Chapter Text
"What's that?" Yoongi points at the silver band on Seokjin's finger. On his ring finger.
The eldest spreads his hand out on the sheets of Yoongi's bed, between where they're sitting so Yoongi can clearly see the engraved silver. There's an intricate design, and Jin pulls it off to show Yoongi the inside. The Omega squints at it, and then gasps.
"Oh my god."
"Yeah," Seokjin beams, wide and stupidly in love. "Jimin gave it to me two nights ago. Did Jungkook not tell you? He helped Jimin practice how to ask me."
"He didn't mention it. Probably wanted to let it be a surprise."
"Oh, it was. I can't tell you how long I cried without saying anything. Jimin was so freaked out, but he ended up just crying with me," Seokjin says.
"What does it mean, exactly?"
"Well, it's just like promising ourselves to each other. Like, promising we're going to be together a long time and that we're going to work through the hard times, because we love each other."
"Aw, hyung," Yoongi watches as the Beta slides the ring back on, admiring it. "I'm so happy for you. Look at you guys. You're gonna be moving in together and adopting dogs before you know it.
Jin snorts, "We already live together."
"Yeah, but you know what you mean."
"I do," the elder allows. "I was thinking about asking Jimin this soon, myself. We've just made each other happier and better in ways I never thought we could. Isn't it weird how we can know someone for so long, then all of a sudden we see them entirely differently?"
"It is," Yoongi agrees, even if he really doesn't understand. "What's the biggest difference with Jimin now as opposed to before?"
"Well, you know how he is. He's always been good at reading people. I guess now I’ve fully realized what it means to be vulnerable. We've talked about fears and hopes and random shit, but it's all been so validating. He really lets me be a version of myself I'm not used to being. It makes me feel so much lighter."
Yoongi smiles, so happy for them. Inwardly, he wonders what that's like. How you can trust someone so much that you completely let go of your insecurities. Sometimes Yoongi gets really close with Namjoon, Seokjin, or Hoseok, to letting all his walls fall down. But there's always some part of him that he holds back. Always another wave he doesn't let fall. A fear he doesn't speak because he's scared of being judged or pitied. Of course he knows they would listen and support him. He knows that. But to act on it? To trust the net will catch him if he steps off the tightrope? That's something altogether different.
"How would you have asked Jimin?" Yoongi asks, leaning on his hand. Maybe he can live vicariously through Seokjin a little bit.
"Oh, I don't know," Seokjin laughs, ears a bit red. "He deserves something magnificent, but I know he would prefer something small and intimate. I think our fancy dinner was somewhere right in between. Still, I'd love to take him to a spectacular destination, or somewhere really sentimental, and ask him."
"Maybe you can be the one to propose."
"Propose?" Seokjin laughs. "I think we're more of a mate than a marry couple."
"Good," Yoongi jokes, "Marriage is a bullshit institution."
"Really? Mr. Romantic doesn't want to walk down the aisle with Jungkook?" Seokjin questions.
Yoongi opens his mouth, too surprised to reply. Right, Jungkook. His fake boyfriend. "Well, I don't know about that."
Seokjin seems to notice Yoongi hesitance, how his tone changes from light to stilted. "Yoongi, is everything okay between you guys?"
"Yeah, of course. It's just new."
"It's been weeks."
"That's not very long."
"I think it's long enough to know whether you guys are going to last or not," Jin points out.
"Hyung," Yoongi frowns. How can he respond to that? To Seokjin's blind belief that what Yoongi and Jungkook have is real? Sooner or later, they're going to have to let all of Bangtan down by telling them they're breaking up.
Oh, that will be hard. Yoongi can already imagine how their faces will drop. Their worry for Yoongi. For Jungkook. How they'll be coddled and tiptoed around. How Sejin will organize stuff to keep them separate, thinking it's painful to be together. It's not the breaking up with Jungkook that will hurt - it's how it will impact everybody else that will sting. Ripple effects through everything. What if their break up makes the house of cards fall?
"Well, what am I saying? I'm sorry," Seokjin apologizes, frowning at the floor. "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I didn't mean it like that. I guess a little part of me is still in shock that I can be so happy, and that I'm this happy because of Jimin. I'm worried I'll mess it up."
"You won't," Yoongi reaches over and grips his arm comfortingly. "You and Jimin made a promise to listen to each other and work together when things get tough. I don't think either of you will break that promise."
"You're right. We won't. And you and Jungkook will do the same," Jin adds, "We all care too much about each other to let anything tear us apart."
"You're right. If me and Jungkook don't work, we're still best friends. We still care a lot for each other. It wouldn't change anything, right?"
"Right."
They smile at one another, Seokjin's gaze drifting around the room.
"I thought Jungkook moved in here?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. He just spends the night. He didn't move his stuff," Yoongi explains.
"Clearly a lot of it," Seokjin chuckles, pushing off Yoongi's bed. He goes to the other side of the room to where he used sleep, and lifts a blanket to his nose. "Jungkook sleeps here? He doesn't sleep with you?"
"Well," Yoongi blushes. "We like our space. We're not that intimate, I guess."
"You haven't...?" Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
"No!" Yoongi yelps. "We're taking it slow hyung, okay?"
"Okay, okay. It's not a bad thing. I was just wondering."
"You really don't need to wonder about my sex life."
"Well, I just want to make sure Jungkook is taking care of you."
"Oh my god," Yoongi hides his face in his hands.
"Listen, Yoongi. It's my job as your only hyung to tease you mercilessly. Don't blame me, it's just the job. Besides, I gotta make sure you're being safe. Use protection. Who knows where Jungkook's dick has been," Seokjin shrugs.
Yoongi throws a pillow at him, annoyed and embarrassed.
It would be a lie to say Yoongi's never thought of Jungkook that way. But it is true that he hadn't thought of Jungkook until very recently. Very recently. Like, it had taken Jungkook engulfing Yoongi with his whole body in a hug after the gym for the thought to occur to Yoongi.
They'd been there yesterday with Taehyung and Namjoon, doing simple floor stretches, squats, etc. Nothing too strenuous, just stuff for toning. It had been fun all together, and Jungkook and him had spared each other many looks as Namjoon and Taehyung openly flirted in front of them. It wasn't something they did before, but did now that thought the two were dating. After they'd finished and Yoongi was filling up his water bottle, Jungkook came up and hugged him from behind. Arms tight around Yoongi's waist, crotch to Yoongi's ass, and intense petrichor scent all around him.
"Hyungs seemed to think we weren't coupley enough. They just asked if we're doing okay," Jungkook had whispered, hot in Yoongi's ear.
Oh, that had been so dangerous. Yoongi hasn't stopped thinking about it. About how Jungkook is hardly taller, and yet can make himself enormous around Yoongi. About how Jungkook Alpha scent is addicting, and how much Yoongi's Omega has wanted to tilt his head and submit to him. Fuck.
His Omega is gravitating towards Jungkook, and now Yoongi is looking too. Thinking about him when they're not together, more than he should be. They're pretending to date - but that doesn't seem so important anymore. Not with how Yoongi's Omega feels, and not with how Jungkook is treating Yoongi exactly how he would hope a boyfriend does.
"Hey, Yoongi."
"Hm?" Seokjin is at the door now, about to leave Yoongi alone with his thoughts.
"I'm really happy for you and Jungkook. Take your time and go slow, I don't want you to think you need to rush just because me and Jimin have moved so quickly. I hope I didn't say anything that made you think I don't support you guys."
"You didn't," Yoongi reassures him. "Thanks, hyung."
"Sure."
~
Yoongi climbs into the SUV behind Taehyung, yawning as he does so. Inside, Namjoon and Hoseok are already sitting. They're being driven to the company. Everyone needs to be on site today in case producers need them for vocals or recording. The track they recorded last week, Louder Than Bombs, is in it’s final stages. If they're lucky, it will be done by tomorrow. They're also recording a demo for their new rendition of We Are Bulletproof, and Yoongi is half expecting to see someone cry during it.
Seokjin and Jimin went earlier, and Jungkook has been at the company since he left Yoongi's room at 7 this morning. He'd asked the younger where he was going, and Jungkook had said that he had an acupuncture appointment and then plans to record the final version of his solo song.
As they drive, Yoongi scrolls through his phone. He reads articles about current events, about what's happening in his hometown. After a few minutes, he looks up and finds three sets of eyes watching him.
"What?"
Hoseok coughs, glancing between his partners before saying, "You've been different lately, hyung."
"Okay?" The Omega raises a brow, looking to Namjoon for more.
"He means," the leader gives a dimpled grin, "You haven't been so down. You've really been different since you and Jungkook started dating. We think you're really good for each other."
"Oh," Yoongi feels his face warm up, "Well, you three are amazing for each other too."
"We know," Hoseok laughs, confident. "It's just different with you, though."
"Why?" Yoongi frowns, incredulous.
Namjoon shrugs, "Because. You've always wanted someone, and we thought Jungkook would never want that. But it makes perfect sense now that you're together. He was just waiting for you."
"I really don't think that's it," Yoongi says.
"And," Taehyung jumps in, a boxy smile on his face, "Now we're complete. Our pack is whole! We're all together. We create happiness in our relationships, and share that happiness with one another. It's so nice hanging out, knowing we've all become so fulfilled. Knowing all my hyungs are happy, it's the best feeling."
Yoongi stares at Taehyung, stomach twisting. Whole? Complete?
"It's not like we weren't happy before," Yoongi says softly.
"Oh, no! That's not what I mean," Taehyung's mouth flattens. "We've always made each other so happy and loved. I find it important though that we're each getting another round of love in addition to Bangtan love."
Yoongi nods, pretending he agrees and understands now.
When they get out of the car ten minutes later, Namjoon pulls Yoongi aside.
"Sorry to corner you in the car, there. We've just been talking about the different vibes in the dorm and stuff."
"It's not that different," Yoongi shrugs, "I just saw you kiss two boyfriends, so..."
Namjoon laughs, "Yeah, guess so. Oh, I was meaning to ask. Isn't your heat soon?"
Yoongi bites his tongue. Damn, it is, isn't it?
"Next week, I'm pretty sure."
"Okay. Just make sure you put that in the schedule so you're given the days off."
"Right."
Namjoon pats him on the back, and they head up into the building. They make their way to the main floor, getting into a conversation about their unit song. Yoongi had finally found what he meant by "retro audio" and recorded an example for Namjoon, layering filters over it. They both agree they need someone else's voice to record it in order for the desired effect. It's basically going to be a recurring "sample" of a man singing, "Should I stay or should I go?"
It's the perfect touch. Something to set it apart from everything else and throw it back to the 90s.
Yoongi has some story-boarding and themes to look over that will go in his solo music video, so he and Namjoon part ways in the hall. He's not really in the mood to hide alone in his cave of a studio, so instead he looks for a red, glowing recording sign in the hall. He goes to the nearest, stepping into the listening booth uninvited.
He's greeted by the sound of Jungkook's voice.
Yoongi whips his head to look through the glass, laptop clutched in his arms, to see Jungkook at the mic, headphones on. He's still recording his solo, the engineers and producers hunched over the sound board and fiddling with the knobs. They glance up at Yoongi as he enters, but wave him in and gesture towards a free chair. The Omega graciously takes it.
"He's doing really well," one of the vocal coaches says to Yoongi. "But he doesn't seem happy with it. When he listens it over he says his diction isn't good enough. I think it's pretty clear, and we've been practicing it a bunch, but..." she shrugs. "You know how he is."
"I do," Yoongi peers at Jungkook again, this time noticing the wrinkles on his forehead and the frown on his lips. "He'll get it though. He knows not to push himself."
"I'm hoping so," the coach mumbles, turning back to the glass.
Yoongi opens his laptop, finding the email with all the information regarding the upcoming video. There's a dozen files. Wardrobe, makeup, set design, lyrics, motifs, cast, crew, and then what he's looking for. The story board. He clicks on it, letting the scanned drawings take up his entire screen. He goes through the slides one by one, humming when he understands what they're going for here. He likes what they came up for the shadow concept, even if it's simple. Having people dressed in black is far better than throwing in something CGI that takes away from the integrity of the piece.
"Play it again," Yoongi looks up at the sound of Jungkook's aggregated tone coming in through the speakers. "I need to redo the hol' ya part. I have to listen to the demo, wait a minute."
Yoongi sees Jungkook remove his headphones, get out his phone, and play the demo. He repeats the pronunciation over and over, trying to get it right and without an accent. One of the producers tells him he's got it right, and Jungkook practices the chorus too. Finna find my time. The flow of the lyrics is different from anything Jungkook's done before. It's a bit on the R&B side, and his method of delivery is fast, melodic, verses. Not rapping, still singing, just - more pronounced, quickly paced, and carefully timed to match the beat of the track.
The Omega goes back to his work, emailing about the color scheme and requesting a location change. Placing the opening sequence in a hotel with doors flying open would be a much more impactful and clear way to get across the double meaning of the shadow. There's Yoongi's shadows, and his struggles. Then, there's Bangtan's fame, and the cost of it that is also a shadow. There's been a few too many occurrences where they had to get on a plane immediately after a concert instead of spending the night in a hotel, because security hadn't been tight enough, allowing fans to infiltrate their private floor. It's scary to know that the same who claim to love them, could hurt them.
Yoongi wonders what would change if they came out about their relationships. Most likely, everything. Even if their fans still loved and supported them, the media would certainly take the news very differently.
He tries not to let his thoughts linger on that too long, opening a different file and going through the wardrobe. Yoongi likes that they're having him play himself - Yoongi - and his persona, Suga. The styles they chose for both match well. He's not looking forward to dying his hair twice for one video, but oh well. He's made bigger sacrifices before. It seems like it will all be built in-house, unless they find a real hotel after reading his request. In-house recording is nice though because it means his schedule won't be too exhausting.
"Excellent, great job, Jungkook-ssi. You're happy with that one?"
"Yeah, it works."
"Great," the producer sounds relieved. "Let's move to the outro, then. Do you want a break?"
"No," Jungkook's voice sounds a bit rough. "Let's go for it."
"Alright."
Yoongi hears the vocal coach tsk as they allow Jungkook to continue. The singer probably should have stopped for a bit, Yoongi thinks. The last section sounds especially difficult, just a continuous vocal rhythm, Jungkook "ah"-ing melodically into the mic. It's difficult, and not something Yoongi could even attempt. Then, he coughs, the producers halting the track as Jungkook clears his throat and gets water.
"Okay, break time," the producer announces.
"No," Jungkook argues. "I'm fine now."
"Not for you," he replies, not missing a beat, "For me."
Yoongi sees Jungkook nod, shoulders dropping. The younger can't argue with that.
"Hey," the vocal coach whispers to Yoongi.
The rapper glances up at her, "Yeah?"
"Can you get him to chill out? He needs to take care of himself."
"Oh," Yoongi purses his lips. She must know about them, and she was probably there when they were recording Louder Than Bombs and Yoongi was the one over thinking. She knows that the two relax each other. "Okay."
Yoongi sucks in a deep breath, shutting his computer and leaving it in the chair. He pushes into the recording room, Jungkook catching sight of him immediately. The younger frowns, about to say something when Yoongi approaches him and takes his hand.
"Hyung, what are you doing here?"
"I was watching."
"You were? Why?"
"I didn't want to sit in my studio alone," Yoongi confesses, the words sitting heavy on his tongue. "You're overworking yourself out here. You know better."
"I know," Jungkook looks down, a bit ashamed. "I'm being a perfectionist and I should really trust that it's good enough."
"Let me scent you," Yoongi requests before he loses his nerve. His heart is beating fast in his chest.
Jungkook meets his gaze, eyes wide with surprise. "Are you sure?"
"It helped me a lot when I was in this exact same position. It will help you too. Let me, okay?"
"Alright," Jungkook nods.
Yoongi swallows anxiously, watching the Alpha turn his head slightly. His skin is tan and smooth, a little mole on his neck and the smell of petrichor strong and intoxicating. Just being this close to Jungkook is leaving Yoongi reeling. Now he has had to cover up the wonderful smell of rain with cherry blossoms? The Omega grabs onto the front of Jungkook's sweater for balance, getting on his tiptoes so he can reach properly. He presses against the Alpha's throat, his heat eliciting a shiver on Yoongi's spine. He holds his breath, does his best to remain steady. Jungkook is holding his waist, breathing softly against him.
Yoongi lets him go, smelling a soft sweet floral and almond scent on Jungkook. The Alpha smells like him now.
Jungkook smiles, still holding onto Yoongi's hips. And suddenly, Yoongi wants to kiss him. Wants to yank Jungkook's head in and make their mouths meet. He wants to taste him for himself, wants Jungkook holding him tight. The Omega lets out a half-gasp before cutting himself off, stepping away from Jungkook so that the younger's hands have to fall.
"Okay, you got his now right? Is that better?"
"Yeah hyung," Jungkook laughs, like it was nothing. Like it had no effect on him, even though Yoongi is now spiraling and he's not even the one who got scented. "Thank you. I'll see you after, okay?"
Yoongi goes back to his seat, only realizing as he enters the listening booth that literally the entire crew just witnessed him scent Jungkook. If any of them didn't know they were "dating" they do now. The coach who had asked him to go to Jungkook gives him a grin and thumbs up, and he gives a sheepish smile to her.
He opens his laptop but can't focus on anything other than Jungkook finally nailing the outro and sounding pleased with it. The recorders congratulate him, sounding immensely relieved, and they move on to backing vocals. Yoongi's heart is still thumping against his rib-cage. He slips out minutes later, bumping into Seokjin in the hall. They grab some food together, and Seokjin shows Yoongi what they have so far for his solo track.
After a while, Yoongi forgets about what happened in the recording studio and focuses just on his friend.
~
Jimin helps Yoongi roll kimbap in the kitchen. Though the Beta has never been one for cooking, he says that he wants to be able to contribute to meals just as much as Seokjin so that the eldest isn't always taking care of Jimin, without Jimin being able to give anything in return. Yoongi's glad for the company, and thankful it makes the dinner process go by much faster.
They prepare cucumber, carrots, baby spinach, and danmuji to go inside alongside the omelet that Yoongi's frying in a pan. The rice is ready to go, and Jimin is getting the spinach going, cooking it down to be soft and tender. By the time the omelet is finished so is the spinach, and Jimin takes out their singular bamboo mat from a drawer. He places a seaweed sheet on it as Yoongi finishes slicing the egg into strips. They take turns at making rolls. Yoongi adds extra danmuji, Jimin slips some kimchi inside, and soon they've amassed seven rolls that they cut into rather thin circles.
Only Jungkook and Namjoon are home besides them, but the others will get to the rest of the kimbap when they get home. After the two join them around the kitchen island, Jungkook getting himself a bowl of white rice on the side, they discuss how the album is going. The maknae seems at ease now, and he says he's really happy with how his recordings came out today. Jimin is still in the early stages, but is appreciating how the producers have so far interpreted his desired message.
Namjoon feels a bit left out, his solo having cake out in the previous album, but says it's given him more time to work on other tracks and help the members. Jimin shares about asking Seokjin to wear a promise ring with him, and Namjoon gives him the biggest dimples smile with Jungkook teasing the Beta for being so whipped already. Yoongi raves about the concepts for his music video, and they all insist on seeing the designs. He shows them the storyboard images and Namjoon ends up talking their ears off about Carl Jung throughout the rest of dinner. Jungkook is the best at humoring Namjoon's tangents, staring adoringly at their leader and asking all the right questions that the Omega is all too excited to answer.
Jimin and Yoongi share a look, a bit lost, and frankly ready to go to bed. They tag-team the dishes, Put away the leftovers, and by the time they're done Namjoon and Jungkook have finally let the conversation die out.
"You guys going to bed?" Namjoon glances between Yoongi and Jungkook.
Yoongi looks at the Alpha, "Uh..."
"Just remember," Namjoon continues, "We have that photoshoot all day tomorrow."
"Oh, right," Jimin says, "What's it for?"
"The Japanese Fan Café."
"Okay, we won't be up late then," Jungkook assures, heading out of the kitchen with Yoongi on his tail.
Jungkook goes to his own room first, telling Yoongi he'll be there soon. The elder hums in agreement, and hurries to shower and change into pajamas before Jungkook comes. He pulls onto sweats and a t-shirt, shaking his hair out in a towel aggressively. He hates sleeping with wet hair; there's nothing worse than feeling cold water slither down your neck as you try and fall asleep. Or to turnover and find your face pressed into a damp pillowcase. Yoongi puts on the moisturizer his stylists recommended, to rejuvenate his skin and wash away the chemicals from makeup. By the time he's sitting down in his bed, he's exhausted by the routine. He doesn't always have time to do it, but when he does it puts his body in the perfect mode for sleep.
"Hey, hyung," Jungkook enters, dressed similarly and dark, wet hair slicked up off his face, exposing his forehead and clear skin. "Good day, it seems?"
"Yeah, I think so. Yours?"
"Good," Jungkook sits on the bed that has become his over the course of the past few weeks. "Like I said at dinner, I really am happy with my song. I think ARMY will really like it."
"Especially with the timezone metaphor," Yoongi agrees, "They'll appreciate that a lot."
"Ah, yeah," Jungkook looks a bit embarrassed. Yoongi thinks it's about the compliment, but the maknae adds, "Namjoon-hyung could smell you all over me when we came home from the company. I think he's really proud of us."
"I know," Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, glad for the dim light and the blankets on his lap. "I'm so scared of disappointing him. Of disappointing all of them."
"You never disappoint us, hyung."
"No, Jungkook-ah... I mean us disappointing them. Whenever we decide to pretend to break up they're going to be heartbroken. They're so happy we're a balanced group, a perfect pack, but you and I..." Yoongi trails off, sees Jungkook nodding as he understands.
"I know. I feel that way too. And I know if we told them we've just been pretending all this time they would be even more hurt. But, you know, there's no reason for anything to change or go wrong when we break up," Jungkook attempts to quell both their worries. "It's not like it will be a real break up. We're just friends right now, and we'll be just friends afterwards. We haven't changed at all, just what we label ourselves as has."
Yoongi sucks in a breath, heart tightening. It really shouldn't hurt so much to hear Jungkook state true things. "You're right."
"Let's not worry about this, hyung. Nothing bad will happen so long as we show them that we're handling ourselves maturely and that we decided we're better off as friends. It'll be mutual, so it doesn't have to be a big deal."
"Yeah, okay," Yoongi pushes his pillow up against his headboard, leaning on them so he and Jungkook can continue to talk for a while. Even though his body is relaxed, his mind is still going. "Hey, Jungkook?"
"Hm?"
"What's the thing you really want to do? You mentioned it in your studio...?"
There's a pause, quiet and warm. Jungkook smells like rain again, his scent drifting over to Yoongi like the window is open during a storm. His pheromones are calm though, happy. It makes Yoongi feel even more comfortable just sitting here with him late at night, talking about little things and big things like they have been. Jungkook isn't Seokjin. He doesn't replace what Jin was to Yoongi as a roommate and best friend for years, but Jungkook does bring something else. Something that continuously seems to leave Yoongi longing for more.
"I can show you," Jungkook whispers at last.
Yoongi watches the Alpha crawl off his bed and to the desk on his side. Lately, some of Jungkook's belongings have been gathering there. A pair of glasses, chapstick, lotion. There's a notebook, a charging cable that's plugged in, a set of headphones. Yoongi's glad he's started making it his own. Jungkook picks up the leather bound sketchbook, taking off the elastic band and coming over to stand beside Yoongi's bed.
"Can I sit with you?" The Alpha asks, tone soft and eyes doe-like.
Yoongi smiles, insides flooding with warmth. He scoots over to make space and Jungkook garbs one of his pillows. He carefully climbs up beside Yoongi, legs on top of the blankets, but his side pressed into the Omega's. Jungkook hands over the book, letting Yoongi take it into his hands.
The elder smooths his hand over the cover before opening it. He's met with a blank page, but then after that one there's drawings and writing. I'd rather be dead than cool is written over and over again in dark pencil. It's written in different fonts, formats, and sizes. Beside some of them is a skeletal hand that Jungkook drew, doing the rock on symbol. Yoongi isn't sure what he's looking at exactly, but they're all beautiful. Jungkook's life motto is beautiful, perfectly suiting his humble and thoughtful nature. Not all talented, successful, Alphas could become this famous and still be so effortlessly genuine and kind.
Jungkook still doesn't do anything, and Yoongi doesn't either. He keeps flipping the thick, dry pages. The images finally change, and now there's an elaborate flower taking up the entire page. Yoongi doesn't know what type it is, but it is a very clearly specific kind. The flower is drawn from a variety of angles over the next few pages, and when Yoongi turns the next his breath hitches slightly. Taking up the backside of the previous page and the front of the new one is the phrase Please Love Me. Yoongi can't help but to flip through faster, eager to see how the flower and the words come together. It results in the phrase being partially hidden behind the flower. The sketch is rough, imperfect, but it's the last involving the two symbols.
There's more, more that don't have as straightforward a meaning. And the pages are running out, Jungkook has practically filled this entire sketchbook. Yoongi isn't sure how the younger found the time for any of this. Each piece had a ton of attention given to it, what looked like hours of work. Yoongi's never seen him draw any of these things before, and now they're here dozens of times over like they mean something. Like they're for something important.
Yoongi is feeling the edge of the next page, surprised when he feels that it's the last one. When he turns it, he has to stop and stare. ARMY is written clearly, spaced out in the center of the page. The A looks like an upside down V, there's a J written above the M, and little + marks between each letter. A shaded in heart on the left, the ARMY shield on the right. A crown. A circle face. This is the first drawing Yoongi touches. He does it very slowly, very softly. Tracing a finger over each line, each letter, the outline of the heart. Jungkook is so warm next to him, petrichor scent strong and - oh. Jungkook smells nervous. Like he's scared of what Yoongi is thinking.
"What are these for?" Yoongi asks quietly, even if there's no need to be. The moment feels precious, like everything is hanging in the balance.
"They're for me. They're for... Tattoos."
Yoongi jerks his chin up, meeting Jungkook's vulnerable gaze.
"Oh, wow. They're beautiful. I don't know what they all mean, but you obviously took so much time making them into what you wanted. Wow," the Omega repeats, glancing back down at the book. "Even this one? The ARMY one?"
"It's not just ARMY," Jungkook says. He reaches over, hand brushing Yoongi's. He points at each letter as he speaks, "The A looks like a V, for Taehyung. The R and M, RM, is for Namjoon. The J is for Jimin, Seokjin and Hoseok-hyung. Then the Y is -"
"For me," Yoongi finishes in awe.
"Yeah."
"You want this on you?" Yoongi checks, in disbelief.
"Yeah," Jungkook laughs a bit, flattening his hand next to the picture. "Right here, on my hand. ARMY on my knuckles."
"Oh my god," Yoongi whispers. Then he blinks over at the younger man, admitting shamelessly that, "You're so cool, Jungkook-ah. It's incredible that you drew these, but that you want to get them tattooed? That's so cool. They all fit you so well, I can't believe I never imagined you with tattoos before."
"Hyung, stop," Jungkook shoves Yoongi's shoulder, bashful. "Have you imagined any of us with tattoos before? I didn't even think about it until a few years ago when -"
"Years!?" Yoongi exclaims. "That's a long time! You've been planning these that long?"
"Yeah," Jungkook shrugs. "But I started feeling ready for them, maybe, 6 months ago? I don't know. I was thinking of getting them during our break."
"Oh, our month off?"
Jungkook nods, looking like he's holding something back.
"What is it?" Yoongi questions.
"I want the rest of the tattoos on my arm. Like, up my entire arm. And I'm scared of the company hating me for it, or making my wardrobe difficult to manage and stuff. I'll have to cover them most the time, and I'm scared it will be a hassle."
"Jungkook, if you're ready for them and you want them, you should go for it. They're for you anyway, and if they aren't shared with the whole world, does it matter? And you know all our staff love you, they want you to do things for yourself because you're selfless all the time. Okay?"
"Hyung," Jungkook's voice is a gurgly, making Yoongi look at him. The Alpha has tears in his eyes, one even falling down his cheek. "Don't say that."
"They do love you, though. They support you and want you to be happy," Yoongi puts his over Jungkook's and squeezes, heart wrenching as he watches Jungkook cry silent tears.
"No, not that," the younger corrects. "I'm not selfless. I take so much for myself that I don't need, and I don't always say thank you, and I don't treat people as they should be treated. And I keep everything in and make people worry, and lying to people is probably the most selfish thing you can do."
"No," Yoongi says gently. He doesn't want to invalidate how the other man feels, but he also doesn't want to let Jungkook's assumptions and perception of himself go unchallenged. He holds onto Jungkook's hand tighter, he can feel the Alpha's body shaking where they are pressed together. "You can make mistakes. You can have bad days. You can be busy and forget things. It's alright not to be perfect all the time."
"I know, I know. I just, I feel so bad. I feel so guilty, even if no one is ever actually hurt. I know how I could have been better, and that's what bothers me," Jungkook admits.
Yoongi stares at Jungkook who is sniffling and wiping his tears with the back of his hand. The Omega doesn't know what to say. Doesn't know how to help him.
"Can I hug you?"
Jungkook blinks a few times, and nods.
Yoongi wraps his arms underneath Jungkook's, holding him tight and clinging to his shirt. He feels the Alpha's breath come in gasps, chest heaving. Yoongi is relieved when Jungkook hugs him back, head resting on the elder's shoulder. They stay like that until the Alpha's breath evens out, until his scent has calmed down. Jungkook is the first to pull away, eyes a little red but otherwise he looks okay. Composed.
"Thank you," Jungkook says, then laughs, "I don't know why I got all emotional all of a sudden."
"It's okay. I don't mind. I'm here for you whenever you need a good cry," Yoongi promises.
"Thanks, you're a good hugger."
Yoongi snorts, turning away and closing Jungkook's sketchbook. He hands it to him, and Jungkook smiles. The Alpha slides off Yoongi's bed, shuts off the lamp light, and then rustles the blankets as he climbs under them. Across the room for Yoongi. And now, the Omega has a gaping, cold hole beside him. Empty.
Jungkook doesn't say anything else, even when Yoongi whispers good night to him.
Yoongi lays his pillows down flat, pulls the blankets up to his chin. He falls asleep quickly, hands balled into the sweater Jungkook left him so long ago, and face buried in Jungkook's pillow that he left behind. Petrichor eases him to sleep...
... Petrichor wakes him up.
Yoongi's phone tells him it's 4am, and it takes a minute to gain his senses and figure out what woke him. Then, after a deep inhale, he smells it. Fear. Fear pungent and harsh. Like lightning striking a tree in a storm; smoke in the water. He sits up straight, zeroing-in on the bed across from him where he sees Jungkook's silhouette in the dark.
"Jungkook?" He whispers.
"Shit," he hears the Alpha's muffled curse, then the shuffling of blankets as his dark outline sits up. "I'm sorry hyung, I didn't mean to wake you up."
"What happened? Did you hear something? Are you okay?"
"No, nothing like that. I'm fine, I just had a stress dream."
"A nightmare?" Yoongi seeks clarification.
Jungkook audibly sighs, "I guess so."
Then, all at once, any reluctance or resistance or hesitation Yoongi's felt over the last few weeks vanish. All he can think about is Jungkook, how much he cares for him, and how much the Alpha clearly needs someone at his side as much as the Omega longs for one. Yoongi tosses his blankets off, hissing when his barefoot hits the cold floor.
"Hyung? Where are you going?" Jungkook sounds alarmed at the Omega's movement.
Yoongi approaches his bed, stands beside him as Jungkook's features come into a blurry view. Even in the dark, the Omega can see the frown on Jungkook's face. Up close, his scent is even more distressed. The rain is like a hurricane, spinning out of control and wrecking whatever might be in its path.
"Move over," Yoongi says.
"Move over?" Jungkook echoes, incredulous. "What for?"
"Just do it," Yoongi grumbles, unable to help his pout. It gets Jungkook to listen though, the Alpha leaving space on one half of his bed for Yoongi to get into. The Omega crawls under the covers, yanks them up, and feels a bit giddy as he feels Jungkook's warmth again.
"Hyung, what are you doing?" Jungkook is holding himself up with one arm, as far from Yoongi as he can be. He stares at the elder like he's gone mad.
"I'm going to sleep here tonight."
"But, that was your one rule," Jungkook whispers, tone flattening out as he grows serious. "You said no to that."
"Well, things happen and rules change. I want to be here. I want to sleep here, okay? I can't stand letting you suffer alone knowing u can do something about it."
Jungkook stares for a solid minute, wordless. Yoongi tries to stay firm, not let his doubt get the best of himself. He sighs in relief when Jungkook drops his whole weight back onto the mattress, head lying not a foot or twin from Yoongi, plenty of space between their bodies on the queen-sized bed. But this isn't what Yoongi wants, and it's not what Jungkook needs.
"Come closer," Yoongi voices.
"Why?"
"So I can do something about your fear."
"And what can you do?" Jungkook is dubious, but he rocks the whole bed as he moves closer, within a foot now. Their knees kicking slightly beneath the covers.
Yoongi doesn't explain himself further. Just moves in close, Jungkook doing the same as if they were magenta gravitating towards each other.
Yoongi's nose, his cheek, his skin, is pressing into Jungkook's scent gland. Overwhelming the fearful scent with soft, calm, cherry blossoms. Jungkook's pulse is rapid under the Omega's touch, Jungkook's hands warm and hesitant when they touch Yoongi. But slowly, surely, Jungkook calms down. His heart rate, his breathing, his intense scent. The Alpha's eyes gleam yellow in the dark, just for a moment, just a flash that makes Yoongi hold his breath in anticipation.
"Can I scent you too?" Jungkook asks, voice a quiet rasp as Yoongi's heart pounds in his ears.
Yoongi can't believe he just scented Jungkook like that. That he crawled into the Alpha's bed deliberately, just so he could.
"Yes, please," Yoongi agrees, hoping he doesn't sound as eager, as desperate, as he feels.
Jungkook is over him in an instant. The Omega is flat on his back, Jungkook's hands beside Yoongi's head in the pillows. The Alpha does not touch him, his body isn't on him, but he's peering down at Yoongi with softness. Behind the softness, Yoongi sees something sharp. The Alpha instincts locked away.
A whine leaves Yoongi's lips against his will Jungkook's nose and lips skirt over his neck, a cheek pressing under his jaw, gently on his scent gland. The Omega doesn't feel embarrassed though, though he might tomorrow. Instead, his hands firm Jungkook's and keep them pinned on the sides of his head, encouraging Jungkook to scent him longer than necessary. And the Alpha does. Breathing steadily, skin so soft, petrichor rippling over Yoongi and bringing him contentment. Settling his Omega, telling it that he succeeded in helping the Alpha.
Jungkook doesn't really stop scenting Yoongi. He does, however, lie down beside him, arm over Yoongi and pulling the Omega into his chest, nuzzling his face into Yoongi's neck and keeping them held tightly together.
"Is this okay?" Jungkook whispers, breathless.
"Yes, yes," Yoongi says it twice, so the Alpha can't doubt him. "It's so nice."
Jungkook hums, and Yoongi feels himself blushing. He hasn't been spooned in so long, and it feels so nice. And now, even better, he smells like petrichor all over. And Jungkook smells like cherry blossoms.
And Yoongi is definitely, definitely, falling for Jungkook.