Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Izuku stared up at the sky, watching the clouds float around like ducks on water. He was successful in trying to drown out Kaachan’s voice until the boy in question started tugging on his hair.

“Oi, are you even listening to me you shitty Deku?!” Kaachan yelled, and god, Izuku’s ears were going to go deaf at this rate. Why couldn’t he just talk like a normal person? “I’m going to be Number 1,” Izuku wanted to roll his eyes. It was like a broken record, just repeating itself over and over again. “And you better not get in my way!”

“But Kaachan, I don’t want to be a hero!” Izuku whines. “You told me not to be a hero, so why would I get in your way?”

Kaachan didn’t even hesitate before yelling the same words to his face, small explosions popping near his hair as if to emphasize his point. Izuku wondered if this was how all 6 year olds acted. Izuku glanced at Kaachan, making an innocent expression before shushing him, which seemed to enrage the blonde even more.

“I don’t know why you keep yelling about this hero stuff, Kaachan,” Izuku smiled before reminding the blonde once again. “I’m quirkless, remember?”

***

Midoriya Izuku wanted to be a hero. He wanted to protect everyone and keep them safe with a smile, just like All Might. That was, until he went to visit the doctor with Mama. That was when everything started going down the drain.

Once he was diagnosed quirkless, Kaachan stopped being nice. He started yelling and hitting him, calling him a useless ‘Deku’, and not before long, everyone started following suit. It sucked, but that was okay. Kaachan would make a great hero, and he would too. That was what he kept repeating to himself before he went to sleep, clutching his All Might plushie even tighter.

No matter how bad the bullying got, Izuku’s determination never faltered. A hero would protect everyone, so Izuku couldn’t hate them. One day Izuku would have to save them from a villain, so he just learned to forgive and forget. Just like a hero.

Always like a hero.

That is, until the day he came home. He shifted his hair to cover the bruise on his forehead and pulled down his trousers a bit to cover the burns on his knees. He put on a smile as he entered the house.

“Mama!” Izuku yelled. “I’m home!” He looked around before finding Mama on the couch, the television broadcasting a villain attack on the news. This was weird, because the attack was from America, which meant that the attack had to be really bad to go global.

“I-Izuku, honey,” Mama’s eyes were red and puffy again. That happened to Izuku too when he felt sad and cried a lot. He frowned. “Come here, honey. I have some news to tell you.”

Izuku climbed beside Mama on the couch and leaned against her side. “What’s wrong, Mama? Why are you sad?” Izuku patted her tear-stained cheek. “Don’t cry. Mama looks prettier when you smile.”

That made Mama cry even harder and Izuku scrambled to take the tissues from his pocket. “Izuku, your Papa is dead.” Izuku blanked out. “He- he got caught up in a villain attack and the heroes couldn’t save him.”

“The heroes couldn’t save him?” Izuku was confused. How could the heroes not save Papa? They were supposed to save everyone!

Mama nodded. “Mama’s very sad right now, so forgive me if you see me crying a lot, Izuku.” He shook his head furiously. “Mama doesn’t have to say sorry! Mama loves Papa, so Mama can cry a lot…”

Mama gave him a sad smile. “Papa won’t be sending money to us anymore, honey. So Mama has to get a job, okay?” Mama started drying her eyes with tissues as she continued speaking. “I’m sorry I can’t be there for you as much anymore!” Ah, this is bad. Mama started crying again. Izuku hugged her tightly.

“Mama,” he whispered. “I’ll get a job too, then.” Mama started shaking. “But Izuku, you want to be a hero!” She started stroking his green curls, clutching her boy tightly. “You don’t have to do that for me.”

Izuku entangled himself from her arms, determination shining in the eyes of the 5 year old. “ No, Mama. I don’t have to be a hero. I want to make Mama happy!” Izuku grabbed his mom’s hands, his fingers so small against hers. “You’re already my hero, so I need to save you too! How can I save you when I’m too busy fighting villains?” Izuku gave her a sad smile, repeating the words spat his way everyday. “And I’m quirkless anyway… I can’t be a hero without a quirk.”

Mama threw herself against Izuku and wailed, a series of “I’m sorry”s filling the house.

That fateful day, something in Midoriya Izuku cracked.

***

Kaachan sneered at him. “Hah?! What about all that crap about being a hero? Not like you could be one anyway, you quirkless nerd!”

Izuku gave him a disinterested look. “I’m going to get a job!” he declared. “And I’m going to earn lots of money for Mama!”

The blonde narrowed his eyes. “So you’re not going to be a hero?”

Izuku gave a huff, “Not everyone wants to be a hero, Kaachan.”

Kaachan just glared at him. “You’re lying! Who wouldn’t want to be a hero?! Stop lying and get out of my way, Deku!” Kaachan started to go on a rampage, exploding random leaves and being a general menace to Mother Nature.

Izuku wanted to slam his head into the sandpit.

Chapter Text

Aizawa entered the police station after receiving a distressed call from Tsukauchi. Apparently, after weeks of dead ends, they finally found a lead on the case of the new vigilante.

The vigilante had showed up 2 months ago after the police started finding unconscious bodies of lowlife thugs in dark alleyways or in the corners of busy streets.

After a few days of researching and compiling evidence, they had decided that this had been the work of the same person. At first Tsukauchi denied it, because what kind of monster took down 47 criminals in the span of 2 weeks? It was simply unheard of! Not only that, but for every criminal they caught, a large sum of money would appear by the receptionist’s desk. Did they think the police department was so poor they needed donations?

He remembered ranting to Yagi and Aizawa over the phone several times this week, telling them his doubts that the same vigilante would have apprehended all these thugs.

That is, until he interrogated every single criminal they had found around the area.

“What happened?” Tsukauchi asked.

That’s the thing, you see. Every time he asked that question, the same answer always came back.

“Th-they was too fast. I was just about to mug someone, and then suddenly I woke up in a jail cell!”

“All I saw was a blur of green, and I was out like a light!”

“I was with my buddies, and one moment we were cornering this guy, and the next I was getting handcuffed!”

The worst part?

They were all true.

Just what kind of demon wandered into the world of vigilantism?

***

A few blocks away, Izuku sneezed.

***

“So you’re telling me that this vigilante who managed to evade the police force for 2 months and leave no traces behind, just happened to patrol the same neighborhood all this time?” Aizawa was skeptical. They had almost no leads, and suddenly a rookie pointed out that the vigilante’s victims were all strewn around in a circle on the map around a certain neighborhood. And it never changed.

Tsukauchi sighed. “Just give it a go. If it doesn’t work out, we’re back to square one. We have nothing to lose.”

That was how Aizawa found himself patrolling in a circle, a fucking circle. After hours of empty alleyways, Aizawa was about to head back before hearing voices around a building. He ran to the location to find a corner beside a dumpster. A mugger was cornering a man, threating him with a knife to hand over his wallet, and before Aizawa could jump in to apprehend the criminal, a can rolled in front of the mugger.

“Oh shit!” And before Aizawa comprehend what the hell just happened because was that cat food, a kid slammed into the guy with so much force that he was thrown into the dumpster and immediately passed out.

He watched the boy panic, yelling “fuck, not this again” and promptly apologized to the unconscious mugger, even going as far as doing a dogeza and holy shit it left a dent on the dumpster what the fuck what the fuck what the-

“You saved my life!” cried the man. Aizawa watched as he bowed to the kid before handing him way too much money for a child that age before scampering off. The literal zygote because what the hell isn’t he supposed to be asleep I- gave a confused expression before picking up the can of cat food and walking away.

The kid was about a few blocks down before the realization hit him.

Aizawa wanted to cry and resign from his job. By the time he went home, there would be an empty bottle of whiskey and a flipped table.

But before that, he had a vigilante (was the kid even a vigilante?) to catch.

“Hey, kid! Wait- kid!” Aizawa caught the boy in his scarf, dragging him up the roof to sit beside him. He was going to get to the bottom of this, and whether this kid was a delinquent or not he was going to- ah shit he looks precious.

Doe-shaped eyes blinked at him through unruly green curls, freckles dusting over his face like sugar on a doughnut. He was short, barely reaching Aizawa’s shoulder. He was tempted to take a picture and send it to Hizashi.

“Are you a cosplayer?”

That immediately snapped him out of his trance because adopting random kids on the streets is illegal. “No, I’m a hero.”

Something in the kid’s face clicked. “That makes sense. Why am I tied up though?” The kid’s eyes started to water. “Am I in trouble?”

“No, you’re not in trouble,” Aizawa reassured quickly. “That was a highly dangerous thug you just came in contact with and the police department would like you to report it.”

The kid nodded and stopped tearing up (thank god), but then proceeded to look at Aizawa suspiciously. “Are you really a hero, though? I’ve never seen you before on the news.” He looked thoughtful. “Not only that, but you didn’t even try to save me and that man from the thug.” Aizawa didn’t mention how the kid rammed into the thug at the speed of light and left him unconscious.

“I’m an underground hero, so I don’t really appear in the news that much. And you seemed to have that situation under control. Good job, by the way.” Aizawa felt awkward in lying. How was he supposed to tell the kid that he was originally about to arrest him?

They walked back to the police station after Aizawa properly tied the criminal up, making small talk about mundane things until they saw Tsukauchi standing near the entrance. He locked eyes with Aizawa before raising an eyebrow, noticing the kid beside him.

“Let’s bring this inside,” Aizawa sighed.

***

Tsukauchi tried to keep the confusion off his face as he entered the interrogation room, the child who Aizawa brought in on the other side of the table.

He drank a sip of coffee as he took a seat, flashing the child a smile before opening the note Aizawa hurriedly crumpled into his pocket.

He’s the vigilante

Tsukauchi choked on his spit, quickly looking up at the boy currently fiddling with his glass of water. Okay, stay calm and don’t scream. He could do that.

And the interrogation began.

***

Aizawa didn’t bother looking to the seat occupied beside him before slamming another shot of vodka down his throat. He could hear the detective sigh. “The rest is on me.” Aizawa merely nodded before swallowing another shot.

“So, how did the interrogation go?”

Tsukauchi groaned, hiding his face in his hands before playing the recording.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Midoriya Izuku…”

Truth.

“How old are you?”

“I just turned 13, Sir!”

Truth.

“What did you do today?”

“Ah, I went to my part-time jobs after school!”

Truth.

“What happened before you met the hero just now?”

“I was on my way home when I dropped a can of cat food. I was about to get it, but when I looked up, a random man was unconscious beside me! Then this other man thanked me and gave me a bunch of money before running away. That was when the hero found me.”

Truth.

Tsukauchi spat out his coffee.

“D-does that usually happen?”

“Yes! You see, I have many jobs around the neighborhood, and many people had warned me that the route I was taking was very dangerous. But so far I hadn’t run into anyone! Apparently there was a rumor going on that a vigilante was taking care of the criminals around the neighborhood. I often find a lot of unconscious thugs on my way home.”

Truth.

He was this close to weeping. He gave the kid a map.

“Ah, Midoriya-kun, do you happen to go near any of these locations? Can you dot the places if you do?”

“Of course! I work part-time in a pet shop here, a café a few blocks down, an arcade just beside it…”

Tsukauchi watched as the dots made a perfect circle.

“Oh right! Mr Detective-san, lately strangers have been giving me large sums of money. Don’t worry, I didn’t keep any of it. I often leave it at the receptionist’s desk at the front, but no one ever seemed to be available there.”

Truth.

Tsukauchi watched with wide eyes as the boy produced a thick wad of money and slid it across the table. It was around the same amount of money the vigilante always left around. He was this close to a mental breakdown.

“Thank you so much for your time, Midoriya-kun. Please, keep my number in case this happens again. By the way, what is your quirk?”

“Oh, I’m quirkless!”

Truth.

The moment Midoriya left the room, he called Aizawa. “Save me a seat.”

After a few moments of silence, the two adults took another shot.

Chapter Text

Midoriya Izuku was a fucking enigma, and not even Bakugou could figure him out. Not only does the quirkless nerd refuse to be a hero (who doesn’t want to be a hero?), but instead of playing Heroes and Villains with him, shitty Deku opens a fucking gambling center in the middle of the monkey bars!

Bakugou sulked near the slides as he watched Deku slam another uno reverse card towards the extra in front of him. This was the sixth time this week that another kid ran home crying without their lunch money.

“Uno, Yuna-chan!”

“B-but, Midoriya-kun…”

“Draw the fucking 4 cards, Yuna-chan.”

After the eleventh kid played with Deku, the fucking bastard finally looked satisfied with the growing pile of money beside him. He stood up as he collected his cards, half of the deck suspiciously wet with tears. He looked up, his face brightening into a smile and why is it so fucking bright his eyes are smoking holy shit-

“Kaachan!” Bakugou watched as the fucking Deku ran towards him, his bag bulging with weeks’ worth of allowance. The green haired bastard tilted his head. “What are you doing here alone? That isn’t very cash money of you.” The impish freak grinned slyly. “Wanna play a round of uno with me? We can bet our allowances…”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, DEKU!” Bakugou screamed because he was not about to lose his fucking allowance today. “WHEN I BECOME A HERO, I’LL BE RICHER THAN YOU AND ALL YOUR LAME ASS JOBS!”

“At least I won’t waste my paychecks in a hospital.”

“HAH?!”

Deku looked at his All Might watch before gasping loudly. “Sorry Kaachan, but I have a job in 15 minutes! Go home without me!” The shitty nerd then took out a- what the fuck. The bastard had the decency to look embarrassed. “Since I won’t be going home with you anymore, a villain might attack you while you’re alone.” Bakugou growled and the nerd immediately backtracked. “I’m just saying… If you meet a villain, just blow on the whistle as loud as you can. A pro might hear it and save you!”

“I don’t need a pro to save me!” Bakugou boasted. “I’m the best hero and I’m going to be Number 1!” He looked at the shitty nerd who seemed to be mumbling something under his breath. Bakugou scowled. “Got something to say, Deku?!”

“Ah, never mind. Anyway, I really need to get to my job!” He watched the broccoli bastard sprint away and huh. Bakugou squinted as he tried to find Deku. Where the hell did he go? Bakugou shrugged as he went home, pocketing the whistle because it was an All Might collector’s item, not noticing the small footsteps that cracked the asphalt and left it smoking.

How could a job be more interesting than being a hero anyway? He would get to the bottom of this bullshit!

***

The first time it happened, Bakugou was running to the playground. He was the king of the elephant slides, no way was he letting some shitty extra play on it. On the way there, he bumped into a woman. He scowled and was about to start yelling before noticing that the woman was running away again.

“OI, COME BACK HERE AND GROVEL, YOU FUCKING HAG!” Bakugou yelled. How dare she just run off?! Bakugou took out his whistle, puffing up air into his cheeks to prepare to blow before an All Might bookbag flew through the sky and hit the lady in the back. He watched as the lady tripped and fell into the sandpit before a blur of green speeded towards her.

What the hell?

Bakugou watched as the quirkless nerd picked up the lady bridal style, stuffing a cupcake in her mouth before jogging away. The shitty Deku finally noticed him, but instead of that godawful grin he always smiled, a creepy smirk fixed his way to the boy’s face.

“Boss’s orders.”

And Bakugou watched Deku walk away with the struggling lady.

What kind of orders did Deku get?!

***

“I’m sorry, Rina-chan! But Saki-senpai said that you forgot your phone and she wouldn’t allow you to go to the concert without it…”

“Izu-kun, it’s fine. But what was up with all that “Boss’s orders” stuff anyway?”

“Ah, right! I’ll tell you later!”

***

The second time it happened, Bakugou was finishing his homework on a nearby bench. He was going to finish it in the classroom, but all those extras kept complaining how hard the math equations were. Hah! What a bunch of idiots! He could finish this in an hour tops.

He suddenly heard a shrill shriek of terror coming from the park in front of him, a middle aged man running around the trees before knocking into Bakugou’s bench, making all his worksheets and textbooks scatter all over the ground. He grinded his teeth. What kind of irresponsible asshole shoves a kid’s homework all over the ground?

He took out his All Might whistle, but before he could put it to his lips, a Hero Day edition All Might water bottle smacked the guy in the shoulder at the speed of light. Bakugou blinked before staring in wonder at the whistle. Did he do that?

Bakugou was still in awe of his new found quirk before a flash of green appeared again and snatched the man away. Bakugou choked as he found the fucking wimp once again carrying a full grown adult bridal style.

Deku looked up and locked eyes with him, and he felt a shudder run up his body. What the hell’s with the intense look the he was getting? The shitty nerd’s eyes flashed a dark green before he smoothed out his face like a fucking mannequin.

“He must pay.” And he disappeared.

Bakugou pocketed the whistle and collected his homework. He didn’t even want to fucking try to understand what just happened.

***

“Juki-san,” Izuku pouted. “You should know better than to run off after gambling with me…”

“Kid, you have to understand. I didn’t know you were a beast at Uno! If I did, I wouldn’t have bet my whole salary!”

“Pay up, Juki-san.”

***

Bakugou walked home with Extra 1 and Extra 2 after beating up an upperclassmen from their school. Fucking weak ass. This just solidifies that Bakugou would be the only one from Aldera Junior High to go to UA. What a fucking epic backstory. He, the Number 1 hero, came from a shitty middle school and rose to the top by going to UA.

Bakugou started cackling as his lackeys backed away slowly. The two extras looked concerned. (“Aren’t we going to get ice cream?” “Maybe he thinks vanilla cream swirl sounds funny…”)

Bakugou was too busy cackling to notice a villain with a chainsaw quirk creeping behind him. The blonde watched in annoyance as those extras ran away with their tails between their legs. What a bunch of fat asses, it’s not like the ice cream shop would go anywhere.

A loud rumbling sound shocked Bakugou as the ground beside him exploded into dust and grains of rock. His eyes watered from inhaling the dust as he tried to back away. What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn’t see where the fucking villain was, shitty coward. His hands reached his pocket before he held something bumpy. His eyes widened. This shit never failed him once, so it better not fail him now.

Bakugou took out the whistle and blew on it so hard his cheeks puffed up red.

Silence.

“You think a whistle’s going to stop me, kid?” The villain snickered. “One wrong move and I cut off your pretty little arm-“ The villain bastard then went cross eyed, his knees buckling before he fell face first to the ground. Holy shit, the fucking coward was frothing at the mouth. Was that normal?

Bakugou glanced at his savior, before looking down at cracked All Might action figure. Its neck was snapped in a 90 degrees angle and one of its legs were detached. Suddenly, a voice rang out that haunted Bakugou’s nightmares for the next 3 months.

“I-I-I-I AAAAAAAAAA-MMMM-MM-M HHEHEHHHHEHHEEER-REEEEEEEEE!!!!”

The figurine’s catchphrase sounded broken and glitchy like a doll’s voice from a horror movie, the ‘here’ ringing out for several seconds before it cut off. Bakugou felt his face drain of color because it really is black voodoo shit holy fuck I’m burning all my All Might figurines when I get home-

The blonde looked up, and he watched as the last bit of his soul escaped from his body and fly away to the void.

Deku tilted his head, his big green eyes unblinking as he looked at Bakugou, not breaking eye contact as he picked up the All Might action figure and stuffed it in his bag. He still did not break eye contact as he hooked his elbows under the villain’s underarms and lifted him up like a sack of potatoes.

“Kaachan…” Deku drawled and what the fuck why is he here when did he get here why is he slowly dragging away the villain I-

The shitty nerd had the fucking audacity to wink at him, whispering a bone-chilling “He needed to be silenced” before pulling away the man to the nearest alley.

Bakugou staggered to the sandpit beside the playground as he threw up his onigiri, clutching the All Might whistle tightly. He laid there on the ground for a few hours before the truth dawned on his 13-year-old brain. All those other instances where Deku carried away those people… THEY WERE ALL DEAD!

(“Eh? Juki-san, Rina-chan, are you okay? Did the allergy season come early?”)

Then, that means…

Fucking Deku was a hitman.

The moment Bakugou went home, he immediately locked himself in his room and dug out a small safe. He gently placed the whistle inside it before locking it for good. He connected the fucking dots, you see. This whistle somehow summoned Deku’s fucking All Might inner fangirl and will immediately teleport Deku to wherever he blows the whistle to eliminate the target.

From that day on, he swore he would only use the whistle for emergencies, and will pass it down to his family as last-resort protection. He was blessed with a dangerous power and he would use it wisely.

A thought suddenly hit the poor boy like a truck. What if the drug ring the quirkless bastard was working at decided to silence him for using Deku too much?

Bakugou dug up a hole in the garden and dropped the safe.

***

Tsukauchi looked up and immediately chugged his cup of coffee. He needed all the energy he could get before dealing with this shit. He gave a smile to the boy in front of him.

“Midoriya-san! I didn’t expect you to come back so soon!” Tsukauchi exclaimed, because it was true. He was short on manpower and hired Midoriya for a quick job. A villain had just escaped the interrogation room a few hours ago and he had no extra backup to get him back.

What he didn’t expect was for Midoriya to come back after just asking him to capture the villain 7 minutes ago.

Midoriya looked bashful. “Is this a bad time?” the boy asked, shuffling his red high tops as if he wasn’t carrying a full grown-ass man with a chainsaw quirk that added to the weight.

  “N-no no, of course not.” Tsukauchi assured as he watched the boy beam and was that the fucking sun holy shit.

Midoriya then picked up the villain and skipped to the interrogation room, stopping halfway to the water dispenser to get a cup of water. The boy then continued on his way while using one hand to carry the cup of water and the other to carry the criminal.

Tsukauchi was concerned because what kind of heavy lifting job does this boy go to and should he call the child protection services-

“Ah, Midoriya-san. Did you happen to meet anyone on your way here? I think some people may get the wrong idea when they see you carrying an unconscious villain.”

Midoriya looked thoughtful as he placed the villain in the interrogation room. “I met my friend! But don’t worry, Officer Sansa has been teaching me ways to act inconspicuous. He even gave me a notepad on easy ways to quickly explain the situation to someone and leaving immediately with no hard feelings!” Midoriya handed over a lime green notepad with a picture of a broccoli on the front. “It’s really professional, Tsukauchi-san!”

The next day, he placed Officer Sansa on bathroom duty for a week.

***

Izuku came to school the next day, only to find the hallway immediately silent once he entered the building. He looked around. Why was everyone staring at him?

Before he could question today’s sanity, he felt his shoulder push forward, a tall boy with a crocodile mutation quirk stomping ahead, not before glaring at him.

“What are you looking at, you quirkless freak?” And Izuku watched in slow motion as a fist was aimed at his face. Guess I can’t go to my modelling job today.

That is, until a sea of hair surrounded the boy’s fist and pulled him away from Izuku. He watched as the crocodile boy sputter. “What the hell, Tsuna! Don’t tell me you’re defending him?”

The girl glared at him, before whacking him in the head. “Are you crazy?! He’s yakuza, you dumbass! You wanna die?” Those words echoed across the hallway, everyone waiting with bated breath to see the hitman’s reaction.

Izuku blinked.

Chapter Text

“Thank you and come again!” Izuku smiled sweetly, and watched in mild confusion as the customer hissed in pain and ran away while covering her eyes. This was the seventh time today that they forgot to collect their change…

Izuku packed up his things and was about to close up the stationary shop when the owner came out. Jin-san was an ambitious man who came all the way from America to start a mechanics store, but didn’t have the funds to back it up. His old shop was destroyed from the villain attack a few years ago, and ever since then, he travelled to Japan to renew his dream.

Jin-san grinned. “Here’s your reward for the day.” He handed Izuku a sleek black notebook and a few colored gel pens. Unlike his other jobs, Jin-san paid him with stationary. It didn’t bother Izuku, because this shop’s stationary was good quality and he needed them anyway.

“Thank you, Jin-san!” And once again, he watched, puzzled, as his boss turned his head in the other direction while he beamed. He carefully placed the stationary in his bag before waving goodbye.

He exited the shop and started to walk home. That was, before he dropped his rabbit eraser on the ground. Izuku crouched down before jumping up, hearing a faint ‘oof’ and a thump. He looked left and jumped in shock.

A man was thrown in a far off corner towards a brick wall. He was unconscious, the wall behind him already littered with numerous spiderweb cracks. Izuku winced. What kind of monster could have done this?!

“Young man, get away from there!”

Izuku instantly took a step back and watched curiously as a tall skeleton-looking blonde ran his way. He so looked sickly and frail that Izuku unconsciously prepared himself to catch the man in case he decided to trip and fall.

 The blonde had finally reached him, twin tufts of hair framing his face. He heaved as his hands grabbed his knees for dear life. “Y-young man, are you okay? That was a villain-“ And just like a scene from a horror movie, blood erupted from the man’s lips, spraying all over the concrete and dripping down his chin.

Oh my god.

“S-sir?!” Izuku felt faint. Was he supposed to do CPR? He watched a tutorial one time, but Izuku feared that the man just might crack in half if he even attempted to press on his chest. “Should I call an ambulance? Do you have a phone- fuck, wait! Don’t open your mouth- WHY IS MORE BLOOD COMING OUT?” He felt himself hyperventilate because who was this man and why was he vomiting blood in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Don’t be worried, young man!” The man yelled and jesus fuck more blood’s coming out why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut-

“This is perfectly normal,” The blonde man assured. Izuku didn’t feel assured. He felt like wrapping the man in a blanket and running to the nearest hospital. “I was in an accident a long time ago.” As if that didn’t put more questions in his head.

“Do you want tissues? Or painkillers?”

The man paused.

“Yes please.”

And that was how he found himself sitting on a bench in the park near the shop, eating bread while a stranger wiped blood off his shirt and mouth.

“So… does this happen a lot?” Izuku questioned. He watched the man nod and Izuku felt incredulity bubble in his stomach. “Then why were you chasing that man?”

The man gave him a sorrowful look. “It is the duty of a hero.”

Izuku scowled. “You can’t bullshit your way out by using that excuse! Who even are you? I’m pretty sure you’re not a pro, and you’re definitely not a vigilante.”

The man scratched at his neck in embarrassment. “I am All Might’s assistant. You can call me Yagi.”

“Does he know about your injury?” Izuku demanded. “A-a bit, yes.” The freckled boy exploded. “I didn’t peg him to be the type to overwork his employees! What a bag of dicks. You should order a lawsuit against him, Mr Yagi!”

Mr Yagi choked as he coughed into his tissues. Izuku saw specks of red. “N-no, no. This was my decision. And young man, you do know All Might is the number 1 right?”

Izuku gave a petty huff. “Who cares if he’s the number 1 hero! Being the Pillar of Peace doesn’t make you immune to being an asshole… For all we know, Endeavour could be a child abuser!” Izuku flustered at his last statement, but continued boldly. “And for you to continue on with whatever you do knowing full well you can barely run, let alone fight, is not what a hero does. You’re just being selfish.”

Izuku wondered if this was what life had in store for him. He, a quirkless 14 year old boy, mother henning a stranger that coughs up blood and chases criminals for fun.  

The man gaped, his eyes clearer as if his words had wiped some filter from his eyes. “What’s your name, my boy?”

Izuku gave a small smile, the man suddenly squinting his eyes. “It’s Midoriya Izuku.”

And if Izuku passed by a limited edition All Might notebook without a second glance, then it was nobody’s business after all.

***

Ever since that faithful day, Yagi had been meeting this freckled puzzle more and more. He had recently realized that his usual jogging route was the same route that led to Midoriya’s morning job, and now it was routine to accompany the boy to the shop before doing what a Pillar of Peace should do.

And for you to continue on with whatever you do knowing full well you can barely run, let alone fight, is not what a hero does. You’re just being selfish.

He didn’t know whether to be impressed by the boy’s words, or be concerned that his mouth might be the death of him one day. Perhaps he was being selfish, but what could he do? The world needed All Might, and he wasn’t about to ignore that desperate cry for help.

And Yagi- no. All Might defied the laws of the world as he soared past buildings to find the first villain he would apprehend today.

While he used up about 2 hours of his time limit, All Might realized that the boy had great potential to be a hero.

To be the next wielder of One For All.

***

Izuku wiped his nose as he restocked the pencil aisle. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. He had been feeling irritable all day. Not only did someone accidentally unscrew the hinges of his locker today because why else would his locker door just pull off- but someone had been giving him large amounts of money to clean the Dagobah beach. Not that Izuku would refuse the job. The beach would be beautiful once it was cleaned.

He sighed as he walked towards the notebook aisle, before bumping into a boy with multicolored eyes and bicolored hair.

What an interesting combination…

The boy watched him, as if waiting for Izuku to say something. He felt his eye twitch.

“Do you need help finding something?” Izuku observed the boy narrow his eyes. Was he going to be one of those customers?

“You don’t have to pretend.” The boy said quietly, something angry and hurt simmering underneath his words. “You can ask about Endeavour.”

Izuku snapped.

“I’ve said this once, and I’ll say it again!” He yelled. “Just because you’re a top ranked hero doesn’t make you unable to do anything shitty,” The boy’s expression looked stunned. “And why the hell would I ask about a person who acts like a dick on live TV?!”

A short huff of disbelief dragged Izuku back from his yells. “I-I’m really sorry for yelling at you and um…” He peeked at the boy’s cart. It was filled with colored markers and paints. “The notebook aisle is beside the cashier, by the way.” He bowed as he hurriedly made his way to the pencil aisle to take refuge. He just yelled at a customer! Holy shit he was going to get fired-

“Hey kid,” He tilted his head to see a nervous Jin-san. “You’re 15 right?” Izuku nodded. “In 3 months, why?” Did Jin-san see what happened?! Is he going to fire me?

“I have a quick job for you- nothing too serious! I’ll pay you too! Just-UA has these really high-tech robots and…”

“Jin-san, what do you want me to do?” Izuku asked curiously. Jin-san gave him one of the best deer-in-the-headlights looks he had ever seen. He actually felt quite impressed.

“I want you to join the UA entrance exam.”

Izuku blanked out as packs of highlighters slipped from his hands.

Chapter Text

Izuku stared up at the sky, watching as the stars twinkled as if mocking him. The feeling of laying down on the coarse sand of the Dagobah beach seemed cathartic.

He started cleaning up all the garbage this afternoon and had only succeeded in a small part of the area, wondering in amazement at how ignorant people could be. The sand was a pristine white, still keeping its original color after people had covered it up with waste and trash. Izuku felt more determined than ever to transform this place into its prime.

“I want you to join the UA entrance exam.”

The freckled teen wanted to scream. The dream that was crushed by the heavy realization was still laughing at him from a distance. He knew he couldn’t be a hero, so why was the universe tempting him with something so painful?

He understood that Jin-san didn’t mean any harm by suggesting it. The man just wanted some information and blueprints from the UA entrance exam and after hours of research and digging, Izuku found what had caught Jin-san in such a desperate frenzy.

The UA entrance exam had 4 types of robots for the exam takers to defeat (which in his opinion, is extremely biased towards flashy quirks). 3 of them as a point system of sorts while the last one, also known as the ‘Zero Pointer’, is more of an overpowered obstacle. Jin-san must have thought that those robots would be the key to opening his mechanics shop again.

The job was easy enough. He just had to deconstruct each robot and write down notes and sketches of its main design in a small notebook. The real problem was the fact that he didn’t know if he could handle the rejection from his dream school in the form of a letter. He knew he would definitely fail, of course he knew that. He may be a bit naïve, but he at least isn’t oblivious enough to think that a quirkless nobody like him could pass in one of the lowest rate of accepting schools in the country.

But at the same time… the price was absolutely mouth-watering. The sum was enough to pay the tuition fee of Mama’s law school for a whole semester and have enough change for at least 2 trips to the grocery store. He didn’t want to deny his mother a happier life because of his selfishness. What kind of son would he be?

He gazed at the stars again, watching them wink with the brightness of a million lights. He gripped the sand.

Once upon a time, Midoriya Izuku wanted to be a star. He wanted to shine brightly and have everyone looking at him with awe. He wanted to shoot across the sky, murmured wishes thrown at him from miles away as he streaked light in the dark sky.

He wanted to be the hope in utter darkness.

But at the end, that was wishful thinking.

Instead, he was thrown away like a worthless pebble. He streaked across the sky for a few moments like a comet, before inevitably crashing down and causing havoc for those around him and himself. In a blink of an eye, he wasn’t in the sky anymore. He was just a rock pushed off from space.

He was just Midoriya Izuku, the quirkless Deku, not a shining hero.

The green haired boy stood up and dusted off random grains of sand from his jeans. Enough of this moping! He was going to get a job and earn fortunes on top of fortunes to make Mama’s life equivalent to a queen’s!

Izuku grabbed his backpack and left, jogging quickly to reach home in time for dinner. He knocked on the door before opening it slowly, his worries softened at the homey atmosphere of their house. After years of hard work, Izuku had finally managed to get enough cash to buy a house for the 2 and move out of their small apartment.

“Mama, I’m home!”

Midoriya Inko came running in all of her motherly glory. Her smile was so bright that Izuku felt his eyelashes curl and burn at the tips. He listened with equal excitement as his mother rambled on about her latest class. Ever since they moved out, Inko had started to accept the death of her husband, and after a few months, finally mustered up the courage to finish her education to help support the family, ignoring her son’s reassurances that she didn’t have to do a thing.

As Mama continued to explain her new assignments, Izuku was tapped on the shoulder with a gentle understanding that made his heart warm.

If he was a comet that fell down from the sky, then his mother would be the ground that welcomed him with open arms and gentle soil.

After all.

Who needs a star when you have the whole world tucked into the palm of your hands.

***

Yagi watched worriedly from behind a tree as the young boy continued laying on the sand. He watched Midoriya enter the beach a few hours ago per his anonymous demand with a rather irresponsible amount of money to along with it. He wanted to see the limits to this boy and see if he is the worthy successor of One For All.

Granted he didn’t except to come back 4 hours later to find out that the boy had been sitting on the sand and star gazing.

Yagi felt panic at first because was this kid paralyzed from shock or something does he need to amputate a limb-

Then slow comprehension whacked him in the forehead that left him solemnly nodding and leaving not soon after.

Of course, how could he be so blind?

It was another case of teenage angst bullshit and its side effects also known as existential crisis and edgy thoughts.

Yagi walked away, only stopping to buy a box of bread from the local bakery and sending it to the Midoriya household.

***

Walking up the stairs to his bedroom, Izuku finalized his decision to go join the UA entrance exam. If he did refuse, he would not only deny his mom from an easier life, but also crush Jin-san’s one-way ticket to his dream mechanics shop. How could he do that to them?

He slumped in his bed before going to his computer, the contrast between the brightness of the screen and the dimly lit room making his eyes burn. He typed in UA entrance exam in the search engine and pressed search.

Thousands of articles and websites popped up. Izuku kept scrolling down. He finished reading the first 47 articles about the exam a few nights ago to figure out the robot part.

He stopped as his eyes caught an odd title.

UA Entrance Exam : Number of Causalities

Izuku speeded through the article in a flash, and he nearly choked. Falling buildings, faulty wires, cracked asphalt… Nearly half of the examiners were injured, whether fatally or not, was still a staggering number of students. Did the teachers not intervene if things got too dangerous?

The freckled boy felt something click after reading through the article. He knew he wouldn’t pass, so why not help a few people on the way?   

Ring!Ring!Ring!

“Hello?”

“I’ll do it. I’ll go join the UA entrance exam.”

“But didn’t you want to do online classes? You don’t have to force yourself…”

“Oh, I’m still joining the online classes. I’m quirkless, so it’s basically impossible to get in. Plus, with those notes, you could reopen your old shop!”

A sniffle. “I mean, if that’s what you want… Come in tomorrow after school. I’ll show you how to deconstruct the robots to take the notes!”

“Ah, okay. See you, Jin-san!”

***

The teddy bear’s eyes stared at him with furious intensity. He didn’t know why a stuffed bear twice the size of Jin-san was sitting in the middle of the shop, but at least his boss looked excited.

“You’re here!” Jin-san rushed forward and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Come in, we have a lot to do today!”

He pointed at the teddy bear in the middle of the shop. “That bear is the equivalence of a one pointer so get closer to the thing! I want notes about the arms, legs and most importantly, the head. So, first things first.” He gave a manic grin. “Pull out its head.”

Ah… his boss is crazy. But- money. “Sure thing, Jin-san!” Izuku grabbed the bear firmly, one hand on its neck while the other rested on top of the head.

“I don’t expect you to rip it out on first try. After all, the real thing is made of metal. That’s why I’ll give you a knife to make things easier-“

A loud ripping sound filled the shop, a flying head smashing itself against the shop’s window and flying away. The boy in question scratched his head sheepishly. “Sorry, I should have calculated the power I put in…”

Jin-san dropped the knife to the floor.

***

By the time Izuku was going home, a mutilated army of teddy bears and a visibly shocked Jin-san (he was crying while muttering something that sounded vaguely like ‘what the fuck the gods have blessed me I-’) was all that’s left.

Chapter Text

Izuku had always thought of himself as an obedient kid, which is why he was confused to why he was once again facing Tsukauchi-san on the other side of the interrogation table. He watched curiously as the detective gulped down his coffee in the speed of light while Eraserhead whispered something that sounded like “you know that shit’s not strong enough, try again-“

Tsukauchi-san looked up to meet his gaze after chugging his drink. “Ok Midoriy a , let’s not waste any time. Tell us everything.” Something beyond the word tired was in his voice, something so powerful and ancient that Izuku nearly had the urge to ask “who hurt you” because the detective’s eyes screamed something along the lines of I don’t get paid enough for this shit please send help-

Izuku could relate.

“Ah, where do I begin…” Izuku mused. “My day was going good until All Might came!” Tsukauchi-san choked. “C-could you repeat that?”

“Hm… you may not believe me, but I’ll try to explain in as much detail as I can!”

When Izuku opened his mouth, Eraserhead passed a bottle of vodka and a shot glass to the detective.

***

Izuku occasionally glanced up from his notebook to listen to his teacher, but he just couldn’t help but let his mind wander off. He had so much to do today! He scribbled more tasks to complete in his notebook while his classmates fidgeted around him nervously. Apparently, he heard someone dub his notebook The Blacklist, which is horribly outrageous because the only list he had was the grocery list.

“You guys are all third years now. It’s time to start thinking seriously about your futures!” His teachers yelled, slapping a set of papers onto his desk. “I would hand out these future career forms but… I assume you all want to be heroes!” Izuku wanted to roll his eyes as his whole class started screaming, showing off their quirks as career forms rained down upon them. As if it wasn’t illegal for underage quirk usage.

What a waste of paper.

A cackle interrupted his thoughts. “Sensei! Don’t lump me in with these losers!” An outburst of anger came from his classmates as the freckled boy picked up his pencil and continued to write down his schedule. Since the age of 7, Izuku had finally obtained the skill also known as muting out Kaachan’s bullshit. It had powered up so much that he could now zone out during Kaachan’s Number 1 hero speech completely. Until this day, it is still his biggest accomplishment in life.

“Oh.” The teacher mumbled nervously. “You’re also going for U.A., aren’t you, Midoriya? I thought you were taking online classes?”

The sudden silence was unnerving as they all turned to stare at the boy. What a snitch. Everyone watched Izuku speak, not once stopping his writing. “Eh, don’t get me wrong Sensei. I would never dream of being something as ambitious as a hero. Let’s just say…” He gave a small smile in the direction of Kaachan to reassure him that he wasn’t trying to one up him. It didn’t seem to work as the explosive blond became paler. “It’s more of a job.”

As he said that, he made a loud and obnoxious line across his notebook, the tip of his pencil snapping.

The whole classroom felt a few degrees colder as they worriedly wondered what the hitman could have crossed out. Was it a name? They all peeked at Bakugou who excused himself to go to the nurse’s office.

Izuku slumped back down in his seat, looking at the line he made on the paper. Silly me, we still have eggs at home.

***

He was packing up his books when suddenly, a fist slammed down on his table, making all his belongings fly across the room. Izuku glimpsed up to see a slightly smug Kaachan.

“So you finally gave up all that crap about working your ass off and shit and decided to become a hero?” He couldn’t deal with this right now. He was late to his day job at the pet shop! “Welcome back to reality, useless Deku! Even if you do want to become a hero now, you can’t! You think going to U.A’s going to change jackshit?” Izuku remined himself to buy Kaachan anti-wrinkling cream for his birthday next year. At this rate with all the emo glaring, he would have a forehead like a raisin.

“Kaachan,” Izuku remined. It seemed that he was the delusional one here. “I don’t want to be a hero. I’m quirkless, remember? Do you think I could pass the entrance exam if I tried? It’s all for a job.”

The blond just sneered, picking up his notebook as he spoke. “Stop making up excuses to make yourself feel better! You can’t be a hero, plain and simple. Don’t use this bullshit-“ He waved around Izuku’s notebook “-to cover it up! What even is this anyway? Jobs For The Future?” He barked out a laugh. “CUT THE CRAP!” Izuku watched as his notebook exploded, its cover burned beyond recognition as it was thrown outside the window and into the koi pond.

Izuku snapped.

“That was a present from Mama!” Izuku screamed. Kaachan seemed shocked at first, before something jittery accompanied his smugness after that. “Maybe if you want to provide so much for Auntie, go take a swan dive off the roof and wish for a quirk in the next life!”

And if maybe Bakugou stayed a little bit longer, he would have noticed the cracks on the classroom wall as Izuku slammed the door shut.

***

“Wait? Someone said that to you?” Tsukauchi asked threateningly. “Have you reported him yet?”

“Hm… no. He has a bright future as a hero. Suicide baiting wouldn’t look good on anyone’s report card, Tsukauchi-san!” Izuku gave a light laugh as the two adults glanced at each other warily. Just who was this Kaachan?

After a few minutes of processing that the Problem Child would be going to the U.A. entrance exam, Eraserhead took a shot.

“Oh! This is where my day took a turn for the worst!” Izuku exclaimed. “So on my way to the pet shop…”

***

Izuku felt his feet unconsciously brace before jumping high, an odd feeling of disgust filling him before he landed a good distance away from a tunnel pathway, a blob of slime gripping aimlessly towards the spot he just stood in.
“A medium-sized body to hide in…” A gurgled voice whispered from the tunnel. “I’m just hijacking your body, calm down. It’ll only hurt for about 45 seconds… then it will be over.”

Panic overtook Izuku as he whipped out a bottle of pepper spray. This can’t be happening. It’s… it’s-

“SOMEONE HELP!” Izuku screeched out, his thumb pressing the nozzle so hard that the bottle of pepper spray exploded directly on the slime villain’s eye, making him yell out in pain. “IT’S A PEDOPHILE!” In a panic, Izuku grabbed a rock and threw it as hard as he could towards the tunnel.

And when All Might came running to the scene, well… he was confused to see Young Midoriya panicking, a large hole in the middle of the road and a goo splatter with a slime covered piece of cracked asphalt lying beside it.

“I… am here?”

***

“ALL MIGHT!” Izuku yelled because holy fucking shit it’s his idol oh my fucking god I’m about to lose my fucking shit I-

Wait.

Izuku remembered Yagi-san and narrowed his eyes in distaste at the hulking form of All Might as the man scraped off the villain in empty soda bottles.

“All Might…” Izuku whispered menacingly under his breath. This bitch dare overwork Yagi-san like a slave without extra pay? Not on Izuku’s watch.

“Can I have your autograph?” If he was going to meet this asshole, then he was going to milk every second of it.

“OF COURSE, YOUNG BOY WHO I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE!” All Might bellowed, signing Izuku’s notebook with a flourish. Izuku snapped it shut, before muttering loud enough for All Might to hear, “I can sell this on e-bay or some shit like that.”

“I-I what?” All Might sputtered. How dare he act innocent? “I know you, All Might. You overwork your workers while knowing full well about their illnesses! What kind of hero are you?!”

A flash of recognition seemed to pass over his eyes. “I- no! I do not overwork my employees, young man! If the person you are talking about is Yagi-san, then he does what he does willingly!”

“YOU DARE VICTIM BLAME YAGI-SAN?” The audacity of this man! Izuku felt himself fuming at the mouth. “YOU DON’T EVEN GIVE HIM EXTRA PAY! IF I WAS YAGI-SAN, I WOULD HAVE ROBBED YOUR ASS A LONG TIME AGO!” Izuku pointed his finger threateningly at the tall man. “If Yagi-san doesn’t get a paid leave for a week, I’m taking you down to court, All Might.”

All Might gulped as he nodded, before zooming off to god knows where. Izuku finally let out a breath of relief and shock because what the fuck did he just do did he just threaten to sue the Number 1 hero hooooooly shit okay this is fine this is fine-

He felt himself bump into a crowd, screams of terror and explosions filling the air. He tiptoed to see better against the swarm of people and gasped on what he saw.

“IT’S THE PEDOPHILE!” And with that, the people around him seemed to scream louder as Izuku pushed his way through the crowd. He was about to warn the heroes surrounding the area, only to lock eyes with red.

Kaachan?

And Izuku felt his body run towards the slime villain without hesitation, All Might’s signature flapping around as he slammed his notebook towards the slime villain, instantly making goo splatter everywhere as the heroes rushed to apprehend him.

Kaachan looked up with relief and anger before glancing down at the notebook beside him, All Might’s extravagant signature on full display.

The blonde blanched as he stood up and walked away.

***

It seemed that the world was out to get him fired from his job as he once again got stopped on his way to the pet shop.

“Kid wait!” All Might called, running towards him before grabbing his forearm. “Of all the people at the scene, it was only you who acted! You inspired me to spur into action! Your body simply moved before you could think!”

“You can be a hero!” The Number 1 hero declared loudly, and something in Izuku burned.

"I can't be a hero," Izuku said firmly, subconsciously punching a purse snatcher that passed by him. "I don't have a quirk."

All Might squinted. "Are you sure?"

“I have the extra toe joint and everything, so I’m pretty sure I’m quirkless.” All Might just seemed even more delighted. “Let me tell you a secret, young boy! My quirk… can be passed down. It is called One For All, and I believe you can be my successor to inherit it!”

Izuku’s mind was scattered. A quirk that could be passed down? And even if that were possible, why choose him? “But- you’re All Might! You don’t need a successor.”

The man gave a sad chuckle. “Believe it or not, I can’t be the Number  1 hero forever… So that is why, would you like to be the next user of One For All?”

“Nah.”

All Might blinked. “Wh-what?”

“I’m very honored, All Might, but I’m really, really happy with the way I am right now. My mom’s in law school and I have some co-workers who I admire. I even have Yagi-san as my friend. I think being a hero is very noble, but I don’t think that kind of life is for me.” Izuku replied sincerely. It was the truth. Even with a quirk, the hero thing was just so time-consuming. Did he want to be a hero? Well, of course, but you don’t have to save people to become a hero.

“Ah, well… this is very awkward. I suppose you can keep this a secret?”

Izuku smiled and All Might’s eyes watered from a burning sensation.

***

“And that’s my day, I guess.” Izuku shrugged. “I’m just here because All Might wanted me to report about the incident.”

Eraserhead looked thoughtful. “But why did All Might corner you at the end…”

“That’s a secret, Eraserhead!”

“Thank you so much for your time, Midoriya-san! But we have to stop meeting like this.” Tsukauchi-san said, shuffling the papers before standing up. “I almost forgot. You have a guest outside!”

Izuku’s eyes brightened as he saw Yagi-san waving at him, a bag of bread slung across his shoulder. “Is this a bad time? Apparently, All Might suddenly gave me a week off…” Tsukauchi-san raised his eyebrows up in amusement.

“Yagi-san! I’m happy All Might finally gave you a break. Anyway, let’s head to the park first, and then we can go to the Dagobah Beach!” Yagi-san smiled as the freckled boy rambled on, leaving two exasperated adults in their wake.

“So, the U.A. entrance exam, huh?” Tsukauchi teased.

“Don’t even mention it. I’m praying for the Zero Pointers already.”

***

Bakugou googled various ways to erase one’s memories, but to no avail, it only sprouted shit like ‘all memories should be cherished and loved’.

He remembered it so clearly. He was walking home, and suddenly he was engulfed in slime and choking on air. The last thought in his mind was how he wished he bought the whistle with him…

And then fucking Deku comes running and defeating the villain! At first, Bakugou thought it was a coincidence, until he looked beside him. It was a signature.

An All Might signature.

Bakugou booked in a therapy session instead.

Chapter Text

Jin-san looked down at Izuku, whistle in one hand and a scrappy notebook equipped with a portable pen on the other. He had the face of a man that endured one hell of a training montage, with Izuku in a tracksuit and a weirdly accurate skill of ripping heads off teddy bears as proof. If the boy squinted, he could make out tears in his boss’s eyes.

“I-I just, this could actually be the key in opening my shop…” Izuku carefully extracted a tissue, skillfully handing it to Jin-san as this has been a daily occurrence for many months. He watched with barely concealed amusement as Jin-san dramatically grabbed the tissue in one big swoop, blowing his nose loudly as he sobbed in anguish. He dabbed his tears lightly while flipping non-existent hair out of his eyes before throwing away the damp tissue into the air.

Jin-san must have been a theatre kid.

Once he snapped out of his slow-motion anime trance, he looked at Izuku with such intensity that the whole room felt warmer. Izuku was shocked. Was this the power of his boss’s determination?

“Jin-san, are you seriously using your quirk right now?”

“What?! No, maybe it is you who is too young to understand. This is my passion!”

“Your eyelashes are glowing, Jin-san. Stop changing the temperature in the shop, it could damage the air conditioner.”

Jin-san made a ‘tch’ sound before the room went back to normal. The man turned to face Izuku before handing over the notebook. “Look, today’s the big day. Let’s revise the game plan.” Jin-san then proceeded to step on top of the counter, using the cash register as a stepping stone. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” He hollered. Thank god the shop was closed.

“MONEY!” Izuku screeched from the very bottom of his heart.

“WHEN WILL YOU GET IT?”

“ONCE I GET MY PAYCHECK- Wait.” Izuku sheepishly scratched his cheek as he revaluated his answer, trying to remember the reply Jin-san gave him a week ago. “Er… once-once I kick robot ass?”

“SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK!” Izuku didn’t comment on how the shop was practically deserted, but he wanted money, and if yelling about robot ass at 6am in the morning was the way to get it, then so be it.

“ONCE I KICK ROBOT ASS!”

After a bottle of popped champagne in which Jin-san proceeded to chug it straight from the bottle, Izuku set off on his journey with a notebook and pen in hand.

“Ah, wait! A blonde man came by the shop last night. He asked me to give you this?”

He was handed a loaf of sourdough bread, and at that moment, one could even say that the boy’s smile could have rivalled the Sun’s brightness.

***

Izuku looked at the pristine sand of the Dagobah beach, now shining and white instead of its trash-infested counterpart a few months ago. Some people were already jogging on the beach as an early run.

The green-haired boy stared at the vast ocean and walked forward, his heart feeling lighter than it had in months.

Even if he was a has-been shooting star, he couldn’t help but wish to light up the world around him once more, even if he had to do it from the bottom.

***

To be fair, it wasn’t Izuku’s fault. The train had been filled to the brim with people, not to mention the price of a single ticket. Izuku may be cheap, but he wasn’t wasting that much money for a ride to an exam that he was sure to fail. He sighed slightly after the light jog to U.A. (Bakugou was 7 minutes late to the entrance exam due to waking up unconscious in the middle of the street after bumping into a green blur that left skid marks on the ground) and felt his nerves hit him all at once. The gates were much more intimidating in person.

He took in a deep breath, reminding himself that he wasn’t here to be a hero. He was here for business. He was here for money.

With the strengthened resolve of a hundred men, he stepped forward, only to feel himself tilt forward. Fucking- no. No. Fuck you this isn’t happening.

In an unnatural act of defiance against Newton’s Law, with the sheer willpower of a man who embarrassed himself one too many times in public, Izuku forced his body to tilt upwards, suddenly jumping forward and causing someone to shriek behind him.

(Unknown by Izuku, a brown-haired girl watched the whole thing, thinking along the lines of “Oh my fucking god, he fucking dead” while trying to save his dignity with her quirk, only to nearly get body slammed by the living reincarnation of broccoli as the boy disappeared right before her eyes, the only proof that it wasn’t a hallucination being that he left a whole-ass fucking dust trail I-)

***

“WELCOME TO TODAY’S LIVE PERFORMANCE! EVERYBODY SAY HEY!!”

Izuku silently cringed as Present Mic was met with a deafening silence. He was silently impressed by how someone even made the effort to create the sounds of a cricket.

He zoned out by then as Present Mic explained the rules, his hands gripping the notebook and pen tighter. He could do this. His training had been brutal, he couldn’t just let it go to waste!

(Somewhere far away, multiple zero-pointers started creaking and shifting around in fear. One even exploded from the sheer power of a certain green-haired boy’s bloodlust for money.)

As Izuku mumbled his way through the introduction speech, he caught the eye of a boy with glasses and engines in his calves. The boy’s face was obviously displeased, with his mouth in a permanent frown. He noted how his arm was twitching slightly, as if it were to suddenly break into a hand chopping spasm.

Izuku was nearly hit with such an obvious realization

He wanted to shake his head in embarrassment. The boy was obviously trying to ask a question, but was probably too shy to interrupt Present Mic’s speech. Izuku could feel himself melting. It was nice to know that pure people like him still existed in this god-awful world.

With his faith in humanity restored, he once again managed to catch the boy’s attention, giving a small wave and a smile to encourage him to ask his question. The boy had an unreadable expression on his face. Was the boy so nervous and closed off that he was having a hard time processing Izuku’s wave-

“YOU, THE BOY WITH THE GREEN HAIR! PLEASE STOP DISTRACTING EVERYONE WITH YOUR MUMBLING AND YOUR WAVING! IT IS HIGHLY DISREPECTFUL TO INTERRUPT-” All heads turned to him.

Well fuck you too, I guess.

Izuku now kind of gets why a bunch of fantasy and sci-fi novels commonly portrays the human race as dicks.

Not even a second after berating Izuku’s disruptive tendencies that is extremely unbecoming of a hero- The engine boy turns his ungodly middle school teacher rage onto the actual fucking teacher, who looks gob smacked as he was politely assaulted by questions about something something zero-pointer, his arm chopping the air at such an alarming speed that it was just a blur of muscle and square fingers.

Izuku wanted to yell about his act of hypocrisy because did this bitch just lecture me about interruption while he just throws his question at Present Mic I- I just- Holy fuck I’m about to throw some hands right here right now bRING IT YOU CRUSTY ASS CRYBORG SPONGE BOB-

He promptly shuts his line of thought as he was shushed quietly by the boy beside him. Izuku kept his mouth shut for the duration of the speech.

***

“This year’s batch seems to be a bit more interesting than last year’s. So much more eccentric! I like it!”

“Hmm… a lot more flashy quirks this year. We’ll definitely see an interesting score board.”

“Shouta! You have an eye for these kind of things! Any listener that’s caught your eye yet?”

“I believe I saw you staring at the registration paper for Midoriya Izuku?”

“Oh, this is going to fun. Which screen is the boy on?”

“This one! Wait, it’s starting! Oh, he’s running forward, very responsive reflexes! And he got himself a two-pointer-”

The teachers watched in fascination as the boy proceeds to throw himself at the bot, and with horrifying accuracy, he rips off the head of the two-pointer in one drag of his hand. He throws the head into the nearest secluded building before dragging the convulsing body by the feet, its hands scratching the ground while being pulled to meet its head. The boy entered the building not long after with the two-pointers body still intact, grabbing a large plank of wood to secure the place. It all looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie that left the teachers speechless.

“I-”

“Get some footage on that building right now!”

“Shouta, where the hell did you find this kid- Shouta? Oh my god, is that tequila? Shouta- Jesus fuck he’s chugging straight from the bottle.”

***

Sketching robot body parts in a test that could possibly get you killed wouldn’t be the most ideal place to think about lunch, but could you blame Izuku? He was hungry and stressed, and those two things had never gone hand in hand with each other.

Once he was done with the touch ups on his notes, he burst through the wood like a breaching whale, scaring off some examiners while he ran off to repeat the process with a one-pointer and a three-pointer, leaving off his mess of mutilated robots in his wake for the cleaning staff to find.

Now, to accomplish what he really came here from. And boy, did he have work to do.

He immediately ran to a girl near a lamp post who seemed to have her foot injured. She was hyperventilating as the three-pointer came closer and closer, cornering her. Izuku didn’t even blink before he was right behind the bot, his arm clutching its head before tearing it off smoothly. He heard a gasp and gave the girl a reassuring smile, watching in concern as her eyes grew dry and irritated. Was it an effect from her quirk?

He grabbed her and ran back to a secluded spot before asking her what her quirk was.

“I-I can shoot projectiles with deadly aim,” she stuttered because she just got bridal carried at the speed of light to an empty area with a very attractive boy what the fuck was happening-

“Do you have anything you can throw with?” When the girl shook her head, Izuku gently dumped her on a small rooftop of a building before running off to who knows where. Before the girl could contemplate her life decisions and enter a three hour world of existential crisis, he came back with a fucking wall.

“I can’t even open a noodle packet what the fuck-” At this point, she just wanted to go home and stare at the ceiling. She didn’t come here for cute bush boys who rips out walls for fun, she just wanted to throw shit at robots.

Her mind blanked out as she watched the boy crush the wall into small pieces with his bare fucking hands. W-was this normal? Is this just some type of hero steroids or something?

She watched as Attractive Bush Boy On Steroids pushed the pile of debris to her. “Now you can throw this at the robots without moving your leg!” And oh, was she tearing up? Yup, there we go, she could definitely hear the sniffling. Way to make an impression on Attractive Bush Boy On Steroids, Linda. She was still busy sobbing her heart out when he finished securing her ankle. Through her tears, she felt her eyes dry up immediately as Attractive Bush Boy On Steroids smiled and god damn did she crave for a Victorian era fainting couch because she just felt herself swoon-

Or maybe that was the stress.

She blinked, and Attractive Bush Boy On Steroids was gone.

She numbly turned her head towards the clock and choked on air.

This all happened to her in under 3 minutes.

***

“That one. I want him.”

“Nemuri, I swear to god. If you don’t get your slimy ass hands off-”

***

As Izuku ran around the area giving gay panics and sudden urges to elope to everyone he saved, he felt himself slowly gaining white hairs. Why was everyone so keen on dying today? He wanted to yell at the sky before easily catching a boy that was thrown by a two-pointer directly into his arms. He gently placed him down before repeating the same process.

Check the injuries, ask for quirk, give tips and get the fuck out of there to save more suicidal idiots. The one thing he was confused about was the fact that they all seemed to stare at him with big adoring eyes, which was, well-

Izuku made a noise from the back of his throat as he gently placed the boy in an empty spot near a side walk. The boy in question seemed to already be doing the staring thing while whispering what seemed to be “oh my fucking god is this my gay awakening school didn’t fucking teach me this holy shit holy-”

Izuku gave a small grin before the boy hissed in pain and turned away, muttering something about gay fear.

The green haired boy sighed and ran off to his next victim.

While grabbing a girl with a chainsaw attached to her arm away from being crushed by a falling piece of asphalt, he was disappointed that he couldn’t fulfill Jin-san’s last request as he checked the clock despite the man’s reassurances that it was optional. The school wouldn’t release an unstable giant ass robot in the last few minutes of the exam, right?

***

“Release the unstable giant ass robots now.”

“Shouta, fucking drop the whiskey bottle, it’s already empty. Wait, is that- nO SHOUTA YOUR LIVER-”

***

He was coming after U.A.’s ass. He thought Jin-san was joking about the size of this thing because it was huge, towering against tall buildings and sky scrapers like they were nothing. Could he take that thing on?

Do it for extra pay, a dark, dark part of Izuku’s mind whispered temptingly. A part of Izuku that he had thought was locked away into the deepest parts of his mind to be never seen from again ever since that one time he had unknowingly started a nation-wide scavenger hunt for Mothman at 3 am in the morning.

It was back though, and Izuku felt his self-control snap because he was a weak man. But he needed an excuse. An alibi. A reason to take on this monster of a bot without sounding like he had a few loose screws stuck in his head. But what kind of stupid excuse-

A cry of pain was heard from the path of the zero-pointer.

Izuku gave an unsettlingly wide smile that made the zero-pointer stop and creak awkwardly in fear. Blinded by gold.

 It was showtime.

***

Uraraka could feel her throat clogging up as she tried to scream for help, but to no avail, she watched helplessly as the other examiners ran away from that monster.

Who could blame them though? If their roles were reversed, she wouldn’t have given a second thought before bolting to the other direction. She just wished at least someone would have helped her out of this rubble, because god forbid anyone be stupid enough to take on this thing.

And great, everything seemed to blur into one big fat hell of a mess because of course she had to have snot and tear tracks onto her corpse when she’ll be inevitably crushed by a building-sized robot.

On days like this, Uraraka wondered if she was a serial killer in the past life.

Before she could finish her sulking, a green blur rushed past her before stopping as if it forgot something.

Oh.

Oh.

She was the something, wasn’t she? And hngggg okay this is fine, it’s not like she wanted to cry from relief or anything. When the green blur flipped the debris and rubble off her, she finally got a look at the thing before bursting into tears.

It was the Reincarnation of Broccoli.

A fucking vegetable just saved her life from being a really ugly pancake.

How does one proceed with this information?

She felt herself being carried off into a safer area before being gently dropped down. Uraraka watched as the boy quickly wrapped her ankle with bandages and where did he get those bandages anyway? A thought came to mind that maybe he came prepared to help people like her and well. If the Reincarnation of Broccoli subtly handed her a tissue and averted his eyes from her snot invested face, she didn’t speak about it.

After a few minutes of the boy comforting her, she felt this eerie feeling towards this boy. On closer inspection, Uraraka finally realized the familiar expression the boy was wearing. Every once in a while, he would crane his neck towards the zero-pointer wreaking havoc and have the look.

The cash-money look.

“H-hey, you’re not planning on taking that thing on, right?” No response, just a cheeky smile that made her cheeks redden and eyes burn. “Right?”

The Reincarnation of Broccoli gave her a shrug. “It’s for a job.” And he disappeared, taking on his second form as a green blob that was accelerating towards the zero-pointer at an alarming speed. Uraraka gave a sob and covered her eyes because this pure vegetable was going to die and it was because of her and oh my god she couldn’t breathe she didn’t even ask for a name who mourns someone without getting a name I-

A loud rip and a few demolished buildings later, Uraraka turned to see the boy deconstructing the head of that thing while writing it down on a green notebook, his hand moving a mile a minute as he decided to get comfy.

Cautiously, Uraraka limped closer as she watched the Reincarnation of Broccoli sketch out a precise diagraph of the zero-pointer’s head.

“I can make the parts weightless if you want,” Uraraka suggested because this thing just saved her life! If the repayment would be her sitting down tapping stuff, she would do it in stride.

Once they were all finished, the boy turned to her and something clicked in place. An instant bond. A sense of solidarity.

“Money?” He whispered under his breath.

“Money.” She nodded in return, confirming his thoughts.

Instantly, he jumped up as his face broke into a wide smile that made her eyebrows go from step sisters to distant related cousins. “Do you want to beat up robots together?” His smile was so infectious that she couldn’t help grin back. This was a fellow soldier. A comrade.

“I’m Uraraka Ochako.”

After a very excited “Midoriya Izuku” came out, she straightened her back, looking him right in the eye before breaking into laughter. She couldn’t help it. Something about this boy made her want to snatch him up and rob a bank.

It was just that kind of vibe.

Smacking her hands towards her mouth to muffle her laughter, she playfully punched his knee.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s kick some robot ass!” That seemed to bring out a reaction from him as he snorted, and that was all the warning she got before being scooped into a piggyback ride and now being gifted with transportation that could outrun a car.

For the rest of the entrance exam, fellow examiners watched in horrified amusement as the green haired heartthrob that singlehandedly saved their lives ran around screaming while the girl on his back tapped every robot she could find, floating them high in the sky before connecting her fingers, both teens cackling like possessed spirits as everything around them exploded.

All in all, it was a good day.

***

When Izuku came out from the gates of U.A. equipped with a notebook full of mechanical secrets, a few gummies and an autograph from Recovery Girl (theRecoveryGirlohmygoshsocool), and most importantly, in his opinion, Uraraka’s contact information in his phone, he felt like he could bitch slap Endeavour and get away with it.

Probably.

He was snapped out of his mumbling when he felt himself hit something very solid and warm and definitely not a wall.

Eraserhead’s unimpressed expression met his and he choked on air. “I didn’t do anything illegal!”

The underground hero blinked slowly, before muttering something that sounded like a ‘yet’. Izuku decided to ignore that.

“Is there a reason why you’re-” He gestured vaguely at the man.

Eraserhead’s unsettling smile made its appearance, all teeth and a perfectly shaped semicircle. “Congratulations, kid.” He drawled because of course this man who ran off vodka and coffee as life substance couldn’t speak normally. “You somehow made the entire body of U.A, students and teachers alike, fall in love with you and fight over custody rights.” He shot a quick look down at the reddening boy and gave a smug look. “I won, of course.”

A muffled scream came out of his mouth before Izuku burst into stutters and nervous laughter to cover up the urge to seep into the void.

***

@RedHeadWithAChainsaw

Was it just me or did anyone else get pulled to safety by a green haired greek god???

#UA’s cryptid #UA entrance exam #i was just minding my own business when a cutie just casually saved my life i

@that_one_sniper_hoe

bitch me too the fuck

#UA entrance exam #UA’s cryptid #he’s rlly hot wtf #i think I cried smh

@ilovepepe

Tag yourself im gay  

#UA entrance exam #UA’s cryptid #mom i just had my gay awakening what do I dO

@We Bully Newton’s Law Here

Lmao speak for yourself i just met my cash-money soulmate

#UA entrance exam #UA’s cryptid #broccoli is love #broccoli is life #they say if you sacrifice robot heads to the cryptid next year you will pass the vibe check

***

The next day, Izuku realized he was trending as UA’s cryptid in 7 different platforms.

He had a cult following who sacrificed robot heads to an altar with a gold statue of a broccoli.

Izuku sighed and went back to bed, but not before throwing his phone out of the window.