Chapter Text
Love was in the air. Louis couldn't hold back the jitteryness he felt when Harry rang the doorbell.
It's like, all this time he spent so afraid of dating anyone was suddenly now. He's feeling something new now, he's experiencing what he felt when he was in middleschool crushing on whoever. It's that crush feeling he gets.
He blew Harry off a while back, sure, but he missed him since. He misses the faces he makes when he's nervous, his curly hair and pale skin...he was on his mind all the time.
When he saw Harry at the door, he was dumbstruck.
He felt stupid saying saying hello and not being able to hold back a smile.
He felt stupid when Harry opened the door for him and they drove off together.
He felt stupid when they walked inside a restaurant together, and everyone stared at them.
It was stupid of him to play Harry the way he did. But was he going to let the guilt get the best of him? Probably.
The two sat down in a Coffee shop in London, Tottenham Court Road. As if it wasn't bad enough walking together down the street—the shop had big open windows.
He counted at least nine girls who noticed him through the window and started freaking out. Luckily none of them were brave enough to come over; Louis was already feeling awkward enough.
Louis could feel blush on his cheeks, and for once, he was shy around Harry. He couldn't maintain eye contact, and his breathing was faster.
When the Prince of fucking England asked what Louis Tomlinson wanted, he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Harry's voice was so low and soothing that it could stop wars and cure cancers.
When Harry, the Prince of motherfucking-England laughed when Louis Tomlinson said he wanted 'liquid', he stopped thinking. He just stared and tried to give off a fake little laugh, when really, he had no idea what the fuck was going on. He was just entranced in the idea that this man was very into him. Very, very into him.
Once they both had their coffee's, Harry did the talking for once. It was like—things were going to be different. Louis felt it in his gut. He didn't know how in the hell this man was still sitting in front of him, or how he got this chance, but he felt something.
Things carried off into talks about his Grandmother, his school, Louis' life and just things in general. They got to the point were the two of them had been there for two hours, now laughing over something that happened with a chair.
"Listen—listen," Harry said, trying to stop giggling.
Louis made a face at Harry, trying to hold back a smile.
"Stop-p-p," Harry whined, pushing Louis' hands on the table to emphasize.
"Okay, okay." Louis smiled. "Go head'. What're saying?"
Harry took a deep breathe and made a very serious expression. It was so serious that Louis actually thought it was another joke.
"You're such a dickhead," Louis laughed, slapping Harry's arm.
"No, really, Louis," Harry said, his expression still standing, "don't goof around for a second, please? I need to ask you something."
Louis' face kinda dropped. This was unexpected. But was it unexpected to a point that it was ruining the mood? It was definitely back-tracking their whole conversation. Louis thought they passed the dramatic stuff after the grandmother-conversation.
"Okay." Louis said, nodding.
Harry looked at the handle of his coffee mug that he was playing with, then looked back at Louis deeply. His head sort of tilted, and a small curve in the right side of his lip happened. Louis was trying his hardest not to look away.
"Do you...ever wish you could change something?" Harry asked, looking at Louis still.
"Change something?" Louis repeated, keeping a plastic face, trying not to scrunch his nose.
"Like, the past. Or the future—if you had the means to do so?"
Louis took a gulp of his drink. What the fuck could he ever change? He's just a library boy.
"Can you put that into perspective?" Louis intoned. "What kind of thing are we changing here?"
"Put it into perspective, um," Harry repeated, "well, I don't mean the world. If you can't change the world, what can you? I mean—whatever you have control over in your life, would you have done it differently, or make a difference now?"
"Huh...," Louis hummed, putting a fist under his cheek to rest it on.
Louis had no idea what he was doing to Harry. He looked so cute in his thinking position.
But really, this was something Louis couldn't comprehend. Because honestly—Louis felt that his whole life sucked ass. Everything about his life bothered him.
Maybe he would change the fact that he's piss poor, or that he needs new clothes, a better job... oh! Maybe giant library? New parents would be nice, the fact that he treated Harry like shi—oh. There it was. His guilt came flooding back.
If he could make a difference now, would he do it?
"So...if I can change something about my life, would I?" Louis continued slowly.
"Would you?" Harry breathed, looking at Louis with hope.
"Always."