Chapter Text
Flashback 10 Days Ago
Minutes after Naruto storms out of Kakashi’s office
Madam Shijimi had a sly smile painted on her lips as she let go of her beloved Tora-chan. “Tora-chan, why don’t you get me Uzumaki-san, hm? I’ll be at the guest house for now.” Madam Shijimi had planned to talk to the Hokage or even to Naruto directly about her husband and son’s proposal. But she supposed this would be better. She’s heard that Uzumaki-san took on some unconventional training while in Cha no Kuni with Jiraiya-sama. She sort-of misses that man, he appreciates mature women as well, despite his usual preference of younger women. Not that she enjoyed any indiscretions with the self-proclaimed pervert, she had an image to maintain after all.
Naruto decided to roof-hop while sulking. It wouldn’t do for the people to see her being miserable. At least this way, people think she’s just busy. When she was about to jump to the next roof, she heard a loud yowl and screech followed by sounds of a scuffle. Peering to the side of the building, she saw some alley cats cornering a much fatter cat. A cat with a distinctive ribbon on its ear.
Tora, the demon cat which every genin squad feared.
Naruto sensed the village didn’t have a Tora Retrieval mission active at that moment. Which meant, that the poor cat was about to get mauled by the other alley cats. There is no love lost between Tora and Naruto as she had been scratched by the cat too many times to count while running D-Ranks. But Naruto guesses that she should be more polite to her potential future mother-in-law, and that included saving Tora from being bullied.
Jumping down and startling the alley cats, Naruto scooped up the well-fed cat and jumped away as soon as possible. While she knew that Tora could be vicious, she didn’t know if the alley cats would be nice or be just as vicious. Cradling the often-spoiled cat she sent it a deadpan glare as it started cleaning its paws by licking itself. “Spoiled little thing you are. What are you doing in that alley? You can’t fight alley cats; your owner would have a fit if you’re hurt.” Tora just meowed and purred into Naruto’s gentle hold. “Come on, spoiled one, let’s find your owner.”
With Naruto’s enhanced sensor abilities, she was able to sense that the wife of the Fire Daimyo was at their usual guest house in Konoha. Naruto sped up and got to the guest house where an armed guard looked at her warily. Raising Tora up as a sign of peace she grinned at the guards. “I found Tora-chan messing around with some alley cats. Didn’t want her to get hurt so here she is.” A woman from inside the house stepped out and bowed slightly to Naruto. “Uzumaki-sama, Shijimi-sama would like to speak to you.” Naruto followed after the lady as she started back into the guest house. The blond kunoichi cradled the unusually docile cat in her arms.
The moment the sliding door opened to the room Madam Shijimi waited for them, Tora jumped out of Naruto’s hold and sat on the cushion beside the Daimyo’s wife. “Ah, Uzumaki-chan. Sit, sit! I was about to head towards the administration building to file for the usual mission. Thank you for bringing Tora-chan back.” Madam Shijimi offered a wide, closed-eyed smile to Naruto.
She felt a shiver wrack her frame as Madam Shijimi’s smile reminded her of a certain maestra that she studied under while in Cha no Kuni. “I’m so glad to finally meet the fiancée of my darling Hirohito. He’s our eldest son, you know. We’ve had multiple girls but he’s our first boy. He’s next in line to be the Fire Daimyo if he works hard. Oh, it was such a joy that our Hirohito found love so early. Matchmaking can be so tedious, Uzumaki-san. Why, Lord Suzaku’s engagement with that foreigner Rurushu almost ended his line! Ah, but true love conquers all.” Shijimi took on a dreamy look and flicked her fan open to cover her face and giggle.
Naruto’s face was a bit strained at the mention of her future fiancée but smiled nonetheless at her prospective future mother-in-law. Madam Shijimi’s beady eyes took in the young blonde, and with a kind smile continued on her tirade. “And you don’t have anyone like that, do you? It would devastate dear Hirohito-chan if you’re in love with another. See, my son is quite the romantic. Having so many big sisters, he might as well see the damsel in distress archetype apply to him as well. That dear boy fell in love with your strength, but he clearly saw your beauty as well! Oh, but my dear boy is too much a romantic. His favorite stories are those with star-crossed lovers; two souls in love while one is bound to a third party. Oh, he always roots for the star-crossed lovers in the end. He cries when it doesn’t happen, that dear boy.”
As Naruto listened to Madam Shijimi’s ramblings, her eyes grew wider and wider as she listened. “Us civilians do so love those tragic romances. But we always root for true love. Oh, and going back to that, do you have a boyfriend dear? Well, I’m sure they’d understand; my son’s the heir of the seat of the Fire Daimyo. We don’t want things to get messy. Oh no, no indeed.”
Naruto puts on a strained smile as she answered, “No, Madam Shijimi. I… I don’t have anyone like that.” The Lady Wife of the Daimyo’s eyes sharpened for a second but returned to its normal beady stare. “Oh. Such a pity. All the better, I suppose. I almost forgot, you were apprenticed under that dear man, Jiraiya-sama, correct? Such a sad thing, to lose such a good man. He was a man of the arts, as I’m sure you know. I’ve gone on many recitals and performances where he also attended. Say, did he share the same passions with you?”
“Oh, I’ve had some trainings…” Naruto trailed off, she felt as though Madam Shijimi was trying to do something; but the lady wife of the Fire Daimyo was a bit too chaotic in sending her message. “Yes, yes. I’ve heard from Maestra Tsubame that she took on a very talented young lady at the behest of the late Jiraiya-sama. With the praise the maestra gushed about you, I’m sure you’re quite well trained, correct? Tsuba-chan did despair that you mixed old and new too much though. But we must all move with the times.”
A servant’s voice sounded over Madam Shijimi’s receiving room, “Mistress, we must leave soon for the capital. There are preparations to be done to receive Hirohito-sama’s bride. The Hokage has answered that everything will be finalized after the festival.”
“Oh? Truly, Uzumaki-chan. You should’ve told me that your Hokage already answered. Here I am lauding my Hirohito’s shining personality, when you’ve already accepted? Good. The court will continue to support Konoha through its progress then.” Madam Shijimi reached over and patted Naruto’s hand, subtly slipping a piece of paper into Naruto’s hand. Naruto felt the paper being passed to her but couldn’t ask further as the lady had already left her alone in the receiving room.
Deciding not to read whatever letter she was slipped yet; Naruto left the now empty estate. The caravan of the lady wife of the Daimyo was already far up the road and towards the gate. Feeling like she shouldn’t read the note in her hand in public; Naruto returned to her apartment and read the paper passed to her. Upon finishing reading the paper, Naruto started giggling until she was full on laughing hysterically.
Oh, she was dense. So very dense! Madam Shijimi had her own machinations for her eldest son’s engagement and her husband and son had ruined it. Naruto was basically handled a kunoichi mission to break Hirohito’s heart, in any way she deems right. Naruto also remembered that Madam Shijimi mentioned Maestra Tsubame. Naruto trained under Maestra Tsubame as a musician… a singer, an artist… a performer! Jiraiya thought that only knowing shinobi skills was a waste for a kunoichi. Since Naruto wasn’t truly trained as a traditional kunoichi and seduction … she should have an alternative. Oh, she could be sexy; her oiroke no jutsu was a masterpiece of sexiness… but she sure as heck could never be seductive… in the long run, anyways. So, sexy and talented in performing was the way to go!
Performers, singers, musicians, even strippers could be a kunoichi’s cover in missions when they can’t be a seductress. It was her back-up skill that was non-shinobi related. Now, she just needed to contact Maestra Tsubame and get her opinion on what she would be performing. Thinking of the festival, it was the perfect chance too! She’s expected to show her face every day of the festival on stage. Why not add in a performance while she’s at it? It’s like a prank, only that it’s a mission from the wife of the Fire Daimyo.
This is going to be awesome-ttebayo!
It was past sunset when suddenly Kakashi’s office was barged into by a grinning Naruto.
The grin on his beloved student’s face sent a shiver up and down the spine of the hidden ANBU and Kakashi himself. He hadn’t seen that smile for years now. Naruto had slowed down pranking the village when she finally hit genin. Unfortunately, Konohamaru had quickly taken over Naruto’s pranking tendencies while the blonde was away training. Recently, both Konohamaru and Naruto had been quiet in the pranking front… Kakashi had feared if it was only the calm before the storm.
A knock on the already opened door brought Kakashi out of his prank-trauma-induced musings to see Shikamaru and Shikaku back in his office. Naruto quickly turned her head towards the two Nara men with the same mischievous smile plastered on her pretty face. Both Nara also feel the chill of imminent doom go up and down their spine just like Kakashi minutes before. “Yo, Shika-chan, Shikaku-occhan. You two here to help me out with my engagement problem?”
Both men looked to each other before closing the door behind them. They looked to the resigned expression on Kakashi’s face and then both faced the grinning blonde fully. “Naruto…” Shikamaru’s exasperated tone reached everyone’s ears. His friend would cause him to get grey hair prematurely, he just knows it.
Naruto just laughs and sits on the available seat in front of her jounin-sensei turned Hokage. “So yeah. My letter sent by the council goons basically told me if I don’t get married to the princeling, I don’t get the hat. What they don’t know is that I know even if I marry the prince, I’m still not getting the hat because I’d be moving out of Konoha and into the court, right? Well, guess what? I… have a plan.”
Naruto leaned forward and placed the folded piece of paper on Kakashi’s desk. When Kakashi opened it, he was surprised that it was a filled-out shinobi mission request form. Specifically, it was a kunoichi mission request form; asking Konoha to try their best to break the engagement between Uzumaki Naruto and the eldest son of the Fire Daimyo. It was signed and to be paid by Madam Shijimi. Though it specifically requested Naruto to do it and to lead the mission. Kakashi stared at his erstwhile knuckleheaded student and started wondering what his bumbling student was up to.
The Nara men inside the room with them shared a glance then focused on the form, that Kakashi put down, for them to see. “That’s… a mission request form… for the Kunoichi variety. Is someone requesting the Daimyo’s son to be killed?” If so, Shikamaru didn’t have to go through the rather hare-brained plot they thought was their only choice.
“No… because that would be treason. No matter if it was requested of us by the same court’s family.” Kakashi drawled, dry as a dessert. “Here; have a gander.” The Hokage offered the completed form to the two other male shinobi in the room.
Naruto started giggling as one of her best friends and his father read through the request. Both men digested the information quickly and wide smiles were plastered on their usually stoic faces immediately. “This is perfect! The plan we came up with would perfectly align with Madam Shijimi’s request. And, this is legitimized, right, Hokage-sama? I went through today’s mission scrolls and I didn’t see this anywhere.” Shikamaru started out excited before his tone got suspicious.
Kakashi hummed and reached out his hand asking Shikamaru to hand the form over. Kakashi laid the paper flat on his desk and pressed a button that was out of everyone else’s view. The desk flashed a violet light for a few seconds before dying down immediately. There, on the form was a previously invisible seal, brightly glowing. “Yes, this is legitimate.” Looking up at his still grinning former student, he had to ask. “Did you receive this directly from Shiijmi-dono?”
Naruto just giggled and hummed her answer before turning to the two other men in the room. “So, what was your plan, Shika-kun, Shikaku-occhan?”
“Well, we thought I could fake being your boyfriend. That we have a serious relationship.” Shikamaru spoke up, blushing lightly and looking away from Naruto. Silence greeted them as Naruto didn’t speak up, Shikamaru turned and saw both his father and the Hokage stared wide-eyed at Naruto. That was when Shikamaru felt the depression cloud and righteous fury emanating from the blonde jinchuuriki. Turning to look fully at one of his best friends, Shikamaru was greeted by a sight of a silently enraged Naruto.
“Oy, Shikamaru… What about Temari, huh? Gaara’s practically my brother, now. And Temari is like a step-sister. Plus, why you, huh? Don’t tell me you’re as stupidly infatuated as all those idiots who’ve been sending proposals my way. Tell me, that’s not it or I’m going to wring you until you put your head back on straight.” Naruto’s voice was barely above a whisper as her eyes glowed eerily, a cloud of dark miasma shaded her background, and her long ponytailed hair started defying gravity all of a sudden.
Kakashi and Shikaku, both familiar with the famous Uzumaki temper via Uzumaki Kushina looked like they were ready to flee seeing the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero’s daughter taking after her mother spectacularly.
Shikamaru, on the other hand, had actually experienced Naruto’s rage before; when he, Kiba, and, surprisingly, Shino were being sexist little shits back in the academy. “O-oi! Calm down! You know Temari and I both called it quits last July. We’re not planning on ever getting back together, er, for now at least.”
This, at least, got Naruto’s hair start behaving normally again. But the dark cloud of miasma still bordered the slightly pacified but still enraged Uzumaki. “You’re really pretty and hot, you know that. You say that all the time. None of the guys would say that you aren’t. But it’s not about that. I’m the only one with the political backing to be your boyfriend so that the Daimyo would quit it.”
With that Naruto’s attitude suddenly flipped and with her eyes squinted she smiled widely at them. “Politics, huh? That’s rotten of you.” It was her fakest smile. The men in the office all offered a wince in sympathy. Politics were rotten and it couldn’t get worse when it came to Naruto.
From her fake smile, suddenly her expression morphed into her most mischievous expression once more, the one that promises trauma-inducing pranks are about to rain down on Konoha.
“Well! This works with my plan too, kinda. You don’t need to pretend to be my boyfriend, Shika. I already have one.” This time it was Kakashi who suddenly had dark miasma surrounding him, he was actually sending out killing intent so potent that the ANBU stationed in the room became visible and stood in defense around the room. Two of the ANBU stepped up and removed their masks, revealing two of her teammates, Yamato and Sai.
“A boyfriend? Why, Naru-chan. You’ve not been hiding any boys from us, have you?” It was Yamato who spoke out, his face was set in his scary-mode. Sai’s smile was wide and slightly on the side of murderous. It was one thing to know that their Naruto was going to be forced to be married to the Daimyo’s son, it was another thing that Naruto was hiding a boyfriend from them.
Naruto watched her teammates and sensei react almost too violently, that she started giggling until her amusement devolved to outright hysterical laughter for the second time that day. This brought out her teammates from their internal homicidal rampage and staring at the crazy blonde, who’d slumped on the chair in laughter. By then, the ANBU excluding Sai and Yamato went back to their posts. The two Nara men, almost too used to the antics of Team 7 could only shake their heads in exasperation.
One could always count on Team 7 to keep the times interesting.
“Oh, your faces! This is too good!” The Uzumaki heiress kept laughing until she calmed down after a few minutes. She grinned at the obviously bewildered men in the room. “At least, that’s what I want Hirohito-kun to believe. That I am sooooo in love with my current boyfriend that I’ll be breaking my own heart to be with him for the sake of the Fire Daimyo’s continued patronage and support to Konoha. That I’m practically dying inside but that I’ll nonetheless accept his proposal.” With that statement, Naruto crossed her legs in a ladylike action as she waited for her Hokage, teammates, and the two Nara men’s reaction.
The men in the room thought over the plan. Similar enough to Shikamaru’s initial plan but with less risk. The only heartbreak that would happen will be the Daimyo’s son. “But is this going to work? How are we going to sell it?”
Naruto’s unleased a truly unholy grin that had the men sweating, unnerved.
“Trust me, it’ll work.”
Back to the Present
“Oh, Hirohito-sama being another of my lovestruck fans is true. The proposal is very real… but the rest was a mission… A mission to break the prince’s heart so that Madam Shijimi can have her way with her eledest son’s love life.” Naruto grinned cheekily at her friends.
Naruto’s friends saw that there was also palpable relief etched into her expression.
“So was your heartache and grief, it seems.” Sasuke spoke up from his position near Naruto. This pulled an embarrassed laugh from Naruto as she scratched her cheek.
“Oh, trust me, Sasuke-kun. It was all so very real. She wasn’t acting. I should know.” Ino called out. She was used to reading the nuances on Naruto. “You’ve never been good with hiding your grief, Naru-chan.” Naruto easily agreed with a sheepish smile.
Suddenly, Ino turned towards Shikamaru, pulling the shadow-nin’s ear to inflict pain. “And you! How could you lie, even to us! How were you even able to lie to me?! Of all people?!” Ino’s enraged voice captured everyone’s attention.
Shikamaru tenderly pulled his ear out of Ino’s painful grip. “Medokuse. The first few days I was probably as worried as Naruto… But more than that, I was holding my laughs. It was too hilarious. But it was a mission, I couldn’t expose her.” The lazy nin rubbed absently at his still stinging ear; though his answering grin towards Naruto also held his relief at what was happening at that moment.
Unable to bear her annoyance, Ino turned towards Naruto; her smile suddenly was encouraging. “But you’re also unable to stay sad. That’s something I’m glad about.”
“Well, I can’t say that I didn’t worry. Shika-chan's right, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to do it. And I didn’t… I was only able to do it half-way. The princeling knows that I never had a boyfriend.” Naruto finally stood up and dusted off the imaginary dirt off her.
“Let’s count it as a win, Naruto-san.” Shikaku spoke up from beside his team mates.
“But it was real, right? You can’t act Naru-chan. You were really hurt; we could see it” Tenten exclaimed with her exuberant teammate and sensei chiming in how unyouthful it was of her.
“Naruto-san, that day… while I’m not good with emotions myself. You are one of the most expressive and honest persons I’ve had the pleasure to meet. You were truly in pain that day, Naruto-san. I couldn’t help but think that maybe we, the village, had failed you once again.” Neji’s solemn tone next to his hyperactive teammate and sensei stood a stark contrast in the night sky. The distant sounds of the festival and the occasional firework being set off were just background noise to them right at that moment.
For a moment, there was a moment of confusion on Naruto’s face before it cleared up immediately. “I… I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it. I thought I wasn’t really selling it. That I wasn’t acting sad enough. I knew Hirohito had people spying on me. It was obvious I didn’t have a boyfriend; there wouldn’t have been grounds for the princeling to cancel the engagement.”
“So was that why you were breaking down earlier?” Sakura asked from beside Sasuke. She had wondered why, aside from the first rush of tears after her first performance, Sakura felt that Naruto was just holding back laughter or something.
“Ah, I just got overwhelmed with how sad everyone was. Kurama’s Negative Emotion Sensor powers are super strong. And like I… can also feel?” Naruto squinted as she tried to explain, “those emotions? I don’t know the word for it but what others feel I can feel too.”
“Empathy.” Hinata finally spoke up, and blushed when everyone’s attention turned towards her. “You’ve always been very empathetic with everyone… That means that you can feel their emotions as much as others do.”
Naruto nodded, sure that Hinata’s answer was right.
“And? If you don’t have a boyfriend, what were you thinking of then? You couldn’t have faked all that sad aura you’ve been giving off the past few days.” It was Kiba, scratching his head and looking confused. They all knew she was incapable of lying, especially with her emotions being always borne out to the world. So, what could have Naruto been thinking all that time?
“That’s right, you couldn’t have been empathizing when you sang about… what was it titled? Head Under Water? You said it was a love song and a call or help?” Tenten was still curious about that particular song choice.
“You guys really wanna know?” Naruto’s eyes twinkled with mischievousness. Her friends, teammates, and the witnessing clan and village leaders felt that they really shouldn’t ask… but they needed to know.
“… Yeah. Tell us.” Shikamaru was dreading her answer. He’d seen that same expression when she first told them about the plan. He hadn’t known what was cooking inside of her brain at that time, certainly not the daily performances she’d been doing.
Naruto’s pretty lips quirked up in a smug smirk. “Ramen.”
“Eh?” Everyone looked like their souls just escaped through their mouths.
“I kept thinking if I’m forced to be a noble… I can’t eat ramen all the time anymore! I’d have to be some dignified lady or something. And that caused me so much despair that I kept thinking about it to keep my gloomy aura!” Naruto grinned with her eyes closed. Knowing that the punch line of her greatest prank EVER was finally delivered.
And deliver it did.
First with Tsunade, holding up a fist, anger veins all over and grounding out. “Na. Ru. TO.”
With a cheeky salute, Naruto then turned tail and ran away from the Hokage Administration Building. She didn’t want the Baachan to destroy the building, there’s too much work to do already. She’ll let them chase her around instead.
Naruto’s bright and carefree laughter was heard all over the village as she was chased by her rather pissed off friends and family.
The End… or is it?
13 Years Later
Naruto was stuck in her office, reviewing paperwork. She’d been Hokage for two years now. After the little incident of the first anniversary of the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War, she began training her ass off. Firstly, by studying to be a better politician. Secondly, by learning more techniques to expand her base of techniques… Which were, at that time, sadly just Kage Bunshin and its variations, the Rasengan and its variations, Kawazu Kumite, Frog Summoning, Senjutsu, and her combination with Kurama. If she wanted to surpass all the other Hokage she had to learn more.
So, she studied and trained for 10 whole years while Kakashi held the seat for her. By the time she took the hat, officially she had been a Jounin of Konoha for a little more than three years. She even had a stint as a Black Ops ANBU during that time. In the end, all that time and effort wasn’t wasted as she was finally given the seat she’d been promised since the end of the war.
And one of the highlights of the years since that night and towards her rightful succession was that Kakashi was able to remove the then-current set of Konoha Civilian Council.
They did a recount of the number of Civilians and the number of shinobi, including pre-genin, and it seemed that Konoha was more of a shinobi village than a civilian one. They realized that there must have been a miscount the last time the census was done.
Probably by Danzo and his cohorts in the council. Now, the shinobi faction of the Konoha Council outnumbers the civilian by 10 seats. Each of the new Civilian Council was elected by their civilian populace in a more democratic approach. This led to the majority of the new Civilian Council to be of the younger generation and even retired shinobi who never got past genin. They were considered civilians because they weren’t active shinobi.
The last few years of Kakashi’s reign was peaceful because of it. And Naruto had an easier time being transitioned into the office too.
It was a bright afternoon sun that shone on her back, as she felt the chakra of her children running up to her office.
Naruto had a fond smile on her face as she felt her two kits pull their father along. It was noon and her kits always wanted to spend some time with her during the day so they always ate lunch together. No matter if it was in her office or out in one of the restaurants and cafes in the village. Of course, sometimes her husband was nice enough to pack them a picnic to go out.
But most of the time her lord husband, a prominent shinobi clan head in Konoha, doesn’t put much effort and rather spoiled their children and her as much as possible in the different restaurants of Konoha.
The door to her office banged open and in came her little rascals. Their children took after either of their parents. Her eldest boy took after his mother. Blond-haired and blue-eyed. While her daughter was black-haired and eyes like their father’s family. Both her children shouted, “Mama!” as they readied to pounce on her already standing figure.
“Ah, both of you, behave. Your mother has your newest sibling tucked in somewhere that orange monstrosity.” Even as her lord husband spoke, Naruto took up both her children into her arms. She was early enough on her third pregnancy that she had no problems with swollen ankles and aching backs yet.
“Careful, wife.” Her husband admonished. She stuck out a tongue at her lord husband, showing how immature she could still be. Her son also stuck out his tongue at his father and snuggled up to Naruto while her daughter reached out to be carried by her father.
“Of course, husband.” They shared fond smiles with each other causing her son to fake vomit on her shoulder. This caused a boisterous laugh to come out of her mouth.
“Ja, anata. Lead the way, where are we eating today?”
“I was thinking Ichiraku Ramen, you’ve not eaten there for a few days… And I won’t let you eat there for a few more months too.” At first, she was happy to hear that her lord husband is finally letting her eat the food of the gods. But then, her annoying husband just had to say it.
Ramen wasn’t healthy and if her past two pregnancies were any indication, she wouldn’t like the taste of ramen for a long while too. Why did her babies had to take after her husband’s tastes while she was pregnant… and even after they were born, they didn’t have the proclivity for the Uzumaki-gene Ramen obsession?
Speaking of, as they were walking down the building and to the streets, carrying their children. She was reminded of that night she pulled off her GREATEST PRANK EVER. And yes, it deserved to be capitalized… even if it was only in her head. Shut up Kurama, I don’t need your grumbling right now.
That day, she told them it was the loss of ramen that made her act so sad… it was only half the truth. The thing that really drove her back then was that she wouldn’t be the Hokage. If she’d failed that time, she would never be in the position she was now. The most powerful Kage in history, she’d need to go up against the other Kage in the Pure Lands to find out if her title had some merit, and a happily married wife and mother.
There was little to no words that could describe how happy she was now. Maybe in another life, she would have to have contented herself as the trophy wife of some noble, or heaven forbid, with a husband the Konoha Civilian Council picked for her.
Her lord husband noticed her thoughtful face and poked her sides, knowing she was ticklish. “Stop that.” Naruto whined as she squirmed holding her son who was babbling to his mom about what he’d do when he gets into the academy.
“Don’t think too much, you’re going to fry your remaining brain cells.” Her husband was so mean.
“Heh, you love me for it anyways.” She tried to tease back.
“Of course, I love you. Uzumaki Naruto, lost princess of Uzushiogakure no Sato, Goddess of Shinobi, Greatest Kage of all Time… the love of my life and the mother of my children.” Well, then.
“Shut up.” Naruto, 30 years old, mother of almost three, Jinchuuriki of Kurama the Kyuubi, Konoha’s Number One Most Unpredictable Shinobi blushed to high heavens as she buried her face on the crook of her son’s neck and walked faster to leave her annoying husband behind. Why, oh, why did she have to marry this annoying lazy-ass super bastard?