Chapter Text
The days following were a flurry of awkwardness for the two. Every time Rin had tried to get Bon alone to talk to him, the moment would be ruined by Godaiin being Godaiin. Who loudly insinuated that "Ren" wanted to proclaim his love for the other boy. To which Rin responded by tackling him to the floor before he could get to Bon.
Bon, on the other hand, was avoiding Faust. Not for his demon heritage. He avoided Faust because he felt terrible about the accident. Not to mention the chill he got down his back anytime he even looked in Faust's direction. These days it felt like he had a second shadow following his every move. Some mornings when he was out on his walk, he felt like he was being stalked liked prey. The paranoia got to the point where he did extra sutras anytime he left his dorm. He was putting new barriers around the doors and windows for extra measure.
Bon could've sworn he heard growling coming from the treeline the following day on his morning run. Things were starting to get weird. Hobgoblins started appearing around his dorm. It took an entire day to clean out the room and cleanse it properly. Koneko and Shima tore the room apart, looking for rotting things. After an hour of ransacking the room, they couldn't find anything. When he went to sleep that night, there was a light knocking at the window. Koneko and Shima were out getting food.
Bon was ninety percent sure the dorm was haunted at this point. However, since Mr. Okumura checked the room and found nothing, Bon doubted the dorm was haunted. Anytime he left his dorm, there was always a rustling sound nearby.
Something was following him that was the only explanation. If his dorm were haunted, then any phenomenon would end as soon as he left the dorm. Maybe a demon attached itself to him? If worst came to worst, he would have to ask one of the teachers for help.
Things couldn't get more boring for Rin. His body was constantly itchy, and the burns were slowly healing. How could humans live with such a slow healing rate?!
To make matters worse, anytime Rin would glance in Bon's direction, he would run the other way! Or they were constantly being interrupted. It was so frustrating at this point. Rin wasn't a patient person, and this was taking way too long for a stupid talk.
After a long day of classes and pretending to catch up, he finally managed to corner Bon in the cafeteria. Walking up to the table, Rin slammed his hands on the table. Startling Koneko and Shima.
"Dude, we need to talk!"
Bon furrowed his brows, "Now's not the time, we're in the middle of lunch!"
Rin looked around and noticed people staring at him, "Like I give a flying fuck! You have been avoiding me!"
Bon pushed his seat back and got up quickly, trying to leave. Rin blocked his path, "Nuh-uh, I'm done waiting for you to talk to me! So we are going to talk now, or I am going to scream!"
"Dude, just go talk to your boyfriend already, its getting kinda emabarrasing how obvious you two are being."
"Shima!" Koneko complained, elbowing him in the side.
"It's true! Look how obvious they are being! Its practically a lovers quarrel!"
Bon's face was getting redder by the second. It only intensified when Shima began going into details about how they have been eye fucking the entire school year.
Rin just stood there entirely confused- humans were weird. How could eyes be used to mate? He tried grabbing for Bon's arm to drag him away when there was a crash.
"Shima shut up!"
"So, you do not deny you like him."
"Fuck off!" Bon practically growled. "Why would I ever date someone like him!"
Rin furrowed his brow. Rin's heart skipped a beat at that and began to hurt a little. Rin figured since Bon talked with Mephisto, though he doesn't know what was said. Rin was pretty sure Mephisto spilled the beans. The white-haired teen just wanted to explain himself. Rin knew Bon was skittish around him, but he didn't realize it was because he hated him for being a demon.
"Well fuck you too! I just needed to talk to you! IF this is how you're gonna be then just forget it!"
Bon looked shocked after he realized what he said. He tried to say something to apologize, but Godaiin stepped in to stop him. Taking Rin by the arm, he walked him out of the cafeteria.
Bon sat down and put his head down. "Fuck." That's not what he meant to say.
"WEll," Shima clapped, "if you had a chance to be his boyfriend before its probably gone now."
That alone earned a kick from Bon.
Godaiin helped rin to his next class after that fiasco. He bumped Rin's shoulder, "Don't listen to that guy! You can find a way better dude than him!"
"That's not it, I just needed to talk to him. This is getting harder than it needs to be!"
Godaiin shrugged, "I get it if you want to confess to him or whatever-"
"Confess?"
"Yeah, you got a crush on him don't you?"
"A crush?? What's that???"
It was Godaiin's turn to be confused, "You know a crush? When you have feelings for someone?"
"Feelings?" Rin tried thinking of feelings he could pinpoint, "Like rupulshion? Or anger?" Those were the only feelings he can name when it came to others. IF he had any other feelings for people, it would be things he couldn't quite place.
"What?! No! Like romantic ones! You know when you like someone and you want to hug them or kiss them? Or go out on dates with them."
"Like courtship?"
"Dude, who even uses words lke that anymore? Not that serious man."
"I mean I don't feel complete anger and repulshion for most my brothers. And I hug my brothers- is that what you mean? Like that?? " Humans have too many terms for simple things! And by god Rin was so fucking confused right now!
Godaiin nearly had a stroke, "I sure fucking hope you don't like them like that! That's gross! I mean a person you're not related to! Like a friend, or cute classmate!"
"So like you?"
"I appreciate the sentiment my bro, but not quite." Being defeated by the fact that his friend was emotionally inept, Godaiin dug into his bag. "This is called a manga- its a book with pictures. I want you to read this and then come back to me with your questions. Because I 100% do not get how you do not get what I'm talking about right now."
Rin looked down at the colorful book with black and white pages. It had flowery language and characters with sparkly eyes.
"Just trust me on this dude. I'm like this close to thinking you are emotionally unstable if the only feelings towards people you have or can name are anger and repulsion."
"HEY!"
Godaiin shrugged his shoulders, "What I'm just saying!"
In class, Rin was barely paying attention to whatever his supposed twin was saying. Something about a training camp at an abandoned dorm, ya-da-ya-da... Rin had spent most of his school day ditching class and reading that book Godaiin had lent him. Apparently, dating was pretty similar to courtship.
Rin had spent most of the day skipping classes tracking down more of the books to the series. It was an older series, and the pages were turning brown from age. At first, the situations the main character was getting in seemed so absurd. The longer he read, the more invested in the story he got. The main character was a prodigy at the top of her class. It started as a story of rivalry and turned into something more profound. It wasn't the main character he connected with, but the love interest. He was a quiet guy forced to be the best by the expectations of his family. Living life with the burden of who his FatherFather was, trying to find happiness despite the struggle. Fighting his way to be better than his predecessors, haunted by the fact that he didn't know who he was outside of the expectations others had of him.
Imposter syndrome, they called it.
Rin understood what he was going through. Rin didn't know who he was. Rin lived his life expected to be a puppet, a general, a king, and a monster of mass destruction. There were days when Rin was a blood-thirsty monster who could rip the guts of just about any demon in his vicinity. The next day he would lock himself up in a cage, ashamed of his actions. There were days where he would wander until given the following order for execution. Rin grew up to be the perfect weapon, with no emotions. At least that's how it was supposed to be. Even if he was a full demon, he also had a human heart.
Rin wished life was as easy as the characters in the book had it. He, of course, had more at stake than losing friends or not knowing who he could become. In another life, that's all Rin would have to worry about. Good grades, friends, and having a "crush" on someone who seems unattainable. In this world, his life was at stake. People were after him. More would come for his head if they knew what he was. He was born to be a weapon of mass destruction, a vessel to be disposed of sooner or later.
By the fifteenth book in the series, Rin understood what Godaiin was talking about when it came to "crushes" and "liking people." Maybe he did feel something for Bon, but it's not like he would even care. IF he ever found out about what Rin was, he would probably be reported immediately and executed. Rin was unlovable, except for his brothers. Even then, his bothers only bothered with him because they were forced to or needed something from him. Maybe he related to the love interest a little too much.
As soon as the bell rang to dismiss them for the day, Bon was on his way to Rin's desk. Rin noticing this tried to grab his stuff and run for the door.
Bon caught his wrist before he could get past his desk, "We need to talk."
Bon took the last few days to think about what he said. There was hardly any reason for him to get so worked up over what Shima had said. And there certainly was not a reason to say what he did. It was a lie, Bon was head over heels for Rin. He admired the other teen and felt something for him. He didn't want to mess things up with him further.
Rin furrowed his brow, "Just leave me alone-," he pulled his wrist away. "You made it pretty clear what your opinion of me was."
Bon, who was blushing, rolled his eyes, "Can we talk about this somewhere el-"
"Knock-KNock!"
Fuck!
Rin knew that obnoxious voice anywhere! It was that damned Paladin again! Compared to being around his murderer, talking to Bon seemed like a better idea.
"Oh, Faust! Good, you're still here!"
"What do ya want old fart?"
"HA! Yukio did you hear what he just called me?!" He put his arm on Rin's shoulders, keeping him from running off, "How about dinner tonight?"
"No offense old-timer, but you are so not my type."
"HA! You're like 40 years too young for me, kid!"
Rin blushed rolled his eyes, "Go awayyy!"
"Yuki! Your students being mean to me! Punish him!?"
Yukio sighed heavily, "Its after hours, and I'm off the clock. If you want to pay me for overtime than sure."
Rin looked at his unknowing twin, "TRAITOR!"
(A/N- not the only time this will be said... lol)
"Come on! I know a great place around campus."
Rin was too tired for this shit! He still felt like crap from the holy water incident, and he was too sluggish to hang around his murderer. Not to mention dealing with Bon and his assholery.
Shiro tried to put his hand on Rin's shoulder. Before he could, Rin immediately smacked his hand away.
" Don't touch me!" he growled out, his fangs showing threateningly.
Rin straightened up, realizing he may have used a bit more force than he wanted, and bolted for the door. It was too exhausting being around people. Before he could get to the end of the hallway, Shiro had caught his arm.
"I think we need to talk."
Shiro was not a good man- he tried to be. He lived his life trying to make up for mistakes he made as a younger man. Age was not an excuse for what he did. Nothing could ever excuse what he's done. The promises he's broken in the supposed name of justice. What justice was there in murdering a child that had the misfortune of being born to a wicked father?
Hatred and fear were easy to spot, especially in his line of work. Anytime the younger Faust was in his presence, he could practically see him going on the defense. It was in the little things. The way his eyes would sweep over any given vicinity looking for possible exits, flinching at the slightest movements, always eyeing his holster.
Nothing made sense to Shiro. Ren wasn't this defensive with the other teachers or even Yukio. Maybe he didn't deem them threats enough to focus on? No, that wouldn't make sense. There were moments when Ren would get quiet, very quiet staring at him. Like he was reliving a flashback. When he finally gets shaken out of it, he quickly makes excuses to leave.
This was concerning for many reasons. Shiro was the Paladin, a protector of humanity, and this teenager was afraid of him. Shiro could understand being fearful of exorcists for many reasons. The kid's upbringing and not to mention the murder of his mother were apparent reasons to distrust all exorcists. But Shiro? Maybe with his demon heritage, he could see all the sins and blood on his hands.
Whatever the reason, Shiro would try to prove himself to the kid. He looked so lost and alone. Having Mephisto as his only "relative" must've been hard. For all Shiro knew, maybe he was just an orphan Mephisto picked up somewhere and took pity on... Scratch that. The only reason he would do that would be to gain another pawn for his games.
It bothered Shiro that Mephisto would put Ren in such a situation. No one should be used like a pawn, especially not a kid like Ren. HAlf-demon or not, Shiro could tell the kid had a good sense of justice. Maybe it bothered Shiro so much because he saw himself every time he looked in Ren's face. Shiro had no one, born as a living test subject. If Shiro didn't have yuri, he was sure he would've become the mindless soldier Mephisto was hoping to create.
Shiro was going to save Ren from that life. Maybe he wasn't there to stop it before, but he could at least give him the option to get out of a life of being a soldier.
Rin was quiet the entire time, he just wanted to get away from this guy. At first, he wanted to know what kind of man would kill a baby, sending him to hell. Then he saw a life that he could've lived if he was just born without those damn flames. He could spend his days reading dumb books at the table or cooking in that tiny kitchen. Just normal. No demons, no fighting. Just- Just existing.
Rin walked circles around the old priest, trying to find any trace that this man was really as evil and vile as he chalked him up to be growing up. Only an absolute monster would deny a dying woman her last wish to keep her sons together and alive. Instead, he stabbed a sword through his heart with no emotion on his face.
It was days like this when he missed his youth. Days where he would go on entire rampages destroying landscapes burning them to the ground, pulling out the hearts of those his FatherFather told him were guilty of unforgivable crimes. He missed being able to bathe in blood to forget he even had consciousness.
When they finally made it to the monastery gates, Rin waited outside the gate, staring at it.
Shiro stopped, "Come on, I already took the wards down the other day."
"I don't want to be here." Rin turned on his heel to leave.
"Why? Am I really that bad to keep company with?"
Rin crossed his arms, "I don't need a reason! I don't want to be around you! Why can't you take a fucking hint! I'm so tired of these damn games of yours!"
"My games! What are you talking about?"
"What do you even want from me? Im just some half-breed demon. I'm of no use to you! IF it's information on Mephisto, you're more likely to know more than I do! I am useless to you!"
Shiro stood there a little shocked, "You don't have to be of use to me for me to want to be around you? What kind of shit did that clown put in your head to think you need to be of use to someone to be wanted?"
"Oh fuck off! No one does anything without wanting something in return."
"You're just a kid. You don't need to have a use to live or be wanted!"
"Bullshit!" Rin pointed his finger into Shiro's chest, "That's just a lie humans tell each other! Everyone has a use for something- relationships are based on usefulness! Demons use each other for power and protection. Humans use each other to forget about the loneliness of existence, to have a purpose of continuing living tiny lives in this gods forsaken world!"
"Whats wrong with that? Whats wrong with trying to find a purpose in someone? Whats wrong with having hope in your fellow man?"
"Man is mortal! You all die like flies. Your sun boils you alive day by day, planting the idea of cancers into your skin! And no one bats an eye. There is no point in having hope in someone who is going to die from something as simple as a frail heart."
It was at that moment that Shiro saw a glimpse of the kid in front of him. Ren's twisted his head in such a way that he saw no hope in anything because he was afraid of losing it. Maybe he had already lost it so many years ago alone on his own. He was living in fear of both man and beast alike.
"You're right. Man is a fragile species, but it survived this far, hasn't it? After thousands of years, after every catastrophe and plague they survived." He shrugged, "Yeah, they can die from minor accidents. Those last moments are filled with memories that made living worth it. Days can be short, and nights can be so long . But people are still here." Shiro placed a hand on Rin's shoulder, "There is no shame in finding hope in another, especially when you've gone without it for so long."
"I don't need hope! I don't need anyone!" Rin covered his ears, not wanting to hear anything else the old priest was saying.
"Yes, you do! You look so lost living up to whatever Mephisto has planned for you. You're a teenager, you shouldn't have to be burdened with whatever that clown has in store for you!"
"What am I supposed to do shiro! You don't know who or what I am!" Rin gripped his hair, "You don't know what I am capable of! You don't know what I've done to live this far!"
"You're right, I don't know what you've been through in your life. But I know you shouldn't have to carry that burden alone! You're not even sixteen years old yet! You don't need to have a use to be loved, you can just be loved for being you."
Rin shrugged off Shiro's hand. He looked down at his hands. For a second, he could see blood on them. For a second, he could hear the screams and cries of agony at his hand. Rin could feel the cold stare of this FatherFather looking down at him as he handed out executions. Closing his eyes, he could hear Godaiin's laughter at the restaurant. Shima and Bon arguing. He could see Bon's face scrunched up and adorable when he's frustrated. He didn't know who he was. He was whatever anyone wanted him to be. His friends wanted him to be an average teenager, but his family wanted him to be a monster. When he looked in the mirror for longer than a glance, he could never recognize the face staring back at him. No matter how hard he tried.
Rin looked up to Shiro. His face was so broken and fragile, Rin's eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears. "I-I don't even know who I am though. H-HOw could some-someone love me? Look at me Shiro. I-I don't know who I a-"
Two strong arms quickly closed in on him. Rin straightened up and fought the urge to claw at him. "You don't need to know that! You're a teenager you have a long life ahead of you to figure that out. It's ok, we can figure it out together."
Rin sank to the ground. He was so tired- so fucking tired. He just wanted to sleep forever and forget about existence. Why was it so painful? Why did anyone want to live with such emotions? Is this why Mephisto deflects emotions with fake humor? Is this why Amaimon is so emotionless and apathetic to the world? Because living for so long with these emotions was too draining and impossible?
"Let's go inside, 'kay?"
Rin nodded his head, unsure of how to feel anymore. He just wanted to be warm again. He just wanted to have warm meals around that tiny kitchen again. That little family filled the small kitchen with laughter and useless talk about the weather. It was a warmth he may never experience ever again.
"Here, I'll make some tea." Shiro walked into the kitchen, sitting him down on the couch in the common area. He busied himself with the cups as he waited for the water to heat.
Rin sat there a bit too quiet for a teenager. Shiro turned around and saw that he practically passed out on the couch. His head in his arms. A seemingly pained look on his face. Shiro's face softened, running a hand through white locks. This kid reminded him of how he was when he was this age. So much so that it scared him.
Rin's face evened out a bit.
At least they were making progress. If he could help it, Shiro would put an end to the cycle of child soldiers Mephisto was so hell-bent on creating.
The next couple of days, Rin went about his days in completely out of it. He wasn't quite connected to the world physically. He just existed. It was days like this when he missed Amaimon's annoying presence.
The whole class was clambering on about the study camp or whatever. Honestly, Rin didn't give a crap about this stuff. It was all shit he already knew, not to mention most of the info was actually wrong.
What was bothering Rin at the moment was the fact that weird eyebrows were practically bullying Shiemi! That girl was way too nice for her own good. Seriously he needed to keep an eye out for that girl.
Izumo and pakku were standing by the door, waiting for the teacher to let them into the run-down dorms. "Here, carry my stuff, its gettting heavy."
"Sure!" Izumo practically threw her stuff at Shiemi, making the girl almost fall over, "Ooof-"
Rin steadied Shiemi and grabbed the bags,"She's not your packmull!" Throwing the bag at Izumo.
"UGH! Just leave it alone! Its fine, she likes holding our bags anyways!"
"F-faust! It's fine! I'm just helping my friend!"
"See!"
Sure, Rin wasn't raised in the human world. Sure, he didn't understand a lot about human culture. That didn't mean he couldn't tell when someone was being taken advantage of.
"You are such a pathetic little thing, using your friends to do your petty chores!"
"YOU MOTHE-"
"ALRIGHT! That's enough! Kamiki carry your own items! Faust no reason you should be instigating a fight!"
"She started it!"
"I don't care! All of you will begin this session with one hour of reflection!"
The hour was nearly over, with the rocks on their laps steadily getting heavier.
"You should've kept your mouth shut!"
Rin gritted his teeth, "For what? So Kamiki can pretend Shiemi is a packmull?" The rock in his got heavier in his lap the angrier he got.
"Alright, now that you've had time to reflect, let's get the rooming situation controlled—girls towards one end of the hall, boys to the other."
"Come on Pakku lets go and set our stuff down before we shower."
Shiemi looked at her friends, "Oh! I'll come with you!"
Izumo's eyebrow twitched, "No, just me and Pakku. I'm super shy, you understand, right?"
"O-Oh, Okay."
Rin looked over while the other boys were trying to find suitable rooms. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even hear Yukio.
"Faust, did you hear me?"
He looked up, his eyes large, "Nope not a single word."
"You're rooming with Suguro got it."
Rin made a face, then clicked his tongue.
"You two are down the hall. I know Shima will be rooming with Konekamaru, but I still want those two closer to me."
Bon moved from his spot, "Come on. I need to talk to you anyways."
"I have nothing to say to you." Rin stalked off to a random room and claimed it. It was dusty, and the lights flickered slightly. He threw his bag on the bed, setting out his things.
Bon walked in, already dreading the night, "Well, I have a lot to say to you. Don't give me that look."
"You said you wanted nothing to do with someone like me! So just leave me alone!" Rin wanted to cry and shout, but there were others in the rooms over. It would be better if he cut things off with Bon now. Then he wouldn't have to worry about trivial things like love.
"Faust," Bon grabbed Rin's arm, "Listen to me. Hey," Bon grabbed Rin's face, earning a growl from him, "Look at me. You know that's not what I meant."
Rin wanted to melt into the grip but tried to hold fast to his anger. "Then what did you mean!"
Bon was exasperated at this point, "Faust, I-"
A scream filled the hall, and Rin immediately dashed for the sound. He could smell rotting blood- ghouls.
When he rushed into the bathroom, Kamiki was on the floor, and Pakku was passed out. Luckily, no one else had arrived. Rin bit his thumb and ran the blood across the seal on his left arm, summoning a weapon. One of his less flashy katana's, would do the trick.
"STAND DOWN!"
"We musstt serve our master. My prince we are sorryyy~."
Rin rolled his eyes, "Then repent and ask for my forgiveness by going back to gehenna!"
Rin ran straight for the largest one holding Kamiki and slashed at his arms. Kamiki collapsed, trying to catch her breath. Her familiars turned on her taunting her, Rin sent them a glare forcing them to submit.
"If you will not help leave!"
They disappeared quickly in a poof of smoke.
Yukio finally made it to the bathroom, "What happened!"
He quickly rushed to Pakku's side, trying to examine her injuries. Kamiki sat on the ground, obviously still in shock at the sudden appearance.
Rin walked over and covered her with a towel. "You did what you could."
"Don't pity me!"
"You're still learning, don't get upset that you got flustered. Pakku's gonna be ok. The sooner you get dressed- the sooner you can be by her side."
Rin walked out of the restroom spotting a cowering Shimei, "Hey, you're ok, right?" He got a nervous nod, "Then go and help four-eyes with Pakku. He's going to need a couple of herbs fresh for the antidote."
Shiemi nodded her head, determined with her new task.
Rin looked back at the scene, remembering the words the ghouls said. Who was their master? Not his FatherFather, right? Why would his FatherFather target ants to get to him? If he was going for someone close to him, why Kamiki and not Godaiin or Bon? Nah, his FatherFather would've sent Astaroth instead of low-level ghouls. He wasn't one to send lackeys to do his work.
Rin sat on the edge of his lumpy bed, wondering when his FatherFather would come for him again. There's no way he could ever go back willingly.
Bon made it back to the room to see Faust lying on his bed. The rest of the night was uneventful; Okumura-sensei was able to make the antidote. And everyone else passed out as soon as they learned she would be ok. Bon looked over at the other occupied bed. There was a lot he wanted to say to Faust. Not just that he was sorry about the holy water incident, but that he didn't care that he was a half-demon. Bon closed his eyes, hoping he would be able to talk to the white-haired teen in the morning.
-
There was groaning. Bon was usually a heavy sleeper, hefty. Sounds and other things hardly ever phased him. It sounded constrained, and he could hear whimpering, too. Bon shot up to see what was happening.
Looking over, Faust was lying in his bed, tossing and turning. It looked like his back was arching in uncomfortable angles. His breathing was becoming increasingly louder. It sounded like he was fighting something. His face looked awful and coated in sweat. Faust looked like he was fighting in his sleep.
Whatever it was, Bon couldn't sit there and watch it happen. Bon rushed to the other side of the small room, trying to stop Faust from hurting himself further. He grabbed his wrists and tried to call his name, "FAUST! Fa-"'
An angry clawed hand came to his throat, and glowing blue eyes glared down at him. His eyes were pin-pricks, different from usual. Bon could see flecks of red in those blue iris', it looked like a fire.
Bon grabbed at the hand around his throat, "F-Fau-st-"
Ren took a sniff at his prey, eyes narrowing. His nose was brushing against his neck, taking a sniff. His eyes widened, his hand loosened from Bon's throat. Scrambling to the corner of his bed, he tried to get away from bon. His breath was speeding up, his ears were ringing.
"R-Ren listen to me," Bon tried to scoot closer to the other, scared to spook him away further. "Are you ok?"
Rin looked up at him with wide eyes, his eyes were glazing over slightly. He whispered something under his breath.
"What are you saying?"
"AWAY!"
Rin tried to swat his arm at him, but Bon swiftly caught it. "Stop!"
Rin flinched at the harsh tone and whimpered slightly.
"S-Sorry," Bon tried to look at his eyes. He carefully put his finger under his chin, lifting his face, "H-Hey, are you ok?"
Rin's eyes went wide, and tears were threatening to spill over. He shook his head no. "W-Why do you care?!" He wanted to push him away, but he had a surprisingly firm grip on his hand.
"R-Ren, I'm sorry-" Bon looked down at their hands, "You look scared, I have never seen you so scared before."
"I-I'm not!" Rin looked away from him, his breathing was so shallow. "I-I'm fine!" Rin tried to swing at him, "Just go awa-"
Strong arms enveloped him in a hug, his breathing nearly stopped. Rin's eyes were wide as he tried to process what had just happened. "It's ok if you're not fine. You looked like you were in pain."
Rin furrowed his brows, "W-Why do you care!"
"Because you're my friend a-and I care about you."
Rin looked up from where his face was smashed against Bon's chest, "I'm a demon though."
Bon shrugged, "I know, Mephisto told me. MY monastery has plenty of half-demons, who cares who your parents were."
"You would care."
Bon furrowed his brows, "I seriously doubt I would care."
Bon looked down at the other teen. He looked resigned. As if he was expecting some kind of rejection from him. He wanted to hold his hand and calm him down with soothing words. Instead, Bon's hands slipped from Rin's back to his hands without knowing what he was doing—holding them delicately and with care.
Rin's eyes shot up to meet Bon's, who was looking at him with such care. "I don't care that you're a demon, Faust. It wasn't tough to figure out, the fangs, the slightly pointed ears."
Rin shook his head, breaking eye contact with Bon. Because Rin knew if Bon knew who his father was, what his father had done to the world. Rin was certain Bon would try to kill him on the spot. The thought was almost enough to send him spiraling. Tears had begun to drip from his eyes, collapsing to the ground. Bon's strong arms were the only thing keeping him standing, albeit barely.
Bon, not understanding Rin's inner turmoil, took this moment to stop asking questions. He could tell that Rin was on the verge of a panic attack. So instead of asking questions, Bon held onto Rin for a bit longer.
"Y-You'd care if you knew who he was-"
"You're not your father!"
Rin's eyes snapped open, looking at Bon's face, finding no lies. That was the first time he's heard that from anybody. For years he was always treated like his father's future replacement, treated as if he was Satan himself, by not just his subjects but his siblings too.
"You are not your dad. You may be his son, but that doesn't mean the things he's done are your fault. You didn't do the things he did. I don't know who your dad was, but I do know that you are a good person." Rin's eyes shot up. "Albeit a pretentious asshole, but a good person. The first rich person I've ever seen take up a job at a small dinner for fun—a guy who defends his friends when he needs to." Bon placed his hand on Rin's heart, "This is proof you're still human."
Rin was entirely speechless, he didn't know what to say. There was so much he wanted to tell Bon- to prove him wrong. IF he knew who his father he wouldn't say the things he's saying. He wouldn't be sitting here trying to comfort him. He would find the nearest exorcist to kill him. Or grab the Paladin. Or douse him in holy wa-
His brain completely stopped at the feeling of chapped plush lips against his own. It was soft and only lasted for a second. Bon's hand was resting on his cheek, cradling his head gently. His hand came up to wipe away stray tears.
"B-Bon?"
A huge blush erupted on Bon's face at what he had just done unknowingly. "S-shit, I'm- I'm sorr-"
Rn pounced onto Bon, pulling him into another kiss. Rin had seen humans use this gesture, but he never understood why. The feeling of intimacy made Rin's heart flutter. It was something he lacked in his life. This was the first time he's ever felt something so pure as a simple kiss. The kiss in itself only lasted a couple of seconds. Being in the small room, it felt longer.
Bon's eyes were wide. This was not how he wanted the talk to go, but goddamn, he sure enjoyed it. Coincidentally, this was also not how he wanted to tell Rin his feelings.
"Its ok." Rin raised a hand to Bon's face, "I'm not used to affection like that, again demon-"
"Half-demon-"
Rin smirked, "Half-demon. I'm not used to this feeling in my chest. I-I know humans do that t-to people they l-like, b-but its ok if you didn't mean it." Rin felt the dreads of doubt squeezing its way into his head."I understand if you didn't mean it and just wanted to calm me do-"
"Ren, I don't just kiss random people who are crying."
"Sure seems like it to me-"
Bon rolled his eyes, "Idiot, do I need to spell it out to you?" Rin furrowed his brows, tilting his head. Bon took rin's hands and placed them on his heart, "I. Like. You. It's why I got so defensive when Shima was being an idiot the other day."
That was all Rin needed to hear. He didn't need to be a demon to know he wasn't lying. Feeling the heartbeat beneath his fingertips was enough for rin to understand. There were too many emotions going through him. He felt almost overwhelmed with these new feelings. Rin wrapped his arms around Bon's middle and squeezed tightly.
"I-I don't know what these feelings are- Growing up I only had my brothers and even they weren't around much. I love them- most of them- but this feeling is so different. I don't know how to place it, but I think I like you too."
Bon lifted Rin's chin, "I-Its ok if you don't know what you're feeling. We can work through it." Bon placed a hand in soft white hair, "Let's head to sleep, yeah?"
Rin nodded his head, "Um, I don't think I can sleep on my own right now." Rin furrowed his brow thinking about the nightmare, "C-Can yo-"
"Yeah, I'll sleep in the bed with you."
Rin went to situate himself against the wall while Bon brought his blanket and pillow from the other bed. Bon threw out his arm, and Rin cuddled against his chest. It had been years since he was able to sleep feeling so secure like this.
There was a voice in the back of his head telling him to enjoy it while it lasts. It was cackling and loud. When Rin whimpered, Bon held on to him tighter, reassuring Rin that he would be there for him.
For now, Rin let the voice die down. He was instead focusing on the steady heartbeat of his sleeping partner.