Chapter Text
I never left the trading post so fast, clenching that poster in my hand so tight my knuckles hurt. This was not possible, there had to be a mistake!
I rub my hand over my face, clenching my eyes. It was mixed identity, had to be, that was not Madeline. I look back down at it, eyes wide and brows furrowed, it couldn't be Maddie...but it looked like Maddie. But it couldn't be.
It couldn't be.
No,Madeline had parents, they owned a store- they lived in Boston, she- she told me this. Right? Couldn't be her...right? The princess' face was still cherubic and young, cheeks soft and eyes doe-like, she was...around five, but that made no sense. If this was to be said true, then Maddie wasn't 24, she was younger.
Oh this was giving me a headache.
I shake my head, rushing to Persephone- flinching whenever someone walks past me, fearing they somehow knew of my suspicions. But of course no one did, no one could read minds. Persephone looked up from the ground, ears perked up, she sensed my unease, I shoved the paper inside my vest, breathing through my mouth as I pulled the reins back. "It's fine,I'm fine Perse."
I was not fine.
How was I to--how could i--there--no. Okay,pause. I place my hands on Persephone's body and tilt my head down, closing my eyes, let me go back and try to wrap my head around all of this: Madeline was not Madeline- probably- she was the lost princess. The lost princes whose poster had been up for YEARS in this very spot.
She did come with me to this place, so- that-no, the shopkeeper said that only now they drew what she was supposed to look like so it'd make sense if she WAS the princess, no one identified her. Oh...oh no. What if it does happen? What if someone identifies Maddie? What if-
What if Dutch finds out?
My blood runs cold.
What if Micah finds out?
My knuckles hurt from clenching my hands so hard, my forehead pressing on the saddle for some sort of comfort against the pressure pushing up my skull. What...do I do? Who do I talk to about this? Maddie? How do I bring this up to Maddie???'Hey,so are you the lost princess? Cause I found this pamphlet and golly it looks like you!'
The implications are also...bad. Were the Kowalkis' involved? Oh God, that'd break her heart- what if they were? What if they...were? No, right? Couldn't be, it just couldn't. Her parents,...adoptive...parents, wouldn't do that. Right?
Ugh, this was so...frustrating.
I climb back on Perse and lead her back to Beaver Hollow. My eyes locked on the back of her dark mane, my lips between my teeth. I look bothered and I am bothered. Because this just adds up- it's like God said 'no no, more bullshit,here' and this happens. So we had Higgins,Cornwall,the Pinkertons,the Army and the woman with no name after us- and now, God imagine if the princess' parents find out that their daughter is running with outlaws.
I let out a nervous laugh, I better not think about that.
"Barbara."
"John." I hope he didn't notice how nervous I looked- to be fair, he probably had other things in his mind. Much like everyone did- no one liked it here. No one WANTED to be here. Beaver Hollow was, and still is, a shit place.
The fact this place was used by the Murfree Brood didn't help either. I know that Charles and Arthur didn't know, I know they had no idea but it just...felt wrong. By the corner of my eye I see a blonde head and the paper in my vest feels heavy.
Madeline.
I inhaled shakily, exhaling quietly through my mouth before I climbed out of Perse, guiding herto the stables. My eyes stay locked on Maddie, I watch as she talks to Mary-Beth, laughing softly...then I squint, as if I'm trying to see something I hadn't before.
I couldn't see anything from this distance, I had to get closer. I checked to see if Dutch was in his tent- of course he was- and if Micah's horse was still there- of course he was. I move my jaw, rolling my shoulders to mentally prepare myself for...for something. I didn't know what I was going to do.
I didn't know how to approach this in a mentally stable way. I rub my fingers together, as if trying to get rid of nerves before I walk to Maddie. Madeline smiles when I approach, "Barbara." she says "How was the outing? Good?"
'Uh,yes,yes very good." the princess had a birthmark on the left side of her face. I look hard at Maddie, she always used a lot of face powder-was that why? I never saw her face 'clean' of it. "How...how are things here?"
"Hm? Oh good! I was helping Mary-Beth with-" she gestures with her gloved hands and I look at them, specifically at her right hand. The princess also had a birthmark there, and Maddie never showed her bare hands either. I swallow, the dots are connecting but I still needed more "and-Barbara,are you listening?"
I meet her eyes, questioning,and very blue. Her hair was much blonder than I remember, was I seeing things? "Sorry-" I say,shaking my head "My mind is in other places."
"Something happened in Annesburg?"
"...Um...no,no,"I smile "Just...you know, everything.It's a lot." I say, although the words seemed to be stuck in my throat like a possum clawing a tree. My lips part, "Um...Maddie can I...talk to you about something? In private?"
"Oh,certainly."
I nod, leading her far from camp, as far as I could while still keeping my eye on it. I cross my arms- I didn't know how to...say...what I wanted to say.
Madeline tilted her head, curiosity sparking in her expression. "What's the matter, Barbara? You look... uneasy."
I rub my hand over my face, pausing to gather my thoughts. The words threatened to tumble out, disjointed and frantic, but I couldn't just blurt it out. Not like this. She deserved... what did she deserve? The truth? To stay blissfully ignorant? My chest tightened at the weight of it all.
"It's, uh..." I glanced back toward camp, then to her, my voice low. "Have you ever thought about... who you are? Like, really thought about it?"
Her brow furrowed, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as if she were trying to decipher if this was some kind of joke. "Barbara, is this about that poetry you borrowed from Mary-Beth? Because I swear, you get all philosophical whenever you read something too deep."
"No, Maddie." I shook my head, a nervous laugh escaping before I could stop it. "This is serious. I mean... your family. Boston. Do you ever... wonder if maybe there's something you’re not remembering? Or if what you know isn’t... the full picture?"
Madeline blinked, the humor fading from her face. "Why are you asking me this?"
Her voice was calm, but there was a flicker of unease there, just enough to make my stomach churn. "Because—because I think..." My fingers tightened on my arms as I took a shaky breath. "I think there’s more to your story than you’ve been told."
She tilted her head, confused and cautious. "Barbara, you’re scaring me. What are you talking about?"
I hesitated. Damn it. How did I start this without making her think I'd lost my mind? Finally, I reached into my vest and pulled out the crumpled poster, holding it out to her. "This. Just... look at this, Maddie."
Her eyes darted between me and the paper before she took it, her gloved fingers smoothing out the creases. She stared at the image for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then she looked back at me, her voice small. "What is this?"
"It's a poster for Princess Isabeau Katharina Zinsmeister," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "She went missing twenty years ago. That poster’s from Annesburg, Maddie. They're still looking for her.This is an aged progress drawing... And—" I gestured toward the paper, my hand trembling. "—she looks just like you."
Madeline frowned, her lips parting as if to argue, but no words came out. She looked back at the poster, her face pale. "Barbara, this... this can't be real. This isn’t me."
"I thought that too!" I exclaimed, my voice rising before I quickly hushed it. "I thought it couldn't be. I told myself it wasn’t possible. But Maddie... look at the birthmark on her hand. The one on her face. You always use that face powder. You never take off your gloves. Why? Have you ever thought about why?"
Her hands trembled as she held the poster, her eyes glued to the image. "I don’t... I don’t know. This has to be some kind of mistake. My parents—they wouldn’t lie to me. They wouldn’t..."
My heart ached at the crack in her voice. I wanted to reach out, to offer some kind of comfort, but I didn’t know how. "Maddie, I’m not saying they lied to you. Maybe they didn’t know, or maybe they were trying to protect you. But you have to admit... this is strange. Too strange to ignore."
She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "No. No, Barbara. I’m not a princess. I’m just... I’m just Madeline. I grew up in Boston. My parents ran a store. That’s who I am."
"I know that’s what you’ve always believed," I said gently. "But what if it’s not the whole truth? What if you’re more than that? Don’t you want to know?" I pause "...Maddie,I need-I need you to tell me-why do you always cover your face and your hands?"
She hesitated. We shouldn't be talking about this, we shouldn't but I couldn't--I couldn't not. If this was true,I'd like to solve this before Dutch or Micah even sniffed it out "...Because...because I like it-" I shake my head "I don't know what you want me to say Barbara,I-"
"Maddie,"I inhale,holding up a hand,closing my eyes "Madeline--I need...I need the truth,I am not going to do anything,I'm not mad,angry or-or anything,I am confused and I am as scared as you are."
Madeline's hands lowered and she hesitated, her throat bobbing.She didn't want to believe this either,I knew "...because I have birthmarks.O-On my cheek and my hand. And I covered it up because the kids made fun of me b-before."
Oh.
Oh I needed to sit down.
"...can...can I see, the one on your cheek?" I had to make sure "You can cover it up later.A-And we are far enough that no one can see us."
Madeline hesitated, her gloved hand rising instinctively to touch her cheek, as though shielding it from the very thought. Her blue eyes darted nervously to the woods around them, then back to me, searching my face for... something. Reassurance? Conviction? I wasn’t sure, but she held my gaze, steady and calm, even as my own nerves threatened to spill over.
“Maddie, you don’t have to,” I said softly, even though my heart was screaming for confirmation. “I just... I need to understand. I promise, whatever happens, it stays between us. No one else will know.”
The woods felt still—too still—as Madeline mulled it over. She drew in a shaky breath and nodded, her fingers trembling as they moved to the ribbon securing her vest. She untied it with fumbling hands and parted open, then reached for her face. Slowly, she peeled away the powder with the edge of a handkerchief she had tucked inside.
The pale makeup smudged and flaked away, revealing the soft, rosy flesh beneath... and the faint but unmistakable birthmark on her left cheek.
My breath hitched.
It wasn’t just similar to the drawing—it was identical .
Madeline didn’t look up at first, keeping her gaze fixed on the ground. Her lips pressed into a thin line as though bracing for judgment. My mouth opened, then closed, words failing me.
“I... It really does match,” I whispered, more to myself than to Madeline. “I don’t... Oh, Maddie.”
Madeline’s head snapped up, her eyes wide and glassy. “Barbara, no. This doesn’t mean anything!” she said, her voice trembling as her hands flew to cover her cheek again. “It’s just a coincidence! I’m not... I can’t be—”
I reached out instinctively, her hands brushing Madeline’s shoulders. “Hey, hey,” I said, my voice firmer now, trying to ground us both. “Breathe, okay? You don’t have to believe it right now. Hell, I barely believe it myself. But we need to think about this. Together.”
Madeline’s shoulders sagged under my hands, and she sucked in a shuddering breath. “But if it’s true... what does that mean? For me? For my parents?”
I hesitated, glancing back toward Beaver Hollow as if the camp might somehow provide answers. It didn’t, of course. Only more danger if anyone else caught wind of this. “It means,” I said carefully, “we need to figure out what to do next. Quietly. This isn’t something we can let Dutch or anyone else find out about. You know that, don’t you?”
Madeline nodded, her eyes wide with understanding—and fear.
I dropped my hands and stepped back, running a hand through my hair. “Alright,” I said, exhaling slowly. “For now, you keep doing what you’re doing. Act normal. Don’t let anyone suspect a thing. And... I’ll try to figure out what this means for you. For both of us. All of us.”
Madeline stared at me, the birthmark on her cheek now bare and vulnerable in the dappled light. “Barbara... I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
My heart ached at the rawness in her voice. I wanted to say something to make it better, to promise that they’d get through this unscathed. But I couldn’t. All I could do was reach out and squeeze Madeline’s arm gently.
“We’ll figure it out,I promise.Okay?" It felt like a lie. Madeline nodded, and hurriedly grabbed her face powder to cover it up again "...would you want to..." I pause "...If we have to tell anyone-not that we will...who'd be?"
"...Arthur and Charles."she whispers "...but-I'm afraid Charles--"
"Charles won't look at you differently. He loves you and Arthur will just be ready to help."I knew my cowboy too well "...Maddie." my fingers twitch "...Maddie,I know this seems a lot but-we need to think of something,okay? We need to organize and-and make sure we're good. And if you even want to-to do...anything. About it, that is."
Madeline’s breath hitched again, and she wiped at her cheek with trembling fingers, her other hand clutching the powder compact like a lifeline. “I don’t even know if I can do anything about it,” she murmured, her voice so soft it almost disappeared in the stillness around us. “I’ve spent my whole life... a-as Madeline,I am Madeline. If this is true—if I’m really her... I don’t even know where to start.”
"We don’t have to figure it all out today, Maddie. But we do need a plan. Just... small steps, alright? Like we’re tracking game. One sign at a time. We keep our heads down and move slow.”
Madeline nodded, her lips twitching into something that almost resembled a bitter smile. “Like tracking deer,” she said, her voice faintly hollow. “Except the deer’s me, and I’m the one who’s lost.”
Her words hit harder than I expected, but I forced a smile. “Well, lucky for you, I’m a damn good tracker,” I said lightly, trying to break the tension. “We’ll find our way. One way or another.”
Her laugh was barely there, a ghost of a sound that faded as quickly as it came. She rubbed her cheek again, then glanced at me. “Barbara, if... if this gets out—if someone finds out—what do you think Dutch would do?”
The question tightened a knot in my chest. I’d been trying not to think about that. Dutch... he wasn’t the man they had followed when this gang was more like family. These days, his schemes were reckless, his paranoia sharp enough to cut through anyone who didn’t toe the line.
Molly almost died because of it.
“If Dutch knew... if he thought you were some kind of leverage,” I began carefully, “he’d use it. Without hesitation.”
Madeline flinched, and I felt a pang of guilt for my bluntness. But she had to understand. “That’s why we keep this between us,” I added quickly. “Arthur and Charles—they’d protect you, I know they would. But Dutch? He's too far gone.”
Madeline’s hands fell to her sides, the compact slipping from her fingers into the dirt. She didn’t even notice. “So, what do I do? Just... keep pretending? Act like none of this matters?”
“For now,” I said, picking up the compact and brushing off the dirt before handing it back to her. “We stay quiet. We watch. And when you’re ready— when you’re ready —we’ll figure out what comes next.”
She stared at the compact in her hand like it was something foreign, then looked up at me. “And if I’m never ready?”
I hesitated, then reached out to squeeze her hand. “Then we find another way to keep you safe. That’s all that matters, Maddie. Keeping you safe.”
She swallowed hard and nodded, though I could see the fear still flickering in her eyes. “Alright,” she whispered, almost too quiet to hear. “Alright, Barbara. We’ll keep it quiet.”
A tense silence fell between us, broken only by the distant sound of birdsong. For a moment, it felt like the woods themselves were holding their breath, waiting for the next move.
“Come on,” I said finally, glancing toward the path back to camp. “We’ve been gone too long. Folks will start asking questions.” I hold her hand, guiding her forward.
Madeline nodded again and followed me as we made our way back. Oh...what a goddamn mess. Jesus Christ. I nod at her as she stays in camp, gently telling her to breathe -' you are still Maddie. Always will,okay?'- she nods, smiling at me before she backs away.
I exhale, propping my hands on my hips as I close my eyes. Shit. Shit,shit,shit. I jump in surprise when two arms wrap around my waist "Wh-Jesus-Arthur-" I laugh nervously, feeling his beard touching my neck 'You scared me."
"Ain't used to me anymore,are ya?' he smirks, kissing under my ear "Was lookin' for ya."
"Oh,I went to Annesburg-"
"And then I saw ya talkin' to Maddie." Shit "Seemed important."
I sent Madeline a look across camp, she looked terrified, but quickly distracted herself "Just...keeping her up to speed with everything,you know." I shrug, placing my hands on his arms, feeling him hum behind me "...a-anyway, where did you go?" deflect, as quickly as I could.
"Huntin' with Charles,we got some boar and deer,some ducks. We are good fer a few days." I nod...and I swallow when he tilts his head at me "...yer actin' weird. What's wrong?"
So much. So much Arthur.
"Nothing."
"Barbara..."
His tone dropped, low and steady, the way it always did when he didn’t believe me. The way that made it impossible to lie. Damn him and that soft persistence.
I sighed, turning in his arms to face him. His blue eyes searched mine, sharp and yet full of a tenderness that made my chest ache. "It’s nothing to worry about, Arthur. Really. Just... Maddie’s been feeling a little out of sorts lately. Figured I’d lend an ear, is all."
He squinted at me, skeptical but not pressing. Yet. "She alright?"
"She will be," I said quickly, forcing a smile. "She’s tough. You know that."
Arthur hummed thoughtfully, his arms loosening just enough to let me step back. "You sure that’s all it is? You’re lookin’ about as rattled as a fox in a henhouse."
I winced at his damn accurate read. "I’m fine. Just tired. Aren't we all?" I glanced away toward the campfire, where Dutch was already pacing and gesturing grandly at Micah. The usual chaos.
Arthur followed my gaze and snorted. "Tired ain’t the half of it. Man’s been schemin’ so much lately, I half expect him to wake us all in the middle of the night with some new ‘big idea.’"
I chuckled, grateful for the shift in topic. "You mean like the last few times,huh?"
He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that way that always softened him. "Exactly like that. You’d think by now he’d have run outta ideas."
We shared a laugh, the tension easing just a little. But Arthur wasn’t done with me yet—I could tell by the way his grin faded, replaced by that serious, thoughtful look he got when he was figuring something out.
"You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?" he asked quietly.
The question hit harder than it should have, the weight of it pulling my shoulders down. I forced myself to hold his gaze, even as guilt churned in my gut. "Course I would," I lied. I will...in time. "When it’s something you need to know, I’ll tell you."
Arthur studied me for a moment longer, his eyes narrowing slightly, but then he nodded, seemingly satisfied—for now. "Alright. Just don’t go shoulderin' everything yourself, Barbara. You ain’t gotta carry it all alone."
His words stung more than I cared to admit. If only he knew how much I was already carrying, just to keep us all afloat. Just to keep Maddie safe. But I nodded, giving him a small smile. "I’ll remember that."
Arthur reached up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear before letting his hand linger on my cheek for a moment. "Good. Now come on. Charles is probably gonna wonder where I wandered off to."
He stepped back, giving me a final searching look before turning to head toward the campfire. I stood there for a moment, watching him go, feeling the knot in my chest tighten all over again.
"Barbara?"
I turned to see Maddie peeking out from her tent, her face pale and her eyes wide with worry. She didn’t say anything else, just looked at me like she was holding her breath.
I managed a small, reassuring smile. "It’s gonna be okay," I said, even though I didn’t know if it was true. "We’ll figure it out."
Maddie nodded, ducking back into her tent. I stayed where I was for a moment longer, letting the hum of camp life settle around me. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but I knew one thing for sure.
If this secret got out, it wouldn’t just change Maddie’s life. It’d change all of ours. And Dutch Van der Linde wouldn’t hesitate to use it to his advantage.
Jesus Christ, what had we gotten ourselves into?