Chapter Text
The weeks flew by. Green leaves on the trees rapidly turned a mixture of golden yellows and deep reds. The air grew chilly, the days slightly shorter. It was Aziraphale’s favorite time of year. The bright colors always lifted his spirits in the mornings on his way into Host Tower, and the cooler temperatures made for perfect reading weather in his limited free time.
Now that Sarah had joined The Host, Aziraphale’s work life had gotten much better. For the most part, Archangel left him alone, tasking him with teaching Sarah all she needed to know while he focused on some other task. The Host Convention was coming up in less than a week and apparently preparing for that was significantly more important than spending time with a teenage girl.
Aziraphale liked Sarah. She was dedicated, hardworking, bright, and actively enjoyed holding a conversation with him. They limited their talks to hero stuff, mostly. Aziraphale was still hesitant to reveal much about his personal life and he wanted to make sure Sarah and Adam remained safe. The less he knew about them both, and them about him, the better.
Still, there was only so much a person could hide about themselves while spending nearly every day with someone else. It was obvious Sarah was in high school. She was the oldest of two, Adam being her younger brother. She enjoyed art, as evidenced by the sketch pad she toted around during their down time at Host Tower.
Sarah had come to learn a few things about him too. Aziraphale made it extremely obvious he’d rather spend his time in the library than out fighting villains. He knew little to nothing about technology, and Sarah had been patient in trying to teach him. She knew he lived alone and that he was in a very new, very exciting and yet terrifying relationship.
Keeping Crowley a secret had been utterly impossible. Sarah may not know his name, but she would have to be blind to miss the way Aziraphale’s face lit up whenever he was asked about weekend plans or whenever he got a message on his newfangled cell phone. Crowley had made him get one - mostly because Aziraphale was away from home during the majority of the day and if Crowley decided he wanted to have an impromptu meetup after work, there was no other way to reach him.
Things with Crowley were going extremely well in almost every aspect. Despite his initial reservations, it appeared the man wasn’t growing bored with Aziraphale in the slightest. The hero’s busy schedule made it difficult for them to spend time together every day, but for now they had the weekends entirely open. Crowley had also invited Aziraphale over several times for dinner during the week, where they would settle down on the couch after with a nice bottle of wine and watch television for a few hours before one of them fell asleep on the other.
Just thinking of his time spent with Crowley these past few weeks made Aziraphale’s heart flutter and his insides turn all warm and fuzzy. The only thing that made the situation less than perfect was the fact that after nearly seven weeks of being a couple, Crowley still hadn’t kissed him.
Sure, there had been several cheek kisses, initiated by both parties. A couple of kisses on the back of his hand or his temple, and those had all been wonderful, but no matter how many romantic dinners they had or cuddle sessions on the couch, Crowley hadn’t once tried to take things further than they’d already gone.
Aziraphale thought he’d given all the right signs, but all of this was still so new. What if Crowley thought he wasn’t interested. What if Crowley didn’t want to kiss him?
What if he expected Aziraphale to make the first move?
Well, after weeks and weeks of waiting, today would be the day Aziraphale would find out. He was determined, and as much as the thought terrified him, he was going to kiss Crowley before the night was out. On the lips. It was happening.
“Right,” Aziraphale whispered to himself one more time in the mirror before he had to leave. Tonight was the big Autumn Festival. The first week of October had arrived, and with it came the promise of hayrides and corn mazes. Stands with hot chocolate and cider and an assortment of snacks, where people could set up by a cozy bonfire or set their blankets out under the stars. There would be games and stories and dancing - every perfect date idea wrapped into one. Aziraphale could hardly stand the suspense. “You can do this. It’s just another night with Crowley and this time you are going to show him how you really feel, you big softie.”
He poked at the mirror, finger landing directly over his chest and the pale blue sweater he’d recently acquired. Normally, Aziraphale would have opted for something a bit more...neutral in color, but he liked how soft the fabric felt against his skin and hoped the blue would help bring out his eyes.
“Hey!” Crowley called as he caught sight of Aziraphale later that afternoon. It was nearing dinnertime and the couple had agreed to meet up on the west entrance to the park at precisely 5:30. “We’re twins! Well, sort of.”
Aziraphale’s eyes widened as he took in Crowley’s attire. The red-haired man was always fetching, usually choosing to dress in tight, dark pants and v-neck shirts, but this time was different. This time, Crowley was donning a comfortable pair of slacks and a deep burgundy sweater, not unlike the one Aziraphale had on, with one minor difference.
Crowley’s sweater was tartan.
While the sleeves remained the same black color Aziraphale was so accustomed to his partner wearing, the rest of Crowley’s sweater was the most intense black and red checkered pattern he’d ever seen. Before Aziraphale’s mind could catch up with what he was seeing, the man felt a wide smile break out over his face as Crowley approached him, the slightest of blushes adorning his freckled cheeks.
“It wasn’t exactly my first choice of outfits,” the man admitted, voice quieting as he closed the distance between them. Glancing back over his shoulder, Crowley then said, “but Anathema insisted I wear something warm, and, well, I thought you’d appreciate it.”
Aziraphale’s eyes flickered up for a brief moment, catching sight of Anathema and Newton close behind. His grin widened as he reached out to take Crowley’s hand in his, tugging gently on Crowley’s arm to turn him around.
A double date . How absolutely marvelous.
Aziraphale had never been on a double date before. In fact, before Crowley, Aziraphale hadn’t really been on any dates before, unless you counted the spring dance at the end of the year. Even then, he’d only gone because he hadn’t known how to say ‘no’. And here he was, about to have a lovely evening with Crowley and to be joined by another one of his favorite people and her boyfriend.
How absolutely marvelous.
“Nice to see you Aziraphale,” Anathema greeted him as warmly as she might have had he been wearing his white and gold suit. So far, Aziraphale had come across Anathema a few times as himself. Crowley had invited her over for dinner a few times - or, rather, he’d invited Aziraphale to crash what would normally have been a dinner between two neighbors and friends.
“Anathema,” Aziraphale greeted back with a smile, ignoring the way his heart fluttered just a little as he felt Crowley squeeze his hand. It was so nice to be able to interact with her without the entire city’s eyes on them. Anathema was such a genuine person. He counted himself lucky to have her as a friend. “Newton.”
For the briefest of moments, panic surged through Aziraphale’s entire body. What had he just done? Had he done anything? The hero couldn’t, for the life of him, remember if he should know Newton’s name. He knew, for certain, that he’d never interacted with the man using his secret identity. Aziraphale had met Newton Pulsifer all of two times - the day Anathema had been kidnapped and when Crowley and Newton had come to Host Tower for a tour.
Both of those times, he’d been dressed as Principality. Oh, surely Newton would notice his slip up. Maybe there was a way for him to signal to the taller man. Convince him not to say anything just yet. Newton was a fan of The Host. He would agree to keep Aziraphale’s secret, wouldn’t he? Aziraphale knew Anathema and he liked to believe if she was dating Newton, he had to be a stand up sort of guy.
“Aziraphale, right?” Newton asked after a moment that felt like a lifetime. He smiled and stuck out his hand in greeting. “Anathema’s mentioned you a few times now. Nice to finally meet you.”
And just like that, the panic was gone. Anathema had mentioned him to Newton. There was no reason to believe she hadn’t also mentioned Newton’s name to him.
Crisis averted, for now.
“Shall we get going?” Anathema asked, her deep brown eyes coming to rest on Aziraphale’s face in such a way, with such a look, that made him suddenly feel uneasy. Like she could see right through him. Like she knew his secret.
But that was impossible, wasn’t it?
He sure hoped so.
The four friends made their way into the park. Almost immediately, they were surrounded by crowds of people already waist deep in enjoying their evening. Aziraphale took a moment to simply look around, marveling at all that was going on around him. Without thinking, he let Crowley take the lead, following along in whichever direction his partner tugged him.
“See anything you like?” Aziraphale turned at the question, a slight blush rushing to his cheeks as he realized how lost he must have looked in that moment. Crowley smiled at him and Aziraphale’s heart skipped a beat and if Newton and Anathema hadn’t been right beside them, he might have kissed Crowley then and there.
There would be time for that later.
“Oh,” Aziraphale had no idea what he wanted to do. There was so much, it was impossible to choose. “I uh - it all looks so exciting.”
“Really?” Crowley’s eyebrows quirked upward, creating wrinkle lines across his forehead as he looked at Aziraphale disbelievingly. “All of it? Even the fortuneteller .”
Anathema turned around at Crowley’s question and stuck her tongue out at him. “Anthony Crowley, I will disown you if you step foot under that woman’s tent. So help me.”
Laughter echoed from Crowley’s stomach and Aziraphale felt his heart take off again. Oh, how he loved that sound. Laughing came so naturally to Crowley, it filled him up, making his hazel eyes sparkle no matter what sort of lighting they were under. Aziraphale wanted to hear Crowley laugh every single day.
“Not a believer in the mystic arts?” Aziraphale asked his friend as Anathema turned her gaze to him and smiled.
“No, I most definitely am,” she clarified, making no sense whatsoever given what had just transpired. “I just don’t believe in scamming people and giving them false hope for some quick cash.”
“I thought you said you were a witch?” Newton pointed out, a bit muffled as he had just taken a bite full of caramel apple. Aziraphale had no idea how the man had gotten one already, when they’d barely entered the festival, but he had to admit it looked quite delicious.
Anathema turned to her boyfriend with an exasperated sigh. “I’m an occultist.”
Newton looked up, mouth full, a dollop of caramel on his chin, and shot Aziraphale a look that very much said ‘There’s a difference?’ Aziraphale shrugged innocently, having no idea what any of them were talking about, but happy that he was here with friends, and not alone in his bookshop like he would have been had he never stumbled his way into Crowley’s shop.
Before the foursome could make much progress in their evening, they were interrupted by the most unlikely group. As Aziraphale turned his attention back to the festival, he spotted a very familiar blonde braid, with four equally familiar children in tow.
“Hey!” Adam piped up as he spotted the group, and once again Aziraphale feared his cover had been blown. How in the world had the young boy recognized him so quickly in a crowd of hundreds of people? This is why he never left his bookshop. It was much safer to stay inside. The more people that he interacted with, the more chances he created for someone to guess he was Principality. And then it would be all over. He would never have a quiet life ever again.
“You’re Anathema Device, right? Principality’s friend!”
Oh, right. Out of all of them, Anathema was the one most likely to be spotted in a crowd. She tended to keep a low profile most days, but with the number of times Aziraphale had rescued her, she had made it on to more than just one news station. It wouldn’t be surprising to find some people knew who she was. Especially a boy as big of a superhero fan as Adam was.
“I am,” she answered with a patient smile as she looked down at the group of children who had suddenly surrounded her. There were four of them in total, with Sarah acting as some sort of guardian, if Aziraphale had to guess. He met her eyes accidentally and offered up a hesitant smile. Of course, Aziraphale knew exactly who she was - he’d been there for her try-out. But so far, she had no clue who he was. In fact, he was fairly certain she didn’t know anyone here at all. “And these are my friends, Crowley and Aziraphale. And my boyfriend, Newton.”
The taller man turned beet red from head to toe and Aziraphale had to bite back a laugh. At least he wasn’t alone in his complete awkwardness when it came to the object of his affections.
“See?” the lone girl of the group pointed out with a satisfied smile on her face. “I told you clowns she wasn’t dating Principality.”
One of the boys turned to look at her, scowling behind his glasses. “Just because she has a boyfriend now doesn’t mean she and Principality have never dated,” he pointed out and Aziraphale had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Is this the sort of thing the younger generation worried about? How amusing.
“She could also be dating both,” the last boy pointed out as the chocolate ice cream he possessed dripped down the cone and settled comfortably onto his hand. Aziraphale had no idea where the boy had even gotten any ice cream - it didn’t seem like the sort of thing that fit into a ‘fall’ themed festival, but he seemed to be enjoying it, nonetheless. “You can’t rule that out, Pepper.”
The girl, Pepper, scowled back. She then turned to Anathema and with an exasperated look that rivaled the older woman’s, asked, “Can you please tell these two clowns that you have never in your life dated the hero known as Principality?”
Anathema laughed, and Aziraphale was thankful she was engaging with the children. Doing so kept their focus off him and the sudden flush that had filled up his entire face. He was supposed to be pretending that he wasn’t secretly a superhero during the majority of his days. And here he was experiencing firsthand embarrassment that Aziraphale, the normal bookshop owner, shouldn’t in the slightest.
A gentle squeeze against his hand caused Aziraphale to slowly turn his head toward Crowley. The other man was looking over at him, looking so softly at him, Aziraphale thought he might melt. Quietly, Crowley leaned, his lips brushing up the very edge of Aziraphale’s ear. “You are absolutely adorable,” he whispered and the color in Aziraphale’s cheeks doubled.
“I could do that.” Aziraphale quickly turned his attention back to Anathema, pointedly ignoring the proud grin appearing on Crowley’s face as the man squeezed his hand yet again. “But that would erase the mystery. And who doesn’t love a good mystery?”
It wasn’t exactly the answer any of the children were looking for, but after glancing at each other, it appeared to be one they could live with.
“Come on,” Crowley tugged at Aziraphale’s hand as Pepper launched immediately into another question, this time about the pendant Anathema was currently wearing around her neck. Some sort of constellation, although Aziraphale didn’t recognize which one it was. “Let’s get out of here. I’ve got something I want to show you.”
Aziraphale was surprised. He hadn’t expected Crowley to want to show him anything tonight. Weren’t they just supposed to enjoy the activities that had already been set up for them?
“And what might that be?” the hero asked as he followed his partner through the crowd, meandering this way and that, past stands of carnival games and various fall themed drinks and treats. Crowley turned his head and smiled mischievously at Aziraphale and the man suddenly wondered if he should have stayed back with Newton and Anathema.
“If I tell you, I’ll ruin the mystery.”
Aziraphale laughed and gave up his half-hearted resistance. He’d follow Crowley anywhere he wanted to go at this point. As long as he got to keep spending time with the man, Aziraphale was sure he’d be completely content.
The couple zig-zagged back and forth until the throngs of people finally began to thin out. Aziraphale was surprised to find that the sky had darkened significantly since he’d last looked. The very last bit of sunlight was disappearing behind the city’s skyline, leaving a vast, cloudless sky above them.
Looking up at the clear air hanging above the park made Aziraphale want to release his wings and fly away from here. He could scoop Crowley up and together they could soar over the city they called home. They could watch the sun setting in the distance, hear the waves lapping against the shore. It would be lovely and romantic and a perfect setting to sit Crowley down on the edge of a building and kiss him like Aziraphale had been dreaming about for weeks.
You’re going to have to tell him eventually.
Aziraphale knew he couldn’t keep this secret forever. Not if he wasn’t serious about retiring from The Host. Crowley was smart - one of the smartest people Aziraphale had ever met. All it would take would be one emergency where Aziraphale had to cancel plans with Crowley to go deal with The Serpent or another villain and his cover would be blown.
That wasn’t the way Aziraphale wanted Crowley to learn his secret. He wanted to be honest with Crowley, not make it look like he was keeping things from his partner, but Aziraphale would be lying if he said these past few weeks hadn’t been the best of his life, for more reasons than one. Being with Crowley as just himself...it was just a relief. When he was with Crowley, there were no heroes or villains. There was no saving the city, no adoring fans that just wanted to get a photograph or have him sign some collectable they never planned to use. It was just the two of them. It was real , and if Aziraphale told Crowley the truth, well, what if that changed everything? What if Crowley looked at him differently?
What if he never got to be normal again?
“See that star up there?”
Crowley’s gentle question brought him back to the present. They had tucked themselves behind a large oak tree at the edge of the park. Away from prying eyes, but still out in the open enough to still see the darkening sky.
Aziraphale followed where Crowley was pointing and noticed a single, solitary bright star alone in the vast expanse of space behind it. Logically, Aziraphale knew there were millions of other stars out there with it, but for now, it was the only one that could be seen by a naked human eye. Even one belonging to a superhero.
“Which one is that?”
“Venus,” Crowley answered without missing a beat. “The brightest one up there. S’why we can see it so early on in the night.”
Aziraphale smiled, looking back down at Crowley’s face. The red-haired man was still looking up at the sky, his bright hazel eyes scanning the visible space, trying to pick out any others he could show Aziraphale.
Quickly, blue eyes flickered down, falling to the tartan sweater once more before drifting back up to Crowley’s face. He was so handsome, Aziraphale could hardly stand it. However had he gotten so lucky?
“You know,” Aziraphale found himself saying, not entirely sure he even knew where the thought was going as the words tumbled from his mouth. “Venus was named after the Roman goddess of Beauty and Love.” Crowley nodded his head and turned back towards Aziraphale, the softest of smiles upon his face.
“‘S a nice name,” he murmured and Aziraphale felt his heartbeat beginning to spike. Was this it? Was this the moment? Should he kiss Crowley now or wait until later on in the evening? This was all so confusing - he hated it. And at the same time, he wouldn't have it any other way.
“It’s also the only planet named after a female deity,” Aziraphale pointed out, eyes fixed on Crowley’s face. Did he just...stop talking and do it? Should he wait for Crowley to come closer? “Seems only fitting,” he continued, not sure what else to say. “Like you said, she’s the brightest star out there.”
Just like you. The words caught in his throat as Aziraphale felt his free hand twitch at his side. What a ridiculous thing to say. And yet…
Taking a deep breath, Aziraphale shut out his fleeting thoughts. He shut out the worry and the uncertainty and lifted his free hand to rest gently against Crowley’s cheek. Thumb brushing against the smooth skin, blue eyes locked with Crowley’s hazel ones, Aziraphale softly tugged the man’s face closer. His eyelids fluttered shut instinctively mere moments before their lips finally met in the middle.
Crowley’s lips were warm, and gentle, and the sharp intake of breath that reached his ears sent a thrill of energy through Aziraphale’s entire body, starting in the center of his chest and spreading rapidly down his arms and legs until it reached the very edges of him and beyond.
The sensation of kissing Crowley was better than he’d ever imagined it could be, and when Aziraphale pulled back and saw tears hovering on the surface of those brilliant hazel eyes, he felt an overwhelming joy and relief.
“Thank goodness,” Crowley breathed, leaning in to kiss him again. Aziraphale allowed this one to linger a bit longer, now that he no longer had to fear such an act might be unwanted. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, you have no idea.”
A laugh escaped Aziraphale’s lips as Crowley tilted his head, eyes closed, leaning into the hero’s palm. Savoring the moment. Making a memory. “Why didn’t you just kiss me, you silly creature?”
Crowley’s eyes opened and there was a glimmer of something there that Aziraphale didn’t understand. Sorrow? Guilt? Regret? It didn’t match up with everything that had just transpired and Aziraphale found himself wishing for just a small peek into his partner’s mind.
“I, uh,” Crowley’s eyes flickered down, as if he couldn’t stand to keep Aziraphale’s gaze any longer. “I don’t necessarily have the best track record with...things like this. Knowing when stuff like this is wanted. I didn’t want to presume.”
Aziraphale smiled, softly, tenderly, as he slid the hand on Crowley’s cheek down underneath his chin, guiding it up until their eyes met once more.
“No need to fret, my dear,” Aziraphale murmured as he took a step back into the safety and seclusion of the oak tree, pulling Crowley close against his chest. “Things like this will always be wanted by me. I can promise you that.”
To prove his point, Aziraphale leaned forward and pressed another kiss to Crowley’s lips. He felt the man sigh against him, lifting the hand that wasn’t currently entwined with Aziraphale’s to rest gently on his partner’s waist. Aziraphale’s free hand found its way back to Crowley’s cheek as he deepened the kiss, mind drifting to just how perfect this moment was. A canopy of red leaves above them, the bright light of Venus just beyond. The perfect start to what he hoped would be an even more perfect night.
“No need to fret at all.”