Chapter Text
Written on 9/14 (except I corrected the page numbers in the final remark before the 9/26 entry after realizing it was 945 and not 980 total)
Welcome to a very special spoiler-ridden edition of this silly series. I read the TRG excerpt a little bit ago, decided that with less than two weeks to go, people can choose to spoil themselves or not reading this. It’s only the first 53 pages anyway. And that’s if you count the 19-page prologue that I absolutely did not read (I will when the book’s in front of me).
This is the first book where I’ve thought there was a legitimate chance the big thing could happen, and the preview has done nothing to dissuade me. Here’s hoping.
O(.)(.) Part One, Ch. 1, p. 23 (Bijou): “Strike’s late Aunt Joan would have thought the pink dress inappropriate for a christening: a clinging wraparound affair with a low V neckline…”
O(?) Part One, Ch. 1, p. 23 (Bijou): “...and a hemline that showed a lot of tanned leg.”
[ed.: That’s strike one on Murphy in JKR’s view with the cleavage slidey eyes.]
O(.)(.) Part One, Ch. 2, p.27 (Bijou): “Strike…found himself glancing down at her cleavage.”
O(?) Part One, Ch. 2, p. 27 (Bijou): “She had an undeniably fabulous figure, small-waisted…”
O(?) Part One, Ch. 2, p. 27 (Bijou): “...long-legged…”
O(.)(.) Part One, Ch. 2, p. 27 (Bijou): “...and large-breasted.”
[ed.: debated and left this one out, seems more objective: “She pressed her breasts together with her upper arms…”]
[ed.: “‘What’re you two plotting?’” “... his eyes were alert.” “For a moment or two, she’d been reminded of the tensions of her former marriage: she hadn’t liked Murphy’s question…” There’s strike two.]
[ed.: “‘It suits you!’” Strike three, you’re out before even chapter fucking three, bro. I hoped you’d be a bit cooler than this, Murphy.]
[ed.: really glad the sex is good for Robin, lessons learned/discovered there with Murphy will benefit Strike as well as her. It’s going to get REAL when Ryan brings up the rape at a critical time. Will it be in front of Strike to hurt him with the knowledge that Robin has shared that with Ryan? At the end of the Robin/Ryan relationship when he’s drunk? Anyway, he’s obviously not long for this world. Probably out by the end of this book? I’ll really enjoy finding out! That’s it for this special edition. That’s three instances of boobs, two legs, and a waist for those keeping score. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks and about 892 pages. Well, I guess like 911 with the prologue…]
And picking up on 9/26…God save all us poor, shippy readers.
[ed.: as of p.107 and a lot of hard to read shit, I’ll just note I’m super engaged at this point in the plot too, which is incredible given I’m on tenterhooks to find out if they’ll fucking kiss already…a bang of an opener compared to some of the slower-going Strike novel expositions, hoping it has a chance to become my series favorite. Also, this book very credibly affirms Lucy as a potential Leda killer. Maybe Shanker is the real dark horse.]
O(.)(.) Part One, Ch. 12, p. 109 (Bijou): “...a memory of cleavage…”
O(?) Part One, Ch. 12, p. 109 (Bijou): “...and legs…”
O(.)(.) Part One, Ch. 12, p. 109 (Bijou): “He remembered the cleavage.”
[ed.: fuck yeah, he remembered the cleavage: boobs and legs and boobs for Strike all day, this book appears determined to tip the balance further in that direction. Also, god damn it, Strike, for reals? This girl? I hope I don’t have to change these to “B”, but it's amusing as hell that Bijou has nine entries when previous girlfriends could only achieve as high as four individually and ten altogether. She must be pretty hot. She’d have to be for him to tolerate that shit.
Later: super glad he’s not fucking her anymore, repercussions gon’ be weird and bad. She’ll get no letter of her own from me: you don’t deserve to have a “B” entry, Bijou.]
[ed.: “Little did Strike know that Robin and Murphy’s relationship had suffered its first serious blow…” Literally clapped my hands together once in anticipation. I’m not sure if there’s a path to romance in this book for our protags as of right now, all this cult horror and unspoken hurt feelings (so what else is new?). But even if not, I think at least we can usher Murphy out the fucking door.]
[ed.: JKR really has it in for fat… people. Page 161. And page 203. And arguably 204.]
[ed.: I don’t think it’s self-evident that Strike checks out Abigail’s arse, sexually speaking, when he evaluates the back of her and her muscularity, but intelligent minds may disagree.]
O(?) Part Two, Ch. 33, p. 267: “...she looked undeniably fabulous in a bright red bra, suspender belt and stockings.”
[ed.: “...he vowed to himself that this would be the last time, ever, he risked his own privacy or career for a pointless affair undertaken to distract him from thoughts of Robin Ellacott.” Promise?]
[ed.: JKR, fat people, etc. page 381.]
[ed.: Jesus, I can’t wait for Robin to be out of that place, holy shit. Also, this was earlier, but did anyone have, on their scorecard, Shanker as a member for the defense of the concept of children/family as the highest meaning/institution in life?]
[ed.: fat people–page 469. A couple of times. Already used the raisins in dough/bun thing with Tempest in book 3, JKR.]
[ed.: my current wild theory is Abigail did it (for… some reason…)... and that she’s Daiyu and never drowned! But I’m not sure that hangs together. I really wouldn’t be surprised if she did it, though. Coming off as heroic and attracted to Strike, etc.]
[ed.: ah, Strike considers the possibility of Daiyu alive, so that makes me more doubtful about that possibility. OMG, Charlotte’s dead, what?! And there’s Strike, fully admitting to himself in church what he wants and how he needs to change. Get Robin the fuck out of there and kiss her, you bastard!]
[ed.: some mentions of a “tight” dress on both Charlotte and Bijou, including Bijou’s “emphasi[zing] her figure”, but no real sexual energy, imo]
[ed.: the cult part of this story has been really good, my anxiety is real. Enjoyed Robin flattering Jiang and thereby learning the axe’s location. Jiang’s a dead douche walking, huh? What with being the only one who knows someone’s come back.]
[ed.: omg, Robin talks about throwing onions in the freezer to reduce crying like in my fic “Convalescence”, lol.]
[ed.: as one of maybe a handful of men who write in this fandom, I just want to sincerely, if fruitlessly and pointlessly, apologize for the behavior of a depressingly large percentage of my gender on the whole. It is disgusting to behold such an ugly truth over and over again, in fiction and real life. What a lot of deplorable apes so many of us are. p. 555]
[ed.: Manifestation of the Drowned Prophet is gonna be so lit. Sucks Robin’s gonna be there.]
[ed.: my desperate hope is that Robin will be out of that awful fucking place by like page 730 at the latest (I’m on 588) and we can have a come down a bit to her domestic life and Murphy sucking ass enough to get the boot pretty quick so that The Kiss can not suck. But I’m severely unconvinced it’s happening in this book.]
[ed.: omg, she’s out, the relief! But also… page 625! Not even two-thirds done! In with a chance!]
[ed.: I don’t think the “picturing his business partner naked” business is quite close enough to a sexy thought, particularly given the trauma she’s just been through, and that he’s actively trying to avoid the line of thought.]
[ed.: JKR, you monster, you better let them get together if you’re gonna do this shit to me: “‘I knew you were there.’” Couple of tears. Series cry #6. You are really good at this job, JKR.]
[ed.: “‘I love you, too.’” Oh, for FUCK’S SAKE.]
[ed.: As long as I’m pointing out her penchant for making fat people bad or nasty or essentially normy trash, I do have to point out that JKR at least calls Flora (who is apparently morbidly obese) “a beautiful woman”. So multiple pregnancies (like Linda) and extreme psychosexual trauma (Flora) are both reasons women can be both fat and good. There’s also her habit of often (not always!) ascribing unattractiveness (Bristow, Tassel, Laing, Gus, Mazu) or differences from the typical, like a speech impediment (Luca) or being trans (Pippa), to evil or mundanely unappealing folk.]
[ed.: I am finding it a little harder every page not to just skip to the end and find out what the fuck on the romance stuff, but I’m holding tight. Come on, Murphy, have a fucking drink already.]
[ed.: ”’Been here before…I was following that cheating accountant.’” Yeah, for like ten fucking years, wadn’it? Also “been here before” is how I’m feeling. Are we really going to have another jealous dude hanging about, stinking up the joint? I had enough of that shit with Matthew, thanks. Just like I had enough of all those Kleenex girlfriends Strike used. I swear to God if Robin ends up saying “Yes” to a proposal in this book, I will hurl it into the fucking wall. I appreciate Ryan’s a better dude than Matthew but still, fuck the fuck off, bro.]
[ed.: OMG, IT WAS ABIGAIL (though naturally she’s not Daiyu), I KNEW IT! I HADN’T GOT WHODUNNIT TOTALLY RIGHT SINCE SILKWORM! 3/6 success rate on murderer identification (again, I did not try in CoE because I didn’t care). However, I am rather disappointed, though utterly unsurprised, to see JKR nailing a tall, muscular woman to the wall; I get whiffs of Pippa. Ah, fuck, she even describes her as “handsome”.]
[ed.: “‘I s’pose you’re just not cut out for the whole settling down with one woman thing, and that’s OK…I promise I’ll never go on about it again.’” Sometimes I like and hate you so much at the same time, JKR.]
[ed.: extremely long gap in Strike bodily related sex thoughts if my eye is right: the last was on 267, so that’s 678 pages.]
[ed.: holy bloody living fuckhound, what the fucking fuck!? Well, the big thing… semi-happened. You didn’t… like… finish writing the 8th book right after you finished the 7th, didya, JKR? Well, I’m both surprised and not--surprised that JKR went ahead and got the fucking words out of his mouth and not that she denied us The Kiss. I’ve always thought Book Eight was a reasonable guess, though I think it’s pushing the issue a bit too far. She better not push it to Nine, or I will throw a fit. Will Ryan bring up the rape/get drunk in the next book? Charlotte: gone! Strike’s dalliances with women: probably over! Okay, now someone write the fics, goddamn it!]
Tallies!
The Running Grave only (this is in general, by body part, and by woman all summarized in one entry):
O(.)(.): 5
O(?): 5
They’re ALL fucking Bijou! She tied with all the girlfriends combined! Robin got exactly NOTHING. Second book where “tits” tied with the “everything else” category (also happened for IBH). Last occurrence of “arse” was in book 5. Last occurrence of “arse” more than once in a book was book 3.
Across all seven books so far! (A total of 95 references caught by me, please let me know anything I've missed.)
R(?): 22 (I think three of these are fairly obviously references to boobs, but whatever.)
O(?): 15
R(.)(.): 10
O(.)(.): 10 (“Other” ties Robin again in the boobs category!)
CP(?): 9
C(?): 9
CP(.)(.): 3
L(?): 3
O(!): 3
R(!): 3
M(?): 3
E(?): 2
C(.)(.): 1
N(?): 1
M(.)(.): 1
By woman:
R: 35
O: 28
CP: 12
C: 10 (think the chances of her passing Ciara have, uh, gone down significantly–Bijou also technically ties with Charlotte, lol!)
M: 4
L: 3
E: 2
N: 1
By body part:
(?): 64 (again, I feel like three of these are boobs)
(.)(.): 25
(!): 6
More categorizing fun:
Whole body/unclear: 43
Boobs: 25
Legs: 12
Arse: 6
Neck: 3
Waist: 3
Hands/fingers: 2
Arm: 1