Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The mission was simple. Go to the planet, take some scans, talk with the locals, and come back within a few varga. Xenith was next in line for a supply drop, so the more the team knew about it, the better.

Since it was such a short mission, only Keith and Pidge were assigned to carry it out. Pidge knew the tech by the back of her hand, and Keith was there to practice his diplomacy skills. It was Allura’s order after all, so it was in their best interest to listen.

Up until departure, both Keith and Pidge had been staying in the tech room with Matt, who was back on the castle for a few weeks to help out with database issues and a much needed break from Rebel work. It was also an excuse to see Keith again, since they were, well.. together.

Officially, that is.

♦♦♦

It’d been a long time in the making for them, knowing each other since the Garrison days. Matt was a couple grades above Keith, and also close with Shiro, so it was hard not to run into each other. It was only natural that they became friends. They pulled harmless pranks throughout the years, targeting Shiro the most, and helped each other through classes. There were countless late night study sessions that almost always ended up being game nights, or afternoons where Matt tended to Keith’s injuries after another fight, scolding him to take better care of himself in order to mask his own worries.

To Keith, Matt was the closest friend he’d ever had. Shiro was more of like an older brother, and although they were close, it wasn’t quite the friendship Keith needed to have. But with Matt’s younger age and the lightness he carried with him, it felt a lot like natural friendship. They were inseparable, up until the failed Kerberos mission.

Although there were years lost at the hands of the Galra, no force in the world would be able to keep them apart for good. When they reunited, it was as if nothing between them changed, besides their growing closeness. It only took a couple of phoebs of surprise visits between juggling the responsibilities of war until they found themselves a little closer than just friends.

Neither of them were phased, even in the middle of talking about it together. Instead, they felt a sense of clarity, and they didn’t have to worry about misinterpreting their already apparent intimacy. It’d just be more romantic, and that was good enough for the two of them.

♦♦♦

Phoebs later, things were still going great.

There was little change in how they acted with each other, minus the occasional “good luck” kiss before missions and stolen moments together when their schedules allowed. They still joked and teased each other, laughing away in order to maintain any sort of levity during the painful reality of war.

That’s where Keith found himself now, standing behind Matt, hand on his shoulder and watching code fly by on the screen.

“Explain that again? Last time, I promise.”

Matt shook his head and chuckled, pointing at the screen again.

“Okay, so the transmission starts here, right?” he began, tapping near a line of code. “All that jumbled mess is encrypted through the Galran systems, so it’s almost impossible to decode.” He looked back, a glint in his eye and a smirk spreading across his face. “That’s where I come in. See, there’s a pattern in there that’s barely noticeable, but once I wrote a program to decode it--” he typed something in-- “then you can read the message!”

Matt was right. As the new code was entered, the screen went from a jumbled string of letters and numbers to a shipment schedule the Galra had sent out. The Rebels could now work with that information, sabotaging any supplies in order to keep the Galran forces weak.

“How did you even-- how long did that take you? To figure it out?”

“Mm.. twenty doboshes, I think?”

“Jesus, okay.” Keith patted his back, still trying to comprehend everything. “Well, I’m glad it’s you in charge of all this.”

“You’re just jealous,” Pidge quipped from the other side of the room, a mischievous smile growing on her face.

Keith rolled his eyes, shooting a look back at Pidge while Matt laughed. He couldn’t keep the glare long, trying to stop his own smile from showing. “So what if I am?”

Pidge went to make a snarky reply, but Matt dismissed her with a wave. “Enough, enough. Don’t you guys have to get going soon?”

“Aw, you want us gone that badly?” Pidge exaggerated a frown, standing from her own seat. “C’mon, Keith, you heard the man.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. The sooner you guys go, the sooner you guys get back. That means more time for both of us to confuse the hell out of Keith.”

The two locked eyes, grinning with delight.

“Nevermind,” Pidge said, “I’m down.”

Keith clicked his tongue, sighing. “Thanks.”

“No problem!” Matt looked up at Keith with a cheeky smile. “Now get over here,” he said, waving Pidge to his work station. “Gimme a hug.”

Without hesitation, Pidge rushed over and pulled Matt into a bear hug, earning an “oof!” in surprise from him. He patted her back, squeezing her tight in his arms.

“Good luck out there. Be safe.”

“I will!”

Matt hummed, then pulled away to look at Keith. “Your turn.”

Keith nodded, leaning down and pecking his lips. Matt squeezed his shoulder, then rubbed his arm.

“Same goes. Don’t cause any trouble, okay?”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Good.” Matt curled his hand around Keith’s own, giving it a long squeeze. Just before Keith let go, Matt kissed his knuckles and smiled. “Now shoo, both of you!”

“Yes, Matt,” the other two said in unison, almost as if on cue. They laughed together as they left the room, ready to gear up for the afternoon’s mission.

♦♦♦

The Red and Green lions made a steady pace towards Xenith, expected to arrive in half a varga.

“Don’t spend any longer there than you need to,” Allura’s voice sounded. The castle’s video was up on both lions, showing Allura, Coran, and Shiro all gathered together in the navigation room. “We’ll need this information sooner rather than later.”

“Copy that, Princess,” Keith said.

“Looking at the map, it shouldn’t take longer than a few varga,” Pidge started. “Keith and I’ll start with the leaders to discuss the plans, and then we’ll snag a few scans on the way out.”

“Wonderful.” Allura smiled. “Keep us updated.”

“Will do. We’ll call in when we start our descent,” Keith affirmed, before cutting the transmission, then switched to the direct line with Pidge. “What’cha got on the planet so far?”

“Looks like the majority of it is covered in forest, but where we’ll be is relatively small. And the capital is snug in the middle, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“Sounds good.”

“Did Allura write a script for you to follow?” Pidge asked, faking her innocence. “We don’t want another--”

“No, she didn’t,” Keith interrupted. “I’ll be just fine, thank you.”

Pidge’s laugh cut through Keith’s speakers, which earned her a disappointed sigh and shake of the head. One more comment like that, and Keith would wring her by the neck-- with love, of course. Nothing like sibling bonding on an alien planet.

They arrived in no time, landing in a small clearing in the forest Pidge had described before. Just as promised, Keith sent a message out to the castle, letting them know they’d arrived safely. Once they met up, Pidge pulled up the map on the hologram device equipped with their suits, taking the lead in directions.

The town was quaint, moving along at a quiet pace. Children played in the streets while vendors lined the sides of them, chatting with familiar customers as they walked by. Every building, although modest, was breathtaking to look at, decorated top to bottom with beautiful murals. Each stone fit together with perfection, showing the true craftsmanship that went into each home.

Though, it wasn’t always like this.

About a decaphoeb ago, Xenith was hit hard by Galra. In multiple towns across the planet, there were raids and bomb showers in order to dominate the people. Towns became completely overtaken by Galra within the movement, and were under control for one too many phoebs. Thankfully, they’d been liberated not too long ago by Rebel forces, but the remnants of the Galra were prevalent in every aspect of their lives.

Underground supply shelters were built, entrances lining the streets with the signature Galran architecture. There were crumbled bricks from old houses strewn throughout the landscape, outposts were still standing, and forgotten weapons were stashed with no intention of using them again.

Still, the people were able to heal. The capital Retrias, where the paladins were now, had gotten back on its feet quicker than most. Allura had reached out in order to provide aid through the Coalition in order to help the rest of the planet. Keith and Pidge were only there to discuss specifics, and, with no surprise, their arrival had been noticed by everyone.

Keith didn’t think he’d ever get used to the attention Voltron garnered throughout the galaxy. As Pidge and him walked through the streets of Xenith, locals watched in shock and excitement at the mere sight of them. He tried not to pay too much attention to it, forcing himself to look straight ahead to their destination of the small capital building.

The paladins were welcomed with open arms, urged to come inside for a long-expected meeting.

“Thank you for taking the time to meet with us,” Keith said, bowing his head in respect.

“And thank you for contacting us,” the leader, named Zorgath, replied. “Our people are more than happy to work with the mighty Voltron and secure the safety of those across our home planet. Shall our meeting commence?”

The two nodded, then were ushered to sit at a long table in order to discuss the important matters at hand.

♦♦♦

“Everything went well,” Pidge said, talking into her receiver. “They’re looking forward to working with us! And they pretty much accepted the Coalition invitation in a heartbeat.”

“That’s wonderful,” Allura replied. “What’s the assumed schedule?”

“They agreed to start accepting supplies within the next movement,” Keith said, “and will continue to make regular trips to pick them up. They have a few places already that they’re planning to ship stuff out across the planet, focusing on the areas hit hardest by Galra first.”

“Splendid. Oh, I’m so glad things went well today.”

Keith could hear the relief in Allura’s voice, which comforted him, in a sense.

“Yeah, Keith even kept his cool!”

Said paladin shot a glare at Pidge, who failed at hiding her devilish smirk. She’d even earned a little chuckle from Allura, which Keith already knew he’d never be able to let down.

“We’ll be heading back soon, Princess,” Keith huffed, knocking Pidge’s shoulder in annoyance. “Those scans shouldn’t take too long to upload.”

“I look forward to seeing them. Good work today, you two.”

The transmission ended with a quick goodbye from both of them, but just as they went to start the scans, another line came through. This time, it was on Keith’s end. Matt was calling.

“Oh, hey! What’s-”

“There’s something headed your way,” Matt interrupted, sounding frantic. “I don’t know what it is, but it definitely isn’t just passing by.”

Keith exchanged a worried glance with Pidge.

“Okay, uh, do you think it’s anything bad?”

“Dunno. I’m checking now, just one sec…,” he muttered, silent for a few moments, before his breath caught in his throat. “Oh, shit.”

“What?”

“Get out. Get out of there now.”

Without question, Pidge rushed to get the attention of Zorgath as Keith continued to get more information.

“Galra?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Keith turned away from the receiver, waving his hands around. “Get to cover! Go, go, go!” he shouted, watching the townspeople beginning to scramble towards the underground storage areas. Thanks to Pidge leaving so quickly, a horn sounded throughout the town, demanding for everyone to take cover. Keith turned back to the receiver. “How much time?”

“Three doboshes.”

“More than I thought, okay. That’s good.” Keith was already running around, ushering lost children to any adult that rushed by.

“Keith?”

Just by the tone of his voice, Keith knew the worry that was rushing through Matt’s head. “I’m okay. Pidge left as soon as you called and notified the leader. There aren’t too many people in town, so everyone should be safe. It’s good you contacted us when you did.”

Another kid was out wandering in the streets, distressed, and Keith scooped her up in his arms before running towards shelter.

Matt breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. Okay, good.”

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Alright. Just don’t--”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Keith helped the kid down the stairs of a bunker, then came back up to check if anyone else was out in the road. “Everything looks okay. I’ll add Pidge to the transmission, too.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” Keith pressed a few buttons and got through to Pidge. “Hey, how’s your end?”

“Good, we’ve got everyone accounted for in my half of town.” Pidge took a moment to catch her breath. “Zorgath isn’t too happy, obviously, but that’s towards the Galra. He’s really glad someone got through so quickly. Thanks, Matt.”

“Anytime.”

“Let’s get to the lions, Pidge.” Keith was already racing towards the clearing they landed. “Matt, go ahead and connect to Red. I’ll see you in just a sec.”

Matt’s end cut out while Pidge piped up. “I’m right behind you.”

“Awesome.” Keith clambered into Red, who was already fired up to go. Just as Keith swung himself into the cockpit, he saw the Galran ship breach the atmosphere. “They’re here. Pidge, you in?”

“Yup!” Both she and Matt, who was looking a little pale, were up on his dashboard.

“Perfect. Let’s kick some ass.”

With two against one, Keith knew it’d be an easy fight. And he was right. The Galra ship didn’t try to defend itself as the lions sped towards it. Within just a few ticks, Red and Green cut through the Galra ship like nothing, giving them sweet victory once again.

“Well, that wasn’t too bad!” Pidge chirped. “The extra heads up was nice.”

Matt smiled through the screen, looking nervous still, but seeming to relax more. Keith locked eyes with him, giving an encouraging smile.

“Told you we’d be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt murmured, lacing his fingers together. “Glad you guys are okay.”

Pidge rolled her eyes, but her annoyance was destroyed by a smile. “I already have to deal with enough sap from you two when we’re at the castle. Can’t I ever get a break?”

With a laugh, Keith shook his head. “Never.” He glanced at Matt with fondness, before turning back to Pidge. “Let’s get those scans and head out. Won’t wanna keep this guy worrying any longer.”

Matt huffed, opening his mouth to say something, before a yell cut him off. Both of them jumped, and Keith spun his attention to the greyed-out, static feed from Pidge’s end. Just outside his windshield, Keith watched as Green plummeted to the ground, smoke trailing behind her.

“Katie?!” Matt turned away from the screen, shouting into the castle, though the audio was hard to pick up.

“It was a fucking decoy!” Keith growled, getting back into gear, Red already moving for him. “Fuck, okay, Pidge-- Pidge, if you can hear me, I’m coming in just a sec.”
All around him, ships began firing at Red from out of nowhere. “Of course they fucking have cloaking, jesus--” Keith shot her laser aimlessly in front of him, spinning around in the hopes of hitting a ship.

“Keith, are you okay?! Is Katie okay?!”

Matt’s voice sounded frantic again, but Keith had too many things to worry about at the moment to keep a calm tone.

“Pidge’s down, I don’t know where, I need to get these guys out first,” Keith snapped, rushing with adrenaline. “I need the rest of the team, now--”

“I already called for them. Allura’s making a warp point now.”

“Thank fuck,” Keith breathed. He groaned as a shot hit the side of Red, causing her to lose balance for a few moments. “Jesus, they’re not letting up.”

“Keith, I’m coming.”

“No, no, you’re not,” he hissed, unable to look at the screen, firing another missed shot. “Matt, don’t you dare-- don’t you fucking dare--” the transmission cut out-- “MATT-- fuck, shit, come on!”

A ship slammed into Red, almost making Keith fly out of his seat. Cursing, he swerved her around and shot, cutting into a ship for the first time since the raid started. The cloaking immediately shut off to Keith’s delight, and he shot it down in ticks. Now he had the rest of the fleet to deal with, however many there were.

Red was taking too much damage, and Keith couldn’t do anything about it. Besides that one ship, his hits never came in contact with any others, which led Keith to assume that either there wasn’t anyone there to begin with, or they could evade every single attack he shot. Whatever pilots they sent out, they were damn good, but now wasn’t the time to compliment their flying skills.

“Can you sense anything, Red?!” A frustrated growl trembled through his body. “Yeah, I’m pissed too. The team should be here any minute now.”

Without warning, a terrifying groan passed through the entire ship as a barrage of shots hit at Red’s armor. Keith watched in horror as the ship began to power down, losing altitude just a few moments later.

Not her engines, Keith thought, then screaming, “Red! Red, come on, girl, come on--” In frantic movements, Keith rushed to get her back online, and tried not to focus on how the trees were getting closer too fast. “Stay with me, Red, c’mon, fuck, FUCK--”

He realized his efforts were pointless. Squeezing his eyes shut, Keith gripped the handles on his seat, bracing for impact.

With a loud crash, his mission came to a close, leaving Keith in inescapable darkness.

Chapter Text

Matt had never been more terrified in his life.

He didn’t care about the danger he’d be putting himself in, the safety of his family was at stake. And if anything happened to them, well.. he didn’t know how he’d cope after already losing them once.

As the rest of Voltron raced to their lions, Matt sped to the hangar where he kept his ship. Though, someone called for him just as he ran up to the ship’s entrance.

“I’m coming too, my boy!” Coran shouted, catching up with him.

Matt didn’t question it, ushering him into the ship and booting up the systems.

“Princess Allura’s preparing the healing pods now. I figured it would be better if there were two sets of hands, just in case..” He didn’t need to finish.

As Matt flew out of the castle and into the warp point, he looked at Coran with a wavering smile. “Thanks.”

Matt’s ship flew close behind the lions as they neared the planet. He was silent, tight-lipped, and gripping the steering controls until his knuckles turned white. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Coran’s concerned stare, but he didn’t have enough strength to try and seem less worried. The lives of his sister and partner were at stake, of course he looked terrified out of his mind.

When they entered Xenith’s atmosphere, Shiro called out through Matt’s radio.

“The team’s gonna take care of the ambush first, you guys get to Keith and Pidge. We’ll be down as soon as possible.”

“Copy that,” Matt choked, snapping back to reality to focus on avoiding oncoming attacks. He looked back to see Coran bracing himself against the side of the ship, trying not to slide across the floor with each jerk of the ship.

“You alright back there?”

“Uhm, yes..!” Coran answered, smile wobbling. “Just, erm, trying--” he burped, then coughed-- “to not regurgitate, my boy!”

“Yeah, uh.. sorry about that. Not much else I can do here.”

Matt winced as he felt a shot graze against the side of the ship. Too close. These ships were brutal, and it only made his stomach turn more at the thought of how Keith was faring. Without Katie, a one-man fight would be impossible.

Panic set in when Matt realized he’d cut off his transmission with Keith before he left. He didn’t know why--maybe because he was in such a hurry or something, but it wasn’t like him to fumble like that with tech. Plus, the fact that Red was nowhere to be found in the air only made Matt’s stomach turn more. Though the answers to his worries were shown the closer they flew to the ground.

Within the forest rose two black pillars of smoke, clouding the surrounding air. He could see the splintering of trees and ragged scratches in the earth from the crash, leaving small patches of flames throughout the torn landscape. Red came first, followed by Green.

“Fuck.” Matt gripped his controls tighter, trying to steady his breathing. “Hey, Coran, I’m dropping you off at Keith. Take a radio with you.”

A strained, “Heard,” came from behind him as he approached the crashed lions. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Coran struggle to the front of the ship, taking a communications device from the dashboard.

Ideally, Matt wanted to save both of them at the same time, but the thought of losing one due to his own stubbornness and heroics wasn’t on his agenda. Thank god Coran had joined him on the ship, or Matt would’ve been screwed.

In an instant, Matt flew close to the ground and opened the dock for Coran to leave. He swallowed any tears as he looked at the wreckage, trying not to get lost in the what if’s. Although Red looked worn beyond belief, glass was shattered everywhere, and fires surrounded her limp body, Matt had to believe Keith was alive. There wasn’t any way he could get through the mission if he didn’t.

With Coran dropped off, Matt didn’t waste a second getting to Green. At the speed he flew at, it only took a few ticks before he landed and sprinted towards the ruins.

“Katie!” he shouted, scrambling up the side of Green’s head. “Katie, are you there?!”

Glass cut through his hand as he made his way through the broken windshield, but his adrenaline took over any pain he could feel. Matt took a quick glance at the blood that gushed down his arm, then turned his attention to the sea of red that covered the cockpit.

That definitely wasn’t his.

Matt choked on bile, staring in horror at the sight of Katie’s unconscious body slumped on her chair. The once-white and green armor was now stained with crimson. Her helmet was dented in, glasses cracked underneath the ruined visor, resulting in a few small scratches across her cheeks. Two prominent gashes stretched across her chest and torso, caused by the shattered glass from the impact of the fall. Blood pooled at her feet, trickling across the ship’s floor with the angle of Green’s deformed head. Her eyes stretched wide in fear, glazed over and shining with unspilled tears.

She couldn’t be dead. There was no way. Just unconscious, probably from blood loss.

“Katie?” Matt whispered, frozen in disbelief. His hands shook as he tried to wrap his mind around the whole situation.

Matt needed to move. Every second he wasted was one less chance he had to save her, even if that was impossible.

He started by taking her helmet off, followed by her glasses. Katie’s head rolled across the seat, but Matt eased it back into place with a trembling hand. His other slid to her neck, pressing firmly against her veins, desperate to feel any sign of a pulse.

Nothing.

“Oh, fuck.” Matt slipped his arms around Katie, easing her to the floor. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-- Katie, hey!” he patted her cheek, biting back tears. “C’mon, please, c’mon, c’mon..”

Maybe the Heimlich could get her back. She couldn’t have been gone that long, right?

Matt pressed his hands against her chest, pushing in short bursts towards her chin. He waited for a few moments before starting again. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched her body lurched with his movements, showing no sign of life no matter how desperate he was to get her back. With each passing moment and no sign of consciousness, Matt grew frantic, tears streaming down his cheeks and his body wracked with uncontrollable shaking.

Subconsciously, Matt knew Katie wouldn’t wake up. Even with everything Matt could do to get her back, it wasn’t enough. She could’ve died on impact-- how long did it take for him to get there? At least 5 doboshes, probably more. There was no way she would have sustained that much blood loss and lasted for longer than ticks. But even with all the logic in the world, nothing could keep Matt from being in denial.

So, he screamed. Louder than ever before. He bundled Katie in his arms, burying his face into her shoulder, shrieking until his throat was raw. His body swayed back and forth as his shoulders jerked with every sob. He couldn’t breathe, but made no attempt to stop hyperventilating, instead holding Katie impossibly closer and burying his bloodied hands in her hair. He screamed her name, over and over and over again, clinging to the fading hope of ever hearing her voice again.

Katie was gone.

Matt wanted to stay here forever, to hold onto her for eternity, but the crackling of his comms ruined it. Coran piped through, though muffled, and broke the moment Matt needed with his sister.

“--tt? Matt? Are you there?”

Peeking his head from Katie’s shoulder, Matt glared at the buzzing device, now full of rage.

“What?” he snapped.

“Erm, the ship, can you bring it back? Number four doesn’t have much time.”

Matt didn’t register what Coran was saying. Everything flew by so fast, the only things taking up his mind were Katie and uncontrollable anger. He could feel his heartbeat pounding through his entire body, and he fought the urge to blow up at Coran.

“Couldn’t you have contacted one of the lions?”

Coran seemed to falter before answering. “They’re still fighting the ambush, but it should clear up soon. I can’t explain any longer, just bring the ship!”

Matt growled under his breath, hoisting Katie up and stumbling out of Green. “Fine,” he called in, “Be there in a tick.”

He kept to his word, no matter how furious he was.

With Katie laid on one side of the ship, Matt flew to Red and waited for Coran to board with Keith. He turned back, expecting to see his partner to be a little banged up, but then the foggy transmission rang through his head.

Oh, shit.

In an instant, Matt’s blinding anger subsided, now replaced with bone-chilling fear. Keith was barely recognizable, slumped over Coran’s shoulder, with labored breaths the only indication that he was alive. Blood streamed from too many injuries and his skin was deathly pale. At this rate, he could be gone any second.

Matt couldn’t save Katie, but with Keith, he had to.

He couldn’t lose both.

Getting back to the castle was a blur. Coran might’ve asked about Katie, but Matt wasn’t sure. All he could focus on was getting the hell out of there in time to save Keith. The rest of the team seemed to be fine, clearing up the last of the ships as Matt broke through the atmosphere. How long were they even there? Doboshes? Ticks?

What Matt did know was that he’d be in charge of getting Keith to a pod. He told Coran to get Katie as they entered the castle hangar, but when he asked if she needed a pod too, Matt couldn’t answer. Coran didn’t press further. He knew.

As soon as they landed, Matt jumped from his seat and lifted Keith into his arms, holding him tight against his chest. In normal circumstances, he probably would’ve struggled to carry him, but this was far from normal. Keith’s life was on the line, Matt could worry about his physical limits later.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured, “stay with me, okay?”

Matt jogged out of the hangar, Coran following close behind. Blood trailed on the floor, causing him to stumble over his feet, almost falling several times from the lack of traction. Keith bounced in his arms, breaths slowing with each raspy drawl of air. They were close. They were so close.

“Allura!” Matt called, speeding into the med room. “Allura, is there-- the pods, do you--”

“Yes, come quick,” she said, eyes widening as she beckoned him forward. “On the table, here. I have suits ready.”

Matt did as instructed, wasting no time to strip Keith of his blood-soaked suit, forcing back his worries as his eyes discovered yet another new cut or bruise. Allura followed, then dressed him in the healing garment in record speed.

“Pidge?” Allura asked, glancing at Matt as they finished up. But she didn’t press further when her eyes met Coran’s solemn gaze, then traveled to find the limp paladin in his arms.

Matt didn’t say anything, only focusing on Keith in front of him. With a few more adjustments, Keith was set to go. Thank god they’d gotten him in the pod in no time.

It was either overwhelming relief or unbearable exhaustion that made Matt collapse to the floor, taking in ragged, heaving breaths. A moment later, he was spilling the contents of his stomach on the pristine floor, hacking in between every inhale. His entire body ached and shook, accompanied by a defeated groan as he heaved up the last of the bile.

Allura rushed to his side, placing a hand on his back and rubbing between his shoulder blades. He began to feel dizzy, swaying back and forth, the only thing holding him up were trembling arms.

The last thing he heard before hitting the ground was Allura calling his name, desperate to keep him conscious.

♦♦♦

By the time Matt awoke, everyone was back and settled. As settled as they could be, anyway.

Matt didn’t remember what happened after he collapsed, but he found himself on the common room couch, head slumped against the armrest and body sprawled across the cushions. As he sat up, sleep clung to muffled grumbles while he clutched his head. The more he came to consciousness, the more his head began to ache, piercing his skull with every slight movement. Eyes sensitive to the light, Matt held his hand above his eyes, hoping to relieve any additional pain to his headache.

“Glad to see you’re alright.”

Whoever was talking to him, their voice was washy in his ears. Matt struggled to turn his head, but became relieved at the sight of Shiro sitting across the room from him.

“Hey,” he slurred, swinging his legs over the side of the couch. “How long was I out?”

“For a while. It’s around midnight right now.”

“Were you here the whole time?”

“For the past few hours, yeah.” Shiro shifted in his seat, not even attempting to hide the concern in his eyes. He looked tired and solemn, eyes red and puffy, a sight that was rare to see. Had he been crying? “How’re you feeling?”

Matt grunted, still shielding his eyes from the dim lights of the castle. “Head hurts. Achey.”

With a hum, Shiro stood. “I’ll get some painkillers and water, I’ll be right back.”

Nodding, Matt slumped against the couch, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He felt only a few moments go by before he was prodded awake, Shiro leaning over him with pills and a glass in hand.

“Oh, hey. That was quick.”

Shiro didn’t say anything, opting to sit beside Matt. He handed the pills and water over, which Matt took without hesitation. He washed them down, taking big, hungry gulps of water. Until now, he hadn’t realized how dehydrated he was.

It was quiet between the two, neither of them wanting to say anything, but Shiro eventually broke the silence.

“Do you remember anything?”

Matt turned to look at Shiro, a little confused. “‘Course I do. We were on a mission, Keith and Katie got in some trouble, we went to go help them out. Coran was with me, and you guys were clearing up the ambush.”

“Yes, but,” Shiro paused, taking a shaky breath and looking over, “what else?”

Frowning, Matt became more puzzled. With his head foggy and his body working through the delirium, it was difficult to recall everything that had happened. He had the main details down, but was still trying to work through what Shiro could possibly mean. Then, Shiro was shaking his head, sensing Matt’s utter confusion about the whole situation.

“Sorry, you just woke up. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“You’re fine, man.” Matt looked down at his hands, staring into the now-empty cup. “I must’ve been real tired. Still am.”

“I bet. Take your time.”

“Thanks.”

Matt offered a smile, looking over at his friend. However, the gesture wasn’t reciprocated, which made his stomach turn. Something was up, and Matt needed to figure out what.

The more Matt began to stabilize himself, the more he remembered. There was lots of yelling, he was panicked beyond belief, and there was incredible urgency he carried throughout the whole mission. After what felt like ages, Matt began to talk again, hoping that Shiro would help to fill in the blanks.

“Something bad happened back there, Shiro.”

The only confirmation was a solemn nod.

Matt rested a hand on his forehead, taking in a deep breath. “There was a lot of blood, that I remember. I was covered. Smoke and fire too, everywhere.” He paused, eyebrows knitting together as more and more continued to flood back. “Red and Green were down, I had Coran make sure Keith was okay. And then I went to Katie, and--”

Hands beginning to tremble, Matt buried his face in them. “She was hurt real bad, she wasn’t breathing, I tried to get her back. Did chest compressions ‘n everything. She looked so scared, Shiro.”

Mouth wobbling and choking on his own words, Matt shook his head back and forth. He felt a hand ease on his back, Shiro’s presence getting closer.

“I thought she was dead. I mean, she was so limp and pale, I just--” he shuddered-- “I’m-- god, it was so bad. And then Coran comm’d me, I had to get back to Keith. Was real pissed, ‘cause I needed more time with Katie, but then when I saw him, I wasn’t angry anymore. He was banged up real bad, blood everywhere too. So much of it.” With another pause, Matt caught his breath, then finished. “Then I got us back to the ship, put Keith in a healing pod, and blacked out.”

Matt could feel the sticky, thick liquid trailing down his arms, as if he was there again. Everything smelled of copper and smoke, making him cough and shudder with discomfort. He felt Shiro rubbing his back, keeping him in the castle, but it couldn’t keep everything from flooding back. He could feel the weight of Katie in his arms, smell the sweat and drying blood on her limp body. Glass was everywhere, her helmet was shattered, and her glasses were broken. The glasses she took to look like him. She wasn’t moving, wasn’t doing anything, and that made Matt’s heart race with indescribable fear. Images of Keith flashed in his head, remembering how the blood pooled at his feet while Coran dragged him along. And then Matt was holding him, raspy breaths the only thing he could hear, minus his own desperate pleas for his lover to stay conscious. Hands raced across Keith’s shuddering body, stripping him of his sweat and blood-soaked armor to change him into the life-saving Altean suit. Matt didn’t even know what happened to Katie, besides the fact that Coran was looking after her, and he was out too soon to be by her side. The castle had astounding technology, so she still had a chance.

Right?

“Hey, easy there.”

Matt snapped out of his state at the sound of Shiro’s voice, jolting in surprise. The hand left his back as a precaution while he returned back to reality. Matt didn’t know how or when, but he’d pulled his legs tight against his chest, arms circled around them. His entire body was wracked with uncontrollable shaking, tears streamed down his cheeks, accompanied by labored breathing.

No matter how pathetic he felt, Matt couldn’t bring himself to relax his tense position. It was just him and Shiro-- he’d seen him like this before. It was nothing new. And yet he begged to go back to the painful memories, their shared trauma at the hands of the Galra, because these circumstances were too much.

This he absolutely could not handle.

A never ending wave of silence passed before Matt had the strength to utter a word.

“Katie’s gone, isn’t she.”

It wasn’t a question, rather, a known fact that he couldn’t bear to face. Up until this point, Matt had been in denial. He’d get her back to the castle in time, hook her up to a blood transfusion, and let her body stabilize before getting her into a pod. But no matter how many times Matt tried to change his memories to line up with how he wanted them to end up, he knew he’d have to accept the reality sooner or later. Not even all the hope in the world could save his younger sister, no matter how hard he tried to bend the science in her favor.

So Matt cried. He couldn’t think of anything else to do but cry. It wasn’t harsh, screamed sobs like he’d wailed in Green, clutching Katie impossibly tighter. Instead they were quiet, breathy, and full of indescribable anguish. Shiro, teary himself, was quick to embrace him, keeping him secure in strong arms as he processed the death of his sister. He’d lost her once and got her back, but this time, he didn’t have that luck. The universe forbade him any solace no matter how hard he fought for the safety of his loved ones.

Matt couldn’t lose any more of his family. He’d die before letting that happen ever again.

Chapter Text

The first thing Keith felt after falling out of the healing pod was complete exhaustion. His entire body dragged him down, nearly pulling him to the floor as weak knees buckled under his weight.

The second thing, or rather things, he felt were desperate arms pulling him into a tight hug. His chest collided with another, keeping him off the ground and secure on his legs.

He knew those arms better than any other. Well, almost.

“Mattie..,” he slurred, drawing his arms up the other’s back. The embrace became tighter, more desperate, even accompanied by a quiet sob through his muffled sea of drowsiness. With as much strength as he could muster, Keith gripped tighter on the fabric of Matt’s shirt. Grunting, he mumbled again. “Matt.”

“Hey, hun.”

Matt’s voice sounded strangled, held back by tears and a congested nose. With a frown, Keith mustered up the strength to pull away, gathering the other’s face in his hands.

Man, did he look awful.

Although Matt was miles further than Keith by keeping in touch with his emotions, it was strange to see him like this. Eyes red and puffy with shed tears, eyebags as deep and dark as caverns, hair messy and unwashed, and his skin deathly pale, it was evident that the mission hadn’t gone quite to plan. Concerned, Keith brushed a thumb over Matt’s cheekbones before pressing their foreheads together, closing his eyes. Matt sunk into the affection, sliding his own arms up to wrap around Keith’s neck. They stayed there together, swaying without a word, knowing they both needed the silence. Though Keith needed to know, had just him staying in the pod caused Matt to end up like this, or was it something worse that he couldn’t explain?

He’d figure that out later, because right now, he needed to sit down.

Almost as if Matt had read his mind, he slipped out of the embrace and wrapped a supportive arm around his waist. “You should get some food and rest.”

Keith could only hum in agreement.

Leaning his weight into Matt, Keith dragged himself to the dining area, before slumping into a seat. He watched as Matt went to get him some goo and water, then sit beside him while keeping a comforting hand on his back. After a small “thanks,” Keith dug into the bowl without hesitation, his stomach taking over for the time being. Though he wasn’t in much pain anymore, those pods had a notable reputation for starving the paladins half to death. He could feel Matt’s eyes on him the entirety of his meal, and that was just more confirmation that something was wrong.

By the end of the meal, Keith had realized no one had come into the dining room. That in itself was fine, but the disturbing quietness around the castle was not. He half expected Shiro to pop around the corner, walking over to clap him on the back with a smile of relief, followed by Hunk holding a tray of culinary experiments and urging him to eat. Or Lance would show up and pester him about having to “save his ass,” of course, but not even he could mask the worry in his eyes. Coran would beg Keith to come in for an additional medical scan, Allura would praise him for his bravery but also scold him for his foolishness. Pidge would be attached at Matt’s hip the entire time, breaking away only to pull Keith in for a bear hug, exclaiming how they kicked Galra ass.

But there was none of that. It was just him and Matt, alone, in the dining room, with no sign of life in the castle. Was he hallucinating or something?

Just as the doubts began to creep in his mind, Matt rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles. “You alright?”

“Hm?” Keith perked up, turning his head to look at him. “Yeah. Where is everyone?”

“It’s late.”

Oh. Right. That made sense, but then again, it worried Keith to see Matt up so late. Especially if he was the one to keep him up, regardless of his condition.

The solemn demeanor Matt carried cracked with the slightest smile. “I know that look.”

“What look?”

“The one you give me when you’re concerned.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “Fine. You got me.”

Humming with his small victory, Matt patted his back. “I’ll answer your question for you: I’m up late just to make sure you got out of that pod okay. Clearly there was a design flaw in Altean tech, because I find it a little unnerving that you guys just fall out of there, especially after recouping for so long.”

“So you wanted to catch me, like in some cheesy romance movie?”

“Maybe.”

Keith snorted, a smile perking up. “Sap.”

Matt didn’t say anything, but his smile stayed. That was just the confirmation Keith needed.

After another moment of silence, Matt stood, keeping his hand on Keith’s back. “You should get to bed.”

“We.” Keith followed suit, using Matt and the table as a support. “We should get to bed.”

Matt didn’t try to protest, instead assuming his original position to help Keith down the hall to his room. Keith wished he could call it their room, but with their hectic schedules, it was rare they’d share a bedroom for more than a weekend. At least they had now, and Keith was thankful for that, regardless of the circumstances.

As they walked, Keith leaned more into Matt’s side. “How long are you staying? I know you planned for just a few days, so I dunno how long you’ve run over schedule.”

“Oh, hun, it’s been over a week. And I’ll probably stay longer, the Rebels haven’t given me a set date.”

Keith stopped dead in his tracks, looking at Matt, eyes wide. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Matt frowned. “You took a bad fall.”

“Apparently.” And then his eyes narrowed again, piercing Matt’s soul. “I swear, if you’ve been there this whole time--”

Matt raised his hand, cutting him off. “I won’t answer that.”

“Matt!” Keith opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off again, this time with a finger pressed to his lips.

“Everyone’s in bed. C’mon, you’re stalling.”

Keith couldn’t retort, no matter how much he wanted to. Matt was exhausted, and he wasn’t going to cut into his rest time, either. So he sighed in defeat, picking up the pace again, approaching his room.

“We can talk tomorrow,” Matt said, trailing behind him as the door opened.

“You promise?” Keith turned to look at him, taking both of his hands.

“I promise.”

With a nod, Keith climbed into his bed, laying on his side. Matt joined him, tangling their legs together and slipping an arm around his waist. Keith curled his hand around Matt’s, lacing their fingers together, pulling it close to his chest and giving it a squeeze. It didn’t take long for him to drift off, glad to be safe in the comfort of Matt’s arms and his own bed.

♦♦♦

It was mid-evening when Keith woke up, still curled on his side as he’d gone to bed. He couldn’t say the same for Matt, who was lying on his back, arms and legs spread out. Keith found it funny, and a little endearing, when he woke up beside Matt in his interesting poses, but still glad to know someone was by his side throughout the whole night.

Within the first few moments of waking up, Keith knew he needed a shower. As to not wake up the other, Keith sat up slow, turning carefully in the sheets. Stretching his leg over his partner, Keith slid out of the bed, but frowning in defeat as Matt stirred.

“Where.. where’re ya goin’?” he slurred, eyes cracking open and swinging a hand up.

Keith sat on the edge of the bed, settling a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “I’m gonna shower.” He took hold of the hovering hand, squeezing it.

“‘Kay.”

Just as quickly as he’d awoken, Matt was back to sleep, easing into the mattress and his hand falling slack in Keith’s own. With a hum of satisfaction, Keith stooped over to kiss Matt’s cheek. He took a few moments to gaze at his stillness, playing with strands of auburn hair in his fingers, before brushing a thumb over his cheek. Matt looked at peace, a rare sight to see.

Keith didn’t want to waste any more time getting to the shower, needing to scrub the grime off his body. He was still in the original skin suit from the healing pod, with remnants of dirt and blood on the outside, and it begged him to question: if Altean tech was so advanced to heal any and all wounds in a short amount of time, shouldn’t it be able to clean, too? Regardless of cleaning tech or not, Keith couldn’t deny the wonderful feeling of a shower right after a hectic mission.

Although he’d been missing the presence of everyone in the castle, Keith wanted to get to the shower as fast as possible with no one interrupting him. Plus, it allowed Matt to sleep in silence while not leaving him for too long. It was the perfect strategy, if only his plan wasn’t foiled by Hunk appearing in the hallway.

Almost immediately, the yellow paladin was overcome with strained joy. “Keith!” He stretched his arms out, closing the distance between them and bringing him into a secure hug. “Aw, man, it’s so good to see you doing alright.”

Keith didn’t have much say in the hug, but he didn’t regret that Hunk pulled him in for one. He wrapped arms around his back, although a little unsure, before giving him a few reassuring pats. “Yeah, good to be out of that pod.”

“I bet.” Hunk relaxed his arms, instead holding Keith by the shoulders and looking at him with a relieved smile. His eyes were tired, sunken in, but he still attempted to maintain an air of normalcy. “I was just on the way to try something new for dinner. You coming?”

“In a bit.” Keith looked at the bundle of clothes and towel in his arms. “I’ll see if Matt’s up for dinner after I’m set.”

At the mention of Matt, Hunk’s smile faltered for just a moment. “Sounds good. I’ll see you guys there, then.”

“Yeah.” After a moment, Hunk’s arms left his shoulders, before he moved past to get to the kitchen. Turning, Keith watched as the paladin left, a frown on his face. So he wasn’t just imagining things about the castle.

Without wasting any more time, Keith made his way to the showers. It didn’t take long for him to strip and get settled into one of the stalls, releasing a sigh of relief as he was doused in warm water. Opening his eyes, he watched as the water pooling at his feet became murky, dried blood and grime finally coming off his skin. Blood had coagulated in extreme amounts on his chest and waist, taking more than just the water pressure to wash off. After taking a moment to scrub the areas clean, Keith trailed his fingers over four new scars that etched into his skin. Sickness rose in his chest, his heart picking up a few beats, eyes locked on the aftermath of Xenith. No wonder he was in that pod for so long. He hoped Pidge was better off than him, knowing he’d feel more than just shame for letting anything happen to her during a mission.

After the initial rinse, Keith gave himself the luxury of deep cleaning every inch of his body, scrubbing in slow, circular movements with heaps of soap. He had nothing to do and nowhere to be, so he indulged in the opportunity to take as long of a shower as he needed. He was entranced by the gentle rhythm of the water streaming through his hair, making great waterfalls down his back. The steam circled around his body, pulling him into a dreamlike state, almost floating in pure bliss at the feeling. Melting in the warmth, Keith was nearly lulled back to sleep, eyes closed and expression serene.

It felt like hours had gone by when Keith emerged from the shower, soaking wet. Shaking the water out of his hair, he dried the rest of his body with a plush towel, then dressing himself in warm, clean clothes. With slippers on and the dirty suit in hand, Keith made his way back to his room to check in on Matt.

Opening the door, Keith poked his head in, expecting to see Matt’s sleeping form shrouded in darkness. He frowned when he saw the bed empty. Dinner, probably. Before leaving, Keith dropped the suit and towel in the corner of the room, then made his way down the hallway. He could hear voices in the kitchen, so he sped up his pace to see who it was.

Keith peeked into the room, smiling as he set eyes on Matt and Shiro. He went to make his presence known, but stopped, not wanting to interrupt the ongoing conversation. Their backs were turned to him, both leaning against the counter, with Shiro’s hand settled between Matt’s shoulder blades. The air was stiff between the two, and from what he could see, they both looked solemn. Matt was teary.

“How’s he handling it?” Shiro asked. In response, Matt lowered his head, shaking it.

“He doesn’t know.”

“What?” Shiro took his weight off the counter, turning to look directly at the other. “Matt--”

“What did you expect me to do?” Matt snapped, locking eyes with Shiro. “He came out of that pod after a week, barely conscious, and you want me to drop that bombshell on him?”

The hand that was resting on his back slid away, cowering in Matt’s ferocity. He wasn’t finished.

“Did you have an ideal timing? Or did you just expect me to say, ‘Oh, hey, by the way, Katie’s dead. You almost were too!’ fresh out of the pod when he can’t even stand on his own?”

Shiro stammered, backing away as Matt, with tears streaming down his face, inched forward.

“Matt, you know what I mean.”

“Do I? Because you’re doing a pretty shitty job at explaining what you want me to do.”

Whipping around, Matt made his way out of the door, but stopped in his tracks.

Keith was still there, taking in every word, but believing none of them. He stood frozen in shock, wide-eyed, locking his gaze with Matt’s. He paled, unsure of what to say. Matt had to be joking, right? Not that he would joke about anything like this, but there was no way Pidge had to be--

“Oh, hey, Keith,” Matt started, wiping his tears away. “Uh, have you-- have you been here long?”

Keith stayed dead silent. Matt’s face fell, and Shiro came up behind him. Before either of them could get a word in, Keith sped back down the hallway, making a beeline to Pidge’s room.

“Keith!” Matt didn’t hesitate running after him. “Keith, please, let’s just talk about this!”

Without a response, Keith stopped in front of Pidge’s room, slamming the button to open her door. Not wasting a second, he ran inside, standing in the middle, shoulders heaving with the intensity of his panting as he dragged his gaze across the room-- the very empty, devoid-of-life room, untouched since Pidge had last stayed.

Keith was still silent, feet cemented to the ground, trying to grasp onto anything that might have disproved her absence. Pidge wasn’t in her room all the time. It was dinner, so she had to be eating with the team, or maybe she’d take the meal with her to the lab to run a few lines of new code. Plus, Matt was still staying, and they were inseparable when he was at the castle.

Just as he was turning to search every inch of the castle, he was met with Matt standing in the doorway. A look of disbelief settled on his face as he stared Matt down, waiting for him to unveil the surprise of Pidge still alive at the castle. But instead, all that was exchanged between them was uncomfortable, tense silence, staring hard into each other’s souls.

It was Keith who spoke first, shattering the quiet after what seemed like hours.

“I’ll check the lab if you look in the dining room.”

“Keith.”

“She still has to be here, I know she doesn’t always stay in her room. Have you asked Hunk if he’s seen her?”

“Keith..” Matt took on a somber frown, taking a step towards him.

“No, Matt, don’t do that to me. Don’t you do that to me.” Keith tightened his lips, stepping back, hands beginning to shake. “You’re fucking with me. I don’t know what kind of sick prank this is, but you’re fucking with me. I know you are.”

“You know I would never--”

“I know!” Keith shouted, balling his hands into fists. “I know, I know, I just..” he trailed off, voice cracking, feeling his heart break into pieces as he tried to comprehend everything.

“I’m sorry.” Matt stepped forward, holding his hands out, inviting his touch to Keith. “I wish I was making it up.” Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, but he didn’t brush them away like last time.

Keith hesitated before taking Matt’s hands, feeling their strong, grounding embrace around his trembling fingers. His legs became weak, shaking under the weight of the truth. Voice soft and raspy, Keith mumbled, “I think I need to sit down.”

“Okay.” Matt moved beside him, slinging his arm around his waist and pulling him into his side. “I’ve got you.”

Keith leaned into Matt, taking slow, methodical steps to his room. His eyes were cemented to the floor, his thoughts clouded with disbelief. By the time he made it to his bed, he couldn’t even stand, collapsing into the mattress on his side.

With gentle hands, Matt rubbed Keith’s arm, then gave it a quick squeeze. “Do you need some time?”

Keith nodded.

“Alright. How about I come back in a little bit with something to eat?”

He nodded again.

Leaning down, Matt kissed his temple.

“I’ll be back. I love you.”

With one final nod, Keith watched as the light from the hall disappeared, Matt leaving with it. Left alone in the darkness, the first of many tears slipped down his cheeks.

Never in his life did he think he’d mess up this bad.