Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hello, Inej,” said Kaz Brekker, sidling up to the bar. He may have been in a gang, may have been best known for bashing people’s skulls in with his cane and ripping their eyeballs out with his gloved fingers, but he was also her best customer, and was never anything but unfailingly polite.

She nodded her greeting. It was late in the afternoon and the pub was slowly starting to fill up. She had a long night ahead of her, and she was already exhausted.

“Pint of best for me, love” he said, and she began to pour it, tipping the glass to keep it from foaming.

“How have you been?” he asked. His eyes burned into her, even though she wouldn't meet his gaze.

“I’ve been well, thank you,” she murmured. He stared at her for another moment while she filled the glass and set it on the bar.

“Anything else for you?” she asked, putting on her customer service voice.

“You look tired, Inej” he said. “Are you tired?”

She bit out a tight smile at him. “Long week,” she said, and he nodded.

“Take care of yourself,” he said, before tipping her five pounds and going to sit with his goons at his usual table.

When she was sure he wasn’t looking, she dropped her head into her hands. She was bone tired, but couldn’t afford to sleep. She had been working this job for two months now, on top of working at the Menagerie. She had finally worked it out that it would take her over fifty years to pay off her indenture to Heleen, and had picked up a barmaid job to try and fast track that. At her current salary, she had only about five more years to go until freedom.

“Was he bothering you?” the owner asked her, appearing at her side. She straightened up and shook her head.

“No, Tom, it’s fine.”

“You be careful, girl.” Tom said. “He’s a right bad’un, is Kaz Brekker.”

“Of course,” she said. If Tom knew about how she spent her days off, he would probably classify her as a “bad’un” as well. She’d be out of a job in an instant.

When Tom wandered back over to his end of the bar, she reached out and grabbed the five pound note, tucking it into the front of her blouse. It was the same as she made in a whole week in The Crow and Cup, and she couldn’t let Tom catch wind of it, lest he dock her pay.

***

“Where’s Korstin?” the man asked, red faced and angry.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” she said, taking a discreet step back from the bar. “Korstin got married a few months ago, she doesn’t work here anymore.”

The man thumped his fist on the bar, exasperated, as if this is somehow Inej’s fault. She glanced aside and accidentally locked eyes with one of Brekker’s friends, a man by the name of Fahey, she thinks. She rolled her eyes almost imperceptibly at him. He was half Zemeni, and probably also had to deal with this sort of thing on the regular.

“Well I want a pint. Do you understand that? I want. A pint. Of beer.” He sounded the words out in a crude approximation of her Suli accent.

She bit her tongue and reached for the glass, pulling the pint as quickly as she could in hopes of moving him along peacefully.

“It’s probably tainted,” he said when she handed it to him, taking a deep gulp. And then, he spat it into her face. She gasped as warm beer and spittle splashed into her, soaking the front of her dress and the loose strands of her hair.

She spluttered for a moment, and the man tipped his cup, pouring the rest of the beer out onto the bar.

“Pull me another,” he said, and threw the glass at her. She dodged it, narrowly, and it shattered against the ground at her feet.

Her hands flew to her mouth and she froze in place. She knows men like this, has served them at the Menagerie for the last several years, and the memories come flooding into her, petrifying her.

“Are you simple?” he said, leaning across the bar so she could smell his rancid breath. “I said pull me another, bitch.”

“What did you just say to her?” came a pleasant voice from behind the man, and Kaz Brekker appeared around him.

The man paled, and stepped back hurriedly, running into a massive man, one of Brekker’s sidekicks.

“I...I was just asking for a pint,” the man stammered, as a mean looking girl in trousers stepped around him to stand at Brekker’s side.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Brekker said. “You called her a rude name. No one gets to call my girl names like that. And look what a mess you’ve made.” He gestured around to the spilled beer and smashed glass.

“Here you are, love,” he said, reaching across the bar with a handkerchief in his hand. Inej plucked it from his fingers without looking at him, and wiped it across her face.

“I think you should apologize.” Brekker’s voice was still pleasant, but there was a shock of ice and venom in it. There was no mistaking the danger he posed.

“I-I’m very sorry, girl” the man said.

“Her name is Inej.”

“I’m very sorry, Inej,” the man said, shaking with fear.

“And what are you sorry for?” Brekker leaned casually against the bar, as if he and the other man were simply discussing the day’s catch.

“For, for calling her a name?” the man asked.

“Oh you did much more than that,” Brekker said. “You spat beer in her face, smashed a glass, mocked the way she speaks, and generally made a mess. And, you called her a name.”

“Come on, friend,” said Fahey, slinging an arm around the man’s shoulders and clapping him on the chest. “Let’s you and we go outside and have a little chat about manners.”

Fahey steered the man from the pub, followed by the big man, the mean looking girl, and Brekker, who tipped his hat at Inej before exiting the bar.

Several hours later, when she had cleaned up and recovered herself somewhat, Fahey strode back in, his hat tipped at a jaunty angle on his head.

“Hiya, love” he said, leaning down onto the bar so their eyes were on level with each other. “I’ve just come to drop this off.” he slid a ten pound note across the bar. “Payment from Kaz, for the glass and the beer.”

“I can’t accept this!” Inej exclaimed. “It’s far more than the loss was worth.”

“I’d take it if I were you,” he said. “I only narrowly managed to talk him out of sending you that prick’s eyes in a box.”

“Oh, well, thank you for that.”

“Yeah, hardly the romantic gift he seemed to think it would be.” Fahey scoffed.

“I don’t understand why he’s doing any of this for me.” she said.

Fahey shrugged. “He’s taken a shine to you. There’s no rhyme or reason to why Kaz does the things Kaz does. Just be glad you’ve landed on his good side.”

She nodded, and he stood back up.

“Can I offer you a drink?” she said. “On the house.”

He glanced around.

“Mm, I shouldn’t. I’m on the job.” He sighed. “Alright, go on then. Give me a shot of something strong.”

He threw back the shot she slid over to him, and then straightened his hat. He gave her a mocking salute, and then sauntered back out again.

***

“What’s that on your face?” Brekker asked, leaning across the bar to get a better look.

Inej ducked quickly, so that her hair swung in between them, obscuring the bruise around her eye.

“Just a pint for you today?” she said, trying to distract him.

“Let me see.” He said, low and rasping. He reached out and gripped her chin with his gloved fingers, turning her face to his.

“Is that a bruise? Has someone hit you, Inej?”

She had tried to cover up the black eye with makeup, but clearly she hadn’t done a good enough job.

“It’s nothing, Mr. Brekker,” she said, her face still in his grip. “I just walked into a door frame.”

The lie had worked on Tom, but she could see that Brekker didn’t believe it.

“Has someone hurt you, Inej?” he asked again. “Tell me who it is. I’ll gut him. I’ll slit him open stem to stern like a fish.”

For a second, Inej considered telling him the truth. What would he do then? Leave, probably, and never return. She found that she didn’t want him to. She kind of looked forward to his visits, and she definitely didn’t want to lose her best customer.

“It’s fine,” she said. “Can I get you something, Mr. Brekker?”

He tapped his cane once on the bar and turned to leave. “Call me Kaz,” he said, just before he ducked through the doorway and left.

She deflated a little. She had been hit by a customer at the Menagerie two nights ago. She had been hit several times, in fact, the black eye was just the only visible one.

Life under Heleen’s fist was grating on her. She didn’t think she would survive another four years of it. She winced as she shifted her weight. This last customer had been brutal in many ways, and yesterday she’d had to go see her GP because she was in so much pain.

He’d given her something called a hematoma, apparently, in her down-belows. It was a bruise full of blood, and the doctor had had to slice it open to drain it.

She still felt sore and tender, though, and would be back on shift at the Menagerie that night. She allowed herself to lean her head down onto the bar for a moment, and take several deep breaths. And then she straightened up, fixed her skirt, and pasted a smile onto her face. Four more years and she’d be free. Less, if Mr. Brekker kept tipping her so well. If Kaz kept tipping her so well, she corrected herself in her head.

***

“Ugh, I’m starving!” Mr. Fahey complained as he wandered into the pub in Kaz’s wake. They were accompanied as usual by the big man and the mean looking girl, and all four of them were soaked to the bone.

It was pouring down rain outside, had been for hours, and Inej pitied them. They had clearly been caught in it. That would be her fate, too, if the rain didn’t stop in the next hour or so.

They leaned up against the bar as they ordered, looking as exhausted as she felt, and Inej slid a pile of tea towels towards them.

“Don’t drip all over my clean floors,” she said, as she turned her back to fix their drinks.

They took the towels and their drinks gratefully, and Kaz slid her his usual tip before they went to go settle in at a nearby table.

The pub was fairly empty that day, and Tom was upstairs fast asleep, so she ducked into the kitchen and served up four bowls of soup. The soup wasn’t particularly great, but it was warm and thick and savoury, and she imagined that none of the bedraggled criminals in the front room would say no to some.

She tore off a few chunks of bread and loaded the whole lot onto a tray, wending her way through the tables to deliver it, where it was gratefully received.

Her shift ended only a quarter of an hour later.

“Tom!” she hollered up the stairs. “It’s three o’clock! I’m leaving!”

He yelled something unintelligible back down to her, which she took as an acknowledgment. She untied her apron and draped it over the end of the bar.

“Thanks for the soup and the towels, love” the mean faced girl said as she made her way past their table. “Total lifesaver.”

“Oh! You’re welcome.” Inej said. “It’s not like there was anyone else in here to eat it, so I’m glad it didn’t go to waste.”

“Are you leaving?” Kaz asked.

She nodded.

“It’s still pissing down out there.” he warned.

“I know,” she shrugged. “I’m not too far.”

“Let me walk you,” he said, already getting to his feet.

“I’ll be fine, really” she couldn’t let him see where she lived.

“No, here, I have an umbrella. Do you have your purse? Good, shall we?”

“Really, Kaz,” she said. “That’s very generous of you, but you should stay and finish your soup.”

“Nonsense, Inej,” he said. “I’m not going to let you catch cold cause you walked home in the cold.”

“I won’t get ill, I’ll be fine. Really, stay.”

“I’m walking with you,” Kaz said. “Unless you’d like to wait while I call for the car. You seem eager to get home though, so shall we be off?”

“You’re not going to win this one, love” Mr. Fahey said from the bench. “You’re just wasting your own time.”

Rolling her eyes, Inej headed for the door, ignoring Kaz’s presence behind her.

He offered her his arm as he opened the umbrella outside, and she took it, somewhat reluctantly.

They walked in an awkward silence for a time. Inej steered them towards the boardinghouse where her friend Nina stayed. It was about as respectable as one got, in the Barrel, and would make a decent enough cover. Nina had lent her a key, so she would be able to go through the front door like a true tenant, and Kaz wouldn’t suspect a thing.

If she hurried, she would probably still be able to make it back to the Menagerie in time, even with the detour.

“You need a better coat,” Kaz said after a time. “The weather is not kind in Ketterdam, and that one looks as though it’s about to disintegrate.”

“It’s fine.” she said shortly, although she was trying to hide her shivers under it.

“No, it isn’t.” he said, and they walked the rest of the way in silence.

“There now, was that so hard?” he said as they drew to a halt in front of Nina’s boardinghouse.

She didn’t answer, turning to go through the gate, but he caught her wrist. He drew her back and pressed a kiss to her cheek before releasing her.

Her cheeks flamed red as she ran up to the door and let herself inside.

She watched out the window until she was sure he was gone, and then ran up to the top floor. She wished she could stop and see Nina, but the grandfather clock in the hallway told her she was already running late.

She shimmied out the window and up onto the rooftop, skipping over the shingled buildings until she dropped down into the alleyway outside the Menagerie. It stank of old garbage and unwashed bodies, but she remembered the scent of Kaz’s body still. He had smelled clean. She could smell the soap he used on his hair, and his spicy aftershave, and the damp wool of his collar. She let the scent fill her up as she raced through the Menagerie and dressed for her shift, preparing for another night of hell.

***

Nina knocked on the door of her small room early in the morning a few days later. Inej’s last client had left only an hour or so earlier, so she was bleary eyed as she opened the door, pulling her dressing gown tight around her body.

Nina stood with a large flat box in her arms.

“This came to my boardinghouse yesterday,” she said, pushing past Inej into the cramped room, and laying the box on the bed. “It has your name on it.”

Inej stared at the box, sleepy and not quite comprehending what was going on.

“Well, go on then, open it!” Nina said.

Inej did, and found a beautiful blue wool coat folded inside. It was so dark that it was almost black. She could tell it was quality made just by looking at it. Atop the coat lay a single white rose, slightly wilted now, and a card.

Stay warm, Inej
-K.B.

“Who’s it from!” Nina cried, peering over her shoulder. “Who’s K.B.?”

Inej plucked the rose out of the box, holding it to her nose and inhaling its sweet scent. She lay it on the dresser with the card, and then closed the box.

“Take this, will you?” she said, handing it back to Nina. “Keep it for me.”

“What?”

“I can’t keep it here, Heleen will take anything of value from us.” She sighed. “Just keep it safe for me, Nina. I’ll come reclaim it from you someday.”

***

The Crow and Cup was unusually crowded for a Tuesday afternoon. A storm had delayed the container ships that were supposed to have arrived that week, and she was left with a pub full of dockworkers with nothing to do.

She was tired, and sore, and had been looking forward to a peaceful afternoon shift. Instead, she dealt with nonstop orders and customers.

“Hello, Inej” said a familiar voice behind her. She turned to find Kaz leaning up against the bar. Of course he was here, today of all days.

“What can I get for you today?” she said. There was a headache pounding behind her eyes.

“You look sad today, Inej” he said in lieu of an answer. “Are you sad?”

“No,” she lied. “I’m just peaky.” She gestured around at the crowded pub. “Haven’t had a moment to take my dinner yet.”

He stared at her for a moment, evaluating.

“I would like to order a basket of chips,” he said finally, which was out of character for him. Inej was too tired to care, though, so she went and placed his order with Tom, and saw to some other customers.

Kaz slid the basket of chips back to her when she placed them in front of him.

“Eat.” he said, gesturing to the crispy golden chips.

“I can’t, Kaz, I’m working.” she said.

“You won’t make a very good barmaid if you faint from hunger,” he said, and she caved. The fact that she was hungry hadn’t been the lie, and the chips looked irresistible.

She glanced around, but Tom wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so she popped one into her mouth, nearly burning her tongue.

“That’s better.” Kaz said. “Isn’t that better?”

She nodded, and took another one.

She leaned against her side of the bar and let her eyes fall shut as she chewed. Which was why she didn’t notice Kaz reaching out until his fingers were already at her neck. She tensed, going cautiously still, but he just grabbed the end of her silk scarf, rubbing it in between his gloved fingers.

It wasn’t an accessory she typically wore, but she had knotted it around her neck that morning out of necessity.

“This is pretty,” he mused. “I haven’t seen it before.”

She remained utterly still, petrified of what he might do next.

“Won’t you give it to me?” he said. “As an object of your affection?”

“No, Kaz, I can’t -” she started, but she was cut off from a shout down the bar.

“Oi, Miss!” a man yelled over at her. “Could I get a refill?”

“Just a moment!” she shouted back. Kaz’s deft fingers were already untying her knot and slipping the scarf from her neck. Her hand flew up to cover the marks, but it was too late.

He caught her wrist and yanked her hand away, staring at her neck. She knew what he was looking at, she had gazed at it herself in the mirror that morning. Dark bruises in the shape of fingers circled her neck. It was obvious someone had choked her, there was no other possible explanation for how she could have been hurt. She had tried to come up with something to say in case of this exact scenario, but there was nothing even remotely believable.

“Who is hurting you, Inej,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, Kaz.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said. “This is hardly the first injury I’ve seen on your body. Who is doing this to you?”

“Really, Kaz, it’s fine.”

The hand that wasn’t holding her wrist slammed down on the bar, and the whole pub fell silent, turning to look at the two of them.

“It is not fine, Inej. Who is doing this to you?” His voice was rasping and quiet, but it carried through the whole pub. “Do you have a boyfriend? Is that it? Some man who doesn’t know to keep his hands off a lady?”

“That’s not it, Kaz, it’s really nothing, I’m just clumsy…” she trailed off, staring at him helplessly.

“I will find out, Inej,” he said. “I always do.”

He dropped her hand and turned, leaving the pub with her yellow scarf still dangling from his fingertips.

***

Inej was sweeping up after hours when she heard the bell on the door chime.

“Sorry, we’re closed!” she called.

“I know,” came a familiar voice. She looked up to find Kaz standing before her, his cane clasped before him in both hands. She hadn’t seen him or any of his Dregs in the two weeks since he’d taken her scarf, and she had been starting to think that she wouldn’t ever see him again.

“Sorry to bother you after closing,” he said. “I just need a moment of your time.”

“Of course,” she said, crouching down to sweep her pile up into the dustpan. “Do you mind if I keep cleaning while we talk? I’m almost done.”

“Inej,” he sounded very close to her. She looked up to find him kneeling before her, their eyes level. He was holding his gloved hand out, and something gold glinted in his palm.

“Will you marry me?”

She crouched on the ground, frozen with the dustpan and broom still in her hands. She was utterly bewildered.

Chapter Text

“Will you marry me?”

She crouched on the ground, frozen with the dustpan and broom still in her hands, she was utterly bewildered.

“Kaz...what?” she said. Before he had come in she could hear the sounds of the street filtering in through the front door, but now the whole world seemed perfectly still, as if time had frozen around them.

“Someone’s hurting you,” he said. “Let me take you away from all that. If you were my wife I could protect you, keep you safe…” he trailed off.

“Kaz, you can’t marry me just to keep me safe,” she said. “I can’t even begin to tell you how ridiculous that is.”

“I don’t, I can’t” he struggled with his words for a moment. “I don’t think I know how to be a husband, Inej, but you make me want to try.”

She stood, leaving the dustpan on the floor, and looking down on him.

“Kaz…” she said. She was almost tempted to accept his offer. But there was still the matter of her indenture, of the debt she owed to Heleen. Marriage wouldn’t just make that disappear.

He reached out and grabbed her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger. It was a braided golden band with a ruby glinting on it, and it fit her almost perfectly. She liked the weight of it there.

The Menagerie loomed over her.

She slid the ring off and tried to give it back to him.

“I can’t, I’m sorry” she said, but he wouldn’t take it.

“Is this because of your boy? The one who hurts you?” He said. Maybe it would be best to let him believe she loved some other man. Maybe that would be the easiest way to let him down.

“Yes,” she said, her voice catching on a sob. “I...I love him, Kaz”

“I will kill him, Inej,” he said. “You hear me? I will kill him for you.”

“No, Kaz,” tears were forming in her eyes faster than she could blink them away.

“If you were my girl I would never hurt you,” he said. There was a fevered frenzy in his eyes. “You wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore, Inej, I would keep you safe.”

“You can’t keep me safe,” she said. “No one can.”

She held the ring out to him, but he took her hand in his instead, closing her fingers around the gold band.

“I got it for you,” he said. “Even if you won’t be my wife, it is still yours.”

He used his cane to lever himself to his feet and limped out the door, leaving her standing with tear tracks down her face and a ring clutched in her sweaty palm.

***

She strung the ring onto a necklace chain and wore it around her neck, hidden under her blouse. Kaz stopped coming to the Crow and Cup, but she still saw some of his friends from time to time. Mr. Fahey, and the big man, and the girl, who Inej had learned was called Anika.

And life wore on.

Tom brought another girl on to help behind the bar, named Daishya, and each day in the Menagerie felt as though it stole another year of Inej’s life.

Daishya liked to sing, and the Crow and Cup was filled with music most evenings, her clear voice ringing out above the voices of the dockworkers and the factorymen who inhabited the pub.

Inej was leaving late one night, wrapping her threadbare coat tight around her shoulders. Springtime never seemed to come to Ketterdam, and she mourned the brilliant summers she had once known.

She was mere blocks away from the Menagerie when a familiar tread fell into step with hers.

“Good evening, Inej,” Kaz said quietly.

“Are you following me?” she didn’t turn to look at him, but kept her eyes fixed straight ahead.

“No,” he said. “I just saw you out walking, and thought you could use a bit of company.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“This isn’t the way back to your boardinghouse,” he said. “Are you lost, Inej?”

“No,” she said. “Just clearing my head after a long shift,”

“You can’t lie to a liar, Inej” he said, but luckily did not pry. They walked in silence for a few moments, Inej quietly steering them away from the Menagerie, as if she were looping her way back towards Nina’s.

A cold wind blew down the dirty street and Inej wrapped her coat tighter around her body.

“I could have sworn I gave you a new coat,” Kaz said. “Something more...substantial.”

“You did.”

“I hope you haven’t stopped wearing it out of guilt over my proposal,” he said. She had not thought they would speak of that, this night, and he threw her off by bringing it up.

“No, of course not Kaz” she said.

“Then why are you out here risking cold and chill when you have a much more suitable alternative?”

“This is the Barrel,” she said. The best lies were rooted in the truth. “If people see me wearing something like that, they’ll think I have money. I’ll become a target.”

“Nah, you won't,” he said, swinging open the gate for her. “It’s known roundabouts that you’re under the protection of the Dregs. People will leave you alone if they know what’s good for them.”

She made her way up the walk, Kaz at her side. Was that true? Why would she still be under their protection, after she had rejected their leader?

He paused with her on the stoop, leaning in close. His lips brushed feather soft over her cheek. Unlike the last time, though, Inej did not pull away. She allowed herself a moment to breathe in his smell: the soap on his hair, the aftershave on his collar.

He gazed down at her, his eyes shadowed in the darkness.

“Pull out your best frock, love,” he said. “I’m taking you to the fair this Friday.”

“Kaz, I can't,” she said. “I’m working.”

“Not if I say you’re not,” he said, doffing his cap and turning back down the path. “I’ll let Tom know you’ll have the night off.”

That wasn’t actually where she would be working on Friday, but did she have a choice? What would he do if she didn’t turn up?

***

In the end, she was able to bribe Aileen into covering for her. Heleen would make her pay for it, but that was a problem for later.

She wore her nicest dress, a red one a client had given her as a gift, once. It happened occasionally, that a client would fancy himself in love with her and shower her with presents. It usually ended in tears, but she did have a few nice things hidden away.

She was late, of course. She’d had to sneak out of the Menagerie, which was difficult to do in the dress, and then she’d had to take the streets back to Nina’s boardinghouse, rather than the rooftops, which resulted in her running up the block to find Kaz and a few of his dregs already gathered around her door.

Nina was leaning in the open doorway, a cigarette dangling from her lips.

“Ah, you see boys?” she said when she caught sight of Inej. “I told you she would be back soon.”

Fear sliced through her. She hadn’t thought to include Nina in the ruse. Had she told Kaz that Inej didn’t live there? Had she let it slip who Inej really was, who she really worked for?

“I told them how you left your bracelet at the Crow last night, and how you’d had to run back and grab it.”

Relief surged up through her chest, Nina might actually have been a saint.

“Oh, yes,” she said. “I’m so sorry to keep you all waiting,”

“Nonsense,” said Kaz. “We only just got here. Are you ready?”

She nodded, and he opened the car door for her. She slid into the passenger seat and Kaz sat beside her. Mr. Fahey, Anika, and a redheaded boy Inej did not know slid into the back, and the rest of the Dregs clambered into a second car.

The ride was loud and raucous. At Mr. Fahey’s urging Kaz had turned the stereo up high, and the three passengers in the back were hooting and hollering and singing along at the top of their lungs.

Kaz was silent beside her, but she could feel contentment simmering within him. The sky hung low and grey outside the windows, but inside the car the sun shone bright. They rattled along the dirt road. Kaz had a cigarette held between his lips, but he had not lit it. She thought, glancing at him from the corner of her eye, that she might have even caught a hint of a smile around it.

They arrived at the fairgrounds early in the day. It was sparsely populated, and most of the rides weren’t running yet. Kaz helped her out of the car, and offered her his arm as they wandered across the field, the Dregs spilling out on their heels.

“Why did you bring me here, Kaz?” she murmured as they stopped to watch a man wander by on stilts.

“I wanted to spend the day with a pretty girl on my arm,” he said. “Is that so wrong?”

“You and I both know you could have picked any girl in the Barrel for this little outing, Kaz. You know I am not free.” It was true. She wasn’t free, even if he thought she was referring to a different sort of captivity.

He gave her a sidelong glance, but did not say anything.

They wandered through the tents and exhibitions for a few moments, stopping to admire the performers occasionally.

And then they turned down an empty lane between tents. Almost empty, at least. Three men stood facing them, tire irons and crowbars clutched in their fists.

“Ah, forgive me, Inej,” Kaz said, drawing to a halt. “It appears I have some business to tend to. Will you wait here for a moment?”

He was striding forward before she had time to answer him, His hat drawn low over his brow and his cane clutched in his fist.

He acted as if he were only stepping aside for a quick chat, but it was obvious this encounter would end in bloodshed. It would be three against one. She glanced around desperately, but none of the Dregs were in sight.

Ahead of her, Kaz drew his cane back and slashed out at one of the other men. Inej toed her heels off and scurried up the tent pole beside her. Travelling over tents was nothing like running over sturdy rooftops, but as long as she balanced her weight right and made sure to keep her toes on the poles themselves she should be fine.

She observed from above for a few moments. Kaz was more than holding his own, and one of the men was already lying prone on the ground, unconscious. Or dead, perhaps. Kaz was focused on one of the other men, and was winning, but the third attacker had circled around behind him. He was drawing his tire iron back to strike when Inej made her move. She dropped silently from the sky, landing on the man’s back. He staggered back, crying out, and she hooked an arm under his chin, wrapping her legs around his waist to stay balanced.

He shoved an elbow back into her ribs, clawing at her legs in an attempt to fight her off. She was winded, but managed to stay on. She tightened the arm around his neck until his air was cut off. He scrabbled uselessly at her arm with thick fingers, but soon enough he was falling to his knees, gasping and choking. He fell forward with a thump and Inej’s knees hit the ground painfully. She remained hunched over him for a moment, her arm around his neck to be sure he wasn’t faking it, and then sat up.

Kaz was looking down at her. He had lost his hat and his hair was a mess. He held his cane loosely in his left hand and was looking at her consideringly.

Self consciously she rose to her feet, stepping off the body of the man she’d taken down, and brushing off her skirts. Her stockings had run in both legs, and were smudged with mud and grass stains.

She stood before him, panting a little, standing in the grass in her stocking feet.

***

“It’s interesting, you know?” Kaz said as they sat at the top of the ferris wheel. “I did some asking around. No one seems to know this boyfriend of yours.”

“What?” she said.

“This man you claim to love, who knocks you around. No one seems to know anything about him.”

He looked straight ahead as he spoke, and she stared down at the ground below their feet, white knuckling the bar of their carriage.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said finally.

“It would seem, also,” he said, as though she hadn’t spoken. “That you don’t spend much time at that fancy boardinghouse. It’s like you appear and disappear in the backroom of the Crow and Cup. You hardly seem to exist outside its walls.”

She was shaking, a little. Could he feel it?

He reached out and took her hand, the leather warm against her skin.

“No bracelet,” he murmured. Her eyes snapped down. Her wrist was bare. They both were.

“It would seem your friend at the boardinghouse was lying,” he said. “What was her name, Nina? Awfully brave of her, to lie to us.”

She snatched her hand back.

“So you are a wraith of a barmaid, who doesn’t appear to live anywhere and can’t be followed. And then today I watched you make an impossible climb and win a fight against a man twice your size.” His eyes were fixed once more on the horizon as he spoke. “You are quite the enigma it would seem, Inej,”

“I grew up in a travelling circus,” she said finally. Maybe if she gave him part of the truth he would forget about the rest of it. “Not unlike this, actually. I used to be in all sorts of acts. Tumbling, and trapeze, and silks. But my favorite was always the high wire.”

She took a deep breath. This was the first she’d spoken of it since she’d been snatched away a few years ago, and she had not anticipated the longing it would inspire in her.

“That’s why I can climb and balance so well.” she shrugged. “It’s in my blood.”

***

Inej sighed as she wiped down the sticky bar. It was raining outside, the way it always was in Ketterdam, and it had been a long slow evening. A few of her regulars and a couple of career drunks were scattered around the pub, but she wished they would leave. If they did, she would be able to sit down. Heleen had beaten the soles of her feet for leaving without permission. Worse, she had beaten Aileen as well, for covering for Inej. She felt unbearably guilty for the marks striping the soles of the other girl’s feet, and each step was an agony.

Kaz appeared across the bar from her, and rapped twice upon it to get her attention. She turned, plastering on her smile.

“Yes, Kaz?” she said. “What can I get for you?”

“Just a pint for me, love,” he said. “I’m waiting for Jesper.”

Inej nodded, and turned to grab a clean glass. Kaz studied her as she pulled the pint.

“You’re walking funny,” he said. “Why are you walking funny?”

“No I’m not,” she said, trying to even her gait.

“You weren’t walking like that the other day,” he said. “What happened, Inej?”

“Nothing,” she said, sliding his beer across the bar to him. “Look, Mr. Fahey arrived.”

Kaz didn’t turn to see, just stared at her analytically.

“I will find out, Inej,” he said finally. “I always do, one way or another.”

And then he turned to go sit with Mr. Fahey and the redheaded man.

***

Inej was dancing, on the little cramped stage in the corner of the Menagerie. Her feet still ached and smarted, bare against the wooden floor, and her stomach was exposed. The pins holding her lehenga onto her head dug in painfully, and the headache was building behind her eyes.

She hated dancing here. Inej remembered watching her mother dance, lithe and graceful. The movements of her hips had been smooth and mature, and Inej had longed to dance like her.

Now she did, and it just felt lewd, the greedy eyes of the customers locked onto her bare flesh.

She wore bangles on her wrists, and bells on her ankles, and heavy eyeliner on her face. Her skirt reached to the floor, but she wore nothing beneath it. When she spun it would flare up, revealing her bare legs and bottom to the watching men.

The music was all wrong. It didn’t sound like the pipes and drums her father and uncles had played around their campfires, but was loud and blaring. It grated on her ears as she extended her arms and twirled. She moved her hips from side to side and stamped her feet, lowering her face and allowing her true expression to flash across it for a moment.

The she sucked in a breath, fixed the serene and mysterious look back on her face, and spun back to face the room. And then she froze. There in the back, glancing up from a conversation with Heleen, was Kaz Brekker.

She froze for a long moment. There was a rushing in her ears and all she could see was his face. His eyebrows raised a little in surprise, and then furrowed deeply, but other than that he did not react visibly.

Slowly, the sounds of the room filtered back to her. Her audience was booing and calling out for her to start dancing again. Kaz rapped on the table and turned to leave, and Inej stamped her foot, whirling back into the dance. Her heart was sinking, though. What would happen now?

***

It didn’t take her long to find out. She was swamped at the Crow and Cup. It was typically crowded for a Friday evening, but Tom had sent Daishya home a few hours ago, because she kept sneezing on customers.

She ran back to the kitchen to shout an order to Tom, then whirled back around and found herself face to face with Kaz.

“Kaz,” she said, unsure.

He didn’t say anything.

“Can I help you, Kaz?” she said. Maybe they could just pretend that he had never seen her. Maybe he hadn’t recognized her.

He stood there in silence, so she ducked around him and strode back behind the bar. He followed her, ducking under the divider and blocking her in. He drew a few odd glances from the other patrons, but everyone was just drunk enough to not care and besides, no one was going to tell Kaz Brekker that he wasn’t allowed behind the bar.

“Kaz!” Inej exclaimed in surprise when she turned back to see that he had followed her. “What -”

“So you’re a whore,” he finally said. “You’re a whore in Heleen’s employ.”

“Keep your voice down!” she hissed, glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to them.

“You’ve been lying to me.”

“Please, Kaz, you can’t say anything,” she pleaded, desperate to buy his silence. “Tom will fire me if he finds out, I need this job.”

He nodded slowly.

“Please, Kaz, I only have a few more years until I can buy myself out, but only if I keep my job here,” Tom appeared at the kitchen door, and she reached out to grab Kaz’s wrist. He stared down at her hand, and then looked slowly back up to meet her eyes. “Don’t tell him, Kaz, please, I’ll do anything.”

He shook her hand off and held out a folded piece of paper.

“I won’t tell,” he said. “But I want a favor in return. Come to this address at half past eleven.”

She nodded and grabbed the paper, slipping it into her pocket.

He tipped his hat at Tom and turned to go, leaving her standing alone behind the bar with shaking fingers.

Chapter Text

The address Kaz had given her was a little chapel, tucked into the end of a street in the Barrel. She crept inside and found Anika waiting for her in a pew. She watched for a few moments, but no one else seemed to be around, so she dropped silently into the pew beside the other girl, who startled visibly.

“Saints, but you really are a wraith!”

“What do you mean? “ Inej said, dropping her head to murmur a quick prayer. This chapel was built for Ghezen, not her saints, but a holy place was a holy place at the end of the day.

“Kaz has started calling you that. The Wraith.” Anika replied. They were alone in the church, but the two girls kept their voices hushed anyway. “I think he’s trying to turn you into the city’s collective nightmare, or some such thing.”

Inej pondered this for a moment. She couldn’t really fathom why he wanted the city to fear her.

“Anyways,” Anika said. “We should be off!”

Wordlessly, Inej followed her down the aisle and out into the cool night air. They walked for only a few blocks until they came upon a small shuttered shop. Anika stepped up to the door and jimmied the lock, stepping back to let Inej go in before her.

It was a dress shop. There were a few mannequins scattered about, looking uncannily human in the darkness, and the counter was piled high with buttons and frills and sewing notions.

Anika closed the door behind them and hopped over the counter, ducking through a curtained doorway. Inej followed behind to find a small room lined with curtain rods. Dresses of every shape and color were neatly lined up and arranged.

“Well?” Anika said, already stripping out of her trousers and blouse. “Pick one out!”

She started rifling through the gowns, pulling out a dark green one and holding it up to her body.

“What do you think? You like it?” She asked Inej, who nodded noncommittally. "Oh, come on! Yours is the opinion that matters here!"

"It's lovely," she said, still not clear on why Anika even cared what she thought.

She grabbed the dress closest to her, a sky blue one with pearl buttons going up the front, and started to pull it off it’s hanger.

“Oh, no,” said Anika. “I don’t know how things are done in Ravka, but white," she said, a gleam in her eye. "Is traditional in Ketterdam.”

She snatched the blue dress away, and steered Inej instead towards a rack of pure white ones.

***

The ring weighed heavy on Inej’s hand. It kept catching her eye every time she reached for something, the ruby glinting in the light.

Jesper held the door open as she ducked her way into the Crow and Cup. He had been sent to accompany her to hand in her resignation.

Tom was at the bar when they came in, and the pub was relatively full for a weekday afternoon.

“You here for your paycheck?” he grunted at her when they came in.

“Yes,” she said.

“I’ll need you to pick up an extra shift tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “Daishya can’t make it.”

“I’m afraid our Inej is no longer in your employ,” Jesper said, leaning against the bar across from Tom. “Seeing as how The Crow and Cup don’t employ married women.”

“You married?” Tom sneered at her. “Since when.”

“Last night,” Jesper said for her. “A love like her and Kaz’s, it couldn’t wait another moment. You know how it goes.”

“Brekker,” Tom scoffed. “I warned you, didn’t I. He’s a right bad’un and you shoulda stayed away. And now look at you, knocked up with his brat no doubt,”

“I’d be careful with your words,” Jesper said, the teasing tone gone from his voice. “Don’t forget who you pay for protection ‘round these parts. You keep speaking that way about Mr. Brekker and his wife, and you might just lose the comfort you’ve enjoyed for all these years since the war.”

“Besides,” Inej cut in. “I’ve been a whore in Heleen Van Houden’s collection these past several years. I know you make weekly visits to see Kassie on the third floor. My husband is hardly the only bad’un to have walked these floors.”

It was the first time those words had crossed her lips, my husband. They did not feel as alien as she had expected them to.

Tom snarled at her, shoved her pay in an envelope across the bar, and pointed threateningly at the door.

“Out, both of ye.”

***

The wedding had been odd, to say the least.

After selecting their dresses, Anika and Inej had returned to the chapel where they found Kaz, Jesper, and a priest waiting.

Inej did not know where Kaz had found a priest willing to perform a wedding ceremony past midnight, but everybody was for hire in Ketterdam. She supposed the better question was what the priest’s price had been.

She had met Kaz halfway down the aisle, where he had coolly surveilled her up and down.

“You’ll do,” he had said.

“Is that all?” she managed to squeak out, still feeling as though she had missed a step on the way down the stairs.

He had rolled his eyes.

“You look radiant, my darling,” he had drawled. “I must be the luckiest man alive.”

“Why are you doing this?” she had asked, instead of responding to his bait.

He plucked a flower from the bundle she held in her hand and stepped forward, trying to fix it into her hair.

“I approached Heleen about buying you out,” he said. “But she got petty. Refused to sell me your indenture, and when I threatened her she enacted the right to auction.”

He glanced down at his watch.

“In approximately six hours the exchange will open and your indenture will become a part of the open market. However, if you are wed before that time then your spouse has the legal privilege to interrupt the auction with a fair price.”

He stepped back, admiring his handiwork.

“Perfect. Shall we?”

Dumbstruck, Inej had taken his arm and followed him the rest of the way down the aisle.

***

“You need to learn how to fight,” Kaz said one night as they sat in their little parlor.

“I can take care of myself,” she said, not looking up from where she was tailoring a new blouse to fit her.

“Be that as it may,” he said. “Being my wife puts you rather more in the path of danger than you were in previously. I need to know that you can take care of yourself, should the need arise.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“Do you have any knives?”

“You doubt me, Wraith?” he drawled, standing and crossing to his desk. He reached into a drawer and withdrew a roll of fabric, which he untied and flattened out to reveal several gleaming knives.

Inej followed him to the desk and plucked one up, evaluating the weight in her hand.

“Go stand by the door,” she said.

He looked down at her, raising a single eyebrow.

“Go on,” she said again, and he did, placing his back to the door.

Quick as a viper, Inej took up three more of the knives. She threw them at him, one after another, and heard a satisfying thunk as each found its mark. She added in a spin before the last one left her fingers, just because she could.

Kaz stepped away from the door, admiring her handiwork. Two of the blades had landed on either side of his neck, just above his shoulders. One had found its mark just below his groin, and the last one had landed just beside his face.

He turned back to her, a quizzical half-smile on his lips.

She shrugged.

“I told you I grew up in a circus,” she said. “Knife throwing was one of my acts.”

“I can see that, my darling,” he said. “I’m still teaching you hand to hand combat in the morning.”

***

“I’m to take you to The Menagerie, next” Jesper said as they left the pub together.

Inej froze.

“Not like that,” he said, grabbing her elbow to drag her along. “Kaz just wants you to get your things.”

“I don’t have any things,” she mumbled.

“I understand not wanting to go back,” he said, opening the car door for her. “But I’ll stay with you the whole time, you have my word.”

“No,” she said. “I don’t have any things. Heleen owns it all.”

“But, your clothes, your...personal effects,” he said. “Surely you must have something.”

“Heleen buys everything we need,” Inej said. “It’s one of her tricks to keep us from buying our freedom. If a girl somehow saves up enough money to buy out her indenture, Heleen will present her with a bill. Clothes, makeup, food, laundry service for the linens, everything. In the extra month or two it takes the girl to save up and pay it off, she’lll have come up with a whole new list of charges.”

“What about that coat Kaz bought you?” Jesper said. “She can’t lay claim to that.”

“I left it with Nina,” Inej said. “So she couldn’t get her hands on it.”

“Nina,” he mused. “Your friend who lives at the White Rose?”

Inej nodded.

“That’s where we’ll go then.”

***

If the wedding itself had been odd, it was nothing when compared to the wedding night.

Kaz had quietly brought her to the Slat, the boardinghouse where all the Dregs lived, and shown her up to the top floor of it. He brought her into a little parlor room, furnished with a few chairs and sofas arranged before the fire grate, a large desk, a bureau, and a bed in the corner. There were two windows, one over the desk and one over the bed, but they had no curtains.

“You can dress for bed,” he said, gesturing to the bureau. “I asked Anika to pick out some things for you. Nightgowns and such.”

This was an unexpected turn. Most men didn’t feel the need to change her outfit before they took her, but she did not question it.

She hoped he would be gentle in bed, given that she had just tied herself to him for the rest of her life.

He turned his back and started removing his own clothes, stripping off his coat, jacket, and vest. Inej cleared her throat quietly.

“I need help with the buttons,” she said.

Kaz looked over his shoulder at her, and then laid his vest atop the armchair with the jacket and coat. He walked over to her, took her by the shoulders, and turned her about so she faced the wall.

His fingers were light across her back as he made his way down, his breath warm on her shoulder.

She felt inexplicably shy, a ridiculous emotion for a whore to experience on her wedding night.

When he reached the bottom, the leather sliding over the small of her now-bare back, he stepped away.

“Do you require any more assistance?” he asked in his rough voice.

She shook her head, and felt him step back away from her.

When she was dressed in a plain white nightgown, her hair once more in its customary braid, she turned to find him dressed in loose linen drawstring pants, and a soft looking cotton shirt, with long sleeves. It was the first time she’d ever seen him without his black leather gloves on, she realized.

The shirt was odd, most men she knew preferred to sleep bare chested, or in a wifebeater, but she did not comment on it.

“I prefer to sleep nearer the door,” he said, gesturing to the bed, so Inej slid in first, pressing herself to the far edge against the wall.

He climbed in after her, leaving a solid two feet of space between their bodies, and blew out the lamp on the bedside table.

They lay in silence for several heavy moments.

“I told you before, that day in the pub,” he said, finally. “That I do not think I know how to be a husband.”

She did not say anything in response.

“This is…” he trailed off. “I do not know…”

She listened in the darkness as he struggled with his words, trying to form them without knowing which ones he was reaching for.

“I - goodnight, Inej,” he managed at last, and rolled away from her, shoving both hands under the pillow and feigning sleep.

Inej lay in the bed, pressed against the wall, and pretended to sleep too.

The two of them passed most of the night that way, but at some point in the early hours of the morning, she must have slipped into a true sleep.

When she woke, light was streaming in through the windows, and her husband was lying on his side facing her. They still were not touching, but the space between them had lessened considerably during the night.

He reached out with one hand when she opened her eyes, slowly, as though she might shie away like a horse. He ran it down her braid, feeling over the crosses of hair, and then rested it upon the curve of her hip, over the sheets and quilt.

Slowly, cautiously, he leaned his head forward. He closed his eyes and pressed her lips to hers. It was different from every kiss she’d ever experienced before. There was no movement, no intent, hardly even any pressure. Just the warm presence of another mouth against her own.

It lasted only a few seconds, and then he pulled back.

His eyes remained squeezed shut, and his breathing was labored, as though they had done much more than kiss chastely in their marriage bed. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but he left his hand resting atop her hip.

It was his presence there that gave her the courage to reach back to him. Gently, using only her fingertips, she carded her fingers through his hair, careful not to touch his head. They had lain like that for several minutes, almost touching but not quite, and then the spell had broken and they’d risen to begin their day.