Chapter Text
There are very few things certain in life. Life being one of the first and most prominent one. To be certain is to be aware and to be aware is to be alive. The next thing is death, for all things have an ending. To start is to finish, even if it isn’t to one’s specifications.
Will was very aware of these certains, as well as a few more.
One certain he knew deep down was that he would always be both overshadowed and put on a pedestal for his parent’s achievements in life. Being the only son of two very prominent musicians only to have mediocre musical talent at best was a hard mental hurdle to overcome.
His entire life growing up he always had the mindset to become exactly like his parents. It’s what everyone in his life expected, so why wouldn’t he? He had to of been blessed from the start; going to shows with his parents, being surrounded by some of the best musical minds in the world.
To be good at music was demanded, but he was certain he would never live up to the standards set by those around him.
Another certain was no matter how low he felt, his grandma made the best apple pie he had ever tasted. It was like a slice of heaven on earth. She clamed that no one could be sad when eating and she put that theory to the test, day after day. A scoop of ice cream and you could never feel anything less than content when consuming it.
And on April 9th, 2020, at 4pm, the last thing Will was certain was that he was utterly and truly in love with his best friend.
Now, it wasn’t some big crescendo he expected it to be. It wasn’t some giant build up that suddenly made everything clear.
No.
He remembered it so clearly when he thought back to it. It was his laugh, his smile.
To Will, Nico was the brightest light in the world. He made everything make sense. There were times when all he wanted to do was just be close to him.
Will had just broken up with his short-term boyfriend at the time and Nico had decided that they were all going to go out and help him feel better.
To his surprise, Will hadn’t really been all that upset when the breakup occurred. If anything, he felt relieved.
Will knew he cared for his past relationships, he really truly did. He wished zero harm on any of them. But looking back, watching Nico throw some wrapper at Piper who had just made a comment on his dirty jeans, he really understood.
It wasn’t a rush when he realised.
It just felt right.
Realising he was in love with his best friend was like reading a book. He started it at noon but by the time he looked up, it had gotten dark so he flicked on the lamp. Everything just… lit up. His world held a bit more colour, a bit more warmth. It was subtle, as if it has always been there. Nico had always been there.
So, as he watched as his friends shouted and raced down the street, Will could only observe. Things had made sense, and this he was certain of. But falling in love with your best friend was anything but certain.
It was harsh and cold and lonely. He couldn’t tell him, so he watched from afar. Nico was a raging fire and despite the hypothermia kicking in, Will still refused to step any closer in fear of getting burned.
So he smiled, he stayed behind, he pushed it aside and down when needed. Nico was his best friend, the last thing he would do to him would be to hurt him. And if that meant staying by his side, silently and reserved, then that would just have to do.
Life, death, expectations, pie, and love. All these things were certains – guaranties – in Will’s life.
So, imagine Will’s surprise when he opened a notification from Nico after school, asking him to be his fake boyfriend.
Death Boy
I have a proposal for something I think would be funny.
You
Sure. What is it?
Death Boy
You and I start dating and go on one date. After that you break up with me so I can listen to Olivia Rodrigos album with the full emotional set up.
You
You
Want us to date?
Will just stared at his phone, shaking his head as he waited for Nico to reply.
Date.
He wanted Will to fake date him.
Did… did Nico know?
No, he couldn’t.
Could he?
No. Impossible.
And yet…
Death Boy
Just for like a day.
I want to feel the album at its full force.
How you should listen to it
You know?
You
Okay that’s funny!
Um, sure??
Like, we go on one date and I break up with you?
Death Boy
Exactly
Then after I finish we just go back to being friends
You
Hahaha, okay
Sure
I think that’s really funny
Death Boy
I thought so
Thanks dude
His heart was racing, his palms were sweaty. Will swore everything was floating by.
Over a year of harboring these unrequited feelings and out of the blue suddenly Nico wants to fake date? What brought this on? Why him? Every time he tried to piece together something that made sense, he was left with even more questions.
You
Np!
So
Does that mean we’re dating right now?
Dating – even fake dating – was enough to leave Will thoughtless. He was nervous – God, he was nervous. There aren’t enough words for Will to think of to describe how he was feeling in that moment.
Nervous was one, yes. Excited? Confused? Joyous? Bubbly?
His thoughts were swarming him with incoherent ramblings.
If they were dating, how far could he take this? How realistic? It’s fake, but where was the line?
Oh, shit. What if he crosses a line he doesn’t even know existed?
Would Nico be grossed out if he held his hand? Wrapped his arm around his shoulder?
Sleepless nights of imagining dates and scenarios that involved Nico liking him back overwhelmed him next. He felt light, but he knew soon he would fly too close to the sun and his wings would burn up. But why was he to care? He was freezing and Nico was willing to give him a glimpse into the world of summertime.
Will felt stupid, feeling a twinge of hope from this. Nico had done some pretty weird shit and Will had always been down for the ride. He knew his best friend never took things truly seriously, so why would this be any different?
Death Boy
I guess??
To be fair I didnt think this far ahead
You
Hahaha
Okay, that’s fine!
So boyfriend, when’s our first date?
;)
Maybe that was pushing it?
Will waited a few moments before quickly typing out another response. God, he felt desperate.
You
Wait!
Question
How far are we taking this? Cause that will depend on how these next few days go.
Cause like
If it’s just one date and done, easy.
But are we speed running the entire relationship stage in one go or…?
Death Boy
Umm
I guess it really depends on what you wanna do??
I was just gonna say one date and done
But obviously you have some ideas
You
Not gonna lie, I’m lowkey pumped for this.
I think this is the funniest idea you’ve had.
Yeah okay, I have some ideas.
Just let me handle this.
Get ready Nico for the best week of your life!
You are going to be SO prepared for this album!
Death Boy
pfft
aight
You
I can’t wait to break your heart
Death Boy
Counting down the days!
You
:D
With shaky hands, Will managed to set his phone down. Seconds passed before he finally moved.
He ran his hands over his face, wondering if things were going to start making sense.
Date.
Nico.
Boyfriend.
Fuck.
Will pushed himself up and off his bed. He needed something – anything - and staring at his phone was only going to keep him stuck in the same cycle.
He could do this. A week, the perfect date. Will couldn’t be more prepared for this. He always chastised himself for it but he had been planning this for the past year, and if this was the one and only time he could finally see some of this through, then by god he was going to use it.
Will knew this was going to be selfish, using Nico’s joke to his full advantage, but he couldn’t help it. He was never going to get another chance to act out one of his biggest self-indulgent fantasies. It would be painful, but it would be enough. And if he played his cards right, he might leave with more than just a good time.
……….
Will had picked up this hobby of writing in a journal from his sixth-grade teacher. It had been an assignment to keep notes about your life; things that interested you, assignments, and thing you just didn’t want to forget. It was quite calming for Will and he kept it going long after the class assignment was over.
Originally, he would go through three to four journals a year, but as time pressed one, he really learned what was worthy of having pages upon pages dedicated to.
But as he sat in art class, the page blank and pen anxiously in hand, he exhaled sharply. He could feel the words jumbling up inside his head. They were scratching to get out, but the moment he pressed the tip to the paper, nothing. It was stalling. He was fighting the need to get these words out, but the connection wouldn’t work.
“Dude, Texas, you looked zoinked, what’s up?” Rachel asked.
She took her usual seat next to him, her oversized flannel hanging off her shoulders as she threw her backpack beside her. It was paint stained and ripped in every possible way, but it was stitched up with random threads and patches.
Will shook his head and closed the journal, sliding it over as he ran his hands through his hair, pulling on the strands.
Just earlier, he had seen Nico for the first time since he had asked them to “fake date,” and it was a lot harder to keep it together. There was a very strict line he had to follow involving the fact that he was both in love with his best friend and have to fake date him at the same time. He can’t let him know, despite being right there.
“Nothing,” he sighed, clasping his hands together and turning his chair to face her.
He out on the fakest, cheesiest smile he could think of, but her blank face spoke enough to how little she believed him.
“Loser,” was all she said.
“Hey,” he called back, frowning, “I am not.”
“Yeah, you are.”
Will shrugged her off and pulled out his art book for class. He slipped his journal back into his bag during this progress, taking out his pencil case and setting it beside him on the desk.
The two of them worked in silence, Rachel, every so often, looking over to make some comment on his piece. He knew he wasn’t the best artist, but he thought his colour composition was fine.
A few minutes into the block, Rachel huffed and turned to face Will who looked up at her in confusion when she furrowed her brows.
“Why are you staring off and smiling like an idiot?”
“I’m not an idiot.”
“Stop avoiding the question,” Rachel said, putting her pencil down.
Will felt his ears heat up but he had been playing this off for months, he could easily get out of this.
“Can’t I just be happy and have nothing happen?”
“No, and you’re a terrible liar.”
If only you knew, Will thought to himself, but bit his tongue when he almost verbalized it.
The two of them stared off until Rachel shook her head and turned away, going back to her piece without a second thought.
Will took in a deep, shaky breath as he turned his attention back, too. He wasn’t being careful enough and soon he might slip up. That was the last thing he needed.
There was a point he debated telling Rachel about his crush, a close friend that wasn’t attached to his main friend group and didn’t know Nico personally. She knew about him, of course. Will found it almost impossible to not talk about him. Even before he realised his feelings for him.
Rachel wouldn’t go around and tell everyone. She would make fun of him, no doubt. But spill his secret? She wasn’t like that and for that he adored her.
Will was pulled from his thoughts when a pencil was suddenly way too close to his face.
“I know you’ll tell me soon, but whatever it is, don’t go full Will on it, ‘kay?”
Will frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“You know what I mean.” And with that, Rachel pulled her pencil back and went back sketching.
Will shook his as he tried to pay attention back to his piece. But all he could do was bite his lip.
…….
As Will waited in line, it took everything in his power to keep his heartrate down. His chest was pounding and he thought he was going to die.
He was over doing it, yes. But Nico wasn’t telling him to back down, so until then, he was pulling out all the stops.
It’s my only time to have him the way I want him, he told himself, so take all you can while you have it.
It was so selfish and could still feel the tingling of skin from where he had wrapped his arm around Nico.
God, he was in too deep. Will just had to keep it together until Saturday and then he could go back to putting up the barrier he built to prevent himself from slipping. But how bad could a little self-indulgent act be?
There was a small part of him that wished maybe Nico had feelings for him and that was what this whole fake dating thing was for. Maybe, just maybe, Nico’s heart raced like his own. Maybe – by god, just maybe, Nico stayed up a little later than he should thinking of him. But it was all a dream he made up in his mind when he wanted to feel better about this situation.
He would never tell his best friend. He would be there for him, no matter what. And hopefully, one day, these feelings would vanish.
Will had been praying that they would have dissipated, but they only grew stronger over the past year. He had only tried to date once after realising he was in love with Nico, and that ended with massive heartbreak on both sides. It had been a small fling with a boy over the summer, but three weeks in and it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
It was like force-feeding himself when all he wanted was water. He felt gross holding his hand, sad that it wasn’t the slightly too-cold ones he had brushed up against many times before.
And the worst of it, when he would text Nico, he felt like he was cheating, as well as the other way around. Will couldn’t win. He was using the guy to try and push his feelings down, but he was just stringing him along, making himself feel like shit in the process.
Will had gotten to the front of the line and the lunch lady smiled at him as she asked for his order. He told her he wanted a large fry, instinctual at this point because he knew Nico would always steal them.
Will never felt bad for always buying a large if it meant Nico would steal from him. If he couldn’t be with him, he would show his love in other ways.
He thanked the lady as he paid and headed back over to the table where he caught Jason giving him a look before quickly glancing away. He slid back into his spot beside Nico and snaked his arm around him again. His chest tightened, but to be in that moment forever, the things he would give.
“So, this is happening, I guess,” Jason spoke as he reached over and grabbed a fry.
God, I wish it was.
“Get your own fries, Grace.”
…….
Will noticed his house always felt a little colder when Nico was gone. He loved his place, God, did he ever. But when his dad was out and it was just him, he always found joy in having Nico over.
Will tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter and huffed. He stood there for a moment, in the silence, a single kitchen light still on as the dusk swept over the city skyline. It was breathtaking, but Will just felt numb.
He wasn’t sure if it was because of everything going on or the fact that he still hadn’t caught up to it yet, but everything was starting to look new to him. He guessed it was a bit of both.
Shaking the feeling off, he grabbed a glass of water before heading off to his bedroom.
He jumped onto his bed, setting the glass on his nightstand before scrolling through his phone. He played back the videos he managed to get earlier in the day, watching them all through once. With a huff, he swiped up and pulled up TikTok, pressing his flooded notifications button.
Like usual, there was a mountain of likes, comments, and follows. He didn’t care all that much about having a bigger audience, but he did enjoy it. It was the closest thing he had to being able to relate to his parents, even if his “fame” sort of came because of them.
He had posted a TikTok comparing his parents to him and the rest was history. At first, lots of people came to see his mom and dad, but soon he grew an audience of his own. More recently, his content was shitty videos he made with his friends. Quite a few of them involved Nico saying something totally out of pocket, not even aware that Will had been recording the entire time.
He got comments often about his friends like people asking if Piper’s father was really who they thought it was, why Frank put up with them, and if Nico could be in more videos. Nico didn’t have much of an online presence, so what little he did was mainly on Will’s page.
Checking out the comments, he scrolled through a few of his older videos, smiling at the memories. The things his friends did always surprised him, like the time Piper, Nico, and Hazel all dressed up like Pit Bull for a BBQ. That day they learned never to trust Jason with a grill.
cheetagirls083
Yo, what’s that guys @???
sabussy
Idk who ur friends are, but where can I get some???
A split second later, Will had a thought. It was a tiny thought, but it bugged him none the less.
He bit his lip and sighed.
Will spent the next hour mixing and mashing together a bunch of clips over the past few years that he had saved. Maybe it was the recent events that made him this sappy or it was his loss of control, but he couldn’t stop watching it.
It was like a collage of his and Nico’s friendship over the years, mix and matched together into a neat, fifteen second video. He smiled.
When he posted the video, a part of him screamed that it was a stupid idea, but he didn’t care. Nico was his best friend and it was his way of showing how much he cared. Plus, people actually wanted to know him. Will would scream at the top of his lungs to the whole world how much he cared about Nico if it meant proving himself. This was the closest he could come to that.
A few moments after posting, he got the notification that Nico had commented.
user2278666968
ur a dork
Will replied: Only for you :D
“You are so fucking stupid,” he muttered to himself as he refreshed his page, watching the video again. Maybe one day he would be able to rationally explain his actions, but this was not the day.
He was so screwed.
……
The farris wheel seemed like a good idea at the time, but when the ride stopped, Will had never felt more nervous before in his life.
He had done it. He had taken Nico out on the perfect date, the date he had been mentally planning for months. Okay, to be fair, it was every date he had imagined taking Nico on all rolled into one. There was a bittersweet hum to the moment as the cold nighttime was starting to cool his burning cheeks.
He snuck a glance over at Nico who looked breathtaking in the wind and neon lights. He was haloed by a vivid burst of colours, painting him in brilliant beauty.
When the ride came to a stop, Will looked back ahead.
“You know,” Will started, “when you asked me to do this, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I mean, yeah, I had some ideas of what to do, but like, how do you go on a fake date, you know?” Will turned to look back at him and he had never been happier to be where he was in that exact moment. He smiled and looked back ahead. “So, I stopped thinking of it as a fake date. That would just be cheesy and over the top. Making it as close to real was the best option.”
He paused, realising what he had just said. He started to laugh nervously hoping to play it off.
“I was so nervous. I hadn’t actually been on a date in so long, for a second I thought I forgot how to.” Will could feel the wind blowing his hair in his face, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. “But being with you isn’t like being on a date. I’ve done that, plenty of times. Those are routine, structured. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure what we were doing until we just starting… doing.”
Will realised he was too far into whatever he was saying, so as his heart raced, he went with it. He raised their joint hand and imagined it had always been like that.
“There was a moment I thought I was going a bit to far, you know? Like, ‘is this really necessary?’ or ‘is he getting uncomfortable?’ or ‘is this too weird?’. I wondered that for a while, each time I might have over stepped.”
The warmth from Nico was almost chilling. He rested their connected hands beside him and squeezed, needing to make sure it was really there and his eyes weren’t just playing tricks.
“There’s something to say about hanging with you, dude. I don’t know if it’s because schools been rough or we just haven’t had everyone together in a while, but I think this was the most fun I’ve had in a long ass time. Like, being completely real with you, on a bro-to-bro level, this was probably one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.”
Will wasn’t even paying attention to their ride moving up. All he knew was that it was just Nico and him, alone, at the top of a farris wheel and he was spilling his heart out. Maybe it had been dumb to agree to do this. Will was seconds away from telling Nico how he felt and he couldn’t stop himself. Maybe he could pass it off, but that ship had sailed long ago.
He dropped Nico’s hand, needing a moment to bring himself away from the fantasy he had mixed up for himself.
So many thoughts raced through his mind, but nothing came to the foreground that made sense. He shifted to face Nico a bit more, his mind still chasing common sense.
I should tell him. Yeah, that is what’s best.
It was a dumb idea, but he smiled to it.
He couldn’t just drop his feelings on Nico while they were stuck together. No, that wasn’t fair. That would be too much pressure on him. It wasn’t a good time, not that it ever was.
When Will looked up, his breath got caught in his throat.
Nico was simply the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He had been dumb to not have seen it when he was younger, but he never felt luckier than he did there.
No, scratch that. He was basking in the thought that no one had ever seen Nico like this. He had never been on a date with anyone, never dated, nothing. But Will could see it. Will could see him in all his glory as he glowed.
He had a few hairs flying in his face, but nothing could take away his beauty.
This made sense. Why did this all make sense? Nico could never be his and yet…
He ran his fingers through Nico’s hair, watching for his reactions. Any slight show of uncomfortableness and he would stop, but not once. If anything, Will was sure he leaned into it.
This was the only moment he wanted to remember. Nothing, and he meant nothing, could tear this away from him.
“You are my best friend,” Will finally broke the silence, his voice shaking ever the slightest as he spoke. “Seriously, I think you’re one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.”
Those words he so nervously dared to speak sat at the tip of his tongue. Every muscle in his body screamed for him to speak them as if his life depended on it. he stopped playing with Nico’s hair, not because he didn’t want to, but because it wasn’t what he wanted to do. He slid his hand to rest on the back of Nico’s neck.
He waited for his friend to pull away, to laugh it all off and remind him this was a joke, but it never came.
The hair at the back of Nico’s neck was ever so slightly knotted as his hair curled underneath. Will laced his fingers through it, fighting the urge to pull.
Will wetted his lips, feeling his mouth starting to dry.
All he had to do was lean forward and close the gap. Just a little further and he would have the one thing he had been dreaming about for months.
Do it, he thought. What harm would it do? You could play it off if things go south. What are you waiting for?
Every inch of him was itching to move, to close that gap. He wanted to – needed to. So badly that if he didn’t, he was scared he would die.
And so he did. He leaned forward and –
The cart started to move once again and he found his senses as they came rushing back to him.
God, why had he been so dumb as to think to kiss him? That would have been the worst mistake of his life. How could he risk his friendship for some silly fairy tale?
…….
Why did it hurt this much? Why did it feel like his heart was ripped out of his chest?
He knew this from the start, but why did he let himself get this carefree? The worst idea he ever had was saying yes to Nico’s silly little idea. The second worst idea was taking it seriously. And the third? Letting himself pretend this was all real.
Maybe he should have kissed him on the farris wheel. Maybe he should have kissed him on the porch, and not just on the forehead.
Will stared down at his phone.
He knew he had to send those messages, but it was the last thing he wanted to do.
So, as he sat in bed, his phone’s screen going dark from inactivity, he decided to lock his feelings for Nico away once again. It was for the best. Just like he had been doing for months.
……
Nothing.
Will had been texting Nico for two days and nothing.
Was… it something he did?
No, it couldn’t. Because if so, Nico would have told him, right?
There must be something else going on then just listening to an album.
He had an idea.
Bitch 💕
Hey Pipes
Hey whore
what’s up???
I’m calling in a 911
Oop
can I ask who for????????
,
Nico
I’ve been texting him,,
but
Is bitch boy not reponding???
No,
and im starting to worry.
I hope it nothings wrong
but..
ahh,,,,,,
I hope it wasn’t something I said or did..
Brosky
I doubt it
you couldn’t hurt a fly
I just
what if I over stepped?
like
I know it was a joke but what if I went too far with it.
Will
Obviously its not something you did
if it was u know he would have told u right?
Look
hea probably going through something at home
I don’t want to speak for him but I know hes kind of going through some things
You sure?
Would I lie to you?
No
because im ur best friend in the whole world
and I don’t lie to besties
That seems fake
But I’ll trust you
Just…
please let me know if somethings up
he hasn’t replied to any of my messages since Saturday and im worried
Will
trust me
I’ll let you know if something is wrong
But ill go check on him
Thank pipes
I don’t mean to bug u with a 911
Dude
brosky
bestie
Never
EVER
feel burdened for calling in a 911
Thx…
Np
I’ll keep you updated
This means so much
Im just so worried
I know
but don’t owrry
got it?
Got it
Good
now go eat something and stop worrying!
Done
:D
………
The first sign Will got that something might have been off between him and Nico was at lunch the first day back after the long weekend. Nico was quick to jump into the conversation and cut him off or plain out ignore him. At first, he didn’t think too much into it as Nico sometimes got too into the conversation and shrugged him off, but the longer it continued, the more Will started to worry.
Piper had reassured him that nothing was wrong, that Nico was just going through something at home. Even Nico himself had communicated that earlier. But something still felt… off.
He waved it away when Nico would glance over and make some face at him, like they were in on the joke together, but it always seemed a little forced.
Nico always had a hard time lying to Will. He could easily see through his gives and tells, so even though Nico was doing a damn good job at keeping it covered, Will could tell something more was happening on the surface. He even caught the weird glances Piper was sending Nico. Will might have been Nico’s best friend, but he couldn’t deny that Piper had known him longer – everyone at the table knew him longer.
The second time was the following day when Will waited at Nico’s locker.
Will had gotten to school much earlier than he was used to in hopes to catch Nico. Instead, he got there way too early for any logical person to actual be at school. That, of course, did not hold true to Rachel who had been sitting outside the class with her sketch book out, waiting for the janitor.
They had weird agreement where she could have access to the art room. The janitor would unlock it before anyone actually got there so she could work on her school and personal projects.
Will waved to her as she stood up, thanking the janitor who was just as confused seeing Will that early.
Rachel motioned with her head as she threw her bag against the wall and grabbed her usual supplies. Will gingerly took a seat, watching Rachel’s swift and precise movements as she set up her piece.
“What?” she asked as she picked up her paint brush. She didn’t need to say anything else, Will understood.
With shaky breaths and a bit of reserved thought, he opened up. He had been sitting there in silence way too long for her not to notice something was up. Especially with him being there as early as he was.
He told her everything. His feelings for Nico, the date, the past few days. Everything. She simply painted the entire time, not speaking or letting up that she had even been listening. When Will finished, his heart was pounding out of his chest. He hadn’t ever vocalized to her this. He hadn’t told anyone for that matter.
But once everything was said, the words out in the open and not written down in his journal back home, he thought he would feel different. He didn’t. he just felt… normal. But it had been easier to speak than he thought it would have been.
Rachel closed her eyes and set her paint brush down and turned towards him. She gave him a once over before sighing and pulling her handmade bag onto her lap. She rummaged through it before motioning for Will to move closer. He did so cautiously.
“Your fucking hair,” she started, pushing his bangs out of his face, “is getting way too long. You need a hair cut.” She clipped something into his hair, holding his curly hair back. He sat there, confused, before he winced as Rachel slapped his face.
“Ow! What was that for?” he asked, rubbing his face.
“It’s for you being so ungodly stupid.”
Will rolled his eyes.
“You didn’t have to slap me, though.”
“Pretty sure I did.”
“No.”
“Uh, yeah,” Rachel said before setting her bag down beside her. “Look, I don’t know why you think this is such a big deal, dude. Why don’t you just tell him you like him and ask him why he’s avoiding you. I don’t know why you’re putting it off, but it’s obviously not going well.”
Will nodded.
“My advice still stands. If you don’t talk to him and ask, then how do you expect to get an answer?”
“Yeah,” Will muttered, chewing on his lip.
He couldn’t exactly say he was trying anything because, if he was being honest, he was scared. He was scared that something had actually happened and Nico didn’t want to be his friend anymore. He was scared he wouldn’t get an explanation and he would just walk out of his life like nothing had happened.
Will couldn’t be certain that Nico’s attitude wasn’t because of something he had said or done because he hadn’t asked him, but Nico would have said something, right? It was a never-ending fear he knew he would never grow out of.
“Now,” Rachel huffed, turning back to her piece, “go talk to him and leave me to my painting. I love you dude, but I don’t get your love life drama.”
“It’s not ‘love life’ drama,” he mumbled, looking down at his hands as they fumbled together.
“Whatever you want to call it, go fix it.”
With a deep breath, Will nodded and stood up.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime, Texas.”
And that’s where Will waited. He stood outside of Nico’s lockers, making sure he would catch him. He needed to speak to him and he knew if he didn’t do it then, that he would chicken out. Nothing was wrong, he just needed that clarity.
But when Nico never showed up, he felt deflated.
When he got the first text from Nico, there was a moment of hope.
According to Nico, his phone died and that’s why he hadn’t responded. That was a good answer, but Will still felt a little uneasy. He jokingly sent him a message, asking if he was avoiding him, hoping to get a ruse out of him.
You
Nice
look at you doing homework and stuff lately
Almost thought you were avoiding me ;)
Death Boy
Loser you can barely go 24 hours without seeing me
that’s kind of gay
A smile and a sigh of relief was all he got. Obviously, Nico wasn’t ignoring him. Why would he?
But even with the words of reassurance, there was a wave of doubt sinking in.
…..
It continued, though.
Nico would race by, giving him one-word responses or barely glancing in his direction. It was becoming a slap in the face.
It had even gotten to the point where Jason and Piper had even noticed.
Will felt out of sorts. He and Nico never argued, at least not over things that didn’t matter. They had their disagreement, but so did any of pair of friends. But this wasn’t an argument, it wasn’t even a fight. Will was left out in the dark on what was actually going on.
Every time he tried to stop and talk to him, Nico would find away to get away. Again and again, he was pushed away. It was beyond ignoring now. He wished Nico would just ignore him. But Nico would cut him short, leaving him feeling helpless and exposed.
Will leaned up against his locker, shaking his head at something Rachel had said. She was going on and on about this new paint brush she had gotten.
“It literally is the best brush I have ever bought, and I hate it so much,” she explained.
“Then why do you keep using it?”
“I don’t know! I hate the texture of the brush so much. It feels like a bunch of spider legs walking up your arm.”
Will shuddered.
“Please, Rache, don’t say that.”
“Aw, some one doesn’t like spiders?”
Will shook his head.
“Dude, not when they’re walking up your arm.”
Rachel smiled as she ran her fingers up and down Will’s arm, earning a squeal from the taller man’s lips.
“Don’t!”
“Like eyelashes made from spider legs,” she explained, batting her eyes and extending her fingers as if they were claws.
Will broke out into laughter, something he hadn’t done much recently. As he looked up, he spotted Nico coming towards him.
He wasn’t sure if it was because he was still on the thought of spider legs walking up and down his arm or the fact that Nico loved spiders, but he reached out to grab him. He wanted to share this with his friend, momentarily forgetting the weird air between them.
But what he was met with was a cold, hard stare from once warm and inviting eyes he had memorized. His eyes were sunken deep in his face and the colour once dusting his cheeks was now pale and washed out.
“Hey, Nico,” he tried to say, but he was still fighting back laughter, “Wh-“
“I have to go,” Nico cut him off, those now scornful eyes leaving his own as quickly as they appeared. His hand was now being tossed away as Nico jerked his own.
There it was.
Nico was now putting his own foot down and marking where they stood.
It hurt.
Will had stepped out of line and Nico no longer wanted anything to do with him. He felt his heart sink as he watched him walk away. Nico was leaving him behind and he had no idea why.
Maybe he stepped too far, said the wrong thing, or maybe Nico knew that he liked him. Whatever it was, Nico had had enough of Will and it hurt.
What had he done wrong?
“What’s going on with him?” Rachel asked, her words making it solid.
“I ruined everything,” Will mumbled, eyes glossing.
…….
He was hurt, but the last thing Will was going to do was let everything fall apart without an answer.
But that hadn’t gone exactly like he wished it would. Instead, Nico had screamed at him, told him to leave him alone. Will wanted to apologize, to make everything better, but he was kicked down before he could even have a chance.
He wanted to chase after him, to get the answer to why he was mad at him. He needed to, but his legs wouldn’t carry him the distance he needed them to. So, he stood there, watching as the best thing to ever happen to him fall apart.
He hated his feelings. He hated that he agreed to that silly, stupid, awful idea. He hated that all he wanted was to hold on to Nico and never let him go. Will hated that he let himself live out his simple fantasy, knowing that reality hurt way too much for the fall he would inevitably come crashing back from.
And to make things worse, he never thought Nico would actually push him away. He could still feel his hands on his chest where he shoved him. Nico would never lash out unless he really fucked up.
Will had ruined the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
But as he stood there, the reality of what had just happened coming over him, he wasn’t satisfied. He needed to know. Will couldn’t live with this. Even if he was going to yell, hit, scream, he needed answers.
So, Will packed up his things and got into his car.
He was going to get a real answered whether Nico hated him or not. He put in way too much time and effort into this relationship for it to end without reason.
Will didn’t care if this ended everything, without a final goodbye and reasonable cause, he wasn’t giving up without a fight.
……..
“Because I like you!”
What did Nico mean when he said that?
Will’s thoughts were swarming as he tried to dodge the items Nico was hurling towards his head.
All he wanted was Nico to stop for five seconds so he could get something longer than two words out before he was cut off by a projectile or Nico cursing him out.
He needed answers and if Nico was going to throw hands with him, then he might as well hit back.
Nico was going to have to forcefully carry him out of his house if he wanted him out. Will was not backing down. Every bit of confusion and anger had been swelling up and the two of them both needed a way to release it.
Nico was sobbing at that point and it broke Will. He needed answers and it pained him to know that whatever it was was causing him that much pain. He cared so deeply for Nico that he wanted to scream.
“Please, just-“
“I hate you!”
“Nico-“
“I hate you – I hate you – I hate you!”
“Can you just-“
All thought left him when he was smacked in the face. The silence that fell was only echoed by a slight ringing in his ears as his face went ice cold before being rushed with heat. The pain that came with the force of whatever it was that was thrown at him was delayed. It throbbed moments later and for a second, the sudden rush in his nose made him worry that it had started bleeding.
He touched it gingerly at first, making sure there wasn’t any damage that he wasn’t initially aware of.
“I’m sorry.”
It hurt a little at first, but when he noticed there was no blood, he felt a small wave of relief. But that didn’t stop the throbbing from growing in volume, however.
“I’m so sorry, I–“
Will heard him speak, his apologies, and for a second, it felt good. As bad as it felt, hearing Nico apologise – even if it was for smacking him in the face with what he thinks was a bottle of soup – made everything a little lighter. It wasn’t for the pain he had caused him, but it was something.
But now that things were no longer on him trying to get Will to leave, he could finally – finally – get an answer to what he had said earlier.
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Fuck,” Will muttered, once again testing his nose. He knew it wasn’t broken, but it still hurt like a bitch.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. Please, I…”
“Are you done?”
Nico’s head shot up and Will watched him run through every possible thought. His eyes were glassy as a few stray tears fell.
“What…?”
“Are you done, or do you want to go at it outside?” If Nico wanted to fight, he would happily do so to end this foreplay.
“I… don’t-“
“Because if you aren’t, you’re gonna have to give me a few seconds before you start up again.” His nose still hurt beyond words, but it was leveling off. All he was at this point was annoyed. Maybe he should have done this sooner.
“I – I’m sorry. I promise I – “
“So, are you done?”
When Nico nodded, Will huffed and headed over to where he was standing. He didn’t want to scare him, but Nico had just thrown a bunch of shit at him, so if he got nervous, then that was on him.
“Now,” Will started, three feet away from Nico whose tears had stained tracks onto his face, “Can I speak or are you going to start throwing things at me again?”
“I’m sorry – I…”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
This was it.
His heart was racing.
He was about to get answers. Everything that had been tearing him apart, every waking hour he was left unsure, this was it.
His heart raced and tried to clam himself down, to not get his hopes up. But as he opened his mouth, doubt started to sink in.
“Okay, now what do you mean by you like me?”
As Nico tried to speak, something in Will was hold on tight. He couldn’t get his hopes up, but how could he not? Everything he wanted could be true. Nico had said he liked him, but why would normal friendship drive him to do this? Nothing made sense, except...
“I… I’m sorry…”
Will took a deep breath in and ran his hands over his face, rubbing his nose when it started to throb.
It was too good to be true. Nico had been avoiding him because he liked him. No, that wasn’t possible, and yet.
“You like me, right?” he asked, keeping his voice steady as he tried to not freak out. Inside his mind, he was running laps, but Nico couldn’t see it. What if Nico really wasn’t into him like that and he was just getting his hopes up?
Months of pining and this was it. This was the moment of truth and Will was scared shitless.
“I’m sorry.”
When Nico nodded, Will wanted to cry. All this time, all this fighting, and if Will had just followed through and didn’t chicken out, it could have been avoided. Nico didn’t know he liked him, and it was almost a relief. As much as he wished he did to avoid this whole ordeal, it almost would have been too embarrassing to face the fact he was shitty at hiding his feelings.
“And that is why you’ve been avoiding me?”
He needed full clarity, not just assumptions. He needed Nico to say it to really be true.
When Nico nodded, Will had to keep it together. He couldn’t look at him, not yet.
Will never understood the meaning behind being so happy you cry, but this was it. All the sound around him dimmed away and he could only hear his own heart racing in his chest.
Nico like him. He really liked him. Will’s best friend, who he was in love with, liked him back. He needed to know everything. He was so selfish and he didn’t care.
“Since when?”
“Saturday, I think.”
Will nodded and looked away again.
If he had just kissed him. If he hadn’t chickened out and just kissed him, he could have already been with him. Saturday, he could do that. But it scared him. What if this was a one-off thing? What if Nico didn’t really like him and it was just a moment of passing from the fake dating?
“What I say next will depend on how you respond: so…” Will started, swallowing hard before he continued on, “do you think you could keep liking me?”
“What?”
“Do you think you could keep liking me? In the future?”
“I – I don’t know. Maybe?”
For a second, Will felt his heart drop. He was putting too much into this. He was letting himself get carried away again. He needed to keep a firm grasp on his feelings before Nico hurt him by not reciprocating them the same way.
“Probably.”
“Okay, Will said, more to himself. This was good. He could… work with this. “Okay, good.”
He was getting giddy. This was too good to be true, yet here he was. If he was dreaming, let him lay until the end of time.
“Why?”
Will looked up and finally saw Nico for the first time since he had been lost in his own world of possibilities. He looked small and scared. He was scared.
Nico had been feeling just like him, unsure and uncertain of what to do with these feelings, and Will couldn’t help but smile. They had been punishing themselves for no reason other than fear. Fear that the other one wouldn’t be okay with it.
It made sense.
Everything made sense for once.
“Because,” Will spoke, his breath controlled, “I… have been waiting to hear that for so long.”
Nico looked so confused, but Will couldn’t care less. He would quickly figure it out just like he had.
“I…” Nico tried to speak, but his words ended short.
“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” Will explained.
“What do you mean?”
“Can I kiss you?” He blurted out.
Will couldn’t help it. It was everything he wanted to do but couldn’t. He had let himself be held back once before, not listening to that voice telling him beyond all the screaming not to, to do it, and he wasn’t going to let it get away this time.
“What?”
“Can I kiss you?”
It was a simple request, but he was going to make sure Nico was caught up with what was happening.
Will could feel his face begin to heat up, but he didn’t care. He wanted this – needed this.
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Probably.”
Will’s heart was racing, but with every passing second, he was losing confidence. Maybe – some how – he had actually been wrong.
“So, can I?” he asked again, holding on to what little confidence he still had.
What he wasn’t expecting was for Nico to be the one to move first. It took him by surprise but feeling his best friend’s lips on his own was worth it. Every shitty thing he had dealt with, leading up to this moment, was worth it. Will wished he had the words to remember this moment, but all he could think was Perfect.
The feeling of Nico’s hands tugging at the back of his neck and pulling pieces of hair was enough to send him over the edge and drive him crazy. He didn’t care if there was too much teeth, or that his neck was pressed at an awkward angle, he could live this it.
Will took a second to readjust into a much more comfortable position for the two of them.
Will had kissed plenty of people, but this was what it meant to kiss someone and for it to truly feel right. He never regrated any of his past relationships, but he did regret not doing this sooner. Nico was the missing piece to the puzzle he couldn’t quite solve. He was the center of the web Will couldn’t quite figure out how to navigate.
Will stayed there until he couldn’t breathe, pulling away slowly, but still holding on to Nico for dear life.
“Okay,” Nico muttered, “wow.”
Will found himself laughing, relaxing for the first time in a while.
“Man of many words.”
“Fuck off.”
“Yeah? Want me to still leave now?” Will asked, half joking.
“I really don’t,” Nico admitted.
“Okay. I wont.”
There was a moment pause before the both of them broke out into a smile. Everything that was once wrong now felt so right. It shouldn’t have worked, it shouldn’t have been fixed, but it was.
“So, wait,” Nico said, his brow drawn together in thought, “I thought you were going out with that Katie chick.”
”Katie?” Will questioned, his brows scrunching together as he searched for what Nico was talking about. Wait, was this something Nico was worried about? “Katie - Katie - Gardener?”
”Yeah.”
Will couldn’t help but smile.
”No, I was just fucking with you,” Will said. Nico frowned. “Though, she did ask me out.”
”Oh.”
”Jealous?”
Nico blushed as he pouted. It was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen.
“No.” He paused. “But you said-“
”Nico,” Will chuckled, “I haven’t been dating anyone for a reason.”
“Oh.”
”Yeah.”
Nico swallowed hard as he tried to find a way to say what he was thinking.
”Can I ask you a question?”
”Shoot.”
“How - how long have you liked me?”
Will felt embarrassed now.
“I, uh… April.” He paused. “Last year.”
“Wait, are you serious?”
Will nervously laughed.
“Yeah, but it’s fine.”
“So, when I asked you the whole…”
“I kinda used it as an excuse…” He felt his face grow hot. He didn’t think Nico would ever find out about that, but he guessed a lot of things have been happening that he didn’t count on.
“Solace.”
“What?”
“What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?” Nico asked, as if he hadn’t been the one acting different for the past week.
“Okay, you can’t say that. You just had a mental breakdown because you’ve liked me for a week.”
Nico rolled his eyes.
“That’s different.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Nico said, as if it was clear as day, “mine wasn’t over a year.”
“I did handle it better than you, though.”
“Shut up, Solace.”
Will started to laugh. This was all too much and too good. He rested his head in the crook on Nico’s neck and took a deep breath in to steady himself.
“So.”
“So,” Will replied.
“What do we do now?”
Will stepped back, not exactly wanting to, but if he didn’t do it then, then he never would. He started to bit his lip to keep himself grounded.
“What do you mean?”
“Well… About this…”
Will’s heart jumped.
“Us…”
“Yeah.”
“You seem to have an idea.”
Nico exhaled, looking almost nervous. “Yeah. You?”
“Yeah.”
They both smiled.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah.”
This was it. Everything was leading up to this moment. Will gathered up as much courage he could muster and let it out.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Will asked at the same time as Nico said, “Do you want to make out?”
Will had to take a moment and process that. He had worked up so much courage just for Nico to…
“No, you’re right, yours was definitely the better idea.”
He couldn’t believe him.
“Make out? Really?” Will chuckled, crossing his arm as Nico turned to look away.
Will couldn’t help but laugh. Out of everything he could have said, of course Nico would ask that. He reached out and took Nico’s had.
“You know,” he started, earning Nico’s eyes to subtly fall back on him, “we can do both.”
Will knew he was pushing it with his, but he didn’t care.
“I hate you.”
He laughed. “No, you don’t.”
Will happily let Nico take him up stairs, stepping over everything that had been thrown at him earlier.
There was a part of Will that was still worried, almost like a voice in the back of his mind screaming about red flags, but after everything, all the hoops and hurdles he had to face to get to this moment, can’t for once he just enjoy himself? He deserved this. And even if it never works out, it was then, so why fight it?
Will didn’t care, he finally had everything he wanted. And the last thing he was going to do was second guess it.
Things might have started a bit sour, but who doesn’t like a challenge?