Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Optimus Prime: Nexus Code
Prowl: The Arcana
Bulkhead: Feral Boyfriend
Bumblebee: Mystic Messenger
Ratchet: Dream Daddy
Megatron: Princess Of The Moon
Blitzwing: Obey Me
Lugnut: Nightmare Harem
Sentinel Prime: Blood Domination
Jazz: Dandelion
Ultra Magnus: Nameless
Black Arachnia: Doki Doki Literature Club

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Optimus Prime: we all know my man (bot) has a ton of repressed feelings so when he saw a human writing in a journal and looked up what it might’ve been, after reading about the concept of a diary he was immediately into it. He doesn’t get to talk about his feelings a lot and feels like he can’t since he’s his team’s source of strength and leadership. The diary really works for him, him being the type he is he’s super organized and meticulous with it, remembers to write every day and makes entries that are at least a page long. In terms of security, he just puts it between his berth and the wall to keep it private but if someone were to find it and read it he would handle it well. He would be more upset by someone trying to invade his privacy and read it behind his back than he would be by someone accidentally finding it and reading its contents.

Prowl: The only one on his squad who’s been journaling since before they came to earth. Finds it therapeutic, puts time stamps in there and writes multiple times a day. While Optimus uses his diary exclusively for venting/getting those tough feelings out there, Prowl uses it for that and whatever random thoughts or ideas he has + if he wants to remember something. He keeps it on his person, not to keep it secure or anything because it has its own lock with a key that only he has, but just so he can carry it everywhere.

Bumblebee: saw it in a TV show and thought it was an awesome concept but was super embarrassed about wanting one. Considering that he’s usually the fun, goofy, light-hearted one in the group, he doesn’t want anyone knowing the depth of some of the negative feelings he has sometimes- whether that be reserved bitterness towards certain bots, lingering self-doubt, or the inferiority that comes from not feeling as strong/useful as his teammates. He buys the notebook online and is so secretive about it that the rest of the Autobots get worried and investigate, only to find out what they were worried about was just… A diary. Finding it both amusing and concerning, they leave it alone and let Bumblebee do his thing. Bumblebee fills the front and back with dumb doodles and not serious entries because he’s paranoid about someone reading it, and he puts serious entries in the middle in invisible LED ink.

Ratchet: my man’s (bot’s) got TRAUMA and it’s weird how no one notices how much he needs therapy, or whatever the Cybertronian equivalent to that may be. He has a diary that he writes in, but he’s not consistent with it at all- basically just writes when the feelings are too much and he can’t organize them in his processor on his own. His handwriting is disastrous and impossible to read so he just leaves the diary out LMAO, though subconsciously he’s hoping someone will find it and read it to understand him better.
Bulkhead: Sari told him about diaries and he liked the concept but he’s terrible at writing and has a hard time expressing himself that way, so he just expresses himself through drawing- his diary is more of a sketchbook than a notebook with lines to write in. Doesn’t mind if people look at it but would prefer they ask first, any entries that he doesn’t want seen he does in the very back of the book, and said book gets left on a desk in his room.

Sentinel Prime: a diary? A HUMAN DIARY? totally, but no one needs to know that. After seeing Optimus do it he decided he wanted to do it so he started doing it, but he only writes in private, never talks about it, and hides it on his self at all times so no one is able to find it. He drops it one day and no one cares but he’s oddly offended that no one cares about the Primer Prime’s deepest darkest secrets, even though he didn’t want anyone to find out in the first place. Sentinel being Sentinel he isn’t consistent with it at all and throws away the entries if he feels like they aren’t good enough. Will go back and reread some of them and cringe.

Jazz: just writes music and poetry in his, not really a normal diary or a sketchbook or anything. Obviously he feels emotions like any other bot, but he, like Prowl, is better than most at regulating them, and he doesn’t leave anything bottled up. He’s also just a huge romantic though so //insert love songs//, sometimes he’ll do doodles of Bots he’s close with

Ultra Magnus: had a diary when he was younger but like… Stopped having a consistent one when he became a Magnus because as such a big leader/public figure, he didn’t want all of his deepest darkest secrets in one accessible place for anyone who might have something against him (and that’s a lot of Bots!). He just writes on scratch paper when he needs to and shreds it to the point where it’s impossible to put back together afterwards.

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Megatron: feelings? Where? JK he totally has one, just hides it in a different place every day and if someone ever reads it he’s going to kill them. Writes a lot of angsty stuff but also just weird notes that aren’t related to his entries at all like “No one can end this suffering except for me. My life feels like endless chaos and mass destruction with nothing to look forward to… Additionally, I saw a creature that the organics on earth refer to as “cat” today.”

Lugnut: writes Megatron x Lugnut fanfiction dont @ me

Blitzwing: has a diary, all three of his personalities get a section (Blue gets front, red gets back, black gets whatever page he can fit himself into) and they’re all super different- they write in their specific color’s ink to differentiate each other’s entries, Blue has very neat and proper cursive, Red’s handwriting is loopy, and Black’s is illegible chicken scratch. Blue writes pretty dry scene by scenes of his day, Red writes about whatever upsets him, and Black is pretty unpredictable. Sometimes just scribbles on the page.

Starscream: Let’s be honest. Starscream is an attention whore. He writes in a diary about things he wants people to ask him about/be interested in regarding him, and then leaves it out or “hides” it really badly on purpose in an attempt to get someone to “find” it. Cry for help tbh, can range from who he has a crush on at the moment to how depressed he is to his failed ambitions and so on.

Lockdown: Knows diaries exist but doesn’t want to use them bc he doesn’t see the point

Swindle: ^blackmail information for his enemies to have? No thank you 💵

Blackarachnia: the only one in this franchise to use and hide a diary properly aside from Optimus. Makes an entry every day, notes what her day has been like, thoughts and feelings, science experiment ideas, dreams, etc. dates them and is pretty neat, uses about one page a day and has a lock on the book, keeps it in a drawer.

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Megatron: Manipulative bastard. He’s been into you //stalking you// for a while and the second you came to him to tell him that you’d caught your S/O cheating on you and weren’t sure what to do? He was on that shit FAST lmao. Anywho, he was the one who urged you to break up with ex-S/O because he never liked them in the first place, but knew he couldn’t kill them and risk you not being able to move on because like,, he d o e s want you to be happy, not traumatized and grieving. Megatron convinces you that you deserve better and that were he not a better con, he would kill ex-S/O for hurting you. You break up with S/O and hang around Megatron a little more than usual. The Decepticon is happy to hear you out when you feel like talking about it, but pushes you not to linger on it and to try and consider your “other options” (HIM).

Blitzwing: Arguably the most comforting here, though certainly not the most morally righteous. Icy listens to you with a servo gently placed on your shoulder as you vent about how your ex-SO consistently ditched you when you’d made plans to go party and gaslit you into feeling bad when you mentioned your concerns. It got so bad that you finally ended it, but ex-SO won’t leave you alone and is nonstop messaging you and showing up at your house to convince you it’s your fault and that you should get back with him. Hothead is angry upon hearing that, so him and Random decide to get revenge by inconveniencing and pranking ex-SO in every way possible; saran wrapping the doors and toilets at their home, pouring oil underneath their car, loosening their sink faucets, hiding all their cleaning products and tools, moving their furniture a few inches, shutting their utilities off, etc.

Lugnut: Initially proposes taking the entire Decepticon army to fight ex-S/O upon hearing that ex-S/O dumped you for another person, but you manage to calm him down and convince him that all you need is some comforting words and the occasional hug. He’s a bit mad that he can’t go poke your ex, but hey, you wanting physical affection and cuddles from him while you recover from your heartbreak is nice and he’s happy to listen to you rant about it.

Swindle: Sees two opportunities in this, one, to steal your heart, and two, to rob ex-S/O’s house as revenge. You need some convincing and reassuring that you won’t get caught, but after that, Swindle drives you in his vehicle mode to ex-S/O’s house when they’re at work and y’all ransack the place (and get away with it).

Lockdown: A lot more inconsiderate than Megatron, surprisingly, or... Not more inconsiderate, but more focused on getting revenge than getting you to fall in love with him or anything like that. He’s more mad that your ex-S/O got the privilege of dating you and fucked it up by never focusing on your physical needs than he is about you being upset after the breakup. Like? That person got to date you? And Lockdown didn’t, when Lockdown would have done a much better job? Oh. Oh n o. He isn’t really one to get angry but the second you tell him about it he’s PRESSED. He hides it, acts as comforting as he can (albeit awkwardly), and then leaves and finds your ex the second you leave. Probably sells ex-S/O’ss body parts tbh.

Starscream: Man. Starscream is not a happy camper when you show up to his berthroom in the middle of the night crying because ex-SO dumped you for not wanting to have sex with them one too many times when you hadn’t been feeling well recently. Naturally, even though he knows it’s uncomfortable, you want reassurance and a listening ear (or, audial), so he lets you lay over his lap and spill your heart out to him as you cry about how terrible your relationship was and how upset you are that ex-SO would dump you over sex when you’d done so much for them. TBH, Starscream makes your conflicted and distraught state worse by getting up and transforming in the middle of it to fly to ex-SO’s work and wait for them to show up so he can threaten them and throw them through the nearest window, but when he gets back to you waiting for him, he’s back to trying his best to make you feel better (even if he doesn’t understand relationships and has no tact).

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Optimus Prime: Actually really good at this, 100% the first bot you’d want to go to for comfort reasons. When you show up at the base visibly distraught, he asks what’s wrong. If you don’t want to talk about it, he’ll do something fun like take you out or if you wanna stay in watch a movie so you’re distracted. If you do wanna talk about it, he’ll listen intently, and when he hears that ex-SO ghosted you for weeks on end before sending a “we’re over” text without any explanation, he feels... Secondhand upset. Not angry at ex-SO, but upset that you’re upset over ex-SO because he can’t stand seeing you upset and just wants you to be happy. He gets so worried that he’ll start visiting your place when he can to check up on you and get you out of the house when you need it.

Ratchet: Ratchet doesn’t know much about relationships- at least not human ones, but he had... Observed the situation, to put it simply. You and ex-SO were simply incompatible and almost always arguing, but even though you’d tried to end it multiple times, ex-SO came crawling back and apologized and pleaded with you until you gave in again. It always worked until Ratchet sits you down one day and asks why you put up with it, because honestly? You were fiery, beautiful, passionate, and fully capable of finding a relationship with someone else. You break down and tell Ratchet that ex-SO has you convinced you won’t be able to find anyone else, which Ratchet reassures you isn’t true and tells you that’s EXACTLY why you need to end things. You finally agree and Ratchet takes you to ex-SO’s home in his vehicle mode, drops you off but watches you carefully as you go to ex-SO’s door and knock. ex-SO opens the door, you stay in the doorway and talk, breaking up with them. The door is eventually slammed and the second you come back to Ratchet, he suggests you delete/block ex-SO on all social media, email, and phone, so you do. After that, he has you stay on base with him for a while and mostly focuses on treating you normally instead of coddling you or overdoing it so you can heal on your own, but if you ask for someone to vent to or any favors, he’s there.

Bumblebee: Unlike a lot of the others, Bumblebee expected the break up WAY before it happened. He always had a bad feeling about ex-SO, and the more he heard about them, the more he disliked; ex-SO was either constantly late or canceling dates, made you pay for everything, never initiated plans/made you do everything, and made you do most of the work in intimate aspects of the relationship such as sex and communication as well. You’d let things slip occasionally (”Oh, yeah, ex-SO and I were supposed to go to the movie but they canceled last minute to hang out with their friends, so I have an extra ticket. Do you wanna go, Bee?” or “I can’t go with you guys, I loaned ex-SO money to pay their phone bill and they haven’t paid me back yet, so I can’t afford the ticket and also get groceries this week.). Bumblebee tried not to push too hard in fear of pushing you in the opposite direction, but he may or may not have prayed to Primus every night before bed for you and ex-SO to break up, so when you walk into the base one day looking both exhausted and elated, he asks what’s going on and feels his spark jump when you say you dumped ex-SO. The final straw was apparently them getting mad that you made them an anniversary gift instead of buying one that was at least a hundred dollars when they had made you pay for a one hundred dollar dinner that night. You don’t need much comforting in this scenario, but Bumblebee is quick to try to build your standards and self-esteem back up; constant praises, buying you flowers, taking you places, writing you notes/doodling you things, paying for things, making plans etc, and if you two do develop a romantic relationship, he gives it his all in terms of effort.

Bulkhead: The reason for your breakup is really stupid, which Bulkhead knows because he saw it as it happened. The issue had been building up for a bit, said issue being that ex-SO felt you were spending too much time with the Autobots and that it was dangerous and wrong for you to be interacting with Cybertronians who had brought danger to earth and wrecked parts of Detroit. It boiled over when ex-SO followed you to the Autobot base and yelled at you for going, then broke up with you on the spot. The others had been on patrol with Bulkhead being the one in charge of watching the base, so no one was around and he wasn’t really sure what to do. All he can do as you stand there, shocked and crying following ex-SO storming out, is pick you up and give you the best hugs he can offer without crushing you.

Prowl: He’s the best at helping you work through your issues following the break up. You come to him in the middle of the night after months of growing distant from him, telling him that you broke up with ex-SO because ex-SO was trying to get you to spend less time with your friends and family, quit your job, cancel all of your plans ETC to spend time with them instead. Prowl is obviously upset that you went through what he considered emotional abuse in your relationship and didn’t tell anyone that it had happened until it was over, but he’s glad you got out of it on your own and does some research, encourages you to get therapy if you can and work on yourself before considering another relationship, stay out of drama and avoid contact with ex-SO. He’s always there to listen and talk, has a good shoulder to rest your head on when you need it.

Sentinel Prime: This bot... Out of all the Autobots, he’s the only one who immediately wants to fight ex-SO. Doesn’t even wait to hear why the two of you break up, just hears “ex-SO dumped me” and wants to fight them on sight, because TBH, he’s a jealous bitch who’s been looking for an excuse since day one, but you stop him. After Sentinel calms down and realizes that you’re upset and need somebot to listen to you, he awkwardly indulges you, but only wants to wreck ex-SO’s shit even more upon hearing that ex-SO had an active online dating account that they’d been using to sext others behind your back. He’s by far the most protective, so when you need to go get your things/give ex-SO’s things back, he insists on coming with you to make sure you’re “protected” and either wants to hold your hand or have a servo on your shoulder to keep you close the entire time. Won’t let ex-S/O talk to you either. On the bright side of all of it, with the more vindictive side in Sentinel that doesn’t exist as much in the other Autobots, he’s MORE than happy to rag on ex-SO with you whenever you’re feeling upset about the matter.

Jazz: He’s visiting earth and hanging out with Prowl in the warehouse that’s the Autobots’ earth base when you storm in and throw your bag at a wall, yelling something about your ex-SO breaking up with you because they found you unattractive nowadays and kicking the frag out of said wall. Naturally, he’s confused; doesn’t know much about organic beauty standards, but he’s always considered you gorgeous and doesn’t understand why ex-SO would break up with you over something so trivial anyway. He asks you to sit down and tell him about it, get the feelings out, and gives you the biggest hug he can without crushing you, tells you he’s there to talk about it any time you want/he’s there for you. He’s super busy with work and can’t spend much time with you when things are hectic, but he’s constantly sending you songs he wrote and gifts and letters to make you feel like you’re not so alone/make sure you’re thinking of him and know how attractive you really are.

Ultra Magnus: You don’t really tell anyone, but you’re close with the Autobots on earth and Ultra Magnus is old enough that he’s developed great emotional/social awareness- even with organics. So, when he’s visiting earth, he realizes that you’re not quite as bubbly as usual and something’s going on. With how many good interactions he’s had with you, as awkward as it is, he wants you to be okay and is determined to figure out what’s wrong. He manages to slip away and catch you alone outside, asks about it, and you break down and confess that your ex-SO had lost interest in you and ended things quite suddenly. Considering that he’s gotten used to humans, he knows you’re not a threat and trusts you immensely. So, to keep you distracted from what was going on, he has you help him with a lot of his work- it helps him out, gives him more time with you, and prevents you from thinking about ex-SO/the breakup all the time. It works well for a while, and even when you’re over ex-SO and have come to terms with how the two of you split, UM keeps you around (if you so wish) because of how happy you make him.

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Optimus Prime: I think out of all of the bots here, he’s the most touch-starved. As the leader of his team, he feels awkward indulging in anything remotely affectionate with them, and on earth, there’s no other Cybertronian’s around except for the Decepticons, who are off limits for obvious reasons. When you come into his life, Optimus wants so bad to feel your warm skin on his touch receptors, but he can’t bring himself to initiate it- that is, until one day when you’re sitting on the couch with him. You’re playing some game on your computer and absent-mindedly complaining about how sore you are from work, your back in particular. Optimus was taken back to his academy days when Sentinel and Elita always used to come to him for massages when they were sore from training, because apparently, he was the best at giving them. Optimus doesn’t even think before offering to give you a back massage, which makes you stammer with your (s/c) cheeks blushing bright red, but you give a hurried nod and turn so you’re sitting in between his thighs with your back facing him. Your laptop is still in your lap, you playing your game as Optimus gently digs his digits into your sore spots, working out all of the kinks. You lean back into him and veg out, eventually losing focus on your PC and talking absentmindedly again. Optimus is just happy he can both provide something nice for you and get to touch you at the same time. You two have an open discussion about just how nice it is to touch and be touched in such a tender way, thus it becomes a regular thing.

Bumblebee: Bumblebee is a different touch-starved than you- while you don’t initiate anything because you aren’t used to it, Bumblebee wants affection so badly that he’s initiating it all times. Usually, this is just channeled into leaning on/hugging Bulkhead, but when he starts to get comfortable with you, Bumblebee hugs you a lot. And, of course, he’s perceptive enough to notice how you react; your face goes bright red and you freeze up before completely and utterly melting into it, so he tries to do it as much as you can, even initiating the occasional cuddling session in his berthroom when he’s feeling bold.

Prowl: Prowl is incredibly perceptive, so unlike the other bots, he notices it early on; how you won’t initiate hugs but always maintain them for longer than necessary, how longingly you look at Bumblebee and Bulkhead when they’re doing their usual friendly physically affectionate gestures, how you’ll sometimes almost reach out to hold his servo in your hand when you go on walks with him, but you always stop yourself. Prowl can just tell that you’re in desperate need of love and affection, so he does his best to implement it into you two’s relationship the best he can with gentle digit brushes and the occasional hug or hand-hold.

Ratchet: Ratchet doesn’t consider himself a comforting, kind, touchy bot like- say, Bumblebee or Bulkhead, which is why he’s confused when you knock on the door to the medbay in the middle of the night while he’s working and everyone else is asleep to ask him if he’ll come lay in bed with you. You said something about having had a nightmare and needing some company. As agitated as he was to have his work interrupted, he empathized with you having nightmares, and as somebot who cared for you deeply, he wanted to make sure you were okay. So, he closed the door to the room and pulled you into his arms, running his servo over your hair and letting you lean into him. You froze when he touched you, but when you got used to it, you started sobbing into his chestplates and clung onto him. After the initial upset, the two of you sat down and talked; you told him about your nightmare and about how tired you were of not having anyone to hold when you were upset, about how starved you were for touch and affection. Albeit a bit awkwardly, Ratchet offers himself to you, telling you that he’s there anytime you need someone to love on/love you.

Bulkhead: The only reason he ever found out was because it was April Fools. He wanted to partake in the earth tradition with you and Sari to make you guys feel at home at their base, so he tried his best to research the custom and see what the best kind of pranks were. Nothing mean, just enough to be funny or cause confusion. Simple enough. Bulkhead decided he’d catch you while you were in the kitchen and tickle your sides (he’s a lil confused, but he’s got the spirit) from behind. You immediately burst out laughing, falling to the ground with the force of it as he catches you and pulls you into him- he hadn’t expected for your reaction to it to be that strong, were humans that sensitive? He asked, and you admitted that you were just super sensitive to touch and weren’t really used to it.

Ultra Magnus: No one/bot really touches Ultra Magnus, which makes sense, he figures. He’s intimidating, he’s in charge, and no one is quite on his level, so they’re scared to touch him… Except for you, apparently. It was during a party that the Autobots stationed on earth had in their warehouse base, which despite Sentinel’s concerns about organic contamination, he’d decided to go to and take part in some earth custom called seven minutes in heaven. It wasn’t his thing, but he didn’t want to be a party pooper, as the humans would say, so he partook, not really understanding the game. He got paired up with you, who he didn’t know very well, and put in the dark closet. It was an awkward fit, with you right in front of him and him hardly fitting into the confined space, the only light in the room coming from his aquamarine optics. He didn’t want to spend seven minutes (which he wasn’t sure how long that was, as he didn’t understand human time) sitting in silence with you, so he asked exactly what the objective of seven minutes in heaven was, only for you to start stammering. He tells you to speak up, and you end up telling him that usually, people would make out/kiss if they wanted to, or they’d just sit there. Ultra Magnus had drank a little more oil than usual and was feeling both impatient enough to not want to sit in a closet in silence for the remaining time and bold enough to pull you in by your waist and slam his lips against yours. He had always found you attractive, but he’d never expected for it to be this bad; you were moaning into his kisses and holding onto his hips with your tiny hands like your life depended on it. When he finally pulled away for a moment, you talked about how it had been a long time since someone had kissed you like that, and he completely understood where you were coming from.

Sentinel Prime: He’s pretty touch-starved, but unlike the other bots, he won’t acknowledge/admit it. In fact, he doesn’t even notice how bad it is until he touches you for the first time. It was right after he had arrived on earth for the first time, he showed up to the warehouse base to chew Optimus out for one thing or another, only to see that all of the younger Prime’s team were out on patrol, Sari was with them, and you were alone writing something in a notebook. At first, Sentinel Prime feared humans, but you weren’t particularly disgusting or threatening in any way, so he found himself approaching you and snatching the notebook out of your hand to read it, and it’s… A human love story? It was good and he wanted to read the rest of it after reading a few lines, but one, he couldn’t let you know that, and two, you were currently trying to jump at him and get the notebook back. With a snicker, Sentinel picks you up by the neck of your shirt and holds you so you’re eye level with him, a smirk on his face. You plead with him to give it back, but he didn’t, only reading more of it and realizing… This human character sounded a lot like him; gold hair, blue eyes, navy clothing, similar personality and demeanor, and the other human sounded a lot like you; (e/c) eyes, (h/l) (h/c) hair, etc. He didn’t say anything, just burning red as you buried your face in his shoulder the best you could, clearly embarrassed. After a long discussion on the couch, you admitted that you’d liked him for a while and also weren’t really used to affection or touch, so you weren’t sure how to initiate anything. Sentinel sees a whole new side of you and decides to put in the effort to touch you more in little ways, whether that be giving you a pat on the back/head, hugging you when the two of you were alone, or giving you the occasional massage.

Jazz: He notices it pretty quickly when he sees how you act around the Autobots. Not only are you terrified when Sentinel Prime so much as moves in your general vicinity, but you also flinch really hard when Ultra Magnus walks past you. At first, he’s afraid something bad might have happened to you, or maybe you were just THAT intimidated by the Elite Guard, but then he puts his hand on your shoulder for the first time before the two of you start dating and figures it out- how could he not? You instantly tensed up, but then relaxed and leaned into the touch pretty intensely despite it just being your shoulder of all things. After that, he makes the effort to touch you a lot more, sitting so close to you that your thighs touch his when you’re on the couch together, grazing his hand over yours when he walks by, and when you start dating, it only gets worse; he especially likes wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his head on top of yours.

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MILD NSFW BELOW THE CUT. Since the Tumblr anon who sent out the request basically said whether or not I wanted the piece to be suggestive or wholesome was up to my interpretation, I decided to make the half top SFW so everyone could read it and the bottom half NSFW for anyone who’s interested in that part of the request, as writing both sounded fun. Enjoy!

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Optimus Prime: This mech, as mentioned earlier, is super sensitive as well; both to regular touch and in the bedroom. So, when he finds out that you’re just as receptive to touch as he is, he’s excited, energon pumping through his circuits even faster than it already had been with the realization. He makes it his goal to touch every part of your body at least once during any love making session, tries to get you to finish as many times as you physically can and always makes sure you do before he does.
Bumblebee: Bumblebee being the bot he is, he adores it; it’s nice to see that you love being touched by him so much, to the point that when you’re interfacing with him, he’ll try to encourage you to praise him and give him guidance with lines like “you like it when I touch you like that, don’t you, honey?” or “tell me how you’re feeling right now/tell me how you want me to touch you”

Prowl: He’s super into you being as enthusiastic as you are about touching him and getting touched in return, but he also likes to make you earn it; makes you tell him exactly what you want and where you want it, makes you beg for him to touch you the way you want when he’s feeling especially frisky.

Ratchet: Unlike most of the younger bots on his team, Ratchet has a lot of experience interfacing, mostly with Cybertronians, but also with a few organics he’s come across in his travels. So, again, unlike the bots on his team, he doesn’t need to ask what you want or have to take time to figure you out past your sexual preferences and sensitive spots- and with how expressive you are, he has no problem figuring those things out. He finds himself taking an especially long time with foreplay so he can mentally ingrain the image of how you keen and moan for him when he touches you.

Bulkhead: He’s not the most sexual person, and considering his size, he’s scared to have sex with you at all initially. But when you start asking for it and start doing things to tease him like brushing your ass past his interface panel, nipping his neck when he hugs you, etc, he can’t help but take you, and when he does, you’re absolutely falling apart on top of him. He’s quick to notice that you really like when he squeezes your hips with his servos or grazes his dentas over your shoulder.

Ultra Magnus: You’re the most sensitive being he’s ever dealt with in the bedroom. After years and years of experience with Cybertronians, most of whom have more stamina than him nowadays and require a lot more than you during sex, he’s honestly shocked at how sensitive you are and how fast you finish. It’s appealing to him, of course, because he can make you cum with barely anything- shit drives him up the wall so bad he’s not sure what he’ll do if he ever had to find someone else.

Sentinel Prime: Let’s be honest, just like in the SFW version, he makes fun of you for it in the bedroom; teases you when you shiver at the mere feeling of him kissing your neck, talks down to you (if that’s what you’re into) for shivering when his digits brush over your thighs and for being so desperate for him. He’s not nearly as sensitive as you, but he’s smitten with watching you come undone in the intense, passionate way you always do beneath his digits/spike.

Jazz: Surprisingly, out of all the bots, he’s the least likely to feed into your sensitivity and desperation. Jazz knows how touch-starved you are and how intense things get in the bedroom when he has his servos anywhere near you, but he likes to take things slow, grazes his servos over you but urges you to do a lot of the work to get yourself off. The environment is slow and sensual as he edges you over and over again until you can’t take it anymore, and then let’s you finish.

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Megatron: Touch... Starved? Megatron doesn’t get it. Why would you want to be touched? Affection? It all sounded gross. Naturally, he got close to you since you were his advisor on earth, giving him battleplan ideas and information about humans, but no matter how close you were on a personal level, he’d never expected you to outright tell him that you were touch-starved and craving affection. The two of you have some downtime when the conversation starts, so he inquires about it, and you explain that love and affection are just... Human needs. He takes you a little too literally, and he doesn’t want the only human he likes to become unhealthy! So, as awkward as it is, he starts giving you the occasional backrub, backscratch, headpat, or side hug when you’re working in an attempt to fulfill that need.

Starscream: Starscream is the most touch-starved out of the mechs here. Most of the Decepticons don’t take him seriously and the Autobots certainly don’t love him, so it’s not like everyone is rushing to get in the kiss-Starscream’s-lonely-aft line. When you ask him for a hug for the first time, Starscream gives you some “of course, who wouldn’t want to hug the great Starscream” level bullshit, but inside, he’s giddy and desperate. So he hugs you tight and burns the feeling of your warmth against his touch receptors into his processors and touches you whenever he can, easily picking up on just how much you love it, even if it catches you offguard sometimes.

Lugnut: You were a longterm Decepticon hostage, and surprisingly enough, you were happy about the whole ordeal. The night Lugnut had been ordered to take you, your ex-SO had dumped you and kicked you out of your shared apartment, so you were basically roaming on the street without a place to stay. Lugnut approached you and told you the situation- the Decepticons needed a human hostage who they wouldn’t hurt but would use as a bargaining chip with the Autobots if the need ever arised, and you would be treated well and given a room to live in on base if you came with him voluntarily. You had also been laid off from your job recently and had no chance of finding a good place to stay since none of your family was in Detroit, so you agreed and went with him. The rest was history, but Lugnut could tell how depressed you got sometimes, and no matter how many tales of Megatron’s glory he told you, you didn’t seem to get much better, so one day he stops and asks you what he can do to make you feel better. You tell him that your old relationship was longterm and that you hadn’t been used to not being touched for such an extended period of time, so he takes you in his large arms the best he can and holds you for as long as you want. You melt into it and thank him, seeming somewhat tense, but still relieved.

Blitzwing: Blitzwing is very... Touchy. Not in a huggy, kissy, cuddly way, though. Blitzwing is the very casual, unintentional claws-brushing-your-lower-back-when-he-walks-by, resting his servos on your shoulder and standing behind you while you’re sitting down having a conversation, resting his chin on top of your head kind of touchy. He doesn’t notice it as Icy when you’re first brought to the Decepticon base as a human communicator of sorts for Megatron, but one day when Random’s claws brush over your back when he’s passing by and you shiver, he catches on really quick. Blitzwing being Blitzwing, he makes a game of sorts out of it; touches you as much as he can, starting out subtle and getting increasingly more bold just to see what he can get away with.

Blackarachnia: Going from being widely adored by many bots and constantly loved on by Optimus and Sentinel to being a bio-organic creature who many feared was a kick in the aft, so Blackarachnia knew what being touch-starved was like. Cybertronians, Decepticons and Autobots alike, thought she was disgusting and were scared to touch her. Organics found her terrifying and didn’t want to touch her either, on the rare occasion that she came across them, so when she was charged with watching you, a human hostage for the Decepticons, she didn’t want anything to do with you... That is, until she realized you were in a similar situation. You had been taken from your home with your human family under circumstances that weren’t your fault, and most of the Decepticons wouldn’t talk to you, let alone touch you- either afraid of organics or holding an unwarranted hatred for them. And she did, too, of course, but you were different. You were gentle and kind and needed to be loved like anyone else, and she didn’t want to deprive you of that like she’d been deprived. So, when you’re sitting together without anyone else around, she finds herself resting her head on your shoulder and talking to you. Your warmth feels nice against her, and surprisingly, you aren’t afraid of her. It eventually escalates to you reaching over and holding her hand when you sit together, riding on her back when the two of you go places, the two of you sleeping together, etc.

Lockdown: On the rare occasion that he’s on earth, he doesn’t mind taking part in human bounty hunting (albeit the very illegal, questionable, black market kind)- it’s a lot easier, and he can use the money to buy some tools and upgrades from earth or have the human currency exchanged into Cybertronion currency for other things. You’re his partner- you’d met when he was having a hard time with a surprisingly resourceful escape artist of a human, who you’d been hunting at the same time. You shot said human dead without hesitation, and naturally, he was immediately captivated. You split the profits of that hunt with him and got his contact information to work with him any time he was on earth from that point on. One time, when he was on earth, the two of you had ended up stranded in the middle of an ice cold tundra during a blizzard. He was warm enough to be alright, but there was no way of getting you out until the snow melted because his vehicle mode’s tires couldn’t drive in the storm (something he would be fixing with an upgrade very soon, mind you). He’d done enough research on humans to know that your body temperature would drop drastically and you’d die if you weren’t kept warm, so when he offered to transform into his vehicle mode and let you sleep in his back seat, but you decline and insist that you’re fine. He knows that’s bullshit, so he calls you out on it and asks why you won’t just be sensible and let him keep you warm, only for you to say that you’re not at all used to anyone being that inconsiderate of you or being that close to you. Lockdown somewhat understands- no one gives a rat’s ass about him in a personal sense, and he hasn’t had a lover or a friend in a very long time, but he still wants to make sure you’re okay. So, he wraps his arms around you and turns his heaters on blast, pulling you in without looking at you so he can keep you warm without embarrassing you too much. He relishes in having you so close after so long of skirting around you and realizes that he, also, isn’t used to being touched and wants to change it.

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NSFW BELOW THE CUT. Since the Tumblr anon who sent out the request basically said whether or not I wanted the piece to be suggestive or wholesome was up to my interpretation, I decided to make the half top SFW so everyone could read it and the bottom half NSFW for anyone who’s interested in that part of the request, as writing both sounded fun. Enjoy!

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Megatron: Giant prick, literally and figuratively. Megatron knows you’re desperate to be touched and takes advantage of it to make you do what he wants beforehand; makes you touch him first, ties you up and teases you- mostly verbally or with toys- to get the reactions he wants prior to any thoughts about giving you what you want. When he does finally touch you, though, he doesn’t build up to it, starting out with a fiery intensity and staying consistent with it the whole time.

Starscream: He wants to touch you and has no self-restraint, but you don’t always know that, so he’s able to get what he wants out of you; validation and attention. Before any touching from his end, he makes you beg for it and tell him in explicit detail how you want him to touch you, both so he knows exactly what you’re craving and because he gets off to the thought of you thinking about him doing such dirty things to you.

Lugnut: Probably the only mech in the bunch to just give you what you want without any teasing or making you wait. He loves how sensitive you are and how much you love his spike despite its large size, loves how reactive you are to his touch and just wants to give you everything you could ever want in the bedroom.

Blitzwing: Unlike some of the others who like making you talk in raunchy detail to tease you, Blitzwing (Icy, Random, and Hothead- all three) likes being ordered around. He wants you to tell him how to touch you so he can get you off just how you want him to, wants you to give demands/orders and be a bit controlling in the bedroom despite how touch-sensitive you are. It works, and though you always fall apart at the end, so stimulated that you can’t continue dominating him through the whole thing, that’s the best part for him.

Blackarachnia: Woman just takes full advantage and gives you what you want, but gives you WAY too much of it. Blackarachnia likes to use your sensitivity to overstimulate you with her mouth, her spike, toys- anything, and the louder you get, the harder she goes, even if it’s so much that your voice is going out and tears of overstimulation are welling up in your eyes.

Lockdown: He’s a bitch about it, solid mix between Starscream and Blitzwing; he loves hearing you talk and beg, but likes teasing you with his touches, light and teasing, until you finally get fed up and start telling him what you want without having to be verbally encouraged to do so.

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Optimus Prime: Face-sitting, body worship, breeding; Optimus Prime is what I’d consider a gentle dom, very soft in his reprimanding of any S/O he has, a sensual, slow, passionate top. He likes pulling you to sit on his face, and holding your thighs so you can’t move as he devours you for as long as he can get away with. Additionally, worshipping your body by kissing you head to toe and telling you every little thing he relishes in looking at on your figure is his favorite part. Sex/interfacing with Optimus usually ends with you on top of him, his hands on your hips to guide him up and down your spike so he can fill you with his transfluid, him whispering in your ear about how beautiful you are and how much he can’t wait to fill you up/see you bearing his sparklings.

Bumblebee: Praise, roleplay, thighs; Bumblebee is super into your thighs. Unlike Cybertronian thighs, yours are plush, soft, and pillowy; you can trap his head between them and squeeze as hard as possible without doing any damage. He loves being told how good he’s doing when he’s pleasing you, and though it’s usually reserved for special occasions, roleplay is something he enjoys because it gives him an opportunity to give something different, whether that be changing the dynamic or just escaping from himself for a bit.

Bulkhead: Mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, costumes; Bulkhead has a thing about watching you get yourself off, which was an accidental discovery. Before the two of you had even started dating, he’d accidentally walked in on you masturbating, two of your tiny fingers plunged into your tight heat and legs spread wide, (h/l) (h/c) locks fanned out underneath your head on your pillow and (s/c) skin burning bright red, (e/c) eyes half-lidded and glazed with lust. Back then, he had apologized profusely and left, slamming the door shut. But, when the two of you started dating and getting intimate, he asked you to masturbate in front of him so he could see it again, and it was ten times better when he was able to get himself off at the same time as you. Additionally, Bulkhead has an odd fascination with you withholding overloads from him and adores seeing you in costumes; lingerie get-ups, slutty halloween costumes, etc.

Ratchet: Hair-pulling, brat-taming, spanking; Ratchet’s not too hardcore, but he’s definitely on the rough side. When you’re good, he gives you everything he wants, fucking into your pliant body and holding your head still by your hair so he can kiss you and look at your blissed out face as he pleases. When you misbehave, though, he finds himself giving you warnings, whether that be him telling you to stop sending him lewd pictures while he’s working in the medbay or shooting you glares when you’re running your fingers over his interface panel underneath the table with Optimus Prime sitting right across the two of you. He waits until no one is around to punish you, bending you over and taking your clothes off so he can spank your ass as hard as he wants or fucking you and yanking your hair until you’re crying tears of overstimulation.

Prowl: Sensory deprivation, shibari bondage, spikewarming; Interfacing with Prowl feels like it never ends but also goes far too fast, because you have no way of feeling the passage of time with him; he likes to keep you blindfolded and tied up in complicated knots when you make love. There’s something about you completely submitting to him and allowing him to do so, trusting your body to his servos, allowing him to see and control you in such a vulnerable state that he gets off on. Prowl sinks his spike into you, slow and steady, and stays in one spot for just a bit too long to relish in how your heat squeezing around him feels.

Ultra Magnus: Pain play, minor pet/master, collars; Ultra Magnus basically uses you as a sex toy to take his day to day frustrations out on, WHOOPS. Wants everyone to know you’re his, has you pick out a collar to wear (he has a bracelet that matches), calls you kitten after doing research on human kinks and finding out about petplay, has you call him master in return when you’re having sex. He usually treats you like a princess, lavishing you with love and care and making sure you’re pampered, but he likes inflicting pain on you and watching you squirm, too.

Jazz: Cum/Transfluid-fixation/play, squirting, biting/slight bloodplay; Jazz is fascinated with your bodily fluids, as he is with many other things about the human body. The first time he fucks you so good that you squirt/cream around his spike, he’s hooked and becomes hellbent on making it happen most of the time you have sex; regularly licks it off of you/his own fingers, eats you out, anything he can do to make you finish like that. The bloodplay is pretty rare, but he’s fixated with biting you during sex and drawing just enough blood to lap up with his glossa.

Sentinel Prime: Humiliation, bondage, spitting; Sentinel Prime is a bit complicated, IMO, just depends on who he’s with/how he’s feeling on any particular day. Sometimes, he feels like tying your hands to the headboard and talking down to you while forcing eye contact and fucking you slow and hard. Other days, he wants you to be the one to tie him down and ride his spike, wants you to force his mouth open, spit in it, and make him swallow it. Really just depends on the vibe, lol, but either way, Sentinel is into some questionable/humiliating shit that he wouldn’t ever admit to anyone else.

Blurr: Edging, overstimulation, quickies; Blurr isn’t above pulling you into any random restroom on earth or storage closet on Cybertron to interface, because he gets pent up very easily and is impatient when it comes to getting his release. He finds the thrill of being under a time constraint and possibly getting caught arousing. As impatient as he is when it comes to his own pleasure, he doesn’t mind making you impatient by edging you multiple times throughout the day, getting you close to cumming, only to stop and go do something else. On the other end of the spectrum, he loves overstimulating you and can’t get enough of the moans/expression you give when he keeps pulling orgasms from your sensitive body.

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Megatron: Exhibitionism, sexual coercion, bondage; Megatron enjoys fucking you in risky, public places (i.e; restrooms if you’re on earth, or a half-open closet if you’re on Cybertron/his ship/base) where someone/somebot could walk in at any second. The thought of someone seeing you splayed out with him on top of you, claiming you as his, really gets him going. He also loves to feel like he has to convince you to to let him frag you, loves whispering dirty words in your ear and overwhelming you with his touch until you give into him. Tying you down or knotting your wrists together behind your back only makes it 10x better because you’re completely and utterly under his control.

Blitzwing: Objectification, humiliation, submission; Likes being used like a sex object/doll, really into being held down and rode/fucked into overstimulation by you, ordered around, talked down to and told what to do (if anything, sometimes just relishes in being held down and forced to take/give it). There’s something about being taken care of and taking care of someone else in such a rough manner that really gets him.

Lugnut: Praise, size-kink, gagging; Lugnut’s into you telling him how good he’s doing in bed, what you like about him physically, how good you feel when he touches you, etc- it’s all made better by the fact that, as a human, you’re so much smaller than him; he absolutely dwarfs you in size and knows that he can do whatever he want to you, especially revels in when you let him grab you by your hair and fuck your mouth with his spike so hard that you gag around his length, tears welling up in your eyes.

Starscream: Roleplay, bondage, electricity play; Starscream’s discovery of roleplay was kind of by accident, if that makes sense. The two of you were having sex and you made the mistake (or, right choice) of babbling about how much of a strong, powerful leader he was... Yeah, let that one sink in. You’d just said it because you knew it appealed to him, but now Starscream enjoys roleplaying with him being the Decepticon ruler and you being his human servant. Occasionally, though, he enjoys switching it up and letting you put him in stasis cuffs so you can take control/”overthrow” him.

Swindle: Stripping, dirty talk, thighs; Okay, he made the mistake of going to a human strip club ONE time and met you. It is extremely out of character for him to do so, and he didn’t want to admit it to anybot, but when he saw you working, he knew he had to have you and watched you for the entire night, throwing whatever cash he had onto the stage as you danced on the pole. That’s the origin story for his stripping kink. However, you didn’t start dating until much later, but that was another story. He loves your thighs, loves massaging them in his servos and feeling them squeeze his hips when the two of you interface. When you two do, he usually whispers what he’s going to do in your ear and eggs you on the best he can as he fucks you.

Shockwave: Sensory deprivation, dubious consent roleplay, breeding; Unlike some of the others where they’re just content keeping your hands bound, Shockwave doesn’t want you to be able to move at all or feel anything except for his touch. This mech’s like something straight out of 50 shades. If you’re okay with it, he enjoys tying you up spread eagle for him and putting a blindfold and a gag on you. When that’s not happening, he enjoys some rather risky roleplay (through all of this you use the green, yellow, red traffic light safe word system if either of you get uncomfortable at any point), usually formulaic in the sense that you try to physically resist him as he ties you up and breeds you like you’re a femme in heat.

Lockdown: Predator/prey, marking, domination; Firstly, always has the overwhelming desire to bite your neck and shoulders, chest and tummy, ass and thighs, just likes leaving hickeys and marks in the shape of his teeth to show everyone that you’re his. Like Shockwave, likes making a game of catching you and pulling you into him for interfacing with you half-heartedly acting like you aren’t interested for the first time, then eventually giving into him and begging for it.

Soundwave: Sensory deprivation, hands, choking; Unlike Shockwave, he likes having HIS senses taken away, namely his hearing; most nights in bed, he’s wearing a blindfold and noise-canceling headphones. The thrill has to do with not having any idea of what you’re going to do to him next, having no control, and allowing someone else to take the reigns for once. He’s also obsessed with your small hands and the way they feel so hot compared to his cool metal, especially when they’re squeezing around his neck.

Blackarachnia: Whipping, wax play, sadism; Obviously a textbook sadist and no one can convince me otherwise. This femme will have you crying and desperate, whipping you with whatever she can get her hands on and dripping wax over your soft skin as a toy buzzes away between your legs. She gets off on inflicting pain and pleasure at the same time/being in complete control of you, especially enthralled with the fact that you let her, even asking her to be particularly rough with you on the nights you’re feeling up to it.

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Optimus Prime: Magnolia (dignity, splendid beauty)
Bumblebee: Yellow alyssum (worth beyond beauty)
Ratchet: Red violets (modesty and simplicity)
Prowl: Dandelion (oracle of time and love, faithfulness, happiness)
Bulkhead: Wisteria (youth and art/poetry)
Blurr: Daisy (gentleness, innocence, loyal love)
Ultra Magnus: Orchids (magnificence, beauty, refinement)
Sentinel Prime: Anemone (refusal and abandonment/abandoning)
Jazz: Snowdrop (hope and consolation)
Blurr: Peony (healing, life)
Arcee Pink roses (grace, love, gentility)
Rodimus Prime: Rose coral, orange (enthusiasm/desire)
Jetfire: Goldenrod (treasure and good fortune)
Jetstorm: Elderberry (humility and kindness)
Megatron: Narcissus (egotism, formality)
Starscream: Mimossa (sensitivity, fragility)
Lugnut: Purple heather (admiration)
Blitzwing: Jonquil (violent sympathy and desire)
Blackarachnia: Hydrangea (vanity, fragility)
Shockwave: Hollyhock (ambition and liberality)
Soundwave: Burdock (importunity and boredom)
Wasp: Cornflower (delicacy)
Swindle: Tiger lily (wealth and pride)
Lockdown: Clove (dignity and restraint)

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-You're Ultra Magnus's kid. Imagine he had you with whoever you want, not really concerned with that, but yeah.

-You’re the same age as Optimus, but you were always very sheltered due to Ultra Magnus wanting to keep you protected from his enemies, so you received private training to join the Elite Guatd and were very well guarded from the public until then after Ultra Magnus’s carrier died in battle.

-Optimus never gets the chance to interact with you much, but he’s seen you a lot considering that Ultra Magnus actually trusts you. You’re a beautiful, strong-looking femme with bright optics and a (f/c) and white paint-job. Usually, you’re with Ultra Magnus or with Sentinel Prime and his squad, but something he notices about you is that you’re very... Kind and casual.

-He figures it’s something about having been raised by someone so formal and stiff that you’ve developed such an easygoing personality, but you do get rather serious when it’s appropriate. You’re intelligent, an amazing strategist, and brilliant in combat- he can’t help but admire you when he sees you around Ultra Magnus during his academy training.
What starts as interest and admiration turns into adoration and respect when Elita-One has her accident. You object in court when Sentinel pins the blame on him, and though Ultra Magnus quickly tells you to stand down, he appreciates the gesture.

-There had always been a tension between the two of you that he couldn’t explain, his feelings aside. Any time he went to stare at you, you were already looking at him, your gaze intense. Any time he would walk by you, you seem to touch him somehow- a servo on his shoulder, digits brushing past his back, shoulder bumping into his- something. He isn’t sure if it’s accidental or not.

-You don’t really see each other after that court hearing though- you join the Elite Guard and become a Prime alongside Sentinel, whose guts you hate, and he becomes a space bridge technician. His interest fades for a bit once he crashes on earth and starts his battle against the Decepticons there with his team, but he can’t help thinking of you every once in a while and blushing whenever one of the other bots mentions your name in passing. He finds himself missing having you around sometimes, even if you didn’t get to interact much.

-Even when Sentinel and the Elite Guard show up on earth, you don’t come with them, occupied with business matters back on Cybertron.

-After the attack on Ultra Magnus, as pissed off as Sentinel Prime is about it and as much as Sentinel Prime tries to appeal the decision in court, you’re appointed the new Magnus.

-The final battle with the Decepticons happens, and Optimus- for the first time in a long time- returns to Cybertron to give you back your father’s hammer, which Sentinel had tried to take from you behind your back, only for Ratchet to go to Cybertron, take it, and bring it back to him.

-He enters your quarters and finds you working on preparations for Ultra Magnus’s and Prowl’s funerals, as Ultra Magnus’s injuries were too great for him to survive and Prowl had sacrificed himself in the final battle. Optimus was just grateful that you were making sure both were given a proper service even though you had so many other things to be juggling as the new Magnus.

-It was late, so you were alone working since you didn’t like having guards around you, and he had come by himself.

-He apologizes for having kept the hammer for so long and offers it back, only for you to tell him that it’s better suited to him anyways- you wouldn’t use it, it brings back too many memories of your father who you’re still grieving and you have your own weapons that you’re already accustomed to. After that, he finds himself watching you work, utterly captivated by how much you’ve matured in what felt like such a short amount of time.

-He’s unsure of what to do and doesn’t want to overstay his welcome, so he turns to leave, only for you to tell him to sit down at your work table- you say you have some high quality oil you’ve been dying to share with somebot, and Sentinel just doesn’t make the cut, Jazz is still on earth, etc.

Optimus agrees and sits down across from you, both of you with your own container of oil. The two of you are restrained and handle your drinks well, so neither of you overdo it, and all the oil does is relax the mood. After a few moments of silence, you finally come out with it.

-“I think you’ve done well despite everything you’ve been through. How would you feel about becoming the commander of the Elite Guard?”

-He’s baffled, obviously. How was he to go from being shunned for Elita’s accident to commander of the Elite Guard? How would Cybertron react? “What about Sentinel?”

-“My father always had a soft spot for him, so I won’t kick him to the streets, but I don’t want him having such a huge responsibility. I’m thinking about giving him a position as my guard.”

-You’d never liked having guards around, but it was a fair idea. Ultra Magnus would’ve preferred you had one, and the one time he was unguarded, Shockwave took advantage.

-“Do you think I’m ready for such a huge responsibility more than Sentinel Prime?”

-“I consider us equals,” You admit. Optimus is taken aback by it, but finds himself reflecting; maybe he’s a bit too relaxed from all the drinks, but maybe he’s also become more aware of just how short life is and how much more honest he needs to be with himself and others due to the recent events.

-So, he decides to tell you the truth. “If you consider us equals, then... I’d like to tell you something important. Honestly.”

-“Go on.”

-“You’ve always been above me, so I haven’t felt it appropriate- even now, it feels questionable, but I feel like you need to know, and life is so short... I’ve always been fond of you, (y/n).”

-“I’m fond of you, too, Optimus.”

-“No, I mean... I’ve developed feelings for you, over the stellar cycles. Ever since we were in training.”

-You don’t even hesitate, LMAO. You just lean across the table and push everything to the side so you can grab him by his shoulders and slam his lips against yours.

-Apparently, he wasn’t imagining the tension after all-

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• Optimus needs a lot of help understanding your sense of humor and all the jokes you make, as well as the verbiage you use. Honestly just needs help with earth stuff in general, but comprehends the concept of different generations pretty quick after it’s explained to him- like how there are different generations of bots, pre-war and newer war mods etc., except there are more generations of humans since they have a generally shorter lifespan.
• Optimus, despite being older than anyone on earth, finds your generation the most relatable; boomers and above are too old and set in their ways for him to really understand most of the time, and the humans tend to be stubborn- though some of them are also very sweet and well educated, he also just doesn’t get to interact with them much. Anyone younger he sees like Sari or her friends, so he doesn’t mind them either and tends to work well with them, but when it comes to humans, he finds your age-range/generation the most attractive when it comes to friendship and, pertaining to you specifically, a romantic relationship.
• You’re very open, warm, kind, and (oddly enough, the thing he’s most attracted to) funny. He’s the type of mech who, once he realizes he’s interested in you, will do everything he can to find out stuff about you and make your interests his own so he can understand everything you talk about/make you feel special.
• He just wants to have stuff in common with you and feel closer to you.
• It’s embarrassing when you first start dating. He starts picking up your generational speak to the point that other bots get annoyed with it; sus, fam, bet, etc. Doesn’t fully understand them either. Sentinel is being annoying? “That’s sus,”. The Autobots have to go somewhere? “Come on, fam.”. You find it so funny that you don’t even try to stop him, only using increasingly ridiculous words to see just where his limit is.
• You show him memes and he... Doesn’t really understand them, but tries his best and isn’t above pretending he gets it to make you happy/make sure you don’t stop sharing your thing with him.
• You guys watch a lot of stuff together; early 2000s cartoons, Friends, Family Guy, etc. He doesn’t get a lot of it either but some of it is funny and it makes you happy, so it makes him happy, too. 
• Just a very wholesome, confused botboi utterly in love with you and all your stuff lmao.

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• Megatron: He doesn’t understand this shit AT ALL. It’s painful and embarrassing. “(y/n), I don’t quite understand the objective of this game. What’s the point of staying in the closet with another for seven minutes? Is it something humans have a hard time with? Do we just sit here? I know you organics can’t focus on one task for too long, but if seven minutes is about a breem-” “Megatron, no, let me explain-”. When you explain, the closet gets pretty... Quiet, and filled with a certain tension that you can’t quite describe until he finally goes “May I?”. You could guess what he wanted, so you nod and wait for him to lean down to your height so he can run a servo over your hair, claws gently brushing over your scalp before he caresses your cheek and presses his lips against yours.
• Starscream: This little fucker picked Seven Minutes In Heaven because, one, earth game (and he wanted to appeal to you), and two, he wanted an excuse to be locked in a closet/make out with you. Even insisted you go first on spinning the metal bottle because he knew it would land on him thanks to the super strong magnet he kept on his person to rig the game so you two would end up together. Everybot knows but doesn’t really bother saying anything and just lets Starscream have his way. Instead of just being cool and calm or super sweet about it, the second you’re in there, he’s trapping you with a servos on either side of your head against the wall with a “Hey, how about I make this seven minutes in heaven for you, (y/n)?”. You’ve always had a little crush on him and can’t help but think it’s cute, so you nod with a blush and allow him to take your lips with his.
• Blitzwing: Being chosen as your partner was a disaster from beginning to end, not even gonna lie. Hothead is active when you’re chosen and throws a fit about the whole predicament, but when you’re tossed in the closet with him, Random takes over and asks multiple questions about the game; “This seems pointless, doesn’t it? Just locked in a closet for this amount of organic time? Why don’t we break out and give Starscream a taste of his-” You cut him off with a kiss, and then when you pull away, you explain that the point of the game is to either sit awkwardly or make out/get a quickie in whilst in the closet, and Icy laughs at his previous ignorance before going back in for another kiss.
• Lugnut: Initially, Lugnut is sad that he’s not paired up with Megatron, but he’s just glad that the gamenight he planned with you is seeming to lift Megatron’s spirits (whether the Decepticon leader admits it or not). The two of you spend most of the time in the closet talking about how well the game night has gone, Lugnut holding you for a bit and you giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. Tbh, he probably comes to your quarters after the party ends that night to get more kisses despite not having the guts to do much in closet. 
• Shockwave: This one’s kind of funny. A lot like Megatron, he doesn’t get the point of the game, but he’s not as talkative about it. He mostly just sits there and stares at you from across the closet, not able to hold contact between his optic(s) and your eyes. You finally ask if he knows what the game is for since you know he’s not that well-versed in that kind of thing, to which he says he’s heard of it, but wouldn’t mind you explaining if you wanted (AKA he has no idea and needs you to explain but doesn’t want to admit it). You tell him what it’s like on earth, but also tell him that every experience you’ve had with it has been bad and awkward. He’s always been fond of you despite you being an organic, so he asks if you’d like to experience something better as smoothly as he can, and when you say “sure”, he rests his servo on the small of your back and pulls you in to hold you in his arms. 
• Blackarachnia: She’s pretty unenthused, not gonna lie. Sentinel dragged her into enough of these games behind Optimus’s backplates when they were in the academy at parties, but she considered herself attractive and desirable back then, and now... She was bitter and angry. The Decepticons either saw her as a scary, organic monster to detest and fear at worst, or just as a comrade at best. No one found her attractive- or so she thought- but then she got locked in the closet with you. She’s planning out how to act annoyed and disgusted by you so you won’t notice how upset she is at the whole situation until you shyly ask if you’re allowed to kiss her- it takes her off guard, but it’s been a while since she’s felt another’s lips against hers and she misses it, so she indulges you. Later that night, she shows up at your quarters for more (+ cuddles), as you’d imagine.
• Swindle: This is... So not his thing. He could’ve spent his night helping Lockdown with bounty hunts or cheating corrupt Autobots to make money, but no, he was just so smitten with you that when you’d invited him to the Decepticon game night of all things, he couldn’t help but go... His original plan was to just lurk and stare at you the whole time, but him being the life of the party he was, he couldn’t help but get involved with the games, and... When he got put into the closet with you for the game, he was wise enough to know what it was and chose to participate, asking if he could get a kiss in exchange for coming with you tonight. You make a joke, and even thoug he’s not expecting you to actually take him up on his deal, you do, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning up to kiss him with that beautiful laugh of yours being cut off by his own lips.

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• Optimus: He’s just as confused as you’d expect him to be, not gonna lie. He didn’t help Bumblebee pick out the games like some of the others did, so one minute, he’s sitting on the ground in a circle spinning a bottle, and the next second, Bumblebee is shoving him into a closet with you. He hears them outside talking though; “is he finally going to make a move on them”, “I bet they’ll be making out when we open the door” etc, so he pieces it together pretty quick, and that combined with the fact that you’re literally inches from him makes him so ungodly nervous that he can’t bring himself to do anything but hug you and go “this is good, right?”. It’s just very soft and sweet, as you’d imagine it being with a bot like him. 
• Ratchet: “God, I’m too old for this,” Ratchet complains as soon as you’re locked in the closet with him. He’d done the research about games with Bumblebee, but hadn’t possessed the energy to argue against this particular one. He’d never expected that out of everybot there, though, he’d get paired with the only human; you, who he’d been hiding feelings for... For an embarrassingly long amount of time. He doesn’t like sitting in the closet with you silently, so he just finds more and more reasons to complain to fill the void, only for you to cut him off with a kiss. 
• Prowl: Prowl’s pretty neutral about the game but does very much want to kiss you tbh. He’s aware of the fact that most people make out in the closet, but he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or push your boundaries when he has to spend seven entire minutes with you, and he admires your friendship more than a kiss or two. However, if you initiate? He’s all over it; “how many kisses do you think we could fit into such a small timeframe? Let’s test it,” “I think we’re going to win this game,” etc. If you don’t initiate a kiss in the closet for whatever reason, he’ll still sit right next to you for the rest of the night and hope you offer to kiss him later.
• Bumblebee: Researched games and nearly blew a circuit upon reading that there was a game where two people (or, a bot and a person, or two bots) could be locked in a closet together and were expected to make out. He decides to use the game and bribes Ratchet with not bothering him in his medbay for an entire vorn to (discreetly) use his magnetic ray from across the room to make the metal bottle land on you when Bee spins it. You two go into the closet together and, against his better judgement, Bumblebee immediately moves to hold your hands in his servos and pulls you in for a gentle kiss. 
• Bulkhead: In Bulkhead’s scenario, Bumblebee plans the game to make you and Bulkhead finally have a moment. Everyone is in on the scheme, so when Bulkhead spins the bottle and it lands on you due to Blurr planting a magnet in your pocket without you realizing it, no one is surprised except for you and Bulkhead. The two of you have been pining for forever, everyone/everybot is sick of it, so you’re paired. A lot of the time is spent with the two of you talking and trying to play off how awkward the situation really is, but you end up gathering the courage to stand on your tip toes and give Bulkhead a peck on the cheek. 
• Ultra Magnus: This goes very similarly to how it did in my TFA With A Touch/Affection Starved Human headcanons, since this is a similar scenario. Ultra Magnus doesn’t quite understand the objective of the game until you explain it to him, at which point, he’s all over you. That’s the objective, after all, isn’t it?
• Jazz: Unlike all of the other mechs, where the situation is tense or awkward or goes way too fast, Jazz is pretty chill about things- like yeah, he likes you, but he’s logical enough to know that neither of you know exactly when the door is going to be opened and don’t want it to be opened on the two of you making out. Still, as soon as the door shuts, he finds his servos drifting to your hips and his chassis leaning forward so you’re crowded back against the wall. The two of you, wordlessly, exchange a few slow and sensual kisses, and then split up and have some casual conversation for the rest of the time until the door is opened. 
• Sentinel Prime: Being locked in the closet with him is arguably the worst to start off with. Sentinel is a bitch about it despite agreeing to play the game, and gets angry at the concept of his partner being “an organic”, but once you two are actually in the closet, he shuts his trap and backs as far up against the nearest wall as he can with his arms crossed. Seconds later, though, he relaxes and reaches out for one of your hands, which he holds in his servo. You two stay like that for a moment before he decides he can’t take the tension/doesn’t care anymore, backs you up against the wall, and heatedly captures your lips with his. 
• Blurr: Did enough of his research the day before upon hearing what the lineup of games was to know what he’s supposed to do upon being locked in the closet with you. Blurr is a gentlebot, though, so he has the decency to ask “is it okay if I kiss you? I believe that’s the point,”, and when you nod, he starts with a kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then on your cheeks, then your chin, and finally, he pulls back to look at you before going for a slow, sweet kiss on the mouth.

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• Optimus Prime: Hot chai, cinnamon, and all spice 
• Bumblebee: Lemon and honey
• Bulkhead: The air from that one day when recess was good at elementary school and a clean, crisp lake 
• Prowl: Old but clean library books and ash
• Ratchet: The warm kitchen when you’re almost done baking a cake and gunpowder
• Ultra Magnus: Fresh linen and daisies
• Sentinel Prime: Sandalwood and oak
• Jazz: Sage and cedarwood 
• Blurr: Vanilla and blueberries
• Arcee: Strawberries and roses
• Megatron: Lavender and licorice 
• Starscream: New clothes and pineapple soda 
• Lugnut: Newly cut grass and dirt from a tended garden
• Blitzwing: A camp fire that was just put out and outside right before it rains
• Shockwave: The inside of one of those dark, moody coffee shops and home-grown herbs 
• Soundwave: Lime and the middle of the bread section at the grocery store
• Lockdown: Almond and shea butter 
• Swindle: Newly printed money from the bank and new car
• Blackarachnia: Violets and orange

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• Oh my God, he hates it with everything in his entire being.
• It starts simply enough. When he arrives on earth, he notices that, like the tiny rude organic known as Sari, you’re around the Autobots all the time. Like... All the time. Helping them find All Spark fragments, doing research for them, helping Isaac Sumdak with his creations, taking care of Sari.
• So, since you’re a tiny adult human and he has unchecked mental health issues that he likes to take out on others, he starts off trying to be mean to you. 
• The first time, he trips you while walking past you in the hallway. You don’t notice it was intentional, but fall pretty hard and scrape your hands up so badly that you’re tearing up. Sentinel refuses to apologize or acknowledge that he’s in the wrong but feels oddly guilty and decides to help you take care of your hands. You’re very thankful, offering him a hug, which he denies and runs off because of, spewing some half-assed insults on his way out.
• He can’t get you off his processor after that. He feels like a shitbag for not even owning up to being the one who tripped you and feels like a loser for helping you. You’re an organic, he hates you like the rest of them, he doesn’t feel bad for you.
• Next time he sees you, he tries again to be mean to you, making a comment on what you’re wearing and asking what trashcan you dug it out of. Most humans get frustrated and yell at him or insult him back when he talks to them like that unprompted, but you only shrug him off and asks if he’s feeling alright or wants to sit down to cool down for a moment. Uh. Huh? He’s confused at first, utterly perplexed that you might think he’s weak, upset, or hurt, or... Something, but then his confusion turns to anger, and again, he storms off, unsure of how to handle someone who’s not angry at or annoyed by him.
• You pay a lot of attention to him after that and he hates it; always trying to offer him things, share smalltalk, take him places, etc. He hates it even more when he notices just how much everyone else loves you, too; Sari was fine, and so was Optimus and his stupid pile of scrap metal that he called a team, but ULTRA MAGNUS? Oh, it had him fuming from his exhaust pipes. Even Ultra Magnus was charmed by you and looked for whatever excuse he could get to talk to you on earth. 
• Okay, whatever. Everyone and everybot likes you, so Sentinel is convinced he hates you for that and for having a holier-than-thou attitude that won’t allow you to retaliate against him when he’s rude to you even though all he wants is for you to feed into it. Totally.
• That is until he starts getting... Jealous, namely of Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime for talking to you so much. The embarrassing thing is that he can’t even pinpoint it at first; all he knows is that he gets pissed off when he sees Optimus giving you a shoulder rub after a long day and having a conversation with him over dinner (for you) and energon (for Optimus) and gets pissed off when he sees you, a human, walking by Ultra Magnus’s side and casually conversing with him like he’s your equal. 
• “I don’t get it, Jazz! Why is she talking to both of them like that? Why is it making me so mad?” 
• “Could it be... You aren’t so much mad that she’s a human who’s close with Ultra Magnus, but that you’re jealous of O.P. and Ultra Magnus for being so close to (y/n) when you’re not?”
• The conversation with Jazz had been impromptu and a big mistake, as he blew a fuse immediately after and had to be taken to Ratchet for some minor repairs. Everyone is concerned, no one has any idea what’s going on, but he’s stuck in Ratchet’s medbay for a day and you’re asked to watch him overnight since you’re the most qualified to do any fixes should he have any issues, and Ratchet needs to recharge. 
• “So... What happened?”
• “Don’t worry about it! Primus, you humans are always so nosy-” Sentinel starts scolding you and moves to get up from the medberth, but you place a gentle hand on his servo and he can’t help but freeze in place. 
• “I’m not doing this with you tonight, Sentinel Prime. Recover and let me stay by your side to make sure you’re okay.”
• “Just leave! I’ll be fine, I’m a member of the-”
• “I know.”
• “Then why do you care!?”
• “Because I know you can be kind, and whether you want to or not, you need to rest and have someone monitor you over night! You blew a fuse in your head, and while that itself is a minor injury, if you do it again it’s going to be harder to fix and you could blow more. I’d rather not extent your stay in here.”
• Naturally, he asks what you, as a human, could possibly know about robots/Cybertronians and their health. After getting him to lay back down, you tell him about how you used to work for Isaac Sumdac as a scientist before you started taking care of Sari when he disappeared, and that right after the Autobots arrived on earth, you studied them closely enough to figure out most of their anatomy and received some training under Ratchet to act as a second medic for them.
• Oh. That makes sense. Sentinel feels a bit foolish but doesn’t say anything and waits until he can fall into recharge, but when he wakes up the next morning, you’re sitting on a stool by his berthside, passed out with your head resting on his thigh.
• He doesn’t have the heart to wake you up and pretends to still be resting with his optics shut until Ratchet comes in and wakes you up himself.
• He’s released with a clean bill of health and immediately goes to find Jazz.
• “What do you mean by that!?”
• “Uh, slow down before you blow another fuse, S.P., but you know what I meant,” Jazz laughed at him, and naturally, Sentinel took a few to process what had been said the previous day.
• Jazz was implying that Sentinel wasn’t mad at you for being a human and interacting with Optimus/Ultra Magnus, but that he was mad at Optimus and Ultra Magnus for interacting with you because...
• Oh. Sentinel realized that he was jealous, and in not being able to be mean to you anymore, he found himself watching you a lot. You were intelligent, kind, attractive... The opposite of him, to be honest, but when it hit him all at once, he ends up having a melt down of sorts.
• Locking himself in his berth on Ultra Magnus’s ship for days on end, not drinking enough energon, going between sleeping to escape his feelings and pacing around doing nothing but dwelling on them, Sentinel Prime is a mess when he realizes that he has a crush on you. It makes sense, but... Why did it have to be an organic? He can’t even cope with it.
• Eventually, he snaps out of it and decides that he’s going to take the logical approach with this; ignore his feelings and push them deep, deep down in his spark so he doesn’t have to acknowledge or deal with them. He shouldn’t like you anyways, right? You’re just a stupid human!
• Except... You’re not. You’re beautiful, you’re brilliant, you’re caring, and a million other things he cares not to admit. So he’s stuck. He won’t confess his feelings to you or really think about them because he knows all he’s ever done is be mean to you, and honestly, he doesn’t deserve you and is afraid of you rejecting him.
• Things stay stagnant for a while, but he’s a little nicer to you. Still rude, still making unnecessary comments about you being a human, but hey, he doesn’t try to trip you anymore and is always defending you when anyone/anybot brings up your name behind your back. Every other Autobot catches on to what’s happening but just doesn’t say anything because they know Sentinel will try to pummel them LMAO. 
• But then... Valentine’s day rolls around. For whatever reason, he decides to hang around earth that day and learn about the customs since you and Sari seem excited to teach him and the other Autobots about it.
• A day of romance where lovers give each other gifts... Okay, so basically, nothing to do with him, but he notices that Sari, Bee, and Bulkhead decide to go see a movie since they don’t have anyone/anybot to do anything with, and Ratchet goes off to work in his medbay, while Jazz and Prowl suddenly disappear to do their own thing and Ultra Magnus is preoccupied with work on his ship. That just leaves Sentinel, you, and Optimus.
• The amount of frustration in him when Optimus hands you a bouquet of (f/c) roses is something he can’t even comprehend. So, when you walk off to go find a vase to put them in, Sentinel turns to his old friend with a glare.
• “Who do you think you are? How long have you felt that way towards her?”
• “Uh, Sentinel? (y/n) and I are just really good friends? I know she’s what her species would refer to as “single” at the moment and I didn’t think you’d do anything for her, so I got her those to make her feel special tonight.”
• “What’s that supposed to mean!?” Sentinel exclaims at Optimus’s bold assumption that he wouldn’t do anything for you for Valentine’s day... Which was totally true. He didn’t have the guts to buy you flowers or chocolates or any of the other things that Sari said humans liked for the occasion, but apparently Optimus did, and while he now knew that Optimus didn’t have any romantic feelings towards you, it still hurt. 
• “It means that even though you’ve been obsessed with her since the Elite Guard got here, you treat her with no kindness whatsoever because you’re too prideful to admit your feelings and want to cover them up,” Optimus puts a hand on his shoulder. “Now, I’m going to go spend the rest of the night with Ratchet so he isn’t by himself, but I’ll leave you to figure this out. Good luck, old buddy.”
• Optimus walks off, and the words hit hard. Sentinel knows that what his friend said is right, so when you get back with the roses in a vase to set down on the table and ask him where Optimus went, he decides it’s time. Without dwelling on it too much, he grabs your hands to hold in his servos, standing in the middle of the living room and spilling his guts out to you before telling you “Happy Valentine’s Day... Or whatever,” and pulling you in for a kiss.
• Thankfully, you reciprocate.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Dude... He’s overly cautious with you. Doesn’t want you to use your powers until you fully understand them, doesn’t want you in the eye of the public, doesn’t want the Decepticons to know you exist, but it’s out of some weird combination of guilt and love that he has over you. He’s fallen in love with you from the very start, but he feels guilty that you’re always brought into his conflict with the Decepticons and even targeted by them, and sometimes that comes off in the wrong way. There’s conflicts all the time between the two of you, because while you argue that you’re an adult who’s fully capable of handling your own safety, he argues that he’s just trying to protect you and that for both of your sakes, you need to heed his advice. I imagine one of these arguments gets so heated that he just comes out of the box and admits to you that he’s not doing it only out of obligation, but out of the intense love he feels for you. 
• Ratchet: He’s definitely more mature than the others about it. He worries about you, but knows that you’re a capable adult, and that you aren’t his property to protect and lock down, but a beautiful, thinking, strong techno-organic who he simply wants to see happy. So, his form of protectiveness is mostly just tagging along when you go places and helping you when you either ask for it or clearly need it, but those things don’t happen very often. He’s happy supporting and loving you from the sidelines.
  
  
• Bulkhead: You revealed that you were techno-organic to the Autobots as soon as you met and that you’d grown up that way after some sort of failed experiment that you didn’t want to get into the traumatic details of, but Bulkhead felt like he understood you pretty well. Both of you were large and scary compared to others of your species, often feared without others getting to know you first because of your power, judged without question, so he felt like he got you to a certain extent. He becomes noticeably protective of you after you start trying to join their battles with the Decepticons against Optimus’s orders, telling you that it’s not your responsibility to get involved in their conflict. You end up confessing afterwards that you love him and appreciate how kind he’s been to you, and that any battle of his is a battle of yours, and he can’t help but feel the same way. 
  
  
• Bumblebee: Bumblebee is both irresponsible and obsessed with you from the very start, which is a horrible combo. He was interested in you before he found out you were techno-organic, before you even technically joined their team, but for some reason, when you revealed your powers to the Autobot team to protect him from Blitzwing in the middle of a battle, he was told by Optimus to protect you- which made sense, of course. Decepticons were closing in on them and both the Elite Guard and the Decepticons wanted to take you for their own causes, and with Bumblebee being the closest to you and the best at getting out of conflicts fast, it was his job. He doesn’t take it as seriously as he probably should and uses it as an excuse to spend time with you, but you don’t seem to mind, enjoying the time watching movies and playing videogames and teaching him your hobbies/skills. 
  
  
• Prowl: Prowl finds techno-organics quite fascinating; you’re soft skin and (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) with metal on your body in your transformed mode. You’re very alive and soft and delicate, but strong and durable and tough at the same time. He admires your beauty, your intelligence, your abilities, and doesn’t mind you assisting him and his team in combat like some of the others would, but he finds that he frequently has to help you assist in warding off attempts from Decepticons like Starscream, Lugnut, Blitzwing, and even Swindle to convince you to join them and help their cause with your powers. He doesn’t mind that either, enjoys the bonding that comes with battling by your side, even. The two of you sneak off a lot and go on camping trips together.
  
  
• Ultra Magnus: The main reason you interact with him is that since unlike Sari, you’re an adult, and he wants to get to the bottom of how Cybertronian technology got into human hands to make techno-organics like yourself and Sari. So, with you and your team’s permission, he has the best scientists in the Elite Guard come to earth to do studies and research on you. He’s typically around supervising, and you and him become close, to say the least. He didn’t think he’d have much in common with you since you’re a young adult human and he’s an older Cybertronian, but you two have a lot of the same struggles; alienated by those you’re around for the power you hold, a lack of close relationships, unsure of how to handle all of your responsibility and the pressure to perform that comes with both of your positions. It’s difficult, and though he doesn’t divulge much, he finds it therapeutic to talk to you when no one else is around and finds himself harboring feelings for you after a while. 
  
  
• Sentinel Prime: Sentinel assumes you’re just any regular human until he sees you absolutely clobber the Headmaster in your newly transformed, techno-organic body to get his body back for him after you and Optimus find his head on the city streets of Detroit. He didn’t know you possessed that kind of power and realized there was a reason for that lack of knowledge when Optimus immediately started scolding you for using your powers. After that, you were on the news since some reporter caught camera footage of you in your robotic form, and Decepticons started trying to lure you out of the base and talk to you/talk you into joining them. If Sentinel was being honest, he’d been wary of you at first for being organic, but after you stepped up to get his body back for him with Optimus despite him having been so rude to you, his opinion changed, and he quickly started developing feelings. So, he volunteered himself to help guard you from the Decepticons and train you to fully utilize your abilities, even if you were fully capable. Throughout the weeks of him being by your side, he softens up around you a lot, learning to laugh and joke and even be vulnerable with you until it hits him- oh, dear, he’s smitten with you. Definitely the most protective out of all of the Autobots and doesn’t like you being out of his sight, loves spending time with you even though he won’t admit it, etc. 
  
  
• Jazz: He thinks you’re neat! As a bot who loves earth and earth culture, he’s fascinated by you, someone who’s both human and Cybertronian by the looks of it; you’re beautiful, intelligent, strong, and have an array of powers that you don’t bother hiding from anyone. However, that makes you a prime target for the Decepticons, who try to either eliminate you or recruit you whenever you have encounters, so Jazz is put in charge of keeping you safe and away from Autobot/Decepticon encounters while he’s on earth. You’re upset by it at first, upset that you can’t help your friends and need to be protected, but Jazz tries to ease the brunt of the emotional wound by keeping you company instead of acting only as a guard. The two of you share earth music, talk into the late hours of the night, and go exploring your favorite spots despite everyone telling you to stay at the base (it’s fine as long as he’s protecting you, right?). He falls for you pretty quick, admiring your strength and sense of adventure, and he has no problem singing his praises to you.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: College AU
• Prowl: Coffee/teashop AU
• Bumblebee: Best friends to lovers
• Ratchet: Comfort 
• Bulkhead: Mutual pining
• Sentinel Prime: Enemies to lovers
• Jazz: Oh no, there’s only one bed!
• Ultra Magnus: Arranged marriage 
• Blurr: FWB to lovers
• Arcee: Fantasy/magic AU
• Wreckgar: Body swap
• Megatron: Lovers to enemies to amicable divorcees/exes to lovers again
• Starscream: Soulmate AU
• Blitzwing: Love triangle 
• Lugnut: One-sided affection angst
• Blackarachnia: High School AU
• Shockwave: Historical 
• Soundwave: Band AU
• Swindle: Partners in crime 
• Lockdown: Rivalry/pretend to hate each other but are actually in love

Chapter Text

• Blitzwing enjoys having you, another Decepticon from Cybertron, with him while he and the rest of Megatron’s team are on earth. You’re good company, and unlike Lugnut, he can have discussions with you that aren’t necessarily about Megatron or about your conquests to overthrow the Autobots.
• You two stay up a lot when the others are recharging. With how active all three of his personalities are, he finds it hard to get rest most of the time, and you’re just... Always awake, either working on something or doing your own thing.
• It’s nice to have someone; a friend, even. Long nights laying outside Megatron’s cave-lair on earth, on the grass or sitting on tree branches and looking up at the stars and wondering how things are going back on Cybertron. You two have a lot of conversations about your hopes and dreams, things that happened that day, ideas for the future, stories you have to tell.
• Something he appreciates is that you bond with all three of his personalities pretty well and don’t treat him like he’s weird/dislike any of his different sides, nor do you try to overly cater to him to avoid conflict. You just act normal and consistent with Icy, Hothead, and Random. While he doesn’t talk about it often, the main reason he’s never explored deeper friendships/bonds with other cons is because he worries about them adapting to his quick personality changes. You handle it well, though, and he appreciates it.
• You and Icy have long, drawn out talks about whatever happens to catch your interest that day. You plan out battle strategies and train together sometimes, as well as babysit Lugnut.
• You and Random mostly like to run around base playing pranks on other Decepticons, and occasionally, you’ll go out and find Starscream to bully for fun when you’re exceptionally bored.
• You and Hothead are good for each other when either or both of you are in a bad mood, it’s good to rant to each other about whatever’s troubling you and get some frustration out.
• Unlike a lot of the other mechs in this series, Blitzwing is a logical being who can realize when he has feelings for someone and handle it with tact, so the first time you’re sneaking out of the base with him and pulling him along with one of your servos holding his, and Icy’s blue cheeks start burning a reddish purple with a blush, he knows. He knows it isn’t just a friendship, and that whatever friendly feelings he has for you have developed into something more.
• He takes a while to think about it instead of just coming right out of the box with it and realizes that, yeah, he loves you a lot. You’ve always been very kind to him, you’re intelligent, you’re funny, supportive, and you’re beautiful. Definitely a nice ray of light around an otherwise dark, dingy Decepticon environment.
• He thinks about it a bit more before ultimately deciding that he should tell you, because Icy knows it’s not healthy to bottle it up, Hothead is frustrated at being around you and not being able to express his affection, and Random is just bad at containing himself.
• So, he tries his best to make it somewhat romantic; manages to sneak you out of the base one night with a container of fine oil and a large blanket to lay out on the grass so you can drink and watch the night sky into the sunrise the following morning. During the middle of your discussion, there’s a peaceful silence in which Icy says, “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, (y/n).”
• You seem to think on it for a moment before nodding in return and confessing that you feel the same. Blitzwing’s face switches to Random, and he pulls you in for a kiss, which you quickly return- though the moment is quickly interrupted by Lugnut charging into the area with two Autobots chasing after him.
• Sigh. It was too early for this, but with you by his side, Blitzwing didn’t mind the usual antics from his team as much.

Chapter Text

• You, a young adult human, are close with the Autobots. You’re typically responsible for helping around base and assisting Ratchet with repairs/medical stuff for the Autobots and Sari.
• However, there’s a bit of tension that starts to arise when you notice that you’re a bit... Excluded. You’re not a big, strong, powerful Autobot, nor are you a special techno-organic being with powers who’s been “chosen” by the Allspark like Sari, so you’re left out a lot, whether it be on missions or just information about what’s going on. The Autobots are afraid a Decepticon could easily abduct and extract that kind of stuff from you, and naturally, you’re upset at being underestimated. They have some fair points, but you’re fully capable of holding your own, as you’re intelligent and strong-willed.
• Still, no matter how many times you try to communicate your feelings about it, nothing really happens and they treat you the same. It becomes agitating.
• That’s where Swindle comes in.

• It happens after a long day of fighting with Optimus Prime over him not telling you intel about Blackarachnia. You insist that he tells you because she put Sari in danger and you need to know what her strengths and weaknesses are in case you encounter her, but he insists that it’s not your business, he’s got it handled, you couldn’t understand, etc.
• You get pissed and storm off base, driving in your car to a nearby forest and parking it there. You’re hidden from view by the trees, none of the Autobot team knows where you are, and you’re sitting on the hood of your car looking at the stars when Swindle swoops in.
• It goes too fast for you to realize. One second, you’re sitting on your car, and the next, you’re sitting double-seat-belted/strapped to the inside of Swindle’s vehicle mode and speeding off. 
• You can only sigh and shake your head. Of course, the one time you go and run off on your own, you get captured by a Decepticon and prove the Autobots right. 
• “What? Nothing to say? Usually at this point, I’d get some yelling and screaming from a pretty thing like you.”
• You roll your eyes and tell him that no, you’re used to this kind of shit by now and don’t really care, but that you’re curious what he’s grabbing you for.
• As he drives away with you on the streets of Detroit, he tells you that Megatron wants you for some intel on the Autobots and to help him work on some spacebridge, but then he ends with, “Unlike the other humans around here, you’re quite enjoyable to be around... I might spare you if you promise to behave.”
• Though a Decepticon, Swindle is charming enough and not bad to talk to- at the very least, he seems to respect you and your skills, unlike the Autobots. You’re mature enough to realize that just because he’s a Decepticon, he’s not inherently terrible, so you agree to what he said without much thought- after all, if things got bad, you were more than capable of forming some sort of escape plan.
• But things didn’t get bad. Swindle just drops you off within walking distance of your car, and you get back in and drive to the Autobot base... Under one condition.
• You allow him to “kidnap” you every once in a while; enough for him to see you, enough for Megatron to think he’s trying to catch him for you, and enough for the Autobots to think that you’re surprisingly capable of escaping the Decepticons’ grasp and fending for yourself.
• It becomes a regular occurrence, and one day, when you’re out in the forest with Swindle (who you’re basically dating at this point), he takes you to meet Lockdown for some sort of weapon trade deal between the two.
• Only... Lockdown’s attention is immediately on you. 
• “And who’s this creature? Is this the pretty little thing Megatron’s had his optics on?”
• You shrink back at that. Swindle is loyal to you, of course, having honored your original agreement the entire time and never handing you over to Megatron or telling the Autobots about your secret relationship, so you’re not too intimidated but... You also know that Swindle and Lockdown have had an on and off fling for a very long time, according to Swindle, and you can’t help but think that the larger mech is rather attractive.
• “Yeah, but you wouldn’t tell on me, would ya, old pal?”
• “Old pal... Tch. You’re amusing as always. Do they not know?” Lockdown asks, seemingly enthused by the whole situation as he gestures to Swindle’s arm around your waist.
• “Oh, no, they know, and based on how they’re looking at you right now... I don’t think they’d mind having you in on our little agreement.”
• So, you, Swindle, and Lockdown all get to know each other through your weird, impromptu agreement/relationship. The two mechs keep their old fling, you continue your thing with Swindle, and you gradually get to know and come to love both of them.
• Swindle and Lockdown are usually pretty stubborn with their money, but they also believe in investing a lot in what they consider important/high quality, and you definitely fall into that; you’re constantly being won over with the finest clothes, weapons, foods, jewelry, and materials that money can buy.
• Now, both parties can be involved in “kidnapping” you from the Autobots!

Chapter Text

• Sentinel doesn’t fall in love. It’s just one of those unspoken rules he has for himself; it puts him in a position of vulnerability, and he doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable or kind to really anyone, so he just... Avoids any romantic pursuits at all costs.
• That being said, he avoids being vulnerable in general if he can. Doesn’t like admitting that he’s wrong, that he needs help, doesn’t want to be rescued by someone else when he’s in trouble if he can help it because of his pride.
• That’s why, when he’s fighting Headmaster by himself on a dark night in Detroit, he won’t call Optimus until he’s at a point where he’s desperate. Only... You manage to beat him to it. 
• He’s seen a lot of crazy shit since he’s been on earth; super-powered humans, giant Decepticons, tiny organics, miniscule spiders, a competent Optimus Prime, but a young human going from a regular work uniform to... Some sort of armored outfit with a sparkly weapon in hand and taking the Headmaster down effortlessly?
• He couldn’t believe it. He was pissed. You swooped down from a rooftop out of nowhere and fought a battle that was his! Who the hell did you think you were?
• When you turn around with an unconscious, unarmed Headmaster cuffed and in your grasp, he immediately starts chewing you out.
• “Hey, that was my catch!”
• Surprisingly enough, you apologize and say that you were afraid he was in trouble, and then transform back into your regular form and regular clothing. To be honest, you’re attractive without the sparkly, (f/c) get up, your weapon gone, (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes.
• Things just keep happening like that while he’s on earth; he’s in a fight, and you swoop down from some rooftop, then do your magical girl transformation and absolutely clobber his opponent for him.
• Shit makes him mad, but to be honest... He likes people who are strong and able to fend for yourselves, finds it kind of hot, even, but that’s the most he allows himself to believe it is. Nothing more than just... You’re attractive, for an organic.
• But then you start trying to talk with him. It starts with you asking where he’s from, how his day has been- general smalltalk stuff, but then it gets worse and he finds that he’s sneaking off of his ship or away from Optimus and his dumbass team to roam the streets of Detroit in hopes that he’ll run into you. 
• Naturally, Jazz and Optimus immediately pick up on the fact that Sentinel’s sudden disappearances are sketchy and one night, Jazz follows him and observes... And then notices just how smitten Sentinel is, and finds himself unable to help teasing Sentinel about it later on.
• The Prime rejects any notion of him being smitten and in love, as Jazz would say, claiming that it’s ridiculous and that you’re some stupid human who likes stealing everyone else’s hardwork/fights away from them.
• Yeah. No. He knows he’s wrong, knows he is, in fact, crushing on you pretty hard... But he won’t say anything. Instead, he’s content purposefully bringing physical conflicts around the area you usually work in hopes that he’ll get to interact with you for as long as he can get away with, completely unaware that you’re looking for excuses to come see him as well.

Chapter Text

• The first time you meet Starscream is when you’re on earth. You’re a part of Optimus’s repair team along with him, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Ratchet, and Prowl; like Ratchet, you’re a medic, mainly tagging along to do both space bridge repairs and fix up any of the other bots’ injuries. During that first fight over the All Spark on earth, you don’t really get to interact with Starscream in full, but you do meet him briefly and are too panicked over your first actual battle (since you’re just, you know, a repair bot/medic and not a full blown soldier; most you had was some cadet training like Bulkhead and Bumblebee) to think much of him.
• But then, you interact with him the next few times, and uh... It’s bad. You notice immediately that he’s physically attractive; tall, sleek build pretty paint-job, a scratchy but charming voice and way of talking, strong servos but long pretty digits and slender legs, glowing vermillion optics that feel like they’re peering into your soul... Yeah, it’s over for you. You’ve never really had the time for relationships with work and everything, so you don’t have any experience and are horrid at hiding the little crush that you quickly develop.
• It’s horrible. Any time Starscream is present during battles, you get flustered and fumble over yourself. You can’t fight him and can’t fight anyone else when he’s within eye/ear-shot, so you’re usually in charge of helping evacuate humans or dealing with Blitzwing/Lugnut etc. 
• Starscream, of course, notices it. He’s an older and well-seasoned bot, and though it’s very rare that anyone is actually interested in him, he’s seen enough relationships in his day to be able to pick up on a crush. His natural reaction, out loud, is “HAHA, of course you have a crush on the GLORIOUS, GORGEOUS Starscream! Why, it only makes sense that I’ve charmed such a pretty little Autobot without even trying, who could resist my charm?”. On the inside... He’s seriously flattered. You’re beautiful, you’re cute, from the glimpses he’s gotten, he likes your personality, and he thinks you’re just... Very good. However, he doesn’t really pursue a relationship with you at first as you seem rather righteous and he is rather devious. He won’t admit it, but he likes you too much to cause you any trouble with the other Autobots. He’s just happy that you like him so much.
• It turns into a lot of teasing during battles and gets to a point where Starscream will purposefully pick fights with the Autobots just to see/spar with you, with no actual damage happening.
• “Oh, my, if it isn’t my not-so-secret admirer again! Why don’t you try to take me down without the help of your friends this time?”
• He likes touching you as much as he can in a rather fleeting manner; servos over your lower back, on your hands, face in your face, optics locked with yours, etc. He’s just very touch-starved and enthusiastic about the fact that someone is interested in him, but he won’t admit it. 
• The other Autobots find it pretty humorous or are annoyed by it. Ratchet and Prowl roll their eyes at it and don’t get what you see in him, Bulkhead just feels bad for you, Optimus is very confused but always reminds you of the fact that he’s there for you if you ever want to vent about your “unfortunate circumstances”, and Bumblebee isn’t above trying to set you up with Starscream/making you two interact with each other whenever the opportunity arises because he thinks it’s cute/funny.
• Eventually, things get a little less light-hearted when Megatron gets his body back and hires Lockdown to kidnap you. The main reason is that even though Megatron and his Decepticons usually do a great job of beating the hell out of the Autobots, you’re always there to fix them up, and that’s very inconvenient to him personally. So, Lockdown kidnaps you and takes you to Megatron, only for Starscream to... Come rescue you from the cell you’re locked in during the night?
• You’re just sitting there, waiting for an Autobot when Starscream bursts into the room; “Why, if it isn’t my admirer, waiting for me to come rescue them.”
• “Um... Starscream? What are you doing here?”
• “What do you think, you glitch? Rescuing you, now quiet down before Megatron catches us!”
• You’re super confused, unsure if Starscream has had a processor injury or if he has some other more devious plan with you, but he breaks you out of your cage and allows you to climb on his back so he can give you a piggy back ride until you’re out of the cave and in an open enough area for him to transform into his seeker mode, only to get caught by Megatron and Megatron alone while the others are recharging.
• The two break out into an argument, fighting while you’re still on Starscream’s back; you’re trying to assist your crush by blasting Megatron from your position despite being decently injured from your battle with Lockdown, which is honestly the only reason Starscream is managing against the much more powerful Decepticon. You two work... Surprisingly well together, and in the midst of the argument, Megatron is spewing insults, calling Starscream incompetent, foolish, stupid, a failure, etc. 
• Naturally, despite your shy nature, you hate hearing Starscream insulted as you’ve developed a weird sort of attachment to him, so you fire back; “Hey, he isn’t any of that! I know you don’t realize it because you’re an evil bastard, b-but he’s trying his best, and he has better ideas than you do- wasn’t he the one who blew you up?”
• Megatron gets so angry that Starscream manages to escape with you, and he transforms into his vehicle mode with you riding in his cockpit... Ha.
• Anyways, the two of you fly back to your base around the time that the sun is rising, but by the time you get there and Starscream transforms back into his robot form, you notice that Megatron beat him pretty bad and- oh, Primus, he’s unconscious. Yeah... 
• Against your better judgement, you fix him up the best you can outside behind your teammates backs, knowing that if you brought him back to Ratchet, he’d be getting repaired while in stasis cuffs and then sent back with the Elite Guard to be imprisoned on Cybertron.
• You sneak off into the forest and wait for him to wake up... Only for him to pull you into a heated kiss the second he does, thank you for being his “knight in shining armor”, and then transforming and flying away.
• You return to base a shaking, blushing mess, and when asked about what happened, you tell your teammates (of which only a few are there, since the others are out looking for you); after Lockdown took you, Starscream came to rescue you, dropped you off by the base, and flew away, leaving out the part where you could have captured him. Ratchet fixes you up and gets onto you for “being smitten with such a troublesome mech”. 
• And from there forms a beautiful relationship of you and Starscream pretending to be against each other in public the best you can despite your blatant crushes, with Starscream always teasing you and you being too shy to rebut, but secretly helping each other and sneaking off to meet up whenever you can. 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Gryffindor 
• Prowl: Ravenclaw
• Ratchet: Ravenclaw
• Bumblebee: Hufflepuff
• Bulkhead: Hufflepuff
• Sentinel Prime: Slytherin
• Jazz: Gryffindor
• Ultra Magnus: Ravenclaw
• Blurr: Gryffindor
• Arcee: Hufflepuff 
• Megatron: Gryffindor 
• Starscream: Slytherin
• Lugnut: Hufflepuff
• Blitzwing: Ravenclaw
• Shockwave: Slytherin
• Blackarachnia: Slytherin
• Soundwave: Ravenclaw
• Wasp: Hufflepuff

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Butterfly; symbolizes personal transformation and rebirth.
• Prowl: Turtle; symbolizes determination/persistence and the ability to stay grounded.
• Ratchet: Bear; symbolizes strength, confidence, and the ability to stand against adversity; as well as the importance of prioritizing solitude, quiet time, and rest.
• Bumblebee: Bee; symbolizes efficient communication and interaction, endurance and tenacity.
• Bulkhead: Lady bug; symbolizes innocence and the need to know yourself to make the right life choices.
• Ultra Magnus: Whale; symbolizes the holding of wisdom/history, peaceful strength, and the importance of family and community. 
• Sentinel Prime:  Cardinal; symbolizes strong self-confidence and assertiveness, power over self and others.
• Jazz: Blue Jay; symbolizes a loyal spirit with a jokester personality, intuition, and a great strength of character.
• Blurr: Hummingbird; symbolizes independence, being more present, and lightness of being/lifting up negativity.
• Arcee: Hedgehog; symbolizes protection, strength and fortitude, obstacles and challenges, and gentleness.
• Megatron: Scorpion; symbolizes a powerful transformation, willpower/determination, solitude, pent up aggression, and ambition.
• Starscream: Panther; symbolizes death and rebirth, aggressiveness and power, and the ability to know the dark.
• Lugnut: Turkey; symbolizes forms of generosity in our lives, abundance, and satisfaction.
• Blitzwing: Owl; symbolizes change, intuition, wisdom, and the ability to see through others’ masks.
• Shockwave: Wolf; symbolizes a deep connection with one’s instincts, sharp intelligence, and the feeling of a lack of trust in others or yourself.
• Soundwave: Panda; symbolizes integration of polarized aspects of yourself, a nurturing ability, and calm determination.
• Blackarachnia: Spider; symbolizes receptivity, shadow self dark aspects of life or personality.
• Wasp: Frog; symbolizes cleansing, rebirth, and a transformation/metamorphisis.
• Swindle: Coyote; symbolizes a jokester with adaptability and a paradoxical personality that’s hard to characterize.
• Lockdown: Cat; symbolizes patience, independence, and curiosity.

Chapter Text

• Alright, so this is a fun, short one I’m writing while I’m at work between shifts. I personally headcanon that even though Icy thinks a lot of humans are gross and Hothead is pissed off by them, both are fascinated by human languages. On most planets they go to, there’s only one or two that the species speaks, so the fact that humans have so many is enthralling to him since one of his hobbies is learning new languages.
• Blitzwing has a phenomenal memory/ability to pick things up quick and learns German (though behind Megatron’s back lmao) along with some other human languages, but he’s most excited about German since he thinks it “fits” him the best/fits the way he speaks.
• So, when you’re brought onto base as a hostage, and are so angry that you cuss Megatron out in German, Random can’t help but take over and fall onto the floor laughing at the vulgar language the tiny human is using whilst Megatron is standing there, completely unaware of what you’re actually saying and mumbling something about your “human garbage babbling”.
• You get comfortable after a while and escape that yeah, you’re a hostage for the Decepticons to use to fuck with the Autobots (who you aren’t even involved with, mind you. you’re just a random person unfortunate enough to have been walking home from work late at night and alone which let Megatron pick you up off the streets despite your flailing and screaming for the sake of his scheme), and your life will be easier the more you cooperate since there’s no point in trying to escape with so many Decepticons around to stop you. Blitzwing is charged with guarding you anyways. Just in case.
• You hate Megatron, though, since he’s the one behind all of this. Every time you’re near the mech you throw obscure insults like arschgeige (ass violin), einzeller (single cell organism, aka single brain cell), or kotzbroken (son of a bitch/bastard), and many more. Your relationship with Blitzwing is cordial and awkward since you’re used to talking to Icy who’s just like that, or Hothead who you frequently piss off by getting into heated screaming matches with him, but Random pops up increasingly more with each occasion that you cuss out his leader.
• And with that, all three of you get along. You like Random’s sense of humor and support of you, and you admire Icy’s intelligence, as well as Hothead’s passion. After a while with the two (or four) of you getting to know each other, things start going pretty well and you get the gist of why the Decepticons are doing what they’re doing. You still hate Megatron, of course- con’s a conceited little prick, but you set that aside enough to enjoy what time you have with Blitzwing.
• You and Icy regularly exchange German literature and have good conversations about whatever happens to be relevant that day, while you show Hothead trash television in different languages and tell him all about it, which he and Random both enjoy. Meanwhile, you and Random like to pass time by playing pranks on the other Decepticons and speaking different human languages around them that they don’t know to mess with their processors.
• Eventually, as luck would have it, the Autobots come rescue you and return you to your normal life, but afterwards... You can’t stop thinking about Blitzwing. So, you sneak off in the middle of the night and return to the Decepticon base to find him and tell him that you still want to meet up, but that if he kidnaps you and takes you back to Megatron, you’ll cuss him out in German, too.
• It’s a joke and he knows it, but Icy can’t help but take you somewhat seriously as the two of you whisper to each other hidden away from Megatron in his berthroom, so he tells you that Megatron could always find another human, but couldn’t find another you, and that all he wants you to himself instead of making you some hostage.
• The two of you start that starcrossed lovers thing before you even become actual lovers; talking over coms/phones in German, writing each other letters in the same language, sneaking out at night to meet each other in the forest between your house and the Decepticon base.
• Blitzwing is disgusted in himself for falling in love with a human, but he couldn’t deject it, either. You were hot, fiery, and passionate, and the two of you had a lot in common, so... Maybe it was meant to be, or at least something he could explore, right?

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Valentine’s Day; Likes the concept of a day of love where he can show his appreciation for others through gifts.
• Prowl: Earth Day; Very into animals and the environment, kind of an activist if I do say so myself. Will go out and pick up trash somewhere or meditate outside with some birds and talk about Earth Day to his teammates, who don’t really get it but listen bc they love Prowl.
• Ratchet: Saint Patrick’s Day; A day celebrating some guy who killed snakes where he has an excuse to drink as much oil as he wants and pinch his annoying teammates if they aren’t wearing green? He picks up a green bracelet, so the only one who’s immune is Sari. He enjoys himself in a more childish manner than he’d like to admit.
• Bulkhead: Pi Day; he’s a nerd... Enough said.
• Bumblebee: Halloween; Enjoys dressing up and going trick or treating with Sari, as well as trying to scare/prank the others and decorating the base for the occasion.
• Ultra Magnus: Father’s Day; A lot of the Autobots who have been on earth see him as a mentor/father figure and upon hearing about the holiday, tell Ultra Magnus about it and celebrate it with him. Very sweet.
• Blurr: Christmas Eve; Actually loves Christmas, but has a thing with anticipation where he gets super excited about things and then gets sad when they get there because they’re going to be over soon. So he likes Christmas eve better than Christmas because everyone is celebrating Christmas, but it isn’t Christmas day yet, so it doesn’t feel like it’s going to end too soon.
• Sentinel Prime: His own birthday; Cybertronians have their own equivalent of birthdays that are celebrated much less often, but upon hearing that humans celebrate theirs every YEAR, he insists that he should do so too and wants gifts, a party, and attention on him the entire day. AKA he’s like that person who actually, obnoxiously celebrates an entire birthday month.
• Jazz: Mardi Gras; Loves everything about it from the music, to the food, to the partying, to the beads, to the costumes, etc. Despite being in Detroit when he’s on earth, he and Prowl sneak off to Louisiana every year they can to go, even if it’s not exactly Prowl’s scene.
• Arcee: 4th Of July; likes the fireworks and the food (or, for Transformers, energon treats that Ratchet makes).
• Megatron: Inauguration Day; learned it was a thing for presidents on earth and decided to make it a thing for himself as well, basically just an excuse for him to make everyone celebrate him and act better than they normally do.
• Starscream: Easter; Imagine a regular Easter but with energon treats instead of candy, and Megatron convinces one of the Decepticons to buy them all for the egg hunt, only to steal them all and get them for free. He somehow manages it multiple years. 
• Lugnut: Other people’s birthdays (namely, Megatron’s); He’s a big gift-giver and loves celebrating Megatron. 
• Blitzwing: New Years; Enjoys the fireworks and how light-hearted and hopeful everyone seems to be at the beginning of a New Year. The parties are cool, too. 
• Soundwave: Christmas Day; Uh... Y’all remember the episode. Enough said.
• Shockwave: Organize Your Home Day; yes, this is a thing, it’s January 14th and one of those weird obscure holidays. I imagine he likes it because it’s the only time he can get the other Decepticons to clean up after themselves. 
• Swindle: Black Friday; The only holiday he acknowledges, he likes being able to get things for good prices and makes it a whole thing with the Decepticons as soon as he catches wind of it.
• Lockdown: 4th Of July; Not into it in the pure way that Arcee is, it’s just easier to do his job on earth when everyone is intoxicated, distracted by parties and loud, bright fireworks. He’s not really into holidays.

Chapter Text

• As you would imagine, Megatron is PISSED when a tiny little baby sparkling comes to the Decepticon base on earth and starts immediately messing everything up; biting other Decepticons, hissing at them, screaming, and unable to be communicated with.
• The sparkling is short for his age (or, the age Shockwave guesses the sparkling is based on the evaluation he does, that of which had to be done with said sparking strapped down to a table to prevent him from harming anyone.
• Sparkling is a sleek jet AKA seeker, painted exclusively matte grey and bright yellow. Megatron does some digging into where the sparkling came from and finds out that the sparkling is an accident that came from Starscream accidentally merging his DNA with a stolen protoform. Then again, Starscream is out doing his own things and betraying Megatron constantly and is seemingly unaware of his sparkling, so sparkling is left with the Decepticons.
• Megatron isn’t the compassionate type to take in orphans but acknowledges that sparkling can be used against Starscream and the Autobots in the future, and he doesn’t want the Autobots taking in a perfectly good future minion. 
• Does that mean Megatron wants to take care of the little fucker though? Of course not. 
• So, Blitzwing and Lugnut get left with the job of watching the sparkling and are allowed to name it. After some debates and a lot of ‘no’s to names like Megatron Jr., Mighty Mega, and Megascream from Lugnut, they eventually settle on Sunscream; clearly named after Starscream since it’s his sparkling, and pays homage to the the bright yellow on Sunscream’s frame.
• So, they’re taking care of Sunscream. Lugnut doesn’t have much luck. He’s so big that he’s impervious to the sparkling’s attacks, but his attempts of telling Sunscream stories about the great lord Megatron and getting him to be obedient/train don’t really work.
• Blitzwing has better luck, surprisingly. It’s not so much that he’s good with sparklings in general as he’s never had experience with them, but more that he’s good with THIS specific sparkling. Icy has some problems taming Sunscream, but Hothead and Sunscream actually have a lot in common in terms of pent-up anger. Icy takes this and helps Sunscream learn some healthier methods of getting stuff out that doesn’t involve attacking other Decepticons (attacking Autobots is okay though! Do that!)
• Random and Sunscream, to everyone’s dismay, have the most fun. They go on crazy training sessions, prank sprees around the base, and when the sparkling learns how to transform properly, they go on long flights and terrorize the city of Detroit.
• As the sparkling gets older, they learn to communicate better, mostly due to Icy. They grow up to be a mostly cold, intelligent personality, but with a strong craving for mischief and chaos, much like Starscream, who’s in and out given their circumstances.
• Blitzwing becomes the main parental figure and is surprisingly comfortable with it. Icy is good for giving advice, Hothead is great to vent to, and Random is amazing to have fun with. It just works very well, and none of the Decepticon’s ever would’ve guessed that Blitzwing would be so good with sparklings.
• If any of the Decepticons ever have sparklings of their own, Blitzwing is now the first con they go to for babysitting purposes.

Chapter Text

• I feel like Megatron would try to ignore it at first, just like he would with feelings for another Cybertronian, but much, much worse.
• Organic aside, relationships aren’t really something he believes are meant for him. He’s a Decepticon leader, he can’t show weakness, and if he dares to get close to someone, there’s a good chance that they could be used against him. So generally speaking, he keeps his distance.
• But then you come along.
• You have a bad interaction with the Autobots; one of them accidentally wrecks your house in a battle and offers you no compensation or even another place to say, only apologizing before running off, so you do some research on Cybertronians, find out about the Decepticons, and somehow do enough digging to find their base.
• Megatron is shocked when you show up one day and pledge your allegiance to him and to the Decepticon cause, but when you explain your reasoning, he can tell that you’re genuine; Autobots are martyr-complex-having, inconsiderate fools who do what they can to look good and act like they’re doing ‘right’, their council is a bunch of stuck up pricks who don’t allow anyone to be an individual or have freedom, and they all act like they’re a working part of a system instead of their own mech/femme with an actual personality. Megatron is kinda like... yeah, okay, whatever. He almost tries to blow you off, but Shockwave and Soundwave argue that you could reveal some weaknesses that the humans have and that you’re an unthreatening enough figure that you could be used as a productive spy. So, he keeps you around and gives you a place to stay on base.
• At first, he acts indifferent towards you; you’re a gross, human fleshbag that he wants nothing to do with outside of work, but he sees that you and Soundwave get along since you share a lot of the same ideals about humans needing to do their own work instead of relying on robots to do it for them, and you and Shockwave are actually quite friendly. Hell, you and Lugnut and Blitzwing even make a great trio. So, indirectly, without even realizing it at first, Megatron becomes fond of you through observing your conversations with the others. You’re respectable, brave, bold, honest, and you’re fully self-aware. He finds that, unlike the other humans, he doesn’t mind you; you don’t see him or his cause as evil and actually treat him with respect, and you don’t run or cower or act shy around him either- that shit gets on his nerves.
• He knows it’s a bad idea, but he starts talking to you personally. In his berth room, you two exchange intel you’ve collected, and afterwards, you always hang around for an hour or so for in-depth discussions, about your lives and dreams and hopes and philosophies. He frequently finds himself sharing ancient data tablets containing Decepticon works of literature on them with you, and eventually, the two of you have/develop a lot in common.
• Not all humans are gross like he thought they were initially, he realizes... In fact, though he’d never say so out loud, you smell nice and the few fleeting touches he’s had with you are always pleasant because of how warm and soft you are.
• The first time he thinks about the rapid pace of the relationship the two of you have cultivated and about his feelings for you is after you’re injured. Your cover as a spy gets blown and surprisingly enough, you mention to escape Optimus Prime and the other four members of his team, but you come back sustaining some rough cuts/gashes from when Prowl chucked his shuriken at your clothes to try to pin you to the wall with them; they’re all along your arms, legs, and a few even managed to graze your sides.
• You return to the base bloodied and beaten from their attempts to detain you, and though Soundwave and Shockwave (who are easily your best friends at that point) insist that they’re fully capable of handling your medical care, Megatron realizes that he wants to do it himself- doesn’t know why he wants to do it, just knows that he does and that no one is going to stop him. So, he takes you to the med bay and uses the small amount of human medical equipment they obtained for you to disinfect your wounds as you walk him through the process verbally, stitches the ones that need stitching, and wraps/bandages them. It involves you being half-clothed, and though he certainly isn’t going to ogle you like a pervert, he can’t help how his intake hitches at being so close to you when you’re so exposed and vulnerable. It just feels very intimate, and it’s something he’s not used to; no one has dared touch him in thousands of years outside of battle, nor has he touched another outside of such context.
• You have to stay in the med bay overnight so that your vitals can be monitored and you can have your dressings changed and antibiotics given to you to prevent your wounds from getting infected. Megatron is also sure to give you painkillers if you need them and keep you well-fed/hydrated so you can heal properly.
• He stays by your side while you sleep even though he doesn’t need to, watching you. He can’t help but think about how fascinating it is that your body is so fragile, so prone to bloody injuries when even slightly harmed, but you’re so strong and determined and courageous; completely dedicating yourself to his work, his cause, him when you didn’t have to. Part of that was out of your spite and dislike for the Autobots, but he admired that, too. You uprooted your entire life to come help him and the Decepticons, and even though he didn’t dare say something so kind out loud, he couldn’t help but appreciate you. Him taking care of you was just paying it forward.
• You sleep peacefully, chest rising and falling with every breath you take and (s/c) cheeks dusted red. Occasionally, you’ll toss and turn, but at one point, you reach out for his servo in your sleep, so he takes your hand and holds it tight. If anyone ever saw him so tender and weak, he’d be done for, but you were asleep, so he figured it was fine- no one needed to know how much he loved you, not even you.
• Oh.
• Oh no. He loved you. As fate would have it, it all crashed down on him at once as he sat there, holding your hand. He had gone from assuming you were some disgusting human bag of flesh he wanted nothing to do with, to begrudgingly accepting you to help his cause, to respecting you, to befriending you, to... Falling in love with you. What terrible luck... Maybe it was his punishment for terrorizing organics for so many years, that he just so happened to fall in love with one.
• The second he realizes it, he can’t deny it. You recover from your injuries well with Megatron by your side assisting you, but the more time he spends around you, the worse his feelings get, and he’s old enough that he’s not the kind of fool who pushes his feelings away. Instead, he wallows in them, bathes in them, drowns in them, and he drowns in you. It’s really horrible that he, a being so large and powerful and responsible for mass destruction, is so enamored with you, a being so small and delicate and honest. You’re an unfortunate soul, and if you love him back, it’s even worse.
• It comes out naturally one of the nights that you’re locked up in his room together discussing some Decepticon poetry you read recently. It was one of his favorite works, and you seemed like you’d enjoyed it, too. Silence falls between you for a moment before he says, “I love you, (y/n). I never thought I’d stoop as low as to fall for an organic, but you’re the only one worth falling for, and Primus, have I fallen.”. The atmosphere doesn’t go tense or awkward, and you only smile up at him, putting the data tablet with the poem on it down on his night table before turning to him.
• “And I thought I’d never fall for the leader of an alien robot rebellion, but here I am, and you’re worth falling for, too.”
• It’s peaceful, nothing heated or tense but tender and relaxing as he pulls you into his arms and holds you close to him... Maybe being in love with an organic wasn’t so bad, after all.

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• Optimus Prime: Pretends that he hates it, but is actually super into it. He wouldn’t want to be tiny forever, but it’s convenient and he enjoys it while it lasts since it’s only temporary; he needs less energon, he can get a break from his usual stressful position, and it’s actually nice to be held instead of doing all the holding. Neutral on you carrying him aroundr- as previously stated, it’s convenient, and if you’re having fun with it, he doesn’t mind.
• Ratchet: A little annoyed, but nothing he can’t get over; he’s mostly just worried that, with being shrunk, he won’t be able to do his job properly if someone on his team gets injured. When you try to carry him around, he grumbles that he can walk just fine (even if it’ll take him forever to get from one place to another given his condition AKA little baby legs), but lets you do as you please. Won’t put up with being teased about it, though.
• Bumblebee: Enjoys it and is very open about the fact that he enjoys it. It gives him the opportunity to skip out on patrol to watch television, and he can hang out on your shoulder and bug you whenever he wants. Loves being carried around and takes advantage of his small size to sleep on your chest/shoulder.
• Prowl: Very neutral on the whole thing. It’s cool to be as small as some of the animals he’s into- like birds, small cats/dogs, rodents, etc. He enjoys getting to interact with them at his smaller size. Hates being carried around like some sort of pet, though, and insists on going everywhere himself, but allows you to follow. 
• Bulkhead: Finds it inconvenient because he’s not NEARLY as strong as usual and it takes a bit for him to get used to the new size. It’s daunting and scary and he finds himself asking if this is how you usually feel compared to him, because it’s crazy. He insists that you carry him everywhere in fear of being crushed by someone by accident if he just tries to walk around, and is incredibly appreciative of all that you do for him while he’s stuck being tiny. 
• Ultra Magnus: Annoyed by the whole thing, but grateful that he mostly works inside and doesn’t do much on the battlefield anymore. Only wants to be carried by you, Jazz, or Blurr (because he knows Sentinel is a fucking idiot). Does take the opportunity to admire just how much you go through, being so much smaller than them, and looks at you with a new admiration for it, even when he’s turned back to his regular size. 
• Blurr: The only Autobot to treat everything like it’s fine and resume business as usual. Uses his smaller size to his advantage to collect intel and moves just as fast, so he doesn’t need to be carried around like the others to get places, but will perch on your shoulder if he needs to be close to eye level with you or someone else for a discussion.
• Sentinel Prime: Says that he doesn’t need to be carried and is perfectly fine to do his normal thing, but unlike Blurr, he will get ungodly pissed off if you try to put him down or make him work. Will cling to your shoulder. Honestly kind of a bitch the whole time, but relishes in the attention he gets from the whole predicament.
• Jazz: Totally digs it. He gets to avoid Sentinel at work and can just chill and listen to music with you? Perfect. He likes to sit on your shoulder while you have headphones on with loud music and listen to your stuff + braid/play with your hair.
• Megatron: It pisses him off so bad. He’s actually furious. He won’t let you carry him around; he’s too prideful, instead locking himself in his berth room and refusing to do anything until the effects fade away and he returns to his normal size. 
• Starscream: Is pissed off because of how small and weak he is, but secretly enjoys the attention from you a lot like Sentinel does. Constantly cuddles into your neck/hair when no one is looking for warmth and sits/sleeps on top of your head.
• Lugnut: Lugnut is very frustrated with the whole thing. Megatron has demanded that he not work until he returns to his normal size, so he hasn’t gotten the chance to speak to Megatron since he was shrunk since he isn’t working. His normal brute strength is no longer present, and the other Decepticons make fun of him a lot for it, which is even more frustrating. He finds that the only comfort he gets is you offering to help him out and let him ride on your back/sit on your shoulder if he wants, telling you about stories of Lord Megatron.
• Blitzwing: It’s inconvenient for him and his line of work, but Random enjoys being carried around and using his small form to play pranks on the other Decepticons/bother them, so it works out well enough. Icy finds that he quite likes napping on your shoulder or in your hand, and Hothead all around hates the whole thing but secretly appreciates the affection you can give his smaller form that you wouldn’t be able to in his larger one.
• Shockwave: It’s annoying, as he’s an incredibly large Decepticon used to feeling large and powerful and using his strength/ability to extend to do things. With how impractical it is to not be carried to do things, he makes you do it, but doesn’t especially enjoy it. 
• Soundwave: It works for him, actually. He gets to spend time on a closer level with his musical animal bot companions who are usually miniscule compared to him, and he likes being next to you more than usual; especially enjoys being carried in your hands since they’re so warm compared to his cool metal.
• Lockdown: HATES IT. It makes his job super inconvenient and finds you ogling his tiny size to be super annoying. Knows that logically, he needs to be carried around if he wants to get anywhere, but if you make any teasing comments, he’s kicking you in the neck (though it doesn’t really hurt lmao) and jumping off so he can try to walk there himself.
• Swindle: Uses the whole shrinkage thing to get into smaller places and steal things, uses you to help him and wants to be carried around so you can help him work/make money. He jokes about how cute and smooth his smaller form is, and actually quite likes it, so he’s somewhat sad when he gets turned back. 

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• Megatron, as I’ve previously discussed, isn’t into the whole falling in love thing. It makes him seem weak, someone could take advantage of him or used his loved one against him, and one of them could always die or something. Just not his cup of tea; he’s cautious.
• As seen in my Megatron Falling For A Human post, he’s not into it, but he can at least come to terms for falling for a human if they’re respectable and get along with him- the same thing would apply if he were to fall in love with a Decepticon as well, but an Autobot? And a tiny, weak one at that? Oh, fuck no. 
• I imagine the two of you meet on Optimus’s space repair ship when he tries to attack it to steal the All Spark, and he doesn’t think much of you aside from annoying because your small size makes it easy for you to dash and dart around him without getting caught, and you’re good at fucking with him- though, the second he gets ahold of you, you’re done for like the rest of your team and incredibly lucky that Starscream decided to blow him up on that particular day. 
• He’s out of commission for the next fifty years, but when he gets his body back on earth, the two of you keep running into each other- whether that be during battles with each other’s team or just... Out and about. Sometimes he’ll go on walks outside of his base and run into you. He has no reason to chase you and you’re too scared to try to capture him so you’ll either call Optimus there or get intimidated by him into running off. He enjoys that part, so gradually over time, he starts taunting you during battle and purposefully scaring you but never actually hurting you (because he can’t bring himself to see you harmed and beats the shit out of Starscream every time the seeker so much as lays a digit on your porcelain armor).
• The Decepticons, of course, start commenting on it. “My liege, what is your obsession with that minibot?”, that kind of stuff. He brushes it off and says you’re fun to terrorize and tiny and pathetic and all of that stuff, but then he realizes that your (f/c) paint job seems to have become his favorite color and he can’t get your light blue optics out of his head, nor can he stop fantasizing about what a conversation would be like with you.
• Yeah, uh. That’s bad. He realizes he’s infatuated with you and flips his shit, and I mean FLIPS his shit. Won’t do any work for a few days straight, punches out walls in his room, snaps/yells at/attacks anyone who tries to bother him, won’t sleep or fuel, etc. It’s really bad. Everyone is legitimately concerned, thinking that something has gone terribly wrong with the Decepticon cause or he’s having some sort of health issue, but no, he’s just obsessed with an Autobot minibot who he’s sure he can’t have.
• It makes battling your team somewhat difficult for him, but he doesn’t start avoiding you or anything, just maintains the weird rivalry/teasing dynamic he’s started with you to prevent anyone from noticing anything being off with him. But, he’s paying attention to you more. You’re kind, sweet, tough, noble, and oh no, when he sees you repairing or assisting your stupid Autobot leader, he wishes it were him who you were catering to.
• He doesn’t dare say anything, though, just keeps it to himself and suffers in silence- at least for a while. If he does say anything, it’s very reserved compared to his actual feelings and always makes his spark ache, but he doesn’t want to seem overly invested in you.
• He’s just scared, both of rejection and of losing his power in any situation. If you love him back and give him some reassurance, though, he’ll open up to you.

• I’d imagine him being pretty dominant and enjoying your small size in the berth since it gives him the ability to just throw you around and do whatever he pleases- not that he couldn’t do that to a regular Autobot, but the fact that you’re so much smaller just does something to him and accentuates his strength and power.
• He likes making you get so loud that everyone on the Decepticon base can hear you- not that they know it’s you, they probably think it’s just some femme, but they don’t need to be told the specifics to know that whoever Megatron has in his berth room is his.
• Doesn’t really do the bondage thing with handcuffs, ropes, or anything of the sort, instead enjoys using his physical strength to hold you down whenever he wants.
• Wants praise, but won’t admit it directly; just teases you and makes you beg for him and tell him what you want and how good he is at (x) before he’ll do anything.
• In the circumstance under which you two have a relationship- a secret one, I assume- he’s very rough in the berth, so much so that after every time you interface, there’s always scuffs and paint transfers of his grey and red onto your (f/c) frame. 

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• Prowl absolutely loves it.
• He’s sitting in his berthroom, meditating one evening when you knock on his door- he recognizes that it’s your knock, because like everyone else on base, you have a knock that’s individual to you and he’s learned to recognize exactly what it sounds like.
• While he normally wouldn’t interrupt his meditation to invite someone into his room, he’s been crushing on you for a while, so he gets his aft up to open the door and invite you in. Only... You’re hiding something behind your back. He figures it’s some sort of thing, as you wouldn’t come to his room with something in hand if you were actively trying to hide it from him for an extended period.
• He can’t help but wonder what it is as the two of you sit on his floor, but his questions are quickly answered when you pull the stuffed animal out from behind your back and hand it to him. It’s a small, knit stuffed bear that’s white with a teal bowties and a red and white mushroom hat, rosy cheeks, a heart shaped black nose, and round black eyes. 
• “What’s the occasion?” He asks, tilting his head and taking the tiny thing in his servos. It’s literally the size of, like, two of his digits, and he’s smitten with it. He loves the bear, loves the mushroom hat, loves that you’ve picked out something so nature-oriented for him.
• “There’s not an occasion, I just saw it and thought of you.”
• Prowl’s heart grew three sizes that day.
• The new stuffed animal, affectionately named Mint for the color of its bowtie, is Prowl’s new prized possession. He carries her when he has to travel somewhere for a long period of time, takes her with him when he goes out for nature walks, sleeps with her at night- not only does he love Mint herself, but loves that she’s a gift from you and treasures her for that simple fact.
• In return, Prowl starts buying you stuffed animals as well, and the two of you start a nice little collection. (:

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• Optimus Prime: Strawberry milkshake
• Prowl: Black tea, straight
• Ratchet: Coffee
• Bumblebee: Orange juice
• Bulkhead: Matcha tea with creamer
• Sentinel Prime: Caramel steamer
• Ultra Magnus: Ice water in a frozen glass
• Jazz: Red tea, with milk and sugar
• Blurr: Blueberry flavored water
• Megatron: Moscato wine
• Blitzwing: Hot chocolate
• Lugnut: Chocolate milk
• Swindle: Lavender steamer
• Starscream: Pineapple soda
• Lockdown: Vanilla milk
• Shockwave: Sparkling grape juice
• Soundwave: Jumex brand pear juice 
• Blackarachnia: Blue/red slushie mixed together

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• Optimus Prime: Strawberry
• Prowl: Brownie (the cosmic ones with the rainbow candies from Little Debbie, specifically)
• Ratchet: Spaghetti
• Bumblebee: Hamburger
• Bulkhead: Apple
• Ultra Magnus: Chicken noodle soup
• Sentinel Prime: Chicken and dumplings
• Jazz: Vegetable soup
• Blurr: Cereal, but only the yellow ones like cheerios, honey combs, and pops
• Megatron: Red velvet cake 
• Starscream: Grilled cheese
• Lugnut: French toast 
• Blitzwing: Garlic bread 
• Swindle: Crème brûlée
• Lockdown: Snickerdoodle cookie
• Shockwave: PB&J
• Soundwave: Broccoli
• Blackarachnia: Cheesestick

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• Optimus Prime: (Milk) Chocolate covered strawberries
• Prowl: Caramel chews
• Ratchet: Cinnamon suckers
• Bulkhead: Chocolate rocks
• Bumblebee: Lemon drops
• Jazz: Gummy bears
• Blurr: Gummy worms
• Sentinel Prime: Candy/gummy orange slices 
• Ultra Magnus: Cough drops (the gross mint ones. yes they count for this)
• Megatron: (Dark) Chocolate covered blueberries
• Starscream: Poprocks
• Lugnut: Swedish fish
• Blitzwing: Candy corn
• Shockwave: Those strawberry hard candies that old people have that always cut your mouth, in the strawberry shaped/colored wrappers, pretty sure no one knows what they’re actually called 
• Soundwave: Haribo wax coke bottles
• Swindle: Multi-colored gumballs 
• Lockdown: Whoppers
• Blackarachnia: Black licorice

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Strawberry
• Prowl: Green tea
• Ratchet: Coffee
• Bulkhead: Cream 
• Bumblebee: Lemon
• Sentinel Prime: Cake Batter
• Jazz: Cherry
• Blurr: Birthday Cake
• Ultra Magnus: Vanilla
• Megatron: Mint Chocolate Chip
• Blitzwing: Cooke dough
• Lugnut: Rocky Road
• Starscream: Orange
• Swindle: Rum
• Lockdown: Cookies And Cream
• Shockwave: Grape
• Soundwave: Lime
• Blackarachnia: Chocolate 

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• You’re Ultra Magnus’s advisor and body guard (even though he’s fully capable of making his own decisions and protecting himself, the council insists he have one, so he chooses you since he has a bit of a, uh... Soft spot for you).
• The two of you met when you were in the academy together. While Ultra Magnus was a by-the-book, straight-laced, responsible, rule-following star student, you were the exact opposite; constantly finding loopholes to things, irresponsible, reckless, and ready to break any rule that you could. Your grades were horrible even though you were naturally more talented than him, and you barely paused any of your tests or training exercises, exclusively out of lack of effort and preparing properly. You seem to relish in pissing off your instructors.
• Somehow, though, the two of you are best friends. Ultra Magnus keeps you in line and you help him learn to relax and let loose a bit, though the most you rope him into is sneaking out at night to go watch the stars once or twice- he never participates in any of your stealing, vandalism, or pranks.
• As you get older, it only gets worse. You start ditching missions and offloading your work onto others, both blatantly ignoring rules and using existing loopholes to ignore them. You’re a mischievous little Autobot, but he loves you for it. You’re fun, brave, bold, and the way you smile when you’re up to no good makes his spark beat hard against his chest plates. 
• The two of you lose each other for a bit. You’re promoted to second in command of the Elite Guard because, despite your mischievous ways, you’re a phenomenal fighter and strategist. Ultra Magnus is busy doing his own thing- mainly solo Decepticon assassination missions, and then comes his promotion to Magnus.
• Surprisingly, you’re offered it first... Only to decline it.
• “Hey, I don’t even live by the rules myself, I’m sure as hell not here to enforce ‘em. Why not Ultra Prime?”
• And so, he’s given the rank of Magnus instead when his predecessor decides to hand it down. 
• When the Autobot High Council demands that he appoint someone to be his advisor and bodyguard, he chooses you.
• “Dammit, Ultra Magnus, why’d you have to rope me into this official-government-haggling nonsense? You know I’m not good at this stuff, and I don’t care about it.”
• “But we’re friends, you’re good at it, and you do care about me. I wouldn’t want anyone else to do this for me.”
• You begrudgingly accept the appointment, and with that, the two of you reconnect. 
• Ultra Magnus finds that instead of you guarding and advising him, most of the time, he’s babysitting you; making you come to the meetings you need to be there for, making you train and study with him so you can both stay in shape, making you give your input on things even though you don’t really care about a lot of things.
• He’s had a crush on you the whole time, to be honest; from the first day in the academy where you talked back to your commander and made the whole group do a few hundred pushups as punishment, to when the two of you became friends, to when you both went on your separate paths, all the way to now. 
• When Shockwave- AKA Longarm Prime- attacks him, you’re there, surprisingly vigilant for once, and though he’s lightly injured, you come through and use your guard sword to damage Shockwave so badly that he’s sent into a forced stasis. In the midst of the battle, though, you’re beat up pretty bad (considering that you’re half of Shockwave’s size, it makes sense) and have to be taken to the infirmary for medical care.
• For once, Ultra Magnus finds that he’s ditching HIS duties, more interested in taking care of you while you heal and talking to you than politics and war and rule following. 
• You joke about it, too. “Hm, don’t you have a meeting to be at?”
• “You’re more important.”
• The incident really makes him realize that, even though you’re a hassle sometimes, he loves you more than anything and doesn’t know what he’d do if he had to lose you- so he decides that he needs to tell you how he feels before he loses the chance.
• When you’re finally healed up and back to work for the first day since the attack, you’re acting like you usually do- lounging around on his throne and not paying attention to much of anything- only for him to interrupt the moment with a small, simple “I love you so much, (y/n).”
• You stop, grinning and saying that you didn’t think he was the joking type, but he just stares at you, deadpan before you go “OH. YOU’RE SERIOUS. I, uh, think that’s inappropriate fraternization according to the stupid little rulebook you follow, but... I love you too.”

• In the berthroom, Ultra Magnus is very... Stern. Sensual, loving, and heated, but also exuding restraint and patience that you don’t have, willing to punish you and do what he has to in order to keep you in line.
• He definitely tops. Don’t @ me, no arguments welcome here, it’s not up for debate.
• Wants to do all the work and pamper you, won’t let you lift a digit to please him and insists on taking care of everything himself. 
• When you’ve been particularly teasing, irresponsible, lazy, or rebellious, the first thing Ultra Magnus will do when the two of you reach your berthroom is pull you to the bed, sit down, and bend you over his knee to firmly slap your aft.
• Knows that you’re actually relishing in the “punishment” but likes to pretend that he’s putting you in line and giving you proper consequences for actions that, tbh, you should be fired from your advisor/bodyguard position for.
• Common phrases/dialogue; “Have you learned your lesson yet?”, “Can you be good and follow the rules for me, sweetpark?” “Don’t test me, you know I’m not afraid to punish you if you act up, darling,”
• Basically... Daddy

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• Hot take; Megatron is touch-starved, but doesn’t really realize it.
• He doesn’t have anyone who’s touching him outside of battle and refuses to acknowledge how he craves more when he feels another’s servos brush against him by accident. His Decepticons that he’s leading are kind of off limits, Autobots are disgusting, and humans are even worse, but then you come along.
• You’re the team medic. You respect Megatron’s ideals, but you don’t really respect him at all. You’re rude, you don’t address him properly (at most he might get a mocking “lord”), you avoid combat at all costs despite being a Decepticon, you tease him and flirt with him all the time, and you’re SO touchy, putting servos on his shoulders and bumping into him on purpose and poking him with your filthy little claws.
• The behavior is enraging, you should be scared of him like everyone else, but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to stop you or even scold you, only scoffing and rolling his optics at every attempt, because like... He weirdly enjoys the attention, and especially the touches. He’ll purposefully get injured or ask you to put more on your plate at work so he has excuses to see you more, relishes in how uncharacteristically tender you are when fixing him up. 
• One day, the two of you are talking in your med bay, just about some experiment you’re doing when you reach over and toss an arm around his waist as you’re showing him some of his results.
• Suddenly, he’s compelled to ask exactly what your intentions are, “Why do you always insist on touching me? What’s your motive?”
• “Why do you let me?”
• He almost blows a fucking circuit. Why do you have to be so teasing all the time?
• For a few moments, the two of you just stare at each other, ruby red optics pouring into ruby red optics, a smirk on your face and a look of uncertainty on his until you grab his faceplates and lean in to gently press your lips against his.
• When you kiss him, he isn’t the suave, smooth romantic charmer that everyone expects, but instead, he desperately wraps his arms around you and frantically pulls you to his chest, deepening the kiss and moaning into it. He hasn’t been touched in so long, and to just feel another’s chest against his, sparks beating against sparks, servos on hot metal and lips on lips is almost too much for him..
• He doesn’t know how to react, and when you finally pull away with your lip plating bruised from the intensity of how he’s kissed you, he finds himself blinking.
• “My apologies, I may have gotten a little carried away there... Would you like to continue this in my berth, (y/n)?”
• “I’d love that, Lord Megatron.”

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• Imagine this scenario taking place a bit after the end of season three. Optimus Prime is the new Magnus, Sentinel kind of hates it but comes to terms with it and becomes Optimus’s body guard/advisor, Megatron escapes from prison and builds a new hidden base on Cybertron so he can wreak havoc, as he does. He somehow manages to help the other Decepticons escape, which is not only terrifying but inconvenient as Optimus is now receiving a lot of backlash for not having better prison security, and politically, he ain’t doing too great.
• Sentinel, having now matured a bit through the course of the series, has a better relationship with Optimus. There’s still some tension in the air that they haven’t resolved, they still snap at each other and fight and have disagreements, but they’re at least mostly cordial again and working together decently. Okay, fine. Sentinel is cool with ignoring the feelings for Optimus that he’s had since they were in the academy, as long as Optimus is okay and happy and around him again and single.
• But then the coms from Megatron start coming. The Decepticon warlord has somehow obtained their contact information and started contacting Optimus all through the day and night, interrupting his work and trying to talk him into all sorts of things; joining the Decepticons, allowing them to rule, coming to meet him alone in suspicious locations, challenging him to casual training battles, asking him to hang out of all things... Sentinel isn’t sure if it’s a trap or if Megatron is showing some sort of weird romantic interest, but either way, he fucking HATES it. As in, despises it and wants to tear Megatron limb for limb, because he would be damned if he knew Optimus for as many light years as he did and lost to some Decepticon fuck.
• He was content with spending time with Optimus and working with him constantly, hiding his feelings, as long as he felt like Optimus was... There, present, like there was a chance that something could happen between the two one day, but the potential of Optimus going off and doing Primus knows what with Megatron scares him and he hates it, because even though he doesn’t think Optimus loves him back or even forgives him for everything he’s done, he’s a selfish bot who wants Optimus as his own.
• Everything starts driving him mad; Optimus’s fleeting touches, Optimus’s voice, Optimus acting like everything was fine when Sentinel had fallen head over stabilizing servos for him like a fool.
• Things come to a boiling point one night when Sentinel decides he’s finally going to confess. It’s been a long time coming, and he just... Can’t get over how much he loves Optimus and everything about him; his strength, his fortitude, his kindness, his sarcasm, his humor, his appearance, his determination, his everything. Maybe the glass of oil he had alone in his berthroom was a little too much for him, or maybe the recent conflicts with Megatron are making him realize that he may not have forever to make his move, but he finds that he can’t stop himself as he shows up to Optimus’s quarters, opening the unlocked door without thinking, only to see Optimus... Packing a bag.
• Sentinel immediately gets a bad feeling when Optimus turns around and looks at him like he’s been caught doing something wrong, packed bag being slung over his shoulder and Magnus hammer in one of his servos. As his advisor and bodyguard, Sentinel knows damn well that he’s to be informed of any trips or battles that Optimus is participating in before anyone else, and since the start of his rule, Optimus has always done that... Except for this time, apparently.
• “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Optimus?” The blue and gold bot enters the room and shuts the door behind him with a huff, crossing his arms. He can already tell that Optimus was trying to hide this from him as the Magnus averts his gaze with a heavy blush and sighs.
• “I didn’t want you to find out like this, but... I’m going after Megatron, alone. I need to do this for myself, but the council won’t approve me seeking him out no matter how many times I appeal their decision on the solo mission I proposed. So... I’m leaving tonight. Don’t tell anyone else.”
• Sentinel’s first thought is about whether or not Optimus wants him to get fired because, seriously? Sentinel was meant to be his bodyguard! To protect him! Optimus, as Magnus, was meant to be a public figure and a symbol of strength for Cybertron- not to go out and apprehend petty wash-out criminals! Couldn’t he have at least thought to bring Sentinel along if he was going to do something so... Illegal?
• It turns into an argument; Sentinel arguing that not only is it going against the council’s decision and very much illegal, but that Megatron has weird fucked up intentions with Optimus and has been trying to lure him for a while, that this could be some sort of trap, and that whether he likes it or not, he needs someone to protect him. Sentinel isn’t even so much against the fact that it’s out of conduct as he is that it’s Optimus putting himself in danger like he always does; like an idiot.
• “Sentinel, I’ve got it handled and I can do this alone! I know you’re my bodyguard, but I’ve never needed you to protect me! Where was this side of you back then?”
• “I know you can do it alone, but I don’t want you to! And I’ve changed since then-”
• “Well, so have I, and I’m more independent and capable than I was, so why do you insist on coddling me when it comes to Megatron? I’ve defeated him once, and I can do it again-”
• “Because I love you, okay!? You fragging dolt! I need to keep you safe!”
• Oh. He hadn’t meant to say it like that, but as soon as he did, they were both freezing in place, Optimus dropping his hammer to the ground and Sentinel looking at where it had fallen. At some point, they’d walked up to each other, faces in each other’s faces and optics full of panic and rage and passion and something else he couldn’t quite identify.
• “You...”
• “N-Never mind, I should leave! I was just kidding, you didn’t hear anything-” 
• “I love you, too, you know. Always have, I just... Didn’t want you to worry about me or get hurt.”
• The confession almost goes over his head and has him stammering over his own words, struggling to process what had just been said- all these light years, both of them loved each other and just didn’t say anything, and it took Optimus trying to sneak off on his own to go fight Megatron for either of them to say anything.
• “O-Oh... So can I come with you? Pretty please with an energon candy on top?”
• At that, Optimus sighs.
• “...Fine.”

Chapter Text

• On Cybertron, they don’t really have dance except for the ones at the formal balls that especially affluent/political/royal Transformers have for arranged bondings, position appointments, or other formal celebrations. Prowl never participated in that kind of thing so he never saw any of it.
• When he gets to earth, he’s incredibly fascinated by the concepts of yoga and dancing; relaxing, intense movements that help him focus and release his frustration. He either first hears about them from Sari or sees them on the television that Bee is always watching, gets immediately captivated and starts participating himself. 
• And then, he meets you. He’s actually just on a nice little stroll around town when he sees a poster flyer about a ballet recital at a local community center soon and makes a mental note.
• He gets back to base and asks Sari if she wants to go. Of course, she’s THRILLED, as Prowl usually doesn’t want much to do with earth activities unless they have to do with something outside.
• So the night comes and Prowl, with Sari in tow, shows up to your recital and watches you. You’re a (height), (h/l) (h/c)-haired dancer with soft-looking (s/c) skin and gorgeous (e/c) eyes. His first thought as he sees you doing a routine for The Sleeping Beauty by Tschaikovsky is that you have beautiful form, and his second thought is that he wants to talk to you. Sari is enjoying herself (albeit a little too loudly) and he appreciates the time spent with her bonding over an art that both of them could enjoy. 
• The second the show ends, Prowl gets backstage to talk to you, but before he can say anything, you speak first.
• “Oh my God, you’re one of the Autobots! Prowl, right? You’re my favorite! I’m (y/n), can I get your autograph?”
• “Only if I can get yours.”
• And thus begins a beautiful friendship, and romance. Prowl is surprised that you even noticed him or liked him through the news, as most of the screentime his team gets goes to more friendly and sociable bots like Optimus, Bee, and Bulkhead- as well as the controversial human and Decepticon villains.
• Prowl takes Sari home and the two of you meet up again, then talk for the rest of the night, an immediate connection there that ignites conversations of hobbies, passions, hopes, dreams, sorrows, loves, and both little and big things in your lives. He walks you home with a big, dopey grin on his face during the sunrise, and the two of you exchange contact information. 
• You’re inseparable after that. Prowl goes to all of your shows, you come around base and teach him how to do ballet, buying him some wall mirrors for one side of his room and wall-mounted bars as well as some good floor mats for the other side of his room. You can’t really get him a proper pair of ballet shoes considering how large he is, but for Christmas, you have Ratchet and Bulkhead help you design a pair- even if Prowl, with his durability, doesn’t really need them. 
• He’s flexible and has a ton of potential, so he learns from you fast, and you enjoy teaching him ballet. The two of you always have practice sessions together, you show him how to do your hair and all of the costumes, and you show him your favorite pieces. He saves all of your favorites and always dances of them when he wants to think of you, and all of the Autobots tease him in one way or another for having someone who he’s basically dating, though he doesn’t acknowledge that until you ask him out on an official date, that of which he obviously says yes to. You guys have a very open communication, direct, easy-flowing relationship.
• Even when you’re gone on tour, you make the effort to call him, which is nice. Fans talk about you and him sometimes, but thankfully, both of you are good at keeping privacy and avoiding gossip.
• Overall... Wholesome (: 

Chapter Text

• Contrary to what might be popular belief, Megatron actually has a hard time holding in his emotions and is quite honest- because he never has to lie to his followers unless it’s part of some strategic, fucked up scheme of his. He’s always in power, always in control, always able to do basically whatever he wants without any real consequences.
• But now there’s consequences, because terrorizing the Autobots has led to him meeting and falling in love with you. And he doesn’t know what to do about it.
• Everyone around base notices he’s on edge. Shockwave and Soundwave only talk to each other for basic business matters, terrified to address Megatron, Lugnut’s praising gets more incessant and comforting than it should be, Swindle and Lockdown don’t try to contact him for any “deals”, and Starscream doesn’t dare go near him. 
• Finally, Shockwave comes to him and says, “My liege, I hate to disturb you, but if something is bothering you... You have plenty of resources. Why not fix the issue instead of dwelling on it? It’s been a few cycles since we’ve made any substantial progress, and I’m growing quite concerned-”
• Megatron doesn’t even let him finish, just stands up, pushes the poor con to the side and leaves- because dammit, Shockwave is right, this is hindering the Decepticon cause and needs to be fixed ASAP.
• So, anger, love, infatuation, obsession, frustration, agitation and all, Megatron storms off to the Autobot base and somehow fenagles his way into your room through your thankfully large bay window. Of course, you wake up at the noise of a giant Decepticon in your room, jolting up in your berth and backing yourself up against the headboard, though Megatron just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest as he waits for you to collect yourself.
• “M-Megatron!” You whisper, surprisingly, even though he was sure you would try to alert your team of his presence. “What are you doing here? The others are recharging, what if-”
• “I don’t care. Come over here.”
• Again, surprisingly, you listen to him and gulp before standing and walking over to him.
• “You,” Megatron hisses at you and grabs you by the shoulders, pulling you into him with a glare. You’re too shocked to do anything, only staring. “What have you done to me?”
• “W-What?” You only stutter at him, blushing, cute, harmless- he just wanted to yank you up and kiss your face and take you back to his base to make you his, because his stupid feelings were starting to drive him insane.
• “Feel me,” Without any other words, Megatron sets you back down and grabs your servo, placing it on his chest plates- he can feel how hard his spark is beating inside of him, and he knows that you can feel it, too, based on how your optics widen at the touch. “This is your fault, and I demand you fix it, you filthy Autobot.”
• “(y/n),” You murmur and use your spare servo to grab one of his, repeating the action from moments before and placing his servo on your chest. The beating of your spark matched his; fast, hard, intense, lovestruck. “If we’re going to do this, at least use my name.”
• “This situation is quite perplexing for the both of us,” Megatron sighs as he realizes everything that’s happened. You’re on opposing sides, and you’ve fallen in love with each other, but can’t be together freely like a pair of Autobots or a pair of Decepticons or a pair of humans would be able to be. “But I can’t get rid of my longing for you, and I’m at my wits end. Won’t you have me, little Autobot- or, (y/n)?”
• “How good are you at being quiet?” You stammer, an uncharacteristically mischievous edge to your voice. 
• He quirks an optical ridge. “Why do you ask?”
• “W-Well... My berth’s open for you, at least for a little bit.”
• At that, he smirks. “Then I won’t make so much as a noise, so long as you do what I say and submit to me.”
• After that night, in which the two of you make passionate love and separate after sharing intimate whispers in your berth for hours, you maintain a secret relationship; meeting when you can, trying to keep your dynamic appearing the same in public, and it’s not the best, but it works.
• TBH, the Decepticons are just happy that Megatron isn’t so pissed off about it anymore.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: A picnic/walk in the park! He likes observing humans and nature, as well as enjoying the sun on warm days and the clouds on cooler ones. He usually brings a basket of energon treats for himself and some of whatever you’d like, laying out a nice blanket for the two of you to lay out on the grass and watch the clouds/pointing out their shapes as you eat/fuel.
• Prowl: Yoga/yoga classes! Bonus if it’s outside. He really likes the movement and how peaceful it makes him feel, and if he can get you to do it with him, it’s even better- especially loves bonding with you over shared activities. 
• Ratchet: A book shop! Books are so different than the personal and data tablets Ratchet is used to seeing on Cybertron, and he finds that he loves not only the reading of the pages but the book shops themselves; they’re always warm, cozy, and serving some sort of drink you like, so the two of you can both pick out a book (if he finds any large enough for his huge servos), sit down outside, and read together.
• Bumblebee: Arcade! That place just fits his vibe; fun games, big lights, flashy, etc. He does enjoy the games, but when he goes to the ones with prizes like Celebration Station, Chuck E Cheese, etc., he’s more focused on getting tickets for whatever prize he wants than actually playing the games (even tho said prizes cost like, thirty dollars online somewhere and playing coins cost a lot more). Will use his height to cheat on the basketball by picking you up, leaning you forward, and having you drop the balls into the goal.
• Bulkhead: Painting/painting classes! This one’s obvious, but a lot like Prowl, he loves bonding with you over your shared interests. So, he especially loves it when you’ll paint with him, but if that’s not your thing, he’ll love it just as much if you sit with him/watch while he paints or allow him to paint you.
• Ultra Magnus: A nice dinner! This guy’s old as dirt and a classic gentleman, no one can convince me otherwise. He’ll set up a nice table with a fancy cloth draped over it at your home, warm candle lighting, fancy plates and wine glasses, the works. If you’re human, he’ll have the finest food cooked for you, and if you’re Cybertronian, he’ll chat with you over a cube of energon and some of his best high grade. 
• Blurr: Racing!
• Jazz: A jam session! He enjoys driving you around in his alt mode with his speakers on blast, taking you through whatever area you’d like and exploring the scenery while your favorite tunes play. Additionally, on days that you feel like spending at home, he’s great at playing an array of Cybertronian instruments for you.
• Arcee: Coffee shop! If you’re on earth, she obviously can’t drink coffee or anything else they have there, but she likes the vibe during the cooler seasons and likes taking you. If you’re on Cybertron, there’s Cybertronian equivalents of coffee shops that have energon with energy spikes like espresso shots, and they’re different flavors and whatnot.
• Sentinel Prime: Shopping/the mall! TBH, not only does he love spoiling you and making sure that you have everything you could ever want, but he also loves showing off that he has the money/ability to do so. Also just likes giving you things, seeing you happy, and buying some things for himself as well.
• Megatron: Oil tasting! You’re out of luck if you’re human on this, but he’d totally take you wine tasting. Megatron just enjoys the finer things in life and is interested in new experiences, particularly ones that revolve around Cybertronian culture and highgrade oil since he’s studied both subjects so much. Going to different oil production plants and trying the different kinds they have has always been very fascinating to him, and if he can take you on that adventure with him, he’ll never forget it.
• Starscream: Flying! Will transform into his alt mode with you in his cockpit and take you flying, the two of you admiring both the clouds above you and the scenery below you as you go along. It’s thrilling, exciting, and Starscream relishes in how impressed you are by his ability to fly/carry you in the sky for so long.
• Lockdown: Bounty hunting! He doesn’t really do traditional dates, but he adores seeing you in action and helping him, and you always let him keep the profits (unlike his other partners). TBH, he finds something about you getting intel or fighting bounties with him especially attractive and will make a sort of date out of it where you get a celebration dinner and go out to do something fun after the hit/capture.
• Swindle: Weapons building! Because why would he spend money on dates? No, but seriously, he doesn’t like spending much but will still try to include you on things he does and have you include him in things as well so it doesn’t seem like you don’t ever do anything with him. Something he teaches you how to do and has you help him with quite often is building weapons to sell, and the two of you listen to music, chat, and drink while you work.
• Blitzwing: Prank sprees! This is definitely a collab between Hothead and Random, but they love terrorizing Autobots, humans, and Decepticons alike with pranks, and of course, you’re there to help him.
• Lugnut: Cooking/baking! If you’re human, he’ll try to learn how to bake human food and fail, not only because it’s so different than making energon treats but because it’s so SMALL compared to him and he just can’t handle it without some sort of explosion. You’ll have to do most of the work, and he’ll just sit there in an apron watching. If you’re Cybertronian, it’s the opposite, where he’ll be making energon goods for the two of you (and for lord Megatron, of course). Time spent in the kitchen is good and wholesome with you two talking and helping each other out.
• Shockwave: Experiments/working in the lab! Like Swindle and Lockdown, he doesn’t really do dates, but it isn’t for any financial reasons- it’s just that, as the head scientist for the Decepticons, he’s usually quite busy. Thankfully, the two of you just enjoy each other’s company, and you’re happy to help him work and bond with him that way.
• Soundwave: Terrorizing humans! Soundwave probably wouldn’t date you unless you’re either Cybertronian or share the same out there beliefs as he does about the relationships between robots and humans, so yeah. Y’all are terrorizing humans together or working on some sort of plot to inconvenience them/make their technology stop working/taking over their technology. Soundwave isn’t really the romantic date type.
• Blackarachnia: Horror movie night! After coming to earth and learning about horror movies, she realizes that she’s very into them. You two can spend hours at a time on a couch watching gory movies and eating energon snacks/popcorn/candy while cuddling.

Chapter Text

• You and Sentinel’s relationship had fallen into place by itself. After Optimus Prime became Optimus Magnus, you as the replacement for Jazz who had left the Elite Guard, were there for him to grieve both over Ultra Magnus and the lost position, as well as over the many mistakes he’d made during his life. You were kind and gentle, someone who always put up with him, someone he could rely on, and he appreciated your stability in the time of change and chaos. 
• So, you fell in love, and so did he. It was quick, but natural, working easily. Sentinel brought out the determination and fire that you had, and you brought out the more gentle, understanding, patient side that he’d kept hidden for so long.
• You move in together and develop a committed, long-lasting relationship that continues for many years as Optimus settles into the role of Magnus with Sentinel Prime being his advisor and second in command of the Elite Guard.
• As you can imagine, with this being his first long-term relationship and him not having any close friends or family or anyone else who he can touch, Sentinel is very touch-starved and very, very cuddly as a result.
• Long nights are spent on the couch with Sentinel just holding you close his chest, running his servos up and down your body and kissing your helm over and over again. If you want to move or do something else, he will whine like a brat until he gets his way. In the berth, it’s even worse, and he insists on being completely wrapped around your smaller (f/c) frame or at least having you completely wrapped around him. He has to be touching another in order to recharge or he’ll have nightmares.
• In public, he always wants to hold your servo or have an arm around your waist, or have a servo on your back or shoulder. It reassures him that you’re still there/not leaving/safe. If anyone tries to touch you or make you uncomfortable, he’s the first to speak up and glare daggers the nanoklik he notices it. 
• He’s totally soft and tries to pretend that he isn’t around everyone else while simultaneously showing you off 24/7. Everyone knows that he’s completely and utterly smitten. It’s painfully sweet to watch. 
• The two of you slowly learn everything about each other and are just... Comfortable.
• So, one night while the two of you are on the couch together, Sentinel rubbing your back after a long day’s work, you suddenly speak up.
• “Hey, Sentinel?”
• “Yeah, sweetspark?”
• “How would you feel about spark bonding with me?”
• He nearly screams and chokes at the same time, abruptly sitting up and looking at you with wide blue optics. He’d loved you for such a long time, and of course he wanted to bond with you, but he never expected you to be the one to propose it. 
• “It makes sense that you’d want to bond with me- I am pretty great, after all,” Sentinel tries to joke, earning a huff from you in return. “Seriously, though, I uh... I love you. I’d give anything to bond with you, (y/n).”
• Rushing to do so and almost struggling with his shaky servos, Sentinel opens his chestplates to you, you do the same, and then, you bond. 
• It’s an interesting experience. A lot of Cybertronians like to interface during or after the bonding process to consummate it in a way, but neither of you think to do so, only enjoying the feeling of his orange-hued spark blending into your (f/c) one and vice versa, the feeling of your emotions and memories and thoughts pouring into his and his pouring into yours in return. It’s a quick but intense progress, and when you finish, both of you closing your panels and collapsing onto the couch, he can’t help but notice how your loud sparkbeat matches his.
• “I love you too, Sentinel.”

Chapter Text

• So, after that night (as described in part two), the two of you start... Dating. Or, at least trying to the best you can considering your circumstances.
• It starts off as late nights sneaking out to one another’s places, hooking up, laying together and talking, but eventually Megatron decides that you deserve something more romantic and tries to plan a “date”.
• Not really his thing. He asks Shockwave for help- not revealing that it’s you he’s going on the hypothetical date, of course- and Shockwave is equally as confused. So are Soundwave, Blitzwing, and Lugnut. So he’s kind of left perplexed until Starscream, who happened to be lurking around, overheard the conversation and made a suggestion that actually wasn’t horrible (whilst teasing him for having a date); a walk in the park. 
• Maybe it was a little more public than he’d liked, but you seemed to enjoy being outside and nature on earth, so he figured it would be fine if the two of you did it at night when there weren’t too many people out who would recognize him.
• So he tells you about his idea, packs a nice little energon picnic, and takes you to the park... Only, the second you two arrive, you see Bumblebee and Blitzwing, clearly together and holding servos while they stroll through an empty path. They’re heading in your direction, so the two of you end up having to hide up in some large oak trees until they leave. Megatron would be angry if he didn’t find it hypocritical, to be honest, but the loud yellow one who had called him ugly the first time they met? Really, Blitzwing?
• Fine, date idea scrapped. Even after Blitzwing and Bumblebee leave, you can’t get over the fact that you saw Blitzwing and Bumblebee, so you two just end up sneaking back into the Decepticon base and talking about that all night.
• You’re the one to plan the next date, and thankfully, you’re a little more aware of dating customs than Megatron so you don’t need help, but you still find yourself asking Bumblebee what he thinks a good date would be- not telling him that it’s Megatron, of course, no matter how hard he presses you to tell him. 
• Bumblebee tells you that he’s been flying a couple times since he’s been on earth and that’s been nice (he frames it like he’s been in a large airplane or something, but we all know Blitzwing was the one who took him, Bumblebee just said it without thinking and had to backtrack). You tell Megatron about the idea, and a few nights later you go; him flying in his jet mode, you in his cockpit, the two of you flying through the sky when you suddenly hear a “OH, PRIMUS, SOMEBOT RIP OUT MY OPTICS!” from Megatron. You’re confused as to what could possibly have Megatron so unusually expressive until you look a good distance in front of you and see what had offended him so- oh-
• Starscream and Optimus Prime, high up in the air, Starscream’s wings fluttering to keep him in flight and slender arms around Optimus Prime’s waist to keep him both in the air. You swear they’re so close they’re about to melt into each other, tongue and dentas and hands all over each other, so you decide not to interrupt (though you do find it funny that Optimus, the rule following anti-cross-faction-fraternization leader of yours looks like he’s about to frag Starscream, arguably the worst out of all the Decepticons, in the middle of the sky where anyone could fly by at any minute) and Megatron flies down.
• Night ruined, again. Megatron tries his best this time to plan a date so unique and special that the two of you couldn’t POSSIBLY run into anyone else you know, so he orders a ton of fireworks, takes you to the middle of nowhere, and starts a fireworks show. It goes well at first, the two of you sitting together with you on Megatron’s lap, sharing the occasional kiss as he rubs his shoulders and watches the fireworks with you...
• Only for a small blue Autobot and his giant purple Decepticon rival to come running through, clearly in the midst of a fight, not even noticing you and trampling the remainder of your fireworks in their tracks right as the last of the ones you had lit burnt out.
• Okay. Well, at least you got a partial date, and at least Blurr and Shockwave hadn’t looked like they were about to fuck (or were they?).
• The two of you decide your luck is just horrible and decide that you clearly need to have all of your teammates schedules accounted for before deciding to go anywhere. 
• So, you do. Ratchet will be working in the med bay, Bee and Bulkhead are watching television with Sari, Optimus is busy with paperwork, and Prowl has a yoga class tonight. Shockwave is busy working, Blitzwing and Lugnut have plans to get trashed on energon, and Starscream will probably either be bothering Optimus on the Autobot base or be planning some new nefarious scheme like he almost always is. 
• You and Megatron decide to try the park date again and it ends up going pretty well at first. No people out since it’s around midnight, a clear sky full of bright stars and a beautiful full moon. You two lay out a large blanket and go on a picnic, sharing energon and talking with you laying your head in Megatron’s lap until- 
• “Tch, young love,” You turn around to see no other than Ratchet standing there, arms crossed and face etched with disapproval. You only offer him a guilty smile, and Megatron just sits there feeling like he’s a newspark being interrogated by his lover’s sire (this is exactly what this is, as Ratchet is the team’s dad/grandpa). “I’m just gonna ignore this, but what time are you going to be home, (y/n)?”
• “U-Um... I’ll be there by five, Ratchet.”
• “Good. Be safe, okay?”
• “Okay.”
• After that, you and Megatron decide that dates at home might just be the best idea after all.

Chapter Text

• The two of you are working together with you as his lead scientist and him as your commander since Shockwave is undercover as Longarm Prime- you’re a replacement, of sorts. Like Blitzwing, Starscream, and Lugnut, you end up traveling to earth with him and are responsible for helping reunite the little band of Decepticons when he gets his body back.
• Only... Once things feel like they’re getting back to normal, they get weird again. You start receiving letters, slipped under the door of your berthroom whenever you aren’t there. 
• “There are infinite stars in the sky, but those in your optics are the ones that light up my life.”
• It’s a quickly scrawled, clearly rushed note, and you know that you recognize it from somewhere but can’t quite put a digit on it. You shrug the incident off as a one time thing, keeping the note in your room just in case you ever do find the culprit.
• But then you get another. And another... And another. And then a few more.
• They come once a day, never at the same time- probably so you can’t guess who it is or when they’re going to come for you to catch them. So they were smart. At the very least, whoever was responsible wasn’t Lugnut- yes, the con was verbose, but he was very obvious when it came to his feelings and wouldn’t have thought to split up the times like that. So, your suspects were Megatron, Blitzwing, Starscream, or some human or Autobot. 
• Little do you know what Megatron’s whereabouts have been. The mech has been a lovestruck mess for the past few weeks since he’s gotten his body back. Being trapped as nothing but a head in some guy’s laboratory basement really puts things into perspective- namely, the things he should’ve appreciated about his old life that he hadn’t back then, AKA you. You were always loyal to him for more than the Decepticon cause, and you seemed to care about him, not as a leader, but as his own mech. When he saw you again, and when you showed so much concern for him and his health when he got his body back, taking him to your new base and fixing him up/catching him up on everything, he couldn’t help but see you from a new perspective. 
• He doesn’t know how to tell you and finds himself dabbling in his old hobby of poetry, which he hadn’t been able to do since he’d been blown up by Starscream- that bastard. He considered just keeping the poems about you to himself, but hey, if it were him, he would want to know what you were writing about him. So... He left the little notes and poems underneath your door when he knew you weren’t going to be there, just to express how much he was starting to love you.  
• He started to spend more time writing than scheming. Your optics, your lips, your voice, your servos, your smile, how you checked up on him even though you didn’t need to, it was all... A lot. He couldn’t help but love you. Eventually, though, he finds a balance, and starts writing you a poem or a small line of endearment before he goes to recharge, slips it under your door while you’re still working in the lab, and leaves... He figures you never need to know, right? He can keep it to himself.

Chapter Text

• You’re Ultra Magnus’s assistant. When he’s appointed as Magnus, he finds that he can’t do all of the paperwork, politics, self-care, and training by himself, so he hires an assistant. After filing through all of the applications and resumes, doing multiple interviews, and having background checks, he decides that you’re the best fit. You have perfect academy marks, training in combat and emergency medical care, you’re intelligent, you’re polite, you’re hardworking, and you have plenty of work experience and impressive credentials.
• So, he hires you. You help him with paperwork and speeches and meetings, grab him some energon when he needs it, and help him with his basic maintenance, and he gives you a handsome salary and all the energon, oil, and supplies that you could ever want.
• Really, he’s quite generous to you. At first he thinks it’s because you’re just this young, sweet thing who he wants to make sure has a good position and is well taken care of so they won’t leave, since you’ve taken quite the load off of him. You’re a life-saver.
• Of course, though, he’s very experienced, self-aware, and in tune with his own emotions, so he quickly realizes that it’s a little more than that... Ah, he’s developed a crush on you. Inconvenient and unethical, he thinks. He’s been very careful to treat you with kindness and make sure you’re compensated well for all your hard work- the last thing he’d ever want is to take advantage of you by abusing his position as your superior and getting into the berth with you.
• But it’s not just the physical parts of you that he wants. He wants to watch you read data tablets next to him at night in a shared home like you do when you’re going over documents for work, wants to share energon with you and wipe the drops that you always spill off of your face that you don’t notice. He wants to have conversations with you that aren’t about work, and have you touch him in contexts that don’t involve you using a medical pick to open up his panels and working on him after fights or for basic maintenance. 
• He wants to see what falling in love with you would be like, and if you would ever fall in love with him in return. You’re captivating.
• So, one day while he’s sitting on the throne in his quarters, you quietly by his side, working on some upgrades for his shoulder plates, he asks: “(y/n), how would you feel about sitting with me and splitting some flavored energon? I just had it imported from one of the finest energy reserves on Cybertron, but I’m afraid I have no one to share it with.”
• It’s obviously an attempt at asking you on a date, or so he thinks, but apparently not obvious enough, because you remain completely and utterly oblivious.
• “H-Huh? Sir, I couldn’t! I appreciate your offer, it’s very generous, but you already give me so much... I suggest you offer it to one of the members of the Elite Guard or sell it for profit.”
• “No, I want you to have it. Either we share some tonight after you’re done with your work, or I’ll send it home with you.”
• “O-Oh, okay... Then, um, yes, I’d love to share some with you.”
• And that’s your first date- or, what he hopes is a date, but you don’t know was intended to be a date, so not really actually a date. The two of you share a glass of sweet, spiced energon, passing it between the two of you and refueling as you chat. You seem tense at first, but relax and start talking more, and... Oh. You talk about how you’re really honored to be having energon with him, how much you admire him, how kind he is, etc., only for him to cut you off-
• “I feel the same way about you, my dear. You deserve the best treatment I have to offer.”
• You nearly explode. 
• And so, it becomes a regular occurrence. Ultra Magnus trying to find excuses to spend time with you, you melting into his advances, the two of you having a blast at the end of the night when your shift is over. There comes a time where your relationship kind of develops naturally. You continue going on these dates, you move into his quarters to “make work easier” after you propose it, and the two of you become friends rather than a boss and his assistant. Everyone starts to notice it, too, to the point where the council suggests he hires a new assistant to prevent all of the rumors going around.
• Only, Ultra Magnus doesn’t really give a shit about the council when it comes to their opinions on his personal relationships. In fact, that’s what drives him to confess his feelings for you, because as close as the two of you have gotten, you’re too sweet and too innocent to realize what his intentions are, and he’s afraid the council might pull something soon.
• So, one night while you’re on the rooftop of his home, watching the stars and sharing energon, he asks you directly; “(y/n), what are your feelings towards me?”
• “Oh, well that’s sudden, but... I think you’re amazing at your job and a kind, generous boss. The council really couldn’t have picked a better Magnus!”
• “No, I mean... Really. Personally.”
• “Oh,” You gulp and look away, blushing. “Did someone tell you?”
• Ultra Magnus blinks his optics, then laughs at you. You must’ve had feelings for him, he could tell by your face. 
• “No, my dear, no one has told me anything. You’re aware of the rumors that have come about, but what spurred me to ask was... Well, I’ve been enamored with you since I hired you and you’ve always seemed rather oblivious to me.”
• “Wait, what!?”
• The two of you talk and, unsurprisingly, you’d had feelings for him the entire time and were too afraid to say anything just like how he had had feelings for you and was too afraid to say anything. He tells you the truth in depth, and both of you are flooded with relief, kissing on the rooftop and sharing the taste of energon between your lips- because, despite the stress of your jobs, having each other makes everything feel easy, if only for a little bit.

Chapter Text

• Sentinel immediately likes you, embarrassingly enough. He hadn’t actually met you before coming to earth to collect the All Spark, but he finds that you’re a lot like him; feisty, argumentative, strong, never afraid to speak your mind...
• Only, that means that once you two actually interact, you raise all hell with him. The second he insults Optimus or any of your other team mates, you’re on his ass, lecturing him about how rude and disrespectful he is towards these bots who have done nothing but try to help the Autobot cause even though it wasn’t really their job in the first place. 
• He pretends to hate you and argues back to keep up his front, but he really could never bring himself to. Long nights are spent awake thinking about you instead of recharging, and any time he sees you, he argues with you like you do with him but honestly regrets that this is how your relationship has started, full of animosity and bitterness when all he really wanted was for you to like him.
• Honestly, though, it was karma. Through your arguing with him, he realizes that he really had done a lot of wrong to Team Prime, and he didn’t deserve your affections. However, he found it weird, because when the rest of Team Prime wasn’t around, there almost seemed to be a calmness between the two of you. You’re stern and willing to correct him, yes, but you also don’t seem to dislike him, simply enjoying his company and having casual conversations with him. 
• One day, the two of you are assigned by Ultra Magnus to patrol the city of Detroit together; Starscream still has an All Spark fragment in his head and Ultra Magnus wants someone to rip it out, as dirty of a job as that was. Sentinel would’ve rather been paired with Jazz, who he was comfortable ordering around, but when he tried to tell you what to do, you weren’t having any of it, because when were you ever? You only snapped at him and told him that you had more experience on earth and more experience with Starscream, so obviously, you were in charge here, not him. He didn’t accept your argument but also didn’t continue arguing, so really, neither of you won that one.
• It’s a cool, peaceful fall night- or at least you think it is, until it starts to rain. Sentinel is immediately freaked out and demands to know if it’s corrosive to his armor and his circuits, but you reassure him (surprisingly, without making fun of him) that it’s just rain, harmless water that falls from the sky sometimes. He trusts you enough that he calms down a bit, but he still finds himself nervous and shaky at the unfamiliar feeling, so you end up rushing to get him back to your base, and as terrible as the rundown place is, he lets you take him there.
• He doesn’t question why he’s dried off with a towel and wrapped in blankets, then sat down on the couch. Some of the water got in his vents and made him all crackly and staticky, and he knew he had to wait for that to go away naturally, but it wasn’t something his body was at all used to and he needed to recharge. So, when you sat down next to him on the couch, he was lights out, head in your lap and shivering body covered in warm blankets.
• Sentinel wakes up a few hours later to the sound of chatter, but doesn’t move or open his eyes, not wanting to get up from your lap or acknowledge to you or anyone else that he was even there in the first place. 
• “If I didn’t know any better, (y/n), I’d say you’ve gone and let this grumpy elitist steal your spark,” The voice came from the medic, and Sentinel immediately froze, hoping you couldn’t feel it. Sure, he’d had a bit of a crush on you (a huge crush on you) for a while, but for you to return it? And for others to be commenting on it? 
• “So what if he has?” You ask as if it’s something easy and run a gentle servo over the top of his helm, then his audials- you probably think he’s still recharging.
• “Then you have my condolences,” Optimus’s voice rang through the room, and honestly, that stung a bit. Sentinel had no room to talk and he knew it, but even with all the hurt he’d caused, the comment hurt his feelings. Out of all of the mechs who’d say something like that, he’d never expected Optimus, though he really should’ve considering all he’d done to the younger bot. 
• “Hey,” You speak, with the same scolding tone that you’d use to chew out Sentinel, but quieter, probably to avoid waking him. “I know he’s not perfect, but you’re above insulting him like he’s insulted you. He’s going through it, too, and it really isn’t right to talk about him like that while he’s asleep and can’t even hear us- at least he says everything to your face instead of going behind your back while you’re recharging. Plus, he’s not feeling too well right now, the last thing he needs is to wake up to this...”
• “Fine, fine,” Optimus relents with a nervous laugh. “But I wish you the best of luck. You’ll need it with him.” 
• Optimus and Ratchet leave, which he knows by the sound of their footsteps, and he falls into recharge again. 
• When he wakes up, he sees that he’s in an unfamiliar berth in an unfamiliar room; (f/c) covers, glow stars on the wall and on the ceiling, a nice smell in the dark room. Then he looks over and sees you at your desk, working on something, and figures this must be your room.
• “(y/n)?”
• “Sentinel?” You turn around to face him in your seat as he throws the covers off of himself and swings his legs over the edge of the berth to sit up. “Sorry I brought you in here without telling you. I figured you needed the rest, but your condition wasn’t severe enough to need the med bay and Jazz wasn’t back from patrol yet to take you back to your quarters on the Elite Guard ship.”
• “It’s uh, it’s fine,” He reassures you, but can’t help thinking back to the talk he heard you having with Optimus earlier. It was nice to know that he wasn’t the only one you chewed out on a regular basis. 
• “If it’s fine, you probably need some rest. Ratchet was saying earlier that you felt like you had a temperature- probably from the rain.”
• “Ugh, fragging human weather... Of course it’d make me sick.”
• “It’s just something you have to adjust to. It made all of us sick when we first came to earth as well.”
• After that, it fell silent for a bit, at least until Sentinel stands up and walks over to your desk to stand by where you’re sitting, speaking again.
• “T-Thank you, for defending me earlier.”
• Immediately, you turn your head so fast he’s surprised you don’t break neck cables, optics wide and face burning red. 
• “How much of that did you hear?”
• “Enough,” He answers and looks away. “Or at least enough to know that I’ve potentially stolen your spark.”
• “Ugh, do you have to phrase it like that? So embarrassing!” You laugh, clearly flustered.
• “If it makes you feel any better, I think the only reason I stole yours was to replace the one you stole from me.”
• The both of you sit there, staring at each other with blown optics until you stand up, grab him by the collar, and pull him in for a heated kiss.

Chapter Text

• Swindle is by far the most charming, functioning bot in the series when it comes to flirting/wooing and no one can convince me otherwise. The second he sees you doing some maintenance work on Megatron, he knows he wants you and decides that he’s going to have you however he can.
• You’re technically Megatron’s employee, a cute little medic minibot, but with enough weapon offerings, Swindle can get whatever he wants and bargains to trade you and your services for some of his most expensive weaponry. 
• You’re just standing there the whole time, but surprisingly, you don’t seem too bothered by what Swindle is doing and instantly move to stand by the broker’s side the second Megatron agrees to the deal.
• When the two of you are walking out, Swindle disappointed that he lost so many goods (and planning to steal them back later and frame the Autobots for it) but also excited at the prospect of having a creature as beautiful as you as his personal medic, he asks if you’re actually okay with this and offers to double your salary.
• “It’s a lot to process, but Megatron has the personality of a wet paper towel, as loyal as I am to his cause. This is more of a relief than anything.”
• Oh. So it’s like that. Turns out, like Swindle, you don’t really like or love Megatron outside of the fact that he gives you money and shares your beliefs. So, the two of you pass time by ragging on Megatron for fun. You end up accompanying Swindle a lot in his travels by choice and since your job was to take care of him if he got injured (something that actually happened surprisingly often). You work well together and are constantly bouncing jokes off of each other, sharing energon, committing heists and deals and all sorts of other illegal fun by each other’s side.
• It’s a really quick, easy friendship. Swindle’s obviously simping this whole time but wants to get to know you in full before making any moves. He loves spending time with you, late nights with sparks racing at the excitement from your dangerous lives. It’s a lot better with you by his side, less lonely, and easier to just... Exist. When he went on a venture to somewhere cold, you didn’t mind cuddling with him. When he got banged up, he wasn’t forced to lay alone and makeshift-fix himself until he found the next Cybertronian to repair him. When he wanted someone to talk to, you were there- and he did those same things for you, too. It seems like, even in a platonic sense, you’re both everything the other needed before the two of you met.
• You’re a thrill seeker like he is, not afraid to get in trouble. He finds it admirable that you’re so tough regardless of your tiny, petite stature, and you’re a lot of fun. 
• One night, you two are smoking some organic herb that he paid an obscene amount of money for (usually he was good about saving his money, but anything for you), laying on a soft, grassy field on the alien planet that you two traveled to for your most recent deal when you ask, “Why’d you insist on picking me up that day? I thought you were in need of a medic at first, but you hardly get injured, and the damage I’ve fixed on you so far has been minor scuffs and dents that you can self-repair.”
• “I didn’t need a medic,” He turns and looks at you, burning the blunt out on the back of a metal box he’d brought full of your most recent products with a smirk on his face. “I wanted a companion, sugar. You had me enthralled the nanoklik I saw you. Are you in, or are you out?”
• You two are very natural but also very intense, communicating effortlessly, and the second he says those words, you’re rolling over to lay on top of him and slam your lips against his. It’s a hard, long kiss, and when you pull away and say “I’m in,”, Sentinel is lifting you up effortlessly and standing on the grass, twirling you around in his arms.
• “It seems like we have a deal, then.”

Chapter Text

• As has been established in the other parts of this, you and Megatron are both the least lucky people in the entire world. Neither of you can catch a break nor any privacy, so you come to the unfortunate realization that dates outside of incredibly secluded places are off limits for safety reasons until either the Autobots and Decepticons come to a peaceful compromise or one of the sides conquers the other.
• Most of the time, this leads to you going out to incredibly rural areas in his jet mode to hang out or waiting until everyone else is recharging to sneak each other into your berthrooms at your respective bases. You’ll hang out, sip on some energon/oil, cuddle, sometimes sleep, and the other will leave before anyone on your base wakes up from recharge. 
• Only, one day, you don’t. You sneak Megatron into the base a little after everyone else has hit the hay and take him to your berthroom, but it proves to be a mistake. The both of you had long days and pass out without setting alarms, so you just... Sleep until morning. And then until the afternoon.
• Usually, you’re an early riser, so all of the Autobots are concerned when it hits twelve and you aren’t out of your room. Bumblebee and Bulkhead are preoccupied taking Sari shopping for back to school clothes, Optimus is too awkward to go into your room or bother you, and Prowl figures you’re just catching up on rest, but Ratchet knows... Something’s going on. He’d ran into you and Megatron that one time and had since been incredibly concerned for you.
• Yes, it was young love, and he knew that if he tried to keep you from Megatron, he’d push you further in the opposite direction. So, all he could do was support you the best he could and offer advice when you asked for it, but the thing was that you didn’t. You acted like Ratchet had never seen anything and wouldn’t confide in him or any of the others about your relationship, and Ratchet never told anyone because he respected your privacy. Plus, it seemed like you were still loyal to the Autobots, and he knew that this sort of thing was bound to happen. After all, he knew that Optimus and Bumblebee weren’t necessarily innocent either in that regard...
• But you were always back by five in the morning when you went out with Megatron and were sure to let Ratchet know when you returned so he wouldn’t worry about you when you went out. He was under the assumption that you always went other places with Megatron, never brought him back to base, because why would you?
• But when he knocks on your door and receives no answer, he’s seriously worried that you might’ve gotten caught up in something with the Decepticons and been captured, rendered unable to return in the morning like you always did.
• Thankfully, your door is unlocked, so he opens it and- OH. 
• Megatron is laying on your berth with you on top of him, holding you in his arms. You look peacefully asleep, and Megatron looks the least threatening that Ratchet has ever seen him look. The medic doesn’t even know what to do.
• TBH, he just shuts the door. You need your rest and Ratchet is cool. For the most part, his attention is on keeping the rest of the team away from the base for the whole day, claiming that he has “an important project to finish” and that he doesn’t “need any of you brats distracting me”. 
• Eventually, you wake up, and Ratchet assumes that Megatron is gone. It’s THEN that he teases you, while everyone is away.
• “You have a good nap with that con, kiddo?”
• Your faceplates flush bright red in seconds. You’re mortified, but Ratchet only laughs and pats you on the back.
• “Hey, I don’t care if you do that as long as no one else finds out, but start keeping your door locked or you’re asking for trouble.”
• You only nod and run off. After you tell Megatron about it, the two of you decide that it’s best to just do things on the Decepticon base for a while.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Assistant/clerk
• Ratchet: Medical (so basically the same, but for humans)
• Bumblebee: Transportation/taxi
• Bulkhead: Repairman
• Prowl: Yoga instructor
• Sentinel Prime: News anchor
• Ultra Magnus: Political figure (assistant/speech writer for a politician, specifically)
• Blurr: Racer
• Jazz: Musician
• Arcee: Teacher/tutor
• Megatron: Battle bot
• Starscream: Airplane/flight
• Blitzwing: Chef
• Lugnut: Demolition
• Shockwave: Lab assistant
• Soundwave: Lyricist/author
• Blackarachnia: Animal caretaker 
• Swindle: Bank clerk
• Lockdown: Police bot 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: White
• Ratchet: Scarlet
• Prowl: Black
• Bumblebee: Yellow-orange
• Bulkhead: Mahogany 
• Ultra Magnus: Dark/ocean blue
• Sentinel Prime: Gold
• Jazz: Platinum
• Blurr: Silver
• Arcee: Rose gold
• Megatron: Crimson
• Starscream: Gunmetal grey
• Blitzwing: Ice blue
• Lugnut: Forest green
• Lockdown: Bronze
• Swindle: Royal purple
• Blackarachnia: Lilac
• Shockwave: Electric blue
• Soundwave: Aquamarine

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He doesn’t know who the sparkling is or where they came from but he’s very good with sparklings (a skill that he refuses to acknowledge bc he thinks he’s bad at everything) and insists on taking care of them. He gets overly attached instantly and tries his best to find who their caretakers are supposed to be with no luck, but refuses to expose them to the Elite Guard and Ultra Magnus/Sentinel Prime for as long as he can. He wants them to have a normal sparklinghood and grow up peacefully without worrying about war, blame, and offlining like he did. Even if they’re a bit feral and chaotic, he enjoys taking care of them and just wants to keep them safe.
• Prowl: He finds the sparkling and sees it as a weird sort of opportunity to give back. Yoketron always took care of him, his team has given him a lot, and he’s always been a bit selfish. Maybe this was his opportunity to do something nice and take care of someone else. So, he’s a bit withdrawn, but he connects with the sparkling the best and is like... Immediately smitten. Holds them when they’re still a baby a lot, lets them sleep on his chest etc. Spoils them but won’t admit it and wants to include them in all his hobbies. When they get older and start doing their own thing, his feelings are kinda hurt but he’ll never admit it LMAO.
• Ratchet: He’s so fuckin’ old. When the team finds the sparkling, he’s like UGH because he knows they’re all very young and very inexperienced and have absolutely no experience taking care of sparklings. So, by default, because the rest of his team is filled with disasters who are still like sparklings themselves (minus Prowl), he ends up taking care of the sparkling’s needs; fueling, recharging, etc. At first he’s mostly concerned with keeping them alive, but then he goes and gets attached and whoops, he has a kid. Very proud dad who wants to see them grow up peacefully. Will offer them the best advice and the best energon treats that he possibly can.
• Bulkhead: No experience with sparklings before this, but everyone else is busier than him so he ends up taking care of the sparkling and is naturally good at it. Keeps them on a regular fueling schedule, nap schedule, and is surprisingly organized when it comes to their care. Spends a lot of time reading them data tablets and doing crafts with them, so they grow up to be a creative, artsy type not at all interested in battle or even repair work like Bulkhead is. He’s a great caretaker and is always there to encourage his sparkling to communicate openly and ask him for whatever they need- definition of the “call me if you ever need me, you won’t be in trouble, I just want you to be safe” kind of parent. 
• Bumblebee: Has no idea what to do with them at first LMAO. Optimus and Ratchet don’t really think he’s suited to take care of a sparkling, but Bumblebee is the only one who can make the sparkling stop crying and the only one who makes the sparkling smile, so naturally, he ends up taking care of them the most and it just makes him feel... Warm and fuzzy and special, that this little sparkling has chosen him to be their caretaker. He spoils them and is a little too lenient with them, so they grow up a chaotic, out of control little thing, but they have a good spark and he loves them regardless. 
• Ultra Magnus: He ends up with the sparkling because Team Prime finds them while he just so happens to be on earth and they have no idea what to do with them, so they end up being brought to the Elite Guard ship. He doesn’t know where they’ve come from, why they’re there, and whether or not they’re originated from a protoform that the Decepticons stole from the Autobots so long ago. He doesn’t trust too many others around him to care for the sparkling and ends up doing it himself.
• Jazz: Loves sparklings, is great with them, but hasn’t seen them very often since the Autobot protoforms were mostly stolen and Cybertronians didn’t reproduce naturally very much anymore. He enjoys the opportunity to nurture and watch the sparkling grow, both because he genuinely cares for them and is fascinated by nature/growth in beings. A good, medium parent- not too strict but not too lenient. They’re raised to be a free thinker who loves music and is talented and confident in whatever they choose to do.
• Sentinel Prime: Is openly very attached and spoils them from the start. He isn’t great with sparklings at all and parenting is a learning curve, but he figures it out. He’s always training his sparkling, bragging about them and showing off pictures at every twist and turn- “my sparkling is better than yours!” type shit. Acts like he’s a firm, stern parent, but they actually walk all over him.
• Megatron: Not suited to raise a sparkling at all but the other Decepticons find them and he somehow ends up with them, so why not? They’re probably going to be a seeker who could be useful later. But he loves them from the very start. He’s raising them, they’re his, and they’re someone who he can trust who trusts him as well. In raising the sparkling, there’s no war or strategy involved. Just a caretaker and their sparkling. Spending time with his sparkling provides him a lot of relief in his hectic life and he’s sure to provide them with anything they could ever want.
• Starscream: He finds the sparkling and his first instinct is like OOH, time to scheme! He has this whole plan of raising the sparkling as his own and turning them against Megatron so he can have a partner in crime to help him overthrow the warlord, and he insists he isn’t attached or anything and is solely doing it for the scheme, but then the baby sparkling grabs one of his digits in its entire servo and smiles at him for the first time and he’s done for. The parent who is always saying yes to whatever his sparkling asks for, absolutely delighted by them, takes tons of pictures, etc.
• Blitzwing: I actually already talked about this in this post, so you can use it for reference! Don’t wanna rewrite what’s basically the same thing, lol.
• Lugnut: Definitely the kind of con to encourage this sparkling’s feral/chaotic energy. Raises an absolute rebellious hellion without meaning to- very fun, very lenient, encourages them to do their own thing but definitely tells them lots of stories about Lord Megatron and makes sure they’re loyal to him, at the very least. I imagine he likes to carry his sparkling on his shoulders/give them piggy back rides a lot. 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Iolite
• Ratchet: Pearl
• Prowl: Citrine
• Bumblebee: Golden beryl
• Bulkhead: Zircon
• Ultra Magnus: Sapphire
• Jazz: Diamond
• Blurr: Aquamarine
• Sentinel Prime: Topaz
• Arcee: Opal
• Megatron: Ruby
• Starscream: Onyx
• Lugnut: Emerald
• Blitzwing: Fire opal
• Shockwave: Amethyst
• Soundwave: Lapis lazuli
• Lockdown: Turquoise
• Swindle: Tanzanite 
• Blackarachnia: Garnet
• Wasp: Peridot

Chapter Text

• It’s been established in previous installments of this, but essentially, half of the Autobots are giant hypocrites- AKA everyone on your team except for Bulkhead, who’s single and wants to remain that way, and Ratchet, who’s been missing Arcee for light years. Prowl has something going on with Lockdown, unbeknownst to the rest of you, because unlike you and the others, he’s actually good at keeping his personal life a secret and doesn’t do dumb shit like interface in mid air or take his secret lover out to a public park in the same city where the rest of Team Prime is residing.
• Anywho.
• “Fraternizing with the other faction is bad!” the rest say to you as they hold hands with their hot Decepticon lover.
• The main, uh, proprietor of this is Optimus Prime. He’s given Bumblebee plenty of lectures about merely flirting with Blitzwing during battles whilst literally turning around and doing the same thing with Starscream, though no one knows about that except for you and Megatron because of what the two of you saw that night you tried to go on a date in the mech’s vehicle mode and ran into Starscream and Optimus kissing each other’s lip plates off midair, neither of them seeming to notice you.
• You also notice that the two coincidentally always end up fighting each other when you run into the Decepticons, and Starscream seems to be particularly chatty when Optimus is around, with Optimus always responding. They’re both always smirking and blushing and winking at each other and it’s painful to watch because you can’t say anything without also exposing yourself and why/how you’d seen them that night, but like... You KNOW. And it pisses you off. SO BAD. 
• TBH Optimus has this complex where he thinks everyone on his team aside from Ratchet and Prowl is weaker/more naive than him and he needs to protect them in a sense, so it’s understandable that he thinks he’s immune to any consequences that could come from fucking with Starscream, and that he thinks the Decepticons would be taking advantage of his teammates in any sort of relationship. Like, he has good intentions and is really just trying to protect y’all and you know that, but it’s still super frustrating that he’s being a bitch about it. 
• At this point, Ratchet knows about your relationship but hasn’t said anything, the rest know that you at least have a crush on Megatron because of how obvious you are, and Optimus just... Begrudgingly puts up with it and tries to ignore it. Overprotective dad, but he’s also scared of going too hard with his “don’t date a Decepticon” spiel and pushing you in the opposite direction that he wants you to go.
• You vent to Megatron about the issue a lot, but it doesn’t do much because Megatron’s usual response is something like “he’s just a bitch, don’t listen to him” which doesn’t help because Optimus is your leader and your friend and you can’t just burn that bridge with him like Megatron could. You explain that to your lover and he’s sympathetic about it, but still rolls his optics any time you mention Optimus going on one of his tangents about the matter.
• It all boils over when you and Megatron are on a date. You’re just at the park, enjoying yourself on a picnic blanket with some energon in the most secluded area you could find, only to hear-
• “(y/n)? What are you doing here!?” followed by a scratchy sounding “Shut up, you dolt, Megatron’s right there! You just gave us away!”
• Both you and Megatron turn around to see that Starscream and Optimus have emerged from the trees, servo in servo... They must’ve been on a walk together. All four of you are red cheeks and wide optics, caught, and of course, Optimus immediately starts lecturing you.
• “You’re seeing Megatron? He’s the enemy! I knew you had a crush, and you can’t help that, but this is ridiculous!”
• You can’t even bring yourself to say anything, but Megatron does it for you, simply sitting there and stammering over himself for a moment before finding the right words.
• “I- How- That’s...” Megatron trails off, raising a finger (imagine; “I don’t care that you broke your elbow!” guy pose) before allowing his optical ridge to furrow. “You’re the one giving free airshows with Starscream in the middle of the night!”
• Optimus loses all color in his face. Starscream bursts out laughing.
• As you can imagine, this ends in Megatron and Optimus beating the shit out of each other and you and Starscream having to stop the fight after sitting there and looking at each other awkwardly for a few moments.
• You drag Optimus home as Starscream does the same with Megatron, and you do have an actual, serious, open discussion about it.
• “Listen... I hate to say this, but Megatron was right, and I’m sorry. It’s not fair that I get to do what I want in my personal life and you don’t get to do what you want in yours. As long as it doesn’t interfere in our work... You can do what you want. I can tell that, as terrible as he is, he really does love you- I saw it in how he stood up for you back there.”
• All you can do is thank him and agree that if he doesn’t talk about your relationship with Megatron, you won’t talk about his with Starscream. You take him back to base and help Ratchet fix him up, then com Megatron to talk about everything that happened and thank him for taking up for you.
• “I’m always here whenever you need me, darling. There’s no need to thank me. I’m just glad the issue was resolved.”
• “I love you.”
• “I love you, too.”

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• You're sent with Team Prime to fix space bridges because, honestly, you're good at fixing just about anything- a lot like Bulkhead, but more generalized, so rather than specializing in just space bridges, you can help with those, the ship, any tech issues they’re having, weaponry, equipment, etc. The only thing you really can’t do is act as a medic/repairbot for the actual Cybertronians themselves because you’re squeamish and just don’t have the expertise for it yet.
• You’re arguably one of the most talented and useful on your team and are very appreciated because of it, even if you’re not the most outgoing. Team Prime is kind enough that they usually try their hardest to find ways of including you/talking to you, but they also leave you alone when you need it. They just enjoy having you around and all love you very much, at least in a platonic sense.
• But then Megatron attacks your ship and you end up on earth fighting Decepticons. It’s not what you signed up for, you hate it, and all you want is to go home, but you try to make the best of it. You’re not necessarily bad at fighting, but you hate having to do it since you don’t have any experience beyond required Autobot Academy training that you had to get to join Team Prime, so you’re usually in charge of evacuating the organics when something happens, who you quickly come to adore despite hating being on their planet instead of on Cybertron or back on your ship.
• In your spare time, you learn how to repair human machinery and build your own little shop on base to tinker in. Sometimes, Ratchet or Bulkhead will come in and show interest and help you. Everything is peaceful for a bit- at least until the Elite Guard comes.
• You’re immediately charmed by Jazz- he’s friendly, cool, and open-minded, someone who could fit into your group pretty easily. Ultra Magnus is fine, you suppose- boring and a bit stuck-up, but it kinda comes with the position. And then there’s Sentinel. 
• Your first thought is that he’s gorgeous. You’re close enough with Optimus to know the history, know that he’s terrible and that you should hate him, but when you look at him... Your face goes red, you clam up, and you can’t even talk to him despite him being decently rude to you.
• And honestly? It pisses him off. He hates it at first. Why aren’t you giving him the reactions he wants, snapping and yelling at him like everyone else or at least acting annoyed? Instead, you’re always staring at him with blushing cheeks and soft optics, wringing your hands together because you don’t know how to talk to him but obviously want to. As in, Sentinel isn’t stupid and it’s so apparent that you like him that he can just tell. It makes him secondhand embarrassed and cringy feeling and he hates to watch it, so usually he doesn’t, but as he sees you more... He finds that he can’t help it.
• Maybe part of him is flattered. He likes attention, he tells himself, that’s why he likes it!
• But then he starts actually paying attention to you. At the rare times you’re not looking at him, he’s looking at you- sometimes the two of you accidentally meet optics and you both end up snapping your helms to the side to avoid looking at each other. Everyone else notices it but doesn’t say anything aside from Jazz and Bumblebee, who tease the shit out of you both, but are relatively harmless. You never really respond, just getting quiet, but Sentinel always yells at them and tells them to stop because he’d “never have a crush on her!”.
• Only, he does have a crush on you now. You’re soft and kind, sweet and shy, pretty and charming- a lot different than the rest of your rough, boisterous, rude team, Sentinel thinks. It’s just a shame you aren’t in the Elite Guard like him and are currently stuck on earth, but that aside, he can’t help his attraction to you. He was under the impression that he’d hate someone like you for making things awkward and being unable to speak your mind, but you’re actually... Cute. And he feels quite protective over you.
• So anytime anything happens to you, i.e. Decepticon attack or argument, he’s up in arms and immediately wanting to take your place/do everything for you. Everyone notices it, including you, and you can’t help but thrive off of the attention from Sentinel. Oddly enough, you’re good at keeping him calm and kind of the one he just gravitates to whenever you’re in a room together. A weird sort of friendship and mutual attraction forms. 
• It comes to a point where you’re still shy around him, stuttering and blushing a bit, but you become more comfortable and talk to him quite a bit. He’s almost always there with an arm around your waist or over your shoulder, smiling or smirking at you and like... It’s genuinely painful for everyone to watch “can they just interface already?”.
• Though he won’t admit it, he’s very interested in your work and will linger around your shop, helping you when you ask him to hand you things or hold something in place. It’s fascinating what you do and how broad your skill range is, and he admires how talented you are. Plus, it’s an excuse to stare at you without you noticing.
• There’s something about him that you just love; the confidence, the boldness, the charm, the affection and attention he gives you and no one else. 
• You’re talking to Optimus one day, as he’s probably the Autobot you’re closest to, just... Gushing about Sentinel, talking about how you like him so much but are scared to say anything, as you usually do because Optimus is the only one you can really talk to about it. He’s very patient and doesn’t mind listening tbh, he’s been friends with Sentinel on and off for a very long time- he gets the appeal that the older mech has. 
• Only, Optimus leaves the room, and as soon as you leave, you see Sentinel out there waiting for you with a smirk on his face and his arms crossed.
• “So, you have a crush on me, eh?”
• “Y-You heard that!?”
• He nods, looking awfully smug.
• You’re embarrassed as hell and don’t know how to react, but Sentinel only laughs and wraps his arms around your waist pulling you into him.
• “Mind if I kiss you?”
• “S-Sure.”
• And with that, his lips are on yours.

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• Optimus Prime: Acoustic blues
• Prowl: Modern classical
• Ratchet: Folk music (give me a break, he’s an old man)
• Bumblebee: Dubstep
• Bulkhead: Alt rap
• Sentinel Prime: R&B
• Jazz: ...Self-named; Jazz
• Ultra Magnus: Opera
• Megatron: Pop rock
• Starscream: Electroswing
• Blitzwing: Speedcore
• Lugnut: Bluegrass
• Shockwave: Lo-fi
• Soundwave: Punk rock
• Lockdown: Heavy metal
• Swindle: Steampunk
• Blackarachnia: Pop punk

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• Sari: Moana
• Optimus Prime: Cinderella (and the sequels. his favorite character is the prince)
• Prowl: Bambi
• Ratchet: Peter Pan
• Bulkhead: Dumbo
• Bumblebee: Alice In Wonderland
• Arcee: Snow White
• Sentinel Prime: Sleeping Beauty
• Jazz: Princess And The Frog
• Ultra Magnus: Lady And The Tramp
• Blurr: Mary Poppins
• Megatron:  Robin Hood
• Lugnut: Finding Nemo
• Blitzwing: The Parent Trap
• Starscream: Lion King
• Shockwave: Lilo And Stitch
• Soundwave: Wall-E
• Blackarachnia: Beauty And The Beast
• Wasp: The Little Mermaid 
• Swindle: Toy Story (and the sequels. he cried at the third one)
• Lockdown: Mulan

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• Optimus Prime: He finds the holiday very... Terrifying. He’s jumpy and easily scared by things like spider decorations, horror movies, fake webs, and fake blood. His favorite part is helping Sari and the others with their costumes/making them because they all seem to enjoy it, but he himself isn’t a fan of Halloween and just wants it to pass.
• Ratchet: He’s neutral about the whole thing, but he finds that he likes taking Sari trick-or-treating- it’s nice to see her happy, and a bunch of kids think he’s just a very elaborate costume which is also hilarious. He pretends like he’s a hard-ass, but he has a soft spot for children.
• Prowl: A holiday about scaring people? Really? He thinks it sounds kind of stupid, but he does enjoy decorating his room and the rest of the base for it; he’s into that gothic, dark, Halloween aesthetic. 
• Bulkhead: The sweets! Of course, he can’t have human candy, but Ratchet or Optimus are sure to make energon sweet treats so everyone can be included and it’s one of the few times out of the year where he’s not drinking military or medical grade energon- AKA it tastes heavenly and he enjoys both eating the treats and sharing them with others.
• Bumblebee: The costumes! Making the costume is fun, dressing up with his friends is fun, getting treats for dressing up and scaring others around him is really fun... Just don’t tell him that you’re supposed to change it up every year, because he’s in love with the vampire costume and doesn’t wanna change it. 
• Arcee: Making energon candies for her friends and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters is fun for her because she likes interacting with children- that and, like Ratchet, they seem to think she’s part of a costume, which she finds really endearing because she gets lots of compliments on how cool her “costume” is. It’s also just nice to see/make everyone happy.
• Blurr: You’d never think this of a prestigious member of the Elite Guard, but Blurr’s favorite part of Halloween is joining up with Bumblebee and pranking (or ‘tricking) everyone who’s ever wronged them. Optimus made Bee get up to guard the house when they were on patrol at 2AM? Saran wrap on the door. Some human scuffed his vehicle mode on purpose? Toilet paper on their house. Some human teenagers egged the base or the ship for no good reason? Candy bags swiped before they can even see Blurr run.
• Jazz: As you’d expect, Jazz loves the concept of Halloween and loves seeing how it’s celebrated on earth, wants to bring it to Cybertron and have Ultra Magnus make it an official holiday (much to Sentinel’s displeasure). His favorite part is all of the Halloween music that varies so much in genre, it’s all very neat and he has an entire playlist of it that he plays in vehicle mode the entirety of October (and sometimes into late December until Christmas music takes over because he doesn’t GAF about Thanksgiving).
• Sentinel Prime: Pretends that he hates Halloween but actually likes it because it’s an excuse for him to get touchy LMAO. No one can convince me he isn’t touch-starved, and Halloween is the PERFECT opportunity for him to cuddle into someone he’s interested in during a scary movie or hold their hand while going through a haunted house- not because he’s scared, of course, but to make sure they’re okay!
• Ultra Magnus: He doesn’t like it at all but hey, his subordinates are in love with it and it’s nice to see them lighten up every once in a while instead of looking like they’re about to blow fuses from stress constantly, so that part is nice. The energon sweets are also nice- he keeps little bowls of them around his private quarters after stocking up and making Halloween an annual holiday on Cybertron.

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• I honestly don’t think gender is perceived on most of Cybertron like it is on earth. Mechs and femmes are more frame types than anything and can present however they want and no one really cares, just like how two mechs or two femmes can bond and no one really cares, or how a Cybertronian can neither identify with the mech or femme label and again, no one really cares. The only ones who are super staunch about gender roles and presentation are old washouts like the Autobot Council that no one cares about anymore or the occasional oddball.
• There are some areas on Cybertron away from the main city where ideals are less accepting; lowly populated areas with not much diversity where no one really understands that kind of thing because it just isn’t common. 
• Sentinel Prime, unfortunately, comes from one of those. He’s one of the last naturally produced sparklings before the use of protoforms becomes most common, born as a femme to a working class family, his carrier and sire being a traditional mech and femme model who work in the mines. 
• He grows up confused and angry that he doesn’t fit into a traditional femme role like a teacher bot, medic, sparkling caretaker, etc- he doesn’t want to do any of that. Instead, he wants to join the Autobot Academy in the big city and become a member of the Elite Guard to help the war effort. His family is worried and a bit disappointed, which stings, but they try to support him.
• When he’s a bit older, he finds that his thin, wiry femme frame isn’t working for him. He feels out of place in his body and doesn’t like it at all; the big feminine optics, narrow waist, slightly jutted out chest, small and round shoulders, soft looking thighs and plump lip plates. It all just feels... Very wrong. He sees his sire and wants to be more like him, a large cyan and orange mech with a tall, strong, burly body. 
• Being labeled a femme just doesn’t feel right. Anyone who mentions it, he finds that he avoids them, and it just puts a sour taste in his mouth but he can’t quite figure it out. By the time he’s a full on adult, he’s picked up enough part time jobs to save up the money for both a move to the city AND a ton of upgrades/body modifications.
• He goes to the city and applies for the Elite Guard under a new name, but not before getting all of the stuff that he wants done done. Height boosts, frame amplifiers, weapons and shields, he gets his energy lance built, chest expansions, shoulder expansions, face plate changes- all the stuff he wants to become the mech that he is today.
• And when he looks at himself after, he knows that his sire and carrier are going to be pissed if they ever see him again. They always bragged about their small, dainty, pretty Sentia who was so smart that she could be a school teacher or so strong that she could be a domestic service bot, or maybe work in charity or something of the sort, and now, he was tall and handsome and everything he wanted to be.
• He didn’t think much about the name change. Sentia was a feminine name given to femmes derived from a goddess of sparkling development, and he wanted something that sounded cooler, rougher, more fitting for the Elite Guard, so he goes with Sentinel. 
• On the paperwork for the Elite Guard, he notices that it asks not “what frame are you?” but “what frame type do you identify as?” with the options mech, femme, neither, other, or choose not to answer. He goes with the last one without putting much thought into it, not wanting to confront the uncomfortable issue. 
• Most people mistake him for a mech, and he can never bring himself to correct them. He makes friends quickly with Optimus and Elita, Optimus being a goody-two-peds from the city who Sentinel could drag into his shenanigans and Elita having a similar background to Sentinel where she grew up in some bumfuck town in the middle of nowhere with everyone having the same ideals and joined the Autobot Academy in hopes of escaping her past. 
• He’s talking to Optimus one day about their childhoods- just reminiscing, sharing memories, talking about their families and whatnot. Optimus was apparently a protoform infused with a donor’s D.N.A,  raised in the city by an assigned familial unit- two femmes who were kind and peaceful, put him through school in his childhood, took care of him and never judged him for anything. They sounded nicer than Sentinel’s own family.
• He’s recently contacted his own sire and carrier, who are currently upset at him for having changed his body (they saw it on a video call) and choosing a job “more suited for a mech” instead of becoming a teacher or a caretaker like they’d wanted him to. It’s upsetting that they loved and adored him his whole childhood when he looked like a femme and presented as one to appease them, but now that he’s comfortable and finally growing into himself, they seem like they don’t love him as much anymore and even resent him to a point. He tells Optimus about it and, unsurprisingly, this is the first time Optimus is even realizing that he had been born in a femme frame. They talk more on the subject- on how Sentinel never felt comfortable with it, hated his body growing up, changed it as soon as possible, preferred being mistaken for a mech than called a femme, etc. Finally, Optimus comes out with;
• “Is it possible... That you don’t identify that way?”
• “What’s that supposed to mean?”
• “You know, like transgender? It’s fully possible that you were just born in a frame that you don’t identify with. If presenting as a mech is more comfortable for you, it might be something to consider- not that I’m pushing it onto you or anything, I just... Thought it could be helpful, since we were talking about it already. It happens all the time, though given the description you’ve provided about where you come from, I understand if that’s not something you’ve seen a lot.”
• Oh. Yeah. Sentinel supposes that makes sense, actually, and it’s almost like everything clicks. All the turmoil and issues he’s been having since he was little regarding his gender, frame, body, and the gender stereotyping issues with his family all come together in one big clusterfuck and he realizes that he’s a lot more comfortable identifying as a mech than as a femme, and yeah, he’s a mech, not a femme, regardless of whatever frame he was born in. 
• “Oh... Wait. You’re telling me that I can just-”
• “Yeah, you can.”
• The idea scares him a bit at first. His parents are already starting to hate him- will everyone else start to hate him, too? No... Most people think he’s a mech, anyway. 
• “And no one will judge me for it?”
• “I doubt it,” Optimus smiles and places a servo on his shoulder. “But if they do, I’ll send them to the Well Of Allsparks myself, pal.”
• It gives him the confidence he needs to go through with it all; legal name change, the rest of the frame changes he feels like he needs, making sure people refer to him by the name he’s chosen and he/him pronouns. It’s scary, but it’s empowering, too, and it makes him feel a lot more comfortable when looking at himself in the mirror or sleeping at night. 
• He tells Elita, too, and it’s a bit of an adjustment for her since it’s not something she’s familiar with either, but she loves and accepts him just the same as she should- they’re friends, they love each other, and like Optimus, she’s there to support him however she can. 
• Overall, wholesome 10/10 and Sentinel has great, supportive friends to help him along the way (:

Chapter Text

• Prowl expected to be a lonely, solitary soul for the rest of his life, but he ends up becoming a parent when he finds this little sparking in a pod that’s crashed on earth, all on its own. 
• Ratchet is grumpy and doesn’t want anything to do with the main care of the sparkling (except for medical care and the basics of making sure it’s alive, of course), Optimus is too busy leading Team Prime and too neglectful of himself to even consider caring for someone else, and Bumblebee and Bulkhead are disasters who are almost still like sparklings themselves, so naturally, Prowl is the default to take care of this little bundle of joy.
• The sparkling is similar to Prowl in some ways growing up; calm temperament, a bit selfish and self-involved, but also hard working and intelligent. The only thing that they have that isn’t from Prowl is a terrible sense for mischief/getting themselves into trouble.
• They like going on Prowl’s nature docks a lot, but also like running off and fucking with random wildlife- chameleons especially are a big hit, for some reason. 
• They get older, Prowl starts training them, just as you’d expect. Only... Most bots have special, built in upgrades or abilities or weapons- something that makes them special. The sparkling, who they’ve simply named Cage, doesn’t have anything well into new-spark-hood and it’s really quite odd. 
• All of them are thinking it- that is until one day during a Decepticon attack where they’re trying to capture Cage, he’s nowhere to be found, and the Autobots manage to scare them off, only for their little newspark to suddenly appear in front of a tree. Prowl sees that their color, gold, silver, and red, is fading in and out to brown to match the bark, and then back to their natural coloring. And so it seems that, out of fear, they discovered an ability to camouflage, which would later be proved to be both very useful and very dangerous.
• At first, after the whole ‘power should be used responsibly’ lecture, Cage only uses their camouflaging ability during battles and tactile situations where it’s needed.
• But then Bumblebee comes along and, as always, is a HORRIBLE influence.
• “Whaaat? You have an ability that cool and don’t ever use it for anything else? C’mon, man, let me show you how it’s done!”
• Well. That ends in Cage learning how to use their abilities for, uh, EVERYTHING, as well as practicing them enough that they figure out the invisibility aspect of their camouflage powers, too. They’re hiding when Prowl is mad at them for something, scaring people, moving stuff without being noticed, etcetera. It’s pretty funny to them and Bumblebee but everyone else is super agitated about it- or at least tries to be.
• Honestly, Prowl loves his little sparkling too much to be... Genuinely mad. Acts like he’s a stern parent to the outside world but is actually a big ol softy who just wants his kid to love him. They probably bond a lot over the newfound ability- even the not-so-ethical uses of it- and use it in training a lot, and more often than not, it proves to be beneficial.

Chapter Text

• Jazz loves humans, and I mean LOVES humans. After the slight, initial fear, he finds that they’re very neat; all different optic colors, hair, skin instead of painted metal, a lot warmer, no ability to transform, tiny, and super fragile, but with similar personalities and languages to Cybertronians. 
• But unfortunately, like he had feared the humans at first, many of them feared him as well as the other Autobots. It was no doubt caused by the fact that he was not only a giant compared to them, but also by the fact that due to the war between Decepticons and Autobots being partially brought to earth, there had been a lot of damage and chaos caused by Cybertronians that humans had the right to be afraid of.
• So it wasn’t uncommon for Jazz to try and interact with humans, only to have them run away or tell him off. Sari was nice enough, but she was also very little and very busy with other things. He struggled to connect with Ultra Magnus, had issues with Sentinel despite his best efforts, and neither Ratchet nor Optimus were too interested in him, but he’d befriended Bumblebee and Prowl. Bumblebee tried to get him interested in videogames, but it wasn’t really his thing, and while he enjoyed Prowl’s nature walks and yoga, he couldn’t get over his desire to interact with actual humans.
• But then he talks to you. You’re kind of in and out of Team Prime’s life, as you’re some scientist doing research on aliens that Optimus has allowed to study them, so you show up every few days and hang around, doing your usual stuff.
• Jazz approaches you, and surprisingly, you don’t seem scared at all. You don’t step away, flinch back, ask him to move, or awkwardly exit the conversation. Instead, you look up and meet his optics, then confidently introduce yourself and strike up a casual conversation. 
• Oh, wow. Jazz finds that he’s immediately entranced by you, fearless and with (e/c) eyes, soft (s/c) skin, and (h/l) (h/c) hair. You’re really pretty and just as interested in him as he is in you. Not only are you a researcher with an amazing mind, but you also turn out to be funny, brilliant, brave, and bold (AKA you piss Sentinel Prime off to no end, which is a quality about you that he immediately adores).
• You guys engage in a lot of the earth hobbies he’s learned like playing videogames, reading books, watching movies and television, doing yoga, and going on nature walks. You also often ride in his vehicle mode and go different places with him, which is nice. Sometimes you’ll take notes and compare his vehicle mode to those on earth, and sometimes you’ll just enjoy yourself. 
• One day you come up to him and go;
• “Hey, Jazzberry, how are ya?”
• Jazzberry. He knows it’s a nickname since it’s so common on earth and feels his spark literally MELT in his chamber. You gave him a nickname! That means you’re close friends! Cute!
• “I’m great,” He tries to answer casually and play off how flattered he is. “How about you, (n/n)?”
• And, he gives you a nickname back.
• You two start hanging out even more and end up dating, of course. You call him Jazzberry and he probably calls you some sort of fruit or sweets related nickname (think ‘peaches’, ‘honey’, etc). 
• Not sure how to end this, but yeah! There’s some short, sweet Jazz headcanons. Been meaning to do some for a while. Hope you enjoyed <3

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"Realistic" Headcanon: He drinks the energon equivalent to coffee in amounts that are less than healthy for any functioning Cybertronian, but doesn’t tell anyone.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Any clients he gets that he doesn’t like, he will purposefully fuck up on at least one thing on their frame to inconvenience them. I.e., he has to perform a life-saving operation on Sentinel Prime and does a fantastic job, but slightly loosens one of the joints on a couple of Sentinel’s digits so they fall off every once in a blue moon.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: He purposefully stays up late, drinks aforementioned caffeine-like-energon, and avoids recharging to also avoid the trauma-induced nightmares he has.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: Him and Arcee are married UwU

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"Realistic" Headcanon: When he recharges, he crashes really hard because of all of the energy he expends throughout the day. Also has to consume a lot more energon to fuel his speed.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Recharges like a person in a coffin with the straight-as-a-board posture,  flat on his back with arms and servos folded over his chest. Bots have gone to wake him up and made the mistake of assuming he’s gone offline because of how he recharges.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: He’s developed severe claustrophobia after the incident with Shockwave and can’t handle being in dark, confined spaces. Often has panic attacks and flashbacks because of it.  

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: He wasn’t actually turned into a cube and that was all just a messed up fever dream ;o;

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"Realistic" Headcanon: Blitzwing is asexual. I actually believe this is common in a lot of the transformers characters, but yeah! 

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Hothead can get spiteful towards Icy and Random sometimes and eats whatever the energon equivalent to hot chips is, then does something that will trigger another switch so one of the other two will have to suffer the consequences and the burning mouths, as both of them hate spicy things (Icy likes salty and bitter, Hothead likes spicy and savory, Random likes sweet and sour).

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: He frequently feels guilty for switching from Icy when it inconveniences others and considers Icy the ‘superior’ personality in all three minds. Will frequently lament and hate himself for it, but never says anything out loud. Deep insecurity of his.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: Blitzwing and Lugnut are actually really good friends, even outside of their jobs/loyalty to Megatron and whatnot, and they’ll have lots of conversations about deeper subjects at night when they’re supposed to be sleeping. They’re both great supporters of each other’s mental health, dreams, and aspirations.

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"Realistic" Headcanon: Spits lubricant on the ground but in that really gross way that either manly men or little boys do where they make an obnoxious coughing noise beforehand and try to see how far they can make it fly.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Weirdly specific about how he takes steps. Won’t step on cracks and wants to make sure they’re “even”.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: Very strict about rules and regulations in public because of how traumatized he is from what happened to Elita One, which only happened because he, Elita, and Optimus all broke rules that the Elite Guard had in place to keep them safe. 

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: After the show, Sentinel actually becomes a decent advisor for the newly appointed Optimus Magnus and comes up with a lot of their military strategies. Apologizes to Optimus for everything, they make amends, and they become friends again with the animosity they had leaving their friendship naturally.

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"Realistic" Headcanon: He can’t handle anything that’s super spicy or sour. Has a bland palette and doesn’t really like anything interesting, different, or unique in terms of flavored energon. 

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Chews the shit out of the ends of his pens but criticizes other people who do it and says it’s gross.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: Sentinel Prime pretends that he has a healthy, pure sort of lifestyle where he doesn’t intake ‘slag’ because he loves his body, but he has a very deep sort of self-hatred that makes him mask his feelings and drown his depression in cheap drinking oil. Goes to bars on the outskirts of Cybertron and drinks until he’s told by the barkeep that he can’t have anymore or does it in the confines of his home and won’t tell anyone where he’s at or what he’s doing.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: That scene where he called Prowl ‘powow’ in the S4 script reading because he forgot his name never happened.

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"Realistic" Headcanon: Sentinel Prime sleeps curled up on his side, probably cuddling a pillow and pretending it’s another mech, but if anyone sees or accuses him of such, he insists they’re wrong and making things up.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Sentinel’s the kind of guy to clock into work a few minutes early and clock out a few minutes late for the extra pay. If anyone asks, he gets extremely defensive about it.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: Sentinel’s general aggression and upset towards Optimus as well as his insults and constant blame about the incident with Elita One are just projection. He feels like it’s his own fault and that he’s extremely in the wrong, but can’t turn back from what he’s done and is so embarrassed by the whole thing that he can’t let his pride go to apologize and own up to his mistakes. He feels guilty about it quite frequently and will even have nightmares about it.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: Sentinel Prime enjoys the Cybertronian equivalent of hot chocolate and marshmallows and wears soft winter gear like audial muffs and scarves.

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• Megatron is a mech who's very particular about everything in his life, whether that be battle plans, relationships, the way his room is arranged, energon, oil, whatever. He’s very caring and attentive to detail. 
• So, after the events as seen in my oneshot ‘The Announcement’ (which is canon to this series) where the Autobots and Decepticons come to a peace and Megatron and Optimus share equal rule over Cybertron together, when the two of you conceive a sparkling by accident, he’s pretty worried about making sure that everything is ‘right’.
• Like, you two have been through a lot together; a war, being in opposite factions, a secret relationship, people detesting you being together, arguments, strife, etc. Now that you’re happy and have a chance of having a somewhat normal, good life with an equally as good family unit, he wants to make sure everything is as perfect as it can be.
• He doesn’t want you doing literally anything, the moment he finds out. You’re working with Ratchet at the biggest hospital in the city, and you’re usually incredibly busy, so when you refuse to let go of your job he’s just a little bit peeved.
• “My love, it’s imperative for you to be resting right now. I understand how passionate you are about your work, but please, take a break for me?”
• “I know, but Ratchet’s not getting any younger, dear. I’ll try to settle down and take breaks when I can, but you also have to understand how important my job is.”
• Okay, sure, fine. You’ve come to a compromise where you’re working a bit less, but Megatron still feels like you’re overworking yourself for someone who’s carrying- after all, you should be focusing on you and you only. Still, he doesn’t say anything. He knows that you know your limits and that you’re a fully independent (mech/femme) capable of making their own decisions. 
• He tries to carry you everywhere, makes sure you’re not drinking any oil and that you have the best energon known to mech, will massage your back and peds and neck every night before bed, is insistent that you have only the best blankets, pillows, and berth, and that you’re taking all of your medical supplements that Ratchet has prescribed you. Will accompany you to every check up and ask for printed photos of every single ultrasound, and he keeps them all in a big ass wallet of sorts that he always carries in a storage compartment.
• “Darling, look at how big they’re getting. Do you think they’ll look more like me or more like you?”
• “Well, hopefully they’re not quite as big as you, honey, but aside from that, I hope they’re as handsome as you are.”
• Oh, right. The size is a major concern. He’s one of the largest (former) Decepticons known to Cybertronian kind, and you’re just a tiny little minibot, but according to Ratchet, the sparkling is projected to be a size where you can birth them naturally through your valve without any serious complications. 
• So, he worries about that, but tries not to think about it too much. Meanwhile, he’s doing most of the work preparing the sparkling’s room in your house; childproofing walls and plug ins and floors, going with you to pick a galaxy-patterned play carpet, building a purple wooden crib, building a matching toy box, lifting you up while you paint the walls to look like a fading sunset with stars at the top, going with you to buy cute stuffies and toys, as well as blankets and pillows, sparkling formula, bottles, etc. 
• He’s there for every step of the way and honestly more concerned about most everything than you are, but due to his diligence, everything is set up perfectly for when the sparkling comes. 
• When you feel your lubricant break and go to the hospital to find Ratchet, Megatron is surprisingly composed. Inside, he’s panicked, but he’s not the one carrying or delivering the sparkling so he feels like he should be calm, and he does a good job of that. He takes you to the hospital and holds your servo the entire time while Ratchet and a few others go through a long, strenuous, painful process of delivering the sparkling. Megatron is pretty impressed by and proud of you for how well you do, but by the time the sparkling is delivered, you’re both exhausted.
• They’re tiny. He can’t tell if they’re a mech or a femme yet since they’re still so little, and he doesn’t really care about that, more concerned with their size... They’re super tiny, even smaller than the pictures he’d seen of you from when you were a sparkling. (Unbeknownst to him at the time, they were born tiny but inherited his mammoth size genes and end up growing to be an inch or two taller than Megatron himself)
• After naming them and filling out some paperwork, you end up falling asleep with the sparkling in your arms. Megatron wants you to be able to get adequate rest, and thankfully, they’re still in that peaceful sleeping stage, so he takes the newborn out of your arms and holds them close to his chest while looking down at them. 
• They have a mix of your optics and his, which creates a brilliant purple, though they quickly close and settle back into their sire’s chest and close said optics. They have some of his gunmetal grey and black on their paint frame mixed with your (f/c), and they complement each other perfectly. They’re literally the size of maybe two of Megatron’s digits, so he finds himself scared that he’s going to break them, but he knows you need to rest, so he rocks them to sleep and paces around the room.
• And, as he looks down at the little bundle of joy in his arms, he can’t help but think that all the risks he’d gone through to be by your side over the years were worth it. He’d really have to step up his game as a bondmate and as a sire whenever you woke up, because in that moment, he loves you two more than anything and realizes that he won’t ever stop.

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• Optimus Prime: One For All (Yagi Toshinori)- User has a strong, powerful few quirks that they can inherit from one older user, develop, and then pass down to another. User will inherit all past user’s quirks.
• Prowl: Creation (Momo Yaoyorozu)- User can create all inanimate objects using their own body fat (or in Prowl’s case, energy) if they understand the molecular composition of said objects.
• Ratchet: Heal (Chiyo Shuzenji)- User can speed up the process of most injuries with a kiss to the afflicted, though it will drain a lot of energy from the one being healed and can’t be relied on too frequently.
• Bumblebee: Electrification (Denki Kaminari)- User can conduct and produce large amounts of electricity to electrocute things/people and can charge electronics.
• Bulkhead: Sugar Rush (Rikido Sato)- User will gain a massive size/strength upgrade from eating large amounts of sugar, though it’s only temporary.
• Sentinel Prime: Navel Laser (Yuga Aoyama)- User has a bright blue laser on their navel that they can use to fly or blast opponents, but it will make them nauseous and hurt their stomach if used for too long.
• Jazz: Earphone Jack (Kyoka Jirou)- User has attached aux chords on their ears/audials that they can plug into walls, floors, electronics, etc to detect quiet noises, produce sound, and do spy work. 
• Blurr: Engine (Tenya Iida)- User has engines on their body that make them go incredibly fast when used.
• Jetfire: Hellflame (Enji Todoroki)- User can produce/manipulate extremely hot fire and use it to fly, blast opponents, and burn things. They have a high body temperature and are mostly immune to their own flames.
• Jetstorm: Ice (Rei Todoroki): Like ^hellfire, but with ice. 
• Rodimus Prime: Hardening (Eijirou Kirishima)- User can harden their entire body or multiple body parts at once and use them for an armored defense or particularly rough/hard strikes.
• Ironhide: Steel (Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu)- Like ^hardening but steel instead of hardened, rock-like skin and doesn’t last as long because it’s fueled by the maintained ingestion of iron.
• Cliffjumper: Zero Gravity (Ochaco Uraraka)- User can touch objects and other people and make them have zero gravity/float/fly, basically. Using it for too long or on objects that are too heavy will make them nauseous.
• Ultra Magnus: Foresight (Mirai Sasaki)- User can predict one person’s future up to an entire hour by touching/making eye contact with them. 
• Megatron: All For One (AFO)- User can steal quirks from others and stack them for one’s self. 
• Starscream: Explosion (Katsuki Bakugou)- User produces glycogen sweat that they can use to make large combustions/explosions from their palms.
• Blitzwing: Dark Shadow (Fumikage Tokoyami)- User has a second half/shadow that’s constantly with them and can assist them by battling and flying. Weak in the sunlight but works well, stronger in the dark but struggles to be contained and controlled if allowed to get too strong.
• Lugnut: Love (Manami Aiba)- User can amplify the quirk strength of another through extreme love, activated voluntarily during battle.
• Swindle: Erasure (Shouta Aizawa)- User can temporarily erase another’s quirk use. Eyes/optics will change color during use and erasure can only last as long as user can keep their eyes/optics open. Eyes/optics are prone to become dry if overused.
• Lockdown: Overhaul (Kai Chisaki)- User can reconstruct and deconstruct things and people with a single touch of their hand/servo. If hands/servos are somehow lost, quirk will be unable to be used again.
• Soundwave: Voice (Hizashi Yamada)- User is able to control the volume, tone, and pitch of their voice with perfect ease to produce whatever sound waves they want. They can scream so loud that they debilitate opponents, change their voice to sound however they want, etc. 
• Shockwave: Decay (Tomura Shigaraki)- User can make any object or person ‘decay’ and disintegrate with a touch of all five fingers/digits. Has to use all five or it’s not effective. Involuntary and can’t be reversed unless it’s stopped with erasure during the decay process and healed afterwards.
• Blackarachnia: Acid (Mina Ashido)- User is able to produce/manipulate acid at any acidity level that they can use as a board to transport them places, to burn opponents, to make traps, etc.
• Wasp: Tail (Masahirao Ojiro)- User has an extremely flexible and strong tail that they can use to climb, hit, and grab.

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• Optimus Prime: A simple Autobot symbol in red and blue and some nicely written motivational quotes- I imagine Optimus would have perfect, slanted, curvy handwriting worthy of calligraphy art.
• Prowl: Some sort of nature scape, probably grass field with a couple deer and a pond with koi fish in the middle, then a pretty blue sky and some trees to surround it.
• Ratchet: Would keep it plain on his own, but Sari gives him and the others lots of stickers/paint etc., so any time that happens, he’ll put the supplies on there.
• Bumblebee: So much gold glitter... And logos/characters from his video games that are arguably badly painted, but he still loves them.
• Bulkhead: Colorful abstract art, maybe a small thing of his team’s faces at the bottom (like chibis).
• Jazz: Album covers of bands he likes and some birds painted by Prowl, who helped with his.
• Sentinel Prime: This conceited fuck definitely made a self-portrait that he thinks is great, but it’s actually horrible. As in, sparklings could probably do better. Absolute turbo-chicken-scratch artwork. 
• Ultra Magnus: Just an immaculate Elite Guard symbol and nothing else.
• Megatron: Purple Decepticon symbol with a black/blue city drop. Like with how he’s a poet, I imagine he’s also a good artist and would paint the main city in Cybertron from before the war hit. 
• Starscream: Self-portrait as well, but unlike Sentinel’s, his is very good if not even better than how he actually looks.
• Lugnut: Borderline raunchy, suggestive drawings of Megatron (i.e; one of Megatron getting out of the shower. Don’t even ask)
• Blitzwing: Like Prowl, he’s into the land scapes, but does three that are perfectly blended into each other; a winter tundra, a sunny desert, and a rainy forest.
• Lockdown: Wouldn’t ever actually use it since he travels so frequently, but might put some stickers of like, guns or knives or something on there to make it look cool.
• Swindle: Sequins and glitter, all purple and gold, and SO much of it that it’s obnoxious.
• Soundwave: His babies, obviously. Cute little paintings of Ravage and Laserbeak from different angles litter the thing.
• Shockwave: Keeps it plain.
• Blackarachnia: Feels nostalgic and paints Optimus and Sentinel at first, gets angry/sad, then paints over them and just makes it purple with black and yellow stripes.

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• Megatron doesn’t care much for organics themselves, but finds their news stations interesting. Lots of conflicts, politics, etcetera, and he got very used to hearing them used as background noise while trapped in Sumdac’s basement lab.
• Now that he’s back in his regular body, he’ll listen to it still on the radio for some sort of entertainment. Usually, every day is different things aside from the weather, political elections, and diseases, so he’s surprised when he hears about a human villain for a couple months straight. 
• The first day, he’s not surprised. Usual human nonsensical crook who’s either involved with something against the Autobots, robbing banks, or doing some other trivial crimes. He hears that you’ve robbed a huge bank one time and doesn’t think anything of it, but then he hears your name again because you shut off power on the wealthiest side of town, and then the next week for destroying Porter C. Powell’s estate and hacking into his bank accounts to steal all of his savings after Isaac Sumdac takes his company back.
• They’re all very disconnected seeming financial crimes- or at least crimes that have to do with terrorizing rich people. He’s curious enough about you at this point that he looks up a picture on the internet, and holy shit, you’re hot. Blitzwing (Icy) sees the hearts in his optics and immediately face palms. Lord Megatron, despite how hard he can be, is easily smitten by those who are just as bad as he is, and you seem to fit that. 
• So he finds you by looking into all of your recent activity and predicting where you’re going to be next- some corrupt executive’s mansion, from what he’s discovered. He meets you when he thinks you’re going to be there by waiting outside of the huge building (executive is on vacation, according to the pop news station that posted pictures of him in Hawaii) for you. You get there and look at him in a mixture of awe and confusion.
• “Why are you here?” You ask him.
• “Well, aren’t you going to introduce yourself or ask who I am first?”
• “No, I know who you are.”
• Oh. It seemed like you kept up with the news, too, then, because him and the other Cybertronians were on it all the time now, and it was the only way you could’ve known about him. 
• “And I know who you are.”
• The connection is immediate, as you take a fearless step towards him with crossed arms and peer up to meet his optics, (e/c) burning into vermillion. You’re even more attractive in person, the moonlight glowing on your (s/c) skin and (h/l) (h/c) hair framing your face perfectly.
• “So... You helping me ransack this place tonight or not?”
• Amazingly, the two of you form an immediate bond/team. Megatron helps you with heavy lifting sort of stuff, brute force, and hacking/interference with tech, and you do the rest. Eventually, he trusts you enough to build a friendship that includes genuine conversations, and on one fateful night, he asks what your motivations are. 
• And he finds out that yours are similar to his; to even out the playing field. Like how he rebelled against the Autobots due to their outdated council and class system, you were rebelling against the rich and powerful for being corrupt and doing whatever you could to take revenge against and inconvenience them. 
• He falls for you even harder than he had before. You look gorgeous passionately ranting about your beliefs and motivations, and he can’t help but want to help you even more, which he knows is extremely out of character and that he should be focusing on himself and the Decepticon cause, but... he figures you can help him in return.
• Against his better judgement and his underlings’ objections, he has you assist him with some smaller things; tech, paperwork, spying, that kind of thing, and eventually, you end up being together 24/7 and falling in love with each other quickly; one of those fast, passionate, high-risk romances. 
• Basically, it’s a seamless, wordless sort of relationship that works perfectly. Close the curtain, y’all.

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• Optimus Prime: Optimus has a lot of flashbacks himself to what happened with Sentinel Prime and Elita One, as well as when he was killed by Starscream. He’s very awkward and doesn’t know how to approach the issue with Ratchet, but he knows what’s happening and can always see it in his face when flashbacks are running through his processor. He’ll try to have Ratchet talk with him and insists that it’ll be good for him, but Ratchet never will, and he understands why; Ratchet, like him, is one of the bots that the others are always relying and leaning on, so he feels like he can’t show weakness or have someone be there for him. Optimus is ready to prove him wrong and is the first to make Ratchet hot chocolate energon and drape a blanket over his shoulders, play games with him to focus on something more light-hearted, and just sit in silence when he knows the silent company is needed. Some nights, he’ll just pull Ratchet into his arms and hold him there, scratching his back and whispering comforting words until he slips into recharge. Totally down for some platonic (or romantic) cuddling.
  
  
• Prowl: Prowl doesn’t have too many flashbacks or trauma, but he does have a lot of regrets and things that he wishes he could go back and change; what happened to his master, time he’s wasted, some of his more selfish actions, etc. He’s incredibly perceptive and won’t hesitate to pull Ratchet out of battles, crowded rooms, or anywhere that triggers flashbacks for him. Prowl doesn’t even ask, which Ratchet is thankful for, because he knows that the medic will talk on his own if he wants to and doesn’t want to be pushed. He’s very good at distracting Ratchet from whatever is going on, whether that be by singing him a lullaby so he will recharge, taking him on nature walks, or talking about work with him. He understands that sometimes Ratchet needs to wallow in it, too, though, and he’s there for that as well. He’s also gotten into the habit of learning how Ratchet likes his energon tea so he can make it just right when they’re spending late nights up together, and teaching the medic grounding techniques, venting patterns, and self-care things like journaling and meditating to help him when he feels like being alone with it. 
  
  
• Bulkhead: Bulkhead grew up having a relatively peaceful sparklinghood, went through the academy, and became a space bridge technician like he wanted, so despite some ups and downs, he’s very mentally stable and doesn’t really have any sort of trauma to dwell on. Sure, the attack from Megatron on their ship and them landing on earth was somewhat brutal and unwanted, but it was working out for him and he didn’t have any regrets. The only slight problem that he has is with his insecurities regarding his size and how clumsy he is, but if he dares utter a word of that out loud, Ratchet is the first to tell him that his strength/size is a blessing and that his clumsiness is just what makes him who he is. As grumpy as he can be, Ratchet is very supportive and won’t tolerate anyone on the team talking down on themselves. So, when he sees that Ratchet has been struggling a lot more recently, spacing out, etc., he wants to give back and asks what’s going on. Ratchet plays it off, because of course he does, and Bulkhead knows not to push it. He notices that Ratchet doesn’t do anything except refuel, recharge, and work, so he encourages the medic to pick up a hobby and will drag him along to do some sort of therapeutic painting or drawing when he’s feeling down.
  
  
• Bumblebee: Bumblebee doesn’t have anything going on like Ratchet does and often feels uncomfortable and like he needs to rush to make it better when others are upset, AKA he’s a huge people pleaser. So, when he notices what’s going on with Ratchet (which he is very good at, because despite being an idiot sometimes, he’s great at picking up on the atmosphere/others’ feelings), he feels the need to immediately make it better with stupid knock knock jokes and puns. Sometimes, it’ll work, because Ratchet will snap out of it just to tell him he’s stupid and laugh at him, but other times, it doesn’t work and he’ll just get snapped at. He tries to get Ratchet to talk to him about it, but Ratchet never will, and Bumblebee understands that because he himself often feels like a burden to the team for always having to get his ass saved and being weaker than them in almost every department, and Ratchet doesn’t want to be a burden. He eventually learns the lesson that Ratchet doesn’t need jokes or someone to talk to all the time, but sometimes just wants someone to sit by who will lighten up the room a bit and maybe grab him some oil to drink and massage the especially bad kinks out of his worn back and shoulder plates. Bumblebee also gives him the best hugs and helm pats.

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• When Shockwave first meets you, it’s while he’s undercover as Longarm Prime. You’re a minibot working intel for him in the Elite Guard, and you two have a very... Close dynamic, as some would say.
• He’s definitely more soft-spoken and casual in this form, and he sees right from the start that you’re attracted to him; always touching him, looking at him with such ardent admiration in your optics, excited to talk to him, beaming when he compliments you for a job well done.
• And he likes you back. You’re charming, innocent, with good intentions, and you’re not just an Autobot slave; you’re a Cybertronian with a good spark who wants to end the war, just like he does, and it just so happens that you’ve unknowingly chosen the wrong side.
• But, as great as you are, Shockwave holds back. He’s a Decepticon, a spy, and you’re an innocent little Autobot who doesn’t know any better. If you saw his true form, you’d be terrified and never want anything to do with him again. His cover would be blown at some point anyway and he knew he was going to cause plenty of casualties with this war, you didn’t need to be another one. 
• He can’t help but get closer to you, though, and you become friends, almost lovers. You start spending time together doing plenty of things like going to bars, staying at each other’s places (or him staying at yours, he doesn’t want you to find all of the Decepticon things at his), occupying the library together, attending any work functions by each other’s sides. 
• The feelings aren’t mentioned, though- at least not until one day, he’s alone in the quarters he has on the Elite Guard’s base. He thinks it’s late enough that no one is there and transforms into his regular form to be comfortable, only for you to walk in.
• Yeah, there’s no saving it now. Giant Decepticon form littered with dark blues, greys, and reds, antlers, and a piercing crimson optic, he thinks of playing it off and pretending that he’s a Decepticon who has broken into Longarm’s quarters, but you walk in, shut the door behind you, and go;
• “Longarm?”
• Okay. You found him, but he can’t have you squashed or offline you- he’s too attached to you now. He thinks that maybe the two of you can work this out so you can both keep your positions and your blooming relationship intact.
• “Shockwave, actually,” he corrects you, and surprisingly enough, you approach him fearlessly despite how he dwarfs you in size and look up at him in awe.
• “I always knew something about you was different,” You give a weak smile. “But I didn’t think it’d be this- I, uh...”
• “Listen,” He starts. “I know you’re loyal to your cause, as am I. I’ve not hurt you and I don’t intend to, and for that reason, I need you to return the favor by keeping quiet about this.”
• “I’d never sell you out, if that’s what you’re implying. I love you too much.”
• Shockwave is silent for a moment, astonished. He’d expected tears, yelling, and upset about how he had betrayed you so, but you were surprisingly calm and wrapping your tiny arms around his body the best you could. No one had ever been so tender or understanding with him, not even Lord Megatron or his Decepticon allies. 
• “Thank you,” He whispers and picks you up to pull you close to him and hug you back. “I love you as well... Maybe we can make this work, after all.”

• Shockwave waits a very long time before doing anything intimate with you. He’s an old-fashioned mech who believes that a conjunx should be fully courted before doing anything with him, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of you, but like... You’re very tempting.
• He probably is really into the cross-faction by technicality thing and will tease you about it in bed at times, mentioning how he’s corrupting you... Yeah, join the corruption kink Shockwave club with me, guys.
• Will switch to Longarm’s form to better use his fingers and mouth on you, but also likes staying in his regular form to scrape his claws up and down your body. 
• All in all is very tactical about it. Yes, interfacing is a passionate thing, but he’s on a mission to make sure you feel good. He doesn’t talk much and is more focused on your body/overloads.
• Doesn’t like taking too much time, but loves hearing you beg for it and making you desperate. He’s patient enough to wait for a while if he thinks he’ll be able to get that kind of desperation out of you. 

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"Realistic" Headcanon: Has a little corkboard in his room that he puts pictures of Megatron's face on. His favorite shots are mid-battle pictures he snuck of Megatron crushing his enemies with his bare servos.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: You know how in my Starscream headcanon set for this ask meme I mention that Starscream writes ironic fanfiction of Megatron as a way to make fun of him and see how many people take it seriously? Well, Lugnut writes SERIOUS fanfiction about Megatron, and him and Starscream are the two most popular fanfiction blogs on whatever the Decepticon version of Tumblr is. They send each other hate anons frequently and struggle not to throttle each other in public.

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: Gets genuinely depressed sometimes because Megatron doesn't acknowledge him that much and does every single thing he can possibly do for the sole reason of getting Megatron's attention.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: He has never jumped into any sort of space warp or black hole ever and will never do so (:

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"Realistic" Headcanon: Actually terrified of real organic bugs and will run/kill them on the spot in fear of being bit or stung. Also just things they’re gross.

"While It May Not Be Realistic, It Is Hilarious" Headcanon: Probably had a little baby crush on Bumblebee in the academy and that’s why he was so mean to him. 

"Heart-Crushing And Awful, But Fun To Inflict On Friends" Headcanon: Has nightmares about his time spent in the stockade and has developed claustrophobia as well as a fear of any bot that’s significantly larger than him. Any time he’s faced with either, he will have a full on melt down and start blasting everything around him in some attempt to gain control/feel safe.

"Unrealistic, But I Will Disregard Canon About It Because I Reject Canon Reality And Substitute My Own" Headcanon: Him and Blackarachnia actually end up being cool and finding Team Prime, return to Cybertron, receive actual apologies and closure, and start living semi-normal lives. Wasp and Bee become friends, kind of. 

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• Lugnut, like the other Decepticons, meets you on earth during that very first battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons over the All Spark. And at first, he’s not super attentive to you- after all, his attention is solely on Megatron and the Decepticon cause.
• So, the first few times you see each other, he’s not that engaged with you specifically- just with kicking your ass, which he does easily, but he finds that he can never bring himself to seriously hurt you like he can with the other Autobots... Maybe it’s just because you’re so tiny. 
• He does notice that you’re always super shy and blushy, but he doesn’t think it has anything to do with him, even as he sees the Autobots constantly whispering to you while pointing at him and laughing. He just assumes they’re making fun of him to you, and for some reason, the thought always makes him feel especially angry and embarrassed.
• That’s the extent of your interactions until one particularly nasty mission during turbulent weather had him crashing in a nearby park in his vehicle mode. He transforms back but is decently injured and even though he tries to contact Megatron, he doesn’t get anything back- same for Blitzwing, and he wouldn’t dare let the treacherous Starscream know about him being in a weak state. 
• It’s late at night and snowy, and he’s alone, cold, and has a ton of dents and scrapes and his tanks and vents are starting to freeze over. He’s unusually terrified until you and the medic bot (Ratchet, he remembers) approach him, and all he can hear is you two talking. He can’t even bring himself to move or talk back.
• “Ratchet, we have to help him! Can’t we take him back?”
• “Seriously? Of course we had to get the biggest lug of Decepticon in the lot... Fine, fine.”
• He feels himself being dragged somewhere, surprisingly, but is in and out of stasis as it’s happening.
• “Are we gonna be able to sneak him past Optimus and the others?”
• “They’re asleep, so probably but... What do we even do with him? I know... I know what your feelings are, kid.”
• Lugnut is confused at that, but quickly falls into stasis and wakes up a while later, warm and fixed up, almost as good as new. You’re there by his side, the two of you alone in some sort of med bay, and surprisingly... He’s not in stasis cuffs like he expects to be. 
• “You can leave,” Are your first ever directly spoken words to him. He notices that you’re holding one of his claws in your tiny servo, but you let go and jerk back with your face plates burning red. “Ratchet won’t tell anyone, and I don’t think it’s fair to take advantage of your injuries to detain you. So please, leave before Optimus and the others get up, because if they see you in here, I won’t be allowed to help you.”
• Oh, dear. Lugnut feels his spark jump, his own face burning red as he makes his way out of the base as silently as he can and flies back to the Decepticon mines. You weren’t just an Autobot slave like he’d originally thought, and you’d chosen to help him without getting anything in return, at your own risk. Maybe your odd behavior around him had been because of some feelings, and... Maybe he was developing some of those same feelings, too. 

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·Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the gardening section: Jetfire, Shockwave, Grimlock

·Gets yelled at by employees while frantically ascending the Forbidden Orange Stairs: Jetstorm, Blurr, Wreckgar

·Taking selfies in the lighting aisle: Blackarachnia, Starscream, Sentinel Prime

·Sitting on one of the display toilets: Ratchet, Soundwave, Lugnut

·Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts, holding on for dear life: Bumblebee, Wasp, Rodimus Prime 

·Lovingly touching all the carpet samples: Jazz, Bulkhead, Arcee

·Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes: Blitzwing, Swindle, Swoop

·Just wanted goddamn light bulbs and everyone ruined it: Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Megatron

· In the car sleeping: Prowl, Lockdown, Snarl

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• The Autobots find this sparkling and have no idea where they’re supposed to be or who their family is. Ultra Magnus knows nothing about them, and it seems like they don’t have a home, so of course, the Autobots take them in and take care of them on their base on earth. 
• Optimus, Prowl, and Bulkhead are beyond confused. Ratchet knows the basics of what a sparkling needs, like formula and sleep and whatnot, but that’s about it. 
• So they’re all running around scrambling on what to do with a crying sparkling just sitting on the ground when, surprisingly, Bumblebee comes to the rescue, picks the sparkling up and rocks them to sleep, and then gives them a list of what they need; the type of formula, a crib, rocker, toys/stuffies, blankets, crib bedding, play mat, pacifier, everything you could think of.
• Team Prime’s first instinct is to begrudgingly listen and get the stuff shipped in from Cybertron ASAP, but they all seem to doubt him at first when it comes to what the sparkling needs.
• “Ratchet, they won’t stop crying.”
• “All they need is their bottle, Bossbot.”
• “Ratchet, help!”
• “I’M RIGHT HERE, BOSSBOT! GIVE THEM THEIR BOTTLE!”
• Yeah. Lots of Team Prime needing help and running to Optimus or Ratchet when Bumblebee not only has the most knowledge and experience of/with sparklings, but has the strongest connection with this sparkling in particular because he knows how to take care of them the best.
• He can’t blame them, though. He’s usually seen as the irresponsible, reckless, irresponsible one, so he understands, especially since he hasn’t told them his past; he grew up in an orphanage and was one of the oldest there, so he naturally took on that nurturing older sibling/caretaker role for many sparklings and picked up that experience.
• Eventually, despite their shock, the Autobots warm up to the idea of Bumblebee taking care of the sparkling most of the time and acting as a surrogate carrier/sire. Bumblebee proves that he’s a good parental figure and ends up raising the sparkling as his own.

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• Y’all are like rivals, the typical enemies to lovers vibes. During his time in the Elite Guard, he’s run into you a lot and has always hated you because you tease him.
• It’s frustrating because every time he’s ever fought you, it’s either been because he caught you spying on Autobots or because he ran into you on the battlefield. Somehow, you know his name and a ton of information about him and it’s unsettling. Not only that, but despite how large and powerful he is compared to you, you always manage to escape him completely unscathed.
• Then again, that’s because he always hesitates somehow... He can never bring himself to actually hurt you, it’s almost like there’s a block of sorts, and it drives him nuts, especially when you’re teasing him the way you do.
• “Wow, are you getting old, Sentinel Prime? You can barely keep up with me anymore!”
• He wants to beat the shit out of you... But at the same time, he also wants to crowd you up against a wall and kiss your lips until the plates fall off. Those are thoughts that he doesn’t linger on, considering them intrusive and wrong, so he ignores them the best he can. 
• It bothers him after a while that he doesn’t know your name or anything about you, even when he’s known you in a way for so long now, even running into you on earth because you’d traveled there with Megatron to act as a spy for him.
• While you’re both on earth, he finds you all by yourself spying on the Autobots outside of their base. He tries to capture you, and of course, ends up in a pair of stasis cuffs on the ground with you standing on top of him.
• “Ugh, this is ridiculous! Free me this instant!”
• All you do is laugh at him, and for a moment, he can’t help but think about how much he hates loves your beautiful fucking smile. 
• “I’ll do you one better,” You offer and lean down to press a kiss against his lips, and then you’re leaving.
• “Fucking bitch!”
• He just lays there in his stasis cuffs cussing up a storm and cursing both your existence and his own because Primus, when had his genuine hatred of you for being a Decepticon spy turned into this boiling tension, this fondness for you that you seemed to feel for him as well? 
• It goes against everything he was taught to believe in, and after that, any time you’re brought up or any time he sees you, he gets embarrassed; red cheeks, arms crossed, stumbling over himself, struggling to speak. All he wants is to kiss those lips again, and it’s driving him nuts just like the rest of you does, haunting his dreams. 
• One day after a battle with the Decepticons, he manages to catch you before you can escape and pin you up against a tree.
• “Why’d you kiss me that day, you filthy Decepticon?”
• You don’t answer directly, only asking him a question in return.
• “Why are you demanding answers instead of detaining me, you pathetic little Autobot?”
• “You’re one to talk about little,” He spits and looks at your tiny minicon form with a smirk. 
• “Sorry, I was referring to your self-esteem, but that aside, you know why I kissed you. Don’t act stupid.”
• All he can do is kiss you, all passion and anger and frustration dripping from your touching bodies, and after that, you form an unspoken thing.
• You hate each other a little bit and play it up in public, and in private, you share a passionate relationship that no one has to know about.

• Sentinel likes to think he’d completely dominate/top you in the berthroom.
• Sentinel... Thinks wrong. He has these very frequent fantasies of pinning you to a bed, holding you down, and making you his own, but somehow, it never goes like that. In fact, it’s always the exact opposite.
• He always gets super flustered and finds that he can’t really talk, and you, on the other hand, are the exact opposite. You’re seductive and sultry, always on top of him and in control before he can even do anything.
• “What, Sentinel, turbocat got your glossa?”
• YES. He isn’t functioning, probably blew a fuse. You’re too hot for your own good and for his own good.
• And honestly, even if he’ll never admit it, he finds that he actually loves being dominated by you. It’s nice that even as the big strong one, he doesn’t have to be in control all the time. He enjoys it when you tease and edge him, too, and his favorite thing about interfacing with you is how you’ll cuddle with you laying on his chest afterwards. 

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• Ultra Magnus meets you long before he’s a Magnus, when he’s a Prime who’s basically Magnus-in-waiting/about to be promoted, and you’re currently Cybertron’s worst nightmare. 
• Almost as terrifying as Megatron himself despite your tiny size, you’re feared by most every Autobot there is for your abilities; apparently, you’re not only a talented covert agent, but have some sort of ability and matching weapon that have to do with poison, and you’ve taken many Autobot lives with it to escape detainment and further your Decepticon cause. 
• You’re known to be Megatron’s closest friend and ally, only a little younger than the warlord himself, and your close ties with him have earned you a lot of respect.
• You’re not cute, sweet, or anything like that. You’re a terrifying, strong, deadly killing machine that throws opponents off with a tiny and unintimidating stature that misleads them, and that’s why Ultra Magnus is drawn to you as Ultra Prime.
• You’re strong, bold, and you take your job seriously. You’re not especially antagonistic or mean, just getting the job done and doing what you believe in, just like he is. The only difference was that you were a Decepticon and he was an Autobot, so while you were seen as evil and twisted, he was seen as heroic and brave. It was a fine line, and in a weird way, after having narrowly escaped a few encounters with you, Ultra Prime doesn’t quite admire you, but he respects you. You make it clear that you’re only doing your duty.
• He knows there’s no fixing you, you don’t need to be fixed, and he’s not a repair bot. He just wishes you’d ended up on the same side of the war, given the opportunity to fight for what you believe in together, because despite many Autobots’ desiring conformity and many Decepticons desiring chaos, all the two of you seemed to want was peace; resolution. You just had verry different ideas on how to get there. 
• One night after he’s promoted to Ultra Magnus, he just so happens to run into you at a bar on neutral territory. He should be working, but he’s already overwhelmed by the new position and sits right next to you, knowing that you should kill him on sight, but you don’t.
• “Why, if it isn’t my old rival, Ultra Magnus... How’s the promotion treating you?”
• “Quite fine, thank you.”
• You pour him a drink.
• “Your talents would be much better served assisting Megatron rather than playing the public face of forced conformity.”
• “And yours would be better served with me helping us find peace rather than encouraging violence and brutality.”
• It’s quiet for most of the night. You pay for his drinks and don’t dare start a fight or bring attention to either of you, and thankfully, you go unnoticed. You just sit there and drink together for a while before leaving silently.
• But then he keeps coming back to find you at that same bar whenever he can get away, unable to help himself. The Autobot High Council would detest him for having cross-faction relationship, but he knows you’re not enemies on neutral territory, just two people who ended up on opposite sides, and regardless of his duties, he’s allowed to be happy, as are you.
• You keep coming back to the bar, too. Silent drinking and philosophical bickering turns into deep discussions, traveling to other places on neutral territory to spend time together, going on adventures, holding servos and resting helms on each other’s shoulder plates. Ultra Magnus slowly falls in love, as do you.
• And, unlike a lot of the other relationships in my Autobot/Minicon + Decepticon/Minibot headcanons series, it’s slow and burning and lasts from before canon until the end of it. Ultra Magnus and you have a sort of unspoken, secret love that cultivates over time and is easily maintained and matured no matter how much distance there is between the two of you, regardless of your factions.

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• Optimus meets you while he’s on earth. You’re created along with Soundwave and end up running off to assist Megatron after that whole fiasco, though he notices that you seem more intelligent than Soundwave and the lot.
• He makes the mistake of thinking he can fix you because Optimus being Optimus, he thinks that everything is his problem and wants to give others the benefit of the doubt. You were created by Isaac Sumdac and corrupted by Megatron and Soundwave. Surely, you had some good in you.
• Any time he runs into you, he tries to talk you out of your usual schemes; “(y/n), just listen to me! You’re better than this, and I know you don’t understand yet, but if you’d just listen for a moment-”
• “Pft, what do you take me for, an idiot? I know what I’m doing!”
• Okay, maybe not. It gets to a point where his team gets onto him all the time and calls him out, accusing him of having feelings or some ulterior motive for this because why else would he keep trying to turn you to their side when you’re so obviously hellbent on tormenting the Autobots and showing the Decepticons nothing but loyalty?
• “Seriously, Prime? You’re going to get yourself killed! They’re not going to change their mind any time soon!”
• And they were right, but still, Optimus couldn’t help but be drawn to you, want to talk to you. 
• By some sort of cursed blessed coincidence, he runs into you alone one night on patrol and y’all go through the usual routine.
• “What, gonna try to convince me to become an Autobot?”
• At this point, Optimus may or may not have a little crush on you, even if you seem to spite him for one reason or another. 
• “Maybe, but can we do it over a refuel date instead of in the middle of the street for once?”
• You look at him like he’s grown another head, your optical ridge raised as high as it can go, but you give a nod and follow him to a local park where he does as promised and splits some energon with you. And he doesn’t try to convince you to join him like he always does, instead just sits there and enjoys your company, tries to talk to you about things outside of your factions/work.
• And it becomes a surprisingly common occurrence after that. 
• Unlike a lot of the others in this series, he’s actually open with the others regarding his relationship with you but would totally yell at his team if they ever started dating a Decepticon LMAO.
• “You don’t get it, guys, (y/n)’s different!”
• “Yeah, okay, Prime.”

• In the berthroom, Optimus is very sweet and gentle with you. You’re very huffy about it, insisting that you don’t need all of that, but he has such a tender way with words and touches that anyone he’s with can’t help but melt into nothing underneath him.
• Praises you and loves being praised in return; “You’re doing so good, sweetspark”, “So pretty underneath me like this”, “You like that? Tell me you’re mine, tell me how good it is, baby,” etc. 
• Very into roaming your body with his servos and squeezing your thighs, chest, etc. 
• Usually a switch, likes to be on top so he can service you but also doesn’t mind switching it up and letting you take care of him sometimes. Unlike most of the others, he’s overall very flexible and willing to try just about anything. 

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• Optimus Prime: Origami 
• Ratchet: Wood carving
• Prowl: Pottery
• Bumblebee: Crayons
• Bulkhead: Acrylic paint
• Arcee: Watercolor paint
• Sentinel Prime: Model paint
• Jazz: Mosaics
• Blurr: Colored pencils
• Ultra Magnus: Jewelry making
• Megatron: Charcoal
• Starscream: Glitter pens
• Blitzwing: Chalk pastels
• Lugnut: Murals
• Shockwave: Pens
• Soundwave: Markers
• Swindle: Oil pastels
• Lockdown: Graphite
• Blackarachnia: Spray paint
• Wasp: Tempera paint

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• Megatron: He’s actually pretty decent to you, not at all disgusted. Yes, organics aren’t his preferred species to interact with, but alas, when he finds you and makes the offer for you to join the Decepticons, you prove to be quite useful. You’re loyal and pleasant to be around, so he enjoys spending time with you and working with you. Lots of nights are spent with you sharing earth culture with him and him telling you stories about Cybertron over energon and organic food after you finish reports and whatnot. 
• Starscream: A lot like Sentinel, Starscream is disgusted by you at first because of your organic half. He makes lots of slights and comments about how you’re just a filthy organic who was lucky for Megatron to take interest in you for your abilities, but still, you’re nothing but kind to him, and... You prove to be a lot more competent than him, too, which is kind of a burn. He starts watching you more and realizes that you’re actually not too bad, so while he doesn’t quite apologize, he does start treating you with a bit more kindness. He doesn’t insult you all the time anymore, he gets in the habit of standing super close to you with a protective servo on your back, and he takes any excuse he can to spend time with you. Will occasionally be in awe of how your small form is so powerful and gorgeous, but won’t say anything so sappy out loud.
• Lugnut: He thinks you’re neat! Tiny little organic with super powers who’s actually part Cybertronian? He’s into it, especially since you’re using your abilities to serve the mighty Lord Megatron, unlike the other foolish organics who don’t know any better. He’s very enthusiastically talking to you all the time, coming up with ideas for missions, etc. Will be your bestest friend forever and ever and make you the equivalent of a Cybertronian friendship bracelet, as well as carry you into battles on one of his huge shoulders and let you travel in his vehicle mode. Two peas in a pod. 
• Blitzwing: Will make jokes about you being part organic, but isn’t legitimately disgusted by you and is very open to the idea of having a new teammate, especially one who’s different. The two of you bond over the fact that you’re often ostracized by the other Decepticons, him for his multiple personalities, and you for being techno-organic. Icy likes having long discussions and making battle plans with you, Hothead likes venting to you and allowing you to vent to him in return, and Random likes joking with you and playing pranks on the others with you as his helper. Like Lugnut, he will carry you into battle and proudly display you like you’re some sort of trophy to be gawked at because he thinks you’re so amazing. 
• Shockwave: With your harmless, human-like form, you’re used by the Decepticons as a spy who hangs around the Autobots on earth and collects their information. You’re in constant communication with Longarm Prime, AKA Shockwave. He’s decently neutral on organics before this, but starts liking them after he interacts with you some more and learns of your origins; it’s neat that you’re unique, too, not quite human, not quite Cybertronian, but perfectly in between. He enjoys talking about your abilities with you and telling you everything he’s learned of the Autobots. The two of you have an LDR thing going on, staying up on the phone late every night and bonding while you talk/fall asleep together. The Autobots totally encourage it because they think it’s just a nice little relationship with their friend Longarm Prime and their techno-organic, Autobot-allied friend, lol.
• Soundwave: He hates most humans for how they take advantage of technology and never do anything for themselves, but after learning that you were just an innocent victim of one of Powell’s experiments with D.N.A. that he stole of Megatron’s from Isaac Sumdac’s basement, he figures that you’re not... Too bad. You’re the only human- or, half human- that he actually likes. Y’all hella scheme together, doing crazy shit like shutting off electricity in Detroit, foiling the plans of the Autobots in your spare time, messing with the humans and hacking into/taking over their technology, etc. Arguably the most chaotic duo, everyone in Detroit aside from the other Decepticons hates you guys.
• Lockdown: He’s annoyed by you at first. He doesn’t understand why Megatron has sent you along with him for bounty hunts, at least until you tell him that Megatron just wants to keep close tabs on him and make sure he has some assistance. Kind of a nuisance, but fine, okay. Megatron could’ve sent someone worse, like Blitzwing or Lugnut, both of which he would’ve been tempted to offline and take parts off of. You’re at least tolerable; a relatively peaceful, stable presence, much like himself. You never get in the way of anything and usually just let him do his thing, or assist him on the rare occasion that he needs it, though you do encourage him to be kinder, which is mildly annoying. The two of you are usually strictly business, but there are times where Lockdown finds himself staring at your soft, human-like features for a little too long and quickly looking away in some mix of confusion and embarrassment.
• Swindle: He’s sooooo smitten at the mere sight of you. He has a complex about his size since he’s a former Autobot turned Decepticon and is smaller than literally everyone he’s around now, so when you, human-sized techno-organic show up, he’s thrilled at the sight of you. Even better, Megatron is sending you to help him collect expensive, amazing earth weapons! So he gets to work with you, cool. He gets along with you very well and is kind and friendly to you, but he has no idea how to express his affections in a proper, direct way, so he usually resorts to buying and making whatever you want as well as trying to do literally all of your work for you even though you’re fully capable of doing it yourself. 
• Blackarachnia: As is kind of established in canon, she has this internalized anti-organic thing, so even though she also has some organic alien D.N.A., she rags on you for being part organic at first. You brush her off and try to be friendly to her regardless of that, and eventually, it works. She doesn’t know how or why or when, but yelling at you for existing turns into just snapping at you when you talk to her, then tolerating your presence, to making forced small talk, to just growing comfortable with you and enjoying your company. You’re very unthreatening with a small, human body and matching features, only really holding a candle to the others when you’re actively using your Cybertronian abilities. You slowly break down her walls and get close to her very quickly, and she finds that you’re a nice, comforting contrast to all of the other Decepticons who are either cruel to or scared of her. 

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• I explored this in my oneshot Telling, but Optimus Prime has a HUGE praise kink. Always wants to be told how pretty/handsome he is, how good he’s doing, what he’s doing that’s nice, how good he feels, etc. It’s not only very validating, but it’s nice to know that he can make his lover so desperate that he just loses his pride and says all of those things; the sweet, the filthy, and the tender.
• Bumblebee feeds into it. He’ll tell Optimus whatever he wants to hear if it means Optimus feels good, which means Optimus will make him feel good in return. Just like Optimus, he likes hearing the praise in return.
• Bumblebee’s favorite parts of Optimus are his audials, shoulders, and thighs.
• Optimus’s favorite parts of Bumblebee are his servos, chest, and optics. 
• Despite being mostly vanilla, they also have a slight brat/tamer dynamic going on. Bumblebee likes to act up, tease, and talk big game to Optimus because he knows it’ll get him ‘punished’ (AKA serviced really good) and roughed up since Optimus won’t be rough with him unless he really does something to push his buttons. 
• Optimus likes it too, though, because he enjoys the control and the submission he gets from it, the power that comes with being to hold Bumblebee down and punish him for being a tease, whether that be touching him under the table at a public function or running a servo over his aft while walking past him in the hallway.
• Their relationship is secret mostly, at least for a while. Not a FWB thing by any stretch since they’re both very in love with each other and want to have a committed relationship before interfacing, but it’s just easier to keep things a secret from their team to avoid making it complicated. The secrecy adds onto the thrill; sneaking into each other’s rooms, trying to keep the moans down, putting a pillow between the back of the berth and the wall to avoid the headboard slamming into it from the force of Optimus’s thrusts, stealing kisses in hallways and hoping that no one else is around.
• There’s a surprising amount of dirty talk that’s like “What if someone walked in right now? You’d like that, though, wouldn’t you? You’re filthy, sweetspark,” and “Be careful; I don’t mind you getting loud, but as much as I love the noise, I don’t think you want everyone on base to know how good I’m fragging you,”.
• Usually, Optimus prefers to be on top so he can control the entire situation, but sometimes, he’ll let Bumblebee ride. It’s nice to just be able to sit there and be pleasured, watch Bumblebee’s face twist with pleasure as he rides his spike and grips onto his shoulders for dear life.
• They’re both incredibly tender, gentle lovers at heart, so they always worry about hurting or bothering the other and are usually pretty careful, even when they do get rough sometimes. 
• Bumblebee loves sucking Optimus’s spike, and Optimus loves eating Bumblebee out. They’re both super into giving and receiving oral.
• Body worship all the way for both of these bots, too.
• Bumblebee really enjoys being manhandled and thrown around, picked up and maneuvered by Optimus in the bedroom. It makes him feel smaller, weaker, like he’s there to be controlled and used, something he’s into.
• Neither of them call it by name directly, but they both totally have a breeding kink... Especially Optimus. He usually doesn’t do it out of courtesy, but his favorite sessions of interfacing are when Bumblebee will lock his legs around his waist and trap him there, begging for him to overload inside and fill him with his transfluid. Optimus falls into it without any thought and will immediately start fucking Bumblebee so hard that the berth has probably broken at one point, making him overload a couple of more times before stuffing him full with his seed.
• Anywho, yeah... There’s those! I’m going to go drink some holy water. Peace out, y’all.

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• Post-canon, Optimus Magnus is still dwelling on what happened to Blackarachnia and Wasp on earth. Yes, he’s Magnus now and has multiple other things to be doing, but he can’t help it. He hadn’t the time back then, but he wanted to go back to see if they were really gone, and if they were, he wanted to have a ceremony for them.
• So, he takes you, his assistant, to help him. You feel complicated about it as well, as you’d gone to the academy with Wasp- Waspinator, now- Bumblebee, and Bulkhead, and had actually had a close relationship with Wasp. You’d always had a small crush on him and assumed that he never liked you back, and naturally, you let it go when he was arrested, but knowing that he could still be out there somewhere sparks that fire that you have for him in your spark again. 
• You make it to that forest where everything had happened in Blackarachnia’s lab, and surprisingly enough... Stumble upon Blackarachnia and Waspinator arguing over what they should be doing, both of them severely underfueled and without recharge.
• When they see you, it’s actually quite the reunion. 
• Optimus runs to Blackarachnia without hesitation and takes her into his arms, hugging her tight even as she tries to push him away and scream at him, only for her to end up melting into it, both of them crying into each other.
• You feel a bit awkward standing there, but you and Waspinator don’t just leave, either. You ask how he’s been and get garbled nonsense in response. He’s hostile at first, wanting nothing to do with Optimus or Blackarachnia, but you look at him and promise that you’re just there to help, Sentinel Prime and Ultra Magnus aren’t in power anymore, and that all you want is to go back to Cybertron with him and help him feel better again; he isn’t going back to the stockade.
• At that, both parties reluctantly calm down and come with the two of you.
• It’s an awkward spaceship ride back to Cybertron. Optimus is trying to make up with Blackarachnia who wants to be left alone to reflect on everything, you’re trying to make conversation with Wasp, whose vocal processor has been severely damaged. You manage to get him to write/type on data tablets to better communicate with you, and the two of you confess everything; feelings you had for each other in the academy, those of which you still both possess. It’s not quite dating or anything, but you bond again, more honestly than you did when you were younger.
• When you all get back to Cybertron, Optimus tries to see about getting Blackarachnia and Waspinator into therapy with Rung, providing them with housing and finances for a while. You also support them every step of the way and help Ratchet with seeing about reversing what’s been done to their bodies, but the most you two can manage is some minor side-effect erasures; taking some of the bug-like extensions off of Blackarachnia that she doesn’t want, shrinking Wasp back to his original size, etc. No full reversing, but everyone comes to terms with it.
• Wasp confides in you a lot, and the two of you develop a relationship naturally. I imagine he tries to ask you on a date but struggles and stammers the whole time. Thankfully, you piece it together and enthusiastically agree.

• Because he got arrested and taken to the stockade when he was in the academy, he never got real relationship experience before you, so you’re his first in everything, including intimate things like interfacing. He’s a nervous wreck the whole time but tries to act calm about it despite his shaking as you show him the ropes. 
• After he gets the hang of it, he’s an absolute horndog. Needs it multiple times a day, if he can get it, will get his claws on you whenever he can. 
• Wasp is very needy in the bedroom, and also incredibly touch-starved. It usually makes for very intense, rough, frenzied, passionate interfacing.
• He likes that he utterly dwarfs you in size. It makes him feel big and strong, like he can dominate you even though you’re just as tough as he is... TBH, he’s a big softie and just doesn’t want to admit it. 
• He probably goes into heats/ruts and wants to breed you/fill you with transfluid and eggs o///o gets absolutely filthy during that time of the year and will fuck you so hard that he leaves dents and paint transfluid. #breedingkinkwaspclub

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• I imagine they bond over mutual hatred of Sentinel Prime post-canon. I know, funny, but mutual suffering creates really strong bonds between these bots.
• It’s not even genuine hatred. Like, Jazz will make jokes about Sentinel to Sentinel’s face and Optimus laughs at them. Occasionally, when the Prime frustrates them, they rant to each other about it and both have enough experience with him that they understand.
• But then Jazz starts noticing that he really likes it when he makes Optimus laugh... Like, a lot. He will purposefully do anything he can to see that beautiful smile and those flushed, rosy cheeks. Optimus has a laugh that’s especially goofy, loud and sharp, and he tends to cover his mouth and hunch over as he does it. A lot of their friends tease Optimus for the way he laughs, but Jazz finds it adorable and-
• Ohhhh. Oh, great. Jazz is the first to realize his crush and, because he’s one of the only emotionally mature bots in the series, comes to terms with it very quickly. It could be worse... He just so happens to have a crush on the new Magnus who has a bunch of potential suitors, so he himself has a bunch of competition and there’s a good chance that nothing will come from the crush, but that’s fine, he’s happy with their friendship and wants Optimus to be happy as well.
• Still, he makes the effort to spend more time with Optimus, even with the former Prime being a Magnus now. 
• “Hey, Magnus, wanna grab a bite?”
• “Yo, Magnus, you won’t BELIEVE the slag S.P. was talkin about ya today...”
• “Magnus, my mech, you diggin this candle? Yeah, I snagged it on a mission recently, got it for ya...”
• Optimus really appreciates Jazz’s interest in him, and it’s great, because Jazz has always been kind to him and reciprocated his friendship/effort. They’re both laid back personalities with a lot in common, and yes, he has a lot of bots interested in trying to court or befriend him, but a lot of them are only interested because Optimus is Magnus. Jazz was there before that.
• He notices that Jazz is always stopping to talk to him between their jobs, making sure he’s fueled, bringing him treats and gifts that were clearly picked out for him with a lot of thought and care from little things like alien rocks that are his favorite color to expensive jewelry and scented things for his quarters.
• The thought that someone cares for him like that fills him with a warm, fuzzy feeling, but the fact that it’s Jazz specifically makes his spark beat harder in its chamber and against his chest. 
• He starts finding any excuse he can to spend time with Jazz, not even sure of why he’s doing it.
• “Jazz, could you come down and assist me with this paper work?”
• “Ah, Jazz, hello, could I get your advice on this?”
• “Jazz, I saw Sentinel Prime earlier, and...”
• Jazz is totally into it. Before anyone else can blink, Jazz has essentially become OP’s unofficial advisor and best friend. Everyone else around them can see what’s happening and makes jokes about it behind their backs, as well as bets on when they’re finally going to get together.
• It all comes to a head for Optimus when him and Ratchet are talking about something in the medic’s med bay when through the large window, he sees Jazz walk by and is totally captivated, watching the beautiful bot walk by, talking and smiling with Sentinel. He’s both in amazement and a little jealous for some reason when Ratchet puts a servo on his shoulder and goes;
• “Kid... Just ask him out already. This is getting so painful to watch that I’ve heard the council is considering arranging for the two of you to bond.”
• The world crashes down on Optimus at the same time that the realization does. He’s liked Jazz for a while and just hasn’t reflected on it, but now he is, and oh shit, he likes Jazz.
• OP being the stupid, passionate bot he is, RUNS out into the hallway and catches Jazz right there, grabbing him by a servo and dragging him away from Sentinel despite the Prime’s protests.
• Jazz goes along with it, honestly thankful to be talking to Optimus instead of Sentinel; a step up, he thinks. He’s dragged back to Optimus’s private quarters with the door shut behind them and Optimus’s servos holding both of his.
• “I like you,” Optimus starts, face on fire and optics trained on Jazz’s visor. Jazz, realizing how serious this is, pulls his servos away, takes his visor off, and then goes back to letting the Magnus hold his servos. “Romantically. Thoughts?”
• Jazz laughs at the blunt, awkward way it’s phrased, but nods and rests his helm against OP’s shoulder.
• “My thoughts are that I like ya, too, O.P. How about we catch a date after we’re off work?”
• “That would be lovely.”
• And then, a kiss.

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• So, they’ve already bonded and performed the ceremony on Cybertron to become conjunxes; conjunx ritus. But, they have a close relationship with earth and friends on earth, and getting married is a big deal. So, they go to earth and end up having Sari help them with a ‘wedding’ that’ll be televised for the humans.
• It’s a grand spectacle at a beautiful rose garden, probably a spring wedding since Jazz and OP both prefer neutral weather. Ratchet officiates the wedding, Bulkhead and Bumblebee get the best energon and oil on Cybertron and run the bar/catering. 
• Don’t worry, they get regular food and drinks for the few human guests, too. 
• They aren’t really sure about who should play bride/groom since they don’t have such roles on Cybertron. They both wear suits and get walked down the aisle, Jazz by Prowl (yes he’s alive for this let me have it) and Optimus by Sentinel (who he’s repaired his best friendship with by this point). 
• As the most mentally stable characters in the cast, everything they do is relatively normal. They go through the ceremony, with Optimus having some long, beautifully written vows. Jazz’s are much shorter but just as good.
• All of the Autobots cry, LMAO. Ratchet, Sentinel, and Prowl are just really good at hiding it. Optimus cries more than anyone because “it feels like when we bonded all over again, and this was such a beautiful event for the humans to let us take part in”. Jazz just chuckles at his mate’s emotional state and wipes his tears with a smile. 
• Sentinel Prime probably gets drunk and slips out of the ceremony with someone totally unexpected and equally as drunk like, idk, Bumblebee lmao. No one ever talks about it. They both always remember it.
• Prowl and Ratchet are the parents, making sure everything goes perfectly. Anyone who dares mess anything up will get thrown out by them immediately. They’re determined to make the day perfect.
• Bulkhead is just having a good time, floating around and making sure everyone else is doing well.
• Blurr is there, too, and mostly hangs around Bumblebee and Bulkhead, not one for crowded events like this but happy for his friends.
• Overall, it’s very good and actually peaceful, though.... When the Autobots party, they party hard. It gets a little crazy after the actual ceremony. Imagine what you will o///o

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• They don’t have an official honeymoon. No vacation, no fancy destination, no trips, no fine dining or days spent rolling around entangled in the berth.
• Heartbreaking, I know, but Optimus is Magnus at this point and is very diligent about not missing work. Their bonding ceremony and earth wedding were both scheduled around work/during the short amount of free time they have, or tied into work somehow.
• Optimus won’t miss a day as Magnus for anything unless someone is actually dying. He did tell Jazz about his anxiety missing work before they bonded, and Jazz was pretty cool about it. Jazz isn’t as punctual or as much of a worrier and thinks that Optimus’s advisor would be able to fill in for a few days for a honeymoon, but if Optimus is worried about it, that’s valid and he doesn’t push boundaries.
• A honeymoon is a fun, lovely sounding concept for Jazz, but he’s not super bummed about it. They have all the time in the world, and he knew what he was getting into when he bonded with Optimus; hardworking, punctual, straight-laced, doesn’t want to miss a thing when it comes to his duties. 
• Optimus even said that if it was REALLY important to Jazz, he would make it work and they could go on a small trip when things calmed down a bit, but Jazz denied the offer, saying that the sentiment was enough. 
• After the bonding/wedding, Sentinel rags on Optimus for “not even being able to give your conjunx a proper honeymoon” and promptly gets smacked upside the head by Ratchet. 
• But it does make Optimus feel bad, so... He tries his best to come up with an alternative, even if it’s not the best. 
• He tries really hard to make one of his regular work days as short as possible; speeding through paperwork, rushing through meetings, skipping his fuel break so he can get stuff done early, rescheduling a few things.
• For the first time ever, he manages to get home before Jazz and make something up on their balcony; a couple of blankets laid out, a bottle of the most expensive oil he could get his servos on with fancy frozen glasses, Jazz’s favorite energon candies, and a radio playing Jazz’s favorite tunes. 
• He then goes to wait nervously by the front door, and when Jazz gets home, he sees Optimus there before him and initially things that something is seriously wrong before Optimus leads him to the balcony, all huge grins and blushing cheeks.
• “I... I know it isn’t the nice, expensive get away that you deserve for our honeymoon, but even though you said you didn’t need anything, I wanted to at least do something small for you. I love you.”
• “I love ya, too,” Jazz just smiles and sits down on the blanket with him on the balcony, helm on his shoulder. 
• They spend the night together, relaxing for once and enjoying the oil and energon, watching the stars and pointing out constellations to each other, knowing that they won’t get the opportunity to have nights like this very often.
• They literally procrastinate on going to bed because they don’t want the makeshift honeymoon to end.
• They may or may not do things on the balcony.

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• Blitzwing doesn’t have too many convictions or really an allegiance like some of the others do, so he doesn’t have the same moral dilemma that the others have.
• He just exists for the most part, it just so happens that there’s no being neutral in a world where there’s only Decepticons and Autobots, and you have to join one or the other or you’re persecuted by both. Due to his circumstances with all three of his personalities in play, the Decepticons were the easier choice since they wouldn’t judge him as much for who he was, even if they were a bit morally dubious- he didn’t mind that, even.
• Being in Megatron’s good graces works out for him. He gets to take out his feelings on those who would persecute him if they were to have power, he has a good career, he’s in a very stable position in life, and he’s made friends in Lugnut, Megatron, Shockwave, Blackarachnia, and even Starscream.
• Overall, he’s content, even with the chaotic adventures on earth.
• You’re a tiny little thing, but unlike some of the other Autobots, he doesn’t hate you when he meets you, even if you’re weak. You don’t have that entitled, self-righteous, judgmental air about you that the other ones do, but he doesn’t love you right off the bat or anything either.
• But, he can’t deny that he pays a lot of attention to you when he sees you, nor can he deny that he sees you doing the same to him.
• You two start performing small services for each other without realizing it, even in the heat of battles between your factions.
• For example, one time, you fall off of a building and Blitzwing, in his jet mode, catches you and flies you back down safely to the ground before anyone can see before demanding you tell no one, setting you down, and flying away. 
• Another time, he overhears the little yellow Autobot ragging on him for having his multiple personalities- harmless jokes that he’s used to by now, but they’re annoying- only for you to cut him off and chew him out; “He may be a Decepticon, Bee, but that’s inappropriate! You have no idea what he’s been through or why he’s like that, what if he was just born that way? It’s not something he can help, so don’t make jokes about it. You’re better than that.”
• He may or may not develop a little crush on you after hearing you stick up for him, something that no one has ever done for him before- not even his Decepticon comrades.
• One night, he needs some time away from the underground base and flies to a local skyscraper in Detroit, landing on top and transforming back into his regular form, only to be interrupted by the sound of something- or, someone, scaling up the length of the skyscraper.
• “It’s you!” You cheer, oddly excited as you join him on top of the building, fearlessly walking up to him and peering up to meet his dust rose optics with excited blue ones. “I finally caught you alone, Blitzwing, I- I know this is sudden, but you just... Seem different from the others. I’d kill to talk with you privately, y’know- learn more about you, and... Let you learn more about me, too. I’ve always wanted to, but the others have always been around so I’ve just never gotten the chance. I like you... I like you a lot.”
• “What, you think I’m nice or something? That’s priceless!” Random laughs at you before his face changes, and at that, you blink in surprise, but don’t flinch away like most others would when you’re faced with an angry red.
• “You don’t know what you’re getting into with me, do you, little Autobot? You’re bold to assume that I’m going to go soft for you!” Hothead yells and bends down to get in your face, only for you to caress his helm in your tiny servos.
• “I don’t want you to go soft for me. I just want to know more about you. Is that so wrong?”
• His face changes to Icy.
• “I suppose not,” He murmurs and looks away, pale blue cheeks dusted pink. “If you want to know me, then I’d like to know you as well. Stay for a while.”
• And so, you do, the both of you sitting on top of the skyscraper and staring up at the night sky, telling each other your pasts, stories, fun facts, hopes, and dreams until sunrise and starting what would be a weekly tradition between the two of you.

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• They’re at this concert that he doesn’t really want to be at, just him and Sari. It’d loud, crowded, and too many people have come up to him asking for his autograph and pictures. 
• He politely obliges, but is also incredibly anxious; anxious about protecting Sari in the midst of this mess of adults who could easily trample her, about being a literal giant who is probably blocking the view, anxious about the fact that Isaac was kind enough to pay for them to go and he had no way of paying him back.
• Bumblebee and Bulkhead are cuddling in a seat somewhere in the crowd, and Ratchet and Prowl are back at the base because they didn’t want to come. 
• Optimus is in the very front with Sari on his shoulders, spark slamming in its chamber as the opening act ends. The music is reverberating through the huge outside area as you show up on stage, and his optics go wide in awe, as this is his first time seeing you in person.
• Him and Sari actually bonded over your music when he first came to earth. You were one of the only human artists he’d liked, so he had seen all of your music videos, memorized all your songs and their lyrics, watched every interview you’d done and admired your work. It was absolutely insane to see you on stage, especially with Sari there, as she was an even bigger fan than he was.
• You start performing and he swears he feels his spark swell. Your voice is even more beautiful in person, and the sight of you all dressed up and in the flesh, singing your heart out is especially captivating to him. At one point during the chorus of one of your songs, you stop and move to the front of the stage, tilting the microphone down to him.
• Him and Sari sing the line into the mic, and the crowd cheers and continues, but he swears you looked at him with blushing cheeks and something sparkling in your (e/c) optics when you did that.
• Eventually, the show ends and they use their VIP passes to get backstage. Tons of other fans are back there talking to you and some others, but eventually, you work your way out of the crowd and approach him and Sari. 
• First, Sari talks to you, and you have a very enthusiastic conversation with her about your music, her and her hobbies, etc before signing the t-shirt Sari is wearing with the cover of your most recent album on it.
• Then, you turn to him with a smirk.
• “Hey, handsome, need an autograph?” You don’t even ask before lifting yourself up to sign his chestplates- thankfully, with a dry erase marker. Your name is scrawled out across his body, and a weird part of him wants to keep it there forever. “What’s your name?”
• “O-Optimus Prime, and you are?” He stammers, voice cracking, and Sari, who is still on his shoulder, laughs at him. “W-Wait, no, I know your name! I’m a huge fan, really... Forgive me, I- I’m a little flustered, I just-”
• “Well, Optimus Prime, here’s my number,” You grin and write your number on his palm without even asking before winking at him. “Gimme a call sometime- I can tell you want to, handsome.”
• And, of course, he does give you a call- as the humans would do, he waits a couple of days and gives you a ring, and the two of you start setting up dates, those of which have to be kept very secretive and private to avoid paparazzi, but he doesn’t mind it.
• Optimus being Optimus, he falls in love with you very quickly. You’re charming and bold, confident and fiery, passionate and loving, direct and open- a lot of things that he isn’t, and he loves you for it. 
• The two of you develop a great, dynamic relationship, and everyone loves it. Y’all are in those celebrity magazines all the time, and of course, y’all have a whole ship fandom. 

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• Optimus Prime: Lapras 
• Prowl: Greninja 
• Ratchet: Plusle 
• Bumblebee: Shinx
• Bulkhead: Tyranitar 
• Arcee: Jigglypuff
• Blurr: Marill
• Jazz: Aurorus 
• Sentinel Prime: Lugia
• Ultra Magnus: Arceus 
• Megatron: Hydreigon 
• Starscream: Woobat
• Blitzwing: Combee
• Lugnut: Carkol
• Swindle: Lunala
• Lockdown: Umbreon
• Shockwave: Chandelure 
• Soundwave: Noivern
• Blackarachnia: Araquanid 
• Wasp: Beedrill

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• After the confession, your relationship comes very naturally like it always had; ride or die, partners in crime, soulmates, will fall in love again in your next lives type of shit.
• Swindle’s main love language is gift giving with physical affection as a close second. He’s incredibly cheap when it comes to spending and expects anyone who’s doing deals with him to pay incredibly high prices for whatever he is selling/give him incredibly low prices for whatever he’s buying. 
• Regardless of that, he loves lavish, expensive gifts with a lot of thought put into them. He needs a new part and you buy it for him without him even having to ask? He eyes a new flavored energon and you offer to get him some to share? He’s over the moon, and it’s how he knows you care. He’s a very “actions not words” kind of mech.
• Of course, he knows he can’t expect to receive and not give, so he’s buying you the best EVERYTHING. Your shared berth is the best quality, any hotel you stay at on your travels is five star, he only gives you the finest oil and energon, buys you crazy expensive jewelry from other planets, etc. If you need or want something, it’s yours, and you’re the only one he’d ever consider doing that for.
• Onto physical touch, it’s another action thing that shows him how much you care. His favorite thing is to hug you from behind and rest his chin on the top of your helm, arms around your tiny waist pulling you back into him. He could stay for hours like that.
• Any time you’re in public, he doesn’t care that PDA might be seen as weak or gross or unprofessional. At the very least, he at least wants a servo on your thigh or one of his pinkies linked with one of yours.
• Will carry you around on his back and run around the store for fun when shopping.
• Swindle is also a huge cuddler. He loves that, since you’re a minicon, you’re so much smaller than him that he can just... Absolutely dwarf you in size, especially when you’re laying down together. His favorite cuddling positions are spooning with him as the big spoon and you as the little spoon, and him laying on his back with you laying on his chest. 
• You guys really don’t fight, but on the rare occasion that issues come up, he doesn’t yell. One of the few in the cast who can sit down and calmly communicate his feelings with you, but also doesn’t like to sit on conflict or have it be a long term thing, so he wants to solve it with you before the night ends so you can go to sleep together at least.
• Can’t sleep now unless he’s touching you. Doesn’t like to refuel alone now, either. If you call in sick or aren’t feeling well, he won’t go to work and will stay home to take care of you, but also because he’s clingy.
• That’s about it for now. Hope you enjoyed!

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• Wasp is suuuuper jealous and emotional, man, but I can’t even blame him. 
• Post-canon, you’re an Autobot who was on Team Prime, and Optimus goes with you to recover and start rehabilitating Wasp and Blackarachnia. 
• Blackarachnia, despite her issues, is mentally there and adjusts pretty fast. Wasp needs a lot more help.
• Eventually, though, you’re all back on Cybertron, they’re both in therapy, and things start to get better little by little. 
• You and Wasp develop a romantic relationship. Everyone is a bit wary, but supportive and encouraging in their own ways. Optimus Magnus expresses concerns that Wasp may not be ready for such a thing yet, but you shrug him off, saying that Wasp can’t wait forever to try to be happy again and that you’re willing to give him a chance. 
• It manifests in little, subtle ways at first. Whenever anyone else is around, Wasp is insistent on holding your servo, being right next to you, and refuses to be separated from you- it’s an anxiety thing, as he doesn’t trust anyone else yet. 
• He doesn’t like being alone at the house without you, and if you’re not there, he wants you to call or text him back quickly. 
• Will glare/hiss at others if they’re around/too close to you. Everyone tries to be understanding of him, but they (Ratchet and Optimus, mainly) also express concern for you.
• It’s all stuff that’s sorted out in therapy and through lots of open communication, but Wasp just hasn’t ever had anything good that’s stuck around for too long and he’s scared of losing you, and that’s why he’s constantly jealous and clingy, as well as untrusting of the others.
• You start to understand him better, and so do they. Wasp slowly adjusts and begins to trust the Autobots again. You guys couldn’t be more proud of him.
• Not everything is perfect, though. He’s still a very jealous personality that has to be calmed down a lot and can’t handle competition. You just have to be there to give him lots of smooches and assure him that everything is okay and that you won’t leave him for anything <3

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• Starscream: Hates that, while he was by himself and already struggling to get your affections, he now has a ton of competition. Gets angry and will use brute force to make them all go away from you, as well as bitter insults and lies, and whatever else, but mostly clever schemes to distract them/make them think you’re actually somewhere else. 
  
  
• Dirge: Doesn’t understand why the other clones think they can have you, like... What the hell? You’re his and no one else’s. He is a selfish, greedy bastard and will straight up tell the others to fuck off of you because you’re his. Will steal you away from them and try to claim you as much as possible.
  
  
• Slipstream: She’s confused as to why the others are even options. Starscream is an idiot, and the others are one-dimensional. Thankfully, she actually has some tact and the most success with you, as instead of participating in the fighting or treating you like an object, she’s able to actually charm you into spending time with her and developing a close relationship with her. 
  
  
• Ramjet: Will lie to you however he can to convince you that he’s the one you should choose. You’re interested in this thing? Oh, so is he. You want this thing that he can’t afford? He’ll buy it for you! You’re interested in one of the other clones, or worse, Starscream himself? Actually, that clone did this HORRIBLE thing to him, and you should stay away! Very good at fabricating lies and distracting the others to get time with you. 
  
  
• Skywarp: Absolutely terrified of you choosing one of the others, but also hates confrontation, especially if it’s physical. When it comes to fighting over you, he’ll participate in some of the verbal battles and try to go behind the others’ backs to have alone time with you, but he withdraws when the attention is on him/he faces their wrath and it starts to get physical.
  
  
• Sunstorm: Wants you to step on him LMAO. Literally worships you. Constantly praising and loving on you, super affectionate, will try to bribe the others into spending less time with you with sweet words and offers. Great at buttering you up and getting you to do things with him/be more accepting of his advances. 
  
  
• Thundercracker: Why wouldn’t you want to be with him? Obviously, he’s the best out of all the Starscream clones, so it makes sense that he’s the one you’d choose; he’s the most attractive, the smartest, charming... What is there not to love? He doesn’t even really try lmao, just flaunts himself around and assumes that you’re going to fall for him, then gets mad when you don’t.
  
  
• Thrust: A jealous bastard from helm to stabilizing servo. He’s pissed off that you so much as bat an eye at any of the others and will do whatever he can to get your attention on him. Insults the other clones on attributes of theirs that he actually wishes he himself had and thinks that you’re more interested in all of them than in him, but will try to fight for you anyway.

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• When Optimus has his sparkling, you’d better believe that sparkling is the absolute light of his life; cherished, spoiled, adored, doted on, babied. 
• Optimus is Magnus at this point in his life and strives to make Cybertron better for the little sparkling he’s raising so that they can grow up peacefully and have an easier upbringing/young adulthood than he did. 
• Political corruption, war, crime, all gone or significantly lowered.
• The sparkling is also just... Spoiled. They have the finest energon, the best medical care, a beautifully decorated house/room, and top tier education provided to them as they’re raised.
• Because of that, they also grow up pretty... Confident. Optimus is just glad they’re not insecure like him, but at the same time, it can be a bit too much because it borders arrogant.
• He admires them, though. They’re strong, intelligent, and most importantly, compassionate, always trying to help others- even with their slight arrogance, they’re a good soul.
• For whatever reason, his sparkling thinks he’s just the coolest mech and wants to be just like him, which Optimus honestly dreads. He was hoping his sparkling would lead a peaceful life as a medic or an archivist or an artist or a teacher; something like that, but they want to be like him despite knowing everything he’s been through.
• And, to be like him- a member of the Elite Guard, potential war hero, potential Magnus material- they have to go through the Autobot Academy to receive the proper training to start off in the Elite Guard.
• When his sparkling tells him what their dreams are, he wants to try to convince them to change their mind but thinks better of it. Primus forbid he take the wrong steps and make a little Sentinel Prime by accident.
• He’s changed the structure of the Elite Guard and a lot of accountability laws to prevent what happened to him when he was young happening again, but he knows that everything there isn’t perfect yet and doesn’t really want his sparkling to join.
• He doesn’t directly tell his sparkling not to do it or scold them, but he does ask why they’re so passionate about a career field that’s hard, difficult, and dangerous when they have so much talent and intelligence that they could use to do just about anything else.
• “What do you think? I want to be just like you if not better, sire, and I need to prove myself to do that! This is what I’ve been waiting for.”
• Okay, Optimus thinks. He can respect that. 
• So, he allows it. He helps his sparkling with the application process, helps them train, and tells them what to pack in their bags and what to expect when they go. 
• When his sparkling goes, he may or may not make the Elite Guard staff do a lot more update reports and install cameras for, uh... Security reasons. He totally isn’t spying to make sure that his baby is okay or anything like that. Not at all!

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• I read somewhere that Swindle is insecure about his height because, as a former Autobot, his frame runs smaller than basically any other Decepticon out there. 
• As you’d imagine, some of the Decepticons are pretty cruel, and he gets teased a lot. He laughs it off and makes jokes, charming and suave as ever, of course, but it does hurt him a little bit, and it makes him insecure about his size. 
• You know how he feels. As a minicon, you’re smaller than EVERYONE, and you were regularly doubted back when you were working with Megatron and his high command before meeting Swindle.
• He doesn’t really talk about it. While he’s not overly guarded and defensive like some of the others, not prideful or easily embarrassed, his size is a sensitive subject.
• And, honestly, the whole size thing is one of the many reasons he loves you so much.
• Unlike a lot of other potential suitors in the Decepticon faction, you’re smaller than him, which he enjoys greatly. It makes for being able to carry you around, hold you however, easy cuddling, etc.
• It’s also very practical in your daily lives. He can literally use you as a throwing weapon if you ever get into fights, and you can get into small spaces to retrieve things that he wouldn’t otherwise be able to. 
• No, but really, he adores you and isn’t above teasing you- that’s just how he shows his love, after all. Will make jokes about you being little/tiny, cute, his little angel, etc. You blush and deny it, but he knows you love it, too.
• You also just make him feel better about it because you never bring up how comparatively small he is to the others and always seem to be commenting on how big, strong, tall etc. he is. 
• He absolutely adores you. Not only do you help him with his insecurities, but you’re just fun and cute to be around, too. 

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• Optimus Prime: Pole Dancing (maybe with a partner?)
• Prowl: Ballet
• Ratchet: Not the type to want to do a talent show, ever. If he had to do something, it would probably be a cynical sort of stand up bit
• Bulkhead: Improv Art
• Bumblebee: Baton Twirling (he’s great with his hands/has awesome optic-servo coordination)
• Sentinel Prime: Singing (bad at it)
• Jazz: Singing (good at it)
• Ultra Magnus: Playing Piano
• Megatron: Reading His Own Poetry
• Blitzwing: Ventriloquism
• Lugnut: Impersonations
• Starscream: Magic (bad at it)
• Swindle: Magic (good at it)
• Lockdown: Weapons Show 
• Shockwave: Cool Science Show/Experiment
• Soundwave: Plays Guitar
• Blackarachnia: Trained Animal Show
• Wasp: Lights Show

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• They’re the couple that no one expects to get together, not because they’re drastically different or hate each other or anything, but just because it’s... Unpredictable. 
• They’re just very unexpected, tbh, so no one expects or suspects it, which is why it works perfectly.
• They manage to keep it a secret with no problems whatsoever. No one looks at them and thinks they’re dating, sleeping together, in love, conjunxed etc. They just do it behind everyone’s backs and no one knows any better because they assumed Blitzwing would be single forever and that Starscream would either date an Autobot or maybe, like, Megatron. 
• It starts with the two simply bantering while against each other. As someone who’s defected from Megatron, Starscream is basically wanted and always ends up tumbling into Megatron’s schemes, so Blitzwing has no problem trying to apprehend him, or so he thinks.
• He actually ends up being rather conflicted about it because Starscream is an old friend. He’s someone Blitzwing can laugh with, someone who accepts and gets along with all three of his personalities. Starscream is weird like him and seems to understand him better than Lugnut, who was more of a one track (Megatron) mind, or Megatron, who was a bit prickly and hard to converse with. He knows that Starscream isn’t trustworthy by any means, but he doesn’t hate him and doesn’t want to see what would happen to him if he were captured by Megatron.
• So, he purposefully but tactfully goes easy on the traitor. He’s fully capable of wrecking Starscream in a 1v1, but he never does, just doing enough to hold his own while pretending that he’s struggling and really not. Megatron scolds him for not taking care of Starscream a lot, but it never gets him in serious enough trouble to care.
• During battles, there’s lots of teasing and banter between the two. Blitzwing knows that he’s developing a crush when he feels himself get excited at the thought of fighting Starscream again, turns hot when Starscream touches him, starts having dreams about him at night and daydreaming about him regularly, etc.
• Meanwhile, Starscream has been simping for him since they met on Cybertron. At first he just thought Blitzwing was hot and tried to flirt with the triple changer (badly. he’s not good at flirting with anyone he actually likes. it was so bad that Blitzwing was completely oblivious and told him to get checked for a space virus bc he was acting weird) but then when they got to earth and were separated, only for Blitzwing to be oddly kind and talkative with him during battles, it gets emotional.
• Starscream isn’t stupid and figures out very quickly that Blitzwing is going easy on him because they’re old friends and he knows the mass amount of damage that Blitzwing is capable of, and the most he’s ever left with from a fight with Blitzwing is a scrape or two and, at worst, a dent. 
• One day the two actually catch each other in private and Starscream grabs Blitzwing by the shoulders, demands to know why he’s being so kind to him (even if he himself does it in return); “What, do you think I’m weak or something?”
• His crush is a fact that he’s kept a secret until now because of their circumstances, but the stupid words from Starscream make his face switch from Random to Hothead so he can go, “Are you stupid!? It’s because I’m falling in love with you, you stupid aft!”
• They both just sit there, stunned as his face switches again, this time to Icy, whose normally pale blue cheeks are bright red. 
• “A-Ah, I see... Well, o-of course you have no choice but to fall for my, uh, irresistible charm! Luckily for you, I sh-share your sentiment.”
• Starscream’s response is shaky and full of stutters, and Blitzwing can’t help but notice that Starscream seems to be supporting his own weight with his servos still on the triple changer’s shoulders, but he figures it’ll do, and that they’ll figure out how to maintain a relationship regardless of their complicated circumstances.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Incredibly sweet and gentle, especially considering that he can get a bit rough without meaning to. Any bite marks are disinfected and covered up, and he always makes sure to drag you to the bathroom to clean you up; runs you a bath, washes you, etc., makes you eat smth small and drink some water. 

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): He’s not that into his own body, but his favorite part of it is his lips/mouth because he gets compliments on how pretty his lips are all the time and loves that he can kiss/please you with it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): Not really into his own transfluid or anything like that, but is totally into yours.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): ^He won’t admit it, but as I just mentioned in point C, he loves your cum/transfluid. Wants it on him, in his mouth, inside of him if you’re able to provide that. Obsessed and nasty- if you can squirt or cream, he wants that too and will lap up every drop of it, but he’s too shy to tell you. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He doesn’t do casual sex unless it’s an ongoing commitment with a close friend, which has happened maybe once, and he’s only been in a couple serious relationships. So, he’s done it a few times with two or three others maybe, but he’s not crazy experienced. Knows the mechanics and just needs some help tailoring what little experience and knowledge he has to fit your preferences, but he’s very eager to please and picks up quickly on what you do and don’t like.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): Him on top of you with your legs over his shoulders; makes him feel like he’s in control, and he likes watching your face and your body during it. Sometimes, he gets self-conscious about the faces he makes during sex or how is own body looks, though, so he has no problem making you lay flat on your stomach to fuck you. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): Usually pretty serious because that’s just how he is, but won’t hesitate to make humor out of a situation if you’re upset or need a distraction in the moment. Will make tons of jokes afterwards during pillowtalk, though.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): Okay, for all of you reading, this is the first one of these I’m doing. Transformers don’t have body hair, so I’m just going to not include H in these, LOL. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Literally a Romeo, minus the preying on a young teenager part. Incredibly romantic and good with his words, definitely makes you feel like you’re the most loved person on the planet. Probably enjoys the intimacy and physical touch more than the actual sex itself. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): If he’s single and content, not really pining after anyone, focused on work, he hardly ever masturbates/self-services. But, if there’s a special someone in his life that’s good at getting him riled up, he’s doing it a lot to relieve himself, as in multiple times a day. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Biting/marking/posession; he likes reminding you that he’s his. His sex life is a very private thing and he doesn’t want it aired to the public or anything, so he puts them on spots that you can cover up but makes them very large and visible on spots like your chest, tummy, inner thighs etc. so that every time you change clothes, shower, or glance at yourself in the mirror, you’ll remember who you belong to. Similar thing with the breeding kink that I just know he has; it’s a marking/claiming sort of thing, and he’s also weirdly turned on at the thought of a domestic, happy life and family with you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): On his bed, in his room, with the door locked. He’s kinda vanilla when it comes to this kind of thing because he’s afraid of getting caught but were there ever an opportunity for the two of you to have outside sex in a completely secluded place with no chance of anyone discovering you, he would love that assuming that the weather is decent.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Sometimes just looking at you does it, but Optimus is good at restraining himself. What really gets him going is you trying to turn him on purpose; just the thought that you want to see him worked up, spike pressurized and face all flushed for you, is enough for him to get turned on for the sake of pleasing you and also because it’s just super nice to feel wanted.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Public or group sex. One, he’s super possessive and doesn’t want anyone seeing what’s his in such a vulnerable position, and two, he’s self-conscious and easily embarrassed- doesn’t want others to see his spike, his valve, the face either of you make during sex, etc. Too humiliating for him. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Self-conscious about his body and hesitant to receive, but will do it if you want to- won’t ever ask for it or push you to do it, though, even if he finds himself craving it. However, he really loves giving for a multitude of reasons; your thighs squeezing around his helm, your hands gripping his finials, the way you ask for it so sweetly, how your voice cries out for him, the way you taste, the feeling of your juices on his lips and glossa, the look in your eyes when you shyly peer down at him, etc. He’s super into it and will occasionally drag you to the bedroom just to give you head.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): He can do both! A very flexible mech, this one. It really just depends on how it started. He was the one who initiated and he wants to show you how much he loves you? Slow and sensual. You teased him all day to get him riled up and ready to punish you? Fast and rough. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Hates quickies and won’t do them. He really appreciates taking his time with you and actually enjoying sex because a big part of that for him is the intimacy and emotional connection, and he doesn’t ever want that to be rushed.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Won’t ever take serious risks and is normally one to play it safe, but he’s all for experimenting with anything except for public/group sex as long as it’s with you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): Lasts an average amount of time, but can go for a few rounds. Honestly, OP is such a people pleaser that he’s just trying to match your pace. You cum quick and don’t have that much energy that night? Okay, he’ll do the work, finish with you or finish himself off on your ass after you’re done. You last a super long time and are absolutely insatiable? Okay, cool, he’ll go as many rounds as you need him to and do whatever you want. The more you praise him and beg him to do more, the more rounds he’ll last. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He doesn’t own toys because he’s terrified of someone finding them, but if a partner owns them, he doesn’t mind using them on you or himself (as long as they’re not anything dangerous or painful, of course). He ends up finding out that he actually really likes using vibrators on his valve and on his partner, particularly the kind that the other person can control with a remote so the two of you can watch each other fall apart while being the ones causing it.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): Not much of a tease, actually. He wants to please you and give you what you want, but if it’s a means to an end, he’s not above doing it. Something he really loves is making you beg for him and praise him, so he’ll prompt you “Am I making you feel good, baby? Tell me how good I’m making you feel, beg for more,” and if you don’t respond, he’ll resort to teasing you by slowing his pace or kissing that one sensitive spot you like to get you to do what he wants. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): He’s quiet enough so that no one else hears except for you, but he is incredibly vocal regardless of his phenomenal volume control. Broken moans and whispers of your name, groans and sighs, praises etc. are uncontrollably spilled out in the berth because he has no self-restraint and talks a LOT during sex. Any sound he makes is especially soft and delicate, minus the occasional growl or rough, gravely whisper in your ear. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He has a closeted (receiving) somnophilia kink/fantasy and would only tell someone who he’s been in a relationship with for a long time that he’s interested in it.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): Sigh... Like with H, Transformers don’t have clothes lmao. I could talk about their cocks ig but it’s hard to scale size considering that they’re all giant robots and idk the metric system, so I’ll probably leave this one out too. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Like with the jacking off thing, not very high if he’s single and not wanting someone in particular. But, if he’s crushing on someone or in a relationship, it’s incredibly high for that person specifically.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He doesn’t fall asleep quickly afterward at all. As mentioned in the aftercare thing, he’s very intense when it comes to making sure your physical and emotional needs are met, and he also just wants to get a lot of cuddling and staring at your gorgeous face in before he falls asleep. Plus, he doesn’t like recharging until you’re comfortably asleep, so it’ll take him an hour or two.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Decent with aftercare. Will wipe you down to make sure you’re clean of any transfluid or sweat, ask to make sure you’re okay, and talk with you as much as you want before bed.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite part of himself is his optics. He thinks they’re pretty and only really shows them to people he sincerely, honestly trusts. His favorite body parts of yours are your thighs because they’re very soft and squeezable, especially during sex.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): He’s not super into cum or transfluid but isn’t repulsed by it either; it’s just a bother for him to clean up after sex, lol.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Closeted, depraved bondage kink. He wants you to tie him up and use his body and wants to do the same in return. Won’t ask because he’s kind of embarrassed about it, lol.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Actually not experienced at all when he starts sleeping with you. He only sleeps with people he has a romantic relationship with and you’re his first. He takes a bit to get the hang of it, but tries his best and learns your body and what you like with time and patience.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): Reverse cowgirl because he can both get a great view of your ass, lift you up and down on him with his servos, and yank your hair. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He’s not one to joke during sex unless it’s teasing you about something, just because he thinks sex is a very serious, intimate thing. Will laugh at your jokes, though.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Tells you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you the entire time, will probably buy you flowers and treat you to a nice dinner beforehand and tenderly clean you up afterwards, not letting you lift a single finger. Incredibly intimate and romantic. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Doesn’t masturbate very often and only really likes doing it if you’re watching. Will send you a video of him doing it, if you want/

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Overstimulation, but only giving rather than receiving. He just loves watching you fall apart, clearly overstimulated and needing to rest/pause but still begging for more from him. You’ll be laying there as he goes down on you, having already finished twice, switching between “please, more” and “it’s too much”, and to him it’s the most erotic thing in the world. He might want to take pics/videos, if you let him. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): Outside! Are we surprised? Not at all!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Prowl is an ass/thighs kinda mech. Wear some tight pants or a skirt and some thigh highs and he’s an absolute goner. You sitting on his lap or brushing your ass past him will drive him absolutely nuts, and he’s squeezing it and your thighs almost constantly. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): He doesn’t have very many turn offs, but anything that he feels like could seriously hurt you is a big no; knifeplay, electricity play, etc. Anything else is on the table.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Loves giving and receiving equally, but sees it more as an every once in a while treat rather than a regular thing in your sex lives because he doesn’t want to overdo it and ruin the appeal. Decent at giving it, maybe a bit too focused on trying to make you finish instead of taking his time, but it works out. Adores when you eat out his valve or give him a bj and uses all of his self-restraint to keep his composure so he doesn’t accidentally buck his hips into your face.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Surprisingly enough, as slow and sweet as he usually is in your relationship, he prefers sex to be fast and rough. It’s just what he’s into; he loves the surprise on your face from how fast he can go, your little pleas and moans of it being too much/too hard/too rough even when you’re loving the overstimulation, etc. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Not into quickies- not because of the risk they usually involve or because he doesn’t like fast sex, but because he takes an incredibly long time to finish and a ‘quickie’ for you will probably just leave him edged lol.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Prowl is actually a huge experimentalist and will do just about anything. Willing to take risks, whether that be fucking in semi-public places, going to smack your ass/touch you when the others are around and he doesn’t think you’re looking, try bondage or impact play, etc. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): Prowl is incredibly in shape and durable. He’s satisfied after one, but that one round is... a very, very, incredibly super long one. Most of his partners would finish a few times just trying to get him to finish once.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He probably owns a vibrator or two, but that’s about it; loves using them on you and on himself but is a bit embarrassed to use them on himself in front of you. That would take a lot of coaxing and reassurance.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): Not a tease at all. You wouldn’t expect it, but Prowl is really ready to get straight to business when it comes to sex. He’ll do proper foreplay, of course, but he thinks it’s cruel to tease (unless you ask for it). If you tease him, it’ll drive him absolutely insane. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Not super vocal or loud. He has great self-restraint, and could make noises but is a bit too prideful/embarrassed to let it happen. The most you might hear is the occasional sigh or groan. He’s definitely stifling himself the hold time. If you manage to convince him to let loose, though, expect plenty of soft moans and desperate whispers of your name. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): Prowl reads shibari books/has the rope for it but is too awkward to propose doing such a thing in the bedroom. He’s waiting for you to ask.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Not very high unless you get him worked up on purpose.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): Prowl takes a bit to fall asleep, I’ve always headcannoned that he’s a bit of an insomniac. It’s better when he’s with you, but he needs cuddles and pillowtalk after sex and falls asleep around the same time that you do. 

Chapter Text

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Honestly, he’s the one needing aftercare lol. Desperate to refuel and cuddle before crashing.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body parts on both himself and on his partner are hips. On himself, his hips are very narrow and slim looking in a way that’s attractive, aerodynamic, and make his shoulders look bigger/stronger. On his partner, they’re beautiful whether they’re curved or straight or whatever else, and he loves holding them whether that be during a hug, cuddling, or sex.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): Super into your cum and he wants it all over him; on his face, on his spike, in his mouth, etc. He’s pretty depraved when it comes to that and won’t hesitate to ask or beg for it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Likes to be called insulting names in the bedroom; slut, whore, fuck toy, etc.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He’s slept around here and there to satisfy the urge. He’s fully capable of taking care of himself, but after a while, just jacking off and using toys is pretty lonely and lackluster and doesn’t at all compare to the touch of another. By the time he gets into a relationship with you, he’s very experienced and knows exactly what he’s doing when it comes to sex.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): He likes to lay on his back and support his weight on his elbows so he can look up at you with you on top, riding him, knees on either side of his hips. It’s a great view of your chest moving/your hips, and it feels incredible to be worked to completion by someone else.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): More serious because he’s focused on finishing lol.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Not the most romantic, tbh. Not like he’s cold or anything either, he’s just so focused on the lust and the actual sex that the romance escapes him. Do expect the occasional hurried, whispered “I love you” in the midst of it, though.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Jacking off all the time, 24/7. Ungodly horny all the time. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Edging, but only receiving. He needs constant relief because of his high sex drive, so obviously he needs that in the end, but he adores the smug smile of yours when you edge him, how much better it makes the overload feel when it finally comes, the teasing, etc. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): On the floor. There’s something special about sex that’s so fast, depraved, and rushed that you can’t even make it to the bed and end up stripping and fucking on the floor, even if it leaves him a little sore the next day.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): He just has an incredibly high sex drive and is constantly horny, but if you want him to be especially turned on, sit on his lap or toss your legs over his lap; he loves your legs and wants to be in between them/wants you to crush his helm with your thighs.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): He doesn’t want to dom/top. Doesn’t mind kind of taking control every once in a while, initiating, etc., but if you ask him to hard dom he won’t be able to do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Doesn’t mind receiving but prefers to give and is very good at it. He regularly asks you to sit on his face and ride it like you’re trying to suffocate him and will have you do that for as long as he can get away with. Incredibly skilled tongue/glossa.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): He likes it fast and rough, but wants you to take control and initiate that. He’s shameless and will literally beg for it; wants you to ride him like there’s no tomorrow while kissing him till you’re both breathless.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Blurr loves quickies! Honestly, he probably needs them. Will take refuel breaks to drag you home to have super quick sex before going back to work. Not only does he just need them to keep up with his sex drive, but the rushed, frantic, desperate pace of it all is thrilling to him as well.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Excited to experiment with you, but he doesn’t want to do anything super risky like having sex at his work place or outside, getting tied up, etc. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): He doesn’t last super long, but needs to be satisfied multiple times in one go and can go for multiple rounds.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He has an entire collection; dildos, vibrators, beads, etc. They’re all pretty expensive and nice quality given his job and ability to afford them, and he uses them on himself very frequently and loves his partner to use them on himself/themselves.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He’s not a tease at all, but secretly loves to be teased by you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Totally unashamed, incredibly loud and vocal; moaning, sighing, keening, the works. Probably even lets out sobs of pleasure when it’s particularly good. God forbid you two live with anyone else, because if you do, they’ve definitely heard your sex noises lmao. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He’d love to call you mommy/daddy or carrier/sire if you so asked him to.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Horny 24/7, it’s actually horrible to deal with for him lol. Before you, he had to hide away in the bathroom at least twice a day during work to get himself off/relieve the urge.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He falls asleep the second he knows you’re okay, but needs cuddles to do so. He uses a lot of energy during the day and during sex especially, so he needs more sleep than most others.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He’s not the most tender mech when it comes to this, but if you’re injured he’ll attend to it the best he can, and he always makes sure you clean up and go to sleep afterwards.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body parts on himself are his claws; he can gently wrap them around your throat, scrape you with them, etc. His favorite part of your body is your neck; it’s pretty, delicate, fragile, and as I just mentioned, he loves wrapping his claws around it, and also adores how he can watch you nervously swallow when he’s on top of youj.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): He loves sex with you but sees cum/transfluid as kind of a nuisance. Always lays a towel down before sex so there isn’t a wet spot, has wipes to clean himself off with afterwards on his nightstand, finishes inside you so that you’re stuck with that instead of him having to clean up wherever the hell his transfluid would have gone if he’d pulled out. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He watches tentacle porn and no one can convince me otherwise. The only one who knows is Megatron bc he has access to all their internet history, but he looks the other way and pretends he has no idea bc he doesn’t even know how tf to approach that. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Has had a FWB or two in his day (note: Megatron) and knows exactly what he’s doing.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): You tied to the berth spread eagle and him between your legs on his knees, absolutely towering over you and dwarfing you in size as he fucks into your much smaller body. It makes him feel strong and powerful, like he’s in control.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): Will tease you and make jokes about how desperate you’re being, but outside of that, he’s very serious and mechanical.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): He’s not romantic at all, hate to break it to ya. He’s a lot more focused on the sex and just isn’t a romantic mech in general.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Doesn’t masturbate because he just doesn’t like it or feel the urge to do so very often. It doesn’t even come close to real sex and just makes him feel unsatisfied, but he does like doing it if it’s in front of you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Just enjoys a very hard dom/sub dynamic with his s/o, him as the dom and them as the sub. He wants to tell them what to do, wants to make them desperate, wants to use and abuse them, blindfold them, tie them up, spank them, edge them, overstimulate them, make them cry, the works. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): His room or your room, lol. He doesn’t mind the idea of public sex or anything, but it’s just more comfortable to do it in his/your room on his/your bed that he’s used to and comfortable with.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Seeing you submissive/craving him and willing to do whatever he wants to get your release really turns him on and makes him want you.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Shockwave wouldn’t ever want to sub or lose the physical control he feels like he has over you in the bedroom. So, naturally, things like him being tied up or pinned down, him being collared or blindfolded, etc. are off the table.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Prefers receiving because he can control you by grabbing your hair/head, fucking into your mouth/grinding against your face, etc- it’s just an incredibly submissive position for you to be in. Doesn’t mind giving and will do it if you ask for it, though. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Slow and methodical, more than anything. He knows how your body works and when he goes into sex he has one of two goals; 1. to satisfy you, or 2. to entertain and satisfy himself. Sex is kind of just like a means to an end for him and he takes his time to do what he needs to in order to bring you both to completion.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Would do a quickie to satisfy you if you so needed it /or edge you during one to leave you wanton for a later, slower sexual encounter/ but he isn’t especially into them and doesn’t really appreciate the thrill, if that makes sense.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Game to experiment with you, but never wants to be in a position where he’s at risk of getting hurt or being the one getting teased. Doesn’t mind the risky things like public sex, knifeplay, bloodplay, etc as long as he’s in complete control of the situation.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): Only wants to go one round, but it is a very long, intense, steady round. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Not really into toys for himself, but loves those vibrating panties with the long distance controls that he can buy and make you wear because he can use the controller to tease you whenever he wants throughout the day, even if he’s not in the room with you. Also doesn’t mind leaving you tied up, laying with a vibrating wand positioned against your clit for as long as he wants/as long as it keeps him entertained for. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He is... actually the worst. Huge tease. If he knows you’re in the mood, he’ll purposefully make you wait as long as possible before you get your release. Sometimes, he’ll even go as far as to start getting you off, only to fake getting a call from Megatron and telling you he has to step away for a moment right when you’re about to finish. He likes seeing you worked up and desperate for it, mad at him for teasing you- it boosts his ego, makes him feel like you really need him, and it’s exhilarating. Don’t even try to tease him in return, though, because if you do, you’ll end up pinned to the bed and fucked until you can’t remember your own name. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Pretty quiet, but not because he forces it or anything; he’s just like that. Not super talkative and restrained enough not to make noises.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): Shockwave has tentacle mods that he got from Swindle for a ridiculously high price. He saved up for years to buy them.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Pretty low, tbh. He only really wants it if you initiate, and even then, he’s not always in the mood.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He usually waits for you to fall asleep after sex and then goes to work on something and recharges very little. If you’re lucky, though, he’ll sit in bed and cuddle you while doing his paperwork.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He does the bare minimum and then falls asleep. Soz.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own are his audial fins. He thinks they’re attractive and you compliment them all the time. His favorite part on you is probably your chest. He likes laying his helm on it and toying/nipping at/sucking on it during sex.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): Doesn’t like transfluid or cum that much, to be honest. Germaphobe hours.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He wants to be choked and will not say anything about being choked.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He’s not experienced... At all. He’s a bit insecure and hates being vulnerable, so it takes a lot for him to be able to sleep with someone and he doesn’t experience it until you.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): He’s classic and likes missionary, thinks it’s perfect because he loves your legs around his waist, being in control, able to pin your hands down, see your body and how it moves, how your face changes, kissing you and pulling your hair etc etc. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He makes a lot of jokes when things get too awkward or quiet- very goofy and wants to lighten the atmosphere for both of you. Has laughed once or twice at the noises made during sex.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Surprisingly enough, he’s actually incredibly romantic. Frequently, he’ll set up your bedroom with flowers and candles and wash/change the sheets, spray some air freshener, run a bubble bath and make it all sweet and special. During the actual moment, he likes looking into your eyes and telling you how beautiful you are and how much he adores you.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Does it pretty frequently, maybe once a day or every other day. Usually looks at pictures of you when he does.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Pretty vanilla, but if there had to be one, it would be praise. He praises you in the bedroom constantly and wants the same in return; “You’re doing so good,” “You’re so beautiful,” “I love how your face looks when we do it,” etc. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): The rooftop. It’s a weird one, but if no one’s around, he loves fucking on a flat rooftop or balcony area- just public enough to be thrilling, but doubtful that you guys will get caught. The fresh night air is nice and the scenery of the blanket of stars above you is romantic.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Just looking at you does it for him, but if you really want to get him going, wear some sexy lingerie or something- knowing that you want him and that you’re trying to impress him does something to him.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): It’s well known that he’s a germaphobe/scared of organic germs and while he’s lightened up on that by this point, he’s still not particularly fond of liquids, so any play with transfluid/cum, blood, spit, scat, etc. is a big no for him. He’s not here for it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Hates giving oral, not because he’s opposed to the actual action but because he’s insecure and afraid that he’s terrible at it. Once you give him some direction and tell him he’s doing good, though, he’s really excited to do it. In terms of receiving, he has no self-control but also a huge spike and will buck his hips up into your mouth and choke/gag you, so he tries to avoid letting you blow him, but doesn’t mind you eating out his valve.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Fast and rough, it’s just what works for him- it makes him feel more wanted and desired, craved, etc. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): He actually LOVES quickies because fast, desperate, sex is exactly what he likes.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Not the risky or experimental type at all and very rigid in what he does and doesn’t like, will and won’t try, etc. If you absolutely BEG for him to do something, though, he might entertain you. He’s just super scared of trying something or being vulnerable to you in the bedroom and having it go wrong because he doesn’t like to be embarrassed.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): He won’t admit it, but he’s a huge people pleaser and determined to last as long as you need him to. His stamina isn’t great, though, so while he may start out rough and fast and full of energy, by the end of it, he’s slowed down and gotten a bit more tender with it.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He’s too embarrassed to admit to having and using them, but he has a whole stash, mostly fleshlights and one or two little bullet vibrators, as well as a small set of beads. He won’t let a partner use them on him, but he’s more than happy to use toys to please a partner.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He tries to tease to be hot and dominant or whatever, but he isn’t actually very good at it and will fall apart within seconds, because the moment you beg or tell him to stop, he listens and gives you what you want- he can’t resist you, your body, and your needs, and it’s terrible. He also hates being teased and will cry tears of pent-up sexual frustration if you tease him. Do with that what you will.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Sentinel is embarrassingly, OBNOXIOUSLY loud in the berth room. It is ungodly. Moans of your name, sighs and gasps, the rare begging and pleading for what he wants if he’s especially desperate, rambling about how hot you are and all the things he’s going to do to you, etc. Pray that you never have sex while someone’s in a neighboring room because they’ll 100% hear you, and it doesn’t help that he has no regard for how hard he makes the headboard hit the wall when he’s fucking you. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He’s a switch! 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): He’s kind of a horn dog, wants it once a day but is fine with using his servo if you don’t want to do it that much. As horny and stubborn as he normally is, he’s flexible and considerate in that regard and doesn’t expect anyone to keep up with him.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): Lights out instantly, sorry. He will fall asleep within seconds and cling to you for cuddles all the while.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Very tender and loving. Pulls you to the bed and onto his chest after cleaning you up, gives you back scratches and a nice massage until you fall asleep on top of him.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own is his nose. It has a very strong, pronounced shape and he just thinks it’s an attractive feature. His favorite part of your body is your shoulders; they’re delicate and soft looking compared to his, and he finds it more attractive than anything. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): Obsessed with making you eat his transfluid and vice versa. Will scoop it up on his digits and push it into your mouth, watch and feel you suck and lick it off, then swallow it. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Closeted breeding kink that he’s too cautious to try under most circumstances (both giving and receiving). He’s also pretty embarrassed by it and would never dare tell a soul.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He’s had a long slew of relationships, hook ups, friends with benefits (Shockwave), and so on. He’s got plenty of experience and knows EXACTLY what he’s doing.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): His favorite is to pick you up and have you wrap your legs around his waist, push you up against the wall, and fuck you like that with you clinging to him. Him being able to hold you up makes him feel strong, and the fact that you’re just trapped there and forced to take it makes it even better. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He doesn’t like making jokes during sex because he feels like it takes away from it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Incredibly romantic, just as you’d expect, whispering lines that are like something straight out of one of his poems and fucking into your body between words.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Probably never jacks off. He’s old and doesn’t get the urge to do the do anymore, and with how busy he is, he hardly sees the point. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Likes to be called ‘sir’ or ‘master’, or even ‘Lord Megatron’ or sure. He’s not rough with it, but it turns him in more than anything and is a sure-fire way of getting sex from him. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): A bit of a weird one, but Megatron likes doing it in the bath/shower so you’re right there to clean off afterwards. It’s also hot, warm, and relaxing for the both of you. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Your smile and your eyes. There’s just a certain look you give him that makes him especially worked up.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Having sex without protection. He doesn’t want to risk catching something, giving something, or having sparklings/kids early.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Doesn’t mind receiving, but is always wanting to make you finish before him and prefers giving it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Slow and sensual for sure. He wants you to be splayed out under him for as long as he can last, to kiss up and down your body, to delve his digits into you and eat you out, to get you all worked up and ready for him before making romantic, heated love to you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): He’s neutral on quickies. He prefers sex slow and sensual, but if a quickie will get you both relief and if it makes you feel good and you want it, he has no problem dragging you into a storage closet between work meetings and doing you against the wall or stopping by your home on his refuel break and kneeling between your legs to eat you out before he has to go back. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): He’s willing to do literally ANYTHING for you. So, yeah- public sex, BDSM, etc., you name it and he’ll do it. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): He can do a solid one, average-length round before his old age kicks in and he needs a break. Willing to go multiple times in a day, though.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Not really into toys and would rather just do everything himself.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He’s a bit of a tease, but subtle enough that you can never tell whether or not he’s doing it on purpose.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Not a moaner or anything, but growling and groaning during sex isn’t uncommon. More commonly, he’s talking to you, whispering in your ear.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): Writes poetry about you and y’all’s sex and draws some really beautiful pictures of your nude form. Not necessarily lewd ones, just of you existing because of how gorgeous he thinks you are. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): As I’ve hammered in with previous points, he’s older, so it’s not that high. Sex is more of an expression of love and intimacy for him than it is about drive and physical relief. 

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He’s an old mech and sex takes a lot out of him, but he still wants to spend time with you. He has this bedtime procrastination thing where he’ll stay up late on purpose to spend time with you bc he never can during the day due to his job. He waits until he’s gotten his full dose of cuddles until he falls asleep, which takes a few hours if not the whole night.

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• You’re a member of Team Prime, so Ratchet is around you a lot. He is very observant and quick to pick up on the fact that you’ve got some deeper issues going on by just seeing how you act; grumpy, secluded, flinching/jumpy when others try to touch you, deflecting anyone’s concern with a defensive rudeness constantly.
• He understands and is worried for you a lot but doesn’t want to pry or make it worse, so he just leaves you alone. If he sees you panicking or lashing out, he tries to redirect and comfort you the best he can, but he doesn’t do much more than that. All he can do is lend an audial when you want it, and you never seem to want it.
• But then it happens for the first time. He’s recharging in peace for once, excited to catch up on rest when he’s startled awake by a tiny servo shaking his shoulder. He shoots up and almost attacks on instinct, only to see that it’s you. 
• Oh.
• He looks at you quizzically, waiting for you to say something. Is it an emergency? Decepticons? Health scare? ...Nope. All you do is open your arms and look at him rather pitifully, so he does the only thing he knows how in response to that and pulls you into his arms. He’s under the assumption that you must’ve had a nightmare and came to him for comfort, and while he’s unsure of why you opted for him instead of a gentler bot, he figures it’s because the two of you are more similar.
• He holds you throughout the night without a word, your body resting on his chest and his digits gently scraping up and down your back to soothe you. 
• Then he wakes up the next morning and you aren’t there. He almost thinks he imagined it... But then it happens another time, and then another, and eventually, it’s happening almost every night. He can’t deny that the recent intimacy has brought up some deep, untouched feelings inside of him that he’s long-repressed because you’re too vulnerable, too troubled, too defensive, etc. It starts to bother him because now, every time you’re there, his cheeks are red and his spark is slamming hard and fast against his chest. 
• You seem a little more at ease, though, and that’s all that matters to him, so he tolerates it for a while the best he can... at least until he reaches a breaking point.
• Optimus gets a gnarly injury during a battle that Ratchet has to tend to for a solid three days with no rest. Finally, the Prime is stable and Ratchet gets to rest... only for you to interrupt again. He does what he always does and holds you close to him, but it’s accompanied by him snapping, too; “Primus, (y/n), you really need to stop this. What’s the point?”
• “What’s that supposed to mean?”
• Annnnd a talk comes up, of course. Ratchet asks why you chose him, what your intentions are, etc etc. You basically confess that you’ve always liked him so he was just your go-to on instinct when your nightmares started getting really bad again and you needed touch/comfort to ground you. Plus, unlike the others, he knew not to bring it up and embarrass you, so you could let your guard down around him. 
• He tells you that he likes you, too, and the two of you start dating. He moves you into his room and you share a bed, which solves most of your problems. Your relationship is on the DL but you also don’t mind people finding out so everyone catches on pretty quickly. 
• Ratchet laughs at all your vulgar, fucked up humor when no one else will and you do the same for him. It works very well <3

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• Upon hearing that your dog was ill, Prowl was heartbroken. Animals on Cybertron are nothing like on earth because they’re infrequent and live a very long time. 
• Obviously, through dating you, he’s grown very attached to your dog as well; bringing him into the berth to cuddle with and sleep with, buying him toys and presents for every holiday, taking him on walks and to dog parks to play, bathing and grooming him- everything. Basically an adoptive dog dad. 
• But he knows that it isn’t about him, it’s about you, because it’s your dog who you’ve grown attached to and you’ve done everything within your means to take good care of him but he’s sick and there’s nothing else you can do.
• The last couple days, Prowl is with you, helping take care of the dog and giving him the best last few days possible; playing with him if he wants it, petting him constantly, feeding him human food like good meat and his favorite dog treats because they’re the only things he’ll eat right now.
• Prowl definitely cries in private a few times, and cries with you when he’s trying to comfort you. A couple of hours are definitely spent with you in his arms and the dog sprawled out across you guys’ laps. 
• When the time finally comes, you debate on changing your mind but Prowl has to convince you that it’s the best thing to do.
• It’s a very sad, solemn drive to the vet with you and the dog alone in the car and Prowl driving in his vehicle mode behind you. 
• You get there and it takes a while. You’re holding the dog the whole time, and both of you feel pretty guilty; your dog is just laying there, receiving your touch and comfort, hurting but unaware of what’s going on. 
• Tears are shed when you go into the room where it’s going to be done. Your dog is laid out on the table and you both say your goodbyes before the vet goes ahead and administers the euthanizer, you still holding your dog and petting him through it. 
• You’re sobbing the whole time. All Prowl can do is pull you into his arms and allow you to muffle the sobs against his chest.
• You get your dog (whether that be body or ashes) and make a nice memorial behind the plant; a little headstone and some flowers where you bury him. Lots of hours are spent crying over him sitting out there together.
• You and Prowl spend hours at home after that just talking about memories of your dog and looking through pictures of him, laughing, smiling. He’s there for whatever you need, makes you every meal for the next few days and is especially sensitive; does whatever you want and need and will make sure that the memory of your dog is kept alive in the best way possible.

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• Optimus Prime: You make him a cute blue one with snowflakes and a firetruck dressed up like a reindeer. It’s actually not that ugly, just super big and bulky. It brings him some comfort and his favorite types of gifts are homemade, so he wears it when you’re not around and he misses you because it smells like you.
• Ratchet: His is, expectedly, red and white like he is; full of depictions of Santa, who you have to explain to him, and completely and utterly hideous. Arguably the ugliest one. 
• Prowl: You make his black with reindeers on it, and it’s actually not that ugly because you know if it’s TOO ugly he won’t wear it. He ends up liking it and thinking it’s pretty precious, so he’ll wear it on occasion during the winter season just to make you happy. 
• Bumblebee: You tell him about the ugly Christmas sweater thing being a tradition on earth and he LOVES it, so you both make each other one. His is black and gold, obnoxiously sparkly and decorated with little toy Christmas ornaments. He wears it all the time, even when it’s off season. The one he makes you doesn’t exactly fit right and is super scratchy, but that’s okay. 
• Bulkhead: His is a green, abstract looking things, and you give him one of those Christmas light necklaces that actually lights up to wear with it. He’s amazed that you managed to make one his size and knows that it’s ugly but he loves it because you made it, so he wears it on both Christmas eve and Christmas. 
• Arcee: You go all out for hers. The sweater itself is plain and white, but you bedazzle it and glue on sequins, sparkly things, etc. in the shape of Christmas lights in a variety of bright colors. She adores it, doesn’t actually think it’s ugly, and wears it proudly every day of December; “Hey, guys, look at what (y/n) made for me! Isn’t it so pretty?”.
• Blurr: You make his powder blue with snowflakes! He isn’t into wearing clothes, but he likes it so much that he frames it and puts it on his wall because he wants you to know that he appreciates it but he also won’t wear it, so that’s how he improvises. If anyone comes into his room, it’s “My s/o is the best, they make me clothes (:” to anyone who’s willing to listen. Total show off. 
• Sentinel Prime: You make his as ugly as possible and it plays Christmas music, which he absolutely detests. He pretends he hates it, gags at it, etc. but secretly cuddles it at night. 
• Jazz: You make his play music like Sentinel’s, except he actually really enjoys that because he loves Christmas and thinks it’s cute. He’ll wear it to a Christmas party or something and when asked by the others what it is, he’ll gush about it, about you, explain the appeal, and talk about how cool he thinks earth holidays and traditions are. You may have made a mistake because he also totally wants one for New Years, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, 4th Of July, Halloween, and Thanksgiving and every other thing you celebrate on earth. AKA he wants an infinite amount of ugly sweaters and is praying you’ll provide.
• Megatron: His is gold with Decepticon logos and snowflakes on it, as well as a little glitter glue drawing of his vehicle mode that’s actually quite good. He won’t wear it but will keep it tied around his waist.
• Starscream: His has a picture of him on it and is hideous and he pretends he hates it; “What in the slag is this? It’s hideous! You expect me to wear this thing?” is what he says, but he’s blushing hard and has hearts in his optics because it even has holes for his wings and he absolutely is in love with it! Won’t wear it in public though, just cuddles with it at night.
• Blitzwing: You make a different color-corresponding sweater for each personality and each of them adore them in their own ways. Icy keeps his carefully hung and ironed in a closet to prevent any damage, Hothead uses his when he gets cold, and Random just wears his everywhere. 
• Lugnut: Unsurprisingly, his just has an uncharacteristically happy looking, festive Megatron with a Santa hat and an ungodly amount of green and gold Decepticon symbols. He adores it and wears it everywhere along with a Santa hat of his own to match.
• Shockwave: Expectedly, you make one with his face on it except you have him looking like a reindeer and it’s super duper ugly. He doesn’t understand the tradition but is smart enough to know that it must be a human thing and it’s just a kind gift from you, so he thanks you properly and thinks to order you an ugly sweater of your own so he can lie and say he made it for you lmao.
• Blackarachnia: Hers is purple with gold and black Christmas decorations and some lights hanging off of it. Actually not too atrocious and a cool color scheme imo, but she’s too embarrassed to read it and keeps it under the pillow on her berth.
• Lockdown: You make him one with an obnoxiously blitzed out sled on the front and Christmas song lyrics on the back. His reaction is very nonchalant but it makes his spark beat in his chest when he thinks about it; you clearly put a lot of time and effort into it. Afraid of damaging it when working considering his job, though, so he only wears it on the rare occasion that he’s home and keeps it hung up in a closet any other time. 
• Swindle: The one you make him is obnoxious and funny, labeled ‘I’ve got HO HO HOES’ and littered with ugly little sewn in dollar signs. He loves it and thinks it’s both hilarious and comfy (he’s more into wearing clothes than the others even though Cybertronians really don’t need them) but won’t wear it while working, so it usually stays folded up in a drawer.

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• Optimus Prime: Golden retriever
• Ratchet: Irish Wolfhound
• Prowl: Greyhound
• Bumblebee:  Shih Tzus
• Bulkhead: Newfoundland
• Jazz: Siberian Husky
• Blurr: Whippet
• Sentinel Prime: Shiba Inu
• Ultra Magnus: English Mastiff
• Megatron: Great Dane
• Lugnut: St. Bernard
• Blitzwing: Pit Bull
• Starscream: Jack Russell
• Lockdown: Coonhound
• Swindle: Chow Chow
• Shockwave: Poodle
• Soundwave: English Bulldog
• Wasp: Yorkshire Terrier
• Blackarachnia: Chihuahua

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• Optimus Prime: American Shorthair
• Ratchet: Ragdoll 
• Prowl: Siamese
• Bulkhead: Maine Coon
• Bumblebee: Bengal
• Blurr: Turkish Angora
• Sentinel Prime: Scottish Fold
• Jazz: Abyssinian 
• Ultra Magnus: Siberian
• Megatron: British Shorthair
• Starscream: American Wirehair
• Blitzwing: Norwegian Forest Cat
• Lugnut: Persian
• Shockwave: American Curl
• Soundwave: Russian Blue
• Lockdown: Ocicat 
• Swindle: Ashera 
• Blackarachnia: Devon Rex
• Wasp: Sphynx 

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Mostly just trying to make jokes to make you laugh and is the one in need of aftercare more than anything. He wants to be kissed half to death and praised for how good he did, given some oil and energon and cuddled with and talked to for hours.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own is his set of wings; they’re pretty, make him fly, and you touch/massage/clean them a lot. They’re touch sensitive and an erogenous zone, and he loves how much you love them. His favorite body part of yours is your lips because he gets to kiss them and just thinks it’s great. He wants them all over him, up and down his frame, worshipping his body.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): Wants to fill/paint your pretty face and body with his transfluid and probably take pictures because it both looks great and reminds him that you’re his. When it comes to your fluids, he’s actually pretty obsessed but won’t admit it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Pretends he hates humans but is obsessed with their bodily fluid in every sense of the term bodily fluid. Mostly spit and blood though. Do with that what you will, this mech is fucking nasty.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He’s actually kind of a whore (affectionate) bastard (derogatory) with a lot of experience, and in his processor, he knows what he’s doing, but he does panic and get fumbly the first few times you do something because he’s desperate to impress you and terrified of messing up.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): In the air... Yeah. He’s a bit of an exhibitionist, but not really. Will fly you high into the sky at night with his beautiful wings blazing and fuck you in the air, it makes him feel strong and he likes to show off how high he can fly.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He’s more humorous and makes lots of jokes in the moment! He mostly does it because he doesn’t like feeling super vulnerable or open and wants to keep the atmosphere light, but he also wants to reassure you that it doesn’t have to be perfect and make sure that you’re comfortable and having a good time.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): He’s not... The most romantic, to put it gently. He expresses the affection he has for you through the passion in his kisses but he’s not the best with his words when he’s getting serviced and isn’t exactly a prince charming.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): He doesn’t really masturbate a lot. Why should he have to do the work when someone else (you) can do it for him?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Spitting, masochism, impact play, body worship (receiving), hair/wing pulling (giving and receiving).

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): Megatron’s room LMAO.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Thrill/risk and anticipation both really get him going. If he’s fresh off a battle where he’s just offlined some Autobots, fresh off a prison escape, fresh off of successfully sabotaging Megatron, he wants to bask in his glory and make the thrill of it even better by fucking you in the riskiest place possible. (After he blew up Megatron in ep1, he probably fucked a partner in the warlord’s quarters on his ship)

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Starscream doesn’t have any hard limits except for being tied up. He doesn’t mind being submissive or even hurt in the bedroom, but he doesn’t want to be so vulnerable that he can’t move his own hands/arms and legs. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Prefers receiving because he’s a selfish bastard and doesn’t enjoy giving it because he’s embarrassed/afraid that he’s bad at it and won’t tell you. If you teach him, he’s neutral on doing it, though.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Fast but not necessarily rough, just desperate. He can actually be pretty sweet and sensual in the moment despite the frantic pace that he usually works at when it comes to intimacy.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Quickies work just fine for him, he likes them about as much as any other sex; sex is sex lol, he’ll take what he can get from you considering how gorgeous he thinks you are.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): The S in Starscream stands for slut and he will do basically anything you want. The two of you have snuck into Megatron’s room and fucked on his berth, on his throne, over his desk, etc. Megatron has no idea and for both of your sakes you hope he never finds out.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): Mans is very, VERY energetic and needy. One round? Uh, no. He wants to go like two or three, all of which are incredibly frantic and fast-paced. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He has an entire collection that he wants to use on both you and himself, mostly beads, rings, and some impact play stuff. Also a pair of kinky stasis cuffs that he got from an underground Cybertronian sex shop.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): Not much of a tease but will indulge himself every once in a while because he likes to see you squirm. Secretly loves being teased and edged by you but will never ask for it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Obnoxiously loud and whiny because he doesn’t care who hears, wants everyone to know what the two of you do to each other, and is too caught up in his own pleasure to so much as think about being embarrassed. If you tease him after the fact, though, he’ll deny it ever happened and get embarrassed with red cheeks and fluttering wings. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He wants you to spit in his mouth and make him swallow it. Has his dominant moments but is totally a sub; power-bottom here IMO.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): It depends on the day, to be honest. If it’s a regular but interesting day it’s pretty low, but if the day is either especially boring and he needs something to get him going or especially exciting and he has adrenaline coursing through his circuits that he needs to take out on you, he’s a fiend. 

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): It takes him a while. He gets too excited from the afterglow of sex to feel sleepy and is instead restless and talkative for hours on end. The two of you probably stay up for most of the night when you have sex.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): Super sweet and gentle. After you both finish, he gives you a long, loving kiss and pries his body from yours, then asks you if you need anything and does whatever you want after cleaning up. Will even change the sheets so you don’t have to sleep in the wet spot because he’s just that romantic.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own? His thighs, because they’re wide and strong like the rest of his legs and he loves that you can sit on them/in his lap and just rest there. His favorite body part of yours is your hair; he loves weaving his digits through it and pulling it during sex and playing with the strands outside of that sort of setting.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): He’s honestly super neutral on cum and doesn’t understand the kink/fixation. Whoops.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He wants you to call him ‘sire’/’daddy’ but has this internalized thing where he thinks it’s gross/wrong, so he won’t admit it. Also has had some very crazy, rough, cross-faction sex in his day that he doesn’t talk about out of embarrassment (”how big do you think Megatron’s spike is? lol” “it’s about (x) size... WAIT-” “WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT? RATCHET??”)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): He’s got more experience than anyone on Team Prime and knows exactly what he’s doing, as he’s lived a long time and had a lot of hook ups as well as relationships in his day.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): He likes it when you ride him so he can see your pretty face during it, but he’s also kind of an ass man, so you bent over a med bay counter with him buried to the hilt inside of you is a great view as well.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He’s a good in-between; not obnoxious, mostly very sweet and romantic and intense and sensual, but if the atmosphere is in need of lightening or something awkward happens he will make a joke to make the both of you laugh/get distracted and more comfortable.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): Very romantic, definitely a charmer even though he’s really just trying to be sweet and reassuring.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): He likes mutual masturbation. Whoops.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): He enjoys roleplaying shit like doctor/patient, professor/young adult student, boss/employee; power-dynamic things, though he’d never do anything like it in real life, he wants it sometimes for foreplay.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): In his personal office with you bent over the desk.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): When he’s feeling especially passionate and in love with you, it makes him horny- he just wants to show you how much he loves you.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Hurting you is off the table minus the occasional smack on the ass or nip. So, hard bondage, hard biting, slapping/hitting, and ‘punishment’ type things are usually a no-go.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Doesn’t mins receiving but his spike is so big that he knows it can’t be comfortable for you, and he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable just for the sake of servicing him like that when there’s plenty of other ways for him to get off that he enjoys just as much if not more. He definitely prefers to give because of this and is very good at it, taking his time while lapping at your heat and maintaining eye-contact throughout most of it. Doesn’t ever give head as mere foreplay or to tease, though- when he does it, he goes in needing you to finish in his mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Slow and rough for sure; long, hard strokes and thrusts, gravely and romantic whispers in your ear, etc. He’s too old for fast sex lmao.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Rather than just satiating a physical need, he sees sex as an excuse to be intimate and show his love, so while he enjoys how he feels during it, he likes to take his time making you feel worshipped and doesn’t want to do quickies because they take away from that.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): Fine with experimenting some, but nothing high risk. The craziest thing he’s done was fuck you in the med bay, but even then, it was late at night when everyone was sleeping, the door was locked, and he vigorously cleaned and sanitized it afterwards.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): Just one very, very long round. He’s not a tease by any means but he’s on the larger side of things when it comes to spike size and he likes to make sure you’re prepped properly to take him. It lasts a while and you probably finish a time or two before he does, but after that, he’s wiped out. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He has a few, mostly dildos that are usually bought alongside flavored lube and warming massage oil- all of them are used on you.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He might tease you verbally, but not physically; sex is like an expression of love for him and he doesn’t want to make you wait for it. He hopes that you’ll spare him the same kindness, but if you don’t and you decide to mercilessly tease him, prepare yourself for some especially rough sex.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): Not super loud or into making noises, not like he’s purposefully holding back but it’s just not how he expresses himself. He’s more verbal, whispering praises in your ear, telling you how good you feel in between heavy breaths and pants and the occasional gasp. Actually pretty quiet compared to the rest of the cast.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He had a part time job when he was really young at a sex toy shop while he was in the Cybertronian equivalent of medical school to get by before the war started,

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): It’s pretty average; wants it maybe three or four times a week.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He takes a little bit because he likes watching you sleep, admiring your features so he can engrave them in his memory, playing with your hair, holding you close to him, running a servo up and down the length of your back and pressing feather-light kisses on the top of your head while thanking whatever god is out there for letting him have someone so beautiful. After you go to sleep, he takes about a half hour or so before it’s lights out. 

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He needs affection; hugs, cuddles, kisses. Will cling to you for as long as you’ll let him after sex. 

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own is his optics. He usually has his visor on so no one gets to see them, but they’re a beautiful shade of blue and you seem to think they’re gorgeous. His favorite body part of yours is your legs; they’re pretty and strong and he loves seeing them wrapped around his waist. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): He loves humans and loves their- for a lack of a better term- fluids. Will scoop up your cum/lubricant with his digits and put it in both of your mouths, also has more than a few pictures of you with a mouth full of his transfluid or your face covered in it. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Jazz isn’t one for keeping secrets. Sometimes he’ll steal your underwear and not tell you and that’s about it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Not experienced at all before meeting you! He doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience and only feels comfortable sleeping with people he has long-term relationships with, so yeah, virgin with a clean slate before you get your hands on him. It takes an embarrassing amount of time for him to get the hang of it, and he has no idea what he’s doing at first, but he gets it eventually.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): Spooning sex is by far his favorite because he finds it comfortable and enjoys the closeness; his arms around your body, spike buried deep inside of you, mouth nipping at the lobe of your ear from behind, legs entangled with your legs. It also makes for easy clean up.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): He can do both, but it’s always one or the other. He’s great at reading a room and just does whatever he think suits the mood in the moment.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): ^

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): He’s actually a bit embarrassed about the porn he watches when he masturbates and plays off the fact that he masturbates a lot, but he totally does. Will show you if he gets especially comfortable with you and you ask, though.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Cockwarming, he thinks it’s a great tease and adores watching you squirm while the anticipation builds in him. He’ll pretend that he’s not super focused on you/pretend to be doing something else but it drives him crazy. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): On a couch or in the bed, he’s kinda vanilla in that sense.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Sexy music, smut, porn, or pictures that you’ve sent him of yourself (lewd or not, he thinks you’re gorgeous) usually get him in the mood throughout the day. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Turn offs? Lol you hit the experimentalist jackpot here with Jazz, there’s nothing he won’t try at least once, and most everything he tries he loves at best and likes or is neutral on at worst.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Likes both, but oral just isn’t his favorite to give or receive; he prefers using his servos on you and would rather you use your hands on him as well, but he’ll give/receive if you so ask and is on the higher end of average at it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): As I’ve mentioned, he’s good at reading a room and will do whatever he thinks you’re in the mood for/what suits the atmosphere that day.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): They’re not especially satisfying, but he likes the risk and the thrill of them, so he’ll do them with you every once in a while to spice things up.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): He’ll do anything you want him to; experimentalist, will try everything once, takes any risks you want for the sake of getting off as long as serious injuries aren’t a highly likely risk involved.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): He lasts a pretty average amount of time and can go a round or two with breaks in between, it just depends on how horny he is to start with and what your preferences are.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He has a few toys both for himself and you. He doesn’t use them regularly when he’s in a romantic/sexual relationship, but they do get brought into the bedroom sometimes to spice things up.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He’s a tease and it’s rude, but at the very least, he can take what he dishes out. He enjoys being teased in return and thinks you’re cute/beautiful when you do it, loves watching you get him riled up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): He’s about medium volume, but is definitely a moaner. When the sex starts and he still has his helm on straight, it’s well-articulated praise and worship falling from his lips, but then things get more intense and he crumbles and the full sentences just turn into weak moans of your name. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): He has made a very long, alphabetized (by artist name), organized sex playlist on Spotify that has what he thinks is the sexiest human music he’s heard. He doesn’t understand all the human terminology in it but that’s okay. If you want, he’s enthusiastic to play it while the two of you have sex.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Decently high, wants it once a day, but he’s also pretty good at killing the horniness so if you’re not in the mood he learns to match your sex drive pretty quickly and doesn’t mind it at all.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): He falls asleep around the same time that you do on his own! The two of you are just very in sync.

Chapter Text

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He’s a bit awkward, but expectedly sweet and gentle. Will massage anywhere that’s sore and kiss up and down your body, go take a shower with you if you feel like you need/want one.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners): His favorite body part of his own is his helm; it’s strong-looking, and he just likes the shape of it. His favorite body part of yours is your back; he can run a single servo up and down it, scratch/massage it to soothe you, etc. It makes him feel warm, safe, relaxed, and soft for once when he touches it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically): This man is, uh, nasty. Makes you eat both his and yours (”Good girl, now lick it off of me, clean up the mess you made... There you go, swallow it. Open up and let me see.”)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He would be very into recording you pleasuring yourself/him pleasuring you (with his face and any identifying features out of view) and posting it online for others to ogle at you and how beautiful you are. He’s thought of it, but wouldn’t do it without your consent and is too embarrassed to ask. Still, he regularly fantasizes about others eyeing what’s his, getting off to you, and knowing that they can’t have you whilst being jealous of him, not even knowing that it’s Ultra Magnus himself who’s pleasuring you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Has a ton of experience; relationships, flings, hook ups, one-night stands, the works. He’s done it all. So, he knows what he’s doing and is very good at it.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying): Missionary, with him pinning your arms down.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.): More serious, thinks that jokes during sex usually ruin the vibe and the intimacy of it all.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.): He’s romantic before and after, but not really during. He’s not goofy or silly either, though, nor is he mean or uncaring or anything like that. Mostly, he’s just focused on getting the job done and on pleasing you, maintaining a domineering attitude the whole time.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon): Doesn’t masturbate unless it’s to send a video of it to you to get you worked up.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Collaring, spanking, punishing, and hair pulling (all giving) as well as cockwarming, edging, and overstimulation.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do): His private quarters/the rooms in his house are the only places he’d ever feel comfortable doing it, tbh. The bathroom in the shower or tub is fun every once in a while, but his bedroom is the main room you usually do it in and his favorite.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): You and the thought of you submitting to him.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Public or recorded (recordings of his whole body and face, I mean- just his spike or valve or servos is different) sex, even if he thinks the concept is hot. He has an image to uphold. Subbing for anyone is off the table, too- he needs to maintain control to get off.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): Prefers to receive because it makes him feel more dominant; he can hold you by the hair and fuck your face, cum in your mouth and make you swallow it, have you on your knees and weak in front of him. Doesn’t mind giving, though, and will do it frequently combined with fingering you as foreplay.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): You wouldn’t expect it, but while he’s thorough and slow with time-consuming foreplay, spankings, punishments, etc., the actual penetration/intercourse phase of sex goes by incredibly fast and is also incredibly rough most of the time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): Like a lot of the others, he likes to take time with sex and doesn’t enjoy quickies because they’re- well, quick.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.): He’s not risky at all. He wants to be in control of things, for everything to feel ‘safe’ and low risk. He’s into doing hard kinks, just not in any setting or manner that’s risky for HIM personally.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?): One round, pretty long because of the foreplay but the actual sex goes by fast. He’s sure to make sure that you’re satisfied, though.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): He’s kind of old-fashioned. Minus the aforementioned paddle, collar, and leash, he doesn’t have any toys or anything like that, but if you suggest it, he’s open and excited about the idea and enthusiastically incorporates it into your sex lives!

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease): He likes to tease you and does it every single time because it gets him off, but he refuses to so much as allow the opportunity for you to do it in return.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): He’s pretty quiet, minus some absolutely nasty dirty talk that he tries to egg you on with; “You’re my good little whore, aren’t you? That’s right, sweetspark, say it louder,”

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character): Has probably fucked most of his higher-ranking subordinates at least once as well as multiple council members in his youth. No one talks about Ultra Magnus’s fuck boi faze where he slept with a ton of bots though, lol.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Sex drive who? Hardly existent except for when you get him especially worked up. Maybe wants it like once a week on his own. The sex is crazy when he does want it, though, and even when he himself isn’t especially horny, he doesn’t mind putting aside some time to please you if you have a higher sex drive than him.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward): Almost instantly. Like, he just looks over at you to make sure you’re alive and then tosses an arm over you and passes out. Mans works a long, hard, tiring day at his job every single day and sex is also especially taxing for him.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: “It would be a little different, but uh... I guess I’d have to figure it out.”
• Ratchet: “Don’t be ridiculous, there’s no way you’ll ever get turned into a worm.”
• Prowl: “From what I’ve gathered, worms don’t live that long ):”
• Bumblebee: “Of course I would! I’d buy you a little habitat and everything! My little worm s/o...”
• Bulkhead: “Are you okay? Y-You’re not gonna get turned into a worm or something soon, right?”
• Sentinel Prime: “Ew, no... What? You’d be a worm! We wouldn’t be able to talk or kiss or anything, what do you expect?”
• Jazz: “Like... As a friend?”
• Ultra Magnus: “While that’s very improbable, I suppose if you were turned into a worm, I’d still love you... It wouldn’t be the same, though.”
• Megatron: “No.”
• Starscream: “What the fuck is a worm?”
• Blitzwing: (Random) “Hell yeah, worms are gnarly!”
• Lugnut: “I’d love you no matter what you are, my love.”
• Shockwave: “Honestly, I’d be more curious about how you got turned into a worm in the first place. But I suppose I would have to care for you still, yes...”
• Soundwave: “I’m not computing the inquiry.”
• Wasp: “Sorry not sorry, no.”
• Blackarachnia: “...It’d be hypocritical of me not to, honestly.”

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Something handmade; a knitted sweater or art or something, etc.
• Prowl: Something he can take care of; a plant, a new pet, etc.
• Ratchet: Something practical; new equipment for his med bay, covers for his berth, etc.
• Bumblebee: Something flashy; an obnoxiously colored jacket, decorations for his room, a speaker, a brand new gaming system, etc. 
• Bulkhead: Something he can use for his art; new paints, new canvases, etc. 
• Arcee: Something she can use to teach with; books, instructional materials, new data tablets, classroom supplies, etc. 
• Blurr: Something cozy for him to relax with for once; a fuzzy blanket, hot energon mix, etc.
• Jazz: Something related to his hobbies; a record player, a radio, a notebook, a new set of pens, etc. 
• Sentinel Prime: Something that makes him feel good; a personal letter, a picture drawn of him, accessories or mods that look good on him, etc.
• Ultra Magnus: Something heartfelt and inexpensive; a picture frame, homemade breakfast, etc.
• Megatron: Something written; a love letter, a poem, a story or picture book, etc.
• Starscream: Something that’ll benefit him; wing buffers, flight boosters, etc.
• Blitzwing: Something that appeals to all three personalities; soft and fuzzy things, cold drinks, dark yet soft colors, etc.
• Lugnut: Something he can use for you or for Megatron; battle plan maps, new mods or weapons, energon in bulk, etc.
• Soundwave: Something for his minicons; energon treats, mods, etc.
• Shockwave: Something he can use in the laboratory; cleaning supplies, new equipment, etc.
• Swindle: Cash gift; self-explanatory, mans loves his money.
• Lockdown: New mods; weapons, speed and energy enhancers, etc.
• Wasp: Something that smells good; candles, potpourri, air freshener, etc.
• Blackarachnia: Something that makes her feel confident; perfume, jewelry, new mods or weapons, etc.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Alpha, smells like sandalwood and fresh rain.
• Ratchet: Beta, smells like fresh linen and cologne.
• Prowl: Alpha, smells like old books and chopped wood. 
• Bumblebee: Omega, smells like honey and lemon. 
• Bulkhead: Beta, smells like fresh paint and potpourri. 
• Arcee: Omega, smells like caramel and apple spice. 
• Blurr: Omega, smells like vanilla and pumpkin.
• Jazz: Beta, smells like cinnamon and chai.
• Sentinel Prime: Alpha, smells like charcoal and cardamom.
• Ultra Magnus: Alpha, smells like cinnamon and pine.
• Megatron: Alpha, smells like pure smoke and incense. 
• Starscream: Omega, smells like orange soda and cream.
• Lugnut: Omega, smells like maple and herbs.
• Blitzwing: Beta, smells like strawberries and blueberries.
• Shockwave: Omega, smells like fresh flowers and raspberries.
• Soundwave: Beta, smells like freshly baked goods and coconut.
• Wasp: Omega, smells like lime and sugar.
• Blackarachnia: Alpha, smells like wine and perfume.

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• I think they have completely different love languages, tbh. Optimus shows his love by giving gifts and doing acts of service while Bumblebee is more physical touch and words of affirmation.
• Because of that, it takes an embarrassing amount of time for them to realize that they like each other because Optimus is trying to court Bee by giving him nice presents and making him energon and doing his chores while Bee is trying to court Optimus by giving him compliments and fleeting touches. It’s embarrassing and everyone hates watching it at first.
• Eventually, they confess, and it’s made clear early on that they need to communicate their affections and feelings verbally.
• Both are huge on things like birthdays and anniversaries and always go all out for the other. Optimus gets embarrassed when he’s celebrated and doted on like that, Bumblebee loves it.
• They’re both big cuddlers. Optimus likes to be spooned, Bee likes spooning- you wouldn’t expect it with the size difference, but they make it work somehow. Occasionally, though, they’ll sleep on each other’s chests.
• Optimus watches Bumblebee play videogames regularly and enjoys it but never plays because he’s afraid he’ll lose. He just claims he isn’t interested, though.
• Hot showers together are a must for both of them. 
• They both love animals and kids/sparklings and want a few of both in the eventual future.
• Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee is the reckless impatient one while Optimus is the cautious patient one, so they balance each other out in the relationship- Bumblebee shows OP to live a little, OP shows Bumblebee how to slow down.
• Bumblebee makes Optimus’s energon treats just how he likes them.
• Optimus goes through a phase when they first start dating where he purposefully abuses his leadership role to try to keep Bumblebee out of danger by making him do the most tedious tasks, but he quickly stops when Bumblebee expresses his disdain for it. Still, he’s extremely protective when it comes to them battling against the Decepticons, and even though as the ‘superior’ he’s technically not supposed to, Optimus happily puts himself in physical danger for Bee frequently.
• These two are really bad about PDA in front of Team Prime, but not in front of the Decepticons or the Elite Guard/Ultra Magnus and co.
• Their favorite dates are movie nights, shopping in candle stores, and lounging in the living room playing videogames (while Optimus watches). 
• Optimus tries pickup lines but misses the actual punchline, Bumblebee still laughs and acts charmed. 
• Bumblebee, on the other hand, hits on Optimus and is successful all the time <3

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• Optimus Prime: He and Prowl are the only alphas on the team and he knows that Prowl is pretty reserved and, at times, awkward when it comes to helping others- especially Bumblebee. So, he takes initiative and offers his blankets and some belongings for Bumblebee to nest in during heats and whatnot if necessary. As the team leader, he also makes sure that Bumblebee gets whatever supplies he needs from Cybertron; heat/scent blockers, fuel, medicine, etc. If anyone tries to hit on Bumblebee or make any sort of rude remarks about him being an omega, Optimus is the first to interrupt.
  
  
• Prowl: He’s pretty standoffish when it comes to Bee at first, but when they start to get closer and Bumblebee shares some of his struggles with being an omega, Prowl wants to help without doing too much or being intrusive. So, he just reminds Bumblebee to take whatever blockers or medications he needs, allows him to scent him when they’re especially close/in private, and is a little extra protective of him on patrols.
  
  
• Ratchet: He’s thankful he’s a beta like Bulkhead and is pretty neutral on everyone/unaffected by their scents. It puts him in a position where he can help Bee a lot more, whether that be by telling OP and Prowl to lay off on how protective they’re being, making sure he’s taking his blockers and medications/supplying them, making sure he’s fueling, doing health checks, or letting him stay in the med bay. He definitely does his fair share of teasing, but he also takes care of Bumblebee a lot and will be the one there helping cool down his fever and keeping him fueled at his bedside during his heats if he doesn’t have a mate.
  
  
• Bulkhead: He’s always been the most understanding of Bumblebee and is mostly there to lend a listening ear and be there during the omega’s most vulnerable, awkward moments. No mate during a heat and he needs embarrassing supplies to get him through it? Bulkhead goes and gets said supplies without question and makes sure that Bumblebee has everything he needs for his health and comfort. He’s always there to be a soft, reassuring, friendly, and supportive presence without being too stern or protective like the others can be.

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• Optimus Prime: He hates the noise of them, as it makes him jump. He will try to hide away with you under a flurry of blankets in the safety and comfort of his bedroom until the noise goes away, shushing you and holding you close to his chest the whole time.
• Prowl: He doesn’t like them because they cause pollution and scare animals off, but they do look pretty. When New Years, 4th Of July, etc. roll around, he’ll try to take you to an extremely rural, remote area where fireworks aren’t extremely close. If you do hear any, though, he’ll talk you through it the best he can.
• Ratchet: He’s neutral on fireworks, but if you’re scared of them, he won’t buy or light them. He knows he can’t control others, though, so when they’re going off around you, he’s trying to use grounding techniques to help you get through the noise until it’s over.
• Bumblebee: He loves fireworks and is surprised you don’t share the sentiment, but hey! That’s okay, too. If you don’t like fireworks, he won’t push the issue. Instead, he’ll grab you both some headphones and drag you to his PC/gaming console to play some multiplayer with him, hoping that the noise and the engaging activity will distract you.
• Bulkhead: He thinks fireworks are pretty scary; they’re loud, sudden, and they can burn him? No thank you. He’ll cuddle and watch a movie or paint with you instead, but if you do have to hear or see them, he’ll cover your ears/eyes to block it out as well as he can. 
• Jazz: Fireworks are super awesome! At least in his opinion. He thinks they’re bright, colorful, lots of fun, and the noise is exciting. But you don’t like them very much, and he respects that. So, the two of you always watch them through the window with him rubbing your back and offering you noise-canceling headphones when they’re too loud. 
• Sentinel Prime: He kinda teases you for being scared of fireworks but he’s also scared of fireworks. Regardless, if fireworks are going on, he’ll transform into his vehicle mode and allow you to drive him around with the windows rolled up since it cancels out some of the noise and does a good job of distracting him too.
• Ultra Magnus: He’s neutral on fireworks, used to use them a lot to celebrate war victories, but if you’re scared of them he stops using them immediately. If they’re going off around you, though, he pulls you close and holds your head to the crook between his neck and shoulder in hopes that it’ll help block out the noise, and he tries to take you to a quiet, blocked off room and play some music so you aren’t just listening to the noise of the fireworks.
• Megatron: Fireworks? If he’s with you, fireworks aren’t allowed. Not ever. They will be discarded of if he knows they’re near and if anyone dares to light any around you they’re done for. If you need comfort, though, he’s picking you up and holding you to his chest, rocking you and whispering sweet nothings in your ears.
• Blitzwing: Icy is neutral on fireworks, but Hothead and Random love them. Regardless, when firework-oriented holidays roll around, whichever personality is in charge has their own means of comforting you. Icy just holds you and gives you kisses, Random makes an obnoxious amount of noise to try to distract you, and Hothead rambles with you about how terrible and loud fireworks can be. 
• Lugnut: Lugnut is used to loud noises and thinks fireworks are neat, but if you’re scared of them, he doesn’t want you anywhere near them. If you end up with fireworks around, though, he’ll just try to shield your ears and enjoy the view. 
• Starscream: Starscream is both extra and also terrified of fireworks (though he won’t admit it), so to ease you through it and avoid them, he’ll take you in his vehicle mode and fly you far, far above where the fireworks are going to be so you can watch them from way up in the sky without being close enough for the noise to be bad or to get burned. 
• Blackarachnia: She actually loves fireworks, but she understands that you don’t. On occasions when they’re usually lit, she’ll take you out to some private place with some of the ones that don’t explode or pop (little fountains, smoke bombs, etc) and light them super far from you so the two of you can still watch and enjoy them without the noise or risk that she knows you’re scared of. 

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• Optimus Prime: Macaw
• Prowl: Raven
• Ratchet: Cardinal
• Bumblebee: Canary 
• Bulkhead: Sparrow
• Arcee: Finch
• Blurr: Woodpecker
• Jazz: Hummingbird
• Sentinel Prime: Blue Jay
• Ultra Magnus: Cockatoo
• Megatron: Falcon 
• Starscream: Peacock
• Blitzwing: Cassowary
• Lugnut: Ostrich
• Swindle: Shrike
• Lockdown: Vulture 
• Shockwave: Pigeon
• Soundwave: Mockingbird
• Blackarachnia: Crow
• Wasp: Nightingale

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• Optimus Prime: Corn snake
• Ratchet: Scarlet Snake
• Prowl: Banded Flying Snake 
• Bulkhead: Anaconda
• Bumblebee: Grass snake
• Arcee: Rosy Boa
• Blurr: Sidewinder
• Jazz: Paradise tree snake
• Sentinel Prime: Blue tree snake
• Ultra Magnus: Ivory ball python
• Megatron: King Cobra
• Starscream: Rat Snake
• Blitzwing: Burmese Python
• Lugnut: Emerald tree snake
• Shockwave: Ribbon snake
• Soundwave: Western Coachwhip
• Swindle: Milk snake
• Lockdown: Black Mamba
• Blackarachnia: Pit Viper
• Wasp: Barbados thread snake

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• Optimus Prime: Werewolf
• Ratchet: Fenrir
• Prowl: Elf
• Bumblebee: Gremlin
• Bulkhead: Orc
• Arcee: Chimera
• Blurr: Sphinx
• Jazz: Thunderbird
• Sentinel Prime: Griffin
• Ultra Magnus: Golem
• Megatron: Vampire
• Starscream: Unicorn
• Blitzwing: Kraken
• Lugnut: Yeti
• Shockwave: Cyclops
• Soundwave: Pegasus
• Lockdown: Dragon
• Swindle: Fairy
• Blackarachnia: Mermaid
• Wasp: Kelpie

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• Optimus Prime: Dragon wings, light blue and white in color
• Ratchet: Feathered wings, pure white
• Prowl: Pixie wings, translucent gold and black
• Bumblebee: Insect wings, clear with white/translucent lines
• Bulkhead: Bat wings, dark grey
• Arcee: Feathered wings, baby pink in color
• Blurr: Pixie wings, baby blue in color
• Jazz: Feathered wings, red
• Sentinel Prime: Dragon wings, gold and silver in color
• Ultra Magnus: Dragon wings, dark blue
• Megatron: Bat wings; black, grey, and maroon 
• Starscream: He... already has wings. But if I had to give him more wings, they would be obnoxiously feathered and the same magenta that’s on his frame.
• Blitzwing: Red, blue, and black pixie wings, more long than tall and graceful looking.
• Lugnut: Bird-like wings with fuzz that don’t actually fly, purple and black in color
• Soundwave: Bat wings, gold to match his accents
• Shockwave: Bat wings, deep, dark red and incredibly large
• Swindle: Feathered wings, green (like money)
• Lockdown: Dragon wings, black and white
• Blackarachnia: Insect wings, translucent and graceful
• Wasp: Insect wings, black, green, and brown

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• Optimus Prime: Hamster
• Ratchet: Guinea pig 
• Prowl: Prairie dog
• Bumblebee: Squirrel
• Bulkhead: Capybara 
• Blurr: Rabbit
• Arcee: Gerbil
• Sentinel Prime: Ground hog
• Jazz: Chinchilla 
• Ultra Magnus: Marmot
• Megatron: Muskrat
• Starscream: Rat
• Blitzwing: Mole rat
• Lugnut: Beaver
• Swindle: Mouse
• Lockdown: Porcupine
• Blackarachnia: Coypu
• Shockwave: Gopher
• Soundwave: Marmot
• Wasp: Patagonian Mara

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• Bumblebee is really needy during his heats and wants attention from an alpha or even a beta desperately; physical attention, praise, cuddles, kisses, just being catered to in general.
• He has kind of a thing for mechs/femmes that are a lot larger than him; he wants someone big and strong or even tall and limber who can toss him around and maneuver him however they want, especially when he’s in heat/they’re in a rut. 
• He tends to prefer partners who are caring, doting, etc., but he also likes a partner with a jealous, domineering streak in the bedroom- as long as they’re still attentive to him, of course. 
• When he’s in heat, he wants ice cold drinks, ice cold showers between getting himself off/sleeping, and a nest of blankets/pillows that smell like an alpha/his alpha if he has one at the time.
• His preferred toys are small vibrators and a set of beads that he has. While he wouldn’t necessarily mind dildos, he’d rather have an actual mate there to fuck him than use a dildo, and using one would just make him feel empty and wanton.
• Contrary to the above point, though, he does have ONE dildo that is... Way too big that he keeps. Like, it’s a Decepticon warframe model, will probably never fit and would tear him in half, but he swears he’ll make it work one day.
• He wants to be made to beg for what he wants, even if he won’t admit it, as well as told how pretty and sweet he looks during it. Basically, just make him feel good about himself, he wants to feel loved and treasured by his partner- if during his heat, his partner just wants sex and doesn’t cater to those emotional needs, he feels pretty used.
• As you’d imagine, he usually barricades himself up in his room when he’s in heat and tries to wait it out with or without a partner, but he’ll eventually get stir crazy and wander around the base on one or two of the days. RIP to anyone on base who can’t handle the intense omega scent that radiates from him during that, you’re going to suffer from it anyways. The alphas on base that aren’t mated with him learn after a while that when Bee’s in heat, it’s better for them to barricade themselves in their rooms, too.
• His heat cycle is actually irregular, not that he’s the diligent type who’s going to track it anyways, but he never knows when it’s going to hit. Usually, Ratchet has to be the one to remind him when he’s able to smell it approaching, and Ratchet is the one to help him get any meds or supplies he needs as well as set up his room for during that time.
• Bee makes an embarrassing amount of noise and is honestly pretty unabashed about his heat in general. Like yeah, kinda awkward, but it’s a thing that happens, it’s a biological function he can’t help, and it’s not his fault he’s stuck on earth on a base with a few other bots living with him. Sucks for them, lol.

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• Optimus Prime: Optimus LOVES what you do. He loves organic life, loves earth, loves animals and thinks they’re all very neat. Going to some zoos makes him genuinely sad because he sees some of the animals in too-small enclosures and feels bad for them. He supports your line of work and asks about your day all the time and wants to hear about it. Also, please take him to an aquarium, sea life is his favorite.
• Ratchet: Ratchet is pretty neutral at first; he isn’t super for or super against animals, but it is an interesting line of work that you seem to have. He’s especially interested in the medical side of it, how the animals’ anatomies work, etc, so he wants you to tell/teach him all about that.
• Prowl: Prowl is a nature kind of mech, so when he learns that you work with animals, he’s even more smitten. Him, Bulkhead, and Bee have probably let animals loose from a zoo at least five times. He wants to recruit you in some of these efforts, but you direct him towards volunteering at shelters, donating supplies for animals at different organizations, and doing dog walking/pet-sitting when he wants and has spare time.
• Bulkhead: Bulkhead is scared of a lot of animals, but he loves the little ones, as well as the cute and fuzzy ones, so he likes your line of work. Just as long as he doesn’t think it’ll kill him, it’s fine, lol. Take him to a sanctuary or a (good quality) zoo and he’ll be happier than anything, take him to one of those zoos that doesn’t have big enough enclosures for the animals and he’ll cry on the way home. 
• Sentinel Prime: Sentinel is terrified of you at first when he learns that you work with animals. You touch those organic things? Like, willingly? Terrifying. Revolting. Horrible... But then you show him pictures and let him watch you do your job from a safe distance, and while the animals aren’t appealing to him and continue to scare him, he’s very in love with the caring, fearless side of you that comes out when you’re doing your job. He doesn’t want to actually visit your animals or touch them or anything, but he’ll listen to you talk about your day and look at all the videos and pictures of your animals that you show him.
• Jazz: Jazz thinks animals are cool! Some are a little scary, but still, he likes them. His favorites are the big cats like tigers, lions, cheetahs, etc., so while he knows better than to touch them or try to do anything like that, he loves hearing about your work and going to different places that have animals with you so he can look at them.
• Ultra Magnus: Ultra Magnus won’t touch or go near your job, to be honest, but he uses whatever resources he has to get your place of work some really good supplies just to show that he supports you; food, toys, medical equipment, things for enrichment, funds for newer/better enclosures, beds, etc. 
• Megatron: Megatron doesn’t like organics or organic animals. You’re the only organic he really likes, but some of the animals are alright to watch, he figures. He likes organic reptiles a lot; snakes, lizards, turtles, tortoises, etc. He’ll watch those happily and take the chance to drop you off at work in vehicle mode whenever he can, as well as read up on the animals you work with so he can actually talk about work with you.
• Blitzwing: Blitzwing’s different personalities all have different opinions on organic animals. Icy maintains a distance but thinks they’re interesting and doesn’t mind looking at or learning about them, Hothead thinks they’re gross and wild and wants nothing to do with them (except for dogs!), and Random absolutely loves them (especially dogs!). Your career and how much you love it rubs off on them, and if they can find one that Blitzwing can physically fit into, they’ll volunteer at an animal shelter occasionally.
• Lugnut: Giant animals! He’s not really experienced with organic animals/species, but he would love to interact with them directly. If that’s not possible, he wants to get them food, toys, and other supplies, and watch them when he can. Maybe Megatron wouldn’t approve, but they are pretty interesting, and he loves you so much that he automatically loves everything you do, too, including your job.
• Starscream: Starscream wants you to keep the animals far away! What if they scratch his armor? Get him dirty? Ruin his wings? He wants nothing to do with it, at least not up close. He won’t directly visit your place of work, but he’ll fly over it in vehicle mode and take a glance or two. Do expect him to fall in love with domestic cats and rodents, though- as many complaints as he has about remaining “clean” they’re super cute and he’s actually great at caring for and bonding with them. 
• Shockwave: Shockwave is actually quite curious about the science of organic animals. All he knows anatomy wise are things about Cybertronians, nothing about humans or animals on earth, so you have to explain a lot to him. He’s happy to listen to you talk about work, wants to hear you discuss the animals and how they live/function, how you care for them, etc., but he doesn’t want to touch them or really have anything to do with the field work. 
• Blackarachnia: Blackarachnia is afraid of a lot of the animals you care for at first because... You know, trauma. She won’t go near any zoos, sanctuaries, vets, etc. that have insect exhibits, but if you take her to one that has big cats, birds, marsupials, domestic animals, or literally anything else, she doesn’t mind being there. She mostly just stays away from your job and supports you from afar, though.
• Swindle: Swindle thinks earth animals are very neat; they aren’t robotic, but they’re also not giant, scary, and disgusting like some of the ones on other alien planets. Earth animals are his favorite, actually, so he’s almost as enthusiastic about your job as you are. He wants you to take him to work with you, to tell him all about the different animals, to let him feed and pet them, etc. Even if you don’t allow him to do the latter things, though, that’s fine- though you do have to eventually explain that, no, you can’t keep them as pets or sell and buy them like that if they’re wild/endangered, that’s wrong/often illegal, Swindle. He also starts wearing (fake) animal print. Whoops.
• Lockdown: Lockdown isn’t particularly fond of animals. Some of them are gross and some of them aren’t the most friendly creatures, so he’s wary at first, but he’s happy to be around them or watch you do your thing if it makes you happy- he can handle himself just fine, after all. Seeing you bond with the animals secretly makes his spark a little softer than usual, and he definitely sneaks a few pictures of you hard at work because it just showcases a different side of you, but you don’t need to know that, right?

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• Optimus Prime: Doesn’t know what ASMR is. God bless him.
• Ratchet: He really thinks that most ASMRs are either annoying or pointless. Whoops. 
• Prowl: Likes nature ASMRs like birds and crickets chirping, wind, rain, water, as well as stuff with ambient music or soft sounds that he can just meditate to or vibe with. 
• Bumblebee: Makes obnoxious “ironic” ASMR of him eating; chewing sounds, drinking, slurping, etc. 
• Bulkhead: Watches and listens to painting ASMRs in his spare time and when he’s working on tasks that don’t require too much focus. 
• Sentinel Prime: Claims to hate ASMR, but secretly listens to romantic ASMR roleplays and 18+ character x listener ASMRs.
• Jazz: He likes the ones with both music and noise. His favorite to listen to is one that has calming, smooth jazz music and the sound of a crackling fireplace. 
• Ultra Magnus: Listens to ASMR for background noise when he works, mostly ones with softer sounds like writing on paper, pages being flipped in a book, idle shuffling, etc.
• Megatron: Listens to rain/thunder, river streams, and other types of nature ASMR to go to sleep.
• Starscream: Makes ASMR of him tapping his claws against different surfaces because he likes the attention.
• Blitzwing: Each personality has a different take on it. Icy likes makeup ASMRs, Hothead makes ASMRs where he yells into the mic, and Random just kinda does or listens to whatever he feels like dependent on the day but really likes listening to/making the eating ones.
• Lugnut: If there are Megatron x Listener ASMRs or even just Crush x Listener ASMRs, he listens to those and makes them, too. 
• Shockwave: Doesn’t really understand the appeal of ASMR, but enjoys some of the more meme-y ones. 
• Blackarachnia: Listens to ironic ASMR POVs.
• Swindle: Learns that he has a nice voice and makes bedtime ASMR where he smoothly talks the listener to sleep- only on a platform that pays, of course, as he’s doing it for profit. 
• Lockdown: Occasionally partakes in listening to ASMR with tapping and scratching sounds because he finds it more pleasant than deafening silence.

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• The only other alphas around are Blackarachnia and Megatron, while the others are either betas or omegas as stated in this post.
• Most of the time, it’s not really a problem. He’s comfortable with himself, likes his scent, likes his identity, and as an omega, he’s strongly desired by others which is nice.
• I feel like his and Megatron’s relationship in TFA is kinda underrated and I choose to ignore what all happened in the S4 script. It’s obvious that despite Megatron being annoyed by how overzealous Lugnut can be sometimes, they trust and rely on each other greatly, so that applies in this sense too- you can interpret this as romantic or platonic- but they try to help each other out during their respective heats/ruts.
• It depends on how they’re feeling and mostly how comfortable they are with each other, but sometimes they sleep together and more often than not Megatron provides blankets, pillows, and other things that smell like him to help Lugnut get through heats- he doesn’t want his most loyal and one of his most competent subordinates to struggle, after all. 
• Blitzwing is usually pretty helpful too, though since he’s a beta there’s not too much he can do and him and Lugnut aren’t physical at all, so Blitzwing (Icy, mostly) just helps get Lugnut energon, cooling pads, suppressants for missions, that kind of stuff and offers a listening audial when the larger mech needs to vent.
• Blackarachnia is standoffish and dislikes most of the other Decepticons, but she likes Lugnut and feels for him so she tries to help out the best she can too in the form of offering things that smell like her for him to nest with if Megatron is unavailable or something. 
• Lugnut’s scent of maple and herbs is incredibly popular and well-loved around base. Hell, even mechs/femmes he comes across that he doesn’t know are immediately entranced by his scent, and unlike Starscream or Bumblebee or some of the other Cybertronian omegas, he doesn’t take any sort of scent blockers or cover his scent in any masking products, so it’s just there.
• Sometimes, when the alphas or betas who are Decepticons are in need of comfort or relaxation, they’ll ask to scent him or borrow some of the stuff that smells like him. The only ones Lugnut really allows to do this are Blitzwing, Megatron, and Blackarachnia. 
• When it comes to his heats, Lugnut tries his best to remain functioning so he can work for the Decepticon cause, even if any other omega would be barricading in their room for a week or two. He works when he can, goes to take care of his physical needs when he needs to, and comes right back like it’s nothing. If his scent bothers anyone, he really doesn’t care, that’s a them problem.
• He doesn’t have a lot of toys and doesn’t prefer to use them, as he prefers the physical touch of a mate/partner. He does have one dildo that he got as a gag gift that he dusts off and uses every once in a blue moon, as well as a wide variety of lubes. He’s also super diligent about birth control, as he doesn’t want sparklings any time soon.
• In terms of preferences in the bedroom, he’s kind of a people pleaser, just wants to take care of the other person and then get his needs met, has to be forced to relax a bit and let himself be taken care of every once in a while even when he’s in heat and desperate for release. 
• Whoever has him as a mate is honestly really lucky <3

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• Standard Western Dragon: Optimus Prime, Grimlock, Ironhide
• Oriental Dragon: Yoketron, Ratchet, Prowl
• Wyrm: Lugnut, Bulkhead
• Draggonet: Bumblebee, Blurr, Cliffjumper
• Wyvern: Soundwave, Starscream, Swoop
• Quetzalcoatl: Megatron, Ultra Magnus
• Cockatrice: Blackarachnia, Wasp, Arcee
• Hydra: Blitzwing, Shockwave
• Ampithere: Jazz, Jetfire, Jetstorm
• Knucker: Lockdown, Sentinel Prime
• Drake: Rodimus Prime, Snarl, Swindle

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• Optimus (alpha)/Bumblebee (omega)
• Ratchet (beta)/Arcee (omega)
• Ultra Magnus (alpha)/Blurr (omega)
• Sentinel Prime (alpha)/Jazz (beta)
• Megatron (alpha)/Lugnut (omega)
• Blitzwing (beta)/Starscream (omega)
• Prowl (alpha)/Lockdown (alpha)
• Blackarachnia (alpha)/Shockwave (omega)
• Single/undetermined: Bulkhead, Soundwave, Wasp, Swindle

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• Personally, I think that for the most part, it varies mech to mech on how they treat someone of the opposite dynamics. It’s more about personality and the dynamic between the two partners than it is about Decepticon vs. Autobot in terms of how they treat each other.
• But, I will say that the general ‘culture’ of mating, dynamics, and interfacing is a lot different between the two factions.
• A lot of the Autobots, especially the older and higher-ranking ones, have the belief that each bot has a role and that they’re expected to fill that role to make the whole ‘system’ work if that makes sense. So, if you’re an omega, you’re expected to be with an alpha, if you’re an alpha, you’re expected to be with an omega, and if you’re a beta, you’re expected to be with another beta. If you do anything other than that, while it’s not illegal, you’ll definitely get some weird looks.
• Autobots are also into the whole idea of courtship, romance, and taking time with things. So, casual flings and people sleeping together solely for the sake of satiating heats/ruts without a romantic relationship is usually judged pretty hard by some others. But, at the very least, it does mean that Autobots are usually very attached to and caring of their partners, and that since a lot of these relationships have so much time invested them, sparkmates/bondmates are incredibly common and usually last a long time if not lifetimes. 
• If you’re an Autobot in heat or rut and you go outside in public with your scent just out there, it’s considered rude. Scent blockers, masking products, and heat/rut suppressants are very common and used by most working bots.
• Omegas are also usually seen as weaker and needing to be taken care of, betas as average citizens, and alphas as ‘above average’ or stronger. Because of this, alphas are more likely to be taken seriously and given leadership roles in Autobot society, but it’s something that’s becoming less and less of a problem as time passes by and they become more progressive. 
• Betas are typically charged with delivering supplies to omegas in heat or alphas in rut whenever they’re barricading in their rooms at their homes. 
• Decepticons are different. Obviously, there’s still lots of romance and whatnot, but they’re more about comradery and helping each other out than courtship and monogamy. So, it’s more common for casual flings and sleeping with each other just to satiate heats/ruts to happen than it is with the Autobots.
• The roles are seen differently, too. No one really gives a shit if you’re an omega, beta, or alpha- you’re still expected to do what you usually do and do your job regardless and treated however everyone perceives you deserve to be treated for your personality/abilities. Because of this, omegas don’t catch breaks during heats and alphas don’t catch breaks during ruts from the Decepticon cause- they’re still expected to work and whatnot. 
• Due to this, though, suppressants and blockers to hide heats/ruts and scents aren’t common and it’s relatively normal for an omega or alpha to go out at any point in their cycle. 
• Alphas lending omegas clothes that smell like them for them to nest in is pretty common for Decepticons. 
• Untraditional dynamic relationships such as alphas with alphas, omegas with omegas, etc. are still incredibly rare but more common and accepted than by the Autobots.
• Unlike with Autobots, bondmates/sparkmates tend to keep their intimate relationships more lowkey/on the downlow in public and express their affections more privately. Dating around is more common, too, and it’s a lot less of a strict and judgmental society, though that can prove to make navigating it or finding a mate confusing as well as getting off of work when in heat/rut difficult. 

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• The two of you dated in the Autobot Academy and had a relatively good relationship up until the incident, which you weren’t there for, but you heard both Optimus and Sentinel’s side of the story outside of court and gathered what happened- Sentinel pushed them to go to the organic planet, Elita “died”, and Optimus got blamed for it even though it was all three of their faults.
• You were initially willing to try to make the relationship work regardless because you and Sentinel had been dating for a long time and you were very in love with him, but you found that all of his worst qualities were amped up after what happened to Elita; he was more controlling, terrified of not following rules, critical of Optimus, putting blame on everyone else for his actions, sabotaging himself and others, angry, cruel, and obviously not the same person he used to be.
• So, you broke up with him and gave up your dream of being in the Elite Guard- it wasn’t going to look like what you wanted, anyway. When you’d been younger, you’d dreamed of being there with Sentinel by your side and Optimus and Elita, your closest friends, there too. But now, Elita was gone, Optimus had no chance of being in the Elite Guard, and Sentinel was sure to make your career miserable if you tried to work with him because of the breakup.
• Deciding that you had no other options, you joined Optimus’s space bridge repair crew and left Cybertron with him for a while, and your friendship with him ended up growing a lot because of everything, only for the two of you to have everything happen with Megatron and the Allspark with your entire team crash landing on earth.
• Things go very similarly to how they do in canon up until Sentinel comes to earth. The second incident with Blackarachnia and her lab happens, and the reveal is very big and emotional for everyone, but in the crossfire of things, you also get turned into a techno-organic. Thankfully, unlike Wasp, you maintain your personality and are pretty much the same aside from your appearance. It’s a big change, but you handle it a lot better than Wasp and Blackarachnia and come out unscathed. You and Optimus were mostly just disappointed and distraught about how it all turned out, as well as disappointed in Sentinel for how he acted and treated Blackarachnia even after realizing who she was/who she’d been to him.
• You’re feeling conflicted. On one hand, your feelings for Sentinel never left and this experience has made you realize how short life is, but on the other hand, you know he needs to grow and become better before the two of you have so much as a chance at a functioning relationship. 
• Sentinel, however, has been an emotional wreck since the breakup and has missed you dearly, even going as far as to be nicer to you than to everyone else once returning to earth in hopes that you’ll notice and start wanting him back.
• Seeing you techno-organic triggers something even deeper in him, though... He’s loved you from the moment the two of you met, and he assumed that seeing you turned into someone else entirely like that, especially when he’s scared of and disgusted by most organics, would turn him off of you and change his feelings. But seeing you changed so drastically, he realizes he loves you even more- your personality is still the same, and he’s just grateful that you’re still alive.
• He doesn’t know how to handle that, though, and remains quiet about it for a while, simply skirting around you until Optimus inevitably notices and demands that he at least talks to you- it’s obvious you both miss each other, he says, and he gives you the exact same lecture, Blackarachnia didn’t sacrifice herself for nothing and would want all three of you to be happy. 
• So, Sentinel approaches you and the two of you hash it out; air your grievances, talk about how much you’ve missed each other, he apologizes to you for everything that’s happened and promises to work on himself, you both explain your perspectives on your change from purely Cybertronian to techno-organic, and you agree to make things work and try again before just hugging each other and basking in each other’s presence for a few hours <3

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• Optimus Prime: Statue of Liberty
• Prowl: Machu Picchu 
• Ratchet: Pyramids Of Giza
• Bumblebee: Taj Mahal
• Bulkhead: Blue Domed Church
• Arcee: Little Mermaid 
• Sentinel Prime: Big Ben
• Jazz: Mount Fuji
• Blurr: Acropolis
• Ultra Magnus: Great Wall Of China
• Megatron: The Great Sphynx 
• Starscream: The Leaning Tower Of Pisa
• Blitzwing: Brandenburg Gate
• Lugnut: St. Basil’s Cathedral 
• Shockwave: Eiffel Tower
• Soundwave: Mecca
• Swindle: Versailles 
• Lockdown: Loch Ness
• Blackarachnia: Mount Everest
• Wasp: Stonehenge

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• Optimus Prime: INFP
• Ratchet: INFJ
• Prowl: INTP
• Bumblebee: ESTP
• Bulkhead: ISFP
• Jazz: ENFJ
• Sentinel Prime: ESFP
• Ultra Magnus: ESTJ
• Megatron: ENFP
• Blitzwing: Icy; ISFJ, Hothead; ESTJ, Random; ESFP
• Lugnut: ESFJ
• Starscream: ENTJ
• Shockwave: INTJ
• Lockdown: ISTP
• Swindle: ENTP
• Blackarachnia: ISTJ

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• Optimus Prime: Coke
• Ratchet: Big Red
• Prowl: Pineapple Ramune
• Bumblebee: Mountain Dew
• Bulkhead: Sprite
• Blurr: Zevia
• Arcee: RC Cola
• Jazz: Strawberry Ramune
• Sentinel Prime: Mello Yello
• Ultra Magnus: 7up
• Megatron: Dr. Pepper
• Starscream: Pineapple Fanta
• Blitzwing: Sunkist 
• Lugnut: Pepsi
• Swindle: Squirt
• Lockdown: A&W Root Beer
• Shockwave: Canada Dry
• Soundwave: Sierra Mist
• Blackarachnia: Grape Fanta
• Wasp: Tamarind Jarritos 

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• Optimus Prime: He’s really good at pole dancing... Don’t ask. He got drunk while him, Sentinel, and Elita were in the academy and got a little too big for his britches, and they never let him live it down. He’s also good at dancing in general because he’s got some practice in it, but he’s usually too shy to ask anyone to dance with him, so if you want to do it, you have to initiate.
• Prowl: He does ballet as a hobby and that’s all he’s really good at in terms of dance, but he’s willing to learn more. Doesn’t really do it in public, though, and isn’t open to it. 
• Ratchet: He did some dancing in clubs when he was younger and wasn’t especially good or especially bad at it, but now that he’s older, he isn’t that interested- doesn’t want to be seen dancing or really want to, but he’ll partake in it every once in a while, if someone really urges him to. 
• Bumblebee: He’s not especially great or especially bad at it, but Bumblebee loves dancing and has a lot of fun doing it- will do it whenever he has the chance and will drag a partner on the dance floor if they let him no matter what kind of dance it is! 
• Bulkhead: Bulkhead has a bit of fun dancing but definitely has to be coerced into it because he’s pretty shy and doesn’t like putting himself out there. He’s not the best at dancing either- he has a hard time being graceful and not wrecking everything when he’s dancing, but he does enjoy it and will happily do it with a partner.
• Jazz: He’s not great at waltzes or ballet or anything like that, but he likes dancing to jazz as well as going to the club or small parties at friends’ places and dancing to r&b, hip hop, etc. 
• Sentinel Prime: Definitely did some wild partying back in when he was in the Autobot Academy and is great at dancing in club settings but won’t do it now because he thinks it’s unprofessional/unbecoming of a ‘future Magnus’/current Prime. Will dance in a formal setting with a partner to show off his skills.
• Ultra Magnus: He’s learned his fair share of waltzes and other kinds of dancing for uppity formal events- it really just comes with being Magnus, but he likes dancing with his s/o too, especially at those sorts of things, as he finds it easy, relaxing, comforting, and romantic. It does make him uncomfortable to dance with anyone else though, and it also makes him uncomfortable to dance to any music that’s not some classical piece or something of the sort. Never bring him to a club.
• Megatron: He doesn’t know how to dance and would kind of like to know how just to be able to actually participate at parties and whatnot, but he’s too embarrassed to ask anyone to teach him, so he usually stands on the sidelines and watches everyone else having their fun, claiming that it doesn’t suit him and that’s why he doesn’t want to. He will, however, do a lazy sort of one-step two-step with his lover in a kitchen or in their bedroom to some soft music if asked to or if there’s just music playing and he’s in a particularly romantic mood.
• Starscream: Knows the logistics of dancing, but his coordination is horrid and he’s really bad at it- formals, ballets, waltzes, r&b, hip hop, dubstep, clubbing, any form of dancing, he will mess up and everyone will laugh at him. He claims it’s stupid and he’s not interested but really he wants to go dance and have fun like everyone else, he just isn’t good at it.
• Blitzwing: The three personalities can all dance, but prefer different types of music/dancing styles; Blitzwing likes classical ballet, Hothead likes thrashing around to heavy metal, and Random is a fan of just vibing to some really good dubstep with a good bass in a crowded club room.
• Lugnut: Loves dancing! He’s a lot like Starscream in the sense that he’s actually pretty bad at it and super clumsy because of his build, but he goes out there and has fun- also, he’s getting better with some much needed lessons from Blitzwing!
• Shockwave: Doesn’t understand dancing at first nor does he think it’s ‘logical’, per say, so he doesn’t do it much at first, but if his s/o wants him to, he’ll allow them to teach him how to dance and dance with him in private.
• Blackarachnia: Outright refuses to dance in her techno-organic form even though she’s actually very good at it from her Autobot Academy/partying days because she’s embarrassed to be seen dancing with the way she looks. Might dance with a very specific person to their music of choice if they’re not judgmental of her.

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• Optimus Prime: Pound cake 
• Ratchet: Chocolate chip cookies 
• Prowl: Brownies 
• Bumblebee: Apple pie
• Bulkhead: Pudding 
• Arcee: Strawberry shortcake
• Blurr: Carrot cake
• Jazz: S’mores
• Jetstorm: Blueberry cobbler 
• Jetfire: Peach cobbler
• Sentinel Prime: Bundt cake 
• Ultra Magnus: Creme brulee
• Megatron: Red velvet cake
• Starscream: Pineapple upside down cake 
• Blitzwing: Trifle 
• Lugnut: Mississippi mud 
• Shockwave:  Ice cream
• Soundwave: Jello
• Swindle: Snickerdoodle cookies
• Lockdown: Biscotti
• Blackarachnia: Blackberry pie
• Wasp: Cheesecake 

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• Optimus Prime: Heat waves
• Ratchet: Rain
• Prowl: Rainbows
• Bulkhead: Thunderstorms
• Bumblebee: Lightning
• Arcee: Sandstorms 
• Jetstorm: Waterspouts
• Jetfire: Wildfires 
• Blurr: Snow
• Sentinel Prime: Frost
• Jazz: Hurricanes
• Ultra Magnus: Clouds
• Megatron: Cold Waves
• Starscream: Fog
• Blitzwing: Aurora Borealis
• Lugnut: Dust devils
• Lockdown: Haboobs
• Swindle: Hailstorms
• Shockwave: Floods
• Soundwave: Tornados
• Wasp: Whirlwinds
• Blackarachnia: Typhoons

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• Optimus Prime: Hockey
• Ratchet: Darts
• Bumblebee: Soccer
• Bulkhead: Football
• Prowl: Cycling
• Yoketron: Gymnastics
• Ironhide: Golf
• Cliffjumper: Tennis
• Arcee: Volleyball 
• Jetfire: Skateboarding 
• Jetstorm: Surfing
• Blurr: Track and field (specifically sprint runs + long jump)
• Rodimus Prime: Archery
• Jazz: Basketball
• Sentinel Prime: Fencing
• Ultra Magnus: Baseball
• Megatron: Wrestling
• Lugnut: Weight lifting
• Starscream: Rugby
• Blitzwing: Triathlon
• Soundwave: Shooting 
• Shockwave: Cricket
• Swindle: Water polo
• Lockdown: Bowling
• Blackarachnia: Badminton
• Wasp: Canoeing 

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• Optimus Prime: Ice hockey
• Ratchet: Skeleton
• Bumblebee: Regular speed skating
• Bulkhead: Ice fishing
• Prowl: Figure skating
• Yoketron: Ice swimming
• Ironhide: Luge
• Cliffjumper: Snow kayaking 
• Arcee: Ice climbing
• Jetfire: Bobsleigh
• Jetstorm: Snowboarding 
• Blurr: Short track speed skating
• Rodimus Prime: Biathlon
• Jazz: Curling
• Sentinel Prime: Snowball fighting
• Ultra Magnus: Snow snake
• Megatron: Ice speedway (found this one while researching different sports for this. it’s literally motorcycle racing on ice and i feel like megatron is just unhinged enough for it.)
• Lugnut: Snowmobiling
• Starscream: Alpine skiing
• Blitzwing: Nordic combined
• Soundwave: Slalom 
• Shockwave: Cross-country skiing 
• Swindle: Snowkiting
• Lockdown: Shovel racing
• Blackarachnia: Ski jumping
• Wasp: Freestyle skiing

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• Optimus Prime: January 20th
• Prowl: August 21st
• Ratchet: January 6th
• Bumblebee: July 28th
• Bulkhead: May 23rd
• Yoketron: September 5th
• Arcee: June 29th
• Jetfire: June 14th
• Jetstorm: June 14th
• Rodimus Prime: February 25th
• Blurr: March 4th
• Jazz: October 30th
• Sentinel Prime: April 9th
• Ultra Magnus: November 15th
• Megatron: July 12th
• Starscream: August 1st
• Blitzwing: December 31st
• Lugnut: July 11th (mad that his birthday is only a few hours off from Megatron’s. so close!)
• Shockwave: February 29th
• Soundwave: May 16th
• Swindle: September 10th
• Lockdown: December 2nd
• Blackarachnia: November 8th
• Wasp: March 27th

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• Optimus Prime: Dogs
• Prowl: Birds
• Ratchet: Rats
• Bulkhead: Elephants
• Bumblebee: Bugs (bees)
• Arcee: Rabbits
• Yoketron: (also) Birds
• Rodimus Prime: Komodo Dragons
• Jetfire: Tigers
• Jetstorm: Panthers
• Blurr: Cheetas
• Jazz: Fish
• Sentinel Prime: Lions
• Ultra Magnus: Wolves
• Megatron: House cats
• Lugnut: Crocodiles and alligators (he cannot tell the difference)
• Blitzwing: Chameleons
• Starscream: Salamanders
• Swindle: Foxes
• Lockdown: Bears
• Shockwave: Deer
• Soundwave: Bats
• Blackarachnia: Dolphins (no, not spiders.)
• Wasp: Sharks (no, not wasps.)

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• They probably got together through a series of circumstances that weren’t too crazy; just your typical, good mutual pining.
• Initially, Prowl is frustrated that he likes Bumblebee of all people, but he’s decent at keeping it a secret for a while minus the occasional (and very noticeable to everyone except for Bumblebee) flirting that he does without even realizing it and how he’s just a little too physically close and too protective of Bumblebee than he should be for someone who’s strictly a teammate.
• Bumblebee, on the other hand, is flirting with Prowl and trying to win him over the second he realizes his feelings. Prowl, however, is under the assumption that Bumblebee is like that with everyone and that he shouldn’t think anything of it. Really, it hurts his feelings for a while and gets on his nerves that Bumblebee is ‘leading him on’ when not actually interested, but he does enjoy the attention that comes with the flirting.
• Eventually, Prowl is told by enough people that he puts it together; Bumblebee isn’t kidding nor is he just like that with everyone, he actually is just blatantly flirting with him and wants to be dating him but can’t sit him down and have a serious conversation about it like a functioning adult.
• So, Prowl does the adulting, gets fed up with Bumblebee’s flirting one day and finally drags the little bot to his room and lays it all out on the table with a full confession, basically demanding some sort of an answer/response.
• Bumblebee, flustered, just nods and says yeah, he’s liked him for a while and has been very obviously communicating it! ...Or so he thought. 
• The two start dating after that and while Prowl is pretty lowkey about it, Bumblebee brags to everyone about his ninja motorcycle nature-loving boyfriend and is all about PDA, and Prowl doesn’t have the spark to stop him, though he does feign annoyance at the unnecessary attention.
• In terms of headcanons about their established relationship, I do have a few!
• Prowl can be kinda distant when he’s having a hard time or just stressed, and it makes Bumblebee equally as stressed out because he fears that Prowl is losing interest, so he’ll purposefully flirt with other mechs in front of Prowl to make him jealous so he’s forced to express said interest. Definitely a toxic trait of Bee’s that they communicate and end up working on as they grow.
• Prowl is pretty secure as a whole and in their relationship, but Bumblebee tends to get insecure and needs a lot of reassurance. Prowl doesn’t mind providing it and being there to be the one Bumblebee can vent to about those sorts of things, so it works. Bumblebee is glad that he has someone he doesn’t have to be funny and cheery and light-hearted around all the time to be loved by them.
• Bumblebee’s favorite thing for them to do together is cuddle up at home and watch movies, closely followed by him sitting on Prowl’s lap while Prowl watches him play videogames.
• Prowl’s favorite thing for them to do together is to go out for long nature walks, closely followed by them going to animal sanctuaries or bird watching.
• Bumblebee thinks he’s great at hiding his feelings when he’s upset or when there’s a conflict between the two, but he’s really not. Prowl is quick to tell him that he’s wrong and that he shouldn’t be hiding his feelings anyway, and to just be honest with him- don’t hide.
• They’re definitely that ‘ew, keep your hands off of each other, guys’ couple because while Prowl initially tells Bumblebee off for being so bad about PDA, he ends up really enjoying it and reciprocating, so yeah... At the very least, they’re holding hands all the time, and at the most, they’re practically on top of each other <3

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• Optimus Prime: Optimus doesn’t really like his appearance, so on one hand, looking at is is rough, but he does appreciate the thought behind the gift and keeps it tucked away somewhere secure so no harm can come to it.
• Prowl: He admires the engineering behind such a complicated figure and fiddles with it when he’s bored but doesn’t show it off or anything. He will tell others about it if such a subject comes up in conversation, though.
• Ratchet: When did he get so... old looking? Ratchet kinda laughs at first because oh my God, it really captures how he looks, but that includes capturing just how much he’s aged over the past few years and the feeling is bittersweet. He does appreciate the thought, but he probably just transforms it into vehicle mode and leaves it like that on a shelf.
• Bumblebee: COOL! It has his electric blasters and everything! He shows it off to everyone and carries it around anywhere he thinks it’s safe from being damaged... Out of everyone on Team Prime, he’s definitely the most proud of his. 
• Bulkhead: He blushes upon receiving it and isn’t sure how to react. A figure of him? Really? That’s so... sweet. He doesn’t transform it because he’s afraid to break it, but it’s usually displayed alongside some of his art pieces around the base.
• Jazz: Another earth invention? Neat! Super neat, even. He carries it with him everywhere in a storage compartment to show to his friends and coworkers and gets pretty good at transforming it back and forth.
• Sentinel Prime: He’s one of those guys that keeps it in the box because “it’s such a rare piece” and “I’d hate for my likeness to get damaged! Look at it, I’m so beautiful >:D”. It remains locked in a safe at all times because he loves it so much and doesn’t want any harm to come to it.
• Ultra Magnus: He has an embarrassing amount of trouble transforming it, so it stays in bot mode, but he does like it. While he plays with it every once in a while between doing tasks to fidget with something, he usually keeps it somewhere in his room like on a nightstand or dresser top. 
• Megatron: A figure of him, complete with weapons and an accurate depiction of his vehicle mode? A collector’s item that no one else is allowed to touch, he silently adores it and sticks it on the highest shelf in his room in alt mode. 
• Starscream: “What a silly gift... It looks nothing like me!” He grumbles, even though it looks exactly like him and he’s utterly in love with it. He plays with it all the time, polishing it and transforming it back in forth, but only when he’s in private because he doesn’t want anyone to know about it.
• Blitzwing: He just has a lot of fun with switching the faceplates back and forth between the bot mode (the figure came with all three! amazing!) and fiddling with it in his spare time. While he does show it off at first as Random, Icy and Hothead are very protective of it and usually don’t want to bring it out in front of others.
• Lugnut: “it’s so small!”, literally the thing is the size of one of Lugnut’s digits and it’s so tiny that the only one who can transform it for him is Swindle- sometimes Blackarachnia. But hey, he appreciates the thought behind it and thinks it’s really cool... Can he have one of Megatron, too? Please?
• Shockwave: Oh, it has both vehicle modes, his regular bot mode, and his Longarm Prime mode...? Impressive, really. He’s astonished by how well-made it is and transforms it a couple times before screwing with it to add even more features, as he does.
• Blackarachnia: It has her previous body and vehicle mode as well as her current body and spider mode, which is bittersweet. She constantly switches between the four but usually only messes with it when she’s alone at night and in thought about something. 
• Swindle: He almost considers selling it. “It’s a rare collector’s item, right? Some of the ladies who are so very interested me would be happy to have such a beautiful, accurate figure of me.” But he ends up liking it too much and doesn’t end up selling it. He does keep it locked away and in the box, though.
• Lockdown: “Heh... Cute,” is his only response. He doesn’t take it out of box or play with it, but he does take the box out to look at every once in a blue moon, as it’s a very sentimental and sweet gift that gives him a happiness boost on the rare occasion that he needs it.

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• Optimus Prime: Likes to spoon with his s/o and be the little spoon- knows he’s bigger than most but doesn’t care, it’s just nice to be held and feel cherished. 
• Ratchet: Likes to sit on the couch with his legs crossed and propped up, his s/o on his lap facing him with their arms around his neck and their legs around his waist- it’s comfy, and he likes the weight and the closeness.
• Prowl: Likes to sit with his back against something, his legs slightly spread, and his s/o sitting between his legs with their back against his chest and his arms around their waist.
• Bumblebee: Likes to be laid on his side with his s/o laid on their side facing him, arms around each other, limbs intertwined because he prefers to be as close as possible. 
• Bulkhead: Likes to sleep on his side with his s/o also on their side and facing him, his arms around them so he can pull their body over with them curled up against his midsection. 
• Jazz: Likes to lay a variety of ways and doesn’t care too much as long as his legs are comfortably entangled with his s/o’s.
• Sentinel Prime: Likes to lay on his back and for his s/o to be laid next to him, curled into his side with one of his arms around them and their head/helm on his chest. 
• Ultra Magnus: Likes for his s/o to sit or lay in his lap so he can hold them and massage their shoulders or run a servo over their head/helm. 
• Megatron: Likes to spoon with his s/o and be the big spoon- makes him feel strong and protective over them.
• Starscream: Likes to lay on his stomach with his s/o draped over his back, sleeping on or between his wings if they fit there- if they don’t because they’re bigger than him, he also doesn’t mind laying on their back instead.
• Blitzwing: Likes to lay a variety of ways and isn’t especially fond of any cuddling position in particular as long as he is touching his s/o in at least one place- legs tangled, feet brushing, a servo on their skin/metal somewhere, he’s not picky.
• Lugnut:  Likes to lay on his stomach with his s/o curled up to him, their head/helm resting on the back of his shoulder.
• Swindle: Likes to lay on his back with his s/o laying on their stomach on top of him, helm/head and arms resting against his mid-section.
• Shockwave: Likes to lay on his stomach between his s/o’s legs with his helm on their chest or tummy.
• Soundwave: Likes to drape himself over his s/o’s back, or if they’re too small for that to be comfortable, he just lays on his stomach next to them and has an arm wrapped over their back.
• Lockdown: Likes to be back to back with his s/o, as he just finds it more comfortable and prefers to be doing other things instead of just... Sitting there and cuddling.
• Blackarachnia: Likes both her and her s/o to be laying on their backs holding hands/servos, because while she isn’t much of a cuddler, she still does like physical affection in small doses.
• Wasp: Likes to wrap his arms and legs around his s/o’s body and coil around them almost like a snake- it’s rare that he gets touch often and he will cling to it for as long as he can.

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• As you could probably guess, Prowl tops most of the time. It just kinda falls into place naturally, but the dynamic is more like Bumblebee being a power bottom and Prowl being a shy (at first) top. 
• Their relationship progresses, and their initial vanilla sex with Prowl being awkward during a lot of it changes into something a lot spicier and more intimate.
• Prowl brings up the idea of bondage, albeit a little unsure of himself at first, and Bumblebee is enthusiastic about it, so they start incorporating it in the bedroom regularly. Prowl is incredibly good at making beautiful, intricate knots, and the appeal of the bondage kink to him proves to be the vulnerability; the fact that Bumblebee trusts him enough to let him do something like that.
• The same applies to Bumblebee; it feels nice to be vulnerable, to let someone else do the work and take care of him for once. He’s constantly energetic, constantly going, so it’s nice to lay back and rely on Prowl for his pleasure- even more so when he has no choice but to do so, arms tied to the headboard above him and ankles tied to the footboard, fully spread apart. 
• Usually, they use rope, but silk ties and handcuffs aren’t uncommon either.
• Prowl has a bimbofication kink, too. Whoops. It’s something he’s embarrassed to admit- in fact, it probably comes out on accident, and it’s only after that that Bumblebee pushes him to try it with him.
• “Yeah, is it that good? Am I fucking you stupid with my spike? Dumb slut,” level dirty talk becomes routine, and-
• Oh, whoops... Degradation kink, too. It’s something Bumblebee never thought he would be into, but hey, being called a ‘dumb slut’ apparently works for some weird reason, so why the hell not?
• Part of the reason Prowl tops is because he finds it embarrassing to lose his composure and really hates being loud in bed, making raunchy faces, etc. He just finds it humiliating. But, after a while of them having sex, they get to a point where Prowl is comfortable enough to let Bumblebee top or even just eat out his valve, even if he does still cover his face with his servos or muffle his noises by burying his face into a pillow or biting his arm.
• Prowl desperately needs validation/to feel rewarded in the bedroom, whether that be through Bumblebee’s noises, praise, or just being able to make him overload multiple times. 
• As much as Prowl scolds Bumblebee for PDA, he really likes the idea of marking/claiming the yellow bot for everyone to see; hickeys, bite marks, paint transfers, and dents are all left on Bumblebee enough for Team Prime to not even bat an optic at it anymore. 
• They both don’t really need aftercare, preferring to fall asleep straight after, but there are times where they go and take a bath/shower together or cuddle for a bit before falling into recharge <3

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• Optimus Prime: “I, uh- I mean, are you sure? I’d love that, but you really aren’t obligated-”
• Ratchet: “You’re kidding, right?”
• Prowl: “I’m fully capable of washing myself, but if you so wish...”
• Bumblebee: “Hell yeah, baby!”
• Bulkhead: “I, um... That seems like a hard job. Aren’t I a little big for that?”
• Jazz: “Is this some sort of thing you humans do? I mean, I dig it, but I’ve never heard of that being a thing that partners do for each other...”
• Sentinel Prime: “Normally I wouldn’t let organics touch me like that, but you’re special, so if you really want, you’re more than free. After all, I can understand why you’d want to get your hands on all this.”
• Ultra Magnus: “I’m quite alright, unless you really want to for some reason...”
• Megatron: “Looking to get up close and personal, hm? Well, if you’re that desperate to explore my body, I suppose I should indulge you.”
• Starscream: “W-What!? Why would you want to wash me? I can do it myself, you filthy human! Wait... Would that washing include my wings by any chance? Because if so, then I guess I MIGHT let you...”
• Blitzwing (Icy, suppressing the other two so they don’t ruin this for him): “I suppose so.”
• Lugnut: “That’s actually quite a nice offer... I should see if Lord Megatron would like me to do that for him some time.”
• Shockwave: “You know I can do it myself, right? It’s not like it’s hard or anything. Do humans require assistance washing or something...?”
• Soundwave: “This doesn’t compute.”
• Swindle: “Yeah, that sounds really nice, doll, but you know which soaps to use, right? I’d hate for you to mess up the paintjob I just got done.”
• Lockdown: “Fine.”
• Wasp (buzzing with excitement): “Uh, sure, I guess.”
• Blackarachnia: “Yeah, no thanks, but I’ll wash you if you’d like; I promise, I don’t bite... Much.”

Chapter Text

• I have a personal headcanon that they were in the Autobot Academy together along with Sentinel Prime and Elita One. 
• They weren’t best friends, but they were on good terms. The reason they weren’t best friends? Rodimus had a horrible, simping crush on Optimus the entire time. Optimus was at the top of their class with the best test scores and physical performances, while Rodimus really struggled. Optimus was always kind to him, offering to help him train and giving him notes, helping him study, etc. Really, Optimus was the big reason Rodimus succeeded.
• That’s why he’s pissed when the big incident with Optimus, Sentinel, and Elita happens. Elita is gone and he knows damn well that Optimus wasn’t stupid enough to go to that planet by himself, this was Sentinel’s fault. When he finds out that Optimus has to go repair space bridges as punishment and that Sentinel only received minor consequences, he’s beyond pissed and tells Optimus this even if they aren’t incredibly close; “You need to stand up for yourself for once, Optimus! This is bullslag!”
• Optimus had never seen Rodimus so angry before. Rodimus is the class clown, the hard-working but funny one who’s there to lighten the atmosphere, never serious or one to mess with the vibes. So he doesn’t know what to do, but tells Rodimus that it’s fine, he’ll be fine, he doesn’t mind it too much, he’s just grieving over Elita.
• Rodimus is mostly upset because he’s upset that Optimus is going to leave Cybertron and that they’re going to be separated so drastically, but he gets over it the best he can. The two start talking a lot and develop a friendship in the few weeks left before Optimus has to leave, only to lose contact when he does.
• Everything in canon happens and Rodimus thinks he’s over Optimus. For a while, he thought the other Prime was dead, and he’d grieved, only to find out that Optimus was alive and on earth recovering the All Spark. But it had been over fifty years, and Optimus had just been a little academy crush! Surely, those feelings weren’t still there.
• As many times as he tells himself those things, the moment he hears anyone talk shit about Optimus and what he’s doing on earth, he’s the first to stand up for Optimus.
• By the time Optimus returns to Cybertron and becomes Magnus, Rodimus has healed from his cosmic rust and gets to see Optimus again as his second in command- Sentinel Prime is a member of the newly re-branded Autobot council, Jazz has left to go back to the temple he grew up in to rediscover some of his routes and grieve Prowl, and Blurr is recovering from his traumatic cubing injury, so Rodimus is the next option to fill the vacant spot.
• The first thing Rodimus does when he sees Optimus again is throw himself into the new Magnus’s arms and tells him how proud he is of him.
• The second thing he does is admire how much Optimus has changed, because holy shit, he got tall... And buff... And hot.
• Oh, no, the crush wasn’t just an academy crush and is still very much present.
• FUCK, he thinks.
• “It’s basically like having a crush on your boss... Primus, I’m going to transform and crash myself into a building.”
• Optimus, on the other hand, is enjoying his new second in command... Rodimus is a lot better to be around than Sentinel, to be honest. Rodimus is just as bright and humorous as he was back in the day, but now he’s a lot more mature, strong, and wise. He has a great sense of humor that makes Optimus laugh, he’s incredibly helpful, and he’s just good at making Optimus’s day better.
• Optimus doesn’t realize he has a crush at first. Everyone around them can see it, it’s painfully obvious in how Optimus casually rests a servo on Rodimus’s lower back to catch his attention so he can talk to him as he walks by, the way they smile and blush at each other, the way Rodimus casually tosses an arm over Optimus’s shoulder when they’re standing side by side. 
• The Magnus only notices when he’s reading some data tablet (he picked up reading romance novels after the war... he’s a lonely bastard) that says something about knowing that you’re in love when you start being reminded of the person you’re in love with by almost everything you see. He thinks it’s a profound, sweet thing and logs it in the back of his processor, only to go shopping for some essentials later that day and notice... He’s picking up energon flavorings that are Rodimus’s favorite because they taste like how the Prime smells, getting solvents that he knows Rodimus uses, etc.
• FUCK, he also thinks.
• “I’ve fallen in love with my subordinate... Primus, I’m going to transform and drive myself off the planet. Maybe if I’m lucky enough, I’ll crash myself into something hard enough to put me out of my misery.”
• Thankfully, neither of them transform into their vehicle modes and crash themselves into things, but they do linger on their little crushes.
• And then a formal ball for everyone in the Autobot and Decepticon High Command to mingle comes up, as the two sides are working on establishing peace. The council planned it and Optimus, against his better judgement, went along with it, so he decides to try to ask Rodimus to go with him to gauge how much the Prime likes him if at all.
• “So, Rodimus Prime... Not to bother you, but would you be interested in accompanying me to the ball?”
• “Are you asking me out on a date, Optimus Magnus?”
• “Would you like me to be?”
• “...Maybe.”
• “Then maybe it is a date, Rodimus.”
• Optimus stands and walks out of the room, leaving Rodimus flustered and confused. They then proceed to go on the ball date and many, many more.

Chapter Text

• Jazz meets you right after your transition. You were born and raised a Decepticon, but got sick of negative treatment from your commander, Starscream, and realized that moving to the Autobot faction was probably best for you, your career, and your sanity.
• You were working with the Decepticons out of pure convenience and circumstance, anyway; your sire and carrier were Decepticons, all your friends were Decepticons, you were raised to be that way, and you got into their ranks easily and made a lot of money with the job you worked alongside other seekers.
• But, as you got older, you drifted apart from all the people you’d been loyal to, found that you were unsatisfied with your work, and that the morals of most Decepticons were questionable at best and disgusting at worst. You often avoided direct conflict with Autobots and looked away when you had to see your so-called comrades brutalize them in battle.
• You eventually approach Ultra Magnus with an honest plea; you’ll give him all the information you have if he’ll over you a chance and employment. 
• Reluctantly, he agrees, and you’re put under the command of Jazz- someone kind but diligent and passionate about his work who will watch over you, welcome you in, and show you the ‘Autobot way’, as Ultra Magnus calls it.
• Jazz’s initial impression of you is that you’re very admirable. You left the Decepticons to stand up for what you think is right and to make a better life for yourself, and you’re completely open with all of them about your thoughts and experiences. Not only that, but you’re kind and charming, easy to converse with and friendly. He takes a liking to you immediately. What’s not to like?
• Aside from Jetfire and Jetstorm, you’re the only Autobot who can fly, which is impressive. 
• The two of you become fast friends and he’s the one there holding your servo when you get the Decepticon logo removed from your chest and tattooed over with an Autobot one. 
• Sure, he’s your superior, but the two of you are friends first. 
• He obviously has to start taking you on missions, and the two of you become close. Sure, he already likes you personally, but he also starts noticing how attractive you are... You have a nice (f/c) frame and practically tower over almost every single Autobot including him because of your Decepticon build. You could crush him and he’d thank you.
• He thinks your wings are really nice, too. He likes idly messing with them, even cleaning and buffing them for you when the two of you are comfortable enough with each other for that. His favorite thing ever is when they flutter a bit while you’re deep in thought, too distracted to notice. 
• “Jazz, sir-”
• “Drop the ‘sir’, (y/n).”
• Sentinel Prime rags on you a lot for being a ‘filthy con’, but Jazz is quick to tell him he’s full of shit and shut him down. The two of you make fun of Sentinel together a lot as a pastime whenever the Prime isn’t around. 
• Jazz is by far the most accepting of you, and the others are normally suspicious. While you understand, it does hurt your feelings, and you vent about it to Jazz often. He always offers a listening audial and tries to cheer you up the best he can <3

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Raspberries
• Ratchet: Apples
• Prowl: Lychees
• Bumblebee: Bananas
• Bulkhead: Apricots
• Arcee: Strawberries
• Blurr: Blueberries
• Jazz: Coconuts
• Sentinel Prime: Cantaloupes
• Ultra Magnus: Black currants 
• Megatron: Blackberries
• Starscream: Pineapples
• Blitzwing: Mangos
• Lugnut: Watermelons
• Swindle: Cherries
• Lockdown: Dragonfruits
• Shockwave: Boysenberries 
• Soundwave: Starfruits
• Blackarachnia: Grapes
• Wasp: Papayas

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Radishes 
• Ratchet: Tomatoes
• Prowl: Onions
• Bumblebee: Bean sprouts
• Bulkhead: Cabbage
• Arcee: Squash
• Blurr: Shallots
• Jazz: Tomatillos 
• Sentinel Prime: Carrots
• Ultra Magnus: Cucumber 
• Megatron: Turnips
• Starscream: Asparagus
• Blitzwing: Potatoes
• Lugnut: Lettuce
• Swindle: Broccoli
• Lockdown: Cauliflower
• Shockwave: Celery
• Soundwave: Avocados 
• Blackarachnia: Eggplants
• Wasp: Fennel

Chapter Text

• Prowl and Optimus are very noticeable contrasts to each other in terms of personality, so it’s not a relationship that anyone expects at first.
• But Optimus has a thing for smaller cycle or car bots, Prowl has a thing for larger truck bots, and well... Things happen without either intending for them to happen.
• It starts when they get to earth. They both have a changed perspective- they almost died, things are changing, and they can’t just take life for granted. Prowl tries to live a little more and enjoy himself and those around him, Optimus tries to prioritize protecting his team and finding happiness along the way. 
• The two develop a lot, thus what was once an awkward and somewhat bristly relationship between them changing. It’s awkward at first, Optimus trying to connect with Prowl and Prowl being unsure of why the hell he’s doing it. Since when does Optimus know different breeds of birds well enough to converse with him about it? Since when does Optimus care enough to come check on him when he’s out too late bird watching? 
• Optimus is really awkward and obvious about his attempts. Prowl can tell that the Prime is purposefully researching things he knows Prowl is interested in to connect with him.
• Prowl, however, appreciates the gesture even if he doesn’t understand the intent and decides to return it. He’s a lot more subtle about it, though, leaving little notes of encouragement without his name on them and the energon blend that Optimus happens to like in the fridge for him to refuel with in the morning because he knows Optimus likes to drink it cold.
• Bumblebee catches him writing one of his notes and is like “is that a love letter for the boss? lol”.
• He thought that “hope you have a good day, my dearest Prime” was perfectly fine and platonic, but maybe not? He ceases the notes immediately, embarrassed and reconsidering his feelings.
• Optimus, meanwhile, is incredibly flustered and confused. He knows the notes are from Prowl because even if they aren’t signed, he recognizes Prowl’s handwriting. He doesn’t know how to approach the situation and purposefully spends more time with Prowl to try to gauge what his feelings are because the notes are clearly romantic! ...Right?
• Lots of days are spent with Optimus taking Prowl birdwatching and staring at him instead of the birds the whole time, blushing. He starts to reciprocate the feelings and becomes down bad; Prowl is smart, he’s calming, he’s pretty, he’s suave, he’s strong, and he’s got a caring side that he only shows every once in a while that Optimus just adores.
• One day Optimus just spits it out; “I- I, uh, really like your notes...! The one telling me how pretty my eyes are made my day Friday. Do you maybe wanna go out some time soon, start dating, even...? I’ve really taken a liking to you, Prowl.”
• Prowl is flustered and shocked that Optimus realizes the notes are from him, but he nods, averting his gaze.
• “I’d like that.”

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He’s happy to try your food because it’s something you love making. He’s really into things that are either extremely sour or extremely salty; french fries, pickled vegetables, sour candies, green beans, etc.
• Ratchet: He’s reluctant at first, insistent that it can’t be good for him to ingest food he’s not technically meant to ingest, but with enough convincing from the others, he finally tries it. His personal favorites are tacos, burritos, rice, and vegetable bowls. 
• Prowl: He tries your cooking because it’s a sweet offer and it’ll be nice to partake in something that you’ve become passionate about to make your career. His favorite foods end up being soba noodles, rice, and stir fry made with veggies and no meat- he just likes the texture and doesn’t like meat at all... He also just feels bad consuming animals, too.
• Bumblebee: He’s been wanting to try human food since he got to earth, so hell yeah he’s excited about trying your food! His favorites are things like breakfast foods; pancakes, eggs, waffles, bacon, toast, and more. 
• Bulkhead: He’s too embarrassed to ask you to cook for him but wants to try human food pretty bad after Bee raves about it, so he’s glad that you’re the one to make the offer. He ends up being really into meat and basically meat only; burgers, steaks, chicken, pork chops, bacon, sausage, etc. Oddly enough, though, he also loves vegetable substitutes for meat like cauliflower steak and veggie burgers.
• Jazz: One of the first things he wants to do when he gets to earth is try human food, so when he finds out you’re a chef, he’s like... It’s meant to be! Amazing! You make a lot of food for him to try, and his favorites end up being seafood like shrimp, lobster, and crab with different preparation techniques and flavoring. He’s not super into actual fish, though.
• Sentinel Prime: At first, he insists that organic food must be disgusting, but then he smells you cooking it one day and he’s hooked. He’s one of those people who hyperfixates on like two foods and doesn’t want anything else, so all he wants is bread, but on the bright side, he’ll eat any kind of bread; his favorite are white bread rolls with butter, freshly rolled out, baked in the oven, and piping hot.
• Ultra Magnus: He doesn’t get the point, but he’s old and has pretty much stopped caring so he’ll try anything once. He actually ends up being a huge fan of your cooking and wants it all the time, but doesn’t want to bother you by asking, so you always have to be the one to offer. His favorite things for you to make are steak, chicken, grilled corn, and mashed potatoes.
• Megatron: He initiates you cooking for him because he gets tired of the same energon and oil he has on earth and doesn’t have access to the flavorings he usually has on Cybertron for it. He knows he needs to eat/drink something different or he’s going to go insane. He ends up being more into fruit and fruit dishes than anything, popping grapes like pills and craving smoothies, salads, etc. His favorite things that you make are fruit-centered desserts or any savory dish made with wine.
• Starscream: He acts like he doesn’t want it at first, but the second you act like you’re going to listen and not cook for him, he changes his mind. He ends up being more into sugary human drinks than human food, though, enjoying your cooking because you made it and you’re special to him but ultimately preferring smoothies, sodas, juices, snow cones, flavored water, and milkshakes. 
• Blitzwing: The different personalities have different feelings about you cooking for them and them ingesting human food. Blitzwing thinks it’s pointless and a waste of perfectly good human food since he has energon for himself, Hothead is excited at the thought but won’t admit it, and Random is HYPE. 2/3 majority vote wins and you end up making different foods for them to try. Icy likes ice cream, Hothead likes spicy chips and cooked bell peppers with a dip like hummus or ranch, and Random likes cakes and chocolates. 
• Lugnut: You’d cook for him...? He’s honored and so very excited! He loves everything you make and will eat it all. He can eat you out of house and home and, surprisingly, has no problem with the concept of constantly ingesting human food even though he isn’t really used to it. He’s not super picky and doesn’t have preferences, just loves it all, so he doesn’t have a favorite. 
• Shockwave: He doesn’t accept at first, thinking that it’s easier to just drink the pre-made energon; it’s more logical than wasting time cooking, right? But if you just bring him food without asking beforehand, he can’t deny it. His personal favorites are pudding and cookies. He’s got a horrible sweet tooth. 
• Soundwave: He reluctantly lets you cook for him but doesn’t like it. He’s only likes raw vegan foods for taste, texture, and moral reasons, so expect him to be eating a lot of salads, fruits, and nuts. His favorite snacks are cucumber slices, and he’ll sit around and eat onions and tomatoes like they’re apples. Even the other Decepticons think he’s disgusting for doing it.
• Swindle: His first thought is that it sounds expensive, and he already has energon to fuel with... But if you so insist and you’re the one paying for ingredients and whatnot, he doesn’t mind the thought of trying human food; he’s an adventurous mech, after all! You start cooking for him regularly, he likes it so much that he insists on paying for it, and unsurprisingly, he’s into the finer things like beef wellington, panna cotta, duck, caviar, etc. 
• Lockdown: He doesn’t hate the idea of you cooking for him; saves him on energon, right? He actually asks you to do it first- he’s only on earth and able to try human food for so long at a time, after all. His favorites end up being hearty soups and stews like tomato soup, chili, etc.
• Blackarachnia: Human food...? It doesn’t sound that good. The fact that it’s solid is already kinda gross, but she can ingest it a lot better than the others can because of her organic side- the spider aliens usually eat other bugs, though she certainly has never partaken in that. She tries to help you cook but is really bad at it and just allows you to do it. Her favorites are homemade fish and chips, and basically anything else that’s fried or crunchy.
• Wasp: The thought of human food disgusts him at first, but if you really want him to try your cooking, he’ll do it. Wasp is a surprisingly sensitive soul after all and he knows it’s something your passionate about. Even after you get him to eat your cooking, the few things he likes are pastas and some other Italian food. 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Chocolate chip cookies
• Ratchet: Cookie cakes
• Prowl: Fortune cookies
• Bumblebee: Lemon cookies
• Bulkhead: Macadamia nut cookies
• Jazz: Sugar cookies
• Sentinel Prime: Peanut butter cookies
• Ultra Magnus: Butter cookies
• Megatron: Thin mint cookies
• Starscream: Oatmeal raisin cookies
• Blitzwing: Gingerbread cookies
• Lugnut: Molasses cookies
• Swindle: Macaroons cookies
• Lockdown: Snickerdoodle cookies
• Shockwave: Oreo cookies
• Soundwave: Shortbread cookies
• Blackarachnia: Biscotti cookies
• Wasp: Green tea cookies

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Vanilla
• Ratchet: Apple
• Prowl: Coconut
• Bumblebee: Lemon
• Bulkhead: Strawberry
• Jazz: Carrot
• Sentinel Prime: Orange
• Ultra Magnus: Pecan
• Megatron: Chocolate
• Starscream: Pineapple
• Blitzwing: Neapolitan
• Lugnut: Lavendar
• Swindle: Olive oil 
• Lockdown: Banana
• Shockwave: Coffee
• Soundwave: Whiskey
• Blackarachnia: Wine
• Wasp: Green tea

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He tries to press you to talk about it so he can calm you down, but if you can’t explain what’s causing the panic, he just tries to focus on distracting you- hey, look at this thing over here or- hey, you look really pretty today, etc. It’s kind of awkward sometimes, but the poor guy doesn’t know what to do and is really trying your best.
• Prowl: He drags you to his room, unsure of what to do, and just sits with you during it. No judgement, completely still silence, just him waiting and hoping it’ll get better or waiting for instruction from you as to what he should be doing. 
• Ratchet: He’s arguably the best out of all of them to have around during this since he’s a medical professional who also happens to have anxiety attacks often- definitely different things, but in a similar enough realm that he understands what you’re going through. He makes sure he’s the only one in your line of sight and has his servos on your shoulders to ground you, employing breathing techniques and talking you through it until you’re calm enough to explain to him what’s going on so he can help you.
• Bumblebee: He has no idea what to do at first and tries to make jokes to get you through it and distract you. When he realizes that isn’t working, though, he just hugs you and rubs your back until it’s over if you’ll let him.
• Bulkhead:  He has a panic attack because you’re having a panic attack, to be honest. He doesn’t want you to be scared or upset! It makes him scared and upset! The best he can do is lay around in a puddle of panic with you wherever the two of you happen to be.
• Jazz: He’s never experienced such issues and doesn’t know what to do, so he’s pretty perplexed. All he can think to do is go through the motions of the process he’s set up for when he’s upset, hoisting you up and carrying you to his room, sitting on his berth with you in his arms, and playing relaxing music whilst rocking you back and forth until you’ve calmed down some. 
• Sentinel Prime: Him and panic attacks don’t really go together. He’s never had one, never had to be around someone having one, nada. He doesn’t understand them. At first, he thinks you’re sick or something and wants to take you to a medic, but then you manage to get out the word ‘attack’ and he figures out what’s going on- you’re anxious enough about something that you’re having an anxiety or panic attack, he can’t tell the difference. Still, he probably takes you to Ratchet if he’s available to get help there and make sure that everything is physically okay since he really has no idea what to do.
• Ultra Magnus: He’s there to remove you from the situation that made you panic, holding you in his arms and rubbing your back, telling you to remember to breathe and to take as long as you need to feel better. He tries to make sure that you have something to drink/eat around and that you take a shower, as he knows that both of those will help you feel at least a little better- he’ll even join you in doing them if he has to.
• Megatron: He will... Definitely abuse his authority here, whether that be by getting you the best medic, blasting the cause of it off of the face of the planet (if possible), or just making everyone get the fuck out of the room that it’s happening in. He’s quick to take you into his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear, telling you that everything is okay and that he’s right there to protect you, you have nothing to worry about.
• Starscream: A lot like Sentinel, even though he himself has some anxiety, he’s never had a full-blown panic attack or seen anyone else have one, so he doesn’t know what to do and takes you to the closest medic, assuming that they’re trustworthy.
• Blitzwing: All three of his personalities handle it differently. Icy calmly tries to talk you down, Hothead panics alongside with you, and Random tries to tell jokes or provide distractions to get your mind off of whatever is making you panic if he can. All three are definitely down for holding your hand during it, too.
• Lugnut: He, unlike a lot of the others, just asks what you need and gives it to you. You need cuddles? Okay, he can do that. You need space? He can give you that, too. Fuel/food? Water? He’s going to get it as fast as he can. Definitely a close second to being the best to be with during a time of panic, just a bit behind Ratchet. 
• Shockwave: “Why are you panicking? We can just (insert logical but insensitive solution here).” is his first approach. When he realizes that’s not going to work, he just lets you sit in his lap while he gently rakes his claws over the top of your hair/helm for a while, trying to get you to relax or even sleep while he works.
• Blackarachnia: She just sits with you and lets you go through the motions, giving you whatever you need if you ask or make a move to signal that there’s something specific you need, but otherwise just letting both of you ride the waves while letting you know that she’s there if you need anything. She doesn’t want to suffocate you nor leave you alone when you need her and has a rather tactful approach because of this.
• Lockdown: He’s a little dumb like Shockwave is and tries to explain to you why you shouldn’t be panicking and that everything is okay. Once he realizes that isn’t working and that it’s not that easy, he then proceeds to ask what you want from him that will make you feel better and provides it for you, a little embarrassed that his initial attempt of calming you down didn’t work as swimmingly as he had thought it would.
• Swindle: Panics because you’re panicking and nervously laughs while trying to think of ways to buy you both out of the situation. Will a nice expensive coat make you feel better? Jewelry? The finest things to eat or drink? No? Okay, you just need comfort... he can give that too, but he probably still buys you a bunch of shit because he shops to cope. 

Chapter Text

• This is definitely pre-canon lol, but as is common knowledge on Cybertron, Rodimus is a very talented and respected Prime, high in the ranks of the Elite Guard and a superb fighter with one of the fastest vehicle modes ever known.
• Megatron thinks he’s hot from the start. They end up fighting against each other a lot, running into each other whether it be one on one or with their squads, and there’s so much tension there that Autobots and Decepticons alike comment on it.
• “Struggling to keep up, Megatron?” “Oh, no, not at all... In fact, I’ve been told that I have great stamina if you care to find out, Rodimus.”
• Lots of flirting that’s just lowkey enough to not be called out but highkey enough for everyone to talk about it and question whether the two actually like each other or if there’s just some enemy-like tension there that they’re reading into too much.
• Meanwhile, Rodimus is... Confused. At first he just thinks Megatron is weird, but then he noticed how the other mech is always so gentle with him during their fights and realizes; that paired with the innuendos and borderline flirting probably means... Megatron likes him. And he wouldn’t be lying if he said he didn’t like Megatron, too.
• Decepticon status be damned, Megatron is hot, charming, and intelligent. Rodimus can’t help it and slips Megatron his comm on a piece of paper during one of their one on one fights before retreating.
• Then, they start talking.
• “Why did you give me your comm?” “Why wouldn’t I give you my comm?”
• Rodimus likes Megatron’s charm; he’s witty, great at banter, intelligent, has a lot of good opinions, eloquent, a good flirt, subtle... That and he’s willing to put effort in and put his walls down for Rodimus, which most aren’t.
• Megatron likes Rodimus’s passion; he’s passionate, loud, determined, fiery, honest, kind but ferocious, definitely a spitfire of a mech that he could just burn up in.
• It’s embarrassing. All the Decepticons are concerned about why Megatron suddenly has so many private comms that he has to attend to, and all the Autobots are concerned about why Rodimus is always walking around with this lovestruck look on his face nowadays.
• It’s nice to see them happy, though, so no one comments on it. Neither of them really care anyway, opposite faction or not, they’re simping hard for each other and no one’s gonna stop them lmao.
• They don’t have a big confession or anything like that. It just goes from them meeting and fighting to flirting and fighting to flirting some more and finally exchanging comms, then they’re talking every available hour of the day and night, and eventually, they’re in a basically committed relationship; sneaking out to spend time with each other, going on dates, and doing other more unmentionable things when the tension finally rolls over.
• Basically, enemies-but-not-really-enemies to lovers fanfiction. They probably get conjunxed/spark bond in secret.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Magnolia tree
• Prowl: Elm tree
• Yoketron: Banyan tree
• Ratchet: Maple tree
• Ironhide: Hickory tree
• Bulkhead: Aspen tree
• Bumblebee: Beech tree
• Arcee: Mimosa tree
• Blurr: Birch tree
• Rodimus Prime: Peach tree
• Jazz: Chestnut tree
• Sentinel Prime: Cottonwood tree
• Ultra Magnus: Black cherry tree
• Megatron: Mahogany tree
• Starscream: Juniper tree
• Slipstream: Tulip tree
• Lugnut: Tamarack tree
• Blitzwing: Black locust tree
• Soundwave: Butternut tree
• Shockwave: Weeping willow tree
• Swindle: Sandalwood tree
• Lockdown: Hawthorn tree
• Blackarachnia: Fig tree
• Wasp: Pear tree

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He’s all blushy when you explain the reason why periods happen and how they work and all, but he isn’t especially grossed out or horrified. Cybertronians have some pretty gnarly anatomy things as well, he doesn’t care, he’s just concerned about you and your well-being. He hates when your periods come around because it means you’re usually uncomfortable if not in pain. He just cuddles you and does whatever he can to make you feel better, and he’s great to be around as he doesn’t exaggerate your bad moods when you’re on it.
• Ratchet: He already knows what periods are. One of the first things he did after coming to earth was study human anatomy to get the basics down in case he ever needed to help anyone/came across injured humans, plus he needs to know basic human health things if he’s going to be around Sari as much as he is. He gets good at tracking yours and making sure that you’re fully equipped with everything you need; hygiene products, heating pads, medications, water, food, etc. Aside from attending to those physical needs, he pretty much treats you the same as usual unless you ask otherwise.
• Prowl: He doesn’t know what periods are but isn’t too phased when you explain them. Just an organic thing, right? It makes sense; you reproduce differently, of course your reproductive anatomy is a lot different and has different motions that it goes through to make sure you’re healthy and whatnot. Still, he does think it sounds uncomfortable and painful, so he tries to be as comforting as possible during it, urging you to relax instead of overworking yourself and running hot baths/showers for you as well as making you your food/drinks so you stay well fed and hydrated. If you get upset at any point during it, he drags you to meditate with him to calm down. 
• Bumblebee: He’s more confused than horrified when you explain it. Even if you put it in simple terms, he doesn’t... Quite understand. Still, he understands that you’re literally dripping blood from your body and having serious cramps and headaches for a week or so once a month, and that sounds like it sucks, so he tries to be a really good partner during that time. Most of your shared time together during it is spent lounging on the couch with you laying on top of him, him feeding you your favorite snacks. 
• Bulkhead: He’s straight up horrified. There’s blood pouring out of you? Like, constantly? No, he doesn’t care how much or how little, the fact that it’s happening at all is crazy. How does that work? How are you not bawling your eyes out in pain? He really doesn’t want you to go to work, school, or anything. He’s overly doting, not wanting you to lift so much as a finger- let him do everything and take care of you, he says.
• Jazz: He’s pretty neutral about the period itself. Bodily function, right? Perfectly normal, he’s seen humans do grosser things- like putting anchovies on pizza or putting gum under tables, and it’s not like you can help it anyway. Jazz ends up treating you just the same as usual, but if you need help with anything, just let him know and he’ll get it for you.
• Sentinel Prime: He thinks it’s disgusting, to be honest. It’s like if energon was just... dripping out of him constantly... Yuck. Still, you’re his significant other and he’s a little softer for you than he is for most others, so he tries to be kind- after all, it’s not like he’s knee deep in blood, right? Really, all he does is treat you the same as usual, might try to go buy you pad or tampons if you need them and don’t want to get out to get them but he most definitely buys the wrong size because he doesn’t understand how the sizing system works. 
• Ultra Magnus: He honestly doesn’t give a shit. He’s met alien organics who can turn their bodies inside out, what’s a bit of blood? He’s more sensitive than usual when you’re on your period and there at your beck and call when he’s not working. He gets you the best blankets and pillows to sleep on, heating or cooling pads, whatever you need- and he’s the first to get up and do laundry if any blood leaks onto your clothes or the bedsheets.
• Megatron: He’s seriously concerned that you’re dying or something every time you get on your period even though you’ve explained it to him time and time again. He’s by your side literally every second that you’ll let him be, giving you everything you need; food, drinks, massages, medicines, etc. It’s a little much, to be honest, but the sentiment is nice... Lots of “how are you feeling, baby? doing okay?”. If your cramps are too bad, he’ll just hold you and let you cry while the two of you wait them out. 
• Starscream: He’s a mixture of horrified and disgusted when you explain to him what a period is and that you have them. He doesn’t want to hear about it, though if it makes you feel better to vent about cramps, headaches, inconveniences, mood swings, etc., he’ll sit and listen while rubbing your bag or cuddling you. 
• Blitzwing: All three personalities handle it differently. Icy is surprised but not judgmental or anything, allowing you to use him as a cooling pack when necessary. He doesn’t really acknowledge it too much when it’s happening. Hothead is mad that you have to go through something so horrible and painful sounding! He lets you use him as a heating bad and is actually angry at your body for making you have cramps that hurt so bad. Random says he thinks it’s ‘cool’ (AKA he thinks it’s interesting that your body has such a function) but is always there to make you laugh or preoccupy you with something else when your cramps are bothering you. 
• Lugnut: Hates to hear that you have to go through something that sounds so horrible and gross when you’re so beautiful and sweet. He makes sure you’re as comfortable as you can be, getting all of the supplies you need and poking anything that annoys you during the week off the face of the planet.
• Shockwave: He’s more interested in the anatomy/science aspect of it than anything. Your body does what? Why? How? When? You can predict them and stop them with certain medicines? There’s apps for it? Different products to make it easier? How interesting... When you express that it puts you in pain and you have multiple symptoms, though, as many questions as he asks and as curious as he is, he’s still careful to be kind and doting towards you during it. 
• Swindle: He thinks it’s pretty gnarly. There’s surgery that can make it stop? Do you want him to pay for that? No? Birth control can make it stop? Do you want him to pay for that? No? Okay, he doesn’t get how you can handle such a thing, but if you can handle it, you can handle- humans with female anatomy are shockingly durable and resilient, he thinks. He doesn’t know what to do most of the time and just buys you the nicest most expensive products he can. 
• Lockdown: He doesn’t think it’s gross or gruesome or anything, as he’s done a lot of botched surgeries and killings in his day. He’s seen organic corpses, Cybertronian corpses, removed organs, removed mods and parts, he isn’t really phased by anything, let alone the thought of a little period blood. He does understand that it can be painful, though, and tries to be a soothing presence, cuddling you a bit more and bringing you whatever food you’re craving.
• Blackarachnia: She’s shocked and horrified. How come it’s only the humans with the female anatomy that go through that, she asks. Then when you tell her, she complains that it’s unfair and that all of the humans should have to suffer through it if any are going to. During your period, she treats you the same as usual, but she is a little more understanding when you get snappy or complain about your cramps being bad. 
• Wasp: His first instinct is to think that it’s pretty freaky that the human body can do that without dying but also to be upset that you’re in pain from it. During the week that you’re on your period, he’s especially sensitive as to not trigger your mood swings and ensures that you’re well-taken care of and doted on, but he’s really awkward about it and gets flustered any time you mention the specifics. 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Staying up late to do what he wants for once because he feels like he misses out on free time during the day since he has so much responsibility
• Prowl: Forgetting to wash his bedding
• Ratchet: Setting alarms to wake him up in the middle of the night so he can wake up and look at the clock to smile at the amount of sleep that he still has left
• Bumblebee: Finishing food and leaving the empty container in the kitchen
• Bulkhead: Leaving his shit everywhere in the house and forgetting about it until other people comment on it
• Jazz: Playing his music too loud when there’s other people nearby
• Sentinel Prime: Stealing other people’s hygiene products/food/clothing/etc. just because he feels like it
• Ultra Magnus: Tapping his stabilizing servos/fingers obnoxiously loud against nearby surfaces whenever he’s stressed out even if it bothers everyone around him
• Megatron: Tripping others as they walk by because he thinks it’s funny
• Starscream: Chewing the ends of his claws, pens, pencils, and other utensils to the point where they’re just remnants of what they once were turned into tiny little claw marks
• Blitzwing: Picking up a task as one personality and then switching mid-task and forgetting about it completely, which has led to unfinished writing projects, burnt food, and more
• Lugnut: Hyperfixating on other people and romanticizing good qualities that aren’t there, falling for the idea of someone instead of the actual person
• Shockwave: Forgetting to groom his antlers and either eating nothing for days or eating everything in five minutes
• Soundwave: Playing music so loud he’s going to give himself audial damage when he’s old
• Blackarachnia: Breaking mirrors or turning them around when she sees herself in them
• Wasp: Talking mad shit on Person A to Person B and on Person B to Person A... he just talks too much shit.
• Swindle: Hogging all his money like one of those guys on extreme cheapskates
• Lockdown: Hoarding multiple parts for himself “oh I’ll sell them one day”, no, no you won’t.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Ladybug
• Ratchet: Snail
• Prowl: Leaf bug
• Yoketron: Praying mantis 
• Bumblebee: ...Bumblebee
• Bulkhead: Winter moth caterpillar 
• Arcee: Ant
• Blurr: Hawkmoth
• Rodimus Prime: Firefly
• Jazz: Stick bug
• Sentinel Prime: Dragonfly 
• Ultra Magnus: Emperor butterfly
• Megatron: Goliathus beetle 
• Starscream: Snakefly 
• Blitzwing: Locust 
• Lugnut: Giant Isopod 
• Shockwave: Water bug
• Soundwave: Cicada 
• Swindle: Grub
• Lockdown: Grasshopper
• Wasp: ...Wasp
• Blackarachnia: Black widow 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Cow
• Ratchet: Pig
• Prowl: Goat
• Yoketron: Guinea Pig
• Bumblebee: ...Bee
• Bulkhead: Donkey
• Arcee: Hen
• Blurr: Rabbit
• Rodimus Prime: Yak
• Jazz: Sheep
• Sentinel Prime: Horse
• Ultra Magnus: Alpaca
• Megatron: Cat
• Starscream: Rooster
• Blitzwing: Parrot
• Lugnut: Dog
• Shockwave: Deer
• Soundwave: Camel
• Swindle: Duck
• Lockdown: Buffalo
• Blackarachnia:  Spider (Charlotte’s web, am I right? I never read that book.)
• Wasp: Turkey

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He’s incredibly worried but has experienced the same thing enough times to put together what’s going on pretty quickly. He figures out you’re waking up from a nightmare and immediately leans over, looking down at you and wiping the tears from your eyes before pulling you into him and rocking you, shushing you while trying to calm you down.
• Prowl: He doesn’t have a lot of nightmares and usually just doesn’t dream in general, but that’s because he’s rather restless and doesn’t sleep that well most of the time. So, he ends up staying up and watching you sleep most of the time, and when he sees you struggling with a nightmare, he just cuddles you and hopes that it’ll calm down. If not, he’ll gently wake you and continue to hold you as you destress. 
• Ratchet: He, like some of the others, has a lot of nightmares and is used to it at this point- he’s had nightmares, patients with nightmares, etc... So, when you wake up screaming and crying, his first concern is your physical health- water and breathing techniques are the first things administered to you, and then he’s asking you about the dream and trying to talk you through it, why you had it, and reassuring you that nothing like that will ever happen (or happen again if it’s a flashback type). 
• Bumblebee: He hasn’t had any serious trauma that’s caused nightmares so he can’t relate to you at all, but he’s good to be around when you’re upset. The moment he sees your sleep is being disturbed to the point where you’re crying, he wakes you up, not prying about the nightmare or really acting like too much is wrong. Instead, he drags you to the living room, grabs your favorite snacks, turns on your favorite show/movie, and cuddles with you on the couch until you either fall back asleep or decide you want to do something else.
• Bulkhead: He’s panicking almost just as much if not more than you are. Serious empath, the moment he sees you’re upset by a nightmare he also gets upset. All he knows how to do is ask if you’re okay, and no matter what your answer is, he’s pulling you into his arms for cuddles, kissing your forehead, and rubbing your back. 
• Jazz: He puts it together quickly when you wake up screaming; what else could cause such a strong reaction? It snaps him out of his sleep even though he’s an incredibly deep sleeper. He’s asking what your dream was about and sitting you up, turning the lights on and scratching your back while flipping on some soothing music for you to listen to in order to get you back to sleep.
• Sentinel Prime: He’s had his fair share of nightmares since what happened with Elita One/Blackarachnia on the spider planet, but he’s usually pretty silent, thrashing around a bit and waking up in a cold sweat. So, when you wake him up screaming or crying, he’s startled and demanding to know what’s going on before the realization crashes over him and he’s asking what the dream was about and trying to reassure you that it’s okay, the dream wasn’t real, he’s there, etc.
• Ultra Magnus: He went through the great war, so as strong as he acts, he has frequent nightmares and needs just as much comforting as you do. Don’t be surprised if, a lot of nights, the both of you startle awake from bad nightmares and end up just crying in each other’s arms and talking about said nightmares until you eventually fall back asleep. Most of the time, neither of you talk about it afterwards either.
• Megatron: He isn’t startled at all and knows that all he needs to be focused on in that moment is making you feel better. So, he makes sure you’re fully awake and asks if you want to be touched. If you say you do, he’s pulling you to lay in his lap, and if you say you don’t, he leaves you where you are and lets you know that he’s there. He doesn’t sing very often, and no one would ever believe you if you told them this, but he sings you some lullabies until you’re lulled back into a peaceful slumber. 
• Blitzwing: The three personalities handle it differently. Icy wakes you up and makes sure you’re hydrated, calm, and breathing properly before attending to your emotional needs. Hothead wakes you up and gets you to decompress by venting about how horrible nightmares are with you and maybe doing some therapeutic destruction. Random just cuddles you half to death and tells you his best jokes in an attempt to make you feel better.
• Lugnut: He’s doing anything he can to remind you how much he loves you and that he’s always there- he knows having trauma and issues and whatnot can make some feel like they’re a burden, and he never wants you to feel that way. He’s kissing up and down your hands and arms, feet and legs, all over your face and the top of your head if you’ll let him.
• Starscream: At first he has no idea what’s going on and probably tells you to quiet down or something before realizing oh, wait, this is really serious and he probably needs to be comforting you. So, he tries to do just that, awkwardly reassuring you that everything is okay while also apologizing for his initial reaction. 
• Shockwave: He doesn’t... Understand, to be honest. He has protocols in place that keep him from having nightmares and it takes him a bit to realize that humans can’t just do that. Unlike some of the others who just take action based on instinct or on what works for them personally, he asks you what you need and provides it for you without a thought.
• Blackarachnia: She has a lot of nightmares, though a lot like Sentinel, hers are silent and hard to notice minus the part where she jolts awake in a cold sweat and looks around to make sure she’s not being attacked by alien spiders again. When she sees that you’re struggling with them, she silently pulls you into a cuddle and hugs you unless you want something else.

Chapter Text

• They meet after Rodimus graduates from the Autobot Academy and starts working for the lower ranks of the Elite Guard. Ultra Magnus has been freshly promoted to Magnus and is adjusting to the new job, there’s a bit of an age gap, but it’s not that big; Magnus is just a little older.
• Their relationship is pretty regular at first; a high up boss and his subordinate who never interact, just see each other in passing, but then Rodimus does some pretty impressive things, has a good impact in the war, and develops a very distinct personality and way of leadership that makes him stand out and start moving up the ranks.
• So, they start seeing each other a lot more. Once known as Hot Rod, Rodimus Prime becomes a higher up in the ranks of the Elite Guard and is usually directly under Ultra Magnus’s command with his own squadron for a variety of purposes, fighting Decepticons, saving civilians from disasters, responding to high-risk emergencies, that kind of thing. He’s basically a really versatile soldier.
• But, once the war calms down a bit, there’s not as much for Rodimus to do and he ends up on the Steelhaven or in Autobot City helping Ultra Magnus out quite a bit with more personal tasks; report, paperwork, security, battle strategies, and more. 
• Ultra Magnus realizes that he’s attracted to Rodimus almost immediately and that’s for one main reason; Rodimus treats him like a mech and not like a Magnus. 
• Rodimus is kind to him, but not in a kiss-ass way like Sentinel or some of the others or in the way that you are to someone you idolize- just... Kind, like you would be to a friend. It may have been inappropriate for the Prime to disregard their ranks and treat him like that, sure, but as long as no one else was around to see it... He could indulge in a little friendship, right? It was nice to have someone who treated him well just because they wanted to instead of out of fear or some ulterior motive. 
• So, he lets his guard down and treats Rodimus like a friend instead of a subordinate, too. Rodimus has a way of being kind and welcoming that makes him feel incredibly comfortable and warm whenever the other mech is around. It gets to a point where he can’t even bear to be away from the Prime for more than a day at a time anymore, and it’s kind of embarrassing, though he won’t admit it. 
• Meanwhile, Rodimus who has always admired Ultra Magnus, is happy to be getting close to him and getting to know him as a mech instead of just as his boss. He wants more action on the battlefield, which he isn’t getting doing cushy Magnus jobs, but that’s okay- he gets to be close to Ultra Magnus, so it’s worth it, right?
• Crossing the boundary between subordinate and Magnus was one thing, but then they start crossing the friendly boundary they’ve developed, and it turns into... Something else. 
• Ultra Magnus starts buying Rodimus random gifts here and there, Rodimus is getting progressively touchier with each day that passes, they have a bunch of inside jokes between them that no one else gets, and they just... Talk so casually, and everyone begins to notice it. There’s rumors that they’re sleeping together or dating that they just brush off, but it makes both of them start to think. 
• Ultra Magnus accepts his feelings really easily after thinking about it and is like yeah, okay, true. He shrugs it off and tries not to act on it at first- maybe he’s in love, but surely Rodimus doesn’t feel the same way and it would be inappropriate to have a romantic relationship with his subordinate regardless.
• Meanwhile, Rodimus tries everything he can to deny it. Him? Having a crush on Ultra Magnus? No way! He’s full-blown panicking, terrified that this is going to ruin their relationship, but deep down he knows that it’s true and now seems a little more nervous than he was before when he’s around Ultra Magnus upon making that realization.
• They skirt around for each other for a few weeks before Ultra Magnus decides to be the logical one who goes okay, this isn’t working, I miss him too much to keep doing this; clearly there’s something going on between us and I need to address it.
• So, he does. One day him and Rodimus are working on something and Rodimus, normally extroverted and loud and obnoxious, making jokes and talking to whatever comes to mind, is quiet and jumpy. 
• Finally, fed up with all of the nonsense, Ultra Magnus goes: “Rodimus Prime... I think we need to address our feelings for each other. This has been going on for too long.”
• Rodimus’s first instinct is to go like “aha, what? I have no idea what you’re talking about! Boy, I suddenly have somewhere to go! Really important business, y’know? Bye-”
• But before he can leave, Ultra Magnus is placing a servo on his shoulder strong enough to ground him there and talking again.
• “We can’t run away from this. If you leave now, it’ll come up again one time or another, and it’s going to bother the both of us until we address it. So, would you rather get it out of the way now or wait even longer? I hate seeing you as anxious as you’ve been recently.”
• With that, Rodimus hesitantly stays and they talk things out, agree to try dating, and set some boundaries that include their relationship starting out as a secret until they get more comfortable and established.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: “O-Oh my... I don’t think I look that good, they definitely played up my good features in that art quite a bit...”
• Prowl: “Primus... If this weren’t from you, I’d burn it.”
• Ratchet: “...Ugh. People buy this slag? I don’t mind it, but I’m concerned about whoever makes and buys these...”
• Bulkhead: “I-I... Oh, wow, never thought someone would like me enough to make something like this! Thanks, I guess.”
• Bumblebee: “Hell yeah, I’ve got merch! I’ve made it!”
• Jazz: “Huh... Definitely a weird gift, but I dig it. Is there that many people who like me?”
• Sentinel Prime: “Hah, of course there’s body pillows of me! I mean, have you seen my face? We’ll have to get you one, too.”
• Ultra Magnus: “...Earth pillows are quite odd. Do all of them look like this, or is this a special kind? Can I have one of you?
• Megatron: “Is this your idea of a joke? If so, it’s quite humorous, but... I think you’d put it to better use than I would.”
• Starscream: “Well, of course they’d make such a romantic design out of MY likeness. Wait... What do you mean the Megatron ones are more popular...?”
• Blitzwing: Icy; “Oh, wow. What a... Nice design. Thank you.” Hothead; “What the hell? They got my teeth wrong! This sucks!” Random; “Heh, we should get some more and string them up around base! It’ll be great!”
• Lugnut: “This is nice, thank you. Do they happen to sell ones of Lord Megatron as well...?”
• Shockwave: “I don’t see the point in this, but I appreciate the gift... The accuracy is surprising. They even got my antlers correct.”
• Soundwave: “This... does not compute. What a waste of resources.”
• Swindle: “As much as I love the look, I hope this is made out of some good material. Is it satin? What’s the thread count?”
• Lockdown: “Heh... This is cute. You really like things like this?”
• Blackarachnia: “Ugh... Some people are so weird, but you have one, don’t you? That’s actually adorable.”
• Wasp: “I... Uh... Thanks? Weird...”

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: He wants something nice and classical, maybe in one of those pretty churches he’s seen with everyone he knows invited, a giant cake, and a fancy ceremony, everyone dressed their best. He’s intent on going full earth tradition; suit/dress, his s/o in a suit or dress, the big cake, catering, officiated ceremony, vows, all the dances, the usual wedding party arrangements (Ratchet acts as the one who walks him down the aisle; Sentinel is his best man).
• Prowl: He wants something small, preferably at or by the temple he was trained in, but if the two of you can’t make it there, he’s more than happy to do it on earth. He doesn’t want anything to do with wearing human clothes, though, and it ends up being a small ceremony that the two of you have in a gorgeous nearby forest. 
• Ratchet: He’s not super into formality and doesn’t want a ceremony at all- it makes him feel awkward, and really, he thinks it’s a waste of time and money. So, unless you’re really passionate about having one for whatever reason, he just wants to sign the certificate, let everyone know, and be done with it. If you really do want a ceremony, though, he’ll let you do all the planning and doesn’t really have any preferences regarding it as long as it’s not too big or crazy.
• Bumblebee: He wants an absolutely crazy, party-driven wedding; not formal at all, best food possible, tons of oil and alcohol, basically just a giant party to celebrate. Him and Blurr probably speed race as do some of the others, and more than a few things are destroyed that day/night...
• Bulkhead: He wants something small and intimate, as big crowds can make him nervous, and a wedding is a huge deal to him- he doesn’t want to get anxious and choke up during it. So, the two of you joint-plan a small, sweet ceremony at the base with decorations and homemade food, only inviting Team Prime as well as some of your friends and family. 
• Jazz: He wants something like a cross between Prowl’s and Bee’s. He wants it outside, somewhere like a botanical/butterfly/rose garden on a sunny spring day, a somewhat classical ceremony with his and your favorite songs playing all throughout the day. There’s nice catering and a small wedding cake that Bulkhead and Bumblebee offered to provide for the wedding, and it’s on the more casual side with everyone wearing comfortable clothes, getting a little buzzed, and coming to dance and have a good time and catch up while celebrating your union.
• Sentinel Prime: He wants the best for you and for him. It’s him after all, what else could you expect? He gets ahold of the most gorgeous flowers, a beautiful inside venue ballroom type setting, the most expensive cake you could possibly imagine, and a custom-tailored suit for him and the dress/suit of your dreams. Every single Autobot is invited, as are all of your friends and family. 
• Ultra Magnus: A lot like Sentinel, he wants the best for the both of you, and a lot like Optimus, he wants a sweet, classical, formal ceremony. Expect it to be held on the Steelhaven, everyone dressed incredibly well and catering for humans and Cybertronians alike.
• Megatron: He wants something on Cybertron or at least still closely tied with his roots. Where he’s from, the typical tradition is for two Cybertronians to rip a piece of metal from their frame and exchange it, then have it welded into one of their digits to wear like a ring. He knows he can’t do that with you, but he does have a wedding ring made for you out of a maroon piece of his frame with your birthstone in the middle, and you have a small cross between an earth and Cybertron ceremony on the Decepticon base with all the other Decepticons there to attend.
• Starscream: He wants the wedding to be in the air... But when you tell him that you and like half of the guests attending won’t be able to fly, he begrudgingly compromises and decides to have it on one of the many large Decepticon ships... AKA, yes, you two have a space wedding. 
• Lugnut: He wants to let you plan it- you’re the love of his life, so surely the wedding should be able to be whatever you want it to be, right? He’ll pay for everything and go with you to plan everything, but for the most part, as long as it’s the wedding you want, he’s happy (and as long as Lord Megatron can attend and be part of it).
• Blitzwing: The three personalities all want different things, so the wedding is a little crowded with things; a classical wedding with formal attrire from Icy, loud music and tons of food and games from Hothead, and crazy decor and set on the coldest winter day of the year from Random. The two of you manage to make it work, and it turns out to be a not very pulled-together ceremony but still fun and overall good.
• Shockwave: He’s not quite sure he understands the point of a wedding. Why get married if you can’t bond or anything? It’s a marriage certificate, a piece of paper... But after you explain the significance of it to humans, he understands a little better and decides that he does in fact want to get married to you; it sounds like a beautiful sentiment, after all. He ends up deciding to go with you to get the certificate done and then holding a small reception for all of the Decepticons and anyone you’d like to invite after the fact. 
• Swindle: A wedding? That sounds like it costs money. He’s not too interested in planning an actual wedding ceremony (unless it’s free or at least incredibly cheap), but no worries, he buys you guys the nicest place to stay and goes all out on the honeymoon after the wedding.
• Lockdown: He’s actually pretty old-fashioned and quickly understands the sentiment behind the wedding whenever you explain the tradition to him, so while he’s not the most enthusiastic for the actual planning and ceremony, he’s down to do it with you if it’s something meaningful. You two probably have something incredibly private in a rustic venue, and, like Swindle, use most of your money for the honeymoon that comes after the fact.
• Blackarachnia: She hates formality and hates ceremonies. Expect a full out shotgun, Las Vegas type wedding with tons of partying after from her rather than a traditional ceremony.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Scrabble
• Prowl: Clue
• Ratchet: Operation
• Bumblebee: Candy Land
• Bulkhead: Sorry
• Arcee: Checkers
• Blurr: Aggravation
• Rodimus Prime: Connect 4
• Jazz: Trouble
• Sentinel Prime: Wheel Of Fortune
• Ultra Magnus: Backgammon
• Megatron: Chess
• Starscream: Cranium
• Lugnut: D&D
• Blitzwing: Guess Who
• Shockwave: Codenames
• Soundwave: Shoots & Ladders
• Swindle: Monopoly
• Lockdown: Battleship
• Blackarachnia: Risk
• Wasp: The Game Of Life

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Apples To Apples
• Prowl: Poker
• Ratchet: Old Maid 
• Bumblebee: Uno
• Bulkhead: Magic: The Gathering
• Jazz: 21
• Sentinel Prime: Slapjack 
• Ultra Magnus: Solitaire
• Megatron: Cards Against Humanity
• Lugnut: Crazy Eights
• Blitzwing: Pokémon
• Starscream: Speed
• Shockwave: Go Fish
• Soundwave: Hearts
• Lockdown: Bullshit 
• Swindle: Texas Hold Em
• Blackarachnia: Yahtzee
• Wasp: Yugi-oh 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: The Decepticons winning the war... And spiders
• Prowl: Dying alone/his selfish tendencies driving everyone away in the end
• Ratchet: A patient going offline on his watch/not being able to save someone (no matter how many times it’s already happened)
• Arcee: Being in stasis again/losing her memories
• Bumblebee: Silence/being alone
• Bulkhead: Destroying those closest to him/things that are dear to them
• Jetfire/Jetstorm: A serious physical or mental life-altering injury happening to the other twin
• Blurr: Tight/closed/small spaces
• Jazz: Letting others get close only for them to leave or for something to happen to them... And clowns/mimes
• Sentinel Prime: Being perceived as a failure by those he looks up to... And spiders
• Ultra Magnus: Dying before getting to see Cybertron prosperous and peaceful + retiring, settling down, starting a family, and maybe publishing a book
• Megatron: Losing the war/being forced to submit to Autobot rule
• Starscream: Vulnerability and failure
• Blitzwing: Those closest to him not being able to accept all of his personalities/losing interest when they realize how hard it can be to deal with all of him
• Lugnut: Letting Megatron down/failing him
• Shockwave: Getting discovered by the Autobots and prosecuted for being a Decepticon spy/having his cover blown
• Soundwave: Being commanded/controlled by (a) human(s)
• Swindle: Financial insecurity
• Lockdown: ^ and losing his mods/physical capabilities
• Blackarachnia: Never feeling normal/fitting in again... And spiders
• Wasp: Being forced to go back to The Stockade

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Master Chef Jr.
• Prowl: Guy’s Grocery Games
• Ratchet: Worst Cooks In America
• Bumblebee: Beat Bobby Flay
• Bulkhead: Cake Wars
• Jazz: Next Level Chef
• Sentinel Prime: Kitchen Nightmares
• Ultra Magnus: Master Chef
• Megatron: Hell’s Kitchen
• Starscream: Chopped
• Lugnut: Iron Chef
• Blitzwing: The Great British Baking Show
• Swindle: Next Level Chef
• Lockdown: Diners, Dive-Ins, And Dives
• Shockwave: Holiday Baking Championship
• Soundwave: The Great Food Truck Race
• Blackarachnia: Cutthroat Kitchen
• Wasp: Cupcake Wars

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• Optimus Prime: Wendy’s
• Ratchet: Arby’s
• Prowl: Panda Express
• Bumblebee: McDonald’s
• Bulkhead: Starbucks
• Blurr: Jack In The Box
• Arcee: Cinnabon
• Rodimus Prime: Domino’s
• Jazz: Long John Silver’s 
• Sentinel Prime: A&W
• Ultra Magnus: Chick-Fil-A
• Megatron: Burger King
• Starscream: Dairy Queen
• Blitzwing: Subway
• Lugnut: Jersey Mike’s
• Shockwave: Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. 
• Soundwave: Dunkin’ Donuts
• Lockdown: Popeye’s
• Swindle: KFC
• Blackarachnia:  Golden Chick
• Wasp: Cici’s Pizza

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• Optimus Prime: Has a hero complex and feels like he needs to be in charge of everything all the time because he doesn’t have faith in others to make it go decently. Also self-sacrifices because he doesn’t want to have to deal with certain things in the long run. 
• Prowl: Makes the worst assumptions about you and others incredibly fast.
• Ratchet: Avoids any emotional conflict or opening up whatsoever. The two of you need to talk? Cool, he’s working in the med bay until you forget about it or drop it. He does not care how long it takes. He can stay there for months. 
• Bumblebee: Lies and acts happy all the time when he’s not so others don’t worry about his wellbeing, only for all of his issues to boil over until he blows up at them or does something stupid. Also impulsive and makes too many important decisions without considering the feelings of those around him.
• Bulkhead: Not really toxic by himself but enables other people’s toxicity if they’re close to him.
• Jazz: Actually, a very well-rounded individual who doesn’t have too many toxic traits. The only issue he really has is worrying about everyone else instead of himself, and he goes to therapy. 
• Sentinel Prime: Everything.
• Ultra Magnus: Favoring certain subordinates over others and making it very obvious. Applies to his personal life too, God forbid he ever have children. 
• Megatron: Hyperfixates on and develops an obsession for potential lovers and can’t take no for an answer. Literally pursues them until they say yes only to lose interest as soon as they do. Also a brilliant liar who uses that and serious gaslighting skills regularly, but that’s more in a work context.
• Starscream: Chronic cheater whenever he’s in a committed relationship, also tends to gaslight his significant others and is great at spreading lies to everyone about everyone in general.
• Blitzwing: Icy likes to sadistically toy with people when they’re in a bad mood, Hothead takes all of his anger about other things out on you, and Random gaslights for funsies.
• Lugnut: Talks over you and everyone else. Also interrupts or pretends not to have heard you talking when he gets bored of whatever it is you’re saying.
• Shockwave: Drowns himself in work to avoid his problems and conveniently disappears if he has a conflict with you. Probably did the Longarm Prime spy mission thing because he had a nasty breakup and didn’t want to deal with giving that femme’s stuff back to her or confronting her, needed an excuse to dip. She never got her stuff back.
• Soundwave: Records things you say/do without you knowing in the moment to later use against you in future arguments like a psychopath.
• Swindle: Uses your credit card/swipes cash from your wallet and pretends he has no idea what you’re talking about when you call him out on it. 
• Lockdown: Ghosts you for days at a time because he thinks it’s kinda funny to see you get desperate or upset. Says he’ll call you after work and then never does.
• Blackarachnia: Gives you the silent treatment and avoids you when she’s mad at you because she knows it upsets you, not because she needs space or wants to process.
• Wasp: Bullies others (but only those that are weaker or less liked than him) to make himself look better because he’s insecure. 

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Lionfish
• Ratchet: Blob fish
• Prowl: Sting ray
• Yoketron: Manta ray
• Bumblebee: Yellow tang
• Bulkhead: Sea turtle
• Arcee: Shrimp
• Blurr: Sailfish
• Rodimus Prime: Lobster
• Jazz: Blue tang
• Sentinel Prime: Sea lion
• Ultra Magnus: Great white shark
• Megatron: Hammerhead shark
• Starscream: Clown fish
• Blitzwing: Seal
• Lugnut: Puffer fish
• Shockwave: Octopus 
• Soundwave: Crab
• Swindle: Sea urchin
• Lockdown: Flounder
• Blackarachnia: Butterfly fish
• Wasp: Trigger fish

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• Optimus Prime: Red oscar
• Prowl: Sting ray (sting rays can be fresh or salt water, apparently)
• Yoketron: Catfish
• Ratchet: Plecostomus fish
• Bumblebee: Fancy goldfish
• Bulkhead: Turtle
• Arcee: Crayfish
• Blurr: Rainbow trout
• Rodimus Prime: Fire eel
• Jazz: Whitefish
• Sentinel Prime: Beta fish
• Ultra Magnus: Discus
• Megatron: Beluga sturgeon
• Starscream: Neon tetra
• Lugnut: Alligator
• Blitzwing: Golden trout
• Shockwave: Cichlid 
• Soundwave: Gourami
• Swindle: Arowana
• Lockdown: Loach
• Blackarachnia: Banded fishing spider
• Wasp: Guppy

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: To establish peace between the Autobots and Decepticons/for a nice, small break
• Prowl: For true inner peace/to go to a nice animal sanctuary some day
• Ratchet: To never have to have someone go offline under his care or be hurt while working with him again/for a moment of peace and quiet
• Bumblebee: For those he cares about to stop brushing him off + take him more seriously/to be able to make everyone laugh
• Bulkhead: For everyone around him to be happy/for more art supplies
• Jazz: For everything to calm down and for everyone around him to enjoy life for once/to get some nice earth CDs or an MP3 player
• Sentinel Prime: To go back in time to relive when everything was still good/to make Optimus and Blackarachnia like him again without any real work
• Ultra Magnus: To win the war/for all of his children (i.e; Optimus and co.) to start behaving
• Megatron: To win the war/to punt Starscream down a few flights of stairs
• Starscream: To take over Megatron’s position and get rid of him without any real consequences/to inconvenience Megatron in any way possible
• Blitzwing: To have someone accept and love all three of his personalities equally/to go on a nice date with someone
• Lugnut: To make Megatron happy/to be able to spend some time with his wife 
• Shockwave: To be honest with others/to have a less awkward looking Autobot alt mode 
• Swindle: To be permanently financially secure/to get all the money he could ever want
• Lockdown: To not constantly be on edge and feel like he’s in danger/to have all the mods he could ever want
• Blackarachnia: To feel normal and at home in her body again/to throw Sentinel into a pit of spiders
• Wasp: To go back in time and fix things/for Sentinel’s head to have remained stolen

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• Optimus Prime: Doesn’t really know how to handle it when it first starts. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but he’s spent most of his life being walked all over and rejected by others, so for someone to love him so openly and not be embarrassed about it... Wow. It has him taken aback. Once he gets used to it, he reciprocates, holding your hand all the time and kissing the top of your head every few minutes. Admittedly, you can be very over the top about it in his opinion, but you’re unabashed way of showing how much you love him makes him feel so secure and loved in your relationship that he can’t help but like it regardless of the fire-like blush that takes over his cheeks whenever you sing a love song to him or use the baby voice in front of the other Autobots.
• Ratchet: Like Optimus, he doesn’t know how to handle it, but instead of begrudgingly accepting with time it he immediately starts forcing himself to reciprocate. He knows that what you have is special and that no one- bots, cons, or humans- is guaranteed a lot of time, so he shouldn’t mess around with you, especially now that he’s getting older. Eventually he gets as obnoxious as he can about it, always keeping a hand on your back and calling you sweet terms of endearment like “sweetspark” and “dear” in front of everyone else. The other bots don’t comment on it because 1) they’re happy that Ratchet finally has something nice going for him, and 2) they don’t want him to get embarrassed and stop loving on you the way you deserve.
• Bumblebee: Openly adores it- and openly adores you. Most would argue that he’s actually worse about the PDA than you are. You keep the other Autobots from recharging at night with your loud compliments and singing to each other, but Bumblebee doesn’t care. One of his favorite things to do is pick you up, spin you around, and hug you as tight as he can without crushing you. 
• Bulkhead: Loves it but is also super embarrassed by it, too. He gets super flustered and quiet when you do it whether it’s in front of the other Autobots or in private. He isn’t sure how to reciprocate through music or physical affection or even words, but he’s sure to make you plenty of art pieces to make sure you know that he appreciates you and how much you love him when you could’ve chosen literally anyone else.
• Prowl: Isn’t sure how to cope at first because you’re his first relationship and your affection can be very... Intense. He’s never really done this with anyone else and isn’t sure if it’s normal for Cybertronians to be so affectionate with their conjunx, let alone humans to be with their partners. He’s a lot more subtle than you are, keeping a servo on your back or shoulder and sitting super close to you rather than singing you songs or yelling to the rooftops about how much he loves you. Still, he does love you very much and learns to at least accept the affection you offer. 
• Sentinel Prime: Pretends that he hates it but actually loves it and will indulge in private. In front of others, he shrugs you off with crossed arms and scolds you for PDA. In private, he follows you around like a lost puppy and whines like one too any time you’re not touching him. His favorite way to be touching you is to be holding you in his arms and have you curled up against his chest so you can hear his spark beat.
• Jazz: Doesn’t reciprocate with nearly the same intensity and is a lot more chill, but he loves singing your songs with you. His favorite thing is when you cling to his arm and press a kiss against his shoulder plate, or when you ask to sit on his shoulder plate so you can wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek over and over again in that cute way you do.
• Ultra Magnus: He’s one of the only ones that it makes legitimately uncomfortable when you’re in front of others. He thinks it makes him look unprofessional and that it makes the Decepticons and his subordinates alike unable to take him seriously. However, once you’re in private again, he’ll apologize for not taking your affection as openly as he feels he would be able to were it not for his position.
• Megatron: Absolutely adores it and has no problem with you doing it in front of other people or mechs- encourages it, even, just to make sure that everyone knows you belong to him. While he’s not quite as goofy and sunshine-esque about it like you are, he has no problem returning your physical affections and offering you the occasional serenade, even if he prefers to shower you in expensive gifts more than anything.
• Starscream: Teases you for being so needy and clingy all while hyping up how great he must be to be receiving so much affection, but were you to stop he’d be absolutely heart broken. He’s a huge dick about it. The songs do embarrass him, though, he’s more into the cuddles and kisses aspect of it.
• Lugnut: A lot like Bumblebee, he absolutely adores it. The only time he might discourage it would be while he’s busy talking to Megatron about Decepticon-work matters, and even then, it’s hard for him to do. He’s one of the few who find the baby voice to be the cutest most precious thing on the planet, as he asks you to do it unprompted most days.
• Blitzwing: It depends on which personality he’s sporting at the moment. Icy begrudgingly accepts the affection but doesn’t reciprocate, Hothead pretends that he hates it but his love for it is very thinly veiled as he’ll claim that he can’t stand it one second only to cling to you the next, and Random 100% is obsessed with it (and with you) to the point where your love songs for him always end up turning to duets and he’ll ditch important Decepticon-work matters just to cuddle you for a little longer.
• Blackarachnia: She reacts a lot like Sentinel does despite hating him and everything he is, she’s just not as flustered or angry about it. While she rejects your goofy songs and frequent kisses in front of Autobots and Decepticons alike, she eats it up when the two of you are either in private or in front of people whose opinions she doesn’t care about. However, if someone else has shown interest in you recently or something, she encourages your affections a little more than she normally would to get the point across to whoever it is that you’re taken.
• Lockdown: Eh, he doesn’t really care one way or the other. He’s content that you love him so much but he’d be just as content if you expressed it any other way too- gifts, kind words, favors, etc. He does occasionally try to make the effort to initiate physical contact because he knows you like it but he’s always been more into doing favors for his partners to express his affection as the mushy physical affection is a little over the top for him to feel comfortable doing.
• Swindle: It’s not really his thing tbh, he’s always preferred receiving gifts (or money) from significant others as a display of their affection. He allows you to do it because he loves you and wants you to be happy, but while he doesn’t hate touch, it certainly isn’t his preference. His favorite part is probably the songs you sing him, which he frequently records without your knowledge. Don’t tell him I told you that lmao.

Chapter Text

• Optimus Prime: Shoulders every single burden all by himself. Will not ask for help and open up to others when needed, even though not doing so ends up negatively impacting everyone more in the end than asking for help would've.
• Bumblebee: Toxic positivity- enough said. You vent to him and he's like "oh but you have so much to be happy about!".
• Bulkhead: Will not take sides in any conflict of his own accord even if he knows that one side is "right" if he fears it will upset any of his friends. Passively steps out of conflicts even when he's needed, unless it's an absolute emergency.
• Ratchet: Refuses to open up about trauma that he has even though it affects the way he acts and negatively impacts the people around him, who are very confused as to why he acts the way he does.
• Prowl: Has an ungodly superiority complex, tends to think he's better or smarter than others (even when he's not), though he's trying to work on that.
• Sentinel Prime: I think we saw in the show, but he's very prideful and will never admit that he's wrong in any situation. Also terrible at offering genuine apologies- more of a sarcastic "I'm sorry you feel that way" than a genuine "I'm sorry I did (x)" kind of guy.
• Jazz: Gets uncomfortable when things get too serious to the point that if people try to open up to him about something deep, he will change the subject or deflect them 90% of the time.
• Ultra Magnus: Too by the book. Will do things that he doesn't believe in or ignore wrong doings for the sake of legality.
• Megatron: Very selfish and very charming, which is a bad combo. Similar to Starscream, he will be nice to your face if needed and then screw you over in the end as long as it benefits him.
• Starscream: So many, but the worst one is lying to people's face and then talking shit behind their backs or doing them wrong for his own benefit.
• Blitzwing: Depends on which of the three personalities you're dealing with because they all have some pretty over the top toxic traits, but the worst and most prevalent one is that all three of them tend to belittle others to feel better about themselves- especially if their life is going bad or if they're feeling insecure about something in particular.
• Lugnut: The Megatron obsession, obviously. It gets to the point that anyone and anything else in his life that should be prioritized get(s) pushed to the side for Megatron's sake when Megatron doesn't value him nearly as much.
• Blackarachnia: Very vengeful and obsessive about getting revenge to the point that it's unhealthy. Obviously this is seen in her TFA episodes where she wants revenge on Optimus/Sentinel for what happened when they were in school- but those emotions are over a huge tragedy that happened in her life and are almost understandable. This toxic trait also applies to, say, someone who accidentally shoulder checked her or took her lunch from the staff fridge. If you wrong her in the slightest, she will make sure she has revenge, even if it was a genuine mistake.