Chapter Text
Technoblade hates Posada. He always has. He avoided it as much as he could whenever he was on the path, so he’s not really sure how he ended up here. The tavern around him is dark and musty, probably older than he is. The ale in his cup tastes like piss and the bard across the room isn’t really doing a good job.
The other patrons seem to think the same as they start booing and throwing bread at him. The boy, perhaps 18 or 19, throws back glares in response, but still packs up his guitar. Or is it a lute? Techno doesn’t really care either way. Then he accidentally makes eye contact with the boy; his first mistake.
The bard saunters his way to Techno’s table and takes the seat across from him. “Hello,” he smiles.
Techno raises an eyebrow in response.
“Have a review about my performance?” The bard flips his hair out of his eyes. Techno notes the slight vibration from his medallion. Interesting.
“They aren’t real.” Techno settles on after a minute of thinking. His second mistake.
This seems to catch the boy off guard. “Huh?”
“The creatures in your song, they aren’t real.”
The bard huffs what might be something between a laugh and a scoff. “And how would you know?”
Techno tilts his head, amused. “Because I’ve been alive longer than your name.”
The bard mumbles something akin to I doubt that but moves on before Techno can dwell on it. “Oh ho ho ho. What do you have here? A large man with oddly colored eyes and hair, brooding in a corner by himself, with twin blades. You, my good sir, are a witcher aren’t you?”
Techno takes a gulp of his ale. The bard continues, undeterred by his silence.
“And judging by the medallion around your neck, you must be the Blood God. The famous Butcher of Blaviken.”
Techno narrows his eyes at that. “What happened in Blaviken is none of your business, bard.”
The boy isn’t fazed. “Perhaps not, but what is happening here is my business. Why would the famous Blood God be here, on the outskirts of Posada of all places?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same thing.”
“What, you don’t normally sit in the corner booth of taverns and brood with your ale and pink hair.”
Techno eyes the bard as he lounges in his seat. “What’s wrong with my hair?”
“Huh?” As the bard furrows his brow Techno notes that he is very expressive with his body language.
“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned my hair. Do you not like it or something?” He has to fight to keep the smile off his face. He’s not sure if the boy can sense his teasing. Then he smiles and throws his head back in laughter and Techno has his answer.
“No, it’s not that. I quite like your hair actually, though you could go for a nicer style.”
Techno runs a hand through his ponytail. He spends a few more minutes entertaining the bard before he gets up to leave. The bard follows him out of the tavern and up the mountain. Techno thinks that maybe he can lose the boy if he mounts Carl but his thoughts are interrupted by an odd sound.
A rustling in the dry leaves a few feet from the dirt road. He stops in his tracks. For the first time he realizes where they are. In a small valley of sorts. High red clay walls surround the path. Half dead trees and bushes decorate the sides. The perfect place for an ambush, he thinks with a start. There’s a flash of something in the distance but Techno reacts too late.
The bard is down on the ground before he can draw his blade. As Techno turns to face their attacker he feels arms grab him from behind. He tries to fight his way out of their grip, but he only receives a hit to the back of his head for the efforts. The hit doesn’t really do anything but make his ears ring. The second one blurs his vision and the third makes things start to fade.
By the time he’s fully aware of his surroundings, Techno regrets ever going near Posada. He attempts to move his hands only to find them tied to a person behind him. He assumes it’s the bard. The cave around them is obviously well lived in. There are rustic decorations, furniture, and a basic stove. For a moment Techno is purely confused. This looks like someone’s house. Why are they tied up in someone’s house?
A curtain shifting catches his attention. Through the doorway walks a tall thin figure. They wear deep blue linen with gold accents. Once the clothing might have been fit for a king, but now it’s so worn it’s almost sad. Their hair is braided with a simple silver circlet resting between the curls. Techno is lost on the significance to this person until they turn to face him. Red irises meet pure white. Oh.
“Well, well, it seems you’re awake.” They have a deep, regal, voice. Something fit for a king.
“Yes, it’s wonderful. Can you tell us exactly why we’re tied up in your humble abode?” The bard is angry. Which is understandable, in all honesty.
The figure sweeps their way over to the bard. At the sight of them he loses his words. They kneel in front of him before leaning back. “Only if you tell me why you are wandering around our mountain. Especially together. An odd pair you make; a witcher and a-”
“We were just walking.” The bard interrupts. Techno can hear the way his heartbeat increases. Whatever it was they were about to say is something he doesn’t want Techno to know. “I swear on the old gods!”
“On the old gods? Interesting.” They take a step back into Techno’s line of sight.
“We did not mean to cause any trouble, your majesty.” Techno inclines his head, the best he can do while still tied to a bard.
“Your Majesty?” Said bard questions. “You’re royalty?”
“Ah, yes, how rude of me. I am Eret.”
The bard stirs. “Eret? As in Monarch Eret? Ruler of the Elves?”
Eret smiles a bit, but it seems forced. “That would be correct.”
“But I thought you were dead?” His words are soft, almost sad.
Techno leans his head back with a sigh. Eret loses their smile all together. “So that’s what the humans are saying about me. How lovely. No, I am very much alive. As are a number of my people. No matter what propaganda the humans speak, we still live.”
“I’m sorry.”
Techno jolts with a heh? Did the bard just apologize?
Eret furrows their brow at him. “I do not need your pity, bard.”
“No, but I’m not offering it. All I offer is my sympathy. I, too, know what it’s like to watch your people die.”
Eret dons a sad smile. They reach down to cut the ropes keeping the bard and Technoblade together. Once they are up Eret offers them both apologies and food.
“By the way,” the bard starts when they finish their meal. “My name is William, but my friends call me Wilbur.”
Techno glances up to see the other two looking at him expectantly. “Uhhh, my name is Technoblade.”
There’s a knowing glint in Eret’s eyes as they nod. The group spends a few hours together before Techno tries to take his leave. William follows after him with a small skip in his step. The bard continues to talk about their small adventure.
“It’s amazing really. I never thought I would meet someone with such a large historical importance. The elves deserve so much more respect than the humans give them.”
Techno glances at Carl. William suddenly stops talking. There’s a moment of quiet concern as he kneels to the ground at the edge of the road. He lets out an exaggerated gasp.
“Techno! Look!”
Technoblade looks over William’s shoulder to see a small black and white cat staring up at them. Wil lets out a small coo. The cat meows at them before flopping on the ground, revealing its belly to the sky. Wil gasps again before singing a small jig.
“Silly! Silly motherfucker with his arms in the air. Silly motherfucker with his arms in the air. Silly motherfucker!”
Techno can’t help but huff in amusement as William pets the cat before standing up as if nothing happened. He starts talking again, this time about how he’s going to make a song from their adventure together.
“Why do you want to make a song?” Techno questions.
“I’m a bard, Technoblade, it’s what I do.”
“But why me?”
“You told me my songs were about things that aren’t real. Our adventure, what we just went through, that was real.” William strums his guitar (or lute? Techno still doesn’t know the difference) before singing a verse.
From when the Blood God fought
A silver-tongued devil
His army of elves
At his hooves did they revel
“What happened to the elves deserving more respect?” Techno mumbles from behind the bard.
William turns around to meet Techno’s eyes. For a moment it’s just red and brown. Then William gives a sad smile.
“Respect doesn’t make history.”
“William-”
“Please, Technoblade, I said my friends call me Wilbur.”
“Alright, Wilbur, I think you’re full of it.”
Techno laughs as Wilbur lets out an undignified squawk of protest. He’s actually offended until Techno hides his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with laughter. Wilbur smiles with a small giggle then starts to strum his guitar again.