Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The setting sun cast golden light across the mountains, their shadowed silhouettes reaching up from the horizon to frame the golden dusk. A gust of wind swept through the group that had congregated, ruffling fur and clothes in a way that was rather alarming — most had never exactly felt wind before. A single leaf fluttered to the ground from far above and Frisk crunched it beneath their shoe. To the monsters, there was no sight more beautiful, with coppers and golds and oranges and reds all bleeding together into a limitless ceiling up overhead. 

A pathway of pebbles meandered down the mountainside, then broadened into a tarmac road that was lost in the sea of pine trees. Everything was fresher, cleaner and more open than anything below the mountain, like stepping outside for the first time after months of solitude. 

Freedom. They were free. A millennium of imprisonment ended in an instant. An invisible pressure had lifted from the shoulders of everyone there (or perhaps the barrier had more tangible magical traces than originally apparent).

Whatever the case, the view really was breathtaking.

“i know the sky is cool and all, but we should probably get back inside.” Sans cut into the content silence.

Toriel sighed and tore her gaze from the stunning view, “I suppose you are right. We should discuss how exactly we plan to reintroduce ourselves to the humans without starting another war. We need to be diplomatic about this, lest it all go wrong again.” She pointedly glared at Asgore. 

“Tomorrow we meet in the throne room to discuss how we proceed.” The king sheepishly agreed, “No running off and terrorising people.”

“don’t expect me to be awake when we get there, pap might have to drag me.” And with that, Sans strolled off behind a tree and didn’t reappear.

“Night punks.” Undyne tucked Alphys under her arm and sped off back down the passageway.

“WAIT FOR ME UNDYNE!” Papyrus called as he sprinted off after them. 

Toriel offered her ex-husband a glance and a curt “Goodnight, Asgore”  before taking Frisk’s hand and returning into the caverns of the mountain.

“who’re we sending up?” Sans questioned once everyone had settled.

An ancient dining table had been dragged out from a dusty corner and set up properly for the first time in centuries. Chairs were kidnapped from various places and cushions dragged from bedrooms. Undyne grinned mischievously, showing off her rather impressive array of razor-sharp teeth, and dropped a blushing Alphys into her lap. Papyrus had given up on trying to get Sans to sit in a chair appropriate for his short stature (or any chair at all — he was just… floating), having resolved to huff dramatically with his arms crossed firmly. Toriel herself had opted to bring a snail pie for the meeting and had pulled up her old armchair from her private quarters (it had a nice function that allowed her to channel magic into it for personal heating, though she couldn’t remember for the life of her where she’d got it).

Papyrus looked a little confused, “WHY DON’T WE ALL GO UP? I STILL THINK WE SHOULDN’T BE KEEPING THIS FROM EVERYONE ELSE.”

There was a collective sigh, but Sans calmly responded, “if everyone goes at once there won’t be a big enough exit. the kiddos’d get crushed.”

“I say we bring the strongest of the strong to show those human bastards who’s the boss!” Undyne declared, brandishing a glowing spear.

“M-maybe that’s not a great i-idea Undyne. Humans are, well, umm, a bit afraid of us.” Alphys piped up, supported by Frisk furiously shaking their head.

Toriel folded her paws in her lap and mulled over the options before putting out her own opinion. “What about representatives from various groups? There aren’t exactly enough of every species left to have one from each but a wide variety would show the humans that we are not only numerous but also willing to communicate, even if it does go a little… haphazardly. If each group has representation, not necessarily speaking but just as a presence, we are shown as a democracy that is united as one, that way they will have to take us seriously.”

Frisk applauded her, grinning.

CNN Breaking News ✅ @cnnbrk

Previously unknown civilisation emerges from under a dormant volcano in Iceland. Witnesses attest that they are sentient and possess human levels of intelligence, however the United Nations has yet to make a decision on what to do next.
[https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/30/europe/new-society-emerged-iceland-intl/index.html]

783.2k likes 130.8k retweets and comments

🔘Monday Moron @motivation

what is happening????

32 likes 20 retweets

🔘Deal with it tomorrow @gotobedeveryone

this cant be real we arent in a shit urban fantasy book

13 likes 2 retweets

🔘aaaaaaaaa @aaaaaa

i got a friend who lives by ebott its actually happening. we do live in a shit fantasy apparently

4 likes

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 BuzzFeed ✅ @BuzzFeed

Iceland’s newest arrivals — friend or foe? Locals shocked to meet the monsters that have lived beneath them for a thousand years. Exclusive pictures here!

126.9k likes 40.1k retweets and comments

🔘Fun with furries @furryfricker69

giant goat daddy step on me 🥵🥵

3 likes 

🔘what @adwfekvkdkc

isnt that like their president or something? you just thirsted over an Important Person whos probably reading the comments

7 likes

🔘Twotter @tweetweet

The skeleton is both terrifying and oddly cute. he’s so short omg

15 likes 1 retweet

🔘bassssssssic Binch @fiteme

Could you stick your hand in the eye socket? What about… other appendages ☠️☠️

1 like

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“jesus fuck what’s with all the cameras.” Sans muttered to himself, burrowing further into his jacket and slumping further down the courtroom bench.

The flashes were bright and searing, moments of lightning that went straight through his skull and rattled around like the cacophony of voices — so fucking loud. The underground was never this loud, hell even New Home on market days was quieter than this shithole.

Voices, once a hushed murmur, had started to raise in volume until he could hardly think, pushing out any hope of calm in lieu of a deafening roar so massive he felt like his skull might crack from the pressure.

He’d switched out his regular hoodie for a furred coat, recommended due to the icy winds above ground. Wind! Their little party’s reactions to the breeze had apparently ended up all over… Tumbler, was it? Whatever. It was cold as balls outside and that was all he cared about when it came to hoodie-selection. He may not feel the cold, but exaggerating his more magical traits could land him in the uncanny valley, according to Alphys. Also big hoodies made disappearing into layers of fur easier. And softer. 

The feathery hood was light against his cheek and he allowed himself a moment to lean into the small comfort before he had to face the big guns. He may not have had an actual speaking role, but this was stressful enough.

He was at least holding up better than some people. The Moldsmol had yet to re-solidify.

United Nations ✅ @UN

Good luck to our ambassadors @MariaL and @OliverT as they begin negotiations with the Ebott Mountain ambassadors later today. Arrangements for a full UN meeting are underway.

1.6mil likes 201k retweets and comments

(attached is a series of photos from what seems to be a repurposed courthouse. In one, the front row seats contain an odd assortment of creatures, quite a few of whom don’t actually fit onto the benches. Captioning below the image reads ‘Ambassadors from Ebott Mountain prepare for initial proceedings’.)

🔘      Maria Leoni @MariaL

I am honoured to be involved in this historic moment. Hopefully, these negotiations will be the beginning of a peaceful and mutually beneficial relationship between humankind and those we share our planet with.

49.0k likes 2.1k retweets and comments

🔘    Clever username @ibreakstoryimmersion

is that a fishtank????

10 likes

🔘pisstank @pisstank

Sure is! And the betentacled lass inside looks rather fetching if i do say so myself!

0 likes 18 comments

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“We ask for the rights of free speech and communication with the wider world, to not be silenced or kept a secret. In such a… connected world, so different from our own, we request social etiquette and integration for those who are so inclined, and peace for those who do not wish to interact with humanity and instead hope for an agreement of peace.” Asgore spoke to the assembly, clear and dignified. He had had centuries of practice in making sure his voice did not waver or give any leeway for attack, and while the situation may have gotten to him a tad, he hoped nobody could tell.

“We request the right to work and be educated, to a basic level of non-discrimination and equality, and for our relationship henceforth to be one of mutual understanding, not fear. We shall learn the cultures and laws of human society, and in return we ask for our traditions and manners of living to be respected and tolerated, if not welcomed with open arms.”

He finished with a slight bow, then smoothed his robes beneath himself and sat back down. Toriel would have been so much better at this, but tensions between the former queen and her subjects weren’t quite dissolved, probably never would be, so he was their best shot. She sat with the monster representatives who all looked distinctly uncomfortable at the number of humans, while Undyne stood beside Asgore, royal guard armour mostly missing save for her stoic expression and iron-clad will.

Questions were fired and lights flashed, devices beeped and reporters scribbled on notepads. While the courtroom was large (at least compared to anything underground), it could not comfortably hold the sheer number of people within, leading to an oppressive pressure. 

The requests had been stated and the publicity stunts over, now was time to hash out the details. Dull work, but someone had to do it. 

“You want us to do what?” Alphys squeaked, nearly toppling off the sofa in Toriel’s new house. 

Toriel sighed, “To foster informal relations with humanity and break down the cultural gaps, we are asking you to utilise the extensive social media of the modern day.”

Oliver, the human ambassador, pipes up, “She wants you to make a twitter.”

The other human swats him on the arm, “God no, stay off of twitter. That website is full of bad politics and is the ultimate cesspool of humanity. Get instagram or something.”

“Regardless of what you choose to make the account on, that’s the general idea, yes. Make a twitter.” Toriel rolls with it.

Undyne, who had been scrolling some app or another on her new phone, looked up to grin mischievously. She turned the phone to show off a brand new tiktok account under the name FishSticks69. “Betcha I can get the most followers.”

Sans frantically started tapping away, bones clicking away on the altered touchscreen, “it’s on, undies”

Chapter Text

“Just a few documents left and the house is yours.” The solicitor says as she slides a few pages across the desk to Toriel and Frisk, though really all three of them know that Frisk has long since given up on paying attention to the dull legalities and money jargon.

They instead busy themselves by texting Kid and a few other friends. Getting separated so far around the city, shoved into tents, bounced around temporary houses, then finally getting to the stage of actually buying real houses has been awful and strained a few friendships, but at least all of Frisk’s friends now have phones. It almost makes up for everything.

Almost.

They can all text each other now, at least.

ArmedAndAtTheReady(ornot): damnnnnnnn this new bed is so SOFTT 

FriskyBits: ur in a permanent house already???

ArmedAndAtTheReady(ornot): hehe i am Speed

FriskyBits: no fair :(((((((( were still in the solcitores doing the last bits. the tour was so boring

ArmedAndAtTheReady(ornot): maybe we’ll be neighbours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ArmedAndAtTheReady(ornot): ✨✨forever sleepover✨✨

FriskyBits: if your beds so soft we’re totally sleeping at yours forever then

 “2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom. It’s a terrace on the end of Thunburg road, semi-detached technically, and the upstairs flat is available to move in as soon as possible.” The solicitor rambles, “Of course you know this already — Jess says the tour went really well — but I’m so excited for you! I’ve been watching the news, everyone has really, and the personal accounts and stuff popping up all over the internet have been a real insight into the whole monster thing. It’s been… inspiring, I guess?”

“Personal Accounts?” Toriel asks, tone deliberately light and curious. Of course she’s aware of everyone who’s going public, but knowing her she probably wants to check in with an outsider’s perspective. Getting the opinion of the general public or whatever.

“Oh yeah! There’s this monster musician who’s blowing up at the moment, Napstablook I think their name was? Some really powerful stuff right there, sounds brilliant.”

What? Napstablook got famous before anyone else? They deserve it absolutely — ghost music really is a wonder — but Frisk has assumed that the first person to blow up online would be someone a little more… outspoken. There were a number of people who came to mind.

ShiningStar: uncle mettaton!!

SparklyStar: Yes dear?

ShiningStar: blooky got human famous before you 

There’s silence from Mettaton. The little ellipsis bubble pops up and disappears a few times. 

They wait as Toriel carefully reads over the fine print on the papers. A chilly breeze flutters through an ajar window. The solicitor sniffles, pushes her glasses up her nose, and keeps chattering—something about magical cosmetics causing mayhem in the makeup industry. Interesting, for sure, but nobody in Frisk’s house really has any use for makeup, so they file the knowledge away for later. Frisk’s fingers tap a staccato rhythm on the chair. It matches the clack clack clack of the keyboard and the clock ticking overhead. 

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Eventually, Toriel signs a few papers with an elegant flourish and passes them back to the solicitor, who beams. 

“So, since all that’s out of the way I’m happy to say, once the paperwork goes through, you’ll be the new owner of 43b Thunburg road!” The solicitor chirps. “Keep an eye out for your neighbours, I’ve heard that there might be some familiar faces in that area.”

Just as they back up to leave, Frisk’s phone pings at last.

SparklyStar: I adore my dearest cousin and I love them with all of my heart. So incredibly proud that they’re getting the attention they deserve

SparklyStar: but I take this as a personal challenge

Frisk is beginning to regret this, just a little bit. A tad. Not by much. What could possibly go wrong?

SparklyStar: Do you by any chance know how ‘tiktok’ works?

-

bone broth(er): UNDYNE!!! METTATTON HAS MADE AN INTERNET VIDEO AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!!!! IT IS MY FAVOURITE VIDEO

Attached is the most egregiously horny thirst-trap tiktok ever produced. It’s barely 2 minutes long and yet manages to commit sins that humanity wasn’t even aware existed. 2 minutes of pure cuboid sex, bendy-straw arms, as well as… other appendages, contorted into positions no man on god’s earth should be capable of. A soldering iron is involved.

All is filmed for the helpless souls of tiktok to behold, and it has been witnessed by millions. It would have been uncomfortably captivating if Undyne hadn’t seen Mettaton ugly cry at the end of WALL-E.

The whole display is set to a jaunty, peppy little electropop rhythm, and the censor bars all read “STREAM NAPSTABLOOK’S NEW SINGLE”

come ‘dyne with me: dude are you sending it to everyone to boost the views??????? cos alph nearly SHATTERED her phone when she saw it

bone broth(er): INDEED I AM!!!!!! BECAUSE METTATON DESERVES TO BE AS HUMAN FAMOUS AS HE IS MONSTER FAMOUS AND I WILL HELP MAKE HIM FAMOUS

come ‘dyne with me: LOVING THE PASSION PAPS 

come ‘dyne with me: but uh

come ‘dyne with me: never send me anything ever again.

A few minutes pass.

come ‘dyne with me: out of interest how come he didnt get banned??

come ‘dyne with me: not that im planning to post horny crap. cos im not. absolutely NOT. 

come ‘dyne with me: but would you believe me if i said i was curious?

bone broth(er): SANS SAYS THAT AS LONG AS YOU MAKE THE PLATFORM MONEY, THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU POST

-

The first video to grace Undyne’s Tiktok account is short and sweet, and it instantly goes viral. And then the next is also a smashing success. And the next. And the one after that. 

It’s not a surprise, really, how popular the account becomes in such a short period. Undyne is incredibly proud of her strength, for good reason, and clearly all that fishy muscle is greatly appreciated by the internet.

There is indeed a lot of fishy muscle on display. A lot. Lots of scales, too. The iridescent patterns of deep purples and royal blue painted across bulging muscle are truly mesmerising from an aesthetic standpoint, and combined with the, ahem, undertones of the videos, the account makes for a perfect honeypot to attract all the lesbians of the internet like moths to a flame (or, more accurately, shrimp to an anglerfish).

One would expect Alphys to be jealous of what people are seeing of her girlfriend, but she’s having a blast. All the videos are vetted by her beforehand, she curates and edits where needed, and is safe in the knowledge that this little… hobby will never take priority over their relationship. They’ve had many conversations about this. Safe in this knowledge, Alphys is free to enjoy her girlfriend’s videos and gloat in the comment section. 

She is so unbearably smug. All the time.

And who can blame her.

Alphys more or less has complete creative freedom when it comes to slapping stickers and text onto the videos, but Undyne always has a single request. And that request is always honoured.

The caption for every single video is the same.

“I’M HOTTER THAN METTATON. #bassoverbolts @Mettaton”

-

Once Mettaton discovers how the @ feature works, things escalate.

They fling video after video at one another, taunting and jeering and being childishly petty as they poison the Tiktok algorithm with borderline porn day after day after day. 

Undyne starts posting her entire workout routine. She posts videos of her crushing watermelons between her thighs. She takes videos fresh out of the shower. She does a Q&A series where she responds to every question with a smirk and a wink, and all the questions curated for the series are some variation on ‘ will you step on me?’

Mettaton decides that he cannot violate any of the app’s nudity rules because he is not made of flesh. He also decides to bust out the EX form, and the internet loses its collective mind. He decides that he cannot possibly show too much skin because he has none. It does become readily apparent, however, that Alphys was very thorough in her design of Mettaton’s anatomy.

It reaches actual news sites. Toriel is livid, but begrudgingly accepts that she technically got what she asked for: publicity. The yelling match, however, was a sight to behold. Sans recorded it and put it on Twitter.

The entire debacle gets Mettaton banned from Tiktok, and half of Undyne’s videos are taken down. ‘ tori vs fishsticks and mettaton’ goes viral.

Alphys is so very very smug.

-

Toriel finishes off her phone call with a resounding jab to the screen, and all the regal rigidity drains from her frame, leaving her exhausted and frustrated. 

She sighs, and stands to grab her purse from the back of her chair, then thinks better of it and instead starts to tidy the sea of papers which swamp the dining table, muttering angrily to herself as she goes. 

Leaflets and folders and documents are gathered, then deposited swiftly in magazine files on the bookshelf, and the hasty organisation seems to soothe her until she can’t find a particular paper, at which point the simmering anger reaches a boiling point and a pile of medical records starts smoking. 

Frisk is pretty sure Toriel removed the smoke alarm after the last incident. But maybe that wasn’t the smartest choice.

“it’s digital, tori.” 

Toriel yelps and spins to pin an accusing glare at the intruder, “Sans! I have told you countless times to use. The. Bloody. Door. You cannot just teleport wherever you like!” She huffs angrily. “The nature reserve that had previously agreed to housing the Gyftrot is trying to pull away, I am cutting it fine on making it to that interview, and thank you for informing me about the file but regardless! I don’t have time to lecture you on social etiquette! Just because I don’t mind does not mean nobody else will.”

Sans stares at her for a moment, unblinking, from his perch on the armrest of the sofa. Then his face softens, “the files’ll be fine for an afternoon, and i’ll take care of the kid. now do you wanna take a shortcut?”

She seems to remember herself, taking a deep breath and blowing out a few embers with the exhale. “I would rather drive, if you don’t mind. It might clear my head a little first.”

“k.”

Toriel runs a glowing paw through her bedraggled fur, straightening it with some heat into a semblance of order, then smoothes out the creases in her dress in much the same manner. She checks the time on her phone and, seemingly satisfied, breathes a sigh of relief. 

Shuffling over to the sofa, she kneels to face her child. “I know this move has been so very difficult for you, my child, but I would like you to know that I am so, so proud of you. I am aware that I haven’t been the most… present of mothers, since the migration to the surface, but I hope that you understand my duty to my people.”

Frisk smiles softly, and signs, ‘ I know. You are amazing. You are also late.’

Toriel chuckles, places a gentle kiss onto Frisk’s hairline and hugs them tightly. “Behave properly for Sans, alright?”

Frisk returns the hug with equal vigour and nods profusely into her embrace. “Love you,” they murmur, just barely a whisper.

“I love you too.”

The warmth and the weight and the floral perfume is gone from Frisk’s arms, and the door shuts with a resounding bang. Toriel is gone. Mom is gone.

The pair sit in silence for a few minutes. 

Toriel’s forgotten purse glows blue for a moment, and disappears with a little pop.

-

There is a post to Mettaton’s newly created Instagram. It's a screenshot of an analytics page for a music streaming service. It shows a staggering growth of an artist’s popularity, which is monumentally impressive considering the short time frame that the graph covers.

A block of text at the top reads “Thank you all so, so much for streaming Blooky’s music. The songs of the dead are very close to my heart, and seeing my dearest darling friend’s music touch the hearts of so many people has brought such joy to my circuitry (in a way that no soldering iron never could 😩😩😩😩😩)”

There’s a pixel art gif of a gyrating Mettaton in the corner.