Chapter Text
“That’s what you say now, but I promise you if you just tried it more, you might like it better than you think,” Sersi told Ikaris as they sat atop a quilt in a green London park.
Ikaris grimaced and finished off the last of his fudge cone. “Don’t think so. Sorry, but nothing’s going to change my mind about this.”
“Oh, come on, people have been eating it since the dawn of time,” she said, shaking him by the arm. “You just haven’t given it a chance. Be adventurous.”
“Oi, I am adventurous, thank you very much. I just know what I like, that’s all, and I don’t like spinach. Other people are free to eat it as much as they like, but I won’t and that’s all there is to it.”
“There are so many ways to eat it, though! It’s not just the one way.”
“Agree to disagree, all right?”
“You can’t disagree about it being prepared different ways. It’s just a fact,” Sersi said, laughing.
“Well, I am, so what’re you going to do about it?” Ikaris said, unable to hold back his own smile. He’d never tell her, but he loved the sound of her laugh. There were a lot of things he loved about her, all of which were also things he’d never tell her.
They’d found themselves the only two left at the casual picnic setup after the others had gone their separate ways. The group of friends had met up for the late afternoon to take advantage of the uncharacteristically warm and sunny day. It’d never occurred to Ikaris that he might be left alone with Sersi. He’d been counting on at least one other person to stay, but then Kingo was gone too, claiming he had to meet with his agent, and that was that.
He couldn’t say he regretted being alone with Sersi, though. In fact, in his heart of hearts, it was all he wanted. But it made it infinitely harder to pretend he could put his feelings for her aside when it was just the two of them. He treasured their friendship more than she could know and he couldn’t put it at risk by doing something foolish like confessing how much space she took up in his thoughts and how all he wanted to do was hold her and how he’d love her with everything he had if only she’d let him.
But she didn’t have to let him, did she? Because it was far too late for that. Ikaris was undoubtedly, hopelessly in love, and it was all he could do to act as though he wasn’t.
He tried not to dwell on the thought as it would only bring him more sadness, and was glad for the distraction when Sersi covered a lengthy, gaping yawn with her hand. It was the substantial kind of yawn that spoke of true tiredness.
“Didn’t get enough sleep last night?” Ikaris said, picking at the leftover strawberries if only to have something to occupy his hands.
Still yawning, Sersi shook her head. “Unh-unh. Stayed at the museum late last night. Then woke up early this morning for a meeting. It’s been nonstop all day.” She shifted from her relaxed sitting position to lie on her side, head resting on her upright hand. Her head ended up near Ikaris’s lap, her dark hair a mere whisper from brushing the denim of his jeans.
“And if I fall asleep now, I’ll have a hard time falling back asleep tonight,” she said.
“Actually, did you know the second sleep cycle is a natural human function?” Ikaris said. “People would sleep for a few hours after the sun went down, wake up and occupy themselves with whatever, then go back to sleep until dawn.”
“Actually, I did know that,” she said, eyes visibly growing heavy. “I do wish life these days made it easier to fall back into that pattern, though.”
Ikaris couldn’t help his soft smile. Luckily she was too tired to see it. Even fighting back sleep, she was a vision. Maybe even more so, as it somehow felt vastly more intimate to see her this way, a side of her not just anyone was privy to.
“You falling asleep on me, Ms. Sersi?” Ikaris teased.
“No,” she said with a confidence that was entirely unconvincing.
“Right. I can clearly see that.”
“But what if I did?” Her eyes were closed now, though her head remained resting on her hand. “Would you leave straight away or be an arse and rattle me awake, telling me I should get a move on?”
He shrugged. “Well, I guess I can’t leave you now since you brought it up and all. Was just going to pack up and slink away and leave you to your drooling.”
“Shut up.”
He held in a silent laugh.
She gave another cavernous yawn, her speech slurred. “’m really tired.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
At the rate she was going, she’d be asleep in under a minute flat if she kept her eyes closed like that. If that was the case, Ikaris figured he’d get some work done since he’d brought his backpack with his laptop in it. It wasn’t even a question that he would stay.
It was, however, a shock to his system when Sersi emitted a lazy groan and shifted once again to plop her head right on his lap and settle into sleep that way, her eyes still closed but her expression giving no indication that she was doing anything out of the ordinary. Meanwhile above her, Ikaris could hardly process what was happening.
Sersi was on his lap. Sersi. Was on his lap. All right, it was just her head, but that was enough to send his head spinning and his heart jackrabbiting. She trusted him enough to fall asleep on his lap. It spoke of a certain level of intimacy he’d never allowed himself to hope for. The knowledge that she felt safe enough to do this with him filled him with a heady mix of emotions.
He imagined brushing her hair back from her face, but he would never take that risk unless she was in the deepest level of sleep with very little chance his touch would wake her. He felt he couldn’t move a muscle. Like the tiniest of movements would rouse her from sleep and the bubble they’d somehow created for themselves would pop out of existence. If he could, he’d sit there all day just so she could find refuge in him like that.
Perhaps he’d try getting some work done in a little bit, and if that didn’t work out, maybe he’d try cracking open the novel he’d also tucked in his bag. But he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything while she lay on him like that. For now, he’d sit there and breathe in the fresh air and bask in the feel of Sersi’s comforting and dizzying warmth pressed right up against his own.
For now, he’d imagine that she was his, and that she lay on his lap not as a friend but as something much more.