Chapter Text
"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Buck. You can't just lock yourself away from everyone forever."
"Fuck's sake, Stevie, would you get off my fuckin' back already?" Bucky snapped. Of all the days his well-meaning, irritatingly optimistic best friend had to decide to climb up on that know-it-all soapbox of his. Bucky rarely slept well, even on a good day he tossed and turned, his serum-boosted metabolism and decades worth of guilt over his misdeeds combined to ensure that he never rested for more than a handful of hours here and there. The last few days had been even worse, even by his shitty standards. They'd returned from a mission; nothing spectacular, just a simple search and rescue after an earthquake in Albania. Public relations bullshit to make the team look better in the eyes of the fickle media, really, but it'd been easy enough and satisfying in its own way to contribute something small to some people who needed help.
The trouble had started when they'd returned and had caught a whiff of something he couldn't quite place, a vague scent in the air that reminded him of the lemon blossoms in an orchard they'd passed through in Italy once. Something light and airy, not that canned, overly strong chemical smell that they used in cleaning products or candles. This was delicate, a subtle hint of something floral that tickled his nose and set his teeth on edge. As the day went on the scent shifted, growing stronger, reminiscent of the fragrance that would cling to his fingers after he peeled an orange but still undercut with that whiff of blooming lemon trees. It was distracting and he couldn't quite place the source, the frustration rising as he tossed and turned, finally giving up on the bed that he only slept in to appease Steve and settled himself on the bare floor, an action which put him much closer to the vent and that's when it hit him: it was an Omega. An Omega who was very close by and teetering on the edge of her heat.
The Tower was home to a rotating population of people (and synthezoids and occasionally other beings like that talking space tree). Most of the inhabitants, at least on the more secure levels where he and Steve lived, were Alphas, though a few Betas and Omegas were among their ranks. For the most part it was a non-issue, Stark's medical team had everyone on a strict protocol of suppressants and there were scent blockers installed in all the ventilation systems. It was healthier to maintain a pulsing schedule of suppressants and the team was meticulous about scheduling time off for ruts, particularly among the enhanced Alphas in the group. Many of them were pair bonded so it was a no big deal; wean off the meds with your mate and take a week off to fuck each other into oblivion until the hormones ran their course. Slightly riskier (and less viable considering the high profile status of the Avengers in residence) was the option of chancing upon a casual hookup or looking for someone on the internet through a dating site. Neither of those options appealed to Bucky. Sure, in his youth he'd been fairly promiscuous but between his anxiety about his deformity and his constant fear of hurting someone who was much weaker than him there were a lot of reasons he avoided seeking out the company of a stranger. The dating sites were worse, overflowing with Omegas of all types who were much more forward than he was accustomed to and the whole thing made him uneasy. Half of them were practically offering themselves up for anything with a knot and a pulse and while all of it was fair game between consenting adults and none of his business, he wanted more of a connection. Something real, though he doubted he'd ever get it and didn't deserve it if he found it. The other option (aside from taking care of things on his own) was professionals. These things were much more clinical these days, apparently, and being in a city as large as New York meant that heat partners were readily available for hire if an Alpha couldn't find a willing partner on their own.
The idea of paying an Omega to service him during a rut made Bucky deeply uncomfortable. It was a job that they chose and they were very amenable, even enjoying it, he was told, but the thought of it always dredged up half-buried memories from his years as the Soldier and the "rewards" Hydra would leave in his cell: drugged out Omegas who were little more than warm bodies offered up to satisfy his urges, to keep him docile when the drive to mate threatened to break his programming. They would lock that mask around his mouth and confine him to an adjoining cell until he was nearly feral from the pheromones before turning him loose on whatever poor girl awaited him. He recalled blessedly little of the act itself but he remembered their faces and while he knew now that he had never been in control of himself and despite Steve's repeated assertion he was just as much a victim of Hydra as those captive Omegas, the guilt and shame over what he had done to those girls were a crushing weight to bear. The only positive note was that to their knowledge, none of those "sessions" had resulted in a pup. Thank Christ for that, at least. The last thing his keepers wanted was to give him something he would fight to defend and a bonded mate or a child of his own would likely have been enough to make him break through their conditioning once and for all, though he was sure the idea of breeding their own little army of supersoldiers had crossed their minds.
Even now, years later, it filled him with a nauseating dread.
The front door to the apartment clicked shut, shaking him from his maudlin thoughts, and he heard Steve shuffling around. Usually he could tune out the background noises despite his enhanced hearing but his nerves were strained to the breaking point today and he knew that trying to sleep now was futile. He sighed in frustration, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands and sat up again, going through one of the quick mental exercises he'd learned to try and keep his anxiety at bay before giving up entirely and wandering out to the kitchen to get something to eat. Steve was in front of the mirror, comb in hand, eyeing him closely through the reflection. Good, he was going out and leaving Bucky alone. He grunted a greeting and began rifling through the fridge, hoping that Steve would just finish getting dressed and leave him be, but he should have known better. Bucky clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth as Steve rounded on him with that ever so fucking reasonable Captain America voice and started in on him. It was the same dance over and over: Put yourself out there, go meet someone, find someone who makes you happy or at least can take the edge off.
Easy for him to say. After very little coaxing from Stark and Thor, Steve Rogers and his squeaky clean reputation had gleefully thrown himself into the twenty-first century, indulging his every whim with dozens of willing Omegas in a truly impressive display of hedonistic pleasure seeking before Natalia had gotten tired of waiting around and staked her claim on him. Stark's PR team had earned every penny of their generous salaries maintaining Steve's carefully curated "America's golden boy" image while he sowed his oats, it was wild that people still fell for it.
"Ain't that simple," Bucky muttered, turning back to the fridge.
"Could be that simple. C'mon, Buck. Why don't you come out with me and Nat. She knows a couple great clubs in midtown, it'll be like old times."
Bucky smirked. "You gonna be my wingman now?"
"Maybe I will. Maybe she will. She's very persuasive," Steve grinned, leaning against the breakfast bar.
"Yeah I know she is." He blew a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. "Go on, go bother Natalia. I'm not in the mood."
"Okay, so not a random pickup, then. Maybe somebody closer to home? I know a couple field agents who would be game," Steve said. Bucky ignored him. "You know who's cute, that little brunette from the lab."
"Darcy?" Bucky asked and immediately wanted to take it back when he saw the smirk on Steve's face. God damnit.
"Yeah," Steve said smugly. "Darcy, that was it. When are you gonna quit mopin' around here and ask her out? I've seen you looking at her. Nat said she's single."
"First off I ain't mopin' around. I'm busy, don't have time to be chasin' a girl around. Secondly, why's your girl sniffing around her? One Omega not enough for you?"
"Nat is plenty, thanks. And I didn't hear you deny looking at Darcy," Steve replied evenly, refusing to rise to the bait.
"Of course I looked, you've seen her. What's not to like?" Bucky growled. The girl was gorgeous, an absolute ten. Big plump lips, eyes so blue you could drown in them, a curvy little Coke bottle figure like a pinup and those tits... Christ. He'd always been a leg man but on the rare occasion that he'd been in the same room as Darcy Lewis (of course he'd looked up her file, telling himself he was just making sure she was properly vetted) he'd been helplessly drawn to the generous cleavage that she was not the least bit shy about displaying in her tight, low cut blouses. She was a knockout and it blew his mind that she was unclaimed. If he was anything close to whole he would have made a play for her months ago but there was no way in hell a sweet thing like her would want to hitch her star to a broken old relic like him. She was way too smart for that.
"If you want, Nat would be more than happy to talk to her, feel her out. You never know--"
"Absolutely not," Bucky snapped. "Would you drop it? I'm no good for her, Steve. The fuck could I even offer a girl like her? Or anyone for that matter? That shit ain't for me. Not anymore."
"Buck--" Steve began.
"Drop it, I said. For fuck's sake, when did you become such a fucking helicopter parent? You don't need to swoop in and save me, Cap. I'm fine," he spat, prodding his chest. "Quit stickin' your beak in where it don't belong and leave me the fuck alone." He shouldered past the blond and kicked his bedroom door shut behind him, rattling it in the frame, tilting his face towards the ceiling and pinching the bridge of his nose until he calmed down.
When he emerged a few minutes later, Steve was gone and Bucky's mood sank even lower. Too restless and irritated to even attempt to sleep again he started cleaning the apartment, not that it needed much picking up. Neither man was messy and since Steve had more or less moved into Natalia's apartment the place was looking pretty bare. He'd just finished making the bed and decided to take a long shower when he heard the knock at the door. He frowned, his nostrils flaring slightly as he unlocked it. That scent, orange blossoms and lemongrass and something else, something sweet and feminine, hit him just before the door cracked open and he jerked it wider in surprise, startling the petite brunette into taking a quick step backwards. He briefly wondered if he was hallucinating but even his imagination wasn't this good: Darcy, the very girl who had starred in an embarrassing number of filthy dreams lately was at his door in the middle of the night looking like sin itself in a barely there pair of shorts and a skin tight little tank top that was doing its level best to contain a seemingly perfect set of tits. He leaned against the doorframe, trying to appear casual in spite of his racing heart. She looked startled despite being the one who had knocked, her plump lips parted slightly and blue eyes wide as they bounced between his face, arms, and chest. Fuck, he had to say something, anything, before she spooked and left. He used to be good at this, for fuck's sake. Say something!
"It's you," he finally managed to grind out, and her smile could have lit up a whole room.
The turn that his night had taken could give a guy whiplash. In the span of one conversation he'd gone from wallowing in anger and misery to necking with this soft, sweet little Omega in the hallway, and less than an hour later he was in her bed, his cock delving deep inside her as she shook apart beneath him, whining and begging for his knot. She was incredible; not just her body, which was lush and ripe, sweet on his tongue and easy on his eyes but her demeanor, vacillating between bold and shy, knowing what she wanted but nervous about being too demanding with him. He knew that most of her submission was due to her heat, he'd seen enough of her around the tower to know that she was generally loud and boisterous, he'd heard her laughter ring through the common room and seen her bandying words with several Alphas, completely unafraid and unimpressed by their attempts to pull rank on her despite her designation. During a moment of clarity after their first coupling (and he sent up a silent prayer to whoever was listening that it be the first of many), she was lucid again, shaking off the haze of pheromones that had slurred her speech and had her mewling his name and pleading for more. She was bashful even as she flirted with him and the absurdity of making small talk with a girl who was currently impaled on his knot wasn't lost on either of them but the whole night had been so surreal that he couldn't be bothered questioning it lest it all turn out to be a dream.
She was very real, though. Warm and solid in his arms, her curvy body pressed snugly against his as they cuddled and waited for his knot to finish receding. He trailed his hands up and down her back until she shivered and tilted her head back to stare at him through her lashes, drawing her knee up a little higher around his hip. The movement caused his softening cock to slip free of her and she sighed, clenching her muscles around him as though she could keep him in place. He hissed at the sensation and she giggled, squeaking in surprise when he rolled her over, bracing himself on his left arm. "Keep teasin' me and I'm not lettin' you out of this bed, doll," he rumbled and she grinned up at him, licking her lips.
"Uh, counting on it, Sarge. I'm going into heat and just cancelled my new vibrator. That means you're my vibrator now."
"That so?" he asked and she nodded, mischief in her eyes as she stared up at him.
"Yeah, that's so. Wouldn't be very gentlemanly of you to leave a girl hanging and you did say you were a gentleman, right?" She nibbled at her lower lip and he chuckled lowly, leaning down and licking his way into her mouth. She opened for him, moaning softly into his kiss, her hands stroking his back and legs wrapped around his hips to pull him closer to the wet heat between her thighs. Her scent was stronger now, permeating the sheets and blankets strewn about her nest, waking up something primal, something long buried inside him. He lowered his mouth to the mating gland on her neck, grazing the sensitive flesh with his teeth as he began rocking his stiffening cock against her slippery core, the urge to puncture her delicate flesh with his teeth nearly overwhelming him. It would be so easy, just a little pressure and she'd be his... claimed by him, bonded to him, lush and ripe and ready to fill with his pups... Fuck. Bucky rose to his knees abruptly and she gave a breathy whine as she spread her legs even wider, offering herself up to him, her pale body fully exposed to his hungry eyes. He cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples back to stiff points before sliding back down her torso again, dragging two fingers through the pool of slick that was leaking out of her and bringing them to her lips, pulling back to watch her hazy eyes drift shut as she took them into her mouth to suck them clean.
"Good girl," he purred and she shivered at his praise, her slender fingers wrapping around his wrist as her eyes slowly blinked open and latched onto his. "You ready for more, Omega?"
Darcy nodded quickly, letting his fingers slip free from her mouth. She shifted around, trying to sit up and huffing in frustration when he dropped a hand to her waist to hold her down. "Alpha," she whined and he chuckled, leaning in to nibble and lick at her bonding gland again, letting her intoxicating scent wash over his tongue. He pinned her hips in place with his metal hand, his flesh fingers kneading her breast, plucking at one nipple while he sucked and teased the other with the tip of his tongue until she was writhing beneath him, needy and desperate for relief. "Please, please," she mewled, straining against his grip, arching into his touch. "Alpha, please. Need you. Need you inside." She slid a hand between them, her little hand wrapping around his cock and squeezing and he rose to his knees, letting her guide him towards her entrance, her slick walls gripping him like a vice as he pushed inside. She stretched her arms over her head, palms flat against the wall as she braced herself against his powerful thrusts, crying out her pleasure as he drove her toward her release.
She was beautiful like this, stretched out and mewling for him, her tits bouncing with every thrust, nipples taut and darkened from his teasing, the pale skin of her throat dotted with marks from his teeth. His gaze traveled down her body to land on their join and he spread her thighs wider to watch as his cock disappeared into her tight cunt over and over, her slick pooling beneath her, coating him and easing his passage. He lifted her hips slightly and she sobbed out his name, the change in angle letting his head drag over a spongy spot deep inside her that made her inner muscles clamp down on him. "Fuck, you feel so fucking good, Omega," he growled. "Like that? You like that?"
"Yes, Alpha... Please, don't stop, don't stop," she mewled, her arms trembling.
He gripped her hips tighter, pulling her higher onto his thighs and turning his metal hand so his thumb pressed on her clit with every thrust and she cried out, arching her back hard as she came, clenching his throbbing cock. He fucked her through it, her body going lax underneath him and letting him push even deeper as he chased his own release. He guided one leg over his shoulder and leaned over her, desperate to feel more of her skin against his as his thrusts became more erratic, his knot swelling at the base of his cock, that telltale tingle in his spine screaming that he was close, so close, so close he could taste it. She sank her hand into his hair and tilted her face back, exposing her neck in submission as she guided his face to her mating gland and he was gone as soon as he made contact, her taste exploding in his mouth as his knot popped and he released wave after wave of his spend within her, sucking gently at her bonding gland as he struggled to resist the urge to sink his teeth into her skin. His movements slowed and he loosened his grip on her, brushing his lips against that tender spot one more time before he tore himself away, leaving a trail of kisses along her jaw and claiming her mouth instead. She sighed contentedly into his kiss, her hands gliding up his arms and down his back, soothing him as they slowly came down from that dizzying high. He carefully rolled onto his side, taking her with him and arranging their limbs until she could rest comfortably against him and she fell into an exhausted sleep within minutes, tucked snugly against his chest with a faint smile on her kiss-swollen lips.
He watched her as her breathing slowed, her face relaxed, lips slightly parted as she slept. Now that the rush of hormones had subsided his nerves came creeping back in but he shoved it down, refusing to think about the possibility of her coming to her senses and rejecting him. He could do this, he could help her through her heat. She wouldn't want him after, of course. She was way too smart for that and it was fine. He could take this moment with her and enjoy it for what it was, right? When her heat passed she'd cut him loose and that would be that. She deserved better than the likes of him. His flesh hand hovered over her hair and he hesitated before giving in and touching her gently, letting the silken strands slip through his calloused fingers and she snuggled closer, nuzzling against his chest. He wasn't getting attached to her, it was just hormones. Biology.
Right?