Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything has gone to shit.

Gordon had a sneaking suspicion something was up when he'd laid eyes on the eerily empty cityscape outside the windows of the Chuck E. Cheese. The unsettling view had him wanting to sprint from the restaurant (only a maniac like The G-Man would call it an entertainment center) to go track down his son and make sure he's okay. After all, it's a bit hard to enjoy cheap pizza and the energetic chattering of the Science Team when that's all he can think about. But the cold stare of The G-Man keeps him rooted to his spot at the party table.

The withered looking businessman sits alongside them, a colorful party hat strapped to his head. "Now, Misssssster Freeman," comes the sound of The G-Man's dry, raspy voice at his side. "I tried making your… return as happy of an occasion as possible. Unfortunately the… reality is far more grim."

The party is just about drawing to a close, pizzas eaten, sodas drank, all their entertainment options burnt through. Now there's little to do but worry about what comes next, as The G-Man adjusts his tie and stands from the table.

"Thomas, my ssssson, you might… want to escort your friends to your… mountain cabin for… sssssafe keeping while I try and… clean up this mess."

There's no time to question a single word of this before a distortion sends The G-Man away, creating an empty space at the table with a paper plate full of uneaten pizza.

"What did he mean by—" Gordon starts, but he doesn't have the time to finish before his question is answered by a headcrab smashing into one of the windows and spraying glass everywhere.

"That is fucked up," Bubby says, very effectively summarizing Gordon's feelings on the matter.

One well aimed shot from Tommy swiftly brings the headcrab's reign of terror to an end. All at once, the bumpin' music stops, the lights turn off, and the party is officially over. Not that Gordon could claim to have ever been in the partying mood.

As the group piles out of the place, they're able to more effectively take in the havoc the Resonance Cascade has dealt on the outside world. Abandoned cars clog the roads, plumes of smoke rise from destroyed buildings, and somewhere in the distance is the sound of gunfire.

Luckily, Gordon is very familiar with post apocalyptic media, and this view fits the genre to a T. But even a familiarity with such things doesn't stop the cold dread that drenches his body like a bucket of water. One thing blares like a siren in his head: Joshua! He needs to make sure his son is safe.

"We need—I know a safe place," Tommy pipes up, stepping out to stand beside Sunkist, his pale hands burying into the pup's soft fur. "Or, it, should be safe. I'll have to… I'm going ahead to check." Patting his canine companion's head, he swings a leg over Sunkist's back, straddling him like one would a horse. The massive dog makes for a perfect mount, as it turns out. "I'll, I'll text you the location! Get there as s-soon as you can."

A protest is on the tip of Gordon's tongue, quite certain his phone is buried somewhere in the rubble of Black Mesa, not to mention he never gave Tommy his number. But before he can even open his mouth, Sunkist has taken off, quickly vanishing into the horizon.

Panic is starting to coil around his sternum, but before he can get too wrapped up in his own anxiety, a honking sound draws his attention to a generic blue car that looks awfully familiar.

"Get in!" Bubby's voice calls, from… somewhere.

"Uhhh…" Gordon shakes his head, dismissing the idea that the vehicle in his sights has no passengers in it. Car Bubby isn't real and it can't hurt me. "No offense, Bubby, but the last time I was in a car with you, it blew up."

"It's perfectly safe Gordon," Dr. Coomer proclaims, sounding as chipper as ever despite the fact he's in the middle of a world ending catastrophe. "But for two PlayCoins™ I can find you alternative transportation!"

The absurdity of the situation makes it difficult for Gordon to form words properly. There's this dissonance he should really be used to by now, the contrast of his companions' unique brand of insanity with the very bleak, very real disaster going on around them making his head spin. Somehow, he manages to get out. "I need to check on my son." The thought of going anywhere without confirming he's safe threatens to send him into a panic attack.

"You're on your own, then," Bubby snaps, the car's engine revving, despite the fact Gordon still can't see a driver sitting inside the vehicle. "Whatever, there's only room for two anyway."

There's a jaunty wave from Dr. Coomer as he enters the vehicle, which drives off out of sight at record high speeds, leaving tire burns in the pavement.

The fact Gordon is now alone hits him fully once they're gone. But there's no time to worry about that now, he's got to check on his son.

As luck would have it, Tommy's birthday bash was only a few blocks away from his ex-husband's apartment, and Gordon arrives having only had to smash a few headcrabs in his mad dash to get there. However thankful Gordon is that The G-Man restored his arm, he actually misses the gun arm. Not having to worry about ammo had been nice. In the meantime, he'll have to make do with the crowbar.

But as he arrives at his destination, it's to the sight of the apartment door hanging wide open. Ice shoots through his veins and it takes all his willpower not to let his mind wander, inventing all manner of macabre scenarios to explain the sight. This effort is rewarded as he steps inside to find a note resting prominently out on the dining table.

Gordon, I was told you'd probably come here looking for us, so I'm writing this to tell you that we're okay. Your co-worker's dad is here, and he's taking us to some kind of safehouse. He's a bit weird but I guess I have to trust him. I hope you're alright and we can see each other again soon. Joshua misses you and wants you to know he has a new cowboy game to show you. Love, Alex

They're okay! They're safe! Shaking with relief, Gordon sinks to the floor, curling up and crying until he feels somewhat human again.

- ♡ -

Seeing the outside world in such a state is a pretty big surprise. Benrey had imagined something a bit less… on fire? Certainly less covered in fresh blood and viscera. So it's more of a Last of Us situation out here than a GTAV, which is awfully disappointing, but at least there's more to see than a boring science facility.

They've got their eyes in a few places, aware of the party they weren't invited to—though they're sure Tommy would have invited them, if Benrey had, you know, been alive at the time—thanks to the skeleton that went in their place. Seemed fun. Nice music, greasy pizza.

But there's bigger problems right now than not getting invited to Tommy's birthday party, namely the fact that their death gave his dad a lot of leeway to start fucking them over for their next respawn. The headcrabs and zombies barely even glimpse Benrey's way, but they're still going to want a weapon to replace the ones Tommy's dad stole from them, since Gordon's gone off on his own and he's notoriously a huge burden on the group.

Lucky for Gordon, his best bro has got his back.

Turns out, a gun isn't hard to find in the Southern US—who knew?—and Benrey quickly loots several off some bodies in the city. There's a glock, an obvious staple of any arsenal, an assault rifle for crowd control, and a shotgun that Gordon might like to have later.

It doesn't occur to them to grab absolutely anything else, like food, water, medicine, or a change of clothes. They have their old security uniform to protect them, anyway, and they need to catch up to Gordon. No time to waste. They've gotta fulfill their destiny as Gordon's first party member yet again.

When they track him down—orange lambda symbol on their minimap, easy—he's in a parking lot breaking into some nondescript white caravan. Wow, starting his life of crime already? It's been like, an hour, maybe. Can't even take his own car, what's that about.

Good thing he has Benrey to help get him on the straight-and-narrow. Or at least on the narrow.

- ♡ -

Gordon's first priority is to track down a suitable car to use for his journey. That'll keep him off the street and away from all the aliens that want to snack on his skull or melt him with acid or who even knows what else.

Finding a vehicle that isn't locked or too damaged to drive is a challenge, however. The search takes far longer than he'd like, checking car doors until finally finding one unlocked, keys in the ignition, and in decent shape to drive long distance. The white van is only missing a "free candy" sign to really look like something a predator would drive. It'll have to do, though.

Getting into the driver's seat, Gordon hastily jams his finger into the button to lock all the doors. The windows won't hold against a serious onslaught but for now, he's safely tucked away, undetected by any nearby aliens. Or so he thinks. As he checks the rearview mirror, grimacing at his puffy eyes, unhealthily pale brown skin and dark circles, he adjusts the angle to point towards the back of the car, and his stomach promptly drops.

A pair of eerily familiar yellow eyes glow in the dim light of the backseat. For a moment, all Gordon can do is stare, unable to believe what he's seeing. And in return, his unwanted passenger just stares right back, sitting politely in the middle seat of the bench.

"Yo. We goin' on a road trip or what?"

The words are barely out of Benrey's mouth before Gordon has drawn his handgun, aiming it awkwardly as he has to twist around in his seat to face them. If not for the fact he doesn't want blood all over his brand new car, he'd have pulled the trigger without hesitation.

Not that it'll get rid of them, a bitter voice in the back of Gordon's head reminds him. It never does. They always come back to haunt him.

"Get. Out," he wheezes through clenched teeth, fear and anger battling inside him to make speaking nearly impossible. Anger wins out, though, releasing his tongue to bellow. "GET OUT!"

Shouting in such a confined space as this hurts his already ringing ears, not to mention the unwanted attention it'll attract, but at the moment he doesn't care. It's either yelling or shooting and Gordon likes to think he used the kinder option, even though all this alien bastard deserves is a bullet between the eyes.

It proves pointless, though, just like everything with Benrey. He may as well have not spoken at all with the way Benrey remains utterly unchanged, staring down at the gun as if it bores them.

"Huh?" Benrey says, while Gordon resists the urge to grind his teeth. "Oh yooo you got a gun," Benrey continues, with the slightest hint of enthusiasm to their otherwise lackluster voice. "That's cool. Hey does this thing play music? I wanna hear some Foo Fighters."

The sound of the gun clicking is Gordon's response. Silence fills the tight space as he tries to process what's just happened, and eventually, it occurs to him. Reloading! When was the last time he'd—with a curse, he twists back around, fumbling for the crowbar and managing to drop it onto the floor of the car, where it slides under the seat somehow.

"Kinda clumsy, huh," Benrey says.

Their mocking words force an absolutely livid yell through Gordon's clenched teeth, seconds from climbing back there to choke the life out of them. But something inside him snaps, and it's like the weight of the past week is crashing down on him all at once, body sagging as he leans his forehead on the steering wheel. Here he is, utterly defenseless with an unkillable entity in his backseat. It's almost enough to make him start sobbing again.

Heaving an enervated sigh, Gordon asks. "What are you doing here, Benrey?"

Rather than answer his question, Benrey stands, grabbing onto the backs of both seats as they climb into the passenger's seat. Immediately they take to looking through the glove compartment, as Gordon buries his face in the steering wheel, refusing to give them the attention they so clearly crave. Inside, Benrey finds the car's registration, glancing over the papers without actually reading any of it.

"Hey this car's not yours?" they point out, waving the sheets around. "You stealing this?"

The sigh Gordon lets out is so heavy, it could move mountains. Is this his life now? Haunted by an immortal specter with a fetish for passports and feet? It would almost be funny if it wasn't also happening during an alien invasion.

"Uh, can I see your license, sir?" Benrey presses.

Their question yanks Gordon right out of his despondence, sending him barreling headfirst into white-hot rage. His newly reattached right arm shoots out to grab Benrey around the neck, a soft gasp tearing out of them as the dilation of their snakelike eyes grows and their face turns blue. The papers slip out of their hands, tumbling to the ground beneath their feet.

"If you ask me about my identifications ever again I will snap your fucking neck," Gordon snarls. He's under no delusion that his grip around the alien's throat has any effect, but what choice does he have? At least it makes him feel a little better, like he might have some actual control over this situation, however imaginary. "Now answer the fucking question. Why. Are. You. Here?"

"Ahhh… uh, what?" Benrey's softly glowing eyes drop to Gordon's lips, before flicking over his shoulder. "Behind you."

"I'm not falling for your bull—"

A crash that rocks the whole van cuts him off, nearly making him jump out of his skin and into Benrey's lap. Whipping around, he finds a headcrab zombie clawing against the window, its hands leaving bloody smears on the glass.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!"

Thankfully his experience in Black Mesa has conditioned his brain to kick in fast under duress. In a split second he's gone over his options. His gun is empty and the crowbar is somewhere in the pocket dimension that is beneath every car seat. One exit is blocked by the zombie and the other by Benrey, not to mention, he is not about to abandon the one drivable vehicle he's found. Which leaves him with his only viable option—flooring it.

Putting the pedal to the metal, the van screeches off out of the parking lot, leaving the zombie in the dust.

"WOOHOO! Road trippppppppp!" Benrey cheers, throwing their arms up in a cheer, their legs spread obnoxiously wide in their seat.

"This is NOT a roadtrip!" Gordon snaps, his hands grasping the steering wheel in a white knuckled grip, emerald eyes glued to the road as he addresses his stowaway passenger. "The moment I find somewhere safe to park I'm kicking you out."

It's clear his threat goes in one ear and out the other, as Benrey places their arm around the back of Gordon's seat, ignoring him completely. Seeing their arm in his periphery has him flinching, unable to contain the reflex. He doesn't want to seem like he's afraid of them, cuz he's not! It's just hard getting the image of their giant distorted form out of his head. Can't blame a guy for still being a little freaked out about that.

As he takes a deep breath to cool his nerves, Benrey begins to stare at him, easily able to take a peek without turning their head away from the passenger side window by opening a few extra eyes on the side of their neck. The sight is somehow less freaky than that of their arm moving towards him, too used to the concept of Benrey's body doing little fucked up things to phase him anymore. Though all the staring is putting him on edge, to say the fucking least.

"Where are we going?" they ask.

"There's no 'we', man!" Gordon snaps. "I am going to find Tommy. His dad said there's some safe place and Tommy left before he could tell me where it was."

He doesn't know why he's telling Benrey all this. Maybe he just needs to rant, it beats freaking out in his own head. And he is freaking out. How the fuck is he suppose to find Tommy and the rest of the Science Team? When he split from them earlier, he was too focused on his son to think about anything else. Blame it on the ADHD.

"Uh," Benrey says. "Well you're going the wrong way."

Their words have Gordon whipping his head around, hastily refocusing on the road as the van starts to swerve into the breakdown lane. This is a much bigger and heavier car than the one he usually drives, forcing him to actually have to concentrate while behind the wheel.

"How can it be the wrong fucking way when you don't even know where I'm going?!"

Benrey smacks their lips. "Uh, yeah, I do. You want Tommy, right? Cuz he's going… uh, not here. Got a waypoint, beelining right for it. Coomer is too."

How the fuck could they possibly know that? As he considers this, he recalls some of the interactions between the alien and the kindest, most innocent member of their group. All the little kisses Benrey would lavish the man's face with, the mercy Tommy constantly encouraged, and at times begged, everyone to exercise for them. They must have talked about the cabin at some point. Or Benrey is completely bullshitting him, but even if that's the case, it's still better than nothing.

But does Gordon really want to be stuck with them for however long it takes to get them there? Obviously not. So now it's up to him to pry the info out of them.

"Uh but you know," Benrey continues, snapping Gordon out of his thoughts. They stare out the window with their primary set of eyes, transfixed by the sight of all the ruined buildings passing them by. "If you, uh, if you just wanna keep getting lost that's fine with me. Guess I'll just hop out and go get some, uh, McDonalds."

With a sigh and some grit teeth, Gordon gathers his wits about him and says. "Okay, fine. Where are they going, then?"

Benrey makes a show out of contemplating their answer, loudly humming and tilting their head from side to side in a comical show of deep thought. "Turn left," they eventually say, without even looking up. "Then just go straight for uh, two turns. It's not in Kansas anymore."

Dammit. If Benrey had given the location directly, Gordon could have ditched them at the first opportunity. Now he's in the worst position, relying on Benrey for directions. Although he's not sure it's actually worse than not knowing where to go at all. At least Benrey can't make him more lost. He can lead you into another ambush though, a voice in the back of his head whispers. The fingers on the steering wheel twitch again as he takes a left. 

"It'll be easier if you just tell me where we're going," he tries.

But Benrey doesn't respond, instead watching the world pass by outside the window. Gordon glances out his as well, to the many shops and restaurants. All of them are now rundown, windows shattered, doors snapped in half, viscera dirtying every surface. Some of the anger inside him melts into sadness. It might not have been the place he grew up, but he's lived here since he graduated from MIT, met Joshua's other father, and raised his son. He might not have gotten to know the city as much as he'd like, the job at Black Mesa taking up too much of his time, but it was still home.

Was home. Now it's a zombie infested hell scape and the chances of it ever going back to normal seem slimmer than ever.

"This town looks kinda shit," Benrey comments, the harshness of their words snapping Gordon out of his reverie, and back into full blown annoyance. "Thought there were supposed to be people in it."

"Yeah, that tends to happen when a bunch of zombie-creating aliens from another planet invade. Where to next?"

Ideally he'd like to keep the talking to a minimum, Benrey's inane comments already grating on his patience. They always manage to do this, tangling him up in another stupid argument or fight, pulling him over to them like an especially aggravating fish lure. Gordon really wishes he knew how to ignore them. Doesn't help that Benrey leaning their helmet against the window creates the worst rattling sound known to mankind. Though they seem bothered by it as well with how quickly they pull back.

"Huh? Uh, 'nother left I guess," Benrey drones, as Gordon turns left again, more unsure than ever as to whether Benrey actually has any idea where they're going. "For five Pl—" Benrey's words halt abruptly. "—BenreyCoins™ I'll tell where you need to be by tonight if you're ever gonna make it in time." Running their tongue across their teeth, they face Gordon, staring up at him with a sharp-toothed grin. "Unless you like being told what to do at every turn. How 'bout it, friend?"

Their offer sends a spike of fear up Gordon's spine, their words too ominous to ignore. "In time for what? What's about to happen?!" Panic makes him raise his voice, the sound of it overly loud in the confined space. One world ending catastrophe is bad enough, he can't have a time limit on it as well. Not when Benrey is his only chance to get where he needs to go. "I swear to god Benrey, if there's something you know and you aren't telling me, I will drive to the nearest cliff and throw you off of it!"

"Uh maybe for two BenreyCoins™ I'll tell you," Benrey drones, as they find the lever on the side of their chair to recline it back. They get comfortable with their boots kicked up on the dashboard, arms folded behind their head. "But like, you're starting off at a solid -5 for going no mercy on my epic boss battle, so, maybe you should work on that a little. Turn right up here btw."

Breathing deeply, Gordon tries to rationalize his fear away as he takes a right, narrowly avoiding a shuffling zombie. It's gotta be some kind of sick new way for Benrey to torment him. There's no way they know about some other earth shattering event, much less the time limit on it. Although, there is always the slimmest of chances that everything they're saying is correct, that there really is some major threat out there that Gordon doesn't know about, that they really do know the way to the safehouse.

"What the fuck is a Benrey coin?"

A smug grin crosses Benrey's lips—though it takes them an enormous amount of time to respond, in the meantime giving more instructions. "Well, I'm glad you asked, friend," Benrey declares in a condescending tone of voice, as if there wasn't a massive wait to their explanation, making it obvious they've made it all up just now. "BennyCoin™ can be turn in for favors from me, and if you're goodie little boy to your bestest friend Benrey you get more of them. But if you're huge dick to me—" They put some bitterness into their voice as they say this, but sound perfectly pleasant, or rather, hugely condescending, for the rest. "—I'm deducting them. And btw these directions are freebies for today. So you better rack up them points sewer boy."

Gordon grits his teeth while listening to Benrey's explanation. Their system is perfectly designed to be totally in their favor, putting them in a direct position of power over him. He can already picture it: show me them feet or lose a BennyCoin™. He gives an involuntary shudder at the thought.

Benrey made one mistake, though: attaching rules to their otherwise chaotic and unpredictable behavior. Before, they were an agent of chaos, and now they need to abide by rules. And if there is a system, Gordon can game it. All he needs to do is play nice long enough for Benrey to let the end destination slip. Then he only needs a way for them to leave the car and he can be off by himself. It's not a perfect plan, but at least he's got a plan at all. 

With that in mind, Gordon flashes Benrey a cheery smile, though it appears more like a grimace. "Sure thing. I can be good… friend." The word tastes bitter in his mouth, and it's only with great willpower that he manages not to cringe while saying it.

"Better get started now, then," Benrey says alongside their usual directions. "Getting pretty bored, might start acting out, lead you to the nearest GameStop or something. Why don't you try being nice, got uh, -5 points. Kinda sad."

Fuck, that is way too broad a request. What would that even entail? Physical affection is out of the question—he's driving, first of all, and second, he doesn't know if he could possibly stomach drawing the fucked up, freaky alien that tried to kill him into a hug. What else would they want from him? His passport? Pictures of his feet? All bad options.

Maybe going to GameStop isn't a bad idea. There's one only a few blocks away from what Gordon remembers of the last time he was there, not too bad of a detour. Ignoring Benrey's instruction to turn left, he turns right instead.

"Bro come on that's not left, you, left-right colorblind or something?"

"Just gimme a minute," he tells them, ignoring the frustrated looks they keep sending him. A few minutes later he's pulling up outside the local GameStop, which has a small bodega right next door. Perfect place to drop in for snacks after purchasing a new game, and he is desperately in need of provisions for his trip. This way he can kill two birds with one stone.

The car has barely rolled to a stop before Benrey has pressed themself against the window like a child at an aquarium, eyes wide and comically dilated at the sight of the store before them. "Tadaa," Gordon proclaims. "Express transport directly to gamer heaven. That should be worth at least 10 coins."

- ♡ -

Driving with Gordon is a whole ordeal. He's in such a tizzy right now and they're not sure what he's so mad about. It's not like they're tracking mud or headcrab blood all over the car or anything. He should be happy to see they're back! Now they can go on all kinds of adventures, Benrey and Gordon, bestest friends, on a road trip. They're even willing to forgive him for the whole shooting them to death thing, it was just a game after all!

A road trip is exactly what they need to get Gordon to warm up to them again after their little spat. Or that's what they'd like to happen, at least, but he's in such a funk, so pissy about every single thing. Though that's kinda what Benrey likes about him—manic, angry, a total fucking mess. So much energy. And he's cute when he's mad, which is basically all the time. Though his laugh is fucking incredible as well. Honestly, there's not a lot they don't like about him.

And he keeps flipping out, over absolutely nothing—seriously, there's no time limit, they're just setting the mood—which makes Benrey want to bully him, piss him off until it overflows and he yells at them or puts his hands on them or something. But in a moving car, that's not ideal. If either of them have to respawn it's going to be, like, a whole thing, and Gordon's got his perfect, no death streak going. Even Benrey isn't willing to fuck with that now, it's too damn impressive.

And anyway, they have their little BenreyCoin™ idea going, which is sure to get them back to being friends again in no time. He'll compliment them, they'll have fun little chats, hanging out, playing games, sharing a bed and helping each other out. It's an excellent speedrun to get past their little spat. It's beautiful, honestly, deserving of a Nobel Prize or whatever. Genius. Good job, Benrey.

And yet. "be nice" is something that's taking Gordon SO much effort to do. Little offensive, but, okay, maybe he's just thinking of a real 10-point compliment and not… having trouble thinking up a single nice thing to say to them at all whatsoever. There are nice things about them! But… maybe Gordon doesn't know them anymore? He just thinks they're all bad… no, he must know, deep down, what Benrey's outstanding qualities are. He's just too mad at them to think about it right now. They can understand that, being blinded by your emotions.

Though they can't understand what he's up to now, ignoring the directions he NEEDS to get to where he wants to go. Has he stopped believing them already? Does he find BenCoin™ to be THAT impossible to redeem? It's not like it's hard, they were even willing to let him cash in his first compliment at an increased rate—

WAIT, HOLD ON. Benrey sees it on their minimap before they ever see it in person, the marker they'd left forever ago for when they'd get the chance to go see it in person. It makes sense now. Gordon wasn't even thinking of compliments! They did say GameStop, didn't they? And he must have known there was one nearby. It makes them a little emotional to be honest, that he's willing to make this stop just after one throwaway line. He must know this is worth giving Gordon just about anything right now—but, uh, they gotta play it cool. Can't throw away everything on the first nice thing Gordon does for them.

What's Gordon saying? Uh, it doesn't matter. Benrey doesn't respond, instead clipping through the passenger side door and racing up to the GameStop. The automatic doors don't work anymore, but they don't even notice, phasing right through them and inside the shop.

It's a little overwhelming, in particular with the knowledge that everything is up for grabs, no capitalism, no security footage. Seems everyone was way too concerned with aliens and zombie aliens to grab anything, too, because it looks fully stocked, with a few shelves knocked down and the glass countertops shattered, but, that's barely any damage in comparison to everything left untouched.

If they're going to be on the road… Well, they can't be snatching up the TVs they use to test the systems or any of the systems themselves, but, there's always the Nintendo Switch and plenty of skins and games for that, plus the used PSPs and all the games and merch and…

There's so much to see and take with them, like the Switch they've picked out for themselves and the one for Gordon, with two copies of Animal Crossing that they can play together. It'll be like when they used to play New Leaf with Tommy, catching fish and bugs and going to the KK Slider concert and playing the island games and hide and seek. Except this one has different stuff that Benrey doesn't even know about, and they're excited to see it, with Gordon. Though maybe Tommy would like this yellow one…

They've gotten quite a few things, aside from that—other Switch games, deciding to make that the primary system for their little road trip. A black beanie with white PlayStation button symbols all over it, featuring a black and white pom-pom on top. Plenty of t-shirts and some hoodies, mostly in their size, but they grabbed a few bigger ones they think will fit Gordon, too. Plus car chargers, cases, and cleaning supplies for the Switches. Gordon's gonna love it, they're gonna have so much fun together!

- ♡ -

Watching Benrey run off without even so much as a "thank you" is a bit demoralizing, putting a frown on Gordon's face. But to expect that much from them might have been foolish. Better temper his expectations with them.

He glances around before stepping out of the car, checking for any possible hostiles but the street appears empty. After a bit of rummaging he manages to relocate his crowbar, taking a minute to reload his gun as well. Leaving himself defenseless had been stupid, and he won't let it happen again.

The door to the GameStop doesn't open as he steps up to it, but he doesn't need to go in there anyway. This was for Benrey after all. Gordon's goal lies next door, in the little bodega. Luckily it doesn't have automatic doors, and it isn't locked either, so all he has to do is step right in.

He flinches at the mess inside. Apparently he isn't the only one to have thought about looting for supplies here. Glass litters the floor, shelves tipped over here and there with the shelves and fridges bordering on barren. Although it's not like the place is completely empty—it's just not a lot to choose from, and a lot of what's left isn't very desirable. Grabbing a couple of plastic bags from behind the counter, he gets to work. 

Cans go down into the bags regardless of content. He'll need food that lasts long, after all. The non-perishables left are mostly of the snacking variant, something Gordon really had his fill of when living off vending machine junk during their trek through Black Mesa. But he can't afford to be picky, so into the bag they go. This nets him some nuts, chips, and chocolate bars.

All the water is gone but there are still some soda cans left. Gordon almost doesn't take them, nearly having a PTSD flashback to the Science Team's hoglike slurping at the sight of a can. But, again, he's going to need fluids, and he can't afford to be picky. Plus, it can be another "nice" gesture for Benrey, something to net him some easy points. The way they had devoured the soda from the vending machine, cans and all, had given him a hint that it might be something they like.

Finally, he grabs some first aid supplies, if you can even call it that. In reality, it's only a box of bandaids and some antiseptic cream. It's better than nothing, though, so down in the bag it goes.

Feeling proud over his haul, Gordon makes his way out of the store, both arms weighted down by several overfilled bags. His success bolsters his spirits a little, providing a much needed boost of optimism. Maybe this won't be so bad—Benrey will be too distracted with a PSP the whole trip to bother him, and Gordon will be able to find more supplies as they go.

But this optimism makes him careless, and as he steps out on the street again he forgets to secure the perimeter, a mistake that immediately comes back to bite him in the ass. A headcrab comes flying towards his face, and with his arms weighted down, he isn't quick enough to retaliate. Luckily it's aim is off, one of its sharp legs tearing a gash through his cheek and missing his head entirely. As he jerks out of its way, the bags pull him off balance, sending him careening to the ground as the contents of his bags clatter out onto the sidewalk.

"Shit," he curses, scrambling for the crowbar, but he's unable to locate before hearing the headcrab screech in preparation for another leap. Whipping his head around to face the creature, he instead comes face to face with the black leather of Benrey's uniform boots. Trailing his eyes up, he finds them standing a few feet away, the headcrab held in their blackened claws like one might carry a frog.

The flippant manner in which Benrey behaves with things that could so easily kill Gordon keeps taking him by surprise. It would almost be impressive if it wasn't so terrifying.

"Took a little tumble there huh? Clumsy boy," comes the condescending notes of Benrey's droning voice. "For one BenCoin™️ I'll kill this for you. Or I'll let go I guess."

Shoving to his feet, Gordon snatches up the crowbar, preparing to swing if Benrey suddenly decides to pitch the little bastard at him. His cheek stings like a motherfucker and he can feel blood run down past his chin and down his neck, but he ignores that for now. 

"I don't—you said I had -5 coins! How the fuck am I gonna use coins I don't have, huh?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, no debt. Got stuff to spend. GameStop fund." The words are barely out of their mouth before they begin violently shaking the headcrab around, prompting Gordon to take a step back, his heart leaping into his throat. This treatment really agitates the thing, given the way it starts flailing all its limbs and making lots of noise. 

"DON'T—do that!" Gordon almost starts shouting, but manages to get his volume under control. His panic clearly isn't shared by the gaunt security guard across from him, whose fox-like grin stretches across their nearly nonexistently thin lips.

"Just one whole coin and no more angy lil' crab to worry about," Benrey offers, as the headcrab continues to flail, hungry for blood. "What'd'you say, friend?"

Shuffling his feet, Gordon starts doing some quick calculations in his head. He still doesn't know how many Benny—or Ben coins or whatever they call it—he has. Maybe it's just the one, maybe Benrey hasn't even decided on an amount. The uncertainty makes it harder to gauge the value of their offer. Sure, one coin doesn't sound like much, but it's half your fortune if you only have two.

And he needs to save up if he's going to get that location he's after. Topping GameStop will be hard, and depending on how Benrey has valued that effort it might take him a while to save up when they get out of the city. He's also killed so many headcrabs before. Even agitated, it's not the biggest threat so long as he's ready for it.

Although… this is the perfect opportunity to see if Benrey will play by their own rules. If they do, it might be worth the cost.

"I accept the transaction."

Benrey's grin widens, looking awfully proud of themself. "Thank youuuuu. Was that so hard?"

They let go of the creature—but the second they do, its body ignites through methods unknown to Gordon. He can't hold back a gasp at the sight, watching it burn and warble out a screechy little cry of pain before it expires, and the fire extinguishes itself. With that out of the way, Benrey lifts it, observing its golden brown hue.

"Dinner," they say, shaking it so its legs flop about. The mere suggestion of eating the thing Gordon's seen attached to countless human faces in the past has his stomach turning.

Flopping the creepy little thing about keeps Benrey entertained for a moment, before they tuck it under their arm, facing Gordon once more. Their teal-colored tongue darts out, gliding between their lips and sending a shiver up his spine. "One more coin and I'll take care of that for you, friend," they say, taking a few steps closer and reaching for his cheek.

But their fingers barely graze his skin before Gordon is recoiling away from it, taking a step back. "No," he tells them, Benrey's grin faltering immediately, their hand left hanging in the air between them. There's no longer a need to spend any coins; he got his answer. Benrey will uphold the coin transaction. Good, now he needs to save up, so, no more unnecessary spendings.

Turning away, Gordon bends to pick up his fallen loot. Luckily, nothing seems to have broken, except a bag of chips that had valiantly tried to break his fall when he fell. The rest is a bit dusty or dented but in working condition. Gordon goes to stuff his spoils into the van, finding Benrey's pile of loot as he does so. Most of it is hidden in bags, and he doesn't spend much effort looking through it, but he does spot two brand new Nintendo Switch boxes sticking out of the pile.

"You really went ham in there, man," Gordon comments. "Why did you get two Switches?"

Behind him, there's the sound of something tearing, followed by Benrey blurting. "Huh? One's for you, bro. Got an orange skin for yours and blue for me. Don't know what games you like so I just got two of everything. Some shirts too, though, uh… suit's kinda in the way."

Their words take Gordon by surprise. That is actually… nice of them? Is that possible?! It defies everything Gordon knows about them, never willing to lift a finger for anyone without expecting something in return, or being a huge bitch about it.

He turns towards Benrey, a "thank you" on the tip of his tongue when he catches sight of what they're doing. One of the headcrab's legs have been torn off, and he witnesses it as Benrey stuffs it into their mouth, ripping it apart with their sharp, knife-like teeth as one might a regular crab leg, chewing noisily.

That does it, the combination of stress, pain, and seeing Benrey chew on that… thing has Gordon's stomach turn inside out onto the sidewalk. He empties himself of soda and cheap pizza, choking and gagging as his eyes begin to water. When he finally gets his heaving under control, he leans his forehead against the van's cool metal exterior, soothing the burn in his flushed skin. Now would be a wonderful time for another breakdown, but he doesn't even have the energy to cry. Anything he had left to expel is now splattered on the cracked pavement. He is but an empty husk, filled with nothing but exhaustion.

"Fuck," he mumbles to no one in particular.

"Wow bro that's littering, you gonna clean that up?"

Rather than respond, Gordon takes a deep breath, nearly gagging again as the sound of Benrey chewing reaches his ears. Before he can, he flees, walking on unsteady legs towards the back of the van and flinging open the doors. The interior is lightly padded in a dark gray material, and after he climbs inside and shuts the doors behind him, he collapses in the center of said lightly padded floor. The lighting is dim, giving him a small sense of peace, finally alone and away from the horrors of the outside world.

He takes a couple of calming breaths before sitting back up, retrieving a soda from the backseat and chugging it to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth. He just needs a moment to breathe, a moment where nothing is happening and he can just sag back against the side of the vehicle, letting his mind go empty.

As he does so, he notices how roomy the trunk space is. If he got a mattress, he could probably sleep back here. Yeah, a mattress, maybe some kind of lights and this place could even be cozy. If he got out of the HEV suit and into some of the clothes Benrey apparently had gotten for him he might actually feel like a human again.

An idea hits him, and suddenly he's scrambling to get out of the trunk. He almost ignores Benrey's presence on the sidewalk entirely before remembering that being nice is unfortunately part of the deal now. Glancing to them, he finds them, headcrab-free, rising up off the ground beside the GameStop.

"Guard the van, please," he tells them. "I'll be back in a sec."

See, nice and polite! He didn't even yell at them for eating the headcrab. Just to butter them up further, he gives them a brief pat on the shoulder, their eyes drawn to it immediately, before hurrying back into the store. It's easy to find what he's looking for—whoever looted this place before him apparently wasn't thinking very far ahead.

He shoves his spoils into another bag before darting back to the entrance, this time carefully checking his surroundings before stepping out. Sitting politely on the hood of the van is Benrey, staring vacantly into the middle distance before turning to face him, a multitude of eyes opening along their face and neck.

"Check it out," Gordon starts, unable to keep from grinning. Jumping off the hood of the van, Benrey wanders over, staring over the bag's contents as Gordon braggadociously shows off his spoils to them. "Got us toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner. Even got us some toilet paper."

See, this is why having a zombie apocalypse survival plan is not a waste of time despite what his ex says about it. People in the movies never seem to think about hygiene, but after having spent days without a shower and brushing his teeth, Gordon sure is.

"Nice," Benrey says, though they sound just as bored as ever, and appear to lose interest rather quickly, heading for the passenger's side door soon after. Gordon can't help but be miffed that Benrey doesn't give him a bigger reaction. He's smart, dammit! Thinking of stuff other survivors aren't! He even grabbed stuff for them, that should have earned him a few coins! Although it wouldn't surprise Gordon if Benrey doesn't brush those knife-like things they call teeth. Probably doesn't even have hair under that stupid helmet of theirs. "What flavor?"

"What, the toothpaste? Uh… mint, I guess?" He hadn't really checked when grabbing it. Maybe he'd been wrong about Benrey not brushing their teeth, do they have a favorite toothpaste? Maybe they're like Joshua and refuse certain flavors. He hopes he hasn't blundered and cost himself some hard earned coins.

Benrey pops their lips in response, saying nothing, and instead climbing inside the vehicle without even opening the door, just, clipping right through it. Following their lead, Gordon stashes his spoils with the rest of them before getting back into the driver's seat. It isn't until he's already started the car that he recalls the cut on his cheek. It'll have to wait; it's already stopped bleeding, anyway, and he'd prefer to have his gloves off when he applies the antiseptic cream, which obviously can't happen until they're stopped somewhere safe.

He attempts to cast a smile Benrey's way, but with the stinging pain in his cheek it turns into another grimace. "So… which way now?" he asks them, watching as they adjust their seats to sit up properly. They don't even bother with the seat belt, and Gordon doesn't care to pester them. Not like they can die, anyway. If anything, he'd prefer it if they would give him some time to himself as he waits for them to come back.

Once they've handed out some instructions, Gordon gets the van started, pulling back out onto the road.

Chapter Text

Apart from the hum of the van's engine and Benrey's occasional instructions, the drive carries on in total silence. Not that it bothers Gordon. If anything, it's an incredible boon to no longer have to listen to Benrey's inane ramblings and unwanted, crude flirtations. His focus is diverted to other things as a result, like keeping an eye on the road to avoid headcrab zombies and abandoned cars. Not to mention the overwhelming sting in his freshly torn cheek that demands his constant attention.

It's because of this that Gordon manages to miss the way Benrey is staring at him. Not just the superfluous eyes on their neck, either, but their main set as well, head turned to stare at him borderline unblinking. With that many eyes on him, it's hard not to eventually take notice.

The first time he'd seen them like this, the sight had, naturally, freaked him out. Back then, he'd held onto the belief that they were just weird, some creepy fucking guy who drank tomato juice and called it blood and howled at the moon or some shit. Watching several eyes open on their neck had changed that perspective pretty quickly. Though, by now he's as used to the eyes on their neck as the once on their face. Doesn't mean it doesn't still creep him the fuck out, though.

He's about to bark a What?! at them over all the unabashed staring, but stops himself at the last second. Be nice, he reminds himself. The quicker he can get their stupid coins, the quicker he can get rid of them. 

"So uhh…" He stalls for a moment, unsure what small talk will work on Benrey. They don't seem like the type to take to such things very well. In the end, he falls back on a safe topic where he knows he can at least contribute. "…What games did you get us?"

Bingo. Benrey brightens instantly, not quite a smile so much as a softening of their eyes and a perkiness to their posture. Quickly, they glance into the backseat, before raising up on their knees to start digging through their loot.

"Got, uh, Animal Crossing obviously. No point in owning a Nintendo system if you're not gonna use it to play Animal Crossing," they start, showing off the game case before placing it back. "Tommy and I used to play these together all the time. Got, uh, perfect flower, valley, full museum GameCube…" They pause in their search, resting their head on the back of their seat while again redirecting their dozens of eyes at Gordon. "Thought, we could play together? If you want. Can't always be on the road. Gonna crash. Take breaks."

It's odd, hearing Benrey talk about things without shrouding it in memes, teasing or inane bullshit. Like they're an actual person with a history and not just Gordon's personal devil, sent from hell to torment him. Although he can kind of picture it, Tommy and Benrey, sitting side by side in front of a CRT TV in one of the break rooms at Black Mesa. He doesn't know why he pictures them in Black Mesa of all places. Probably because, even as they sit beside him in a moving vehicle amidst the ruins of a New Mexican city, Gordon has a hard time picturing Benrey anywhere else. 

"Yeah sure, we can play." He answers absentmindedly, not noticing the way Benrey brightens again, head occupied with a new sense of curiosity about the alien. 

Where did they come from? Were they from Xen or some other planet? Are they even an alien? Gordon had just assumed as much, considering their claim of being "not human" and the whole "portals to Xen" thing Black Mesa had going on. But maybe they were grown in a tube, like Bubby? Or enhanced, like Dr. Coomer, and that's why they don't consider themselves human.

"How long were you in Black Mesa for?" The question slips out before he can stop it. Next to him, Benrey's hands, which have gone back to digging through the games, halt halfway to bringing out another case. Cursing internally at his blunder, Gordon prays this won't lose him all the coins this conversation would have netted him originally.

There's a long pause before Benrey answers, returning to their seat empty handed. "Uh… twenty-two years or something," they say.

The fact they manage to give a straightforward answer takes Gordon by surprise. There's nothing suspect about that number, no dumb meme or video game reference as far as he can tell. Though it doesn't really mean too much when Gordon has no idea how old they are to begin with. They have this ancient youth thing going on that makes it hard to determine. Their face is gaunt and eyes hollow, but at the same time their skin is pale and unwrinkled. Then there are all their inhuman traits, the yellow eyes, the teeth, their darkened claw-like fingers.

They might be twenty-two. Or forty-four, or two hundred and two, Gordon has no idea. But if he wants to figure it out, this might be his only shot. There isn't much to do but talk right now, anyway, and getting some of their backstory might help him figure out how best to manipulate them. 

"Damn, that's a long time. How did you end up there anyway?" He tries keeping his tone casual, like it's only a random question and not at all him digging for more information. He could guess a few things—a, presumably, Xen alien working for a science facility that studies Xen aliens. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it? But he doesn't know anything for certain.

At his side, Benrey is humming a gentle melody, gray sweet voice bubbles streaming out of their mouth and quickly flying past as the car keeps on its journey. "Kinda don't remember it, like, super well," Benrey explains, reclining in their seat and staring straight up at the ceiling. "Wasn't there, then I was, and I did NOT like it. Real bright and noisy and shit."

Their wording, though vague, just about confirms his suspicions. And considering the type of shit Gordon's seen at Black Mesa, it's no wonder Benrey's early memories of it aren't pleasant. He'd seen the rooms in Sector E. The cages with the Xen creatures, the bloody operating tables, the buttons that turned anything inside the cages to dust. The thought that Black Mesa might have been using all that shit on a being of higher intelligence like Benrey, it's not a pleasant thought.

"It's what you guys always do," Benrey continues blandly. "Can't leave things alone."

The apology Gordon had prepared for prying goes right out the window the instant Benrey says that. "'You guys'? The fuck do you mean by that?" The anger is back in his voice before he can stop it. Sure, he had worked for Black Mesa for a few years, but he'd been in a totally different department, working with completely different subject matter. He hadn't known Black Mesa was conducting experiments on live subjects, much less intelligent ones.

Benrey's puzzled reaction throws him off. "Huh?" they blurt, staring over at him with wide eyes. "Uh… humans. It's Jurassic Park. Don't need to know everything. I just eat and play around but humans gotta know, like, whyyyyyyy do I do? But like, why does it matter."

Oh… humans. That makes sense. Gordon's anger dissipates, replaced by a vague sense of shame. Of course Benrey differentiates themselves from humans, they aren't one after all. So what are they? Gordon wants to ask, but feels like the moment has passed, like if he asks more they're gonna end up fighting and he'll lose what little advantage he's gotten.

Instead he latches onto their mention of Jurassic Park, thinking back with fondness on how he'd watched the movie with a friend when he was eight and proceeded to have nightmares about being hunted by a t-rex for weeks. Benrey's comparison with the movie is actually kind of spot on, human hubris leading to the death of countless at the hands of their creations. Although at least the people behind Jurassic Park were smart enough to place it on an island. Black Mesa could learn a thing or two about threat containment.

He glances over at Benrey, at their uniform. Were they ever even a guard, or was that just some kind of disguise? Had Benrey attempted to escape and that's why they'd been so insistent on sabotaging the experiment? More questions to add to the pile. For now, though, he'll go with a more lighthearted topic. 

"You'd be a raptor," he says, apropos of nothing. "In Jurassic Park, I mean. Smart enough to open doors, but gets tricked by a mirror." He barks a laugh despite the pain it causes his cheek, as Benrey stares over at him in shock. "Clever girl," he wheezes, proud of his imitation despite the laugh kinda ruining it.

There's nothing but silence from the passenger seat. Worried that his joke might not have landed, Gordon glances over to check on Benrey. He almost flinches at the way they're looking at him, eyes glimmering and wide, flooded with… something Gordon can't place. Then comes the laughter, like someone pressed the button for the laugh track way too late. Deep, staticky cackling fills the dead air created by Benrey's delayed reaction, as they lean against the passenger side door, hiding their face in it.

"You're such a dork!" they exclaim, as Gordon wheezes, unable to keep from laughing alongside them. Even as Benrey calms themself, a huge grin remains on their face, eyes sparkling. "Idiot."

Their laughter reminds Gordon of that moment in the elevator, before everything had gone to shit. He'd just met Benrey and already found them endlessly irritating, but at the same time he couldn't help but be charmed by their weirdness. In a place filled with schedules, restrictions, and regulations, they were an enjoyable chaos. It had left him wondering, if everything hadn't gone wrong, could they have gotten along?

"WAY hotter than a raptor," Benrey is saying, launching off on a tangent now that they've got their laughter under control. "Got, big arms. Way more teeth. Raptor doesn't fuck as hard as me, wish it were me. Couldn't even handle a little, uh, meteor or whatever. Wouldn't happen to me though, sorry to the raptor but I'm different."

Aaaaand Benrey has to go and ruin the moment by being gross about it. He ignores everything they say about their body, although he still glances towards their arms as they mention them. Not much can be seen beneath the guard uniform, but Gordon's are definitely bigger. His arm flexes a little, purely by chance! It's not like he cares if Benrey acknowledges that little fact—and they do, their eyes drawn to it like moths to a flame.

"Oh, yeah? Taken any meteorites to the head lately?" His tone is still light and friendly despite the somewhat harsher nature of his words.

"Yeah got hit by one recently, saved the planet and everything, you're welcome," Benrey answers, speaking rapidly as they continue to gawk at Gordon's arms, a teeth-filled grin tugging at their lips. "Hey your arms are fuckin' nice, bro. Get those wrapped around me you know what I'm sayin'."

Gordon chokes, caught off guard by the sudden come-on. Why do they keep saying stuff like that? Back at Black Mesa, Gordon had assumed it was your typical homophobic bro talk. He's been on the receiving end of such "jokes" enough times to have grown very tired of it. That's why he'd reacted with such vitriol. Yelling and punching in hope of making them drop the "kinda gay of you" schtick. It hadn't worked of course, only made it worse. You'd think that growing up as a queer gamer, he'd have learned not to feed the trolls.

But now, he's not so sure that's actually their intent. They always say that shit with this teasing lilt, like they know it's gross and inappropriate. But at the same time Gordon feels like there is a kernel of truth to the joke. In the Gatorade pool, they'd kissed his cheek, and he'd been too surprised to be mad about it. He'd asked about it but they'd only stared at him before scurrying off. That incident feels important, like it contains relevant information he can use to his advantage now. He decides to test his theory.

"And how many coins would that give me?" he asks. His words are chosen carefully, making zero promises and keeping the eagerness out of his tone. If Benrey is more desperate for what he has to offer than he is, it means the cost will be greater. It's simple supply and demand.

The lascivious grin remains on Benrey's lips for a few moments longer, frozen in place like someone had pressed the pause button on them. Then their smile completely vanishes, as they stare at Gordon with wide, questioning eyes. Hastily fumbling for the lever on the side of their seat, they're so quick to lift it that they overdo it, hissing out a curse as they adjust the seat to sit right, whipping back around to face Gordon.

"Are you offering?" Benrey blurts, overly loud, every word tumbling quick and eager from their lips. "I'm always down for a bro hug, you know, bonding. Not gay if you say no homo first." Their eyes dilate when they look at him, cheeks turning a darker shade of blue. They couldn't be more obvious if they tried—even from the corner of Gordon's eyes, he can see them radiating eagerness.

So the little alien entity is touch starved, huh? Can grow five stories tall and set things on fire with their mind, but can't get a hug. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Gordon almost feels sorry for them. Emphasis on almost.

"I might be…" Gordon offers, voice almost comically nonchalant. "…For a price." Casting a glance their way, he watches them nod, their eyes glancing up and down his body, sizing him up.

"Five coins," they offer. "Suit off and I'll double it."

Taking a moment to contemplate their offer, Gordon runs through the facts; there's no telling how many coins he even has at the moment. If he inquired into the amount, it might come off as too interested, and if Benrey thinks he's only doing stuff to get more coins, he might end up with a coin inflation on his hands. He's willing to hug them for five coins, though, and he's going to need the HEV suit off anyway, so he might as well get that double price. 

"Deal." He throws them a slightly lopsided grin, doing his best to keep his injured cheek as still as possible.

Though it'll have to wait until they stop for the night, but that shouldn't be too long. Benrey's directions have gotten them out of the city and onto the highway, where he can see abandoned cars piled up here and there, but otherwise, it's an empty stretch road for miles. No moving cars or people. It's an eerie sight, and Gordon tries not to think too hard about what it represents.

As he looks out over the road, he takes in the sight of the sun setting over the horizon. It might be advisable to stop for the night, and he tells Benrey as much. "I think I remember there being a motel somewhere around here. If it's not barricaded or overrun, we can camp out there 'til morning."

- ♡ -

The thought of having Gordon's arms around them makes Benrey incredibly dizzy. Even with that bulky suit in the way it's like a dream. They don't mind having to rest their head on a cold metal chestplate, they don't mind that the shape of his body will be obscured, they don't even mind that they won't be able to feel his warmth or how soft his skin is. It's the thought that counts, the thought that Gordon likes them enough to want to hold them, to let them get that close.

They're so excited for this, they can barely stand it. They just keep staring Gordon's way, completely fixated on him and daydreams of what hugging him will be like. Or, rather, being hugged by him. How should they do it? Tuck their arms against his chest? Around his shoulders? Lower back? Will they be sitting or standing?

The sound of his voice draws them back to attention, though only enough that they manage to break free of their daydreaming to check their minimap. It's a few miles down, but Benrey can see the motel he's talking about, just, not what it looks like, beyond a few flat, gray boxes. The threat level is minor, at least in Benrey's opinion. For Gordon… well, he is only one man…

"Three miles down on the left," Benrey reports. "There's, uh, threat. Could take care of it for you though. Five, BreadCoins™ for, for ten blips on the map. Or I'll just sit back and watch you flex your shoulders, put on a real nice show."

They have no idea what the threat is, they're just red enemy blips, could be ten headcrabs, ten zombies, ten Black Mesa Golem Apes for all they know. For all Gordon knows. They'd need to be closer to catch their scent and figure out the answer to that question.

"Sure, man," Gordon says, this wide smile on his face Benrey mistakes for excitement. Is he looking forward to the hug, too? "I'll take that deal as well. You really need to settle on a name for your coins, though. No one's gonna invest in a crypto currency called Bread Coins."

"What'd'you mean? BrennyCoins™ are really gonna take off," Benrey says, pulling the handgun out of the holster at their thigh and setting it down on the dashboard, followed by their two other weapons that get placed in the backseat. "Anyway brb. You're not gonna like this one," they say, phasing through the passenger side window as they pull themself up and onto the roof of the car, which wobbles slightly from the added weight.

"SHIT—Be careful!" Gordon exclaims, the van swerving before he can get it under control. The motion jostles Benrey's body, but they manage to hold on just fine. Kneeling on the roof, they gaze out into the distance—it's hard to see, but they have the coordinates in their mind.

Teleporting is a little tricky when they're in motion, landing them a few feet off from their actual destination. There's nothing but dry grass all around the motel, which is a simple, L-shaped, two-story brick and mortar building with an office on the bottom floor and some vending machines by the stairs. The "threats" seem to be a pack of headcrab zombies and some loose headcrabs just milling about.

Checking their minimap again, they can see that Gordon is too far away to be able to witness any of this with his shitty human eyes, especially with everything surrounding the roads that would make it harder to see in the distance.

So they get to work, stretching and contorting their body until they're nothing but an incoherent mass of teeth and claws and eyes. Their form floods the area, spikes shooting out of them to pierce the fleeing headcrabs into the pavement, claws tearing things apart with a brutal efficiency, teleporting like a glitched out image rubberbanding around the lot as a strange, electronic noise comes out of them.

It takes about fifteen seconds for the battle to be over.

Stacking their kills—six zombies for sixteen headcrabs in total—into a pile in the middle of the parking lot, instinct drives them immediately to feed. The humans don't taste right anymore, like rotten meat. They're melted down to ash, while the headcrabs are cooked and devoured with an animalistic abandon, torn apart by massive teeth and swallowed up like they're nothing but a pile of kibble for the eldritch being that had brought about their end.

When Benrey is all that remains, they… don't feel quite right anymore. Shifting back into a coherent form feels wrong. They need to keep going, to consume and kill until there's nothing left in the world, and then… and then…? They don't know. But the adrenaline leaves them jittery and restless, causing them to break into the vending machines nearby, tearing the fronts off with their massive claws and letting everything inside clatter noisily to the ground.

Several cans of whatever soda ends up the closest are crushed beneath their teeth and devoured whole, until they start to remember what it's like to be human, to sit around playing video games and drinking soda and eating junk food. Soon enough, they're sitting on the bottom of the stairwell, drinking from a can of Sprite normally, popping the tab with their more human-sized claws and chugging it in one go before eating the aluminum. They crack open another immediately, burning through them like a smoker going through a pack a day. Their hands stop shaking and they can't taste the blood and alien meat anymore.

Sated, they lay back against the stairwell and stare up at the sky, humming a meditative gray. Gordon should be coming by any second now, and they hope he knows how to get that HEV suit off because they need it, that human warmth and the flutter of a heartbeat against the side of their head. They don't want the cheaper alternative anymore. They should have charged more for this, but they hadn't known it would feel this way.

It's been a long time since they've let loose like that—which seems to have been for a reason.

It's as they're thinking this that the van pulls up, turning into the parking lot where all evidence of a battle taking place have been burnt to a crisp or devoured, save for the thick gashes in the pavement. Another can is started and finished by the time Gordon has stepped out of the van, drinking slowly this time and letting the fizzy drink ground them to reality.

"Good job," Gordon calls, though Benrey can't help but feel like he doesn't mean it. Like he doesn't understand what they just went through for him. "Transaction complete, I guess. Is the inside secure?"

Benrey doesn't bother responding, the implication enough to get Gordon heading up the stairs, completely ignoring their shift in mood, gaze glued to the sky. Maybe the pink and gold of the setting sun will fix them.

"Come on," Gordon impatiently urges. "I need an extra pair of hands if I'm gonna get out of this manually." 

They chuck their can of soda, where it bounces off a wall and lands inside a bin nearby. Pushing up to their feet, they follow Gordon upstairs.

Chapter Text

"In here, sir," Benrey calls.

By the time they've reached the top of the stairwell, Benrey's focus has started to return. With it comes their habit of leading Gordon around, walking ahead and directing Gordon to one of the rooms in particular. The door is one of the only ones still locked, that is, until Benrey clips their arm through the wood to undo all the locks.

They hold the door open for him, revealing a fairly typical two-bed motel room in browns, reds, and creams. Everything is as clean as could be expected, with a small bathroom, closet, and a cheap TV mounted on the wall in front of the two beds. The wallpaper is peeling and the ceiling is browning with water damage, but, no bugs, no zombies, no viscera. Much better than the other rooms, based on the lack of mold smell.

As they turn to face Gordon, eyes raking over his body and trying to conceptualize what he'll look like without the HEV suit, they eventually notice him hesitating to enter, frozen stiff in the doorway. Bemused, they raise their bored gaze back up to his face, taking in his tense expression. It's easy to figure out he's intimidated, but completely slips their mind as to why. It's just a boring hotel room, he afraid of cum stains or something?

"Can…" Gordon's voice is trembling and reedy, requiring him to clear his throat before he sounds more stable. Not actually stable, but more stable. "Can you go inside first?"

Shrugging, Benrey steps inside, checking back over their shoulder multiple times to gauge Gordon's reaction as they head deeper inside. Opening the bathroom door, they make a show of looking around at the off-white tile. Spotting a tacky shower curtain, they push that aside as well, revealing nothing but cracked porcelain. Leaving both wide open, they move on. Next is the closet, where it's clear to see there's nothing inside but empty coat hangers hanging on a wooden bar. They even raise up the sheets on both beds so Gordon can see under them.

"No boogeymen," they announce. This seems to trigger Gordon's short fuse, as when they raise their head up to look at him, he's red in the face, immediately taking to snapping at them.

"Yes, fine, I get it! Not my fucking fault you gave me PTSD for empty rooms."

They watch with widened eyes as he storms inside the room, slamming the door and chucking the bag he brought with him onto one of the empty beds. The sudden outburst snaps Benrey out of the haze their mind had fallen into, watching, stunned, as he stomps into the bathroom to check the water in the shower. They were only trying to be nice, show him there weren't any aliens that could burst out and attack them. What did they do wrong?

Humming a green melody, Benrey flops back against the bed, throwing their arms out at their sides. It's like Gordon's never happy with anything they do even when they're trying so hard to be nice. And they don't have to! That request could have cost him but they were willing to do it because they wanted to, because they wanted him to see that they've made this a safe space for him. They went above and beyond and he's mad!

When Gordon returns, Benrey slowly pushes back up, staring at the back of the HEV suit as he turns to expose it to them. "There should be a latch there for you to pull," he explains, jumping right into it without so much of a thank you, Benrey, I love the room with a view, Benrey, you're so cool, Benrey. "You might need to pull it really hard, but for the love of god, don't break it."

- ♡ -

Benrey has been unusually well behaved, staying quiet even when Gordon snapped at them. But any suspicions that their behavior might be a trick is wiped away when they obediently stand to search his back for the latch. He holds his hair while they do so, hearing them mumble something but not caring to investigate what it is.

The anticipation is killing him. His chest is growing tight, as if the suit has started to squeeze his ribcage. Every moment this drags on for feels worse and worse, anxiety starting to cloud his mind, irrationally convinced that if this doesn't happen soon, he may never get out of this thing.

When the latch finally releases and the chest piece hisses open, it's with a sharp intake of breath and an overwhelming shudder that he begins to pull at the pieces, yanking them off and chucking them away with a passionate fervor. With each piece that falls away, he feels himself fall apart more and more, throat growing tight as his eyes sting with tears.

When finally, finally, his upper half has been stripped bare, he pulls in a deep, shuddering breath through the tightness in his throat, choking on a sob as he throws his arms around his exposed chest, desperate to feel something other than the nylon fabric that lined the inside of the suit. 

It's almost too much, the sensation of skin grazing skin. After a week spent unable to feel at all, his flesh feels almost alien, oversensitive yet numb all at once. Whether from exhaustion, adrenaline, or this overwhelming sense of relief, he's not sure, but his knees buckle out from under him and he sinks to the floor. Though his legs remain encased in the suit, he allows himself this moment of catharsis, enveloping himself in his arms just to feel something.

Any attempts to control his laborious breathing or blink away the moisture clinging to his lashes are futile. But his brain is screaming at him that he has to, that he has to get up, to quell this pathetic display he's putting on right in front of Benrey. All that's happened is he's taken the HEV suit off, it's not a big deal! But regardless of these feelings of shame, he doesn't get up. Instead, another sob escapes him, tears streaking down his dirt-covered cheeks.

The experience is so overwhelming, it escapes his notice just what Benrey is doing during all of this. They could have left for all he knows—or they're taking pictures to make fun of him later, holding it over his head as blackmail material to drain more coins out of him.

What he can't possibly ignore, however, are the cold fingers reaching out to brush across his shoulder, their touch burning his flesh like a brand. Without thought, Gordon throws his arm out, slapping the offending hand away. Even that is overwhelming, yanking his arm back to cradle against his chest, hoping to soothe the sting and the tingling in his skin.

Through blurry eyes, he can barely see the guard kneeled in front of him; the humiliation is far too much to bear, he can't bring himself to look up into their eyes, see the mockery or annoyance or whatever else they must be feeling, stuck with such a pathetic sight as him.

It's with an unsteady breath and a thick gulp that he manages to speak up. "Sorry. I'm… I haven't—It's a lot."

With a wave of his hand, he indicates to the whole of his body, freezing partway through as the sight of a pale, jagged ring circling his arm catches his eye. The scar is right below his elbow, running all the way around his forearm.

Everything feels farther away as he takes in the sight of it, his free hand not feeling like it belongs to him as it raises up to trace the scar, only able to snap out of this trance when he feels the fingertips graze his arm. The scar tissue is smooth, like it's been there for years as opposed to days—because despite feeling like an eternity, it's truly only been days since his arm was sawed off with a military grade dagger. The scar is a permanent reminder of that—of why he shouldn't trust Benrey, regardless of how helpful they may seem.

But he can't play the part of bitter and spiteful now. Not now when he has something to gain from them. So he'll play nice for now, play their little games until they give him what he needs, and then he'll toss them aside at the first opportunity.

With a deep sigh, he adjusts more fully to the feeling of being disrobed, of feeling the air flow against his flesh. The thought of a shower feels more alluring than ever now that the suit is off, but he's still got the lower half to work on.

"I'm fine now," Gordon adds, like an afterthought. He has to be nice if he's going to get what he needs. "Thanks. I can get the rest off myself."

- ♡ -

It doesn't matter that Gordon is so rude to them now, requesting they open the latch without so much as a please or thank you. It'll pay off soon, when this suit sits in pieces on the ground and they get a front row seat to Gordon's naked, sweaty body.

"Thought this wasn't s'posed to come off," they blandly mutter, bending this way and that in search of said latch before locating it at the base of his spine. Not much effort is needed to pull it, yellow eyes watching with disinterest as the chestplate hisses and starts to detach itself.

That disinterest rapidly turns to a feverish interest as they catch a peek at the sweaty brown skin underneath, quickly realizing he's not wearing a shirt. Heat rises to Benrey's face, eyes wide under the visor of their helmet.

Watching the pieces fall to unveil his body, it occurs to Benrey that Gordon is so much more attractive than they ever could have imagined. Thick arms work at tugging off the various pieces of the suit, revealing more and more bits of tantalizingly soft flesh covered in curly brown hairs. Faint freckles and the occasional mole decorate the vast expanse of his back, arousal washing over them as they picture what their claws could do to that back, how his weight could pin them to a bed, the sweat from his skin clinging to theirs. And though they can only glimpse his front when he turns to chuck more bits of the suit aside, those glimpses have their mouth watering.

Until the sound Gordon's making as he disrobes finally pierces through the gay outer layers of their skull. His harsh, shaky breaths snap them out of it immediately, taking in the appearance of his shaking hands, of the tears streaming down his cheeks whenever he turns enough for them to catch a glimpse.

Why is he crying? Is he so relieved that he's overcome with joy, and all he can do is passionately wail? Benrey nods to themself, satisfied with this explanation. Gordon is that type of person, loud about everything even when he isn't speaking. It's very hard not to notice him.

They watch as he chucks each piece aside, so aggressive and passionate in the act of disrobing, of freeing himself from the confines of the suit. His hands shake, the delicate press of his now bare fingers against his arms causing him to flinch. Though he's still got the lower half to remove, his knees buckle and he collapses to the floor, curling in on himself as he continues to tremble, struggling to control his breaths as he continues to sob.

He's so… emotional. Wow, what a man…!

Benrey makes a move to kneel beside him, getting down on their knees in front of him. Politely averting their eyes from his face, they stare down at Gordon's legs. Even though his chest is a lot more interesting, covered in warm brown hairs that trail down under the rest of the HEV suit. But this isn't the time to go lusting after him, he's clearly going through it.

"Need more help?" Benrey inquires, humming a pleasant shade of purple. The look on Gordon's face doesn't say "overjoyed", but they have trouble figuring out what it does say. "Friend?" Clueless as to what's got Gordon so overwhelmed, they reach out and place a hand on his shoulder, copying what he always does to others. It means comfort and companionship in human body language, they think.

Or maybe not, because the instant their fingers graze his skin, his arm shoots out, slapping it away. Teal and red sweet voice bursts out of their mouth, as Gordon yanks back his arm, looking just as stunned as they feel, before cradling it against his chest.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm… I haven't—It's a lot."

While the rejection of their touch hurts, Gordon's words soothe them, reassuring them they haven't done anything wrong. He's just overwhelmed. They don't really understand, but they've never been in a sensory deprivation suit before, which is essentially what the HEV suit has been for the last week or so. Benrey hadn't even thought about it, the idea that getting to touch things is some kind of privilege.

Raising his hand, Gordon makes some sort of vague gesture before freezing entirely. His other hand comes up to trace the pale, jagged scar circling his right arm, just beneath the elbow. It's a curious sight. Benrey had forgotten humans had no choice but to scar. The process confuses them, as their body doesn't experience such things naturally.

"I'm fine now," Gordon continues, and he appears to mean it. While they still refuse to look at his face, they can tell he isn't crying anymore, and his body has stopped trembling. "Thanks. I can get the rest off myself."

All Benrey offers in response is a nod. Now that everything is fine, they stand, leaning back against the wall and openly leering at him as he undresses the rest of the way. This requires some wiggling and less than dignified jumping. Benrey watches with a lascivious smirk as he works, eyes flicking back and forth between the way his belly fat jiggles, and his thighs that do the same, humming blue to keep themselves from getting hard at the sight. This is quite the show, he should be getting paid for this.

Once it's all off, Gordon stretches his arms above his head with a satisfied groan. Benrey bites their lip, holding back a groan as they take in the sight of him, in nothing but his underwear—dark blue briefs with little microscopes on them—until their eyes drop to his feet, and they stop breathing for a second.

The HEV suit's boots could never have prepared them for this. Gordon's cute little feet are anything but little. Instead, they're long and thick, probably the biggest pair Benrey's ever seen, nails neatly trimmed and clean with cute little freckles here and there. "Foot rub" is probably a weird thing to earn Gordon points but they're really thinking about it.

They won't, though. Sex is… not sacred, but sex with Gordon is pretty close to sacred. It's just not right to offer it for points, currency, whatever, and going near those is never gonna not be sexual. Gotta nix that idea right now, think clean shit, puppies, baseball, anything to get their dick to calm down.

"Nice feet can I meet them," Benrey blurts, hitting on him in hopes that he'll laugh, or tease them for being a pervert or both. Anything to reassure them that Gordon is in a better mood.

"Hey, eyes of the merchandise," Gordon chides. Hearing his lighthearted tone has Benrey brightening considerably. They watch him gather up some of the stuff from the bag he brought, before heading for the bathroom. "You want a meet and greet, it's gonna cost you." They're about to ask for a price, as a joke, when he pauses, sticking his head back out of the bathroom. "How many coins for you to find me a pair of pants and some clean underwear?"

Though Benrey would've liked to have had time to hook up their Switch to the TV and strip out of their uniform which they've never enjoyed wearing… they don't have anything to change into, just like Gordon doesn't. That makes this task just as much for them as it is for him.

A huge, teeth-filled grin stretches across their lips as something else occurs to them. "Gonna rack up debt but if you gimme a hug when I get home all's forgiven," Benrey explains. "Three coins. And also your pants and shoe size. Fork 'em over."

They're already on their feet, contemplating where they're gonna find these supplies. They can teleport anywhere on their map—and they already know this motel is picked clean of anything useful save for the snacks Benrey left on the ground downstairs. There's also a laundromat not far away, but why bother with that when they could go shopping? They've never had a chance to dress themself, so the prospect is exciting. Even more exciting is the opportunity to dress Gordon.

But he doesn't have to know how much they enjoy the nature of this request.

"You're coming off a bit desperate for that hug, man," Gordon comments. "Size fifteen shoes and uuhhh… go with large for pant sizes, I can never keep track of the number thing they do."

Benrey nearly chokes. Fifteen. Fifteen? Size fifteen, fifteen in feet, size fifteen shoes—that's a foot long! That's even bigger than their dick! Goddamn, fuck, holy shit, holy fucking shit. That's a lot of prime real estate for, foot rub… could crush them, stomp all over them, shove their head down into the dirt.

Focus. Need to find a store, clothes for both of them, maybe some other things… gloves? The weather isn't too bad right now, being late spring and all, so it's not like they need to stay warm. Could get Gordon some hair ties, maybe. Yeah. That's a plan.

"Brb bestie," Benrey calls towards the closed bathroom door, before unceremoniously vanishing from the room. They reappear inside a local mall, back in the city they just left behind. Unsurprisingly, the place is crawling with hostile aliens, but none pose a threat. The threat is more in the form of all the merchandise they're destroying, which is real fuckin' rude. Several shops just aren't an option given how fucked up they are, with too much viscera and scorch marks to be viable.

Luckily no one decided to take refuge in the Hottopic. The second Benrey lays eyes on it, a grin lights up their face, looking downright diabolical. They rush in, cackling to themself to make their giddiness known in as comical a fashion as possible—even though no one's looking. Well, except for the headcrabs scuttling down the tile outside, but, they don't matter.

Like a kid in a candy store, Benrey grabs some bags and starts loading up. Even if they don't wear all this on the trip, they'll get to keep it all later, whenever this apocalypse thing blows over. Hoodies, shirts, pants, boots, socks, bracelets, necklaces, on and on. The idea that they'll get to wear whatever they want for once is so exciting that they can't resist the urge to change right away.

It takes them a while to decide, but they end up in a fishnet shirt layered over a striped black-and-blue tank top, black hoodie with cat ears on the hood, tight blue plaid pants covered in zippers with a spiked black belt, and suspenders, plus tall leather boots with more straps than strictly necessary. There's enough bracelets to take up most of both wrists, several necklaces hanging from their neck where a choker resembling a dog collar with chains and a skull pin is wrapped tightly around their throat, and a dark leather backpack with bat wings on it that they stuff everything else into.

For a long time, they just stare at themself in the mirror outside the changeroom and pose, running their hands through their shoulder-length black curls and wondering… who is this? And why haven't I met them before?

It feels… good. Euphoric, even, so incredible that they head back out into the main part of the mall to dropkick their helmet as far as possible, setting the rest of the uniform ablaze in a nearby trash bin with a frankly maniacal laugh.

Picking up some loungewear and a pack of briefs for themself, they stuff that into their bag as well before finally tracking down some clothes for Gordon. They grab a duffel bag from a nearby shop to store his clothes in before going to town.

Taking his complexion into consideration, they end up going for browns, greens, dark purples, and oranges since that's the color they associate with him. Plus the staple whites, grays, and blacks. After that comes getting him some jeans, which Benrey can't resist the urge to get with fashionable tears—it's the apocalypse, Gordon's gotta embrace the punkness of it all! They even throw in some belts and accessories from Hottopic to complete the look. They grab about six pairs of jeans in black and white, a pack of hair ties, and some briefs, stuffing them into a duffel bag with the rest of Gordon's new clothes before moving on.

Next is the part that. Well it's certainly. Uhh.

So maybe they've spent a, frankly obscene amount of time at the shoe store. They have no defense, they've spent countless minutes debating on the sexiest boots and socks to dress Gordon in, weighing stompability over aesthetics and how well they'll fit to the shape of his body. It's really difficult to give up on a pair of semi-opaque dark brown socks in favor of some soft, tall black ones, but if Gordon's going to kick them in their head they want it to be for sexy reasons and not because he's mad at them. They argue that it's classier this way anyway. More to unveil.

Carrying both bags, they teleport back to the motel, running a quick perimeter check on their minimap and easily declaring the area secure. With that out of the way, they head inside, finding Gordon curled up in one of the beds. It's not the first time they've ever seen him asleep but this is certainly the first time it's been with freshly washed hair, cozied up in bed. He looks more peaceful than normal. Certainly he always looks troubled while he slumbers, but this is a noticeable improvement.

And Benrey would know. They watch him sleep every night.

Setting the duffel bag down with the rest of the stuff Gordon brought up earlier, Benrey kneels by the bed, gazing openly at Gordon's resting face. He's too much of a heavy sleeper to ever notice them doing this, not stirring even as they sit down on the bed beside him.

Not that they're gonna do anything while they're here! Or, well, maybe they lean over him like he's Sleeping Beauty and they're the prince that will wake him, but they don't kiss him. Instead, their eyes rake over his face, taking in the faint freckles over his nose, his dark circles, the way his mouth hangs open to reveal the glistening interior of his plush, soft lips…

It's too fucking much to handle, and they have to get up and start pacing wildly while humming a deep blue to calm themself down.

Afterwards, they force their mind into a friendlier place, coming up with a plan to wake Gordon before they start, like, petting his hair like a huge creep or something. The urge to flop on top of him like a dying fish is powerful, but he'll probably freak out WAY too hard and ruin the joke. So, instead they sit down on the bed with him, giving him a firm shake and calling his name.

- ♡ -

The shower takes a couple minutes to heat up, as Gordon busies himself with lining up all his bath products on the cracked porcelain sink. The shampoo and conditioner he's picked up are nothing fancy, just like the shower gel, cheap plastic toothbrush, and generic toothpaste. With that out of the way, and the water still uncomfortably cold, he brushes his teeth, spitting and re-brushing three times before that fuzzy, unclean feeling in his mouth is totally gone.

As he steps out of his briefs and into the shower for the first time in over a week, the sensation of the hot water hitting his skin borders on painful. It takes quite a bit of adjustment until he gets used to the feeling, hopping in and out before he finally feels ready, finally able to relax as the water's warmth seeps into him, all the way to his bones.

For a long while he just stands there under the spray, letting his mind drift. During the hell that was Black Mesa, he barely ever got a moment's rest. Even sleeping was fraught and sporadic, every break to eat or simply take a breather and speak to his companions featuring at least one person trying to rush him along, or some disaster doing the same. He needs this, this moment to unwind, to feel human again, to be enveloped in the warmth, comfort, and security of a warm shower.

But it can't last forever. Eventually, he starts with the actual clean up, letting his hair get three rounds of shampoo before putting in the conditioner and doing the same with his body wash. Nothing is left untouched, scrubbing grime from every nook and crevice until his skin is rubbed raw from the effort. Still he doesn't quite feel clean. He's not sure if he ever will.

Stepping out of the shower is nearly as big of a relief as getting out of the suit. He takes his time untangling his hair with his fingers since he, unfortunately, forgot to grab a brush or a comb. No mind, it's better for his natural curls anyway.

Lastly, he finally takes care of the wound on his cheek. The angry red gash had started to bleed again when he cleaned his face, but luckily it's neither very deep nor does it look infected yet. He carefully rubs some antiseptic cream into the cut before covering it with a couple of bandaids. 

Once he's done, he finally stops to catch his own reflection in the mirror. If he thought the bags under his eyes were big when he was in college, it's nothing compared to now. His goatee is in desperate need of a trim, but he didn't take a razor either, so it looks like he's growing out his beard. At least that could serve to hide how gaunt his face looks, cheeks more hollow than he remembers, tawny skin unhealthily pale save for where dark bruises paint it yellow and purple.

Ignoring the fact he looks like death, he leaves his underwear on the floor, instead wrapping a towel around his waist before walking back into the bedroom. Benrey isn't back yet, so Gordon lets himself fall down on his bed with a groan, wrapping the comforter around himself. It's in the middle of wondering if anything is still being broadcasted on TV that he slips away into the realm of dreams.

For once, it's not a nightmare that he falls into. But that doesn't mean his dream is any less of a bizarre mess. Dr. Coomer is there, trying to show him how to climb a rope, but they keep breaking, requiring them to track down a new one, forcing Dr. Coomer to start his lesson over again. Tommy is nearby talking to someone about… something. Gordon struggles to listen in on the conversation, but Dr. Coomer's explanation is drowning it out. It feels like he's forgotten something… something important. 

"Gordon!" Dr. Coomer exclaims.

"What?"

"Gordon," he repeats.

"What?!" 

Gordon.

Like a slap to the face, Gordon jolts back to awareness, flailing his arms in a clumsy attempt at self defense but realizing that someone is shaking him. Righting his glasses, he squints through bleary eyes up at the figure hovering over him. 

"Who…"

He doesn't recognise the person in front of him, not a first. Initially he considers that they're another survivor who's found their way into the room. Until spotting their inhuman yellow eyes, at which point, it all becomes clear.

"Benrey?!"

His eyes flick over their clothes, taking in all the little accessories, the hoodie, the mesh shirt. And they have hair! The strands cascade in soft raven curls over their shoulders, framing their gaunt face and dripping down into their eyes, where the dark shadow he'd originally assumed was cast by their helmet continues to linger.

He hates to admit it, but Benrey looks… good. Really good. The guard uniform did not do them any favors, hiding them away, making them look drab and… human. This more alternative getup instead heightens their alien features. The dark colors bring out the yellow in their eyes and the blue in their skin, while their tight fitting clothes show off exactly where Benrey's strength comes from. They're actually pretty fucking ripped!

He's having a hard time wrapping his brain around this new image of them. It's so different from the impression he has of them in his head. They were supposed to be old, weird, and gross looking, possibly bald, maybe even with scales or some shit. Something that matches how they act and how Gordon feels about them. Yet, here they are, reminding him all too much of his own little stint into alternative styles in his teen years and the crushes he had on certain emo band singers.

This is not how it's supposed to be, and Gordon doesn't really know how to handle it. His mind is reeling, mouth opening and closing a few times before he settles on: 

"New clothes?"

- ♡ -

Tilting their head down at him, Benrey can't help but note that Gordon seems a little… speechless? They don't know a lot about humans, but they know enough to puzzle out that their choice of aesthetic is a little… unconventional, considering there was only one shop dedicated to it in the whole mall, and countless to polos and jeans. Well, that and Spencers, but Gordon doesn't need to know what they picked up in there.

"Yeah, do you like them?" Benrey asks, leaning back on one hand to show off their new outfit. The silver from their jewelry glistens a little in the overhead light, and their new position highlights the way their chest presses up against the tight fabric of their shirt, riding up over the top of their pants to bare some midriff—including the treasure trail leading up towards their navel.

The way Gordon's eyes bulge in response to their little display puts a grin on their face. Whether positive or negative, they get a little bit of a thrill out of it, a certain swagger in their step that didn't exist in their stiff posture from before. Some very gay part of their brain would like to believe Gordon likes what he sees. And, well, as the man sits up and the blanket falls down off his chest, Benrey knows that they certainly like what they see.

"Got more, uh, in here," they turn to show Gordon their backpack. "And yours in that bag over there," they point to the duffel bag near the rest of Gordon's things. "Anyway hurry and get up I wanna hug. My hug meter is DEPLETING and I'll die if I don't get it."

Benrey hops off the bed midway through their complaints, grabbing the bag and tossing it onto Gordon's bed. As much as they'd like to hug him while he's still in a state of undress, Gordon probably doesn't, and it's not like they'll be able to feel much if they're not also undressed. And, considering the look on his face as he glances down over his nude body, they're supposing he's too shy to even step outside the blanket.

"Uhh… shower is free," Gordon points out, pulling the blanket tighter around his midriff. "There's shower stuff and toothpaste in there, toothbrushes are in the bag. You haven't showered for like a week either, I'll hug you after you de-stink yourself."

"How dare you, I smell very good, but, you're gonna be SO amazed by what you smell afterwards. Roses and cinnamon and JOY. Never gonna wanna stop hugging…" Benrey trails off, speaking while they gather up a clean toothbrush, blue so it's obvious it belongs to them, and head into the bathroom with it, closing the door behind them.

Strictly speaking, they don't even need to bathe, and they definitely aren't dirty and don't smell bad. This isn't even some stubbornness born of a lack of desire to shower—their biology just works that way, self-cleaning like a lizard shedding its skin or a human's skin cells dying and replenishing themselves. Still, they decide to tackle brushing their teeth, first.

This is an arduous process—they don't strictly need to do this, either, and unlike showering, which is borderline magical, they don't consider it a pleasant experience. There's just SO. MANY. TEETH, the shape of them such that they can't do that back-and-forth thing humans do. Maneuvering the brush is confusing and uncomfortable, stressing them out such that they give up part of the way through, throwing a mangled brush into the sink.

Showering. That's easy. Taking off all their clothes and tossing them carelessly aside, they step into the shower. Fiddling with the knobs, they flinch away from the cold water and nearly trip and fall. Cold, bad. They step out of the shower to fix it, blasting the hot water to a degree that it would probably melt a human being, but to them it feels divine.

Stepping back under the showerhead, they stand still, just letting the water soak their hair and wash down their body. After a few minutes, they hum some gray sweet voice and begin sorting through the soaps and other products Gordon left behind. Not the scents they would prefer—though they suppose expecting Gordon to come out of that cheapo little shop with some cinnamon or chocolate scented shampoo is unrealistic—but the green apple scent is close enough. Smells like happiness and safety. The coconut can be for Gordon… but maybe they'll use a little, so it smells like he's been on them recently. He doesn't have to know they did it for that reason.

Once they're done, they shake their whole body like a dog before grabbing a towel to finish the job. Their clothes are a little damp, but not enough that it bothers them, and they get redressed once they're properly dried off.

Glancing at the sink, they scowl at the sight of the brush, picking it up and tossing it into a bin nearby. Exhaling a few purple bubbles, they look up into the mirror, again struck by their own reflection. The clothes and, now, their freshly washed hair make them feel like a person, one who smells of artificial scents instead of the kind of chemicals you'd find in a hospital. The ones you'd find in… Black Mesa.

Turning away, they open the door and step back out into the main room.

- ♡ -

It isn't until Gordon hears the water start running in the bathroom that he scrambles out of bed, hastily pulling on a new pair of underwear. Now no longer totally exposed, Gordon dares to take it a bit easier. Sorting through the clothes he takes stock of what he got. There's the usual stuff, plus a pair of sturdy boots, and… the cylindrical pack of hair ties he pulls out takes him by surprise. It's an oddly thoughtful gesture that Gordon honestly hadn't expected.

Using said pack of hair ties, Gordon pulls his hair up into a ponytail before slipping into a pair of sweatpants and a soft gray t-shirt. After a moment of hesitation he puts on socks as well. Benrey is having a bit too much fun ogling his feet for his tastes. 

Wearing clean clothes is almost as heavenly as the shower had been. All the new sensations have his skin feeling oversensitive, but the fabric of the clothes Benrey picked out for him are soft enough to make up for that.

But regardless of this newfound comfort, there's still the matter of what he promised Benrey in return hanging over his head. Obviously he doesn't feel too enthusiastic about hugging Benrey. They're an infuriating little shit at best and an unkillable, homicidal abomination at worst. Sure, they've mellowed out since then, but that doesn't mean Gordon wants them touching him. Or anything, really. Even the briefest of touches from them had been… a lot. Now that he's had time to adjust, it won't be as bad, but it still worries him.

Would Benrey even care if Gordon found it too uncomfortable and asked them to stop? Would they deduct points for that? There's a lot to consider, and Benrey is seemingly impossible to predict.

These ponderings pull him into such a trance that he jumps the instant the bathroom door opens, jostled back into reality. One might assume seeing Benrey dressed this way for a second time would lessen the strangeness of it all, but unfortunately, that is not the case. Gordon is now treated to this slightly damp version of them, water weighing down their curls and creating this blue tint to their dark strands. It's an attractive look, Gordon thinks, before promptly grabbing that thought by the scruff of its neck and shoving it deep into the vault. NOPE! None of that. Time to stop overthinking things and get this hug over with so that he can finally go the fuck to sleep.

Climbing out of bed, he doesn't even say anything, instead merely opening his arms, hoping Benrey will get the hint.

- ♡ -

The first thing on Benrey's mind as they step out, other than checking out Gordon in his new clothes, is to ask for that hug. They had plans, they were gonna ogle him, call him hot or sexy or smokin' or something, jump onto the bed and childishly demand a hug. And Gordon certainly does look nice in the loungewear Benrey got him, all cozy and…

Huggable. And he's skipping right to it, holding out his arms for Benrey to run into, they didn't even have the chance to beg him for it first. For a while, all they can do is stare, struggling to reconcile the Gordon that's kept pushing this off with the one now freely offering it. For coins, yes, but that was the whole POINT of the coins.

Once this undeniable fact has registered in Benrey's brain, they don't waste anymore time, darting forward at a faster pace than any human could hope to replicate to throw their arms around him. The force at which they collide with him would be enough to knock him off his feet, if not for how tightly they're gripping onto him, legs braced to keep him held against them while he flails in search of balance.

Immediately they can feel the warmth of his plush body suffuse into them, flooding their system with heat. And endorphins, their body practically buzzing with the giddy energy tingling across their body. When he settles his arm around their shoulders, it makes them so ridiculously happy they hardly know what to do with themself. They're at the perfect height to tuck their head under Gordon's chin, and they do so now, nuzzling their face against his beard, enthralled by the spiky feeling of the stubble trailing down his neck, the flutter of his pulse and the way his chest expands into them as he breathes.

As their hands run over his back, they settle their head against his chest, turning to bury their face between his pectorals and inhaling deeply—for the most part they can just smell shirt, but his scent is in there, too, the green apples and coconuts and his natural musk, which is especially exciting. With a deeply contented sigh, they tighten their borderline desperate grip around the back of his shirt, mind growing fuzzy.

Ten points… this is easily worth more, they could permadeath right now having known this and be just fine with that.

One of their hands finds his hair, stroking lovingly through his curls, oblivious to the immediate tension this puts in Gordon's posture. His hair is just so soft and smooth. Too bad they can't bury their face in it from this angle.

Dazed, it takes a lot of insistence before Benrey realizes Gordon is speaking, much less moving around, insistently pushing at their shoulders. Everything feels different, dreamlike, they feel good in a way they never have before. The trance they've fallen into is familiar, in a way—like getting their thoughts fucked out of them, like getting high in the guard barracks, like letting instinct take over and allowing themself to kill and consume without question. Some of those things start bleeding together in their mind, until the warmth they feel ignites into the burning hot flames of arousal.

Which is the worst time for that, Gordon's pushing them away and even if he wasn't, pursuing something more than this is just… never going to happen. Sure, they have a plan for if he offers to kiss them, but sex isn't on the table, not for coins. Never for coins.

"That's it, that's what a ten coin hug gives you," Gordon is saying, a slight waver to his otherwise lighthearted tone that Benrey has trouble understanding. Are they gripping him too hard, can he not breathe? Based on the way he's urging them to let go, maybe they are. "I'm gonna go and collapse in bed now."

Reluctantly, Benrey takes a step back, their hands slowly falling away from his body, sliding down his sides to really drag it out, not wanting to take their hands off of him. As they do so, they avoid Gordon's gaze, lest it compel them to do something stupid.

"Uh," they breathe, this restless feeling begging them to go back, but Gordon's made it clear, it's over. Pushing him is bad, they want him to want it too even if it's only for the coins, and not… because of any feelings. Feelings like, the overwhelming desire to tug him over to them, crash their lips together with a carnal desperation, before pushing him back onto the bed and riding him with everything they have. Their fingers twitch with the urge to act out this fantasy of theirs. "Okay…"

Whipping around suddenly, Benrey hastily stumbles back into the bathroom with zero explanation, locking the door behind them. Sitting with their back against the tub, they wrap their arms around themself, shivering at the feeling of the mesh shirt rubbing against their skin, their fingers brushing across their neck. This was supposed to be like scratching an itch. They'd hold him and then they wouldn't crave it again for a while. Instead, they crave it a million times more.

Now their body is all out of whack. Reliving the sensation of Gordon's body pressed tightly against theirs, no HEV suit to come between them. His hands on their shoulders. His scent, the scratchiness of his beard, the heat and size and shape of his body.

Exhaling a heady breath, Benrey slides farther down the floor, parting their legs and palming at the erection tenting their pants with a slight hiss. Their other hand slides up over their chest and neck to cover their mouth, hips pushing up into their hand. This is bad, really bad, a bad time, a bad place. They've never been known to be quiet and Gordon is right outside, probably wondering why they ran off.

But none of these thoughts stop them from fumbling to get their belt off, hastily taking themself in hand and biting down on their free hand to keep quiet.

The first glide of their sweet voice-slicked hand over their cock is—it's, a lot. The past week has forced them into a dry spell, unable to get a moment alone to rub one out. And now that they've experienced what it's like to be enveloped in Gordon's body, they're dizzy and aching with arousal, the first touch to their cock felt across their whole body. This definitely isn't going to last long.

Their eyes flutter shut, thighs parting wider as their mind begins to drift. They can so vividly picture Gordon's bulk pushing them down, beard rubbing against their cheek as he kisses down to their neck, head tipping back so he can suck a mark into their throat, right above the choker. They—he pushes their shirt up over their chest, hands running over their nipples. Pale blue precum drips from their tip and over his fingers as he strokes their throbbing member with his big slick hand, their voice growing whiny though the sound is muffled behind closed lips.

In their mind is a nonstop mantra of Gordon, Gordon, Gordon—! as the pressure builds in their core, pleasure washing over them in waves as their fantasy of Gordon crowds them, a strong arm wrapping around their back to pull them against his ample chest as they cum with a silent cry. Plum sweet voice drips down their chin and onto their chest as they slump against the tub, breathing slowly.

Humming a calming blue, they begin to assess the mess they've made. The cum that's spilled over their fingers and onto their waist will fade on its own as all sweet voice does—and just about every fluid their body produces is some form of it. But to make sure Gordon doesn't see it, they find a nearby towel to wipe themselves off on. Once that's done, all that's left is to get redressed and sorted out before rejoining Gordon in the main room.

- ♡ -

As their hug had ended, Gordon noticed that Benrey looked weirdly out of it. Without the helmet obscuring so much of their face, Gordon has an easier time reading their expression—eyes unfocused, lips parted to reveal rows of sharp teeth, a light blue flush covering their otherwise pale complexion.

Watching them stumble back to the bathroom that way, Gordon can't help but wonder what's going on with them. Some alien nonsense, perhaps. It doesn't matter, he's far too tired to be bothered with it now. If anything, he should be grateful they didn't start teasing him instead. Although, that would have made them a target as well. After all, it was Benrey rubbing their face all over him like an overenthusiastic cat looking for cuddles. If anyone has teasing rights, it sure as fuck isn't Benrey.

Shrugging their weird behavior off, Gordon climbs into bed. Normally he'd sleep naked, prone to overheating as he is, but that is not a viable option with Benrey in the room and with the high probability needing to make a quick escape. It's also good for him to get used to the feeling of wearing clothes again.

Sleep doesn't come as easy this time around, however, despite his overwhelming exhaustion. All over his body, the ghost of Benrey's touch lingers, a tingling sensation serving to remind him of everywhere they've been. Carefully, Gordon runs a hand over his chest, where Benrey had buried their face. If only they'd been someone he actually cares about, then he could have cradled their head against his chest, held them there as he let his other hand trace over their back, down towards their ass clad in those tight plaid pants…

His eyes snap open. Somehow his fantasy of holding a nondescript person in arms has has been broken into by the one person he doesn't want to think about right now, or ever, really. To make matters worse, he can feel the throb of a budding erection between his legs, brought on by the sudden pulse of arousal having imaginary Benrey's imaginary ass in his grasp had conjured up.

Mortified, Gordon buries his face in the pillow. This isn't him, it's just because he's touch starved and tired! His body is just reacting, okay, reacting to the first intimate touch he's received in years with no regards to his actual feelings for them. Not just that, but he's still getting used to this new image he has of Benrey. They're just very similar looking to some old crushes of his, no wonder his brain got so confused. It's not like he's getting flustered over their crusty old guard look. It has nothing to do with Benrey themself.

He glances over his shoulder towards the bathroom. What's taking them so long? They're probably jerking off, a traitorous part of his brain supplies. Oh, god, he doesn't wanna think about that!

But of course, his brain doesn't listen to what he wants. Suddenly, his ears are straining to listen for any suspicious noises, mentally conjuring up glimpses of what Benrey might look like. There's this gross fascination to be found in thinking of what they must be up to—perhaps they'd plopped down onto the toilet lid, legs splayed out wide, face flushed and breaths coming in hard pants as they jerk themself to completion.

It's only when Gordon feels himself instinctively reaching for the hardness between his legs that he puts a stop to these thoughts. Nope! There's morbid curiosity and then there's this, which is sick and wrong, because Benrey is a gross and weird dude that Gordon has NO interest in whatsoever. The only reason he's thinking shit like this is because he's horny and desperate, having gone through far too long of a dry spell thanks to the catastrophe that was the Resonance Cascade, not to mention all the work he found himself constantly swamped in even before then. That's the only reason.

It takes a good, long while, but with the help of some meditative breathing his thoughts eventually start to drift, growing progressively less coherent until sleep finally tugs him under.

Chapter Text

Upon returning to the room, Benrey discovers Gordon fast asleep in his bed, a confusing mixture of disappointment and relief washing over them. They won't have to look him in the eye and make up any lies about what they were just doing, but they also won't get to hang out with him until he wakes up tomorrow. That puts a damper on their plans to play some games with him.

Shrugging it off, Benrey heads down to the van to pick up some stuff. Sitting on the back bench, they open the boxes for the two Switches with their claws, applying the skins and tucking them into their respective cases along with all their games.

Once that's done they head back inside, putting the bag Gordon left on the remaining bed onto the floor for later. Turning off the overhead light, Benrey sets Gordon's Switch case down on the table by his bed before climbing into theirs and getting started playing Breath of the Wild. They could probably blast it full volume without disturbing Gordon, but they keep it halfway instead.

At the same time, they keep an eye out on their minimap—no threats, none closing in. This seems to be a pretty good spot, since no hostile aliens seem terribly interested in invading it.

Every now and then, they pause to watch Gordon sleep, as well, lying parallel to him on their own bed and imagining what it would be like to sleep next to him, growing slightly dizzy at the mere thought of it. What would it be like, to wake up with his arms around them, keeping them tucked snugly against his chest, where they can feel it expand into them as he breathes? Their toes curl, breaths growing shallow as they picture it, how warm it would be and how complete it would make them feel, body tingling as they curl into a tight ball.

Humming some warm pink bubbles, they get back to their game, laying on their front with their boots off to display their white and black striped socks. Maybe in the morning they'll have time to play something together.

- ♡ -

The first thing Gordon notices as he wakes up is an oddly familiar noise, one that brings to mind a sense of exploration and adventure. But cracking his eyes open provides no context to the source of the noise, the room around him fuzzy and unfamiliar. On the bed next to him is the vague figure of a person, and it's not until he puts his glasses back on that he's able to take in the sight of Benrey, still in their emo getup, tapping away at buttons on a Switch. That's when it clicks. The sound he heard is the one that plays when you open the map in Breath of the Wild. A lovely musical cue he's heard a thousand times before. No wonder it sounded so familiar to him.

The second thing he notices is how hungry he is. An embarrassingly loud noise emanates from his stomach as he sits up in bed, stretching out his arms behind his head. Several pairs of glowing yellow eyes ogle him as his back arches and his arms flex.

"What time is it?" he inquires, voice hoarse from sleep and all the yelling he's done over the past few days.

"9:23am," Benrey says.

Oddly specific, but okay. He has no reason not to believe them, rolling out of bed with a weary sigh. It's good that he hadn't slept any longer. That means that they can get an early start. Though, there is a part of him that begs for more rest, to stay in this place where he's got hot water and a bed. Rest up, regain his strength. But he doesn't have that kind of time. Their supplies are limited and are only going to continue to get more limited over time, as perishables rot and things get looted by other survivors or destroyed by aliens.

Tracking down one of the bags he had brought with him yesterday, Gordon spends a moment rifling through it, eventually unearthing a couple of cereal bars and an energy drink. He really shouldn't indulge in more caffeine since it fucks with both his ADHD and his anxiety, but unfortunately, having lived nearly nothing but soda for a week has made withdrawal symptoms start to rear their ugly head.

Sitting back on the bed, Gordon devours three cereal bars and chugs half the energy drink before he remembers to offer Benrey some. He doesn't know if they need to eat and drink, they certainly participated in it at Black Mesa, but that doesn't mean anything. Either way, sharing could earn him some coins.

"You want one?" he asks, holding out a bar for them chosen at random, since he doesn't know Benrey's preferences. Their reaction to his offer is small, staring down at the prefered treat with a vacant look. The lack of enthusiasm in the way they lazily reach out to accept it gets on Gordon's nerves a little, but he holds back on showing it.

"Thanks," they mumble, tearing the package open with their teeth and loudly sniffing it, nose twitching like some kind of rabbit. Once it's passed their scent check or whatever it is they're doing, they start taking huge bites of the thing, devouring it quickly.

Watching Benrey eat awakens a morbid curiosity in Gordon. Their teeth are like knives, and when they sink into something it's like watching it get sliced up as opposed to crushed between human teeth. Unfortunately, watching them chew reminds him of how they'd torn into that headcrab the day before, forcing him to avert his eyes to rid himself of the memory.

"We should get going," he mutters.

Without looking up, Benrey saves their game and turns the Switch off, putting it away and tucking the case into the pocket of their hoodie. Getting to their feet, they stretch out their limbs, loudly popping joints as they do so. Once done they step back into their shoes and sling their backpack over their shoulders.

While they're busy doing that, Gordon tracks down some clothes that are better suited for travel. Why Benrey has only picked out ripped jeans for him is anyone's guess. At least they're the right size, if a little tighter than he's used to. Pulling on a t-shirt and picking out a pair of socks, he sits down on the edge of the bed, getting to work putting on his new pair of boots. They're sturdy things, good quality. Will probably hurt like a motherfucker until he's worn them in.

He glances at the HEV suit piled in the corner. Part of him wants to leave it here, to be rid of these remnants of the hell that was Black Mesa. Unfortunately, this thing provides invaluable protection even without the helmet, and in a situation like this, he's bound to need it.

Now dressed, Gordon stands, looking over the room as he runs through what other things they might need. That's when his eyes fall on the bed. 

"Help me grab this," he tells Benrey, stepping over to his bed. He struggles to roll it up together with the beddings, failing miserably. "We'll put it in the back of the trunk for when we have to camp outside for the night."

"Aww," Benrey condescendingly cooes, stepping forward to pat Gordon on the head like he's a small child, causing him to bristle in response. "Baby need some help? Need the big st-wong Benrey to help you out? That's okay friend. Three coins and I'll do it for you."

"Three coins?!" Gordon exclaims. "To help me move a mattress? You cleaned this whole place of aliens for five yesterday! You know what, nevermind. I'll do it myself."

With a grunt of exertion, Gordon body checks the mattress, struggling to make it behave, while Benrey just shrugs and flops down on the other mattress, lounging their arms folded behind their head. "Have it your way, friend…" they say, popping their lips as they stare up at the ceiling.

Eventually, Gordon is forced to give up on making this a one way trip, and he strips off the beddings before finally managing to roll the foam mattress up into a form that he can carry. The struggle has left him red in the face, strands of hair breaking free of his ponytail to hang in his eyes. He tries to blow the stray curls out of his face as he shuffles towards the door, but the door blocks his path, and Benrey makes no move to get up and help, instead lazing about playing on their Switch. To open it himself would require him to set the mattress down, which would require him to roll it up again, and that's just way more effort than he wants right now.

With a frustrated grunt, he casts a glance at Benrey from over his shoulder. "Can you at least help me open the door?" He only hesitates for a fraction of a section this time before adding. "Please?"

With a tilt of their head, Benrey hums, considering their response. "One coin," they blandly respond, not even bothering to look up from their game. "Because you were so polite."

Of course Benrey can't even do this one favor for him! Gordon grinds his teeth to hold back the insult on the tip of his tongue. One coin isn't too bad, though, he can earn that back easily. With how Benrey had reacted to the hug, Gordon has some ideas on how to use more casual touching to rack up a fortune. If he gets desperate enough, a kiss on the cheek will probably get him anything he wants.

If it were anyone else, Gordon might have felt bad about using someone's attraction towards him for his own gain. But this is Benrey! They're just horny for him, or his feet to be more exact. It's not like they actually care about him, if they're even capable of such feelings to begin with. So, no, he won't feel bad about gaming the system they put in place. 

"Fine! I'll accept the transaction."

A mischievous grin tugs at Benrey's lips, swiftly setting their Switch aside and teleporting to the door to make a big show of opening it. "There you go, sirrrrrr," they say, standing out of the way as Gordon maneuvers the mattress through the door and hurries down the stairwell.

When he finally gets the mattress down to the car, he has to put it down anyway to get the back doors open. His efforts pay off, though, as he fits it snugly into the trunk, where it creates a cute little space for rest. The sight fills him with a momentary sense of optimism. Yeah, this is good. Much better than trying to sleep in the front or back seats, which would have been killer on his back and neck.

Pleased with his handiwork and ingenuity, he heads back upstairs for the rest of their supplies.

- ♡ -

After Gordon steps through with the mattress, Benrey wanders back in, putting their Switch away and tucking it into their backpack, which gets slung over their shoulders. That's when they spot Gordon's Switch, resting on the table beside his bed. He must not have noticed it, they muse. Snatching it up, they head downstairs, passing by Gordon who is clearly too busy to be interrupted right now.

That leaves them alone with the van. Curious, Benrey clips inside the trunk, looking over the mattress spread out across the floor. It's beyond minimalist, being a clean van with an undressed foam mattress. Tossing their backpack into the backseat, Benrey flops down in the middle of the bed, rolling around like a cat trying to spread its scent.  Once they've sufficiently marked their territory in this way, they stretch out their limbs, perking up when they hear Gordon coming back downstairs.

Stepping back out, they stand beside the van and watch Gordon as he returns looking a little fresher and more put together than before.

"Hey," Gordon greets as he passes by, setting the bedding in the trunk before depositing everything else in the backseat. Benrey watches him quickly spread out the sheets and pillows, putting minimal effort in just to get it done. Once he's finished, he steps back, shutting the trunk doors and glancing Benrey's way with a smile. "You ready to go, bud?"

Their lips part to speak when their mind gets snagged on the nickname—Bud. Gordon has never called them that, ever. He calls them "anomaly" and "asshole". This, this is the Tommy treatment they were looking for, smiles and laughs and nicknames. Even if it's not their favorite thing to be called it's still a sign of affection.

"Yeah," Benrey says, a little starry-eyed, blinking rapidly to force themself back down to earth. "Oh, wait. You forgot this."

They hold out the Switch case for Gordon like it's a love letter, causing him to stop in his tracks, brilliant emerald eyes glancing between Benrey and the case in their hands. It's a fancier one, with netting to hold down the accessories like the charger, and slots for over thirty different games, though Benrey hadn't picked enough to fill every slot. They're not much of a Nintendo fan usually, but it felt like a better choice than digging up the old Sony handhelds.

"It's my gift," they explain, a simpering feeling overtaking them. "For you. Got it set up all neat, can't forget."

There's a lot of reactions they expect from Gordon right now. A quick, whoa, for me? Thanks, Benrey, or better yet, thanks, bud. And as he takes it from their hands, their fingers will brush, sending jolts of electricity up Benrey's arms. At the very least, he could tell them to set it with his things if he doesn't want to take it himself right now, because he's too busy or something, that's fine! They get it!

But none of those things happen, and they're left hanging for a moment before Gordon starts to speak. "Yeah…" he drawls, his voice devoid of all enthusiasm. Benrey's nonexistent heart starts to sink. "Thanks, but I'd rather save my coins for actual survival things. How many do I have right now, by the way?"

A beat passes. Neither of them move, as Benrey's blood turns to ice, a frown creasing their thick brows. Coins? He thinks this is about coins? Why does everything have to be about coins with him? Bare minimum, this would earn him coins, secret little coins for making their heart flutter with joy. Is it really so hard to believe they'd give him a gift without strings attached? Why does he have to go assuming the worst of them?

…Does Gordon even like them?

Tucking the case back into their jacket pocket, they avert their gaze, glaring down at the cracked and dirtied pavement at their feet. "Fine. Whatever. Let's just go already," they say, pouting as they climb into the passenger's seat and completely ignoring Gordon's question. Maybe he doesn't deserve to know, if he's gonna be such a jerk about it.

If not for the fact they're his guide, they'd be climbing into the bench in the back and ignoring him for a few hours, at least. Cozy up with some of the bedding Gordon dragged out, lay down, watch the sky pass by outside every now and then. Simple pleasures.

Instead, they get their own Switch out and return to playing Breath of the Wild in a heavily reclined seat with their feet kicked up on the dashboard. If Gordon has a problem with that, well, tough shit. They're not happy with him right now, to say the least.

When he hops into the driver's seat, he's looking awfully pleased with himself for some reason. Is this funny? Does he think it's funny that he gets to bully them all the time? Get their hopes up acting all sweet, calling them nice things, making them think they're actually becoming friends again. For a laugh.

As they get back up on the freeway again, Gordon starts fiddling with the radio, and they fervently ignore him, like they don't care about him or what he's up to or how nice his hands are because they DON'T care. Unfortunately for him, the radio is nothing but static broken up by pre-recorded emergency broadcasts, and he has to give up on filling the silence with a nice backing track.

The fact that Gordon hasn't tried to apologize and is instead searching for other things to fill the void is really getting on Benrey's nerves. The game is getting really hard to enjoy and focus on when they're dealing with so much anger stewing beneath the surface. It hurts, okay, and Gordon doesn't even care! What kind of friend is he? Benrey knows he's a jerk, that Tommy flocked to him because of his attitude, but there's being a loudmouthed, moody person and then there's this. They were just trying to do something nice and he couldn't even see that.

After a while, their temper starts to simmer, soothed by the mechanics of the battle leading up to Vah Ruta with all the gliding across the water and landing precise, slow motion shots with a bow. There's something a lot more satisfying about a bow as they're quickly finding. Maybe they should have given Zelda more of a shot before, Tommy used to try and get them to play it but the ones Benrey remembers were jank city. Twilight Princess wasn't so bad, though, and Majora's Mask had them a little obsessed after they watched Tommy beat it, but…

"How far have you gotten?"

The sound of Gordon's voice draws them out of their ponderings, right as Link in his dyed-red Zora armor—it's gayer that way, whatever—lands inside the massive automaton. Instantly Benrey's anger reignites, along with the hurt, and a whole miasma of other complicated feelings they don't want to sort through right now.

"Like you care," Benrey snaps, turning the Switch so Gordon will have a harder time seeing it, leaning against the door in the process. The bitterness in their voice ramps up as they mock. "One coin and maybe I'll tell you. Or is that too much for you?"

"Yes, actually, it is too much," Gordon retorts, anger surging in his tone, gripping the steering wheel tighter as Benrey hums orange, letting their feelings out in a healthy manner. "I'd rather keep that coin for when I need help not get my fucking face eaten by a headcrab. Or maybe that's what you want, huh? For me to spend all my coins on Switches and having a fucking conversation with you, so that the next time I get ambushed you can stand over me and laugh AGAIN!"

With a bit more force than necessary, Benrey shuts off their console, jams it back into the case, and shoves it into their pocket. Pulling the seat back up, they curl their legs close to their body, arms wrapped around their calves as they lean fully against the door. A fiery orange and red floods out of their mouth, swiftly left behind as the car keeps moving. A fight isn't what they wanted, but they knew it was what they were going to get.

"Whatever," they sigh, staring out the window and leaving none of their eyes focused on Gordon. "Can't handle getting pranked, gotta be mad about it forever. Raging about coins that are stupid easy to get if you weren't such a fucking baby about it. Ten point hug, THREE point favor, basic math, ten way bigger than three! But I guess you hate to hug me, just like you hate me—" Saying this out loud has rose red sweet voice spilling out of their open mouth.

"Prank? PRANK?!" Gordon furiously exclaims. "You think getting my fucking arm cut off is a fucking PRANK?! I almost DIED! I—you don't even care do you?! This is all a fucking game to you. I'm just another one of your toys! Acting like you actually care, you're not even capable of fucking caring."

"Man, you don't know anything!" Benrey snaps. "We used to be such good friends, Now you don't even wanna hug me. Can't find anything nice to say, don't understand how this works, soooo easy don't even need a guide but you're messing it all up. Because of… dumb pranks, can't trust me, don't want my gift, FOR YOU, not COINS."

Benrey shoves out of their seat, climbing into the backseat where they pause to call back. "Turn left at this next exit, by the way. That's the LAST ONE you get for free. Don't deserve my charity…"

"I don't want your fucking charity!" Gordon calls after them, their teeth grit as they whip around and start climbing back into the trunk. "I don't need your help at all! I can—you can go to hell for all I care…"

That last part is muttered as Benrey vanishes into the trunk, where they flop down on the mattress, bundling up and rolling around in the sheets until they're thoroughly tangled. Once that's out of the way, they snatch up a pillow, pressing it down over the top of their head.

The longer they're left alone as Gordon continues driving, the worse Benrey feels. That nagging voice in the back of their head is screaming now, screaming at them that the coins were a bad idea, that Gordon would just use Benrey's ingenious McGuffin to hurt them. It was supposed to make them get along, and sneak in some hugs while they were at it. Maybe make him spoil them for fun, but he can't even grit his teeth and bare it long enough to do that. Like the thought never crossed his mind.

This is just like the boss fight. That was supposed to be fun, they gave him a chance to back out of it—and it hadn't worked. Benrey had stopped trying then, and… maybe they should stop trying now, too. It's not like being nice is ever going to work. Why had they ever thought any differently? Gordon dumped them a while ago, didn't he. And now they're the idiot.

The urge to teleport to the cabin and cling to Tommy is so strong. He'd appreciate a nice gift like a Nintendo Switch and a bunch of free games in a cute little case. Should've gotten the yellow one instead.

But. The thought of leaving Gordon behind makes them feel terrible. They hate his guts right now but they know, they're stuck here, and if he just behaves for a little bit they'll take him back in an instant. Because that's the kind of moron they are.

- ♡ -

Ignoring the tantrum throwing alien in the background, Gordon keeps driving until he gets to the exit, turning left as instructed. According to the road signs, there's still a while until he needs more directions. This gives him the perfect opportunity to stew in his anger, going over the argument in his head to try and justify his actions.

What's Benrey talking about, anyway? Friendship? They pulled that same shit in the boss fight as well, claiming all this deranged shit about playing in the mud and sand together—what does that even mean?! The two of them have never even MET before their fateful encounter at Black Mesa. They can't possibly be so delusional as to believe the two of them had become friends during all the bullshit that happened back there. All they did was yell at each other! Or rather, Gordon yelled at Benrey while they acted like a little shit and sold him out to the fucking soldiers. They're just trying to manipulate him, like they always do.

Eventually, the van arrives at a split in the road, and Gordon slows to a stop, eyes flicking between the two paths. He could chance it… but the risk is too high. With a sigh, he realizes that the only way he's getting to where he needs to go is to patch things up with Benrey—or at least make them think everything is fine, so they'll give him some directions.

Putting the van into park by the roadside, Gordon steps out, feeling the mild April air blow past his skin. He pauses to take some deep breaths, closing his eyes to envision the anger flowing out of him with each breath. The exercise works to calm him down enough to approach handling Benrey. All he has to do is play nice, fake an apology, and get back on the road. Easy.

Rounding the van, he knocks on the back doors before opening them and climbing inside, where he spots Benrey in a blanket burrito on the mattress, pillow pressed over their head like a petulant child. Holding back a sigh, Gordon crawls over to sit beside the bed, reaching forward to poke the burrito.

"Hey. You in there?" he gently asks, adopting the kind of voice he'd use to approach a pouty Joshua.

"Go away," the burrito groans, shuffling to get away from Gordon's hand.

Of course they aren't willing to make this easy. Not that making up after a fight is ever easy. Though Gordon doesn't remember ever making up with Benrey; rather, they keep going at it until they hit a stalemate. Is it even worth it to try? Is Benrey capable of understanding what they did wrong?

That gets him thinking. There's so much Benrey doesn't seem to understand. They called him getting his arm cut off a prank, and they don't seem to understand that turning giant and hunting him over an alien landscape scared the everloving fuck out of him. Is that because they're not human, or because they seemingly grew up sheltered back in Black Mesa's labs?

This would be so much easier if Tommy were here. The man always seems to know what to do, and he knows Benrey much better than Gordon does. Gordon wonders, what would Tommy do in this situation? He'd probably spout something about conflict resolution that he'd read in a book.

Heaving a deep sigh, Gordon decides he's too tired to try and bullshit his way through this. Honesty it is. 

"I wish I could, man, but unfortunately I'm stuck with you," he starts, as Benrey presses the pillow down tighter over their head. "And you don't seem to want to leave, either. I dunno why. You don't need a car to get around. Why even bother with me? Is it that fun to torment me?" That last part comes out more venomous than intended, but he genuinely wants to know. What is their goal in this? What do they want with him?

"Uh maybe it's because I hate you," Benrey spits, venom dripping off every word. "Mean to me, mean to EVERYONE, and I wasn't doing anything wrong. Didn't have your dumb passport with you so you took it out on me. Sor-ry you're so stupid you can't follow ONE rule.

So we got revenge with a dumb prank, WE, by the way, love to forget, BUBBY'S idea too. But nooo, wahhh, dumb old dude in the tube so sad. Forgive him but you don't forgive me. Why not? 'Cuz it took a few days for your arm grow back? My WHOLE BODY had to grow back 'cuz of you. 'Cuz you sent my best friend, NOT YOU, BY THE WAY, to kill me, when I wasn't gonna do ANYTHING to you. I ask for hug, I ask for kiss, you put bullet in my face. All you want is for me to be your big bad so I was! I did that for you! Don't want my friendship, though, just… punching bag. Not like anyone could ever like me anyway. Big sca-wy alien. What'll they do next."

Gordon is shaking with rage. Every word out of Benrey's mouth confirms his suspicions about them. Finally, the pretense is dropped—they hate him, big surprise, of course they fucking hate him. Their every action has made that obvious from the start. And they got his arm cut off because he didn't have his fucking passport?! They're far crueler than he thought, if they believed not knowing about a stupid company policy meant he deserved dismemberment.

They are right about one thing though. They are a punching bag, and he's about to drag them off the mattress to prove this to them when they move again, dragging the pillow off their head to wrap their arms around it, burying their face in the fabric.

"Maybe… should watch YOU," Benrey bites, body curling tighter around the pillow, claws poking little holes into the fabric. "Trigger-happy, big loud Scaryman. Everyone's scared of you. Not me though. That's what they say about you, everyone's saying it, that's why they put you on dumb crystal push cart. They all expected you to die. Wow, how's that feel? To know everyone HATES you and wants you to die? Couldn't be me," their tone is loaded with sarcasm as they say this, and Gordon flinches, their words hurting more than any punch ever could.

The doubt has been there a long time. Day after day, it's always Gordon who gets the short end of the stick. Getting chosen for the test, getting attacked by the soldiers while everyone else got to watch, getting left behind to die with no clue how to get back.

Looking back, it's all so clear to him. All this time, everyone has only ever tried to get rid of him. Even Tommy had abandoned him, running off to his cabin and leaving Gordon to fend for himself. The only one who's ever stuck by his side is the creature that hates him enough to want to watch him suffer.

Benrey isn't leading him towards the safe house. He's a mouse, stuck between the cat's paws, to be played with until it gets tired of him, or decides to sink its teeth into his neck and kill him.

"You…" The words die on his lips, anger replaced by cold despair. Is Joshua even alive, or was that just another cruel joke? Not that Gordon will ever see him again, Benrey—no, all of them had made sure of that. He's completely, totally alone in a ruined world with only a demon sent to torment him for company. 

A strangled gasp escapes him as he scrambles backwards, suddenly aware of the grave danger he's in. The beast lying beneath the covers is far more powerful than Gordon could ever hope to comprehend, and he's gone poking the hornet's nest all morning. What'll they do, as punishment, as retribution? Is this it, has he rung his own death knell? There's no doubt about it. Benrey is going to kill him, one way or another they will finish the job. He needs to get out, escape far, far away where they'll never find him. It's that or die on his own terms, and he isn't that desperate… yet.

The backdoor to the van isn't closed, and Gordon falls out of it in his hurry to get out, catching himself on the pavement before shoving back to his feet. In every direction is nothing but scrublands, stretching across the highway as far as eyes can see, nowhere to hide. So he picks a direction and runs.

- ♡ -

Turning their head at the sound of movement, Benrey directs their cold gaze Gordon's way, blinking through tears as they try to take in his expression. They expected a lot of things—remorse being the one they wanted. Listen to how much he's hurt them, feel a bad maybe.

What they don't expect is that look of fear in his eyes, primal, like his expression back on Xen, finding Benrey waiting in the boss chamber. Where they took out the real final boss, no thanks for that. It was fun, he'd been a dick to all of them the whole time and now Benrey could use their power to spook him.

They didn't want to spook him right now, though.

Their eyes follow him as he scrambles out of the van, leaving the doors open as he breaks into a dead sprint. Frowning, Benrey sniffles as their tears begin to slow, confused more than anything. On their minimap they can see him running in a random direction. They wonder what it is he thinks he's accomplishing. Doesn't he know they can track him? Not that they want to go after him. Let him piss himself out of some misplaced fear, whatever it is that's going through his head. He's got it coming. It's not their—

Wait. Benrey stiffens, bringing the minimap back up. It's a clear stretch of land for quite awhile where Gordon's headed—and there's a cluster of red blips on the map in basically every direction. One of them concerns Benrey, because it's alone. Which, from the behavior they've observed from headcrabs and their zombies, is pretty unusual. The military doesn't travel alone either, nor do those… vonnyguts or whatever Tommy called them. Which leaves a short list of things it could be, all of which Benrey does NOT like.

Wiping the tears from their face with the pillow, Benrey jumps up, darting out of the van—closing the doors, though, they're not fucking rude unlike someone—and vaulting over the railing on the side of the highway, taking off after Gordon at high speeds.

It doesn't take long for him to appear in the distance. They watch him trip, regaining his balance just to nearly fall to his knees nearly a second later, running like a victim in a horror movie. The closer Benrey gets to catching up to him, the more instinct starts taking the place of rational thought in their mind, adrenaline coursing through their veins and sharpening their senses to a fine point. But even if Gordon makes for a tantalizing prey—frightened, clumsy, unaware of his surroundings and the danger he's leading himself into—he's not their target.

A roar echoes over the scrublands, deafening in comparison to the last time they'd heard it, trapped in the underbelly of Black Mesa's underground complex. The ground shakes and Gordon stumbles to his knees, too slow to get up as the beast steps out from behind a rock formation nearby, massive enough to blot out the sun. A Black Mesa Golem Ape.

The second their real target comes into view, Benrey's form distorts and grows as bones snap and reshape themselves, eyes forming in a variety of sizes all over their body. To call them human at this point would be laughable, their shape nowhere within the realm of humanity or any of Earth's creatures, pitch black and incomprehensible. Limbs, claws, teeth, and eyes moving, changing, multiplying, and disappearing like a kaleidoscope of horror. The eldritch mass moves in a sickly way, filling the air with the sound of bones snapping and an electronic warbling vaguely resembling a swarm of cicadas.

An arm shoots out, snatching up Gordon with a massive claw that covers his whole body; save for his head. Even like this, they still remember humans need to breathe. They keep him held close to their body, feeling him quake frightfully as hundreds of eyes keep watch over him while others focus on their target.

With another set of claws, Benrey grasps onto the Golem Ape, squeezing it in the process of lifting it up and smashing it to the ground as it spews flames from its pincers, melting the pitch-black flesh from Benrey's left arm. Annoyed, they bring the thing up to their gaping maw, rows of knife-like teeth tearing their pincers off and devouring them. Sinking a set of teeth into its head, Benrey growls, irritated by the hard outer shell that resists breaking beneath their teeth, their jaw applying an amount of force this pathetic creature could only dream of in order to crack it open.

The taste is some of the worst Benrey's ever encountered, with very little meat to be found beneath the armor. After tearing its head clean off its body, they chomp down hard enough to destroy the brain before spitting it out and tossing its lifeless body aside, kicking up dust where its massive body hits the dry, cracked earth.

Despite the Golem Ape being their primary concern, it's not the only one—not far off, they can spot a horde of headcrabs and their zombies, attracted to the noise and the human whose scent they can catch in the midst of it all. Benrey squashes them like a line of ants, sprouting more arms, more teeth, more until everything is gone, squashed, burnt to ash, consumed.

Except Gordon.

In the wreckage of their battle, Benrey turns their attention back to the human in their grasp, shifting every facial feature to face him. Laying Gordon down against the open palm of their hand, they scan over him with hundreds of eyes, checking for damage. His body quakes, curled up into a ball with his hands over his head, sweat sticking his hair to his flushed skin, breaths coming hard and fast as tears overflow from his eyes, wide, wild, staring up at them in fear. No injuries as far as they can see, even his glasses remained uncracked.

They blink, watching curiously as Gordon roughly wipes at his eyes, correcting his glasses before beginning to stand on shaky legs that buckle and send him collapsing onto his knees.

"Do it then!" the human shouts. "Kill me! At least do me the courtesy to make it quick. I won't beg for mercy, if that's what you're waiting for."

All at once, the multitude of eyes swarming Benrey's body close and cease to be, replaced by two in the center of their "face", which slowly forms the shape of their nose, lips, a jaw, and even their ears, skin blackened and gaunt like the charred flesh of a corpse. They blink slowly at the human in their grasp, finding it so novel how tiny and defenseless he is. Before, they felt so small in his embrace, curled up against his chest and dreaming of being pinned down and taken by him. The idea is laughable in their current state. A much different urge overtakes them, the desire to protect but also, the desire to possess, to claim him as their own. As theirs.

Mine.

They'll keep him safe from harm, safe from his own reckless nature, soothed by their song and their touch like he should be. It all sounds perfect, nothing could ever be better. Leaning their face closer to him, Benrey hesitates before his frightened, trembling figure before pursing their lips and kissing the top of his head.

As they pull back to watch him, taking in his stunned, wild eyes, another claw reaches up, cradling him with one hand under the other as a blunt, vaguely-human shaped thumb prods at him before finding the proper force and speed to gently, carefully, rub against his cheek in a soothing gesture. He's like a doll to them now—one they'll take special care of, like a beloved pet, instead of one they might think to melt or crush for fun.

"What are you—" Gordon's voice cuts off as they pull their hands up to their face, gently nuzzling him with their cheek that feels more like a children's gel toy than flesh, dry but smooth and malleable. A low purr rumbles up from their chest, pleased to see their human safe but not especially pleased by the fear radiating off of him in waves. That won't do.

"Why? Why are you doing… thiiiisss… " Benrey's song hits him mid sentence, a deep, calming blue melody that seeps into his chest and spreads throughout his being. The effect is instant, his eyes glazing over as all the fear escapes him, leaving him a vacant, empty shell that sinks back down against Benrey's palm, where their thumb gently strokes over his hair and down his back.

Now everything is as it should be. Their human is safe, he isn't fighting them anymore. Instead he's allowing himself to be held and kept. If only he was like this while they were even smaller than him. But they've never seen him particularly relaxed outside their blue sweet voice spells.

They watch his hand lift, weakly reaching for their nose where his tiny hand barely grazes them before it lowers back down. "Better…" he mumbles, his words barely audible, lips moving in small increments. "…Before…"

His words sink slowly into their mind. Before? Pausing the motion of their thumb, Benrey tilts their head in question, but Gordon's too far gone to clarify his meaning. What he needs now is somewhere to lie down. Looking around, they can't find a single spot that's good enough to nest in, which is when Gordon's words start to nag at them again. Before, where were they before this? There was a nes—a bed. A foam mattress, stashed in the back of the van.

Quickly going over the map in their mind, they hold Gordon close to their chest where he won't be disturbed as they start to traverse the long stretch of terrain back to the highway, the journey over quickly thanks to their massive size and more quadrupedal nature. They keep several eyes on Gordon at all times, ensuring he doesn't start to freak out again, or roll over and fall to his doom.

Once they reach the highway, Benrey begins to shrink to a smaller size upon the realization that they won't be able to get back on without their girth collapsing the concrete roads. They can't reach inside the van when their hand is bigger than the entire vehicle, either.

Though still massive in comparison to their usual form, they're much more human than they were only a few minutes ago, now several feet taller than Gordon as opposed to a head shorter. Their dark outer shell recedes, revealing their pale complexion and the clothes they were wearing before, though their body is littered with eyes and their left arm is skeletal from the elbow downwards, most of which is covered by their sleeve.

Carrying Gordon bridal style, Benrey uses a second pair of arms below him to open and close the van's back doors. Climbing inside, they lay him down on the mattress, having to duck their head a lot more than they're used to just to fit inside. The discomfort has them shrinking further, superfluous eyes closing to leave them with more of a focus on Gordon. As Benrey lays down next to him, even more things start nagging at them, and they get rid of the additional arms as well, making themself even smaller until they're the proper height in comparison to him. This all helps towards them feeling more normal again.

Though they're not quite there. They watch Gordon with at least twenty eyes on their face and neck but it's better—oh. That's what he meant, isn't it? They try not to think too deeply about that, swimming in the weird headspace their transformation has left them in for a bit longer instead. The one where they feel this deep sense of satisfaction and love for the human—for Gordon, their Gordon. Without thinking they reach out and tenderly stroke his cheek with their fingers, wary of their claws, not wanting to hurt him, their skeletal hand tucked against their chest.

That sense of possessiveness is still there; they can't quite seem to kick it. The feral instincts swimming around in their mind make it easy to forget things like boundaries and the complexities of human relationships. Right now all they see is a man that's very precious to them, and it feels like their responsibility to keep him happy and feeling safe, as his guardian and caretaker.

- ♡ -

Gordon is drifting somewhere between sleep and consciousness, floating and falling at the same time. Thoughts, half formed and incoherent, swirl around his mind. One word seems to repeat over and over again: Benrey, Benrey, Benrey. What is it about them that's important? Everytime he feels like he can grasp it, the meaning slips through his fingers. All he knows is that they are important, not why.

Something touches him, softly, gently, and he leans into it. It feels… nice, to be touched so tenderly. But, who…?

His eyes flutter open, greeted by a myriad of faintly glowing yellow ones. The sight has a surge of panic coursing through him, alarms blaring in the back of his head, but it's all shrouded in a blue mist, keeping him calm, sedated. Benrey is here, they're here and they're stroking his cheeks, their every eye focused on him. Why are they here? Why are they touching him so gently? They've never been gentle before, only cruel.

This thought pierces through the mist fogging over his mind, dragging terrible memories back to the surface of the pool his mind is swimming in. Benrey hates him, they hunted him, they should have killed him. And yet they hadn't. Instead, they brought him back, laid him here. Why? To prolong his suffering? To make him run again so they can hunt him?

Fear and despair seep through the blue, washing away the warmth settling over his body, yet he remains just as weak as before, powerless to do anything but lie here, allowing Benrey to continue stroking his face as bitter tears start falling from his eyes. 

"Why?" he asks, voice hardly more than a breath. "Why didn't you kill me?"

He doesn't get it! Despair laces through his body, yet he's too exhausted to move away from the hand that touches him with what he now understands is false gentleness. It's not a caress, it's the flat side of a knife, a promise of pain if he disobeys.

A collection of yellow eyes watch the tears fall down his cheeks, their hands stilling before pulling away to rest on the bed beside him. "Don't wanna," Benrey informs him, speaking in a low voice barely above a whisper. Leaning up on their elbows, they begin looking around for something. "You'd take too long to come back."

The tears continue to fall silently down Gordon's cheeks, staring up at the ceiling overhead with this cold despair, afraid he may never see the sky again so long as Benrey decides to keep him here. Distantly, he feels the mattress shift as Benrey sits up, grabbing the blanket and draping it over Gordon's body. He's so tired, he just wants to sleep, or for Benrey to finally end it all. Either way he'd get to rest.

Once he's tucked in, Benrey leans down and kisses his brow, sitting up to lean back against the bench. Reaching into their pocket, they pull out the case to Gordon's Switch and set it down flat in the middle of his chest, patting it twice with their skeletal hand before pulling back.

"Video games help me feel better," they explain. "Maybe when you're not such a sad sack we can… play. Know you're mad at me and stuff but… got Splatoon and, Mario Kart, Party. Or Animal Crossing if you're not, wanna compete. But you have to take it or I'll cry and it'll be embarrassing and hard to watch."

At the end of their soft-spoken ramble, they take out their own console, turning it on and lowering the volume to be barely audible. Soon enough, the soothing tones of Animal Crossing's soundtrack fills the air.

As they play, Gordon stares in disbelief. Is that really it? They're keeping him alive to… what, play video games? Is that all Gordon is now, someone to be player 2? He stares down at the little square on his chest, moving as if to accept it before pushing it away instead. If Benrey won't grant him rest, he'll have to take it into his own hands.

This isn't the first time the thought has crossed his mind. Even before the Resonance Cascade, he's thought about it, but he's never looked death in the eye quite as much as he did back then. So many times he could have merely… given up. Let himself fall into the abyss, lower his gun, let the aliens or soldiers take him out. But something kept him going, a fear of pain, a fear of death, a fear of never seeing Joshua again.

None of that matters now, though. He's felt pain, he's faced death, and if Joshua is still alive… it's safe to say he'll never see the kid again. Benrey won't let him.

A sense of peace falls over him now that his decision is made. Benrey might try to stop him, or they might not. It doesn't matter. Either way, they'll understand—Gordon isn't going to play their fucked up games anymore.

Crawling out of bed, it's quite simple to locate a handgun. It's one of the ones Benrey brought with them, tossed carelessly into a corner with the rest of them alongside a pile of ammo. As Benrey watches out of the corner of their eyes, he lifts it, moving back onto the mattress as he ensures the chamber is loaded, placing it on his knee once he's done. The tears have stopped falling, enveloped in a sense of tranquility, though not the kind brought on by Benrey's calming blue melody. This one is black and all encompassing, shrouding him like a velvet cape.

He doesn't have a note, no paper to jot down his final thoughts on. There's no need for one. His final thoughts will be dictated aloud instead, dedicated to Benrey. A final act of revenge, to make them fully understand what their actions have caused.

"I'm going to take this gun and blow my brains out," he explains, his voice low and surprisingly steady, the words coming easily to him. "And I won't come back. Humans don't come back, nor do we grow our arms out again. This," he lifts his right hand, showing off the scar. "Was a miracle The G-Man granted me. Now, I'm going to kill myself, and I'm going to leave you with nothing but my rotting corpse for company. Have fun tormenting me then. And if you ever see the Science Team again, tell them, good job on getting rid of the weakest link. I was a bit slow on the uptake but I got the message eventually. Goodbye, Benrey. If there's a hell I hope I won't see you there." 

With that out of the way, he raises the gun, pressing the muzzle to his temple.

- ♡ -

Playing a cute game with cartoon animals is more dissonant than Benrey is capable of understanding. It sucks that the world is like this now, but soon enough, it won't be anymore. They'll get to go to real beaches, with all their friends. Stay on a real island, meet an actual raccoon, learn what real cherries taste like instead of red sweet voice. Maybe Gordon would find that nice, maybe he'd stop being so uptight all the time, maybe they'd get along again.

It'll be fun to relax and play games together, Benrey thinks. Not just games like the one they're holding, but real ones, like volleyball or truth or dare. When Gordon isn't so worried about getting to the cabin, maybe they can paint his nails orange, or put his hair into a nice braid. They can lay in the grass and watch the clouds pass by while they talk about their thoughts and dreams.

These thoughts drift away from them as they catch Gordon moving around. They wonder what he's up to, putting the Switch away so they can watch him, instead. Maybe there's something amongst their piles of belongings in the backseat that Gordon wants or needs, humans do have a lot of needs after all. Might be the hungry time or the thirsty time, though he could have asked them to—no, he wouldn't. He thinks everything is for coins, and… after all the things they said to him earlier, he's probably never going to believe they just want to do things for him. He doesn't even have to play with them if he doesn't want to.

What they don't expect is Gordon returning with their handgun. He must be going out… does he need some space? That must be it. He's so fragile after all, couldn't handle seeing them on Xen, little pissbaby running from them in the halls of Black Mesa when they were just trying to scare him, not actually kill him or hurt him or whatever. It's what he wanted anyway, making them out to be big and bad, why be so upset when they're just doing what he expects?

As he starts speaking, Benrey frowns. Why would he do that? Does he want to start over? Where will he even spawn—

Something frigid worms its way into Benrey's chest, dread suffusing throughout their body as their focus zeros in on Gordon's words, on the gun in his hand, everything else fading away. Fear grips their heart in a vice grip, pounding against the confines of their chest as their hands begin to tremble. That's—That's not true? Right? Every scientist they killed always came back. Kill one guard and he'll be back in the next area. Death isn't permanent, that's a lie.

But then, why does it sound like Gordon's not lying?

They think back on the world they've been passing through, how devoid of human life it's been. Everybody's hiding, right? In shelters and bunkers, those exist, right? Just like Tommy and all the rest of their friends, they're… hiding.

Benrey's breaths grow shallow. What if they're not? What if all those people are…

No, no, no nonono—

In the blink of an eye, Benrey's thrown themself across the enclosed space of the trunk, pinning Gordon against the opposite wall, claws against his shoulder and skeletal hand wrapped around his wrist, keeping the gun directed away. Their eyes are wide with panic and fear, appearing borderline deranged with their mouth hanging open as they breathe fast and hard. Their form trembles, every joint in their body tense and tight, locked into place to prevent Gordon from doing anything permanent.

Is it permanent? Is he trying to scare them, because they scared him? If that's true, they'll accept it. They'll forgive him if he just says it's a lie, a prank.

"This joke sucks," Benrey snaps, voice wavering as their throat tightens and their eyes start to burn. The image of Gordon's corpse won't leave their mind, decaying, turning to dust and bone and never making another sound, another move, another dumb, wheezy laugh or lame joke or animated hand gesture. He'd never come back and they'd never find him. His blip on their map would just point to a pile of bones, forever. They don't want that! "Why are you saying these things?"

The defeated look on Gordon's face is too much to bear, too much to have to watch the way his expression crumples, eyes overflowing with tears. Those glassy emerald eyes look up towards them, shooting wide open as he takes in their expression, his teeth grit as he falls apart completely.

"Because it's true!" he wails, his every word like a dagger driven deeper into their heart. "You told me. You hate me, they all hate me! I have nothing left, nothing! My only hope was getting to the safehouse, to see my son again. But he isn't there, and I was never supposed to go there. I'm only alive because it's amusing to you, because I'm a toy. No different from your fucking video games. All you've ever done is play with me, ripping me up for your own amusement. I can't anymore. I'm broken, you broke me! At least let me die on my own terms and find yourself a new toy. You owe me that, at least."

As he rants, Benrey can feel the way his body deflates, going limp in their grasp, yet keeping a stiff hold on the gun. Watching him fall apart like this shatters what was left of their composure, face crumpling as tears flood down their cheeks. Their thoughts are a mess, nausea roiling in their stomach. Throughout it all is one prevailing thought: This is their fault. They pushed him to this point. It was never their intention, they thought it was all something they'd look back on and laugh at later!

The thought of losing Gordon, forever, makes them so fucking sick, so cold and anxious and afraid. They can't go on without him, especially not knowing it's their fault he's gone. It'll just confirm their suspicions, that they're a bad person just like Gordon said and they can never be anything else. A horrible monstrosity that forced their own best friend to do something so awful. They'd rather it was them, that Gordon would turn the gun on them and put them back in the void. They'll respawn and go a different direction, he can pretend they're gone forever. It'll hurt to never see him or Tommy or any of their other friends again, but they'll do it.

They squeeze Gordon a bit harder without realizing, brows furrowing as they exclaim. "It was a lie! I was trying to piss you off, I didn't think you'd start doing this crazy shit!" Choking on a sob, Benrey leans their head against Gordon's chest, tears falling onto his jeans. "I love you, Tommy loves you, we all love you. I was just—I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I didn't know. I wouldn't have done it if I knew, I'm sorry! I don't want you to break, please don't break."

Sniffling, they bury their face into Gordon's chest just to immediately pull back. How selfish can they be? He doesn't like them, he despises them. He doesn't want them touching him right now. "Sssorry, I'm sorry," they babble, staring up at him as his tears begin to slow, staring at them in shock. "Not a—a toy. A person. I can't—I can't let you—you gotta stay live. Tommy's waiting for you, he'll cry so hard every day all the time if something happens to you." And so will I, but Benrey doesn't say that because Gordon clearly doesn't care.

"All your friends, waiting, prob'ly gonna throw you a party. Your, your son…" What did Gordon say the kid's name was? "Jos, Joshua, he's there too. Got a cute little hat on, come on. Cute little baby and he's gonna cry all day if you don't come home." They have no idea how old he is, but the picture looked like an infant. "Just think about it, like… they're like, soft? Right? And make cute noises? And you can hold them? Think about that, and, cake, there's always cake at a party. Are you gonna miss that?"

Benrey's grip on Gordon's shoulder falls away, moving up and grabbing the gun instead, prying it from his fingers without much effort. Rearing back, they chuck it at the wall of the van, causing Gordon to jolt before it phases through and flies over the side of the highway, discarded. The anomalous sight holds Gordon's attention for a moment, breaths slowly growing more steady, and he turns back around with wide, watery eyes. Though it wasn't the only gun around, it was the only one nearby that Benrey knows of.

"I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be," Benrey continues, the force of their sobs picking up. "I keep trying but it's always wrong. Can't you just tell me? Tell me what to do. I'll do it, I'll do anything, except—except that."

It takes a long time before Gordon responds, his eyes flicking over Benrey in search of a lie, a trick, some blade hidden behind their back. But they've never been more genuine about anything in their life. They'll throw themself at his feet right now, take a knife and cut themself open, humiliate themself for his amusement, it doesn't matter. If it'll fix him, they won't hesitate.

"I…" Gordon starts, pausing to take a deep breath before continuing, with a much greater fervor. "I want you to tell me the truth, no bullshit, no coins, no lies! I need you to promise me you'll never lie to me again!"

Relief floods them as he makes them promise to something that would last, that would carry on into the future. They can't agree fast enough, making themself dizzy from the force of their fervent nodding paired with all the emotion that continues to overwhelm them. The hand they keep around his wrist shifts upwards, skeletal phalanges slipping between Gordon's fingers, feeling him shudder before they hastily pull it away. He doesn't like them, doesn't want to be touched by them, when will they stop acting so selfish?

Setting their hands down in their lap, Benrey hangs their head like a chastised child. "Okay," they say. "I promm—I promise. Not lying… won't lie again. Coins were dumb anyway."

Never did either of them any good. They just wanted a way to get him to be nice, to pretend they were friends for a while, to have an excuse to look after him in return. He'd never engage with them otherwise. All of that failed in the face of his lack of trust in them, the disgust he feels for them. If he did the same things they did to him, to them…

No, they wouldn't be mad. They'd roll up a sleeve and offer their right arm to him right now, refusing to ever reform it if it would make him happy. But that would probably have some unexpected results, make him mad or offend him or… something.

Despite what feels like some kind of resolution to their fight, Benrey can't stop crying, shoulders shaking as their tears slip down their cheeks and drip onto their pants. Even if they've avoided the Bad End to this conflict there's still so much more to make them absolutely miserable. For one, Gordon hates them with every fiber of his being, and they don't know how they're ever going to get over this heartbreak. They want to run away more than ever, but the thought of leaving Gordon alone to figure things out on his own hurts too much to consider.

It's selfish, anyway. They made him like this, so they should be here to do something about it. That thought, that they did this to him, is too much to bear. They've never felt like a greater piece of shit, pain lacing through their insides like piles upon piles of vines curling around inside their chest.

"Okay. Good," Gordon says. The tears flowing freely down their cheeks start to slow thanks to his words, taking in his softer tone and leaching off that energy. "Thank you."

Pulling their hoodie sleeves down over their knuckles, Benrey starts wiping at their face, bothered by how gross and messy they feel. Hopefully this won't happen again soon, because it's exhausting. It feels like a whole day has passed in the last hour or two.

For awhile, the van remains silent, apart from the sound Benrey's sniffling. They don't dare look up, afraid to witness what kind of expression might be on Gordon's face, instead facing the rough texture of his jeans, where drops of their tears have created a series of dark marks against the denim fabric.

"Benrey," Gordon starts. "What do you actually feel about me?"

Gordon's question catches them off guard. A whole torrent of thoughts swirl through their mind all at once; how could he not know, based on what they've just gotten done saying, the way they clinged to him during yesterday's hug, the way they protected him from the Golem Ape. But, of course he couldn't figure it out, not when he was so convinced they're the bane of his existence, a villain set out to ruin him. His hatred for them shines through in that simple question, and Benrey bites down on their flesh and blood thumb for a couple seconds to keep from crying again.

Breathing in very deeply, Benrey wipes their eyes, lifting their hood to cover their head and shield some of their face from view. It's a comforting feeling, making it easier to hide from Gordon's cold gaze—or, they assume that must be the way he's looking at them now. They're down to just their main two eyes now, and both are directed at the mattress between their knees.

"I love you," they profess. "You're… you were my best friend. Not anymore I guess."

"You—Why? How?!" Gordon exclaims. "We barely know each other! We've done nothing but fight and hurt each other from day one. You watched me get my arm cut off and laughed! I've killed you! Several times! How can you even say that you—" He pauses, a sour look falling over him as he shakes his head, gritting his teeth before continuing. "How can I be your best friend, huh? Do you even know what that term means?"

The harsh words are back, and Benrey visibly withers, curling in on themself. Talk about a hairpin trigger. Do they really deserve this? It's hard to accept all this fault and blame and Gordon's not making it any easier. Their lips part, but no sound comes out. Instead, there's a series of rose red sweet voice bubbles as their mind begins to wander.

It was so much easier when they were younger. They still remember it, the NASA hoodie and basketball shorts being the only thing that would fit them, when the humans were nice to them because they had a cute face and a head of soft, fuzzy curls. One day, they figured out there was more to the world than just Black Mesa and left to go see it, and that's when they met him.

And he doesn't remember, and he doesn't care, because it didn't matter to him like it mattered to them. The realization makes them even more ill, like they might actually start heaving, which is something they haven't done in a long time. Sweet voice, that is, they don't hold food inside them like humans do.

"I don't… I don't understand you," Benrey eventually starts. "I'm not human. I don't hurt." They stare down at their hands, raising the skeletal one up. "This'll grow back. But it's kinda funny? Skeletons are like a meme. Not like I care. Do you…"

Sighing, Benrey cards their skeletal fingers into their hair, wrapping tightly around the strands in a show of frustration. "Made a fucking oopsie. Thought it's like, friendly fire in Call of Duty. Cole Phelps ragdoll down the stairs. I didn't KNOW okay."

They cover the lower half of their face in both hands, fingers curled, staring off to one side. "You ever seen that one cartoon, unibrow, football shrine… like I like you and it's fun to bully you. You're cute when you get mad and it means you're paying attention to me. Like you said a lot of bad at me too but I thought we were just having fun, joking around, didn't think you actually hated me. And you laughed! What am I supposed to think."

Curling in on themself, Benrey resists the urge to sigh against that intense feeling of longing coiling around their ribcage. They really thought it was all a joke, and it's sickening to discover Gordon wanted them dead forever. Like a pest. A roach he wanted to squash under his boot and be done with.

Out of the corner of their eyes, they finally catch movement from Gordon in their periphery, as he drags a hand down his face, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses.

"Listen, Benrey, I…" Gordon starts, trailing off with a sigh. "Humans don't work like you. When we die it's over, we don't come back. Same thing with our limbs, if they're chopped off they're gone."

Lulled in by the gentleness in his tone, Benrey raises their head, finally catching sight of the exhaustion weighing down his features. He's never looked so pale, so tired. Red rings his bloodshot eyes, hair a frizzy mess barely contained by the band holding it back.

"I thought you wanted me dead, man," he continues. "You keep insulting me, calling me dumb and weak while I was fighting for my life. And I don't know if you've understood this or not, but I'm queer, I have an ex-husband. All those gay jokes, that's some homophobic bullshit and I don't wanna hear it anymore."

A bemused frown pulls at Benrey's face. "Gay jokes?" they quietly echo. They messed around a lot but they weren't trying to be home of phobic. The flirtations were all real—talking about his ability to suck cock was to get a rise out of him just like talking about his ass in the vents, but it's not like they were trying to be mean. They couldn't see his ass in that ugly orange suit but they bet he had a nice one. Just like they bet he's good at sucking cock, he just seems like the type.

But at least that confirms one thing for them—Gordon's not straight. Not that this information matters in the slightest, considering he's clearly not interested. But it feels less gross knowing they're not lusting after a modern day hypermasculine American man who loves, tits, or something.

"I get that no one seems to have taught you how we humans work or how to act around us, but that changes now," Gordon says, an edge of authority in his voice that Benrey might have found really arousing in a different context. Now… well, now it signals the return of life in his eyes, an energy that was almost snuffed out because of Benrey's stupidity.

Though could they really be blamed? No one had ever bothered explaining the consequences of their actions to them.

"Do you actually know where we're going?" Gordon asks. "Have you been giving me actual directions to the safe house, or was that just another 'joke'?"

Being accused of lying hurts, even if he isn't yelling it at them this time. The lack of trust feels truly awful, but they can't blame him. This is their fault. "Didn't lie, bro," Benrey assures him, speaking in their usual monotone despite the flood of emotions threatening to leak out. "Tommy's there already. Why didn't you put him on your minimap, huh? Tommy not good enough to be on your map?"

"What—I don't—I don't have a—"

The words can barely get out as, much to Benrey's stunned surprise, a fit of laughter overtakes Gordon, coming completely out of nowhere such that all Benrey can do is stare. The longer it goes on for, the more a smile starts to form on Benrey's face, lop-sided and awkward. It cuts through the tension and pain that's taken over their body like a nasty virus, lightening the mood as something affectionate and fond floods through them. It's going to be really hard to get over their feelings for him if he's gonna keep being this adorable, laughing in such an unguarded and honest way.

The urge to question Gordon's lack of a minimap comes and goes, brushing it off as some human thing—they don't want to interrupt his giggles just to get clarification, and it doesn't matter anyway. They feel so much better already, leeching his mood again, only with a more positive outcome.

As his fit of laughter passes, he flops onto the bed, lying wheezing and panting while Benrey curls up beside him, hastily rolling onto their back in a dire attempt to look a little less interested. Gordon knows how they feel about him now, but that doesn't mean he likes it, and they'd rather not bother him anymore. 

"I'm so fucking tired," he finally manages to say. "Are there any hostiles nearby or can I take a quick nap before we continue?"

"We're good," Benrey reports. "But. You know if there was anything I'd take care of it. No… coins transaction required. Even if it makes me feel weird to go sicko mode."

Gordon merely nods, a thoughtful look coming over his eyes that Benrey gazes openly at. With how much the silence begins to shroud them like a blanket, Benrey doesn't expect a response. Instead, they stare up at the ceiling overhead, trying to let themself drift, to feel normal again after such a harrowing experience.

The sound of Gordon's voice cuts through the silence. "Thank you, for saving me."

Stunned, Benrey turns back around, staring over at him. It's not often he thanks them for something. And at a time like this, when he's spent so much of today yelling at and spurning them, it comes as an added surprise.

"Both times," Gordon continues. "I… I appreciate it."

"…Of course, bro," Benrey responds, cheeks burning as they watch him roll over onto his side, where they can only see his back, draped in the gray of his t-shirt. There's the urge to tack on something like, Wow, kinda gay, you like me or sumthin'? but that's exactly what Gordon was talking about, isn't it?

With Gordon busy slumbering away, Benrey carefully gets up, clipping through the back bench to sit down there with their Switch. He probably doesn't want to wake up next to them—or see them ever again, for that matter. Sagging against the car door, they turn their Switch back on. The sight of this game just doesn't feel right anymore. Not to mention, their memory of starting it up is now tainted by the reminder of what Gordon had tried to do. They decide to start completely over from scratch, quickly getting drawn into the game world even as their mind wanders from time to time.

Where do they go from here? Obviously they continue on down their route to the cabin, wait until this apocalypse thing blows over, then… then. Maybe they could go live with Tommy. As for Gordon… maybe the next few weeks will inform them as to how their future will look, whether it'll be with them together as friends, or apart as perpetual enemies. They only hope the time they spend together is better than whatever today has been.

Sitting up, they glance back over the backrest, to where Gordon is slumbering below. They'd almost lost him, permanently. The thought is terrifying. After everything they did to protect him, he wanted to throw it all away, because… because of them, because they've been bad.

They have to make it up to him. Show him how good of a friend they can be, how kind and generous, and then maybe he'll believe in them. Maybe he'll never do… that again.

Chapter Text

Gordon's nap doesn't last long. A spike of adrenaline has him jerking awake with a choked gasp, body taut with tension as he slowly adjusts to his environment. This isn't new, even before Black Mesa his anxiety regularly woke him up. Now lying flat on his back, he does his best to slow his breathing while taking stock of the situation. He's in the back of the van, there's an apocalypse raging all around him, he almost did something drastic earlier, and Benrey is both clueless of human mortality, and has a crush on him. Yeah, that's about it.

Groaning into his hands, he eventually pushes himself back up, the blanket sliding down off his body. How did his life become such a mess? Should have brought your passport, a voice that sounds far too much like Benrey says in the back of his mind.

Regardless of what's happened, they need to get on the move again, reach the cabin without killing each other first. Taking some deep breaths, Gordon locates a bag with some food that's fallen under the backseat, munching on some breakfast bars and chugging a can of soda as he tries to come up with a game plan.

First, Benrey needs to tell him where they're going. He can't be reliant on their directions when something could end up happening to them, leaving him stranded waiting for them to return.

Second, Benrey needs to learn what is and isn't okay for humans so they don't end up accidentally killing him. Not only that, but Gordon needs to know about their powers, so he can take those into consideration when coming up with strategies. It should be easier to figure out now that they've promised to be honest. 

"Benrey," he calls out, pushing the blankets aside to give the two of them a nice, smooth space to sit down together. "Come back here for a bit. We're going to have a strategy meeting."

It doesn't take much time before the alien appears, climbing over the bench where they flop clumsily onto the bed. If they were human, Gordon might say that it looked painful.

"What's up gay-mers," Benrey says, resting their chin on their hands and swinging their legs like they're a couple of gossiping teens at a slumber party. Their joke puts a slight frown on Gordon's face. He supposes it's too much to expect them to drop the gay jokes so quickly, but as long as they don't take it too far, it won't be an issue.

"Right, you wanna learn how to interact with humans?" he asks. "I can teach you, since my survival apparently depends on it. But in return, I need a few things from you." There's a slight nod from Benrey before he continues, gesturing with his hands to count off every stipulation. "One, total honesty. That means no more bullshit, no lies. If there's something too personal to talk about, that's fine, but you have to tell me if that's the case." Again, more nodding. So far so good. "Two, you're going to have to protect me. I'm a squishy human and this is a permadeath server for me, remember?" A nod. "And three, you gotta listen and do what I say." 

No reaction this time, apart from Benrey's parted lips closing. As he keeps speaking, their gaze drifts, shifting from attentive, to bored teenager.

"Since you're so fond of coins and rewards I'm establishing a system of my own. So, here you go. Lesson one: human interaction is all about a game of give and take. If you're nice and helpful you're going to get the same in return, but if you're a little shit people are going to dislike you. There won't be a point system, that's not how it works in real life, just basic karma. So, when you behave I'm going to be nice to you, but if you're mean or stop trying you'll get the cold shoulder. If you're not sure what nice and behaved looks like in a certain situation you ask. That all sound good?"

This is like training an animal, Gordon reasons. Basic behavioral psychology. Maybe not the most humane way to treat someone, but Benrey isn't human. Gotta think outside the box for this one.

"I dunno," Benrey responds in an unenthusiastic mumble, slowly swinging their legs back and forth. "You think everything is mean. I joke around and you're ahhhh Benrey so mean. Stop talking about my feet Benrey wahhhh."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gordon takes a deep breath. Yeah, no, what did he expect? That Benrey would nod and say yes sir and thank you, sir? Would have been nice, but things are never that easy. 

"See, this is what I'm talking about! It's only a joke if we're both laughing. And you talking about my feet, making all these passes at me when I've told you I'm not interested, that's not funny. Listen, okay, I'm not going to ignore you if you come to me with legitimate criticism. Like I said, it's a game of give and take. I'm offering this for your sake, you realize that, right? We could just keep going like we have before, reinstate the fucking Benrey coins. How did that work out for us?"

Pouting, Benrey rolls their head to one side, delivering a really put-off groan as Gordon tries his best not to get mad. Even knowing their behavior is because they don't know any better, Benrey still manages to push his buttons. 

"BenzCoin™ got me a hug, idk," Benrey mumbles. "Callin' me home of phobic, not hatin', just gay. Duhhhhh! What do you want? Wahhh uhh be less gay Benrey, hurt my big man feelings, think there's a right way to be gay. You gonna soap my mouth? Break my, uh, second amendment right?"

"The right to bear—? Nevermind," he groans, rubbing his temples to try and alleviate the headache blooming there. "No, I don't want to soap your mouth. I'm not trying to censor you, okay? I just want to teach you how not to drive me up the fucking wall. Just because you like that shit doesn't mean I do."

Turning their head so they can stare at the wall opposite Gordon, Benrey folds their flesh arm up over their head, making it harder for Gordon to see their face. "How am I supposed to know what you think is mean and not funny. Just throw noodles at the wall. And hey why do I hafta listen to you anyway. Maybe your ideas are stupid, what then? I say no and you ignore me? Mean. Rude."

It's like talking to a teenager, a very angsty, petulant teenager. Is this what it's going to be like when Joshua grows up? God, Gordon sure fucking hopes not. If all goes well, he'll have the chance to raise him properly, so he won't feel the need to act this way.

Benrey does make some valid points though, some clarifications are clearly needed. "No, I won't ignore you," Gordon says. "If you're being mean I'll tell you, and then you have a chance to apologize. And if I make you upset, tell me, so that I can apologize. Here, I'll start." He turns his body to face Benrey more fully, clearing his throat before saying, "Benrey, I'm sorry I killed you on Xen, it obviously upset you and we should have talked it out instead of fighting." Benrey's gaze snaps up towards Gordon, their glowing yellow eyes wide as dinner plates and nearly eclipsed by the black of their pupils. "Now, do you have anything you wanna apologize for?"

"You mean that?" they ask, cutting off the end of his sentence, a touch of awe in their voice. Sitting up on their knees, they lean forward on their hands, closing a bit of the distance between them. The intensity in their reaction takes Gordon aback, his eyes flicking over their face with surprise, taking in their furrowed brows and the hurt in their eyes. "You treated me like a bad just 'cuz I was all stretched and weird. That hurt, man, do you even get it?"

When he'd apologized, Gordon hadn't expected a reaction this big, nor to coax out Benrey's true feelings like this. But it makes sense, doesn't it? Back on Xen, Benrey hadn't made a move to attack any of them until Gordon had already led the entire Science Team in an all-out attack against them. Before, all they'd done was ask for affection, take photos, and float around making dumb jokes about his feet. So, nothing different from the behavior they'd always exhibited. Yet it seemed so clear to him, then, that they were the villain that was going to put all of them in the grave. Why had he been so convinced of this?

The reason is simple, even if Gordon hates to admit it. He'd wanted to hurt them. It was the perfect excuse. They had been big and monstrous so Gordon had treated them as a monster, and used it to justify his actions.

There's the sound of glass breaking in Gordon's mind as his view of the incident shatters. Had he… been responsible for that entire final boss fight? If that's the case, Benrey deserves a far better apology than the one he'd just given.

Leaning forward as well, Gordon mirrors Benrey's movement, much to their apparent surprise, yellow eyes flicking from his face down to his hands and back. "You really didn't want to hurt us back then, huh?" He places a hand on their knee, hoping it will show his sincerity. Benrey sucks in a breath, gaze darting back and forth between Gordon's face and his hand. "You're right, man. I really fucked up. I was so mad at you and I let that anger get the better of me. I'm sorry, Benrey."

With every word Gordon breaths into the air, Benrey's eyes widen more, attention fixated on him before snapping down to stare at their single point of contact, Gordon's hand resting over their knee. Their lips tremble as they close their mouth, the sight of them clearly struggling not to cry causing Gordon's eyes to water as well. Taking in a deep breath through their nose, they hold it, their entire body stiff for a moment or two before they eventually let out a shaky breath, slow and deep.

"Wow," they croak in a higher pitched tone. "Thanks."

Hearing that puts a small smile on Gordon's lips. Finally, finally, they're getting somewhere. Seeing Benrey like this, so vulnerable and small, Gordon wonders what else they've misunderstood about each other, what other ways they've hurt each other without intending to.

Except… Gordon had intended to hurt Benrey. He'd literally used them as a punching bag, exactly as they'd said earlier. And he'd wanted to prove them right, beat them black and blue to take his anger out on them. The thought scares him now. He hasn't gotten into a fist fight since middle school, and even then, they were fights, not flatout beatings. He's always had a temper, but he's never been violent—not until the Resonance Cascade, that is, when he'd met someone that pissed him off to no end and realized there were no consequences to hurting them.

Was that all it took? It hadn't even been anger that drove him to hurt them a lot of the time, he'd taken pleasure in it, wheezing with laughter while punching Benrey off high places. At least they could blame ignorance. What excuse does Gordon have?

The truth is, he's got a darkness inside him, one he's never had to face before. One that makes him feel sick, nausea roiling in his stomach and threatening to send the meager contents of his stomach spewing forth all over the mattress. Breathing deeply, he manages to hold it in, blinking back to reality at the sound of Benrey's voice.

"Uh," they stammer, their eyes darting around the van, looking everywhere but at Gordon. "So, I'm."

Their sporadic gaze eventually settles, and when it does, Benrey suddenly turns pale, even more than they normally are. The black of their pupils constrict to thin lines, lips flapping silently. It takes a moment for Gordon to realize what they're looking at, following their gaze down to the jagged scar circling his forearm. When he looks back up, Benrey looks somehow worse, like the scar has shown them untold horrors.

He's about to tell them it's okay when they're suddenly blurting out, "Fuck it sucks so bad about your arm." The instant the words escape their mouth, they're groaning and throwing both hands over their face. "Ohhhhhh my GOD that's not what I wanted to say!" They sound mad, though at what, Gordon isn't completely sure. "I'm so fucking SORRY."

"Hey, man. It's okay," Gordon says, eyes flicking over their form. If it weren't for their one skeletal hand, Gordon would never have guessed the being in front of him was anything other than another human. They look so small, so fallible and awkward, just like everyone else.

Right then and there, Gordon makes a promise to himself. Never again will he raise a hand towards another living being, not unless it's to protect himself and the people he cares about. It doesn't matter if Benrey can't feel pain, or that they're an infuriating little shit. They don't deserve to be abused.

"I forgive you," Gordon continues, and much to his surprise, he does forgive them. Before now, such a feat as that felt like an impossibility, but with all this new information on the table, how could he not? There's still a lot more work to be done, so much hurt to mend, but this is a good first step, the first brick in a monument waiting to be built. Gently, he places a hand on Benrey's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, come on, man, you wanna hug it out?"

- ♡ -

Coming up with the right words to form an actual apology, something that doesn't sound insensitive and stupid, has Benrey feeling like every syllable that forms in their throat is packed with barbs that deal psychic damage. Why is this so hard? They know what they did wrong, and they're sorry about all of it. So why is putting it to words so impossible?

Considering how sucks their apology was, they really don't expect Gordon to accept it. It wasn't even an actual apology, they said sorry for being awkward, not for his arm, but, if it works… no, it's not good enough! They won't feel right about this until it's good enough. It's just so difficult, everything feels jumbled and captcha'd out, tension gripping their body until it feels like even their bones might snap, every word that threatens to slip out onto their tongue tasting rotten. They're sorry, they really are, so why can't they say it? Instead, they're seconds from sticking out their tongue and going blech, feelings!

Gordon's touch jerks them out of their thoughts, jolting at the unexpected contact and tearing their hands away to stare down his where it rests on their shoulder, puzzled. Looking up at Gordon with a doe-eyed expression, Benrey struggles to parse the situation they're in. Why would Gordon want to touch them, much less hold them? He didn't seem to enjoy touching the first time they did it back at the motel. He was barely even willing to put his arms around them, the hug barely lasting a few minutes before he'd started pushing them away, like anymore hugging would be such a burden on him. With all the contempt and disgust he feels for them, Benrey was resigning themself to Gordon never being affectionate with them ever again. Yet, in the past few minutes, he's touched them twice, both without prompting or malice, rather, with an intent to soothe.

Why? Why is he doing this? To get their hopes up? Because, unfortunately, it's working, and Benrey's just going to let it.

Giving him a nod, Benrey shuffles closer until their knees are touching Gordon's, staring at him as they wait for him to make the first move. Much easier to avoid making a fool out of themself that way. The instant Benrey feels themself pulled against Gordon's chest, they pull in a sharp intake of breath, body tense, waiting for the bad part, where Gordon's going to hurt them or mock them or something.

But nothing ever happens. With Gordon's thick arms wrapped around their back, keeping them held against his ample chest, they slowly allow themself to relax, opening the floodgates for the warm flutter of affection to get in. Tentatively, they place their hands around the back of Gordon's t-shirt, not wanting to force him to feel the skeletal phalanges of their left hand. They remember the way he'd shuddered in disgust earlier.

This hug is going to be quick, one of those super platonic bro hugs that's over in just a few seconds, nowhere near enough for Benrey to feel satisfied. They won't even allow themself to take satisfaction from this, knowing they don't deserve it and Gordon probably only feels obligated to do this. Their apology sucked super hard, he probably only accepted it to keep the peace.

But Gordon keeps holding them. They can feel his chin rub against their scalp, an action which has their body stiffening, breaths growing weird as they take in the way his hand strokes over their back in slow, soothing motions. A frisson runs down their spine, inhaling sharply before falling apart completely. Melting against him, they burrow their face into his neck, arms tightening around his body. They almost reach for his hair, but that isn't platonic, which is what this hug is. Platonic.

Sighing contentedly, that feeling of satisfaction starts to seep into Benrey's body, making their mind fuzzy and their heart feel full. That's when Gordon squeezes them tighter, a little whimper slipping out of them that's muffled against his skin. It really sinks in that this isn't just some quick thing, Gordon wants to do this, wants to hold them like this. Not just that, he's enjoying it.

But that doesn't make sense! Benrey's been nothing but awful to him, even if it wasn't their intention to be THAT awful. A little awful, but in a funny way that he was supposed to laugh at. But it's like he said, a joke is only a joke if they're both laughing.

Benrey's breaths stutter again and they grip the back of Gordon's shirt tighter with both hands, squeezing him in return. "I'm sorry," they breathe, those two syllables feeling like a punch to the gut. Turning, they bury their face in his shoulder. "Didn't mean to do it. Didn't… realize, weren't supposed to have… made fun and that was bad, I didn't know… I'm sorry…"

This apology is disjointed and sloppy, not good enough, and they can feel their body start to tremble in Gordon's arms. It's not good enough! How is he supposed to forgive them if they're so shit at expressing an apology? How will he ever know they mean it, that they've learned, and they're going to do better?

"I'm sorry I pushed you in the green goo," they blurt out, words tumbling out of them in a rush that makes their throat feel scratched raw. "And made fun of you and put glue on your seat and tormented you with skeletons and called your son shit I just wanted you to laugh and think I was cool and funny and playful like a little puppy, I just wanted you to like me! I didn't know it was hurting you or really pissing you off and making you hate me. I don't want you to hate me—"

Oh no, they're gonna cry again, this is so embarrassing. Benrey can feel their throat clogging up already and they take a deep breath to try and calm themself, but it just sounds like they're struggling for air and that's even more humiliating. Gordon must think they're so lame. Cry all the time, cry baby.

"Wanna be friends again, this SUCKS," Benrey continues, which is just really pathetic, like their dumb little rant on Xen that Gordon didn't care for either. He's probably thinking they're super cringe and annoying, he's gonna push them away, look all awkward, make an excuse to leave and it's gonna be so AWFUL. Yet they can't get themself to shut the fuck up. "Don't wanna be bad anymore…"

Gordon's hand strokes over the back of their head, causing their body to stiffen as they sluggishly register what's going on. He's… petting them? Why? Why would he ever do that?

"You're not bad, Benrey," Gordon reassures them, as their breaths stutter, and they fight to listen to his every word like it'll be on a test later. "Kinda stupid maybe, a little shit for sure, but… I was wrong, when I acted like you were responsible for everything bad that happened at Black Mesa. Some of it was you, yeah, but not all of it. It was my fault, too, and I didn't want to admit it, so I blamed it on you. It was easier that way, easier to try to hurt you when you pissed me off. I won't do that again. Can't promise I'll never get mad but I can promise to never hurt you again. And you won't either, right?"

"Never," Benrey promises, digging their face into his neck. They feel truly awful, but Gordon's words and his embrace show them they don't need to be so worked up about it. It's just difficult, feeling this way about someone who's so important to them. If they fuck up again, they might not be able to stop him from leaving—from spurning them for good this time, or… leaving this world entirely. That still scares them more than anything, more than losing him as a friend or even just a reluctant ally.

The embrace only lasts a little longer, before Gordon gently pulls away, delivering one last companionable pat to Benrey's shoulder. They let him go easily this time, feeling a lot better about this hug than the last one. At the time, the last one had felt incredible, but in retrospect, they realize they were so desperate for physical contact from Gordon that they'd willingly overlooked all the red flags. Everything is more complicated now, following human rules instead of a system of points that makes more sense in their head, but it's working a lot better so far. Got a real hug.

"Where to now?" Gordon asks.

It takes a moment for Benrey to catch up to what he means, a twinge of discomfort twisting their guts at the sound of his voice. Like he's so eager to move on, he can't just take a moment to breathe with them, or… something. It reminds them of how, even if they've just shared a very cathartic hug… Gordon despises them with every fiber of his being. Of course he'd want to hurry things along. Why spend more time with the demon that's haunted your every step for the past week?

Taking what feels like the world's deepest breath, Benrey releases it in tandem with a series of blue sweet voice orbs, willing the heaviness in their heart to dissipate. "Yeah," they say, neutrality falling back over their expression and deadpan tone of voice. Closing their eyes for a moment, they focus inwards, on their minimap that isn't quite filled out in this area yet. That was one of the reasons they intended to raise the price on directions; it's much harder to figure out.

"Northwest," Benrey says, opening their eyes to stare down at the bedding nearby. "I, uh, don't know this city. Map undiscovered. I didn't wanna…" Leave you alone in case you tried to kill yourself again, Benrey doesn't say. "Drive for a bit, get it figured out. Range is good and blips all over so, lead you away from those."

- ♡ -

With that messy conversation out of the way, Gordon manages a less than graceful attempt at climbing over the back bench to get back to the front seat. Benrey had made it look so easy, but he probably looks like a stranded whale.

"I—fuck…!" He finally manages to wrangle himself into the front seat, ignoring Benrey's mocking laughter while vowing to take the long way around from now on. Sorting himself out in the driver's seat, he casts the alien a glance as they easily make their way back to the front, flopping down in the passenger's seat where their hood gets bunched up around their head. Gordon can see a pair of little black and blue cat ears standing at attention atop the garment.

"Thanks, I appreciate that," he tells them, in regards to them guiding him away from harm. "I've dealt with enough aliens for one lifetime." He doesn't notice the face Benrey makes in response to that, instead starting the car, his eyes catching on the half-empty fuel gauge. Exchanging another look with Benrey, who's got their boots pressed against the glove box, he asks, "Is there a gas station on that mini map of yours? Daisy's getting hungry."

He gives the dashboard a pat. Might as well get attached if they're going to keep living in this thing.

A vacant look comes over Benrey's expression. A few minutes pass, before some life returns to their eyes, and they finally respond. "Take lil'… DAISY MAE down yonder to the ranch right there pardner," they say, in the worst imitation of a Southern accent imaginable, as Gordon barks a laugh. That's when they start giving actual directions to the gas station in question.

Making his voice a bit nasally, Gordon responds in kind. "Why thank ye kindly fo' the direction' there pardner," he says, a small bit of pride swelling in his chest as Benrey snickers in response. Thanks to all his time spent playing cowboys with Joshua, Gordon's gotten pretty good at that accent, and it feels nice to be recognized. "Any aliens we gotta worry about?"

"Uh… normal stuff. Only…" They smack their lips as their eyes go glossy again. "Like six of 'em."

Starting up the car, Gordon takes the road leading northwest as instructed, keeping an eye out on the horizon. Hopefully there won't be any more Golem Apes roaming around, although six hostiles are still six more than he would have liked. Even headcrabs are a hassle in groups. He decides to try out the give and take system again.

"Would you be willing to take care of those for me, bud?" Gordon asks. "I won't get mad if you say no or need help." He makes sure to tack the last part on, mindful not to make it sound like a demand. "It would be really nice if you could, though. You can snack on them all you want, too, I won't even comment on it."

"Uh," Benrey starts, leaning their head on their hand as they stare out the window. "I don't want to." Their response is unexpectedly earnest, taking Gordon aback. "Got guns, can watch your back squad style."

Fighting side by side, nothing new there—or, not really. Benrey had been very good at avoiding fights in Black Mesa, content in hanging back while sometimes setting off that freaky gun of theirs. Does Benrey hate fighting as much as Gordon does? Evidence would suggest they do. Maybe it's that giant monster form of theirs, is it hard to control? During the short period of time Gordon had seen it for, they'd seemed really out of it, swapping wildly between massacring their enemies and behaving in an oddly possessive way, as if he was their pet. Replaying the scene in his mind makes his face heat up.

Shrugging off that thought, he throws Benrey a smile before turning back to focus on the road. "Sure, bud, no problem. Let's kick some alien butt!"

As they get closer to the gas station though, he starts to get nervous. It's not that a couple of headcrabs or zombies have gotten him quaking in his boots or anything, with two of them fighting there shouldn't be much of a problem. Holding a gun again, though? The thought has him queasy. Only a few hours have passed since he held one to his head, one short press away from… He feels better now, he really does! No more despair darkening his mind. The future looks hopeful. And yet…

When they come to a stop at the gas station, Gordon opts for the crowbar instead, the tool a familiar weight in his hands. Only after the item is in his hands does Benrey make any move to get up. Stretching out their limbs like a lazy cat, they reach through their chair into the backseat, digging around while Gordon peers out through the windows. Once they've pulled back with their backpack and an assault rifle in hand, he nudges them with an elbow, his other hand getting ready to throw open the car door.

"You ready?"

- ♡ -

"Yeah whatever lessgo," Benrey says, clipping through their door to wander outside without a care—they're not in any danger, not unless they antagonize something. Looking around, they see a fairly substandard gas station. Pumps outside a convenience store that looks fairly cramped, with outdoor industrial fridges for soda and a freezer full of ice cream—or, well, it used to be, but both are completely empty now.

There's two headcrabs scuttling about, and a zombie slumped against the outside of the building. The shop's doors are busted open, glass shattered everywhere with blood smeared along the pavement. Benrey's eyes follow it into the store, where a series of knocked over shelves hide two other zombies, still alive according to Benrey's minimap.

Benrey snatches a headcrab out of the air as it tries to soar past them towards Gordon's head. As it wiggles around in search of freedom, Benrey tucks it under their arm, hearing Gordon wheeze a laugh behind them. They turn to face him, a small smile tugging at their lips. They hang around, watching him fend off the other headcrab with his crowbar just long enough to confirm that he can handle himself before they walk confidently into the store. At their back, they can hear him call out after them.

"Where are you—Alright, I'll just clean up out here, I guess!"

Clipping right through the doors, Benrey looks around the shop, noting the rundown state of the place. Must be a popular spot to go in a situation like this, because there's some obvious signs of combat in all the claw marks, bullet holes, and broken glass, plus most of the shelves are emptied. There's two zombies inside, old dudes crushed under a series of collapsed shelves that Benrey takes care of with some quick, single-burst shots of their rifle. The headcrab in their grasp really doesn't like the noise, but it has no hope of escaping, so it might as well just get used to it.

Double checking their map, they can't find any threats beyond the headcrab in their grasp, which is… odd. There were six blips when they checked earlier, but they left Gordon with two, found two inside, plus the headcrab… they're not particularly intelligent, but they know how to count to five.

They mull over this fact in their head while investigating the wreckage of the shop, unable to find much beyond a pack of beer bottles someone must have left behind in one of the freezers. Gordon might enjoy sharing it with them. Very bro-y and masculine or whatever. Benrey pulls the pack out, turning to ask the headcrab what it thinks, but of course all it has to say is "wahhh let me go" or… well, that's probably what it's saying, it doesn't exactly speak any languages.

With their spoils in hand, Benrey digs through the rest of the shop, just to turn up empty handed. Nothing that's been left behind really interests them and they don't think it would interest Gordon either. Though it's kinda curious, since the shop Gordon stepped into in the last city had tons of stuff. Benrey shrugs, it's probably nothing. Not like they understand human looting habits or anything, Benrey's body doesn't even get hunger and thirst and body odor and all that weird stuff.

"Sorry," Benrey tells the headcrab before swiftly sinking their teeth into it, killing it instantly. Setting the beer aside, they sit themself down on a nearby counter, roasting the headcrab in their hands as they run through the map in their head in the meantime. Lots of fun places, but lots of enemies too. No civilians, either, who show up as little white blips instead.

In their immediate area… the enemies are spread out, grouped together, things that can be ignored if they're on the road. Some shops might need to be cleaned if Gordon is interested in those, and they can guess which blips are probably the more troublesome things just based on distance from others and movement patterns.

One blip confuses them, though. It's traveling upwards through the city, ungrouped and at a pretty pathetic pace but with some obvious goal in mind. Benrey isn't quite sure what to make of it, but, so long as it's moving away from them, they don't really care. Tuning back into reality, they gather up their new meal, chowing down until it's all gone before licking their fingers clean, grabbing the beer, and heading outside.

They find Gordon by the gas pumps, filling up the tank while humming She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain. Benrey recognizes the tune from an old cartoon. Holding the beer up directly in front of Gordon's face causes him to jump in alarm, though their voice remains deadpan as they say, "Prezzie for the… bezzzztie. Crack open a cold one with the BOYS you know what I mean."

"Whoa, what—That place still had some beer left? That's awesome, man! God, I haven't had one in weeks. Let's crack into these when we find a place to stay tonight."

Benrey beams at Gordon approval, though their idea of a smile appears incredibly devious and full of teeth. It's been a long time since they've drank anything; beer was pretty popular back in the guard barracks, that and weed. The drinking experience fluctuated wildly between boring and exciting, at times taking a certain turn. But those guards were nobodies and Gordon is a very definite somebody, at least to Benrey, so this should be interesting.

"You got everything you need?" Gordon asks as he finishes up with the gas. "I'd like to get past the city today, and if we don't find any motels, we can camp out, maybe build a fire or something."

"There's nothing here," Benrey reports. A bit further out, now that they're closer to the city and can see more of it, there's some things they wouldn't mind seeing, but the threat levels in those areas have them reconsidering. Maybe after the apocalypse. In regards to the rest of Gordon's musings, they can't find any motels, hotels, or even just an apartment block or some houses that aren't overrun. "No ICE CREAM here, lame. Inconsiderate."

"No ice cream?" Gordon echoes, clutching his metaphorical pearls. "Homophobia!" As Benrey grins in response, Gordon finishes up with what he's doing, leading the charge back into the van where Benrey flops back into the passenger's seat. Once there, Benrey tucks the pack of beer into their bag before setting all their things into the backseat. While Gordon's getting the car started, he glances Benrey's way and asks, "Hey, you ever been camping?"

His question has Benrey swiftly forgetting the bakeries, bars, arcades, and other cool things they wanted to visit in town in favor of running through a whole list of other activities.

"Of—" Benrey starts, about to say of course I have in order to sound cool, when they suddenly remember their oath to honesty. "No," they correct. "How do we… caveman make fire. Get some stuff? For that? Fishin'? Oh bro I wanna eat a fish, can I eat a fish? Wait, is it cold outside at night?"

Their last question comes as a very sudden realization—there's something Tommy told them about once. Desert nights are COLD, and that doesn't exactly vibe well with them. The motel they'd stayed in wasn't great but at least it had heating in it. Black Mesa was different, too, plenty of buildings with working power grids for Benrey to go into if the Gang™ decided to sleep outdoors.

"Yeah, we could go fishing," Gordon says, getting the car pulled back out onto the road. "Although you'd need fishing gear for that, like nets or fishing poles. And, yeah, it can get pretty cold, that's why we build a fire. But we won't sleep outside, we'll be in the van where it's warm."

They don't think the lack of fishing gear will be a problem, but it depends on what time they get to their destination. As it is, they don't see any good locations, but they're willing to bet there's something outside the city. For now, Benrey does their best to direct Gordon around the city with an incomplete map. There's department stores and the like all over, though they don't actually know for sure where to find camping gear. They don't even know what camping is like outside of what they've seen in media, which usually involves stuff like tents—though Gordon said they won't be using those. And Benrey can start a fire without help, it's just… not very authentic.

"Hey, wait," Gordon starts, while Benrey is busy mumbling a list of items they should look for under their breath. "Are you cold blooded? Not in the badass way, I mean like a lizard or something."

"Supplies… net. Huh?" They turn away from where they're perpetually looking out the window to face Gordon. "Not a lizard people. You gonna slurp my blood bro? Heat up in the microwave?" They have no idea what "cold blooded" means, even though it does sound like something they've heard before. They just don't know what relevance it has right now.

"What?! Lizard people?" The sound of Gordon pausing to let out a wheezing laugh has green bubbling out of Benrey's mouth, pleased to have made him laugh.

"Kinda gay—I mean. Kinda… hot? Like vampires. Suckle on my blood. Wahhh."

"I don't—I don't want your blood, man! I meant like…" He takes a deep breath, battling the laughter down. "You don't get warm by yourself. Lizards can't regulate their own body heat, if it's cold, they're cold, and if it's hot, they're hot. Is that why you asked if it's gonna be cold? Because you can't keep warm? You gotta tell me stuff like this, man. It's no good if you go into hibernation, or something."

"Oh. Ohhhh. AM lizard people," Benrey says with a sage nod. "Yes. Not… don't need sleep. Kinda similar though. Don't work anymore when I'm all chilly, get a bit shit. Big Brother kept my enclosure frosty so I'd stop killing people…" The wide-eyed look Gordon gives them at that has them rapidly backtracking. "Uhhhh but like they were all sucks so who cares. Booo."

In their periphery, they see Gordon bite his lip, a weird look coming over him before he turns back to watch the road. "You know what," he starts. "We could use some camping stuff. Dunno where we're gonna find it, though, I haven't been to this city before. How much information is there on your mini map? Do you get like, store names and shit?"

"YEAH! Shoppinnnnnnnnng oh my god let's gooooooo-uh," Benrey cheers, adopting a valley girl accent as they sit up in their seat. While focusing inward, towards their map, they wonder where exactly one would even find camping gear. "What we lookin' for girls? I see lil' icons, NO WORDS only pictures. Got logos, Homed Depot, the Walled Mart…"

Their ridiculous musing has Gordon wheezing with laughter. That's when an excited green mote drifts out of their mouth. "DICK'S!" they exclaim, as Gordon's laughter turns to a borderline crazed cackle. "OH GIRLS. DICK SPORTING GOOD—Turn left up here," Benrey enthusiastically taps the window to point to where they mean, sitting up on the edge of their seat such that they can fold their arms on the dashboard like it's a bar counter.

"Fuck yeah!" Gordon exclaims. "Good catch, bud."

The praise has more green drifting out of Benrey's mouth, though it starts to turn pink outside their notice, too occupied with watching and listening to Gordon to pay attention.

"So, we're going to need sleeping bags," Gordon starts, as Benrey makes a mental checklist of every item in neat little rows. "And a gasoline kitchen, a tent, knives, and rope. Oh! And fishing poles! Let's get that fish!"

Leave it to Gordon to know the necessities. They had intended to just show up and grab shit, whatever looks good. Which they're still going to do, but, they're going to make extra sure they get all the things Gordon is talking about. Sounds pretty, multi-purpose, things this trip is seriously going to need. They don't know what a gasoline kitchen is, but they're excited to find out.

And there's this flutter in their chest, warmth and affection budding like little cherry blossom trees. Companionship, or, that's what they should be feeling. In actuality, they're more than aware that every time Gordon laughs, smiles, or speaks so animatedly about things that excite him—it's just making them love him more, hopelessly, ridiculously, to the extent they're too busy staring at him to remember to keep giving directions. They do, of course, just a little late at times.

"Parking lot's a party but not the back," Benrey says. "Got, lil' bit in the building. Just gotta be a lil' patients."

They just, really don't want to. It would be so much easier if they went alone, but they want to share the experience with Gordon. And leaving him behind in the van makes them a little uneasy when the place has so much heat.

Laying their head down on their arms, they tilt their head Gordon's way, a soft look in their eyes. "Sweet lil' baby boy in his little flesh suit," they tease, praying Gordon can tell they're being affectionate and not derogatory. "Just stick behind me and shoot, 'kay?"

"Yeah, whatever. I'll show you who's the baby boy around here," Gordon shoots back, a lopsided grin on his face.

Benrey's lighthearted teasing appears to have worked. They feel like they can understand it now, or maybe Gordon just understands them better? Wow. This human relationships thing is kind of satisfying when you get it right. Who needs coins for hugging when they can get Gordon to give them this floaty feeling just by saying the right things?

- ♡ -

Though the front of the sporting goods store is littered with zombies, the back is far less busy, with lots of unmarked, windowless doors and little areas for trash disposal. Gordon takes the long way around to maintain a low profile. The last thing he wants is to alert the hoard milling around the parking lot that there's a human fresh for the picking nearby. Gordon parks at a loading bay in the back of the store, glancing around to confirm it's really as empty as it looked from the road. Once he's finished his search, he reaches for the handle to the door.

"Okay, I'm getting the suit," he tells Benrey, who's reaching for their bag and guns again, though they pause to stare back at him with big, cat-like eyes. "Your job is to keep a lookout for creepers and zip me up when I've gotten everything on."

"Creepers, aw man," Benrey deadpans.

The two of them step out, with Benrey moving to stand guard in an almost cartoonish fashion, holding a pair of two-handed guns singlehandedly while swiveling their head back and forth. Meanwhile, Gordon heads for the backseat.

The excitement he's been struggling to build up rapidly diminishes as he stands before the orange pile that is the HEV suit. He really doesn't want to get suited up again, but going up against aliens in such an enclosed space is a lot riskier than an open parking lot. The extra protection will be essential to get through this scot-free.

However, not only is the suit heavier than he remembers, it also stinks to high heaven. Wearing the suit all the time had made him scent blind to it, but being rid of it for nearly a full twenty-four hours has really changed that. Another shower is gonna be needed after wearing this thing.

It takes Gordon longer than he'd like to get all the pieces on, but eventually he pulls on the last glove, hobbling out to Benrey who's still standing guard outside the van.

"Alright, pull the lever, same one as yesterday, and then we can go," he instructs. They look up at him with a blank expression, hood up and making it harder to see their face, similar to their old helmet. Without a word they step behind him, easily locating the latch in question and securing it. "Do you know what we can expect inside? Headcrabs? Zombies? Hopefully not another Golem Ape because I don't think even the suit will protect against that."

As Benrey steps back around to his front, he holds out a hand in a silent request for one of Benrey's guns they've now got slung over their shoulders. It takes a minute of prolonged staring before it seems to click, and they hold out the rifle for him.

"Peeper puppies," Benrey says. "Please be shooting them one by one. Lil' stunner. Thank you." Without another word, Benrey turns and walks off towards a white door in the back, stepping right through it.

This quick turnaround from Benrey making dick jokes in a valley girl accent to being stone cold and all business is, frankly, astounding. Although Gordon really isn't one to talk about rapid changes in mood , considering the journey he's taken today alone. The rifle is a familiar weight in his hand and for a moment he feels the cold barrel against his temple again. But before his mind can get too deep into dangerous territories, Benrey opens the back door to the sporting goods store for him, giving Gordon a new objective to focus on.

Peeper puppies. Not as quick as headcrabs but far more destructive. If they want to actually get something out of the store, they'd better take care of them first.

Gordon tries to keep a low profile as he heads inside the store, gun held at the ready while he ducks between aisles, peeking out from behind shelves to assess the situation. The place is fairly large, obviously ransacked at some point but nowhere near the degree to which the gas station they'd just left behind had been. Clearly people didn't think they'd need fishing rods and tents as much as chips and soda.

As he peeks out from behind one of the aisles, he spots Benrey wandering around, not even bothering to take cover. What the fuck are they doing? He can hear them digging through shelves, picking things up to shake them around before moving on. Trying to call out to them now would just attract attention to himself, so Gordon has no choice but to try and avoid whatever chaos they cause with their recklessness. Though he really shouldn't be so worried, they're clearly more than capable.

Ideally, he'd like to sneak up on the pack of peeper puppies, take them by surprise while Benrey fucks off elsewhere in the store. But he doesn't get the chance. The HEV suit is much heavier than he remembers, and in one particularly cluttered aisle, he clumsily missteps and kicks a stray can across the floor, where it clanks noisily into a shelf across from him.

The reaction is immediate. The sound of chirping reaches his ears before he even figures out where the pups are, dozens of tiny feet stampeding towards him in a fucking frenzy. He doesn't even have time to think before they've swarmed his location.

Instinct takes over, and he fires off several shots into the group, taking out three before one manages to get a shockwave off on him. It's only thanks to the suit that he evades damage, but even the suit can't stop him from getting knocked on his ass, the rifle flying out of his grasp to land god knows where. In his mad dash to scramble off the floor in search of it, he hears the pepper puppies rear up for another shockwave. With a mounting sense of panic, he realizes he's not going to be able to get out of the way in time.

"Benrey!" The cry for help rips out of his throat before he can realize it, throwing himself to the ground and curling up into a ball in hopes to protect his head from the blast.

Which never comes. Instead there's the sound of a knife tearing through flesh, wetly splattering blood across the tile. Eyes wide, Gordon whips around in search of the noise. The sight that greets him takes his breath away.

Benrey, with massive claws and their form glitching and fuzzing like an old VHS tape, stands atop a nearby display, their legs spread and ready to leap forwards with murderous intent, face reduced to nothing but a serious of glowing eyes piercing through the shadow. Several peeper puppies lie dead on the ground around them. The petrifying sight freezes Gordon in place. Right now, Benrey looks every bit the terrifying, malicious entity Gordon has painted them out to be in his mind, with alien blood dripping off their distended fingertips. In a blur of movement, they're on a peeper puppy that's trying to wind up again, tackling it like a deranged, feral animal, claws sinking into its body as teeth clamp down around it, swiftly ending its desperate writhing. The lifeless creature is tossed aside, before Benrey charges for the rest.

Shaking his head, Gordon shoves to his feet, darting after his discarded weapon. Now is not the time to go feeling intimidated by Benrey's eldritch power. As a battle rages on behind him, Gordon tracks down the rifle, getting it in his hands just in time to see Benrey get blasted backwards, catching themself on a shelf nearby and knocking down a lot of tools in the process. A deep red liquid drips down their lip, and Gordon can't be sure if it's blood or something else, but there's no time to dwell on it. The flock have set their sights on him, now, totally uninterested in the alien entity in their midst.

Taking off running, Gordon barely makes it behind a shelf when three shockwaves hit in quick succession. An explosion of boxes blasts off the shelf, pummeling the suit but luckily avoiding his head. Before another can hit, he starts running, skidding around a corner and turning with his rifle raised, rapidly firing into the crowd and managing to take down a few more. It's thanks to this exhausting method of run-and-gun that he eventually stands in a quiet store, glancing around at the wreckage and piles of dead aliens before a sound from the front of the store catches his attention. The glass is starting to fracture as crowds of zombies pound on the windows, desperate to get in.

"Got solicitors," comes a familiar, droning voice that has Gordon whipping around, still in fight mode. Without thought, he pulls the trigger on his gun, but luckily, it merely whizzes past Benrey, missing by a long shot. Still, they slowly turn to look at where the bullet lands, a look of total boredom on their face.

"Dammit, Benrey, don't sneak up on me like that, man!"

"Huh? Bro, you gonna barricade that or what."

There's a knife in the alien's hands, thick and black with both a curved and jagged edge. The sight of it makes Gordon flinch, but Benrey walks away instead of towards him, picking up the peeper puppies nearby and wandering off with them. Shaking his head, Gordon lets out a shudder before hurrying to block the front doors with whatever he can find. Luckily there's a ton of shelves he can heave down as a barricade. As he works, he can't help feeling like this would all go a lot smoother if Benrey were the one doing it, but they're nowhere in sight. Shaking his head with a grumble, he pushes more shelves into place, the end result looking real fucked up, but it should keep any "solicitors" out until they've gotten what they need.

Running through the store, Gordon first snatches up a large camping backpack, the type with millions of pockets. This holds all the loot he runs through grabbing, like rope, knives, various fire starters, and other small items. He even finds a display with s'mores ingredients: crackers, chocolate, marshmallows, the whole shebang.

Despite the frenzied rush, Gordon feels like a kid in a candy store, on the verge of giggling as he stuffs the backpack full of all kinds of fun stuff. Not only will all these things make the travel easier, but more comfortable as well. 

In the clothing aisle, he grabs some warmer clothes, plus a couple of rain coats. Not as stylish as Benrey's clothing haul but far more practical. He's about to run along to the next section when something black catches his eye. On the shelves, amongst all the hunting gear, hangs a men's leather jacket. The garment is both stylish and practical, the material thick and water resistant on top of being fairly warm as well. It's impossible to resist snatching it up to add to his arsenal.

With the backpack full, he stacks it against the back door before going to hunt down some larger items, namely a pair of top grade sleeping bags, warm enough to sleep on Mt. Everest if the advertisement is to be believed. After that is a two man tent, a small, portable gas stove, and fuel.

Seeing his loot stashed by the back door, Gordon can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. It feels good to get things done like this, to be on the move, have a goal and shit. If he stands still he starts thinking too much, all manner of dark thoughts invading his mind. Better to keep moving, keep talking, keep distracting himself with the task at hand. 

He's about to turn back around and grab more stuff when the pounding at the front of the store starts to turn into the sound of shattered glass. "Shit," he curses, rushing to drop off the rest of his stuff by the exit door. "Benrey! Come on, man, I need your help getting this stuff out to the car before the zombies turn me into their next meal!"

"Yo what up." The sound of Benrey's voice has him jumping and nearly tripping over the tent box set directly behind his legs. He whips around, finding Benrey suddenly standing directly in front of him. There's a large cooler hanging by the handle from one of their hands; and the thing reeks, forcing Gordon back several steps as he pinches his nose to escape the smell. "Sick loot. We Bear Grylls'in it now." 

"What the—what's in… You know what, I don't want to know. If that's going in the car you're putting a plastic bag around it so you don't stink up poor Daisy." 

"Whaaaaaat," Benrey complains, though Gordon completely ignores them, instead snatching up a nearby roll of black trash bags and shoving them into Benrey's grasp. "Tch. Man. So rude, tasty snack, can't appreciate…"

Continuing to ignore their whining, Gordon points to the stack of supplies nearby, saying, "I got what I could, but we need to go. Help me carry some of this stuff."

"…Whatever, man," Benrey grumbles, yet they pick up nearly everything all at once with no trouble at all, phasing right through the back door and part of the wall to get outside. Gordon still has to undo the locks, but it's not much trouble at all, and soon enough he's back out into the world.

Luckily it's still empty back here. Nothing unusual about that; all the commotion at the front of the store no doubt is attracting everything that way. Undeterred, Gordon packs everything into the back of the van alongside the cooler that's been wrapped up in several garbage bags. All their supplies are starting to fill up the space pretty well. They'll need to organize this at some point, but that's for later. Right now, they need to get out of here before they attract anymore attention. Even removing the HEV suit would take too much time, so he leaves it on for now.

Climbing back inside the van, he finds Benrey already in the passenger's seat, bag off and gun set in the backseat alongside it. Gordon does the same, returning the rifle to Benrey's collection as carefully as he can manage whilst maneuvering in the suit. A pair of glowing eyes—or possibly much more than just a pair—watch him closely as he does so.

"Alright, let's get going," he says, starting the car and pulling out onto the road before anything bad can happen. Only once they've been driving for a while with Benrey's instructions to guide him does Gordon manage to calm down, to adjust to the fact there's no longer a fight happening, no imminent threat to be worried about.

That's when he glances over to Benrey in the passenger's seat, reclined as usual with their boots up on the glovebox, staring out the side window. Seeing the alien has Gordon thinking back to the sporting goods store. They'd disappeared for so much of it that it hardly felt like they were working as a team at all. Still, they'd appeared when he called, quite possibly saving his life from the peeper puppies' shockwaves. Not only that, but they wrapped up their cooler, which is no doubt full of the very aliens they'd killed back there, as Gordon asked, even if it took some complaining on their part to do it. Thinking back to the rewards system Gordon set in place, he smiles over at them and says,

"Hey, you did good back there. Thanks for the save." With his free hand, he reaches over and claps them on the shoulder. Yellow eyes stare down at his hand in surprise before flicking back up to his face, blinking slowly. As he takes his hand back, he continues, "Sorry I didn't manage to grab any fishing gear, but I got us some sleeping bags, a tent, cookware… oh, and some clothes that might help keep you warm. Even found some s'mores stuff, so we're definitely camping out tonight."

Though he didn't get everything he intended to, he's still pretty proud of his haul. There's a lot of stuff in there he'd never be able to afford otherwise that's going to make their little trip practically luxurious.

"Coulda… uh," Benrey starts, tipping their head back. "Did better wasn't bein'… loud boy. Did the plan right."

A frown tugs at Gordon's face, glancing over to Benrey with bemusement. Irritation has yet to set in from their criticism, though he can feel the flames start to ignite in his gut. "What—What 'plan'? We didn't have a plan, man, you just ran in and I had to try and hide. Not my fault the suit is so clunky, I'm not used to it anymore."

"Noooooo bro. Come on. I said. You didn't do the thing."

Confusion and irritation start to battle in Gordon's mind, like some kind of anime power struggle. Not only does he have no idea what Benrey's on about, but… why can't they just accept the compliment and move on? Why do they have to make every conversation so difficult?

"What 'thing'? You're not making any sense. If you want me to do a 'thing' you have to tell me what it is first."

"Ughhh whatever. You never listen, man…" they trail off with a scoff, sagging lower in their seat as they turn back to watch the sky pass by outside their window, hands tucked into their pockets. Gordon tries not to grind his teeth in response. Kindness. He has to remember that. Don't fall for their shit, Gordon. Just because they're going to act like a child doesn't mean he has to stoop to their level.

Not knowing what to say that won't spark an argument, Gordon keeps quiet, only responding to Benrey's instructions where necessary as they head out of the city. Out here, there's mostly flatlands stretching out for miles, not the best place to keep a low profile. Hopefully they can find some forests when they've gotten further north.

Chapter Text

As the van turns into its instructed exit and onto a highway, it doesn't take much longer for Benrey's map to fill out enough to reveal a good place for them to spend the night. It's a few miles away, with a relatively dense field of trees that would keep them well-hidden. A small lake resides nearby, alongside some creaks that are so small Benrey nearly missed them entirely.

All-in-all, it's disappointing in comparison to what Benrey's seen in media, though that's to be expected with a desert like New Mexico, they suppose. Not a lot of lush camping environments in the dry grass cactus land. There's an icon in the area, which Benrey would suppose means it's an official campground, and as the van gets closer to its turn, Benrey can see a sign advertising said campground, leading them past a small shop and onto a dirt road.

Based on the lack of movement of the red blips further ahead, they're willing to bet the campground is nothing but zombies. There's some sort of environmental storytelling there, they think, a bunch of people running off to live in the woods, as if that would help them escape the alien threat. It makes them wonder, if Earth's animals ended up on Xen, would they wreak havoc as well? Or is there something so inherently hostile about Xen that Earth's creatures could never hope to win over them? Something about that is saddening to Benrey and they're not even sure why. They shake that thought away in favor of staring out the window at the wilderness passing them by.

"Camp off to the left," Benrey instructs, as they draw near the exit leading off the highway.

"Oh, shit. You found an actual campground? Nice job, man," Gordon praises, prompting a stream of pink sweet voice to escape Benrey's mouth. "How many threats are we looking at out there?"

It takes Benrey awhile to accurately count the amount of red blips up ahead, and in the meantime, they prepare their shotgun. There's nothing particularly alluring to them about the headcrab zombies, being neither fun to take down nor a tasty meal. It's going to be a slog, they can tell, because the number they end up with is, "Forty-five. Give take a couple, bad at math."

- ♡ -

"Forty-five?!" Gordon exclaims as the van pulls into park outside some type of small, brick administration building. He groans, tipping his head back against the headrest of his seat. This is going to be some work.

But it's nothing he hasn't handled before. Hell, he must have killed hundreds of headcrab zombies back at Black Mesa. This won't be so bad, he assures himself.

After Benrey passes him the rifle, locked and loaded, he steps out, catching sight of a campground full of slashed and destroyed tents and blood-soaked grass. A few of the bodies hanging around have stirred as a result of the van's engine, slowly shuffling towards the source of the noise. They're joined by a few more as Benrey starts blasting zombies with their shotgun. Meanwhile, Gordon… just stands there. There's something off about this, something he can't put his finger on…

Suddenly, it hits him. These zombies… aren't scientists. It feels silly to realize this now but it's the first time he's been faced with any zombies that aren't clad in the nondescript lab coats that were so usual at Black Mesa. Now, he watches Benrey blow the head off a tiny one clad in flip flops and red basketball shorts without a moment's hesitation.

A high-pitched ringing starts up in Gordon's ears as he sweeps his eyes over the campsite. A story unfolds before his very eyes; groups in holiday outfits outside the tattered remains of their camps. Friends, lovers, families… children. All dead, all turned into mindless beasts shuffling towards the sound and smell of something alive…

Darkness creeps into the edge of his vision, his breaths coming out in short pants. The sound of a gunshot has the rifle flying out of his hands, heat hitting him like a bullet as it clatters to the dirt at his feet. Stumbling backwards, his back hits the side of the van and he sinks down to the ground, the sight of the… the child in the flip flops falling to the ground repeating over and over again in his head.

He can't see, can't hear, can't think. All he can do is grip his head and struggle for air as the world spirals around him.

- ♡ -

Working through the zombies is such a chore that Benrey's mind starts to drift. Such slow and weak enemies don't invigorate them at all, and with how nasty zombies taste, there's hardly any reward at the end of this aside from getting a campsite all to themselves. And that's after they've moved everything away to make room for themself, and this place is looking pretty gross, so Benrey would guess they'll be heading farther in. Which, ugh. This is all so much work.

It's as they stop to load more shells into their shotgun that they notice something is wrong. It's too quiet—not quiet at all, that is, there's a cacophony of groaning and low-pitched wailing outside the sound of a shotgun being reloaded and racked, but, that's it. No rifle. Yellow sweet voice bubbles up out of Benrey's mouth as their head whips around, frantically searching Gordon while wondering what happened, where they went wrong to allow Gordon to get hurt.

But, he's not. They spot him over by the van, exactly where they expected him to be. Benrey takes in his slouched form and despairing position, curled up into a ball with his head clutched in his hands. What's wrong with him? Chancing a glance behind themself, they blast a few more zombies to create some space before running off, interposing themself between Gordon and the horde to keep them off him. Once there's enough leeway, Benrey slings their shotgun over their shoulder, turning and kneeling in front of Gordon.

What's gotten into him? They catch no scent of blood or any sort of pheromones that would suggest he's afraid to die. It's not hard to figure out this isn't some prey response, though, they just can't figure out why he's freaking out like this—it's not normal for him, normally panic drives him to fight harder.

"Hey, big guy," Benrey says, trying to make themself sound reassuring, though it ends up sounding like they're speaking to a child. Without knowing what's wrong, they have no idea how to soothe him properly. Regardless, Gordon doesn't react in the slightest, continuing to tremble with his head hung. "You can, dip out? If you want? Play some viddy games. I—"

They pause, sensing a zombie close behind and whipping around to aim a quick shot at its face without thought. Gordon's head whips up at the sound of gunfire, watching as the headcrab falls away, revealing the person hidden behind it. While the sight turns Gordon's face pale, eyes wide with horror, Benrey doesn't even look.

Instead, they double check that they have time to talk to Gordon again before putting their gun away and sitting down on their knees in front of him. Finally, his eyes snap towards them. Tentatively, they reach forward, placing their flesh hand on his shoulder, the other kept in their hoodie pocket. They don't even have time to come up with something reassuring to say before Gordon is reaching out to grasp onto the front of their hoodie, a soft gasp escaping them as he uses it as leverage to pull himself against their chest, face buried in the fishnet overlaying their striped shirt.

"Make it go away," he begs, voice wavering and thick with emotion. "I can't—please make it go away."

Benrey's messed up hand darts out of their pocket as they wrap their arms around his neck, claws threading into his hair, head laid down over his. They take in the racing of his heart and the despair in his voice, uncertain what's gotten him so shaken up. The zombies aren't new, there's just a lot of them in one place, which Benrey understands is overwhelming, but that doesn't feel like the issue.

It doesn't matter, though. What they do understand is what's important here, which is that they need to protect Gordon from the chaos of this situation while he deals with whatever horrors are assaulting his mind.

Pulling away from their embrace, Benrey places a hand around the side of Gordon's head, forgetting to use their flesh one and ending up with a thumb bone against his cheek. They press a kiss to his brow, brushing his hair back before lifting him up into a bridal carry, his head held against their chest to encourage him not to look at the horde that's so clearly upsetting him, for whatever reason. At least, they can't think of anything else that would bug him.

As Benrey rushes around the side of the van to the trunk, a high pitched keen starts to come out of him, his breaths labored, hands clawing at the fabric of Benrey's hoodie. An extra pair of shapeshifted arms later and Benrey gets the van's trunk open, placing Gordon atop the mattress and pulling the blanket up over him.

After a moment's hesitation as they watch him curl up, shaking and clutching his head, they lean over the top of him to sing blue directly into his mouth, as much as they can in what little time they have. "You're gonna be okay," they add, so the blue doesn't just freak him out more, make him feel trapped in his body or something. "Your super cool best friend Benrey's gonna take care of everything."

There's no response from the limp body under the covers, and Benrey doesn't wait for one. Not with a horde still right outside. Instead, they jump back out, taking the rifle Gordon dropped and making quicker work of the zombies shuffling about the campsite. One by one they fall, until none remain on their map.

- ♡ -

The image of the child's lifeless body is burned into Gordon's retinas, his mind assaulting him with troubling images. Soon, it's no longer a stranger's face he glimpses, but Joshua's, his son laid lifeless on the ground with blood all over his face, hollow eyes staring into nothing…

Something soft connects with his back, and soon everything is blue. Every note unravels the knot tied in his chest, the feverish heat consuming his body cooling, and he's finally able to pull in several deep gulps of air. Only now does the sound of Benrey's voice reach him, their soothing tone helping him to relax further even as the meaning takes time to register. Everything is so far away now, he can't remember what it is they're talking about, what needs to be taken care of. He's floating, with no desire to land.

Outside, gunshots burst in rapid succession, the noise bringing the world into sharper focus. The tranquility he'd been allowed is short lived as his memories catch up with him, recalling the horde of zombies, the… people. Though the blue keeps the panic and despair at bay, it doesn't stop the thoughts. This… this is his fault. These people are dead because of him, because of his experiment, his actions.

Tears run silently down his cheeks, the darkness from earlier creeping back in. Would it be better if he disappeared? What right does he have to live when so many others have died?

But something pulls him back from the brink. The child he had seen outside, it hadn't been Joshua. His son is still out there somewhere, waiting for him. For his sake, Gordon has to survive.

As he inhales a deep, calming breath to help stem the flow of his tears, he hears the sound of the driver's side door opening. At first, he assumes Benrey is grabbing something, a gun or more ammo perhaps, when the click of a key and the roar of the van's engine reach his ears. He blinks, confused. Benrey can drive? He's about to sit up and ask, but the blue has him numbed to a borderline vegetative state, thoughts sluggish and body too heavy to lift. The desire to act has flooded out of him, anyway, so for awhile, all he does is relax. Allow himself the time to feel like a person again.

The blue haze helps him get through the rather bumpy and chaotic ride, unable to care so much even as the effects begin to fade. By the time the van has pulled into park somewhere, Gordon has regained enough control over his body to sit up, leaning back against the wall of the trunk. By now the HEV suit's confining nature has started to take its toll, but he doesn't know whether it's safe to take it off just yet.

As a result, he's stuck waiting for Benrey to appear. Thankfully, it isn't long at all before he sees the alien stick their head through the trunk door, eyes faintly glowing and blood splattered all over their cheeks and unruly raven curls. Only a few hours earlier, such a sight would have filled Gordon with dread, fear, and despair. Now all he can feel towards them is grateful. Without question or complaint, they'd taken over when Gordon had fallen apart. Without them, he dreads to consider what might have happened.

"Thank you," he tells them as they climb inside to sit across from him on the bed, a sizeable distance between them. His voice is raspy and low from crying and borderline hyperventilating. Now, he struggles to smile, but all he can manage is a pained grimace. "Sorry. I Gordon'd that one. Where are we now?"

Benrey glances down, then back up before scooting a little closer. "Lil, rest stop, park. Cleaner here. Kinda smelly and gross up there. Closer to the lake too, and, bathrooms." Their eyes droop, staring down at the HEV suit's chestplate. "Could get that off, go skinny dipping. No hom—uh, platonic. Don't hafta… go together, but like, maybe, don't wanna be alone?"

Nodding slowly at their words, a wave of exhaustion washes over him, and without thought he allows his head to droop forward to rest on Benrey's shoulder. They tense considerably, before their body slowly sags, allowing Gordon to seek respite in them for a few minutes. Having Benrey nearby is… nice. Isn't that funny? That he actually feels safe and comfortable having them around? They're something alive, something constant and here, not a specter haunting his mind or a zombie that fills him with guilt.

Maybe he's finally lost his mind. But if this is what madness looks like, he can't complain.

Heaving a heavy, trembling sigh, Gordon holds back the tears threatening to flow down his cheeks. If he keeps crying like this, he won't have any fluids left in him. The lingering traces of blue in his system help keep him calm, as well as making his mind feel floaty, such that he allows himself a few more moments of rest before responding to Benrey's suggestion.

"Yeah," he sighs, hesitating to lift his head up. It's just so nice—they aren't warm like a human, but they're warm nonetheless, a living, breathing being among a world of the undead. One that doesn't seem to mind what he's doing. "Let's get this off. But, uh…" He lifts his head, glassy eyes staring down into Benrey's airy gaze. "I don't think I should be alone right now. There's… too many ghosts," he taps his temple. "Up here."

Their vacant expression makes it hard to tell if they understand, if they're even listening. Either way, Gordon turns around, bowing his head and drawing his hair over one shoulder so Benrey can reach the latch on the back of the suit. The tip of a claw brushes past his neck, sending a shiver down his spine and causing goosebumps to bloom all over his arms. It's such a contrast, the way they could so easily use those claws for death and destruction, yet here they are, treating Gordon so gently.

"Got me," Benrey drawls, a mechanical sound suggesting they've found the latch. "Here to annoy you. For - free, no charge. Don't gotta spend time with the ghouls, I talk louder."

Benrey's words are surprisingly comforting. The two of them have gotten so far in just one day and Gordon can't help but feel proud of their progress.

As the HEV suit falls from Gordon's body, he hears Benrey's lackluster voice call out, "Hey so when we gettin' BLITZED. I wanna get crazy."

It's a good thing Benrey seems to be on the same wavelength vis-a-vis getting drunk. Whether Benrey can even get drunk or not doesn't matter; as long as Gordon can drown the day's events in a pool of liquor, he'll be happy.

"Oh, we're getting there, man," he tells them, tugging off the various pieces of the suit. "I just gotta do some stuff first. I don't wanna have to think of anything when we crack those bad boys open. Let's clean up, get a fire started, get some grub, and then we'll drink. Sounds like a plan?"

"Yesssssssir Bob," Benrey responds, watching as Gordon gathers up his toiletries. The lake will probably be cold as balls, but at the moment, Gordon need a bath too much to care. No more small, confined spaces where he's plagued by the memory of the dead. Only open skies and the beauty of nature for him right now, thank you very much.

After tossing Benrey one of the towels he nabbed from the motel—which lands on their head to cover their eyes, something they don't bother to correct—he climbs out of the van, pausing to look around the area. It's a small outcropping of mostly dirt, with some park benches under a canopy, public restrooms, a horseshoe game, and, a little farther in the distance, some log benches pulled around a campfire. Breathing deeply to inhale the fresh outdoor air, Gordon turns at the sound of Benrey's boots scuffing against the dirt, the towel folded up and hanging from their shoulders now.

"Which way to the lake?" he asks them, as they tilt their head up a little, turning in every conceivable direction before latching onto a dirt path nearby.

"Over there," Benrey says, pointing to a dirt trail on the other end of the little rest area, which curls around and down a small hill. There's a sign right next to it that tells of the lake nearby, including estimated time to travel on foot.

"Great," Gordon says, throwing a smile Benrey's way, where he witnesses a few orbs of green escape past their lips. "Let's get going."

Chapter Text

The walk to the lake isn't long, being barely ten minutes at most. The spring heat feels nice against Gordon's skin, a slight breeze rustling the trees enough to make for a peaceful atmosphere. Having grown up in the midwest, it's a nice return to the sprawling forests of his youth. Though even in this facsimile of one, the air here still doesn't hit quite right. New Mexican greenery always smells a bit burnt, in his opinion. But now is no time to be picky. There's trees, something Black Mesa sure as fuck didn't have, and if Benrey wasn't around, he would hug one right now.

Speaking of Benrey, they're gazing up at the world around them, expression spacey yet their eyes glimmer with astonishment, taking in the sights of all the evergreen trees bordering their path, the clear sky overhead. The sun dapples the leaves against their skin, creating an idyllic view of them that, for a moment, has Gordon mistaking the situation for a cozy stroll through the park in spring.

And of course, they see fit to open their mouth and shatter that image.

"So like," Benrey says along the way. "You don't actually gotta skinny or anything. I mean I'm not gonna weird out about it and start sniffing your dick or whatever but you know. It's whatever."

Gordon snorts at Benrey's little rant. Being seen naked by Benrey is the least of his concerns right now. Honestly, who fucking cares? They've saved his life multiple times today, they could sniff his dick for all he cares.

"What the fuck, man, you got some weird fetishes going on," he teases, keeping his tone light so as not to actually kink shame the guy. "First feet pics and now sniffing dicks. Wouldn't wanna peek at your browsing history." As far as fetishes go, dick sniffing and feet are pretty tame. His own porn searches have veered into far weirder territory, not that Benrey needs to know that.

A jaunty green melody floats out of Benrey's mouth as they walk, soon reaching the lake, which is surrounded by a small, sandy beach with some rock formations surrounding it. A wooden pier is built along the left side, leading part way out over the still waters. It's nothing much, but after the events of the last day… or week, really, it's breathtakingly beautiful.

For a moment, he lets himself bask in the arcadian atmosphere of the great outdoors, before hastily beginning to throw off his clothes. Not far away, Benrey wanders around looking for a place to set their leather bat backpack so they can get undressed, eventually finding a rock to set it down on before tugging off their hoodie. In the time it takes for them to do that, Gordon's stripped bare without a care to the fact they can see his whole ass as he wades into the warm waters, their heated gaze going entirely unnoticed.

A memory floats to the forefront of his mind, from his halcyon days in Sunday school. The story of John the Baptist, who baptized Jesus in a river. Gordon is not a religious man whatsoever, even less so after everything he's seen, but as the water surrounds him, washing away the heat, sweat, and blood from his body, he understands why some people see this as a religious experience.

With a sigh, he falls back into the water, inviting the calm waves to envelop him like a lover's embrace. As he closes his eyes, his world becomes nothing but peace and the warm glow of the sun against his eyelids—until he hears a noise.

"CANNONBALL!" Benrey exclaims, giving meager warning before they're crashing into the water from up atop a nearby rock. The waves this generates are far larger than a being of their size should make, nearly sending the entire volume of water splashing into the air. This buries Gordon under the waves, leaving him sputtering and spitting water, his curls now drenched and sticking to his skin.

Turning towards the culprit with an unamused look, he watches Benrey breach the surface of the lake, shaking their head like a dog to send their curls flying around, splashing droplets of water into Gordon's face. Once they're done, they push their curls back out of their face, grinning toothily up at Gordon.

"Bad move, bud," he tells them, as the glimmering in their eyes only grows brighter and more mischievous. But unfortunately for them, they've now awoken the beast. Numerous summers spent across Gordon's childhood having water fights with his sister and their friends have taught him all the dirty tricks.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna…" Benrey trails off, looking clueless as Gordon leans back, their gaze glued to his feet as they breach the surface of the water—and kick wildly, sending water spraying all over them.

"Wahh—!" They exclaim, raising their bad arm to block it while sticking out their tongue, making pbbbt, pbbttt noises as they struggle to keep the water, and hair, out of their mouth. Gordon has always found Benrey's weird water noises hilarious, it's one of the things that made him laugh already when they were in Black Mesa and he hated the dude. Hearing it again now is such a comfortable familiarity that he barks a laugh, almost breathing in water in the process.

Once the barrage is over, Benrey's left looking like a drowned cat, disgruntled and pouty. "Unfairrrrrr…!" they whine, shoving their hair out of their eyes, a long, forked yellow-to-green tongue sticking out past their lips as they fruitlessly try to get strands of hair off it. "Tryna SEDUCE ME with those little tootsies so you can DROWN ME."

"Hey, you showed me your cards, man, can't be mad at me for using that to my advantage."

Giving up on getting their hair settled, Benrey slaps both hands down on the water, splashing in Gordon's direction as he sputters and shoves some back. But they don't retaliate, instead sinking down until their mouth is just barely above the water, giving Gordon an ominous look. "Lucky I, don't Loch Ness on you. Latch my tentacles on you and pull you under, how 'bout THAT."

Gordon's mouth opens and closes, a cold sort of heat falling over him. There's no way Benrey's found out about that little interest of his. They're just messing with him. Though, regardless of if they know or not, it doesn't stop his thoughts from spiraling out of control, images from a certain folder on his hard drive flying, unbidden, into the forefront of his mind. So he has a bit of a fetish, so what? It's not that weird in the grand scheme of things. Certainly not any weirder than sniffing feet, or whatever. He is not a bigger freak than Benrey, okay?!

"You don't have tentacles," he asserts, like that's going to protect him from the thoughts continuing to assault his mind. Like, for instance: What would it look like if Benrey had tentacles? Would the appendages sprout from their sides like their extra arms do? Or maybe from their back? Would the tentacles match their skin, a pale, bluish gray fading to pitch black along the tip? Or—No, nope, stop this! That train of thought gets shoved back into the shame box, locked tight where no one will ever find it. "I'm… going to go grab some shower gel."

That gives him the perfect excuse to put some distance between them, turning to hide the red blossoming across his face as he places himself in shallower water. Here, he can focus on properly washing his body. Not… on whatever the fuck that just was.

As he lathers his body in the soap, properly cleaning the sweat and grime from his body, he can feel eyes all along his back, watching him, but he ignores it. Benrey can stare all they want, he's not going to cave to their attention seeking ways. Not even when he feels the water shift to signal their approach does he look up. No, he's got a lot of dirt to wash off his body, he's far too busy to indulge them.

The sound of their voice sends a shiver up his spine, his thoughts grinding to a screeching halt. "I got tentacles," they say. "Wanna see?"

That… they're just fucking with him, right? There's no way. Turning, he finds Benrey dipped low in the water, mouth and nose hidden beneath the dark depths so they look like some kind of sea cryptid with their hair splayed out along the surface of the lake. Large yellow eyes stare up at Gordon. It's impossible to tell if this is a joke just by looking at them. It wouldn't be out of character for them to pull a prank like this, and it's "innocent" enough not to break the fragile truce between them.

But why tentacles? Had they heard something in his voice? Seen the blush on his face? If they've got some weird alien mind reading powers and they saw what went through his mind then he will die on the spot.

Assuming they aren't joking, and they just want to show off one of their abilities, should Gordon accept the offer? On the one hand, it would be so very, very bad, further confusing his feelings for the alien by adding some sort of tepid attraction to the mix, which is not what he needs right now. How is he supposed to look them in the eye after this? They have to be in close proximity for weeks!

On the other hand, Benrey offering to show off their abilities without Gordon asking is a great display of trust from them. It might be a gateway to knowing more about their physiology, which could be crucial to his survival. If he declines, especially without a good reason, he might damage the fragile bond of trust between them. It might be worth some confused feelings if it helps build a better rapport between them.

"Yeah, sure. Show 'em," he says, desperate to keep his tone casual, as if he hadn't just made a pros and cons list in his head over such a simple question. They don't have to know how much this is freaking him the fuck out.

"Hmm," Benrey hums, averting their gaze and letting a tense silence reign over the two of them. The anticipation nearly has Gordon sweating with anxiety, frozen in place as he waits for them to do something. Eventually, they utter a simple. "'Kay."

At first, it doesn't seem as though anything has happened. And then, through the dark depths of the water, Gordon spots an even darker shadow moving through the waves, unfurling longer and longer, thick, writhing tendrils coiling through the water, far more of them than he can count. He takes an unwilling step back as the mass moves towards him. How could he not? Even knowing it's Benrey, this is like every childhood fear of sharks in the swimming pool turned to life.

Benrey watches them with a blank expression, following the sights as one inky black tentacle raises out of the water, forcing a gasp out of Gordon's throat. The appendage resembles the tentacle of an octopus, thick with a row of suckers on the underside. In the sheen of the liquid clinging to its slimy surface, a dark blue hue can be seen.

He's so busy turning his head this way and that to observe the phenomenon that he doesn't notice as the tentacle moves closer, careful, cautious. It's not until he feels the cold tip rub against his left arm that he's janked out of his observation, gaze snapping down to watch it coil loosely around his arm, the suckers gently kissing along his skin. Another gasp escapes him, the barest hint of a moan hidden within. He can't help it, the feeling is… electric.

It's a good thing the water is so dark, rising up to waist level still with plenty of soap suds floating around to hide the growing erection between his legs. Despite that, he feels obvious, like Benrey must know and they're mocking him for his reaction. But as he glances over at them, all he can find is the same blank expression as always, their yellow eyes dilated and staring up at him as if searching for his reaction, which doesn't make him feel any better. What can they see? What face is he making? He feels impossibly hot, they must notice.

A few more tentacles rise above the surface, making Gordon aware of just how many there are, but only the one risks going anywhere near him. A sane person would run screaming from the sight before him. A creature with glowing yellow eyes, dark hair flowing behind them like a wedding veil, a mass of writhing tentacles peeking out of the water and waving at him. A nightmare for most, but for Gordon, it's more like a wet dream.

"I—uuhhh… neat," he finally manages to squeak out, breathless and reedy. "Yup, haha… those sure are some tentacles." He swallows audibly, struggling to make his voice sound more natural. "Guess you proved me wrong! Very… very neat."

God, could you be any more obvious? He's internally chiding himself when the tentacle starts to move even higher up his arm, wrapping around his shoulder, the suckers teasing at the skin of his armpit as he gives a panicked giggle. Another brushes against his leg, and he jolts, skin pricking with heat as the appendage wraps around his thigh, drawing a twitch of interest from the hardness between his legs. At the same time, a third slides around his waist, coiling loosely enough that Gordon suspects he could easily escape—if he actually wanted to.

More and more, Gordon feels as if he's losing control over this situation. What was meant to be merely a display of Benrey's ability has instead turned into some kind of… demonstration. So far the touches have been innocent, explorative. Nothing that has to be sexual. It's only Gordon who's a freak that finds suckers moving over his thigh the most erotic thing he's ever experienced.

"Think they like you," Benrey says, raising their head above the water just enough to speak. "Wanna come closer? Hug? Not scary, prommy."

He should put a stop to this. Extract himself from their prodding, yet loose embrace. But it's like his head is filled with blue again; all he can think about are the tentacles, wondering how they'd feel if Benrey held tighter, tighter like…

A memory from earlier today resurfaces. Benrey's massive claws gripping him like he's nothing but a doll, keeping him safe from harm as they'd slain the Golem Ape threatening his life. At the time he'd been terrified, convinced they meant to kill him next. Since then, he's recontextualized that situation. Being in their hand is probably the safest he's been since before the Resonance Cascade. The memory and his current situation blur together, and in a flash he can imagine how it would feel to be wrapped up in them, feeling them move all over his body and inside him.

Another thought pops into his mind unbidden, his breaths quickening. What would it be like, if Benrey used their tentacles to pull him forward, dragging him into their embrace? Exhaling a shaky breath, he speaks before his mind can catch up to his mouth.

"Make me."

Yellow eyes widen, teal sweet voice drifting up out of the water. Those eyes rake over his form, as if trying to ensure he's serious, that this isn't a joke.

The amount of tendrils writhing out of their body are difficult to count, but there's quite a lot of them as they all seek purchase on Gordon's body. Any notion he'd had to move away completely evaporates, remaining still as they coil up his legs to his thighs, around his waist and chest, both arms, around the back of his neck, notably avoiding his more sensitive below the belt areas until they've encased him in a sticky, wet, slimy suit of armor. The arousal that had so far been primarily heat coiling in the pit of his stomach now spreads like wildfire throughout his whole body. Every nerve ending grows hypersensitive, registering every minute movement of the tentacles over his body.

A reedy whine finds its way up out of his throat, pushing past his lips before he can stop it. Several suckers brush past his nipples and Gordon shudders from head to toe, eyes nearly fluttering shut at the divine sensation.

And then Benrey pulls, effortlessly dragging him through the water with a strength that leaves him breathless. A brief spark of fear flashes over him as he feels the sandy floor of the lake fall away, but his head never dips below the surface, Benrey's tentacles holding him securely above the water. With wide blown pupils, he takes in the sight before him, from Benrey's many glowing eyes raking over his body, to their pale, bluish skin and the split in their chest where the tentacles sprout forth like an eldritch being from a black hole. They're terrifying, alien, and surprisingly alluring.

Two toned arms rise up out of the water, wrapping around his neck where the tentacle closest to them wraps its tip around their wrist, like a cat's tail.

"See?" they say, as one of the tentacles around Gordon's chest raises up towards his face, gently prodding at his cheek. He leans into the touch, their eyes snapping down to the motion, watching the tendril leave behind little pink circles on his skin. Benrey’s voice has a breathless, low quality to it that has him shuddering within the tangled mess of tentacles. "Friendly."

Somewhere in the back of his arousal riddled mind he realizes he's crossing all sorts of boundaries, here. This is not what he had in mind when he decided to teach them about how humans interact. This is not normal human interaction!

But maybe he isn't the only freak here. He can feel Benrey's heavy breaths on his face, laced with something sweet smelling that has him salivating. Blue blooms across their cheeks, glowing eyes dilated nearly to the point of pitch blackness.

"I—We—Please…" Words fail him, a litany of phrases repeating in his mind until it's impossible to form a coherent sentence. Things like more, take me, and we should really stop before we fuck up our relationship. But all that comes out of his mouth is a string of aborted words and gasps.

It's like standing on the precipice of a cliff, teetering just on the edge. He could throw himself backwards, onto familiar ground. Laugh it off like it's just a joke, get up and go jerk off behind a tree, then continue on as normal. As normal as it can get traveling through the apocalypse with an alien with tentacles hidden in their chest. But he can't resist the pull of the abyss, deep and unknowing.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Benrey's gaze falls to Gordon's lips before they lean in by his ear, their cheek brushing past his where they can feel the scratchy texture of his beard. Their arms curl tighter around his neck.

"Please, what?" Benrey asks, speaking just slightly above a whisper. Has their voice always been this deep? This smooth? "Please, let me go? Or…" One of the tendrils wrapped around Gordon's thigh moves closer to his cock, teasing the skin all around it and leaving little pink marks behind. The sensation is horribly distracting, preventing him from focusing on their words properly. "'Cuz I think I like you right here. Think you do, too, Freakman."

Vaguely, he's aware Benrey has insulted him, and he should be offended. But what they're saying is true: he is a freak, and he really likes it here. He should answer, voice his desires, but words continue to elude him, so all he can do is nod in agreement, using the movement to nuzzle closer to Benrey's face, yellow eyes drooping down towards his mouth, their lips parting.

He wants this, he wants this so bad, to feel good for once in this awful, hurting world, to make the voices, doubt and guilt in his head shut up for once as he gives himself over to pleasure. Gordon wants nothing more than for Benrey to make him fall apart, until the only thing remaining is the pleasure that vibrates like a song beneath his skin.

"Please…" he croaks. "…More…"

A shuddery sound escapes Benrey, their hand curling into his hair, yanking his head back and sinking their teeth into his neck as he cries out, pitched and heady. His whole body twitches and spasms at the sudden addition of pain into the cocktail of pleasure, his eyes fluttering closed. He doesn't care anymore, he can't care anymore. So long as they keep bringing him this pleasure that chases away all fear and anxiety from his mind, he doesn't care.

Adrenaline shoots through his body, Benrey's alien appendages growing more adventurous. The tendril caressing his face runs along his lips, where he can flick his tongue over it, tasting an odd mix of water and a syruppy blue raspberry. It reminds him of the blue sweet voice, and the mere reminder of it has him falling deeper into that pliant state. He wants more, both the taste and the tentacle, wants it to slip into his mouth and plunge deep down his throat. But as he moves to suck on the tip it pulls out of his reach, only teasing his lips and the tip of his tongue. 

A whine escapes him that quickly transforms into a raspy moan as the feeling of suckers on his dick hits him like a truck. He almost mistakes it for another tentacle, if not for the way the appendage fits so perfectly around his length, rubbing itself on him and kissing the tip with its suckers, little pink marks left all the way down to the base.  It's all he ever dreamed of and more, every sucker against his oversensitive skin a small explosion of pleasure.

Benrey's teeth release his neck as they let out a heady moan. "Fuck," they groan, head falling forward onto Gordon's shoulder. "Fuck, Gordon… So good—"

Their alien cock pulses around him, and they let out a whimper right by his ear that sends a shiver down his spine. Another tentacle presses into his balls, sucking on the tender flesh and curling around to strategically place another directly over his puckered hole, sucking on it with enthusiasm. Their tentacles rub and suck on the flesh of his thighs, his chest, everywhere that would be even remotely sensitive. And then there's Benrey's lips trailing up his neck, leaving wet kisses behind. They travel up to his face, licking a stripe across his cheek, tasting the salt on his skin.

"Feels good, right? Want more, greedy boy?" they breathlessly taunt.

Gordon writhes in their grasp, as they tease his mouth and hole with the tips of two tentacles, pulling away if he moves towards either one. He can feel the strength of their tentacles holding him still, making him feel kept and secure, and when their tentacles squeeze even harder, possessive as opposed to their more careful embrace from before, it punches another moan out of his chest, so loud it makes his ears burn with embarrassment. He needs something to silence himself with, something to keep his mouth busy so he'll stop making all these embarrassing sounds.

Twisting and turning his head, he manages to capture Benrey's lips with his own, licking into their open mouth where he can taste citrus on their tongue, slimy and wet like a cup of yogurt. A startled moan escapes them, breaths stuttering and eyes rolling back as they melt into the kiss. Their enthusiasm easily rivals his own, a hand at the back of his head pulling him closer, locking him in place in much the same way as their tentacles prevent him from moving. A faint hint of strawberry mixes with the citrus as their long, alien tongue wraps around his, filling his mouth. Gordon gasps into the kiss, tongue feeling over sharp teeth, prodding them in search of those delicious little sparks of pain.

Somehow, impossibly, he can still hear their voice, taunting him directly into his ear. "If you wanted to be stuffed so bad you coulda just asked," they growl, a tentacle prodding at his entrance while others spread his legs further apart, the tendril dripping with an inky blue substance that clings to his skin as it pushes inside. The pressure has his body going rigid—it's been awhile since he's fit anything larger than his fingers inside himself, and with zero prep work, he expects it to hurt.

Yet it doesn't. The tentacle is soft and malleable, fitting to the shape of him to easily glide inside and stretch him wider. The sensation has him melt against Benrey, who shivers and groans into his mouth. The tentacle feels around for his prostate, attaching a sucker to it before slowly detaching, pulling nearly all the way out just to thrust back in and repeat the process. 

"Feel so good," they breathe, somehow, their mouth continuing to devour his lips with hungry, biting kisses. Their voice is rough in a way he's never heard it before, a way that sends sparks flying down his spine. "Moving around, taking all my cocks so well, like you were made for it." He finds himself agreeing with their words—this is what he was made for, to get taken and used until he can't think anymore.

Yanking his head back, Benrey pulls away, a trail of orange saliva hanging between their lips. "Wanna see you," they say, eyes raking over his face, taking in the deep red flush, the dazed, dark look in his eyes. Their gaze is too intense, an adoring look in their eyes that generates a small burst of panic in Gordon's chest. A heady sigh escapes Benrey's lips, cock pulsing around Gordon's. "So fucking pretty. Want, somethin' nice? Open up, please."

The tentacle from before comes back, pushing at Gordon's glistening lips before sinking inside his mouth, writhing around inside his wet heat as Benrey groans. This gives him something better to focus on, and he sucks on the appendage with such enthusiasm he nearly chokes. It's easier this way, when he can't think anymore, can't think about the warm look in Benrey's stare and what it means. All he needs to do is to be a good hole for Benrey to thrust into, something warm for them to fill up, it's all he wants to be right now. 

All the stimulation has him losing his grip on reality. Every push and pull inside him, every dirty word uttered sends him deeper and deeper into a place of pure submission, a place he never wants to leave. It's so much better this way, to just give, let Benrey take him apart piece by piece until nothing is left but the pleasure they bring him.

So lost is he that he doesn't even notice how close he stands to the edge. Somewhere amongst the mass of tentacles sucking on all his most sensitive areas, and Benrey's rambling praise and simultaneously gentle-rough(-loving) touches, he tumbles over that edge, his whole body twitching with the force of his orgasm, tears forming in his eyes as he swallows Benrey's tentacle as far down his throat as he can.

- ♡ -

Benrey can feel Gordon's cock twitch in their grasp, can tell he's close, and they can't look away, gazing, unblinking, at every flutter of his lashes, the raw look on his face as his orgasm takes him, their breaths hot and heavy as they stroke him faster, thrust into him harder, massaging his prostate with their suckers as he comes undone. They want it all, they want to suck him dry and leave him empty, devoid of thought, nothing but a doll to do with as they please. The thought has them groaning low in their throat, squeezing him tighter.

"Good boy," they breathe, running their fingers through his hair as he rides through his orgasm. Kissing his cheek, they lean in by his ear, whispering praises and encouragement as they watch him with a series of additional eyes opened throughout their body. He's so beautiful, that tension he carries with him everywhere, even in his sleep, completely absent.

Pressing their nose in against his neck, they inhale deeply and exhale with a shudder, sinking their teeth in as they resume the motion of their tentacles in and out of his body, moving hard and fast and deep. Their breaths quicken, pulling back with a whine and pressing their face against his cheek, whimpering pathetically while babbling a lot of "fuck" and "Gordon" and some other nonsense that probably makes sense to someone. He's too delectable, eagerly sucking them down into his throat and writhing in their grasp as they continue to fuck him, tentacles pushing deep inside him, a few dipping down to caress his feet, leaving little pink circles on every inch.

"So good, fuck—" The pleasure tingles in the back of their skull, a pressure building in their core that's rapidly overflowing. "Please—Gordon, let me cum inside you, please, please, I'm gonna, gonnaahhhh fuck—!"

Plum sweet voice drifts out of their mouth as their release hits them hard, jerking their hips into him and splattering his waist with their pale blue cum that's quickly washed away by the water. Doesn't stop there, though—the two tentacles they have shoved deep inside Gordon pulse a few times before filling him up as well. It drips out of him as they pull their tentacles back out, claws grasping at his back as the tendrils recede back inside their body, keeping him held afloat even as they feel a bit like passing the fuck out.

Not in the water, though—cradling Gordon against their body, they lift him up and carry him back to the shore, laying him down in the sand and collapsing against his chest, panting hard. Every nerve in their body is singing, a euphoric feeling flooding them that has them grinning like mad. It's hard to believe that really just fucking happened.

But they don't want to dwell on it right now, instead indulging in Gordon's body for a while as they both come down off their highs. They'll take care of him after they've rested for a few minutes, figuring he must be pretty out of it as well with the way he was acting. He won't mind, right? It just feels so nice here, the water soaking their body satisfying their dumb little squid brain, the warmth of the sun a beautiful comfort they rarely get to experience these days.

Not to mention how plush Gordon's body is beneath them. He's made such a wonderful bed, the perfect place for them to rest after a long day, or in the middle of the day, lounging on him… just, whenever.

All of this… what does it mean? Are they… is Gordon… into them? He kissed them first, he must like them! Wow… barely a full day and he's already changed his mind! They must have done really well. The best friend of all, the best… lover…? The thought has them overwhelmingly giddy, joyously humming green into the open air while kicking their feet a little.

"Benrey…"

Dark lashes flutter against Benrey's cheek, snapped out of their thoughts at the sound of Gordon's voice. Right, they can't pass out here. No matter how heavy they feel, or how nice it is resting on Gordon's chest like this, their hair fanning out against his chest like a thick clump of algae as they listen to his heart beating. Sluggishly picking themself back up, they lean over the top of him, arms on either side of his shoulders, staring down at his face.

Yep, wow, he's OUT. They brush his hair aside, the dark brown curls sticking to the sides of his flushed-red face. Little pink marks cover part of his face, even more visible down his neck, where there's a few bruising bite marks as well. They can't help the huge grin on their face as they look down at him, that possessive and slightly feral part of their brain purring in delight. This is exactly how he should be, fucked out of his mind, unable to bitch and moan about the smallest things. No thoughts, head empty, full of cum. Cute as hell, too.

Benrey bends down to kiss his brow, then his cheek and the corner of his mouth. Some part of them really wants to take him again right now, allured by the sight of him looking so out of his mind, but the—small, underused—portion of their brain that still produces logical thought quickly snuffs that idea out.

"Gonna, dry you off real quick," Benrey says before standing and lifting him back up, bringing him over to a nearby rock to sit down on. Grabbing their towels, they drape theirs around their shoulders, using Gordon's to carefully dry his hair, figuring he's probably the type to be fussy about breakage or whatever. They know how to do this, they have curls too, even if they're not exactly as tight.

As they work, Gordon slowly comes back into himself, his hands running over his body. There's little pink circles all over him, with a few bruises blossoming from how hard their tentacles had gripped him. He traces them with one hand, their eyes drifting down to watch him with an unsteady breath. Damn, that's kinda… hot? The way he seems all mesmerized by the marks their body left on his? Not only that, but the way they've marked him from head to toe, branded him as theirs, so no one could ever see him and think anything other than that he belongs to them.

Or maybe that's their feral squid brain again. Or the kink. Probably both.

With their task done, Benrey kisses Gordon's brow before moving onto the rest of him, wiping the sand off his body and drying him off to the best of their ability. They linger for far too long on his feet, without realizing how much additional care they're paying to them until they're already done. With an embarrassed pink-yellow hum Benrey gets back up, fetching Gordon's spare clothes and bringing them over for him to change into, setting them on the rock next to him.

"You good, bud?" they ask, kneeling between his legs with one arm across his thighs, their fingers running through his bangs. Slowly, his head lifts to look at them, leaning into their touch as their hand glides down to caress the side of his face. They can't help but stare, intoxicated by the way he presses into them, like a cat seeking affection.

"Yeah…" His voice is a low whisper, still a bit hoarse from having their tentacle shoved down his throat. His next two words catch them completely by surprise. "…Kiss me?"

The dazed look on his face, that soft little request, Benrey can't help it. Pink sweet voice surges out of their mouth, a euphoric feeling flooding their body that makes them want to jump up and down and squeal and roll around on the floor. Instead of all that, though, they sit up on their knees, caressing the nape of his neck to angle his head down towards them, where they press their lips to his in a slow, tender kiss. As their lips move against his, they feel him reciprocate, fireworks going off in their chest. They could die right now, and they'd die happier than they've ever been.

Their fingers tangle in his hair, playing with the damp strands. He feels so loose and pliant against them, it's incredible. Maybe they should fuck his brains out more often. Uh, not too often, though, they like having his help in combat.

When they finally pull back, his breaths hot against their lips, they ask. "Wanna… get dressed, friend? Brought clothes, lil' gift for you, prezzie?"

Though clearly still lost in the sauce, Gordon manages a nod at their question. Figuring him to be a bit useless at the moment, they help him into his clothes, wiping the sand off his body as they get him into a t-shirt, some black jeans, socks and his boots. Their fingers glide over his feet as they pull his socks on, the act tickling their brain in a way it shouldn't. Even the boots, which they rest on their thigh as they get him zipped up and buckled in, has their face burning and alien cock attempting to peek back out of its sheath. The soles are really powerful. They can only imagine how it would feel on other parts of their body, with some force applied.

After helping Gordon get dressed, they change into their own clothes. Their outfit this time is more lax, with some stylishly ripped black jeans they don't mind getting a little ruined, a black belt with a silver heart buckle, an MCR crewneck, and their boots with too many buckles on them. Simple, easy, fun to cuddle. They add a crystal pendant and some chains around their neck as well, so they have something to play with and put in their mouth if they start feeling understimulated.

Throwing their backpack on, they lift Gordon back up whether he's ready to walk on his own again or not, holding him in a bridal carry. As they walk, he nuzzles into their neck, gently breathing in their scent. The feeling is electric, their breaths growing odd as every nerve in their body lights up with total euphoria. As if that wasn't already a lot to handle, he also starts leaving little kisses every now and then, nearly causing them to melt into a puddle in the middle of the route back to the camp. The sun dapling through the leaves adds to this by creating such a cozy atmosphere, all the affection and tenderness and, dare they say, love feels almost magically idyllic.

It's all so perfect, they almost forget to check for threats. Minimap says the area's still clear for quite a ways out, so Benrey feels confident taking Gordon back to the rest area, where they climb inside the back of the van and place him down on the bed, head on the pillow. The change in lighting is a pleasant one, the gray dimness of the van's trunk better suiting the tranquil mood hanging over them both.

Kneeling down next to him, Benrey bends to kiss him again, a hand caressing the side of his face. "Got anything you want? Snacks? Blanky? Snuggles?"

Gordon appears to think about it for a while, before he manages to croak out. "Drink. And a hug."

The request for affection has Benrey making the stupidest expression, pink bubbling out of their mouth like they're drowning underwater. "Okay," they breathe, hopelessly smitten. "Wait one sec."

They press another kiss to Gordon's lips before sitting back up. Clipping through the back seat, they dig around for anything resembling a drink, managing to find a bottle of water in Gordon's supplies that they bring back for him. They make sure Gordon has a good grip on it when they hand it to him. Seems like he's coming back, but he's still super out of it and they don't want him to spill anything.

They'll gladly baby him for a bit. It tickles some part of their brain that rarely gets any attention. It's something Tommy pointed out to them once, after a lifetime of being made to feel like they were inherently hostile and bad just like everything else humanity found on Xen. There's a kindness in them that wants to get out, but they rarely get the chance to let it, so this feels cathartic and reaffirming, in a way.

Even better is that Gordon's letting them touch him, asking for kisses and hugs and just relaxing instead of constantly going over some checklist or plan or fussing about something. Yeah, it's an apocalypse, but having an immortal alien apex predator as your bestie has some perks, okay!

Like now, as Benrey helps Gordon sit up and makes sure he doesn't have any trouble drinking. Something about watching his mouth as he drinks is really fascinating to them, and the second he's done, they only wait long enough for him to swallow before leaning in to kiss him again, indulging in the feeling of those soft, plush lips against theirs.

This is probably the most peace Benrey's ever felt. There's a part of them that feels like they shouldn't feel this way, that it'll hurt worse when it's all taken away again. It's harder to silence that voice now that they've had what they thought they knew turned on its head so many times. Now they're not confident they know anything, that they can predict or understand anything, much less about Gordon.

Scooting closer so one of their legs is curled over the top of Gordon's thigh, Benrey wraps their arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "Good?" they ask.

- ♡ -

Benrey just keeps kissing him, like they know how lonely his mouth feels. How long has it been since anyone's treated him this way? It must have been before the divorce, maybe even before then as he'd had his falling out with his ex. The tenderness with which Benrey treats him leaves him powerless to resist.

Gordon just… he doesn't want to do it anymore. To talk, to plan, to lead. To be strong, to endure hardships. He wants to go back to the lake, where he wasn't anything, didn't feel anything but immense pleasure. He wants to be pampered, to give up all control and never pick it back up. The thought is dizzying and shamefully erotic.

As his systems kick back online, these thoughts start to feel more shameful than erotic. It's embarrassing, his mind tells him, embarrassing, and selfish, and flatout insane to act this way.

What the fuck has he done? Is he that weak, that perverse that the mere touch of a tentacle had him crawling to Benrey? His worst fucking enemy? Sure, they've promised to be kind, and they've shown him kindness in the way they've taken care of him so many times today, continuing even now as they hold him so lovingly around his waist, their head tucked against his neck. It feels so good, felt so good, to be small and powerless, handled like a doll in the grasp of a being far more powerful than he can possibly comprehend.

Now that Gordon knows that the craving is there, he also knows he'll never be able to fully suppress it, and that terrifies him because the only one in the world able to satisfy that lust is… Benrey. The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, forcing a panicked laugh out of him. Fear and excitement twist in his stomach. He doesn't even know what he feels for Benrey, other than he now craves them in a way that cannot be healthy for either of them.

"You've ruined me." He mumbles the words into Benrey's hair, oblivious to the way their body stiffens. He looks away. For now he'll have to leave it at that and try to get back to a sense of normalcy. Starting with food. "We need to eat something. And you promised me beer."

"Yeah bro, of course," Benrey says, their tone shifting from the simpering softness it had before back to something flat, casual. They pull away, their face looking paler than normal, softly glowing eyes staring down at the bed, away from Gordon. "Wanna set up camp? Bonfire, get drunk, tell sexy stories?"

A fire sounds good. Fire, beer, some food, maybe some s'mores, that all sounds good and normal, a nice, platonic way to bond. "Yeah," he says, easing out of Benrey's hold as they pull their hands back, awkwardly shuffling away, a hand raising to mess with their damp curls and subsequently hiding their face. "Sounds good."

Chapter Text

"If you want a campfire, we're going to need some wood," Gordon explains, crawling out of bed to track down where he'd put the lighter and fire starters. "Look for… for dry branches on the ground, both big and small. You think you can do that for me, ba—bud?"

As Gordon moves out of their embrace, Benrey does the best they can at embodying normal, pulling their legs close and wrapping both arms around them. For a moment they bury their face in their knees, overcome with the urge to scream. Drown out all the noise, let their mind slip back into that familiar place where all the troubling events of the last twenty-four hours cease to be, where everything is simple again. Their expression is perfectly devoid of feeling once they raise their head again.

"Fetch quest. Nice," Benrey says, putting the proper amount of humor into their voice. With Gordon acting so normal, it's easy to leech off of him to go back to where they were earlier, working together to accomplish tasks. That's how they're gonna keep the peace. "Gonna get so many sticks for that S-tier reward…"

Going their own separate ways will help Benrey stay zen. Nothing is wrong, in fact, nothing ever happened to begin with. The lake? Didn't happen. All that kissing? Vivid hallucination. The chance of anything coming from all of that is slim anyway. Obviously Gordon doesn't want them the way Benrey wants him. He hates them. It was just a fetish and some cuddle hormones, nothing more.

You've ruined me. Those words haunt them, reminding them of his breakdown that morning. He'd said something very similar, and it makes Benrey feel fucking sick. What are they doing wrong? They were just playing around, it could have been a joke if he hadn't kept encouraging them. So why did he say that? What did it mean?

Swallowing thickly, Benrey tries to breathe evenly, climbing out of the van by noclipping through the doors. Forget about all that drama and stress, it's stick hunting time. The task is mind numbing and allows for a lot of scenery watching, which is even nicer at this time of day, so far out from the city. The air is fresher out here, the sun warms their skin, and there's nothing to disturb them. Instead, there's a light wind blowing through the leaves, a distant trickling of running water, and the chirping of bugs.

Looking straight up at the pinks and golds of the setting sun is like looking into a painting, except the experience of actually being in that painting makes it feel like something far greater, instead of just a dull landscape by some old guy that doesn't matter to them at all. Maybe they should give landscape paintings more thought.

Eventually, they're drawn from their musings when they look down and see the pile of sticks they've been forming has gotten pretty high. Finding dry sticks in the New Mexico desert is laughably easy after all. A little disappointed that their excursion is over and they won't get to drift around thinking about paint and leaves or whatever anymore, they head back to the campsite to give Gordon his sticks.

- ♡ -

It's not until Gordon's located all the items he needs for dinner that he realizes he's alone, his words dying on the tip of his tongue as he turns to find an empty trunk. Oh, right. He'd asked Benrey to fetch some firewood. Well, that's good. That they're gone. Now, he can be alone for once, with no one to bother him, where he can think normal thoughts, normal, sane thoughts. Nothing about kissing and fucking his mortal enemy. Even if they are really attractive and nice to him all of a sudden.

But, as he brings his supplies out to the campfire set up nearby, he starts to doubt himself. The solitude does not give him the reprieve he'd hoped for. Instead, his heart rate skyrockets, paranoia and fear creeping up his back.

What if Benrey doesn't come back? What if they've left him out here? They got what they wanted, right, a quick fuck? Now they've left him behind, left him to fend for themself while they go find something more entertaining. Of course, it was absurd to think they'd hang around here forever, futzing about with a disaster like him. He can hardly handle himself in a fight, couldn't get through Black Mesa without losing an arm and making it everyone else's problem. They must be so fed up with him and his endless drama.

What is he going to do without them here to protect him? Reaching up, he traces the cut on his cheek, the bandaid having been removed for his dip in the lake earlier. He couldn't even handle one headcrab. It won't take long before something shows up to take him out, and he won't be able to take them down, not on his own. Not when some of them are…

No, it's better if he goes out on his own terms. Better if he finishes what he started this morning. The gun is still in the van, he could just…

"Delivery, sir."

Benrey's voice jolts Gordon out of the pit his thoughts had fallen into, whipping around to catch sight of them standing nearby, offering up their cat ear hoodie that they've used to hold all the sticks they've gathered. Stunned, his eyes flick from their face to the sticks and back, having trouble reconciling his thoughts with reality.

"Bro, you good?" Benrey prompts, standing stiff with their arms held out, like an NPC with only one animation.

"Where—" Gordon chokes, pausing to try and collect himself, shame creeping up his spine as he swallows past a lump in his throat. What was he thinking? Is he so pathetic as to fall apart that quickly, after… what, ten minutes of isolation? He turns away, face pale. "Just… tell me if you're gonna run off again. I don't wanna have to babysit you, man, wondering where the hell you're running off to all the time."

His shame has turned to anger, apparently, which just turns to more shame. He shouldn't be talking to them this way, not when they've done nothing wrong. Fuck, is this his life now? Unable to handle being alone for fifteen minutes without falling ass first into suicidal thoughts? He needs therapy, and he needs a lot of it.

There's a frown on Benrey's face, teal sweet voice drifting out of them in a short stream that Gordon can't translate. "Sorry," they say. "Didn't realize you weren't ready for alone time." Gordon flinches. That theory about their alien mind reading powers wasn't true, right? They didn't just look into his brain just now? "Bad job, second rate Dom, license revoked. Got your sticks though. Wanna make some fire babies?"

A weak, breathy laugh parts Gordon's lips at their weird little joke. "Yeah. Let's… let's do that," he assents, guiding Benrey over to where they can place their haul. "Nice work. This should keep the fire burning for at least a couple of hours."

There's some log benches arranged around the campfire, and as Gordon sits down on one, he pats the space next to him in invitation automatically, before turning away to dig through the bag he brought out with him, eventually unearthing a can of soup. All he has is to get a good ember going and he can heat it up over that. He'd never expected to be salivating over off-brand canned soup, but the apocalypse changes you in more ways than you can imagine.

Turning back around with his newfound meal, Gordon spots Benrey sitting on the bench adjacent to his, their hands resting on the seat, gaze set on the unlit fire pit. The sting of rejection takes Gordon by surprise. He'd thought… no, it doesn't matter. It wouldn't be a good idea to go getting too close to Benrey anyway. There's still a chance they'll leave, and he can't go getting too dependent.

"So how we make fire," Benrey says, not quite with the inflection of a question. "Wan'… see it, authentic. Slap those rocks, daddy."

Gordon wheezes a laugh at Benrey's ridiculous phrasing. Setting the soup can aside, he focuses on the bonfire, willing the weirdness in his mind to leave him. "Okay, so, the secret to a good campfire is to make sure it has a lot of oxygen in the beginning, that's why you stack the sticks like this." He creates a little pyramid out of the sticks in the pit. "But if you want fire that burns for long you'll either need bigger firewood, or to keep the one you have more tightly packed. Less oxygen makes a slower fire."

"Slow fire," Benrey repeats, nodding sagely.

It's clear they have no idea what he's talking about, but that doesn't matter. Explaining stuff like this, especially things related to physics, feels good. At least this makes sense; there are rules that need to be followed, and if you do, you get the same exact result most of the time. It's much simpler than human interaction, which is part of why he got into theoretical physics in the first place.

Gordon spends some time placing branches into the fire, arranging them in a way that will get them some ideal ember coverage when it's burned down properly. Though it'll take some time to get to where he can safely cook soup, so for now, he fishes up a pre-dinner treat: the marshmallows. One of the perks of being an adult is that you can eat s'mores before dinner, and no one can tell you to stop.

"You ever roasted marshmallows before?" he asks, picking one up from the bag and holding it out for Benrey to take, their eyes latching onto it with a blank stare. Best to let them try one first. Gordon has no idea if they have a sweet tooth or not but considering all the soda he's seen them drink, it's not that unlikely.

Gordon watches in rapt fascination as Benrey accepts the treat, closely observing it with one eye squinted like they're trying to appraise a gem and squishing it between their fingers over and over again. "Weird," they mutter, sticking out their tongue and wrapping it around the marshmallow, dragging it into their mouth like some kind of lizard. They barely chew for two seconds before their eyes go as round as dinner plates, slitted pupils dilating like a cat watching a toy. Once they've finished eating, they start making grabby hand gestures at Gordon. "More please. Thank you."

"Sure, man," he laughs. The bag is only held out towards them for a moment before they've snatched it up to shove enough marshmallows into their mouth to have their cheeks puffing out, lips stained with candy. Not that Gordon minds. If they're gonna look that excited about it, they can have as many as they want. "Hey, you wanna see something cool?"

As they stare up at him with big, curious eyes, jaw straining to chew all the marshmallows in their gaping maw, Gordon grabs a knife from his bag, standing and heading over to a nearby tree. Cutting two sticks out of the bark, he heads back, holding one out for Benrey to take. This is the best way to roast marshmallows without setting the roasting stick on fire, or so he's found. Heading back to his seat, he leans over to fish two marshmallows out of the bag in Benrey's lap, impaling them on the pointed ends of each stick.

"I'm gonna show you how to do this, because roasting the perfect marshmallow is an art, not something you'll master on the first try," Gordon explains, carefully holding out both sticks towards the fire in search of the perfect spot where the heat creates that nice, golden crust without burning.

As he turns them back and forth, humming to himself as he does, Benrey watches with great interest, mesmerized by the sight of the flames licking the sugary treats. Once they're perfectly toasted, he assembles two s'mores each, with double crackers because he's not an animal, holding one out for Benrey to take.

"It might still be a bit hot still, so don't just—" Before he can even get the words out, Benrey's gobbled it up, a startled noise escaping him at the sight. The flavor seems to hit them quickly, their eyes lighting up and growing comically wide as Gordon lets out a chuckle. It's with a sense of pride that he watches them enjoy their treat, cheeks puffing out as they chew, lips stained by the chocolate and melted bits of marshmallow, and their eyes watering as they swallow it down.

"Bro this is sex," they say, their astonishment evident in their tone. "This is lewd. You're seducing me."

Their exclamation has him barking another laugh, heat mixing with the satisfaction coiling in the pit of his stomach. Now, this—this is something he can do, something he can contribute. Even if he can't protect them, even if they don't need him to survive, at least he can show them new and wonderful things like this. This way, he has value, and can be something Benrey wants to keep despite how useless he is otherwise.

"Wow, it was that easy, huh?" Gordon quips. "Didn't even have to use my feet or anything." He lifts up one of his boots as he says that. That's when the memory of Benrey's tentacles dipping between his toes hits him again, heat rising to his cheeks. He does his best to hide it, gazing up at the purple and pink sky overhead. "You want me to show you how to make another one, or you wanna try for yourself?"

"Yuh. Please," they respond, scooting over a little closer to the edge of their bench, where they're closer to Gordon. "Both. Learn by do." They keep the bag of marshmallows in their lap while making a grabby gesture towards him for the stick he used, which he hands to them with a chuckle.

"The secret is not to hold it too close," Gordon instructs, sneaking glances over at Benrey as he demonstrates for them with a marshmallow of his own. "If you put it directly into the fire, it'll burn. You need to find that perfect spot and keep turning it over and over so it toasts evenly."

This would have been easier if they'd sat down beside him, where he could guide their hand, and they could have leaned into his side while he nuzzled into their neck. Some of the fog from earlier seeps back into Gordon's mind before he can stop it, his body heating up and relaxing at the same time as he stares over at Benrey, their long, soft curls cascading against their shoulders, golden eyes flicking back and forth between their hand and Gordon's. His own treat dips dangerously close to the fire before he can manage to get a grip, snapping himself out of his trance.

The fuck is wrong with him? He can't go looking at Benrey like that, just because they fooled around earlier. That shouldn't have happened, anyway, he's just… he's just stressed, and they provided an outlet. That's it. It's all over now, they're clearly not interested in doing it again. He's gotta get over this before he becomes a liability.

"And, uhhh… that's all there is to it," he finishes, holding out the sleeve of graham crackers and a bar of chocolate for them. Rest of it is just assembling."

- ♡ -

Following Gordon's lead is as easy as breathing—or perhaps even easier, as their every breath is simulated, but their ability to copy movement is innate. After getting the marshmallow on they idly twirl the stick a little, watching Gordon before moving to mirror him—though putting it so close to the fire looked like a mistake, considering he'd just told them not to do that, so they skip that part.

As their treats begin to change colors, Benrey's eyes flick up towards Gordon's face, catching something dazed in his eyes. Does he find this as mesmerizing as they do? Watching the flames curl through the air, the treats turning a nice, golden hue? Keeping their extra eyes on the fire and Gordon's hands, they direct their main pair at his face. He's so incredibly expressive that if Benrey only understood him a bit better, they might be able to read his every thought. The dizzy look in his eyes gets replaced by mild frustration or perhaps exasperation before his eyes clear, coming back to attention. What's he thinking about, they wonder.

The end result of their marshmallow roast doesn't look as good as Gordon's, but they still think they did a pretty good job. Silently, they reach out for the rest of the ingredients, fingers brushing Gordon's and sending a tingle up their wrist. Their breath stutters, but they do their best to ignore it and continue on as if nothing happened. They're still waiting for Gordon to formally rescind on everything they've done in the past hour or so, claiming it was a mistake or worse.

They don't want to think about that, though, they want treats. Assembling the sandwich the way they're pretty sure it's supposed to go, they squash it together, enjoying the feeling and the way the chocolate begins to melt from the heat of the marshmallow.

"What are these called again," they say, missing the inflection of a question but still being one all the same. Without waiting for a response, they fit the whole thing in their mouth, having a lot more space (and teeth) than a human being to fit things inside. Like snacks. It's just as tasty as last time, with such a smooth texture and creamy consistency that they can't help but moan to show their appreciation without being rude and talking with their mouth full.

As they lift their eyes to catch Gordon's glance, they notice his fingers trailing over some of the slowly fading circular marks on his arm. Remembering the way he'd been touching them earlier, Benrey can't help but wonder if they hurt. They've experienced them themself, but they don't feel pain the way humans do; they could, but only if they wanted to. What they do know is that those sucker marks feel good to toy with, and thinking back on when Gordon was doing that to himself by the lake makes heat flash through Benrey's body. They're quick to look away, not wanting to make this weird again even if their body does crave more.

"They're s'mores," Gordon explains, as Benrey continues chewing their tasty cinnamon chocolate treat. "I dunno why it's called that. Sounds cute though."

Swallowing down their snack, Benrey jokes. "'Cuz like, gimme s'more heheh—"

Their chuckle cuts off with an abrupt gasp at the feel of Gordon's thumb against their cheek, swiping away a speck of chocolate. The way they lean towards his touch feels outside their control, thoughts spiraling into territories like suck on it or kiss him such that their breaths go weird before they can pull away. The heat that blooms inside them has them feeling like their hands should shake or they should be making some strange expression, but their face is blank and their grip is steady as they put another marshmallow on the end of their stick.

"Bro, where's your soup?" Benrey asks, the change in subject painfully obvious, but their mind isn't working fast enough to get back onto their last topic. Especially when they're thinking some really weird things, like Gordon licking the chocolate off their face, as they turn towards him, a hand grasping the side of his face while they kiss him, tasting the chocolate on his tongue and…

They inhale deeply, distracting themself with roasting their marshmallow like Gordon showed them to, almost fucking up immediately by shoving it in way too close to the flames. They quickly correct themself, but the act of doing so reminds them of how Gordon had just done that himself. Now they're wondering if he's thinking the same thing as them. If he is, what does that mean?

No, they don't want to think about that. Instead they run the name "s'mores" over and over in their brain until it doesn't sound like a word anymore.

Ignoring the disappointed look on Gordon's face—What does that mean? No, stop thinking about it—they focus on their snack, as Gordon says, "Yeah, I think we have enough of an ember now."

Moving the coals in the fire around with a thick stick, Gordon makes room for his, whatever that thing is, to cook his meal on. It's some kind of small pot, that's about all they can figure out. As he works, Benrey does their best to focus on toasting their next snack. This turns out to be a monumental task—even sitting on a different bench, they feel far too close to Gordon, especially when he keeps being so cute, casting dazed glances their way or touching his sucker marks between tasks. (What does it mean, what the fuck does it mean—)

Even worse, Benrey keeps glancing over at him as well, vividly imagining what it would be like if they just set everything aside and got up to kiss him. Held his face in their hands, climbed into his lap, felt his hands wrap around their lower back as a shiver ran through them.

The thought dissipates as Gordon gets up to dig through his supplies. A barely audible sigh escapes Benrey, trying not to look at him anymore lest their thoughts continue to wander. But now that they've had a taste of him, their body desperately craves more. It feels impossible not to occupy their mind with thoughts of him in all sorts of situations, things they could do right now, even. But he has to eat and they can't be climbing all over him, they had freaky sex one time and for all they know that's the only time it'll ever happen.

Pulling their stick back, they frown a little at the state of their fluffy treat, slightly burnt such that they have to start picking bits of it off. They're about to get up to grab the chocolate and graham crackers when Gordon makes a request of them.

"Hey," they hear, raising their gaze to see Gordon approaching them. "Can you open this? With—With your claws I mean. I don't have a can opener." A can of tomato soup is held out in his hand, a finger tapping against the sealed lid. "Please?"

"Yeah. Sure." It takes Benrey a moment to try and figure out where to put the stick they're holding, but eventually they just give up and reach out with one hand, sinking their claws into the aluminum like it's butter and tearing a neat ring around the lid. It makes them feel like a literal cat burglar, like in the cartoons, clawing a perfect circle into glass so they can steal some oversized diamond. In this case, though, all they take back with them is a bit of soup stuck to their fingers, which they take the time to lick off, sticking their tongue out at the taste. "Ew. Bro, you eat like this?"

As they raise their gaze, they catch sight of the strange look in Gordon's wide, dark eyes, his gaze fixated on their claws. Is he scared? Was that too much? A shiver wracks his body before he jerkily turns away, letting out a forced sounding chuckle.

"Don't have a choice," he says. "I have some freeze dried stuff too, but it isn't much better. I'm just happy I get to eat something warm that doesn't come in a wrapper."

Even with Gordon's explanation, they still make disgusted little blech noises at him before snatching up the rest of the s'mores ingredients, commandeering them for themself. Once they've got all of them, they sit and watch Gordon pour his soup into his little baby pot, nestling it amongst the embers where he detaches the handle.

"Bro, you broke it," they mumble, jabbing another marshmallow onto the end of their stick.

"What? No, that's to keep it from getting hot," Gordon explains.

"Good job breaking it," Benrey presses, holding their treat out over the flames. To their delight, Gordon laughs, tucking the handle away in the pocket of his ripped black jeans.

"You're so fucking weird, man."

The exchange has giddiness blooming inside Benrey like a garden full of flowers and little buzzing honeybees. Watching him laugh and smile in the light of the setting sun, a golden glow cast against his face from the flames, Benrey bites their bottom lip, their yearning for him compelling them to get up and do something about it. But they don't. What they do instead is stare so much they nearly burn another marshmallow. Luckily, it's salvageable.

Putting together another s'more, they stuff it in their mouth, savoring it like all the rest as they lean back in their seat, gazing up at the sky overhead rapidly changing colors as day turns to night. They wonder how long it'll take for it to get cold. Immediate? Few hours? Glancing back down, they find their hoodie being used as a mat for the rest of the sticks Gordon told them to fetch earlier. It's not really warm enough to help them when the fabled desert cold hits anyway.

They go back to watching Gordon again. They've never really seen anyone cook in person, and there's something very novel about it, reminding them of cooking in Skyrim. It's fun, like brewing potions but for dinner. Though Gordon isn't adding anything to his concoction, he's just heating everything that was in the can, which is… boring.

"Hey how do you make soup?" they ask suddenly, once they've swallowed down their treat. Picking up another marshmallow, they get to work making another one. "Do you just put things in water and make hot or what."

In their mind's eye, they see water and chopped up fish in some sort of stew, maybe with carrots—being one of the only vegetables they know right off the top of their head—and… mushrooms? Little green leafy things? It sounds adventurous and fun, like exactly the type of experience they want out of this camping trip.

"Hmm," Gordon hums, as Benrey's main set of eyes look over to him, the rest focused on the treat they're roasting over the open flames. "You know what? How about I tell you a story." Curious, Benrey leans forward, propping their chin up on their available hand. "Once upon a time, there was an old traveler, knocking on the door to a farm…"

As Gordon launches into his tale, he speaks clearly and confidently, gesturing animatedly as he usually does. It makes Benrey feel like a child gathering around to listen to their mother tell them a story, except of course they have no frame of reference for what that's actually like.

"…The traveler told the farmer that he had a magic nail… not the one on your finger, but the kind you hammer into a plank," Gordon is saying, as Benrey nods to show they understand. "If I put this nail into hot water it turns into the most delicious soup, the traveler said."

Oh god, he's doing voices. That's so cute, the hell? This really is like gathering around for a bedtime story, cozy in bed with an old storybook in their mother's hands, when most nights he'd just make up the story and only pretend to read the book. That's what they imagine, anyway—they imagine a family where they share a bedroom with their brothers, one who's a troublemaker like them, and the other, more caring and responsible. Their mother would be a kind, but stern and hardworking woman who cared deeply for all three of them.

"…The whole family gathered around to see the magic of the nail at work," Gordon continues. "The traveler put the nail into the pot, took out a spoon and tasted the water. It's good, he said, one of the better soups it has ever produced, but some salt will make it better. The farmer took out a pouch and added some salt to the pot…"

That's when it hits them. Gordon is a father, which is so crazy to think about. There's a little mini Freeman wandering around out there, that he raised from birth, held while he cried, kissed his tiny little head and taught him all sorts of things. Benrey never expected to find themself attracted to dads, but, thinking about all that has them feeling so soft.

"…The farmer sent his son to bring some chicken for the soup, and again everyone waited as the traveler tasted it. Almost perfect, the traveler told his audience, let's just add some vegetables, some carrots and potatoes, onions as well, if you have it…"

What about them? Could Benrey ever hope to experience that? They've never even met a child, except for when they were a child, which doesn't count. Would they ever know what it feels like to bring a life into the world like that? Or even just to hold one in their arms and know the kind of potential the little thing has, to grow up and be whatever they want to be? The thought has them feeling horribly emotional for more than one reason, so they quickly swap tracks back to thinking about the actual story.

"…After tasting the soup one last time, the traveler exclaimed that the soup was perfect, the best his nail had ever made. The family ladled up all the soup into bowls, giving the largest to the traveler since it was his nail that had produced the soup after all. Everyone agreed that it was the best soup they've ever tasted, and that it was truly magical that a nail could produce such a delicious soup."

There's a big, proud smile on Gordon's face as he finishes his tale, waiting expectantly for Benrey's reaction. They find there's two things they can glean from Gordon's tale—that guy totally hustled those idiots for free soup, and also, that sounds like a soup recipe. Water, salt, meat, carrots, potatoes, onions… They can do that, right? Be a Skyrim irl?

Rather than share any of these insights, though, Benrey pulls back their now tasty, golden brown treat, and says, "Wouldn't eating a nail kill you?"

Gordon wheezes a laugh at their takeaway. "No, they—they won't eat the nail. It's at the bottom of the pot or something." Obviously, they figured that out, but they got what they wanted from saying it anyway, which is getting to hear Gordon laugh. A few green bubbles drift out of their mouth as they prepare their next s'more. "Anyway, that's basically soup… minus the nail. Not this one though." Putting the handle back on the pot, he picks it up, the red soup inside bubbling and steaming. "This one is tomato and…" he pauses to check the can. "Noodles, huh."

The green streaming out of their mouth turns teal when Gordon holds out the bowl for them. Looking up, they see him with two small, plastic bowls in his hand, a serving of soup and a plastic spoon in each. "You can keep eating s'mores if you don't like it," he reassures them.

They glance from it down to their treat, not sure how they're going to hold both until it occurs to them that they can shapeshift, that they've been doing it for days now without Gordon running and screaming, so it's okay to keep doing it. Forming another arm to hold the treat with, they reach out to accept the soup, holding it in both hands like it's a massive cup of tea. They stare down into it, clueless. Of course they've seen soup before, but they've never known what to expect it to taste like. Tomatoes are in pizza, so this is like… pizza… noodle soup? That doesn't make any fucking sense.

Lifting it up to their mouth, they take a slow sip, letting the tomatoes and bits of noodles wash over their tongue. A grimace instantly overtakes their expression, body tensing up with disgust. It's… not very good.

But the heat that floods their mouth and flows down their throat into the rest of their body is alluring, so they keep drinking it despite the taste, just to feel more of that warmth suffusing throughout their body. Steam escapes their mouth as they exhale, staring down at it such that it makes them go cross-eyed. "Whuh… bro I'm a dragon," they say, a hint of awe in their voice.

The look on Gordon's face is almost too soft to look directly at. Heat rises to their face, quickly averting their gaze.

"Do you like it?" Gordon asks.

Benrey smacks their lips, glancing down at the soup in their lap. Seeing the drained bowl takes them by surprise. They hadn't even realized they'd finished the whole thing, so drawn into that feeling spreading throughout their body that they'd just kept going. Glancing from their bowl over to Gordon's, they notice him with his hand around the spoon, flicking back to their bowl where their spoon lays untouched. Oh. It was supposed to be like cereal, huh.

"It's gross," Benrey says, as Gordon lets out a startled noise. "Warm though. Like that part." They make some assorted mouth sounds, though not just for the sake of it—they want the taste off their tongue and they're trying to scrape it against their teeth like that'll help at all.

"You didn't have to eat it!" Gordon exclaims, as Benrey starts lapping at the graham crackers as a palate cleanser. "We can heat up something else if you're cold."

Benrey shrugs, shoving their s'more into their mouth as Gordon eats his soup. Silence drifts in as they both focus on eating, with Benrey swallowing down their treat and promptly making another, which they vow to be their last. Can't use up all of it now, won't be more later.

As they do so, they gaze up at the sky. It's almost completely dark out now, only a sliver of light peeking through the trees. Out of the corner of their eye they catch Gordon with his head tipped back to watch the first few stars starting to twinkle overhead. The two of them bask in the quiet atmosphere for a while, listening to the sound of crickets joined by the rustling of the wind through the trees.

Out here, it's much easier to see the stars than in the city, or in the outdoor areas of Black Mesa. It's kind of strange to think that there's a whole universe out there. A whole other world where they were, presumably, born or hatched, and now they're here. With…

They look over at Gordon, enjoying some of the graham crackers with his soup. It makes Benrey wonder, what would their life have been like if they'd never come here? Would they feel this sense of longing for something more, for everything they're missing out on, or would they feel fine, because they've never have known any of it to begin with?

Would there be others like them on Xen? There's none in their memory of being a little baby on Xen, and they never saw any when they were there a few days ago, which makes them wonder. Would they even know what to look for? If they can change shape, how would they know what other "thems" even look like? Maybe they did see another member of their species, and they had no idea.

Uncomfortable with this line of thought, they finish up their s'more and immediately stuff it into their mouth, making it the sloppiest one yet, but it's all the same once it's mashed up in their mouth. This is far too much thought, which makes Gordon's next words very welcome.

"I'm gonna go grab the beer," he announces, now finished with his soup, which he sets aside on the unused bench.

While he's gone, Benrey does the same, as well as carefully folding up all the s'mores ingredients next to the bowls. By the time they're done, Gordon comes jogging back from the van with the case of beer. They reach out to accept his offer of a bottle, promptly popping the cap with their teeth and eating it. While Gordon laughs at the sight, he ends up showing off how he can do the same, a sight that has their brows climbing into their hairline. They've seen a few humans do that, but hadn't expected it from Gordon.

As Gordon sits back down, they hold out their bottle in invitation for a toast, saying, "Clink clink, bitch," and hoping he'll get it. Thankfully, he does, clinking his bottle to theirs with a, "Cheers." Tipping their head back, Benrey takes a long drink, enjoying the burn that comes with it, as Gordon does the same. It tastes pretty strong, and not particularly cheap, either. They lucked out. Looks like they'll be getting crazy tonight, after all.

"Ahhhh fuck, that hit the spot," Gordon groans, as Benrey can't help but hum teal in agreement. Catching movement in their corner of their eye, they see Gordon lowering onto the ground, and decide to follow suit, moving onto the floor and leaning their head back against the log bench.

Staring up at the stars, Benrey tilts their head to one side, long, dark hair pooling up on the log beneath them and around their shoulders. The air is growing chilly already but they don't quite mind it yet, not with the heat from the flames nearby. The alcohol should help them feel warmer, even if they aren't actually, so they take another drink, unconcerned with how much they down in a single gulp. There's a whole twelve pack between them, which they would guess is plenty. They never really paid attention to that sort of thing, so they're not sure.

When Gordon starts speaking, it draws Benrey away from their meditative stargazing. "One time," he says, continuing to stare up at the stars, while Benrey gazes at him, instead, appreciating the light of the flames dancing across his lightly freckled face in the darkness of the night. "Back in college, I was at this camp party and we ended up sleeping in these tents on some air mattresses. Woke up the morning after and—" He interrupts himself to giggle at the memory. "—And my asshole friends had pushed my mattress out into the lake. I had to swim back, nearly froze my balls off."

Listening intently to his story reveals a fraction of the man's backstory that Benrey has never really thought about before. There's a huge gap between his childhood and adulthood that Benrey knows nothing about, much like how that same period in their own life is a blur. Since they don't have anything to say about it, it often feels like no one else does, either.

Idly, they spin the bottle around in their hands, staring into the flames of the campfire as they mull over this new information. A small smirk tugs at their lips—the reaction they think is appropriate to Gordon's story.

"Bet you got pranked on a lot," they prompt, not really sure what else to say. They're still running a simulation in their mind, Gordon_gets_pranked.exe, trying to picture what it would be like—a younger Freeman, all his nerd friends, having fun as dumb young adults do. It's around then that they realize that nasty feeling gathering in the pit of their stomach is envy. "Funny to see you get all worked up."

Gordon chuckles as they say that. "Ohhh man, we used to prank each other all the time! Got one of my buddies to pay me ten bucks for a bag of oregano that I told him was weed. He even smoked it, acted all high and shit."

His chuckle turns into a wheezing laugh, as Benrey's smile grows genuine, wide and fond, their head tilting more towards him as they watch his face light up more and more with each tale.

"One time," Gordon continues. "My old roommate, Jeff, he put post-it notes all over my car, like literally covered it. And it was the morning of a test so I only got, like, the stickers off the windshields, had to drive to school with the rest of it still covered. I was lucky no cops saw me or I definitely would have gotten a ticket for littering."

It's amazing to think of Gordon as having ever been the type to enjoy pranks when he never seemed to like Benrey's, but maybe things are different now. The cannonball from earlier had gone over well, he even retaliated by starting a splash fight. It makes them wonder.

"How about you?" Gordon asks, as Benrey blinks, surprised to be addressed. "You like pranks, right, even did a few on me. Did Tommy teach you that stuff, or…?"

They watch as Gordon reaches for a second bottle, unaware he's even had the time to finish the first. They've been watching him, staring at the way the flames reflect in his vivid emerald eyes and how his throat moves when he drinks, soft, plush lips pressing against the tip of the bottle. It's put them in such a daze, they haven't registered details like how much he's drinking—and they haven't been drinking, either. They quickly rectify that, downing the remainder of their bottle and setting it aside.

"No," they answer. "Tommy's pranks are, like, bad. I, uh…"

How should they put this? It's not going to be like Gordon's stories at all. They reach for another bottle, mostly just to have something to do with their hands, but also so maybe the alcohol will flush this anxiety out of their system. The things they can think of are things Gordon won't want to hear, and it takes a few minutes of silence before they can think of anything to say.

"When I was little kid, I found out, peeps get real mad over dumb stuff," Benrey explains. "So I used to mess around. Put salt in people's drinks and tacks in their chairs and stuff like that."

Those are the tame things, though; they also remember discovering electricity and tricking people into touching things that would shock them, which now they're realizing probably had a much greater effect than they thought it did. They also remember putting hazards in the stairwells so people would trip, and pouring dangerous chemicals into the coffee pot.

"That's probably why they stopped letting me wander," they muse, biting their tongue once the words are already out. That's dour, isn't it? Even Gordon looks stricken by it. Fuck. Not funny. They quickly think of something else. "Uhhh, put gum in Tommy's hair once. He had this mullet, it was the worst, not after that though. He was really mad…"

That seems to do it—much to their surprise, Gordon starts wheezing with laughter, spurring them on to name even more things. Maybe these stories aren't as bad as they thought.

"So, so, then, I uh," they continue, growing excited as Gordon continues to laugh at their stories. "I used to, went into the guard's shower room and just, uh, replaced shit. Like shampoo with hair dye, you ever seen, uh, Howl's Moving Castle? Like that but like a lot of really macho dudes freaking out because they hair pink. Couldn't fuckin' handle it, real end of the world shit. And I used to be the only one awake after they all passed out when we'd be up drinking and I'd do all sorts of stuff, sharpie dicks on they faces, you know, A CLASSIC, or prop them up in the hallway so they'd all get in trouble.

"OH, and this one time I phased through the mirror when this guy was brushing his teeth and claimed I was the ghost of Christmas past and he actually pissed himself—" Benrey starts cackling at this one, especially as Gordon is now laughing so hard there are tears streaming down his face.

"I—I can't hhhhhhhaahahahahahah…"

"AND THEN," they continue, dramatically throwing their arms out. "I crawled backwards out of the TV in the staff room, hair in my face, but I got in soooooo trouble, even though it was REALLY FUNNY!"

Gordon's energetic laughter has Benrey howling as well, more amused by how much he's laughing than by any of their stories. New waves of giggles wash over them both even as they've managed to get the last ones under control, until they're just sitting there laughing like idiots, and Benrey feels happier than they've possibly ever been in their life.

That's when Gordon pushes up, crawling over to plop himself down right next to Benrey, whose laughter tapers off as they stare up at him in total surprise. An arm is slung over their shoulder, and Benrey's heart promptly loses its shit, a strange noise coming out of them as they notice his hand squeezing their shoulder. A wide smile spreads across their lips, and they nuzzle into Gordon's shoulder, feeling warm from more than just the alcohol. The press of his body against theirs gives them such a rush, they can hardly believe he's doing this willingly.

It takes a long gulp from his bottle for Gordon to finally calm himself. "Oh, man," he says. "You would have fit right in with my old gang. Bunch of little shits, the whole lot of them. You would have liked them."

His words have them glancing up, watching him with a sense of affection and intense longing, a longing for the world he's talking about, where they grew up together, and Benrey would still be there in college to show Gordon's nerd friends what a real prank looks like. Maybe once the world is put back together again they'll have something similar, with Tommy and the rest of the science team, or maybe someone new entirely.

Gordon's head tips to one side, his cheek resting against the top of their head, and it takes every iota of willpower in Benrey's body not to let out a high pitched whine in response. They don't need this alcohol at all—if he keeps acting like this, they'll be plenty warm without it.

In a show of solemnity, Gordon raises his bottle skyward, and Benrey copies the gesture before even knowing what it's for. "To Jeff," he says, slurring his words a little.

"Yeah, to that guy," Benrey adds, before they both down the remainder of their bottles in one go. Even though Benrey has a lot more left in theirs, it doesn't matter; they can't get sick like humans do. Once they're done, they shove the bottle into their mouth length-wise and eat it like a bunch of hardened sugar as opposed to glass. The sound has Gordon jerking away from them, before he breaks down into another fit of giggles. With the bottle gone, he grabs two more for the both of them before settling back in where he was before, a sense of pure elation washing over Benrey as a result.

"Hey," Gordon starts, as Benrey pops the cap off their bottle and eats it, their gaze dropping down to where Gordon's thick, strong hands are wrapped around the bottle in his grasp. "How did you and Tommy meet, anyway?"

The question doesn't register at first, too high off the excitement of all the laughter to think clearly. Tommy is their closest friend, easily, they've known him longer than anyone. Many good times to be had. But the start is something that makes Benrey a little uneasy, requiring them to drink a hell of a lot more before they start, downing half the bottle before speaking.

"Saw him through the glass," Benrey explains. "Couldn't think much back then. But Tommy's like… he's not like them, didn'know whyyy but, I jus', wanted watch him. And no one liked him! They were big mean to him cuz he kept causing problems, said it wasn', uh…"

It takes awhile for Benrey to find the word they're looking for. "Humane. Made them raise the thermy-stat and stop cutting me open—" Gordon's breath stutters, his grip tightening around his bottle. "—Everyone hated that. He gave me soft clothes and let me wander even though they said I'd kill again if I wandered, but, didn't wan' do that anymore. Sucked out of me. Just follow him around instead. Let me hug so I just, leeched on him like, uh, glue. An' he let me play his gamecube and Beyblades and stuff."

Curling their legs closer, Benrey takes another sip of their drink, taking the moment to think as they stare out at the fire. "He doesn't… normal. Get mad when I eated his Beyblades, nooo, he just, told me, spit it out! An' then we was fine. Twilight Zone. An' we watched stuff too, he's into movies an' old shows. Called him mean names and he'd laugh. Drink all his soda and he'd pout like, little kid stuff, sticking our tongues out and making noises and, Tommy's great.

"He got me the job… security guard, whoa. Convinced Big Brother I could be useful and live like a normal. Behaved. Just a little creacher, can trust with loaded gun prommy. Uh they didn't give me the gun for a long time though."

Just thinking about all that is making Benrey's heart hurt. They miss Tommy terribly all of a sudden, though their minimap says the man is perfectly fine off in his corner of the world, and they'll get to see him soon.

- ♡ -

The more Benrey tells him, the more the actual reality of their words settle in Gordon's mind, and the more his heart breaks. He'd… understood, to an extent, what Benrey must have been through in the past, hearing them gripe about scientists, talking about "Big Brother", their lack of understanding over how humans work.

Now he feels like he fully understands. So many things click into place; the "pita cutting room", the cages, Bubby's fear of "the tube". It seems like while he was crunching numbers on the upper floors, Black Mesa was conducting atrocities in the basement. Another part of his guilt falls away, replaced with a grim disappointment that he hadn't shot more of the scientists in the lower sections.

When Benrey describes their relationship with Tommy, Gordon finds it easy to spot some parallels. Benrey's teasing that Tommy had only laughed at or gently scolded had driven Gordon to anger and violence. Their pleas for affection, the very same they'd seek from Tommy, met with scorn and insults.

A new brand of guilt starts to burn in his chest, one that has him put the bottle down and wrap his arms around Benrey's shoulders, pulling them against his chest.

"Bwuh—Gordon…?"

Over the past week, he's seen a lot of shit that's left him broken and traumatized, but Benrey has gone through twenty-two years of being treated as subhuman, a lab rat with only one person who's ever shown them any compassion. By all accounts, they should have ripped them all apart during the final boss fight. It was the ultimate betrayal of trust from the only person they thought they could rely on. And yet, they hadn't. 

They hadn't done anything.

Gordon tightens his grip around them, but it's not enough, not close enough. Tugging them into his lap, where they let out a surprise stream of pink and yellow sweet voice bubbles, he cradles them against his chest, a hand carding into their hair as they make a strange noise right by his ear. What can he even say? Apologizing feels hollow, a tiny bandaid slapped over a gaping wound. But saying nothing isn't good enough, either.

"Tommy is amazing," he says. It's not a new sentiment, he's held an incredible respect for the man ever since he first brandished a gun, turning into the most reliable member of the team. It wasn't a lie when he'd said Tommy was the only one he could trust, back then. As he starts to ramble, he hears the gentle click of Benrey's bottle being set down against the bench, their arms wrapped around his neck, claws stroking through his hair. "I—I'm not Tommy, but I can… if you still want to, I can try to… I won't get mad, ok?"

As his hand rubs a soothing circle against Benrey's upper back, Gordon realizes he has no idea what he's even trying to say. It's all just spilling out, the drink loosening his lips. Until it hits him, the word Benrey's thrown around so much, the word that could be used to describe their relationship to Tommy.

"I can be your friend, if… I like hugs, too, you know?"

- ♡ -

Though troubling, Benrey hadn't expected their story to resonate much. Their whole life looks a bit like that, and at some point you have to get used to it, and they have. But, Gordon asked, and the part of their brain that would rather not face this stuff is getting drowned out by the alcohol in their system.

Being a little dizzy from the beer and with their brain working even more sluggishly than normal, Benrey takes a moment to properly arrange their limbs to be more comfortable in Gordon's lap, uncertain what's going on or why. Not that they're gonna look a hug-horse in the mouth. No way. They take full advantage, nuzzling their face against his as their arms wrap around him, grabbing a huge chunk of his hair to knead and stroke.

Ever since their reunion at Black Mesa, Gordon's been just like all the other scientists, hostile and resentful of their existence. It only took them until this morning to realize that, to break out of their sunshine and rainbows fantasy to face their oldest friend seeing them as nothing more than a villain, a monster.

It's because of that that his offer of friendship hits them like a fucking truck, eyes blowing wide open as tears spring forth, hands shaking around chestnut strands of hair. Their opinion of Gordon is being rapidly overwritten. He's not like the other scientists, he's good. He's been good, but like them, he was misled, misinformed.

Inhaling deeply, Benrey exhales with a shudder that wracks their whole body. "Cool," they choke, emotion dragging down their every syllable as tears slip down their cheeks. That's all they ever wanted; his friendship. "I thought… I thought about… about you… on repeat," they babble, not sure why they're bringing this up, but they can't stop now that they've started. "Playing together… building sand castles and, mud pies… playing like, like real…"

Their voice cracks, unable to finish that sentence. All the emotion they've kept down floods them at once, burying their face into Gordon's neck and sobbing like an idiot child. Their arms tighten around them, pulling themself closer against Gordon's body. A large hand cups the back of their head, cradling them against his neck where they feel something wet drip against their skin. That's when they realize; Gordon is crying, too. Why? Why does he care so much, why is he doing this?

Rather than ask all those questions, they continue to sob, clutching desperately to Gordon as rose red sweet voice erupts from their mouth, flooding the space around them. They mourn the life they didn't get to have, the friends that were torn away from them, every betrayal and broken heart and every single moment of torture they'd prefer to forget. They let it all out, sniffling and wailing their despairing aria as their tears soak Gordon's hair, his stubby nails stroking against their scalp.

It feels as though an eternity passes before their sobs turn into hiccups and shuddering breaths, turning their face to bury it in Gordon's hair, tugged loose from its ponytail. The strands smell of his shampoo, like friendship and togetherness, and their heart feels full to bursting, a dull ache surrounding their chest. Fitting their body against Gordon's and leaning fully into him is endlessly soothing, keeping them warm even as the nighttime chill starts creeping in.

"Benrey," Gordon speaks up, as their eyes flutter open, moisture clinging to their lashes. "Let's… Let's do it. Play or, or whatever else. Let's—I wanna show you things, new things, there's so much… We can do anything you want, okay? Just ask. I want… I want this too, for us to be friends."

The hand cradling the back of their head moves, coaxing them into leaning back, where he can look at their tear streaked face. As they look up at Gordon, sniffling and feeling super gross like some ball of slime or something, they see his honesty shining through in the earnest look in his eyes.

This is all they ever wanted and far more than they thought they'd ever get. Hand holding seemed like it would be a lot, a little kiss on the cheek maybe, but now, they've had sex, they've kissed, they've held each other like they'd die otherwise. It's exactly the kind of intensity Benrey wants, matched perfectly by how they feel, even if Gordon can't match their feelings. He doesn't even remember when they used to play together. That's fine, they suppose, so long as they get to make new memories together.

And that's what he's promising—even in a broken world there's still so much they can see, like the lake and the stars and s'mores and getting to drive a real car, and, everything. It's all so exciting, if only they had the energy, they'd be grabbing onto his sleeve, begging to go see the bugs and flowers and fish and birds and an arcade and a movie theater and ice cream.

They lost the drive to dream about those things so long ago that they'd stopped caring, resigned to staying in their dorm playing video games and getting drunk and high with their new guard buddies while playing Beyblades with Tommy. That was all enough for them. Even now it's hard to find the energy to care sometimes, like the joy has been sucked out of everything. But Gordon's eager promise is reigniting that sense of childlike wonder and excitement in them.

Their lips work silently, not sure what to say, teeth digging into their bottom lip. Then, Gordon leans in to kiss their brow, his plush lips igniting a fire inside them. A shiver runs up their spine, overwhelmed by the level of affection they hold for this man.

The instant he pulls away, Benrey dives in to capture his lips with theirs. It's clumsy at first, but they tilt their head and try again, hands caressing the sides of his face as they pour all their feelings into the kiss, struggling to convey even an ounce of the love they hold for him. As they pull back, Gordon tilts his head, meeting them halfway when they dive back in. His hands find their neck, tongue pushing past their lips as they let out a soft moan, melting into his embrace and allowing him to explore the wet, sweet-tasting cavern of their mouth.

Their body feels tingly and warm, back arching into him as one of his hands finds its way up the back of their shirt, the warmth of his skin burning them like a brand. The sensation of skin on skin is alluring, and comforting for reasons Benrey can't quite understand or explain, though perhaps it's something to do with the devastating lack of it throughout their life, of warmth and human touch.

Does Gordon feel the same? The way he leans into the kiss, the way he touches them, are they allowed to believe it's love? Is it wise when they've had their heart broken so many times already?

As they pull back, they realize, they were never very smart anyway. Throwing caution to the wind, they kiss the corner of his mouth, down to his neck, his head tilting to the side to allow their tongue to taste the salt on his skin, coaxing a soft moan out of him that's like music to their ears. Kissing over the shell of his ear, they nuzzle in against his neck, their voice low, breathless. "I love you…"

A stuttered gasp escapes Gordon, as their lips trail down his neck, leaving tender kisses behind. Their hand slides down over his collar, pausing to feel his heart beating wildly against the confines of his chest. Humans are known to associate this organ with love and it's gotten to Benrey, too, even though they technically don't have one, in the human sense—but pressing their palm to Gordon's almost feels like they're holding his life in their hands, and they don't know what could get more intimate than that.

With a shuddering sigh, they find his lips again, and he eagerly reciprocates, their slender hand sliding back into his hair as his both trail up under the back of their crewneck, coaxing a low groan out of them. The heat building between them has Benrey growing dizzy, body burning up from the inside out. It's a comfortable sort of warmth, one that feels as if it could melt the two of them into one another, binding them together for life.

Though, as the wind picks up through the trees, they shiver anyway, pressing themself tighter against Gordon in search of protection. Their surroundings have faded away completely in favor of chasing after the taste of his lips, but now, with a few extra eyes, they can see the trees rustling in the wind, the dark night sky overhead, the flames beginning to flicker a bit lower than they remember.

Checking their internal clock reveals it's nearly midnight. How the time managed to pass by so quickly is beyond them. Since the sun started setting, it felt like hardly any time at all.

Reluctantly, they pull back, tucking their head into the crook of Gordon's shoulder. Their thoughts are muddled, like everything's been turned to mush, so all they can manage to get out is a breathless, "Tent?"

"Huh…?" Gordon whispers in a daze, his hands running over their skin, rubbing warmth into them. They can feel his chest expand into them as he breathes, drunk on the feeling of his body so close to theirs. "Yeah… yeah. Sure. Might be, uh, might be colder than sleeping in the van though. Are you gonna be okay? You're already pretty cold."

The fuzziness in their mind turns their thoughts slow, like molasses as Tommy might say. Cold or not, Benrey wants the authentic camping experience, complete with the campfire, the tents, and the sleeping bags. Even if their future feels bright, they don't know for sure if they'll ever have this chance again, and it feels so perfect right now.

"Yeah," they say, breaths hot against Gordon's neck, a smile tugging at their lips. This heat, the warmth from another body, it's better than any other. "You'll be there, right? Hold me, warm. Big st-wong man, wow…" They chuckle a bit at their own joke, voice low and their cackle even lower. The difference in temperature between their nose and Gordon's neck is immense, and they worry he might be right. But even though the tent might royally suck, they still want to do it.

"Yeah," he reassures them, removing his hands to pull their crewneck down over their belt, trapping the heat inside. He runs his hands over their back, rubbing warmth into them. "Of course I'll be there. Sleeping alone in a tent sucks, man. It's better if you have company."

"The authennnnnnn-tic experience," Benrey says with a smile. They're reluctant to part from the heat radiating off of Gordon's body, large and soft yet firm in all the right places, like he was made for them to nest on top of. But they have to. At least his warmth still clings to them even as they get out of his lap. Grabbing their drink, they toss it back, emptying the bottle before tossing it aside, with everything else they've left out. "Show me how to camp, camp boy. Tree scout. Boysssss scout."

They grab their hoodie, warmed by the flames of the campfire, dumping all the sticks onto the ground where they can use them later before shaking the garment out and putting it back on. They hope the morning won't bring any complications; their minimap puts them in the clear, but if anything changes before the temperature rises again, they might have a problem. And Benrey really wants to go fishing, no matter how boring it may be in reality. Maybe run around nature for a bit, collect berries and nuts or whatever it is people do out here.

"If you really want authentic just wait until the mosquitos start nibbling on you," Gordon tells them, swaying as he gets to his feet. "You haven't camped for real until you have at least ten bites." Pouring the remainder of his drink over the fire, he shoves some dirt over it to make sure it's properly out before taking Benrey's hand. They feel a little like they're floating, being led around by the hand like this.

Inside the van, Gordon tracks down the tent, which is in a box Benrey has to open with their claws. Their work is sloppy thanks to the alcohol making their vision swim, but nothing breaks, and with that, and their sleeping bags, they find a spot nearby to set up.

There's something exciting about putting the tent together—Benrey hadn't expected Gordon to want their help, but they love him for including them like this, even if it's probably just to make it easier. Getting the thing actually put together is simpler than they expected thanks to Gordon's expertise. They've played games where putting together a tent is as easy as clicking through a menu, but also seen movies and cartoons where it's a borderline impossible task. Even under the influence, Gordon makes it feel like the former.

The end result is fancier than they've ever seen, even though they're sure that, to Gordon, or maybe any normal human being, it's nothing much. Spreading out a blanket across the tent floor makes it feel like a slumber party, and Gordon even hangs a lantern from the tent ceiling to make it feel complete, a neat little bedroom for them to sleep in. As Gordon zips the two sleeping bags into one, Benrey gazes around the interior, expression blank bordering on tired, though green sweet voice drifts out of their mouth, adding some extra color to the tent.

Their song pauses at the sound of Gordon's voice. "I know this isn't your preferred 'I took every item in Hot Topic and wore it all at once' style," he says, as they turn to see the garments he's holding out for them. "But it'll help keep you nice and toasty way better than those skinny jeans will."

As their eyes flick over the clothing, they can't help admiring the shade of blue in the fuzzy looking shirt. Pink bubbles escape them at the thought that Gordon had bothered looking for something in their favorite color—and they have no doubt it's obvious how they feel about the color blue—before their eyes find the off-white below it. Leggings, maybe?

Benrey playfully sticks out their tongue at Gordon as they accept the items, making some childish noise or other. "I look HOT in these jeans okay. Bomb ass thighs, tight ass, wish you were me."

"Never said you didn't," Gordon says, as their mind screeches to a halt—and then they feel his hand on their ass, giving it a quick squeeze, a bright pink squeal escaping them as they jolt out of his grasp. He laughs at their comical reaction, pink and yellow sweet voice streaming out of their mouth before turning to stick their tongue out at him like the mature adult they are.

In the process, they catch him beginning to undress. The marks trailing over his body catch their attention, unsurprised to find they're still around—they know from experience how long those things can last—through the sight of Gordon trailing his hands over them makes their mind a bit fuzzy. He must really like them, huh. They only hope he'll enjoy it anywhere near as much as when they don't use the tentacles, a little afraid this fetish of his is the only reason he's agreed to get so close to them.

Though Benrey finds that hard to believe. They have fetishes, specific-body-part fetishes even, and it's not like they've never found anyone willing to step on them before. Men in uniform are really into the idea of exerting power over others—Benrey isn't even really excluded from that, though they pale in comparison to the men they've been with. But they wouldn't kiss those people outside of those scenes like Gordon just did.

Shaking those thoughts off, they set their new clothes down in their lap, picking them up one by one to see what they are, judge if they'll fit, and rub the fabric to see how well the texture agrees with their skin. Both are passable so they start undressing to put them on, starting with the… onesie or whatever this thing is, feeling ridiculous until they've also got the shirt on. They reach for their crewneck to drag it back on as well, craving the heat still attached to it now that the nighttime chill is starting to creep into their bones and make them shiver.

They know less clothes are, ironically, warmer, but they can't resist the urge, pulling their striped socks back on as well. The jeans, hoodie, and boots are left tossed about wherever they end up, discarded without much care.

The new clothes help but it's not really enough. Benrey burrows into the conjoined sleeping bag until nothing but their hair is visible and whines childishly until Gordon joins them. They can see the fond smile on his face as he finishes changing, wearing a similar outfit to theirs but with red fleece instead of blue.

"Yeah, yeah, you big baby," Gordon teases. "I'm coming."

He crawls in after them, wiggling until he's comfortably encased in the sleeping bag with them. Snaking his arms around them, he pulls them against his chest, where they tangle their every limb with his. Their bodies slot together perfectly, like they were made for each other. A kiss is pressed to their temple, putting a big smile on their face as they bury their face in his chest.

"Comfy? This the kind of 'authennnnn-tic experience' you wanted, babe?"

Fuck, it sounds so good having Gordon call them that. The ease with which he's slipped into being more affectionate with them feels so natural, like it should always have been this way. At the same time, it doesn't feel real, like it was too easy, or something. But Benrey's confident Gordon must like them somehow, beyond just wanting to get fucked up on their more alien body parts.

They tilt their head to look up and around them at the tent they've set up together. Authentic feels about right. They're in a sleeping bag, inside a tent, with one of those cute little lanterns for light, hearing crickets chirping in the distance and inhaling the clean, albeit chilly air of the wilderness.

"It's perfect," they declare, leaning in for a kiss before they nuzzle into his neck, letting their eyes fall closed. "Thank you," they whisper. "Good night."

Chapter Text

It isn't long before Benrey drifts off to sleep. Though they prefer to stay up all night gaming, it's still something they're capable of, and find enjoyable in the right circumstances. Those circumstances are rare, given Black Mesa's dorms have a very militant stance on comfort, and it's more troubling to sleep alone, without Tommy to hold them or at least sleep back-to-back.

Mostly, they would sleep as a method of time travel, skipping from night to morning or month to month in some cases. It's those longer periods that trouble them, letting their life slip on by like that. Letting go in a place like Back Mesa is seldom wise, anyway; thus, this is why they wake every hour on the dot, ensuring they're in the same place, safe from harm.

A tent in the woods isn't the height of comfort, but it's cozy, secluded, and they feel wondrously warm in Gordon's arms, completely secure, like nothing can hurt them. Every time they wake up, they're soothed by the reminder that Gordon is here with them, the first piece of information they take in every time, which helps to set this apart from being back in Black Mesa.

It's the crack of dawn when Benrey wakes up again, performing the same check they do every time they're cognizant enough to remember. The map is clear of hostiles, and Gordon remains both asleep and alive. This time, though, there's something on the map—not a red blip, but a white skull.

Curling tighter against Gordon's body, Benrey resolves to ignore it. It likes to follow them around, and Benrey hasn't instructed it to do anything else since the party two days ago. They don't mind it, not really. The skeleton is like a friend, if your friends were… disposable.

Unfortunately, Gordon's opinion towards it is not the same—the two, three, four, however many of them there were at its peak, tended to want to prank HIM by making him seem totally insane in front of his friends. It was the height of comedy at the time, a real bellyacher. But when Gordon's response was to shoot at it every time, that's bad, right? Jokes are only jokes when everyone is laughing.

But they REALLY don't want to get up to deal with it. Unfortunately for them, and their Gordon hugging addiction, they don't have much of a choice but to acknowledge it—the thing is clipping into the tent and staring right at them, which will probably make Gordon shit himself if he sees it. Groaning loudly, Benrey extricates themself from Gordon's grasp, pausing to kiss his brow, their hand caressing the side of his face. As their thumb strokes over his cheek, they take in his slumbering expression, as content as they've possibly ever seen him.

With a terribly put-upon sigh, they exit the sleeping bag, yank on their shoes, and step outside.

Being six thirty in the morning, it's cold as balls. Benrey teeth start chattering within seconds, and their bones ache. The skeleton standing nearby, at exactly Benrey's height and with their approximate build, steps backwards towards the campgrounds where yesterday's carnage took place. Once it sees Benrey following after it, it turns and more confidently heads out towards the bloodied wooden sign with the camp's logo on it. Then on, and on, and on, until they've traveled all the way back to the highway. By then, Benrey can't feel most of their body anymore.

The skeleton leads them inside the bait-and-tackle shop, where Benrey dizzily looks around at all the knocked over displays and old blood stains. It's warmer in here, though it takes them a while to realize this. The warmer they get, the more their senses can take in, until they recognize the distant whir of electricity. The skeleton is pushing a bunch of fishing supplies into a bag, a really ugly duffel bag, but still. At least it's blue.

Once it's done, it turns to look at Benrey before walking over to a counter, where some dusty, boxy radio is sitting. It makes horrid noises as the skeleton's phalanges work the dials, and Benrey waits impatiently for the point of this trip to come to light.

Eventually it finds what it's looking for, and Benrey stares at the old, rusted thing as a set of voices begin speaking through the tinny speakers. Benrey recognizes them, though in a distant sort of way that has them squinting puzzlingly down at the device.

Nothing they're saying is terribly important, so Benrey uses that time to think, and that's when they remember—that's right! These people they hear speaking over the device, they used to play Counter-Strike online together. Benrey knows a lot of people from that game, somehow being the type to rack up a large friends list of people they can barely remember. These guys were a riot, though, Benrey just hasn't heard from them in awhile. Can't remember why, though.

There's one of those little remote things, Benrey doesn't know the first fucking thing about radios but they pick it up and figure out how to make it work. "Hey like 10-4 or whatever, y'all like suckin' toes or what," they speak into the receiver.

There's a chorus of "Who the fuck?" and accusations thrown around about a stolen radio before one of the voices calls back. "Benrey?!" This exclamation sets the rest of them off, voices overlapping asking who the fuck "Benrey" is while others seem to already know. Benrey grins, wide and full of teeth. Ah, they love making an entrance, especially one that causes so much chaos. "Weren't you at Black Mesa? That whole thing got taken off the map!"

"Yeah whatever," Benrey responds, holding the receiver obnoxiously close to their mouth, such that they can hear someone complain about mouth breathing in the background. "Place sucked. Like GOODBYE you know what I mean."

"Can you stop breathing down the fucking—"

"Shut up, Jones! Where the hell are you now? I can't believe you managed to get out of that place."

"Uh… idk. New Mexico still, I guess," they muse. "I'm like on a trip right now."

They carry on chatting for several more minutes, forgetting to keep track of time while the skeleton moves around the shop, gathering more fishing supplies before taking to observing the windows.

"Hey, where you guys at?" Benrey asks, making more mouth sounds in between sentences just to really piss off that guy who keeps raging in the background every time they do—Jones, or whatever his name is.

"We're gettin' settled up in Denver," one of the voices explains.

"Den-bar?" Benrey perplexingly drawls, squinting across the shop at the skeleton as it examines some fishing lures close to its empty eye sockets. Geography isn't exactly their forte, considering they never went to school; can't expect them to know all, uh, forty(?) states.

"It's in Colorado—"

"Get the fuck outta my face—"

"Davids, Calley! Stop fighting over the receiver, you morons!"

Their antics have Benrey grinning. Now this is familiar, even if some of the voices over the receiver aren't. "Could stop by," Benrey suggests. "Y'all got a PS4? Gimme the co-ords. The xyz, Minecraft F3."

Once they've marked a waypoint on their map, they quickly exit the conversation, playfully insulting all of them in a very thirteen year old boy on xbox live sort of way before flipping the radio off. The skeleton is gone, but Benrey just shrugs and heads back out, following the easily marked path back to the campgrounds.

Here, they look up and spot the skeleton sitting in one of the trees not far from the van. Their ugly duffel bag is nowhere to be seen, but Benrey would guess it's in the van somewhere. Doesn't matter. They're fucking freezing and they need to find Gordon, STAT.

- ♡ -

It's his back that wakes him up. Gordon is closer to thirty than twenty and his body knows it. Sleeping on the ground, even with a blanket and a sleeping bag to cushion him, is still murder on his back. With a groan, he arches his back, curling up on his side, where his eyes drift open, staring at the side of the tent nearby. Light shines through the tarp, the dull glow marking an early morning sunrise. With a sigh, he drags his hand over his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Ugh, his head aches…

All at once, the events of the previous night come crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. The drinking, the crying, the kissing… Benrey's confession. His breaths stutter, body flashing hot-cold as panic creeps over him. Fuck. Obviously, he knew they were into him to some extent, but he'd thought it was purely physical. He hadn't even expected them to seek anything from him ever again, though getting drunk and making out is hardly a surprise. That's, like, a staple of parties with too much drinking. Though he wouldn't consider two and a half bottles of beer to be a crazy amount, personally.

All he's been to them is a convenience. A warm hole for them to fill, a desperate loser too eager for a release to say no even to his worst enemy. He's the closest option, who else is gonna do it?

But they said they love him. How? How could they possibly, when, up until maybe midday yesterday, all he's ever been is cruel. And since, what has he done since? All he's been is a burden on them, a freak that fetishes their alien physique. Fuck, he'd only just managed to express that he sees them as a friend. A friend!

Maybe they don't understand the scope of those words. Maybe love and friendship are the same thing to them. All their human knowledge is from Tommy, right? He feels like the type to say "I love you" to his friends. Yeah! That must be it. Benrey loves him as a friend, a friend who they also enjoy kissing and fucking with their tentacles. But friends with benefits is a thing!

Oh.

Is that what Benrey and Tommy had? The thought makes Gordon dizzy, heat building in his gut at the mental image. That would explain all the sexual comments Benrey threw Gordon's way. They must think friendships have a physical aspect to it. Since Tommy neglected to tell them humans can't respawn or regrow limbs, this could've been another hole in Benrey's education.

At least Benrey seems to enjoy what they've got going on. Nothing about their behavior seems like they're forcing themself, quite the opposite in fact. So this is… fine? Just two pals, out on a road trip, engaging in some freaky tentacle shit here and there. Gordon can live with that. It's not the most uncomplicated situation, but at least it's not as confusing as… the other thing Benrey could have meant by those words.

This is good, anyway. By giving Benrey all of this, affection, care, brand new experiences, Gordon can start absolving himself of all the guilt from how he treated them back at Black Mesa. Not that that's the only reason. He hates to admit it, but they've had fun. Seeing their face light up as they tasted their first s'more, and hearing them laugh over dumb pranks they've pulled in the past, Gordon finds himself genuinely wanting to make them happy. To spend more time with them, laughing and playing together. To be carefree for once in… god, so many years.

Not to mention, he literally owes Benrey his life. Not just because they'd refused to let him take it himself, either. He can think of at least three separate occasions when they've come to his rescue, all in the past twenty-four hours. Being, what, friends with benefits? It's the least he can do for them, and he enjoys it, as well.

Speaking of Benrey… he rolls over, about to reach out and wrap his arm around them, when his arm connects with… nothing. The other side of the tent is empty. Wait, it's empty?!

Benrey! Where's Benrey?!

The pain in his back is absent as he shoots up from the sleeping bag. Panic quickly overrides any rational part of his brain, breaths growing quick and shallow as the buzzing in his ear drowns out all other sounds. Why did Benrey leave? He thought he'd been good, he did everything right! He held them, he kissed them, he said all the right things! Was it not good enough? Is he not good enough for them?

A small, rational part of his brain manages to break through the panic, urging him to go look for them. There's plenty of explanations for why they aren't here. Maybe there's something they needed in the van, or maybe they went to deal with a zombie that was getting too close. He just has to… to go check.

Stumbling out from the tent, he looks towards the car, but as his eyes scan the area, he doesn't find Benrey. But he does find something else. He spots it right away, the milky white a stark contrast to the emerald foliage of the tree it's perched in. The skeleton looks just as nightmarish as he remembers it, eyes hollow and staring right at him.

No! Nononononono! It can't be! Why is he seeing that thing again?! Why is it here at all? He knows it's connected to Benrey in some way, but it's not a good sign. Every single one has existed either to mess with him, or cocoon him during the boss battle.

At least the shock of seeing it clears his head a little. If that… thing is here that means that Benrey hasn't left completely. He hangs on to that thought, turning just in time to see something appear on the horizon. The knot of fear and anxiety in his chest unravels as he takes in the sight of Benrey's familiar form, stumbling down the road that leads in from the highway.

He doesn't even pull on his boots before sprinting towards them. Their expression as they see him is dazed, a small smile tugging at their lips, and they stumble forward into his arms, where he scoops them up and cradles them against his chest. A pitiful noise escapes them, teal and gold sweet voice drifting out past their mouth. The way they're shivering borderline violently against him, shoving their ice-cold hands up under his shirt… Fuck, Benrey is way too cold. The way they're cuddling close to him feels more instinctual than anything.

"Fuck, Benrey, you can't—Please, don't just disappear on me that. I almost had a heart attack! Where were you? And what the fuck is that," He points at the skeleton, which has the audacity to wave in response. “doing here?!"

The fear has turned his voice more aggressive than he'd like. Not that he's angry at Benrey, he was just terrified at the thought that they'd left him behind. What would he do then? There's no way he could protect himself the entire way to… fuck, he doesn't even know where they're going. He'd be screwed if they left him alone.

Hoping to offset his nasty tone, he grabs Benrey's cold hands, bringing them up to his mouth where he blows hot air onto their fingers.

"Uh," Benrey drawls, rubbing their face against Gordon's warm chest before briefly turning to look up at where he's pointing. "Don'worry they wi'h me." Their words are slurred together, wavering from the cold that's causing their teeth to chatter. So they can see it, too, what a fucking relief. If they'd claimed otherwise he might have screamed. Though, Benrey did always seem aware of them. Probably because those things belong to them, though that doesn't explain why Gordon could see them and no one else.

In response to their words, the skeleton stands, ragdolling off the branch onto the ground, where it gets back up as if nothing happened. The comedic sight helps break some of the tension. Gordon doesn't know why, but he feels like the impact should have been followed by a cymbal crash.

Still, he doesn't trust the thing, and as it turns towards him and starts approaching, he turns, using his torso to block Benrey from the skeleton's line of sight. If it's up to no good, he doesn't want Benrey to be the one to take the first hit.

But the skeleton stops about a foot or so away, raising its fist in what Gordon initially interprets as a request for a fist bump. He almost does it instinctually, until its bony fingers unfurl. In the center of its palm is a single, polished piece of beach glass, shining a vibrant blue in the sunlight.

"Cool rock," Benrey weakly mutters.

Gordon stares down at the beach glass, then up to the skeleton's face. It's unreadable, considering it's literally just a skull.

"Is… is that for me?" he asks. With one arm holding Benrey in place, he uses the other to cautiously reach out for the stone. He's prepared for it to start attacking at any moment, spewing sweet voice, or that awful high pitched noise that almost deafened him in the vents. But nothing happens, and he takes the bit of blue beach glass without any incidents. "Uh… thanks, I guess."

The skeleton looks down, appearing almost bashful, somehow. Placing the stone in the pocket of his fleece shirt, he angles his body towards the tent, with Benrey pressing themself against him in search of warmth. He doesn't know why he's talking to this thing, but he still feels compelled to tell it. "I need to go warm them up. You… you stay out here, okay?"

The skeleton just stares right back. Can it even hear him? Does it understand a single word he utters? Does it care?

There's no time to bother with questions. Not while Benrey is still shivering uncontrollably against him, completely unresponsive to his attempts to speak to them. Lifting them up, they immediately curl closer to him, as he hurries back to the tent where he places them down on the still-warm sleeping bag. Which they try to burrow inside before he's even gotten their boots unlaced. By the time he's removed them, Benrey has stuffed their upper body inside Gordon's half of the sleeping bag.

He's about to join them, when he gets an idea. He chucks off his own shirt and steps out of his long johns, and then climbs inside. Since they can't generate their own body heat, he'll do it for them, providing his which they can leech directly from his body, without any layers of fabric getting in the way. It would work even better with direct skin-on-skin contact, but he hesitates to undress them in such a state. This will have to be enough.

Zipping the bag up over them, he wraps Benrey up in his arms, intertwining their legs and rubbing his hands over their back. "There, all warm and cozy. That's much better, right?"

"Wow," Benrey says, voice still wavering a little from the force of their shivers, as they huddle as close to Gordon as possible without fusing into his body. "Gordon care me?"

Gordon snorts a laugh, nibbling on Benrey's nose in retaliation for their teasing, as they whine and bury their face in his neck. "No, it's my hobby collecting and seducing emo aliens. Yes, I care you, you stupid little gremlin."

They tilt their head to face him. "Whoa, real shit?"

Playfully, Gordon rolls his eyes, dipping down to capture their mouth in a kiss, lips moving lazily over theirs before he slips his tongue between them, coaxing a surprised sound out of them. Even the inside of their mouth is cold, which is a very new sensation. The feeling intrigues him, and he finds himself exploring further into Benrey's mouth.

It isn't long before Benrey's body starts to warm up, and the press of their hard body against his half naked one as they explore each other's mouths has some… unfortunate results. It's with mounting shame that Gordon finds himself growing hard. It's not like they've never been intimate before, but the first time had been very spur of the moment, and he's not sure how to navigate this particular part of their relationship. It's not like they've discussed it. Regardless, he can't possibly hide his erection with their bodies pressed so close.

Pulling away from the kiss, Gordon's eyes flick off to the side, face flushed a deep red-orange. "Sorry," he says. "I—We don't, I mean, you can ignore that if you don't—"

His words cut off with an embarrassing squeak as a slender hand wraps around the bulge in his briefs. The pressure coaxes a groan out of his throat, hips arching forward into Benrey's hand as sparks of pleasure travel up his spine. "Care me soooo much, huh?" Benrey teases, looking up at him with lidded eyes and a devious smirk. "Could, uh, give me some more of that heat… I'm sooo cold, you gotta, warm me up, inside…"

Their words send a wave of heat through his body. Inside? They want him to… A moan escapes him, dick twitching as Benrey starts to rub their crotch against his. Even after yesterday, Gordon still isn't sure what Benrey's got going on under there. Yesterday they'd just been a mass of tentacles, of which he'd felt at least three of them cum, so that doesn't answer his question. The mere thought of all those writhing tendrils filling him up has him fall partly back into that fuzzy state, eyes hazy as he ruts against Benrey’s hand. Fuck, he wants this, wants to be inside Benrey, make them feel good.

He kisses them again, moaning into their mouth as his hands travel over their body, down their back to squeeze that fantastic, round ass of theirs. His mouth soon gets distracted by exploring their throat. Last time, he'd been held in place, but now he has the opportunity to touch them himself.

Although, his exploration comes to an abrupt halt when his mouth reaches the hem of the three(!) layers Benrey's got on their upper half. That's no good, Gordon wants—No, needs to feel their skin against his.

Reluctantly, Gordon moves from massaging Benrey's ass to taking ahold of the hem of Benrey's MCR crewneck, giving them what he hopes comes off as a pleading look. "Can you—Are you warm enough to take this off? Let me feel you, please. I'll keep you warm, babe, inside and out." His voice is low and breathless, on the verge of begging, and the sound pulls a moan from Benrey.

"Ahhh—fuck," Benrey groans, tipping their head back to give Gordon more room to explore their throat, sucking and nibbling on the skin there. The air fills with a dull orange sweet voice, let loose from all of their whines and moans. Between them, Gordon's hands have moved up under their shirt to rub against the cotton fabric of their long johns, undoing the buttons to slip his hands inside, rubbing over their nipples. Their back arches into his touch, legs curling around his. "Hhh—Gimme a sec…"

They rush to get their crewneck off, noclipping it off their body without breaking the contact of Gordon's mouth and teeth on their skin. The fleece shirt goes next, followed hastily by the long johns, which aren't as easy to remove even with the ability to phase their body through them. All three are tossed carelessly aside, leaving them in nothing but their black, pentagram-covered briefs and a pair of black and white striped kneesocks.

Now with free reign of Benrey's bare skin, Gordon goes to town, sucking and licking at their collarbone, twisting their nipples between his fingers, dragging his hands down their surprisingly toned abdomen. In response, Benrey's hands, claws dulled, greedily fondle his thick, hairy chest before dragging down to his hips, drawing a shuddering breath out of him which turns into a moan as they slide down under his briefs to grab his ass.

"Why don't you, uhhh—T-Take a look, you'll like it," Benrey breathes, grinding their hips into him, where he feels something… new. Well, not entirely new, he recognises the feeling from yesterday. Moving like it has a mind of its own, wriggling against him even through two layers of underwear. It seems like he's gotten his answer on what Benrey has going on below the belt after all.

Gordon is so hard that it almost hurts, head swimming with all the possibilities. There's so much he wants to do, it's hard to decide. For one, he could crawl down between their legs and finally fill his mouth again, fuck his throat on Benrey's tentacle cock until he's so lost in sub space he won't remember his own name. Or he could turn around and let Benrey fuck him again. His ass is still a bit sore from yesterday, but that only excites him more. Or he could stay right here, let the tentacle wrap around him like it had yesterday as he continues to shower Benrey's face, neck, and torso with kisses, licks, and bites.

The mere thought of all of that is nearly enough to get him off. But Benrey's been dropping hints, suggestions of another kind of activity that Gordon would never have dreamed of before meeting them. But he can't get ahead of himself. Before he dives in, he wants to get better acquainted with the terrain, so to speak, as Benrey suggested.

Dragging his hands down lower, he dips them beneath the waistband of their briefs, jumping as suckers latch on to his hand at record speeds. A throaty groan escapes them as their dripping blue tentacle twists around his fingers. 

"Woah. That's—That's fucking hot." He breathes the words against Benrey's skin before sucking a mark right where their neck meets the shoulder, coaxing a low whine out of them.

"Yeah?" they taunt, a huge, toothy grin on their face. "Hhh, knew you'd like it, little, little f-freak…"

Their tentacle dick now fully occupies one of his hands, demanding all of his attention and effectively halting any further exploration. Using his other hand, he drags Benrey's briefs down past their thighs, fingers dipping below the tentacle to see what Benrey had meant with inside.

What Gordon finds isn't much different from a pussy, wet folds leading into something warm, slick and tight. The main difference is the tentacle pushing out of the top half, the presence of it noticeable even as he slips a finger inside, the smirk on their face faltering as he does.

"Oh, fuck," they groan, breaths quickening as they throw their head back. A clear blue fluid drips off of their cock like precum, oozing from every inch of the underside to glide fluidly across Gordon's hand and up towards his wrist, where the suckers eagerly kiss little marks into his flesh. The sensation forces an embarrassingly loud moan from his lips.

"Fuck! Benrey, I—Please, can I fuck you? I'll make you feel so good. Please, please, please…" His breath is coming in short pants, head buried in Benrey's neck. His hold around their throbbing tentacle has finally gotten a good grip, stroking it in time with the fingers working their hole as their body quivers beneath him, sounds of pleasure escaping their lips in a rusty orange. The fuzziness in his brain is back, wrapping him up in a layer of pleasure that won't let any shame get in the way.

Benrey's hips stutter into him. Their eyes roll back, nails scrabbling at Gordon's flesh as they struggle to wrap around his waistband, yanking his briefs off in several rough, clumsy motions to free his cock. The sight of it, flushed red and swollen, has them groaning, a bead of orange-tinted saliva pooling over their lip.

"Fuck yeah," they groan, running a hand over his length as he feels himself twitch in their grasp. They rub their thumb over the slit, smearing precum. Whimpering, Gordon's hips stutter, seeking more friction. "Ahhh—Gooooood boy. Askin' so nicely—mmmnhh—feel so fucking good already, so good to me—ahhh, Gordon, fuck—"

Gordon's mind swims with the praise. He's always been a sucker for compliments but it hits so differently coming from Benrey. That mouth that has taunted him over and over again, now calling him good boy. They pull their hand away, grasping onto his bicep before finding their way around his back and gripping tightly.

"Mmmhh—do it," Benrey taunts. "Fucking, freak boy, tentacle boy, lucky I like you so much, give you this shit. Reward for… good behavior…"

Not even the name calling can bring him out from the deep, dizzying place his mind is entering. They're right, he is a freak, a nasty little tentacle boy, but Benrey likes him despite that, maybe even because of it, and they're rewarding him because Gordon has been good.

"So good, I promise, gonna be good for you…"

He continues to rub the base of the tentacle inside them, the spot that gets them singing and squirming against him, enjoying how the suckers keep attaching to his fingers. The alluring call of that warm, wet cavern is soon too strong, however. He needs to feel them around him, clamping down like they do with his fingers. With a heady sigh, he pulls his fingers out, spreading the slick coating his hand over his aching dick.

Moving around in a sleeping bag is never easy, but it's even more difficult with a greedy tentacle wrapped around his hand, refusing to let him go. Not that he minds, the feeling of it writhing against his palm is slowly driving him more insane than he already is. But this would be much easier with them on their back.

A soft gasp tumbles out of them as he pushes them over, their head angling downwards to stare at where his leaking member rests between their thighs. A gross chuckle comes out of them, legs parting wider as he grips his cock. It's impossible to resist rubbing himself against the underside of their tentacle, right where the base slips into their slit. Benrey seems to love it, too, their thighs quivering with need as their chuckle tapers off into a needy whine.

Their suckers attaching to his tip draw a gasp out of him, whimpering at the feeling of each one sucking on his tender flesh, and before he knows it, he's thrust into their glorious, wet heat, their tentacle writhing wildly and squeezing his hand. They cry out in tandem, Benrey's nails dragging harsh lines into his upper back.

"Aahaa… B-Benrey! Feels so good, I—mmhh."

"God! Fuck," Benrey groans, their toes curling behind his back. "Gordon—! Good, good—Good boy—Haahhh—"

Words truly fails to describe the feeling, not that there are any words left inside Gordon's head except Benrey and fuck. Instead, he occupies his mouth with better things, like sucking more marks into Benrey's neck as they throw their head back to let him, and lavishing every part of them he can reach with kisses. He doesn't need to talk anyway, he only needs to be good and fuck them until neither of them can think anymore.

The first thrust sends fireworks of pleasure up his spine, his free hand moving to tangle in Benrey's hair for purchase. Nothing exists in his head besides the feeling of them around his cock, the tentacle in his hand, the skin under his mouth and their hands moving over his back. Nothing but pleasure exists in this place, not even Gordon himself.

"HhAAaahhh—Ahahahh—" Benrey lets out a gross cackle, their voice taking on a reedy and desperate quality as their brows furrow and their inhuman eyes dilate to dark voids. Tears sting the corner of their eyes, pink joining the orange sweet voice bursting out of them with each thrust. "This is—right where you belong, hhh—pleasing me, putting your—uhhh—cock to good use, fuck—! Feel so fucking good, perfect, love—love the way your cock feels inside me—"

Gordon's hips are moving on their own, an instinct as old as humanity itself driving him to seek the pleasure that Benrey's body has to offer. Though Benrey is hardly human. Fucking them is like nothing he's ever experienced, hot and tight but with the addition of the suckers from the base of their tentacle lavishing his cock with additional sensation. Their skin tastes artificially sweet, and Gordon is slowly getting addicted to the taste, his mouth unable to stop seeking it out. Benrey's talon-like claws drag down his back, the pressure just on the edge of pain, which only enhances all other sensation.

And then it's their voice, praise mixed with moans and whimpers. It's like music, a prayer or a mantra that keeps pulling him deeper and deeper into the same place the tentacles had put him in yesterday. His own voice has devolved into incoherent noise. If his head had been cleared he would have been mortified by the sound of it, wanton, whining, begging without words, but right now there exists no shame in Gordon's world, only desire and Benrey.

"I love—youuuu—mmmhhh—hahhhh k, kiss me, please?" Benrey begs, one hand clambering up towards Gordon's hair, yanking on the strands to pull him up from their neck.

Diving in, they kiss and nip at his chin, his cheek, clumsily finding their way to his mouth where they lick inside with their long, alien tongue, smearing the taste of strawberry and orange against his tongue. He wastes no time meeting their agile tongue with his own, letting them twist and turn around each other with no regard for the wet sounds it makes.

After that, it only takes another few swirls of his tongue against theirs before a barrage of feelings hit him like a sledgehammer to the gut. The lust and desire that had already consumed his very being now flare to life in every single molecule of Gordon's body. Everything from the tip of his head to the soles of his feet tingles like it's charged with electricity. Even blinking sends jolts of pleasure up his spine.

Mixed with that is an equally strong flame, of affection, of… love. That more than anything sets his body ablaze, mind spinning, words tumbling out of his mouth without his permission. "Benrey, I—I love… I love you—" He hears them gasp, feels their hand tighten around a chunk of his hair, their breaths growing quick. Tears sting Gordon's eyes, his thighs burn and tremble, hips stuttering as he keeps fucking into Benrey.

"Whuh—Hhhuhh—Fuck—L-Love you too—Gordon, I love you…" Benrey breathes, nipping at his cheek, tongue darting out to lick a stripe up over the trail his tears leave behind. The grip they have on his back and hair tightens, tugging him as tightly against them as he could possibly be, claws leaving harsh lines in his back and the nape of his neck. "Perfect, perfect for me, so good—hahhh—! Oh god—"

Benrey gasps, voice taking on a higher, more desperate quality as they move their hips back into him in turn. It's so much… too much. Gordon's orgasm is rushing towards him like the water beneath a cliff, careening towards his eventual release.

But he can't, not yet. This isn't about him, it's never been about him. Right now, he exists only as an instrument for Benrey's pleasure, showing them how good he can be, how useful he can be. Until they give him permission, he has to keep holding on.

His mouth slides off Benrey's, head too heavy to hold up so he lets his rest against their forehead. Gordon's voice is more breath than words, eyes pleading as he begs. "Please… need to come. Can I? Please, Benrey, please let me come? Been good, so good for you, please…"

Claws rake across his back, drawing blood and nearly making him lose it, his cock twitching and drooling pre-cum inside them. "Ahhh—hhah—yeah, so good, you're so good, you're—mine," they growl. "Mine, mine, you're mine… Say—say you belong to me. S-Say you're mine, and I—ahhh—I'll, let you… l-let, hahhh—inside, let you cum inside me…" Whining, a particularly hard thrust has them crying out, their cock writhing in Gordon's grasp and leaking all over his hand. "Gordon…!"

Their command is easy to follow, giving voice to what, deep down, he already knows is true. Gordon is theirs now, for as long as he remains interesting enough for them to keep. He has been since the moment they refused to let him die. He only lives because they've decided to love him, and he'll die the moment they don't, left to rot in the desolate wasteland the world has become. This is as an absolute fact, as true as gravity or the sun rising in the morning.

"Yours… only yours. Belong to y-you… hnngg—no one—no one else. I—" Their teeth sink into his neck with a growl, like some type of feral creature locking him against them with teeth and claw so they can devour him whole. "Aahha… can't—gonna come—I… Benrey!"

It's like a string has been cut inside him, the world around him going white. Distantly, he feels his hips jerking, his cock twitching as he unloads inside Benrey's wet, warm slit, pulsating with need and clenching around him. One of their legs slips from where it's wrapped around his back, pushing against the ground to bring themself closer to him. Their tentacle writhes, squeezing tightly around him and twitching hard as something hot and wet splatters against his arm. He hears Benrey cry out, hears the professions of love on their lips, interspersed with an erotic song that casts a dark violet light over the tent.

The moment lasts a fraction of a second and an eternity all at once, time losing meaning as his body jerks with the pleasure crashing through him in waves. When he comes to, it's with the faint taste of something at once sweet and acidic in his mouth. Opening his eyes he finds that his teeth have broken through the skin on Benrey's neck. A twinge of concern finds its way through the fog in his mind—shit, did he hurt them?

But to express apology or look after their wellbeing requires words, which he does not have right now. All he can do is press his lips against the reddening wound, alternating between kissing and lapping at it with his tongue in hopes that it'll express he didn't mean to hurt them. They turn their head to one side, letting him.

There's a faint buzzing beneath his skin, matching the white noise inside his head. Despite his cock going soft and on the verge of being oversensitive, his hips keep grinding against Benrey's, not really thrusting so much as rubbing himself inside them. It's impossible not to chase those last few sparks of pleasure, even as they grow closer to pain. Especially not when they're doing the same, their thighs taut with the effort of pushing themself deeper onto his cock.

Eventually, Gordon whimpers, and they both lose all ability to keep themselves held up, slumping bonelessly against the bed. Gordon's chest heaves from where he lays against Benrey's chest. Beneath him, he can feel the way the rise and fall of their chest as they catch their breath, their tentacle detaching from his hand to slither back inside their body.

One of Benrey's hands falls from his upper back, dragging across their face up into their hair. A slow, breathless chuckle escapes them. As their hand falls lazily against the pillow, their other runs through Gordon's hair, pushing it back out of his eyes. "Good boy," they breathe, staring up at him with dizzy eyes full of affection. "I love you…"

Despite his exhaustion, he can't help but smile at their praise. He did good! If Benrey's pleased with him, they won't get tired of him anytime soon, and if they don't get tired of him anytime soon, they won't toss him aside. So long as Benrey loves him…

A part of him blinks back to reality, the part of him that had so carefully minded his words, that had made such elaborate explanations for why Benrey had said what they did. What they have is just friendship, a friends with benefits situation, wasn't that the conclusion he'd come to just now? So what is this? What just happened? What had he said?

These questions float around in his mind, not yet driving him to panic thanks to the blanket of sub space that's fallen over him. He… loves Benrey? Is that true? It feels like such a foreign concept, and yet he'd felt it, clear as day.

Gordon has been in love many times, far more than he's been in relationships, even, so he knows what love feels like. And this had been… love? Well, yes and no. It had been the same dizzying wave of affection, same need for closeness and validation.

But there's a trace of something else in there, a desperate, almost obsessive feeling he doesn't recognise. Why is it so easy for him to let go of everything when he and Benrey get like this? It's like they're tearing out a part of his soul, gripping it in their clawed hands, while all Gordon can do is throw himself at them to try and get it back. 

Weariness forces him to abandon his worries for now, easily swept away by the warm, fuzzy feeling he gets when Benrey gives him attention and praise. What does it matter, really? He feels good, Benrey feels good, everything is good. As long as they're here with him, everything is good. As long as they don't leave him.

Chapter Text

Never in their life has Benrey ever felt this comfortable, despite being only a few layers of flimsy separation from the cold, hard ground. Very little could be better than this. Gordon is laid against their chest, borderline purring with satisfaction. Warmth surrounds them, cool lights bathing over their bodies from the sweet voice hanging overhead, pink and orange and a deep purple. In this enclosed space it feels like everything will be okay, like the world isn't burning right outside. Like maybe they could stay here with Gordon, swapping stories around the fire, fishing for their next meal, bathing in a lake, sleeping in each other's arms and fucking every morning.

Everything's coming up Benrey.

But even Benrey knows that's just a pipe dream. There's a lot waiting for them, all their friends, Gordon's family. And after they get there, everything will be fine. The world will go back to normal, and they'll get to go camping all they want. They deserve it after everything they've been through.

As they lay there basking in the afterglow, Benrey thinks about how they really can't believe their luck. Or maybe it's not luck, maybe they've done really, really well to sway Gordon over to their side again. Shown him their love, their devotion, the lengths they'll go to for him. Their willingness to learn and correct their wrongs, even if they're awkward, even if they don't know how to articulate themself properly. Their love has reached out to him and been felt in kind.

It also feels… fast? Too fast, maybe, but Benrey doesn't know enough about human courtship to understand if this is abnormal. Though, if he's feeling good, if he wants to be around them, hold them, promise to show them the world, then they'll trust him. They want to trust him—the potential for good is too great, a good life with the kind of love they never thought they'd have. It's worth any risk.

They feel Gordon shift, a weary groan parting his lips and pulling them from their musings. A smile crosses their lips as he nuzzles into their neck with a pleased little sigh, their claws combing through his hair just as his does theirs. A raven strand is twirled around one of his fingers, idly toying with the strand.

"Want me to braid your hair?" Gordon asks them. "Later, I mean. You'd look good in it." 

"Yeah," Benrey says, staring longingly down at him, a hand raised to brush the man's own hair back behind an ear. Tommy used to braid it, when it was even longer than it is now. They enjoy the feeling of having someone touch their hair, comb through it, braid it. A big grin crosses their lips as they watch Gordon lift a strand up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to it, their grin growing to light up their whole face. "Whuh—I can't believe you just did that. You wanna make out, gay boy? Got feelings for Benrey, huh? Wanna kiss about it?"

Gordon chickles, dipping his head to rest on Benrey's chest, where their dull claws comb through his hair. "I'm literally still inside you, your cock is holding onto mine, and we're both covered in each other's cum. I think we're both kinda gay right now, man."

"Huh?" they blurt, before taking in the state of themself. Inside their sheath, they can feel it; their tentacle holding onto Gordon's soft dick, refusing to let it go. "Whoa. Dick hand holding." This has happened before, quite a lot, actually. Though it's not often that they get to use what they would consider to be their natural anatomy. Black Mesa wouldn't allow them to be visibly alien around their coworkers.

Their weird little comment has Gordon laughing again, a lighthearted look glimmering in his emerald eyes that has Benrey humming pink at the sight of him. Raising up on his elbows, his lips brush theirs before capturing them in a lazy kiss. With a grin, Benrey returns the kiss, their hands sliding into Gordon's hair before moving down around his back, pulling him against them. Carefully, he maneuvers them to lay on their sides together, where he pulls away to glance down at the pale blue cum they'd gotten on his arm.

They're about to open their mouth to tell him not to freak, it fades on its own, when he brings it up to his mouth for a taste, watching him with slightly widened eyes and a sharp intake of breath. The curiosity seems to have gotten to him, so much that he doesn't seem to realize how this looks from their perspective. Especially when he just keeps going, lapping it all up until his hand and forearm are clean.

"Damn," Benrey breathes. "Bro, you're eating my kids. That's some freaky shit right there."

This comment earns them another little chuckle from Gordon, who looks at them with such fondness they swear they feel their heart momentarily stop. Though for that to happen, it would have to start at some point… still. "Don't call it that, dude."

"Call it what?" they press, feigning ignorance as their hands trail down over his sides, caressing his soft, hairy skin, feeling out every mole, freckle, and stretch mark, groping fat rolls and meaty chunks of his hips and thighs. Every inch they map out reveals more of him to them, all the little details that make him unique. He's beautiful. Getting to touch him like this makes them feel fuzzy, like a moth's wings.

"You know what, you little freak." The insult comes out sounding playful and fun, putting an even bigger grin on their face.

Something about it must be too much, though, as when they look up at him, there's a strange expression on his face, green eyes flicking over their face like he's studying them, trying to puzzle them out. They don't see what's so unclear about them, what he could possibly be searching for. Then, he looks away.

"Can you give me my dick back? Nature calls, and all that. Need something to eat, too. Fuck, I'm starving."

They whine as Gordon starts to disentangle himself from them, addicted to the feeling of being full. It takes a bit of doing considering their dick has a mind of its own, though in this state it's just lazy enough that Benrey manages to detach it fairly easily, sitting up to put a little bit of distance between them. There's a sticky, blue mess clinging to Gordon's cock, trailing between him and them, and they stare at it for a moment as arousal starts burning in the pit of their stomach. Gordon's looking, too, eyes wide and cheeks flushed a delicious red-orange, but, he has needs or whatever. Eating them out isn't on the menu, no matter how tempted he looks.

Benrey closes their legs, removing the temptation for them both. "Gonna, get some of my top, good, good shit that you made me put in the TRASH," Benrey says, referring to the remains of the peeper puppies from yesterday. "Have fun with your soup, IDIOT."

"Yeah, whatever. Go eat your trash meat!" Gordon jeers back, pinching their ass as they get up to track down their clothes.

"Whuh—! Inappropriate, that's a foul. Minus, uh, twenty points."

"What?" Gordon laughs, startled. "We just had sex, but I can't touch your ass?"

They stick their tongue out at him, and he laughs, looking so happy that makes Benrey want to go over and kiss him silly. But they gotta get dressed first, and so does he, a fact they recognize as he makes a move to retrieve his clothing. Benrey crawls away, tugging on their crewneck before moving onto their briefs and pants. While putting their heart-buckle belt back on, they check over their minimap; skeleton's still here, out by the lake now. Clock reads 8:37am, which should be warm enough that they'll be okay, especially if Gordon's going to start another fire to cook his horrible, awful soup with.

They're drawn out of these thoughts as they feel Gordon tap their shoulder. "Hey, can you fetch the—the medkit stuff?" he asks. "I think we might have gone a bit overboard just now."

Blinking slowly at him, processing his words before their eyes go a bit wide. It was only a few minutes ago that they'd noticed and already they forgot about the wounds on Gordon's back and the nape of his neck. As he hurries to assure them it isn't that big of a deal, they hastily finish up with their outfit, minus the boots that is, before turning fully in his direction.

"Poor baby. Lemme kiss your boo-boos, make better," they tease, crawling behind him. He dips his head as they move his hair aside to assess the damage. The thick and angry red claw marks look horrific with all the blood smeared everywhere, but as Benrey leans forward to clean him up, they can tell it's much less dramatic than it seems. Though all the licking has him gasping, back arching away from them as his hands grasp onto the sleeping bag below. "Hold still," they urge.

Humming teal-green sweet voice into the air, Benrey grabs the orbs and smears them against Gordon's back. They're very cold in comparison to the heat clinging to Gordon's body, but despite the way he whimpers in discomfort, Benrey doesn't slow down, only being gentle enough that it doesn't agitate his wounds. As the wounds knit themself back together, Gordon gasps and groans, fingers tightening around the sleeping bag.

Before long the teal-green has dissolved into his skin, leaving behind nothing but faint pink lines. He lets out a shuddering breath, skin flushed and shiny, a layer of sweat coating his skin. Benrey leans in to kiss the lines along his back, feeling him relax beneath him in response, even if only marginally, before laying their head against his shoulders, arms wrapped loosely around his waist.

"There," Benrey says. "Aftercare. Rank-S Dom, would fuck again."

Gordon exhales slowly. "Thanks. Can we… more gentle next time? Please?"

Clueless to how the heal beam actually feels, Benrey gives an easy, "Sure," already planning out in their mind how they can make it a bit warmer, perhaps go slower or one at a time. They kiss the back of his neck before pulling away to track down their boots. "Now come onnnn le'sss gooooo-uh."

Getting their boots on and hoodie wrapped around their waist, they step outside, stretching out their limbs and loudly popping their joints in the process. While Gordon does his human stuff, Benrey returns to the campfire, picking up everything they'd left behind. There's a bin nearby for trash to go into, so Benrey tosses the bottles in there, placing everything else inside the tent for later. As they work, they sing an old pop punk song to themself under their breath.

"Am I more than you bargained for yet? I've, been dying to tell you anything, you wanna hear, 'cuz that's just who I am this week…"

Their singing trails off as they they hear Gordon's voice calling to them, lifting their head up from where they're moving all the camping supplies into the tent. With a curious tilt of their head, they follow after the sound, tracking him down to the van. The trunk doors are open, and he's warily staring down the black duffel bag full of fishing gear the skeleton brought back with it.

"Is this your… buddy's stuff?" he asks.

"Huh?" Benrey mumbles as they step up behind Gordon. Smacking their lips, they squint down at the bag, taking a moment to remember where it came from. "No—Yeah. That's mine. Got fishy stuff in it." Suddenly, all the dots line up in their brain, and they exclaim, "Can we go fish?"

All of this has Gordon looking bewildered, and he leans in to unzip the bag, finding all the various rods, lures, and other such things. The good shit, too. Though they would've preferred he'd ask first before snooping through their stuff. They'll let him off the hook this time, though. He did make them cum pretty hard not that long ago.

"Is this what you were doing this morning? Going to get this?" Gordon asks, as Benrey shrugs in response. They hadn't directly had a hand in it, nor was it even their idea. Technically it was them but technically it wasn't. Though it doesn't appear to matter either way, because Gordon seems pretty happy about it, and just seeing him happy makes Benrey happy too. Funny how that works. "Good job, bud."

The nickname has them buzzing, the word "bud" bouncing around in their brain like a DvD screensaver on crack. But that's nothing compared to the way he bends to press a kiss to the top of their head, flooding them with this euphoria that has them full of energy and this restless, tingly feeling that has them following Gordon around like a puppy. He slings the bag around his shoulder, looking perky as he shuts the trunk doors.

"Alright," Gordon says. "Now, let me grab something to eat, then we can go fishing, see if maybe we can catch something to cook for lunch." They stare down at the bag as he speaks, internally vibrating with excitement while externally, they're just standing there, expressionless, but with their eyes dilated.

It's a simple thing, probably super boring to most people, but the promise to go fishing is really exciting. It reminds them of games like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, except this is real, they can actually go out and do it for real. They can eat the fish they catch, find out what they smell like, what scales feel like. There's just something so free and adventurous about it, as opposed to asking Tommy to bring various foods into the facility with him so they can eat it from a microwave. No longer confined, no rules, no limits.

After Gordon's got his boring cereal bars stuffed into his pockets, they head off, back to the lake they bathed in the day prior, as Gordon hums a jaunty little tune. The surface of the water is still, reflecting the clear sky and the morning sun like some kind of painting.

Once they've stepped out on the docks, Benrey kneels by the water, peering inside to try and see where the fish are, and how many there are. They don't have the slightest clue how this works—the day before, when they'd gone into the water, they hadn't seen any, but there's a lot more lake left unexplored. Benrey would suppose they're easily spooked, following Animal Crossing rules.

Lifting their head, they look around, spotting the skeleton before spotting Gordon. It's sitting on top of one of the larger rock formations nearby, making eye contact with them before it swaps to staring at Gordon. Benrey follows suit, finding Gordon staring warily back at the skeleton, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. Leaning back on their haunches, Benrey asks him, "How we fish?"

"Not really sure, to be honest," Gordon admits, setting the duffel bag on the pier before sitting down not far from them. "I've camped a fair bit, but I only ever went fishing when I was a kid. Mostly got drunk, smoked weed and fucked around. We're going to have to figure this one out together."

"Bro you smoke weed though?" Benrey says, shifting to sit more comfortably, legs hanging over the side of the pier where their boots just barely graze the edge of the water.

They lean back on their hands, before deciding to just lay down, staring up at the sky overhead, hair pooling up around them in messy tangles. Everything feels good right now, the weather is nice, the air is clear, their body feels loose and relaxed, and the map is clear of any immediate threats. Deeply inhaling a smoky, woodsy scent, Benrey turns to look up at Gordon, as he attempts to make sense of the fishing supplies the skeleton brought them.

"Used to," Gordon admits, fumbling to get the collapsible fishing rods to work. "Mostly in college. Had to stop when I started working at Black Mesa, though. I mean, they never did drug test me, but they said they might and I didn't wanna take any chances, you know?"

Benrey smirks, folding their arms behind their head. "Bro, everyone was smoking weed. Or the guards at least," they say, thinking back on their time as a security guard. It wasn't for very long, but that life was drastically different from the one they lived before it. Since none of the guards knew what Benrey really was, it was easy to blend in, to feel like they belonged, even if they had to cover up a lot of their more alien features; their eyes and claws being the first to go.

Although it was nice, they don't miss it. Every day started to blend together the longer it went on for—they made some new friends, had the freedom to roam, in exchange for manual labour and blind obedience to people that could easily put them back where they were before.

This, though? This is incredible. They're not sure if they're properly appreciating all of it, but it instills a sense of peace in them they hope they get to experience again.

"What?" Gordon exclaims. "Man, I missed out on Black Mesa's weed parties? I should've hung out with the guards more, the scientists were a bunch of squares."

Finally, Gordon manages to get the rods working, glancing Benrey's way with a victorious little smile that has butterflies fluttering around inside their chest. "I dunno how to use most of this stuff, so I'm thinking we'll start simple. We'll put some of these waxworms on a hook, throw it into the water and then wait and see if something bites. If we get bored, we can try out the other stuff, sounds good?"

To demonstrate, he fishes out some wriggly looking thing from out of a jar, his smile turning to disgust as he handles the creature, shoulders tensing up. Hooking it seems to be even worse, though Benrey can't fathom why. It's just, like, a little guy. A little wormy, maggot guy. Not that big of a deal.

Once Gordon's done, he breathes a sigh of relief, wiping his hand off on his pants before showing off the rod to Benrey. "And then you just…" As he reels back to swing his rod a bit awkwardly, Benrey sits up to watch, giving a polite golf clap as his lure strikes the surface of the lake with a satisfying plop. He turns to them with a bright smile that has them feeling fuzzy and warm. "And that's all there is to it."

"Huh," they mumble. That whole process looked easier than they expected. Very often they feel like everything is just, weird and difficult when translated into real life—especially driving, which is so, so weird and heavy—but that seemed about the same as a video game, more-or-less.

Without a word, they crawl over to the fishing supplies to grab another of everything Gordon used, copying him down to the letter. There's this temptation to put the waxworm into their mouth, though. It reminds them of this alien they don't know the name for, one they enjoy eating even more than the peeper puppies. Instead, after a few moments of intense staring and a little bit of sniffing, they attach it to the hook without issue, before stiffly casting it out into the water in a different direction from Gordon. Makes sense that way, they think.

Sitting back down next to him, they lean their head on his shoulder, holding the rod comfortably in their lap. Humming some blue like a contented sigh, they close their eyes, letting the gentle breeze blow through their hair.

"So," Gordon starts, as Benrey's eyes crack open ever-so-slightly to look up at him. "Pranking people and smoking weed. Did you get up to any more fun stuff?"

Humming a bit of gray sweet voice, Benrey thinks for a moment, enjoying the silence following Gordon's words before speaking up. "Uh," they smack their lips, looking out over the calm waters. Curling their legs off to one side, they scoot a little closer to Gordon, enjoying the proximity in this moment of stillness.

"You know how it is," Benrey vaguely remarks, turning their face towards Gordon's shoulder where they nuzzle in against him. "Smoking weed, sucking cock. End up six of you in a room and you're all on something and you get to meet the machine elves together. Bonded for life. Get real friendly with some of 'em and, uh, real pent up, next thing you know you're two in a closet and the rest is history."

Benrey tilts their head so they can look up at Gordon, yellow eyes flicking over his face. Humans are so interesting and Gordon is even more interesting than most, with little freckles, scars, and other marks Benrey doesn't even know the name for all over his skin, most only visible while up close like this. Plus the little indents along his nose bridge where his glasses dig into his flesh. That's cute. Benrey's skin doesn't do these things—even the bite mark Gordon left only remains because they willed it to.

"Woulda have liked you," Benrey says, voice taking on a lower, more mumbling quality. "You would've been their favorite, little, ponytail to yank around. Bet you'd like that, too. Bossed around by a bunch of guys in uniform? Huh? You into that, Freakman? Could tell you, they'd treat you reeeeaaallll good…" The image that conjures up in their brain is delectable, and horribly inappropriate for their current activity, but a good one to rotate around in their mind at a later date. They tilt their head down, forehead pressed against Gordon's shoulder. "Sorry. Horny's always on the brain."

A sharp tooth pulls at Benrey's lower lip for a moment, tilting their head back up to study the look on Gordon's face. Any worry that they were being gross is wiped from their mind completely by the look on his face, flushed red, eyes dark and hazy like he's imagining exactly what they've just laid out for him. And based on the way his lips part with interest, they'd say it's a fantasy he approves of. Which is… verrrrrry interesting.

They'd done a lot together recently, not even a full day had gone by between their escapade in the lake and the fun they'd had in the tent that morning. It's exactly the kind of pace Benrey enjoys, but they don't know about Gordon.

"Huh?" Gordon blurts, blinking rapidly as he comes back down to reality. "Yeah… no, don't—it's okay. I mean… let's just talk freely, man, okay? Get to know each other better, feel out the lay of the land."

Looking out across the water, Benrey ponders this for a moment, before asking, "You wanna Akinator about it? Ask me, ask you?" To be honest, they don't typically think to ask questions—information is either volunteered, or they don't get to know. Simple questions like "how do I do this" or "who are you" or "are you stealing this" are another thing entirely, but Gordon seems like he's aiming for this conversation to go deeper than "what's your favorite Digimon" or whatever.

"Sure, bud. Ask away," Gordon says. "I'm an open book."

Some time is needed for Benrey to ponder what they want to ask, staring out at the water and humming grey as they do so. Something eventually comes to mind, a fact they hadn't thought to question before now, a facet of Gordon's character that they haven't thought about in detail. So little does it cross their mind, in fact, that they're frequently forgetting about it. But after the events of yesterday morning, it's been on their mind more often. And now, if they're going to be… with him, whatever that entails, they should know about these things.

With a closed-mouth hum, Benrey awkwardly asks, "Hey, how do you have a son? What's that about." Not the most eloquently phrased, but, they're not exactly well-spoken, and they're sure Gordon knows that already.

"What, you never learned about the birds and bees?" Gordon teases, to which Benrey lets out an offended scoff.

"Duh, I know how babies are made, dummy," they gripe. For humans, anyway. How it works for them is a mystery. "Who you get baby from?"

This time, the laugh Gordon lets out is a subdued one, which has Benrey raising their gaze to watch Gordon's expression change, staring out on the still waters of the lake with a strangely somber smile. "My ex-husband, Alex, neither of us could have kids on our own," Gordon explains. "We had talked about adopting in the future but…"

He trails off. Teal bubbles drift out of Benrey's mouth, watching him with curiosity in their droopy eyes. Oh, no, is this a sads topic? Did they choose poorly?

Eventually, Gordon continues, tilting his head their way. "I had a sister, Janet, we used to be really close. She—She died, giving birth to Joshua. The father wasn't in the picture so she asked me to be there for the birth and—it, uh…" He trails off again, breathing deeply and raising a hand to rub at his eyes. The gesture has them sitting up to turn towards him with a yellow and green hum. "Sometimes, things go wrong during a birth. This was one of those times. I—I was the first to hold him after the doctors since—and I knew then and there that I would never let him go again."

Adoption, some bisexual fumbling, or transness had been Benrey's best guesses, theories that popped into their head and were promptly dismissed as they didn't care about any of it all that much, generally coasting through life letting things be simple. This, uh, well to say it's unexpected is an understatement.

"I told Alex I would adopt Joshua with or without him," Gordon says. "It was selfish of me, but I knew I had to do it. Luckily Alex is practically made to be a parent. He's much better than me, honestly. Even after the divorce, he… Joshua is lucky to have him as a dad. He's had primary custody since I work a lot on site in Black Mesa. It was suppose to be temporary, though. Not that it matters anymore."

This new info opens up so many other questions—and Benrey starts to wonder, just how much have they been looking at the people around them like… like nobodies, like NPCs in a video game? They never considered Gordon having a family outside his son, who they barely remember most of the time anyway, not to mention friends or exes. Neither have they actually pictured him away at college, or at home with his family, or, whatever other things humans do. They don't even know! Prom? Do people do prom in real life?!

There's so little to their own life but there's so much to Gordon's! Heartbreak, tragedy, death… they've got nothing but a huge gap in their memory where their childhood and teenage years should be, and then nothing but video games, sleeping around, dissociating, more hours lost to getting high…

Benrey pulls one hand off their fishing rod to put it around Gordon's waist instead, a soft gasp escaping him as they squeeze his side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He turns to look down at them, lips pressed to his shoulder, peering up at him in return and feeling him slowly relax in their grasp.

After what happened yesterday, the concept of losing someone permanently has become this dark cloud hanging over them wherever they go. They can't even imagine what life would be like if they lost someone important to them like that… the only person they've ever lost is still out there somewhere, presumably. And even if he wasn't, it's not like they'd ever know about it.

No, it's far different to witness it personally, as they almost did yesterday. It would break them. How could they go on without him? With… with nothing but his rotting corpse for company?

Rose red bubbles flow out of their mouth in a mournful aria, quiet, like the atmosphere surrounding the lake after that story. One of Gordon's hands moves down, hesitating before laying down over Benrey's, where it rests against his waist.

"Sorry, it… got a little heavy, there," Gordon says, as Benrey raises their head to peer up at him.. "You kinda pinpointed my one big tragedy." A weak laugh escapes him. "I promise you the rest of my backstory isn't this sad."

He wraps his fingers around the palm of their hand, gently squeezing them in a way that has pink bursting out of their mouth like some kind of squeaky toy.

"Joshua would like you, I think," Gordon continues. "He's loud, can't sit still, and loves to explore. His favourite things in the world are cowboys and numbers, he keeps counting everything he sees. Alex thinks he's going to become a math prodigy but I suspect he only likes pointing and yelling at stuff."

"Pointing and yelling is great," Benrey says. "You don't—you don't point and yell? That's weird, bro. You're weird."

That makes Gordon smile, which is a victory in and of itself. "Sorry, I'm a little too old to be pointing and yelling at things. Or too young, maybe. Not yelling at clouds yet."

He shakes his head, as Benrey scoots closer, their side pressing into Gordon's as they rest their head on his shoulder. The proximity is giving them those happy brain chemicals that makes their skin feel all tingly and warm. It comes out of them in pink and white sweet voice, the bubbles attracting Gordon's attention, staring at the little floating motes of colored light with fascination.

“So, what is sweet voice, really?" Gordon asks. "Like, I know both you and Sunkist have it, and that it expresses your feelings and stuff. But where did it come from? And what’s up with the rhymes?”

The question Gordon hands them isn't one Benrey expected. More of a mechanics thing than a backstory thing, but they can roll with it… sort of.

"Uh… s'just… what I got," Benrey awkwardly attempts to explain. "Comes from… me. Like, inside." They pat their chest. "Uh, you can't find it, though. I can just feel it, in there. How I ex-pwess my fee-fees and stuff y'know. Had to, learn, laugh and smile like a people, cuz no one's gonna know what I feel… well, Tommy did, but that's cuz he's sunshine light of my life apple eye whatever. Wrote a book on it and everything, secret book of colors just us. Then, uh… Tommy's like, brilliant, put part of me in the cauldron, stir up, happy birthday Sunkist we love you, but uh, hard to remember so many colors. Rhymes help. Called it… something. Pneumonia or whatever."

"Wait…" Gordon pulls out from their embrace in order to look down on Benrey, a barely contained giggle shining through in his voice. "You helped make Sunkist? Part of you is inside Sunkist?"

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, turning to face Gordon as he tries and fails to contain his laughter, a confused smile building on their face as teal sweet voice escapes past their lips. They just watch him laugh for a bit, fondness warming their chest as they place a hand on his back. "What? Why you laughing?"

Somehow, Gordon manages to contain his wheezing laughs enough to get out the words, "Does—Does that mean you're Sunkist's other parent? Dad—Daddy Benrey?!"

They're… oh fuck he's right! How did they not figure this out sooner?! There's so many dad jokes they could have been making, for years now! They know how baby making works, but when you pick it apart, it's just combining stuff from A with stuff from B to make C.

"Oh my god I'm dad now," Benrey says, once everything's finished processing in their brain. The teal they were humming turns green. "Dad for dad!"

They do remember Sunkist as a little baby—they'd held him and helped Tommy bottle feed him, though Tommy did most of the work. Almost all of it, really, which… according to TV and movies, is exactly what the dad does: plays with the kid and not much else. Sunkist was really small back then, but Tommy's doting nature helped him grow into the behemoth he is now. Benrey likes to think they helped.

This realization has them really giddy, and seeing Gordon enjoy it so much makes it infinitely better. "Bro Josh has a brother now," Benrey says, clueless to the source of the surprised look Gordon shoots them in response.

"Uhhh, let's not—Get ahead of ourselves," Gordon says, and as Benrey's brows furrow, confused, he scrambles to add, "You gotta put a ring on it first, okay? That's—You don't just become some kid's stepdad because you want to, you gotta meet him first, and…" The totally vacant look in Benrey's eyes has him trailing off. "Nevermind. It'll be fine. Anyway, it's your turn. Ask me anything."

Tilting their head against Gordon's shoulder, Benrey hums in thought. This time, it's much easier to navigate their way to a question they want to ask. "You have fambly?" Benrey asks, speaking in a lighthearted, meandering tone interspersed with little bursts of green sweet voice. "People birthed you? What's, they like."

Gordon grimaces. Not… the reaction they expected. "Yeah, got a mom and a dad, they're alright…"

The way he says that, like they're some shitty toys he got for Christmas that he has to pretend to like, really throws Benrey off. What's with that? Didn't they raise him, show him love, take him… uh, prom dress shopping? What's with the animosity?

"Got along better with Aunt Daisy though," he continues, brightening considerably at the change in topic. That name has their full attention, hanging off his every word as he speaks. "She was a real southern belle, had a little farm here in New Mexico. Spent most of my summers there, running around like a real wild child. She showed me all kinds of things, like how to catch fireflies and put them in jars. Oh, and the few times I fished, it was with her. I could always ask her questions, and she never thought I was annoying when those questions led to more questions. She had like eight cats and no husband, so I guess she was what you'd call a crazy cat lady. She was happy like that though, always said that men would 'cramp her style'."

Gordon chuckles at that, and Benrey hums more green, sharing in his delight at the memory. It's all very cute and picturesque, and… the more Benrey thinks about it, the more it sounds very familiar. Fields of corn and wheat, disappointingly small in comparison to what Benrey had seen in cartoons. A two story, white panel house with cherry red roofing, a brown tabby on the roof, surrounded by lilac bushes, dirt roads, the sun shining overhead…

Benrey stares up at Gordon, taking in the faint freckles on his face and his animated way of speaking, hands always moving. They think about earthworms and creak water, black streaks up to their elbows and knees that Gordon called mud, always puzzled as to why it wouldn't wash away in the hose outside the house. They think about all the corn they'd destroyed as a joke, fulfilling an alien's role on a human farm, though only Benrey could see the shape they were making from the overhead map in their head. It's almost cringey to remember how they'd insisted on calling his aunt a princess because of her name, yet never met her personally, scurrying off like a feral cat, afraid of adults and what they'd do if they were found out in the open.

Their gaze shifts down towards the water. How does Gordon not remember any of that? Black Mesa didn't Men in Black him, did they? Benrey knows very little about the mechanics of human memory, their own memory borders on flawless in comparison. They remember Gordon's messy curls and the bandaids on his knees and how he'd fall down just to get back up and start running around again. How he showed them the proper way to pet a cat—the kitties always liked them better than him, for some reason—and all sorts of other things only useful or meaningful to a child. Mud pies and climbing trees and picking up snakes with sticks, or bare hands in Benrey's case.

"My turn," Gordon says. "So… what's Tommy like in bed?" 

They're so lost in these memories, and the bittersweet feelings of nostalgia that come with them, that when they hear Gordon's question, it's like being splashed over the head with cold water. Benrey's head whips around to face him, a surprised teal sweet voice shooting out of their mouth as they take in his pose, legs crossed, head propped on his hand, looking at them with a devious and smug expression.

"HUH?" they blurt. Their mind races, heat flashing over them at the memory that springs forth, tinting their face a deep blue-violet. Tommy crawling into bed with them, tasting the citrus from his lip balm and feeling his soft, smooth hands trail down their neck to unbutton their uniform shirt. That sense of vertigo as he'd gently pushed them into the pillows, soothing their nerves with kisses all over their body, gentle touches dancing across their flesh as their hands trembled against his back—

Benrey averts their gaze so fast they nearly snap their own neck. "Uhhhh. Uhhhhh huh? What? He's like—you know, wuhh." An angel is what they want to say to protect Tommy's image, but they remember other times too, where their tie was clutched tightly in a pale fist, head pushed into the pillows, choking on rust-colored sweet voice as they got their first taste of what it's like to have a writhing tentacle pushed deep inside them, sticking to their inner walls and lapping at them like a long, soft yellow tongue.

"He's kind of a freak," Benrey says in a low voice just barely above a whisper, not realizing those words have left them until it's far too late to take them back. Would Tommy be mad? No, they have it on very good authority that he wouldn't be. "Makes me feel small, in a good way though. Spoiled. And he's bossy and mean but in like a nice way. Uhhh he uhh…"

This next part gets Benrey really embarrassed, pink and yellow flowing out of their mouth. Even worse is the shame over how hot the memory gets them. "He used to step on me, and, and—nevermind you don't wanna hear about that but. He's really nice to me, wasn't, bothered at all. We haven't… I mean we haven't slept together in a few months but it's like, you know."

With where Benrey's mind is going, the slightest brush of Gordon's body against theirs draws their attention immediately, gaze darting down to where his boot presses into their thigh. This makes it difficult to convince their mind to get off this horny track and into something more appropriate—but it's also hard to give a shit when their mind is vividly recalling the details of some of their encounters with Tommy, inhaling sharply at the sound of Gordon's voice basically encouraging them to do so.

"Dommy Tommy, huh," Gordon muses. His voice has taken on a huskier quality as he murmurs the words into Benrey's hair. "Kinda wanna know more, actually. What did he do when he stepped on you?"

"Uh," they start, struggling to focus on anything in particular. Their skin feels hot and their eyes glaze over, getting lost in memories of Tommy indulging them in what they'd quickly learned was a very humiliating fetish to have. Most people go straight to "foot fetish" when talking about the kinds of kinks they hope you don't have, and they'd expected Gordon to feel the same way. A tentacle fetish seems normal in comparison, after all, it's basically all about dominance, control, and being stimulated in a different sort of way, but in the same places.

"He's jus'… uh," Benrey stammers, drunkenly slurring their words. "You know, Tommy… he'll tell me to, get down on my knees, h-he, uh—he's got those, put on the, the. He got those b-black wingtips. Always know, puts, puts those on—and uh. He's, like, on the bed, touching my face, making me lick them, suck on them—uhhh you know normal—normal stuff between bros. Uhhh. And sometimes he, uh, makes me, put my hands… can't touch, and he shoves, uh, with his—you know. Pushes down on my chest and uh, stands over me, like—pushing my head into the carpet and, he calls me… uh, actually you don't need to know what he calls me. That's for me. Secret to everyone."

In actuality, this is just getting too humiliating to talk about. Their breaths have grown shallow, a pressure building between their legs where their cock is starting to peek out of its sheath. Not to mention the boot pressing into their thigh, but, if they think about that too deeply they'll probably do something stupid, like cream their pants right in front of Gordon.

A shiver rolls down Benrey's spine as they feel Gordon's finger brush against their midriff, dipping beneath their shirt. It's impossible to stop themself from arching their back to press themself into his touch. They can feel him teasing them with the tip of his boot against their thigh, purposeful, and the thought of Gordon playing right into their disgusting little fetish has Benrey's stomach tightening with lust.

Taking an unsteady breath, they lay their hand down over Gordon's, directing his hand up under their shirt to rest against their waist. The thick size and shape of his hands, not to mention the warmth that burns their skin so perfectly, has their cock slipping fully out to create a noticeable tent in their jeans, a pleasurable tingle running up their spine.

Desire clouds their mind and they're not entirely sure where they are or what's happening—Gordon's teeth nipping at their ear and the sound of his voice have them lean into him, breathing loud and slow.

"You have anything you want to ask me?" Gordon asks them, nuzzling into their hair as the tip of his boot rubs tantalizingly along their thigh, prompting them to part.

Inhaling deeply, Benrey guides Gordon's hand down towards their thighs. A sharp tooth tugs at their bottom lip, brain turning fuzzy. It wasn't that long ago that they had sex but Gordon is clearly interested in going again—or he's power tripping, trying to get a rise out of them and see how much he can push their buttons, which is such an enticing concept that Benrey can feel their cock throb in response.

"Uh," Benrey breathes, their free hand keeping the fishing rod steady, even though they've stopped caring about that by now. They tilt their head back along Gordon's shoulder. "You, uh…"

They pause to wet their lips, mouth going dry. They're not sure what they expect right now, what's going to happen next. Surely he's not gonna offer to step on them or let them suck his toes—they'd prefer to make that more of a, special thing anyway. Not on a fishing pier, that is. Comfy, cozy, foot rub, that sort of thing. He could jack them off, finger them while he's at it, but, what does he get out of that?

"What do you want? From me. Right now," Benrey blurts, feeling more reassured that they've asked the right question after it's all out there, putting the onus on Gordon to sort through their tangled, horny thoughts to his desired outcome. There's a time to be bossy and demanding and that time isn't right now, they want to give up and give in for a little bit, like with Tommy. Like what they've done for Gordon.

Like what they've been fantasizing about since they ran into him again at Black Mesa, his hand around their nape holding them down as he rams his cock deep inside them, tells them how worthless they are. Crushing them in those big, clunky orange boots, spitting on them, shoving them up against a wall in one of Black Mesa's many corridors to put them in their place, leave them dizzy and brainless, they'd listen then. Do whatever he asked, just so long as he'll do it again, push their mouth on his cock until they choke—the thought of it all has them dizzy already, their hand idly rubbing up and down his wrist.

The rod is pulled from their hands, pinned under the heavy duffel bag with Gordon's. Teal escapes Benrey's mouth as they're hefted into Gordon's lap, positioned to suit his needs, a little doll maneuvered by his massive hands, making them feel even smaller than Tommy ever could. That was all about attitude, about class—this is something decidedly more rugged. Tommy's always so nice to them, telling them where to go and how pretty they look doing it. As intoxicating as that is, they want something entirely different from Gordon.

His hands rubbing their thighs and the hard shape of his cock pressing into them through his jeans has a jolt of arousal shooting through Benrey's body, hips squirming against him, breaths hot and fast. They're not entirely sure what to do with their hands, but as Gordon moves closer towards their neck, they end up with them loosely grasping onto Gordon's shirt.

"If I could, I'd have Tommy help me," Gordon says. "Both of us standing over you, him working your face with those black wingtips while I step right down on your pretty little tentacle with these boots. That's why you got them for me, isn't it? You've wanted this since you first scanned my feet, haven't you?"

The sound of his voice has them shivering and letting out a low groan, jerking their hips forward.

"Yeah," they breathe, trying to bury their face in his neck when they're yanked back by his hand in their hair, a stuttered moan escaping them. Gordon’s eyes flick over the marks he left on them that morning, a low whimper tumbling out of them as their body quivers with need.

His mouth finds the bite mark on their neck, kissing reverently. The action has them inhaling sharply, breaths stuttering, body tense with anticipation of teeth sinking into their flesh. As if they're fumbling for the controls in a game, they find the part of their brain responsible for their pain response and switch that shit the fuck on, moaning and writhing at the feeling of Gordon's lips pressing tightly around the mark. The sting sends pleasure shooting through their body, heat coiling low in their stomach as their lashes flutter, mouth hanging open, rust orange sweet voice drifting lazily out of it.

"I want…" Gordon breathlessly continues, as Benrey hangs off his every word, memorizing the sound and shape of each syllable so they can replay it later. "To make you fall apart beneath me. To see you lose control like I do every time you touch me. I want to break you apart and put you back together again so I can pretend you're mine."

The hand gripping their hair tightens, as Gordon gives a slow roll of his hips, sending pleasure rocketing through Benrey's body.

"I want you to beg me for what you want."

Already Benrey can feel themself being torn apart, reduced to base urges, mind flooded with heat and Gordon's scent and the flutter of his pulse and his dick pressing into them. His hand in their hair and along their thigh. Their body reduced to the steady thrum of adrenaline and the pleasure coursing through their veins, the pressure between their legs begging for relief.

"Uhuh—uhhh—" Benrey whines, leaning their head back into Gordon's grasp as they grind desperately down into his lap. What… what do they want? They can barely think, but the longer they're forced to sit here squirming and writhing the more they're able to concoct all sorts of things. "W-Want that… not, not like Tom—Tommy, like you. Want you, I want you, please. Big and, angry and mean, pinning me, calling me worthless, grind me into the dirt I'm your little—hhahhhh—fucktoy—'m sooo disgusting, ruining our little, trip gotta—uhhh, haahhh—gotta punish me, 'm so filthy, pl-please, Gordon—spit on me, spit in my mouth, call me a freak, hurt me, hurt me soooo bad I want it, please, please sirrrr…"

Thinking isn't within their capabilities right now, unaware of where they even are besides in Gordon's lap, in his grasp, at his mercy. For all they know, they're still back at Black Mesa, in the sand behind a building, grinding desperately against Gordon like a dog in heat while he holds them back by the hair. And he must think they're sooo disgusting, absolutely repulsive, and he'll… he'll…

Before they know it, their head collides with the pier, ears ringing, stars blotting out their vision as the sluggish haze of their mind struggles to catch up, panic twisting in their gut, but the arousal makes them slow—too slow to get back up, ignoring their natural instincts.

"So that's why you did it, huh?" Gordon's voice is rough, anger mixed with arousal dripping off every syllable. "That's why you kept pushing and pushing and pushing me back at Black Mesa, isn't it? You wanted me mean and scary, you wanted me to hurt you!"

The rage in Gordon's voice pins them in place, heat gathering between their legs until they can feel their own slick dripping down their inner thigh, hole pulsing and lust clouding their mind until the only thing they want is to be filled. It's the only thing they exist for, an outlet for Gordon's rage, a place to bury his cock.

"Mhmm," they agree, slurring and mumbling as the rust-colored sweet voice drips off their lip like a stream of blood onto the wood boards. Their claws scrabble at the boards, a startled moan escaping them as they're yanked up by the belt, but they make no move to resist. Their cock is throbbing so intensely they're a little worried about actually creaming their pants. "Yeah, yeah… hahhh hurt me, please, step on me…!"

"Don't worry, you'll get what you want," Gordon assures them. "But on my terms. You spent too long controlling the game, it's my turn now."

Gordon uses a knee to push their thighs apart, forcing them into a presenting position. One strong hand keeps their hips in place, the other pinning their neck. Being parted so roughly and put on display like this sends a sharp thrill coursing through their body, fear and desire in a poisonous cocktail.

"I’m giving you an out, if you need it," he continues. "If you want me to stop you say, uh… 'X-Box' and I’ll stop. You got that, freak? Repeat it for me."

"X-Box," Benrey gasps out, claws blistering the wood in their attempt to keep from touching themself, cock aching between their trembling legs. They squirm to try and rub their thighs together, anything to relieve that pressure, that desperate urge to be filled. They want to clip right through the fabric and shove three fingers inside themself but that's like dessert before dinner. It has to be Gordon, it NEEDS to be Gordon. "Ahhhh—Yeah 'm a freak, please…"

- ♡ -

Gordon watches the scene before him with an odd sense of detachment. Whether Benrey even understood the safe word or is just mindlessly obeying orders, he's not sure. Had it been anyone else, Gordon would have called it here, started the aftercare followed by a debriefing. But Benrey isn't anyone else. However much he tries to tell himself this is just a scene, that he's just acting mean, deep down, Gordon knows that isn't true. This is personal.

After making sure Benrey's legs are properly spread, the hand on their hip finds its way between their thighs, roughly squeezing their bulge. Their slick seeps through their tight black pants, dampening the fabric, and his fingers.

"Ahhh—!" Benrey chokes on a moan, hips stuttering forward into Gordon's grasp as their claws start to break through the wood of the pier. They squirm, tentacle writhing to get away from the hand clamping harshly down around it even as they push their hips into the touch, desperate for contact.

"No touching yourself. You take what I give you, and nothing more. You don't need more…" Leaning in close, he presses his crotch against their ass, his voice a low hiss in their ear. "…You don't deserve more."

They whimper and groan, delirious, in equal parts pushing forward into Gordon's hand and back into the outline of his dick against their ass. "Yeah, 'm nothing," they agree, burying their face into the pier with a gasp. Like a dog, he's claiming them, asserting dominance to show them who's really in charge. "D-Don't—deserve… ahhhh—u-use me, please, sir…"

A part of Gordon wants to stay rutting against Benrey's ass while whispering filth into their ear. Feel them squirm uselessly beneath him until it gets to be too much, and they cum miserably in their pants. Though, while it's the perfect torture for the cock hungry alien, Gordon doesn't feel like being stuck in his pants longer than necessary. It's barely been an hour since he was last inside them but he's already missing the feeling of them clamping down around him.

The hand still gripping their crotch makes quick work of their pants, yanking everything down to reveal a mouthwatering sight. Before, he'd only caught a glimpse of their slit, but now they're on display in all their glistening glory.

Their creamy, toned thighs are already drenched in their pale blue juices, oozing from their slit that pulsates with need, tentacle slipping out the top. The slimy appendage tries its best to wrap around Benrey's thigh, before writhing against their waist where their crewneck rides up, getting traces of their slick all over their skin. Their hips shift in little movements, humping the air.

Gordon swallows down the words of awe resting on the tip of his tongue. This isn't the time to compliment one of the sexiest things he's ever seen. Benrey doesn't want compliments, Benrey doesn't deserve compliments. Instead, he shoves two fingers inside them, watching as the small shifting of their hips turn into sharp, greedy thrusts. The dam breaks on what was left of Benrey's composure, borderline sobbing as they grind into Gordon's hand.

Blackened claws move from the wood boards to Benrey's hair, gripping tightly around the tangled ebony strands. "Thank you…!" they cry out, their groans and whimpers loud enough to scare any birds that might have flocked into the area.

Watching them act this debased is almost too much. Their little moans and whimpers wash over him in waves, body flashing with heat until it feels like he's boiling in his t-shirt and jeans. It feels like he's seeing them for the first time, this pathetic, desperate creature who wants nothing more than for him to use them in any way he can. He'd thought they only wanted him if he gave himself to them completely—Isn't that what they asked for, that very same morning?

Apparently there's more to it than he thought. The realization drives him mad with power. How far can he push, all for the promise of a foot pressed into their cock?

"Hasn't been an hour since I fucked you last time, and already you're like this?" he taunts, their slick dripping down his fingers as their hole pulses around him. "Fucking slut. Should find a dildo and have you sit on that for the rest of the drive. Bet that's the only thing that would keep you satisfied."

- ♡ -

"Yeah—! Oh fuck," Benrey whines, the thought of having something shoved inside them that long driving them wild. They can picture themself, debased and whining and clinging to the back of their seat, desperately humping a toy as it makes them cum over and over. Make it a vibrator, put the remote in Gordon's hands to fidget with as he drives, keep them cumming until they're vibrating nearly as much as the toy… the thought shorts out their mind entirely, on the verge of cumming already.

Their fantasy gets cut short very abruptly by the pain shooting up their arm into their shoulder a Gordon wrenches their arm behind their back, a gasp tearing out of them in blood red. "AAaaggghhh—! FUCK!" they cry out, squirming against his hold just to feel those bursts of pain that go right between their legs, to their wriggling cock that twitches and spasms with each one. As he leans in over the top of them, bracing his elbow against their back, their hole clamps down around his fingers, turning their head to look up at his face.

Dizzy and delirious, Benrey barely recognize the shape of his clothes, instead seeing the HEV suit, a desert sun overhead, white buildings towering over them with sweat coating Gordon's pale brown skin. They see the cold glare of his hatred reflected in his eyes, that darkness broiling beneath the surface that they hope bursts forth and takes them down with it. It makes them feel weak, legs buckling as more fingers get added, pathetic whines and whimpers coming out of them.

"Is this what you imagined?" Gordon taunts. "Every time I punched you and shot at you in Black Mesa, did that get you all hot and bothered?"

"Yeah—! Ohhh fuck, fuckfuckfuck," Benrey babbles, burying their face into their free arm, though it does nothing to silence their cries, or the sweet voice coming out of them, they don't even know what fucking color it is anymore, they're feeling so much, red, yellow, orange in bursts. "Wh-Why you think I was… gone misssssing—Sssoooo good, Gordon… fuck…!"

"Tell me, Benrey, what sick little fantasies did you have about me back then?"

"God, jus' want—snap at me, hold me down, tear my clothes off n' fuck me—fuaahhh—keep… hahhh real, quiet then, behave—shut me up, shove your cock down my throat, rub it raw, won't talk th—ohhh god—I c-can't, Gordon, please—!"

"I've barely touched you and you're already begging for it, pathetic." 

Benrey whimpers pathetically at his words, shame and arousal shooting through them in equal waves. He's right, they're too into this already, but they can't fucking think straight, overwhelmed by all the feelings coursing through their body, the pain, fear, and adrenaline heightening the pleasure and euphoria until it's all they know.

Openly drooling orange sweet voice onto the docks, Benrey's voice wavers as they babble, "I am, I'm sssooo pathetic—aaAHhh—!" Their hips jerk as Gordon spanks them, the act forcing a dribbling of clear, blue precum to drip out of their cock and onto the pier. Their thighs quiver, and they press back into his hand, even as they wish he'd drag nails over the stinging mark on their ass instead. They moan as he swats them again, sending a harsh burst of pleasure right down to their cock.

"Not sure you deserve my cock, honestly. You've gotten it once today already, maybe I'll just keep fucking you like this," he pushes his fingers in again, slower, too slow. "And cum all over your back. But you'd like that, too, wouldn't you? You'd take anything I gave you like the desperate little slut you are."

"Mmmhhh—hhahh—" The fingers working them over are pure bliss, eyes fluttering shut and mouth hanging open on a constant stream of noise, whimpers, reedy whines, an erotic sweet voice melody in shades of orange and pink. "Whhhahh—an, anythhh, hhhing—" Desperately, they push themself back on his fingers, needing more, needing him deeper, it just isn't enough.

When he removes his fingers they practically start crying, loudly whining and shoving their hips back towards him, to no avail. Then something much bigger and hotter than a finger presses up against them and they freeze, breaths stuttering, body taut with anticipation.

"Maybe I'll give you a little taste, let you warm me while I jerk myself off."

As he pushes in they cry out, pulling their hand away from their hair to slam it down on the pier instead, nails digging into the wood like they're soft little grains of sand instead. And then he stops, greeting them with just the tip, their hole clenching around him in bursts, struggling to steal any pleasure they can get from him without just shoving their hips back and taking it—they can't take, they need it given to them, but Gordon's seeing fit to torture them instead.

It's not enough, they feel like they're going fucking insane, what did they do to deserve this? Why isn't he pounding them into oblivion already? "Please—fucking, fuck me, please, want your cum, fffffuahh, fill me, please," Benrey begs, fingers and toes curling with the effort not to take, that's not how this works.

But it's so, fucking, HARD not to shove back and take all of him into them—so instead, they change their tone completely. "Hhhahhh—fucking—Dhhh—Dumb, idiot, bitch—fuck me already…! Don't, hhahh, know how to use your, sad, useless cock, gotta do—eevvvv—every, thhhhing around h-here… gotta, ffffuahh, fucking, vibe whh-with my name on it, go back, fffhhh, fuck, do it myself—!"

- ♡ -

Gordon feels himself go hot and cold all over. The poison spewing out of Benrey's mouth right now rings a little too close to Black-Mesa-Benrey for comfort. All that rage he'd held inside, kept caged just to be utilized for their scene, bursts forth in a raging inferno. With a snarl, he snaps his hips forward, burying himself deep into Benrey's gloriously wet, tight heat. Yanking both arms behind their back in a white-knuckled grip, he fists his other hand into their hair, wrenching it up off the wooden surface of the pier, torn asunder and stained with their drool.

"You little shit, you think you can talk to me like that? You're nothing, nothing but a warm hole for me to fuck!"

Letting go of their hair, he takes ahold of their chin, pressing the fingers still coated in Benrey's slick into their mouth. A thrill shoots up his spine as their sharp teeth press into his skin, teeth he's seen bite through solid metal. Only a little tighter, and he'd be a few fingers short.

But isn't that the point? Benrey could kill or main him at any time, if they so choose. But what this all powerful alien has chosen to do instead is to bend over like a cheap slut and beg for his cock. Again, there's that dizzying sense of power, like holding a sun in his hand. The anger still burns in his chest, fueled by the need to prove to Benrey exactly what he can do.

They feel so good like this, obediently sucking on his fingers instead of spewing more bullshit, arching their back so prettily, taking his cock so well. They're so fucking beautiful, drooling around his fingers, eyes rolled back, body flushed and bruised. They should always be like this, a dark part of Gordon muses, always bent to the breaking point, silent and a good little hole for him. 

- ♡ -

Before Benrey can even react, they've been yanked back, pain shooting across their scalp that tingles down their neck and spine, both arms pinned behind their back in a way that makes them feel naughty, a bad boy being properly punished by Gordon's delicious cock ramming in and out of them, bruising their thighs. A series of noises tumble out of them, pathetic and loud, pain mixed with pleasure. If they could speak it would be to scream thank you as they've been taught, but there's no room for speech anymore, eyes rolling back as a grin wobbles on their lips. The sweet voice that draws over their tongue tastes like victory.

The aggression in Gordon's voice has them tricked into thinking he can actually hurt them, actually do some damage, and fear laces through them in a way that heightens their senses, a way that makes them feel small and pathetic and worthless save for being a tool for Gordon's pleasure.

And it's pure bliss. Their body trembles, tense with the uncomfortable position he's put them in. Though they could break out of this at literally any time it still makes them feel powerless, completely at his mercy, and they moan at the thought. They'd love to be his, his toy, kept around just for him to pin down and fuck whenever the mood strikes. They'd let him.

A whine escapes them as he releases their hair, head about to fall limp back onto the pier before he grips them by the chin, fingers pushing past their lips. They freeze, moaning as they realize it's the same hand he fingered them with, their sweet slick smeared over their tongue. It's dangerous shoving into their mouth like that without warning. He's lucky they've been trained already, teasing but never so much as knicking him on their sharp, knife-like teeth as they wrap their lips around him and suck eagerly, moans muffled around his fingers.

"Acting like you weren't begging for my cock a second ago," Gordon growls. "All I had to do to get you like this was poke you with the tip of my boot." Agonizingly slow, Gordon pulls out. "You want it rough that bad, huh?" The sharp thrust of Gordon's hips has he shoves back inside has Benrey nearly biting down on his fingers. "You don't deserve it. Pathetic little bitch, should learn to just take what you get and say thank you."

With their mouth full it's hard for Benrey to argue. Instead they groan and whimper, orange sweet voice flooding their mouth and staining Gordon's fingers.

Eyes rolling back, Benrey quickly finds their mind fizzling out into nothing, nothing but the snap of Gordon's hips, slapping against their ass and burying his cock deep inside them, pushing against their suckers that eagerly kiss his tender flesh. They're just getting used to it when they feel his fingers shove deeper inside their mouth, making it harder to breathe and get the sweet voice out of them properly, the rust orange they can't control just like they can't stop their loud groans and whines.

There's no wrong throat-tube for it to go down, so instead they end up ingesting it, gagging as it floods down their throat. As if they weren't horny enough already, suddenly their body is blazing hot and a million times more sensitive. They can feel every inch of Gordon's cock dragging against their inner walls and along their many suckers, pleasure bursting like fireworks inside them.

The rust turns plum, body going taut, their orgasm hitting them with the subtlety of a truck as their vision shorts out, hips jerking, cock painting the pier below them blue with their cum. Their hole clenches tight around Gordon's cock, body shaking, legs nearly giving out as they squirm fruitlessly from the force of their orgasm.

But the plum goes down their throat as well, mixing with the rust still processing through their system that keeps them just as sensitive, just as hard, just as ready to be pounded as they were before. And they cum again, dry this time, seconds from actually biting Gordon's fingers off when they clip one of their arms outside his grasp, desperately grasping onto his wrist to yank his fingers back out. Plum spills forth in a malformed series of bubbles, their hand scrambling to grab onto Gordon's, intertwining their fingers as they ride through the aftershocks of their second orgasm.

Once it passes, they feel wrung out and exhausted, but still hopelessly horny. "Keep… keep going," they breathe, not satisfied until they're completely broken, until he has to cradle them in his arms—or spit on their face and walk away to leave them in a puddle of their own mess. The thought makes them shiver. "Please," they beg, when Gordon remains still inside them.

And then they're drawn back against Gordon's chest, his arms winding around them, hands still interlinked and resting over where Benrey's heart would be, if they had one. Exhaling a startled breath, their body tenses in anticipation of pain or some sudden movement, but nothing ever comes. A low whimper escapes them, cock pulsing weakly between their legs. That's when his hips start to move again, pushing deep inside with every thrust, a pathetic whine tumbling out of them as their body quivers.

"So good, so good for me," Gordon praises, lavishing their neck and shoulder with tender kisses that contrast heavily with the rough fucking they've gotten up to this point. Confused, their mind races, wondering what the hell's going on, the sudden affection throwing them so far off course that they don't know how to get back.

"Ah—I—G-Gordon," they rasp, throat burning from the sweet voice they'd choked down earlier. It's all so different that the adrenaline coursing through them doesn't know what to do, making them restless as they push back against him, head tilting towards his shoulder, giving him room to work. "Gordon," they babble, aimlessly calling his name. "Uhhh—G-Gordon—"

"Doing so well, so perfect, my pretty little toy."

The praise ends up breaking them, breaths growing shallow as rose red sweet voice brushes past their lips and into the open air—a warm, passionate red, that doesn't mean anything warm or passionate at all. They're so overwhelmed and confused, tears building in their eyes and overflowing down their cheeks even as they press closer, pushing their hips back into him.

The feeling of his cock driving into them still sends pleasure dancing across their thighs and up their spine, even if it feels like it shouldn't be possible, like they've spent everything and should be a puddle on the ground. His hand stroking their cock in time with the cock pounding into them is too much and exactly what they need at the same time, tentacle coiling lazily around his hand.

"Come on, you can do one more," Gordon urges. "One more for me and I'll fill you up, I'll give you what you want, anything you want."

"I… oh fuck," Benrey groans at Gordon's promise, taking his hand and forcing it up under their shirt. Not even bothering to brush past a nipple, instead splaying it over their sternum, the delicious heat and the feeling of skin-on-skin flooding them with a fuzzy, pink feeling, so pink it starts to turn red. Their mind goes blank, hearing nothing but Gordon's promise on repeat. They whine pathetically, hips struggling to follow Gordon's steady rhythm in pursuit of the one more he wants, the pressure between their thighs building higher and more intense.

His praise and encouragement replays in their mind, gaze going as fuzzy as their brain. Teeth tease their bottom lip, though when they finally crest their mouth hangs open in a series of broken moans, eyes corked shut and leaning heavily back against Gordon as their hips jerk. The tentacle wrapped around Gordon's hand squeezes, pulsing before hot spurts of pale blue cum shoot out of the tip, dripping over Gordon's skin and onto the pier below.

Once their orgasm passes, they slump bonelessly back against Gordon, mind completely empty with one final plum-colored sweet voice bubble drifting out of their mouth before they're done. There's a ringing in their ears and they don't know where they are, but they press closer to the warmth at their back, desperate.

- ♡ -

Benrey's desperate little plea as they came undone had all the anger in Gordon's system evaporating in the blink of an eye, drowned out by a wave of affection. He no longer cares if they want more mean Gordon. He can fuck them into oblivion while praising them, and they'll just have to deal with it. That isn't to say he doesn't intend to torture them some more, though, overwhelming them with more and more until they're driven mad with pleasure.

Though his praise is slowly devolving into babbling as pleasure overtakes his brain. Benrey is so soft, so warm and perfect around him. The rows of suckers keep stimulating that sensitive part just below his head and it's pulling him closer and closer to the edge. But he wants to hold out, wants to make Benrey fall apart one last time. Wants to break them completely until all that exists in their world is his name and the feeling of his cock.

It's what he's been craving this whole time, them unable to say anything but his name. Delivered to a place of pure bliss where there is only pleasure, pain, and him. As Benrey tips over the edge once more, Gordon can't help the hum of satisfaction that emanates from his chest.

"Good, good boy. Did so fucking good. Perfect… ahaa—My perfect—" The pleasure mounts at the base of his spine, until he snaps his hips forward one final time. "Ahhaa—C-Cumming—I… Benrey!"

He doesn't white out this time around, instead Gordon is aware of every single pulse of his cock as he fills them up. Benrey is still twitching in his arms, hole clenching around him, barely past their third orgasm and the combination is exquisite. Even the suckers inside them seem to quiver as he coats them with bursts of hot, sticky cum.

After what feels like an eternity and only a few seconds simultaneously, Gordon finally stills inside them, head buried in their shoulder idly pressing kisses to the bite mark he'd left there.

"Did so good. So good, did everything I told you. So perfect. My pretty, pretty Benrey."

The praise falls from his lips automatically, as natural as his heaving breaths. But the longer he remains here holding them up against him, the more his knees are starting to burn. Somehow, he manages to maneuver them both to lie down on the pier, on his back with Benrey cushioned against his chest. All the while, he keeps peppering kisses to Benrey's face, tasting salty-sweet tears on their cheeks. In this moment, Benrey belongs fully to him, and he intends to bask in this feeling for as long as they'll let him.

"I'm here babe, I'm here," he soothes, hand stroking over their back, through their hair, pulling up their crew neck and his own t-shirt so they get more skin-to-skin contact. It feels important, like it'll comfort them in this mindless place he's brought them to. "You're okay, did so good. I love you."

If he can, he hopes to carve those words into Benrey, the words they dragged out of him so easily. Now he wields them like chains, twisting them around Benrey, binding them together so they won't ever leave him. If they do, he won't survive, isn't sure he can cope with the loss of this thing they've got going, this thing that brings him such respite from the horrors of the world around them.

- ♡ -

Benrey feels themself drifting. They're half aware of their trembling, sticky, worn out body, and half somewhere far away, mind buzzing like an old monitor rejecting outside input. There's just one thing blaring like a siren through the foggy haze of their mind.

This isn't Gordon. The Gordon Freeman they know is dismissive, rude, angry, and violent. He has moments of being nice to everyone except them, unless you count small slivers of kindness, like a promise to kiss that never came to fruition. That was all just a joke to him.

Only Tommy is ever nice to them—he's loved and cherished them from the moment they met, no one else would. Because he's like them, except that he's not. He's good, so good.

Gordon is different. They've craved something from him that Tommy couldn't give them, that they don't want from him. Aggression. But, as they've come to realize, that aggression doesn't encompass the whole of Gordon's personality; no, the more they see of him, the more they're convinced he's a much softer person than initial impressions would have them believe.

Except to Benrey. Because, they… they made him this way. He made them bad and they made him bad as well, a toxic give-and-take where they only serve to make each other worse. And they can't take that back. He said it himself, they broke him. And you don't fix that kind of damage overnight, the kind that makes you want to stop existing, you don't.

Inhaling a deep, shuddering breath like a man drowning, Benrey blinks, taking in their situation. They haven't been here in awhile, but if they think hard enough they remember some things, like Gordon kissing them and calling them pretty. Their hands rest limp against his chest, must have put them there themself. Their breaths are unsteady, easily passed off as something sexual, but.

They hear his words, his declarations, he speaks them so easily but every single one has barbs forming inside their body. That ache, that pang of love and affection, torn apart by the anxiety and fear coursing through their veins.

How could Gordon love them? He's the free one, here, he knows how relationships work, he's lived twenty-seven years of real world experience up to now. By his own admission, it's too fast, it's nonsensical, it's insane. He doesn't remember that summer they spent together, all he remembers is the week they spent at each other's throats. Less than twenty-four hours of kissing and fucking won't inspire anyone to such devotion.

A whimper forces its way out of Benrey's lips. Why, why would he lie? And how did they not notice this sooner? Or, rather… they did. They knew something was wrong yesterday and they stepped back, just for Gordon to take several steps forward and for them to fold. It's easy when he's being so nice to them, so… so, why?

Benrey places their hands over their ears, too loosely for it to actually have any effect, but it makes them feel better. They don't wanna hear it anymore, not the I love you's, nothing, nothing at all.

"I… I'm… fffuuahhh I'm freaking out. Gotta… 'm… crash, burn… Bandicoot… uhhh." Their breaths grow dangerously shallow, making them even dizzier than they were before. They can feel themself start to grow fuzzy around the edges, drifting away again. It's so much easier when they aren't thinking about it. They wanna go back to the part where they aren't thinking about it anymore.

"Benrey? Babe, what's happening?"

That fuzzy feeling manifests—their form fuzzes like an old VHS recording, before they eventually vanish from existence, just to trip onto the pier several steps away from where Gordon is lying nearby. They glance back at him, briefly, catching nothing in that quick glimpse. "Sorry," they blurt. "Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I—I jus' need—moment. Smoke break. ALONE."

Stumbling to their feet, Benrey adjusts their clothes, fixing their belt as they take several steps forward, quickly finding their stride even if it's strange, uneven, stiff, like a toddler waddling around for the first time. Each step gets faster and faster as they go back down the path to the campgrounds. Halfway there and their eyes start to burn, throat clogging up, and they press their hands over their face to cover up the sound of their cries as their heart starts to break, red and pink bubbling out of their mouth.

They head all the way back to the van, clipping through the doors and collapsing in bed, where they clip out of their boots and curl up on the mattress. They bury their face into the pillows, sobbing loudly and despairingly into the cotton fabric. The only sound they can hear outside their own struggling breaths and keens is the rattling of bones nearby, where the skeleton sits beside them to drape the blanket from the tent over their body.

Chapter Text

The way Benrey vanishes from his arms feels like they're ripping away all the warmth and breath from Gordon's body. The urge to reach out to them falters as they glance back at him, such a look of unfocused panic and despair on their face that Gordon's heart wrenches. Something shatters inside him, body going hot-cold as he registers what's happening.

He messed up. Did something wrong, drove them away. It's happened so much sooner than he expected. Tears well up in his eyes, static flooding his ears. Had he been too rough, did he hurt them? Did he push too far at the end? Or was it the opposite? Benrey wanted cruelty, but Gordon hadn't been able to deliver. Instead, he'd tried to bind them to him, force some kind of bond that would secure his place by their side when that's obviously not what they want. But Gordon doesn't know what they want. How to make them stay.

The fear gripping his heart has him choking and gasping for breath as his sobs threaten to overwhelm him. It feels pathetic, the way he has to pick himself up, tuck himself back into his pants before he's able to sit down gazing out upon the water. His lungs burn, head aching from the stress.

What happens now? Are they going to leave him? Will he die scared and alone out here with no one to protect him or keep him company? His fear shifts to despair, the darkness that had him reach for a gun yesterday seeping into his brain like tar, tugging him deeper into his depths until it surrounds him. Worthless. He's been abandoned by everyone, because he can't be what anyone needs him to be. A good leader, a supportive father, a loving husband. Whatever Benrey expected him to be. A toy? A pet? A fantasy? He doesn't know.

Maybe he should just get it over with. What's out there for him, anyway? Benrey won't tell him where they're going, and it could be anywhere in the world. There's a knife in the duffel bag, he glimpsed it earlier, he could just…

No! He can't think like that so quickly. It's just like he told Benrey, he needs to survive, for Joshua's sake. He's still waiting for him, for his dad. The thought has Gordon finally get up, legs shaking and eyes red from crying. Mechanically, he gathers up the fishing gear, placing it all back inside the bag. With a long sigh, he glances back out on the lake, praying he never has to see this miserable place again.

The walk back to the camping ground feels agonizingly long, his body aching and tired. When he finally arrives, he glimpses the skeleton nearby, exiting the tent with the blanket wrapped up in their arms, a small spark of relief in his chest. If the skeleton is here, that means Benrey is still around, probably in the van given the skeleton's current direction. He gives it a small wave, receiving nothing but a glance in return.

For a moment, he considers going over and knocking on the back door, but dread washes that idea away. What can he even say to Benrey right now? "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted"? "I'm sorry I'm a pathetic clingy little human"? "I'm sorry I'm not what you expected"?

Tears well up in his eyes again, and he hastily turn away, his gaze falling to the remnants of last night's campfire. Benrey seems to have cleaned it up since yesterday, all the trash thrown away with their supplies tucked away inside the tent.

That sounds pretty nice right about now. Cleaning up is always a good distraction, and he needs one to keep his mind from wandering. Heading over to the campfire, he uses the leftover sticks from yesterday to build a new one, hands moving on autopilot. Small sticks first, fire starter in the middle, light it, add bigger sticks, blow on it to make it stronger. This keeps his mind empty, able to focus on nothing but what is right in front of him.

Once the campfire is burning, he sits down on one of the logs, weary gaze following the sparks as they travel into the air. The sight reminds him of a small boy with dark hair who used to catch firebugs on warm summer nights.

- ♡ -

Benrey would love to say they don't know how long they spend lying in bed sobbing their eyes out like the whole world is ending, but they know exactly how long it is. A full hour is a new record for them, as an adult at least. They don't cry much these days, but ever since getting out of Black Mesa they've been exposed to so much horror and heartbreak that they're starting to hate their freedom. The real world is cold and unforgiving and nothing at all like they thought it'd be.

It was easier when they were a security guard. They stood around, protected people from what they considered minor threats, locked and unlocked doors. Wanted for nothing outside their station, just video games, junk food, sex, and drugs. Sit in front of a screen, play game, stuff face, cry alone, sleep for days at a time, like some kind of… depressed teen, even though they were twenty-one when they got the job. Wow. Great life.

Better than this, though.

The loneliness and despair that branches out through their body like thick, gnarled vines has them curling up, sniffling as they let the tears flow down their cheeks. They think about being back there, at Black Mesa. About Tommy, about their favorite games and all the candy he'd bring into work for them.

Then they wonder if life would be different if they knew Gordon back then. They hadn't known he was there until the day they ran into him at the entrance. Maybe they'd tease him, skirt-chase him, invite him to play games with them, or them and Tommy, share snacks and sleepover in each other's dorms and all that good stuff. Then they could hold him as they shared a bed, fuck him in the showers, in the hall closets, at his desk. Kiss him as they pass each other in the hallway, leave little gifts on his desk, snacks and cute notes about what they're thinking and how much they adore him and stuff. The thought of that makes Benrey's chest hurt, the thorns inside them growing sharper.

Lifting their head, Benrey faces the skeleton seated across from them, legs crossed, watching. Nothing about it reads as alive, except for the way it occasionally looks around, or pivots in place. Though its attention is fully on Benrey for now, it seems, aiming its skull at them as Benrey reaches out, grabbing one of its hands and wrapping their fingers around it.

"What did I do wrong?" Benrey quietly asks it, their voice hoarse from sex and an hour of crying. The skeleton, obviously, doesn't respond. "Other than, the, the big… is he gonna hate me forever? We was best friends and he doesn't even care."

Sniffling, they turn to partially bury their face in the pillow. "Why would he LIE to me?" they wail. "I don't even know who he is anymore." The boy they once knew would never treat them like this.

It feels as though everything should just stop, as though they should never move again. Lie still and let the vines grow out of their chest and around their body. Overdramatic. They're really just tired, and they could make that go away pretty easily. Stop lazing around feeling sorry for themself, eat something tasty, turn off their pain receptors. Sing some blue and go walk through the woods looking at birds, maybe take a swim. Enjoy life. As if they know what that even means.

After covering all the immediate items on that list—get up, put on shoes, pain gone, eat everything in their cooler while singing a gentle blue melody to themself—they consider going outside. But. According to their map, Gordon is nearby. So, instead they locate the lake on their map, get those coordinates down, and teleport.

A few seconds later and Benrey's kneeling on sand instead of an old mattress. Looking around, they find the skeleton nearby, washing the now-empty cooler out in the lake. Those peeper puppy eyes had been delicious in a way that had lifted Benrey's spirits considerably, though there's still this deep, aching misery clinging to their very bones.

Standing up, they wander back over to the pier, where they can see deep, thick claw marks in the wood. All their various fluids have gone away as they always do. The fishing rods are gone. Benrey has no idea if Gordon stuck around to actually catch something, but, it doesn't matter. The trip is ruined now, they won't sit here and catch their first fish while Gordon praises them, they won't get their hair braided, they won't get to trade more stories. They ruined it. He probably wasn't even thinking all that shit they've been accusing him of over the past hour, they're just… confused.

Sitting down, Benrey stares down at the still waters for an agonizingly length of time, watching the shadows of fish move about beneath the surface, the reflection of the trees rustling in the wind. Eventually, they shift their form to become something else. A black, tar-like substance covers their entire body in a protective shell, allowing them to change shape without ruining their clothes and hair, becoming like a deep sea mermaid. With their graceful new form, they dive into the water, swimming around until coming across a school of fish. It feels a bit like Skyrim, except they have to actually catch everything with their hands. Or, in this case, their gaping maw, scooping up dozens at a time while enjoying the cool waters, before eventually swimming back up to the surface.

They feel like one of those evolution posters, changing from something fish-like back into a human form, spewing all the fish they'd captured into the now-clean cooler the skeleton holds out for them. Every single fish is dead now, efficiently speared on the ends of Benrey's teeth and sucked dry of all blood. Despite that, they look relatively clean and neat. There's enough to fill a third of the cooler, though a lot of them are quite small.

"Thanks," Benrey mumbles to the skeleton, taking the cooler from it's hands and carrying it themself as they walk back down the dirt path to the campgrounds.

They feel different now, thanks to that swim. What happened earlier is all a blur, and they let it blur further, let the gray creep in until it consumes everything, until all they know is apathy and their own selfish desires. They wanted to fish, they went fishing. They're going to eat the fish raw, and they're going to cook them over a fire as well, because they want to. Gordon can share but they don't want to talk to him right now. Their feelings are too complicated.

Silent and utterly blank, Benrey heads back to the campsite. Towards the edge of the trail, they notice the tent has been taken down, which means Gordon's preparing for them to leave. But as they step out into the clearing, they realize… it's not just the tent. The van is also gone. There's smoke coming off the campfire but no Gordon to tend it.

The cooler falls from Benrey's hands, clattering to the ground where the skeleton promptly picks it back up, but Benrey doesn't care about that anymore, darting forward in search of any signs of life. When they find nothing, their map is their next bet, quickly spotting the orange heart symbol travelling away at a speed too fast and too steady for a human being on foot.

Benrey's breaths come hard and fast, panic and fear and heartbreak and rejection and horrible, horrible loneliness stinging their eyes and clogging their throat and making them so dizzy they sway, catching themself on the log bench nearby. As they curl up panting uncontrollably, their thoughts race.

Gordon left. Gordon left them, he left, he left, he left, he left—WHY? All they needed was some space, not for him to run away! The despair escaping them in a rose red melody shifts to a fiery orange. He left them for, for what? For wanting space, for needing a little cry and a swim and to feel like themself again, he left? Was that all it took? After all the I love you's and the kisses and the sex, talking about wanting to keep them here, that he's theirs and they're his, that was all a fucking lie. Just like they thought.

They wanted to believe they were overreacting, letting their emotions get the better of them in a sexual situation they probably should have put a stop to, or laid down better rules and expectations for beforehand, but the fantasy of being ravished was far too great. They wanted it authentic.

Bringing love and kindness into it had done something really fucked up to their psyche and now, now. Now they see, he was manipulating them all along. Probably thought it was funny, laughing his ass off behind their back, probably thought they deserved getting frozen and locked up, found it so fucking laughable that they'd fall for his shit, letting him take whatever he wanted from them while they babbled about love. Made it too fucking easy for him. Well, never again.

Gordon's exact location is on their map and they can tell he hasn't made it to the highway yet. That makes it easy. A little teleporting and they get there first, the skeleton following suit. Taking a deep breath as they stare along the highway, they turn, glimpsing the skeelton place the cooler down in the dirt, allowing Benrey to sit on top with their legs crossed, head propped up on their hands. The skeleton isn't there once they're situated, and checking their map reveals it's sitting on top of the van, sticking to the roof like glue. They can even see it in the distance, getting closer and closer.

Benrey sits and waits, watching Gordon approach with a cold, detached stare.

- ♡ -

At some point, Gordon must have fallen asleep, as when his eyes blink open again, the sun has moved higher in the sky and the fire has burned low. His body continues to ache, however, possibly even worse after his little log nap, and he's sick with hunger. Though he really doesn't want to confront Benrey yet, all the food is still in the van. Therefore, it's with a deep sigh and anxiety churning in his stomach that he approaches the back of the van, giving it a gentle knock.

"Benrey?" he calls. "Benrey, can I come in? I know you said you wanted to be alone but… we should talk, man."

He's met by nothing but silence, and annoyance breaks through the sorrow and anxiety to take center stage. It's fine for Benrey to take all the time they need, but did they have to do it in a shared space? He knocks a bit harder.

"Benrey! Come on, man." Reaching for the handle, he works at getting the door open. "We don't have to talk, but can you at least—"

The sight of an empty mattress has his words dying on his lips. Frantic, Gordon scrambles into the van, searching the seats in a desperate bid to locate them, but he can't.

They're gone.

Panic hits Gordon, breaths going shallow as a frightened heat shooting through his body like a bullet. They're gone! They just up and left because of whatever he's done, whatever expectation he failed to live up to. Or—Or maybe they just went for a walk. This doesn't have to mean they're gone forever. Come on, Gordon, stay calm.

But then his eyes fall on the empty space where the cooler used to be, and the rational part of his mind goes quiet. Wherever they went, Benrey plans to be gone long enough to need provisions. Gordon's legs buckle, and he falls to his knees on the matress, brain working overtime.

Staying here isn't an option. Without Benrey, he doesn't know if there're any threats nearby, and this place is too open. Even cleared out, there's no telling when a new herd might arrive. He needs to leave, and he has to do it now. If he can get a few hours of driving in, he might make it to Colorado, find a place where he can barricade himself over night, and…

And then what? He never got the safe house's address from Benrey. He'd be travelling with no clear direction or concrete goal. All he has is a vague direction, with all of Benrey's instructions leading them north. So that's where he's going to start. Even with the despair like a dark ichor consuming his soul, he'll keep going. If he ever stops, it's over. Either the aliens will get him or the darkness inside him will. Without Benrey here to distract and protect him, it's all he can do. 

With those thoughts in mind, he works quickly, cramming a few cereal bars down his gullet to get enough strength to pack everything up. As he packs up the tent, the smell inside sends him right back to this morning, when everything had seemed so easy and perfect. Rolling up the sleeping bags is difficult when tears keep welling up in his eyes, knowing one of these is never gonna get used again. They're never gonna get zipped together again. He'll never hold anyone, least of all Benrey, in these ever again.

Right by the inside of the tent flaps, he finds the s'mores ingredients, and nearly starts sobbing at the memory of Benrey's whispered confession in his ear. Had that all been a lie? Or did they just change their mind?

It doesn't matter, the end result is the same.

Finally, he slams the back doors to the van closed, climbing into the driver's seat where he surveys the campsite one final time. His eyes fall on the the trail leading down to the lake and for a few agonising moments he waits and hopes. But the trail remains empty, and so he turns the key in the ignition, flips the van around, and drives off, refusing to give the camp another glance in the rearview mirror.

Unfortunately, driving is just about the worst thing to do when you don't want to have to think. Especially not on such an empty dirt road as this, where there's nothing for Gordon to focus on. Nothing to stop his mind from wandering, thinking back on the turbulent two days he's just had. The fucking, BenreyCoins™, all the manipulation. The moment when he'd been so convinced Benrey would kill him that Gordon had chosen to die by his own hands. The tentative companionship turned into a torrential love affair in a matter of hours.

The sex, fuck, the sex had been beyond anything Gordon had ever imagined, the combination of Benrey's alien features together with their tenderness and possessiveness. It made him believe he meant something to them. That they actually loved him. That he loved them. But all it had taken was for Gordon to fuck one thing up and they had discarded him, thrown him aside like a fucking, used condom. Tears sting his eyes and his grip on the steering wheel turns his knuckles white.

As the van approaches the highway, Gordon spots a figure off in the distance, which at first he mistakes for a zombie. But the form is wrong, the figure appearing to sit on something in the middle of the road. He's only ever seen the zombies shuffle around or sag against buildings. Another survivor, perhaps? That thought sets alight a spark of hope in his chest that turns into dread, hope, and anger as he recognises the blue cooler, the mop of curly back hair, the piercing yellow eyes. 

Benrey.

There is a moment, a fraction of a second where that old darkness emerges, the one that tells him to floor it, hurt and scare Benrey the way they keep hurting and scaring him. But that moment is over in a flash. That's not him anymore. He promised himself, and more importantly, promised Benrey, that he'd never hurt them again.

That doesn't mean Gordon can't still be mad at them. How dare they?! How dare Benrey toy with him like this, leave him alone for hours, make him think they've abandoned him, only to turn up like nothing even happened. It's just like in Black Mesa. Benrey kept running off even when their super powered abilities would have proven indispensible.

It's because they don't care about you. The words hit him like a bolt of lightning. Of course they don't care. Why would they? All they've ever done is take, take whatever they wanted without thought to anyone but themself. For a moment there, Gordon truly believed they'd changed, that it had all been a big misunderstanding. But Benrey knows how fragile humans are, how easily they can break or be killed in this brutal new world. Gordon told them, begged them not to wander off, and look where that got him.

The car screeches to a halt a few feet from where Benrey sits, and Gordon doesn't take even a moment to think before throwing open the door and marching right up to them. As he does, they slowly raise up from the cooler.

"What in the ever loving fuck, Benrey?!" he roars. "What the hell were you thinking, running off like that?! How could you just leave me here to die?!"

Benrey meets Gordon halfway, shoving him back against the hood of the van and immediately boxing him in, claws slamming down on the hood on either side of Gordon's hips. He hadn't expected them to approach him with such aggression, his heart in his throat as he realises that he's trapped. Weapons! Why didn't he bring any weapons?!

There's a cold indifference on Benrey's face and a calm, collected rage in their voice, spoken low, like a threat. "You have a lot of nerve, friend," they say, spitting the word friend like a curse. "Been jerking me around since this started. Think I didn't notice, think you're SO smart. Let Benrey throw themself all over you, 'cuz you can, 'cuz I'll let you, take everything and then just run away when I'm being too much for you, that it? Huh? Hard to pretend you care now isn't it."

Their voice hits him like a slap to the face. He's never heard them like this before. Calm, collected, yet absolutely furious. Fear battles out the anger in Gordon's system, until their words finally register, and the flames of his ire burst back to life. He's been jerking them around? Are they kidding?!

"ME?! All I've been doing is trying to give you what I thought you wanted! But you keep leaving! We have all these good fucking moments, and then you're gone!" He gesticulates harshly, despite the limited amount of space between the two of them. "I don't have a fucking mini map, Benrey! I don't know where you are."

"What, you think you can keep me?" Benrey growls, teeth bared. "Want me in a cage, cute and dolled up like, little dog? Nooooo-uh, don't go to the lake without my permission, Benrey, I'll lose my fucking mind if I don't know your location every waking moment, Benrey! Coulda just gone there and found that out instead of flipping out and running away, leaving ME. My bag is in the car, IDIOT. I like my bag! Got all my clothes in it! Did you even try?"

"I did try!" Gordon lies, the flames of his rage dimming. "I, I really—I thought you…"

"Ohhh, you TRIED," Benrey snaps. There's a nasty look in their eyes, pupils narrowed to thin pinpricks, and Gordon flinches away from them. "Nice try, idiot! All you do is LIE. For what? An easy fuck, that it? 'Cuz I have a map? Cuz I know where your son is? You gonna string me along, then what? Dump me on Tommy? That's real fucking tacky, Freeman."

It's like being punched in the face, although Gordon thinks he'd prefer an actual punch. Because they're right, he didn't bother looking for them, because some part of him wanted them to abandon him. That would make it easier, make everything easier. No longer would he have to struggle to satisfy them, to worry about whether he's good enough, because he'd no longer care what they thought of him. Benrey would be the bad guy in his story again, and Gordon could go on hating them like before. He misses it, misses when his feelings about them were simple. But nothing is simple anymore. Everything with Benrey is either euphoric or terrifying.

"I—I'm sorry. Listen, I should have looked for you, I get that now. I just panicked, man, okay? I acted all irrational and I—I." Gordon takes a deep breath, forcing the words, shameful as they are, out of him. "You're right." Benrey's eyes narrow. "I did want to keep you, but not… not like that. You keep saving me, you made me feel treasured and safe and… like you actually loved me. Like anyone loved me. I tried to tell you what you wanted to hear, be what you wanted, and in exchange you'd protect and guide me. Because—fuck, man, I wouldn't survive a day on my own. I'm broken, Benrey. Black Mesa tore me to pieces and now the world is fucking falling apart. So I made myself your problem."

With a shaking hand, Gordon wipes away some of the tears dripping down his cheeks, dragging it through his hair to get the fallen strands out of his face as he meets Benrey's gaze head on. 

"I never lied to you, though, not about anything," he says. "My feelings might come from a really fucked up place but… they're all real."

- ♡ -

Benrey wants to be mad. They want to be so fucking mad, they want to let the rage overflow and burn them from the inside out. This, this betrayal, the lies, the manipulation. They fell apart in front of him and he used it all just so he could get what he wanted out of them, so he could USE them. They just wanted to be normal, they wanted to trust and love just like a normal person, even if they aren't and never will be normal. And it feels like Gordon just took all that and threw it in their face.

His apologies mean fuck-all. They don't want to hear it, they refuse to hear it, refuse to feel bad for making him cry, refuse to let him jerk them around anymore. Great excuses! Because that's what they are, excuses, lies, things to make him look oh so victimized and pathetic so they'll pick him up and hold him and make it all better.

And they'll stay. Like an idiot, which he must think they are if he's honestly trying to pull this crap right now.

Still. They listen, absorbing every word and running it over in their head. And it's good that they did, that they haven't interrupted to tell him off for his sorry, sad excuses, because what he says next takes them so far off guard that they let out a sharp gasp, inhaling a wavering breath as guilt stabs through them like a lance, twisting their gut into a nauseating mix of emotions. Their eyes flick across his face, pupils expanding, their grip on the metal of the car's hood loosening. Their tense, aggressive posture relaxes.

And then their cold expression twists, brows furrowing in despair, the word loved cutting them straight through to their core. Some deeply lonely part of them that still clings to their infatuation with Gordon floods their chest, stinging their eyes and latching around their throat.

They grit their teeth in a futile attempt to keep from crying as Gordon keeps going, clinging to that rage burning inside them. The past few days, fuck, the past week have shown them that humans are incredibly fragile creatures, so easy to break, and then they're gone forever. At Black Mesa, Gordon was always surrounded by people to watch his back, to show him where to go, never running off as Benrey so often did. The only time he was alone back then was…

Benrey's face turns pale, breaths shallow as they stumble back along the little dirt road. The last time Gordon was alone… Their eyes travel down, finding the scar circling Gordon's right forearm. They turn away from it almost violently, dropping to their knees beside the cooler where they lean their elbows against its surface. Long, thick claws dig into the pale flesh on their face, and they allow it to sting, the pain grounding them, keeping them together. They have to stay together, they're so tired.

How can they possibly respond to Gordon's confession? They want it to be simple, they NEED it to be simple, they can't do this complicated human relationship shit. It's tiring! It hurts! They're sick of it! But they can't be certain of anything anymore. Is it all a lie? More manipulation? How could he possibly love them when they've ruined his life, ruined him?

Rose red sweet voice drifts out of their mouth to express that hurt, their distress, unable to relax enough to form the blue that would soothe them. This helps, but not in the way they want. The self-destructive, get drunk or high and play video games until your problems don't exist anymore, until YOU don't exist anymore, sort of way. They don't know what to do. Can it be easy from here? Or will it keep being like this?

This is, it's too much responsibility. They've never been in charge of anything in their life and now it feels like Gordon's put everything on them, his protection, his sanity, his heart. All they wanted was his love. This was gonna be a fun romp, they were gonna play dress up and game and eat fish and marshmallows and kiss and fuck and—and…

Thinking about that, about Gordon's arms wrapped around them, pulling them close, his lips on their neck as he buried himself deep inside them, their body tingles with warmth and affection and arousal. The yearning eats away at them like a pack of hungry moths, head lowered down onto the cooler, arms wrapped loosely around them. They love him so much. They want to run into his arms just as much as they want to run really far in the opposite direction, and it's impossible to decide on which is better.

"Give me the location to the safe house."

Gordon's words draw them out of their despondent thoughts, raising their head and blinking down at the cooler, where drops of their tears have fallen to stain the plastic lid.

"I'll go away," Gordon continues, voice more tired than they've ever heard it before. "You won't have to be around me anymore. You can teleport to the safehouse, get Tommy, and go see the world together. I think he'd like that. He probably misses you a lot. You deserve it… you deserve to be happy. I'll—I'll do my best to survive and—If I can't make it… tell them I tried."

Those words cut right through to Benrey's core, chilling them from the inside out. He's… giving up? They wrap their arms around themself. Tommy… when they'd laid around sobbing like a child they'd yearned for him, but in the way a child yearns for the loving and protective embrace of their mother. Like they could call him and he'd come pick them up, pet their hair, get them ice cream and tell them it was all going to be okay. Rose red blooms out of their mouth. Tommy would make everything better, make it simple and easy. Take care of everything so they don't have to do anything. They hate doing things, being responsible for things.

But they want Gordon. And the thought that they'd just, leave, leave him to die, or perhaps even worse, greet him again when he gets to the safe house knowing they left him to deal with all that, to fight and struggle alone. What if he was missing something else? An eye? A piece of his ear? An arm? Or, more likely, his sanity? His hopes and dreams? The remnants of life behind his glimmering green eyes?

Exhaling a shaky breath, Benrey presses the balls of their hands to their eyes, gritting their teeth and clenching their fists. No. No more crying. That's enough. They've had enough.

"No," they say, surprising even themself with how clear and hard their voice comes out. Dragging their fingers up through their hair, they compose themself, hardening their expression as they shove to their feet, grabbing the cooler and spinning to face Gordon. He's sitting on the ground, now, back to the van. Behind him, the skeleton has taken up residence in the driver's seat, hands on the steering wheel, unmoving. Benrey heads right on past Gordon's slumped over body, placing the cooler in the back seat where it belongs.

With that done, they head back around to the front of the van, barely glimpsing his despondent expression before lifting Gordon bridal style, a gasp tearing out of him as he throws his arms around their neck for support. Their heart leaps, longing overtaking them, claws twisting around the fabric of his clothes. Taking a deep breath, they carry him to the passenger's side, where the skeleton opens the door to allow them to set Gordon down inside. The driver's seat becomes vacant after that, allowing Benrey to clip into it.

Not a single word is spoken. Instead, Benrey finds the button that locks all the doors and press it, before turning the key in the ignition and starting the car. They're not much better at this, so their driving is a bit nauseating to deal with, but they drive out onto the highway and on towards their destination, keeping their eyes on the road.

- ♡ -

Benrey's no is like a knife to the heart. Gordon had thought that giving them this, giving them their freedom would make them stop hating him, let him find his own way in peace. It would be better that way. Benrey could finally live a life they deserve, unshackled from both Black Mesa and Gordon.

But they won't even give him the directions. They'd rather leave him to wander aimlessly, to struggle and suffer and die. Maybe it's for the best. After all, if he got to the safe house, they'd risk running into each other again. No, it's better for them if he dies out here, better for everyone. He'll wait until they leave and he'll take one of the guns from the trunk, find a place with a view, and…

A strong pair of arms wrapping around him tugs Gordon from his thoughts, a gasp escaping him as he throws his arms around their shoulder by pure instinct. It feels so good to be held again. He buries his head in their shoulder along the short trip to the car, holding back a whine when they put him down. He can't do that anymore. Can't demand that shit from Benrey, not anymore. They've decided to be merciful, decided to let him live despite the hurt he's caused them. They've given him far more than he deserves.

"Thank you." The words are soft, barely a whisper, but it feels as though, if he speaks any louder, he's going to break down.

The silence stretches out between them, but Gordon doesn't know what to fill it with. He's talked too much already, thrown so much at Benrey. They haven't said a word about his explanation, he doesn't even know if they're still mad at him, or what.

So, silent he remains, leaning his head against the cool glass of the window. The world speeds by outside, as Gordon feels his eyelids grow heavy. He's slept so much already, but it's all he ever wants to do, lately. If he's asleep he doesn't have to think, doesn't have to hurt. Before slipping into the darkness, he wonders if death feels like this as well. A black void of nothing where he can rest.

Chapter Text

That little whispered "thank you" has Benrey's claws tightening around the steering wheel, a shaky breath parting their lips. They turn their head, aiming their sweet voice out the window, rose red streaks gliding past as they speed along the highway. They don't know what to say to Gordon, but they've already come to terms with that. They need time, time to think, and… he needs to calm down, they both do. None of this is rational or sane and they need it to slow down, so they can both be adults about this.

Benrey… can't really understand what's got Gordon like this. They don't feel pain, they don't face consequences. Everything they did to him, everything the world threw at him, well, big deal. Before Tommy got them their security job they were getting cut open and injected with chemicals every other day. At some point it all wears down on you so much that you just give up.

But Gordon's a different sort of beast. Maybe it hasn't been long enough, maybe it hasn't been intense enough. He claims to be broken but he doesn't know what that word fucking means. Everything could be so much worse. He—

That train of thought screeches to a halt. What is this, the pain olympics? They can't think about him this way, he's hurting, hurt bad, real bad, in a way they can't sweet voice away, can't even kiss better, can't fuck out of him. This is why, this is EXACTLY why they need to calm down before they talk about this.

As they glance over to the passenger's side, they see Gordon with his head slumped onto his shoulder, fast asleep. He sleeps a lot, doesn't he? That. Well, Benrey can relate. It's so much easier to just, make it all stop, make it all go away for a few hours, wake up feeling different.

They'd like everything to go away right now too, but they can't do that. For one, they're driving, and, well, they feel some sense of responsibility for this situation. They're not about to go placing blame on anybody, it's just, it's all such a fucking mess, but, seeing Gordon like that, watching him shatter and fall apart and finally hit that place where he just doesn't fucking bother anymore—the way he'd curled up against them as they carried him, it hurts. They… they both need some healing.

And that urge to protect is rearing its ugly head again, that urge to wrap themself around him, hold him tightly against them and purr, is so powerful. He's just so fucking pathetic, and it makes them so soft, makes them wanna braid his hair and kiss his head and do everything for him, everything.

Eventually, the highway ends, and Benrey keeps their attention divided between their map and the real world. There's a similar feeling here as to driving in a game, where they can use their position on the map to follow along their path, not really needing to look at the actual road. Except to avoid, you know, abandoned cars and dead bodies and all that.

There's something they're looking for, something other than just the path out of the city. But they were born knowing how to sniff out blood and pheromones and other signs of life, their next meal, their next fuck, whatever their need is. Having never lived a day in the real world, outside that summer on Princess Daisy's farm which really doesn't count, they don't know what to look for. Not to mention, wherever they go has to have a nice place to tuck Gordon away where he won't get hurt while they're searching.

Hours later and they still don't have their answer. They've made it through several cities and smaller towns and Gordon is still peacefully—or so they hope—napping away. Eventually Benrey makes the executive decision to stop somewhere. The waypoint they set that morning is close by, marking their old friends as being maybe only a few hours away. Their priority is on Gordon right now, though.

There's a fairly standard victorian home in front of them. The whole neighborhood is looking a bit sparse as far as zombies go, and Benrey doesn't care enough to investigate the reason why. It just means they have a bit of leeway in picking the house they like the most. This one is painted a deep blue, and there's gardenias growing outside, with a huge willow tree covering most of the front yard. It hides a bit of their van from view as they pull up outside the garage, flicking off the ignition and staring out the window at their choice.

They're about to get out and go investigate when they freeze, turning back to look at Gordon. Guilt shoots through them like a lightning bolt, guilt and anxiety and worry. How can they leave him again, after everything it's put him through? Maybe in the future they'll get this problem under control, but right now, he's still fragile.

Benrey makes eye contact with the skeleton's empty sockets, and it vanishes inside the house, investigating for them. With a soft sigh, Benrey lays their head down, mindful not to end up blaring on the horn, staring, unblinking, over at Gordon.

Watching him sleep has been one of Benrey's hobbies since they first met him, fascinated by the act and how it makes him look, like one of those angel paintings in Princess Daisy's house. A little cherub, with his soft curls haloing his face. Though, that's not really how he looks right now, contorted into sleeping in such a strained and uncomfortable position, all the stress he carries with him apparent in the various creases on his face.

- ♡ -

Gordon is indoors, inside a place he's very familiar with. Aunt Daisy's farmhouse. He's on the upper floor, observing a ray of sun streaming in through his bedroom window, where the air in speckled with little motes of dust shimmering in the golden beams. A clamor downstairs draws his attention. The clinking of cookwares, laughter, and voices travelling up the stairwell.

He journeys down the stairs, knowing exactly where to step to avoid making the old wood creak. Travelling down into the kitchen, he's met with the smiling face of of his Aunt Daisy, her salt and pepper hair pulled up into a messy bun, apron dusty with flour.

But she's not alone. By the kitchen counter, perched in one of the bar stools, sits Benrey, wearing an old NASA hoodie and basketball shorts, their feet stained with mud. There's a glass of lemonade in front of them and a GameBoy Advance held in their hands. It should surprise him that Benrey is here, but instead he only feels joy. Walking up to them and kissing them on the head is the most natural thing in the world to do, just as natural as how they lean into his touch, their fingers playing over the buttons of their game.

"Gordon," calls Daisy. "Would you be a dear and fetch me some rhubarb stalks from the garden?"

His aunt's voice is just as he remembers it, warm but hoarse from years of tobacco use. Every so often she'd send him out to fetch all manner of foods fresh from the garden, having taught him how to harvest everything from carrots to pumpkins to corn.

"Sure thing, Daisy," Gordon responds with a warm smile, which grows even warmer as he gazes down at Benrey's soft, pale face. "Wanna come with, Ben?"

"Huh?" they blurt, raising their head up from their game. "Yo, fetch quest. Gonna get those roomba stalks for the princess." 

Gordon can't help but laugh, and Daisy joins in before shooing them both out of the house. Gordon takes Benrey's hand as they walk out in the garden, his feet bare and the grass sticky with morning dew.

"You ever eaten rhubarb before?" Gordon asks, his thumb rubbing over the back of Benrey's hand.

"Nope." Benrey pops the p, a small smile playing over their lips.

"They're kinda sour to eat raw, but if you dip them in sugar, they're pretty tasty. They're the best in pie though, especially with some vanilla ice cream."

Benrey perks up at that, smile growing wider. "Never had ice cream before, either."

"Oh, it's the best. You're gonna love it."

That joy keeps bubbling up inside of him. He loves showing them new stuff, it always makes them so happy and he likes seeing them happy.

Something feels odd with the garden they're walking through, though. Gordon can't put his finger on it. It's something with the perspective. When they reach the rhubarb plant, it's gigantic, bigger than any rhubarb he's seen since… since he was a kid.

Looking down, he sees a pair of jean shorts, the legs sticking out of them skinny with a bandaid over the knee. Right, because he's a child. Duh, he can't be at Aunt Daisy's farm if he's an adult. Which means Benrey can't be here either, because it wasn't Benrey who was here, it was…

Gordon opens his eyes, and the dream fades. Before him is a two-story house, but it's not the pale yellow of his Aunt Daisy's farmhouse, but a deep blue Victorian home. Behind it, the sun is nearly done setting over the horizon.

To his left, he finds Benrey in the driver's seat, head leaned on the wheel with their glowing gaze fixed on him, lips parted. The warm, affectionate feeling the dream inspired in him continues to linger, prompting him to reach out for them without thought, their eyes growing wide. It's only when his arm has closed half the distance between them that reality catches up to him. Anxiety grips his heart as he yanks his arm back.

Covering the action up with a stretch, he winces at the pain in his neck from having slept leaning against a car window for what feels like hours. "Where are we?" he asks.

Benrey's claws tighten around their arms from where they're folded atop the steering wheel, their eyes drooping from his face down to his waist, where his tshirt rides up to reveal the pudgy skin underneath. "Uh. Safe house, I guess," they mumble, tearing their eyes away to look out the windshield at the home laid out before them.

For a fleeting moment, Gordon thinks Benrey means Tommy's safe house, and his heart bursts with joy and excitement. Only for disappoint to befall him as he realizes how impossible it is that this is the safe house. Benrey had said it would take weeks to reach, and they're still in the south if the surrounding nature is anything to go by. So it's a safehouse then. Better than nothing. Gordon's sick of camping right now anyway.

Without another word, Benrey pulls the keys out of the ignition and shoves them deep inside their pants pocket, sitting up and grabbing the cooler and their leather backpack from the back seat. With those in hand they clip through the side of the van, their boots scuffing against the concrete.

While Benrey wanders off, Gordon retrieves some stuff from the trunk, from his duffel bag full of clothes to the various shopping bags full of their meager food supply. It would be nice if there was still stuff in the kitchen, but he won't count on it. For the most part, he's craving a hot shower, a change of clothes, and lying down on something soft. His back and neck have been subjected to far too many hard surfaces lately. 

There's a path branching off from the driveway which Gordon takes to the front entrance, the door hanging open. On the way in, he makes sure to lock it behind him. No need to take any unnecessary risks.

It's a pretty house, old but well kept. Deep brown flooring, blue floral wallpaper, with a living room off to the right of the entrance. A hallway leads down into the kitchen and dining area on the left with a door leading off somewhere on the right. On the wall in the hallway are pictures of what must be the family that lived here before. Dad, mom, two kids. As cookie cutter American dream as you can get. He hopes they made it out okay, that he won't find their corpses anywhere in the house. If that's the case he'd rather sleep in the car.

Stepping deeper inside, he notices Benrey futzing about in the kitchen, cramming their massive cooler into the freezer before digging through cabinets.

"I'm taking a shower," he calls out to them. "Brought in some food. I'll, uh… leave them on the dining table."

They still haven't talked about anything, and he's not sure how Benrey feels about him. They don't even look up as he speaks, remaining distant, closed off. No teasing, no mocking, not even any anger. It makes Gordon anxious, like he's waiting for the lighting to strike.

He shakes that off for now. They're keeping him alive and they're traveling with him, which is more than he could have asked for. It would be selfish of him to demand more. If this is how they want to spend the rest of their journey together, Gordon will have to respect that. He'll just have to make sure not to fall apart, try and keep useful, stop being such a burden.

Following his basic knowledge of home design, the bathroom with a shower should be upstairs. Though he's barely placed a foot inside the upstairs hallway when the sudden appearance of a skull poking through a closed door scares him half to death, letting out a very undignified shriek and throwing his duffel bag at the intruder. It's only when the skeleton starts humming a series of green bubbles that Gordon recognises it as Benrey's skeleton. 

"Ha, ha! Very fucking funny, man. Fuck, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

Snapping up the bag from where it has fallen to the floor he stomps past the still humming skeleton, shoving open doors on his way until one opens up to a white tiled bathroom. To his satisfaction, there's a bathtub set against one of the walls, one of those old clawfoot versions. Score!

Before the door has even slammed shut, Gordon is chucking off his t-shirt and cranking the tap until he's got hot water filling up the tub and releasing a cloud of steam into the air. Whoever lived here seemed to be a big fan of baths, because there's a good selection of bath salts and bubble soap. Gordon pours both into the water until it's foaming and smelling of all kinds of flowers.

Water sloshes over the edges as he drops into the tub, but he couldn't care less. No, all he cares about is how the warmth of the water seeps into his aching body, numbing the pain and soothing his soul.

He almost feels like a person again, until his eyes land on the pink, blotchy marks dotting his skin. A sharp breath escapes him as arousal, sorrow, and shame mixes together in his gut. Thinking of what went down in that lake, that first taste of what Benrey had to offer, has his cock twitching with interest.

The memory is tainted now, though, mixed with all the shame he feels over what he'd put Benrey through. They'd given him so much, offered him even more, and what had Gordon done to repay them? Turn into some clingy boyfriend who can't give them even a moment alone without freaking the fuck out. He grits his teeth, shaking his head to erase the memory. There's no point in dwelling on the past. It's gone, broken beyond repair. Everything will be better if he just forgets and moves on.

The rest of the bath is spent not thinking about the marks, or Benrey, or anything that's gone down the last couple of days. Instead, he focuses on cleaning himself off, scrubbing until his skin feels raw, his hair receiving the same treatment. Once that's over with, he pilfers the room's supply of body butter, moisturizing properly for the first time in weeks.

From his duffel bag, Gordon picks out a pair of soft green track pants and a long sleeved, cream-colored shirt, covering up the marks on his arms. Some remain visible on both his neck and hands, but he'll just have to ignore that.

After combing his hair and tying it back, he pads out into the hallway again, peering suspiciously at the doors for any surprise skeleton attacks. Luckily, that seems to have been a one time thing. Though, as he stands in the hallway, he suddenly has the oddest sense of deja vu. Dust glittering in the early morning light, sounds from the kitchen downstairs. He doesn't know why it suddenly feels so painfully familiar. It's like trying to grasp onto water, though, and he soon gives up, descending the stairs in search of Benrey.

A savory smell hits him before anything else. The distinct scent of fish wafts out from the kitchen, making his stomach growl and his mouth water. Whatever's cooking is something far better than canned soup, bringing back memories of dishes his mother used to cook for him as a child. Stepping into the kitchen, Gordon finds a tall pot steaming on the stove, but no Benrey. He's about to call out for them when a distant melody reaches his ears.

"Lay your hands on me, one last time," Benrey sings, their voice drawling and moody. "Show me how it ends, it's alright…"

Never before has he heard Benrey sing, not lyrically, at least. The ethereal arias and gentle hums of the sweet voice are commonplace, but what he hears now is an actual song, the words striking him as familiar, somehow.

"Show me how defenseless, you really are…"

As he listens, a memory slowly comes back to him. This tune is an old Breaking Benjamin track Gordon used to listen to pretty often back in the day, when he thought himself edgy and cool. Those days are long gone now, but hearing it again brings back such a melancholic, nostalgic feeling. Everything had been so simple back then, when he thought he knew everything.

Leaning back against the wall nearby, where the song drifts out from a partially open door, Gordon holds still, letting the melody wash over him. Sung like this, in Benrey's low and slightly raspy voice, the lyrics take on a new light, resonating ironically well with their current situation.

"Satisfied and empty inside, but that's alright, let's give this another try…"

If only it was that easy. This situation he's found himself in might be better than the one he proposed earlier that day, but he's still left imprisoned in this cold atmosphere that's settled into the vast space between them. A space he doesn't know how to close anymore, not without threatening his place at Benrey's side, where he's safe.

Somewhere in the chaos of the last few days, there was a moment where everything was… not perfect, but better. A time where the two of them could laugh, talk at length about their lives, and indulge in each other's bodies. Benrey treated him to a softness he hasn't experienced in years. And now that he has, his heart yearns for more, to feel that closeness again. To give it another try.

But he can't ask for that. He doesn't deserve that. All he can do now is lock those feelings away, do his best not be such a burden on Benrey. And when the two of them finally reunite with their loved ones again, he'll wish Benrey safe travels and a happy life together with Tommy. Because that's what Benrey deserves—freedom, happiness. To experience the world with someone who can bring out the best in them. And no matter how much he wants it, that someone is not Gordon.

Standing here, listening to Benrey continue to sing, creates such an ache in Gordon's heart that he fears he might cry again if he doesn't do something. Taking a deep breath, he pushes up off the wall, stepping back inside the kitchen where the soup is still bubbling away on the stove. A quick taste test reveals a surprisingly well-seasoned broth, even if it's a little on the herby side. After consulting the spice rack, he adds some cayenne peppers to give it a bit of a kick before rummaging through the cabinets in search of bowls.

In the process, he makes sure to cause enough noise to announce his presence. This way, he won't have to call upon Benrey directly. Though it wouldn't surprise him if they'd rather not join him for dinner at all, after everything he's done. Who'd want to share a meal with what is essentially their shackle for the coming weeks?

Regardless, he picks out two bowls, two spoons, and fills up two glasses of water from the tap to set the table nearby with. Hope is the last thing that abandons you, after all.

"You stealing that?"

Gordon nearly jumps out of his skin when Benrey appears behind him, a spoon shooting out of his hand and clattering into the sink. They're staring at him with an unimpressed look, their tone as flat as ever.

"God, fucking… N-No! I'm—" Gordon starts, rushing to defend himself as Benrey's eyes flick over his body like they're sizing him up. A strangely shaky breath escapes them, fingers flexing before they avert their eyes, grabbing the pot of soup to carry over to the table. They touch the pot directly, yet it doesn't seem to burn their skin. It's placed down next to the centerpiece, which is a porcelain tray full of fake flowers.

"Didn't say you could have any," Benrey says, as Gordon bristles in response. He tries to shake it off, find his way back to where he could joke around with Benrey, where he could act like a soup thief and they would both laugh. But that doesn't seem to be appropriate anymore. Instead, it feels like something's about to happen, and he's left waiting to find out what it's going to be.

"Sorry, man. I just assumed…"

"Yeah, whatever," Benrey deadpans, their petulant behavior grating on Gordon's nerves. And then he thinks about how, if he wants to keep getting carried through this journey by a being far more powerful than anything Gordon could ever face outside, he needs to be nicer to Benrey. That thought is sobering, a bucket of water to douse the flames of his ire, leaving him feeling drained, his tense shoulders sagging. Benrey's honeyed eyes flick over to him and back multiple times, and when he doesn't say anything, they continue, "Uh, but like, if you asked… MAYBE I could share."

Gordon hates how much he perks up that offer. But that's what it's all about, isn't it? A give-and-take? Being nice to receive kindness in return? Yeah, he can do that. "Benrey, can I please have some of your soup?"

A line of tension that Gordon hadn't even noticed they'd been holding eases out of Benrey's posture. They stare near him for a while, before moving to ladle two bowls of soup in dead silence. It's a very fraught few seconds as they prepare the meals, before finally sitting down at one end of the table with a, "Fine."

Relief has Gordon's body sagging, letting go of a slow sigh before he does his best to slap a smile onto his face. "Thanks, bud," he says, the nickname coming naturally to him as takes a seat. Though, as he lifts his spoon, he can't help but feel like the two of them have become like a soon-to-be-divorced married couple, seated at opposite ends of the table. Benrey won't even raise their head to look at him.

Not that it should matter whether or not they're paying attention to him. It's not like they're anything to each other but a pair of travel companions, stuck together until they reach their destination, wherever that is. He might as well copy what Benrey's doing and focus on his meal.

The soup is very chunky, with a mouthwatering smell. Gordon starts eating before even letting the soup cool, resulting in a burnt roof of his mouth. Though he hardly notices, his eyes go wide the moment the food graces his tongue. It's one of the single tastiest things he's ever eaten.

"Fuck, this is really good," Gordon praises before he can think better of it. "Where did you learn to make this?"

"Uhh… you?" Benrey drawls, staring back at him with wide eyes, like no one's ever paid them a compliment before. "Don't have, uh, magic nail though."

It clicks as Benrey says that, and Gordon is dumbstruck with the realization that Benrey had actually been paying attention to his silly little story back at the campsite. Enough that they'd extrapolated a recipe that ended up pretty damn tasty, for their first attempt at it. Most of the time, it feels like Benrey isn't even paying attention when he speaks. He can't help but wonder how else he's misjudged them. A lot of ways, it seems, and he just keeps continuing to misunderstand.

"You don't need the nail," Gordon is saying, despite knowing full well Benrey is just kidding when they say that.

From across the table, he watches the alien lift a spoonful of soup up to their mouth, slurping loudly. Their eyes light up, chewing slowly, savoring the food as they pull the now-dented spoon back out of their mouth. The piece of metal is tossed aside as they lift the bowl up to their mouth, pouring its contents into their gaping maw. Their mouth splits open wider across their cheeks, allowing them to catch all of it without spilling anything. The bowl is empty by the time they're done, and they lick it clean afterwards, their teal-colored tongue stretching out as they lap up the remaining soup. The look of wonder on their face as they set it down is truly something to behold.

"Bro, I'm a chef," Benrey breathes, speaking with awe in their unexpectedly-soft voice. Gordon hadn't noticed until now, but they're speaking and moving more sluggish than usual, like they're stuck in slow motion. Sitting up on their knees, Benrey grabs the ladle in the soup to pour a generous amount more into their bowl. "Hell's Kitchen, Iron Chef, tha's me…"

Gordon laughs, and it's the best feeling he's had in a while. Benrey's surprise of their own prowess in the kitchen is another of a myriad of little things which makes him more and more endeared to them. Which only makes the distance between them even harder to handle.

"You did really good, man," Gordon says. Benrey smiles around the rim of their bowl, legs gently swinging back and forth. "Maybe you can start a restaurant when all this is over." He isn't sure this will ever be over, but it's nice to act like it will be, some day. "I can show how to make more food… if you want."

It's a small peace offering, an attempt to return to part of the rapport they had before. He has no idea if it'll work. It may very well blow up in his face, making Benrey believe he's trying to manipulate them. The fact of the matter is, he'd love it if Benrey would allow him to teach them more things. Watching them light up as they experience the most mundane things for the first time is something that makes him feel so very soft inside.

A string of green orbs burst forth from Benrey's mouth as they set their bowl down. "Ice cream?" they blurt. "Can you teach iced cream? Cake? Bro can we bake a cake? Oh my god let's make fish pies I got a million little fishies in there."

Gordon can feel the endorphins release in his head at Benrey's excitement, a flood of relief following in its wake. Maybe they don't hate him after all, not if they're this willing to keep allowing him to show them things. It's like a taut thread has been cut in his body, another laugh escaping him.

"I've never made ice cream before, but we can probably find some cook books and shit, wouldn't surprise me if this place has some," Gordon muses. "We'd probably need to loot a grocery store or see if there's anything left in the neighboring houses or something, get eggs and condensed milk, maybe some butter."

One thing Benrey said gives him pause though, his head tilting to the side in confusion. "Wait," Gordon starts, "Was that why you went back to the lake, to catch some fish?"

Guilt churns his stomach. No wonder Benrey's pissed off at him! They'd only gone off to explore, to do something they'd been curious about for god knows how long, and Gordon had reacted by panicking and running away. He buries his face in his hands before dragging them down his cheeks, looking up towards Benrey's tense expression. 

"I really fucked this up, didn't I?"

He watches Benrey inhale deeply, their chest expanding against their My Chemical Romance crewneck. Then, suddenly, they lift up their bowl and down the remainder of their soup, slamming it down on the table and standing very abruptly.

"LET'S WATCH A MOVIE," they exclaim, causing Gordon to jolt. "Halloween! Michael Myers, come onnnnnn."

A tense sigh escapes through Gordon's teeth like a deflating balloon as he watches Benrey scurry off, setting the remainder of the soup in the fridge before stumbling off into the living room. What a way to make things even more awkward between them. Good job, Gordon. Of course they don't wanna talk about that shit right now! Who would?

He's not a big horror movie fan, but right now, he'll take any distraction he can get from all the thoughts crowding his head. Pushing to his feet, he follows Benrey into the living room, where they're kneeled before a shelf by the TV, poking through the DVDs on display. A bunch of DVDs are already on the coffee table, more than they feasibly could've grabbed just now. Have they been planning for this? Well, probably not with him.

Gordon plops himself down on the couch with a satisfied groan. The plush cushions are a welcome rest from all the hard surfaces he's subjected his back to in the past week. His eyes drift closed, and for a moment everything is perfect. His body is warm, well fed and clean, cushioned in the soft embrace of what must be a ridiculously expensive couch.

The sound of the TV has him crack an eye open, watching the DVD main menu pop up for the movie Halloween. He hasn't seen this flick since he was in high school. Back then, the lumbering form of the masked killer had scared the ever loving shit out of him, but he doubts it'll have the same effect on him now. Horror movies kinda lose their power when you're currently living in one. 

"You a fan of horror?" Gordon conversationally asks. So long as he keeps things light and easy like it was earlier, he might stand a chance at getting Benrey to talk to him again. "Which one's your favorite?"

"Uh," Benrey starts, popping their lips in thought. "I used to be obsessed with Ringu. Not The Ring but the subtitles one. But that's cuz, aesthetic. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is pretty fun. I used to have a huge crush on Jason, Friday 13, part two, you know, big huge, BIG BOY, could disembowel me any day you know what I mean. Only got part one here though."

As Benrey goes on and on about the horror movies they like and why, something slots into place in Gordon's mind. Is this why Benrey kept pushing him to get angry? Because they find slasher movie killers attractive? And Gordon kept walking right into it every time.

There might have been a point when this knowledge would've infuriated him, but now it only makes him wheeze with laughter. To think that he'd actually felt bad over being violent with Benrey, when they were probably disappointed Gordon never pulled a knife on them. Suddenly his tentacle fetish and monster fucker inclinations don't feel so weird. Though thinking about that has his body heating up, which is not appropriate for right now. It's only going to end with him being bummed out again.

Before hitting the play button, Benrey stops, looking at Gordon from over their shoulder. "Hold up. You know what would make this SO great," they say, clumsily pushing up off the floor as they speak. "Big, big boy baby over here gonna cry on my shoulder, little boy."

With no further context, Benrey wanders off into the kitchen, leaving Gordon to wonder what they're up to. They've been acting a little off, but that's to be expected after how… tumultuous their day has been. At least they're in a good enough mood to tease him again. He never thought he would miss that, but now, it's a sign of the two of them starting over. This is where it all started, Benrey insulting him and Gordon either laughing or getting mad.

The sound of the fridge opening reaches Gordon's ears, items being pushed around haphazardly before there's a metal scraping sound, and the fridge closes once more. That's when Benrey reappears, carrying a tray of brownies. A few squares are missing, notably one cut out of the very center, which is the most cursed thing Gordon has seen in awhile. Benrey looks around, taking a weirdly long amount of time to spot the coffee table before kneeling beside it. They sloppily brush aside all the movies stacked up on the table's surface, setting the pan down in the space provided.

"Got what you need right here baby bear. So uptight, chill out a little," they mumble, sitting themself back down in front of the TV. "Been lookin' for this stuff, don't know, the PLACE, but I got a PLACE localized entirely within my kitchen. Got some pictures of Spiderman in there. Check it out, friend."

Giving them a curious look, Gordon shifts his attention to the pan of brownies on the table, while Benrey climbs onto the opposite end of the couch, sitting slouched down with a wide stance, remote in their hand. Why they're so excited about brownies is beyond him. It's not like there's been a shortage of chocolate lately, from the s'mores at the campground to all the chocolate bars they'd been surviving on at Black Mesa. Although, homemade brownies are miles better than vending machine chocolate, Gordon can give them that.

Grabbing a square, he takes a big bite, enjoying the fudgy texture. Then, it hits him. Hidden behind the sweetness and bitterness of the chocolate lies a faint funky taste he'd recognise anywhere. You don't go partying at MIT for five years without being intimately familiar with the taste of a weed brownie. 

"Oh my god, Benrey, I can't believe you found the one house on this block with edibles in it. Does this turn up on your mini map as well? Because that is one hell of a power to have."

A toothy grin splits Benrey's face. "Been lookin', told you," they say. Their slow speech and sluggish, clumsy movements suddenly make sense, especially paired with the brownie square cut directly out of the middle. "This is what you need, bro, just chill out, get high with your best friend Benreyyyyyy."

Stretching out their limbs, they press play on the remote, discarding it back on the table where they found it as the movie starts up. A plush, red suede bolster pillow ends up in their arms instead, their slender hands stroking the soft fabric over and over.

Gordon only hums in response, quickly finishing off the square in his hand before reaching out for a second one to munch on while watching the movie. It's been years since he's gotten properly high, child-rearing and a stressful career making it next to impossible to find the right time. Now seems like a pretty good time, though. Weed usually helps to keep his anxiety in check, which he could really use right now to keep him from doing something stupid.

Though it'll take awhile to kick in, just knowing it's coming has Gordon relaxing immensely, sinking deeper into the sofa and stretching out his legs in a mirroring of Benrey's position. The plush cushions feel really good after hours spent folded into a car seat.

Lazily staring at the TV screen, he does his best to follow along with the plot. His brain is still a bit fried, so he finds himself losing focus from time to time, thoughts wandering without touching on anything in particular.

A particularly loud jump scare has him jump in his seat, though, a giggle escaping him after the fact. Ah, seems like the brownies are kicking in. His hands are empty so he must have finished the second square as well although he can't remember doing so. His head feels comfortably fuzzy, like it's packed in cotton, but despite that, it's gotten easier to follow along with the plot.

He'd forgotten how quiet some parts of this movie are. The fractured memories he has of it are so much louder, more violent. Sure, there are parts like that as well, but the looming figure of Myers at the end of a street or corridor still sends chills down his spine.

As the movie continues, Gordon finds himself pulled into the plot, following along with bated breath as he tries to remember what's going to happen next. When the big confrontation in the house starts, he's literally on the edge of his seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, a pillow clutched in his hands. Despite knowing it's gonna happen, he still jumps when Myers turns up again after Laurie stabs him. Another giggle escapes him as the adrenaline kicks up a notch only, to be dragged back down thanks to the brownies.

The next jump scare gets him as well, actually causing him to jump in place. His hand instinctively reaches out to grab something, anything at all, and his fingers close around something that is distinctly not a pillow. Vaguely in the back of his head he realizes that he's currently clutching Benrey's hand, but, somehow, that doesn't seem like a problem. It's a scary movie, and if he wants to hold someone's hand during it, he's gonna do it. Benrey will have to deal, or pull away. God, Gordon hopes they won't pull away.

- ♡ -

Horror has never done much to actually spook Benrey. Maybe it's the not being human thing, no fear of death, not feeling pain, that sort of thing. Jumpscares have an effect if they've never seen it, but even then they have a disturbing tendency not to react. This movie is one they've seen a million times before, though, such that they could easily call out each line before it happens.

None of that is the appeal, anyway. There's just something satisfying about it, something bizarre and unhinged and disturbing that tickles a part of their brain they don't have a name for. A frenzy of violence, a game played between the protagonists and the killer, cat and mouse, predator and prey—oh, and the humans are usually super fucking dumb, which is hilarious.

There's something else about it, too. When the protagonists are pushed to their limits, drenched with blood and limping along, trembling with fear—it's just so vulnerable, so genuine, so primal. Benrey would be lying if they said they didn't get a kick out of this, from both sides of the coin; of course, it's easy for them to stalk someone and do whatever they want once they catch them. Their biology is designed for it, to hunt and eat and fuck like a base creature.

But there's also the prospect of being hunted. Which isn't a concept they get to consider very often, not when the illusion so easily shatters over the obvious power imbalance between them and everyone else. The added element of danger, of feeling like you could be torn apart but trusting that your partner would never do that to you, that's something they'd like to know.

Instead, it'd be more like these movies—they'd run clumsily along, trip and break their heel, flee from perfectly good hiding places and be real fucking loud about it, so their pursuer doesn't end up losing their trail. A real, ohhh, nooooo, you caught me, whatever will I do… as they present themself like a bitch in heat. Not really the same.

Well, horror movies, slasher films to be specific, aren't just something they watch because it turns them on sometimes. They can't really explain the appeal for most of it, but they can't explain most things in general. They like them because they just do. Gordon seems like he's having more of a time than they are, every jolt and giggle putting a giddy feeling in Benrey's chest that makes watching a big scary man kill a bunch of humans hit a bit different. He's invested, and that makes them really happy. Maybe he'll enjoy Friday the 13th after this?

That train of thought gets violently derailed as Gordon's hand shoots out to clutch onto theirs. A sharp breath escapes through their nose as their shoulders tense, a tingle travelling up the nape of their neck. Benrey… doesn't know how to feel about this. The situation is complicated—too complicated for them to handle right now. Everything is a surreal haze, and all they want is for someone to hold them, to touch them tenderly and kiss their lips like they mean something, like they're worth it. All it takes is one, singular touch to bring them to that place.

Thinking about this… no, they don't want to. Instead, their thumb brushes over the sucker marks on the back of Gordon's hand, fingers intertwining with his. The glide of his soft skin against theirs sends a brief surge of adrenaline through them, anticipation for something they can't manage to think about, their thoughts slipping away like so many grains of sand.

Focusing on the movie at this point is impossible. All they know is Gordon's hand wrapped around theirs and how fuzzy it makes them feel. His hand shifts, index finger stroking over the tender skin of their inner wrist a ticklish, tingly feeling travelling up their arm. It's hard to remember why this was ever a bad thing. They crave Gordon's touch and attention more than anything, even though… even though he hurt them.

Soon, the movie is over, though Benrey hasn't even noticed. How can they, when he keeps rubbing their wrist like that? The credits rolling by in front of them are a monochromatic blur, attention zeroed in on the feel of his hand around theirs, until they hear his voice.

"That was pretty good," Gordon says, his words slow and slightly slurred. Hooded yellow eyes drift slowly towards his mouth, more focused on the memory of how they taste and feel pressed up against theirs than the words coming out of them. "I forgot how scary some of it is. You have a crush on Myers too, or is that only for big guys with chainsaws?"

"Huh?" Benrey drawls, going over the chatlogs to figure out what he just said to them, thoughts slower than normal as they try to come up with an answer. "Yeah… I mean, you know. Big dude. Got the mask, all anonymous and shit. Just lookin'a get pinned down by… feel helpless and small. You know? That's the stuff."

Their thoughts slow to a crawl, and they drag their eyes away, spotting the pan still laying out on the coffee table. Distantly they remember there was a reason why they wanted these, wanted to get Gordon high for awhile. So he can relax for once, yeah, but also…

Their gaze travels back down to their hands. There's this deep sense of longing that's eating away at them, this pain, the desire to turn this simple act of affection into something blazing and intense. But that won't get them anywhere productive.

As Gordon leans closer, Benrey reluctantly eases their hand out of his grasp, playing it cool by using the same hand to adjust their hood to sit correctly. They don't look at him, watching the credits roll instead. "Think we should… have a chat, friend," they say.

- ♡ -

Even through the haze the weed has put his mind in, Benrey's rejection still stings. It seems he might have misread the situation, got too swept up in the tenderness of it all. Curling back into his corner of the couch, Gordon grabs a pillow, hugging it to his chest like it will soothe some of the heat still burning in his chest.

Benrey is right, though, they do need to talk. That's the problem, right, that they never just talk. It's either dramatic confessions, fucking, or fighting. And there is a lot for them to talk about, like where they're going, what it is Benrey wants from him, and what Gordon can expect from them. Basic stuff, stuff they really should have hashed out before Gordon let them stuff him full of tentacles. If that's even what Benrey wants to talk about. They didn't seem too keen to discuss that stuff before the movie.

Only one way to find out.

Drawing his feet up onto the couch cushions, he angles his body so to rest back against the armrest, leaving him turned fully towards Benrey. "Sure, bud. What's on your mind?" he asks, trying his best to be casual about this.

"Uh," Benrey starts, looking around the room like it contains the answer to Gordon's question. Pulling their legs up onto the couch, they curl up against the armrest in a mirroring of Gordon's position, legs pulled close to their body.

The pillow in their grasp is clutched tightly against their body, their slender hands stroking the smooth suede fabric with a clear fixation on the texture. Their cheek squishes against it, slowly rubbing their face on it. It's probably not normal to be jealous of a throw pillow, but that doesn't stop Gordon from glaring daggers at it. That could have been him if he hadn't gone and fucked everything up. Now Benrey would rather cuddle with a pillow than with him.

Worse is that they aren't saying anything, despite it being their idea to talk. Not that Gordon minds much. Despite being high, he's still afraid of what they might say. It was a mistake, I changed my mind, I want a divorce. Okay, that last bit doesn't belong there, that one stems from a few years back. It's a big part of his fear though, the fear of being abandoned. After enough times of it happening, you start to wonder if maybe you just aren't good enough to be close to people.

And Benrey has every reason to leave Gordon. Not just because of his latest fuck up, but because of everything that's gone down between them. The fact they're still here, sitting beside him, cooking for him, getting high with him, it's nothing short of a miracle. Gordon can't quite wrap his head around it.

By the time Benrey speaks up, Gordon's eyes have drifted off to watch the DvD menu screen, before quickly snapping back to them.

"I don't want you to leave," Benrey says. Though their voice is slow and mumbling, there's a hint of despondency that breaks Gordon's heart and fills him with guilt. "Nice havin' you around… you're jus', you make me… weird. Can't think, feelin' every emotion at once. Gotta be away to think good. An'… you, you really hurt my feelings, bro. You was… all nice and it… you was bein' mean and then nice and it wasn't… that's not how peoples be, that's not how you be, and I thought, Gordon isn't real… nuthin's real. I'm just bein' dummy again."

"Benrey…" Gordon starts, leaning forward, prepared to reassure them that they're wrong, that it was all very real, but his reaction times are delayed, and Benrey interrupts him before he can get the words out.

"You tried to kill yourself yesterday," Benrey says, voice growing hard to really emphasize the severity of their words. As they speak, their words have him slumping back against the armrest with a grimace. "'Cuz'a me. And now you love me, makes no sense. You hate me, hate Benrey, never been friends this week, want me gone. You want you gone if it means no more Benrey. 'm bad, I'm everythin' that's bad and I'm ruinin' you, that's what you said."

"Benrey, no," Gordon interjects, before their ramble can spiral downwards any further. "I—I don't want you to leave. Not—I did… before, but not anymore. Without you I—I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you. I don't hate you, either, you don't ruin everything."

"Yeah, right," Benrey grumbles, claws tightening around the pillow in their grasp. "Gordon Liarman didn't wan' me to leave, jus' wanted to leave me instead… be a big meanie, run away, rain all over my heart… messed up, man."

Their response cuts Gordon like a knife. It's true, he had tried to leave. But he hadn't tried to leave Benrey. Rather, he was running from the heartbreak them leaving him would have caused. 

"No, I—I didn't run from you," he admits, eyes downcast as he can't bear to see the hurt in their eyes. "Man, I thought you left, and it freaked me the fuck out, because… I didn't know what to do without you."

The sound of Benrey blowing the world's laziest raspberry reaches Gordon's ears. "You're so bunk, man. Just tellin' me whatever. You said it, was you who said, you said, tellin' me what I wanna hear, cuz you… you wanna, wanna use Benrey like… like uh… GPS. With gun dlc. You know I'm gonna 'cuz 'm stupid and I like you. Believe anything just 'cuz… just really really good when you do the… the kiss on me… bribed. Honeypot… ant. Tha's you. Seducin' me for… whatever."

There's a part of Gordon, a frighteningly familiar part, that wants to get mad at Benrey for refusing to listen to what he's saying. Why can't they just accept that he might actually like them? But that isn't fair. It's like they said, only yesterday, he put a gun to his head and told them it was their fault. But things are different now. He's different now. He just needs to find the right words to make them believe him.

"I—Listen, Benrey. I'm not… I get so emotional, so fast, I always have. It's gotten me into a lot of shit, and you… you're really good at bringing out the worst of it. This past week alone, you've made me so fucking mad more times than I can count, but you've also made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. And then you betrayed me, and I hated you more than I've ever hated anyone in my life. That's how I ended up there… with the gun in my hand."

Clutching the pillow tighter, Gordon pauses to take a deep breath. Across from him, Benrey watches him closely, brows furrowed with their glowing, golden eyes flicking over his face. He only hopes that they're listening, truly listening this time.

"The problem is… the problem is that I didn't get it, okay? I couldn't understand you. But now I… I might not know what you've been through, but I, I'm a smart guy, okay? I went to MIT, I can pick up on context clues, man. Black Mesa tortured you all your life, and it, it messed you up, I get that now."

"Do you?" Benrey snaps, claws clutching so tightly to their pillow that it threatens to tear the fabric, as they avert their gaze, glaring at the backrest. The heat in their voice has Gordon bristling, frustration brewing in his core, yet when Benrey continues to speak, that heat quickly dissipates. "Always… jus' wan'… wanna… hol'you an' laugh… mess around, kiss, play game, frolic in a field. Put a flower on your big gay head. An'—I love you…" Their voice floods with emotion as they say that. "Make me feel so good… 'm jus' scared, man, you gotta like me, I can't take it when you don't like me…"

The words fly out of Gordon's mouth now, words built up during Benrey's confession.

"I want that too! I want to do all of that. Hug and kiss and fucking, frolic. It—That's what I'm trying to say. I get that I was wrong about you, everything was so fucking wrong. Once I figured that out, I felt so shitty for how I treated you, and… I wanted to make it up to you. I wanted to be your friend. And then… things escalated. You gave me something I thought I'd never feel again. Peace and safety and, and… love and hate are different sides of the same coin, right? Somewhere along the line it, it flipped. It started at the lake, and then—When I woke up and you weren't there, I think I realized then and there what I was about to lose and… and how that made me feel."

"Yeah?" Benrey says, their voice so soft and small that it hardly feels like it belongs to them. Except for how vulnerable they look, curled up on the couch hugging a pillow like they'll fall apart otherwise. "How it feel? Huh? Bad? It feel real bad?"

The point they're trying to make is not lost on Gordon, the parallel to how he'd made Benrey feel when he hightailed out of there, van and all. Guilt makes him curl tighter around himself, mimicking Benrey by squeezing his own pillow.

"Felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was pushed into a void and spiraling out of control. I shouldn't have left, Benrey. I should have trusted you. But I was afraid, afraid that you'd left me, afraid of my own feelings, afraid that—that I'd fuck up again. That if you hadn't left by then, it would only be a matter of time before you did. It's a shitty explanation," Gordon says as he sees the glare on Benrey's face. "Leaving because I'm afraid you're gonna leave, it doesn't make sense, I know, but—my brain doesn't make much sense. This," he gestures between them, "Doesn't make sense either, but… I love you anyway. I love you, Benrey."

How Benrey feels about anything he's just said is hard to tell. Nothing in their expression changes, and they end up sagging even lower on the couch, everything but one eye buried into their pillow. Most of them is hidden behind their legs, curling up into a tight little ball on their end of the couch.

It's worrying. Gordon isn't sure if anything he's said has reached them, or if they still don't believe him. And if they don't believe him still… well, so long as they're willing to keep him around, he'll just have to get used to no longer having their attention. Just because they love him doesn't mean they want to be with him anymore.

But before Gordon's darker thoughts can get too carried away, Benrey sits up, slowly shifting onto their knees without the use of their arms and crawling over to sit right in front of him. Another pair of arms sprout from along their sides, pushing Gordon's knees apart so they can fit in between his legs. Lowering the pillow just enough to unveil both their eyes—plus about a dozen more—they lean in, close enough for Gordon to see the texture of their eyes. Their soft black hair falls forward, forming a curtain around them that blocks out everything else. Everything but them.

"How much?" they ask.

Some primal part of Gordon's brain urges him to run, intimidated by the danger lurking within the creature before him. Behind that pillow lies a set of teeth sharp enough to rip out his throat like it's made of butter, the claws digging into their pillow equally as deadly. That isn't even taking into consideration what their sweet voice could do to him. Benrey is the perfect predator, and Gordon is nothing but their prey.

But that part of him isn't the voice that speaks the loudest. It may be the part of him that causes his heart rate to pick up, cheeks flashing with heat upon seeing such a deadly predator in such close proximity, but it pales in comparison to the instinct driving him to push that fear aside, to drown in Benrey's eyes, take them into his arms, and never let them go.

"I—" Gordon hesitates for a moment, before reaching out to cup the side of Benrey's face left unhidden by the pillow. "You make me want to live, Benrey. When I'm with you, the world doesn't feel so hopeless anymore."

Those golden eyes flick over his face, searching, but for what, he doesn't know. It could be the right spot for them to sink their teeth into him for all he knows. Then, those eyes avert, staring, downcast, at the back of the couch. Their head simultaneously dips lower towards the pillow, while also pressing closer into Gordon's hand.

"Course it does," they say, barely audible through the pillow. "'Cuz I'm big an' strong an' mean, right? That's why you like me?"

"You're not mean," Gordon quickly protests, hand traveling up to slip into their hair as their eyes flick back towards him. The strands are silky smooth, taking him by surprise, considering they've just been bathing in lake water. "You're actually really sweet. And really funny. You make me laugh like no one else, even in Black Mesa. And—And you're cute, too," he continues, emboldened by the way they're leaning into his touch, their face turning a deeper shade of blue. "And brave, and yes, you are big and strong, too, but that's not—I like you because you are you. I like—I love all of you, Benrey."

Those golden eyes of theirs turn hopelessly soft and fond as he speaks, their head leaning more and more into his touch, melting against him. At the same time, the blush dusting across their cheeks spreads to their ears, eyes dilating to dark, black pools. To say they're beautiful would be an understatement.

Slowly, they lower the pillow to unveil their lips, parted slightly to reveal a hint of sharp, razorlike teeth. As they lean forward, Gordon's breath catches, fixated on the line of their lips as they edge ever-closer, until they're close enough for their nose to press into Gordon's cheek. Here, at the corner of his mouth, they press a kiss, slow and tender, moving farther along his cheek until they reach his neck, where they burrow their face against his fluttering pulse. Shifting their legs, they rest sideways in his lap, scooting closer in a way that reminds Gordon of a nesting cat until they're settled against him, their weight a comfortable pressure against his body.

"Hold me," Benrey says, and Gordon doesn't hesitate, wrapping them up in his arms with haste until his fingers are threaded into their hair, cupping the back of their head, and his arm is wrapped around their back, keeping them held close. They burrow even closer to him, and he squeezes them tighter in response. It feels right, feels like exactly where Benrey should be, and where they should have been all along.

- ♡ -

As Gordon places a kiss to the top of Benrey's head, a stream of pink and blue bubbles flow from their mouth, lighting up the two of them in gentle pastels. Plush lips wander down to their temple, grazing featherlight over the tip of their ear, across their jaw. Gently, he lays a kiss to their cheek, swiftly replacing his mouth with his hand to cup their face against his palm, where he brushes his thumb across their cheekbone. 

"I'm going to try and be better, okay?" he promises, speaking softly to suit the delicate atmosphere. "I won't run away again. I'll stay and argue with you instead, like a proper boyfriend should."

There's hardly any time to think fondly on Gordon's words, to laugh at the promise of arguments and how comforting it is to hear. Instead, Benrey hears the b-word come out of him and the blood rushes to their face, burning a deep blue-violet hue as their sweet voice shifts from a surprised teal, to a warm pink.

"You said it!" Benrey exclaims, awestruck, as they fill the air with incredulous and noisy laughter. The pillow is tossed aside, allowing Benrey to throw their arms around Gordon in a display of overwhelming joy, claws pricking little holes in the back of his shirt. Burying their face in his chest, they inhale deeply, catching hints of Gordon's natural scent. "Boyed, friend! Tha's me! You said it! You said it and now it's sealed! Ball and chain, stuck with me! Idiot! Never gettin' ridda me, hehahhehaheh—!"

Getting pulled back so Gordon's lips can crash over theirs takes them by surprise, a small noise sounding in the back of their throat. Sucking in a breath through their nose, their mind scrambles to discard everything that came before to focus fully on the feel of Gordon's lips moving against theirs, of tasting him, of running their hands through his hair and over his neck. A soft whine is muffled against his lips as he pulls them closer, where they can feel the hot press of his body against theirs, his hands drawing up under their crewneck. It's perfect, like they were made to fit together as one.

Benrey sighs against Gordon's lips, claws wrapping possessively tight around strands of his hair, quickly finding the tie and cutting it free, allowing his hair to flow freely. A tongue slips past their lips and Benrey moans, pushing their hips against him where their dick strains against the loose fabric of their joggers, pressing insistently into his waist and coaxing a gasp out of him. The weed can't be blamed for how quickly their body responded, this is just how Gordon makes them feel.

"Holy fuck," Gordon gasps, awestruck, breathless, and dripping with arousal. His hand slides around from Benrey's back to their front, slipping between their bodies to palm at the bulge in their pants, stroking up, and up, and up. A shudder wracks Benrey's body, letting out a deep, sensual moan as they push their hips into his hand.

Though they hardly want to give him the space to speak, to breathe, they know he has to, and after a misplaced kiss to the corner of his mouth, this fact settles into their hazy mind properly. They can't stop, though, they need him, all of him, right the fuck now, their lips trailing across his hairy jaw down to his neck, nibbling and sucking at his skin as their hips greedily rut into his hand, sending tingles of pleasure up their spine.

"Benrey, I—ahhh—" Gordon moans, tipping his head back to give them more room to work. "I-I want to… need to… let me do something for you. Anything—Hahh—Please."

"Wan' you," they breathe into his skin. "Spread out beneath me," they say right by his ear, pressing a slow kiss over the shell. "Takin' my cock, real deal. Showin' me how much you wan' it, wan' me, gonna, gonna pound you so hard you won't walk tomorrow without my help. Wanna hear you whine—Tell me. Tell me you wan' it."

"Oh, god," Gordon groans, "Yeah, I do. Fuck. Wanna see you… fuck, I wanna taste you."

His breathless curse has a toothy grin tugging at Benrey's lips, their breaths growing shallow. "Yeah?" they breathe, their hot breaths ghosting over his skin. "Bet you do, gaggin' for it."

They're laughing, a dark little chuckle as they allow Gordon to fondle them, to tug at their clothes, more than pleased by his whines and pleas that go right to their dick. This is exactly what they wanted, what they always wanted, someone who wanted them so badly that they'd go to any length to get them. Not just someone, though—Gordon. It was always Gordon. The man of their dreams, their one beacon of hope. The only goodness in their life. Their love, their beloved.

Nipping at Gordon's neck one final time, Benrey pulls away. Ignoring the cute, puppy whine Gordon makes at the loss of contact, they get to their feet, lifting him up off the couch bridal style as he lets out a yelp of surprise. They kiss his face once before starting up the stairs.

Chapter Text

The door to the master bedroom hangs wide open, and Benrey shoulders right past it, bringing them into a modestly sized room. Pushed up against the opposite wall is a large bed, featuring a huge blue quilt and more pillows than any bed really needs. Though Gordon doesn't see any of it, too busy sucking and biting marks into Benrey's neck nearly to the point of breaking skin. He knows, now, that they like it rough, so there's no point in being gentle.

He only stops when Benrey deposits him onto the center of the bed and steps out of kissing distance. A displeased noise sounds in the back of his throat, though as he raises up on his elbows to check what they're doing, he's met with the sight of Benrey's body, now stripped down to nothing but pentagram-patterned briefs and striped socks.

They really are stunning, with a strong body and skin so pale it looks absolutely radiant in the soft light of the moon through the curtains. Gordon's eyes are drawn to the trail of fine, dark hair trailing down into their briefs, where their impressive bulge tents the fabric of their briefs. A new sound works it's way out of his throat now, keening and desperate. He's never wanted to handle a cock so badly in his life.

As Benrey climbs back into bed with him, they grab several pillows, cushioning Gordon's neck and shoulders while setting a third pillow aside. His hands fall upon their hips, a smirk tugging at their lips as they work. Once they're done, they scoot forward to sit astride his chest. It takes a lot of willpower not to lean forward and press his face against their bulge, but somehow, Gordon manages.

Dipping their hands under the waistband of their briefs, Benrey pushes the fabric down around their hips, freeing their long, thick cock. It's larger than anything Gordon's ever taken by far, bigger, even, than some of the dildos he's played with. It curves beautifully upwards, the color fading from Benrey's usual pale grey to a dark black at the tip.

They take it in hand, slowly stroking it as their other hand runs through Gordon's hair to cup the back of his head. "This what you want?" they taunt, their words pulling him out of his reverie. Tapping the head against Gordon's mouth, Benrey runs it along his lips, a shuddering breath forcing them to open up for them. "Love you so much, I'll let you have it."

Looking up at Benrey through his lashes, Gordon shudders both at their words and their touch. They love him, they love him and Gordon wants nothing more than to show them how much he loves them in return.

It's for this reason that he leans forward to kiss Benrey's tip before dragging his tongue up their length, all the way from base to the tip, a soft breath bordering on a moan escaping them. He seals his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue around it. The taste is familiar, same salty sweetness that clings to their skin, combined with the artificial flavour of their precum. It's just as addictive as when he had one of their tentacles in his mouth, and Gordon moans, low and dirty, as their hands slide into his hair and their cock pushes past his lips.

"Fffffuck," they groan, gently rocking their hips forward. "Tha's real good—good boy, knew you'd be, ahhahh good at sucking cock, look like the—hhhnn—type—"

Benrey's words washes over him, caressing him, enveloping him. Gordon can do nothing but agree and obey. They're right, he is good at sucking and he wants nothing more than to show Benrey just how good he is. Although they seem to have a good handle on the situation themselves, rocking gently inside his mouth and rubbing the tip of their cock against his tongue, using him.

Gordon moans and whimpers around their dick, drool running down his cheeks and into his beard. It's sloppy, the sounds coming from his mouth wet and slurping. It's hard to feel embarrassed, though, weed and sub space putting a warm blanket of contentment over everything, wrapping him up in the feeling of Benrey's cock in his mouth and their words in his ears.

"Ahhh—feels so good, Gordon—" As they press deeper inside his mouth, they reach for his hands, lifting them up to set them against their hips. "T-Touch me…" Obediently, Gordon gently rubs the sensitive skin of their inner thighs, feeling the way they quiver in response, legs pressing tighter around his head. "Only—Only person allowed to—hnnnhh—touch you is me, got it?"

Only Benrey can touch him, no one else, not even himself. Gordon likes the sound of that. Only the master gets to touch their pet, all he has to do is to be warm, wet, and good for them.

Their tight grip on his hair tugs, tilting his head to allow them to angle their cock differently, and he can feel their tip rubbing against the inside of his cheek. "Ohhh fuck, fuck," Benrey moans, little orbs of rusty orange sweet voice drifting out of their mouth to light up the room around them. "You're so beautiful, I cahhhnnn—Ahhh—Ohhhh fuck…" A really pretty sound comes out of them as Gordon swirls his tongue against a spot right below the head that he's noticed makes their hips stutter.

And Benrey keeps praising him, their words pulling him deeper and deeper until they're all that exists in Gordon's world. He's Benrey's good boy, and he wants them to know how happy that makes him. Gazing up at them through his lashes, he watches their deeply flushed face, their dark eyes clouded over with lust, and their sharp smile, sweet voice dripping down their lip. They're so beautiful, ethereal and alien in a way that makes his heart skip a beat.

"So fuckin' pretty—Hahhh… So pretty, perfect for me," they purr, arching their back and trailing a hand up their body to rub at a hard blue nipple. "Uhhh—hahhnn… Fuck, I'm gonna… I'm gonna cum—Gordon…!"

The taste that fills Gordon's mouth is familiar by now, the same blue raspberry flavor he'd tasted yesterday, only now without the addition of lakewater. His eyes involuntarily flutter shut as he tries to drink it all down, though some still spills out from between his lips, mingling with the drool and tears already in his beard. Not that Gordon minds. He's too busy using his tongue to keep working the shaft, milking every ounce he can out of Benrey as their thighs quiver and tighten around his head, hips moving in short little jerks.

"Ahhh… fuckin', incredible… Gordon, my Gordon, mine," Benrey breathes, whining as they shift to stuff their cock in as far as it'll go, and keep it there, their thumbs rubbing against Gordon's cheekbones. Though they've still shaking with the aftershocks of their orgasm, they seem unwilling to let him go, not even when their cock lays soft against Gordon's tongue. "Gonna give you what you want, just wait… everything you want…"

A thrill shoots down Gordon's spine at those words, his stomach churning in anticipation for what's to come. And Benrey keeps him there, using him to warm them cock until their breathing starts to even out. Their grip on Gordon's head relaxes some, claws raking through his hair. If Gordon felt like it, he could pull away. But there's something so peaceful about simply lying here, filled by Benrey's cock as they gaze down at him with eyes so loving that it almost makes him want to cry.

The only thing that stops him from fully relaxing is his own erection, achingly hard and leaking where it lies trapped inside his briefs. With Benrey sat on his chest, it's impossible for him to move his arms in order to touch himself, but that's hardly an issue. The haze of subspace has pulled him deep into its depths, such that being a warm, wet hole for Benrey is really he all needs. Everything else is merely a bonus.

Though Benrey seems to be of a different opinion. "Raise your hips, baby girl," they instruct. "Gonna love it, prommy." An unseen pair of hands wrap around Gordon's waistband, getting his pants off the rest of the way to carelessly toss them aside. That's when Benrey reaches for the other pillow, pushing it under Gordon's hips to cushion his lower back.

More hands find their way to Gordon's thighs, ignoring his cock completely in favor of spreading his legs to dip between his thighs towards his hole. Inexplicably, their fingers are coated in slick as they start to massage the tender ring of muscle. Gordon doesn't have the mental capacity to wonder where Benrey got lube from, and he doesn't care, either. All he cares about is spreading his legs wide open to give them room to work.

It's been such a long time since he's been touched like this by anyone but himself. The combination of Benrey's cock swelling inside his mouth and their careful stretching has Gordon whimpering and writhing with pleasure. His own cock is leaking a pool of precum on his stomach, and in a way, he's glad Benrey's left it alone. Even a single stroke would be enough to push him over, and he doesn't want this to end just yet. He wants to be kept on the knife's edge of pleasure until he falls apart completely, breaks into pieces for Benrey to put together however they like.

His eyes flutter open again, and he looks up at the figure above him with pure adoration. Benrey is a vision like this, flushed a deep blue, hair standing like a dark gloria around their head as their eyes shine bright as stars. So many feelings bloom in his chest at once, love, devotion, satisfaction, and pride. They look like this because of him, debauched and mindlessly seeking pleasure from his body, because he's done good, because he's making them feel good. The thought is enough for his body to twitch in pleasure, cock jumping and ass clenching around their fingers.

Goosebumps bloom all over his skin, and for a moment, Gordon thinks he's going to cum untouched. He takes a deep breath, keeping his orgasm just out of reach. Not yet, he won't cum until Benrey tells him to. Until then he's merely an instrument for Benrey's pleasure, their pretty little toy to play with as they please.

- ♡ -

Once Gordon's sufficiently stretched, Benrey pulls their fingers out, allowing their extra arms to rescind into their body. Easing their cock out of his mouth, they chuckle to themself at the way Gordon looks right now. If only they had a camera, or, better yet, a mirror.

"Look reeeeeaaaal fucked up right now, Gordo," Benrey teases. Reaching up, they smear his drool across his cheek, chuckling cruelly. "Messy little boy, ain'tcha?" Three fingers get stuffed inside his mouth, the pads rubbing against his tongue. "Wanna get you soooo messed up, Gordon. Get my cum dripping down those nerd glasses, look real pretty in blue…"

It's fun, teasing Gordon like this. Once upon a time they only did it to get a rise out of him, to make him angry in hopes his anger would turn into something more. Not anymore. Now, Benrey teases Gordon because it's so obvious how much he enjoys it. His eyes flutter, a pathetic little whine slipping past Benrey's fingers. Despite having had his mouth stuffed with Benrey's cock all this time, he still seems desperate to have something in his mouth, lavishing their fingers with his tongue. Benrey's more than happy to give him what he needs.

Once they're done prepping him, they pull their hand back, smearing the saliva against Gordon's face with a cruel chuckle. It's cute, Gordon actually chases after their fingers with his mouth when they pull them out. He'll have to make do though, Benrey has plans. Fitting themself between his legs, they dip down, drawing their tongue up the side of his face, where they can taste the salt clinging to his skin. "Taste so good," they breathe.

Leaning back, Benrey gently massages Gordon's thighs before reaching for his shirt, which has ridden pretty far up. His cock sits neglected and dripping wet, soaking his hairy stomach with his pre. Benrey gets the overwhelming urge to lap it up, and, not seeing a reason why not, moves down to do exactly that. They ignore his cock in the process, cleaning his waist before kissing up to the bottom of his shirt. Hooking their thumbs under the fabric, they push it slowly up, trailing kisses all the way up to his collar, at which point they lean back to tug his shirt off, tossing it away in a random direction.

Sitting back, Benrey takes in the sight of Gordon's body, a shiver rolling up their spine. "Fuck. Holy shit," they breathe. They've seen him naked before, but not like this, spread out before them where they can take in every detail at their leisure. Their hands, nails blunt, trace the shape of him, admiring his ample chest, fondling the soft skin of his tummy, massaging his thighs, cyan bubbles drifting out of their mouth. "I lucked the fuck out…! Unreal, Unreal Engine 4—Oh my god."

Diving down, Benrey kisses along Gordon's cheek to his mouth, licking inside without a care to the fact they can taste themself on his tongue. Gripping their cock, they position themself, rubbing the head against Gordon's hole, which pulses with the urge to have something inside. Slowly, they push past the tender ring of muscle, ensuring he has time to adjust as they go along. The last thing they want to do is hurt him, for even a second.

Still, having their cock enveloped in Gordon's tight heat has them pulling back from the kiss with a loud groan. Wrapping their arms around his thighs, they bend him in half, a gasp escaping him as they sit up on their knees and place their hands beside his shoulders, his cock drooling precum down on his chest. "Let me—know," they start, breathless and struggling to make coherent English come out of their mouth. "R-Red light, green light—"

As Benrey pushes inside, they let out a desperate noise, the pleasure crashing over them like a tidal wave. "Ohhh god—Benrey—Green, green, please move!" Gordon's voice is slurred and beautifully out of breath and Benrey can't wait to hear how it'll change once they start fucking him in earnest. But not yet. They keeps themselves buried a little longer just to savor the feeling of Gordon's tight heat, the pleasure going all the way to their toes. "Please—Hnngh, god—So fucking big… move, please, Benrey…"

All the incoherent pleas and babbling coming out of Gordon goes not just straight to Benrey's dick, but their head, a dark chuckle coming out of them as they lean their forehead against Gordon's. "Ahhh… so whiny, whiny boy," they tease, their arms wrapping around Gordon's thighs as they press deeper inside of him.

They push in about halfway before pausing and beginning to thrust shallowly inside him, getting him accustomed to it, getting more comfortable. Standard procedure when their cock is as long and thick as it is.

"S—S'good—fuck, tight—! God…" If putting their tentacle inside Gordon had been amazing, this is mindblowing. With the kinds of noises he's making, his hole clenching around them as they push a little deeper with each shallow thrust, it's like an electrical current has zapped through them and completely shorted out their brain. Their back archs, pressing their chest flush against his, feeling the slick heat of his skin sticking to theirs.

Before long those shallow thrusts become more full body, slamming their cock deep inside him as they listen to him cry out. He really is so fucking pathetic like this, and they love every second of it. Though nothing coherent is coming out of them anymore, either, whimpering, groaning, and drooling against Gordon's cheek. Not that he seems to give a shit about that, doesn't seem to care about much beyond taking whatever Benrey wants to give him. Which is exactly how they want him right now, entirely at their mercy.

"Hahhh—nnhhh—Love you, I love you…" Their claws are digging into his flesh again, drawing harsh lines in his skin. Sweet voice drifts out of their mouth, pink and rust colored bubbles lighting up the dark space.

"L-Love—hnnng—you… love—mmff… love you… s-so much," Gordon slurs, causing a lovesick grin to wobble on Benrey's lips, a stupid laugh escaping them as fireworks pop inside their chest.

"I love you…! Fuuahhh, fuck—Gordon—I love you, I love you I love you I lo—ahhhhh—!"

The pleasure sparking up their spine as they pound sharply inside him has the pressure building too high after what feels like not nearly enough time. "Hhhahhh—Gorr—hnnn—hhhhhhow, dhh—do you ffffahhhhnn—" They can't even get the words out, face contorting with pleasure. With a low whine they bury their face into the crook of his neck. "Gonna—gonna, fffuahh, ffff-fill you up—fuck—!"

A slender hand flies down between them, gripping Gordon's cock and stroking him hard and fast. It only takes a few strokes before he's arching his back, a wordless cry escaping him as he splatters his release all over his stomach and chest.

That's what does it for them, Gordon's head thrown back in ecstasy, his body twitching and shivering in their grasp. Their teeth sink into his neck, whimpering around the mouthful of flesh, eyes rolling back and thighs tensing as they drive sharply into him, rutting shallowly and filling him full of their cum. Pleasure floods them from head to toe as their whole body quivers and tenses, plum filling the air above their heads, until finally, they're spent, releasing his neck with a breathless groan and collapsing bonelessly against him.

The two of them lie together for a while, panting like they've run a marathon. Benrey's mind is totally devoid of thought, filled with nothing but love and warmth and Gordon, their beloved, their light and stars and whole, entire universe. Lying against his chest, they listen to the sound of his heart beating, quickly finding it to be their favorite melody. The sound of life. Of Gordon's life.

"Love you…" Gordon rasps. Croaky or not, the sound of Gordon declaring his love for them makes for an even better melody. "Love you so, so, so much."

Lethargically, Gordon leans up to press little kisses all over Benrey's face, as their grin grows ever wider until they're humming a delighted pink and blue into the air. Once their song is done, they return the favor with a barrage of kisses along Gordon's jaw, his cheek, all over his face as they find the strength to raise back up and lavish him with them. The laugh that drifts out of him as they do is the sweetest melody they've ever heard. Perhaps all the sounds of Gordon form into the perfect song, one they hope to hear as much as possible for the rest of their life.

Grasping the sides of his face in both hands, they press their lips to his, silently conveying the depth of their feelings for him. Words are lost on them now, the combination of their recent and very intense orgasm and weed making it difficult to keep up the human person act. That results in them singing a single pink orb into Gordon's mouth, imbuing him with a small amount of their love for him.

Benrey takes that as their cue to pull away. Carefully, they maneuver out from under Gordon's legs, immediately mourning the loss of his body heat, of that addictive feeling of skin-on-skin. They massage his plush thighs in an attempt to loosen up his sore muscles as they lay them down on the bed, kissing his thighs and the side of his knees as they do. Can't go much lower or they'll be keeping him up all night.

Brushing his hair aside, they follow the shape of his face to caress his cheek, thumb brushing against the skin beneath his eye. "Wanna cuddle?" they ask, happily wrapping Gordon up in their arms and coiling their legs around his like they're a pair of snakes. They really couldn't be happier, burying their face into Gordon's hair where their claws run through his curls, carefully detangling and combing through the strands. "Get lil'… drink action goin', wah-wah from that bathroom over there. If… you're cool with me leavin' for a few mins."

Gordon hums, turning his head to spot the door hanging open across from the bed. "Yeah… god, that sounds nice. I'm so sticky." That last part comes out as a bit of a whine as he drags a hand over the mess on his chest.

Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, Benrey says, "Got it. Rubber duckies for Gordon."

Raising up onto their knees with their arms wrapped around his back, they get to their feet, carrying Gordon in their arms. Topping isn't the only reason they're so steady on their feet already—they don't gotta deal with any pesky human anatomy wonkiness. They're at peak form already, merely swimming in a faint sense of pleasure that has them feeling loose and refreshed. 

"Put ya legs… 'round…" They position Gordon to wrap his legs around their waist, carrying him into the bathroom that way, head tucked against their shoulder where he keeps finding new places to lay little kisses.

Chapter Text

One of Benrey's many hands locates a light switch and flicks it on, revealing the largest bathroom they've ever seen in person. Gordon might not find it so impressive, but Benrey remembers the single bathrooms back at Black Mesa, like the type Tommy had attached to his dorm. Cramped as fuck, barely better than a locker room save for the sense of privacy.

This one is at least big enough that Benrey could lay flat on the floor in any direction if they wanted to, with a tub in the corner that looks more like a hot tub from Benrey's limited perspective. They don't know what to call it, but it's very shape. Triangular. Not to mention, big enough for two, from the looks of it. Benrey bends down to place Gordon along the edge on the tub, giving him a squeeze and a lingering kiss before pulling away. Feels like they gotta punctuate their every interaction that way, especially now.

There's nothing around the tub to wash with, no sponges or soaps or anything like that. There's a few shelves, mostly full of towels, but eventually Benrey manages to find a cute little basket under the sink. After bringing it into the light, they find a bunch of body washes, soaps, shampoo and conditioner, and some little…

"Yo humans keep snacks in they bathroommmm? That's epic, wha' the hell… thank youuuu…" They pluck one of the little balls out of the basket and plop it into their mouth. Almost immediately they spit it back out. "BLECH bro what the hell, this suckssssssssssss—" They stick their tongue out, humming various colors to get rid of the taste as Gordon wheezes from laughter behind them.

"It's—hhhhh… It's not for eating, babe, oh my god!" Frowning, Benrey lets out a small stream of orange sweet voice, carrying the basket over to the tub and setting it along the rim. "They're to make the bath smell nice. Most of them do, anyway. Grab some you like the smell of and we'll add it to the water."

As Gordon turns to deal with the water, Benrey stares at the various colorful balls in the basket, slowly processing what they're seeing. Once they're done, Benrey starts sniffing at the little jawbreakers—or whatever they're called—finding nothing but floral scents, which Benrey has even less reference for than normal. Tommy used a lot of scented products but they were mostly all citrus or strawberry, while Gordon's been smelling of apples and coconuts lately. The guards tended to smell like beef jerky and sweat, so that doesn't help either.

What they end up with is one of the only floral scents they'd recognize anywhere, burned into their brain as it is. The pale purple ball is nothing special to look at, unlike the other ones which are all tie-dye, glitter, and galaxy patterns, but it's their favorite scent by far. Better yet, there's two.

While they pick out their favorite, Gordon climbs inside the tub, the water sloshing against the sides as he gets settled back against the wall. "Come on," he urges, gesturing for them to get in the tub with him. "You gotta get in here with me. Ever had a hot bath before?"

The promise of a warm bath isn't even needed to convince them to climb in, not with how Gordon looks sprawled out in there. Luckily the tub is more than enough to fit them both, though getting settled is a little awkward.

At first, they lean against the wall, perpendicular to Gordon—the water warms their skin so beautifully they let out a borderline sexual moan, sinking as deep into the water as they can with a contented sigh, eyes fluttering shut. They hadn't realized it was possible to feel even looser than they already were. The sex had gotten them pretty hot, that and the weed keeping them relaxed and fuzzy, but this is like they've been enveloped in a warm blanket and cradled to sleep, like a little baby.

That's when they hear splashing, cracking open their eyes to catch Gordon bending forward to wrap his arms around their waist. "Wahh," Benrey softly exclaims as they're tugged into Gordon's lap, pulled out of their reverie to be held back against a large chest. Here, Gordon nuzzles into their hair, hands groping at their chest as he pulls them flush against him. This is a million times better, cushioned by Gordon's soft body instead of the harsh porcelain of the edge of the tub. They melt into him quickly, placing their hands against his thighs and gently massaging the skin there. 

"There, where you should be," he says, and they can't help but agree. It's where they've always wanted to be, and hope to stay, forever. "Did you pick out some nice scents for us? Go ahead and put them in the water, watch what happens."

Oh, yeah. "Purple balls comin' in hot," Benrey deadpans, reaching out to drop the little jawbreakers they've been holding onto into the water.

They watch as the water fizzles up like a shaken soda can, the ball slowly dissolving and spreading a creamy lavender color throughout the tub. Immediately they reach out to touch the dissolving purple orb, before sifting their hands through the water to push the color around. Whatever this is, it makes the bath smell amazing and feels really nice against their skin.

"Man, that's a nostalgic scent," Gordon comments, as Benrey feels a twinge of hope in their chest, body going still. "Good pick." He sifts his hand through the water, before snaking his arms around their waist, giving their shoulder a quick kiss.

Benrey leans back against him, at a loss for words. They've never taken a proper bath before, only showers. The act of washing had always been very mechanical, scrubbing their body down with some cheap soap that smelled like soft and kept their body smelling clean, as opposed to floral or fruity or some other fun thing. They did it to appear normal, not to relax or pamper themself.

It feels like they're entering into a brand new world of decadence, with the soft couch, the plush and warm bed, and now this. A life of living on a cold floor and a cheap mattress has made them a little obsessed with soft, and now they're so surrounded by it that it's a little overwhelming, a bright cyan drifting out of their mouth.

And without Gordon, they wouldn't have even known what these were or how to use them. Wouldn't be smelling like apples all the time, or crafting delicious soup either. Not to mention the s'mores, which are one of the most divine things they've ever tasted. They wonder what he'll show them next. Hopefully it's ice cream.

Benrey tilts their head to kiss Gordon's neck, his stubble rubbing against their cheek. "Love you," they whisper against his skin.

A pleasant hum passes Gordon's lips at their declaration. "I love you, too," he professes, causing a warm pink to flow out of Benrey's mouth.

Their eyes go big and pleading as they ask, "Will you let me wosh? You?" There's a thick pink sponge in the basket they've got their eye on. Like everything else in this house, they have no doubt it'll be much softer than the kind they'd find at Black Mesa—rarely—which just hurt their skin most of the time. "Could smell like roses, maybe more."

"Sure, babe," Gordon responds with a fond chuckle. "If I get to return the favor. I never did get to braid your hair." He runs his fingers through their hair, fingers brushing against their scalp and sending a tingly feeling across their skull as he does. A warm pink flows out of Benrey's mouth. That sounds perfect, exactly what they wanted though they hadn't thought to ask.

Sitting up on their knees, Benrey twists to put an arm around Gordon's shoulders, pressing a slow kiss to his cheek. Then one to his lips, because the sight of them are too alluring to resist.

"You first," Benrey says against his lips, kissing him again before pulling away to reach for the basket. They quickly locate the sponge, squishing it in their hands like a stress ball as they dig through their choice of soaps. With each of the several small bottles they squirt a little onto their tongue, the sight of which has has Gordon wheezing again, getting the taste and smell in tandem to decide on which one they like the most. Gonna be tasting it on Gordon's body later anyway. They hope.

The one they end up with is vanilla and cinnamon scented. Seems like something he'd like, or so they're guessing based on the scents he uses. Cinnamon is their personal favorite, anyway. They squirt a generous amount into their palm, rubbing it between both hands.

"Are you preparing to eat me, is that what's happening now?" He teases them, laughter turning into a moan as they squeeze his chest, smoothing the soap into his skin, thoroughly lathering him up. Gordon quickly relaxes into the touch, little encouraging sighs and moans escaping him as they work.

The sight of him all soapy and wet while making noises like that is doing a number on them, and they end up squeezing his pectorals in a decidedly salacious way as they rub the soap onto his body. Their face warms, an equally as warm pink flowing out of their mouth.

It's not the right time to be getting rowdy, though, and they manage to move on after a bit more fondling and rinsing off the bubbles coating his skin. Moving from his shoulders downwards, Benrey takes their time on his left hand, smoothing their palms against each other, comparing size—they're longer, he's thicker—dipping between each finger, massaging and caressing, before they rinse the soap off.

As Benrey tackles his other arm, they encounter… a small challenge. It's not like washing off a thick, jagged scar is some big feat requiring a doctorate in medicine or whatever, but every time they look at it or get anywhere close to it, their chest tightens. They feel like they're being put into some type of Saw trap. Look the evidence of how badly you've hurt your boyfriend in the eye, or the cage on your heart will burst. You have sixty seconds.

Romance isn't a genre they dip into very often. It tends to make them overreact, filled with yearning and getting emotional because two characters kissed, and when will someone kiss ME like that—so they don't know a lot of etiquette for this sort of thing. Is it considered romantic and healing to kiss his scar, or is that a faux pas?

Media has taught them a decent amount about how to be polite. For example, staring at someone's scars is considered rude, but they've already failed that considering they've stared directly at it for awhile now. Also, don't draw attention to it. Which leaves them at an impasse. Do they ask if they can touch it, or do they just go ahead and touch it?

Benrey audibly swallows. Maybe it's best if they don't make such a huge deal out of it. It's just Gordon's arm, regardless of what's on it. Humming some deep blue, they smooth their hands down over his forearm, pretending it hadn't taken them an eternity to get here as they lather the soap into his skin. They pause right above the scar, though, their nonexistent heart leaping into their throat.

- ♡ -

Every color Benrey sings draws Gordon's eye like a siren's song. Though they've yet to tell him much about what the colors all mean, it isn't hard to infer some of their meanings. For example, there's red, which has only ever been very, very bad, signifying that they're upset in some way. The dark, dull orange is horny, while the purple one is probably plum if the rhyme he's suspecting is correct. Deep blue is for calming down, so he knows to look out for that one if Benrey is humming it to themself.

The deep relaxation Benrey's ministrations lowers him into brings forth the fog of sub space to make him feel light and carefree, which only makes it so much more apparent when they suddenly stop. Cracking open his eyes, he spies the deep blue motes floating through the air, illuminating Benrey's concerningly passive face.

That's another thing he's started to recognize about them. They can be so animated and expressive, but when their face goes blank, there's often something troubling lurking inside the depths of their mind. It's taken time for him to fully grasp, but they carry a lot of trauma with them, much more than he's privy to.

And yet, they carry on, retaining their curiosity of all the things they've yet to experience. Despite being shown so little love in their life, they have so much to give. Thinking about such things makes Gordon's heart ache for them.

Following their gaze, he quickly spots the source of their hesitation. Though the pale hue of the scar circling his forearm stands out stark against his brown skin, it's hardly noticeable, fading to the point of looking years old as opposed to days. With so much going on, he's honestly forgotten about its existence, until now. It's not as though it impedes his functioning in any way; it feels as it always has, no loss of sensitivity, no phantom pains. It may as well have not even been an amputation.

There are lots of things that remind him of the incident, that send him back to that room. Darkness, empty rooms, certain loud noises. But the scar isn't one of those things.

But just because it means so little for him, doesn't negate that it means a lot to Benrey. For them, it's the source of the guilt they'll be carrying likely for the rest of their life. A reminder of how bad they can be, no matter how much Gordon tells them they aren't bad.

Gently, he moves his left arm to cup Benrey's face, tilting their head up to redirect their attention to him. "Hey, it's… it's okay. We… we both fucked up, alright? A lot. But it's over now. We're here, sharing a bath, not back there. And I love you, so, so much. If all that shit back there had to go down so I could be here with you tonight, then so be it. I won't regret a second of it."

A bold statement, but also an honest one. However tired, hurt, and messed up Gordon feels, he's also happier than he's been in a long, long time.

- ♡ -

Static floods Benrey's mind the longer they stare at the scar. No matter how faint it is, it feels fucking neon white in their mind, blinding and inescapable.

Their vision sways as Gordon redirects their attention, the soft touch breaking them out of their guilt spiral. Now they can focus on his face, on every little detail from the dark circles under his glimmering emerald eyes and the faint smattering of freckles across his nose. The fondness in his expression has them feeling so soft, leaning into his touch as the tension eases out of their body. The press of his lips against theirs solidifies it, lulling them into such a state of dreamy relaxation that they begin to melt completely.

"Want me to wash you now?" Gordon asks. "I can clean your hair, make you smell like a cookie. Would you like that?"

Their hands smooth over Gordon's, head turning to nuzzle against his palm, where they leave a kiss behind. They don't really need to keep washing his arm, the only place he's really gotten super dirty again is his waist, though the sticky mess there has started to wash away anyway. Maybe they should take a break. They can do better once they've calmed down.

A slow nod is all the response they give, before their mind starts to catch up, and they mourn the opportunity to get to do more. "Jus'… uh," Benrey mumbles. "Lemme finish later. Wanna touch all of you."

"Of course, babe. Not gonna say no to having you rub all over me." 

Leaning back, Benrey washes their hands off in the water, getting rid of all the soap suds stuck to them. Peering up through their lashes at Gordon, they uncertainly ask, "Uh. Where do you… want me?" Based on the way Gordon had reacted to being washed, Benrey gets the feeling this is going to be… a lot, and they don't wanna pressure him into anything by popping a stiffy right in the middle of their relaxing bath time.

Gordon reaches for the basket Benrey brought over, sliding it closer along the rim so he can select the items he wants. They watch him pick out two bottles in a soft, rosy pink with lettering they can't decipher before the bottles are turned away, and Gordon urges them to sit closer, his legs bracketing them in as they sit between his thighs.

Having their hair touched is like a love language to them. When someone runs their fingers through your hair, they do it with a sense of tenderness, enjoying the texture, the length, the color. The repetitive motions, the care, even the sound of a brush drawing through their hair is deeply soothing to them.

As Gordon tips their head forward, they close their eyes, sighing softly at the feeling of water flowing down over their head, dark strands of hair cascading down to create a veil around their face. When their eyes peek open, they see a waterfall flowing in front of their face, slowly thinning until there's nothing left but rivulets dripping down their face. Every one of their senses zeroes in on this feeling, the world around them ceasing to exist.

Fingers rub against their scalp, coaxing a warm pink purr out of their chest, eyes slowly drifting shut. The dollop of shampoo Gordon massages into their hair is luxuriously soft, warmed by his hands and smelling delightfully fruity and pink, a scent that has them exhaling a tranquil sigh. If not for the warm glow through their eyelids, they might just fall asleep here.

The sound of Gordon's soft chuckling reaches their ears, causing them to stir from their trance. Water flows down over their head again, rinsing the pink bubbles from their hair as they hum a curious teal. Eyes fluttering open, they're about to raise their head when Gordon's words fly out and hit them directly in the face, startling them to full awareness.

"So," Gordon starts, "Did you decide to have a huge dick, or was that just a happy accident?"

"Huh?" they blurt, blinking rapidly as they struggle to process his words. "Bro, the fuck? I'm natural. Not clickin' any weird emails, enlargement pills." Huffing, they shift their legs a bit, getting more comfortable. "I mean. I just grew like, like a people, and I got people things, I. Made this. It's like mine and that's what I look like. Didn't realize this is a massive horse cock. Not complaining though. I mean wouldn't you."

Gordon wheezes as he squirts conditioner into his hands, working the soft goop into Benrey's hair from the tips up towards their scalp. They observe the way his hands work, delicately handling the strands as he rubs the pink into their hair.

"Yeah, okay, fine," he says. "I was just thinking… with the shape shifting and all, maybe you decided to give yourself a little advantage. I mean, I sure as hell would if I could."

He starts to gently massage Benrey's scalp again, sending tingles down their neck that have them purring pink sweet voice again. Their body quickly turns to jelly under Gordon's ministrations, even more relaxed than they would be alone in their dorm at Black Mesa, high as shit and cuddling up in bed.

- ♡ -

"I mean the tentacle, that's you as well isn't it? It's all you…" That last part, Gordon mutters mostly to himself, a realization dawning on him.

For some reason, he's always thought of there being a "real" Benrey and a "shapeshifted" Benrey. But that's not true, is it? He can't limit his understanding of Benrey to one "real" body while dismissing all the others as fake. Because that's not what's happening. It's all Benrey, the tentacles and their human dick, the massive monster that held him in their palm and the figure sitting in front of him right now, purring out glowing orbs of pink.

It's the kind of logic you really need to be high to grasp. Luckily for Gordon, he can still feel the effects of the brownies enough to follow his own thoughts. It's almost dizzying, realizing that your boyfriend is just one facet of a multitude. 

"Woah…" Gordon's hands still, coming to rest on Benrey's neck. "You're… so fucking amazing, you know that?"

Back when he first met Benrey, his opinion of them had been that they were weird and creepy looking. Vaguely middle aged, possibly high on something, not exactly a trustworthy face. Getting them out of the guard uniform helped a lot, transforming them into something more akin to a member of a 90s metal band, or an emo band considering the clothes they wear now. Gordon still remembers the surge of heat that had hit him when Benrey first turned up in their new emo getup.

Not just that, but Gordon's perception of them changed a lot as he started to develop more positive, and romantic, feelings for them. Gone is the middle aged druggie creep, and in its place is a person with stunning yellow eyes, luscious hair and an alluring, ethereal face that just skirts the edges of humanity.

At first glance, you wouldn't even notice anything about them is off. As you look closer, the small details start to stand out more. Like how their skin turns black down their fingers and toes, their talon-like claws, their glowing, fellinesque eyes. And then there's all the shapeshifting, extra body parts that sprout at a moment's notice. Extra arms to carry Gordon with, extra eyes to observe him with, an extra mouth to whisper filth into his ear while they're kissing. They seem to enjoy making more of themself to get more of Gordon with. The thought is simultaneously flattering and arousing.

He leans his forehead against theirs. The sweet scent of strawberry envelops him, his heart skipping a beat, and he presses a kiss to their lips before pulling back to continue his work on their hair.

- ♡ -

A gentle hum is Benrey's only response to Gordon's ponderings, confirming his words, as confusing as they are. It would be like if they asked if Gordon's liver or lungs were also "him". Just because they don't see it all the time doesn't mean it's not a part of him. It's not like it matters, though, any ponderings they had about why he would need to ask are quickly washed away. They're simply too relaxed to care about anything.

A shiver runs down Benrey's spine at his gentle touches, a hand laying gently over his arm, not pushing or pulling. Gentle sighs and pink sweet voice drift out of them that turn to low, breathless whines as they feel his fingers rubbing near their ears. Their mind is generally empty, basking in the ambience and the dreamy atmosphere of their environment—the warm water, Gordon's hands, his legs pressing into their sides. The lighting, the scents, even the sounds. It's perfect.

The sound of Gordon's voice draws them out of that reverie they keep falling into, like a contented cat about to fall asleep in Gordon's lap. Benrey looks up at him through their lashes, wondering what's gotten him sounding like that, when his hands caress the sides of their neck, and he continues. A surprised teal escapes them, proceeded quickly by pink and yellow, flustered by the sudden praise that feels especially intense when followed by the forehead lean and the firm press of Gordon's soft, plush lips against theirs. Their eyes droop, dizzy as he pulls away, swaying as they try to chase after him.

"Mean," they whine, referring to the distance between them. There's practically little cartoon hearts in their eyes as they stare up at him, longing to taste his lips and let that dizzy, heated feeling wash over them again. "Wanna 'nother kiss, please? Another, sir? Please?"

"You're so pretty when you beg," Gordon says, taking them by surprise, a jolt of electricity coursing through them. Their mind starts working overtime to process such an unexpectedly erotic sentence. Any subtlety they'd been striving for up to that point flies violently out the window, shattering glass everywhere, as their cock stirs and they let out a startled whimper. "So polite."

As they're left floundering, Gordon tips their head back by the chin, dipping down to capture their lips in a lazy kiss that wipes all coherent thought from their mind. They inhale sharply through their noise, cock springing to life as if Gordon has snapped his fingers and willed it to. The leisurely kissing, the hands trailing down their body to massage their neck and the muscles in their back, they can't help but whimper as their hands find their way to his shoulders, wrapping loosely under them to grasp at his back.

After a while, Benrey starts to get used to it, drunk on the taste of Gordon's lips and the heat burning their body. They could do this for a long time, they think, float in this dreamlike space with Gordon where nothing else matters, at least for now. They've never had anything this intimate before, this unhurried yet intense feeling of passion and serenity that makes them wish they were more literate so they could have something beautiful to say about it.

It's really unfair, though, that Gordon could draw his tongue against their mouth like that just to pull away so soon after. Teasing them with more. They chase after him as he pulls away, slowly drifting back to the surface to process what's going on around them, why Gordon isn't kissing them anymore.

"I'm going to wash the conditioner out and braid your hair," Gordon tells them. "Think you can handle being away from my mouth that long?"

"Whuhhh… huh?" they mumble, brain slowly buffering. "Oh. Might die of a kiss deficiency but idk. Do your thing though."

Benrey stills still, closing their eyes and humming blue to calm the arousal brewing inside them as the water cascades over their head. It helps to have Gordon's fingers combing through their hair, soothing them, carrying them back to a more romantic mindset as opposed to the need to jump him the second he's done.

"I'm gonna have to move you around now, babe," Gordon tells them, pressing a quick kiss to their lips.

The promise to braid their hair has already been swept away on the waves of relaxation washing over them, so when Gordon moves them around again it takes a moment for them to figure out why. It's a clumsy maneuver that Benrey tries their best to work with, leaning comfortably back against his chest. It's a little uncomfortable when their cock rests rock hard between their thighs, but the more Gordon touches their hair, and the more they idly hum their deep blue sweet voice, the more it goes down.

Having their hair braided is a brand new concept. Tommy's never done it for them and they were surrounded by security guards with buzzcuts. At the absolute most they remember one having a mullet under his helmet. So they don't actually understand how it works or what it would feel like, to have or to run their fingers over.

The slow, methodical way Gordon works through their hair, occasionally brushing against their scalp in a way that makes their skull tingle, is nice. They curl their legs closer, laying their head on their knees and closing their eyes to bask in the sensation.

Once he's done, Benrey feels the braid as it's draped over their shoulder, opening their eyes to get a better look. It's kinda hard to see, short and thick but neatly made. They wrap a hand around it to try and pull it closer for better inspection, running their hands over the loops and enjoying the feeling. Weird, to think their hair could be turned into this. Humans may have hurt them a lot in the past, but they sure are creative.

Benrey's lips part to comment on it when they feel Gordon's teeth pierce the nape of their neck, arms wrapped tight around their waist pulling them back against his chest. A sharp, stuttering breath is pushed out of them that sounds like pain, but is actually much closer to shock. Only, it's not teal sweet voice that comes out of them, it's a dark, dirty, rusted orange.

Electricity crackles through them as if they've been tased, their body jolting before going perfectly still. All the work they'd done to calm themself crumbles into dust, some unused part of their brain lighting up, one that's got their blood pumping, what few thoughts they had replaced with the urge to submit. It leaves them breathless and hopelessly horny, an effect that starts to fade as soon as Gordon releases them, peppering them with kisses that completely contradict everything the bite had brought with it.

A slender hand clasps over their mouth. What the fuck was that? That's never happened before, but, also, no one's ever done that to them before. It's always the side of the neck, their throat, or, if it's from behind like how Gordon's sitting, their shoulder. Teeth clamped down around their flesh to keep from making too much noise, or to establish dominance.

But that, that had felt like a familiar place, a similar fuzziness that their less human side brings out of them. For a moment there, they'd been ready to sit perfectly still and let Gordon fuck them senseless, had expected it, just as someone would expect a high-five to be returned. It's just how that interaction goes, no point in holding up your hand like that if you don't want someone to slap it, just like there's no point in Gordon clamping his jaw down around their neck if he's not going to try and breed them.

And that, that little word right there is exactly the distinction they need to know that wasn't just some new fetish they've unlocked. That was a biological function that Gordon probably doesn't even have. That Benrey doesn't need when they can't procreate anyway… unless they can?

They're so drawn into these thoughts that they don't hear Gordon's apology, instead humming a deep blue into their closed mouth and swallowing them down. That soothes the burning heat and tingling, electric feeling consuming their body, flagging their erection before Gordon has a chance to notice, hopefully.

Once they're done, they pull their hand back with an, "Uh huh," because that's probably an acceptable response to whatever Gordon just said. "Uh. Thank, braid. Pretty. All dolled up now. Ready for… hhhhhhhhhot date."

The more they speak, the more composed they feel. If they weren't feeling so shaken up they might think to turn and kiss him as a thank-you. Instead, their trembling hand reaches for the vanilla-cinnamon body wash. "Whuh, uhh. My turn. Well, your turn. Pampering, Gordon… single ticket, population, you." Their jokes aren't very good anymore, but they're having trouble thinking coherently.

"Sure, yeah, I'd love that," Gordon says, as Benrey holds the bottle up to their chin. "Just… you know you don't have to hold back, alright? I love you, every part of you." He kisses the faint mark on the back of their neck, his mouth wandering down to their shoulder. "You look very handsome, in the braid, I mean. Got the prettiest boyfriend on the planet."

Benrey leans back against Gordon as he gives them a little squeeze, a fuzzy feeling enveloping them. They never thought they'd get this treatment, not just the kind of care Gordon would show to Tommy or any of his other friends, but more than that. They hesitate to say "his love", even though that's what he keeps saying, how he keeps acting, because…

"Wow thanks," Benrey says, sounding sarcastic in their attempt to sound heartfelt instead. Tilting their head back, they kiss Gordon's jaw, nuzzling into his neck. "Gonna have a, hhhhhhhhhard time if you keep saying this stuff though. Hornyman. Hard-on Fuckman. Now let me touch you."

As Gordon chuckles at their ridiculous nicknames, Benrey carefully maneuvers themself to face him again, sitting on their knees between his spread legs. They glance at his right arm, which they hadn't quite finished with, before deciding to just let it go for now.

Instead, they spread the sweet-smelling gel liberally across their hands, using the sponge to help them clean off Gordon's waist down to his thighs. There's no real cleanup required in the longterm for the cum they left inside him, it culls itself just like their sweet voice does. Which is fortunate, because if they had to venture inside his asshole they'd probably just end up fucking him again, and then he really wouldn't walk tomorrow.

Turning to kiss his bent knee, Benrey continues on to his thighs, resisting the urge to stroke Gordon's dick with the flimsy excuse of "cleaning" him. They can see enough through the bath bomb's lavender swirls to tell he's got an interest, but if they don't draw a line somewhere, they'll spend literally all of their time fucking him.

It's difficult not to lavish him with affection anyway. Just being near him has them brimming with love that has to go somewhere. In this case, it's kissing his legs as they wash them. Though Benrey has to scoot back a bit to keep going, down both ankles before reaching, uh. Oh.

Well, there's no real reason to keep going, it's really just his waist that needed the most cleanup. Not to mention, he's already had a bath tonight. But. In the interest of being thorough… and he does spend so much time on his feet, prob'ly dirty, prob'ly hurts… could use a little attention… yeah. This all makes perfect sense and isn't weird at all. Just don't make a big deal out of it, they tell themself. Like the arm but with a much different vibe.

They squirt more of the body wash into their hands, a lot of it, sitting back so they can prop his foot up in their lap. With a deep breath, they go right for it, smoothing both hands firmly over his foot to coat him in it, feeling a jolt of electricity shoot up their spine immediately, which isn't exactly ideal, nor is the warmth gradually building into a blazing heat all across their body.

They can't look away, fixated on the shape of his feet as they push their fingers between his toes, slowly, feeling out the pads before trailing back down. They trace over his curves, pressing their thumbs against the arc to work out any spots of tension. As they work, their breaths grow shallow, cock swiftly hardening between their thighs. They should hurry up, just scrub and rinse and be done with it, but they can't get themself to do it. There's always somewhere else they want to touch.

Despite all the shame and arousal brewing in the pit of their stomach, Benrey thinks they're doing a pretty good job. They've spent enough time at Tommy's feet to understand how to give a pretty good foot massage, and Gordon is so stressed out all the time, he's full of knots to work out. Might walk better despite their promise to make that particular activity challenging for him.

But then Gordon lifts his foot away and Benrey immediately starts to panic. He noticed, he noticed and he doesn't like it. He's so sweet, he probably won't be mean about it, but even the polite rejection is going to make them feel like such a disgusting pervert—

A gasp escapes them as they feel Gordon's toes press up under their chin, tipping their head back. Their brain shorts out immediately, breaths stuttering, a whimper escaping them.

"Should have known that was what you were after, freak," Gordon spits, causing Benrey's body to tremble from shame and lust alike. The way he's sitting with his arms spread along the rim of the tub exudes this sense of power that makes Benrey feel weak, makes them want to drop down and kiss his feet, suck his dick, whatever he wants. "Is this getting you hard? C'mon, show me."

The cocky way he's looking at them spells nothing but trouble, and his words have a hard jolt of electricity shooting through them, brows furrowing with arousal, their only response being a moan and a breathless, "Oh, fuck—"

Blindly reaching for the sides of the tub, Benrey's eyes flick all over the place, at Gordon's face, his lounging posture, what they can make out of the foot pressing into their face. This doesn't feel real, more like a very vivid fantasy they're having. Their mind is nothing but a mantra of oh fuck, fuck, holy shit, unable to believe what's happening right now.

Slowly, hyperaware of the toes resting against their chin, Benrey raises up, sitting on their knees and leaning against the back of the tub. Their cock is stood straight up, the head brushing against their waist.

Benrey's body feels like it's on fire, skin prickling with arousal and shame, which is just making everything feel more potent. They force themself to look at Gordon, watching him with a pleading look. They can feel his ardent gaze raking over their body, lingering along the length of their throbbing cock, at the bead of pale blue precum glistening at the tip. Being observed usually makes them uncomfortable, but in this circumstance it's hopelessly arousing considering what Gordon's seeing.

"Look at you, hard enough to burst, all from touching my feet," Gordon mocks, his foot trailing mindless patterns over their chest. It all has them feeling dizzy with the humiliation, and that just makes their body burn hotter. "You could probably cum just from that, huh?"

The only response they can give is a low groan, a shiver rolling up their spine. He's right, they're painfully hard and it feels like only a matter of time before something pushes them over the edge, cumming untouched and humiliating themself even further. The thought of that just turns them on even more, though.

Their hips jerk as Gordon pushes his toe against their nipple with a dark chuckle, breaths stuttering and growing shallow as pleasure dances over their chest down to their aching cock, lashes fluttering. "Oh, god," they babble, voice taking on a reedy quality. Claws scrabble against the porcelain edges of the tub, restraining themself from trying to hump the empty air, though their hips move in small increments anyway.

"You won't get to, though, not until you've finished the job. If I'm satisfied I might give you a reward." Gordon gives the water a critical look. It's as colourful and fragrant as when they started, yet he still shakes his head and says, "The water's way too dirty, though…" Looking up at Benrey, he smirks, a hand raising to brush back some hair that's gotten stuck to his forehead. "…You need to use your mouth to clean my feet properly."

His command takes some time to process. It feels like their mind has to run seven laps around the concept before racing through to the finish line. Once it hits them, they make a strange noise, startled and hopelessly turned on.

"Holy shit," they breathe. Suddenly, they feel like the dark void that is their mind suddenly starts to glow a bit brighter, a twinkle in the distance building in intensity as a realization strikes out of nowhere. "Yessss, sirrrrrrr," they add.

A hand reaches for Gordon's ankle just to hastily pull back. Instead, Benrey lowers down, keeping their dick above the water while putting themself at eye level with Gordon's foot. For a moment they just stare drunkenly at it, admiring the shape and how soft and smooth his skin looks.

Once they've gotten their fill, they lean in to kiss the incline, slow and worshipful, glancing at Gordon's face just to be sure this isn't some elaborate prank. The look on his face encourages them to keep going, dragging their tongue up to just below his toes, a shudder wracking their body.

Their hot breaths fan out against his skin, groaning as they turn their head, repeating the lick up the side before sucking his big toe into their mouth with a wanton moan. Lavishing over it with their tongue, Benrey hollows out their cheeks, sucking loudly and messily as their orange-tinted saliva drips down Gordon's foot. They quickly lap it up with their tongue before moving on to suck all four of the rest of his toes into their mouth at once.

Benrey quickly loses the plot, consumed by the task set out before them such that nothing else exists. Their cock aches but they don't care about that either. All they care about is lavishing Gordon's feet with their tongue with the same level of attention they paid it with their hands, dipping between his toes, licking, sucking, kissing. Nothing is left untouched. Every time their lips part from him, a dark, dull orange bubble escapes their mouth before they're right back to it, moaning loudly.

Briefly, their eyes flick away, just long enough to catch sight of Gordon's hand moving beneath the surface of the water. It takes them awhile to realize what he's doing, lazily stroking himself as he watches them work. The realization hits them hard, groaning and nuzzling against Gordon's foot which curves so perfectly against their cheek. He likes this, they're getting him off like this. Probably not in the way it's getting them off but something about this is working for him, too.

After that brief indulgence in having his foot pressed against them, they kiss him again, peppering little smooches all the way down the length of his foot where they lick and suck at the sole. They've covered every inch but they still want more. Despite their cock begging for attention they don't want to stop, they could stay here forever.

"Damn," Gordon groans. "So fucking hard from just sucking on toes, you're really this into it, huh, you little pervert? Probably thinking about how that pretty cock of yours would look between my soles. Keep up the good work and I just might let you do it."

Gordon's taunts send shivers through their body, down the back of their skull, cock throbbing, balls tightening and nearly sending them over the edge. With a broken moan they pull back, breathing loud and hard as they exhale deep blue sweet voice. Looking up through their lashes, they see that Gordon's foot looks less clean considering it's now coated in their sweet voice, pink and orange and yellow mixing together, slowly dissolving in some places while shining bright in others. It's extra mortifying, seeing the physical evidence of everywhere their mouth has touched.

His other foot is still in the water, and though he hasn't given permission for them to touch, they have to if they're going to "finish the job" as he'd ordered. They only touch his ankles, though, setting the first one back down in the water before bringing the other up to their mouth to give it the same treatment. They worshipfully kiss along the curve of his foot before running their tongue over every inch they can. Their long, forked pink-orange-yellow tongue pokes out from between his toes, long enough to lap at the other side, to wrap around his toes before sucking them into their mouth.

It's messy and wet and they don't care at all. They're disgusting, they're completely filthy and perverted, and these facts have their body vibrating with need. Once they're done thoroughly coating the entirety of his foot in their sweet voice-infused saliva, they press their face against it, breathing heavily. "Hahhhh—pluh—please," Benrey begs, dazed eyes needy and pleading as they stare drunkenly over at Gordon. "Done good? Sir?"

His face is flushed a deep red-orange, breaths growing heavy to match theirs. Humming in thought at their question, he pulls his foot away, ignoring Benrey's whine as he reviews their work. His throat bobs as he swallows, eyes dark as he looks up at Benrey.

"Little messy, but good enough," he declares. Benrey hangs off every word, completely at his mercy. They'd do just about anything he told them to right now, utterly hypnotized.

Their gaze snaps downwards, unable to comprehend what's going on as Gordon pushes them back against the wall with his foot pressed dead in the center of their chest. A shuddering moan escapes them in orange and their whole body trembles, claws scrabbling at the sides of the tub.

"This what you want, huh?" Gordon taunts. "Want me to rub my big feet all over your cock? Fine, I'll do it since I'm such a kind and benevolent master."

Yellow eyes dart from Gordon's foot up to his face as he speaks, whimpering at the degrading feel of their own sweet voice getting smeared against them as he rubs it off his foot and onto their chest. Blue drifts out of their mouth, the porcelain cracking under the harsh grip of their claws as they try not to cum from that alone—or from Gordon calling himself their master, fuck, he's really into this, and it makes them so dizzy they can't think.

Gordon's foot trails lower down their waist, the dark hairs trailing up towards their navel tickling the edge of his sole. They're fixated on the sight, back arched into the curve of his foot, needing him pressed firmly against them, cock twitching with the promise of more.

"Oh, god," Benrey breathes as his foot hovers over their tip, realizing he's actually going to do it, and their mind reels. Pale blue precum dribbles messily from their cock, twitching from just the promise alone. They might not survive—

The foot pressing down over their cock rips the noisiest moan out of them, hips jerking forward once before they can stop themself. As he starts to move the arch along their length, their head tips back with a loud stream of pink-to-orange sweet voice, legs squirming and back arching into the touch.

"Thank you…!" they cry out, voice jumping up in pitch. "Hhhhahhh—Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou—Hnngghhh—!" Their rambling cuts off, Gordon's toes curling around their sensitive tip and sending sparks through their body, the sensation driving them absolutely insane. All they can do is babble and whine, hips moving slowly as their cock feels like it's going to burst at any moment.

The addition of Gordon's other foot draws a gasp out of them, eyes going wide for a moment before their head falls against their shoulder, bliss written all over their face. The two large feet sandwich Benrey's cock between them, easily enveloping them. With every downward stroke, precum drips all over the smooth skin of his instep, and the sight has them trembling uncontrollably.

Their speech has devolved into repetitions of "oh god", "fuck", and "holy shit", sweet voice unable to form properly anymore, instead dripping down their chin in sunset tones. They're practically sobbing with the force of the pleasure washing over them, balls tight and ready to burst. One of their hands raises to fist their own hair, quickly remembering the braid and then not knowing where to go, fingers curling against their face.

"Pluh—ahhhh—please," Benrey begs, pushing their hips forward and watching the head of their cock peek out from between Gordon's feet, leaking profusely all over his cute little toes. "I ca—c-can't—"

"Are you gonna cum? Do it. Cum all over my feet like the fucking degenerate you are, I dare you."

His taunting is the final nail in the coffin. The pressure building higher and hotter finally snaps, Benrey's hips jerking sharply upwards as their cum spurts out over Gordon's feet and between his toes, oozing down towards his ankles. They cry out in desperate little bursts of plum, face contorted with pleasure, eyes corked shut, just to flutter open in time to see the last of their own mess drenching Gordon's feet, a lot more of it than normal.

Like a puppet with their strings cut, Benrey collapses to their knees, slumping bonelessly against the back of the tub. But before Gordon can pull his legs back, Benrey reaches out to grasp onto his ankles, pulling them closer to lick the cum off of him, sucking his toes to get the mess out from between them.

Their enthusiastic and sloppy cleanup has Gordon's hand working faster over his dick, a slightly unhinged giggle escaping him as he loses his composure completely. His back arches, cock peeking up over the surface of the water as his release splatters against his chest, ruining all of Benrey's hard work.

A whine escapes Benrey's lips as Gordon pulls his feet back, kittenishly reaching out for his ankles to no avail. The lack of contact has them sagging back against the bath, sluggishly pulling their legs out from under them to sit flat on their ass, head thrown back and panting. Their skin cries out for attention, body far too cold suddenly, but all this is rectified as Gordon reaches out to gather them up into his arms. With a contented noise, they curl up against him.

"So good, you did so fucking good," Gordon says. "Love you so fucking much, Benrey." Their post-nut euphoria intensifies with all of Gordon's praise. The words "good" and "love" and "Benrey" bounce around in their brain like a DvD screensaver. Gently, Gordon wipes up the sweet voice from their chin with some bath water, before pressing a kiss to the top of their head, hand rubbing over their back. "My good boy, making me feel so good, looking so fucking beautiful."

It's been a long time since someone's treated them like this—well, with them being in the state of mind to be receptive, at least. The praise and the cuddles are exactly what they want and Gordon is so good at administering them. Benrey nuzzles against him, sighing softly as he begins to wash them, just floating pleasantly along. It's so easy for them to stay here, in this blissful expanse of nothing, no thoughts, just warmth and love and tranquility.

When most of the grime has been cleansed from their bodies, Gordon gently lifts Benrey up to set them on the steps to the tub, tugging out the plug to the bath as he does so. The air outside the bath stings their wet skin, though it gets better as Gordon kneels to dry them off with one of the fluffiest towels they've ever felt. Though not as bad as being outside, they're still left shivering on the steps, leaning close to Gordon for warmth as he works.

As he tosses the used towel aside, he asks, "You think you can manage to walk to the bedroom, babe? I'd offer to carry you, but your monster dong did a number on me."

Lifting their head, they blink slowly at him. The words "walk" and "bedroom" stand out, before "monster dong" hits them like a bucket of cold water and they start snickering childishly.

"I did it," they cheer in a mumbling, dull monotone. Once they're done chuckling, they get to their feet, tracking down something they remember from the skeleton's surveyance of the house; a little closet by the door full of bathrobes, half small and silky with loud prints, the other half solid colors, thick, and fluffy. Obviously Benrey picks the fluffy one, in a nice midnight blue, keeping their body warm as they head back for Gordon. "No offer me. Gave me SIX. World record, speedrun, all time, feet-exploit no vibrator any percent."

As they sweep him off his feet, a confused laugh breaks out of him, wheezing as they effortlessly lift him up to carry him back to bed.

"You're making even less sense than usual, babe," Gordon says, nuzzling into Benrey's neck. "Think I might have scrambled your brain with my feet."

With some extra arms, Benrey lifts up the covers, depositing Gordon into bed before climbing in after him. Their main arms loop around him, while a third adjusts the covers snugly over the top of them. After squirming a bit to get cozy, Benrey dips down to kiss Gordon, slow and tender.

"Love you," they say, nuzzling in against his neck. "Sleeps time for human bean. Good night."

"Love you, too," Gordon easily responds, putting a warm smile on Benrey's face, their claws gently kneading at Gordon's back.

- ♡ -

The past hour or so has been so relaxing and busy that Gordon hasn't had time to worry about a thing. Not when Benrey is taking such good care of him, bringing him such intense pleasure before giving him a bath that put his earlier soak to shame.

But now, there's nothing to keep his thoughts from wandering. The room is dark, lit only by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains nearby, the blankets soft and plush, Benrey's body tangled up with his. But none of that is enough to quell the fears creeping up on him. Because it had been like this last night as well—the two of them tangled up in a sleeping bag together, basking in their newfound love for one another. Everything had been so idyllic, and then he'd woken up to an empty tent.

If that happens again, after everything that's gone down today, he doesn't know if he'll be able to handle it. He can't demand Benrey remain glued to his side at all times, though. It's like they said, they need space sometimes. If not for this fear of isolation, Gordon would, too. But Black Mesa has ruined that for him, like it's ruined so many things for so many people. He can only hope that with time, and maybe some therapy, he'll find that peace again. For now, all he can do is make sure he isn't surprised by the loneliness. 

"Hey, Ben?" he says, waiting until they start to stir, letting out a little sleepy groan before continuing. "Can I… Can you do something for me? If… when you need time alone, please just, let me know before you go running off again. Maybe give me an estimate of how long you'll be gone for. Even if you have to wake me up to do it, I just, I don't—I'm going to try and handle it better, but if I know you'll be back, I won't freak out as much."

It's embarrassing to have to ask for this, like he's a child lacking object permanence. But it's the best he can do without help from a therapist and maybe medication. Although, if Benrey is going to keep sniffing out weed brownies he might actually be fine.

"I can… try," Benrey mumbles, rubbing their cheek against his neck. "Kinda stupid though. Might fuck up."

Gordon's heart clenches. Suddenly there are tears in his eyes, and he doesn't even know why. Hurriedly blinking them away, he tugs Benrey closer, burying his face against the top of their head. There's so much to deal with, all the fear, anxiety, and exhaustion weighing him down. But through all of that, there's this warmth, this sense of affection and love that lights up the darkness of his mind.

What would he have done if Benrey hadn't been around? Would he even make it out of the city? If he thinks too deeply about it, the despair threatens to drown him, a pool of black swirling through his mind.

It's okay. He's okay. Benrey's here with him, promising to try. There's so much they've done for him, that they're willing to do in the future, and he hopes he can find a way to repay them. Being a burden on them is something he never wants to do.

"You're not stupid, you're learning." He mumbles the words into Benrey's hair, sleep slowly dragging him down into its murky depths. "Thank you…" And then, because he can't say it enough, "I love you."

After that, his thoughts become hazy, slipping away like morning mist as he dozes off, the soft, strawberry scent of Benrey's hair following him into his dreams.

- ♡ -

Benrey's fingers flex against Gordon's back, their legs curling around his. Though sweet, his words sound like something Tommy would say, always putting a positive spin on every negative thing Benrey spouts. It's a kind sentiment, but it doesn't hit the same anymore. After a few minutes of idle thought, listening to Gordon's breaths smooth out as he falls asleep, they realize the reason why. Tommy's reassurances came at a time of naivete, when Benrey thought everything could be easily explained. It was believable then but they're not so sure anymore.

Maybe that's what caution is? They're scared of fucking up again. Gordon seems attached but he could easily latch onto someone else, someone better. Might even start to see Benrey as more of a threat and liability than an asset. They have to do better, they have to actually try. Think of someone other than themself, which is… hard.

Blackened fingers find their way into Gordon's hair, stroking through the lightly-damp strands. This is all so much, but if they just believe in their ability to do good, believe in Gordon's love—it's a risk, but it could work. Letting that be their final thought, they close their eyes and drift off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Something is tickling Gordon's nose. As he moves to brush it away, he realizes his arms are trapped beneath something, letting out a small, frustrated groan. Cracking open his bleary eyes, he squints against the bright sunlight streaming in through the navy curtains shrouding the window nearby. The deep blue plaster on the walls and dark mahogany table pushed up beneath the window help draw him back to reality.

A warm, fuzzy feeling blossoms in his chest, and after a few moments of fruitless pondering and squirming around, he finally figures out what it is. He lodged beneath Benrey's arms, his own draped over their waist, legs tangled with theirs beneath the duvet. There's a game in their hands, the faint sounds of cartoon violence reaching his ears, and their lips are resting against his brow, their every breath warming his skin. As Gordon takes all of this in, he's consumed by such a feeling of delight that he can't help but press a kiss to Benrey's neck, where their fuzzy robe has fallen open.

"Mornin'," he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. "What are you playing?"

This is the dream, he thinks. Waking up in a plush bed tangled up in someone he loves, warm beams of sunlight streaming in from outside. If only he could add "no worries" to that list, but unfortunately, the world is nothing but worries right now. Luckily they're not in the world right now, but their cozy little cocoon where nothing exists but the gentle, sweet scent of Benrey's skin and the sight of their beautiful features bathed in the sunlight.

"Zeldy," Benrey mumbles, their drowsy voice giving Gordon butterflies as he rubs his stubbly face on their neck. Green drifts out of their mouth in a gentle but peppy aria, tilting their head to kiss his brow as they turn off their game. "Mornin' sunshine, light of my life, sweetheart, cutiepie, uh, based malewife apple of MY eye."

Gordon wheezes a laugh at Benrey's nicknames. "You dork," he affectionately shoots back, nipping at Benrey's neck before rolling over onto his back. Beside him, Benrey gracefully goes through the motions of removing their JoyCons and tucking everything away into their blue carrying case. Gordon stretches out his limbs with a series of crackles and pops, a testament to how rough the past week has been, and the fact he's nearing thirty.

At least it hasn't affected his libido. Damn, he seriously can't believe he came four times yesterday, he really shouldn't have been able to get that last one off. The memory of Benrey's mouth enveloping his toes has heat flashing over his body, his morning wood twitching with interest.

That's when Benrey curls up alongside him, arm slid under his neck so they can stroke through his hair, their other hand fondling his waist. And for a while, they just lie there, basking in the relaxation and warmth of the early morning atmosphere. Until Benrey mumbles, "You hungy? Got some stuff, downstairs. Mystery box. Wanna go check it out?"

The mere thought of food has his stomach growling. "Fuck yeah, that sounds amazing," he groans. "Lemme just go to the bathroom real quick, I'll meet you downstairs."

It's with no small amount of reluctance that he untangles himself from their embrace. The air in the bedroom still carries the nighttime chill, leaving him with a mild shiver as he tracks down his clothes from yesterday. Everything's strewn about everywhere, leaving him to search entirely in the buff, which he does with only a small degree of self consciousness. Benrey's seen it all by now, and for some reason, they like what they see despite all the layers of fat and hair.

Finally locating his clothes, he snags them up, turning to where Benrey's lounging luxuriously on the bed, their head tilted and eyes fixated on him. The sight of them with their gaze raking over his body has him growing warmer, discreetly moving his shirt to cover up the hardness between his thighs.

Still, he takes the time to give them one last kiss before venturing into the ensuite bathroom. There's a bit of a mess left over from yesterday, bottles scattered all over the rim of the tub where traces of the bath bomb cling to the porcelain, with used towels strewn about the floor. Gordon nearly bends to start tidying the place up, but stops just shorot. Who cares if it's messy? They're not staying forever, and the owners are probably dead anyway.

That last thought sends a pang of guilt and melancholy through him. It's far too easy to forget the hell raging just outside these walls, when he's surrounded by such a sense of domesticity and love.

But he can't linger on things like that. All he can do now is focus on surviving.

Going through his morning routine, he brushes his teeth and hair before taking the time to moisturize. There's a reason to keep his skin feeling and smelling nice now that Benrey's around to enjoy it. Although they don't seem especially pressed by filth, willing to all-but devour him regardless of how he smells.

Before leaving the bathroom, he contemplates shaving, but decides against it. He's growing a halfway decent apocalypse beard, and it makes him feel more mature, if he's honest.

Now redressed and washed up, he steps out into the hallway leading to the stairwell. As he does, he's hit with this sense of deja vu. The sunlight, the bustling sounds coming from the kitchen, it's all so achingly familiar, yet he can't put his finger on why. The feeling only grows more powerful as the kitchen comes into view, appearing like two images overlapping each other. Benrey is sat at the kitchen table with a glass of lemonade, their Switch in hand. At the stove, he sees… he blinks, his dreamlike vision slipping through his fingers to reveal a sight that has his eyes bugging out.

"Benrey," he starts, doing his best to keep the alarm out of his voice. "Why… is the skeleton wearing an apron?"

There's nothing wrong with this image, but it's still bizarre watching what's essentially a living halloween decoration flutter about the kitchen wearing a frilly black leather apron with studs on the straps. This is weird even for Benrey.

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, setting the game down just to reach for their lemonade. "Uh, it's like…"

- ♡ -

That morning, Benrey woke from their dreamless sleep to a familiar sight. The sun was shining in through the bay window, highlighting the skeleton sitting politely in the windowsil. It stared off into space before returning Benrey's gaze, though they'd taken that moment to look away, disregarding the pile of calcium for now. No, they'd rather focus on Gordon.

Running their hand through his hair, they looked down upon his peacefully slumbering face with adoration. After the mess that was yesterday, they're left with the need to do something nice for him. Make the day easy, remind him how to have fun and not stress the fuck out all the time. A brownie each should be fine at breakfast—the skeleton had put them away, so they're still good—and then…

Well, Benrey would have liked to say they'd get up and prepare a meal for Gordon, one that'll be ready by the time he gets up. Maybe even venture into the rest of the neighborhood to loot more supplies, since there's not a lot left in the fridge. It's quite early, Gordon could sleep in.

But that's the exact thing he asked them not to do. The thing is, there's no real reason to do it themself—when they double checked their minimap, they could see the neighborhood consisted of nothing more threatening than what a skeleton could handle. And so Benrey formed a list of tasks in their head, causing the skeleton to go from sitting to suddenly standing with no transition, floating backwards through the wall and out of sight.

From there, all they had to do was wait for Gordon to get up. And once he did, Benrey laid there, posed glamorously on their side with their robe hanging sensuously off their shoulder, watching him. His fantastic ass was on display, cock fattening up between his thighs, and Benrey couldn't help but stare, running their tongue across their lips. But Gordon hadn't drawn attention to it, which meant he wasn't in the mood to do anything about the cute lil' problem between his legs. Though honestly, despite the sight of Gordon's bare, aroused body stretching and bending, Benrey wasn't in the mood to pursue it any farther either. They settled for a show instead.

The show ended pretty quick, though, as Gordon headed into the bathroom where Benrey could hardly see him anymore. Clicking their tongue, they stretched out their limbs, loudly popping joints with a groan before getting out of bed themself. Dressing was a quick, mechanical process, and with nothing else to tend to in the morning Benrey went downstairs without much thought, running their hand over the braid Gordon made them as they wondered what it looks like in a mirror.

Downstairs, they found the skeleton stocking the kitchen from a black satchel with silver buckles that looked like something out of a vintage anime. A frilly black apron was wrapped around its skeletal frame, the leather straps that kept the apron in place pulled as tight as possible. Benrey slapped the skeleton on the tailbone with a whistling green melody.

"Fuckin' sick as hell dude," Benrey told the skeleton, who paused in putting things into the fridge in order to hum green to blue back at them. "You got to uhhh. Helena's Secret or what." They laughed at their own joke, as the skeleton hummed green like it also found their joke funny.

Digging through the fridge, Benrey grabbed a brownie to stuff into their mouth first thing, no longer hidden behind rotten milk and other such things. All that spoiled shit had gotten tossed, and there's bottles of soda, juice, and all other sorts of other things stocking the shelves, with the brownie tray set out prominently on the middle shelf. The skeleton had ushered them away from the kitchen at that point, into a seat at the table where it had proceeded to pour Benrey a glass of lemonade with exactly three ice cubes.

"Dope. Thanks bro, skelebro," Benrey had said with a gross chuckle, sipping their juice before they got out their Switch to continue Breath of the Wild. That left the skeleton to do all the work, stocking the kitchen with food and cleaning up along the way.

- ♡ -

"…It's fashion," Benrey says, summing up the morning's events from their side of things.

Keeping his eyes on the skeleton, Gordon plops down into the seat beside Benrey. "Please tell me they're not also cooking us breakfast," he says. There's something incredibly unsettling about being served food by a member of the undead, if it could even be called such.

"Uh. No," Benrey answers, oblivious to Gordon's wary leering at the skeleton. Despite the tension the pile of bones brings, when they lean their head on his shoulder, he can't help but melt into them with a relaxed sigh, staring down at the console they've angled his way. Currently, they're attempting to Skyrim-hop their way up a mountain, with mixed success. "Just did a lil' shoppy. Cooking Mama, Me and You edition. You wanna?"

Cooking a meal together with Benrey sounds really nice, a little slice of domestic life in the middle of the apocalypse. "Sure, I'd love that," he says with a fond smile.

That sense of peace lasts all of a few seconds before the sight of the skeleton sliding into the seat across from him has him flinching, a chill going up his spine at the sight of those empty eye sockets staring right at him. As Benrey puts their Switch away and gets up, Gordon scurries after them, eager to get away from the skeleton. It isn't until he sees Benrey's several arms and eyes fastening the leather apron around their torso that he realizes the skeleton isn't wearing it anymore. Little too distracted to figure that out beforehand.

Heading into the kitchen, Gordon finds a green apron hung up on a rack and puts it on before fishing out a hair tie to pull his hair back with. As he does so, he watches Benrey dig through cabinets, admiring the way they look with their hair pulled back into a braid. This way, he can see so much more of their face, from their sharp cheekbones to their long, slender neck.

Catching a glimpse of their nape brings back memories from yesterday, when Gordon had sunk his teeth into their flesh. At some point, he wants to explore the reaction they'd had in greater depth, and for a moment he indulges in a fantasy of bending Benrey over the kitchen table, biting their neck and fucking them while they're in nothing but that ridiculous frilly apron. But the second he looks over to said table, he spots the skeleton, and his arousal evaporates.

With a shudder, he turns away, following Benrey into the kitchen. "What've we got to work with?" he asks them.

His question has Benrey looking away from their pilfering, doing a double take at him before openly ogling his body. "Whoa. Dilf," they mutter, followed quickly by "Nice," as they turn back to their supplies. Gordon stops halfway through rolling up his sleeves to snort a laugh at their comment.

"It's the beard, isn't it?" he says. "Knew it made me look older. Nice to know you're into it."

"We got a school," Benrey says, gesturing to the freezer. With a frown, Gordon sets off to investigate, finding Benrey's cooler which they've somehow crammed into the freezer. Inside are the fish they must have caught yesterday. But that'll take too long to defrost, and Gordon's rumbling stomach is getting impatient. Moving on, he finds a surprising amount of fresh produce, plus canned goods they'd better save.

"Ever had french toast before?" he asks, digging through the cabinets in search of cookware. "It's not too hard to make, and tasty as fuck. We can have it with some fruit on the side since there's no whipped cream." 

"Whassat?" they ask, following Gordon around the kitchen like a curious child "helping" their father prepare breakfast. They get their answer as Gordon gets everything ready, explaining each step of the process and allowing them to help out.

There's something deeply romantic about cooking breakfast together, even though Gordon does most of the work and Benrey merely follows his instructions. Though they're unexpectedly well behaved during it. Sure, he has to stop them from eating an egg whole and licking the ground cinnamon out of the bottle, but that's about it, which is a lot less than he anticipated. Maybe he shouldn't be so surprised. They did make a mean fish stew yesterday, based only on an old tale he told them over a roaring fire.

He shows Benrey how to crack an egg, watching as they replicate it perfectly, taking him by surprise. That surprise only amplifies when he shows them how to peel and cut some fruit, and they flawlessly copy his example. Though his curiosity is piqued, he doesn't comment, instead hand feeding them small bits of fruit to see which they like best, pink sweet voice drifting out of their mouth to match the warm feeling blooming in Gordon's chest.

Before long, they've got two plates stacked with french toast, topped with butter, maple syrup, and a side of assorted fruit. The sight of the finished meals has Benrey clapping, coaxing a chuckle out of Gordon before he ushers them back to the table. Here, Gordon barely waits longer than it takes to sit before he's digging in, stomach roaring form hunger and mouth watering from the smell. As he does, Benrey stares at him, their eyes big with curiosity.

"Damn," he says with a big smile once he's gotten a bite down. "Good job, Ben." He gently knocks his shoulder into Benrey's. "Keep this up, we'll make a proper chef out of you after all." His praise has their face lighting up, eyes big and sparkling.

From the looks of it, Benrey only needs a demonstration to be able to replicate something, a skill Gordon really wishes he had. He's always needed a lot of training to get good at things. Luckily, Aunt Daisy made sure he got some practice with cooking early on, helping her cook from up on his step stool in her kitchen.

- ♡ -

Watching Gordon dig in gets Benrey extra excited to taste the meal laid out before them. Having no sense of hunger, at least not like a human does, there's nothing compelling them to go at it save for the incredible aroma wafting off of the dish. Though they have to watch him first, unsure how to tackle such a sticky meal.

Once they've cut off a piece and neatly stuffed it inside their mouth, their face lights up at the taste. Most of what's graced their taste buds throughout their life has been fruit flavors, which the sweet voice closely resembles. Brown and white can have other tastes sometimes, chocolate, cinnamon, caramel, vanilla—but those emotions come very rarely to them, and the treats Tommy shares tend to be of the fruity variety.

There's the downside of the syrup being horribly sticky, but it's so fucking delicious they couldn't possibly care enough to stop or slow down. The bread is soft with a delightfully sweet-spicy taste, and Benrey finds themself too enamored with it and dragging it around to scoop up all the syrup to even touch the fruit.

They savor every bite as they work their way through the stack, gently swinging their legs back and forth under the table. It's so delicious and flavorful they could cry—Black Mesa never had fresh food, the best Benrey ever got was their birthday cakes and some Valentine's chocolate from Tommy. Even though both were high quality, there's something extra special about this meal, which has them growing emotional. By the time they're done eating their eyes are watering and the second they open their mouth a flood of pink and white escapes them.

"Thanks," Benrey says, voice completely normal despite everything else about them. What they're thanking Gordon for, exactly, isn't clear. Maybe everything. "Thank you."

A soft gasp escapes Gordon, and he turns to pull them against his chest, where they melt into his embrace, hands grasping onto the back of his shirt. From where their face is buried against his ample chest, their sweet voice becomes a bright cyan. Everything feels like so much right now, even though it's just toast with eggs and cinnamon. But it's better than feeling nothing at all.

Maybe hurt can be good? This hurts a little, but they're just so happy—overjoyed, even, from everything they've experienced since finally getting out. And Gordon keeps promising them more, how can they not want to latch onto him like a leech, or some kind of parasite floating around in his blood? Their hands run through his hair, cyan swiftly soothed down to a gentle pink.

- ♡ -

Gordon can't stop from glancing at Benrey while they eat, delighted by how much they seem to enjoy it. Being confined to Black Mesa's dorms, they couldn't have gotten much in the way of home cooked meals. It's written all over Benrey's face, the way their eyes light up, slowly savoring every bite. It all makes Gordon terribly soft inside, the urge to scoop them up in his arms growing stronger by the minute. That feeling overflows when Benrey thanks him with tears in their eyes, a gasp escaping him at the sight. Leaning down, he envelops them in his arms, pulling them tight against his chest. 

"Of course, any time, babe," he says. "We're gonna cook so much food, all kinds. We'll raid a bunch of stores, pick up spices and shit. It's—We're…"

Already, Gordon is putting together mental lists of things they can cook, things they can learn to cook together. This place must have a cookbook or two, right? He'll snatch up every single one so they can look at them together, cuddled up in the back of the van with all the pillows and blankets they'll pilfer from this place. It'll be their little nest, a soft and safe place to return to during their travels.

The thought makes him giddy, pressing a kiss to their temple as his smile grows wide. "Anything you want, I'll give you… somehow," he promises.

Pulling back, he glances up at the clock hanging on the wall nearby. It's a little past nine in the morning. They should start taking whatever they want and get going, but… would it be so bad to stay a little longer? Play some video games, fuck some more, have another bath. The thought is tempting.

"What do you wanna do now?" he asks Benrey, as they cuddle up against his chest. "Stay a while? Get what we want from here and get on the road? I'm up for whatever." As long as I'm doing it with you, Gordon adds in his head, not wanting to sound too cheesy.

Tilting their head up, Benrey looks up near his eyes with a strangely uncertain expression. "You're asking me?" they mumble, voice unexpectedly soft and subdued. "Thought… you're the leader?"

Aiming a gentle smile their way, Gordon strokes his hand over their hair. "Nah, man," he says. "Not anymore. We're a pair, now, we make the decisions together."

Their eyes grow bigger and more dilated at his words, filled with an almost cartoonish sort of awe, before flicking off to the side in thought. Laying their head back against his chest, they hum a stream of grey bubbles, while Gordon continues to hold them and pet their hair.

"Wan…na stay," Benrey slowly articulates. "Got… stocked kitchen, bro. All that effort? Chill a while. Get high with me again, could, uh, go out. Shopping center… CDs? LinkedIn Park, know you love that shit, hear you humming. S'like, uh, practical, more preppy-d for Big Gay Roadtrip, uh, later. Blast A Place For My Head on the road."

Hearing Benrey express a desire to stay makes Gordon feel so much better for wanting the same. Since the Resonance Cascade, he hasn't had much opportunity for restful sleep. The closest he ever got was the day they spent at the campground, but that was packed with loads of traumatic stuff, so it doesn't count. But here? Here, everything is good. Tasty food, warm baths, a soft bed, plenty of stuff to do including a myriad of surfaces he'd love to fuck or get fucked on. Add to that the weed brownies, and this place is paradise.

Which is why he'd rather not go outside, as Benrey suggests. Even with them around to protect him, he'd still have to confront the horrors of the world. All those people… the pictures hanging in the hallway of this very house flash to the forefront of his mind. A happy family. A small zombie with red sandals. His son… The thought nearly makes his stomach turn, and he buries his face in Benrey's hair, inhaling their sweet scent to calm his racing heart.

Once he feels calm again, he says, "I'd love that. But why don't we stay inside for now? Besides, I think they stopped making Hybrid Theory CDs, like, ten years ago." Leaning back, he lowers his arms around Benrey's waist, hoisting them up into his lap as they make a little wah! sound, throwing their arms around his neck and getting comfy in his lap. Lowering his voice, he adds, "I'd rather hear you sing, anyway."

They drift closer to one another, noses brushing. Benrey's eyes are blazing and intense, their lips glistening with a slight pink tint as they draw their forked tongue over them. This is all Gordon needs right now, a distraction from his intrusive thoughts. They could get high, play some video games, fuck until they both can't think anymore.

The sweet taste of Benrey's lips is nearly within his grasp when a flash of white in the corner of his vision has him flinching away. The skeleton is still sitting across from them; somehow, he'd forgotten about them, but now that he's noticed their empty eye sockets boring into his soul, he can't put it out of his mind.

"Uh… Do they—Do they need to be here? I mean, it's kinda… little weird kissing you when they… stare… at… us…" Gordon's voice trails off as the skeleton leans forward, arms folded on the table, watching them with great interest. "Okay, now they're doing it on purpose!" he exclaims, jabbing an accusatory finger at them. "Benrey, please, what the fuck is up with the skeletons? And don't tell me 'they're cool' or 'they're with me', I wanna know what their deal is."

His reaction has Benrey falling forward against his shoulder, a loud, ugly cackle ripping out of them. Once they've composed themself, they sit back, running their hands through his ponytail.

"Not with me. IS me, dummy," Benrey says, reaching up to poke Gordon in the center of his forehead. He blinks up at them, stunned. "Only got the one 'cuz you killed the rest. Xen got me all blowed up, this what you get. One death one skeleton. We're like bees, uh, the mind, Geth… uh. Mitosis. Powerhouse of the cell. Like if I cut off my arm annnnnn—uhhhh like if I cut off my HAIR and it became a creacher. Still me though."

Gordon stares at Benrey, then at the skeleton, then back at Benrey.

"No… wait… hold up!" he exclaims, flailing as he tries to support Benrey while pointing between them and the skeleton, or… them and themself? "Are you trying to tell me that, that," he waves wildly at the skeleton, just for it to daintily wave back, "Is what happens when you die? How… why… wait!" A realization both horrifying and fascinating pops into his head. "Is that what happens to your body when you die? It turns into a skeleton? Which… you control? Is it still you in there, or do they have a mind of their own? Is this why they—you—keep fucking with me?"

He can't stop the questions from coming, not even as Benrey's eyes glaze over and teal starts drifting out of their mouth like cartoonish puffs from a chimney. At the end of the day, Gordon is a scientist, and this is a total upheaval of his understanding of the world. Not that questioning everything he thought he knew isn't something he's been doing since the Resonance Cascade, but this feels personal, somehow. For instance, if the skeleton is Benrey, does that mean it has the hots for him?! Though he doesn't voice that question, it does ping pong around in his head, unable to leave him.

"I think I'm freaking out a bit," Gordon admits, pressing his fingers into his temple. "Do we have any brownies left? I think I'll handle this better if I'm high."

"Huh? Yeah, bro, plenty," Benrey says, leaning in to kiss his cheek before clumsily climbing back to their feet. "Meet me in live room please?" Though clearly intending to go get the brownies, they stand around petting his hair for an enormous length of time before actually doing so. Not that he's complaining. The repetitive motions help calm him down, so he doesn't feel their absence as strongly when they stumble into the kitchen to fetch the tray from the fridge.

Raising up from the table, Gordon staggers into the living room, where he drops onto the couch, and does his best to relax. Then there's a flash of white in his periphery, and he flinches at the sight of the skeleton sitting cross-legged atop the TV in front of him. Their hollow gaze is focused on him, a shiver going up his spine as one thing echoes in his mind; Does the skeleton have the hots for me?!

That's when Benrey returns from the kitchen, placing the brownies and their glass of lemonade down onto the coffee table before sitting in front of the TV. While they're busy with that, Gordon snatches up a brownie, frantically stuffing it into his mouth and stealing a sip of Benrey's lemonade to wash it down. Not the best taste wise, but that's the least of his worries at the moment.

Once Benrey's done setting up a movie, they plop down onto the couch, grabbing a brownie of their own despite the fact Gordon knows they've already had one today. As they munch, they grab the remote to turn the movie on, but Gordon can't focus on that when his eyes keep slipping up towards the skeleton. They just… keep staring at him. Unable to take it anymore, he tugs at Benrey's sleeve.

"Benrey," Gordon says, his voice wavering slightly as he maintains a staring contest with the skeleton. "Can they—you—the skeleton… can they, I mean you… It's distracting, okay?! Can it be just the two of us right now? Is that mean?"

Anxiety blooms in Gordon's chest as the words leave his mouth. The last thing he wants to do is insult Benrey, or make it feel like he's dismissing a vital part of them. This is all Benrey, he needs to remember that. But this part is just… a lot harder to accept. At least with the tentacles and other monster-y bits, he could think of them like a pop up book. Now there's some leftover halloween decorations in the way, and it makes reading the book much harder.

Yellow eyes drift across the living room to rest on the skeleton, who has gone from fixating on Gordon to returning Benrey's gaze. The moment those empty sockets are no longer staring at him, Gordon relaxes considerably. For the next few seconds, nothing appears to happen, until suddenly the skeleton has gone from sitting to standing in the blink of an eye, shuffling over to the armchair to pick up their satchel. Once it's slung over their shoulders, they vanish.

"Good?" Benrey asks, tilting their head up to look at Gordon.

Exhaling a slow sigh, Gordon nods, scooting over and sinking lower down the couch so he can rest his head on Benrey's shoulder. "Yeah," he says. "Thanks, Ben."

Benrey gives a soft hum of assent. "Lemme know when you're at max HP or whatever," they say, winding their arm around his back.

Now Gordon can finally focus on the movie. Once the opening logos have passed by and a scene fades into view on screen, a snicker escapes Gordon's mouth. It's The Grinch. Of all things, he hadn't expected to see that pop up on screen, but he won't complain. It's a much easier watch than the violent horror Benrey's into. Something as mindlessly wholesome as a Christmas movie is perfect for helping him calm down.

It's a movie he's especially familiar with, as well. It was always playing in his apartment around Christmas time. He was always more fond of Jim Carrey's version more than the original cartoon, which would probably get his head chopped off if uttered in the wrong crowd. But it's not Gordon's fault the old cartoon gave him nightmares as a child, nor that Jim Carrey's antics always made him laugh. 

While watching the flick, his hand wanders over Benrey's leg, finding their hand not currently wrapped around his back and intertwining their fingers together. Like this, he rubs his thumb over the back of Benrey's hand, a mirror of what they'd done to him yesterday night. Though holding hands might be a bit overkill, Gordon has still decided that hand holding is now their thing while watching movies.

The weed must have kicked in, as he's no longer second guessing every decision. If he wants to hold Benrey's hand, then he will. And if he wants to nuzzle into their neck and press kisses to their skin, he will. So he does, and it's with a sense of delight that he spots the marks he'd sucked into their skin yesterday. Which means, Benrey's kept them there on purpose. That fact causes a gleeful little giggle to escape him, and he decides to add another one at an unmarked spot right below their ear.

Once he's satisfied with the purpling mark he's left on their neck and the gentle purring sound they make in response, he murmurs into their ear, "Think I'm almost at full HP now." It's such a ridiculous way to put it, but Benrey started it. He's just following along. 

A green hum escapes Benrey's mouth, as they turn their head to kiss Gordon's temple. There, they rest their head, watching the movie for a few moments longer before speaking up, their voice a low mumble.

"You… 'member your questions? 'Cuzzzz… I did," they say, speaking noticeably slower than usual. Their cheek rubs against his hair every now and then. "Lesse… oh, yeah. When I get merked it makes a skellyman. They're like, like, uhhh… robot. Got me in they, skull. Not brain. Don't got one'a those anymore."

Benrey laughs, though Gordon isn't sure what's funny. They're doing a decent job at explaining, as good as could be expected from someone with such a limited vocabulary who also happens to be high. His brain is working laggardly as well, struggling to form a theory that'll make everything they're saying click into place for him. But it feels like, no matter how much they tell him, he's still missing vital pieces of the puzzle.

With an extra arm, Benrey takes a swig of their lemonade.

"Skellies got my… personality. Sort of. Basic," Benrey continues, rubbing the rim of their lemonade glass on their bottom lip, where they can keep smelling it. "Does what I want 'em to, 'cuz, they want what I want. Since we're the same person 'n all. Can't hurt their feelings, though, can only hurt, my feelings, our feelings. Not the other way 'round. S'why I say, it's me." They trail off then, before suddenly blurting out, "They're not the me you killed on Xen. It's… same bones, but I'm—I'm the only one. Does that, make sense?"

Furrowing his brow, Gordon continues stroking their hand, the connection keeping him grounded so he won't float away on his scientific musings.

"I think—Maybe… But is it more of a clone, or a sentinel situation? You said something about a hive mind earlier, does that mean that they at least partially have their own will, or do you," he waves his free hand towards Benrey's head, "Control everything they do? Like—Like, yesterday the skeleton hid in a closet upstairs and scared the shit out of me. Laughed at me and everything. Was that you who made them do that or did they do it because it's something you would do?"

Gordon's actually pretty proud of himself for managing to formulate such a coherent hypothesis when his mind is moving so lethargically. Depending on Benrey's answer, it'll also make certain aspects of what they say more or less weird. They want what I want is what they'd said, and Gordon is very aware of what Benrey wants. If it's like their extra eyes and arms, then that's something he can learn to deal with. But if the skeleton operates on a Benrey OS but has its own AI, that's… that's more like having another person involved, even if that person is a carbon copy of his boyfriend, and it… complicates things. 

Benrey's tongue runs over their teeth, prodding at the sharp tips as they think through their answer. It takes them a while, and with the weed slowing everything down, the wait feels like an eternity.

"Uh… well I can tell them what to do but I kinda… not like a drill sergeant or nuthin'," Benrey explains. "Jus' kinda, want real bad and they go do it. But. I don't pay attention to them all the time so they just do whatever. Nothing I don't want them to do so they're not gonna hurt you. Didn't tell 'em to prank you but I knew they were going to. S'like The Sims and I'm God." They laugh at this, too, oblivious to the inner crisis their words are sending Gordon down. "Lil' rascal."

If that's how the skeleton works, then why are they always looking at him so intensely? A shudder wracks Gordon's body, and he huddles closer to Benrey, teeth working at his bottom lip. As he looks up at them, his eyes are a bit wild, panic seeping through the heavy blanket weed puts over his brain.

"Is—Is that's why they're staring at me? Benrey…" he lowers his voice, like he's afraid the skeleton will overhear. "…Does the skeleton have the hots for me?"

A slightly panicked laugh escapes him after he's uttered those words, hand coming up to slap over his mouth. That's insane, right? That can't be how it works… RIGHT?!

"Huh? Yeah." 

A high pitched sound somewhere between a squeal and a scream escapes Gordon. His cheeks are bright red as Benrey reaches up to stroke them, probably radiating enough heat to burn.

"Uh, pennies?" Benrey asks. "Pennies, sir?"

Gordon takes a deep breath, struggling to contain himself. "Benrey… babe… you just told me the skeleton following us around wants to fuck me. You can't expect me not to get a little freaked out by that. Oh… Oh, god, was it watching us? When we were at the lake?" Humiliated, he buries his burning face into Benrey's should with a low whine. "Benreeeeeyyyy…" he whines into their shirt.

"What?" Benrey asks, and Gordon can hear the lazy grin spreading across their lips.

"This is weird, this is so weird! And that's coming from the guy who likes getting stuffed by tentacles! Like how would it even work? Would they use a strap? Shove a pocket pussy up their pelvis bone?!" 

That last question is what finally breaks him. It starts as another panicked giggle that soon grows to a wheezing fit of laughter. A soft "Huh?" escapes Benrey before they're laughing too, erupting into an even uglier, louder cackle than they normally manage, easily trumping Gordon in volume. They clutch onto each other, laughing until there's tears streaming down Gordon's face and green is streaming out of Benrey's mouth between breaths.

"A STRAP!" Benrey yells. "Fuuuahh—fuu—ahHAHHYEHHEH—'M sure you could—could sensually stroke they bones but uh—hhhhahah—think wants you ta—hold their hand or kiss their skull or something. Or you could fuck me. They're gettin' my cummies over a wireless connection."

"You—Hhhhhhhh… you fucking dhh—Do not hhhaaahhhaa… Oh my god, you share orgasms?!" Instantly, Gordon's brain tries to conceptualize what that would look like, but all he can see is them disintegrating into a pile of bones, xylophone sound and all, which only serves to make him laugh twice as hard.

"Pfft—hahhah, YEAH we do!" Benrey excitedly declares. "CONGRATS, you fucked the skeleton, by fucking ME! HA! IDIOT!"

"I'm not a—ffffhhhhh—Noooo! I'm not a skeleton fucker!"

Though following Benrey's logic, he apparently is. Crazy as it is, that calms him down a little, knowing the skeleton isn't about to crawl into bed with them. If they behave, they might even earn themself a kiss smack dab in the middle of their bony forehead.

"What, so no threesome?" Benrey quips, shaking with the force of their barely contained giggling. "Not gonna give a bro a bonejob? Take 'em to the bonezone? They're so bone-ly without you bro—" Their horrible puns are cut off by Gordon's lips closing over theirs, coaxing a soft noise out of them.

Pulling back with a big grin on his face, Gordon says, "So what you're saying is, if I give them a kiss every now and then, and keep making you cum your brains out several times a day, I get a skeleton butler? Because that's a perk I did not expect when I let you stuff me full of tentacles." He sighs, "Man, you're really the whole kit, huh?"

Benrey's head nods in tiny, slow increments as Gordon speaks. "Uhhh… uh-huh. Come with, dlc included bro. Whole pack-idge." They lean forward, pressing their lips to his. "Might uhhh, find the holy grail sometime soon if you, uh, if you back up that promise y'know what I'm sayin'. Insert coins into my machine for extra time on the clock. Got microtransactions paid for in jizz and kissies bro. Pay up."

Gordon raises a brow. "Oh, you got more stuff hidden away in there?" He gives Benrey's stomach a poke, letting his finger travel up until he can slide his hand behind their neck, coaxing a shiver out of them. Pressing their foreheads together, Gordon teasingly breathes his next words inches away from Benrey's lips. "So, how much jizz and kisses for the DLC then, huh? Gotta give me a menu, man, need to know what I'm paying for." 

A lazy grin spreads across Benrey's face as Gordon speaks. Sliding their tongue between their lips, they pause, a thoughtful expression falling over them before they speak up. "Got a lot," they say, gaze focused on Gordon's lips. They tilt their head to one side, shifting to sit up and face Gordon fully. "Get a DP on, dick and tenty at the same time. Get real big and put you in my mouth. 'Cept, uh, don't fit in here, so, have to go outside for that one. Got… some sweet voice to play with. Instant cummies, instant boner, do that over and over. Or you could stuff my mouth and make me eat it, same thing. Could phase my hand through you, some fully clothed pro-state action. Or…"

Gordon's mind is reeling, struggling to keep up with each and every one of Benrey's suggestions. He gets so stuck on the thought of their tentacle writhing around their dick inside him that he almost misses what they say next.

"Did you know I can smell your fear?" Benrey continues after a notable pause. "Track you down and ravage you if you're into that shit, sexy, spooky hide and seek. Hold you down with a bunch of arms, bite you until you bleed, make you my bitch. Turn into, shadow creature haunting the walls, never see me coming. Latch onto you, buncha tenties, drag you towards me and… well, spoilers."

Benrey looks away, towards the TV where the movie has reached the end credits. Feels like it was halfway through only a few minutes ago, but also an eternity ago. "Also got mind control," they add.

A gasp tears out of Gordon's throat at their final suggestion, his breaths going heavy. Sub space has been wonderful already, falling into a space where he doesn't have to think, only feel. Would that be similar, or totally different? What level of awareness would he possess? How mindless could he get? All questions he intends to find answers for.

Sitting up properly, Gordon swings his legs over Benrey's, where their hands raise to rest over his thighs, watching him curiously. "Tell me more about the mind control," he says. "What would I have to do…" he draws a finger up along their cheek, their glowing eyes following its trajectory with a slight delay. "…To get a taste of that?"

Gordon watches their throat bob as they swallow, eyes flicking from his hand to his face as they lean into his palm. "Jus'… say the word," they breathe. "It's… sweet voice, you gotta eat it and then… but we should—I need you to tell me what you don't want, hard limits. Please?"

They're too precious, thinking about his limits and shit. As if Gordon hasn't already done plenty, as if he hasn't given himself up to them heart and soul.

Although, that might just be the weed talking. When properly taking it into consideration, Gordon realizes there are actually a few things he'd rather avoid. It's actually quite sweet that Benrey thought of his limits when he wouldn't even do that for himself. Love bubbles over in Gordon's chest, and he leans down to kiss them, thinking over his answer while sucking on their bottom lip, their hands twitching against his thighs.

After releasing their mouth with a wet sound, he says, "No big injuries. Biting and scratching is fine, but nothing more." He pauses, resting his chin on Benrey's shoulder. "No going outside either. It's… I don't want to do that… yet." Explaining any further would be a bummer, and he doesn't want to ruin the mood. "And… uh, no skeleton. Just me and you, okay?"

"Yeah. Yes," Benrey scrambles to say. He feels one of their hands on his arm, thumb rubbing over his bicep through the fabric of his shirt.

"And… can you make it so I can use a safeword? Stoplights or something. I can't come up with anything else, but you're more inventive than me." And more experienced if Benrey's tried all that stuff they suggested.

"Okay," Benrey drawls. "Stoplights, tried and true. Not broken don't fix." They give a single slow nod, before raising their hands to grab onto Gordon's face, tilting their head as they press their thumb into his lip. "'S, taste bad and kinda fast so—uh here we go."

Chapter Text

Hesitating only a moment longer, Benrey leans in towards Gordon's lips, stopping just short of kissing him. With a low, bassy hum they flood his mouth with a charcoal black sweet voice that tastes strongly of black licorice, filling him with enough to last about an hour before they lean back. With his face held in both their hands, they stroke over his cheeks with their thumbs, watching his eyes glaze over and pupils dilate until they're more black than green. His body relaxes, about as loose as a person could get without flopping over and ragdolling to the ground. Even his hand falls down from where it had rested against their cheek, now laid limp in his lap.

"Gordon?" Benrey says, slowly moving their hands down towards his neck, where they can feel his pulse flutter steadily against their palm. His gaze rests solely on them, fixated entirely. "Tell Benrey how you feel, please?"

The answer tumbles out of Gordon's lips without hesitation, speaking with a drowsy monotone that reminds them of when they'd used this in an attempt to get his passport. Except, this is far from the answer he'd have given them then.

"I feel horny," he says, point blank taking Benrey out in a single shot.

"Whoa," they breathe, observing him with a sense of awe. "Damn. Fuck, okay. You—You, uh, you look real good right now, bet you're feelin' good too. No thoughts, head empty. Nothin' but good vibes."

It takes a moment for Benrey to figure out what they want to do first, feeling like a kid in a candy store as they mull over the possibilities, their mind sluggish from the weed. In the process, they nearly forget the most important part.

"Gordon," Benrey says, shifting their legs as they face him more fully. "If you hurt, or wanna stop for any reason, say 'red'. If you wanna slow down, say 'yellow'. If I ask how you feel and you're doin' okay, say 'green'. Now tell me what the colors mean."

Because they know he's going to do as they demand, Benrey sits up, pushing Gordon until he's laid back against the armrest behind him. He looks so pretty staring up at them all dazed and suggestible, completely at the mercy of their whims. "And," they add, pausing as they take an unsteady breath, arousal trailing down their spine. "Call me sir. It's yes, sir, Benrey, sir, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Gordon immediately parrots. "Red means stop, yellow means slow down, and green means keep going."

Benrey sucks in a breath. "Fuck," they breathe, reaching down to palm at the erection straining the fabric of their black jeans, a shiver rolling down their spine. "Jesus Christ, Gordon." This is surreal. Never in their life would they expect Gordon to be so obedient, so docile. Recently they've known him to be a dorky, stressed out hothead. Yes, one with the ability to submit fully and willingly, but this is different. They're not doing a single thing to him and he's more calm than they've ever seen him.

"Don't… don't cum unless I tell you to," Benrey tells him, pulling their hand off themself. They move back to their side of the couch, laying back with their legs bent in front of them, watching him. "Relax, and… touch yourself. Gotta let me hear you, too, all those pretty sounds you got locked up in there."

"Yes, sir," Gordon obediently replies, his hand seeking out the bulge in his pants like a magnet to steel. An odd noise escapes Benrey as they watch his hand wrap around the outline of his cock through his pale green sweatpants, quieter than the grunt that tears out of Gordon's throat at the contact. The sound of him makes them whimper, melting into the pillows behind them and spreading their legs.

It doesn't stop there—they watch as he reaches up under his shirt, groping the soft flesh of his chest and pinching his nipple. Benrey's cock jumps, eyes widening as they watch the pleasure overtake his expression. This is… whoa. This is what Gordon Freeman looks like when he's jacking off. What he does when he's pleasuring himself. His breaths grow heavy, chest heaving and mouth hanging open on a groan, his eyes never once leaving Benrey. That kind of attention while he's busy groping himself is a lot to handle, sending heat crashing over Benrey's body.

"Fuck, Gordon," they breathe, the sight of him sending a thrill through their body that rests heavy between their legs, skin prickling with heat. "You look so good, so pretty… hey, spread your legs. Take your cock out while you're at it, wanna see it."

Their command snaps Gordon into action, rushing to tug open the drawstring on his pants so he can tug them down far enough to free his swollen cock, flushed and sticky with precum. The sight drags a moan out of Benrey's throat. They haven't had a lot of opportunity to stare at Gordon's dick before, but they take the chance to now, from its flushed red tip to the way it curves upwards, their own cock pulsing at the sight of it.

"Mmmhhhohh my god. Fuck," Benrey groans, rushing to do the same. Their pants are a little trickier, got a belt and everything, and they fumble over all of it with their attention primarily focused on Gordon, legs spread wide and stroking his fat cock for their viewing pleasure. His moans grow higher, needier, like he's trying to kill them, or something.

Benrey's eyes trail up over his waist, admiring the trail of hairs and the rolls of soft flesh peeking out from under his shirt. Gordon paints such a delectable image, thrusting desperately into the circle of his hand, needier than they've ever seen him. Seeing him so raw, so unguarded and vulnerable, it's intoxicating to watch.

"You should… uh," Benrey breathes, finally getting the belt open on their pants so they can fight with the button and zipper next. A delirious chuckle escapes them as their mind wanders, and they look around for something to play with. "Whuh… hump this pillow," they say, chucking a fairly plain and unexciting blue pillow his way.

It thumps against his chest before dropping into his lap, where he picks it up and places it on the cushion below him, propping himself up so he can lower himself down onto it. He grasps onto the corners, pulling it up to press against his cock as he snaps his hip forward, punching a sound of Benrey's mouth that's somewhere between a moan and a manic laugh. They can do anything! They have so much power right now!

Finally getting their zipper open, Benrey struggles to get their hand inside their briefs with all the grace of an infomercial actor. "Say… say, uh, say, 'I love how your cock feels inside me, Benrey'…"

"I love how your cock feels inside me, Benrey," Gordon recites with a wanton moan that drives Benrey absolutely fucking insane. They let out an incredulous laugh halfway to a breathless moan, staring down at the way his cock leaks all over the pillow they've tossed him, looking so delectable they're tempted to crawl over there and sit on it right here and now. But that's not what this is about, not yet.

Pulling their cock out at long last, they give it a few strokes, the sight of Gordon practically drooling as he makes a pillow his bitch sending powerful bursts of pleasure sparking across their body. Too powerful. They have to tear their hand away before they cum far too early. Damn. All that effort.

"Tell me… tell me how's it feel," Benrey urges, running their hand up over their pelvis to keep themself busy. "In gross detail, every—every little thing, tell me about your cock, Gordon. Reveal your penis experience."

For a moment, all Benrey gets from Gordon are pathetic little whimpers and moans, but that soon turn into a slew of filth that has their body flashing with heat.

“F-Feels… sssso—Oohhh good. It's—feels really good against… uhh… s'rubbing my cock and it—it feels fucking incredible. Especially if I—haahhh—r-rub the head right here. I can feel it all the way to my balls. Can’t—Can’t cum like this though, it’s not enough. Feels so good but I—ffffuuuck—I need m-more.”

"Fuck," Benrey groans, their hand twitching towards their cock before they can stop themself. "You should… uh," They trail off, their mind struggling to form coherent thought. Damn, getting high might've been a bad idea. "Should… pull up your shirt, an'… touch, touch yourself all, sexy and… show off for me."

With a total lack of shame, Gordon does just that, continuing to messily hump the pillow while his hands grasp onto the hem of his shirt, tugging it up over his collar. This, too, marks the first time Benrey's had the opportunity to look at his body really clearly, able to stare for as long as they want while he runs his hands over his torso, caressing, stroking, accentuating every dip and curve. He rubs his nipples as his hands pass by, the act causing him to moan even loader.

It's dizzying to watch. Even hands-off, this is making Benrey's cock drip pale blue pre against their waist, a hand sliding up under their sweatshirt to lazily massage their navel. "Uh… fuck, Gordon," Benrey groans. Their stomach feels tight with arousal, cock aching between their legs. They could easily get off to this, but that would be such a missed opportunity to have Gordon do something really crazy.

That's when it hits them.

"Gordon," Benrey says, pausing to let their rust orange sweet voice wet their suddenly dry mouth. "Huh—Hhh. Hump my leg like a dog. I dare you. You wo—ohhhnn—"

They can barely get the words out before they've got Gordon eagerly crawling over to straddle their leg, grabbing it with his big, strong hands in a place that's very sensitive for them, making them twitch and squirm. He pulls them up against him while grinding down onto their thigh, moaning desperately as he does so. The sight has Benrey letting out some really strange noises, unable to believe what they're seeing.

"Holy—Shit—God, you're… you want it, huh?" Benrey taunts. "Wanna fuck me real bad, huh? You wanna fuck me, Gordon?"

"Yessssss—hhh—Sirrr," Gordon groans. Their breaths are nearly as fast as his, now, the fire burning inside them melting their brain. Their hand glides higher along their chest, leisurely toying with their nipples.

"You wanna make me your bitch? Gonna breed me like—like a dog, huh? Little, little puppy boy, you wanna breed me so bad it makes you look stupid. Wanna stick your puppy cock up my ass, I—I, uh—"

They pause, practically panting despite the fact they're not doing anything, they're just touching their chest while Gordon ruts his cock against their leg, using them to get off just like he used the pillow. They don't know which part of him to focus on; his cute, fat little cock dribbling all over their leg, the blissed out look on his face, or maybe the flushed and hairy pectorals hanging ring in front of their face, nipples hard and tempting to suck into their mouth.

A desperate noise escapes Benrey as their next idea washes over them. "You—You should do it. Roll me over and—" It won't initiate until they're done, but the fact they know it's coming sends a thrill through their body, tense with anticipation. "—Yeet my pants and fuck me like a dog."

A high pitched yelp escapes them as Gordon does just that, grasping onto their arms and wrestling them onto their front. Not that it's hard, they want him to do it. Their stomach does a flip as he pulls their pants off in one clean motion, going so far as to growl as he grabs onto their hips, yanking them against him as they try to grab onto the armrest. His cock slides over their ass, hot and heavy and dripping warm pre against their cleft. They whine, dragging over the bolster pillow they've been holding so much lately and wrapping their arms tightly around it.

"Gordon… ahhh—!" They barely get the syllables out before he's lined himself up and pushed inside. There's no wait, no hesitation, he goes right to the fucking point, slamming into their ass hard and fast, the borderline violent sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air. The shock of pleasure that jolts through them has them trembling and gasping, cock sluggishly dribbling pre against the couch.

As Gordon moves, they can feel his weight against their back, hear his low grunts by their ear, breaths warm against their shoulder. They shake with the force of each thrust that causes their cock to pulse and twitch and rub against the couch cushion, eyes rolling back from the pleasure. "Hahhh—ahhh—Gordon—fffuahhh, fuck, fuckfuck, Gordon, Gordon—"

They can feel every inch of him slamming into them, coating his dick with their slick and sending it dripping out of them. The way his hands grip their thighs is hard enough to leave bruises. It's been awhile since they've felt so used and dirty, and it's mindblowing. Heat floods their mind until all they can think about is Gordon's cock driving them to new heights of pleasure, tongue resting against their lip as their mouth hangs open, rust sweet voice flooding out.

A particularly hard thrust in just the right spot has Benrey seeing stars, crying out in plum sweet voice as their cock pulses, staining the couch cushion beneath them with their pale blue cum. Even as they're left consulving from the force of their orgasm, Gordon doesn't stop, heightening their pleasure to the point of near pain. It's only then that they realize they commanded him not to cum. Which means he can't.

"Ohhh, shit," Benrey groans, their voice wavering as Gordon continues pounding their ass like it owes him money. A delirious laugh escapes them, their body squirming in an attempt to get way from the overwhelming pain/pleasure mix before they remember to use their words. "Stuhhh—hhh, stop… fuck, hold that pose."

Their timing is impeccable, because Gordon halts right when he's buried to the hilt inside them. Though they knew to expect it, it's still a little startling when the brutal fucking they've endured suddenly comes to an end. Exhaling a ragged breath, Benrey sags against the couch, and Gordon goes with them, his torso laid flat against their back where they can feel his chest expand into them as he breathes, panting heavily. A minute is needed just to relax after that, enjoying the feeling of fullness from Gordon's cock resting hard and throbbing inside of them.

Recovery goes much faster for Benrey as someone who isn't human, catching their breath and getting cozy in only a few minutes. They wiggle around a bit, grinning as Gordon groans into their ear. Nice.

"Hey… Gordonnnnn… Tell me you love me," they say, still managing that teenage girl at a slumber party tone despite the weariness and breathlessness of their voice.

"I love you," Gordon says immediately, his voice flooded with a thick, heady arousal and a hint of frustration.

"Oh, yeah? Hhuhhh—Whuh, what do you love about me?"

The response is instantaneous. "Love… huhhhh… love your cock, sir, love how big it is, love how it—f-feels inside me," Gordon says, as Benrey grins wickedly beneath him. "Love your… tentacles, the things they can… do to me… love how you kiss me, fuck me, play with me and… hhhuhhh, how you look doing it. Love how you're a pervert like me, that we both love—weird shit and… love… I love…"

Somehow Benrey hadn't categorized Gordon as a pervert in their mind, despite the tentacles and how quickly he can dip into both submissive and dominant roles. It's reassuring to hear, though. "More, please," Benrey begs when Gordon doesn't immediately continue. This is too good to only settle for that much, for… for nothing but the sexy stuff. Of course that's the first thing on his mind at a time like this, but still!

"Love… I love your laugh," Gordon continues. The fact he'd goes with something as gay as their laugh is putting Benrey through it, pink flowing out of their mouth. "And your smile, and your voice, and how excited you get when—when I show you new things, your eyes light up and… you're so open and—hahhh—Love how safe you make me feel, love sleeping in your arms, love that you're not human, that there's so much of you to love, that you keep letting me discover more of you…"

Hearing him say he loves, specifically, that they aren't human has their claws digging into their pillow, a bundle of emotion brewing in their chest that makes their whole body ache. They exhale a shaky breath before beginning to hum a calming blue.

"I love the… the way you make me feel so alive, like I can breathe again. I love you because you saved me from the brink and continue to save me, love that you let me be here with you even though I'm broken and useless, love when you hold me together when I fall apart, I…"

Benrey inhales sharply. The words useless and broken cut them like glass, the dark blue escaping their mouth sharply shifting to cyan and then red. They react too slowly to stop him before he lets out a stuttered, "Y-Yellow."

"Stop," Benrey says, their voice level despite everything. "Stop—Stop talking. That's—Fuck."

Benrey doesn't know what they're feeling other than the fact that it's a lot, like everything is happening all at once. The intent with their question had been twofold: Benrey wanted to indulge in Gordon saying nice things to them, obviously. The second was that, well, this could be their ticket to knowing with absolute certainty exactly what Gordon wants from them, whether this is all about sex and convenience or something more. He can't lie under the sweet voice's hypnosis effect. There would be no doubt left after that.

Shifting around, Benrey manages to maneuver their way onto their back, legs wrapping around Gordon to keep him pushed deep inside them, where they want him. With their arms coiled around his shoulders, they pull him down against them, holding him tight.

"Love you, Dorkman. I'm…" Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to cut it. Benrey leans forward to press their lips to Gordon's jaw, peppering his face with kisses. "Love you. Gimme a hold." He wraps his arms around them, holding them under their shoulders. "You… request, whatever you wan', gonna give it to you. Can even stop, if you wanna?"

Running their hands through Gordon's hair, they wait for Gordon's response, though it doesn't take long to get it. "Want… you to kiss me, hold me," he says, causing them to squeeze him as tight as they can without hurting him, pressing tender kisses along his jaw where his beard scratches their cheek. "Want to be good for you, sir, for, for you to keep telling me you love me, how good I am to you, that I belong to you."

"Fuck," Benrey groans. "Damn, Freakman." His begging is doing a number on their composure. Prolonging this any further is out of the question, the words tumbling out of their mouth without thought or question. "Fuck me, then. I dare you."

"Yes, sir," Gordon grunts out, before rearing his hips back and driving into Benrey hard enough to push them up the couch slightly, a moan punched out of them. It's not the same feral, unhinged fucking as before, but it's hard and fast, leaving Benrey clinging to his shoulders for support.

"Goooooood boy," Benrey breathes, words escaping between whines and deep, loud moans. "Ahh—Goohhhh… good boy—Love you, mine, my—hahhh, ohhhh god—You're fucking incredible…!" Benrey exclaims with a slightly delirious laugh, head tipping forward to stare at where Gordon has his cock shoved inside them. "Fuck, fuck—Doing so good, I love you…!"

When they aren't too busy crying out, they're kissing all over Gordon's face, capturing his lips, slipping their long, forked tongue into his mouth. They have to be careful not to let any of their sweet voice slip inside, though, or it'll break the spell.

"Ahhh—Mine, mine, all mine—! Don't gotta, scary, never letting go. Keeping you forever."

Speech begins to fizzle out, replaced by a mantra of "mine" before it starts to sound more like growling and deep, throaty groans. Wine-colored saliva hangs in a thread between their mouths as Benrey pulls their head back to bury their face in his neck, deeply inhaling his scent. The sensation of skin on skin is perfection, they want every inch of him consumed by their touch, want to feel him everywhere they can.

There's just enough cognizance left in Benrey's mind to tell Gordon, "Cum when I do, got it?" A sharp set of teeth bury themselves into Gordon's neck, the taste of copper flooding their mouth as they dig in deep. Their whole body shudders, form growing fuzzy like an old VHS tape as their second orgasm ripples through them, body going taut and legs squeezing around Gordon's back as their back archs into him. At the same time, they can feel Gordon's cock drive deep inside them, where his hips jerk, filling them up as he tips over the edge with them. He grinds into them until they're both exhausted, successfully milking him of every last drop before he falls limp against them.

Benrey's teeth release Gordon's neck, then, lapping at the injury with teal-green saliva until the wound closes, forming a pretty, bruised bite mark that takes up a sizeable length of his neck. As the two of them lie panting against each other, Benrey rakes their claws through his hair.

Once their breaths have steadied, Benrey captures Gordon's lips against theirs, humming a bead of white sweet voice into his mouth. Laying their head back against the bolster pillow, they watch as the dazed look in his eyes clears, until his lashes are fluttering like he's just woken up from a dream. Clear emerald eyes glance all over their face, smiling sweetly up at him, a hint of mischief in the uneven quirk of their lips.

"Good morning," they say.

"Good—" Gordon cuts himself off, those pretty, sparkly green eyes of his growing wide while his pretty pink face gets even redder. "You—fucking hell, you made me do… so much."

"Uh… oop," Benrey says. It's hard for them to tell if he's actually upset or not with how exhausted he seems, still catching his breath while they're perfectly fine. But there's nothing but awe and a hint of embarrassment in his expression, leading them to believe they're off the hook.

"Oh fuck, I said so much weird shit," Gordon groans, a barely held back laugh in his voice, lips quirked into an uneven smile as he drags a hand down his face. Benrey just watches him, their fingers continuing to run through his hair.

"Good shit," they say. "Said… good shit. 'Cept for the one part, icky, but, good anyway." Even if he slipped into some dark territories there, it's still some good GameFAQs on Gordon's internal psyche, keeping them up to date on his fee-fees and reaffirming their choice to trust him when he claimed some real similar stuff yesterday. It was all good, all important. And some of it was really funny, like when they made him talk about their dick.

Gordon lets out a relieved sigh. "At least now you know you're not the only freak around here," he says, a tentative smile forming on his lips. Benrey can't help but smile back. "I… I liked it, too. A lot. And… hey, thanks for letting me… you know, with the safe word. When I got going it was kinda impossible to stop. The rest of it though… that was really hot."

His words have Benrey's smile growing even wider. So it was good for both of them… it went… good! He trusted them with his autonomy, and he liked it. Nothing they did was an overstep, they were attentive to his needs…

"Whoa. Getting a really good grade in boyfriend," Benrey says, coaxing a snorting chuckle out of Gordon. That cute red blush still coats his cheeks as his face lights up with his dumb nerdy chortles, and Benrey's chest floods with warm fuzzies. Little soot sprites, like Spirited Away, gathering up little candies in there. And it feels fucking awesome.

Gordon nuzzles into their neck, curling himself around them like a particularly cuddly octopus, and they do the same in return, wrapping him up in all their limbs, plus several new ones. His breaths are warm against their skin as he presses a kiss to their jugular, speaking low into their ear.

"Cuddle now, please?"

Chapter Text

For the next half hour or so, the two of them do nothing but lie there in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow. There's nothing to worry about, no mess to clean up, no chores to complete, nowhere to be, no one to see. The daytime sun shines in through the curtains across from them, keeping Benrey toasty warm in Gordon's arms. As he trails his hands over their milky thighs, they lean into his touch, their arms wrapped tight around his neck, cheek nuzzling into his.

"Love you," they mumble. That seems to be something they never tire of saying, repeating it as often as they please with an accompanying kiss, nuzzle, or squeeze.

"Love you, too," Gordon answers, because if Benrey's gonna be so lovey dovey, he might as well join in and make it a mutual thing. Once upon a time, acting this way might have disgusted him, but right now, it feels perfect.

Lifting his head up, Gordon captures Benrey's lips in a tender kiss. Though his are getting sore from all the rough kissing they've been doing, he doesn't care to stop.

"Tastes like cheese," Benrey teases as their lips part, causing Gordon to roll his eyes and press a big, wet kiss to their cheek. It turns into something of a tickle fight, just with Gordon getting his slobber all over them with his kisses as they roll around trying to escape it, howling with laughter as they do.

Eventually they both tire out, and, following some more cuddles to allow them the time to calm down, Gordon decides he's had enough. "Alright. Batteries recharged," he declares. "If I lie here any longer I'm gonna fall the fuck alseep and I'd rather do something fun with you." 

Like a date, but he doesn't dare say that part aloud. There's only so much sappiness he can fit into one day. 

"So… what do you wanna do?" he asks, laying his chin down on his hands where he can watch over their expression. They take some time to ponder, staring straight up and popping their lips as they do. It's hard to notice just how long it takes them to find an answer, with how easy it is for Gordon to occupy himself playing with their hair or stroking over their soft skin.

"Bread," they eventually declare. A puzzled frown furrows Gordon's brows.

"…Bread? What, like eating, or…?"

"Do a Skyrim… been thinking," they elaborate, a touch of vocal fry to their voice that has Gordon's lip quirking up in a tentative smile. "Made the soup, big cool. Wow, Benrey, awesome! Master chef! Gotta do whole… list. Bread next."

Bread, huh? That's doable… though it's been a while since he's made any. The task is time consuming, and extra challenging with a toddler around, not to mention living on site in a shady science facility with no access to what he'd need. But he has some very fond memories of baking bread. While he doesn't have an exact recipe memorized they can probably check some cookbooks, maybe even find more stuff to make. There's still some fruit that needs using, a pie perhaps? He still knows his Aunt Daisy's pie crust recipe by heart.

There's a sudden pang of longing in Gordon's chest as he thinks about her. Daisy's been dead for three years already but sometimes that sorrow still feels fresh. She would have liked Benrey, Gordon knows this. Would have delighted in their enthusiasm about food, laughed at their jokes and threatened them with a spoon if they tried any bullshit. She would have told Gordon he'd caught quite the catch, a very strange one, but a catch nonetheless. 

But for now, he sets the nostalgia aside to focus on the present. They have bread to make.

"We can probably do that," Gordon says. "It's not that hard. We just need some yeast, flour, water, and salt. You can put more stuff in but those're the basics. Let's go check the kitchen."

Excited, Benrey jumps up to follow Gordon into the kitchen, where he has to usher them back out so they can put their pants on. They complain for a while with a chorus of "Dick's out in the kitchen!" but they don't succeed in their dastardly plans, sulking like a child that's been denied ice cream for dinner. So, as Gordon gets his apron back on, fixes his hair, and checks over the ingredients, Benrey gets their black jeans and heart-buckle belt back on before joining him in the kitchen.

"Breb breb breb breb," Benrey chants on their way in, stopping just behind him to wrap their arms around his waist. They have to stand up on the tips of their toes to do it, but they manage to rest their chin on his shoulder. "Chirp, chirp. Feed me bread, it's law."

Gordon laughs at Benrey's antics, charmed beyond reason by their silly little rants. To think there was ever a time where he found them annoying is inconceivable.

"Well, since I don't wanna go to bread prison for breaking the bread law, we better get started, then." 

They're lucky. All the necessary ingredients, including the dry yeast, are already in the pantry, so they can get started right away. There's also a basic bread recipe on the back of the flour bag, so Gordon opts to use that instead of derailing the whole thing by digging through cookbooks.

While mixing the yeast with warm water, oil, and salt, Gordon does his best to explain to Benrey why they'll need to wait for the bread to be done.

"Yeast," he explains, "Is a sort of microorganism that you use to get the dough to rise. You know all the little holes and dimples in a slice of bread? Those are air bubbles that're created when the yeast carbohydrates to carbon dioxide and alcohols through the process of fermentation." 

Glancing over his shoulder, he sees Benrey watching him with that vacant stare Gordon's used to seeing when they've stopped processing his words. Which, you know… fair enough, in this case. 

He abandons the explanation in favor of letting them stir the mixture while he adds the flour. The first cup goes well, but once the second cup gets added, he turns to look their way just to have them flick their whisk at him, getting wet flour stuck to his cheek, part of his beard, and the front of his apron.

"Oop. Hey, why you blocking my stir action, Freakman?" Benrey says, oh-so-innocently, like it's his fault they decided to start some food based warfare.

"Oh, you really wanna do this, Benrey?" he asks, his voice teasingly threatening as he pinches some flour between his fingers and retaliates by throwing it at them, splattering the front of their shirt with white specks of flour. The contact has them sputtering, swaying back as if they've been shot in the chest.

"Whuh—Crimes, criminal," Benrey accuses. Preparing their whisk with even more wet flour, they start flicking it at him again, getting it all over his face and apron. "Stop! You violated the law!" As Gordon prepares his next attack, Benrey runs their other hand over the flour-coated countertop, reaching out to smear it on Gordon's face as he barks out a laugh. This time, there are no pinches of flour, rather, he grabs a fistful which he brandishes at Benrey. 

"You'll never take me alive!" he boldly declares, stepping left as if he's about to round the counter that way as Benrey gives chase with the whisk, but he quickly changes directions, darting right as he lobs the handful of flour. Most of it gets on the floor and the counter but he does manage to cover one of Benrey's shoulder and arm in it. They cry out as it hits them, staggering like they've been shot.

"Rude!" they exclaim, just to grab a fistful of their own and lob it at him like they're having a snowball fight. He manages to duck out of the way of it getting in his eyes, but it still hits him square in the chest, exploding outwards and coating part of his beard. "Three point! Benrey win!"

The kitchen descends into chaos after that, flour getting lobbed around and smeared all over each other's faces and wherever else they happen to reach as they chase each other around. There's lots of giggling and playful taunting, plus a few tackles, like one instance where Gordon catches Benrey around the waist, smearing a ball of flour into their face as they let out a soft yell followed by a bark of laughter.

The flour war draws to a close as the clattering of bones reaches their ears, and they both look up to see the skeleton standing nearby, looking over the mess before looking at the two of them. For someone with hollow eye sockets and an expressionless face, they somehow manage to have the most disapproving glare Gordon's seen in awhile. A shiver goes up his spine at the sight and he turns to Benrey, his hands up in surrender. 

"I give. You're the reigning flour throwing champion."

"WOOHOOO! Benrey win!" they exclaim, throwing up their fists in victory as Gordon chuckles and shakes his head.

After some shuffling around and a bit of cleaning, which is mostly just brushing flour off the counter into the sink until the worst of the mess is gone, they get back to dough making. This time around they actually manage to finish it without starting another food fight.

"Now we're gonna cover this and let it rest for," he checks the recipe on the back of the flour bag. "Forty-five minutes." As Gordon covers the bread, he hears Benrey say "Good night" to it. "While we wait, let's get you some clean clothes." Looking at the mess the flour's made of Benrey's hair, Gordon adds, "And I can help you put up your hair, if you want. Keep it from getting attacked by more bread ingredients."

"Yessss. Gordon stylist momence," Benrey says. "Can I has pigtails?"

"You can has whatever you want, you just gotta get cleaned up first," Gordon laughs, ushering them away upstairs, flour spilling off of them with every step.

He only has to turn his head slightly to the left to spot the skeleton, who doesn't look too pleased by the trail of flour. They've gone off and found some cleaning equipment, including a vacuum cleaner and mop. A purple cloth is wrapped around their head, with rubber gloves on over their skeletal hands and a cream-colored apron wrapped around their body, looking like a mom in an old cartoon. The whole getup is absurd. Gordon doesn't really know what to say about it. He just steers clear of the kitchen and heads upstairs to get cleaned off before he faces the skeleton's wrath.

Hurrying after Benrey, Gordon does his best to wipe away the trail of flour they've left behind on the stairs with his sock as he goes. Upstairs, he finds the alien in a partial state of undress, their crewneck thrown carelessly onto the floor next to where they're fumbling with their heart-shaped belt buckle. Gordon pauses in the doorway, eyes trailing down the expanse of their back, observing the way their muscles flex. That he's been standing there staring doesn't occur to him until the teasing tone of Benrey's voice reaches him, their head tilted to smirk at him over their shoulder.

"Yooo. Like what you see?"

Denying that he does would be the flimsiest of lies, so Gordon instead smiles, stepping forward to press a kiss to their naked shoulder, his hand resting along their bicep.

"Yeah," he breathes against their skin, lingering there to take in the scent of flour and the floral soap clinging to their skin. But Benrey clearly isn't content with so little attention, gracefully turning around to lean into his arms, their own wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah? You want summa… my hot bod?" they tease. "Slice'a this cake? It's on sale."

Gordon guffaws at that, and is still trying to hold back his laughter as he leans down to kiss them. Despite how ridiculous their suggestion is, that doesn't stop it from being tempting. The bed is right over there, Gordon could easily pick them up without even breaking the kiss, carry them over and…

"Later," he promises, once he's pulled off the herculean task of dragging his mind out of the gutter. "We're not done baking yet, and I wanna take my time with you."

The excuse is just as much for himself as it is for Benrey. There's something he wants to try out, but it demands a fair bit of preparation and time, so it'll be better suited for after the bread is done. 

"Besides," he continues, stopping Benrey from looking at him like a puppy begging for treats at the dinner table. "You wanted me to do your hair, right?"

The reminder of what he'd promised them earlier hurries Benrey along, scurrying off to finish undressing before digging through their bag for clean clothes. Their haste has Gordon chuckling. Why they find getting their hair brushed and done up so exciting is lost on him, but he won't complain. Getting to play with their hair has been a delight so far.

Shaking his head, he heads off to do the same, removing his flour-stained clothes in favor of a clean pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt. While Benrey seems to take great joy in dressing up even when they're just lazing around the house, Gordon prefers comfort over style in this situation.

Once he's dressed, he turns to find Benrey kneeling on the bed, leaning forward on their hands looking up at him with puppy eyes. They've changed into something a lot more complicated than him, as usual; Hot Topic pants with a studded belt, a whole plethora of punky bracelets, a simple black ring collar around their neck, and, lastly, a crop top that reveals a sliver of their midriff. A pair of skeletal hands are printed on the shirt, cupping their pectorals.

Gordon glimpses all of this with curiosity before finding the scrunchies they've secured between their teeth like a dog carrying its leash to beg for walkies. There's a hairbrush in their left hand as well, where Gordon spies a ring on their middle finger in the shape of a black skull. The sight of them has him chuckling before he climbs onto the bed with them.

"Alright, alright, I'll do your hair," Gordon says, crawling around to sit behind them. 

He starts by brushing out their hair, ensuring there's no flour left clinging to the strands. But just like all the dirt that ends up on their body, it's vanished without a trace, leaving nothing for Gordon to brush through but Benrey's impossibly soft hair, shimmering a rainbow of colors in the light filtering through the window nearby.

Gordon hums as he works, taking his time brushing through Benrey's locks despite there being nothing to untangle. After that's done, he neatly parts the hair into two sections, twisting it around itself to prevent the pigtails from being too long before slipping a scrunchie onto each; orange on their left, with a paler shade of purple on their right. The colors strike him as odd considering Benrey's interest in the macabre.

"Why orange and purple?" he ends up asking them as he slips them into place.

"Huh?" Benrey hums, tilting their head to look back at him before realizing their mistake and facing forward once more. "Uh… orange one made me think of you. Purple… I'unno. Felt right."

Gordon doesn’t comment, but he understands. He’s always liked purple. It’s a very nostalgic color, reminding him of lazy summer days. 

This hairdo once again leaves Benrey's neck exposed, and a memory from yesterday flashes to the forefront of Gordon's mind. The urge that had him bending down to sink his teeth into their neck returns with a fiery passion, the sight of their pale skin almost impossibly tantalizing. It's odd, he's never had a thing for biting before, but Benrey… they keep bringing out new sides of him. He manages to satisfy the urge by merely pressing his lips to the nape of their neck, feeling them shiver as he breathes in their scent.

"There we go," he says, pulling back and clearing his throat like he's trying to cough away the need to surge forward and bite down, hard. "All pretty. Well, pretty-er."

Slender hands raise up to gently brush against the pigtails, feeling out their shape. The end result is fairly cute, a look Gordon never would have expected to see on Benrey, much less to find cute. "Breezy," they comment, before hopping up and scurrying off into the bathroom. Leaning back on his hands, Gordon watches them flick on the lights to gaze into the mirror, for some reason climbing up onto the sink counter to get as close as possible. Their hands rest on the mirror directly, turning their head this way and that to observe their new 'do.

"Whoa, I'm cute as heck," they comment, prompting Gordon to chuckle. He resists the urge to lay back against the pillows, knowing he may not get back up anytime soon if he does. "Why didn't you tell me I'm cute as heck, bro? That's messed, it's—that's entrapment." Their words draw another laugh out of him, louder this time.

"That's not entrapment! And I have told you that, haven't I?"

"Huh? Whuh, no. When? When you do that?" They lean back, somehow balancing precariously along the back of the counter without falling off of it. "Prove it. Prove it right now or I'm calling… tabloids. Magazine."

Gordon is almost too busy laughing to respond to their threats, halfway off the bed to stop them from falling off the counter. Though it seems like they're stuck to it somehow, preventing them from injuring themself. "Don't—hhahaha—you're very cute, okay, Benrey? The cutest."

"In the worl?" they ask, blinking up at him as he makes his way into the bathroom, resting his hand along their back like a safety net to ensure they really don't fall.

"Yes, in the whole entire 'worl'," Gordon responds, bending to kiss them. "Now get up, please. You're freaking me out."

"Cool," Benrey says, looking down at the tile floor behind them before hopping down, agile as a cat. He chuckles one more time, tossing the hairbrush onto the sink counter before leading them out and down the stairs.

With nothing to do while they wait on the bread to bake, Benrey drags Gordon through a door at the back of the house, bringing him into a small room with bay windows all along the outer walls. Through them, he can see the flowering bushes in the backyard and the morning sun hanging on the horizon. A dark grey booth curves along the outer walls just beneath those windows, with throw pillows and a fringed plaid blanket in matching greys. Gordon's only ever seen stuff like this on Pinterest.

"Whoa," he says, stepping inside and turning around to spot the bookshelves along the inner walls, floor to ceiling. Benrey marches right in to flop onto the booth, laid on their front watching him with their jaw propped up on their hands. Though, Gordon doesn't pay them much mind, instead letting his fingers trail over the spines of various books. "Did you know about this place?"

It's a bit of a dumb question; of course they knew, if they dragged him in here and asserted themself with such confidence. He still feels compelled to ask.

"Yuh," they confirm, as he browses through the mini library. "Skelly showed me."

"Huh," he says, continuing his search. Amongst the shelves, he spies a few cookbooks, although he skips "The Art of French Cooking". No disrespect to Julia Child, but he doesn't think either of them are equipped for that level of artistry just yet. For similar reasons, he also passes up a book that boasts healthy vegetarian recipes. While Benrey hasn't objected to vegetables so far, it's obvious they're primarily carnivorous.

In the end, he settles for a cookbook with lots of pictures and some pretty basic recipes. Perfect for someone who's just starting out. He sets it down on the booth, shutting the door he'd left open with his foot and leaving Benrey to thumb through the book he's chosen.

"See if you can find anything you like," he tells Benrey, as he gets settled on the seat beside them. They sit up to do so, flopping against his side like they're magnetized to him. Settling his arm around their shoulder, he watches as they dig through the pages, not even opening it up to look at them until they locate the two hundred and forty-forth page. On there lies a recipe for homemade ice cream, trailing over a two-page spread. "Hey, nice find."

"So smart, huge brain," Benrey brags in a mumbling voice, distracted by the images on the page. Their slender fingers travel over the silky smooth pages, tracing over the depictions of ingredients, mixing bowls with said ingredients inside, and most importantly, the final product. Each image is studied with no apparent regard for the words, considering they're covering those up with their hand in the process.

Once they're done with whatever they're doing—Gordon patiently waits for them to do so, curious what's going on in their head—they point to the last image insistently, asking, "You make this?"

"Uh—Well, maybe," Gordon says, gently taking their hand and moving it off the page so he can read the text contained within. He's never been in a place where he could spend time making his own ice cream, but it can't be too hard. Having checked the newly stocked kitchen earlier, he knows they've already got a lot of these ingredients, and the basic tools to combine them into something edible.

Curious yellow eyes scan over Gordon's face as he reads. "Whassit say?" Benrey asks.

"Oh, uh… looks like we'll need some sugar, eggs, milk… could use condensed milk instead," Gordon tells them. While reading off the list of ingredients, his finger draws under the text, though Benrey doesn't bother following along. All they seem to care about are the images. "We'll have to make a meringue first. Do we have any whipped cream?"

"I'unno," Benrey says, lifting their hand to pick at their lip. It's only a few seconds later, as Gordon is pondering what could be used in its place, that they add, "Nope. None cream."

How they went from not knowing to suddenly knowing is a mystery Gordon's willing to let be for now. "Alright, well, we can find another way," he says. From there, he reads off the rest of the recipe to Benrey, who snuggles close, making a low, rumbling noise that gets louder the longer he goes on for. "Are you… purring?"

"Whuh?" The noise stills as Benrey looks up at him with drowsy, half-lidded eyes, blinking slowly before lowering their head back down. "Keep reading."

Gordon considers pressing further, but ultimately decides to leave that one alone. Though as he continues reading through the steps in the recipe, the sound of Benrey purring only grows louder and more undeniable. He rubs his thumb against their shoulder, hearing their purr stutter before growing even more pronounced, until he can actually feel the vibrations against his arm. Suffice to say, he hadn't known they were capable of doing such a thing; but it doesn't surprise him. This isn't the first time he's noticed catlike traits manifesting in them.

After they finish going over the ice cream recipe, they start flipping through the pages in search of something interesting. A lot of it, Benrey doesn't seem to recognize from the images, and they just keep saying "Passsss" to everything until they find an image that looks tasty. Which is obvious, when they'll slap the page to stop Gordon from turning it like a cat capturing something in their paw. Or maybe the purring just has Gordon thinking about cats too much. They go over several recipes like this, from jelly-filled doughnuts to beignets and so on.

"Whas'zis," Benrey mumbles, pointing excitedly at the image on the page they've stopped on. Gently, Gordon moves their hand out of the way so he can actually see what's on the page. This ends up with them holding hands, which isn't exactly a problem.

"Scones," Gordon reads. "Oh, I know how to make these." Tilting the book more towards Benrey, he allows them to study the image, which they do, with huge, dilated eyes, their claws gripping the edges of the massive cookbook. "This recipe doesn't even use yogurt, this book doesn't know what it's talking about, man. I can make these way better, my Aunt taught me an ultra secret recipe." He catches their glance with a wink.

"Whoa," they breathe. "Princess Daisy to the rescue with those government secrets. You got clearance for that?"

The name Princess Daisy gives Gordon pause. The sound is so achingly familiar—Obviously, he knows about the video game character of the same name, which is probably what Benrey's referring to. After all, they did call the van Daisy Mae after the little Animal Crossing pig after all. But still, the nickname nags at his brain. It's not the first time he's heard Aunt Daisy referred to that way, but who did that?

The memory is just outside his grasp, so he gives up, continuing his explanation. "Yeah, man. You'll love it, we just need some kinda fruit, or maybe some chocolate or nutella—"

"Nut-ella?" Benrey says, to which Gordon immediately sighs.

"New-tella, it's like a chocolate and hazelnut spread, you put it on bread or you can use it for cakes and stuff like that," Gordon explains. The curious gaze Benrey aims his way reassures him they're actually listening, until they open their mouth again, and he wonders why he ever had faith.

"Nut?"

Gordon retaliates against Benrey's immature behavior by wrapping the arm he's got around their shoulders around their neck, tugging them into a headlock, though he doesn't dare mess up their cute ponytails. "Yes, Benrey, there's NUTS in it!" Gordon exclaims, holding Benrey against him as they start wrestling to get out of his hold, too busy laughing to properly call him "mean" and "rude" about it.

Eventually, Benrey tosses their arms around his waist to cuddle into his chest, their laughter tapering off as he returns the embrace. The book ends up slipping out of their laps and clattering to the floor as Benrey turns to face Gordon more fully, their legs folded off to one side.

"Is it good?" they ask him, tilting their head up to look at him.

"Huh?" Gordon blurts. It takes him a moment to realize what they're talking about, as they just stare up at him, patiently waiting for him to figure it out. "Oh, the nutella? Yeah, it's pretty good. It was a huge craze back in the day… Apparently it's a normal thing outside the US, been around for longer than I've been alive, but we just got it like crazy back in, uh… god, I think I was in high school at the time. Everyone was nuts about it, it was one of those quirky things, people would get so annoyed when you brought it up. But it's fucking good, man!"

He pauses, realizing suddenly that he's been talking about a chocolate and hazelnut spread for a little too long, looking down to see if he's lost Benrey yet. But they're looking up at him with the kind of innocent, dilated gaze of a cat staring adoringly at their owner.

"You're such a nerd, man," Benrey says.

"Whuh—Hey! Don't call me a nerd!" In further retaliation for their transgressions, he reaches down to grip their waist, acting without thought to tickle their abdomen. There's a brief second where he isn't sure if they're going to react—they're an alien, why would they be ticklish?—when suddenly, a stream of cyan to teal shoots out of their mouth, and they're wriggling to get away from his hands, noisy laughter erupting out of them.

"HYAHAHAHEHH—Noooooo, HAHAHA, stop—!"

"No way!" Gordon exclaims, fighting to maintain access to their waist as they start squirming and twisting around to escape, their face lit up like the sun as they giggle uncontrollably. "Take it back! I'm not a nerd!"

"You're—HAHAHAHA—NERD HAHAHYAHEHAH—!"

Benrey tosses and flails about, ending up curled on their front where Gordon struggles to reach their waist. There's tears streaming down their cheeks, but their face is brighter and more carefree than Gordon's ever seen it, warmth blossoming in his chest as he gazes down at them. He releases them, despite the fact they haven't given in to his demands yet, allowing them to catch their breath and stop laughing. Leaning over the top of them, he gazes openly at them, a fond smile on his face.

Once they've calmed down enough, they turn their head to return his gaze, their eye contact slightly off. They're still giggling under their breath a little, their ugly gremlin chuckle hopelessly endearing. He's always found it oddly charming, but now, it's like the effects are amplified. Rose tinted glasses and all that.

"Hey," Benrey says.

"Hey," Gordon says in return. Shifting his legs to get more comfortable, he leans down to kiss them, as Benrey lifts themself up to meet him, their hand sliding into his hair and arms winding around his neck. The taste of green apples cling to their lips as Gordon caresses them with his own, winding his arms around Benrey's waist as they twist around to face him again. He can feel their legs curling up along his side, barely enough room for the both of them to fit on the booth like this.

And then, he gets the weirdest feeling. Something niggling at him, this imagined weight on the side of his face… he lifts his head up, and catches sight of something out of place that prompts him to look up towards the window, as Benrey's lips travel along his jaw to his neck. Immediately, he jumps and falls backwards onto the floor, nearly taking Benrey down with him. There, in the window, is the skeleton, their hands pressed to the glass, watching.

Gordon points at them, seeing Benrey turn to look, just to turn right back as if they hadn't seen a thing. "That—You see that, right?" he questions, his voice wavering as he considers for one, insane moment that he might be imagining things again.

"Huh? See what?" Benrey mumbles, looking at the window and back again, as panic surges through Gordon's chest.

"The—The fucking—the skeleton in the window, Benrey!"

"Oh," Benrey says, looking for the third time and back again. "What?"

"Why is the skeleton watching us through the window?!"

"Whuh?" they mumble, looking at the window yet again, as Gordon nearly screams from their clueless behavior. The skeleton's intense, empty gaze shifts from Gordon to Benrey, and the two wave at each other. Gesture complete, Benrey turns back to Gordon and says, "It's chilling."

"Whuh—Uhh—I—Hhhhh." Gordon flops back against the booth behind him, where some of the throw pillows have fallen down with him, and drags his hand down his face. Adjusting his glasses, he looks up to see Benrey climbing down onto the floor with him, where they curl up, legs pulled to their chest, beside him.

He doesn't know why he's still so spooked by the skeleton. Explanations have been given, theories crafted. Yet the sight of an animated pile of bones ominously observing him through a window? Yeah, not enough weed in his system for that not to be fucking terrifying. Even worse, they're still there, watching. Watching him. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to ignore the sight of them for now.

"I think—I think the bread might be ready now," he tells Benrey. In response, they look down, then back up, before shifting around to push to their feet, helping him up after them. The mess is left as-is, save for the cookbook that Benrey lifts off the floor to carry with them into the kitchen. As they head out, Gordon can swear he hears bones rattling. He ignores the sound, walking without looking back.

Chapter Text

The bread still needs time to rise, but even if it isn't ready for consumption yet, the smell of the dough has Gordon's stomach rumbling. Getting high with nothing to snack on had been a mistake, he's starving.

"You wanna try out some of those recipes?" Gordon asks Benrey, who's sitting on the counter, swinging their legs. Golden eyes dilate as they look up at him, their posture growing perky as they eagerly nod. "Alright. What sounds good?"

"Wanna make EVERYTHING," Benrey declares, leaning on their hands to face Gordon more. They sound so childlike when they say shit like that, and it pulls a keen chuckle out of Gordon. If they want everything, they'll get everything.

"You're gonna make me fat if we make everything," Gordon gently chides anyway.

"So?"

With a fond smile, he turns away, green eyes flicking around the kitchen. "How about scones?" he suggests, earning an enthusiastic nod from Benrey. With that decided, they track down the proper ingredients together, though Benrey seems to know exactly where everything is and whether they have certain items without needing to look, speeding up the process. Though Gordon's suspicions about their apocalyptic kitchen stock soon prove correct, as they're missing an important ingredient.

"Can tell… uh, Jack Skelly to go get some," Benrey says, their eyes growing a little distant as they stand there picking at their lip. The mention of the skeleton has Gordon making a face, his body stiffening as he wonders, are they here, right now? Or is Benrey… communicating telepathically? Whatever the answer, Gordon hesitates to turn around, not wanting to get jumpscared by a skeleton hovering nearby.

"Are we really calling them that?" Gordon asks. Which, now that he thinks about it… how, exactly, are they going to handle having a skeleton hanging around? Should they name them properly? Start including them in things? Does the skeleton even know how to communicate? All of these are questions he really doesn't want to deal with right now, though. Luckily, the weed still in his system makes it pretty easy to let all those curiosities and anxieties go. "Tell them to get some natural flavored yogurt that hasn't gone bad. If that's not possible some unsweetened condensed milk should do the trick as well."

It's silent for a few moments while Gordon gets what they do have sorted out. Then, Benrey says, "What's a condensed milk?"

While Gordon explains that to them, he finds some jam to add to the pile, growing more excited at the prospect of getting to share one of his favorite childhood treats with Benrey. From there, he goes over the recipe again, passing the time until the skeleton returns.

There's a gentle clattering of bones against the hardwood floor as the skeleton reappears, shuffling closer and nearly sending Gordon's soul flying out of his body. "HA!" Benrey mocks, pointing at him as he leans back against the counter clutching his rapidly beating heart. "Get jumpscared, idiot!"

"Goddammit, Benrey—!"

The skeleton just looks back and forth between them as if confused, before clipping the black satchel they carry through their body to offer up to Gordon with the flap pulled back. Inside, there's a collection of items, including about ten cans of condensed milk, sweetened and unsweetened, piles of frozen strawberry yogurt, plus more of the ingredients they'll need for the other recipes Gordon read to Benrey earlier.

It might be the weed, but seeing the skeleton standing there offering him everything he asked for and more, it's like he can see them more clearly now. If he looks past the grim mask of death they carry and merely observes them for their actions, all Gordon can see is someone who's very helpful. Only now does it really occur to him that the kitchen and stairwell are squeaky clean, every dish in the sink washed. Add on top of that the fact they've fully stocked the kitchen and brought yet more food… suddenly, he isn't quite so afraid.

He still is, just a little. After all, it's a walking skeleton with hollow eye sockets that creeps on him through the window. Regardless, he takes the bag from them with a friendly smile.

"Thanks, bud. You did really good," he tells them, watching as the skeleton's posture somehow becomes even straighter, head tipping up slightly. With merely a moment's hesitation, Gordon leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to the top of their skull. The feeling of bone against his lips is an unsettling one, but he manages to hold back a shudder.

Suddenly, a high pitched squeal comes out of the skeleton, pearls of pink and yellow sweet voice streaming out past their teeth. Gordon takes a step back, leaning out of the sweet voice's trajectory. The pink, he recognizes, knows the taste and smell, the meaning… even if the yellow is foreign. As he tries to figure it out, the skeleton scurries away, startling a laugh out of him as he watches them sit cross legged on the TV, swing around to face the corner, and continue their high pitched song.

Standing up on the tips of their toes, Benrey kisses Gordon's cheek. "Loverboy," they tease.

"Hey, you told me to be nice to them," Gordon argues, unable to keep from smiling as he looks down at the mischievous glint in Benrey's gaze, their lips quirked up in a smile. "And I'm so nice! Boyfriend of the year material."

"Mmh, boyf material," Benrey mumbles, grasping onto Gordon's shirt and rubbing the fabric between their fingers. The two exchange a another kiss, before getting started on some scones. "Can we make iced cream too?" 

"Hmm," Gordon hums. Looking over the small chaos they've managed to create in the kitchen, he does his best to put a plan together in his head. "Maybe. But let's just start with the scones for now, okay? I'm starving."

As they get to baking, aprons and all, Gordon explains every step of the way to Benrey. Though they've read over the recipe already, it's different actually applying it to real life, and he wants Benrey to be able to learn properly. To his surprise, they appear to absorb his every word. Though they mutter a lot of nonsense as they do, which… Gordon is starting to find he actually understands. Weird how that works.

"Aunt Daisy used to make these every Sunday morning when I was down visiting her," Gordon says, while Benrey works on mixing ingredients. Several eyes glance his way, the rest focused on their work. "When they were in the oven, she'd send me out into the garden to get fresh mint leaves for the tea. She always got up at the crack of dawn, and dragged my lazy ass up after her, so there was still dew on all the leaves and grass."

Talking about that now has him drifting away, eyes distant as he watches a sunbeam filter in through the kitchen window.

"Though I never did get into the habit of waking up early when I wasn't at her place," Gordon continues. "'S a pity, because it's nice, you know, feeling the dew under your bare feet."

Benrey merely stares at him, blinking slowly. Trapped in a memory as he is, it doesn't hit Gordon that he's just said that to someone who's likely never felt the morning dew under their bare feet.

"You wanna, uhhhh," Benrey starts, popping their lips as they think through what they wanna say. Their eyes flick back and forth as they do, from Gordon back to their mixture. "Tomorrow, breakfast, backyard? Morning dew? Honeydew? Yeah?"

Warmth blossoms in Gordon's chest. There's something so sweet about Benrey wanting to help him relive one of his fondest childhood memories. The backyard in this place has a pretty high picket fence, so it's probably just as safe as the house. Even his anxious ass should be able to handle it.

"Yeah… yeah, I'd like that," Gordon says, glancing down at them with a smile that swiftly turns teasing. "Kinda gay of you to wanna watch the sunrise with me, though. You like me or something?"

"Nope," Benrey says, popping the P. A big, toothy grin appears on their face as Gordon leans in to blow a raspberry on their cheek, before grabbing their neck to hold them in place as he peppers their face with kisses. All the while, green and pink sweet voice bursts out of Benrey's mouth, filling the air with their laughter.

Once the scones are prepared, Gordon picks up the tray to slide into the oven. "Good night," Benrey says to the scones, waving to them as Gordon closes the door. "Can't wait to meet them," they continue, speaking to Gordon instead of the uncooked pastries, about the uncooked pastries. "Hope they like me."

Though the kitchen's gotten messy again, he doesn't feel like cleaning up right now. That's for future Gordon and Benrey. Or maybe the skeleton, if he offers them another kiss. Thinking about how they'd reacted to the last one nearly has him breaking down into giggles again. Who knew all he had to do was kiss the skeletons to make them stop being such little shits to him?

But how long that'll last remains to be seen. They are Benrey, after all, and though they may be lovey dovey right now, he still knows them to be a mischievous little brat. He loves that part of them, too, though.

"Hey, do you drink coffee or tea?" Gordon asks Benrey. "I can make either one for you."

"Never… had," Benrey admits. "'Cept some bean water once, kinda grody idk. Tommy got the uhhh. Cream sugar milk, Starbuck, tasted, okay I guess. Dunno, what's good?"

This information has Gordon ecstatic. It means he gets to introduce Benrey to tea, as well. Better make it a good one, not mint to start with, he thinks… Benrey seems to enjoy fruitier and sweeter tastes. Some digging through cabinets later, he manages to produce a raspberry tea that could work. He holds out the little bag for Benrey to sniff at, like when you let an animal investigate something, and they give it the loudest sniff imaginable.

"You like how this smells? It'll taste mostly like this, but a little more bitter. We can add some sugar to make it sweeter if you want to. Tea goes really well to scones, so we can brew up a pot while we wait for them to bake."

As he works the electric kettle he digs out of one of the cabinets, Benrey watches with rapt interest, their golden eyes following every step of the way. It's as he's about done with everything and starts pulling out plates and mugs that he stops in his tracks, the gears sluggish turning in his weed-addled brain.

"Okay, uh. Don't laugh," Gordon starts, turning to Benrey with a white, sunflower-covered mug in his hands as they stare up at him with their usual droopy-eyed curiosity. "I know how this sounds. But… does the skeleton want to eat with us?"

A vacant look comes over Benrey's face, staring back at him before their gaze drops to the counter. It's an absurd question, he knows, but at least they seem to be taking it seriously. If he's reading them correctly, anyway. 

"Uh… yeah," they eventually answer.

Gordon nods thoughtfully, taking out a third plate. No cup—he's under no delusion that the skeleton will actually eat the scones, but he feels the need to include them anyway. It's that same kind of odd realization he's been having so much about Benrey lately. It's like they said earlier, the skeleton is Benrey, a part of them that's been… taken out or copied. And it walks around, having the same need for closeness and love as Benrey does, but only getting it by proxy, a reflection mirrored off Benrey. And it's fucking unfair. They deserve better, Benrey deserve better!

"I'll be right back," he tells them, before scampering off into the living room. Here, he can see the skeleton still sitting on the TV, a cloud of pink bubbles floating around their head. "Hey, uhhh… Ben…rey? Man, we need to come up with a proper name for you, huh…" At the sound of his voice, the skeleton turns on an axis to face him. "Wanna come join us in the kitchen? It's—We're making scones, and Benrey said you might want to have some."

It still feels a bit odd, talking to a skeleton. But just as he's started to see past Benrey's shapeshifting, Gordon is trying to do the same with the skeleton. Because it's not just "a skeleton", it's Benrey, and he loves Benrey, regardless of what shape or form they take. Reaching out a hand, he offers it to the skeleton, a soft smile playing at his lips. Empty eye sockets stare down at his hand for a prolonged moment.

The skeleton's hand is held out daintily for Gordon to take, leaving him to grasp onto their fingers like he's about to kiss their hand and offer them a dance. He grips it gently, keeping in mind that he doesn't know what holds it together. It's not as sturdy as Benrey is, he's shot enough of them in the head to know that now. The mere thought of that has guilt churning his stomach. Had they been just like this one, thrust into the world and seeking him out because of Benrey's feelings for him? And all they got in return were bullets to the head.

In the blink of an eye, the skeleton goes from sitting to standing, shuffling along at a bashful distance from Gordon. He squeezes their skeletal hand a little tighter as he leads them back into the kitchen, where Benrey is lounging backwards in a chair, head and arms propped up on the back, watching. As he nears, he hears Benrey mumble something, though he can't make it out.

"What was that?" he asks.

"I said 'you have a dumb face'," Benrey says. He rolls his eyes, knowing that wasn't what they said, but he also knows Benrey's too stubborn to give up what they actually did say. 

"Whatever, Ben," he says, pulling out a chair for the skeleton to sit down at. "I have no idea if you can actually eat or not, but we'll give it a try, and see how it goes." Once the skeleton's seated, their back ramrod straight with their hands resting on their knees, Gordon heads back into the kitchen, pouring two mugs of tea; mint for himself, raspberry for Benrey. As he sets them down with a bowl of sugar and a spoon, he muses, "We're gonna need a name for you, bud. Two Benreys is gonna be confusing. You got any preferences? Flesh Benrey, any suggestions?" 

"Uh… dunno," Benrey admits, staring down at the warm amber drink in their grasp. They've turned around properly by the time Gordon got back, and now they've sniffing their tea like a pig searching for truffles. "How'd you name, you? Gordon? Wanted to be a Ramsey or sumthin'?"

Gordon sits down on Benrey's left. "How'd you name you?" he jokingly shoots back, only realizing once it's left his mouth how awkward of a question that is to ask someone with Benrey's background.

"Serial number," Benrey says, raising their tea up to their mouth for a quick sip. Their face wrinkles up at the taste, prompting them to start stirring in some sugar.

Those words send a chill down Gordon's spine, something like guilt stabbing him through the chest. Though Benrey doesn't seem to think anything of it, so he won't make a big deal out of it, either. For all he knows, what they just said has nothing to do with what he thinks it does. That doesn't make it any less unnerving to hear.

He tries to focus on their original question, sipping his tea as he ponders, enjoying the nostalgic taste of mint filling his mouth. Mostly other people give you names, birth name from your parents, nicknames from friends, and pet names from partners. Although there's plenty of reasons for people to pick their own names, and then there's your online names. Gordon has had a few of those during his life. In a way, the skeleton is like an avatar. Benrey, but still not.

It feels wrong to name them something completely different though, they don't need to hide their identity like you would with a screen name. It's still Benrey after all, which is what finally gives him an idea. 

"Benrey…" he starts, pointing at them before moving his finger towards the skeleton. "Benny. That should work, right? Benny the Skelly."

- ♡ -

Benrey tips their head to one side in thought. Benny. That's something they've heard countless times directed at themself, by people they don't remember the names of, but used to hang out with. Not once did they ever really identify with it.

They turn to look at the skeleton—or Benny, they suppose—sitting beside them, stiff save for how it turns its head to look around.

Now that it has a name, it feels… bizarre. Like it's a people, separate from Benrey. Or like naming one of your body parts, which, Benrey knows some people do that sort of thing with their dicks or their muscles and such, but that's just a joke, no one actually calls it that. They think.

The feeling this gives them is difficult to parse, at once positive and negative. That ends up with the feelings canceling each other out, until Benrey realizes they aren't terribly pressed about it either way.

This skeleton, this specific one, belonged to the form they'd taken when talking about sand and mud with a Gordon who had refused to listen, understand, or give a shit. Now he has given it one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone. An identity.

Humans are so fucking weird. Benrey's a little obsessed with how they work.

Setting their drink down, they reach out with one hand, placing it on Benny's shoulder like Gordon always does with his friends. "Ben-ny," Benrey slowly enunciates. The skeleton stares back, giving no reaction. Reminds them of a scene in Tarzan, except the skeleton doesn't respond with their name, because it can't speak. Blinking slowly, Benrey eventually pulls their hand back, facing Gordon instead. "That felt fucking weird not gonna lie."

- ♡ -

Emerald eyes follow the motion of Benrey's hand as they place it on Benny's shoulder to address them. Their reaction has Gordon wheezing though, the comedic timing too good. 

"Yeah, it's all fucking weird. But that's been my life since meeting you, bud. You just gotta roll with it." 

It doesn't surprise him when Benrey pulls back to start scooping more sugar into their tea, tasting it, frowning, adding more. Their palate is very much like that of a child, leaning towards the sweet and savory things and avoiding the bitter. He makes a little note of it, deciding to hold off on broccoli if they ever stumble upon some. Considering Benrey doesn't need proper nutrition, if they wanna live off the good stuff, who is Gordon to stop them?

"How is it?" he asks them, once they finally stop stirring in more sugar and start drinking it properly instead.

"Weird," they say, smacking their lips. "Kinda gross. I love it." They bring the drink back up to their lips, sniffing loudly before slurping it up just as loudly. Somewhere over the course of the past week or so, Gordon's come to find that sort of thing endearing.

"Weird, kinda gross, but loving it," he repeats, giving them a teasing grin. "Kinda like someone I know."

An offended noise escapes Benrey. "Rude. I want a divorce," they say, before taking another sip of their tea. Gordon laughs, reaching over to pat their head before sipping some of his own tea.

The smell of the scones is starting to shift, taking on that nuttier tone that usually indicates they're done. Even Benrey is sniffing the air, their nose wrinkling like a rabbit's. After getting up to check on the oven, he finds the scones have turned a perfect golden brown, so he locates an oven mitt to retrieve the tray.

"God damn, I'm so fucking hungry right now," he groans, setting the tray down on the counter. With the flat of a bread knife, he gingerly places the steaming scones on a wooden cutting board, bringing it all over to the table. Here, Benrey lays their head down on the table, staring down the pastries with big, catlike eyes. "Next time we get high, we're gonna need some snacks available."

Somehow, he manages to cut up some scones without burning his fingers too badly, nor causing them to crumble. The smell is heavenly, making him even more hungry as he slathers one with butter and jam. Benrey and Benny watch him work, unblinking.

"Bro this is like those commercials where they tear apart the chicken," Benrey comments. "Gonna slow-mo this in my BRAIN."

Gordon chuckles, holding up his finished scone for them to observe. "I like to eat them like this," he explains, "But you can do whatever. Sweet stuff is usually best, though, or ham and cheese if you want something savory." Unable to wait any longer, Gordon takes a big bite of his scone, closing his eyes and humming in delight as a nostalgic explosion of sweet, salty, and creamy flavors fill his mouth.

"Damn," Benrey breathes.

He opens his eyes to catch them experimenting with one of the remaining scones, first copying what he'd done before stuffing the entire thing in their mouth. Gordon intently watches them chew, happiness filling him as he sees their eyes go wide, pupils dilating. They're so expressive like this, so much more than he ever expected them to be. With one down, they start going for another, trying out different combinations with a childlike glee. Gordon doesn't know how it's possible to fall even more in love with them.

- ♡ -

The texture of Gordon's pastries are strange, not as smooth as Benrey likes food to be, but the taste makes up for it, their eyes going wide and dark with interest. Chewing slowly to savor the flavors washing over their tongue, Benrey swallows down the treat, pink bubbling out of their mouth at the taste. Turning, they look over at Benny with sparkling eyes, filled with this innate desire to share in the moment with them.

The skeleton's sitting politely in one of their stock animations, just watching. But after Benrey looks their way, it's like they've been given permission to act, raising their skeletal hands to grab their own piece. They prepare it exactly as the others had, jam and butter. With bated breath, Benrey and Gordon watch as Benny neatly pushes the pastry at their teeth, and it clips right through, disappearing like a VHS tape pushed into the player. Yellow eyes stare down towards Benny's neck, expecting it to fall right out, but nothing ever happens. Approximately the same amount of time that Benrey spent chewing passes before Benny hums the same shade of pink.

"Benny eats!" Benrey cheers, face lighting up with pure elation as they throw their arms up into the air.

Gordon laughs, loud and bright as he, too, throws his hands up. "They eat! Congratulations, Benny! I'm happy for you, bud."

"Benny HUNGERS. Feeeeeed…" They reach for another scone as Benny just watches them, waiting until Benrey slathers the piece with jam before copying them, like a smaller sibling watching the older one for instructions.

Benrey is so busy buttering their next scone—no jam, just to see—that they don't notice Gordon getting up until he returns with another mug of raspberry tea, sliding the steaming mug painted all over with sunflowers to Benny with a smile. They stare down at the mug, before looking up at him, a pearl of pink sweet voice passing through their teeth.

"Get some sugar in that, and let's see if you can drink as well," he tells them.

Through their shared connection, Benny already knows how much sugar Benrey used to make the tea sweet enough for them, and picks up a spoon to stir in the correct amount. Much like with the scones, both Benrey and Gordon watch closely as Benny lifts the cup up to their teeth in a mirroring of the way Benrey did it. The honeyed liquid clips through their teeth and vanishes behind them. Once they're finished with their sip, they give a refreshed and appreciative pink hum.

"Benny drinks!" Benrey cheers, holding up their mug so Benny will clink theirs against it while Gordon applauds. "Oh man, this is SOOOO great. I want them to wear clothes next."

Their mind races with the possibilities. They know next to nothing about the skeletons, having never gotten a chance to properly play with them until about a week ago, when Black Mesa went tits up. It's a little like playing with dolls, but a really expensive battery operated one that walks and drinks tea.

"This is just like old times," Benrey says, thinking of all the times they spent with Gordon, building little castles in the sand by the lake not far from Princess Daisy's castle—or her house, that is. They'd use sticks and sometimes these little lego people from Gordon's room to play pretend, giving them rooms in the castles and roles in the monarchy, which Benrey had trouble following and Gordon called him weird for it. But also interesting, their innovation brought upon by a lack of knowledge making their games that much more captivating.

"What? Nah, man, this is nothing like back then," Gordon says. "Benny's much nicer than any of your other skeletons… although that might be partially my fault. Little hard to make friends when you… you know."

Benrey tilts their head at Gordon. That wasn't what they meant, but they don't know why they thought he'd understand. It doesn't matter, anyway—they go along with his interpretation, taking a bit of offense to hearing their other skeletons referred to as less nice. They didn't think they did anything particularly bad, they were just playing along with what they thought Gordon wanted from them. Sucks about all those other skeletons, none of them made it out.

At least Gordon is acknowledging he had a hand to play in that. Benrey reaches for another scone, the skeleton following only a few moments behind them, making theirs exactly the same as Benrey's—slathered in jam with a bit of butter on top. They've decided this is the best way to do it, getting their favorite part—the jam—in spades while still getting to enjoy everything else as well.

They munch for a while, thinking everything through. Life with a permanent skeleton is going to be a lot different. They'll have to be more careful than usual now that Gordon has taken a liking to Benny, giving them a name and everything. If Benny dies, they know it won't be the same to just replace them with another skeleton. Even if, as far as they know, it is functionally the same. But it would be like replacing a kid's dead goldfish without letting them know, like that episode of that fairy show. Whatever it was called.

Benrey finishes off their scone by downing the rest of their tea, which Benny copies. "You're just fun to prank on," Benrey says. "You react so much, it's great."

Frowning slightly, Gordon goes for another scone. "Yeah well, don't expect too much out of me," he says. "I'm trying to be more zen, less angry and all that." He falls silent while taking a bite of his scone. "Like… just don't be mean about it and shit. No hurty Gordon. Other than that, prank away. I'll try and give you a nice big reaction. Be prepared for retaliation though, I know a thing or two about pranking, myself."

"You prank yourself?" Benrey immediately shoots back, looking up at him with a smug curl of their lips. Still, despite their smartass comeback, they'll take his words to heart. Chasing Gordon through a hallway cackling and threatening to kill him isn't funny to anyone but them. It's just mean for Gordon.

Before long, the scones have all vanished, most of them ending up going down Benrey and Benny's throats. Or wherever Benny's is going. They don't know a lot about their anatomy and how it works, but they know enough to know how their body processes food, and it doesn't really make sense that Benny's would be able to do the same. But, whatever. It's fun getting to share a meal with their new friend, Benny.

"Wanna prep the bread?" Gordon asks. "The dough should be ready now, I think."

Together, they head into the kitchen, where Benrey grabs their apron off the wall, pulling the straps back into place on their body. Donning this thing makes everything feel right, like they're really taking on the role of a chef, a baker, a patissier, even. Benny watches them from the table.

Though Benrey doesn't actually know what prepping bread means, they follow along with Gordon's instructions, having fun touching the fluffy bread as they do. As always, he spins it as a teaching experience that helps them understand the bread beyond just what they see him do with it. When they suggest adding fruit, they dig around for something to use, but can't find anything that'll work.

That's when Gordon says, "Guess we could always use sweet voice if we ever get really desperate… wait, can you cook with sweet voice?" His lips part as if to explore that topic even more, but he snaps his mouth shut, looking somewhat guilty for reason Benrey can't fathom. It's a good idea… except that it wouldn't work.

"Strawbaby love potion," Benrey mumbles to themself. "Make those little… uh dessert bread, sweet voice swirls." They wonder what it would look like if they placed a pearl of pink sweet voice into the middle of this bread, and folded it in, like Gordon explained to them. The only problem is that sweet voice dissolves after a few minutes.

Except… It hits them suddenly, like a bucket of water has been drenched over their head. Whipping around, Benrey grabs Gordon by the biceps, excitedly declaring, "Sweet voice doesn't dissolve in the cold! ICED CREAM!!"

A startled laugh is pushed out of Gordon, though as their words wash over him, something so distinctly sad flashes in his eyes. They don't wanna see that, though, not when ice cream is on the line. Luckily he doesn't say anything weird, instead bending to press his lips to Benrey's brow.

"Alright, bud. We can make some love ice cream," Gordon tells them. "We just gotta finish prepping the bread, and then we can get started."

It takes a second for Gordon's words to click, but when they do Benrey lights up. All their food has been made with love, but now it has the potential to be literally made with their love. This plan is so exciting to them that they can hardly contain themself.

"Love ice cream," they echo, awed, like Gordon's said something brilliant. "Bro we're gonna sit around stuffing our faces, being so sappy and gay. That's the American dream."

"I mean, add fucking to that and that's basically what we've been doing since we got here," Gordon teases. 

It takes a moment for them to calm down enough to focus on the present as opposed to getting over excited for the future, working along with what Gordon tells them to do in order to get the bread completely prepped and ready. Once they're done and ready to move on, Benrey doesn't waste a single second.

"Ice cream? Gimme the steps loverboy."

Though they've had a recipe read to them already, it doesn't mean they can just do it right away with no assistance. Gordon's shown himself to be more than capable in the kitchen, and, well… it's kinda just nice being shown the steps by him. He's patient and makes everything so easy to understand, not to mention he gets that soft look in his eye, like he enjoys teaching just as much as he makes Benrey enjoy learning.

A few days ago they might have expected any lessons from Gordon to include a lot of tension—he'd be short with them, they'd get frustrated and start bullying him to cope, he'd yell at them until he's red in the face, there'd be physical violence at their expense, no ice cream would get made. They'd say Gordon's like a whole different person now, but he's always been this way. It's just never been aimed at them before.

If they still had their pain receptors turned on, their jaw would hurt from how much they've been grinning today. Gently, they bump their hip against his before heading to the fridge for the ingredients he wants.

"We gotta start by making a meringue," Gordon explains to them, as they set up the ingredients on the counter. He glances back to where Benny has been watching from the table, before saying, "Go wash your hands, both of you. I'll show you how to separate eggs."

Benrey looks down at their hands, a little offended. They don't get dirty because their body regularly self cleans, much like a video game character that loses their blood overlays after a short amount of time. There's this instinct to whine, but they remember what Gordon said about being nice and getting rewarded for it. Karma. If washing their hands is what it takes to get ice cream, they'll wash their hands like a fucking PRO.

Stepping over to the sink with Benny, they take turns washing their claws and bones with soap and water like Tommy once showed them, shaking the water from their hands. Some of it splashes off Benny's phalanges and onto Benrey's cheek, and they make an offended noise before shaking their hands at Benny's skull in retaliation, which rapidly devolves into them flicking water at each other. Neither of them notice the way Gordon watches them with amusement and fondness glistening in his eyes the entire time.

This gets old pretty quick, though, and Benny stops to track down some dish towels, handing one to Benrey so they can both a move on. Once they're done, Benrey returns to stand by Gordon, looking very eager to continue. They lean against him while Benny stands stiffly on Benrey's other side, staring past them to Gordon.

"Cleam now let's crack absolute egg," Benrey announces, reaching out to snatch one up.

Gordon said "separate eggs" and not "crack", which is the egg white thing, they've seen that in baking shows enough times that it's registered through the weed-induced haze they typically exist in while watching TV. There are some bowls sitting out, so Benrey uses one to crack the egg into, deftly breaking it open with their fingers and separating out the egg whites into the bowl. The look of astonishment Gordon aims at them turns into a wheezing laugh as they get rid of the remains by shoving them into their mouth, loudly chewing on the shell.

"Was that good?" Benrey asks.

"Pffff… yeah—yeah, that was really good, bud," Gordon manages to say once his laughter has died down. Benrey's chest swells with pride at his praise. "Didn't know you were an egg pro. Benny, you wanna give it a try?"

Benny's attempt is more awkward purely by virtue of lacking the friction skin provides, so their fingers slip and some of it gets on their hands. The end result is decent enough, however, and Benny clips their soaked hand through their teeth, pulling it out clean.

The noise of the mixer Gordon has to use makes Benrey flinch when it first turns on. It's so much louder than they expected, being much easier to tolerate on TV. Though Benny doesn't seem to mind it very much.

Benrey hums a deep, bloody red as it starts to feel like something is rattling around in their skull, until they feel a skeletal pair of hands press over their ears. The sound muffles more than it probably should and Benrey relaxes considerably, their distress song tapering off. Gordon watches them for a moment with concern in his eyes, a look they don't even notice, fixated on the sight of the fluffy substance inside the mixer. When his arm winds around their waist and he presses a kiss to their cheek, they lean into him, melting into his embrace.

Though the feeling of bones digging into their side as Benny covers their ears dampens the experience a little. If they're being completely honest, hugging Tommy is only marginally better. His hip bones often dug into their flesh and they could feel his ribs when he laid in certain positions. These things don't bother them, because they love Tommy and his gangly—soft, graceful—body.

To say they love Benny is… well, Benrey wouldn't go that far, in any definition of the word. Benny is convenient to them and a fun toy to play around with. It makes them feel warm for Gordon to show Benny love in the same way he shows it to them because Benny is Benrey, they're one and the same even if they exist separately and act independently. Sort of. Still, being cradled against Gordon's body is far too good for a bunch of sharp bones pressing into their side to ruin.

Their hand reaches up to stroke Gordon's ponytail. Next to them, they hear Benny humming an affectionate song, singing in a higher register than Benrey's voice. Benrey harmonizes to it with their own humming as if responding in agreement. Gordon is very warm, soft, and gives excellent hugs, and Benny is getting to experience that through their shared connection. Of course they both think it's nice, and feel compelled to sing about it.

It's with a soft whine that Benrey protests Gordon eventually pulling away, before remembering the ice cream and relenting. Their combined song trails off, with Benrey feeling a bit more hazy than they were before. It's just so easy to fall into that head empty, dreamy state with Gordon being so sweet and cuddly with them.

But for now, tasks.

"Alright love birds, we need to get this ice cream going," Gordon tells them. "We need to fold the milk into this and then put it in the freezer before we add the sweet voice. Benny, open two cans of milk please. Benrey, you want me to show you how to fold it, or are you an expert on that as well?"

As Benny deals with the milk, Benrey makes a thoughtful hum. Thanks to that little side hug, they're feeling especially cuddly, even more than the weed tends to make them.

"Gonna have to golf swing me bro," they tell Gordon. Knowing how unlikely it is that Gordon's going to know what that means, they demonstrate. Squeezing in front of him with their back to his chest, they pull his hands around towards the counter. "Oh I'm so helpless," they deadpan, purposely failing to sell the role they're taking on. Their fingers tangle with Gordon's. "Never folded a thing ever whole life. Gotta show, hold my hands." 

To their delight, Gordon absolutely melts at their display of helplessness, following along with their idea while nuzzling close to their ear with a soft laugh. "You're incorrigible, you know that?" he tells them, pressing a kiss to the shell of their ear that sends a light shiver down their spine and tingles over their neck. "Alright Benny, since my hands have been seized, you're on milk pouring duty. Pour it in slowly and I'll show this damsel in distress how it's done."

It's with a contented sigh that they lean into him, doing their best to work with him on the kneading so it doesn't get too awkward, while Benny pours the milk at a measured pace. Even if it's clumsier, Benrey still prefers this positioning for the Gordon-blanket they get to wear.

This little slice of domesticity has Benrey humming a soft, contented blue. Life at Black Mesa had never been like this. While the guards weren't exactly a pack of testosterone fueled macho men they certainly weren't jumping at the chance to bake sweets and cuddle up to each other.

Their blue shifts purple as they resurface from those memories, staring down at the batter with a soft smile. It looks delicious already, with Gordon giving the fluffy, creamy mixture an approving nod, and they have to remind themself that it's not for eating, not yet.

"You understand now, your highness?" Gordon teases, nipping at the tip of Benrey's ear as they blow a raspberry at him. "Let's put this in the freezer, and then it's time to bake the bread. After that I'm demanding a nap. You guys are slave drivers in the kitchen."

A smirk tugs at Benrey's lips as he says that, while Benny puts the ice cream mixture away and Benrey puts the bread into the oven, giving it a wave and a soft "Good night" as they do. Once they're done, Benrey raises back up to say, "Let's go back to the," they gesture towards the reading nook. "Keep an eye out on, breb, while you conk out. Just gimme a time."

"Uhh, around thirty minutes, I think."

After setting a timer in their mind, Benrey grabs onto Gordon's hand and follows him into the reading nook. Here, they find all the pillows have been picked up and placed back on the sectional, which Gordon plops down on.

"Damn, this place is nice," he comments, sinking into the plush seat. Benrey watches him with fondness in their eyes, closing the door behind them. That's when the look on his face starts to sour, and he reaches up to grasp onto one of their belt loops. "You're staying, right?"

Purple drifts out of their mouth. Taking his hand, they bring it up to their cheek to nuzzle into his palm.

"Duh," Benrey says. They play with his hand as they speak, rubbing over his smooth skin. "I wanna cozy too. Benny'll clean up and watch the bread so nothing goes asplode."

To prove this, Benrey flops down on the sectional as well, stretching out their limbs before arranging a bunch of pillows and the gray plaid throw blanket into a cozy little napping spot. Lying down under the fringed blanket, Benrey holds it up with one arm, patting the space in front of them. "Come cuddle me I'm sooooo lonely. This is sad. One like equals one kiss on my head."

"Oh no, who let my boyfriend get lonely? Who did this?" Gordon responds, doing his best Benrey impression as he crawls over to them, pressing a quick kiss to their lips before slumping down with his head on their stomach. Not where they expected him to go, but they like it. He makes a contented noise in the back of his throat that rumbles against their slightly exposed midriff. "Yeah, that's the spot. I'm gonna nap so hard."

A quiet snicker makes its way out of Benrey's throat. "Worl' record napping champion, my boyfriend in the books, top of chart," they tease. They settle the blanket down around him, bundled up against their waist looking somehow smaller, softened by the fabric wrapped around his body.

Benrey runs their hands through his warm brown curls, while the other lowers down to caress the side of his face, thumb rubbing against the smooth and freckled skin of his cheek. Their head tilts towards their shoulder, watching him with a keen smile. Who knew they'd ever get to feel this way, and with Gordon of all people? Unreal.

"Hey," Gordon says, his breaths warm against their waist. "Thanks for this, for… for everything. I'm… really happy that we're here right now." Catching their hand, he presses his lips to their dark fingers. "I love you."

His words have their expression softening, hopelessly fond. There's this affectionate feeling of wanting to squeeze him until he pops overflowing within them and escaping them in a pink and blue hum, like little fairies hanging in the air above him. It doesn't feel like enough. But the message would get muddled if they start throwing too many colors into the mix, and they're not going to disturb him by moving him for a squeeze.

Either way, they lower their hands to wrap around him as best they can. Safe and cozy in their arms, as he should be. As he always should be.

To protect has been their job for years. Now that they know how to protect Gordon properly—and that he needs to be protected at all—they're going to do it to the best of their ability. Maybe they weren't meant to do it, maybe they were born to hunt and kill, but they don't care. They don't want to be that anymore.

- ♡ -

Dreams fade in and out as Gordon sleeps, pictures and sounds with little rhyme or reason. There's the sound of his sister singing along to the radio, muffled by his bedroom wall. Then, there are strange landscapes, mixing the dry deserts of New Mexico with the ethereal beauty of Xen. 

Finally, a dream forms and solidifies. Gordon finds himself in Aunt Daisy's kitchen again, sitting on a chair where his feet don't reach the floor as he kicks them back and forth, enthralled by the pendulum motion. 

"Going out to see your little friend today?" comes the voice of his aunt. From where he sits, all he can see is her back as she stirs something on the stove. He nods in response, too busy nibbling on a piece of bread to use his mouth. "It's a pity they won't come in and say hi. They seem like such a fun little character." 

Though Daisy's words are kind, they still annoy him, because he knows she thinks they're imaginary. All because they don't want to be seen! It's okay, though, they're not an imaginary friend, they're a secret friend. Which is WAY cooler. 

The dream shifts, and suddenly he's outside, crawling into the underbrush of the lilac arbor where they've made their secret hideout. The sight of his friend's back, clad in one of his own deep blue t-shirts, ignites a spark of joy in Gordon's chest. They aren't always here when he comes to greet them in the morning, and it's awful and disappointing each time. But today, he doesn't have that problem. Before he's even opened his mouth, they've enveloped him in a tight hug, their tiny, mud-stained hands clutching tightly to his back. He hugs them with equal enthusiasm, giggling as they rub their cheek against his, not unlike Daisy's cats. 

"Look," he tells them, holding up an item for them to gaze upon. "I got new batteries for the GameBoy. You wanna see if we can beat the water level?"

They part their lips to respond, but from their mouth is only birdsong. The sound perplexes Gordon, and he's about to ask what that was about when the dream dissolves into sunlight and more chirping.

Gordon blearily opens his eyes, squinting at the sunbeam filtering in through the window. Outside, he spots a bird perched upon a branch singing its little heart out. The melody is delightful, and he can't help but enjoy it despite being the source of his interrupted sleep.

"Morning, egg baky," Benrey greets, raising a hand to stroke the side of Gordon's face.

"Whuh… eggs?"

Gordon blinks up at them, still buried half under the lilac bush. The sun filtering through the leaves in the tree outside looks similar to the light from his dream, and Benrey's face peering down at him looks so much like… like… like who…?

Whatever his brain had tried to connect flutters away just as the bird outside does, and his focus returns to Benrey, leaning into the hand stroking his cheek. 

"How long was I out?" he asks.

Benrey makes a soft clicking noise with their tongue. "'Bout an hour. Little less," they answer. "'Lil sleepy angel boy got some good z's under Benrey's watch."

As his mind clears, Gordon can now clearly smell the aroma of freshly baked bread. Since it doesn't smell burnt, he assumes Benrey and Benny took care of it, allowing him to relax. Though he's still tired, but his mind is less so. Plus, the edibles keep him wrapped up in a blanket of calm fuzziness, and it's more fun to be awake and actually enjoy it than waste his high sleeping. Who knows how much longer they'll be able to get THC in the apocalypse?

Despite the lunch they recently shared, the smell of bread is awakening Gordon's munchies again. "Wanna go make a sandwich?" he asks, using a tone not unlike when you ask a dog if they wanna go for a walk. With a lopsided grin, he adds, "I think the ice cream is cold enough to sing some love into, as well."

"Yesssss," Benrey says, scooping Gordon up in a blanket burrito to carry him out of the room, a happy little noise coming out of him in response. He's never been with someone strong enough to carry him with such ease before, and he's quickly growing to love it. Not having to move when you've just woken up is awesome!

- ♡ -

Once they've left the little nook, Benrey carries Gordon over to the dining table, where they place him down perched on the edge, legs hanging over the side. As they do, they watch Benny shuffle over from the living room to investigate. There's a movie playing on low volume in the living room, Grease from the looks of it, which has Benrey wrinkling their nose with distaste. Over on the kitchen counter is the bread, still in the pan and looking all cute with the little lines and everything.

After kissing Gordon's forehead, Benrey walks right over to stare very closely at the bread, kneeling by the counter to put themself at the same height as the baked good. It's kind of surreal, not to mention incredible, seeing the real version of something they've only ever seen animated in some form. And they're not even done! The bread can be transformed into other things, and eaten in so many different ways. Food is incredible.

Standing back up with their hands on the edge of the counter, Benrey parts their lips to say, "Bro, this is amazing. It looks just like real."

"Yeah, it is kind of amazing, isn't it?" Gordon says. "Making stuff with your own hands. Food, especially, since you get to eat it."

Not to mention it smells amazing. It's the same difference with city air versus forest air, freshly baked food trumps microwaved stuff by a landslide. Pink bubbles out of their mouth as they look back at Gordon. "Ahhhhh FUCK, I love it. I love you so much."

The loveliest shade of red-orange smooths over Gordon's cheeks as they say that, his smile as warm as the summer sun. "I love you too, Benrey," he says.

For a moment they just gaze at each other, too fond for words, before Benrey turns back to stare at the bread, just barely catching sight of Gordon wiggling out of the blanket. Something about staring at certain things is so deeply satisfying in a way they can't explain, and they need to observe this bread or their head will explode. Only once they notice Gordon getting up to check on the ice cream do they manage to tear their gaze away from it.

Benrey follows him, their hands resting on his back as they stand up on their tiptoes to peer over his shoulder. Behind them, Benny picks up the blanket Gordon left behind, folding it up before using it as cushioning to sit down where Gordon just was.

"Grab some of those," Gordon nods towards the pink orbs still floating in the air as he holds out the bowl of soon-to-be love flavored ice cream. "I'm so fucking curious to see how this'll work."

The pearl of sweet voice is wet to the touch as Benrey plucks it out of the air, like grabbing a popsicle directly instead of using the stick. They don't mind it, though. Bringing a few over, they hold their hands out over the top of the ice cream, squeezing to get the bubbles to pop. The resulting goopy liquid pours out of their hands to coat the frozen treat like syrup. Once it's thoroughly drenched, Benrey pulls their hands back, licking the remnants of the pink from their hands.

"Wheeze the juice… remix time?" Benrey asks, looking down at the now thoroughly pink frozen treat, the sweet voice slowly seeping into the mixture. "Or it is good?"

They, admittedly, don't know a lot considering they weren't allowed to experiment like this, and Black Mesa wasn't out there trying to make ice cream. They were more concerned with using it to make drugs, both medicinal and combat oriented, but it never worked out. The effects were either dull or nonexistent because they couldn't figure out how to make the sweet voice last.

Or, that's what Benrey knows about it from Tommy, at least. Who knows, really? Could've been up to all kinds of shit that neither of them knew about. It's a crater in the earth now, though, so they don't care either way. They're more concerned with getting to eat a lot of ice cream right now, though it's going to have to freeze some more to hold the pink in there.

"Gonna have to stir it, I think," Gordon muses. "Get it properly cooled down."

Nodding slowly, Benrey watches Gordon stir the ice cream. The creamy mixture is really pleasing to observe, not at all like what they know of ice cream yet it looks about right anyway. Maybe even better. It is the real deal, after all, not just a drawing in a cartoon.

Once fully mixed, Gordon scoops some up with his finger, popping it into his mouth. Benrey's eyes widen, lips parting as they watch him with an intense interest. Leave it to him to go being so bold, tasting their special ice cream without warning. As the sweet voice takes effect, Gordon's face turns a warm shade of pink, his gaze dark when he looks back at Benrey. A thrill passes through them before they hear him giggle, a stupidly saccharine smile on his face. It's really interesting to see—cute, too, the way it lights up his face and puts a certain perkiness in his posture.

"Yup, it's working alright," he assures them, while they pump their fist in the air. "It'll need a few more hours to set properly, but I think we've just invented love ice cream, bud."

"LOVE ICE CREAM!" they cheer. "That fucking pyro main's got nothing on me. Gonna make my own gun arm potion, ice cream edition. IDIOT. My job now. Don't even need a PhD school."

Once they're done with their dumb little ramble, and once Gordon's put the ice cream away, Benrey steps forward, throwing their arms around him and squeezing. "Love you," they profess, nuzzling into his chest as a low, rumbling purr drifts up out of their chest. "Don't tell anyone but you're in my top two scientists of all time."

Gordon pulls them closer, his nose finding its way into their hair. "Oh yeah? Didn't know you liked Bubby that much," he teases, prompting them to blow a raspberry at him. Bubby would probably be their number three on a very short list of scientists that don't suck massive ass.

Letting that thought trail off, Benrey buries their face in Gordon's chest, where they belong. Sighing contentedly, they indulge in the warmth and plushness of his body for a while before the scent of freshly baked bread hits their nostrils again. Reluctantly, they pull back.

"Sammy time," they mumble, leaning up to kiss Gordon's cheek before heading back for the bread. Enthusiastic, they grab the pan, along with a knife to cut it with, and deliver it over to the table where Benny hops down to help. The blanket gets moved to the seat Gordon was in earlier before Benny starts setting out the jam and butter from the fridge. The mess from earlier is gone, cups cleaned up and returned to the cabinets. Neither of them know what else to do with the bread beyond this.

Something occurs to Benrey suddenly, and by association, Benny as well. The skeleton makes a move for the pantry, removing a bag of mini-marshmallows, some peanut butter, and a box of salty crackers, adding that to the table as well. "Yessss," Benrey says, like some kind of mad scientist. Some ground cinnamon is added afterwards, to which Benrey adds, "YEAH! Go WILD go CRAZY!"

This is so much fun. It's almost a shame they have to cut up the bread—almost. They're excited to get to taste it, not really sure what makes up a proper sandwich, but who cares about limitations like "recipes" and "what normal people do", they want to fuck around. Find those easter eggs, those secrets.

Benrey sits with their legs crossed waiting for Gordon to join them, greeting him with a tooth-filled smile on their face when he does.

"Try not to explode from sugar overdosing," he comments, adding some ham, cheese, and the smallest tomatoes Benrey's ever seen to the collection of food at the table. "At least you can't get diabetes."

Benrey responds to his teasing with more dismissive, childish gibberish before descending upon the bread, which Gordon cuts up into slices for them. First, they take a bite with absolutely nothing on it, curious about its default state. In comparison to a cheap, store bought slice of bread it's far fluffier, less flimsy and overall tastier. It's so much better that they already want to cry.

Benny copies their every move with about a fifteen second lag, as Benrey runs through a series of taste experiments; jam and butter like the scones, either and both. Foolproof, it all tastes amazing, so fluffy and thick that it has Benrey's lashes fluttering with bliss.

They remember not to speak with their mouth full, swallowing down their treat before stating, "Bro the fuck this is SO good. Do you live like this? Just get to bake shit? Eat shit? Whatever you want? WHOLE life?"

The thought is incomprehensible to Benrey. Twenty-six years is already so much time, literally their whole life. They'd be such a spoiled asshole if they'd gotten to eat this way for the twenty-two years they've spent on Earth. Slept in a nice bed, watched the sun rise and fall every day. Worn comfortable clothes. Taken baths that make their hair and body smell nice. Is this normal?

Their mind dangerously teeters along the edge of slipping into some upsetting territories, so Benrey swiftly yanks it back out by folding a slice of bread over some marshmallows and peanut butter before taking a huge bite. Their face lights up, eyes growing big and glimmering with interest as the taste washes over their tongue. Chewing slowly, they feel as though the marshmallows aren't spread out enough and move around in their mouth too much, but when the taste hits just right it HITS.

Once they've swallowed, Benrey turns to look at Benny, who swiftly finishes off their sandwich with a burst of green sweet voice. "Bro we a genius," Benrey says, feeling a little like they're talking to themself, but, Gordon does that shit all the time, so who cares.

Benrey is about to tear into the rest of their sandwich when they catch sight of Gordon's entering into their field of vision.

"Trade a bite with me?" he asks, holding out his ham, cheese, and tomato sandwich their way. They were going to replicate it eventually, but a trade makes it even more special. An indirect kiss, Benrey's pretty sure it's called. 'Bouta put their lips on something his lips have touched.

That's when a bulb lights up in Benrey's brain, and they lean forward to take a decently sized bite of Gordon's sandwich directly from his hand. A thrill passes through them at the fact that Gordon's basically hand feeding them, before they lean back, slowly chewing with wide, sparkling eyes.

The taste is familiar, a lot like some lunches they've had in the past that they just shoved down their throat and didn't think very much about, because they were usually weirdly rubbery. This, though? This is like if you took those gross lunches and supercharged them. HD remix, Master Quest. That rubbery feeling is completely gone, replaced with a delightful savory taste sensation with fluffy, smooth bread.

"Oh my GOD," Benrey blurts with their mouth still full, immediately clamping a hand over their lips to cover up their rudeness. "Sorry," they say once they're done chewing. "That's SO good, why didn't I think of that. Bro what the fuck I'm gonna—I'm gonna shit, I'm gonna LOSE IT." Now their mind is reeling with so many more possibilities. "Can I fry an egg on this thing? Egg bread?"

A wide smile splits across Gordon's face. "You are really having the time of your life right now, huh?" he says. "Sure bud, we can do that. I think I saw some bacon in the fridge, we can add that and really blow your mind."

With a slight quirk of his lips, Gordon grasps onto their wrist, bringing their marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich up to his mouth to take a bite. As they feel his lips graze against their fingertips, their mind begins to race.

For so long Benrey had been unable to care about much of anything, shuffling about accepting whatever they were given, or not given, without thought. They played but didn't have fun. They were becoming more comfortable but couldn't relax. Going through the motions. Testing without reward. And they kept going, like it was all a test, and they couldn't find it in them to think about what it all meant. Not like it mattered, not like anything mattered.

The first time they'd acted out around Tommy, it wasn't met with punishments, or even disapproval. He laughed. And the feeling that sent coursing through Benrey's veins was one they hadn't felt since they were a child: joy. He'd given them what the other scientists never did. A reward.

"I'll give you this," Gordon says, licking the peanut butter from his lips. "Much better than I expected. You're really getting the hang of this."

The praise just sends Benrey over the edge. Another reward, they think, as they turn fully towards him and raise halfway to their feet, grasping Gordon's face and dragging him into a searing kiss that pushes a startled noise out of his throat, his hands coming up to cradle their head. They can taste so many things on his lips that they end up chuckling when they pull away.

Wrapping their arms around his shoulder, they climb into his lap, pressing their cheek against his and affectionately nuzzling him. "Love you," they say. "Feel so BIG right now. Top'a the world, gonna beat Dark Souls without dying."

"My big strong boyfriend," Gordon teases, his beard scratching their cheek as he nuzzles back.

Leaning away, Benrey says, "Hey, Polly—Polly wanna—gimme cracker sammy I wanna know how it feels. Feed me pleeeeeease."

Gordon laughs. "Bread on bread, you're really breaking all the rules here."

Benrey grins, idly humming green as Gordon preps another sandwich. They don't bother watching, instead leaning forward to press their lips to his cheek before trailing down to his neck, keeping it chaste and fluffy, for now. Once Gordon's done they lean back again, chuckling and calling him a nerd before taking a sizable bite of the sandwich, teeth grazing Gordon's fingertips and drawing a shudder out of him.

It's a little messy, requiring them to hold a hand up under their chin to catch the crumbs. Gordon watches as their mouth works, his eyes growing darker and breath a bit heavier. Adding peanut butter was a really good call, and works well with the saltiness of the crackers, softening them up to work more harmoniously together. Even better with the bread being so thick, so it doesn't completely fall apart in the process. It's no peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich but it's good anyway, a delicious salty taste that has them moaning in appreciation.

It must suck so hard to be a human—eating is an amazing thing, but they have so many problems in regards to it, all of which Benrey totally lacks. Can just keep going so long as supplies last. Though they'll get a grip on it soon enough, can't eat all the food when Gordon actually needs it to live.

"Rules were MADE to be broken bay-bee," Benrey cheers upon swallowing down their bread-on-bread (with peanut butter) sandwich. "I'm rude now. I do crimes now. Food crimes, feet crimes, I'm unstoppable." Placing their hands against the sides of Gordon's neck, they lean in to kiss him again, transferring the taste of peanut butter and salt alongside the faintest hint of green apples.

- ♡ -

Watching Benrey eat is starting to awaken something in Gordon. Heat boils in his stomach, mind wandering down some rather salacious paths. Even if shoving everything off the table so he can take Benrey right here and now sounds fun in theory, he'd probably regret wasting all that food for a quick fuck on the table. Besides, after Benrey spent so much time indulging in his desires this morning, he's in the mood to do something for them. One idea in particular stands out as both interesting and manageable. It just requires some prep.

Benrey's kiss almost shatters his resolve. How can he wait even a second when Benrey kisses him like that? All he cares about is getting his mouth back on Benrey's, to get to lick into their mouth, chasing that apple-green taste that sends sparks of joy bursting throughout his chest. But he has to calm down. If he indulges too much, he'll lose focus on the plan slowly forming in his mind. 

"Crime boy," Gordon breathes as he presses more kisses to the side of Benrey's mouth, cleaning up some of the crumbs left there. "Going to jail for tasting too good."

A toothy grin parts Benrey's lips in between kisses, tangling their fingers in Gordon's hair and chuckling at his comment about their taste. "Gettin' frisky, huh?" Benrey teases between kisses. "Gonna end up in horny jail."

Once they've finally parted, it's for Benrey to insist he try the cracker sandwich. "Take a bite. Co-op, two player mode."

Amused, he decides to go ahead and humor them, the crackers crunching under his teeth. Having something so crunchy on top of soft bread is strange, but the taste isn't bad. "Huh. That's actually pretty good. You might be onto something here," he says. "You want to try something else, or are you done for now?"

- ♡ -

Benrey licks their lips as their eyes flick down Gordon's face, watching him taste the cracker sandwich. There's something weirdly satisfying about watching people eat, or some people anyway. For the most part, though, they're pleased to be sharing something fun with him, pleased that he's pleased by it. With a soft smile, Benrey leans forward, pressing their lips to his cheek before nuzzling against him, indulging in that feeling of skin on skin and that interesting tickle of his beard. The sensation is much less scratchy without the ability to feel pain.

At his question, they pull back to ponder their response, their eyes sliding over to the table where they consider their options. The cinnamon is something they haven't tried yet, but it's not much to play with on its own. Maybe it would work better as an ingredient mixed into the bread itself, cinnamon bread? They'll ask Gordon about that later, whenever they make bread again. Because they will, at some point in the future, even if it's not anytime soon.

"I'm out of ideas," Benrey admits, leaning their forehead against Gordon's. There's still the tea to finish, but other than that they're not sure what else to try. Not without futzing about in the kitchen some more, but they kinda want a break from cooking for now. Save it until dinner. They run their hand across Gordon's cheek, brushing his bangs back behind his ear as their eyes flick over his face appreciatively.

"I'm gonna go up and have a quick shower," Gordon says. "Think I can still feel flour on me. I'll be back before you know it."

As Gordon moves them back onto their own chair, Benrey lets out a whine of complaint. Pushing to his feet, he pats Benny's skull, coaxing a pink to yellow stream of light out of their mouth that has Benrey smiling and swinging their legs. As they watch him move around—his ass looks amazing in the tight pants they filled his wardrobe with—they grow curious, wondering why he grabs his boots and leather jacket from the living room first.

Behind them, Benny has already gotten up to put everything away, including the blanket. It's as they're busy with that that Benrey comes to a conclusion. If Gordon grabbed his jacket and boots, that must mean he's getting ready to go hang out in the backyard! That, or he's cleaning up his boots, keeping 'em all shiny, might as well take his jacket while he's at it, get it folded up and tucked away. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Feeling proud of their deductive reasoning, Benrey heads into the living room where their bag has been left in an armchair. Benny's bag has rejoined it, devoid of all the food they'd brought but not everything else, items which are hidden in black bags tied twice at the bottom. Though Benrey knows full well exactly what's in there anyway, and it brings a smirk to their lips.

They're about to flop down on the couch and play more Breath of the Wild when they hear Gordon's voice calling to them from upstairs. "Benrey, can you come up here for a second?"

"Rain check," they mumble to Benny. Taking the steps two at a time, Benrey heads for Gordon's location, all signs pointing to their bedroom. They've decided it's for the two of them now, anyway. Not expecting much beyond possibly getting to see Gordon naked—NICE—Benrey's hardly paying attention as they walk through the door.

"What's up fr—Oh. Fuck."

Chapter Text

Instantly upon entering the bedroom, Benrey's eyes land upon Gordon perched on the edge of the bed. He sits with a wide stance, looking like he's about to drape them over his knee and spank them, the thought sending a shiver down their spine. Golden eyes slowly rake over every inch of him, from the bird skull necklace worn atop his low-collar black t-shirt and leather jacket, down to his ripped black jeans and those big, meaty boots of his that make Benrey's body all hot and tingly. Snapping back up towards his face, they catch sight of his smudged black eyeliner, his hair let loose around his shoulders, big, wild, untamed.

He looks like he's part of some dad-rock metal band, a look Benrey's been emulating, in a way, for quite some time now. They have the face for it, the hair for it, and they'd never expected to be saying the same for Gordon. But here he is, making their mouth dry out and their knees weak. This is why groupies form.

Taking a slow breath, Benrey gathers their wits about them. They still don't know why he called them up, unless it was to ask their opinion, or… their eyes trail down to the boots. Heats shoot through them at all the ideas this gives them, dick twitching with interest.

"Wow," they breathe, weirdly nervous. With a slow breath, their tongue darts out, wetting their lips. Their brain is registering a dominant aura emanating from Gordon, and it's making them want to drop to their knees and suck him off. Their fingers flex against the door handle, slowly, absently prying their fingers away and kicking the door closed behind them. "You copycatting my style bro?" The lighthearted, humorous tone they wanted doesn't quite come through, instead sounding low and breathless.

"Like what you see?" Gordon drawls, smoothly pushing to his feet as the air grows tense with anticipation. The urge to nod vigorously is there, but Benrey can't quite get themself to move. Their eyes just keep swapping between the boots and the eyeliner, giving him this devil-may-care, wicked look that reeks of trouble. And just like they said earlier, they're all about trouble now. "Thought I'd give you a treat. Though most of this is stuff you picked out for me. Which must mean…"

He pauses, stepping into their space with a few measured strides.

"…You've been thinking about this."

A hand lands on Benrey's shoulder, startling a low noise out of them. He pushes gently, leaning in by their ear where his hot breaths send a shiver down their spine.

"Kneel."

Benrey drops to their knees like a leaden weight. This puts their face right by his crotch, mouth watering at the sight. Their mind runs wild with thoughts of putting their mouth on him. As Gordon tips their head back, they sharply inhale, chewing their bottom lip and staring down toward his hand with a dizzy look in their eyes. They feel so small being handled like this, in a good way.

A low whine sounds in the back of their throat as Gordon shoves their knees apart with his boot, cock swelling against the tight fabric of their pants. "Hands on the floor behind you," Gordon commands, and they do so immediately, the position putting their body on display for him, the concept hopelessly arousing. Though this puts them farther from Gordon's dick, and their mind is too hazy to figure out what else he intends to—

The boot slamming down on the floor between their legs forces a flinch out of them, gaze snapping down towards it. "Oh, shit," they groan. Everything slots into place very suddenly. If they weren't hard before, they're rock hard now, trembling with want and curling their fingers into the carpet.

"We're using the stoplight system," Gordon tells them, his tone strict and mean, just how they like it. "You're gonna keep your hands on the ground unless I tell you otherwise. You have permission to speak as much as you want, though, I want to hear you. Lastly, I'm gonna use some force, but if you feel like I'm about to injure you, use your safeword. I don't care if you can heal yourself, there's gonna be nothing seriously harmful in this scene. Those are my terms. Repeat them and add anything you think is necessary." Pausing for a second the scowl on Gordon’s face breaks as a grin appears on his lips. "Oh, and call me sir."

All those words would be harder to follow if Benrey couldn't go back through them in their mind in perfect clarity. They spend time going over it, memorizing it, forming their own opinions. Though hearing that last tidbit get added has them drawing in a shaky breath—they would have defaulted to that anyway, but having it as a command makes it even more tantalizing.

With a slow nod, they begin to speak. "Stoplights," they start, growing breathless already. "Hands on the ground, get to—gotta be noisy. Call you sir. And—Uh—"

The only thing they're having trouble with is the pain part. Maybe that's bad, though, that they want Gordon's big bad boot to crush them until they can feel ribs breaking, press down on their throat until they can't think from the lack of oxygen, step on their skull until they're afraid he might kill them. What does that say about them…?

Oh, right. They don't care what it says about them.

"Red if—if I'm taking damage," Benrey finally says. Gordon's rules feel pretty thorough and it takes a solid moment before they find anything they want to add. "Be—Can you. I want. If you're gonna be mean I want you to stay mean, it's… I get confused and weird. Please? Sir?"

Suddenly, there's a boot pressing into their chest, something between a gasp and a whimper tearing out of them.

"You want mean, freak?" A thrill passes through them at Gordon's words, nodding so eagerly their hair bounces. He shoves them back, leaving behind a trail of rust sweet voice as their back hits the floor. "I'll give you mean."

There's a chorus of yes yes yes yes yes overriding all other thoughts in their mind. They have no idea what brought this on, what made him decide to do this of all things, but they don't care to find out, keeping their legs parted wide for him as their cock strains against the confines of their tight pants.

The boot laid against their chest presses down harder as Gordon kneels over them, the increased pressure making it difficult to breathe. So focused are they on the boot that they don't see it coming as Gordon's palm comes down on their cheek, slapping them hard enough for the sound to fill the air, mixed with their startled cry of pain. That goes right between their legs, too.

"I'm gonna put you in your fucking place," Gordon growls, harshly gripping Benrey's chin and turning their face until they're forced to look at him. "Like the bitch you are."

Trying to control their breaths fails as each one comes out loud and unsteady, even worse with Gordon in the center of their vision, looking so aggressive. They make a really pathetic sound at sight of him, the anticipation of what he'll do next overwhelming their senses.

"Yeah," they groan. "I'm a bitch, you gotta—gotta, gotta hurt me, sir, teach me a lesson…"

Benrey's attention is fully focused on Gordon, yet still his every move comes as a total surprise, mind struggling to keep up. Which is exactly how they want it. His next slap forces a cry of pain and pleasure alike out of them, their head snapping to the side. A burst of adrenaline and fire crashes over them.

A sneer twists Gordon's features, and he spits right in the center of their face. That's nearly their death knell, driving them dangerously close to creaming their pants, balls tight and cock dripping as their hips shove forward outside their control. Their thighs are taut with the effort it takes not to fruitlessly hump the air, claws tight enough to start tearing threads out of the carpet. Dark blue drifts out of their open mouth, some of it dripping out of their mouth and onto the floor, pulling them back from the edge.

"Disgusting. You really get off on this?" Gordon mocks, despite the comically obvious bulge in his pants. The sight makes their mouth water.

"I lovveee itttt," Benrey drunkenly responds. "Please—"

They don't know what they're asking for other than more, but their words die in their throat as Gordon starts to move. His boot drags up over their torso, dragging their top up with the rubber sole to reveal their chest, the boot rough against their skin and making their stomach do flips. They groan, low and loud, trying their best to keep an eye on it even at such an awkward angle, rubber scraping against skin and causing minor friction burns.

When the tip of his boot reaches their chin, they obediently tip their head back, the metal loop on their choker jostled by the movement. Even that tease of a boot against their neck has them freezing completely, nothing but their chest heaving with each breath as they wait to see what he'll do. Their throat bobs as they swallow down a rust colored bubble, breathing deeply in anticipation.

"Maybe I should put you on a leash," Gordon cruelly muses. "Keep you tied up in the back of the van so I can use you whenever I want."

Gordon's suggestion has another surge of heat and arousal crashing over them, burning them from the inside out. "Fuck," they breathe, unable to stop their hips from pushing forward again, into nothing. The suggestion blends with another Gordon's made before, about putting a toy in them to keep them entertained, and their body trembles with desire, legs squirming as the fantasy goes straight to their aching cock.

It just makes it so much more powerful when Gordon finally moves again, tipping their head to the side. Their eyes widen, head turning towards the carpet as they struggle to look up at the boot pressing down over their cheek, the soft flesh squishing and distorting under the pressure.

"Holy shit," they breathe, unable to believe what's happening. Their thighs tense, toes curling, struggling against the urge to jack themself off.

"Is this what you wanted?" Gordon taunts, arousal tingling up the back of their skull as their breaths stutter and rust bubbles out of their mouth like they're drowning. "To be a bug under my shoe? You're such a fucking freak."

"Yesssss," they agree, voice thick with arousal. "I'm disguting, I'm a freak, feels so good—crush me, please, I'm nothing, please please please…" They squeak out another rust bubble as his boot presses down harder, burning their skin as he twists the rubber against their cheek.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

There's a thank you on the tip of their tongue when suddenly the boot is pulled away. They whine, claws scrabbling at the carpet in their struggle to keep from grabbing him and pulling him back. "Come on, bro, please?" When he doesn't answer their whining, their body falls back against the ground in frustration.

Though they're only left complaining for a short while before the rubber of his sole presses against their neck, sharply inhaling as Gordon pushes down with his full weight. Their body reacts in a panic, but they fight against it, tipping their head back in an act of submission. The urge to thank him returns, but they don't feel as if they could speak without croaking a bunch of gross nonsense, already reduced to high-pitched, wheezy noises as his boot crushes their throat.

The lack of oxygen has their brain shorting out, darkness overtaking their spinning vision and they close their eyes against it, letting themself fade until all they can do is feel. Outside their control, their thighs struggle to rub against their aching cock, anything to relieve the pressure and bring themself closer to release.

A choked out stream of pink and red and rust drip out of their mouth as Gordon forces their head back up by the chin. Long, dark lashes flutter open, struggling to latch onto his face, which is much closer than before. 

"Look at me," he commands, his every word hard to follow. Dizzily, they glance over his features, having trouble focusing on any specific point. "No, look me in the eyes, Benrey."

Yellow drips out of their mouth to replace the sweet voice that's faded away, panic churning in their stomach, yet the urge to obey is too powerful to resist. Benrey forces their gaze to flick up to Gordon's left eye. He has such beautiful eyes, not that they can see them very clearly right now. But they can't enjoy much of what they actually can see when Gordon's looking back. The direct eye contact has Benrey's body heating up uncomfortably, tears stinging their eyes the longer they have to do it. It's unbearable.

Their mind grows even more hazy because of it, a series of choked noises tumbling out of them in place of whimpers. At the same time, it stokes the flames burning inside them, shame and humiliation blending with arousal until their every nerve feels like it's on fire.

They can't keep it up. "Oh, god…!" they choke out, head tipping back.

"Listen to me," Gordon says. "I'm not going to touch your pathetic dick until you've cum at least once. And don't even think about touching yourself. Since you wanted this so much you're getting off to only this or not at all. And then, maybe I'll let you rub one out against my boot. It's all you deserve after all."

The degradation hits them hard, whining as much as possible with the boot still pressing down over their throat. Warm fingers twist their nipple, hard, their hips jerking as a choked cry comes out of them that swiftly turns into something resembling a sob as Gordon roughly rubs over it afterwards. They feel small, insignificant; a pesky bug that's been getting on Gordon's nerves, and now he's putting them in their place, right under his heel. The pleasure is insurmountable, his taunts and insults doing a number on them.

It's all so intense, but it's not enough, either. Arousal brews in their gut, pleasure washing over them to settle in their dripping wet cock, head starting to ache—but it feels so good, the realization that they might genuinely pass out causing their stomach to jerk, struggling breaths quickening. There's a word they're supposed to say but all they can think about is how badly they want to cum, just once with his boot blocking the air from reaching their lungs, while everything feels heightened, while nothing else exists.

"Please," Benrey croaks. "More—C-Call—me—"

"Call you what? Want me to call you a pathetic little freak not fit to even lick my boot? A cum dump of a whore who would would do anything to get fucked? A disgusting pervert that's been drooling over me since the day we met? You think I didn't notice, that I could have had you bent over a pipe any time I wanted? It would have been so fucking easy, you were gagging for it the whole way through Black Mesa. You fucking bragged about it, how you were the free use hole for the whole guard team."

"Aahhh—mhmmmhh—" Their whining is incoherent and wheezy, growing especially loud whenever Gordon says something that really gets to them. They're on the verge of cumming all throughout his little rant, getting so close so many times just for those peaks to ease out into valleys. Their whimpering and crying gets louder with their frustration. The ache in their head is also bordering on explosive, to such an extent that they have to lower their ability to feel pain in that area. But they don't want it to stop, not for how intense it's making everything else.

"I bet that's why the soldiers liked you so much," Gordon continues. "Couldn't have me, so you just took every cock you could. Let them all pin you and have their way with you. It's the only way to shut you up after all, to cram a dick down your throat."

Waves of heat and white-hot arousal flash over them in droves, unable to think so everything he says becomes fact. Gordon's voice gets so much closer to their ear, subsequently putting even more weight on the boot pressing down over their throat.

"Ah, but you haven't had mine yet have you? Maybe that's how I'll choke you next, you miserable little freak."

A broken noise escapes them, mouth hanging open with their tongue grazing their lip, salivating at the concept of getting to suck him off. The way he spits miserable little freak has their eyes rolling back and hips jerking up as their cock pulses hard, cumming messily all over the inside of their briefs. Their whole body goes taut with the force of it, vision blacking out, and right as a plum bubble is about to escape their mouth, Gordon's hand closes over it.

Feeling the plum burst and flood their mouth, their eyes pop open, the first thing they see being Gordon's face, the cold darkness in his eyes. As the plum slips down their throat and a dizzying heat bursts across their body, they feel themself quiver and squirm, struggling against him as if they have no control over any of it, a second orgasm hitting them dry.

All their focus narrows in on that, on the pleasure rippling through their body so hard it hurts. Yet even that continues to turn them on, the concept that all they exist for is pleasure. To be given it endlessly by whoever will shower them with that kind of attention. It's been a fantasy of theirs before, something to push them over the edge whenever their solo sessions were running kind of long, getting kind of stale. And Gordon just completely hit the nail on the head.

It's all so overwhelming, everything else slipping away until they realize they're starting to pass out, some part of them beginning to panic, yelling at them to keep some control over their form. Before yellow can start flooding their mouth in place of the plum that's threatening to make them cum again, Benrey just barely manages to form another mouth, somewhere around their collar, that opens and immediately starts humming red in place of a verbal safeword.

When the hand and boot are removed, they immediately begin coughing, sweet voice flying out of their mouth in disjointed patterns, plum and yellow and red with no gradients to blend them. Their body shivers and it hurts to breathe, stinging and raw though the euphoria coursing through their systems dulls the feeling until they hardly care. Like slipping a switch they turn all of that off, the headache, the soreness in their throat, all of it gone in an instant until they're left struggling for air while making strange wheezing noises.

That Gordon has lifted them up off the floor escapes their notice, the vertigo from being lifted so easily mistaken for the dizziness clouding their mind. When at last they crack their eyes open, their gaze settles on Gordon's face as an anchor while the room continues to spin around them. He looks really worried. Might have let the choking thing go too far, Benrey realizes, afraid to mention it lest Gordon be mad at them for it.

"What?" they rasp. His shaking hands are moving over their throat, gently prodding at them to check for injury. He's said something to them, but they haven't heard a single word of it.

"Can you breathe okay?" Gordon asks. "Does anything hurt?"

"Whuh… uh… yeah. Fine," they croak. Even though the pain is gone it's still difficult to speak or breathe, and they wait until their focus isn't shot completely before attempting to hum a specific note. Covering their mouth, they hum teal-green, swallowing slowly so it soothes their throat as it goes back down. Once they're done, breathing comes a lot easier, and they manage a weak, toothy grin for Gordon's sake. "Good. Real good. Just much, lot… was done. Baby now, please? Wanna be babied."

They grasp kittenishly onto the front of his shirt, gently pulling on the fabric.

"Of course, babe." 

- ♡ -

Guilt churns Gordon's stomach as he gazes down at Benrey's dazed expression, their body alarmingly limp in his grasp. Benrey isn't as slick as they think they are, neither about their lie over being fine nor their covered up heal. Shame washes over him as he realizes that they must think they did something wrong, despite it being him who pushed them too far. Who watched them choke and struggle against him and felt a sick sense of satisfaction over it. It was him who'd put down the hard limit of avoiding serious harm and it had still been him who had broken it.

And he had taken away Benrey's ability to safeword while he was at it. Sure, they still managed it with a second mouth, but they shouldn't have had to. It's wrong on so many levels and it makes him want to cry. So much for doing it by the book.

At least there's no permanent damage. Mistakes like these are a much easier fix for them than emotional harm. This isn't going to be a repeat of the pier. They're letting Gordon take care of them, asking for it, even. It soothes some of Gordon's worry away, washes away the dread and guilt. It's okay, they're okay. It was intense, but they're okay.

Gently lifting them up, Gordon carries them to the bed, laying them down before carefully reaching behind their neck to unlatch the collar. When it slips off he finds their neck free of bruises, but that doesn't stop him from bending down to press soft kisses into their skin.

"I love you, Benrey. You did so good. Want me to take off your clothes? We can snuggle, take a nap. Or do you want a bath? Anything's good, man, whatever you want."

Gordon holds off on apologizing for now. There's a time and a place for debriefing and it's not now. Right now, it's time for some tenderness and love, needs to ensure Benrey feels loved and cared for.

- ♡ -

As they're lifted, Benrey curls close to Gordon's chest, too tired to do much more than clutch onto the front of his shirt. The press of his body feels so nice, so comforting, that when he lays them down they continue to cling to him, wanting him closer. When the collar comes off they breathe a sigh of relief, not even realizing how constricting it was. The kisses along their throat pull a soft chuckle from them, a warm, fuzzy feeling washing over them.

It's then that they realize they're still hard, though rapidly softening as they lie there, taking slow, deep breaths and letting Gordon soothe them. They turn their head towards him, a hand loosely raised to rest along the side of his neck as he peppers their face with kisses, too. He's so sweet, and this time around they're ready for it. Using the safeword had been, in part, to signal to him that they wanted him to break character, that they were ready to have that emptiness inside them filled with something kind.

"Want hold. Please," Benrey responds, still a little raspy. They tug at Gordon's jacket. "Take… shirt off? Pretty please? An' mine." That's the most they can manage to get out before finally letting themself resume catching their breath, carefully managing it to be slower and longer so they don't overwhelm their already oxygen deprived brain.

"Of course," Gordon says. Tossing off his jacket, he carefully slips their crop top off over their head, only hesitating for a moment before wriggling them out of their pants as well, leaving them in nothing but black briefs with little gray bats all over them. Their skin has turned blue in some places, the shape of a boot marring their ashen skin.

A lazy smile wobbles on Benrey's face, worn out and content as the love of their life tends to their needs. What's better than this? They're lounging in a cozy bed, getting pampered after having some of their greatest kinks come to life, all without even having to ask to be stepped on by a hot man in big, angry boots and smudged eyeliner.

Though dizzy still, Benrey's vision is considerably better now, and they stare up at Gordon as he undresses down to his briefs, before helping them get situated. His wild mane of hair pairs perfectly with the smudged eyeliner, even better with those dark undereye bags he's had ever since Benrey reunited with him at Black Mesa. He might be a sweetheart but he's also a bit edgy when he wants to be. Big… cuddly black bear.

Their heart swells with tenderness, unable to believe they'd gotten lucky enough not just to see him again, but for him to return their feelings like this. Not to mention he's kinky as shit, so Benrey feels like they've just won the lottery, a wicked grin forming on their lips before exhaustion has them letting it go.

As they're positioned to lay against Gordon's ample chest, his limbs wrapped around them and the duvet pulled over their bodies, Benrey buries their face into the crook of Gordon's neck. A slender hand strokes the hairs on his chest, soothed by the repetitive motion, and once they've got their legs tangled with his they go totally limp.

"There, all cozied up," Gordon says. He presses a kiss to the top of their head, his free hand coming up to gently rub their throat. "You were amazing, did everything I told you. I love you so, so much."

Gordon's praise and gentle touches send euphoria surging through Benrey's body, curling up tighter and wrapping their arms around his shoulders to bring themself as close to him as possible without clipping inside him. A gentle purr rumbles up through their chest.

For a while they just want to do nothing, be nothing as they settle down from their high, indulging in Gordon's body pressed against theirs. Eventually, strength returns to them in full, and they raise up to press a tender kiss to Gordon's cheek.

"That was…" Benrey lacks the kind of eloquent vocabulary that people a lot smarter than them, like people with PhDs in theoretical phsyics for instance, possess, which is why they end up saying, "…Epic. Fucked my brains out and you didn't even have to fuck me to do it. They teach you that in PhD school?" They lean forward to kiss him, not quite done with their gushing now that they have the ability to speak clearly again. "Gonna return the favor later. Want that, the cock in my mouth part. Mmmm delicious. Won't see it coming, surprise dick slurping."

The distressed sound Gordon makes as he tugs them closer catches them by surprise. "Oh thank God! I thought I fucked up, that I hurt you," he says. "I'm sorry, I—I should have pulled off earlier, it was stupid and irresponsible of me."

As he pulls back to brush his fingertips over their throat, all they can do is stare blankly at him, blinking slowly. They'd been joking around, said something stupid about slurping on his dick and—is he crying? What's going on??

"I know you had to heal yourself, please don't feel bad about that, that's on me," he continues. "I got distracted, you looked so fucking amazing like that and—and I let it go too far. I'm sorry. I wanted to give you this as a gift, and… I'm sorry. I'll do better next time, I promise!"

Listening to his words, Benrey finds themself even more perplexed. They have to examine everything he says over and over, prolonging their response.

"Why are you… huh?" Benrey eventually says. Hadn't they seemed happy? They'd smiled so much, that's human facial expression for "happy", right? "Bro it was soooooo good. I told you, I love that shit, all of it. It's—I nearly passed out, that's why I called it. Just wanted to cum first, it's okay. Wasn't scared or anything I just had enough."

They push Gordon flat against the bed, taking his hand in theirs to pull it away from their neck where they press kisses all over his fingers. "I loved it, I'm SO happy. Thought you'd think I was disgusting for being into this shit but you're doing it so good." There were some parts they didn't like that much, but they don't want Gordon to freak out when he already thinks he did something wrong. "Don't freak out. You stopped when I wanted so who cares."

Their words appear to have a positive effect on him, a smile forming on his face that just gets goofier as they go along. "Oh—Okay… thank you, Benrey. I—That's all I ever wanted, to make you happy." 

Something about his phrasing is odd to them, but that thought is quickly swept away by the burst of joy washes over them as they stare down him, listening to the relief and satisfaction in his words. He wanted to make them happy! They hope it feels this good every time he says it, putting a smile on their lips as they lean down to kiss him. They lightly squeeze his hand, delighted.

When their kiss breaks, Gordon immediately blurts out, "Wait, you thought I'd find your foot fetish disgusting? Benrey—Babe, the first time we had sex, I begged you to stuff me full of tentacles. If either of us is a freak, it's the one who gets off to the thought of their alien boyfriend growing four stories tall and sucking on him like a lollipop."

Benrey blinks as Gordon begins to laugh, momentarily thrown as they catch up with the slight change in subject. "Whoa," they say. "Rewind. You want me to do what?"

This is something they thought about back on Xen, how fun it would be to pick Gordon up like a little kitten, pet him, kiss his tiny body. Those things have been made a reality since then, but the putting him in their mouth part has yet to happen. They'd brought it up that morning, but glossed over it basically immediately in hopes Gordon wouldn't be put off by it. For them it's about pleasing someone they love, and about having him inside them, more of him than usual, somewhere soft and nice and safe, where they can still hear him, can easily get him back out.

"You're into that? Some soft vore action? Damn, Freakman. Here I'm all ohhhh nooooo he'll hate getting his feet sucked and fucked on and you're over here getting your rocks off to full-body humping my tongue." They click said tongue, as Gordon blinks slowly up at them, apparently not having heard the shit that just came out of his own mouth, his face slowly turning red. "The tentacle shit—that's just my body, bro, it doesn't—it's not that weird to me. But you're tryna tell me you're freaky as hell, OKAY, let's get into it then. Gimme your F-List, live on camera."

A whine escapes Gordon as he tries to hide his face in Benrey's neck. "Nooo, don't kink shame me. I'm opening up for you here man, being all vulnerable and shit. It's not my fault that the internet got me into all kinds of weird stuff. And, also, my feet are part of MY body! And, like, so many more people have feet and foot fetishes than are into tentacles… I mean, there are more now with hentai being a thing on the internet but I still say feet are more vanilla."

"Uhhh, booo. Boooooo. You're vanilla, bro."

"Oh, you wanna have a kink-off, bro? Because I promise you I'm the weirder one. I've grown up on the internet. I've seen some shit!"

Gordon's responses are so funny and, at times, adorable that Benrey almost neglects to realize what they've just walked into—up until Gordon directly prompts them to speak on it. It's all fun and games when they're bullying him for wanting to fuck their tongue in a way most people wouldn't think of. It's another thing entirely when the tables get turned on them.

And, well, Benrey's been on the internet too, though they haven't grown up on it so there's bound to be a lot they've missed. Tentacles are the most obvious thing, that and tricking people into googling websites of old men fucking each other. Actually, now that they think about it, they're not entirely sure their kinks are any weirder than whatever Gordon has up his sleeve.

This might have been a mistake, but Benrey's not about to back down. Folding their arms over Gordon's chest, they lay their head down, staring off into space as they ponder their response. "You wanna get out there, huh?" they start, stalling for time as their brain works sluggishly.

They hadn't thought of tentacles being all that weird purely because they have them, and for the purpose of using them to fuck people, not to mention there's so much porn of it anyway. If not for the kinds of reactions they'd gotten from nearly everyone they wouldn't have thought being attracted to feet was weird either. So what's weird?

Chapter Text

The playful nature of their conversation puts Gordon at ease, his hands rubbing over Benrey's back where they're laid against his chest. Though being cute and lovely-dovey with Benrey is amazing, teasing and bickering is the core of their relationship. It's fun and it makes them both laugh, just as it's done since the beginning. If things back at the test chamber hadn't gone sideways, Gordon likes to think this playfulness would've made them friends in the end.

The challenge he's posed is one he's confident he'll win, without a doubt. Benrey showed their hand already, listing off a bunch of shit they're capable of doing, and clearly want to do. All of which are things Gordon's into, or willing to try under the right circumstances. If that's the best they can do, he's going to win by a landslide.

And then they open their mouth.

"A guard fucked me with a loaded gun once." Their words wash over him like a bucket of cold water. "Uh—Was three guards actually. Two of them held me down and I was suckin' one of them and they were threatening me with knives and talking about killing me and it was—really fucking hot. So I got a death kink. Your move bucko."

When Gordon originally posed this kink-off, he'd expected some freaky shit. It's Benrey after all. But now, he's realizing a fatal flaw in his plan; namely, that he'd neglected to consider the circumstances Benrey's lived through, and the way it's shaped their worldview. The worst part is that he can't even be sure that what they're talking about was a scene, if the guards knew Benrey is functionally immortal.

But then again, that's Gordon thinking like a human again. Maybe that was the reason Benrey liked it so much. If pain is optional and death is just a pause button, maybe fucking on the edge of it isn't as weird as Gordon thinks it is. It's another shift in perspective, a part of Benrey that he'll have to accept, even if it goes against much of what he thinks he knows and understands.

"I, uh… fuck, Benrey, you really didn't build towards that at all, huh?"

"What, so you can drop softcore vore unannounced but I can't bring up gunfuck gangbang hour without warning? Kinda messed up, Freeman," Benrey says, their fingers curling through his chest hairs.

"Man, come on, give me a fucking break. You're supposed to start games like this with something easy," Gordon complains.

"Whuh? Oh, you want baby mode? You a little uhhhh, chicken hat?"

"Shut up. Absolutely not," Gordon argues. "I can come up with something."

Though with something as intense as a death kink, it's hard for Gordon to come up with a fetish to match. Especially when Benrey's gone and brought up things they've actually done. Thing is, Gordon does not have that kind of experience, having lived a fairly normal life messing around in college like everybody else. But apparently working on the Black Mesa security team is one big orgy every other weekend, according to Benrey. In comparison, the kinks Gordon's got have been mostly fantasies, porn searches, and some more out-there toys. Though, there was one time…

"I had a threesome once," he blurts. Trying to keep his cool so he doesn't sound like a repressed nerd fumbling his way through such an embarrassing story is tough, and Benrey can probably see right through him. "It was… back in college. I, I kinda… okay, so, I was hooking up with this guy, it wasn't anything serious. Then one day he asked if he could bring a friend next time we hung out. Turned out that friend was kinda cute and one thing led to another. Though he was kind of a dick, but his friend wasn't so bad… so, uh, yeah."

The more he thinks on that story, the more embarrassing it gets. None of them had known how to maneuver around each other with so many people present, not to mention that he came embarrassingly quick with so much stimulation going on. Having two sets of hands on him, not to mention listening to two other guys getting it on, it was… a lot to deal with.

But Benrey doesn't seem to think this at all, because all they say is, "That it?" Before Gordon can pull himself out of his memories to formulate a response to that, they continue, "'S pretty vanilla."

"Wh—Just because it didn't have any guns involved didn't make it vanilla!"

"Nah," Benrey smoothly responds. "That's like, a normal. Basic threesome setup. Do that at parties, weekend party, drinking lots and some guys just start kissing. Whip out your dicks. S'funny, everybody loves it. Unless you're like home of phobic but there's not a lot of women, bro, at—they don't hire hotted boobs on the guards some reason so you gotta get at least a lil' gay."

"Man, I cannot—There's no fucking way it was just, gay shit all the time for the guards." Benrey shrugs, as if to say, what can you do? "Goddamn, I signed up for the wrong fucking position…"

"Yeah, man. Come find me, get your dick sucked for free," Benrey says, making a lewd gesture with their hands as they do. "Don't hang around… dusty old biddies."

"'Biddies'?" Gordon repeats with a startled laugh.

"Yeah, get you some… titties instead," Benrey says. "You know what… here's mine. Step it up. What I like… s'pretty hot, in the… uh, the, the locker rooms? Windows—Mirror. Some guy pushes you right up against one and rails you and you can watch yourself be all…" They pause, taking an unsteady breath as their gaze averts, eyes growing darker. "Messed. And he watches you too, and you can watch him, but, uh, I'm—I'm watching me. It's weird, good—real good. Makes it, like, real. Oh and… pictures. Video, audio. Same thing. Get me on Candid Camera… turns me on like Nintendo Gamecube."

Benrey's rambling is a little hard for Gordon to follow, but he thinks he gets the gist of it. Being watched or filmed, he can definitely see how that’s a turn on. But it’s kinda hard making that first option come true unless they bring the skeleton up here to watch and… well Gordon isn’t sure he likes Benny that much yet. The other option, though… 

"So," he says, resting his head closer to Benrey's, where their noses brush together, "You think we should get a camera or something? I can get into that."

It takes a moment before Benrey responds, as they start nuzzling into him like a cat who simply cannot resist headbutting someone's hand. "Mmnh? Whuh? Yeah… Oh, yeah. I had one… but it got, uh, yeeted. Didn't get to keep anything, s'lame, man. Lost all my feet pics."

Gordon lets out a humorous scoff. "Oh no, whatever will you do without those?"

"Whatever, though. I'll get another. Got that itchy trigger finger… for camera shutter. Click click." They pause to nuzzle him some more, and he returns the affectionate gesture with a laugh that draws a low purr out of them. "Hey, u-turn. Reverse card. Gimme another kink, Freakman."

"Oh, uh. Okay… uh, how about… oh, I've played around with some knotted toys before," he says. "You know, the dildos they make to look like werewolves and tentacles and stuff like that? I kinda got into that whole fantasy toy scene in college. Couldn't afford any of them back then, but I had a really long wishlist. When I got my first paycheck from Black Mesa, I splurged on a few."

That sense of accomplishment he'd gotten from finally having enough funds to afford some silicone in funny shapes brings a smile to his face.

"I had this tentacle one," he continues, "Suckers and everything. My favorite had this nice, big knot at the end, had to train for like a week before I could take it to the base." The memory has his face warming, his cock chubbing up and prompting Benrey to glance down. They chew on their lip as he keeps going. "But what I really wanted was one of those ones with the inflatable knot, where you can feel it get big inside you. There were even ones that you could make cum in you, but those're hard to use by yourself and Alex wasn't into that stuff. Kinda regret that now. I wanna know how it'd feel, to get pumped full to bloating and then knotted to keep it that way."

Talking about this now makes it a lot easier to forget about the mess that happened earlier, how worried he'd been that he'd seriously hurt Benrey. Now, thinking back on the toys he's used or wanted to use, he can feel his body grow warmer, cock fattening inside his briefs, as Benrey slowly runs their fingers over his bicep.

"Can do that for you," they say.

Gordon stills. "Huh?"

They shift, their thigh pressing up against his bulge and tearing a gasp out of him. "Knot," they clarify.

"You—Wait… you can knot?" A nod is the only response he receives. This new information leaves him giddy with excitement, and he wants to test it out right away. But the part of him that's still reeling from the intensity of their last scene urges him to calm down. "Is that something you can do whenever you want? 'Cuz if so, I want that. Without sweet voice, or weed. I wanna be sober as fuck so I won't miss a thing."

"Damn, alright," Benrey says, a slight smirk playing at their lips. "Whatever you want."

With a pleased smile, Gordon nuzzles into Benrey's neck. Though he hadn't talked about it, another aspect of the kink he enjoys is the possessiveness of the act. To be tied to your partner, held in place even after you've both already cum. That's definitely something they'll have to play around with. But for now, he wants to talk about this more, to figure out what makes Benrey tic. Falling back onto the pillows, he drags Benrey with him so that their head rests on his chest, a broad hand stroking their back. 

"Your turn. Feet, gunplay, exhibitionism, and a death kink," Gordon says. "Yeah, that is pretty kinky. What else?"

There's the sound of Benrey popping their lips as they consider their response. "Uh," they start, "Hey, so, uh… lately I been getting these… urges. Where I wanna… wanna grow real big and steal you away, take you to my castle. Make this cute little gamer nest for you, do everything for you, and you just gotta be… uh, stripped down and ready for, for my meat anytime. Even better if you make me hunt you down and capture you, an' you'll never think about anything but me and me breeding you, 'cuz I'll, uh, feed you blue all the time. Uh, but, can't actually get you preggers though."

Oh… oh, fuck. Somehow, Benrey's managed to hit several notes at once and the chord it plays in Gordon's mind is an interesting one. On the one hand, it sends a shiver of fear running up his spine, memories of actually being hunted by Benrey flooding back. But that was different, he'd actually thought he was about to die at the time. It's not like that anymore, not when Benrey's proven to him again and again, that even when he'd thought they were hunting him, all they ever wanted to do is protect him.

Though Gordon isn't exactly a biologist, he can still recognize a mating ritual when he sees one. Some animals preen and dance to attract a mate, others present them with stones or other gifts, some fight for dominance… Benrey's species seems to have some more protective and possessive mating rituals. Keep your intended mate safe in a nest, away from rivals and threats, then breed them until you can guarantee that you've spread your genetic material. The hunting might even be part of it. A display of power, to prove that you're strong enough to provide for your mate.

It all sounds very clinical when you think of it like that. But when Gordon puts himself in that situation… sure, he's had some minor pet play fantasies before, leashes and collars weren't that unusual in some of the queer circles he moved around in. But since starting this journey with Benrey, that simple little desire, the need to be kept, has developed in a direction he wasn't prepared for. He's already told Benrey about it several times now. Maybe that's what triggered Benrey thinking this way, Gordon's unknowingly gone around exhibiting mating behavior, which in turn has awakened some latent instinct in them.

This inspires some complicated feelings for him, personally. To be taken away from this cruel world and taken care of for the rest of his days, nothing to worry about except being a perfect, pretty hole for Benrey to fill. He'd even have a purpose: to be Benrey's mate, someone for them to dote on, love, and fuck to their heart's content. He could make them happy without ever needing to worry about fucking something up in the process.

These are the notes, and the chord they play is one of love, confusion, guilt, and above all, arousal. Unfortunately that leaves him no clue how to respond. Nothing seems to properly convey what he feels. That feeling only grows more overwhelming as he struggles for a response, chest growing hot with anxiety at the same time his cock grows hard at the fantasy presented. Which in turn just leaves him with a profound sense of guilt. Does he really want to abandon everything—everyone, even his own son, for Benrey? One part screams yes, another no and it leaves him feeling torn apart.

He needs some kind of distraction, something to keep these thoughts at bay. "Yeah, you know, uh, I think you win there, bud. Can't get kinkier than that," Gordon says, his mouth feeling horribly dry as he does. The lack of celebration on Benrey's part is telling, and he can't quite look them in the eye. "Hey, how 'bout we play some video games? You got one for me, right, a Switch?"

A beat passes in agonizing silence before Benrey grins. "'S downstairs, gimme a second. Bring some drinks, too, make it a real… gamer pad up in here."

Their enthusiasm doesn't surprise Gordon one bit. He's essentially said the magic words to distract them from the weird mood he knows they noticed forming. He gets it though, it's a bonding thing. Must be one of very few things they have good associations for from their captivity in Black Mesa. Put that down as another thing to thank Tommy for.

It's perfect, actually. Gordon loves to play video games, especially with friends. It's a good social activity that doesn't require much communication, and his ADHD-riddled brain can focus without much trouble.

A kiss is pressed to his lips before Benrey hops out of bed. Though their excitement isn't surprising, the sight of them phasing down through the floor definitely startles him, a yelp breaking out of him as he sees them disappear. He takes a deep breath to calm down, making a mental note to tell them to at least warn him when they're gonna do some shit like that.

While waiting on them to get back, Gordon remains sprawled out in bed, listening to the distant sound of footsteps and sweet voice. It's a comfortable sound, a sound he wouldn't mind hearing on a daily basis. Him, Benrey, and Joshua, living under the same roof… now that's a thought. It's a sweet little dream, cementing his resolve to keep going.

- ♡ -

After noclipping through the floor like that's a normal thing to do, Benrey lands on their feet in the living room. Nearby, Benny is busy cleaning up in the kitchen, though they pause to help Benrey get everything they want together before resuming their work. Using their hoodie as a makeshift basket, they manage to carry some soda, two bags of their favorite chips, and their pick of the softest, largest throw pillows off the living room couch. With that done, they run back up the stairs. The going-down part of noclipping feels better than the going-up part, gravity or something.

That doesn't stop them from phasing through the door to get in faster, however. Though they announce their presence outside the door with, "ROOM SERVICE," first, so the noclipping doesn't startle him. It's starting to get easier to figure out what might upset him, like phasing their head through the floor a la the time they chased him through Black Mesa.

The sight of Gordon laid out in bed, wearing nothing but his briefs and dorky nerd glasses, has Benrey feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. This is unbelievable—Gordon, half naked, waiting to play video games with them in a big cozy bed. Sounds like the plot to one of their many fantasies.

Excitedly jumping back into bed such that their body bounces, they lay everything out on the blanket. All the while they're rambling a mile a minute. At least Gordon seems to find it endearing, based on the chuckle he lets out.

"Okay so I just grabbed whatever I saw first, dunno if you like any of these drinks but they're ICE cold," they say as they start arranging the extra pillows to provide even more cushioning, giving their arm something to prop itself up on as well as holding their favorite cylindrical pillow to their chest. Once that's done they pull the two Switches out of their hoodie pockets, handing off the orange case to Gordon.

"I got like everything," they continue, "Games, in the little pouches, but I've never turned yours on so you gotta set it up." They're in the process of taking theirs out, removing the cartridge for Breath of the Wild since they figure it's more of a time for co-op and competitive games. "I don't even know if you like orange but. Can't just wear bright orange suit for a week and not become orange man."

The face he makes says everything about his less-than-positive feelings on the color orange. "It works out just fine. Thank you, Benrey," Gordon says once their ramble is finally over. "I love it."

Those words have them feeling supercharged with those warm fuzzies, and for their efforts, he rewards them with a kiss. As he gets his console set up, Benrey cuddles up to him to watch, hand stroking over his bare bicep with butterflies fluttering about in their stomach.

Before long, Gordon's has a functioning switch with a Diddy Kong avatar on his account. "Kong daddy," Benrey teases under their breath while leaning their head on Gordon's shoulder.

"What can I say?" Gordon chuckles. "I played the heck out of Donkey Kong Country when I was a kid." A smile graces Benrey's lips. "So, what do you wanna play? I dunno if we can co-op in Animal Crossing before progressing through a few days in the game… so, like, Smash?"

"Wouldn't mind watching you play some Anal Crossing," they say, despite the fact their hands are already digging out the Smash cartridge. "Unless you're one of those weenies who won't time travel, then I guess we gotta wait…"

Unfortunately for Gordon, Benrey's been playing nearly every iteration since Melee to an obsessive and borderline scientific degree, such that everyone they knew who played refused to do so again for fear of losing. Repeatedly. If Gordon expects to win, he's going to be disappointed.

They convey absolutely none of this as they start up the game and challenge Gordon to a match, default rules, random stage. Gordon's saying something about time travel being against the spirit of Animal Crossing as he gets setup. While waiting for him, they circle their cursor around the character select, pondering their choice. Eventually, they land on the Villager, default skin. He's got murder in his eyes. Perfect.

"Ready to lose, IDIOT?" Benrey jeers once Gordon's ready.

"Bring it, bitch," Gordon confidently retorts.

Benrey is in their element. Nearly every second not spent working or testing over the last seven years was spent gaming—their methods tended to involve latching onto one specific game and obsessively overplaying it to the point of getting too good and therefore, bored. Smash has always been a comfort, though; even when they were sweeping the floor with their opponents, it was still bringing them closer to people.

It's maybe a little fucked up, but they can't stop laughing as Gordon is obliterated only seconds after the match starts, using up one of his stocks as Sheik flies off the screen.

"We need to pick up some Pro Controllers at the next Game Stop," Gordon mutters. "These things were not made with an adult man's hands in mind."

Though his comment about Pro Controllers is cataloged for future reference, it's responded to with childish taunting. "Awwh, baby man gonna lose? Big man hands much better for stroking my cock," Benrey jeers, indulging in running circles around Gordon before sending Sheik flying off screen again, Villager remaining at 0%. The way Gordon laughs at that is slightly tense as he tries to get a block in only to get slammed off the stage instead.

It's not his fault, though. He's doing pretty well, Benrey's just a freak about these games. And when a lot of their training was done while high, not even a really good brownie could nerf them.

It feels mean, but getting a no-hit win in is really fucking funny to them. "How's my dick taste?" they taunt as Sheik is forced to clap for the Villager.

"It tastes like blue, actually," Gordon says, looking a little red in the face.

Lucina is their next pick—a choice that tended to get people really fucking heated, which Benrey loves. People raging over the smallest things, especially when they caused it, is the BEST. Though Gordon doesn't seem to even know who she is, which is fine by them. Letting him face-off against a character he has no reason to find annoying is like a sign of their love.

"Who the fuck is Shulk?" Gordon comments while glancing around the roster, drawing an amused grin out of Benrey.

"Xenoblades, play it sometime, idiot," Benrey playfully teases while Gordon picks Sheik again.

"Alright, I think I'm getting the hang of this," he says. "Prepare to lose, sucker."

There's an art in making sure your opponent doesn't rage quit on you despite losing every single match. Despite how levelheaded Gordon has been, not just during this game but for the last few days in general, Benrey knows him to be snappish and short tempered. Not that it would bother them if he started raging, but they don't want him to rage quit on them.

That doesn't seem to be an issue. The two of them are laughing and taunting each other like always, with Gordon making lame excuses along the way. Benrey lets him get some hits in, doing their best to be less of an impossible obstacle. No one likes to lose, and Benrey especially hates to lose—unless it's a game they never cared about, but, Smash isn't even close to being that. Case in point, the fact they have to intentionally fuck up just to give Gordon a taste of potential victory.

They're cackling again as the win screen comes up, taking the downtime to get a long gulp of their orange soda.

"Benrey," Gordon slowly asks, staring at Sheik's disappointed face at the post match screen. "Exactly how many hours have you sunk into Smash?"

Oh, they do so love the acknowledgement, the praise hidden behind that question. "Uh, like, tens," Benrey says, staring straight up as they think. "Of thousands."

They say this as if it's not that big of a deal, as if they hadn't fixated on Melee so hard after Tommy first introduced it to them that they did literally nothing else for a full week uninterrupted. They only stopped because Tommy came to visit. For about ten minutes, before they convinced him to pick up a controller and talk to them while they played together. They remember nothing of that conversation, but they remember Tommy played Kirby every match.

"Okay, that's cheating!" Gordon exclaims, dropping his Switch into his lap to throw his hands up, while Benrey stares blankly at him. "That's so fucking unfair! I'm a baby compared to you." 

Although Gordon's reaction is hilarious and gets a good chuckle out of them, Benrey worries he might actually end up wanting to switch games. Which is fine, but they were having a lot of fun with this game. It's fun to see Gordon's choice of character, to see his methods and try to get inside his head a little. They want more.

"C'mon, Benrey, be a bro," Gordon begs. "I should get some kind of handicap, even the odds a bit!"

Relief floods through them, escaping their mouth in a stream of leafy green sweet voice. So he does still want to play, he just wants winning to be an actual possibility. Kind of a problem—Benrey really, really hates to lose, and they've gotten so attuned to this game that losing is a challenge. They're not even sure what they can offer. They're interested in seeing Gordon get even better as they go along but that might not work out if he gets too frustrated.

At a loss, Benrey pops their lips, imagining that thought process popping like a bubble as well. "Maybe you should just uh git gud idk," they tease, taking a sip of their drink. "What, you want more items? Baby wants a smash ball?"

Though they're using a mean and condescending voice, they mean it, flicking through the settings, even if there's really nothing that'll help him much. Benrey knows every trick in the book to get out of just about any situation with any character, of which they settle on Solid Snake for this round. Might as well get a nice piece of ass to look at while feigning mistakes to let Gordon get some hits in.

"Alright, you asked for it," Gordon says as he heaves himself up off the veritable mountain of pillows arranged as their backrest to crawl across the bed to sit opposite Benrey, their knees touching. The loss of closeness and physical contact has Benrey staring after him in confusion, a little hurt—did they make him mad? They'd prefer to believe he's doing it to improve his focus, get Benrey's screen out of his periphery, but it still sucks. No warm body to lean on, gotta support their head with a pillow instead of a broad shoulder.

Whatever, it's fine. They don't have to be attached at the hip. Benrey leans back, getting comfortable. At least they can feel Gordon pressed against their knees, and this does make it easier to keep an eye on his reactions as they play. Staring at him might even help make their playing worse, like he wanted. They won't lose, though. Gordon is fairly good but he's nowhere near their skill level. And picking Ganondorf, of all characters, it's like he wants to lose.

"Game on," Gordon says.

As expected, going from a fast paced character like Shiek to one of the absolute slowest doesn't do Gordon any favors. At least his slower attacks make it easier to see them coming, so Benrey can intentionally mess up to let Gordon bring their percent up. Won't help, though, they're still going to win, and they've got their eyes on his first stock, easily setting up to send him flying off stage.

Or so they think. Suddenly there's a pressure against their crotch that makes them jolt, thumbs slipping over the controls. Gordon gets a counterattack in right away, sending them flying off the edge of the map. They only make it back without using up a stock by the skin of their teeth. Focusing on the game is difficult when that pressure doesn't go away, and it doesn't take much brainpower to figure out what it is.

"You fucking snake," Benrey hisses. All bets are off now. No more messing up on purpose, they're sending Ganondorf to his GRAVE and they're not gonna apologize for it.

Except, those on-purpose fuck ups start to become genuine fuck ups. All it takes is one glance downwards while Ganondorf is recovering from losing his first stock for Benrey to completely lose focus. A borderline hysterical sound escapes them, arousal sparking all the way down to their fingertips. Touching the buttons feels strange now and they're torn between staring down at the cute little—not little, not little at all, holy fuck—foot pressing into them and the actual match. As their first stock is knocked off they start to panic.

"Still gonna lose," Benrey smoothly insists, not sure if they're speaking for him or themself.

"Wanna make it interesting?" Gordon asks, as Benrey gulps, heat creeping over their chest. Their characters both remain idle as he elaborates on his little plan. "You win, I get you off like this," he shifts his foot just so, the arch gliding wondrously over Benrey's hardening length. A shuddering moan is punched out of them, leaning back so they can push their cock even closer. "But if I win, I get that blowjob you promised me."

Electricity dances across Benrey's skin from the mere thought of what Gordon's promising. All Smash-related thoughts are wiped from their brain. In their stead is an image of Gordon getting them off with his feet before quickly swapping to lying across the bed, head in his lap, vigorously sucking him off. Both make them shiver, a fire igniting in their core that spreads all throughout their body.

Which do they want more? Well, as Gordon's character makes his move again, Benrey automatically reacts with winning in mind. It's ingrained into them. The thought of losing when their win streak goes back several years feels incomprehensible.

The only problem is that they don't feel entirely in control of whether they win or lose anymore. Every shift of Gordon's foot, no matter how subtle, draws their attention away from the game. The desire to toss the Switch aside and rut against him is unbearable. The touch, through a layer of fabric, isn't enough to get them off properly, but it is riling them up, making them crave more.

Every second Gordon's character is incapacitated in some way—stunlocked, caught in a combo, temporarily off screen or knocked off the stage—Benrey looks down, and they never want to stop, which just makes it so much easier for Gordon to get the upperhand, Ganondorf's stronger hits devastating to these lapses in attention.

The panic building inside them as Gordon nearly takes another of their stocks has the heat in their body rising. They struggle to focus, to press the buttons with the way their hands tingle. But they NEED that win. Need to keep their win streak, need what he's promising them.

In the midst of a frenetic struggle between their characters, Benrey fumbles the controls, yet somehow, in a sloppy, desperate move, they launch Gordon off screen, taking one of his stocks and putting them on an even playing field. The minor win is a massive relief. They're still the pro here, not him, and not even a cute little—NOT LITTLE—foot will take them down.

"Uh wow maybe you should up your game," Benrey taunts, regretting it immediately when Gordon's next words are,

"Alright. Gitting gud now."

That sweet, innocent little smile on his face sends another jab of panic through Benrey's body, uncertain what tricks he's got up his sleeve this time. This causes them to launch Snake into a brutal attack against Ganondorf in hopes it'll leave absolutely no room for retaliation, end the match before he can get any wild ideas.

"Ahhh, fuck, Benrey…"

No such luck. The sound of Gordon's heady moaning as he drags his foot up along their cock drives into them like a stake, heat and arousal crashing over them and knocking a wheezy gasp out of them. They're stunned long enough to fuck up their all-out assault. Ganondorf's barely taken any damage and now there's the risk of being too—

"Aahhh, hahhh—h-harder, sir…"

Electricity shoots through them like a lightning bolt at the sound of Gordon's voice. It's even worse, the imagery it puts into their mind of Gordon sprawled out beneath them taking their cock, begging for more like a miserable little whore. The thought is so tantalizing, on top of that delicious motion of his foot against their cock that has them nearly dropping the fucking Switch, a shuddering moan escaping them in a stream of rust-colored sweet voice.

As a result, Snake stays perfectly still long enough that Ganondorf easily tosses him off the stage. Benrey barely notices, grinding their hips forward with an, "Oh, fuck—" and a flutter of their lashes. They have no desire to stop, squeezing their thighs around his foot and rubbing into him as best they can, breaths quickening as all their brain power gets rerouted to getting off.

It's not until the sound effects coming from the game finally pierce their thick skull that they force themself to focus, stilling their hips with a needy whine. They NEED that win or they're not gonna get off.

When they come to, they're not entirely sure what's going on or why there's only one stock left under Snake's avatar. A noise comes out of them like the low growl of a dog, fumbling the controls with trembling hands. Fuck, they're going to lose. The thought fills them with dread.

"Ahh—Hahhh… fuck, Benrey, Benrey…"

"Ssstt—Stop talking, you're SUCCUBUS," Benrey curses. They're not sure if they're genuinely annoyed now or if it's just the arousal getting them riled up, but the desire to ragequit and make those dumb, fake little moans Gordon's letting out genuine is palpable. "Terrible—Bad, BAD player needs—dirty cheats—!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Benrey, I'm just sitting here playing the game."

Regaining their focus feels like a lost cause, but Benrey refuses to lose. It'll only take a minute, maybe less. They just need to get Ganondorf knocked off-stage twice. This had been child's play to them only a few minutes ago—although it's felt like a fucking ETERNITY—and they can do it again. The stakes are SO fucking high, they need this.

That determination flies out the window immediately. Before the match even has time to start, Gordon goes on the offensive again, but not with Ganondorf. Instead he pinches the hem of Benrey's underwear with his toes, dragging it down so that their cock springs forth, sitting hot and heavy between their spread thighs. Their cock slots into the arch of his foot, rubbing up and down in quick little motions. 

Benrey's brain switches hard into arousal-mode. It feels like nothing matters to them except selfishly chasing their own release, like everything else is a pesky distraction, and it's so difficult to remember that they don't GET to get off if they don't win. Gordon's foot presses down on their aching, throbbing cock and they gasp, biting their lip to hold down their moans of pleasure, chest heaving. Precum dribbles onto their waist, thighs squeezing him as they try to grind up against him, chasing the motion of his foot.

Ironically, their skill improves the slightest amount with their hands moving on autopilot, getting Ganondorf's percentage much higher than theirs. And then Gordon moans again and Benrey nearly drops their Switch.

"Ah—Ah—Ahhhhahh—B-Benrey… feel so good, sir, I'm gonna cum…!"

Desire crashes over them with a near-violent intensity, thighs squeezing him as they moan aloud. Their behavior in game doubles in aggression just as they start spewing a bunch of filthy nonsense from their mouth.

"Should make you scream that for real, while you're stuffed full of my c—SHIT, fuck—"

The smash ball appears and they're nowhere near it. Their percentage is too high, Gordon's still got two stocks left, and Ganondorf can break the smash ball much faster than Snake with his superior strength.

"NO," Benrey exclaims, "No, no no no—!"

They scramble for it anyway in a last ditch attempt to steal it away—a rookie mistake. Should've run, gone on the defensive and looked for an opening to grapple, toss him off stage. He's far more susceptible to it with all the damage he's taken. But Benrey's brain is roughly 95% their desire to cum all over Gordon's pretty foot, leaving no room for all that strategy in the span of time it takes for Ganondorf to get his final smash off on Snake. "NOOOOOO—!"

There's nothing they can do—all the odds are against them and the match is called as Snake is violently launched into the side of the screen. At first, Benrey can do nothing but stare in shock. They haven't seen the loss screen in a long fucking time and it feels a little surreal. Their perfect win streak, gone in the blink of an eye.

It's kind of annoying.

"WHOOO!!!" Gordon cheers, throwing his arms up in the air. "Who's good now?! You owe me a—"

Tossing their Switch aside where it gently bounces against the plush mattress, Benrey gets up on their knees, shoving their hand in Gordon's face to push him down against the mattress, a soft noise escaping him on impact.

"Asshole," they curse, nipping at his jaw before biting and sucking their way down his chest, drawing breathless little noises from Gordon's lips. As they tuck themself between his legs, they sink their teeth into the tender flesh of his thigh with a low growl, his cock twitching in anticipation.

"S—Such ahhhh—sore loser. Can't help iffffahhh—I got… mad skills…"

Gordon's taunting has irritation spiking through Benrey's systems, groaning in annoyance around the chunk of Gordon's thigh as their teeth pierce a thin layer of skin, coaxing a low moan out of him. Pulling back, their saliva forms a trail between their mouth and his thigh, broken as they run their tongue across their teeth.

"Keep sayin' that shit, won't be so mouthy when I get my hands on you," Benrey threatens, biting down on the waistband to his briefs and tearing them off, literally. What isn't torn by their teeth is ripped apart by their claws, the useless strips of fabric tossed aside without a care. Gordon's cock rests heavy against his waist, sticky and dripping with precum. Lowering down, their nose presses against his length, a frisson passing over him as they inhale deeply and exhale with a pleasurable shudder and a low, "Fuck…"

"I—Jesus,… Benrey…" He watches them from where he's leaned on his elbows, green eyes dark with lust.

They don't waste time. Pressing a kiss to the base, Benrey drags the flat of their tongue up to the tip. One hand wraps around him, pumping him slowly as their eyes flick up towards him, taking in his expression while wrapping their lips around the head of his cock and swirling over it with their tongue, sucking loudly and messily.

The salty taste of flesh is familiar, yet some demented part of their brain is convinced it's different, that the taste is uniquely Gordon, and they moan around him, cock jumping at the thought. After all they just went through, subtlety isn't an option, taking him deeper inside their mouth where their long tongue wraps around the tip, bobbing their head and moaning with enthusiasm. Their orange-tinted saliva drips down to pool around his balls.

They're still horribly annoyed, though, and they're not letting him off so easily. Slicking up one of their hands with sweet voice, they dull their claws and circle a finger around Gordon's hole, teasing him before pushing inside. His body jumps in response. 

"Ahhh—shit, Benrey…"

Their thumb presses over the space beneath his balls that applies pressure to his prostate, pushing down and easing up in time with the bobbing of their head and thrusting of their finger that soon upgrades to two. All the while, he writhes and moans underneath them, cock throbbing against their tongue. Benrey finds themself absolutely intoxicated by the taste, the feel, fuck, the smell of Gordon resting deep inside their mouth.

It's all so much that they don't notice the signs of him getting close. His orgasm takes them fully by surprise, a sharp breath escaping through their nose as he pushes his hips up towards their face, thighs taut and body twitching as he cums down their throat with a loud cry. They take him deeper, swallowing him to the hilt, their full-throated moans sending vibrations down his length. Human cum is nothing to write home about, but in this instance it tastes divine, and they milk him of every last drop, fingers and thumb rubbing his prostate from either side.

Only once he's spent do they stop massaging him, but they don't pull off—they aren't done. If he thinks he's getting off that easy he's dead wrong. With a satisfied hum Benrey goes right back to sucking him, agonizingly slow. It would almost feel loving if not the fact his body is extra sensitive from his last orgasm, given no time to rest and relax.

Gordon whines, pushing at Benrey's head. "O-Off…"

Benrey pulls off with an audible pop, a string of saliva connecting them to his cock. This allows them to sit up on their knees, where they take in the pathetic look on his face. A red blush spreads over his cheeks, coating his ears and traveling down across his hairy chest. They want to run their hands over it, bite his face, squeeze his tits, touch and mark and devour but instead, they watch and wait as he slowly comes down off his high. His hands are pressed over his eyes, mouth hanging open on a pant, his hair fanning out behind his head. Benrey slowly runs their finger over this thigh as they watch him, drawing little hearts into his skin.

The last thing they expect from Gordon at this point is exactly what he does. With a soft grunt, he rolls onto his stomach, raising his hips up and spreading his thighs wide. Their eyes bug out at the sight, at Gordon… presenting himself to them. A pitiful sound comes out of them. Gordon glances over his shoulder, aiming a pleading look their way.

"Please," he begs.

"Ohhh, shit…"

He doesn't have to ask twice. Roughly grasping onto his hips, Benrey lines themself up behind him, teasing his hole with their tip while humming a pearl of orange sweet voice into their palm. They use it to coat their aching cock before pushing inside, the sensation punching a shuddering moan out of them, body falling forward over Gordon's back. Claws scrape at his hip, a low growl rumbling up from their chest as they start to thrust shallowly inside him, each thrust pushing the air out of Gordon's lungs and drawing a breathless whine out of him.

"B-Benrey… fuck…" he groans, his hands fisting the bedsheets beneath him.

A slender hand reaches up to part Gordon's hair, baring the back of his neck. Something inside them is telling them this is very important and they're too horny to question it.

"Wanna act like a dog, get fucked like one," they breathe, sinking their teeth into his nape with a low growl. Though the sharp sting has him crying out, that sound turns indecent quickly as their sweet voice drips into the open wound. 

"Fffuuahhh…! B-Benrey, I—I'm… fuck!" Wrapping their arms around him tight, they drive sharply into him, punching loud moans out of him that has drool pooling into his beard. "Fuck—Breed me! F-Fill me, knot me—I n-need, need—aahaahhh… m-more, please…"

Gordon's words go straight to their cock, pumping hard and fast inside of him. All except for that one word, acting as a trigger to unlock some long forgotten instinct in their brain. Everything before this, the game, the bet, none of it exists. All Benrey can remember is the fact that Gordon is theirs, that he belongs to them, that they've claimed him and they'll do it again, as many times as they have to.

With a growl, Benrey picks up the pace, the borderline violent slapping of skin against skin echoing throughout the room alongside Gordon's wanton moaning. Feeling him beneath their every hand, hearing his voice crying out for them, knowing they've captured him and no one else will ever take him from them, that he's theirs and theirs alone—the pleasure that bursts through them is powerful, the taste of copper flooding over their tongue as their teeth dig in deeper.

"Mmmnnhh!" Gordon cries out. "Fuck, Benrey… B-Benrey, Ben…!"

Their eyes dilate until they're nothing but a dark void, jaw clasping tighter around Gordon's flesh. From there, a lot happens at once that Benrey doesn't notice at all—the darkness that discolors their fingers and toes creeps higher up their limbs, dripping like melting wax to form some type of webbing that sticks to Gordon's skin, wrapping around him like a cocoon. But they're more focused on getting off, on Gordon—on keeping him tied to them, and isn't that what he wants as well? To be theirs, their lover, their mate, theirs.

"Ahhh—Hahhh… Benrey…!" Gordon groans, his body going rigid as they snap their hips forward and bury themself to the hilt. As their orgasm ripples through them, filling Gordon to the brim, their form grows fuzzy like an old VHS tape and their cock swells at the base, locking them inside him as his body grows taut and starts to twitch. The melting black webbing around him hardens, forming thick, rubbery ropes that hold him in place against them.

Oblivious and uncaring to whatever alien process is happening, Benrey focuses instead on grinding shallowly into him as he whines and writhes beneath them, until they've exhausted every last drop. Their teeth release his neck, body falling limp atop him. Lazily, their long, forked tongue laps at the wound with teal-green saliva until it closes, forming a pretty, bruised bite mark that takes up a sizable chunk of his nape.

Flooded with endorphins, Benrey clutches tight to Gordon's body, nuzzling in between his shoulders. Everything feels how it should be. They've claimed him and now he can rest for awhile, safe in their grasp, their cock still buried snugly inside him.

"Fuuuck," they groan, their head resting between his shoulders, blood staining their lips. "That was so fucking hot…" When there's no response, not even a whimper, it takes them awhile to notice, their mind reduced to jelly.

They go to try and lift themself up, only to find themself stuck by the thick, dark ropes that grow out of their skin and cocoon around Gordon, in some places getting stuck to the bed. It looks like some Venom shit, like a really goth spider came and decided Gordon was their next meal. Though having never seen this specifically before, Benrey still knows what it is.

The black ichor encasing him is the same substance that makes up Benrey's body, like a ditto forming into different shapes, or some type of Play-Doh. Never before has it encased someone else like this, though, and seemingly outside their control. They've always used the sweet voice to do stuff like that. Make it easier to move things if it's wrapped up in a nice cyan cocoon.

But they don't care about all that, they care about the fact Gordon's not making any noise, much less freaking out about the weird shit that just happened to him.

As they roll him over onto his back, the webbing shifts and tightens, keeping him held against them. Here, they examine him using their limited knowledge of human first aid. Pulse, check. Breathing, yup. Nice and warm, same healthy brown complexion covered in freckles all over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He's just unconscious. Which, okay. Happened to them before, but they don't exactly like it when it's Gordon. Fragile, precious, more-important-to-them-than-anything Gordon, who could be seriously hurt and dying because they crushed something with the webbing, shitty, stupid, dumb—urghhh, why is it still here?!

"Gordon," they say, insistent, as they start to shake him. "Bro, come on. Rez already." When that doesn't work, they hum sweet voice into his mouth, teal to buttercup—although they prefer not to use this, because they've been told it makes people delirious, unable to tell reality apart from a dream for a few minutes. This is… probably fine? Though? He's only just passed out, probably not even dreaming yet.

- ♡ -

Gordon is floating in nothingness, until suddenly he's not. Pain seeps into his limbs, pulling him from this deep tranquility into a memory, one he's relived numerous times despite its recent formation. His body hurt back then as well, aching after days spent in the heavy HEV suit, body littered with cuts, bruises, and lacerations, tormented by the constant pulsing burn where his arm is fused to the gun.

Fear, anger, and confusion chase him just as the nightmarish entity he at one point reluctantly considered his ally does. But that's his own fault, for trusting Benrey of all people. Benrey, who's done nothing but torment, harm, and betray him from the moment they met. And now they're hunting him, their giant form floating effortlessly through the vast emptiness of space as he desperately jumps from island to island, barely avoiding the sweeping motion of their arms. Benrey's voice booms over the top of him, distorted and crackling, causing him to lose his footing, stumble, and nearly fall into the abyss.

That is what finally wakes Gordon. The danger of a deadly fall jolts him awake, eyes snapping open as he attempts to take in his surroundings, only to find he hasn't actually escaped the nightmare. A myriad of eyes watch him as he's held in place by a sweet voice cocoon. Instinct takes over as he struggles desperately against the tight webbing, pushing with all his might, yet finding himself unable to break free.

"Fucking—Fuck, fuck—Get the fuck away off me!" he shouts, unable to recognize the room around him for what it really is. There's stars, glowing crystals, healing pools, and… carpet, a TV, drapery… a massive, lovecraftian horror ready to strike… a popcorn ceiling, a warm blue duvet cushioning his body… none of it makes sense, and he's frightened by all of it.

"Gordon," he hears, feeling their claws skittering all over his body, and his panic increases.

"Fuck—Fuck off! Benrey, let me go!" he cries out, kicking and pushing until his instincts takes over, and he shoves his gun arm into their face, clenching his fist to attack the monster that wants to tear him to pieces.

But the spray of bullets never comes. In fact, he hears nothing but a sharp intake of breath, and when he cracks his eyes open, Benrey's face is what greets him, missing all the extra parts, their pupils constricted and staring down at him—not his fist, but him. It doesn't quite make sense in his head. The stars behind them are twinkling out, revealing a room lit only by the midday sun shining through a window. The guard uniform vanishes as well, revealing Benrey's nude body, hair hanging loose around their pale, ashen shoulders.

That's when he takes in the hollow look of resignation on their face, lips parted as their eyes gaze sadly down at him. As their hands move, Gordon has trouble comprehending the scene before him, watching them gently grasp onto his wrist to wrap his hand around their throat.

"Can hurt me if you wanna," they say.

The sight before him is difficult to parse, Gordon's brain working sluggishly to fit the pieces together. All he can see is the way Benrey hovers over him, and from their body, thick, black ropes extend to cocoon around him, keeping him wrapped up snug against them. Safe and secure.

It hits him then, snapping him out of his trance. Of course, he's all wrong. Benrey isn't the enemy. They're sanctuary, and he's their mate. All he ever has to do is lie here and let them pump him full of blue and orange until he never has to think ever again, reduced to nothing but a warm hole for them to fill with whatever they want. He'll never have to worry that he isn't good enough, that he's going to fuck everything up again.

Gordon's chest grows hot with emotion, tears dripping down his face. They've saved him, taken him away from the horrors and brought him here, where they'll keep him safe and give him all the love he craves for the rest of his life. As his hands begin to shake, Benrey blinks, their eyes growing wider, and they lower his hand from their neck.

"Gordon?" they say, their voice so soft, almost fragile. Their hands move, cupping his cheeks as his tears spill over their fingers. "Whuh, what's wrong? Why crying? What did I do?"

The panic grows in their voice, but Gordon doesn't hear it, preoccupied with leaning into their hands and wrapping his arms around them as best as he can, his face tucked against their shoulder. It's too much to be seen right now, especially if he has to try and explain the turmoil churning his gut.

"I—fuck…" his voice is muffled against them, but he doesn't dare move away, nor does Benrey try to make him. Their fingers comb through his hair, a soothing melody he doesn't recognize hummed right by his ear.

The longer he's held here, the more reality starts to creep back in, just as the webbing caressing his body softens and recedes back into Benrey's body. He's in the bedroom. They were just playing Smash, he won, and Benrey fucked him into oblivion. He remembers feeling their cock swell inside him, remembers their teeth piercing his neck, but everything else after that is a blur. The obvious conclusion is that he got overwhelmed and passed out. Or his body went into shock from the teeth sinking into his flesh, but he feels like he would have noticed more symptoms. Or maybe not. There was a startling lack of pain, to the point where the bite tingled with pleasure instead.

"I'm sorry," he starts, the tears picking up anew. "I just… I, I thought… fuck, I thought I was still on Xen. And then you saved me, and I…"

Shame washes over him as he has to voice these thoughts out loud. If only he could just stop thinking, stop feeling like they said he could, if only he gave in to them, gave up everything to them.

"It's pathetic… I'm pathetic," he continues. "But you still want me, and I—I could be that, your mate. I could be good for you. I—fuck, Benrey… I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I was supposed to lead the science team, to be a good father, to be your boyfriend! But all I want to do is hide, and stop fucking thinking, and let you—it would be so much easier if all I had to focus on was you. On being whatever you wanted."

It feels like he's drowning, choking on all the conflicting emotions consuming him. And then, there's a burst of blue, the taste of blue raspberry washing over him and unclogging his throat. All the tension in his body dissipates, like a knot untying in his chest and brain to untangle the mess he's made of himself. The whine coming up from his throat turns into a soft sigh.

Cool fingers brush his hair aside, wiping up his tears before rubbing his cheeks in a soothing gesture. He leans into the touch, staring up at them. They're so beautiful… even with the concern in their eyes, they still make him all soft inside.

"Can we play a game?" Benrey asks, not waiting for a response before continuing. "Tommy taught me this one, s'for when I get real baby. Just name something that makes you happy, can be anything, jus', uh, not a person. I'll go first. Uh… seals. They got these cute faces and they're real fat, wobble around everywhere with they tiny little flips. Think about hugging 'em, think there's prob'ly nothing better. Lotta squish. Really like, uh, the ones with the white fur. Fuzzy. Now you say something."

Gordon's thoughts are moving slowly, like molasses as Tommy would have put it, making their question a tough one to answer. Especially when it can't be a person. All he can think about right now is how much he likes Benrey. Their example helps, though. Benrey likes seals… seals are pretty cute, little adorable balls of fat. A soft smile lights up his face.

"Cats," he says, dizzily mumbling as the blue keeps him doped up. "They're all fluffy. I like… when they wiggle their butts… s'cute."

"Good. Cats are good," Benrey says encouragingly. "I like the ones with the huge ears. You know what else I like? The PlayStation 2 start up sound. GameCube is good too but when it's late at night and everyone's asleep and it's so quiet and you boot up that PS2 to play some GTA3 it feels so good."

Gordon knows exactly what they mean, the almost ethereal sound of a PS2 starting up. When he couldn't sleep, he used to boot it up just to have a game on as background noise. FFX was a favourite, as was Devil May Cry 3. A warm smile lingers on his lips as he sinks into a memory of a late summer night, cicadas going wild outside and To Zanarkand playing on his tv as he waited to fall asleep.

"I used to, uh," Benrey is saying, "Beg Tommy to beat the hard levels for me. Perfect aim, no auto-target. Would tell me he panicked and forgot the lock-on button. Oh, and the memory card menu's good too. Same vibe. Like holding the cards in my hands, don't get that stuff anymore. Dunno what those things are made out of but they make a nice sound when you clack 'em together. Now you say something."

There's another memory of pleasant video game noises Gordon remembers even stronger than all of that, a tune that had him periodically open up YouTube just to hear it again. 

"You know the, the little pling when you start up a Gameboy?" The smile that crosses their lips suggests they do. "It—dunno why, but it makes me really happy. Had one when I was really little."

"Yeah bro, I know you did. That stuff's a classic," Benrey agrees. "The like, Mario coin sound thing."

It's odd how those two notes are among Gordon's favourite sounds. He didn't have a GameBoy as long as he did the PS2, or even the DS he got later. But it's embedded into his memory as something important, something that, at one point, had made him so happy. Even imitating it now fills his chest with a nostalgic feeling of anticipation, like there's an adventure to be had just around the corner.

"You ever seen a Nintendo Direct?" Benrey asks. "The JoyCon click they do? Peak sound design. Or the pen for the DS? Slide in slide out, makes you feel important. It's the best."

A laugh slips through the haze the blue sweet voice has cast over Gordon's brain. Benrey's always so funny, talking about the most mundane things like they're little miracles. Hearing them talk like this, hearing them go so excited, it's similar to the feeling he gets from the Gameboy sound. Excitement, like he's on the cusp of a grand adventure. Their adventure, the one they're going on together.

"Okay so you know what else is good," Benrey says. "Food, bro! I don't even need it, but I love it. Humans invent so much food. Who thought of pizza? It's incredible. Old ball and chain used to give me PASTE. BLECH. No romance. DIVORCED. I want that melt in your mouth, bro. That fluffy and chewy, the party. Slumber party with pillow fighting."

Gordon laughs. "It's… it's a love language," he explains. "I like it when I can give you that… those feelings you're talking about." It's not a person, but a feeling he gives to a person, so it counts. Even partially sedated, Gordon can't seem to get rid of that stubborn streak of his.

It helps, though, remembering that. If he gave himself over to Benrey like the scenario they talked about, that would mean he'd never get to show them something new again. Something exciting. And what a waste that would be, to be bereft of Benrey's smile when they bite into something he's prepared for them. Cooking together, too, they only just started exploring that. And Benny! He wants to know them better, know them both better. 

"What more do you like?" he asks. "Tell me."

This is good, safe, to speak of happiness and silly little things. Tommy is a very smart man and when Gordon meets him again, he will inform him of that.

Shifting, Benrey lays down on Gordon's chest again, like a cat with their legs curled up on his thighs, head propped on their arms so they can still look at him as they speak.

"I like… uh…" they think for a moment, toying with the necklace resting in the center of Gordon's chest. "Like that jingle jangle of a bunch of jewelry clacking together. Also the sound of a metal chain hitting leather, check this." They remove one of the bracelets they're wearing, a dark leather band with a chain attached in several places so it hangs low. Then they just start shaking it like a baby with a rattle, and the chain hits the leather to produce a low noise. "There's so much stuff that's just, satisfying, no reason. Like scissors gliding over paper."

They put the bracelet back on, laying their head down on their arms again. "There's this game on the PS2, it's like mostly mini-games but I used to just run around in it, you're a lil' kid, you get to make your own character and… you're in this lil' neighborhood and you go swimming and uh… it makes me feel good when I play it."

Gordon listens to Benrey ramble with a soft smile on his face, allowing their words to wash over him as his head slowly clears from the influence of the blue sweet voice. What had Benrey been like when they were younger? What would they have been like if circumstances were different?

Those thoughts are useless though. Can't change the past, they can only move forward.

Move… they will have to move on soon. It's not a pleasant thought, and that's probably why Benrey's suggestion had been so tempting. He's gotten a taste of it here. No worries, only getting high, eating food, having sex, watching movies. It's a paradise, even if his own fucked up brain still brings in anxieties. Which is why he wanted Benrey to shut it off, shut him off.

The image of the gun in his hand suddenly springs to Gordon's mind. It had felt so heavy when he lifted it towards his temple, the barrel cold against his skin. Benrey's suggestion, it's just another version of that in the end. Taking himself out of the equation, a world without worry where he can finally rest.

"Oh, I like making forts," Benrey is saying. "Blanket pillow, party time. Black Mesa wouldn't let me do it too much, though, they had these inspections…"

The smile on his face has faltered, his gaze lost in space. Benrey's still talking, but Gordon only listens with one ear as things starts to click into place. The word "suicidal" sounds so dramatic, but it's the best description of his mental state right now. And it didn't start that time in the van either. Gordon remembers what he tried to do, when he thought the Coomer clones were going to kill him. His mind was broken long before Benrey chased him down in their monster form.

"…And we weren't s'posed to have sleepovers or fraternize but who cares right. So Tommy showed me how to make some and we would sleep in them and kiss a lot and it was the best…"

But things have changed since then. No longer is he on the brink of death, or trapped a pit of despair. He's… happy? Yeah, right here with Benrey, he's happy. He's in love. And it's not something Gordon wants to give up on. Nor does he want to give up on finding new things for Benrey to experience, or finding his way back to his friends and family. He has something to lose now, something to fight for. 

"…Even though it, like, sucks at—the pillows are rocks, bro! But I love soft, uh—did I tell you, Tommy bought me a body pillow once, not like, hot anime man but just, it was blue and slightly taller than me and the softest thing in, in whole world. Miss it. Wish I still had it."

When Benrey falls silent again, Gordon takes a moment to think through his words before he starts to speak.

"Shit's been… really fucking hard lately," he says, as Benrey watches him intently. "It's not that I want to die, I just—It's so much sometimes, and I want it all to stop. To stop feeling bad. But, I… I guess that's something I'll have to work on. Because… this shit may suck sometimes, but it's worth it."

Sitting up, Gordon pulls Benrey into his lap, his hands holding onto their biceps. "I want to raid another GameStop and find that game for you, and build a pillow fort… fuck, lots of pillow forts! You're right, those things fucking rule. I want to show you the ocean and snow and—and… and introduce you to Joshua! I want to be happy… with you, Benrey."

The longer he goes on for, the more Benrey's expression lights up, until finally, a wide grin stretches across their lips. Purple and white flows out of their mouth, and they throw their arms around Gordon's neck, pressing themself as tight against him as possible and crashing their lips over his. It feels like a seal of approval, marking Gordon's words as official and true.

"Love you so much," they breathe, before diving in again. "Stupid big beautiful asshole. Make me feel. Getting soft." They punctuate each sentence with another kiss.

"Hey, we can't have you going all soft on me," Gordon laughs. "Don't stop being the little gremlin bastard I fell in love with, I need awful jokes, teasing, and you eating weird shit, or I'll start to think someone did a bait and switch on me."

Benrey nuzzles into his nose, drawing another chuckle out of him. "Yeah I'm edgy," they quip. "I say fuck and I've never paid my taxes." They lay their head on his shoulder, burying their face in his hair with a content sigh. "This is why peoples was off the table. My every answer would be you. Games not work that way."

The smile returns to Gordon's face, growing wider for each and every word Benrey says. "I couldn't come up with anything but you when you first asked, even thinking of cats was a struggle," he confesses, his fingers tangling with their hair when they burrow into his neck.

"It's so sweet. I'm gonna be sick. Gonna BLECH everywhere real gross you'll hate it," they say, running their lips along his neck while leaving little kisses in their wake. "Giving me diseases. Lovesickness. I'm gay now. Gay chemicals in the Gordon water."

Benrey's teasing has Gordon giggling, which turns into a wheezing fit at the end. Laughter, that's another thing he'd miss. "They're turning the friggin' aliens gay," he manages to get out.

It feels better now, lighter, even as the blue sweet voice has mostly left his system. Gordon feels… hopeful, that the future might hold something for him after all. His hand continues to stroke through Benrey's hair, the other gently rubbing their back.

"Thank you, for—for everything," he says. "For the blue, and talking me down. I'm sorry you have to keep dealing with my breakdowns. I'm gonna try and get better at not doing that in the future." He pauses, fingers playing with Benrey's curls. "If I fall apart again… remind me of the good stuff again, okay? It, it… it helps a lot."

God knows he could probably use more, like some proper therapy… and medication. But that's not an option right now. However, hearing Benrey talk about how good fat seals are, is an option.

"Of course, dummy," Benrey says. "Sad de—diss—de-esc—No Sad Procedure. Got it. I'll get PRO at it you'll see." Leaning in, they pepper his face with kisses before pressing their forehead against his, noses brushing. "My job is, uh, Support Uplift Comfort Care for. And also protec from scary. I get paid in feet and kissies, it's pretty sweet."

Gordon's smile grows. But despite all this, he still needs further distractions, so he doesn't ruin all the hard work Benrey put into putting him back together. That's what has him saying, "We got anymore soda? Toss me one, not—not orange, think I'm getting a pavlovian response to that. And… can I watch you play Breath of the Wild?"

Benrey gives a slow nod, leaning in to kiss Gordon. "Of course, bro," they say. The pile of drinks are towards the foot of the bed not far from Gordon's Switch, which Benrey turns off and places back in its case before grabbing a bottle of strawberry Fanta to hand off to him. The choice in flavor has him chuckling, nosing into their neck and pressing a kiss there before opening it. 

"You're such a dork." He takes a deep gulp, the fizzy drink helping clear his parched throat. The taste is similar to Benrey's sweet voice, artificial strawberry flavoring. But theirs is better. Warmer. Kinder. "I like the taste of yours more."

Benrey's Switch is nearby as well, still sitting on the loss screen in Smash. The sight has them squinting at the device while Gordon laughs, before they finally pick it up, exiting to the home screen. As they get the game set up, Gordon sets his soda aside, curling up against Benrey. It's tricky when you're a fair bit bigger than the person you're cuddling up to, but Gordon doesn't mind. As long as he can be close to Benrey, it's all good.

"Check this," Benrey says as they get the game set up, setting the volume a little under halfway, their orange soda resting propped up against their thigh. "My, Breath of the Mild Let's Play Part 22. Like comment and subscribe."

Chapter Text

Lying around watching someone else play a game for him is an experience Gordon hasn't had in some time. Maybe not since college. But even then, it wasn't quite this cozy. Spending time with someone he loves, indulging in a hobby they both share, it's a rare treat he can't believe he gets to indulge in. That he deserves to indulge in.

Wherever they end up, he hopes it allows for moments like this. How amazing would it be if the safehouse at the end of their journey is big enough for the two of them to have their own space? Or maybe the safehouse is a collection of houses rather than one big house, and the two of them could take over one of their own, escape the chaos to share quiet moments alone together. He imagines a large dining room where they all eat together, loud as always. It'll have a garden, maybe even a farm, and a big gaming room, of course.

Better yet, if The G-Man knows how to keep an area safe, they could start a community for other survivors. With that idea comes an even bigger version of the farm he imagined. A flourishing settlement scavenged from the ruins of the old world. That would be pretty amazing, a great place for Joshua to grow up.

"We should have a slumby party," Benrey suddenly says, right in the middle of Link slipping off the entirety of the mountain they've been struggling to climb. In the rain. Their suggestion pulls Gordon back to that little imagined collection of houses, a living room with ample space to make a big pillow fort out of couches and tables. "Us and Tommy. Make a big fort, watch movies, and, kiss…" they trail off on that last part, glancing up at Gordon for his reaction.

He smiles, a teasing glint in his eye. Benrey isn't as subtle as they think they are. Although Gordon feels rather possessive about Benrey right now, he imagines that'll settle when they've spent more time together, when he doesn't feel like his survival hinges on them anymore. And if he were to share Benrey with someone…

"Do you mean kiss each other, or…?" If this is something Benrey wants, they'll have to voice it themselves.

He watches as Benrey spaces out. He's used to it by now, their thoughts taking detours before reaching their destination. Might as well lean back and enjoy the ride. Which is how he catches the blush spreading across their face, slitted pupils growing large and dark. The smile on his face widens. Ah, so that's how it is. He doesn't mind, so long as he's not left on the sidelines. If Benrey's getting kisses from Tommy he wants to be there watching it. 

"Whatever… you want…" they mumble. And then, even quieter, "I mean his lips are really soft you should try it sometime…"

Hearing that the two of them had some kinda relationship hadn't come as a surprise. The way they acted around each other always stood out, a softness in Benrey's gaze, a tenderness in Tommy's touches. Although he'd been too stressed out and focused on surviving to see it then.

But it's all so very clear to him now. You'd have to be an idiot not to see it in the way they talk about the man, how their face softens and their eyes glimmer. Even now, their expression as they speak of him contains a mix of adoration and lust. He'd be jealous if they hadn't aimed that look his way several times just today. The fact of the matter is, Benrey and Tommy are a package deal.

There's far worse people for him to have to share Benrey with. At least it's not that soldier, Frozen or whatever. That would be such a fucking shit show.

What does take him by surprise is that Benrey suggests Gordon be an active participant. Truth is, he's more than willing to kiss Tommy. Blame it on his competence kink, but he's had a crush on the guy since he first saw him fire a weapon. But it doesn't feel like there's room for a third between Benrey and Tommy, not with the way their shared history has bound them together.

Gordon fiddles with his hair, a nervous stim to combat the heat rising to his face. "I—You… you think Tommy would like that? If I… kissed him?"

The bug-eyed look Benrey gives him as the words escape his mouth is very telling of their enthusiasm. "Whuh—Yeah, yes. Bro, of COURSE Tommy wants to kiss you. You're his type, bro, he follows you around looking at you like some kinda puppy. He told me, s'cute science guy at work, pretty hair and mean as shit, barely see you cuz wrong, uh, depos. Then he's like Benrey look! It's the guy! And I was like wow! Me too! That's MY guy too!"

Had they really talked about him? Had Tommy really pointed him out to Benrey and said he liked his hair? That just has his blush deepening. It makes some sense—not the 'Tommy's type' part, Gordon has never seen himself as someones type—but that Benrey might have watched him from afar before they met. That would explain why they had a crush on him from the start, and why they decided to follow him around. Maybe asking for Gordon's passport had been their attempt at shooting their shot.

"This is SO great," Benrey continues. "We're all gon' be kissin' in a little circle, kissin' and huggingggg, and I'll pile on both of you like a big kitty when we go to sleep. Think about it. I'm thinkin' about it."

With a flustered noise, Gordon grabs a pillow to press into his face. Well, now he is thinking about it, about the three of them together. Tommy's so smart and kind, not to mention handsome enough that Gordon often found himself staring. There's something extra special about such a soft, youthful face turning sharp with concentration while firing a gun with deadly precision.

"We can all get cozy in beb together," Benrey says, putting their Switch away in favor of rolling onto their front, head propped up on their hands and feet kicking behind them. "Tommy'll gimme a kiss good night, and then… then I get to watch you kiss him."

"Benrey…" Gordon whines. Hearing them talk about this expands on his earlier fantasy, the house he imagined for the two of them growing to accommodate another person… and even bigger yet again, to make way for a giant immortal dog that is also kind of Benrey's son. A giggle escapes him, muffled by the pillow. "Joshua and Sunkist would be brothers."

It's ridiculous and amazing and just what he should've expected from getting into a relationship with them. Of course you can't just date Benrey, you're also going to date their boyfriend and become a stepdad to a giant golden retriever.

Emerging from the pillow, he glances over at Benrey, cheeks still red but eyes uncertain. "Do you really think he'd be okay with… with me? I'm fifty shades of fucked up and that was before the Resonance Cascade. And after what I did to you, after what I made him do to you, do you think he can forgive me?"

The pain in Tommy's eyes as he fought his best friend, and apparently lover, all because Gordon lead a crusade against them, still haunts him. And Tommy doesn't even know that Benrey's okay! For all Gordon knows, Tommy's out there struggling to live with the fact he was forced to kill someone he loved, and Gordon made him do it.

"He's probably mad," Benrey admits. "But I think Tommy could forgive just about anybody for anything. You're just, uh, gonna have to suck up. And if he sees… like, Benrey fan club, new member, I think he'd warm up. Then we get to all kiss and hold hand."

Though their words sting, at least they're honest about it. They're right, anyway, he can't just expect to roll up and except everything to be fine, he'll have to put the work in. But at least Benrey has faith. After all, who knows Tommy better than Benrey? Certainly not Gordon.

"You know what," Benrey continues. "When I first met Tommy I did everything I could to piss him off and it jus' wasn't working. I even poured a weird chemical in his fancy coffee and he just looked at me and said, 'Well that wasn't very nice'."

They let out a soft, huff of a laugh at the memory.

"And then I pushed him down the stairs," they add, as Gordon looks to them in surprise. "An' he wasn't even mad. I went baby mode, bawling, shit ass, embarrassing, and he comforted me! He broke his leg! And like I healed it and he was fine and he probably knew that but still. Tommy's a saint. You just gotta show off how much you adore me and he'll forgive you, head over heels speedrun to triad. Or, quad… are you gonna fuck my skeleton or what?"

A startled and slightly panicked laugh escapes him at the end there. "L-Listen!" he manages. "I—okay—I'm a bit of a monster fucker, alright? If you put that in my head I will start thinking about it."

He's still not sure how that would even work, but he's a creative (and perverted) guy, he can figure it out.

"So, a slumber party," he says. "What else you got planned for when we get to the safehouse?"

Benrey pops their lips in consideration before responding. "Well there's gonna be a big party, with cake. And you're gonna hafta keep your little son boy from going sloppy on it cuz no one else is gonna, too cute. Got a backup cake anyway. Gordos gonna get a BIG hug from Doctor Cum, and Bubsy 3D is gonna call you mean things but it's because he missed you. Sunkist is gonna jump on you and slobbery your face. And then Tommy's gonna give me a kiss because I'm STARVED for a Coolatta Kiss and I neeeeeeed it. It's gonna be, uh…"

Listening to Benrey's rambling is like listening to a chaotic but lovely bedtime story. The picture they paint for him is incredibly saccharine but still very on point.

"We gonna have our own rooms," Benrey declares, "And we're gonna watch a movie with Tommy cuz he like, LOVES movies and you can cuddle up to me and, he's also cuddled up to me, I'm in the middle. Sunkist is there as a big fluffy pillow. Your son can come too but he has to go to bed eventually 'cuz we're gonna watch SCARY movies. There's gonna be candy and popcorn and candied popcorn and Tommy's gonna fall asleep first but we're NOT gonna prank him because we love him whole heart. We're gonna put a blanket on him and make out a little and then lay down go sleeps with him. And in the morning…"

Benrey keeps rambling on and on, about all the fun stuff they're gonna do together, playing in the grass and climbing trees and going swimming and playing video games and cooking. Soon, the collection of houses Gordon had imagined turns into a big cabin as he follows Benrey through the mundane little adventures they describe to him. Trips to the beach where he has to stop both Benrey and Joshua from scooping shells in their mouths. Picnics in meadows surrounded by evergreen trees. Late night gaming sessions that turn into more heated activities once they're alone.

Eventually Gordon's thoughts starts to drift off, the mental and physical exhaustion catching up to him as Benrey's voice lulls him to sleep.

- ♡ -

Benrey keeps going on and on, saying whatever cimes to mind while lowering their volume as they sense Gordon drifting off, until finally he's asleep. Staring down at his slumbering form, Benrey lets go of a deep sigh. Gordon is complicated, to them at least, but they're hopefully getting the hang of things. Soon enough they'll be a pro at keeping him happy. He's already a pro at keeping them happy, though, all he has to do is exist.

Or so they'd like to think. But it isn't really that easy at all, is it? Since he woke from his little passy-outy experience earlier, Benrey's been on edge. There's this disconnect. From the moment he held his fist to their face with intent to kill them they've been split in two. It took everything they had not to let him see it, the bad spilling out when he'd cracked them open like a geode and exposed the monster hiding inside. Despite everything… he's still afraid of them. And now that they don't have to put on a smile and laugh with him it all comes crawling back to feast on them like a pack of hungry moths.

Their claws stroke through Gordon's hair as he slumbers peacefully against their chest. It doesn't feel right. How can he do this, how can he see them as a threat one moment and a savior in the next? When is he going to punish them for their crimes?

It's been years since the last time Black Mesa punished them for misbehaving, even if they hadn't actually done anything. They used to act out on purpose, unphased by all the killing and freezing and whatever else Black Mesa had up their sleeves. That stuff took up most of their life, how could they possibly still care? Nothing is scary when you see it every day all day for your entire life.

It wasn't until they became a security guard that they realized just how much they'd gotten used to that. How hard it was to go on without the predictability of their old life. There's a set of steps they're used to following, and when certain steps get skipped over, they're left tripping up. Unable to relax. Tommy spent years breaking them free of that anxiety but it's never truly left, it's just been buried.

And, well, it's starting to get unburied. They'd flirted with it during the Resonance Cascade, egging Gordon on knowing he'd punish them for it. When he decided they were bad, they put themself in the path of his bullets. Became the big bad all for him. All to be punished by him. It's something Tommy would never do, hurt them without aftercare.

Benrey gave him another opening. Held his hands to their throat and gave him permission to squeeze, but he didn't take it. Obviously he wouldn't, he's their boyfriend and he loves them very much. But what part of them does he love? And how much damage does the rest of them need to take until he loves all of them?

Carefully, they untangle themself from him, sliding out of the bed, their Switch left on the pillow. Walking off, they track down their clothes, stepping back into their briefs and pulling on their hoodie. That's all the clothing they need for now. From there, they grab their backpack, glance back at Gordon, and head out.

- ♡ -

Unfortunately for Gordon, the dream he slips into is not a good one. Though it's less of a dream and more of a collection of images and sounds. Everything is dark, and there's a sense that he's being followed. It splits into specific images: soldiers dragging him down a corridor, the mouth of a head crab as it flies towards him, a child—hauntingly familiar—lying without a face on the grass. That last one turns his stomach and has tears welling up in his eyes. But even as he tries to look away, the image follows him.

Finally the dream shifts as something touches his face, butterfly light. He blinks and suddenly he's on Xen, stars spreading out around him and a towering Benrey in front. The dialogue comes as if it's pre-recorded. 

"It's you, man!"

"Yo, it's me! What's UP…"

"Don't come any closer. Stay at that distance."

"Nooo, man. Why are you freakin' out?"

"Because this is insane!"

"Man… we used to be great friends…"

"We were never friends. We were never friends."

"'Member those days…? We—where—where we played… in the sand? And in the mud? We were playin' in the mud, ALL the time. Great friends."

"I don't think I—I have—Y-You are forging these memories, dude!"

A look of profound sadness comes over Benrey's face the moment he says that, and he's left feeling insanely guilty. He's about to apologise when the island he stands on disappears, sending him rocketing down into the nothing, Benrey's face getting farther and father away.

He wakes with a jolt, nearly headbutting Benrey. Their lips had been pressed to his forehead, but they jerk back to avoid getting their head slammed. "Holy… Oh fuck, I'm sorry," he apologizes, reaching up to rub his forehead. Why does it feel like he's been hit with something, like Benrey's flicked him with their nails? "I—Ohhhh fuck that was weird. I had this dream that I was falling…"

As he moves to sit up and adjust his glasses, he finds Benrey perched on the bed beside him, sat with one of their legs curled. They're half dressed, and behind them, Gordon takes in the golden light of the setting sun through the window. Evening already? It feels like it was just morning.

"Havin' doggy dreams?" Benrey teases, their body shivering. "Run around, wag your little dogboy tail?"

"Mmh, that would have been better. That sounds like a nice dream. This was—" He cuts himself off. It was more a memory than a dream and not one he wants to remind Benrey of. No reason to dredge up the past. "It was stupid."

His body still hurts, maybe even more than before since his muscles have had time to get stiff. But it's a good ache, one you get after an honest day's work… or honest fucking in this case. But being here, with a comfortable bed like this, makes it easy to cope with an ache like this. It's enough to make him wanna stay forever.

Those are dangerous thoughts, though, too close to the other escapist fantasies he's had recently. Resting is good, but he—they can rest more when they get to the safehouse. Gordon sighs, turning to face Benrey. "Tomorrow… I'm sorry, but we need to move on. I know you wanted to stay and rest and believe me, I would love to stay longer, but it's—I need to move or I'll start having those weird thoughts again. Is that okay with you?"

For a moment, all they do is blink at him. That's when he catches sight of something odd—their hand keeps twitching and spasming at their side. Now that he thinks about it, didn't he just see them shiver a few minutes ago?

"Huh?" Benrey says. "Oh, bro. I was gonna—oh man, bad news bears." Their arm jerks, and they shove their hand into their hoodie pocket. "My sk—Benny's been packing for like, hours, man. Was gonna tell you at breakfast tomorrow. Thinkin' the same shit, mind meld, you and me. Same page. Got the route planned out already, rest stop. Friendlies. Heard from 'em on the radio when you was sleepsin' a few days ago. Over in Collie-rado."

"You…" Stunned, Gordon takes a moment just to stare back at them. "You already…"

It's inconceivable to him that not only has Benrey already decided they need to move on, but they've also already started to prepare and worried over how to break the news to him. This is the same alien who would vehemently refuse to follow the simplest of directions. Who, during the week after the Resonance Cascade, made it their job to make everything as difficult as possible for him. That very same alien has now apparently made all the right decisions and preparations hours ahead of him.

It's like a stone falling from his chest when the realisation hits: it's not all on him. Sure, they've shown themselves surprisingly competent in dealing with his erratic mood lately, and they found the house they're currently staying in. But that was all in the moment things, it's not planning. Planning and decision making has been Gordon's job ever since he became the de facto leader of the Science Team, and he sucks at it.

And now Benrey's taken on part of that burden, like it's nothing. He'd almost be mad at them for not doing it earlier if logic didn't dictate this is probably something new for them, as well. How much leadership training did they get growing up in Black Mesa? None, is Gordon's guess. But now, now Benrey has decided to help out, to take some of that pressure off Gordon, and it makes him fall in love with them all over again. 

"Who are you and what have you done with my gremlin of a boyfriend?" A laugh escapes him as he leans in to kiss Benrey. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Yeah? Tell me more," they say. "Thought…" They shudder, wrapping their arms around themself. "You'd hate it so I. Was gonna. Mean it's harder to say no when I've already got shit moving and—you made it sound like it was my decision this morning. Jus', like, don't get used to it."

"Oh, I will get so used to it. It's your turn to lead now, sucker. Imma just sit back and watch, and I'm gonna be so annoying about it, running off in the opposite direction, straight into groups of enemies so you'll have to scramble to rescue me."

"Noooo-uhhh," Benrey whines.

Chuckling, Gordon adds, "And, hey, it is your decision—and mine. It's our journey, right? We're traveling together, so… we both decide stuff. And when we don't agree, we'll talk it out. Together."

Purple, green, and pink drift out of Benrey's mouth in a gentle hum, making him wish he knew more sweet voice rhymes. He's learnt more of them than he had in all their time together at Black Mesa simply by paying attention. Now, he understands that pink has to do with love, blue is to calm down, red is something bad, a dull orange and dark purple are horny colors, and green… uh, he's not sure about that one yet. This is a different purple, too.

At some point he's going to have to ask Benrey to teach him more. But he doesn't want to push it, it's a sensitive thing after all, having your feelings on display like that.

"Cool," Benrey says, their head twitching, promptly followed by them playing with their hair as if they'd meant to turn tilt their head in that direction. Now Gordon's getting really weirded out. Why do they keep doing that? "Do you think the ice cream's ready?"

"Uh, yeah. It should be. Are you okay, though?"

"Huh?"

"You keep…" he gestures vaguely to them, right in time to see their hands convulse. "Twitching! What's going on with you?" From what he knows about them, it's rare that they even so much as tremble. This constant spasming isn't normal.

"What? Nothing. What's going on with you?"

"Listen, if something's wrong, you can tell me, alright? You don't have to, but I'm here for you, okay?" In return, all Benrey does is stare blankly at him, so he takes a slow breathe and decides to push the matter aside, for now. It's not like he knows that they don't twitch every now and then, he's only known them for, what, two weeks? Less? Not to mention, the last thing he wants to do is push them hard enough to make them angry at him. "You said something about friendlies earlier. Did Benny find survivors on one of their outings?" 

"Huh? Yeah, no—they my buddies, CoD of Duty days. Played some Smash together too, these guys are a riot. Got a group I guess, found a place, s'on my map. Forgot to tell you, too much fucking and sucking. Benny found them on a radio an' I talked to 'em with it."

He didn't even know Benrey had friends outside Black Mesa. The fact that they even let them onto the internet is surprising on it's own. That would explain why they talk like a Twitch chat though, all memes and references. Though there was also that Forzen guy, didn't he say they used to be best friends?

"That's kind of insane that they survived, and you managed to find them. I'm looking forward to meeting them." 

"Yuh. They got a PS4 and everything, it's gonna be great."

"Well, alright, then. Why don't we go check on the ice cream, get some dinner started?" Though the last thing he wants to do is get out of this cozy, comfortable bed, it's for the best. He'd hate to ruin their stay here by wasting it all in bed.

It's with that in mind that he reluctantly crawls out of bed in search for a pair of un-torn underwear. Getting dressed is a bit of a chore when lifting your legs makes you feel like you have a pole shoved up your ass, but somehow he manages. The outfit from earlier is a no go, too stiff and uncomfortable for his aching body. Instead he slips into the sweatpants and t-shirt from earlier and ties his hair back again. Comfort over fashion is the name of the game right now.

Though clearly not for Benrey, who's back in the same crop top and punk pants look as before, just with the addition of their hoodie. The scrunchies that had tied their hair up are gone now, leaving the strands loose around their shoulders, though he doesn't remember when that happened.

Following them out of the bedroom, Gordon makes it one step down before a bolt of pain shoots up his spine and he winces, gripping the railing in a white knuckled hold. "Uh… Benrey, babe," he says, causing them to stop and look up at him curiously from the bottom step. "Remember how you said you'd fuck me until I couldn't walk? Yeah, I think you did good on that promise. Can I get some help down the stairs please?"

A smirk pulls at Benrey's lips, and they head back up, effortlessly lifting him up off his feet. He yelps in surprise, wincing as a jolt of pain shoots through him. The arch of his back in this position is not doing his body any favours.

"I gotcha," they tell him, carrying him down the steps where they set him down in the kitchen. "Could fix. Just gotta go ass to mouth to do it."

Barking a laugh at their comment, Gordon reaches out to pinch their nose as they wiggle and chuckle. "You are not screaming sweet voice straight up my ass, you absolute degenerate!" he playfully scolds. "Find another way to heal me, it's your monster cock's fault that I walk like I actually have a stick up my ass."

"That stick could be me though," Benrey says, wrapping their arms around his waist and leaning up to kiss him. "Fine. Choo-choo open up."

As the sweet voice floods his mouth, Gordon realizes this is the first time he's tasted the teal-green heal beam. The minty flavor comes as a welcome surprise. He can't help but lick it out of Benrey's mouth, chasing the flavour and using it as a distraction from the uncomfortable feeling of the sweet voice healing his body. Though it only last for a few seconds, and when it passes, he gives a relieved sigh, his whole body relaxing into Benrey's hold.

"Mmm… thanks babe," he says. "Yeah, that's way better."

Once that's done, Benrey waltzes away to go dig out the ice cream. The cooler is gone, Gordon notes, the frankly massive thing having taken up most of the freezer space. The way Benrey stares at where it used to be is curious, but they shrug it off, so he does the same. With the ice cream cradled in their arms, they head over to present it to Gordon.

"Is he done, do you think?" Benrey asks. The look on their face is blank save for their eyes, glimmering with excitement as they stare down at the treat, transfixed.

To Gordon's untrained eye, the smooth pink mixture seems to have solidified properly. It's the first time he's ever made ice cream like this, so he's not totally sure about the results.

"Only one way to find out," he says, grabbing a spoon from out of a drawer, scooping some up, and holding it out for Benrey to sample. "Want to do the honors?"

- ♡ -

Yellow eyes follow Gordon as he goes for the spoon, slowly processing what's happening. When he offers it to them, a burst of excitement flares in their chest, eyes widening as they nod rapidly. Nerves join the excitement as they lean in towards the spoon, smelling the sweet strawberry scent and feeling some of the cold drifting off the top. It doesn't look like much in this unrefined state, no toppings or cones or anything, but they're vibrating with anticipation nonetheless.

Taking the plunge, Benrey wraps their lips around it, pulling it into their mouth. It's still fairly hard from having been in the freezer all day, but without the ability to experience pain from temperature they go right to chewing. The frozen treat starts to melt from the warmth of their mouth, spreading over their tongue and causing their eyes to snap open even wider as the taste hits them.

It's better than they ever could have imagined. Milky, creamy, with a delectably sweet strawberry flavor, not to mention the smooth texture, the soft feeling of it melting in their mouth, it's divine. Everything they've ever tasted is rapidly beaten out of their top ten ranking to place Ice Cream at the very top. They understand those shows where characters gorge themself on ridiculous amounts of ice cream to get over break-ups or whatever now. Benrey could VERY easily do the same, keep eating and never let this wonderful feeling go away.

That's when the sweet voice hits. They haven't even swallowed yet but the pink is spreading through their system, as noticeable as the heat from a piping hot bowl of soup. It's only a little yet the effect feels like a lot, and as they swallow it down, they turn to Gordon with metaphorical hearts in their eyes.

"I love you," they blurt, before promptly grabbing his face and kissing the daylights out of him. The sweet voice passes halfway through yet they keep going, pouring all their love into it. Not just their love, but their gratitude, a thank you to the man who's just homemade a dessert they've been dreaming about for so many years now. Not only that, but taught them how to do it, involved them in it, put a piece of them into it, and then let them have the first taste.

When they finally release him, they're both breathless and Benrey's teary eyed, though it's easy to blink that away, hiding their face in his shoulder as the wave of emotion passes.

"Hey," Gordon says, stroking over the back of their head. "Was… was it okay? Did you like it?"

A laugh bubbles up out of Benrey's throat. Overwhelmed is a good way to put how they feel right now. Too often they've gotten their hopes up for things just to have their dreams completely dashed. Ice cream might seem like a really silly dream to have, but it's not even about the ice cream, exactly. They've always wanted to live the life where they could acquire thirty buckets of ice cream and melodramatically stuff themselves full of it, instead of the one where all they can do is watch cartoon characters do it on TV.

"It's so good," Benrey says, rubbing their face against the soft cotton fabric of Gordon's shirt. They don't know how to describe to him exactly how much this means to them. With the ice cream set aside on the counter, they grasp onto the back of Gordon's shirt with both hands. "Best thing I've ever tasted, bro. Some mana of the gods stuff. Promise we get to make lots more of it. Please?"

Bending down, Gordon presses his lips to the top of their head. "Of course, however much you want," he says. "We can try and find some heavy cream as well, make it fluffy as fuck. Maybe loot an ice cream machine or something. And we can try different sweet voice colors as well, maybe even try combining them. Strawberry with an orange swirl to really get the party going."

Benrey nuzzles happily into Gordon's neck, purring a soft pink that floats over their heads like little fairies. There's going to be more, all their lives. Other things, too. That's so exciting!

"Anything else you wanna try to make while we have a whole kitchen to our disposal?" Gordon asks. "Maybe something savory?"

His question gets Benrey's mind running wild. A lot of suggestions bounce around their head until they're paralyzed by choice. Reminding themself to be realistic, they manage to narrow the options down by what ingredients they actually have before deciding on something.

"Pasta," Benrey eventually declares. They can't elaborate, knowing very little about pasta, but they know there's several kinds of noodles in the pantry thanks to Benny. It's another dish they've seen a lot and have always wanted to try. That and rice, both of which they've had before, but only in the form of takeout and cheap ramen that Tommy's brought in to work before. Not the same as home cooked. It doesn't count. They know that now thanks to the sandwiches they had for breakfast that morning.

"Yeah, sure, we can make some pasta," Gordon assures them. "There’s a bunch of different kinds, so let's figure out what we can do."

Chapter Text

Once Gordon steps away, Benrey makes a beeline for their apron, strapping it to their body as they follow him around the kitchen. The bottle of wine he brings out throws them off but they figure it's going to be served with their meal, must pair well together or something. They know very little about that sort of thing. They just chug beer with the bros and maybe get sucked off afterwards.

They're leaning on the counter as Gordon gets everything ready, staring up at him with a keen glimmer in their eyes.

"Alright, since it's date night, we're making Italian food," he tells them. "Pasta with meat sauce, or spaghetti bolognese if you want to be fancy." He puts on a terrible Mario-like accent as he pronounces the Italian name, twirling an imaginary mustache while Benrey grins. He's such a dork. As his words process beyond the terrible impersonation, they get even more excited.

"DATE NIGHTTTT!" they loudly declare, throwing their arms up in a cheer. They can picture it now; a red rose in a little vase in the center of the table, nothing but candles to light up the room. They'll eat off the same plate and end up slurping the same noodle and kiss in the middle. Plus a trail of rose petals leading back to the bedroom for when they're done. Or not, considering they have ice cream to share after this, and who knows what kind of sappy nonsense that's going to lead to.

Benrey looks over their ingredients with no clue on where to start. Boil the noodles? That's the only thing they can remember from Cooking Mama. "How do we make this SPAGHET?"

Getting to cook together again is fun as always. Everything Gordon describes to them about what they'll be making gets stored away in their brain, even though they don't know what they're making just yet, besides "pasta". But he makes it easy to understand even if they don't get the science behind any of it, but they don't really care either. It does what it does because it does. Even if they find it hard to believe they're not about to get drunk off a plate of spaghetti.

They're in the process of humming Somebody To Love when Gordon draws their attention away from the sauce they're making. "Hey," Gordon starts, "Did you send Benny off on an errand or something? I haven't seen them since lunch."

To be honest, they'd forgotten all about Benny. Resuming their humming, their eyes drift off to one side as they track Benny's presence back to exactly where they remember the skeleton being last; in the back of the van. They'd been organizing and stashing things back there, things they don't need to keep in the house anymore, so the three of them can leave as soon as possible tomorrow.

"Been busy," Benrey says. "Forgot, was gonna dress 'em up."

They pull on that link they share with Benny, similar to the brain telling a limb to move as they call the skeleton back into the house. But nothing happens. Focusing on it more fully, Benrey notes that the feeling of their bond is… numb? They don't know what it means for a limb to fall asleep, but based on how they've seen other people react to it, they'd say it's similar. Benny is still there, still animated, just not responding.

"Uh," Benrey says, as Gordon frowns perplexingly at them. "Hold on." They make a move to teleport out of the room but stop just short. Right, they can't leave Gordon alone without warning. Fucked up and rude momence, number one. "Gonna, go get them. Right outside don't worry about it."

Removing their apron, they hang it back up on the wall before grabbing their bag. A little late, they realize how this looks, pausing to call out, "I'm gonna dress them too, brb," before receiving an "Alright!" from Gordon. Slipping it on over their shoulders, Benrey heads out, noclipping through the door so it stays locked.

Everything out here is exactly as they remember. Depressingly empty, and far too quiet. It's eerie, the silence permeated only by crickets chirping, no movement save for the insects swirling around the bulbs in the street lights illuminating the streets below. But Benrey only spares a moment to gaze at the scenery.

The back of the van isn't exactly how they remember it, because it's much neater. The HEV suit has been polished to glowing, and all their belongings have been organized into boxes to take up significantly less space.

The skeleton they're looking for is lying in the middle of the bed, wrapped up in the gray plaid throw blanket they'd used when Gordon took a nap on them earlier. The sight is odd to them for a lot of reasons, like, why's the skeleton taking a nap? But Benrey doesn't bother dwelling on such things, crawling onto the mattress to sit beside Benny's prone form. Words aren't necessary, instead Benrey hums a greeting in green, an expression of goodwill. They get one back, higher pitched, and Benrey gestures to their bag, which they know Benny knows the contents of. The skeleton sits up in response, but keeps the blanket wrapped around their skeletal frame.

Unzipping the bag, Benrey digs around for a bit. They've had a few ideas, nothing super solid, especially not while they're uncertain what would even fit a skeleton. Benrey's frame isn't exactly lithe, so their clothes might slide right off a skeleton. Same bone structure, though, so their shoulders are a similar width. Pants might work if a drawstring or belt can be attached tightly enough. Time to experiment, they suppose.

Picking out a black hoodie with chains for strings, they pair it with some blue plaid pajama pants that would probably work if they tie it tightly enough above Benny's pelvis. Laying those two garments out, they set the bag aside and reach for the blanket, tugging it off Benny's bony shoulders to pool around their legs.

A high note erupts past Benrey's lips, lighting up the van in a bright yellow glow as they jump back, slamming against the wall behind them. The sight before them is one they don't know how to process, staring at the dark, slimy mass coiled around Benny's spine, up around their ribs, and down their pelvis, unable to comprehend it. The mass writhes like a bunch of worms, pulsating in a way that takes Benrey back to the day they'd learned that death is a mercy, for some things are far worse to try and recover from than simply hitting that reset button.

Despite the shock rendering them speechless, there's a spark of thought in Benrey's mind, the thought that they know what this is. And if it really is that, then there's only one logical explanation to what's going on here.

But this is completely unprecedented. The skeletons are just skeletons and that's all they've ever been. Though it's not like they ever lived long enough for anyone to know what their deal is with absolute certainty… not that Benrey knows about. Now they're not so sure, about anything.

Glancing around the van's trunk again, they spot the cooler in the corner. Briefly glancing Benny's way, Benrey frantically crawls over to the cooler, lifting the lid to find the inside completely empty, the massive school of fish they'd caught totally missing. Even the scent has been wiped clean.

Whipping back around, Benrey looks at Benny, like, really looks at them. There's a soft cyan glow coming from their eye sockets and their teeth no longer look human, instead elongating to a sharp point to resemble Benrey's. Their fingertips have turned into talons as well, though they're still a pearly white like… well, most of the rest of them.

A chill runs down Benrey's spine. This is far more than they wanted to deal with right now.

Cyan drifts out of Benrey's mouth as they sag back against the wall, pulling their legs tight against their chest. What do they do? What do they tell Gordon about this? What's even happening? Is this what they think it is, or is this nothing at all? The cyan shifts to various other colors, flooding the van to a blinding degree as their thoughts run wild, considering what this could be and reaching the worst possible conclusions.

The uncertainty is what's getting to them the most. They think they know what's going on, even though it's never happened before and shouldn't be possible. It's challenging them too much and they hate to be challenged. Love it when things make sense. Rather think about bread and fat seals and sunsets and the whirring sound desk fans make, those are all very good things in their opinion. Better things.

Overthinking and stressing out is Gordon's job. There's pasta waiting for them. Benrey can do what they do best—ignore the issue until it balloons out of proportion and becomes somebody else's problem.

Getting back up, they help Benny get dressed, stubbornly ignoring the wriggling mass forming on their spine as they do so. The hoodie ends up hanging well past their hip bones thanks to their lack of muscles or skin, while the pants have to be tied far tighter than they were ever meant to. But it works, and the hoodie covers up how ridiculous it looks. Though the hoodie alone looks strange, so Benrey adds a jacket with spikes on the shoulders to bulk them out a bit.

Sitting back, Benrey admires the look, feeling a little more confident and reassured that this is okay. It's a nice aesthetic, a skeleton in bulky goth clothes. Absolutely nothing going on under that, nope.

With that done, Benrey gets up to lead Benny back into the house, ignoring everything along the way of the hasty trail they blaze, just wanting this portion of their night to be over. Inside, they toss their bag onto the living room couch.

"We're back everything's fine don't ask questions," Benrey calls from the living room, each word coming in rapid succession. Though as they stand in the entrance to the kitchen, their next words come out much more normal. "Hey, how's the pasta?"

The look they get as Gordon turns to look at the two of them reeks of suspicion, his brows furrowed over squinty green eyes. "You get that by saying that," he says, "It will only make me want to ask questions more, right? Did something happen, Benrey?"

Benrey swallows hard at Gordon's question. Well, that didn't work, he hasn't said a single thing about the pasta and they don't know how to play it cool when they're still reeling from what they found on Benny's body. But this is NOT a conversation they even know how to have right now.

"Nooooooooooooooo-uh…?" Benrey tries, using the length that it takes to get the full word (and then some) out to think through whether or not that's a lie. In the end they decide they can make it work by technically. "Nothing HAPPENED. No EVENT occured that could be considered a HAPPENING. Love to—hahahahh I'd love to happen some pasta into my mouth you know what I'm saying?"

Before Gordon can respond, they speed walk into the kitchen, grab their apron, and hastily pull on the straps. Though he remains silent anyway, studying them with narrowed eyes as if he can puzzle something out of their totally blank expression and stiff body language. They stare down at the sauce, not actually seeing any of it.

"What's next on the—the weed sauce," they weakly joke. "Lissssssssst. Recipe."

"You sure nothing happened?" he asks, turning to look back over his shoulder, where Benny places the blanket in the same seat they'd sat in that morning, neatly folded. Rather than slide mechanically into the seat as usual, they sway, moving awkwardly into a sitting position like a robot teaching itself to sit. Hands placed on the table, they look down at their legs before staring straight out the glass doors leading into the backyard across from them.

Benrey feels panic creep up the back of their neck, their pupils constricting.

"Benrey," Gordon starts, as they start getting hot flashes, yellow sweet voice drifting out of their mouth in a slow hum. "You don't have to tell me if it's something that makes you uncomfortable, but… And I won't get mad, you know, if something happened or either of you did something."

Benrey presses a hand over their mouth, humming blue and promptly swallowing it. Their nerves rapidly vanish, eyes dilating. Licking their lips, Benrey puts their hands back on the counter as if they hadn't done anything at all, ignoring the look of concern Gordon's giving them.

"Nothing talk about it," Benrey says with total confidence, unaware that their two ideas for a response—Nothing happened and I don't wanna talk about it—have bled confusingly into each other.

Raising their head, they glance back at Benny, who's picking up the chain hanging off their hood by the ring on the end, clumsily dropping it, and repeating the process over and over. Turning back around, Benrey catches the look Gordon's aiming their way, and quickly they realize it has nothing to do with any suspicions about Benny's anatomy. He doesn't know. He's not even looking at them, only at Benrey.

They give another attempt at a proper response to address Gordon's concerns. "Don't worry about it." That's good, right? It's nothing that concerns Gordon anyway… yet? They'll be ready to talk about it later. Not right now.

"I—If you say so," Gordon tentatively responds.

"I did say so, bro, you listening?" they joke.

Gordon scoffs humorously. "Okay, you little gremlin," he says. "Let's get back to cooking, since 'nothing is wrong'." He puts air quotes around that statement, but he doesn't press any further, so Benrey doesn't panic too hard about it. A green hum of relief passes their thin lips as Gordon finally returns to the recipe. They know he worries about everything under the sun and this is weird as hell and they're going to talk about it, just not right now.

Watching Gordon do his thing is soothing. The sauce looks tasty already, and thinking ahead to what dinner's going to be like is a welcome reprieve from worrying about—

"Benny, I like your outfit," Gordon calls, because of course he does. "You wanna help out? I need a pot to cook the pasta in."

He's still treating them like an individual, and Benrey doesn't even know if they can argue that point anymore. Not that personhood is a problem. But the black, pulsating mass growing on their spine is. There's no telling what that thing is with one hundred percent certainty and they're not sure they want it close to Gordon.

And yet, that worry is completely ignored. All the signals they're giving off warning Benny to stay put, to refuse, none of it seems to matter to Benny. They lift their skull to look at Gordon, the dull glow in their eye sockets no longer visible in the overhead light, before pushing up from the table to head into the kitchen. Benrey watches them like a hawk, eyes big and pupils constricted, as they dig through the cupboards, easily locating the pot in question.

Though their attempt to pull it out is odd, clutching both sides of it with the flat of their bony hands such that it immediately slips and falls the second there's no ground beneath it anymore. It bonks Benny on the head before clattering loudly to the ground, red sweet voice shoots out from between their sharp teeth and hands flying up to clutch at their skull.

"Shit, are they okay?" Gordon asks, abandoning the sauce to run to Benny's side.

"Oop," Benrey says, investigating Benny's skull, where a small crack has formed. More red bubbles are bursting out of them, though at a slower pace.

"Red… that's bad right? Are they hurt?"

Benrey tilts Benny's skull down with both hands. A quick teal-green heal beam swiftly closes up the crack like it never was, Benny's discordant red song turning to a pleasant and calming green. As soon as they're all healed up and Benrey's moved away, Gordon leans in to give Benny's skull a kiss, adding some pink pearls of sweet voice to the mix.

"You alright, Benny?" he asks. "Hey, don't push yourself, okay, bud? Come on, sit down while we finish up."

Grabbing their skeletal hand, Gordon leads them back to the table only to halt in his tracks. With all the commotion, Benrey's panic about the whole, situation had been pushed aside, ready to be forgotten about. So when Gordon lifts up Benny's hand to study the sharp tips of their fingers, it all comes flooding back to them, more yellow sweet voice escaping their mouth. Gordon even studies Benny's fucking teeth, looking so closely and with such intense focus they're scared he's noticed their eyes glowing as well.

Everything seems to be going wrong all at once. All Benrey wanted was a nice, romantic dinner, date night, ice cream, make out and fuck all night. That's not too much to ask, right? Instead their metaphorical heart is pounding for a reason that has nothing to do with any of that stuff they just listed.

Gordon turns to look at them. "Actually, Benrey," he says, "I think we do need to talk about this."

"Whyyyyyyyyyy-uh," they whine. Dragging their hand down their face, they stare down at the counter, ignoring everything else. "I don't WANT to. Pretend you don't see it for like ONE night okay, I don't wanna deal with it."

Benrey thinks back, remembering the empty cooler in the corner of the van. The numbness in their link with Benny. The skeleton's lack of consideration for their feelings. Benny's already acting of their own volition, consuming, growing, and there's nothing Benrey can do about it. Do they send Benny out to pasture? Or do they wait to see what happens? The first option is so much easier, but they don't want to explain to Gordon why they just killed the skeleton he was starting to grow fond of.

The man himself glances between the two, his expression shifting from a confused frown to something like realization, then sympathy. "You don't… know what's going on here, do you?" he asks, to which Benrey looks very far away to hide the panic in their eyes. "Okay. I didn't see it. I'll discover it tomorrow and we can deal with it then, together. Alright?"

For what they hope is the final time tonight, Benrey lets out a relieved hum, melting against Gordon as he tips their chin up for a kiss. It feels like they've been given permission to let it all go, for now. For tonight, it doesn't matter, and tomorrow, they'll be ready. The nerves, the fear and frustration, it all floods out of them as they lean into Gordon's kiss.

When the kiss ends, Gordon gives them a smile before bending to retrieve the fallen pot. "C'mon, I'm going to teach you how to cook pasta," he tells them.

As Gordon steps away, Benrey makes eye contact with Benny's not-entirely-empty eye sockets. It's impossible to read them—the bond never went both ways because Benny didn't have feelings of their own, not really. Now they're not so sure if that was ever true. After Gordon calls for Benrey's attention, Benny walks back to the table where they were before, sitting politely and remaining perfectly still staring out the sliding glass doors.

Disregarding all that, Benrey steps up next to Gordon with their head on his shoulder. "Thank you," they mutter, pretending it's for the cooking lessons. "Show us the pasta. Been waiting sooooo long."

The tone of their voice is only a little forced—soon enough it'll go back to being natural as the lesson boosts their spirits and has them laughing and playfully ribbing each other. They'll get to spend their last night here doing all the things they wanted; cooking with Gordon is just the start.

Which is a lot of fun as always. He has them taste test multiple times, so they get to experience the growth of their meal in a whole new way, tasting the difference as the food gets even more delicious with each new herb or spice.

Both the pasta and the sauce end up amazing, and while Gordon sets the table, Benrey excitedly scurries off to go find candles. They already know where to find some thanks to Benny's exploration the first night. Normally they'd make Benny do it, but the skeleton has barely moved an inch, and Benrey doesn't wanna deal with them right now.

Eventually, Benrey returns to the dining table with several scented candles. Cinnamon seems like a good match, so they piled a bunch of those into their arms to set up around the dining area and lighting them with their powers. Once everything is lit, the two of them turn off all the lights and draw the curtains, casting the house in a romantic, warm glow.

"Whoa, we in a romantic movie," Benrey says with awe as they head back to the table, getting cozy in the seat next to Benny. Gordon places their meal in front of them and Benny with an exaggerated flourish. 

"Bon apple teeth or whatever it is you usually say," he says with a grin, before plopping down in the seat beside them with his own plate.

Benrey takes a loud whiff of their meal with a contented sigh. The scent has been overtaking the downstairs area for awhile now, but catching it direct from the source is even better. Leaning their elbows on the table, they stare up at Gordon with a dopey expression. The candlelight casts his features in an angelic hue, dramatic shadows cutting around his jaw and cheekbones.

"Man I'm feeling something gay in this Arby's tonight," Benrey states, before reaching over to intertwine their fingers with Gordon's nearest hand, kissing his knuckles before placing it back down. Gordon gives Benrey a soft smile.

They reach for their fork, curling the pasta around it like they typically did whenever they had cup ramen back at Black Mesa. They stuff it in their mouth, loudly slurping as they pull it off the fork and chewing slowly to savor the taste. Cup ramen has nothing on this, the noodles much softer and more flavorful, not to mention that lovely heat that suffuses through their body from the steam. They moan around the noodles, showing their appreciation.

Leaning against Gordon's shoulder, they rub their cheek on him, stating, "I'm in loveeee please cook for me everyday."

"I love you, too, and I'll try," Gordon says with a warm smile. "Might be hard to do stuff like this without a kitchen but we'll do our best." He twirls some pasta around his own fork, humming in delight at the taste.

"We'll find other houses," they say, twirling up another serving of noodles. "But we'll also, uh, go all Bear Grylls and cook meat over a fire like MEN. Hunt a deer with my bare hands and carry it by antlers, TOPLESS, sex appeal through the roof. I know this. Even splash around in the water so I look all sweaty, that one's for you."

"You do look good without a shirt on," Gordon drawls with a low chuckle, his smile growing saucy.

Stuffing more of the noodles into their mouth, they think on the future, on all the adventures they've yet to have. It'll be fun this time, no more weird fights or making each other upset. Just genuine gay activity in the woods and beaches of America, amen.

As the two of them eat, Benny's left watching them before staring down at their own noodles, unmoving. After a long pause, they pick up their fork, clumsily copying Benrey's technique but failing every single time, the noodles slipping back down onto the plate. The movement catches Benrey and Gordon's attentions, pausing to stare as the skeleton tries to eat the spaghetti.

Eventually they give up and lift the noodles normally, leaning forward to eat. Rather than clipping it through their teeth, their jaw moves, teeth making a wet, clicking noise as they slide away from each other. They close around the fork, dragging the pasta off of it and slurping noisily, somehow. Their jaw moves as they chew and once they're done, they hum a few notes of pink to show their delight at the taste. Steam comes out from under their skull but the spaghetti has been eaten, inexplicably.

"I'm happy you like it," Gordon says, glancing between the two of them with a fond smile. "Both of you."

As Benrey continues to eat, they glance over at Benny from time to time, just as Gordon does. The skeleton's gotten the hang of using a fork in a more natural way, despite working with hands that have zero friction to help them hold items in place. And they're not savoring the noodles at all, instead they're shoveling it down like some kind of anime character with a bowl of rice. They finish in record time, long before anyone else.

After, Benny looks around, eventually spotting Benrey's plate, which Benrey pushes farther away from the gluttonous skeleton. Looking down the neckline of their hoodie, Benrey can see the black mass growing up towards their neck, lightly glistening in the candlelight like some kind of eel. Benrey does their best to ignore it, to not draw attention to it even as the mass pushes against the hoodie, creating an obvious sense of movement underneath.

Instead they focus on their own meal, and on Gordon, keeping his attention on them with jokes and flirtatious touches.

"Let's watch a movie after this," Benrey suggests, saying whatever they can to keep Gordon's attention away from Benny, at least until they can figure out how to make Benny leave. 

"Yeah, a movie sounds good," Gordon agrees. “What do you wanna watch? Another slasher? There's some romantic comedies as well," Benny immediately perks up, while Benrey grimaces around a forkful of noodles, "Or we can dig into the Disney selection."

While finishing off their noodles, Benrey ponders what they should watch. "Not into romcoms," they admit, licking the sauce from their lips. "S'frustrating. Can we watch Friday the 13th? Know you're all oh nooo big scary but I'll hold you, don't worry," they finish with a grin, winking at him in a manner they hope looks natural. He's done it to them before and it makes them all gooey inside. "An' we can… make a blanket fort? Eat the ice cream up there too, real cozy. Thennnn… bathtime and bed? Gotta be up to watch the sunrise tomorrow, remember?"

And get ready to leave, but they don't mention that part. Probably won't take too long with three sets of hands anyway—that could easily multiply considering Benrey can have as many hands as they want.

"Horror movie night in a blanket fort with love ice cream sounds fantastic," Gordon says with a smile.

Gobbling up the last bite of their meal, they tilt their head against his shoulder, staring up at him with an amused smirk. "How's my planning? Grade me. Tell me you love it, BIG attractive, sexiest person award…"

"Hmm…" he pauses as if to ponder their question. "Nine out of ten. I'm deducting point for lack of kisses in the last hour." 

"Whaaat oh noooo," Benrey dully exclaims, sitting up on one leg to bring them closer to Gordon's height. "That's so TERRIBLE," they drape an arm over his shoulder, "Who would do such a thing…"

With a devious grin, they tangle a hand inside Gordon's curls, leaning in to press their lips to his. He laughs into the kiss before properly kissing back. They can taste the spaghetti on his lips and it's fantastic, actually. What an amazing taste to come bundled with the soft press of Gordon's plush lips. They indulge in him for a while before pulling back, kissing his cheek like they're punctuating a statement.

"Ten outta ten," they say. "Thank youuuuuuu."

"Ten out of ten," he agrees with a laugh.

Smiling to themself, Benrey stands, stretching out their back as Benny starts picking up all the empty plates and silverware, depositing them in the kitchen sink. They leave soon afterwards, clipping through the nearest wall, and Benrey just shrugs. Wandering is just what the skeletons do when they're not needed elsewhere, and Benrey wants the rest of this date night to be one-on-one. Maybe that's selfish, but they're feeling weird about Benny right now.

"Gonna get the DVD player," they tell Gordon, already on their way. Kneeling down, they search for the cord, unplugging it the proper way as Tommy taught them. Repeatedly, until he nearly had a neurotic breakdown about it because they kept yanking on the cords. "Get fort going and I'll join you?" They call. "Helper, coming soon? Nine easy installments of kiss on my mouth?"

"Alright," Gordon calls back with a laugh. "Imma grab some stuff from the couch, primo building material."

Most of the throw pillows are already stacked up on their bed from earlier, so Gordon grabs some of the cushions and blankets to bring up with him. While he's busy with that, Benrey gathers up not just the case for Friday the 13th, but some other movies as well, tucking the DVD player under their arm. There's still drinks upstairs, and Tommy claimed room temperature soda is best, so there's no need to go grabbing more. They do grab their bag, however. Just in case they need it.

After extinguishing all the candles, they head upstairs, calling out a jokey warning before noclipping through the door.

Chapter Text

Upstairs, Gordon deposits his armful of supplies onto the bed, examining what he's got to work with before getting started on the fort. The cushions and pillows form the walls, while he ties two blankets to the light hanging over the bed, forming a tent when he spreads the blankets over the pillow walls. It's not the best fort he's ever built but it's sturdy enough not to fall over from the barest of movements, and big enough to comfortably fit both of them. He hopes Benrey likes it.

It's right as he's done that he hears Benrey call out to him from behind the door, turning to watch them phase right through it, the movie and a DVD player carried in a mess of arms. As soon as they spot the fort, their eyes go all big with awe. Glancing away for the briefest of moments, Benrey sets their things down on the dresser and tosses their backpack aside before going right back to assessing the fort.

"Whoa bro this is the BEST," Benrey says. "It's so cute, I just wanna crawl inside and get all kissed and touched up on."

Gordon's chest puffs out at the praise, grinning wide. Is this how birds feel when their mate likes the nest they built for them? Benrey leans up on their toes to kiss him, hands resting on his chest.

"You know what this is missing, though?" Benrey says.

"What's that?" he asks, gazing warmly down at them.

The words have barely left his mouth when Benrey suddenly scoops him up off the ground. He wheezes a laugh, throwing his arms around their neck as they place him down on the bed to crawl over the top of him, pinning his hands beside his head. With a low chuckle, Benrey leans in to kiss his face before meeting his lips proper. Like this, he can look up at their smiling face when they pull away, knowing that he's the luckiest man in the world. Despite the pain and suffering that comes with living, it's worth it for moments like this.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" Benrey asks with a big grin. It takes a second before Gordon understands the reference, though he can only give a genuine answer, not remembering Scream well enough to do a call and response.

"Silent Hill, no question," he says. "Not the second one, that was a whole mess."

"Yesssssssss. Bro you got such taste, you wanna kiss?"

After exchanging a kiss which Gordon has trouble not smiling into, Benrey gets back up to plug the DVD player in. A discussion on the Silent Hill movies drifts between them as Benrey locates the wall socket and whatnot, with both of them having generally the same opinions.

"Want Pyramid Head to rail me on a dirty kitchen counter y'know what I'm sayin'," Benrey says while popping in the movie. 

"Can't argue with that," Gordon laughs. "He is pretty hot in that movie."

Once Benrey's finished setting up, they grab the remote and climb back inside the fort with Gordon, where he tells them, "You gotta promise to hold me when I get scared," poking their side as they crawl past him. "And I'm gonna warn you right now, I'm a fucking chicken hat when it comes to scary movies."

Benrey leans in to kiss the bridge of Gordon's nose. "Not problem," they say. "Squeeze me like stress ball."

They grab their favorite bolster pillow out of the pile, along with some flatter ones for them to use to rest their head on. "Besides," they say as they set up. "If I get all pinked out then I'm gonna spend the whole movie talking about how much I want Jason to cut me open and have his way with me. Like more than I'm already going to. And gayer, like there'll be kissing and handholding and shit, might make you all jealous."

That draws a laugh out of him. "Man, you have a type, huh?" he comments.

"Maybe," they say, a devious smirk playing at their lips. 

He feels like he gets Benrey's taste in horror men better now, and he's starting to see a bit of a theme. Big, stoic guys that could make even an all powerful being like Benrey feel small and vulnerable for a moment. Gordon can vibe with that even though he would rather keep the violence out of it. He's more of the "I can change him" type, while Benrey seems to go all in for "I can make him worse". Makes sense that they go together so well, Gordon has definitely gotten more deranged since meeting them. Maybe he should pick up a mask next time they go looting, Benrey would probably enjoy that.

Laying down on their front, Benrey tugs at Gordon's shirt, urging him to lay down with them. There's a long pillow laid for them both to rest their heads on, as well as the bolster pillow for Benrey to hold.

"I got some other movies for pink time," they say.

"Well, now you got me curious," Gordon says, settling comfortably and intertwining his hand with Benrey's. Hand holding is a must for movie night, those are the rules now. "More horror movies? Or are we watching something dumb like The Grinch again?"

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, turning to look at him with a blank stare. "Whuh… the Grink's not dumb. It's, like, poetic cinema."

"What? Okay, now you're just fucking with me."

"No?" they sound so confused that Gordon's really not sure if this is a bit. "Whuh… it's art. It's, you know. He's like a cool, so nice and making a gift… he's just a lil' ugly and bad at arts and crafts, but he put his heart into it. And everybody mad at him and laugh and he—he, they want him to be bad soooo bad and so he is bad and then… he lives in the, the cave with his dog and he just does what they wanted him to and he gets… he gets punished for no reason, just cuz he's like green and fuzzy and bad at shaving. But he always wanted to be good and… and he jus' needed a little faith, bro. It's a masterpiece. You're wrong."

After all that, Gordon momentarily finds himself rendered speechless. That's a far deeper take on The Grinch than he's ever heard, or, well, not really considering that's literally just the plot, the whole point of the narrative. But when it comes out of Benrey's mouth, it stops being a metaphor about a silly green man that hates Christmas, and becomes something a lot more tragic.

"Oh. I never thought of it that way," Gordon says, because even though he definitely has, it's more that he's never approached it from Benrey's perspective before. There's a lot they aren't saying, a lot he's reading between the lines and seeing in their eyes. It's that stuff that's shifting his perspective. Damn, they do that to him a lot these days, don't they? "Alright, sure. Can't wait to see what other masterpieces you've got for me."

If they're not going for the romcoms, Gordon suspects Benrey chose some cartoons for ice cream time. Kissing with a Disney movie playing in the background is a sweet thought. He cuddles in closer, pressing a kiss to their cheek as they lean into the touch.

"Alright, let's get this horror show on the road."

"Hell yeah, bro," Benrey says before pressing play. As they toss the remote aside, they lean in to return the cheek kiss he gave them, lightly squeezing his hand.

Gordon has actually never seen Friday the 13th, though he knows enough about it to feel like he does. It really is the grandpa of all horror movie tropes. Couple killed while having sex, check. Girl getting chased through the woods and getting killed, check. Teenagers out on a remote location getting slaughtered left and right while the power goes out, check. The effects are old and keep him from getting too grossed out by all the gore, but the tension still has him jolting from the jumpscares. The hunting scenes are especially nerve wrecking, bringing back some unsavory memories.

At one point he actually does hide his face in Benrey's shoulder, waiting for the scene to be over before lifting his head to aim a sheepish grin at Benrey. "Alright, I'm spooked, you gotta hold me extra tight now." Silent, Benrey smiles over at him, kissing his head and wrapping an arm around his back.

During the movie, Gordon chances little glances over at Benrey, their eyes wide as they stare at the screen. They weren't lying when they said that this stuff got them going, their eyes dark and borderline unblinking. Especially in the scenes with Jason in them. Yeah, Gordon is definitely raiding a costume shop for some masks if he gets the chance. If Benrey would look at him like that while wearing it he might even dare to bring a knife into bed. Just for show though, at most some light cutting. Benrey might have an appetite for more gory stuff but that is not something Gordon would be able to stomach.

Another jump scare has him jolting out of that train of thought, startled laughter escaping him as he buries his head into Benrey's neck again. This time it's mostly for show, an excuse to nip and kiss at their throat before returning to watch the big final climax of the movie.

As the movie draws to a close with Jason jumping out of the water, Benrey preemptively pulls Gordon closer, kissing the top of his head as their eyes remain on the screen. Once the credits start rolling, they turn onto their side, pulling Gordon against them.

"Scary over," Benrey declares, pressing kisses all over Gordon's face. A content sigh escapes him from all the affection. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah," he says. "It's a bit trope-y but I guess that's because all other movies copied this one. It's surprisingly good at building up tension, I had to actually look away a few times. The twist at the end is good, too, I didn't even know it wasn't Jason. It's him in the other movies, right?"

There's a certain glimmer in Benrey's eyes as he asks that. "Yeah man this is the grandaddy, 1980—like yeah Halloween came out first but this was the ERA bro. And—the second part, wasn't supposed to even BE Jason but everyone loved the ending so much, he comes back, and he's like, HOT. No mask, got like a sack, scarecrow, but damn that boy can GET IT you know what I mean. The hockey mask wasn't until the third part and then that's the, the thing, but—"

Gordon props his head up while listening to Benrey talk, rambling on and on about the lore and their favorite parts and how ridiculous and bad some of the films are, but how amazing others can be. It's not the first time they've info dumped on him, but it's one of the first times he's properly taken the time to listen.

"I don't even know why they made Jason X," they're saying, idly running their fingers through Gordon's hair as they go, twirling and combing through the strands. "It's really dumb though, we should watch it sometime." By then the credits have stopped rolling and the movie has gone back to the main menu, though Benrey appears to have no idea.

"Yeah, man," Gordon says. "We can watch them all. We could even try looting them before we get to the safe house. Then we can show up with a whole library of movies, plenty of stuff for movie night."

It's easier thinking of the journey ahead if there're things to look forward to. There's only so much he'll be able to show Benrey considering they're in the middle of an apocalypse, but with this idea in mind, they can at least try to hit up some video stores on the way. If there even are any of those around in this day and age. 

"What now, then?" Gordon asks, lifting his hand to tuck some of Benrey's hair behind their ear as they smile over at him. "You said you had a plan. What movie goes with love ice cream?"

Benrey presses a quick peck to Gordon's cheek before climbing out of bed. There's a modest stack of films left piled haphazardly atop the dresser that they snatch up, kneeling before the bed to spread them out like cards. They point to each one as they list them off. "So we got, uhh, Howl's Moving Castle because it's slow and got nice sceneries and stuff, and then there's Cinderella because I like the colors. Anastasia too, it's all snowy and glittery and stuff. And…"

Gordon glances over the selection. Nothing but animated movies, just as he suspected, which suits him nicely. There's some Ghibli, Disney, and a few Don Bluth films. Howl's Moving Castle is a good pick. Just like Benrey says, it's a very pretty film, and Gordon really likes the himbo qualities that Howl brings to the story. That one's his first pick, with Porco Rosso as a second if they want to continue watching. It's his personal favorite of the Ghibli movies, the humor is great and Miyazaki really nailed the feeling of flying in this one. There have been times he's put it on just to have it playing in the background.

"Good picks, kicks," Benrey says, bringing everything back to the dresser where they put Howl's Moving Castle into the DVD player. "Movies to relax and vibe to. I'm go get the ice cream, brb." They bend down to kiss Gordon before fast walking out of the room, phasing right through the door and down the stairs.

- ♡ -

Being downstairs at night with none of the lights on is an odd feeling. As Benrey heads down the stairs, their steps slow towards the bottom, glancing around at the house cast in darkness. Being in someone's house is a totally unfamiliar feeling for them to begin with. It's easy to get used to, since it's kinda like a series of break rooms, dorms, canteens, and locker rooms stitched together. But every now and then, they find themself struck by just how odd it all is, resulting in them standing there, just looking around at everything as they will the liminal feeling to leave them.

Stepping forward, they head into the kitchen, grabbing some spoons and the bowl of ice cream—they are absolutely eating this whole thing tonight, whether Gordon can keep up with them or not. As they start back for the stairs, a flash of cyan in the living room catches their attention.

In the bay window overlooking the street, they spot Benny wrapped up in the throw blanket, hood up, not much visible beyond their glowing eyes and the pale ivory of a cheekbone. Only now that they've noticed the skeleton does Benrey hear their soft, melancholic song, illuminating the area around them in red lights, harshly contrasting with the cool, nighttime atmosphere.

Glancing upstairs, Benrey pauses, setting the ice cream down on the dining table before wandering over to them. They hum a greeting in green—Benny looks up at them, staring silently for a moment before turning away again. The glow in their eyes is brighter, and the black mass has spread to their neck, coiling around the bone like little leeches.

"Can, uh," Benrey starts. It feels wrong to talk to Benny, like a madman talking to a puppet as if it's a person. "Go… out? Tomorrow. Eat lots. Growwww… big." They pause. "But."

The colorful melody that comes out of them in place of words creates a haunting vibration throughout the room, forcing Benny to look back up at them. Orange, red, pink, blue—If you hurt Gordon, I'll kill you. There's no hesitation before Benny sends back purple, pink, and blue.

"Cool," Benrey says. "Uh, date night's for us though, 3-player tomorrow maybe."

With that out of the way, they take their leave, picking up the ice cream and running back upstairs.

- ♡ -

While they're gone, Gordon straightens out the blanket canopy. The room is dark, lit only by the TV, a light piano melody drifting out of the speakers. Despite the cozy atmosphere, Gordon can't stop the fear creeping up his spine. Can you really blame him? He's gone through some really traumatic shit in the darkness, and he just watched a scary movie. So what if leaving him alone for a few minutes sends adrenaline pumping through his veins? Humans don't like being alone in the dark, it's instinctual.

Grabbing a pillow, Gordon hugs it to his chest, imagining Benrey's many arms around him. It's okay, they're just downstairs, they'll be back any minute now. He needs to learn how to be alone, Benrey can't be by his side 24/7, they need space as well. Deep breaths, calm breaths, think about kittens, Joshua, tasty food, and…

"OPEN UP, POLICE," comes Benrey's soft exclamation through the doorway. Despite not being that loud, their voice still has him jumping, the pillow launched into the air as they step through the door. "What uppppppppppp."

"Holy… shit, Benrey, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Oop. Sorry," Benrey apologizes despite the shit eating grin on their face and the green sweet voice that trails after them as they step over to the bed. They bend to kiss him, pausing by his lips as their pupils grow slitted, before they grasp onto his cheeks and kiss him again, with considerably more passion. The press of their lips has the knot in his chest unraveling. Who needs anti-anxiety medication when you have kisses like this?

Pulling back with a smile, they hum a few beads of purple sweet voice at him before climbing into the fort. Holding out a spoon for him, they say, "I got the stuff. Let's eat Grandma."

He snorts a laugh, accepting the spoon.

Grabbing the remote, Benrey turns the movie on, tossing the remote aside afterwards. Climbing all the way back, they flop against the pillows, grabbing the same bolster pillow they keep grabbing to hug and setting the bowl down beside them. Gordon gives the pillow a quick glare. He's not the jealous type, at least not when it comes to other people, but that fucking pillow is on thin ice. They keep grabbing it when they could be holding him, instead.

Deciding to ignore it, he moves around some pillows as well, making a comfy little nest for himself. As Benrey waits for him to settle, they dip their spoon into the ice cream.

"First rule is uh," Benrey starts. "You gotta eat outta my hand and then it's a free for all okay." They kiss the spoon before holding it out towards Gordon with a small chunk of pink ice cream on it.

"You're such a dork," he teases. Leaning in, he wraps his lips around the spoon, hooded eyes kept on Benrey as he does so. He can't help if he's feeling seductive today! The ice cream is surprisingly good, creamy and sweet with that warm strawberry taste that's so familiar to him by now.

Despite anticipating the sweet voice's effects, it still hits him like a truck, warmth flooding his body as a flock of butterflies take flight in his chest. The thing with the sweet voice that Benrey's probably never noticed is, it's a mirror of their own feelings. He feels love, but there's also the sensation of being loved. It reminds him of being encased in Benrey's arms, soft, warm, safe, and adored.

A gasp escapes Gordon, hands coming up to brace against Benrey's chest. "Oh… wow…" he breathes, as they lay their hand over his.

How he's supposed to focus on the movie while eating this he has no idea. All he wants… no, needs, is to wrap himself around Benrey and kiss the ever loving daylights out of them. He starts by crashing their lips together. They reciprocate eagerly, the taste of creamy, milky strawberry shared between them. Though his are closed, Benrey's eyes are open, watching Gordon's lashes kiss his cheek. Burying the tip of their spoon in the ice cream, they put both hands on him, caressing his neck and face, fingers and thumbs smoothing over his skin, tangling in his hair.

When the wave of pink passes, it leaves him light headed and giddy. "I love you," he professes. He's nearly out of breath, especially after the second and third kiss, but he's already craving more. He wants more ice cream, to feed it to Benrey, to kiss and drown in this feeling.

Benrey's lashes flutter, dizzily drinking in the sight of Gordon's face as they run their tongue between their lips, tracing the remnants of Gordon's mouth caressing theirs. A soft smile parts their lips, turning into something of a smirk as they say, "Oh, you're feelin' it now, Mr. Krabs." They drive in for another kiss, and they're chuckling when they pull away. "Love you too. Lookin' real cute, have another taste?" They take their own suggestion as well, placing their spoon inside their mouth upside-down to slowly draw it back out.

"You first," Gordon says.

Taking the other spoon, Gordon loads it up and holds it out for them to taste. The sight of them with their lips wrapped around the metal has his face heating up in response. A second spoonful so close to their first has them shivering. They sigh dreamily as the spoon is pulled away, piled up with more for Gordon to feed himself, not even thinking of brain freeze. He barely has time to swallow the mouthful before he dives back down to kiss them, sticky lips and tongues trading strawberry flavor between them as the intense feeling of love and devotion washes over him again.

As they part, Benrey lays their head down on their bolster pillow, breathing a bit harder with their face flushed a deep blue-violet, their finger tracing hearts into Gordon's neck. They're so beautiful like this, gazing up at him with dark, dazed eyes that glow gold in the darkness, their lips glistening.

- ♡ -

Benrey's full, undivided attention is on Gordon. The movie may as well not even be playing. A part of them has already forgotten there even is a movie. No, there's nothing but Gordon, the look he's giving them, and the look that comes over him as the sweet voice takes effect. A warm pink dusting across his cheeks, a wondrous look in his eyes. 

The sweet voice isn't needed for them to feel a flood of emotion from kissing him; euphoria, comfort, a deep and intoxicating love and devotion. The past few days have brought them so much closer. Benrey feels like one of those love stories with the red strings and soulbonds and all that. Not that they'd give voice to that, it might be too intense for him. To him, they only met a little over a week ago, after all.

When the pink hits, they feel it start as this burst of euphoria, this tingling sensation that turns their body warm and their gaze rose tinted. Gordon looks more beautiful than anything they've ever set eyes on, and they can't look away.

"More?" he breathlessly asks them.

They'd never think to refuse him, even knowing how powerful this much pink at once can be. Right now, refusing Gordon for anything feels totally out of the question. They'd do anything for him, absolutely anything, and that resolve is only strengthened by their next taste of pink.

A burst of an identical pink sweet voice escapes them as Gordon pulls them closer. Only now that they're wrapped up in his arms do they feel complete, their gentle purrs interrupted only by the press of their lips against Gordon's neck and jaw, until they're pulled back into another kiss. His fingers running through their hair have their claws tightening around the back of his shirt. They reach up to tug the tie free from his hair, tossing it aside and tousling the warm brown strands so his curls fan out around his head. Much better.

A third arm forms to reach for the ice cream so they don't have to stop touching him. Sticking the spoon in their mouth, they set the creamy treat in the center of their tongue, and dive in to kiss Gordon, pushing their tongue past his lips. The ice cream melts between their tongues, as Benrey works to smear it into Gordon's mouth with their long, dextrous tongue. A moan escapes him, his fingers moving over their scalp and causing their lashes to flutter.

Once the ice cream has been consumed, Gordon breaks the kiss to mouth at their throat. A shiver rolls down their spine, tipping their head back to give him more room to work. They let out a low whine as they hear him unlatch the choker, knowing exactly where this is going. It was inevitable, they just hadn't expected it to progress this fast. It's silly, really, they had the desire to climb inside him after their first bite.

Their breaths come hot and heavy, as he latches on to their throat, kissing and nipping from chin to collarbone. A whimper slips out of them as they feel his hips grinding into theirs, a groan sounding from low within their throat. They push back, gasping and moaning at the feeling. They've been hard since he pulled them against him, but they were more focused on kissing him and fulfilling his every desire than in pleasuring themself.

"Love you, love you so fucking much," he says. His voice is a breathless whine against their skin. "I wanna—Gimme more and—Can I fuck you? I wanna make love to you…"

His request sends electricity crackling under their skin. "Mhmh—Y-Yeah, please," they breathe, a hand fumbling for the spoon, trembling in anticipation for what Gordon might do next. Their skin prickles with heat and the desire to be touched, lavished with it everywhere Gordon can reach. "Touch me, please, pretty please?" they plead, slipping the spoon inside their mouth upside down before drawing Gordon back into another kiss, passing the frozen treat into his mouth.

They drop the spoon back inside the bowl, their hands shooting down to grasp at his waistband, another dragging at his shirt, unsure how many hands they have right now. The desire to have Gordon undressed and pressed against them and inside them is more important, unbearably so.

They moan aloud as their lips part from his. "Wanna feel you," they breathe, their voice growing rough as they lean their forehead against his, noses brushing. "Just—" they pause as another wave of pink hits, sending a shiver rolling down their spine and a whimper tumbling out past their lips. Combined with the roll of Gordon's hips, it sends warm tingles up through their body to their skull in waves. "—Play, wanna play. Hands on me, find out…"

They don't know how to properly express what they want or mean, instead licking up more ice cream before putting the spoon back, not looking away from Gordon in order to do so. They want everything, want to consume him, be consumed by him. Their body aches for it.

- ♡ -

Sharing the frozen treat between their hot tongues might be the closest Gordon's ever felt to pure bliss. No one has ever made him feel this way before, not even the man he once exchanged vows with. It's just different with Benrey, somehow. With a groan, he pushes up to meet the feverish grinding of Benrey's hips.

"Yeah… fuck yeah, I can play. Make you cum several times before I fuck you. Anything you want, I'll give it to you."

Wrapping their leg tight around Gordon's thigh, Benrey groans, humping his leg. "Y—Yeah, please—Gordon, mmmhh—" Benrey whines into his mouth as his dips down to kiss them, hips moving against him with a fervent abandon. His hands travel up under their shirt, pushing it over their collar where his thumbs rub at their pert nipples, their legs tightening around his thigh and back arching encouragingly into his touch.

"Y-Yeah, that's—OH fuck—" His mouth closing over their nipple has their hips giving a hard jerk. "Good—! Th, Thank you, thank youuuuu—"

Getting their pants open is a clumsy affair, but he manages, wrapping his hand around their hard length and drinking up the way they whine and jerk their hips in response. Thrusting forward against Gordon's hand, Benrey groans. He's about to kiss his way down there when he feels the sweet voice start to wear off, and he's struck with an idea.

A small dollop of ice cream gets placed onto Benrey's nipple, causing them to squirm against the chill. Before the frozen treat has time to melt, he seals his mouth over their nipple, sucking up the mess as he engulfs them in the warmth of his mouth. A harsh breath parts their lips, claws digging into his sleeve.

"More," they beg, whimpering as they push their hips forward into his hand. Their cock gives a hard jerk, leaking precum over Gordon's fingers. "Mmnnhh—please, wanna cum, please…"

Benrey's voice hits Gordon like a bolts of electricity. Raising his head, he spares a moment to observe them, their face a deep blue-violet, color traveling all the way down to their chest. Raven strands of hair form a dark gloria around their head as they stare up at him with golden eyes eclipsed by the black of their pupils. They're breathtaking, ethereal, and beautiful beyond compare.

"I—Fuck, you look amazing. I'm gonna make you feel so good."

- ♡ -

Benrey feels wound up and ready to pop at any moment. Every word out of Gordon's mouth, every brush of skin and teeth and tongue brings them closer to release, teetering dangerously on the edge. A single push in the right direction would be enough, yet they can't quite get there.

Blindly, they fumble for the ice cream, wanting it to make everything more intense, when Gordon's fingers shove past their lips. A gasp escapes them before they register the taste of ice cream on his skin. Eagerly, they lap it up, thoroughly cleaning him with a low moan, shivering with the sensation of a burst of pink entering their system. When he pulls his hand back, Benrey complains, quickly silenced by his kiss that has them dropping back against the pillow afterwards, a dizzy look in their eye.

"Gonna blow your mind," he tells them with a wicked grin, "And your cock."

His words hit them late, not registering what those words actually mean until he's down by their navel, toes curling at the sensation of his tongue dipping inside. "Ffffuck," Benrey groans, head tipping back and hips pushing forward. The thought of fucking his mouth again is beyond tantalizing. Though, they realize they've never been sucked off by him properly. They took full control the last time it happened, so getting to lay back and be spoiled sounds amazing.

As he pushes them onto their back, they spread their legs for him, hands in his hair. Staring down at their own body put on display like this has a wave of heat crashing over them, skin prickling with arousal. Teeth nip at their hips, his plush, moist lips kissing down their treasure trail until he can free their massive length from the confinement of their briefs. It almost slaps him in the face as it springs forth, hard and fat.

The sight of him between their legs, flushed red with their cock in front of his face, has a bead of pre dribbling down their length. Just glancing upon the picture he paints is enough to make Benrey feel like they might burst. As he nuzzles their dick, they gasp, affection surging in their chest.

"Look real tasty down there," they say, moaning at the feeling of Gordon's mouth wrapping around the tip, hips jerking shallowly to rub their cockhead against his lips. "Ahhh—fuck, hhhhnnn—S'good, good, keep going…"

They might've given him too many of their insider secrets fucking his mouth last night, because he's good and they're rapidly unravelling. He rubs their tip against the inside of his cheek, lapping at the sensitive underside while his free hand wraps around the base to stroke in time with his bobbing head.

"Oh fuck—Ffff, f-fast, er, please…" They moan, unashamedly loud, throwing their head back against the pillows. God, they knew he was good at sucking. As he picks up the pace, they only get louder and less coherent, squirming and rutting against the inside of his cheek, forcing their head back down to watch him. He looks so good sucking their cock, so focused, so dedicated, so sweet drawing little hearts into their hip with his finger—"OH fuck, gghhh—Gordon, Gordon—! Hhhhahhh, mmmhhh—!"

With a hard jerk of their hips, Benrey spills inside Gordon's mouth, flooding him with the sweet taste of blue raspberry. The pleasure overwhelms their senses, body twitching sharply from the force of it. Yet they try to focus on him the whole time, on his reaction, on their cock disappearing past his lips, riding high on the intense burst of euphoria until they're totally spent, hips collapsing back onto the bed. They don't—can't—take their eyes off him, breaths heavy and shallow as they come down off their high, plum sweet voice spilling out of their mouth.

"Luh… ahhh… fuck." They can hardly speak, he was right. Their mind is blown and now they need a minute to reboot. "Wah… one moment please," they breathe, struggling to convey this to him. "Yellow-green. Back soon."

- ♡ -

Benrey tastes so good, even better now that the taste of their pre mingles with the traces of strawberry still left on his tongue. They sound amazing as well, every gasp, moan and uttering of his name going directly to Gordon's cock. He's grinding against the bed before he even knows it, too focused on sucking them off to stop the instinctual movement of his hips.

It's the sound of their voice more than anything else that tells Gordon they're about to cum. It always takes on a higher pitch when they're close and by now he's learned to recognise it. Flicking his eyes up so that he can watch them, he greedily swallows down every last drop of their sweet tasting cum. 

His heart skips a beat when he catches them watching, sees them struggling to keep their eyes from closing so that they can watch every second of him swallowing them down. It gives Gordon an amazing view of their face as well, how their eyes light up as a flock of dark purple bubbles flow out between their parted lips. He wants to taste that as well, kiss them while they cum and swallow it down so it takes him with them in their release. The thought has him shuddering against the sheets, cock throbbing.

With all the sweet voice he's eaten, Gordon wonders how much of Benrey he's consumed by now. How much of them is in him, has become a part of him. It's a pleasant thought that has him sucking and lapping up every last trace of cum that spills down his throat.

He keeps at it until Benrey falls limp, until they beg for a moment to rest. With a last swirl of his tongue around their sensitive tip, Gordon lets their cock fall from his lips, crawling up to caress Benrey's mouth in another kiss. After sharing the taste of their own release with them, he peppers their cheeks, nose, forehead and temple with kisses, all the while lazily stroking his own cock.

"You're amazing…" he mumbles against their skin. "Did you know your eyes shine brighter when you cum, like little suns? It's so fucking beautiful."

A lazy smile wobbles on their lips, before they reach up to place a hand on Gordon's neck, redirecting his kisses to their mouth. Kissing them makes it difficult to pace himself, as desire and love mix together in his chest. He speeds up a little, resulting in his hand hitting Benrey's wandering one. Busted, Gordon gives them an apologetic little grin and dutifully removes his hand to let them replace it with their own, stroking him at a leisurely pace. As soon as their slick fingers close around his cock, he groans, pushing into their palm.

"S-Slow down…" he urges them. "Don't wanna cum yet. I wanna be inside you when I do, fill you up."

"Yeah? Dope." Benrey's breaths fan out against his skin as they lean their forehead against him, hand slowing its movements. He swallows down a whine as he sinks back down from the edge.

Laying his head down on the pillow, he watches as Benrey samples more of the ice cream, sliding it off their long, pink to orange tongue and moaning as the taste of the milky treat washes over them. The sight is unexpectedly erotic and Gordon finds himself utterly entranced. After they've licked it clean, they eat more, their face growing more flushed, the blackness of their eyes eclipsing the gold. Finally, they abandon the spoon, grasping onto his face to draw him into a fierce kiss. He sucks in a breath through his nose, moaning as he eagerly reciprocates. Luckily their hand isn't on his cock anymore, because the way their tongue moves inside his mouth would've been too much to handle all at once.

Benrey's hands grasp at his shirt, clumsily yanking it off over his head before he does the same for Benrey, leaving them both topless. As their lips part, Gordon gazes longingly down at them as Benrey says, "Close your eyes and count to ten."

Their command both excites and confuses him, but he closes his eyes with nothing more than a quick, "Alright," counting to ten under his breath. He feels the tentacle writhe against his pelvis before he's even reached seven, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Nine, ten. Well, hello…" Reaching down, he lets the tentacle twist around his fingers as if in greeting, dripping a bright blue fluid down each digit. "I love your cock, Benrey, but I gotta say I've missed this one."

A smirk tugs at Benrey's lips. Carefully untangling his fingers, he follows the suckers on the underside down into the velvety heat that opens up beneath it, sending a shiver down Benrey's spine as his fingers slip inside. He groans at the sensation, hips pushing up in anticipation.

"Fuuuuck…" he groans. "I've definitely missed this. You're so wet already. Can't wait to have me inside you, huh?"

"Yuh, yeah," Benrey quickly agrees, a hand shooting down to rub their thigh and push their legs wider apart. "Got a, ahhh—Vitamin-D deficiency y'know what I—nnghhh…"

A moan tears out of them as he pushes his fingers deeper, adding a third with ease. Teeth dig into their bottom lip, their head tipping back with a pronounced groan. Curling his fingers, he explores the suckers quivering and kissing his fingertips as Benrey drools orange down their chin. A frisson rolls down his spine as he remembers how these suckers feel against his cock.

With his free hand, Gordon fumbles for his spoon, quickly stuffing his face with as much ice cream as he can tolerate while Benrey chuckles at his enthusiasm. Once he's done, he climbs between Benrey's legs, their chests pressed flush together as he kisses them deeply, cutting off their laughter with a moan.

"Gonna fill you up, fuck you until you cum again," he tells them. The sweet voice hits him in that moment, even more powerful now that he's had time to calm down. With a shiver and a moan he presses his forehead to Benrey's, their strawberry-scented breaths mixing together. "K-Kiss me then, I wanna—hnnnghh… wanna taste that purple sweet voice of yours, cum with you."

They shiver at his words. "Yeah. Please," they beg, thighs tensing as they push their hips into him, attempting to fuck themself on his fingers. Their tentacle sticks to Gordon's waist, sucking little circles into his skin. "Wanna cum, please…"

They complain, loudly, as he pulls his fingers out, using the slick to further lubricate his cock before placing the tip against Benrey's quivering hole. An absolutely broken noise comes out of them at the feeling, breaths coming hard and fast, body tense with anticipation.

"Please, fuck, Gordon…" they plead, their voice growing rough with need. "Please? Please—"

Their pleas cut off with a moan as Gordon pushes inside, not stopping until he's fully sheathed inside their glorious, wet heat. "Fuck—!" they gasp. He fills them up so perfectly, like they were made to take his cock. They roll their hips, rubbing him against the underside of their tentacle, suckers kissing little marks into his tender flesh. "Love—love you, please move I can't take it, need my brains fucked out please please please…"

Benrey is so responsive that it drives Gordon mad, their begging together with the sweet voice causing him to snap his hips forward with a force that surprises even himself, shoving a gloriously wanton moan out of Benrey's throat. This is exactly what he's been wanting, craving. Not only is Benrey deliciously tight but the added stimuli of their suckers creates a feeling unlike anything else.

He gasps, pulling out only to push right back inside, setting a pace that makes the sound of skin slapping against skin drown out the sounds coming from the TV. One hand tangles into Benrey's hair, the other moving down to grip their tentacle, letting it wrap and rub against his hand as it so pleases.

"Fuuuck—Benrey… fuck, you feel so good. I—Aahahh—Made for me—Made for me to fuck…"

"Ahhh—Ahhahaha—" Benrey cries out as Gordon drives his hips into them, clinging tighter to his back while their toes curl, legs clumsily wrapping around his back. "Freak shit—Say that shit—Hahhahah…!" Their arms wrap around Gordon's head, keeping their faces pressed together as Benrey's tongue peeks out against their bottom lip.

Letting go of their hair, Gordon slows his pace, blindly reaching out for the ice cream. He scoops up some more, and the moment he has it in his mouth, he crashes their lips together again, wanting more of that feeling where the ice cream melts between their tongues. As Benrey moans and whines into his mouth, Gordon picks up the pace, his thighs slapping against Benrey's as he drives into them over and over again.

"I got you, babe," he breath against their lips, licking up the orange sweet voice drooling down their cheek as they tip their head back, panting with an almost hysterical edge to the sound. "C'mon, cum for me…" As he speaks, he drags his hand over their tentacle, caressing each sucker with his thumb as it writhes in his grasp.

"Oh, god," Benrey groans, their tentacle coiling tightly around Gordon's hand like a leech sucking at his flesh. It dips eagerly between his fingers, rubbing against the space between, smearing their slick into his skin.

Benrey kisses him then, fervently pushing their tongue past his lips to introduce him to the delightfully sweet and rich taste of their dark purple sweet voice. Their body jerks, thighs taut and legs slipping off Gordon's back so their feet can push into the bed, pressing their pelvis flush against Gordon's body. From where it's wrapped around his hand, their tentacle quivers, stiffening as it shoots hot bursts of cum all over his forearm.

He careens over the edge in tandem with them, body twitching as his cock pulses and cums so hard it almost hurts. A broken sound escapes him then, swallowed up by their kiss as he continues to drink down their plum sweet voice. The sensation draws out, bringing him one of the most intense and lengthy orgasms he's ever experienced, the world turning white for one dizzying moment.

In that moment of stillness and nothingness, something seeps through. Something looming over his mind that doesn't feel like him, yet it mirrors the feelings that Benrey's sweet voice gives him, an echo of them inside himself. A presence that dwarfs him in size, tenderly enveloping him in its tendrils as one word resonates through him:

MINE.

When Gordon comes back to his senses, he finds himself momentarily paralyzed, wrapped up in Benrey's many arms. As the world comes back from the purple tinted haze he just plunged into, Gordon notices a few things.

One, he's still hard and buried balls deep inside Benrey, oversensitivity starting to set in. Two, Benrey is shivering like a leaf against him, tears slipping down their cheeks, and worry hits like a cold bucket of water until he notices the third thing. Benrey is kissing him, whispering little declarations of love as they do so that help him to relax into their hold. 

"I love you too, Benrey," he assures them. He's said it several times over the last few days, but never have the words felt more true than they do now. He doesn't know if it's because of the sweet voice he's consumed, or the endorphins coursing through his body, but something has put him at ease. For the first time since… ever, it feels like he's both fully aware and fully at peace. "Hey, it's okay."

Turning his head, he captures Benrey's lips in a soft kiss, unhurried and lazy unlike their earlier ones. When he pulls back it's to lean their foreheads together, his eyes searching Benrey's glowing ones. They don't appear to be crying anymore, reassuring him that they were probably just overwhelmed, not upset. He can understand. It's happened to him before, and he's not about to mock them for it.

"I need to rest for a moment, but," Gordon starts, an idea forming in his head that he would love to try if Benrey has the energy for it. If not, well, they have a whole future ahead of them. "There's one more thing… Can you handle more, one more… for me? There's something I want to try…"

- ♡ -

Something's happened just now, something to bind the two of them together permanently. It's overwhelming, causing tears to slip down Benrey's cheeks as they cling to Gordon with a strength no human can match. Their body shakes, and though they know they're going to worry him, they keep kissing his face, whispering I love you's into his skin.

It's lucky that he doesn't interrogate them for this behavior, because Benrey's not sure how to explain themself. This isn't something that happens to them. They're a great cool and they don't cry after sex, they, like, do cool guy things, like cuddle and play video games. But this is different. Different even from the sex they've had with Tommy. It's hard to describe… in a normal, sane way.

Otherwise, they'd describe it as wanting to climb inside Gordon's skin and have a little nap curled up in his guts. Take root in his bones and establish themselves as part of him forever. Even they're aware this isn't a normal thing to say, and it's probably just a morbid interpretation of a feeling they've never felt before.

"Mmm," Benrey hums, nose squished against Gordon's face.

It takes awhile for them to properly resurface, wading deep in something they don't want out of. A deep sense of peace comes over them, better than being bundled up in warm blankets in a cozy bed, better than a warm drink on a cold night, better than dipping into a warm bath and getting lathered up with fancy soaps. It's what they've always wanted, to feel so attuned to Gordon that they become two halves of a whole, connected at last. Clinging to him so that their bodies press into each other, all the way down to their legs curling up along Gordon's so not a single inch of them isn't touching him in some way.

Eventually the haze that comes over their mind starts to dissipate, and they breathe deep and slow. They're back just in time to hear Gordon speak, slowly processing his meaning as they roll the concept around in their mind. More… yeah, they don't want to stop. That's what this was all about, to Benrey at least—exploring, messing around, having fun playing on each other's bodies. Getting to know each other intimately. They want everything, wanna do everything.

Their voice is rough when they speak up, loosening their grip on Gordon to gently massage his skin and hair, soothing any aches they may have caused by squeezing him for so long. "Don't… uh, 'm not human. Don't ever gotta stop," Benrey explains. It takes awhile for them to translate their meaning from the abstractions in their mind to verbal human language, but they get there eventually. "Sucks for you, can't go five-ever like me."

"Hmm…" Gordon hums. "Doesn't feel like it sucks for me right now. Maybe I picked up a thing or two from you."

Caressing the side of his face, they lean in to kiss him again, feeling much more alert now. "Do anything for you anyway," they continue. "Tell me about it."

Moments like these are the absolute peak, nothing but cuddling and basking in the afterglow together. Pillow talk, they think it's called. A moment of total intimacy, any and all stress fucked out of them with Gordon still sheathed inside them, letting them keep that blissful feeling of fullness around for longer.

Gently, Gordon untangles the hand he still has wrapped around their tentacle, cupping their face with it. Leaning into his hand, they sigh contentedly.

"You," Gordon starts, before his voice drops an octave, growing rough as he says, "Just have to roll over and present for me."

The words are like a blow to the chest, temporarily winding Benrey as they stare up at him with slightly widened eyes. Heat unfurls in their gut, and they swallow hard, breaths growing unsteady. A few things jump to the forefront of their mind as a response, but they get tangled up in each other, such that Benrey can only open their mouth and let a rusty sweet voice bubble drift out.

Once everything's properly processed in their brain and the shock has passed, Benrey scurries to sit up, gently urging Gordon back to give them room to work.

"Yeah, thought you'd like that," Gordon smugly comments, chuckling at their enthusiasm.

They whine as his cock slips out of them, as does he, hissing at the feeling. Flipping over, they grab their favorite bolster pillow from nearby, wrapping their arms around it as they bury their face into it. Lifting their hips into the air, they form an extra pair of arms just to reach back, gripping their thighs and spreading themself open. The position itself has their body singing with arousal, hole glistening with their slick and pulsing eagerly, longing to be filled again.

Unless he doesn't want that. Their mind races, does he even want to fuck them? He never said anything about what he was going to do. Their body is taut with anticipation, staring back at him the best they can.

That's when the pillow gets ripped out of their arms with an unexpected degree of rancor. "Bro, wha'the hell…"

"If you need something to hold onto," Gordon hisses into their ear, "It's gonna be me, or nothing at all." 

His words have their stomach clenching in arousal, the possessiveness digging into them and setting their body ablaze. With their favorite pillow gone, their claws grasp onto the remaining ones beneath their head, watching Gordon from over their shoulder until they can't anymore and burying their face in the plush fabrics.

Soft kisses trail down their spine, until they feel Gordon's fingers spreading them, eliciting a sharp gasp followed by a sigh. Their tentacle writhes around before he wraps his hand around it, the twitching appendage going stiff as his tongue draws over the base. Benrey groans, parting their legs even wider. The tip of his tongue dips inside them, lapping up their slick.

So this is what he wanted—they definitely aren't complaining, their hole pulsing around his tongue. Though he soon pulls out, drawing his tongue up towards their other hole, coaxing out a gasp at the sudden intrusion inside their ass even if it's just for a moment. The tease has them craving more, made much more acutely aware of that part of their body and how much it's aching to be filled.

"You can cum if you want to," Gordon tells them, pulling back to wipe some of the slick from his beard and correct his glasses. "Just know I'm not stopping until I hear a safeword, or until I've filled you at least one more time."

"Fuck yeah," Benrey groans into the pillow. Truth be told they'd wanted to ask for exactly that, to be fucked into the mattress like a dog. This pillow pile is a fine alternative, though. Some of it still smells like Gordon, and they inhale deeply, eyes rolling back at the scent. "Turn me into your cute little, cream filled donut, sirrrr…"

A startled whine escapes them as Gordon's teeth sink into the tender flesh of their inner thigh, leg twitching sharply against the sudden pressure. "Yessssss," they groan, growing even louder as his jaw clenches tighter into their flesh, the sting driving them mad. As if that weren't enough, his thick fingers shove inside their hole, reducing them to a quivering mess. "Mmmmhh—! Thuhh—ahhh—th-thank—youuuu—mmnnhhh, hhhnn…!"

Once Gordon's satisfied with the dark mark he's left on one thigh, he switches to the other, leaving Benrey desperate to hold onto something. Eventually they end up with their arms wrapped around their chest, clutching tightly to their bicep and the side of their neck. And as if that wasn't enough, as if their hole wasn't already quivering and dripping slick down Gordon's wrist, tentacle writhing and rubbing against his hand—his tongue presses against their asshole, tearing a gasp out of them. As it penetrates past the ring of muscle Benrey cries out, arms tightening around their body.

"Oh god—! Hahh—fuuuahh—fuck—" The triple stimulation is so much, their hips rocking back into his tongue and forward into his hands. Incoherent noise tumbles out past their lips, words stumbled over and aborted, not sure what they're trying to say, if they even have anything to say. The rhythm of his fingers and tongue fucking both their holes while his hand strokes over their tentacle is so much to handle, their mind is fizzling out.

"C'mon, cum for me like this and I'll fuck you properly again," Gordon pants against their skin, biting down on the globe of their ass before going back to tongue fucking them again.

"Ahhh—!" they cry out as teeth sink into their ass, the motion of their hips stuttering for a moment. "God, you're—you're fucking—gonna kill me, gonna die, mean, mean to me—Fuck, fuck, I'm gonna—Mnnhh…!"

They whine as the pressure between their legs overflows, both their holes clenching around him as their cock coils tight around his hand. It hits them hard, their body jerking and squirming desperately from the force of it, arms squeezing around themself, plum sweet voice shooting out of their mouth. When it finally passes, their body goes limp, and only then does Gordon ease out of them. They drop onto the mattress, curling up and grabbing the nearest, big-enough pillow to hold against their body while they calm down. They continue to whine as small sparks of pleasure have their body twitching, chest heaving with their every breath.

"Nice," Benrey pants, "Nice to me…"

Gordon chuckles. "Oh, so now you're changing your tune?" He eases the pillow out of their arms, and they're about to bitch and complain when he moves in to replace it, wrapping them up in his arms. Their mood instantly brightens, curling around him with their whole body. A low purr emanates from deep within their chest, flooding the air around them with a warm pink sweet voice.

"Did so good," Gordon tells them. "Fuck, you're pretty like this. You okay with me fucking you again? I can fuck your ass this time, give your other hole a rest."

They're relieved at the chance to take a break, having been certain he'd fuck them no matter how pathetic they looked after their last orgasm. Being given no break would have been fun too, it's thrilling to be overwhelmed and fucked senseless, but the mood tonight has been more passionate and experimental than frenzied.

A yellow-green orb escapes Benrey's mouth in response to Gordon's question. His hands rubbing over their back help soothe them, a low sigh parting their lips as his hands reach their ass. A choked noise comes out of them at the sensation of a thick finger prodding at their hole there, easily slipping inside and sending a wave of pleasure crashing over them.

"Ahhh… uhhh," Benrey groans, brows furrowing at the feeling. They bury their face in his chest, their shuddering breaths growing louder, interspersed with low moans and grunts. As they notice Gordon's cock pressing against their hip, Benrey's gaze darts down to look, hole clenching around his finger in anticipation. "Green… y, yeah, fuck me, please. Please?"

"I will, don't worry," he assures them. "Not like this though. I, uhh… I want to try something."

There's the urge to complain as Gordon eases out of their arms, but they bite it back, encouraging themself to be patient. After how many times they've cum tonight, there's hardly a rush. Their body is goo as it is. It just sucks to be left all cold and empty, even if it's just for a few moments as Gordon repositions them to suit his needs. It feels nice getting handled by such big, strong hands.

Soon enough, they're on their knees again, ass up and legs spread wide. But this time, they have Gordon leaning over them, his warm body pressing into their back, bracing himself on his forearm above their head. They sigh contentedly at the press of his body, though it's his arm that has their attention. They scramble to wrap their arms around it, kissing his hairy flesh before nuzzling in against it. Not the same as having something pressed up against their chest, but it satisfies their need to squeeze.

That's when they feel the head of his cock lined up with their asshole, a shiver running up their spine. "This okay?" Gordon asks. "If you still need it, I'll eat some sweet voice and fuck you again in my arms."

"Might," is all they manage to respond to that. Though they get the feeling they're gonna be pretty tuckered out after this anyway.

Nuzzling into the side of their face, Gordon presses a kiss to Benrey's jaw, and they turn their head to return it before laying back down. "I'm gonna take care of you," he assures them. "Fuck you any way you want or need…"

Wiggling their hips a little, they push back against him, encouraging rather than trying to force him inside before he's ready. "Okay," Benrey breathes. Their mind isn't working super well, consumed by base urges and the anticipation of his cock pressing deep inside them. Their thumbs rub against his arm, dazing dizzily back at him.

"Good boy," Gordon mumbles before finally sliding inside.

The sensation of being filled at last has Benrey whimpering pathetically, pleasure tingling up their spine. They push back into Gordon, breathing hard and squeezing his arm tighter. His praise rolls around in their head, that low good boy playing on repeat. They are good. The feeling it gives them is addicting, and they might get real clingy and annoying if he keeps this up.

"F-Fuck, Benrey… is every hole you have made to be fucked?"

"Ye—Ahhhh—!" Benrey's response gets cut off halfway, crying out at the unexpectedly hard thrust that has their claws scrabbling at Gordon's arm, squeezing tight but avoiding cutting him with their nails. As he sets his pace, Benrey focuses on the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of them, filling and stretching them. Pale blue slick sticks to his skin, making the glide even better. "Ahh—Ahhahaha—Hhhh, harder, please…"

As he starts to thrust faster, Benrey's whines turn to full-throated moans, drooling all over Gordon's arm and occasionally pressing their lips against him, licking and kissing and sucking little marks. Each snap of his hips forces a shallow breath out of them, moaning in sync with each thrust.

"'S—Goooddd—Th-Thank you…!" they babble between breaths, barely coherent, voice taking on a higher pitch, desperate and whiny. The harder Gordon thrusts, the louder Benrey gets, eyes rolling back, tongue resting against their bottom lip. "Th—uhhhahhhh—th-thank youuuu…"

So lost in the sensation of being fucked are they that they don't anticipate Gordon's next move in the slightest. The positioning should have given it away but their mind is too fucked-out to function that well.

A set of teeth sink into their nape, tearing a gasp out of them. Heat crashes over them, burning them up twice as hot, eyes dilating to dark voids. Their mind empties of anything but submitting, of being a perfect hole for Gordon to fill. The push of their hips back onto his cock halts completely, legs locking in place, obediently holding themself perfectly still for him. The kissing and sucking is reduced to open-mouthed panting. Every word out of their mouth is no more, instead reduced to loud moans and the erotic song of their orange sweet voice.

All they care about is being good, holding still so they can be filled and bred like a good boy, like Gordon called them earlier. They don't even care about getting off, don't care that their aching cock has nothing to couple with, although their sense of pleasure has heightened. All they can feel is Gordon, his teeth in their neck, his chest at their back, his cock driving into them. Nothing else matters, nothing but bending over and getting fucked like the bitch they are.

That thought is what ends up driving them over the edge, crying out with a burst of plum, hole clenching around him as they quiver and shoot ropes of cum against the bedsheets. The pleasure that washes over them tingles all the way up the back of their skull, toes curling. This doesn't matter to them either, they won't be satisfied until he's filled them with his seed. The rust sweet voice resumes, expressing their desire for him to keep going without pause.

Though he pauses anyway, waiting for their orgasm to pass before he resumes his thrusts. It's pure bliss. Benrey's swimming in the feeling of being taken, of being marked and bred, giving over everything they have to be the perfect mate. So when Gordon finally releases deep inside them, the feeling is indescribable—the pleasure that hits them is unparalleled, almost too much, shorting out their brain and blotting out their vision. They cum again, clenching hard around Gordon's cock, desperate to hold it in place so he can't pull out. They need it, need it all, every last drop, shaking from the force of it, more plum sweet voice drifting out of their mouth.

There's a moment between Gordon easing out and him releasing their neck in which Benrey whines, fear, despair, and insecurity washing over them. Then the teeth buried in their neck rescind and all of those negative feelings vanish. Slowly, reality floods back in, logic waking up from its slumber deep within the recesses of their mind. He isn't pulling out because they were bad, but because he'll get oversensitive otherwise. It's not like he can knot them and breed them the way their body craves him to.

These facts roll around in their mind, reassuring them as they curl up against Gordon, resting their hands against his chest. Yet, despite all that, the fear remains. It makes zero sense but they can't get rid of it, it remains lodged inside their brain waiting to be plucked free.

That's when Gordon starts humming. The melody strikes them as instantly familiar, their eyes growing wide. The tune is a little off, but unlike human language, where Benrey needs to take the time to process and translate, they recognize the sound of sweet voice when they hear it. The melody he's humming is unrefined, but still plainly the shade of pink they most often hum around him. The message is clear. He loves them, they did good for him. Relief floods them, drowning out the insecurity with tenderness and love.

Benrey's hands raise, caressing either side of Gordon's face so they can angle him to look at them. Once they've got his attention, they hum a different melody, pink to blue. It's longer and more complex than a simple pink by itself, but still a gentle, soothing melody sung directly from the heart, encompassing a sense of passion and the joy to be found in the bond shared with another. Peaceful, carefree, and easy.

They're more eager than Gordon could possibly ever know to hear him sing their song back at them. They watch him expectantly as he blinks slowly up at the colorful orbs, casting their nest in a soft, pastel glow. A smile spreads across his face, excitement and pride glinting in his eyes. After a few fumbling attempts, he manages to hum the melody back.

Benrey can't contain themself. They throw their arms around him, squeezing just on the verge of painful. They've been parroting I love yous back and forth all night but it's much different hearing it in their own language. More intimate. Almost like hearing it for the first time, like getting confessed to all over again.

Excited, Benrey peppers Gordon's neck with kisses, nose brushing up against his jaw. A laugh bubbles forth out of Gordon's throat, squeezing them back equally hard. To express their feelings in their own tongue and have them echoed back at them is deeply satisfying, a barrier being broken and allowing them to truly connect.

This kind of attachment won't be good for them if Gordon ever decides to leave. But that idea is unfathomable in this moment. Of course Gordon will always be there, they're one and the same, two parts of a whole, bonded for life.

Even if they would never dare to say any of those things, lest it freak him out. Also because it's just too embarrassing in English. They'll confess it in sweet voice as much as they like, though, all day and all night.

Maybe one day they'll teach him some sweet voice, both the meanings as close to human words as they can get them, and the melodies themselves. Gordon seems like the type who can't differentiate between cream and beige so the audio portion might be easier to convey. He can carry a note well enough. The idea excites them even further, breaking down even more of those barriers between them. He's shown them so much, after all, maybe it's their turn to do the same.

The second they lift their head, Gordon dips down to claim their lips with his own. Sighing into the kiss, Benrey melts against him, purring with contentment.

Yellow eyes flick across Gordon's face as they part, memorizing every inch of his skin, the shape of his face. This is so special, that they get to see Gordon like this, disheveled and red for reasons other than constant strife and warfare. The softness of his eyes, the fond smile on his lips. No one else gets this. No one else gets to lie here with him, noses brushing, gazing lovingly upon his face. Only Benrey.

A soft gasp escapes them when his fingertips brush over the bite mark on their nape. Heat warms their face. The gesture registers as possessive in their mind, up until he guides their hand to the matching mark on his neck. Their fingers twitch, hesitating before laying their hand down, claws gently tracing over the puncture wounds. Leaning their foreheads together, Gordon hums the pink to blue melody again.

Without any need for words, a message is conveyed. He is theirs and they are his, bound and connected. They'd do anything for him, and they get the feeling he'd do the same. From here on out, no matter how difficult their journey gets, they're in it together as one. Or it means nothing at all and they're just getting intense and optimistic, but can they really be blamed for that? This situation is intense.

Even though no words or song are needed, the feelings that overwhelm Benrey have to come out. Pink, red, blue, yellow, green, so many colors in a tangled mess of emotion. He has to lean back to avoid the sudden onslaught of color smacking him in the face, following each one as they float up into the air before eventually twinkling out. If they weren't the one experiencing it, they're not sure they'd even be able to read it. It doesn't matter, though, even in such an unrefined and chaotic state they're sure Gordon understands, that he understands at least a fraction of how they feel.

The melody tapers off into pink and blue as they press forward, kissing Gordon with everything they have, their hand on the back of his neck pulling him in close and keeping him there. They're not sure what to do with themself anymore, clinging to Gordon like they need him to breathe, yet they don't even need to breathe. Their mind continues to be devoid of anything but raw emotion. What comes next, usually? The aftercare? All they want is to stay here, in Gordon's arms, for as long as he'll have them.

"I got you," he mumbles as the kiss breaks, pulling Benrey against his chest while burying his face in their soft hair. "I'm here, not going anywhere."

His words are a gentle balm on Benrey's soul. Everything they feel, could it really be true that those feelings are reflected in Gordon as well? There's no doubt in their mind, it's just so incredible. Like some fantasy they'd have while high off their own sweet voice, watching Gordon sleep away another hard day surviving Back Mesa. But this is very much real, and…

They wish they could say they're overjoyed and leave it at that, but they're afraid, too. Gordon will never leave them—right?—but what if something takes him from them? Do they have the power to stop it? Black Mesa held them captive for so long that it wore down their spirit. They'd love to say that spirit has been reignited, that they'd fight tooth and nail to return to this normal, this world where they're with Gordon, where they eat ice cream and breathe in fresh, forest air and swim in lakes and listen to birdsong outside their window every morning. But would they? Could they?

There's a reason they never escaped Black Mesa, and it's not for lack of trying. They're not perfect. Someone else could exploit their weaknesses the very same way, wear them back down. And there's no escape from that, no mercy in death, not for an immortal being.

The only thing they can do is believe. In themself, and in Gordon. In this world… they don't think they could ever trust in this world, not after the life they've lived, but they have to keep fighting. As they feel Gordon slip away into a realm of dreams, snoring softly into their hair with his hand held over the mark on their neck, they understand. They have something far too precious to lose now.

Chapter Text

For once, Gordon doesn't dream, instead drifting through a velvety darkness where time doesn't exist. After some time spent in floating in the nothingness, sensation starts to peek through, a tickling feeling on his neck that he's about to swat at when a voice breaks through the haze.

"Gordon," the voice says, insistent. "Wakey eggs bakey. Come say hi to me, and the sun, with me."

Benrey? Blearily, he opens his eyes, squinting as he struggles to take in the world around him. The room is bathed in darkness, the only thing visible being a pair of glowing golden eyes.

"Whuh…?" Where is he, and why is there such a profound sense of happiness in his chest?

As his eyes adjust to the dark, he takes in the blanket canopy surrounding them, memories of the previous night slowly seeping back into his mind. Remembering everything they'd done together has his face growing hot. Though the pink sweet voice from last night's ice cream gave him so many warm, fluttery feelings, the effects are long gone. Yet he still feels that way. It's all there. A sense of connection and belonging, like something that once held them apart has finally been eradicated.

The memory of their little impromptu sweet voice lesson also returns, and a smile spreads on Gordon's face. Sitting up, he tries to hum the pink and blue melody again, not quite accounting for sleep making his throat dry and raspy. The noisy croaking isn't exactly romantic, and he snorts a laugh at the sound.

"Fuck, sorry, that was supposed to be—I'm gonna have to do it my way." Cupping Benrey's cheek, Gordon places a soft kiss to Benrey's lips. They sigh softly into it, and he feels their hand trail down along his side. "Mornin' love."

The blue and gray orbs of sweet voice that light up the interior of the fort are ones Gordon doesn't recognize—gray? Have they made that one before? He didn't think sweet voice came in shades. As Benrey's lips part to speak, he's surprised by the low, drowsy nature of their voice, sending a shiver down his spine.

"You ready for… uh, day? Time?" Benrey asks. "Got, two hours until sun's up. Plenty time to do whatever you gotta do before our little dew date. Date with, grass. Gay little picnic under the sunrise."

Hearing that brings back Gordon's memory of the date they had planned. He'd forgotten all about it. They're going to watch the sunrise and feel the early morning dew beneath their feet, all because Benrey wanted to help him experience something from his childhood again. There is such profound kindness in that act that Gordon finds himself nearly tearing up.

Even though he'd much rather sleep for a few more hours, he's grateful to Benrey for waking him up. Very soon, they'll have to leave this place, venture out into the grand unknown to experience all kinds of horrors. It's a scary thought. But getting up now ensures he'll have time to enjoy this place before he has to say goodbye.

"I'm ready," Gordon eventually says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and reaching for his glasses as he does. "I'mma take a shower before breakfast. You wanna join?"

Benrey grins at Gordon's suggestion. "Hoped you'd say that," they say, pecking him on the lips before sitting up on their knees.

As they lift him up into their arms, Gordon wheezes a laugh, clinging to them while Benrey climbs out of bed. They maneuver about so effortlessly, as if he doesn't weigh over two hundred pounds and stand a head taller than them. Some might find it emasculating, but not Gordon. It's flattering to be treated like a dainty little princess, spoiled and carried around. Meshes well with the little pet fantasy he has.

So instead of complaining, he takes the opportunity to shower their face in kisses, up until the moment he's set down on the edge of the tub. Benrey's draped a towel over the porcelain this time, protecting his bare ass from the cold. It's a small gesture but it makes him smile regardless.

Stretching languidly where he sits, Gordon listens as his back makes a series of satisfying pops. There's a pleasant ache in his limbs, courtesy of the marathon fucking from last night. The memory brings a smile to his face and a twitch to his cock. In the corner of his eye, he notices the dim glow of Benrey's eyes raking over his body as he stretches out, their tongue gliding over their teeth like they've just seen something delicious. Gordon's smile turns into as smirk as he leans back even further, putting his whole body on display.

"See something you like, Benrey?" he teases. Only yesterday, he'd have been too shy to flaunt his body like this. In the past few years he's developed something of a dad bod, hairy and with a lot more fat than he had in college. But he'd have to be blind not to see the undisguised lust in Benrey's eyes as they gaze at him from head-to-toe, appreciating every inch.

"Always, bro," they answer, bending to press a slow, lingering kiss to his lips, their hand laid down over the side of his neck, feeling his pulse flutter. Their lips taste sweet, and Gordon isn't content with just one kiss. The two of them chase after each other's lips, kissing with a passion that builds and builds, as Benrey kneels down along the steps to the bath. A shiver wracking their body is what inevitably draws them apart. "Ahhh it's COLD," they complain.

Gordon hasn't noticed anything wrong with the temperature, apart from the obvious chill from walking around naked before dawn. But it's different for Benrey. Their cold-blooded nature was one of the first things he learned about them on this little trip of theirs.

As they step away, Gordon watches them stare between the taps and the showerhead, a confused look on their face. Right, they've only ever showered in the locker rooms at Black Mesa, of course this is a bit confusing for them. To be honest, these types of modern bath/shower combos tend to take him a minute to figure out as well, they always seem to work differently from each other.

"Here, lemme try it," Gordon says. Luckily he has more experience with this sort of thing than Benrey does, so he gets up to fiddle with the taps himself, angling his body so Benrey can watch. Although a bath would be lovely, it'll make him sleepier than he already is, so they'll have to go with a shower. "How hot do you want it? I'm guessing hotter than me, so crank it up as high as you want and I'll lower it to a temperature I can handle. Sounds good?"

"Nothing hotter than you," Benrey responds with a lazy grin, before beginning to mess with the taps to adjust the temperature. Which mostly consists of them turning the cold water all the way off before blasting the hot, jumping right in with no issue. As Gordon wheezes a laugh, they look back at him with an utterly blank expression, their eyes wide and questioning.

"Not that hot, bud. Not unless you want me to melt," Gordon says, readjusting the taps to be about 80/20 in favor of hot water. It's not warm enough to scald, but hotter than he'd normally go. Despite the temperature, it still feels heavenly as he steps inside, closing the shower doors behind him so he can wash off yesterday's grime. You don't fuck four different times without building up a bit of a stink. Luckily, Benrey never complained, so it can't have been too bad.

Benrey stands behind him, winding their arms around his waist where the showerhead washes over them both, letting out a deep and loud sigh of relief that has their breaths fanning out over his upper back.

"Feels good?" he asks with a smile, trying his best to look back at them, but all he can see is hair.

"Mmmh," they respond.

Their arms around his waist and their weight against his back keeps him grounded, reminding him of just how lucky he is to be here. Regardless of what awaits him outside this place of safety and warmth, he'll have Benrey by his side. 

And Benny, for that matter. He still needs to have a talk with Benrey about the changes they're going through. It doesn't seem to be dangerous, since Benny hasn't behaved any less politely than usual, and Gordon doesn't believe Benrey would ever let something dangerous hang around him like that. So whatever's got them so freaked out about it must be something else.

Maybe it's about control. If Benny's developing a mind of their own, no longer obeying Benrey's every whim, that's gotta be a little scary for them. Though for Gordon, it just piques his curiosity. Which is something he needs to be extra careful about. Benrey's spent enough of their life being studied, they don't need their boyfriend putting them, and Benny for that matter, under the microscope. What they need is help understanding what's going on, theories and observations to put their mind at ease. Hopefully Gordon will be able to provide that.

He's pulled out of these thoughts by Benrey's lips on his neck, reverently pressing kisses to each bite mark one by one. A soft gasp escapes him, goosebumps blooming on his skin despite the hot water. 

"B-Benrey…" he breathes. Reaching behind him, he tangles his hand in their wet locks of hair, gently holding them against him. "Next time you bite me, don't heal it." The words are out before he's had time to process them, letting his desires be known. He wants the marks to scar into his skin, little bumps to remind him of Benrey and the bond they share even when they aren't by his side.

"Kinda freaky, Freeman," Benrey responds in a low voice, before moving to kiss the puncture wounds again. That's when their tongue darts out, gently lapping at the pink marks.

If not for the fact he doesn't want them to stop, he'd have spun around and pushed them up against the wall by now. If they'd let him. The difference in power despite Benrey's smaller stature is thrilling to think about. And yet, it's not their alien strength that keeps him pinned to the spot, but the slow kisses and licks to the mark they left on him.

As their lips worship the mark on his neck, their hands wander. Somehow, a bottle of bodywash has appeared in their hand when he wasn't looking, and they squirt a generous amount into their palm before rubbing both together. The bubbly soap gets smeared over his waist, rubbed into his skin up over his chest and down across his thighs. They're such a tease, touching him everywhere except the one place he wants them the most.

Their hands trail up over Gordon's chest, not exactly subtle in the way they grope him. He gasps and whines as they rub their fingers over his nipples, which harden in Benrey's grasp. Another hand slowly dips back down over his navel to his thigh, groping him here, as well, breaths quickening as they squeeze the thick flesh. Rubbing the soap into his skin, they pay extra attention to the crook of his thigh, fingers teasing close to his cock but refusing to touch, even as his hips buck forward in search of friction.

"Benreeeey…" he wines, hand gripping desperately into their hair. "You're so f-fucking mean."

He can feel the shape of Benrey's smirk plainly against his skin. "Whuh? Bro, I'm helping, I'm sooooo nice," they say, while groping a meaty chunk of his thigh. "Washing my bestest bro… my beloved, my silly little rabbit. Don't gotta lift a finger." One of theirs is stroking over Gordon's nipple, slowly circling it.

"No, you're not!" Gordon snaps back, with no real heat except the arousal in his voice. "You're a tease, and—Ahhaa—Fuuuuck…"

Whatever insult he was trying to form morphs into a gasp and a curse as Benrey wrap their lips over one of the puncture wounds and sucks. Pleasure sparks like little fireworks all over his body, his hips rocking back to rub his ass against their swiftly hardening cock. Human shaped this time, it seems. Their hips move in small increments, rubbing their erection against him.

Squirting more of the bodywash into their hands, Benrey gives up the act, wrapping one hand around Gordon's neglected cock while the other dips down to massage the soap into his balls. Only then does Gordon finds his voice again. 

"Fuahh—Fuck yessss, thank you, Ben—ahhh—love you…"

"You see," Benrey breathes against his skin, sounding just as out of breath as he does. "I love to be nice."

The touch sets his body on fire, his hips bucking into their touch, shamelessly fucking their hand. The soap makes the glide so perfect, and with the heat of the water it almost feels like he's fucking them. Except, like this there's the added bonus of their cock grinding between his ass cheeks. He'd love to bend over and beg for them to fuck him, but that would be a one way ticket to concussion town, so he'll have to make do with them hot dogging him for now.

It doesn't take long for him to reach the edge, hips twitching forward and a low, throaty whine parting his lips as his orgasm crashes over him. "Nice," Benrey breathes at the sight of his cum spurting over their fingers, stroking him until they've milked him dry. As his legs start to buckle, they hastily wrap both arms around him, keeping him held up. "I gotchu, no worries."

For a while, all Gordon does is lean back against them, slowly catching his breath. Some of their many hands run up and down his waist, gently massaging his skin as the water runs down over his body. It's relaxing, and helps bring him down off the euphoric high of his recent orgasm. Even better with the kisses they're idly pressing along his neck and shoulder.

Once he feels less like one big pile of jelly, Gordon pushes back up and turns around. There's a moment where Benrey leans towards him, clearly expecting a kiss, but he drops to his knees instead. Here, he runs his hands along their thighs, looking up at them through wet eyelashes, his mouth hanging open in silent invitation, too tired to use his words. Their breath stutters in disbelief as they see him, golden eyes going wide. They place their hands in Gordon's hair, brushing the wet strands back out of his face before cupping the sides of his head.

"So pretty," they breathe, sending a shiver down his spine as they direct his head to their cock, tentative, as if they expect he's going to protest. Their tip rubs over his tongue, which he sticks out further as his stomach clenches with arousal, before they finally push past his lips. The shiver that runs over them is visible, instilling Gordon with a sense of pride. All he needs to do is to sit still with his tongue hanging out, drooling all over his beard as they take their pleasure from his mouth.

That isn't to say he doesn't help out, sealing his lips around their length and hollowing out his cheeks to make it all warm and snug for them. As he does, they stare down at him with a dazed look in their eyes, the black eclipsing the gold like little crescent moons. Holding his head still, they rock their hips shallowly into him.

Though humming with his mouth full is tricky, Gordon makes the attempt anyway, finding the pitch for the orange-flavored one Benrey so often hums in moments like this. He knows it works when the vibration has Benrey's head tipping back, the same dull orange melody he's been imitating parting their lips and lighting up the bath in a warm amber glow as they start jerking their hips a little faster.

"Fuuuuck," Benrey groans, their grip on Gordon tightening. He runs his hands along their legs as they continue to fuck his mouth, marveling at the smoothness of their skin. Once he reaches their thighs he stops, thumbs pressing into the bite marks he left there last night. They've deepened in color now, turning into a vivid blue and purple. Every touch to the marks has Benrey's thighs twitching and more sweet voice filling the air.

He's so ready to swallow down every last drop of them that when they pull out he can't help but whine. Until he sees Benrey grab their cock, and his disappointment vanishes. Their other hand holds his head in place as he watches the way their hand works over their cock, sticking out his tongue to catch their inevitable release.

Though it hardly takes more than five seconds before their pale blue cum splatters against his face. It's pure instinct that has him close his eyes in time, which is a shame, since he won't get to see the way their cock twitches as they cum. At least he gets most of it in his mouth, though a lot of it paints his cheeks and drips down over the bridge of his nose as well. His breaths have grown heavy again, his face nearly overheating from the degradation of the act. When the last remaining drop starts to trail down their tip, they wipe it off on his tongue, tearing a moan from his throat, wet and keening.

As they tip his head up by the chin to inspect his face, he holds still, letting them see the mess they unloaded onto his tongue. The sight has Benrey's breath growing even more unsteady, little wheezing whimpers mixing in. "Fuck, you look good," they breathe.

Suddenly, they drop down to their knees, grabbing his face to pull him into a scathing kiss, licking inside his mouth without a care. He does his best to keep up, rubbing his tongue against theirs to share the taste of their cum. The showerhead is already washing away the mess on his face but that doesn't stop them from pulling back to draw their tongue over it, lapping it up with a low moan.

Despite the hot water he's shivering when they pull back, eyes glazed over and mouth falling open again. He cuddles closer to Benrey, head falling onto their shoulder. The water is going to run cold if they stay like this for too long but he indulges for a little while anyway. They still have time.

"Love you," Benrey says, turning their head to kiss the shell of his ear. "Love touching you, love the way you sound…"

"I love you too," he murmurs against their skin, his arms lazily winding around their back. "Feels really good, taking care of you like this. You deserve to feel good." Life has been cruel to Benrey for far too long, and any amount of pleasure Gordon can bring them feels like a victory.

Benrey reaches for a bottle of shampoo, selecting a soft, vanilla scent and squirting it into their hands. They thoroughly lather Gordon's hair with it, massaging his scalp and kissing his brow as they work. When they're done, they find a way to detach the showerhead, fumbling with the settings before getting a gentle spray to wash out his hair with. He remains pliant in their grasp, allowing them to position his head to their needs. Conditioner comes next, and when he sees the dark chocolate scent advertised on the bottle, he can't help but snort a laugh. 

"You're gonna make me smell like a cupcake," he says. Not that he minds, Gordon far prefers it over most "manly" hygiene products. If he wanted to go around smelling like "Pine and Gun" he'd have become a boot boy.

For now Gordon is happy just being spoiled like this, Benrey's soft hands touching him as they start to hum and then sing. The melody is familiar—Don't Fear The Reaper. It brings back memories of late night Guitar Hero sessions in his college dorm, and he has to bite back a "more cowbells" joke, not wanting to interrupt this rare moment of hearing Benrey sing. With a voice like theirs, Gordon never would have expected them to sing so beautifully, outside their hauntingly beautiful sweet voice, of course. The songs they sing take on an almost ethereal and somber tone, especially with the reverb of the bathroom around them.

When the conditioner is rinsed out, Gordon's prepared to have to untangle himself from their comfortable embrace. That's when Benrey starts to comb out his hair with their fingers, separating it into different sections and beginning to French braid his hair. He didn't even know they knew how to braid hair.

"Never done this before," they mumble. "Uh, on someone else."

Despite that, the final product turns out to be a pretty decently well made French braid, at least from what Gordon can tell. They lean back to get a better look at him as he observes the braid, running his fingers over it. The realization hits him then, that they must be copying what he did for them the last time they bathed together. His own little act of service, lovingly repaid.

Cupping his face in their hands, Benrey kisses his brow before finding his lips proper. "All gussied up now, ready for our date," Benrey says with a slight lilt.

"Thank you," Gordon says, his voice soft as he strokes over the braid. Then, he cups his face and flutters his eyelashes. "I'm so pretty right now, you're gonna have to keep an eye on me. Probably going to get scouted by a modeling agency or some shit. Put on the front of Hairy Men Under Thirty magazine." He pauses, a short laugh escaping him. "Actually, now that I'm saying it out loud that probably exists somewhere."

"Yeah I had thirty copies," Benrey says. They lean in for another kiss before sitting up, carefully getting to their feet and helping Gordon up too, their hands wrapped around his forearms. "Only person, uh, photographing you sexily gun' be me. Just gotta get the camera first."

"Well, in that case, we gotta get you a camera," Gordon jokes. Though the truth is that he'd rather fight a thousand headcrab zombies than have anyone take risque photos of him, even Benrey. The camera doesn't lie, and he does not need his every flaw archived in print. The thought of it makes his stomach turn.

Though… they did bring up having a camera kink. If he were behind the camera instead, aiming it at them as they sucked him off or something… now that's an idea.

He's pulled out of that thought by Benrey's lips pressing a kiss to his own, pulling back to look at his left cheekbone, feigning eye contact. "Wash my hair please?" they ask, handing him some shampoo and conditioner. It's with a great sense of satisfaction that he notices the strawberries printed on the front of the pink bottles.

"Yeah, no problem," he says with a smile.

Since their hair is already wet, he can start massaging the sweet smelling shampoo into their hair right away. He keeps them standing chest to chest this time around, enamored by the soft look on their face. It's probably a good thirty minutes before he rinses out the last of the conditioner and kisses Benrey on the nose. A quick braid later and they're done.

"There, now we're both pretty for our date," he teases. Benrey truly is pretty like this, face flushed from the heat of the water, now more visible without all their hair obscuring it. Gordon could stand here looking at them forever, but the rumbling in his stomach urges him to get a move on. "Ready for breakfast?"

Benrey responds by stepping back to climb out of the tub, letting Gordon switch off the water and follow after them. Together, they work on getting dried off, though it mostly consists of Benrey using a towel to squeeze Gordon's hair dry while he handles the rest of his body. Despite that, when they head out, Benrey's mysteriously dry.

Stepping out of the warm bathroom has Gordon shivering at the change in temperature. While Gordon gets on a t-shirt, black jeans, and a hoodie for good measure, Benrey decks themself out in a bit more detail. Gordon sits on the edge of the bed to watch them complete their little emo transformation ritual.

In the end, they've got on some plaid pants covered in zippers, a black sweater tucked into their double row belt, and two chokers, one spiked while the others got a heart loop in the middle. There's also a necklace with a bird skull and a beaded bracelet, each bead a shiny black human skull. They keep toying with it as they put what they were wearing before in their coffin-shaped backpack, along with all their favorite products from the bathroom. That's when they announce that they're done "pupating" and reach out towards him.

But instead of taking their hand, he gets up to lift them up in his arms, where they react with a start, throwing their arms around his neck. They weigh far less than he'd expect from a person their size, more of a cat or a weighted blanket than a jacked adult, although he's noticed that before when they sit in his lap or lie on his chest. It's not always the case, though, so he suspects some alien fuckery might be involved. 

"My turn to carry you now, princess," Gordon tells them. "I can't let you have all the fun around here."

Though he barely makes it one step before Benrey loudly inhales his scent, giving him a ticklish feeling when they make that noise so close to his ear. "Nice," they say, in such a perverted tone that he threatens to drop them if they don't knock it off. Though the fact he can hardly stop laughing long enough to get the words out doesn't help legitimize his claim.

"What should we make?" Benrey asks as the two head for the stairs. The house is still dark, making Gordon's plan to carry them a not very well thought out one. But Benrey seems to know exactly where they're going, giving little directions to help him navigate his way to the kitchen. "Platter of… bacon, egg, toast, uh… pancakes, entire bowl of cereal, orange juice, glass of milk—"

"What—What are you talking about?" Gordon laughs, setting Benrey down once he feels the cold of the kitchen tiles beneath his feet. After some fumbling, the lights flick on, though it's Benrey that managed to find the switch.

"Balanced breakfast," they say.

"That's way too much food, you'll give me heartburn," Gordon gently chides, snickering as he takes in the affronted look on Benrey's face.

"What?" they ask, so genuine that Gordon's having trouble keeping his composure. "But that's the thing? Every—Your coal restaurant… that's what the bee says?"

"You're not making any sense, babe," Gordon laughs, guiding them towards the counters where the two of them can look through their remaining food stash together. A lot of things are missing, courtesy of Benny packing things up, he supposes. "We have bread, eggs, sausage, and some bacon. We can have that with some fresh veggies on the side, we need to eat those before they go bad anyway."

While the two of them get started, aprons and all, Gordon guides Benrey through the creation of a basic breakfast, including a little trick he picked up at MIT: fry the bacon first, before putting the bread in the pan to soak up the bacon fat. Not the healthiest, but it's pretty fucking delicious. And that's what's most important right now, to let Benrey eat tasty things.

The experience reminds Gordon of having a pet watch you cook. There's something about the hungry look in Benrey's eyes as they watch the bacon and sausage fry that makes a shiver go up Gordon's spine. That same look has been aimed his way before, hasn't it? A stare like he's a piece of meat they're just waiting to devour.

"No touching until it's done," he scolds, seeing the twitch in their hands and sensing their intent. They stick out their teal-colored tongue at him, but obediently keep their hands to themself.

Finally, after the bacon is perfectly crispy, the eggs fried, sausages cooked to perfection, and toast a nice golden brown, everything gets plated and served up with two steaming mugs of tea. The hungry look in Benrey's eyes as they stare down the meal borders on comedic, eyes big and dilated like a cat watching a mouse.

"Voilà," Gordon says. "A breakfast fit for a king."

Benrey gives a polite little clap, applauding the meal that's got them humming teal bubbles like crazy. "Yooo, this looks epic," they praise. Leaning forward, they inhale deeply, taking a huge whiff of the food and humming more teal, which Gordon has started to suspect is them salivating over the meal. He faintly remembers Tommy saying something about this once—teal means "needs meal". Something like that. "It's like a party for my nose."

"Well, sit down and get the taste party started, bud," Gordon encourages. The words have barely left his mouth before Benrey's scrambled into a chair to start digging in. Their enthusiasm draws a fond chuckle out of him before he sits down to do the same.

Watching Benrey ravenously devour their food is a little like watching a starved animal go to town on the first meal they've had in awhile. In a way, the comparison doesn't feel too far off. Benrey might not need to eat, but they're obviously starved for stimuli. Cooking, exploring different flavors, it's something new to them and something they've clearly thought about a lot. How long have they watched people eat in movies and games while wondering what it would be like in real life?

Benrey completely cleans their plate, pink and teal bubbles popping out of their mouth the instant it's no longer full. "That was soooooooo good," they moan. "Look out Ramsey. Newer, betterer Gordon in town, and he cooks for ME."

Turning their head, they press a kiss to his shoulder, as he hums in response to their praise. The food really did turn out well, the grease from the meats contrasting nicely to the fresh acidity of the vegetables. While eating he sips his tea, glancing out the window where he can see the sky starting to brighten. Once they're both finished eating, he quickly locates a blanket neatly folded up by the door—gray plaid, where has he seen this before?—before fetching his mug.

"Ready to go say hello to the sun?" he asks, receiving a burst of green sweet voice in response. Benrey grabs their own mug before eagerly following him out into the backyard.

- ♡ -

The cold air hits Benrey instantly, sending a shiver down their spine. Luckily Gordon brought along a blanket. Out here, the two of them sit down along the steps leading up to the back porch, where Gordon situates the blanket around them both. Benrey snuggles up under it, legs curled off to one side with their head on Gordon's shoulder. Under the blanket, their free hand searches for his, intertwining their fingers together as their mug of tea warms their other hand.

Staring up at the sky, Benrey's eyes rake over the final vestiges of night draped over the sky, stars twinkling out of view as light peeks up over the horizon. There are trees and rooftops in the way, but that adds to it, in their opinion. Reminds them of where they are, the domestic bliss they've been blanketed in the last few days. Makes them feel normal. Like someone who's grown up here all their life, with this type of scenery right at their fingertips such that it feels totally mundane and stale.

It might be weird to say they want that, that they want to get so used to these things that they take them for granted. Would be nice to take something for granted that isn't just… the fact they'll always come back when they die. Should have lived a life where they weren't even allowed to die.

Banishing those dour thoughts, Benrey empties their mind of anything but raw sensation and the natural beauty of nature. Gordon's body is warm against their side, chasing away the early morning chill. The sky overhead is slowly shifting, the deep blue-gray fading like a set of stage curtains raising up to reveal the soft pinks and oranges of the sunrise.

Though the night sky is incredible, so many stars swimming in a sea of deep blue, their favorite color… the sunrise is something really special. They find it hard to describe the way it makes them feel. Bittersweet, perhaps. Nostalgic, mourning for a better, simpler time when they laid in a bush of lilacs and waited for their best friend in the whole world to get up and join them.

Or, more recently, the warmth that bloomed in their chest as they watched the sunrise over Gordon's warm brown skin as he slumbered away at Black Mesa. They'd sit with their head in their hands and gaze upon him for hours, watching the night turn to day on every freckle on his face, every strand of hair bathed in the golden glow of the sun. And they'd imagine what it would look like if they slept in bed together, where they could watch him slumber peacefully with his curls let loose and the blankets pulled up over his shoulders as the sun rose from behind a nearby window. The pattern the wood paneling would create on his skin, dappled from the leaves of a tree outside, their hand held in his.

It felt real, it felt possible. Like his reappearance in their life would inevitably lead to that—or to this, right here, where Benrey diverts their gaze from the pastels of the sky to watch the sunlight drape over Gordon's face. When he eventually turns to look at them, a pink bubble sluggishly drifts out of their mouth.

"Hey," he says, voice low like he's just woken up. They hang off his every word, though he doesn't speak too many. "Follow me."

Benrey takes a long sip of their tea before allowing Gordon to lead them out into the yard. It's been a long time, too long, since Benrey's felt grass in general, but even longer since they've stepped barefoot onto it, feeling the morning dew wetting their skin. The blades of grass tickle their feet, softened by the dew so they're not too sharp and pointy. 

All of a sudden, they're bowled over by a surge feeling of freedom in their chest, tingling beneath their skin and spreading throughout their body. This is it, this is what they've been missing out on. The rising sun, soft grass under their feet, body warmed by freshly brewed tea. Gordon's hand in theirs, gazing at them with a bright, warm smile that could rival the sun itself. The world is their oyster. They can do anything.

They grasp onto both of his hands, tugging him closer as he lets out a startled yelp. "Dance with me," they blurt, the idea half-formed, but as they breathe life in it by speaking, it sounds better and better. They don't know how to dance with a partner, not a real, live, human one. But that's not going to deter them. Nothing will.

"Whuh—" is all Gordon manages to get out before Benrey pulls him along, clueless but enthusiastic nonetheless, swinging and spinning and gently twirling as they think ballroom dances go. A startled laugh escapes Gordon as he stumbles along to the chaotic symphony of birdsong guiding their dance. Neither of them are leading, their hands aren't even in the right place to make that distinction. It's more like two children swinging each other around as they stage a fancy ball. But Benrey doesn't care, they only care about burning off some of their restless energy, about laughing joyously and humming their own melody for their impromptu dance.

A raucous laugh escapes them as Gordon lifts them up high into the air, delighted by the sudden move as they feel the wind blow through their hair. The activity keeps them warm enough that they can hardly feel the cold, laughter further warming their flushed blue-violet cheeks.

Even better is when Gordon sets them back down to pull them flush against his body, his heat suffusing into them. He kisses them passionately, sending a giddy energy bursting like fireworks through their chest. They wrap their arms around his shoulders, swaying clumsily along to a pink and blue melody they harmonize on together, feeling so happy they could die right here.

However, the cold gets to be too much even with all of that. Benrey can feel their teeth start to chatter like some sort of cartoon skeleton, and though they'd love to keep up their knock-off, imitation waltz for hours, maybe even push him down into the grass and makeout with him right here, they have to stop. Thus, they draw him into one more kiss before leading him back to the porch. Here, they sit back down with the blanket wrapped around them both, feet hanging out over the edge so they can feel the dew on their feet. The sun has only a little bit of time left before it's completely breached the horizon, and Benrey intends to milk it for everything it's worth.

"This is so great," they say, speaking with total sincerity as opposed to their usual childlike excitement, which is the only way they really know how to sound while expressing such things normally. Now, though, they're so full of love and happiness that it leaks into their voice.

"Yeah, this is pretty great," Gordon agrees, leaning closer so their sides press flush against each other.

"Best date I've ever been on." Out of the two dates I've ever been on. Sipping some more of their tea, they ponder that fact, when something pops into their mind. "Hey, uh… can you, do something, for me?" they timidly ask. "Uh—it's like really dumb and embarrassing but you CAN'T laugh because I'm being a serious and vulnerable right now. Not a joke don't laugh."

The look he sends their way is one of befuddlement, before he gives them a reassuring squeeze, turning to face them more fully. "Of course," he says. "Whatever you want."

"Uh," Benrey stutters, regretting this already because of how worked up they're getting. It's so stupid and cringe but it's also making their body thrum with a nervous energy, their cheeks burning hot. Taking a deep breath and exhaling a deep blue, Benrey looks away, making their request of the porch, because this is impossible to ask Gordon directly.

"So—! Uhh hahahahahhhh… it's really stupid," they continue, stumbling over their words and laughing to ease the tension. There's a silly smile on their face though, imagining exactly what they want playing out for real. "I just… y'know, since this is a date and everything. Should, uh, end it properly. So. Uh. Could you, uh… like pruh, pretend, and… walk… me, to the front door… like you're taking me home and… kiss, me?"

They have to cover their face in their hands, using a third hand to continue holding their mug of tea. It's literally nothing, just walking and kissing and talking, a little roleplay, yet somehow it's the most humiliating thing they've ever said. Doubly so because the idea makes them so happy, unable to get the dumb smile off their face as they continue to chuckle anxiously to themself like a total moron.

It's not that they expect Gordon to say no or laugh in their face. They trust him too much to think he'd do that. It's more so that the request is so meaningful and exciting that they can't help but be enormously nervous asking for it. Of course, they're far past the awkward walking-someone-home stage, but it's because they've missed out on that experience that they long for it so much.

They're imagining it in their head so well. Gordon drops them off in some dumb, shitty pickup truck and hangs around way too long at the door working up the courage to kiss them. And Benrey just stares at him with a hopeful look in their eye waiting for him to do it. It's exactly what happens in the movies, movies Benrey usually doesn't even like, yet they've still used them as the basis for numerous fantasies, including this one.

As Gordon pulls them up to their feet, their imaginary heart leaps into their throat. Looking up at him, their breath stutters as they take in the wide smile brightening his face, excitement glistening in his eyes. "Let's do it," he says.

"Whuh—Really?"

Benrey scrambles to set down their tea before following him out through the gate around the side of the house. It's so hard not to giggle like a crazy person as they do, a goofy grin on their face that they're fighting to get rid of, but refuse to hum any calm-down melodies to do so. They want to feel it all. They have to feel it all.

As they pass by the van, Benrey quickly constructs a narrative in their head. Gordon took them out for an early morning picnic, driving them in his van down to the local park where they hand-fed each other little sandwiches and drank tea. They'd danced in the grass before making out on the picnic blanket, which they WON'T be telling their mother about or she'll freak out, because they're… uh… an age where that makes sense? (Seventeen?) Not to mention their brothers will never shut up about it.

Yes. They like this story.

As they walk along the paved path leading under the willow tree to the front steps, Benrey does their best to school their giddy expression into a flat, aloof look, but it just isn't working. Their lips are pressed tight and wobbling into the shape of a smile. At least that makes it easy to look shy and hopeful instead, befitting of their role. Their eyes dart down then back up, watching Gordon with their bottom lip caught between their teeth.

"Thank you, Benrey," he starts, looking all bashful and polite, the perfect man to bring home to their mother. "I—I had a really nice time with you today."

He's playing the part perfectly, making it so much easier to suspend their disbelief. Like how neither of them are wearing shoes, and how the day has literally just started. That doesn't matter.

Benrey's cheeks are burning and their chest is thrumming with a wild energy. It's as if this is really their first romantic interaction, about to be their first kiss, every bit as nerve wracking as it should be but never was for them. Benrey tilts their head slightly, staring longingly at Gordon's lips.

That's when he raises his hand up to rub the back of his neck, their stomach dropping when he turns and starts to walk away. They're left wondering what he's doing, when he turns right back around and surprises them with a kiss. They inhale sharply through their nose, whining against his lips as their eyes flutter shut. Both hands grip onto the front of his hoodie, leaning up on the tips of their toes. That's when something very important occurs to them—right, they've seen The Princess Diaries before. Every first kiss needs the leg bend, that's how you KNOW. It doesn't feel natural, but Benrey does it anyway, quirking their leg up off the ground as they kiss him.

Once they part, Benrey exhales a heavy sigh, gazing dizzily up at Gordon, struck by just how beautiful and wonderful he is. Without looking away, their hand reaches out behind them, blindly locating the door handle. Taking a step back, they lean back against the door, hand turning the knob.

"Uhhh… call me," they breathe, before opening the door and scurrying inside, borderline slamming the door closed thanks to their nerves. With a low whine, they sink to the floor next to the door, face in hands, BURNING from the inside out. That's when a huge, ridiculous smile forms on their face, half-formed giggles making their way out and leaving pink bubbles floating all around them. They really couldn't be happier right now. That went perfectly, even better than they imagined.

That's when they hear Gordon's laughter from outside the door. "H-Hey, you're not even going to invite me in for a cup of coffee?" he calls out.

They're so busy exploding with giddiness that they don't realize what they just did—or, rather, they weren't willing to acknowledge it until they're done having their little moment. Or until Gordon knocks on the door and complains, which is what happened.

Struggling to calm down without forcing their emotions down with the sweet voice, Benrey gets back to their feet, jittery as they fumble with the door knob. They open it just enough to poke their head through, seeing Gordon stood out on the front doorstep with an amused look on his face.

"Hey, uh—" Getting the words out without laughing is a bit of a challenge. Normally they're better at keeping a straight face than this, but right now, they can't help it. "Uh, my mom said that if you get me pregnant you have to put a ring on it."

A barked laugh escapes Gordon as he places a hand over his chest in mock upset. "You said you were on the pill!" he exclaims. "I'm too young to be tied down. I'm a free spirit, I have a leather jacket, and a van!" He makes a gesture towards Daisy who rests off on the driveway, ready to take off at a moment's notice. "Also my toes are freezing. Do you want me to lose my toes, Benrey? I thought you liked my feet."

Benrey leans against the doorway, staring dreamily up at him. "Oooo you're so bad," they purr, drawing circles in the doorframe with their claws. "You know," they smack their lips, "I GUESS you and your huge sexy feet can come in." They stare down at said huge sexy feet in the process, a grin curling on their lips. Nice. Stepping aside, they push the door open so Gordon can get through. "You can come in and tell me what these two red lines mean," they add, traipsing back through the house to reach the sliding doors in the back. Gordon chuckles as he follows after them.

Once they're there, they look up to see the sun has finished its climb over the horizon, and their internal clock indicates that it's halfway to eight in the morning. They gather up their tea, finishing it off in one gulp before drawing the blanket back over their shoulders, lightly shivering.

When Gordon draws near, they look back at him from over their shoulder, smiling warmly up at him. Their eyes flick back towards the sky overhead, though their head remains angled his way.

"Hey," they start. "Thanks for doing that. It, meant a lot… I mean, hahaha, uh, it was cool, I guess. Whatever." Nervous, they toy with a loose thread on the edge of the blanket. "Do you, uh. Have anything you wanna do? You know, before we start…" They trail off, not wanting to put it to words just yet.

As he moves to sit down beside them, they start to lean against him, only to stop just short as he turns to face them more fully. Placing a hand on their knee, he says,

"We need to talk about Benny."

Chapter Text

Benrey's stomach drops the instant they hear their skeletal doppelganger's name on Gordon's tongue. He's right, they do need to talk about this. Doesn't mean Benrey wants to. As their smile drops, they look up to the sky, deeply inhaling to take in the cool morning air. It helps them organize their thoughts, get what they want to say in order.

It's clear Gordon only wants to help, and they need help. Help understanding, help calming down, help from a scientist, loathe as they are to admit they need, or want, help from a scientist. Not that he hasn't been a scientist this whole time, but they haven't needed the side of him with a PhD until now. It'll be fine, Benrey tells themself. He's a good one, like Tommy, a very good one.

"So…" they start, pausing to reach out and grab Gordon's hand, tangling their fingers with his. "You know how humans are made of blood and flesh and other icky junk like that? I'm made of something else. Tommy calls it a 'fungus' but I call it 'ichor' because it's cool. It grows on my bones, the… the black… goop. You saw it. It's what I use to change shape. It regrows by itself, but it happens faster if I, uh, eat."

They pause, eyes darting fretfully from their joined hands to his face, watching as his expression changes with each thought he runs through, processing their words and presumably theorizing about it, or something. Whatever scientists do when they're not jamming their test subjects full of dangerous chemicals.

"Yeah, that makes sense," is all Gordon says.

Though they expected a bigger reaction, it at least seems like he's… focused, or something. Science mode? Well, his version of it, they suppose. If he was truly getting all science-y they'd be running for the hills right now. It's good, anyway, that he hasn't had a bigger reaction. They might get scared that he wants to dissect them, cut them open to see what comes out, dismember them to see how long it'll take—

They halt that train of thought right in its tracks. Not what this is about.

Setting aside their mug, they use both their hands to play with Gordon's, stroking over his skin to calm their nerves.

"So. Uh. When I…" they pause. Does he need to know that? Maybe not. "Uh, it's not supposed to… Tommy told me the skeletons are dead. They're what I leave behind. But they keep going for some reason, and I have this connection to them, like they're all on this leash, but, uh. This dog's… uh, it's runnin' away. And growing its own goop even though it's, I mean they, Benny's not alive. If humans don't have a heart, they body get all shriveled up and dead, right? Benny doesn't have anything but they're growing anyway and I don't know why other than, because, we've been feeding them, but… I… if it's all gone, I die."

Something very important strikes them just then, interrupting their neurotic rant. "When I," they start again, "Wh-When I die…" Yellow drifts out of their mouth, and they pull his hand closer to their chest, arms wrapping around his forearm, tucking their head against his shoulder. "Bro, they're gonna spider me…!"

"Whoa, hey, slow down," Gordon says as he pulls them against his chest, pulling his arms out of their grip to wrap around their body instead. "It's okay, you're not gonna die. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? Try explaining that last part for me again. What are you afraid is gonna happen?"

Benrey huddles close to Gordon, his embrace calming their racing thoughts until they start to see things more clearly. If Gordon's going to protect them, Benny won't be able to do jack shit. They wouldn't hurt Gordon. And as a puny skeleton with barely any of the ichor to work with, Benrey is far more powerful than them.

"I'm fine. Sorry," they say, considerably calmer than before. "Don't, uh, don't worry about all that. Just tryna figure it out, 'cuz it's all outta whack. Shouldn't have fed them after midnight, now they're growing skin and a mind of their own, nose growing, real boy. Been trying to figure out if I should kill them or nurture them and see what happens. S'just sad when they're like… real?" Benrey sighs again. "I hate making decisions, was put on this earth to kiss boys and smoke weed."

It's quiet for a while, a welcome respite from having to talk about stressful stuff. Here, they can stroke the soft cotton of Gordon's hoodie and run their fingers over his braid, soothing themself. 

"I think I get it now," Gordon eventually says. All of Benrey's troubled thoughts grind to a halt, sitting up just enough to get a good look at his face. Why does he look so… happy? That isn't the right word for it, but they don't know what to call it.

"What?" they press. Has he figured it out? Of course, Gordon can be kind of a dumbass sometimes but he had to have gotten that PhD somehow.

Gordon's lips part to speak, when suddenly, there's a noise in the background—with their sharper senses they hear it immediately, perking up and turning towards the source like a cat on the prowl. It's the clacking bones on a tile floor. Looking over Gordon's shoulder, they spot them easily. Benny. The instant Benrey lays eyes on the skeleton, they jump up, clipping through the sliding door to get inside.

"Benrey, wait—!" Gordon calls out.

Though he dashes after them, they make it to the dining table much faster than he ever could. Here, the skeleton is stood holding a hand, where a chunk of their rib is clutched between their fingers. Benrey's not terribly concerned with that, though—what's got their attention is the fact that Benny's clothes are covered in alien blood, and they're wailing a blood red melody. The mass that's been growing over their spine and chest has overtaken half their face, climbing inside their right eye socket and making the cyan glow inside stand out more.

Benrey finds themself frozen in place. Their mind overheats from all the thoughts whirring around inside their head, shutting down to cool off. In slow motion, they watch as Gordon rushes towards Benny, doing nothing to stop him. Their instincts, the ones that warn them of potential threats, simply aren't firing off.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Gordon tells Benny, gently taking ahold of their shoulders. "We're here. We're gonna fix this, don't worry. Can you try and tell us what happened?"

Benny shakes their head at him, holding the rib out towards Benrey, insistent. Benrey just looks at it, knowing what to do, how to fix it, every step that needs to be done, yet they don't do it.

Their lack of response has Benny turning to Gordon instead, humming teal at him before resuming their onslaught of red. When that doesn't produce results, they start pulling up their hoodie, pointing to their rib that's missing about two inches off the end. Incidentally, they also end up showing off the mass that's grown completely over their torso and pelvis, less of a series of tendrils now and more of a solid mass of dark, muddy goop clinging to their bones, save for the injured rib. Gordon looks between the two aliens with wide eyes, darting between the broken rib, the black mass pulsating around their bones, and so on.

When no one moves to do anything, Gordon takes the reigns. He presses a quick kiss to Benny's skull, the half not enveloped in the ichor, before taking hold of Benrey's shoulder. Sluggishly, their eyes latch onto his face, breaths quickening at the sight of Benny's body. It's grown so fast. They know why. They know where the blood came from. They know why Benny's missing a rib. They're hunting. They're out hunting and killing.

"Benrey, it's okay," Gordon is saying. "Benny isn't dangerous, but they're hurt, and they need our help right now. If you can fix them up, I'll try and explain as much as I can." Lifting his hand, he strokes their cheek, his gentle touch helping to ground them, breaths gradually slowing as they lean into his palm. "It's all going to be okay."

Heaving a slow sigh, Benrey closes their eyes, leaning against Gordon for awhile as they calm themself down. They don't know what's really happening here. It could be anything. Something amazing, maybe, and Gordon did say he figured it out, yet he's not freaking out about potential dangers. He's smart, they should trust his judgement.

Slowly, they pick their head up to look at Benny. It's impossible to relax with the sound of Benny's distress cry, so much like their Sims 2 babies, they need to find a way to make Benny shut up.

Stepping forward, Benrey closes their hands around Benny's, their wailing growing quieter. Benrey hums purple at them, helping them to relax as they tug the rib out of their grasp. The rest is simple. They guide Benny to sit on the dining table, giving a better viewpoint of their ribcage. Slotting the bone back into place, Benrey leans close, humming teal-green over it before swapping to cyan. The heal beam seeps into the bone, slowly fusing it back together, while the cyan forms a cocoon to prevent it from falling off.

With that done, they lean back, glancing over their work. As they do, Benny looks down at their patched up rib, before lowering their hoodie to cover it. There's still a dark red coming out of them, but much slower, quieter, subdued. Benrey doesn't know what to do about that, nothing appears to fully soothe them and Benrey doesn't know why.

Benrey turns to look at Gordon, who's watching Benny with a look of fascination in his eyes, though Benrey meets his eventual gaze with a dead stare. "Explain now," they say. "Please."

Gordon nods, gently coaxing the two aliens to sit down at the table as he slides the back door closed. Benrey hums a blue melody to themself while he's gone, easing themself back into a place of nothingness, ready to be furnished with informations that'll make them stop panicking. On his way back, Gordon presses a kiss to both their heads before taking the seat between them, where he holds both of their hands, one flesh, one skeletal.

"Okay, first of all," Gordon starts, "I might say something confusing, so if you don't understand, tell me and I'll try to explain." Benrey merely stares at him in response. On his other side, Benny does the same, their glowing cyan eye sockets boring into the side of his face. He glances to both of them before continuing.

"The interesting thing about physics is that you don't have to understand it for it to work," he explains. "Gravity, thermodynamics, the sun and moon, it doesn't matter that you don't get it, it's going to do its own thing regardless. Nature is the same, birds lay eggs, bees pollinate the flowers… Everything works because that's how things have evolved. It's the same with Benny." He pauses to send them a reassuring smile. "Everything that's happening is what's supposed to happen. It's just that none of you knew it, because Benny's still a baby, and Benrey, you were never given the opportunity to find out. You said it yourself, none of your skeletons ever lasted because Black Mesa killed them all."

Benrey feels numb as they listen to Gordon's explanation. Some parts take time for them to understand, and it's several minutes after he's done talking when they feel like they've properly processed everything, giving a slow nod for him to continue.

"My theory is that," Gordon says, "The skeletons are a defense mechanism for your species. When you get killed, that must mean there's a threat nearby, so your body clones itself to make sure you have enough strength to combat that threat. It starts out like a puppet, empty and mostly controlled by the source, which is you, Benrey. It's probably like that so that you can make sure they eat properly, that they grow quickly into something that can assist you against the threat.

"During that time, they break free from the hivemind, creating a consciousness of their own. Poor Benny here is the first of your skeletons that got past the puppet stage, but we haven't fed them nearly enough. You can't make mass out of nothing, after all, and considering how much mass you really have inside you, Benrey, they probably need a whole lot. And here we are, feeding them scones and pasta. No wonder they went out to hunt for themselves.

"Thing is, they're not fully formed yet, so they can't heal themself or turn off the pain like you can. So they got hurt, and now they're returning to the source, to you, for help, because that's what their instincts are telling them to do. You are sort of their parent, although maybe not in the sense that humans see it. I have no idea what they'll turn into, if it's going to be an exact clone of you or something new. But I'm curious to find out."

Again, it takes Benrey several minutes to fully process what they're hearing. And it makes them wish they had someone like Bubby or Coomer to talk to about this, someone who understands what it's like to be… multitudes. Gordon squeezes both their hands, casting a smile towards both of them.

"You're both finally able to be what you were supposed to be," he says. "That's a good thing, even if it's scary in the beginning. But we'll figure it out together, as a family, okay?"

That word cuts straight through to Benrey's core, making them feel like they've just been zapped by lightning. "Oh," they say, voice coming out reedy. Slowly, they turn towards Benny, who looks back at them with their head tilted slightly. Benrey's breath stutters as the skeleton hums a bunch of teal in their direction. A single, rose red bubble slips past Benrey's lips. "Oh… fam… fam… ly…"

Cyan bubbles out of their mouth, and they pull their hand out of Gordon's grasp before jumping up and stumbling into the kitchen. Here, they beeline to the freezer to get the bowl of ice cream. It's about half eaten with the two spoons still lodged inside, and they're about to put a dent in it.

Lifting one of the spoons, they turn their back to the freezer, sliding down to the floor and stuffing a decently sized chunk of the ice cream in their mouth. It's too cold, but after they've managed to swallow it down, the pink doesn't take long to activate. It pushes back some of their complicated feelings, smothering it in a big, warm hug. They sigh, pleased, before jamming more ice cream into their mouth.

At the table, Gordon stares after them, confused and concerned, while Benny between the two, idly humming red like a low-HP warning blip in a video game. Benrey tunes it out, gorging themself with ice cream like everyone does on TV and letting the pink flood their mind with things they love. Tommy, for instance. Fat seals. Hairless cats. Silent Hill 3. Warm drinks. Sleeping in a big comfy bed. Smash Brothers. Gordon's laugh. Gordon's hands. Gordon's embrace. Gordon.

"Fam'ly," they mutter to themself, stuffing more ice cream in their mouth as their eyes flood with tears. They hate crying, so, so much, but they're just so overwhelmed right now, it feels like they can't get it out.

There's so much to think about, and they hate thinking about things! Everything should be easy. They should be getting high and playing video games and not caring about anything at all. They want to go back to when their skeletons were just fun toys and not… babies? Jesus fucking christ, there's been hundreds, if not thousands of them throughout their life. And they're all just children? Individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, who could be anything—could have been anything, if any of them had lived. Had Benrey not been tricked into thinking it wouldn't matter if they let the skeletons die. If they sent new ones out to prank Gordon into shooting them dead. Fun. Funny.

Benrey chokes on the red sweet voice pushing out of them. The ice cream is just making it worse, filling them with love for countless potential children, brothers, friends that could have been there for them. And they're fucking up with the one they do have, threatening Benny with death and neglecting them. That they ever considered putting Benny down like a lame horse is tearing them apart.

As they sob, stuffing more ice cream past their trembling lips, Gordon finally appears in their periphery, kneeling down beside them. "Hey, Benrey," he gently greets. "Is it okay if I hug you?"

Just having his attention means so much, and they realize that this must be what Benny feels, or rather, isn't feeling, because Benrey's not paying any attention to them at all. They hold out their hand for him to hold. That's about all they can handle right now.

"S-Sorryyyy," Benrey wails. They squeeze Gordon's hand. "It's just so much. I don't want it—I don't want to, I don't wanna do it." They're not even sure what they're talking about. "I don't know. I'll be fine it's just a lot, take in. Take out. I want it taken out of me."

The sound of humming snaps Benrey's attention up, away from their misery and the bowl of ice cream. The melody, it's Gordon's imitation of the blue, sung against their hand as he holds it up to his lips. The pink and blue tune he blends in causes a surge of something almost nauseating in their gut. Fondness and affection. It's a lot to deal with. Eating more ice cream strengthens the feeling, and the longer they listen to Gordon's humming, the calmer they feel. The pink's intended effect starts to take precedence, as they stare longingly at Gordon, reminded of why they love him so much.

Their loud sniffle comes as a way to tell Gordon he can stop now. "Thank—Thank you. I'm okay. Thank you." They squeeze his hand, thumb rubbing over the back of his fingers. "I love you… you make everything easy to get and… you're so good and I'm so bad."

"Benrey, no…" Gordon starts, but Benrey barrels right on ahead.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't know they was a people. They told me, told Tommy too, was just dolls. Mice in the walls. S'why they kept… and I been thinking 'bout them like an object, but they people."

They reach for more ice cream, deeply disappointed to find it all gone. With a sigh, they continue, "Was gonna drive so you could sleep but I can't do it. Can I just… one lil' nap, please. Need to reboot, please thank you."

"Yeah, of course babe," Gordon says. "Go sleep, I'll take care of stuff out here."

They sniffle as he leans in to press a tender kiss to their brow. Setting the empty bowl aside, Benrey pushes to their feet, heading for the reading nook, where they step inside, closing the door behind them.

- ♡ -

As the door clicks shut, Gordon tips his head back with a sigh. That hadn't gone very well at all. Though his explanation was meant to calm them down, it's clearly only done the opposite. The reason he'd added that part about family is because, well… he knows what it's like to grow up with no one that supports you, no one who understands you. When his parents abandoned him for his preference, the thing that helped him the most was his aunt Daisy's support, and his sister. He'd still had a family. That's what he wants for Benrey, and Benny too, for that matter. To have someone stable to lean on when things get hard and confusing.

But things are never that easy with Benrey. And, well, he did just tell them how every skeleton that was senselessly killed had the potential of being something more… and called Benrey their parent on top of that. Fuck… might not have been the best move.

If only he'd been able to say more to them before they got up and left. Hearing them call themself bad again had struck a chord in him, making him want to protest their words, to make them understand that it isn't their fault. They don't know what's going on, they had no way of knowing what they should have done, and it's fine to be too overwhelmed to do anything right away.

But maybe what they need more is to step aside and calm down. It's healthy, knowing what they need to do so, and knowing how to ask for it. But they shouldn't have to do so with such poison in their brain.

What could he even say? This situation is unorthodox, to say the least. He certainly wasn't prepared to deal with the complex trauma of an alien who's just found out they have a cloning mechanism, one that creates new and unique people, all of whom have been brutally cut down. He can't even begin to wonder what they're thinking about right now, or what they need to hear.

With a sigh, he turns back to Benny, who's been quiet as they watch everything go down. He gets the feeling they held themself back until the situation with Benrey was over with. Maybe it's the explosion of red and teal that escapes them the instant he sets his sights on them. It's a sweet gesture, proof of the person they're growing into. It has fondness bloom in Gordon's chest, helping to push away the storm clouds. He gets up and sits down beside them again.

"Still hurts, huh?" he asks, gently wrapping his arms around their frame, giving them the hug he wished he could've given Benrey as carefully as he can. Benny tenses in Gordon's embrace, and while they don't relax, they do lean towards him, uncertainty burying their face in the crook of his neck and shoulder. "It's going to be okay, bud, we'll help you through this." 

Like this, Gordon can feel the bulk of Benny's body forming beneath the hoodie. It's dense, not exactly person shaped just yet, but it's getting there. He wonders how much more sustenance they'll need before it does. Probably far more than exists in this house. The best possible option would be for Benrey to take them hunting, kill a golem ape or something so they can eat their fill in one go. That's something he should talk to Benrey about after their nap, if Gordon can get them to stop running away. He sighs, letting go of Benny with one last pat to their head. 

"Let's see if we can find something for you to eat while we wait for Benrey to wake up."

A wheezy sound comes out of them as the mass in their chest briefly expands and contracts in a mockery of a breath. They sit patiently as he gets up to dig through the kitchen, watching him start pulling things. There's some leftover bacon, a few eggs, and the rest of the sausages. All of them are placed on the table in front of Benny.

"Since you've been out eating raw aliens, I'm assuming taste isn't that big of a deal and that you need proteins to grow. Let's start here and see what else we can dig up for you, okay?"

They stare down at the food, frequently looking up at Gordon, before he gives an encouraging nod. Hesitantly, Benny grabs one of the sausages, jaw moving to open their mouth. Inside is a simple imitation of a mouth, with gums and a tongue colored in the same blood red as the sweet voice they've been spilling since they got here. The tongue is long and forked just like Benrey's, and pokes out to lick the sausage link before wrapping around it and dragging it inside their mouth like a lizard.

The ensuing chewing is open-mouthed and loud, a kittenish purr vibrating out of them that rivals the wet smacking sounds in volume. Eventually they manage to get it all down, humming pink before quickly grabbing another. Gordon watches in horrified fascination as they eat with a feverish haste, frequently choking, but none of it deters them from continuing until everything has been devoured, including the egg shells. A few times, he has to try and stop them from eating the plastic packaging, too, but they make angry kitten noises at him until he relents, struggling not to laugh at the adorable noises they're making. Well, Benrey eats aluminum cans and shit, it's probably fine.

During this, the mass surrounding Benny's face pulsates, spreading between their teeth like the roots of a tree and growing over the top right half of their skull. Red bubbles come out of them while this is happening, but they don't stop eating for even a second. The sight worries him, but he quickly deduces that it's a growing pain that has them making that discordant noise. That makes sense. He remembers the horrible pains he had during his growth spurts as a teen. This must be a thousand times worse than that, though.

When they're done eating, they turn to Gordon and hum a cheerful green to blue. He responds with a wide smile. "I'm gonna look a little closer, if that's okay with you," he tells them, scooting forward to the edge of his seat. "Let me know if it hurts, and I'll stop."

As he reaches for their skull, their hand raises as if to stop him, only to lower after a moment's hesitation. Taking that as acceptance, Gordon gently cups their head in his hands. They sit still, allowing him his investigation. Most of their skull is covered in the black—in the fungus, Gordon corrects himself. It's smooth to the touch as he lets his fingertips glide over it. Benny has what might be called the beginning to a face, if a face had been stripped of everything making it a face. No nose, lips, or ears yet, only the blue glow in their eye sockets.

"Alright, things are happening, at least," Gordon says. "Bummer it has to hurt while it's growing. I dunno if you can do this yet, but Benrey can turn off their pain. You want to try and see if you can do that as well? Might make the rest of the growing easier."

Truth to be told, he's immensely curious if Benny has any shapeshifting abilities yet. If they, for example, can fashion themselves some vocal chords. But he won't even begin to ask them about that unless he's sure it won't hurt them.

Benny lowers their head, bringing them to eye-level with Gordon's neck. There's movement beneath their hoodie, the mass reaching out towards their neck like a tentacle slapped against their throat, and Benny jolts, causing Gordon to flinch as well. The red sweet voice picks up, and they start to squirm. Skeletal hands twitch and squeeze the chair beneath them, shaking their head frantically before they start clawing at their throat. In response, the mass recedes back to where it was before. Their wailing song quiets down though it remains worse than it was before, a quiet sob of agony that has Gordon's heart hurting for them.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he assures them, scooting his chair closer so he can wrap an arm around their shoulder, gently urging them to lean against him. "Don't overdo it. I'm sure you'll be able to do it once you've eaten more."

His hand moves over their back in slow, soothing circles as he keeps an eye on the flow of red. It slows from Gordon's embrace, and slows even more as he speaks soothingly to them, so he keeps it up.

"Man, what a mess this is, huh? I'm sorry you have to go through all this, and I'm sorry you were left alone with it yesterday. We're here now though. Well, I'm here. Benrey will join us as soon as they've rested a bit, and then we'll find a way to make everything better."

Having run out of things to say, he tries humming instead. Not the blue calm-down hum nor the pink to blue aria of love, instead he goes for something new. The teal-green heal beam isn't one Gordon has heard that much, but Benrey sang it less than fifteen minutes ago so it doesn't take too long to find the pitch. He knows it won't actually work, but he hopes hearing it will soothe Benny even a little. As he sings, Benny melts into him, their hands kneading the back of his hoodie as they begin to purr, their red song changing to pink.

Pride swells in Gordon's chest as he sees Benny calm down. In the end, they're very much like Benrey, prone to strong emotion without knowing how to handle any of it, and in dire need of lots of affection. Kinda like himself, in that way. But helping Benrey and Benny is much easier than dealing with any of his own shit.

It's only now, as the room quiets down with Benny purring contentedly against him, that Gordon hears something odd. The noise is easy to ignore, like the tweeting of birds outside or the rush of wind through the trees. And he's gotten pretty used to ignoring strange noises, having lived in noisy college dorms and apartments with paper thin walls. But this noise is repetitive, yet unpredictable, sounding almost like an alarm of some sort. It's as he makes that connection that he starts to tune it out again. A headcrab probably triggered a car alarm or something.

Glancing up at the clock, he notes that not much time has passed since Benrey left. He'll let them rest awhile longer. Sometimes sleep is the best medicine for a broken heart. Because that's what this is, sort of. Benrey's mourning the loss of what Black Mesa took from them, every life that never got to grow, and being pretty hard on themself in the process. That's something they'll have to talk about, but for now, Gordon turns his head to give Benny a kiss on their now totally black forehead, a substitute for the kiss he can't give Benrey.

"You feeling a bit better now, bud?" he gently asks them. "We can stay like this a little longer, then I need to go talk to Benrey. Promise me that you won't go running off again on your own."

Benny obviously needs to feed more, and there seems to be an instinct driving them to do so. They're lucky it was only a rib this time, had they come upon a bigger threat they might not have survived the encounter.

Benny nods once in response to his question, before getting to their feet. However, they stand too suddenly, much like a Skyrim NPC snapping from one animation to the next, and it makes them sway on their feet. Hastily, they catch themself on Gordon's shoulders, bones digging in uncomfortably. A few yellow bubbles escape them before they pull away, walking into the kitchen.

Once there, they begin digging through the shelves and pantries, gathering up items without a word. Gordon follows them with his eyes as they do so, stacking smaller pans into larger pans before adding in enough silverware for three people thrice over, plus things like spatulas and measuring cups. Now that they're finally leaving this place behind, Gordon supposes there's no reason to leave anything behind—except items that can't be used on the road, like the stand mixer. Unfortunate.

At least they've stopped wailing red, going back back to their old productive self. It's sweet really, this helpful streak of theirs. They're very tidy, working with a focus that Gordon could only dream of having as they gather up the items in the kitchen before tackling the back porch, neatly folding the blanket before bringing them, and the mugs, inside. Once that's done they head upstairs, leaving Gordon to his own devices.

Now that he's alone with his thoughts, he realizes, there's something that's bugging him about this whole situation. Before, when Benny was just "the skeleton", Benrey said Benny loved Gordon just like they did. With how Benny reacts to his affection, he can't help but feel that's still true.

Which is gonna make things immensely complicated when they've finished becoming a real person, because while Gordon might have joked about it while Benny was little more than a puppet, he can't extend the same love and affection for Benny as he does for Benrey if they are indeed different people. It was easy when Benny was merely an extension of Benrey, because then it was like loving one of their tentacles. But that's not the case anymore. Now Benny is something all their own, someone who's inherited Benrey's love for him.

At the same time, the thought of excluding them, of Benny having to sit by the sidelines, yearning as Gordon dotes on Benrey… it breaks Gordon's heart. With a groan, he lays his head down on the table. It's just his luck, that when things are finally getting easier between him and Benrey, something else shows up to complicate everything.

When he finally raises his head up from the table, he finds that it's been roughly an hour since Benrey left. Pushing up to his feet, Gordon approaches the door to the reading nook, giving it a quiet knock. "Benrey, you awake?" he calls out.

Stepping inside, he finds Benrey curled up on the sectional facing the back cushions. Though as he enters, they raise up on their arms to look back at him, looking comedically fucked up from their nap, eyes squinted, wrinkles creasing their face, and bright blue drool crusted to the side of their lip. It's tough not to laugh at the sight of them, his spirits lifting already.

"Whoa, the man of my dreams is here," Benrey mumbles in a dull monotone, a fond smile crossing Gordon's lips. The fact they're flirting means they feelat least a little better. They rub at their eyes as he closes the door and goes to sit down beside them, Benrey's body stretching out like a cat in the process.

"Benny's feeling better," he informs them as they lay their head on his lap, tucking their hands under his thighs. "They're packing up some stuff around the house. How are you feeling?"

"Dope," Benrey says. "Feel… okay I guess." Blinking slowly, they turn to look up at him. "Kiss please?"

A kiss sounds like just what Gordon needs right now to quell the anxiety and worry churning in his chest. Bending down, he captures their lips upside down. They'll have to live with getting his beard in their face. At least it's clean. He lets the kiss linger, tilting Benrey's head up so he can suck their lower lip between his own. They taste nice, sweet with a hint of strawberry. It helps calm him down, unwinding a knot in his chest he didn't even know was there. 

"Love you," he says, gazing lovingly down at their face. Their eyes are rimmed with blue from crying, and he can still see the dried streaks from where it's run down their face.

"Love you too. Nerd," Benrey playfully responds, leaning into Gordon's hand as he brushes his thumb over their cheek, trying to come up with the best way to approach what they need to talk about.

"There's—Can we talk, about what happened earlier?"

Their smile wobbles, but doesn't fade. "S'nothing to worry about," Benrey says, turning towards Gordon's hand. "Just take Benny hunting, load 'em chock fulla nutrience and see what happens. Set them free or let them stay with us, whatever's good. Just hope I don't start empty nesting, might start begging for a baby or something."

Their response surprises Gordon. He'd expected some more resistance, to have to practically beg them to talk about it. They even take Benny's feelings into consideration, something that Gordon hadn't even thought of. He'd just sort of assumed that Benny would stay with them. But of course, that might not be the case, especially if the romantic aspect becomes… a problem. Maybe they'll want to go out into the world and find their own Gordon, find love that's purely their own and not inherited from their source. It's a bittersweet thought.

"That's great to hear, bud," Gordon says. "Very mature and responsible. I'm proud of you."

"Whuh?" Benrey blurts, looking up at him in surprise. Their lashes flutter as they blink up at him, stunned. "Uhh… yeah."

He strokes his hand over the side of their head, tucking stray strands of hair behind their ear. It's cute seeing just how thrown off they are by his praise, like they don't quite know what to do with it. That makes it a little easier to say what he has to say next.

"It's not your fault, you know," he tells them. "What happened to the other skeletons. You—There was no way for you to know, and Black Mesa sure didn't fucking help. What they did to you was beyond fucked up, and honestly, I'm glad we blew that place to fucking smithereens. And I know Tommy would agree with me if he was here."

If possible, Benrey looks even more confused, the traces of their smile left on their face completely vanishing as they blink up at him. "I… yeah?" Benrey says. "You… I. Bro. I watched them get merked in front of me. You know whose fault that was? Not mine. Just because I liked to fuck around with them sometimes doesn't mean any of us deserved to get SHOT."

They pause for a second, right as the tone of their voice grows heated, bordering on aggressive. The sudden shift from where they were earlier to where they are now takes Gordon by surprise. Not for the first time, Gordon finds himself wondering what's been going on in their head.

It's good, though, anger is better than sadness and guilt. Being angry at Black Mesa is far easier than feeling guilty over the hand he played in both the killing of the skeletons, and the apocalypse. And there is guilt, lots of it. Which might make him a hypocrite, since he just told Benrey not to feel guilty, but still.

"Crater in the ground, boohoo, etc," Benrey snarks.

"Man, when did you get so mature? Do I even have to be here?" he jokes, squishing their cheeks together as they blow green bubbles at him. All that guilt he's carrying doesn't matter, things are better now. He has Benrey, and together they'll help Benny and travel the country.

Which reminds him, they need to get a move on if they want to get anywhere today. They've already wasted a whole day staying here. Though wasted is the wrong word for it. The time they've spent here together has been anything but wasted. Gordon will keep his memory of the time he spent here in his heart for the rest of his life. 

"You ready to go on an adventure, bud?" he asks. "Lots of stuff to see out there." He tries to keep his tone light, battling down the fear threatening to tie his throat closed. Instincts tell him that the outside world is dangerous, to stay inside and hide in his burrow. But he won't do that. He has Benrey by his side. Nothing will hurt him as long as they're here with him.

"Yesssss," Benrey responds. "Can't wait to go camping again, go shopping, get Benny some clothes, find more good stuff to eat. It's gonna be fun, man. Just wait." As if to prove this, Benrey sits up, cupping Gordon's face to press a big, fat kiss to his lips, before tugging him out of the nook by the hand.

It's with a sense of hope that they leave the reading nook, with Benrey in high spirits and a plan hatched for how to take care of Benny from here on out.

That's when they come face to face with Benny, who's stood over by the dining table again. The sight of the half-skeleton has Benrey freezing in place, watching them gather up pillows inside of blankets and tying the bundles up with ropes they've found… somewhere. Sure, they look kind of fucky with the black ichor half formed all over their body, clothes a little lumpy and eyes shining a bright blue. But that's something that should disturb Gordon. Benrey should be used to this… right?

Benny stops moving as they notice the others standing nearby. Green to blue bubbles out of their mouth in greeting. Benrey doesn't respond, their eyes raking over Benny's form, the look on their face growing more haunted by the second. That's when a bead of red slips out of Benrey's mouth, before they quickly slap their hand over it.

Red, Gordon's really starting to hate that color. Nothing's ever good when red comes out of either of their mouths. When Benny hums a short stream of teal back at Benrey, Gordon's mind starts whirring in an attempt to piece their conversation together. Red is… bad, pain… not always physical, but emotional as well. The teal is… half of the heal beam, but it can also mean hunger. Is Benny asking after Benrey's health? The way Benny looks between the two of them, do they think he hurt them? But, no. That doesn't make any sense.

"Damn," Benrey chokes, snapping Gordon's attention back to them. "You look a bit shit. Don't worry though, got, one weird trick doctors hate me." Their joke is so painfully forced, even in Gordon's ears, that he can't help but cringe at it. Apparently there's still something about Benny that bothers them, frightens them, even. All that stuff they said in the reading nook, was that just to placate him? To get him off their back? Fuck, and it worked, too.

He knows full well that Benrey wants him to drop it, that if he pushes the issue, he might not like what happens next. But at the same time, if he lets it fester, it might come back to haunt them later.

Squeezing their hand, he turns to face them, placing his other hand on their shoulder. "Benrey, babe… you don't have to go through this alone," he tells them. "Can you—I can't help you if you don't talk to me. And not just what you think I want to hear. What are you so afraid of?"

For a while, all they do is blink at him, utterly blank. With so little to read in their expression, Gordon isn't sure what to think. Are they scared? Are they looking for a way out of this? Or is it him who doesn't understand the way Benrey truly feels?

"What?" Benrey finally responds. They look around as if seeing this place for the first time, before letting go of Gordon's hand and slipping past him to go pick up the bundle of bedding, power-walking out of the house with it. Benny looks between the door and Gordon, humming more teal sweet voice.

Well, that went down like a lead balloon. It's been awhile since they've pulled the "what" card, and he can't help feeling annoyed by it. Why are they being so difficult? He's only trying to help them! He loves Benrey, loves them so much and wants nothing more for them to be happy. Why can't they see that?

It's Benny that draws his attention away from his brooding, a skeletal hand on his shoulder that they quickly withdraw once he notices them standing so close. They tilt their head up to face him, a stream of purple sweet voice flowing out of their mouth. Purple… he doesn't know that one at all. But the melody it produces is like a lullaby, soothing Gordon's irritation until he's left with nothing but worry and anxiety. Though he wants to rush out and grab Benrey by the shoulders, begging them to open up to him, he's going to have to wait, it seems. Things like that, they never happen by being so forceful about it.

With a sigh, he reaches out to gently pat Benny's shoulder, the one that appears bulkier beneath their jacket. "Thanks, bud," he says. Even if he's not sure what they actually said to him, it still helped. A skeletal thumbs up is given before Benny wanders off, returning to their work.

Stepping through the house, Gordon takes in the empty spaces left behind by Benny's looting. They've taken a bunch of the movies, every blanket and pillow, including the ones that made up the pillow fort, which hurts more than he thought it would. Even if there'll be more blanket forts, he'll never return to that one in particular, where he spent so much time loving Benrey. They shared something special in there, something Gordon can't describe, something that changed things between them, bound them together somehow.

But that moment in time, it's all in the past now. Slipped right through his fingers like so many grains of sand. He allows himself a moment to mourn before moving on.

After getting his personal belongings together, he heads downstairs, finding his boots by the door and stepping into them. As he sits on the couch lacing them up, he can't stop looking around, remembering everything he's done here. The movies he watched with Benrey. The intense conversation they'd shared. The hypnosis, all the food they made in the kitchen nearby, the meals they ate at the dining table, the time they spent reading together in the nook. It only makes it harder to have to get up and leave this place behind.

But he does. Because he has to.

With his bag swung over one shoulder, Gordon makes his way to the car, nearly colliding with Benrey in the doorway. There's a moment where the two of them just stare at each other, Benrey's posture growing tense and pupils thinning. A lot passes through his mind, so many things he could say, but knows wouldn't be wise. So instead, he says, "Hey. You ready to hit the road?"

They blink at him, their pupils beginning to dilate. "Uh… yup," they respond, popping the P. "Just gotta… boots, bag. Help Benny carry, I guess." Looking awkwardly down at the ground between their feet, Benrey smacks their lips again. "So, uh." They step past him, and he watches as they beeline for the dining table where Benny's putting their satchel on over their shoulders. The two of them share a conversation purely through song, and Gordon can't even begin to guess what any of it means.

He's about to offer to help, but it feels redundant. Not to mention, he's already said his goodbyes to this place. It would feel weird to walk back in so soon.

So rather than do any of that, he heads for the van, climbing into the driver's seat where he rests his hands on the wheel. It feels like it's been an eternity since the last time he was here, driving off thinking Benrey had abandoned him. Things couldn't be more different now. And for that, he's eternally grateful. He just wishes things hadn't gotten so awkward between them here at the end.

It's not like they're fighting, but… they've pulled away from him, put some of the walls he'd torn down back up. It doesn't feel right to leave it like this, but what choice does he have? It's not like anything will ever feel like enough, leaving behind a paradise like this.

Before he can get too stuck in his own head about it, Benrey exits the house, looking like a deranged bag lady carrying so much stuff all at once. Yup, Benrey definitely isn't someone who will take two trips. The sight diffuses some of the tension in his body, allowing him to laugh as he watches them waddle over.

Glancing over his shoulder, he finds Benny in the trunk, reorganizing the bags Benrey's thrown in into some kind of order. That's something that separates the two: Benny's far more organized than Benrey, almost pedantically so. He wonders if that has anything to do with all the tasks Benrey gave them during their puppet stage. There had been a lot of tidying up. It would make sense, if you need soldiers you train them to fight, if you need a housekeeper you train them to clean. Maybe the skeletons are more like worker bees than soldiers.

He's so busy theorizing, he nearly misses it when Benrey climbs into the passenger seat. It's only when the door slams that he's pulled from his thoughts and back into reality.

"Oh. You, uh, you got everything?" he asks. "All packed and ready for ol' Daisy here to take us back on the road?" He pats the dashboard as he asks that.

"Yup," Benrey says, kicking back with their feet up on the dash. "Ready for—PRINCESS DAISY! Like your AUNT. OHHHHHHHHHHHH. Duh. I'm so smart, damn. Nobel peace prize please thank youuuuu." With a smug grin, Benrey shifts, swapping one ankle to lay over the other.

Their light bulb moment has Gordon laughing again. It's freeing, washing away some of the awkwardness and anxiety swarming in his chest. So much so, that he doesn't linger on how the words "Princess Daisy" pluck at a memory in the back of his head. There's no time to focus on such things when he's preoccupied with pulling the van out onto the street, following Benrey's directions to lead them to their next destination.

Chapter Text

Despite all the plans made to get going to their next destination, Gordon doesn't actually know where they're headed, other than towards the safehouse. Though he could ask, request that Benrey give him the location of the safehouse so he can just drive right there, he holds off on doing that. It feels like a display of trust, letting Benrey guide him. It would still be nice to know where they're going today, assuming they're not about to camp out in the van overnight. If there's going to be fighting there, he wants to be mentally prepared for it.

"So," Gordon starts, glancing over to where Benrey's staring out the window in the passenger's seat beside him. "Are we going to visit your friends? Is that within a day's trip for us, or…"

Now that he says that, he hopes it's not that. Meeting new people might actually require more mental preparation than fighting would. Not to mention all the complications that could arise. Do these people know Benrey's an alien? Are they cool with it? Probably not. He can't imagine Black Mesa would let Benrey traipse around online telling everyone their business. A situation like that could end in disaster if the truth got out.

At the same time, he can't possibly deny Benrey this. Meeting their friends in person is probably another thing they've fantasized about for years, thinking they'd never get to do it for real. How can Gordon refuse them such a thing?

"Gotta, uh," Benrey starts, in response to Gordon's query. "They're in Callie-rado. Upstate, near the border. Take a day or two if we're really fast."

Oh, good, they still have two whole days before Gordon has to confront his anxiety. Two days from the upstate border of Colorado places them somewhere in the middle of New Mexico if his sense of geography hasn't gone totally fucked. Which means they've made far less progress than he'd first thought. Which isn't so odd, really, the time they've spent driving compared to fighting, fucking and looting is relatively small.

"Can, uh," Benrey continues, "Drive while you're sleep but I'd rather… snuggly, you know? Gotta build our nest tonight."

"Yeah, no, I'd rather sleep with you at night," Gordon agrees. "Plus, you know. Road head is cool and all but there's some stuff I wanna try out that cannot be done in a moving vehicle."

"Whoa," they say, sitting up with one leg curled under the other and looking over at him with wide eyes. They lean slightly over the center console, bringing them closer to Gordon. "You tryna get me to blow you while you're driving? Cuz, damn, I will. Not gonna crash the car are you. I like Daisy, she's got all my stuff in her."

Gordon laughs at their eagerness, he's almost about to accept, his cock twitching with interest when he sees that look in their eyes. Despite how exciting it sounds, he does not trust his mind not to go all fuzzy and stupid with Benrey choking on his cock. There's also the fact that Benny's right there in the trunk, where they could see and hear everything that happens up front. Including this incredibly lurid conversation they're having.

"You're fucking insatiable, you know that?" Gordon says. "Unfortunately, I really like this car and I will crash into a tree from how good your mouth feels. Let's save that stuff for when we've stopped, alright?"

"Fiiiiiiine," Benrey groans, loudly, like it's the biggest inconvenience in the world. They flop back against their seat, placing their boots back up on the dash. "Show you how good my mouth feels," they mumble, like it's a threat, or something. 

Once that conversation tapers off, they drive in silence, Gordon's mind drifting as it so often does in these situations. Briefly, he thinks about his childhood, back to happier days with aunt Daisy, then forward to his first year as Joshua's parent. That trip down memory lane brings a smile to his face. Joshua had been a bit of a nightmare, screaming his head off and barely letting them have any sleep. Which is why when he and Alex actually managed to get him tucked in and snoozing they both fell asleep as well, sprawled out in a tangled mess on the living room couch. But everything fell apart soon after that, so Gordon lets his thoughts continue drifting.

He wishes they had some music to play, but the radio produces nothing but static, just like the last time he fiddled with the dial. Not even an emergency broadcast message. With a sigh, he flips off the radio again, looking to Benrey, who sits staring out the window. 

"Hey," he says. "Do you wanna maybe… sing something? Feels weird driving without music, and I didn't exactly bring any CDs."

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, turning to look up at him with a dazed and distant expression. They blink slowly at him, one eye at a time for some reason, before turning to look out the front window. "Uh… sing what?"

"Whatever you want," Gordon says, growing hopeful that he might actually get to hear them sing again.

"Mmmh… okay," Benrey says. Moments pass, before their lips part on a sweet voice melody. The bubbles are an even gray, and Gordon feels himself growing disappointed in the rather boring single-note melody when he'd… well, he kinda expected them to sing lyrically. Not that he specified that in his original request. He supposes he can't force them…

That's when their sweet voice stops, Benrey's tongue darting out to wet their lips as they lean against the car door, gazing out the window at the passing scenery outside. Then they begin singing.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you," they sing, matching the somber tone and volume of the original song. "'Cuz I know that you feel me somehow… You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't wanna go home right now…"

Recognition hits Gordon immediately, the words striking him like lightning. Benrey's taste in music is becoming more apparent, going from a Breaking Benjamin song back at the house to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls right now. Though he loves a good bit of 00s emo, this song holds a special place in his heart. Memories come drifting back, of him lying in his childhood bedroom, this song playing on his headphones as he cried his eyes out.

"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cuz I don't think that they'd understand…"

Words that resonates far too close for a little closeted teen in a conservative town. Even when he was out and proud in college it was the song that he fell back on when needing a good cry. Though Benrey's voice doesn't change the somber tone of the song, it still hits differently. Maybe it's because of how he feels towards them, but the words, "And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life," hit him the hardest. It perfectly encapsulates how all his time spent in Benrey's arms has felt, when everything falls away and it's just the two of them wrapped up in love and pleasure.

He has to breathe deeply to keep the tears from overflowing, suddenly overcome with the need to hold Benrey again. Fuck, he's got it bad, huh? Getting all sappy from a few lines in a song that isn't even about love. He listens as Benrey continues the song, trying his damndest to focus on the road and not gaze longingly at them the entire time.

- ♡ -

This song was one Benrey passed up when they first heard it. With so much music to learn, Benrey spent more time with the easier stuff, with the melodies that hit the hardest regardless of what the singer had to say. When they returned to Iris, they remembered exactly where they were. It was only a year ago, after all.

They'd joined the other guards, the usual suspects, for breakfast in the canteen and found they couldn't follow the conversation at play. Apparently a holiday was coming up, and they were all discussing where to go on vacation, places they'd already been, things their children had said, fights their relatives were putting up. Benrey couldn't participate. Only deflect and stay quiet. After returning to their dorm, they'd spent the night listening to music, when Iris had come on. Fully focused on the music, they really heard the lyrics for the first time, frowning as they realized how much they felt like they understood.

"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cuz I don't think that they'd understand…"

Their longing for companionship, their inability to connect, locked away in a pasty human shell, never allowed to let anyone see the real Benrey. The one with behaviors and traits humans find unsettling. The aim-and-fire-until-it's-dead kind of unsettling. Beaten down into a little box of obedience and conformity, yet never allowed to have a taste of what it truly means to live life normally.

"When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am…"

Ever since their encounter with the Golem Ape, Benrey's lived in fear of what Gordon thinks of them. Had they always been a monster in his eyes? Would they always be that way to him? Nothing but a big scary villain, a relationship where all they could do is hurt and break each other. They never wanted to be this way, they wanted to be a good person from the start. But no one would ever let them, everyone treated them like they were something to be locked away, feared, and executed without a trace. Why even bother?

"When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive…"

It's easier not to feel anything at all, they discovered that very early on. Let life pass them by without stopping to smell the roses, because there were no roses. An immortal being, yet they'd step into the line of fire just to see what would happen. Just for something different. Dying to feel closer to humanity, bleeding just to look like them, feeling pain to garner sympathy. Could they admit to anyone that they left their ability to die on all the time just to feel something? Yet it stopped scaring them so long ago. Now it's just a habit. A human thing they've adopted like all the others. A reprieve. A reminder.

"I just want you to know who I am," they sing, drawing their song to a close. The repetition of that line—is it true? Do they want to be known? Do they want to be seen? Or would they rather crawl away and hide, in their dorm, in their blanket fort with Gordon, in their nest inside the van's trunk… in their cell, where it was simple.

The sound of Gordon's voice draws them out of their thoughts. "That was beautiful, Benrey," he says. "You're really good at singing."

So many times they've heard that song and it had stopped affecting them a long time ago, now just something to fixate on, to calm themself, to feel less alone. Music is beautiful in that way, other people who feel the way you do even if they're talking about different lived experiences. A way to feel closer to humanity, like maybe they aren't so different.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Benrey runs their tongue between their lips, looking back out the window again. "Thank you," is all they say.

- ♡ -

The drive continues on in silence as the miles stretch on behind them. Now and again, there's a rattling from the trunk, or a short burst of sweet voice to remind him that Benny is still there. The roads continue to be empty, the little towns they pass by devoid of life as well. Gordon tries to not let it get to him, to avoid thinking about all the lives that've been lost. There aren't many aliens around, or there are, but they're driving by too fast to notice them. It's a blessing, anyway. Having to see too many threats on the horizon wouldn't be good for his anxiety.

It's nearing lunchtime, and Gordon's about to ask for a good place to stop so they can eat and stretch out their limbs. But he doesn't get a chance to, as he turns the van around a bend and immediately has to slam on the brake hard enough for the tires to screech. The sudden stop has Benrey falling forward against their seatbelt before jumping up, their eyes big and alert.

Up ahead, there's a pile up of cars. A truck lies sideways, blocking the entire road, while several other cars have crashed into it. There's no way around, and no other route to their destination from here.

"Damn," Benrey mutters.

Once he's gotten his heart out of his throat, he turns to look at Benrey, his hand reaching for the gun placed in the compartment on the driver's side door. "You see any hostiles?" he asks.

Without looking away from the crash site, Benrey phases a hand through the car window, grabbing onto the roof and pulling themselves out to sit on the side of the door, their body phased halfway through the window. As they do, Gordon checks to ensure his gun is loaded before scanning the wreckage himself. It's honestly a shock they haven't encountered something like this before. There's only been some easily avoidable abandoned cars and minor wreckage. It was only a matter of time until they ended up in this situation. He's just happy he hit the breaks in time.

Benrey climbs back inside, their hands remaining on the roof of the car. "Congratulations sir it's a puppy," they tell him, before turning to where Benny is hovering behind Gordon's seat, their hands on the back, staring at Benrey. The two aliens look at each other before Benrey shifts their attention back to Gordon. "They taste soooooooo good can we eat them pleaaaaaaaaase Gordon? And like I'll move the cars I guess."

"What do you mean it's a—Oh, you mean the peeper puppies? Yeah, go right ahead, I guess. You need any help?"

"Backup good," Benrey says after some minor consideration. "Don't want Benny getting blasted and skull fractured on the pavement or something." They scan the inside of the car for a moment before spotting the gun in Gordon's grasp, staring at it for a prolonged moment. Gordon isn't even paying attention, watching the world outside in search of danger. "Oh you found your glock. That's cool. Come on bone boy," Benrey calls to Benny.

They're both gone before Gordon has the opportunity to ask more questions. Of course, Benrey never stops to plan things, they don't have to with the power they wield. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the luxury to run headfirst into danger, so he has to map some things out in his head before exiting the car to climb up onto the truck where the others have teleported.

- ♡ -

Pulling themself back through the window, Benrey teleports onto the top of the overturned truck, where Benny appears next to them a moment later. Benrey doesn't pay them any mind, looking out on the stretch of road ahead of them. There's a cluster of the pups wandering, human corpses littered about, dragged out of the wreckage and munched on over a period of several days if Benrey were to take a wild guess. The sight does nothing for them, neither disturbed nor drawn in. Long pig isn't really to their taste.

Next to them, they hear Benny hum, teal escaping their mouth one after the other after the other. Benrey reaches over to cover their mouth. "Lesson one, bone boy. Be quiet." When they take their hand back, Benny sticks their teal-colored tongue out in defiance, but remains silent. "Let me show you what you could be."

Teleporting away while Benny sits down with their legs crossed, Benrey gets the drop on one of the pups, putting a long claw through its head, killing it instantly. The rest go on the defensive—Benrey swipes at them to throw the nearest off their charge before letting loose.

Their form wavers and flickers as their ichor covers their body, sticking them to the ground as they transform, disallowing the pup's blasts from budging them. When they're done they vaguely resemble a large cat, but with enough arms to rival a spider, covered in glowing eyes with several faces that split apart, conjoin, and shift to help them look around. Benrey charges at the pups still around with an electronic growl, their massive body creating loud, rumbling footfalls against the pavement.

Exhilarating is a good word to use for how Benrey feels right now. When they can let themself expand to an even greater representation of their true size, when they can let themself shift and flow and change on a whim, following no shred of logic. The prey in their grasp rip apart like ribbons, fueling their frenzy of bloodlust.

Their prey's blasts do barely anything to them in this form. At its most powerful, Benrey finds themself knocked onto a nearby car, crushing it completely beneath their girth, tearing back to their feet with an electronic roar mixed with white noise and an almost insectoid sound. The nearest pups silence themselves before they can finish charging, cowering in fear from the massive beast stalking them through the street. Their pudgy bodies lower as if to beg for mercy. Benrey responds by clamping down on them with rows and rows of teeth.

The battle is over quickly, and as Benrey raises one of their heads to sniff the air, they can detect nothing of value in the vicinity. As a matter of fact, everything is growing fainter and fainter—fleeing, the scent of life interlaced with pheromones, a distress signal. There's nothing left here.

- ♡ -

Once Gordon makes it to the truck, he finds Benny sitting down as Benrey teleports away. That's a relief—he's seen pups get the drop on Benrey before, making it far too dangerous for Benny in their current state.

The way up is trickier than Gordon had anticipated. It's not as easy to climb the smooth metallic surface of a car as he initially thought. The sight of a mangled corpse inside one of them nearly has him lose his grip and fall, but he manages to hold on.

He's almost at the top when he hears a crackling roar. The sound makes every hair on his body stand on end and the prey instinct in his head screams Run! Hide! But he ignores that instinct, because he recognises that roar. It's the same one Benrey had made during their fight with the Golem Ape, back when he'd been convinced he was about to die, that they were going to kill him. Which means, Benrey's taken on their monster form again. A strange sort of excitement washes over him as he scrambles up the last car and all but throws himself on top of the truck with an audible thunk.

Benny barely gives him a glance before redirecting their gaze back to the road ahead. Gordon doesn't blame them. What he sees out there is something a lot different from the giant and incomprehensible form Benrey had taken days prior. This one's smaller, sleeker, deadlier. Arms shoot out with a deadly precision, skewering any peeper puppy that dares come too close. Eyes and mouths form all over their body, sharp teeth visible as one snaps at their prey.

Even when the massacre turns gory, with Benrey ripping open the stomach of a peeper puppy, Gordon doesn't look away. Excitement flows through his body, making his fingers twitch towards the gun as goosebumps rise all over his skin. Never before has he experienced bloodlust, at least, not like this. There's something inside him that compels him to join, to fight by Benrey's side. It's only a thin thread of logic telling him that that would be insane, holding him back.

As soon as the fight ends, Gordon frantically searches for a way down, everything inside him urging him to run up to Benrey, to praise them, to touch them. But there's nowhere for him to climb that won't end up with him falling and breaking at least one bone.

- ♡ -

Gathering up the bodies of each pup into a pile, Benrey counts eighteen in total. Not a lot, not for them. But it's not for them. Like a mama bear providing for her cubs, Benrey gathers up each one and carries them over to the truck, leaving them in a pile below while keeping one held between their teeth. Their body shrinks and reshapes itself as they climb up the side of the sturdy vehicle to breach the surface in their standard, humanoid form. They swap from keeping their prey held between their teeth to holding it up in one hand, legs held together and dangling.

Merely a glance is spared Gordon's way, acknowledging his presence and registering the lack of harm that's come to him before moving on. Meanwhile, Benny stares up at the food in their grasp, practically vibrating with the urge to pounce, but remaining still, teal eagerly drifting out of their mouth such that the bubbles blend together into long streams of color.

Benrey shakes the alien from side to side, teasing Benny with it. "That's what a real—uh, whatever I am looks like. Idiot," they taunt, a little ruined by their lack of knowledge of their own species. "Tr—"

They can't even get the words out before Benny jumps up like some kind of snapping fish, sinking their teeth into the pepper puppy with a growl. "Damn," Benrey curses, dropping it instantly while Gordon lets out a startled laugh. Benny buries their claws into the thing, drawing it close to their body while taking huge, too-big-for-their-mouth bites out of it, growling loudly the entire time.

Benrey takes a step back, reaching blindly behind them until finding Gordon's hand and squeezing it. Their eyes are wide and their brows creased as they watch Benny eat messily and loudly, ripping and tearing the pup apart as they devour it in huge chunks. Benrey hopes they don't look like that when they're munching on headcrabs. With a click of their tongue, Benrey turns away, coming face-to-face with a much better sight. Brightly glowing yellow eyes rake slowly over Gordon's body, lingering in certain places, namely where his chest expands into the low collar of his shirt when he breathes.

"Damn, they must have been starving," Gordon mumbles, tearing his eyes away from the bloody display and towards Benrey. There's a smidge of blood on their cheek, and he lifts a hand to wipe it away. "That was fucking cool, what you did out there."

"Yeah," they say, having heard nothing of what he just said to them. Loosening their grip on his hand, their fingers slide up to his wrist, feeling the flutter of his pulse as if it thrums inside their own chest. The lingering adrenaline in their body surges as they pull him down to their height, sinking their teeth into his neck as he lets out a startled whine. The arousal Benrey hadn't realized was already there swells, body burning hot.

"Is it weird that I'm horny," Benrey breathes into his ear, one of their hands fumbling with his belt. It's around then that they realize they're hard, and have been for awhile. Oh, so they're that kind of person. Good to know. "Let me fuck you," they breathe into his skin. "Please?"

In response, Gordon's hands grasp at their hips, pulling himself flush against them where they can feel his erection straining at his jeans. Damn, so he's that kind of person. Really good to know.

"Take me back to the van," he breathes into their ear, rolling his hips against them.

Those words have desire tingling all the way up the back of their skull. "Ffffuck yess," they purr, picking him up so his legs wrap around their torso, several pairs of arms keeping him held against them as they jump off the side of the truck, landing elegantly on their feet. As they take long strides to the van, biting and sucking at Gordon's neck, he ruts against their waist with a moan. Meanwhile, a pair of Benrey's hands slip beneath the waistband of his jeans, belt undone, to grab fistfulls of his ass.

Tearing open the doors to the van, Benrey tosses Gordon onto the mattress, yanking their sweater off before they climb in after him, dragging the doors shut behind them. Crawling between his thighs, they grab his face in one hand, crashing their lips over his. The adrenaline thrums powerfully throughout their body, hips pushing into him, breaking the kiss to groan loudly against his lips.

"Mine," they growl, diving back in, invading his mouth with their long tongue. Their every nerve is alight, a raging inferno burning inside them, and they can't think of anything but laying claim to what's theirs.

- ♡ -

Somehow Gordon holds back from creaming his pants before they even make it to the van like some awkward teenager. Landing on the mattress with an oof, he leans up on his elbows, watching as Benrey climbs in after him like a predator on the prowl. The comparison becomes even more accurate as he takes in the feral glint in their eye, only a fragment less so than the look they'd had during their fight. A full body shiver runs over him, and he catches Benrey in his arms as they dive on top of him, meeting their kiss halfway.

The word Mine echoes throughout Gordon's body, something deep inside him responding. He's barely given the time to pant out, "Yours," before his mouth is invaded by their long, slick tongue.

Before he knows it, he's naked and on his stomach with his ass in the air, Benrey's hand coming down hard against his ass, the slap making him moan so loud the sound echoes throughout the inside of the van. He should be embarrassed about it, about being so loud when there's only a thin piece of metal separating them from the outside world. But Gordon couldn't care less.

His cock hangs hard and drooling between his legs, already on the edge despite the lack of stimulation. Fingers brush aside his braid, breaths fanning out over his neck before there's teeth sinking into the marks, perfectly aligned to open them back up. That's what ends up sending him over the edge, cock twitching as he cums untouched with a strangled cry. Benrey's breaths quicken in response, coming hard and fast.

Though his release does little to quell the desire burning him up from the inside out, because Benrey's slick fingers are twisting inside him, stretching him wide, preparing him for them. The teeth in his neck pin him in place, legs locked and prevented from even rocking back onto Benrey's fingers. All he can do is lie there, whimpering and clawing at the bedding.

As they pull their fingers out, he whines, a sound which turns into a throaty moan as they slap his ass again before gripping his hips hard enough to bruise his skin. He doesn't have to feel empty for long, as Benrey's cock glides into him like a key into a lock. The sound that rips from Gordon's throat is somewhere between a moan and a cry, guttural and nearly animalistic in nature. 

If it weren't for Benrey's arms wrapping around him and holding him in place, Benrey's first thrust would have sent him sprawling across the mattress. No amount of locking his legs into place would have been able to withstand the force they put into their hips as they snap forward and drive into him.

Their hands grope at his chest, waist, and thighs, squeezing, stroking, rubbing. All the stimulation fizzles out his brain, leaving him barely aware of what's going on apart from the pleasure they're giving him. Slender fingers push between his lips, and almost desperately he starts to suck on them, his tongue lapping at them as drool starts to drip down into his beard.

Right here, in this very moment, everything is as it should be. The conviction is so strong that nothing could convince him otherwise. Benrey is all around and inside him, barely an inch of his body left untouched. The knot swelling inside him and locking them together is only further confirmation of this.

They've got him bent over and claimed like a bitch, with their fingers shoved inside his mouth, pumping in time with the harsh thrusting of their hips. It fills the tiny space of the trunk with the sound of skin slapping against skin, along with Benrey's low growls and Gordon's moans. It's all so intense, and all it takes is a few more brutal slams of Benrey's hips before they're buried to the hilt and pumping him full of their hot cum. That, and the swell of their knot him has him tipping over the edge again, this time with the help of their hand milking him of every last drop.

Teeth pull out of his neck with a loud groan and a low "Fuuuuuck" from Benrey before they're collapsing on top of him, their cock remaining buried deep inside him. Their chest heaves against his back, face buried in his neck as they catch their breath. He does the same, resting his head on the pillow beneath him. This deep sense of belonging that he finds here in their arms has him floating along, his head swimming in it.

Benrey's many hands run all over him, stroking his hair, his back, his thighs, everywhere. It's all so relaxing that he falls deep into a trance, only exiting it when Benrey eventually pulls out, their knot having gone down at some point. Their arms dwindle down to just two, holding him around the neck while nuzzling into his ear with a smile on their face.

That this happened, that Benrey had been so overcome by lust that they just had to have him, makes Gordon want to purr with delight. This, too, feels correct, like eating when you're hungry or sleeping when you're tired. Benrey's low voice vibrating against his neck sends shivers up his spine.

"Love you," they say, pressing a kiss to his nape. "So good, love this, love touching you… love youuuu…"

Gordon lets himself bask in their love, their praise. It builds him up, makes something strong and unyielding grow inside him. "Love you, too," he says.

Despite how good this all feels, he can only stay here basking in the peace and intimacy for so long before his thoughts drift back to reality. In particular, the fact they just left Benny out on the truck, totally alone. How much time has even passed? Guilt sours the tranquility of Gordon's mind. He'd promised Benny they'd be there for them, and yet, one word from Benrey had him running off with them like a bitch in heat. 

Finally, he twists and turns in Benrey's grasp, so they're lying on his chest. Here, he presses a kiss to their forehead while gently combing through Benrey's hair. With a gentle, pink purr they lean into his hands.

"Hey, uh," Gordon starts. "Sorry to ruin the moment, but we need to go check on Benny."

The melting look on Benrey's face soon turns into a look of wide-eyed realization. "Oh. Oops," they say. Kissing Gordon's brow, they gently disentangle themself from his arms to track down their clothes. He shivers as they leave his embrace. It's not even cold, in fact, it's uncomfortably hot in here, but his instincts tell him it's wrong for the two of them to be separated. A little concerning, but he's not about to think deeply on that now.

"'M gonna go look," Benrey tells him as they get their sweater tucked back into their belt. Though he wants to follow after them, the instant he goes to get dressed, his hand touches something wet and sticky on the bed, and he's greeted to the sight of his own cum staining the bedsheets. With a grimace, he wipes his hand off on the sheets.

"You go ahead," he tells them. "I'm gonna change the sheets. Don't want Benny to see this."

Though Benrey looks around like they have no idea what he's referring to, they still shrug and head off on their own, accepting his excuse. With a sigh, Gordon gets to cleaning up.

- ♡ -

Once Benrey's boots have touched the pavement, they teleport over to the truck, just to find an empty tanker. The alien they expected to see isn't here anymore, leaving behind nothing but alien blood stains. Looking over the side of the tanker, they find Benny sitting on the pavement with their back to the truck, chewing on another of the peeper puppies. There's only three left from the big pile Benrey made, counting the one they're currently working away at. Benrey teleports down to meet them.

The first thing they notice is the amount of Benny's skeleton that's no longer visible. All those nutrients absorbed in such a short amount of time is sending their growth into overdrive it seems, the only part of their skeleton still visible being the left half of their skull, around their eye and where their ear should be. The other side has already grown not just a pointy ear, but lips, a nose, and a brightly glowing eyeball, dilated to be nothing but a dark void that somehow still casts a cyan light on their vantablack cheek.

Kneeling down in front of them, Benrey looks over them more closely. Even without proper flesh it's a little too much like looking into a mirror. There's patches of hair growing in, some of it reaching their shoulders. It's long, curly, and black, identical to Benrey's.

They take a deep breath. Suddenly, they're struck with the realization that they're going to have to get accustomed to Benny potentially looking like their exact copy, minus the differing eye color. Gordon had called them a clone, after all.

The longer they're there watching, the more a purr starts to emanate from deep within Benny's chest. It grows loud, this cooing, trilling, high-pitched purring that doesn't resemble Benrey's low, deep rumbling at all. Another difference they suppose, finding that to be comforting. They really don't want an exact replica, but… another alien like them, someone who understands what it's like. A companion, a friend, maybe not a brother in the it-would-be-weird-if-we-were-fucking-the-same-dude sense but a brother all the same. A homie. A bro. The thought pleases them.

Reaching out, Benrey starts stroking Benny's hair, what exists of it at least. The purring stutters before growing louder. Their munching isn't as frantic, instead they seem to be chewing on the same spot over and over. Benrey hums teal to blue at them, and they pull their teeth out of their prey in order to hum a blood red. Blue to purple is Benrey's response, which seems to calm them down enough to resume snacking on the peeper puppy as Benrey strokes their hair.

As they do, Benrey can feel the strands begin to push past their fingers to cascade down Benny's shoulder, visibly growing longer. The left side of their face still isn't growing in, but Benrey can see the way the rest of Benny's body is bulking out, filling out their clothes and forming a more human shape.

"Whoa, is that hair?"

Benrey registers Gordon's presence the instant he nears the other side of the truck, only glancing up when they hear his awestruck voice. He's fully dressed now, having exchanged his hoodie for the leather jacket he's so fond of. Benny's cyan eye flicks from their meal over to Gordon as if expecting a threat, purring on pause until hearing his voice. Finally they stop their chewing to actually tear a chunk of their meal off, eating with much more grace than before, keeping their mouth closed and licking their lips with the tip of a forked teal tongue after they've swallowed before diving in for more.

"Hi bud, look at you…" Gordon marvels, green eyes flicking over their face as he comes to kneel beside them, just as Benrey is. A heavily dilated cyan eye flicks between the two of them as Benny continues eating. "How are you feeling, both of you?"

As Benrey searches for an answer to his query, they find it next to impossible to stop staring at Benny. Benrey has always had trouble with faces, maybe because so many of the scientists they'd met throughout their life were literal clones, to the extent that they had trouble telling apart people who merely looked similar, even down to minor similarities. They just didn't look any closer and tended to forget who was who as a result. It's easier with Gordon, who has such a unique appearance in Benrey's opinion.

But looking at Benny, they can't tell the difference between themself and the alien in front of them, and that freaks them out. They know how Black Mesa treated clones and it wasn't favorable. They also know how the clones treated each other, which wasn't favorable either. They'd been getting phased out in recent years because they wouldn't stop… Benrey suppresses a shudder. It hadn't been off-putting to think about the way Dr. Coomer and Bubby reacted to their clones until now.

Benrey doesn't respond for a long time, instead watching Benny's hair continue to grow, noting the way their body shakes as the tendrils wrap around more of their body, encasing the rest of their fingers and climbing inside their left eye socket. The purring keeps going, though, and every time their mouth isn't occupied, grey sweet voice is coming out of it.

"They're okay," Benrey translates. In speaking, they gain the confidence to keep going, breaking that uncomfortable lapse in dialogue. "Gotta cover their body before they'll change color. Skin color." They're speaking from experience in this case.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Gordon says. "Can't put on the pie shell without the filling. But how are you doing?"

A jolt of panic jabs through Benrey's chest at his question. Of course they can't get away with avoiding talking about themself, they never can. Every query into their wellbeing laces fear through them worse than every time before. They know why they're avoiding it—because they'll probably cry or yell or generally break down like they did with the ice cream, and that SUCKS. They'd rather not feel at all.

They're struggling for a response that will get them out of this when they spot Gordon moving. Yellow eyes stick to his hand like glue, hanging off his every word. His finger draws along the shape of Benny's nose, their gaze flicking down to his hand before looking back up at him with their big blue eye.

"Look, it's pointier than yours, and the tip is different," he says. "And their lips are a little bigger, too. They've got more of a pronounced cupid's bow."

As they follow along with their eyes, they can see what he's talking about. Benny's nose is sharper, hair maybe an inch or so longer, and they actually have lips unlike Benrey's which are thin to the point of being nearly nonexistent. With these realizations, their pupils constrict to take in more—Benny's ears are bigger and point downwards, eye rounder with longer lashes. They look around with a childlike fascination, whereas Benrey generally always looks tired, or stoned depending on who you ask.

"You see?" Gordon continues. "Benny's their own person."

Their hand slows its descent through Benny's hair, pausing at the tips to curl some of it around their finger, rubbing the strands between their fingertips. It feels almost exactly like Tommy's hair, much silkier and shinier than Benrey's. Exhaling a short blue hum, Benrey goes back to petting Benny's head as they eat the remainder of their meal, ending with one of the legs, for some reason.

"Man you gotta eat the eyes last," Benrey says. "Best for last, what's wrong with you." With their big, blue eye, Benny stares right at them and shakes their head. Benrey huffs, immediately getting up to leave. "Yeah we are NOT the same. Goodbye."

A pair of slender hands shoot out to grab Benrey's wrist, a string of red to black sweet voice shooting out towards them. With a sigh, they sit back down.

"Save me the eyes, then," Benrey complains. "I killed it lemme have some." There's still two remaining, and Benny's eye flicks from them both to Benrey. Teal sweet voice escapes them before they lift another to start going to town on it. "UGH. Rude." Benrey looks to Gordon. "Can you believe this guy."

There's a smile on Gordon's face as he says, "Yeah, I can. Serves you right. Now you know how I feel trying to make you do things you don't wanna do. Wouldn't surprise me if your whole species is like that." He turns back to face Benny, reaching out to stroke their hair as their purring stutters and grows louder. "You know… I think you guys are a flock species. It makes sense if you think about it. Like, Benrey, you could have easily left when Black Mesa went tits up, but instead, you stuck with the Science Team. They're your pack, you stick together."

This strangely defensive feeling comes over Benrey. They want to tell him he's wrong, even though it makes sense. They fit themself in with the other guards as fast as possible, clinged to Tommy even faster than they came to trust him. They could teleport to the safehouse right now, could just fuck off and not deal with anything. But the thought of losing everyone is troubling. Even with all the trouble Benny's causing them, they still feel drawn to Benny, treating them to a feast when Benrey could easily snatch it away and eat it themself. They want to. But they don't.

But before they can even think to express this to Gordon, he keeps talking.

"Now we're a pack," he says, turning to give them a soft smile, color dusting across his cheeks. "And when we get to the safehouse, we'll all be one big, happy family."

Hearing those words has Benrey's breaths growing strained. They glance back at Benny, before redirecting their gaze to the pavement below as their eyes start to water, throat tight. Panicking, they glance franctically around, looking for a distraction, a way out of this conversation.

"Gay," they rudely blurt out. Getting to their feet, they grab one of the remaining peeper puppies and start walking off. "This one's mine," they mumble, not looking back at they return to the van, ignoring Benny's red to black call.

- ♡ -

The knot in Gordon's chest tightens as he watches Benrey leave. That had not gone the way he'd hope it would. He just wanted Benrey to understand that they don't have to go at this alone, that they have people to depend on when things get tough. Why can't they accept that? Why do they have to keep brushing him off?

With a sigh, he slumps down beside Benny, leaning back against the truck. "Man, I wish I knew what the fuck I'm supposed to say to them," he laments. "Would sweet voice help? Is there even a rhyme for you're not alone anymore, and we're here to help you? You got any tips, bud?"

There's a long period of silence, apart from the wet sound of Benny chewing, before they pull their teeth out of the dead alien and tip their head back, humming into the air. A multitude of colors come out of them—red, white, pink, green, purple, and blue. The song is a hopeful and slow opera of sorts. But also, far too long for Gordon to copy.

But once it's done, Benny turns to look up near Gordon's nose, and slowly shakes their head. Pointing at him while humming blue they shake their head again, covering their mouth, pausing for several seconds on each action. They point behind the truck, to where Benrey went. Cup their hands behind their ears, even though only one has formed so far. Then they form a circle with their arms, pursing their lips and making kissy noises before giving a thumbs up. Once done, they go back to eating.

Though charades were never Gordon's strong suit, he thinks he gets the gist of it. "So you're saying… I need to wait for them to calm down, then go hug and kiss them?" Gordon asks.

Benny makes a so-so motion with their hand. Trying to divine anything else from the pantomiming they'd just done feels impossible, so he decides to accept the good-enough verdict.

"Man, I can't wait for you to be able to speak English," Gordon comments. "I wonder if you'll have the same voice…? Probably not, huh? Even your sweet voice sounds different."

As he speaks, Benny finishes up eating their final peeper puppy, licking the remnants of it from their fingers. Gordon turns to look at them, noting the difference in growth in the last few minutes. They've developed a sidecut, the goop covering all but one side of their skull, where they've yet to grow a second eye or ear. Now with nothing left to accelerate their growth, Benny hums a stream of teal, leaning against Gordon's shoulder with their arms wrapped around their legs. If someone had asked him a few day ago how he'd feel if a creature made out of black goo was snuggling up to his side, he'd probably ask them if they're right in the head. But this isn't so bad, honestly.

"Yeah, I know you're still hungry," he says. "I'll make sure Benrey hunts more for you to eat when we've stopped for the night. You're looking good though, finally have most of your face done."

Cupping their cheek, presses his lips to their forehead. The black material covering their skull is smooth and cool against his lips, almost resembling human skin, if human skin felt like a big gob of semi-dried acryllic paint.

"Well, we better get going," he says with a sigh. "Gordon needs food, and we gotta check up on Benrey."

Grunting, he pushes up to his feet, reaching down to offer Benny a hand-up. They eagerly accept his help, and once they're back on their feet, they tip their head downwards to stare at said feet. Gordon does, too, seeing their newly formed toes, which they experimentally curl, lifting one up to stare at it closer. Each toe has a talon-like quality to it, not unlike their fingers. Once they're done, they place their foot back down, a sour look in their eye for whatever reason.

Regardless, they follow Gordon back to the van, not once letting go of his hand. He supposes he doesn't mind the contact. It helps him keep track of them better, since he'd guess they're still quite fragile, and he'd hate for them to run off and get hurt.

It's easy to locate Benrey. They're sat on top of the van, reclined with their legs bent, one crossed over the other, arms folded behind their head. They pretend not to notice as the others approach, gazing up at the sky instead. They're sulking. There's no other way to describe it. It has irritation and annoyance bubbling up in Gordon's chest, all of which he does his best to push back, to not snap at Benrey for acting so childish. He doesn't even get why they're acting this way. But what he does understand is that Benrey isn't going to talk about it, and it won't do anybody any good to force it out of them.

"Benrey!" Gordon shouts from down beside the van. "Are you ready to go?"

A pair of catlike eyes peer over the edge of the van at him, their claws resting along the side of the roof. Though they don't respond, after observing the two of them for a moment, Benrey hops down, landing elegantly on their feet. As they pass by, they pause in front of Gordon, staring at him until he exhales a chuckle and bends to kiss them. This appears to be exactly what they wanted judging by the way they perk up, their lips tasting of strawberry as they melt into the kiss. Though it's brief, Gordon finds some of his irritation washing away as a result.

Not all of it though. Which just has Gordon thinking: does he really wanna spend hours in a moving vehicle with everyone kinda tense around each other? Not really. What they need now is a distraction.

"Hey," he says. "You wanna do something really, really dumb?"

"Whuh… yeah," Benrey responds, their gaze curious as they stare up at him. "Always."

"Okay, so, how about this. I saw this movie when I was a kid, don't remember the name, but there were some kids who got locked in a mall overnight. I think they stopped a pair of thieves or something, sorta like Home Alone. Anyway, that was the coolest thing in the world to me as a kid, to be in a mall after closing time, just running around, sleeping in the ball pit at McDonalds or something."

As he speaks, his smile turns wistful, his enthusiasm reflected in Benrey's eyes, wide with interest. Back when he was a kid, he'd imagine staying overnight in the local mall, and every time he went with his parents, he'd look for the best hiding spots so no one would find him.

"Let's do that," he continues. "Let's find a mall, clear it out, get Benny some food, and then let's just go wild. Raid some stores, make a blanket fort in Bed Bath and Beyond. What do you say?"

"Whuh—Bro, we're Dead Risening?" Benrey asks, grasping onto the front of his shirt with so much excitement in their eyes, it has Gordon absolutely melting. "Bro! I wanna get the fancy soaps and more clothes and VIDEO GAMES and ride the es-ca-la-tor—" they say this as if they've never said it out loud before, "And the—Do you think they have an ice cream machine?"

"In the food court, maybe," he says. "Not so sure any of the ice cream is still good, though."

This doesn't appear to deter Benrey at all, wandering off as if they'd only heard the first part of that and not the second. Curious, he watches as they approach the huge truck blocking the road, the muscles in their arms and thighs flexing as they lift it up. He leans against Daisy as they work, watching with hooded eyes as their muscles bulge beneath their sweater.

"Damn." He gives a low whistle as Benrey tips the truck over towards the sidewalk, leaving room for Daisy to pass it. While they work on clearing out the rest, his eyes trail down to stare at their ass and the muscles in their legs. He doesn't even think about Benny standing off to the side, watching with their eye wide with amazement. Instead, his hand travels up to his neck, fingers tracing over the mark there. The dull pain sends him right back to when Benrey's mouth had been clamped down around his neck, his cock twitching at the memory.

When they're done, they disappear, and Gordon only finds them because they call out for him to come join them in the car, and "please pass the keys thank you". Looks like they're swapping. Makes sense. Benrey knows where they're going, after all. With a low chuckle, he hops back inside the van, tossing Benrey the keys as he makes himself comfortable. Glancing over his shoulder to where Benny clips inside the trunk, he gives them a soft smile. 

"Can you hand me a couple of cereal bars and a soda, Benny? Since none of you shared your snacks with me." He directs the last part at Benrey, giving them a playful shove that earns him a raspberry in response. While they get the car started, Benny beelines for wherever they've stashed the snacks, before politely handing the requested items to him. He offers them a smile in return, giving their newly grown hair a ruffle, avoiding the parts that have yet to grow in. "Thanks, bud."

As he turns back around to start eating, he catches Benrey watching him out of the corner of his eye, but quickly disregards it. Though the coke Benny gave him is a bit warm, he couldn't care less. The sugar and caffeine do wonders for his mood.

As Benny continues to sit and stare at him while he eats, he can't help but offer them up his hand to hold in a soft grip. They're obviously in need of companionship right now. Benrey watches him as he does this, their expression impassive, before facing forward once more.

After he's done eating, Gordon relaxes back into his seat, stretching his legs out and trying not to wince at the slight pain in his ass. It was totally worth it, and he doesn't regret a second of it.

He's about to doze off when he hears Benrey start singing again. It starts with a hum, their fingers tapping against the steering wheel. This garners Benny's attention, watching them curiously as their hum turns into something lyrical. It takes Gordon a moment to place the song. Their voice has a way of shifting the mood of a song to something more somber, though this one manages to keep its more exciting and upbeat tone. The lyrics have been edited, though, and it's with a smile that Gordon realizes he's being serenaded.

"Tonight, I want to give it all to youuuu," Benrey starts singing, as Benny's eyes widen, a few bubbles of pink sweet voice escaping their mouth. "In the darkness, there's so much I want to do—And tonight, I want to lay it at your feet, 'cuz boy, I was made for you, and boy, you were made for me…"

Two can play that game.

"I was made for lovin' you, baby," Gordon sings along. Golden eyes flick over towards him, surprised. "You were made for lovin' me. And I can't get enough of you, baby, can you get enough of me?" 

Luckily, dad rock fits Gordon's vocal range pretty well, and he manages to get through the chorus without dropping any notes. He gives Benrey a glance, waggling his eyebrows at them as they raise their brow at him. Soon enough, though, they're laughing under their breath, and when the chorus draws to a close, they wet their lips before picking back up.

"Tonight, I want to see it in your eyes… Feel the ma-agic, there's something that drives me wild… And tonight, we're gonna make it all come true, 'cuz boy you were made for meeee, and boy, I was made for you…"

When the chorus rolls around, they sing together, as Benny watches the two of them with wonder in their eyes. It brings back old memories for Gordon, of late night karaoke sessions and nearly forgotten road trips. It gets energetic, with Benrey drumming their hands on the steering wheel as Gordon does a little dance in his seat. Once the song ends, Benrey quickly leans across the center console, grabbing Gordon's shirt and dragging him into a fierce kiss. The instinctual warning for them to please watch the road flies out of his brain, discarded to the euphoria their kiss brings him.

Benrey pulls back with a wide smile, flopping into their seat and erupting into a loud cackle. The sound drags Gordon in with them, his laugh loud enough to echo throughout the van.

"You're incredible," Benrey says once they've managed to stop laughing and catch their breath. Their praise has his face heating up.

"My singing's not bad, but I wouldn't call it incredible," he says. "But feel free to continue complimenting me."

"Oh, well, if you insist," Benrey says, very matteroffactly. "Got a nice voice. Love listening to you laugh. Great hair, too, all fluffy and soft, suits you soooooo well. Got those cute little freckles too. Big soft lips perfect for kisssssssssssssssing. Big warm hands for holding, holding me, perfect for hold, in general, nice body for hugging. Love to lay on you, you're a big comfy. And you're nice to me, funny, love to fun with you, big good ol' times bein' had. Amazing cook. Do so much for me."

Every word out of their mouth both surprises and flusters Gordon. He'd expected them to tease him, maybe talk about his ass or something. But he's selling them short again. Not only do they give genuine compliments, but they bring up little details like his freckles, which most people don't notice due to how light they are. He barely remembers he has them most of the time. It makes him wonder just how much they're paying attention when he's spent so long assuming they're always off in their own world, never hearing a word he says.

"Also you have a nice cock," they add.

Aaaaand there it is. "Look who's talking," Gordon scoffs, doing his best to play off how deep the blush on his face has gotten from all their praise.

The mall fast approaches after that. There's a decent amount of zombies hanging out in the parking lot, though far less than Gordon would expect of a shopping mall. Though, this doesn't exactly seem like a major metropolitan area, so it makes sense. Benrey turns the van into a loading area behind the building, taking the corner far too fast and sudden, nearly giving Gordon a heart attack, his hand darting out to grab onto something. If not for their grip on him and his seat, Benny might've gone careening right into the door.

"Oop," Benrey says as they gradually slow the car to a stop, parking close to the building.

"Jesus, Benrey," Gordon hisses, placing his hand over his rapidly beating heart.

"Party inside," Benrey reports. "Put on a hat, maybe? S'uh, stinkin' up the place, tasty meal advertisement, McDonald's over here."

As they go on their nonsense ramble, Benny digs out a hat from Benrey's backpack to give to Gordon. It's a thick, black beanie, or so it appears at first. As he lays it out in his hands to go about stuffing it on over his head, he notices the design.

"Do you have one without cat ears on them?" he asks, flicking the two black and blue cat ears with his fingers. There's even an anime anger vein in blue on the right side of the thing.

"What?" Benrey blurts, turning away from where they'd been about to open their door and jump out. Their eyes scan over the article Gordon holds up towards them, their expression unchanging. "Bro, come on. We're a litter of little kitty boys, embrace it."

"Is this even enough? I can put on the HEV suit if it's easier." Of course, he'd rather not. The less time he has to spend stuck in that thing, the better.

"Noooo forget that thing man you're sooooooo hot with your, leather jacket. You got your gun right? And crowed bar too?" Benny digs the crowbar out, handing it to Gordon. "Got an AskJeeves in here," Benrey mutters before turning and hopping out of the car.

With a sigh, Gordon tugs on the hat and steps outside. What a sight he must be right now, like a biker who didn't get the message that anime Sunday was canceled at the motorcycle bar. Whatever, it's more comfortable, and Benrey did say they liked it. Plus, he's got two aliens to protect him this time. Though Benny isn't exactly at Benrey's power level, they're at least not as squishy as a human. Unless they are. Shit, he might have to protect them if that's the case.

Following after the others, he finds them gathered around the back door, an assault rifle hanging from a sling on Benny's shoulder and a shotgun held at the ready in Benrey's hands. Gordon double checks to ensure he's still got his pistol, locked and loaded, before stepping up to join them.

Chapter Text

With everyone gathered together outside the mall, Benrey spares Gordon a glance before phasing through the door to investigate the interior. As they do, they hear Gordon start talking to Benny.

"Hey, don't run off, okay? Stick close to me. And please don't eat the zombies, just the headcrabs."

Disregarding that and the weird irk of annoyance it gives them, Benrey steps forward. Looking around the dimly lit hallway, there appears to be no trouble in the vicinity, but the hallways might make it complicated until they can get to more open areas. Or maybe less, since it'll be easier to block something from reaching Gordon this way. But also more complicated if it ends up overflowing.

Undoing the lock, they open the door for Benny and Gordon to join them. The two of them seem alright. Though it's Gordon they're worried about, given how poorly he's reacted to combat since getting out of Black Mesa. Sometimes they forget he used to be a scientist, and not the torturing people kind.

Ushering them inside, Benrey shuts the door, leaving it unlocked, before leading them down the hallway. Rounding a corner, they find a few zombies hanging out on the other end of the corridor. Mostly slumped over on the ground, but Benrey can smell them—they're still alive.

"Alright," Gordon says, keeping his voice barely above a whisper. He's got his crowbar held at the ready, like he's going up to bat or something. "How do we do this?"

Benrey doesn't respond, instead striding forward, where the zombies glance up just to immediately lose interest. The one that isn't slumped over on the floor starts shuffling away in the opposite direction, which Benrey halts by blasting it in the back with the shotgun, causing it to trip, spilling its guts everywhere. The headcrab hops off afterwards, making its little staticky screech as it launches further down the hallway. Benrey ignores it.

The zombies on the ground don't even move as Benrey rips all the headcrabs off, skewering them with their claws to kill them in one simple motion. They pile all three under their arm. That's when Benny approaches them, loudly sniffling the air. The sound has Benrey jumping away from them, yellow bursting out of their mouth.

"NO," Benrey says, a low growl coming out of Benny's throat in response. "NOT raw we're civilized not born in barn. Cook first."

With a low whine, Benny gives up, staring hungrily down at the headcrabs with teal streaming out of their mouth before taking a few steps back. Benny casts a glance back at Gordon, who merely shrugs at them.

"Don't look at me, I'm not eating it," he says.

Green drifts out of Benrey's mouth, their posture relaxing as they turn back around to continue walking. Eventually they reach a door that Benrey's pretty sure is the one they want according to their inner map of the area. Reaching in through the door, they fumble around in search of a lock, with Benny standing off to their left as if to block the hallway, so nothing can get Gordon, who remains on Benrey's right. Finally, Benrey finds what they're looking for, undoing the lock and pulling their hand back out to open the door—

Just to come face-to-face with a headcrab zombie, dressed in a mall security uniform. While Gordon jumps back in terror, they barely react; it's zero threat to them, and hardly acknowledges them. As they're preparing to blast it, it suddenly charges to Benrey's left, and they react fast, grabbing it by the throat and slamming it back into the doorway, splintering the wood. They tear out the host's throat before plucking the headcrab free, snapping their jaw down around it and kicking the host aside.

Inside is a security camera room, still functional from the looks of it, aside from one or two cameras that have gone offline. The screens show most of the mall, where headcrabs are roaming around like wild animals, a few zombies lazing about here and there. The floors are mostly clean, not a lot of property damage, similar to the town they just left behind. Benrey would wonder why, if they actually cared.

The desk gets taken over by them pretty swiftly. Stuff like this is something they actually have training in and got to do once in a while, so they understand how everything works and how to divide their attention up between each camera. Though mostly, they used to spend their camera watching duties playing video games.

Which makes it pretty unsurprising that they quickly lose interest. Instead of continuing to survey the feeds, they try to see how far they can tip back their chair before it topples over. Benny, meanwhile, sticks very close to Gordon, who's studying the cameras with a look of focus. As he does, Benny casts frequent glances to the pile of headcrabs Benrey's discarded in the corner. Even the prospect of sneaking past Benrey to get to their next meal isn't enough to lure them away from Gordon.

"So what's the plan here, Benrey?" Gordon asks.

His question catches Benrey so off-guard that they actually do topple the chair over backwards, letting out a fake "Ow" as they do. They don't pick themself back up, sitting in the toppled over chair as if it were still upright.

"Whuh, why are you asking me? You're the guy," they make a sweeping gesture at him. "That's why I brought you here." Benrey certainly doesn't have much of a plan, besides run through the mall blasting shit. Which is probably a heart attack and a half for him, so they brought him here, where he could come up with a better plan. "Come on, you're like, smart or something."

- ♡ -

Oh. Gordon wasn't ready for that. He's gotten used to following Benrey's lead during these combat situations, since they remain way calmer than he does. But they're right, this is a bigger job that will need some sort of planning and that really is more in Gordon's wheel house. Or, it was, back when he was high on adrenaline and struggling to herd the Science Team to safety like a flock of unruly cats. But it's not like he planned anything then, either. It was all instinct.

Glancing over to Benny is no help. They're too busy salivating over the pile of headcrabs to contribute. Feeling the heat of an anxiety attack creep up his neck, he turns away from Benrey's blank stare to focus on the monitors.

"O-Okay," His voice wavers, forcing him to pause and take a deep breath before continuing. As he speaks, Benrey picks their chair back up, leaning on the desk as they watch him point out various points of interest on the cams. "Here's the plan. We start by getting rid of the headcrabs over by the food court. If all goes well, it'll draw the others out of hiding so we don't have to go looking for them. After that, we move over to…"

He pauses, his eyes scanning over a map of the mall pinned to the wall nearby before he points to a spot on the map.

"…To here, where the fountain is," he continues. "We take out as many zombies as we can on the way there and then kill the—Are those headcrabs taking a bath?!" He squints at the camera feed, where two headcrabs are splashing in the fountain. "Holy fuck, they are."

"Hahaha, they're havin' a splish splash," Benrey laughs.

"Yeah, okay, sure… not the weirdest thing I've seen recently," Gordon says with a shrug. "After we kill all of those… it should be mostly stragglers left. If we're lucky, they'll come to us, otherwise we'll have to go hunt them down."

"Sounds good," Benrey says, popping their lips. They double check their shotgun, loading in another bullet to replace the one they've already used. As they do, Gordon looks around the room, which is when he spots Benny inching closer to the pile of headcrabs Benrey left behind.

"Oh for fuck's sake—Benrey, just let them eat those. There must be at least fifty of the little fuckers in this building, you are not going to have time to cook them all."

Benrey lifts their head, blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden uptick in energy. Yellow eyes flick over to Benny, who's grown stiff as they realize the attention is on them again, though they're staring at the headcrab pile, unblinking, teal streaming out of their mouth.

Benrey throws their head back with a groan. "Ugh fine. But we're cooking SOME of them okay. You try eating raw chicken, versus, grilled chicken, see which one YOU want more," they grumble. Benny looks eagerly between them, Gordon, and the pile, before Benrey hastily snaps, "Go for it whatever I don't care!"

They barely get past the word "it" before Benny has pounced on the pile, sinking their teeth in with a growl. Benrey jumps at the sudden movement, knocking their chair into Gordon's hip. His hands land on the back of their seat, keeping them steady. As Benny tears bits of headcrab flesh off, their growls quickly turn to contented purrs and kittenish whining.

While they're busy with that, Gordon drapes his arms around Benrey's shoulders, the prickle of adrenaline beneath his skin tapering off as he takes a deep breath.

"Honestly, Benrey, I don't think they're really tasting stuff right now," he says. "Too hungry for that. They just need more nutrients to grow."

Benrey responds with a huff, a series of orange sweet voice bubbles getting blown out as they do.

It doesn't take very long for Benny to finish their feast, taking enormous bites and barely chewing before swallowing. No gag reflex, after all. When they're done, they return to Gordon's side. Only then does he pull away from Benrey, allowing Benny to slip their hand back into his. Their hair is halfway grown in on the left side, skull slowly covering itself as an ear and eye begin to form.

"Hey, look," Gordon says, using his free hand to inspect the new additions to their face. "More of Benny's cute face!"

Though he knows he's being annoyingly chipper about this, as evidenced by the sour look on Benrey's face, he can't help it. He's gotten stuck in the role of a mom struggling to convince his child their baby sibling is a good thing, and no, they can't return it to the baby store. His efforts don't appear to work this time, though, as Benrey just turns away, getting to their feet and heading for the door.

As they're preparing to leave, something hits him. "Wait, does Benny actually know how to use a rifle?" He turns to face them directly, asking them, "Do you know how to use a gun? You can have my crowbar if you need it."

"They're fine," Benrey snaps, causing Benny to flinch, a teal orb flying out of their mouth. "Can we go already?"

The sudden annoyance in their voice takes Gordon by surprise. What's with the sudden aggression? He just made a plan for them, and he's looking out for the skeleton they barely even want to acknowledge, yet they're acting like he just shit in their cereal.

It takes a lot of willpower not to snap back, to keep his emotions in check even as Benrey starts walking off without waiting for his input. Instead, he steps up and takes Benny's hand. "Yeah, let's go," he says.

The reality of the mall plan is starting to sink in the farther they get inside the place. The place is packed, which is going to make for a rough takeover. Though the zombies they're passing by barely even take notice of them as they creep through on their way to the food court, Gordon's anxiety still skyrockets at the sight of them, his nerves growing worse and worse the deeper they get into the mall. The threats are on all sides now. Sure, Benrey's here to protect him, but that doesn't stop it from being so nerve wracking.

Doesn't help that headcrabs keep leaping their way—even if Benrey's swatting them out of the air each time, it still makes Gordon jump. They toss the headcrabs into piles along the way, tugging Benny along by the back of their jacket when they try to pounce. Feeling bad for them, Gordon snatches one up to give to Benny to munch on, their sagging posture perking up at the offer.

As they chew noisily, Benrey glances back at them, a short stream of orange and red sweet voice parting their lips. What that means is lost on Gordon. All he can read on their face is boredom.

When they finally reach the food court, they hide behind a section of planters, where Gordon peers though the leaves at the horde milling about amongst the tables. It's nothing to someone like Benrey, but the space is cluttered with lots of places to hide, and the last thing they need is for the flock to scatter if Benrey charges in in full monster form.

He explains this all to the aliens, as Benrey sits cross-legged, their eyes appearing miles away while Benny is listening intently. "So we need something to grab their attention," he explains, looking between the two and trying not to let his anxiety get the better of him. "That's why… I'll rush in and act as bait. They'll rush me, and I'll dive around the corner, so Benrey can jump up and take everything out. Me and Benny will provide backup."

Glancing Benny's way, he can't find much in their expression, yet something about their tilted head and slightly narrowed eye looks uncertain. As for Benrey, it's like they aren't even listening—until suddenly, their pupils constrict, and their gaze locks onto him, a stream of orange and red sweet voice escaping them once more.

"Whuh… Wait, wha'the hell? This plan sucks," they complain. "You come up with that in dumb idiot school, for dumb idiots?"

Benrey's protests have Gordon reeling. He's really trying to come up with a logical course of action, here, not that Benrey cares to even listen while he explains it to them. It was their idea for him to take charge in the first place, yet they've done nothing but bitch and complain! The patience he's been cultivating over the last few days finally runs out.

"What's your fucking problem?" he snaps in an agitated whisper. "You said come up with a plan, and I did!"

"Bad plan! It's bad!" Benrey snaps back, leaning slightly into his space. "Hey, idiot? Play a little Ass Creed? Play a little Hitman? Throw a coin or something, not your whole body."

"What the fuck are you even talking about, a coin? You think the headcrabs care about a fucking coin? All they want is, fucking, human brain juice or whatever the fuck, and I'm the only one who's got any, so shut the fuck up and let me do my thing, alright?!"

The look on Benrey's face shifts from angry, to shocked, to something approaching devastated as he goes along in his rant, their eyes wide and filled with hurt. But he doesn't have to see the emotions play out on their face like that to be flooded with guilt. The shame is immediate and suffocating, the adrenaline propelling him forward into the crowded food court with his gun drawn.

"Hey, fuckers! Over here! Come get some!" he bellows into the food court, stepping deeper inside with his gun raised, ready to fire if anything gets too close.

The sound of his voice echoes throughout the wide open space, the ensuing silence deafening. His every nerve screams at him to flee, to run from the danger all around him, the bloodied pincers and sharp teeth and knife-like claws ready to eviscerate and devour him until there's nothing left.

But he doesn't move. And for a long while, the aliens around him don't, either. Their bodies shift to face him, but nothing charges. They don't even make noise.

That's when, to his left, he hears a blood curdling screech, turning to watch as a headcrab leaps towards him. Despite the loaded gun in his hand, despite all the time he's spent facing off against these creatures, despite his every instinct prior to this having been to swing until the threat is dead… Gordon freezes. And as he stares death in the face, all he can do is wonder if it'll hurt.

Then, something odd happens. The headcrab hurtling towards him twists midair, changing trajectory to hit the floor beside him like a bag of wet sand. Jumping back up, it skitters off in the opposite direction as Gordon watches on in total confusion. As he raises his head, it's to see the remainder of the headcrabs and zombies lose interest as well, shuffling away as if they're avoiding him. Stunned, all Gordon can do is watch their retreating backs, struggling to comprehend what the fuck is happening.

Even as the danger trickles away, even as his fear is slowly replaced by befuddlement, Gordon still can't get himself to move, his hands shaking as his chest heaves with his panicked breaths. There's a hissing noise in his ears as blood rushes past them, the leftover adrenaline in his body quickly pushing him towards a panic attack. Everything hits him at once—the way he'd snapped at Benrey, charging headfirst into danger despite the fact they must have been terrified of losing him. Through all the anger and frustration, he hadn't been able to come up with a good plan. He'd tried, but he fucked up, because he's stupid and useless and—

There's movement in his periphery, and Gordon finally breaks out of his paralysis to watch as Benrey comes out from behind cover, Benny hovering a few steps behind. They both look lost in their own ways, gold and blue glancing around at the food court that's managed to clear itself out. Even in the areas surrounding this one, the population of the mall has begun to thin out, clearing a space for seemingly no reason at all.

Swallowing thickly, Gordon turns from the strange sight before them to Benrey, trying to read their expression. Are they angry with him? Disappointed? But he can't see anything at all, their expression as closed off as he was used to it being back at Black Mesa.

"Benrey…" he starts, just for his voice to apparently trigger the alien finally making a move. They walk off, to the edge of the food court, appearing to investigate this strange phenomenon.

Panic tugs at his chest, urging him to be wary of them running off. It's what they do, they avoid all the tough conversations and flee from confrontation. But they're not doing that here. Their catlike gaze snaps from alien to alien, watching them flee. Some headcrabs hop through shattered windows and doorways, other creatures merely vanish into other shops or bathrooms. It's like a domino effect; the fleeing aliens make every alien who sees it flee as well.

To say Gordon is perplexed is putting it lightly. All he can think is, is there something out there that's drawing their attention? But, no, if there was, Benrey would know about it. So that leaves… something that's in here that's scared them? But if that were true, wouldn't Benrey know about that, as well? It's not like the aliens have ever fled from Benrey, they usually just ignore them until they start actively posing a threat.

Finally, Benrey turns back around, looking from Benny, who's been hiding behind Gordon—he hadn't even realized until he saw Benrey looking that way—to him, before letting their gaze wander the food court. Smacking their lips, they say, "Stay here, please and thank you. Also cover your ears."

"What—Why…?"

He gets an answer to that question as Benrey opens their mouth and lets out a stream of black sweet voice. It's not the same one he remembers from the hypnosis—and he knows, because this is the most terrifying thing he's ever heard, lacing dread around his very bones and leaving him with a nauseous, lightheaded feeling. Quickly, he claps his hands over his ears, but even with the noise reduced, he still feels awful, like there's something here that wants to kill him, compelling him to flee.

But he doesn't. No matter how strong the compulsion is, no matter how tense things are between him and Benrey, he knows they would never hurt him.

He watches as Benrey's form begins to shift and change, growing larger, their body littered with eyes and claws stretched out like knives. They rake said claws across the walls, spooking away even more aliens while taking out the occasional headcrab. The black sweet voice dripping from their mouth goes from bubbles to big, thick streams of light, the melody ringing out through the mall and causing even enemies that are far away to start looking for a way out.

Beside Gordon, Benny huddles closer, letting out a yellow hum that Gordon can't hear at all over the sound of Benrey's haunting aria. As Benrey gets farther away, Gordon's able to relax more—but not Benny. Their kittenish whines break his heart, and he pulls his hands away from his own ears to wrap his arms around their body instead, cradling them against him.

"It's okay," he soothes, running his hand down the back of their head, where he feels their soft, silky locks cascade down the back of their neck. "Come on, let's go somewhere safer."

Carefully, he guides Benny back to the plants the group was hiding behind before. Here, they press themself into a nearby alcove with a set of drinking fountains, where he wraps his jacket around Benny's frame, hiding them snugly against his chest.

Escaping zombies and headcrabs turn in their direction, some charging or leaping at the pair and causing Benny to flinch—Gordon reaches for his gun, just for the aliens to change tracks and flee once they get too close, the distorted screaming of the zombies changing in tone as they start heading in the opposite direction. Confused, Gordon slowly lowers his gun, holstering it and using his hand to keep stroking Benny's hair instead.

Eventually, all the noise dies out, leaving Gordon with his ears ringing, but otherwise unscathed. He pulls away from Benny to get their attention, letting them know. "I think it's over now," he says. Peering out from the corridor, all he can see is a single dead headcrab on the floor.

As the two of them step out, Gordon keeps his eyes peeled for any threats, leading Benny to the headcrab so they can snatch it up and get to munching. He tries not to watch as they do so.

While the two of them walk around, cautiously observing the area to ensure it's empty, they come across some fleeing aliens by the water fountain near one of the front entrances. Gordon quickly readies his handgun, tugging Benny by the hand to hide behind a section of potted ferns wrapped around the fountain. Peering around the sides, he sees the headcrabs start to investigate the fountain, apparently having lost interest in fleeing. Glancing back to Benny, he tells them, "Just, stay here," in a hushed whisper before creeping out from behind the ferns.

Shooting a pistol at targets hardly much bigger than a cat is a tricky thing to do, but Gordon manages to take down one of them before the others screech and start to charge. Hastily, he swaps to his crowbar, swinging at one as it comes close and knocking it back to the ground. Though it doesn't die, it, and the others, change course, fleeing towards the food court. Gordon readies his gun again, a little annoyed by this—yeah, it's good that they don't wanna eat his brains, but it's making combat a little trickier. At least when they're close, he can give them a good whack. Aiming as the fuckers are getting farther away is a challenge.

He has to give chase, but he manages to fell all of them. If he had on his HEV suit, he might think to pick them up and bring them to Benny. But as it is, he doesn't want to touch them barehanded. So he leaves them be, heading back to Benny oblivious that he's missing one headcrab.

When he gets to them, there's a headcrab hopping back and forth over Benny's head, where they're using their arms to block the top of their skull. The little guy seems confused, while Benny appears annoyed, like an older sibling being pestered by a much younger one. Gordon's about to dart over to help them when Benny gets fed up and slams the thing into the tile, pinning it to the floor with their claws and killing it instantly. A puppy whine escapes them as they tug their claws out.

"Hey, you okay, bud?" Gordon asks as he moves to kneel down beside them. They've gathered up their kill into their lap, and they're chewing on a pincer as he reaches out to pat their head. They growl, and he quickly rescinds his hand. "Okay, alright. I'm not gonna take it from you, okay? I don't want it." The taut line of Benny's shoulders relax as he says that. "Got more for you back here," he jabs a thumb over his shoulder, "Whenever you want 'em."

While they munch, seemingly safe where they are, Gordon continues surveying the area, keeping his ears peeled for… well, anything. Little alien screeches, zombie groaning, the thud of Benrey's boots against the tile. But he doesn't find anything, and he'd rather not wander too far out, leaving Benny behind.

So once he's done, he goes back to sit beside them. They've devoured half the headcrab, bone and all, and their hair is starting to grow thicker and longer as a result. The difference in length and texture from Benrey's hair was already apparent, but it's even more apparent now. Each strand glistens in the overhead light, a delicate sort of diamond-like shimmer as opposed to the liquid blue tint of Benrey's hair. It's fascinating, not to mention beautiful.

After they're done eating, Gordon watches them as they scurry off to eat the others. He feels bad for having left the headcrabs just lying around instead of piling them up like Benrey would, but, again, he's not touching a dead headcrab with his hands.

It's as he watches over them, ensuring nothing gets the drop on them, that he hears something coming, something big. Instinctually, he reaches for his gun, though he's not sure what good it'll do against a Golem Ape or whatever this thing is. Fuck, it sounds even bigger than that, bigger than anything he's ever encountered, except for…

Benrey. Whom, as Gordon looks out across the open space of the mall, he discovers to be the source of the noise. They're absolutely massive, not as big as they were on Xen, but enough for them to touch the ceiling that's around two storeys high. Their lumbering form takes careful, shuffling steps over to join the rest of the group, where they slowly get down on their front, hands laid on the ground where they obscure the lower half of Benrey's face. It feels like the kind of behavior someone would exhibit if they wanted to tame a feral cat; getting down to their level, no longer a hulking beast, but something surmountable.

"Hey there, big boy," Gordon greets with a slightly intimidated chuckle. Seeing them this size makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, forcing him to remind himself that this isn't Benrey, who wants to kill you, but Benrey, who wants to protect you. The lack of taunts and cackling sure helps. "Why are you large?" 

"Feels nice," they explain, lifting one of their hands to pet Gordon's face with just one of their fingers. It's bigger than his whole face, and clumsily skews his glasses in the process. He playfully swats at the digit, feeling not unlike an ant menacingly lifting its legs to threaten a human. "Feel free. Like when you take the HEV suit off."

The comparison is an apt one. Taking off that smelly old hunk of metal after wearing it for so long made his whole body feel lighter, like he could expand and float away.

"Yeah, that makes sen—Whoa!"

Being scooped up in Benrey's hand wasn't something he was prepared for, a panicked giggle escaping him as vertigo overtakes him. Soon enough, he's settled in the palm of Benrey's large hand, their flesh making for a strange, but soft bedding. 

"This okay?" they ask, their fingers smoothing over his back like a tender massage.

"Yeah, this is really comfy actually." As he gets closer to Benrey's face, he reaches out to place his hand on the bridge of their aquiline nose, leaning in to give them a small kiss. "Is everything gone? No hostiles left?" 

"This bitch empty," Benrey confirms.

As they say that, Benny darts over to stand before them, the sound of their feet slapping against the tile drawing Gordon's attention. Thanks to their recent meal, their growth has progressed even further, allowing them to stare up at Benrey with round, dilated blue eyes, looking like a black cat that's just a void with eyes.

They start climbing up Benrey's arm like a hungry kitten, startling a breathless laugh from them as they carefully reach with their other hand to pluck Benny up by their hood. Benny squirms, letting out little kittenish squeals of sweet voice that look tiny next to Benrey's massive head. Gordon briefly worries that Benrey's about to fling them across the mall to get rid of them, but instead, they're plopped down next to Gordon.

The two of them barely fit together on Benrey's palm, but Benny clearly isn't scared of being dropped with the way they're wandering around, touching and hanging off Benrey's fingers like a child at a playground. Watching them play is admittedly adorable.

When he turns back towards Benrey, the look on their face gives him pause. Golden eyes observe the scene before them skeptically, studying Benny like they aren't sure whether to find them cute or annoying. Though maybe annoying isn't the right word; Gordon isn't sure what Benrey's problem is with Benny, and it's not like they're willing to tell him, so he's having trouble understanding just what's inside their head as they watch Benny now.

"I was thinking," Gordon says. "We should barricade the exits, make sure nothing can get back in."

Benrey makes a low noise, sluggishly turning away from the sight of the two beings held in their hand to look out towards the nearest entrance. "Good plan," they lazily mumble. Something about their tone gets Gordon a little on edge, but he ignores it.

Pressing the two closer to their chest as Gordon lets out startled, "Whoa!", Benrey crawls forward, picking up nearby objects and stacking them around the doorway. Benny sits peering between two of their fingers as they do so, arms wrapped around their middle finger. Gordon much prefers being tucked safely behind their fingers like the restraints on a rollercoaster, but he still watches Benrey play Tetris with various benches, shelving units, art pieces, and other bits of furniture they've clearly decided are useless to them otherwise. This includes a vending machine full of canned coffee, though Gordon supposes there's a good chance those things are all expired by now.

There's two other entrances Benrey has to block off, and the feeling of being carried around while they crawl to each one is dizzying, but Gordon manages to keep from throwing up from his motion sickness. They're being very careful, though Gordon doesn't think they understand the concept of vertigo. Luckily for him, they start getting impatient, phasing their hand through the walls to bring in abandoned cars to use in their barricades, which make everything much faster. These vehicles are already busted up, so it doesn't feel too bad to see them crushed down as Benrey starts stacking them.

Once they're done, Benrey brings them back to the fountain, where they lean forward to press a kiss to Gordon's head, the sensation like a slightly moist pillow pressing into him and prompting him to giggle, happiness fizzing in his chest like bubbles in a can of soda.

It's a pity they can't stay this way. And after giving him that kiss, they start shrinking back down, laying their hand flat against the tile floor so Benny and Gordon can climb down to safety. The process is a little like watching a balloon deflate. Soon enough, Benrey's back to their normal size, and they flop dramatically to the ground with a heavy sigh. Gordon can't help but chuckle at their antics, while Benny merely looks them over before scampering off, kneeling beside the fountain to splash the water.

"Are you having a tantrum because I'm taller than you?" he teases, kneeling down to poke at their sides as he does. "How's the weather down there, huh?"

Turning their head towards Gordon's hand, they stick their tongue out at him. "Wehh—pfffftttt," they childishly make noises at him, blowing a raspberry like it's the punctuation at the end of their sentence. "It's cold pick me up." Rolling over onto their back, they give Gordon a pleading look while making grabby hand gestures at him, like a toddler wanting to be held.

Despite how complicated things have been today, Gordon doesn't hesitate before scooping Benrey up princess style. The fact Benrey's making childish jokes and demanding to be picked up means they're in a better mood, that they're not mad at him for messing things up so badly earlier. Maybe it's not as big of a deal as he thought.

Carrying them over to the fountain, he sets them down along the edge, where they can watch Benny splash around in the water. They're currently drawing shapes with their fingers, observing the way the water shifts and moves. The sight draws Benrey's gaze as well, closely following the motion of Benny's finger as they lean forward on their hands. As for Gordon, he takes a moment to look around. It's strange being in an empty mall like this, even weirder with so much shattered glass and blood, old and new, human and not. Makes him feel like he's just climbed out of a bunker twenty years after the end of the world.

Except for the electricity and running water, that is. So it's a pretty good thing that they're not even two weeks deep into the apocalypse.

"So, now that we got the mall all to ourselves," Gordon starts, observing their options of shops in the nearby vicinity. He didn't get a very good look when Benrey was carrying him around, too busy trying not to hurl. "What do we wanna do first? There's bound to be a lot of clothing stores, we could take Benny to find their own wardrobe. Pick out some stuff for themself."

Their newest companion is still wearing the same checkered pants and hoodie that Benrey dressed them in yesterday, which is looking quite messy now, stained with dirt and alien blood.

- ♡ -

Back when Benny was just a skeleton, Benrey was excited by the prospect of dressing them up, like a life sized doll they could decorate however they wanted. But Benny's an individual now, with their own tastes and interests. The fear is that they could end up being super boring. Not just in a superficial way, but they might hate video games, and all the other stuff Benrey's into. They might like… romantic comedies and period dramas and… Candy Crush. Oh god, the humanity.

It's going to happen no matter what Benrey wants, though, and they do love fashion, obviously. "Yeah, okay," they agree. If nothing else, they might get to visit some of the places they scoped out while scaring off all the aliens earlier. The Hot Topic here looks like it has some interesting stuff that wasn't at the last one they went to, and there's another Spencers that could have some fun t-shirts or comfy hats. There's also the Gamestop, but that has to be its own dedicated trip without all this Benny stuff getting in the way.

The alien in question is still splashing, though now they've got their sleeves rolled up and they're pushing the coins at the bottom of the fountain around. As Gordon approaches them, a soft smile on his face, they pluck something out of the water—a little ring with a plastic band and a cheap glass gem, which they observe very close to their face before turning and offering it up to Gordon.

"Is this for me?" he asks, receiving a green hum in response. He glances Benrey's way, as if expecting them to translate, but they don't say anything. So Gordon bends to accept the ring, giving Benny a polite smile as he turns it over in his hand. "Thank you. It's very pretty." The ring goes right into the pocket of his leather jacket. "So, Benny. We were thinking about taking you to find some new clothes. How does that sound?"

The look Benny gives him is eager, and they jump up to take his hand in both of theirs, staring up at him with wonder while, presumably, waiting for him to lead the way. Benrey watches all of this go down with a bored detachment. Heaving a sigh like this is the biggest inconvenience in the world, they get up to take Gordon's other hand. At least Gordon laughs like it's a joke.

Together, the trio wanders through the mall, as both Benny and Benrey curiously look around, Benrey's eyes hooded and bored while Benny looks amazed by every single thing they see. Every now and then, Benny will point at something, looking expectantly at Gordon until he explains what it is to them. He's treating them like Tommy and it's getting on Benrey's nerves, if they're honest. Where was this kindness when Benrey first came along, huh? Sure, he caught them when they got stuck on the ladder, but everything else was just yelling in their face.

Annoyed, Benrey does their best to tune it all out, letting their eyes blur and mind empty out. But after what feels like way too much time passes, they double check their memory of the time they'd spent zoning out to realize that Benny's led them through the entire mall already. Now they're toying with the chain-strings to their hoodie and looking down at the floor, shoulders hunched and pupils constricted. Something about this isn't working for them, and Benrey can't see what it is—there's a Hot Topic in this mall, so what's the issue? But Benny doesn't seem to feel the same way about the emo clothing store, or really feel much about anything they've seen so far.

"Thought we were goin' shopping or sum'n," Benrey says, bored out of their mind. Their comment has Benny shrinking back even further, with Gordon looking from them to Benrey reproachfully.

"Hey, give them some time," he says. "They're still new, and it's probably pretty overwhelming."

Having Gordon scold them like that has Benrey groaning in irritation. Benny's "new"—yeah, Benrey's new to this, too. This is only their second time in a mall, ever, yet they have several different places lined up that they wanna check out. Meanwhile, Benny can't summon up an interest in a single one. It's not like this mall is that small.

"Bro let's just go to GameStop," Benrey complains as the group moves to sweep through the entire mall again. It just feels like such a huge waste of time. They could have been doing something fun!

Gordon doesn't even respond this time, too busy responding to Benny's curiosities as they point out another storefront, and Gordon has to explain to them that it only sells jewelry, not actual clothing. At this point, Benrey's decided to vent their frustrations to a nearby mannequin in a store window.

"Can you believe this shit," they grumble to the mannequin. "Could'a been at GameStop. I know, right? It's ridiculous, been here all day."

"Can you stop being so childish?" Gordon suddenly snaps, whipping around to glare down at Benrey. Though they don't return his gaze, they can see his reflection in the shop's windows, where he glares at the back of their head for a while before turning away. "For once in your fucking life can you try and think about someone other than yourself? Learn to be fucking patient?"

"What? I'm patient!" Benrey snaps back, turning to glare petulantly at the back of his head as Benny stares worryingly over at them. But they don't notice that, or really think at all, blinded by the sudden wave of anger his words have brought them. "Bro, I'm the most patience, all I do is be patience. You never think about me, what about that? What about what Benrey want?"

Gordon whips back around, anger in his eyes. "You couldn't even spare thirty minutes to let Benny figure out where they wanted to go before you started whining! Or at least pause to warn us before you ran off doing some fucked up song. Hey, why the fuck didn't that come up sooner? You didn't even tell me you could do that! Why did I have to come up with a plan, make myself look like a fucking idiot, when you could've just done that?! Bet you thought that was hilarious, huh."

The look on Benrey's face grows more coldly distant as he goes on, closing off all the emotion in their gaze until they barely look like they're paying attention. "Whatever," they grumble, hunching their shoulders and sharply turning away. "Don't appreciate me, all I do. Like Benny so much why don't you hang out with them instead."

In the window's reflection, Benrey watches Gordon give them a long look, before turning back to Benny. "Fuck it. Do whatever you want. I'm going to be the fucking responisble one as usual and try to find Benny some clothes."

His words are like a punch to the gut, but the feeling that crashes over them as he lets go of their hand and stalks off is even worse. An uncomfortable heat settles over their body, the world around them growing distant as their hands begin to tremble. Benrey clenches them into fists, waiting until Gordon's far enough away to storm off in the opposite direction. There's nothing good back here, but they aren't thinking about that, or about anything at all. They just—

He left them. He really, actually left them to go be with Benny instead. Doesn't he know that you're not supposed to agree when someone says that? But, no, he doesn't care about the rules, he doesn't care that they cleaned up his mess after his shitty stupid plan did nothing for anybody, he doesn't care that they're out here protecting him, all he cares about is Benny.

That stupid fucking skeleton. Why didn't they get rid of it when they had the chance? All Benny has to do is look oh-so sweet and innocent latching onto him all the time, and he falls for it. He's barely known Benny longer than a few days and he's already so much nicer to them than he ever was to Benrey. So, what? Benny gets kissed on the head and Benrey gets yelled at and shot in the face with a minigun? Where's Benrey's kindness, huh? When they're making him laugh during the most stressful period of his life, not a single "thank you"? All Benny's done is clean the kitchen and he likes them so much more already.

How could he call them selfish? All they do is think about him! Keeping him safe, getting food and clothes for him, making sure he's happy. The song, why would they use a song that would make him disturbed and frightened when he's been so emotionally fragile ever since they watched him put a gun to his head? Why would they do that knowing how bad it would be? How could they even mention it, knowing he'd probably tell them to do it anyway, if his other idea included getting himself killed?

Of course they didn't want to use the song, but they had to do something, before his next plan was to run at the headcrabs and hope they ran away again. Stupid. Everything they do is for him, everything.

And it's still not good enough.

Eventually, Benrey's feet take them to the doorway they entered the mall through earlier, merely glancing at it before stepping inside. The dimly lit hallway wraps around the entire mall, creating back entrances for many of the shops and food court stalls. They wander aimlessly through it, feeling worse with each additional step.

Are they not good enough? Throughout the entirety of the resonance cascade, Benrey hadn't done much to help at any opportunity. There were no consequences, so why bother? They'd rather focus on making Gordon laugh while soaking up all the shit they never got to see. Now that they know there's real consequences, are they actually taking it seriously? They didn't help Gordon with the plan, they didn't stop him from running out into danger, and then… they left him alone again, where anything could've happened while they were off clearing out the mall. They've failed on every single thing they promised to do for him, to do with him.

The urge to run away is powerful. They could go anywhere, never deal with this ever again. But to leave Gordon behind… well, he has Benny now, doesn't he? A way better version of them that he likes way more than them, that will one day grow to be just as powerful as them, if not more. Because Benny will never let anyone down. They'll never be stupid, and useless, and lazy, because they're perfect in every way and Gordon can obviously see that.

Tears burn Benrey's eyes as their aggressive steps slow, their body feeling heavy, like gravity is trying to push them down to the ground where they belong. It's so obvious. Gordon's going to leave them, because all they're good for is being a funny little guy, and not the partner he needs. Why did they ever think this would work out? Just because he felt strongly for them yesterday doesn't mean he still does today, that he hasn't moved on from being blinded by his attraction, by his desire for companionship. That he hasn't realized how rotten they are and how rotten they've always been.

Finally, they reach a door, phasing through it to find themself inside one of the food court booths. More specifically, it's a Cinnabon—a place they always wanted to eat at, but never could, because there wasn't one close enough to Black Mesa. The place is full of metal countertops and industrial cookware, with a wall to divide it from the front of the restaurant, where people would go to order.

They pick a nice spot on the floor to sit down at, leaning back against the counter where they pull their backpack forward to rest in their lap. Each motion borders on frantic, distracting away from the tears slipping down their face and the ugly thoughts raging through their head. Tugging roughly on the zipper, shoving items aside as they search for the item they're looking for. It's a black device that fits perfectly in their hand, with a forked tip and little metal rods along the top.

As they go to press the silver button on the side, they hold it up to their face, watching as the metal rods in the center spark violently, creating a bright blue electrical charge. The buzz is loud and annoying like the alarms they'd hear in the Black Mesa dorms. Which is the friendliest association they can conjure up for this sound, which threatens to throw them back onto sterile operating tables and bloodied hallways. Right now, it sounds like release.

- ♡ -

Gordon's emotions are still running hot as he drags Benny away, not bothering to check if Benrey's following or storming off on their own. They'd asked him to leave, he's just giving them what they want. Sure, it's petty as fuck, and part of him knows this, but he's too annoyed to care.

What the fuck is Benrey's major malfunction, anyway? Why do they always make things so difficult? Gordon really thought they moved past this, that they've learned to open up and talk about things. But no! They've been acting just like they did back in Black Mesa. Never giving straight answers, wandering off on their own, acting without thinking. What are they even thinking? Gordon has no idea.

There's something wrong, that doesn't take a genius to figure out. Despite being so flat and expressionless, Gordon can tell Benrey's upset. All the childish mockery is proof enough of them lashing out. Guilt peeks through his anger, reducing the flames to a dull flicker. Should he have tried harder? Pushed them to talk, not lost his temper? It's not all on him, but he should know by now to be the adult in these situations. It's not Benrey's fault they were raised in a lab, taught to keep their emotions to themselves. 

That thought fully douses the remaining embers of his rage, leaving him with nothing but a nauseating guilt in the pit of his stomach. He really fucked this up, as usual. He should go back, apologize to Benrey, and—

A tug on his hand brings his racing thoughts to a halt. He hasn't been paying attention to where him and Benny are going, too caught up in his own turbulent thoughts and feelings. As Gordon peers around Benny, he sees they've stopped outside a clothing store, an Abercrombie and Fitch by the look of it. 

"You wanna go in here?" he asks, prompting Benny to look up at him, guilt written all over their face. "No, no, it's okay. The point of this trip is to find you something to wear, right?"

Benny doesn't look fully convinced, their glowing blue eyes flicking from Gordon's face to the corridor from whence they came. For one hopeful second, Gordon expects to hear the sound of Benrey's chunky boots approaching, but there's no one there when he glances over his shoulder. 

"We'll find them later," he tells Benny. "It'll be good for us to take some time to cool our heads." Though his reassurance is more for him than it is for Benny, it still gets them to relax a little more. With one last look down the hall, Benny heads into the store, Gordon following close behind. 

It's not a big shop, featuring only one room packed with racks and shelves of clothing. It's not the style Gordon would've expected from someone who came from Benrey. There's lots of blue jeans and t-shirts in neutral colors and cuts. Pretty boring, if Gordon's being honest. Still, he lets Benny explore, their fingers tracing over the different materials, but never picking up or taking anything down.

Watching them sort through the clothes on display has Gordon wondering if maybe they need some reassurance. It might be scary for them to be faced with all these choices after spending so much time as a part of Benrey's hivemind. Though Gordon remembers craving the ability to decide what to wear and how to style his hair as a child, to the point that he went a little crazy with it once he was out in the world on his own, it's probably a lot different for Benny. The human experience probably isn't the best thing to compare Benny's life to. After all, they aren't human.

"It's okay, bud, pick whatever you like," he says, stepping up behind them as they rub the fabric on a blue camisole between their thumb and forefinger. "There's some change rooms in the back, you can try stuff on if you wanna."

He gestures towards the dressing rooms before he has a chance to reflect on his own words, and it hits him moments after he's spoken them into being. There's some tall mirrors displayed on the walls across from each booth. Has Benny… ever seen their own face? It's only grown within the past hour or so. At best, he'll bet they've glimpsed themself in the fountain water or one of the glass store fronts. But this is a full body mirror in a well-lit store.

Before he can even think to address this conundrum with them, Benny wanders off. A sense of worry and dread floods Gordon's body as he watches them go. He's not even entirely sure what he's worried about, if he thinks they'll be scared or perhaps even disappointed by their own appearance. This situation is entirely unprecedented, after all.

All he can really do is watch as Benny stumbles into the hallway full of dressing rooms. Even just the sight of their own hands in the mirror causes them to jump, eyes wide, startled. Wild blue eyes flick around, taking in their reflection like it's going to jump out and hurt them. Gordon rushes after them, ready to do some damage control if need be.

But as he gets closer, he realizes there's no need. They've calmed down already, tentatively approaching the mirror to set one hand on its reflective surface, then the other, leaning on them to get as close to their face as possible. Blue eyes flick over each individual feature, barely even blinking.

Eventually, they pull back, touching their aquiline nose, of which the tip has a downward point, before tugging and pulling at their lips, which are slightly puffier than Benrey's on top of being more heart-shaped. Once they're done observing their face, they stroke through their hair, gently pulling on the curly strands to see how long they are. Even without a direct comparison, Gordon can tell their hair is a little longer than Benrey's, reaching slightly past their shoulders.

That's when they start undressing. First by tossing their jacket aside, allowing them to pull the fabric of their hoodie flush against their body to see its shape better. Even through the thick sweatshirt fabric, it's obvious Benny has a thick, muscular figure not unlike Benrey's own.

Then they go to tug off their hoodie, causing a sense of alarm and embarrassment to flare in Gordon's chest, compelling him to leave, give them some privacy. But then, he sees it: patches of blue-gray skin forming all over their torso. The flash of color gives him pause, gazing over their body just as intently as Benny is their reflection in the mirror. It's clear they take after Benrey in the muscle department, based on the ripple of muscle across their back and the broad chest displayed in the mirror.

The sight reminds him so much of Benrey that his body involuntarily reacts to it, flashing with heat as he remembers how, just a few hours earlier, a chest just like that had pressed into his back. He has to shake those thoughts away. This isn't Benrey, this is Benny, and everything is far too complicated to even consider looking at Benny in that way.

Cautiously, he approaches them, standing just behind their left shoulder. "You're still growing, so things might change," he tells them, their blue eyes flicking up towards him in the mirror. "But you've grown yourself a good body there, Benny. I mean, I dunno how much control you had over it, but, you know… compliment still stands."

At his words, Benny stands straighter, pushing their broad shoulders back. They start running a hand over their waist, fingers dipping into the curves of their abdomen, pausing to rub over a section of skin there. It feels intimate in a way that makes Gordon feel like he should look away, but he doesn't.

"Do you, uhh… like how you look?" he asks. Awkwardly, Gordon places a hand on Benny's shoulder, giving them a squeeze. Like this, he can feel the muscle beneath his palm, causing his stomach to give a strange little flip at the sensation. He can also feel the way Benny tenses up, a shiver running down their spine as a rusty orange mote of light parts their lips, causing him to hastily remove his hand. Though he's touched them plenty, apparently going skin-to-skin is too much for them right now.

His question seems to give them something to consider, though, as they start observing their body even more closely, specifically the parts with skin, wincing at the bruise over their rib but continuing to poke at it anyway. Their hands travel all the way over their chest, up their neck to their face, experimentally rubbing and pinching. Once they're done with all that, they look down, reaching for the tie to their pants. They're halfway to tugging the bow free when they suddenly pause, pink to yellow sweet voice flying out of their mouth as their gaze darts to Gordon.

All at once, Benny hastily darts inside one of the change room stalls while Gordon turns to make his tactical retreat. "I'll just wait out here!" he calls over his shoulder, turning the corner and heading back into the rest of the shop.

As he wanders around, keeping close in case Benny needs him for anything, he tries to focus on the clothes, hoping to find something for himself, but he's left utterly uninspired. That causes his mind to wander again, swiftly finding its way back to where he left off before they went into the store.

He misses Benrey. It hasn't been long since they parted ways, but their absence stings like an open wound. They're supposed to be here, sharing this moment with him and Benny. It shouldn't be just him, left feeling like he's stealing a precious memory from Benrey.

This is a guilt Gordon is familiar with. In those first few years of raising Joshua, every time he reached a new milestone—his first smile, first step, first word—it felt like he was robbing his sister of what was rightfully hers. It shouldn't be him, experiencing the joy of hearing her son's first laugh. The guilt got better with time, but now, it's back in full force. With it is another, darker feeling he's struggled with since her death.

Why is he still alive, when far better people have died? How is it fair? What good has he done by having more time on earth? All he's done is attached himself to Benrey, tied them down with his miserable existence. Sure, they tell him they love him, and he loves them too. But what good has it done them? All he does is keep fucking up, keep hurting them.

Before his thoughts have a chance to spiral further though, there's a rustling of fabric as Benny steps back out of the dressing room. Their clothes are back on, their drawstring tied into a neater, cuter bow. The sight of them pushes some of Gordon's darker thoughts to the side, reminding him that he's done at least one thing right. Without him, Benny wouldn't exist, might never have grown to be who they are today. And right now, when Benrey's too overwhelmed, scared, and confused to take the reigns, Benny needs Gordon.

"Hey, bud," Gordon greets. "Find anything?"

Benny looks uncertainly around the store, before shaking their head, hung low with shame.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Gordon reassures them. "You… you wanna keep looking in some other stores? You can wear whatever you like, anything at all. Lots of places to pick through."

Benny appears to relax at that, enough to take his hand and lead him out into the mall again. Before they bring him anywhere, though, they pause, their eyes growing distant before their shoulders start to sag. Gordon's about to ask what that was about when Benny finally starts walking.

The first store they step into isn't far. It sells nothing but shoes and shoe related items, and Benny looks around for awhile before ending up with a pack of plain black socks. They tear the package open with their claws, awkwardly hopping around trying to put them on before Gordon directs them to a stool to sit down on. They hum a chipper green once the socks are on, sticking the rest of the package in the front pocket of their hoodie.

With that out of the way, they start exploring, poking and sniffing at the shoes, trying on several pairs but passing up on everything. They look at Gordon a lot in the process, their expression never changing, yet somehow, it's clear they're seeking approval. He tries his best to be supportive, but they still can't decide on anything. Soon enough, they're on the move again, leaving the shoe store with nothing to show for it but some socks.

They take Gordon to several more stores after that. At one, they find a black turtleneck sweater, rubbing it all over their face and hugging it against their body before looking at Gordon with a round, pleading look. Only once he expresses approval do they move on, clutching the garment against their chest, having finally found something they like.

It gets easier after that—they track down a lot of sweaters that pass the rub-on-face test, seeming to know their sizes already. Some pants get added, ranging from tight black slacks to cropped plaid chinos without much variety or flair, unlike Benrey's unnecessary zippers, chains, and belts. They never try anything on though, shaking their head vehemently when Gordon asks. Not wanting to make this any harder, Gordon doesn't push. 

Everything gets placed into bags, all of which Benny insists on carrying themselves. By the end of their trip, they've amassed quite the collection. While Gordon's happy to see it, he has trouble fully relaxing or enjoying himself. Every time they exit a store, he finds himself searching for a flash of black hair, ears peeled for the thumping of combat boots. But Benrey never turns up.

They haven't left, have they? Panic prickles up the back of his neck. What if they have? What if he fucked up badly enough that they teleported away, that they abandoned them both? Is he all alone now, with a newly formed alien he can't even properly communicate with?

His mounting panic stops him in his tracks, causing Benny to look to him with concern. While he doesn't understand the colors that leave their mouth, the concern in their gaze is clear enough. His attempt to reassure them with a smile don't pan out, his face having gone numb.

"It's… I'm—Benny, do you—Can you track down Benrey? Like, do you have a mini map in your head, too?" 

Gordon has no idea if Benny's powers are anything like Benrey's, when all he's seen them do is the sweet voice. But to his relief, Benny nods.

"Oh," Gordon says, struggling to keep his voice from shaking. "Are—Are they nearby?"

Benny's eyes grow distant in the same way Benrey's do whenever they're checking their minimap. The search is swift, and their ensuing nod has Gordon nearly sinking to the floor with relief. Benrey's still here! He hasn't driven them away yet!

He needs to go be with them. It's a feeling as strong as any of his primary needs, a hunger driving him to seek them out. "Can you—" Before he can get the words out, Benny tugs on his hand, leading him off towards the food court.

Chapter Text

A shaking breath escapes Benrey as they finally drop the stun gun, sagging back against the counter with their limbs splayed out, unable to move. The heat of the sparks coursing through their veins gives them a feverish feeling, mind totally devoid of thought, just swimming in a sea of electrified water that has their body twitching here and there. At first, it's nonstop, but the longer they sit waiting out the electric charge, the more their body begins to calm down. The bruises and burns on their arms and torso fade away, taking the sting along with it.

Now that everything's gone, all their thoughts and feelings, they can finally relax. It's better this way. Reminds them of being alone in their dorm, high as a kite and mindlessly playing Oblivion all night while everyone else slept. Those were good times, easy times.

This is good and easy, too, a lot like the afterglow following a brutal, violent fuck. It's pretty easy to find guys that'll do that for them. Maybe it's because they're so annoying.

Didn't work for Gordon, though.

Speaking of Gordon… they can hear footsteps out in the food court, one set soft and padded while the other features the thump of a heavy boot. Panic breaks through the haze, and Benrey rushes to hide the evidence of what they've been doing, knowing he'd be weird about this. The only problem is that their left arm still can't move very well, stiff as a board and resisting all attempts at movement. At best they can pick it up off the ground and bend some of their fingers, but it's exhausting and difficult. Luckily their right arm isn't faring as bad. It just gives them some difficulty grabbing onto things, tugging their shirt back on and hiding the stun gun in their backpack.

The zipper is still being pulled as the door to the Cinnabon's kitchen opens up. Their shirt isn't quite on correctly, riding up along their abdomen and hanging at different lengths down their arms, but everything is covered… they think.

Doesn't stop their panic from rising when they finally see Gordon step into view. For some reason, Benny isn't with him—they're hanging around outside the booth, instead. Golden eyes flick over Gordon's form, taking in the tense look on his face with a blank expression.

"Uh… heyyyy, what's up, gamers," Benrey drawls, a hint of uncertainty in their otherwise casual tone. This doesn't have to be weird or uncomfortable unless someone makes it that way. They can keep going on like normal, no fighting, no crying, nothing difficult. There's cinnamon buns in the freezer the three of them can snack on, a whole mall with a vast selection of entertainment, the world's their oyster. It doesn't have to be weird.

The longer Gordon stands there just staring at them, like they're some kind of animal he's afraid to scare off—where they gonna go, huh?—the more anxious Benrey becomes. Can he see right through them? Does he have something bad to say? His mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally spares them from the anticipation.

"Hey, Benrey," he starts. "Can I—I'm sorry I was such a dick before. Is it okay if we—Can I hug you?"

The way he holds his arms up slightly from his sides in invitation has Benrey reacting automatically. Of course they want hug, they nearly always want hug. But when they go to raise their arms in response, only one of them actually raises much higher than an inch off the ground. Panic cuts through them once more, turning their body hot as they quickly course correct, using their (functional) right hand to adjust their shirt, as if that's what they'd meant to do all along. This is the worst timing. Why couldn't he have waited ten more minutes?

In struggling to come up with a quick response, Benrey panics and blurts out, "Who was dick? You was dick? Don't appreciate Benrey and their song? Worked on that concert for awhile, y'know, practicing in front of the mirror."

As they ramble on, they try flexing the fingers on their left hand, hoping it appears as if they're messing with their belt, rubbing over the leather while avoiding the metal loops.

"Sorry it's so ear piercingly ugly," they continue. "S'why I didn't wanna do it in front of you, not the intended audience."

They're stalling. In their current state, thinking is really hard, and they can't figure out what to do to get them out of this situation save for telling Gordon to leave. But they're aware enough to understand they don't want him to get mad again when he's clearly calmed down since their fight. Luckily, their stalling buys them enough time to figure out something better.

"Hey, they sell cinnamon buns here?" they finish.

The strained smile on Gordon's face fades away, his arms reluctantly lowering back down to his sides. "Yeah, they do…" Trailing off, Gordon worries his bottom lip between his teeth before taking a step closer. "Hey, are we—Benrey, are we okay? Are you mad at me?"

"Huh?" Benrey blurts.

Finding the answer to Gordon's question is more complicated than it should be when their brain is firmly set to Do Not Disturb, put into sleep mode, installing firmware updates, and so on. Are they mad? Currently, no, they don't feel any emotion resembling anger. But that's not what he means. It goes deeper than that, down to how they feel about Gordon and what the two of them have been clashing over since… after the date, basically.

Are they mad? It's a simple yes or no question, but it feels like a boss at the end of a level, the essay question on a test. And they just don't know. "I don't know. Can you work a grill?" they struggle to raise their left arm to point; it's getting better, but not good enough yet, so they quickly give up before he can suspect anything, using their right to gesture to what they think the cinnamon buns get cooked in. "I wanna order a dozen cinnamon rabbits please."

Gordon deflates like a balloon, his shoulders sagging as his gaze drops to his feet. The reaction's kind of annoying in the way that Benrey doesn't wanna deal with someone else's mood, because their brain just can't deal with this much input right now. Luckily, a soft smile forms on Gordon's face not long after—and they don't quite notice the fact it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Yeah, okay," Gordon says. "That's—That's fair. I need to—Lemme just fetch Benny and I'll see what I can do."

The response confuses Benrey a little, until he promises to try, at which point every other thought is discarded as they look forward to some tasty cinnamon buns. They try to wave as Gordon heads back out, but their left arm is still stiff and he leaves too fast for them to try their right.

Once he's gone, Benrey can finally take the time to recover properly. Starting with getting up off the floor, this stopped being fun after Gordon showed up. With some effort, they manage to grab their backpack and stand up, relying on the counters for balance. There's nothing wrong with their legs, but their body feels pretty tired in general, always slow to recover from electroshock in comparison to everything else. There's an explanation for it, but they didn't understand it and don't remember it as a result. What matters is that they take the time to stretch out and coax their upper half into working properly so no one notices what they've been up to.

Though, who would, really? Benrey might be pretty ignorant about the real world, but they know enough to understand that people don't come into contact with stun guns very often. There's no reason for Gordon to ever suspect a thing.

The sound of the door opening once more has Benrey turning away from the counter they've been using to stretch, expecting to find Gordon, but all they see is Benny. The sight perplexes them, staring at the door even after Benny's stepped away from it, anticipating Gordon's arrival, but never getting it. Was it something they said? It's still pretty hard to think good, to the point they can't even remember what Gordon said to them.

Turning to Benny, who pauses a few steps away, they tip their head to one side and say, "Why you here? Gordon's not s'posed to be left alone, dummy." Even as messed up as they are, that rule is one they can't forget. "Go back to Feetman."

It's clear their words go in one ear and out the other, as Benny doesn't even budge. Instead, the alien moves to stand next to them, carefully leaning their head on Benrey's shoulder. The act of affection throws them for a loop, instinctually wanting to push them away, to run off and hide behind Gordon like a scared child. But as Benny huddles even closer, wrapping their arms around Benrey's bicep and nuzzling into their neck, something inside Benrey just breaks.

"Life is such shit," Benrey complains. "Sorry I gave you one. Wanted him to be happy but he wasn't even happy. Nearly ruined him and I was just trying to be what he wanted." They pause, ignoring the purple Benny is humming at them and staring down at the tile floor instead. "I don't know what to be anymore. I want to be nice but I can't stop being mean, got cursed or something."

They sigh, turning to bury their face in Benny's hair. There's a lot of it now, Benrey suspects it might even be a bit thicker than their own hair. As they do so, Benny moves their arms to wrap around Benrey's waist, an embrace they still can't return, but they lean their head on Benny's shoulder anyway.

"He doesn't get how hard this is for me," they continue. "My limiter broke and everything's out of whack now. I don't know how to be normal when he's trying to make me talk about all this shit, why can't he just stop?"

The after effects of the stun gun seem to be clearing now, allowing them to think through their feelings on the matter a little better. Though they're still not sure what they can do about it. What they want to do about it. Thinking definitely isn't on that list, though, so now that they've got some venting out of the way, they're done thinking for a few hours.

"Thanks," Benrey sighs, pulling away and patting Benny on the head. "Good talk."

From there, Benrey moves on to preparing the cinnamon buns for real. Luckily, it isn't too hard to locate what they need, and after the ordeal of figuring out how to start up the ovens, they get to cooking. Luckily there's instructions left behind on some little post-it notes, written so even a four year old could understand it.

With Benny's help, Benrey gets a whole in tray cooking before sitting on the ground to stare at the oven. Moments later, Benny joins them, kneeling beside them to watch without a word.

- ♡ -

When Gordon had gone in to talk to Benrey, he'd been tentatively hopeful of a smooth reconciliation. They've had much worse fights before, and they always make up just fine. All they have to do is hug it out, and everything will go back to normal.

But it's not that easy this time. Neither his apology nor his offer of a hug are accepted. All he gets is criticisized and called an idiot for getting mad at them over the song they used to clear out the mall. Sure, they didn't use the word "idiot", but he can read between the lines. And why wouldn't they think he's an idiot? He feels like an idiot, a stupid, cowardly, selfish idiot who can't see what good he's got until he's already lost it.

That fear chokes him as he staggers, lightheaded, out of the kitchen. He might've lost Benrey over his stupid behavior, and there would be no one to blame but himself.

Right outside the door, Gordon spots Benny hovering nearby, their bags set down on the shop's front counter. A pair of blue eyes dart from the floor to Gordon, before glancing back at the door, their shoulders sagging.

"They're… they're still in there, if you wanna…" Gordon trails off, his eyes falling away from Benny to stare off into the distance. He just feels so hopeless now that Benrey's brushed him off like this. How can he fix things? How can he make it right again?

He's drawn out of his thoughts by a strong pair of arms encircling his waist. Looking down, he finds Benny resting their chin against his chest, staring up at him with their soft blue eyes. Purple and gray motes of light drift out of their mouth, the meaning lost on him, yet the melody is so calming regardless.

"Thanks, bud," Gordon says, carefully placing his arms around their shoulders. "I really appreciate it. I just hope I haven't fucked up too much with Benrey."

Another burst of colors flows out of their mouth, but he doesn't know how to interpret the grey and teal bubbles he sees floating past their head. Sighing, he reaches up to scratch his neck just to find the mark instead. The sting of his nails scraping over the wounds leaves him longing for Benrey's embrace again. Everything's always so easy when they're having sex, no walls, no misunderstandings, only a constant flow of love and pleasure.

"I dunno how much of Benrey's memories you have," Gordon starts, "But we went through some fucked up shit together, and… I treated them pretty bad. Well, it was kinda mutual, but they didn't understand what they were doing, unlike me. I knew what I was doing and did it anyway. The… all that shit I said earlier, it was just like back then. But, I—I'm not like that anymore, at least, I don't want to be, but…" he trails off. "I think I might've triggered some bad memories for them."

Glancing back to the door, Benny steps out of the embrace to do some charades, from the looks of things. They gesture towards the door, before tapping their wrist and shaking their head at him. He thinks he knows what that means.

"You're saying I should give it some time?" he asks, receiving a nod in response. That's easier said than done. Having to wait with all these feelings inside him is a challenge, but if that's what he has to do to get Benrey back on his good side, then that's what he'll have to do. After pressing a quick kiss to Benny's forehead, he says, "Alright. I guess I'm gonna go find something else to do, then. But, uh, can you go check on them? Make sure they're okay?"

Benny gives him a thumbs up, which he returns with a smile and a pat on their shoulder before they head inside the kitchen. Feeling oddly encouraged, he looks around the food court, hoping to find something he could use to convey how sorry he is to Benrey.

Finally, his eyes land on a McDonald's at the other end of the food court. Now that's an idea. Thinking back on the happiest moment he's shared with Benrey, it all had to do with the alien's love of ice cream, and how their homemade recipe made them both feel. A McDonald's soft serve is gruel compared to homemade ice cream laced with sweet voice, but it's better than nothing. And it will go well with the cinnamon rolls.

With that added boost of confidence, Gordon hurries over to get things started. Luckily, he remembers his time working at a McDonald's in high school, so he could probably still operate the ice cream machine. And as he steps inside the booth to get to making some, he's pleased to find next to nothing changed in the ten years since his stint working at one of these places. The soft serve base seems fine, and he only has to clean out the machine before he can get the cooling process going.

While he waits, Gordon goes through the motions of filling and starting up the fryer, dumping in a bag of nuggets and some fries. While that cooks, he checks on the ice cream. Hopefully it'll be ready soon, so Gordon can gift Benrey a McFlurry as a peace offering.

Keeping himself in motion and focused on his various tasks helps keep his mind from wandering. He's able to forget all his worries and anxieties as he loads two trays full of nuggets and fries, filling his jacket pockets with sauce packets before finding a table at the food court to set everything down at.

Only then does his anxiety return. Neither Benrey nor Benny are anywhere nearby, and he can't help but worry they've left, that maybe Benrey's convinced Benny to run away with them, to ditch the dead weight. That's when he hears a burst of sweet voice from nearby. At least one of them is still around—and if Benrey had run off alone, Benny would let him know right away. Taking a deep breath, Gordon slumps down at one of the tables, nibbling on a fry while trying not to look too miserable.

- ♡ -

Once the food's ready, Benrey tracks down a bunch of to-go boxes, using some disposable gloves and a pair of tongs to put their treats inside. Luckily, in the time it's taken for the sweets to bake, their arms have regained full range of motion. Still, Benny helps out, doing a much neater, but also much slower job. It's pretty annoying, if Benrey's being honest. They bet Gordon likes that, that Benny's so much neater than they are.

Benrey grabs enough plastic silverware for three people, handing one of the packets to Benny. After that, the two of them grab a box each, with a dozen cinnamon buns stacked in either one. It's obvious which is Benrey's, because there's glaze smeared across the sides and the buns are sloppily stacked partially on top of each other.

Finding Gordon is easy, considering the food court's so open and there's no one else here. Not to mention how much his leather jacket and dumb, cute little cat ear beanie stand out against the pale tile and red tables.

Two warring emotions strike them at once—how much they love him, and how tense all the fighting has them. How are they meant to approach him now? What if he wants to talk things through, what then? It's so tiring. They can't keep brushing him off forever. He's gotta stop, or they're never gonna get along properly.

While they're fretting about all that, Benny confidently strides forward, leaving Benrey scrambling to catch up with them. Each step has Benrey panicking harder, trying to figure out what they're gonna say, how they're gonna field Gordon's questions. As they get closer, Gordon lifts his head, aiming a tentative smile their way that looks miserably forced. Does he have to look like such a kicked puppy about this?

"Hey," they greet, setting their box of cinnamon buns down next to Benny's, to which the other alien starts adjusting them to be symmetrical with the table. Seeing the treats next to Gordon's tray of fries and chicken nuggets gives them an idea. "I bet you want my cinnamon rabbits sooooo—Benny stop, I'm doing a thing."

Benny freezes, their hand outstretched to give Gordon a packet of plastic silverware, which they quickly rescind.

"You gotta butter me up first, okay? It's, uh, thir—fifteen Benny—BenreyCoins™ and compliments are three a piece unless they suck. So. Say something nice about me maybe."

They have to lower the amount from thirty, uncertain if Gordon can even manage to come up with ten compliments. No way there's ten things worth complimenting about them. He couldn't even manage one when BenreyCoins™ were a real thing they were doing.

He doesn't hesitate, like he's been waiting for the chance to say these things all day.

"I love you, Benrey," he says. "Because… because you're you—shit, that's not—You're amazing. You're probably the funniest person I've ever met. Your voice is beautiful, your singing has almost made me cry, you're so fucking smart. Every form you take is breathtaking. And you're so strong, after all that shit Black Mesa did to you, you're still so kind and full of love. It's—It's amazing, seriously. You're amazing. The way you are, you're so energetic, and… it, it makes everything, this whole shitty situation, feel so much lighter, just seeing you get so excited. Oh! Also, when you eat something you like, your eyes do this sparkly thing. I wanna kiss you every time I see it."

As he speaks, Benny counts each compliment on their fingers, getting to ten and having to start over to keep counting. Somewhere around the fourth one, Benrey feels their insecurities begin to shatter like glass, left breathless when he surpasses ten. Were they… wrong to think he doesn't love them anymore? That since they've left their little bubble of romance, he's learned how rotten they really are? The way he talks about them makes them sound like… like the person they've always wanted to be.

Why does he have to be so sweet about this? He couldn't even include a "nice cock" comment so they could laugh and pretend they're not melting on the inside.

"Shit, I lost count," Gordon says. Benrey glances briefly to Benny, realizing, in that moment, that he hasn't looked at them even once. "But I can come up with more if you need… Oh! I also got the ice cream machine working over at the McDonalds back there. I can make you a McFlurry as soon as the ice cream's cold enough."

Benrey stands there staring at him, unable to comprehend his kindness when he was so mean to them earlier. How he's changed on a dime, but—so have they, right? They were mean to him earlier, and that's not how they feel anymore. That's just how people work, they get mad and snap at each other, it's not the end of the world, even if it felt that way at the time. Gordon's thinking of them, of how to make them happy, of how wonderful he finds them despite how nastythey can be, of what new things he can share with them even when they're being a shit.

It's so hard not to cry. Though they don't show an ounce of emotion outwardly, they can feel themself getting choked up, sweet voice burning the back of their throat. Turning to Benny, they let it out, a burst of red and pink bubbles popping out of them all at once. As if none of that even happened, they casually ask Benny, "How many was that?" Benny gestures the number twelve at them. "Uh, what's that at three points?"

It's Gordon they have to seek the answer to that from, both aliens turning to look at him. It takes him a second to realize he's being addressed, another few seconds to parse the question, and then, "Uh, thirty-six."

"Wow," Benrey says, sounding super unimpressed despite actually being extremely impressed. "So, uh, what are you gonna spend that on?"

"Well… the cinnamon buns were fifteen, right?" Gordon says, the tense line of his shoulders beginning to relax. "So that leaves me twenty-one coins to spend. How, uh… how much is a kiss?"

"Um…" That's something Benrey never accounted for on their list. The shop, as it were, only sold stuff like favors and letting Gordon buy their silence, though he never even tried to ask for that one. A kiss… warmth blossoms across Benrey's cheeks, their eyes darting around the food court. "Uh, three. Each."

"So I can buy seven of them, then? Hmm… I think I'll go ahead and cash that in."

"Uh… 'kay. Kaching I guess."

Benrey climbs into his lap, fitting themself in the shitty little food court chair with him, their arms wrapped around his neck. As he cranes his neck up to look at them, there's a fond smile on his face, lighting up his expression to show his sincerity. It's a big improvement. They take a moment just to look at him before leaning in to kiss him, not bothering to count as they capture his warm, plush lips again and again. Each one floods them with a healing warmth, pushing away all the conflict from the day like it happened decades ago, old news, unimportant.

"I love you," they profess. "But what about my cock, though?" Those words startle a wheezing laugh out of Gordon right away. "Bro, come on. Rating out of ten? I complimented yours and you can't even compliment mine? Kinda fucked up, like you don't wanna get laid in the Bed Bath and Breakfast."

With a laugh, Gordon leans in by their ear to say, "Which one? Like 'em both, ten out of ten, would suck and get fucked by them again."

A low purr rumbles up out of Benrey's throat, turning their head so they can press a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "You haven't sucked or gotten fucked by one of them… spoilerssss," they whisper into his skin, grinning as they pull away, climbing out of his lap and finding a seat of their own. Though not before seeing the look on his face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed red. 

Benny doesn’t seem to have noticed, noisily chowing down on nuggets on their side of the table. Having them around watching is a lot different now that they're an individual or whatever. But they don't have to think about that too much, because Gordon starts pulling out sauce packets like some kind of sauce wizard.

"I, uh, got these, too," Gordon tells them. "Dunno if you have any preferences so I grabbed a little of everything."

"Yessss, fuck yeah," Benrey dryly cheers, snatching up some of the sweet and sour sauce packets and placing them by their tray. Pulling the plastic forks out of their pockets, they toss one to Gordon. "Fifty points of whatever idk. Merry Crimmus." They pull one of the dessert boxes over as well, opening it to release more of that sweet cinnamon smell into the air. "Ohhhh my god that smells so good I could fuck it."

Gordon makes a choked noise, poorly stifling his laughter. "Please don't American Pie that poor cinnamon bun." 

Despite how good it smells, Benrey still decides to start with the fries, dunking them in their sauce and stuffing them in their mouth with a delighted sound. As they do, Benny looks through the various sauce options, waiting until they've swallowed to start tasting each one individually—by putting the whole packet in their mouth and chewing. Benrey doesn't even blink, more focused on getting to eat some fresh, McDonald's fries, while Gordon parts his lips as if to speak before apparently thinking better of it.

"Bro, these are way better fresh," Benrey says. "The tram takes SOOOO long they'd always be cold when I got them, and microwave fries are sucks, bro." They used to smother them in sauce to make them more tolerable—or more exciting, since the food started to taste… well, it didn't taste after awhile, and they didn't really want to eat very much. Which was really awful, since eating is so much fun.

"Man, that might be the saddest thing you've told me so far," Gordon says. "McDonald's fries are the worst cold. Literally, we compared back in college. Went to probably like five different fast food joints and everyone agreed, cold McDonalds fries were the worst."

As he finishes speaking, he makes an attempt to snag a few chicken nuggets off the tray, only for Benny to growl and bat at his hand like a feral cat. He snorts another laugh, relinquishing the nuggets to them. Benrey doesn't bother with that, either—they're more into burgers.

"It's soooo tragic," Benrey says, licking the salt from their fingers. "Microwave reheat is, worst. I'm livin la vida loca right now bro, it's awesome. McDonalds is fucking dope as hell but—never had anything else so idk."

"I found a bunch more stuff back there," Gordon informs them. "Patties and nuggets. They're frozen, though, so we gotta wait for them to thaw out for you and Benny to eat later."

"Dope," Benrey says. "We got the, uh—LTB? Lettuce, Tomato, uh… Bisexual?"

Gordon laughs, reaching for a cinnamon bun. The buns are still nice and toasty warm, steam drifting off of them as he lifts off the lid to one of the boxes. Despite having received silverware from Benrey, he grabs the thing with his hands like a fucking animal and starts tearing off the outer layers to get to the innermost piece.

"Brutal," Benrey says. "Savage. Barbaric, even. Better not touch me with those, sticky glaze hands. Divorce." This is delivered too dryly to come across as a joke, because even though they want to keep the mood light, they're very serious. They'll run right out of here if he tries any shit. Luckily, he doesn't, merely laughing before continuing to eat his pastry.

As for them, they go so far as to hold their fork with the cheap napkin it's packaged with just to double ensure nothing ends up on their hands. Cutting off a chunk that hopefully won't get the glaze on their lips or face either, they stuff it inside their mouth, melting instantly. Gooey, soft, warm, holy shit the world is different out here. They go for another bite before they've even swallowed, finishing the whole thing off at a pace that rivals Benny's decimation of the chicken nuggets.

Having watched them eat, Benny timidly reaches for a bun of their own. The scent wafts right into their face and their eyes dilate, copying Benrey's extraction method to pluck one out, before methodically cutting off a piece of the bun to stuff inside their mouth. As they chew, their eyes grow big and dilated, pink sweet voice slipping out of their mouth every now and then. Benrey doesn't even notice, too busy eating and staring at Gordon.

"I only checked out the McDonalds kitchen," Gordon says, "But there's a bunch more places to try out. Like… oh, they have a KFC over there, we gotta get some fried chicken and… right, you ever had an actual coolatta? They're fucking disgusting but you gotta try one."

While speaking, he gestures to each booth, as two sets of eyes follow along. Benrey's gaze in particular lingers on the Dunkin' Donuts. The honest answer is that they have had a coolatta before, in just about every flavor because Tommy's brought them into work many times before. They were a little melted, though. Stupid fifteen minute tram ride, dumb.

Thinking about that, and the man the name belongs to, has them all wistful. And thirsty for a strawberry coolatta.

"So why do you think they ran off?" Gordon suddenly asks. Benrey stares at him, at a total loss for what the hell he's talking about. "I've never seen them run from anything, not even you."

"Huh?" Benrey lazily blurts. What is talking about… oh. Blinking owlishly over at him, they think back on what happened at this very food court only an hour earlier. It hadn't been a very good moment for them, but there's no way they could've missed the strange phenomenon that went down with the headcrabs.

It doesn't make sense to them either. Even when they were right next to Gordon, the headcrabs had a tendency to go for him anyway. They'd been doing it on their walk to the food court, why had it changed?

"No clue," Benrey admits, licking the remnants of their finished cinnamon bun off their spoon. Seeing nothing else to talk about as far as that goes, they look back at the Dunkin' Donuts, then at Gordon. "Hey can we make a coolatta I'm full of gay whimsies and I'll die otherwise. Please?"

Gordon laughs. "Yeah, I bet you're in the mood for a Coolatta," he teases, punctuating his statement with an exaggerated wink.

Benrey averts their gaze, heat rising to their face as their mind begins to wonder. The last time they'd been with Tommy like that was several months ago, and nothing about it really stood out at the time. Now, thinking over the way he'd held them like something precious makes their body burn, a tingle going up the back of their neck.

"Uh… hahehahheh—Yeah," Benrey admits. They look back over at the Dunkin' Donuts. Several months is a really long dry spell between the two of them. They weren't exactly fucking like rabbits but Benrey remembered crawling back to him pretty often, to be held tenderly as opposed to the rough treatment they got everywhere else. He made them feel soft, and normal. Loved for every part of them, even the parts that were objectively awful.

Their chest aches thinking about him now, even worse as they wonder, why had they been apart so long? Was it them, did they accidentally toss him by the wayside? For someone with an internal clock, they're very good at letting time pass them by. Maybe they'd been in a funk. Maybe he'd been busy. They're not sure yet they feel guilty, even worse for the fact they didn't even go to his birthday party. They sent—They sent…

Benny. Looking over to the alien now, Benrey observes the way they daintily pick at their dessert the same way Benrey does. It's not fair that Benny got to be there in person, even if Benrey got to watch through their eyes. But no one acknowledged them when they were like that. Not like they could speak anyway. Just would've been nice to tell Tommy Happy Birthday and get to eat some of the pizza. Dance with everyone else. Sure, Benny didn't get to do any of that, they just kinda hung around watching so Benrey could look, only interacting when Benrey urged them to, but it's still… unfair.

They should have risked it, at least popped in for a minute, and given him a big hug. But they'd been too busy thinking about Gordon, so fixated on Gordon…

"Wish he was here," Benrey blurts. They lay their head down on the table, reaching for Gordon's hand before deciding better of it and placing their hand on his shoulder instead, stroking his beard and braid. "Miss him…"

"Me too, bud," Gordon says, with a sigh, he sinks down in his chair enough to give Benrey better access to his hair. "He's so fucking smart. I mean, when we escaped I mostly ran around freaking out, but he was so much calmer, coming up with theories and actually listening. I didn't lie when I said I only trusted him to be the leader, he'd probably have made a better leader in the first place."

A small smile tugs at Benrey's lips as Gordon. They wonder how the dynamic would change if Tommy was here, if things would have gone differently. They can't help but feel like Gordon would have been more stable with Tommy around. The man probably would have talked some sense into Benrey, never had the talk about death before. To be fair, Tommy probably didn't think he had to, which seems to be common knowledge to everyone except Benrey.

"You've known him way longer than me," Gordon says. "What's your favorite thing about him? And don't say his cock."

Their favorite thing? There's so many things to love about him, but after some thought, they realize a lot of it boils down to one thing.

"Heart," Benrey says, watching their fingers comb through Gordon's hair. "Was nice to me when no one else was. Did everything for me. Kept doing that, 'til I gave him no choice, I guess. He's also, says the weirdest shit and he gets my weird shit and I guess I just, uh. Feel like he gets me. Like we're the same. But he's me if I was really really nice and smart and…" likable, loveable, loved, "…All that shit."

Gordon smiles. "See, I knew you could say nice things without involving someone's dick."

"Aww, but his cock is sooooo cute you should see it," Benrey purrs. "Tastes real good too wrigglin' around in my mouthhhh, like a lemon candy." They lick their lips, able to recall the taste exactly. Sure made lemon candy an experience for them after that.

The look on Gordon's face slowly shifts from a warm smile to a confused frown. "Wait, hold—hold on. Wriggling?" Benrey watches his gaze grow distant, the gears turning in his eyes. "Is—Is Tommy not human?!"

"Um… yeah?" Benrey says, like it's obvious. "Bro are you. Are you just figuring this out?"

"I'm not super observant, okay?" Gordon says, throwing his hands up. "You don't go around assuming your friends and coworkers are aliens and clones or whatever."

"I mean I do but okay," Benrey mumbles. "He's like uhhhh. We don't know but he told me, puberty was real weird and then he saw this movie that was like, 'how do you know you don't gots superpowers if you've never TRIED' and he did and he does but it's hard apparently. Could always… could smell it on him. Wanted to trust, 'cuz of that."

They'd stared at him through the glass endlessly, tracking him everywhere he went so long as he was close enough for their eyes to pick up. They were so tired, they usually didn't look at anything, letting their eyes glaze over—but not when Tommy was around.

Gordon’s eyes grow distant again and Benrey patiently waits for whatever it is his little brain is freaking out over this time around. "Is that why he was so good at shooting?" he asks. "And the whole thing with soda making him see faster?"

"Yeah he got time powers but they're hard to use apparently," Benrey answers, pausing to eat some more cinnamon bun. "He's got human in him too so it's not natural, that's what he said. But the caffeine helps him focus or something. Gets a lotta shit done real fast, target lock on, et cetera. And we don't… uhhh like we're not weak babies, Tommy's strong as hell dude, no recoil, rapid fire. Heard, using a gun's like hard or something, for humans. Couldn't be me."

Squeezing the trigger isn't something they even need to do, it's way easier than that, and recoil has never affected them. It does a little bit for Tommy but it's hardly an issue, the man still rapid fires a pistol like it's a water gun. It's kinda hot. (Really hot.) The look on Gordon’s face tells them he probably feels the same.

"Wanna get that coolatta?" he asks.

"Yes please." The food's been eaten by now, save for about half a box of cinnamon buns that Benny takes back to the heated displays at the Cinnabon for later. Benrey disregards that, stretching out their back before heading to the Dunkin' Donuts with Gordon.

While he does his thing, Benrey hangs out on the other side of the counter, pretending to be a customer and asking for a "Strawberry coolatta please, thank youuuuuuu" before clipping some money out of the registrar and "paying" for it. As they're working through their "transaction", Benny rushes over to join, glancing at the drink before pointing at the menu, requesting their own coolatta in blue raspberry. Benrey watches them with the look of an older sibling annoyed by the younger one—especially when the look Gordon gives Benny is so warm, chuckling at their enthusiasm as he gets the two of them some drinks. Like, they're not that cute. Calm down a lil', maybe.

Gordon informs them that he doesn’t have any experience with making Dunkin' Donuts drinks, "So don’t expect anything spectacular." This is followed by a period of clangs, muttering, some colorful swear words, and eventually the whirring of machinery that has the two aliens covering their ears. Finally he returns to the counter, a splatter of blue droplets on his cheek, carrying two drinks with him. He sets them both on the counter an exaggerated customer service smile and a, "Thank you sir, have a nice day."

Benrey smiles around the straw to their coolatta. Gordon's such a dork, they're happy he decided to play along with their dumb little customer joke. As the drink washes over their tongue, they wonder why he claims they're so nasty. They enjoy the taste quite a lot. Maybe it's a human thing. Benny seems to be sucking theirs down at lightspeed, and Tommy loves them enough to call himself that, so.

With their drinks in hand, Benrey glances around at the mall around them. "What now?" There's a whole mall ahead of them and a lot to see, and while Benrey knows where they wanna go, now they're stuck with Benny, who's apparently too good to step into a Hot Topic. What're they gonna wanna do? Go shop at the GAP?

"Well, for starters," Gordon says, "We gotta get Benny out of their dirty clothes. Right, Benny?"

The urge to mockingly repeat him is strong, but Benrey manages to hold their tongue, casting a bored look Benny's way. Isn't this clothes thing over? Though, they should've suspected something was up when Benny showed up dressed in Benrey's clothes still. Whatever. Benny nods at Gordon, pointing to a nearby shop. For once, Benrey doesn't want to gnaw off their own arm at the thought of going inside, considering Spencer's is a pretty cool place, actually.

Gordon says something encouraging that Benrey tunes out, picking up all the shopping bags that've been sitting around and carrying them off inside the shop alongside the two aliens. Once inside, Benrey gets distracted looking around right away, checking out some of the pride pins on display, ignoring Benny as they wander in search of something.

Picking up some pins with various pride flags on them, they turn to show them to Gordon only to find him preoccupied with Benny. Annoyance has their shoulders sagging and eyes narrowing, but they don't say anything, instead beginning to stuff their backpack with a bunch of their favorite pins, including the ones that don't apply to them. Might be a fun gift when they get to the safehouse. They remember one of the old dudes being trans and they think the other one was kinda gender, but they don't remember the details super well. They still forget which one was Dr. Coomer.

Though they'd love to stick a little rainbow and some yellow-white-purple-black on their sweater, they hold off for now. Even if Gordon's ignoring them to go fawn over Benny again, they still want his attention when they do stuff with these. Make it an activity. He can pick out the ones he wants and it'll be like gay bonding. Maybe that'll get him to forgive them for the "gay jokes" he had such a problem with in the beginning.

"Benrey, can you come over here?" Gordon calls, distracting them away from the shop's various wares. Which sucks 'cuz this one's got totally different stuff from the only other one they've been to, and they don't exactly get to go shopping very often.

It's fine, though, because Gordon wants them for something and they'll gladly abandon whatever they're doing if it means they get to spend time with him. When they approach him, he's standing towards the back, where there's a small dressing room tucked away. The shopping bags are nowhere to be seen, but Benny's standing with one foot inside the dressing room, so the bags are probably in there. That makes it easy to figure out what's going on—and Benrey doesn't know why they should care.

Though, as that sinking feeling of total boredom hits them, so, too, does a wave of guilt. Why are they being such a downer over Benny? It's cool that their skeletons are people, that they're getting to meet a new member of their own species. But… that also means there's someone else for Gordon to pay attention to. Someone nicer and cuter than they'll ever be.

Still, they don't say anything smarmy as they gather around for the fashion show. They listen as Gordon explains how Benny wanted the both of them around to see them in their new clothes, which is… god, yeah, of course they're so sweet that they wanted to involve Benrey, too. Getting mad at them is like trying to get mad at a kitten for being too cute and fluffy. The guilt builds a little higher, then, but Benrey keeps it hidden, instead finding a counter to sit on as they watch the show.

It takes a solid minute or so for Benny to reappear, much slower than the montages they're used to seeing on TV. While they wait, Gordon moves to stand between their knees, leaning back against the counter where they can put their arms around his neck. It feels like it's been too long since they held him, despite it not having been very long at all; they've had sex twice today, in fact, and it's not even noon yet. Still, the thought has them growing clingy, tightening their hold and nuzzling him, his beard scratching against their cheek.

That's when Benny peeks out through the curtain, looking their way before darting back inside. "Hey, it's okay," Gordon calls out. "Come on out, bud. We're all curious to see what you look like, right, Benrey?"

No. "Yeah," they lie. "Come on, show us the goods!"

Benrey's convinced this is going to be a huge disappointment, that this fashion show will just reveal that Benny dresses in jeans and t-shirts in neutral tones—which would be fine, really, they're just clothes and no one needs to be unique and interesting in how they dress. If that's what Benny likes, it's completely fine.

But Benrey's always longed for a friend who's just like them. There's always something that's missing—Tommy doesn't share their dark sense of aesthetics, nor does he enjoy horror movies and games. Gordon doesn't dress like them, either, and… well, there's no need to talk about the other guy. It's negligible, really, it is, but. So maybe they've always wanted to belong to a group who all dress the same, like a clique of hot goths calling tomato juice "blood" and sharing their black lipstick and fishnets or whatever.

Bit of a juvenile dream, they're too old to want that, but it's not like they even knew what fashion was when they were sixteen. They barely remember being sixteen.

Yet, when Benny walks out of the dressing room with some support from the both of them, Benrey quickly realizes their fears were unfounded. Most of Benny's outfit is black, save for the oversized blue plaid jacket they're wearing. There's an aquamarine pendant around their neck, too, contrasting the black turtleneck tucked into a pair of dark gray jeans, which are in turn tucked into a pair of black lace-up boots.

It hits Benrey like a bat to the face—Benny's a hipster. An edgy one, but there's no denying the oversized jacket, crystal necklace, Doc Martens and tucked-in shirt.

And it fits them so well. Cute, stylish, subtle… though it doesn't feel quite right. Benrey can't put their finger on it, but it feels like they're looking at something yet unrefined, a project stuck in pre-alpha. Given Benny hasn't even grown any skin on their face yet, that's not exactly a weird thing to say. They're still growing. Even their tastes have yet to fully mature. Benrey doesn't know why they think this, but maybe it has something to do with how uncertain Benny looks as they catch their own reflection in the mirror.

Gordon doesn't appear to catch onto this, though. Instead, he heads over to reassure them, leaving Benrey's embrace without a word of warning to leave them all alone without any Gordon cuddles. Knowing why has them feel even worse. It's not like Benny needs Life Alert or anything, he could praise them from over here, too.

"There you are…" Gordon speaks almost reverently as he approaches them, staring up at him with their big blue eyes partially obscured by their hair. Then, out of nowhere, he scoops Benny up in a hug, a choked noise escaping Benrey at the sight. "Look at you," Gordon mumbles into their hair. "It really suits you." 

The alien melts into his embrace, their big, round eyes falling shut until their face is nothing but a dark void. An ashen, purple-gray hand comes up to rest along the back of his jacket, returning the embrace.

It makes Benrey wanna scream.

As the two of them part, their faces linger a little too close, Benny's eyes straying to the line of Gordon's plush lips before he takes a step back. Turning back towards Benrey, he calls, "Look at them! Don't they look amazing?"

Though Benrey honestly doesn't much care for it, it doesn't stop them from pushing up off the counter and saying, "Yooooo, you look cute as hell." A stream of pink sweet voice pours out of Benny's mouth in a gentle trill. Pointedly looking up and down their body, Benrey says, "Who did this? You did this?" Benny eagerly nods. "Nice."

Stepping past Gordon in an eager little trot, Benny comes to stand before Benrey, the latter alien growing slightly tense, unsure what's about to happen. That's when Benny drops to their knees, and Benrey jolts, their lower back hitting the counter behind them.

"WHOA hey hello hi?" they exclaim, glancing helplessly to Gordon, who looks just as alarmed as they do. "Uh?"

"B-Benny, I don't think—"

Benny pulls a series of chains out of their jacket pocket, which they attach to Benrey's belt, the chains looping three times with the bottom loop having a heart shaped ring attached. It rests over Benrey's right thigh, and after Benny gets back up, they lift up the left side of their jacket, revealing the identical chains hanging from their two hole belt. It takes a moment of Benrey staring in shock, heat rising to their face for them to fully comprehend what just happened. Meanwhile, Benny just stands there, their hands clasped up by their chin.

"Whoa… did we just get married?" Benrey says. "I mean, 'I do', I guess."

Though obviously a joke, a flood of pink comes out of Benny's mouth anyway, leaving Benrey at a loss for how to feel. This whole, skeleton into sentient person thing is all happening very fast and it's tough for them to get their bearings. An issue Gordon and Benny themself don't appear to be struggling with at all.

Suddenly, Gordon's there to sweep the both of them up in his arms, pressing a kiss to Benny's head before placing another to Benrey's. "You two are the cutest," he says, as Benny melts into his embrace, their hands nesting into his shirt and jacket. Benrey just stands there, feeling even more at a loss.

Chapter Text

Crisis averted, it seems. Gordon's unsure what exactly's changed between Benny and Benrey, but whatever it is, it has them getting along much better. It's so sweet to see the way Benny cares for Benrey, seeking out their affection and doing little favors to get it. And if there's anyone who deserves more affection, it's Benrey. Now they have two people to show them they're loved and cared for. 

"So," he says, once he's released them both from his bear hug, looking to Benny as he says, "Why don't we go and put Benny's stuff away at the Bed Bath & Beyond for now. Then, tonight we can build that fort we talked about, sleep there until tomorrow. Sound good?"

His proposition gets an enthusiastic nod from Benny, though Benrey doesn't look any sort of way. Not that that's unusual for them, they seldom emote unless they're especially excited, or really pissed off. Gordon doesn't pay that much mind as he starts to gather up the many bags containing Benny's new wardrobe.

"Uh, yeah, that's cool," Benrey says, their tone flat and bored as always. "I'll just, uh… go wild out, y'know. S'big party out there."

Oh. He'd thought they'd come along, help them scope out a good bed to build the fort in. But it makes sense, really. Benrey hasn't had a lot of time to themself since this trip started, and they clearly have a lot of ideas for what they wanna do. Things they can probably actually enjoy now that there's no tension between them anymore. He doubts they got much done with all the fighting going on earlier.

"Sure, go ahead," he says, giving them what he hopes is an encouraging smile. "We'll join up with you once we've gotten all this stashed away." He holds up the bags for emphasis.

"Dope," Benrey says. Though they don't move at all for several seconds, an awkward silence dragging on between them as Gordon continues to smile. That's when Benny raises their hand in a tiny wave, which Benrey glances at before promptly turning on their heel and walking away, looking like a video game NPC suddenly changing their pathing. The lack of response has Benny sagging, but Gordon gives them a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Gotta give them some time, bud," he tells them, sliding the bags up along his arm so his hand is free to hold theirs. "Worked for me, didn't it?" Luckily, his words seem to put some pep in their step, perking up before they follow him out of the store.

The Bed Bath & Beyond isn't far, the inside of it looking no worse for wear. There's a few knocked over displays, some pillows strewn onto the floor, but no blood or viscera, something Gordon is endlessly thankful for. It takes some time to get through the mess, though, as Benny keeps getting distracted. A short attention span is something Gordon's very used to with Benrey, though with Benny, it's more that they can't seem to stop themself from trying to clean up.

He watches them pick some pillows up off the floor, looking around with a lost expression on their face before spotting a bed to place them on. But that doesn't seem enough, and they spend a good while arranging the pillows to their liking. Gordon offers to help but this is met with a protesting beep of sweet voice, so he quickly backs up. 

"I'll leave it to you, then."

Once they're done with their tidying, they wander the store, staring at all the wares. Gordon obliges them, finding a bed to set the bags beside before going to check out what they're looking at. There's a display of fairy lights that've caught their interest, the little lights reflecting in their eyes as they stare up at them in rapt fascination. Gordon smiles warmly at the sight, stepping up to place his hand on their shoulder. 

"You like them?" he asks as they turn to look down at his hand, then up at him. They look back at the lights, their hands clasped in front of their chest, thumbs rubbing together. "It's okay if you do. They'd work pretty well with the fort, make it look nice and cozy. I think Benrey'd really like them, too."

While Gordon can't understand the aria of sweet voice that follows, he'd guess based on the soothing melody that it's something good. He watches them give a decisive nod before reaching towards the boxes of lights on the stand. They're about to pick one up when they suddenly stop, fingers inching towards a different one, pausing, then going for a different one. This indecisiveness paralyzes them, before they return their hands to their chest and look up at Gordon with huge, pleading eyes.

"You want me to pick one?" he asks. They give a quick nod, so he starts looking through the selection. Most of them are pretty basic Christmas lights, but some have thicker bulbs that remind him of those cute aesthetic photos on Pinterest. Looking at Benny again, he gets the feeling they might enjoy something like that. They've got an art student vibe going on. As he goes to pick up that one, he watches Benny brighten. "What do you think? This a good pick?"

They give an eager nod, and he can't help but laugh, reaching out to pet the top of their head without thinking before he tucks the little box under his arm.

He lets Benny explore some more after that, closely observing what they gravitate towards the most. There's a lot of hesitation, but he can see by what they take the most time staring at and touching, or contemplating touching, that they've got a pretty clear interest in things that are small and soft. A little decorative red velvet heart and a plastic hyacinth flower with yellow petals catch their eye for quite a while. Though, when Gordon informs them they can have them if they want them, they get embarrassed and shake their head, wandering off to look at something else. Dismissing it as a quirk of theirs, Gordon shrugs it off, too.

What really catches Benny's interest, though, is a shelf full of plush animals. Gordon catches them standing before it with big eyes, pupils eclipsing the blue of their iris. He'd stepped away to look for some supplies, arriving just in time to see them picking up a plush rabbit, flopping its head and long ears from side to side in curiosity before they notice Gordon nearby, jumping at the sight of him and clutching the plush to their chest. He holds up his hands.

"No, no, it's okay," he assures them, as Benny angles their body around the plush. "Do you want the plush?"

Benny buries their mouth in the rabbit's head before giving a tiny nod.

"Keep it, it's not a big deal," Gordon says. "Grab whichever ones you want. Although, it—you should leave them with your clothes for now, okay? That way they won't get dirty or lost."

It's Gordon's inner dad coming out to play, he knows that. And it works. Benny doesn't leave the plush behind like they did before, nor do they blow any raspberries like Benrey probably would've done. Instead, they take the time to browse through the shelves for two others, which they bring over to the bed they arranged all the pillows on, spending a good while arranging the three plushies to lean against each other. Once they've finished, they stand back to reveal a cat and dog plush leaning on the rabbit plush in the middle. With that done, Benny clasps their hands again, staring at the arrangement for a minute or so before moving on.

Finally, Gordon manages to steer Benny out of the shop before they can tidy anything else. While he does want to indulge them and let them explore their newfound individuality, he also doesn't want to be away from Benrey for too long. There's been enough of that already. He came here for an adventure with Benrey at his side, not for them to wander the place all alone.

Thanks to Benny's minimap, it's easy to locate them again. They're perched atop the sign to a kiosk with a remote control in their hands. A buzzing noise draws Gordon's attention to where there's a drone flying past overhead. The kiosk below them is full of similar devices, but packaged away inside boxes, with one of those boxes now lying open on the floor, packaging strewn about everywhere. Benny's eyes narrow at this.

"Yooooo whaddup," Benrey says without looking away from the drone they're toying with. "You guys done sucking each other off?"

Gordon lets out a humored scoff. "I should wash your mouth with soap for saying stuff like that," he calls out. "Now get down here and gimme a hug, you gremlin."

A blink of the eye later and Benrey is on the ground floor, setting the remote down on the counter before latching onto Gordon's front with nearly enough force to send him toppling to the ground, if not for the way he remains held up by Benrey's strong arms. He lets out an exuberant laugh, returning the hug once he's found his balance.

"Missed you, too, you little weirdo," Gordon fondly says, kissing the top of their head. "Whatcha got there?"

"Huh? Drone," they explain, lifting their head and pointing over towards the remote they just set down. The drone's still hovering in the air nearby.

The kiosk itself sells more than just that, though, from the looks of it. There's more boxes that have been torn into, and Gordon can only assume the contents are stuffed inside Benrey's coffin-shaped backpack, which he finds on one of the counters nearby. Benny picks up one such box containing a camcorder, looking back to Gordon with it in their hands and pointing at it.

"Go ahead bud," he tells them, as Benny gives a small nod before carefully slicing the box open. As they do, Gordon lets his gaze travel over the pile of remote controlled toys, an idea forming in his head. "Hey, Benrey. You wanna have a sky battle?"

This is exactly why he wanted to come here in the first place. Drones are the kind of frivolous thing he could never afford, especially not with the sole intent of crashing it into another drone. But here and now, the rules of capitalism do not apply.

"Hell yeah," Benrey responds with a toothy grin, picking their controller back up. They slap Gordon on the ass before vanishing and reappearing back on top of the sign. "Let's commit some PROPERTY DAMAGE, bro."

"Oh, you're on," Gordon says. It only takes him a few minutes to get his drone up and running, steering it until it's on the far end of the room. "Fly yours over to the other side, on the count of three we'll charge at each other. First one to hit the floor looses. Deal?"

"Yuh," Benrey says.

"Alright. Three, two, one… GO!"

Thus begins their aerial combat, the air buzzing like it's filled with angry bees. The two drones maneuver around each other, swerving and dipping on their way to sending the other to its eventual doom. Gordon's about to get the upperhand with suddenly, a bright white flash washes everything away, and once he's managed to clear his vision, his drone is crashed on the ground, blades dented and body shattered into several tiny pieces.

"YEAH!" Benrey's cheering, their cackle echoing throughout the mall. With one hand gripping the sign they're perched on, they lean as far forward as possible to high five Benny, who looks surprised to be offered such a thing, green flowing out of their mouth as they do so. There's a digital camera in their hand, explaining the flash Gordon just saw.

"Betrayal! I can’t believe you've done this," he says, placing a hand over his heart. Though Benny looks apologetic, hiding their mouth behind the camera, Benrey just cackles at the top of their lungs.

Gordon hates to lose, this is a fact. There's a sour taste in his mouth from his defeat, but as he watches the two aliens celebrate their victory, all he can manage to feel is a warmth in his chest. Benrey's draped over the sign now, kicking their legs while Benny plays with their new camera, going over to take a photo of the broken drone before tucking the camera into their bag and picking up the camcorder instead. They aim it at Benrey and Gordon, green recording light on.

"Alright, winner decides what we do next," Gordon announces. Even if it's always been a fantasy of his to play with drones, it was still his idea to have a drone battle, so he'll let Benrey pick the next activity.

"Let's… uh…" Benrey starts, pausing to think about it. As they do, Gordon watches them look around, the gears turning in their eyes. That's when they start pointing towards the entrance. "Yo, they prob'ly got super soakers at that store over there. Gear up, start at the fountain, final destination no items."

"Hey, that's not a bad—" Gordon barely gets the words out before Benrey's teleported down, chucked the remote aside, and started dragging him off by the hand. He lets out a startled laugh before matching their excited pace.

The toy store in question isn't far from one of the entrances, with puzzle-piece flooring in rainbow colors. While some of the stores are in mild disarray, this one is completely untouched, shelves stocked full of all kinds of toys with a little play area in one corner. One half is full of plush toys, from bears to dogs to some less common animals, while the rest is primarily boxed up toys; legos, Play-Doh, and the like.

The two aliens can't help but look around with curiosity, super soakers momentarily forgotten. Benny hovers close at Benrey's back, staring at everything they do, while Benrey keeps picking things up to ask Gordon what the fuck they are.

"That's a Transformer," Gordon explains as Benrey holds up a box in front of him. "That's a hula hoop, you sort of—Oh, uh…" Gordon doesn't even have the chance to explain before Benrey holds up a new colorful item before him. "I have no idea what that is to be honest. Some kind of puzzle?"

Eventually the QnA ends, and Benrey runs off to look for water guns. While they're at it, Gordon spots the play area, his eyes falling on the plushies lined up on a shelf. One in particular catches his attention. With Benny in tow, he walks over to pick it up, a soft smile on his face.

"Can you give me a second, Benny?" he asks them. They lift their head up from a shelf with a plush penguin on it to look back at him. "I want to give this to Benrey real quick." 

Benny gives him a thumbs up, so he leaves them to browse while tracking down his boyfriend. He finds them in an aisle with shelf upon shelf filled with water guns. They're muttering to themself, picking up one box just to put it back and stare intensely at another. Gordon approaches them then, gently calling out to get their attention.

"Hey, Benrey. I, uh… I have something—It's nothing big, but I saw it, and I, uh…" Why he's suddenly so nervous is lost on him, but he finds himself stumbling through an explanation as Benrey watches him with big, curious eyes. Finally, he gives up on explaining, presenting Benrey with their gift: a very soft and round plush seal.

Their eyes go almost as big and dark as the buttons on the plush, turning their body more fully towards him. A single teal bubble escapes them, promptly followed by a flood of pink. A big, goofy smile spreads across Gordon's face as he watches them reach out to gingerly accept the plush. He watches as Benrey rubs their face against the white faux fur, much like Benny had with all their clothes. He makes a mental note to touch the both of their cheeks more regularly, they seem to like it.

Benrey tucks their face against the plush. "Thank you," they say. "I mean it's gay. You're gay," they mumble, a lot more obviously flustered that time around, pressing the plush closer against their face.

"I mean, yeah, pretty fucking gay. For you," He says with a flirtatious lilt. What he'd really like right now is to scoop them up and take them away somewhere to cuddle, kiss them until they get that dazed look in their eyes. But right now… Benrey wants a water fight, and they're gonna get one. As he turns to the wall of water guns, he says, "Doesn't mean I'll go easy on you, though."

Having played with toys like these in his childhood, he's got a bit of an unfair advantage over them. Like a marksman in an armory, he carefully selects his arsenal, starting with a massive bazooka looking thing which can hold at least half a gallon of water. Next come two basic pistols, followed by some spongy grenades attached to a bright blue bandolier, which he throws on over his shoulder. Now armed to the teeth, he turns to Benrey, who's tearing into a box for a super soaker.

"Meet me at the fountain in ten," he says in his best action hero voice.

"Hope you're prepared to lose," they taunt, grinning deviously even as he bends to give them a quick kiss before darting out of the store.

When he reaches the fountain, he sets his leather jacket aside and starts using the water to load up his super soakers, only sparing Benrey a cursory glance when they appear with Benny in tow. The blaster they've chosen reminds him of their rifle, which he knows they're quite deadly with. They've also got two handguns, but haven't elected to pick up any grenades. That should give him the upperhand.

"Okay," Benrey says, standing near the fountain with their handguns tucked into their pants pockets, the blaster held in their hands. "Rules. No going in stores. No leaving the mall. Refills okay. Whoever's more wet after… Benny do you have a timer?" They look up to where the other alien's perched atop the fountain's marble statue with their camcorder on to see them nod. "Twenty minutes is the victor. Benny will judge. Cool?"

"Got it," he says, holding his bazooka at the ready.

"Then on the count of three. Three… twoONEGO." On "go", they promptly disappear. Having been looking around for a place to hide, he's taken off guard by this, and even before when a sudden stream of cold water blasts him in the back of the head. He whips around to fire back, disregarding his plan to conserve water. The stream meets nothing but tile, though, Benrey nowhere to be seen.

"Ohhh, you wanna play dirty," he calls out. "Is that it?"

Gordon wasn't going to deploy this until later, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. Dodging behind some decorative hedges, he hastily wrangles his t-shirt off. Stepping out from the bushes, now bare chested, Gordon cries, "Yippee ki yay motherfu—!" 

A stream of water immediately blasts him in the face.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Nice try, IDIOT," Benrey taunts.

Gordon sputters, spitting out some water with a shudder before taking off his glasses and shaking his head like a dog, hair whipping out of his already loose braid. Stroking it back over his head, Gordon squints around the room as he tries to shake the water off his glasses. The droplets make it a little tricky to see properly, but he's had worse running through the pouring rain.

Unfortunately, even with his vision returned, he still can't keep up with Benrey's teleportations. A rule should have been made against this, but it's too late now. He'll just have to show them he won't lose all because they've got an unfair advantage.

A squeak of a sole rubbing over linoleum draws his attention, but he's smart enough to know Benrey's giving away their position on purpose. This is why he tries not to react to it, instead going in the opposite direction, where he dives behind a pillar and starts creeping along the wall. The bazooka gets abandoned for now, left to hang from its strap as he pulls out the two pistols. Less water capacity, but they're quicker and far more precise.

By pure luck, his eyes land on Benrey in the exact moment they teleport to his right, but before they can pull the trigger on their gun, Gordon quick draws and sprays them right in the face. This takes them completely by surprise, overdramatically whining and complaining as the water drips down their face.

"Hah! Who's the idiot now!" Gordon jeers before diving behind a pillar.

They get sloppy after that, allowing him to get in a few more hits, completely soaking through their sweater. It doesn't help that they can't seem to stop staring at his dripping wet chest, delaying their reactions. The surge of confidence this gives Gordon ends up biting him in the ass, however, as it causes him to switch back to the bazooka, making his attacks far slower. This allows Benrey to get some hits in before he dives behind a large trash can. Kneeling there panting, he tries to come up with a new strategy, only to be distracted by Benrey's taunt.

"Your little trick was REAL cute," Benrey calls out. "Mine's better though."

The wet splat of soaked fabric hitting the floor catches his attention, but he doesn't dare look just yet. Clearly they're copying his technique, but he won't get distracted by it like they have. They'll be expecting him to get thrown off, securing them the victory—so he'll use that to his advantage.

Running the image of Benrey's naked, wet torso over in his mind a few times to get used to the idea, Gordon jumps out rearing and ready to fire just to freeze completely at the sight of them.

There's a black, lacy lingerie bodysuit running up over their chest and around their neck, ribbon straps accentuating the shape of their chest and hips while criss-crossing over their muscular abdomen. Though it leaves very little covered, what it does cover paints a very tantalizing image, the straps squeezing their pectorals to lift and accentuate their shape.

While just seeing their chest glistening with water would have been enough to distract Gordon no matter what, this will be his downfall. All he can do is gape and stare openly at how the fabric caresses their body, giving him the most tantalizing peek of their nipples hidden behind the sheer fabric. He barely flinches when Benrey empties their gun into his chest, his own held loosely in his hands before clattering to the ground. The two pistols meet the same fate as he tosses them aside, striding purposely up to Benrey.

- ♡ -

A jaw drop was exactly what Benrey had anticipated—it's so perfect, so gratifying. Though emptying their blaster on his chest isn't as satisfying when he's standing perfectly still, erasing all the thrill of the chase. Confused, their eyes trail down to the ground where he's dropped the rpg, followed by a very purposeful disarming of the rest of his weapons. It hasn't been time and there's still water in both of those things—

But the way he approaches them now paints a very clear picture, a sexy sort of fear sending a spark up Benrey's spine. They take a reflexive step back, dropping their blaster to the ground with a dull, plastic clatter. A gasp escapes them as they're grabbed, that fear-anticipation mix coming back as a shiver that runs down their spine, arousal pooling low in their gut. They're hard in an instant, his lips crashing over theirs to muffle their ensuing moan, skin prickling with heat and the urge to give in, lashes fluttering, yet not closing.

They fumble blindly for the guns tucked into their pants pockets, tossing them aside in an equal display of forfeiture. Once that's done they wrap their arms around his neck, back arching into him, his bare chest pressing flush against them. The frigid bite of the water dripping down their bodies hardly matters when it's warmed by the flushed red heat emanating off Gordon's body.

A whine escapes them as his hands travel south, gripping fistfuls of their ass. They try to curl a leg around him, desperate to rut against him even through the thick fabric of their jeans, only for him to lift them entirely off the ground. They rush to wrap around him, thighs flexing with the attempt to grind on him even in this awkward position, desperate for his touch. The show of strength has that fear-anticipation surging through them again as they moan around his tongue, hungrily returning the kiss.

It's all so arousing that they don't notice where he's taking them until they feel the water splash across their body, soaking them from head to toe as Gordon tips the both of them into the fountain. They realize pretty quickly, as the cold water has their mind shooting almost violently back to reality, that there's more of their body inside the fountain than Gordon's. Which means, they just lost.

"Did you just—?! Bro, uncool!" they whine, still wrapped up in their competitive nature despite everything. Now laid flat on their back with the shallow fountain water not quite high enough to drown, they raise their hips, grinding their obvious erection into him with a low, frustrated growl as he grins victoriously down at them.

"Love and war babe, everything goes. Besides…" Benrey watches the trajectory of Gordon's hand as it travels down their body, gasping as his fingers wrap around a nipple, their hand flexing against his shoulder. "You started it, getting all dressed up like this for me. You wanted to end up beneath me, admit it." 

"Fuck," they groan, struggling to focus as Gordon keeps talking. His accusation has a thrill shooting through them. He's right—they hadn't planned this, per say, the lingerie wasn't meant to come out until tonight, and they'd wanted victory in their little cat and mouse game more than anything. But this remix of their plans suits them just fine.

A moan escapes them as he palms at their crotch, head tipping back and hips shoving forward to meet his hand. This has their eyes fluttering open to see Benny's huge, dilated eyes from where they sit atop the fountain's statue, the camera aimed Benrey's way. As Benrey makes eye contact with the camera's lens, the recording light on, they experience a sudden burst of arousal, their hips shoving forward with a renewed vigor, expression totally debauched as their mouth hangs open on an orange-tinted moan. In the next instant, Benny squeals pink to yellow, teleporting away from the fountain to run off deeper into the mall.

The shrill sound snaps Benrey out of whatever… that had been, blinking rapidly and raising their head to try and follow where they'd run off to, but they're already gone. Even Gordon looks up, finding nothing but the sweet voice they left behind. He huffs a laugh before dropping his head to lean his forehead against theirs, his laugh grounding them as their mind reels. Their cock is pulsing hard within the confines of their tight black jeans and the lacy bodysuit, much harder than it was before they spotted the camera.

"I would love to continue this," He says, his eyes raking down Benrey's body, "But I'd rather not fuck in a fountain. Come on, I know a place with a lot of towels and a nice, warm bed or two."

They don't want to get fucked in a fountain either, and though their body is aching for attention, his offer of towels and a warm bed sounds so good. They wrap their arms around his shoulders, legs around his waist.

"Carry me then," they whisper into his ear. "Since you're soooooo cool and big and strong and I'm just so weak and defenseless, got the, uh, water… poisoning. Tragic."

Gordon snorts, kissing them softly one last time before carefully getting them both up out of the fountain. It's tricky, and requires him to set them down and pick them back up bridal style so he doesn't slip on all the coins at the bottom of the fountain. "If I fall and crack my skull, none of us are getting laid today," he says, though in the end, he manages just fine, and they lavish his neck with kisses while he carries them off to their next destination.

Chapter Text

It feels like a fucking eternity before they reach their destination. Benrey can take a wild guess as to where they are, glancing around briefly at their brand new surroundings. A furniture store is another thing they have no reference point for; they're not sure what they expected, but a lineup of beds somehow wasn't it. Shrugging that off, they focus back on Gordon, clinging to him even as he sets them back onto their feet.

"Get out of those wet clothes," he mumbles against their lips. "Keep the…" He gestures towards their torso. "…Thing on though. I wanna see how it looks from the back."

Benrey doesn't even really hear his words, at first, shivering from the sound of his voice so close to his ear. All they hear is his desire to look at them, to watch them, and they flash back to that camera, shivering with want. "Mmhmm," they hum, head falling forward onto his shoulder as he grasps onto their ass again.

But these fucking pants are in the way, preventing them from getting groped and felt up the way they want to. As Gordon moves away, they immediately turn around, showing off the straps criss-crossing over their mid back. Making quick work of the belt, Benrey bends, slowly removing their pants to gradually unveil the twin ribbons curving over their hips, meeting together on their lower back, the black strap of a thong traveling down between their cheeks.

Stepping out of their pants, they don't bother putting on as much of a show with their shoes and socks, hastily kicking them off as they climb onto the bed on their knees. Feeling fully into the act, they arch their back as they run their hands over their thighs, up their waist, lightly teasing the ribbons to pull them even tighter against their skin. As they do, they stare over their shoulder at Gordon, water dripping down their body, taking in the heat in his gaze as he watches them pose for him.

"Fuck, Benrey…" he breathes. They bite their lip at the sound of his voice.

Benrey's whole body is buzzing with arousal, cock aching and writhing against the lacy material of the lingerie as they watch him get undressed. Seeing him trip out of his pants and boots has a few chuckles escaping them, unable to keep quiet when he's hopping around like such a horny loser. Though the sound stutters to a halt as his cock is finally freed.

Finally, he climbs into bed with them, and their breaths stutter in anticipation, leaning back into him as he puts his arms around them with a low groan. They lay their hands atop his, sliding up over his forearms and back down.

"You are driving me fucking insane," he growls into their ear, as they tilt their head back to nuzzle into him. "Now I'm gonna be wondering what kinda surprises you got under there every fucking day."

Benrey's hips rock eagerly back onto his cock, shivering at the outline of it against their ass. Lingerie has honestly never been their thing, but they've also never worn it, nor have they ever seen someone they care about in it. The appeal is pretty apparent now, though. The garment leaves so much of them laid bare, while keeping other parts like presents to be unwrapped.

A smirk wobbles on their lips as their breaths quicken. "Gonna Kinder Surprise you," they respond in a low, breathless voice. "Never see it coming." The lace is softer than they thought it would be, and if this is the kind of treatment they get, they'll start a collection. They've already got more stashed away for later.

"Where did you even find this?" he asks, his big, thick hands wandering over their waist.

"Went and uhhh… asked Victoria her secret…"

The room spins as Gordon turns them around and pushes them onto the bed, the soft duvet squishing beneath their body. He climbs over the top of them, and they spread their legs wide, an act that turns them on even more. Put on display like this, for Gordon to view and play with to his heart's content—they lift their hips, desperately canting upwards in search of friction. Their cock has figured out the leg holes of their bodysuit and is starting to peak out the side, the tip of their tentacle rubbing on their inner thighs.

"Please," they beg, unsure what they're even begging for, but they always want it when it's Gordon. "Please, please?"

"Don't worry, babe, I'll take good care of you," he purrs.

"Please… ohhh…" Watching him move to lay down between their legs has Benrey's cock jumping. They've thought about it, quite a lot while they were digging for lingerie, anything to pull his attention away from them, who Benrey doesn't want to think about right now. Trying different sets on had gotten them hotter than expected, playing with themself in the mirror but holding back from getting off completely. No, that's Gordon's job. But it sure built the anticipation for this real fucking high.

Luckily, he doesn't drag it out. Pushing aside their panties, he guides their wriggling tentacle to his lips, kissing the tip. It's been a while since they've felt their tentacle cock penetrate something, anything at all. Even the tease of lips against their tip as Gordon kisses them is a lot, their breaths wavering in anticipation of more.

"Fuck, you look good," Benrey groans, reaching down to stick their thumb in his mouth to hold it open wider. Their tentacle grows interested, seeking out the warmth and wetness of his mouth to couple with, a loud moan ripping out of their throat as it pushes inside. "Ahhh—! Thank you, thank youuu…"

Their hips cant forward only to be held down by Gordon's massive hands, coaxing a whine out of them. But even without the ability to push deeper inside, the feeling is fucking incredible. The heat of his mouth enveloping their cock sends bursts of pleasure through their body, every kiss of their suckers against his tongue or the inside of his cheek pure bliss.

They can't take their eyes off him, the dark, hazy look in his eyes, the thick blush spreading over his cheeks, up to his ears and down towards his chest—and the blue tentacle stuffed past his lips, where they can feel it stretching to reach as far inside his mouth as it can.

"Hhahh—Fuck, Gordon," they moan. "Feels sooooo-uhh good… Touch me, please?"

Gordon's hands move down along their thighs, raking his blunt nails down their thighs, leaving shallow marks that have them gasping, thighs trembling as they fist the bedsheets beneath them. He rubs his palms over the marks as they rapidly heal up, before he leaves more, alternating between harsh and soothing touches. While not what they had in mind, it's still incredible.

The sound of their moans and panting breaths fill the air as their tentacle fills Gordon's mouth, dipping into his throat as it explores. The way he noisily sucks and moans around them while bobbing his head is pure bliss. 

"Please, please," they're babbling, eyes rolled back as they struggle desperately to push themself deeper inside, to fuck his face with a reckless abandon, but he keeps them held steady. Not that that shit he's doing with his tongue isn't driving them mad enough already. He seems to know exactly how they like it, circling each sucker with his tongue in a way that makes them real loud. It's all urging them faster and faster towards their release. "Ahhh—Ghhhh… good… ahhh… please…!"

But that tight band of arousal doesn't get a chance to snap. Gordon pulls off, holding Benrey's hips to keep them in place as they whine and try to guide their thobbing cock back to his mouth.

"Not yet," he tells them, his voice low and raspy.

"Please, god, come on come on," Benrey begs, groaning and throwing their head back in frustration. Their tentacle frantically swishes and curls around itself in search of Gordon's mouth. 

"I'll tell you when you get to cum," Gordon says. "Now, be a good boy and lie still for me." 

A wave of desire crashes over them at his command. "Uhhh… Can be good, can be REAL good," they babble. They hold themself still as best they can, though there's nothing they can do about the tentacle still struggling to get back into the warm wet heat that is Gordon's mouth. 

As he moves to straddle their hips, it hits them what he's going to do next, their eyes wide as they let out an unsteady breath. Damn, he's really going for it all, huh? Quickly, they reach for his hips, as he pushes two of his fingers past their lips and says, "Lube these up for me."

Eagerly, Benrey sucks on the digits, tongue laving over his soft, salty skin while humming rust onto his fingertips. Some of it drips down their chin and onto their chest, the wet sound they make filling the air. The moment they start to get really lost in the sensation, he pulls his hand away, leaving them wanting.

"Not gonna fuck you right now," Gordon explains, reaching behind himself where Benrey can't clearly see what he's doing, but they have a pretty good guess.

They watch, borderline unblinking, as he fingers himself, their grip on his hips tightening. The anticipation of getting to sink inside his tight heat is unbearable—though it's probably for the best that they're getting this break to calm down.

"Wanna collect the whole set, and this is the missing piece," he says. The grin on his face reeks of trouble and they can't resist it, his beautiful green eyes sparkling as he pulls his fingers back out to grab their tentacle instead. "Gonna make you scream loud enough the whole mall hears you." 

"Oh, shit, holy shit…" He guides them towards his hole, and they whine as their tentacle grazes against him. It quickly finds his hole, eagerly pushing inside. They barely hold back from snapping their hips forward as he sinks down, taking so much more of them inside.

"F-Fuck…" he groans. "How long is this thing?"

Gordon's breaths are coming in pants, his thighs trembling against Benrey's palms as he slowly sheathes himself on their cock. It feels like the groan they let out harmonizes with his as he sits on their thighs, head tipped back and one hand placed over his stomach, as if he can feel it moving around in there. The dizzy look on his face is one Benrey studies every inch of, the urge to fuck him stupid consuming their every thought.

"Now I've fucked all of you," he proudly proclaims. His cock drools pre all over their stomach, and he gives himself a long, slow stroke, as Benrey's breath stutters. Their golden eyes are locked onto the sight of his flushed and dripping cock head as it disappears between his fingers. The grip they have on his hips grows tighter. "Unless you have another cock hid—Oh, fuck!"

He's interrupted by Benrey's strong, lithe hands pulling him up just to tug him back down onto their cock, moving slowly at first but quickly building in speed. The sight of their cock pushing inside him takes up their full attention, watching their blue slick splash against his warm brown skin with every hard, wet thrust. 

"Fffuuuuck, Benrey!" Gordon cries out. "Aahhh—So deep, fuck…! Don't think I've—t-taken anything this deep before, feels so good…"

The sound of him moaning so luxuriously draws their attention to his face, flushed red with his eyes all droopy and dazed. Gordon paints such a pretty picture, expression overcome with the pleasure Benrey's cock is giving him.

"Fuck, Gordon… so fucking pretty…" Rust drifts freely out of their mouth, their hands sliding around to grip Gordon's ass, squeezing and spreading him open. "Love you, love you love you love you—"

Incoherent moans and praise drip off Benrey's tongue, silenced by Gordon's lips crashing over theirs. They moan desperately into his mouth as their cock jerks, thrusting harder and faster, suckers tugging gently on his prostate. A tingle runs up the back of their neck, the mark throbbing on the back of their neck.

"Mmnh… gonna—gonna cum soon," Gordon pants against their lips. "Fill me up then, pump me full." 

"Fuck…" they deliriously curse against his lips, gripping his hips hard enough to bruise. "I will, I will—mmmhhh… Sound so fucking good, I love you… give you everything you want—"

"Yes… fuck, Benrey, Benrey, Benrey, Ben—"

Their stomach clenches at the sound of their name on his tongue, watching him with love in their gaze as he cums hard against their chest, staining the lace of their bodysuit white. His face, contorted with pleasure, is an image they want burned into their eyelids for the rest of their life.

"Fuck," they curse, panting hard and fast as they race towards their own release. Another pair of arms forms to wrap around his back, holding him tight against them as they pound into him. "Mine, mine—All mine… Gordon!"

Their hips lift off the bed, stuffing him full of their cock as their release hits them like a ton of bricks. Their tentacle straightens out to its full length, pulsing hard as it empties into him, their claws leaving dull red marks on his hips. Plum sweet voice filling the air as they ride out of their orgasm, head tipped back as waves of pleasure wash over them.

Once it passes, their hips fall lifelessly back onto the bed, tentacle slowly slipping out with a wet noise as it sluggishly rescinds back inside their sheath, leaving Gordon all wet and sticky with their blue slick. Their hands tremble against Gordon's hips, slowly siding back to hold onto him with both sets of arms while their chest heaves and head lolls to one side.

For a moment, they just lie there breathing, basking in the afterglow. That word keeps echoing in their mind—mine, mine, mine—as they run their fingers through his hair and over his sweat-slicked skin. As they do, Gordon's breaths warm their neck where he's tucked his face against them, pressing lazy kisses here and there. 

"Good boy," he mumbles against their skin. "Love you so fucking much."

They rest their eyes for a few moments, a lazy grin tugging at their lips. They are a good boy, they… they're good. They're good! Pride swells in their chest, proud of basically every single choice that lead up to this, from heading to the Victoria's Secret to picking out this particular set to unveiling it in the middle of a water gun fight. Benrey's not modest, they look fucking fantastic in this and they know it. Their tits and ass especially look incredible.

As Gordon moves to sit up, Benrey lets their extra pair of arms rescind, so he can take the time to stare down at them, appreciating the work they put in. The attention has Benrey lazily preen, contorting their body to best enhance their features. They're rewarded as he bends down to lick the cum off their body. A soft sigh passes their lips, arching their back into him as he explores their body further.

Once Gordon's done, he captures their mouth with his, sharing the salty taste of his cum with them. They eagerly suck on his tongue to get all of it, moaning at the familiar taste. As he pulls away, they reach up to slide their hands into his hair, pulling him back down to rest their foreheads together. 

Gordon chuckles, his hands sliding over Benrey's sides. "I can't believe you showed this off in the middle of the fight," he says. "Benny was filming that shit. Oh, fuck, we need to watch that later." 

The mention of Benny and the video camera simultaneously sobers and turns Benrey on—that is a video they'd love to see, to observe Gordon's reaction, their own reaction, to watch him pushing them down into the fountain, the look on their face as they ground their hips into him. The thought of seeing themself like that has heat coursing through them, skin prickling with arousal.

"Oh. Oh, shit," Gordon suddenly says, rolling over onto his back beside them where they immediately miss his warmth, sitting up so they can turn towards him. "Benny saw that. This is so fucking weird. We're, uh—I really feel like it's your responsibility to have the birds and bees talk with them."

"I what?" they choke, their body tensing up. "The fuck talk? Bro I don't know where babies come from, like, for me. Other than getting merked and cloning yourself but—Can't you do it?"

"What?! Noooo!" Gordon protests, his face rapidly turning red as his gaze shifts around the room. "I know even less than you. And you—It’s not like you need to give them a whole biology lesson. Just… tell them it’s okay to feel… stuff."

Despite their whining, Benrey knows he's right. It has to be them, it can't be anyone but them. Doesn't mean they want to. They don't even know what the not-touching-each-other-sexually version of "the talk" constitutes. Is it just the talking parts? Do they demonstrate anything at all? What do they do if Benny has weird questions?

But it's really not a big deal! Sex, sexuality, it's a natural part of life, even Benny's life, and they might need help to figure it out. At least so they aren't confused or get weird ideas about the things Benrey and Gordon do together.

"Fine, whatever," Benrey says. This whole having a clone thing is a lot of responsibility. They wish Benny would just fuck off already… except the thought of that actually happening is really sucks. This is something they always wanted, but, like, back when they had no friends. "I just… think it's important if they're comfortable first. Get cozy and chill, uh, alien boy's night. Or something idk." They look around at the row of beds, one of which has some plushies on them. Did a kid leave that or something? "Maybe here. Little fort, tonight. Thinks that's… good. It's how I did it anyway, and I think it was good… idea."

"So you wants us to—to show Benny how—and… Yeah, okay. Yeah. You're right, they deserve to be comfy when… yeah, duh, obviously." The slight panic in his voice has Benrey staring at him perplexingly. It's not like he has to have The Talk, so like, calm down, maybe? "Just to be sure, you know that they—that Benny wants me—us—me… like… that. Because if we try that, and they sing… forest green to blue meaning I'm not into you, you might have to leave me here for the headcrabs because I will never be able to face them again."

His nervous stuttering and stumbling over his words starts to almost violently make sense, as Benrey feels their heart drop into their stomach and the room close in around them. He—He. Benny. He likes… Benny. Like, that?

"Wuh—whhh whuh—" Finding their words is a challenge, but they eventually manage to force out, "I meant talking! I'm not saying take their virginity TONIGHT I'm t—talking! We're gonna talk about it! Oh my GOD you want that skeleton dick so bad it makes you look stupid."

There's an edge of heat to their voice that they can't fully hide behind humor. The two of them have talked about accepting other people into their relationship before, namely Tommy, since Benrey's already—sort of—with Tommy, so it's not like that. But Benny is… Benny is…

They watch Gordon's face pale as their words wash over him, and it makes them feel even worse, like closing a door on something important that they can never get back.

"N-No!" Gordon exclaims. "I-It's not that I want to—I mean I'm not opposed, but… you left out some crucial words from your description and I—I just jumped to a conclusion, tried to be supportive, and…" he trails off as he suddenly starts to laugh, which has Benrey shrinking back. "I—hhhhhhahahaha… It's just… pffftt—"

"Wh—Whuh, whuh—Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry! I—Oh my god… this is so fucking absurd. You're right, Benrey… they deserve to be cozy. We'll talk to them tonight and take it from there." He turns to pull them against his chest, his hand resting at the back of their head as they sag against him, their hands on his chest. "I love you… you know that, right?"

"Yeah… love you, too," they softly respond, rubbing their cheek against his chest.

"And you know if you… if you wanna do something with them, with, with both of us… that's okay too. I mean I'm not opposed… to you and me, showing them how it feels to be loved and feel good together. I get it if that's too weird for you and I would never do anything you or Benny aren't comfortable with but…"

"You move fast, huh," they sullenly mumble, pressing tighter against him.

This is all a really dumb way for him to say he wants to fuck Benny, after having known them for like, what, two days? They only grew skin this morning. Can't he despise them for at least a day before wanting to bone them? Why are they getting treated so much better than Benrey ever was? Maybe it's because they can't talk, can't be annoying if they can't ask for his passport and tell him to stop breaking every rule.

Gordon pulls back, and Benrey scrambles to wrap their arms around his back, keeping him from leaving. But all he does is kiss the top of their head and tell them, "Benrey, listen. You're my boyfriend, my top priority, and I will never do anything with Benny that makes you uncomfortable. Benny's cute and all, and yeah, I'm attracted to them, but… you come before anything else, okay?"

A shiver is coaxed out of them as Gordon's fingertips brush over their nape, tracing the marks his teeth have left there. The memory of his teeth sinking into their flesh makes their body hot, and they tug him back against them, face buried in his neck. Thin lips press tender, lingering kisses into his skin.

They love to hear it, that they belong to each other. Bound together by an invisible thread that can never be broken. Doesn't mean other people can't get tangled up in it with them; they'd wanted Tommy involved after all. They feel a connection to him that's different but equally as valuable after all. Maybe Benny will be like that for him? Knowing how important Tommy is to them, they'd never want to get in the way of Gordon finding something similar.

But… will it actually be like that at all? Will he look at the more volatile of his two options and decide he wants both, just like Benrey did? Or will he wise up and ditch the guy who gets on his nerves all the time in favor of their far better alternative?

"Mmm… yeah," Benrey eventually responds, their hand finding its way to the nape of Gordon's neck, lovingly tracing each individual puncture wound bruising his skin. "Benny's lucky, huh." There's a jealous edge to their voice as they say that. "I just had Tommy to fuck me through The Talk, not two whole guys. That's a lotta dick."

What makes them so special? The beautiful baby bird who gets to spread their wings and fly, get admired and loved by everyone while Benrey's locked up in a cage, hated by everyone but the person who sees himself in them. Benrey could snatch them out of the air and crush them in their hands.

Oblivious to their surly mood, Gordon snorts a laugh. "I suspected it was Tommy," he says, his tone light to contrast theirs. "Nah, man, you were lucky as fuck. I can't think of anyone better to introduce you to that kind of stuff. Heck, I wish I had Tommy around to show me how stuff worked." He presses a kiss to the side of their head. "We'll build something super comfy, bring in some snacks and stuff and start by just talking. If Benny is interested in anything else we'll take it from there."

Benrey's mood darkens at the thought of that, because, well… if anything happens, they're just going to go along with it. Whatever makes Gordon happy.

"Let's go find them, explore the mall some more," Gordon suggests, kissing them again before pulling back. This time, they let him go, even if they're not done holding him, wanna climb inside his body and get carried around like a… kangaroo… baby sling.

Now that they're done getting fucky, they're left with sticky and gross wet fabric, so they start removing everything as Gordon stretches out his back. The rest of their clothes are completely soaked as well, so they're not sure what their options are. Good thing their pockets were all empty.

"Uh," Benrey starts, as Gordon tracks down some nearby towels to dry himself off with. "Got, uh, left my bag with all the water, gotta fetch quest."

"Awesome, man," Gordon says, as Benrey, now in the buff, wanders over to help dry off his back, running their hands over his soft, warm flesh as they do. "If you're teleporting over there, can you grab me something to wear? Oh, and my jacket by the fountain? Don't really wanna wander around the mall in my birthday suit."

"Why not, though?" Benrey asks, lips curling into a coy smirk. He laughs.

"Hey, keep it in your pants, okay? And… fuck, I'm gonna need new shoes, these ones are soaked. Didn't really think the whole fountain thing through." As Benrey finishes up, they toss the towel aside, and Gordon hands them a clean, black bathrobe from a display.

"'Course, bro," they say, accepting the bathrobe with a soft smile. Once it's on and tied around their middle, they stop to kiss him, saying, "Brb," before teleporting away.

Near the fountain, Benrey finds their coffin-shaped backpack on the floor, picking it up and slinging it on over their shoulders. While tracking down Gordon's hat and jacket, they spot a wet floor sign that definitely wasn't here earlier. That leads to them noticing the rope tied between two pillars nearby, where their sweater, Gordon's tshirt, and Benny's old clothes are hanging up to dry. Not just that, but there's the clothes both Benrey and Gordon have worn over the past few days, washed and drip-drying into a series of buckets placed on the linoleum underneath.

Though they can't find Benny anywhere, they could take a wild guess that the alien's responsible for this. So while they were off having fun, Benny was doing chores. Being useful.

Benrey turns away with a huff, popping into a nearby store to look for clothes for Gordon. "Can you believe this," they grumble to a nearby mannequin. "Sooooo helpful, I can be helpful too. Gonna get the best… clothe, funny, make him laugh. Get to be the funny guy, hot guy in lace, can't be me…"

This time, they skip all the normal shit they got him the first time—as normal as distressed black and white jeans can be—in favor of some black, belted streetwear pants, some matching high-tops to complement the aesthetic, and a tshirt from Spencer's with rainbow text that reads "Gay In The Streets, Gay In The Sheets". They spend a long time at the Zumiez looking for the right shoes, something that'll fit while looking stylish. They're good at fashion, okay, just because they've never dressed up in their life doesn't mean they don't get it. And they can help Gordon look fashion too.

Benrey smiles to themself, pleased with their choices as they return to the Bacon, Bettuce, and Bomato to hand deliver the garments to Gordon.

Chapter Text

While waiting for Benrey, Gordon tugs on a fluffy bathrobe of his own. Sure, he could stay naked, maybe even cuddle up in bed, but without Benrey around, it leaves him feeling too exposed. Actually, even covered up, the feeling of dangerous vulnerability keeps growing. He's okay, he has to keep telling himself that. Benrey would never leave him anywhere alone if there was something dangerous to look out for.

Despite that, he can't stop glancing over his shoulder, wary of the presence of headcrabs that could've gotten in through a vent, keeping his ears peeled for anything even resembling the skitter of claws against linoleum. 

But when a sound finally does reach him, it's not sharp claws, but footsteps. Flashes of darkness and a gleaming, jagged knife slam through his mind, the sound of heavy combat boots on tile echoing through the room—

When something emerges from the front of the store, Gordon jumps and hits the bed, swiftly pushing himself back up to his feet as his body yells at him to run. Instinct has him reaching for a holster he's not wearing, panic flashing hot-cold through his body.

Only for his eyes to land on the source of the footsteps, his vision clearing to take in the sight of Benrey coming towards him, a timid look on their face. Actually… it's not Benrey at all, he quickly realizes. Benny's face has grown in more, giving their soft, heart-shaped lips a slight purple tint, a hint of a blue-violet blush coating their cheeks. 

"Whuh… Oh, it's just… hi, bud." Feeling self conscious, Gordon tugs the bathrobe tighter around his body, covering up where it had gotten a little yanked open in some places. As he does, Benny's eyes dart down towards his chest and away, their blush growing deeper—or did he imagine that? Might've been wishful thinking. "So what, uh—What have you been up to?"

His question draws Benny's gaze back towards him, glancing to his face before staring down at his knees. Stepping closer, they rifle through the black satchel they carry on their back before eventually holding out something for him to inspect. At first glance, it appears to be a little potted sunflower made of plastic. Until he takes it out of their hands, at which point he spots a lever to wind up. The expectant look Benny gives him prompts him to speak.

"Oh, it's a music box," he explains. Twisting the lever until he can't anymore, he lets it go, and the pot starts to spin as a music box rendition of You Are My Sunshine begins to play. The wonder on Benny's face is both similar and totally different from how Benrey would look. There's an innocent excitement in Benny's big blue eyes that makes something warm unfurl in Gordon's chest. He returns the music box, watching as they hold it with a reverence that would seem ridiculous on anyone else.

Suddenly compelled to show them more things, Gordon asks, "You want to hear the lyrics to this song?"

His question coaxes Benny's wide blue eyes away from the music box, staring at him for a moment before giving a shy nod. Though nervous, Gordon clears his throat and begins to sing once the music box's melody starts over.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

As he sings, Benny's attention never once strays, watching him with more focus than his mediocre singing really deserves. He drops his gaze to the flower pot to escape their intense stare. However, as he sings the last few words, he looks back up right in time to see something spectacular.

There's color consuming Benny's face, revealing the darkness of the top half of their face and bringing out the shape of their round cheekbones. As he studies their features, his mouth agape, their round blue eyes keep flicking nervously towards him and away, but he doesn't notice. Not until they turn away, hiding their face behind both hands. Their claws are dull in comparison to Benrey's, like the difference between a paring knife and a butter knife.

"Hey, no, no, it's okay, you—Your face, it's… Can I see you, please?" 

Slowly, very slowly, Benny lets Gordon guide their hands away from their face. Pale blue eyes peek out through their fingers at him, until finally, their hands fall away, revealing their fully formed face. Gordon takes a moment to take it all in, all the little details, the differences between them and Benrey that makes them, well, them. 

"Hi, there you are," he says.

It's amazing how much difference a bit of color makes. No longer shrouded in a vantablack shadow, each feature becomes so much more apparent. He can't look away. Before he knows it, he's cupped Benny's cheeks to tilt their head this way and that. He watches their cheeks blossom a lovely blue-violet hue, a series of pink and yellow bubbles escaping past their pale lips. They look so soft, far softer and plusher than Benrey's, and he can't help wondering how it would feel to have them pressed against his own.

- ♡ -

When Benrey gets back with their haul, they expect to find Gordon here waiting, maybe toweling himself off some more or gathering up supplies for the fort, or posing sexily on the bed so maybe they can get in a round two. Instead, what they find is that he's not alone—Benny's in here, too, stood looking nervous in front of Gordon where he's got his chin cupped in his hand, like, like… panic flares in Benrey's gut and they charge forward, interrupting whatever this is.

"Clothes for you sir," they announce, causing both Gordon and Benny to whip around to face them.

The sight of Benny's face knocks all the wind right out of them, so busy staring that they trip over a cord and drop all of Gordon's new clothes on the floor. Even still, they can't take their eyes off Benny.

There's many similarities. Cheekbones are rounder, ears larger and droopier, lips fuller and almost heart shaped, while their nose has a sharper downward curve. There's a delicate look to them, and a childlike awe in their gaze, the cold look stuck to Benrey's face by default totally absent on them.

In short, they're beautiful.

"Jesus! Benrey, are you okay?" Gordon exclaims, ignoring the clothes to rush over and help them up off their hands and knees. All the while, they just keep staring at Benny, until the point they get so embarrassed as to hide behind their hands. Only then does Benrey manage to look up at Gordon, who exhales a laugh at the stunned look on their face. "I know, right? Look at them. Aren't they so cute?"

Cute. The sound of his voice as he says that puts Benrey on edge. Yeah, they're cute, that's practically an objective fact. The bashful behavior, their slender hands and soft, creamy skin, not to mention their big, curious blue eyes. While they've also got some sharp features here and there, not exactly a baby face by any stretch of the imagination, they still look, and act, like they were made in a factory to be as innocent and sweet as possible.

Unlike Benrey, who was raised in a lab to end up the opposite way. Everything about them feels like the antithesis of what Benrey is, and Gordon's immediate interest in them is… making Benrey's skin crawl, to be honest.

It feels like a dark cloud has just come over them, and all they can think of is how much worse they are than Benny. It took work for Gordon to even tolerate them, and zero effort for Gordon to end up infatuated with Benny. And why wouldn't he? They're so sweet, tidy, cute, and they can't talk back. Can't say anything annoying.

Gordon's saying something, but Benrey has no idea what it is when there's this loud, angry buzzing in their ears. The plan was that they'd come back with a funny outfit and make Gordon laugh, and instead… Benny's already here, taking up all his attention. The Gordon and Benrey hour is over. As Gordon gathers up the clothes Benrey's brought him, they just stand there and watch, feeling something a little scary come over them as Benny bends to help him pick stuff up, quickly refolding everything they grab before handing it over.

"Thanks, bud," he tells them. As he starts unfolding the clothes to put them on, his face shifts from a quizzical frown to a wide smile as he bursts into laughter. Holding up the t-shirt for everyone else to see, he says, "Wow, all I do for you and you give me clown clothes."

A smirk tugs at Benrey's lips, their metaphorical tail wagging as they see they've got his attention again. Benny fades into the background, walking off to give Gordon privacy as he gets changed. They even cover their eyes. Not Benrey, though, who openly ogles him as he gets dressed, adding his leather jacket to the mix. Approaching a nearby mirror to check out his new getup, he can't help but laugh.

"Man, I'm turning into a scene kid with a midlife crisis," he says. "I kinda thought the apocalypse would be all leather and chains like Mad Max, but instead we've got," he points at Benrey, "Emo," he gestures to Benny, "Soft goth boy," then himself, "And emo, but ironic."

They let out a laugh as they toss aside their robe, before digging through their bag for some clothes. It'll take too long to put too much effort in, so they just get out some rolled-up blue plaid pants, long-sleeved shirt, a cardigan that reaches down to their knees, and a pair of winklepickers. All black save for the pants, of course, because they're the group's emo. Gordon said it and everything.

The chain Benny stuck to their belt earlier is drying on a towel nearby, and they hesitate before approaching it. With a little extra rubbing, it dries easily, even if the metal's pretty cold still. It's a cool accessory to add to an outfit, but when Benny's wearing the same one, it becomes like a friendship bracelet. The feelings Benrey holds for them are complicated at best, but not wearing it somehow feels like the wrong move to make. Like, if they walk out of here without it, they'll regret it.

Gut feelings aren't something they pay attention to very often, since they're usually meant to lure them away from danger in a place where there is no escaping danger. They just have to stand still and let it happen. In this case, there's no danger, just a complicated interpersonal relationship to navigate.

Whatever. They attach the chain to their belt the way it was before, and run off to join Gordon and Benny.

As they step out into the mall, Benrey reaches for Gordon's hand, tugging him along as they call the shots for a moment. It's been tiring having to wander around this place looking at stuff Benny wants to see instead of all the cool, fun shit, and though they've had time to wander on their own, it wasn't a lot of time. Not to mention, there's so much they'd rather do with Gordon than without him.

That Benny also latches on to Gordon's hand is something they do their best to ignore. Especially the way he smiles back at them when they do so. Whatever. It's fine.

"So, where do you wanna go first?" Gordon asks them as they wander through the mall. It's not a big place, and they've all already been through the entire thing several times, so they know what's here. "We could get some music going on the PA system, although that might attract some attention, but as long as the barricades hold that shouldn't be a problem."

Benrey's ponderings about where to go screech to a halt. On the ride here, they'd thought up a bunch of ideas for what they wanted to do just to forget about all of them and go with the flow. However, music had definitely been a part of it. They have memories of the scene in The Last of Us where they danced on a shop counter to some old music, and they've always wanted to do something like that. They've already got the water guns down, and there's no carousel option, so. Time for music.

Silent, Benrey drags Gordon down a hallway, hearing him laugh behind them and tease them for their enthusiasm. Tucked away in the corner of the mall is a music store, filled with records and CDs with a glass counter forming a square around the middle. There's players on display inside the counter, with some boxed on the shelves, but that's not what's got Benrey's attention.

In the very back is a wall-to-wall rack of guitars and bass guitars in an assortment of shapes and colors. Benrey freezes, going glossy eyed at the sight of them. Never before have they laid eyes on a guitar in person, not unless you count a Guitar Hero one. It's one of those things they've always wanted to play with, but never could.

They drop Gordon's hand to rush over to them, where they lift a cool black guitar off the rack, unaware that they're holding a bass, turning it every which way to get a good look at it.

"Where's the… STRAP…"

There's a little knub where they're pretty sure the strap is supposed to attach, sold separately, apparently. Disregarding that, they hold the guitar like they're pretty sure they're supposed to, strumming their nails along the strings. The sound it produces is nowhere near what they expected. In fact, they can barely hear it.

"Bro I think it's broken or something," they complain. "Pbbbbpt." Even so, they don't put it down, trying their best to replicate what they've seen, placing their fingers in random places along the fret and frowning when it doesn't produce much sound.

"It's not broken," Gordon explains, taking down an acoustic guitar. Watching him grab the boring guitar has their interest fading, until they see him start to tune it. Oh, shit, he might actually know what he's doing. "That's an electric bass, babe. You need to plug it in to make it sound cool. This one though," he plays a few chords, looking satisfied with what he hears. "You can play as is. I can teach you the basics, if you want." 

"That's soooo hot," they breathe, in total awe despite only playing three chords. It's not their fault they find musicians so attractive. It's something about the way their fingers move over the strings, and the allure of a good song that makes the musicians who play it so interesting. Seeing Gordon with one is a double whammy. Hot boyfriend, holding guitar?? With that leather jacket and his wild mane of hair set free around his shoulders? They take it all back about acoustic guitars being boring, they're very sexy actually.

Benrey rushes over to place the bass back where they found it, gently running a hand down it. "I'm coming back for you," they stage-whisper to it, "After I figure out how to make you loud."

Scurrying back over to Gordon, they start making grabby hands at his guitar. When he passes it to them, they start strumming experimentally, just to see what will happen, immensely pleased to have it produce something audible. The vibration feels really good, making them want to stand around strumming wildly. With a smile, they place their fingers where Gordon had, perfectly copying the same chords in order. The notes have Benrey's grin growing large in their excitement.

"Yooo, what," they say, strumming each chord again as Gordon watches on in awe. "That's dope as hell. Show me another one."

As Gordon accepts the guitar back from them, he says, "Man, fuck you. It took me weeks to get the first three chords down and here you are, doing it on the first try." 

Benrey grins and sticks their tongue out at him, deciding not to tell him why that is. Instead, they watch him poise his fingers over the fret, searching for what he wants to play next. After a moment spent pondering, he starts to play. It's a simple melody, being just the D and B chords, but as the note permeate their thick skull, their smile drops and their eyes widen, face burning hot.

Of course part of their fascination with musical instruments was related to sweet voice, how could it not be? But somehow they hadn't expected the love of their life to hold a guitar and make it sing a pink to blue love confession to them. That's some teen romance shit. Gordon outside their house at night, strumming a love song on his guitar.

"Holy shit," they breathe. "Lemme see that." Reaching out to receive the guitar from Gordon, they eagerly race to replicate the song, this time needing to start over a few times before they manage to replicate it properly. Once they get it right, they can't stop playing it over and over, like a mantra of IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou screamed out via the vibrations of an acoustic guitar. Gordon smiles warmly at them as they play. "How do you make the notes just… do anything?"

"Well, that's what's so great about music," he explains, letting them jam on the strings to their heart's content. "It's a universal language, like math. The world decided on a system called notes, or chords in the case of a guitar, and all songs can be translated into them."

Glancing around, Gordon locates a bookshelf nearby, taking the time to browse while Benrey messes around with the chords they've learned, humming the equivalent in sweet voice. There's too many little squares to put their fingers into, though, they don't know how to make the notes they want—until Gordon brings over two books for them to look at. At first, they frown at the sight of them, until he shows them the inside. It's all pictures with huge lettering. One is called "Guitar For Beginners", the other being an instructional booklet on how to read sheet music.

"There's only so many notes and chords you need to learn," he explains. "After you've got those down, you can play anything. You just gotta get used to moving your fingers like that, but you probably won't have any trouble with that, huh."

Handing them off to Benrey, who forms some extra arms in order to do so, he smiles down at them as they flick through the pages, a little skeptical about it all, but… well, if this is what it takes, they'll figure out what the hell all these squares and circles mean. And if that's all they gotta do… their eyes grow wide with excitement.

"I can be a music-i-shun," they declare.

Video games, cooking, now this… there's so many things in the world they could learn how to do, and it's only just now hitting them in full. They could learn how to paint. How to surfboard. Skateboard! They could MAKE a video game. It's so overwhelming, they almost feel the need to sit down, cyan drifting out of their mouth.

"We can bring some guitars with us if you want," he offers. "Practice while we drive. Then, by the time we get to the safehouse, you'll be able to serenade Tommy." 

Gordon's teasing has Benrey turning blue, laughing bashfully as they picture what that would be like. They could do it in bed, or on a balcony somewhere that won't disturb anyone. Write a song incorporating sweet voice into it, invent some lyrics or just hum actual sweet voice alongside it. They'd play it for him and he'd be red in the face by the time they're done, watching him with that fond smile they've seen him aim at them so many times in the past.

Playing through this fantasy, Benrey's face burns an even deeper shade of blue, a stupid grin on their face.

Setting the guitar aside, the rush forward to draw Gordon into a tight hug. "Thank you," they say. "Tommy's gonna love it. He's a huge fucking sap like you are, acts like he isn't, but, I know, truth."

"You seem to have a thing for saps," he teases. "Sure you're not one yourself?"

Benrey decides not to dignify that with a response—they are a sap, and it means a lot to them that the people they surround themself with are okay with that. After Tommy had saved them and helped them make a new friend, back when they'd only managed to cling to their last thread of sanity by remembering the kindness Gordon had once shown them, they became convinced that love was what made everything worth it.

They're not gonna say this, though. Coming out of their mouth, it would just get jumbled up and weird anyway.

They give Gordon a quick kiss before looking around for everything they need to take the guitar with them. That's when they notice Benny looking through the CDs, and they're suddenly reminded of the other alien's presence. If not for the fact the store is so empty and fairly open, they might not even know Benny's around. They lack presence, digging through CDs without making a single sound. Might as well not even be here.

Well, whatever. More Gordon for them.

After getting together a strap for the guitar and a case for it to go in, they set it by the entrance for later, along with the books they've stashed inside a shopping bag. And though they gaze longingly at the bass guitar, they're not sure they should take it. There's only so much room in the van and it would be best if they didn't cram it full of stuff they don't need.

As they wander the store, Benrey indulges in imagining the place more bustling—a smattering of people hanging out in the background, looking through the selection and discussing music so quietly they can't be made out. An employee behind the counter who would ring them up as they set their purchases down.

Getting to experience that might be impossible now. But that's not so bad, really. Because it also means they can do whatever they want without consequence.

The portable CD players inside the display is easy to set up, and as they start doing so, Gordon wanders over from where he's been talking with Benny about CDs to help out. "Man, I haven't seen one of these in ages," he says. "It's all digital now, most I ever see is one of those ones you hook your phone up to. Can't beat the charm of one of these, though."

The CD player in question is still pretty modern, though. For starters, there's a USB plug which Benrey cannot fathom the purpose of, though they start joking around about it being able to run Doom as they find something to play on it. It's also Bluetooth and a bunch of other things, but the important part is, it reads discs.

Together, they look through the CDs, though this involves a lot of Benrey wandering off, staring blankly at the displays, and making a big mess that Benny has to clean up. So there's not a lot of room for conversation.

After gathering up a decent collection of albums, they come across the perfect CD, one that has them racing over to the CD player to get it going. They barely know how to work one of these things, resulting in several songs starting and stopping before they get to the track they want. Which is the first track. Whatever. As they do so, Gordon lifts his head to stare over at them with a perplexed frown, the gears turning in his eyes as he tries to place the music he's only getting brief samples of. It's the type of music where if you know the song, you'll recognize it after only a few seconds. And it's quickly hitting Gordon, an amused grin tugging at his lips.

"Cascada? Are you serious?" Gordon laughs, and though Benrey grins, they don't say anything. Instead, they get Evacuate The Dancefloor playing, before pulling themself up onto the counter to start dancing. "What are you doing?"

In the middle of their dance, they gesture for him to come join them, and he wanders over to the counter, lured in by their siren song—or Natalie Horler's song, whatever. Even if they've reeled him in, he still needs further convincing to actually climb up, insisting he's too big or clumsy or whatever, so they kneel down to grab him under the armpits and heft him up onto the counter with them. It's easy, and makes him all red in the face.

"Gimme this dance," they say, forgetting how the line's meant to go. Taking his hands, they pull him along into an energetic dance. For Gordon, this mostly amounts to some awkward white girl shuffling, which Benrey laughs at while doing their own thing.

"Don't laugh!" Gordon says, even as he's chuckling himself. "I'm doing my best here."

While they were intending this to be like a scene in a video game, what they get is a lot more like a scene in an entirely different video game, and it's kinda funny how much this one fits. Though not be a photographer, Gordon is a nerd with brown hair and freckles, laughing and awkwardly attempting to dance along to his edgy stoner boyfriend's much more confident and sensual moves. Hopefully they don't get shot in the head like she did, that would be pretty sucks.

Grabbing onto his hands again, they start to sway and bounce around with him, even if he's a lot more reluctant to actually jump. At least they get him to let go of his inhibitions a little. It helps that Benny's nearby clapping, sharing in the energy even if they can't laugh like Gordon is, loud and wheezing.

"Slow—Slow down, babe," he eventually says, sounding out of breath. Benrey lets him go, though they don't stop dancing like he does, hands on his knees panting. "Need a… Gordon needs a break."

Slowly, he kneels down to sit on the side of the counter, where Benny rushes over to help him down without falling. The song draws to a close around then, with Everytime We Touch playing next. While Benrey was fine stopping after just the one song, seeing him laughing and smiling as he hops down into Benny's arms—not really, but close enough—makes them want more. A whole prom of dances. Anything to keep Gordon up here with them and not down there with Benny.

They're not usually like this. But having an epic road trip where Gordon focuses solely on them, feeding them good foods, kissing them, telling them how much he adores them, it's addicting.

And familiar. These ugly feelings brewing inside them… it's been awhile since they felt them.

Hopping down with much more grace, Benrey switches off the music and starts packing things up. They try to play it cool, which isn't hard considering they're still riding high from the dance. Just gotta smother the bad feelings. They're good at that. "Gonna blow out your back," they ask. "I could do that for you."

"Oh, you mean like you did earlier today?" Gordon says with a laugh, while Benny turns purple, turning away to help Benrey gather up their things.

It's not a lot—they find a case that fits dozens of CDs inside, and Benny makes pretty quick work of storing each one while Benrey and Gordon get the CD player, which is small anyway, plus some headphones. Too bad they can't have the kitty gamer headphones. Probably an online thing. All-in-all, they've managed to leave without racking up too much junk. Even if Benrey is trying to be polite about that sort of thing, it's Benny that's the real MVP here, taking their storage solutions to the next level quickly and efficiently. Makes Benrey feel like they're having one of those villain redemption moments, finally seeing the good in something they've been so stingy about.

Not completely, though. Because it's pretty annoying that Gordon spends so much time thanking them for their work when he could be laughing at Benrey's jokes or… or something. As a distraction, Benrey blurts out, "Yooo, can we go to GameStop now?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, we can do that," Gordon says, before turning back to Benny. Benrey's shoulders sag, the weight of their stare heavy as they look past him to Benny. "You wanna come with, Benny? I know Benrey's been excited to show you some of the stuff they like."

Benrey shoots Gordon a brief glance. When did they ever say that? Pettiness drives them to want to deny it all, but they feel like that was a sentiment they held at one point. The desire to share everything they like with someone who would hopefully mirror all their interests. But Benny's not like that. They're already showing tastes of their own, case in point, Benrey would never dress like that. It's not a bad look, but it doesn't feel like them at all.

Either way, they don't want to share anything with Benny right now. Despite the feeling of dread in their gut, like they're making a big mistake by acting this way, they give Benny a cold look. Not a glare, but not friendly, either. They watch as Benny's big blue eyes slide over towards them, and they visibly wilt at the look they're being given, one Gordon doesn't even notice when he's so busy looking at Benny. Averting their gaze, Benny stares down at their boots and shakes their head.

"Oh," Gordon says, audibly disappointed. Benrey looks away, telling themself they don't care about the situation they've just created with their poor attitude. "You sure? Well, just don't wander too far, okay? We don't want anything happening to you."

A nod later and Benny wanders off, taking some of the bags with them. That frees up Gordon's arms for some video game loot, though Benrey keeps their bag. It's not that obtrusive with all the CDs stashed in a big case, and they're not feeling like handing it over to Benny.

"Alright, just me and you, then," Gordon says with a smile. Hearing that has a flock of green orbs flying out of their mouth, ignoring the hint of concern in his eyes, flicking over towards Benny as they head off into the distance. "Let's go. I wanna see if we can find that game you talked about the other day."

It takes them a moment to figure out which game he means, but once it hits them, they brighten considerably, another burst of green sweet voice escaping them. "Hell yeah, bro. It's a formative… gameplay experience. Gonna go live in that game, three controllers, uh, netplay."

"Oh, it's multiplayer? Sweet. Lead the way, then."

Chapter Text

Gordon can't tell if things are going well or… not well. On the one hand, it's good to see Benny coming out of their shell, and literally, at that. Not only are they fully grown now, but their personality's presenting more and more. It's amazing to see. Once, they were nothing but a puppet, and now they've grown into someone that's sweet and kind. Although, if Gordon thinks back, he can see slivers of their personality even before they started growing. They've always been very helpful, keeping things tidy and doing various chores. That hasn't changed.

How Benrey feels about all this is hard to tell. The more Benny develops into their own, the less patience Benrey seems to have with them. Gordon really can't wrap his head around it. In the beginning, they were so scared about Benny being a clone, and now that there's clear differences between them, Benrey still isn't warming up to them.

In a way, it's almost a relief that Benny chooses not to follow them. Although Gordon's sad to see them leave, at least now he won't have to worry about the tenuous relationship between the two aliens.

He lets Benrey lead the way, eagerly dragging him along like a dog on a leash while he laughs and tells them to slow down. It's not like they have to worry about the store closing or running out of stock.

The last time Benrey stepped inside a GameStop, Gordon hadn't been around to see their reaction to what he now realizes was their first ever trip to one. Only now does he realize that day was the first day Benrey ever spent outside Black Mesa in their life. Back then, Gordon had craved so badly to get rid of them somehow. It feels like an eternity's passed since then, when in reality, it's been less than a week.

Now, though, he gets to fully appreciate the look of awe on Benrey's face as they step through the entrance to the game store. The rows of games and familiar scent of plastic hit Gordon with a pang of nostalgia. He used to spend hours in the GameStop back at the mall in his small, midwestern hometown, browsing all the new and old titles despite lacking the money to buy anything. For Benrey, who's only been given games and never had the joy of tracking down a title on their own, this must be a very special place.

Soon, they're dragging Gordon from shelf to shelf, showing him different games they've played or want to play. Though, with some games, they'll start rambling on and on about plot or gameplay that's clearly made up, like a Barbie horse game that apparently features amazing FPS gameplay, or some kind of hack n' slash with the president of the United States as its final boss. The more they ramble, the more Gordon wheezes with laughter, prompting them to make up even weirder shit.

Eventually, Benrey hops the front counter—despite there being a perfect place to walk around it—phasing their hand through the door to unlock the entrance to the backroom. It's a cramped space, full of cardboard boxes and racks full of merch, console peripherals, and various older games hanging along the walls. Approaching one of the shelves, they inform Gordon that they're looking for a DualShock compatible with the PS2.

"Yooo, look who it is," Benrey says in the midst of their search, drawing Gordon's attention over to where they're holding up a copy of Croc: Legend of the Gobbos for the Game Boy Color. "Did you ever beat this?"

The game doesn't ring any bells, not at first—but when it does, it gives Gordon brief flashes of memories, of warm summer mornings spent playing odd games like this one. That Benrey would know about such an obscure title is surprising. Why would they assume he's played it?

"Uh… nah, I don't think I did," he says, tipping his head to one side. "How did you—Have I talked about it before?"

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, glancing from him back to the game box, before setting it back where they found it. He never gets an answer to his question, but he decides to let it go. They must've just phrased themselves weirdly.

Returning to the search, Gordon finds it hard to stay on track when there's so much to get distracted by. For instance, there's a stack of old refurbished consoles that he remembers owning, or that he'd merely dreamt of owning. Like the Dreamcast he finds, still in the original box, though a little battered and worn.

"Oh, man," he says, picking up the box as Benrey glances over to see what he's looking at. "I used to really want one of these as a kid, it was like… the coolest thing you could have back then."

"I know," Benrey says, as Gordon gives them an odd look. "You was so cute, little baby boy with your little curls."

Those words have Gordon turning to watch Benrey as they dig through the shelves, wondering how they'd even know what he looked like as a child. Did they just guess? Well, it's not like it's hard to figure out that he had a big head of curls as a boy, and kids tend to be cute, or at the very least, that's what's polite to say. It probably doesn't mean anything.

"Yeah, I guess I was," he says, though he doesn't really remember it much. He's seen pictures, sure, but not recently. Anyway, while it's tempting to take the Dreamcast with him, they don't have the room to bring an old console with only a few games ever made for it back with them.

Heaving a sigh, Gordon places it to the side and keeps digging. Sitting down on the floor to check out the stash at the bottom, he manages to find an old Game Boy Color, a Donkey Kong Country 2 cartridge still inside. After checking if it still has batteries and cranking the volume way up, he goes to show it off to Benrey.

"Benrey, Benrey! Look," he excitedly exclaims, as Benrey turns to look down at the console in his hands, which he flicks on. When nothing happens, he worries that the batteries might've run out, until the screen suddenly lights up to show the old GameBoy logo wobbling onto the screen with a soft da-ding. "The sound," he says, watching Benrey's eyes go wide, lips parting. They immediately drop down onto the ground to sit with him.

"Bro, that's—Do it again," Benrey insists, pushing on Gordon's arm. He obliges, resetting it so that they can watch the little start up animation again. Benrey hangs over his shoulder as he does this, strands of their dark hair tickling his ear. "Does it have—Where's that game we used to play? You have to finish it for me."

Gordon's so lost in the memories the sound creates that he answers Benrey's question without thinking. "Nah, that was Donkey Kong Country, this is the second—" 

The words die on his lips as he realizes what he's saying. Blinking owlishly down at the familiar console in his hands, he turns to look over at Benrey. Except, for a moment there, it's not his boyfriend he sees. In their place is a small child, with large, golden eyes curtained behind a mop of dark curls. The vision only lasts a second before Gordon's pulled back to the here and now. The vision's shaken a few memories free in his mind, however, memories of a child with stained hands and sharp teeth.

"Wait," he says. "Hold up… wait… " Dropping the Game Boy into his lap, Gordon pinches the bridge of his nose, as if he could somehow grasp onto the memories, pluck them free, and view them like scenes in a movie.

It's just—There's no way, it's impossible! He's making connections that aren't there. It's such a romantic thought, right, that his boyfriend, the love of his life, could be the very same child he was so attached to that one summer on Daisy's farm. But he can't help but wonder… how far from Black Mesa was Daisy's farm? They were both in New Mexico, but… No, that's insane. This whole line of thinking is ridiculous, there's no way.

The sound of Benrey's voice flashes to the forefront of his mind. We used to be great friends. 'Member those days…? We used to—where we played in the sand and in the mud?

Gordon suddenly feels very hot, his heart racing and body growing uncomfortably warm. No, that was nothing. That's just some nonsense Benrey spouted, they do it all the time, they were doing it only a few minutes ago! It doesn't mean anything. There's something wrong with his head, he's inhaled too much green goop fumes and now his brain is fabricating memories. And yet…

While Gordon goes through his crisis, Benrey plucks the Game Boy out of his hands, pressing buttons until they've managed to start up Donkey Kong Country 2. Glancing over at them, Gordon studies them for a moment, his eyes glancing over their features that now feel so familiar to him in an entirely different way. Against all better judgment, he decides to ask them one, and only one question, before he discards this line of thinking entirely.

Though his tongue feels dry, he forces the words out regardless, his voice sounding strange even to his own ears. "Ben—Benrey… the bush, what color were the flowers?"

It's a nonsense question if you don't know the context. Which Benrey doesn't, obviously! They'll be confused, call Gordon a silly little bush boy, and he'll laugh it away, act like it's a weed meme they just haven't heard yet. Because this is nothing! Nothing whatsoever.

"Huh?" They blurt, blinking slowly up at him.

Benrey's confusion confirms it, it's all in his head. A silly, made up friend he's given Benrey's features to make his life more romantic. Fabricated memories, happens all the time. He's about to wave it away, make that weed joke and start helping them look for a DualShock controller when they speak again.

"What, the… lilacs? Purple."

Gordon's gaze whips up towards them, shock in his eyes while they just look down at the game so casually, like their words haven't just changed everything. A slightly hysterical laugh escapes Gordon, sounding dangerously close to a sob.

"No—You—You don't—That can't…" His eyes sting, his hands shaking as he quickly moves to bat his tears away. He's not crying! Why would he cry? Why is he crying? Tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision. "We… used to play in the mud and sand…?"

The memories he has are scattered and few, most of them sensory. Their dark hair tickling his chin, their breath on his skin, strangely cold despite the heat of summer. The noise of the Game Boy starting, the anticipation of getting to show them a game that always makes them so excited. Everything bathed in sunlight filtering through leaves, a secret place belonging only to them.

Gordon remembers now, how happy he'd been to have a best friend like them.

But he also remembers why he'd pushed the memories away. Because after all that joy, he experienced his very first heartbreak. One day they were there, promising to wait until the next morning so they could play more games together, and the next, they were gone. No matter how much he waited, searched, and put out the treats he knew they liked, they never came back. He'd been inconsolable, the memory of that grief hitting him like a punch to the gut. Over time, that despondency had overwritten the happiness he used to feel thinking about them. And so, like a child often does with things that makes them sad, Gordon forgot all about them.

Yet some parts still remain, those little fragments shimmering in his mind like stars in the vast darkness of space. Those parts begin to fill him up, choking him until a sob finally breaks out of his throat.

"W-Why… Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, emotion flooding his voice. Benrey raises their gaze up from the game, staring at him with wide eyes. "We—Days! We've traveled for over a week, now, and not one time did you… You even called her…" How could he have forgotten what they used to call her?! "P-Princess Daisy, that's—You called her Princess Daisy, and… fucking hell, Benrey!"

Curling his legs close, Gordon place his head in his hands, struggling to control his breaths as the maelstrom of emotion inside him threatens to consume him. His right hand finds Benrey's cardigan and tangles into it, just… holding onto them, keeping them tethered to earth so they won't leave him again. 

"Huh…?" Benrey mumbles, utterly bewildered as they look from his hand back to his face, partially concealed behind one of his hands. "Whuh… What? I… hhhh…"

The confusion in their voice has the anger brewing inside him start to burn brighter than everything else. How could they pull that "huh" shit now? They can't do that, not now, not about this. But before he has the chance to snap at them, they flop sideways against him, curling their legs like his so their thighs press together.

"Whuh… I tried, bro," they say. "You don't listen, never believe me, just call me a liar… don't wanna try if you're bein' so mean to me. That shit hurted."

Lifting his head up, Gordon slumps against their side, the need for closeness overwriting everything else. 

"Not—You never—If you had said anything about the farm, I would have…" He pauses, reconsidering his words. "Okay, no, I wouldn't have then, not on Xen… but I would have believed you now."

Shifting, Gordon wraps his arms around Benrey's waist as they rush to encircle him in their arms as well, where he buries his face in their neck, inhaling the soft scent of their skin. Their fingers run their hand through his hair, cupping the back of his head to hold him closer, Game Boy set aside.

- ♡ -

This whole situation has Benrey's brain in a stunlock. They want answers he just isn't giving, like, why didn't he remember before now? How didn't he recognize them? They recognized him. The second he walked into the lab that fateful day nearly two weeks ago, they'd only needed to glimpse his vivid green eyes, curly auburn hair, thick glasses, and warm, freckled face to know, instantly. Years they spent wondering what he'd look like when he grew up, going over the memories of that one summer on repeat. Their first friend. Their best friend.

It hurt, it hurt real fucking bad, but they were willing to let it go. Now he's crying? Why? They don't understand.

Even if his words are true, if he really would have believed them if they'd spoken up… they couldn't, that's such a risk! What if he just got pissed off again? Turned on them for making up more bullshit lines, acting like big baaaaad Benrey who tells lies and does nothing but hurt him. The whole illusion of love between them, shattered. Big joke, he'd call it, big epic prank. How could they take that?

No, it was easier to pretend nothing else ever happened between them. All they have is the time they've spent together as two people who love each other, none of that other shit. All the good memories of them on a farm, muddy and hyperactive, they'll let it go.

They don't know what to say now. This is… their fault, they think? No, that doesn't feel right. Did they do this? Have they been bad? They didn't mean to do it.

"I looked for you," Gordon mumbles, curling closer, his legs ending up in their lap. "I don't remember a lot, but… I put out PB&J sandwiches in the bush, waited for you to turn up… but you didn't. I couldn't stop crying, Daisy couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, and… fuck, I missed you. That's all I really remember, was how much I missed you."

Their body tenses up, eyes stinging with unshed tears. Imagining that little boy with fuzzy hair sobbing uncontrollably over an uneaten plate of PB&J he'd left out in the bushes has their eyes welling with tears, claws tightening around strands of his hair. The tears flow in fat streams down their cheeks, wetting Gordon's jacket.

Suddenly, they're not a grown adult hugging their boyfriend in the backroom of a game store, they're a small child begging a group of heavily armed and armored guards not to take them back.

"No, I didn't want to!" they exclaim. "Thuh, they, they made me do it! I didn't wanna go, they made me… I begged and they, they…" Their breaths grow strained and shallow as they relive the memory in vivid technicolor. "I-I begged and… they wanted—forget—I can't, I can't, it was so cold and…" Their hands slide down to grip the back of his jacket, tight enough to threaten the integrity of the fabric. "I just wanted a friend, my best friend… but they took everything…!"

Benrey feels just as inconsolable as they did back then, shaking and crying to the point of growing feint, clinging to Gordon like a lifeline. So much time spent wondering if their friend missed them, too, and he'd been crying just like they were. He thought they'd left, all that time, that they discarded him? They would never, ever. No wonder he's so fucking scared of them disappearing!

"Oh… fuck, Benrey," Gordon breathes, curling his whole body around them as they sob onto his shoulder. "Oh, Benrey, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, that—that I didn't protect you. I—I… fuck, I'm going to drag those bastards out of hell so I can murder them all over again."

As he squeezes them tight, Benrey lets it all out, all the grief they weren't allowed to let out before, mourning for a life that never was and never will be. So many years spent fantasizing about moving into Daisy's house with Gordon and growing up together. They had no idea what that even entailed, so every day looked like more of them having fun, getting covered in mud and swimming around in the lake and sitting in the lilac bush playing more games together.

And their mind keeps coming back to the day when it was suddenly all over, when Black Mesa showed up to take them back and punished them for begging to see their friend, to go out into the sun and play Game Boy.

"I'm sorry…" they wail, trembling in his grasp. Pain laces through their chest like a blade slicing them open from the inside out, a pain that makes them feel sick, cold, and hollow. That place dug deep into them, carving everything out and never giving it back. "Sorry…"

A gentle hum pulls them out of the depths of their despair, the kind that makes them want to lay down and never get back up. They close their eyes, letting his song wash over them like a soothing balm. The end to their crying isn't swift, but in focusing on Gordon's voice they gain the strength needed to shove everything back into the vault. Their tight grip on his jacket slackens, thumbs rubbing over the leather, feeling the texture beneath their skin. As the trembling in their body slows, they sniffle, quietly humming pink to blue back at him.

"I'm sorry," they croak, their voice coming out quiet and a bit rough. "Why I don't… everything hard, I can't say it."

Gordon's soft hair brushes against their cheek as he nods, leaning forward to press a kiss to their brow, speaking against their skin. "S'okay, we don't have to talk," he says. "We're here, together, and that's what's important. I love you, okay? I love you so much."

A shuddering, pathetic sound escapes them, relieved beyond words to hear him say that. They take a deep, thick breath, their body deflating as they sag against Gordon.

"I wanna tell you stuff, though," they mumble against his skin. "Just so hard… this always happens, s'big sucks."

They're carrying so much weight, and they want to unpack it somehow, or to at least get help carrying that load, but it's so hard. They want to stop reacting to things this way, grow up and talk about their feelings and problems like an adult, but tearing open those wounds just brings the pain back. All the pain they keep locked away, it's enough to fill an ocean. This behavior isn't sustainable, but they don't know what else to do, how to process their emotions properly when sweet voice isn't enough.

Sniffling, they look up at the sound of the Game Boy starting back up, watching the screen through watery eyes with total focus, like moths to a flame. As Gordon urges them into his lap, they go willingly, fussing a little until they're comfortable with their legs folded and their cardigan wrapped around themself like a blanket, leaning fully back against Gordon's chest.

After that little… well, not little at all, they haven't broken down that hard… not since they actually were a child, screaming and crying and breaking things and lashing out with incredible anger. Since then they haven't felt anything quite so powerfully as that.

At least, nothing negative. They've been feeling some pretty incredible things lately, thanks to Gordon.

"Hey," Benrey speaks up, their voice a soft sotto voce. This has left them feeling so drained, but at least the silly little pixels on screen are there to help cheer them up. "What was… Princess Daisy like?"

"Oh, wow, that's…" Gordon pauses, and Benrey tips their head, peering up at him as his expression grows soft and fond. "She was a lot of things. Kind, funny, hard working. It's—okay, so, I dunno if you ever got the chance to see her, but she was this, like, 5'2" woman who could deadlift more than I probably could today. Her hair was a lot like mine too, curly, auburn, but more gray than mine is. Lots of freckles, more than me, all over her face and arms. She had this… hoarse voice, probably because she smoked like, half a pack a day. I liked it though, it was very comforting to listen to."

Though they've never seen her, they remember the sound of her voice like it was yesterday. She'd call Gordon into the house for meals or chores or whatnot, and Benrey would spook, running off to hide in the bushes or deep in the woods. After that, Gordon would have to coax them back out. Sometimes with treats.

But with his description, they can picture what they think she must've looked like. Of course, they've already made the attempt before so they could live out some of their fantasies of going back and meeting her. His description isn't so different—and she comes alive very easily in their head. The image of the gruff but loving woman Daisy must've been makes Benrey's throat feel tight, a bittersweet feeling flooding them.

"She used to—Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep, she'd tell me all kinds of stories. I dunno if she made them up or if they were real stories from her childhood, but… they always helped me fall asleep."

Leaning against Gordon, Benrey tries to imagine that. It's so simple in their mind, probably much more stereotypical than what Gordon actually had. He's tucked into bed, blanket pulled up to his chin, and she's sat at his bedside, reading from a storybook. Or, perhaps more accurately—and even better—she'd instead gesture theatrically as she told him her own stories.

For a split-second, they see themself in his place, and it chokes them up even more.

"So yeah, she was kind, but also pretty tough, you know? Whenever I visited, I had to help out. Nothing hard or dangerous, just stuff like feeding the chickens or helping out in the garden. I've already told you how she used to wake me before dawn, but there was always a warm breakfast waiting for me."

The image his words create in Benrey's mind makes them feel even worse, staring down at the screen as tears drip down their face. A warm breakfast… the early morning sun filtering through the windows… a person who loves you there to take care of you, keep you fed and warm and teach you discipline through hard work…

Gordon doesn't appear to notice their reaction, as he keeps on with his tale. "She cooked a lot," he says, "Baked a lot, too. She taught me everything I know about that stuff. That's one of my favorite things about her, she was always willing to listen and answer my questions. I was real fucking curious as a kid, wanted to know how everything in the world worked. My parents, they… Let's just say they didn't really have that kind of patience."

The more Benrey hears about his parents, the more they think they hate them. Everyone should have a Daisy to raise them into adulthood, everyone. It's a crime that Gordon had parents that weren't as cool, that didn't accept him as he is. No one should feel that way.

"Daisy was different. If she didn't know the answer, she made me write down the question, and when we drove into town, we went to the library to look up the answers. I think that—She's the reason I wanted to study theoretical physics. There's so much she didn't know, but she showed me that there're answers if you're willing to look for them."

That's a beautiful way to look at it… Benrey never thought of it that way, but they also don't understand what "theoretical physics" means in order to go getting philosophical about it. Although, in their experience, people who ask lots of questions will one day ask too many.

Gordon isn't like that, though.

"Oh! And she had like… at least fifteen cats." This gets Benrey's attention, peering up at him and getting their heart caught in their throat over the look on his face. It's not about the cats, they know that… the bright, yet melancholic look on his face speaks of a familial love Benrey's never known before. "Lot of them were semi-feral, only a few came in the house. I think most of them were strays that just wandered in and she made sure they got fed."

Hearing that makes them feel odd, but they can't decipher why. All they can parse is that Daisy seems like an endlessly kind woman, to look at any creature in need and think of nothing but helping them. It makes them wonder… what would it be like if… if they'd…?

"She never had any partners," Gordon says. "Not that I know of. She always said she didn't have the time for stuff like that. She was always on the move, always doing something. I don't think she was lonely, though. She had friends, a knitting circle… but I know they really just played poker. So uhh… yeah. Not very princess-like but, she was still kind of amazing."

"Not a princess," Benrey says, speaking up immediately despite the knot in their throat. They look back down to the game screen as they say, "Queen Daisy."

There's a chuckle coming from above them. "Yeah," Gordon softly agrees, "Queen Daisy." 

"That makes you… prince," they say, a mumbly quality to their watery voice. "Prince Gordon. And I'm your… cool, uh, cool… cool guy prince, help you become King."

Though Gordon laughs again, there's something in his voice, now, that makes Benrey look back at him. His forlorn gaze is back, only now, his eyes are brimming with tears, their own widening in surprise. But he merely smiles down at them, quickly wiping his eyes. "Sorry, I—Talking about her like this, I haven’t… not since she died. I just… I just miss her so fucking much, sometimes."

Having never experienced the death of a loved one, Benrey can only imagine what he must be feeling. They've loved and lost, but… not in the way that someone close to them died, where they had to immediately come to terms with the fact that there's just no getting that person back, ever. Not even a sliver of hope.

What they're feeling instead is similar, in a way, but a lot different too. They're mourning a loss, not of a person, but of the childhood they'll never get to have. There's no shrinking down and acting cute to get someone to raise them a second time, not when they have an adult mind full of so much trauma and, well, adult things. It just doesn't work that way. Hearing Gordon talk about Daisy, reliving their fondest childhood memory, it opens up an old wound that leaves them feeling raw and… small. So, so small.

"Can I… tell you something?" Benrey asks. "Since we already being sad."

"Yeah, of course," Gordon says, leaning his head atop theirs where they can feel his every breath against their skin. "You can tell me anything, babe."

Taking a slow breath, they try their best to get their thoughts in order, so what they say will end up making sense.

"This is weird, but," they start, resting their head on Gordon's chest. "I remember being born. Sort of. Like I started being when I wasn't before. And there was… I was on Xen, and… no one… I was alone."

They barely remember it. Most of their memories are so crisp, like a bunch of videos they can replay whenever they want, but these ones are a huge blur. They might have thought it wasn't real if not for their return to Xen later in life, those familiar stars and that aqua blue glow and all the floating islands. Not to mention how the air made them feel.

"Didn't think about it much," they admit. "Until you got all sciency about clones and flocks and stuff and then I… freaked. Kinda thought I was one of a kind, glitch in the system. Now I wonder… was left behind, or… sole survivor… idk."

There's a lot that they're trying to say, but the words get jumbled. They remember when Gordon called the three of them a family—distress flooding them as they were suddenly faced with the fact they'd never had one before, that they'd been born alone and raised alone despite having always wanted something else, someone like Daisy to tell them stories and take them to the library. So, then… if what Gordon said was right, if they're "flock" creatures, then why had no one "flocked" to them?

Hard not to feel like something's wrong with them. Maybe they were born wrong? Left behind to die, or something. It's not like they would know. There's no one else to reference but them and an alien that came from them, so who knows? Maybe they're defective somehow.

"I don't think you were abandoned," Gordon muses. "Maybe—At least not in the way you're thinking of. Think about it, why go to another planet to abandon your kid? That doesn't make any sense. And maybe—Oh, what if you were a colonizer? You don't need more than one of you to create more of you, so being sent to a planet alone wouldn't be a problem. And you can shapeshift, right? That's why you look like this, you took the form of those around you to fit in better."

As Gordon explains, Benrey stares down at the GameBoy screen, their hands rubbing across the soft fabric of their jacket. They do their best to listen, needing some time to properly conceptualize all of it, but despite that, he makes it easy for them to grasp.

"So, like… think about this. You're sent to Xen in an egg, or something. You're born, and you're supposed to die a few times because you're new, and haven't really understood how everything works. But that's okay, because you respawn and when you get back you have a bunch of new buddies, a flock of Benrey's. But you never got to do that because Black fucking Mesa came and fucked it up, took you away and destroyed the skeletons because they were idiots and didn't figure out were they were for. That makes much more sense to me. Benrey, you were on a mission to colonize the stars."

Hearing all this makes Benrey feel more important than they ever have before. Important on a grander scale. Though, there's no guarantee any of what Gordon just said is true, but they want to believe it anyway. Makes this… light, glow brightly in their chest, chasing away all the melancholy. Metaphorically, obviously.

"Oh," they say. If they'd been allowed to multiply and grow the way they were supposed to, with no concept of "family", it wouldn't matter that they'd been left there alone. It's only because they've learned how human relationships and familial structures work that they long for that sort of thing. Doesn't make it suck any less, though. Everything would've been better if they'd had family around to protect them from human scientists.

Yet, if they hadn't been captured, what would their life look like? Would they be futzing about on Xen hunting and fucking for the rest of their days? No video games, or movies, or… anything? It sounds miserable.

The price of having human creations to fuck around with was… pretty fucking steep, though. No matter how they look at it, everything about their past comes up bleak as fuck. Makes them wanna stop thinking about it, hopefully forever. Just take peeks at Daisy's Farm and pretend nothing else ever happened.

"That's pretty cool, yeah," Benrey says, their voice growing dull. The allure of their "mission" has already lost its luster, for all it fucked up their childhood. "Well when I take over the earth I won't kill you I guess."

"You guess?" Gordon laughs, as Benrey picks the Game Boy back up, a slight smile playing at their lips. "Does that mean there'll be other aliens, like Benny? You could make a whole city of them, if you wanted to. Just, uh, don't be reckless about it…" That Benrey would have to die to create more appears to dawn on him, a grimace on his face when Benrey glances over their shoulder at him. They pat his knee before unpausing their game.

"Could, yeah," they say, though they don't really wanna think about that right now. Especially not if Gordon's gonna be lusting after the other aliens like he is with Benny. That thought is what has them blurting out, "So would you wanna fuck all my skeletons or just the first one?"

A laugh bursts out of Gordon, wiping that awful frown off his face and making Benrey smile wider, already forgetting why he's laughing. "I don't know," Gordon says. "Maybe I would. I could get me a whole harem of sexy emo boys with tentacle dicks. Who wouldn't want that?" The smile on Benrey's face grows strained at his answer, not wanting to show how they really feel about it. "As long as I can be with you, I'll be happy." And just like flicking a light switch, the brightness in Benrey's smile returns.

"That's pretty gay, m—" they start to say, getting cut off by Gordon's lips crashing over theirs. Lashes fluttering, they melt into the kiss, their hand resting against his cheek where their thumb rubs against his skin. Skeleton army or not, they want to keep Gordon to themself, like a King on their throne with Gordon laid across their lap.

Realistically, they don't want to share Gordon with dozens or even hundreds of people, but they're not about to go completely feral killing their own spawn out of possessiveness. Makes them wonder. If all their skeletons inherit their love for Gordon… hmm. Gonna be learning heartbreak young, they suppose. Or maybe there's something that could be done about it?

"Told you," they breathe as their lips part from his. "You're my guy. Always on my mind, wonderin' what you'd look like grown. Didn't picture you this smokin' hot though, wow."

"Oh, that's what you meant by 'your guy'," Gordon says. "I thought you meant I was your type or something."

"You are my type, dummy," Benrey says, blowing air directly in his face so he flinches and leans away with a laugh. "You're also my guy."

Conversation tapers out after that, as Benrey continues playing the game with Gordon cradling them in his lap. He makes little comments here and there, pointing things out to them as they tell him not to backseat game—just to follow his advice anyway. It's a soft and tender moment, but Benrey's having trouble enjoying it. There's this anxiety brewing in their gut, too many thoughts swirling around in their head that can't be swatted away with video game apes.

What if Gordon leaves them for Benny? They're the objectively better choice, especially once they start talking and saying all the right things. It wouldn't be the first time. Benrey's not good, they've never been good, and he'll get fed up eventually. Especially once they stop being the only option.

Those thoughts lead to others, leading to others, and others, and others, until they feel another breakdown coming on. It's in the middle of a level they've been failing to complete over and over that they turn the game off very suddenly.

"Hey," they speak up before Gordon can investigate what's going on. "We should… do something. Can't, uh, waste entire trip being sad, right? Isn't there other stuff you wanted to do."

"Uh… well, there's plenty of things, but… are you sure you wanna leave right now? What about your game?"

"Whuh, s'like… uh… pin it. Come back later. Too many sads, don't you wanna, you wanna go… be stupid? Get whacky? You wanna get whacky or are you normal?" Their nonsense ramble is making Gordon laugh, so they think they've gotten away with it.

"Alright, well… let's see… always wanted to surf down the escalators… oh, but there aren't any here. Uh, we could… oh, we could fuck with the PA, blast some of our favorite songs."

"Whoa, yes? Yeah? Can we do that?" Benrey says, excitedly jumping up on their knees and turning to face him, their arms draped over his shoulders. "Whoa, you wanna go monkey mode? Break a window maybe?"

Gordon laughs at their suggestion, that warm chuckle that makes Benrey all tingly inside. "Sure, yeah," he says, placing his hands on their hips. "Think there's a sports store we could get into if you want a bat or something. We just gotta be careful so we don't attract any unwanted attention—"

The words have barely left Gordon's mouth before Benrey's gotten up and tugged Gordon to his feet. What they need is stimulation, and a lot of it. The Game Boy gets left behind on the front counter as the two of them leave, prepared to double back and grab it when they're done coping with some mindless destruction. It'll be fine. It'll be so fun, in fact, and he's gonna love it.

Chapter Text

Gordon's still reeling as they step out of the GameStop. While playing video games has calmed him down, it's still a lot to take in. Not only did he know Benrey as a child, but it was Black Mesa that separated them. That's the part he keeps getting stuck on, remembering how Benrey had wailed in his arms, telling him how they begged not to be taken away. He despises Black Mesa for doing that to them, and the fact he was once part of that organization makes his skin crawl. It's a good thing Benrey suggested trashing stuff, because there's an anger inside him he needs an outlet for.

"What's first?" he asks, a smile on his face despite the dark thoughts occupying his mind. 

"Music," Benrey declares. "You think we can blast," they pause to dig out their CD case, flipping through it to show him the Quiet Riot CD contained within, his smile turning into a grin. "This over the PA? I want a soundtrack to my delinquency."

"Man, who gave you such fucking amazing taste?" Gordon marvels. "Fuck yeah, we can hook this up to the PA."

After some searching, he spots a service entrance beside the GameStop. The McDonalds he'd worked at had been in a mall, so he has some idea of how the back corridors in a mall work, and he knows it'll take him to the PA system.

After Benrey unlocks the door for them, they're able to head inside. The corridor is lit by a cold fluorescent light, the floor made of a linoleum that doesn't look like it's been replaced since the place was built. The air also smells like trash, and Gordon nearly gags, hurrying Benrey along until they reach an elevator. 

Luckily, it's in working order and doesn't need a key card. Soon, they find their way into the office overlooking part of the mall, which also doesn't look like it's been renovated since sometime around the mid-eighties. Sure, the computers are modern, but the rest is all yellowing plastic and worn down carpets.

While Gordon looks around for the PA, Benrey rushes forward to press their hands to the glass window looking down upon the mall below. With a smile, he leaves them be.

It takes some time to locate the PA, and even longer to puzzle out how to operate it. Gordon isn't much of a tech guy, and while Benrey could probably jailbreak a PS4, that won't help them here. The audio player itself is still an old analog with a CD tray, probably too expensive to change the whole thing. God bless capitalist America. After figuring everything out, Gordon gives Benrey the honor of pressing play. Soon, the first few riffs of Mental Health start echoing throughout the mall.

"Now I feel like I'm in a proper eighties movie," Gordon says with a grin. "Only need a headband to complete the look." Nevermind that the ridiculous t-shirt Benrey gave him kinda destroys the image he's describing. 

"Yoooo I could KILL someone to this hahaha," Benrey says with a slightly maniacal laugh, their hands pressed to the glass again. "Let's hit that place," they point to a spot down below, a sporting goods store from the looks of it. With a toothy grin, they give Gordon a playful shove and say, "Race you," before taking off towards the elevator.

Gordon barks a laugh before sprinting after them. He knows Benrey's humoring him by keeping themselves at a human speed, but his competitive side kicks in anyway, and he does his absolute best to catch up to them. It's a lost cause, of course, and when he stumbles into the elevator Benrey is already there, grinning at him like a shark. 

"You're such a cheat—" Benrey doesn't give him the time to finish his complaint, grabbing him by the front of his jacket and pressing him up against the mirrored glass of the elevator. A surprised moan escapes him, which Benrey takes advantage of by shoving their long tongue as deep inside his mouth as they can. Boxing him in, he feels their hips grind into his, and despite having gotten laid barely an hour ago, his dick springs to life. Either this is the effect of the honeymoon phase, or he's ingested far too much orange sweet voice lately.

A groan escapes him as they grab his ass, his hips rolling to meet theirs. Just as he's getting into it, the elevator dings, and before he knows it Benrey's left him hot and panting while they sprint ahead. 

A beat passes before he knows to follow, something deep inside him telling him to run and chase. Humans are hunters, after all. He sprints across the polished floor, at times coming close, but never close enough to catch Benrey. Skidding around a corner, he sees them disappear into the sporting goods store, his blood pumping hot through his veins. There's a thrumming beneath his skin that tells him to go, follow, hunt. Before he knows it he's followed them into the store, his eyes darting around in search for them among the shelves.

"The fuck did you go, you absolute tease?!" Gordon shouts, a hint of laughter to his tone. "Come back here and finish what you started!"

Benrey doesn't take his bait. So it's a game, then. Fine. They'll definitely cheat, but that only means Gordon has to try even harder to find them.

And so the search is on. He keeps quiet as he creeps through the store, which he's aware is unnecessary since Benrey knows where he is no matter what. But sneaking is half the fun, and he's enjoying himself immensely, tip-toeing around and jumping out of corners in hopes of being allowed to catch Benrey. No such luck, however. After a while Gordon starts to wonder if they're even here. 

He's just about to give up when someone grapples him from behind and pushes him up against a wall. Panic jolts through him, momentarily afraid they'd missed a zombie and it just got the drop on him. Of course it's nothing so nefarious, and the familiar press of Benrey's hard body against his back has him pull in a surprised gasp.

"You want this? Huh, pussy?" Benrey taunts, their voice taking on a quality both rough and slightly manic at the same time. "Get your blood pumping, get your dick hard. Wanna break something, get that testosterone flowing? Maybe grab a weapon, idiot."

Benrey's words wash over him like hot water, making heat pool in his stomach. It's true, he does want to go wild, to grab something and smash it to pieces. As the music sings about banging his head, Gordon feels the sudden need to bang things in general.

The pressure at his back vanishes, teleported away by the feel of it, and it's like they take his breath with them. Before he has the chance to regain it, there's a loud crash that has him whipping around in time to see Benrey kick over some racks of soccer balls. They whoop and cheer as the rack goes crashing into several others, destroying everything too weak to withstand the weight of several metal shelves toppling over one another.

"I DO CRIME NOW!" Benrey yells with a maniacal cackle, pulling out a metal bat and swinging it as hard as they can into a nearby mannequin, hitting it with such force that it flies across the room and crashes into a nearby display with a satisfyingly loud sound.

Watching them creates this buzzing under Gordon’s skin, enhanced by the bass from the music still streaming out of the speakers overhead. Looking around with wild eyes, he finds some motorcycle helmets with dark visors. In a moment of inspiration he puts one on, mind swimming with images of the faceless killers Benrey likes so much. That it'll also protect him from losing an eye doesn't even factor in. Finally, he grabs a wooden baseball bat and gets to work.

"Want me to fuck some shit up?" He shouts, flipping down the visor of his helmet and stalking up to a glass display case. "I can fuck shit up."

Firmly planting his feet on the ground, he grips the bat, rearing far back in a stance that would've earned some praise from his high school gym teacher, smashing the case into a million glistening shards. The sound's muffled, but the feeling sends a shockwave through his body, crackling like electricity below his skin. It reminds him of the feeling he'd gotten watching Benrey fight earlier.

Only now, Gordon's invited to join in, and he doesn't have to watch from afar. It's an amazing feeling, spurred on by his anger towards Black Mesa. More than anger though, he feels free, like he could do anything! A laugh rips out of him as he slams his bat into another pane of glass, one after another, shelves toppled over and racks torn down from the wall.

The cacophony joins the sound of Benrey's own destruction nearby, causing even greater property damage with their talon-like claws. The instant he glimpses them, it sends a jolt directly to his dick, even as a bolt of fear runs down his spine. They've grown bigger—nothing like the beast that rampaged the streets earlier, but grown to an imposing height. Fabric is ripped to shreds, mannequins brutally dismembered by hand before getting chucked through the windows which shatter in a brilliant display of violence.

Not wanting to be outdone, Gordon finds a pair of scissors to stab every ball he can find scattered around the store, watching in satisfaction as they pop and deflate. While not as brutal, it's fun regardless, and he gets so drawn into the task that he doesn't notice what Benrey's up to, if they're even still here.

Until a large hand grips his neck, and he's thrown down amongst the tattered strips of fabric strewn about the floor. There's a moment of panic, except this time, he isn't comforted by the sight of Benrey's warm, honeyed eyes, but a featureless hockey mask. A panicked gurgle escapes him, hands shooting up to claw at the hands holding him by the throat. It's the feeling of their hands in his that's so familiar, the scream threatening to break free morphing into a gasp, then a moan as Benrey rocks their hardness against him.

Despite knowing who it is, the fear doesn't fully leave him. They've yet to speak, and without seeing their face he only has their behavior to go by. He knows it's them, it can't be anyone else. But behind the dark visor of his own helmet, the world grows distorted, Benrey's features shrouded in darkness, the curls falling over their shoulders like tendrils stretching out towards him. The doubt has fear welling up inside him like a clogged sink.

This is wrong. The helmet that once felt like a protective barrier is suddenly claustrophobic. With Benrey's hand around his throat, Gordon feels like he can't breathe. Gasping, he starts to writhe beneath Benrey's weight, sucking down a mouthful of air as he fumbles for the helmet and chucks it off.

Suddenly, the pressure around his throat is gone, replaced by a soothing hand rubbing at his tender skin. "Shit. You okay?"

It's Benrey's voice that brings Gordon back from the verge of a panic attack. He wants to cry and hates himself for it. They're having fun, destroying things like wild animals. Why does he have to be weird and ruin things? Why is he afraid? It's Benrey, his Benrey! It's stupid, so fucking stupid.

"M-Mask," he rasps. "Take it—Take it off." 

Benrey doesn't hesitate for a second. The mask is ripped off without a care, mussing up their hair as they launch it hard enough that it cracks against a toppled shelf corner. Gordon winces at the sound, glancing at it before looking back up at Benrey. Their face is flushed, strands of hair falling into their eyes. The sunny glow is what finally calms him. They're warm, soft… concerned. This is Benrey. Not even his stupid brain can argue otherwise. 

Grabbing onto Gordon's hands, Benrey directs them up to their face. "It's good," they reassure him, stroking over the backs of his fingers with their thumbs. "Just Old Man Jenkins, woulda… gotten away with it too."

Despite whatever joke they're making, Gordon sees the alarm in their eyes, and he wants to reassure them that he's okay, but that's a lie. Fear has warped his perception, and not for the first time. Certainly not the last, either, and that kills him inside, to know that this will likely happen again. That they'll look at him like this again. That he'll ruin their fun again, all for stupid shit like this.

But how can he express any of that without upsetting Benrey anymore than he already has?

"Hi," he breathes. A joke should suffice. A smile and a laugh so they won't worry so much, that this isn't such a big deal. The sound that comes out of his mouth sounds more like a sob than a laugh, though. "Fuck…" 

Benrey's going to misunderstand, think they've done something wrong. When it's Gordon who's wrong, Gordon who's stupid and weak. He hates that they're looking at him with such worry, that their touch is so gentle. He doesn't deserve it. Doesn't deserve the sympathy. 

"Sorry," he says, pushing up his glasses to hide the tears threatening to spill. "Stupid ass prey response. I know it's you! I have object permanence!" The last part comes out as a frustrated groan. Suddenly, the whole day's worth of events start to weigh down on him, and he finds himself utterly exhausted. "Guh! You win. You caught me. I'm a small terrified little thing and now I'm your problem. You can start by cuddling me. Gordon needs pets." 

Good, he's managed to get some humor back into his voice. This is easier, to let himself be small, vulnerable and pampered rather than pretend he knows what the fuck's going on inside his brain.

"Gordon," Benrey says, smoothing their hands over the sides of his face. He has to stop himself from batting them away. He's allowed to want to be touched. "You didn't do anything wrong. 'S me bein' weird, my dumb kink shit, even though you said you didn't want it. The Jason experience. Sorry."

Guilt wells up in Gordon's throat as he stares up at them with wide eyes. "Fucking… no, Benrey. I wanted to—It was fun. All this," he gestures towards the destroyed store. "I needed it too, I just… I wasn't prepared for—It doesn't matter."

"You matter," Benrey's quick to say, and the words are enough for the tears to overflow in Gordon's eyes. 

Luckily they don't say anything more. Instead, they kiss his temple, then his brow, down to his cheekbone where they lap up his tears before trailing down to the corner of his mouth. Gordon lays still as they do this, only moving to kiss back when they finally reach his lips. While still feeling like crap for having ruined this moment, it helps knowing Benrey isn't mad or annoyed with him because of it.

Strong arms wrap around him, lifting him up into the air. It's only now that he realizes Benrey's yet to shrink back down to their normal height. It's actually really nice. Even if they're far from as big as they were earlier today, it still makes him feel small, in a good way. Which is a feeling he could really use right now. 

"This is good," he tells them. He doesn't explain further, and though they glance down at him with a blank look, they don't ask him to. As they carry him out of the store, he presses closer, wraps his arms around their neck to nuzzle into the skin there. It smells like Benrey and that calms him down further.

Soon enough, they reach somewhere to stop at, where Benrey places him down on the lip of the fountain by the entrance. Here, they take off their black cardigan to drape over his shoulders, and he pulls it tighter around him. It feels like something you should do, shock blanket and all that. Were they trained to do this? What were they trained to do, besides pushing buttons and asking for passports? The thought is wiped away as they lean down to press a kiss to his lips.

"Gimme a sec, brb," they speak low into his lips, before teleporting away. Gordon's left confused as to why, until suddenly, the music stops. The mall's once again filled with a quiet that feels almost eerie now, filled with nothing but the steady ambience of the fountain water.

Sitting here with this silence is unnerving, the fear building inside him with every second he's left alone here. Though he does his best to battle it down, it isn't until Benrey pops back in beside him that he's able to relax fully. Tugging their sleeves down over their knuckles, they sit down beside him, placing an arm around his waist. He leans into them, tucking his head beneath their chin.

For a while, no words are spoken. Benrey's thumb rubs over his side, their thin lips pressing kisses to the top of his head here and there. He wishes he could listen to the flutter of their pulse, but they don't have one. The best he gets is the soft puff of their breaths.

"I liked it, smashing stuff with you," he eventually mumbles. "Even liked the whole big, feral thing you had going on. It's hot. Like earlier when you were hunting those peeper puppies, I—I liked watching you. It's just… When I couldn't see your face, I…" He trails off, licking his lips before burying his face into Benrey's shoulder. "You can't just do that, man, I thought—I have to know it's you. So much keeps scaring me, you can't…"

"No masks, comprende," they say, reaching up to stroke his hair. "Sorry. Don't wanna be bad, friend. Wanna be good. No more scary. Got carried away… no excuse, dumb shit. I'm sorry."

It feels bad hearing them apologize like this when Gordon still feels like it's all his fault. But now that he's several degrees removed from that situation, he's able to think more clearly about why Benrey's so insistent they've done something wrong. He still thinks he should have been able to handle it, though. That he should've been able to tell them to knock it off. It's not like he's scared of Benrey anymore… right?

"Can go beast mode on another mall, later?" Benrey offers. "No mask, just me, uh…" They pause for a second. "Seven feet tall. Or more. Fuck like stupid on the floor. Whatever you want."

Benrey's suggestion sends a shiver down Gordon's spine. There is something very alluring about having Benrey chase him down with the sole goal to fuck him. Maybe with the proper preparations, when Gordon can get into the right mindset that it won't scare the fuck out of him like this did.

"Maybe—Maybe we could try it outside?" Gordon says. "You could grow as big as you want. We just have to make sure the area is secure, and then… you wouldn't have to hold back. I think—I think I'd like to see that sometime. Like when you fought the Golem Ape. I was scared then, but I wouldn't be now."

Another shiver goes up his spine at the thought, and he presses a little closer to Benrey.

"Or, I mean, I think I'd still be scared, but in, like… a good way? Maybe. I dunno. I'm weird. Monster fucker energy." A laugh escapes him, cheeks heating up from having admitted that much. "It's your fault for making me like this. I was almost normal before, you know. Only watched some weird hentai. Then you showed up all fifteen feet tall, tentacles all over, glowing eyes and sharp teeth and now I get off on the thought of my boyfriend hunting me like a deer through the woods." 

"Think… you were always a perv," they tease, kissing the top of his head. "You and your uh. Bad Dragon Twitter follow."

The teasing has Gordon laughing, wriggling against their hold as they start to shower him with kisses. The worst part is that they're probably right. If you're "normal", you make do with some tentacle porn on a Saturday and call it a night. Not him, though. No, he only needed to hear that his nemesis had tentacles before he was bending over begging to be taken then and there.

He can almost sense when Benrey stops teasing and starts mulling his suggestion over. There's this shift in the air, Benrey's soft stoner aura giving way to something more primal and dark. That it doesn't spark more fear inside him is a relief. Or, at least, the same kind of fear. This is excitement, anticipation, like riding a rollercoaster up to the top of the track. There's the adrenaline rush as your body prepares for danger, at the same time knowing you won't get hurt because you're strapped in and kept safe.

That's the kind of fear he wants to give into when he's with Benrey. The one that's fun, crazy, and makes him giggle instead of cry.

"Is it… can I be big now?" Benrey tentatively asks, their fingers nervously flexing. "Trial run, uh, fifteen day money back guarantee… just a little big as a treat? See how you feel, get comfy cozy. Do whatever you tell me to. Whatever's good."

It's a good thing Benrey's the one to suggest it, because Gordon's been thinking about that, too. If he could handle it, if he would like it. Once upon a time, the sight of Benrey so big had terrified him on the spot. Now? Well, he's seen them stretch out a few times and handled it just fine. Surely he can handle it now.

"Yeah," he breathes, face still hidden in their shoulder. "Do that, just… wait, can you hold me while you grow? Is that a thing, or will something bad happen?" Lifting his head, he looks up at Benrey, watching them chew their lip.

"Uh, it's kinda weird. If you… close your eyes, less… weird?"

"Alright, eyes closed," he says, even if his natural scientific curiosity demands otherwise. "I promise not to peek."

Benrey pops their lips, looking around the room for a moment before saying, "Okay. Uh… hold on tight, please."

Chapter Text

The feeling of Benrey growing reminds Gordon of being in an elevator. Gravity presses down on Gordon as he rises up, and up, and up, cradled first by Benrey's arms, then only one, and finally, one massive palm that just keeps expanding outwards. Only once that feeling ceases to be does he open his eyes, looking around to find Benrey laid on the floor curled up like a dog in its house, hand held close to their face. Their nose is roughly the size of his whole body, and when they breathe, the puff of air ruffles his hair and blows their cardigan right off his shoulders.

"This good?" they ask. 

"Yeah, this—Woah you are so fucking big right now," Gordon marvels, unable to stop touching their giant face. This is even bigger than the size they took on earlier, and now he has time to really take it all in. Like this, he can see just how smooth Benrey's skin is, almost like it belongs to a doll. He runs his hands over their sharp nose, leaning in to press a kiss to the bridge. He rests his head against it, hugging their nose the best he can as a low purr starts to fill the air.

Though he doesn't remain there for long. There's too much to explore, like the shape of their cheekbones and how it feels to brush his lips against their wide expanse of smooth, cool skin. All the while, he feels the weight of their gaze upon him as he explores.

Soon, he's reached their lips, feeling out the texture, every little mark where they've been biting down. Though their lips are thin to the point of being nearly nonexistent, so inevitably, he ends up with his fingers dipping between their lips to get a better feel for them, which only leads his brain down an entirely different tangent as he feels the moisture on his skin. Crouching down, he wriggles his hand inside their mouth.

"Open up," he says. "I wanna see what's under the hood."

The gust of air from Benrey's ensuing laugh is subdued, all too aware of how it would affect him. "Yes, sir," they say, mumbling so as to avoid moving their mouth too much.

As Benrey opens their mouth up wide, Gordon feels like he might not have thought his request all the way through, because the sight of their sharp teeth has a jolt of fear lacing through him. The instinctual prey response urges him to flee from such a dangerous beast, but he manages to repress that urge. It's only Benrey, and Benrey would never hurt him.

As the fear dissipates, it leaves room for curiosity. At the moment, the entire inside of their mouth, from their tongue to their gums and even all the flesh leading down into their throat, is a pale, grassy shade of green. Even their saliva is tinted with it. Has it always been green? The wafting scent of green apples hits him as Benrey breaths out, and suddenly it all makes sense.

"Your mouth changes color with your mood?" he asks, forgetting that they can't really answer with their mouth wide open like this. He doesn't need answers right now though, too busy running his hands along their pointy teeth. "That's so cool."

Reaching his arm down between their teeth, he feels along their tongue. The surface is slick, and he can feel the point where the tip forks, his fingers trying to close around one of the pointed tips. This clearly has an effect on them, their tongue changing color like light passing through a tunnel. It shifts canary yellow when his arm reaches inside, then azure blue, before finally turning taffy pink and remaining that way. A soft gasp escapes Gordon when he notices this. The third and final color has him grinning wide, leaning up to kiss the corner of their mouth.

"Can you stick your tongue out?" he requests. For this, he has to move aside to make room as their tongue stretches out past their lips. As it keeps going, Gordon gapes at it, until finally it reaches the tips of their fingers. "Fuck, you—Goddamn, was it always that long?"

Walking across their soft hand is tricky, so Gordon instead crawls over to their fingers to get a better look at the forked tip of their tongue.

"It's so cute!" he exclaims, tentatively reaching out to touch it before gaining confidence and running his fingers down along the cleft, the pink hue turning paler. It's soft, slick, and feels like… well, a tongue, obviously. Just a very big one. Something compels him to bend down and kiss it, instantly flooding his mouth with the familiar taste of strawberries. The taste sends a shiver through his body, a sigh parting his lips as he presses a few more kisses to the tip.

That's when he gets an idea. "Can you… pull it back in, like, halfway?" he asks, looking up at their flushed blue face, pupils blown wide. They obey without hesitation, and he follows it, crawling forward to where he can sit in the middle of their hand with their tongue hanging in front of him. "Lift it a little… yeah, like that."

With the forked tip of Benrey's soft pink tongue hovering at face height before him, he grins, leaning forward and opening his mouth. Even just one of the two tips is too big for him to take into his mouth, but he makes a valiant effort, using his hands to hold onto the rest. As the taste of strawberries floods his mouth yet again, he gives a pleased little hum. Absorbed in the task, he closes his eyes, working his mouth around the tip as his tongue laps up the sweet strawberry flavor, body growing hot as he absentmindedly shrugs off his jacket.

The scent of citrus hits him, then, mingling with the strawberry and coaxing him to open his eyes. From this distance, it's impossible to miss the way Benrey's looking at him like they want to swallow him whole. A dull orange creeps up from the back of their throat, tinting the lower half of their tongue.

He releases them with a wet sound. "Did you like that?" he asks with a pleased grin. "Could you even feel it? My mouth is so small compared to yours." As he speaks, Gordon runs his hands up and down their forked tip, an act meant to imitate something far less innocent. "You taste amazing, like a strawberry milkshake. Wanna make it even? Find out what I taste like?"

The "Mmhmm" they hum comes out strangely when their tongue is hanging out, a bit of drool pooling over the corner of their lip, but Gordon doesn't even need to hear it to do what he does next—dragging his shirt off over his head to toss it aside and lean back, putting the length of his hairy torso on display. A choked noise escapes Benrey, their tongue turning fully orange.

"C'mon," Gordon urges. "It's okay, have a taste, babe. And don't be afraid of telling me what you think."

- ♡ -

"Shit," Benrey breathes, moving their other hand to form a barrier behind their first. Feels more secure this way. Glancing over his body, they lean in close enough for their breaths to ghost over his skin, ruffling each little hair on his chest. They pause, tilting their head to get their nose out of the way before pressing a kiss to his upper body.

"You look so good," they say, leaning in to press a careful kiss to the top of his head as he lets out a startled huff of a laugh. "I love you." They kiss his torso again, over and over all the way down. "Mine, my Gordon…"

Benrey slowly rolls to lay on their front, supporting Gordon with both hands as they swing their legs like they're at a slumber party. Pressing their nose to his chest, they loudly inhale his scent, rusty orange sweet voice bubbling out of their mouth. Each mote lights up their throat, yet they're the same size as they usually are. Pressing their lips to his body again, they let their tongue peek out, lapping at his body from navel to chin and feeling the way he jolts against their tongue.

"Tastes good," they breathe, enthralled by the salty taste of his skin. They pull their hands, and therefore, Gordon, closer, until he's laid back against their fingers. They sniff him as they kiss and lick all over his torso, leaving not a single inch of his upper half untouched, not even the gross parts. None of him is gross to them. He writhes against them, legs falling wide apart.

"G-God—Benrey… feels—Ohhh fuck, ahhh…!" Their tongue glides over the hard buds of his nipples, indulging in their silky texture even if it's much harder to be precise like this.

Gently nuzzling him with their nose pushing up against his body, they say, "Can… more, please? Lemme have more?"

"Whuh… More? Y-Yeah, more, please."

Benrey angles their head to watch Gordon undress, licking their lips as he does so. It's a clumsy show that has them chuckling as he yanks off his shoes and wriggles out of his pants, their gaze full of adoration, a goofy smile splitting across their face. Soon, he's laid bare in their hand, cock hard and leaking against his waist, looking like a dessert spread they can't help but want to taste. What a cute little toy for them to play with.

"Fuck yeah," they breathe, tongue peeking out from between their lips, practically panting like a dog in their enthusiasm. "Look so good."

They bring their hands closer to their mouth, dragging their massive tongue up Gordon's middle like a lollipop, listening to him moan and feeling him tremble beneath them. Low, throaty groans escape them as their tongue explores his body, heavy, quick breaths keeping Gordon's body hot and moist with sweat. Which is even better, in Benrey's opinion.

"Holy fuuuuhhh… fuck, Benrey… soooohhhhh good…"

Having him in the palm of their hand like this sends these tingles up the back of Benrey's skull, their body shuddering with desire. Like this, he's all theirs, a little doll for them to keep and love and take care of forever. Dress him in little outfits, kiss all over his body, suck his tiny little cock into their mouth. They try to do that now, barely getting it past their lips with the size disparity, before licking up his body again. A purr rumbles up from their chest as they nuzzle him, holding him up to their face like the small, cute, precious thing he is. Their nose rubs against his waist while their tongue dips between his thighs, exploring everything they can find there.

It's all so much, they get a little carried away. They know how not to hurt him, and they won't… which is why they don't hesitate, pinning him with their thumb before tilting their hand to dip his lower half into their mouth.

"Whuh—WHOA!" Gordon exclaims as his center of gravity shifts. They wrap him up in their tongue and suck on him like a lollipop, pink and orange tinted drool dripping down their chin. "B-Benrey… aahh—shit that's… oh. Oh God—!"

They can feel his cock twitch against them, legs writhing and feet pressing into their tongue. They're especially thrilled about that last one. Like this, they can taste so much of him at once, push their tongue against his feet, lap at his leaking cock, rub up against his hole. The thought that he's inside them is so titillating it has them moaning around him, their cock achingly hard in their pants, but they ignore that in favor of Gordon. It just feels so right. He's theirs, kept safe and secure in their mouth… they consider swallowing him and the thought is so arousing they moan around him. That's… a new one. Huh.

Slowly, they pull him back out, tongue coiled around him with their tips rubbing at his cock and teasing at his hole.  He's soaking wet and dripping with their orange and pink saliva now. The sight turns them on more than it probably should considering how slimy he looks as a result, his hair all mussed up, glasses foggy. But he's perfect to them.

They give him a full-body lick before easing him back inside their mouth, this time up to the chest. Now they can push their tongue against his nipples as well, caress the shape of his waist and chest, which are some of their all-time favorite parts of his body. The taste and feel of him writhing around inside them, trembling and jerking his hips to rub his cock on them hopelessly turns them on. Their eyes are lidded and dark as they attempt to watch him to the best of their ability, their body burning hot just as his is, flushed a cute red-orange all over his soft brown skin.

They purr around his body, enthralled to have so much of him inside them, far more than the average person could claim. They can feel his every curve, every twitch, every shiver and jerk, and it's driving them mad with lust.

The feeling is clearly mutual—to some extent—with the way Gordon's legs tighten around their cleft, using it to grind against their forked tip as one curls around his cock, the other dipping down towards his hole. It's a little too big to fit inside, but they tease him with it anyway. And they can tell when he's close by the way he shivers and throws his head back, his moans turning to whines until eventually he goes tense in their hold. His cum is barely more than a small splatter against their massive tongue, but they moan at the taste of it nonetheless. They suck at his tender flesh until they're certain he hasn't gotten any of it smeared on him, before popping him back out.

Laying him down against their palm, they gaze lovingly down at the goofy smile on his blissed-out face, his chest heaving and body dripping with their sweet voice.

"Pleased" doesn't even begin to describe how Benrey feels. They're deeply satisfied knowing they've given him an experience he couldn't possibly get anywhere else, made him feel good in a way no one else on this earth ever will, pleasing his whole body, or at least, everything but his arms—they want him to have some control after all—all at once. That he trusted them to do that, desired it and moaned so loud during it, they really couldn't be happier, their purr echoing throughout the mall.

"You look so good," Benrey purrs, watching him lie limp against their hands. "Such a pretty little doll, wanna suck on you all the time, play with you more…"

The idea is really thrilling, actually—Gordon belonging to them in a more material sense, with a collar adorning his neck, maybe some cute little outfits he'd wear just for them. They're not sure what kind of outfits they'd want to see, exactly, they just want to see him all dolled up, red in the face, squirming under their gaze. Maybe some cute lingerie with a collar on. Doesn't really matter, he'd look good in anything.

"Hey," Benrey says, attempting to touch by quirking their finger and gently petting his head, like he's the babiest of baby kittens. Not that they've ever met one. "You good? You want… anything? Give you anything, just name it."

If Gordon doesn't want to reciprocate, he doesn't have to. They'd probably have to shrink down anyway, and unless he tells them to, they don't want to do that. Getting to be big is so satisfying, even if they're not at their full size right now, that they wouldn't give it up unless they knew it'd be worth it. Not so soon.

- ♡ -

Gordon's on top of the world right now. Despite being covered in sticky fluids, it feels victorious, like he's overcome something that once made him so afraid and turned it into a mindblowing orgasm. How's that for coping?

With a gaze full of affection, he gazes up at Benrey's giant face, shivering at the sight of their intense and dark stare. They watch him with such adoration, yet there's also something feral in their eyes, a look that tells him they're thinking about something truly depraved, and he gets a little taste of what, exactly, that is with their words. Pretty little doll, play with you more—Words that make Gordon writhe, his body tingly and hot under their gaze.

Despite being so exhausted and quite literally sucked dry—though there's certainly nothing dry about his body right now—his curiosity is back. What more could they get up to while Benrey's body is like this?

Tipping his head back, Gordon lets his gaze wander along their body, down to the massive tent in their pants that has him biting his lip with desire. Being borderline softcore vored is nothing compared to having your boyfriend's massive cock rubbed against your body. So why not try it?

And Benrey gives him the perfect opportunity, posing their question to put the ball in his court for where this goes next. Gordon's grin is toothy as he pushes himself up, Benrey's thumb gently rubbing against his cheek.

"So… how big is your cock?" he asks, trying his best to look suave and seductive as he does, though he probably just looks like a dazed, horny idiot. "Can you… Let me have a closer look. I'm—You know, I'm all lubed up and ready for it." Definitely not suave or seductive. Whatever. He can hardly think right now beyond his desire to take this as far as he can—Benrey's clearly just as much of a freak as he is, so why be shy about it?

- ♡ -

Benrey feels like they're prepared for just about anything Gordon could throw at them right now. Maybe he'll want a chance to relax. They could curl up like a big cat and cuddle him close to their face, take a nap just like this. Or maybe he wants them to shrink back down and take him somewhere soft, to wipe him down with a towel and go to bed. Or, maybe he wants them to shrink back down so he can suck them off, lavish their body with his tongue in some imitation of what they'd done for him. Or maybe he's just hungry and wants dinner.

There's a lot of possibilities, and Benrey feels like they've done a really good job considering them all, considering how they could take care of him, keep him safe and comfortable. But they made one fatal flaw.

They underestimated just how much of a freak kinkster Gordon is, because rubbing his whole body on their dick was never a consideration. They can't even be secondhand embarrassed or amused by the way he brought it up, not when his suggestion hits them like a—not even a truck, something a million times heavier.

They think about it though, like, really think about it—and they could see themself laying him down flat, maybe in the palm of their hand, and rubbing up against him. That's like taking jacking off with a pair of his underwear to a whole new fucking level. Not that they've ever done that. To Gordon.

Just thinking about it, picturing him laid back like he is now, but with their dick laid against him, has their breaths quickening. But is it safe? Or sane? They can control their density, make it real light, like being squashed by a huge pillow instead of… well, a massive fucking dick. Still, he'll get to feel them, their smooth skin rubbing up against him, precum dribbling all over his body…

"Oh, fuck," Benrey groans. "Yeah, yeah… uh. Hold on."

Carefully, they reposition themself to sit up. Leaning back against a nearby wall, they manage not to crash through the whole fucking thing by making themself weigh hardly much more than fifteen pounds at most. Weighted blanket, fat cat levels of pressure, perfect for laying on people, and, well, leaning their massive form against buildings. They keep Gordon balanced in both hands, being as careful with him as possible while they get situated.

Once they're sufficiently comfy, they reach down, unbuckling and unzipping their pants, groaning as they pull their aching cock out to give it a few cursory strokes. They bring their other hand close by, not super certain about this, but enormously turned on by the sight of Gordon's tiny body next to their giant dick. It's not, like, grain silo levels of stupidly large, but it dwarfs him in every direction.

"Holy fuck, Benrey," Gordon marvels as he looks up the length of their dick, which they're holding to be the same angle as him.

"Do, uh… whatever you want," Benrey breathes. Actually going through with this is a lot different than just thinking about it, leaving them in need of some guidance. "Or… boss me around a lil'…?"

This is easily one of the most surreal experiences of Benrey's life. Watching Gordon observe the length of their cock, hard and leaking purely from the sight of him all wet and messy in the palm of their hand, is doing a number on them.

"I… Move me up a little," Gordon says. "This is already fucking bizarre, so I'm gonna be weird about this."

"Yes, sir," Benrey drunkenly slurs, moving their hand to where Gordon has better access to their tip. It's large, dark, and wet, a big dollop of pale blue precum pearling at the tip. They watch Gordon's chest heave with his unsteady breaths as he takes it all in, an undisguised vision of lust in his eyes that makes Benrey's cock throb.

Gordon's tiny hands smearing their pre sends little jolts of electricity up their spine and over their thighs. Despite his size, this is one of the hottest things that's ever happened to Benrey, and it's not even because of the exploratory touches or the way Gordon fingers at their slit. It's the knowledge of what's happening. Knowing they've got Gordon in the palm of their hand, all to themself, intoxicated with lust, a willing participant in Benrey's wildest fantasies is just a lot to handle. They know what they want to do, it's just a matter of getting Gordon on board with it.

"Hey, you know, I bet I could fit my fingers in here," Gordon's saying as he plays with Benrey's slit, sending a shiver up their spine as they pull in an unsteady breath. It's so precise, like the papercut of sex, and—wait, what did he just say? The sensation of Gordon's fingers pushing against their wet slit has them moaning aloud. "Could probably fuck it, too."

"Oh my god," Benrey blurts out, their thighs taut as they resist the urge to thrust into Gordon's hand, submerge him up to the elbow like the world's most flexible sounding rod. They want it, they need it, but all they can manage are incoherent noises.

To their immeasurable disappointment, Gordon doesn't do any of that. But fuck they wish he would. Their mind runs wild with it, getting all sorts of weird ideas they definitely aren't gonna vocalize, because if he gets too weirded out then they won't get to see the cute cum-drunk look on his face as they do this. So they have to follow along with his rhythm.

"I, uhh… wanna get you off," Gordon says, in between giving their tip a few licks. "How do I… do that?"

A thrill runs through Benrey as he asks that, aware of where this is going next. Assuming he's down to clown with getting a little weird, and they're pretty sure he is. God, they hope he is. They want it so bad they might die.

"Uhhh," Benrey starts, their voice coming out breathy and stuttering. "This—Could you, uhhh… Just lay back, like, like you were… before? Spread 'em real wide, please." Watching him lay back against the palm of their hand, his head supported by their fingers curled upwards as a barrier to keep him from falling off, they pull in a sharp breath and exhale a nervous chuckle. "Whoa…"

Taking themself in hand, they align their dick with Gordon's body, just barely touching him, comparing sizes to get a feel for how they should go about this. The disparity isn't too much, it's like a really, really large man pinning Gordon to the ground, except it's their cock, throbbing in time with their pulse and dripping enough precum to look like someone's dumped half a packet of blueberry yogurt on Gordon's chest.

The breath Benrey lets out at the sight is a little hysterical. "Holy shit," they breathe. "Is this—Can I, can I rub on you? This isn't freaking you out is it."

It clearly isn't with the way Gordon reaches up to touch them, rubbing his palms along the sides of their shaft. 

"I—Fuck, this should freak me out so much. 'Cuz this is insane, right? But… Ahhhhh fuck, you're right. I'm a total freak. This is hot, like, really hot."

"Yeah?" Benrey breathes, anticipation churning in their gut.

"Just, don't crush me or drown me in cum." Benrey huffs a laugh at that, a smirk wobbling on their lips. "Gotta be gentle with your toys. I'm a limited edition, I even vibrate." The dumb little wiggle he does at that just makes Benrey chuckle a little louder, a light, airy laugh escaping Gordon as well. "Well, c'mon. I'm all yours."

Hearing that wipes the smile off Benrey's face, arousal sparking through their body and up the back of their skull like a static shock. Their gut tightens and their breaths grow shallow. "Yeah," they breathe, "You are."

Holding him in their hand and feeling their cock rub up against every part of him has them biting their lip and giving a full-body shudder. He's just so soft and warm, and they can't take their eyes off of him. Can't stop watching him down there, writhing, flushed red all over, looking so cute and pretty with that dark and dizzy look in his eyes, a nervous smile wobbling on his lips. The way their cock pushes against his cheek. The way his mouth hangs open to try and lick their tip every time it comes close. They adore him, so, so much, could stare at him all day, every second, for the rest of their life, and it would never be enough.

"Hahhh, nnnhh, Gordon… Gordon, fuck… ahhh…" They raise their hips off the ground, rubbing themself harder and faster against him. Their precum drips all over him, creating a perfectly slick glide. The sight of him with it dripping down his face and across his chest turns them on immensely, body impossibly hot. "Wanna… fuck, keep you, cute lil' toy, for me… all for me…"

"B-Benrey…"

Feeling him rut against them, rubbing them with his hands, the plushness of his thighs wrapped around them to the best of his ability, it all drives them mad. It takes everything they have not to throw their head back and snap their hips forward with reckless abandon. No, they need to see him, have to watch him, gotta be gentle, can't replace this toy—fuck, they can't even think of him as a toy anymore, it's Gordon, their love, soft and kind and dorky and perfect and so fucking beautiful.

Their heart pounds with the knowledge that they've got him right where they want him, that right now, he has eyes for no one else but them. "Mine, you're mine, right? Bought it, keep it… Say it."

"Yours—Ahhhh, fuck, Benrey…"

There's that feeling again, the static shorting out their brain and making their whole body tingle, gut tight with arousal. "Again, again, please? Please, please, please…"

"I'm yours, Benrey," Gordon breathes, his arms wrapping around them in a weird little hug. And they love that weird little hug, the way he's holding onto them like there's nowhere he'd rather be.

"Love—Fuck, fuck, I love, love you—"

"Love you, love you too," Gordon groans, his head tipped back from the pleasure, thighs held tight around Benrey's cock. "Oh fuck, d-don't stop…"

"Gonna, gonna cum… oh, god…"

The rapid approach of their orgasm has them panicking. Yet as they crash over the edge, thick ropes of pale blue cum splattering against Gordon's body, fireworks across Benrey's body so hard their toes curl and their rust-orange cry of pleasure echoes throughout the mall. In that moment, nothing else really matters than the explosion of pleasure, the incredible relief of release, and the one single, demented thought making it through the cum-drunk haze of their mind, the thought that they've just marked their territory.

Once that feeling passes, they're able to see the end result. Gordon looks like someone's drizzled an entire gallon of blueberry soy milk all over his face and chest. So it's not actually that bad. The drowning concern was avoided.

"Oh…" Gordon breaths, looking down over the mess with a smile wobbling on his lips. Though they can't spot any of his mess amongst all this, his cock's gone soft and he looks real satisfied. "Oh fuck, that's—aahahaha."

Now that they know it's not that big of a deal, the sight of him has Benrey's cock giving a valiant effort to harden again.

"Wait, don't… don't move," they say. It's incredibly clumsy, even more so when their hands are trembling from their recent orgasm, but they manage to get their new camera out. Some shapeshifting is required to operate it but they manage to get Gordon in their sights and snap several pictures. He looks thoroughly fucked, chest heaving, face flushed, and hair absolutely ruined. Not to mention the massive load of cum all over him. "Fuck yeah."

Putting the camera away, Benrey takes a few moments just to breathe, smiling stupidly down at Gordon.

"Wow," Gordon says, exhaling a chuckle. "That was, so fucked up. You're fucking amazing, you know that?" Turning his head, he nuzzles into Benrey's palm. "Love you so, so much you giant pervert."

"What? You're pervert," Benrey manages to get out through their shallow breaths. Gordon laughs.

"Think we're both perverts after all that."

"Both… total freak, wow. Perfect for each other. Soulmates or some shit." Saying something like that might've scared them otherwise, and they'd have backtracked immediately, claiming it's just a dumb joke. In a way, they are joking. It's the tone they're using, after all, like it's a funny haha. But it's not. They've never been this attached to anyone, much less anything. And right now, they're way too blissed out to think about what they're saying. Maybe it's good, because Gordon seems too messed up to find what they're saying too intense, as well. "Man of my dreams lets me jack my HUGE meat off on his tiny body, more at eleven."

That gets a laugh out of him, which draws a purr of pink sweet voice from Benrey in return. They watch him drag his hands through the mess they've made, before sucking the sweet juices from his fingers.

"Whoa, wow," Benrey says as they watch him do it. "Taste… good?"

"Yeah," Gordon says, licking his fingers clean. His eyes are still dazed and he looks about ready for a nap. "Fuck, this is a mess. Didn't really think this one through. How are you doing, big guy? Think you can clean me up?"

Benrey doesn't hesitate, swiftly lifting him up to their mouth. "Yes. Yeah," they say, before drawing their tongue up over him, no longer trying to get him off, though they are indulging. Feeling out the shape of his body, memorizing the salty taste of his skin. They'd rather not try to lick his face, might break his glasses or waterboard him on accident or something. But his body is fair game.

Once they're done, they lower him back down, adoration in their eyes. The sweet voice sticking to his skin is pink now. It's such a pretty color on him. Not what they'd expect considering his warm, autumn color palette.

And now they're picturing him with a pink collar on, pink straps and frills and lace and maybe a few ribbons. They're not sure if that would humiliate him or if he'd own it completely. Either way, it would look nice on camera… hmm. Something to consider.

They lean in to kiss Gordon's head before curling up on their side, where they gently rub him with one of their thumbs, trying to get some of the thick globules of saliva off him. He looks silly, and they can't help but stare. "Wanna bath?" they ask. He usually wants one after they've been frisky, and he's drenched in all sorts of fluids, so it seems like the right time. "Could use, fountain. Got like filters or some shit."

"Noooo, the fountain's cold and I'm warm and cozy and smell like you. Besides, it evaporates by itself, right? So there's no problem." Yawning, he nuzzles his face against Benrey's nose, and they hold him closer against them. "Wanna nap," he mumbles against their skin, pressing a kiss to the bridge of their nose.

"Whatever you want," they assure him. "Wanna… be big for a lil' bit more, that good?"

It sounds like the perfect compromise to them, and they purr gently as Gordon gets settled. There's that baby animal feeling again, like they're cradling a little hamster against their cheek and it's making them feel so fuzzy and content. It's all too easy to get swept away in that feeling, as Gordon's breaths even out and he falls asleep cradled against their cheek.

Chapter Text

As Gordon falls deep into the realm of sleep, he dreams of warmth, of soft, fluttering kisses and a sense of belonging. At one point, he's running, but not because he's being hunted. No, he's running because it feels good, like his body craves it. He's not alone, either. There's another person running by his side—sometimes, that person is Benrey, and other times, it's Benny.

When he finally drifts back to the waking world, the first thing he notices is that he's no longer laid in Benrey's massive palm. Instead, his body is clean and dry underneath his old clothes, and he's wrapped up in a thick cotton duvet. The room around him is dark, and there's a familiar song playing in the background. It takes him a moment to recognize it as Paramore's Misery Business playing at a low volume over the PA. There's a warmth at his back and arms wrapped around his waist, where he's curled up in Benrey's lap as they stare off to their left, gaze vacant. They're normal sized again, maybe a little taller than he remembers given the way he fits in their lap.

"Hey," he says, his voice low and drowsy as he leans up to kiss Benrey's jaw. This gets their attention, turning to look down at him with a vaguely wide-eyed look that he meets with a smile. He reaches to cup their cheek, pulling them down into a kiss. Big boy Benrey sex is fun and all, but not being able to kiss them afterwards is a bummer. "Morning."

"Hey…" Benrey says. "You was havin' those… doggy dreams."

"Mmmh… yeah. Don't really remember… I was running, I think. Not from anything, but… running with friends, if that makes sense. You and Benny were there. Felt good." Shifting, he wraps his arms around Benrey, leaning into the crook of their neck as they hold him a little tighter. "I guess… the dream was about this. Feeling like you belong, you know? I've been feeling that a lot these days, and… do you—I mean, do you get what I mean?"

It's a scary question, and Gordon doesn't even realize that until it's already out there, awaiting an answer.

"Feel good with you," Benrey says without hesitation, much to Gordon's immense relief. "We're entangled, uh, quantum entangled. Our quantums are kissing, bro."

Even if they put it into other words, it's still the same sentiment, causing Gordon to release some tension he didn't even know he was holding. He lets out a soft, breathy laugh at their odd physics flirting before glancing around the room again. Finally, he realizes where they are. It's the office overlooking the mall, with the controls for the PA system.

"Why are we here?" he asks.

"Huh?" Benrey blurts, looking around with him, as if they forgot where they are. "Uh… vibes."

The lights are switched off, leaving them in a dim room with a dark blue carpet and windows overlooking part of the mall. Gordon supposes he gets it. Especially because it gives Benrey access to the PA system to play music from. Said device has been moved, cords stretching to reach the part of the floor they're sitting on, with Benrey's back leaned against the wall.

With a shrug, Gordon starts stretching out, arms raised over his head where his shirt rides up along his waist. Cold fingers rub over his belly, and he jolts a little at the unexpected sensation. Benrey doesn't even pause, feeling him up as he huffs a laugh at their behavior.

"Fuck, I'm hungry," Gordon groans as he melts back into Benrey's embrace again, their fingers playing with the hair on his belly. "We should find Benny and go get some food."

Moments after he says that, the song draws to a close, and… Misery Business starts playing again. Benrey quickly switches off the PA, avoiding Gordon's gaze as they do so, although he thinks nothing of it. Fixating on a music track is something he's done countless times, in particular with Linkin Park's Numb.

"They at… uh, they gaming," Benrey says, pushing the PA away with their hand and then one of their feet. They're not wearing shoes, and Gordon quickly realizes that neither is he. They've both got socks on, at least.

"Oh. They… did they stop by the GameStop or something?" Gordon asks, trying to make sense of it. Benny's brand new, and he has no idea what all they like to do, but it makes sense that they'd like video games. He wonders what kind draws them in.

Though Benrey doesn't answer, Gordon trusts that he'll find out anyway. The two of them get up, getting their things together and shoes tugged on. The blanket is discarded, though.

Taking Gordon's hand, Benrey guides Gordon back downstairs, leaning their head on his shoulder in the elevator, where he turns to press a kiss to their head. Soon, they're on their way, returning to the GameStop they left behind earlier. Quickly, he spots something different about the place. There's a bunch of items stacked on the front counter, from a refurbished PlayStation 2 with all the usual accessories, to the Game Boy they left there earlier, to a bunch of games for both consoles.

Behind the counter, Benny stands digging through the shelves of game discs. Benny raises their head to hum some sweet voice at the two newcomers before going right back to digging. Gordon glances Benrey's way for a translation, but doesn't get one. Not important, then.

As they approach, Benny pulls out a few discs, checking for imperfections before turning to present what they've found, holding them up and spreading them out like cards. They're all the same game—something called My Street, depicting a child playing volleyball on the front. Benrey perks up, letting out a loud, green-pink sweet voice stream before charging forward to snatch them out of Benny's hands.

"How did you know?!" Benrey asks, speaking a little too loud in their excitement.

"Oh, thank god," Gordon says. "I really wanted to find that for you, Benrey, but I had no fucking idea what you were talking about."

In response, Benny's lips part, moving as if to speak but no sound comes out, and they end up clapping their hand over their mouth. In the end, they fall back on sweet voice. The black and orange stream isn't anything Gordon knows, but Benrey seems to get it based on the look in their eyes.

"That was a good try, buddy," Gordon says, patting Benny on the shoulder. "Don't force it, you'll find the words eventually." He leans in and softly kisses their temple, causing Benny to blush and hide their dopey grin behind their hand. "Let's take all this stuff back to the Bed, Bath, and Beyond, then we can go get something to eat. How does that sound?"

Everything gets stashed in a cardboard box that used to belong to some sort of PS4 bundle, and Benny quickly teleports it to join the rest of their stuff in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Gordon and Benrey toss some other games into the box before they do, creating a decent collection. Pretty soon, the three of them are on their way to the food court.

As they head down there, Gordon finds himself in a great mood. Though there's been drama, things seem to have settled down. Him and Benrey got to talk through a lot of stuff, from their shared childhood that has him feeling so much closer to them than before, to Benrey's complicated relationship with their own emotions. It feels like they've reached a point where they understand each other better, where he understands them better. There are still things they need to talk about, like how Benny will fit into their relationship. But that can wait.

Being around Benny again has Gordon suspecting he's forming a crush on them. Though he's only known them as a person for around a day or so, he still feels drawn to them. There's this desire to protect and care for them that he just can't shake off, a feeling that Benny needs him in a way Benrey doesn't. That's not to say he can't or doesn't want to do those things for Benrey as well. But it's hard to rid himself of the notion that they'd be okay without him, that they'd find a way to flourish if he wasn't around to drag them down.

But those things are way too heavy to dwell on now. Things are good! He just had some amazing sex, they're about to make some food, and Benrey seems to be in high spirits as well, tugging him along by the hand as Benny trails behind a step or two. It's an awkward balancing act, trying to match pace with both of them when one is too fast and the other is a little too slow.

The food court isn't quite as they left it. Other than the clothesline by the fountain, there's the table where they shared a meal earlier, now cleaned up, and a countertop with some neatly stacked boxes of non-perishable food items. Mostly spices and seasonings from the various booths. Given him and Benrey have been fucking around all afternoon, there's only one person that could be responsible for all this.

Turning to Benny with a surprised smile, he asks, "Did you do all this?"

Benny opens their mouth, and for a moment, Gordon thinks they're about to say something. Instead, they hum out a single note of sweet voice. 

"That's amazing, bud. Good job!"

Leaning down, he gives them a kiss on the top of their head, completely missing how Benrey has let go of his hand to go investigate the boxes.

"Right," he says, trying not to get distracted by how cute Benny looks flushed purple like that, "What are we in the mood for? I'll eat most things, just not headcrabs."

Looking over at Benrey, he finds them silently surveying the food court. The silence drags on for almost a full minute before they answer his question.

"Let's make some weird pizzas," they suggest. "Can make small ones, mess around. Ruin the sanctity of pizza forever." 

Standing with his hands on his hips, Gordon thinks over the suggestion. Pizza is actually a really good idea. Hopefully there's still some dough to use, maybe some canned marinara sauce and shredded cheese in the freezer. It's been a while since he had good pizza. The cardboard with toppings he'd gotten at Tommy's birthday party sure as hell didn't count.

"Yeah! Let's make pizza," Gordon declares. "But you're too late for ruining the sanctity of it, they did that the moment they put fucking pineapples on it."

Just as Gordon hoped, the Pizza Hut has everything they need. Most of the stuff is premade and stashed away in the fridge, freezer, or a can. He directs Benrey and Benny to grab as much stuff as they can, showing them how to flatten the dough to circles and spread the marinara sauce before setting the two of them loose on toppings.

When it comes to pizza, Gordon's pretty vanilla. He likes a traditional pepperoni pizza, maybe with some bacon and BBQ sauce if he's feeling fancy. Today, though, he tops his 'za with some chopped red onions that are still good. He's twenty seven years old and unfortunately can't live only on fat, protein, and carbs. But onion is a vegetable, so it counts.

Gordon finishes his own pizza quickly, before watching in mounting horror as the aliens—Benrey in particular—proceed to absolutely ruin pizza forever. 

"H-How… Oh god, no, please don't!"

There's actual horror in his voice as Benrey happily pours Skittles and gummy bears over half of their pie before proceeding to sprinkle cinnamon over the other half with a flourish that makes them look like the guy from the pineapple on pizza meme. Gordon's convinced they're doing it on purpose, even if they adamantly deny knowledge of the meme.

The other half is pepperoni, bacon, cinnamon, jalapeno peppers, and red onion, which isn't actually that weird. Gordon might have asked to taste if it weren't for the close proximity to the nightmare that is the candy half. Benrey gleefully calls it "The Reason God Doesn't Talk To Us Anymore" and takes great offense to Gordon gagging at the sight of it.

Benny's is topped with every type of meat imaginable, including chunks of headcrab, with black pepper to top it all off. It's a little gruesome to look at, but at least Gordon can believe their meat abomination is something they're making because they crave protein, not because they want to give him an aneurysm. 

As the pizzas are cooking, Benrey leans on the counter near Gordon, making kissy faces at him. "Will you still love me when I put pineapples on pizza?" they ask. 

"Listen, if I can watch you make… that," Gordon gestures towards the oven where the abominations (and his poor normal pizza) now lurk, "And still not fall out of love with you, nothing will." With a groan, Gordon leans his forehead onto the counter. "I think I have a few more gray hairs now. You better like silver foxes, Benrey."

That comment has Benny swiftly turning to look at him, their soft blue eyes scanning his hair for said gray hairs while Benrey chuckles at Gordon's theatrics. They reach over to pet him, stroking their fingers through strands of his hair.

"Whoa, hot," they purr, "I do have a thing for older men…"

While Benrey proceeds to flirt with Gordon, Benny turns away, eating stray bits of pepperoni and shredded cheese that have spilled out on the counter while they clean up after the trio's mess. They've always been like this, Gordon muses as he leans into Benrey's soft touches, always cleaning and organizing stuff. It has Gordon wondering if the skeletons really are as puppet-like as Benrey initially thought, or if there's more to them. Or maybe Benrey just wanted a maid and the skeleton ran with that programming?

He won't start theorizing too hard about that now, though. It's a sensitive topic, and he doesn't want to ruin the jovial mood the group is in.

While they wait for the pizzas, Benrey drags Gordon to the Dunkin Donuts to get a coolatta for them and Benny, this time both strawberry flavored. He's getting good at making the drink, a skill which he really hates that he has. Sure, it's fun to make the aliens happy, but he'd much rather do it with his own cooking than these evil sugary concoctions—or the monster currently baking in the oven across the mall. These two are lucky they're so cute when they're eating.

While the drinks are being made, Benrey sits on the counter, watching Gordon work while idly talking about Tommy. Just random tidbits—things he's said to them, moments they've shared together, the various times they've watched Tommy work and how focused he can get, not to mention moody and pouty when people bother him too much. It's really adorable to hear about their relationship, and about this side of Tommy that he never got the opportunity to see. 

"Benny," Benrey says, after talking about how Tommy had scolded some scientists for acting out, and they'd all responded like chastised children. "Do You Know Gaming, Tommy? You know that guy?"

The question Benrey poses is an interesting one. How much Benny remembers is a hot button topic he's been wanting to delve into, to learn more about how they work. Not only that, but how much did they inherit from Benrey? Just memories, or feelings, interests, and tastes as well? Which ones? Certainly not all of them, there's already apparent differences in those areas.

But Benrey's love for Tommy is something fundamental to their being. They talk about him like he's this paragon of goodness. Not that Gordon doesn't agree! But does that point to Benny having received those feelings as well?

He watches with bated breath as Benny considers this, before humming one black bubble and pointing at their hair. 

"Yeah, Tommy has black hair," Benrey confirms. The fact that Benny has to specify what color of hair they have seems to indicate that their memories of them aren't as strong. Gordon wonders why. It also doesn't tell them anything about how they feel about the man. 

Benny proceeds to hum purple to white to black, which Gordon is only able to catch when he glances over his shoulder. It's nothing he recognises, but he can see Benrey stiffen at the sight of the bubbles. The swinging of their legs freezes while they stare at the bubbles, tension falling over them as their lips press into a fine line. Gordon finds himself holding his breath, ready to intervene if things are about to go south. 

"Yeah," Benrey says, glancing over at Gordon with a look that says Don't ask about this. "Tommy's pretty great, right."

Gordon quickly looks away. While he would love to know what that was all about, he won't delve any further into it. Benrey will either ignore his question, or it could lead into another fight. It's not worth it to pry.

Something does occur to Gordon, then, though. There's something about the naive and nervous energy Benny possesses that reminds him of Tommy. It's probably why, as he finishes the drinks and hands them off to the two aliens, he tells Benny, "I think Tommy will like you." His comment earns him a shy smile, a warmth spreading in his chest at the sight. 

Glancing over at Benrey, he hopes to get confirmation of this from them, but they're already gone. He finds them halfway to the tables, coolatta in hand. Instinct urges him to call out to them, but he bites his tongue and lets them go on ahead while he grabs a coke for himself.

Taking Benny by the hand, he leads them over to the table that's become "their" table and sits beside Benrey. He makes it abundantly clear that he won't be responsible for the monstrosities they call pizza in any capacity, which has Benny scurrying off to get them out of the oven. 

As for Benrey, they're sitting there staring out into space, silently sipping at their drink as if they haven't even noticed the others came to join them. Gordon can't be sure what's up with this sudden funk they're in, but he'll try his best to comfort them. He starts by wrapping an arm around their shoulder, watching as they glance down at his hand before looking up at him. Their straw rests against their lip, which have parted slightly as their eyes flick over his features.

"Hey, you wanna know something?" Gordon asks in a conspiratorial voice. Benrey doesn't answer, but Gordon doesn't let that deter him. With a smile, he bends down until his lips graze their ear. "I love you," he whispers, before quickly pulling back to catch their reaction. There's more life in their eyes, now, a light blue sheen dusting across their cheeks.

"Whuh… That's gay, bro. You're gay," Benrey says, quickly looking away to stare down at the table.

"Guilty as charged," Gordon agrees, pressing a kiss to their cheek which quickly become several, as Benrey's disinterested attitude soon turns to laughter.

When Benny comes back, it's with the pizzas neatly cut into nice, even slices and placed in some pizza boxes. As they place Benrey's monstrosity down in front of them, Gordon all but jerks away at the sight of it. It looks even worse cooked. The Skittles have all melted, making it look like a unicorn puked all over the pizza.

"Oh god… kill it, it needs to die," he groans into his hands while trying to keep his laughter in check. It's best to not encourage this type of behavior by making Benrey think it will make Gordon laugh. Because it wont! Gordon is biting his tongue very hard to make sure he doesn't.

"Mad you don't have Skittles pizza," Benrey mumbles as they go to pick up a slice.

Before joining them in scarfing down his own, proper pizza, Gordon makes sure to thank Benny for slicing up the pizza. After all, Benrey's clearly too busy stuffing their face to say anything.

Ignoring the sight of that lest he lose his appetite, Gordon picks up a slice of his own. It turned out really nice. The crust is the perfect combo of soft and crunch, toppings blend well together. Even the red onions have crisped up nicely without getting burned.

He offers some for Benny so they can have a taste of real pizza, though they only take a small bite, giving him a polite smile before returning to their carnivore pizza. Gordon tells himself it's because they're a growing boy who needs the protein, and when they're finished turning into a proper shape shifting monster they'll have better taste. Although, looking at Benrey happily munching away on their My Little Pony puke pizza causes Gordon to temper his expectations.

And Benrey is absolutely devouring their candy pizza, leaving Benny to stare at them with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. They opt to focus on their carnivore pizza instead, growling whenever anyone's hand gets too close.

Once the food is finished, Gordon finds himself growing tired despite his recent nap. Today has been a lot. Lots of emotions, lots of strenuous activities. No wonder it feels like he could fall asleep where he sits. 

"Hey, uh…" Gordon starts, wiping his greasy fingers off on a napkin as Benny copies him and Benrey licks theirs clean. "You guys wanna go build that blanket fort we talked about? Maybe lie down and play some games?"

He feels bad making that request, despite how much his body craves it. While he's busy wanting downtime, the others haven't gotten to do much, and what they have done involved a lot of fighting and drama, all because of him. Shouldn't they be exploring and having fun? Instead, he's suggesting they go do something they could do literally anywhere, and it's not even dark out yet.

"My Street?" Benrey asks. "For the Sony PlayStation, two?"

That they aren't complaining is a weight off Gordon's shoulders, allowing him to relax despite the lingering doubt. "Yeah, bud," he says with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Sounds like a plan."

But before they can move on, Benny cleans up their table, refusing to leave until the task is done. Gordon doesn't mind waiting—he even helps out, handling the stuff they don't mind handing off to him while Benrey loudly complains in the background. It's a lot like the pestering of a bossy four year old child, which Gordon's already experienced in dealing with. Even so, by the time they're done, Benrey's already wandered off, leaving Gordon to roll his eyes, take Benny's hand, and follow after them.

- ♡ -

This is dumb.

Seeing Benny again had briefly made Benrey hope for a peaceful coexistence. The other alien's being polite and helpful in a way that benefits Benrey, what with speedrunning them along to getting pizza and video games. All while they were off with Gordon, as it should be. Not the Benny picking up after them part, but the Benny not being around to cuddle Gordon part.

That distance, and all the reassurance Benrey got from Gordon's touch and words and just, all the freak shit that went down… they felt pretty ride-or-die with him. Can't use a bro to jack your seven foot tall cock off on without forming some kind of unbreakable bond.

They're no longer sure, about anything. It's such a contradiction. Obviously, they understand loving multiple people, they've done that before and they're doing it right now. But… Gordon's just so fast, about everything! His opinions can change seemingly on a whim, flopping from intense burning hatred to a blazingly hot romance in the span of a day. And now that Benny's, like, hot or whatever, he's gone from finding them unsettling to having a crush on them!

What's to stop him from changing his opinion again? How long would it take for him to go from loving Benrey like a part of his soul, to despising their very existence again? A day? Less? What would it take?

Maybe they wouldn't care so much about how affectionate he's being towards Benny, holding their hand and giving them little kisses and prioritizing helping them clean, if… if not for what Benny said. Or rather, sang. Purple, white, and black like a wraith. Tommy's the only one who had faith. The only one who defended them, who was never mean to them, who risked his job to give them some quality of life, all while Gordon hated them from the start. Encouraged everyone else to hate them, too, to chase them down and kill them.

It's fucked up and depressing knowing all this. That the love of their life could ever act like that, and didn't go through some epic redemption arc to earn their trust. They just let him in, because… well, that's what they always do, isn't it?

Once they reach the Bench, Bubbles, and Bitches, Benrey's decided to focus all this negative energy into something productive: making the best blanket fort in the world. It's going to have everything! Even those little lights on strings. They saw boxes of them when they were here earlier, and they're excited to see them in real life. 

There's a lot here to work with, which makes it easy for them to redirect their focus away from… nothing, because they're not gonna think about it anymore. No, they're super pumped for some fort building. Nothing else!

Their last fort was incredible, but this one is going to be legendary.

First, Benrey wanders off to gather materials. They consider themself as an expert by now, having built one fort already. The store has a lot of different things to offer, too, and they find themself focusing mostly on texture rather than usability. All bedding needs to be soft and nice to touch. Luckily, there're a bunch of blankets and comforters just like this, which they gather up and bring over to the bed they've decided to build on. There's some plush toys here—a cat, dog, and rabbit—which Benrey carelessly knocks to the floor to make room.

That's when the others show up. It hasn't been long—Benrey basically beelined right to bedding sets and found something good pretty quick. Still, it's been long enough for them to have simmered down, and they don't even care anymore! It doesn't bother them that Gordon's holding Benny's hand. It doesn't make them simmer with a jealous rage remembering how he stayed behind to help Benny clean something that doesn't matter at all. Why would they be mad? It's dumb, real dumb. Petty, even. Which is why they're really fine and normal about it.

There's some words exchanged that Benrey responds to without thinking about it, though they forget too quickly to understand what's happening. Out of the corner of their eye, they see Benny sadly pick up the stuffed animals and cradle them to their chest while Gordon places a hand on their shoulder, the words "It was probably a accident" sticking out to Benrey. The taste of sour grapes burn Benrey's throat, so they wander off to go scream the melody into the first pillow they find. It leaves behind a red-violet stain. They chuck the pillow aside and move on.

When they get back with a box of string lights, Benny's in the middle of sorting through the blankets Benrey brought over earlier. Of course Gordon had to go and involve them in the construction. Well, their tidiness might help, or so Benrey forces themself to believe so they can stop being so negative. This is fun. They have everything at their disposal and the fort's going to be so great.

Still, Benny clearly doesn't know how good forts are made, needing Gordon's instruction. And yet they keep insisting on keeping things orderly. Something inside Benrey worms its way out, and they push something askew just to upset Benny, with a sassy little fake "Oops" and everything.

The glare Benny gives them is so frightening, it chases all of Benrey's fight right out of them. That's not a funny anger, that's just a scary one. Like Benny might claw their eyes out if they do it again.

Gordon doesn't even notice—nor does he notice the way the sudden loss of Benrey's anger has their eyes blurring with tears, quickly turning and darting off under the guise of getting more supplies. At their back, they hear Gordon talking to Benny, but it might as well be in German for how well they can understand the words.

What's happening? This is supposed to be fun. Fun times with their boyfriend, and Benny, who's, like, fine. Nothing's going on. Sure, a couple annoyances have cropped up, but why are they acting like they're all major annoyances? What's wrong with them?

When they open their mouth, a stream of black bubbles flow out. It tastes of blackcurrant and stains their lips like charcoal, prompting them to lick up the miserable juices once they've let it all out. Wandering the aisles out of sight, Benrey quietly hums a soft purple melody to themself, in search of nothing, but needing to keep moving before someone finds them. Because it's fine, really, and they don't need to talk about it.

Once they get back, the fort is halfway done. The canopy still needs to be set up properly and the bed isn't made, but they've missed a lot of work already. Now mostly soothed, Benrey refuses to let this pass them by. With a renewed vigor, they get to work, helping Gordon set up the canopy while Benny sorts through their supplies to make it easier for the others to get to. They're so neat about it, everything having a place in some kind of system Benrey can't even fathom. They don't even tie knots, but little bows instead. It's both annoying and impressive at the same time.

At least they seem to know what they're doing, so when Gordon offers Benny to hang the little string lights, Benrey doesn't protest. They still get to help, it's not like Gordon's kicking them out.

Meanwhile, Benny tackles the task with an almost artistic intent. Several times, after everything's hung up and lit, Benny take a few steps back to observe it only to go back and rearrange it. This goes on for almost twenty minutes, which gives Gordon and Benrey enough time to finish setting up the rest of the fort together. Which is more than fine by Benrey, who doesn't care that much about how the lights hang.

Once they're done, the trio stands back to take it all in. Two big boxy beds make up the sides of it, the back of a display case becoming the third wall. Blankets hang above it to create a canopy, lit by very carefully draped strings of fairy lights. The bed is a comfy mess of fluffy pillows, duvets, and the softest blankets available. There's enough room for all three of them to lie comfortably, with enough space that Benrey could stand on the mattress. In front of the fort is a TV Gordon dragged over and the PS2, perched on a nightstand with controllers at the ready. 

The end result looks cozy as hell. Benrey can't help but take a moment just to stare at it. It's a perfect little nest, showing off each of their talents and tastes in the construction of it. They even have to agree that Benny's contribution made it a lot cozier. It's a much neater and sturdier construction than their last one thanks to Benny's assistance.

It's a testament to just how nice it is that Benrey's able to muster up the excitement to eagerly climb inside and roll around among the soft blankets, just, luxuriating in the feel of them. The lights resemble stars when Benrey rolls onto their back to gaze up at them. Benny actually did a good job, not that Benrey's going to tell them. 

"Hey, Benrey," comes Gordon's voice from outside. "Can you get us some snacks?"

Benrey bites their tongue before snapping at him to make Benny do it. No, negativity left the room, goodbye! It's gone! Besides, this gives them the perfect chance to impress Gordon with their haul, so they give a stupid little salute and a "yes, sir", before teleporting away to raid a few vending machines for sodas, chips, and candy.

Once they're satisfied with their loot, they teleport back to the fort, appearing behind it so as not to startle Gordon. Outside the entrance, now covered with a blanket, he finds two pairs of shoes lined up. Smart move, don't wanna track a bunch of dirt into their cozy little nest. No-clipping out of their own boots, they gently push the blanket aside, being a real gamer about not frightening Gordon again. 

What they find inside the fort has them freezing in place. 

Gordon's sitting with his back to the entrance, oblivious to Benrey's presence. Before him lies Benny, resting on their stomach as Gordon gently strokes their hair, his hand gliding over their soft ebony locks all the way down to their back before repeating the motion. There's a drowsy look on Benny's face as they rub their cheek against the blanket, ankles crossed and legs partially bent upwards. A soft, cooing purr is coming from within their chest, warm pink sweet voice floating in the air above them.

Much like when Benrey had seen their face for the first time, they're struck by how cute Benny is. They seem so sweet lying there, clawed hands kneading the soft blanket. Large blue eyes flick up to look at them, giving Benrey a slow blink as their purr grows louder.

Heat flashes over Benrey's body, warmth flooding their cheeks without them understanding why. On the one hand, they want to dive in and join them, lie down beside them and sleep in a pile, like tigers do. That's how it's supposed to be, isn't it? Based on Gordon's theory about flocks or whatever.

At the same time… seeing the way Gordon touches them has the warmth in their veins turning to ice. He shouldn't be doing that with them. Getting so comfy with someone he barely knows, who doesn't even speak yet. Who knows what Benny's really thinking? They could be diabolical. Even if they aren't, if Gordon keeps looking at them with such warmth, will he eventually realize just how much better being with Benny is than Benrey? What has Benny ever done to upset him, really? They don't throw tantrums and bully him, they're sweet, cute, and helpful, all things Benrey isn't.

Swallowing it all down, they pretend to have just appeared as they speak up at long last. "Whoa, am I interrupting something," they say, not wanting an answer to that question. They try their best to keep their tone dull, concealing the maelstrom of emotion within them. 

Regardless, Gordon jumps at the sound of their voice, and Benrey hates that they can see a brief flash of guilt pass over his face. "Wh-What? No! We're just—" Interrupting himself, Gordon turns to face Benrey. "What snacks did you bring?"

The look on Benrey's face darkens slightly, but they climb in anyway to show off their spoils. Everything's stashed in a cardboard box—bottles of soda, mini-chip bags, chocolate bars, bags of gummy candies, pretzels,basically everything they could find without leaving the mall or turning an oven on.

With everything brought inside, they bend to kiss Gordon's brow, their hand possessively brushing over the mark on his neck. "Gonna set up the gamessss," they say, climbing back out and kneeling down to get everything going; disc in tray, three controllers, memory cards, bingo bongo. They bring each controller back with them, handing Gordon the player two controller, and Benny player three. Based on the way they hold it, they clearly know how it works.

Benrey climbs into the middle, creating a barrier between Benny and Gordon as the game boots up. Benny doesn't seem bothered by this, settling down beside Benrey where their sides press together. If not for the fact Gordon presses close along their other side, leaving them no room to move away, they would've scooted away. But, like, whatever. Benny's soft and doesn't move around much anyway.

"Is this a co-op or versus game?" Gordon asks. "I wanna know how prepared I should be to lose."

"Uh, both," Benrey answers, gaze entirely focused on the game. The graphics are so blocky and the color grading's whack, but that's what they love about older games. It's got charm newer games don't. "There's uh—buncha games, and some of 'em are co-op, 2v2, others are 4-player versus mode. But, uh, there's also…"

Benrey navigates through various menus to bring the game up, where they all get a chance to make their own characters with the wacky options available to them. Benrey's character looks as goth as the game will allow, putting in minimal effort otherwise—they've done this before, after all—while Benny spends a long time perfecting their soft boy lookalike. Benrey had expected Gordon to do something similar, create a character that looks mostly like himself. Instead he picks things seemingly at random, ending up with something that looks like a cursed glitch. The sight has Benrey cackling, their mood lifted with a Herculean strength, while Benny looks horrified.

They explain more about the game as their character runs around the virtual neighborhod, guiding Gordon and Benny's characters. It's all coming back to them. This is one of the first games Tommy introduced them to as part of his PS2 collection, and they'd played a bunch before getting bored and moving on, but it held a special place in their heart for the time they'd spent playing it with Tommy.

Despite being a party game, Benrey instead shows them the park where they can interact with all the playground equipment, fucking around for longer than necessary as Benny gets super enthralled by the carousel. Nearly a full in-game day passes of nothing but fucking around with other parts of the map in a similar way, picking it apart completely as Benrey tells stories of when they'd played this in the past, both by themself and with Tommy.

"We used to just roleplay," Benrey explains. "It's hard to explain but we just understood, and made up stories. He told me about childhood and school and we pretended we were, like, doing all that stuff in the game."

Benny especially seems to enjoy that idea, dragging them all back to the park so they can spin on the carousel again before their virtual, unseen mother calls their characters back home for bed. The following day in-game is when Benrey actually brings them around to play the party games.

"You'll like this one," Benrey tells Gordon without looking away from the screen, instead gently nudging him with their arm so he knows.

It's the chemistry mini-game, which is basically just Puyo Puyo Tetris, pitting the three of them against each other and a bot. Benrey's never been good at puzzles, so they don't bother getting mad when they don't win, instead jokingly trying to gaslight everyone into believing that "That's just what it looks like when you win." Benny isn't any good either, doing worse than Benrey, which causes them to realize Benny doesn't know how to play Puyo. Despite all the negativity they've harbored towards Benny in the past, none of that exists now as Benrey takes the time to explain it to them, starting a new game and letting them win to help them get it.

After the third game, where they all go back to actually trying to win, Benny ends up the victor, while Benrey jokingly complains about "long cons" leading to Benny's victory. This doesn't dim the bright smile lighting up Benny's face, proud to have won, though they start poking Benrey in the face in retaliation for the cheating accusations. 

"At least they didn't use their feet," Gordon teases, poking a sock clad toe against Benrey's leg.

"Uhhh PBBBPPTTT," they respond, blowing a raspberry his way while batting away Benny's hand, just to have Benny start poking them with their feet as well. "Yooo foot harem—Wait noooooooo-uhhh leave me alone I'm gonna get weird…!"

Gordon grins deviously at them, before reaching over to hit the button on Benrey's controller that starts another round of Chemistry. Benrey barely even tries to win this time, instead observing how Benny and Gordon go about playing. Benny's so methodical and careful that they end up winning again.

While heading for the next game, Benrey starts busting into the snacks, starting with the candy and soda. Benny seems absolutely obsessed with a bag of gummy candy and Benrey reluctantly surrenders all of them to the other alien. It's actually kinda satisfying to see how happy Benny is to be given the sugary snacks. Maybe Gordon and Tommy have a point about spoiling people with food.

After that, Benrey shows them the rest of the games one-by-one, playing at least three matches each. There's the traditional Dodgeball game, 2v2, where they take turns playing on each other's teams while the third gets stuck with a bot. Benrey plays hard and fast, though when they're up against Gordon, they use the timer to their advantage, dragging out the match while he complains. This prompts more aggressive plays from him, as he's much more strategic and careful otherwise, making it easier for them to win. Meanwhile, Benny sticks to avoiding the ball and doesn't seem to enjoy being the one to throw it. Their dodge game is incredible, but when they lose their partner, it's all over for them.

The same ends up being the case for the Volleyball game. Benrey loves to spike the ball as hard as possible, while Benny would prefer to give everyone a fair shot at actually being able to bounce the ball back. When playing against Gordon, Benrey always opts for the most annoying plays imaginable to fuck up his strategies. Benny's much better at this game than Dodgebll, making it trickier for the others to beat them. Gordon, especially, seems reluctant to play too aggressively against them.

The RC Racing minigame takes up most of their time. Benrey and Gordon get extra competitive while Benny just tries their best not to crash. Benny ends up the victor several times purely because they aren't participating in the roughhousing Benrey starts up, trying to shove Gordon's face or controller so he'll lose, while he attempts to mash the buttons on their controller to achieve the same.

After that are the Chicken Collecting and Marbles minigames, the first of which Benrey spends most of the game trying to sabotage for their opponents, which ends up gaining them the victory more times than expected. The latter ends up coming between Benny and Benrey due to some bouts of intense focus, both going unusually quiet in favor of trying to control the flow of the marbles to their advantage. It's a close call, every time ending with neither of them being much better or worse than the other.

The final game is, as Benrey describes it, "Splatoon but with Lawnmowers", and makes Benny very stressed out, watching Benrey zoom all over the field while they're trying to make even cuts of the grass. At one point Benrey very deliberately draws a penis in the grass. Benny stops the game then, shoving Benrey's face in a pillow in an attempt to suffocate them, but they just cackle before eventually calling for mercy. At that, Benny huffs, reluctantly releasing them.

After that, it's just Gordon and Benrey facing off against two bots, before Benny rejoins the game to run around the neighborhood some more.

"Ok, you were right Benrey," Gordon admits as they run around the brightly colored map again. "This is a fun game. I get why Tommy showed this to you."

Gordon's appraisal makes Benrey smile, a devious little smirk that shows off their teeth. "Hell yeah, bro. This game is dope," they agree. The fact they're getting to play it not just with Gordon, but with three whole people as opposed to just two, makes the experience even better.

Though the nostalgia hit probably helps too. Feels like they're reuniting with an old friend, getting to wander a place they used to play in all the time, revisit all their favorite spots and mess around. Pretend to be a bunch of kids at the park or beach as Benny and Gordon play along. Gordon's definitely just humoring them, but that doesn't matter.

After a while, they pause their gaming session to scarf down some snacks before they switch games. It's been a few hours since they started after all, so Benrey kicks back against a pile of pillows with their plush seal clutched in their arms, using another set of arms to snack with. As expected, Benny is fussy about crumbs getting all over the blanket, but they're soothed by the promise of shaking the bedding out once they're done. 

Benrey idly chats about games with Gordon for a little while, occasionally reaching over to absentmindedly run their hands through Benny's hair as the other alien purrs contentedly in response. At some point the conversation tapers off and Benrey starts to stare up at the warm glow of the fairy lights overhead, positioned perfectly to Benny's specifications. Even taking the last fort into consideration, Benrey's not sure they've ever been this comfortable and relaxed in their entire life. It's their preferred state of being after all—do nothing, think nothing. Just drift.

But when Gordon flops down with a yawn, Benrey can't help the pang of anxiety they get over the prospect of having to go to bed. They know that's where this is leading, and when Gordon announces it, that only proves them right.

"Man, I'm pooped," Gordon says, as Benny moves to start cleaning up all the snacks. "You guys about ready to head to bed?"

"But… the night young," Benrey protests. "Like little baby. One more game, please?"

The way Gordon hesitates is very telling. Though Benrey wouldn't consider themself super good at reading people, it's still obvious that he's searching for a way to let them down easy, or contemplating if he's even capable of staying up longer. Either way, he feels bad about this. And Benrey feels bad, too, but in a different way. They don't want to leave him alone regardless of how safe it is, but they also feel like they've barely scratched the surface of what they could do in this place. There's no way they could fall asleep when they're itching to get back up and do something else, whatever that ends up being.

"Well… you know," Gordon starts, his brows furrowed over his eyes like this pains him to say. "You two could… go have fun, if you want to. Just, maybe stay here until I fall asleep? It won't be long, I promise."

That feels like a good compromise, though it doesn't ease Benrey's worry that Gordon's going to wake up and get scared, or something. Sure, they know him to sleep like the dead, but what if tonight is different for no reason? It's maybe an irrational fear, but one they harbor nonetheless. Still, they want to explore this mall so bad. There're so many stores they never explored, food they didn't eat, and so on. 

"Okay," Benrey says.

After getting all the snacks and controllers put away, Gordon changes into some sleep clothes, and Benny shakes the crumbs out of the blankets. The lights are all left on at Gordon's behest, and then the three crawl back inside the fort, closing the blanket flap at the front. Benrey's quick to curl up along Gordon's front, holding him in their arms while he tucks his head under their chin. Nearby, Benny hesitates before lying down behind Benrey, where they can gaze up at the twinkling lights shining through the blankets.

Over the next half hour, Benrey listens to Gordon's breaths as they become more measured, and his slowing heartrate as he falls asleep. Only once they can tell he's deeply asleep do they kiss his brow and gently move him to lie comfortably… by himself. It feels wrong, now that they know what waking up alone does to him. But he knows where they are, what they're doing, and why, and he won't wake up alone, because they'll be back before he does.

It's as they sit up that they realize something important. He won't be alone at all… because Benny is right here. They're still awake, shifting their gaze from the lights to somewhere around Benrey's jaw as they, seemingly, await what Benrey will do next. A sudden and impulsive thought strikes Benrey, then.

There's no way they're letting Benny pick up their slack in their relationship with Gordon. He sleeps alone, or he sleeps with Benrey. Right now, when Tommy and Gordon's sonboy are far, far away, there are no other options.

So, Benrey grabs Benny's wrist and tugs them out of the fort. They go willingly, putting their shoes back on once Benrey does and grabbing their satchel. Benrey's backpack is practically bursting with clothes—sue them, they've never gotten to wear their own clothes before and they got very overexcited about it—so they don't take anything.

"Come on," Benrey quietly tells Benny, taking a few steps towards the exit. "We're gonna have fun, even if it kills one of us."

Despite the thinly veiled threat, Benny looks as excited as a dog hearing the word "walk". Their face lights up, posture perky and eager as they scramble after Benrey, reaching out to hold their hand with both of theirs. The gesture has Benrey staring down at their joined hands, wondering why they don't hate this. Benny's hands are lithe, like Benrey's, but way softer and smoother.

More than that, they hold onto Benrey's hand with a careful sort of symmetry that makes them feel like the two of them were made to fit together. It's not outlandish. As far as Benrey can tell, Benny is the same shape as them, even if they tend to hide their figure rather than accentuate it.

Whatever. Benrey ignores the fuzzy feeling this gives them like it's an annoying pest before tugging Benny along. No need to overanalyze these things. At some point, they'll probably end up ditching Benny anyway, and the two of them can do their own thing before heading back home to Gordon. In fact, once Benny's fully formed, there's no reason to even keep them around—they could teleport off to Ireland or something and live their own life. That would solve a lot of Benrey's problems.

Even if the idea of that makes Benrey's heart hurt to the degree they want to cry on the spot. Fucking… emotions. Dumb. With a sigh that makes Benny look at them with concern in their eyes, Benrey guides them along out of the shop and into the rest of the mall.

Chapter Text

Now that it's just the two of them, Benrey finds themself struck with choice paralysis. The music store interests them, might drop in and see if they can figure out how to get the electric guitars to work. Or maybe they'll raid the GameStop again, find some Sony handhelds and games. But that sounds like something they'd rather do with Gordon—picking out GameBoy games with his expertise.

After walking for a while, they pause and look at Benny, who's dutifully followed at their side thus far, looking neither impatient nor annoyed by Benrey's indecisiveness. It's pretty rich, right? After they bitched so much about Benny doing the same thing earlier? Of course Benny would one-up them like that again.

Whatever. They really don't care.

"You got any ideas?" Benrey asks them. It's not that they care what Benny's into, but maybe they could use this opportunity to ditch them somewhere.

The other alien looks straight up at the ceiling for a few moments before looking back down and humming gray-green-soy, play with toys. The green—as opposed to pink or rust—is all the information Benrey needs to start guiding them back to the toy store. This place has a lot of hiding spots with all the shelves being so tall and stuffed with toys, so it shouldn't be hard to lose Benny in here.

Once they reach the colorful shop, they immediately part ways, pursuing their own curiosities. It's only now that they're in here that Benrey realizes they actually do want to be here, looking at all the fun toys.

The stuff they used to play with as a child is absent here. Back then, they had a bunch of stuff that was clearly secondhand—though they wouldn't puzzle that out until later, when they learned what "secondhand" even means—like Barbies with fucked up hair that were drawn on with marker, or little plastic toys of random characters. The Legos got confiscated when the scientists got tired of stepping on them, but at least they had a shitty dollhouse where they could pretend Barbie, Hello Kitty, the blue Power Ranger, and Voltorb were friends.

None of that stuff is here anymore. There's some Barbies, obviously, she's an immortal elder god that will never die. There's also a few tiny Pokémon plush toys, though none they like. Mostly everything else is shit they've never heard of in their life, from the soft pastels of the "girl" aisle to the absolute sensory nightmare of the edgy "boy" aisle.

Still, Benrey looks through all of it, trying to imagine what it would be like to be a child playing with these things. It's a lot of playing pretend, using action figures and dolls to act out little scenes. They do that sort of thing in Grand Theft Auto games nowadays, but there's something that just hits different about the real baby stuff. It's so colorful, innocent, and full of joy. A kind of joy Benrey's never been able to get back from those scant few years they were allowed to play as a child.

Even now, holding some action figure of a wrestler, Draculaura, and a little plastic cat, they don't think they really get it. Yeah, they can invent some whacky story, and they do, sitting there doing character voices and acting out a plotline that is increasingly convoluted and weird. But the only reason it keeps getting weirder is because they keep getting bored. Are they too old for this? Or simply too jaded to find amusement in dolls when they could be getting laid and playing high-octane action games?

It's with a sigh that they give up on their little story, dropping the dolls they no longer give a shit about and getting back to their feet. Wandering off to find something else, or, failing that, just leaving…

They hear something. A soft noise, one they quickly place as the sound of boots brushing along a carpet floor, followed by a whoosh as they dodge out of the way of a foam-sword attack. A Minecraft diamond sword, that is. Benny trips and falls into the space Benrey used to occupy, but Benrey catches their wrist before they can hit anything.

"Bro, your feetsies givin' you away. Gotta get good at hunting or you'll be baby forever." They tug, helping Benny back up before grabbing a sword of their own. "Anyway, square up motherfucker."

Thus ensues a sword fight that involves the two chasing each other around the store. Benny fights with the grace of a toddler, while Benrey keeps trying to teach them how to do better. Not that they're a swordfighter, but Benny's obvious and loud movements aren't going to work in other areas of combat either. They don't seem to understand how to muffle the noises they make and Benrey isn't sure how to properly teach Benny when everything comes so naturally to them; or maybe it's just a lifetime of experience, which Benny clearly didn't inherit.

Their mock sword fight comes to an abrupt end when they accidentally knock down a stand full of plush bears, and Benny immediately sets their sword aside to pick everything up. A frown creases Benrey's features as they watch this go down.

There's a level of empathy Benny's showing, like the bears are alive and hurting, that bothers Benrey. They want to scold the younger alien, mock them for thinking dolls are alive and giving so much of a shit over them getting knocked on the floor. But they hear a voice in their head—that sounds a lot like Tommy—reminding them to be nice, so they bite their tongue.

Besides… isn't this indicative of the attitude Benrey's been missing? The ability to give a shit about the toys they miss playing with as a child? That would almost piss them off, that Benny gets to have that when they don't, but instead, all they can think of is, well… couldn't Benny help them find that energy, in the same way Tommy would? It was Tommy that got them into video games, cartoons, and toys like Beyblades. If they stuck with Benny, would that teach them to love even more things?

Maybe they're thinking too deeply about this.

Regardless, after helping Benrey pick up the display by handing them each toy so they can kiss its fuzzy little head and carefully put it back on the stand, they grab Benny's hand and guide them deeper inside the store. Here, they find some Lego sets, slicing them open with their claws and spilling them out onto the floor. No words are exchanged, and clearly, none need to be. Benny brings over some cushions they find in the soft play area so the two have more comfortable places to sit or lie down, and they get to work.

Benrey lies on their front, the pillow placed under their chest, idly swinging their legs behind them as they start putting together a little Lego house. Nearby, Benny puts together some streets with flowers and trees for Benrey to eventually connect their house to. By the time Benrey's made a house for everyone they know, Benny's crafted a park to go with it, with swings and a gazebo and everything.

It looks better than anything Benrey could put together. Though they've played a lot of Minecraft, the most aesthetically pleasing their bases have ever gotten is using stairs on the roof and stuff like that. But Benny's on the level that heavily modded, RTX-on, cottagecore Minecrafters are on. Benrey can't even figure out how they made the gazebo look that good.

Benrey starts adding a second story to their house just to make the roof look half as good as Benny's stuff, when they start making a house of their own, as well. It's got an alchemist's tower like in Skyrim, and a pretty garden in the back. Meanwhile, Benrey's just trying to make their roof not look like shit. How Benny even thinks of these things is beyond them—it's like their brain shuts off the instant they sit down to actually make something. They swear they're usually more interesting than this weird box house they shittily slapped together.

Doesn't stop them from acting like their creations are works of art and Benny's far inferior to them. And Benny sees right through their bragging for the joke it really is, enough to hum little bursts of green sweet voice like they're laughing.

It… feels almost like playing with Tommy, but different, too. He's cute just like this, except not at all. Both of them are cute, but Benny's cute in the way that fuzzy persian kittens with their tongues sticking out are cute, the way that makes you want to do anything for them. It makes Benrey all gooey inside. Which isn't what they want to be feeling about Benny, making that fuzziness uncomfortable.

Benrey returns their attention to the town the two of them have put together. There's a house for both of them, plus one for Gordon—it looks like Princess Daisy's house—one for Tommy, Coomer and Bubby, and… Benrey stares at the last house. It's one they put together without even thinking, with pale pink walls and a little lego dog in the front yard. Spotting it with all the others is like getting jumpscared. It makes them feel sick, their eyes prickling with tears, before it all just shuts off. They don't care. And with a cold sort of numbness, Benrey removes that house from the town and dismantles it bit by bit while Benny watches on with confusion in their eyes.

At Benny's purple-grey hum, Benrey waits until they've dismantled the entire house before saying, "Whatever. It's not like he's ever had a home, and I'm not gonna be the one to make him one."

Chucking the pink pieces aside feels bad, but they do it anyway before building something else where the house used to be. It's a cooler house, with spikes and a big pool and way more dogs. Benny suggests adding flowers by offering them some yellow ones, which Benrey reluctantly adds before building some dead, gothic trees and a cemetary fence. With all the playsets they have here, it's not hard.

Once they're done, the two aliens carefully transport it onto the table the playsets used to be stacked on. It looks pretty cool, and they both take some pictures to show Gordon later before leaving the store behind.

At that point, the fact Benrey had ever wanted to ditch Benny has totally vanished from their mind. It's natural to take their hand when Benny reaches out for them and guide them off to grab some snacks. After they track down a vending machine, Benny selects a strawberry Fanta to sip at while Benrey opts for some Code Red. Not that either of them need a sugary drink, but it's nice anyway.

Wandering the mall together, they soon reach a spot that has Benny stopping to look straight up. Curious, Benrey looks back at them before following their gaze to a big section of skylights overhead. In a place like this, it's not exactly an impressive sky like the one they saw while they were camping. It's a sea of milky blue with stars invisible until you focus on them, more and more twinkling into view, but never becoming especially impressive. The moon is also visible, looming large and fractioned overhead. Benrey doesn't know what to call this phase, but it's very close to becoming a crescent.

Regardless, Benrey finds themself just as transfixed. Soon, they've both moved to sit on the side of a nearby planter full of fake trees and bushes, where Benrey doesn't even notice it when Benny scoots closer to lay their head on Benrey's shoulder.

But all things must come to an end, and Benrey can only enjoy gazing at a sky burdened by light pollution for so long. It's relaxing, sure, and they're glad they got this chance to unwind. But it's time to move on.

Looking down at Benny, they're about to nudge them and suggest going somewhere else when they spot the look of astonishment in their eyes, glittering even brighter than the sky overhead. This is the first time they've seen Benny look so awestruck, and Benrey suddenly knows why Gordon's so infatuated with showing them new things. Though Benny's certainly seen the night sky before—Benrey caught them stargazing yesterday night—it seems they aren't quite over it yet. Or maybe their vision's gotten better? Or some other skeleton thing.

Regardless, Benrey finds themself stuck watching Benny's expression, getting lost in their soft blue eyes forming a ring around their heavily-dilated pupils. Studying them this closely gives Benrey a lot of weird feelings that get even weirder when they remember they're still holding hands.

But unlike every time before… something compels Benrey to lean into it, so they do. Resting their head against Benny's, the look up at the sky again, trying to see what Benny's seeing.

"Hey," Benrey eventually says, breaking the silence to point lazily up at the sky. "You know consultations? Got one right there, you see it?" As Benny squints up at the sky, they do their best to follow the trajectory of Benrey's finger, connecting star to star to star until it begins to form an image. "That one's Phallus, the God of Virilit—"

Benny shoves their hand into Benrey's face, pushing them down into the dirt as they instinctively erupt into energetic cackling. When the hand is gone and Benrey's able to look up at Benny again, they find the other alien beeping a stream of unhappy red bubbles at them, like a constant stream of -2s in a Twitch chat. Well, Benrey thought it was funny, and Benny's reaction makes it way funnier. Who knew they were so playful?

At least Benny helps them clean the dirt off their cardigan after they get back up. With the mood ruined, it's time to move on to other adventures, and Benrey knows just where they wanna go first.

It's a colorful shop they noticed on the walk through the mall earlier that day. Walking in, they find wall-to-wall candy dispensers with shelves and bins chock-full of even more candy. All kinds, too; chocolate, taffy, jelly beans, just about everything you could think of. This sort of thing, Benrey's obviously never been around in person, but they've seen it in a couple movies or shows and they know exactly what they wanna do.

Tugging Benny deeper inside the store, they find a bin with a bunch of plastic containers full of different types of candies. It's kept the sugary goods somewhat preserved, at least in the way of keeping bugs out, and as Benrey lifts the lid on one, it releases an incredibly sweet smell that has them letting out a euphoric sigh. They peel out a strip of candy that's blue with a pink line down the center, lifting it above their head to dangle it into their mouth. It tastes surprisingly sour, and they shiver as the taste washes over their tongue.

Benny, who's been looking around the store in total awe, watches them eat before grabbing the pink and white version of what Benrey just grabbed. Though they're a lot more polite about it, holding it by the edge and delicately nibbling, but they also have a far stronger reaction to it being sour. The full-body shudder and grimace result in them handing Benrey the rest, which they down like a garbage disposal.

"This is fucking awesome," Benrey declares the instant their mouth is no longer full, wasting no time in grabbing a cute pink-yellow-blue-white unicorn marshmallow strip that they just have to have several more of, as Benny eagerly joins in, enjoying this one far more.

Thus begins their feast of the candy store. Benrey wants to try everything, absolutely everything, while Benny tends to only grab certain things. Anything pink or red, for starters, especially if it resembles, or has some sort of label with an image of, a strawberry. Benrey notices this, of course, and starts handing Benny things they find that are, or seem to be, strawberry flavored. The look of awe and appreciation Benny gives them every time is adorable and a little sad, like an orphan surprised to be given dinner. In return, Benny starts finding things either blue or brown to bring Benrey, from blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers to soft cinnamon candies.

They're trying out the dispensers with the little metal scoop when they get to some hard yellow candies. Benny gets to them first, as Benrey can't drag themself away from the last tube of soft blue raspberry candies just yet. But as Benny puts the candy in their mouth, it takes barely a second before they're letting out these strangled little whines and sticking out their tongue. They get all jittery as they struggle to find something to spit the candy out into, to no avail. In their desperation, when Benrey holds out their hand palm-up, Benny doesn't hesitate, spitting it out onto their hand. It looks more red than yellow now, the same color as Benny's tongue.

"Hey, I gotchu," Benrey says, before grabbing their chin and leaning in, lips just shy of brushing, to hum a shade of pink into Benny's mouth. Though startled at first, they slowly relax as the taste of the strawberry sweet voice washes over them, cleansing their palate of the nasty yellow candy. When Benrey feels they've done enough, they pull back, seeing the flushed and dreamy look on Benny's face. That's only natural considering the effects of that particular color, so Benrey doesn't think much of it. What matters is they aren't freaking out anymore.

Until Benrey tosses the used candy in their own mouth, and then Benny snaps out of their daze to start trying to wrestle it out of Benrey's mouth like a dog eating plastic. The air fills with Benrey's cackles and Benny's beeps of red sweet voice. Though when the taste of the candy hits Benrey, suddenly they're making exaggerated cat-choking noises and spitting it out onto the floor. Banana.

"Ew, ew, ewwie, ewwwww-uhhh," Benrey complains as they look for something else to stuff their mouth full of. Picking up the scoop, they shovel the blue raspberry balls into their mouth before Benny ushers them off to clean up their mess.

While Benrey cleans, Benny wanders off, leaving Benrey to find something else to do once they're done. This brings them back to the bins, where they sample ones they haven't tried yet. The watermelon ones are addicting, and they're in the middle of shoveling them into their mouth before hearing Benny let out a loud beep of sweet voice, calling them over to another section of the shop. There's a display here where each shelf is a different pastel color, and it's loaded up with loose candies in mason jars of various sizes.

Judging by the awestruck look on Benny's face, the jars are driving them crazy, further evidenced by the pink sweet voice they're letting out, like someone yelling "cute cute cute cute cute" over and over. They keep picking up different jars and showing them to Benrey, as if they can't see it until Benny points it out, or something. It's really adorable. The ones they seem to like the most are the ones with colorful balls or otherwise tiny, gummy shapes in them, like the gumdrops, gummy sours, jellybeans, and peppermints.

To satisfy Benny's craze, they both take some pictures, a few featuring Benny in them. After that, they start trying out the candies without opening the jars, just in case that's, like, important or whatever. Benrey doesn't know a lot, but they're pretty sure these things keep stuff fresh? Or something? So they noclip candy out until Benny's found their favorite, which is a medium-sized, fat jar of soft jelly candies. Benrey opts for one full of marshmallow twists which isn't much bigger, before grabbing a tall one full of cube-shaped sour gummies in an array of colors. Benny doesn't even ask why.

"You think," Benrey idly says as they carefully tuck the three jars inside Benny's bag, next to a nondescript black shopping bag and atop a neatly folded gray plaid blanket. "We could put stuff in these? Later."

Benny mimes the act of drinking from a glass.

"Juice!" Benrey exclaims. "Oh my god, your brain so big and wrinkly." If they could find some fruit trees, they could start making their own juices, of whatever they want. According to Tommy, they don't make a lot of different fruit juices in America, so a blue raspberry or strawberry juice is going to be hard to find. Most of the time, it's "mixed berries" or "strawberry-banana," and, uck. NO. "If we crushed the jellybeans in that one," they point to a tall jar with hard candies—not jelly beans, but every pill-shaped candy is a jelly bean to them—piled into an incomplete rainbow, "Would it make juice?"

The look Benny gives them is so disapproving and disgusted that Benrey can't help but laugh, which in turn earns them a playful shove before Benny wanders off to find something else to eat. Benrey tails after them without thought.

There's lots more to try, and soon, they've moved on to the more bittersweet kinds—aka, chocolate. The nutty kinds are very popular with Benrey, while Benny politely declines after the first few in favor of the chocolate covered fruits. These, Benrey also loves, though not so much the cherry chocolates.

The real winner, though, are the truffle chocolates.

"What, like, mushrooms?" Benrey asks as Benny guides them over to the boxes they found. There's many different kinds, all in little wrapped balls. There's also big packs of them, looking like an Animal Crossing flower packet, but the individual ones are easier to sample. Unwrapping a red one, they say, "Bon ape tit, I guess," before tossing the whole thing in their mouth.

Benny watches closely as Benrey's expression goes from bored to awestruck in mere moments. It's easily the creamiest, most melt-in-their-mouth chocolate they've EVER had. The texture, the taste, the creaminess, it's practically perfect. When tears start to form in their eyes and they quickly grab another one, Benny follows suit.

Soon, between the two of them, they've eaten every individual truffle chocolate on display, even the ones they weren't as crazy about as the milk chocolate ones in the red packaging. Benny looks despondent when the strawberry and cream ones are all gone, while Benrey flops down on the floor where the two of them have been sitting with the contentedness of someone who just came really hard. After Benny's finished placing all the boxes back onto the shelves neat and tidy, they move to lay down next to Benrey, their hands folded over their waist.

Having sampled basically everything there is to sample, Benrey feels pretty good about this visit. Though they didn't know the names of most of the candy they ate, they'll always be able to place appearance to taste for future candy-eating adventures.

That, at some point in the future, there might not be anymore of any of these candies, doesn't cross their mind.

Tilting their head to look at Benny, they're struck by just how different this all is. Their opinion on Benny rapidly soured after they stopped being a skeleton, getting worse and worse over the course of the day. But a few hours spent playing and eating candy has softened them a lot to the other alien. They're not just some perfect, sweet and polite maximum goodness level angel—they're also playful, a little bossy, and whiny like a baby kitten that hasn't been fed in the past three seconds. Not to mention all the roughhousing Benny doesn't hesitate to engage in.

Like that, Benrey doesn't feel quite so overshadowed. Sure, Benny's still nicer and more helpful than they are, and they're pretty mad Gordon liked them so quickly… but Benrey also likes them, so it's more like the Tommy-effect. Everyone likes Tommy, and anyone who doesn't canNOT be trusted. Benrey can't blame Gordon for having liked Tommy so much faster than Benrey, just like they didn't get mad when they found out he has a crush.

And… wow. Huh. This new outlook feels like such a breath of fresh air that it gives Benrey a weird, restless feeling. They're not sure what it is. Are they horny? Do they wanna cry? Do they need to go run around? None of those things feel quite right, and without knowing what to do, Benrey does nothing.

Soon, they both tire of laying on the floor, and get up to select their favorite truffles to take back with them. The bags are pretty big and should last a while if they eat one as a little treat every now and then. A bag of hazelnut, strawberries and cream, and peanut butter truffles get tucked away into Benny's bag, fitting nicely alongside the jars.

Once they're out of the candy shop, Benrey stretches their arms out over their head, using the pause to contemplate where to go next. That's when Benny gently taps their shoulder to get their attention. Looking over at them, they catch the shifty look in Benny's eyes, their expression meek as they struggle to express to Benrey where they wanna go next. At this point, Benrey has no problem letting Benny choose again. The toy store was pretty fun, and their feelings towards Benny aren't quite as harsh as they were earlier. They have a lot more faith Benny will pick something good.

With no proper way to express it, all Benrey gets out of them is that it's a shop they were too embarrassed to bring Gordon, waiting until Benrey was more willing to ask them, instead. Of course, Benrey's mind immediately jumps to sex stuff. Though they don't recall seeing much sex stuff in this mall outside the back wall at Spencers and the selection of lingerie at Victoria's Secret.

But… if Benny didn't want to ask Gordon somewhere like that, what does that mean? Benrey's immediate thought is that it's an indicator of how unwilling, or not-ready they are to get sexy with Gordon, which is a plus in Benrey's book. It's probably also an alien anatomy thing if they're less nervous about asking Benrey.

Feeling good about that, they agree, taking Benny's hand and following them to their destination.

It turns out to be exactly what Benrey thought. The shop they end up at has a discreet entrance hiding the interior from the outside, similar to a public bathroom entrance, with a large poster of a scantily clad woman in fairly modest underwear set up in the entrance. Benny looks curiously at it as they pass by. Inside, the walls, floor, and ceiling are all black, with pink and black decor. Female bust mannequins dressed in various lingerie sets are arranged throughout the store.

When Benrey turns to look at Benny, they expect embarrassment—instead, the younger alien is looking at the mannequins with a puzzled expression. They turn to Benrey and make a rounded gesture around their chest. It takes a moment, but when it hits, Benrey bursts out laughing.

"Oh my GOD I forgot you've never seen a human woman before," they laugh as Benny starts turning a flustered purple. "Don't worry about the hotted boobs, your boobs are hotted enough."

Chuckling to themself, Benrey leads Benny along, explaining the types of lingerie that best suit their body type—since it's identical to their own, as far as Benrey can tell—and the equivalent of their cup-size, though they have to steer Benny away from certain types of bras and more towards the tighter variety. Something that'll have an easier time actually fitting to their body.

Once that information is delivered is when Benny starts to get embarrassed. Maybe it's the suggestion they both strip naked and go wild trying things on, which Benny adamently refuses. Instead, they pick out some sets together, as Benrey tries to get a feel for Benny's tastes. They keep turning down the really scandalous and strappy stuff Benrey wouldn't even blink at, instead touching the soft fabric of the babydoll tops.

"Try those," Benrey suggests, as Benny jumps, apparently unaware they were being watched. Blue gets hummed their way as they nod slowly, their face having turned a deep blue-violet hue. They pick out a few tops as Benrey vanishes to the other side of the store, finding stuff for themself, or, rather, for Gordon, since he's the one who's going to be enjoying it the most. When they're done and have everything stuffed into a bag for later, they go looking for Benny.

They find the alien over by the dressing rooms, stepping out to use the mirror right as Benrey approaches. Benny doesn't appear to notice them, and they keep it that way, remaining quietly in place as their eyes flick up and down Benny's body.

They're wearing one of the babydoll tops, sheer black with frills cinching where it hangs off the shoulders. There's more frills along the trim, including the sleeves that reach down to their knuckles. Underneath is a blue velvet bodysuit with black accents and more frills, with ribbons across the exposed chest that remind Benrey of the lingerie they wore earlier. It has the same lifting effect for their chest. Though Benrey would deduct points for it covering so much of their ass. Whatever, Benny will understand their assets soon enough.

Benrey takes out their camera and quickly snaps a picture of Benny posing in front of the mirror—which results in them whipping around looking mortified, and Benrey quickly gets a picture of that too, only stopping once they're trying to fetal position on the ground.

"Chill, I'm done," Benrey says, not understanding why Benny would react this way. "You look cute as heck why you hiding? Stand up, jeez."

Benny does so, though not without keeping their face covered and leaning back against the wall. Benrey snaps another picture before putting the camera away.

"Yooo, you make this look good," Benrey comments, pleasantly surprised to find this is true. Stuff like this usually looks ridiculous when you're so muscular, but on Benny it looks natural. Maybe it's about attitude? They look so soft and delicate, the trim of the top cascading down in a tiered shape that leaves their crotch uncovered.

A sweet scent wafts past Benrey's nostrils at that moment and they can't help but sniff at the air to try and place it—and for some reason the scent goes right to their dick, which starts to stir in their pants. It's not like the citrus of the rust sweet voice, or even the strawberry of a warm, affectionate pink. They're concord grapes, like the juice.

As they try to place the scent, they draw the tips of their fingers down along the soft fabric, unsure what's possessing them to do this. The touch grows bolder until they've gripped Benny's waist, hearing them squeak out a stream of pink-yellow, yet they don't move away. The smell gets much stronger as they step closer, until they've got Benny pinned back against the wall, watching them through the gaps in their fingers. Benrey's mind goes blank, fuelled by instinct as they press their face into the crook of Benny's neck and loudly inhale, feeling Benny shiver in their grasp. Yeah, that's definitely where the scent is coming from… or it's very, very close by.

Their fingers dip under the opening in the thighs of Benny's bodysuit when suddenly, they're shoved away. Not particularly hard, but they do skid back a few steps, mostly from the surprise. As the scent gets less obvious, the haze in their mind clears, giving them a sense of clarity as they see Benny staring back at them, eyes wide and skin flushed a deep violet all over.

"Uh," Benrey stutters, eyes wide and pupils constricted. They stare at each other for a moment, Benrey's chest buzzing with energy, before Benny smooths down their shirt and rushes back inside the dressing room. "Cool yeah good talk…"

As Benrey wanders off, they end up stood staring at one of the mannequins, not really seeing it. Their eyes go distant as they focus inwards, wondering what the fuck just happened. It was like a siren's song making them go dummy-stupid, and if Benny hadn't intervened, they might have… like, wow, okay. No one immune to wanting to fuck Benny, apparently? That must have been some alien stuff. For a species that knots—and all that other weird mating and breeding shit—it only makes sense that there's some kind of mating call or whatever. Mating scent?

Wait. Does that mean Benny was aroused just now? Were they smelling…?

The sound of the dressing room door opening draws Benrey out of their thoughts. They watch as Benny, head down, locates a shopping bag to neatly stack their new clothes into, tying the straps into a bow, somehow. Despite their embarrassment, when Benny goes to rejoin Benrey, they still hold out a hand for Benrey to take.

Neither of them address what happened, choosing to walk in silence as Benrey picks out their next adventure. It's only fair that they swap who gets to choose.

But thinking through something like that is difficult when they can't get what just happened out of their head—which leads them to a conversation they had with Gordon earlier today. They did promise him they'd talk about that with Benny… and this feels like the right time. If any time could be the right time for the birds and bees talk.

"Hey, so," Benrey starts, having trouble looking at Benny as they speak, so they don't. "Don't know what your mind's got going on but do you know how sex works?"

The choked noise Benny makes is cute, though as they stop walking, Benrey's forced to do so as well, and ends up having to actually look at them. They're pouting, which is cute, too.

"Bro it's okay. S'not embarrassing, NATURAL. If you need, tutorial, I got that shit."

The way Benny adamantly shakes their head is an immense relief. They cover half their face in their hand, the one not currently holding Benrey's, hiding their expression at once flustered and exasperated. Nice to see Benrey's barking up the wrong tree with this particular concern. So they didn't scare Benny with what just happened… not that they were worried, they're, like, cool and not scary and Benny gets it.

"Cool. Yeah that's—You can talk me later if you're… questions." Benny quickly nods. After reaching up to ruffle their hair, Benrey walks off without another word, dragging Benny along with them.

With their mind now clear, the decision on where to go isn't a hard one to make. The music store is just as they remember it from earlier, with the glass counter circling the center of the room and the guitars on the back wall. After setting the spoils down on the counter, Benrey leads Benny over to the guitars.

"So apparently they don't work unless you do something," Benrey says. "Quest… uh, figure out what that means."

Rubbing their two collective brain cells together, they manage to find an instructional book with lots of pictures that talks about amps, which Benny silently reads before pointing out the items they need. An amp is then produced from out of a box, which they work together to get working. The pretty black bass is then lowered down and plugged in, held in Benrey's hands as they run their nails down the strings.

"Whoa," Benrey breathes as the deep, rumbling tones of the bass reverberate around the room. As they play a few more notes, they quickly discover that a bass guitar and a guitar-guitar don't work the same, but some experimentation leads them to the proper method. Or a good-enough one, anyway. They've played enough Rock Band to get it, or at least, they think they do.

While they experiment, trying to figure out how to make certain notes, they sit down on the amp, which easily supports their low weight. Across from them, Benny sits cross-legged on the floor, chin in hands watching Benrey play with stars in their eyes. Though their playing isn't exactly good. It's only a few steps away from being ear-screechingly bad, purely by virtue of Benrey having perfect pitch by default. Doesn't mean they know how to make those notes on a bass guitar, however. Even though it sounds like shit, Benny still claps every time they pause long enough for applause to make way.

After getting up to try one of the guitar-guitars, Benrey finds out the hard way that you can't unplug the instrument without turning the amp's volume down, not unless you want to give two aliens sensory overload. The two end up on the floor struggling recover from the assault on their eardrums, humming blue to try and bring themselves down. When Benrey recovers first, they hum more blue into Benny's mouth.

A break is required, then, before they can invite more noises into their life. In the meantime, they sip at the bottles of soda they grabbed earlier while picking through some instructional books. Though Benrey left the one Gordon gave them back at the BBB, there's more here to learn from.

Not a lot is actually learned, but that wasn't the point. Looking at the pretty pictures in the books gives them both something to focus on and ground themselves before they're ready to pick up a guitar again.

This time, they set up a second amp of the same kind as the first, and Benrey puts an electric guitar into Benny's hands, standing close and posing Benny's hands to show them the chords Gordon taught them earlier. When the camera inevitably comes out, Benny does some cute poses with the guitar before Benrey joins in with the bass.

"Now play something guitar-boy," Benrey says, plopping down on their amp as Benny follows suit on theirs.

Sitting face-to-face close enough for their knees to touch, they experiment with the instruments, playing random shit and trying to figure out what chord produces what tone so they can replicate some familiar melodies. It sounds like absolute tone deaf dogshit, but it's fun to pretend and puts a smile on both their faces.

At some point, Benrey looks up from their guitar to the feeling of a cool hand resting along the side of their neck, fingers curled as if to avoid grazing the mark on their nape. Barely an inch away is Benny's face, looking up at them with dark eyes and a soft smile, their face lightly dusted with a blue-violet blush. Benrey's heart leaps into their throat at the sight of them, their heart-shaped lips looking so glossy and soft. Much like earlier that day, another thing starts to violently make sense—Benny is a sweet little temptress, and Benrey wants to sin.

"Wanna kiss?"

Slowly, Benrey blinks. Blinks. Blinks again. Then, through the silence chasing after those two words, Benrey's heart leaps into their throat again, and they jump, falling backwards over their amp as Benny shoots up to check on them, a concerned purple-grey sweet voice flying out of their mouth. Benrey sets their guitar aside before doing a roll to get back up, nearly tripping in the process, while Benny hovers nearby.

Whipping around, Benrey jabs a finger in Benny's direction. "Did you just speak?" they exclaim, flabbergasted. A beat passes before Benny's hands fly up to cover their mouth, eyes wide and face turning purple as Benrey breaks out into a huge smile. They jump forward, grabbing onto Benny's arms. "Again again again!" Benny fervently shakes their head, turning as far away as they can in Benrey's grasp. "Come on, pleeeeeease? For me, please? Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

Benrey's giving their best puppy-dog eyes, and Benny looks stricken when they see it, squinting as if they're trying to resist the psychic damage it's dealing them. Seeing the lack of effectiveness of that technique, Benrey starts shaking them, as if that'll do anything. With a whine, Benny throws out their hands to push at Benrey's face.

"Come onnnnnnnnn please? Just lemme hear you voice again pleeeeeeeeeease—!"

"Stoooooooooop-uh," Benny whines. Stunned, Benrey stares at them in awe before beginning to hop up and down. The younger alien's voice is similar yet very different—soft and slow, yet in a higher register with more of a delicate quality to it. Prying the guitar out of Benny's hands, Benrey sets it down next to the bass, throwing their arms around Benny's waist and lifting them up.

"You speak! My creation LIVES!" Benrey shouts, swinging Benny around as they let out little yells like they're trying not to wake up their parents, or something. Benrey doesn't bother, cackling like mad as they spin around the shop. Eventually, though, they set Benny back down, holding onto their biceps as they stare Benny approximately in the eye (much closer to their ear, though). "This is so—We hafta show Gordon right now immediately right now okay? Please? He's gonna love it."

Benny makes a face, but they nod, keeping silent apart from some sweet voice as they put the amps away, grabbing their bags and following a very excited Benrey back to the BBB to find Gordon.

When they get there, they remove their shoes and set their shopping bags down with the rest of their things before Benrey gently pulls open the curtain to the fort. The slumbering form of their boyfriend is contained within, looking like he hasn't moved a single inch since they left him here several hours ago.

After snapping a quick photo of him, Benrey hops into bed, straddling Gordon's hip before shaking his arm while Benny climbs inside with much more grace.

"Gordon!" Benrey calls. "Wake up wake up wake up wake up right now it's important!" Benny sighs, humming green-purple at them, and Benrey lets out an oh, yeah, before continuing, "And safe! We aren't dying and everything is fine but wake up!"

A yelp escapes Gordon as they finally rouse him from sleep, briefly flailing before his hand makes contact with Benrey's chest in the gentlest of little baby slaps. They wait, grinning ear to ear, for him to wake up and properly adjust to his surroundings.

"Whuh—What… Benrey?" comes the drowsy tone of Gordon's voice, so cute and sleepy that it makes Benrey's smile turn warmer. Turning his hand over, he gently rubs at the spot his hand collided with in apology. "Shit, sorry. What's happening, why all the yelling?"

Taking his hand in both of theirs, Benrey holds it against their chest. "We gotta… code loud. Girls rock your boys, you know—Benny said words! You gotta hear it," they explain, their brain, which had been buzzing with far too much energy to plan out what they were gonna tell Gordon, catching up as they speak. It takes awhile for Gordon to figure out what they're trying to say, but once he does, his gaze snaps over to Benny.

"No shit?" he says, moving to sit up and put his glasses back on as Benrey crawls off his hip. With all the attention on them, Benny withers, looking distinctly blue in the face with their eyes flicking between the other two, their lips pressed tightly together.

Hands clasped under their chin, Benrey looks to them with pleading eyes and says, "Pleaseeeeeeee Benny say a thing? Show Gordon your big sexy vocal chords."

But the ever timid Benny keeps quiet, lowering their head with their hands clasped anxiously before their mouth. Benrey blinks, puzzled as to why they won't say anything. They heard it! Three entire words! They know Benny can do it, so why won't they do it now?

"Hey… Hey, it's okay," Gordon soothes, gesturing for Benny to come closer. "Come here." 

Lip tugged between their teeth, Benrey watches as Gordon guides Benny away, suppressing a sigh. Oh, they messed that up, didn't they? With a hint of guilt, they watch as Benny sinks into Gordon's embrace, his hand cradling the back of their head.

"I'm so proud of you," he tells them. "You've gotten so far in only one day. It's—You don't have to force it, okay? Take your time, I can wait. I'm so curious to hear your voice, but I'll wait."

Unlike every time before, Benrey finds they don't feel anything negative watching this go down. Nothing nasty, that is. It's just nice—not only does it kinda look like Gordon holding Benrey from an outsider's perspective, but they love to see Gordon being so gentle.

After resting against his chest for awhile, Benny starts to purr, cooing and higher pitched than Benrey's own, like a house cat to a panther. Nuzzling into his chest, Benny lifts their head up to his shoulder, a delighted look on his face as they bury their face into his neck. "I like you," Benny mumbles against his skin, as Gordon's eyes go wide. "Gordon…"

Green eyes flicker up to Benrey, grinning as he mouths Did you hear? and pulls Benny closer, a hand rubbing along their back. "I like you, too," Gordon professes.

Reaching out towards Benrey, he urges them to join the cuddle session, which they do without hesitation. This is how it's meant to be, they realize as they worm their way into the hug. Gordon has to involve them. He can't just run off with their cute new double, but they can't go getting rid of Benny, either.

"Hey gaymers," they greet, folding their legs off to one side. They lean their head on Gordon's other shoulder, placing a hand over the back of Benny's head, stroking through their hair. That's when they catch the glow of Benny's eyes, tilting their head up to look at Benrey. "Hey, baby boy."

A soft smile grows on Benny's face, quickly turning goofy as they bury their face back in Gordon's neck just to turn back and stick their tongue out at Benrey. The gesture is returned, with Benrey doing the "myehhh" sound and everything, until they've devolved into making childish noises at each other. Benny reaches out to shove their hand into the center of Benrey's face, and Benrey retaliates by messing up their hair, until they're turned into a pair of playfighting cats rolling around the bed together, playfully wrestling.

"Ah! I'm being killed!" Benrey softly exclaims as they're pinned to the bed, Gordon sitting back to watch them with an amused look. "I'm being dead-ed! They're spidering me!"

"Bwehhh," Benny responds, before leaning in and biting Benrey's cheek, too gently to injure, just holding the flesh of their cheek between a pair of sharp teeth.

"Wahhh! They're doing it! I'm too young to be died!" Benrey wails. They push at the other alien without much force, succeeding in doing nothing but jostling their grip on Benrey's cheek. "Gordon, help!"

"Nooooooo-uh," Benny whines around the chunk of flesh they've got their teeth wrapped around.

"Unfortunately babe, I kinda get where they're coming from," Gordon says. "You do look good enough to eat." Throwing himself down onto the bed beside Benrey, Gordon attacks their other cheek, nibbling and kissing it all over before moving to attack their neck and ear as they squirm beneath him. "I'm having me a Benrey burger tonight!" 

"Ahh! Betrayal!" Benrey exclaims, wriggling beneath the other two with far too little force to actually break free. As for Benny, they start making some kitten pigging-out noises, a mram-mram-mram as they gently chew on Benrey's cheek. This leaves a faint mark on their cheek before Benny copies Gordon, nibbling on their ear and sending a ticklish feeling through them with all the kitten-noises Benny's making.

After awhile, Benrey stops struggling falling limp against the bed and cartoonishly playing dead with their tongue hanging out and everything. Once that happens, Benny pulls away, sitting up on their knees and holding their hands up.

"Benny wins!" they softly declare, before covering their mouth behind their hands, fingers curled, and letting out a stilted, awkward-sounding giggle, like… well, an alien who's never heard laughter before.

"Benny is the winner!" Gordon cheers." All hail Benny!"

That's when Benrey suddenly tackles Benny to the bed, calling out, "Respawn!"

A breathy yell comes out of Benny in response, and they go back to wrestling until Benrey's got Benny pinned on their front, their tongue sticking out and blowing raspberries to show their displeasure at this situation. They whine and make fake-crying sounds before Benrey leans in and licks a stripe up their cheek, causing them to wail in displeasure, shoving their hand in Benrey's face and wriggling around until they're face-to-face again.

Eventually the two tucker themselves out, flopping down in a little kitten pile, their legs tangled with Benny flat on their back and Benrey curled up beside them. Benrey says something teasing and Benny lazily bats them in the face. Soon, Gordon joins them, draping an arm around Benrey.

"So what did you two get up to?" he asks. "It's been… How long has it been?"

Benrey turns their head towards Gordon with a soft smile. "Went to, uh, play with toys. Had a sword fight but then, collateral damage. Fixed it though." Benny whines a little at this, red-green coming out of their mouth which Benrey responds to with purple-green. A dissatisfied whine is Benny's response before rolling onto their side to bury their face in Benrey's shoulder. "Benny thinks stuffed bears are alive," Benrey tells Gordon, just to get gently slapped in the center of their face by Benny's hand, which remains there until Benrey starts licking it, at which point it's yanked away.

"Know they're not alive," Benny complains, voice muffled slightly by the fabric of Benrey's cardigan. "Peoples put love in them though. You gotta respect and keep safe."

"Gay," Benrey says, and Benny slaps their face again before rolling over, an annoyed orange sweet voice coming out of them.

"Don't mind Benrey," Gordon tells them, reaching past Benrey to pet Benny's head. "Being a little shit is how they show love."

"So then we made a Lego town, drank soda, looked at space, and tried on some clothes," Benrey continues. "Oh, we went to candy. Got you some candy in Benny's bag for later. Then, we went to the music store. Figured out the AMP." That word is fun to say for some reason. "Had a jam sesh. We're pro music-shins now."

"You should start a band," Gordon says. "Benrey and the Benny's. Hottest act in the apocalypse. All the headcrabs and Golem Apes would love you."

The imagery of a crowd full of headcrabs swinging their arms to some poorly played rock music is a funny one. A stream of green bubbles come out of Benrey's mouth in response to that suggestion. Curling up, their legs slot along the back of Benny's.

"So then Benny asked to kiss me and we came rushing over here because I wanted you to hear it and now we're here the end," Benrey finishes.

"Aww," Gordon coos. "Benrey's first words were asking you for a kiss? You just surround yourself with hopeless romantics, don't you, Benrey?" He leans over to give Benrey a kiss, and they stick their tongue out at him as he's pulling away.

"Got some cute pictures too," they say. "But, uh, some of them are private so don't look. Gotta be supervised." They move to go grab the camera, unbothered by Benny whining in complaint.

"You've been taking a lot of pictures lately, huh?" Gordon says, as Benrey returns with their camera. "I wanna see some of the ones you took earlier. Gimme the camera, please."

"Huh?" Benrey blurts. "Uhhhhuhhhhahh hold on." Glancing back at Benny, they find the other alien laid on their front, peering curiously over at them over their folded-up arms. "This might be too risque for our audience. Parental guidance is, uh, something something…"

They hand the camera over to Gordon, leaning on their elbow next to him so they can watch his reactions in real time. He starts from the most recent photos and works his way backwards, quickly spotting the picture they just took a few minutes ago.

"Aw," he coos, turning to Benrey with a soft smile. "You're taking pictures of me sleeping? You lil' stalker."

Benrey shrugs. They can't help it, they enjoy watching humans sleep, and they love watching their favorite humans sleep. Having photographic evidence of how peaceful Gordon looked this time around means a lot to them.

Next, Gordon goes through the photos of them at the music store, smiling and complimenting the both of them, looking back at Benny who's hanging back to avoid the "risque" photos. Right before it gets to the lingerie photos of Benny, Benrey's quick to take the camera back, hiding the screen while they scroll past them before handing the camera back. There's a curious look on Gordon's face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, though he doesn't do much beyond lightly tease them.

The pictures of the Lego town are complimented as well, with Benrey explaining to him who made what and what they all mean. When he asks about the unowned house, Benrey pulls a "huh, what?" and quickly moves on.

There's some photos of the blanket fort after that, which seem to impress Gordon with how beautifully they captured the twinkle of the fairy lights from inside the fort. They give a cartoonishly bashful little chuckle and an, "Aw, shucks," which earns them a kiss on the cheek in response.

This is all so nice, they wish they had this camera even sooner. They'd have snapped so many memories of their camping trip and their stay at the last safehouse. Photos of the food they'd eaten, the sunrise they'd watched, the fort they'd made. It hurts to think they left all that behind without taking any pictures, but Benrey won't have to feel that pain anymore. They'll be able to immortalize everything in film from now on.

Once Gordon reaches the racy photos Benrey took, they smirk at his reaction. Their tongue runs over their lips as they look at the photo before looking back at Gordon—his dazed expression, his intense focus on the image, eyes flicking this way and that to observe every pixel. His flushed face has Benrey feeling like they've won something, mentally cataloguing that look for future reference.

"Oh… oh, wow," he breathes. "What happened to the video you took of us, Benny?" He turns to look at the alien laid nearby, facing away from the camera. "Did you watch it?"

"Huh?" Benny squeaks, their voice progressively growing higher pitched as they look more and more embarrassed from Gordon's smug, teasing look. "What? Huh??"

"It's okay, we don't have to—"

"Lemme go get it," Benrey says, about to get up to do just that when Benny does it first, scrambling out of bed at breakneck speed, leaving Benrey and Gordon behind to laugh. Soon, Benny returns with the camcorder, climbing into bed beside the others. After pressing play, they hand the device off to Gordon.

"Thank you," he says.

The footage on the little pop-out screen starts right at the beginning of the water fight; Benrey's guessing Benny rewound it while they were up, and that's why they ran to get it first. The footage is amateurish, as is to be expected, often not in the right place, out of focus, or zoomed in too far (or not far enough), though it's perfectly steady thanks to Benny's alien hands. After awhile, those mistakes start to iron themselves out as Benny gets better at it, zipping between Benrey's various teleportations to show they can track each one with ease.

Then it gets to the key moment; Benrey smirks as they watch themself reveal the secret hidden under their wet clothes, zoomed in with their chest being in the center of the shot. The audio is surprisingly well-captured for being at such a distance; even better is the detail in the video portion. Benrey grows hot at the look on their own face, that sexy bravado turned to intimidation and aroused anticipation as Gordon closes in on them. They see the look on his face as well, that purposeful stride.

The moment Gordon catches them, Benrey's breaths stutter in real life, dick twitching in their pants, their breathing growing fast and sharp as their hands tighten around Gordon's bicep where they're holding on to him.

They can hear the noises they were making, can watch the way Gordon grips their ass, the way they stumble forward into him, the power in Gordon's arms as he lifts them up. The camera follows them to the fountain where Gordon tips them inside. It's a sobering moment for all of one second as Benrey watches themself pout and complain, before watching the water drip down their chest, over hardened nipples covered in sheer lace, their body flushed from activity and arousal.

It gets so much worse when it reaches the point where Benrey had noticed the camera. What was once a fairly standard horny moment for them turns into flatout whorish behavior, arching their back and moaning theatrically, playing it up for the camera and being genuinely turned on. The recording goes blurry soon after, showing the floor of the mall and a blur of black fabric before the video ends.

Gordon clicks the camera shut, gently placing the camcorder aside before turning to Benrey. "You looked really good like that," he says. Benrey shivers at Gordon's praise. Looking past them to Benny, who's hiding their face in a pillow, he teasingly asks, "So, Benny, how many times did you watch it?"

The pillow gets chucked at his head, breaking the moment of tension as Benrey bursts out laughing. "HAHAHA! Idiot! Get dunked on!"

A laugh breaks out of Gordon's mouth, too, as he tosses the pillow back towards the head of the bed. "Alright, alright. I deserved that one," he says, peeping the wobbly smile Benny's got on despite their embarrassment. "Sorry, Benny. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I'm just teasing you."

They give a little nod, before Benrey picks up all the cameras and starts carrying them back to their proper places.

"Bedtime," Benrey announces as they start chucking their clothes off, letting them land wherever they may. Annoyed, Benny gets up to pick up after them, folding their clothes up before setting them down on another display bed nearby.

Soon, they're changed into some black joggers and a Devil May Cry crewneck, crawling into the fort to wait for Benny to come back. When they do, it's in a cableknit turtleneck and blue velvet pajama pants. In their absence, Gordon's gotten the blanket folded back for the three of them to climb inside. The pile of blankets and limbs is even more comfortable than their last fort was. Benrey feels completely safe and at peace despite all the hostile aliens wandering just outside the mall that would try to threaten that peace. All those dangers feel so far away.

What matters is the softness in Gordon's "I love you" as Benrey exchanges a kiss with him, and the "I love you, too" they give in return. Even Benny mumbles a "Good night" to Gordon, clearly more interested in sleep than in the pleasantries that lead up to it.

All in all, it feels good.

Chapter Text

It's around nine in the morning when Benrey wakes from another dreamless sleep. Before them, Benny is fast asleep, bubbles drifting out of their mouth with each exhale, pink-blue-green-pink-purple-white-pink on and on in different varieties, forming emotional gibberish.

While watching, Benrey spends time running their fingers through Benny's hair. They wonder what it all means, why that's happening to them. Never happened to Benrey before, but, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Just like Benny growing skin and breaking off from the hivemind wasn't a bad thing, in the end. They only hope things continue to be as peaceful as they are right now between the three of them—and that it stays three, because if they trip on a rock and crack their skull and end up with another skeleton they might lose their mind.

Soon, Gordon starts to stir. Benrey notices right away, their gaze shifting from the glowing orbs of sweet voice over to him. They watch him as he looks up at the orbs in a contented sort of awe, before finally noticing them. The smile that graces his lips at that moment fills them with warmth, their gaze going soft and dreamy.

"You think they're dreaming?" he whispers, gently brushing away a strand of hair from Benny's face. 

They look down at Benny, at the warm brown hand that contrasts against their pale skin. They're breathing evenly, lips parted with more sweet voice drifting out, pink-white-pink-white. Seems like they felt that.

It's an interesting question. Does Benny dream? It would explain the stream of sweet voice coming out of them, but wouldn't explain why or how they're able to do that when Benrey never has. But that train of thought comes to a halt as Gordon leans in to give them a kiss.

"Good morning, babe," he says.

"Morning," they mumble. "Wonder… I don't, uh. Dream. But I don't know about them."

"You don't?" The surprise in Gordon's tone is unexpected. Did they never tell him that? Apparently not. "You know… I'm happy you found me again, Benrey. And thanks for not giving up on me, even when I was an asshole." 

Gordon's words are so sincere and unexpected that Benrey can't manage to do anything but stare. In comparison to his apology to them in the van several days ago, this is… this is something else.

They want to say it back, wanna tell him how sorry they are for being big scary jerk, how they regret everything and never would have done it if they'd known how badly it was affecting Gordon. But they don't have words for any of that. Instead, they have colors and song; pink to white, blue to silvery green, purple to orange to blue. It feels so simple when it's outlined like that, yet if they tried to explain it in words, none of it would come out right.

"Benrey says," a soft voice begins, causing Benrey's body to stiffen, eye widening and flickering down to where Benny's eyes are half-opened. "They love you and they're happy you believe in them. It's not misplaced."

Despite being true, setting all those words free like a pack of butterflies is making Benrey feel ill, their chest tight and buzzing with nervous energy. Seeking comfort, they curl closer to the nearest warm body—Benny—burying their face in a mess of dark curls.

"Nooooo-uhhhh why would you say thatttttt," Benrey whines into Benny's hair, their claws tightening around the other alien's soft knit sweater. "That's GAY I don't think that. You're a lying liar, how could you do me like this."

"Benrey, no, don't hide!" Gordon protests. "You can't just… say stuff like that and not take responsibility. Come back up here and kiss me, you coward!"

As Gordon tugs at their shoulder, Benrey tries to stiffen their body, digging their heels in so to speak so he can't pull them out of their hiding spot. How could Benny just say that like it isn't the most embarrassing, saccharine… EMBARRASSING shit in the world?! Benrey cringes and shrivels up like someone eating a raw lemon even thinking about saying shit like that out loud, and they just did it! No big deal!

Eventually they let Gordon pull them up, inhaling sharply as he wastes no time capturing their lips in a searing kiss. The embarrassment is swiftly replaced with warmth, their arms wrapping around his neck, clinging to him like the mortification-shark will jump out of the water and kill them if he stops kissing them before they're ready.

Once they inevitably part, Benrey floats down onto the pillow, feeling light as a feather.

"I love you," Gordon tells them, filling them with soft feelings that come out of them in green, pink, and blue bubbles. Gordon reaches over to give Benny's head a gentle pat. "And thank you for translating. I promise to protect you from them when they try to get revenge."

While Benrey huffs at that, Benny smiles and says, "Green, pink, and blue means I feel safe and loved by you—"

"NO it means I'm gonna KILL YOU and it was aimed at YOU," Benrey exclaims, sticking their tongue out at Benny who does the same in retaliation.

- ♡ -

Gordon's laugh is loud and bright as the two aliens bicker. This is amazing! All this time he's gone around missing half of everything Benrey says, and now he doesn't have to! Although he won't overuse this new ability—Benrey deserves privacy and there are times the sweet voice seems uncontrollable—he still adores hearing those soft feelings of theirs translated. But he'd rather have Benrey open up to him willingly. It's in times like those that he feels the most connected to them, after all.

"Thanks again, Benny," he says. "You're a gift. But… let's go easy on the translations, okay? Benrey might be cute when they're mad, but if we tease them too much, they might explode or something."

Benrey blows a raspberry at his teasing, though they don't comment on the rest. While they're busy sulking and ragdolling on the bed, he manages to lift them up into his arms for a few kisses.

"Now, boys," Gordon says as Benrey cuddles into his chest. "No more fighting, alright? You're gonna hug and make up, like good boys."

Though he'd hoped some praise would do the trick, all it earns him is a petulant whine from Benrey as they bury their face in his chest. That leaves Benny looking like a sad, dejected puppy in the background, which simply won't do. He gestures for Benny to come join, which they do willingly even as Benrey starts whining and hissing, encouraged by Gordon's insistence.

And, for a moment there, everything is alright. They're both cuddled against his chest, and Benny even starts to purr. He's about to praise them when Benrey nips at Benny's nose, earning them an exclaimed "OW" in response. Benrey blows air in their face, and they snap at Benrey with their teeth before the two of them finally separate, rolling around the bed wrestling and at times, pillow fighting.

Watching the two of them reminds Gordon of Aunt Daisy's many cats. He remembers how they'd pile up in a sunny spot, lazing around grooming each other. Sometimes, what looked like a cozy moment would devolve into biting and play fighting. It's the same when you'd try to pet one; they'd be purring up a storm one moment, then biting your hand like you'd insulted their mother the next. These two, especially Benrey, remind him of those cats.

Seeing Benrey act so tough, like they're allergic to group hugs and genuine sentiment, makes Gordon want to bully them. To break open that cold exterior down to the soft gooey center he knows hides within. Which is the opposite of why Benrey bullies him: to bring out the hardness in him, that darkness he holds so much shame over, but Benrey finds captivating. They balance each other out in that way.

And in the middle of it all is Benny, soft and sweet yet with an edge that peeks through every now and again. How having someone like them around will shake up things, Gordon can't wait to find out.

At least the wrestling is over for now, as Benrey sits back on their haunches, back arching as they stretch out their body with a drowsy sound, their shirt riding up to expose their midriff. Gordon's eyes trail over that strip of exposed flesh, heat curling in the pit of his stomach at the sight. It's easy to scoot over from where he's been sitting, watching them, and grab onto their exposed sides, where his warm hands create a sharp contrast with their cool skin.

"You're so mean to them," he tells Benrey. "Do I need to teach you how to be a good boy?" 

He can feel the jolt pass through Benrey's body at the words, a smirk forming on his lips.

"Uhhh… hhh," is all the response he gets. For a moment, Gordon expects something more to come from that, for Benrey to flirt back, or act coy, or something. Peeking around their shoulder, he finally spots the nervous glance they're giving Benny, who's still in the fort, averting their eyes from the other two as a thick blush turns their face purple.

Oh. Gordon forgot they were here, which isn't… good. He really shouldn't start this kind of thing around them. Even if he'd discussed this with Benrey already, that doesn't make it okay for him to involve Benny in things without their permission. Judging by the look on their face, they don't want to be involved.

That doesn't stop Gordon from being curious, though. What would happen if he asked them to stay, if he invited them to join whatever happens between him and Benrey? While the thought has his body heat traveling further south, he has to keep those ideas to himself. Giving in to temptation could lead to everything crashing and burning.

"Benny, do you mind giving us some space?" Gordon feels guilty asking this of them, sending them away first thing in the morning. But he also really wants to follow the desire coiling in his stomach, the one that urges him to pin Benrey down and ravage them until they're mewling and begging for release.

Luckily, Benny is quick to agree, keeping their gaze averted as they scramble out of the fort. Some shuffling noises follow as they pull on their shoes, before the sound of their footsteps grow distant, then silent.

Now that they're alone, Gordon doesn't hesitate to let his hands trail up along Benrey's sides. "So, where were we?"

"Uh," Benrey starts, finally relaxing in his hold and leaning back into him. "Was gonna, uhh… teach me. Been bad… bad boy. Fighting. Pulling pranks. Gonna punish me, huh? Gonna spank me?" 

Gordon can't help but snort a laugh. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" As he says this, the hand not currently mapping out Benrey's chest drifts down towards their ass. There, he grabs hold of one plump cheek before giving it a less than gentle smack. The reaction is instantaneous, with Benrey's hips jerking and a filthy moan falling from their lips. 

"Aahhh…! Haaah… Another, sir?"

While he doesn't want to hurt Benrey, slapping them felt oddly satisfying. There's a pleasant tingling warmth on his palm, and he'd felt the jiggle of Benrey's ass even beneath the fabric of their lounge pants. He could get into this. Especially with the way Benrey writhes in his grasp, their ass grinding against his now hard cock. 

"Yeah? You like that?" he breathes into their ear. "Is that what I need to do to make you be nice? Give you a good, hard spanking?" He punctuates the sentence by slapping the side of their ass again. It's tricky to reach their backside in this position, but Benrey doesn't seem to care.

"Nnnhh…! Yeah, yeah, please? Please, sir, some more? Please?"

That's all the convincing Gordon needs. It's been well established by now that Benrey enjoys pain during sex, often to a degree that worries him. But a little bit of spanking? That's nothing.

Gordon grabs Benrey by the neck, pushing them down onto the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. They go down easily, keeping their ass raised in the air. With one swift motion, Gordon drags their pants down, exposing the pale flesh of their ass as well as the writhing length of their tentacle, now fully out of its sheath. 

The sight of them like this almost has Gordon reconsider the spanking. Blue slick drips down their thighs, their slit looking so fuckable like this. But if he doesn't follow through, he knows Benrey's going to get pissy.

Besides, if two smacks is all it takes to reduce them to this, Gordon's very curious what a few more will do.

"We'll do it like this," he says, surprising himself with just how steady his voice comes out. "I'll give you… uh, ten hits. You'll count them, and if you can keep from cumming until you've gotten all ten, I'll give you ten more, as a reward." While speaking, Gordon keeps running his hand up and down their cheeks, feeling them quiver beneath his fingers. As he keeps speaking though, he dips lower, dipping into their slit. "But if you cum or lose count, I'll fuck you instead."

It's a win-win situation for Benrey, Gordon knows that. But he's pretty sure they're more interested in the spanking than his dick in this situation; one is new and exciting, the other something they've had time to get used to. He's going to fuck them no matter what, of course, unless they don't want him to. But he doubts that, knowing how greedy they can be. 

He doesn't have to wait for an answer from Benrey, who starts to nod before he's even finished speaking. "Got—Ten, gonna catch 'em all," Benrey whines. "Fuck, please do it? Please?"

Gordon smirks at that. Without giving them time to prepare, he rears back and slams his palm down against their ass. It connects beautifully, his hand tingling from the force of it. The sound is startlingly loud, his ears heating up at the thought of anyone hearing it.

"Fuaahh…! Nnnghh, o-one," Benrey stutters, their whole body twitching as their tentacle drips down onto the comforter beneath their hips. 

Gordon lets out a condescending coo at that, rubbing his hand briefly over the blue mark his hand has left behind. "See, you're getting it. What a good and smart boy you are." He receives nothing but a low groan in response, Benrey's hips pushing up into his soothing touch.

The next few slaps garner mostly the same reaction. Benrey twitches and shivers, whining as they shakily count each and every slap. With their ass turning a lovely shade of blue, and their face a flushed mess of drool, sweet voice, and a few tears, they're truly a sight to behold.

It's more than just the workout that has Gordon's breaths growing labored, beads of sweat forming on his brow. He's now entirely focused on delivering each slap, giving up on palming himself through his pants lest he bring himself too close to release. Wouldn't that be embarrassing? If he were the one to cum before the tenth slap.

At the seventh, there's a ripping sound that draws Gordon's gaze down to where Benrey's claws have torn straight through the blanket beneath them, igniting a spark of concern in his chest. Is it too much? Are they in pain?

"Uhh… Can you gimme a color, babe?" he asks, leaning over them to get a better look at their face. As he does he's almost hit by a stream of green, only cut off as Benrey begins to speak. 

"Don't, don't, come on. Gonna… I'll bite. Bite sooo hard, be bad, be real bad. Gotta—Come on, please?"

The relief that washes over him is palpable, a smile forming on his face. Knowing how much they want this gives him just what he needs to keep going, knowing that the big bad beast that tore apart so many aliens just yesterday could fall apart under his hands like this. The last few hits are delivered with extra force, drawing increasingly desperate sounds out of Benrey. Even as the tenth strike falls and they're reduced to a shivering, panting mess, they've still yet to cum, just as he told them to.

"Good job," he coos, his praise dripping with the same condescending tone as before. "Think you've earned another ten for being so resilient."

"Yaaay," is the weak and muffled response he gets. Gordon holds back a laugh, not wanting to break kayfabe just yet. 

"Don't have to count these ones. And don't hold back, either."

Benrey clearly takes these words to heart, because as Gordon gives them another hard slap, their whole body seizes up, a stream of purple cascading from their mouth as they come hard onto the comforter below. Gordon is so taken aback by the whole display that he sits back and watches, his eyes finding Benrey's slit as it pulses with the force of their orgasm, slick dripping down their thighs. The sight sends a jolt of arousal through him, his cock twitching where it's still trapped inside his briefs. 

"Shit, Benrey," he breathes as he watches them slowly come back down off their high, their body twitching from the force of their orgasm. "You okay? You want me to stop, or—"

"N-Nine more." 

"What?"

"Did good," Benrey breathes, their finger placed halfway between their teeth as they stare back at him over their shoulder. "Gimme nine more."

This time, Gordon fails to contain his laughter, coming out as a low chuckle as he carefully moves to lie Benrey across his lap. "So greedy," he mumbles as he strokes their ass, reveling in them hissing at the pain. "Alright, I'll give you nine more, and then I'm going to fuck you, because I know you're not satisfied with just this, are you?"

Gordon can see the grin on their face when they shake their head, even as they try to hide it in the pillow beneath their head.

Despite being so hard it almost hurts, Gordon takes his time with the next nine strikes, pausing to stroke their warm flesh between each and every one. Having it dragged out sees Benrey clawing and writhing at his every touch, more beautiful and desperate little noises falling from their lips. At the last one, their tentacle is writhing desperately against Gordon's thigh, suckers clinging to the skin there. 

"You've done so well, babe," Gordon purrs. "Gonna give you such a nice reward."

Carefully, Gordon rearranges them again. After all the spanking, they've turned to jelly, making it easy to position them to his liking, laid on their stomach with their ass up. While he doesn't think Benrey minds the pain, this position might give their ass more relief than if he placed them down on their back.

"Same as before," he murmurs. "Stoplight system, tell me if you need a break." 

While he speaks, he drags his hand down Benrey's spine, all the way to the cleft of their ass. Dipping in, he brushes the pads of his fingers over their asshole, resisting the urge to push inside to instead travel even lower, where his fingers meet the moist heat of Benrey's slit. He pushes two fingers inside as Benrey whines, gathering up some slick to cover his cock with.

"I'm gonna fuck you," Gordon tells them, rubbing the head of his cock against their slit while enjoying the feeling of the suckers at the base of their tentacle attaching and releasing. "But you're not allowed to cum again until I tell you to. You gotta be a good boy for me, alright? I know you can."

He doesn't push inside until he hears Benrey moan, taking that as a sign of approval. They feel amazing as always, their suckers providing that extra bit of friction nothing else can. After a few thrusts standing on his knees, the temptation to sink his teeth into their neck has him leaning over their back to reach it, brushing away strands of dark hair to expose the mark on their nape. It's faded to a pale white, but still, he doesn't bite, pressing a kiss to it for now.

"Fuck, Benrey, you always feel so good around my cock," he groans, giving the mark another kiss, sucking gently at the skin. "So perfect for me to fuck."

"Good…!" Benrey groans, their face buried into the pillow. "Fuck, please, let me cum, I'll be good." Their hands are pawing at the blanket again, ripping it up even further in their desperation. "Hahhhh—hnnnggh—Please, please—" 

How can he deny them when they sound like this? So desperate for it. That's why he gives them permission despite his initial plan to make them wait for it.

"It's okay, I got you, babe. I got you. Cum whenever you want." 

Gordon braces himself with one hand against the mattress, the other grasping onto Benrey's tentacle, finally giving it something to wrap around. For the final nail in the coffin, he sinks his teeth deep into their neck, the results instantaneous. Their whole body tenses up, legs locking into place and giving Gordon the leverage to thrust harder into their slit, the wet noises of their coupling filling the air. A pressure builds at the base of his cock as his hips continue to snap forward, seeking his release.

But he refuses to tip over the edge until he feels Benrey spasm underneath him, tentacle going rigid in his grasp as it spurts its pale blue juices all over the blankets below. Finally, he lets himself go, fucking with a wild abandon before finally burying himself deep, groaning around the flesh in his mouth as the pleasure overtakes him. It's mind-blowingly good in a way that takes him by surprise, his body pulsing in time with the spurts of cum he's filling them up with. It lasts far longer than anything he's ever experienced before—not even the purple sweet voice had him riding his high this long.

But it dies down eventually, leaving him twitching against Benrey's back. Releasing their neck, he gives the mark a final kiss, before moving to lie beside them.

Or so he'd like. But there's just one teensy little problem: Gordon can't pull out. Moving his hips back yields nothing, like Benrey's slit has grown a thousand times tighter and trapped him inside. Panic starts to creep down his neck as he reaches down to investigate. What he finds has him freezing in place. So… apparently it's not Benrey that's changed, it's him.

Nestled neatly inside Benrey's slit, which he knows only because he was able to trace a fingertip around it, is the base of his cock, which has swollen into a bulbous knot, locking the two of them in place. 

"Uhhhh…!" Gordon does his very best to hide the fear in his voice, but he's not so sure he's successful, mind clouded with confusion and panic as it is. "Benrey… I—I think I—Why do I have a fucking knot?!"

Beneath him, Benrey stirs. "Huh?" they drunkenly mumble, pushing against the bed to get up, but the knot keeps them firmly in place. "Gordon—?" Any hope that they'd know what's going on dies when he hears the borderline panicked tone in their voice. "THE FUCK?"

He feels how they reach down between their legs, feeling around for it, fingers tracing over the spot where they're tied together. The feeling sends a shiver down Gordon's spine, everything suddenly overstimulating and loud. 

"Whuh—hhhh," Benrey breathes, seemingly going through every stage of grief at once. "You're not gonna—If you get me pregnant YOU'RE the one staying up with them on the tit, okay, I'm not doing it!"

Gordon's panic mounts as Benrey's comment sinks in. He hadn't even thought that they might… They're like cat and dogs, right? Right?! Although, cats don't get knots. And that sure as fuck is a knot right there at the base of his cock, swollen and starting to get uncomfortable. His breath quickens in a not so fun way, chest growing tight.

Then there is the sound of a familiar sweet voice song as blue starts to flow out of Benrey's mouth. Their head is twisted backwards, aiming the bubbles towards Gordon who eagerly opens his mouth to swallow down the calming concoction. The taste of blue raspberry explodes in his mouth, filling his world with calm. As his body relaxes, he slumps over their back again, and only a few minutes later the knot starts to go down so he can slip out. 

Once he's calm, Benrey slumps against the sheets, where Gordon follows his instinct to lie down beside them and pull them close to his chest. The panic is held at bay by the sweet voice long enough for him to cuddle and kiss them, but there's only so much sweet voice can do and soon the fear and worry start to slip back in. 

Sitting up, Gordon examines his now soft cock. It looks the same, kind of. Maybe a little wrinklier at the base where it swelled up earlier, but the point is that it's hurt or damaged him in any way. Despite that, he's stuck wondering how in the hell that even happened. Looking up he finds Benrey still lying on the bed, now wrapped up in a blanket, watching him with dazed eyes.

The need to protect them rears its ugly head again, though now, it's from himself. With so much new shit happening in their life lately, having that extend to Gordon as well… it must've scared the shit out of them. And Gordon's in no state to comfort them. His thoughts dart around like scared little rabbits, impossible to get a hold of. He needs time to think, to analyze the situation, to be a scientist.

"I uh… I'm going to go for a walk. Think for a bit. I'll be back, I promise, I just—I need some time alone."

Pressing a quick kiss to their lips, Gordon hurries out of the fort, ignoring Benrey's mumbled protests. Dressing is a quick affair and before Benrey has time to climb out of their little nest, he's out of the store, wandering down the corridor in a random direction.

- ♡ -

The sudden loss of warmth as Gordon flees the fort with nothing but a hasty explanation snaps Benrey back to reality like a hard slap in the face. The fort is no longer as comfortable as it once was, but having just come out of sub space, startling revelation or not, has them lagging behind. By the time they've made it to the exit, Gordon's already gone. Tired and dizzy, they sit back down, one leg dangling off the bed, just staring out at the empty store.

What just happened? Putting all the pieces together in their head is tricky. They shouldn't be thinking yet, they should be warm and cozy in their boyfriend's arms getting loved on. Maybe even carried to the food court for some tasty treats. But none of that's happening, and it's hard not to wonder if there's something they did wrong.

Sluggishly, Benrey puts the pieces together in their mind. There was the knot, that's super fucking weird. They've fucked a lot of guys and none of them ever had that, except Tommy, of course. But Gordon's never had it before. So why does he have it now?

More to the point, is he mad about it? Did it hurt? Is he freaked out? No matter the cause, he's going to think Benrey did this to him. That they changed him. Despite doing nothing intentionally, he must think they've crossed a line. He'll give them the benefit of the doubt at first, then… maybe he won't want to have sex with them anymore. After their intimacy dies, the relationship as a whole goes next. Or his faith in them will die first, thinking they did this on purpose, that they violated his bodily autonomy to make him more alien, and he'll get mad.

Panic starts to swell in Benrey's chest as they consider these things, their stomach filling with dread as their breaths hasten. That they didn't even do anything, not on purpose, doesn't matter. There's a lot of things they "didn't do" that Gordon would blame them for anyway, or normal things they'd do that'd piss him off. It doesn't matter when it comes to Gordon's anger, blazing, paranoid, and irrational.

And one day, it'll come back. Maybe even today—he has someone else, after all. Someone with, presumably, all the same powers, who's nicer and more useful and cuter and…

Before they even know what they're doing, Benrey's jumped up, dragging their clothes back on before they're suddenly outside the food court. Here, Benny's taking down all the laundry they hung up and folding them into bags. They're taking down the last article when Benrey shows up, their feet taking them over to the other alien and holding them from behind, a startled teal hum escaping them. The fabric of their sweater is ridiculously soft, and Benrey rubs their face against it.

"Um, hello," Benny quietly says, looking back at them before finishing their work. Now unoccupied, they reach back to place their hand on Benrey's head, hesitating before beginning to stroke their hair. "Something bad?"

"He left…" Benrey mumbles against the fabric of Benny's sweater. "Why he do…"

"Oh." There's a pause before they speak again. "Um, I'm sorry." Benrey lets out a stream of black, bassy bubbles, as Benny turns in their arms, returning the hug. Fingers run through their hair, a gentle purple hum filling the air.

But it's all just too much. Like karma. Benrey got to fuck around while Gordon was going through hell at Black Mesa, and now they have to experience thing after thing, some stressful, others confusing or scary. And then their safety net pulls away, the plug yanked free to let in all sorts of thoughts. Benny kisses their forehead, humming purple-green-blue, but Benrey turns their head so they can't see it.

"It was a joke," they say, slurring their words. "S'not… duh! Dog! Can't… alchemy into baby… think I'd know if I was fulla egg." The perplexed look Benny's giving is missed with Benrey's face buried in their shoulder. "He's a dog. Just surprised me. Why did he LEAVE."

Hands grasp onto the sides of Benrey's face, redirecting them to face Benny as a series of blue orbs are hummed into their open mouth. Their lashes flutter, expression going slack before their body sags against Benny, who returns to petting them. The next thing they know, they've been lead back to the fort, where Benny sets the laundry aside before climbing inside with them, where they're laid in Benny's lap, fingers combing through their hair.

Benrey sighs. Checking their map reveals that Gordon is still inside the mall—he didn't leave completely. Didn't start to think being around two aliens was turning him into one, so he fled to get away from them.

"It's just a knotcock!" Benrey suddenly exclaims, an embarrassed look coming over Benny's features.

"Uhhhh… do you want video games?" Benny asks. Pathetically, Benrey nods. Benny pets them one last time before getting up to set up the PlayStation, asking them what they want to play and putting in Vice City when Benrey asks for it. They hand over the controller before laying down beside them.

Both laying on their front, they watch the opening cutscene, which Benrey quotes word-for-word in a mumbling voice. Benny keeps commenting on how pretty the colors and aesthetics are while Benrey tells them not to read the name of the scooters out loud. The violence makes Benny uncomfortable, commenting that it looks like it hurts whenever Benrey starts stabbing random people for fun. After a while, they get choosy about when they look at the screen, playing with Benrey's hair for the remainder of the time.

- ♡ -

It's easier for Gordon to think when his body is in motion. This way, he's able to go over the facts, to form a hypothesis. For starters, he's undergone a physical change to match Benrey's sexual anatomy. Secondly, based on Benrey's reaction, this has not happened before with any of their previous sexual partners. And lastly, both Benrey and Benny are shapeshifting fungus aliens who don't follow the laws of physics. But what does this all mean?

It means… whatever Benrey's done with Gordon has been different. From what Benrey told him, the biting and those black tendrils are a new phenomena for them. That's their body reacting to Gordon as a breedable mate instead of just a casual sexual partner.

Then, there's all the fluids Gordon's been ingesting lately, from their sweet voice to their cum. Just yesterday he'd all but bathed in it and didn't clean it off. Fuck, he can still feel the faint stickiness of their saliva on his skin. Could that have caused a physical reaction? Allowed him to inherit some small part of their abilities? That's actually really cool, at least, if not for how terrifying it could be if left unchecked. Their species is even more potent in multiplying than he first thought, if he's ending up with all these changes. But that probably doesn't include getting them pregnant.

That thought makes Gordon stop in his tracks, the heat in his face making him dizzy as he buries his face in his hands. This is such a mess, and he really shouldn't be attracted to the idea.

So, that's the problem, but what's the solution? Stop having sex entirely?

No way. They deserve to share this intimacy with each other, it would be cruel to deprive the two of them of such things. Besides, humans have all kinds of ways to stop pregnancies. They'll just have to be more careful with how they have sex. It's not the first time Gordon's had partners that are able to carry children, after all.

Looking around, he tries to figure out where his legs have carried him. That's when he spots the Spencers they went to yesterday. Now, he didn't exactly check the place out yesterday, barely spent any time in it at all really, but he was fourteen year old boy once, laughing about the fuzzy handcuffs and dildos in the local Spencers. And gazing longingly at the pride merchandise, but that's a different, more depressing story. The point is, this place should have exactly what he needs, which is why he heads on inside.

Around an hour later, he exits with a bag in each hand. It's… definitely more than he intended to grab. Walking back with these makes him feel silly—did he go overboard? Maybe he didn't need all this. Some of the stuff he grabbed, it was so easy picturing how he could use it with Benrey, and before Gordon knew it, he'd filled two whole bags. Benrey's going to tease him and call him a pervert, Gordon just knows it.

He's not sure where Benrey might be, but he starts with the blanket fort and hits the jackpot right away. From the entrance to the store, he hears the familiar sound of video game gunfire, taking a deep breath to steel his nerves before approaching the fort. It's not like he can hide from them, after all.

When he gets there, only Benny glances his way, with Benrey's attention solidly on their game. That makes him nervous, but he puts on a smile, sets the bags down on the bed, and climbs inside the fort.

"Hey… Sorry I bolted," he says. "I… I needed some time to think. But I'm… uhh, I'm done thinking now and I—" He gestures to the nondescript black bags. "I brought some stuff that might… help us?" In the end, Gordon has no idea if anything he's brought will help.

But at least it gets him a response. Benrey's face is inscrutable, but they pause their game to look up and go, "Huh?" 

Of course they're not making this any easier for him. All Gordon can tell is they're not throwing themselves at him to welcome him back. Not that they've ever done that. Because… all the times Gordon's left have been pretty bad. Shit, maybe that made them nervous? Did they think he was going to leave leave?

Gordon bites his lips, pushes those thoughts aside. He told them he needed space and that he'd be back, and they have a mini-map to keep track of him. They're equipped to deal with it.

"Sorry, Benny," Gordon starts, swallowing down his anxiety. "Can you give us a minute?"

The alien leaves easily and without protest, switching the TV off on their way out as Benrey sets the controller down on the floor. Gordon takes the time to breathe and think through what he wants to say, but every thought makes him feel like he's Sisyphus rolling a boulder uphill, never getting anywhere.

"I got us, uhhh…" Too embarrassed to say it out loud, he instead pulls out the items he first went into the store to get: a few different boxes of condoms. "I found some different sizes, these should fit your human one." Gordon pushes a box of XL condoms Benrey's way, his face growing warm. Fuck, why is he getting embarrassed now? They're only condoms! How he'll get through the rest of these bags without combusting, he doesn't know, but he'll try his best. "I-I even found some flavored ones, thought that might be fun."

They didn't have any blue raspberry ones, but they did have strawberries and chocolate. Gordon stacks the condoms in a little pile in the middle of the bed, where Benrey sits up to investigate.

"Dope. Thanks," Benrey says, sounding thoroughly unenthused and a little confused while setting the pack of condoms down on the floor next to their controller.  The reaction has Gordon a little miffed, he'll admit. He'd hoped they would understand why he's doing this by now, but he won't let it deter him.

"I-I got us some lube as well, since—You know, I think I've ingested too much sweet voice and—and cum." Gordon has to force himself not to mumble that last word as he pulls out a few bottles of lube, which Benrey starts investigating. "It's the only reason I can figure out for why it happened to me, and not anyone else you had sex with. I don't know how it works, but… I respect your wish not to get pregnant, and I'll make sure not to fuck you raw from now on out, okay?" Having gotten that all out, Gordon feels a little better. "Yeah… so that's what I went looking for and I sort of, I got carried away I guess." 

No use dragging it out, Gordon simply upheaves the rest of the bags on the bed, letting the various sex toys he'd gotten tumble out. There's dildos, vibes, even a massage staff. Those things are pretty normal, but since Gordon definitely isn't normal, he'd started adding other things as well. Like the plugs, the black cock ring made of rubber, the handcuffs, a length of silky smooth rope, a blindfold, and, because Gordon has lost control of his life completely by this point, a ring-gag.

"Ta-dahh…" Gordon makes a meek gesture towards the pile of things before hiding his tomato red face in his hands. "If you tease me I will start crying."

- ♡ -

Benrey is confused. Like, really confused. In his absence, they've gone from upset to a different, angrier upset, and it flares up even worse at some of his explanations. They were confused and scared, too! But it's unfair to think that. Benrey runs away all the time, they can't get mad at Gordon for doing the same thing, and much more gently, at that.

But then he comes back with condoms, for some reason. What, he gets a knot and suddenly he doesn't want to creampie them anymore? Rude. Unfair.

Benrey watches and half-listens as Gordon goes through the rest. Lube is fun, they especially like the kind that smells and tastes really nice. Sweet voice is one thing, but actual lube is thicker and less runny. Setting aside the flavored condoms, they start looking through the bottles with interest, finding more strawberry scented and flavored stuff, no surprises there. There's even one that's a bit citrus-y, not quite like their orange sweet voice but they can see the inspiration.

It's the words "I'll make sure not to fuck you raw" that snap Benrey back to full attention. "Whuh?" they blurt, looking up from the bottle in their hands to the humiliated look on Gordon's face. They have to spend time going over the past few minutes in their mind to figure out what the rest of that sentence had been, and it stuns them into silence.

As if that hadn't been enough, Gordon has to go and show off everything else he found. Their eyes move from item to item, brain buffering extremely slowly. There's just—SO much to take in. It's really a lot. They're still stuck on "I'll make sure not to fuck you raw" while their brain is trying to skip ahead to the handcuffs and rope, creating a huge jumble in their mind. It's like there's a cat unraveling a ball of yarn all over their brain, and the yarn is getting tangled and the cat is tangled in the yarn and… they don't remember where they were going with that metaphor.

It's cool that Gordon got them all these cool toys, they guess, but without any explanation they have no idea how to react to it. They're, like… what are they doing right now? What did Gordon say earlier? Why did he go to a sex shop? Why is he looking so worried? That kitty yarn is starting to feel like a garrote on their brain. They look back at the toys, trying to think, but not getting anywhere.

"Wait… uh," Benrey starts, dangling a pair of handcuffs from their finger. "Can we—rewind. I'm confused. Why can't you fuck me raw?"

While a totally valid question, somehow Gordon takes issue with it. "Whuh—You said you didn't want to get pregnant! That's why I went out of my way to get this stuff, because of what's happening to me! You even thought of it before me, what the knot meant. I was a cat and now I'm turning into a dog." 

Wait, that's—That's not right? But before Benrey has the chance to protest, Gordon barrels on. 

"Whatever you are, fungus, space traveler, invasive species… the point seems to be to multiply. That's why you look like you do now, human, I mean. So like, you have the skeletons, that gives you a breedable partner in a matter of days. But if that doesn't work,with enough ingestion of your genetic material like sweet voice or—or cum, you can force an adaptation in the species surrounding you, making them capable of impregnating you. I think, at least. It's the only conclusion that made sense to me. And I don't… I don't wanna give up sex, alright? Unless that's something you want, which I would respect because I love you and all that, but…" 

Benrey continues to stare at him as the reality of their situation dawns on them. That shit they'd said about pregnancy, he actually thought they were serious?! So much so that he's got a whole fucking hypothesis about it, and yeah, it makes sense, but also, what?!

Pausing, Gordon shuffles forward, placing a hand on Benrey's shoulder that they stare at in total confusion. "I want you to feel safe with me, alright?" he continues. "I got us both condoms, and a bunch of other toys to play around with if that wouldn't work, because… I want to make you feel good, and loved, Benrey. You deserve that. I want to be the kind of partner you deserve."

Lifting their gaze, they blink slowly at him, eyes wide. Words fail them as he just keeps going and going. Worse is that he's being so fucking sweet about it! How are they supposed to deal with this?

"Bro, what?" Benrey squeaks. "That was joking. You can't get me pregnant, whuh—uhhh—hhhhhhhhhh—" They lay down, burying their face in the mattress as they hum a calm down blue to make their brain stop hurting. When they raise their head back up it's to say, "Listen, I know what I GOT under the hood and it's not a womb or eggs or—like I did google, okay, I got internet access, lookin' at, websites—I don't do both the things! I do one of the things and it's not that, okay! Look, you—you gotta raw me or I'll DIE!"

That last part comes out a little whiny and it's what it all boils down to, really; they got some specific tastes and fetishes, ways they like going about things. They're that asshole who sees someone take out a condom and throws that shit across the room, no thank you! Cream me, sir! Even worse is the thought that they're capable of getting pregnant, which is not something they've ever had to question.

"Tommy's got this shit too, you know?" Benrey continues, as Gordon's face slowly turns a deep shade of red. They aren't sure if it's an angry red or not. "He pumps me full of that cream soda all the time, bro, and we haven't had kittens yet. Even if you were cats like us, that doesn't mean you can pump ME full of your kittens. Like I'm sure they'd be the cutest ever but there's not gonna be little gordito supreme kittens running around. You can bag that shit for other people if you want but I'm ordering it without the shell please, sir. THANKS. Thank you."

When Gordon grabs a pillow and hides behind it, it becomes clear he's turned an embarrassed red.

"Fuuuuck just kill me right now, this is too embarrassing!" he groans. "Why—Why did you even say that shit, then?! I was freaking the fuck out because my dick was suddenly a fucking balloon animal and you start pulling jokes?!" 

Gordon's reaction has Benrey feeling like maybe they went too far, but to their credit, hearing his explanation had freaked them the fuck out, so they're not exactly operating at peak nice-and-polite.

Pushing the toys aside, Benrey scoots over next to Gordon. "Hey," they say. "It's okay. Woulda… but like my brain crashed. You ever—You never had this happen to you right. How am I supposed to react? 'Cuz I don't know. S'not like… I mean it's not like it doesn't make some sense. But bro, I don't… can't get preggers, good news, got, proof and everything. Just don't think about Sunkist he was made in a lab."

They wrap their arms around Gordon, holding him around the waist. "Hey, you got all these fun toys," they press. "I uh—always wanted… learn tie rope. I freak out when I get tied up though so—Uh. Not me. But uh, the handcuffs are cute, I could do those. They're like, all fuzzy, I like that."

- ♡ -

Gordon's trying his hardest to stay offended by this whole situation, but Benrey's not making that easy. Why do they have to be so nice to him? Couldn't they have done that earlier, before he made a fool of himself? But of course Benrey had fallen back on joking around, that's how they cope. Doesn't make the misunderstanding less embarrassing, though.

But it's hard to stay mad when they're trying so hard to be nice. And the thought of Benrey tying him down does interest him greatly, a shiver running through him as his mind wanders.

Eventually Benrey's soft words break him down, so he lowers the pillow to return their embrace, of which they waste no time squeezing him tighter against their chest, their hand finding its way into his hair. It all has Gordon melting into the touch. He's barely been away from Benrey for an hour, and already he's touch starved. There's just something with Benrey's hugs that hit differently. 

"You really think our kids would've been cute?" he mutters, burying his face in Benrey's shoulder. 

It's not like Gordon wants more kids. Joshua is more than enough for him. Despite that, the thought's taken hold of him, and somewhere in the back of his mind he had entertained the idea that maybe, when the journey is over and they've settled into their new lives, he wouldn't mind it so much. It's not like he's disappointed, but it had been a fun idea to toy around with.

"They be sooooo cute bro," Benrey assures him. "And sooooooooo evil. They'll scream all night but they'll be screaming in colors and you won't be able to read their little baby colors. And then they'll bite your hands and like, eat those little rubber things on the baby bottle. And then when they start walking you'll wake up and see they brought you little gift, dead bird. Make sure they don't go stick fork in, plug-in, or else, you're gonna have twins. And that's not even the HALF of it bro. When I was baby I could scream SOOOO loud it would short out the power. It's like Monsters Inc."

Gordon smiles as they describe their imaginary offspring, chuckles at the chaos they describe. It's not too far off from what it's actually like to raise a child. Gordon only understands Joshua half the time, his childlike babbling beyond Gordon's comprehension. And although Joshua has never brought him a dead bird, he has brought him all manner of other weird and sometimes dead things. But it's worth it to see him laugh, grow, and learn.

A pang of longing hits Gordon in the chest, and he curls closer to Benrey, suddenly missing his son more than anything else in the world. Benrey keeps running their fingers through his hair, gently sorting through tangles.

"Maybe," Benrey starts, "Tommy could make you a little uhhh. Crunch wrap. Mini Freeman but with featuring, Benrey. Then Tommy could make another one for me and him and it'd be like Boruto. Second gen. Repopulate whole world. And we'll like… eat all the aliens and no more dangerous."

Closing his eyes, Gordon listens as they describe what's basically a tube baby. It's a cute idea, and it helps soothe the pain of missing his son. A little sibling for him might be nice, several of them, even. For a moment, he indulges in the fantasy of creating a family with the people he loves. It's a nice thought.

Gordon sighs, finding Benrey's mouth in the darkness and capturing it with his own in a tender kiss. "Maybe," he mumbles against their lips. "I love you."

"Love you too," they mumble back. "You wanna talk me about all these toys?"

The existence of all the sex toys invading their little fort is something Gordon had been hoping to ignore, but, with a sigh, he lifts his head to face the collection. It still feels silly, having gone and brought half a sex shop worth of toys just because Benrey had dropped one joke about getting pregnant.

"Tell me 'bout this," Benrey continues, lifting up a strap-on with two holes. "What you doin' with this? You got sexy little thoughts in your sexy little head? Lil' fantasies you wanna share with the class?"

The sight of the toy has Gordon's face turning red. "It's uhh… it's a double strap." Plucking it out of Benrey's hand, he picks up one of the dildos that he chose for this reason. It's a deep blue, more stylised than realistic. "You put a dildo through here," he demonstrates by slipping it through the ring, securing it into place. So far, Benrey looks bored; he'd guess this isn't new information for them. "Then you strap it on around your waist and thighs and…" He trails off, face burning even hotter as he pauses to take a breath. "And then you can put your real dick here, and fuck two people at once." 

That get's Benrey's interest, their eyes going big and a few bubbles flowing out of their mouth. "You think I could put somethin' double sided in that one," they point at the bottom hole on the harness, "Then everyone get fucked at once?"

Benrey's mind is galaxy sized when it comes to horny stuff, apparently. Gordon should have known they would come up with something amazingly debauched. He hadn't even thought about getting something double sided. It seems that another trip down to the store might be in order.

"Yeah, that—" He has to pause to swallow, his mouth going dry. "I think that could work."

"Nice," Benrey says. "Tommy's not really a bottom but who knows what could happen."

That… wasn't who Gordon had in mind when he found the strap, but it's not an unwanted suggestion. It's just not one he can ponder for long with all his lingering guilt to muddy things up.

Benrey's eyes trail over everything else, the bondage gear in particular. "What did you have in mind for… all this?" they prompt, gesturing to the rope, handcuffs, and whatnot. "Or is this just like, duh, you gotta have it. Couple'a kinksters obviously we have rope, right."

Gordon has been restrained before. Nothing complicated, only a pair of fuzzy novelty handcuffs like the ones lying before him now. It had been fun, a bit of a strain on his shoulders, but fun none the less.

"I guess, since you aren't keen on being restrained that leaves..." Gordon trails off, holding his hands out, wrists together. "It's an act of trust, at least that's what I was taught. And...I trust you, both of you. So yeah...that's something I'm willing to try."

"Dope," Benrey says."This is gonna be real fun to mess with. You can, uh… I'm down for… all of it, just not the rope. I'm like, Claws-toe-phobic."

"Yeah, I could get into that. No blindfold for me though, at least for now." The reason why, that he doesn't like being in the dark ever since the ambush, is something he doesn't want to discuss right now. Luckily, Benrey doesn't ask. Probably because- "Wait, you're claustrophobic?"

"Huh? Yeah," Benrey says, looking up from their investigation of the rope to give him a slightly puzzled look. "Didn't you read my wiki?"

"What—No, I… I don't remember you saying that before."

Though, now that he says that, he thinks he can remember a few instances where that came up. It's not every day you're trapped in a tight space. Even the elevators at Black Mesa were spacious. But he does remember boxing Benrey into his locker once on accident, and they hadn't been very happy about it. It's not something he's ever thought about, dismissing it as simple agitation that he was in the way. Now he wonders if there'd been other instances of that, or if he wouldn't have known with how closed off they are and their habit of coping with humor.

"Why don't we… since we're on the topic and all," Gordon awkwardly starts. "Let's, you know. Lay out all the things we don't like. No judgment."

"Cool," Benrey says, and then doesn't say anything more, watching Gordon expectantly.

"Okay… well, you know a lot of what I'm like already, but, just in case… I, uh, I'm not a big fan of pain. Real squishy and fragile, not like you." Benrey smirks a little when he says that. "Same with giving it. If you want the extreme stuff, you're gonna have to ask Tommy. And no masks, figured that out the hard way. No blindfolding me either. And… that's it, I think. That's uh… that's my list."

There's a pause as Benrey gives a subtle nod, like someone pretending to listen to a conversation that has no idea the other person stopped talking. But Gordon knows better by now. They're thinking, though of what, he can't be certain. Still, he waits for them to finish, patiently awaiting their response.

"Cool here's mine," they start, as if that pause didn't happen. "Uh… no tying up, got that already. Don't like to feel like I can't break out without help and rope makes things confusing. No medical play… uh…" After a moment of contemplation, realization flashes in their eyes. "Don't… uh, I like the degrading stuff but—don't… just call me gross and weird but don't call me a bad person or—I mean that's not even sexy but like… you know. Wanna be the gross annoying freak who gets off to your feet and not, like, someone you hate because I did a bad a few once or twice or a lot maybe. Uh. Think that's obvious but I dunno maybe it's not. Fun and games until… my feelings hurt."

That is a very good distinction to make, actually. Gordon hadn't thought that far ahead when degrading Benrey previously, but luckily, he hasn't done anything of the sort yet. But it probably would've turned up eventually, especially if he let that darkness inside him really take over.

"You—" Gordon pauses, his voice thick with emotion. "You're not bad, Benrey. You're the best, actually, much more than I deserve." Taking a deep breath, he tugs on their pant leg, urging them towards him. "Can you… c'mere, please? I need—" 

He's not being a bummer, Gordon tells himself. You're allowed to feel vulnerable and need physical affection when opening up about stuff like this. Benrey takes a slow breath before getting up and climbing into Gordon's lap, where they can be held and kissed.

"You are a wonderful little freak," Gordon tells them, coaxing a startled and breathy chuckle out of them. "The bestest pervert and my most beloved slut." He punctuates every degrading compliment with a kiss to different parts of their face, as their laughter grows a little more energetic with each one. "I'm lucky to have you in my life, weird kinks and all."

"Love you, too," Benrey laughs, and Gordon thinks it might be the most beautiful sound in the world. "It's like a pool," they continue. "The shallow end is nut butter and jam sams and you go in deeper and there's your winning personality and your stupid, sexy feet. There's also, uh, your laugh, and, your cooking and your hugs and your fort making abilities and your spon, sponta-new, spontane—spontaneousness. Keep me on my TOES and let me suck yours—uh I forgot what I was trying to say."

Wow, that is… actually one of the sweetest things Benrey has ever said to him without using sweet voice. So many compliments in a row with minimal teasing. Are they going soft on him? Gordon smiles, wide and goofy as he nuzzles his cheek against Benrey's. 

"I think what you mean is," Gordon says, "You're deeply in love with me. Ridiculously so. Writing me serenades and drawing Benrey Freeman in little hearts."

Maybe Gordon shouldn't throw stones, he was thinking kind of seriously of them having kids less than an hour ago after all. But teasing Benrey about these kinds of things is too much fun. Especially since he can't do it about their sexual preferences, they're into that after all.

"Whoa, how'd you know?" Benrey says, leading to a snorted laugh from Gordon. "Who told you?"

"I love you, Benrey," he says. "Your stupid laugh, weird jokes, how strong you are, your kisses and both of your dicks are kinda neat." He has to add that last part so they don't complain again.

"Only kinda?"

Well, can't win 'em all.

After that, they get everything packed up and put away before Benrey tracks down Benny, who apparently wasn't far. Out of hearing distance, but still in the store. In the meantime, Gordon's gets himself put together a little more than his hastily thrown together ensemble from earlier.

"Alright," he says, looking back at the two aliens, both sitting inside the fort waiting for him to finish up. "You guys wanna get some eats before we have to move on?"

Knowing they have to leave isn't fun. Much like the house they just left behind, he's grown to like this little fort, and much like the last one, they haven't gotten nearly enough time in it. In a perfect world, they could stay for longer, make love, play more games, watch some movies, maybe play some tabletop games, or just… talk. It's nice here, maybe even nicer than the last one.

But there's too much travel left to be done. So much more to discover. And he has a whole new person to show things to now, to introduce to the ocean, to freshly fallen snow, to cotton candy and all the other things the world has to offer. Thinking like that, it isn't quite so hard making the decision to move on.

After giving Benrey a kiss, he untangles himself from their many limbs and the pile of blankets to climb out of the fort. Everyone's dressed good enough to go fetch some breakfast, all they have to do is slap some shoes on so they're not walking barefoot on dirty mall tile.

Looking back, he sees Benrey exit the fort holding Benny's hand, leading them out like a princess in a horse drawn carriage, which clearly appeals based on the wide, goofy grin on their face when it happens. The exchange puts a smile on his face before he starts tracking down his boots.

"What do you wanna eat?" he asks as he locates one boot, and then the other. "Could whip us up some eggs and bacon. Or, I think there was a pancake place if you'd rather have that."

As the two aliens pull on their shoes, Benrey declares, "Flapjack!" at nearly the same time Benny says, "Egg bacon?" The two glance at each other before looking expectantly at Gordon, like a pair of cats begging for a bite off their owner's plate. Of course Benrey goes for the breakfast cake while Benny wants protein.

"We can do all of it, you know," Gordon laughs. "Pancakes, eggs, and bacon coming right up."

They both take one of his hands as they follow him out of the store, letting him lead the way. Gordon idly looks around as they walk, passing by Benny's laundry set up, where everything is looking fairly dry. He doesn't even remember Benny grabbing their clothes, but it must have happened at some point. Though he'd like to put some faith in Benrey… he knows they definitely didn't do this.

Once at the food court, the two aliens stick close by, wanting to help cook, even if it's just to fetch things for him. Luckily, everything they need is on hand. The place is a little fancier than, say, IHOP, with thicker cuts of bacon and custom made batter. Since the pancakes need more prep time compared to a fried egg, and knowing Benny to be a growing boy, he decides to start with the protein, demonstrating all the ways to fry an egg to the aliens.

Afterwards, he leaves them with a spatula each so he can tackle the bacon. It's a quick and easy task, freeing up his hands to prepare the pancake batter while both Benrey and Benny stare at him like ravenous owls, studying his every movement. Knowing he has their attention, he shows off a little, pouring the batter into a bottle and squeezing it out onto the grill in a heart-shape, letting it fry for a minute before flipping. Working with restaurant grade stuff is really different, because it's easily the prettiest pancake Gordon's ever made. 

Turning to the others with a smile, he says, "You guys wanna try some funky pancake shapes?" He invitingly holds out the bottle towards the pair.

The two nod in near-perfect unison before rushing over to try their hand at making something unique. Benrey starts by drawing the shape of a rabbit's head. It looks much better than they expected, fluffy and cute.

Holding the bottle out towards Benny, they look down at it with wide eyes, flicking up towards Benrey before lowering again, eyes dilating. They accept it like it's more important than it is, standing before the grill and taking a moment to think before they start to draw. The end result looks similar to Benrey's, except in the shape of a cat. They end up bickering a little over "copyright" before Benrey relents and agrees the animal shapes are cute and makes another shaped like a bear, just for Benny to make one that looks like a puppy.

"Do we get to decorate them," Benrey asks as they pass the bottle back to Gordon, distractedly licking some stray batter off their finger as they do. Meanwhile, Benny goes to take their eggs off the grill and plate them. "Chocolate sauce for face and cream and strawberries and stuff."

The way Benrey and Benny are acting is… well, not childish, but rather childlike, as if a pancake shaped like an animal is something amazing to behold. It's what happens when you're newly made or have been locked up in a science facility your whole life, he supposes. Maybe that's why Benrey feels the need to ask if they can decorate the pancakes. The thought makes Gordon feel wrong. They don't need to ask, he's not their guardian.

"Of course you can," he says. "But, Benrey… you know you don't have to ask me if you can do stuff like that, right?" It's important to him that both Benny and Benrey get to be independent people. Their relationship is already weird and codependent as it is.

"Huh?" Benrey mumbles, averting their gaze from the pancakes to turn a bemused look on him. "What are you talking about?"

"I just meant that… yeah, I want you to talk to me before you do dangerous stuff or things that might scare me, but you don't have to ask for permission to decorate a pancake."

If possible, Benrey looks even more lost, blinking owlishly at him while Benny busies themself with the eggs and bacon in the background. "Permission?" Benrey mumbles. "Bro, I just meant, like, where the strawbabbies at? Do we have those?"

The miscommunication washes over Gordon like a bucket of cold water, at once relieving and embarrassing. Even worse when Benrey just walks right on past him to find the things they're asking all on their own, giving him the time to groan before they return with chocolate sauce and some canned fruits. Benny comes over to join them, and from there, the trio starts decorating the various pancakes. It's the perfect distraction for Gordon to forget his little slip up. It's not that big of a deal, he tells himself. Not like Benrey even cares, blissfully drawing faces onto pancake animals with Benny, having already forgotten their weird exchange.

All Gordon does on his own heart-shaped pancake is write G+B+B inside it, which Benrey stares at for a moment and goes "Huh" before moving on. Not the reaction he was expecting, but he'll take it.

The pancakes turn out pretty adorably, even if some of Benrey's pancake creations are a little lopsided and it's hard to tell what animals they're even meant to be, sometimes. But Gordon's raised a toddler who draws some very obscure shapes, so he knows how to work around that sort of thing in order to compliment the two aliens on their work anyway. After they've scampered off to set the table, Gordon quickly heads for the McDonalds to fill a soda cup with as much vanilla soft serve as it'll hold, making the swirl real cute and hiding it behind his back.

Heading out to the table, Benrey looks up from the work that mostly Benny is doing to glimpse the coy smile on Gordon's face. "Benrey," he says. "I got you something."

"Yeah?" they say, voice flat but eyes big and excited.

For a moment, he ponders going down on one knee, but decides against it. That might not go over well. So instead, he simply holds the ice cream out towards them, a soft smile on his face. "It's not love ice cream but it's probably gonna go well with the pancakes," he says.

A burst of green sweet voice pops out of Benrey's mouth. "Yesssss," they cheer, accepting the cup with a lick of their lips. They go to bite down before stopping last second, fumbling for their camera, and taking a picture. "That's goin' right on the GRAM ladies."

Then they take a big bite off the top. As it melts in their mouth, they melt as well, moaning in appreciation and letting their eyes go all fluttery.

"I'm so fucking jealous that you can just bite into ice cream and not get brain freeze," Gordon comments as he sits down at the table where Benny's waiting for the others to join.

They really have made it look cute, although Gordon suspects that is mostly Benny's doing. Gordon wonders how they would take to painting and drawing. Maybe he should pick up some art supplies for them before they go. It's a good way to spend the time in the long stretches they have to spend in the van. 

Gordon makes sure to nab some bacon for his pancakes before Benny gets too into eating. It's when they've already started that they get territorial, and he likes something savory to his sweet, thank you very much. Benny still gives him a look when he plucks the bacon strips from the plate.

"I'm only taking a few!" he defends, as Benny pulls the plate closer to them, never taking their eyes off Gordon. "So stingy."

"They're growing boy," Benrey chastises. "You want them be small and die?"

Eating together is a fun, if messy affair. At least Benrey isn't making any weird taste combinations this time around. Ice cream and pancakes are a match made in heaven, and he's happy to have been able to introduce it to them. In the end, he gives most of his pancakes to Benrey, and lets Benny go ham on the protein. Benrey's right, they're a growing boy and need to eat, while Benrey has every right to indulge in new and tasty stuff. And if Gordon isn't fully stuffed as a result, that's also fine. He could stand to lose a few pounds, anyway. 

Once everything's been eaten, Benny starts cleaning up, taking all the dirty dishes and other trash away while Benrey lays their upper half on the table.

"That was soooo good," Benrey moans. "Can't wait for… next. Collie-rado… maybe has beaches? Find some little crabs or something. HOPE so." 

"Hmm, there might be some more lakes, but no ocean, unfortunately," Gordon muses. "Colorado is landlocked. There might be freshwater crabs, but that's about it." He pauses. "There's gotta be beaches somewhere, though. Worst case scenario, we find a waterpark, go on some slides and stuff, teach Benny how to swim. You can do your impression of the kraken again."

That last part is said with a wink and a nudge, a toothy smirk forming on Benrey's lips. Gordon would love to explore the tentacles more, especially now that he's gotten used to having sex with Benrey.

"Hell yeah, bro," Benrey says. "Could spend a few hours if we find one."

That's when Benny returns, rejoining the pair with an expectant look on their face. "What, um… What are we doing now?" they ask, the sound of their voice still such a novelty to Gordon that he can't help smiling at the sound of it. 

"We could—"

"Time for red light," Benrey proclaims. "Sexy shop." At the mention of the shop, Benny starts to turn purple. 

Right, Gordon had promised Benrey he'd show them the store. That would mean leaving Benny behind again, though, which is getting to be way too much of a habit today. He's about to suggest they do something else first, something that can include Benny, when suddenly…

"Wanna come?" Benrey asks.

The question takes not only Gordon by surprise, but obviously Benny as well, a soft aria of pink and yellow fluttering out of their mouth as their eyes flick between Gordon and Benrey. There's a lurch in the pit of Gordon's stomach as he sees their gaze linger on him for a moment before Benny turns back towards Benrey. 

"I—Um… I don't—"

"Don't have to anything," Benrey says, apparently dedicated to not letting anyone finish speaking today. "Just come look, for fun." And then, to Gordon's even greater surprise, they take Benny's hand. "Please?"

Benny looks stricken, mouth opening and closing a few times before they finally nod. "Okay." The word is spoken so softly, Gordon can barely hear it.

"Cool," is all the response Benrey gives before grabbing Gordon's hand and dragging them both away.

The shop doesn't take long to reach, looking just as dimly lit and edgy as Gordon remembers. It's the back of the shop they're here for, though, past a curtain into a different area of the shop. At first glance, you might think nothing of it. There's products lining the shelves forming a blur of black and white boxes, but beyond all that, you start noticing what this place really is. Gags, whips, vibrators, lingerie, and so on can be found all over, including a few headless mannequins in bondage gear or lacy red lingerie tucked away further in.

"Well, here we are," Gordon says, sounding a little too much like a school teacher announcing their arrival to the museum for his liking.

Obviously, Benrey's never been to or seen the inside of a sex shop in person, yet they stride right in and look around with an impressed whistle, completely unbothered. Unlike Benny, who looks like they want to sink into the floor and hide.

Gordon takes pity on them, gently laying his hand upon their shoulder. Yet, despite the soft touch, Benny still jumps. As their head whips up to look at him, he finds their cheeks flushed a deep purple, eyes wide and dark. He gulps. Fuck, they're really cute like this. The impulse to bend down and kiss them is powerful, but he resists it, hiding his desires behind what he hopes is a friendly smile.

"Hey, it's okay," he tells them. "You only stay as long as you like. And, uh… we'll leave you alone, if you want. Let you explore by yourself, that sound good?" It might be hard to give them total privacy in a small shop like this, but they can at least make sure they're looking at different sections. But to his surprise, Benny shakes their head. 

"Can you… can I go with you?" Their voice is small and uncertain, like they're afraid to be sent away again, and Gordon's heart skip a beat. 

"Yeah sure, of course you can—" Before the words have even finished leaving his mouth, Benny's hand has found his, their body pressing close to his side. Heat surges to Gordon's face so quickly it leaves him a little dizzy. 

Looking around, he tries to find something Benny might find less intimidating. Gordon's already been through here once, so there's nothing he needs for himself. And Benrey seems to know what they're doing, or, at least, they're having fun exploring. He watches as they pick up the giant novelty dildo and almost chokes as they hold it up to their stomach, a gross little laugh escaping them as they do so.

"Benrey… no," Gordon chides.

Of course they could take it without problem, either by shapeshifting stuff out of the way or growing large enough that it wouldn't be a problem. But Gordon refuses to roll up to the safe house with that flopping around in the trunk. The rest of their stuff is easily tucked away, but that thing… luckily, Benrey only laughs and puts it back where they found it.

Gordon turns his attention to the younger of the two instead, taking in the mortified look on their face. It worries him. He never wanted to make them uncomfortable, but that's obviously what they are right now. At the same time, though, sending them out feels like excluding them from something that could be fun. Frantic, he searches the store for a solution, spotting a display that gets an idea forming in his mind.

"Hey, Benny, look at me, okay." Gordon gently cups Benny's cheek, directing their gaze from the floor to his face. "You don't need to be here if you don't want to. But if you want to give it a try, there's some stuff over there you might like."

Guiding them by the hand, he takes them to a much softer part of the shop. This stuff isn't as realistic or flagrantly phallic like most of the other stuff. Instead, it focuses on aesthetics, as well as some pet gear of the cuter variety. Collars lined with soft fur, cat, dog, and bunny ears in silky fabrics, fingerless gloves with paw prints on. 

"It's like dressing up," he explains, watching as Benny observes the shelves, a perplexed look on their face. "And it can just be for fun, nothing more."

Though uncertain, Benny cautiously approaches the shelf, their soft blue eyes nervously glancing over the wares. Eventually, they reach out to run their fingers over the furs and silks, avoiding all the leathery stuff in favor of the gentler stuff, the friendlier looking stuff.

Picking up some of the paws, they press their thumbs into the squishy, but firm pads. And again, over and over. They're pretty well made for being in a Spencers. Benny slips them on, the black fabric blending decently into the color their claws already are. Once both are tugged on, they stare at the way the paws make them look, expression swiftly shifting into one of intrigue, a certain twinkle in their eye.

Turning back to Gordon, they hold up their new paws, pointing eagerly at them as if Gordon somehow didn't notice. Their enthusiasm warms his heart.

"They're super cute," he agrees with a warm smile. The compliment appears to please them judging by the chipper green to pink hum that comes out of them. Before he can stop himself, he lifts one of their hands to press a kiss to the plastic paw pad in the center of the glove. Their humming turns to pink-yellow, yet they still look happy, a serene smile on their flushed violet face.

After looking at the paws a little longer, they return to investigating the shelves. Gordon decides to do so as well, his eyes landing on a particular item that makes his heart flutter. Reaching over, he plucks it off the hook, ripping off the store tag before holding it up for Benny to see. It's a collar, but not one of the bulky leather ones. This one is made of a silky black fabric, almost like a choker. In the middle, though, is a small silver bell that jingles softly as Gordon moves his hand.

"I think this would be really cute," he says. "Can I put it on for you?"

As he presents the collar to them, Benny reaches up to touch the center of their throat, gently rubbing the skin there. With their other hand, they reach out and jingle the bell, imitating the light twinkling noise it makes with their sweet voice in gray. Holding very still, as if making any sudden movements would startle them out of making their choice, he watches them, taking in all the little details.

For once their eyes show more emotions than Benrey's, probably because they're so big in comparison to Benrey's half-lidded stare. It's easy for him to see the shift in Benny's emotions even as he can't understand most of their sweet voice. There's the sweet flush of their cheeks, the bashful flicker of their eyes, and how their teeth worry their bottom lip as they think Gordon's offer over. Finally, they pull back their hands and give a shy nod, placing said hands down in front of their lap like a waitress with an empty tray.

As Gordon carefully wraps the strip of fabric around their throat, he finds that his hands are shaking. It doesn't help that as his fingers graze their skin, they shiver, obviously trying their best to hold still even as a pink-yellow hum escapes them. In the back is a small clasp to adjust the size of the collar, and Gordon fiddles with it, making sure he can get a finger between the collar and Benny's neck before closing it. With that done, he lets his finger follow the silky fabric to the front, where he adjusts the bell to rest in the center of their throat.

Once it's secured, they inhale strangely, their sweet voice turning from gray to a deep blue, expression turning dazed. The effect is peculiar. It's almost as if they've inhaled some blue sweet voice, but Gordon hasn't heard them hum the familiar melody, so that can't be it. More color floods Benny's cheeks, and one hand raises to gently bat at the bell. They slowly raise their gaze to look up at Gordon. 

"Is it… looks good?" they ask, demurely batting their lashes at him.

Looking at them, Gordon finds himself stricken to the core. Every fiber of his body tells him to gather them up in his arms, to kiss them silly in response to their question. Instead, he lets out a shaky breath as he tries to formulate an answer that doesn't make him sound like a total creep. 

"It's… yeah, you look—It suits you." 

And it really does. The dark band of the collar compliments their pale skin well, making their neck look longer. Gordon wants to reach out and touch it again, to feel the contrast of their velvety skin against the soft silk.

But he can't, and a slow nod is all the response he gets, a pleased and contented purr rumbling out of Benny's chest. With one hand playing with the bell, Benny returns to looking around. There's the obvious thing that's missing, and Benny finds them quickly—the cat ear headbands, some which clip into the hair instead. They end up reaching for one of the headbands, made of a fuzzy black faux fur they keep rubbing their thumbs over, with silky pink inner ears.

Putting it on, they fuss with the alignment for a while before checking in with Gordon to ensure it's on correctly. The band doesn't bother them, but there's also not much of a reaction to it in general, unlike the collar.

Once it's on correctly, they look around more, but when their eyes land on the tails there's a burst of pink-yellow, hands flying up to cover their face. The reaction is easy to explain once Gordon glances over said tails. Even for someone as inexperienced as them, it's obvious where you're meant to wear those tails, the shape of a plug hard to mistake.

Gordon does his absolute best not to imagine Benny in something like that. He's absolutely not thinking about them naked with their back arched and ass up in the air, stuffed full by a plug with a fuzzy tail attached to it. Nope, not thinking about that at all.

"Do they have… normal ones?" they ask, peeking through their fingers to look at the other stuff on display, soothed by all the bows and fluffy faux fur.

"Uhhhh… I don't think so," he answers, even though he hasn't managed to look very closely in his attempt to keep the fantasies at bay. "We can—There might be something at the toy store, maybe. Or maybe… we could make it ourselves." By now, he's just spitballing, saying anything that comes to mind to try and banish his lurid thoughts.

"Make it?" Benny asks, curiosity clear on their face. 

Gordon's about to explain what he means when there's a rustle of plastic behind them, and he turns to find Benrey rounding a corner with two stuffed bags in either hand. 

"Quest complete," they declare. Though upon spotting Benny in all their catboy glory, Benrey's eyes widen, and they blurt out, "Yoooo, where'd the cute kitty come from?" Benny squirms under their gaze, although the look on their face clearly shows they enjoy the praise. 

"It suits them, right?" Gordon asks.

"Swag," Benrey agrees, setting down their bags in order to scritch Benny under the chin. Despite their affronted pouting, they start purring, the look on their face softening pretty quickly. As they slowly relax under Benrey's touch, Benrey glances over the shelves. "Hey, I wanna be a kitty boy." Their words trail off as they spot something on the racks. "Nevermind I got some other shit."

They pick up a few items and put them on; paw-pad gloves like Benny's, then a bunny ear headband with black fur and a matching tail, which they aren't embarrassed about holding by the plug.

"Check it out, I'm Bunrey," Benrey says. "You can kill me for saying that, I'll accept it."

Their pun has Gordon snorting, and he gives their shoulder a punch. "I'm only laughing over how bad that joke was." He ignores Benrey making faces at him and turns back to Benny instead. "You about done as well? Nothing else you wanna check out?"

Benny glances around, quickly averting their eyes from the plug in Benrey's hand, before shaking their head. 

"Alright. Benrey, got all you needed?" 

"One more thing," Benrey says, tossing the bunny tail inside their bag before grabbing some more stuff off the shelves, which they begin putting on Gordon; floppy dog ears in brown, not quite the correct shade but close enough, before guiding his hands into a pair of gloves to match the rest of them.

"There, Gordon Dogman," they declare once they've finished their work. 

"You're so fucking ridiculous, you know that?" Gordon says fondly, as he tries to ignore the arousal churning in the pit of his stomach at the thought of Benrey slipping a collar around his throat as well. That's some exploration for a later time. Speaking of… "You guys feel about done here? In the mall, I mean?"

Benny looks like they're about to say something before glancing over to Benrey, obviously waiting for them to speak first.

"Yeah I'm done," Benrey says. "Let's blow this popsicle." 

"I, um… I'm okay with leave… to leave as well," Benny says. Gordon simply nods, having confirmed his suspicions.

"Cool," he says. "I have some stuff I wanna pick up before we leave, maybe find someplace to shower. Is there anywhere like that around here?"

Two days of playing around and having sex has left Gordon feeling sticky all over. His hair is a tangled mess and he hasn't brushed his teeth since yesterday. A bit of a clean up, some new clothes, and he'll be ready to spend a few hours behind the wheel again.

Benrey gets a faraway look in their eyes for a moment as they assess their mini-map before speaking up again. "Got Planet Fitness couple minutes away. Unless you wanna wash in a sink like a little… uh, baby."

Nothing inside the mall then. That's a pity, but at least it's better then nothing. "Game plan," he starts. "We each take one last trip around the mall, pick up anything else we might want. Then we load up Daisy—Sorry—Princess Daisy, make a quick pit stop at the gym to destinkify me, and then we hit the road. How does that sound?"

"Good," Benrey says. "Gonna hit up GameStop, grab a Heavenly Sword, the bros up in Collie-rado never played it."

"I'll, um…" Benny starts. "Do… organ… organize. The… Princess?" 

"Alright, sounds like we have a plan, then." 

Their new dress up stuff gets put in a separate bag from Benrey's, which apparently contains secrets. Once they're out, Benrey gives Gordon a kiss and Benny a head pat before teleporting away. While they're gone, Benny keeps Gordon company as they walk, up until having to split to get to where they need to be. Gordon allows himself to give them a kiss on top of their head, relishing in the delighted look on Benny's face before they wave their goodbyes.

First, he hits up the toy store again to find a cute cat tail that can be clipped onto things. It's easy to find, netting him a cute black tail that'll match Benny's ears. It's a little short since it's meant for kids, but it's the thought that counts.

He's about to leave when he spots something in one of the aisles. Lego boxes have been ripped open, providing the materials for a collection of little houses displayed on a nearby table. The source of all this is easy to guess, especially with the color choices.

Is this what Benrey wants? A place for all of them to call home? Gordon wants this as well, although he'd prefer one big house to fit all of them. But who knows, maybe there'll be more skeletons like Benny, and… maybe even children, like they talked about earlier. More room would be needed then.

Gordon stares at the little houses for a long while, caught in fantasies of how their future might look before he manages to move on.

His next destination is into the art aisle for some supplies. He has no idea if any of the aliens will be artistically inclined, but since they both seem to like photography and music, it's a real possibility. If not, it'll make a good gift for Joshua. The thought of his son has Gordon add a plush horse and a set of plastic cowboys to the bag. Joshua had been on a wild west craze last he sew him, courtesy of the movie Rango. 

Finally, he hits up a generic makeup store. Gordon's aim is to get some more hair accessories since they're now three people with long curly hair. First, he tracks down the right brushes and combs, plus hair ties and cute hair clips. That's when he gets distracted by the makeup displays. It's been fun dressing more alternative lately, and Benrey clearly loves it. With that in mind, he grabs some eyeliner and dusty black eyeshadow, throwing in a black lipstick to top it all off.

After finding a backpack to stuff everything in, he heads back to find the aliens. It's easy to track them, the sound of their chatter and sweet voice melodies echoing throughout the halls. It's over by the food court that he finds them emptying out a vending machine, busy bickering about something. His heart gives a small jolt, so happy to see them despite having only been apart for about thirty minutes.

Walking up, he leans in to kiss Benrey before digging the packs of hair clips he'd gotten out of his bag, selecting a skull to clip into Benrey's hair. As they blink, surprised, and reach up to investigate, he turns to Benny, pinning a crescent moon clip into their hair as well.

"There," he announces, feeling quite pleased with himself. 

"You raid a Spirit Halloween or something?" Benrey teases, although they look very pleased with their gift. 

There's a glimmer in Benny's eyes as well, as they run their finger over the flat surface of the moon pin, their face turning a light shade of blue-violet. "Thank you," they say, voice small but pleased. 

There's only one more vending machine to raid, all full of drinks, from bottles of water to green tea and various kinds of soda. After it's been completely looted, Benny gives the others a shy smile before they vanish with all the loot, presumably to load it into the van.

"We gucci?" Benrey asks Gordon.

"Yeah. I got us, uh, some more hair stuff, brushes and hair ties and shit. Went and got some art supplies as well. Dunno if any of you like to draw but I thought you might wanna try it. That's all I think. We got the food we wanted to bring from the court, clothes, music stuff, toys. If we get anything more we might need to pick up a bigger truck and I kinda like our princess."

Benrey nods sagely, like Gordon has said something very wise. "Can, drive us. Go rest your sweet lil' ass in the back with Benny."

"Thanks, babe. I'll probably feel better after a hot shower."

Taking Benrey's hand, he walks them to the back exit. Gordon hasn't grown to love this place like he had the house, it's a mall after all. But he is going to miss having all this stuff right at the tip of his fingers. That, and the blanket fort. It was a really good blanket fort.

With one last glance behind him, they exit the mall, ready to face whatever lies ahead of them on the road to Denver.

Chapter Text

Arriving back at the van, Benrey finds the trunk doors already open, making it easy to see inside. All the new stuff Benny brought out is neatly organized in the backseat, taking up less space than Gordon would've expected. He can also see two guitar cases in the backseat, somehow fitting perfectly back-to-back. Benny's sitting in the trunk, folding their laundry into neat piles separated by what belongs to who. The outfit Benrey dressed them in as a skeleton has been separated into the "Benrey" pile.

Benrey gives an impressed whistle, removing the guitar they brought to set along the sides of the trunk, atop a neat pile of blankets, where Benny glances to it and apparently deems the placement inoffensive enough. Their neatness is a great boon, and clearly not inherited from Benrey, that much is for sure. They have the same "throw it into a pile" mentality as Gordon, unfortunately.

"What would we do without you, Benny?" Gordon says with a smile. Grabbing onto one of the doors, he starts to climb in, but gets a look from Benny which has him halting in his tracks to remove his shoes first. Climbing in at last, he flops onto the mattress, careful not to jostle the folded up piles of laundry. "We're gonna have to figure out a way to fit all three of us back here," he mumbles into the pillow beneath his head. 

The trunk could do with a permanent blanket fort, a perfect little nest for the nights when they can't find a better place to crash. It's a fantastic idea, if you ask him. Everyone would cuddle up close, keeping warm throughout the chilly spring nights.

Behind him, he hears Benrey close the door to the trunk, and after that their footsteps as they round the van and climb into the front seat. There's some rustling as they set down their messenger bag, which is instantly dragged into the trunk like some kind of itazura kitty coin bank so Benny can put Benrey's clothes away. After everything is organized to Benny's liking, and the van's pulled back out onto the road, they lay down beside Gordon.

"Is it, um—Is everything, did I do a good job? Wuh, with organizing?" they ask, giving him a cute look through their long, dark lashes. It's adorable that they even have to ask, like Gordon isn't looking at them with veritable hearts in his eyes over everything they do. 

"Yeah, you did really good."

Benny looks content upon hearing this, affectionately bumping their head against his shoulder.

"For real, though," he continues, "You saw how the van looked before. Without you, we'd have our stuff in piles, probably take up most of the trunk." A shiver passes through Benny, and Gordon laughs. "Sorry for putting that mental image in your head. It's all very nice and organized, thanks to you." 

The drive isn't terribly long, though the soothing movements of the vehicle nearly lull Gordon to sleep. When the engine switches off, he lifts his head, ready to jump up and grab his gun until he hears Benrey's voice from the front seat.

"Stay here, 'kay?" Benrey calls back. "Gonna check it out myself. Don't get weird without me. Okay byeeeee." 

He ignores their teasing and shouts out a "Be careful and don't make any more skeletons," before they clip out of the car. Looking down, Gordon finds Benny watching him with their big blue eyes. "What's up?"

"Oh. Um," Benny starts, looking away, then back down towards his lap. "I… I was wondering about… something."

"You wanna share it with the class?" Gordon asks with a smile.

Benny hesitates, their mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. Finally, they lower their gaze even further and say, "Um, no. Nevermind."

Frowning, Gordon thinks to press if only to satiate his curiosity. There's a lot no one knows about Benny, and he'd love to pick their brain sometime… but that's the scientist in him talking, so he should probably just let it go. Leaning back, he's confused when his back doesn't meet the pillows he expected, reminding him of what he brought back with him. "Oh, I just remembered. I got you something."

Sitting up despite Benny's hummed protests, he tugs off his backpack, first removing the toy tail. The faux fur is black, with a sparkly blue bow sewn onto the tip. It's not as good a quality as the ones at the sex shop, ironically enough, but it does have a clip to attach to a pair of pants. He places it on the mattress for Benny to investigate.

"You wanted a normal one, right?" Gordon says.

"Oh," they say, looking over the tail with interest. They run their hands through the fur, seemingly deeming it soft enough as they rub it on their cheek, a small smile gracing their lips. "Thank you."

"I also got you some stuff to draw with, if you're interested."

A sketch book, pencil case, a box of colored pencils, and a watercolor palette get placed down on the mattress. The art supplies put an awed look in their eyes, and they carefully set the tail aside to investigate them. The paints are picked up and sniffed at, a sour look coming over them before they politely set them back down. The pencils, they actually appear to understand, looking through the different colors with interest. Carefully opening the pack so nothing tears or gets bent, they pick out a shade of green, vibrant and deep, and hold it up to Gordon's face with a critical look.

"It's you," they say with a smile. It takes Gordon a moment to understand, if anything his assigned color has always been orange. When it finally clicks, a smile spreads across his face. 

"Oh, you mean like my eyes? Yeah, I guess they are around that color."

After neatly tucking the pencil back exactly where they found it, Benny pulls out more colors, humming their equivalent in sweet voice before putting them back, maintaining the order the pencils came in. As always, it's fascinating observing how they view the world. Connecting the pencils with sweet voice, with feelings, rather than something to produce art with.

Once they're done with that, they finally pick up the book, flipping through the pages with an increasing level of confusion. "Uhm… it's empty," they say, puzzled, before closing it and setting it back down just for Gordon to pick it back up with a soft chuckle. He removes a regular pencil from within the pencil case, opening up the book to the first page and beginning to draw. He's no artist, so he only makes three stick figures, all with curly hair. As he does so, Benny leans against his arm, watching him draw with an increasing level of confusion.

"Let me borrow the green, blue, and yellow, please."

After some consideration, Benny hands him the same green colored pencil as before, plus cyan and yellow, keeping their places in the box open. Now armed with some colors, Gordon starts by giving the tallest stick figure green eyes, the one on the left hooded yellow eyes, and finally, the one on the right large blue eyes. Curiously, Benny watches him draw, going from a confused frown to an awed realization once he's done.

"It's a sketchbook," Gordon explains, holding up the simple drawing for Benny to see properly. "You fill it out yourself. I kinda suck at art, so I won't be able to teach you like with the guitar, but you really don't need to know how to do it for it to be fun."

"It's us," they blurt, taking the book back from Gordon to rest in their lap. They stare down at the image while their hands are busy putting the pencils back where they go. "Oh. Art. Like PictoChat."

It takes Gordon a moment to even remember what PictoChat is. It wasn't a feature he ever used on the DS, but it doesn't surprise him that it's Benrey's, and by that extent, Benny's, only experience with art. 

"Yeah, like that," he confirms. "But analog."

"Ana… log?" Benny mumbles, bemused.

Grabbing a yellow pencil, Benny draws a basic sun in the upper right with some blocky sunrays, followed by green grass, purple flowers, and pink hearts surrounding the stick figures. As Benny adds details to his picture, Gordon watches with a soft smile on his face. Their fine motor skills are much better than a child's, but they seem to have the same drawing skills. Not that Gordon's much better. There's no logic to what makes good art, so he never really bothered with it.

Once they're done, they hold it up for Gordon to see. "It's a co-lab," they explain.

"Look at that," he marvels. "Good job, buddy. It's a really nice collab." He narrowly avoids asking if they should put it up on the fridge, just as he would everytime Joshua came to him with similar drawings. Benny seems very happy, though, pointing at the sun as if to further explain it. 

"You, um, it's like this, right? It's, um… you start—It always looks like this. And then…"

They put the book back down, flipping to the next page. Grabbing one of the regular pencils, they begin sketching, occasionally choosing some colored pencils to add on to the image. Gordon is both confused and curious as he watches them keep drawing, not prepared for them to take to the craft this quick. When they hold up the book next, his jaw drops.

"Like PictoChat," they say, pointing at the picture of Sunkist they've drawn and colored in, surrounded by green sweet voice with a red bow around his neck. While amateurish, it's leagues better than the previous picture, like someone who's been drawing for a few years with zero training. "Ben—Benrey drew dog, a dog all the time. This dog."

"That's Sunkist!" Gordon explains, taking the sketchbook from Benny's hands as he studies the drawing. It's really good, the lines clean and effortless even though the anatomy is a little wonky. "That's Tommy's dog. And technically Benrey's son. Sort of… it's complicated." With a sigh, he hands the book back and says, "Man, that's so unfair. I have to train for years to be good at something, while you guys either mimic it perfectly, or you have inherited memories."

With a slow nod, they look back down at their drawing, before picking up an orange colored pencil and writing Sunkist next to the drawing. "Fam'ly," they softly mutter to themself. For a moment it seems like they're about to say something more, their mouth opening before closing again. Instead they turn the page on the sketch block, revealing a new empty page. "Can I, um… can I draw more things?" 

"Of course you can," he says. "You can draw whatever you want." 

Benny perks up, picking out some colors before beginning to sketch out what looks like a cat. Settling back among the pillows, Gordon watches them with a soft smile on his face as they venture into the world of art.

- ♡ -

Stepping through the gym's employee entrance door leads Benrey into a break room, through which they can see a few personal belongings left here and there, the door they came in through all boarded up. There's a small kitchen they poke through out of curiosity, hoping for something to munch on or a soda to drink as they explore, but everything's completely empty. Boo. Lame, inconsiderate.

Continuing on, they exit out into the main gym, finding some bullsquids hanging around the area, feeding on dead headcrabs and some corpses. As Benrey draws near, they stop eating, sniffing the air before heading to parts of the gym much farther away to find other things to munch on. There's obvious signs of a fight having broken out all over the place, with bullet holes everywhere and a lot of furniture tipped over or otherwise destroyed.

Slinging their rifle over their shoulder, Benrey kneels to pick up a gun dropped by one of the corpses; they recognize it as the SMG model the soldiers at Black Mesa were using, prompting them to look at the disfigured corpse more closely. Urban camo pants, black boots.

"Huh," Benrey mutters to themself. The US Military was not eradicated, as it turns out. Looking around, they see the other corpses are dressed similarly. All the walls and windows are covered and boarded up from the inside, save for one window which appears to have been broken down by something. Benrey can't detect anything still living that could have done that, so they shrug it off.

Remembering Gordon's reaction to the corpses at the camp, they start picking bodies up and moving them outside, where they won't be visible to Gordon at any point. They have to wrap themself in their ichor to do so, not wanting their new clothes covered in old, gross blood or whatever else. The sight of them drives the bullsquids to seek escape, but Benrey fires their cute new SMG and takes each one out before they can get very far. These, Benrey has never tasted, but given they spit acid… hard pass on that.

Finally, Benrey checks out the bathrooms. Everything works just fine, and there's even more personal belongings strewn about here and there in the locker room. Among the loot is a strap for their new gun—nice—plus some spare mags and ammo to stuff into their backpack before they return to the break room. Of course, they gotta tear down the boards on the back door first, chucking them aside and kicking the stray nails under the counters before heading back to the van.

Opening the doors, Benrey finds Benny hunched over a book, pencil in hand while Gordon watches intently. It's a cute little scene, calm and quiet, unlike the chaos they just witnessed the aftermath of. So glad they weren't here for that, but are here for this. Way better.

"What up gamers," they announce, drawing Gordon's attention while Benny's focus stays on the book in their lap. "Done anything weird?"

"Benny's drawing," Gordon says, moving to sit up. "I picked up some art supplies."

Drawing, huh. Not as fun as video games, but they used to dick around in PictoChat all the time, expressing themself on the tiny little screen to the best of their ability. Not like Black Mesa would give them actual art supplies—they're a guard, what do they need a nerd clipboard for, anyway? Art, maybe. Maybe art.

"Dope." Climbing into the van, Benrey tries to peak over Benny's shoulder, just for them to whine and quickly close to book. "Boo, show me the goods. You drawin' furry porn in there? Woof woof what's your fursona—"

"Stooop," Benny whines, pushing at Benrey's face as they hunch protectively over the sketch block. "It's—It's not done yet!"

"Boo, whatever," Benrey concedes. "Gonna commish you. Draw me wider than I is tall with tits to match."

This only gets Benny more riled up and overprotective, but it's fine because Benrey already doesn't care anymore. They got Gordon to ogle, and boy is he fun to ogle. While he's crawling around grabbing some stuff, they get a nice fucking view of his ass in the black jeans they got for him all that time ago. Though, the show's over fast, as he finishes gathering up a towel, plus a change of clothes. Oh, right, the shower. That's why they're here.

"We good, campers?" they ask. "I checked, uh, shower's good. Just a lil' gory in the gym part. Moved the bodies away though, nbd."

"Yep, all good to go," Gordon says, his items tucked under his arm. Before he can crawl out, he turns to ask, "Benny, you wanna come with?" 

Benrey looks at them as well, watching the gears turn in their eyes before they shake their head. "Um, I… I'd rather, wanna draw some more. If, that's okay."

Strangely enough, them declining the invitation actually kinda sucks? All the teasing and play fighting is fun, and it'd be even better with water involved. Lots of splashing, wet towel fight. They'd chase Benny around, maybe push them up against a wall, and—

Or wait nevermind, this is fine, actually. Last time Benny was nearly naked around them, things got weird. While Benrey likes them a whole lot more than they did originally, they're not sure they want that kind of relationship with them. Gotta keep it in their pants this time.

While they're lost in thought, Gordon ends up being the one to actually answer Benny's question.

"Of course," he says, "Just stay in the van and teleport to us if anything happens." Turning to Benrey, he gives them a lopsided grin. "You're coming though, right?"

"Uh yeah duh," Benrey answers. "Get to see your whole ass and everything." They tilt their head to look over at Benny, adding on, "Where you'd put all the soaps?"

With the sketchbook still cradled to their chest, Benny points to the corner of the van. "Don't, um… please put everything back when you're done."

Pushing up into a video game crawl, Benrey starts going through the supplies stashed in the back seat, noclipping to reach items that are buried. Got some fun scents to choose from, their collection having grown since leaving the house. In the end, though, they fall back on their favorite: chocolate and cinnamon scented body wash and shampoo. 

"Les'go see the sun," Benrey says. "Warm fresh air. Stretch your long sexy legs."

Together, they hop out of the van. It's a little after noon now, and the New Mexico sun is pleasantly warm. Though, the air isn't exactly fresh when it smells like something died here. Probably because lots of things died here. Not to mention the gunpowder and burnt rubber. Overall, it's kind of a shithole, but at least it's warm and there's nothing trying to attack them.

After closing up the van, Benrey leads Gordon inside the gym, guiding him towards the locker room on the far end of the building. Along the way, they pass by the destruction of the gym equipment, bullet holes, partially eaten headcrab corpses and old blood stains, both human and alien. They try to be quick about it, but it's impossible for Gordon not to notice the destruction, growing visibly tense as he goes along. Thankfully, he doesn't ask about the bullet holes, nor any of the other obvious signs of combat. Talking about the military would be such a buzzkill right now.

Benrey power walks through that area, getting to the showers as quickly as possible—it's basically spotless in here, like nothing ever happened outside. Now, Gordon relaxes, his shoulders sagging as he slumps down onto one of the benches. Benrey scurries over, draping their arms over his shoulder and leaning their chin on top of his head. 

"All good, big guy?" they ask.

Gordon sighs. "Yeah, I—Yeah. I'd almost forgotten how bad—" He shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. Fuck that shit."

"Yeah," Benrey readily agrees. "Fuck that. And me. Fuck me, too, please?" 

That earns them a laugh, pride swelling in their chest. They're getting such a good score in boyfriend right now. Making sure the place isn't scary, cheering Gordon up when he starts to think about dark stuff. Might cash in for some good dicking down, or dicking Gordon down. Both good.

"We're here to make me less sticky, remember?" Gordon reminds them as he gets up to remove his clothes, prompting Benrey to step back and watch. It takes them a while to catch up with what he's saying, way too busy ogling his chest as he removes his shirt.

"Uhuh, yeah. Clean. Gonna clean you, bro. Squeaky rubber ducky smelling of… stuff." They lose their train of thought there at the end. Or rather, it rapidly moves onto another track when Gordon starts to remove his shoes and socks, revealing his feet for Benrey's hungry eyes. And what a sight they are, long and curvy in all the right places…

Following their gaze, Gordon wheezes another laugh, throwing one of his socks at them. This is a bad move if he thought it would make them less horny. Like a viper catching its prey, Benrey snatches the sock out of the air, lifting it up to their face for a goooood sniff. It's a joke, like haha, look what a sicko they are. Unless…

"Benrey, I swear to Christ, if you put that anywhere near your face I will shower alone." 

No unless. That's okay, they prefer the real deal anyway. 

"Whatever," they scoff, throwing the sock over their shoulder while quickly forming another arm behind their back to catch it and discreetly tuck it in their back pocket. "Didn't want your crusty cum sock anyway." 

This has Gordon doubling over and wheezing with laughter, giving Benrey an excellent view of the rolls on his stomach. "Don't call it—Get your clothes off, you fucking gremlin, or I'm showering without you."

That gets them going, noclipping out of their clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor. By the time Gordon has struggled out of his jeans, Benrey's already gathered up all their bath stuff, heading into the showers ahead of him.

"Ohhhh noooo I'm all alone in the shower," they declare. "Who's gonna save me from uhh… the nasty Count Showerhead. He's kinda hot though."

Laughing, Gordon calls back, "Don't slip and crack your head! The van's cramped enough as it is."

The showers are, unfortunately, not the open kind with several showers lined up in a row. Instead, it's a stalls setup, made for one person each. Each one looks like a tight squeeze for two people, prompting Benrey to actually hesitate. But as Gordon walks past them into one of the stalls, they decide it can't be bad enough to avoid getting soapy and wet in the shower with Gordon, right? He'll make it better for them, like a sexy, sexy nightlight.

Cramming in beside him, it proves to be pretty tight, and Benrey gets a panicked jolt as the stall door falls closed. Before they know it, they've stepped back, sticking the door to the stall next to it with a string of cyan sweet voice. That's fine. There's an exit, not enclosed, all fine.

Stepping back inside, Gordon gives them an odd look for a moment, before he appears to notice the tension in their eyes and all the blue they start filling the air with. Then, Benrey grabs the faucet and turns the heat way up, which leads to some bickering as they argue over the temperature of the water, effectively avoiding… all that. The temperature they end up with is cooler than Benrey would've liked, but still hot enough to form a cloud of steam. For a moment, they both just stand there, soaking in the warmth. It's no bath, but it's still nice, making Benrey energized and ready to get clean. 

It's not them that needs it, though, they're always clean. Picking up their chocolate and cinnamon scented body wash, they grin up at Gordon. "Gonna clean you up real good," they promise, squeezing a generous amount into their hand. "Don't gotta do a thing."

In the cold fluorescent light they can see how Gordon's eyes darken, his mouth going slack for a moment. "Oh… okay."

Benrey's under no delusion that their actions won't have sexy, sexy consequences. This fact neither stops them nor slows them down, thoroughly cleaning any grime from Gordon's body with their hands, leaving kisses in their wake while occasionally involving a sponge when their touches skew more towards actual, genuine cleaning. Because they do want to clean him, it's not just an excuse.

Gordon seems to like it, though, sighing and moaning softly when they brush over sensitive areas. They can feel the tension melt from his muscles as they carefully and methodically work him over. Eventually, he's slumped back against the wall of the stall, a blissful look on his face. 

Benrey uses that opportunity to kneel down in front of him, fully aware of the erection forming right in front of their face. But they feign ignorance to it, washing Gordon's thighs thoroughly before moving down farther and farther. Only once Benrey's washed just about everything innocent they can reach do they lift one of his feet and lick a big stripe up the sole. 

"Ahhhah… B-Benrey…!" Gordon gasps, his hands reaching out to brace against the stall walls. 

Arousal stirs in Benrey's core as they press his foot against their face, using both hands to lather it up with soap as if their face is just a surface to prop him up against. With a heated sigh, they turn their head to lap at the underside of his foot again, tasting mostly sweat as they clean him like a cat would. All pretenses are off, now. A quick, "nah, bro, you're imagining things" can't explain this away like all their prior groping.

Their thighs part wider, human-shaped cock hard between their legs. As their hands start to lather up the underside of his foot with soap, they suck his toes into their mouth, long tongue coiling and dipping between them. There's rust-tinted saliva on Gordon's toes when they pull their mouth off, which they swiftly clean with the soap, their fingers imitating the motions their tongue had just made, dipping and caressing, thoroughly. 

Once they're done, they carefully set his foot back down to start on the other, copying everything to a T. Their full attention is on this task, eyes dark and face flushed a deep blue-violet. By now, Gordon's rock hard, not that they're paying much attention to that. What they do notice is how his breath's grown labored, moans and whines tumbling out past his lips.

"Good…" Gordon manages between breaths. "That feels so—Mnnh… Benrey…"

Gordon's unexpectedly erotic reaction spurs them on, taking their time with his feet before moving on. Water cascades down his body, washing away the soap they've rubbed into his skin, cleaning all the grime accrued from the last day or so and making him smell pleasantly sweet. As such, Benrey doesn't hesitate to drag their tongue up his ankle, sucking at a spot near the bone before continuing upwards, kissing and lapping at his skin. Once they reach his thighs, they lavish the area with attention, biting and sucking bruises into his skin. Each one, they pause to kiss lovingly before moving on. It has the desired effect of drawing even more fun sounds out of Gordon.

"I—fuck. Benrey, please, man, you gotta… ah!"

Moving to the crook of his thigh, they finally take pity on him, rubbing their cheek against his cock with a shuddering sound. Cradling him to their palm, they nuzzle his cock, turning to press a kiss to the shaft before curling their tongue around him and licking him from base to tip, repeating the motion several more times while letting out shuddering, shallow breaths and groans.

Eventually, they take the head into their mouth and suck, hands on his thighs keeping him held down despite his attempts to push deeper inside. Eagerly, they lap at it with their tongue, relishing in the taste of his pre. It's not exactly tasty, but it's Gordon, and that turns them on immensely.

"You're such a fucking thhh—tease…"

Taking pity on him, Benrey pulls back, just to wrap their lips around him again and take him all the way to the hilt in one well-practiced move, tucking him into their throat where they can kiss his pelvis. This draws the loudest sound out of him, his moan reverberating through their body and making their cock throb. Not needing to breathe and having no gag reflex means Benrey can hold that pose for a long time, and they do, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of having their mouth full, with Gordon specifically. They stare up at him as they do, watching him pant, his head tipped back against the wall.

Once they'd had their fill, they get going, hollowing out their cheeks and bobbing their head with loud, wet noises and groans that vibrate against his cock. Their long, inhuman tongue wraps around him, creating an even tighter space for him to fuck. All the while, their saliva rubs traces of rust sweet voice into his skin, keeping him nice and hard, as if he'd have any trouble with that now.

There's something almost therapeutic about sucking cock, Benrey thinks. Listening to Gordon's voice in the throes of passion, feeling his thighs twitch under their hands, knowing they're giving him pleasure, making him feel good. Incredible, even—they know their own skill and they can tell Gordon does too with the way he's groaning the moment they let his hips go, letting him fuck wildly into their mouth. They love the taste of him and how his cock feels on their tongue and in their throat. Love him.

They especially love feeling him throb and twitch as he gets close, hips thrusting towards them so they can take him in full as he spills down their throat. They drink it all down greedily, milking him of every last drop before pulling off to rest their head against his thigh.

Staring up through their lashes, they take in his flushed and dizzy expression. The sight has affection warming their chest and arousal shooting right down to their neglected cock, hanging heavy between their legs. Only once Gordon's satisfied do they care to give it any attention, but even now, they don't really know what they want.

Though, as they think that, they realize they know exactly what they want—but they're not sure if they can ask for something like that now. It's a step up from being sucked off and they'd prefer not to overwhelm Gordon with their overactive libido. No, they'll take whatever they can get, pursue that fantasy at a later time.

For now, they wait until they're sure Gordon's feeling less sensitive to clean the orange saliva from his cock and where it had dripped down to his balls, doing so in a more strictly clinical way, clearly not trying for anything but getting him clean. Once they're done, they push back up to their feet, licking their lips and leaning in for a kiss. He melts right into it, uncaring that he can taste himself on their tongue, apparently. Kinda hot.

"You okay?" they ask once the kiss is broken. They're still hard as fuck, but if Gordon's too tuckered out to continue, they don't mind stoping here. 

"Feel good…" comes the murmured answer against Benrey's lips, his hands roaming up their torso, cupping their neck and the mark there. His touch sends a shiver down Benrey's spine, their cock twitching in response. "Wanna make you feel good too. What do you want?"

"Uhhh…" they start, distracted by the hand laid possessively over the bite mark on their nape, and how much it makes them want to turn around and present themself. That's… a good idea, but not what they had in mind. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask…

Running their tongue across their teeth, Benrey says, "Can you… wash me too? All over… " They keep looking over at Gordon as they say that, watching his expression change from surprised to flustered. "My turn, maybe."

They've done something similar in the past—washing with a group of guards, messing around getting each other riled up. Very often, Benrey would be the one who was whipping everyone with wet towels and commenting on dick size and generally trying to get something to happen, and with the way things tended to work among a bunch of sexually repressed men with huge egos and something to prove, things would definitely happen. Benrey's been crowded in the showers before, pushed into the tile and pleasured by multiple different men, though usually not all at once, unfortunately.

But that was all pretty rough. Acts of dominance. Aggressive, grabbing and pulling and shoving things in places. What Benrey wants right now is something tender. Soft hands all over their body, lathering them up like they'd done for Gordon. Their body doesn't need to be cleaned like his does, but they want to be taken care of as if it does. And maybe pushed into the wall and taken like a bitch in heat, but also while they're being rubbed so tenderly all over their body, with soft and sweet smelling soaps.

- ♡ -

Benrey's suggestion is perfect. Now, he gets to touch Beney all over, letting instinct and muscle memory do the work instead of the happy, mushy thing that is his brain right now.

"Yeah, yeah," he says, his breath ghosting over their lips. "Of course, babe. Let's get you squeaky clean."

Cleaning isn't really the point here, though. Gordon suspects Benrey doesn't even need to wash themself. They never sweat, their hair doesn't get greasy, and even stains disappear if left long enough. No, this isn't about cleaning, it's about touching, caressing, making Benrey feel good and loved. And their body is so nice to touch, muscular and firm, powerful, yet so smooth and soft.

Gordon braces himself against Benrey's shoulders, his legs wobbly, but stable. Squirting some of the body wash into his hands, he glides his hands over their neck in slow, circular motions, rubbing and lathering up their shoulders, down towards their chest. They lean back against the opposite wall as he works, thumbs circling their nipples and forming them into hard little nubs as they begin to breathe a bit heavier. When his hands reach their belly button, Gordon swirls a finger inside it, relishing in every sigh and moan that falls from Benrey's lips. Only once they've reached a certain pitch does he move on.

Benrey's not the only one who knows how to play a body. Gordon's kept track of things, memorized all the places that draw out the prettiest sounds, where their hands wander when they touch themself. This is what draws his attention to their thighs, lowering down to his knees to lavish them with some extra attention, even if his body complains at the act. The slight ache in his knees is worth it to see the look on Benrey's face. Their eyes are hooded and dark, and tongue rust-orange behind a sharp set of teeth. As he starts to work their thighs, their breath hitch before their moaning starts up again. 

"Thank youuu… hhhhh… ahhhhh…"

Though Benrey's very erect cock bobs tantalizingly before his face, Gordon skips right past it, a small revenge for how they washed him earlier. Instead, he focuses on their thighs, lathering up the sensitive skin on the inside and grazing their balls with his fingers, delighting in the way they twitch forwards at the touch. Their lashes are fluttering, eyes miles away as they allow themself to enjoy the sensation.

Until Gordon skips right down to their feet, wrapping a big hand around their ankle before looking back up. "Don't fall," he tells them.

"Whuh…"

Lifting their foot up to his face, Benrey slides down the wall half an inch before catching themself, eyes going wide. They've officially landed from their little trance, now watching him with something nearing shock as he presses a kiss to the top of their foot. The act draws a soft gasp out of them. Following that, he presses two thumbs into the arch, slowly massaging the sensitive skin there.

"Ohhh, fuck…" Benrey groans. "Whoa. Uh?"

Hooded eyes hiding pupils so dark they eclipse almost all of the glowing yellow stare down at him. From their open mouth he catches a peak of a shifting pink and rust tongue, sweet voice dripping down their chin. Their deep blue blush reaches all the way down their chest, where their nipples are still hard and perky from the attention Gordon's given them.

He takes a moment to drink it all in, letting his eyes roam and take in every little detail, from the way their hair clings to their face to how their cock twitches and drools a pale blue pre. As much as he wants to lap it up, he resists the urge. From the look of things, Benrey's right there on the edge, and he suspects even the gentlest of touches will send them over.

His hands continue working on Benrey's foot, massaging the underside and using his fingers to clean between their toes. Every little press of his thumbs is another moan, Benrey's breaths loud and shallow as he works. Extra attention is paid to the sensitive skin around their ankles that makes them shiver every time, grazing his fingertips feather light around there. Once one foot's cleaned, he gives it a gentle kiss before lowering it down to the floor and picking up the other one, giving it the same treatment as its twin. By the time he's done, Benrey's nearly melted into a puddle, looking as blissed out as if he'd actually made them cum.

"Benrey," he says, just loud enough to be heard over the water and no more. "You wanna fuck me?"

"Yea—Yes," Benrey struggles to get out, catching their breath with the lull in activity. "Yuh, Your—thighs, please… fuck your thighs…? Wuhhh, wanna, put my dick between 'em, please?"

While not what Gordon expected, it's not something he's against. The way Benrey's looking at him now, he couldn't possibly deny them anything. 

"Since you asked so nicely," he breathlessly teases, carefully heaving himself to his feet again, with Benrey's help. They hoist him up like it's nothing, giving him this little lurch in his gut. Being so close to their dazed expression now makes him want to do everything to them and more. But for now, that means turning and presenting himself to them. 

Or, at least, it would be easiest if Gordon turned and braced himself against the shower wall, but that would mean no longer getting to see the look in their eyes, and that feels like a crime. It's addicting, knowing just how much they want him, want every part of him, even something as mundane as his feet or thighs. More than anything, he wants to see more, to see how they fall apart from fucking only his thighs.

With Benrey leaned back against the wall, Gordon towers over them, his hand resting on the tiles besides their head, the other reaching down to lazily stroke their cock. Seeing him there draws a deep, throaty moan and a shiver out of them.

"This what you wanted?" he asks, guiding the tip of their cock to where he's pressed his thighs together. "You thought about it a lot?"

Golden eyes dark as night stare downwards, barely blinking as their tip is pushed between the wet and silky skin of Gordon's thighs. "Hahhh—Uhhh…" Pressing his things even tighter, he watches a full body shudder wrack their body, accompanied by a wobbly whine. "Nnnh…" Their head falls forward against his chest, drool dripping down their bottom lip as their mouth hangs open, moaning like a cheap whore. "More, please…?"

"Go right ahead," Gordon encourages, using his now free hand to grab Benrey's ass and yank them closer, a moan ripping out of them as they slide fully between his thighs. "I'm all yours."

That snaps Benrey out of their daze, both hands flying down to grip Gordon's ass for support, pulling their hips back and thrusting them forward with a shudder. "Ffffuuuhhh—Uhhh—"

It's an odd feeling, having something press between his thighs like that, but not unpleasant. The more Benrey does it, moving faster and moaning louder, the better it feels. Heat starts to pool in his gut just knowing what they're up to, taking their pleasure from his body like this. While they're a fair bit shorter than him, Benrey's cock is still big enough to brush his balls in a way that sends sparks of pleasure up his spine. 

Soon Benrey's completely lost in the sauce, fucking his thighs with a reckless abandon and drooling sweet voice all over his chest. "Uhhh… s'good, so gghhhh—uhhhh—Gordon, Gordon…" Their brows knit together as he presses his tights tighter, lashes fluttering as their cock throbs, nearly sending them over the edge. Their hips still, their heavy, panting breaths filling the air, chest swelling into his. "Oh, godhhh—I canhh… k-kiss me, please? Please?"

When they beg so sweetly like that, Gordon can't help but oblige, surging forward to capture their lips and licks into their mouth, swallowing down each moan and sigh. The taste of orange floods over his tongue, fattening out his cock until it's painfully hard where it's pressed between their bodies.