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The beginning wasn’t when Sapnap got a girlfriend. It was much, much earlier.
The beginning, you see, was in 5th grade, when Karl saw him on the swings. It was when they got paired up for a science project a week later, and when he slept over at Sapnap’s for the first time.
The beginning had been in the works for a long, long time. But now, the beginning had passed, and it was time for the climax.
Freshman year certainly was a breeze for Karl. Not only was high school straightforward and freeing, but it was quick . Before he knew it, he was plummeting straight into junior year. But it didn’t exactly come without its issues.
That summer was heaven, at least in his eyes. It was a glimpse into his very own slice of life, his expectations for the years to pass. Karl finally had gotten his license, so he was actually able to do shit with his friends.
(And by friends, he meant Sapnap.)
To be fair, Karl had other people, too. A lot of other people, actually, but not many that he hung out with on a regular basis. And Sapnap was just…different. He didn’t know why, or anything, but it felt like he was the only person in the world who Karl could be around for literally forever. Sure, it sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true.
Anyways, everything was perfect. Especially the late-night drives.
It was quiet and cold that night. Well, it was quiet and cold if you removed the two of them. They created a symphony of sound and warmth in the quaintness of Karl’s car, belting out the lyrics to any song that the shuffle button threw at them. It was good. It was…perfect.
A new song began, much softer and slower than the previous. If he listened closely enough, he could hear Sapnap still humming along.
Karl took his eyes off of the road, just for a split second, and he wished he could never look back. Sapnap, eyes closed and neck extended, was the most beautiful person he had ever encountered. He clicked in just right in his mind, perfectly tailored to his life.
There would never be anything like this ever again, he was sure of it.
That was until Alison Wyant came along.
To her credit, Alison was beautiful. And smart, and kind. And perfect. She had long, dark hair that reached mid-back, and she would tie it up with a yellow claw clip. She had those coffin-shaped nails, delicately painted with flowers. Her eyes were a dark, dark brown, almost black.
And, most importantly, she had 4th period chemistry with his best friend.
“Karl!” Speak of the devil.
“Hey, Sap,” he said, not bothering to look up. He could recognize that voice anywhere.
“Bro, why didn’t you wait for us? We could’ve walked together to lunch,” he said, scooting in next to Karl at the lunch table.
Keyword: Us.
He finally looked up, and of course, there she was. Alison (or “Ali,” bleh) was attached to Sapnap at practically every moment, so his eyes searched for the point of contact. He honed in on the hand around her waist, running up and down ever so slightly. Ew. He looked away.
Karl shook his head. “Sorry, man. Forgot.” It was a lousy excuse, but whatever.
If Sapnap noticed, he didn’t seem to care. “Nah, it’s chill.”
He doesn’t really know why he even bothers. Every day’s the same with these two, utterly disgusted at the abundance of affection and attempts to include him in their conversations. What was the point of sitting here? He never thought he’d say it, but he’d rather be sitting with Dream and George right now. Which, in theory, seems abundantly worse, which is why he hadn’t chosen to sit with them beforehand. But he’ll take anything, literally anything, over this.
As he tried not to stare too obviously at the couple, he thought back to the day Sapnap told him about her. It was probably around 2 weeks into the school year, and all was well. As planned. But then it turned to shit.
Like, deep shit.
“Dude, I saw the hottest chick today. She was legit perfect,” Sapnap emphasized, tapping on the steering wheel as he did so.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really.”
-
“Karl, bro, I got her number!”
“Damn. W.”
-
“We’re going out Saturday. I’m so fucking excited, you have no idea.”
“Huh. Have fun.”
And so on, and so on. Terrible, terrible shit. The type of heart-wrenching shit that only gets to you when you’re on top of the world, then pulls the rug out from underneath you when you least expect it.
He wasn’t jealous, though.
Well. Technically , what he was feeling was certainly akin to jealousy, but it wasn’t like that. He just missed his best friend so, so much, and some random ass girl had taken him away.
He didn’t talk for the rest of lunch, and neither of them noticed.
“Dude, what’s gotten into you?” Sapnap sighed, twisting his keys and parking in Karl’s driveway. “You’ve been acting so weird lately.”
Karl scoffed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Woah, woah, no need to get defensive.” He raised his hands from the steering wheel. “I was just asking if something was going on.”
“You know, if anyone’s been acting different, it’s you,” Karl huffed.
Sapnap slowly turned towards him. “What the hell? What do you fucking mean I’ve been acting different?”
“You have been, asshole. Ever since you got a girlfriend, you seem to not have enough time for anyone who cares about you anymore!” His eyes widened slightly as he realized what he had finally said, but he meant every word of it. He was so, so tired of being second best.
“You’re insane,” Sapnap said quietly, not meeting his eyes. “You’re insane and a needy bitch if you expect me to devote absolutely all of my time to you. If you’re so jealous, get more fucking friends! It’s like you’re in love with me.”
It’s like you’re in love with me.
Karl sank far, down, and wide into the depths of that car. His mind ricocheted in a thousand different directions, memories resurfacing from unresolved pits. Pits that were supposed to stay unresolved. Times that he swore he would never relive again. Hot, burning shame flooded his peripherals and spilled out in liquid salt. It all came back to him then, no matter how much he tried to stop it.
“I fucking hate you,” he said, and then he left the car.
That summer was something of dreams, really, but especially a scorching day in July. It was too hot to do much of anything but stay inside, so Karl and Sapnap sat idly in the latter’s room, staring into the large TV screen.
Weirdly enough, they were watching wrestling. Karl had tried to get into wrestling as a kid, but he’d ultimately failed. His dad was slightly disappointed, as he himself was once a wrestler, but soon got over it as his son picked up soccer the year after.
He looked over at Sapnap. He wore a focused face, pinched up in minute frustration. His socks lay rolled up at the corner of the bed, alongside an old Memphis Grizzlies hat. A few thin, articulate bracelets lined his left hand, the other arm swung across his forehead. He wore dark blue basketball shorts that cut off just above the knee and the middle school’s gym uniform shirt. Go Wolves!
Karl tried to focus on the TV, but he found he always had issues with watching wrestling. There was no excitement to it like boxing, no packed punches or violence. It was just weird touches, quick and fleeting. God awful and awkward movements, inadvertently sexual grabs. He wasn’t sure if he was just looking at it in the wrong way, but no matter how much he watched it, it remained gross.
Sapnap seemed to be into it, though.
Not like that. He just seemed invested. Blue Suit Guy grabbed Red Suit Guy’s waist, got on top of him, etc. He was overly discomforted at that point.
So, he looked out the window. It was around 8 pm, and the sun began to dull out. Sapnap had a lamp on in the room, but it was not particularly bright, creating a subdued atmosphere. Karl picked at the skin running along his fingernails, wondering if he should sleep over.
As he opened his mouth to ask, however, Sapnap looked at him and said, “Do you not wanna watch this?”
Karl closed his mouth. “Oh, um. I don’t really care,” he murmured. “I’ll watch anything you wanna watch.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t been looking at the screen for more than 10 seconds at a time since I put this on,” Sapnap yawned, crossing his feet and exposing his, frankly, nasty toes.
“You need to clip your toenails, dude.”
“Bro, whatever. But seriously, do you wanna turn this off? I’ll put on Bojack or something.”
“It’s just-” he wavered, “it’s just I don’t really get wrestling.”
Sapnap looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean you don’t get it?”
“Well- you know what, never mind.”
“No, no, no, you gotta tell me now.” A small smirk crossed his face. “You’ve got me hooked.”
“I don’t get how those dudes don’t get a boner doing that,” he blurted, then rushed to explain himself as he saw Sapnap’s face. “Like- no, not like that, well yes like that, but like, not just because it’s a dude- no, not because it’s a dude at all, it’s just the principle of it, like its someone feeling you up and all that- no, stop laughing. Please, please say you get what I’m saying.”
God, why did he say that?
Sapnap returned from his giggling fit after an absurd amount of time, then looked Karl right in the eye. Then, without a trace of hysteria or facetiousness, he said, “Wanna wrestle?”
“W-what?” Karl flushed at the heavy implication. There was no way Sapnap meant for it to sound like that.
“Well…yeah. If I show you how, maybe you won’t think it’s weird anymore,” he said, staring blankly.
“Uh, okay.”
Sapnap grinned and sat up on his knees. He explained to Karl what he was going to do as he did it, grabbing his shoulders and waist fleetingly. Karl kept his mind clear of any unruly thoughts. “Then, I would get on your back, and try to beat the fuck outta you,” he joked. “But I won’t.”
“Yeah, because you know I’d win,” Karl smirked.
Sapnap gaped at him. “No fucking way, dude. We both know I’d win.”
“Totally.”
And then they collapsed onto the bed, rolling around and performing their loose interpretation of wrestling. Sapnap had his fair share of experience from the middle school team, so it wasn’t long before Karl struck the mattress with his palm in defeat.
“No, I quit, it’s over, you win,” he huffed out, encapsulated by his friend from above. “No no no, get off, I said you win, asshole!” He flipped his body to display the exasperation strewn across his face. “Seriously-”
Oh. Sapnap was very close to him. His arms closed off both sides of Karl’s body and stayed there as he breathed heavily, recovering from their match. This looked like something very, very different in Karl’s brain, something unattainable, yet so desperately needed. He could see every detail of his friend’s face from this distance, their noses barely grazing together. Karl could practically count each one of Sapnap’s delicate eyelashes, or the thin hair strokes of his eyebrows, or even the faint freckles scattered across his cheeks like a smooth layer of sunscreen.
Ok, he should stop. It was wrong to think about his friend like that, especially when they were in such an intimate and vulnerable situation. It was wrong to twist the situation into something that it wasn’t, it was wrong to pretend it was right.
Yet neither of them moved. Sapnap’s eyelashes stayed unblinking, his arms still locked in place. His expression was frozen so effectively that Karl felt like he had lept out of his body and hit the pause button.
Even if it was wrong in every other circumstance, it was right in this one.
Sapnap's body leaned heavily into Karl’s. He inched closer, so, so precariously, until all of a sudden they were kissing, and his skin was burning red hot, and those arms that had trapped him before were on his waist, and they held down. Hard. It was all so fast that Karl could hardly remember how they went from wrestling to making out.
But they did. And they did it again, and again, and again. And they went about their summer living inside of each other’s houses, and thoughts, and mouths. And Karl never looked back, and he wished he never did.
But he did look back, and he ended up a heartbroken mess over it.
If there was one thing Karl hated, it was government class. Correction: if there was one specific thing that Karl hated in this moment, it was his 100-point government test that was about to make or break his grade in the class.
He thought it was so stupid to make the last grade of the quarter matter the most. Especially since the class was a complete throwaway, filled with cheating honors students and a single lecture per week (that no one bothered to take notes on). It was a disappointment at the least, and Karl knew next to nothing about what he was being graded on.
He was just praying for the best, whatever that would turn out like. At least the test was online, so he could “borrow answers” from Google. The teacher wouldn’t blink twice.
About halfway through, he started worrying. Would he even finish this? Probably not, and then his GPA would be ruined, and then his life would be over and-
His phone vibrated. Naturally, Karl checked it when the teacher wasn’t looking.
sap
Attachment: 5 Images
The answers! Holy shit, the answers! He was so happy that he could kiss Sapnap.
Wait. Fuck. He would not kiss Sapnap. Been there, done that. Why was he sending the answers to Karl, anyways? After their argument, they hadn’t spoken at all. It had been 2 days, which was considerably a long time for Karl. In the complete history of their friendship, they had never fought like this.
Before getting back to the test, he picked his phone up and replied to the message.
karl
im still mad at you
Lunch had been wretched. Somehow, sitting with Dream and George was more emotionally excruciating than sitting with Sapnap and Alison. Of course, they were Karl’s friends, but they were still too in love for his liking. He enjoyed sitting outside, though, with the mild brushes of wind and faint chirps of nearby robins.
“You never even told us what happened with you and Sap,” Dream prodded.
George nodded in agreement, but then the wind blew his napkin into a puddle. “Aw, shit.” Maybe sitting outside wasn’t so nice for him.
“It doesn’t even matter what happened, we’re just fighting right now,” Karl replied.
George snorted (and disregarded the flyaway napkin). “Oh no, baby boy and his husband are separating.”
Karl knew it was a joke, but he didn’t fucking care anymore. Neither of them knew a thing about him and Sapnap’s relationship, yet he still found himself standing up and walking away.
Maybe he was overreacting. But maybe life wasn’t fucking fair to him right now, and he deserved to be a little angry about it.
The bathrooms were never a pleasant place to stall time in, but it was his only option. He had a theory that public schools had collectively decided to put the least amount of funding into the bathrooms so students would spend minimal time inside. It seemed that this tactic never worked, though, as he took in his surroundings. Boys were overflowing the room in pacts of 2 or 3, with pairs of multiples stuck into a stall. It was certainly overwhelming, and extra-certainly disgusting. He walked out without hesitation.
With nowhere else to go, he found an empty section of the hallway and sat down. He was sick of having miserable lunches, but he would much rather stay outside the cafeteria than humiliate himself and walk back in. He stuck his headphones in, just for a few minutes, and closed his eyes.
Just another year after this. Just one more year, and I’m free.
“Karl?”
He pulled out his headphones and looked up. A tall blond and a short brunette were walking toward him from a distance, and guilt wracked him as he realized how inconsiderate he had been. His friends didn’t mean any harm, and he just left them without warning.
“Guys, listen, I’m sor-”
“No worries, man.” Dream lent him a hand to help him up, and George looked at him understandingly. “You wanna talk?”
“Ugh. Well…”
Karl’s summer of dreams was, sometimes, short of perfect.
“Oh,” he muttered. “Oh, my god.”
Sapnap leaned back in, tightening his grip on Karl’s waist. Late July brought them warmth, and early August had brought more. The turn of the month had also seemed to turn Sapnap’s mood into one much more…active.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Rough hands slipped dangerously lower. “So, so perfect.” Split lips dripped with lust, words coated in their preeminent grip. “You make me feel so fucking amazing.”
“Sap, I-” he was promptly cut off by a finger pressed to his mouth. Karl grinned minutely. “Aw, you’re cute-”
“Shut the fuck up,” Sapnap growled. Oh. “Someone just came home.”
Oh. Fuck, oh no. Karl panicked. “Did the garage door come up? I’m so sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”
“Whatever, just fucking- act normal! They don’t know you’re here right now.”
“Why’s it so bad if I’m here?”
“It just- it just is. Stop being so fucking weird.” Sapnap rose to his feet, looked in the mirror, smoothed out his hair. “And calm down.” He ran his hands over the wrinkles on his shirt, grabbed his summer reading book, threw it on the bed. Flipped to where his bookmark temporarily resided, page 205. The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde.
“Sapnap?” A voice called from downstairs. “Sapnap, I’m home!”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered, then shouted out, “I’m here!”
“It’s okay, calm down. It’s not that big of a deal-” Karl started.
“Yeah, it’s a fucking big deal, so just shut up for a minute,” he snapped.
Karl sank a bit into himself then, so he grabbed the book and pretended to read. At first, he was actually trying to read as a distraction, but soon the pages turned to jumble, and the jumble turned to pages filled with shut up’s over, and over, and over again.
The door creaked open. A tall man with a graying beard filed in, adorned with a Kansas City Chiefs t-shirt. “Oh, hey Karl.” He nodded minutely. “You boys want any snacks? I just came back from the supermarket.”
Sapnap glanced at Karl, eyes darting frantically. “No.”
“Uh, alright. Have a good one.” He shut the door, and Sapnap sighed in relief.
Karl looked down at the book again. He was kind of hungry, but whatever.
When Sapnap didn’t say anything else, he decided to break the silence. “That was fine. Literally nothing happened, Sap.”
“Karl, I think you should go.”
The words were spat out like cyanide.
“What? Why?”
Sapnap glared at him as he put the book back on the shelf. “Just- that was a close call. I’d rather recover in peace.”
“Um. Okay, I guess.”
Why are you so scared of being with me? Why are you ashamed?
“Bye.”
He smiled at Sapnap’s dad on his way out.
Dream sat with his legs crossed on Karl’s bed, mouth ajar. “Wait. So you’re telling me that Sapnap -”
“- Our Sapnap,” George interjected, tracing a digit over the seams of a pillow absentmindedly.
“Yes, our Sapnap.” He rolled his eyes. “He did all of that, and then proceeded to get a girlfriend and neglect any form of acknowledgment for your guys’ past?”
Karl sighed. “Pretty much.”
“This is really bad,” George murmured. “You literally had to have us over to your house to give the entire timeline.”
“I thought the last 10 minutes of lunch wouldn’t be enough,” he shrugged.
Dream stood up, suddenly filled with inexplicable purpose. “I’ll get his ass for you, Karl, just you wait.”
“No!” Karl jumped up. “I mean, as much as I’d love for you to do that, you shouldn’t. He’s your best friend, and if he found out I told you, he would probably never speak to me again.”
George rolled his eyes. “He deserves it, though. I wish there was a way we could fix this.”
“It feels like I’ve already tried everything,” he groaned. “I’ve befriended Alison, I’ve dropped hints, I’ve given dirty looks. Nothing has worked.”
Karl put his head in his hands, unable to articulate his frustration. When he looked at George, he saw a similar feeling residing in a pinched face. Would he have to ride out the pain, just to watch it peak and eventually fall? Would it even fall, or would it leave him forever stuck in a shattering cycle of hurt?
Then he turned to Dream, who was not expressing the uneasy look that he expected to see. Dream had seemingly not given up; instead, he was deep in thought. Karl imagined that inside Dream’s skull, gears were grinding and twisting and turning, producing an electrical current powerful enough to turn his dim lightbulb bright. A wide smirk crossed his face before he pitched his master plan.
“Have you tried jealousy?”
Karl was not the type of guy who got with a lot of girls.
Sure, he was cute, but he was shy and unapproachable at times. He had a total of 1 ½ girlfriends before, neither of which he counted due to their… existence in middle school.
So, Karl’s nerves did not come as a surprise when he was forced to carry out Dream’s and George’s idea. They had perfected it in the comfort of Karl’s home, drawn out diagrams, and reviewed it multiple times with him.
Their unfortunate plan roped in an unfortunate suspect: Caroline Landcaster, best friend of Alison.
Caroline was redheaded, pretty, and notoriously scary. She had rejected almost every guy that asked her out, but no, his friends insisted, it has to be her. Her close connection to Alison was required, apparently.
He was prompted to get close to Caroline (impossible) and bring her to Dream’s big Halloween party without telling Sapnap about it (more impossible).
Caroline didn’t sit with Alison at lunch, which he already knew, but George had been the one to tell him she ate in the library.
“I think she’s a library assistant or something,” he had explained. “Once, when I was skipping, I saw her in there. I heard she has a lot of free periods or something.”
Indeed she did , Karl thought, as he saw her reading in the library during his bathroom break in 5th period. He really needed this to be foolproof, so there was no harm in doing some research beforehand.
This research included a reason to enter the library, too, so he found himself checking out a book a week before he planned his “arrival.” No matter how tedious the process was, Dream and George reassured him that all of the extensive planning was necessary.
It was worth a shot, he supposed. But if this stupid plan didn’t work, then he didn’t know what would.
Taylor was right, Karl thought. August slipped away into a moment of time.
“Sap, do you love Taylor Swift?” he asked, half-asleep. That night had been reckless abandon, filled with countless shots of vodka and red hot touches. Now, at 4am, the two boys lay splayed across Karl’s Star Wars bedsheets. Romantic.
“What… what kind of question is that?” Sapnap yawned mid-sentence. “I do not listen to Taylor Swift.”
“Neither do I, really. But isn’t she just… a perfect woman?” Karl threw his hands up in the air, flailing them around. “Like, if I met Taylor Swift, I would kiss her on the lips.”
“Your type is seriously Taylor Swift? Since when?”
“Since forever,” he sighed happily. “But she’s not my type. She’s just the epitome of lovely.”
Sapnap chuckled, turning towards Karl in the darkness. But when it got too stagnant, he found unexpected words flowing into the air. “Then what is your type?”
Karl could’ve answered this question in a multitude of ways, really. But for some reason, his oh-so intoxicated brain decided to respond with, “You.”
Sapnap went quiet. Obviously.
But, of course, Karl didn’t register this and continued. “I mean, you’re my best friend, for one. You have the most amazing personality of anyone on this goddamned Earth. You’re funny as hell and always so sweet and genuine.” He ran his fingers through his hair absentmindedly, chuckling a bit in anticipation of his next words. “And don’t even get me started on how you look. You’re so hot, Sap. Always have thought that. Like, smash-any-day-of-the-week type of hot.”
“I do smash any day of the week,” Sapnap mumbled.
“Exactly. Because I fucking love you,” he groaned, the alcohol obliterating his filter. “I love you more than anything, and I can’t help it. Do you really expect me to look at you, right in your fucking eyes, and not crumble? Because it’s impossible. I’ve tried.”
“Karl-”
“No, really, do you know how much power you have over me? Do you even know for how long? Because this is not new news, Sap. This has been forever, and it will be. Even when you fucking kick me out of your house because you’re scared of what we are.” Karl finally looked him directly in the eyes, and he felt the inevitable crumble. “But I know myself, and I’ll always forgive you. And maybe I’m so fucking wasted that I can’t even think straight, and maybe we’ll never talk about this again, but you better know that I mean every fucking word.”
Sapnap’s eyes were glazed over, a film of wetness encapsulated inside. He gazed at Karl extensively, analyzing his words, then leaned in and delicately pecked his lips.
It was the most memorable kiss that they had ever shared. It said I love you too, Karl, in a way that Sapnap couldn’t articulate.
“Don’t forget in the morning, please, please don’t forget about all of this,” Karl sobbed, leaning into his shoulder. “Don’t do it.”
Karl fell asleep crumbling into Sapnap’s arms and woke up wiped clean of the night before.
“Guys, this plan is fucking stupid,” Karl reiterated. The more he thought about it, the worst it got. “Caroline doesn’t even know me. Who says she’ll come with me to some dipshit party?”
Dream frowned. “It’s not a dipshit party, you bitch.”
“Sorry.” He rolled his eyes. “But Sapnap still doesn’t know how I feel about him. We’re technically still in a fight, too. What if this whole thing is a bust, and I should just get over it? What if it’s pointless in the end? What if-”
“Karl. Stop. It’s worth it, I promise. And if it doesn’t work, then we can at least say we tried,” George comforted, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder. “Now go get your fake girlfriend.”
“Ok, fine. I’ll meet you guys after.” He waved fleetingly and booked it to the library, where he was greeted by a head full of ginger locks in the doorway.
Oh god, here he goes.
“Um, Caroline?” He winced ever so slightly.
She turned, exposing a pale face with owlish green eyes. She was gorgeous, at least in Karl’s opinion.
Just not his type.
“Can I help you?” she snarled, nastiness residing in the pit of her tone.
“I- I would like to...talk to you?”
“Who are you?”
“Karl Jacobs,” he muttered, embarrassed, before adding, “Why are you so rude?”
Her eyes widened, like the mere questioning of her attitude was out of line. “Why do you care?”
“Stop answering my questions with more questions, please. I just want to talk to you, seriously,” he pleaded. “Give me like, five minutes. To speak.”
“Ok.” Caroline narrowed her eyes. “But only because I know you. You’re friends with Alison’s boy-toy.”
You could say that. “Yes.”
She led him into the library, then tapped her foot impatiently. “So?”
Karl started to get nervous. This was the only thing he needed to get right, then he would have the rest of the plan in motion.
He took a deep breath. “Will you go with me to Dream’s Halloween party?”
“ What?”
“I know, I know!” he cried, immediately backtracking.
She shook her head incredulously. “You know absolutely nothing about me.”
“Well, yes, except that you’re super scary, and that’s exactly why I didn’t want to ask you,” he rushed to explain. This was officially the worst-case scenario.
“Then why the hell would you ask me if you didn’t want to?” She didn’t look completely disgusted, on the bright side. More so intrigued.
He frantically looked around the library. Thankfully, nobody else was there to witness this monstrosity of a conversation, so he lowered his voice. “Listen. It’s a long story that I’d love to explain, but all I really need right now is your approval.”
“And why would I give you that without explanation?” Then, in an urgent whisper-shout: “I’m gay!”
“Me too!” he whisper-shouted back. No turning back now. “I sorta need you for this master plan to win back a guy. So just please say yes, it would mean the world to me.”
She analyzed his face intently, watching for any strands of ingenuity. “Fine,” she eventually spat. “I’m doing this a bit for myself, too. You’re not the only one using jealousy in your favor.”
After bribe-like promises of all-expenses-paid ice cream, Karl walked back to George and Dream’s lunch table in a haze.
“So how’d it go?” Dream asked, his anticipation similar to that of a dog before a walk.
“Um…I guess it technically worked.”
George handed Karl a white bedsheet. “Here’s your costume.”
“What?” he asked, perplexed. “Am I supposed to be a ghost or something?”
Caroline looked equally as confused. “Listen, if you’re making us be ghosts, I am totally out.”
George rolled his eyes and picked up a lavender dress laying on his bed. “Fuck no. That is the least jealousy-invoking costume combo I have ever heard of. Instead,” he declared, motioning towards the garment, “you will be Hercules and Meg.”
“Wait, that’s actually smart,” Karl exclaimed. “It’s Sapnap’s favorite movie, so he can’t help but look at us.”
“No shit.” George scoffed. “Plus, I heard his and Alison’s costumes are really unoriginal, so he’ll be jealous of you no matter what.”
Karl inspected his costume. “This is definitely not what Hercules wears in the movie.”
“It was not in our budget,” George deadpanned. “For dear Caroline, however, we went all out.”
They both watched as she unfolded the dress. It seemed as though great pain resided in her eyes, but she persisted nonetheless.
After she left the room to change, George began to help tie Karl’s outfit into a fitting toga.
“It doesn’t look half bad,” he said, admiring his finished work. “Now let’s get this goddamn show on the road.”
As George drove them to his boyfriend’s house for the party, Karl only worried more and more. Would this even work, or would Sapnap not give a shit? Maybe jealousy wasn’t the right pathway. Sapnap still hated him, after all, so why would he care about a new girlfriend? It was much too late to dwell on now, anyways. All he could do was hope for the best.
He looked at Caroline and saw her face riddled with anxiety. It seemed as though she had some thinking to do, too. This wasn’t just his challenge, anyway, it was also hers.
As an offering of friendship, he reached over to gently pat her hand. “Thank you for this. It really means a lot.” He gave her a small smile in affirmation.
She had always had her guard up, it was no surprise. But now, for whatever reason, she accepted it and returned the smile. Karl assumed it was their truce, or close enough to it. He wished her the best.
“We’re here,” George said blandly. “Now get out.”
And there they were, stepping into their new personas. Boyfriend and girlfriend, surely the new couple everyone would be whispering about.
He took Caroline’s hand as they walked up to the house, preparing himself for what was to come.
“This party is shit,” Karl yelled over the blasting music. “I haven’t seen him all night!”
George looked at him with a questioning look plastered on his face. “What?”
“Ugh. I said -”
“No, no. I heard you.” He rolled his eyes. “You haven’t seen Sapnap?”
“Oh. No, I haven’t. Have you?”
Caroline came back with drinks in hand. “What are we talking about?”
“I haven’t seen Sapnap, and we’ve already been here for an hour.” Karl fanned himself with his hand. “And it’s so fucking hot.”
George shrugged. “I’m kinda cold, actually.”
“Hoes never get cold,” he said, squinting.
Caroline looked between the two of them in disappointment. “Um...anyways, I literally just saw Alison and Sapnap in the kitchen. We should probably go there.”
Karl jumped up. “Come on, then, let’s fucking go!”
“Bye, George,” she sighed.
He wrapped his arm around her and lead them into the spacious kitchen. It was filled to the brim with horny teenagers, of course, but two specific horny teenagers caught his eye.
Finally, Karl had spotted his best friend, who happened to be (very publicly) making out with his girlfriend. They were both clad in devil costumes, which seemed to be fitting for their behavior. He resisted the urge to throw up and shot Caroline a disgusted look, which she returned.
As they walked closer, their presence still did not seem to be acknowledged. Everyone else had done so, though, as they had cleared an unintentional path for what was about to unfold.
A terrible idea popped into Karl’s head, but he followed it anyway. The two of them walked toward Sapnap and Alison, placing their drinks on a nearby countertop.
“Carol, you look so hot tonight,” he slurred intentionally.
She bit back a smile. “Thanks, babe. So do you, with your little toga.”
Still nothing. Not even a glance.
Guess it was time for plan B. Karl grabbed his drink again and took a swig. Wrapping his arm around Caroline’s neck, he whispered, “Just watch.”
Then, louder, he said, “Do you mind holding my drink for me real quick? I’ve gotta-”
Plop. The beer fell to the floor, right through Karl’s “slippery hands.”
And- jackpot- onto Sapnap’s shoes. His nice, shiny, red shoes.
“Fuck!” He yelled, separating from Alison with fervor. His gaze slowly trailed up, analyzing his ruined shoes, up to the splattered drink, up to…”Karl?”
Karl tried his best to look surprised. “Sapnap, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even mean to.”
He had invisible steam flowing out of his ears. Alison didn’t look too happy, either. Her dress had gotten slightly soaked by the impact.
But what really seemed to do Karl in was the expression on Sapnap’s face when he registered who he was with.
Caroline Landcaster was not just anyone, no, and Sapnap knew that. He looked back and forth, and back and forth, then blinked a few times. Glanced at Karl’s hands: one on her neck, the other wrapped around her waist. “What?”
They simply looked at him in confusion, both holding back laughter. “You ok, Sap?” Karl asked condescendingly.
“Yeah, I’m fine, asshole,” he muttered, then walked off.
Karl looked at Caroline quickly before following after his best friend. Alison was not trailing behind, he noted.
“Sap!” he called as he ran into the backyard. Surprisingly, no one was outside except for the two of them. A perfect opportunity for a much-needed confrontation.
He sat on the porch, facing away from Karl. “Why do you even care? Just go off with Caroline, you guys seem to enjoy each other’s company,” Sapnap snarled, jealousy evident in his voice.
The plan had worked, then.
“You know, it’s real funny to hear you all mad about me and some girl,” Karl laughed, words increasing in volume. “You know how much of a fucking hypocrite you are for that? Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you.”
His eyes snapped up, filled with rage. “What do you mean by that, hm? That I’m a hypocrite?”
Karl sat right down directly next to Sapnap, maintaining eye contact.
“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play dumb.”
“I’m sorry that you got pissed when I actually got a girlfriend.”
“Then why do you get to be mad when I do the same thing?” Karl snapped. “Tell me. Because I think we both fucking know why. Or do you want me to spell it out for you?”
He stayed silent and looked away, pulling at the grass. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”
Karl was furious at this point. “You don’t wanna talk? You don’t wanna talk about the fact that you still want me, even though you never fucking admitted it?”
Sapnap kept his head down, so Karl sharply grabbed ahold of his face.
“Why can’t you ever love me at the right time?” he softened, looking his best friend right in the eye. “I was there for you in the summer, and I was there when you wanted Alison over me. You do realize that I never stopped loving you, right? Ever since you started dating her, I held it all in. Now here we are, when I finally have a girlfriend. And you can’t even do the same for me? It’s not fair, Sap, it’s just not.”
He let Karl keep his face in his hands as he stared into the man across from him. Contemplating, his face seemed to read. Finally, he spoke. “Do you remember that night in August, when we got so drunk we fell asleep on top of the covers?”
“No.”
“Yeah, I figured you didn’t. Otherwise, you would’ve brought it up.”
Karl sighed, impatient. “What’s the point?”
“The point is that I knew.” Sapnap took the hand on his face and placed it in his. “You spilled your guts to me and forgot all about it the next day. And I knew that from the way you were talking that it wasn’t just a passing feeling. I could tell you meant it.” He hesitated for a moment. “And so did I. But I was really fucking scared, so I never mentioned it again. I thought that if you weren’t gonna say anything, then neither was I. So when Alison came along, I figured that maybe she would help me get over you.”
“And she did?” Karl winced.
“And she didn’t,” he corrected. “It was out of her hands, of course. She can’t just make me stop loving someone, especially if it’s you. But I stayed with her anyway because I thought my feelings would fade. Maybe if I just worked hard enough at it, I would be back to normal. But again, that doesn’t work. So here I am, months later, finally realizing that I love you. And, of course, I’m too late.”
Karl stared and stared at the boy he loved most, the boy he would do anything for. He brushed back Sapnap’s hair off his forehead and entwined his fingers through the locks. Wordlessly, he leaned in and exchanged the most unforgettable kiss of his life, chasing after the other’s lips after he pulled away.
It was so unbelievably sweet and soft, just like how he remembered.
“Wait, Karl-” Sapnap steadied his hand on his lover’s shoulder. “What about Caroline?”
“She’s not actually my girlfriend, it’s fine, just kiss me,” he rushed, dipping back into the heavenly feeling of Sapnap’s lips. He abruptly pulled back, however, remembering a key detail.
“What do you mean she’s not your girlfriend, K-” started Sapnap.
“ What about Alison, you asshole!” Karl practically screamed, running back into the house where he had left the two girls.
“Oh my god, Alison, I’m so so sorry, I just kissed-” he began, then screeched to a halt.
Right there, in the kitchen, sat Alison and Caroline, found…in a similar position to the two boys before.
They both looked up on cue, lipstick smeared across Caroline’s face. “Oh, hey Karl,” she said casually. “I got my issue sorted out, did you?”
Sapnap came in behind Karl, looking extremely anxious. “Ali, I’m so sor- Oh. Thank god.”
Caroline looked between the two of them. “I’d take that as a yes.”
“Probably. Bye girls, have fun.”
“You too!”
It was safe to say that the plan, although quite hectic, did work. Karl was finally done with hoping and ready for reality.
“I love you, Sap,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”