Chapter Text
Alice was knee-deep in another project, cleaning out the massive room in the loft.
She’d given up on crafting, cooking, and smithing since she ran out of materials so all she had left to keep herself busy was clean. And since she barely did anything in her loft besides sleep, the only place she could clean was this giant room.
The only issue was cleaning was a mindless task, meaning it left room to think about Cecil.
Maybe, I could just tell him hi and pretend it never happened… No… that'd never work. He'd definitely ask what the hell I was thinking. Or maybe I just tell him it was all the love potion’s fault and I definitely only see him as a friend… Also no, I'm an awful liar. I could just get amnesia again… that's my worst idea yet. What if-
“Alice?” Before Alice could spiral further, she heard footsteps coming up the stairs as her name was called. She quietly closed the door of the room she was working in, hoping the guest would just leave. “Alice. I know you're in that room. Come out and stop being a brat.”
Lucy was standing outside the door, waiting impatiently with a hand on her hip, tapping her foot. “There's literally piles of junk right outside the door, you really thought no one would notice?”
Alice opened the door in defeat. “I haven't had a chance to throw it away yet.”
“Too busy hiding from Cecil?” Lucy said with an agitated tone. She had been passing by every day, checking on Alice’s injuries only to learn that she was only complying with medical orders since she was avoiding Cecil. It was a little annoying to say the least and Alice was acting childish. Especially since she was working to get Alice out the house to see him.
Alice simply didn't answer, instead walking quietly over to her bed to sit so Lucy could examine her leg and other injuries.
Lucy sighed, kneeling down as she examined Alice's leg. “You need to talk to him and stop avoiding everyone lately. I already apologized for eavesdropping literally the next day.” Lucy stood up, moving to check Alice's stomach, mumbling something about Alice collecting scars like she was in a competition with Murakumo.
Alice simply listened, moving as Lucy told her to, taking the pills Lucy handed her. Lucy bringing up that night just reminded her of Cecil's face, the blank stare she couldn't read. She'd think about it every night, trying to decide if he was angry, annoyed, upset. Each emotion she guessed only dredged up more fear, more reasons to avoid talking to him a little longer.
“I can't…” Alice sighed, finally speaking up, “You saw what happened. He didn't even move, he was just standing there… what if he hates me now?”
Lucy sat on the bed across from Alice, leaning forward, she let out a deep breathe. She was hoping Alice would talk to Cecil before anything like this happened. “Alice, there's something you should know.” Alice looked to the other blonde attentively, earning an apologetic look from Lucy, she didn't want to hurt Alice but it was too late. “Cecil visited Ludmilla. They talked about love potions.”
Alice felt her heart stop for a moment, feeling the panic rise and burn her throat. It was easy enough to understand.
He knew.
If Ludmilla gave him the same explanation she’d given Alice; he knew she had a drop of love potion that night that went out of control. He knew her feelings weren't a symptom, that they were real.
“Lucy, I still don't know what to tell him.” She felt tears threaten to fall, she wasn't ready. Maybe she'd never be ready.
Lucy put a hand on Alice's shoulder, a gentle gesture of sympathy, “I know. But I just wanted to warn you.” She let out a concerned sigh and stood up, “Come on, let's pick up some lunch at the Lackadaisy and go to Priscilla's. Last thing you need to do right now is hide in your room, going crazy.”
“I can't go to the Lackadaisy.” Alice mumbled, the lone tear falling that she couldn't hold back. She felt so small, so defeated.
Lucy stopped, looking down at Rigbarth’s strongest fighter, their bravest ranger. Alice looked just like any other girl in this moment. About the same age as her and Priscilla, a girl who was scared of talking to the guy she liked, but brave enough to take on monsters in deep chasms and forests. Though she was a bundle of contradictions, she was still just a person.
Lucy gave Alice a soft smile, wanting her to know it was going to be okay but she knew Alice wouldn't listen to reason right now. “I know. That's why Priscilla is patiently waiting in the lobby to walk you to her house, swiftly and sneakily while I secure lunch for all of us.” Lucy grinned, “I have eyes on Cecil, he's still at the beach training so you won't see him yet.”
Alice gave a small, thankful smile, a bit of relief. “Thank you, Lucy.”
Lucy grinned, it was minor; but she'd help Alice however she needed. “Yea, yea. Just promise me you'll go back to being badass soon.”
___________
Lucy kept her promise, no one saw Alice on the way to Priscilla's and she was in “safely.” They kept the conversation away from anything love, Cecil, or potion related. Mostly chatting about sewing techniques and Granny Yuki's latest treats at the bakery.
They had been talking for hours. The sun set long ago and Priscilla was already dozing off on the couch, trying to fight sleep for Alice's sake. When Alice checked the time, it was nearly 11:30pm. Lucy had left 2 hours ago to fetch Julian so Alice just needed to go home by herself, but she was basically next door so it should be fine. She was feeling a little better now that she left the house, maybe more courageous to venture out. She also figured it was late enough that she could water the crops “safely.”
“Safely” meaning not running into Cecil.
She went to grab her watering can that was placed near the stairs; the soil looked mostly dry at least. She walked to the well, filling it up, careful not to hurt herself since she was still technically recovering.
As she began watering, her mind went back to thinking up explanations to tell Cecil. Nothing sounded good enough, nothing sounded honest enough. She sighed as she finished a row of tulips. Continuing to mindlessly water her crops.
______
Maybe the sound of boots on pavement didn't reach her ears, or she was just too focused.
“Alice?” Her heart dropped then jumped back up to her throat. She felt like all she could hear was her blood rushing to her head as her anxiety ran rampant. “Can we talk?”
That was definitely Cecil. The voice she used to love to hear calling her name, the voice she dreamed about nonstop lately. Now, all she felt was guilt and empty.
“Hey. Sorry. I've been kinda busy.” Alice said as calmly as her voice allowed, not even daring to look at him, scared she’d see a face of disappointment, anger…maybe disgust.
She tried to casually put her watering can down and walk to the stairs at a normal speed. “Actually, I really need to go now.” Alice quickly added, her voice and hands shaking. Any excuse, anything to get out of here.
“Alice?!” Cecil called out, she heard a shuffle, but she was already up the stairs, closing and locking the door. There was no knocking, just silence on the other end. Nothing. Maybe he'd already given up.
Alice felt the emptiness in her stomach spread to her chest. Tears immediately filling her eyes, before she could figure out what to do next, the tears just fell at an alarming rate.
Warm, wet, cowardly, frustrating tears.
She tried wiping them away as fast as they fell, but it was just too late. She felt her chest burn, she had forgotten how to breathe for a moment. As she breathed in quickly, she choked on a sob.
That's when she could hear the boots hitting the stairs quickly as the sound carried from the lobby to her loft. “I'm coming in!” There was the voice again, close, so heartbreakingly close.
“Just please wait,” Alice managed to force out through another sob, holding her hand out in front of herself. She couldn't stop the tears but she didn't want him to see her like this, “Please just-”
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t wanna come in this way; but I just have to see you. Please.” He sounded out of breath, as if he was running.
Alice still couldn't bring herself to look at him; the tears were too heavy, too much. Everything was too blurry anyway. Everything was ruined anyway.
She had no excuses planned out; she wasn't prepared. Panic-stricken, she just repeated her earlier statement, “I'm sorry. I'm really busy.”
Alice turned around, hand to the doorknob, all she could think to do was leave the loft. Leave whatever room, building, and village he was in right now.
She'd have a plan tomorrow, she'd look at him properly with no crying tomorrow. She could pretend two nights didn't exist. The amnesia plan could work.
“Please, Alice!” Cecil grabbed her wrist as gently as he could, removing her hand from the door and placed his other hand on the door behind her. His breath was uneven, he was so close she could feel him exhale, his breath fanning the top of her head as she refused to turn around to avoid seeing his face. “Please, don't run from me.”
Alice heard the shake in his voice, the same shake she felt in her entire body right now. He was scared, no, maybe angry. She couldn't tell, and it was torture. Alice felt more tears slip out, covering her face to try to make them stop as she answered honestly, “I'm scared.”
“Of me?” Cecil asked quietly, his voice shaking even more. He let go of her wrist which he was barely holding already. His arm that was on the wall near her head went slightly limp. “I'm s-”
She winced; she was already making this worse somehow, “No! Not you! It's not like that.” Alice spun around, finally, seeing Cecil for the first time in nearly a week.
His usual hat and jacket were missing, his clothes damp, and he looked disheveled. He had a slight tan from hours of training in the sun and specks of sand still stuck to his hair and forearms. It was the first time she'd seen him in a week, and it was already so different. She wanted to see him again, so bad; but smiling and laughing with her. Instead, here he was, exhausted, with a look of pure distress and fatigue.
“Like what?” He asked quietly, carefully, staring at her intently, his eyes begging for answers.
“I- I didn-”
There was a shuffle in the lobby, a door closing or maybe opening. Both Cecil and Alice turn to look toward the sound. The air feeling thinner; harder to breathe in. The small sounds coming from the bottom of the stairs were painfully loud in the silence that fell between them.
“Come on,” Cecil whispered, taking her hand, “we need to talk privately.” He walked towards the room Alice had only recently finished cleaning out, noticing the maze of boxes that still needed to be thrown. He pushed the door open, tugging her gently into the private room, and closed the door quietly behind them.
Alice was looking at the floor again, unable to look at him head-on as she tried to find the words she needed. Something to fix this, something to stop the crying, some magic words to go back to before the love potion. “Cecil, I'm sorry I didn-”
“Alice, please just look at me.”
She ignored his plea, deciding to just finish this. Rip it off like a bandaid, and if he didn't like it… if he didn’t talk to her…
Alice couldn't bring herself to finish her thought. She'd just say what she had to say to get through this. “I didn't mean to do any of this. I wanted to explain myself, I swear I did,” she took in a shaky breath, but it came out more of a choked sob, not daring to look at him as she let go of his hand, using both of her hands to wipe at her eyes. Scared to see that same blank stare on his face that she saw that night, “I-I had a drop of love potion, and things got confusing. I'm sorry I did that. I'm sure it was uncomfortable, but I didn't mean it.” She finished with another small whimper she tried to hold back. The crying still continued on its own as she waited for him to just be done with her. The tears felt so intrusive, so private, yet here he was, watching the “ace ranger” at her weakest.
“Alice.”
Her name, just her name. How did he make it sound so nice, so soft? It was just her name, just a word.
“Alice.”
The only thing she knew about herself when she first came here, her name. How could he still say it so kindly after everything?
“Alice, please.” She felt his fingers slowly trace up from her elbow, ghosting over her forearm, to the hands over her eyes. Gently trying to pry them away, to make her face him, to see her. She felt her heart pound away in her chest, fear continuing to run wild. She didn't know what would happen if she looked at him again, what other awful feelings would come back. But he already had his fingers laced between her damp, tear-covered ones. His hand was callous and warm; she could feel small specks of grit, maybe sand, still clinging to his skin.
She still needed more space; Alice started to retreat backward, only to feel a firm hand on her lower back, forming a barrier between her and the wall she was about to bump into; she was caught. One of Cecil’s hands holding her hand to stop her from hiding her face, the other hand holding her there against the wall. She couldn't run or hide anymore.
It was over.
“Alice, please just look at me.” Cecil pleaded again, voice shaking more, his pitch slightly increasing with urgency and… fear… maybe sadness.
Alice dared to look at him, concern for the person she loved overpowering her own fear, just barely.
His blue eyes were desperate, with a glint of relief when her eyes met his. The dim light of the room gave just enough light for them to see each other. She didn't even realize how dark it was, how close he was.
He let out a breath like he'd been holding it in for too long, “Please, no more avoiding me.”
Alice willed her body to listen, standing silently still. Her tears, however, continued rolling away quietly down her cheeks as she tried to even her breathing. Cecil raised their linked hands up, moving his index finger away for a moment to wipe a stray tear before letting their hands come back together, putting them to his chest. She could feel his heart beating erratically, his breathing still uneven.
The silence was too long, too painful, he was too kind to her. This had to be it. “Please, Cecil, please just forget it happened.” Alice pleaded in a whisper. She just wanted this to stop. That if it had to end, it'd be now before she made things worse.
“I don't wanna forget it,” Cecil answered weakly. “I don't want to forget,” he repeated again, a fragile whisper this time.
Alice went to speak, to ask what he meant, to ask why, but he was already answering.
“I'm in love with you.” He let out another deep breath, steadying himself, staring at their hands resting on his chest. “I've been so in love with you for so long now.”
Alice sucked in a breath, maybe she didn't hear him right, but he continued.
“I wanted to do this properly, to take you somewhere nice, bring a bouquet…” He took a deep breath in. His thumb pressed to her lower back and began to make mindless circles, “but when I saw you tonight, I had to tell you no matter what. And I know about the love potion, and if you wanna forget about it, that's fine. But I don't want to.” Cecil looked into Alice's eyes, bright blue meeting sage green, his voice sounding slightly hoarse, “I really don't want to forget, Alice.”
“You love me?” It was all she could say. The tears slowed down, and her chest was no longer as hollow. Her increasing heartbeat slowly filled the empty space as Cecil answered.
“Of course, how couldn't I?” A soft smile twitched at the ends of his lips as he looked down at their hands again. He was finally able to tell her, but…his expression turned sad again, cautious as he took a shaky breath in. “You said you were confused, scared, that you didn't mean any of it? Is that true?”
Alice didn't want to keep eye contact, it was too much. The fear was still lurking in the back of her mind, that she could still mess this up. She tried so hard to will it to stop, forcing herself to keep eye contact. The only thing allowing her to stay grounded was that small circle being drawn into her back. A small, constant reminder not to run anymore. “No, I wa-”
“It's fine. You don't have to explain.” Cecil let out his breath, he was unconsciously holding it as he waited for her answer. Reflexively he tightened his hold on her hand, the other hand now pressing flat into her back, pulling her closer to him. “Why didn't you just talk to me?”
Alice tensed up a bit, she knew running away, avoiding him was cowardly, but she felt like she had no other option. “I was just scared. Scared that I'd lose you….” A shaky, pained breath, realizing her reasoning was selfish. “You just stood there, confused. Like I did something awful to-”
“No! It wasn't awful!” Cecil cut in urgently, refusing to let her think that. “I just… I was shocked…” he leaned into her, his forehead resting against hers. His shirt damp and cold, his breath fanning her as he spoke causing goosebumps to riddle her skin, “I mean, the girl I've been in love with for months told me she loved me and kissed me.” He let out a gentle laugh, closing his eyes, “I honestly thought I dreamt it up.”
Alice let a small smile inch onto her face, “How do you know this isn’t a dream?” Trying to drive away the remaining panic and fear in her system with a lighthearted comment. It was okay, it was over. It's not over forever like she feared, just no more running, no more secretive feelings. More like something was starting.
Cecil let out a small chuckle, “You would have said it back by now if I was dreaming.”
“I love you” She let it go, let it slip past her un-tainted lips that haven’t touched a drop of love potion. It was real.
Cecil let out a tired hum, the exhaustion from training and the emotions that came with today slowly taking over his voice. “I’ve been trying to figure out why someone as amazing as you would love me for the entire afternoon.”
Alice let out a small laugh, “I'm not amazing.” He raised his head, looking at her quizzically, like she was grossly incorrect. Alice sighed, “Are you serious?”
“Very.”
Alice sighed; his eyes examined her face, waiting as she spoke. She was still unnerved, but she owed him honesty after all of this.
“Well, you were really my first friend here, you know? And you always helped me, cared about me; even when I can’t tell you anything, you still care.” She gave him a soft smile, his eyes growing wider. This felt good, the fear and worry leaving, replaced with something softer, warm. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time, maybe even longer than you’ve loved me.” She smiled gently, “I just think you have so much talent and potential. Because of you, I'm never alone. You’re so much more than you can see, and-”
His lips collided with hers. So different from that first brief kiss a week ago. Was it a week ago? A whole week?
The taste of the kiss wasn’t sweet like fruit this time; instead, there was salt from the sea or maybe even tears. Deeper, more desperate.
Cecil used his hand on her lower back to pull her body closer, pressing her against him. His shirt left him cold and damp, but Alice was so warm, so soft. He let go of her hand, moving to gently hold the nape of her neck instead, angling her for a deeper kiss.
But maybe it was too deep, she was forgetting to breathe, not sure how she was supposed to breathe during a kiss like this. Alice broke away with a small gasp, reminding herself that next time they do this, she should try breathing through her nose.
But it was a short thought, he was kissing her again, pressing his lips against hers a little harder. She let out a small noise of surprise, and Cecil seized the opportunity to slant their mouths and deepen the kiss further. Cecil’s head was buzzing, unsure of what he was doing, just wanting to keep chasing this feeling.
He shifted, curling his other arm around Alice’s waist, his fingers slipping under her shirt accidentally, soft skin touching his worn-out hands. Cecil went to pull away from the touch, but Alice tangled a hand in his hair, the other gripping onto his shoulder to pull him back into the kiss. Her fingers slipped under the collar of his shirt, ghosting over the skin where his collarbone and neck meet. He felt her tongue slide experimentally across his lower lip. It was a lot, a good a lot. But a lot. Enough.
Cecil pulled back, a little breathless, “Sorry.” a small chuckle, “I interrupted you.”
“I don’t even remember what we were talking about,” Alice laughed; her lips were shimmering, slightly red, distracting.
“Me either,” he smiled gently, leaning in to kiss her again, slower, still hungry. He moved his hands to cup her face, pulling away to look at her. Deciding on one more small kiss, he’d limit himself to a single second this time. It was still a lot. He let out a strained breath, he was getting ahead of himself. “I should go. It’s getting late.”
“Already?” Alice questioned in a disappointed tone, a hint of sadness. She didn't really realize the implications.
“Please don’t say it like that,” Cecil groaned, laying his forehead onto her shoulder, and pulling her into a hug. She was still playing with his hair, everything she said, everything she touched was making his body hum in excitement. It was real.
“What now?” Alice whispered. A genuine question, what do they do now?
“Probably a real date,” Cecil answered. That was his original plan, at least. “Tomorrow?”
Alice laughed at his enthusiasm, but then her smile faded, “We should wait, I still have to handle this cavern’s mission.” She let out a tired sigh, “The lake is still frozen because I haven’t handled it yet.”
“I didn't notice,” Cecil laughed. He was just so happy right now. The lake could stay frozen, it'd be Rigbarth's new attraction for all he cared. He just wanted to be with Alice on their own terms. He knew he was being selfish, though, he sighed, “We'll handle it soon.”
“We?” Alice asked.
“I assume that's what the cavern mission is for.” Cecil pulled away looking at her expression. She was a little taken aback. “It's a bit obvious.”
Alice huffed, a small smile, “Right, you are a detective.”
Cecil smiled back, “Technically, apprentice, Terry reminds me daily.” The last part said with a little annoyance.
Alice took in his tired smile, her heart full. She started to wonder how she was supposed to act tomorrow: do they greet the same, act the same, or does it all change? After a moment of silence, Cecil resting his head back on Alice's shoulder, “Are you sure you can’t stay?”
Cecil let out a deep sigh, “Absolutely not, and you really shouldn’t say things like that.” Alice looked at him as if to question it, but before she could, he simply kissed her one last time, one more time just for the night. “It’s late, Alice. I also have a multi-step plan, and we already skipped steps 2 through 23. I should leave before we skip to step 127.”
Alice laughed, she felt lighter than she has in weeks, maybe months. The feelings she kept smothered finally free. Finally it was okay, she'd catch up to everything else with Cecil.