Chapter Text
Tension between Loid and Yor were still in the air, and unfortunately, the neighbors noticed Yor's state and began to gossip. Loid caught onto to their whispers and began to panic at the thought of Yor going to her SSS brother and telling him how Loid is not being a good husband. So, he must clear the air and show his wife that he appreciates her for everything she has done for the family.
After school on Friday, Loid planned an outing with just him and Yor. While his wife was at work, Loid called up Frankie to babysit the kids for the evening.
"You know I can watch the house while you and Mom go out." Eric stated in a displeased tone while Frankie played with Anya in the background.
"I can't leave two kids alone without an adult." Loid stated as he pulled on his coat.
"I'm an adult." Eric deadpanned, "In fact, I'm positive I'll be the only adult watching over those two." He jabbed his thumb behind him as Frankie donned a cape.
In the months since Eric and Anya were adopted, they'd occasionally see Frankie. Anya didn't mind his company as he was willing to play fun games with her. Eric, however, didn't think much of Frankie. He doesn't dislike the man, but he can't find anything in common between them to create some kind of friendship. If anything, it borders of indifference and neutrality. From what Anya gleaned from his thoughts, he's Twilight's informant, they met during the war on opposite sides, he likes women and money. Eric can respect the scruffy man for sticking his neck out to find information for their father.
Loid sighed as he laid a hand over his son's hair. "I understand your feelings. But honestly, I feel more at ease knowing you have backup."
Eric frowned up at his father, strictly denying his enjoyment of the man rubbing the top of his head as he maintained an annoyed front. "He doesn't look like he can defend himself against a mouse."
"Hey!" Frankie exclaimed when he heard the kid.
Loid could not deny Eric's statement then made a request, "Please, just bear with it while I talk things out with Yor."
Eric stared at him silently then sighed in resignation. "Fine. But don't expect me to save him if something goes wrong." He cheekily said as he rubbed the back of his head and turned away to return to the couch and read.
Relieved at his son for accepting the situation, he turned to leave. "Okay, thanks for looking after the place while I-"
A dog bowl hit him square in the back of the head with dead accuracy.
"Hm." Eric quietly said, impressed by Frankie's trajectory before the scruffy man zipped over to Loid.
"How many times do I have to tell you; I'm not a babysitter!" Frankie screamed at Loid who rubbed the back of his head in surprise.
Loid whispered, "And I told you Frankie, I have to clear up Yor's misconception about my colleague. The mission's in trouble."
"Then have a family meeting at home!" Frankie hissed under his breath while the kids and pets observed the interaction.
'For a dumb-looking guy, he's not wrong.' Eric thought to himself as he crossed his legs underneath him on the couch and began to read the latest novel.
"There's some things I'd rather not say in front of the you-know-what." Loid stated then pulled out a thick wad of cash, Frankie's greatest weakness. "And so."
"You can't just throw money at me every time I have a legitimate concern you know!" Frankie furiously said as Loid pushed that all too powerful button to make him do whatever Loid wants. He then snatched and pocketed the money from Loid's hand then reverted to his happy-go-lucky persona, "Okay guys, it's party time! Let's go to the park, sound like fun?"
"It's dark out and I have no intention of being cold." Eric said in a blank tone as he turned a page.
Loid then slipped out of the apartment to meet up with Yor.
For that entire evening, Frankie entertained Anya with all kinds of games until she fell asleep into Bond's fur.
Frankie slumped on the couch in exhaustion. "Finally...she's down for the count."
"Mmhm." Eric responded beside Frankie, hardly moving from his spot as he turned another page.
"Yeah, thanks for the help by the way." Frankie sarcastically said to the six-year-old.
"You handled the task perfectly without assistance. Honestly, you're great with kids." Eric praised the man without looking up from his book, which Frankie noted is over 300 pages thick and the kid started reading it two hours ago and is already 78% done.
'This kid is too much like Loid.' Frankie deadpanned at Twilight's offspring whom he had very little interaction with since they met. He's 95% positive the boy is Loid's biological son despite how much the two deny that assessment with the same blank stare.
Frankie sighed as his head fell back, "Nothing against you or your sister, but I had plans."
"Like asking a woman out on a date only to be rejected in a cold manner?" Eric asked in his usually calm tone as he refused to look up from his book.
Okay, that actually stung Frankie as he stared at Eric in shock and fear, "How did you know?" 'Is Loid training this kid to become a spy already?'
Eric frowned in disbelief as he finally looked up at the older man. "I was kidding. But thanks for the confirmation."
Frankie groaned miserably as his head fell back again. "She could have at least given it some thought."
Eric sighed as he slowly closed his book. "How often did you interact with her before you asked her out?"
"Well," Frankie fiddled with his fingers, "she works at a convenience store, and I would chat with her when I bring my basket over. I come in everyday for the last three weeks and I have been nice in our conversations. I compliment her and ask her how she's doing. I knew she wasn't married since she wasn't wearing a ring, so I just popped that question."
Eric propped his head on his fist with his elbow planted on the cushion while stroking Honey Ninja's fur. "Then she said she had a boyfriend, right?"
"Yeah." Frankie moped.
"You set yourself up for failure since day one." Eric bluntly stated, bringing a heavy boulder of depression down on Frankie's curly head.
"That's very mean of you to say!" Frankie had tears streaming down his face as he glared at Eric.
Eric gave the man an unimpressed stare, "If you were looking for a shoulder to cry on, I don't fit the bill. I only listened to you out of courtesy since you need an adult to talk to."
"You're six years old." Frankie deadpanned.
Eric ignored that statement, "Not to sound cruel, but your method of courtship was borderline creepy, stalkerish even. You showed up at her work every day to chat her up. Surely you noticed how uncomfortable she was at some point in the three weeks you've known her."
Frankie's face fell as he recalled how her eyebrow twitched in annoyance and how quick her hands moved when she scanned his stuff. She'd even cut him off mid-conversation by telling him the amount he owes then eagerly giving his change before loudly calling the next customer in line.
The scruffy man's head fell on his chest, "Well...there were some signs."
Eric nodded with a hum, "My point exact. Reading the room is most important if you wanna figure out your next move. It's also important not to come on too strongly. Otherwise, they'll feel threatened and cornered and will use every method at their disposal to escape a predatorial situation." He explained in a calm and stoic manner as though he was narrating a documentary.
"I wasn't being a predator!" Frankie said in defense.
Eric gave him a blank stare.
"I'm really not!"
Eric hummed to himself then got off the couch, "Be right back."
Three minutes later, he pulled several books from his bedroom. "Let's see," Eric flipped through the pages of the first book he picked up, "sand sculpting is an excellent way to attract a potential mate. It's a surefire way to show your artistic talent as it translates your feelings in quiet yet majestic way."
"You're saying I should go to a beach?" Frankie held his chin and nodded to himself, "Not a bad idea, plus there's bikinis." He added with a twinkle in his eyes at the thought.
"You'd look horrendous in a bikini." Eric deadpanned with disgust.
"That's not what I meant!"
Eric sighed as he pulled out another book, "Okay, how about this," Pages fluttered until he got to the part he was looking for, "A ritual dance could work, that is, if you have the proper footwork and are able to literally bend over backwards and extend your limbs in all directions. But I'm sure with some pain tolerance, we could make something work."
Frankie winced as he massaged his thighs as the image of himself doing the splits sprang forth. He's certain his bones will snap and he'll never walk again.
Eric watched the discomfort on the man's face then closed the book.
"You could show off some of your fighting prowess." Eric opened another page, "There are plenty of males looking for potential partners and they tend to battle it out for the right to mate."
"I'm pretty sure I'll be killed."
"Good point." Eric pulled another book, "Gathering food of immense quality outside of your burrow to attract a potential partner could definitely work."
"Kid, what kind of dating books are you even reading?" Frankie asked when he realized he's taking advice from someone who hasn't gone through puberty and has reading material involving relationships.
Eric blinked at him, "Dating books? I'm just reading about the lives of animals and what steps they take to create their families." He held up the book covers showing the various fish and animals he researched previously for fun. "I thought these might work for you."
A tick mark appeared on Frankie's head. "Do I look like an animal to you!" He exclaimed, red in fury and embarrassment at being compared to anything not human.
"Hmmmm." Eric tilted his head and squint, "In a certain position and light...yes."
Frankie gritted his teeth and clenched his fists at the boy's blunt response.
Anya began to stir from her nap, making Frankie and Eric turn to see the youngest member of the family rub her eyes. "Mama and Papa back yet?" She slurred cutely as she looked around for their parents.
"No, not yet." Eric answered as Anya stood up and walked over to the window and pushed the curtains aside.
"Mama and Papa are late. Must be out shacking up somewhere." Anya theorized with a certain look.
"Where did you learn to say things like that?" Frankie asked as he was sure toddlers aren't supposed to learn those kinds of terms yet.
"And why?" Eric added as he's sure Anya has no clue what those terms mean.
"Mostly from Becky. I hope they're home soon." Anya said, having been bombarded by worrisome thoughts from her parents. Given the tension between them, Anya could not help but fret over them.
Frankie stared at the kids with a contemplative look. "Anya, Eric, honestly do you like your parents?"
Eric answered with certainty, "Of course, they're great to be around and I learn all kinds of things from them."
Anya had no hesitance in her words, "I love them."
"I see." Frankie responded with a calm tone. Though internally, he pitied the kids because he knows for people like Twilight, they cannot get emotionally attached or it will complicate the mission. From what he observed, Twilight loves and cares for his adopted children and wife very dearly. He sometimes wondered if the family man Twilight created is just another mask or the person he wants to become.
Then the door opened. "We're home." Loid announced their return as Anya and Bond bounded over to greet them.
"Mama and Papa are flir-" Anya paused when she saw her parents' faces, "-ting."
Loid's chin resembled a swollen red potato while Yor blushed in embarrassment.
Eric frowned at the state their father was in as he held Honey Ninja close. "Bar fight perhaps?" 'No, Twilight would win a bar fight. Could it be...' His green eyes slid over to their red-faced mother, 'On second thought, never mind.'
Frankie was full on laughing at Loid's face, "HAHAHAHAHA! Holy cow! Did you put the moves on her and get clobbered?" He was enjoying this way too much after the humiliating conversation he had with Eric about dating rituals.
"No, it's not like that!" Yor responded in in her flustered state over her drunken attack on her husband.
"Big ol' chin monster!" Anya declared at the sight of her father's face.
"I'll get a cold compress." Eric moved to the kitchen as Frankie picked Anya up to get a closer look at Loid's swollen chin. He leaned back in response when his daughter reaches out to touch it.
Yor smiled at her family as all the worries she carried over the last few days evaporated.
Loid sat down for Eric to apply the compress to his face while Yor prepared tea.
The next morning, Yor woke up with no memory of what she did to Loid as she stared at the chin monster in surprise.