Archive of Our Own ^beta

[1]

It’s only when things get truly and utterly hopeless that Dean prays. He gets on his knees and prays that someone out there can hear him and maybe, maybe , even wants to help him. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t too keen on the whole religion thing, Dean prays anyway.

Then Dean meets Castiel. And he finally knows who he’s been praying to.

He meets this larger-than-life being with cosmic powers, capable of such profound violence and death. And as it turns out, he’s taken an interest in Dean. Dean of all people! 

At first it’s unbelievable, then it becomes terrifying.

What must the angel think of him? If he’s heard all his prayers throughout the years he must know how weak Dean actually is. Does he think he’s a coward? That he can’t even stand up to his own father? Does he know that he feels like a failure to the point of wishing he was dead?

But when Dean meets Cas’ eyes, all he sees is reverence and hope (and maybe even a twinge of… affection ? No, that can’t be it). 

So, if he decides that maybe not all angels are grade-A assholes, that’s his business.

[2]

Obviously, Dean knows Cas isn’t human, hell it’s one of the first things he found out about the guy. That doesn’t change the rush he feels when Cas heals him.

The first time it had happened, Dean was hurt, bad .

Cas had placed his hand on Dean, and he had almost sighed with relief (though he blames that on his injuries, what else could it have been?). There was a holy glow and the most wonderful feeling Dean had ever felt.

It was like, just for a moment, everything was all right in the world. It was like falling in love. The feeling that whatever happens, you won’t have to deal with it alone anymore.

Then the feeling was gone just as quickly as it had arrived, taking Dean's wounds with it. Dean desperately needed to feel that again.

[3]

“Damn it!” Dean exclaims. This was supposed to be an open and shut case yet here he was, in some abandoned building, covered in bits of ceiling. The monster had somehow managed to cave in one side of the room.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Cas pops into existence right beside him, making him jump.

“Christ! Yeah, just locked in.” Motioning to where the door would have been, had it not been covered in rubble.

“Oh.” Cas paused a long time, as if thinking something through. “I could… fly you out?” Cas’ tone was hesitant and Dean had no idea why it would be. It must have shown on his face because Cas added: “You told me you dislike flying.”

Oh.

While it’s true that Dean had said that, he didn’t have any problem with the act of flying in itself. The problem was how close Cas got to him to do it.

“It’s fine. Let’s just get out of here.” He spoke gruffly, hoping it’d cover his awkwardness.

Cas nodded and stepped into Dean’s space. He looked up into the man’s green eyes, asking for permission. Dean sucked in a breath and nodded almost imperceptibly, and suddenly, Cas’ hands were on him. Not in a particularly explicit way (although Dean’s mind did go there ), Cas just had his hands on Dean’s shoulders, yet Dean couldn’t stop thinking .

Thinking about leaning in even closer, connecting their bodies in as many places as possible. Cradling Cas’ face and kissing him silly all the while grinding against his-

No. 

Get a hold of yourself Dean. He’s just trying to help you out, don’t make it weird. 

Taking a steadying breath, Dean shook the thoughts out of his head and nodded to Cas again.

He felt wings wrap around him, folding around his back and caressing (?) his face.

The journey took less than a second, but to Dean it felt like forever. He was too busy tracking all the places Cas was touching him, both with his hands and wings , to notice how his stomach swooped.

Suddenly they were back at the motel and Cas was separating himself from Dean. And although he’d never admit it, Dean missed the embrace.

[4]

In hindsight it was a really dumb decision, but Dean Winchester is not known for making good decisions. 

It all starts late one evening when Sam is on a food run. Cas is in the library doing research and Dean is deciding what to wear for an undercover mission. He usually doesn’t have trouble picking clothes, but what can he say? He's getting old and out of touch.

Anyways, that’s to say he goes out into the library holding his two most acceptable shirt options to ask Cas’ opinion. 

“Hey Cas, what do you think?” 

Cas lifts his gaze from the old tome on the table immediately flushes. Dean apparently neglected to think about the fact that he is entirely shirtless and how that might be an… issue .

One of the lamps on the desk shatters. Cas doesn’t seem to notice.

“Dean.” Cas is breathless and openly gawking. 

Dean clears his throat, completely red in the face. “Sorry man. Didn’t mean to…” He trails off, transfixed by Cas’ gaze. Suddenly Cas is up on his feet and advancing towards Dean with more conviction than ever. 

“You’re beautiful, Dean.” He says, more breath than word, but Dean understands. He grows somehow even redder and looks off to the side, completely overwhelmed by the emotions welling up within him.

Cas places his hand on the side of Dean's face. “Look at me.” And Dean does, by God , he does. “May I kiss you?” It’s quiet and soft and everything Dean isn’t, but how could he say no to that? Apparently incapable of human speech he just nods his head frantically.

Cas captures his lips in a soft loving kiss unlike any Deans ever had. It’s gentle and deep and perfect all at once. It’s years of pining compressed into one clash of lips. It’s everything Dean has ever wanted. And he’s clearly not the only one affected. He feels power thrum through them and hears the sounds of glass shattering around the room.

They both start smiling and have to break away to laugh. Leaning against each other, forehead to forehead, they laugh breathless laughs and embrace each other, feeling like a great weight has been lifted.

When they open their eyes they notice almost all the lamps have blown out. Cas looks a little sheepish and Dean reassures him with another kiss. They’ll have to talk about a lot of things later, but for now they just want to bask in each other’s presences a little while longer.

That is until Dean has to break away to call Sam and let him know to buy new light bulbs on his way home.

[5]

Since that first kiss, Dean hadn’t been able to keep his hands off Cas. He liked holding his hand, or touching his shoulder, or pressing their legs together as they sat (or honestly a thousand other things that all made Sam want to barf). Cas would have never guessed he was this clingy , and honestly, it surprised Dean just as much.

But despite all the touching, they hadn’t gone all the way yet. Not because they didn’t want to (and believe me, Dean wanted to), they were just taking their time. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t have a little fun.

Dean found sitting in Cas’ lap and making out very fun.

It was an evening like any other: Dean was being needy and Cas happily indulged him. Dean had straddled Cas on the couch while they were watching a movie and kissed him so passionately Cas lost track of everything else around them. He probably couldn’t even tell you what movie they were watching.

They made out long and slow, really getting to know each other inside and out. Cas put his hands on the sides of Dean’s neck, thumbs caressing his jaw. Dean leaned into the touch, weirdly wishing those big hands were wrapped around his throat instead.

They kept kissing and Dean delved even deeper into Cas, they were almost devouring each other at this point. Dean was growing lightheaded with love and lust and affection… or, was that oxygen deprivation?

He pulled back panting and sucking in breath after breath. His head was spinning.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Cas looked worried but still terribly smitten by the man in his lap.

Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’. “Yeah.” He replied, breathless. “Just. Forgot you don’t breathe.” His head was still spinning and he was chuckling to himself. “Fuck. That’s hot.”

“Maybe I should go a bit easier on you.” 

“Don’t you dare.”

[+1]

Cas hadn’t been human for long and there were still things he was getting used to. Waking up was one of them. 

He hated having to get up and leave bed before 10 am and Dean found it endlessly amusing. He loved sleeping in with Cas in his arms, but he also loved getting up early to make breakfast for the both of them.

But not today. Today is a lazy morning between cases and Dean is determined to sleep in. He rolls over, still groggy from sleep, to face Cas. Only to find an empty bed.

So much for his lazy morning.

Dean reluctantly gets up, wraps himself in his robe and makes his way towards the kitchen, where he can hear someone up and about.

The kitchen is empty but for the ex-angel stood by the counter, fretting over something. He is still in his pyjamas, his hair an absolute mess, and Dean falls in love all over again.

“Cas? What are you doing up? It’s not even 8.” Cas whirls around to face his boyfriend, Dean now sees he is covered in flour.

“Dean! I was- I was making you breakfast.” He steps aside and Dean can see the counter covered in flour and sugar and who knows what else. Surprise doesn’t even begin to describe what he’s feeling. Cas however looks ashamed so, naturally, Dean goes up to him and kisses him deeply.

“Cas.” His tone is breathless and so full of love when he pulls away, he feels like he’s about to cry. No one’s made Dean breakfast in… he can’t even remember how long. The fact that it’s a former angel who absolutely should not be left alone within 10 ft of a stove is just a bonus.

Dean kisses Cas again and again until they’re both smiling like idiots. He then teaches Cas how to make pancakes properly, and they sit sharing a meal with lovestruck smiles on their faces. It almost hurts how deeply human it all is.