Chapter Text
“Bout time.”
Sam looked up at Lena with a smirk despite the late hour at L-Corp.
“Sorry Sam. I got held up with Kara going over some details of our wellness program.” Lena said calmly, hanging her purse on the hook near the desk.
“I’m pretty sure that could have been handled in about a half an hour, but I hear you ordered in.” The smirk on her face grew slightly, as though her line of questioning had a destination.
Lena wasn’t a stranger to Sam’s teasing. She’d endured it for years, especially on the few occasions where a potential love interest had come into the picture. It wouldn’t do to let Sam continue on. “I looked over the budget spreadsheets this afternoon. The board approved the ten percent increase in funding for our…”
“You like her like her, don’t you?”
Lena flailed for a moment, mouth opening and closing without sound before she could finally reply. “That’s… Do all of you just gossip about my sex life behind my back?”
“I mean, yeah, especially now that you are pining over your personal trainer so much that we all get gym memberships now.”
Lena laughed. “Those are completely separate and you know it. Besides, I assume your ban is lifted now that you are spending your weekends with Kara’s delightful sister.”
Sam’s smirk dropped. “Alex is protective of Kara. I don’t really get it. I swear she’s not so moody when you get to know her. But no changing the subject, why haven’t you asked her out?”
“For starters, we have a professional relationship.”
Sam snorted in a decidedly unladylike display. “Which never would have happened if you didn’t want to climb her like a tree. Don’t hide behind that.”
“Fine, she’s seeing someone.” Lena replied, her heart clenching at the admission. Ever since she’d found out she’d tried to wall off the part of herself that saw Kara as anything more. It had been in vain though. The flutter her heart gave it away every time Kara was near.
“Did she tell you that, cause that’s news to me, Alex was trying to get her to hook up with some chick named Lucy and she didn’t seem all about it.”
Lena’s eyes widened. The name Imra and the red heart – not Lucy - from Kara’s notification was burned in her memory. “Not Imra?”
Sam looked at Lena curiously. “You doing a background check on the poor girl and looking up her exes?”
“Certainly not. I trust Kara. I just… looked at her Instagram is all.” Lena decided it was best to not let Sam in on seeing her phone notification.
“Well, I found out for you. You are welcome by the way. She’s single, though it didn’t seem like it was an easy breakup.” Sam said as she finally glanced down to the budget spreadsheets.
Lena leaned back, deflating slightly and looking away. “I don’t know Sam. What if she doesn’t feel the same way, or isn’t ready? Even if she did, I’ve tied L-Corp to the DEO and the last thing I need is a messy affair to undo all of the good will I have with the board.”
“I swear Lena, sometimes I think you hide behind the board to have an excuse to not live your life. I see how you two look at each other. Hell, I’m taking another shot with Alex because I feel like she’s worth it. Maybe she isn’t. I don’t know yet, but what I do know is there is no point spending the rest of my life wondering. It would eat me up inside.”
Lena looked at her hands, becoming hyper aware of the single small chip on her otherwise immaculately polished nails. Did she do that? She had used it as an excuse with training and now? Maybe she was too scared of being seen as inadequate that she wasn’t letting herself just be a human being. Lex had run the Luthor name into the ground, and here she was worried about a potential scuff. “How are things going with Alex? I feel like I have barely seen you lately.”
Sam blew out a breath. “Good. I think anyway. We’re taking it a little slow. I guess she doesn’t fully trust me yet. I care about her though, probably more than I should. Like, is it too early to have her around Ruby? Sometimes she kind of shuts down about things, like she gets dodgy when I talk about L-Corp.”
Lena picked at the chip, making it worse despite every voice in her head telling her to leave it be. “Does she hate me because I’m a Luthor? Does she hate that you work for me?”
“Lena no… I mean. I don’t know. Like, with most things she’s a real pushover really. I don’t know why she’s got a bug up her ass, but I’m sure she’d love you if you guys spent time together.”
Lena scoffed, regaining herself. “I don’t see Alex Danvers as a pushover about anything.”
“Then I have some gossip for you.” Sam’s smile was back, radiating mischief. “You know James? The manager and Winn?”
“Is this how you look when you and Jess gossip about me? Do I even want to know?”
“God Lena, not the point and yes to both of those things. Anyway… Alex found out they were hooking up when they were supposed to be working. James quit outright and Alex was going to fire Winn, until Kara intervened.” Sam’s eyes were lit up as she retold the bits of the story she remembered.
Lena couldn’t help but smile back. “Sounds like Kara is the pushover, not Alex.”
“No, see that’s the point. Kara told Alex that this was essentially Winn’s coming out story whether he meant it to be or not. Alex knew immediately that she couldn’t fire someone while they are going through one of the most emotional times in their lives.”
Lena’s smile softened at the thought. She could see Kara going to bat for someone, even if they had messed up. She couldn’t say she’d do the same in her position. “Probably not the best business sense, but Kara does have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve known, present company excluded.”
“I was talking about Alex.” Sam said with a huff.
“You are insufferable.” Lena replied.
“You love me though. Don’t lie.” Sam said casually as she readjusted herself at the desk. “Anyway. As you mentioned we have a ten percent increase…”
.
If Lena hated one thing about leading a company, it was budget.
***
“You are thinking about it the wrong way Miss Lu... Lena. Don’t get me wrong, the prototype is brilliant work. The problem is the scale. This sort of change needs finesse, not brute force.”
“The whole point of this was a source of energy that had a net carbon capture.” Lena shot back at Rhea, now somewhat disillusioned by the whole conversation.
“And that energy is cost prohibitive.” Rhea replied.
Lena rested her forehead on her fingertips, trying to dispel the emerging migraine that she knew was coming. “I know. The energy is too expensive and so are the byproducts. I don’t see how finesse will change that.”
Rhea pursed her lips in a mirror image of Lillian, as though scolding a petulant child with silent judgement. It made Lena’s skin crawl at their similarities, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the son she’d spoken of lived in a similar shadow of ‘never good enough.’ “Then what do you propose?”
Rhea’s eyes glinted, hinting at a smirk that she kept from her lips. “You asked me to look at it differently, and I have. Have you considered that the energy itself could be a byproduct? What if, instead of cost prohibitive building materials, we look at carbon products that can be integrated into existing technology produced by L-Corp. Graphene, synthetic diamonds, pyrolytic carbon.”
Lena paused. L-Corp used or manufactured a suite of carbon products, including alloys and composites. It was, however, by no means the scale Lena had hoped. “I’m not discounting it, but I suppose I’d hoped to make real change. Even if we began producing all of our raw manufacturing carbon, we couldn’t even produce enough energy to run the building, let alone revolutionize clean energy production and sequestration.”
“Lena, consider it a proof of concept. You can’t change the world in a day, but you can patent it and make it yours. What the board sees now as a vanity project could very well be pivotal for L-Corp in the future. Look.” Rhea turned a tablet to Lena showing her modifications to Lena’s project. “We can utilize the energy in-house, reducing our energy based operating costs by 18%. Not to mention the marketing opportunities. You are turning atmospheric carbon into tangible products, and that alone makes the products worth a premium to bleeding heart consumers and investors alike.”
Lena scoffed, a rebuttal on the edge of her tongue at Rhea’s obvious political bias, but she kept it from spilling out of her mouth. Rhea wasn’t wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time a new process or product was invented that seemed unworkable, only to be the spearhead of a revolution years later. Still, Lena was impatient. She wanted her invention to change the world yesterday and sitting on something so pivotal seemed downright criminal. Instead of a rebuttal, she replied only with a curt, “I’ll take it under advisement.”
Rhea’s spine stiffened and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “This could still be very good for L-Corp. I wouldn’t dismiss it so quickly.”
Lena met her hardened gaze with her own, she didn’t soften, even as her words relayed the thanks that her emotions could not. “Thank you for your input. Forgive me if I seem ungrateful, I don’t intend to be. I asked for you to look at it in another light and that is exactly what you did. I would like some time to consider all avenues before I make a final decision on how to proceed though.”
Rhea didn’t seem swayed, but whatever she might have said further was aborted as a soft knock sounded on the office door.
“Yes Jess?”
Jess poked her head in timidly and her eyes darted between the two women. “I’m so sorry Miss Luthor. I hate to interrupt your meeting, but your mother is here.”
Her mother - no Lillian, was there. Unannounced.
Nothing good ever came from Lillian’s visits, and were she not a minority shareholder, Lena would have strongly considered having her blacklisted from the facility, optics be damned. The twisting sliver of anxiety that ran up her spine did little to alleviate the now throbbing pain in her head, and in seconds Lillian pushed pass Jess without so much as a sideways glance.
Rhea stood and turned to face Lillian, and all Lena could do was watch the stiff interaction.
“It’s a pleasure.” Rhea greeted, offering a hand in feigned friendship. Her voice was monotone and still. For a moment, Lena was reminded of a nature documentary she’d seen in college of a lion facing off with a starving hyena over a scrap of meat. Lillian looked at the offered hand coldly, but mechanically moved to capture it all the same with a dull smile that directly conflicted with the storm clouds raging in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” Lillian responded.
“Rhea, Dr. Rhea Dax.”
Lillian raised an eyebrow. Lena felt a moment of disgust that she’d picked up on that particular habit, no matter how effective it seemed to be in a variety of situations.
“Well… Rhea… I have cut the pleasantries short. I need to speak with my daughter. I’m sure you don’t mind. Do you?” It was amazing how Lillian could make the simplest phrase feel like a threat.
Rhea forced a smile. “Of course not. I’m on my way out anyway.” She took a few steps out of Lillian’s line of sight before looking back to Lena with a soft, almost sympathetic glance before exiting. Lena didn’t quite know what to make of the interaction, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it now.
“What do you need, mom?” The sarcastic grate was intentional. Lillian had never been a mother in anything but name and at times Lena wanted to remind her of that very fact.
“Now Lena. No need to get defensive.” Lillian sat primly in the chair opposite Lena, crossing her legs and straitening the lines of her pant suit. “I came to see how you are doing is all.”
“I highly doubt that. You didn’t even come see me when I was in the hospital for weeks after your golden boy shot me.”
“You of all people should know I was dealing with the legal fallout from both your brother’s incarceration and keeping your little incident out of the media.”
“Incident? Incident? I didn’t twist an ankle mother. He hired someone to kill me!”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that. Come now. I am not here to argue with you.”
“Why are you here then?” Lena slammed an open palm down on the desk in frustration. “Are you here because you don’t like my new initiatives? The fact I have an interview with CatCo this week? What have I done now to upset the status quo enough for you to show up after, what years?”
“I spoke to you on Christmas.” Lillian refuted.
“Only because I called you. I haven’t seen you in years.”
“And now I’m here. And no, dear, I don’t care about your little side projects, though I question your willingness to be interviewed by a fashion and gossip outlet. It seems to be a waste of your time and potential.”
Lena sighed. The fight fizzled out of her as it always did with Lillian’s emptiness. It was almost as pointless as trying to evoke a response from a marble statue, though a statue wouldn’t silently judge you for it later. “I realized I need to be more personable with the press, and besides, the questions will be vetted by the PR department ahead of time.”
Lillian scoffed. “Lex never needed to tell the world about what shoes he wore, he stood on his brilliance alone and people loved him for it.”
Lena’s resulting laugh was almost manic. “Are you kidding me? And how has that worked out for him? The company tanked after that scandal and you and I both know he likely did far worse things than what ever came to light.”
Lillian straightened, not unlike Rhea had only minutes before. “Lex’s mistakes are in the past Lena. If he hadn’t blatantly tried to defraud someone as powerful as Morgan Edge, he likely would never have seen the inside of a cell.”
“He is responsible for the deaths of god knows how many people after faking those trials.”
“And none of those people were important. You know that. That would have simply been a slap on the wrist for someone as powerful and connected as Lex.”
God. How could they be having this conversation again? The system was truly corrupt, and Lex would have bought himself right out of the hole he’d dug for himself had it not been for his vendetta with Edge. He hadn’t gone to prison for the despicable things he’d done, no. He’d gone to prison because he’d cost Edge millions.
Lena couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Why are you really here?” She demanded.
Lillian looked up to her with a glint in her eye. “I had hoped you would be willing to bury the hatchet and visit him. He was quite adamant when I saw him last.”
Lena pinched the bridge of her nose. Anger didn’t even begin to express what she was feeling now. She’d been tense the better part of the day, but now she was willing to explode, and Lillian was giving her every reason to. “Why would I ever - in my right mind - visit him?”
“He misses you, dear. You are still his sister. You two used to be so close when you were younger.”
“He should have thought about that before two assassination attempts. Would he have missed me if I really was gone?” Lena said, now almost in a whisper, she was threading the fine line between lashing or breaking down.
“Oh, the first one barely counts. Poisoning your coffee was so pedestrian.” Lillian waved her hand dismissively.
“Well, I still have the scars from the second time, the time he very nearly succeeded. I’m just now getting to where I can move my arm through a full range of motion without pain.” Lena said, rolling her shoulder almost absentmindedly. She looked at the clock and realized Lillian was going to cause her to be late to her evening session. “My personal trainer has spent a lot of time helping me with that actually.”
Lillian’s eyebrows raised; a hint of mirth played on her face. “You have a personal trainer? What is his name?”
“I’m surprised you don’t already know. I know you still have your goons watching me.”
“Humor me.” Lillian said, one side of her lip curling up in something between a smile or a snarl.
“Kara. Her name is Kara.”
***
Lena’s fingers drummed on the armrest as she stared out at the roads and intersections flashing by. The privacy divider was up, blocking her driver’s view from her current downward spiral of emotions. She was nearly twenty minutes late to her appointment thanks to Lillian’s unexpected visit, and even Kara’s chipper text that said ‘No worries! See you soon!’ did little to quell her growing anxiety.
It wasn’t just about being late.
Lex wanted to see her. Whatever he’d said to Lillian had prompted her to visit Lena when even a brush with death hadn’t. The differing weights Lillian placed on affection for her two children had always been vast, but this felt like an impassable chasm. Lillian never showed up unless she wanted something, but Lena couldn’t comprehend what she’d gained from it. That alone was terrifying.
What was also terrifying was Lex himself. A small part of her remembered Lex as he was when they were young. Did part of him hope to reconcile? Was there anything left inside her brother that was anything less than cruel? Or was this just another game? Was he trying to get in her head to taunt her one last time now that he didn’t have the reach to hurt her for real?
The car came to a stop just outside the DEO and Lena’s driver, Frank, stepped out to open the door for her as usual. She picked up her gym bag and nodded to the man as she braced herself to face Kara. Part of her considered skipping the gym entirely, but she could hardly cancel at the last minute in good conscience, knowing Kara was waiting patiently for her by the front doors.
It would be fine.
Lena would keep her composure and maybe, just maybe, the gym would even help keep her from spiraling out of control.
When was the last time Lex had even reached out? It wasn’t until her hand sat heavy on the metal handle of the front door that she remembered. He’d asked for her to visit after it came to light that she was slated to take over LuthorCorp. She’d refused, angry and overwhelmed at how her life had suffered a seismic shift almost overnight. Three days later her coffee was poisoned. Five days later she was in surgery, fighting for her life after a gunman had tried to finish the job.
She took a steadying breath and opened the door.
Kara’s face immediately lit up at her arrival. “Lena!” It was simple, open, honest.
Lena wanted to crumble right there, but her Luthor upbringing shoved her conflict deeper inside her chest. “Kara, I’m so sorry I’m late. I was held up at the office. I’ll be very quick.” She gestured at the locker rooms to indicate her need to change quickly. In truth she was happy to push past those earnest blue eyes that seemed to brighten in her presence. God, Kara was too good for this world and Lena couldn’t let her see the darkness currently blooming in her chest.
She was angry, Lillian, Lex, all of it. Even her damn prototype made her want to scream. Her hands shook as she tried to change in the locker room. The conversation with Lillian replayed in her head on a loop, interspersed with other memories from over the years which found their way into the woven tapestry of anxiety that set her teeth on edge. She was building to a crescendo and nothing was likely to stop it.
After three steadying breaths, she stepped out of the locker room. She could crumble later. Now wasn’t the time, but as Kara laid eyes on Lena a chain reaction began and Lena felt the tears welling in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hold them at bay.
“Lena?” Kara said softly as she approached, arms up as if knowing that Lena needed to fall into them. “Are you okay?”
It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of a busy public gym. Lena sank into Kara’s embrace and buried her face in her shoulder. Kara’s arms wrapped around her immediately and she felt one hand stroking her back gently in repeating lines. “I’m sorry Kara.” Lena began sobbing. She didn’t know why she’d crumbled at that moment. She couldn’t remember a time where another person’s arms felt so safe that her vulnerability could come to light until that very moment.
Lena could fall and Kara would certainly be there to catch her.
It was an astonishing revelation, muted only by the tide of emotions she already felt. Kara simply held her as she slowly recovered, giving her space to move through whatever she needed without pressuring her or pushing her away. It wasn’t how Lena was used to being treated.
“Hey.” Kara whispered as Lena’s breathing steadied. “We don’t have to train tonight if you don’t want to. It might help, but I need you to tell me what you need. We can go to my office if you want to talk, but if you don’t want to that’s okay too.”
Lena pulled back enough to wipe the tears from her eyes and immediately missed Kara’s warmth. “I don’t know what I need honestly. I just… I had a complicated day.”
Kara’s hands settled on Lena’s shoulders, keeping her grounded in the moment. “So… how do you feel about ice cream?”