Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In all my life, I’ve never seen a story as heartfelt, warm, and gut-wrenching as this…

Or, at least I think it is. I dunno, I haven't seen it yet. I know the major players of this story, however. We’ve been… let’s say “acquainted” before.

Who am I, you ask? In due time, friend. I’ll tell you who I am. For now, we’ll start this story at Peach’s castle, where Princess Peach is having a tea party with her friends . . . and Luigi is being a pansy.

Luigi stood at the entrance to the castle tea room; sighing into Princess Peach's invitation he held in his hand. He knew Daisy was going to be there. What was he going to say to her? Should he say anything to her at all? Should he avoid her? Well, he was already there, so he might as well suck it up and get his butt inside the room.

He took a deep breath and pushed open the large doors to reveal a mild and quaint tea party. Only two people were there: Mario and, of course, the princess herself, but no Daisy. He knew he was early, but not this early. Nevertheless, he walked in and greeted them with a simple smile and a gentle "Hello." 

The princess stopped mid-sip and looked toward where Luigi stood. She smiled brightly at the taller Mario brother and waved her hand inward; beckoning the green plumber to join them. "There's plenty of room! Sit wherever you'd like!" Peach beamed.

"I see that." Luigi teased as he took a seat next to Mario.

"Took your time, little brother," Mario laughed as he slapped his brother in the back playfully, "What was the hold-up?"

"Oh, nothing. I thought I was early." Luigi rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"You are. I was only playing." Mario smiled.

Peach, who sat at the head of the table on the other side of Mario, giggled at the banter. "So, where's Daisy?" She asked, "I thought you two would be coming together."

"Did Mario not tell you?" Luigi inquired.

"Tell me what?" Peach sat puzzled.

"Oh! Right, he and Daisy broke up a week ago." Mario chimed in. "Sorry I forgot to tell you, Princess."

"Really?" She paused. "I'm so sorry about that. It seemed like you two were the perfect couple."

"No, it's fine, Princess." Luigi assured, "The breakup was mutual. We just thought we'd be better off as friends."

"Ah. That's good. I'm still sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?"

Luigi shrugged, "Pretty well, I think. I've been feeling that way for a while, so it wasn't a major blow when she called it off."

" Daisy initiated the breakup?" Peach gasped in surprise. "She never insinuated at all that she wanted to break up…"

Luigi slouched in his chair. Uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. Peach noticed Luigi's change in demeanor and stopped her train of thought. "Ah! I-I'm so sorry, Luigi."

Luigi waved her off. "It's alright. Like I said: it wasn't a big blow."

Mario forced a cough to bring attention to him and, hopefully, off the awkwardness. "So! Luigi, now that you're back on the market, are there any ladies you have your eye on?"

"Don't you think it's a little early to discuss that?" Peach asked worriedly.

"He said it wasn't a big blow-"

"I don't have my eyes on any women." Luigi answered. ". . . Or men. Or anyone, really."

Silence fell on the trio.

Peach sighed and put on her most comforting smile. "You don't have to worry about that right now, Luigi." She assured the plumber, "Just take this time to focus on yourself. You'll come out a better boyfriend for that future special someone if you do."

"Yeah… thanks, Princess." Luigi grinned almost insincerely since he didn’t feel like he needed the mini-lecture. He knew he needed to take time for himself already. Daisy wasn’t his first girlfriend; she may have been the first girlfriend where, during the relationship, he realized he was attracted to more than just women since they were together for so long, but this lesson of “take time for yourself” was already taught to him the hard way during his relationship with Rosalina which started soon after the dumpster fire of a breakup between him and Pauline. . . That happened.

The group decided to change the subject since the current topic was bringing the mood down a bit. They talked about the usual, mundane topics: the weather, what’s on the news, gossip, etc., etc. While the party was in the middle of the latest juicy gossip topic: Toadette supposedly being pregnant with her “best friend” Toad’s baby -- wait, excuse me!? Gonna have to read about that later. Anyway, the other toads of the castle came in with a giant cake for the party making the princess giggle at the sight. “It seems my cooks got a little too excited for my first tea party in a while. Not everyone is here yet.” She smiled at the toads placing the cake on the table. “I appreciate having an amazing centerpiece for the rest of the guests to see as they walk in, however.” She smiled.

Like clockwork, a giant, robotic Bowser hand crashed through the castle roof with a boom and a thud; shocking the trio in the process. It smashed through the beautiful cake the toad chefs worked so long to perfect and gunned for the princess. Mario snapped out of his stunned shock for long enough to grab Princess Peach and leap out of the way of the hand. “Luigi!” Mario called out as he ran. “Distract those guys while I get the princess to safety!”

“Wha- W-Wait! Mario!” Luigi called out to his brother who was already gone. Luigi was scared. He almost always had Mario help him out with these things. Well, there were a few times when he didn’t have Mario with him, but he still wasn’t over his fear of working alone. Nevertheless, he leaped into action as the arm made another attempt to grab Peach. He ran up the thin, metal, arm of the machine; being careful to keep ahold of it as the enemy tried to shake him off. He made it to the flying ship the arm was attached to and leaped; stomping on the first minion head he saw, a koopaling. He leaped, stomped, and dodged every koopaling who came at him. The distraction was working until the green brother felt giant fingers grab the back of his overalls and yanked him into the air above the ship’s deck. The plumber flailed and kicked to try to free himself, but to no avail.

“What do we do with him!?” Lemmy Koopa yelled.

“Just fling him off the ship! Maybe he’ll get caught in a tree somewhere!” Wendy Koopa suggested.

“No!” A booming voice sounded. “If you let him go he’s just gonna get his brother and foil our plans, like always!” Luigi looked in the direction of the voice to see a large, spiked, shell and clawed hands at the helm. It was Bowser, leading the armada, as usual. “Just put him in the cage meant for Peach so we have one less plumber to worry about.”

“Ay-ay!” The eight kids sounded as they opened a cage door; the giant arm tossed the lanky brother in and the kids slammed the door shut before locking it with a comically large key.

As the enemy tried to make another attempt at kidnapping the princess with the giant hand, a cannonball, which came from the direction of the castle, hit the hull of the ship; sending it slightly back and up. Everyone lost their balance and fell backward. "What was that!?" Bowser shouted in shock.

"A cannonball, Papa!" Bowser Jr. answered as he held on to the side of the ship. "They're loading more!"

"They have cannons now!?" Bowser leaped back to his feet, more frustrated than ever. "No matter! Nothing can stop this ship!" He pointed towards the castle the way a general would as he commanded: "We will fight fire with fire! Launch the cannons!"

"Ay-ay!" The kids sounded as they headed to their positions getting ready to fire.

They fired back; directly hitting the castle. "Bull's-eye!" Bowser cheered gleefully. "Fire another cannon! I'll use the arm to grab the princess!"

"Ay-ay!" The kids readied another cannonball, but, before they could fire again, another one of the castle's cannonballs hit the hand directly as Bowser attempted to use it again; detaching it from its mechanical joints and flinging it, and the ship, to who knows where. The kids, Bowser, and a caged Luigi were sent screaming, flying, and flailing far apart in multiple different directions across the Mushroom Kingdom.

The cage hit the top of a tree. The force broke the latch. Luigi was tossed out and flung down the tree; hitting every branch along the way until the last branch caught him. Luigi doesn't know what happened next. He just remembered… black…

Chapter Text

Luigi awoke to a bunch of stomping and yelling, but not angry yelling. More like worried yelling. "Junior! Larry! Morton! Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, Ludwig! Kids! Where are you!?"

Luigi gazed in the direction of the frantic yelling to see a wide-eyed Bowser pacing back and forth rapidly on the forest floor, hyperventilating and biting his claws. "Okay, it's okay. They're resilient kids… they're fine… ab-so-lutely fine…" his attempt at reassurance fell flat as his calm demeanor turned to a fit of panicked anger. "RAH! If the scouts had just reported to me about their cannons, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Stay… quiet… he can't take his anger out on the nearest living thing if he doesn't know the living thing is there. 

Luigi held his breath and hoped Bowser wouldn't see him. The Koopa King stomped around like a child before aggressively punching a nearby tree in rage and frustration; causing a bird's nest full of eggs and a mama bird to fall and land perfectly on the king's nose. Mama wasn't happy. She fluttered and tweeted at the dragon, like she was threatening to peck his eyes out.

Welp, bye-bye, Birdy. She's most definitely getting squashed like a bug considering the king's mood.

Bowser raised a claw to the bird-

Here it comes…

Then down to the nest-

Huh? Is he gonna throw or smash the nest instead?

He gently grabbed the nest… Okay… slowly, and carefully, he lifted it from his nose… Alright… and gave the mama bird a soft gaze… as she continued to tweet in his face… Huh.

"Sorry, ma'am." Bowser smiled. "I didn't mean to disturb your home like that." He stretched his arm that held the nest back up the tree and placed it back in its rightful spot. "There. Good as new."

Mama wasn't very grateful. She gave the king a few angry pecks before Bowser shooed her off. "Yeah, yeah. Get back to your house." The mama bird flew back to her nest to rest on her eggs once again.

Weird… Luigi had never seen this side of Bowser. He was sure the brute was going to do something horrible to that poor bird, but… he was so… sweet to it.

The king looked in the direction of the tree Luigi was perched in. Crap. Did he see him? The Koopa King stomped his way to the tree. Uh oh. Turned his back towards it… Huh? Then crashed his tail to the ground; now sitting at the base of the tree. "Huhh…" Bowser sighed. "'Go back to your house.' Hmph." He grunted. "If I had just stayed in mine…" He leaned into his clawed hands, rubbing his face. "I hope the kids are okay… wherever they are…" Wait, is he - is he crying?

Luigi couldn't exactly tell what was happening from where he was in the tree, but it sounded like the big, bad, King Koopa was… whimpering… softly… This was awkward. Now Luigi couldn't move at all. If Bowser knew he had seen this fearsome king's vulnerable side… who knows what he'd do to him?

Crack. Oh no. The branch was breaking. Before Luigi could react-

SNAP!

The branch broke; sending the green plumber down toward the unsuspecting turtle dragon. He bounced off the king's nose and into his massive lap. Luigi, disoriented, looked up at the large face above him; which was staring down at him, cheeks stained with tears. He was crying.

They paused. Briefly. They stared at each other in shock before the two began to yell incoherently and Luigi frantically squirmed out of the king's lap. "I didn't see anything!" Luigi exclaimed.

"What!?" Bowser shouted.

"Please, please, please don't hurt me!" Luigi begged as he knelt in front of the dragon with his hands clasped.

Bowser stood back to his feet and growled. "Ugh!" He leaned towards the pleading Luigi and huffed at the top of his head; rustling the plumber's hat a bit. The yellow and green dragon swatted at the man without touching him and humphed. "I'm too tired for this…" The giant dragon slowly stormed off deeper into the forest, leaving the lone Mario brother to ponder to himself.

Luigi enlarged his gaze into nothing as the king continued to walk off. He darted his head in the direction Bowser stomped in. He was confused. Why didn't he do anything? He had to have known Luigi saw the whole thing. Did he not care enough, positively or negatively, about Luigi to concern himself with him? Rude, but this gave Luigi ample opportunity to run off, which is what he planned to do- until he noticed a familiar-looking sleeping caterpillar with a flower on its head was about to be stepped on by the massive king. “Wait!” He hollered, but he was a fraction of a second too late. Bowser had stepped on the immobile wiggler, smashing its flower, which awoke and sent it into a heated rage.

The wiggler, with steam billowing from its ears, ran around the king's ankles, biting at them as Bowser kicked, roared, and even breathed fire at it, but all he managed to do was set a tree on fire. When the slow goliath tried to get away, the fast bug began to crawl all over him. It bit every soft spot on the king's body. Hard. No amount of swatting or smacking fazed it. Doesn't help that Bowser missed most of his swats.

Luigi knew exactly how to get rid of that nuisance. He just needed the perfect shot. He dashed for the king in distress as he saw the wiggler was about to crawl around Bowser's legs. Wigglers are fast when they're angry, so Luigi had only a second to react. He had made it to the wiggler as it positioned itself in the optimal spot: the dragon king's ankle. Perfect. Luigi did a spin attack, a little trick he learned during a space adventure with Mario, knocking it off the frantic king and onto its back. The wiggler wiggled as it tried to get back to its feet, but Luigi couldn't let it have another chance to take its rage out on someone. He leaped onto the creature; flattening it, then watching it poof away.

Bowser stared at the plumber in shock. He whipped his head away as he crossed his arms. "Tch. I could've handled it myself. " Wow, he's just as ungrateful as that mama bird. The slow, hulking, Koopa King could've never handled that wiggler on his own.

Luigi's eyes glazed over as he humphed and placed his hands on his hips, turning his body towards the ungrateful donkey. "You're welcome." He stated sarcastically and flatly. Behind Bowser was the burning tree from before. Still very much on fire from when the king was struggling to get the wiggler off him. “You gonna do something about that?” Luigi inquired, pointing at the tree. “I’d rather not watch the forest burn down.”

Bowser shifted his gaze to the inferno behind him. Luigi could visibly see the cogs turning in the giant lizard’s head. “Huh… that’s not a bad idea, greeny.”

“Wha-? What do you mean?” The plumber asked, concerned.

“If I burn down the entire forest, I can find my kids quicker!”

“What!?”

Bowser took a deep breath as he readied himself to blow the largest string of fire he ever had in his life. He huffed and puffed and- was stopped by a skinny human holding his muzzle before he could blow. Luigi had leaped from where he stood on the ground to the big idiot’s face where he used all his strength to keep the dragon’s mouth closed. They stared each other down; Bowser, especially, stared daggers into Luigi. “Are you stupid!?” Luigi asked frantically. “Do you seriously wanna risk suffocating us to death!?”

Bowser, frustrated, pried the clingy man off his face and dangled him in the air as he continued to stare him down. “I’ll be fine!” He stated, angrily.

“I won’t!” Luigi pointed out. “Your kids probably won’t, either! Do they have the same tolerance as you!? Do they even breathe fire like you do!?” Luigi could’ve sworn he saw the king’s scowl soften a bit like his words were reaching him before his scowl came back, full force, as he roared in the Italian plumber’s face. Uh oh, did Luigi go too far? Was this it? Is Bowser gonna do something to him? If only he thought through his actions before doing them, like always. Much to Luigi’s relief, however, all the king did was drop him on the ground; making him land on his gluteus maximus.

Bowser let out a hefty groan as he rubbed his eyes, then dragged his claws down his face, slightly pulling on his lip. “You’re so annoying…”

Luigi scrunched his face up at the Koopa King. He resented that. He then noticed the burning tree fizzle out. “Huh…” He felt around on the wet grass and nearby, hydrated, trees. “It must’ve rained recently.” He got back to his feet and patted his wet overalls. "Looks like you wouldn't have been able to burn down the whole forest, anyway."

Bowser huffed as he scrolled his eyes around the area; noticing the fizzled-out tree. "Ugh! My best idea wasted! " He grunted. . . Yeah, your best idea that gets you killed.

Luigi sighed. He felt sorry for the big idiot. The big lug must have been under so much distress if he was willing to burn down an entire forest to find his kids. As much as Luigi was afraid to, he knew he had to do something to help him out. If he didn't, who knows what the lizard would do to himself or the environment? "Um… I-I don't think it's safe for you to travel alone." Luigi stated, nervously.

Bowser paused, almost like he was processing what Luigi said. He squinted at the plumber as the green brother retreated into himself. The squint looked menacing like the king was planning to bite the lanky plumber's head off, but he just simply scoffed as he stated: "I can take care of myself." He crossed his arms like a child who refuses to eat his vegetables.

Luigi cleared his throat. "You, uh… you couldn't fend off a wiggler." He stated, bluntly.

"I would've been fine!" The giant child stomped.

"That's the second time you've said that. It's starting to lose its luster."

"Do you ever shut up!?" Bowser snapped.

Okay. That's it. No more mister nice plumber. Luigi huffed as he stomped up to pouty-Mc-pouterson and stamped his foot down to the King's toes, forcing the dragon to bend over in pain and giving Luigi a perfect view of his eyes as he grabbed one of his horns to keep the royal pain in his place. "Listen, here, lizard," Luigi demanded, "I'm not going to go home by myself while I know you're out here being a danger to yourself and everything around you. So, you have two options: either let me accompany you and help you find your kids and your way home or become accustomed to me following close behind you, ready to strike when needed. . . Like a swooper in the night."

. . . Almost immediately Luigi regretted his decision of speaking down, metaphorically, to the crazy large dragon king. He was certain he was going to die this time. However, again, to Luigi's surprise, Bowser didn't lay a finger on him. The Koopa king looked more shocked -- impressed? Shockpressed than anything.

Bowser, with his horn still held hostage, smirked and scoffed at the plumber. "Okay, Greeny," he rolled his eyes, "If you're so insistent, then fine-" Bowser swatted the Italian's hand away, then stood as upright as his body would let him. Shaking the ground beneath him as he continued in the direction he was going before, he gave the green brother one warning: "Just don't get in my way."

Luigi's feet were frozen in place as he tried to process what happened. He was… going on an adventure… with King Bowser… of the Koopa Kingdom… him and his brother's long-time enemy… what has he gotten himself into?

Chapter Text

Princess Daisy and Toadette strolled along the path; enjoying a bit of small talk as they headed toward the castle. "Did you bring anything for the party?" Daisy asked.

"Yes! I brought Earl Grey tea. Peach's favorite." Toadette chuckled.

"Huh… does it, uhm, have caffeine in it?"

Toadette paused to look at her friend with confusion. "Y-Yes… why does it matter?"

"Well, you know," Daisy cleared her throat nervously, "You can't drink too much caffeine when you have a little-" Daisy gestured towards her friend's stomach, "bun in the oven."

Toadette, straight-faced, raised an eyebrow at Daisy, "Who told you I was pregnant?"

Daisy felt her hands get clammy under her gloves, "Pfft- no one!" She laughed a little louder than needed as she scanned the area for a new topic of conversation, "Oh, look! The castle is destroyed!" She beamed. Her upbeat attitude immediately crumbled as she realized what she said. "The castle is destroyed!?"

"What!?" Toadette gasped as the two girls ran up to the demolished structure, completely forgetting the previous conversation.

They pushed their way through the front doors that weren't destroyed in the Bowser attacks and began frantically searching the castle. "Hello!?" Daisy called; her eyes darting around the rubble.

"Everyone okay!?" Toadette yelled.

"Daisy? Toadette? Is that you?" A familiar, sweet, voice sounded.

"Peach!" The two guests gleefully ran to the pink princess to give her bear hugs.

"We're so glad to see you're safe!" Daisy proclaimed.

"I'm so sorry to have worried the both of you," Peach apologized needlessly as she shifted her gaze to the pink toad, "Especially you, Toadette."

Perplexed, Toadette backed away from the group hug, "Why me especially?"

"Oh, well, because you can't handle a lot of stress right now," Peach stated bluntly.

Toadette paused for an uncomfortable amount of time as she processed what the princess said. "Who's telling everyone I'm pregnant!?"

"I'm fine too!" Another voice sounded.

"Mario!" Daisy smiled. "Glad to see you're okay," The yellow and orange princess scanned the wreckage as if she was looking for something or someone. "I-Is Luigi okay?"

No one answered. Mario and Peach looked off in different directions as they attempted to avoid eye contact with Daisy. "Please tell me this was the one day he was late for something," Daisy demanded.

"I'm sorry, but… we can't," Peach confessed. "Sit down, Daisy. We have to tell you something."

-   -   -

It was almost nightfall as Luigi dragged his feet and paced behind the Koopa King, visibly regretting the decisions he made up to that point. Where did that surge of confidence even come from? No matter, he was already there, walking in Bowser’s shadow and heading off in a random direction. Does Bowser even know where he’s going? “Hey, do you know where you’re going?” Oh, well, way to say what I’m thinking, Luigi.

“Of course, I know where I’m going!” Bowser insisted . . . of course he’d say that.

“How?”

“I just do!”

Silence fell between the two as Luigi tried to think of a witty comeback, I’m sure. “So, are you and your kids psychically linked, or–?”

“Let’s call it ‘father’s intuition.’ I know where all my kids are at all times.” Yup, he’s already forgotten Luigi saw him call for his kids and cried when he couldn’t find them… or at least he’s trying to forget.

They walked a few more paces when Luigi noticed a very familiar-looking burnt tree. The plumber stopped in his tracks as he glared at this tree. “This is the tree…” He stated bluntly.

“What?” Bowser whipped his head over his shoulder to see what Luigi was talking about.

“This is the same tree you burnt earlier.”

Bowser said nothing as he glanced over to the tree Luigi referred to. Fully not willing to admit he’s lost beyond belief, he stated: “No it isn’t…” rather unconvincingly.

“Really?” Luigi crossed his arms, “So, you mean to tell me… that this tree… is a different burnt tree… that caught fire under different circumstances… at around the same time… as the other tree.” The Italian plumber said condescendingly.

“. . . Yes.”

Luigi then proceeded to do the biggest facepalm he had ever done in his life. “Just admit you don’t know where we’re going.”

“I know exactly where we’re going-”

“No, you don’t! You took us in a big circle! It's getting late! I'm tired!" On cue, the sky made a loud BOOM! as a light flashed and heavy rain began to pour on the unlikely duo. "And it's raining!"

"UGH! Nag, nag, nag! How does Mario put up with you!? All you've done is complain!"

"Well, maybe if someone just admits we're lost, I'd complain less!"

Luigi immediately gets pulled up by his overalls and is shoved into the furious face of King Koopa. "WE'RE NOT LOST!" He screamed. This is where the stubborn idiot noticed a heavenly glow in the near distance. He glanced up from the Mario brother's face to see a very inviting-looking house adorned with soothing light wood framing and white walls. "Huh… would ya look at that?"

"What?" The brother asked as he struggled to turn his head in the direction the lizard was looking. "That… wasn't there before…" Luigi pointed out.

Bowser dropped his foe's brother on his behind, then stood with his arms crossed. "You wanted shelter. Well, there it is! In all its glowing glory!" He huffed before he stomped off towards the structure.

"Wait! Bowser, this doesn't seem right! Something's off-"

"I'll tell you what's off! Your attitude! C'mon, Greeny, don't be a pansy."

Luigi was getting frustrated at that point. He brought himself back up to his feet and called out to Bowser. "I'm not being a pansy! I've encountered a house that appeared outta nowhere before and it wasn't good-"

"Lalala! Can't hear you!" Bowser proclaimed as he placed one giant hand on the doorknob. "Oh, look! I'm opening the door!" He opened the door. "I'm stepping into the house!" He stepped into the house. "Hey, nothing to it-" He was suddenly unceremoniously interrupted by the door slamming in his face. The glowing structure very eerily lifted from the ground and began to morph into something else. Something smaller. Flatter. Rectangular. A picture frame with a picture of Bowser's dumbfounded face in the center.

"Mwa ha ha!" A familiar voice laughed. "I've got you, Luigi!" King Boo faded into view with his usual big grin on his face. "You like my new trick? I thought it was perfect for-" he paused as he took a good look at the picture frame he held in his ghostly nub. "Th-This isn't Luigi…" He looked over the forest to find the little green man he hated so much. It didn’t make sense the house would trigger without Luigi being nearby. He finally noticed Luigi through the trees staring at the giant boo with fear. This infuriated the ghost ball. “What are you doing traveling with this moron!?” He screamed at Luigi as he shook the picture frame in front of his big nose. “Were you trying to trick me!? Is that it!? Figured out my plans then brought this sorry excuse for a king to replace you!? How cowardly!” Luigi knew nothing about any plan, but I assume you didn’t need to be told that. “No matter… I’ll just finish you off the old-fashioned way.” Reality broke away as the scene changed from a forest in the Mushroom Kingdom to a trippy purple void with a floating platform in the middle. Luigi stood shaking as the king floated the picture frame in front of him threateningly. “You’ll join him soon…”

Crap… without the Poltergust how is Luigi going to get out of this!? This isn’t right… this can’t happen. I refuse to let it happen! Okay, okay, maybe Luigi has a plan. Nope, he’s just staring at King Boo while the ghost readies an attack. I know Luigi wouldn’t let himself get taken easily, he’ll put up a good fight, but, DANG IT, I know there’s no way for him to get outta this… Right… I’m not supposed to do this, but- 

Luigi stared at the vacuum with shock. However, he had no time to question this luck, so he put his arms through the straps and held the nozzle in front of him. He was ready for a fight.

Chapter Text

In the castle’s dining hall, Mario and Daisy sat at the table and had a calm discussion about a possible rescue mission- “Is there a plan!?” Daisy shouted in a desperate tone . . . Right in my ear . . . Ow.

“Yes!” Mario said gleefully. “I was gonna go out there and find him myself! It should take me around… ten hours. Maybe. To find him and rescue him.” 

“Really?” The desert princess asked skeptically, “And… how do you plan on finding him?”

Mario shrugged. “Usually I just go and there’s a path leading me to where I need to be.”

“Oh… that’s reassuring.” Daisy sarcastically stated.

“It’s the best plan we got, Princess!” Mario pouted.

SLAM! The door to the dining hall crashed open and Toadette gleefully strolled in. “Okay! So-” she rolled out a hastily made chart of . . . the two princesses and different toads in the castle on the table. Weird. “Peach told Daisy and the chef toad told Peach and one of the cook toads told the chef toad and another one of the cook toads told that cook toad and the butler toad told that cook toad and a maid toad told the butler toad and a soldier toad told the maid toad and Smart Toad told the soldier toad, but I haven’t found Smart Toad yet, so I don’t know who told him , but, whoooo BOY, I’m getting to the bottom of this! I can feel it!”

Mario and Daisy stared quietly as Toadette stood frozen with her hands held triumphantly in the air and breathed heavily. “Um… Toadette, what are you talking about?” Daisy inquired; a little concerned for her friend.

“I’m getting close to whoever told everyone I’m pregnant, Daisy. Don’t you see?” Toadette answered in a rather… alarming tone. “I can feel it in my gut! Oooooh, whoever started spreading this rumor… better hope they can afford a good doctor…” She smiled creepily as she rubbed her hands together.

Feeling a little freaked out, Daisy cleared her throat and then began to roll up the chart. “Maybe you should take a break from this-”

Immediately, Toadette grabbed Daisy by the collar and shoved her face to Daisy’s. “I’LL TAKE A BREAK WHEN I’M DEAD!” They paused… as Toadette realized Daisy was genuinely afraid. “Oh…” she began, “I’m so sorry…” she backed off embarrassed, “Maybe I – should take a break…”

“. . . Yeah,” Daisy answered.

Toadette gathered her chart, then walked back towards the door. “Thank you for listening to my ramblings.” She walked out.

Mario and Daisy stared at the door in fear and confusion before Daisy turned her attention back to Mario, “So, uhm, when were you planning on leaving?” She asked, trying to change the subject.

“I was, uh… thinking now would be a good time.”

“Yeah, now is probably a good time.”

-   -   -

King Boo began his attack by slamming down his large tongue on Luigi; which Luigi dodged. The mustache man then tried to use his flashlight and suck up the king with his vacuum, but it was useless. King Boo just smacked him away.

"Do you really think that'd work on me again!?" King Boo taunted. "You're dreaming!"

As much as Luigi would hate to admit it, King Boo may have been right. He needed help. Luigi looked up at the floating picture of Bowser and sighed. "He'll have to do." He turned his attention back to King Boo and waved the Poltergust's nozzle in the air. "Hey! Bet you can't get me!"

Angered by the taunting, King Boo shot out his tongue once again towards Luigi, which Luigi dodged again, except, this time, he grabbed the tip of the round King's tongue and leaped as high as he could over the unsuspecting poltergeist and wrapped him in his taster. "That should hold him for long enough." Luigi ran to where the Bowser picture floated, then pointed the Poltergust's nozzle at it and used it to extract Bowser from the frame. Considering Bowser's size, it was a challenge pulling him from the frame. Like trying to shove a Banzai Bill through the eye of a needle. Once Bowser was fully extracted, he crashed down on the platform; making it shake like an earthquake.

Bowser, as he laid on his stomach, shot his head up in shock and terror as he tried to register what he was seeing. "What the-"

"King Boo! Fight! Help!" Luigi said hastily.

King Boo managed to release himself from his entanglement and darted his body around to where Bowser and Luigi were. He shot up into the air and attempted to squash both characters. The duo managed to dodge; Luigi jumping in one direction and Bowser retreating into his shell and spinning off in the other.

Bowser popped out of his shell and observed Luigi. The plumber dodged and weaved everything King Boo threw at him; except for maybe one or two hits. Bravely, Luigi continued to try to fight the giant boo by hopping on his head, flashing his light at him, and vacuuming him. However, as Boo said, it doesn’t work. Boo just taunted and countered with tongue whips and the like. Finally, after putting all the pieces together, which took him long enough, like, wow, Bowser cuffed his clawed hands around his mouth. “Hey! Ghost face!” King Boo wasn’t interested in the Koopa King whatsoever. He continued to engage in his fight with Luigi. Bowser took that personally. As Luigi attempted to land another attack, Bowser stomped up to the boo’s ghost butt and smacked him away, causing the ghost king to spin like a helium balloon, making the plumber unexpectedly land straight on his foot and topple over onto his face. “What’s a king gotta do to get some respect!?” Bowser said.

Once King Boo was done spinning away and shook the daze off, he came back fuming. “Respect!? For what!? Existing!? Please, a king needs to do more than just exist to get respect.”

Luigi raised an eyebrow in confusion and curiosity as he made his way back to an upright position. “Do… you guys know each other?”

Fully ignoring Luigi’s inquiry, Bowser spoke to King Boo, “I do more than just ‘exist!’”

“Oooh, my bad, you kidnap a princess every week. Wow, you do so much for your kingdom.” The boo smirked.

“I don’t kidnap her every week-”

“You serious?” King Boo laughed, “It’s an obsession at this point!”

Bowser scowled at the spirit ball.

“I find it shocking that anyone shows you respect. Even your own kids .”

This got Bowser boiling mad. He clenched his fists and jaw as he stared daggers at the floating apparition. “Don’t talk about my kids…”

“Your kids… are going to grow up… wise up… and leave you… like she did…”

That… was the last straw. A fire burned in Bowser’s belly as he readied his fire breath. He blew blue flames at the ghostly king. It was the brightest and hottest fire breath he had ever created and King Boo wasn’t ready for it. He shielded his eyes and face from the bright blue flame as he curled up in fear. Luigi took this opportunity to take the Poltergust and vacuum up the cowering king. He struggled for a bit as the boo tried to fight it, but Bowser’s constant fire stream helped a lot in keeping him vulnerable. After what seemed like an hour of constant vacuuming and fire breathing, the Italian plumber managed to fully suck up the problematic poltergeist.

This, although, didn’t stop Bowser from breathing fire. He continuously spewed flames as a stream of tears fell down his face. Unsettled by this, Luigi jogged up to King Koopa’s side and shook his arm. “Hey! Bowser! I-it’s okay! You can stop!” Bowser gradually let the flame go from its total capacity to half, then finally gone. Tears streamed from his eyes continuously as he took deep breaths. The two stood quietly as Luigi continued to rest a hand on Bowser’s arm to subconsciously attempt to soothe the beast.

“I-” Bowser finally spoke, “I didn’t – know I could do that.”

“. . . Me neither.” Luigi stated, “Are you okay?”

Before Bowser could answer, the purple void dissolved away and they found themselves back in the forest, but it looked… less pleasant and more like a forest from a classic horror story. “W-What? Is this the same forest?” Bowser wondered.

Luigi scanned over the scene and noticed a burnt, shriveled, tree around the same area where the tree from before was. Luigi sighed, “Yeah… Looks like another one of King Boo’s tricks to lull us – me into a false sense of security.”

“Oh…” Bowser cleared his throat, “Well, in that case, we better get going.” He began to walk off before he was stopped.

“Hold on! We can’t just ‘get going’ when we have no idea where we’re going.”

Bowser’s face gave Luigi a slight scowl.

Luigi rolled his eyes, “Look, we can’t just keep wandering aimlessly hoping for something to happen. We need a plan.” the green plumber groaned, “You’re a king. You gotta know of something or . . . someone that can help.”

For once in his life, Bowser paused to think, like, actually think of what could help or, in this case, who … “The Book Keeper…” He said.

“The what?” Luigi asked.

“The Book Keeper, er – the Destiny Wizard. He knows everyone’s past, present, and future. He has to know where my kids are!” Great job! This is the first good idea you’ve had all day!

“O-Oh! Wow, okay, where does he live!?” Luigi beamed.

“In a moving house!” Bowser smiled.

Luigi’s grin immediately left his face, “. . . Huh?”

“I-In a moving . . . house.”

“S-So . . . is he . . . never in the same place?”

“. . . Never.”

An awkward silence fell over the two. The one good idea they had, squandered by the cursed wizard's desire to be alone- "Wait!" Bowser yelled as he hit his forehead. "Duh! I put a tracking device on him years ago!" . . . He put a what on where? How did I not know this!?

"Really?"

"Yup!" Bowser pressed one of the spikes on his wrist bracer and a holographic screen popped up that showed a map of where he was and where the wizard was.

Luigi batted his eyes in confusion at the contraption. "You have a tracking device on a wizard, but not your eight kids?"

"I'm not gonna put trackers on my kids! What kind of father do you take me for!?" Bowser sounded genuinely insulted.

Luigi put his hands up defensively, "O-Okay."

Bowser looked back at his map and studied it. "Huh… looks like he's not that far away." He turned his body, almost robotically, in several different ways as he tried to figure out which direction to go. "This way!" He began marching, then immediately turned around, "No, this way."

"Okie dokie," the lanky brother took one step, "WAH!" he screamed as a shockwave of pain went up his leg. He keeled over and grabbed his ankle as he took a sharp breath through his teeth.

Bowser whipped his head towards the yell and raised his eyebrows, almost like he was concerned. Maybe. I dunno. "You good, Greeny?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Luigi said. "I just – I think I injured myself while I was fighting King Boo and the pain just now kicked in."

". . . You serious?" Bowser groaned, "Can ya walk!?"

"I-I think so." He took a couple of steps before falling over again in agony. "Nope. I can't…"

"UGH!" Bowser grunted.

Luigi sighed, "If this is such an inconvenience for you, then just – go on without-"

Luigi was interrupted by being yanked up by the Poltergust and roughly slung over a large, scaly, shoulder. "Shut up," Bowser ordered before he began stomping in the direction his map pointed out to him.

Batting his wide eyes, Luigi decided to make himself comfortable on the shoulder and not question Bowser's motives too much. Even with an offer given to him by Luigi, Bowser chose to take him with. Was the king planning something sinister for his long-time enemy's brother or does he have a different motive for letting him tag along and carrying him? Who knows? Oh, wait, I do.

.

.

.

I'm not telling. Have a great day, friends!

Chapter Text

Bowser had been walking in a single direction in silence for what seemed like ages, and Luigi was getting uneasy. He was always afraid of dark and dead forests. He had no idea what started the fear, but this spooky atmosphere was beginning to get to him. While still on the king’s shoulder, Luigi felt himself start to shake in anxiety as he darted his worried eyes around at every slight noise he heard. Bowser couldn’t help but notice the tiny shakes on his shoulder. “Will you stop it with the sqirmin’?” Bowser said.

Luigi stayed quiet, but he had trouble stopping his 'squirmin', which made Bowser uncomfortable, "What? Got nothin' to say?"

"No." Luigi sheepishly said.

"Ya afraid of the dark?" Bowser teased.

Luigi didn't answer. He just fixated his eyes on a spike on Bowser's shell. He was nervous Bowser would make fun of him. A grown adult being afraid of dark, spooky, forests? That's something Mario teased Luigi about for years, even after he saved the red plumber from King Boo despite his fear. He prepared himself for that signature deep laugh Bowser was known for as he said things like: 'Really!? What are ya, 5!?' and 'There's nothin' to be afraid of, pansy!'

Luigi stiffened, fully ready for the teasing- "What's in a boo's nose?" Bowser asked.

". . . What?" Luigi said in confusion.

"Boo-gers." Bowser said.

Luigi stared at the king. He struggled to process what Bowser was doing.

"What's a boo's favorite dessert?"

"W-What are you doing?"

"Ask."

"Uhh… I don't know, what?"

"I-scream."

Luigi couldn't help but snicker. Not because he found the jokes funny. He found them more dumb than anything. "These are the worst jokes I've ever heard in my life."

"They worked, didn't they!?"

"Worked!?" Luigi laughed.

"Yeah! They made ya stop squirmin'!"

That's when it clicked. Luigi noticed he hadn't thought about his anxiety. He wouldn't say he wasn't scared anymore, but he was calmer. "It works for my kids too," Bowser said.

Luigi raised his eyebrows as he adjusted himself so he was looking more at Bowser's face. "A-Are you-? Are you being nice to me?"

"N-No… I was just gettin' annoyed."

"Right…"

"Don't read too much into it, Greeny."

Luigi tried to ignore it, but he couldn't help but ponder. Was he telling the truth and it did mean nothing? Who knows at this point? (I do, but, shush.) Bowser had done a few things over these past few hours Luigi hadn't expected him to do. Seriously, what's up with him? Is he the bad guy or not!?

Luigi's gaze wandered to Bowser's holographic map as he tried to distract himself from his thoughts, and he noticed something about the small arrow indicating their direction. "We're going the wrong way," Luigi stated.

"What?"

"The arrow is pointing away from where the wizard is."

"It is?" Bowser squinted at the screen as he brought his wrist closer to his face.

A little lightbulb dinged in Luigi's head. "You're blind!"

"Alright, you're walkin'." Bowser grabbed the Poltergust, pulled Luigi off his shoulder, and dropped him to the ground.

Luigi hopped on one foot as he followed Bowser. "It all makes sense! How we're able to beat you so easily, why you stepped on that wiggler, why you didn’t see me in the tree – it's – wow!"

"Shut up!"

"Admit it! You're blind and need glasses!"

"I already have glasses!" Bowser huffed, "I just – don't wear them…"

Luigi tried to hold in a laugh as he stared at Bowser with a cheeky grin, "Oh, I need to see that."

"You'll be dead before you see it."

"I'll sneak into your castle to see it!"

"What!? That's trespassing!"

"Says the guy who breaks into Peach's castle every week!"

"I never set foot in her castle!"

"Oh, yeah, you just hide in paintings and stick metal arms inside it. Destroying the place." Luigi smirked triumphantly.

". . . You look stupid smiling like that with a broken foot."

Okay, I'm bored… DRAMATIC ENTRANCE! A giant bird claw thudded down by the two erupting them into the air. A "Caw" could be heard as the duo fell on top of each other. They looked up to see… a giant klepto with a house for a body!? Wow, what a creative and beautiful home! Right!? Am I right!? . . . Anyway. The house stomped on past the hereditary enemies, not paying them any mind. Looking at his holographic map, Bowser realized what that house was. "The wizard…" Hardly noticing Luigi was laying on his stomach in shock, Bowser shot up to his feet as fast as his huge body would let him. He ran as fast as he could, which wasn't very fast, and began tossing any rock he could find up at the beautiful house! "Hey! Magic man! Stop!"

CRACK!

Oh no. The king broke a window. "What in the universes!?" A handsome and mysterious voice sounded from the house. The house let out another "Caw!" As it stopped and rested on the ground, the front door being at a normal, boring, height from the dirt.

". . . Ah." Bowser said. He looked at Luigi with a snarky grin. "See? I got this."

Luigi rolled his eyes. "Last time I broke a window, I got scolded."

"We're fine! I'm King Bowser! He'll forgive me."

. . . Bold of you to assume that. So, with Luigi hopping back on one foot, they made their way to the front door. The klepto cawed at them as if it was angry. Without a second thought, Bowser placed a claw on the door knob. "Uh," Luigi said, "Shouldn't we knock first?"

"Pfft! I don't need to knock!" Bowser turned the knob. Or at least he would have if it wasn't locked. He attempted again, but it was useless. Over and over he tried, but the knob wouldn't budge. The more he tried, the more frustrated he got.

If Luigi's eyes could roll to the back of his head, they would have. "Stop before you break something else." He squeezed himself in between the big koopa and the door. Delicately, Luigi brought a hand to the door and knocked. And, just like that, the door flew open to reveal a huge library. It was most definitely bigger on the inside than the out. A hazy, mystical, mist seemed to permeate the air of the place. Books and glowing orbs glided across the entire place; some on a set path, others flying around happy to be off their shelf for a bit.

Floating at the bottom of all this was a magikoopa. A magikoopa who prided himself on his appearance. Unlike other magikoopas, this one wore purple and teal robes with a hat that more resembled a witch's hat than a wizard's cap. He wore his white hair in a braid and his glasses with a lens missing. His staff was silver with a bright pink gem on top that matched his eye color. This devilishly handsome creature was, in fact, the narrator of this very story you're reading! Surprised, aren't you!?

Luigi, shyly, walked into the unique library. I stared daggers at the king as he followed Luigi in. "I think it's safe to assume you are the one responsible for the hole in my window," I stated bluntly as I moved to the side to reveal the damages.

"Wha- you talkin' ta me!?" Like I'd be talking to anyone else… "Greeny, here, could've broken it!"

"Nope!" I patted the plumber's head, "Luigi's a good boy. Doesn't disrespect other people's property . . . Or boundaries."

"Huh? Boundaries?"

I reveal the little… present he left me. The tracker. "Doesn't your meathead brain ever think there's a reason why I live in a moving house?" I use my staff to zap the tracker away. "If I wanted you to find me, I would've given you a way to."

"'Meathead'!?" Bowser furiously shouted, "Is that any way to talk to your king!?"

"My king?" I laughed, "You don't even know my name!"

"Of course I do! It's Destiny–" I glared at Bowser as he struggled to spit out his words, "Book… Keepeeerr??"

"My name is 'Fred.'" I said bluntly.

"Fred?" Luigi questioned, "That's an… interesting name for a wizard. Is it, erm… short for something?"

"Frederick," I answered.

". . . Fair." Luigi smiled.

"Enough!" Bowser yelled, "I'm tired of this disrespect! As King, I demand information from you!"

Unfazed, I give this "king" a smirk, "Oh, my apologies, your highness." I said sarcastically, "But before I give you any information, I'd like you to answer a question."

Bowser rolled his eyes, "Ugh, fine." He grunted.

"What's my address?"

"What-? What kinda question is that!?"

"Answer it," I demanded.

The koopa paused like he was skeptical of my motive, but snarled and answered honestly, "You don't have one."

I smiled, devilishly, "Exactly." I laughed, "I live under no one's rules. I'm my own magikoopa!" I levitated off my spot and stared wide-eyed into Bowser's soul, "So… I don't owe you any information." I looked down towards Luigi, "Or you…" The room went dark as I levitated higher and made it storm in my library. A strong gust of wind danced around me as my eyes glowed bright, "Or anyone in this universe anything!" I raised my staff confidently as I stirred the winds and amplified my voice as I spoke, "My one dedication is to these books! And I vowed to protect the contents within! Only my eyes can see everyone's past, present, and future!" I pointed my staff at the king as I grinned, "I know what you are. I know where you're from." I rushed to the side of King Koopa's head and whispered rather loudly, "I know who your parents are." This made Bowser uneasy and seemed to pique Luigi's interest as he raised his head at that, "You… have no idea… what kind of power… I hold over you…" I revolved around his head as the storm became stronger, this time I included lightning and thunder, "If you're here to find out where mommy and daddy are, tough luck. If you're here to have some sort of self-revelation, too bad. I've. Sworn. Silence." Bowser stared blankly at the floor like he was trying to protect himself. "Awe, what's the matter? Does the scary king have nothing to say?"

He reached out a claw and grabbed my robe; stopping me in my place. He continued to look at the floor as he finally spoke, "I just… want to know… where my kids are…"

I snickered, "Awe~ is daddy missing his kiddies?"

My smile didn't falter as he pulled me to his muzzle and snarled at me, "Listen here, I'm tired of games, I just want to know… if-if they're okay… I wanna take them home."

"Hm… I'm gonna need a little more convincing than that."

His grip on my robe tightened as he clenched his teeth, "Look, I just–I need to know."

"Mmhmmm…" I grinned.

". . . Please." Bowser begged.

"Okay!" I immediately stopped the storm and turned my library back to normal. I poofed out of the turtle's grip and began browsing the shelves.

Dumbfounded, Bowser darted his eyes in my direction, "THAT'S IT!?"

"'Please' and 'thank you' are the magic words!" I beamed as I continued to browse.

"WE'RE NOT IN A KIDS' SHOW!"

“Here we go!” I found each of the king’s kids on a shelf in alphabetical order. First, I pulled out Bowser Jr.’s book and let it levitate onto my desk in the middle of my library, then Iggy, then Larry, Lemmy, and Ludwig, then Mortan, Roy, and, finally, Wendy. I followed the last book down to the desk and sat behind the mountain of books. As I looked at them one by one, I made note of where each Koopa was hiding on a piece of parchment. I caught the duo curiously trying to read some of the books, so I had to smack them away. I lifted the paper in the air, “Done!” I exclaimed.

“Finally!” Bowser reached for the paper, but I yanked it away and crumpled it up before he could grab it. Bowser gave me a confused and angry look as I tossed the wadded-up paper in the air and used my staff to set it on fire and turn it to ash. Luigi stared wide-eyed at the pile as Bowser’s mouth gaped open while his eye twitched in fury, “What. The. Fu-”

I grabbed his muzzle and put my finger over my lips in a shushing motion. We watched as the burn pile sat motionless until it sparked, popped, and sizzled into–BOOM–a beautiful, big, and detailed magical map showing where Bowser and Luigi were and where the kids were in real-time as they all moved about the kingdom. “There! Reborn from the ashes!” I happily rolled up the map for them and handed it off to…, not Bowser, who had his claw reached out, but Luigi who had been so quiet and patient the whole time. What a good little man.

“Wha- Why him!?” The king inquired.

“Simple, I trust him with a map more than you, Mister ‘Can’t See Two Inches In Front Of His Nose.’”

Luigi snorted as Bowser brought his hand in front of his nose and winced, “Oh…” the dragon grunted in frustration as he pounded his fists on my desk, “They’re my kids!”

“Yeah, and you lost them.” And I meant that in the full offense.

Bowser was taken aback by my statement. He tried, desperately, to keep an angry scowl, but I could tell my words cut deep. Luigi noticed as well, then took the king’s wrist to lead him out of my house. “Eh, th-thank you for your help, erm, Fred. But, w-we should really get going.”

Luigi began to limp toward the door before I stopped him, “Wait! One more thing,” I reached my hand into one of my desk drawers and pulled out a fanny pack, and held it out to the koopa king, “For you!” I smiled.

The koopa looked at the fanny pack, then me, then back to the fanny pack confused. “. . . What’s this?”

“An infinity pack. I got a few goodies in there for you.”

Bowser’s guard went up as he looked at my gift to him skeptically, “What kind of… ‘goodies’?”

“Don’t worry! It’s nothing sinister. Just some items I thought would help you on your trip. Some from my collection and the rest from… your castle.”

“My what!?”

I tossed the pack at the king, who caught it out of pure instinct, and I used my staff to levitate the two through the door and out of my house. I splatted them in the mud outside, then I had my house get back up from its seated position and stomp off with a “Caw!” past the muddy messes as they stared slack-jawed and bug-eyed.

“. . . What just happened?” Luigi asked.

“That-UGH!” Bowser exclaimed as he stomped up to his feet, “Why can’t I get a break around here!?”

“W-Well… we got a map,” Luigi stated as he tried to help Bowser look on the bright side.

The king swung his head towards the green brother, who was still holding the rolled-up piece of parchment. He smiled in elation as he snatched the map away, “Yes! I’m gonna finally find my kids!” He unrolled the paper and stared at the colorful, moving, images. He brought the map closer to his face. Then closer. Then a little closer. Then squinted. Then grunted and tossed it back to Luigi, “You know what? Maps are for nerds! You read it!”

Luigi smirked, “Okie dokie,” the plumber hobbled back to his feet as he tried not to let the Poltergust throw him off balance. Oh, which reminds me!

Luigi noticed the weight on his back disappeared. Perplexed, he spun around to see his vacuum gone, “. . . Wha-?”

“Hey! We gonna find my kids or what!?” Bowser asked impatiently.

Luigi snapped his attention back to the giant turtle, who was already a few steps ahead, “Right! Let’s-a go!” the lanky Mario brother ran to catch up with the lizard. It didn’t take him long to realize his ankle was healed too. Bizarre, eh? Shh! Don’t tell him!

Chapter Text

Princess Daisy found herself in the company of Princess Peach after Mario went off to find Luigi. They stood in one of the bedrooms that weren't destroyed in the Bowser attack as Daisy sighed in worried frustration, "I hope Mario knows what he's doing."

"Uhm… he-he tries his best," Peach assured.

"I know, I'm just… worried about Luigi. You know he's a sensitive guy and Bowser… well, he could eat a man alive."

"It's okay, Daisy. We don't even know if they ran into each other. Luigi might be on his way back right now."

"I know, it's just–" Daisy sighed, "He was my best friend for so many years, Peach…"

Peach looked at her cousin sympathetically. She stared at Daisy as the flower princess fidgeted with her gloves. Peach didn't want to pry, but there was a burning question she had since the conversation at her tea party. She rested a hand on Daisy's shoulder, grabbing the yellow princess's attention. "Daisy, do–do you still… love Luigi?"

"Of course," Daisy answered.

"Then… why did you break up with him?"

Daisy went silent. She looked away from the pink princess and walked away from her touch before sitting on the bed. "Because I wasn't in love with him," Daisy admitted.

Peach was puzzled. Whenever she saw them together, it was like they were head over heels for each other. “I . . . don’t understand."

Daisy sighed exasperated, “I didn’t think you would…” She settled into her spot on the bed and averted her gaze away from her curious cousin. “It’s just – you and Mario are the kingdom’s power couple. You’ve been together for forever. A lot longer than Luigi and me.” Daisy groaned, “Once you guys got together, people looked at us to become the next power couple. ‘Oh, the princess and the hero are a thing? It only makes sense for the princess’s cousin and hero’s brother to hook up!’ For years, years , I ignored the public’s whining, but… the pressure just sorta… got to me, you know? At that point, Luigi and I were friends, so I thought, ‘Hey, I like him enough, let's see if we can make this work.’ And Luigi, bless his heart, tried to make it work. Paid attention to my interests (even participated in some of them), made an effort to be romantic, and so many other wonderful things. I had even convinced myself I was in love with him because of those things, but… I realize now that… my feelings for him never went beyond… friendship." The desert princess’s tone got more frustrated as she continued, “I had strung him along, made him and everyone think we were in love, and prevented him from pursuing other dating options all because of my stupid inability to just – just be honest with myself. Th-that wasn’t fair to him, so… I broke it off.” Daisy held her face in her hands as she took deep breaths.

Peach was speechless. She had no idea her beloved cousin, someone she was close with, felt this way. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

Daisy folded her arms and let out a deep breath. “Because… I-I thought you would just talk me out of it. Tell me I was crazy for feeling that way or something.”

Peach was shocked and hurt that Daisy felt that way, but knew those feelings didn't come out of nowhere. The mushroom princess sighed as she took a spot by Daisy. "I'm so sorry if I ever did or said anything that made you think I'd never support your decisions or invalidate your feelings like that."

Daisy smiled, "Thanks, but it wasn't you who made me think that way. It's just – you know – everything else. Romance is everywhere, everyone always says things like: 'There's that perfect someone for everyone,' but – I never wanted that 'perfect someone.' I've always been happier on my own. Besides, I have supportive friends and family." She beamed, "What more could I need?"

Peach grinned, then hugged her cousin, who hugged back. "I can't think of anything better."

The two held on to each other for a bit before–

"AAAAHHHH!!!"

A scream was heard outside the door; making the cousins leap in shock.

"GET BACK HERE, SMART TOAD!" Toadette yelled.

"W-What did I do!?" Smart Toad responded in panic.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"

The princesses stared blankly at the door as they processed what they had heard. "Um… I'll… check that out." Daisy said as she got up.

"I'll come with you," Peach stated as she followed her cousin.

~     ~     ~

The two found themselves walking in silence once more, but, this time, the air was tense. Bowser had been stomping with his arms crossed and scowling at the wet ground. Luigi found this more uncomfortable than being in a dark, spooky forest. He cleared his throat before he attempted to break the tension. "Uhm, looks like Lemmy is the closest," the plumber said as he held the map up. "At this pace, we'll probably get to him in a, uh, day, I think."

Bowser didn't answer. He just continued to scowl at nothing. I suppose his interaction with me got to him. Good. Maybe that'll force the idiot to open up a bit. Doubt it, but it's nice to hope. Luigi felt suffocated by the tension. He thought about what would happen if he asked what was wrong. The lanky man already thought he knew what was up, but didn't want to assume. He knew what it was like to get your insecurities constantly poked at, and Luigi could easily see how much Bowser loved his kids, so to be reminded of his perceived failure as a parent must've been hard on him.

"Hey," Luigi began as he tried to grab the king's attention. Bowser continued to stay quiet. "We'll find them," Luigi wasn't sure if his reassurance reached the large lizard since his expression didn't budge. "Bowser, please look at me," Luigi politely demanded. Bowser gave Luigi a glance. "I, uhm, I don't like that you're quiet. I-it's weird."

Bowser snarled, "I don't like that you're telling me things I already know. It's annoying." There he is. There's that angry koopa we all know.

"I just th-thought you could use some, you know, reassurance."

"Well, save it! I'm fine!"

Luigi rubbed the back of his neck, nervously, then said under his breath, "You're obviously bothered by something…"

"What was that, mouse!?" Bowser snapped, "Speak up!"

"You're obviously bothered by something," Luigi responded.

"Really!? The great King Bowser doesn't get 'bothered!'" He lied.

"But you are–"

"Yeah!? How can you tell!?"

"Because you're yelling at me and getting defensive. " Luigi frustratingly said as calmly as he could, "If you don't want to talk about it, you can just tell me."

"Fine!" Bowser crossed his arms with a harumph, "I don't wanna talk about it!"

"Okay."

"Great!"

"Wonderful!"

" Fantastic!"

The duo went back to walking in silence as Luigi read the map. Welp, my hopes of Bowser opening up have been dashed… Luigi sighed as he watched the image of Lemmy move around on the magical map, then back to him and Bowser's images. As Luigi stared at the map and tried to distract himself from the tension, a shadow slowly crept over the spot he was looking at. He glanced up to see the source and noticed Bowser curiously eyeing the map. "Can I help you?"

"Is it really gonna take a day ta get ta Lemmy?" Oh, so he was listening.

"Uhm, I think so," Luigi answered.

Bowser grunted in frustration as he stomped. "Seriously!? That's so long! He's probably scared, hungry, or worse!" Bowser's head reeled with so many different possibilities of what 'worse' could be. He could feel himself start to hyperventilate at the thoughts.

"H-Hey! It's alright! We'll think of something!" Luigi said as he tried to reassure the frantic father. Bowser continued to breathe heavily and frantically as he snarled and grunted, unable to let out a single word. Luigi rolled up the map and put it under his arm as he turned all his attention to Bowser. "Breathe!" He demanded. Bowser didn't listen, he just clawed at his head as his panic attack got worse. "Name five things you can see!"

"What!?"

"Just do it! Trust me!"

Bowser was confused at the request, but did it anyway. He darted his head around as he looked at his surroundings. "Uhm – darkness. You. Trees. The moon. More darkness."

"Okay, I guess that works. Name four things you can touch."

"What are you doing, Greeny!?"

"Trust. Me."

"Ugh, uhm…" Bowser crashed his tail to the ground and touched it with his clawed hand. "The grass." he stroked his fingers through his hair. "My hair." he leaned back towards one of the trees and grabbed its trunk. "This dead tree." Lastly, he rubbed the strap of the fanny pack I gave him. "This… thing ."

"Good. Uhm, name three things you can hear."

Bowser listened quietly. For once. "An owl," he said as an owl hooted in the distance. He closed his eyes as he honed in on the ambient sounds of the forest. "Rushing water." Finally, Bowser rested his gaze on Luigi. "Your annoying demands."

Luigi stuck out his tongue. "This will make sense in a bit. Okay, name two things you can smell."

Bowser took a deep breath through his nose. "The smell you smell after it rains." He took another deep breath. "Mud."

"Good. This is the last thing. Name one thing you can taste."

Bowser moved his tongue around his mouth as he tried to think of the taste. "Uhm… my fire breath from earlier."

"That has a taste?"

"Yeah. It's very distinct."

"Huh…"

"The Hell was that , Greeny?"

"Oh, the 5-4-3-2-1 method. It's an exercise you can do when you're having a panic attack."

". . . Weird."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Huh?" Bowser shifted in his spot as he tilted his head to one side

"You're not panicking anymore."

Luigi was right. Bowser had calmed down. He was still worried for his kids, but his head was clearer. He could finally use the squishy meat in his head to do the thinky-think.

"What's in that fanny pack Fred gave you?" Luigi asked.

"The what?"

"The, erm, infinity pack."

Bowser looked to his claw where he still held the magical item. "Oh, right. That. "

"There might be something in there to help us get to Lemmy quicker. Mind if I look in it?"

Bowser tossed the green item to Luigi. "Knock yourself out."

Luigi took the fanny pack and unzipped it. He stuck his nose inside the bag and noticed something odd about it. "It's, uh… it's empty."

Bowser rolled his eyes like His Highness knows more than Luigi. "It's an infinity pack. All the items are probably in a different dimension." Huh, would ya look at that? He does know more. Good job.

A little embarrassed, Luigi stuck a hand inside the pack and tried to feel around for something. He felt nothing. Not even the bottom of the pack. He stuck his hand in deeper. Nothing. Deeper. And deeper, until he was armpit-deep in the pack. He rummaged around until he felt something round and hard. He took hold of it as best he could and pulled it out. It was a… crystal ball? Well, gee, why would the magnificent and handsome Destiny Wizard put a crystal ball in the pack?

The ball began to glow and levitate out of Luigi's hand. An image manifested in the center. Ah, it's my beautiful face. My image smiled as it played a pre-recorded video message. "Hey, boys! I noticed you tried to get an item. Sorry to disappoint you, but you can't use any of the items unless you need them at that moment. And, it seems to me, you aren't in need of any items currently. Sorry, not sorry, and have a nice day!" The crystal ball popped like a bubble and left the two staring off into nothing.

". . . I hate him," Bowser said. The feeling is mutual, bud.

"Right… Well, I guess that means we should get going." Luigi handed the pack back to Bowser and brought the map out.

"Ugh! A day is too long!" Bowser complained.

"Okay, here." Luigi held the map in front of Bowser. "If the river ahead is calm, we can cut our time in half by crossing it here." He pointed at the river directly ahead of them. "Instead of going to the bridge down here." He pointed at a bridge far away from where they were.

Bowser's eyes lit up. "Why didn't you say that earlier!? Let's go!" The koopa marched ahead… away from the river…

"You're going the wrong way!" Luigi called.

Bowser immediately turned on his heel and started to walk towards the river. "I knew that!" Sure ya did.

Some time passed and they made it to the river. It was not calm… It rushed and crashed into very jagged and sharp rocks. It looked like the type of place a madman would go whitewater rafting. Cheep Cheeps seemed to love it, though, as they leaped out of the water and back in. On the other side of the river were very bright and alive trees. The river must've acted as a border between the spooky forest where the boos and other ghosts lived and the rest of the kingdom.

Luigi stared wide-eyed at the dangerous river and immediately started walking towards where the bridge was on the map. "Whoa! Where ya goin', Greeny!?" Bowser asked.

"The bridge," Luigi answered honestly.

"Oh, no you don't!" Bowser reached for Luigi's overalls and snatched him back; holding the plumber over his head. "We're crossing this river and getting to Lemmy!"

Chapter Text

“NOPE!” Luigi screamed frantically. “You’re insane! This is insane!”

“Stop flipping out for a second!” Bowser demanded. “I’m holding you over my head and these waters won’t knock me down!”

“How do I know you won’t slip!?”

Bowser shrugged. “I guess you gotta trust me , Greeny,” he smirked.

“. . . Don’t do that. Don’t use my words against me, not in this situation. I could die ,” Luigi said rapidly.

"I won't slip and you won't die!" Bowser frustratingly assured. The koopa didn't wait for a response as he marched through the raging rapids. "We don't got time for this!" The water didn't affect the dragon at all as it went from his ankles to his knees until it finally reached the middle of his torso.

The cheep cheeps didn't seem to like the unwanted guest in their river as they got more active; leaping higher in the air. Several had wisped past the plumber's face, which made him even more uneasy. "I have a very bad feeling…"

"Calm down, we're already halfway across.” In a twist of fate, Bowser didn’t slip, but an extra angry cheep cheep leaped up out of the water and hit Luigi in the face; knocking him out of Bowser’s claws. Luigi crashed into the rapids and was quickly pulled downriver.

"AAAAHH!!" Luigi flailed and screamed as he struggled to remain above the water.

"Luigi!" Bowser yelled before he retreated into his shell and skipped across the river to try to catch up to the frantic plumber.

Bowser popped out of his shell as he made it to the other side of the river. He stomped as fast as his legs could carry him along the side of the river as he darted his eyes around. "Ugh! Think, Bowser, think!!" He thought about skipping across the river again while in his shell. He's much faster when he spins, but he can't see at all when he's in his shell, so he might miss Luigi altogether and they'd both be in trouble. The more he thought, the more his head hurt. He saw a log hanging off into the water ahead of where Luigi was barreling towards. "Ah! Luigi! Log!" He pointed.

Luigi, even through his panic, could hear Bowser's booming voice. It took a bit for him to process what he was saying but soon saw what the king was pointing at. Luigi, as best as he could, grabbed onto the life-saving dead tree. Bowser breathed a sigh of relief. Now, all he needed to do was grab the log, and- SNAP!- The log broke and Luigi was sent down the river again. Bowser had had enough, "OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-"

Luigi tried desperately to hold on to the log as he gasped and wheezed. His eyes were in their full open position. He was sure he was going to die. He slipped off the plant and Luigi didn't know why, but it somehow felt like he was going faster down the river.

Bowser, even with his blurry vision, could see that at the end of the river was something that would very much lead to the plumber's death. A tall, rushing, waterfall. Its height was something a koopa could survive, but not something a human could. Bowser panicked, the same kind of panic a giant turtle dad would have when his kids are in danger. He thought the opening might be just wide enough for him to squeeze his shell in and block the man from falling to his doom. It was the best idea he had at that moment, so he gave it a shot. He retreated into his shell and spun in the direction of the hazard. He skipped across the water and ahead of the green brother and, successfully, managed to wedge himself in the opening just enough to stop the human from falling.

Luigi crashed into the koopa's shell. It took him a minute to realize what had happened, but when he noticed he wasn't dead, he looked to see the king with his arms and legs still in his shell, but his head poked out. "What are ya doin' just starin'!?" Bowser asked, "Get back on land!" Ya don't gotta tell Luigi twice. He scuttled across the shell as he struggled to fight against the current. He slipped once as he tried to make it to land, but made it unscathed.

Luigi could've sworn he saw a slight smile on Bowser when he looked back. Of course, Luigi didn't have enough time to get a good look as the log from before rushed towards the koopa king and -SMACK!- hit him in his chest. The force was enough to dislodge him and send him flailing and falling down the waterfall. "Bowser!" Luigi screamed before making his way down the cliffside by the waterfall. The cliff was as rocky as the river, so Luigi had no problem traversing down it. He rushed down a little quicker than he'd feel safe doing, but his traveling companion was, most likely, hurt.

Luigi saw the giant lizard face down in the water, his limbs spread out like a starfish. He wasn't moving at all. Not even the current was pushing him like the water was shallow where he lay. "Bowser! Are you okay!?" Luigi called out worriedly.

Bowser lifted his hand from the water and gave a thumbs up. Ah, so he's just being dramatic with the whole "not moving" thing. "Do you, uh . . . Do you need a hand?" The plumber offered. Bowser put his hands into a push-up position and lifted himself as if to answer "no" to Luigi's inquiry.

The koopa king sat himself down in the shallow river and huffed. "You're gonna be the death of me, Greeny."

Luigi, in shock, started walking carefully to the turtle. "You… you saved me."

"Yeah, well…" Bowser cleared his throat, " You have the map."

". . . Right."

Speaking of the map, Luigi had no idea where they were. He brought out the map that was miraculously dry. Magic, no doubt. Wink wink, nudge nudge. He opened it to find they were some ways away from where they were originally and, just a short distance from Luigi's side was something Bowser wanted to avoid to save time. He glanced in the direction of the object and began to laugh nervously, "Oh, would you look at that? It's the bridge."

Bowser looked in the direction the plumber was looking and, sure enough, it was the dang bridge. Bowser let out the loudest grunt as he fell flat on his back, giving Luigi a huge splash. Luigi held up the map to try his best to guard himself from the water. ". . . Why does nothing go right for me?"

Luigi chose to ignore the question as he didn't think Bowser would like the answer. "Well, riding down the river instead of walking along it saved us some time, at least." He gave a half-hearted chuckle.

Bowser flicked the bill of Luigi's cap. "We got jokes now, huh?"

"It's better than your dad jokes," Luigi smirked.

"Say whatcha want, Greeny. Those are comedy gold!"

Luigi rolled his eyes. "Let's-a go. We gotta get to Lemmy."

"Lemmy!" Bowser rocked back up to his feet, the quick motion making him wince at a sudden pain in his chest.

Luigi noticed the wince and began to worry. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine!" Bowser said with a hand covering his chest.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!" Bowser insisted, the hand still obviously hiding something.

"Lemme see," Luigi demanded.

"No!"

"Lemme see!" Luigi leaped up and grabbed the dragon's big claw and forcibly pulled at it.

"Agh! Hey!!" Bowser spun and yelled as he tried to fight off the plumber. He grabbed the back of Luigi's overalls and attempted to pull him off. He succeeded. He held Luigi in the air as he laughed triumphantly, "I win!" But, in his elation, he absentmindedly removed his other hand from his chest. With Luigi's new perspective, he could see exactly what Bowser was hiding.

"Your shell is cracked!" Luigi yelled.

". . . No it isn't." Bowser lied as he covered his injury up with his free hand.

"Lemme help you. I know how to fix it."

"What? No way you do!"

"I do! Put me down, I wanna see if Fred has given us supplies for it."

Bowser dropped Luigi into the water and snarled, "We don't have time to 'fix it'! We gotta get to Lemmy!"

"How would your kids feel if their dad died of an infection?"

"Psh, I'll be fine-"

"Nope!" Luigi grabbed Bowser's claw and began to drag him to the light side of the river, "There's always time to take care of yourself. Sit down."

Bowser was reluctant and annoyed but complied and sat in the lush, soft, grass with a loud THUD. Luigi held out his hand; expecting Bowser to give him the infinity pack. The lizard dropped it in the skinny man's hand. Luigi stuck his hand in the opening and rummaged around. Sure enough, everything you need to fix a turtle shell was inside. Disinfectant, wire, tools, fiberglass, and glue. Along with towels and rags to dry off the king before applying the disinfectant and fiberglass.

"Wha-? He put this in the pack, but nothing to make me get to my kids quicker!?" Yeah. Cry about it.

Luigi took a towel and began to pat the injured area dry. "Let me know if I'm being too rough."

"Mm." Bowser glared.

Luigi continued to pat and rub the area as dry as he could before moving on to the disinfectant. "Now, this may sting a little bit."

"Hmph. Like I'd mind a bit of a sting–AGH!!" Bowser screamed as he physically recoiled away from Luigi's touch. "What is that!?"

". . . Disinfectant?"

"That's freaking LAVA!"

"A-Aren't… you immune to lava?"

"Oh, my bad! Hey, aren't you immune to salt!? Lemme just pour that in an OPEN WOUND!"

"Okay, okay! Point taken." Luigi snickered, "Wow, you're a baby when you're in pain."

"I'm not in pain! I was just– surprised. "

"Mmhm," Luigi smiled, "So, you don't mind if I keep applying the disinfectant?"

Bowser's eyes darted from the disinfectant to Luigi and then back to the disinfectant. Hesitantly, Bowser scooted back to his spot and let Luigi continue his application. Bowser winced as he tried his best not to let it show that it bothered him. Luigi noticed but didn't say anything. "Have you never gotten your shell repaired before?"

"Kamek usually just magics any cracks away."

"Ah. Too bad he's not here." Luigi finished his application and moved on to the tools to help him thread the wire through Bowser's thick shell.

"H- How do you know how to fix koopa shells?"

"Uhm… back in Brooklyn, I wanted to be a vet. So, while I worked as a plumber with Mario, I went to a veterinarian school. I specialized in exotic pets, like lizards and turtles."

"Huh… there are turtles in your world too?"

"Yeah, except they're a lot smaller and don't talk."

"Ugh. Boring."

"Well, turtles in my world don't kidnap princesses and threaten both mine and my brother's lives on a near-daily basis, so I'm more inclined to say that 'boring' is better," Luigi smirked.

"Ouch, Greeny! Now you're just hurting my pride!"

"For being honest?" Luigi shrugged, "I'll take it." Luigi finished threading the wire through the koopa's shell, then moved on to gluing the fiberglass over the top. "Erm–by the way, thanks, you know… for saving me… even if it was just because I had the map."

". . . U-Uhm–It-it's no big deal."

"But it is." Luigi protested, "You could've just let me die and retrieved the map from my corpse, but you didn't… You–You actually made an effort to make sure I didn’t die, and-and that means a lot to me."

"W-Well, when I give someone my word, I keep it."

"Huh?"

"I didn't slip and you didn't die."

Luigi paused as he processed what Bowser said, then he smiled, then he snickered, and the snicker gradually transitioned into a full belly laugh, "Y-You're right!" Luigi continued to laugh as he tried to catch his breath.

Bowser looked at Luigi puzzled before gradually starting to laugh with, "W-What's so funny!?"

“I-It's nothing! I-It's just-" Luigi took a few breaths to try to calm himself down, "I-I never pegged you as someone to keep your word to someone you hate. "

"I don't hate you." Bowser admitted, "I never really liked you either, but I don't hate you."

"O-Oh…?"

"Yeah. It's hard to hate someone who's just trying to walk in their big brother's shoes."

"Jesus, way to hurt my pride now!"

"An eye for an eye, Greeny!"

Luigi stuck out his tongue at the cheeky dragon. He finished gluing the fiberglass and leaned back as he sighed at his work. "Okay, first layer done. We just gotta wait for the glue to dry."

"'First layer'!?" Bowser said wide-eyed, "How many layers of this stuff you gonna put!?"

"Quite a few."

"UGH! Can you speed it up!?"

Luigi shook his head, "The glue won't harden properly if I tried to speed it up."

"Seriously!? We're wasting so much time!"

"Okay, how about this: we'll start walking as we wait for the glue to dry. We just can't get it wet and we have to attempt to not get any dirt on it. Then, once that layer dries, we'll stop and I'll put the second layer on. And we'll repeat the process until all the layers are on."

"Uh-Wh-Uhm… Sure. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good."

Luigi smiled. Happy to know Bowser is becoming less argumentative for argumentative sake–HOLD ON! I just realized, did Bowser call Luigi "Luigi" earlier!?

Chapter Text

"TELL ME NOW, SMART TOAD!" Toadette screamed as Princess Daisy was holding her back.

"I dunno what you're talking about!" Smart Toad cried as he cowered behind Princess Peach.

"YES, YOU DO, LIAR!!" The crazy look in Toadette's eyes got more wild as she wiggled in Daisy's grip.

"Let it go, Toadette!!" Daisy demanded.

"Yes, Toadette, this has gone too far!" Peach agreed.

"I KNOW HE KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Toadette insisted, "THE MAID TOLD ME EVERYTHING, SMARTIE PANTS!"

Smart Toad began to shake as his grip on Peach's dress grew tighter.

"WHO TOLD YOU!?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS!" Smart Toad admitted.

The girls paused as all their gazes switched to the cowering blue toad, "Pardon?" Peach asked.

"You don't know who now?" Daisy's eyes shifted between everyone in the room.

"H-He was wearing a cloak."

Peach got out from in front of Smart Toad and looked at him quizzically.

"A-And… he gave me this." Smart Toad reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a black-and-white photo.

Peach gingerly plucked the photo from the toad's hand and inspected it closer. "I-It's… a sonogram?" She squinted at the image to try to make out what the sonogram was of. "O-Of…" Peach's eyes widened as she realized what she was seeing.

Impatiently, Daisy snatched the photo from Peach's hand as she dropped Toadette, who landed on the floor with a yelp. "A… toad baby!?"

The princesses' stares darted to the pink toad, who was rubbing her rump as she tried to soothe herself from being dropped earlier. "W-What?" Toadette asked as she noticed her friends looking at her funny.

"Is this yours?" Daisy asked as she showed Toadette the sonogram.

Toadette froze. She stared, blank-faced, at the photo held in front of her. She swallowed hard as she contemplated what to say. "W-Well, it's hard to say. So many pregnant toads are getting sonograms every day."

"'Hard to say?'" Daisy repeated, "How could it be 'hard to say'? You've been rampaging around this castle as if the rumor wasn't true and you wanted to get to the bottom of who started it. So, it should be an easy question to answer."

Whoops. Looks like Toadette had been caught. She knew that too but was not ready to confirm or deny anything yet as she darted her eyes between her friends and some blue toad she had very nearly assaulted earlier. The princesses and Smart Toad stared at Toadette as they waited in anticipation for an answer. She sighed as she gave up keeping this secret, "Yes. That's my baby in the sonogram."

Everyone blinked rapidly at Toadette as they tried to process what they just heard. "Excuse me?" Peach said.

"The rumors are true," Toadette grunted, "I'm pregnant."

"H-How far?" Daisy asked.

"Ten weeks."

". . . Does, uhm, does Toad know?" Peach knelt in front of Toadette.

"Of course he knows, he's my best friend."

" Just friends?" Daisy sassed as she placed her hands on her hips.

Toadette was confused, "What are you implying?"

Daisy glared at Toadette as she raised an eyebrow as if to tell Toadette she knew precisely what she was implying.

Toadette rolled her eyes, "Toad's not the father! We really are, honestly, just friends."

The princesses were taken aback. They had never really seen their friend hang out with any other guys. Peach had to ask, "Well, who's the father?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Dunno why we wouldn't," Daisy said.

"Seriously, it's wild. Even for me."

"Toadette," Peach placed a hand on Toadette's shoulder, "we're your friends. You can tell us anything." She smiled.

Toadette took a deep breath, "Okay… well… you see… the father is-"

~     ~     ~

Luigi had glued the last layer of fiberglass over Bowser's wound. It was late and they were still a long walk away from Lemmy. Luigi and Bowser were visibly exhausted. Bowser especially since he was the one who got a big crack in his chest and had been worrying the most about his kids. Bowser stumbled to his feet as Luigi gave the infinity pack back to him. "Okay, time to move." He said as he nearly fell over.

"Whoa, hey! Bowser!" Luigi grabbed onto one of Bowser's fingers as he attempted to keep him balanced, "It's been a long day, and we're still hours away from Lemmy. It might be a good time to rest."

"How can I rest?" Bowser asked honestly, "My kids-"

"They'll be fine. You said it yourself: they're resilient."

"Yeah, but they're still kids. My kids-"

"Exactly! They're your kids! If anyone's kids are going to be okay on their own, it's going to be the kids of the ruthless, tyrannical, King Bowser of the Koopa Kingdom!"

Bowser was speechless, it almost sounded like Luigi complimented him. It didn't matter, though. Bowser's tired brain was bringing all his insecurities to the forefront of his thoughts. "I just-" Bowser huffed. Wait… is this it?? Is this what I was waiting for!? Is Bowser gonna open up!? And all that needed to happen was him getting into such a state of unrest that he just doesn't care anymore!? "It's my fault they're lost right now." YES! He's doing it! Having an actual, real , conversation!

Bowser crashed his tail to the ground with a defeated grunt, "They are my responsibility, and I–I failed them. I'm a bad father."

Luigi, still holding onto Bowser's claw, peered at the king's dead-looking stare into nothing. "You're a better father than mine was." Bowser's stare shifted to the green plumber, "W-Well, father figure ."

"How?"

"Uh, erm, because–you made a mistake and, rather than blaming someone else, you're trying to rectify it by trying to get to your kids as fast as possible and taking them home," Luigi chuckled nervously, "Our foster dad would've just blamed someone or something else and never apologize."

"Foster dad?"

"Yeah. Mario and I were taken away from our parents at a young age and were sent to a foster family with a lot of other kids." Luigi said, "He often blamed the fact he was fostering so many kids on why he would be so cruel to us sometimes."

Bowser was puzzled, "That's a crap excuse."

"Yup."

The duo was quiet. Neither of them knew how to continue the conversation. Until Bowser noticed a certain skinny human was still holding his finger. “Ahem,” Bowser lifted his claw in the air with Luigi’s hand seemingly glued onto it.

Embarrassed, Luigi immediately yanked his hand away and held his arms up in a surrendering position, “Ah! Sorry!” He shot his hands into his pockets and backed up a little bit from Bowser, refusing to make eye contact.

"You're, uh… you're a touchy person."

"Oh…" Luigi cleared his throat, "You noticed?"

"Hard not to."

"Sorry…" Luigi said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You apologize a lot too."

"Uh… sorry…"

Bowser flicked the bill of Luigi's cap. "Stop that," he demanded, "Why you so apologetic all of a sudden?"

'All of a sudden?' Luigi thought. He'd always been very apologetic to everyone around him. Like he wanted to be in everyone's good graces and make himself more agreeable. But, the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wasn't as apologetic with Bowser like he didn't care what Bowser thought. He was definitely afraid of him, but it wasn't like he was looking for approval.

Luigi shrugged in response to Bowser, "I've always been apologetic with everyone."

"Not with me. Not since we started this thing." Yes~ open up more you tired word-vomiting lizard! "I like that side of you." >:3

Luigi was stunned. Nobody ever complimented that side of him before. When he tried to speak up against anyone, he'd get punished. Mario was always the braver one of the two, hell, it was because of Mario that they could get out of their foster father's home. Yet, here Bowser was rewarding that side of him by being almost… kind.

Bowser stumbled back to his feet and attempted to walk in Lemmy's direction before a tiny man's hand grabbed his tail, quickly stopping him. "Don't think you can distract me by being nice. You still need to rest."

"B-But… Lemmy-"

"Will be happy to see you no matter how long you take to get to him." Luigi smiled, "There's always time to take care of yourself. And your kids will thank you for it. I know it's hard because you feel guilty, but pushing yourself until you collapse isn't gonna help anyone."

Bowser rolled his eyes, "I'm-"

"Fine-" They both said simultaneously.

"Yes, I know." Luigi sighed, "I say that a lot too. It's almost never true."

Bowser blinked rapidly at the plumber. He grunted, annoyed. C'mon, you're only annoyed because you know he's right. "What's Lemmy doing right now?"

Luigi picked up the map and squinted at the image of Lemmy. Even though the moon was full and bright, Luigi was having trouble seeing anything. "It's too dark. I can't see." Luigi snickered, "Now I know what it's like to be you."

"Hey!" Bowser scowled. "I can see just fine-"

Luigi's silent stare and slow blinks spoke volumes.

". . . Okay, even I didn't believe that."

Luigi gave a sarcastic smile as he nodded. "Oh, maybe Fred packed your glasses!"

Bowser released a huff through his nose, "Still not gonna catch me dead in my glasses, Greeny."

"Awe, please?" Luigi begged with a pleading face.

"I have eight kids, you think that's gonna work on me!?" Bowser laughed.

"No," Luigi stated before leaping for the infinity pack.

"Hey!" Bowser yelled as he attempted to get the scrawny plumber off him. He snagged his claws at Luigi's clothing as Luigi held onto the infinity pack with a death grip. Bowser pulled and prodded until he managed to toss Luigi away… infinity pack in hand.

"I win!" Luigi exclaimed as he held the pack proudly over his head. He quickly stuck a hand in, attempting to find the koopa's glasses.

"C'mon, Greeny! How do you know they're in there!? Or that we ' need' them right now!?"

"I don't." Luigi snickered, "But I'm hoping."

Bowser stomped over to Luigi and grabbed onto the pack in an attempt to reclaim it, but Luigi still held on tight, “Why you gotta see me in my glasses anyway?”

“I just wanna,” Luigi jerked the pack back, throwing the already struggling-to-stand tired turtle off balance and down towards the Mario brother.

Bowser managed to catch himself before he crushed the human under his weight. It didn’t take the two long to realize their faces were mere inches from each other. Luigi, especially, was nervous being that close to Bowser’s face. They were stunned silent, unable to register fully what had just happened. Their wide-eyed stares lasted a little longer than what anyone would consider normal in this situation. As the tension between them got more and more awkward, Luigi remembered his hand was still in the infinity pack. He rummaged around for something, anything that could distract them from this. He dug until he managed to feel something soft and fluffy. He pulled it out to see a big, comfy, pillow. Luigi smiled as he shoved the pillow in Bowser’s face, “See? Even Fred is telling you to sleep!” He laughed timidly.

Bowser smacked the pillow away with… is that a smirk? Was he enjoying being teased by Luigi!? Bowser sat back with a huff as Luigi sat up as well. “I know that scent…” Bowser said, “That little troublemaker took my pillow from my castle!”

Curiosity took Luigi over as he dug through the pouch. There’s no way someone as smart and thorough as Fred could’ve only packed a single pillow for the two of them, right? Of course not! Luigi pulled out another pillow that looked exactly like the other one. “Looks like he took two pillows from your castle.” Yeah, I may be a destiny wizard, but I’m not gonna force these two into uncomfortable situations just to speed up the process.

“‘Two?’” Bowser looked at the pillow Luigi held in his hands.

A twinge of what Luigi assumed to be guilt washed over the king’s face. Why would Bowser feel guilty about a pillow? Luigi figured he must’ve been reading him wrong and continued to rummage through the pouch. He found firewood, blankets, and a large open-front tent. Wait, only one tent? Huh, guess I am the type to put them in uncomfortable situations to speed up the process. Silly me. <3

Luigi gazed at the items before him and sighed. He put the firewood in a pyramid shape and looked over to Bowser, "Hey, mind lighting these up? I'd like to see what I'm doing when putting up the tent."

"Only one tent?"

Luigi shrugged, "That's all I could find."

“. . . I’m not sharing a tent with you.” Like Hell, you’re not! 

“Then, where am I supposed to sleep?”

“The dirt.”

“Wha–That’s not fair!”

“That’s life, Greeny!” Bowser said frankly before blowing fire at the pyramid of logs, sending them ablaze.

Luigi grunted at the thought of sleeping in the dirt before gathering the tent up and attempting to set it up. Emphasis on “attempting.” The tent was so large it was hard to control. As soon as he got it up it seemed to always want to fall and succeeded at times. After a while of watching this sad display, Bowser finally got to his feet and stomped over to the struggling plumber, practically taking over the job of putting up the tent. “Just as I thought,” Bowser said, “This tent is mine too.”

“You have a tent?” Luigi asked in a slightly surprised tone. He couldn’t see someone like Bowser having any camping equipment.

“Yeah. My kids and I go camping all the time.” Oh, that’s such a dad thing to do.

Luigi couldn’t help but gawk at Bowser. The large koopa was a good father and Luigi couldn’t help but find that side of him… cute. Wait, was Luigi really thinking that!? He thought to himself that he had to clear his head of those thoughts! I mean, this was his brother’s long-time enemy he was thinking this way about! He felt it would be a betrayal to his big brother if he started to like him, so he forced himself to clear his head by shaking and smacking himself, catching the attention of Bowser who was staring at him with a confused expression. “You good, Greeny?”

“FINE! Fine! I’m fine!” Luigi insisted as he gave a half-hearted, anxious, smile.

Bowser raised an eyebrow, “O–kaaaayy…” He finished setting up the tent and piled all the blankets and pillows inside, creating a cushy setup… for himself. He snuggled himself inside the tent and sighed as he got ready to go to sleep. “Night.”

“Uh–Seriously!?” Luigi dashed to Bowser’s side and attempted to push him, “Move over! I’m not sleeping in the dirt!”

Bowser grabbed Luigi’s head, effortlessly picked him up, and dropped him outside the tent. “Yeah, you are.”

No, he’s not.

Luigi looked toward Bowser, almost like he was begging him with his eyes to huddle under the tent. Bowser didn’t budge.

“You know you’re not gonna hear the end of it if I get rained on all night.” Luigi pointed out.

Bowser snarled. He knew Luigi wasn’t bluffing. Defeated, Bowser rolled to his side, leaving a space open behind him. He snapped in Luigi’s direction and then pointed at the empty space behind him.

Luigi ran to the spot before snuggling under one of the blankets and making himself comfortable on the big, plush, pillow. Bowser’s blankets and pillow were some of the most comfortable he had felt in his entire life. He couldn’t help but fall asleep instantly.

Chapter Text

Peach was sitting in the rubble of the castle, shocked at Toadette's confession. Daisy and Toadette were a short distance away discussing the matter.

"W-Why him!?" Daisy asked, more perplexed than ever.

"I told you it was wild," Toadette said.

"Okay, but, like… HIM!?"  

"I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"You didn't mean to fall into bed with him!?"

". . . Okay, that part was on purpose."

Smart Toad, who was still awkwardly standing by, scanned the room, unsure of what to do, "Sooo… can I go?"

"YES." Daisy snapped, making Smart Toad run away in fear.

Peach was stunned silent. She held her hands to her mouth in a prayer position and stared like a deer in headlights straight ahead into nothing as she softly sang to herself, "It's time to jump up in the air… jump up, don't be scared… jump up and your cares will soar away…"

"Great! Ya broke Peach!" Daisy grunted, "How do you feel!?"

"I dunno what you want me to say!" Toadette said, "Bad!? I dunno! He was just–ugh–I dunno, he was just–sweet!"

". . . Sweet?" Daisy asked, confused.

"Yeah! He was very sweet to me…"

". . . He's a con artist."

"That doesn't make him not sweet!"

"It absolutely does make him 'not sweet!'"

"Girls!" Peach shouted as she came out of her shock. Daisy and Toadette went silent as they watched Peach gracefully rise from her spot and walk over to the two. Peach turned her attention to Toadette and sighed, "Alright, Toadette, we don't understand. We may never understand, but… if he makes you happy… we'll support you."

"We will?"

Peach punched Daisy in the arm, prompting a soft, "Ow!" Out of Daisy. "Of course we will!" Peach insisted, "This is Toadette's life and we have no authority over it."

Toadette sighed in relief, "Thanks, Peach. I'm glad you said that" She cleared her throat before making another confession, "because I invited him to girls' night next week."

~     ~     ~

Well, golly, I'd love to let you lovely readers know what our main characters are doing right now, but they're just sleeping. Seriously, what do you want from me? Bowser and Luigi slept in proximity to each other and snored. Bowser's usual loud snoring that could wake an entire army being dampened by the outside noises.

Boring. Who wants to read about that!? No, instead, we're going to read about the time Luigi went to the gym with Daisy. Trust me, it's much more interesting than this. Anyone opposed? No!? No. Good.

Luigi stood in the hot desert sun in front of a gym door. Daisy had gotten super serious about working out and Luigi wanted to try it so he could get similar hobbies with his girlfriend. Daisy tapped Luigi with her elbow and smiled when Luigi turned his attention to her, "Ready, babe?"

Luigi nodded. Daisy noticed he was nervous, so she gently put a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, if you have any trouble with any machines, you can always ask me."

"Thanks, but… it's not that…" Luigi pointed to his gym bag, "I've… never changed in front of other men before…"

"Oh, psh!" Daisy swiped at him playfully, "Most people keep to themselves in the locker room. I don't think anyone would even look in your direction unless you're standing in front of 'em."

"Right…"

"Just keep your head down and pretend the voices you're hearing are from the radio or something."

"I'll, uh… I'll t-try."

Daisy held her arms open, "Would a hug help?"

Luigi nodded. They embraced as Daisy held tight, giving him a hefty pat on the back, "Who's the big brave boss!?"

"Me." Luigi snickered.

Daisy shook him in her arms. "Who's the big brave boss!?"

"Me!" Luigi laughed.

Daisy ended their embrace and beamed at her boyfriend, holding him out at arm's length, "That's right, babe!" The princess grabbed Luigi's hand and triumphantly marched to the door and opened it, dragging Luigi behind her, "Let's tackle this gym head-on like the boss-ass-bitches we are!"

"Oh, my gosh, Daisy!" Luigi laughed almost embarrassedly, but he found this brash, loud, side of Daisy endearing, so he let it go.

They marched up to the receptionist, a pokey who had a bunch of papers stuck to her spikes was bouncing in her place with the typical pokey smile, "Ah! Daisy! Daisy the princess! Yes-yes, hello!" She greeted.

"Hey, Carmen!" Daisy reached into her pocket and pulled out her and Luigi's membership cards. Luigi had asked her earlier to hold his card for him because he felt nervous approaching someone as energetic as Carmen was on the phone when he signed up.

Carmen gasped, "Two-two-two!?"

"Yeah. Mine and Luigi's." Daisy gestured to Luigi who was standing behind her. Luigi waved shyly.

"Oh! Yes-yes, of course! The royal boy-boy-boyfriend!" Carmen slammed her head on the desk and rolled around in excitement, "Love-love- love meeting you!"

Luigi gave the pokey a nervous smile, "Y-Yes, nice to meet you too."

Carmen shot up straight and bounced in place once again with even more papers stuck to her spikes, "Yes-yes-yes! Lockers to your right-right-right!"

Luigi looked to his right and saw two doors. One with a sign saying, "Women's Lockers" and the other door with a sign saying, "Men's Lockers."

Luigi gulped. Daisy gave her boyfriend a reassuring pat on the back as she smiled at him. "If you're too uncomfortable, you can just go home. I won't get offended."

"No-no! I wanna. I'm fine, don't worry." Luigi grinned.

Daisy shrugged, "If you're sure-"

"I'm sure!"

"'Kay." Daisy gave Luigi another pat before going into the women's locker room.

Luigi stood in front of the doors for a while longer before taking a deep breath and giving a hefty sigh. "I can do this…"

"Handsome- handsome men come in and out all day-day-day!" Carmen chimed in. It was as if she was trying to… entice him?

"Oh, uh… thanks? B-But I'm not into men."

"Huh? Oh, big- big apologies! Your quirky overalls gave me bi-bi-bi vibes!"

". . . Right.” Luigi turned his attention back to the locker room doors. He inhaled, held his breath for a few seconds, then exhaled. He already told Daisy he was fine, so he had to march forward, his eyes tightly shut, and pushed open the door to the men’s locker room. He opened his eyes to find… exactly what Daisy described: a bunch of men minding their own business, not looking at each other.

Luigi scanned the room as quickly as he could to find an open locker. It seemed most of the lockers were locked tight with their own, unique, locks. He did manage to spot an unlocked one, however. Luigi honed in on said locker and did his best to ignore the half-naked men around him. He made it to the locker with no incident and took a sigh of relief. He reached for the latch of the locker and lifted it as he pulled it open to reveal . . . someone's . . . stuff?

"Excuse me," a deep voice from behind the plumber said, "that's my locker."

Luigi turned to see a tall, jacked , doogan, who seemed to have just finished his workout, peering down at him. Uh-oh, what's he gonna do? Pummel Luigi into the concrete floor? Stuff him into a locker? Or worse . . . yell at him?

Luigi frantically backed away from the locker, his hands up in surrender. "I-I-I'm so sorry! I-It was a mistake!"

"Eh," the doogan said nonchalantly, "it's my fault, really. I forgot my lock at home today." The doogan walked up to his locker, not paying Luigi any mind.

Luigi was confused. The last doogan he met was at Rogueport and he was a mean-looking thug. But, this doogan seemed chill. "I… I really am sorry."

"Seriously, it's okay." The doogan smiled. He then began to strip off his sweaty clothes, not seeming to mind whether Luigi was watching. His abs glistened with his perspiration in the fluorescent lights of the locker room and Luigi caught himself staring for . . . a wee bit too long. Embarrassed, Luigi put up a hand between him and the doogan as he went on a hunt for another locker.

.     .     .

Luigi left the locker room, with his exercise clothes on, to find Daisy waiting outside ready for a workout. "Hey! What took ya so long, Weeg??" Daisy teased.

"S-Sorry. I, uh, had a little trouble finding a locker."

"No worries, dude! Finding an open locker can be hard sometimes."

Speaking of hard, Luigi felt something akin to a stone statue bump the back of his head, "Ah! Sorry, I had no idea someone was standing here." . . . That voice. It was the same deep voice Luigi heard earlier. Luigi stood silent, blushing red from embarrassment as he glanced behind himself to see exactly who he expected to see. The doogan. This time, he was wearing clean clothes and smelling of lavender soap. The doogan was smiling down at Luigi, "Oh, hello again!" The doogan greeted Luigi. Luigi did a shy wave.

"Hey!" Daisy greeted the doogan excitedly.

"Daisy!" The doogan beamed, "What's up, girl!?"

"Nothin' much. Just introducing my boyfriend to the world of sweat and aching muscles!"

The doogan chuckled, "Yeah? Where is he?"

Daisy pointed to the nervous wreck standing in front of the doogan.

The doogan looked down at the Mario brother and gasped, " You're Luigi!?" Luigi nodded rapidly. "Dang, dude!" The doogan held out a hand, "Hi! I'm Kevin!"

Luigi cautiously held out a hand to Kevin's before the doogan grabbed it and shook it, "Ch-Charmed," Luigi said in a small, squeaky, voice.

"Hey, if you decide to come here when Dais isn't around, I'd be happy to be your workout buddy."

"Okay," Luigi responded in the same small, squeaky, voice.

"Anyways, I gotta go. Got a big day planned!" Kevin walked off as he waved goodbye at Daisy and Luigi, "See ya, Dais! And nice meetin' ya, Luigi!" Daisy and Luigi waved back as he walked out the front doors.

Daisy looked at Luigi who was still stunned silent with a wide-eyed expression. "Diiiiid something happen?"

"W-What do you mean?" Luigi asked in his small, squeaky, voice.

Daisy raised an eyebrow as if to say he knew exactly what she meant.

Luigi gave a defeated sigh, "Well, you see–" he then explained what happened in the locker room. Maaaybe leaving out the fact he kinda saw Kevin without his shirt on.

". . . Huh." Daisy responded.

" Please don't be mad at me!"

"Well, Kevin isn't mad, so I'm not mad."

" That's what I'm nervous about…"

"Ah," Daisy gave Luigi a reassuring smile, "Don't worry about Kevin. He's known as 'the nicest guy on the planet™' around here. Like, legit nice. Not the kinda 'nice' some people are when they want something from you."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, he'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it."

An unholy, indescribable, noise left Luigi's throat as he imagined Kevin removing his shirt again.

"Woah! What was that!? Are you okay!?"

Luigi cleared his throat, "Mmhm," he nodded, his face redder than before.

"Do . . . Do you think he's attractive? "

Luigi was quiet as he thought about it for a bit. He didn't know how to answer, but he figured he should. "I–I dunno about that , but… well, I have one more thing to admit…"

Daisy listened intently, not showing any sign of being upset or anything.

"I, uh–I saw, er, maybe more like… watched him remove his shirt, and now I have this feeling in my stomach that won't go away."

"I see . . . Good news! That's most people's reaction when they see Kevin without his shirt on for the first time!"

Luigi wasn't sure how "good" that news was. "Have, uh… have you seen him without his shirt on?"

"Eh–maybe once."

"Did you get the same feeling in your stomach?"

"Meh, not really. I'm not into muscular men," Daisy put an arm around Luigi's shoulders, "I like 'em scrawny," she smirked.

Luigi laughed, "I'm not that skinny, am I?"

"Kinda. Why? Do you not like being skinny?" Daisy snickered.

"I . . . think I'm fine with my weight."

"Well, we are in a gym. If you decide you're not fine with it, we can fix that!" Daisy grabbed Luigi by the hand and began to drag him to the first machine, "We'll get a good workout in and then we'll discuss your new feelings at home," she smiled.

Luigi nodded, "Okie dokie."

Carmen grinned at the two as they walked past her. Having heard the entire conversation, she bounced and whispered to herself, "It ain't no lie… he's bi-bi-bi~"

Chapter Text

Morning came, finally , and Bowser was the first to arise. Everything at the camp was drenched from the rain the night before. “Looks like I don't have to drown the coals,” Bowser whispered to himself. He looked to his side to see Luigi, asleep peacefully wrapped in his blankets. The way Luigi cocooned himself in Bowser's plush blanket made him look… kinda cute.

Bowser shook his head as he got out of the tent. Impatient as ever, he didn't want to wait for Luigi to wake up on his own. So, after many other attempts to wake him, aside from true love's kiss, he did what any sane person would do, and used a bucket he found in the infinity pack and filled it full of cold lake water, and dumped it on the peacefully sleeping Luigi, which caused him to jolt awake with a yelp.

"You sleep like a rock," Bowser said bluntly.

"Well, excuse me , your highness!" Luigi said sarcastically, "It's not my fault your pillows and blankets are the plushest, most soft things I've ever slept on in my life. Can I borrow them?"

"No," Bowser grabbed at the blanket and pillow and pulled them out of Luigi's grip, stuffing them back into the infinity pack. "In fact, you're forbidden from ever touching them again."

“Rude,” Luigi pouted, then he glanced at one of the tent’s rods holding it up. His eyes returned to Bowser, who was slightly distracted as he packed the camp. A devilish smirk came across Luigi's face. “I'm stealing this rod.”

“Huh?” Bowser turned his attention to Luigi.

Luigi, the little scamp, yoinked the rod out from the ground and ran off. “No more camping for you!”

“Hey!” Bowser stomped after Luigi, “Get back here! I need that!”

“Gotta catch me first, slowpoke!” Luigi triple-jumped away from Bowser - dodging and weaving through trees as he did.

Bowser huffed as he tried to keep up. “C’mon! This isn't funny! We need to pack!”

Being careful to not head too far away from the camp, Luigi kept running and leaping. As he made a lot of distance between himself and Bowser, he scanned the forest for the tallest tree he could find and leaped to the top. Triumphantly, he sat on a branch with the tent rod resting on his lap and a grin firmly on his face.

Bowser slowed down to catch his breath. Hoping the little thief was nearby, he looked around the forest. “Greeny!?”

“Up here!” Luigi called.

Frustrated, Browser darted his head around. “Up where!?”

“Here!”

Squinting in the general direction he thought he heard Luigi - Bowser called out to what he thought was Luigi waving at him. “Wha- get down from there!”

Luigi snorted. “That's a leaf!”

Bowser flipped his head to the real direction Luigi was in, and saw the real Luigi waving. “. . . Seriously, get down from there.”

“Hmm… maaayybee… only if you'll wear your glasses.”

“You're still on that!?”

“You thought a leaf was me!”

“You're really high up and you're wearing green!”

“I'm wearing more blue than green, so that excuse doesn't work!”

Wholly unimpressed and unwilling to endure more of this game, Bowser punched the trunk of the tree. The vibrations shook Luigi off of his branch. Unwilling to stop his game, Luigi managed to catch himself on another branch.

“Hah! You're gonna have to do better than that!” Luigi teased.

Bowser grasped the tree trunk firmly with his claws and began shaking the tree. Luigi wasn't as lucky and fell down the tree - screaming. The rod slipped from his fingers as he fell and slammed on multiple other branches on the way down. Bowser held out an arm as he caught the rod in his hand. He held out his other arm and caught Luigi’s collar with his free hand. A snarky grin graced Bowser's face as he held Luigi up to his muzzle. “I win,” he said.

A raspberry left Luigi's lips - not caring that it was the tyrannical King Koopa he was spitting in the face of.

Bowser laughed as he dropped Luigi on his rump. “Your antics are… something else, Greeny.”

“. . . Did you just laugh?” Luigi smirked.

Embarrassment washed over Bowser as his eyes widened in realization. “. . . No,” he lied.

“You did!” Luigi leaped to his feet, “You laughed! You like my ‘antics!’”

“We gotta pack!” Bowser yelled as he stomped off.

Luigi snickered. “Okie dokie, big guy.”

—

They packed the camp in comfortable silence. Bowser put the last of the camp in the infinity pack as Luigi opened the map. “Looks like we're gonna be able to get to Lemmy in just a few short hours.”

“Good,” Bowser grunted as he closed the pack, “Feels like we've been on this adventure for a year and three months at this point.”

“. . . That's oddly specific.”

“You're oddly specific,” Great comeback, Bowser.

Luigi gave an apathetic shrug as he began walking in Lemmy’s direction. Bowser followed shortly behind. “Our journey should be easy. No mountains, rivers, or anything to impede us, really,” Luigi smiled.

“Freaking finally,” Bowser huffed, “I'm tired of running into boos, rivers, and wizards… especially wizards.” Well, screw you too, you royal pain.

“I'm looking forward to a quiet stroll,” Luigi admitted, “I love taking morning walks back at home.”

Confused, Bowser raised an eyebrow, “Wouldn't it be hard to take quiet walks outside the mushroom castle? Ya know, with the busy town and all.”

Luigi raised his eyebrow in his confusion, “I, uh, I don't live in the castle.”

“. . . Ya don't?”

Luigi shook his head ‘no.’

“Huh . . . I thought you did.”

Luigi shrugged, “Mario does. I have my own house out in the country. It's a nice little place. Professor E. Gadd built it for me after I helped him with his ghost studies.”

“Mario lives in the castle, but not you?”

Luigi nodded, “I mean, him and Peach have been going steady for a while, so it only makes sense for him to move in.”

“MARIO AND PEACH ARE TOGETHER!?”

Surprised, Luigi stared at Bowser, “You didn't know?”

“NO, I DIDN'T KNOW!”

“Hm… they've been together for so long, I just assumed everyone knew.”

“Bu-how-wha-di-” Bowser frantically stammered like an idiot as he tried to make sense of the information, “How can someone as elegant and beautiful as Peach go for a short nuisance like Mario!?”

“. . . Well, for one, he did save her from you multiple times,” Luigi stated, slightly annoyed, “Shocking how she doesn't like guys who kidnap her every week.”

“Okay, it's not ‘every week,’” Bowser snarled, “and I only kidnap her so often because I need a mother for my kids!” AND THE LAST SHOE DROPS, LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND OTHERS!

Luigi was stunned, he didn't know how to respond, “I–really!?” Out of pure perplexity, Luigi had to stop walking and turn his entire body to Bowser, “Why does it have to be Peach!?”

Bowser stopped as well, “What do you mean!?”

“Why would you pick a woman who has never shown interest in you as the mother of your children!?” Luigi asked in genuine sincerity.

Bowser didn't answer, he just stared daggers at Luigi.

“You have to know that's a little screwed up. You have to know she doesn't like you one bit,” Luigi sighed, “You're not stupid…”

Softening his stare, Bowser looked away like he was almost ashamed… almost, “. . . I do know…”

“. . . Then . . . Why her?”

Bowser crossed his arms, “. . . I don't wanna talk about it.”

“. . . Okay,” Luigi went back to following the map to Lemmy. Bowser moped behind.

They stayed silent for a good two hours. Tension grew as they continued to walk. A quiet walk was usually welcomed by Luigi, but the silence, in that instance, was deafening. Bowser being somber was a state Luigi wasn't used to seeing. Should he say something? Maybe talk about his kids? He seemed to always beam when his kids were brought up-

“Ahhhhh!!!” A random scream sounded from the forest.

Bowser's ears perked up as the scream sounded very familiar to him. “Lemmy!?” Bowser marched right past Luigi as he pushed away the brush and small trees in his way. He looked into a clearing to see one of his youngest kids, Lemmy, plopped on the grass bawling his eyes out. “Lemmy!” Bowser called as he ran for his son.

Momentarily, Lemmy stopped crying as he heard his dad. “Papa!?” He looked to where he heard Bowser's voice and saw his dad marching up to him through his blurry, teary vision. With his arms outstretched, Lemmy shot up and ran for Bowser. “Paaaapaaa!” Lemmy leaped into Bowser's arms as he began to cry again.

“Hey, hey! It's okay. You don't gotta cry,” Bowser assured Lemmy as he held him, “You're safe now.”

Luigi peered through the brush as he witnessed the scene. Bowser looked so relieved to see Lemmy safe.

“Papa, I–” Lemmy sniffled, “I–” he rubbed his snotty nose on Bowser's shell, “I l-lost my s-scepter!”

“Oh,” Bowser snickered, “Is that why you're crying!?”

Lemmy nodded frantically as he continued to bawl.

Bowser laughed, “It's all good, kid-o. We'll get you a new one.”

“P-Promise!?” Lemmy rubbed his tear-filled eyes.

“I promise,” Bowser smiled.

As his crying began to cease, Lemmy gave Bowser the biggest hug he could muster with his tiny arms.

Bowser hugged back, “I'm glad you're okay.”

Luigi's heart melted as he witnessed this heartwarming reunion. Bowser was a good dad, and seeing the way he held and talked to Lemmy only solidified that fact in Luigi's mind.

As Lemmy began to back off from his hug, he noticed Luigi standing on the edge of the clearing. Gasping in total surprise - Lemmy pointed in Luigi's direction. “ENEMY SPOTTED!” He screamed as he flipped out of Bowser's arms. Landing on the grass, he dashed for Luigi and leaped into the air - intending to stomp on Luigi’s head.

Luigi braced himself. Lemmy laughed as he flew through the air before his shell was grabbed by someone much bigger than him. “Stand down, soldier,” Bowser said, “Greeny and me have a temporary truce while we're searching for you kids.”

“Awe, really?” Lemmy asked, disappointed.

“Afraid so,” Bowser grinned apologetically as he put Lemmy down on the ground.

Lemmy crossed his arms as he pouted angrily.

Luigi snorted. It was his first time seeing one of the Koopalings as… just a regular kid rather than an enemy he had to beat. Kneeling to Lemmy's height, Luigi energetically smiled, “Hey, I'll let you be the first one to beat me up as soon as the truce is over.”

Beaming from ear to ear, Lemmy looked at Luigi with sparkling child-like excitement in his eyes. “For real!?”

“Mm-hm!” Luigi nodded with a sincere grin.

“YES!” Lemmy cheered, “I'm gonna beat up a Mario brother!”

Chuckling, Luigi stood back up. Bowser looked at Luigi like he was impressed. Maybe. I'm not sure anymore.

“Uh,” Bowser cleared his throat, “So, erm, who's next?”

Luigi retrieved the map from… I dunno where. “Huh, looks like Wendy and Iggy found each other and are close,” Iggy’s and Wendy's icons began to move towards Bowser's, Luigi's, and Lemmy’s icons on the map, “Wow, they're real close… and getting closer…” in fact, they were coming towards them at breakneck speed. Odd… was my map broken? Pfft! Surely NOT! My magic is FLAWLESS! Luigi lifted his head from the map and looked in the direction he saw Wendy and Iggy. He noticed a faint glow in the distance. The sunset? No, it was too early in the day for that. He noticed the glow getting bigger as he heard faint yelling in the distance. Once he realized what was coming towards them, his eyes shot wide open. “Duck!” Luigi yelled as he took cover.

“Quack!” Lemmy said before he was pulled to the ground by Luigi.

A Bullet Bill with Iggy and Wendy on its back flew right over Luigi and Lemmy's heads. Like a Chargin’ Chuck playing football, Bowser caught his flying kids. The force of the Bullet Bill pushed Bowser back as he locked his feet in place - trying to stop the thing. The bullet eventually ran out of fuel and fell to the ground with a sputter. Wendy and Iggy looked up to see what stopped them.

“Well,” Bowser laughed, “That's one way to make an entrance.”

Iggy and Wendy beamed.

“Dad!” Iggy yelled as he hopped off the bullet.

“Daddy!” Wendy said as she joined Iggy.

Bowser knelt with his arms open, inviting his two kids for a group hug.

Three kids in one day? Huh… not too shabby.