Chapter Text
“I like your hair!”
You look up from the pavement and try to find the source of the sound. Standing on the side of the road is a girl with loose hair nearly as long as yours. In the sunset-lit street, it looks almost pink, but it’s hard to tell. She’s wearing a pair of brown cargo pants and a white collared shirt with a red collar and cuffs. Her smile is probably brighter than her hair, and definitely brighter than the late sun. You reward it with a Jinx patented ‘leave me alone’ glare.
“The color suits you.” Somehow she manages to add a second smile to her first. You don’t respond. It’s way too early to be able to deal with people. Or too late. Whatever.
“I’m Seraphine. What’s your name?”
“Uhh…” you try to think of something clever to respond with. Something you can laugh at and then walk away, something to get this girl to leave you alone. You come up with “My name’s Jinx.”
Fuck.
Something about her smile makes you feel weird. Like your throat is itchy. When you return your gaze to the pavement, she - Seraphine - responds with double the cheer, “I like that name, Jinx!” You risk a glance back up at her smile. “Hmm,” she puts a finger on her chin like she’s a cartoon character thinking. “Does it mean anything?”
“Sure does.” Finally you stop glaring. You force your lips into a cruel smile and look Seraphine straight in the eyes. “Stands for Jinx.”
Something in that gets her to laugh. A real laugh that softens your smile. One you can see in her eyes and feel in your bones. “Alright, Jinx,” she stands up straighter as if trying to reach your height, “and if you must know, my name means Seraphine.” She giggles again and takes half a step back, falling back into a performance she must have thought through a hundred times. “Do you want to hear some music, maybe?” Okay, I guess she’s kinda cute. Wait no, that’s dumb. She’s just some weird stranger. Idiot.
She continues. “Um, I’m going to be performing in just a few minutes in there.” She points to the building you two are standing next to, “if you wanted to watch? I’d appreciate it!” She talks too fast, as if she could hide her nerves behind her ability to enunciate.
Your silence manages to surprise her more than it does you. She flashes a practiced smile, then looks down at your boots. “Yeah, I guess,” you manage out.
“Really?” She’s back to staring you down. “That’s great!” She takes a few steps backwards. “Well, I have to finish getting ready. I’ll see you inside?”
You tilt your head a little bit. “Sure thing, Pinkie.” Something about her smile sticks with you. She looks so happy to talk to you. Maybe that’s why you can’t stop smiling.
The building that would apparently be hosting the weird - definitely not cute - girl you met, turns out to be a small diner with live music. Lights too bright and an atmosphere too dim. A stage in the corner looks over a handful of people still having a late dinner. You order a lemonade and sit down as far away from everyone else as you can. When it arrives, you dump another sugar packet into it. After all, if it doesn’t burn your throat, it’s not sweet enough.
It doesn’t take very long until Seraphine climbs the stage holding a violin. In the bright light, you can see that her hair actually is a bright pink. Of course she would have pink hair. Seraphine scans the whole eight person crowd, and smiles at you, before lifting her instrument. You just lean back in your chair, never setting down your drink and wondering when to leave. Seraphine closes her eyes,
Inhales,
And starts playing.
You didn’t know that anybody could make a violin sound the way she did. With only a handful of slow notes, the pink haired girl grabs your emotions and yanks them wherever she wants to go. She slowly floats around the stage as she plays. A serene face carried by a stained set of working boots that tap out the rhythm. Another deep exhale. An inhale through the nose. Seraphine finally opens her eyes as she starts to sing. You couldn’t have repeated a word back to her if she paid you, but for a moment your mind forgets everything but her voice. Delicate and careful, but also firm. Each syllable precise and meaningful. You close your eyes and for a blissful minute lose yourself in Seraphine’s music. Then it’s over. Bright lights, polite clapping, a practiced smile to a tiny crowd. You notice your foot jittering against the floor and your hands rubbing the sides of your pants. You try to stop one of them but can’t decide which.
Before your mind feels entirely yours again, Seraphine approaches where you’re sitting with a drink of her own. “Jinx! Could I join you?” She asks, her face lit up with excitement. You respond with an exaggerated curtsy in your seat. “So! What did you think? Did I do well?” She looks at you with wide eyes, then flushes and turns to look down at her drink.
You scoff a little bit. “Yeah, I guess it was alright,” you lie, looking at her hair. She returns to looking you in the eyes, so you briefly return the favor before your burning cheeks force you to return to your almost empty glass.
“You think so?”
“Yeah. It just needed more explosions.” This gets her to laugh for a moment. “Seriously though, I loved it.” Seraphine smiles to herself long enough for you to notice something about her drink. “Are you drinking coffee?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s like eight o’clock. You do not need more energy.”
“I like it!” With this the girl raises her hands as if to protect herself from your assault.
“Whatever you say, Songbird.” You laugh and down the last of your drink. “Do you perform like this often?" This is the first time you’ve seen her smile get smaller. “I’ve been trying to. Recently.” She sips at her coffee instead of continuing.
You lean back in your chair. “Everybody’s gotta have a passion, I guess.”
Seraphine’s smile comes back but it’s softer, somehow. Quieter. She doesn’t look at you when she says, “I just feel like… I could make people’s lives better. Happier.”
It feels like someone poured cold water inside your skull. You smile and lean forward in an attempt to convince your brain that this is okay. “Well, Sera-Bera, I think you’re definitely hanging out with the wrong girl for that.” You notice your hands shaking but can’t seem to stop it.
Suddenly, Seraphine is as bubbly as ever. “I’m sure you can’t be that bad!” Her smile is unbearable. “Also, ‘Sera-Bera?’ That is easily your worst nickname yet.”
Calm down. Calm down. You’re being unreasonable.
“Hey, you try to come up with good nicknames on the spot.”
Seraphine does something with her face. Your eyes won’t focus. “Hm…” she thinks for a moment. “Blueberry!” A pitiful laugh comes up your throat.
“Oh, and that’s so much better?” you say. Need to get away. Run. Hide. Now. “Listen, Cherry Blossom…” This gets a chuckle out of the pink haired girl that somewhat cuts through your haze. “...It's been nice talking to ‘ya, but I’ve gotta run. Busy tonight.”
You stand up to leave. Seraphine stops you. She pulls a pen out of her pants pocket. Stop being so slow. Shut up. Let me go. She writes something on a napkin and then gives it to you. You walk away with a lazy salute as a farewell. You don’t look at the napkin until after you’ve left the building and run half the way back to your dorm. It’s a phone number.
Oh.
You got a girl’s number.
Stop thinking about her, idiot. There’s no point. She’ll just hate you like everybody else. It will be better for both of you if you leave her alone.
Two days after you met Seraphine, after she gave you her number, you’re lying on your bed, staring at the roof, and hating yourself. You can’t stop thinking about the pink haired girl. Her smile is burned into your eyes. You hear her perform in your dreams. All you wanted was to forget about her. She’s too nice. You’d only ruin her. Maybe you’re being irrational. Maybe not.
“Aaaaahhh!” you explain to the ceiling. It doesn’t reply. “She’s so annoying.” Maybe you should at least turn on the lights. You couldn’t remember how long you had been lying in the dark. Maybe the ceiling makes a good point after all.
“Fine,” you tell it, “but I promise we’ll regret this.” You roll over and halfway fall off your bed. Standing makes you feel worthless, but so does lying down. You find the napkin that you had hidden from yourself two nights ago. Suddenly you feel like you shouldn’t even touch it. Don’t deserve it. You’re a jinx. You don’t know how long passes with you just staring at it. Finally, you put the number into your phone. Minutes later, you send a text.
Jinx: hey
Seraphine: Who is this?
Oh, fuck you. You can’t do this. You sink back into bed and wait for it to swallow you. Unfortunately, the bed leaves you perfectly alive. The ceiling just keeps staring at you without reacting. Ughh. Fine. You look at your phone again.
Seraphine: Hello?
Jinx: yo its jinxie
Seraphine: Jinx! Hi!
Seraphine: I was worried I might have given you the wrong number, haha
Jinx: nope
Jinx: you're still stuck with me
Jinx: what've you been up to?
Seraphine: Oh well yesterday I spent like all day on this performing project for a music class I’m in. Something about it I just can’t get.
Seraphine: Today I’ve pretty much just tried to catch up on homework
Seraphine: What about you?
Jinx: sounds like you've been way more productive than me lol
Jinx: I really haven't been doing much
Seraphine: Do you want to do something? I’m free for the rest of the day
Jinx: lmao okay
Jinx: I could try to help you with your project?
Jinx: not that I know a single thing about music
Jinx: actually nevermind probably lmao
Seraphine: Actually I think that might be really helpful!
Seraphine: You could give me a different perspective on it
Seraphine: If you want to of course!