Chapter Text
The day started off like all the rest. Hot, humid, and tingling with the strange electricity that was native only to Gravity Falls. It was a day almost exactly like the last. Almost.
For Dipper Pines, there was not a moment of this day to be wasted. Tucking his trusty journal into the inner pocket of his blue vest, he zipped up his shorts and took the stairs two at a time, tripping on the way down.
“Dipdop! Where do you think you’re going?”
The younger twin rolled his eyes at the sound of his sister’s voice. “I’m going to go and explore, Mabel,” he said, shoving a piece of bread in his mouth and trying to wrestle with his shoes at the same time. “There was this page on some kind of god dwelling in the heart of the forest and I was thinking-,”
Mabel grabbed his shoulder and gasped dramatically. “Dipper! You know that you don’t mess with the gods!” Her voice lowered and she looked around as if an entity would come and smite them to the ground. “The gods mess with you!”
Laughing, Dipper brushed off his older twins hand and grabbed a handful of pens off of the small table next to the front door and pulled his faded pine tree cap onto his head. “Please, Mabel. The gods are old by now, and it's true that there’s something about this town that draws them here, but it traps them. I’m totally safe.”
Mabel scrunched her face up, one hand reaching out to grab a glass of Mabel juice and the other playing with her wild curls. “Trap them? How?” Eagerly, Dipper pulled out the worn, dog eared journal and opened it up.
“See- it’s kind of like wasps and honey. The wasps are attracted to the honey, and they land in it, but once they do, they-,”
“Get stuck… and suffocate,” Mabel finished slowly. Dipper grinned and nodded. “Exactly! And you know me, Mabel, I’ve encountered everything from kelpies to wendigo to the Multibear! Plus, all the gods have to be dead by now.”
The older twin sighed, and Dipper knew that he had convinced his sister. “Alright, Brobro. Just… be careful. I wish I could come with you, but…”
Dipper nodded. “Pacifica’s taking you out on a date today, isn’t she?” Mabel blushed and ducked her head bashfully. “Yeah…”
“Ugh, you’re such a dork.”
“Hey! Says the one who still carries that old book around and plays in the forest even though he’s seventeen and-“
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Dipper waved his hand at his sister, opening the door and relishing the muggy air that flooded into the house. He looked at his left wrist. “It’s nine. I’ll be back before midnight.”
“Bye, Brobro! Awkward twin hug?” She asked, opening her arms.
“Awkward twin hug.”
They stayed like that for a moment, arms wrapped around each other, until Mabel pulled away with a look of disgust. “Ick, what have you been rolling in?”
Dipper gave his twin a playful shove. “Have fun on your daaaate, sis.”
“Bye, Dippingsauce!” Mabel chirped over her shoulder as she ran towards the stairs, face a blazing shade of red.
Chuckling, Dipper closed the front door behind him and headed into the woods.
Dipper felt more alive in the woods. He always had. There was something about the titanic trees and the strange forest residents that stirred something deep in his bones, making him feel as though his senses were heightened. As he opened the journal yet again and began to follow the path he had taken yesterday, he thought back to his conversation with Mabel.
“…Plus, all the gods have to be dead by now.”
Guilt stirred in the pit of his stomach as he remembered his words to his twin. He hated lying. He always had. But what he had found yesterday was something that Mabel could never see.
He had found a god.
Ferns brushed dew across his face as he stepped off of the well-trodden path and onto a barely visible one. The deeper he walked through the forest, the more the light seemed to fade and the colder it got.
Sooner than he expected, the light dimmed almost completely, and Dipper swore he could hear his own heartbeat beating as something rustled in the bushes to his right. “It better be coming up soon…” He muttered nervously, pulling out his flashlight and pointing it at the trail ahead of him. Pointing the yellow at the book in his hands, he matched the image in the book to the one ahead of him. “Shit, this doesn’t look anything thing like from yester- oh.”
His beam had caught a flicker of blue.
Swallowing thickly, the teen crept towards the blue aura, pulse racing. It was here. It had to be. He recognized everything now- the clearing, the massive, gnarled oak tree- the man nailed to it. Holding his breath, he paused behind a tree, gathering his courage. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sure, everyone had seen gods before-but no one had ever spoken to them, out of fear of death.
Dipper could not waste this chance. Now, if only he could make his body move…
“Hey, kid.”
The brunet let loose an ear shattering scream, the noise amplified off of the trees. “Oh my god!”
How had he been spotted? The damn god was nailed to a tree! He couldn’t have seen him! A smooth chuckle floated from the large tree. Dipper could only see part of the gods arm from this angle, so how could he possibly-?
“On the contrary, kid. I may not be able to see you, but I can still See you. Not as well as I used to, of course-,” his voice slipped into a flat growl, his arm tensing. “-but I can still See you well enough.”
When the teen remained silent, the god sighed, dragging it out obnoxiously. “Seriously, kid, I’ve been nailed to this goddamn tree for two thousand years. I doubt that I’m going to magically escape now.” Cautiously, Dipper crept around the tree and entity, giving it a wide berth. Pulling his flashlight back out of his vest, he turned it on and pointed it at the god. Dipper gasped at the same time as the god did, though for different reasons.
The god hissed, squinting his eyes at the bright light. “Geez, could you point that somewhere else? I haven’t seen sunlight in centuries, you fool!”
Dipper blinked clowly before fumbling with the flashlight, pointing it at the dark moist soil at the god’s feet. “Uh… yeah. Sorry.” He was still trying to get over how human this god looked. He was taller than the average human, six or seven feet perhaps, but besides that he looked like he could be a normal person- besides the triangular eye-patch, of course.
He was also, uh, very…
“Pretty? Yeah, I got that a lot before I got stuck here.” The god said nonchalantly, rattling the glowing blue chains on his feet. There were none on his hands as they were nailed to the tree itself by plain iron nails. There was no blood, but golden ichor stained the bark, making it shimmer in the semi-darkness.
Dipper blushed, turning his head away. “Shut up.” He muttered, before clapping his hands over his mouth. Oh man, he was dead. He was so dead. He was-
Not dead. The brunette blinked in confusion as the god began to laugh, in surprisingly high and smooth tone. “You are something else, kid! I think I like you-,” The gods glowing yellow eye illuminated upon the other's hat. “-Pine Tree!”
Dipper sputtered, stepping forward. “Excuse me?”
The god laughed again. “Pine Tree! I like it! Oh, how rude of me,” he said, lips turning up into a smirk, “The name’s Bill. Bill Cipher. I’d give you a hand, but- you know.” He chuckled, glancing down at his pinned hands.
“B-Bill? Bill Cipher? You- you’re-,” Dipper squeaked, his throat going dry. Bill Cipher was one of the most powerful and notorious gods to ever exist. All children had heard the tales of how this god would massacre entire cities in a single night, not to mention all the other terrible crimes and atrocities he had committed.
“Yes, yes I’ve killed people, lots of people, and kissed pretty much everything from goats to old women. But-,” the god said seriously. “If you knew the things I knew… well, you’d lose your marbles too!”
Dipper winced. “Why… are you telling me this?”
Bill peered down at him, eye smoldering. “Because you’re special. I’ve never Seen any mortal like you. Your aura… your mind is something utterly unique.”
Dipper felt the flattery oozing from the god, but something about his tone was so honest… The teen shook his head twice, trying to rid himself from his thoughts. “I bet you say that to every unlucky mortal that stumbles across your path.”
Bill chuckled. “Very few have come this way, Pine Tree. And those who have… never left.”
Dipper shuddered, fear hitting him once again. This god was going to be trouble. He seemed so human, besides his seemingly insane state of mind. The god looked at him again. “We’re not so different, you and I,” Bill murmured. “I mean, I used to be mortal too.”
Dipper blanched. “What?” He has to be lying, Dipper thought. Mortals can’t become gods! It’s never happened!
Bill smiled, showing off sharp white teeth, though it seemed feeble. “It has happened, Pine Tree. And you’re looking at it.”
The teenager paced in front of the god, twisting his cap in his hands as he thought. “But… never has there been a case or mention of this! I mean, it should be impossible! That much knowledge and strain on a human mind would drive the person-,” he trailed off, staring at the once-man nailed to the tree in front of him.
“Insane? Mad? Loco?” Bill whispered. “Because that’s what happened to me. I was human once, Pine Tree. In fact,” his eye flashed a bright blue for an instant, lighting up the area around the tree briefly- “I had a mind quite like yours.”
The younger twin shook his head, unknowingly treading closer to the god. “No… no, that can’t… but how-?” he said, almost to himself.
The god shrugged, then winced as the gesture tugged at the flesh around the nails. “I was young and naïve, Pine Tree. Eager, thirsty for knowledge. Kind of…” Bill’s eyes flickered from the teenagers face to his feet. “Like you.” He said softly.
A shot of adrenaline ran through Dippers body as he realized he had wandered too close to the god. A circle of blue runes lit up around the oak tree, and Bill grinned widely. “You have done me such a favor, Pine Tree.”
The earth began to shake, and blue light flickered up from the ground in jagged bolts. Bill leaned his head back against the bark of the tree, laughing. Dipper backed up, then yelped as his back hit something solid, forcing him forwards again. Some sort of shield had sprung up from the circle of runes and it was shrinking, forcing the teen towards the trapped god. “Two thousand years!” The god crowed, and Dipper shook his head, forcing himself against the ever shrinking circle.
“Two thousand years of pain and near blindness and darkness, and now, and now!” The god laughed, blue fire dancing in his eye. Dipper shuddered as the space between him and Bill disappeared. “Make it quick,” He whispered, looking at the ground, numbed by fear. The god was going to kill him, tear him apart, and not even his own knowledge or that of the journal could save him now.
The god stopped laughing, and Dipper looked up just in time to see the nails in the gods hands dissolve. “Oh, Pine Tree,” the god murmured, reaching out a hand and flicking the brim of the teenager’s hat. “I could have killed you the moment I saw you.”
“But you didn’t,” Dipper whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of churning earth. “Why didn’t you?”
The god smiled, a different smile from his shark tooth grin, and Dippers heart skipped stupidly. You’re probably going to be eaten by a god, Dipper. You’re probably going to die, so stop acting like an idiot.
“Like I said, Pine Tree,” The god said distractedly, stretching to his full height, joints popping and cracking, “You’re special. I could make you my apprentice. You could know everything you wanted to know.”
Dipper swallowed, trying to reason with the two voices inside his head. One screamed at him to turn the god down and run, but the other leapt at the chance for pure, undiluted knowledge…"
If I join you… what will you get from it?” He said, awkwardly; the shield had pressed them completely against each other, and his face was pressed into the god’s chest. A hand reached down and carded through Dippers hair, and the teen flinched before relaxing. The god smelled like cedar and lavender and it made him want to fall asleep for some unknown reason. His eyelids began to flutter, and he let his eyelids droop. This really wasn’t the place for sleep, but since he was probably going to die anyways, why not?
The teen yelped as Bill slapped the top of his head hard. “Nu-uh, Pine Tree! No falling asleep on me! We still need to work this deal out!”
“Okay…” Dipper mumbled, “What do you… want?”
With his head leaning against Bill’s chest, he felt rather than heard the chuckle that the god let out. “I want you, Pine Tree. I can make you a god. There are ways to preserve most of your sanity now, methods I hadn’t discovered when I was still mortal.”
The noise and the light and the cracking had stopped, Dipper realized, and when he looked away from the god's face he saw that the massive oak tree had been uprooted and overturned.
Dipper nodded slowly, still trying to get over the ‘I want you’ part. “Uhm… can I still live at the Shack with Mabel and- and-,” He yawned loudly, then blushed. “-uhm, and Grunkle Stan?”
Bill hissed, letting air whistle past his teeth. “Fine. But I get to stay there too.”
“What?”
“You heard me, kid. I get to stay with you.”
“Why?”
“Because you are mine. No one else gets to have you, and I can’t be sure that everyone in this town will agree to that unless I am there right beside you.”
Dipper's head spun dizzily. This was too much.
The god reached out and pushed the teenagers jaw up. “Don’t leave your mouth open like that, Pine Tree. You might inhale something gross.”
“You… Bill Cipher, the god, want to live in my house.”
“Yes!”
“And you won’t hurt anyone in there? Or anyone in town?”
Bill frowned, removing his hand from the top of Dippers head to put it over his heart. “I’m wounded that you think I’d do that, Pine Tree!”
Dipper looked at him in disbelief.
“Okay, okay, I promise!”
Dipper sighed. “Alright then.”
“So… do we have a deal?” Bill chirped, holding out his hand, which exploded into blue flame. Dipper yelped, and tried to step backwards, arms flailing as he tripped over his own feet. His breath caught as the gods arm laced around his waist.
“I said,” The god whispered, “Do we have a deal?”
Head spinning from exhaustion, excitement, fear, and something else Dipper didn’t want to think about, he nodded. He stuck out his hand and shook the gods. Bill Cipher grinned at Dipper, and despite the insanity of the situation, Dipper grinned back.
“Well, shit,” The god muttered, looking away from Dipper.
The brunet tilted his head. “What is it? Is something wrong? I-,”
Bill growled. “Shut up, Pine Tree.”
“Wha-?”
The gods arm tightened around Dippers waist, and the teenager squeaked as the god brought his mouth down over his, gently capturing Dippers lips. Bill’s lips were warm and soft and the way they moved over Dippers caused sparks to race up and down his spine. Feeling light headed, he reached up and grabbed the god’s shoulders for support, leaning into the kiss.
When they finally broke apart a few minutes later, Dipper sank to his knees, hands covering his burning face. “Wha- what was that? Was that part of, um, sealing the deal?” He said, staring at the ground. Bill grabbed the teenager with both hands, gathering him into his arms bridal style. “Nope!” The god said cheerfully, ignoring the yelps of embarrassment that came from the other boy’s mouth.
“Then… why did you do that?” Dipper muttered, folding his arms sullenly as the god cheerfully exited his prison.
Bill hummed, walking quickly down the path. “I don’t know really. Maybe because you’re special?”
“… I don’t think my mind has anything to do with this.” Dipper grumbled, wincing as a tree branch hit him in the face.
The god shrugged as the emerged from the forest, eyes squinting against the dim… starlight?
Dipper stiffened. “There’s no way… I was gone for an hour and a half… two hours, tops. It shouldn’t be dark out!”
He checked his watch.
11:59 PM.
“What the hell…?” Dipper muttered, his mind running in circles, trying to comprehend that he had been gone for roughly fifteen hours.
Bill chuckled, walking up to the Shack. “Interesting hovel…” He murmured, looking at the ‘S’ lying on the middle of the lawn. “Bill!” Dipper snapped, his patience gone. “What caused this… this time anomaly?”
The god grinned, stepping onto the front porch, then wincing as the step squeaked loudly. “That part of the forest you were in… it wasn’t quite your forest. If you hadn’t freed me, you most likely would have been stuck in there, wandering in circles, and encountering all sorts of… Beasts.”
Dipper nodded slowly. “Okay. We’ll talk about this later. Now, could you please put me down-,” He froze like a deer in the headlights as the door opened.
"Dipdop! Where the- oh, hel-lo!"
Mabel froze as well at the sight of her brother cradled in the arms of a seven foot tall piece of sexy. “Dipper,” She said, “Where were you? Why were you gone for two days? And who the hell is this?” She gestured at the stunning man, noting the eyepatch.
Dipper blinked. “Two days? That’s insane!” He looked up at the man, grinning sheepishly. “I guess you were right.”
The man rolled his eye and sighed. “Of course I’m right, Pine Tree! I’m a god after all!”
Mabel’s eyes widened. “Dipper Abel Pines, did you bring a god back home?”
Dipper spread his hands pleadingly, his face burning up. “Mabel, look, I-,”
“I mean, I expected you to bring somebody home for the night eventually- I even brought soundproof earphones, but a god, Brobro, a friggin god?”
“NO, Mabel, it’s not like that, I swear!” Dipper choked, covering his face with both hands. The man grinned widely at Mabel, and despite the fear that filled her, she grinned back. “Well…,” The man began slowly, “He is mine, and I’m staying here with him now, and I’ve already kissed him.”
Mabel laughed, holding out a hand to high five the god with. “You go, bro!”
The god just stared at it.
“Oh.” Mabel said. “It’s a... high five. We hit our hands together when we’ve done something cool, like embarrassing Dipdop just now!”
The god nodded. “I see…” He hit Mabel’s hand back and they laughed together.
“Bill… no… don’t encourage her.” Dipper groaned, admitting defeat.
Mabel raised an eyebrow. “Well, Bill… can I invite you inside for a drink?” Bill nodded, dropping Dipper to the ground with an undignified thump. “What kind of beverage would you be offering?”
“Well… let’s just say it’ll blow your mind. I call it ‘Mabel Juice!’” She chattered, grabbing the god by the hand and dragging him into the house, pulling the demon over her younger brother’s hunched form. As the noise level rose inside the house- Grunkle Stan had apparently discovered the new addition to the household- Dipper picked his head up from the rough wooden porch.
“Oh my god.” He banged his face back against the ground as something glass shattered inside the house, followed by loud shrieking and screaming. “This is not going to end well.”