Chapter Text
It was the typical calm before a storm. Luffy was taking a midday nap on the masthead, and most of the others were strewn out on the deck in comfortable stillness. Even Nami lay out sunning in her underclothes, unbothered by the noise coming from the kitchen.
“The hell are you getting mad at me for, Cook? You told me to chop the onions.”
“Yeah, the onions you idiot! You sliced the damn cutting board in two!”
“So? Now you have two cutting boards—I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You wanna eat those splinters? Those were the last ones too! Just get the hell out of my ki—”
A sudden dimming of the room interrupted the empty threat that at this point, Sanji made nearly every day. Both Sanji and Zoro looked to the windows to find they were unable to see the sky—only wood planks. Upon leaving the kitchen to investigate, they saw an enormous ship approaching fast, at least ten times the size of the Merry.
Chopper’s neck was almost at a right angle to take in the sheer size. “Should we wake Luffy?” he squeaked.
Usopp’s knees knocked together just at the sight. “N-n-no need for that! Your brave Captain Usopp is right here and I say we give them a taste of our mercy! N-Nami, turn us right around leave them alone. Those weakling chumps don’t even know what they’re getting into.”
Just as he finished, a huge ramp swung over the side of the monstrous ship, landing with a clang on the Merry’s bannister and leaving her swaying violently back and forth. It seemed turning around was no longer an option.
Awoken by the noise, Luffy let out a big yawn. “Mmmm… Zoro, what’s happening over there?”
“Go back to sleep Captain, me and the shit-cook got this covered.”
Luffy shrugged and put his hat back over his face to block the sun.
Two huge men jumped to the top of the ramp, their greedy eyes scanning the Merry like predators scrutinizing the den of their prey. The scruffier of the two addressed the other, whose bald head was so shiny its reflection could’ve blinded a passing bird.
“It’s been too long since I’ve seen girls this cute.” He turned his head to Nami. “Hey Miss Red, go ahead and grab the valuables for me. And don’t forget to include yourself!” He let out a wet sounding laugh and Nami scoffed in disgust.
In synchrony, Zoro and Sanji walked to the end of the ramp with measured control. Nobody got away with talking to Nami like that, not around either of them.
Sanji’s eyes were clouded over with hatred as he lit a cigarette. “Apologize to Nami-San.”
“Step aside, little guys. We might leave your ship in one piece if you behave.”
“You were rude to the lady and you’re getting in the way of her sun tan. Apologize.”
“Looks like that prick tease found a good pet, huh?”
Zoro didn’t hesitate before slicing the air in a refined motion, sending a shockwave that knocked the loud mouth straight off the ramp and overboard.
His bald-headed companion just laughed. “Well look at that boys—seems like we can cut loose today.”
On cue, a dozen more sinister looking guys jumped up to the ramp holding a whole arsenal of weapons.
“Take it to them, won’t you? Merry can’t handle a fight today,” Nami sighed, peering over the top of her sunglasses.
Sanji and Zoro agreed, walking up the ramp and meeting the would-be bandits halfway. They were easy work too, but every jackass that was defeated was replaced by another in a seemingly endless cycle.
Zoro and Sanji had always made a fearsome team, but now their collective power was more than the sum its parts. Before they’d been two monsters on separate rampages, but now they moved together like an eight-limbed beast with one mind.
Fluent in the language of each other’s bodies, they felt the other’s move before he consciously decided to make it. Zoro knew the precise moment to duck beneath a high kick, and Sanji knew which approaching blows to ignore when Zoro’s swords were already moving to defend against them.
Their state of flow should have been a mesmerizing sight, but the Straw Hats were barely paying attention to what was turning out to be a fairly effortless fight, and their opponents were getting knocked down too fast to register how it was happening. They knew though—ever conscious of the invisible thread between them that grew stronger with each passing day.
It was down to the last, most persistent fighter. He seemed to have a devil fruit power related to hardening, making it difficult to knock him down for good. Zoro surprised both him and Sanji by stepping up the ramp and away from the fight.
“He’s all yours, Cook.” From Zoro, that was a romantic gesture, and though this guy wasn’t even close to their league, Sanji figured it was the thought that counted.
Zoro continued up the ramp and onto the other ship, and as Sanji laid the final kick to his adversary, he heard a gruff shout.
“Does anyone have any fuckin’ onions?”
When Zoro returned with a burlap sack slung over one shoulder, Sanji smashed the ramp that held the Merry captive with a with a single kick. Zoro stood in deep concentration, a look that told Sanji he was about to do something rash.
“We can go now, Marimo.”
Zoro sliced outward, powerful slashes flying from his swords and splitting the huge ship in half. Sanji put out his cigarette as the two sides, each still far larger than the Merry, sunk slowly into the ocean.
“God you’re so dramatic, you really didn’t need to go all out like that,” Sanji teased.
Zoro shrugged. “They didn’t behave.” He untied the sack from his shoulder and held it out to Sanji. “Here.”
Sanji looked inside to see a hundred onions, and coming from Zoro, it was a better than some cliché bouquet or box or chocolates.
“God damn. I love you, you fuckin’ idiot.”
“I love you too, bastard.”