Chapter Text
A day and a half. Luz hadn’t slept in a day and a half, not since everything went wrong. Not since Claggor had snapped and she had to stun him, drug him, to keep him from hurting himself or someone else. Not since she saw the Jedi Temple in flames, not since Nox sent her that damn cryptic message and his comms went dead! She couldn’t eat, she was sick over it, and as if everything else wasn’t bad enough his voice over the comm had her freaked out more than anything. He sounded like he was in pain when he gave her that warning, that message that hadn’t made sense at first, a warning she was absolutely not going to heed because if he was in trouble there was no way in hell she would stay away and he knew it! Especially when, in her frantic struggle to make any sense of it all, she realized two words that had been part of his warning were from his playlist.
It’s - I - B-become m-my demons, I c-can’t-
My Demons.
It was a song.
She’d been playing it on repeat since she figured it out, analyzing it frantically from all angles between keeping up with Claggor and cursing into her comms for any of her friends to answer, because something was horribly wrong. By the time Luz arrived at 79’s with a half-drugged Claggor strapped to the back of her bike it was taking all her efforts to push through the anxiety and ground herself with the now familiar lyrics.
We are one and the same, oh
You take all of the pain away, away, away
Save me if I become
My demons…
She exhaled shakily and shut it off, switching her comm to Crow’s encrypted channel with trembling hands. “CROW!” She squeaked. “You better get your kriffing shebs here soon, I need your help!”
Luz glanced briefly at the second sunset she had seen since she last saw her bed before dragging herself off the bike. “Come on Clags,” She said tightly, trying to force some steadiness into her voice, for his sake, and she slipped an arm around his back to help him up. “Let’s get you inside.”
“Mffh good sss,” He muttered, but thankfully, he complied, slumping heavily against her as she shuffled him through the doors. Kriff, he was heavy, but it was her own fault she was struggling with him in this state, at least sort of. She stayed up with him all night, re-sedating him every couple of hours between trying to reach Nox or Crow or Ridgeback and digging her nails into her jacket with anxiety, all so he wouldn’t rip his own karking arm off to try and go kill the Jedi. It was the best she could do for him and she hated it, hated feeling helpless to actually help him out of whatever hell he was stuck in! Thank the stars Claggor didn’t know how to bust open binders like Nox. It took until only an hour ago for his ramblings to slow and his eyes to soften, but the effects of the drugs still remained.
“Hvnt… hrrr n agesss,” Claggor slurred as Luz deposited him in at a booth in the back.
“That’s right bud,” Luz huffed, doing her best to be calm and encouraging despite how little she felt either of those things. Even under normal circumstances getting him here wouldn’t have been easy, but while she was running on pure adrenaline and Coaxium Energy, with those lyrics spinning in her head? Her legs and voice still shook, just a bit. “Can you stay here a minute?”
“Mmmmph.”
Good enough. Powpow was taking point anyways, keeping an eye on him for her. They had a lot of practice now getting her to tone down that kriffing Jedi warning system that seemed hard-wired into her programming, but finally, she seemed to understand the word alone shouldn’t trigger an alarm. Luz jogged the few steps over to the bar. Already the place was getting crowded, but she didn’t recognize anybody yet. There were more nat-borns than usual here, for some reason, and hardly any Corries, but Crow had insisted he would be here by nightfall when she finally reached him a few hours ago and he better come through.
“Minalyte water and two Coaxium Energy shots,” Luz said in a haggard tone the moment she caught the bartenders eye. They raised an eyebrow at her, asking no questions, but passed her the energy shots and two minalyte waters with a knowing expression a minute later.
Claggor was tracing curly patterns in the table with an unsteady finger while Powpow supervised when she got back, to her relief. It was a harmless enough fixation.
“Drink,” Luz instructed, sliding one of the Minalyte waters over to him. It could only help him, right? She downed a strongly flavored energy shot and kept an intense eye on him, barely noticing when an emergency broadcast began to play until cheers erupted around her.
The war is over. The Separatists have been defeated, and the Jedi rebellion has been foiled.
“The war is over!” Someone cried.
“We did it! We won!”
“To victory!”
Luz let out a shaky sigh and even Claggor lobbed a fist into the air, throwing himself off balance so she had to brace him to keep him upright. The war was over. Great. So no more fighting, no more dying, right? But the long awaited good news hit her with a sense of numbness, at best. Maybe she would feel like celebrating once she knew her friends survived, once Claggor recovered and Nox was home and safe and not screaming at her to STAY AWAY…
A trooper in purple armor slammed a hand on the table, and for a second her heart leapt, but it wasn’t Ridgeback. The clone sported a long scar across his nose and a tattoo on his bald scalp.
“Luz!” Lynchpin barked. “Good to see you out here tonight! What a night! We won the war!”
“Great news,” She said forcibly. “After all this time.”
“Right? I didn’t think I’d live to see the end of it, to be honest,” He laughed, but Luz didn’t find it very funny.
“Well I’m glad you did.”
“Who you with?”
“This is Claggor,” She said amicably. “He’s-”
“Already partying, eh? Good times, brother, good times,” Lynchpin grinned, taking a big swig of his own drink.
“Hey,” Luz cut in, hoping she could get a straight answer before the man got too drunk. “Ridgeback’s on your squad, right? Where is he? I tried to call him earlier and-”
“Watch who you associate with,” He cut her off with a snarl. “And he’s not on my squad. Ridgeback’s no brother of ours anymore.”
“What?” Luz gasped. “Did he-”
“Betrayed us. Betrayed the Republic!” Lynchpin leaned in, glowering over her and Claggor, who looked pleasantly confused. “He let our Commander go rogue, only hours before Order Sixty Six. She survived, and she’s a threat to the Republic! To our victory!”
Luz wondered how much Lynchpin himself had already drank, but something told her it was better not to argue with the agitated trooper on the matter, even if a part of her was relieved. Ridgeback loved his Commander… but she widened her eyes and she nodded in mock understanding, while Powpow made a nervous sound. At least the little droid didn’t raise a full blown alarm at the mention of a Jedi again.
“If you see him, Luz, you contact one of us,” Lynchpin said conspiratorially, thumping a fist against his chest. “Don’t try to engage. We’ll handle him for you.”
“So he… Escaped?” She whispered cautiously.
“Yeah. He’s on the run. But we’ll find him.”
“I’m sure you will,” Luz said, somehow managing to feel even worse. The end of the war was supposed to mean her friends would be safe! But at least three of them now seemed to be in serious trouble, Claggor, Nox, and now Ridgeback. Maybe Vaughn and Boomerang and Trapper too, she still didn’t know how they had come out of their last battles! Dammit she really needed Crow.
Lynchpin chuckled menacingly and sauntered off to slam a hand down on another table nearby where cheers erupted again. Luz gripped her own arm hard until a slurping sound jerked her back to the moment. Claggor had finished off his minalyte water.
“Here,” She muttered, pushing the second one she hadn’t even touched his way. He needed it more, and she was having trouble stomaching anything now.
Whatever the rest of the broadcast had said, she had missed it. It hardly mattered, though. She caught the important part, war over, kriffing yay, the rest would probably go over her head anyways and Riyo would explain it later. At least Claggor seemed to be slowly sobering up. He wasn’t speaking much, but his eyes seemed more focused, his movements more coordinated, as time passed. She watched the others celebrate, scanning for other people she might know amidst her drowsiness and dread, until finally Powpow let out an excited little chirp on her shoulder. Crow finally, finally emerged from the crowd.
“Crow!” She called, her heart jolting at the sight of him. “Over here!”
He caught her eye but, for once, didn’t smile. Rafi trailed in his wake, looking distressed.
“Sorry Luz,” Crow spoke low as he reached them. “I couldn’t leave any sooner. Not with everything, I’ve been on duty for over a day, they haven’t changed the guards.”
“Karks sake,” She growled.
“But I got your message,” He continued in trepidation as he sat gingerly at her side. “Luz… You may want to prepare yourself for the worst.”
“NO,” She cried. “That won’t be- It can’t-”
“I found this,” He said, his voice hitching, as he gingerly lifted a helmet painted with an orange design in his hands and set it on the table before her. “I’m sorry… It’s… It’s Nox’s, isn’t it? He was the only one with this pattern here…”
Luz had to grip the table as her head spun. Yes, it was Nox’s, but that didn’t have to mean anything, did it?
“Where…” She muttered faintly. Rafi slid in next to her, pressing his hip into hers and taking her hand.
“Back on base.”
“Then that doesn’t mean anything then,” Luz said with far more confidence than she felt, and pounded the next energy shot even as her stomach lurched. “...Right? If… If it was at the base, not at the… The temple…”
“I don’t know,” Crow admitted. “But based off what he said in that message-”
“No. Maybe he’s just on the run, like Ridgeback. Maybe he didn’t kit up, maybe he got de-listed before-”
“He wasn’t de-listed,” Crow said, wringing his hands in distress. “I already checked. Luz, the 501st and us Corries stopped an insurrection at the Temple today, but it cost us a lot of men and…”
Luz shook her head. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t breathe, she just clasped a hand around the helmet and pulled it close -
“I know, Luz. I know,” Crow said, wringing his hands. “We… We don’t know anything for sure, but… Kark, you can never really be prepared...”
Luz nodded, unblinking, but she wouldn’t believe it. Not without proof. She knew better, this was different, she knew it even if no one else but Vaughn had realized it, and maybe Casey from his stories, but he may as well have told her as much in that song. Nox struggled with something unseen, he always had, so as long as he was out there...
Fly forever, don’t let me go
I need a savior to heal my pain
When I become my worst enemy
My enemy…
Yeah. There was no way in Sith-hells she was just gonna let him go.
“What happened to Claggor?” Crow asked instead, sinking slowly into the booth with a haggard sigh. “And why is Ridgeback on the run?”
She sucked in a sharp breath and furrowed her brow. There were still others who needed her. “Clags… snapped,” She whispered. “He nearly shot me trying to get to the surface. Wanted to kill Jedi, kept saying good soldiers follow orders, like he was in a trance.”
Crow’s expression barely changed, and somehow that worried her even more. She wiped stubbornly at her eyes to look at him properly. It was so rare to see him so serious and… It was unnerving.
“We all did what we had to do today, Luz,” He said solemnly. “The Jedi’s betrayal couldn’t be taken lightly, especially since we once considered them our allies.”
“What’s everyone talking about betrayal for anyways? What even happened? All I know is the temple was burning and half my friends are in trouble even though the war is supposed to be over!”
“The Jedi attempted to assassinate the Chancellor and overthrow the Republic!” Crow hissed.
“What?”
“The war might be over but the end wasn’t pretty. I never expected it to be, and neither did Vaughn, when he talked about it.”
Powpow chirped questioningly at the mention of Vaughn.
“No. Still no word,” Crow told her before turning back to Luz. “Is Claggor okay now?”
“I… I had to stun him,” Luz admitted, dropping her gaze in shame. “And keep him sedated after… He would have hurt himself…”
“No, you’re right. He wouldn’t have stood a chance up here, and he’s discharged anyways, this wasn’t his fight,” Crow narrowed his eyes at the trooper, who was leaning back in the booth, staring up at the ceiling, blissfully unaware of their conversation. Rafi, though, listened in with silent attention. “I’m surprised he got the order at all. Not sure how that happened.”
“Maybe he still has his comms set to the network,” Luz mused. “He was wearing his helmet.”
Crow nodded. “He’s always been loyal, but the Jedi are all but eliminated now. We’re safe. You gave him a stim after the drugs?”
“Duh.”
“Then he should be okay. Don’t worry Luz, you did a good thing.”
“If you say so,” Luz muttered, still unsure as she crossed her arms over Nox’s helmet and rested her head on top.
Crow sighed deep and rubbed at his temples for a moment, looking far more serious than she ever wanted to see him. “So what was that about Ridgeback?”
“Lynchpin said he-” but Powpow’s excitable chirping cut her off again and she jerked her head up in alarm, scanning faces for the reason until -
“NOX!” She jumped up so fast the table caught her in the ribs and the three others startled. Crow sat in open mouthed surprise for a moment before scrambling out of her way with Rafi. For the second time this week, when she was on the verge of losing hope, he appeared. He was alive, looking something terrible, still limping, but alive, and wouldn’t it be kriffing great if that could stop coming into question after today?! Luz shouldered past people, running to him with Crow on her heels, Nox’s eyes met hers and -
“TRAITOR!”
Luz hardly registered the word in her own flood of emotions but as she reached out to throw herself around his middle he moved fast as lighting, spinning away from her grasp and grabbing hold of her arm instead, yanking hard. She let out a yelp and tried to twist towards him but he painfully tightened his grip and suddenly she felt the cold steel of a blaster head jammed roughly into her gut. Someone screamed. Luz froze.
“N-Nox?” She stammered out in a small voice.
“Good soldiers f-follow…”
“No, no no Nox it’s me, it’s ME, it’s Luz -“
The blaster pressed harder against her gut in his shaking hands, and her eyes snapped to his face, looking for her friend but… His eyes were hate filled. Murderous. Locked on her.
Luz’s blood turned to ice in her veins.
“NOX! Let her go! NOW!” Crow shouted over the commotion, stopping just short of the pair of them with his own blaster drawn.
“She’s an insurgent!” Nox roared. “And so are you! All your plans, you TRICKED us! And She -“ Nox turned back towards Luz with a horrible sneer, “She MADE US do it! She wants us to desert, she DESERVES-“
Luz could hardly breathe, hardly move, as he railed against her, hissing and spitting, like she was nothing, or worse.
“SHE’S AN ENEMY OF THE STATE!!! INSURGENTS MUST BE ELIMINATED! GOOD SOLDIERS - WE HAVE TO - WE - WE FOLLOW ORDERS!”
But… He hadn’t pulled the trigger yet. Maybe that had to do with the several blasters trained on him now, or… Or maybe he was fighting. His eyes flashed with sinister rage, but they brimmed with tears, too. His hands held the blaster painfully tight to her stomach but she could feel them shaking. He was still fighting, best he could, whatever the hell this was, nightmares or demons or something else that wasn’t him.
Luz slowly reached up her other hand, taking shallow, fearful breaths, and gently cupped his cheek. “It’s okay,” She told him, blinking back tears in her own eyes, too. “This isn’t you, I - I know it’s not you-“
“T-Traitor!” Nox seethed, but his lips trembled as he said it, and a tear trickled down his cheek. Luz brushed it away with her thumb.
“I’ve got you, okay?” She whispered. “I’m not giving you up. Ever.”
There was a moment where everything seemed frozen, suspended in time, the world stopped around them and for a second she could see Nox in his eyes again, looking so scared that it hurt… Then it flickered away, replaced with something blank and unfeeling, and the blaster in his hands stopped shaking.
“Good soldiers follow-“
Luz wasn’t entirely sure what happened next. Someone collided with Nox, hard, and she was knocked sprawling on the ground. “Wait!” She cried out, trying to scramble clear as more clones throw themselves into the fight and someone tried to pull her back. “Don’t-“
“SHE’S THE ENEMY! ARREST HER!” Nox screamed with rage as Crow grappled with him, but Nox lobbed a punch at the Corrie’s face that sent blood and spit flying from his mouth. “KILL HER! INSURGENT SCUM!”
“You’re insane!” Lynchpin said as he lunged at Nox himself and Crow teetered on the spot. “Thought she saved your shebs!”
“She saved mine! You both did!” Someone else jumped to her defense. “Cato Neimoidia, remember? Stand down!”
“GOOD SOLDIERS FOLLOW ORDERS!!!”
“I got the blaster!” Mattox shouted, and Crow grabbed hold of Nox’s arm again, holding him back with the others.
“DON’T HURT HIM!” Luz screamed. “SOMETHING’S WRONG!”
“Nox,” Crow spoke soothingly, wincing in pain as he did. “You know that’s not true.”
“She’s a TRAITOR! And so are YOU!”
“If anything Luz knew the Jedi couldn’t be trusted long before any of us did!” Crow said defiantly. “Snap out of it! She’s always been on our side, you know that!”
Nox met Crow’s eyes for a minute but there was no fear or conflict in his expression anymore. Luz could only watch in slow motion as Nox took advantage of his brother’s compassion, wrenching an arm free and grasping at Crow’s blaster instead before any of them could stop him.
“NO!” Crow cried, but Nox met Luz’s eyes one more time, and fired. She only caught a glimpse of the cold twisted rage on his face before the flash of blue and -
---
Just lucky it was set to stun, a voice drifted at the edge of her consciousness.
It wasn’t luck. If I had to use it I didn’t wanna kill him, even if he damn well tried to kill us.
She’s coming around.
She won’t be happy about this.
Well what choice did I have? After something like that?
I’m just saying-
Luz lurched upwards and was immediately hit with a wave of dizziness that she pushed through on instinct, gasping and fumbling for anything solid to hold on to.
“Nox!” She spluttered, looking wildly around at the blurry faces to find him. “Where’s Nox? Is he okay?”
“Easy Luz,” Riyo spoke urgently, taking her hand, but what the hell was Riyo doing here?! “Breathe. Do you… Remember what happened?”
Luz whipped her head around in confusion. She had just been at 79’s but this… This wasn’t it. This was the Tempest! She was home on her ship, Crow with his face swollen and bruised, and Claggor and Riyo and Rafi, all gazing at her with expressions like they were all about to be sick, and Nox -
Nox had shot her.
It must have been just a stunner… But Nox had shot her. The reality of that was sinking in, but he couldn’t have meant to, that wasn’t him! She ripped her hand from Riyo’s grasp and hugged herself around the middle, mind reeling. Nox had warned her to stay away from him. They’d seen something like this happen before, with Tup, with Fives, but now it was happening to so many men, even Claggor it seemed and… And now him.
But he wasn’t here. And Tup and Fives were…
“Where is he?” She demanded again, only to be met with a dreadful silence. No, no he’s not, she thought, her insides freezing up. They wouldn’t-
“Osik, he’s not dead,” Claggor spat from across the room. “Would one of you grow the balls to explain before she karking breaks?”
Luz let out a shaky breath at that reassurance, for what it was worth, and shot what she hoped was an appreciative look at Claggor. He scowled.
“Nox… Had to be subdued, after what he did,” Crow said reluctantly, refusing to meet her eyes. “He kept trying to fight everyone else too. They... Took him back to the med bay on base for evaluation. I tried to stop them but - But after something like that-”
Her head started spinning all over again. No, no that couldn’t happen, that was exactly what he had been so afraid of all this time! He wasn’t even de-listed, he was still theirs, and after all the things she knew they would do to someone like him?! After what they did to Tup and Fives? After an episode where he tried to kill a civilian?!
“I’ve already pulled every favor I can to monitor the situation and tagged his files,” Crow rushed on. “Mattox is there, he’s been on his squad for a while, just got promoted, and… Nox isn’t the only one like this.”
“What even… What happened after I got shot?” She stammered. “What’s going on?”
“It looks like he had a similar episode to Claggor,” Crow said softly, and Luz noticed Claggor’s eyes dart away from her again at the mention of it. “Link got a clear shot from the bar, he stunned Nox right after Nox stunned you and knocked out one of the others. With any luck, he’ll calm down in a couple of days, and he can proceed with de-listing,” He added, though Luz couldn’t miss the uneasiness in his voice. A shameful red blush crept into Claggors cheeks at the words.
“We’re getting him back,” She insisted. “He should be here.”
“He tried to kill you Luz,” Crow nodded grimly.
“That wouldn’t have been a good option,” Riyo added, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
Wait. Something just occurred to Luz, looking around the room. Riyo? And Crow?
“AH!” Luz jumped suddenly. “Ri- I mean, uh, and Cr-- Trooper! CT-27… Kriff you’re both here. Uhm. Hey you know Claggor and - Osik,” She cursed. “You two weren’t supposed to meet…”
“Right. So your mysterious contact is Senator Chuchi,” Crow smirked, looking a tad relieved at the change of topic. “I’ve… Actually known that for a while… Sorry.”
Luz smacked her own forehead and let out a huff. “Honestly, Crow? Why am I even surprised.”
“You shouldn’t be. I saved both your asses with that holofootage, remember?”
“It’s alright,” Riyo smiled. “I was already here when he returned with you. It gave me the chance to thank him for the fact that my reputation is still in tact.”
Luz slumped over on the sofa in defeat, directly onto something hard at her side. She glanced down in surprise. Nox’s helmet sat next to her, bright orange markings and all. She let out the smallest gasp and scooped it up, hugging it close to her chest a minute before looking up at them again.
“Fine,” She muttered. “Well… Riyo, Crow, Crow, Riyo. Claggor, Rafi, Luz,” She gestured at everyone and herself, and Powpow chirped on her shoulder once, making her jump. “And Powpow. We’re all karking insurgents now I guess, might as well know each other.”
She expected at least a couple of them to deny it, or at least chuckle at the terrible joke, but was met with dead silence. Even Claggor didn’t protest, though he could still be a bit drugged, but Rafi, to her mild surprise, nodded in grim agreement.
“I am unsure how many of you were able to see the Chancellors speech today,” Riyo said slowly, “But he is dissolving the Republic as we know it. With the end of the war, he intends to form a new Galactic Empire.”
“Empire?” Crow said with a hiss. “We’re - My brothers - We’re soldiers of the Republic!”
“They’re calling you Imperial Stormtroopers, now,” Riyo nodded in disgust. “The idea of this new empire, this single law, single power… No one will be free. The Chancellor called for us to defend our ideals by force of arms, to crush their challengers, report insurrectionists…”
Luz let out a low breath. Crow shook his head and Claggor scowled.
“I know the Republic was never perfect. It hid corruption and deceit behind ideals it struggled to abide by itself. In that, it deeply failed it’s citizens… And it’s soldiers,” She continued, glancing apologetically at both Crow and Claggor. “But I fear what a regime like this will be capable of, one that does not even bother to hide its lust for power, that even takes pride in it!”
“We have to be careful,” Crow piped up. “We’re good soldiers. If we try and plan anything that goes against orders-”
“When have you ever followed orders?” Luz looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“We… We’re good soldiers. We follow orders-”
“No no no Crow, don’t you dare start with that!” She snapped. “That’s the same shit Claggor was chanting! Thats what- what Nox was saying! Back at 79’s!”
“What?”
“Fight it. Fight it right now Crow, I NEVER want to hear those words come out of your mouth!” She stood from her seat, practically spitting at Crow across the hold. “You’ve never given a kark about an order in your whole damn life. You gave those kriffing scientists hell as a cadet on Kamino, you flouted every regulation you could from Coruscant, from growing out your damn beard to slicing military data to save lives to getting a tattoo on your shebs so they couldn’t see it! Whatever part of you says to follow orders isn’t you. You’ve never been an obedient good little soldier and don’t you dare start now. You make far too good a brother and a friend so you question it, you FIGHT it, do you hear me? I’m not losing you too!”
Crow looked up at her eyes wide in shock but she held his gaze, despite feeling the stares of the others on her face. She clutched Nox’s helmet with both arms tight against her chest.
“We just won a war,” Rafi spoke evenly, “And it sounds like you’re already planning to start a revolution.”
“Vaughn said something about that once,” Crow said slowly, not breaking Luz’s fiery gaze. “He told me that if a revolution was needed someday, he hoped we wouldn’t wait around for someone else to start it.”
Luz nodded cautiously. That kind of talk felt better. That sounded more like Crow, even if he was quoting his brother. “He said that thing about the lights we make, too, didn’t he?” She added. “To hope for a bright future, but if you found yourself in darkness, to make your own light? Or something like that, Nox told me and… It was all poetic when he said it.”
“Vaughn sounds like a wise man,” Riyo cut in fervently. “It may be early yet, but in the only speech ever made about the new Empire, there are already blatant references to colonization, violent authoritarianism, oppression, exploited labor, and extreme nationalism.”
“That all sounds like the kind of things Vaughn would be against,” Crow grimaced. “We… We should all stand against them.”
“When he’s back maybe he can enlighten us,” Luz muttered, pulling her gaze away from Crow at long last to look down at the helmet in her hands. “I’d really like to know what he thinks of all this, but I know what I think already.”
“He’d think we should fight it,” Crow smirked. “Like you said. And… he would be right.”
Luz noticed he winced slightly at his own words, but only a little. The determined, mischievous, shit-eating expression he usually wore seemed to be back. Seeing it gave her the slightest bit of relief.
“I’ll fight,” Rafi declared suddenly. “Boomerang has told me enough of what you do already, and if this is the way the galaxy is going I don’t want to waste my time standing by while it goes to hell. I want in.”
“Vaughn always thought, when the war was over, we would still have lost brothers,” Crow said gruffly. “Maybe in more ways than one. I never understood it… but I think I do now.”
“I’m ready,” Claggor muttered, and Luz looked down at him in shock, but his eyes were clear and determined. He didn’t elaborate, but as she held the gaze of the soldier who had been used up and cast aside, she understood, and her heart swelled.
“Yeah, I don’t trust this at all,” Luz spoke strongly, still holding Nox’s helmet in a death-grip. “What even changes? I’ve gone to war for you before and I’ll do it again, that’s what a bleeding heart like me is good for, right? It would be hilarious to think we’d do anything different, for kriffs sake, these hut’uun bastards trying to screw my friends like they can just-”
“So we’re in agreement, then,” Riyo said with a confident grin, cutting off Luz’s tirade before it could go too far. “We fight the Empire.”
“Fuck the Empire,” Luz seethed through gritted teeth.
Around the table, five people nodded in solidarity, and one little droid made a low trilling sound in a clear attempt to match the mood of the room.
“So what does that make us?” Rafi asked with dark determination. “Are we traitors? Insurgents? Rebels?”
Luz gazed down at Nox’s helmet. He was still out there, despite everything. He still tried to protect her even as his nightmares all came true. He still had faith in her. The lyrics rang clearly in her head, almost as though he had written them there himself.
I cannot stop this sickness taking over
It takes control and drags me into nowhere
I need your help, I can’t fight this forever
I know you’re watching, I can feel you out there…
She promised him she wouldn’t let him go and she meant it. He had been there when she said it, he was trapped behind his eyes, but he was there. She had held him through his struggles before, helped him fight them like he helped her fight her own demons. There wasn’t a question in the galaxy about it. She would find a way to do that again, whatever it took.
For all her friends.
Because none of them were okay. She was missing something, she had to be, too much had just gone wrong all at once with the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire for this to be coincidence. Ridgeback was on the run, Crow had his shift in demeanor, there was that phrase, the silence on Vaughn’s front, Claggor and Nox’s breakdowns, Nox’s… Everything. She could hope Trapper and Boomerang were okay, but had a bad feeling that they weren’t either, not after all of this. The implication made something black and putrid slither in her gut, filling her with a newer, darker, desperate level of resolve.
“They can call us whatever they want, but we are what they make us,” Luz said in a deadly tone, her lips curled in an ugly, exhausted snarl. “We’re the enemy.”
