Chapter Text
The issue with Auri is that I would give up eternity if it meant we would die together, but she wouldn’t be Auri if the very notion didn’t ignite her into an incandescent rage. And if she wasn’t Auri, I doubt that I would want her at all.
Her body fits mine like no one’s ever has, but perhaps that’s because she’s the only one who’s ever thought I was worth trying to fit with.
It’s rare that Astarion sleeps, and he never knows that it happens until he wakes. It doesn’t happen unless he feels safe. Happy. Maybe both. It makes sense that he sleeps when he’s in Auri’s bed. It makes sense that he had a dream that was downright depraved.
He still doesn’t expect to wake up with Auri on her knees between his legs, his cock hard and her lips soft. His length glistens with her saliva; how long has she been at this? Her tongue is torturous as it circles the tip of him, and when he props himself up on his elbows to get a better view of her, she looks up at him through her eyelashes. Auri’s hand replaces her mouth, stroking him as she says, “Good morning.”
Astarion runs his tongue over his teeth. “You are dangerous—”
Auri trails kisses up the underside of his length. “You were having too much fun without me. I was feeling left out.” Her legs are bare, but an oversized t-shirt covers most of her. “What were you dreaming about?”
The pace of her hand is hypnotic, and she has him on the back foot before he’s even gotten to do anything. “You,” he manages. Her lips are slightly parted and the tell-tale coloring of poorly-blended concealer dots Auri’s chin. “I dreamed about you.”
“Mm. I know.”
“What?”
Auri tilts her head to the side, grinning. “Have you got another girl named Auri whose name you might be saying in your sleep?” Astarion hasn’t drunk enough blood to blush, but his mouth goes dry. Auri licks away the glistening bead of precum that’s formed on the tip of his cock; she hasn’t even bothered pulling her hair back. It spills in curtains around her as she holds his gaze. She expects him to match her tone, but Astarion can’t. Not when she’s like this.
“Beautiful,” he says, and Auri’s hand stutters for the barest moment. But as he watches, her head dips down again, saliva dripping from her swollen lips, pausing just before she takes him again.
Astarion hisses out a breath, and Auri says, “The girls are gone and I’ve slept. Any other objections?”
It’s taken all his self-restraint not to bend her over the sofa a million times over before this point. He wouldn’t have been able to turn her down this time anyway, and he’s even less inclined to when he can feel her breath on his skin. “I told you. You can touch me all you like.”
Auri takes her time; for as eager as she’s been to touch him, she seems to relish this torment even more. When he reaches to tuck her hair behind her ear, she leans into his touch like a cat might. She looks up at him expectantly, but when he does nothing more than brush his thumb along her cheekbone, she exhales a laugh.
“What?” he asks.
Auri only blushes and shakes her head like his question’s made her shy. “Nothing,” she says, and she hides her inexplicable bashfulness in a way Astarion knows well — with her mouth.
It’s funny, or it might be if it wasn’t taking all his concentration not to come down her throat. The hand in her hair twitches when her lips part to take him, and Astarion’s fantasized about feeling this again for what may as well be an eternity, but—
He’d thought as much when he woke to them, and he’d noticed all the times they’d kissed, too, but her lips are soft. Auri was always good at this particular act, but their life wasn’t one of luxury. Chapped, windblown lips were a constant. This Auri–
This Auri has a skincare routine.
It shows.
Auri doesn’t know exactly what he likes yet, but she’s no slouch. Her mouth bobs up and down, and she gives no consideration to decorum. No part of his cock is left dry, and she’s a mess even though he’s the one receiving pleasure. Saliva drips down her chin to the base of his cock, and Astarion’s managed to maintain a gentle handhold in her hair, but most of it’s splayed around her shoulders and across his hips. He gathers as much of it as he can in hand, pulling it away from the mess she’s making of the both of them; it, at least, deserves to stay dry, and his reward is Auri looking up at him with that same look of surprised bashfulness she’d given him before.
Astarion almost loses it then, half his member buried in the heat of her mouth. Her hair’s like fire in his hands, bright against his skin, and he exhales as her lips slide along him. “Gods,” he sighs, still propped up on one elbow, unwilling to give up the sight of Auri at work even as every muscle in his body begs to melt into the mattress. His cock pushes against the back of her throat, and for a moment, Auri’s body resists. She gags, and Astarion starts to reassure her that it’s enough, that she doesn’t have to, that–
Auri pushes past the discomfort, and when her lips meet his hips, he rocks upward on impulse alone. Her mouth twitches – she’d grin at him if not for how full she is with his cock – and Astarion shudders, stroking her hair as she takes him again and again, easier each time.
Astarion doubts he’s going anywhere good when he finally meets his end, but even if he did, he doubts it would compare to this. Auri’s content to work his cock for a long while with her mouth, tongue flat and throat relaxed, but when she pulls away, her hand again replaces it.
He wouldn’t deny her anything, even less so when she’s kneeling between his legs, neck and cheeks flushed. “Can I ride you?” she asks, and he’d had plans, but–
“Yes.”
Auri peels her underwear from her body as she scrambles atop him, and he kicks off the sweatpants her asshole of an ex left behind. She doesn’t bother with her shirt, but Astarion’s hardly in a state to ask for more. Her bracelets bump against his ribs as she shifts above him, lining him up with her entrance. He breathes out through his nose, and Auri smiles, the tip of him only the smallest thrust from being inside her. “Eager,” she says without malice.
And at last, Auri guides his cock inside.
She feels like he remembers but better: better than falling asleep in a patch of sun, a fifty gold glass of wine, or a perfectly executed kill. Auri sinks onto him and Astarion does all he can to etch the sensation to the inside of his skull. She tilts her head back, veins throbbing in her neck, but the heat of her walls is enough to distract him from the temptation. “Shit,” she exhales, laughing. “You’re more perfect than I thought.”
“The feeling’s mutual.”
Inch by inch Astarion slides inside her, and every second is an exercise in self-control. He could have spilled himself in her throat, and when Auri starts to move, he bites his lip. “Careful, love,” he says, and as if in answer, she leans back, taking him even deeper.
Astarion’s eyes roll back in his head. “Careful?” she questions, head tilting to the side, and Astarion never doubted she was enjoying this torture. Her hips roll, grinding them closer and closer together. “Why would I be careful if I want you to come inside me?”
His fingers dig into her thighs as she bounces, and he fucks up into her, matching her pace even as he dances on the precipice of losing control. “I–” he starts, but Auri doesn’t give him space or time. She leans down until their chests touch, and his hands fall to her ass on instinct alone.
“Is it true what they say?” Auri asks, but Astarion isn’t coherent.
He grits his teeth. “About what?”
“About elf ears.” Auri’s voice is hypnotic. He can’t– “About how sensitive they are.”
He’s going to die a second time. The feeling of her rocking back and forth on top of him, her cunt perfectly molded to his cock, is actually going to kill him. “As if you’ve never been with an elf before–”
Auri’s fingers brush against the tip of his ear, and gods help him, but Astarion whimpers.
“Half-elves. But no one like you.”
The slap of her skin against his is wanton, and he dissolves even further when her teeth tug gently at the same place she’d touched. She bites her way down the shell of his ear, little more than a nibble each time, and when she’s satisfied, she whispers, “It wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Filling me with cum?”
It’s too much. He started at a disadvantage and never managed to claw his way back to solid ground. Auri had barely touched him before today, but it took her no time at all to take him apart expertly. When the climax starts, he can’t stop it; Astarion snaps his hips up until they meet her ass when his cock pulses, and Auri’s eyes bore into his until Astarion pulls her face close, pressing her lips to his. She moans into his mouth as he pumps twice more inside her, and she whispers, “Gods, you feel good.” Auri presses her forehead to his, and when Astarion’s done but for the gasping, she asks, “Can you get me pregnant, by the way? I know I’m asking out of order, but–”
Astarion’s always been a sore loser.
“No, I can’t,” he says, pulling out of her and flipping her onto her back in one motion. Auri squeaks in surprise, but she laughs as she falls down onto the mattress. “But not for lack of trying.” His finger tugs at the hem of her shirt. “Off.”
Auri’s smile turns wicked, but she does as he says. Her breasts bounce when they’re freed, constellations of freckles dotting her chest. His eyes rove her body, scanning from her face down until he reaches the place where his cum leaks from between her legs. Astarion’s all but salivating; Auri swallows hard like she’s uncomfortable now that the attention’s on her. “Something you should know about me–” Astarion says, head dipping down until his teeth find her nipple. He pulls gently, and Auri’s back arches as she squirms until he releases it again. “–is that I always give as good as I get.”
Auri’s pulse thuds beneath her skin. “I didn’t do it to get something in return.”
Her heartbeat pounds in Astarion’s ears, and when two of his fingers ease inside her, Auri moans. His hands remember exactly what she likes: how the feeling of being stretched drives her mad, what strokes will bring her to the edge, and how to push her over into bliss. He withdraws his fingers from her only long enough to gather the cum dripping from her slit. Auri holds her breath, watching as he pushes his spend back into her cunt. “Don’t worry, darling,” Astarion says, his thumb finding her clit and applying the barest pressure. “My intentions are entirely selfish.” He removes his thumb to press a kiss between her legs, and Auri whimpers. “You falling apart at my touch does wonders for my ego.”
Auri chuckles. “Gods know your ego needs more encouragement,” she says, but she isn’t laughing when his lips find her clit again, drawing at the bundle of nerves as a third finger slips between her folds. Auri gasps out his name as he presses a kiss to her inner thigh. “You don’t have to–”
His fingers aren’t idle as he interrupts her. “Don’t have to what? Enjoy our collective pleasure?”
There’s no room for her anxieties, then. The taste of her and him intermingle when his tongue drags along her entrance, and again, his name spills from her lips like a prayer, and yes, this is more what he had in mind. Auri’s hands are in his hair as her thighs brush against his ears, his tongue fucking into her and his cock hardening again beneath him, and for her, this foreplay’s lasted a long while. Slick paints his mouth as his nose presses into her clit, and, “Please,” Auri begs, but she showed him no mercy.
When she dances on the borderline of climax, he pulls away.
Auri’s nails scrabble against his scalp, every atom of her being singing to the spot in his chest where his heart would beat. “What–” she gasps, but Astarion’s on top of her properly, his face inches from hers.
“I loved when you came in my mouth, darling,” he says, guiding himself to her entrance, “but you’re going to do it wrapped around my cock today.”
“You think it’s that easy?” Auri’s cunt stretches to accommodate him, and her challenge might be more effective if her eyes weren’t crazed with lust.
When he spears her fully, Auri cries out, and yes, whatever cum he has left, he’s going to spill inside her. “I think I won’t be satisfied until I’ve had you on every surface of this apartment.” A particularly wet slapping sound is punctuated by Auri’s ankles wrapping around the small of his back. “I think I’ll take you every way you can think of and a dozen more besides. And I think I’ll give you exactly what you wanted on Liar’s Night when you fucked yourself on your fingers and wished that they were mine.”
You fucked me until I couldn’t think– until nothing hurt.
Her blood isn’t even on Astarion’s mind. He’d meant it when he said that he wouldn’t bite her if she didn’t want him to, and even if that wasn’t the case, the climax he’s barrelling towards leaves little room in his mind for much else. The pressure of his pleasure threatens to snap.
“Are you hungry?”
When Auri speaks, Astarion’s mind short-circuits. His thrusts stutter to an almost lazy pace, grinding the end of each forward motion into her, but her eyes stay locked with his. “Don’t joke about that,” he begs. “Tease me about anything else. But not that.”
But Auri’s gaze is earnest. “I’m not teasing.”
When Astarion blinks, he feels her blood rushing down his throat. “It will hurt. Not a lot. But it will hurt.”
And his beautiful, broken, once-bard says, “That’s okay. I look best when it hurts.”
It’s a miserable sentiment, but Astarion’s only a man, and Auri asked him to trust her, so he does.
He was so close to the edge already, and so was she. Astarion tries to be gentle, but his fangs bury themselves in her neck as if his cock impaling her wasn’t enough. Auri gasps, but before Astarion can summon the discipline to tear his teeth away from the ambrosia of her flesh, she fists a hand in his curls.
“Don’t stop,” she whispers.
His hips rut into her and Auri’s hands brush against the raised scars on his back. Vitality pours down his throat: sunshine, roses, and a hint of darkness that hints at all the angst and misery she tries so hard to hide. It’s better like this, straight from her veins instead of let into a glass, and Auri moans and writhes and lifts her hips as best she can to meet the way he pounds into her.
“Come for me,” Auri says, and he’s failed at what he intended entirely. Astarion wanted to take her apart, and in a way, he has, but–
She’s done just the same to him.
Auri unravels first, holding him close as her cunt tightens around him. Her blood blooms in his mouth, turning to gold, and when his cock pulses inside her, she’s still whimpering. Auri holds him close even when he forces himself to stop drinking. He drags his tongue over the bite, savoring the last droplets of blood as Auri shudders, the last vestiges of orgasm washing over her.
And while he’s still inside her, Auri laughs.
“You’re incredible.”
Astarion almost snorts but not quite. “That’s my line.”
But it’s not a line. And hers isn’t either. Astarion’s not as hard as he was, but he thrusts fully inside her one last time, and Auri sighs, satisfied. He dips down to kiss her before he pulls his cock free, and Auri chews the inside of her lip for a brief moment before Astarion draws her tight against his chest. When Auri pulls a blanket up over them, he expects her to fall back asleep.
But she doesn’t. They lie there together for a long time; Astarion isn’t keeping track of the passing minutes, but he could stay here forever anyway. His fingers toy with her hair, and he asks, “How are you feeling?”
Auri barks out a laugh. “No regrets, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s not.” Astarion tilts her chin upward to inspect her neck. “Are you feeling lightheaded? I tried to be gentle, but–”
“I’m fine.” Auri smiles softly. “I inhaled a bagel with cream cheese before I woke you up.”
She came prepared. Of course, she did. “You were going to let me feed from you from the start.”
Auri smirks. “I was considering it.” Her mouth opens and closes like she wants to say something more, but she doesn’t.
“What is it?”
Auri says nothing for a long moment, running calculus that Astarion doesn’t know the details of. “Does the deal still stand?” she finally asks, and Astarion cocks an eyebrow. She swallows hard, one of her legs thrown up over his hips. “Can I ask you about your scars if I let you ask about mine?”
Astarion exhales through his nose. This was inevitable. That doesn’t make it any easier. “Yes.”
She buries her nose in his collarbone. “You go first.”
Astarion chuckles. “Greedy thing.” She smiles into his chest. “It’s not a pleasant story.”
“Neither is mine.”
He thought not.
“Before I start,” he says, “there are a couple of things you should know.” He bites the inside of his cheek, but Auri waits patiently. This is never easy, but it would be easier if she knew who she was. What she was. “Firstly, this was an eternity ago — more than a millennium. Secondly, I was…” he trails off. “I was a very different man, then. When I speak about this part of my life, try not to hold it against me.”
“A thousand years is enough time to change anyone, I’d venture.”
His grip on her tightens. “Twelve hundred years ago, give or take a decade or two, I was made into a vampire spawn. I’m still a vampire spawn; I can’t turn mortals and I’m not half as strong as a full vampire. And the vampire who turned me–” Auri’s fingers trace his collarbone as he summons up the courage to continue. “His name was Cazador Szarr. And he was my master for two hundred years.”
Auri never interrupts. She listens to the whole sordid tale, and she manages not to cry until he comes to the scars properly. To his credit, he doesn’t lie. He even tells her what Cazador’s plans were for him. Only then does she whisper, “How did you get away?”
He was a fool to lie before. Giving Alfira’s name when Auri had pressed – Astarion can’t take that back. And he does plan on telling her who she is eventually, so he doesn’t dig the hole any deeper. He just attributes it to the wrong woman.
“Do you–” The deception sticks in his throat. “Do you remember the friend I told you about?”
Auri nods. “Alfira.”
When Astarion reciprocates the motion, he hates himself. “She– it’s a long story, but I’d still be his if not for her. She stole me away in mind and body both. Calling her a friend is a disservice. She was…” Everything. “She was my first love,” Astarion settles on instead.
Auri rolls over so she’s lying on his chest. “What was she like?” she asks, and there’s no ill intent in it. There’s no jealousy, no possessiveness. She wipes something from the corner of his mouth; the droplets of blood that oozed from the wounds he left on her neck have dried.
Weakly, Astarion says, “You don’t want to hear about some love of mine from a thousand years ago as pillow talk.”
But Auri sees right through him. She tilts her head to the side. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but don’t act like it’s for my sake. I’m not the jealous type, particularly not when the woman in question is no doubt long-dead.”
He strokes her hair, and that will have to do for an answer because if he opens his mouth, knives might fall out. And Auri doesn’t press. She just bites her lip and says, “My turn, then.”
“Your turn, then.”
Auri breathes deeply through her nose. “Don’t think less of me,” she says, hands quivering against his chest.
Astarion trails a finger along her jawline. “I’m the monster between the two of us, love.”
But Auri shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean. I–” Her breath catches in her throat. “Don’t pity me.”
“A fair ask.” Astarion presses a kiss to the crown of her head.
“I don’t know anything about my parents except that they didn’t want me,” Auri says, and Astarion wonders how much of this story will be familiar. “I was left at a temple of Sune shortly before I turned five with nothing to my name but my name – Aurora. Even my surname is one that the temple gave me, but I liked the temple. The priests were kind and I was never hungry and then I turned ten and…” Auri trails off. “I didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t have a choice, and that’s the last time anyone in my childhood gave a shit about my opinion.”
When Auri pauses, Astarion pulls the blanket tight around her shoulders. “Why did you have to leave, then?”
Auri shrugs. “Don’t know, really. The temple came under new management, I think. I was only ten. They shipped me off to a foster home that had fewer rooms total than kids who lived there.”
“How?” Astarion furrows his brow. “Surely there are regulations–”
Auri waves him off. “There are, but the temples – they’re decentralized. My foster parents picked me up from a temple of Sune, a pair of twins from a temple of Ilmater, a boy from a temple of Milil, from a temple of Lliira, of Lathander, of Mystra. You get it.” She stops abruptly and recalibrates. “I don’t talk about this. Not with anyone.”
“I appreciate your trust.”
“I don’t give it easily,” she admits. “I try to be kind. I try to be good. But I don’t open up. I… don’t,” she finishes flatly. “I just don’t. And I can’t shake the feeling that there’s still a lot you aren’t telling me, so I just–” Her eyes flicker shut. “I don’t expect to be privy to all your secrets. We just met. But I want you to understand how vulnerable–” Her voice breaks, and she shakes her head, slipping her bracelets off one by one. “I couldn’t control anything in my life – where I lived, what I wore, how miserable I was – but when I cut, it was different.” She holds her wrist up toward the light above them, her scars ghosting across her skin. “I could channel it. I decided where I hurt and how I hurt. I controlled the pain.”
Astarion won’t ask for details. She’s given him the condensed version and she’s already shaking, inching toward a panic attack.
“Can I touch them?” he asks, and Auri’s body goes rigid. “You can say no, darling.”
But she offers her wrist to him, one line less a scar than a scab, and Astarion swallows his self-loathing to take her hand in his, pressing his lips to the place her pulse pounds.
They lie there a while longer, and this time, Auri does fall asleep. She lets him rub circles into her wrist as she succumbs to oblivion, and when she wakes again just short of an hour later, she asks, “What time is it?”
Sleep colors her voice, and Astarion smiles. “I’m not sure. I’m surprised your dog hasn’t thrown a fit about going outside.”
But Auri puts on a smile to match his. “Erica left a note. She took him back to the sorority house to give us privacy.”
“Oh, so I’ll just be in her debt forever, hm?”
“Get used to it. She’s not so bad for a rich girl, though.”
No. Astarion’s inclined to agree. “You’re all mine, then,” he says, and whether she understands what he means doesn’t really matter.
“All yours,” she agrees, and warmth billows in his chest, and if they don’t leave the bed until nightfall, Astarion doesn’t complain.