Chapter Text
Remus is regular text
Sirius is bold text
Lily is italic text
James is underlined text
Regulus is italic underlined text
Wednesday Sept 5
(08.08) Morning Lils
(08.08) How are you? Have you stabilized after yesterday yet?
(08.09) I don't think I ever will stabilize.
(08.09) But yeah, I'm ok. I thought about it a lot last night.
(08.09) I want to ask him out. I'm fucking scared shitless to but I just don't want to miss this chance. I can't stop thinking about him!
(08.10) You should! You really should. It's less than zero risk that he would say no. I saw him yesterday. He was a total wreck for you. If it wasn’t so cute it would have been pretty disturbing.
(08.10) I fucking hope so. If this is all in my head then I will dig a hole and then crawl into it head first and die.
(08.10) No risk my friend.
(08.10) How are you going to ask him out?
(08.11) Fuck, I don't know? Should I go back to the store?
(08.11) No, that sounds to much. I can't do that.
(08.11) I could ask Sirius for his number?
(08.11) Yeah, I thought about that to. Is that weird? Or desperate?
(08.12) I have a feeling that he would be fucking overjoyed for a chance to play matchmaker actually
(08.12) Hah, yeah sounds in character from what you have told me
(08.12) Have you talked to him more since yesterday morning?
(08.12) Yup, we actually talked on the phone last night
(08.13) Remus!!!
(08.13) You must tell me things like this as soon as they happen ok!
(08.13) Tell me, how was it!?
(08.13) What did you talk about?
(08.13) Did you have phone sex?
(08.13) My god Lily. No! Of course not.
(08.13) But he did talk about things he can do with his tongue, and I had to bite my hand to not moan out loud
(08.14) Fuck really…kind of sounds like phone sex? I was only kidding…
(08.14) No, he was just teasing
(08.14) It's actually really hard to figure out what is a joke and not from him. He seems interested but also, he have been joking in this flirty way since the very beginning. I'm scared that it’s just his humor and that nothing he says really is flirting.
(08.15) I really think that he's flirting. Heavily flirting. If he isn’t then fuck him! Making you believe he is would be fucking cruel.
(08.15) Mmm I guess
(08.15) But so what more than tongue action did you talk about?
(08.15) Different things. I kind of got into my rant about what I want to research about Art history you know.
(08.16) Eh yeah, I know. It's like the only times that I want to tell you to shut the fuck up when you get going about that nerdy shit <3. How much of a rant did you do?
(08.16) Not to bad…I stopped myself before I could go into detail about how social norms can be reflected in trends of artistic style of different eras…
(08.16) Zzzzzz
(08.17) Sorry I fell asleep…
(08.17) Fuck you <3
(08.17) <3
(08.17) He seemed to like my ranting actually…he wanted me to take him to museum with me…like a date.
(08.17) Remus that is the nerdiest and cutest thing I ever heard!
(08.18) I know. Fuck, I want it to happen for real. I want him and me to happen so fucking bad.
(08.18) Me to honey. I think he would be good for you.
(08.18) But so, will you ask him for the number of Glasses?
(08.18) James…the number of James.
(08.19) I will. And I will get it. And you will text him and charm him and then live a long and happy life with him and have his babies!
(08.19) Let's fucking hope so! Just imagine those babies!
(08.19) I can't. Cuteness overload!
(08.19) Right!? Fucking hell.
(08.19) I'll text him directly. If you’re lucky you guys can start to procreate before this week is over!
(08.20) Ha ha
(08.20) Don't you fucking text him that whatever you do!
(08.20) No promises
(08.20) Your humor has really gotten worse over the years
(08.20) I'm only as funny as the company I keep love
(08.20) Suck it!
(08.20) <3
Wednesday Sept 5
(08.22) Good morning
(08.28) Hi babe!
(08.28) You busy?
(08.30) Yeah, a bit, at work. We had an early delivery that I had to be here for. Now I am doing inventory. I hate doing inventory. It's the worst.
(08.30) So I much rather flirt with you!
(08.30) How are you?
(08.31) Have you thought about my tongue anymore since last we spoke 😉
(08.31) And don't pretend that you weren’t affected by that last night. I heard you make that noise!
(08.31) Oh my god
(08.31) I didn’t make a noise!
(08.32) So then you don't care at all if I talk more about things I can do with my tongue?
(08.32) There is a whole list of things…
(08.33) Please, please shut up. I'm at the fucking library with your brother.
(08.33) You what!? Lil Reggiebebbie?
(08.33) Are you two like friends now ☹?
(08.34) Nah, we are just working on the essay
(08.34) I can't believe you didn’t tell me that you would hang out with my brother today!
(08.34) I hate it
(08.34) Don’t trust anything he says about me!
(08.35) We aren’t talking about you, you self-centered prick
(08.35) Why!? You should ask him about me!
(08.35) You aren’t making any sense, should I or shouldn’t I talk to your brother about you?
(08.35) You shouldn’t but you should want to!
(08.36) God I hate you
(08.36) No babe…you “like” me <3
(08.36) I am never talking to you again. You get to much ammunition.
(08.34) Yes, you will and yes I do!
(08.35) Twat
(08.35) I actually have a favor to ask you
(08.35) Hold that thought, Gotta fix a thing
(08.35) Okay
Wednesday Sept 5
(08.35) Reg! If you tell him anything embarrassing about me then I will kill you!
(08.36) What the fuck?
(08.36) Who, why, what?
(08.37) Don't play dumb with me. Remus of course! Don't pretend like you’re not sitting next to his (probably) stunning body right this second!
(08.37) Ah, it's you he keeps texting.
(08.38) We actually have work to do. Could you please stop obsessing over him for just a few hours. I don't want to be here longer than I have to.
(08.38) Please. Like hanging out with him isn’t the most riveting part of you week you little loner.
(08.39) You know nothing about me cunt.
(08.40) Spent the majority of my life with you shithead.
(08.40) Never mind just don't tell him anything I wouldn’t want him to know please!
(08.41) I would never.
Wednesday Sept 5
(08.42) Did you really shit your pants at church when you were sixteen?
(08.43) I WILL FUCKING MURDER HIM!
(08.43) Don't. He's turning out to be quite a great source of information…
(08.43) Your first kiss was with your cousin huh?
(08.44) Oh, he is so dead! So dead!
(08.44) Could you please hit him from me? Just a little bit? Please I'll do anything!
(08.45) Of course not
(08.45) Just a little slap?
(08.45) Nope, you will just have to deal <3.
(08.46) This day is just getting worse and worse.
(08.46) But let's stop talking about my wanker brother that (for your information) once pissed himself at school because someone told him Santa wasn’t real.
(08.47) He's says that he was five years old when that happened?
(08.47) Well fuck, it still happened!
(08.47) Never mind. You had a favor to ask me dear?
(08.48) Will I finally get to read your diary Remus? I have been waiting so patiently!
(08.48) Please don't remind me of what a relentless idiot you were in the beginning of our conversation. You were so fucking annoying.
(08.48) Past tense? That's progress! I thought I annoyed you more and more everyday love!
(08.49) You do but now I am invested and can't just go to my teacher to try to swap you out.
(08.49) Aw, you are invested in me <3
(08.49) Yeah, yeah, whatever
(08.49) Favor to ask, remember? Can you focus for like a second?
(08.50) Hard but I'll try.
(08.50) Appreciated
(08.50) Could you give me the number of Jamsie-boy?
(08.50) Hmm, that depends…
(08.50) What do you need it for?
(08.50) He was just such a hottie. I want to ask him out.
(08.50) I know you are kidding but it still hurts sugar!
(08.51) You deserve it
(08.51) No obviously for Lily. She wants it.
(08.51) Fuck me, I love a woman that gets what she fucking wants!
(08.51) (And James does to)
(08.52) Of course she'll get his number! I am so hard on team Lily that I probably would have given it to her even if I didn’t know he has a massive crush on her!
(08.52) Woah, he does?
(08.52) Eh..fuck..I haven’t confirmed that before have I?
(08.53) No! You always answer vaguely because you’re such a “loyal friend”. This is exiting!
(08.53) Dammit
(08.53) Actually I don’t care! He likes her, she likes him. Let’s fucking get those lovebirds to start smashing their bits together, yeah?
(08.54) The fuck!? Smashing their bits together?
(08.54) That's one way of saying it I guess
(08.54) Only the best way!
(08.54) I am sharing him as a contact to you now!
(08.55) Got it, thanks
(08.55) So what should we talk about now dearest? Out bits maybe? Smashing?
(08.55) You should continue working and I should continue studying
(08.56) You are no fun
(08.56) But you still like me 😉
(08.56) Lord yes. Yes I do.
Wednesday Sept 5
(08.47) You should prepare mentally to get a text from the love of your life soon!
(08.48) What, how!?
(08.48) Lily asked Remus to ask me for your number so I gave it to him so he will give it to her!
(08.49) SHE DID!?
(08.49) Oh my god! She wants my number!? She will text me!?
(08.50) Fuuuuck she will text me! I will have to be cool and appealing in text! WHAT DO I DO!?
(08.50) Mate. It's not that hard. Just be yourself.
(08.50) But maybe a tad less pathetic?
(08.51) Sirius seriously! I am so bad at flirting!
(08.51) You don't have to flirt! She already likes you. Just be yourself and I promise it will be fine!
(08.51) If you say so mate.
(08.51) Damn…Is it me or is it like crazy appealing that she dares to ask for my number?
(08.52) Why does she have to be so fucking amazing!?
(08.52) It is, she seems so cool!
(08.52) So no pressure but you better make that lady swoon cause I want her in my inner circle asap!
(08.52) You’re not helping man
(08.53) Sorry!
(08.53) Go get her tiger!
(08.53) That's better.
Wednesday Sept 5
(09.01) I got it! I'm sharing him as a contact with you now!
(09.01) You can do this! And if you need any boost then you should know that Sirius slipped up and confirmed that James has a crush on you.
(09.02) Ih!!! Ok shit, ok! Fuck!
(09.02) God ok. This got real. It's GO time!
(09.03) Go get him tiger!
Wednesday Sept 5
(09.07) Hi, this is Lily
(09.10) HI! This is James!
(09.11) I know hah. You really like telling me your name huh?
(09.11) Eh, right. No it just felt polite to.
(09.11) Hi
(09.12) Is it ok that I asked for your number?
(09.12) Yes, yes super ok!
(09.13) Good
(09.14) Sooo, what are you doing?
(09.15) Oh nothing really. I got work at ten.
(09.15) Alright, fun?
(09.15) Yeah
(09.16) Ok
(09.18) Ok…well then. Bye
(09.18) Oh, bye
Wednesday Sept 5
(09.18) SIRIUS HELP! I AM FUCKING UP!
(09.18) You’re at the store right? I am coming in early. I need a hug.
(09.19) Shit ok, yeah, I'm here. Come over directly and well figure it out <3.
Wednesday Sept 5
(09.20) Remus I don't think his interested ☹
(09.21) He hardly said anything and didn’t seem to want to talk.
(09.21) It's fine, I'll get over it.
(09.22) Are you home? I'm coming to you.
(09.22) Yeah, ok.
Wednesday Sept 5
17.05
Remus was freezing. The weather had dropped several degrees during the day and he had not been prepared for the chilly fall winds when he left his flat that morning. He tried to pull up the collar of his cardigan to protect his neck from some of the chill, but it didn’t help much. Grumbling under his breath he flexed his cold hands in his pockets and just tried to concentrate on walking fast so he could get home to the warmth sooner.
When he left his flat that morning it had felt like a good idea to take a walk instead of riding his bike like he usually did. He hadn’t planned to leave early from his study session with Regulus just to powerwalk over to Lilys place to check on her. She was fine, a bit annoyed and in her head but fine. Lily was sane enough to not discard a person completely based on a five-minute text conversation. But still, she was only human, and the short answers James had given her made her unsure of herself. Remus had tried to build up her confidence again but after a while he figured that what she really needed was a distraction rather than a pep-talk. So, they spent the afternoon playing video games and listening to music like they had so many times before.
Now he wished that he had taken his bike. Lilys place was around an hour walk from his and the cold winds combined with his stiff body from lounging on the couch half the day was making his joints hurt. It had been great hanging out with her but also, in the back of his head, he knew that he would have to stay up late tonight to make up for the missed time studying.
Regulus had given him a narrow look full of judgement earlier when Remus had stumbled up from the table they sat at, collected his notes and given the excuse that he had to help a friend before he left in a hurry. He probably thought that Remus was running away to hang out with his brother. Valid assumption since Remus had spent a good chunk of the study session that morning on his phone texting with Sirius.
It was weird to be around Regulus. Him and Sirius shared some features, black hair, sharp cheekbones and silver-grey eyes. But they were so unalike in every other sense. Regulus had a coldness to him while Sirius always seemed to emanate warmth. Regulus was reserved and Sirius was almost ridiculously outspoken. Besides that Regulus had tone of passive judgement in everything he said, and Remus had the constant feeling that Regulus was way, way smarter than him and that he knew it. He would have to text him when he got home. To say sorry and see if he could make it up to him by taking on an extra share of the assignment. It would be a long night.
First, he would have to get home and put on about fifteen layers of sweaters to get warm again. The washed out t-shirt he picked that morning didn’t give him any sort of protection from the wind. And his favorite patched up cardigan, that he couldn’t button up since it lost most of its buttons, wasn’t doing much either to keep him warm. He picked up the pace even more, turned a corner but quickly halted to a stop when he saw a person in front of him. Just a few steps away on the pavement he instantly recognized the mop of messy black hair of Sirius.
Sirius was bent down, showing his profile to the place where Remus stood. He was hovering over an old motorcycle. Black and grey but with some rusty parts and a cracked light in the back. Remus couldn’t hear him over the wind, but he seemed to be talking to himself. Cheeks flushed pink and obviously frustrated at something with the bike. Remus took one step forward and realized that Sirius was struggling with the lock of the bike on its back tire. He had his hair half up in a bun on the top of his head. The rest of the long strands of black were dancing in the wind, getting caught in his face, on his lips and in his eyes. He angrily pushed them away from his face several times in between struggling with the lock and Remus could now hear how he was cursing loudly and vividly by himself.
Remus heart was in his throat. It was both terrifying and mesmerizing seeing Sirius in person after the last week of texting this beautiful stranger. The only time that Remus had seen him before had been that time in the music store and he had been stunned by his beauty then. But now. Now he couldn’t breathe. Sirius was an ethereal, magnetizing kind of beutiful. His sharp cheekbones, now flushed scarlet by the anger and struggle with the lock. The smooth shape of his nose in profile and perfectly pursed lips that looked too soft to be legal. Remus dared to be still a moment to roam his eyes over Sirius whole being in a way that he hadn’t dared when he was peaking on him at the store. Sirius wore a black leather jacket over a black t-shirt with a print that Remus couldn’t really see the details of. He was bent down, one knee on the ground and the other hunched. Jeans, also black, low and tight in a way that didn't really seem decent in the still bright light of the afternoon. He wore large Docs with yellow shoelaces that he hadn’t bother tightening up properly.
Remus took a large inhale of air and tried to steady himself. This was bad. He should turn around. Sirius hadn’t seen him yet. Even if he did, he probably wouldn’t know that it was Remus in front of him. He should just turn around right now, take another path around this street and go home. Delete the number of this beautiful man and block him so he never would do something so embarrassing as believing that a guy like this would have any interest in someone like Remus. That is what he should do. Right?
Remus realized that he had taken another step forward. What was he doing? He couldn’t walk up to him? He just couldn’t. That was not the way Remus operated. When in doubt just stay silent and try to disappear had been the voice in his head for years and years growing up. Just don't take any space, don’t draw attention. Don’t exist because you will just embarrass yourself. It had taken him a lot of time to realize that he had what his therapist called a phobia for shame. He was so scared of feeling ashamed and embarrassed that he had become a master of hiding from any circumstances were that feeling could appear. Mostly all it took was to stay silent but often he just chose to not be in any social gatherings so he could avoid the risk of doing or saying something stupid.
He took another step forward.
“What would Sirius do”? That was what they had joked about and it was actually not far from the strategy that him and his therapist had worked on together the last few years. The key wasn’t to think what someone else would have done in his stead. But to think “What would I do if this was a book”. It felt silly when the therapist suggested it in the beginning but over time he had learned that this trick worked very well for him. By thinking that the situation he was scared of might as well be fictional he could let go of some of the fear. This reality could simply be the words that some author decided to put down on a paper and not his real life. When thinking in that way, Remus could dare to stay in intimidating situations and say what was on his mind. If the shame hit him then he would calm himself by thinking that this might as well wouldn’t be real. This could be a story, like all the other stories that he read all the time. So what did it matter?
With a determined exhale he took the last step forward so he was standing close next to Sirius hunched over body. His head was still turned down cursing and fighting with the lock and his wild hair. Remus clenched his fists in the pockets of his jeans, raised his left boot forward and gave the back tire of the motorcycle a small soft kick.
“You need some help?” He said. It came out as almost a whisper but loud enough for Sirius to hear him at this close distance.
Sirius hands stopped what they were doing in a sudden motion. He turned his head up and looked straight at Remus with his beautiful silver-grey eyes.