Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is italic text

James is underlined text

Monday aug 27

(14.44) Hi, this is Remus. You should read chapter 10-18, collect your notes, send it and then I'll fix the rest, yeah?

(14.45) Whaaat?

(14.45) Who is this?

(14.46) I mean sounds riveting but I'm not reading some strangers diary without some incentive 😉 .

(14.47) I don't keep a fucking diary.

(14.47) The notes.

(14.47) In the course literature.

(14.47) Just read them by Friday okay? It's not much.

(14.48) Honestly you should keep a diary. You seem to have such an outspoken and intriguing personality that surely those pages would be just a treat to read.

(14.48) Seriously?

(14.49) Siriusly?

(14.49) WHAT are you talking about?

(14.50) WHAT are YOU talking about!? Jeez sometimes you make me crazy.

(14.50) This game we play must stop

(14.50) It's torture. Okay, I'll read your diary!

(14.51) ?

(14.51) 😉

(14.52) Okay, so I am not sure what the fuck you're on about. So I'll spell it out for you:

I'm your partner. From the Art history course that we just had the intro class of. I got you as my partner for the essay that we are supposed to write.

(14.52) Are you following or should I use bigger words?

(14.53) Aaaaah.

(14.53) Oh blessed day, he got it.

(14.54) Ha ha, right. I kind of missed the intro class, so I'm still at a loss. What are we partnering up on?

(14.54) I'm still up for giving you notes on your diary.

(14.54) I'll show you mine if you show me yours?

(14.55) Oh joy, I got the bum who can't even show up for the first day of the course. Lucky me.

(14.55) I don't keep a fucking diary.

(14.55) And if I did then I wouldn't fucking ask for notes in it would I.

(14.56) We are supposed to write a ten page essay about the historic landmarks of the evolution of art.

(14.56) Hey, calm down, I'm kidding ok. No need to get your knickers in a twist.

(14.57) Are they in a twist?

(14.57) How do they look 😉?

(14.57) What the fuck.

(14.58) I'm writing to miss McGonagall to change my partner.

(14.58) Good luck and bye you fucking bum.

(14.59) Hey, no sorry I'm kidding!

(14.59) Let's partner up.

(15.00) Go team.

(15.02) You still there?

(15.05) Hey?

(15.07) Ah fuck.

Tuesday aug 28

(11.02) So apparently, I can't just “Switch partners” but have to be an adult and “Collaborate to the best of my abilities”.

(11.02) Fucking bollocks.

(11.02) So, I'm stuck with you.

(11.03) Will you please just read the assigned fucking chapters and send me the notes?

(11.04) BABE!

(11.04) You're back, my heart is full again!

(11.05) I was lost in the wilderness without you.

(11.05) But now I'm Never gonna give you up.

(11.05) Never gonna let you down.

(11.05) Never gonna run around and desert you.

(11.07) Babe…?

(11.08) Ok shit, sorry, yes the chapters I'll read.

(11.09) Thanks.

(11.10) Uh babe?

(11.10) What book am I supposed to read from?

(11.11) Oh my god.

(11.11) What have I done to deserve this.

(11.11) “The language worth a thousand words” – By Rowena Ravenclaw

(11.12) You truly are the best.

(11.12) What is your name?

(11.12) I must have something to write hearts around in my diary.

(11.13) You truly are the worst.

(11.13) I feel drained just from two days of interaction with your sorry arse.

(11.13) I can just imagine how the pages of your diary must feel.

(11.13) My name is Remus.

(11.14) Just like it says on the fucking email we all got about the assignment and the essay partner.

(11.14) I feel like you really know me already <3.

(11.14) But wait…Remus?

(11.15) Yes?

(11.15) That is a very strange name. And are you a guy? Suddenly I get why you got so offended by the knickers comment…

(11.16) Or, I mean no fucking judgment. If you as a guy prefers to wear knickers then be my guest.

(11.16) Sounds kind of hot actually.

(11.16) I don't.

(11.17) What?

(11.17) Never mind. What fucking name is even Sirius? You have like the least right ever calling my name strange.

(11.18) Wait how do you know my name?

(11.18) Have you stalked me?

(11.18) Fuck, is this like some predator shit?

(11.19) What, no it's in the fucking email!

(11.19) From the teacher.

(11.19) … ;)

(11.20) You were kidding.

(11.20) Yes babe, I was kidding <3.

(11.20) I think I hate you.

(11.21) Oh, sugar cube, keep the dirty talk for later.

(11.21) Now I have an actual question about this essay.

(11.21) ?

(11.21) And please don't laugh at me.

(11.21) It's kind of embarrassing.

(11.22) ?

(11.22) You promise?

(11.22) To not laugh?

(11.22) Honestly. No.

(11.22) Ah, keeping it cold still, no I get it. I like it ruff to.

(11.22) Ok, so here is my question lover.

(11.24) ?

(11.25) Are you going to write the fucking question?

(11.25) HAH I knew that you were interested.

(11.25) Ok I'll bite.

(11.25) (I actually will bite you later babe, but you'll love it).

(11.26) My question is:

(11.26) WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I TAKE SOME FUCKING ART HISTORY COURSE!?

(11.26) Whaaat?

(11.27) I am not a student dude, I have no idea what you are talking about with the chapter reading and shit.

(11.27) Sorry mate.

(11.27) Hope you still love me <3

Thursday aug 28

(16.06) Babe!

(16.06) What are you doing?

(16.06) And more importantly...

(16.06) What are you wearing?

(16.07) Why the fuck are you writing me?

(16.07) I miss your sweet words <3

(16.08) So did you figure out why I was assigned as your partner when I don't even take the course?

(16.08) Yeah.

(16.08) Sooo?

(16.09) They wrote the wrong name on the list.

(16.09) My partner is your brother Regulus.

(16.09) He says hi.

(16.09) And fuck you.

(16.09) Oh, fuck.

(16.09) Really?

(16.10) Shit ok…can you ask him something from me?

(16.10) Ok?

(16.10) Tell him to please go and fuck something spikey up his pale arse please

(16.10) Wow...

(16.11) Don't think I will say that actually.

(16.11) No brotherly love there I take it?

(16.11) Nah, I don't know, he's just a little cunt.

(16.11) An inherited trait it seems…

(16.11) Ha ha!

(16.11) But so, whats up? How's the class?

(16.12) I'm not encouraging this.

(16.12) Why?

(16.12) I am bored and you are just so fun, truly the sunshine of my life.

(16.13) Don't you have anything better to do than harassing strangers?

(16.13) Just work, and it is a very slow day in the store today. So nope, nothing more than you babe.

(16.13) Which store?

(16.14) The music store on Lumos street, you know it?

(16.14) Mmm yup.

(16.14) Oh, are you that guy?

(16.14) ?

(16.14) How do you look?

(16.15) What guy? Why do you ask?

(16.15) My friend has a crush on a guy in that music store.

(16.15) REALLY!

(16.15) TELL ME!

(16.15) Is he a hot friend?

(16.16) She. And yes, she is.

(16.16) What do you look like?

(16.16) Ah, she… well no time to be picky. I am a gorgeous specimen of a man. Long black hair, steely eyes, legs for days.

(16.17) Oooh... ok not you then.

(16.17) What ☹? Are you sure?

(16.17) Her crush has brown short hair and glasses, so yeah, sorry.

(16.18) JAMES! She has a crush on James. God, I must tell him. How does she look, age, number?

(16.18) Hah, like I would tell. No way.

(16.19) But I don't mind some more information about this James so I can get that friend of the year badge I have been eying for a while now. Is he single, is he nice, is he straight?

(16.19) Hey that's unfair, I'll only spill details if you do!

(16.20) Well sure, she is single, nice and straight. There you go <3.

(16.20) Well, hmm yes but I want something more.

(16.20) Tell me one physical attribute and one thing about her personality. Trade it for details about Jamsie-boy yeah?

(16.21) Hah, Jamsie-boy. I'm telling her that.

(16.21) But alright sure.

(16.21) Hmmm.

(16.21) Physical: She has red hair.

(16.22) Personality: She is literally the most likable fucking person in the world. Everybody loves her, it's like her curse because she does not love everyone back and has to deal with everyone thinking that they are her best friend all the time.

(16.22) Wow…

(16.22) So…

(16.23) How long have you had a crush on her huh?

(16.23) What, hah, no, I don't have a crush hah. She's not my type.

(16.23) Interesting…

(16.24) Anyway. She sounds great. Are you sure that you are her friend and not just another person who loves her but she has to endure because you think you're her best friend 😉.

(16.24) Valid question actually. No, I'm sure. She's been my best friend since preschool. If she secretly hates me then I am very impressed by her acting skills.

(16.25) Ah, I see. You know if it's true how you describe her then it says a lot about you being her best friend. I assume that she wouldn't pick just anyone to be that close with 😊.

(16.25) Hah, I don't know. Dumb luck I think is more likely.

(16.26) Anyway, time to fess up.

(16.26) Tell me ALL about Jamsie-boy.

(16.26) Alright alright. So, James is…

(16.26) THE FUCKING BEST

(16.27) No I am not kidding, exaggerating or dreaming. He is. He’s like the most attentive, lovely human ever. He saved me to many times to count from my own stupidity. He's smart, but also stupid in the most endearing way. He's an hopeless romantic, animal lover, and a amazing guitar player. He is a great listener. He's also a fit hunk with a huge dick and like one trillion abs.

(16.28) Um…

(16.28) So you know I have to ask now… do you have a crush on him too?

(16.28) I mean he sounds great…and you sound…in love?

(16.29) Babe u jealous?

(16.29) I love it.

(16.30) No honeyfluff I don't have a crush on James. He's like my brother. And I think maybe the straightest ally I know. Love him like nothing else but wouldn't touch that in a sexual way even if my life depended on it.

(16.30) Makes me kind of queasy to think about.

(16.31) Would you stop calling me babe? It is so weird.

(16.31) Never <3.

(16.31) Anyway does that suffice for your friend of the year badge you think? I can give you more precise dick measurements if it's needed?

(16.32) Hah, no please that's enough.

(16.32) Or no, actually one more thing. Is he single?

(16.32) So fucking single.

(16.33) And has a thing for likable redheads…

(16.33) So your friend should really make her move. I have good feeling about this.

(16.34) I'll tell her, thanks 😊.

(16.34) Look at us having a full conversation. You even added a smiley! I think you love me!

(16.36) Babe?

(16.38) Sugar?

(16.42) You really are the worst pretend boyfriend.

Thursday aug 30

(16.45) Jamsieeee

(16.46) Your key is under the doormat.

(16.46) What?

(16.46) …

(16.47) Fuck I forgot my key!

(16.47) Hah, yes I know, I saw it on the counter after you left this morning. It's under the doormat now, no need freaking out.

(16.48) I want to work late tonight ok, gotta get that bass fixed for “you know who” and I don't wanna rush it. But there's leftovers in the fridge. You can have it all, I will pick something up and eat here.

(16.48) I love you <3.

(16.49) I know <3.

(16.49) But that's actually not why I wrote.

(16.49) JAMES!

(16.50) I have spectacular news.

(16.50) ?

(16.51) If you finished the last episode of Life is strange without me I will cry

(16.51) You didn't right!?

(16.51) Please like I would do that without you.

(16.52) Happened last time…

(16.52) Oh…right.

(16.52) Well no, that's not it! I have it on good authority that one of our customers has a crush on you.

(16.53) And apparently this customer is like the best person in the world according to my source of information.

(16.53) And…

(16.53) She has red hair.

(16.54) Whooooaaa…you don't think...?

(16.54) It could be Jamsie… It could be her!

(16.54) It could also be that old bird that came in because she spit to much phlegm in her trumpet…

(16.55) Ah right…Mrs Figg. My excitement is decreasing suddenly.

(16.55) I don't think it is though. My source is a student at the course my shitty wanker of a brother is taking. And the student doesn't sound old in the way he's writing. And he is best friends with the girl that wants to climb you like a tree. So, I think it is her man.

(16.56) I am going to die.

(16.56) If it is her then I will die. DIE DEAD.

(16.57) Fuck! Her bass! What if I fuck it up! God, ok I will definitely not come home tonight. I am going to treat that thing like it is a fucking newborn kitten.

(16.57) …Make it purr?

(16.57) You are terrible.

(16.58) <3

(16.58) But hi hello hey, why are you texting some dude with perfect taste in friends? What haven't you told me young sir!

(16.58) Are you canoodling with a student now?

(16.59) Hah, I wish. No, he thought I was Regulus and wrote about some school assignment and I was bored so I kind of wrote back a bit.

(16.59) But he is very fun to tease…a lot of swearing.

(16.59) And you know what swearing does to me <3.

(17.00) Hah yeah I do. Is he gay?

(17.00) Probably not. Doesn't seem into it so I should stop.

(17.01) But he writes you back?

(17.01) Yeah or… well he did... then he stopped :/.

(17.01) Ah sorry man, You'll get the next one!

(17.02) If you're lucky then Mrs. Figg will text you later about picking up her phlegm free trumpet. She seems like a wild one.

(17.02) One can only hope <3.

Thursday aug 30

(16.48) Lils, how much do you love me?

(16.49) Uh, to the sun and back love? What's up?

(16.49) I have some information that will make you love me even more.

(16.50) I am listening?

(16.50) You know your crush at the music store?

(16.50) Glasses?

(16.50) Yeah, Glasses.

(16.51) I know juicy information about him.

(16.51) WHAT!?

(16.51) HOW!?

(16.51) TELL ME!

(16.51) NOW!

(16.52) HAH, desperate much?

(16.52) Fuck, yeah I guess. He is just so fucking cute. How do you know information about him?

(16.52) WAIT, DID YOU SPEAK TO HIM?

(16.53) No, chill. I spoke to his friend.

(16.54) You know the idiot that pretended to be my partner for the Art history essay? He kept writing to me and it turns out he works with Glasses at the music store.

(16.54) OMG!

(16.54) Remus I haven't been this exited since you fell arse first on Marlene's birthday cake last year.

(16.55) This is gold!

(16.55) Hey don't remind me of my darkest day when I'm trying to give you invaluable information here.

(16.55) Sorry sorry hah. But waiiiit...

(16.56) This friend of Glasses… is it the black haired guy?

(16.56) The one who got you to practically leave drool marks on the floor last time we were there?

(16.56) Is it!?

(16.56) Hmm yes, well yes. But I didn't leave drool marks…

(16.56) I just can appreciate when I see a living image of a greek god in front of me ok…

(16.57) I think your exact words were “I would have that guys babies in a second”.

(16.57) Hm, can't recall.

(16.57) Anyway yeah that's him. And I am kind of freaking out about it.

(16.57) He calls me babe!

(16.58) I can't breathe.

(16.58) WHAT!?

(16.58) No, no he's kidding. He have been kidding in a flirty way the whole conversation. I showed you the first messages remember. It seems to be his cruel twisted humor.

(16.59) But I am dying. The hottest guy I ever seen is texting me and I'm acting like a total drip.

(16.59) Hmm, right. You probably aren't honey, you are funnier than you think.

(16.59) I asked him why the fuck he was writing to me.

(17.00) Ah…eh…foreplay?

(17.00) Hah, yeah sure let's call it that.

(17.00) But yeah, I have info about Jamsie-boy!

(17.01) Jamsie…boy?

(17.01) Glasses! His name is James!

(17.01) Oh! James, James James James. I like it, cute name but not to cute. More, I want more!

(17.01) Hold on, I'll copy what he wrote:

(17.02) “Alright alright. So, James is…

THE FUCKING BEST

No I am not kidding, exaggerating or dreaming. He is. He’s like the most attentive, lovely human ever. He saved me to many times to count from my own stupidity. He's smart, but also stupid in the most endearing way. He's an hopeless romantic, animal lover, and a amazing guitar player. He is a great listener. He's also a fit hunk with a huge dick and like one trillion abs. “

(17.02) The fuck!

(17.02) Why am I panting. Gotta chill, jeez.

(17.03) I also asked him if he was single and yes, he is and apparently likes redheads…

(17.03) Remus…

(17.03) Did you tell the hot friend about me?

(17.04) Because I will kill you.

(17.05) REMUS!?

(17.05) Um… only that you have red hair and are the best and most likable person ever! I had to trade information ok, sorry sorry, sorry!

(17.05) Not sorry.

(17.05) Hmm, ok I will not kill you.

(17.05) This time.

(17.06) But please for all that is holy do NOT let hottie 2 know more about me so he can tell hottie 1. I need to pick up my bass next week from repairs there and honestly I think that I will combust into a cloud of shame if I know that HE knows that it’s me and that I am crushing on him.

(17.06) Promise?

(17.06) I promise!

(17.07) But Lils this is good, he will like you! I think he already does, I saw the way he looked at you when we were there last week. Who wouldn't, you are smart, beautiful and funny!

(17.07) Shut uuuppp.

(17.07) Never <3.

(17.07) <3

(17.08) I can’t believe that you're texting that guy.

(17.08) I’m not really. Couldn’t figure out what to say to his last text so I kind of didn't answer at all.

(17.08) Remus come on!

(17.08) It's fucking time to grow some balls man. TEXT HIM SOMETHING CUTE!

(17.09) Hey, my balls are fully grown thank you very much.

(17.09) I can't. It's just to much pressure now that I know that it is him.

(17.09) He is just to out of my league, it’s embarrassing.

(17.09) And don't argue against me.

(17.10) You know what, sometimes I think that you are just simply the dumbest human ever brought to this earth and that it is my heavy, heavy life burden to educate you so that you can walk through this life not looking like an actual idiot.

(17.10) You are a C A T C H Remus.

(17.10) By any standard.

(17.10) You have no idea the amount of people male and female that during the years have asked me such embarrassing questions about you and your romantic life because they wanted to get some of your lanky arse.

(17.10) I should be paid good money for being on call all hours of the day just to dismiss swooning idiots from you.

(17.10) It is draining.

(17.10) So please shut the fuck up and text the cute boy that is flirting with you, yeah?

(17.11) Dude.

(17.11) That’s an order.

(17.11) Hopefully James likes his women bossy…

(17.12) Yeah otherwise I'm truly fucked love.

(17.12) Truly.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is italic text

James is underlined text

Friday aug 31

(10.31) I have one more question.

(10.33) Babe! You can ask my anything you want.

(10.33) Yes, I am single.

(10.33) Yes, I am the handsomest in the whole land.

(10.33) Yes, I sing like an angel but fuck like the devil.

(10.33) Yes, I can help you with your homework even though Art history sounds like the worst waste of time.

(10.34) Right. Not my questions.

(10.34) And it's not a waste of time.

(10.34) It's actually very

(10.34) Whatever I don't need to tell you.

(10.34) My question is about Jamsie-boy you big narcissist.

(10.35) I am very, very hurt. But go on. James is like my second favorite topic of conversation.

(10.35) What does the mysterious redhead want to know?

(10.35) No, it's me who wants to know actually.

(10.35) You described him like kind of dream of a man yeah?

(10.36) Yeees he is, aaaand?

(10.36) Well, such dreamy guys often know that they are dreamy and that often makes them kind of… well, arsehole fuckboys right?

(10.36) Ah.

(10.37) You want to know if he is a shithead that fucks around with customers and will hurt your best friends feelings?

(10.37) Mmm, yup pretty much.

(10.37) So? Is he?

(10.38) Look I guess my word isn’t very trustworthy on the topic. Cleary I am a godsent wingman, best friend and overall would do anything for the guy. So, if he was a fuckboy then I would probably give him a lot of shit about it. But, to be honest I wouldn’t do anything to stop him. Sorry to say, loyal to a fucking fault.

(10.38) Ah.

(10.39) With that said. James is the fucking furthest from a womanizing douche there is. He has had 2 girlfriends in his life. One in preschool that lasted five beautiful hours. One in collage that lasted a full serious month after the dumped him for being “Too nice”. After that he probably dated like a handful of girls but nothing lasted. He treats everyone with glorious respect and he is honestly too big of an romantic to even know what fucking around means.

(10.40 Hmm.

(10.40) You don't believe me?

(10.40) I think I do. Not sure why but yeah, I do.

(10.40) Good. He is the best really. I am lucky to have him as a best friend.

(10.40) Ok.

(10.41) Soooo...

(10.41) So?

(10.41) I don't know, like how are you? What are you doing? And more importantly, who are you goddamn stranger!?

(10.42) Whoa, calm down. I'm just Remus.

(10.42) Just Remus huh. Weird double name but I don’t judge.

(10.42) Hah, very funny.

(10.42) Always.

(10.43) So Just Remus, or maybe JR if you prefer it? Can you tell me something about yourself?

(10.43) I prefer Remus.

(10.43) Um, no, or what? Just anything?

(10.43) Anything.

(10.44) Fuck. I don't know. I am a shit driver?

(10.44) Ha ha, very random. You are? Why?

(10.45) I don't know. Just, it's pretty fucking hard to drive right?

(10.45) No actually it is very, very easy.

(10.45) Well, I guess not for me. I kind of gave it up after the fourth dent on my moms car.

(10.46) Haha! Poor car.

(10.46) Nah poor me, biking everywhere is annoying.

(10.46) Hah!

(10.47) So, you live with your mom then?

(10.47) God no.

(10.47) No, no I dented her car when I lived at home during collage.

(10.47) Haven’t driven since.

(10.47) I have a flat.

(10.48) Ah… good.

(10.48) Did you try to figure out if I'm a sad middle-aged man living with my parents?

(10.48) Hah, more if your fifteen, living at home and just some prodigy that takes unnecessary Uni-classes.

(10.48) Hah. No.

(10.49) I'm 23.

(10.49) I see...

(10.49) …And you?

(10.49) Me what?

(10.49) Come on man

(10.50) 😉 I'm 24 babe.

(10.50) Stop that.

(10.50) Never JR <3.

Friday aug 31

(23.03) Stop calling me JR

(23.07) Well hello, up late?

(23.07) What do you want me to call you babe?

(23.08) Nuthing, just nor JS

(23.08) JTr

(23.08) Fuck! JR!

(23.08) You want me to “Fuck JR”? Babe, is this a booty call?

(23.08) Naaarrrgh.

(23.09) Hah, what?

(23.09) stipid phoen

(23.09) phone! STUPID

(23.09) Are you drunk or having a seizure?

(23.10) Remus?

(23.11) Hellooo?

(23.13) Sorry my friend took my phone. Drunk, no sesure

(23.13) sesjure, seixure?

(23.13) How the fuck do I spell ittt?

(23.13) I can't believe that you are drunk texting me.

(23.13) Cantt belivve YOU are text in me at wall

(23.14) Huh?

(23.14) Remus?

(23.21) Good night <3

Saturday sept 1

(04.15) Fuck that's embarrassing. Sorry for texting. Going to go and puke my insides out now. Bye.

Saturday sept 1

(08.11) HAH! I love this! Please wake up so I can taunt you!

(08.20) Meh, you are no fun.

Saturday sept 1

(12.08) I hate everything.

(12.10) You are alive! How are things this lovely day?

(12.10) Loud and bright. It is horrible.

(12.11) Did you have fun last night dearest?

(12.11) I did, until someone started handing out shots. I will never drink again.

(12.11) I'm sure <3

(12.12) Sorry for texting you.

(12.12) Don't be sorry, it was great!

(12.12) mmm

(12.13) What are you doing today?

(12.13) Surviving. That's my one goal of the day.

(12.13) Have you ever been so drunk that you bought yourself a massage chair?

(12.13) Asking for a friend.

(12.14) HAH, no can't say that I have? Did you really?

(12.14) Yup, apparently I wanted a massage that bad last night that I did some online shopping.

(12.14) It was very expensive.

(12.14) I will starve but at least I'll be fucking relaxed right?

(12.15) I just snorted out tea from my nose from laughing.

(12.15) This is amazing.

(12.15) Glad to entertain.

(12.15) God, can't stop laughing!

(12.15) I'm sure that you can return it babe

(12.16) Yeah, yeah, it will work itself out.

(12.16) If you needed a massage that bad you just could have asked you know 😉

(12.16) Nah, my friends aren’t that good at massages.

(12.17) I meant me.

(12.17) Oh I know.

(12.17) Meh you’re no fun, do you ever flirt?

(12.17) I flirt!

(12.17) Not with me!

(12.17) Don't be weird.

(12.17) I need to go and shower my naked body now. Bye weirdo.

(12.18) Hot. If that was flirting then I'll take it!

(12.18) Have nice shower babe <3

Saturday sept 1

(15.33) ----Sirius calling----

“Eh..hi? Are you calling me?“

“Hi, hello, yes I'm there soon!”

“Wha…what?”

“Yeah, yeah, you could meet me on the way, sure.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Of course, yes, yes, bring your friends too.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“Hah, you’re so funny. Of course your Krav Maga friends can come.”

“…”

“Haha, yes, sure I am almost there, bring everyone!”

“Sirius…are you ok?”

“Mhm.”

“Are you…are you like in danger or something?”

“Mhm, yes, yes that’s great!”

“Oh shit, really? You are?

“Yes hah, yeah.”

“Fuck ok, I don't know, ok. Should I call the police, where are you?”

“You’re so funny…”

“Ok, if I should call the police then say…umm…”

“Say...Babe!”

“I, I don't think…”

“Sirius?”

“…”

“Sirius!?”

“…”

“Fuck me! SIRIUS!!??”

“Hey, sorry ok. I think I got rid of them.”

“Are you ok?”

“Y..y..yeah, or no, I don’t know. F…f..fuck I'm sorry”.

“What should I do!?”

“ *Breathing* ”

“Sirius?”

“I…I'm sorry, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Your number was the f…f..first I…”

“ *Breathing* “

“It's ok, it's ok, just breathe okay? Are you sure that you are safe?”

“Y..yeah, yeah I think so, they stopped following me. I don’t wanna look behind me but I can't hear them anymore.”

“Fuck ok. What happened?”

“Or, you don't have to tell me. Just make sure that you get somewhere safe ok.”

“Please don't hang up!”

“No, fuck. No, I'm not going to ok? “

“I'm here.”

“Yeah.”

“ *Breathing* ”

“…”

“I'm really sorry I called you, that is so weird.”

“Don't worry about it, really it's ok.”

“I just – I panicked. James didn’t answer and your number was right there next to his. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it's ok, yeah? It's ok.“

“Are you sure the danger is over now? Where are you?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so. I am almost by the edge of town so I should start to see more people soon.”

“Fuck, that was so fucking scary.”

“My heart is beating like crazy.”

“Ok good. Or, I mean about being safe, not the scary part.”

“Hah, yeah I get that."

“Do…do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I... yeah sure. I mean it's stupid. I was just out jogging and… well I guess I sort of ran right into some kind of biker gang.“

“You…what?”

“Yeah, I took the path of the forest on the left side of the beach you know? And I guess they had some kind of team meeting or whatever and I kind of just ran into the meeting.”

“You ran into a biker gangs meeting?”

“Well, yes, I was listening to music and didn’t really think about my surroundings ok. So yeah, suddenly I am being stopped by a fucking giant biker monster and his merry band of racist homophobes and they start to taunt me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, fuck them.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought that they would fucking beat me up. Fuck I nearly pissed my pants.“

“I guess it was enough to call me a twinkie and push me around a bit though. Then they let me go.”

“But then as I walked away they started to follow me.”

“So yeah, that's when I called."

“Fuck, that sounds…That’s horrible. Are you hurt?”

“No, no I was just fucking scared shitless.”

“Damn this is doing nothing for me trying to impress you huh?”

“I will forever be the guy who almost pissed his pants now. Great.”

“Hah, no don't worry. Pissing your pants is not the worst quality you have showed me so far.”

“Ey, fuck you *laughing* ”

“Just being honest babe.”

“REMUS! You called me babe!”

“What was it you said now again? Yeah, don't get your knickers in a twist.”

“Whoa, you are so much more fun on the phone.”

“I aim to please.”

“Maybe it's just your hangover making you all flirty?”

“Mm yeah, maybe.”

“…”

“….”

“Hey, why was my number next to James’ in your phone? What do you have me saved as?”

“Hah, oh. ’Just Remus’ of course. It is your given name after all right?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“ Ha ha, yup.”

“…”

“…”

“Look, hey thanks for like… answering and you know, not hanging up.”

“No worries, I’m just glad if I could help.”

“…”

“…”

“Sooo… What are you wearing?”

“Alright, hanging up now.”

“Hah, ok bye Just Remus.”

“Yeah, yeah bye Sirius.”

“…”

“…”

“You haven’t hanged up yet?”

“Yeah…”

“Are…are you sure that you’re safe?”

“Yeah, yes, I'm sure.“

“Thank you Remus.”

“Ok good. Goodbye Sirius.”

-----Call ended------

Saturday sept 1

(16.02) Lily!

(16.03) Yeah?

(16.03) He called me!

(16.03) Who?

(16.03) Wait no? He as in HE?

(16.03) Yes, Sirius. It was scary, he was being followed by some arsehole bikers and called me while pretending he was meeting up with my gang of fictional Krav Maga friends.

(16.04) Whoa, shit, is he ok?

(16.04) Yeah, he said that they stopped following him, I thinks his ok but fuck, he sounded so scared.

(16.04) Damn that is intense. Glad he's alright.

(16.04) But why did he call you?

(16.05) He tried James but he didn’t answer so my number was the next in the list apparently.

(16.05) Ah ok. Fuck, that's scary.

(16.05) And like weird? Weird talking to him?

(16.05) Not that weird actually, first it was just fucked up and I didn’t know what to do. But when he calmed down it felt pretty normal.

(16.05) He has a very nice voice

(16.06) Yeah?

(16.06) Yeah like, darker then you would think somehow.

(16.06) Honey you are so fucked.

(16.06) I know ☹.

(16.06) But so, how did you leave it?

(16.07) I just made sure he was ok and then said bye.

(16.07) Hmm.

(16.07) What! What should I have said?

(16.07) Please marry me lovely pretty man?

(16.07) Hah, no maybe not that.

(16.07) But you could like have prolonged the conversation?

(16.08) Please you know I suck at talking.

(16.08) You really don't hun. It's all in your head.

(16.08) I don't believe youuu.

(16.08) Fuuuuuck yoooou <3.

(16.08) <3

Saturday sept 1

(16.52) You ok?

(16.52) Yes, home now.

(16.52) James has pampered me, the lovely darling. Made me food and drawn me a bath and everything.

(16.52) Ah, good.

(16.53) Are you sure you’re not dating James? Sound kind of relationshippy and I don’t want my friend to embarrass herself with a taken guy.

(16.53) Haha, yes I am sure. He is just an angel.

(16.53) And we live together so I guess we are kind of relationshippy though very platonic.

(16.53) Oh, right. Is that nice? Living with your best friend?

(16.54) The best. I'm very lucky to have a best friend that likes to cook and clean so maybe I am biased.

(16.54) Yeah sounds like it, what does he get out of it if he’s the one doing all the cooking and cleaning?

(16.54) Hey, I never said that he does ALL of it, just that he enjoys it 😉. In return he gets my attention and company. Pretty fair if you ask me.

(16.55) You would say that yes.

(16.55) Grumpy :P.

(16.55) No, but it's great, he should grow tired of me since we both live and work together. But somehow I guess he doesn’t. Bless the man <3.

(16.56) It is very impressive actually. You are very annoying.

(16.56) I love it when you tell me that I'm bad babe.

(16.56) The worst.

(16.56) <3

(16.57) Actually in all siriusness (Se what I did there 😉), I liked talking to you before. You have a very calming voice.

(16.57) It helped.

(16.57) So, thanks…again.

(16.58) Um, you’re welcome. Just glad that you are ok.

(16.58) 😊

(16.58) You have nice voice too.

(16.59) Or, I mean, I guess you do when it's not panic stricken.

(17.01) Hello?

(17.03) Uh, alright bye.

(17.04) No, fuck wait, hi!

(17.04) Dropped my phone in the bath.

(17.04) Hold on.

(17.04) Really?

(17.04) HAH!

(17.05) Are you bath texting?

(17.05) Hey, not funny.

(17.05) Fuck, I think it's ok. Thank god for the technology of today right?

(17.05) And yes, I’m bath texting.

(17.05) So what?

(17.05) Are you picturing it 😉?

(17.06) Shut up.

(17.06) That is not a no.

(17.06) I gotta run, but great that you’re ok!

(17.06) Byeee!

(17.06) Hah, coward <3

Saturday sept 1

(17.10) Jamsie can you bring me a glass of water?

(17.11) I'm at the gym mate.

(17.11) Oh, didn’t hear you leave.

(17.11) When are you getting back?

(17.12) Get your own water honey.

(17.12) Fineeee.

(17.12) Ey, James, you know “You know who”.

(17.13) Yes?

(17.13) Did the guy say anything else about her!?

(17.13) No, sadly. But I was wondering… do you remember seeing a guy with her? Our age?

(17.14) Hmm, yeah I think she had someone with her one time maybe. Honestly, I can't really recall anything more then her face. Everything else kind of disappears when she’s there.

(17.14) Oh, you big sweetheart <3.

(17.14) Yeah I know.

(17.15) But really, you can't you remember anything about him? Like anything?

(17.15) Hmm, if I remember correctly then he was very tall.

(17.15) Yeah, yes he was. He hit his head on the cymbals we keep in the ceiling you know?

(17.15) WHAT! For that he must be like… like tall tall?

(17.16) Yeah, I think he is. But sorry I can’t remember anything else. He might have had brown hair but I am not sure.

(17.16) Fuck he's tall though.

(17.16) A tall swearing man…

(17.16) Sirius. I know your brain and I need you to chill. You said he wasn’t interested. Don’t be pushy on some poor guy.

(17.17) Hey rude!

(17.17) And very true.

(17.17) But I think maybe he is interested. Or, I don't know, something. He texted me and asked if I was ok.

(17.18) Sorry to say that could be just common sense man. You did call him while running from a murderous biker gang.

(17.18) Yeah, yeah.

(17.19) He also said I have a nice voice…

(17.19) He did?

(17.19) That is... that could be something.

(17.19) Right!? I got so excited that I dropped my phone in the bath.

(17.20) Hah, of course you did.

(17.20) But be cool man, I love you to bits but sometimes you can be a bit much when you get fixated on something.

(17.20) Yeah, yeah I know. I'll be cool.

(17.21) Cooler than cool.

(17.21) Chill even.

(17.21) I don't believe you <3.

(17.21) Now I need to workout man. Some dude is eying me for hogging this machine but not doing anything.

(17.22) Tell him you can hog his machine.

(17.22) You are the worst.

(17.22) Hey, seems to be my character trait today.

(17.22) Have fun!

(17.23) Bye bestie <3

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

James is underlined text

Regulus is italic underlined text

Sunday sept 2

(22.18) I have to have a word with you young man.

(22.20) Er, hi? What?

(22.20) Do not use that tone with me.

(22.20) ?

(22.20) You claim to be a young man, yes? 23 years old I recalled you said, yes?

(22.21) Yes, I am? What is up with you?

(22.22) Well, according to all my vast knowledge about today’s youth (which, for your information, is extensive since I believe myself so be a part of today’s youth with my 24 years on this humble earth). According to all these studies of my peers it is my understanding that every descent 23 year-old man has at least one social media account.

(22.22) Oh

(22.23) And on this social media account these modern men are posting pictures or clips of themselves with at least one of the following options:

1. Large fishes that they caught
2. Large boats which they stand on
3. Selfies taken from a high angle and with a bunch of filters to make them look appealing to the opposite (or same) sex

(22.23) I guess that is pretty common to occur yes.

(22.24) Indeed! So mark my surprise when I have a little free time on my hands and begin to do some healthy stalking of one “Just Remus”. And then I find that not only is this supposedly 23 year-old man not linked to any social media account (Yes I looked at pretty much all of the top dogs), but he doesn’t even seem to exist on the fucking internet. More than his address and such jibber jabber of course.

(22.24) The fuck

(22.25) Explain yourself! Are you either not a 23 year-old man as previously claimed. OR are you actually a hermit living in the wild, writing your manifesto on how technology is the largest threat on the human race?

(22.25) So many things to unpack here.

(22.25) Could you breathe a moment and let me answer?

(22.26) Go ahead babe, eager to hear <3.

(22.26) So first. No, I don't have any social media accounts. Yes, I am 23. No, I am not a hermit even though that manifesto isn’t a totally bad idea. Technology will probably kill us all if environmental catastrophes, famine, war or aliens doesn’t get there first.

(22.26) Aren’t you a ray of sunshine.

(22.27) Weren’t you supposed to shut up for a moment?

(22.27) …

(22.27) Thank you <3.

(22.28) Second. I don’t have any social media accounts because, I don't know, it's not very interesting, is it? Think I had Facebook back in the day but deleted it. I don't really see the point.

(22.28) And I don't catch much fish so what would I even post?

(22.28) I have suggestions… but go on…

(22.28) Thirdly…

(22.29) Are you stalking me? Why? And don't just casually drop that you know my home address like that!

(22.29) How did you even find that, I haven’t given you my full name?

(22.29) And please no, my full name is not “Just Remus”. Don't say it.

(22.29) I can talk now?

(22.29) I'll allow it.

(22.29) Thank you sir.

(22.30) (Kind of hot when you are being all authoritative not gonna lie).

(22.30) Well, the name Remus isn’t very common. And I actually know how to travel the vast depths of the internet. So writing your name and age in a search motor is not very hard. There is one Remus in this town. Remus Lupin.

(22.30) (I'll save mocking that combination of names for another time just so you know.)

(22.30) But yes, so I searched you. And no, you don't need to worry. I will not show up outside your door confessing my love.

(22.30) Unless you want me to 😉?

(22.31) Eh, no thanks please don’t.

(22.31) But so ok, that’s a bit weird of you isn’t it?

(22.31) I think we are missing the point of this whole conversation Mr. Lupin.

(22.31) The weird thing here being you not having a digital footprint.

(22.31) How will I learn anything about you!?

(22.32) Hah, you can just ask me stuff if you’re so interested.

(22.32) Hmpf! Yeah, because you really have been giving the impression that you would tell me anything if I asked.

(22.32) Try me.

(22.32) Oh

(22.32) Erh, ok well. Shit, now I don't know what to ask!

(22.33) Wow. Sirius not knowing what to say. Must be a first. Can James check on you to be sure you’re ok?

(22.33) Very funny.

(22.33) Wait I have an idea.

(22.33) Hold on...

(22.33) Ok, holding.

(22.35) There we go. So not that you would know but on the big and scary internet there is a lot of things a person could use in a situation like this.

(22.35) Look, I'm not an idiot just because I don’t take bad selfies ok?

(22.35) Sure 😉.

(22.35) Anyway I found a list of 10 questions to ask a new “friend” to get to know them.

(22.35) Hah, that's very lazy of you. Couldn’t figure out just one question on your own?

(22.36) Work smarter not harder is kind of my life motto babe.

(22.36) I bet.

(22.36) Ok, sure why not. But then you must answer the same questions?

(22.36) Of course. I would miss an opportunity to talk about myself, you know that <3.

(22.36) Hah, yeah that has been clear.

(22.36) 😉

(22.36) Alrighty. Question number 1:

(22.36) Wait, wait!

(22.36) ?

(22.37) First some rules ok. I don't have to answer anything if I don't want to. And you don't get to be all upset about that?

(22.37) Didn’t you just a moment ago tell me that I could ask you anything?

(22.37) Hmm, yeah maybe I did. But I lied 😉.

(22.37) Oh, you little minx you.

(22.38) Ok, this is the rule. Out of these ten question we both get ONE free pass to not answer. But only one ok?

(22.38) Not really fair that you get to set the limit since you read the questions beforehand?

(22.38) Two questions can be skipped.

(22.38) Jeez you are no fun.

(22.38) Ok, ok, two questions can be skipped!

(22.38) Are you ready now my lord?

(22.39) Sure, shoot.

(22.39) Question 1:

(22.35) What is the best compliment you ever received?

(22.35) Oh hmm, I go first?

(22.35) Yes please.

(22.35) Ok, hmm gotta think.

(22.36) Once an ex told me that my mind is like an altruistic eagle. Pretty cute thing to be called I think.

(22.36) Elaborate?

(22.36) They said something like that I have the ability to soar over situations and pick up just the impressions that I need to then focus on a target when it is needed. But not to like, catch the target but to take care of it or something.

(22.36) Fuck that feel so weird to write out. Is that bragging? Giving myself the ick.

(22.37) It's not bragging 😊.

(22.37) Tell me more! Did they specify more how you do that?

(22.37) No way, I will not keep bragging.

(22.37) Are you already using your first out? Bold move love.

(22.37) No, I answered the question didn’t I. Just not your follow up questions.

(22.37) Fair game and your turn!

(22.38) I should have specified the rules more.

(22.38) So for me I think one of the best compliments I gotten was when my brother said that he thinks I must have some twisted screw in my head because I have the guts to be myself despite everything.

(22.38) Sounds kind of backhanded no?

(22.39) Well if you knew my brother you would get why that was the highest praise I could get.

(22.39) Hey, you do know my brother I forgot!

(22.39) How’s the essay going with the little shitdick huh?

(22.39) Hah, I guess he doesn’t seem like a very “open” type.

(22.39) I like him.

(22.39) My favorite brother by far.

(22.39) ☹ Hey, words hurt you know.

(22.40) Teasing 😉. No, but it's fine thank you for asking. He actually did what I asked him to do and more. Seems very smart that one. But we haven’t talked much.

(22.40) Sounds like him.

(22.40) Anyway! Are you ready for question 2?

(22.40) No, I have a follow up on yours. What does that mean “being yourself despite everything?”

(22.40) Hah, nice try, you don't answer follow ups so I won't either babe.

(22.40) Touché.

(22.41) Question 2:

(22.41) What physical trait do you like best about yourself?

(22.41) Eh

(22.41) What list was this? I thought it would be like “what’s your favorite color” and shit. Not just bragging questions?

(22.42) You seem to have some trouble talking about good things about yourself huh?

(22.42) Ok, shrinky don’t go psychoanalyzing on me now.

(22.42) Mm just saying…

(22.42) Whatever.

(22.42) Ok, question 2. I have heard that people like my hands.

(22.43) That’s…hot. But not an answer to the question! The question was what YOU think, not “people”.

(22.43) God you are relentless.

(22.43) Fine, I like my eyes.

(22.43) 😊 Can I ask what color?

(22.43) Again with the follow ups.

(22.43) Green ok. Just green.

(22.44) Just Remus with just green eyes.

(22.44) Eh yeah.

(22.44) So you?

(22.44) Oh, there is so much to choose from.

(22.44) However shall I pick 😉.

(22.45) If you say everything I will have to block you just for being too much of a narcissistic bastard.

(22.45) Haha no, no I have insecurities like anyone. I'm just good at hiding them behind a shit load of confidence.

(22.45) I think my best physical trait is my hair though.

(22.45) It is pretty damn nice.

(22.45) Mmm I agree.

(22.46) What?

(22.46) Eh, what?

(22.46) You said “I agree”.

(22.46) ---Just Remus deleted a message---

(22.47) No, no, I didn’t?

(22.47) YOU DID!

(22.47) AND DELETED IT!

(22.47) Just Remus Just Green Eyes Lupin!

(22.47) Do you know what I look like!?

(22.48) Well, yeah, a bit I guess...

(22.48) !

(22.48) I am stunned! This is so unfair! But how? Have you actually learned how to use a browser and, dare I say, googled me?

(22.48) Hah no. No, I saw you at the store when I was there with my friend.

(22.48) But, how did you know that it was me?

(22.49) You described yourself earlier in this conversation remember. And I am neither blind nor stupid.

(22.49) Hold up, let me scroll back.

(22.50) Ooookay so this is how I described myself: “I am a gorgeous specimen of a man, long black hair, steely eyes, legs for days.”

(22.50) Yeah so?

(22.50) Sooo sugar cubes, you recognized me on that description in the store.

(22.50) Does that mean that you think I am gorgeous?

(22.51) Eh I, well... You said that you have long black hair and now you said that you have great hair. So yeah, they guy in the store had fucking great hair ok.

(22.51) Aw thanks babe <3.

(22.51) Whatever.

(22.51) I can't believe you were in the store and I didn’t know. Or did I? Did I see you?

(22.51) Nah I don't think so, you seemed busy with some woman.

(22.51) I did!? Like a customer?

(22.52) I don't know, yeah?

(22.52) Hmm, ok well I guess that makes me a good employee since I focus on customers rather than looking at cute boys with green eyes.

(22.52) Eh, you don't know if I'm cute.

(22.52) No and how extremely unfair that is.

(22.52) Ah well, tuff luck.

(22.53) I guess…

(22.53) Alright next question?

(22.53) Eager, I love it.

(22.54) Question 3:

(22.54) What is a personality trait of yours that you don't like?

(22.54) Oh damn, how much time do we got doctor?

(22.54) An eternity.

(22.54) Hah, sure.

(22.55) Um ok, well there’s a whole list but number one right now is probably that I am shy. I hate that.

(22.55) You don't seem that shy?

(22.55) I don't? Well, that’s good. But yeah I am. Not always, depends on the situation but it's very annoying. I wish I just didn’t care so much what people think.

(22.55) So why do you care?

(22.55) I don't know, just do.

(22.56) Hmm. Do you care what I think?

(22.56) Um, I guess.

(22.56) Well I think you are interesting and doesn’t really seem shy, maybe reserved is a better word.

(22.56) You'll change that opinion when you see me blush.

(22.56) Remus!

(22.56) Will I see you blush?

(22.56) I started blushing by just the thought of seeing you blush!

(22.56) God, shut up.

(22.57) 😊 Hope I get to see it one day and tell you that it is cool that you care what people think.

(22.57) You sound like my mom.

(22.57) Ugh, ok.

(22.57) Unless you have an Oedipus complex I will take that a hint to move on.

(22.57) Please yes move on.

(22.57) Hah!

(22.58) My answer to this question is that I actually HATE that I don't know how to shut up.

(22.58) Really?

(22.58) Haven’t noticed that that’s a problem 😉

(22.58) Uh very funny, I didn’t mock your answer did I?

(22.58) Right sorry, go on.

(22.59) Well is complicated right. I do love that I am confident and don't really care what people think about me. It's great, if I didn’t have that I would probably be just a pile of despair since my upbringing was, well, not very positive.

(22.59) But I hate that I sometimes just fall into being the center of attention and then can see people around me grow smaller because I just take so goddamn much space.

Like, I love attention. But I hate when I can see that my stupid fucking personality makes people shrink.

(23.00) Do you get it?

(23.00) Yeah I think so. Can't relate even the tiniest bit but I think I get it.

(23.01) But don't you think that most people just enjoy that you take that space? I know I do when I am around people that sort of take care of the mood of the room. It's great because I know that I simply can't be the one to do that.

(23.01) I don't feel that it makes me smaller, it is just comforting.

(23.02) <3, that's nice. Yeah, maybe sometimes. But sometimes it's like I can see that people are trying to get some of the limelight but I just keep fucking talking or showing of or whatever.

(23.02) What do you do when you see that?

(23.02) I try to find a reason to piss off mostly. Leave to go to the bathroom or to get a smoke or just go away.

(23.02) That sucks. You shouldn’t have to leave. Maybe you should try to have a mantra or something when you notice that you take over to much? Like count to ten before you talk or whatever. So, you can stay but try to give others space?

(23.03) Now who’s the shrink 😉.

(23.03) Just a suggestion, I don't really think that it seems like something you should worry about.

(23.03) Yeah thanks, I can try the counting to ten thing. Let you know how it goes?

(23.03) Please do.

(23.03) Then you can try to have some mantra when you start to care too much what people think and get shy.

(23.04) Like, WWSD?

(23.04) ?

(23.04) What Would Sirius Do

(23.04) Haha, yes like that!

(23.04) 😉. I can try.

(23.04) Comparing me to Jesus is feeding my ego dear. You gotta be careful with that 😉.

(23.04) Hah, I didn’t compare you to Jesus you daft prick.

(23.05) That’s better, bring me back to my mortal body so I don’t get some grand messiah illusion about myself. THEN I would truly be the worst.

(23.05) You already are the worst.

(23.05) Mmm, that’s the stuff tell me how bad I am.

(23.05) God, stop.

(23.05) Not God, Jesus remember 😉.

(23.05) Count to ten arsehole.

(23.06) <3

(23.06) Ok question 4:

(23.07) Sirius, do you know what time it is? I gotta go to bed!

(23.07) This was not what I was supposed to do all night. Fuck, I have an early class tomorrow.

(23.07) Ah, right hah. Sorry babe <3.

(23.07) I'll let you sleep.

(23.07) This time.

(23.08) But question 4 is a real exiting one so I'll leave you with that as a cliffhanger.

(23.08) Caaan't wait.

(23.08) I bet <3. Talk tomorrow?

(23.08) Yeah, we will. Goodnight arsehole <3.

(23.08) Nighy night Green eye.

Sunday sept 1

(23.10) Hello Reg

(23.11) Uh, it's you.

(23.11) Yes wanker. How are you?

(23.11) Fabulous. What do you want?

(23.11) Oh, I'm great thank you for asking.

(23.12) I am sleeping. Is it something important or can it wait?

(23.12) Preferably a few years.

(23.12) You are taking Art history now I hear?

(23.13) Yes.

(23.13) Sounds so very interesting. Fascinating subject. Not a waste of time I'm sure.

(23.13) But so you have this essay partner right? Remus?

(23.13) Yes shithead.

(23.14) So like, is he nice?

(23.14) Nice?

(23.14) Yeah or like... how is he?

(23.14) Honestly if you could describe him in every tiny detail for me that would be lovely thank you.

(23.15) God you are so fucking obvious.

(23.15) Whatever just, tell me about him ok!

(23.15) Please!

(23.15) I won’t bother you ever again about anything!

(23.16) That is a lie.

(23.16) Come on man. Let me live a little, pleaaase?

(23.16) I don't understand you.

(23.16) I'm not asking you to understand me you prat. Come on please?

(23.17) I don’t know anything about him ok. Can’t you just stalk him online like a normal fucking person?

(23.17) I have! He is not online! You are my lifeline so please!

(23.17) God, how did you become this desperate and pathetic?

(23.17) It’s embarrassing.

(23.17) I know.

(23.17) Please?

(23.18) Look, I really don't know anything. It's an online class and we only had one meetup the first day and I have no idea who he was of all the people that was there that day. We have only texted about the assignment except for when he told me that my twat of a brother was harassing him. I don't know anything about him!

(23.18) Oh

(23.18) Well, that is disappointing.

(23.18) You sure you don't remember a very tall guy from that first day? Probably with brown hair?

(23.18) Brown hair? Tall? Extremely pretty?

(23.18) OMG yes that could be him!!!

(23.18) Hot body and dreamy eyes?

(23.19) Fuck I knew he would be hot, oh my god, oh my god, tell me more!

(23.19) With a tattoo across his face with the words “I am the bitch lover of Sirius”?

(23.19) …

(23.19) I hate you

(23.19) Likewise wanker.

(23.19) No I didn’t see him. No I don't know him. Was it anything else?

(23.20) Nah, I guess not.

(23.20) Or yeah! Can't you like ask him for a study session in person and then tell me all about it?

(23.20) And take pictures!

(23.20) Eh, please?

(23.22) Regulus?

(23.23) Right... to desperate.

(23.23) Fuck off.

Monday sept 3

(00.34) James, I think I love him.

(01.35) Go to sleep Pads.

(01.35) Ok…

(01.36) Can I sleep in your room?

(01.36) Of course <3.

(01.36) You are the best <3.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is italic text

James is underlined text

Monday sept 3

(10.30) Hello

(10.33) JR!

(10.33) Of all the nicknames, that one it the worst I think

(10.33) Really? Worse then babe, sugarcube and honeypie?

(10.34) Hmm now that you mention those…I'm not sure anymore

(10.34) Fine REMUS. How are you?

(10.34) Tired. I was up late last night

(10.34) Oh my, why in the world on the day before a school night?

(10.34) Mhm, some douchebag kept asking me questions

(10.35) Horrible, I hate him 😉

(10.35) Me too!

(10.35) Sure love, you keep telling yourself that

(10.37) So was it for some particular reason that I get pleasure of talking to you this lovely day?

(10.37) Hmm, no just wanted to say hello

(10.37) Hello

(10.37) Hi

(10.37) Hi

(10.37) Hello

(10.37) Hah, now I can tell that you’re shy!

(10.37) Ugh stop

(10.37) No it's cute

(10.38) What are you doing today?

(10.38) Um, I had class this morning and now I'm studying. Me and Lily are meeting up later for tea.

(10.38) Lily?

(10.38) Er yes, that's just a friend

(10.38) I mean it's a friend. I am friends with a girl name Lily.

(10.39) You are being weird?

(10.39) Is it your girlfriend?

(10.39) No, shit no. NO. Just my friend.

(10.39) Then why are you being weird?

(10.39) Waaait

(10.39) Does Lily have red hair?

(10.39) Nope, no, not at all

(10.39) SHE DOES

(10.39) IT'S HER

(10.39) OMG It's Lily with the bass! I love it, that’s such a beautiful name. James and Lily. Lily and James.

Monday sept 3

(10.40) JAMES IT'S HER IT IS "YOU KNOW WHO", IT'S LILY WITH THE BASS!

Monday sept 3

(10.40) Fuck she is going to kill me

(10.40) Hah, no she wont

(10.40) Yes, she will

(10.40) Please don’t tell him ok!?  

(10.40) Oh, I'll tell him

(10.40) Come on!

(10.40) If you tell him then she will kill me and you won’t be able to harass me anymore!

(10.41) Well, it was fun while it lasted babe

(10.41) Fuck, cold

(10.41) But if she kills me then she will go to jail and James will not get the extreme privilege to fall in love with her!

(10.41) Oh hmm, well that would suck

(10.41) He is kind of lonely

(10.41) Yesterday I found him cuddling with the laundry basket

(10.41) Said it smelled “vibrant”

(10.41) Woah, really?

(10.41) To his defense we have a pretty soft and cozy laundry basket

(10.42) That’s weird

(10.42) But please, please, please?

(10.42) Honey, I already texted him </3

(10.42) You didn’t!?

(10.42) I did

(10.42) Sorry but I told you before. Loyal to a fault.

(10.42) I am going to be honest though, we kind of figured out that it was probably her.

(10.42) What, you did?

(10.42) Well yeah, we don't have that many young female customers by your description of her.

(10.42) Oh fuck

(10.43) And I am dead

(10.43) Bye sweet life

(10.43) Please remember me you beautiful menace!

(10.43) Beautiful huh?

(10.43) A bit dramatic there though hun?

(10.43) ☹

(10.44) But so if you guys know that it is her, can you tell me if James was happy or weirded out that she has a crush on him?

(10.44) Ah, this is tricky territory my sweet Remus. You see I do like gossip. But again, loyal friend over here. I can't disclose such information I'm afraid.

(10.44) Come on that is unfair!

(10.44) She will not dare to go back if she knows that he knows but doesn’t know if he would like to know her.

(10.44) You know?

(10.44) Wow, tongue twister

(10.44) But don't tell her?

(10.45) Shit. I don't think I can do that.

(10.45) She knows when I have something to hide

(10.45) She

(10.45) Always

(10.45) Knows

(10.45) You seem pretty distressed about this?

(10.45) WELL YEAH WHO WOULDN’T BE WHEN THEY TOTALLY FUCKED IT UP FOR THEIR FRIEND AND NOW PRACTICALLY ARE A DEAD MAN WALKING!?

(10.46) Oh honey

(10.46) I feel bad

(10.46) Ok, if we say like this, she doesn’t need to worry.

(10.46) She doesn’t?

(10.46) Trust me. She doesn’t.

(10.46) She doesn’t?

(10.47) James has a lot of customers. And many of them return to the store not because they need to buy or fix their instruments, but because they just can’t stay away from the charming bastard. James is polite with it, never turns them away in a rude way but just tries to keep it professional, yeah?

(10.47) Yeah?

(10.48) But I have never seen him care this much about a fucking instrument like he has for her bass. That sweet thing is currently being treated like royalty. He's been staying late in the store for days just to fix it to perfection.

(10.48) So you mean?

(10.48) I mean, she doesn’t need to worry.

(10.49) Oh, okay

(10.49) I am trusting you

(10.49) Good!

(10.49) She will still kill me so I guess this is goodbye

(10.49) Goodbye Sirius

(10.49) It has been…something

(10.50) Something?

(10.50) “A pleasure” is not the right words for my encounters with you

(10.50) What is the words then?

(10.50) Lovely?

(10.50) Sexy?

(10.50) Mind altering?

(10.50) Intriguing

(10.51) Oh, that is a pretty good word 😊

(10.51) I will miss you babe. Hope you survive.

(10.51) Yeah me to

Monday sept 3

(11.05) Lily, I need you to remember that you love me

(11.05) Yes, very much

(11.05) Are you ok?

(11.06) Hmm yeah no, I just want you to remember that I would never to anything on purpose that would hurt or embarrass you.

(11.06) Remus

(11.06) Tell me what you did

(11.06) I'll tell you later.

(11.06) Tea around four at your place?

(11.06) No, you will tell me now

(11.07) It's nothing, not a big deal

(11.07) Remus.

(11.07) I don’t want you to be angry with me!

(11.07) Well then you should tell me what you did because right now I am creating a lot of scenarios in my head that makes me very angry with you!

(11.08) Ugh. Well, ok so I sort of did accidentally tell Sirius thatyournameisLilyandhetoldJamesandnowheknowsthatitisyouwhoiscrushingonhim.

(11.09) Please repeat that. Can't really see what you are writing. Right now it looks like you wrote that you told your texting boytoy that my name is Lily and that he told James and that JAMES KNOWS THAT IT IS ME THAT HAS A CRUSH ON HIM!

(11.09) I'm sorry!!!

(11.09) FUCKING HELL REMUS!

(11.10) You don't even like talking! How is it that you suddenly talk so fucking much that you keep telling a random guy about my fucking love interest!!!

(11.10) I don’t know, I'm sorry!

(11.10) He said that they had figured it out before though. So, it's not really my fault…

(11.10) My fucking god Remus! If they figured it out before then it is because you fucking described me enough that they would know that it is me!

(11.10) This is mortifying.

(11.11) I will never see my bass again.

(11.11) I AM SO SORRY!

(11.11) But you have to go back and get it. You have to. Sirius said that you had nothing to worry about. He didn’t want to say it but he heavily hinted that James has mutual feelings for you.

(11.11) That’s not possible. He is lying for some reason.

(11.12) Lily come on. You know that guys like you. Why would he lie? Why wouldn’t James like you?

(11.12) Because he is just to lovely.

(11.12) I know. So you have to go in, get that bass with confidence and ask him out!

(11.12) What the fuck.

(11.12) No.

(11.12) Yes

(11.12) You always push me to be more confident ok. It's your turn.

(11.13) I push you because you have a real problem with not believing in yourself. I don't, I know that I am awesome.

(11.13) So what’s the problem?

(11.13) The problem is that it is him. He just makes me feel all confused and flustered. It’s like my brain stops working just by thinking of him.

(11.14) You have to try Lils. If he is as great as Sirius keeps saying, then he deserves to get a chance from you. You are the best person in the world!

(11.14) And he cuddled a laundry basket yesterday so I think we should do him a solid.

(11.14) Er, what?

(11.14) Yeah

(11.14) Weird.

(11.14) Ok, I will go. But then you’ll have to come with me!

(11.15) Meet your lover boy and confess your feelings for him!

(11.15) Lily, love, that will not happen

(11.15) Hey if you push me then I can push you!!!

(11.15) Yeah, well I am not doing that

(11.15) We can discuss the details later over tea. Can you buy some scones on your way here?

(11.15) Already have

(11.15) Almost forgiven <3

(11.15) <3

Monday sept 3

(18.18) Eulogy to Just Remus Just Green Eyes Lupin

(18.19) It is with great sorrow we bid farewell to a beloved digital friend. He was a beautiful soul with a mouth of a sailor. He leaves us with great despair, loneliness and an ache in our hearts. This man was not only a source of entertainment for one bored long haired Adonis. No, he was so much more. He was, dare I say, a source for butterflies and all kinds of dirty fantasies. Enrolled in mystery he leaves us and will never be forgotten.

(18.20) Hah, I survived actually

(18.20) Remus my love, back from the dead! Tell me how was hell? Was Hades as hot as they say?

(18.20) You are in a cheery mood?

(18.20) Aren’t I always dear

(18.21) But so she didn’t kill you?

(18.21) She wanted to but I managed to remind her that she loves me

(18.21) Thanks for the eulogy though

(18.21) Do I give you butterflies?

(18.21) Of course you do

(18.21) Hmm, but why?

(18.21) What do you mean?

(18.22) Well, that's nice and all but I don't understand why a rude stranger would give you butterflies?

(18.22) Ah “that's nice”, noted

(18.22) I don't know you are kind of fun in between all the rudeness

(18.22) No I didn’t mean “that’s nice” like a turndown. I meant that it is nice, that you get that.

(18.22) Or whatever

(18.22) What do you feel when you write to me?

(18.23) Oh, I don't know

(18.23) You don't?

(18.23) Well, I do but I can't write it 

(18.23) Why?

(18.23) I don't know

(18.23) You should figure that out

(18.24) I don’t mean to push you ok. It is totally ok that you don't get butterflies. I don't expect you to. And I can chill out with all of that stuff if it makes you uncomfortable. I like writing with you either way.

(18.24) I don't get butterflies

(18.24) Ah, right

(18.24) Ok good, then I know!

(18.24) I get dragons

(18.24) What?

(18.25) Butterflies is just not the way I feel. I feel like there is a fight of dragons in my stomach when you write. Like they are warm, dangerous bloodthirsty animals that tumble around in there like they want to tear each other apart.

(18.25) Woah

(18.25) Makes me feel hot all over, and like my skin isn’t big enough for those dragons fighting around my organs.

(18.26) Damn

(18.26) That is

(18.26) Intense

(18.26) I'm sorry

(18.26) Fuck no you’re not! I'm not!

(18.26) I like the dragons

(18.26) I want to feel your dragons

(18.27) I feel dumb

(18.27) DON'T

(18.27) Yeah ok

(18.27) Look, you’re good, it's all good. I think that it was a beautiful way to describe a feeling ok?

(18.27) Alright

(18.27) Are you ok?

(18.28) Yeah just, some anxiety

(18.28) Why?

(18.29) I don't know, sometimes when I say or do something I just feel so much shame about it. And I just get this feeling of hate towards myself. Like really, really strong hate. It's better to shut up than to talk and feel that way.

(18.29) Oh babes, I strongly disagree

(18.29) Don't want to get all “shrinky” again but it sounds like you have some pushed back feelings to deal with? Please don't take this as something bad but have you ever talked to someone who knows about stuff like this?

(18.30) Yeah, yeah I have

(18.30) Been going to therapy for a while now

(18.30) Trust me, a few years ago I would be in a full shame spiral and panic attack right now

(18.30) I have some ways of dealing with it now

(18.31) That’s great. Love therapy. It's the best.

(18.31) I'm sorry if I pushed you to say something you didn’t want to.

(18.31) I promise I can chill.

(18.31) It's ok

(18.31) Just have patience with me ok?

(18.31) Ok 😊.

Monday sept 3

(18.32) JAMES I CAN'T CHILL

(18.32) Oh, sweet friend I know

(18.33) I think I am pushing him to much. I don't want to make him feel bad or get anxiety. But I also want to get to know him better. I don't know how to be chill and do that!

(18.33) Maybe try to wait until he makes moves?

(18.33) But he won’t! He's shy and insecure and damn I don't even know if he's gay. What if he is gay and not out! And I am pushing him deeper into the closet!

(18.33) This is horrible. I am going to ruin his chances of a happy gay life ☹

(18.34) Sirius take a breath

(18.34) He wouldn’t keep writing you if he didn’t want to. He has no obligation to you. Maybe he isn’t gay, and then that sucks for you, but it seems like you would like him as a friend regardless right?

(18.34) Yeah I would

(18.34) And if he is gay but hasn’t realized it or isn't out yet, then maybe it is the best thing for him to interact with a loud and proud queer guy like you?

(18.34) Maybe…

(18.35) Just try to read his signals and back off when it seems like he needs it?

(18.35) Ok sensei, I'll try <3

(18.35) Can't you figure out where he stands somehow?

(18.35) I tried! I asked him if he got butterflies by writing to me.

(18.35) And?

(18.35) He said it felt like dragons in his stomach

(18.35) Then he panicked

(18.36) I don't know what that means?

(18.36) Is that good?

(18.36) I DON’T KNOW

(18.36) He is so damn mysterious. No one is mysterious these days. But he is.

(18.36) Sounds like it. Hope we'll meet him some day he seems cool.

(18.36) Talking about cool people we would like to meet…

(18.36) Tomorrow is D-day!

(18.37) Don't remind me

(18.37) Sirius I am freaking out

(18.37) Should I cut my hair?

(18.37) What if she hates my hair!

(18.37) What if she hates me!

(18.37) What if she doesn’t come and I have to keep her bass as my only memory of her the rest of my life!

(18.37) Don’t cut you hair!

(18.38) You sure?

(18.38) Yes! And don't worry, you know she likes you?

(18.38) Yes, but that makes it so much worse. Now I will know that she likes me and then I will act like an idiot and she will stop liking me!

(18.38) Hate you tell you this buddy but you always act like an idiot when she is around.

(18.38) Oh. Shit.

(18.39) It will be fine! What time is she supposed to come and pick the bass up?

(18.39) The afternoon, no specific time.

(18.39) Do you want me to be there? I don’t have a shift, but I don’t mind hanging out and being moral support?

(18.39) And keeping your eyes open for her tall mysterious friend?

(18.39) Hey, do I have to have an alternative motive for being a good friend to you?

(18.40) Aren’t I right?

(18.40) Hmpf, yeah you are, but it's offensive

(18.40) <3

(18.40) If it's ok I rather you stay away actually

(18.40) I think I will just be more nervous if you’re there

(18.40) I guess “calming energy” isn’t my strong suit

(18.41) No, but you have other qualities bestie <3

(18.41) Ok, I'll stay away. But I want to hear every detail after!

(18.41) Of course

(18.41) So when are you getting home? I wanna hang out!

(18.41) What, I am home?

(18.41) What! Then why are we texting!?

(18.41) I don’t know, you like to text?

(18.41) Ridiculous. Make space for me I am coming to you.

(18.41) Alrighty.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

James is underlined text

Tuesday sept 4

(12.49) Hello

(12.55) Good day 😊

(12.55) How are you today?

(12.55) I'm ok, no classes today so that's nice

(12.55) How are you?

(12.56) Fine thank you.

(08.56) Alright…

(12.56) Yes 😊

(12.56) Why are you being weird?

(12.56) I'm not!

(12.57) Yeah, you’re being like…polite?

(12.57) You haven’t called me a silly nickname yet. Something is wrong?

(12.57) I'm just trying to be chill

(12.57) I like that you aren’t chill Sirius. Yes, you are a bit much but you don't have to pretend to be something you’re not.

(12.57) But I pushed you to a panic attack yesterday! I don’t know how to like…not do that.

(12.57) You didn’t. It's just how I work. You are great ok. Please don’t be weird with me.

(12.58) Ok fine

(12.58) I had a dream about you

(12.58) And it’s very not chill!

(12.58) Do tell?

(12.59) I will! So, I was in a elevator and it just kept going up and it was getting smaller and smaller and I felt trapped and I tried to pry open the doors even though it was still going up.

(12.59) And then suddenly the elevator was gone and I was falling down in the clouds and I saw earth getting closer and closer and I prepared to die.

(13.00) But then something enormous came swooping in under me!

(13.00) Wanna guess what?

(13.00) Say something crude and I'll block you

(13.00) 😉

(13.00) Nah, ha ha

(13.01) A dragon! A huge green scaly dragon. And on its back was a tall boy with brown hair. And I landed on the dragon behind him and had to hold on to him to not fall off. And then, without turning around, he put his hand on my knee and squeezed it.

(13.01) Then I woke up.

(13.02) Oh

(13.02) A dragon huh…

(13.02) Yup

(13.02) Why do you think that was me? You know nothing about my height or hair color?

(13.02) Well…

(13.02) Sirius?

(13.02) 😉

(13.03) YOU DO!?

(13.03) HOW?

(13.03) You met James at the store. The old hetero fool couldn’t remember hardly anything about you because he was blinded by Lily's beauty. But he recalled that you were tall, and he thought you might have had brown hair.

(13.03) Ah

(13.03) So are you? Tall and with brown hair?

(13.04) Well, yes

(13.04) How tall?

(13.04) To tall. Tall enough that I have to keep my eyes at ceilings so I don’t hit my head on stupid decorations like cymbals…

(13.04) Hah, it's not stupid. I hanged them there so be kind of my interior decoration skills ok 😉.

(13.04) Fine it looks very nice

(13.05) I like the music store. Have only been twice but it has a nice feeling.

(13.05) Yeah? I love it. I'm just so happy that it's my job. Can't believe I get to work with instruments.

(13.05) Do you play anything?

(13.05) Pretty much everything but varied level of skills, yeah

(13.05) Woah, that’s impressive

(13.06) It's fine. I don't play a lot anymore. Mostly I just like being around them and sell them. James is better at the fixing part of the job.

(13.06) Are you working today?

(13.06) I was this this morning, now I'm home.

(13.06) Why do you ask?

(13.06) No reason

(13.06) Hmmm I'm sure

(13.07) So, you wanna do question four?

(13.07) Hah, smooth. Changing the topic.

(13.07) Lucky for you I am dying to do question four. Never thought you’d ask!

(13.07) Shoot 😊

(13.07) Alright

(13.08) Question 4:

(13.08) What do you look for in a romantic partner?

(13.08) Again, what list is this?

(13.08) Just a list ok. Go on answer!

(13.08) Jeez ok. Give me a moment to think.

(13.10) I guess I look for someone that makes me feel safe to be me. I have had a few relationships, but it never worked out, partially because I always felt like I had to act a bit different to make them comfortable. I would like a partner to be my best friend. So I could be myself with them even when I'm no fun.

(13.10) Sound like a very reasonable thing to want

(13.11) Sucks that you had that experience with you previous partners

(13.11) Nah, they were good. It was just missing some extra things you know?

(13.11) Mm, yeah those extra things are hard to find.

(13.11) Have you felt that you had that? With a partner? Safety and that extra thing?

(13.12) I'm not sure, I have been very in love. Like very. But that wasn’t a safe relationship, it was pretty toxic actually. I thought it had that extra thing because I felt so much for him. But now I can see that it wasn’t in a good way.

(13.12) Want to tell me why?

(13.12) You don’t have to

(13.13) I was pretty young and he was older. Not like “old” but a few years older. I had never had a relationship or been with a guy and when he gave me attention it was like a fucking drug.

(13.13) But he only wanted me when it suited him. He could go from being hot to cold in a second and it really fucked with my head. He ended it when he moved away for work. I was heartbroken. Took me a lot of therapy and work to realize that it wasn’t a good relationship and that he didn’t deserve my heartbreak.

(13.14) Fuck.

(13.14) Fucking arsehole

(13.14) Fuck him

(13.14) Yeah well, he’s gone and I am better now so it's all fine.

(13.14) Good. Fucking fucker can go and fuck himself

(13.14) You and your sweet words <3.

(13.14) Hmm yeah. Fucking wanker.

(13.15) Hah yeah, yeah. Now it’s my turn to answer the question!

(13.15) Right yeah, forgot about that

(13.15) Go ahead

(13.15) Looking for in a partner, let me think…

(13.15) Are you going to pretend that you didn’t have an answer ready for this question?

(13.15) Yes!

(13.15) Hmm, it’s a hard one. Hmm, think, think, think!

(13.15) You really love dragging shit out huh?

(13.16) Only when it’s annoying you love <3

(13.16) Ok. So, I am looking for someone honest. I want to be my whole annoying shithead self in a relationship but to know that my partner will tell me whatever they think. If I’m to much I want to know it. But not in a way that makes me feel bad about myself but just in a way that is effortless you know. I want that effortlessness that only honesty can give.

(13.16) Sounds like we are looking for kind of similar things then. We want to be ourselves all the time without fear of our partner lying or being uncomfortable?

(13.17) Sounds like it

(13.17) I am a pretty honest guy you know…

(13.17) I have gotten that feeling from you yeah…

(13.17) 😊 yeah

(13.17) Ah, Remus, Remus, Remus

(13.17) What?

(13.18) Just, it's something about you.

(13.18) It really isn’t.

(13.18) It kind of sucks that you built some image of me in your head now. I don’t think I can live up to it.

(13.18) I am so fucking boring

(13.18) I don’t think you are

(13.19) I think you think that. But honestly, I can’t imagine that you are boring irl when you are this intriguing in text.

(13.19) Just don’t hype me up to much, ok? It would suck if we ever met, and you realized that I'm just so fucking basic.

(13.19) I'll try. But Remus, I don’t mind basic.

(13.19) Mm, we will see

(13.19) I hope we will

(13.20) So, wanna do question five?

(13.20) Maybe later, I gotta go now

(13.20) Where?

(13.20) Nowhere special

(13.20) Really, nowhere?

(13.20) Talk to you later ok? Bye

(13.20) Alright sketchy. Bye <3

Tuesday sept 4

(13.55) SIRIUS! HE IS AT THE STORE!

(13.56) I FUCKING KNEW IT!

(13.56) Should I come over?

(13.58) I'm coming over!

(14.00) Fuck, I'm not coming over. Gotta be chill.

(14.03) But I want to

(14.04) But I shouldn’t he doesn’t want me to

(14.07) Ok, I am coming over!

(14.09) Fuck, no I'm staying

(14.11) THIS

(14.11) IS

(14.11) TORTURE!

Tuesday sept 4

(14.20) Mate I want to marry her!

(14.20) OMG now you answer!

(14.20) I have been dying over here!

(14.20) How did it go tell me EVERYTHING!

(14.21) I'm sorry but I couldn’t be on my phone when she was here!

(14.21) No, I know I'm just being dramatic

(14.21) Please tell now!

(14.23) Ok, so they came in both of them and my god she is just so beautiful. She was blushing and I almost died then and there! And then she asked me about her bass and I told her all about it but I think I might have talked a bit to much because I kind of forgot to breathe so then I got lightheaded and had to sit down and then she fucking touched my forehead! SHE TOUCHED MY FOREHEAD! I guess she thought I was having a fever or something or was going to faint. And then she blushed even more and then she asked if I was ok and I said “I'm James” like some fucking idiot. But she laughed and said that she knows that and then she WINKED at me. WINKED!!! AM I DEAD!?

(14.23) And then she paid for the repair and they left.

(14.23) Dude! You were supposed to ask her out!

(14.24) I know but I forgot and then she already left when I was able to say something else then my own goddamn name!

(14.24) She is just so amazing.

(14.24) I know yeah. But you did good! You didn’t vomit or anything like that so I would consider it a successful encounter.

(14.23) You didn’t did you?

(14.23) No. But I am so sweaty now. Need to change my shirt.

(14.25) I think I have my Talking heads hoodie in the back room still. You can take that.

(14.25) Thanks love

(14.25) So… I hate to switch the attention from your thing buuut…

(14.25) Please tell me about him please, please, please!

(14.26) Hah of course <3.

(14.26) He didn’t say that much, he kind of walked around when I talked to Lily and just looked around. But before they left he said “Say hi from me”.

(14.26) He did!?

(14.26) God I'm pathetic, why does that make my heart tingle

(14.27) You are <3. But with all right because Pads, I have to tell you. He is one pretty boy.

(14.27) IS HE!?

(14.27) Yes! I tried to really get a good look now and honey you are in trouble. He is a hot man.

(14.27) OMG

(14.27) This is to much.

(14.27) Tell me more! Hair?

(14.27) Lightbrown and curly

(14.28) Fuck! Curly!? Fuck me. Ok, Eyes?

(14.28) Pretty and kind

(14.28) I fucking bet! Body?

(14.28) Tall, slender but not skinny.

(14.28) Lord help me. Clothes?

(14.28) He had on a large, knitted sweater and black jeans with holes in them on the knees. And brown boots I think.

(14.28) Oh my god

(14.29) Why is that so hot

(14.29) This is making it so much worse

(14.29) I want to meet him so bad

(14.29) You should! You should just ask him to meet with you!

(14.29) And you should just ask Lily out

(14.30) Yeah, yeah, ok valid.

(14.30) Fuck, we are miserable aren’t we?

(14.30) Very much so.

Tuesday Sept 4

(20.21) Hey pretty boy

(20.22) Uh, eh, hi

(20.22) I have it on good authority now that you are indeed a “pretty boy”

(20.22) Hot even

(20.22) Er, James I presume. He seemed pretty off though, maybe he had seizure and hallucinated?

(20.23) No, no, no, I don't think he did hun!

(20.23) Hmm

(20.23) So “Hi” back. I am angry with you!

(20.23) Oh?

(20.23) You visited my place of work without telling me!

(20.23) Mmm, yeah Lily kind of forced me

(20.23) What if I had been there?

(20.24) Well then we would have met I guess. But I did actually ask you before so I knew you wouldn’t be there.

(20.24) I still could have! I often hang there even if I'm not working.

(20.24) Would it have been so bad? If we met?

(20.24) God no! I dying to meet you!

(20.24) Alright, so why are you angry 😊.

(20.24) Hmm

(20.24) I don't remember anymore

(20.24) Then don't be angry 😊. Did you have a nice day?

(20.25) Hmm, I feel like we glossed over the topic of your hotness to quickly there but ok. Yeah, I had a nice day. I cleaned the apartment and listened to music.

(20.25) I though Jamsie-boy did the cleaning?

(20.26) No dear, I said he likes cleaning not that he does all of it. I am not that much of a spoiled brat you know.

(20.26) I'm sure 😉

(20.26) Offense taken!

(20.26) You are welcome <3

(20.27) I wish I was at the store today. This is fun and all but sometimes I just wish I could talk with you for real you know?

(20.27) Yeah, a part of me kind of hoped you would be. I was fucking nervous.

(20.28) You could call me you know…and talk. I can't promise that I'm very fun over the phone but yeah, if you wanted to.

(20.28) ----Sirius calling----

“Er hello. Shit that was fast.”

“Hah, yeah sorry I got excited. Not that good at playing things cool.”

“You don’t say…”

“I have been known to be described as “a bit much”.”

“Unbelievable, I can't imagine anyone talking about you that way.”

“Hah”

“So, hiya”

“Hi”

“Um, what are you doing? Or like, what were you doing before talking to me?”

“Just reading.”

“Just Remus just reading…”

“Oh, shut up”

“Hah never. What were you reading?”

“Um, it's…*Sounds of shuffling papers around*… it's The picture of Dorian Grey.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you read it?”

“Nah, but I saw the movie. The leading actor was kind of hot.”

“Hah, yeah he is.”

“You think so?”

“Well, yeah I am not blind and the whole character is kind of built around being fucking beautiful isn’t it?”

“I guess”

“But so…is that your type?”

“Fictional victorian men?”

“Hah, no I don't know...”

“Men?”

“Mmm yeah?”

“Hah, you been really wondering about this haven’t you?”

“Well, yes ok can you blame me?”

“No it's fine. “

“I don't mind you asking”

“And for your knowledge yes, my type is men. I am very gay.”

“You are!?”

“Hah yeah…and you? I mean I know that you are at least bi right since you talked about that fucking arsehole shitwanker dude before…”

“Hah, I love it when you swear babe.”

“Yeah, no I think I would call myself pan, it's not really the gender for me.”

“With that said like 90% of my past “somethings” does define themselves as men so…”

“I see.”

“Mmm, yup.”

“So, just two queers chatting on the phone…”

“God you are embarrassing sometimes.”

“I know hah, it's a curse.”

“To us all.”

“Oh, you love it.”

“…”

“So, do you want to do question five?”

“Yeah, sure why not.”

“Always so excited that JR.”

“Ok, let's see I gotta look it up hold on…”

“Mhm, ok.”

“…”

“There we go ok, so question five…”

“What is a weird and useless talent that you have?”

“Hah, hmm, shit I don't know?”

“Think about it, I'm sure there’s many”

“Don't know if I should be offended by that comment?”

“Hah no I just mean, who doesn’t have some weird party trick that is just simply useless right?”

“Ok, so you answer first then!”

“Sure honeylove, fine by me!”

“I can lick my elbows, that is very useless.”

“Eh, yeah”

“I can also do that thing where you tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue.”

“ *Groaning* ”

“What was that noise?”

“Um, nothing”

“Sounded like something…?”

“No, just bad connection I think.”

“Hmm, sure...”

“Did you plan your answers to both be tongue related just to taunt me?””

“Remus you wound me! I am a gentleman!”

“And yes.”

“Fucking tease.”

“Hah sometimes.”

“Now you answer before I get all flustered.”

“Oh, do shut up.”

“Ok, right, like a party trick?”

“Yeah sure”

“Hmm, I can talk backwards a bit?”

“Whaat?”

“Sdrowkcab klat nac I”

“Really!? That is so weird, and useless, and cool. Say something else!”

“What like anything?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright.”

“Lufituaeb era uoy kniht I”

“I have absolutely no idea what that means but it sounds cool.”

“Hah, yeah and very useless.”

“What did you say?”

“Oh, nothing just something about the weather…”

“Hah, Remus talking about the weather backwards. Just another day huh.”

“Eman ym yas uoy nehw ti ekil I.”

“Hah, eman who?”

“Damn, I will need to start recording our conversations so I can play them back in reverse.”

“Hah, don't.”

“Can't promise anything.”

“I like the sound of you voice, would be nice to have it recorded to hear it more often…”

“Or just talk to me more often then you creep?”

“Hah, yeah that would be even better of course”

“…”

“…”

“So, Remus can I ask another thing that I been thinking about?”

“Hmm, I don't know… is it on the list?”

“Well, em… no?”

“I'm kidding, you can ask me anything.”

“Ah, hah ok. “

“Alright so I was wondering, you take that Art history class with my little brother right?”

“Yeah?”

“So, is that your passion? Art history? What do you like… do with that?”

“Hah, you really aren’t into Art history are you?”

“No, it's not that, I'm just trying to build me a picture of who you are you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. Well, yeah I guess it is one of my passions or whatever you want to call it. This is just a introduction course to the subject, then I plan to focus on the renaissance period and then probably modern and contemporary art.”

“…”

“I would like to build enough knowledge so that I, in the future, can become a researcher or even professor of the subject. I don't really want to teach but in that position some teaching is required.”

“…”

“There's this area within the topic of Art history that is just so fucking fascinating right? It's the correlation between beauty and information. We can look at art from hundreds of years ago and by analyzing it learn so much about what the world looked like in that era. It could be all from beauty standards to what materials that were available for different social classes.”

“…”

“And not to mention that when you compare visual language to historical documentation of oral language then you can see so many interesting parallels of the social and economic climate of that time.”

“…”

“And then to compare standards of different cultures over time. The spoken language evolves due to the needs of its surrounding culture, right? But so does visual language and I would really like to research if there can be traces of big historical events in both visual and spoken words you know?”

“…”

“And eh, yeah. I like it…”

“…I'm going to be honest. You kind of lost me after you said “oral”.”

“Eh hah, right…“

“Joking babe. It sounds amazing. Or I mean, I don’t get a thing of what you are talking about but honestly I never heard you talk like this and I can tell that you really have a passion for it.”

“Yeah...”

“Please don't feel awkward now that you talked freely? I loved to hear it, ok?”

“Alright I'll try.”

“Thank you. So how did you get into this interest? Do you do more than read about art? Like, create it?”

“Ah no, no such skills at all. I just always liked to look at paintings and kind of imagine the life of the figures within them. I guess it grew to something over the years. The art museum was my happy place during high school. I could be there for hours. Once they accidentally closed and locked up with me in there, I hadn’t realized that everybody left and that they turned down the lights.”

“Hah really?”

“Yeah, and the alarm rang as soon as I realized it and tried to leave. Took me a few hours at the police station for them to understand that I wasn’t some robber but only a nerdy, fucking, dumbass kid.”

“ *Laughing* That’s amazing. Remus the robber. “

“Yeah, hah. My short history of crime.”

“Would you take me one day? To the museum? I would like to see what you see when you look at those paintings.”

“Sure. Sure, I would love to.”

“Nice, it's a date.”

“Mmm yeah. It's a date.”

“…”

“…”

“I like you Remus.”

“Yeah?”

"Yes.”

“I like you too.”

“You do?”

“Mmm”

“Ah, those fucking butterflies.”

“Dragons Sirius, wild bloodthirsty dragons.”

“Right yeah, dragons.”

“…”

“…”

“I think I have to hang up now, it's late and you know, school and stuff.”

“Yeah sure, we should hang up.”

“…”

“…”

“Talk tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“Alright, bye babe.”

“Hah, yeah bye babe.”

----Call ended----

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is italic text

James is underlined text

Regulus is italic underlined text

Wednesday Sept 5

(08.08) Morning Lils

(08.08) How are you? Have you stabilized after yesterday yet?

(08.09) I don't think I ever will stabilize.

(08.09) But yeah, I'm ok. I thought about it a lot last night.

(08.09) I want to ask him out. I'm fucking scared shitless to but I just don't want to miss this chance. I can't stop thinking about him!

(08.10) You should! You really should. It's less than zero risk that he would say no. I saw him yesterday. He was a total wreck for you. If it wasn’t so cute it would have been pretty disturbing.

(08.10) I fucking hope so. If this is all in my head then I will dig a hole and then crawl into it head first and die.

(08.10) No risk my friend.

(08.10) How are you going to ask him out?

(08.11) Fuck, I don't know? Should I go back to the store?

(08.11) No, that sounds to much. I can't do that.

(08.11) I could ask Sirius for his number?

(08.11) Yeah, I thought about that to. Is that weird? Or desperate?

(08.12) I have a feeling that he would be fucking overjoyed for a chance to play matchmaker actually

(08.12) Hah, yeah sounds in character from what you have told me

(08.12) Have you talked to him more since yesterday morning?

(08.12) Yup, we actually talked on the phone last night

(08.13) Remus!!!

(08.13) You must tell me things like this as soon as they happen ok!

(08.13) Tell me, how was it!?

(08.13) What did you talk about?

(08.13) Did you have phone sex?

(08.13) My god Lily. No! Of course not.

(08.13) But he did talk about things he can do with his tongue, and I had to bite my hand to not moan out loud

(08.14) Fuck really…kind of sounds like phone sex? I was only kidding…

(08.14) No, he was just teasing

(08.14) It's actually really hard to figure out what is a joke and not from him. He seems interested but also, he have been joking in this flirty way since the very beginning. I'm scared that it’s just his humor and that nothing he says really is flirting.

(08.15) I really think that he's flirting. Heavily flirting. If he isn’t then fuck him! Making you believe he is would be fucking cruel.

(08.15) Mmm I guess

(08.15) But so what more than tongue action did you talk about?

(08.15) Different things. I kind of got into my rant about what I want to research about Art history you know.

(08.16) Eh yeah, I know. It's like the only times that I want to tell you to shut the fuck up when you get going about that nerdy shit <3. How much of a rant did you do?

(08.16) Not to bad…I stopped myself before I could go into detail about how social norms can be reflected in trends of artistic style of different eras…

(08.16) Zzzzzz

(08.17) Sorry I fell asleep…

(08.17) Fuck you <3

(08.17) <3

(08.17) He seemed to like my ranting actually…he wanted me to take him to museum with me…like a date.

(08.17) Remus that is the nerdiest and cutest thing I ever heard!

(08.18) I know. Fuck, I want it to happen for real. I want him and me to happen so fucking bad.

(08.18) Me to honey. I think he would be good for you.

(08.18) But so, will you ask him for the number of Glasses?

(08.18) James…the number of James.

(08.19) I will. And I will get it. And you will text him and charm him and then live a long and happy life with him and have his babies!

(08.19) Let's fucking hope so! Just imagine those babies!

(08.19) I can't. Cuteness overload!

(08.19) Right!? Fucking hell.

(08.19) I'll text him directly. If you’re lucky you guys can start to procreate before this week is over!

(08.20) Ha ha

(08.20) Don't you fucking text him that whatever you do!

(08.20) No promises

(08.20) Your humor has really gotten worse over the years

(08.20) I'm only as funny as the company I keep love

(08.20) Suck it!

(08.20) <3

Wednesday Sept 5

(08.22) Good morning

(08.28) Hi babe!

(08.28) You busy?

(08.30) Yeah, a bit, at work. We had an early delivery that I had to be here for. Now I am doing inventory. I hate doing inventory. It's the worst.

(08.30) So I much rather flirt with you!

(08.30) How are you?

(08.31) Have you thought about my tongue anymore since last we spoke 😉

(08.31) And don't pretend that you weren’t affected by that last night. I heard you make that noise!

(08.31) Oh my god

(08.31) I didn’t make a noise!

(08.32) So then you don't care at all if I talk more about things I can do with my tongue?

(08.32) There is a whole list of things…

(08.33) Please, please shut up. I'm at the fucking library with your brother.

(08.33) You what!? Lil Reggiebebbie?

(08.33) Are you two like friends now ☹?

(08.34) Nah, we are just working on the essay

(08.34) I can't believe you didn’t tell me that you would hang out with my brother today!

(08.34) I hate it

(08.34) Don’t trust anything he says about me!

(08.35) We aren’t talking about you, you self-centered prick

(08.35) Why!? You should ask him about me!

(08.35) You aren’t making any sense, should I or shouldn’t I talk to your brother about you?

(08.35) You shouldn’t but you should want to!

(08.36) God I hate you

(08.36) No babe…you “like” me <3

(08.36) I am never talking to you again. You get to much ammunition. 

(08.34) Yes, you will and yes I do!

(08.35) Twat

(08.35) I actually have a favor to ask you

(08.35) Hold that thought, Gotta fix a thing

(08.35) Okay

Wednesday Sept 5

(08.35) Reg! If you tell him anything embarrassing about me then I will kill you!

(08.36) What the fuck?

(08.36) Who, why, what?

(08.37) Don't play dumb with me. Remus of course! Don't pretend like you’re not sitting next to his (probably) stunning body right this second!

(08.37) Ah, it's you he keeps texting.

(08.38) We actually have work to do. Could you please stop obsessing over him for just a few hours. I don't want to be here longer than I have to.

(08.38) Please. Like hanging out with him isn’t the most riveting part of you week you little loner.

(08.39) You know nothing about me cunt.

(08.40) Spent the majority of my life with you shithead.

(08.40) Never mind just don't tell him anything I wouldn’t want him to know please!

(08.41) I would never.

Wednesday Sept 5

(08.42) Did you really shit your pants at church when you were sixteen?

(08.43) I WILL FUCKING MURDER HIM!

(08.43) Don't. He's turning out to be quite a great source of information…

(08.43) Your first kiss was with your cousin huh?

(08.44) Oh, he is so dead! So dead!

(08.44) Could you please hit him from me? Just a little bit? Please I'll do anything!

(08.45) Of course not

(08.45) Just a little slap?

(08.45) Nope, you will just have to deal <3.

(08.46) This day is just getting worse and worse.

(08.46) But let's stop talking about my wanker brother that (for your information) once pissed himself at school because someone told him Santa wasn’t real.

(08.47) He's says that he was five years old when that happened?

(08.47) Well fuck, it still happened!

(08.47) Never mind. You had a favor to ask me dear?

(08.48) Will I finally get to read your diary Remus? I have been waiting so patiently!

(08.48) Please don't remind me of what a relentless idiot you were in the beginning of our conversation. You were so fucking annoying.

(08.48) Past tense? That's progress! I thought I annoyed you more and more everyday love!

(08.49) You do but now I am invested and can't just go to my teacher to try to swap you out.

(08.49) Aw, you are invested in me <3

(08.49) Yeah, yeah, whatever

(08.49) Favor to ask, remember? Can you focus for like a second?

(08.50) Hard but I'll try.

(08.50) Appreciated

(08.50) Could you give me the number of Jamsie-boy?

(08.50) Hmm, that depends…

(08.50) What do you need it for?

(08.50) He was just such a hottie. I want to ask him out.

(08.50) I know you are kidding but it still hurts sugar!

(08.51) You deserve it

(08.51) No obviously for Lily. She wants it.

(08.51) Fuck me, I love a woman that gets what she fucking wants!

(08.51) (And James does to)

(08.52) Of course she'll get his number! I am so hard on team Lily that I probably would have given it to her even if I didn’t know he has a massive crush on her!

(08.52) Woah, he does?

(08.52) Eh..fuck..I haven’t confirmed that before have I?

(08.53) No! You always answer vaguely because you’re such a “loyal friend”. This is exiting!

(08.53) Dammit

(08.53) Actually I don’t care! He likes her, she likes him. Let’s fucking get those lovebirds to start smashing their bits together, yeah?

(08.54) The fuck!? Smashing their bits together?

(08.54) That's one way of saying it I guess

(08.54) Only the best way!

(08.54) I am sharing him as a contact to you now!

(08.55) Got it, thanks

(08.55) So what should we talk about now dearest? Out bits maybe? Smashing?

(08.55) You should continue working and I should continue studying

(08.56) You are no fun

(08.56) But you still like me 😉

(08.56) Lord yes. Yes I do.

Wednesday Sept 5

(08.47) You should prepare mentally to get a text from the love of your life soon!

(08.48) What, how!?

(08.48) Lily asked Remus to ask me for your number so I gave it to him so he will give it to her!

(08.49) SHE DID!?

(08.49) Oh my god! She wants my number!? She will text me!?

(08.50) Fuuuuck she will text me! I will have to be cool and appealing in text! WHAT DO I DO!?

(08.50) Mate. It's not that hard. Just be yourself.

(08.50) But maybe a tad less pathetic?

(08.51) Sirius seriously! I am so bad at flirting!

(08.51) You don't have to flirt! She already likes you. Just be yourself and I promise it will be fine!

(08.51) If you say so mate.

(08.51) Damn…Is it me or is it like crazy appealing that she dares to ask for my number?

(08.52) Why does she have to be so fucking amazing!?

(08.52) It is, she seems so cool!

(08.52) So no pressure but you better make that lady swoon cause I want her in my inner circle asap!

(08.52) You’re not helping man

(08.53) Sorry!

(08.53) Go get her tiger!

(08.53) That's better.

Wednesday Sept 5

(09.01) I got it! I'm sharing him as a contact with you now!

(09.01) You can do this! And if you need any boost then you should know that Sirius slipped up and confirmed that James has a crush on you.

(09.02) Ih!!! Ok shit, ok! Fuck!

(09.02) God ok. This got real. It's GO time!

(09.03) Go get him tiger!

Wednesday Sept 5

(09.07) Hi, this is Lily

(09.10) HI! This is James!

(09.11) I know hah. You really like telling me your name huh?

(09.11) Eh, right. No it just felt polite to.

(09.11) Hi

(09.12) Is it ok that I asked for your number?

(09.12) Yes, yes super ok!

(09.13) Good

(09.14) Sooo, what are you doing?

(09.15) Oh nothing really. I got work at ten.

(09.15) Alright, fun?

(09.15) Yeah

(09.16) Ok

(09.18) Ok…well then. Bye

(09.18) Oh, bye

Wednesday Sept 5

(09.18) SIRIUS HELP! I AM FUCKING UP!

(09.18) You’re at the store right? I am coming in early. I need a hug.

(09.19) Shit ok, yeah, I'm here. Come over directly and well figure it out <3.

Wednesday Sept 5

(09.20) Remus I don't think his interested ☹

(09.21) He hardly said anything and didn’t seem to want to talk.

(09.21) It's fine, I'll get over it.

(09.22) Are you home? I'm coming to you.

(09.22) Yeah, ok.

Wednesday Sept 5

17.05

Remus was freezing. The weather had dropped several degrees during the day and he had not been prepared for the chilly fall winds when he left his flat that morning. He tried to pull up the collar of his cardigan to protect his neck from some of the chill, but it didn’t help much. Grumbling under his breath he flexed his cold hands in his pockets and just tried to concentrate on walking fast so he could get home to the warmth sooner.

When he left his flat that morning it had felt like a good idea to take a walk instead of riding his bike like he usually did. He hadn’t planned to leave early from his study session with Regulus just to powerwalk over to Lilys place to check on her. She was fine, a bit annoyed and in her head but fine. Lily was sane enough to not discard a person completely based on a five-minute text conversation. But still, she was only human, and the short answers James had given her made her unsure of herself. Remus had tried to build up her confidence again but after a while he figured that what she really needed was a distraction rather than a pep-talk. So, they spent the afternoon playing video games and listening to music like they had so many times before.

Now he wished that he had taken his bike. Lilys place was around an hour walk from his and the cold winds combined with his stiff body from lounging on the couch half the day was making his joints hurt. It had been great hanging out with her but also, in the back of his head, he knew that he would have to stay up late tonight to make up for the missed time studying.

Regulus had given him a narrow look full of judgement earlier when Remus had stumbled up from the table they sat at, collected his notes and given the excuse that he had to help a friend before he left in a hurry. He probably thought that Remus was running away to hang out with his brother. Valid assumption since Remus had spent a good chunk of the study session that morning on his phone texting with Sirius.

It was weird to be around Regulus. Him and Sirius shared some features, black hair, sharp cheekbones and silver-grey eyes. But they were so unalike in every other sense. Regulus had a coldness to him while Sirius always seemed to emanate warmth. Regulus was reserved and Sirius was almost ridiculously outspoken. Besides that Regulus had tone of passive judgement in everything he said, and Remus had the constant feeling that Regulus was way, way smarter than him and that he knew it. He would have to text him when he got home. To say sorry and see if he could make it up to him by taking on an extra share of the assignment. It would be a long night.

First, he would have to get home and put on about fifteen layers of sweaters to get warm again. The washed out t-shirt he picked that morning didn’t give him any sort of protection from the wind. And his favorite patched up cardigan, that he couldn’t button up since it lost most of its buttons, wasn’t doing much either to keep him warm. He picked up the pace even more, turned a corner but quickly halted to a stop when he saw a person in front of him. Just a few steps away on the pavement he instantly recognized the mop of messy black hair of Sirius.

Sirius was bent down, showing his profile to the place where Remus stood. He was hovering over an old motorcycle. Black and grey but with some rusty parts and a cracked light in the back. Remus couldn’t hear him over the wind, but he seemed to be talking to himself. Cheeks flushed pink and obviously frustrated at something with the bike. Remus took one step forward and realized that Sirius was struggling with the lock of the bike on its back tire. He had his hair half up in a bun on the top of his head. The rest of the long strands of black were dancing in the wind, getting caught in his face, on his lips and in his eyes. He angrily pushed them away from his face several times in between struggling with the lock and Remus could now hear how he was cursing loudly and vividly by himself.

Remus heart was in his throat. It was both terrifying and mesmerizing seeing Sirius in person after the last week of texting this beautiful stranger. The only time that Remus had seen him before had been that time in the music store and he had been stunned by his beauty then. But now. Now he couldn’t breathe. Sirius was an ethereal, magnetizing kind of beutiful. His sharp cheekbones, now flushed scarlet by the anger and struggle with the lock. The smooth shape of his nose in profile and perfectly pursed lips that looked too soft to be legal. Remus dared to be still a moment to roam his eyes over Sirius whole being in a way that he hadn’t dared when he was peaking on him at the store. Sirius wore a black leather jacket over a black t-shirt with a print that Remus couldn’t really see the details of. He was bent down, one knee on the ground and the other hunched. Jeans, also black, low and tight in a way that didn't really seem decent in the still bright light of the afternoon. He wore large Docs with yellow shoelaces that he hadn’t bother tightening up properly.

Remus took a large inhale of air and tried to steady himself. This was bad. He should turn around. Sirius hadn’t seen him yet. Even if he did, he probably wouldn’t know that it was Remus in front of him. He should just turn around right now, take another path around this street and go home. Delete the number of this beautiful man and block him so he never would do something so embarrassing as believing that a guy like this would have any interest in someone like Remus. That is what he should do. Right?

Remus realized that he had taken another step forward. What was he doing? He couldn’t walk up to him? He just couldn’t. That was not the way Remus operated. When in doubt just stay silent and try to disappear had been the voice in his head for years and years growing up. Just don't take any space, don’t draw attention. Don’t exist because you will just embarrass yourself. It had taken him a lot of time to realize that he had what his therapist called a phobia for shame. He was so scared of feeling ashamed and embarrassed that he had become a master of hiding from any circumstances were that feeling could appear. Mostly all it took was to stay silent but often he just chose to not be in any social gatherings so he could avoid the risk of doing or saying something stupid.

He took another step forward.

“What would Sirius do”? That was what they had joked about and it was actually not far from the strategy that him and his therapist had worked on together the last few years. The key wasn’t to think what someone else would have done in his stead. But to think “What would I do if this was a book”. It felt silly when the therapist suggested it in the beginning but over time he had learned that this trick worked very well for him. By thinking that the situation he was scared of might as well be fictional he could let go of some of the fear. This reality could simply be the words that some author decided to put down on a paper and not his real life. When thinking in that way, Remus could dare to stay in intimidating situations and say what was on his mind. If the shame hit him then he would calm himself by thinking that this might as well wouldn’t be real. This could be a story, like all the other stories that he read all the time. So what did it matter?

With a determined exhale he took the last step forward so he was standing close next to Sirius hunched over body. His head was still turned down cursing and fighting with the lock and his wild hair. Remus clenched his fists in the pockets of his jeans, raised his left boot forward and gave the back tire of the motorcycle a small soft kick.

“You need some help?” He said. It came out as almost a whisper but loud enough for Sirius to hear him at this close distance.

Sirius hands stopped what they were doing in a sudden motion. He turned his head up and looked straight at Remus with his beautiful silver-grey eyes.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Wednesday Sept 5

17.06

Sirius fucking hated his fucking motorcycle in that moment.
Why had he thought that it was a good idea to buy this retro piece of shit vehicle? Why!?

He knew why. He had fallen for the bike the minute that he laid his eyes upon it in that weird garage vintage shop that he and James had visited during the summer. It was something about its bulky features, the shaved color on the sides and the cracked fabric on the seat that just made it more cool and alluring to Sirius. That had really been the cause. He thought it looked cool and that he would look cool on it. Fuck what a fucking diva.

He swore loudly when the rusty key still wouldn’t budge from the lock it was stuck in. He had been fighting with this predicament for almost ten minutes now. It happened a lot. A few days ago he had tried to treat the defective lock with some oil. But somehow it seemed like this treatment only had made the matter worse. Usually, he could get it to work just by twisting it back and forth for about a minute. But now it was stuck. His hands were freezing. Why was is so fucking cold? And the stupid wind kept pushing his hair straight into his mouth and he wanted to punch something if it just could make this stupid idiot lock to work.

This day had been a shitshow. First, he had been woken up by his alarm at the ungodly hour of six a clock just so he could get to work by seven to accept a delivery. Then he had been on inventory duty until they opened the store. He had a small break texting Remus and that had been lovely as usual. Well except for the small annoyance of his git of a younger brother. Then James had arrived in a state of full panic. It had taken around two hours to make him calm down and to try to figure out a plan for what he should do in his endeavor to win Lilys heart. It was sometimes astounding to Sirius that such a gorgeous, charismatic guy could be such a mess when it came to the ladies. At least when the lady in question seemed to be the actual living girl of his dreams.

He pushed his hair back for the hundred time and kept on wriggling the fucking key swearing loudly now because fuck if he ever had any decency to care then that had left his body about nine and a half minutes ago. He was just about to give up and leave his stupid excuse of a bike behind when he felt a presence next to him. Fucking hell, not some fucking pedestrian telling him off for swearing in public. He couldn’t take being lectured about his language right now.

In Sirius' periphery he saw a brown leather boot pushing forward and giving the motorcycle a small kick on the back tire. The fucking nerve!

“You need some help?” he heard a calm voice say, a bit muffled by the wind. Sirius spun his head around and gazed up at the intruder ready to scold him for touching his bike. He locked his gaze with a pair of beautiful green eyes looking down at him. Sirius swallowed the angry words he been ready to say and instead took in the features of the boy in front of him.

He was so pretty. His eyes were big but squinting at him with a look of humor combined with something Sirius couldn’t really read. Nerves? Expectancy? He wasn’t sure. He had sandy brown curls that were swooping playfully in the wind, not long enough to get in his face but enough to make them sweep over his forehead in an adorable way. He looked cold, his lips almost blue but a crooked smile graced his features giving him small dimples on each cheek. He wore a scrappy unbuttoned cardigan and a white t-shirt under it that seemed like it had seen better days. The way it clung over his lean torso though, Sirius swallowed loudly. 

Sirius tried to collect his features and stood up. This made him realize that the guy was tall. Damn he was very tall, almost a head taller than Sirius which made him have to crane his neck to look at hit face. Now when he stood and was closer he could see that the guy had a faint scar across his face. It ran from under his left eye over part of his nose and ending at his right cheek. It made him look even more gorgeous and interesting. Sirius could also tell at this distance that the guy was blushing. A soft pink shade covering his jaw and disappearing down his neck under his t-shirt. Oh, fuck that was cute.

Sirius quirked his brow and pursed his lips in his best flirty smile towards the guy.

“I don’t mind some help,” he said and flashed a grin. “The key is stuck.”

They guy didn’t answer. He just stood there, still looking at Sirius but his smiled faded a bit. Sirius felt the smile on his lips strain as he waited for the guy to respond. Had he said something weird? No, he hadn’t, so why was the guy just looking at him so quietly?

The stranger seemed to mull something over. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then closed it again.

“Er, well I been trying to wiggle it around for ages now but doesn’t seem to work. Maybe I need some lube or something?” Sirius said in an attempt to bring back that crooked smile to the beautiful face of the guy.

His brow raised in a surprised look by Sirius comment. Again, he looked like he was pondering something very existential over while still just looking at Sirius. After what felt like an eternity of silence, he removed one hand from the pocket of his jeans and scratched the back of his head in an uncomfortable movement and then finally spoke.

“It's weird hearing you talk but not calling me a cute nickname,” he said with a sweet voice that seemed familiar. Looking at Sirius even more intently with expecting eyes.

Sirius confused look must have been comical because the guy chuckled a quietly and squinted at him through his long lashes.

“Babe?” He said and Sirius almost fell over.

Babe. The realization dawned on him and made his his mouth fall open and his eyes widen with shock.

“Remus?” He managed to ask. His voice croaking because it seemed that he had forgotten how his vocal cords were supposed to work.

The guy smiled again and lowered his hand from the back of his head. He turned his palm over, giving Sirius a small awkward wave.

“Hi.”

Sirius couldn’t help noticing with a hot chill through his core that Remus hands were beautiful, large and clad I different rings. He tried to say something but couldn’t get a sound out. He just stared. A painfully long silence passed with them still like that. Sirius mouth open, eyes wide. Remus with his hand up in a frozen wave. After a while he lowered his hand and put it back to his pocket, a concerned wrinkle now between his eyebrows and smile slowly falling.

Then he suddenly bent his head forward so it was just inches away from Sirius face. Sirius breath hitched by the sudden proximity of the shockingly handsome face of his mysterious texting friend.

“You know, you are supposed to be the one that can’t shut the fuck up…” He half whispered to Sirius and raised his brow again.

Sirius heard himself snorting out a laugh that more sounded like a muffled breath through his nose. What was fucking happening to him!? This close he could see specks of gold in the irises of Remus green eyes. He could catch a faint woodsy smell from him before it got lost in the wind.

“I… I seem to have forgotten how to speak at the moment,” Sirius finally said while trying to smooth his expression from full shock to something more appealing.

Remus smiled and bent his head back away again. Sirius could see how the blush spread even more over his cheeks. It was adorable. The dimples in his cheeks, touched by the faint scarlet shade made him look just so fucking cute that Sirius felt his toes curling.

Remus looked down at the bike again. And then up to Sirius.

“You want me to give it a go?”

“Er… yeah sure.”

Remus bent down and squatted next to Sirius feet while looking at the lock intensely. Sirius gazed over his long legs that hardly fit bent down like that in front of the bike. Damn, he was tall.

Remus seemed to ponder what to do for a few moments, just looking at the lock. Then he picked up a stone the size of a fist that laid next to the brick wall that the bike stood against.

With one swift motion he then hit the key hard from the side with the stone. Sirius hissed and reached for the bike on instinct to protect it. But before he could do anything Remus had dropped the stone and grabbed the key from the lock. He tossed the key once in his hand before standing up and holding it out to Sirius in his large palm.

Sirius just stood there. He was having an inner monologue with his impulsive side that right now was debating hard against his better judgment to just push this goddamn sexy man against the wall and snog the living hell out of him.

Remus kept his hand forward with the key and smirked sweetly like he knew what Sirius was thinking. Then he reached forward and grabbed Sirius hand, turned it over and laid the key in his palm. Sirius felt like his hand would burst into flames by the touch. Remus large hands lingered just a moment on Sirius' before he let go and put them back into the pockets of his jeans.

Time to fucking snap out of it Sirius thought. He had to get it together now or he would make a complete fool of himself. He folded his hand over the key.

“Thanks” he croaked with a weak voice before clearing his throat. “Um, so what are you doing here?”

Remus shrugged. “I'm on my way home from Lilys place. We hung out most of the day.”

“Right,” Sirius said, suddenly reminded about the catastrophic theme of today with James and Lily. “Look about James and his pathetic attempt of texting –,”

Remus cut him off. “It's fine, she is fine.”

“Yeah well that's good,” Sirius said. “But you just have to know that James really, really likes her. He just got in his head about it. He was a mess today. He wants to impress her so much that he just kind of short circuited you know? He didn’t mean to turn her down or whatever that conversation seemed like to her. He said that he wrote full paragraphs of answers but then chickened out and just settled on short answers. She shouldn’t give up on him!”

Remus smiled to that. “She haven’t given up on him. She was confused and lost some of her confidence with it. But she is smart. And she is used to hang out with me, so she has some experience of managing socially awkward people."

“You’re not socially awkward,” Sirius said quickly. “And James isn’t either, not generally at least.”

Remus just shrugged again.

Sirius tried to stop himself from being distracted by his broad shoulders.

“Do you live close to here?” He asked.

Remus smiled. “You know where I live? Remember you stalked me?”

“Hah, right yeah. I didn’t really look up exactly where your address were actually. I’m not a total creep!”

“Sure.” Remus sounded amused.

“I live a few blocks that way,” he waved in the vague direction down the street.

Sirius searched his brain for something to say. Anything. Anything smart and cool and sexy preferably.

“Er, well, I just finished work and are tired and was going to go home,” he blurted out.

Remus looked at him for a moment with a concerned wrinkle between his brows.

“Right yeah, I didn’t mean to stall you. I just saw you and felt like saying hi.”

He looked embarrassed, shifting his weight between his feet.

“No, fuck no!” Sirius grabbed his arm without thinking. “No, I didn’t mean that you shouldn’t have said hi. Fuck! I am just in fucking shock to see you honestly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but happy! Glad, you said hi. Honestly, I am surprised that you even stopped to talk to me. I really didn’t expect to see you. So I am elated but surprised and fuck you are tall. But not in a bad way, good tall. It’s good. It’s…” Sirius stopped himself realizing that he was rambling. Remus' eyes had widen a little bit while listening to him.

“I, er – I’m just glad to see you ok?” Sirius said and let go of Remus arm as he felt his own blush creeping up his neck.

Remus smiled again. It was such a fucking pretty smile. Sirius didn’t know what he had done to deserve this lucky cosmic coincidence. That this guy that he randomly been texting wasn’t only the most intriguing and mysterious person that Sirius have had the pleasure of interacting with in years, if even ever. But also, he had a smile that looked like that. Dimpled in his flushed cheeks and eyes wide with joy.

“I am actually also pretty surprised that I dared to walk up to you. I did contemplate running the other direction when I saw you,” Remus confessed with a light tone.

Sirius smirked. “I am very glad you didn’t.”

Then they were just staring at each other again for a few moments. This time it didn’t feel awkward though. Sirius felt a charge in the air between them. Like someone had switch on a light switch and electricity were buzzing between their bodies. He kept his gaze with Remus' and felt goosebumps spreading up his neck. Remus' beautiful green eyes were locked on his and he got the strong feeling that the same electric feeling was running through Remus' body in that very moment.

Sirius let out the breath he realized that he had been holding. “So, maybe this is presumptuous, but would you like to – I don’t know – hang out? Right now? We could go to a café or something. Or a pub even?"

Remus smiled and raised his eyebrows in surprise. But then his smiled faltered quickly and he looked down.

“Fuck, I don’t think I can,” he answered. “I would really want to, but I have a shit ton to do tonight. I sort of ran out from studying with you brother earlier to go to Lily. And we have this submission due of the first part of our essay tomorrow.”

Sirius swallowed his disappointment and tried to focus of the warm feeling he got from the sincere tone that Remus had when he said that he really wanted to hang out if he could.

“No, I get it, of course,” he said. “Maybe another time?”

“Yes,” Remus said with his adorable, crooked smile. “Yes, another time.”

Sirius grinned back at him and after a few moments realized that they just stood and stared at each other again with that electric feeling between them.

Remus bit his lower lip and then made an determined exhale.

“Ok, so I will go now. It was – it was nice to see you.”

Sirius had to take a short moment to collect himself before he could answer. The view of this gorgeous boy in front of him biting his lip was a bit too much to handle.

“Yeah, yeah, it was. Good luck with the the assignment,” he said.

“Thanks.” Remus answered. “I'll text you later when I take a study break okay?”

“I’d love that.”

Remus shuffled his feet like he wasn’t sure how to leave. Sirius held his breath and waited in the hope that he would hug him goodbye. He was left a little disappointed when Remus finally seemed to decide not to and instead removed his hand from his pocket again and gave another awkward wave before he started walking down the street.

Sirius watched him go for a few moments and then quickly grabbed his phone from his pocket and wrote a short message. He clicked send and then as he straddled his bike and put on the helmet he thought about Remus' smile and how he hoped that the message would make those dimples appear on his adorable blushing cheeks.

Wednesday Sept 5

(17.17) I hate to watch you leave, but I love to watch you walk away babe.

Wednesday Sept 5

(21.08) Hi

(21.08) Didn’t see your message until now

(21.08) That was cute

(21.09) Well it was true. You got some ass on you.

(21.09) Dear lord

(21.09) 😉

(21.09) Study break?

(21.09) Yeah, and food break. I started to drool in the textbook so it felt like it was the right time.

(21.10) Hah! Yeah, that is a bad sign.

(21.10) I have kind of been drooling since this afternoon to but for different reasons.

(21.10) I just have to say this Remus…

(21.10) Fuck me, you’re pretty!

(21.10) Like really…wow.

(21.11) God… I do not know what to say to that.

(21.11) Thank you?

(21.11) Makes no sense that a guy like you would think that but it makes me fucking happy to hear.

(21.11) What do you mean “a guy like you”?

(21.11) You know.

(21.12) Nope, I don’t?

(21.12) Sirius. I'm not good with words ok.

(21.12) Try it.

(21.12) Please?

(21.13) Fuck.

(21.13) Well, you are the most beautiful person I ever seen in my life. Ever. It’s not fair for one person to look like you. Should be against the laws of nature or something.

(21.13) Remus!

(21.13) The fucking smile on my face right now!

(21.14) That was very sweet of you.

(21.14) Thank you <3

(21.14) Not too much?

(21.14) Please, not possible. I really don't think you ever could be “too much”.

(21.14) Honestly, I just want more of you. All the time.

(21.15) Good…I feel the same.

(21.15) *Dying*

(21.15) Oh shut up.

(21.15) 😉 You love it.

(21.16) Speaking of wanting to see you more. I have a marvelous idea that would make that a reality for me, but it would also help out our friends.

(21.16) Listening?

(21.16) Friday. Pub night. You, me, Lily, James and whoever else we know that wants to join.

(21.16) We give James and Lily the chance to hang out but with less pressure than a actual date. I get to swoon over you but with some liquid courage so I don't lose the ability to speak (again).

Win win!

(21.17) I'm surprised. Not a totally bad idea actually

(21.17) Your confidence in me is astounding.

(21.17) 😉. I could check with Lily and maybe some of our friends?

(21.18) Do that and I will do the same!

(21.18) This will be great!

(21.18) It is almost like we are planning a date!

(21.19) Stop, you are going to make me nervous! Let's just call it “hanging out” or I will spend the next two days overthinking it.

(21.19) Ok ok, "hanging out" it is.

(21.19) But Remus, just to be very, very clear with you...

(21.19) I would like to go on a real date one day. Being friends is great and all, but I am too into you to pretend that it would be enough.

(21.20) Oh damn.

(21.20) Yeah, me too.

(21.20) I would really like that.

(21.20) <3 I’ll let you study now green eye. Talk tomorrow?

(21.20) Talk tomorrow. Goodnight Sirius.

(21.20) Goodnight Remus.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is italic text

Thursday Sept 6

(08.15) ----- Remus calling Lily -----

“ *Yawning* Hello, good morning?”

“Lily, hi, are you awake?”

“Well, now I am.”

“Ah, right, sorry. Should I call later?”

“No, no I should go up anyway. What’s up?”

“Yeah, so I were studying all night last night and was to stressed to call you then. But now I got to tell you!”

“Mhm *Yawning*, yup what is it?”

“I met him yesterday. I met Sirius.”

“…”

“What the fuck are you saying!!?? You met him! How!? What!?”

“Ha ha, yeah it’s crazy. I saw him on the street when I walked home from your place. And so I stopped and said hi.”

“Oh my god, Remus, I love the sudden balls. Good for you mate!”

“How was it? Did he recognize you?”

“Not at first, but then when he did it was a bit weird. He kind of just stared at me for a really long time.”

“He said that he had lost the ability to speak.”

“That’s adorable!”

“Yeah, I hope so. I got a bit nervous that it was a bad reaction but then it got easier.”

“But I think I stared a bit too much also. He just so fucking beautiful. It’s like it shouldn’t be possible for someone to look like that.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it. About him.”

“Remus you sweet darling you. He probably can’t either.”

“We texted a bit during the evening. He said that he wanted more of me…”

“Fuuuuck that’s hot. Right, that’s hot?”

“Yeah, God yes.”

“I can’t believe that he seems interested. I don’t get it and I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t. Just keep being yourself.”

“Did you talk anything about meeting up again?”

“Well, yeah about that. He had a brilliant idea actually…”

“Yeees?”

“He suggested that we all go to the pub this Friday. You, me, him, James and if someone else wants to tag along.”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down. Why in the world would you drag us along on your date?”

“Not a date, just hanging out. It’s perfect because then both you and I can meet the guys we like without it being too much pressure.”

“Yeah, well you seem to forget the absolute failure of a conversation that I tried to have with James yesterday. He still hasn’t texted me anything else and I am not going to be all clingy and desperate if he’s trying to let me down easy.”

“Sirius tried to defend him a bit yesterday actually. Apparently, James had been a mess about it. He said that he had been writing longer answers but then was too scared to send them. Sirius was really pushing for to you give James another chance.”

“Hmmm, really?”

“Yeah, and I don’t think that Sirius would suggest us all hanging out if he didn’t want to help his friend out. I think we should do it!"

“We can ask Marlene and Mary to come just to avoid an awkward double date vibe?”

“Hmm.”

“Please? It would really make it easier for me. The thought of going on a date with him alone kind of makes me feel like I’m going to faint. This would be the perfect way to do it step by step.”

“Oh god. Well if you say it like that then of course I will go. I want to do anything I can to help you with your lover boy.”

“Thank you! It will be great, and if not then we can get shitfaced and forget all about it, yeah?”

“Hah, yeah sure that’s a plan.”

“Great! Do you want to ask Mary and Marlene or should I?”

“I’ll ask. I'm meeting them at work later anyway.”

“Ok thanks.”

“No worries love."

"I'll think I need to hang up now though. I have to shower and overthink every outfit in my wardrobe.”

“Ha ha, ok do that. But don’t worry, he already likes you!”

“Mmm, if you say so. Ok, bye Remus, love ya!”

“Love you to Lils.”

----- Call ended -----

Thursday Sept 6

(11.15) Hello you

(11.16) Hey

(11.16) What are you doing?

(11.16) Nothing really. Finished the assignment this morning so now I’m just resting a bit. You?

(11.17) Lunch break at the store. Did it go well with your late-night studying?

(11.17) Yeah, it was fine. Took forever but it went ok.

(11.17) I talked to Lily this morning.

(11.17) She’s in and she will ask our friends Mary and Marlene if they want to join tomorrow 😊.

(11.18) Awesome! I talked to James last night and convinced him that it was a good idea. Our mate Peter might join also. It’s going to be fun!

(11.18) Sweet. Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.

(11.19) I'm looking forward to seeing you again.

(11.19) I promise I will not be as awkward this time.

(11.19) You weren’t.

(11.19) But I was kind of freaking out when you didn’t understand that it was me at first.

(11.19) Honestly I thought that some hottie was making his moves on me with the whole “Need some help” bit 😉.

(11.20) Well, I kind of was…

(11.20) Babe <3.

(11.20) It worked. Watching you get that damn key out like that was probably the sexiest thing I ever seen in my life.

(11.21) Oh lord...stop that.

(11.21) Nope!

(11.21) You are just so

(11.21) How do you have the confidence to say things like that? I don’t get it.

(11.22) I don’t know, I just say what I feel and think. Do you mind it?

(11.22) No of course not! It’s lovely.

(11.22) I just don’t know how to respond, you know?

(11.23) It’s ok sweet cakes. You don’t have to <3.

(11.23) Do you want to do question six from the list?

(11.23) Uhm sure, do you have time for it?

(11.23) Yeah, I got about another half-hour 😊.

(11.23) Ok let’s do it.

(11.24) Alright, question six:

(11.24) Describe your first kiss.

(11.24) Hah! Sirius you don’t want to ask that question!

(11.24) What! Why!?

(11.25) Cause then you would have to tell me about yours and I already know that it was with you cousin.

(11.25) Oh my god! That doesn’t count!!!

(11.25) I don’t want you to ever hang out with my brother again.

(11.26) That wasn’t a real kiss ok! We were just practicing.

(11.27) Hah WTF! Practicing? Really?

(11.27) Fuck you! It’s perfectly normal to want to practice!

(11.27) Hah, sure you keep telling yourself that.

(11.27) Well fuck, it is! Fucking hell!

(11.27) Ah sweet, sweet Sirius. This made my day. Thank you I needed a good laugh.

(11.28) Arsehole! Answer the question now you twat.

(11.28) Hah ok sure <3

(11.28) My first kiss was (believe it or not) not with anyone I'm related to.

(11.29) Hilarious, wanker. Just tell the story.

(11.30) Ok, Ok. I was seventeen and I had a huge crush on the brother of one of my classmates. He was nineteen and so fucking cool and hot. He used to pick his sister up after school and I always made sure to be in the schoolyard around that time so I could get a glimpse of him. I was truly such a desperate nerdy little shit.

(11.30) Can’t imagine you being “little” but go on.

(11.31) Nah, I was already pretty tall by then, but scrawny and pathetic. Anyway, I didn’t really know the girl but we were lab partners in science class so one day I asked if she wanted to study together at her place.

(11.31) Mhm, getting closer to your target. I get it, smart.

(11.32) Yeah, well that was the plan. But so then I found myself in the car after school with her and her brother. And the whole ride he asked me questions and I was just a fucking mess. I could hardly get a word out. It was painful. And then when we came to her house he disappeared and I was stuck studying with his sister in the kitchen.

(11.33) On pins and needles here!

(11.34) I was hoping that he would show up and hang out in the kitchen. But he didn’t, and I was just so desperate to be around him. So, I said that I had to go to the bathroom but then I sneaked around in her house looking for him. I found him smoking on their patio so I walked out and asked him if I could bum a fag. He let me but I had never smoked before so of course I got a full coughing fit in front of him.

(11.34) Oh sweety </3

(11.35) Then he reached out and grabbed the cigarette from my mouth and looked at me all intensely and I couldn’t breathe because I thought now it’s happening. We’re gonna kiss!!!

(11.35) Fuck me this is enthralling! What happened next!?

(11.36) He leaned in and then he said “You shouldn’t smoke, my sister doesn’t like it”. And then he tossed the fag away, winked at me and walked inside.

(11.36) What, but… no kissing?

(11.37) Nah. I walked inside and joined his sister again and she kissed me.

(11.37) What the fuck. Your first kiss was with the sister? Not the hot guy?

(11.38) Yup, and it was terrible. She almost licked my face off and I had to literally pry her off me to make her stop. Poor girl, apparently had a crush on me. I had no idea.

(11.38) Oh my god Remus. You stud.

(11.39) But I’m sad, I really thought it would be a romcom moment with you and the hot brother.

(11.39) Nah I missed out.

(11.39) Fucked him a few years later though.

(11.40) REMUS! What the fuck!

(11.40) Gosh, I almost fell out of my chair just now. You fucked him!?

(11.40) Hah, yeah he approached me at some club and we hooked up in the bathroom.

(11.41) Oh you dirty slut. Amazing. Tell me all about it!

(11.41) No fucking way. Your turn to answer now!

(11.41) Come on! You can’t drop something like that and not tell me more!

(11.42) Sure can.

(11.42) Tell your story now. I want to hear it before your break is over.

(11.42) Fine. But I’m sulking just so you know.

(11.42) My story won’t be as riveting as yours I’m afraid.

(11.43) Because it was with you cousin?

(11.43) For fucks sake. That didn’t count! You want to hear the story or not!?

(11.43) Go on <3

(11.44) Ok. My first REAL kiss happened when I was fifteen and it was at prom. Very cliché I know.

(11.44) I had the time of my life that night. Me and James and Peter had rented matching sequined suits in this horrible light-blue color. We were idiots, just dancing all night and sneaking away to take sips from a flask that James had snitched from his parents. So I was a bit drunk and in a very overconfident mood, even for me.

(11.45) Overconfident in a blue sequined suit. Pretty impressive I’d say.

(11.46) Hah, yeah you know me. Narcissist and all that 😉.
Pretty late that night I asked the most popular girl in school to dance. She was in the year above us and just your typical It-girl really. Super pretty but kind of an arsehole. She said yes, we slow danced and then I had the splendid idea to start making out with her on the dance floor.

(11.46) Daring yes, sounds like you.

(11.46) It was actually a very good first kiss, or at least I thought so. She was all soft and pretty and tasted like cherries. I was totally into it and didn’t care one bit that we were eating each other’s face in front of the whole school.

(11.47) Uh, gross but ok.

(11.47) Jealous?

(11.47) Maybe…

(11.47) But so what happen then? Did you start dating her? Tell me, were you crowned as prom king?

(11.48) Hah no, no. The kiss lasted like fifteen seconds. Then her boyfriend dragged me away from her and beat me up. I had kind of forgot about him. He was prom king…

(11.48) Seriously?

(11.49) Hah yeah, it wasn’t so bad. He gave me a few punches before people stopped him. James and Peter took care of me and then we went out skinny dipping. It was an awesome night <3.

(11.50) You are actually crazy.

(11.50) Sometimes 😉.

(11.50) And now my break is over! Want to talk more later? Maybe I can call you tonight?

(11.51) Sure yeah that would be nice.

(11.51) Talk to you later you lunatic.

(11.51) Bye, you stud 😉

Thursday Sept 6

(21.02) Hello sweetheart, can I call you now?

(21.04) Yeah, do it 😊

----- Sirius calling -----

“Hiya”

“Hello there”

“How are you?”

“Good, good. You?”

“Great now that I’m talking to you.”

“Hah, very smooth.”

“I'm trying to be.”

”Now that I know what you look like I feel like I have to up my flirting game.”

“Eh, why?”

“Please. You’re hot. Anyone can come and snatch you up any minute. I gotta do my best to stay relevant.”

“Uhm, thanks. But no you don’t have to worry. Nobody is snatching anything up.”

“Nobody?”

“Er... well nobody… else. Nobody else ok?”

“I don’t know. Just… uh.”

“You are adorable when you get flustered Remus.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night.”

“Me too.”

“And I’m shit nervous to be honest.”

“Don’t be, it’s going to be great.”

“Mmm, I just don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“You won’t. I promise if anyone is going to be embarrassing then it’s going to be me. Apparently I’m a pretty insufferable when I drink.”

“Insufferable? You? I can’t imagine…”

“Oh, fuck you very much dearest.”

“ *Laughing* “

“So, what do you wanna talk about?”

“Uhm, I don't know, how many questions do we have left on your list?”

“Four.”

“Hmm, will you be tired of me when we done them all?"

“Hardly babe. The opposite I would assume.”

“Alright then we can do another question if you want to?”

“I'd love to!”

“Let’s see now…oh, right. Uhm question seven is pretty risqué…”

“Oh?”

“Erm yeah.”

“So, question seven…goes like this…”

“What is your craziest sexual experience?”

“Eh..oh.”

“Shit Sirius, these fucking questions.”

“Ha ha, sorry man.”

“I… hmmm…”

“I think I will use my right to skip a question this time...”

“That’s just…I can’t…”

“No, you’re fine. It's a bit much. We can skip it.”

“Oh, you are skipping also huh?”

“Hah, you don’t want me to? You know that I’m not shy honey, if you want me to talk sex then I'd love to. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable?”

“Eh…no actually you can skip it. I… eh… yeah it’s not only that it would make me uncomfortable. I think it would kind of melt my brain.”

“And I need a brain, so…”

“Ha ha, alright, alright. No dirty talk.”

“Yet…”

“Erm, so straight to question eight then! Please tell me that this one is less explicit?”

“Yeah, don’t worry this one is totally wholesome.”

“Actually, the answer to this one might come in handy for us in the future.”

“I’m scared but go on.”

“Question eight…”

“Describe an ideal first date.”

“Oh, yeah that’s a bit easier.”

“Good. You want to go first or should I?”

“You can go first.”

“Ok. Ideal date. Well, you already know that I want to go to the art museum with you and watch you be all nerdy about the paintings. But maybe besides that?”

“Hah, yeah. That one is already decided.”

“Mmm can’t wait!”

“But besides that, I think that an perfect date is more about the company than the activity. I can enjoy pretty much anything as long as I like my company. It wouldn’t matter that much what we do. In an ideal world it would be a long date. Maybe eat lunch somewhere, maybe go to the beach or on a walk in the forest or something. A lot of snogging spread out throughout the day. Then dinner and going out to dance or drink or whatever. If I had it my way the date would go on all night and we would wake up together and you would make me breakfast.”

“Oh, so we are not talking about a hypothetical scenario then?”

“I think we are past hypotheticals babe.”

“So to summarize. I want a really long date and I want to just have fun in your company.”

“Got it. One issue though.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t dance.”

“Ha ha, Remus darling.”

“No really, not under any circumstances. I will not dance.”

“Alright, alright, I can dance around you then.”

“I… well, we can circle back to that.”

“ *Laughing* sure sugar. What about you then. Ideal date? Standing still and reading a book maybe?”

“Fuck you wanker. I can be fun, I just don’t dance.”

“Yeah yeah, so what would we do then? No hypotheticals.”

“Uhm ok. Well, I like most of the things that you mentioned. I would like you to show me all the places you enjoy in this town. Like if there is a specific part of the beach that you like or some spot in the forest that is your favorite. And the music store, I would like you to show me around in there.”

“Really? I would love that.”

“Yeah. And I would like to show you my favorite places too. Not only the museum but other places also. There’s this spot in the library that is my absolute favorite. It’s kind of secluded and there’s this cozy sofa by a window and it smells nice of the books and stuff.”

“Hah, I knew that you wanted to read on your perfect date you big nerd!”

“No shithead we don’t need to read. Like I said, it’s a secluded, hidden part with a cozy sofa…”

“Oh..”

“Right… I would be up for that…”

“Mhm.”

“Fuck it’s damn lucky that I get to see you tomorrow Remus. I’m starting to climb the fucking walls here.”

“Hah, yeah I know. Same.”

“Mmm, so anything else you want to add to our ideal date?”

“No, not really. It sounds pretty perfect the combination of ours.”

“Yeah it does.”

“Alright. Maybe we should say goodnight now? I don't want to finish all the questions actually. I kind of enjoy them to be honest.”

“That makes me happy! I enjoy them to. And you are right we should get our beauty sleep.”

“Hah like you need it.”

“Aw, aren’t you cute.”

"..."

“I'm not going to do the whole bit were we just repeat ‘No you’re cute, no you’re cute’, over and over again.”

“You are no fun.”

“Good night now Sirius.”

“Yeah, goodnight Remus, dream sweet dreams.”

“You too.”

----- Call ended -----

Chapter Text

Friday Sept 7

19.30

Remus couldn’t focus on what Lily, Mary and Marlene were talking about. The closer they were getting to the pub, the harder it was for him to keep his concentration on whatever topic they were discussing. Mary and Marlene were walking arm in arm close together under one umbrella, while Lily and Remus tried their best to hide from the rain under one of their own despite their height difference. It didn’t work to anyone’s favor so both him and her were half soaked by the relentless rain that had been pouring down the last hour. It bothered him a little bit that he would have to stumble into the pub looking like a half-drowned dog when he met Sirius again. But he knew that it bothered Lily more that her hair was frizzing up to resemble a wet bird’s nest just before she was supposed to meet James again. So, Remus tried his best to hold the umbrella over her head and instead let the chilly rain fall over himself.

He was nervous. The feeling of anticipation that the day started with had gradually been exchanged with the tight ball of nerves he now felt in his stomach. He tried his best to relax and breathe as they walked together towards the pub. He had been going through his mantra a few times during their walk from Lilys place. Thinking that this situation might as well be just a story instead of real life and he could be just a character in it. It helped a bit but the closer they got to the pub the harder it was to pretend that his own real flesh and blood very soon would meet Sirius again.

He had gotten a text about forty-five minutes ago from Sirius telling him that they already were there. He wasn’t sure if it made it worse or better knowing that they would already be there when him and the girls arrived. Worse maybe since he wouldn’t have a chance to dry himself off to become more representable before being noticed by Sirius.

They hadn’t talked much that day. Earlier Sirius just texted about the time and the place for their meetup, and he had emphasized again that he was looking forward to it.

“I can’t wait to see you babe. It’s going to be great, don’t worry today.”

Sadly, that text only had the opposite effect since it led Remus to worrying much more then he had before. 

'Can’t wait to see you'.
Remus felt his anxiety building in his chest again when thinking of those words. He believed Sirius, he had no doubt that he was excited. Remus didn’t think that it was possible for Sirius to fake or hide feelings. It didn’t seem to be in his nature. So that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was Remus.
Remus knew himself and despite what Lily repeatedly tried to tell him he knew that he wasn’t likable like her or Sirius. He was bland, shy, quiet and pretty boring. When someone was interested in him it usually only lasted for a short while.

Sometimes he felt like one of those jigsaw puzzles were you wouldn't know the motive until the puzzle was built. When someone tried to get to know him it was because they wanted to see the complete finished image of the puzzle in hope that it would be something special. So, they started to build it with great interest. Getting to know him, trying to figure out who he was. Then slowly as the pieces fell together, they would realize that it wasn’t more to him than met the eye. He didn’t hide any intriguing quality behind his quiet nature. He was just him. So, when they laid the last piece of the puzzle and looked at the image that they had spent their time building, they were always disappointed. And then they moved on.

There were a few exceptions to this of course. The three girls walking next to him being some of them. They hadn’t gotten bored of him yet and Remus was eternally grateful for that. But generally, Remus didn’t expect people to stay when the puzzle was finished. Honestly, he usually didn’t care much if they did.

But this time was different. This time he cared. He wanted Sirius to stay. But it felt like he was on a timer. The timer had started as soon as Sirius had written to him and then kept writing. Sirius was interested, he was invested in the puzzle. But someone like Sirius wouldn’t be satisfied with the finished image. Someone like Sirius wouldn’t stay. Someone who emanated light, who was unapologetically honest, open and warm. It was just a question about how much time it would take for him to be over whatever flirty thing they had going on. Remus intended to enjoy every minute of it while it lasted. But he couldn’t help to dread the day that the texts would stop coming and the prospects of all the dates and sweet things they talked about would be over. He tried to shake the feeling off and focus on that night and the positive anticipation of how it might end up.

Mary and Marlene had been stoked to be included in the plan. Lily and they had worked together in the same café since high school ended and during these years their duo had become a natural part om Remus’ life. They were always off and on. Sometimes dating exclusively. Sometimes broken up and only friends. Sometimes dating each other and other people at the same time. Remus couldn’t keep up with their wild endeavors and he had no idea what their status was right now. Probably not broken up at least because he could catch Marlene caressing Mary’s hand lovingly as their fingers intertwined holding their shared umbrella. Remus smiled looking at them. They really made a stunning pair. Mary with her wild dark locks and Marlene with her blond dreads. Mary laughed her loud laugh at something that Lily had said, and Remus felt a warmness around his heart. At least he wasn’t alone. At least he had his friends and even if this night would go sideways in any way, he would still have them.

He wasn’t prepared when they suddenly halted to a stop in front of the door to the pub. He heard the muffled loud noises of people inside. Remus felt his nerves increasing rapidly and his heart beating faster in his chest.

He was not the only one.

“Fuck me. Here we are,” Lilys said and Remus could hear the nerves in her shaky voice.

Mary smiled at them and untangled her hand from Marlene’s. She stepped over to Lily to fix a part of her hair that were particularly dishevels by the rain. Then she grabbed a Kleenex from her bag and gently padded it under Lilys eyes removing any trace of mascara that had been smudged by the wet weather. She then took a step back appraising her before she jumped over to Remus. He willingly bent his head down so she could reach his hair and fix it. Then she took a step back looking over them both with a glint in her eyes and nodded in a resolute manner.

“Let's fucking make these men fall in love, yeah?” She said before turning around and open the pub door.

They stepped into the loud and crowded pub and it didn’t even take Remus a second to spot them. They had taken a corner booth just a few steps in from the door. James sitting furthest to the left, tapping his glass repeatedly in a nervous motion. His hair was messy, and his round glasses rested on the bridge of his nose. He wore a dark blue denim shirt and Remus felt almost sorry for Lily since he knew she had a thing for men in denim and he looked particulary dashing.

A person that Remus assumed must be Peter were sitting next to James. Peter was a pretty small guy with flat, rat colored hair. He wore a brightly colored, checkered flannel shirt and he had it buttoned all the way up his neck. He wouldn’t have been standing out very much if it wasn’t for the extensive number of piercings he had in his face. His eyebrows, nose, lips, cheeks and ears were all covered with them. It probably would have made him look hard and dangerous if not for his kind looking eyes and smile. Right now, he was turned with a wide grin looking at Sirius.

Sirius.
He was sitting at the edge of the table, gesturing wildly with his hands, with a cheeky smile, chatting on about something that Remus couldn’t hear over the crowd. Remus felt his cheeks getting warmer just by seeing him. His face was so open, with his beautiful silver-grey eyes squinting from laughter. He wore a white t-shirt with no print. His long, black hair were cascading down and framing his face perfectly. The contrast between the black and the white was startling. Remus wasn’t sure from this distance, but it looked like maybe he was wearing eyeliner around his eyes. Remus felt his stomach tumbling and he thought of the dragons that he had described the feeling as.

They hadn’t seen them yet but just as Remus thought that he might have the chance to sneak into the bathroom to look himself in a mirror, James looked up straight at them. His eyes widened and Sirius and Peter noticed that their friend had lost focus and they followed his gaze. Remus locked eyes with Sirius and his heart felt like it would jump out of his chest when he saw Sirius surprised face widen to a big glowing heartwarming grin.

Remus watched him stand up quickly, waving to his friends, encouraging them to do the same. Then he practically skipped over to Remus and the girls on bouncy feet. To Remus’ surprise Sirius leapt forward towards him, throwing his arms around him in a tight hug. Remus almost stumbled backwards as Sirius body crashed into his, he caught a whiff off whiskey and peppermint. Before he could collect his sanity enough to hug him back Sirius had let him go and took a step back.

“Fuck, you’re all wet!” He exclaimed with a wide grin and gleaming eyes while appraising Remus up and down. Remus saw that Sirius’ white t-shirt had dark stains now from the rainwater of Remus’ body. He quickly flicked his eyes up to Sirius face to not be caught staring at his chest. This was hardly any less distracting though. Sirius smile with those soft looking lips was a breathtaking view.

“It… it’s raining,” Remus answer dumbly and felt his blush spreading more.

Sirius grinned even wider before turning his attention to the three girls standing next to Remus.

“Lily! You are a vision as always!”

She stopped her attempt of combining her hair down and looked at Sirius with arched surprised eyebrows. Remus knew that they never had spoken before but that both of them recognized each other from the store. Before she could answer him, he turned to Mary with his hand stretched out.

“Hi, I’m Sirius. Pleased to meet you!” He said and shook her hand and then Marlene’s.

Mary and Marlene both beamed at him. Remus couldn’t blame them. Sirius was sparkling with intoxicating energy. Like he was the sun shining on a cold day.

“Hi, Sirius,” Mary said with a smirk. “I’m Mary and this is my girlfriend Marlene.”

Remus took a mental note that they then were in an 'on' period of their relationship.

“You want to introduce us to your friends?” She continued and tilted her head looking over Sirius shoulder towards James and Peter who had joined them.

“Of course,” Sirius nodded enthusiastically and put his arm around Peter. “This is Peter. Or, if you want to, you can call him Wormtail.”

“Please don’t,” Peter said rolling his eyes. “That’s just Sirius being a right arsehole.” He reached his hand out giving everyone a handshake.

“Arsehole smarsehole,” Sirius laughed. “Anyway, this is James. Also called Prongs, Jamsie-boy, hotness on legs, pretty boy Potter!”

James looked like he wanted to fall off the face of earth as he reached forward to shake Marlene and Mary’s hands. “James is fine” he muttered. He waved quickly to Remus and then with an inhale turned to Lily and just stared.

There was an awkward silence like that. James staring and Lily staring back. After a while Lily raised one eyebrow in a challenging look and James broke his stare and looked away.

Sirius cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. “Er, right so, first round is on me. Any requests?”

Everybody gave them their order while Sirius led them to the table and directed them to the coatrack next to it for their jackets. Remus felt Sirius eyes on him when he removed his drenched jacket and tried to squeeze out rainwater from the collar of his knitted sweater.

Before Sirius could leave to buy the drinks, Lily spoke. “Erm, Remus you should help him out,” She said and gave Remus a very unsubtle push in his back.

Sirius beamed at her and she gave him a wink back.

The two of them walked up to the crowded bar and Sirius ordered the list of drinks. Remus tried to focus on his breathing. Sirius was standing so very close to his side that Remus could feel his arm next to his. The proximity and intoxicating scent of him made Remus’ head dizzy.

When the drinks were ordered Sirius turned towards Remus with his wide grin plastered all over his face.

“I have to admit something,” he said with a look full of mischief. “We did some shots before you guys came so I’m just a teensy bit drunk right now.”

Remus laughed, “That explains the… extra giddiness.”

“Hey,” Sirius said with mock offence and gave Remus a soft punch with his knuckle against his shoulder. “I am a subtle drunk, thank you very much.”

“Mhm, sure,” Remus said. “Subtlety seems to be one of your strong suits.”

Sirius stuck out his tongue playfully towards him and Remus felt the heat radiating on his cheeks again and his own smile widen.

Sirius gazed at Remus' reddening face for a while with a pondering look. Then he reached out his hand and grazed Remus’ left cheek softly with his index finger. Remus assumed that Sirius would comment on the scar, and he brazed himself since that was a conversation, he really didn’t feel like having in that moment. But Sirius didn’t look at the scar, his eyes were locked on Remus cheeks which his fingertip gently stroked a few times until he dropped his hand.

“I like your dimples,” he said almost shyly, and Remus couldn’t help the grin that came over his face. This god of a human liked his dimples. The planets were aligning and somehow this reincarnation of a bright star was looking at Remus like he was the world. Remus bit his lip and tried to collect his features. Sirius eyes widened a bit, but he didn’t say anything else. Just looked up at Remus face with glowing eyes.

“Um, so what’s with the nicknames?” Remus finally said.

Sirius smirked, “It’s a thing from school. We came up with those stupid nicknames for each other then. They both hate theirs, but you know me… I like to tease.”

He said it with a small wink and Remus huffed.

“What’s yours then? Caterpillarleg maybe? Anything is possible if theirs are Wormtail and Prongs.”

“No,” Sirius chuckled quietly, “It's Padfoot.” He looked at Remus for a reaction.

“Padfoot…” Remus repeated. “Padfoot. Why Padfoot?”

Sirius was silent for a while contemplating before he answered.

“I have very soft feet,” He finally said with a smirk.

Remus raised his eyebrows. “No, that's not it. You’re lying.”

Sirius winked again. “I’ll tell you another time.”

Remus heart warmed by the thought having more moments like this with Sirius and he hoped that he would be so lucky.

The barman interrupted his daydreaming by shovelling forward two trays of different drinks on the counter. They took one each and walked over to the table to join the rest of their friends. They sat down and Sirius barked out a loud laugh when he heard that they were talking about what a ridiculous nickname Wormtail was.

Remus smirked down into his glass. He thought of what a lovely laugh Sirius had and how soft his fingertips had felt against his skin. He took one sip and smiled in anticipation of how this night would go.

.

.

.

22.47

Remus sipped his third beer of the evening while looking at Sirius. It had been an interesting night so far. Sirius seemed to get along great with his friends. Mary and him had immediately fallen into banter like they had known each other forever. Marlene and Sirius had bonded over their shared preference for whisky based cocktails. Lily seemed to have fallen for Sirius funny stories and glowing energy even though she had tried to keep a protective and skeptical attitude in the beginning of the night. And Sirius was magnetic. He was so funny and energetic. He asked questions but also held long monologues with stories that made the whole company gasp with laughter. Remus could hardly look away from the pure experience that was Sirius.

They hadn’t talked much with each other since their moment at the bar. Mostly the conversations included everyone at the table and Remus was content with sitting back and observing. Sometimes he added something small to a topic but mostly he was just listening and watching. From time-to-time Sirius would turn towards him and watch him with intense eyes. Always with a smile on his lips. Their thighs were brushing together under the table, and it felt like electric shocks going through his system.

Remus tried his best to shut the anxious part of his brain off. He was just trying to enjoy this moment and not overthink it. But it was hard. Every time Sirius looked at him with that smoldering gaze Remus felt like he would melt to a puddle in his chair. But then he also had to push back the voice in his head that told him that there would be a limited amount of those gazes for him to experience. Sirius wouldn’t stay after the puzzle was built.

He knew that he probably should try harder. He should be funny and outgoing to impress the man next to him. But he had learned from experience that faking it only made it worse. He couldn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t for a very long time, so even if he did try now, it would still come a time that Sirius would be disappointed and leave. So, he just tried to push back the feeling of dread and concentrate on enjoying this moment for what it was.

Right now, Sirius were turned towards the three girls at the table. He was deep into a long story about him, James and Peter and one of the many pranks that they had been up to at high school. Lily, Mary and Marlene looked at him mesmerized with tears in their eyes from laughing. Peter was sitting in between Marlene and James and he was rolling his eyes at something Sirius said but still smiled. Remus liked Peter, he seemed to have a very dry humor and was a perfect balance to Sirius more eccentric way of talking whenever they told a story that included them both. Sirius would tell most of the story in a loud and theatrical way and Peter would jump in with some perfectly placed comment that would have them all in stitches from laughing. Everyone but James.

Remus looked over to his right. James had been very quiet all night. Right now, he was looking down into his empty glass, Remus wasn’t sure how many he was up in now, but it was way more than any of the others at the table. He was swaying a bit with his head, blinking hard and looked miserable. During the night he had made some attempts to talk to Lily. But every time it was like he started to malfunction. He would suddenly interrupt whoever was talking and just blurt something random out towards her. She tried her best to respond but to him, but he would just look down to his drink or empty it and leave the table to get another one. It was like watching a plane crash on repeat and it was painful. The last hour he had been completely quiet and just sipped his beer. Remus could tell that Lily was bothered. She was laughing and talking normally to the others, but Remus could see her gaze flicking towards James repeatedly and a small furrow between her brow as she did so.

Remus heart hurt by the look of him. He didn’t know James, but he believed Sirius when he had spoken about what a good guy he was. This behavior wasn’t out of malice. It was something else.

Remus nudged James in his side to get his attention. James looked up from his drink and met Remus gaze with unfocused eyes. Remus gestured with his head for him to follow and stood up silently and left the table. James hesitated a moment but then stood up and joined him. Remus found his way to a door that led to an outdoor patio viewing a garden behind the pub. It had a few tables and benches but was empty of people. The heavy rain was strumming against the metal plates that made a roof and Remus immediately felt how nice it was to take a break from the loud noises and thick scents of the pub. He sat down at a bench without a table, overlooking the garden, and James took the seat next to him.

James bent forward and put his head in his hands. They sat there in silence for a while before James spoke.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Remus felt his heart break a bit for the devastated tone in James' voice.

He waited a bit and searched for the right thing to say but before he could speak James raised his head and looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I don’t want her to think that I’m an idiot. But I just don’t know how to act around her. It’s like I forget how to be a human or something. I just can’t get it together and I can see the way she looks at me now like she regretted ever talking to me. I hate it. I just want to get to know her and her to get to know me. It should be so fucking hard, should it!?”

James breathed loudly and then looked over at Remus petrified like he was getting ready to be punched.

“Look,” Remus started. “I get it. I know how it is to get in your head. It’s easy to act normal when there’s no pressure but as soon as someone expect something out of you it’s a lot harder. “

James nodded eagerly.

Remus continued, “It can be really fucking hard. And I'm just guessing here but it seems like you have been caught in some kind of spiral were the more you want to impress her the less capable you are to not only act impressive but also act anything like yourself?

James sighed, “Spot on”.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, Lily is confused right now. She doesn’t think you’re an idiot, but she also has some insecurities, and this makes it hard for her to believe that you are interested. The only validation she had gotten that you are is from Sirius and she doesn’t know him yet so it’s hard for her to really trust it.”

James put his head down in his hands again and groaned. “Fuck! I don’t want her to feel insecure. The opposite. She should feel like a damn goddess. I can’t believe how fucking cool and funny and beautiful she is. She should never feel insecure.”

Remus smiled. He agreed, Lily was one of a kind and James had only seen a little bit of her extraordinary personality so far but he was already a wreck for her.

“I have a suggestion if you don’t mind me interfering,” Remus said.

James looked up again and nodded. He looked like a lost puppy. If it wasn’t so sad it would have been comical.

“You should try to sober up a bit. Go in and drink some water and then buy a few trays of chips for the table. Lily is a sucker for salty snacks when she’s drinking. Then you should try to sit next to her, and you should say that you are sorry for how you are acting but that you really like her.”

James looked scared shitless but nodded slowly.

“And then you should ask her how her day was today. They had a whole thing at the café that she works at where a muffin tray caught fire and they had to evacuate the kitchen. She will tell you about that and you can ask her follow-up questions about how she likes working in a café and how long she worked there and stuff.”

James looked like he was doing his best to memorize everything Remus said.

“If you can’t manage to do any of that right now then instead you should write her a note saying you’re sorry and then you should just go home. I promise I will vouch for you and do my best to get her to give you another chance.”

James smiled half-heartedly towards Remus.

They were silent for a bit. Then James sighed and said “I get why he likes you so much.”

Remus felt his cheeks flush.

James continued, “Thank you for talking to me and trying to help. I really appreciate it.”

“No worries.” Remus smiled.

James looked away from Remus and instead stared into the garden. “Is it okay that we just stay here for a little bit longer. I don’t think I have the courage yet to actually go in there and try.”

Remus patted James’ shoulder lightly. “Of course. However long you need.”

Then they sat there in silence, listening to the pattering sound of the rain falling heavy on the roof.

23.03

Sirius was on cloud nine. He was living. The buzz from the alcohol was at a perfect level, not too much but not too little. The loud noises from the crowd in the pub made his ears tingle with satisfaction. And Remus was beautiful. More than beautiful. Stunning, handsome, hot. When the girls and him had entered the pub looking all disheveled by the rain Sirius first thought had been that they looked pretty miserable. But when he stood up, walked up to them and looked at Remus more closely he had realized that he had been very mistaken. Being drenched in water was shockingly becoming on Remus. Cool drops were lingering to his skin and running down his neck to disappear under his collar. His cheeks were flushed by the sudden heat of the pub and the faint, pale scar across his face seemed to almost glow. His hair was a mess in the cutest way. Wet locks sticking out in various directions, some plastered to his forehead and some standing right up. And his eyes. His fucking green eyes and heavy lashes with small water droplets caught in them. He was just a fucking dream.

Sirius hadn’t planned to hug him. He had planned to be cool and collected. Be as close as he would dare but not touch Remus without consent. So, he was shocked when he realized that he had thrown himself on Remus’ tall body and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. He had taken one deep breath inhaling the alluring scent of Remus. He smelled like a forest in the rain. He smelled amazing. Then Sirius had gotten a hold of himself, jumped back and joked it off while trying to not linger on the thought that Remus hadn’t hugged him back.

When they had waited for their drinks at the bar, Sirius had felt the pressing need to touch Remus again. His hair was still damp and the skin on his face had a sheen from the rain on it. When he smiled those fucking dimples appeared in his cheeks and Sirius just hadn’t been able to resist the urge to reach out and touch them. He hadn’t been sure of how Remus would react to that. They guy was a mystery. He had confirmed that he was attracted to Sirius and they had talked about going on dates and that they were into each other. But still he didn’t act like most people did when they were into Sirius.

Usually, Sirius could immediately tell when someone was interested. He could also usually feel the persons intentions. Sometimes it was very clear that someone was giving him fuck-me eyes and that the interest mostly was with Sirius physical appearance. Sometimes he could see another type of interest in a person eyes, something deeper than lust. It was more like a fondness and a need to be around him. It was always pretty clear. But not with Remus. When he smiled towards Sirius and looked at him with those intense eyes Sirius had no idea what he was thinking. His eyes didn’t convey lust like others sometimes did. And it wasn’t the eyes of infatuation that others could have. It was like there was something else and it made Sirius both intrigued and very nervous. He wanted Remus to be both infatuated with him, and for him to want to fuck him. He wanted Remus to like him. A lot. Maybe more than he had wanted someone to like him ever before. He couldn’t really figure out why. Yes, obviously the man in front of him was fucking gorgeous. But even before he knew that it had been something about him that made Sirius’ knees go weak. He didn’t get it and it scared him because it felt like he was on new territory with this guy.

When he had dropped his finger from touching Remus cheek and Remus had bitten his lip as a reaction, Sirius had been stunned. He looked so fucking hot, but again Sirius couldn’t tell if the reaction from Remus was heated or cold. What the fuck was it that made him so hard to read. Or was it Sirius that was temporarily blind? Maybe he just had lost some of his brain function the minute that Remus had entered the pub? It had happened when they had met on the street so that felt like a good enough explanation to his inability to read Remus. Sirius brain simply didn’t function when he was looking at this beautiful mystery of a man.

He had a great night so far. Marlene, Mary and Lily were watching him with glowing eyes, enthralled by the story he was deep in right now. He loved this, loved to be the center of attention and to make people laugh and look at him with joy an admiration. He adored when he had the ability to capture people’s interest, especially people he wanted to impress, and he really wanted to impress Remus' friends.

He knew that he was balancing the knifes edge with his behavior. More than often, he could be too much, too intense, too theatrical and too attention seeking. It just happened, he got into a mode and continued until he realized that the smiles of the people around had him lost some of their genuine feeling. He could always notice it, not always directly but after a while it would be clear that he had lost them. That they had enjoyed his stories and antics up to a point but that it had gotten just a bit too much.

But he didn’t see it in their eyes yet and he was living for it. Mary was drying up tears of laughter from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. Marlene was rubbing her cheeks from smiling too much and Lily had this knowing smile on her lips that made him believe that she genuinely liked him.

Lilys approval was vital. He had stressed about it all day. He wanted her to like him. She was Remus best friend and hopefully would be dating James soon. And she was so cool. She had this air around her of not giving a fuck. She wore a crochet vest over a flowy printed blouse that really nobody should be able to pull off. But she did, she looked awesome. And she was funny. Earlier she had told a story about how she and Remus had broken into their school after hours and tried to get high on sniffing felt pens. Sirius had laughed until his stomach hurt by the picture of Remus tall body crawling in a narrow window and pushing pens up his nose. No, Lily was great and James needed to get his shit together because he had been silent basically all night and it was starting to be a bit painful.

Sirius turned around to include his friend in the climax of his story. After all it had been James that had spray painted the caretaker’s cat Mrs Norris blue. He saw, to his horror, that James seat was empty and not only that, the seat next to him where Remus had been placed all night with his long leg pressed against Sirius' was also empty. Sirius stopped himself mid-sentence and gaped at the empty seats.

“They walked out a while ago.” Peter said calmly over the table.

Sirius turned to him. “They did?”

Peter nodded.

Fuck. Sirius could fucking hit himself. He had been so busy enjoying the positive attention from the three girls at the table that he had completely forgotten about not only Remus, who was the whole reason he was there in the first place. But also, James. James that had begged him beforehand to be his wingman, to help him out if he got too nervous. James who was his best friend and that Sirius knew had been in agony because he wanted the night to go well. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was bad. Maybe the worst yet.

It was not the first time this had happened. James and Peter were kind of used to nights like this. Especially if there were new people involved because then they knew that Sirius loved nothing more than winning the affection of strangers. They would tease him about it, sometimes subtly hinting that he needed to chill a bit. Most often they would say that they didn’t mind though. They loved him for who he was, and none of them had the same need of being the star of the table. He trusted them when they said that because he knew that they also would tell him when he stepped over the line. Right now, Peter was giving him the look that let Sirius know that the line had been overstepped. His insides plummeted.

“Maybe you should go check on them,” Peter said inclining his head towards the door out to the patio. “I can finish the story.”

Sirius nodded and made a mental note of thanking Peter later.

“Eh, yeah, I should. Sorry girls but Peter actually tells this part better. He does a mean impression of Mr. Filch the caretaker.”

Mary and Marlene turned towards Peter expectantly, but Lilys gaze lingered a bit on Sirius as he stood up and left the table.

He shuffled between tables quickly and opened the backdoor to see James and Remus sitting next to each other on a bench. James were talking about something, and Remus looked at him with that cheek dimpled smile. Sirius felt a sting of jealously that he immediately pushed down. He had no right to be jealous of them having fun together. He was the one who had forgotten all about them.

They both noticed him and turned their heads when the door closed behind him with a loud creak.

“Sirius!” James smiled. “I was just talking about you.”

“Yeah?” Sirius said cautiously as he walked over to them. “What about?”

James laughed. “Okay, don’t kill me but I told Remus about the last time we were outside here remember?”

Sirius felt the blood rushing to his cheeks of the memory of him standing at the table and drunkenly doing a karaoke routine in front of a full crowd even though there hadn’t been a karaoke machine there.

“Right, eh…” He laughed nervously.

“I had no idea that Taylor Swift was your go to karaoke artist?” Remus said with a huge teasing smile.

“Well, she is a fucking queen so of course she is. Cruel summer is my jam,” Sirius smiled back at him.

Then he turned towards James and the guilt came back, running over him like a train. “Fuck, James I'm so sorry.”

James smile fell and was exchanged with concern. He stood up and put his hand on Sirius shoulders. “What mate? What’s wrong?”

Sirius threw himself at his friend in a hug. “I’m so sorry, I promised you that I would help you tonight and make sure that you and Lily got to talk. But I got totally wrapped in the fucking Sirius show as usual, and I totally fucked it up for you and I’m sorry.”

James wrapped his arms around Sirius and hugged him gently. “Mate it’s ok, it’s not your fault. I am the one fucking up. You’re great, they all love you.”

“No but I promised you. We had decided, you were going to sit next to her and me and I was going to help you start conversations. I forgot it all like a fucking idiot.”

“It's fine mate, it’s fine. Even if you had I wouldn’t have been able to say something that made any sense. Don’t worry about it.” James let him go and looked at him. “And Remus helped, he gave me a few tips and talked me up from the hole I’m digging. So, it’s really fine.”

Sirius turned over to Remus that looked wildly uncomfortable sitting there on the bench.

“We are fine okay,” James smiled and then he sighed resolutely. “I am going to go inside now, drink a shit ton of water and then I’m going to go and talk to her. If I fuck up again then it’s all my fault and you can help me later to pick up the pieces of my splintered heart, okay?”

“Yeah alright…” Sirius felt a bit better, but he still couldn’t help feeling guilty. Remus had been forced to step in and be the friend to James that Sirius was supposed to have been. What did he think of him now? Sirius had proved all night that he was the insufferable diva that Remus had teased him about being. Had he lost his interest now that he had seen in person just how self-centered Sirius could be? Probably. Sirius felt miserable.

James looked at him and seem to recognize the turmoil that was going on in Sirius body. He leaned forward and whispered, “I think he really likes you.” Then he gave Sirius a kiss on his forehead and walked inside.

It went quiet except for the relentless sound of the falling rain. Sirius took a deep breath and then sat himself next to Remus who was still sitting there with his long legs stretched out. He was looking down at his knee where he was twirling a piece of thread from the ripped hole in his jeans. Sirius felt like there were stones around his heart. Remus was probably so disappointed. He had been excited about tonight, Sirius new that. But Sirius had fucked it up and now this stunning man next to him didn’t even want to look at him. Fuck.

“I get it now,” Sirius said quietly. “The altruistic eagle thing.”

Remus shuffled in his seat but didn’t look up.

“I didn’t really get it when you told me that your ex had called you that, an altruistic eagle. But I think I do now. It’s like you are watching from afar but you have these sharp eyes that lets you pick up on everything. So, like tonight when James needed someone, you just stepped in and took care of him. And it sounds like you knew exactly what to say to make him feel better.”

He saw Remus lips quirk in a smile as he kept on twirling the piece of thread.

“I'm sorry about tonight,” Sirius continued almost in a whisper.

Remus lifted his head then and looked at him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide.

“Why?” He asked in his calm voice.

Sirius exhaled and tipped his head back looking at the ceiling. “For being so fucking much. I know I warned you and you already know that I’m a fucking self-centered prick but still. I didn’t want to take over the whole night. I wanted to… be with you. And to be a friend to James, but I got so wrapped up in wanting your friends to like me that I forgot myself and – I just fucked up.”

Remus was quiet and Sirius didn’t dare to look at him, so he just kept staring into the ugly metal plate ceiling.

After a while he heard Remus sigh.

“You didn’t fuck up at all,” he said, his voice sounding oddly strained. Sirius tilted his head slightly towards him and watched his face. Remus had his gaze locked at Sirius’ neck but when he saw Sirius move, he turned his gaze toward his face and looked him in the eyes.

“I think you are…mesmerizing,” Remus said quietly keeping Sirius’ gaze. Sirius felt his pulse increasing and the stones around his heart scattering.

“You were amazing all night. Just so fucking funny, and warm and you don’t need to worry, my friends like you very much. They did from the moment that you skipped over to us like you were walking on some fucking cloud and not on the stinking floor of an overcrowded pub. It’s like that, it’s like you are beaming light like a goddamn angel on a cloud.”

Remus dropped his gaze and turned his head down looking at his knee again. “Yeah, James had a shitty night but he will be fine. I'll talk to Lily and she will get it. He’s not an areshole, I can tell.”

Sirius watched as patches of red were forming up Remus’ neck and cheeks. Sirius wanted to touch them to see if they were as warm as they looked.

“So, don’t worry about it ok? I get that you probably can be too much sometimes but tonight wasn’t like that. You are just fucking… fucking amazing,” He finished and sighed heavy.

Sirius felt him self beaming. Remus though he was amazing. Remus though he was mesmerizing. Remus still liked him.

Sirius looked down at Remus left hand that laid in between them, holding the edge of the bench with white knuckles like he was holding it to not fall off. Sirius reached his hand forward and put it over Remus’ and held it there tightly. He could feel Remus hand flinch slightly under his and then relax. Then he let go of the edge of the bench, turned his hand over so his palm faced Sirius' and their fingers intertwined. They sat like that for a while, both looking down at their hands. Sirius felt his pulse in his ears. Remus’ hand was warm, and his skin was rough. Some of his long fingers had rings on them.

“What’s with the rings?” Sirius said with a breathier tone than he would have liked.

Remus smiled his crooked smile and kept his gaze at their hands. He lifted their hands and turned them without letting go, so Sirius could see his rings closer. He then pointed at the middle one with his other hand. It was the head of a wolf in silver, with its mouth gaping and fangs out.

“This one my mother gave me when I graduated high school. She bought it as a joke because you know ‘Lupin, Wolf’. But I kind of like it.” 

He pointed at the ring next to it on his index finger, “This one Lily gave me a few weeks after that. She said that the wolf should have some company.”

Sirius recognized it as a moonstone, it was pale white and round. Together they looked like the wolf was howling up at the full moon. Sirius smirked; Lily had nailed it.

“Moony,” he whispered almost to himself.

“What was that?” Remus asked looking up from their intertwined hands to look at Sirius.

Sirius smiled widely at him. “Moony. That’s you. You should be called Moony…”

Remus laughed and it sounded like music in Sirius ears. “Not another fucking nickname.”

Sirius grinned wider and kept his gaze locked at Remus. “Oh yes, Moony babe, another fucking nickname,” He said mischievous. “It’s perfect for you. Beautiful and mysterious as the moon.”

A small frown appeared between Remus brows but then it disappeared just as fast and his smile turned wide and his eyes were glowing looking back at Sirius. The green shade with the specks of gold making him look like some wild fairytale being.

Sirius leaned his head just slightly forward towards him. He wanted to be closer. Wanted to see what Remus would do if he was.

Remus eyes widened by Sirius movement, but his smile didn’t fall. He looked like he was contemplating something. Sirius could see how his gaze flickered between Sirius eyes and his mouth and he felt his pulse quicken again. Did Remus want to kiss him? Sirius held his breath in anticipation.

Fuck, how he wanted to be kissed by Remus. But he wanted it to be Remus’ initiative. Sirius didn’t want to be to forward. Remus knew where he stood, Sirius had made it very clear to him and even though he really, really wanted to kiss Remus now he knew that it had to be Remus who made that move. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be sure that it truly was what Remus wanted. So, Sirius just kept his gaze and tried to be as still as he could, waiting for Remus to decide.

Remus bit his lower lip absentmindedly, his eyes now locked on Sirius lips. Fucking stop biting your lip or I will not be able to contain myself Sirius wanted to scream. But he pushed down every reaction he wanted to have to the man in front of him.

Then Remus surprised Sirius. He furrowed his brow again and reached his hand forward, the one that wasn’t intertwined with Sirius’. With a steady motion he gently cupped Sirius jaw. He then caressed his thumb slowly over Sirius lower lip.

“Just as soft as they look,” He mumbled almost like a whisper.

Sirius lip quivered from the touch. Remus warm hand on his jaw and the feeling of his thumb tracing his lips was enough to make his breath hitch. Remus gaze lifted from his lips to Sirius’ eyes again. He looked determined and almost hungry. Sirius loved that look. He felt Remus pulling him forward towards him and Sirius followed the motion willingly. He closed his eyes and prepared to feel Remus lips against his when he heard the sudden creaking noise of the door. Remus instantly let go of both his face and his hand and Sirius’ eyes flickered open.

“Hi there babe,” A familiar voice said behind him.

Sirius felt his stomach falling when he turned his head saw the last fucking person he wanted to meet right then, standing there with a cunning smirk on his lips.

Chapter Text

Friday Sept 7
23.48

The rain was relentless, and Remus couldn’t feel his face. The water sprayed down on him like if the heavens had open just to spite him. He had left the umbrella when he ran out of the pub. Despite his emotional turmoil he at least had the decency to remember to leave it there for Lily to use.

He was almost home; it wasn’t a long walk, but he was completely drenched by now and the feeling of his clothes sticking to his skin was incredibly uncomfortable. Remus longed for his dry, warm flat and increased the speed of his steps even more until he was basically jogging.

“Hi there babe.”

His first feeling when someone had opened the door had been irritation. The fucking timing some people had. He had been inches away from kissing Sirius and he had wanted it so bad. Sirius had looked ethereal out there. He had been backlit by the warm light from the pub, strands of black hair flowing down his shoulders. His pale skin almost luminescent in the damp air and his sweet, pink, soft lips smiling at Remus like if the two of them were the only ones that existed in that moment. Remus hadn’t been able to help himself. He had to feel how those lips felt and touching them with his thumb had only incentivized him towards the decision to be bold and actually kiss him. Then that fucking guy had appeared.

“Hi there babe.”

Remus saw how Sirius whole body stiffened by the sound of the voice. Sirius turned around looking over his shoulder at the person who just dragged them out of the moment. Remus couldn’t see Sirius face when he took in the guy in front of them. But he could see the expression of the person who interrupted them. The guy was smiling a cocky smile, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed. It was a look full of judgment and entitlement that probably would have been unappealing on most people but on this guy it kind of suited him. He was, to Remus’ despair, very good looking. He had an aristocratic look about him. Tall and broad in a white shirt and black suit pants. The sleeves of his shirt were folded up and dark patterns of tattoos were all over his underarms and disappearing up under the white fabric. His hair was blond to the point of almost being as white as his shirt, and he wore it collected in a bun on the back of his head.

Remus could see the contours of his muscles under his shirt move as he walked forward and stood in front of them. The light from the windows hit his handsome face and made his icy blue eyes twinkle. Remus felt instantly intimidated. This guy was maybe a few inches shorter than him but his whole presence and broadness exuded confidence and ease in a way that made Remus feel minuscule sitting there on the bench. Remus involuntarily flinched when Sirius suddenly stood up from the bench and faced the person in front of them.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius asked, his voice harsh but shaky.

They guy smirked at him and, unhesitating, reached out a hand to caress Sirius cheek in a tender movement. Sirius flinched away from the touch, but the guy didn’t seem bothered.

“I wanted to see you babe,” He said with a deep voice filled with sweetness. Remus stomach flipped and he felt like he wanted to throw up. He made an uncomfortable movement on the bench and the guy turned his head and sneered down at him.

“But I see that you already have company. Sirius sweetheart, aren’t you going to introduce me to your… friend?”

He looked at Remus with such venom and distaste that Remus wanted to disappear. Whatever this was and whoever this was Remus didn’t want to be in this situation. A moment ago, he had been filled to the brim with happiness and anticipation. Now he felt like he was falling down a dark hole.

Sirius turned his head quickly and looked down at Remus with a desperate expression. He opened his mouth to answer but it didn’t seem like he could get any words out.

The guy chuckled. “No? Ok I’ll do it myself then.”

He extended his hand to Remus for a handshake. “Hi, I’m Lucius, Sirius boyfriend. And you are?”

Remus was stunned. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. Boyfriend? That was not possible. Sirius would have told him, he wouldn’t have kept that a secret. Remus ignored Lucius hand and looked down at his own. He missed the feeling of Sirius hands on them. He blinked hard. Fuck, this was not how this was supposed to go. He felt the unmistakable feeling of his own mortification tingling through his whole body. What the fuck had he been thinking. Of course, Sirius had a boyfriend. Of course, Sirius had a boyfriend that looked like that. Of course, Remus had only been… been what? What was he to Sirius. Remus didn’t get it. Why had he made him believe that he was available? His thoughts were cut of by Sirius furious voice.

“Fuck you Lucius, the fuck you are! You have no fucking right. Do not speak to him!”

Lucius took a step back and laughed with hands held up his in mock surrender. “Oh no? I have no right? Well, I have been seeming to have every right to do whatever I want with you the last few months so that’s new.”

Then he stilled and his mocking glare exchanged to a hard squint. “I didn’t realize that you would get into charity work when I was away Sirius. If I had then I would have come back and visited sooner.”

Remus couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up hurriedly and walked in between them both towards the door.

“Remus, please.” Sirius tone was desperate. “It’s not what you think it’s –,”

Remus didn’t stay to hear what it was. He bolted through the door and entered the pub. He heard the door slam shut behind him, but he didn’t runt to see if Sirius followed.

He needed to get out of there. His pulse was raising, and he felt the pulses of anxiety gripping at him with its long claws. He stumbled thought the pub towards the door. He looked around for Lily by their table but only Mary, Marlene and Peter were there. They were talking and smiling and seemed to have the best time. Remus gazed over the crowd to find her and was stilled in his steps when he finally did.

There, leaning against the counter of the bar she was with her tongue deep into the mouth of James. They were in a full snogging frenzy. James had his hands on each side of Lilys face and she had a firm grip on the back of his head, running her fingers through is now extremely messy hair. Remus blinked and stood still for a second staring at them. They were fully going to town on each other, like there was no air in the pub and that their mouths were their only source of oxygen. Damn, he thought to himself. Well fucking good for them. He didn’t have the emotional capacity right then to feel as overjoyed as he should that his best friend finally seemed to have gotten somewhere with the guy she had been harboring a crush on for a long time. But the view of them got him to step out of some of the anxiety fueled haze that he had just been in.

He looked back towards the backdoor. Sirius hadn’t come after him. Him and that Lucius were still out there doing god knows what. Remus didn’t want to think about it. He turned around and with determined steps walked out from the pub and out into the heavy rain. The cool air and ongoing fall of the rain helped him to relax a bit more. He started walking while focusing on his breathing.

23.59

Remus flat was silent. The only sound disturbing the peaceful quiet were the sounds of his clothes dripping on the tile floor of his hallway. As fast as he could he stripped out of his wet clothes, pushed them into a pile and then walked fully naked to the bathroom. He wasn’t sure how long he showered but when the water finally turned from hot to lukewarm, he turned it off and walked out. He dried himself up, put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a matching large hoodie from his bedroom and then slumped down on the sofa and sighed.

This sucked. His anxiety had dwindled down to just a small ball in his chest. It was uncomfortable but manageable. But he could seem to stop his thoughts that were bouncing around in his brain like there was some kind of ping pong match going on up there. What had happened? He tried for the hundred time to play through the short interaction they had on the patio with that Lucius guy.

“Hi there babe.”

Babe. Remus didn’t want that to hurt. It was a stupid thing Sirius usually called him. Sirius had clearly said it as a joke to rile him up in the beginning. But Remus had thought that over time in their conversations that the endearing names like babe were said with some real affection from Sirius. Apparently, that was also Lucius pet name for Sirius though.

“Hi, I’m Lucius, Sirius boyfriend.”

Boyfriend? This part was the most confusing of the whole thing. Remus couldn’t say that he knew Sirius fully. They hadn’t even talked for two weeks yet and even shorter in a serious way. He didn’t know hardly anything about him, his upbringing and what made him who he was. But still Remus really felt that he had gotten a clear picture of Sirius character. It didn’t make any sense that Sirius, with his open and honest ways, would be so cunning that he would be able to shamelessly flirt and lead Remus on if he was in a monogamous relationship with that prick at the same time. It just didn’t align properly. Remus tried to figure out the options that could make sense. Maybe they were in a polyamorous relationship? Maybe Sirius hadn’t mentioned it because, maybe, sex and relationship was so casual for him that he didn’t think he would be obliged to?
Or maybe Sirius had had the same flirty conversations with this Lucius. But maybe Lucius had thought that they were exclusive? And Sirius, being his eccentric self, hadn’t noticed that it had gone that far?
Maybe Lucius was simply lying? It wouldn’t surprise Remus if more than one person had become obsessed with Sirius over the years. His magnetizing personality and breathtaking beauty was easy to latch on to. Maybe Lucius just wanted to be with Sirius, but Sirius had turned him down?

Remus slumped down more in the sofa with an exasperated sigh. This was making his head hurt. He should go to bed and try to sleep it off if he didn’t want to have both an emotional and alcohol induced hangover tomorrow. He was just about to get up and go to bed when he heard a loud knock at the door. Remus froze and stared at the door on the other side of the room. It was late and no one should be knocking on his door this hour. Maybe it was Lily? She must have been worried when she finally stopped her snogging session and realized that Remus had left without saying anything. He should have texted her, but the battery of his phone had died on the way home and he had forgotten it in his jeans that now laid together with the rest of his wet clothes in a pile by the door.

He stood up and walked over to the door. He opened it quickly with an apology ready on his tongue. But to his surprise it wasn’t Lily standing before him. It was Sirius.

He was drenched by the rain and looked positively freezing. He was shaking and had his arms wrapped around himself. His leatherjacket was dripping on the floor and his hair was plastered to his face, neck and shoulders. Remus stared at him and took in his face. Sirius looked miserable. He had a expression of pure sadness and worry. His skin was even paler then usual exect for the tip of his nose that was slightly red. Raindrops were clinging to his skin and some of his eyeliner had had been smeared out under his eyes. Still, he was the most beautiful person that Remus had ever seen, and his heart hurt by the look of him.

“What –,” Remus started to speak but Sirius cut him off.

“Remus I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I'm sorry! I had no idea that he would show up and act that way. He is not my boyfriend. Not anymore. I promise this is not – he is not what he tried to make it seem like he was. He’s a fucking arsehole and I fucking hate him. He shouldn’t have talked to you that way. I shouldn’t have let him. I’m sorry, please just let me explain?”

He took a breath and watched Remus with such desperation in his eyes.

“I… eh … you’re at my apartment?” Was all that Remus could get out.

Sirius scoffed. “Yeah, fuck I’m sorry okay. I shouldn’t be but you didn’t answer your phone and I just couldn’t stand it. You have to know that I wouldn’t treat you like that. I had to explain, so I looked up your address again. I’m sorry okay, I know that it's intrusive and crazy and fucking stalker behavior, but I had to!” He panted as he hurriedly said the words.

Remus tried to collect his thoughts. Sirius was there, in his home. And even though he had a million questions, that wasn’t what was most important. Sirius was clearly freezing.

“Right,” he said. “Uhm, come in please. I’ll get you a towel.”

Remus gestured for Sirius to come in and then he walked to his bathroom to get him a towel. When he came back Sirius had entered and closed the door behind him, but he was still standing there in his dripping jacket in the hallway looking like a miserable drenched dog.
Remus handed him the towel and Sirius looked at him thankfully and started to dry his face and hair.

“You, eh… you want some tea or something?” Remus was unsure what to do in this situation, but he felt like priority one should be to get Sirius warmer. He knew how cold and wet he had been after the walk home in the rain so he figured that Sirius must be very uncomfortable physically right now.

“And,” he continued, “do you want to borrow some dry clothes?”

Sirius looked up surprised from under the towel that he had been rubbing in his face.

“Eh… yeah, sure if that’s okay? Tea would be great and maybe just a new shirt or something.” He opened his leatherjacket and looked down at himself. His wet white t-shirt was sticking to his body like it was a second skin. Remus felt his cheeks flush and he had to look away.

“No worries,” he mumbled as he walked over to the kitchen to put on the kettle. Then he went to his bedroom and rifled through his wardrobe for anything that would make Sirius warm. He settled on a green sweatshirt with his high school’s logo on it that he hadn’t wore in years and a pair of black sweatpants that he knew were a bit too small for him. Then he walked out again to Sirius that by now had taken off his jacket and shoes and were padding the towel all over his soaked jeans. Remus purposely looked away as he handed Sirius the clothes and gestured him towards the bathroom. He couldn’t look at Sirius body in that wet t-shirt without feeling like an ogling creep.

While Sirius was in the bathroom Remus fixed their tea and by the time he was done he heard the bathroom door click and Sirius coming out. Both garments looked too big for him and he had folded the bottom of his pants and sleeves up. His hair was now collected in a messy bun and he had washed away the smudged eyeliner around his eyes. He looked at Remus with rosy cheeks and a nervous look in his eyes. He was so fucking beautiful. Remus felt his head swim and his thoughts cloud when he looked at him. Fuck this was going to be painful.
Remus grabbed one of the teacups and reached it over to Sirius who walked over and took it from his hands.

“Erm,” Remus cleared his throat. “Milk, sugar, honey?”

“Some honey if you got any, thanks,” Sirius said in a quiet voice.

Remus nodded, took his own cup and turned around to the cupboard grabbing a jar of honey and a spoon. He gestured to the sofa with his head as he walked over there with his hands full. Remus sat down and Sirius joined him on the other side of the sofa. He reached for the honey and stirred a spoonful down into his cup. He smiled weakly towards Remus.

“Thank you.”

Remus didn’t say anything. He stirred his own tea and waited for Sirius to talk.

“I’m really, really sorry Remus. I want to explain but I just need you to know that I really am so sorry. We had such a good night, it was so great and I hate that it got ruined.”

Remus looked at him and nodded before looking away again.

Sirius took a deep breath. “Do you remember when I talked about that ex of mine that I had a toxic relationship with?”

Remus eyes widened. He remembered; Sirius had mentioned that he had been very in love before but that it was a unhealthy relationship.

“Well, that was him. Lucius fucking Malfoy. We were together years ago. I was eighteen and had just left home. I got my first job as a sound mechanic at a club that he owned. He started to flirt with me and I was completely obsessed. I had never been with a guy, and he was all suave and rich and powerful and shit. My stupid eighteen-old brain thought that I was the luckiest guy in the world for him to give me any attention. I thought it was love.”

Sirius tone was bitter as he spoke, and he looked down in his teacup.

“But he just used me when he wanted to. Somedays he introduced me to people as his boyfriend and other days I was just ‘that sound kid’. He paraded other guys and girls in front of me. Almost every night that the club was open he hooked up with someone in front of me and then he came to me late in the night or the morning after. He always made me think that it was my fault and that his behavior was normal and that he loved me. Then when he got a job opportunity to start a new club in another city he fired me, dumped me and moved away.”

Remus could see the pain in Sirius face and his heart ached for him.

“I was completely heartbroken. I thought that it was my fault, and I hated myself. It took me about six months to even begin to see what it really was. James and Peter forced me to start going to therapy and it helped me to realize how fucking toxic it all had been. He used me, gaslighted me and then tossed me away. When I realized that, it was like I could breathe again and go back to be myself. I swore that I would never let someone do that to me again, to make me feel so small. I guess I kind of overcompensated because since that I have really made it my agenda to be whatever I want to be and not care what anyone thinks about that.”

He looked up from his teacup towards Remus with fierce eyes. “He was my worst mistake, but the experience made me love myself and I am so happy that I went through that because of what I gained on the other side.”

Remus furrowed his brows, Sirius almost sounded grateful to the fucking bastard. Remus felt anger rippling in his chest. He shouldn’t be fucking grateful to a manipulative, useless shit like that Lucius.

Before he could say anything, Sirius continued.

“But so, now comes the part of the story that I need you to forgive me for. Trust me I know it is fucking stupid but I want to explain okay?”

Remus swallowed his angry words and nodded for Sirius to continue.

Sirius dropped his gaze and took a sip of tea from cup before he continued.

“Around a year ago he reached out to me again. He texted me that he was in town and asked if I wanted to meet up. I didn’t answer and blocked him immediately. But then about a month later I was out with the guys, and he was there. He asked to talk to me, and I was drunk and guess I felt curious, so we talked. He begged me for forgiveness and I told him to go fuck himself and that was that. But then in the beginning of this summer I stumbled into him again and this time I lost my willpower. I was feeling vulnerable and felt like it wouldn’t do any harm. I knew that I wouldn’t get feelings for him again. He broke me and I am fully aware of what a fucking scum he is. But it felt nice to hold the power and to be the one who could decide the limits instead of him. So, we hooked up and then he left again and I really didn’t care. It was just cathartic sex. I felt so fucking great because he didn’t have any power over me anymore. Then he started to text me regularly. He had changed his number and this time I didn’t block him cause I kind of liked that he was the one who couldn’t let go. His dad is sick so he comes to town pretty regularly and every time he would text me and ask if I wanted to meet up. And sometimes I said yes and sometimes I said no. But around a month ago I decided that I didn’t want to do it anymore. The sex was never that great and now that I don’t have any feelings for him it just felt like a waste of time. I figured that it was a good time to stop so I texted him that I didn’t want him to contact me anymore. He didn’t answer and I haven’t talked to him since. Not since this night. He said that he saw me when I walked out to you and James and so he waited a bit but then when he saw that we almost – you know – he walked out and started to act like the biggest shithead on earth.”

Remus didn’t know what to say. Sirius took another sip from his cup and lifted his eyes towards Remus waiting for him to say something.

“I –” Remus tried to collect his thoughts. He felt a wild mix of feelings. He was angry at the fucking vermin of a human that Lucius was who could be able to use and break someone as warm and loving as Sirius. He was also a little bit pissed at Sirius. The total idiocy of starting to regularly shag his past abuser was baffling. No matter if he was emotionally clear of him, it still was just such a fucking bad idea. Remus knew that he shouldn’t judge Sirius, he was only human and it was probably natural to want to take back the power in a situation like this. But still it irritated him that Sirius would be so careless with his own wellbeing.

Remus was also incredibly happy. The last hours had been a shitload of messy feelings and Remus felt elated to realize that none of the options he had thought about before were the real reason for tonight’s mishap. Sirius wasn’t in love with that blonde giant wanker. He didn’t even have a causal relationship with him anymore. And the best part was that he cared enough of what Remus thought about it that he literally had been running to him in the rain, looked up his address and knocked on his door despite of it being a bit intrusive. And now he was here, sipping tea on Remus’ sofa, smelling like a fucking dream and beautiful as ever.

Sirius looked at Remus with a concerned expression.

“Do you – do you want me to leave?” He asked sadly.

“No” Remus said quickly. “No sorry, I'm just trying to figure out what to say.”

Sirius gave him a melancholic smile.

Remus sighed. “Look, I just gotta say that I don’t think that you owe me anything.”

Sirius looked at him surprised.

“Yes, it was pretty shit tonight, and he was a royal prick. More than a prick, he should be fucking castrated for using you like that. A motherfucking shithead waste of space he is.”

Sirius chuckled quietly and Remus gave him a small smile.

“But we haven’t like – we aren’t –” Remus swallowed and tried to find the right words. “You weren’t obligated to explain all this to me because I have no right to assume that I’m the only one you are flirting with. I know that.”

Sirius eyebrows frowned but he stayed quiet.

“I’m very grateful that you told me though. Honestly, I couldn’t wrap my head around it all. I never thought that you had done anything with intentional malice. I knew you hadn’t, but I couldn’t figure out what happened, so thank you. But also fuck, do you know what a fucking dumb idea it is to have any kind of relationship with a person who have done something like that to you? Yes, you say you are stronger now and don’t have feelings for him but fuck, you can’t play around with trauma like that. It is fucking idiotic.”

Sirius blushed and looked down.

Remus instinctively stretched out to grab Sirius’ hand. He flinched and Remus turned his hand over and began to stroke patterns into his palm while he spoke.

“Sorry, I don’t want to be harsh. I’m just so pissed at that fucking arsehole for using you like that. And I care about you so it makes me kind of mental to think that you would treat yourself so low that you would let him have any piece of you."

Sirius looked at their hands and smiled.

“You care about me?”

Remus flushed “Well, yeah obviously.”

Sirius looked up at him with the first genuine smile Remus had seen on him since he arrived.

“I promise you, I will never talk with him again. I truly have no fucking interest to. I told him that tonight when you had left. I only stayed for like a minute but then when I went to look for you, you were gone.”

“Yeah I'm sorry, I felt like I was going to have a anxiety attack so I just had to leave,” Remus said. “And my phone died, and I didn’t think about charging it."

Sirius looked shameful again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I could calm down before it got too bad. I’m good now.”

Sirius smiled cautiously. “And are – are we good?”

Remus stopped drawing patterns in Sirius hand and instead intertwined their fingers.

“Yeah, yeah we are okay.”

Sirius beamed at him but then then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, the texts. Eh, well sorry in beforehand. I might have been a bit intense when I tried to get a hold of you.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow. “You? Intense?”

Sirius laughed, “Oh, fuck you dearest.”

Remus chuckled quietly.

The stayed like that for a while, fingers intertwined and huddled up on the couch. Remus felt much more aware of Sirius proximity now that they had talked it out and there was a quiet pause. Sirius sat crossed leg on the couch facing him, one of his knees gently bumping Remus hip. He no longer looked cold and shivering, but the complete opposite. His cheeks had a subtle pink shade to them and the combination of that color with his pale skin, black hair and silver-grey eyes make him look like a fucking painting. Like a masterpiece. Remus could feel the buzzing of electricity in the air again. Like it was caressing his skin and blurring the edges of his vision. There was a slight change in Sirius eyes, he looked at Remus intensely like he had a question on his lips that he didn’t dare to ask. Both of them were leaning their heads forward now. Remus could feel Sirius warm breath on his face, he swallowed.

“Remus…” Sirius breathed and blinked. His eyes flickered between Remus’ eyes and lips.

Remus leaned in a little closer.

“Remus?” Sirius said quietly again.

“Mmhm?” Remus hummed and felt his nose grazing Sirius’.

“You – you haven’t touched your tea.” Sirius whispered with a soft smile.

Remus breathed out and swallowed.

“I don’t want any fucking tea,” He said firmly and gently grazed his lower lip against Sirius mouth.

Sirius gasped the moment before their lips crashed fully together.

Remus mind went blank. Sirius lips were warm and soft and delicious. He pressed his mouth against them and felt a tingle run through his whole body, through his stomach down his thighs. Sirius leaned in more and massaged his lips against Remus’, letting out a small moan. Sirius opened his mouth slightly and Remus could feel the tip of his tongue sliding against his lips. Remus growled and parted his lips to join his tongue with Sirius. Sirius tasted sweet with a hint of whiskey and mint. It was intoxicating and Remus couldn’t think of anything that would taste better than this.

He felt himself lunging his body over Sirius and pinning him down on the cushions under him. He lodged one leg between Sirius thighs, one hand on his hip and with the other hand he gripped the back of Sirius head to push them even closer together. Sirius whimpered slightly under Remus and arched his back while pushing his tongue even more into his mouth. Remus felt like there was a fire in his chest. Sirius was warm and his hair was soft tangled in between Remus fingers. When Remus lifted his mouth from Sirius lips to catch some air, he started to kiss a trail of hard kisses over Sirius jaw and down his neck.

“Fuck, babe,” Sirius gasped quietly.

Remus stopped and looked up at him. Sirius eyes widen and he looked scared.

“Remus, shit I’m sorry. I know he called me that, but that’s not –,”

Remus smiled down at him and made a small shake with his head. He lifted his grip from Sirius’ neck and instead caressed his cheek softly with his thumb.

“Maybe you shouldn’t call me babe anymore,” He said warmly. The name had never been his favorite and after hearing the fucking wanker Malfoy say it that night it felt ruined.

Sirius smiled and leaned into Remus caressing hand on the side of his face. “Yeah, maybe not that. Maybe I should just call you… Moony?”

“You are the fucking worst,” Remus growled as he plunged back to Sirius lips.

He could feel Sirius smiling as he kissed him back eagerly. He felt how Sirius hands dipped under the hem of his hoodie, spreading his fingers against the bare skin of his lower back. He pushed Remus’ body harder against himself until their chests were pressed tightly together.

Remus pressed his hip down against Sirius and Sirius gasped against his mouth as he bucked his hips forward. Remus groaned loudly from the increased friction between them and he deepened the kiss. Sirius mouth was otherworldly. The taste and feel of his tongue and soft lips was like a drug that Remus never knew he needed. But now that he had a taste it would surely make him an addict.

Sirius hands was desperately exploring Remus back under his hoodie. Caressing it and scratching his nails against his skin in a way that gave Remus shivers of pleasure through his body. It all was fucking amazing, but a voice in Remus head was telling him that this was going very fast. They were going down a path that he was both desperate to experience, but also hesitant to let go of so soon. He still felt a bit tipsy, and he didn’t know the level of Sirius intoxication. He didn’t want them to go too far, this was not the time. He was just about to muster up the willpower to stop when he felt a vibration against his thigh and heard the signal of a phone ringing.

They stilled and parted lips, looking at each other.

Sirius removed one of his hands from Remus back and slid it down his hip and toward the pocket of his borrowed sweatpants. Remus groaned when Sirius hand came dangerously close to his crotch while he retrieved the phone from his pocket. Sirius gave him a knowing smirk before lifting the phone to his ear and answering.

“I’m busy,” He said, eyes not leaving Remus’.

Remus stared at him. Like this under him with flushed cheeks, glowing eyes and swollen wet lips Sirius was probably the prettiest he’d ever seen him. Remus couldn’t help but smile widely. Sirius smiled shyly back to him as he listened to whoever was on the other line of the phone.

“Really!?” His eyes did widen a bit to whatever the person had said. “You did? Fucking hell, Jamsie that’s great.” His fingers were absentmindedly caressing Remus lower back.

Remus smirked and lowered his lips to Sirius neck again, kissing it gently. Sirius breath hitched under him, and Remus could feel his chest expanding.

“Uhm… maybe you can tell me later, yeah?” Sirius answered James on the phone. The tone of his voice had raised a few octaves.

Remus smiled against his skin and then very lightly dragged his teeth against the sensitive skin under Sirius ear.

Sirius moaned loudly and his hips bucked against Remus’.

Remus chuckled and opened his mouth to gently splay his tongue against the area.

“Fucking hell,” Sirius gasped. “Fuck, James I have to hang up now okay!” His tone was high pitched and urgent.

Remus began to trail kisses towards his collarbone, and he stared to rub Sirius hip with his thumb in slow circular motions.

“You what?”

Remus lifted his head and looked at Sirius when he heard his tone change. He looked annoyed. He closed his eyes and sighed before opening them again.

“Fuck. Okay, yeah I'll be there soon mate.”

Remus raised one eyebrow in a question. Sirius shook his head in a small motion.

“No, it’s okay James, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there soon love.”

Sirius canceled the phone call and sighed heavily.

“So, good news and bad news,” He said while brushing a finger along Remus jaw. “James and Lily made out and talked and he’s seeing her tomorrow and he’s fucking ecstatic.”

“Mhm, yeah I saw them snogging at the bar,” Remus hummed quietly and leaned his head against Sirius touch.

“Oh, you did?” Sirius raised a eyebrow. “And you didn’t tell me!”

“I had other things on my mind,” Remus smirked and turned his head to kiss Sirius fingers gently. Sirius shivered and made a desperate small sound.

“Well –,” Sirius, cleared his throat. “The bad news is that he’s outside our apartment building, in the rain, and he forgot his key.”

Remus stopped his motion and looked Sirius in the eyes. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So, I have to go and save him.”

Remus dropped his head down and rested it in Sirius neck.

“If it is any consolation, I rather be eaten alive by rats than move right now.” Sirius said bitterly.

Remus laughed softly against his neck. “Yeah, but you owe him.”

He felt Sirius nodding slightly.

Remus sighed and shifted away from him. He sat himself back up at the other side of the sofa.

Sirius laid still for a moment before he did the same.

Remus stared straight-ahead as he tried his best to get his pulse to go down. Sweatpants was not a great choice of attire for this situation. Sirius seemed to feel the same because they sat there for a long time just staring forward, keeping their eyes and bodies away from each other.

After a while Sirius stood up and scratched his head while looking down at himself.

“Is there any chance that I can borrow these clothes? The thought of putting on my wet jeans right now is kind of horrifying.”

Remus cleared his throat. “Of course.” He stood up and walked over to his coatrack and grabbed his raincoat. “Take this as well. Lily has my umbrella, but this will help a bit at least.” He handed it over to Sirius and got a thankful smile in return.

Sirius put it on and spread his arms wide as he did a little playful twirl. “How do I look?”

Remus chuckled. Sirius was drowning in the size of his clothes, but he looked fucking adorable.

“Very cute,” Remus said and felt his blush creeping up his neck and face again.

Sirius beamed and stepped closer to him. He grabbed Remus face in both his hands softly and caressed his reddening cheeks tenderly before he pulled him down towards his lips and gave him a soft kiss. Remus heart fluttered.

“You truly are something else,” Sirius whispered. “Moony”.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius in a hug.

“Moony is not happening you fucking prat,” He said tenderly and nuzzled his face in Sirius neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

He felt Sirius chuckling against his body.

Remus let him go and Sirius grabbed his pile of wet clothes from the floor and opened the door.

“Okay, well goodnight. Will we talk tomorrow?” Sirius asked shyly.

Remus couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “Yeah, of course we will you dimwit. Go now and save your friend.”

Sirius smirked, “Alright, bye Moony.” He said with a wink and walked out the door.

Remus shut the door after him with a goofy grin on his lips. He put their teacups in the sink, hung up his wet clothes for them to dry, brushed his teeth and put his phone in the charger next to his bed.

He crawled down under the sheets and waited for it to charge up a few minutes. Then he turned it on and it buzzed with his missed messages from Sirius and Lily. He opened his conversation with Lily first.

(23.53) Remus where did you go. Peter says that he saw you leave?

(23.55) Are you ok? Did you go with Sirius? He isn’t here either.

(00.05) I’ll assume that you two are off shagging somewhere. Please text me when you see this though. Have fun love <3

Remus typed a response quickly to Lily.

(01.26) I am at home and I’m ok. I’ll tell you all tomorrow ok. Call me as soon as you wake up. Love you!

(01.26) … Saw you eating James’ face. HELL YEAH! <3

He smiled and then checked what he got from Sirius. There were three missed calls shortly after he had left the pub. And then there were messages.

(23.45) Remus! Fuck! I’m sorry, it’s not what you think. Please answer and I can explain!

(23.45) He’s NOT my boyfriend.

(23.47) Fuck, I shouldn’t have let you leave. Remus, please call me back. I promise don’t have a fucking boyfriend.

(23.50) I get that you’re upset but just let me explain. Please!

(23.58) I like you so much. Like very much. Very, very much, okay? Can I come over and we can talk?

(00.11) It’s fucking raining and I’m cold but I don’t want to go home so please just answer.

(00.13) I’m coming over. Please answer me now if you don’t want me to.

(00.25) Fucking shit, I can’t fucking find your building. Bloody motherfucking rain can go fuck itself. Why do you live in a fucking maze for fucks sake!!!

(00.27) Excuse my language the previous message…I found your building now.

(00.32) Okay, last chance to answer me and telling me to fuck off ok?

(00.34) I really hope that you want to listen to me. I’m so fucking into you Remus. Like pathetically so. You probably think that I’m some fucking lunatic stalker but I’m not. You are just special okay. I don’t want this to end before it began.

(00.37) Okay, I’m here. I’m going to knock on your door now. Fingers crossed that you don’t hate me. See you on the other side Moony.

Chapter Text

Remus is regular text

Sirius is bold text

Lily is in italic text

James is underlined text

Regulus is italic underlined text

Saturday Sept 8

(08.59) ----- Lily calling -----

“Lily.”

“Remus.”

“Lily!”

“Remus!!!”

“Dear lord. Okay you just go first. Tell me everything please.”

“Ha ha, alright.”

“But first. Are you okay Remus?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m very good.”

“Okay, good. Well, so where do I start?”

“Well maybe you could start with telling me how James’ tonsils taste? Looked like you tried to figure that out yesterday…”

“Oh, shut up.”

“For your information, they taste motherfucking awesome.”

“Damn that boy can snog, holy shit.”

“Hah, I am very happy for you love.”

“So, everything worked out then? When I talked to him he was pretty distraught, but he finally dared to talk to you?”

“Hah, yeah sort of. He came back in and I saw that he stood by the bar drinking water like he had been stranded in the fucking desert or something.”

“So, I got up and joined him. Felt so sorry for the poor angel.”

“And when he saw me, he just started to blurt out things. It was fucking adorable. He said that he was sorry and that he likes me and that he thinks I am wonderful. And then he started to babble something about muffin trays and café fire hazards, but I sort of cut him off and kissed him.”

“Lily, you fucking queen you!”

“Ha ha, yeah well, he’s just so fucking cute and when he said that he likes me I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“And he kissed me back and goddamnit Remus. He is…that was…like wooah.”

“That good huh?”

“Eh yeah…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“… Lily you still there?”

“Mmm, yes… just got lost in the memory there for a moment.”

“Ha ha, get it together woman. You were telling me the story.”

“Right yes, sorry.”

“Well, when we stopped kissing it was like we finally could talk to each other like normal people. It was great, we just kept talking all night and he is so wonderful.”

“Aw, Lils I’m so happy for you!”

“Me too Remus. Me fucking too. We decided that we would meet up today. I feel so damn giddy and exited. I can’t believe that he likes me.”

“Well, believe it. We talked a bit and yeah, trust me… he likes you.”

“Thank you for that Remus. For going out and talking to him. I don’t know that you told him but it seemed like it did the trick.”

“My absolute pleasure love. I think he just needed some fresh air to get it together.”

“Yeah, well whatever it was it was great so thank you.”

“But now I am dying to know. What in the actual fuck happened to you and Sirius? Because he joined you outside and the next moment both you and him are gone and not answering anyone. Did you go off and shag in some dark corner?”

“Eh, no sadly not really. It was pretty messy actually. His ex showed up.”

“What? His ex?”

“Yeah and he was a nasty shit. He came out and started to talk about how Sirius was his boyfriend and that I was just some charity case.”

“The fuck!?”

“Yeah, but he was lying. I wasn’t sure then though, so I started to panic and just ran out of there.”

“Remus love. Fuck, I had no idea. You should have found me!”

“Yeah, I know. But I calmed down when I left. It didn’t get that bad so don’t worry, okay?”

“Mmm, ok if you say so. But what happened to Sirius, did he follow you? Because he was gone too, and both Peter and James tried to call him but he didn’t answer?”

“Yeah, he followed me. He actually showed up at my place a while after I came home.”

“Woah, he did?”

“Yeah, and he explained it all. The guy was his douchebag ex. They ended it a while ago but I guess he saw us and got jealous or something.”

“Fucking arsehole.”

“Yes, very much so.”

“But Sirius explained everything and then, well we…”

“Eh…yes…?”

“Hrm… made out on the sofa. It was fucking glorious.”

“Remus! Fuck, yeah you did!”

“Hah, yeah.”

“So, did you just snog or…?"

“Mm, yeah just snogging. Your lover actually called in the middle of it and Sirius had to leave to rescue him from the rain.”

“Nah, come on James!”

“No, but it was good. I didn’t want it to go any further. Or I mean… I totally wanted it to go further, but I felt like we should stop since we both were being a bit tipsy and stuff.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“But so…was it good?”

“It was fucking mind-blowing. I might need to convert to Siriusism now. He is just so –,“

“I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“It’s going to be so fucking devastating when it’s over. I know that I shouldn’t think like that but I can’t stop myself.”

“Remus love please don’t do that to yourself. You don’t know how it’s going to go, okay? There is literally zero point in worrying about it.”

“I know, I know.”

“I know you can’t stop yourself but please try to not self-sabotage this? You deserve to be happy and just to enjoy it!”

“And Sirius seems hooked. The way he looked at you all night… It was intense.”

“You think?”

“Yes, and Marlene and Mary agree. We talked about it some. He looks truly smitten with you.”

“I hope so.”

“Promise to not spiral too much?”

“Yeah, sure I'll try.”

“Good boy. Now let’s hang up. I have date to prepare for!”

“Hah, that's right. Good luck! Go and snog his brains out love.”

“Planning on it!”

----- Call ended -----

Saturday Sept 8

(09.29) I just have to tell you.

(09.29) You are never getting these clothes back.

(09.29) They are the comfiest I have ever worn. I want to be buried in these pants.

(09.30) Good morning to you too.

(09.30) And what? They are just regular sweatpants?

(09.30) They were made by God and my bum have never been happier okay.

(09.31) Sirius… have you never worn sweatpants before?

(09.31) … No.

(09.31) That is…weird. How is that even possible?

(09.32) Fashion first Moony dear. I didn’t grow up with the option of being comfortable and after moving out I just never tried it.

(09.32) Remarkable. Truly, I have never heard of such a thing.

(09.32) Well, then you absolutely can keep them. They suited you.

(09.33) Made me look cute 😉?

(09.33) Very.

(09.34) How are you today then? Except for comfortable for the first time in your life.

(09.34) I’m great. Didn’t get much sleep but I am not complaining.

(09.34) How much will you blush if I tell you that you are an fucking amazing kisser?

(09.34) It was… goddamn Remus. You are extremely hot.

(09.35) Uh, very much. But also, thanks.

(09.35) And you are too. I am very happy that you came over.

(09.35) Fuck that’s good. I know it was a bit…much.

(09.36) I like that you are a bit much Sirius.

(09.36) You don’t need to worry about it.

(09.36) Ok sweet cheeks, I’ll try not to <3.

(09.36) Speaking of last night though, I have been thinking about a thing that you said.

(09.36) Oh?

(09.37) Yeah, and I didn’t respond to it then, so I want to be very clear again. You said that I didn’t owe you an explanation because you don’t assume that you are the only one I’m flirting with. And I want to be clear and say that you are.

(09.38) The only one I’m flirting with I mean.

(09.38) I am a one man kind of guy. Monogamous like a swan.

(09.39) I won’t assume that you are the same way. And it’s totally early in this thing, I'm not asking you for any commitment really. But I think I need to know if you have another way of thinking just so I get invested and fuck up my own feelings.

(09.39) Sorry to be all Serious-Sirius…. I thought about it this morning and I just don’t want to repeat past mistakes where I assume things and then end up being heartbroken.

(09.39) Sirius

(09.40) Now I feel ridiculous. It’s not even ten in the morning! You must think that I am so obsessed and clingy and pathetic.

(09.40) Which is kind of true but fuck, I promise that I’m worth the hassle!

(09.41) Sirius!

(09.41) Not to build myself up but I am quite a catch actually! I have a steady job, I don’t have a drinking or drug problem and I have been told that I am fucking amazing in bed! Sure, I don’t live alone but that should only be seen as a bonus. It’s like a 2 for the price of 1 deal!

(09.42) Or I mean no, I don’t want you to date both James and me. That would be weird and defeat the whole monogamous swan thing. But me living with him is a good thing, I promise! That man can cook food like no other, you’ll have to try it!

(09.42) Sirius stop

(09.43) Or you don’t have to anything. But I’m telling you, his pasta sauce is life changing!

(09.43) It’s like nirvana in the form of sauce. I suspect that he puts some kind of drug in it because you’ll almost get high just by the smell!

(09.43) It's going to be his legacy. They will write songs about him and his sauce for centuries to come!

(09.43) SIRIUS would you shut the fuck up for like a second!!!

(09.44) Jesus, do you know how hard it is to get a word in with you even when you text!? You are adorable but please man, breathe a moment yeah?

(09.44) Fuck…ok sorry. I got carried away…

(09.44) It’s ok

(09.44) I am not flirting with or dating other people.

(09.44) Nor do I have any interest to okay?

(09.44) I think James is great and would love to try his pasta sauce.

(09.45) I truly don’t give a fuck if you have a steady job as long as you are happy. Honestly do you think we live in the fifties or something? What the fuck?

(09.45) And the amazing in bed well… I don’t doubt it. You are fucking sexy. But that is not why I am into you okay?

(09.45) No?

(09.45) No, you git. Is that why you are into me?

(09.45) No!

(09.46) Then. There we go.

(09.46) Ok…

(09.46) But so you would say that we are dating exclusively then?