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Chapter Text

"Come onnnnnn,"

Chuuya Nakahara groaned at the time on his phone. He only had ten minutes until his first class started and since it was the first day of his year at university he did not want to start it off by being that kid. That was not a great way to start off his university career, it was a terrible first impression. Unfortunately, he had agreed to wait for his friend, who was late. Tachihara was that kid. Even more unfortunately, the two have been friends ever since they were children so Chuuya was stuck with his fellow redhead.

Chuuya tapped his foot impatiently on the ground.

Another minute and he leaves.

He kept an eye out on passer-by's in hope he'd see Tachihara approach. Nothing. That useless- he took a deep breath, like his therapist told him. Chuuya would be having words with him when he arrived.

Despite what all his friends, his sister, his dads and his therapist all say Nakahara Chuuya does not have anger issues. He does not, sometimes he gets annoyed and sometimes he punches people, but they always deserve it!!

What did catch his attention was a tall brunette walking by while reading. How he managed to navigate his way through the corridor with his face buried in a book Chuuya had no idea. The brunette walked passed Chuuya and made his way up the stairs.

Chuuya shrugged, maybe he was busy with some kind of project over the summer. He knew the feeling of leaving it all the the last minute an rushing to get it done. Can’t say he’s ever done it on the way to class though.

Chuuya resumed searching around the hallways. Still no sign of Tachihara. When that idiot does appear Chuuya will give him a punch.

"Ah."

It was a quiet sound. If Chuuya didn't have such good hearing he would've missed it easily, especially in the busy hallway but when he turned to see where the noise came from he saw the brunette falling.

Without thinking Chuuya lunged, he reached out and used his body to shield the stranger from the floor.

They both went tumbling down. Judging from the others size Chuuya expected it to hurt more, but the other barely weighed anything. Like he was nothing but skin and bones, but bones that don’t weigh anything. Weightless bones, was that a thing?

"Hey! Are you alright!" Chuuya demanded as soon as he was thinking clearly.

"My book," the other mumbled. "Is my book alright?" He jumped off Chuuya and reached for the book. All the redhead could do was gape in astonishment.

Who falls down the stairs and their first priority is ensuring their book is okay? What the fuck?!

"Ah thank god, it's fine," Chuuya was still staring at the man still not believing his ears. Did the fall cause him to lose brain cells or was he always deficient in them. "Did you save me?"

He turned around and Chuuya saw his face.

Fuck. He was the prettiest person Chuuya had ever seen, a literal angel. With soft brown hair that curled around his cheeks and honey brown eyes with long lashes. He had a perfect nose and lips that were so kissable.

Now Chuuya was staring for another reason. He wondered how he would look under him-

Nope! Not going there!

"Thank you," he smiled at Chuuya and the redhead nearly went into cardiac arrest. "I need to be going then,"

He bowed again, completely oblivious to Chuuya’s mental distress, and then picked up a pair of round glasses Chuuya hadn't noticed before and made his way up the stairs again. This time paying attention to where he was stepping.

Chuuya was aware he was blushing (could he even call this blushing? He felt like his face was on fire. Was he about to engage in spontaneous human combustion???) but who could blame him. The brunette was gorgeous!

"Chuuya?" A voice called out. "Why are you on the floor?" Tachihara questioned glancing down at his friend confused.

"None of your business!" He snapped before jumping up. Tachihara was here, he’d been waiting for him to get to class. Right. Class. "And you! Where the hell have you been?"

"Eh... oh no we're going to be late..." Tachihara said before running off.

"Oi! Come back here!" Chuuya screamed chasing after his long time friend.

.....

After their first lecture Tachihara looked like he was ready to start crying. Chuuya patted his back sympathetically.

"Take physics they said," he mumbled into the table where he had face planted as soon as the lecture was over. "It will be fine they said, they clearly didn't take into account my lack of brain cells!"

"Well, they say the first step is acceptance, maybe now you'll actually study hard," Chuuya raised his eyebrows at his fellow ginger who seemed to deflate even more at that idea.

"Urghhhh! Stooooppppp!" Tachihara complained.

Chuuya snickered.

....

A few days since the start of university Chuuya had grown used to his classes, the campus and the obsessive thoughts of the brunette he can't seem to get out of his head.

Okay. Maybe he wasn't completely used to the thought but he'd get used to them. It's not like he'd seen the guy since the first day of school.

"I've never been to a library before," Tachihara grinned like it was a brag.

"Don't be proud of that imbecile," Akutagawa spat out. He then turned to Chuuya. "I'm surprised you haven't been yet, Chuuya,"

Ah. There was the classic Akutagawa Ryuunosuke judgementTM.

"I haven't had a chance yet, jeez," Chuuya rolled his eyes at his friend, quite frankly a little insulted he was being lumped in with Tachihara. "Besides not everyone is a literature student like you, we don't all live in libraries,"

"If you think I'm bad you should see some of the others in my course," this made Chuuya think of the brunette with his face in a book. "Speak of the devil, there's the absolute worst bookworm I've ever seen,"

"Huh?" Chuuya followed where Akutagawa was indicating to and then he saw him. (Cue the shoujo sparkles.)

He was reading peacefully in the corner of the room. Completely oblivious to his surroundings as though they didn't exist. Long eyelashes fluttering as he gazed intently down at his book. God. Chuuya wanted him to look at him like that.

He wanted him to look down at him as he told Chuuya he was doing such a good job and-

Seriously. That’s enough of that.

"Dazai-san is a real genius, it's only been a few days but everyone can tell. He doesn't talk to anyone and he's always reading," Akutagawa informed Chuuya.

"Dazai?" Chuuya repeated, liking the sound of it on his lips, now there was something else he wanted on his- seriously brain stop.

"Dazai Osamu," Akutagawa informed him.

"Oh! I know him," Tachihara said which surprised Chuuya. How did his idiot friend know some literary genius? "I heard some girls gossiping, apparently there's some kind of tie between who the hottest freshmen is,"

"And one of them is Dazai-san?" Akutagawa scoffed at the ridiculousness of such a ranking.

"Yup, and he's tied with Chuuya here,"

"Hah? Me?"

"Of course, have you seen a mirror," Tachihara nodded his head.

"Ridiculous, come on let's sit down," Akutagawa marched over to a spare table Chuuya and Tachihara following like lost puppies.

Chuuya didn't get much studying done that day though.

He spent most of his time staring at Dazai. Why was he so pretty?

Urgh. He hasn't even really spoken to the guy and he was already screwed!!

(Dazai noticed the pretty redhead who had saved him on the stairs last week staring and he found his cheeks heating up but he refused to look up from his book.)

Chapter Text

"What can I get you-" Chuuya had his best customer service smile on as he greeted the next customer at the coffee shop. When he saw who it was, however, he froze.

Dazai freaking Osamu.

The same guy Chuuya had been obsessing over since he caught him on the stairs last week. The same guy Chuuya spent a whole hour freaking out over when he saw him in the library. The same guy Chuya hasn't been about to stop thinking about since he first met him. The star of Chuuya's shower thoughts and wet dream-

It was Dazai Osamu okay.

They hadn't interacted since that day in the stairs but Chuuua would occasionally see him around and he was always reading. It was like he'd die if he didn't have his nose in a book.

He wasn't currently reading though. He was looking at the board which told him the coffees they sold, deep in thought. There was a book in his hand but he wasn't reading it. Was this his chance to talk to him?

But what did he say?

"Can I have a caramel mocha please, extra sugar," Dazai asked and Chuuya wanted to reply yes- yes you can have anything you want. I'll give you the world if you ask for it-

And then he remembered he was working and that he has a job to do.

He blinked. "Oh. Errrr that's 500¥..." he trailed off.

Dazai offered him a smile, paid and stood back to let the next person order and found his way to a small table in the corner where he immediately started to read.

It was a busy time so Chuuya didn't have time to obsess over Dazai right now. But it was damn hard to focus with him right there looking so perfect. Oh the things Chuuya would let him to do him-

Chuuya's coworker brought him his coffee so other than glancing at Dazai occasionally he didn't get to interact with him again.

Okay. Maybe it wasn't occasional glances. He may have spent every spare moment he had just staring at the brunette.

He enjoyed watching how his nose scrunched up every now and then as he read, or the corners of his mouth would quirk up into a small smile. How gracefully he sipped his ridiculously sweet coffee without his eyes leaving the page.

Crap. Chuuya was down bad for this guy and they'd only spoken twice.

.....

The next day Dazai came again.

This time it was quieter than the last time he visited so if Chuuya could turn his brain on and say something-

Too late. Dazai was already sitting down reading his book.

Damn. Another opportunity wasted.

At least he can stare at him all he wants-

It was motivation to get small jobs done quick so he can go back to staring at him. Dazai's face usually remained impassive while he read buy occasionally his lips would turn slightly upwards when he read something he liked, or his eyebrows would furrow in annoyance.

Not in a creepy way!

God he was starting to sound like a creep. He sounded like the type of person who would write this stuff down in a notebook and pant excitedly while watching him on a CCTV camera. Chuuya did not want to be that guy!!

He smacked his head down on the counter and groaned.

(Ignoring his coworker staring at him like he was crazy- maybe he was crazy-)

(Crazy i was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. The rats made me crazy. Crazy i was crazy once-)

Chuuya realised the way he repeated this in his mind did not help the crazy allegations but the internet had rotted his brain so bad to the point every time he heard the word 'crazy' that was the first thing he thought of.

Whatever, staring at Dazai will make him feel better.

......

"Would you like your regular?" Chuuya asked when Dazai appeared.

The other looked surprised for a moment before smiling softly. "Yes please,"

Chuuya had to restrain himself from swooning, or clutching his heart. He was dying, he was going into heart failure. This was it he can't go on.

It's been a week since Dazai started visiting the cafe and he orders the same drink everytime. A caramel mocha, extra caramel and sugar.

Dazai also has a regular table and other than the first day, he has a regular time he shows up. Chuuya had noticed that Dazai Osamu was a creature of habit. And he always had those goddamn books on him.

Chuuya has literally never seen him without one. Even if he's not reading. Sometimes he sits at his table and does school work but there's still a book beside him. Why? What was his obsession with books? Chuuya had to know!

Chuuya has honestly started to make sure Dazai's table is free around the time he shows up.

"I-" Chuuya opened his mouth to speak and then closed it quickly.

Crap. What did he say?? Why was his brain failing him now of all times. But it was so hard to think when a creature as gorgeous as Dazai was in front of him.

Luckily Dazai didn't hear him, too busy rummaging around in his bag to find the money to pay.

The brunette handed over the money and made his way over to his usual table and Chuuya sighed again.

One day he'd work up the courage to actually talk to him. For the record, Nakahara Chuuya was usually fearless, he's never had so much trouble talking to one guy. So what was it about Dazai that melted his brain so much??

It didn't help that just by looking at Dazai's face his cheeks immediately heat up and he was just a puddle of goo.

Urghhhhhhhhh!

......

Today something was different.

Well not something. Chuuya knew exactly what was different. Either side of the tall brunette was two people Chuuya had never seen before.

And instead of Dazai reading his book he was... talking with them??

He'd never actually seen Dazai engage in a conversation with another person. Of course, he still had a book next to him but it was sitting on the table untouched as he laughed at something the shorter male (but still taller than Chuuya) said.

The three sat down at Dazai's usual table but had to move another over to it so there was room for the three of them. And they were loud customers.

"Why can't we just sit somewhere else?" The other man asked. Chuuya was shamelessly listening in on their conversation.

"Because this is my table," Dazai replied as if it were that simple. And maybe it was to him.

"You know how particular Zai is," the girl with the butterfly hair clip smiled. The other guy who looked like a man child pouted but sat down anyway.

Zai? They had nicknames for each other? How close were they? Oh god, was he dating one of them? Was Dazai even into men? Fuck. Chuuya was so screwed!!

They had yet to order, instead choosing to sit down first.

"I'll order, Kiko you want black coffee and Zai wants caramel mocha, right?" The man child jumps up and bounced over to the counter ignoring how the other two called for him to come back.

"Hello there!" The man child smiled at Chuuya in a way that made Chuuya think he somehow knew all of his secrets. "So... Chuuya-" he read off his name tag. "You like Dazai right?"

Chuuya nearly had a heart attack right then and there.

"What?" He managed to choke out.

"It's fine if you do, Zai is a hot piece of ass," the man child waved him off with a shrug. "Anyway, Zai will have his usual, Akiko will have her coffee black, like her soul, and I'll have a hot chocolate, I don't like coffee no matter how sweetened it is, it's still too bitter for me, Zai agrees with me actually but he needs coffee to function," this guy did not stop talking. "So how much?"

"I'm sorry?"

What was going on right now?

"How much for the drinks, duh!"

"Oh-" he quickly entered it into the cashier. "It'll be-"

"Wait! You have cake! I'll have a slice of chocolate cake, wait no lemon cake- actually, I'll have both!"

"Errrr... right?" Chuuya added the cakes slices to the order. He told him the price and the other just stared at him blankly.

"Oh... Kiko! I forgot the money!" He turned and called to his friends who just face palmed as though they already knew something like this would happen.

The girl, Akiko, got up and made her way over.

"Sorry about Ranpo," she smiled at him sympathetically as though she knew how Chuuya had suffered the past few minutes talking with him. "He means well, I think,"

"It's alright," Chuuya told her. Though he wasn't really sure if it was.

Wait. Was Ranpo going to tell Dazai about his crush? If he did Dazai would probably never come by the coffee shop again and he would think he was a creep and-

Oh god!

As though reading his mind Ranpo just looked him in the eyes and said: "I'm not going to tell him, stop worrying so much,"

Akiko didn't even bother asking, apparently so used to Ranpo she didn't even question what he says.

So somehow Chuuya had talked more with Dazai's two friends than he had with the brunette. Wow, he was screwed.

The rest of the time Chuuya got to enjoy the view of Dazai chatting and laughing with his friends.

Actually seeing him talk with another person made Chuuya realise a few things about him and correct a few misunderstandings he had.

1. Dazai wasn't shy around people. He was actually very smug and outgoing with his friends.

2. Dazai looking smug was hot.

3. Dazai liked to tease people.

4. The three had clearly been friends for a long time since university had only started 3 weeks ago so they had to have known each other before then.

While Chuuya couldn't exactly hear everything they said he could make out pieces.

He was seriously whipped for a guy he had barely spoken too.

This was hard. Chuuya was used to guys approaching him! He didn't know how to approach someone else!

Chapter Text

Dazai was once again back at the coffee shop, without his friends today.

"Good afternoon," Dazai greeted him with a smile. Chuuya almost died but held his ground. Mostly.

"Afternoon," was all he could squeak out. Dazai didn't seem to mind just patiently waited for Chuuya to make his usual and paid.

Ah. That would've been the perfect opportunity to start a conversation, he wasted a good chance. Chuuya wanted to cry.

He served a few more customers, made some drinks, just doing his usual jobs on his shift and of course kept an eye on the love of his- on Dazai.

That was way to soon for someone's he'd never even had a conversation with.

"Excuse me," Chuuya snapped back to reality as a customer caught his attention. Their tone was a little rude but Chuuya had heard worse.

"Hi there, what's can I get you?" He asked, his best customer smile in place.

"Wow, so you're finally paying attention to your job, why do these shops always hire idiots like you," the customer complained. Chuuya clenched his fist but continued to smile.

"I apologise, sir, what would you like to order?" Chuuya tried to placate him. It did not work.

"Whatever, I would like a coffee," was all he said. Chuuya wanted to punch his stupid face in.

"What kind of coffee, sir?" He asked.

"I want coffee,"

"Yes, but what kind, latte, black coffee, white coffee, mocha, we have a menu," it was really hard to be polite to this bitch but Chuuya was handling it like a pro if he did say so himself, ignoring the slightly bitter tone his voice took at the end there.

"Do you want to serve me or not!" The man suddenly yelled.

"Excuse me...?" His words were so completely ridiculous Chuuya completely forgot his anger because who the fuck says something like that.

"Do you want to serve me coffee or not?"

Chuuya was stunned. Seriously, did this guy have a screw loose. He wasn’t intimidated or angry he was just dumbfounded that someone would actually say this.

If anything he was holding back laughter because what the fuck?

...

Someone was yelling.

Dazai's grip tightened on his book slightly. He was at a boring point of the novel so his attention wasn't completely taken by the words on the page and he could make out someone yelling somewhere in the real world.

Dazai hated the real world.

The person didn't stop yelling though so he sighed and looked up.

Some old man was yelling at Chuuya.

Dazai noticed Chuuya had a look on his face that he had never seen before, at first it seemed like disbelief and mild amusement, which made sense because who was this entitled asshole and what was he yelling? Then as he became more insulting Chuuya's face darkened and his arm was shaking slightly.

Oh dear. He was about to punch the guy. Hilarious.

Usually Dazai would just let it happen but Chuuya would lose his job and Dazai quite liked the way he made his coffee. Also there was the fact that Chuuya was rather pretty and kind and he would feel guilty if he could've prevented something bad happening to him and he didn't help.

Plus, he kinda owed him one for the staircase incident.

Ranpo and Akiko had laughed at him before telling him he was an idiot. Then they let Kunikida have him, he had to sit through an hour lecture of the danger of not paying attention to his surroundings. Ouch. It probably would've been longer if he'd been hurt so he really did owe Chuuya one.

He took a deep breath, choosing to ignore everyone else in the room, and made his way over to the counter. He clutched his book tightly in his hands. It would be okay, he convinced himself,

He hates the real world, it was always handy to have an escape on him for whenever he needed it.

"I think you've said quite enough," he said, his voice intentionally harsh. He noticed how the rude customer flinched at his voice but soon turned to him angry. Dazai's grip tightened on his book.

Chuuya gaped at him, in shock.

"If you're just here to yell at this poor employee then you should leave, you're disturbing the other customers and quite frankly polluting this lovely cafe with your hideous face," he mocked, he felt a little like his old self, feeling a little glee in the way his face twisted in anger and he stormed towards him, reaching out to grab at his shirt.

Dazai sidestepped out the way.

He smirked as the idiot stumbled. "Oh my, are alright, sir, maybe you should just go home if you can't keep yourself upright," he opened up the wallet he'd swiped during that moment and memorised the important details.

"What is wrong with you?" The man yelled again. Dazai leaned in close, so he could whisper this next part to him. He found this made it more threatening.

"I could ask you the same, Hashimura Ken-san," he slipped the wallet back into his pocket. "I'm sure your Boss at XX Company would love to hear about your conduct here today,"

"You- who are you?" He stared at him wide eyed. Dazai just smiled.

"Scram, or I call him up," he purposefully let his smile turn cold.

He didn't need to be told twice, headed to the door without a shred of dignity. Dazai watched him go feeling a sense of satisfaction. And then he noticed all the gazes on him.

He felt his confidence shatter and he was back to his current self again. His shattered, broken self, who was being held together by the love of his friends, family and books. He felt his arm begin to shake, all he wanted to do was run home and read.

"Thank you," Chuuya's voice broke him from his thoughts. Dazai smiled at him, he hoped it was easy going and didn't reveal his discomfort.

"I owed you one," he shrugged.

"Huh?" Chuuya blinked at him, he looked confused. It was pretty adorable.

"That day on the stairs," he reminded him, assuming he forgot. He thought it was a memorable experience, catching someone as they fall down the stairs doesn't seem like something you do everyday. If Chuuya forget it couldn’t be that memorable then, or maybe it was him that was forgettable. Ouch.

"Oh- right, sorry..." Chuuya trailed off awkwardly. Dazai got the feeling he made Chuuya uncomfortable, which made him feel a little bad and he didn't want to push anything so he nodded a little as a farewell and grabbed his things and left the cafe.

"Don't go almost beating up anymore customers," he teased on his way out. Even if that guy definitely deserved it. The sheepish look on Chuuya's face made it worth it.

He couldn't help but wonder why Chuuya didn't like him?

....

Did that just happened?

Chuuya couldn't believe any of that just happened. Especially the part where Dazai swooped in, which he was grateful for because he was definitely about to end that fucker's life.

Ahhhh, Chuuya wanted to squeal and jump up and down like some dumb school girl in love.

Chapter Text

"Chuuya-san! I accidentally kept the milk frother on too long and it exploded everywhere!"

Chuuya spun around to stare at the panicked boy, his eyes immediately went to his hands and he noticed they were also covered in milk.

"Are you hurt?" Was his first question. Atsushi looked taken aback.

"But the mess-" he tried to say but Chuuya cut him off.

"That milk gets pretty hot, it stings like a bitch when it gets on you," Chuuya clicked his tongue as he took in the slight redness of Atsushi's hands and lead him over to the nearest sink to run them under cold water. "Stay here for a while,"

"I- okay..." Atsushi's head looked from Chuuya to his hands and back to Chuuya. "Would you like me to clean up?"

"No, I'll do that," Chuuya shook his head and went to go grab a mop and cloth to wipe up the milk. "You just focus on yourself,"

Nakajima Atsushi was a new employee and Chuuya was in charge of training him, it was going pretty well so far. The kid was polite, easy to get along with and listened to instructions. The only problem Chuuya discovered was his lack of confidence and a disregard for his own personal safety.

Oh shit. Chuuya had glanced at the clock out the corner of his eye, it was almost time for Dazai to arrive. So he knew when the bandaged man arrived. Shut up.

"Atsushi, how are your hands?" Chuuya called out to the albino just standing there awkwardly, his hands still under the water. He practically jumped into the air when his name was called.

"Ah- fine, they feel fine!" Atsushi reassured him but Chuuya just raised his eyebrows unimpressed.

"Go take a break," he ordered. The cafe was pretty quiet around this time so he could afford to have Atsushi take a quick break. Just long enough to ensure his hands weren't too badly hurt.

"Oh, Dazai-san?"

"Atsushi-kun, I didn't know you worked here,"

Chuuya's head whipped over to the counter where Dazai was standing conversing with Atsushi. When did he get here??? He's a few minutes earlier than usual.

"You two know each other?" Chuuya asked instead of the other million question he wanted to ask. Namely why is he early? What's he doing later tonight? Would he be interested in seeing Chuuya's room- not the time.

"We're on the same course," Atsushi replied enthusiastically, "Dazai-san is amazing and he always helps me out when there's something I'm confused by!"

"Oh, so you know Akutagawa too," Chuuya commented, not noticing how Atsushi's face darkened and Dazai had to cover his laugh with a cough.

"I know Akutagawa, yes," Atsushi spoke through gritted teeth, Dazai had failed at covering up his laugh and was now clenching his stomach, bent over laughing.

"Is there a story there?" Chuuya blinked confused, trying not to think too hard about how lovely Dazai's laugh was and how he could spend hours listening to it. He had to stop himself from recording it on his phone so he could listen to it later. But he won't do that. That would be weird and borderline stalkerish.

Unless-

Nope. No. It's creepy.

"He's a jerk," was Atsushi's answer and Dazai somehow began laughing harder, he started wheezing trying to get oxygen into his body. Chuuya would be happy to provide oxygen via mouth to mouth-

For fucks sake, stop it.

"He just likes to contradict everything I say," Atsushi shot Dazai and unimpressed glare but it did nothing to ever the brunette who was on the floor at this point, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Tell-" Dazai gasped in between his giggling, "tell him about- about what happened yesterday!"

"Yesterday?" Chuuya wanted to hear Dazai laugh all the time.

Atsushi's usually friendly face darkened to the point Chuuya was worried he's been possessed or abducted by an alien so the Atsushi in front of him was an imposter.

"I got sick of his pretentious ass," Dazai banged his fist on the floor.

"That's what he called him yesterday!" Dazai interjected.

"So after I said that... he called me a tiger furry... I mean I like tigers that doesn't make me a furry!" Atsushi ranted, ignoring how Dazai choked out furry as he rolled around the cafe floor.

Sure he was making a scene but as previously stated the cafe wasn't busy and Chuuya loved watching him like this.

"So I said he was like a lawnmower, always cutting other's opinions down... then he pulled my hair, like a child!" Atsushi exclaimed and Chuuya had to stifle his own laugh. When Akutagawa get childish it means someone has really bothered him.

"Tell him what you did next! Oh, tell him, tell him!" Dazai managed to pick himself of the floor, no longer laughing but looking incredibly amused.

"I... it was self defence okay!"

"Just tell him!"

"I- I elbowed him in the face," Atsushi admitted ashamed.

"And then tell him what Akutagawa did next!"

"He bit him! The guy bit me! Who does that?"

"He did what?" Chuuya's widened in surprise. Akutagawa, the moody emo, bit Atsushi??

"And then you'll never guess what Atsushi-kun did next!" Dazai was trying so hard not dissolve into a another got of giggles, it was adorable.

"I threw my text book at him,"

"And?"

"He started hitting me with his,"

"And?"

"The lecturer had to break us up..."

"And?"

"Now we both have to help out whenever our lecturer needs us, write a letter of apology and meet with the school counsellor, it was that or expulsion," Atsushi buried his face into his hands in shame. Dazai was once again on the floor, laughing hysterically. Chuuya was admittedly also laughing at the poor boy's expense because they did that in the middle of a lecture.

"You should've seen them Chuuya," Dazai said and Chuuya's brain froze. "They were rolling around the floor together I caught it on video if you would like to see it-"

But it was all white noise to Chuuya as he processed what just happened. Dazai said his name. Dazai. Said. His. Name.

Chuuya.

Chuuya.

You should've seen them Chuuya.

Seen them Chuuya.

Them Chuuya.

Chuuya.

Dazai freaking Osamu said his name!!

Chuuya was resisting the urge to start squealing like some school girl in love so hard right now.

Chuuya had never cared too much about his name before but nw it was his favourite fucking word. Oh. He wanted to hear him say it again. He's give anything to hear it again, anything. You want his sister? Take her, sorry Kouyou you were the best sister a guy could ask for but he has his priorities. Chuuya would commit murder, he would commit any crime as long as he knew he could hear Dazai say his name again.

"-really good," Atsushi said, somehow the topic had changed since Chuuya had zoned out and now he was back to reality he was confused.

"Huh what?" He looked around dazed.

"Oh, I was talking about the horse Dazai drew in the lecture the other day," Atsushi smiled, gesturing to Dazai. "It was really good,"

"You drew a horse?" Chuuya frowned confused, what did horse have to do with English Literature? (Everything Chuuya everything!! DUH!! Oops sorry continue reading this no real plot story I won't interrupt anymore. The horse was called Stella is was super cool-)

Chuuya looked around confused. Did someone say something? Something about a horse named Stella? (Yes is was me! You can't silence m-)

"Chuuya?" Atsushi brought his attention back. "We have another customer,"

Chuuya looked and indeed there was someone new who just walked in. Oh. They should really get back to work. Atsushi went to go clear some tables and it was just him and Dazai.

"Your usual, right?" Chuuya turned to Dazai, already in work mode. Dazai smiled at him with a nod.

He seemed less confident now that Atsushi was gone... oh. Did Chuuya make him uncomfortable???

Chuuya numbly made his coffee and handed it over. Dazai thanked him before heading to his usual table.

The day passed a little in a blur, his one ray of hope was that Dazai stayed longer than usual, until closing and everyone else had already left. It was just him, Dazai and Atsushi remaining. Dazai seemed to be working on something on his laptop, he was completely focussed on whatever he was typing.

Chuuya didn't mind if he stayed longer, it was motivation for him to get the jobs done, just seeing Dazai motivated him. Atsushi's didn't have a problem either, he supposed since they were friends it didn't bother him too much.

When Atsushi went round the back to do some cleaning jobs and Chuuya remained to wipe the tables the typing stopped.

"Chuuya... kun?" Dazai suddenly said and Chuuya almost had a heart attack right there and then. He didn't call him Chuuya-kun earlier, he had just said Chuuya. Did he pick up on how it seemed to affect him?

"Just Chuuya is fine," he forced a smile to his face as he turned to face Dazai. He almost stopped breathing as he saw those brown eyes were completely focussed on him.

"Right, Chuuya," Dazai said casually, but there was clearly something he seemed to want to say.

"Is there something you wanna say?" Chuuya said, intending to sound nice but instead he came off a little aggressive. Oh shit.

Dazai looked a little taken aback, his hand reaching for his book resting on the table. "Yeah there is," he nodded, he bit his lip a little, seemingly considering his words before looking Chuuya straight in the eyes. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

Chuuya.ex had dropped working.

"Hah?"

"Do I not?"

"No, why would you think that?"

Dazai hummed a little, his grip on his book loosening. "Sorry, you just seemed different when you were with other people compared to with me,"

Ah shit. He was that obvious?

"I'm not uncomfortable!" Chuuya insisted, because he really wasn't, in fact he loved it when Dazai was around. He wished Dazai was always around!

Obviously he couldn't tell the other boy any of this. But he could at least reassure him that he wasn't uncomfortable.

Dazai examined him for a while, checking to see if Chuuya was telling the truth. Eventually he smiled, seeming to find what he was looking for,

"Wonderful~" Dazai sang, standing up and putting his laptop away in his bag. "Well then!" He nodded and walked towards the door. "If a good thing Chuuya isn't uncomfortable around me because I like being around Chuuya~"

And with that Dazai left.

Chuuya was alone, red faced and alone. Because WHAT DID THAT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"HAHHHHHHH???"

Chapter Text

Chuuya woke up in a strangers bed.

That wasn't how he wanted to start his Saturday morning but he'll make it work. Still pretty drunk he stumbled out of the bed, put on his clothes, was his shirt on backwards? and left the dorm room.

He was pretty sure he looked like a mess, purely by the judging looks he received from passer-by's (fuck that old couple) and the looks of other students doing the walk of shame who nodded at him. He nodded back out of solidarity.

The hoes need to stick together.

As soon as he got back to his own bed he passed out.

He didn't wake up for another 10 hours. Nakahara Chuuya was dead to the world.

....

"Dude you need to stop drinking so much," Tachihara passed him his water and Chuuya grumbled out a thanks. "You're a light weight, learn your limits,"

"Shut up, I don't wanna hear a lecture on drinking from you," Chuuya didn't even have the energy to hit his friend for daring to act like Chuuya had a drink problem when Tachihara was just as bad.

"You know I'm right," Tachihara rolled his eyes. "Anyway don't you have a crush on that Dazai guy? Why are you going around sleeping with other guys?"

"Hah? How did you know about that?" Chuuya shot up like a bullet, he hadn't told anyone about that particular detail.

"Dude, I'm your best friend, of course I noticed,"

"Ah, shit." Chuuya groaned, placing his pillow on his head. "If you know everyone else probably does too!"

"Hey!"

"Akutagawa knows at least!" Chuuya wailed, "he's probably judging me!"

"Akutagawa judges everything,"

"Exactly!"

A moment of silence passed between them as Chuuya mourned his privacy and the illusion he was doing a good job at hiding his crush.

"I'm going on a man ban," Chuuya decided.

"No, you aren't," Tachihara immediately shot back, "you're a ho,"

"That may be true-" Chuuya started, "which is why I need to go on a ban, if you see me with a guy drag me away, I don't care how you do it!"

Tachihara had a glint in his eye and Chuuya knows he's gonna regret this.

"Can I start screaming about how you're unfaithful to me! Oh oh oh! I'll yell about how I was going to propose soon! Then I'll throw my drink in the guys face!" Tachihara grinned, getting excited over the scene he was going to cause. Chuuya rolled his eyes but was grinning too. He had to admit that would be hilarious.

"You're an idiot,"

"Chuuya! How could you!" Tachihara clutched his heart dramatically. "We were so happy! I've been so dedicated to you! This betrayal- it stings! Oh! It stings!"

Chuuya did throw a pillow at him this time and Tachihara threw it back and eventually they dissolved into a fit of giggles on the bed.

"Seriously though, you don't wanna go celibate right now," Tachihara smirked, and Chuuya knew there was something he knew that Chuuya didn't.

"Why not?"

"You feeling better?" Tachihara stood up, looking at Chuuya excitedly. "Because we need to make you look smoking hot!"

"What? Why?"

"Because tonight, Dazai is going out!"

"What!"

Chuuya jumped up from the bed, hangover completely forgotten.

"But he never goes out!" Chuuya yelled. "Oh my god! Why did I have to get trashed last night! Fuck!"

"It's fine, we'll get you more water and tablets and if that doesn't work we'll just get you drunk again!" Tachihara gave him a thumbs up. "Now get in the shower!"

Chuuya didn't need to be told twice, already running to the bathroom.

20 minutes later Chuuya was out the shower and in comfy clothes, ready start getting ready. Tachihara, Chuuya's personal saviour, was already going through his clothes, picking out outfits.

"Tachi, I love you but your taste is shit," Chuuya rolled his eyes fondly.

"Rude!" Tachihara gasped but moved aside for Chuuya to look through his outfits himself. "I've already convinced Gin to come out, she'll drag Akutagawa too,"

"How do you even know he's coming out?" Chuuya asked, suddenly very aware it could be false information.

"Atsushi and Gin are friends, he told her Dazai, Ranpo, Yosano and him are coming out," Tachi listed off his sources. "Also! I've been warned that apparently those three get embarrassing while drunk, now I don't quite know what that means but I'm eager to find out!"

Chuuya was also eager. He's seen many sides of Dazai so far, the weirdo who values his books more than himself, shy and socially awkward and loud and smug. The key to getting him to come out of his shell seems to be having people he's comfortable around and Chuuya could not wait to see what happens when Dazai's had a few drinks.

A few hours (and a few drinks) later the four rocked up to the club, Shrubs (why do clubs always have the weirdest names?), having paid online already so had their tickets scanned and entered with no problems.

Chuuya immediately cheered when he heard the song playing. He grabbed Gin's hand and pulled her towards the dance floor, almost forgetting the reason they were out until he saw him dancing.

Dazai was singing dramatically along to the ABBA song playing, Dancing Queen was an absolute vibe, with Yosano and Ranpo as they jumped around. Atsushi was dancing awkwardly besides them, looking torn between not wanting to be alone and acting like he doesn’t know them. Chuuya turned to Gin, a look of pure joy on his face and Gin face palmed like he was gonna do something embarrassing.

So rude! Chuuya is never embarrassing, ever!

But a really good idea would do to go over and announce his presence to Dazai. Yes. That is a really good idea.

Chuuya ran over there, still dragging a reluctant Gin, and tapped the brunette on the shoulder. For such a skinny twig Dazai sure had broad shoulders, nice shoulders, sexy shoulders. Chuuya really wanted Dazai on top of him like now. "Dazaiiiiiii!" He whined, getting the other's attention.

Dazai turned around and his face lit up in recognition, "Chibi!" He beamed. Chuuya felt that the nickname was vaguely insulting but decided Dazai could call him whatever he wanted. He preferred good boy and baby but chibi was fine for now. "Gin-chan too, come dance!"

Tachihara and Akutagawa joined them a little later, carrying shots which they passed to Gin and Chuuya. They downed them immediately and Chuuya wanted to vomit. Urgh, jägerbombs, anything but jägerbombs. Whoever invented them was a sadist. He’d much rather have a skittle bomb which he told Tachihara who laughed and shoved him towards Dazai.

Dazai was not a sexy dancer. Chuuya realised that. But somehow everything Dazai did was sexy so he didn’t mind how he bounced up and down, waving his hands wildly to the music and even started head banging at one point. Chuuya was just as excited but he preferred to roll his hips a little as he danced, he was a sexy dancer you see.

Yosano and Gin were doing the typical girl dancing, where they grind up against each other but in a platonic way, that girls seem to do. And Ranpo was… he was on the stage?? When did he get up there?!

Chuuya face lit up and he grabbed Dazai’s hand pulling him over to the stage too. There was room next to Ranpo after all. Said man was slut dropping and and shaking his ass as people cheered. Dazai was happily lead away, still bopping his head in time with the music.

Chuuya climbed up onto the platform first, leaning over to lend Dazai a hand up. Wait, did the guy have a book in his pocket??? At a club?? Chuuya assumed he’d at least leave them at home while out. Chuuya was beginning to realise nothing could separate Dazai from his books.

Oh well, at least it was just on his pocket, he wasn’t clinging to it or reading it right now. Chuuya had his full attention. He felt a rush of excitement as he realised those dark eyes were fixated on him.

He took a sharp breath as Dazai leaned over, so close Chuuya could smell the cologne he used, to whisper in his ear. “Chuuya is a good dancer,” he murmured, hot breath against his skin making Chuuya go crazy. He wanted to throw himself at the other man and beg him to take him home, or even just to the bathrooms. Chuuya was desperate he’s do anything.

All he needed to do was grab those cheeks and pull his face close so he can kiss him senseless and then after that Chuuya will let Dazai decided what comes next. Anyway Dazai wants him, Chuuya will do it.

Instead he smiles and whispers back, “you’re not so bad yourself,” because sure Dazai is a little funny but Chuuya has seen worse. Look at Akutagawa awkwardly moving his hands, at least Dazai was enthusiastic.

Chuuya then held out his hand to Dazai, who took it easily and they were dancing together. Dazai spun him around and Chuuya returned the favour, even if it was a little awkward with how much taller Dazai was, until they were dancing so close, chests practically touching, panting and laughing.

Chuuya may have been a little drunk but he could swear he saw some lust in Dazai’s eyes. He swears he saw his eyes flicker down to his lips and he swears that as crazy as it might sound, Dazai Osamu wanted Chuuya as badly as Chuuya wanted him.

And then they were interrupted by Akutagawa, claiming that Yosano was buying everyone another round.

Chuuya was going to commit murder.

Chapter Text

Chuuya took that shot.

And then another.

And another.

He was a little pissed at the interruption and was convinced it was over. His life was ruined. That was his chance and it was now gone forever. He didn’t even see Dazai anymore, just staying at the bar ignoring the worried looks the bartender was giving him. Chuuya ignored Albatross’ concern and waved for another shot. Yes Chuuya knows the bartenders names, he may or may not be here a lot.

“Chuu, I think you might’ve had enough,” Tross tried to say but Chuuya waved him off.

“I blew my shot with the love of my life!” He whined, loudly to speak over the music. Ooh this was a good song, he’ll go dance in a minute.

“Dude, I’m not that kind of bartender,” Tross sighed, serving another drunk customer for a couple minutes before returning to Chuuya. “Since when do you have a love of your life?”

“Since uni started, bro!” Chuuya slurred, struggling to hold himself up. Was it just him or was the room starting to spin a little and the floor looked super appealing right now. “He’s so gor-“ uh oh.

Chuuya stumbled as quickly as his hazy mind could over to the bathrooms, which luckily wasn’t too far from the bar. He was gonna throw up. He will vomit into the toilet and maybe pass out. One thing at a time. Oh but passing out right now sounded so good, maybe he would if he didn’t feel so nauseous he thinks he might be dying. Those last few shots were a bad idea, weren’t they.

He made it to the bathroom in time. Whoooo! He’s amazing, he’s the best, people should look at him for inspira-

And he was hurling.

Chuuya had no idea how long he was in there for, all the other men ignored him, maybe one or two asked if he was good but mostly just awkwardly glanced before leaving quickly. Damn, men suck. Girlies support the girlies, Chuuya has seen Gin look after a complete stranger before and he’s seen complete stranger help her out. Men should be more like the girlie-

And he was vomiting again.

Next he entered that awkward stage where your head is just resting on the toilet seat and no more vomit is coming out but you still feel bad and you can’t really lift your head and you got a little vomit around your mouth and in your hair so it smells kinda bad but you can’t really do anything because you’re about to pass out.

“Chuuya?’

And oh, now he was hallucinating because he just heard the voice of an angel. Sure the angel sounded kinda slurred like the angel had been drinking too, could angels drink, Chuuya didn’t know he wasn’t particularly religious.

He turned around to look at the angel (by turn around he slightly shifted his head because that’s all he could manage). Oh the angel was so pretty.

Chuuya doesn’t really remember much else after that.

….

When people think about Dazai Osamu they immediately assumed he would hate clubbing.

They couldn’t be more wrong. Crowds, he hates, bright lights, despises, loud noises, kill him. But clubbing, he loves. And well there really is only one reason for this. Alcohol.

Dazai is… well a mild alcoholic. Not in a he spends everyday getting wasted way, or even in a way that it really affects his life at all. He simply solves a lot of his issues with alcohol. Can’t sleep at night, drink. Feeling a little nervous, drink. Can’t get into the creative flow when writing, drink. When the world is too much and the void is growing, drink like his life depends on it because it probably does.

He’s aware it’s not the healthiest thing to do which is why he tries not to buy alcohol when he very rarely goes shopping because he hasn’t been for 3 weeks and Yosano and Ranpo have caught onto how he’s been subtly manipulating them into cooking for him too, well Yosano was the only cook, Ranpo and him were useless. Which was a shame, that was good while it lasted. Now Yosano demanded they both did their own grocery shopping because it was destroying her bank account buying enough for three.

In any case, the reason Dazai so rarely goes out when he loves it is because it’s easy once he’s drunk but when he’s sober, well it’s a struggle just to get out of bed. Once he’s out with a few drinks in him, he feels so free and confident and genuinely just enjoys letting loose a little in the club. He’s even less bothered by the strangers dancing around him even if he does try not to touch any of them and prefers the less crowded areas.

Then, Chuuya showed up and Dazai felt this unbelievable happiness because Chuuya approached him first!

And there was this one moment between them that felt like- Dazai shook that thought away. One night stands were okay, great even, though he did always ended up feeling in need of a long shower after, but Chuuya wouldn’t be some one night stand. Chuuya was in his life, he’s the one who pours him the coffee.

So yeah. Making Chuuya into a one night stand felt wrong.

It had taken his drunk mind a little longer than he was proud of but he realised the little redhead was missing from the group. He drunkenly stumbled over to the bar where he was last seen and was pointed into the toilets where he found Chuuya over the toilet bowl looking, for lack of a better word, like shit.

“Chuuya?” He mumbled, his drunk mind feeling a little sharper now as he took in just how horrible the other looked. Not that Chuuya looked bad. No, even was vomit on his chin Chuuya somehow still managed to look good, but maybe that was just Dazai’s opinion.

Chuuya just groaned and Dazai frowned. He really was in bad shape. It took him a moment but then he realised water! Water was good!

“I’ll be right back, Chuuya,” he informed the redhead. As he left he didn’t notice how Chuuya reached out for him, whimpering, as if pleading with him not to go.

Dazai got the water pretty quickly, Albatross was happy to abandon the couple he was serving and get Dazai a cup of water quickly because clearly he has his priorities straight. Dazai walked as quickly as he could back to Chuuya and help him to sit up, careful to be gentle with him, and wiped away the vomit around his lips with some tissues because… Dazai really didn’t want that getting on him. Sue him.

He held the glass to the redhead’s mouth and Chuuya shook his head, groaning.

“It’s just water,” he reassured him, stroking his hair hoping it might calm him down.

“Da…zai…?” Chuuya croaked out, looking at him with hazy eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me, Chuuya,” he confirmed, putting the glass to his lips again, this time Chuuya obediently swallowed. Huh, maybe Chuuya was just being cautious in case it was a stranger. It’s nice to know Chuuya trusted him.

They sat on the bathroom floor together for a while, Dazai occasionally giving Chuuya the glass to sip on and Chuuya resting on Dazai looking content, well as content as someone this drunk could be.

“Hehe,” Chuuya giggled randomly. Dazai looked down at him questioningly. He liked Chuuya’s smile.

“What is it, chibi?” He questioned. Chuuya giggled again.

“Samuuuuuu~” Chuuya sang and then threw up again, barely throwing himself at the toilet in time.

Wonderful. Dazai would try not to take that personally.

Dazai rubbed circles on his back, hoping it was reassuring enough.

Why was he doing this? He’s never been the one to take care of the sick people on nights out. He usually left it up to the others and continued to mind his own business. He helped his close friends, but that was only about four people, and he and Chuuya couldn’t be considered close at all. They hardly knew each other and Chuuya always seemed so awkward around him.

Dazai wanted to sigh as he once again helped Chuuya drink the water. Why was he doing this?

He looked down at Chuuya, looking so strangely vulnerable in this state and decided it didn’t matter.

At some point Tachihara and Ranpo had come in looking for them and Dazai waved them off telling he had it covered and they should go have fun. Tachihara looked concerned but agreed since Dazai did indeed have it under control, Ranpo shot Dazai a look as he left and Dazai decided he didn’t want to try and decipher that right now.

“Alright Chuuya,” Dazai stood up, keeping his hold on the redhead, “lets get you home now,” it was a half an hour walk back to campus but Chuuya wasn’t throwing up anymore and seemed a little more lucid now, hopefully a taxi will accept them. He really did not want to do the walk.

He heaved Chuuya up by hooking his arms under his armpits and then awkwardly lifted one of Chuuya’s arms over his shoulder. Since he was so much taller than Chuuya he had to bend at an uncomfortable angle but they made it work.

Dazai took him out the club and he seemed to like the fresh air more than the stuffy club air, so they waited together at the curb side, Dazai had already called an Uber while they were inside and it was five minutes away.

“You read a lot,” Chuuya spoke so suddenly it caught Dazai a little off guard.

“I do,” he agreed.

“You’re going to miss out on everything if you don’t look up from your books once in a while,” Chuuya said and Dazai tensed up.

Well you see, that was the point.

He wasn’t going to tell this to Chuuya though so instead he started to hum. Chuuya didn’t speak again and Dazai thought he might have drifted off.

When the Uber arrived Dazai helped Chuuya in and told the driver to take them to campus. He tried to get Chuuya to tell him which dorm he was in but Chuuya kept giggling and telling Dazai he was pretty which was no help no matter how warm it made him feel.

Chuuya really was adorable.

But honestly, he wishes he would just tell him where he lived. In the end Dazai told the driver his address, off campus. Him, Ranpo and Yosano all agreed that the idea of sharing a dorm with another person was disgusting and they would rather bite their own tongue off. Kunikida insisted that living in a dorm was part of the university experience so he was roommates with some guy called Sigma.

He paid the driver and dragged Chuuya in his room, laying him on the bed after taking off his shoes. It would probably be weird to undress him so Dazai just pulled the covers over him as he was.

Now then, where was he supposed to sleep?

Chapter Text

Chuuya woke up with a headache, a really dry throat and a strong urge to vomit.

Not an unfamiliar feeling but one he hated every time. God, he really had to quit drinking.

He also woke up in an unfamiliar bed, which again, not an unfamiliar situation for him to be in. What was weird was the fact that he was still fully dressed and, felt around a little to confirm this, but there was no one else in bed with him. Now this was a little weird.

He sat up, wincing at his headache and looked around. All he could think was wow that's a lot of books. There were books everywhere, on the shelves, on the floor, on the window sill. There. Were. Books. Everywhere. Was he in some kind of library?

He had to squint to try and see through the darkness, since the only light in the room came from the slight gap in the curtains, but what that a lump on the floor? It didn't look like more books, in fact it almost looked like a-

"ACHOO!" Chuuya almost jumped into the air in shock as the lump twitched.

"What the fuck!" He yelled reflexively, and oh no he sat up too fast. Fuck his gonna vomit.

"Oh?" The lump sat up and eyed him curiously. Expect, it wasn't a lump. It was Dazai freaking Osamu. "You're awake," he stated, looking at Chuuya sitting up on his bed, wait was this Dazai's bed? Wait, so this was Dazai's room.

Holy fucking shit. This was Dazai's room. He was in DAZAI'S room. This had to be a dream and if it was never wake him, ever. What did he do to deserve such good fortune?

And also where was the toilet.

"I'm gonna throw up," was all Chuuya could get out before hopping out the bed and running out the door, he could absolutely not throw up in Dazai's bed. He covered his mouth with his hand, begging it to stay down until he made it to the toilet, where the fuck was the toilet.

"To the right," Dazai was behind him and leading Chuuya down the hallway and into the bathroom. Within seconds Chuuya was over the toilet bowl dry heaving because apparently he had nothing in his stomach to throw up. Dazai stayed with him rubbing his back reassuringly and Chuuya was almost grateful that he felt like shit because he hated Dazai to keep touching him and never stop.

When Chuuya was done he washed his face in the sink before looking at Dazai curiously. Fuck, how did this man look so attractive this early in the morning. Chuuya was sure he looked like a mess, whereas Dazai's bed hair just made him look adorable. Life truly wasn't fair.

"How are you feeling?" Dazai asked, his face neutral as he handed Chuuya a glass of water.

"Better, thanks," Chuuya replied, taking the water a downing it immediately. Great, his throat hurt like a bitch. "Is this... your room?"

"Yup, sure is!" Dazai grinned suddenly and Chuuya felt a little disorientated by how quickly his mood seemed to change but it wasn't in a bad way. He was just a little too hungover for this. "You still feeling hungover, hmm?"

Dazai's eyes looked over Chuuya, and even though it wasn't in a sexual way, just a general check of his well being, Chuuya felt himself shiver.

"A little, yeah," Chuuya's voice came out a little strained.

"Wonderful~" Dazai clapped his hands and smiled. "You'll look adorable in my clothes~"

Chuuya blinked.

Wait what? What did this sexy guy just say?

Wait the sexy part was unnecessary, not that it isn't true, wait now is not the time!

"What?" Chuuya managed to squeak out.

"Well, does Chuuya want to wander around in those club clothes," Dazai asked, raising his eyebrows with this smug air around him like he already knew the answer of was just saying it like this to mess with him.

And wait. Did Dazai say he's be adorable?

It hit him a little late but yes, he did indeed say this. Chuuya's face immediately set on fire and he was sure he was about to combust. Oh god, death by exploding because his crush gave him a compliment. How pathetic.

In the time it took for Chuuya to process all of this Dazai had left and come back with some clothes, a jumper that Chuuya was pretty sure would drown him, and a t-shirt that wasn't as big as the jumper but was guaranteed to be a little oversized on him.

"Hurry, hurry! I need my morning coffee!" Dazai rushed him and Chuuya just numbly took the clothes and made himself look presentable in the bathroom.

Was Dazai kicking him out already?

It made sense, Dazai went out of his way to help Chuuya and even slept on the floor last night. He didn't blame Dazai for wanting his room back as quick as possible. Still, the blatant rejection stung a little.

Fuck. He watched Chuuya throw up. Fuck, no! How unsexy is that. He would never get another chance with Dazai ever again would he?

Chuuya walked out the bathroom feeling dejected, he was staring at the floor unable to bring himself to meet Dazai's eyes. Until he heard a chuckle, his eyes shot up, completely confused.

"You look like a kicked puppy," Dazai laughed.

"Hah?" Chuuya felt his face heat up, sure he usually wore his heart on his sleeve but he did not look that pathetic. Or did he? He felt pretty pathetic right now. "I do not!" He protested anyway. Dazai just raised his eyebrows amused.

"Come on, pup~" Dazai took Chuuya's hand and started dragging him towards the door, Chuuya's face was hot he thought it would melt.

They. Were. Holding. Hands.

"Let's go get some coffee," Dazai cheered as the left the apartment, walking past an unconscious Ranpo and Yosano snoring on the floor, Yosano still hugging a bottle of wine. Ah. Chuuya has been there before.

"Wait what?"

"Coffee, or do you have other plans," Dazai suddenly paused, like he hadn't considered that Chuuya might not be available.

"No, no, I'm free it's just-" Chuuya had to wait for his brain to catch up because what the fuck was going on? Wait.

Was this a date?

"Coffee, me and you, just the two of us?" He managed to squeak out.

"Well, yeah," Dazai tilted his head looking a little lost and if that wasn't the cutest damn thing Chuuya has ever seen. "I don't think Ranpo or Yosano will appreciate being woken up right now,"

Ah. Of course... so it probably wasn't a date. Chuuya had really gotten his hopes up.

Although... one on one time with Dazai! This is an opportunity too good to pass up!

"Let's go!" Chuuya declared, hang over completely forgotten about. He was practically bouncing with excitement. Dazai blinked, confused by his sudden change in attitude.

"Chuuya must really like coffee," he heard Dazai mumble to himself. Chuuya wanted to laugh. No, he really like you, idiot.

Chapter Text

The walk was mostly spent in companionable silence. Chuuya occasionally making a comment and Dazai listening with that soft smile that made Chuuya want to swoon, take multiple photos and blow them up to cover his entire wall.

In any case, it was a really nice smile.

"Here we are!" Dazai beamed, stopping outside the coffee shop Chuuya works at. "Obviously the coffee won't be as good without Chibi making it,"

"What did you just call me?" Chuuya snapped automatically, immediately regretting it because who talks like that to their crush??? To his relief Dazai just laughed.

"Chibi?" He repeated, a mischievous grin on his face. "You didn't have a problem with me calling you that yesterday,"

"I was drunk," Chuuya grumbled, but didn't tell him to stop.

They entered the coffee shop and to Chuuya’s absolute relief none of his dumb friends are on shift today so he is spared their teasing over his date (wait can this be counted as a date? Probably not…) with Dazai. Said brunette took them over to his usual table before taking a seat. Chuuya sat opposite him and looked around.

“It’s weird being on the customer side of things,” he commented absentmindedly.

“Chuuya doesn’t come here outside of his shifts?” Dazai tilted his head, his full attention on Chuuya and not the book he placed on the table.

“Not really,” he shrugged. “Why come to work when I don’t have to,”

“If they see how much free time you have, they might put you down for more shifts,” Dazai nodded seriously, “how horrible,”

Chuuya snorted. “Exactly, I have enough shit going on I don’t need more work,”

Dazai laughed too before glancing over at the counter. “What will you being having? I’ll order it so you can hide from the evil overlords,”

“Just a regular black,” Chuuya replied, rolling his eyes fondly. At this Dazai pulled a face.

“Gross, you’re one of those,” he fake gagged. “Only psychopaths drink black coffee,”

“If I remember correctly didn’t your friend order one too,”

“Exactly~” Dazai winked before strolling over to the counter, book in hand. He never let that thing go did he?

Chuuya wasn’t going to complain, he got to watch Dazai’s ass as he left. It was kinda flat but Chuuya had decided everything about Dazai was perfect.

Dazai returned a few minutes later with a dramatic declaration of, “the coffee has been ordered!”

“So,” Chuuya fumbled awkwardly for a new topic while Dazai seemed content to sit in comfortable silence. Dazai’s eyes immediately snapped over to Chuuya. “You do literature…?”

Wow. That was so awkward.

“I do,” Dazai said calmly, either not minding or not noticing how weird Chuuya was being. “I never actually did learn what you do?”

“Physics,” Chuuya answered a little quicker than someone normally would, but he was happy Dazai was taking an interest in him. “I do physics,” he said a little slower.

“Ew, STEM,” Dazai scrunched up his nose and Chuuya should feel insulted but Dazai was so fucking cute when he did that. “How can you put yourself through that, you must be quite the masochist,”

That was neither here nor there.

“I like physics,” Chuuya shrugged. “And how is literature any better, reading a bunch of words some dead dudes wrote, what the hell are you supposed to do with that?”

“I wouldn’t expect a physics major to understand,” Dazai said the word physics like it was an insult. Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Literature isn’t just ‘a bunch of words from some dead dude’ as you so eloquently put it, it’s the study of the human soul, we can learn a lot about someone through their work, and not only that but we can learn about history and culture through books,”

Chuuya was transfixed. Sure, Dazai was being pretty damn pretentious but his eyes seemed to sparkle and his smile seemed a little more genuine than usual as he spoke, that Chuuya couldn’t help but be enraptured.

“There’s nothing quite like being sucked in by a good book, being able to leave this world behind and travel to another, try comparing that to your equations and forces,”

Chuuya supposed this was where he was supposed to defend his major, but he was so starstruck by Dazai that it took him a moment to respond. By that point Dazai was smiling smugly at him.

“Physics defines the universe,” Chuuya shrugged not quite having the way with words Dazai does. “Everything is where it’s supposed to be and is so precise, it’s hard not to want to learn more about… if that makes sense,” he trailed off not sure if his thoughts came across.

“So Chuuya likes looking for stability and sense in the world,” Dazai hummed. A waitress had brought over their drinks and was placing them down. Dazai gave her a bright smile and thanked her. Chuuya mumbled out a thanks too.

“Isn’t it less scary to understand the world around you?” Chuuya replied.

“Personally,” Dazai leaned forwards as if sharing some secret. “I prefer the chaos,”

Chuuya snorted. Of course he did.

“Well in any case, it would appear we are stuck in our opposing views,” Dazai leaned back into his chair and Chuuya resisted the urge to sulk at the distance. He hadn’t noticed quite how close Dazai was until he was gone.

“Oh well, it’s no fun if we agree on everything,” Chuuya shrugged, taking a sip from his coffee.

“Chuuya’s right, for once,” Dazai nodded sagely. Chuuya resisted the urge to kick him under the table. “Mindless sheep are the absolute worse,”

“And there you go,” Chuuya grinned. “There’s something we agree on,”

“I suppose it is,”

Just then Chuuya’s phone buzzed, he glanced down to see a message form Kouyou. She apparently had some free time on Wednesday and wanted to see if Chuuya wanted to go for lunch with her.

“A date?” Dazai lifted his eye brows, shamelessly looking at Chuuya’s screen.

“Gross,” Chuuya frowned. “That’s my sister, dipshit,” Dazai looked amused at the insult so Chuuya tried to not freak out about what he just called his crush.

What kind of idiot called his crush dipshit though. An idiot who didn’t want to get laid.

“Chuuya has a sister?” Dazai asked instead of telling Chuuya he hated him and never wanted to se him again.

“Yeah,” he sent off a quick reply to tell Kouyou that sounds good. “She’s four years older and is insanely busy working as a designer, I don’t get to see her as often as I would like,”

“A designer, that’s interesting,” Dazai hummed, taking a bite of the cake he also ordered.

“She’s really good,”

“Can I see some of her clothes?” Dazai wondered and Chuuya immediately pulled out his phone and brought up her instagram. Dazai scrolled through whistling at some of the more impressive clothes. “You’re right, she’s talented,”

And then Dazai pulled out his own phone, typed a little on it before handing Chuuya back his own phone. The redhead looked at it curiously before realising Dazai had just requested him on instagram.

He needed to take a moment before he started squealing like a teenage girl. He did, however, let out an embarrassing sound that he managed to cover up with a cough.

He accepted Dazai’s request without hesitation and requested him back. Dazai smiled at him before accepting.

“Lovely, now I can message you when I want to meet you for coffee instead of taking you back to my bed,” Dazai winked before standing up with a flourish. Chuuya choked on the coffee he had been drinking at the innuendo. Was his face red? He thinks he must be on fire! “Sorry to cut this short but I promised Kunikida-kun a study session I am-“ Dazai glanced at the time on his phone, “an hour and 5 minutes late for, ahaha~ he’s gonna wring my neck for sure,”

Chuuya tried to not feel disappointed but it was hard to not.

“Sure, see you later,” he said instead of begging Dazai to stay because that would be pathetic.

“Let’s do this again sometime, chibi~” Dazai waved as he exited the shop.

Chuuya sighed and finished his drink.

(Kunikida did indeed throttle Dazai when the man appeared.)

Chapter Text

“Chuuya~” Dazai greeted the shorter man as he entered the coffee shop.

“Dazai,” Chuuya nodded in greeting, fighting to keep the blush down. This was the first time he had seen the other since their not a date the other day.

“How’s my favourite Chiba today?” Dazai smirked leaning on the counter.

“I’m not a-“ and then he processed what Dazai had said. “… favourite…” he mumbled to himself, giving up the battle and turning into a red faced tomato.

“Hehe, Chuuya’s gone all red,” Dazai snickered and Chuuya throw a straw at him.

“No I’m not!”

“You so are~”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Are t-“

“Ahem,” a cough from Atsushi stopped their little argument. Apparently customers were starting to stare. “Can you two keep it down?”

“Right, sorry,” Chuya sighed, embarrassed that his coworker (who had only been working here a little while) had to remind him to be professional. It’s just that when Dazai was around Chuuya tended to forget about everything else.

“No promises~” was what the idiot who Chuuya was in love with responded with.

Atsushi walked off mumbling something under his breath that Chuuya couldn’t hear but had a feeling he wouldn’t like.

“Your usual, right?” Chuuya tapped it into the till as Dazai nodded in response. The brunette paid and waited at the counter, tapping his fingers and humming.

“So, what are Chuuya’s plans for the evening?” He asked as Chuuya was putting the finishing touches on his drink.

“Just a quiet night in,” he shrugged, handing the cup over. “Gonna watch some movies then sleep,”

“Ohhh! What movies?”

“Legally Blonde,” Chuuya replied without thinking much. It had been a while since he rewatched the-

“The greatest movie of all time!” Dazai gasped immediately, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Yeah!” Chuuya agreed, because it simply was. Elle Woods was iconic and Chuuya one day hoped to be as iconic as her. “I’ve rewatched it so many times I can quote most of it,”

“I can recite the entire movie!” Dazai bragged. “I reserve a whole section of my brain to Legally Blonde,”

“ A good use of brain power,” 

“Right! So you gonna watch the sequel?”

“Probably, I mean it’s obviously not as good as the original,”

“Obviously,”

“But it’s still decent and you can never have enough Elle Woods,”

“Of course, I aspire to live up to her greatness,” Dazai said seriously, as though he were talking about something academic and not the best female character ever written.

“You have a lot of work to do then,” Chuuya snorted, imaging Dazai in one of the pink outfits Elle Wood is known for.

“Just watch me,” Dazai said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as he reached for the straw Chuuya threw up him earlier before dropping it onto the ground. Chuuya watched him confused as Dazai took at step back before slowly leaning down. “Bend-“ he started, picking up the straw and Chuuya had to stifle a laugh. And suddenly Dazai snapped back up, holding the straw, hands positioned by the side of his chest as if he had breasts. “And snap!” He grinned at Chuuya.

Chuuya couldn’t contain it anymore. He burst out laughing.

“You-“ he wheezed. “Have you practised that?” 

“Of course,” 

Chuuya laughed harder.

“So?” Dazai smiled, “room for one more at your movie night?”

Chuuya blinked, pinching himself to check he wasn’t dreaming.

“Only if you bring the snacks,”

He was awake.

…….

After obsessively cleaning his room, like a man possessed, Chuuya deemed his room acceptable for Dazai’s visit. His bed was made, his clothes were neatly folded and put away and his usual clutter at his desk was neatened out.

Wonderful, Chuuya seemed like a functional human being, not the burnt out, broke, alcoholic university student he was.

He had messaged Dazai ten minutes ago to let him know he could come over any time (yes they text now!!!! Ok that was the first text they had ever exchanged but it still counted for something) and Dazai sent a thumbs up and told him he was on his way.

That left Chuuya to stew in his thought for ages, panicking about everything that could possibly go wrong and obsessively checking his phone for any more messages from Dazai. He didn’t live that far, he was only a building over… maybe he wasn’t coming. What if he stood Chuuya up? Or an emergency happened?

It took another five minutes and Chuuya was getting ready to send his own text to ask where the other man is before Dazai messaged.

Chibi let me in the buildingggggggg

Was the slightly irritating message. Chuuya instantly jumped up and started running out the door, to let Dazai in.

No

Stay outside in the cold

Whatttttt so mean to me

Lol good

And with that Chuuya flung open the door to the building to see a smiling brunette.

“Chuuya did come for me!” Dazai beamed. “I was starting to think you would leave me out here all night,”

“It was tempting,” Chuuya smirked, moving aside to let him into the foyer.

Chuuya figured out Dazai didn’t mind his… feisty personality. Fuck everyone who said he had anger issues, Chuuya was a fucking delight and anyone who said otherwise was a hater. He’s had crushes in the past who he scared off though, so he was doing his best to keep his strong opinions to himself, as much as he could. Maybe he wasn’t doing the best job but at least Dazai wasn’t fleeing from terror when Chuuya elbowed him in the side for calling him short. 

In fact the other laughed. It made Chuuya feel all warm and gooey inside. Maybe someone like Dazai could explain these feelings with beautiful poetic words, but Chuuya was Chuuya. He liked to keep things simple and the simple truth was he liked being with taller man, even if he was an asshole.

The redhead eyed the book in Dazai’s hands carefully. “You aren’t planning on reading through the movie are you?” 

Dazai looked absolutely scandalised.

“Chuuya!” He gasped, covering his heart with his hand. “How could you think I would dare desecrate this sacred movie by not watching every second with wide, eager eyes!”

“Just checking,” Chuuya rolled his eyes.

“Legally Blonde, and actually most 90’s, early 200’s movies are basically my religion,” Dazai informed him. “Ten things I hate about you, Wild Child, Clueless, Gilmore Girls-“

“Gilmore Girls isn’t a movie you uncultured swine,” Chuuya interrupted the list.

“Uncultured swine?” Dazai raised his eyebrows at Chuuya, tone practically dripping with amusement6. “Each episode is like 40 minutes long, they’re basically like short movies,”

“That is not how that works!” Chuuya stomped on the other’s foot, ignoring his whine, as they approached Chuuya’s room. He opened the door, he hadn’t bothered locking it since he wouldn’t be gone long. “Get in, you big baby,”

“So mean to me!” Dazai complained but went inside obediently. Chuuya rolled his eyes but followed him in, grabbing his laptop to set up the movie.

“I still can’t believe they took it off Netflix,” he grumbled, logging into Amazon prime.

“That happened ages ago, get over it,” Dazai so helpfully added. Chuuya spun round to tell him that Netflix keeps removing great shows and that Dazai should shut up and then he saw Dazai lounging on his bed, looking much too comfortable.

Suddenly Chuuya was very much aware that there was no where else for him to go, sure there was his desk chair but it would be awkward to position the laptop somewhere they could both see it and there was no way he could just get on the bed with Dazai because won’t that be too forward of him?????

What the fuck did he do?

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Dazai spoke.

“What are you doing, come on put the movie on,” he said, like a brat, shuffling over so there was more room for Chuuya.

Right. This was fine. This was normal. Chuuya has watched movies with friends on the bed before. They all huddled on the bed, fighting over the blanket, kicking each other for fun. But this wasn’t just one of his friends, this was Dazai!

“Chuuya, you with me?”

Dazai standing in front of Chuuya, waving a hand in his face, this close their height difference was even more noticeable as Chuuya had to look up at the tall bastard, Dazai’s expression carefully blank.

“If you’re uncomfortable with this I can just-“

“No, no!” Chuuya frantically shook his head, grabbing Dazai’s wrist as he turned towards the door. “It’s fine, sorry I was just over thinking!”

Dazai blinked down at him, his eyes scanning him for a trace of a lie. He seemed to be satisfied because he smiled. “Don’t strain yourself too much~”

“Hah?” 

They did eventually set up the movie and Dazai was not lying when he claimed to have it memorised. After a while, Chuuya placed a pillow over his face to make him shut up.

They did, however, act out the court scene with Chuuya as Emmett and Dazai as Enrique.

“Did you ever take Mrs. Windham on a date,” Chuuya said in perfect time with the character on the screen.

“Yes,” Dazai replied, mimicking Enrique’s accent.

“Where?”

“A restaurant in Concord where no one would recognise us,”

“And how long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?”

“Three months,”

“And your boyfriend’s name is?” Chuuya had to hold back a laugh at this iconic line.

“Chuck,” Dazai said, completely straight faced, not breaking character.

“Right,” Chuuya wheezed, not being able to take it anymore. Dazai’s face twitched and Chuuya could tell he was close to breaking too.

“I was confused!” Dazai said dramatically, flaunting his arms around. “You see, I thought you said friend! Chuck is just a friend!”

At this moment Chuuya stood up dramatically. “You bitch!” He yelled, playing Chuck.

“Chuck wait!” Dazai jumped up to tackle Chuuya back to the bed. Both of them dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Then Chuuya realised the position they were in, Dazai was on top of him, still laughing, and Chuuya was clinging to him where they had been play wrestling. Shit.

Chuuya tried to turn his brain off, he really did. He didn’t want to turn this otherwise wholesome moment into something else but who can stop their thoughts????

Dazai seemed to noticed him stiffen up beneath him because he too realised their position and sat up. “That’s one of my favourite scenes,” he muttered awkwardly.

“It’s one of the best scenes in the movie,” Chuuya agreed.

The next few minutes were a little tense but they soon got to arguing about whether or not Vivian did enough to redeem herself.

Chuuya insisted that since she made it right in the end that she wasn’t a total bitch. Dazai insists that a bitch is a bitch.

They were at an impasse.

Dazai cheered when Professor Stromwell gave Elle her speech and called her an absolute queen, badass girlboss. 

The movie ended and then they played the second one, which again not as good as the original. When that was over Dazai made the offensive suggestion of putting Legally Blondes on and Chuuya almost threw him out the window. That movie was an insult to the original ones. Those two twins completely ruined Elle’s legacy and it was just a scheme to get rich riding the coat tails of the superior first movie.

“Let’s watch Dirty Dancing then!” Dazai suggested.

“Hmmm, sure why not,” Chuuya agreed, searching it up. Urgh, you had to rent or buy it. He sighed before renting it quickly. 

After Dirty Dancing they watched Mama Mia, then Mama Mia: Here we go again, then 27 dresses until it was 6 am and neither had slept a wink, busy arguing what the best movie of all time was. Dazai insisted they couldn’t ignore the older Disney movies which Chuuya dismissed as being kid movies, until Dazai made him watch Anastasia and Chuuya had to concede defeat.

“Fuck!” Chuuya cursed when he realised it was past 9. He not only had a lecture in an hour but also a shift at work in the afternoon.

“Oh. I’m fifteen minutes late to my lecture,” Dazai casually commented, looking at the time himself.

“Huh! Then quickly go!” Chuuya insisted, noticing how fine Dazai seemed after no sleep. Although with those permanent eye bags Chuuya had a feeling the other wasn’t a stranger to all nighters.

“Meh, I think I’ll skip today,” Dazai stretch out his arms above his head, “Chuuya should consider skipping too, you’re gonna want a couple hours before your shift later,”

“I’ll be fine,” Chuuya insisted, he actually felt like he would pass out but that wasn’t important.

“If you say so~” Dazai sang, heading over to the door. “Good luck Chuuya!” He waved. “We should do this again, it was fun!”

The door closed and Chuuya was all alone processing Dazai’s last words.

Chapter Text

"That Nakahara has a really nice ass,"

"Agreed,"

"Huh?"

Ranpo and Yosano both turned to Dazai with matching faces of exasperation.

"Don't act like you haven't noticed, Dazai," Yosano rolled her eyes like he was a child, a really annoying child. So rude! How dare his oldest friend treat him like this!

"Well, of course I noticed," Dazai huffed, closing his book now that he was actually expected to be part of the conversation. "I'm just confused where this is coming from,"

"You two have been spending a lot of time together," Ranpo pointed out, more interested in his lollipop than the conversation.

"We're friends, that's what friends do," Dazai blinked, confused at why his friends were trying to hint that there might be more to their relationship than that. "There's nothing more between Chuuya and me,"

"This dumbass," Yosano groaned, collapsing back into the sofa she and Ranpo were occupying. Dazai was curled up on the armchair besides them, he was reading peacefully until they decided to interrupt his quiet time and push whatever nonsense they're insisting on now.

"What did Dazai do now?" Kunikida walked into the room holding the tray of hot drinks. They were all in Dazai's living room, well he supposed it was also Ranpo and Yosano's living room also but they lost that privilege when they started hinting at whatever delusions they're imagining.

"I didn't do anything!" Dazai protested, only to be ignored.

"He's in denial," Ranpo blatantly lied because Dazai was not in denial about anything, thank you very much!

"Ah, is this about Nakahara-san again," Kunikida nodded, sitting down on the other armchair opposite Dazai.

The brunette huffed, reaching out to grab his hot chocolate, and taking a sip. "Ack! It's hot!"

"Of course it's hot, you idiot," Kunikida shook his head dismissively before turning to the other two in the room. "So still no progress?"

Rude! Everyone was being extremely rude today!

Usually he would just turn back to his books and sulk but this conversation was about him! It was basically illegal for him not to listen.

"I figured Nakahara would've made a move by now, what's keeping him?" That was Yosano being extremely stupid. Obviously there was no such feelings between him and Chuuya, they were just very good friends. Nothing more.

Dazai would know if Chuuya liked him like that, he's not oblivious.

(Somewhere in the university dorms.

"So any progress with Dazai?" Tachihara questioned. Chuuya placed a pillow to his face and screamed.

"I don't get it! I'm putting out all the signals, I don't know what more I can do except throw him on my bed and act out every one of my fantasies on him!"

"Dude, I think that counts as sexual harassment,"

"Ya think!"

Anyway, Dazai clearly does not know anything about Chuuya's feelings. We're really earning the Oblivious Dazai tag here.)

"Anyway what's the deal with you, Zai?" Yosano suddenly declared, turning to him.

"What now?" Dazai sighed, resigned to his fate of having insane friends. Maybe he should call up the Yokohama Psych Ward and have Yosano readmitted, it would save him from this conversation and she has clearly lost it. Ranpo and Kunikida would be right at home in there too, probably.

"You're such a manwhore, how come you haven't made a move on Nakahara yet?"

"For the thousandth time, we're just friends!" Dazai ran his fingers through his hair, trying to hold back the urge to strangle his oldest friend. "I'm not going to mess that up for a one night stand, I actually like having him around,"

"Oh please, we've slept together," Yosano dismissed his claims with a wave of her hand.

"You have!" Kunikida spluttered, baffled by the new discovery- oops did he just drop his cup on the floor?

Meh, the blonde would probably clean it up, heaven forbid any of the actual three residents of the apartment actually did any cleaning.

"You didn't know?" Dazai frowned, it wasn't exactly a secret.

"You both agreed that Kunikida would be a pain in the ass about it, so agreed to keep it from him," Ranpo helpfully reminded them.

"Oh right!" Dazai and Yosano nodded at the same time.

"You two have slept together?" In typical Kunikida fashion, the man made made a big deal out of nothing, looking between the two in shock. "How? When? Was this just once? Have either of you slept with Ranpo?"

"Gross!" Ranpo gagged. "Unlike these two I have standards,"

Once again Dazai and Yosano shrugged. They were both of the opinion that sex was sex, it didn't mean anything if you didn't want it to.

"We tried inviting him one time, he looked so disgusted it actually hurt my feelings a little," Dazai whined, leaning back dramatically into the sofa.

"Right, there was no need for you to pull that face, a simple no would have sufficed," Yosano elbowed Ranpo in the side who hissed at her like a feral cat.

"I needed to make my opinion on the matter known so neither of you would ever try again," the feral cat crossed his arms, still eyeing Yosano unhappily.

"S-s-s- making love should only be performed with someone you love and intend to marry," said a very red faced Kunikida.

"You said making love? Are you a child?" Ranpo laughed and ouch, Ranpo calling someone else a child. That had to sting. "Wait no, rhetorical questions are rude, Kunikida you're a child,"

"Spoken like a true virgin," Yosano grinned.

"Give Kunikida a break," Dazai sighed, speaking with a completely serious tone. "It's impossible for him to make love with someone because he already has that stick up his ass,"

As the three spawn's of Satan cackled and poor innocent Kunikida who had the misfortune of befriending them spluttered out his defence, Dazai couldn't help but think about his friend's incessant delusion about his nonexistent love life.

Did he find Chuuya attractive? Yes. But it was impossible not to! With that fiery red hair that matched his explosive temper that was oh so adorable, the way his face reddened so easily, whether he was embarrassed, angry or happy, his sharp canine teeth that just added to his appeal and made his grin so much sharper. There were those freckles, Dazai had to hold back to urge to trace them across his face, kissing them gently, the way Chuuya deserved to be treated. Then, there was his body, he was sculpted like a Greek God, well defined biceps and a very noticeable six pack that Dazai couldn’t help but notice when Chuuya reached for a high shelf and his shirt lifted slightly- not that he was looking! That would be creepy. Okay, maybe he was looking a little, and maybe he almost drooled at the sight- but the point is Chuuya was just his friend. A friend with electric blue eyes that can jump start even Dazai’s cold, dead heart when they focus on him.

Not to mention his ass!

But it didn’t matter, Dazai wasn’t going to ruin a friendship over a one night stand.

As the topic moved on to easier things Dazai tried to ignore the little flutter in his stomach at the thought of Chuuya. Maybe he was getting sick?

“What movie should we watch?” Yosano asked, picking up the remote. They had briefly debated going to a bar for some drinks like normal teenagers would on a Saturday night, but the four were so comfortable that getting up and going out seemed like too much work.

“It can’t be a detective movie, Poe and I are supposed to watch some on our next date night,” came Ranpo’s muffled response as he munched on popcorn.

“Haven’t you seen like every detective movie by now?” Yosano raised her brows at the other man. Ranpo shrugged.

“He said he found some really obscure ones not even I’ve seen,”

“I don’t feel like anything serious anyway,” Dazai chimed in. “Let’s watch something fun!”

“Like Mama Mia?” Kunikida suggested.

“I watched it the other day with Chuuya,” Dazai vetoed.

“You’re saying you doin’t want to rewatch it now?” Ranpo gasped like he has just confessed to murder. Actually that might be more forgivable than not wanting to rewatch Mama Mia.

This started a debate over how long you needed before you could rewatch a movie after seeing it, which spiralled into a debate over what the best movie of all time was which lead to a completely irrelevant debate over food.

In the end they settled on watching How I Met Your Mother, season 4 obviously because the earlier seasons weren’t as good. They made it 5 minutes into an episode before Yosano started complaining about Barney and Robin’s divorce.

“It just shouldn’t have ended like that, you know!” She complained, waving her beer bottle in the air. Oh yeah, they didn’t go to the pub but you don’t need to be out to have a drink. Just like the like that day drinking is bad. Just rules boring people invented.

“That’s what the alternative ending is for,” Ranpo was busy eating a bag of crisps and not drinking, making him the only sober person currently as Dazai had managed to convince Kunikida to drink. He can be very persuasive.

Yosano turned the TV off in a fit of rage, Ranpo then took control of the remote and put on Spy x Family instead. No one complained about this. Dazai then commented how is Kunikida lost the rat tail- sorry he meant ponytail he would look a lot like Loid.

After that Dazai doesn’t really remember much because Yosano got out the shots.

When he woke up, he realised he was not alone.

He was not in his bed and laying besides him, naked, beautiful red hair spread out on the pillow was Chuuya.

What the fuck?

Chapter Text

Now dear readers, I apologise but I, everyone's favourite author, will be taking over the narration of this chapter.

The reason for this is simple. Our two idiots- oh sorry I meant main characters- anyway both of our protagonists were simply too drunk that they in fact blacked out and woke up with no memories of the night before.

What kind of idiots do that? I say like a completely responsible human being who has never done that. Ahem, moving on with the story.

One moment Dazai and his rag tag group of enablers... again I mean friends. Jeez what is with that? Said group was was practically passed out on the floor when Dazai's phone began to ring. If you can see where this going congratulations, yes it was indeed Chuuya. Yes he was indeed drunk dialling him and yes it was a booty call.

Dazai, being the horny eighteen year old that he is answered the phone without thinking much at all.

"Hellooooo~" he slurred, sounding super sober.

"Dazai!" Chuuya cheered on the other end of the call. He was currently outside the club, swaying on his feet and only able to remain standing thanks to the wall. If you're wondering where his friends are, well some are running around like headless chickens looking for him, the other half are too drunk to even notice he's missing. "Did you know you're superrrrr pretty!"

"Chuu thinks I'm pretty?" Dazai blinks, drunkenly smiling like a fool.

"Mmhmm! The prettiest person I've ever met! I love you, you know!" Chuuya confessed.

"Why's that?" Dazai asked, in his inebriated state he had the honesty of a toddler, unable to cover up his usual insecurities with light hearted jokes and lies.

"Because you're amazing! I like being with you, you make me happy, even if you can be kind of annoying sometimes, but that makes me like you even more! There isn't anything I don't love about you, 'Samu!" Chuuya started giggling happily as he rambled.

"You really love me?" Dazai's eyes were wide, an uncharacteristically child like look of wonder painting his expressions.

"Yeah!"

"I like Chuuya too," Dazai whispered lowly. He wasn't ready to say love yet, he wasn't even fully aware of his own feelings but he was completely shit faced so he went with what he felt the most at that current moment in time. And Dazai did like Chuuya, whether platonically or romantically.

"Really?" Chuuya sounded so happy it warmed Dazai's heart.

"Mhmm!" Dazai hummed in agreement. “Where are you right now, Chuuya?”

And Chuuya absolutely loved it when Dazai said his voice, so he started giggling not really paying attention to Dazai’s question, just happy to hear his name out of the other boys lips.

Remember dear readers, for any of you that are squealing because finally we got a confession out of them. I would recommend going back to the beginning of this chapter to refresh your memory of just how drunk these idiots are and how they are not going to remember any of this. Apologies for being this cruel. No I totally do not take pleasure in your suffering, that’s crazy talk. No I’m not laughing like a crazy person writing this, what would give you that idea?

“Chuuuuyaaaa~” Dazai drawled, more like slurred, out the smaller boy’s name. “Where are you?”

“Are you going to come to me?” Chuuya asked, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Yeah, I want to see you,”

“I want to see you too!” Chuuya grinned. “I’m at Tainted,”

“I’ll be there in ten,” Dazai told him before pulling himself up, with the help of the sofa and stumbling over to the door. Almost forgetting to put shoes on. And the shoes he wore pay not have been a matching pair. Tainted was a club only round the corner from Dazai’s apartment, which was totally not for story convenience.

As Dazai stumbled to the club, he walked into a lamppost and almost fell down the stairs on his journey, Chuuya was busy throwing up onto the streets. This is when the bouncer found him and asked him to leave, passing him a drink of water before he left because he was a nice bouncer. An embarrassing moment but one that unfortunately happens to everyone at least once in their life. At least Chuuya didn’t- you know what I think that’s enough stories from me.

They somehow by pure luck managed to run into each other on the streets. The moment Chuuya saw Dazai he grabbed the others face and pulled him in for a kiss, which Dazai immediately responded. It was sloppy and with the taste of alcohol on both of their tongues, but both decided there in that moment that it was best kiss of their lives. At least it didn’t taste like vomit, thank god for that nice bouncer who let Chuuya rinse out his mouth with water.

Dazai realised he could spend eternity kissing Chuuya, for the first time in his life he could see past the next five minutes. He could see a future, one with Chuuya in his arms.

Chuuya was over the moon, he had been wanting to kiss Dazai for so long and for it to finally happen felt like a dream. He was half convinced this was all a drunken hallucination but he didn’t care. He would be happy if he never woke up.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” Chuuya breathed out the moment their lips separated and they gasped for air.

“God yes,” Dazai swooped back in for another kiss.

The walk back to Chuuya’s took longer than the usual twenty minutes, with both of them so inebriated they could barely stand and so horny they kept pushing the other against near by walls to glue their lips together, it took double the time. Both completely forgetting that Dazai lived closer and the only thought going on in either brain was getting to Chuuya’s room.

They did eventually make it, thank god, getting arrested for public indecency is never good. Thankfully I don’t have a story here, although I do know some people who definitely should. Like get up off the club floor. Gross.

The moment they made it to Chuuya’s room, the shorter pushed the taller onto the bed. He fell rather inelegantly, limbs flailing like an octopus but Chuuya didn’t care. He was climbing on top of him in an instant. Legs straddling Dazai and trapping him in, not that he would want to be anywhere else.

They were kissing again, this time more frantically than before. They didn’t have to worry about other people now, they were in the privacy of Chuuya’s room. Chuuya was fumbling with the buttons on Dazai’s shirt, as the brunette left a trail of kisses drown his neck. As Dazai sucked, nipping a little hard into tender skin Chuuya let out a groan, bucking his hips forwards, attempting to create some kind of friction. Dazai moaned, the sound rumbling into Chuuya’s neck and it spurred the ginger on as he rolled his hips again.

“Dazai-“ Chuuya panted and Dazai bit a little harder into his neck making Chuuya hiss.

“Osamu,” Dazai said. “Call me Osamu,”

Dazai pulled away, ignoring Chuuya’s whimper of protest and tugged at Chuuya’s shirt, it took a few seconds for the other to understand but in the end he obediently lifted up his arms.

Once Chuuya was topless, Dazai took a moment just to look over him. It was no secret Chuuya had a nice body, he has seen enough to know the smaller boy was incredibly toned and Dazai quite frankly was looking forwards to Chuuya manhandling him at some point. But for now, he grabbed Chuuya’s hips and threw him onto the bed besides him, crawling over so he was on top this time.

“Is this okay?” Dazai asked, a speck of lucidity coming back to him seeing Chuuya on the bed like this. Consent was important and he wasn’t going to do anything without the other’s express agreement.

“That’s a stupid question,” Chuuya’s scoffed, frown softening as Dazai’s hands stroked his hips.

“Chuuya,” Dazai whispered into his ear. “I’m going to need you to verbally consent here,”

“Or what?” Chuuya bit back, defiance fierce in his eyes.

“Then I’ll leave,” Dazai shrugged, hand wandering further down than his hip and cupping his groin. Chuuya moaned as he palmed the bulge. “You will just have to take care of your little problem all by yourself~”

“You’re so annoying,” Chuuya grumbled.

“But you love me~” Dazai grinned.

“…” Chuuya didn’t respond for a moment and Dazai stilled his hand. Chuuya bit his lip, his face turning redder as he debated the pros and cons of what he was about to say. “Please fuck me, Osamu,”

Dazai blinked. A second passed and then the brunette swooped down for another kiss. His lips moving as though this would be his last action on this earth, and as far as Dazai was concerned if this was the last thing he did in his pointless life then he could die satisfied. Hearing Chuuya say his name like that, it was everything.

“All I wanted was a simple yes,” Dazai chuckled and Chuuya flushed again. “But I much prefer your version of giving consent.”

“Shut up already,” Chuuya rolled his eyes. “And take off your clothes already,”

“Yessir,” Dazai nodded, backing away and taking off his short. It was already unbuttoned from Chuuya’s handiwork earlier. As he worked on shimmying off his pants and boxers Chuuya did the same. Soon they were both fully naked and kissing again.

Chuuya’s hand wrapped itself around Dazai’s cock, his fingers soft and warm, and he slowly stroked up and down the length, listening to Dazai groans. When Dazai placed his own hand over Chuuya’s, stopping him from his actions blue eyes looked up in confusion.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong baby,” Dazai reassured him. “I just want to suck you off, make you feel good, can I?”

Chuuya’s breath caught in his throat as he looked up at Dazai. God, he was so beautiful like this. His cheeks slightly red and looking down at Chuuya with reverence. “Yes, please god,”

“My names Osamu, but thank you anyway,” Dazai chuckled, eyes glinting with amusement. He shuffled down so his face was level with Chuuya’s own cock. Chuuya tangled his hands in fluffy brown hair and pulled for that comment. Dazai, the bastard, had the nerve to moan at that. “That wasn’t very nice, sweetheart, I’ll have you know I’m not a fan of pain,”

“That moan suggested otherwise,” Chuuya retorted. Gasping as Dazai’s hand wrapped around Chuuya’s mini Chuuya. His hand was much bigger than Chuuya’s own hands, practically engulfing him. Not that Chuuya was small, not by any means.

“That’s only because you did it, Chuuya,” Dazai smirked. “I enjoy everything you do,”

“You’re so-“ he was cut off by Dazai taking him in his mouth. He was hot and wet and the way he sucked at Chuuya drove him crazy.

When you combined Dazai’s skilful mouth and the way his hand was circling his hips, fiddling with his balls, everywhere over him, making him feel so good. Chuuya came in a matter of minutes.

He came with a cry, practically screaming, body spamming with uncontrollable waves if pleasure. Dazai kept going, letting Chuuya verge on over pleasure, his dick bordering on painful with how sensitive it felt. Dazai finally pulled off, before it became too much, somehow knowing how much Chuuya could handle. He shuffled back up to kiss Chuuya again, the redhead could taste his own come on Dazai’s tongue, it was bitter but he didn’t mind.

They kissed for a while until Chuuya stopped. Dazai pulled away and looked down. Chuuya had fallen asleep, with all the alcohol he consumed that night, combined with the fatigue after an orgasm, he fell asleep rather peacefully, feeling completely spent.

Dazai blinked down. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty exhausted too. Suddenly, his limbs felt heavy and he laid down besides Chuuya. Maybe the Chibi was right, a nap was definitely needed.

And there you have it, dear readers, the events leading up to the them waking up in bed together.

By the time Chuuya woke up Dazai was already spiralling.

“What the fuck?” He muttered. His voice startled Dazai, who flinched back in shock. The brunette’s face turned impossibly blank and he looked around the room, eyes landing on his clothes thrown into a heap in the corner.

Chuuya thought he was going to get dressed and rush out but against all his expectations the other simply grabbed a book out of his pockets and opened it up.

“What. The. Fuck.” Chuuya repeated.

Seriously what was going on right now?

Chapter Text

Chuuya didn’t want to sound creepy but waking up next to a naked Dazai was basically a dream come true for him.

Having the man sit naked on his floor was something of a blessing and a curse because sure Dazai was here naked in his room but he also hadn’t responded to Chuuya in five minutes, eyes focused solely on the book in front of him. It was as if he couldn’t hear Chuuya, didn’t even register his presence in the room.

Another ten minutes later Chuuya got up to go have a shower.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do in this situation but after half an hour Chuuya was starting to get a little concerned. Okay, more than a little concerned, he was on the verge of having a panic attack himself.

So, he did what any sensible person in his shoes would do. Call for help.

“Tachi,” he hissed into his phone as quietly as possible. He didn’t know what Dazai could and couldn’t hear and didn’t want to make him feel bad.

“Dude, Chuuya, man I love you but you cannot call me at 8 am, it is way too early for this shit,” came Tachihara’s very helpful response. “I’m way too hungover for this, fuck man I think I’m gonna throw up,”

“Sorry but I am freaking out right now,” Chuuya said but all he heard was footsteps and heaving. Okay, so Tachihara was lying when he said he was going to vomit. Good to know.

Chuuya had his own problems to deal with, so while maybe it was a little heartless to not check his best friend would be okay, he hung up the phone. Tachihara has been hungover plenty of times, he would be fine.

Actually why did Chuuya feel so fine? Weird.

That was when he realised Yosano and Dazai have been friends for years. He immediately called her hoping she would be more helpful than Tachihara.

“Hello?” Came a half dead voice that was unmistakably Yosano.

“Help me, why is Dazai just reading and not responding to anything I say!” Chuuya almost yelled.

“What? Who is this?” Oh great, Yosano sounded like she was still a little drunk. Unlike Chuuya who just woke up feeling amazing all on his own. Oh fuck.

Well that realisation was a bitch. He would deal with his inevitable headache later, right now he was a little unsteady on his feet and in need of answers.

“It’s Chuuya!”

“Chuuya? With the phenomenal ass?”

“Yes that’s me! Thank you for noticing, I’m actually really proud of it,” Chuuya grinned, happy that people noticed how good he looked form behind.

“We all noticed, I think Dazai especially likes it,”

“Really!” Chuuya almost began to fangirl until he remembered the reason why he called. “Dazai! Right, he’s reading in the corner of my room and not responding to anything,”

“He’s just having a meltdown, leave him alone he’ll come back eventually,” Yosano muttered, sounding like she was about to go back to sleep. “When life becomes a little too much for him to handle he dissociates by disappearing into a book, haven’t you noticed he always carried one on him? That’s why. Reality is just easier to hide from when he can become part of another world,”

“Wait really? How do you know all this?”

“He told me when we at that mental ward together,” Yosano yawned. “I tried to burn my foster family alive in a fire, Dazai tried to kill himself, we really bonded,”

“Wait you what?!” Chuuya shrieked because what the fuck?

Who casually just drops that bombshell!?

“Just give him some time, he’ll be back and you can talk about whatever the hell you like, now I feel like shit I’m gonna sleep,” Yosano declared before hanging up the phone.

Okay. What. the. fuck.

Now that Chuuya looked at him more closely, he could see scars under the loose bandages all over Dazai’s body. He had wondered about those bandages before but always assumed he would never get a straight answer. Now he had that answer and he felt sick to his stomach.

Wait.

Chuuya made a run for the toilet. So yeah, maybe it wasn’t just the scars making him feel ill. Not that the scars were ugly, not at all. What made him feel was the fact that Dazai felt the need to do that to himself.

Why couldn’t he see how amazing he was?

Chuuya would need to revisit this train of thought later as he hugged the toilet seat.

By the time Chuuya returned to his room Dazai was sitting on his bed, dressed in his shirt and underwear, hugging the book tightly to his chest.

“Dazai?” Chuuya blinked in confusion, temporarily stunned at seeing him no longer in the corner. “Holy shit, are you okay? You really freaked me out there,”

Dazai simply nodded, shrinking away from Chuuya a little.

"Are you sure..." Chuuya asked again before suddenly realising what was wrong. "Oh. You regret this, don’t you? Sorry, I don’t really remember anything from last night but I’m assuming- it’s alright if you’re regretting it right now,"

Dazai turns to him with a desperate expression on his face and frantically shakes his head. Chuuya didn’t really understand what that meant, or why Dazai wasn’t speaking when it was usually impossible to shut him up, but forces a smile.

"It's cool, we were both pretty drunk, I honestly don’t even remember us meeting up," Chuuya felt his heart breaking, they were both naked and woke up in the same bed. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened last night and if this is how Dazai reacted to the idea of them, well it was a pretty clear rejection. Dazai opened his mouth, as though trying to say something but no words come out. "Dazai?”

Dazai reached out, grabbing Chuuya’s hands in his own, shaking his head and squeezing Chuuya’s hand like a lifeline.

"Dazai... are you having trouble speaking?" Chuuya questioned carefully. Dazai looked down at the ground as though ashamed, before nodding slightly. "Oh."

Dazai flinched, retreating away from Chuuya and holding up the book as a shield.

"Dazai," Chuuya tried softly but the brunette began to shake.

He opened the book again, shaky hands fumbling a little as he does this, and begins to read.

Well shit.

Back to square one.

Chuuya went into the kitchen to make himself a coffee while he waited, hoping it would do something about the headache he was starting to feel. He made one for Dazai too, placing it careful on the table besides the bed before retreating to his desk to wait.

He must have fallen asleep because one minute he was in the chair watching Dazai, the next he was on the floor, rubbing his throbbing head.

Dazai looked up from the book, as though he had forgotten the world outside his book existed. He blinked a few times before tilting his head to the side, staring at Chuuya, still on the floor.

"Chuuya?" He spoke and Chuuya almost wanted to cry with relief.

"You're speaking again," Chuuya sighed in relief. Dazai flinched slightly but nodded.

"Sorry about that," he mumbled, he never closed his book, eyes flickered down to the words as if trying to decide whether or not it was worth staying in reality. Eventually he decided to look at Chuuya again. "I don’t,"

"You don’t what?" Chuuya blinked, confused by his sudden words.

"Regret... what happened..." Dazai awkwardly huddled in further. “I’m not really sure what happened either, but I don’t regret whatever did,”

"Oh." Chuuya said. "Me neither," was all he could say, his brain had effectively stopped working, all he could hear was himself mentally screaming.

"You've probably noticed by now that I'm not exactly... present... a lot of the time," Dazai took a deep breath before continuing. "I always carrying a book on me in case... well it helps me to know that it’s there,"

"Dazai," Chuuya said gently. "You dont need to explain anything to me," he pretty much already got the story from Yosano anyway.

"I know I don’t but I would like to... see you again," Chuuya felt his cheeks heat up at that, even if he felt bad at his joy seeing at how Dazai was struggling to explain. "But I don’t want you to go into anything not having the correct information, unless you wanted this to just be a one night stand,"

"I don’t want this to be a one time thing," Chuuya blurted out and Dazai eyes widened before he smiled softly.

"Me either, which is why I need to explain," Dazai clutched his books, his hands trembling. "I have trouble staying in reality, I like to retreat into my mind which can be hard to break myself out of, books help because while I’m not exactly present I still have a sort of physical tie to this world... it’s trauma response apparently, a coping mechanism, the details aren't exactly important but you should know this... if this changes your mind about- well I understand,"

Chuuya has never seen Dazai struggle so much with his words. The literature student always seemed to know exactly what to say all the time. This shy, insecure Dazai reminded him of the Dazai that he first met. The introverted bookworm he initially took him for, before realising how confident he could be around his friends.

Chuuya wasn’t exactly great with his words, he always preferred actions anyway. That’s why he strode over to where Dazai was sitting before leaning down. When he saw no sign of rejection in the other he gave him a short kiss. It was so brief that it was barely a peck but he liked to think it got the message across.

“I don’t mind,” he smiled, in what he hope looked reassuring. “I already knew you were a huge bookworm anyway, this doesn’t really change much, I’m happy to do things as slowly as you want, I won’t change my mind,”

The expression Dazai had when he looked at Chuuya held so much awe that Chuuya felt his cheeks heat up.

“For now I think we should get some more sleep, I feel like crap,” he deflected jumping into his bed besides Dazai who obediently laid down besides him.

Chuuya was asleep in minutes.

(The next day:

Chuuya: me and Dazai started dating!

Tachihara: congrats man!

Dazai: I think Chuuya and I just became friends with benefits.

Yosano: what happened to just friends?

Ranpo: you absolute idiot.

What you guys didn’t think it would be that easy for these idiots to get together? Oh please, you guys should already know I’m not that nice.)

Chapter Text

"Good morning Chuuya!" Dazai greeted as he walked through the coffee shops doors.

Now you would think after becoming closer and they talk the other day (even though they both came out of it with wildly different sense of what their relationship is) that Chuuya would have evolved form his simp phase.

You would be incorrect.

In fact after everything that happened Chuuya may just be worse because now he has hope. An absolutely horrible thing to have when you're crushing but little Chuuya is filled with it.

So upon seeing Dazai for the first time since their talk Chuuya immediately tripped over, spilled the drink he was in the middle of making all over himself while letting out an odd noise that sounded like an 'eep' and a 'gahhh' at the same time. I'm not sure how but Chuuya is clearly talented at being an odd little duckling.

"Are you alright there?" Dazai asked, making a clear effort not to laugh which Chuuya appreciated.

"I'm fine," was the very untrue response that came out of the redhead.

He was in fact not fine.

He was mortified.

"Are you sure-"

"You saw nothing. I am fine. Nothing happened."

"... okay,"

Chuuya chose to ignore the way Dazai covered his face, clearly laughing at his expense.

"Your usual?" Chuuya chose to say instead of throwing what little remaining coffee was in the cup he was still holding at Dazai's stupidly pretty face.

"Yes please, chibi~"

Chuuya let him get away with calling him that. Because he was working not because he would literally let Dazai get away with murdering his entire family. No way.

He would obviously be a little mad if Dazai killed his family, he'd probably forgive him if he apologised though. But that's not the point.

So Chuuya got started on Dazai's drink while the brunette waited at the counter instead of taking his usual table. This - Chuuya decided - was his chance!

"So are you doing anything tonight?" Chuuya wondered, trying to hide how desperately he hoped Dazai was free.

"It's movie night tonight," Dazai replied, immediately destroying any and all hopes Chuuya had of spending the night with Dazai. "Kunikida-kun and Atsushi-kun are coming over and we're watching all the Hunger Game movies,"

"Ah, really sounds fun," Chuuya said, hoping he didn't sound as dead as he felt inside.

"Does Chuuya want to come?"

"What?"

They stood there staring at each other for a moment.

"Are you busy tonight?" Dazai asked, awkwardly moving on from Chuuya's outburst.

"Ah no... I'm free,"

"Then do you not want to come?"

"No, I want to, I just didn't expect you to invite me,"

Chuuya tried not to be disappointed that it wouldn't just be him and Dazai. He liked his friends, he really did, but he would have preferred it to be just the two of them.

……

When Ranpo opened the door for Chuuya he did not expect the hear the fire alarm going off.

Nor did he expect to see Dazai frantically waving a blanket at a flame, when the blanket caught on fire and Dazai starts running around in a panic until Yosano grabs the blanket and throws it in the sink, turning on the water. At this moment a blonde man Chuuya has never seen before in his life runs into the room with a fire extinguisher and put out the… holy shit is that a microwave? Who manages to set a microwave that on fire???

The blonde turns to the group with a stern expression on his face. Then he sighs.

“This is the fifth time this month,” he states. The room is silent.

Then Dazai points at Ranpo and declares. “It was was his fault this time!”

“No way! You’re the one who said the higher the temperature the quicker they will cook!”

“Yes but you’re the one who thought putting the popcorn in a metal bowl would be a good idea!”

“Akiko is the one who told us to make our own popcorn!”

“What? Don’t drag me into this because you autistic idiots don’t know to use a fucking microwave!” Yosano argued.

“Excuse me! Unlike Dazai I am not diagnosed, do not place me in the same category as him!”

“Oh please, everyone who has ever met you immediately knows you have autism, I have no idea how you managed to go this long undiagnosed,”

“Okay first of all rude, second of all RUDE!” Was Dazai’s offended cry.

“Would you three shut up, you’re scaring Atsushi, again!” The blonde screeched so loud Chuuya had to cover his ears. That was also the moment he noticed the white haired boy hiding in the corner of the room.

“I think you’re the one scaring him with all that yelling, we’re a fucking delight,” Dazai grumbled.

“And what about who I assume to be Nakahara over there by the door?” At this Dazai and Yosano’s heads turned to look at him in surprise.

“When did he get there?” Dazai asked.

“I let him in,” Ranpo supplied helpfully.

“Oh god, did he see me with the blanket?” Dazai hissed, burying his face in his hands.

“No I didn’t,” Chuuya said in an attempt to spare his feelings.

At the same time Ranpo declared, “yup!”

“God, if you’re real, please smite me down,” was the brunette’s over dramatic response.

“You must be Nakahara Chuuya,” the blonde walked over and held out a hand for Chuuya to shake. “My name is Kunikida Doppo, it’s a pleasure, I’ve heard a lot about you,”

“Yeah because Dazai won’t shut up about him!” Yosano helpfully called out.

Dazai tackled her to the ground trying to cover her mouth while Ranpo cheered, “fight, fight, fight!”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too,” Chuuya shook his hand as Yosano bit Dazai’s hand.

“Ow! You animal!”

“You attacked me first!”

“You deserved it!”

“That is enough!” Kunikida bellowed and everyone in the room froze. “Now Dazai, go coax Atsushi out from the corner while I turn the movie on,”

“Yes!” Dazai sighed, standing up and walking slowly over to the corner Atsushi was still hiding in.

“Ranpo, you sit completely still and don’t move a muscle, Akiko, you come help me in the kitchen, Nakahara would you mind keeping an eye on Ranpo,”

To Chuuya’s surprise everyone actually obeyed Kunikida and did as they were told, which lead to Chuuya sitting with Ranpo in the sofa listening to him complain about the disrespect he faces. They were joined a few minutes later by Dazai and a successfully coaxed out the corner Atsushi.

Once they all settled down and watched the movie it was much less chaotic. The snacks that were prepared (including healthy options that no one other than Kunikida touched) were gone pretty quickly and Yosano’s suggestion of pulling out alcohol was denied by Kunikida.

All in all, despite the baffling start it ended up being a fun evening.

When it was time for everyone to leave Dazai stopped Chuuya at the door.

“I forgot to mention I wont be around this weekend,” he explained, scratching his head a little awkwardly.

Chuuya tried not to let his disappointment show too much. “Oh, why is that?” He asked.

“I’m going home to visit my family, I’ll be back Tuesday,” Dazai told him and Chuuya managed to smile.

“Thanks for letting me know,”

“I just felt like I should,” Dazai shrugged. “Well see you soon, Chuuya,”

“Yeah, bye,” Chuuya waved as he closed the door behind him.

He sighed. A weekend without Dazai would probably suck.

Chapter Text

“Damnit,”

Dazai cussed as he felt around in his pockets, convinced he had put his key in there before he left his apartment that morning. He wanted to scream when all his pockets were empty.

With no other choice, he knocked on the door.

He mentally sighed as he heard the yelling and screaming and banging on the other side of the door, this was going to take a lot of energy, wasn’t it?

The door flew open with a bang and five small bodies tumbled out, Dazai quickly caught them already having expected this.

“Osamu-nii!” Sakura beamed up at him from where she laying on top of Katsumi. “Welcome home!”

“Yeah,” Dazai leant down to scoop the four year old up in his arms. “Good to be home,” she immediately made herself at home, snuggling up on his neck and Dazai just let her, already used to her affection.

At first he would freeze up, unsure of what to do but now he was better at reciprocating. Not that there wasn’t still a voice in the back of his head screaming at him to put her down, to not taint her innocence with his dirty hands.

If he did put her down though it was likely he would be met with a temper tantrum and he couldn’t bare to see her cry.

“Not fair, pick me up to!” Shinji complained, rolling out of the still pile on the floor and throwing himself at Dazai.

The brunette simply pinched the boy’s cheeks. “You’re too heavy,”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, I think someone’s been eating too much sweets,” he teased, poking Shinji’s stomach. Sakura, bless her heart, just giggled. “Have you been behaving?” He turned to the other three boys who had picked themselves up off the floor already.

“Of course!” Kosuke, the oldest and by far the biggest troublemaker, held out a thumbs up. Somehow Dazai doubted his words.

“You almost set fire to the kitchen yesterday,” Yu reminded him.

“That wasn’t my fault, Katsumi promised he would keep watch on the oil for me!” Kosuke defended himself.

“Hmm? I wasn’t listening to you, you should know this by now,” Katsumi shrugged, seemingly unbothered by his part in the almost kitchen fire.

Dazai clapped his hands, effectively stopping the arguing and putting all the attention on himself. “Alright kiddos, where’s Odasaku?”

“He’s in the garage, the kitchen sinks leaking again,” Yu informed him, pointing in the direction of the garage. “I keep telling him he should just call a professional, he clearly has no idea what he’s doing,”

“You know Odasaku, always trying to save money,” Dazai grinned. “Now scooch, let me in,”

The kids seemed to realise they were still in the doorway and Dazai was still patiently waiting on the step waiting for them to move. Instead of moving like considerate children, all four stuck their tongues out at him and formed a barrier.

Exhausting, Dazai thought fondly.

He placed Sakura down, giving her a small head pat as she whined, before turning to the four boys with a smirk.

“Do you really think you can take me on?” He grinned.

“Charge!” Kosuke yelled and they ran out him with a battle cry. Dazai effortlessly side stepped Kosuke, grabbed Katsumi’s arm and used him as a human shield from Shinji. Yu was trickier, for an 8 year old he sure was intelligent. Unfortunately for him, Dazai was smarter.

He ran over, threw Yu over his shoulder and ran inside, where Sakura was already dragging his backpack into the house.

She was his angel, his absolute favourite of the gremlins.

He couldn’t run forever though, eventually as he made it into the living room the little monster caught up to him. Barrelling straight into him from behind, Dazai folded like paper and crashed to the floor. He made sure to protectively grab onto Yu as he fell, he didn’t want him to hit his head.

Next thing he knew all four boys were on top of him, smiling in victory.

“Alright, alright, I give up,” Dazai conceded, it came out a little strained form the weight of the gremlins. The four shared a look before grinning wider and oh no. Dazai had a bad feeling.

They all raised their hands and started wiggling their fingers. They were going to tickle him.

“Hey now!” Dazai started desperately thrashing. He had to escape. “Let’s not be hasty, we can talk this out,”

“Nuh-uh, we caught we, you know the rules,” Shinji, the little brat, practically sang.

As four pairs of little hands inched closer and Dazai resigned to his fate, he was saved. But as they say, he was out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“Whose Chuuya?” Sakura asked, holding up Dazai’s phone and looking at his messages.

“Wha- does privacy not mean anything to you!” Dazai spluttered. All four had jumped up and ran over to read the messages now. Dazai was free, but at what cost.

“Your privacy? Not really,” was Yu’s brutal reply.

“Ooh, he’s pretty,” Katsumi commented, “I like his hair,”

“Is he your boyfriend, Osamu-nii,” Sakura asked, looking at him with her wide, innocent eyes and how could Dazai refuse her.

“He is… something like that,” he winced at his own words. Technically, they were just friends but they were also friends with benefits and he did not know how to explain that to a four year old.

“You got a boyfriend!” Katsumi cheered.

“You got a boyfriend?” Yu raised his eyebrows, putting a little too much emphasis on the word you and it stung a little.

“Call him,” Kosuke suggested, pressing the call button.

“Wait don’t call-“ but it was too late the phone was ringing.

Within seconds Chuuya answered.

“Dazai? Is something wrong-“ came Chuuya’s voice through the speakers.

“Woah he really is pretty,” Sakura interrupted whatever Chuuya was saying.

“Why would he settle for Osamu-nii? He must have terrible taste,” was Yu.

“Maybe Osamu-nii tricked him into it, he can be clever when he wants to,” came from Shinji.

“Maybe he was a horrible personality so the only person who would date him is Osamu-nii, he also has a horrible personalities, you now,” by the time Katsumi had commented Dazai was ready to die.

“Nah, I bet it’s blackmail,” Kosuke informed them. “He probably found dirt on Chuuya and forced him to date him,”

“Ohhhhhh,” was the unanimous agreement that Kosuke’s theory was correct.

“I did no such thing! And we aren’t dating!” Dazai screeched, snatching his phone back. Looking at the screen he realised the little brats had FaceTimed Chuuya. The redhead was blankly staring at the screen, looking baffled and a little red faced. But maybe that was just the awful camera quality. “Sorry about that, you know how siblings can be,”

“Uh Dazai what-“

“I’ll call you back later, I have to deal with the gremlins,” Dazai told him, side eyeing the trouble makers who were acting so innocent like they hadn’t just ruined Dazai’s entire life and now he was going to have to move to a new country to get away from the embarrassment of having them call Chuuya his boyfriend to his face. “Bye, Chuuya, sorry,”

He quickly hung up and put his phone in his pocket where it would hopefully be safe.

He should of changed his password but he had forgotten. Damn, he wasn’t going to let Sakura play games on his phone anymore.

“Oh, Dazai, you’re back,” before righteous vengeance could be served Oda walked in, taking in the view before sighing. “What do you do to your brother this time?”

“We didn’t do anything!” All five of them protested at the same time Dazai declared, “They invaded my privacy!”

This lead to an argument until Oda finally had enough, stepping in and sending the kids away.

“So how long are you back for?” Odasaku asked, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was fighting off a headache. “Not that we don’t want you here, just the kids get so excited when you’re back,”

“And they’re all secretly demon spawn hell bent on making our lives miserable?” Dazai guessed his next words, although judging by the sigh Oda let out maybe his guess wasn’t exactly accurate.

“I was going to say their energetic enough without the excitement,”

“Meh, mine was truer,” Dazai shrugged. “To answer your question, I’m just back for the weekend, got to get back by Tuesday,”

“Are you planning on visiting your uncle too?” Oda asked curiously.

“Yeah, I have dinner plans with him tonight,” Dazai nodded, checking the time. “I’ve got a couple hours till I need to be there though,”

“Alright so I don’t need to make an extra portion tonight,” Oda spoke a little more to himself than Dazai. “You’ll have dinner with us tomorrow night though, right?”

“Of course! How could I miss an opportunity to eat your famous curry?” Dazai grinned dramatically. Oda huffed affectionately, patting him on the head with a smile. “Good to have you back again, even if it is just for a couple nights,”

Dazai smiled back. “Good to be home, Odasaku,”

…..

A few hours and a shower later, Dazai was standing outside the familiar house.

He didn’t come round too often anymore, not just because of school but because it hurt. Every time he visited he was attacked by memories of a happier time.

“Osamu,” Mori Ougai opened the door with a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though. His smile hadn’t reached his eyes in three years.

“Uncle,” Dazai greeted. Mori stepped aside, letting Dazai into the house. As soon as he did he was surrounded by a familiar smell. “Wait isn’t this-“ he turned to Mori with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it was her favourite meal, we’ve got to move on some time, we can’t stay trapped in the past forever,” Mori spoke, his voice sad but he sounded better than he had last time Dazai had visited him.

“You’re sober,” Dazai noticed, taking in how put together Mori was. He clothes were ironed, his hair was washed and most importantly he didn’t reek.

“Eight months, I haven’t relapsed since you last saw me three months ago,”

Wow. That was the longest Mori had gone without a relapse. Dazai almost felt hope that it wouldn’t happen again.

As he followed him into the living room he froze.

It wasn’t exactly how it looked three years ago, but considering how barren it was three months ago the change was jarring.

“I told you,” Mori spoke, sensing his shock. “I need to move on and stop hiding from her memory,”

Dazai couldn’t move his eyes away from the photos decorating the walls once again, all in new frames considering how the old ones were smashed years ago.

Elise looked so happy in all of them. Eleven truly was far too young an age to be taken, if she were still here today they would be celebrating her fifteen birthday in a few months.

“Holy shit,”

Mori was serious this time.

It felt a little late, considering how Dazai was now eighteen, nearly nineteen, an adult. He didn’t need a guardian anymore. But still, it was nice to know his uncle was hurting less, god knows they both took her death hard.

Maybe Dazai could get better too, the thought was weird as he clutched his book tighter.

Chapter Text

When Mori Ougai received the call, he didn’t know what to do.

He hadn’t seen his sister in almost eleven years, not since she ran away and eloped with the (much older) man who impregnated her when she was only twenty.

They had never been overly close, so her absence hadn’t affected him too much. Still she was his sister, and news of her death was a shock to him.

When he arrived at the police station he was informed of her cause of death. Her husband had beaten her to death.

The man was currently in custody and the one sole witness to the murder was in the break room.

The police had warned him that he might be in shock, considering how he had not spoken a word since his arrival at the station. Mori nodded, feeling weirdly anxious.

He opened the door to the break room and there, for the first time, he laid eyes on his nephew. A ten year old, staring blankly forwards without a single emotion on his face.

As a doctor Mori would argue he had seen a lot, but seeing such a look on a young child’s face, on his nephew’s face, it hurt. He was unsure about what to do, if this was his job it would be simple, he could remain a professional distance between patient and doctor. This, however, was not just a job. Oh god, he wished this could just be another job to him.

As he took the boy in, he noticed the bandages and the bruises. It was likely his mother wasn’t the only victim in that house.

“Hey there,” Mori spoke carefully, kneeling in front of him carefully. The boy didn’t even flinch. Two empty eyes, flickered down to glance at him before focussing back on the wall.

It was at this moment, Mori realised he didn’t even know his own nephew’s name. A deep shame began to take root. He had no way of knowing his sister’s whereabouts, but what if he had tried to find her. Could he of changed her fate? Would he know his own nephew’s name?

Or would it still have ended up this way?

“My name is Mori Ougai,” he introduced, trying to keep his smile kind. “I’m you uncle,”

This seemed to catch the child’s attention as his gaze once again turned on him, this time the child examined him curiously.

“Can you tell me your name?” Mori asked, hoping to drag the boy from whatever it was that kept him so still, so lifeless. If it weren’t for his shallow breathing Mori could almost believe he was talking to a corpse.

“If you are my uncle, shouldn’t you know that?”

That stung, for multiple reasons. Firstly, he was right, Mori had no right really to call himself the boy’s family other than a flimsy blood tie. It felt like a joke to him as well. Secondly, the boy’s voice was so monotone, empty. It made Mori think this boy may not have felt a speck of joy in the ten years he has been on this earth.

At least now, Mori knew he could talk.

“That is… a little complicated, we’ve never met for certain reasons, so I’ve never had the pleasure of learning your name,” he tried to explain, but how much would a ten year old understand?

“Because my mother ran away from her family?” The child’s head tilted to the side slightly as he spoke.

“You know about that?” Mori asked, a little shocked.

“She used to scream that at me, saying it was all my fault,” he said simply as though his words weren’t a cause for concern.

“She shouldn’t of done that,” Mori’s voice was firm, the boy blinked slowly as if trying to process his words. “She made her own choices, you have done nothing wrong by being born, in fact I would argue it’s a blessing,”

“A blessing?”

“Yes,”

“Me?”

“That’s right,”

“Oh,” the boy bit his lip, a conflicted look crossing his face for a moment and it was the most emotion Mori had seen yet. “Is that the normal way to think about a child?”

“It should be the only way we think about our children,” he replied.

“Dazai Osamu,” the boy introduced. “That’s my name,”

…..

After a little more information was given, Mori realised the man who beat his sister to death wasn’t Dazai’s father. That man had abandoned the two before Dazai could even walk.

His sister had been married twice after that. Her third husband was the one to end her life.

…..

The first week of Dazai living with him, it was just the two of them. Elise was staying with her mother while Mori got his nephew adjusted to life in his new home.

While Mori had full custody of his daughter, his ex-wife still dropped by for visits whenever she saw fit. The selfish bitch didn’t even consider how her constantly cancelling or showing up late (when she actually bothered to) would affect Elise. All that mattered was her own new life.

To be honest, Mori was nervous about Elise staying at her apartment.

Even so, Dazai was undergoing a stressful transition and Elise was rather outgoing, Mori didn’t want to do anything that might scare the boy. He hardly saw him as it was, he spent all his time in his room, only coming down when Mori called him for dinner or lunch. He would sit there, only eat when Mori told him to and only took a few bites before pushing the plate over to Mori as if he would want his food.

“You know I made this meal for you,” Mori sighed after five days of the same strange behaviour. “It’s yours, I’m not going to take it away,”

“It’s mine?” Dazai frowned down at the plate.

“Yes, I made my own plate didn’t I? I don’t need your food too,”

“Oh,”

That night Dazai ate over half his food. It was the most Mori had ever seen him eat.

…..

“Your cousin will be returning tomorrow,”

“My cousin?”

“My daughter, Elise, she’s six years old,”

“I understand, I can sleep on the floor,”

“She had her own room, she doesn’t need your room,”

“Oh…”

….

“So you’re Osamu!”

Dazai stared down at this odd creature before him. With red, round, chubby cheeks and sparkling blue eyes, Elise was the picture of a happy child.

So what did something so innocent want with him?

“That’s me,” he nodded, eyeing the hand she was holding out at him curiously.

“And you’re my cousin,”

“That would be my understanding,”

“…”

“…”

What was happening? Dazai didn’t understand what that look meant. He had been struggling to understand the rules of his new life, unwilling to cross any boundaries and risk upsetting Uncle Mori.

He liked it here, Mori never hit him and he never went to bed with an empty stomach. He didn’t want to change that.

Now with this new creature in the equation, he was back to square one.

Was he even allowed to talk to her?

He remembered his mother screaming at him for speaking to a neighbour’s child before. She had slapped him too, saying he didn’t deserve to speak to others.

The girl had been crying, she had lost her favourite stuffed toy. Dazai had found it under the stairs and she had thanked him with a hug. It was the first hug he had ever received.

“Osamu-nii!” Elise suddenly declared, snapping Dazai out of his thoughts. He blinked, confused by her outburst. “That’s what I will call you from now on, Osamu-nii,”

She was smiling up at him and Dazai didn’t quite know what to do.

“If you want,” he settled on.

Mori didn’t look angry by the interaction, so he assumed it was okay for him to speak to her.

…..

For weeks now Elise has been following him around, chatting non-stop and refusing to leave him alone. She even started sneaking into his bed and declaring it a sleepover.

Dazai didn’t know what to do.

He wasn’t used to anyone giving him this much attention, everyone in his old life only seemed to remember he existed when he was bad and needed to be punished, Mori gave him space and left him alone for the most part. Why did Elise insist on this behaviour?

The few times he responds to her she lights up like he has given her a present. It was disconcerting.

“Lets have a tea party today!”

She burst into his room where he was reading in peace. Mori had allowed him to borrow some books to read. It was nice, before he used to sneak one of the three books his mother owned upstairs and would struggle to read under the moonlight once she went to sleep in fear he would be caught.

“…” Dazai watched her curiously as she threw the giant teddy bears she brought with her to the ground before running off again.

She returned a few moments later carrying teacups and a teapot.

“Come here!” She demanded, patting the ground next to her. Without a word Dazai stood and made his way over.

As Elise explained to him the mechanics behind a tea party Dazai paid close attention, fearful that if he got anything wrong he might upset her.

By the end of it Elise seemed to be happy. Dazai wasn’t entirely sure he had mastered the art of the tea party but at least he didn’t ruin it for her.

…..

“What do you do all day?” Elise asked, jumping into bed with him without bothering to ask for his permission.

“Read,” he answered simply, more comfortable with speaking with her now.

“Is that all?” She frowned. “I don’t like reading much, it’s boring,”

Dazai didn’t know what to say back to that.

“Read to me,” Elise demanded, snuggling up close to him, Dazai let her, repositioning his book so he could read it with her in his arms.

He didn’t want her to get bored if he just read it normally out loud. Come to think of it, one time at school there was a guest who read to all the children in a silly voice.

Maybe he should try that.

Elise started giggling as he read to her and Dazai’s reading became more and more dramatic as he became more comfortable with the silly voices he used.

After this Dazai would sometimes speak in a silly voice to Elise, trying to put my emotion into his words. It always made her laugh.

This made Dazai smile.

…..

On his first day at a new school since he had started living with Mori, Elise held his hand and gave him one of her special candies she saves for special occasions only.

When Dazai made his first friend, no one was happier for him than Elise.

Whenever Kunikida came round for sleepovers Elise would excitedly suggest fun things for the three of them to do.

When Elise’s own mother once again failed to show up, Dazai hugged her while she cried.

It was Elise who demanded Mori play with them in the garden on the man’s rare days off, that he take them out for ice cream in the park. It was Elise who helped the nephew and uncle to grow closer.

Everything good that ever happened to Dazai it was with the help of his little cousin.

The only thing Dazai made sure Elise never saw was his moments of weakness. When he would pick up the nearest sharp object and hack away at his own skin. Old habits from his old life that he could never fully rid himself of.

After these moments he would go visit Mori who would silently bandage him up. Neither of them liked to talk about it and Elise never found out.

When Dazai graduated high school at age fifteen, three years early, no one clapped louder for him than Elise.

He was supposed to start university that spring, instead a drunk teenage driver lost control of his car and it hit Elise as she was walking home from school.

A freak accident was all it took to destroy Dazai.

Chapter Text

Dazai wanted to die.

He was used to the endless numbness and constant emptiness he felt in his daily life however this was somehow worse, he was in constant pain, constant agony.

Not even when living with his mother and her man of the week, under the abuse she liked to spew at him and the hits he endured from whoever she was fucking that day, did he ever feel this way.

Back then felt more like a dream, a vague memory he can’t fully grasp. His therapist called it a trauma response, Dazai thinks he wasn’t fully alive back then so of course a corpse won’t remember a thing.

The past five years were nice, idyllic and like a dream for Dazai. Maybe it wasn’t easy, life never was kind to Dazai, but he was as happy as something such as him could possibly be. But sometimes he could still feel Elise’s small hands in his own, they were always warm, often sticky from whatever sweet treat she’d been most recently munching on.

So when his main source of joy was brutally ripped from this world far, far too young it made sense Dazai would spiral.

He could still remember the day clearly, he was sitting at the dinner table, fiddling with an apple and debating his future. Due to his early graduation from high school he was considering taking a gap year, enrol when he was sixteen instead of fifteen. Maybe he would even wait a few years until everyone else would be his age too, that way he can attend university with Kunikida, his only friend.

“Osamu,” Mori entered the kitchen, looking as though he had just seen a ghost. It was an odd mix of horror and disbelief.

“What’s wrong with your face,” Dazai snarked, a feeling of dread travelling up his spine and hoping his clever use of humour will dispel such a morbid atmosphere.

“Osamu, Elise-chan…” Dazai eyes widened and his heart near enough stopped beating at his next words.

“She’s passed away,”

With such a life shattering sentence you would think Dazai would burst into tears and scream. Instead he dumbly followed Mori to the hospital to ID her body and stared at the ceiling without a single thought in his head.

Not even seeing her lifeless, bloodied corpse could convince him.

Elise couldn’t be dead. It was impossible.

Whatever that thing on the table had been wasn’t his cousin, his cousin would never be that still. She was always moving, whether it be drumming her fingers or bouncing on her toes.

….

It took two weeks of living in that silent house before Dazai had the revelation Elise wasn’t coming back.

He stumbled downstairs, he wasn’t sure why, maybe wanting to scream, maybe he wanted to escape the lifeless house, he had no idea. But that was the first time he bore witness to his uncle passed out on the floor, dozens of empty bottles scattered around.

Dazai had just stood there, god knows how long, just watching and processing and not knowing what to do. In the end, he picked up the half finished bottle still in Mori’s grasp and finished it off himself.

…..

Mori’s drinking didn’t get any better. In fact in only seemed to get worse.

Dazai started to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, with his own thoughts and a razor against his skin.

He put time and effort into clearing up the blood at first, not wanting to add to Mori’s troubles. After a while he realised Mori was oblivious to the world around him. Those once sharp magenta eyes had dulled into a barely conscious gaze.

….

Elise’s funeral was uneventful.

Kunikida showed up, it was the first time Dazai had seen him since the incident. Not from a lack of trying from the blonde, but Dazai had refused to acknowledge his existence.

Elise’s mother (not that she deserved that title) had shown up (for once), face full of ugly tears and snot.

There were others crying, her classmates and other distant relatives, but Dazai and Mori never shed a tear.

It was the only time Mori had been sober in who knows how long, unwilling to disrespect Elise’s memory like that.

Dazai’s grandparents had practically planned the entire event, Mori and himself completely useless to lift a finger. Even so, people still shook their hands and they still thanked the guests for coming because for some reason the stress of planning a funeral was on the shoulders of those grieving the most.

The grandparents practically ignored Dazai the entire time, it was the kindest they had ever been to him. Usually, they liked to insult him to his face, claiming he looked exactly like his mother and they only hoped he wouldn’t act like her too. Amongst other insults. They never said this around Mori, and Dazai never snitched.

It went off without a problem. Dazai didn’t feel like he had closure though.

….

Six months after Elise’s death, Dazai decided he couldn’t do this anymore.

This being life.

So he swallowed some pills, chugged from a bottle he took from Mori and slit his wrists in a bathtub full of water.

….

Dazai woke up in the hospital.

Apparently Mori, in a drunken haze had found him drowning in the bathtub.

Dazai had lived, Elise had not.

….

Mori promised to be better, he promised he wouldn’t touch another drop of alcohol.

He didn’t last the month.

…

Three months later, Dazai attempted to hang himself.

It seemed two suicide attempts so close together was too much. He was shipped off to a mental hospital.

He spent most of his days staring at empty walls and swallowing pills.

His therapist there gave him a book, apparently Mori had told her how he enjoyed reading.

Dazai from that day on was never without a book on his person.

….

Four months into his stay at the hospital, he met Yosano.

She dragged him out of his room and into the garden claiming, “the weather is nice and I’m bored,”

Dazai followed her wordlessly, gripping The Little Prince in the hand she wasn’t pulling him along with.

“Who are you?” She asked. After they had been sitting on the grass in silence for around five minutes. Dazai didn’t look up from the pages as he replied.

“Dazai Osamu,”

“Why are you here?”

“….”

No response.

“Wow this sucks, I thought someone actually interesting finally comes but of course he had to be a completely boring bookworm,” Yosano huffed, flopping onto her back. “Do you even know how to say anything other than your name?”

Once again Dazai didn’t respond.

They stayed like that until the nurses told them to go inside.

…..

Yosano found him a few days later, she sat herself down opposite him and began talking.

“I heard the Mirei-sensei and Katagiri-sensei are hooking up,” she declared, Dazai glanced up at her and she wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk. “Scandalous, I know,”

“Why do you keep talking to me?” He asked, mildly curious about her motives, mostly just bored.

“I told you, there’s no one interesting in this place, at least no one interesting and sane,” she sighed, like people in a mental hospital should be normal and sane.

“How do you know I’m sane,” he quirked his eyebrows up. “I’m also in here,”

“Touché,” she grinned. “I’m Yosano Akiko,”

“I didn’t ask,”

“I don’t need you to,”

As she stood up to leave she threw him one last grin. “I never claimed to be sane myself,”

Dazai found he didn’t mind her too much.

During the months that followed they would talk whenever they saw each other, Yosano was the only person Dazai would speak to.

……

“I burnt my foster family’s house down,” she confessed one random afternoon. “Sure, I did it in a fit of despair, I wasn’t really thinking clearly,” she turned to him with a shrug, “the funny part is I don’t really regret it,”

“Would you do it again?” Dazai asked.

“In a heart beat,”

They laughed like it was a totally normal thing to say.

Maybe they were a little crazy, neither of them minded.

….

“I tried to kill myself,” Dazai told her a week after Yosano’s confession. “Twice, actually,”

“The first time wasn’t enough to have you admitted?” She casually wondered.

“Apparently not,”

“Huh, that’s dumb,”

“I know right,”

….

Yosano wasn’t Dazai’s first kiss. No, he had always been popular amongst girls.

She was his first time though.

Afterwards as they laid in the stained hospital bed, sweaty and naked, they looked at each other with a grin.

“I think we should stick to being friends,” Yosano spoke first.

“Agreed, I don’t feel any romantic feelings for you,” he nodded.

“Gross,”

“Completely disgusting,”

“We should have sex again though if we get bored,”

“Oh definitely,”

Despite this agreement, their sexscapades weren’t too frequent, mostly they prioritised their friendship.

….

Yosano was released before Dazai and he returned to his monotone existence.

She would visit him, when she could, the second time she brought along Ranpo, introducing him as her foster brother.

Her new home is a lot nicer than her old one. She probably wasn’t going to give arson another go.

Dazai liked Ranpo, he matched Dazai and Yosano’s chaotic energy and brought his own enigmatic personality which seamlessly mixed with the established dynamic.

Once Dazai was finally released he wasn’t allowed to live with Mori since the man was deemed an unfit guardian, especially for such a troubled young man.

Instead, he was shipped off to some foster home, like Yosano.

Also like Yosano, he found he didn’t mind living with Odasaku and his army of gremlins.

….

Kunikida was introduced to Yosano and Ranpo, along with a new notebook from Dazai to apologise for freezing him out the past couple years.

Kunikida easily forgave him, telling him to come to him with any problems before resulting to such drastic measures. Dazai had smiled sheepishly and promised to try.

In the end, it turned out being surrounded by people who loved and cared about him helped Dazai, who would have guessed.

Of course, he still visits Mori, his uncle doing his best to be sober when Dazai arrived but he could still smell the alcohol in the air and on the rare occasion Mori was passed out when Dazai arrived he would sigh and leave without a word.

Mori was lucky he was so highly regarded as a surgeon, anyone else would have lost their job long ago. Instead Mori made it a point to only drink in the evenings and focus on his job during the day and this was only after he was threatened with being fired for missing too many days .

Despite everything, Dazai and his friends still enrolled in university the same time as everyone else his age.

There he met Chuuya and so the story starts.

Chapter Text

Dazai arrived back at the messy apartment he shared with his two friends completely exhausted.

He slumped onto the sofa with a groan, his considerate roommates not even giving him a second look.

"That bad, huh?" Yosano sounded so completely sympathetic to his problems. He sure was lucky to have such great friends.

"It was weird," was his informative response. Because fuck it was so fucking weird.

Mori was eight months sober. Eight months. He's never gone this long before, it made his ridiculously stubborn heart beat with hope that maybe this would be the time. But he thought that the last time too, and the time before that.

"Was he drunk again?" Yosano asked, coming to sit besides him. Finally she was actually acting like his friend.

"No," he mumbled into the pillow. "Eight months, Aki... he said he's eight months sober,"

"That's great isn't it?" Dazai finally lifted his head from where he was trying to suffocate himself with the pillow and she was looking down at him like he was an idiot.

"Who knows if he'll make it to nine," was his sulky reply.

"Dazai, if you don't believe in him who will," Yosano said, her voice gently like she was talking to an overgrown, pouting child because really that's all Dazai was.

"Like everyone he works with,"

"Oh please, we both know that's just flattery," Yosano snorted.

"Shut up,"

"Stop being such a baby," Ranpo chose this particular moment to chime in. "I think he'll make it this time,"

"What?"

Both Dazai and Yosano turned to look at him in disbelief.

"You've never said that about him before," Yosano pointed out and Dazai eagerly nodded along.

"You haven't even seen him recently," Dazai said.

"But you think he might make it this time Dazai, and really who knows him better than you," Ranpo shrugged like it was obvious. "That's why you're so conflicted, you just don't want to admit something good might finally be happening to you, same reasons you won't admit your feelings for Nakahara,"

"Okay, first of all that is not true! Second I don't have feelings for Chuuya!"

"Whatever you say, loser,"

"I don't!"

......

The next day Dazai went to see Chuuya.

Not because he liked him or whatever ridiculous bullshit his roommates were spewing, really what did those idiots know.

Today Kunikida was accompanying him, the blonde man always made a fuss over Dazai when he comes back from visiting Mori. He makes a note in his schedule to send Dazai texts regularly, reminding him of his lectures, to study, to eat, to drink. Basically the messages are never ending.

It's sweet that he cares but seriously the blonde could be a little much sometimes.

"Good morning Chuuya," Dazai greets him with a carefree smile. If his heart beats a little faster at the way Chuuya beams at him then it's because the walk over here was so exhausting. No over reason.

"Hey, you're back," and Chuuya sounds genuinely pleased to see him. He sounds genuinely happy that Dazai is here, like he actually enjoys having him around. What a weirdo.

Dazai had the weird urge to kiss him.

"How was your family?"

And Dazai's mood immediately soured.

"The same as always," he waved the question away like he hadn't spend all weekend agonising over the topic.

"Dazai, nowhere in my schedule does it say watch you flirt with Nakahara, no offence Nakahara, the problem is always Dazai," Kunikida states, very matter of factly, face buried in his book of ideals and he turns to Chuuya as he says the last part.

"Geez Kunikida no need to be so uptight, you know you'll get wrinkles if you keep worrying like this," Dazai explained very nicely. Wow, he really was a kind soul. "Besides it's scientifically proven that talking to your barrister makes the drink taste better which means it's affects will be boosted, including but not limited to a good mood, limitless energy and the ability to fly, and some have even gone on record to say they met a unicorn,"

Up until that last one Kunikida had been diligently writing down his words in his notebook, freezing as Dazai got more and more ridiculous with his lie.

"I'm kidding of course," he stuck his tongue out at the blonde who lunged for him in an attempt to throttle him.

Dazai just laughed, completely used to being strangled by Kunikida by this point.

“This is so kinky~” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Kunikida who looked utterly disgusted and backed away immediately.

Dazai then turned back to Chuuya who was watching the display with an unreadable expression, ignoring Kunikida’s mumbling about what a pest he was.

“Chuuya?” Dazai caught the other’s attention. “Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh no sorry I was just thinking,” the redhead shook himself out of whatever stupor he’d been in.

“About?” Dazai prompted.

“Just you two seem close, how long have you know each other?” Chuuya wondered.

Dazai blinked. Was that all Chuuya had been thinking?

“We’ve been the best of friend ever since we were ten!” Dazai slung an arm around Kunikida’s shoulder who looked seconds away from violence. “Isn’t that right buddy?”

“It’s been 8 years of suffering,” Kunikida said solemnly.

“See, we’re the best of friends,”

Kunikida just sighed.

“Anyway, what are you doing tomorrow, ChuuChuu?” Dazai once again ignored his best friend.

“Eh? I think I’m free after 5, that’s when my shift ends,” Chuuya replied, his cheeks heating up a little.

Chuuya was really cute, he found himself thinking.

“Great, there’s this new seafood place that opened nearby and I was thinking of checking it out,” Dazai explained, leaning forwards over the counter just so he could see Chuuya’s blush darken. “Do you wanna come with me?”

Dazai swears he can see Chuuya’s soul leave his body.

“Yeah!” Chuuya basically yelled as soon as he finished processing the information.

“Great~” Dazai smiled.

He really did enjoy Chuuya’s company but they hadn’t really gotten much of a chance to hang out one on one as friends.

Then there was the whole friends with benefits thing, but for tomorrow he just wanted to focus on their friendship.

“Wait will there be other people there?” Chuuya wondered, seeming a little cautious asking this.

“No I was thinking just us,” Dazai paused. “Is that okay?”

“Yup! It’s more than okay!” Chuuya sounded like he was choking. Odd. He looked enthusiastic though.

“Great I’ll pick you up around seven,” Dazai grinned.

They ordered their drinks and sat down at Dazai’s usual table, Kunikida looking at him weirdly.

“Did you just ask Nakahara out on a date?” The blonde asked.

Dazai choked on his coffee.

“No!” He protested. “As friends! Friends!”

“Does Nakahara know that?” Kunikida pointed over to a very happy looking Chuuya.

“Well duh,”

Kunikida just looked at him like he was an idiot.

(When Chuuya finished his shift at work he immediately ran to Tachihara’s dorm, screaming in excitement.

“He asked me on a date! Tachi! I finally have a date with Dazai!”

“About time he asked!”

“What am I supposed to wear?? Quick we need Gin!”

So no, Chuuya was not aware that it was not a date and to be honest the real question is does Dazai realise that yes it is a date.

The answer as you have already read is no.

He’s a little confused but he’s doing his best.)

Chapter Text

Dazai was casually enjoying his evening, drinking his coffee (decaf) that tasted nowhere near as good as the one Chuuya always made for him, and half paying attention to the show on the TV.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Yosano questioned, sitting next to him on the sofa.

Dazai shrugged. He was in a weirdly good mood. Maybe it was because Chuuya had said yes to them hanging out tomorrow, he had half expected to be rejected, which was insane. They were friends. Why would Chuuya tell him no?

"It's obviously Chuuya again," Ranpo helpfully supplied. Dazai rolled his eyes.

Before Dazai could tell them both to fuck off, there was a frantic knocking at the door.

The trio looked at each other for second before shouting "NOT IT!"

Yosano was a split second too late. She groaned, looking physically pained to have to get up off the sofa, flipping them both off as they grinned victoriously.

She opened the door and he heard her say a confused, "Atsushi-kun?" Before the boy ran past her, practically jumping on top of Dazai was wide, frantic eyes.

"Dazai-san!" He screeched.

"Woah what is happening-" Dazai tried to ask, too confused by the boy's behaviour.

"Is it true?" Atsushi demanded, a weird hope shining in his eyes that Dazai wasn't sure he liked.

"Is what true?" Yosano demanded, walking back over, looking annoying at being ignored but also insanely curious.

"Dazai-san invited Chuuya-san on a date!" Atsushi burst out.

Yosano's jaw dropped.

Ranpo's jaw dropped.

Dazai's jaw dropped.

"What!" All three yell at the same time.

"Why are you shocked?" Yosano smacked him over the head.

"Does that mean it's not true?" Atsushi frowned, looking confused and a little disappointed. "That's weird, Gin said Chuuya has been freaking out about it all evening, he's really excited,"

"He's excited?" Dazai repeated, baffled. "By the idea of a date with me?"

"I wonder how this whole misunderstanding happened," Atsushi wondered, thoughtfully.

Dazai ignored him, pulling out his phone and calling Kunikida.

"What do you want Dazai?" Came the blonde's irritated voice. "I'm in the middle of studying, you know that I have an hour of studying scheduled,"

"Did I ask Chuuya on a date earlier?" Dazai blurted out.

All the eyes in the room were on him now. It was so incredibly nerve wracking. Not his friend's stares but waiting for Kunikida's reply. His legs was bouncing up and down in anticipation for the answer.

"You've finally realised? I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen to me," Kunikida sounded so irritated by him and Dazai couldn't even blame him. He was a massive fucking idiot.

"Wait, what did Dazai say to him?" Yosano demanded, grabbing the phone out his hand while Dazai had a mini life crisis.

As Kunikida informed the other's in the room about how the invitation happened Dazai thought back on his own words too. Now that he thought about it... that was totally a date invite. How was he so oblivious? He was supposed to be a genius. He literally told Chuuya he would pick him up at seven, all smooth and cool like and Chuuya was blushing. Wait... Chuuya blushed around him a lot.

Holy shit!

Did that mean what Dazai thought it meant?

And why was he so happy at the thought of it? The thought of Chuuya liking him wasn't repulsive as it usually was, in fact Dazai wanted him to like him, even dared hope that Chuuya might even lo-

No, that was too crazy.

"I got to say, Dazai," Yosano broke him out of his thoughts. "Sounds like you asked him on a date,"

Dazai groaned.

"What's the problem?" Ranpo shrugged. "This saved you the trouble of doing it later, right? I mean by now you have to realise your own feelings,"

"I'm still processing Ranpo, shut up," Dazai snapped, the genius didn't flinch, simply grabbed more candy and stuck his tongue out.

"Wait? Dazai-san how do you feel about Chuuya-san?" Atsushi wondered, looking excited.

"There's a slight chance-" Yosano and Ranpo snorted. Dazai hates it here. "- that I may have feelings of some kind-" the two raised their eyebrows at him like he was being an idiot. "- and they may be romantic feelings-"

"No shit," Ranpo interrupted.

"Let me have my moment!" Dazai wailed.

He was going through something! Why couldn't his friends at least pretend to be supportive and loving as he goes through this crisis.

"It's okay, Dazai-san, take your time!" Atsushi smiled encouraging. Dazai sniffed dramatically, jumping up onto his feet and hugging Atsushi.

"You're the only one who cares about me! This is why you're my favourite," he sticks his tongue out at Yosano and Ranpo, before smiling at how embarrassed Atsushi gets when someone shows him affection.

"Will you just admit you like him," Ranpo said. Dazai pouted.

"I like him,"

Everyone cheered.

.....

It turns out even if you already know someone has accepted your (accidental) date invitation, it's still incredibly stressful. Now that he's aware that it's a date, all he can think about it what he's supposed to do, what he's supposed to wear? Does he treat Chuuya different than usual?

Dazai Osamu comes to hopeless realisation that he's never been on a date before, nor has he ever had feelings stronger than 'oh they're pretty attractive' towards someone.

What is he supposed to do?

"Just be yourself," Yosano tells him when he asks her. "For some weird reason, Nakahara seems to actually like your personality,"

"Did you need to say it like that?" Dazai said, keeping his face completely straight. Yosano just smirked.

He was being bullied! Bullied!

"Just do what feels natural, it's not like this is some stranger, you and Nakahara get along," Yosano sighs, actually taking pity on him. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "The hard part's over, he already likes you, just have fun,"

It was easier said than done, but she did have a point.

Ranpo, on the other hand, was far less helpful.

"Try not to screw up too much!" The candy obsessed man-child called out as he made his way to the door. Dazai didn't dignify that with a response, simply held up his middle finger and opened the door.

"Good luck, Dazai-san!" Atsushi, bless his soul, called out as he left.

"This," Dazai stated, turning around before he closed the door. "Is why Atsushi-kun is my favourite,"

He closed the door, still able to hear Yosano and Ranpo's cackling.

God, he needed new friends. Better friends.

.....

Dazai spent the walk to Chuuya's house trying to calm himself down. He took deep breathes and kept a firm grip on the book he had tucked away in the pocket of his trench coat.

He had actually dressed up for the occasional, making sure his outfit has Yosano's seal of approval which gave him an extra confidence boost. He was wearing his nicest black slacks he reserved for special occasional, a navy blue dress shirt that definitely did not match the blue of Chuuya's eyes and his best dress shoes. He even put in his contact lenses for today, he really hates wearing contacts, and styled his hair so one side is tucked behind his ear.

All in all he was feeling relatively confident about his appearance. He looked good and he knew it. But Dazai was under no allusions about his appearance, he was aware of his own good looks. It was his personality that tended to scare people off.

Well if Dazai thought he looked nice, when Chuuya opened the door the only accurate way to compare them would be a blob fish and an angel.

He felt his jaw slacken for one stunned moment before he managed to pull himself together enough to force a confident smile.

"You dressed up for me," he pretended to casually acknowledge because dressed up was an understatement. Chuuya looked positively divine right now, not that Chuuya didn't always look amazing, he did.

It's just- it was weirdly hard to not want to bathe Chuuya in compliments now that he was aware of his own feelings. It's like a light that had only been on normal settings suddenly doubles in brightness and Dazai should look away before his eyes burn. But he can't.

Chuuya was wearing a simple black cropped top that showed off his toned stomach, which Dazai had seen glances of before, but seeing it now his mouth watered a little and he forced himself to swallow. He wanted nothing more than to get his mouth on Chuuya's skin right here and now. Over the crop-top a burgundy leather jacket which on anyone else Dazai would call tacky, but on Chuuya it looked perfect and tight black slacks that made Dazai feel a little insane.

And the black combat boots- honestly Dazai wouldn't mind them stepping on him a little.

As already stated. Chuuya looked good.

Realising he hadn't said anything in a few seconds he cleared his throat. "You look nice," Chuuya's features seemed to relax at his words and he grinned.

"You aren't so bad yourself," the redhead replied, stepping out his dorm room and closing the door. "I'm starving, lets fucking eat!"

Dazai laughed a little at his excitement but almost choked when Chuuya shamelessly threaded their fingers together. There was a moment of hesitation as he checked this was okay, to which Dazai gave small nod because what the fuck else was he supposed to do, before he was pulling him down the hallways and out the building.

Holy shit.

Dazai was not going to survive tonight. Chuuya was going to kill him.

His poor heart can't take this.

Chapter Text

Yosano was fully aware that men could be pieces of shit.

Don’t get her wrong, some of her closest friends were men and she loved them dearly. But in her opinion it was better to be cautious around strangers and be safe than to be a saint.

Clearly, Louisa May Alcott agreed with her, but she lacked the confidence that Yosano carried herself with. The confidence that Yosano wore like armour, that allowed her to hold her head up high and stomp her high heels into scumbags.

As the sweet girl cried herself out on her friend’s shoulder, Yosano’s blood boiled.

Lucy held her friend close and Yosano debated murder.

“Is it my fault?” Louisa hiccuped out. Both heads snapped down to her in shock.

“No!” Lucy said, her voice so full of conviction that there was no trace of doubt that she wholeheartedly believed her own words. “You did nothing wrong!”

“But I didn’t say no,” Louisa’s voice was so fragile that it simultaneously made Yosano’s heart break and further fuelled her rage.

“Louisa, let me ask you this,” Yosano knelt down in front of her from where she had been sitting besides them. “At any point did he stop to ask if it was okay? Or that you wanted it?”

“Well no-“

“Then how could you answer a question you were never asked?” Yosano cut her off before she could somehow convince herself it was her own fault. “It’s not your fault for freezing up, it’s understandable, you were scared,”

“I didn’t even fight him,”

“That still doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, you are the victim here, you are the one who has been wronged. You shouldn’t justify his actions. Ever,”

Louisa began to sob again, clinging onto Lucy for dear life.

Yosano wanted to kill him.

From what she had gathered from the other girls, a group of friends had gone back to Louisa’s halls after leaving the club for a little after party. Lucy had left early because she knew she had an early lecture and Louisa was at home so what possibly could the danger of been?

Apparently when Louisa went into her room to grab a hoodie to wear, she was followed inside. Mark and Louisa had been friends for a few months so the poor girl hadn’t thought anything of it at first, not until he pushed her against the wall and started kissing her. Not until he pulled her clothes down and took what he wanted without a care for what Louisa wanted.

No matter how many times she tried to remind him all their friends were outside and that she needed a moment to think.

He took what he wanted, while everyone else was outside the room in the kitchen laughing. Less than ten metres away.

Louisa was in her own home, surrounded by a group of her friends. How could she of possibly been in danger there? How?

Sometimes these things just don’t have answer, sometimes life is just shit and bad things happen to good people no matter what you do.

Later on that day, after Louisa had stopped crying and had calmed down. After she had stopped blaming herself for something that was completely out of her control. Lucy left Louisa with Yosano and stormed off, she returned half an hour later with a feral grin, shaking out her fists.

“He’ll have a bruise on his face tomorrow, two actually one each side,” she informed them. Yosano’s only regret is she didn’t do it herself.

As Lucy explained what had happened during the confrontation Yosano had to admire her. She not only got multiple punches in, she also explained to him what he did wrong. She explained to him how women should be treated, how not saying no doesn’t mean yes. About how he needs to ask. She made him cry. Twice again.

Lucy didn’t just attack him, she brought up his issues and told him how to get help. Is it sad that the only way to get someone to listen to what they’ve done wrong is to pretend you care about what happened to them? Maybe. But sadly, one sided yelling is like arguing with a brick wall.

The truly tragic part is Louisa will have to see him again.

And every time she sees him she will likely relive that night.

(The next time Yosano sees him she pours a drink over him and tells him to fuck off.)

…..

Yosano was walking to the shops. The fucking shops.

She was in trousers and a t-shirt, looking as unsexy as someone as naturally gorgeous as Yosano could.

On the way she noticed two guys who had somehow managed to attach their bikes together so it was like riding one big bike. It was weird. She stared a little long trying to figure out how they had done it.

“There’s two bikes?” She found herself saying out loud as she passed by her. They obviously heard her as they glanced at her. She expected her innocent curiosity to normal, they probably got plenty of odd looks for their weird bike.

What she didn’t expect was for one of them to call out. “Yeah and there’s room for you on my lap, baby,”

With the most disgusted look she could muster (it wasn’t hard, she was genuinely repulsed) she turned to them and watched them speed away. “No,” was her curt reply.

“Dude, don’t say that-“ she briefly heard as they pedalled away and how sad was it that she felt slightly hopeful at the scumbag’s friend telling him to stop. Something that should be the decent thing to do, the bare minimum really.

….

Lucy smiled politely.

She wasn’t an idiot, she knew what that look meant but as long as she ignored it everything would be fine.

“You are really a gorgeous girl,” he told her. “Like absolutely stunning,”

Lucy forced her smile to stay in place.

“Thank you,” she replied. “My friends are over there, so I should get going,”

“That’s a shame, it was lovely to meet you, maybe I could get your-“

“Yeah, nice to meet you too,” she cut him off and ran over to where her friends were waiting for her a few metres away.

“Who was that?” Yosano wondered, shooting the guy a glare. He was probably watching her leave then.

“Someone Agatha knows, I forgot his name,” Lucy replied. “They’re on the same course apparently, he just came over and started talking to us then Agatha got pulled aside by some other people,”

“Well, we’re heading home now anyway, you coming or staying?” Yosano asked. Lucy knew other people who would still be out but honestly she was tired and just wanted her bed.

“I’ll head back with you guys,” she replied easily. That way whatever his name is won’t find her again. They barely spoke for two minutes but that was all the time she needed to become uncomfortable.

“Lovely,” Yosano smiled at her, a gentle smile unlike her terrifying one she reserved for people who pissed her off. “Oi, Dazai get your ass over here, we’re heading home!”

“Yes yes~” came the brunette’s voice as he waved to whoever it was he was taking to. Lucy didn’t recognise them.

As they left Atsushi began to match his steps to walk besides her. Dazai, Yosano and Ranpo marched ahead caught up in their own bickering and the others had all chosen to stay out a little longer. She turned to him curious.

He looked a little nervous, unsure if he should say anything so she nudged him with her elbow and raised her eyebrows in a way she hoped meant spit it out.

“Are you okay?” Atsushi asked her, concern evident in his tone. “You didn’t seem all that happy when you were talking with him,”

Lucy was not.

Do you know it’s like to feel like a meal served on a silver fucking plate, to be looked at as though not only do these men have a right to you and your body but also like you’re prey. Like you’re less than human.

Women aren’t people to these men, they are objects for them to control.

He didn’t say anything but she could see it in his eyes, could practically feel his gaze over her body.

She felt sick.

But what could see do. He technically hadn’t done anything wrong by looking, he hadn’t tried to touch her or cross any boundaries. That was life as women.

“… no,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Atsushi said, his voice so low she almost didn’t hear him.

With what had happened to Louisa so fresh in her memory, these things that used to seem so harmless to her, felt so violating.

Lucy reached out to hold Atsushi’s hand, feeling herself relax as the other boy rubbed circles over her knuckles with his thumb.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it,” she said the sad truth.

“You shouldn’t be,” Atsushi protested, feeling offended on her behalf.

“Thank you, Atsushi,”

The white haired boy turned to her, confusion evident on his face. He looked so lost, like a confused kitten. She couldn’t help laughing a little.

“For reminding me there are still good people out there in the world,”

“Ah- no I-“ as Atsushi stumbled over his next words Lucy just laughed again, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth.

Lucy thought back to the time a man whistled at her across the room, looked her dead in the eyes before pointing at her and beckoning her over. He treated her like an animal and it made her sick to her stomach.

And then she thought about Atsushi, insecure but heart of gold Atsushi. That was enough to wash away the bad memories.

For every bad memory Lucy had with a man, there was a good one with someone important to her. She needed to remember that.

Isn’t a sad world we live in, where women have to remind themselves that not everyone is a danger to them.

Chapter Text

They walked in silence for a few minutes.

It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, per se, it was more loaded with tension. Chuuya kept his gaze focused straight ahead, unwilling to look at Dazai or their conjoined hands.

He'd taken a big risk, grabbing Dazai's hand like that. Luckily, the taller didn't seem to mind, even so Chuuya was certain his face was on fire.

Dazai's earlier words reverberated around his head, "you look nice," sure it wasn't the overly flattering compliment he'd been hoping for but he did notice the way Dazai swallowed and his cheeks tinted slightly.

That reaction was worth far more than even the most beautiful poetry.

Chuuya was beginning to wonder if he should say something when Dazai spoke up.

"So does Chuuya like seafood?" He asked, sounding less curious and more desperate for something to talk about.

"Yeah, I'm not fussy so I'll pretty much eat anything," Chuuya hummed in response. He liked food. All food. But anything in front of him, as long as it was edible he would have no trouble eating it.

"That must be nice," Dazai hummed, sticking his tongue out like he had eaten something sour. "I'm unbelievably fussy,"

"But you like seafood?" Chuuya raised his eyes brows, amused by Dazai's antics. "Must fussy people don't like it,"

"Well I pride myself on being a menace~ I can't let anyone predict my next moves!"

"Okay, okay,"

"Chuuya's mean,"

"Hah? How was that mean!?"

"You don't fully believe me!" Dazai whined as though Chuuya had committed a grave injustice against him.

"No I believe you're a menace," Chuuya rolled his eyes. "But you aren't as mysterious as you like to think,"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, deep down you're just a huge nerd,"

Dazai let out an offended gasp.

"You take that back!"

"Never!"

And just like that the awkwardness was gone. Both boys had completely forgotten all about their earlier apprehension and were just enjoying their walk to the restaurant.

"So, Nakahara Chuuya-" Dazai started before Chuuya interrupted him.

"Your full naming me?"

"Yes, this is very important," Dazai said, tone completely serious but the twinkle in his eyes says otherwise. "Anyway, Chibi-"

"Oh,"

"Tell me something about you that I don't know yet,"

This caused Chuuya to pause his walking.

"Huh?"

"What? Can't think of anything?" Dazai frowned looking concerned. "Or was that too personal,"

"No no, it's just funny, now that I think about it I don't really know all that much about you," Chuuya pointed out. "We haven't actually known each other all that long,"

"That's true," Dazai hummed looking a little distracted.

"I don't even know where you're from," Chuuya told him.

"Yokohama," Dazai answered easily.

"Oh, did you live there your whole life?" Chuuya asked.

"No, I grew up in Aomori until I was ten, that was when I went to live with my uncle in Yokohama," Dazai explained, voice carefully even and his face so calm that it immediately sent off red flags in Chuuya's mind. He probably shouldn't push the subject too much. "What about you?" Dazai deflected the topic away from him.

"I lived in France until I was seven, then I moved all around Japan," Chuuya shrugged. "My Dad's moved a lot for work and I followed them,"

"You lived in France?" Dazai turned to look at him curiously. "Chuuya this is horrible, I mean I can over look you being so short, and ginger, even though everyone knows gingers have no souls-"

"Oi!"

"But you being French? This is just a deal breaker!"

"Oh shut it," Chuuya rolled his eyes but he was fighting back a smile. "Yeah, my mum was Japanese but my dad's french," Chuuya explained. "Not that I've ever met my mum, she passed away giving birth to me, it's why I use her surname,"

"I'm sorry,"

"It's fine, it's not like I ever knew her,"

"But still growing up with one parent is hard,"

"It's fine, my dad married his husband when I was four so I can't really remember it ever being just the two of us,"

Dazai didn't say anything else as they arrived at the restaurant. Chuuya let Dazai talk to the hostess as he was the one who had made the reservations, though he did notice the way Dazai squeezed his hand slightly as he spoke. Chuuya squeezed back hoping it would be reassuring, he knows how much Dazai hates talking to strangers and he would of done the talking for them if the brunette had only asked and not marched straight over.

They were seated pretty quickly and left to browse the menus.

"What are you going to get?" Chuuya asked after a couple minutes.

"Probably a crab dish," Dazai seemed pretty decisive, his attention not even on the menu anymore. "What about Chuuya?"

"I don't know... it all sounds pretty good,"

"Of course you're the type to be indecisive,"

"It's a hard decision!" He defended.

"Whatever you don't get today you can just get next time," Dazai pointed out like it was simple and Chuuya paused. Next? That would imply there would be another date.

Another date. With Dazai. Another date with Dazai!

It took everything within him not to start squealing.

"Yeah," he coughed in an attempt to not let his flustered state show, even though judging by Dazai's smirk he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

In the end Chuuya settled on a mackerel dish, making a joke he was eating Dazai's relatives.

They chatted (bickered) a little more while they waited for their food to arrive, only for Chuuya to completely ignore Dazai and dig into his meal without hesitation.

Ah. Dazai thought, he's the type to completely fixate on his meal.

Honestly, Dazai was the same. He didn't enjoy talking while eating because it usually meant the food went cold and once that happened it no longer appealed to him.

So they ate mostly in silence, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one.

“I’m amazed Chuuya can fit so much food in his body despite being so small,” Dazai told him, once he was finished with his plate. Chuuya was halfway through chewing a mouthful so all his did was glare until he had swallowed.

“You little-“

“I have something I need to confess to Chuuya,” Dazai interrupted before the redhead could go on a tirade about how he was still growing and Dazai was just a stupid beanpole.

His words made Chuuya freeze. A mix of hope and fear battled for predominance on his face, but he nodded to allow Dazai to continue.

“When I asked Chuuya here, I didn’t intent for it to be a date,”

And just like that Dazai watched as Chuuya’s face fell, how those blue eyes teared up a little. But Chuuya, brave, beautiful Chuuya, still tried to hide this.

“Oh,” was all he said.

“But I’m glad we are,” he continued. “On a date, I mean,”

“Hah?” Chuuya frowned. “Okay, now I’m confused, is this a date or not?”

“It is,” Dazai insisted. “It turns out I’m just an oblivious idiot who failed to realise his feelings until someone shoves it into my face,”

As rude and inconsiderate and just horrible his friends were to him and no matter how much he sometimes wanted to smother them with a pillow in their sleep, he was still so grateful to have them. He was a dumbass who could never function without their interference.

He was grateful, even if he would resist their care, kicking and screaming.

“Can you please say that in a less cryptic way,” Chuuya now looked a little irritated at Dazai talking in riddles, but the hope had come back.

“I’m trying to say I like you Chuuya,” Dazai laughed, unable to resist finding Chuuya’s reactions so cute.

“Oh,”

And there was a stunned moment of silence where Dazai immediately regretted everything and figured maybe he had misinterpreted the signs and Chuuya didn’t like him back and he would die alone surrounded by many, many cats, that honestly Yosano would end up looking after because he was so useless-

And then when Chuuya stood up Dazai was convinced he was about to left all alone in the restaurant, only the shorter man walked over to Dazai, put his hand on his cheek and oh-

Chuuya was kissing him.

His brain was lagging behind a little and he didn’t kiss back right away, but as soon as he caught up to what was going on and what it meant-

Dazai doesn’t think kissing has ever felt so good.

Kissing Chuuya felt like heaven, like it was everything he had missing in his life.

When they separated (because they were still in a restaurant and neither wanted to be kicked out for PDA) Dazai was a blushing, stammering mess, while Chuuya simply smirked.

Dazai melted.

Chuuya was the most beautiful, hottest, sexiest- he was so perfect.

“I like you too,” Chuuya said, even though he really didn’t need to. Dazai had heard it loud and clear during that kiss.

And now that he thought about it was that their first kiss???

There was that night that neither of them remember, but if they didn’t remember kissing then did it count?

“Hey, Chuuya,” Dazai decided to voice this thought. “Did that count as first kiss,”

“What are you on about?”

“Well I mean we probably kissed that night,”

“But we don’t remember it,”

“But it still happened…. Probably,”

“But we can’t say for sure,”

“Well no…”

“Then this was our first kiss,” Chuuya settled. “The first of many,”

“Heh~ Chuuya wants to kiss me so bad, how pitiful,” Dazai snickered.

“And?”

Dazai blushed again, stammering out a ridiculous answer that Chuuya kissed away.

The restaurant staff coughed making them pull away, embarrassed. Dazai quickly payed the check (since he invited Chuuya it’s only fair he payed) and they left the restaurant laughing.

Chapter Text

They barely managed to make it back to Dazai's place without just jumping one another like some feral dogs in heat. Even then the walk home was filled with shoving the other into a wall to aggressively make out until their last shred of self control almost broke and they almost just did it right there in the streets, so they would take off running before one would get withdrawal again and crave the others taste.

As soon as Dazai closed the door behind him, Chuuya had him pressed up against the wall, not even giving him a chance to speak before pressing their hungry mouths together.

Of course, Dazai had zero complaints about this. In fact if Chuuya hadn't done so he probably would have.

Now this is where the two idiots have made their first mistake, because when they saw the lights were off they wrongly assumed that no one was in the room. What they failed to take into account was the fact that Ranpo and Yosano were just watching a movie so when Yosano turned on the light switch they had a full view of their make out session.

"Ahhhhhfhghghghghhhhh!"

Was Chuuya's unholy scream.

"Ah."

Was Dazai's unbothered smirk.

"So the date went well I see," Yosano grinned. Dazai grinned back.

"Very well~"

"Well, don't let us interrupt you, carry on,"

"I do not want to see this!" Ranpo protested, looking disgusted by the very idea. "While I'm sure Nakahara would be very hot, I don't want to see Dazai slobber all over him, gross!"

"Nah, he's not that bad in bed," Yosano waved him off. "He gets passing marks,"

"Wait what."

Everyone turned to Chuuya who looked extremely confused, Dazai paled, Yosano looked like she wanted to kick herself and Ranpo was trying not to cackle. "You two. Have slept together. You two?"

"Uh... maybe we should talk about this in private," Dazai said, awkwardly. This whole situation was extremely awkward in fact.

"I think I'd rather go home," Chuuya declared, turning around ready to go home and cry and eat ice cream and punch a pillow imagining it as Dazai's face.

Because Dazai has slept with Yosano. The same Yosano who is one of his closest friends and she is so incredibly gorgeous that why on earth she and him weren't dating if they were fine with having sex, Chuuya had no idea.

"No wait- Chuuya seriously just hear me out!" Dazai tried to reach out but Chuuya pulled his wrist away.

He just wanted to go home. He really, really did not want to have this conversation while he felt like crying.

"Sure," he said instead because he must hate himself. The look of relief Dazai gave him made him want to cry even harder because why would he look at him like that??

They silently made their way to Dazai's room, Yosano and Ranpo's eyes following them. Chuuya wanted to die.

"Look I know that sounded really bad-"

"It did,"

Dazai winced at the interruption. "But there isn't anything between us, I swear,"

"Then why are you sleeping together?!" He all but screamed.

"We haven't slept together in like year! I promise you!" Dazai frantically explained. "We were horny teens in a psych ward and there wasn't much to do and I don't know we were both a little fucked in the head back then and on some level I guess we correlated intimacy with sex, and then we kept fucking extremely rarely because there was no reason not to-"

"None of this is making me want to stay," Chuuya pointed out.

All Dazai was doing was rambling and it was infuriating Chuuya further. Fuck. He sounded like a jealous idiot.

But half an hour ago he had been the happiest he had ever been, Dazai liked him. Now he finds out that for some reason Dazai had sex with one of his closest friends and if it was anyone else he wouldn't mind but-

But he's seen the way Yosano and Dazai look at one another. The fondness there, the love. Until today, until two minutes ago, he assumed that love was platonic. Now he couldn't help but question that!

Maybe he was over reacting! But this was a big revelation, he needed time to process.

"I... I like you... is that not reason enough?" The way Dazai said this sounded so broken that Chuuya wanted to hug him, but he held himself back.

"Do you like her?" Chuuya couldn't help but ask.

"Akiko?"

Dazai sounded so bewildered by the concept that Chuuya felt a little bit of relief.

"I love her, but not in that way," Dazai spoke with such conviction that Chuuya couldn't help but want to believe him. "She's my family, I couldn't live without her and the only reason we slept together was because we wanted someone to be by our sides... and I guess we thought sex was the best way to do that,"

"You said you haven't slept together in a year?" Chuuya clarified and Dazai nodded. "Why?"

"I..." Dazai paused for a moment to think. "I guess now we know that we'll always be there for each other... sex or no,"

"So there was is nothing between you,"

"No, I promise,"

Chuuya bit his lip, a little wary still.

The fact is he liked Dazai. Really liked him, he might even love him. So, if there is a chance he might get hurt, he needs to know now because once they start Chuuya doesn't think he will ever be able to stop.

"Chuuya," Dazai murmured, placing a gently hand on his cheek. "I'll do anything to prove that your the only one I think about,"

"Anything?"

"Yes, just say the word and I will do it," Dazai looked so sincere that Chuuya couldn't help but melt.

"Kiss me then,"

Dazai obliged without another word.

Somehow, as they kissed, they stumbled over to the bed. Chuuya pushed Dazai down, taking a moment to admire how he was laid out in front of him, before capturing his lips again. His hands wandered down Dazai's body as Dazai's lips trailed down his neck.

They were both panting, desperate for more and becoming painfully hard.

"Wait, how do you want to do this?" Chuuya asked, breaking the kiss apart.

"Hmm?" Dazai looked up at him, his lips swollen from how Chuuya had attacked them. It made a possessive purr of satisfaction bubble up inside him.

Mine, it said.

So he gave Dazai another peck, just because he could.

"I mean some people have a preference right, top or bottom, what are you more comfortable with?" Chuuya personally was fine with either role but he knew that some people like a certain position so he wanted to give Dazai the choice.

"I figured Chuuya already knew how this was going to happen," Dazai grinned up at him, playing with his ginger locks. "You're already on top of me, aren't you chibi~ plus-"

He leaned in closer so he could whisper this directly into Chuuya's ear. "You've been looking at me like you want to fuck me for weeks,"

And like a brat he bit Chuuya's ear.

"Weeks?" Chuuya scoffed. "Try months, shitty Dazai,"

"Ooh~ you want me so bad~" Dazai teased.

"Yes. And?"

The laugh Dazai let out was so beautiful that Chuuya kissed him again just to feel it against his lips.

"Now I really think you're wearing much too much clothes, Chuuya,"

"Then take them off, Dazai"

"Glady,"

The rest of the night was a blur, the moans Dazai let out as Chuuya fucked into him was so delectable that he decided he could go his whole life only hearing the other man moan and he would live a very happy life.

Then when they went for round two, Dazai decided he had enough of laying down, so he flipped Chuuya onto his stomach and slammed his dick so hard into him at one point Chuuya was seeing stars.

Dazai wanted to go for round three (he insisted on riding Chuuya this time) but Chuuya had decided that it was way too late and they needed to shower.

(Dazai did get his round three in the shower)

The next morning, the matching grins on Ranpo and Yosano's faces told them that yes they had heard and no they were not as quiet as Chuuya had tried to make them. Dazai was completely shameless and gave zero fucks, pouring his own coffee and joining them at the kitchen table.

"Jealous?"

"Very, Nakahara is quite the specimen," Yosano whistled in appreciation at Chuuya's shirtless state.

Chuuya didn't hate Yosano, sure looking at her reminded him of his insecurities last night but that wasn't her fault. Her grin did falter a little when she realised he was staring at her though.

"Uh... maybe we should talk," she sighed.

"Do you want to do this privately?" Dazai suggested, looking prepared to drag Ranpo away.

"That might be best," Yosano nodded.

Dazai grabbed Ranpo and they both made their way into the smaller genius' room. Ranpo outright refused to go into Dazai's room, not until the brunette cleaned the bedsheets. Which... was valid.

"Hey," Yosano started. "Maybe we aren't all that close, so I probably shouldn't be making those kinds of jokes, I'm sorry about that,"

"No, no, it's fine," Chuuya assured her. "It's just, you and Dazai are so close and you know more about him than I do and I just panicked when I realised you had slept together, I know it's dumb-"

"It's not dumb," Yosano cut him off, her tone reassuring. "I really thought you knew, I mean we joke about it a lot, so it just became so normal for me that I didn't even think it through,"

"You said we aren't that close... maybe we should change that," Chuuya decided. He did liked Yosano, she was cool and the kind of woman that demanded respect just from her presence. He didn't want his own petty insecurities to get in the way of what could turn out to be a great friendship.

"Yeah, I'd like that," she smiled, so different from her usual grin and Chuuya found himself thinking they would get along just fine.

"Can we come out yet!"

"Ranpo shut up!"

"... of course they were listening in," Yosano sighed, so completely fond that Chuuya found himself holding back laughter.

"You have terrible taste in friends,"

"You have terrible taste in men,"

"Tell me about it," he groaned and they both laughed.

Yeah. Him and Yosano would get along just fine.

Chapter Text

"Dude!" Tachihara screamed down the phone as soon as Chuuya picked up after breakfast.

Despite being the guest he found himself cooking for three useless grown adults. Yosano protested at being called that, saying she was perfectly capable of fending for herself. She was just excited to eat the famous Chuuya meal, apparently Higuchi had bragged about his cooking skills.

"Good morning to you too," Chuuya replied calmly, sitting at the sofa while the other three cleaned up. Well Yosano was cleaning up, Dazai was trying to help but only to look good for Chuuya as Ranpo had exposed, but speaking of the small genius he wasn't even attempting to help, just munching on snacks.

How does he still have room to eat??

"Good morning, whatever, why didn't you call me last night?" Tachihara whine. "I wanted to hear about how your date went- wait! Did you two sleep together! Is that why you’re only just replying! For real!"

"Shut up, you’re so damn loud," Chuuya grumbled, feeling a faint blush on his cheeks. "We may have..."

"Oh my god! You totally did!" Tachihara sounded like he was having the time of his life and Chuuya hated him. "Man, I can't believe you slept with him on the first date. Slut move, dude,"

"Shut your whore mouth," Chuuya rolled his eyes. "You're just jealous I can get laid,"

"Hey! I can totally get laid!"

"Sureeeeee,"

"I hate you,"

"I'm your favourite person,"

"Debatable,"

"Not really, I'm like the only person who can stand you,"

Tachihara let out a scandalised gasp.

"Excuse you! Plenty of people love me,"

"Sure they do buddy, sure they do,"

"Rude," a beat of silence. Then. "So how was it?"

"How was what?" Chuuya asked, despite knowing exactly what Tachihara meant.

"Sex with Dazai! Was it good?"

Chuuya reflected back on his night. Yeah, he thought, it was better than just good.

"Not bad for a fish," he replied, knowing full well that said fish was behind him listening to his conversation because he was a dumb mackerel with no boundaries.

"Not bad, huh?" Dazai spoke up. "Well, I guess I will just have to make it so you can't walk tomorrow morning~"

"Bitch please, I'm topping again tonight," Chuuya shot back. "Anyway, Tachi, I got to go,"

"Whattttt!" Tachihara tried to complain but Chuuya just hung up on him.

"He seems interested in your life," Dazai hummed as he sat down besides Chuuya.

"He's a nosy bastard with no life of his own," Chuuya grumbled back, putting his phone down.

"Haha, I've gotten like twenty texts from Atsushi-kun asking about last night, even Kunikida-kun sent a text," Dazai flopped backwards so his head was resting on the back of the sofa. "So nosy,"

"Doesn't Atsushi have that thing going on with Montgomery?" Chuuya pointed out. "At least he's got a life,"

"Yep, but Kunikida-kun is so chronically sexless that I think he'd explode if he saw a woman's bare chest," Dazai smirked. "He's not prepared to hear all about the nasty, dirty sex we had last night~"

"But you're going to tell him anyway,"

"Every last detail~"

He sounded way too happy while saying that. Annoying bastard.

Chuuya loved him so much.

"Well~ we aren't Kunikida, I would love to hear every dirty detail," Yosano declared, appearing behind them, clearly done cleaning up.

"Meh, I'm sure it's pretty vanilla compared to what I get up to," Ranpo shrugged. Chuuya blinked. What did that mean????

"Ranpo has a reputation for being... kinky," Dazai informed him, seeing his confusion.

"The stuff he comes up with during sex... it's creative to say the least," Yosano winced a little as she explained. So whatever Ranpo did was too much for even her.

"I've never heard any complaints," Ranpo shrugged.

"That's because you like to use a gag otherwise you complain they’re too loud,"

"And yet they always come back for seconds,"

"That's enough about Ranpo's sex life!" Dazai interrupted. "What if you traumatise Chuuya and he never wants to have sex with me again! Think about me guys!"

"Good. Suffer." Ranpo and Yosano both managed to say in sync.

They ignored Dazai's whining in favour of turning to Chuuuya.

"I think it's time we had the shovel talk," Yosano said, a glint of something in her eyes that made Chuuya gulp.

"Oh, definitely," Ranpo's grin was somehow worse.

"You do actually care about me!" Dazai was ignored again.

"See, Dazai is an idiot-"

"Hey!"

"But he's our idiot," Ranpo started. "So if you hurt him we will ruin your life. Welp that's pretty much all we have to say,"

"Yep, just be yourself, Dazai's the more likely one to screw this up," Yosano swatted again the pillow Dazai threw at her.

"I can't tell if I'm touched or offended,"

"Get over it,"

Chuuya looked at Dazai and then at Ranpo and Yosano. It was clear that they would make good on their threat, which was fine by Chuuya because he had no intention of ever hurting Dazai and if he did he would welcome whatever karma they brought him.

"Got it," he nodded. "If I ever hurt him feel free to ruin my life,"

Ranpo and Yosano exchanged a look. "We'll hold you to that," Yosano nodded.

A few days later, after Tachihara was told about the shovel talk Chuuya was given, he insisted on giving one himself. So here the new couple were, sitting in front of Tachihara and Akutagawa... for some reason.

"Why am I here?" Akutagawa demanded, looking like he would rather be anywhere else.

"Because! You're Chuuya's friend too!" Tachihara insisted. "So you also need to be here to threaten Dazai,"

"Am I supposed to consider them threatening...?" Dazai whispered to Chuuya. "I mean, I can maybe see Akutagawa being a threat, I feel he'd stab me with no hesitation. But Tachihara is... a little goofy,"

"I heard that!" Tachihara jumped up, looking offended. "I'm extremely threatening!"

"You couldn't threaten a five year old," Akutagawa informed him.

"I could too!"

And for some reason the group then found themselves on the street with Tachihara looking for a five year old to threaten. Chuuya was just trying to act like he didn't know them. He didn't feel like getting arrested today.

"Aren't you going to stop him?" Akutagawa asked, also looking ashamed.

Dazai, unsurprisingly, was egging Tachihara on. Chuuya suspected the only reason this was happening was because Dazai thought it would be funny as soon as Tachihara suggested it. He then did everything in his power to hype the redhead up until he ran out the door determined to find a small child.

"I would... but honestly I can't be bothered,"

"Fair enough,"

"If Dazai goes to prison I guess I'll do long distance,"

"Don't be ridiculous, Dazai won't get caught," Akutagawa had a point. Dazai wouldn't get caught. Tachihara certainly would though. "At least my life will be peaceful after the idiot gets locked up,"

"You'll miss him when he's gone,"

"I find the very idea of that repulsive," and it showed on the emo's face.

It wasn't until a small child actually did come along that Chuuya practically leapt over there to grab Tachihara before he could do something incredibly stupid. Dazai almost fell over laughing and Akutagawa took the opportunity to just leave.

With a disappointed sigh that this is what his life has come to, he dragged his best friend and boyfriend back inside.

"I hate my life,"

"Nuh-uhhhh~" Dazai sang. "You love your life because I'm in it!"

"Shut up,"

"Nah! I don't think I will!"

Chapter Text

It was a nice week.

A blissful week of happiness that the two had spent ignorant of the storm that was about to befall them. Now, however, they faced one another without a hit of mercy to be seen.

"Dazai," Chuuya greeted, curtly.

"Chuuya," Dazai narrowed his eyes looking down at his opponent.

"Any last words?" Chuuya wondered, cockily tilting his head with a grin.

"I don't think you should be the one saying that," Dazai's smile was tight.

"Oh my god! Stop being so dramatic, it's just bowling!" Atsushi cried out from somewhere behind them but went largely ignored.

Tension was too high to listen to some dumb tiger who doesn't understand how competitive bowling is.

"Shut up, Weretiger," tell him Akutagawa. We take bowling very seriously here.

"You shut up first, eyebrowless emo!"

"Oh? Am I about to see your competitive side," Lucy smirked looking very entertained at how Atsushi suddenly grew a spine. "How aggressive~"

As the albino floundered to try and convince her that he wasn't aggressive and that Akutagawa just got on his nerves, Dazai felt the need to chime in with, "Well, he did throw that chair that one time~"

"A chair?" Lucy was doubled over laughing now, Dazai alongside her.

"So immature," Chuuya rolled his eyes, but his own smile betrayed him.

"Guys! Please stop bringing that up!"

The teams were six on six, on Dazai's teams were:

Dazai, Atsushi, Lucy, Ranpo, Yosano and Kunikida.

Chuuya's team: Chuuya, Akutagawa, Gin, Tachihara, Higuchi and-

"Wait, whose the last member of your team?" Yosano frowned, realising there was only five, not six. Her, Ranpo and Kunikida had gone to buy the snack and drinks, the blonde insisting on accompanying them so Ranpo did not buy the entire supply.

"Ah, my older sister is joining us, she should be here soon," Chuuya answered her, thanking Kunikida as he handed him his vanilla milkshake.

"Heh~ so basic," Dazai snickered.

"You're literally drinking right now," Chuuya pointed at the cocktail in Dazai's hand. "When your aim goes to crap I will be the one laughing,"

"Oh, Chuuya, Chuuya, Chuuya~" Dazai sighed as he was very disappointed in him. "My aim gets better after I drink! Besides not all of us are lightweights who get drunk off one drink, now leave me and My Sex on the Beach alone,"

"Hmm, I might get that one next," Yosano nodded, sipping on her Pornstar Martini.

The two for reasons unknown to Chuuya went out of their way to only ever order the cocktails with dirty names. They were children,

"Weaklings," Tachihara declared, downing a shot. Chuuya has no idea what the shot was.

Dazai and Yosano exchanged a look.

"Oh hell. That's a challenge if I ever heard one," they both stood up and made a beeline to the poor teenager who had the misfortune of working today and who was just trying to make popcorn for another customer. He did not deserve to have to deal with those idiots.

Chuuya sighed as they both did two shots each and came back looking vaguely disgusted.

"What did you shot?" Kunikida frowned, taking notice of their faces.

"Absinthe," Yosano stuck her tongue out a little. "It never stops being gross,"

"Why the fuck would you take absinthe?"

"Well I said 'should we shot Baby Guinness', and Dazai said and I quote 'ooh I love Baby Guinness', and then he ordered four shots of absinthe," and that was all the explanation they got before Kouyou entered.

"Chuuya," she smiled at him warmly. "It's been a while,"

"Ane-san," Chuuya practically beamed once he caught sight of his sister. "Dazai get over here,"

Dazai wandered over, looking a little out of it but not that drunk. "Ah, Kouyou-san yes? Pleasure to meet you," Chuuya didn't miss the way Dazai clutched the book in his pocket slightly as he made the introduction.

He must be nervous. To try and ease his worries he slipped their hands together, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. Kouyou's eyes followed the movement but made no comment.

"Well hello gorgeous!" Yosano slurred, her cocktail almost empty even though it had been almost full a minute ago. "You, my dear, are stunning,"

"She's been drinking," Chuuya explained seeing Kouyou's baffled expression. "And so has he," he pointed at the giggling Dazai.

"You've been here ten minutes, how much could they of had in that time?"

"You underestimate us, m'lady," Yosano winked.

"They did shots," Chuuya sighed.

"Dazai, I'm already ahead of you, look my drinks empty,"

"What! I was distracted,"

And Chuuya sighed again as Dazai downed his drink as quickly as he could.

"Now that you're here we can start," he shrugged. At least his team had a higher chance of winning.

They start the game, Chuuya confidently throwing the bowling ball and immediately getting a strike.

With a bow he received his applause.

Dazai was first on his team and managed to get a spare, sticking his tongue out at Chuuya.

Kunikida was efficient, scoring rather high with the occasional spare and one strike.

Yosano, somehow in heels while drunk, managed to get a strike. Chuuya has no idea how.

Atsushi was decent typically knocking down most of the pins.

Lucy was the same as Atsushi, nothing special but then again she didn't seem too interested in winning bowling, more interested in heckling Atsushi.... Her own teammate.

Ranpo was just awful, consistently getting gutter balls and then shrugging like he didn't just drop the ball on the floor and let it roll into the gutter.

Gin, turned out to be the best player on Chuuya's team, she was ruthless, constantly scoring 8's and above.

Tachihara was somehow mixing between getting a good score and then getting a gutter ball on his next turn. He was a complete loose cannon.

Higuchi, for some reason was throwing the ball with both hands, kinda like one would when cosplaying Goku and throwing a Kamehamaha. For reason Chuuya cannot comprehend, she was doing well with it.

Akutagawa was pretty consistent, but he spent his time smirking when Atsushi screwed up and just trying to score higher than him to prove whatever petty point he was trying to prove.

Kouyou, as Chuuya knew, was a brilliant bowler, which was why it was so baffling to see her mess up on purpose and then... ask Yosano for help with teaching her???????????? The fuck?????????????????

Chuuya chose not to pay attention to it.

Tachihara stood, walking backwards dramatically, before taking off running towards the lanes and throwing the ball as hard as he could. Somehow, despite tripping as he did so, he knocked down eight pins.

"The fuck?" Chuuya muttered as his drunk friend laid on the floor laughing his head off. The three's drinking competition had continued to Chuuya's chagrin.

"What happens if you throw the ball through you legs?" Chuuya heard Higuchi asked herself and watched on with horror as on her next turn she stood facing them and leant down to throw the ball onto the lane through her legs.

"Hey Ranpo," Dazai called out on the sweet addicts turn. "What happens if you push the ball,"

"Push it?" Kunikida frowned. "How is that helpful,"

"Well he's probably gonna get another gutter ball, might as well experiment," Dazai shrugged. "Put it on the floor and then push it as hard as you can,"

Ranpo looked at him like he was an idiot but did it anyway.

Naturally, it moved extremely slowly and immediately fell into the gutter.

"Meh, worth the try," Dazai grinned.

"Hehe on my last go, this will be my ultimate throw!" Dazai declared very dramatically. With a long wind up he threw his arm forwards as hard as he could, only to smack himself in the leg with the bowling ball and for it to land in the next lane and roll along never to be seen again.

"... that went exactly as I planned," was all Dazai said before grabbing another ball and throwing it normally.

Everyone was too busy laughing at him to care about how many pins he knocked down.

(Chuuya overheard Dazai whining to Yosano how badly that hurt his leg later)

Atsushi had been playing with the rails up for his turn since he had told them all from the beginning if you put them down he will get every single gutter ball. The same offer was given to Ranpo who refused for some reason.

Despite this, he still somehow managed to throw a ball so off course that it rolled over the top of the rail and into the gutter. No one really knows how he managed it but it was hilarious.

Ranpo was the last player up, everyone else already finished their turns.

With a grin he turned to them all and without breaking eye contact threw the ball.

And got a strike.

And then walked off laughing manically.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"RANPO GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Once their game was over they all spent another hour in the arcade, wasting their money on games but laughing as they did so.

There was some weird hungry hippo game where you got sit on the hippos and collect the balls. Dazai forced them all the play giggling like a child.

"Dazai, we're leaving you need to get off the hippo," Chuuya told him as everyone waited by the exit for them.

"Martin,"

"What?"

"The hippo is called Martin," Dazai informed him.

"Okay... you still need to get off Martin,"

"Chuuya used his name~ yay~"

"Come on, Dazai,"

"I'll leave on one condition,"

Chuuya raised his eyebrows. "Which is?"

"Chuuya has to give me a kiss!"

"Hah!" A blush spread across his face immediately. "Stop being an idiot,"

"Noooooo! Chuuya needs to give me a kiss or I'll date Martin instead, we'll be very happy together won't we, Martin," when Dazai started talking to the hippo Chuuya realised he probably should have cut him off a while ago. There were children around and his boyfriend was drunk and hugging a hippo.

"Fine, come here," Chuuya rolled his eyes affectionately.

The way Dazai beamed at him was adorable. Chuuya gave him a quick peck on the lips and ignored his whines. "You will get more if you're a good boy and come home,"

That shut him up pretty quickly and Dazai was the one dragging him to the exit.

Chuuya's is pretty sure he saw Kouyou give Yosano her number but he did not want to think about it.

He regretted inviting her now.

Chapter Text

"Good morning, Chuu!" Dazai greeted with a dramatic flourish reserved for only those he is truly comfortable around.

"Mornin'," he greeted with a sleepy wave. He'd been up all night studying for his exam tomorrow and would likely do another all nighter tonight. Just student things.

Even so, seeing Dazai's beaming face energises him a little. Enough to give him a small smile.

"I told you to go to bed, you should really listen to me," Dazai sighed like Chuuya was a stubborn child, but Chuuya could see he was worried. Yes, he was stubborn but that didn't mean his boyfriend could give him such disapproving looks over his habit of overworking himself. He felt his ears heat up a little, still unused to the idea that Dazai not only returned his feelings but was his boyfriend now.

"You were up all night too!" Chuuya pointed out.

Dazai smirked, "I'm not an itty bitty chibiko-"

"OI!"

"And chibiko's need their sleep,"

"I hate you so much," Chuuya grumbled, getting started on making Dazai's usual order as the brunette just snickered.

"Oh, that reminds me," Dazai piped up when Chuuya finished his drink. "Akiko won't shut up about your sister, Kouyou, apparently she hasn't called yet,"

"Oh god, I hoped I imagined that," Chuuya groaned. It was so gross to think about his sister dating, especially one of his friends and even worse one of his friends who has slept with his boyfriend. There was so much there to unpack that Chuuya did not want to think about it.

"Unfortunately, but at least you haven't had to put up with her whining,"

"Why doesn't Yosano call her, she doesn't seem like the type to sit around and wait to be called," Chuuya frowned, the idea of someone as confident as Yosano not taking matters into her own hands was odd.

"She gave Kouyou her number," Dazai shrugged. "Look, we've already tracked down her instagram, it wasn't hard all we had to do was go through your posts and you've tagged her in loads, but Atsushi-kun told us we were being creepy so I'm asking you if you have heard anything,"

"He's right," Chuuya snorted, "that is creepy,"

"I like to think of it as being resourceful," Dazai shrugged.

"Well ignoring the fact that my boyfriend is a stalker, I think Ane-san mentioned she was swamped at work lately, she's probably just busy," Chuuya reasoned, knowing full that Kouyou would not take Yosano's number without intending on using it. She wasn't the type to beat around the bush, letting her opinions be known to everyone. They were similar in that regard, only Kouyou had more tact while Chuuya could be a little volatile.

No he did not have anger issues. People exaggerate.

Dazai hummed, tapping his fingers against the counter in thought. He was so pretty when he actually shut his mouth. Chuuya took the moment to just admire the way his lashes fluttered and his lips pursed as he came to a conclusion in his internal debate.

"If this is all I go back with Aki might stab me to death," he announced.

"She won't," Chuuya lied.

"Arghhhhh!" Dazai whined. "Why do I have to be the messenger here!" And then he perked up. "Chuuya, baby~"

Chuuya smelt troubled.

"No."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask," Dazai pouted, like a big old baby. "I just want to borrow your phone,"

"Absolutely not!"

"If you don't have the answers I just have to go right to the source, I'll just call Kouyou and ask. I assume she'll pick up if she sees it's you calling," he announced absolutely shamelessly.

"No,"

"Please honey," Dazai gave his best puppy-dog eyes which made him look absolutely adorable and Chuuya almost gave in but he managed to stay strong. It was hard.

"Pet names won't sway me,"

"Are you sure~ I think you like them, don't you baby~"

"I do not!"

His red cheeks were not evidence of anything he might feel hearing Dazai call him ‘baby’.

"Whatever you say," Dazai laughed like the menace he is.

Chuuya was spared from answering by a customer entering. "Go sit down and drink your coffee, you menace,"

Dazai did as he was instructed, but not without laughing again at Chuuya's deflection.

About a half hour later Yosano came running in, looking completely frantic.

"She's been busy!" She all but screeched at Chuuya.

He looked over at Dazai who mouthed a quick 'sorry' at him, before shrinking down in his seat so Yosano wouldn't see him. Traitor!!

"Uh... yeah," was all Chuuya had to say.

"So she hasn't mentioned me to you at all?" She threw another question at him and Chuuya was starting to feel like he was in an interrogation.

"No, we haven't really had much of a chance to talk since bowling though," the insane gleam in Yosano's eyes terrified him.

"No one has ever not called me before! No one!" She wailed. "And your sister is so hot! Is it me, did I do something wrong, I know it's not my appearance, I'm hot, but I was drunk maybe I weirded her out! Oh god, did I say something weird to her!"

Chuuya wasn't really sure what to say to that. Yosano wasn't wrong, she was hot, but the utter confidence she had in herself was impressive. Again, it was completely true though and Chuuya respected it.

"I don't think you did anything, Ane-san is also pretty terrifying so if she wasn't interested in you she probably would have threatened you the moment you started flirting with her," Chuuya could still remember all the times he has witnessed his sister calmly explain to men the ways she could mutilate their genitals while sipping on her tea.

"Wonderful!" Yosano immediately brightened. "Maybe I'll take the initiative and message her on instagram then, I'll just say you gave it to me,"

Chuuya supposed that was one way of beating the stalker allegations.

"Right," he didn't voice those thoughts.

"I'll have a Chai tea, please," she ordered. "I'll go sit over there with the idiots trying to hide from me,"

Ah. So she did spot Dazai.

As they got up to leave Dazai approached one last time, just him a quick peck over the counter and whispered, "thanks for that, I think this is the first time I've seen her genuinely like someone, I promise she's not usually this crazy,"

"Nah, it's fine, I think I was worse over you," Chuuya chuckled remembering all the vent sessions he would give to Tachihara over eye contact with Dazai. The poor guy sat there looking bored as shit.

"I'm flattered, I'll see you tonight," Dazai waved as he left, him and Yosano chatting amicably.

Chapter Text

Dazai can personally attest that Tuesday was the worst day of the week. The absolute worst. No, he wasn't being dramatic. Nothing good ever happened on a Tuesday and it was a useless, pointless day.

In any case, it was Tuesday.

He was running late (as usual) to meet up with Chuuya, it wasn't a date because if everytime they met up was a date then it would ruin the special occasions where they got dressed up and put in the effort to keep the spark of romance alive.

Although Ranpo and Yosano keep telling him that the spark won't be in danger after three months. But Dazai didn't want to chance it! He needed Chuuya to stay with him for life because Chuuya had carved out a place in his heart that no one and nothing could ever fill. Ergo, Dazai must do everything short of kidnapping to keep him around.

Kidnapping was Plan C.

He was fairly confident in his ability to evade the authorities should it ever come down to it. The police would never catch him.

But his emergency plans aside, he was meeting with Chuuya to head to the arcade where they would settle a series of debates they have been having. (Chuuya had the audacity to suggest that Gale was the worst person in the Hunger Games for what he did to Prim. True Prim deserved better! But Coin was worse! Especially watching the movies, something about her face pissed him off.)

Also Dazai has been trying to get Chuuya to read Song of Achilles, claiming that Chuuya was the Achilles to his Patroclus but Chuuya keeps putting it off saying he's trying to finish One Piece first. He's only on episode 337! That will take forever! When Dazai wins the bet he's going to force Chuuya to read it.

In any case Dazai was late and Chuuya had told him that if he is late then he will have points deducted which means he might lose the bet which means he can't force Chuuya to obsess with him over his newest obsessions which is just plain rude and Dazai absolutely cannot have that.

Therefore he has taken extreme measures and actually changed the time on his phone to make sure it was twenty minutes slower and that way he can argue that Chuuya was early.

A perfect plan really.

He slowed down as he approached the arcade, if he is on time (because according to his wrong phone he is) then he would not be running which means he needs to stop running to appear normal. His plan was perfect and sure it might be considered morally wrong to gaslight your boyfriend, but Dazai never claimed to be morally right.

"You're late," Chuuya announced as soon as Dazai casually strolled over there like a person who was on time.

He faked a blink of confusion and tilted his head to the side in a way he knew Chuuya found adorable. Unfortunately the redhead's stern face did not change so Dazai had to up the innocent act.

"What is Chuuya talking about~" he whined. "I made sure to be on time! I'm not losing the bet for such a stupid reason,"

"You are literally seventeen minutes late," Chuuya declared, showing Dazai his phone. Dazai pretended to look a little guilty, but made sure it clearly looked like it was fake. If Dazai actually looked guilty about something then Chuuya would be more suspicious.

"Ehe~" he sheepishly pulled out his own phone, showing Chuuya the incorrect time. "I messed with Chuuya's phone last night,"

"YOU WHAT!" Chuuya screeched.

"Ow! Not so loud!" Dazai covered his ears to prevent any bleeding from that scream. "I thought it would be funny,"

"I waited here for twenty minutes just because you thought it would be funny!"

"Seventeen minutes actually,"

"Dazai!"

"You were the one being all annoying about being on time-"

"Being punctual is a very normal thing! It's basic manners!"

"Okay but like time management is hard,"

"It's really not,"

"Yes it is!" Dazai whined like a child. "One second you have ages so you start another task or chill on your phone for a little while and next thing you know you're running late! It's impossible!"

"That's just you getting distracted and losing track of time!"

"Time isn't even real, Chuuya~"

"Time is definitely real you waste of bandages!"

'No, time is like maths and sleep, not real stuff," Dazai huffed like Chuuya was the one being difficult. "It's all social constructs,"

"What do you mean maths and sleep isn't real?" Chuuya looked so utterly done with him that Dazai really had to resist the urge to pat himself on the back.

Marvellous distraction, Dazai. He really was the best.

"I am so done with your dumb ass," Chuuya sighed and Dazai bit back a grin. "Let's just go inside,"

Yay! Dazai managed to annoy him into forgetting the whole on time thing.

They spent the next hour running around through the arcade, shouting and laughing, to the point a member of staff threatened to kick them out if they didn't quiet down.

"Dance Dance Revolution is cheating!" Dazai insisted. "You always win because you're more athletic than I am!"

"So what?" Chuuya shrugged. "It's a game and we're going to play,"

"It's not fair playing something you have a clear advantage on!"

"Life's not fair," Chuuya stuck his tongue out, smug grin in face that Dazai wanted to bite. And then kiss. But mostly bite. "Buckle up, buttercup,"

"I hate you," Dazai grumbled.

"Heh, sore loser," Chuuya snickered and Dazai was outraged. HE was the one who made fun of the other! CHUUYA taking the piss out of HIM was outrageous!

This was horrible. Utterly and completely disgraceful.

If he tripped Chuuya while they danced then no he did not.

He was forced to run for his life, sprinting out the arcade and down the street as an angry chibi demon shrieked at him to stop so he could kill him and Dazai laughed so hard he couldn't breath that made him stop and then Chuuya tackled him to the ground and they actually took a few bystanders down with them but neither cared.

Chuuya was screaming at him about cheating and how it didn't count and how he was the absolute worst person to ever exist but Dazai wasn't listening he was too busy gasping for breath in between fits of giggles.

"Just for this you should forfeit!" Chuuya declared.

"No way!" Dazai yelled back, stopping laughing. This was far more important!

"It doesn't matter anyway," Chuuya smirked down at him in a way that Dazai should not find so attractive but he did and maybe he should see a doctor because what does it say about his taste that he found someone who was just threatening him so attractive.

Of course, Chuuya wouldn't actually go through with any of his threats. But still, Dazai really liked it when Chuuya yelled at him.

Maybe the people at the psych ward were right when they threw him in there. Oh well, if loving Chuuya to this extent could be consider insanity, then Dazai would happily let the insanity consume him. He welcomed it in fact, because being this crazy felt so exhilarating and he never felt as alive as he did when Chuuya was near.

"I love you," he blurted out, not even listening to whatever Chuuya was saying.

"Huh?" In an instant Chuuya's faced turned crimson as a furious flush took over. He floundered a little, looking so flustered by Dazai's random declaration but all Dazai could think was he was adorable and simply the most stunning sight imaginable.

Absentmindedly, he reached out to twirl a strand of Chuuya's hair, tucking it behind his ear and pulling him down by the back of his neck to crash their lips together.

Chuuya let out an embarrassed little 'mmfph!' but he eagerly kissed back once the surprise faded.

They didn't stop until an unimpressed cough reminded them that they were laying in the middle of the street. Oops.

Chuuya yelled at him a little more for that. "In the middle of the street, Dazai!" He ranted. "There's a time and place for that stuff and it is not in the middle of the street! No one likes public indecency!"

"Eh~ who cares about other people!" Dazai pouted, he was currently mad at Chuuya.

"It's called being considerate!"

"Whatever," Dazai refused to look at him.

"What are you doing?" Dazai wasn't looking but he could hear the confusion in Chuuya's voice. Good. Chuuya finally noticed that Dazai was angry. It took him long enough. "Why aren't you looking at me?"

"You didn't say it back," Dazai mumbled.

"Hah?"

"I said 'I love you' and Chuuya didn't say it back!" He complained dramatically but it was okay for some drama in this case. How dare Chuuya not say it back! If he really loved Dazai then he should yell it from the rooftops and say it every five seconds so Dazai can hear it every five seconds and he should certainly never not say it back when Dazai worked up the courage to say the three sacred words.

Dazai was not insecure! No way!

But if he was, this is the kind of thing that would bring out those insecurities. Because what if the reason Chuuya didn't say it back was because he no longer loves Dazai?

Not that Dazai is insecure or anything.

It's hypothetical after all.

Chuuya looked at him for a minute while Dazai continued to brood. Not sulk, because he was not a baby!

"Are you serious-" Chuuya clicked his tongue nod reached out to grab Dazai's shirt collar and pull him down so they were eye level.

Dazai carefully kept his face blank.

"Of course I love you, you dumb idiot," Chuuya said with such fervour that Dazai felt that little part of him that had coiled up in his gut like a snake, finally unravel.

"That's not a nice way of saying it," Dazai pointed out.

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "If you're doubting my love then you must be the dumbest idiot on the planet- nah the universe actually," Chuuya informed him. "But that's fine because you're my idiot,"

"I'll have you know I'm a genius," Dazai protest indignant at being called an idiot. Making sure to ignore the part of him that warmed at being called Chuuya's.

"Then act like it," Chuuya connected their lips for just a split second, a small peck because they were still in public. But Dazai grinned dopily anyway.

He wondered is kissing Chuuya would ever become old, because every time their lips connected he felt as excited as the first time. He felt giddy and so unbelievably happy that he almost couldn't believe this was his reality.

They made their way back into the arcade before Dazai remembered what Chuuya had been saying before he derailed the yelling. "Hey, Chuu, why did you say it didn't matter earlier?"

"Hmm," Chuuya grinned back at him, swinging their joined hands with a gleeful look in his beautiful blue eyes that made Dazai melt but also incredibly suspicious. "Because you were late, therefore I win by default,"

Fuck. He realised.

"What are you talking about," Dazai lied. "I wasn't late, I messed with your phone remember,"

"You didn't actually think I would fall for that..." Chuuya raised his eyebrows looking so miffed at the implication that Dazai himself felt a little stupid for thinking it. "... you're fucking joking,"

"In my defence-" Dazai started and then stopped. "Yeah... I don't have a defence I was jut hoping to distract you enough that you wouldn't notice,"

Hearing Chuuya's laugh felt like a nice reward for his stupidity, even if it didn't fully take away the embarrassment of being caught.

As a nice compromise, (since they technically never finished all the games in the arcade so Dazai declared that the bet was null and Chuuya told him he was being a big baby) Dazai was forced to buy their slushies as they each attempted to tackle the claw machine.

Dazai bought just a blue raspberry, whereas Chuuya slurped a half blue raspberry and half strawberry. When Chuuya stuck his tongue out after Dazai managed to secure the cat plushie in two attempts after Chuuya had already wasted five coins on it, his tongue was blue. Dazai giggled and stuck his own out.

Chuuya pulled him closer and pulled out his phone, taking a selfie of them both with their blue tongues out.

"There we go," Chuuya sent it to him quickly before his phone away. "Wanna go get some actual food now?"

"Can we get cake?"

"I said actual food,"

"Cake is food!"

"You know what I mean!"

"If I eat a sandwich can I have cake after?"

"Why are you asking me like I'm your mum?" Chuuya rolled his eyes.

"Well, my mum is dead s0," Chuuya spat out the unfortunately timed sip of slushie at that.

"Hah?" He spluttered. "Don't just spring that onto someone!"

But Dazai was too busy laughing to really care. He didn't give Chuuya a chance to give any kind of condolences, simply dragged him out the arcade and down the street to the nearest McDonalds. He was in the mood for some nuggets.

Chuuya got the hint not to talk about it and instead asked him what book he is currently reading. Dazai lit up at the mention of books and reached into his pocket to show Chuuya.

"It's called The Shadows of the Wind, it's pretty cool because the title is the name of a book within the book, I only started it last night so I've only read 100 pages so far, but it's pretty good! The best part is it's a part of a series so after I finish this one there's another four books to read too!" Dazai excitedly rambled.

But then he realised his pocket was empty.

Huh.

Oda had sewn an extra pocket into the inside of all his jackets, one that was big enough to carry a book, so it wasn't as if he could have put it in a different pocket. He also had not touched the book the whole time he had been with Chuuya. In fact, the last time he saw the book, had been at home.

Oh god.

Dazai left the house without a book.

Was it hard to breathe all of a sudden?

Oh god. Dazai couldn't breathe.