Archive of Our Own ^beta

Aether found him mid-prayer in the late hours of the night.

Copia knelt in front of the large statue of their Dark Lord, one hand close to his chest in typical prayer fashion and the other up against his neck. Aether couldn't hear much of what he was saying, but it sounded breathy and jumbled, not unlike how he was when he had to speak during Black Mass. He waited until Copia was done to quietly walk over.

"Cardinal?"

Copia jolted, only settling when he saw who it was.

"Oh, Aether, h-hello!" He waved. Aether noticed the hand on his neck quivering. "What are you doing up?"

"Just getting a snack. You?"

"I was— ah— inspired to pray. Three a.m. is the Devil's hour, y'know."

Aether hummed. While Copia was far more informal with his ghouls than the Papas, there was still respect between the two, boundaries that Aether wouldn't cross without the Cardinal's permission.

"Aether?"

"Yes?"

Copia looked at him. Aether could see his hands shaking slightly.

"When your ghoul friends before you were sent back to the Pit, how- how did you manage?"

The question didn't shock Aether much, but wow, that was a deep question for this late at night.

"I guess I just... I don't know. I had the rest of the pack with me. That helped."

Copia blinked and looked down at the ground.

"Look," said Aether, "it's late. We have practice tomorrow. You should go back to bed."

"I will, I will," Copia responded absentmindedly, "I just... need to sit here for a minute. Pray a bit more."

"I'm sure our Dark Lord wouldn't mind if you finished your prayer early-"

"I have to do this," Copia's voice was more firm, but Aether could hear it tremble. "I have to believe that Lucifer is watching over us. I... I have to believe that they- that he found peace after death."

Aether's silence caused Copia to turn back to the statue.

"I'll leave you to it," murmured Aether. "Goodnight, Cardinal."

"Goodnight," came Copia's shaky whisper.

Copia rubbed at his eyes for what seemed to be the millionth time that evening, hoping the sensation would at least wake him up a little bit. He knew his paint was probably smudged to Hell and back. That was the least of his concerns.

It was currently Black Mass, everyone listening to Nihil drone on and on about things that any experienced member of the ministry already knew. He couldn't pay attention. Not only was his mind too fuzzy to comprehend a single word, but he was filled with a bitter rage. 

It should be Primo up there, with his calm yet imposing demeanor. Or Secondo, with his passionate, fiery speech. Or Terzo, who always held every single person's attention whenever he spoke. The three of them should have at least been on the sidelines as the old man spoke. 

He shuddered thinking about them, how they'd shown up in his dreams a couple nights before. The gloved hands of an unknown ghoul giving him a gift, unwrapping it only to find Terzo's bloodied head and dead eyes staring into his own, Primo and Secondo's bodies restraining him as the ghoul inched closer... Copia hadn't even been able to scream when the syringe plunged into his neck before he woke up in tears. Maybe if he stayed up long enough, his body would give out and allow him a dreamless sleep.

He snapped back to reality when he heard the Satanic Bible in Nihil's hands slam shut. Those in the pews stood up and hurried to get out. Not that Copia could blame them. With a wave of his hand, Nihil dismissed him, as well, and he was more than willing to shuffle out into the hallway.

He watched the Siblings of Sin disperse to their respective duties. Right, his duties... What were those, again? 

He couldn't help but let out a frustrated groan. There was probably so much to do especially considering the fact that he was the closest thing to Papa now but his mind couldn't focus and his eyes couldn't stay open and he was so lost and everything would be okay if his brothers were still here to guide him–

"Copia?"

The use of his name made him whip his head around. Cirrus stood alone in the now empty hallway, her unmasked face showing a look of deep concern. 

"Ah, Cirrus!" He hoped she didn't see the tears that had sprung to his eyes. "How, uh, how can I help?"

She didn't say anything as she came closer to him and placed a hand on his cheek, a touch he couldn't help but lean into.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" She murmured.

"I..." he squeaked, "I don't know."

She was a good few inches taller than him, which only made him feel more like a whiny child. His cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.

"C'mon, the others and I are having a game night. Scrabble."

Copia managed a chuckle. "Okie-dokie."

Cirrus's hand moved to his, and the two walked through the halls to the ghoul commons past a few confused Siblings. 

The ghouls had been allowed to decorate their commons themselves, and Copia was proud to say that they had done a splendid job. Lights were strung up along the walls, emitting a soft, warm glow. Rain was setting up the game, and the rest of the ghouls were sat in beanbag chairs and blankets.

"There's too many of us for a regular game, so we made teams," Cirrus explained. "Winners get to decide the game for next time."

Copia nodded, taking in the cozy atmosphere. Aether waved from where he sat on the couch, Swiss and Cumulus in the beanbags next to him.

"Dibs on Copia!" Swiss called, beckoning the Cardinal to join their side. Dew blew a raspberry and threw a Scrabble piece at Swiss before getting smacked upside the head by Mountain. Copia chuckled as he went to sit down beside Aether, who wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close.

"About a couple nights ago," Aether started. "Is everything okay?"

Copia inhaled before answering. "Sì, sì, everything's fine."

"I'm just concerned. If something's up, you know you can talk to-"

"Aether," Copia looked him in the eye. "I know, but please, not now."

Aether sighed. "Okay."

They were distracted by Swiss and Cumulus huddling around them to decide a word. They ultimately decided on "kerfuffle," which Dew objected to, saying that it wasn't a real word. The thing Copia noticed, though, was that as the game went on, not even Dew was shouting. Even when they were infuriated, it was nothing more than a grumble or a whisper. The soft sounds of talking and the feeling of Aether's arm around him were quickly lulling him to sleep.

"You can sleep," Aether murmured, watching Copia try to fight it, "It's okay."

Copia shook his head, his voice slurred and barely above a whisper. "No, not okay."

If his eyes weren't nearly shut, maybe he would have seen the look of concern on Aether's face.

"We're here. Nothing's gonna hurt you."

Copia let out one last sleepy whine before his eyes fully closed. His breathing evened out a few moments later. The ghouls continued to play like normal, Aether having told them about Copia's state before Cirrus went out to fetch him.

About an hour went by, a time filled with a laughter and Dew furiously googling words that he didn't think were legit. A sudden noise from beside Aether drew the laughter to stop.

"Copia?" His voice was barely above a whisper as he looked down at the man.

Copia let out the same, sob-like sound, his grip on Aether getting tighter. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his chest rose in fast, shallow breaths. Swiss went to jostle him, but Aether shook his head.

"Don't wake him," he said, his voice tinged with sympathy for the Cardinal. "That'd only make it worse."

The group watched Copia tremble, his eyes twitching behind their lids until they flew open. He immediately pushed away from Aether, curling up into the smallest ball he could on the other side of the couch. Aether was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of terror that radiated from the man's aura. His wild eyes were glossy with tears that were on the verge of spilling, and one of his hands was pressed to his neck again. Cumulus tried to scoot closer to comfort him, but he jerked away the moment she moved. 

"Copia, hey," Aether murmured, inching closer. Copia didn't respond, his gaze having moved to his hands. His eyes were dark, unseeing, everything around him having fallen on deaf ears. Aether wrapped one of his own hands around Copia's, the other reaching up to cup his white face. Aether shushed him softly when he flinched at the contact with a whine. 

"It's okay. It's just me."

Copia finally met his eyes. His hands trembled as he squeezed Aether's.

The ghoul smiled. 

Copia looked around at the other ghouls, all of whom looked at him with the same concern. His breathing hadn't slowed any, but his eyes were clearer, and that was a win in Aether's book. 

"C'mon, let's go for a walk, clear your head. That sound good?"

Copia nodded, grabbing onto Aether as he stood with trembling legs. He stuck close to the ghoul as the two made their way out of the room. As they walked down the hallway, Aether watched out of the corner of his eye as the Cardinal flinched at any unexpected noise, like a creak of the wood or the laughter of a Sibling in another room. 

"Let's stop by your room," Aether made sure to keep his voice low and gentle. "I don't imagine sleeping in that cassock would be comfortable."

Copia shook his head in agreement and let himself be led to his quarters. His room wasn't too far from the ghoul wing; he was expected to be Papa soon, after all. He would  need to establish a closeness with his ghouls. Not that he hadn't done that already. 

The pair rounded the corner and stepped into Copia's room, greeted with the soft glow of a lava lamp. Aether went over to his dresser, pulling out a baggy t-shirt and a pair of tracksuit pants.

"Think you can go wipe off your paint in the bathroom?" asked Aether.

Copia nodded, still not calm enough to speak. The poor man looked exhausted.

"Good. I'll go make you something to drink. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Copia watched him leave before heading to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Aether was getting ingredients out of the pantry and fridge. He'd made this drink a couple times: he'd gotten it from some Studio Ghibli movie they all watched one night. He got a cup from the cabinet, the one with the chipped rim that he'd seen Copia drink out of the most. He coated the bottom of the cup with honey and added a dash of cinnamon before going over to the sink. Hot water filled the bottom half of the cup, and milk filled it to the brim. He got a spoon out and mixed the contents together.

The sound of footsteps alerted him. Copia's paint was washed off and he'd changed into more comfortable clothes. He looked up at Aether with tired eyes. The ghoul gave him a soft smile.

"Feel better?"

Copia nodded and went to sit down. Aether picked up the mug and set it on the counter closer to him. Copia brought the cup to his lips, and Aether could see his eyes widen at the taste. 

"Good?"

Copia nodded again before setting the cup down. He crossed his arms and rested them on the counter, not meeting Aether's eyes.

"Mi displace, Aether," his voice was rough with a lack of use. "I hope you know I'm normally not this... pathetic."

Aether took a minute to comprehend his words. The first words to come out of his mouth, and they were an apology. He would've been angry, but he didn't know who to be angry at.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Copia."

Copia didn't look up at him. He didn't believe him.

"Do you... do you wanna talk about it? Your dream?" The ghoul asked.

He could see Copia swallow the lump in his throat. "It's nothing. Stupid stuff."

"Copia," Aether's voice was firm but still gentle. "It's not stupid. It's hurting you. I can feel it. I've been feeling it for a while now."

Copia's cheeks burned with shame.

"I... I have this dream where I'm in the forest. A ghoul— not one of you, just some random ghoul— he comes up to me and gives me a present. So, I open it. Inside is—" his voice hitched. Aether put a hand on his shoulder. "Inside is Terzo's head."

Aether's gaze softened. "Oh, Copia—"

"I always hold it in my dream, like I did for the photos. The others are there, too. They- they hold me down and the ghoul comes up to me and-"

"Okay, okay," Aether stopped him and put his hands in his own. "You don't need to say anything else if you don't want to."

Copia's chest heaved with every breath he took. Aether was there before he could blink, wrapping his arms around him and letting him breathe. He wasn't crying, which both relieved and surprised Aether; although, it could have been because crying took energy that he currently didn't have.

"Do you," Aether was hesitant to ask, "do you want me to use some quintessence?"

Copia looked up at him. 

"You don't have to say 'yes,' obviously, but it'd probably help you sleep. Keep the nightmares away."

"I..." Copia pondered it for a minute. "It wouldn't hurt you at all to do it, right?"

Aether chuckled and shook his head. "No, no, I'd be fine."

Copia leaned into Aether's touch a little more. "Then, I'd like that, yes."

"Your room, then?"

"A-Actually," Copia responded, "can we go back to the commons? If I won't disrupt game night again, that is."

"You didn't disrupt game night. C'mon. Don't forget your drink."

Copia grabbed the mug, Aether staying beside him in case he spilled.

"Thank you, I," he looked into Aether's eyes, "I just feel... safe, when I'm with you all."

Aether smiled at him, hoping Copia didn't see the tears that formed in his eyes at the words. As the two walked, Aether couldn't help the question that came to mind.

"What's with the whole neck thing?"

"Hm?" Copia's brow furrowed as he took a sip of his drink.

"When I saw you praying the other night, you had a hand up to your neck. You did it again tonight."

"O-oh, that, yes," Copia was clearly nervous, but he wasn't full-on panicking like just a few minutes before. "I just need to check sometimes, make sure that the ghoul in my dream didn't actually get me. That I still have a heartbeat."

"You know," Aether said after a beat, "you don't need to sleep alone on nights like that. Ghouls are pack creatures, we'd love to be there for you."

"But... what if that's almost every night?"

"Then someone'll be with you almost every night."

Copia smiled.

They eventually made their way back to the other ghouls, who were all patiently waiting for the two— or maybe just Aether— to come back. 

"Feeling better, honey?" Cumulus whispered to the Cardinal as he and Aether sat down.

Copia nodded, setting his cup on the table next to him. Aether positioned himself so that he was lying almost completely flat against the couch, beckoning Copia to join him. The man seemed hesitant. Aether slowly guided him down to rest his head on the ghoul's chest.

"Are you sure this is okay with you?" He whispered again.

Aether let out a fond sigh. "Yes, Copia. I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't."

Copia curled in closer, humming in appreciation when Aether began to run his fingers through the man's hair. The buzz of quintessence filled his head, a pleasant sensation that made him too fuzzy to think clearly. The room was filled with such a warm, radiant love. Copia could nearly cry at how safe he felt, safe for the first time since the death of his brothers. 

"You okay?" Aether whispered.

Copia just hummed again, not able to think of anything to say. His body felt heavy, especially his eyelids. Aether's hand move to scratch gently at his scalp. 

"Go back to sleep. We're here."

Copia laid his full weight on Aether's, breathing in the smell of the food lying around the room and listening to the soft laughter and banter coming from his ghouls. Nothing would hurt him here, not when he was with them. He let his eyes fall shut.

The other ghouls continued to play like normal. 

"Bullshit!" Dew exclaimed, careful not to be too loud. "That's not a real fucking word!"

"On the contrary, my fiery friend," Swiss grinned, "'crapulous' is a very real word. Look it up."

Dew's tail lashed back and forth. "I'm gonna fucking explode. Mounty, back me up here."

"That's an Aether question, not a me question," Mountain shrugged, clearly not wanting to get roped into the fire ghoul's mess.

"I don't think I'd be much help right now, either," Aether whispered.

As if on cue, Copia nuzzled even further into Aether's neck and let out a soft snore. A wave of relief washed over the ghouls, even Dew softening at the sight of their friend finally getting some rest. 

"I'll be damned," Rain whispered from where he was scrolling on his phone. He flipped the screen and showed it to Dew. Dew took the phone, his face immediately dropping.

"What? What is it?" Mountain asked, stretching to look over.

"'Crapulous,'" Dew read, "'caused by or showing the effects of alcohol.'"

He looked at Swiss. "You son of a bitch."

The room erupted into quiet laughter.

Sister Imperator wandered the halls, doing her usual routine of making sure there was no trouble, especially after the events that had occurred not too long ago. She looked down the ghoul wing, furrowing her brows at the unusual silence. The heels of her shoes clicked as she made her way to the commons. 

The door was open by a crack, too small of a slit to see inside. She pushed it open a bit, bracing for the piercing eyes of very angry, protective ghouls, only to soften at what she saw.

They were all curled up together, some on the beanbag chairs that littered the room and others on the floor, all deeply asleep. In the middle of the room lay her little Cardi, resting peacefully for the first time in ages against the quintessence ghoul. 

She was careful not to make a sound as she crept over; ghouls had very sensitive hearing, something she learned very quickly and unfortunately when she and Nihil had first spent a night together. Her hand found its way to the Cardinal's pale skin, tracing the shadows underneath his eyes before planting a kiss on his cheek. He had taken the deaths of the former Papas far worse than she'd intended; the motherly instincts buried deep inside her ached to see him in such pain. 

She turned to leave when she heard a quiet shuffle. The quintessence ghoul's eyes cracked open. The two stared at each other with a look that neither could define. She could only bring herself to nod, a silent way of thanking him for taking care of her son before turning to leave.

Copia was far closer to his ghouls than his predecessors. Perhaps that was not a bad thing.