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Chapter Text

Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.

Olivia stirred, unsure what exactly had woke her. She knew that Hope hadn't cried, her daughter finally having quieted a little over an hour earlier after an unusually restless night. Perhaps it was nerves over what awaited her and Elliot this morning, with both a postpartum visit and Hope's two-week well baby checkup scheduled. Hardly able to believe that their little Peanut was already half a month old, Olivia turned over in search of her partner, needing his comfort and reassurance before her mind ran away with her completely. As always, Elliot had been able to read her thoughts perfectly, and enveloped her in an embrace almost immediately, his lips coming to rest against her temple as his steady voice whispered in her ear.

"I know, Liv. I can't believe it, either. She's growing so fast already. Do you think it's too soon to give her the speech about dating and makeup?"

Laughing in spite of her conflicting emotions, Olivia wiped away a stray tear that had been threatening to fall and pressed a kiss against Elliot's lips.

"Maybe just a little. Don't make time go any faster than it already has. I don't think I could handle it. As it is, all I want is to keep her as my baby forever."

"She will be, Liv. She will be."

The pair stayed nestled in one another's arms for a few minutes longer, before they both realized they couldn't ignore the inevitable any longer. Not only was Hope going to be wanting her breakfast soon – not to mention a dry diaper – but they had obligations to fulfill today. In the end, it was Elliot who offered a suggestion.

"I know we typically don't do things this way, usually tending to get our showers first and all, but what would you say if we operated a bit out of order this morning?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was thinking we have our coffee and breakfast first, then we can take turns getting ready while the other takes care of Hope. It might save time."

Olivia mulled it over, gnawing on her lower lip as she gave the idea serious thought.

"I like it. Are you sure it won't be too much doubling up on the appointments? I know you don't mind, but will it be too much for Hope? She hasn't had her vaccinations yet, and -"

Elliot reached out, resting his palm on the side of his partner's face.

"Easy, Liv. Everything will be fine. Both offices are in the same medical building, and you know Dr. Barrett would be insulted if she didn't get a chance to see our little Peanut. It's not as though we're going to be running all over town."

"Logically, I know you're right. It's the paranoid overprotective mother in me that is telling me otherwise."

"You're the best mother, Liv. I'll tell you that as often as you need to hear it."

Instead of verbally voicing her thanks, Olivia touched her lips to Elliot's in a tender kiss. When she pulled back, she asked the question that was most on her mind.

"Did you mind starting breakfast while I feed the little princess, or would you rather do things the other way around? I know she's about to wake up any second."

As if on cue, Hope started to cry, her wails filling the room as she made her displeasure known.

"I've got breakfast handled. You haven't been able to pump since around two AM, and I took the last feeding. You have to be uncomfortable and needing to nurse."

Again amazed at just how well her partner was attuned to her needs, Olivia got out of bed, opting to stay in the comfortable clothes she had slept in as opposed to getting dressed just yet. Picking up the squalling infant from the bassinet, she carried her over to the nearby rocker/glider and got settled. Within seconds of latching on, Hope was suckling, her tiny palm in it's usual position against her mother's breast. As much as he loved to watch this particular scene, Elliot knew this was not a morning he could linger. Stopping to drop a kiss to the crown of Olivia's head, he had one last question before making his way out to the kitchen.

"Did you have any special requests for breakfast? Pancakes, eggs, waffles?"

"Nothing too heavy. If I'm being honest, I don't think my stomach could tolerate eggs this morning. I'm too nervous, but I know I need something more substantial than just toast. Maybe a waffle. The ones you make are always so light and fluffy."

"You've got it. I'll call you when it's ready."

After Elliot had left the room, Olivia turned her attention back to her daughter. With every passing day, there was a new change – no matter how subtle – to marvel over. These were the moments she treasured, when holding Hope in her arms and nourishing her from her own body. She was infinitely glad that she had been given the opportunity to nurse, and while she didn't know how that schedule would change when she eventually returned to work, she would be grateful for every second of it now.

Eventually, Hope's suckling slowed, and even though she was still young and not taking in great quantities of milk just yet, Olivia switched her to her other breast, just in case she was still hungry. From the kitchen, she could smell the aroma of coffee being brewed, along with the sweet scent of waffles. Despite initially believing otherwise, Olivia felt her stomach growl in anticipation, and she thought again how blessed she was to have someone who took such good care of her.

A small thump of a tiny fist against her breast told Olivia that her daughter was done with her feeding, and she adjusted her into the proper position so she could burp the infant. Belatedly, she realized that she had forgotten to grab a cloth to protect her clothing, but the consequences of her error didn't fully register until she felt something warm against her shoulder and hair.

Not really upset, merely chuckling at how all the good intentions of Elliot's plans for that morning had just gone awry, Olivia called out for her partner.

It wasn't surprising that Elliot reached the bedroom within seconds of Olivia's cry of distress. As he had made his way down the hall, he already had an inkling about what had happened, and had planned ahead. The waffles he had been making for breakfast were now being kept warm in the toaster oven, and he was ready to offer help by any means necessary, which he had a feeling would include giving Hope a sponge bath.

Sure enough, as soon as he crossed the threshold he found his partner, still cradling their daughter close, but her clothes and hair otherwise covered with what Hope had been unable to keep down after being burped.

"It's my own fault, El. Blame it on mommy brain, I guess. I forgot to grab a burp cloth when nursing her."

"No one's fault, Liv. It may have been the first time she got your clothes and hair, but it certainly won't be the last. Why don't you get in the shower, and I'll go clean up our little Peanut and get her ready for the day?"

With an expression that spoke equal parts relief and guilt, Olivia hesitated for just a moment, before ultimately giving in to the latter emotion.

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me, I can grab a quick shower before we leave. There's still plenty of time. Go on, now."

Knowing there was no need to bother with clothes just yet, and that her robe was already hanging in the master bath, Olivia snagged a fresh pair of panties from her drawer before padding into the other room, willing herself not to cry and simultaneously cursing her still unbalanced hormones.

Twenty minutes later, Olivia was seated across from Elliot, Hope resting in her bouncer on top of the table between them as they ate their breakfast. Just as Elliot had predicted, they were still well within schedule to leave for the day's appointments, even with the unforeseen events of the morning.

"These taste amazing. Thanks again for cooking."

"No problem. I had thought about grabbing something out, but we do have the meal kits that the guys ordered for us, best to make use of them. Plus, I know you don't want to take Hope too many places, at least not until after she's started to get her vaccines."

"You're right about that. I'm hoping seeing the pediatrician will put me more at ease somewhat. Not that you haven't done a great job of it yourself, but hearing it from a medical professional that I'm not going to damage my daughter for the rest of her life will help tremendously. I promise I'm going to try my best to not always be this paranoid."

Placing his hand on his partner's, Elliot offered her a smile.

"You're doing an amazing job. And you likely will have more freakouts, but that is totally normal. I'm convinced you're not really a parent unless you believe you're doing everything wrong."

Olivia gave a watery chuckle, then her expression grew warm and thoughtful.

"All you can do is love your kids."

As the memory registered in Elliot's mind as well, he leaned forward to brush his lips across Olivia's.

"Exactly. And we both have more than enough love for this little Peanut here. Not to mention she has a bunch of siblings, aunts, and uncles who are going to spoil her rotten."

"You're right about that."

The pair sitting at the table turned to glance at Hope, who was sitting quietly in her bouncer, taking in her surroundings. Glancing at the clock, Olivia got to her feet and started to reach for their now empty plates, but not before dropping another kiss on her partner's mouth.

"It's getting closer to the time we have to leave. Now it's your turn to get ready. I'll handle cleanup."

A short while later, they were on their way, with Olivia yet again riding in the backseat with their daughter. The visit with Dr. Barrett was at the top of the agenda, and it was her first post-birth checkup since having been discharged from the hospital. Olivia was hoping to have some of her restrictions lifted, although she knew she still had a ways to go in terms of healing. At the very least, she was going to ask for the clearance to begin a light exercise program. Physical therapy had done wonders for her in terms of getting her strength back, but she needed to rebuild the rest of the muscle tone that she had lost after spending so many months in the hospital.

"We're here, Liv. Did you want me to take her carrier?"

"Please."

With Hope's carrier held firmly in one hand, Elliot used his other to link his fingers with his partner's, providing what he hoped was a quiet reassurance that would ease her nerves. He knew she was anxious about not only the visit with Dr. Barrett, but also their little Peanut's first well baby checkup. Now that they were actually in the office building, those nerves had only increased tenfold.

"I'm right by your side, Liv."

After checking in at reception, the two took a seat in the waiting room, both well aware of all the eyes on them. Smiles were cast in not only their direction, but Hope's as well, and Elliot felt his heart swell with pride yet again. Before he had a chance to whisper anything to the woman by his side, the door to the exam area opened and Olivia was called to the back. Ever respectful of the love of his life's wishes, Elliot asked what she wanted before jumping to conclusions, even though he had been part of every visit throughout nearly the entire pregnancy.

"Do you want me to come with you, Liv?"

"Please."

Having been given an appointment time not long after the start of office hours, they didn't have to wait long before Dr. Barrett was knocking once on the door and admitting herself into the exam room. After taking a moment to greet both Olivia and Elliot and inquiring how her patient was feeling, she bypassed all other pleasantries, making a beeline straight for Hope.

"Before we get down to business, let me see that baby. I can't believe how big she's gotten already."

"Neither can Elliot or I. It feels like I just gave birth to her yesterday. Time is already going by too fast for my liking."

Glancing to both parents for permission, Dr. Barrett gently lifted the infant from her carrier, holding her close and cooing to her softly.

"Hey there, little one. I hope you aren't giving your mama or your daddy too much trouble."

"Aside from spitting up on me this morning for the first time - which was mostly my fault for having forgotten the burp cloth – she's been amazing. We were prepared to lose sleep, but for the most part, I can't complain. Elliot's been a great help."

Dr. Barrett's eyes widened in amazement.

"You went two whole weeks without getting spit up on? I think that might be some kind of world record."

"Oh, we've had other mishaps, usually during her sponge baths or diaper changes. I swear, I think we're going through as much laundry as she is. I wouldn't change it for the world though."

"Spoken like a true mother."

After one last affectionate pat to Hope's bottom, Dr. Barrett passed the baby back to Elliot.

"Here you go, little girl. Go back to your daddy. Olivia, why don't you have a seat on the exam table, and we'll go over how you've been feeling?"

Following a cursory examination, and some routine questions, such as what Olivia's current level of pain was, and how much post partum bleeding she was still experiencing, Dr. Barrett instructed her patient to change into a gown. Briefly stepping out of the room to afford some privacy, Olivia and Elliot were on their own with their daughter. Ever mindful of the lingering tenderness that his partner was dealing with, Elliot asked the first thing that popped to into his mind.

"Did you need some help, Liv? I can put this little Peanut in her carrier for a moment."

"No, I'm good. It would be a different matter entirely if I were wearing jeans or even one of my work suits, but we both know I'm not getting back into either of those just yet."

Catching the expression on Elliot's face – something that was equal parts admonition mixed with tenderness – Olivia held up her hand, stopping him before he could even open his mouth to argue with her.

"Easy, El. I wasn't trying to be self deprecating, I was merely speaking fact. Even if I wasn't lactating and nursing our daughter every two hours, the only thing I actually want to wear are the comfortable clothes I've been living in. In fact, after my leave is up, I may see if Cragen is willing to change the dress code."

A slow smirk played across Elliot's lips.

"You know, for you, he might actually be willing to consider it."

A knock at the door interrupted them before Olivia had a chance to respond. Dr. Barrett re-entered the room.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Olivia. As I've explained, this will just be a basic external exam. I want to ensure you're healing properly, and that all the stitches I placed after your delivery have dissolved without issue. I understand that you're still somewhat tender, so I will be as gentle as I can. If at any time, you feel any discomfort at all, please let me know immediately."

There was a mild sensation that Olivia couldn't quite identify as Dr. Barrett conducted her exam, something that the brunette mentioned, but stressed that was not hurtful.

"Just hang in there with me for another minute, I think it's likely the position more than anything that is awkward for you."

Reaching out to the side, Olivia found that Elliot had anticipated her need, having already placed Hope in her carrier and come to stand by her side. Linking his fingers with hers, he brought their joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss in the center of her palm.

"Right here, Liv."

As promised, Dr. Barrett was finished with her exam a few moments later. With the aid of both Elliot and the physician, Olivia was able to sit back up again.

"Everything looks good. The stitches have dissolved completely, and your healing process is right on target. Unless you have any questions or concerns, I shouldn't need to see you again for six weeks, when you come in for your two month post partum checkup."

"Thank you."

"You're most welcome. And, I'm sure this goes without saying, if you're on your own for the next visit, I expect to see photos of that baby."

Olivia and Elliot shared a grin before agreeing. It went without saying that Dr. Barrett was incredibly invested with not only her patients, but the children that she helped bring into the world. Since Hope was resting quietly in her carrier, Elliot, helped his partner dress again, and seeing as Olivia already had her next follow up appointment scheduled, they only had to make a quick stop at the check out desk on their way out of the office.

"We still have about forty-five minutes before we meet with Hope's pediatrician. Did you want to head down to the cafe, grab something to drink, and get off your feet for a little while?"

Although Olivia was well aware that her partner only had the best of intentions, he had inadvertently struck a nerve. Not for the first time, her fluctuating emotions got the better of her, and she snapped at the one man who was undeserving of her rage.

"I'm not going to break, Elliot."

Immediately regretting the words that had left her mouth, the exhausted new mother had an apology at the ready, but it was dismissed with a wave of the hand of the person standing next to her.

"It's okay, Liv. It's certainly not the worst I've heard. But I'm sure you realize that I wasn't trying to imply that you were an invalid."

"I know that. And you're likely right. Given that emotional outburst, a bit of rest would probably do me some good after all."

Gesturing for the carrier, Olivia wasn't surprised when she found her hand enveloped in Elliot's instead.

"Do you need me to take her?"

"I've got her. Happy to hold your hand, though. Provided you have no objections?"

"None whatsoever."

They made their way to the small cafe on the first floor of the medical office building, where Elliot first got his partner and daughter situated at a corner table before heading off to the counter to place an order. He returned a few moments later, balancing a tray, and placed a cup in front of Olivia and another by his own chair.

"I remembered you're still limiting your caffeine, Liv, and figured you wouldn't want a second cup of coffee. I also reasoned you wouldn't be in the mood for tea this early, so I got you a cup of hot chocolate."

"Extra whipped cream?"

"Is there any other way to drink it?"

As it turned out, Elliot had made the same choice for himself, along with a slice of the marble loaf cake for them to share. Even though they had eaten breakfast before leaving the apartment, the sweet treat was a great way to break up the morning, and provided just the rejuvenation that they each needed. There was no doubt that Olivia and Elliot both were equally nervous about their daughter's first official doctor visit, no matter that she had been examined several times prior to being discharged from the hospital. Today would be when they truly learned if her progress was on target or not, and while they didn't necessarily have any doubts, it was difficult to silence that nagging inner voice, whether for a seasoned parent like Elliot or for a new mother like Olivia.

After the last crumb of cake had been eaten, and the hot chocolate had been drained, the inevitable could be delayed no longer. Not only was it imperative to try and keep Hope on the schedule they'd implemented as much as possible, but they wanted to make a good first impression by being on time. Gathering the remains of their trash, Olivia threw them away while Elliot picked up the carrier once more and the two partners headed on their way.

Dr. Ellison had come highly recommended to them by none other than Olivia's OB/GYN, the woman having referred several of her patients to the same pediatric office. Considering the fact that Dr. Barrett was already so highly trusted, it was easy for them to respect her suggestion, and they had subsequently made an appointment. Hope had already been seen examined by an associate before being discharged from the hospital, but this would be her first in person visit.

Already the pediatrician was making a good first impression on Olivia and Elliot. While not ignoring them entirely, the physician had directed the majority of her focus on her patient, and was talking animatedly to the newborn, almost as though she expected a verbal response. It was only after spending a few minutes with the baby that Dr. Ellison turned to the parents, pulling them into the conversation.

"So, tell me, mom and dad, how have the first two weeks at home been like with this little one? I understand that's not quite enough time to establish a complete routine, but I'm sure you're already starting to understand some of her quirks."

After exchanging a glance, it was Elliot who answered.

"We're finding our way. Naturally, she was a perfect angel during our stay in the hospital, and only truly started showing us the sleepless nights once we got home. I'm trying to help out as much as I can with bottle feedings from the times when Liv has pumped, so she isn't shouldering the entire load. We also have a great support system."

"I'm glad to hear it. It can be difficult finding that balance, so don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Is this your first child?"

Before he even had a chance, Olivia rested her palm on her partner's thigh, stopping him in his tracks. She was well aware he would never be ashamed of the life he had shared with Kathy, and she wouldn't ever want him to be, but she also understood how sensitive he was to her emotions.

"Hope is our first child together. Elliot, on the other hand, has four children with his ex-wife. I love them like they were my own."

"And how are they adjusting to having a little sister?"

It was Elliot's turn to respond again, and he replied with total honesty.

"As expected, there were some mixed feelings, but now that she's here, I believe they are just as in love with her as we are."

"I'm glad to hear it. Now, you had a difficult pregnancy, did you not, Olivia? Not with complications as they pertained to your daughter's fetal development necessarily, but more in regard to your own health?"

"Yes, that's correct. In my first trimester, I suffered a head injury that caused a subdural hematoma. Because of circumstances beyond my control, it went untreated to the point that the brain bleed progressed to the point where I needed to have burr holes, but suffered a mild stroke during the procedure. As a result, I ended up in a coma for several months."

Still continuing her exam with the infant as she carried on the conversation, Dr. Ellison's expression transformed into one that exuded nothing but empathy.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been for you as a partner, Elliot, or for you, Olivia to wake up to."

"We're just relieved that Hope is healthy."

"Of course. However, this medical history is helpful to know. Given the information you've told me, and what I've seen from the exams she's had at the hospital, I have no reason to believe there will be any future issues regarding developmental delays, but it's always good to keep in the records."

The line of questioning continued, now following Hope's nursing habits and feeding schedule, whether or not there were any difference in suckling strength from when she was taking from her mother's breast or a bottle. An examination of the umbilical site proved that it was healing nicely, and following the amusing anecdote from earlier in the morning that Olivia shared where she had forgotten to use the burp cloth and Hope had spit up on her, the appointment was nearly complete.

"Okay, we're almost done here. I'm pleased to say that your daughter is right on target for all the early milestones. She's well within her percentile for weight and height, and her grip strength is good. Likewise, she seems to be responding to sight and sound, and her vitals are excellent."

Olivia and Elliot exhaled a collective sigh of relief. Even though there hadn't been any obvious cause for concern, neither of them had fully been able to quiet the worry until it had been confirmed to them that their daughter, was, in fact, completely healthy.

"I know it's a bit premature here, and we still have a few more visits before it will be necessary, but I'm sure you both realize that the moment will have arrived before you know it. Will you be wanting to proceed with a traditional vaccine schedule?"

Without a moment of hesitation, both partners responded in unison.

"Yes."

"Good. I will make a notation in her chart, and we can begin with those first vaccinations at Hope's two month checkup. If neither of you have any questions, I will see you again in two weeks for her one month well baby visit."

"That sounds good, Doctor, thank you."

Reaching into the pocket of her lab coat, Dr. Ellison retrieved a business card.

"I understand that the two of you both work as Detectives. While I know you are both taking some leave, your hours are probably more hectic than mine. I give this to all new parents, because I'm well aware that when kids get sick, it's not always on a convenient schedule. If something happens after office hours, but is not emergency room worthy, feel free to contact me. This is for a number I keep specifically for this purpose."

Olivia reiterated her thanks again, and Elliot accepted a newly redressed Hope back into his arms. Placing the drowsy but increasingly growing agitated infant in the carrier, the two made their way out of the office.

"Are you ready to go home, Liv?"

"Actually, I think I might need to find a place to nurse first. She's going to be miserable otherwise."

"Of course. Would you be comfortable in the car, or do you need somewhere with more space?"

Her brow furrowed as she tried to think and weigh her options, Elliot was suddenly struck by a wave of inspiration.

"What if we went to the precinct? We're only a few blocks away, and I'm sure you could find some privacy in the crib, or maybe even Cap would let you use his office."

"I love that idea."

That was how they found themselves heading to the 1-6, a place they were supposed to be spending time away from while on leave, but would always be their home away from home. Both partners were well aware that once Olivia was done feeding Hope, their daughter would be doted on by all of her extended family. They wouldn't have it any other way.

As luck would have it, the partner's arrived at the SVU squad room at a relatively non chaotic time. All of their coworkers were present, but currently busy working at their desks. Captain Cragen was in his office, and their presence went mostly unnoticed until Hope chose to make her displeasure known. Obviously, the sound of an infant crying caught the attention of all in the room, and when everyone saw just who the baby belonged to, Olivia and Elliot found themselves welcomed warmly. Though it was apparent that everyone wanted to greet them, most of the detectives and officers kept a respectful distance, mindful Hope's current distress. Only Fin, Munch, and Cragen dared to approach, the latter easily attuning to Olivia's need.

"You're welcome to use my office for some privacy, Olivia. We can always take some time to visit after you have her settled."

"Thank you, Captain. We're sorry to intrude, but she was due for a feeding, this was the closest place we could think of."

"You have nothing to apologize for or even try to justify. You have family here, you're always welcome. Go, take care of your little one."

Thanking their superior officer, Olivia and Elliot moved toward the seclusion of the office, closing the door behind them. With her partner's help, Olivia got Hope settled at her breast, and within moments the infant was suckling comfortably, not the least bit aware that there had been any distress or confusion in regard toward the location of her most recent meal.

Once Hope had finished, it was Elliot who took over burping duties and got his daughter into a clean diaper while Olivia straightened herself out. With everyone feeling much more comfortable, the partner's took their little Peanut back out to the main squad room, knowing that she would be fawned over and doted on.

Sure enough, no sooner than they had emerged from the seclusion of Cragen's office than the grandfather figure himself swooped in to claim the child, gently taking her out of Elliot's arms to hold. Fin and John were standing close by, eagerly and not so patiently awaiting their turns. However, that didn't preclude any of the men from their concern, nor from asking questions about how the morning had gone.

All were well aware that not only Hope, but also Olivia had been scheduled for checkups, and were curious as to whether or not they'd been given a clean bill of health. In the end, it was John who inquired what was on all of their minds.

"So, don't keep us in suspense. What did the doctor say? How are you doing, Liv? Likewise, how was your little Peanut's first trip to the pediatrician?"

"The doctor is satisfied with my progress in how I'm healing. Obviously, I still have a bit to go before my body completely recovers from having given birth, but for just being two weeks out, I'm doing good. And this one here is taking great care of me, too."

Even though all of the men shared a similar glance at Elliot, Fin spoke the words they were all thinking.

"He'd better be."

The group shared a small laugh, and as if on cue, Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's waist, leading her to one of the nearby chairs. He had already intuited that she was getting uncomfortable standing, and would not speak out about it on her own. The conversation seamlessly continued after she had been seated, now switching to the topic of Hope's visit with the pediatrician.

"As for Hope, she's right on target. Her height and weight are exactly where they should be – in fact, she's in the top of her percentile. Also, her reflexes are excellent, and she's responding well in all other aspects, too."

Watching as his daughter was passed from Cragen to Fin, with John complaining that it would never be his turn, Elliot turned to his partner, placing a hand on her shoulder with a not-so-subtle nudge.

"That's not all, Liv. Don't forget to tell them everything."

Momentarily confused, Olivia turned to Elliot with a perplexed expression.

"What am I missing, El?"

"That even though our little one only has the vision of a two week old, she's right on target when it comes to spitting up on her mama – oof."

Elliot's teasing statement was prematurely cut off as Olivia backhanded him in the stomach, even though she was laughing as she did so. It was then that the brunette picked up where her partner had started, telling the story from earlier that morning, when her mom brain had caused her lapse in judgment and failure to remember a burp cloth during Hope's first feeding of the day.

"While it may have been the first time it happened – I know it won't be the last. In fact, I'm impressed I made it two weeks as a new mother without anything like that occurring."

Before anyone else had a chance to comment, Melinda Warner walked into the squad room, presumably to bring the autopsy results that Fin and John were waiting for regarding the case they were working on. However, the second the medical examiner saw that Elliot and Olivia were there, all of that was forgotten, and she immediately became focused on the baby in Fin's arms. After hugging first Elliot and then Olivia and inquiring as to how the latter was feeling, she made her intentions clear.

"The reasons I initially came here can wait. Give me that baby."

For several real moments, Olivia thought that maybe John might stamp his foot in frustration. She would have expected this sort of behavior from Elliot's children, but it was almost comical watching a room of grown adults fight over who would get to hold her child next. Sharing a glance with Melinda, and seeing the unasked question in the woman's eyes, she nodded her consent, and bit her lip, trying yet again to contain her laughter as she knew what would be coming next.

"But it was supposed to be my turn."

John's argument was a valid one, but even he shrank from Melinda's gaze.

"I was the one who confirmed the pregnancy for Olivia all those months ago. Plus, I'm sure you've already gotten time to spend with her. I have to return to the morgue sooner rather than later. Don't you think you can let me skip the line?"

Begrudgingly, John acquiesced to Melinda's plea. Fin placed the infant into her arms, and she cradled the newborn gently, proclaiming to the partners just how beautiful their daughter was. Naturally, in addition to asking questions one mother would only ask of another, she also inquired things that only a doctor would think of. At a certain point, Olivia was almost tempted to refer Melinda directly to both Dr. Barrett and Dr. Ellison and have her deal with them instead. Eventually, the medical examiner realized what she was doing, and become instantly contrite.

"Sorry. You should tell me to shut the hell up."

"No need. I know you're coming from a good place. I can promise you'll be one of the first people I'll call if I ever need advice."

"That means a lot, Olivia, truly. Now, I'd better give John his turn before he breaks into an all-out tap dance."

True to her word, Melinda placed the infant into the waiting arms of the eldest Detective, then picked up the folder she had previously discarded. Knowing that John would only partially be paying attention, and mindful of the fact that Olivia and Elliot were still supposed to be on leave, she explained her findings to Fin and the Captain, then made her exit with a friendly wave, promising Olivia she would be in touch soon.

Eventually, Olivia and Elliot were able to reclaim their sleeping daughter, and resettled the infant in her carrier for the trip back home. It had been an enjoyable visit back to the precinct, and they were both aware that it had been the right decision to come here.

Once they had returned to their apartment, Elliot went about the process of making them some lunch, while Olivia took Hope into the bedroom to put her down in the bassinet. Under her partner's suggestion, she also took the opportunity to put her feet up for awhile, knowing that Elliot would bring her the food once it was ready. In the back of her mind, Olivia had an idea brewing, the inklings of which had started earlier today, and only continued to form. She knew what she wanted to do, it was only a matter of getting started.

After they had finished eating, since Hope was still napping Elliot used the opportunity to talk to his partner. As it turned out, they were once again thinking on the same wavelength, only Olivia didn't know it yet. Grabbing a bag containing a recent purchase, he carried it with him to the living room, even though he was well aware of the emotional reaction it would earn him.

"Hey Liv? Is it all right if I talk to you for a few minutes?"

The smile with which he was rewarded reminded Elliot of one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with this woman in the first place, and her answering comment only confirmed that fact, reinforcing his adoration of her sense of humor.

"You know I never mind that, but I'm not the one you need to be asking that question of. But considering our daughter can't answer you just yet, as long as she doesn't interrupt us within the next ten to fifteen minutes or so, I'd say your chances are pretty good."

Taking a seat next to his partner on the couch, Elliot reached into the bag he had brought with him.

"This is still in the early stages, I haven't had much time to get started yet, what with the move and bringing Hope home and all, but Maureen and Katie have helped. It's a scrapbook from some of the time during your pregnancy when I was keeping a record of your milestones of sonogram photos and things, along with a few diary entries that I had written down."

Already Olivia was getting teary eyed, but Elliot forged on, wanting to say his piece.

"I thought maybe you'd want to pick up where I left off, and make this not only a baby book for Hope, but something special between just you and her, a shared bond as mother and daughter. Then maybe when she gets older, you can pass it to her when she goes to college or gets married?"

Openly weeping now, and making now attempt to blame her emotions on her still rampantly disordered hormones, Olivia sniffled and wiped away a few tears before attempting to speak.

"You know me so well, El. I was just thinking of doing something similar to this, but wasn't sure how to get started. You've known me long enough to realize that my relationship with my own mother was rocky at best, and to this day, I still don't know if she was ever proud of me, or resented me with her dying breath. I want more than that with my own daughter. More than just giving Hope the unconditional love she deserves day in and day out, I want to be the kind of woman a daughter can be proud of."

Needing to add a bit of levity to the moment, for her own sake, Olivia gave a small grin.

"I realize that won't always be possible during her teenage years, but I don't want to get ahead of myself."

"No, I know what you're trying to say, Liv. I love you for it, too. And I also know that you aren't trying to lessen what you felt toward Serena, that relationship was very complicated. But as I've told you before, you've already proven that you would give your very life to protect your daughter. You're an amazing mother, Olivia. That's only going to improve, and I look forward to every step of sharing the journey of parenthood with you – and all the bumps we may face along the way."

As if on cue, fussing could be heard over the baby monitor, and a glance at the high tech video screen likewise confirmed that Hope was awake and about to start wailing at any moment. Getting to his feet, Elliot was already halfway down the hallway before Olivia could even move, calling over his shoulder as he went.

"You stay put, I'll get little miss. Were you wanting to nurse her or give her a bottle?"

"I'll nurse. I'd rather save the bottles that I've pumped for the overnight feedings."

"You've got it."

True to his word, Elliot returned a few minutes later. Hope had been somewhat mollified by the way her daddy was holding her, but it was no secret what she really wanted. Depositing the still fussy infant into her mother's arms, where she immediately latched onto a nipple and began suckling, Elliot took back his previous place by his partner's side. Suddenly overcome by a wave of anxiety, it occurred to him to ask a question that he wondered if he should have phrased long before now.

"Does it bother you that I sometimes watch when you nurse her? I realized that I never really did ask permission."

"El, no. You've never overstepped your bounds. She's your daughter, of course you're going to want to be a part of all parts of her life. I have no doubt that if you somehow had the capability, you'd breastfeed her yourself. Plus, you give her bottles whenever you can to give me a break."

Taking a moment to shift her position slightly, Olivia continued.

"You and I both know that there is nothing sexual about a mother feeding her child. Yes, there is a deeply personal bonding experience to it, and some women prefer to do so in private, but I'm not one of those people. It's something that has been happening since the dawn of time, and I love that you sit with me, to share this with you. Obviously, I'm not going to expose myself in public, but I'm also never going to let our daughter starve, either. It's why we went to the precinct today so I had a comfortable place to nurse around people we trusted."

Elliot was quiet at first, not sure how to answer. She had read him so perfectly, but there was more to it. In the end, he simply decided to go with the truth.

"You're right of course, but there's a bit more to it. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm so in love with you. Not just with who you are as a person, but with getting to see you as a mother. You're such a natural, and it's an honor being a part of that. Knowing that you are the mother to my child is just makes it even more special. I've always known you would be a great parent."

"Dammit, Elliot. You're going to make me cry again."

Wrapping an arm around the woman next to him, using the utmost care not to disturb the nursing newborn in her arms, Elliot pressed a kiss to Olivia's temple.

"Sorry. Not my intention. I know you're still leaking a lot, and how much you hate not being in control of your emotions. Especially when most of the time I'm the one at fault. I'll try to do better. Especially because sooner or later you're going to be off those physical restrictions from the doctor and be able to kick my ass again."

"Don't you forget it."

The pair sat quietly for a little while as Hope finished up, and it was only when it was obvious that she was done nursing that Elliot offered to take her. Not to be outdone, Olivia had a sharp comeback at the ready.

"What, think I'm going to forget the burp cloth again?"

"Mom brain is a thing, Olivia."

"I realize that. Actually, I will let you take her, but only if you let me help with dinner later."

In the end, Elliot ended up agreeing to the compromise, but only because they still had the added advantage of the meal delivery service gifted to them by John and Fin. The convenience would be theirs for the duration of their leave, and they were definitely making the most of it. They had even started to discuss if it would factor into their budget once they went back to work, and, by the looks of things, it appeared that it would.

For the most part, Hope was an easy baby, even if she had yet to adjust to a true routine, despite the best efforts on the attempts of both of her parents. But, considering that the newborn had only marked two weeks of being a part of the world today, no one could fault her for her inconsistencies. She was still very much finding her way in the world, in every sense.

"Were you still wanting to help with dinner?"

Not even realizing she had zoned out, Olivia turned her head to face her partner. Hope was resting in the second bassinet they had only recently purchased, so they could keep one in their living room, and one in their bedroom. Unaware of how much time had passed, Olivia glanced at the clock, and it was only then that it dawned on her that like their daughter, she too, must have dozed off.

"I would. Do you happen to know off hand what is on the menu for tonight?"

"The boxed delivery arrived while you were resting. I didn't think you'd mind if I opened it without you, especially since we needed to put the necessary ingredients away in the refrigerator. As I was taking care of that, I did sneak a peek at the recipe card. It seems tonight's dinner is honey mustard chicken, crispy parmesan potatoes, and the kit came with asparagus for grilling, but I remember that gave you heartburn the last time, which also didn't sit too well with our little miss, so I thought maybe we could do a salad instead."

Beyond touched that Elliot had not only remembered, but also offered a much better alternative, Olivia smiled.

"That sounds lovely. What do you need me to do?"

"Well, at the risk of putting my foot in my mouth, I thought maybe you could be my sous chef and help with some chopping and other prep?"

As anticipated, the comment earned Elliot a glare, and he rushed ahead to explain.

"I'm not trying to insult you, Liv, I promise. I have no doubt that you could put one of these meals together just as well as I could. However, as I've pointed out on many occasions since you've given birth, and you have, too, I wasn't blessed with the ability to lactate. And while I'll happily give Hope a bottle any time you need me too, I also know you haven't had the opportunity to pump much today. If she does wake up crying before we've had a chance to eat ourselves and you need to nurse her, it will be better – not to mention more comfortable for you – if you're not standing over a hot stove."

All previous frustrations evaporated immediately, and Olivia reached out to rest her palm against her partner's cheek.

"You're absolutely right. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I should have known better."

"No offense taken. I know it still isn't easy for you to take it easy. You just have to remember that although you're out of the hospital and home now, and I'm here to help as much as humanly possible, you are still responsible for the care of a tiny human being. That takes a lot of work, and shouldn't be taken lightly. Plus, your body is still recovering, too."

"I hear you, El."

Olivia allowed herself to be enveloped into the warmth of her partner's embrace, letting him hold her for several minutes. It was only when her stomach growled that they reluctantly released one another with a chuckle. As they started to head toward the kitchen, Olivia's phone chimed, and she was relieved that it was only an incoming message and not the intrusion of a phone call that might have otherwise awoken the sleeping baby.

"Everything okay, Liv?"

"Yes. It was just a message from Dana. Apparently, the settlement check was mailed out today."

Relieved that there was nothing to be concerned about, the pair resumed their dinner preparations. The meal kits were an absolute dream, with everything already portioned and measured ahead of time. They couldn't even claim the downside of their never having any leftovers, as Fin and John had even thought ahead on that factor, too. Everything was set up for four servings instead of two, taking into account Olivia's need to eat more frequently to keep up her energy now that she was nursing, and Elliot's already healthy appetite.

"Did you want help cutting the potatoes? Or did you want me to start on the chicken? From the looks of things, it seems they have similar cook times. I already turned the oven on to preheat while you were checking your phone."

"I can handle the potatoes just fine. Just as long as you don't mind me moving you out of your way when I put them in the oven. While they are both cooking, we can always work on the salad together, unless you planned to still have the asparagus for yourself."

Elliot indicated that he did plan on cooking the asparagus, only so it wouldn't go to waste. However, knowing his partner as well as he did, he insisted that he'd have some salad, too, because he was all to aware of the fact that Olivia would go without if she thought she was the only one having some.

As it so happened, Hope managed to sleep throughout the entire meal prep, and even let her parents enjoy a relatively quiet dinner before she began to stir. Olivia only had a few bites of chicken and potatoes left on her plate when their daughter started to cry, and it was Elliot who got to his feet first.

"I've got her, Liv, you finish eating. She'll probably need a fresh diaper anyway, and you're almost done. Were you wanting to meet us in the living room?"

"Sounds good."

As he headed in to collect the squalling newborn, already speaking words of comfort along the way, Elliot turned to call back a reminder from over his shoulder.

"And don't touch those dishes. I'll take care of them."

"You know me too well."

By the time Olivia and Elliot met back up in the living room, he was certain that she hadn't rushed through the remainder of her meal. Likewise, even though she was still fussy, Hope was calmer from being nestled in her father's arms, and soothed from the sound of his voice. It was obvious she was wanting to nurse again, and almost comical from the way she was rooting against Elliot's chest in search of a source of nourishment.

"Sorry, Peanut, I can't help you there. I'll give you a bottle later, though, while your Mama is resting. For now, though, I'll let her handle your dinner. Here you go."

Passing the infant over to his partner, who had already adjusted her shirt, Elliot watched as Olivia got Hope settled. Before he could sit beside them, it seemed it was his turn for the interruption a chiming phone. A glance at the display showed that it was just an incoming message from the group text he shared with his children, wondering when they could stop by to see their sister again. For the most part, they had kept their communication to phone calls, allowing Olivia, Elliot, and Hope some time to get situated with their new dynamic. But now, the excitement was growing stronger again, and they all wanted to come over for a visit.

"Tell them to come by this weekend, El. I'm not sure if they'd want to stay, just yet, at least not until Hope is on more of a schedule, but they are certainly welcome. But it would be great to see them."

"I'll pass it along."

Later that evening, Olivia and Elliot got to experience yet another first with their daughter – Hope's first ever tub bath. While they had been giving daily sponge baths to clean her up ever since returning home from the hospital – and even during their stay, at the appointment with the pediatrician this morning, it had been determined that the umbilical stump had healed enough. Not wanting his partner to have to bend over and strain her own body unnecessarily, Elliot had placed the small infant sized tub inside their kitchen sink, so Olivia could comfortably stand.

Everything they would need was at the ready. Even though Elliot had been part of this process countless times with Kathy, these were new milestones that he was sharing with Olivia. But he was also aware of just how much motherhood meant to his partner, and what she had endured to get to this point, and he wanted to make certain she was able to enjoy every possible moment.

"She's grown so much, but she's still so tiny. I'm terrified I'm going to do something wrong."

"You're not going to break her Liv. I keep telling you, you're an amazing mother. I'll tell you that as many times a day as you need to hear it."

"I just don't want her to get too cold."

Pressing a kiss to the back of his partner's head as he simultaneously checked the water temperature to provide the reassurance he knew Olivia needed, Elliot spoke again.

"She won't. The water is just right, not too hot, not too cold. Plus we're almost done. If it would put you more at ease, I can take over rinsing her while you get the towel ready."

"That would be great. I promise, I'm not always going to be this neurotic."

Momentarily abandoning his duty to wrap an arm around Olivia's shoulder's and press yet another kiss to her temple, knowing instinctively that she would be unable to reciprocate because of the newborn in the bathwater, Elliot offered even more encouragement.

"Don't talk like that. You're not being neurotic at all, you're just a new mom. It's perfectly normal to be worried about each and every first experience. Like I told you when our little Peanut was born, parenthood is the best thing ever, but it's also the most terrifying. There is nothing wrong with how you're reacting."

"I hear you, El, I do. I just might need you to remind me every now and then."

"That, I can do."

The pair were silent for a few precious seconds before Olivia's voice broke through.

"Come on, let's get a move on. I want to be able to enjoy some cuddle time with her before her last feeding and bedtime."

"You've got it."

Once Hope was out of the tub, and swaddled in the towel, Elliot couldn't resist snapping a few photos. Even though he knew there was nothing wrong with it, the SVU detective in him couldn't bring himself to take pictures of his daughter's first bath while she was actually in the bath. Both he and Olivia had come across far too many cases where those photos had fallen into the wrong hands. However, nothing would stop the proud father in him from getting as many pictures as possible of his daughter in every other scenario. And right now, seeing Hope wearing a towel with a hood on it that gave her the appearance of a ducky outfit, he just couldn't help himself. But he was also aware that he needed to get the little one in a diaper fast, before she would be needing another bath.

"Do you want me to put her in her sleeper onesie, Liv?"

"Please. I was thinking of nursing in the bedroom. I might pump some, too, as she usually doesn't take as much milk right before bed. Maybe you can read to us both while I rock her to sleep?"

"I'd love to. Are there any requests?"

"Let me think about it for a minute. I think she already loves Goodnight Moon, probably from all the times you read it to her while I was pregnant."

"Then that's what it shall be. The real question is, do you want me to read to you, too, while we both unwind, or would you rather take advantage of some grown up time and have some adult conversation?"

Now that they were in the bedroom, Olivia nestled Hope at her breast. Once the infant was securely settled and suckling comfortably, she answered her partner.

"You and I both know that any discussion we have is going to revolve around this little one here. She's our entire world right now, which is exactly as it should be. Maybe in a few more weeks, when I can actually comprehend the idea of leaving her with a sitter for the night, we can think about going on a date and revisit the idea of that adult time that you mentioned."

"I wasn't talking about sex, Olivia. Please tell me you know I'm not going to pressure you about that. Even after you're medically cleared, if and when that happens again will be entire up to your comfort level."

Reaching out a hand, Olivia squeezed Elliot's fingers with her own.

"Oh, Elliot. I absolutely know that, I wasn't trying to insinuate otherwise. You could never make me feel pressured on that front. I was referring to grown up conversation that didn't revolve around diaper changes or feedings or things like that, but I appreciate your consideration."

"I do like the idea of a date night, and believe me, I haven't forgotten my other promise of treating you to a spa day once you're ready for it, either."

The thump of a tiny fist against her breast gave Olivia pause, and she stopped talking only long enough to have Hope switch sides. It always amused her how, even though her daughter was unable to speak, she was still quite skilled at communicating, even at such an early age.

"Actually, I did have an idea for tonight. While I'm not sure how long I'll last before exhaustion kicks in, I thought maybe we could brainstorm a little on that scrapbook idea?"

"That sounds great."

A few minutes later, when it was clear that Hope was finished nursing, Elliot made a move to take his daughter, so he could burp her and soothe her to sleep. Olivia waved him off, insisting she would handle it, and that he could take on the next feeding. Agreeing with a nod, her partner simply pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead and stated that he would go and clean up the mess in the kitchen.

"I'll meet you in the living room in a few, El."

"Take as long as you need. Did you want me to make you a cup of tea?"

"Please."

Left alone with her child, who was slowly succumbing to sleep, Olivia whispered softly to her daughter. It had been a long day for them both, but she lived for moments like these. Even with all the encouragement from Elliot, she hoped that Hope would see her as a woman to look up to, to be proud of. And even now, after all these years, she hoped Serena could somehow see her, and not be ashamed to admit that she was her mother.

Once Hope was sleeping peacefully, Olivia stood by the bassinet for several minutes, just watching. No matter how much she knew that the baby was safe and secure, this was her favorite thing to do. She was certain a part of it stemmed from the surreal feeling that still lingered, the sense of disbelief that her and Elliot's little Peanut was actually here. Every day, as the reality that she was actually a mother washed over her anew, Olivia couldn't get over how blessed she actually was. Not only to have someone as wonderful as her partner by her side to share the journey of parenthood with, but that she was still here to enjoy every part of the experience.

Turning on the small lamp with the moon and stars that they had every intention of keeping in the nursery once Hope was old enough to start staying in there on her own, Olivia picked up the monitor to take with her out to the living room. There, she found Elliot waiting for her, the previously promised cup of tea steaming on one of the side tables, and a notebook and pen sitting nearby.

"I hope you don't mind, I got a few things ready, so we could write down a few of your ideas."

"Not at all. I just don't know how much longer I'm going to be for this world. For all my good intentions earlier, exhaustion is starting to set in fast."

The concern that washed over Elliot's face was immediate. Just as quickly, Olivia hurried to alleviate it.

"Nothing to worry about, El. I do want to do this. I just might not be up for as much adult time as I originally planned."

"Whenever you want to go to bed, all you have to do is say the word."

Taking a sip of her tea, Olivia drew her legs up to the side. Sometimes it was still easy for her to forget that she wasn't still pregnant, and that the comfortable positions that used to prefer were once again easily attainable. From his side, Elliot picked up the notepad and pen he had at the ready.

"At the very least, we can make a few notes, if you'd like?"

"That would be a great start. You mentioned earlier that you wanted to add some of the photos and things you'd cataloged during my pregnancy from when I was still in the coma. If it would be all right with you, I'd love it if you would put some journal entries of your own into the scrapbook."

Feeling his eyes getting watery, Elliot reached a hand out to his partner.

"Are you sure, Liv? I don't want to intrude or interfere. I know that we are in this together, but that this is also something that you want to give Hope as her mother."

"You are right, El, but there is a large chunk of time that I missed that only you can give her. Even though I know I'm not at fault for it, I'm still coming to terms with the fact that there were several milestones I missed."

Wiping away a stray tear, and exhaling a shaky breath, Olivia squeezed Elliot's fingers and seemed to draw strength by his mere presence alone.

"You were there for it all. You can give our daughter that part of her story. Maybe it won't be something she'll ever ask, but it's also something that I never got. I never got to hear about how my mom felt when she was pregnant with me, because I was never wanted. I don't ever want Hope to feel that way. I want her to know that she was loved from the very beginning."

"She will know, Liv. I promise you."

A few more tears fell as Olivia lost control over the battle with her emotions.

"I was just thinking a few minutes ago as I put our little Peanut to bed. I've mentioned to you before that I want to be the kind of mother she can look up to, but I also couldn't help but wonder what Serena would think of me now. Would she still be ashamed? She never did want me to become a cop, let alone join SVU. All I ever wanted was to make her proud, to get her to see me."

Tucking the pen inside the metal spiral and setting the notebook to the side, Elliot gently pried the now empty mug of tea from the death grip his partner had on it, then likewise placed it on the nearby table as well. Pulling the troubled woman beside him into the comforting circle of his arms, he cradled her close, resting his palm against her cheek, and pressing his lips to the crown of her head.

"Olivia Benson, you are the best mother our daughter could ever ask for. I will tell you that as often as you need to hear it. As for Serena, I know you never wanted me to, but to this day, I wish I had given her a piece of my mind about the way she treated you. I get that we were still early on in our partnership, but I always hated seeing the hurt she caused in you. But, this is one thing I believe with every fiber in my being – she would absolutely, positively, be proud of the woman you are, and who you are today. Her problem was never with you, it was with herself."

Nuzzling even more closely into the security of her partner's embrace, Olivia bathed Elliot's skin with her tears. There was a part of her that cursed the still rampant hormones coursing through her body that made her more prone to wayward emotions, but she also knew that this was the catharsis that she had been needing for quite some time. She was also aware that the words Elliot had spoken couldn't have been more true. Not for the first time, she wished to change the outcome of her mother's circumstance entirely, if not for the ability to chance what had happened completely, for the opportunity to alter the timeline. If Serena would have been given access to the resources that were available today, things might have been so very different. But although it wasn't within Olivia's power to do that, she had dedicated her life to making sure that other women wouldn't meet the same fate, and fighting to ensure that they got to see the justice they deserved. Likewise, she would do whatever she could that the world her daughter grew up in might be even an even more compassionate one.

"Come on, Liv. We can do this another night. By all means, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't want you thinking I'm patronizing you, because that's not what this is. If you don't want to go to bed, we can watch something, or just sit here together and enjoy the quiet, but I think maybe you would do well to turn your brain off for a bit."

"As usual, you know me too well. I don't think I want to go to bed just yet, but I'm not too ashamed to admit if we sit in the quiet I'm going to go insane. It's only a little after eight, I'm sure we can find something to watch. Nothing too heavy, though."

"You've got it."

In the end, the pair ended up watching a police procedural show. Despite Olivia's pleas to not watch anything too heavy, neither of them felt as though that disclaimer counted, as they were entirely too busy picking it apart with inaccuracies and inconsistencies than paying attention to the more serious subject matter. By the time the hour long drama was over, both of the partners were yawning.

"Okay, El. Now, I'm ready for bed. I know I still have at least a month to go, but will you think any less of me for saying that I'm counting down the days until I'm allowed to take a bath again?"

"Not at all. Like I told you this morning, I'm not at all worried about the other stuff. I know we hear all the time about men who are only concerned about when they can have sex again once the women they are in a relationship with have given birth. I'm not saying you'd ever think that way about me, but I will tell you as many times as I can that I'd never put that pressure on you."

"I know you wouldn't, and I love you for it. But don't get me wrong, I miss that, too. Not just the physical aspects, but the intimacy. Maybe once I'm feeling a little more human, we can explore that a little more."

Elliot gently tugged Olivia to her feet so she was standing beside him. Tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, he pressed his lips to hers.

"Just let me know when and where, and I'll be happy to join."

"Glad to hear it. Until then, hold that thought. We should get some sleep before little miss wakes up for her next feeding."

"You just rest. I'll take the first shift."

Even though she was supposed to be sleeping, Olivia nonetheless awoke when Hope started crying two hours later. However, she remained in bed, and just stretched languidly when Elliot slipped from beneath the covers next to her and padded across the room to first pick up their daughter, then head out to the kitchen to retrieve one of the bottles of milk she had expressed earlier that evening. When he didn't return, she could only assume that he had chosen to give their little Peanut her late night feeding in the living room, in an attempt to ensure that she got the rest he had so insisted upon. Torn between staying in bed and heading out to join them, Olivia's decision was made for her when her bladder became entirely too demanding for her to remain where she was.

After a stop in the bathroom, she tiptoed out to the main room of their apartment, choosing to stand silently in the doorway for a few moments. Just as Elliot often found a quiet contentment in observing her, she had an equal enjoyment in watching him in his role as a father. Hearing the intonation in his voice as he spoke to Hope never failed to make her heart melt, and she doubted she would ever tire of it.

"Are you going to stand there in the hall, Liv, or are you going to join us?"

Not surprised in the least over having been called out, Olivia advanced into the room. Taking a seat beside her partner on the couch, she pulled her legs up to the side and rested her head on his shoulder, watching in the muted light as father and daughter had eyes only for one another. While Hope's vision was still somewhat limited at her young age, there was no question that their little girl was entirely transfixed by the sound of her daddy's voice, and much like with her mama, easily recognized and responded to both.

"She's already got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

There was no admonition in Olivia's voice, only love. Even though Elliot had yet to respond, she already knew what his answer would be.

"That happened before she was even born, Liv. You've known me for quite some time. I may come across as a total hard ass, but I'll always be a softy when it comes to my kids."

"Not just your kids, El. Any kids. It's why you're so good at what you do – what we do. You're the fiercest protector they can ask for."

Noticing that Hope was finished, Elliot pulled the bottle away, passing it over to the woman beside him. Carefully adjusting the infant in his arms, he gently began to burp her, while still continuing the conversation he was having with his partner.

"So are you. Not only the ones we encounter on the job, but I saw it in you the way you treated mine like they were your very own less than six months into our partnership. As the years went on, you were always one of their favorite people. And now, we're all family."

Olivia pressed a kiss to Elliot's cheek, lovingly caressing her daughter's hair as she did so. For a moment, it seemed that she wanted to say something more, but when she opened her mouth, all that escaped was a yawn.

"Go back to bed, Liv. We'll be in to join you in just a minute. I have a feeling this little Peanut is about halfway to dreamland as it is. I just want to make sure her diaper is dry before putting her back down."

"I feel like I should argue with you, but I know it would be futile."

Getting to her feet, Olivia headed back down the hall to their bedroom, making yet another preemptive stop in the master bath – even though she had just used it not that long ago. She was well aware that if she didn't, her own return to sleep would be short lived. Not long after she got settled under the covers, she heard Elliot approaching, singing a soft lullaby to Hope, who must have still been clinging to the last vestiges of consciousness. Just as he crossed over the threshold and took the final steps toward the bassinet, she must have ultimately succumbed to her slumber, as he pressed lay her down carefully and silently tiptoed toward the bed.

"Did you need anything?"

"Just you next to me."

"That, I can arrange."

As Elliot took his place beside Olivia, they immediately gravitated together. He could tell she was fighting sleep, but also that there was something else on her mind preventing her from giving in completely.

"Liv, what is it?"

"Sometimes it still feels like I'm living in a dream, one I very much don't want to wake up from. Even though I know this is really happening, I can't help wanting to pinch myself to remind myself that this is my life now."

"I'll happily remind you anytime you need it."

The two partners shared a kiss, which gradually deepened into a lazy but no less sensual mingling of their tongues in a languid dance. Ever mindful of the fact that a woman was completely overwhelmed with all sorts of sensations after giving birth, Elliot had allowed Olivia to take the lead when it came to matters of intimacy between them. Of course, he had not once held back on any sort of affection.

As the partners ultimately separated for air, Olivia tucked her head under Elliot's chin and snuggled more closely against his body. With a sigh of contentment, she drifted off to sleep, nestled safe in the embrace of the man she loved. Elliot on the other hand, was still very much awake, his mind running rampant. Yet again, it had been on the tip of his tongue to propose to run with his emotions and ask Olivia to marry him, but the last thing he wanted was to overwhelm her. He knew the way his partner's mind worked, even though he was well aware the love and devotion existed on both their parts, she still harbored a lot of insecurities. Plus, he knew that Olivia would want to wait until not only they were more settled with Hope, but also that his kids had adjusted more fully to life with their new sibling. So, for now, he would wait just a little bit longer, and spend every day showing the woman that he adored how much she meant to him.

With the feel of Olivia's soft, steady, exhales against his throat, Elliot allowed himself to drift back off to sleep as well. As much as he wanted to stay awake and reflect on the many blessings in his life, he knew that he needed as much rest as possible, as it wouldn't be long before Hope woke them yet again – not that he minded in the least. One of his last coherent thoughts was to send a reminder to his kids for their upcoming visit, instructing them to bring either headphones or earplugs along – perhaps both – so that their own slumber wouldn't be too disrupted by their youngest sister's somewhat haphazard schedule.

Just as he was closing his eyes, a soft sound from the direction of the bassinet made Elliot freeze, and he held his breath, hoping beyond hope that his daughter was simply making a noise in her sleep and not waking up again so soon. Thankfully, that seemed to be exactly the case, as after another gentle gurgle, all was quiet yet again. Not that he would have been upset if Hope had woken up, it was more he didn't want the interruption for Olivia's sake.

Calm returning to his mind and body once more, Elliot allowed himself to push the more intrusive thoughts to the wayside. Tucking his nose against Olivia's hair, he inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of the shampoo he loved so much. With the last conscious parts of his brain counting down the days until his older children arrived to visit, Elliot drifted off to sleep, content and happy.

A few days later, Elliot awoke in the morning, saving the few precious moments of quiet with Olivia in his arms before Hope woke up and the routine chaos began. Later that day, Kathy would be bringing his kids over for their first weekend visit with their sister, and he'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't a bit apprehensive about how everything would play out. His partner on the other hand, was a source of quiet calm and strength, the perfect counterpart to soothe his nerves. It wasn't that Elliot thought that things would go magnificently wrong, it was more that he was worried about how notoriously unpredictable adolescents would react when sharing a living space with a newborn who had yet to adapt to a steady schedule. It was almost amusing in the way that they had reached closer to this particular day, how he and Olivia had frequently traded places in their mindset.

Feeling the touch of petal soft lips graze against the pulse point of his throat, Elliot instinctively tightened his embrace and pulled Olivia even more closely against his body. Turning his head to breathe deeply of the scent of shampoo that his partner had used only the night before, he nuzzled his nose in her hair, and mumbled something that was equally a greeting as well as an apology.

"Morning. I didn't mean to wake you."

"I know. But it was inevitable. I'm surprised Hope can't hear you, the way you're thinking so loud."

There really wasn't anything he could say to that. Elliot knew Olivia was right. So instead, he offered a kiss by means of making amends, and was about to suggest something for breakfast when a wail broke through the silence of their bedroom. Neither of the partners resented the interruption, and merely looked at one another with a smile. However, it was Olivia who voiced the thought of both of their minds.

"If you could get little miss into a fresh diaper and feeling a bit more comfortable, then I'll nurse her. I might just eat something light this morning, then grab a bit of a nap while she's down for hers, I want to be sure I'm not falling asleep early tonight, and can enjoy at least one movie with you and the kids later."

To his credit, Elliot didn't second guess himself. He understood precisely where Olivia was coming from, and he was proud of her for taking the steps to get the rest she needed so she didn't push herself beyond her limits. He just needed to remember to show himself the same courtesy.

"Sounds like a plan. How about we split a bagel and some fruit today, and I can always toss something together if you get hungry later?"

"I like the sound of that."

Unsure whether it was good fortune or not, the hours of the day passed quickly, and before Elliot even realized, he had received a text from Kathy saying that she was on her way. Olivia was in the middle of Hope's current feeding, and filled with a sudden burst of nervous energy, he passed the remaining time tidying up, not that there was much clutter to clear.

Olivia was still rocking Hope when the knock sounded, Elliot having already buzzed his ex wife and kids up from downstairs a few minutes earlier. Even though the infant had a full belly had was likely fast on her way back to dreamland, both of the partners knew that everyone would want to see and fuss over her before her next nap.

Despite their obvious excitement, there were only hushed greetings when Elliot opened the door, an apparent reverence for the newborn within the residence who may or may not be sleeping. As soon as everyone saw that Hope was, in fact, awake, the volume level altered somewhat, but still remained at an acceptable level. After all the hugs had been exchanged, it was Kathy who addressed Olivia.

"How are you feeling?"

"Physically, I've recovered from giving birth, although parenthood has taught me a whole new level of exhaustion that I never experienced before, not even on the job. I wouldn't trade it for the world, though."

Reaching out a hand to rest it ever so gently against the downy crown of hair atop Hope's head, Kathy gave a soft smile.

"I remember that feeling well, especially when Maureen was first born. I'm sure you've thought the same, especially since Elliot said you were at your two week well baby visit just this week, but I can't believe how much she's grown already."

The two women shared a knowing look, now connected on an even deeper level by the bond of motherhood. Olivia caught sight of something in Kathy's eye, and picked up on the hesitation, but she wasn't insecure. She didn't resent Elliot for his relationship with his ex wife, and she knew Kathy didn't resent her. Theirs would truly be a blended family, and while not connected by blood, she knew this woman would be someone to play a role in her daughter's life.

"Would you like to hold her, Kathy?"

"May I?"

With a nod, Olivia passed the infant over, much to the disappointment of the younger Stablers. It was apparent that they were all eagerly awaiting their turn for another chance to spend time with their newest sibling as well, and Elliot suspected the only rivalry to take place this weekend just might be the jealousy over who got to spend the most amount of time with Hope.

After spending a few precious minutes, Kathy passed the baby over to Elliot, who then in turn handed his youngest daughter over to his middle one. Maureen would be over tomorrow to visit during the day, but was unable to stay overnight. With her arms now empty again, Kathy remembered the bag she had brought with her earlier, and walked back over to the entryway to retrieve it.

"This is for the two of you. I know you mentioned that Fin and John set you up with a meal delivery service, but I wanted you to also have a few things set up in the freezer that you can pull out at a moments notice."

"Thank you, Kathy. We appreciate it."

Olivia embraced the woman, and Elliot leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Not long after, she made her excuses to leave, but not without the reminder that they should call if they needed anything, and letting the kids know to be on their best behavior – a comment that earned smiles all around. Once it was down to just Elliot, Olivia, and his kids – well almost all of his kids – he spoke up.

"Okay, as soon as everyone has had a chance to spend a little bit of time with Hope, she's going to need a nap. Then, the five of us can spend a little time together. We can talk about what you want to do for dinner later, and even what movies you want to watch, or if you want to play any games."

Well aware of the fact that he was rambling, but unable to stop himself, Elliot continued.

"Now, I just want to remind you, that it might be a bit different than you're used to tonight. I know you've never spent the night here in the apartment with me and Liv before, and while Kathleen you might remember what it might have been like when the twins were born, you two have never really shared space with a baby."

Olivia reached out a hand, resting it on her partner's shoulder. The gesture was instantly calming. It also provided the opportunity for him to catch his breath, and gave the chance for Kathleen to act as the voice of reason.

"Dad, it's okay. We know that you and Liv are together. I get that I, of all people, may not have been your best cheerleader at first when it came to all of that, but I'm not lying when I say that I'm so happy for both of you, and I absolutely love my little sister. Secondly, we're here because we want to be."

Licking her lips, Kathleen looked over at the twins, and at their nod, all three of them reached into their backpacks. Simultaneously they each pulled out a pair of headphones.

"We came prepared. Plus, we want you to not be afraid to ask us for help this weekend if you need it. You guys deserve rest, too."

Friday night had gone better than Elliot could have ever imagined. There had been a few bumps with Hope, where she was a bit more fussy than usual, likely because she was attuned to the change in her environment. However, there had been nothing to worry about, because Kathleen and the twins had held true to their word, and jumped in immediately to help. They all took turns offering to hold their sister and offer comfort, and by the time Hope was ready for bed, Elliot and Olivia were certain their daughter was going to sleep very well indeed – at least until her next feeding.

Not wanting anyone to feel left out, the partners had immediately rallied around the older Stablers, and sorted out plans for the rest of the evening, which was quickly determined necessary to involve pizza and a movie. For her part, Olivia was still feeling animated enough to join in and participate, ultimately dozing off against Elliot's shoulder just as the credits were starting to roll.

"Well, if you three will forgive your old man, I think I need to head to bed. I know none of you are tired, but as long as you all keep the noise to a minimum -"

Not letting her dad continue, Kathleen soon interrupted.

"We know, Dad, and you don't have to apologize. You and Liv should get some sleep while you can before Hope wakes up again. We promise not to stay up all night, and if you'll let us, we'd like to make breakfast for both of you in the morning."

It wasn't what he had been expecting, but he certainly couldn't say no. Exchanging a glance with the woman by his side – and Elliot could tell Olivia was currently fighting another wave of wayward emotions – he was quick to agree.

"That would be great, thank you. Your little sister usually first wakes us up around six, but we typically don't eat until eight or so."

"Sounds good."

These were the thoughts currently running through Elliot's mind as he watched the love of his life nurse his daughter through her morning feeding. The memories from the night before were still fresh, and he was looking forward to what awaited him today. Of course, there was no way he could hide his pensiveness from his partner, as Olivia had always been able to read him like an open book.

"What have I told you about thinking so loudly this early in the morning?"

"Sorry, Liv."

Reaching her hand up, Olivia pulled Elliot's head down to rest against her shoulder. She had chosen to nurse Hope sitting propped up against the headboard this time as opposed to the glider rocker specifically to be seated more closely to her partner, and now she was infinitely glad she had done so. The instant her palm made contact with Elliot's face, she could feel the tension ebb from his body, much the same way he always had a similar effect on her.

"I thought you were doing better with your kids being here?"

"I was. I am. I guess I'm just a bit worried about finding out how everyone slept."

Pulling her gaze away from the infant nestled at her breast, Olivia directed it at the man seated beside her.

"El, this may be my first time sharing a living space with your kids, and that this is a transition for us all, but you've got to stop obsessing and just enjoy the moment."

"You're right."

"Of course I am."

The smell of coffee filtered down the hall, and as luck would have it, everything synced up with perfect timing. Breakfast was ready just as Kathleen and the twins had promised, with Hope down for her morning nap, Olivia and Elliot headed out to enjoy their morning meal. Likewise, no sooner than the partners had been seated at the table than Olivia's prediction from the bedroom came true in another fashion, with Elliot ultimately getting the reassurance he needed in knowing that everyone had gotten a restful night of sleep – everyone, perhaps, except him and Olivia, but that was a work in progress.

Ever the gentleman and family man, Elliot waited until everyone else had full plates before helping himself to the food. Considering it was the first time his kids had cooked in this apartment, they had truly pulled out all the stops, having made blueberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon – along with plenty of coffee for the sleep deprived parents.

"This looks amazing, you three. Thank you."

Olivia also offered her compliments and praise. Blueberry pancakes were her favorite, and she was deeply touched that detail had been remembered.

Maureen showed up not long after breakfast, though she was visibly disappointed that her arrival had coincided with Hope's naptime. However, the hours passed quickly, and Elliot's oldest was able to spend plenty of quality time with his youngest, and the juxtaposition of watching these two daughters bond with one another made his heart swell. His family had always meant the world to him, and seeing the way Olivia and Hope had been accepted was everything.

"What's this, Olivia?"

The question had come from Kathleen, pulling Elliot from his reverie. Following his partner's gaze to the item in his daughter's hand, he understood what was happening.

"You know I've already thanked you and your sister for the scrapbook you helped your dad with for my pregnancy. This is something to build from that and create a book for Hope that I can give to her when she's older."

"That is such a great idea!"

Everyone began talking then, almost all at once, and the excitement in the room rose to a near crescendo. Overwhelmed by the noise, Hope startled and began to cry, and silence fell once more, along with several guilty and apologetic looks. Maureen passed her sister over to Olivia, who began rocking the infant in an attempt to soothe her while Elliot made an effort to calm the others who were equally upset.

"It's okay, guys. You didn't do anything wrong. Liv will have her settled in no time, then maybe we can all watch something together again like we did last night."

True to word, Olivia's motherly magic worked like a charm. Hope settled and the happy atmosphere returned. Much to Elliot's delight, Maureen had even decided to stay the night, wanting to spend more time with her family. As he was going through his usual routine giving his little Peanut her midnight bottle, he was counting his blessings. From the bed, what he thought was the form of his sleeping partner stirred, then slowly rose to walk over and join him by the glider.

"This has been a great weekend so far, hasn't it?"

Cradling Hope close to his body with one arm, Elliot took Olivia's hand in his, bringing it to his lips.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Guess it was my turn for a brain that wouldn't shut off. It's nothing bad though."

Rubbing his thumb against his partner's skin, Elliot offered some gentle encouragement.

"Talk to me."

"Was just thinking about what the kids were saying about Kathy. Makes me wonder what Hope will say about me when she gets older. What kind of woman I will be in my daughter's eyes."

"The same kind of woman you are in mine. Compassionate. Empathetic. A Badass. A Warrior. My Everything."

With tears in her eyes, Olivia leaned down and touched her lips to meet those of the man she loved. That was exactly the reassurance she had needed to hear. Now she just had to prove it to herself, but with Elliot beside her, she knew it would be possible. Even better, as time went on, she would get to see the world through Hope's eyes as well.