Chapter Text
"It talks now?" Lucifer was not having a great day. He was supposed to just have a magic lesson with Charlie. He had even allowed Michael to tag along out of the goodness of his heart. And also, because it would be beneficial to have him around in case they needed another test subject. And boy did they. Something had happened when Lucifer was painstakingly teaching his daughter the art of protection magic, and Adam had almost relapsed. He still wasn't entirely sure what triggered the episode, but Adam seemed better now.
Not that he had been worried.
He didn't care about Adam outside of his usefulness. (He wasn't the Devil, after all.) And he certainly hadn't been panicked when he saw the First Man hunched over on the floor, trembling, eyes glazed over. He just didn't want to get bitten again- which was entirely valid given what happened last time.
"I mean," Adam squinted at Neo as he struggled to sit up on the couch where he was supposed to be resting. "I'm pretty sure we just heard him."
"Adam not Adam, say something!" Syn would enjoy something like this. She was much too happy to belong in Hell. It must have been the result of a programming error. Not on Lucifer's part, obviously- because he was perfect- but maybe Adam or Lysander had fucked something up. The clone blinked, looking between all of the expectant faces. Lysander, Adam, and Syn all seemed eager. Lucifer, being the only smart one in the group, was wary, and Michael? Lucifer looked over, trying to get a read on the mask-like face of the Virgil persona. It was almost impossible to do, so, Lucifer would write Michael off as being politely indifferent to the situation at hand.
"ϱniʜtɘmoƧ?"
The speech was... garbled? It was definitely not a language in the traditional sense, but Lucifer still understood. (Either the clone was a literalist, or it shared Adam's shitty sense of humor.) Adam looked... confused but elated by the fact that the clone did seem capable of speech. "I have no idea what you said, buddy, but it sounded important!"
"It wasn't." Lucifer assured him. "He just said the word 'something." This was going to be a pain to constantly translate back and forth.
"You can understand him?" Adam narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Lucifer sighed, pinching the bridge of skin between his eyes in frustration.
"Yeah, it's not hard."
".bɿɒʜ ,ɒʜ ɒH."
"Oh come on." Lucifer rolled his eyes. So, it seemed as if the clone had inherited Adam's awful humor. It sounded a little like Adam when it spoke, but more like The First Man was standing at the end of a long tunnel, it had an echoing quality to its voice. Adam grinned.
"I understood that."
"No, the fuck you didn't." Lucifer didn't want to even lay down the opportunity for him to be ganged up on by multiple Adams. It was his worst nightmare. "Virgil, I need you to fix something in my office. I can't deal with... this," the Devil made a vague gesture in the clone's direction."
"What about dinner?" Lysander spoke up as Lucifer was ready to take his leave. It figured the intern would ask about the food situation. "Adam can't cook. And I dunno about Neo." The clone gave a small shrug.
"I don't know how Quackers would feel. Neo is super cool and everything, but he doesn't have my big dick energy." Adam struggled as he finally got into a sitting position.
"Dumbass." Lucifer walked over to the couch and very gently pushed Adam back into a lying position. "Don't sit up, you're weak. And don't say shit like that in front of Syn, she's impressionable."
"Do I have big dick energy?"
"Only if you want to." Adam fell backward with ease beneath Lucifer's touch. "But maybe don't ever say those words ever again, okay?"
"Okay!"
"I told you; I can still cook." Adam returned his focus to Lucifer. "I feel a fuck ton better now." Again, he struggled to sit, but Lucifer just kept that hand on his shoulder. It was like a weight compared to the strength of a regular human. Adam sighed, slowly starting to slink back onto the couch. "Fine." He looked huffy, crossing his arms over his chest. "But someone has to tell Quackers. I don't want you ghost him."
"I don't know if I'm more shocked that you actually care, or that you knew what ghosting was." Lucifer snorted. Adam's knowledge on modern slang was typically pretty good, it was simply technology he struggled with. But the Devil couldn't resist the urge to tease him a bit- and by tease, he meant relentlessly mock, of course.
"Fuck you, I am incredibly cultured." Adam gave him an annoyed look. Lucifer moved his hand from Adam's shoulder to pat him on the top of his head, careful not to touch the shattered bits of the halo that floated above it. (Adam's hair had slightly different textures on the white and black side. That was unexpected. Lucifer couldn't quite tell how extreme the difference was through his glove, but it was noticeable enough for him to linger.)
"Sure you are champ."
"What are you doing?" Adam's glowing, golden eye slowly moved so it was looking directly at Lucifer's arm still on his head. The white eye didn't visibly move, but Adam was blind on that side anyway.
"Your hair feels different on each side." Lucifer might as well be honest as there wasn't really a better reason for him to have his hand on the top of the Sinner's head.
"Yeah, so does my skin. It's really fucking weird." Adam, strangely enough, seemed to understand. Lucifer let his hand fall back to his side.
"I will talk to Quackers. As his creator, he both loves and respects me."
"Quackers actually thinks you talk too much and that you have the palate of a five-year-old who had their taste buds burned off." Adam's commentary was unwelcome and untrue, so Lucifer was content to ignore it.
"Lysander," the Devil clapped his hands decisively, "make sure Adam doesn't go anywhere. Syn, order us some delivery. Neo..." he looked at the clone uncertainly. "I dunno... maybe go clean something." That seemed to be what Neo defaulted to doing anyway but at least now Lucifer could pretend that he was obeying orders. (Though Neo didn't seem particularly prone to objections.)
"ʞO!"
"We will need to choose a restaurant!"
"Adam knows what everyone eats, so he can help pick out our orders." Lucifer wouldn't usually delegate that sort of task, but Adam literally cooked for everyone daily, so he entrusted that the First Man knew what he and Michael liked to eat. And, while Adam might try and choose something terrible in order to be a dick to Lucifer in particular, he also knew that Michael, being the self-sacrificing asshole he was, would just let Lucifer have his food. And there was no way in Heaven, Hell, or even Port Gatory that Adam would screw over Michael.
"Just leave everything to me, fucking fine. It's not like I don't do literally everything else around here." Adam's snark was not a surprise. Lucifer raised an eyebrow at him.
"If I didn't give you a task, you would complain about how you're bored."
"Lies and slander. Can you believe him?" Adam looked at Syn for confirmation, which was probably a waste, as Syn often just blindly agreed with Lucifer.
"I will believe anything until proven otherwise."
"Maybe don't do that in Hell, Synshine." Adam had a weird habit of acting like he cared about the rest of the staff. He was such a good actor; Lucifer almost believed him. But, knowing that Adam was an unfeeling asshole who only ever cared about himself kept the Devil grounded. "Most people are lying."
"That's true." Lysander gave Syn a pat on the top of her little cylinder. "You shouldn't believe everything unless it comes from me, or Adam."
"How do I know I can believe you now?"
"Oi... good point." Lysander clapped his hands together politely. "See, you're already learning." The lights on Syn flashed a variety of colors.
"Hurray!"
"Let me ask Quackers what we want to do with the stuff for tonight-" Adam started trying to sit up again. Lysander noticed and instantly took a seat on the same couch on which Adam was laying, effectively pinning the First Man behind him against the cushions.
"Not today, mate, sorry!"
"Hey!" Adam tried to wiggle free, but Lysander draped his split tail on top of the Sinner, weighing him down even more. "What the fuck."
"I got my orders." Lysander turned to face Lucifer, giving him a salute as he practically squished Adam between his body and the couch. "He's goin' nowhere, boss!" The First Man looked at the Devil as he tried to pry himself out from behind the Hellborn, as if he expected Lucifer to intervene. Lucifer met his gaze, before turning his attention to Lysander.
"Just be careful of anything reflective, he's slippery."
"SERIOUSLY!?" Adam protested as he braced both hands against Lysander's back and tried to push himself away. Unfortunately- or fortunately, depending on one's perspective- there wasn't enough room for Adam to make a gap and free himself. Lucifer was a little worried about Lysander's earrings or the wristwatch, as Adam had been known to be able to enter and exit surfaces of any size. What the Fallen First Man lacked in size and strength, he more than made up for in mobility.
"Good point, Boss Man! Syn, c'mere." Lysander took his watch off and tightened it around Syn like a little belt. "Hold this for me, please."
"I feel pretty."
"Don't think he can reach m'ears." Lysander's long, pointed ears wiggled. "But just in case." He reached up, taking out the golden earrings and sliding the rings off of his fingers. (It was evident, now that Lucifer paid attention, that Lysander was from a rather high-ranking family as he always was dressed nicely, if not somewhat simply compared to Lucifer's usual tastes.) "I don't think ya can hold these for me." The intern frowned looking at Syn in front of him.
"I can try!"
"There's also the end tables," Lucifer pointed out. There was glass on the top of the two small tables that sat on either side of the couch, and the wood itself had been recently dusted and shined, be it by the hand of Adam or Neo. Either way it was a setback.
"I have an idea!" Syn flew up into the air before landing gently on Neo's head. "Move the end table, meat puppet!" Despite her attempts to sound sinister, she still came across as just... polite.
"Not sure if he's really a meat puppet." Michael spoke up, hands on his hips. "Since I don't really know if he has flesh in a traditional sense." Huh. Lucifer had readied himself for an entire speech about respecting others or some divine bullshit. It was almost funny that Michael played along.
"Good point! Onward puppet of unknown origin! Move the table!"
"ɘɿυƧ." At least Neo seemed relatively cooperative overall. He shrugged and lifted the first end table moving it away from Adam's reach. He then repeated the action with the second end table, leaving Adam virtually stranded behind Lysander. Syn seemed pleased with how things were progressing.
"Now take Lysander's jewelry and hold onto it."
"Oh, here ya go." Lysander didn't protest. He held out his hand and deposited the removed earrings and rings into Neo's outstretched hand.
"Are you really going against me, Neo?" Adam seemed aghast by the development as Neo placed the jewelry on the coffee table that was most definitely out of reach. Neo looked between Adam and the jewelry. For what it was worth, he did look genuinely torn by the choice. But he took a definitive step back, holding up his hands.
"... γɿɿoƧ."
"You chose well. I will allow you to be my hands from here on out." Well, at least Syn had found some kind of use for the clone.
"Right, well, as much as I love watching Adam suffer, and it truly is something I enjoy, I need Virgil to fix my shelf. So, I'm going to head upstairs to my office. Don't interrupt unless Adam tries to escape again." Lucifer had better things to do than watch Adam fight against medical advice. He sometimes wondered how Raphael hadn't snapped and killed everyone yet between patients like Adam and Michael who seemed to be allergic to taking medical advice- something Lucifer had clearly never done in his entire existence. He was the perfect patient, just as he was the perfect father, husband, and king.
"Don't forget about Quackers!" Adam quickly spoke up. "You have to tell him about me being sick. But maybe say I got injured like... saving ducks from a fire or something cool."
"I'm going to tell him you got stressed out and then threw up in my hat. Twice." Lucifer didn't feel the need to help Adam save face with a mechanical duck. The First Man looked horrified by the lack of cooperation.
"No! Why the fuck would you do that!?"
"Because you did puke in my hat on two different occasions." Lucifer was just going to have to give Adam a hat-shaped trashcan or something. "But I'll tell him about dinner. Come along, Virgil." A part of Lucifer truly enjoyed the fact that he was able to wave his hand and have the Leader of Heaven's Armies obey him like a puppy.
"Yes, you're majesty." Michael followed along behind as Lucifer headed into the dining area, poking his head through the double doors that lead to the kitchen.
"Quackers, hey."
"Quack." Quackers was on the opposite side of the kitchen, by the sink. Upon hearing the doors swing open, the sweet little duck head with the rosy cheeks slowly began to rotate on the solid, unmoving body.
"I was just stopping by to let you know that Adam's sick and he can't make food, so we're ordering take out." Lucifer saw the mechanical eyes narrow.
"Quack, quack, quack?"
"I..." Lucifer blinked, "I have no idea what you're saying."
"QUACK QUACK QUACK!?"
"You're just saying the word 'quack'! That's not a language, Quackers! You're not even quacking!" Lucifer was not planning to have an argument with an animatronic duck, but here he was. Quackers started rolling backward toward him, head still facing the Devil.
"QUACK. QUACK. QUACK!"
"Livingroom." Michael poked his head through the door beneath Lucifer's. Quackers's head snapped back in the correct direction, and he rolled back to the sink.
"Quack."
"No problem." Michael pulled his head back through. Lucifer withdrew as well, bringing his hand to his forehead and slowly bringing it down.
"How do you know what he wants?"
"Honestly? I just guessed." Michael gave a shrug. "I can kinda feel his intent because of my angelic nature, but I just assumed he was wanting to know where Adam was because they're friends. Not that it would do him much good, I suppose since he doesn't leave the kitchen, but still."
"He left the kitchen once." Lucifer wasn't entirely sure how that had occurred, but it had resulted in a drunk Adam being deposited at his feet. "Now let's head upstairs." He had performed Adam's trivial errands and now was the time to buckle down and deal with actual problems. And, as much as he hated to admit it, Michael was a key to figuring all of this out.
"Okie dokie!" Michael gave a small salute to Lucifer, rocking backward on his heels. It was uncanny coming from the typically emotionless face of Virgil. (Michael must have felt confident that no one was around, so he could behave more like himself.) Lucifer cringed.
"Don't do that. Transform or act like Virgil."
"Sorry." Michael let his hand fall as he followed Lucifer obediently up the stairs to the office. The Devil made sure the wards were intact as he opened the door. (He wasn't about to make that mistake again.) Everything seemed all right. He entered the study and closed the door behind he and his brother.
"I don't think we're getting back to Charlie tonight."
"As much as I would love to see my darling niece, I am not sure it's the best idea to leave Adam unattended after such a close call." Michael shook himself and the disguise vanished, leaving Lucifer face-to-face with his brother. "We don't want anyone getting bit."
"You think Lysander is going to be okay?" Lucifer, of course, didn't really care about his employees, but he still wanted to check.
"I am confident that if something did happen, Lysander would be quick to tell us. As would Syn, or maybe Neo."
"How can you be so calm about that?"
"About what? Adam? I mean, we've known about his condition for quite some time, I hardly think now would be the time for me to start having an issue with-"
"I meant Neo, dumbass."
"Oh... right." Michael put his hands on his hips, mouth drawing into a thin line as the eyes on his face squinted at Lucifer and the eyes in his halos looked curiously around the office. "Neo. Neo, Neo, Neo..." He shook his head, turning his gaze to the floor before the Halos glanced up to look back at the Devil. "You mean the spelling thing?" The halos squinted at him as Michael lifted his head to reestablish eye contact. "Right? Because Neapolitan isn't, traditionally spelled-"
"IT CAN TALK, MICHAEL!"
"Oh." Michael blinked, "yes, I'm aware. I was there when we discovered that." Lucifer let out a loud groan, smacking himself in the face.
"And that's bad. You can clearly see how that is bad, right? Like Adam- Adam the First Man- the guy who led Exterminations into Hell- can make talking duplicates."
"How do you know it was Adam?" Michael's question gave the Devil a moment of pause. He tented his fingers, slowly bringing his hands down.
"The fuck does that mean?"
"It might not have been Adam."
"Who else can make Adam-shaped mirror clones!?"
"Well... you." Michael was giving him an uncertain look. "You make doubles and things all the time. But I'm not saying Adam didn't make the clone. I'm sure he did. I'm just saying that it being able to talk and displaying signs of sentience probably wasn't Adam's doing. He's strong, but he's not that strong."
"So... what? Cthulhu did it?" Lucifer mustered up the most deadpan stare in all of existence as he locked eyes with Michael.
"Well, that seems unlikely, I don't think he's been in your house."
"Michael." Lucifer had to pinch the bridge of skin between his eyes. "I was exaggerating for dramatic effect."
"I'm not sure Neo is getting his power from anything Eldritch necessarily." Michael shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not picking up anything particularly... negative as far as his intentions are concerned."
"Right, but you know that Corruption messes with your ability to read intention." Lucifer's gaze went right to Michael's injured shoulder. The Archangel shifted, putting his good hand over the spot where the bite would be.
"I know... but something like this feels too... inane? Usually Corruption deteriorates a mind. Not always, obviously, there are exceptions to every rule. Like the `I before E Rule` in the English language. There are a lot of exceptions to that." The Archangel shook his head as if to clear it. "The point is: that this doesn't feel like the result of Corruption. Maybe I'm wrong, and it's always good to be safe. However, granting sentience is traditionally more of a holy power. This feels more like a mi-"
"DON'T you say it!" The Devil pointed his index finger sharply at his copy. "You had better not have performed a goddamn miracle in my fucking house."
"I don't..." Michael seemed like he wanted to protest more, but the halos gave Lucifer a once over and he must have decided against it after seeing how upset his brother was getting. "I mean... isn't that better than it being Eldritch?"
"No. No it isn't. I would rather it be Cthulhu." Having an Elder God doing insane magic in Hell was a lot more tolerable than having it be somehow related to Michael. If the Archangel's divine powers were so out of whack that he was granting life to arbitrary clones, then how long would it be before the Devil was living in a fucking Disney film surrounded by talking furniture!? (That, and there was the not so small issue of Michael's Corruption. Who knew if Neo would even be stable long term? What if he turned on them later? What if he hurt Adam? Because then Lucifer would lose their best source, and that would be bad. No other reason.) The Devil took a deep breath. He had a lot to process. "Fuck it, I'm going to call my daughter." He turned away from Michael, making the motion of shaking his head rather obvious as he pulled out his phone, dialing the number for his darling daughter. At least she would make his day better.
"Hey dad." The phone was answered rather quickly. Lucifer felt his heart lighten as he heard Charlie's voice. Lucifer cleared his throat. This was the time he was going to make a good impression on his daughter!
"Hey bitch!" Or not. "How the hell are ya?"
"Hi Charlie!" Michael perked up realizing that Charlie was on the phone. Lucifer put it on speaker, though he knew with Michael's enhanced hearing, it wouldn't matter. Still, he wanted to show Charlie that he was making an actual effort.
"Hi Uncle Michael!"
"Sorry we haven't been back yet," Lucifer could have corrected Charlie about Michael's status, but it wasn't worth it. He supposed in a sense that Michael had been making an effort to take on a familial role with his daughter. He was failing, obviously, because Charlie was too smart to fall for Michael's act. But still...
"Is Adam doing okay?" Charlie was far too kind to even ask about the Winner-turned-Sinner who was currently trapped on a couch.
"He's going to be fine, unfortunately." Lucifer sighed. "He's just a little worn out. Nothing some rest won't fix."
"That's good to hear." Charlie chuckled. "I was a little worried when you didn't come back right away. I know you don't like Adam, I don't either, but I still don't want the Corruption getting any worse." She was really too sweet for a place like Hell, the Sinners and Hellborns didn't realize how fortunate they all were. Lucifer figured he might as well take a peek at the First Man, just in case something had developed. He opened the door, carefully, and walked to the edge of the second floor, draping his arms over the railing. He could vaguely hear Adam's voice carrying from downstairs thanks to his enhanced senses. (Normally, that would be a curse, having to hear Adam even at a distance, but right now it made things a little easier.) The First Man was laughing, seemingly enjoying himself, despite the fact that he was virtually a hostage.
"Say: Zayin! Zay-in. C'mon. As in Lucifer is a zayin"
"He'll be fine." Lucifer wasn't sure why there was a smile on his lips. His face instantly fell to a look of annoyance as he answered Charlie's question. (Maybe just listening to his daughter put him in such a good mood that even Adam couldn't take him down.) "He's lying on the couch downstairs trying to teach Neo how to insult me in his native language." He leaned over the banister, shouting in order to be heard by the group downstairs. "I SPEAK EVERY LANGUAGE, YOU DICK!" (Which, ironically, was the word Adam was trying to teach.)
"Neo?" Charlie piped up in confusion as Lucifer headed back inside the office, closing the door once again now that his point was made.
"Adam named his clone!" Michael had to pipe up. At least he had stayed in the office when Lucifer went to check on Adam. He didn't want to explain to Lysander or Syn how Virgil fixing a desk (or was it a shelf? Lucifer couldn't remember the fake thing Virgil was supposed to be fixing.) had inadvertently summoned the Archangel Michael, like some sort of weird, fucked-up ritual. "Neo, it's short for Neapolitan, like the ice-cream. Though... I'm not sure if we are treating Neapolitan like a full name, and Neo is just a nickname. I mean, if we're talking about the most widely accepting spelling, there isn't actually a Neo in Neapolitan, but I don't know how good Adam is at spelling and it just feels rude to correct him when he's so proud of himself-"
"Michael, I am asking you this as a genuine question," Lucifer wasn't ready to dive down the spelling rabbit hole again, so he reached over, covering Michael's mouth with his hand. "But when you were made, did they remember to install a fucking off switch? Because you can go on for hours and no one cares." He lowered his hand down so the other could talk.
"Oops, sorry."
"Dad, be nice." Charlie stood up for her not-uncle. "I think it's great that you named the clone!" Lucifer heaved a heavy sigh. At least Charlie was able to find the silver lining. But the Devil wasn't so sure he agreed about this being a net positive.
"Yeah, well, new development: It can talk. So, now Michael isn't going to let me kill it because it might be sentient."
"It can what now?" Charlie sounded shocked, which was the first understandable reaction that Lucifer felt he had gotten all day.
"It can talk!" Michael was way too excited. "It's not easy to understand unless you automatically translate languages like we do, so I'm not sure how well Adam can understand it, but he understands Quackers-"
"No, no he doesn't." Lucifer had to interject before Charlie was deceived into believing that Quackers could actually be understood. "He just bullshits a translation, and everyone here blindly accepts his word as gospel."
"Why can the clone talk? Can the others talk?" Charlie didn't sound nearly as thrilled as Adam was. Lucifer felt relieved. At least he wasn't the only one who found the fact that Adam had made a talking clone to be unsettling. It was bad enough when they didn't talk. Now it was just making Hell worse- which shouldn't even, feasibly, be possible.
"This is the first one that talks." Lucifer tried to reassure his daughter. "It's also the first one to move around independently without direct command." He wasn't sure how comforting he could really be without a better explanation than: This just kinda happened. He could hear the incredulous tone in Charlie's voice as she spoke:
"Can Adam do that?"
"I'm not so sure this was Adam's doing." Michael finally decided to contribute to the conversation in the worst way possible. Lucifer let out an audible groan.
"Not this again, Mike."
"I'm just saying that something gaining sentience isn't really a power associated with Hell. I don't think it can be a Sinner power. It's angelic."
"Angelic?" Charlie repeated the word back. "So, you did it?" Lucifer gritted his teeth as he was fairly certain murdering Michael while his daughter was still on the line might make her a little upset. The Archangel must have felt the daggers from Lucifer's gaze as he stumbled on his words, trying to dig himself out of his hole.
"No. At least, I don't think I did. I wasn't really around the clone all that much. But there's always a chance. My powers have been acting up because of the Corruption. So, at this point, who really knows?"
"You're awfully relaxed about this shit, you know that, right?" Lucifer struggled to keep his voice flat as he kept his gaze on Michael.
"I don't see why I wouldn't be. This isn't really a bad development." The Archangel of Being Unable to Read a Room perked back up, mistaking the Devil's even tone for acceptance. It was true that Michael didn't sense anything amiss with Neo, and that was reassuring. But that might mean he would have to accept a second Adam, and Hell was already bad enough without adding more suffering. "In fact, I think it's pretty neat."
"God, you are so fucking obnoxious. I have no idea how we're related." Lucifer scrunched his face up at Michael's outlook. Blind optimism was only charming when Charlie did it. Michael let out a little gasp, covering his mouth, all the halos looking as if they might shed tears. (The last thing Lucifer needed was holy tears raining down on his floor."
"You acknowledged we're related!"
"No! I mean, you're like a weird, annoying, half-baked copy!" The Devil tried to take it back, but Michael was elated. Fuck.
"I think it's great that you guys are getting along." Charlie's voice sounded as if she were smiling. Okay. Maybe this wasn't a total loss.
"Thank you!" Michael reached out like he might try to go in for a hug. Lucifer stuck out a hand to hold him back as he spoke over his brother:
"We're not."
"Well, the bedroom is at least warded for right now. Or I guess I tried." Poor Charlie. Lucifer was hoping to spend the entire afternoon with her, carefully sculpting a perfect ward just for the Princess of Hell. They would even have the unique opportunity to test the effectiveness of said ward on Adam. However, that plan was cut tragically short by Adam nearly relapsing in the Hotel. Lucifer was the Devil, sure, but he wasn't going to leave Adam suffering like that. The First man had come so far from when he first Fell.
"I think you did just super, Charlie!" Michael had confidence in Charlie, and Lucifer did too. She was a Morningstar after all, and magic should come naturally.
"Thanks, Uncle Michael." The only trait Charlie didn't seem to inherit, was Lucifer's valid hatred and disdain for the Arcs.
"Needless to say," he felt the need to interrupt as he couldn't have Charlie and Michael establishing any sort of bond, "this whole clone talking fiasco is taking up a large part of our afternoon. So, we might not be back till tomorrow, if that's okay with you."
"It should be fine." Charlie was so understanding it was a little inspirational. She had patience that would give Raphael a run for his money. "We are going to the countdown clock tomorrow, so we'll need to work around that."
"Of course, of course." Lucifer assured her quickly on the other line. "We can just come by after you've destroyed the clock or whatever it is you're planning to do." If they wanted to burn everything to the ground, it was their right. They earned it.
"I don't entirely know what the plan is." Charlie seemed hesitant to commit to a plan that involved a massive destruction of Heaven's property, which was a little weird, as destroying things was just a part of Hell's culture. Lucifer's eyes traveled over to Michael who looked just a cheery as ever as he spoke up:
"As long as you're enjoying yourself!"
"Just let us know when works best for you." Lucifer was content either way. Honestly, he was leaning toward the destruction of that fucking timer. It was symbolic of a time where he had been weak bullied into submission by fear- the fear of Michael. Lucifer kept his gaze on the Archangel in question. Now, Michael was here, in Hell, in his very house. Lucifer had gone from fearing him to being mildly frustrated by him.
Times were changing.
"I will! I don't think we'll be out too late." Charlie sounded like she had some big plans for the anniversary. She was correct, things might still be closed. A lot of Hell's business shut down when the angels were expected to descend from on high. He couldn't blame them for their fear and caution. But this time the angels wouldn't come. This time... Lucifer could actually bring his people something he never could before: hope.
"I love you, Jonagold." The Devil snapped himself out of his thoughts as he could keep talking to Charlie all day and he knew she had places she'd rather be than reminiscing and theorizing with her old man.
"Love you too, dad."
"I hope you and your friends have a wonderful time destroying the clock! love you, Charlie!" Michael piped up.
"You don't even know her!" Lucifer felt obligated to remind Michael of his place in the Morningstar household. "You just met-"
"Bye dad." Charlie hung the phone up before she could bear witness to her father's complete tirade. That was fine. She knew that Michael was virtually a stranger.
"We should check on the ward tomorrow. I think she did well, but it was her first time trying by herself." Michael didn't seem phased by Lucifer's annoyance.
"We will but let her do her thing first. If she wants to destroy Heaven's stupid clock as a little Extermination Day treat, that's her prerogative."
"I don't think it's our clock."
"It is symbolic of the atrocities your people created." Lucifer didn't actually think Angels had come down and built the clock. He was fairly certain it was built by the Sinners as a way to keep track of the days in which they all might be brutally slaughtered. He assumed though, if Charlie decided to destroy it, that the tower wouldn't automatically repair itself as the buildings in Hell often did.
"I... I know..." Michael didn't deny it, for what it was worth. "I am glad it's over now and it will not happen again so long as I am still standing."
"So, it won't happen again: ever." Lucifer wasn't sure why Michael's words bothered him so much. It wasn't like the Archangel was going anywhere. Michael smiled, but it felt less confident than usual.
"Of course."
"You're not going anywhere, Mikey." Lucifer put a hand on the shoulder that wasn't injured and squeezed it. "I couldn't possibly be that lucky. Plus, then Gabe would be in charge, and I once saw him face-plant during a training exercise because he tripped over his own wings." Michael made a noise almost like a laugh, but he stifled it.
"How long ago was that?"
"A while, you weren't made yet."
"I think he's gotten better since then, Lu."
"Has he though?"
"Of course! And besides, he wasn't made for fighting... I was." The air seemed to escape from Michael as his posture deflated, the smile still there, but much less convincing.
"You're not just a soldier, Blue." Lucifer spoke without even thinking. For a moment, he saw that young Archangel he had spent centuries training, the bright-eyed little brother who only wanted to make the universe a better place. He moved his hand from Michael's shoulder to the top of his head, the golden curls felt like sunlight against his gloved fingers. "You're a leader, a protector," finally, the Devil's brain caught up with the rest of him as he realized what he was saying. "And a fucking wing-cutting traitor." He tousled Michael's hair before jerking his hand back as if he had just been scalded.
"Lu..." Michael's eyes were watering, there was silver gathering at the edges. Even the halos seemed to be struggling to hold back tears.
THUNK
"The food is here!"
"Oh, thank fuck." Lucifer let out a relieved breath as he heard Syn thumping against the office door. he had almost had a genuine moment with Michael. Disaster avoided.
"Coming." The Virgil voice coming out of Michael's mouth was almost uncanny. Lucifer cringed, before turning back to open the door.
"You best change ba-" the Devil was cut off as he felt arms around him from behind, a head burying into the high collar of his coat. Michael was hugging him.
"Lu, thank you."
"Unhand me." He didn't know what else to say, his mouth felt a little dry. He just stayed frozen like a stuffed animal or a statue as Michael squeezed him, trying his best to avoid getting rained on by holy tears dripping from the halos above Michael's head. He didn't want to explain burns to his staff.
"I love you."
"Dinner's ready."
"R... right." Michael pulled away, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. He was instantly in the Virgil persona once again as Lucifer opened the door.
"What did we end up getting?"
"Spaghetti! But also, Quackers made Adam soup."
"Aw." Michael followed behind as they left the study as Syn led them back down the stairs. "That was really thoughtful of him." Lucifer was more confused about how Quackers had made the soup without arms.
"Is the spoon reflective?"
"Lysander made him use plastic."
"Good on Lysander, I knew there was a reason that I hired him." In truth, the reason Lucifer had hired the intern was because he had gotten shitfaced and then Abdiel approached him about giving his son a job. But it was good to know that it hadn't been a mistake. Lucifer would take it as a win.
When he came downstairs, Adam was sitting, still trapped behind Lysander with a bowl of steaming hot soup and massive plate of pasta. It was good to know that his appetite hadn't been affected by the close call earlier that day. Everyone was eating in the living room, most likely not to leave Adam out. Lucifer could have gone to sit at the table like a king, but found himself sitting in one of the armchairs, eating food, and chatting with his brother, the First Man, his Hellborn intern, his virtual assistant, and a mirror clone. It was funny how things had changed- this was a far cry from eating alone in his room.
The food wasn't as good as Adam's cooking, but Lucifer kept that to himself. Hopefully, the Sinner would be back to cooking by the morning. He probably just needed to sleep. Lucifer needed his chef back in prime condition. Though, why was it that Quackers cooked for Adam and no one else? That seemed like bullshit.
The Devil kept an eye on Neo throughout the meal. They had ordered him a plate, but that was meaningless. They ordered Syn her own food and she didn't even have a mouth. (In fact, she spent the meal rolling around in sauce. That was going to be a nightmare to clean. Maybe Michael could push past Quackers to give her a bath in the kitchen sink. Or maybe Quackers would do it on his own as apparently, he could make soup, a faucet shouldn't be too difficult for him.) Neo was mostly pushing the food around with his fork. Lucifer was suspicious that Neo could not, in fact, eat because in theory he shouldn't even have insides. Neo did contribute to the conversation. It was very short, simple, one-word answers all of which Lucifer had to translate.
That was annoying.
By the end of the meal Neo took a single bite of the food. Lucifer squinted. Where did it go? It didn't look as if Neo spit it back out. In fact, Neo seemed to like it as he took a few more bites.
"booӘ."
"Holy shit! Did he say boob!?" Adam immediately perked up. He had finished his food and was laying, defeated, behind Lysander who was still eating. "Good boy, Neo! Where is the boob!?"
"He's not a fucking dog, asshat." Lucifer wasn't sure what Neo was but he doubted the clone would be appreciative of Adam's tone. "And he said good."
"Oh." Adam looked briefly disappointed. "I'll get the hang of what he's saying eventually, sorry Neo." He reached over to pat Neo on the head as the clone was sitting happily on the floor beside the couch, plate in his lap.
"ʞO."
"I can't." Lucifer gave a heavy sigh as he finished his food. "Neo, come upstairs." Neo looked confused, noodles hanging out of his mouth as he stared up at Lucifer.
"Leave him alone!" Adam started to struggle from behind Lysander again. He started to cough, and Lucifer got to his feet, putting a hand on Adam's shoulder, keeping him still.
"Take it easy, I'm not going to hurt him."
"He won't." Michael trusted Lucifer, and that was not something the Devil had prepared himself for, mentally. He looked back at the Archangel, who was also sitting contently on the floor with a plate of food. Adam seemed to relax a bit at the reassurance and stopped struggling.
"You better not, or I'll fucking kill you."
"Sure, dickmunch." Lucifer made sure his middle finger was on full display. Adam stuck his tongue out- it was funny to see that it was split down the middle just like the rest of him. The Devil gestured toward Neo. "Come on, let's go." Neo looked a little hesitant but moved his plate aside and got to his feet.
"Oooo, Neo got called to the boss's office." Lysander let out a low whistle. Syn sat up on her plate, red sauce dripping from her sleek metal cylinder.
"Can I go to the boss's office?"
"No, you stay down here and finish your food." Lucifer wasn't sure how Syn decided that she was done eating, but she seemed to have a system in place.
"Yes, Master!"
"Let's go Neo. Virgil, keep an eye on Adam in case Lysander gets tired or whatever." Lucifer could trust that Adam would be in good hands with Michael. Lysander leaned back, squishing Adam a little more.
"Sometimes I like to go out at night to attend riots. I do have a social life."
"Can I go to the riot?"
"No." Lucifer didn't want Syn getting broken, as he wasn't sure how he made her in the first place, nevertheless, how to fix her. She had been learning at an exponential rate recently, and he didn't want to undo all of that hard work. "It'll be past your bedtime." He assumed Syn had a bedtime
"Aw."
"Sorry, Syn, boss-man's orders. You can go when you're older." Lysander put his arms behind his head. "Not sure if there will even be a lot of rioting tonight because of the anniversary."
"Either way, be careful." Lucifer was confident that War's son could hold his own, but there had been isolated incidents of Corruption in Hell, and that was worrying. "I hate going through the hiring process so it's easier if you don't die. It was bad enough with Virgil."
"And we love Virgil!"
"Aw, thank you." Michael seemed genuinely pleased by the compliment. Syn liked everyone, so it was virtually meaningless, but Lucifer kept that to himself.
"Come on, Neo." Lucifer gestured for the clone to follow him once again. Neo nodded and followed Lucifer upstairs. Rather than going to the office, Lucifer took Neo into his workshop, closing the door behind him.
"What is your deal, Neo?" He looked at the replica as he took a seat at one of the work benches. He moved some of the ducks aside. Adam didn't come in here as frequently, so the cleaning wasn't quite on par with the rest of the house. Neo stared at him blankly.
"lɒɘႧ?"
"Yeah, your deal. What do you want?"
Neo shook his head.
"Everyone wants something, Neo, that's the way the world works." Lucifer reached under the table, grabbing a box. He knocked the ducks off of the top and reached in to grab the parts of spare equipment beneath.
"nɒɘlƆ?"
"You want to clean?" Lucifer snorted as he started tinkering with what was in front of him. "Maybe you're not as sentient as everyone thinks you are." After all, the Port Gatory staff were predominantly artificial, and they could talk, better than Neo, in fact.
"..." Neo was quiet, he looked thoughtful. He started picking up some of the ducks that had fallen into the path. He put them gently to the side.
"Neo."
"ϱniʞniʜT."
"You're... thinking." Lucifer snorted, glancing up from what he was toying with to observe Neo's actions. "Because to me, it just looks like you're cleaning."
"..." Neo gave him a look that could be described as annoyed, before going back to picking up the ducks. We'll, if nothing else, Lucifer would have a slightly cleaner workspace.
Silence fell. Lucifer worked, and Neo cleaned. He kept an eye on him, but the clone didn't seem to be up to anything unusual. He was actually making good progress cleaning. That was, until Lucifer heard a bit of a commotion as Neo fell over, knocking into the Heaven Phone which was still covered by a tarp and shoved into a corner.
"What happened?" Lucifer was on his feet at once. Neo was on the ground, rubbing his head, looking more startled than anything else.
"ʞɔυႧ!"
"Duck?"
"ʞɔυႧ!" Neo pointed at one of the ducks scattered around the floor. Lucifer made his way over to see several sprawled out on the ground. Neo pointed again. "ɘɿiꟻ!"
"Fire..." Lucifer picked one of the ducks up off of the ground. It did a little backflip in his hand before spitting out a small flame. "Oh, my fucking god." He started to laugh. "Did the amazing backflipping duck scare you?" He held out his hand, duck resting on his outstretched palm. Neo winced away at first, but seeing no fire coming out, drew closer again.
"beltratS."
"I think you were a little more than startled." Lucifer was amused by the reaction. He had never seen so much emotion out of Neo. Even now, as the clone picked himself up off of the floor and brushed the dirt from his robes, he looked indignant. It reminded Lucifer a bit of Adam.
"beltratS." Neo reiterated his point. He reached a hand out, toward the duck still in Lucifer's palm and gently poked it. It did another backflip, spitting out fire once again. This time, he didn't jump back, though in Lucifer's opinion, he did look a little uneasy. "ɘɘƧ?"
"I see you being afraid of it."
"oИ."
"I'm not arguing with you, Neo." Lucifer took the duck with him as he went back to his workbench. He placed the duck on the table in front of him. Neo gave it a wary look before picking the rest of the ducks he had scattered, up off of the floor. He paused, looking at the Heaven phone where the covering sheet had slid off of the reflective surface.
Huh.
Neo didn't have a reflection.
Lucifer supposed that made some degree of sense, given that Neo was a reflection. But mostly he was relieved to realize Neo wouldn't be able to pull out additional Adams because the Devil already had two too many. Neo put his hand against the glass, more out of curiosity.
"tnɘɿɘʇʇiႧ."
"It's the Heaven Phone. It's not a regular mirror, that's why it's different." Lucifer wasn't sure what Neo meant exactly but at the same time it wasn't shocking that he could tell the phone wasn't a normal mirror. He was made out of a mirror. Neo put his hand back down. "It lets us call Heaven from Hell."
"ʜO."
"You seem disappointed."
"oИ."
Neo put the tarp back up over the phone without Lucifer even asking and went back to cleaning. The Devil focused again on his pet project. At the rate Neo cleaned, Lucifer was going to have to have Syn half Adam's salary and give it to Neo. Adam had to serve Lucifer; Neo was kind of an added bonus. As Lucifer put the finishing touches on his work, he could see Neo standing over him, looking down. The Devil raised an eyebrow at him.
"Did you want something?"
"tɔɘtoɿꟼ."
"Protect?" Lucifer blinked at him.
"ɘɿoʇɘ𐐒."
"Bef... oh, you mean earlier?" Lucifer had inquired about wants when they first entered the room. "Are you trying to give me an answer to my earlier question?"
Neo nodded.
"Okay then," Lucifer sat back in his chair, looking up at the clone, feeling a bit like a boss giving a job interview, "tell me, Neo, what is it you want?"
"tɔɘtoɿꟼ."
"Protect who?"
"mɒdA."
"Protect Adam, huh?" Lucifer smirked, picking the device he invented up off of the table. Of course. Adam had created him; it was only logical that Neo would feel some sort of obligation toward him. "You better be telling me the truth, Neo." Lucifer got to his feet. "Because if I think you're a threat," he put a hand on Neo's shoulder, "I will fucking kill you." He kept the smile on his face, maintaining eye contact with the clone.
"ʜtυɿT."
"Good." Lucifer released Neo shoulder, using his newly freed hand to help hold the device he had just created. "Then, this is for you." It looked like a necklace, it was golden in color, more Lucifer's aesthetic than Neo's- not that Neo really had an aesthetic, he supposed. He liked pink. That was about all they knew.
"tʇiӘ?"
"You can call it a gift, turn around." Lucifer waited for Neo to turn away from him and he carefully clasped the necklace around his neck. "Turn back." Neo did as instructed, (if nothing else, he was obedient, that was good). Lucifer looked him up and down. "I'd as you what you think, but I suppose you can't really see yourself."
"No."
"And it works." The Devil was pleased with himself. He still had a knack for inventing, even without magic. (He could come up with a device magically, but it might vanish unexpectedly if Lucifer was overusing magic.)
"Works?"
"Yep, I made you a translator. Now, everyone can actually understand you, buddy." Lucifer patted Neo on the arm. This would be incredibly time saving in the long run, as now Lucifer, Michael, and Syn wouldn't have to play the role of interpreter every time that Neo spoke. And it would only get worse as Neo became capable of more complicated sentences.
"Oh."
"You like it?"
"Yes."
"Good." Lucifer headed toward the door. "Now, it's probably late, and I have no idea if you sleep or not, but I have had a long day, so, find a room, sleep, or just stand around awkwardly- whatever it is you do at night."
"Sit."
"You can sit; it's up to you." The Devil opened the door and headed outside with Neo trailing behind him. Downstairs, Michael was in his Virgil disguise, keeping an eye on Adam who had fallen asleep on the couch. Lysander and Syn where nowhere to be seen. "Did Syn go to bed?"
"She and Lysander went to bed. Or, well, Syn went to bed. Lysander said he had an online grudge match to settle with someone called Noobhunter69." Michael kept his voice down as he got to his feet. "Oh, you gave Neo a necklace."
"Translator."
"A translator." Michael corrected himself as Neo replied. Neo's voice was slightly robotic through the translator, but it was no worse than the echoing, voice he already had. "That was very nice of you." Lucifer scoffed.
"It was selfish, I just didn't want to be stuck playing an eternal game of telephone." He looked at Adam, sleeping soundly on the couch. "Guess it's a good thing that I warded all the rooms now. Could you imagine if I hadn't?"
"No, no I could not." Michael's reply was flat.
"That could have been a disaster."
"Good thing it was not."
"Sleep." Neo piped up.
"Right," Lucifer looked over at the Archangel. "You take Neo upstairs, help him get settled in, then you should also get some fucking sleep because you think I don't know about you staying up all night to do paperwork, but I absolutely do."
"Wh... what? I... I would... never..."
"Look me in the eyes and say that."
"Sometimes I just like to get things done, is that a crime?"
"It is when you're supposed to be resting. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if you die, but Charlie's gotten all attached and you still owe her over two hundred birthday presents because you're a deadbeat uncle."
"Oh my. Well, I would hate to upset Charlie." Michael stood. He smiled at Lucifer, though the Devil wasn't sure why. "Come on Neo, let me help you find a room." He headed toward the stairs, stopping before he took the first step. "Goodnight, Lu."
"That's your royal majesty to you, asshole." Lucifer watched them disappear upstairs before returning his attention to Adam. If there was something evil about Neo, he wouldn't dare try shit with Michael around, so Lucifer felt confident. He also didn't want Michael around in case Adam woke up. The First Man could sometimes be... confused when roused from sleep, and the Devil had the sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't want Michael to see him in his disoriented state. (Nor would he want the staff to see him like that, so, Lucifer knew he had to move him.)
The Devil knelt down, lifting Adam's sleeping body into his arms. He barely weighed anything compared to what the Devil could carry. Adam stirred, looking a little distraught. The wards couldn't keep out all the nightmares. Some of what plagued Adam's sleep came from the Corruption within. "Ng..." The First Man gave a little groan.
"Shh... it's okay." Lucifer kept his voice quiet as he carried Adam up the stairs. Adam's breathing quickened; the white eye cracked open.
"It's... dark."
"Open your other eye." Lucifer sighed. The language Adam was using... it was the ancient one. And, while Adam had been using it more and more recently, he doubted the First man knew where he was at the moment.
"Luciael?"
"Yeah..." It felt almost... wrong but Lucifer shifted his body to look more like his old, angelic form, his cheeks and eyes turning to gold. He couldn't make the halos. Not convincingly at least. But he doubted Adam would question it. "It's me." The gold and black eye opened as Adam seemed confused by what was happening around him. He started to try to move, but Lucifer held him firmly in his arms. The last thing he needed was for Adam to try walking.
"Why are you carrying me?"
"You got sick, Raphael wants you to rest, remember?"
"No."
"Don't worry, you'll feel better soon. But I need you to go back to sleep, okay?"
"...okay..." Adam closed his eyes again. "Thank you, Luciael."
"Yeah..." Lucifer shed the disguise. "No problem..." The door to the bedroom opened and Lucifer placed Adam down on his bed. He waited until the First Man's breathing evened out once again before the Devil finally got into his own bed.
What a fucking day.
At least, tomorrow would be better.
Ring
Ring
Ring
Lucifer blinked awake. Adam was still passed out in the other bed. At least he hadn't wandered off. That was a good start.
Ring
Lucifer fumbled for his phone, looking at the time it was later than he was expecting. But even more unexpected was seeing Charlie's number. Had she already finished with her little event? The Devil shrugged, answering the call. "Hey, bitch!"
No answer.
"Charlie?"
There was a very strange, static sound coming from the other end of the line. Lucifer squinted at the phone.
"Jonagold?"
The static got louder, Lucifer held the phone away from his head, it wasn't even on speaker, but it sounded like the static was pouring into the room.
"AHG!" Adam suddenly cried out, grabbing the sides of his head in agony, curling up into a little ball. "Make it stop! Make it stop!" Lucifer's grip tightened on the phone as the wards around his room illuminated.
FUCK.
The Devil smashed the phone in his hand. "Adam, stay." The First Man had stopped screaming and was lying panting on the bed.
"Y... yeah okay."
Lucifer wanted to go there instantly. But despite the fear in his heart, he had to keep a clear head. He'd fucked up once already and it had nearly cost him his life. He needed to protect Charlie. He would do anything to keep her safe. So, he threw himself out of the bed, transforming into his full, devilish form as he ran down the hall, slamming his hands on the closed bedroom door in front of him. "Lucifer?" The door opened as he saw Virgil before him.
"I... I need you."
"What happened?" Michael was so calm. He opened the door, and Lucifer ran into the room. He needed to talk freely.
"Charlie. I got Eldritch feedback from her phone. I think she's in trouble. We have to do something."
"Okay. Let's go." Michael didn't even question him, which was, honestly, a relief. The two ran down the stairs passing Lysander and Syn who were watching TV in the living room, before they ran out of the house. Lucifer grabbed Michael heading to the sky. He wasn't sure where to try first. She was supposed to go to the Countdown clock... but...
He needed to save her.
He needed to be there. To know she was safe.
He would try the Hotel first. He figured if it was the clock, then he should have been able to see some kind of commotion nearby, especially with the streets being as dead as they were. The Devil made it to the Hotel in record time, throwing open the doors. Michael shed his disguise, flaming sword appearing out of nothing. The helmet appeared over his head, he snapped, and Lucifer felt one enclose around his head as well. It felt in poor taste to be wearing a helmet reminiscent of the Exorcists, especially today but Lucifer really didn't have the time or resources to care. If it was Eldritch, this would keep them safe.
Hang on, Charlie.
Dad's coming.
There was a commotion upstairs. Lucifer flew to the source of the sound, Michael at his heels. The Devil felt his stomach drop as they reached where the sound had originated.
Charlie's bedroom.
The ward was completely decimated, reduced to black, viscous fluid that was dripping down the wood. It was reminiscent of the wards in his library that had been rotted away by the Corruption. Poor Charlie.
Michael's sword struck the door, and it went up in blue flame.
"CHARLIE!?" Lucifer barreled through before the door had even finished disintegrating. The blue flames stung his skin, but he couldn't care. He saw his daughter with her weapon out, along with Velvette for some reason. And... someone that kinda looked like him from the back. What was that about?
"h̵̘̫͓̤̘̉͊͋ò̸̬̤͂́.̷̩͚̥͕̹̠͎͖̈͒̉̿̉͐̕.̷̘̤̙̗̋̏̒͐.̷̳̖̝̔͆͆̓m̸̟̖̖͍͔̲͐̆͜͠e̵̠͎͠."
Lucifer felt nauseated as he saw a Corrupted creature clawing at a wall where Charlie had made a rather impressive, make-shift ward. Charlie immediately ran over to him, dragging Velvette behind her.
"Dad!"
"I knew fucking Angels were going to kill us today." Velvette seemed far less pleased to see them, but Lucifer didn't care.
"Great work on the ward, Char-Char." The Devil could see the Corrupted creature was already starting to strain the ward in question, the blazing red light was getting slowly dimmer. A burst of blue flame engulfed the wall, causing the creature to pull back. "Now you get Velvette and your friend downstairs and leave this to us."
"O-okay dad." Charlie wrapped her arms around him tightly. She grabbed Velvette and the weird guy in what seemed to be a Lucifer costume (not that the Devil could blame him, who didn't want to be the King of Hell?) It kinda looked like one of Charlie's puppets, it was a really weird time for her to be practicing ventriloquy, but who was he to judge. The puppet looking fellow was pulled along easily behind Charlie.
"Yes, let's get you out of danger-" funny, he even kinda sounded like Lucifer. But that might just be the side effects of the helmet. Once they were gone, flames consumed the rest of the room, blocking every possible exit.
"Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven..." Michael had his sword raised his voice was making the Corrupted creature recoil in pain. "Forgive me little one, and may your soul find peace in another life." Blue flames crawled along the floor, wrapping around the creature's body, pinning it to the ground.
"h̵̘̫͓̤̘̉͊͋ò̸̬̤͂́.̷̩͚̥͕̹̠͎͖̈͒̉̿̉͐̕.̷̘̤̙̗̋̏̒͐.̷̳̖̝̔͆͆̓m̸̟̖̖͍͔̲͐̆͜͠e̵̠͎͠. h̵̘̫͓̤̘̉͊͋ò̸̬̤͂́.̷̩͚̥͕̹̠͎͖̈͒̉̿̉͐̕.̷̘̤̙̗̋̏̒͐.̷̳̖̝̔͆͆̓m̸̟̖̖͍͔̲͐̆͜͠e̵̠͎͠. h̵̘̫͓̤̘̉͊͋ò̸̬̤͂́.̷̩͚̥͕̹̠͎͖̈͒̉̿̉͐̕.̷̘̤̙̗̋̏̒͐.̷̳̖̝̔͆͆̓m̸̟̖̖͍͔̲͐̆͜͠e̵̠͎͠." The creature was wailing now, but, fortunately, the helmet blocked out the worst of the sound.
"You are home, child. Now rest." Michael brought the sword down. "AMEN!"" The abomination went up in a burst of sapphire flames.
"You don't think that was one of the residents, do you?" Lucifer had to get his main concern out in the open while Charlie wasn't in the room. The flames started to subside, there were still bits of burning cloth and jewelry where the Corrupted creature had been.
"It was an imp, I think."
"Imp?" Lucifer's gaze lingered on the bits of burning cloth and jewels that were still being slowly consumed by the flames. The clothing, what Lucifer could see of it, looked... familiar. It had been difficult to see through the thick, dripping black ooze that the creature secreted all over its body. But as they were purified, Lucifer recognized it as the old work uniform for the palace staff. "... oh." He hadn't had employees in at least seven years. He couldn't even remember the last time he had seen one of his former staff.
"I'll have Raph come by and check over Charlie, Velvette, and everyone else. Who knows how long that poor soul was hanging around." Michael knelt down, examining the floor. "It looks like it came through here... must have been crawling around in the walls."
"Don't tell me we're going to have to rebuild again."
"Hard to say. I'll do a full analysis. You go check on your daughter. I know it's torture for you to be here while she's downstairs."
"I'll be right back." Lucifer didn't want Michael pushing himself, but the Archangel was right, he needed to know Charlie was okay. The Devil removed the helmet, running downstairs to see Charlie in the kitchen with Velvette. "Honey Crisp!"
"Dad!" Charlie was on her hooves at once, she ran to him. The Devil wrapped his arms around his daughter, embracing her tightly, closing his eyes as he finally let out a breath he felt as if he had been holding since the phone call.
"A-hem." There was the sound of a throat clearing and Lucifer felt something soft, pushing against his abdomen. "AHEM!" The softness was removed, and Lucifer felt a gentle tap on his back. He turned, seeing a full-on Muppet version of himself, complete with a top hat and cane. The felt eyebrows were tilted into a very angry expression as the puppet puffed its chest out, pointing its cane at the Devil. "Unhand my daughter, imposter!"
"Oh, dad," Charlie looked a little sheepish as she pulled out of the hug. "This is... um... puppet dad. It talks now." Lucifer blinked.
"What the fuck?"
A/N: Today's art is a little random, but I realized I don't have any art of the wives together? So I fixed it.
Eve and her Angel-Wife.
Now Adam just has to get his Devil Husband.