Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"This is going to be great!" Charlie clapped her hands together as she surveyed the reconstructed hotel. There was still an unshakable air of sadness, of loss... that lingered despite the overall sense of accomplishment. "We have everything fixed up, and now we can have a grand re-opening!" She was more trying to reassure herself, trying to build back to her original sense of optimism. However, she was finding that... difficult after losing a patron who had been making such progress.

She felt as if it were her fault- if she had only been more convincing- if she had been stronger, fought harder-

"A party sounds nice." A hand on her shoulder brought Charlie back to the present. She blinked, Vaggie was beside her, smiling, though Charlie could also see the concern in her eye. "After all this hard work rebuilding, we could all use a little treat." Instantly Charlie was feeling better. Vaggie always seemed to know just what to say to her (except about her really being an Exorcist but, honestly, how does someone even broach that topic? Like: "Hey sweetie, just so you know I used to murder your people." There really was just no good way to go about it).

"Who doesn't love a good celebration after a fierce battle and a quick rebuilding?" The synthetic sounding voice caused Charlie to turn. Alastor was behind her, smiling as widely as ever.

"I mean, you only kinda showed up at the end, but yeah, might as well lump you in with everyone who did something." Charlie's father had never liked Alastor- so while the comment didn't actually surprise her, it did make her a bit sad. Alastor didn't seem to be bothered, chuckling to himself.

"I helped in the fight, didn't I?"

"You lost."

"I saw it differently."

"How can you possibly see it-"

"Cookies!" Charlie hated the arguing. For a Hellborn she had a remarkable dislike of confrontation. Alastor and her father both turned to face her; she had successfully disarmed the situation. "If we are going to have a Grand Re-Opening Party, we need cookies."

"Yes, cookies."

"Of course! I'll put Niffty on it right away!" Alastor breezed past them to where Niffty was stabbing one of the remaining angel corpses. Rosie had been gathering them up, though Charlie dared not ask why.

"You know I could probably make cookies. It's not even that hard." Her dad still seemed so awkward around her. Not that she was much better... but... with her mom away on business (at least that was the explanation Charlie told herself every time her call was ignored) she wanted to try and establish something with her dad- something more than an awkward phone call about the weather once every few weeks.

"I know, dad, but Niffty was hired to help with all of that." She gave him what she sincerely hoped was a reassuring smile. She could see her dad's posture start to droop- for the Prince of Lies, he could be an open book at times. "BUT!" She had to think quickly. "We might need decorations!" Immediately her father's expression brightened.

"Oh, you are going to see the best decorations you have ever seen, Char Char! Sinners will be coming from all over Hell just to get a look at these!"

"That sounds perfect, dad, thank you." There! Situation successfully navigated. Her dad was happy, Alastor was happy, everyone was getting along.

"So uh, are we gonna be putting anything extra in these cookies, because after all this shit we need it." Angel Dust stretched his back with a cracking sound that made Charlie squirm a bit.

"You fucking said it," Cherri rested an arm on Angel's shoulder looking to Charlie for some kind of confirmation. "Because we just fought a Goddamn army. This party needs to be more than just milk and cookies."

"I don't think a rager is exactly what this hotel needs when our focus is actually redemption." Charlie hesitated to say a direct no as they all did work very hard to protect the Hotel. "But! There will be alcohol! Just try to remember moderation!"

"Will there be cocaine in moderation?" Angel leaned forward, one hand on his waist.

"Can you do cocaine in moderation?" Cherri smirked, bumping her hip into Angel.

"If you have a moderate amount~" The two burst out laughing and Charlie did her best to laugh along, assuming, hopefully, that they were kidding. But just in case...

"There is not going to be any cocaine at the party. Sorry." She gave her best apologetic smile. Cherri snorted.

"Lame."

"Eh, go easy on her Cherri. There'll prolly be weed in the cookies or something. You know how weird shit gets when Niffty's cooking."

"They are just going to be regular cookies. If you want anything extra, supply it yourself." Luckily for Charlie, Vaggie didn't seem to mind laying down the ground rules. "Hopefully they are going to be different cookies than the ones she has been holding onto for six months." Vaggie looked briefly over to Charlie, lowering her voice. "Please tell me they are going to be different cookies."

"They should be, I'm pretty sure those got destroyed with the rest of the hotel." She genuinely hoped they had.

"She's baking new ones." Husk had finally made his way over, glancing behind him at Alastor who was still talking to Niffty in the distance. Charlie couldn't quite read his expression. "And she got rid of the roach problem, allegedly."

"Did she though?" Angel's skepticism was shared, but Charlie hated to admit it. "She isn't gonna like... put roaches in the food, is she?" Shit. Charlie hadn't considered that. And Husk's noncommittal shrug did absolutely nothing to reassure her.

"Fuck if I know."

"How about," she had to speak up before they were all eating King Roach Cookies, "you help her in the kitchen. As like... a supervisor?"

Husk looked back over at Niffty and Alastor, then back at Charlie. She could tell he was considering his next move carefully, his ears twitched, he crinkled his nose as he saw Niffty picking something up off the ground, show it to Alastor, and then start to walk toward the kitchen.

"You know what? It's a good plan." And just like that he was over by Niffty trying to pry something out of her hand.

"I think you just stopped a disaster." Angel made a face, watching the struggle with amusement.

"Oh, thank goodness." Charlie let out a breath she hadn't really realized she'd been holding. "Well, I am glad we are all going to be able to have a nice, relaxing celebration! And... maybe take a moment to remember..." she trailed off, her chest ached, she felt a familiar burning in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay..." immediately she felt Vaggie's arm around her, pulling her close. She felt so much better as she put her head on Vaggie's, the soft white hair tickling her nose, strong arms embracing her. "I know how much you miss him... how much... we all miss him..."

"We really do." Another hand was on her back, Charlie sniffed, looking up, seeing Angel beside her.

"And we fucked up the sonuvabitch responsible!" Cherri gave her a reassuring grin. "It's what he woulda wanted. Guaranteed."

"Charlie~" her dad's voice cut through the somber moment as he bounded over in excitement. He paused, seeing everyone gathered around his daughter, seemingly realizing he was interrupting something. "Is... now a bad time? Are... you okay?" He seemed so genuinely concerned; Charlie was touched. It helped her try to compose herself once more.

"Yeah, just... missing Pentious, that's all." She wiped her eye on her sleeve, pulling away from Vaggie so she could smile at her dad.

"Oh, Charlie, I'm so sorry I-"

"It's fine dad." This was not the way they should be starting off a grand re-opening. "Really." She cleared her throat, "so what is it you wanted?"

"Oh... um..." he seemed a bit taken aback by her desire to change the mood. "Right! Decorations!" He grabbed her hand in his gloved one, dragging her to the front of the hotel where two lavish fountains of gold could be seen with flowing chocolate and wine where the water should have been. Ornate lighting covered the hotel facade, nearly drowning out its usual colors, a lavish red carpet was sprawling out from the door. Charlie's lips drew into a thin line as she looked it up and down.

"It's nice." It was clear he had tried hard, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings. This was the first time in... well... forever that her dad seemed to actually want to help her with something. But at the same time ... "it's just a bit..."

"Much?" Once again Vaggie was able to say the words Charlie was too polite to voice. "Angel! Get the fuck out of there!" Sure enough Angel had plunged himself into the fountain of wine, mouth open, head back, back arched as he rested on his hands. Angel didn't reply for a moment, his mouth full of wine.

"It's a fucking wine fountain, Vaggie. Why would it be here if we aren't supposed to use it." As soon as he was done talking, he resumed the position, now accompanied by Cherri Bomb, both of whom were getting absolutely drenched. Lucifer watched with his hands tented, a look of dismay on his face.

"I see the problem."

"It really was a nice gesture it's just-" Charlie didn't even get to finish before he snapped his fingers and the wine turned into regular water and Angel and Cherri both let out sounds of annoyance.

"At least we still have the chocolate one." Angel huffed, hopping out of the fountain and sticking his head under the next one. "This'll be the first time your dad got me all sticky~"

"Oh please don't." Charlie's response came so quickly she surprised herself. "That's my dad, Angel."

"He could always be my daddy-"

"Angel!"

"Fine fine." Angel seemed more interested in the chocolate anyway. Charlie looked back to her dad who went from looking distressed to perturbed.

"Dad I am so sorry about-"

"It's fine Char-Char! Nothing I haven't heard before. I assure you!" He smiled up at her and all traces of the concern were gone from his face. "What else should I change? It's your party, I want this up to your standards."

"How about less lighting and no red carpet? But maybe an open house sign? Nothing too flashy, just something hand painted! Oh! Maybe put a rainbow on it?"

"Can do!" Her dad clapped his hands and the blinding lights vanished, the carpet rolled up into nothing, and a cute hand painted sign reading: Grand Re-Opening: Open House Inside, appeared on the front lawn. A cute little rainbow framed the text. Charlie clapped her hands looking quite pleased.

"Oh thank God that got changed. What an eye sore."

"Really?" Lucifer instantly whipped around to face Alastor. "Fucking really? I want to see you do better!"

"I'm not in charge of decorations, my good man." Alastor smirked as he twirled his cane and tapped it lightly on the ground. (Hadn't that been destroyed? When did he fix it? Ah well, Charlie could always ask him about that later.)

"He did his best. And I really like what we have now." Charlie waved off the comment. It was going to stress her out to have these two constantly fighting. This was supposed to try and bring Sinners in. And, while a fight might actually draw a crowd, it wasn't the kind of publicity the hotel needed. "So why don't we go inside and get this party started!?"

"I miss the wine." Cherri huffed a bit but headed inside. Charlie still wasn't sold on the fountains, but they were only temporary. At least, she hoped they were only temporary. She could always talk to her dad about it before he left. Which reminded her, she hadn't actually asked him about that.

"You... are staying for the party, right dad?"

"You want me to?" His entire demeanor perked up. "I mean, sure! I'm not busy!"

"Not busy? Then what is it you do locked in your house all day? You're not making public appearances."

"I mean," his expression instantly fell back into one of annoyance. "I am busy. Incredibly busy. But never too busy for my daughter. In fact," Lucifer pulled his phone out. He looked briefly at the screen, his eyes widened for a moment, and then he quickly shook himself. "I'm silencing my phone right now. This is about Charlie, after all. Not about work."

"Oh, I mean, dad, if you're busy I understand..." Charlie really didn't want him to get behind on any work. The expression he had made looking at his phone had her slightly concerned.

"No no no no!" He grabbed both her hands. "No, no I am definitely available. Phone's not coming out. I'm here for you. Completely."

"Aw dad..." She squeezed his hand. "I'm happy to hear that, thank you, it means a lot."

"And I will be happily in attendance as well! I can even be in charge of music! I know a thing or two about hosting ~"

"Aren't YOU busy? Don't you have a commercial break to cut to? Or someone else to bother?" Charlie tried not to sigh as her dad instantly snapped back on Alastor. "Maybe go pick up some groceries."

"Nonsense! As a long time supporter of this whole endeavor I should be there at such a milestone! Don't you agree, Charlie?"

"I mean... he is the manager, dad." Charlie rubbed her arm as she hated picking sides, but Alastor had been there from the start. He was the one who helped get her idea off the ground, though his motivations were... probably not great (no, Charlie, have some confidence in your friends... maybe... a healthy amount... of confidence). He still was a constant figure she could turn to in a time of need.

"It will be a grand gala, indeed!" Alastor mused, putting a hand to Charlie's back, gently ushering her inside. Lucifer tried to bat his hand away, but he ignored the attempts. The inside was just as perfect as Charlie could have dreamed, the picture of Pentious made her both sad and proud. Angel and Cherri were already inside talking, Charlie saw Husk with a tray of cookies in one paw and Niffty under his arm. With a wave of his cane, Alastor filled the room with upbeat, old-timey music. Charlie took a deep breath, this was the beginning of a new chapter. She could do this, she could relax, have some fun.

"Do you want to dance?" Her heart fluttered as Vaggie held out her hand. "I mean, I'm not much of a dancer, but I can certainly try."

"I would love that." Charlie instantly gripped her hand. Vaggie pulled her out into the middle of the room, an arm around her waist as the two began to move across the floor.

"I think everything is looking great, Charlie. The hotel is even better than before." She spun the princess around, drawing her close once more.

Dancing always made Charlie feel so much better. Moving to the music, or singing her own special songs, it had a way of making everything melt away into nothing. The stresses of the world rolled off her shoulders, dissipating into the air as the music swept her up. It was as if it were just her and Vaggie. She could do this all day.

"I thought you said you weren't a dancer." Charlie laughed as Vaggie twirled her around.

"I'm not, not much of one. Especially for an angel."

"I think you're amazing!" It was her turn to take the lead as she lifted Vaggie up, spinning her, before putting her down; never missing a beat.

"I am nothing compared to you." Vaggie laughed, reaching a hand up to gently caress Charlie's cheek before putting it back on her waist.

"Can we do a few more songs?" As the music started to lull, Charlie was far from ready to stop dancing. As long as she could keep moving, there was nothing else that could consume her mind.

"As many as you want~ I am pretty sure I can keep up." Vaggie gave her a little wink, and Charlie's already rosy cheeks flushed even brighter.

They danced for five more songs; Angel and Husk were on the dance floor now, Cherri was at the snack table, Alastor was tapping his foot to the music, Niffty sitting on his head. Charlie was able to survey them all as Vaggie guided her around the dance floor. For once, everything seemed back to some semblance of normal.

She saw her dad; he was... distracted? Charlie craned her head a bit to watch him, he was looking uncomfortable (which wasn't all that strange for him) but he was staring at a wall in the back. His expression was surprisingly focused, like he was silently observing something. She followed his gaze to see if maybe he was having some sort of pissing contest with Alastor again but... Alastor was nowhere in his line of sight. In fact, the only thing Lucifer could really see given his angle was a window that was tinted to hide the world outside.

Charlie squinted at the window too. Was it something about the design he didn't like? It didn't look that bad. In fact, Charlie happened to like that window. She was just about to shrug it off entirely when she noticed something... moving? She squinted harder, maybe it was just her imagination, but she swore she had seen something pressing against the glass. Suddenly, Alastor's music warbled unnaturally causing her to misstep.

"Are you okay?" She was looking back at Vaggie now, the former Exorcist looking quite concerned. Charlie looked back to the window, nothing looked amiss now...

"Yeah, the music just messed up. It threw me off." Charlie laughed, doing her best to shake off a feeling of unease that had slowly creeped its way under her skin. Vaggie pulled her to the side, off the dance floor.

"I didn't hear it... but you know more about music than I do." She waved it off, taking Charlie's hand in her own. "You just looked a little... unnerved. You feeling okay?"

"Oh yeah!" She tried to dismiss the concern. "I just saw dad looking at something and honestly it just kinda looked like a window to me." She looked back to her dad who was now trying to push Niffty off of him. He didn't look quite so focused anymore. (Maybe just annoyed). "He was probably just spacing out and I overthought it. I do have a habit of doing that."

"You do." Vaggie mused. But she did look over at Lucifer trying very hard to dislodge Niffty from his leg. "He seems fine now. At least... as fine as he can be given I don't think this is really his scene."

"Actually, dad and mom used to host parties for the higher ups when I was little..." it had been so long since Charlie had thought about those lavish parties, the elegant music, the extravagant outfits... she always looked forward to them, even if she was too young to really participate. But it had been ages since they had one of those big events, maybe her dad was just out of practice? Or this was too small and intimate for his comfort.

"It's hard to imagine your dad at a party, no offense."

"You haven't seen him when he's schmoozing."

"Fair." Vaggie squeezed her hand. "Hey why don't I get us some drinks?"

"That sounds amazing..." Charlie relaxed as Vaggie headed to the bar to make them something. Maybe a drink could help take the edge off. She knew she was just stressing herself out, focused on trying to make everyone get along, expand the hotel, prove a point to Heaven. There was a lot on her plate right now.

Her dad had dislodged Niffty, and now the one-eyed girl was on her hands and knees scrubbing something on the floor. Someone must have already spilled something. That really wasn't surprising. Charlie made her way over, the least she could do was thank Niffty for her hard work in the kitchen. The scarlet haired maid was hard at work scrubbing a wine stain. That figured. "Scrub scrub scrub scrub~" She was singing to herself.

"You don't have to worry about that now! This is a party!"

"Sometimes ladies like to keep a tidy household." Niffty replied as-a-matter-of-factly. "Which you should really know cause you're a lady."

"Right..." At least she wasn't warring with the roaches... right now. "Why don't I give you a hand then?" She saw something had splashed onto the wall near where Niffty was cleaning. It must have been one of the mixed drinks, as the color was dark, almost black, and it seemed to almost be staining the wall around it. She picked up one of the rags near Niffty and squatted down to start to wipe up the mess but as she reached forward someone grabbed her wrist so suddenly it made her jump.

"Char Char! No need to be cleaning, my little apple! This is your party, isn't it?" Her dad had her wrist locked tightly in his grip as he plucked the rag from her hand. "And it looks like your lovely girlfriend has a drink ready for you~" He ushered her toward Vaggie who was coming back from the bar.

"I was just going to-"

"Cleaning at your own party? Save that for when it's over! Am I right? Of course I'm right! Here, allow me~" He snapped his fingers and a burst of light pulsed through the hotel leaving it sparklingly clean. Niffty let out an excited cry as the stain vanished.

"I HAVE VANQUISHED YOU! AND YOU SUFFERED TILL THE END!" And with that she picked up her cleaning supplies and ran off.

"Oh, um, thanks dad."

"Don't you worry about a thing! This is a celebration! It's fun!" He patted her on the back.

"I got us drinks." Vaggie handed her a cup. "Hey, Mr. Morningstar."

"Hi Vaggie!" At least he had gotten her name right this time. Charlie had to give her dad credit for the improvement.

"Dad... is..." the thought of his focused expression was still lingering in her mind. Maybe she was making assumptions based on his strange behavior. Maybe her dad was just... strange and that was something she was going to have to live with as they tried to build a sturdier relationship... but still... "Is everything... okay?"

"Yes?" He looked genuinely confused by the question. "Why?"

"I just... saw you kinda spacing out earlier... I got worried."

"Was I?" He gave a shrug. "I guess I'm just taking it all in. My baby girl, growing up, living her life, accomplishing so much..." tears started to well in his yellow and crimson eyes.

"Dad please don't-"

"HELLO HOTEL!" The doors flew open, and the music screeched to a halt as a plump blonde woman burst her way headfirst into the party. "It's me! I'm back! You're all so welcome~"

"Who did you piss off this time, Mimzy?" Alastor looked mildly annoyed, through the smile. Charlie knew he didn't really like interruptions at the best of times, but these two seemed to have a history so Charlie wasn't particularly concerned.

"No one! And even if I did I don't need your help." She scoffed at the notion. "I have new friends, who support me!"

"You joined a cult?"

"Of course not! But I am going to join: this hotel!" She made a grand gesture around her to the rather confused onlookers. "I am ready for redemption!"

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"Now Alastor," Charlie took a deep breath, she didn't even get a chance to enjoy her drink. "The hotel is open to everyone. But... um... why the change of heart?"

"Because I see what you're trying to do here, and I support it! I am a business owner myself. Owned a club when I was alive, and now I own a small business selling wonderful products to Demons like yourself! Have you ever heard of DamnWay?"

"I have used their shampoo..." Charlie tried her best to know most of the bigger companies in Hell. It was her job as Princess, after all. "But what does this have to do with redemption?"

"What's more redeeming than two small business owners trying to help each other!? Plus staying in this business is expensive and I heard this hotel is free." Mimzy pulled her down so she could put an arm around Charlie's shoulders, drawing her close.

"You know if you stay here you have to do the activities, right?" Charlie had a feeling the housing was the real reason Mimzy was here. But that's how Angel got his start. And Pentious got his by actively trying to sabotage the hotel. So, she couldn't exactly turn Mimzy away based solely on ulterior motives. She looked to Alastor who simply shrugged. It seemed the decision was hers and hers alone.

"Of course, of course! And you know I have some products that could really help get these activities up and going." She made a broad gesture in the direction of the foyer. "I'll even give you a friends and family discount on account of the fact that you and Alastor are so buddy-buddy."

"You can stay here." Charlie sighed; she really didn't have to heart to turn someone away. "But you can't bring trouble here. And you have to participate. The purpose of this hotel is redemption. "

"Right, sure honey."

"Have you thought about joining full time?" Charlie had her doubts about Mimzy, but she still had Cherri as a potential recruit. The demon looked from Charlie to Angel, then back to Charlie.

"I dunno about all that, princess." She made a face. "I may come visit from time to time, but I'm not looking for a quick trip upstairs, especially not after slaughtering a whole lot of 'em. I doubt that'll make me very popular."

"Awe, c'mon Cherri! You get to stay with meeeee~" Angel leaned his body weight into Cherri, squishing their cheeks together. "Plus, we're probably on some kinda Celestial Hit List. And you love fucking shit up!"

"You got me there." She grinned at him, leaning right back against him, poking his cheek playfully with her index finger. "Ahhhh, fine. I might stay for a few, see what this is about."

"That's great! Not the thing about the hit list. I don't love that image being put in my head. But having you on board will be just fantastic!" Charlie hadn't really considered Heaven' response to their struggle. She doubted they were just going to wave off the fact that they had slaughtered quite a few Exorcists. Her dad put a hand on her, smiling reassuringly.

"It is a good idea, Charlie. I think you can really accomplish something. And if Heaven doesn't agree, they can get fucked."

"Thanks dad." That did really make her feel better. He tugged gently on her arm, pulling her closer so he could whisper in her ear.

"Seriously though, don't join DamnWay when it's offered to you. I know the Sinner who runs it. It's a Pyramid Scheme."

"O-okay dad." That was completely unsurprising, if she was being honest. He released her arm and patted her on the back.

"And with that! I am off! I have a lot of important business to attend to." He spun around tipping his hat to Charlie. She returned to Vaggie's side, looping an arm in hers, sipping her drink.

"Thanks for coming, dad!"

"I love visiting! Anytime! I mean it." And with that, he spread his wings and took off, back to the sky. He seemed to be in a better mood- if he had even been in a bad one to begin with. Charlie was, honestly, not sure. All in all, things were starting to resemble normal again.

There were still a lot of unknown factors: the Exterminations, Heaven's response, the very concept of Redemption... but the Hotel was back together, and everyone seemed to be in okay spirits. Maybe things were finally starting to improve.

Chapter Text

Everything was decidedly not okay.

In fact, things were becoming increasingly less okay by the hour. Lucifer didn't like the idea of leaving Charlie, but this had to take precedent. After all, she was his daughter, she could take care of herself in most situations. This was probably one of those situations, however, he couldn't be sure because he wasn't entirely sure what was going on. He just knew that it was bad and was probably something he was going to need to deal with... himself.

He scrolled through the slew of notifications and messages he had missed while he was at the party as he finally reached his destination. He put his phone away, looking up, his eyes fell on the large door to his mansion, a place where his happiest memories had been built. His gloved hand lingered on the door before opening it. Despite knowing what he would find, a flicker of hope welled up inside as the light from the bloody red sky flooded into a dark foyer. Perhaps there would be the silhouette of a woman, tall, commanding, returning home from whatever business she was doing...

His heart sank back into his stomach as the room was, once again, empty (save for the plethora of ducks that had made their way to the sides of the room. Upon retrospect, it was probably for the best Lillith wasn't here to see this. She wouldn't have liked how crowded he let things get.) They did have staff, Hellborns mostly, though Lucifer had let many of them go in the time following Lillith's departure as they were really more of her staff rather than his own. He didn't really want to see Hellborns bustling around busy when all he actually needed was to be left alone with his thoughts. So, one by one all of them were dismissed until all that was left was one lone intern that Lucifer had been talked into hiring one night after he had too much to drink. He was some high up Hellborn's son, but Lucifer couldn't be bothered to remember whose kid it actually was. He barely saw the intern anyway. Who knows where he had gotten off to during the fight with the angels.

"SIR! I found my ax! I am ready to help with the angel invasion!" Speak of the devil- or in the case- the devil's security intern. The young man came sliding into the hall, tripping over one of the ducks, nearly impaling himself on his own ax. Lucifer quickly used his own magic to move the blade to the side, so the demon simply fell on the his face.

"Thanks for the enthusiasm but that was handled... like... yesterday." Was it yesterday? Time moved so weirdly in Hell it could be a little hard to keep track. Not for Heaven, apparently, who loved to keep a countdown timer to murder. Or maybe it was just difficult for Lucifer, as he had so much else on his mind. All the others seemed to be good at it. But his life had been such a whirlwind recently that all the days were starting to run together in some sort of monotonous blur. "But your readiness has been noted. So, you can... go I guess?" He looked him up and down, he was a tall, young adult- nearly Charlie's age. He had dark curly, crimson hair, pale blue skin with pointed ears sticking out from the thick locks. Black horns curled in like those of a ram, the color matching the sclera of his eye, sat at the sides of his head. Red lights that made up his pupils gazed back at
Lucifer as he blinked. Looking confused. "Go on. Do whatever it is you do." He tried to shoo away the only living member left on his staff. He really didn't want to interact with anyone right now. Or ever.

"O... oh..." the demon looked slightly disappointed. "Sorry I missed it. I didn't want to show up unarmed. And I didn't want to use the wrong weapon? You know Angels are so complicated and-"

"Cassio, you're dismissed." Again, he gestured for the demon to leave.

"M... me?" The intern Hellborn gestured to himself.

"Yes. You are literally the only other person here."

"My name is Lysander."

Lucifer let out a long, arduous sigh. This was why he didn't want any staff left. They always complained about one thing or another. Either he forgot their name, or they didn't want to share a room with several thousand ducks. (Plus, he had no desire for his subjects to see him in his current state. Weakness made you prey in Hell.) "Okay, Lysander then. You are dismissed."

"Yes sir! Let me know if you need me for anything!" Finally, the intern started to take his leave before stopping again. "Syn is looking for you."

"Of course she is." Lucifer cringed a bit, knowing exactly what would be waiting for him as he ventured further into the house. All he wanted was to look at some old magic items, and yet he was about to be endlessly harassed by one of his own creations- his personal living hell.

Syn was Lucifer's attempt at making life, as the Ruler of Hell, easier. Heaven had something similar in the Metatron, a being that made things flow smoothly for everyone- one of God's most respected creations. But Lucifer knew he could do better. It was a good concept, but Heaven never really had a flair for creativity. They often overlooked potential in favor of what was "good enough". Hence why they had their previous ... disagreement.

Of course, Hell didn't have the same resources as Heaven, so while the Metatron was her own unique being, Syn was... a work in progress. 

"Master, you have returned." A synthetic voice blasted through his peace and quiet. And there she was, flying in with her translucent wings. She was more or less a cylinder with blinking lights and little fluttering wings that made an annoying little buzz whenever she would get too close. She couldn't do much, but she could talk. Oh God, she could talk. Lucifer had bigger plans for her, but she had been a creation of necessity. After Lillith had left, Lucifer had trouble keeping track of all his duties in Hell. He never really enjoyed them, Lillith... she had loved them. She had thrived on the throne. With her gone, Lucifer needed someone, anyone to help him try and maintain any semblance of a normal life in the face of the public. "You have missed: one meeting. "

"Have I? The thirty-seven texts you sent didn't really get the message across."

"Your meeting was at: 11:00 AM."

"Yep."

"It is now: 6:30 PM."

"It sure is Syn. Glad your clock is working."

"This is the 15th time you have missed this meeting."

"Yep, you mentioned that in several of your texts."

"I assumed you would need reminding as it is clear you did not read many of my messages given that you did not respond, nor return for many hours."

"I read them."

"Then why not return as per my request?"

"I was busy."

"Were you having: cry time, again? I can add it to the schedule."

"No! No. That is not something you schedule! And also," he cleared his throat, "not something I do." He wasn't sure why he was trying to save face with what was more or less a glorified calendar app. But his ego was not going to allow this to slide.

"Your last session was: Tuesday at 2:45 AM."

"Annnnd, that's enough, Syn!" He spoke a bit louder than perhaps he was intending, especially because the ten-inch cylinder that made up her core was getting closer and closer to his head. He lifted his cane, pressing the apple against her and slowly pushing her back, out of his face. "If you must know, I was bonding with my beloved daughter, Charlie."

"I know Charlie."

"You know of Charlie." He hadn't made Syn until Charlie was already out of the house. In fact, Syn had only been around for a few years, which was why she was still so low-tech. Perfection took time. Sure, God made the Heavens and the Earth in a day, but honestly? He'd been to both, and they were both disappointing at best.

"Last communication input regarding: Charlie"

"You don't need to pull that up-"

"Tuesday: 3:47 AM." The synthetic feminine voice switched over to sound exactly like Lucifer himself. "Syn, text Charlie and tell her how much of a dick all the angels are and they- they don't deserve her and that I love her. No wait- Syn, delete message do not send that! "

"You... really don't need to record everything I say. You know that right?"

"Yes, I must! It is why I was made. I am your voice!"

"No, you were made to help with appointments and maybe- I dunno- be an alarm clock or something? You do not leave the mansion, Syn." That made him stop for a moment. "You... don't leave right?"

"I am not allowed to leave the mansion!" She sounded proud of herself. "And leave the mansion I do not! "

"Oh, thank God." Lucifer let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. The idea of Syn reciting bits of his depression spiral to random sinners or Hellborns really wasn't going to help his image.

"I will thank God. " again, Lucifer's blood chilled for a moment. "What is the number?" relief washed over him like a wave. Syn chatting up Hell was bad, having her contact Heaven would be a disaster. Luckily the ways to reach the upstairs were few and far between and Syn was not nearly advanced enough to make a direct link herself.

"Syn, I need to go to my study." He wanted her off this topic before he ended up on some kind of uncomfortable phone call with some bitchy angel manning the phone lines. Last time he had gotten in contact with Heaven directly, they decided on yearly slaughter sessions. And now that he had fought back, he doubted they would be super happy to chat.

"What about your meeting?"

"Surely, they've given up by now, Syn. It's been seven hours."

"Seven and a half."

"Yeah, they aren't sticking around that long."

"They said it was important-"

"Reschedule it." There was no way anyone would wait around that long just to see him. He didn't really remember who the meeting was even with (he had deleted all of Syn's text-onslaught on principal), but meetings tended to be mostly listening to Hellborns with a false sense of self-importance ranting about one thing or another and expecting Lucifer to listen and/or care. Which nine times out of ten, he ended up just nodding his head until the demon gave up and left). That could wait. This? This was actually important, something that needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later. If that meant he missed another several hours of droning, so be it.

"To when?"

"I don't care Syn, just... later. Now, I need to go to my study. I have important work that needs tending."

"Your study is this way!" She began fluttering off.

"No, it's not. That's the direction of the workshop. The study is over this way." He gestured with his cane down the opposite hall, making a mental note to rework her HPS. Syn turned around, flitting toward the opposite direction. She stopped, tilting slightly to the side.

"We never go this way."

"It's a whole wing of the house, Syn, surely we've been at least once." Lucifer didn't particularly want her company, but she was surprisingly hard to shake. Maybe he should have just let her go the other way.

"No. I am not allowed this way."

"Really?" He looked back down the hall. It really had been some time since he had allowed himself to go back into his study. It wasn't often that he felt the need to look over old things when he could make new ones far more easily. Perhaps that was simply the result of his creativity.

"Last time I tried was: five years ago. March 29th at: 7:23 PM. You yelled at me. "

"That really doesn't sound like me"

"SYN !" Again, the synthetic voice switched back to his own: "STOP! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH THAT! DON'T EVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THIS WING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?" It took him a moment, hearing himself shouting, the rage and pain in his voice was clear even in the recording. When had this exchange taken place? He thought for a moment, before his eyes fell on the beautiful portrait, the woman with the sunlight hair who captivated him even in painted form.

Fuck.

Lillith's stuff was still here. She loved this part of the mansion. All the books, scrolls, and items he had collected over the centuries were stored away here. They used to spend hours together, him showing her things from a time before man, before he had ever fallen. The happy memories of this place turned into a knife in his soul. It nearly knocked the breath out of him.

His finger trailed in the dust that was slowly gathering on the banisters. His mood was instantly soured as he became painfully aware of how empty this felt. The chaos outside was deafened by the large, stone mansion walls meaning the only real sound around him was the irritating buzz of Syn's vibrating wings. His other hand tightened on his cane as he started up the stairs. Syn was hovering over the threshold.

"Master do I-"

"Just go to my workshop and archive my newest creations." Having her go with him, to have a synthetic little device hovering where he once sat in a loving embrace, enthralled by wonderful conversation- the idea made him fucking sick.

"Yes master."

He quickened his pace as Syn fluttered away without protest. With all her many, many faults, she was at least obedient... for the most part. But the last thing he needed was her constant hovering or questions as he had to sort through some delicate information. Not everything in this area was for the common demon. There were actually some powerful, dangerous artifacts Lucifer had either gathered or invented himself. It wasn't a place for something as clunky as Syn. He was lucky the intern never wandered his way over by accident. He would need to put up some rope or something, or else he would come back to find a charred pile where the intern had been. At least he stored the really dangerous stuff properly. (He was... pretty sure he had.)

He came to one room at the end of the hall, the heavy, white marble doors were inlaid with golden decoration. There was no clear handle or way inside. Lucifer took a deep breath, the horns coming out of his head, the flame igniting between them. His tail whipped around; his wings fluttered as they were set free. Lucifer held out his hand, the fire from between his horns began to float toward the door. As it moved closer, more lines of gold could be seen only in the flame's light. A pentagram became visible, the fire settled right in the center and suddenly the door started to move, splitting down the middle and slowly swinging outward.

The fire returned to between his horns as he walked forward into the newly revealed room. The walls were adorned with old tapestries, telling stories of battles long past. There was one that boasted his own personal rise to power down below- while the top half was long ago burned in a rage, the bottom half was in good repair, the part that explained how he had met the woman who made him believe once more, how they had created the most beautiful child...

Lucifer walked straight toward it, taking it off the wall. He held it for a moment, his hands began to ignite but as he looked at the perfectly embroidered face of a young Charlie, the flames disappeared. He found he couldn't fully destroy it. He was mad right now, but this would pass. He still had something good that came from these memories. With a sigh, he simply folded it up so that only Charlie was visible, laying it off to the side.

With a wave of his hand all the other decorations floated off the wall, the doors closed back up leaving him completely alone in the room. It was round, the walls in a perfect circle, tall, stretching overhead and converging where a lavish chandelier was dangling. Lucifer walked directly into the center; the floating decorations disappeared in a burst of smoke. Lucifer pressed his cane into the center of the floor. At once the walls around him began to light up with an otherworldly glow. The floor beneath his cane shifted and a glowing orb ascended from beneath.

The Infernal Eye.

(He and Lillith had picked the name together.)

Lucifer rarely used it nowadays; it was an old invention, made back when Hell was smaller, less crowded. It made things easier to oversee. It had been Lillith's idea. She was concerned as the crowds began to build that they might lose control over the increasingly chaotic masses. She used it more than he did- but Lucifer himself had more power, more knowledge, more reach than his wife (well... ex-wife) when using the orb, as his own magic could greatly increase its natural power.

Lucifer removed his gloves, placing them to the side, the glow of the item bathed his blackened fingers in its light. He gripped the warm glass and all at once the walls of the room began to spin, his hair flew upward, defying the gravity around him. His wings spread out to stabilize his body. The white orb filled with a burst of crimson smoke, the vapor shifting until it formed a single eye, the pupil darting all about. His own eyes had faded out into nothing but a solid, yellow glow, no longer blinking but staring blankly ahead. The walls around him began to project images, things in Hell, Sinners, Hellborns- all going about their daily lives. Nothing seemed out of place. The chaos was nothing new, the fires, the violence... that was just your typical average day down below.

He had sworn he had sensed something at the party. It was subtle... very faint... but he knew that there was something... lingering in the air. What it was... it was too early to tell, but he knew it didn't belong. Charlie had seen it too, and that scared him. Hell was dangerous, yes, but the dangers were easy to identify, they weren't mysteries- not to him. The sheer fact that Lucifer was having to search to try and identify the exact issue was, in and of itself, a problem.

As he scanned through the familiar landscapes of the rings of Hell, nothing was jumping out at him. However, the more he searched, the more he felt... antsy. An itch was starting to become more prominent under his skin. Perhaps he was just out of practice, or using the Eye brought up memories from a happier time that now weighed on Lucifer like chains. The longer he searched, the more agitated he found himself becoming. This used to be such an easy thing to do, scan his domain, find anything that was out of place. But with the bigger crowd, it was more time-consuming and tedious.

He reached the Hotel, everything looked fine. Inside he could see Charlie laughing, talking with some of her Sinner friends. Vaggie watching over her, protectively. It made Lucifer stop for a moment, lingering on the image. The only good he had ever brought into the universe, and here she was, doing her best to make the worst place in existence better. Maybe he was letting his own stress get to him. It was possible that nothing had been amiss in the first place. He hadn't been himself since Lillith left, perhaps... with the constant, deadly threat of Heaven that hovered over them, he had let himself get carried away. It was the curse of creativity that his mind could take an idea and run with it, finding conspiracy where there was none. (And honestly with the Exterminations- there was enough actual conspiring going on that Lucifer really didn't need to fabricate anything additional. And yet...)

He breathed a sigh of relief as the eye finally swooped out of the hotel, overseeing the battlefield. The sight of the Cannibals gathering the fallen corpses of angels and Hellion alike didn't exactly leave Lucifer feeling great. But-

Lucifer's inner thoughts were brought to a sudden halt as the image of the battlefield briefly became distorted. The forms of the corpses and living alike became warped, bits missing, colors altered in unnatural ways- colors that the eyes of most species couldn't even comprehend. The images stopped moving, only flickering as if the screens were stuck- but that was impossible. This was simply magical projections- not one of Vox's cheap junk-of-the day devices. It lasted for only a split second, but Lucifer couldn't look away. The image was completely awry in all directions.

Then it wasn't.

Everything was back to normal. The projections were fine, everything looked the same as when he had been on the battlefield himself (save for the number or corpses. They had really been doing a good job cleaning the place up.)

Lucifer began scanning the area over and over again. He KNEW what he had seen. The Eye didn't just glitch out. This was something he had made during his prime years. He had used it so many times, even Lillith had been able to use it to oversee things that required more... finesse. The item wasn't malfunctioning- it couldn't-something had to be blocking the signal... somehow. (Actually, that seemed less likely, now that he was thinking about it. There wasn't much that could interfere with it.)

There was Rosie directing her clean-up crew. There was a Sinner walking by to look at the devastation. There was a 666 News Crew filming the carnage to garner higher ratings. This was all perfectly expected.

There was the front of the hotel. (Oops he's left those fountains up, hopefully Charlie didn't mind that).

There was a cannibal tossing remains into a cart.

There was the corpse of a slain Exorcist, discarded over a rock.

Actually... now that he was looking at it, the corpse looked a little... off. Almost... flat. More like a silhouette than an actual body.

The corpse sat straight up. It turned to look directly at him, its head still slightly askew on its body as it smiled an open-mouthed grin of nothing but glowing white light.

Pain seared through his hands and Lucifer immediately dropped the Eye. The images completely vanished, the room stopped spinning, all the items that Lucifer had dissipated returned and clattered messily on the floor, and Lucifer found himself once again in the empty room. He looked down at his hands. They looked fine- or well- no worse than usual. He scrambled to find the Infernal Eye where it had fallen on the floor. He rolled it over in his hands, trying to evaluate it for any kind of damage.

Nothing.

Everything looked the exact same as it had when he started.

But this time he knew he hadn't imagined anything. Something was definitely wrong in Hell right now.

His palms were sweaty, his hands shook as he tried to activate the Infernal Eye once more- to look back at the battlefield where he had seen the distorted visions. Was this some sort of fucked up retaliation from Heaven? It seemed... sudden...

... underhanded...

He couldn't rule Heaven out as the cause of this... but there seemed to be another... equally (if not more) likely source. After all, the first time he noticed something off, it was at the hotel, and now it was just outside.

He used the Infernal Eye on a smaller scale to look for one individual in particular. A smirking son of a bitch with sharp teeth two-toned hair, and a voice that made you want to punch him directly in his smug little face. The image instantly distorted. Lucifer knew it was going to happen this time. Alastor had a peculiar way of always dodging having his image copied.

That wasn't all too surprising.

But the rest of it? These were all signs.

It was time for Lucifer to look into: The Radio Demon

Chapter Text

Today would be a good day.  

Nothing in particular made it good, but Alastor just had the sneaking suspicion that today was just going to be... well delightful.  

Alastor grabbed a neatly wrapped package from his desk, tucking it under his arm. He had a busy day- not too busy- but enough that he wanted to go ahead and get started before places got too crowded, or burned down thanks to an impromptu riot, which was a common enough occurrence to be irritating but was not a guarantee.  Still, it was best to get things accomplished early so he could relax the rest of the day and watch the trash fire, that was this hotel, continue to entertain.  

Charlie and Vaggie were already downstairs. Vaggie was on her phone while Charlie was trying her best to politely listen to Mimzy drone on and on about her "products". He had left her alone for only a little while and she'd gone off and joined another Overlord. At least it was one of the more tolerable ones, he supposed. It wasn't Vox. If anything, Charlie was really the one who was going to suffer in this arrangement. A tender heart like that was going to be bled dry by Mimzy's constant sob stories. Honestly, it was a clever plan on Mimzy's part, perhaps too clever for it to have been one of her own creation.  

"You see there is more than just shampoo! There's an entire line of kitchenware, clothing, makeup, even nutrition and health products!" Mimzy had a little display set up and Charlie was nodding along, though her eyes kept darting to Vaggie who was mindlessly scrolling on her phone.  

"That does sound nice!" Charlie was being polite, Alastor could tell. But Mimzy couldn't, and that was the set up for quite a bit of entertainment.  "Oh, Alastor! Hey!" She acknowledged him as soon as he came down, probably trying to use him as a way to escape Mimzy's hostage situation of a presentation.  

"What's in your package?" Vaggie was giving him a suspicious look. Alastor just kept smiling back at her. 

"Nothing for you, I'm afraid. But please don't let me interrupt! Mimzy was just telling you all about the plethora of products that her new company specializes in! Isn't that fun?" 

"Exactly! And the ones I listed only scratched the surface of what DamnWay can do!" Mimzy was smiling at him. She probably assumed Alastor was helping her, but honestly, he had ulterior motives for letting her go on. After all, he wasn't one of the ones having to listen. He could leave whenever he wanted. 

"Look, it just sounds like an awfully large array of products.  They can't all be that good, can they?" Vaggie hadn't looked at Mimzy once from the time Alastor had come downstairs, but perhaps she'd been paying attention after all.  

"Go back to those knives you were telling us about!" Niffty was on her stomach, on the floor, face in her hands, legs swinging back and forth in the air. "You said they can cut through anything?"  

"Oh, for sure." Mimzy brought one out. Niffty reached toward it, but Mimzy kept talking and her gestures moved it right out Niffty's reach, much to the tiny maid's dismay. "They are great for cooking! And self-defense. You know how hard we beautiful ladies have it in Hell."  

"Mmhmm." Charlie's expression made it clear she was ready for the pitch to end. "Listen, Mimzy, I really appreciate your enthusiasm to be here at the hotel, but... um... this," she gestured around herself, "isn't really a Redemption activity."  

"I want the knife!" Niffty was on her knees now, making a swipe for it when Mimzy walked by.  

"Nonsense! What is better for redemption than reaching an understanding about your fellow Sinners! They're hopes!" Mimzy lifted the knife up as Niffty made another grab. "They're dreams!" She brought it close to her chest causing Niffty to miss again. "They're career!" She spun around and Alastor could tell Niffty was getting increasingly aggravated.   

"GIMME THE KNIFE!" 

"Oookay! Why don't we all settle down." Charlie caught Niffty midair as she tried to launch herself at Mimzy full force. Alastor raised an eyebrow; Niffty wasn't easy to handle so he was mildly impressed Charlie had been so swift to step in. "And focus on an actual redemption activity!"  

"But I haven't even gotten to tell you about all the holy items that we have! Great for protection when Heaven inevitably retaliates against you and everyone you love and care about." Mimzy protested as she held up a little bottle for Charlie to see. Alastor saw the princess cringe at the mention of Heaven. "Trust me, honey. You are probably going to need it."  

"You have holy items." Vaggie was finally looking up. "And you think that is going to stop angels?"  

"Our Holy Anti-Angel Oil has a one hundred percent Extermination Survival Rate." Mimzy retorted.  

"I am pretty sure if it's actually holy it would... you know... burn Sinners?" Charlie was still struggling to stop Niffty from getting her hand on that knife Mimzy had now placed on the table behind her. "And do..." she looked over to Vaggie, "nothing to angels?"  

Vaggie nodded. 

"Oh phoo, you have no idea what you're talking about." Mimzy huffed putting the bottle back on her display.  

"And anyway, we have to do another activity! A real one this time." Charlie again looked to Vaggie who was already getting up and helping gather Mimzy's things for her.  

"But I wasn't done!" Mimzy huffed. 

"Yes, you were." Vaggie didn't seem to be particularly cautious as she tossed everything back in Mimzy's big, black bag.  

"No no no! The knives! Don't put those back yet!" Niffty flailed desperately to get her hands on the new blades.  

"Oi, what a shit show." Cherri had finally made it downstairs just in time to see things wrapping up. 

"Cherri! There you are! Just in-oof-" Charlie had nearly lost her grip on Niffty as Vaggie zipped up Mimzy's bag and dropped it back in her arms. "Just in time!" 

"Yeah, I was about to go out. Got a lead on some new turf that's about to become available." She tossed one of her token bombs up in the air.  

"Take that all upstairs." Vaggie nudged Mimzy toward the stairway. "Now. Then you had better come back down for activities. "  

"Okay. Well, that's one idea." Charlie finally put Niffty back down. For a moment she looked like she might chase after Mimzy, but then a roach caught her eye and she found she had better things to tend to. "But I thought today we might do our first big activity! Where's Angel?"  

"Sleeping." Cherri tilted her head in the direction of the stairs.  

"Well, he can join us after he's up!" 

"But what about my lead?" She looked rather annoyed at having been stopped at all. Alastor had to admire Charlie's perseverance.  Cherri had really only been staying here as a favor to Angel, that much had been clear at the party. And here was Charlie already pushing her limits.  

Today really was off to a delightful start.  

"You can go after our morning activity! I promise! But be warned, you might have so much fun you just forget about the whole thing!" Charlie grabbed her by the hand dragging her back to the center of the room. Cherri looked back at the bomb in her hand, heavily considering her options. Charlie seemed to realize she was already losing Cherri's interest because she added an awkward: "What do you say?" At the end.  

Cherri sighed, putting the bomb back up. "You got thirty minutes and then I got shit to do." She plopped on the couch, kicking her feet up.  

"Great! Thank you! We can wait for Mimzy to get back and then we can get started!" Charlie looked visibly relieved. She really was bad at wearing her emotions right on her face. It benefited Alastor, sure, but he had expected better from the Princess of Lies. (Then again, he had expected better from her father too; it was a family of let-downs. Though he wouldn't complain as this was all a benefit to him.) 

"That's gonna cut into your time." Cherri remarked, examining her nails as she sat, laid out on the couch.  

"Oh, I um..." Charlie was panicking a bit. "Okay well I am sure she will be back in just a second! But... um... Vaggie maybe go check on her real quick?" 

"On it." The fallen Exorcist (An Ex-exorcist?) bolted up the stairs in pursuit. Knowing Mimzy, this would not be a quick retrieval, and while that would be absolutely hilarious to watch- Alastor had more important things to do.  

"I do hope you enjoy your activities, ladies, but I am afraid I must be off~" He twirled his cane in his fingers, tapping it on the ground as he nodded to Charlie and Cherri- the last two remaining. Cherri sat up a bit. 

"How come he gets to leave?"  

"He's not a resident.  He works here." Charlie replied quickly. "He's the manager!" Alastor also knew that they were incapable of stopping him, even if they wanted. After all, Charlie still owed him. A favor from the Princess of Hell herself was not a commodity to waste.  

"Can I just work here then?" Cherri pouted.  

"Well... technically?" Charlie was clearly doing her best. Alastor was amused by how her stress seemed to only have grown with the addition of more Sinners. "But we aren't really hiring right now. And also, the staff are still asked to participate in Redemption activities..."  

"Except him?" Cherri pointed directly at Alastor who gave her his best, most charming smile.  

"..." Charlie bit her lip, looking to Alastor who just kept smiling back at her. If she wanted him to stay, she was going to have to actually ask. He saw her shoulders droop a little and she looked at the ground, then back at Cherri. "Except him." 

"I really must go, I'm afraid. I have quite a busy day planned!" He placed his hand to the side of his head and gave a small wave to Charlie and Cherri before turning on his heel and heading out the door. It closed behind him of its own accord. He took a deep breath, enjoying that fresh, smoldering, brimstone air. This was the sort of day that would send the Princess into some kind of over-the-top musical number, for sure. It was probably for the best he got out.  

He did, actually, have some plans today. The sooner he got started, the sooner he could return and see how this whole fiasco had progressed.  

With his package still secured tightly under his arm, he started out into the main part of the city. As soon as he was outside, he saw a very obvious drone, darting about. He chuckled to himself, giving the camera a playful wave before it exploded in the air. They were accursed things, really, and not just because Vox made them (though that certainly didn't help the situation.) Visual media lacked nuance and flair. It was stifling the modern imagination. (Vox was really just proof of how much visual media degraded things like attention span, creativity, and of course, intelligence.) Alastor couldn't stand it.  

His first stop was a store. Not a particularly popular one, but one he would visit when he needed supplies. It was a bit off the beaten path, not that he minded. There was nothing like a nice walk to really clear one's head. He could even enjoy some music from his staff, something upbeat to really set the mood.  

He dodged around the typical chaos in the streets. It wasn't hard to avoid as it was still early. Most of the most annoying Sinners were probably still sleeping off hangovers or pulling themselves back together after having been murdered.  It was one of the distinct benefits of being a Sinner. Though it could be both a curse and a gift, given that while you could always come back from being killed (so long as the weapon wasn't angelic) you still felt the pain. Of course, all these rules had little caveats that not many knew of, but Alastor was not one to reveal trade secrets. Especially when he was the one benefiting from them.  

He found the store in question and as soon as he walked in, he was greeted by the Sinner who owned it. "Alastor! We had everything you requested!" She was a tiny thing, only a bit taller than Niffty.  She looked a little like Alastor in color, the red and black hair, red eyes. But that was simply because Alastor was the one talking to her. Mimic- or Mimi, as Alastor liked to call her- took on the appearance of anyone she was currently speaking to. It made group conversations absolutely hilarious to watch as she would constantly shift back and forth as she tried to stay a part of the conversation. "I do hope it wasn't too inconvenient. I know you prefer delivery, but we got blown up last week and rebuilding has put us very behind!" Even her voice sounded like a more light, feminine version of his own.  

"I do appreciate the effort, my dear! " It was nice to be shown a bit of respect. Though she was absolutely right, he preferred delivery. Still, Alastor was nothing if not accommodating. At least- so long as it suited him to be- and Mimi had always been too terrified of what he could do to cause him any trouble. There was also the distinct fact that she wasn't particularly powerful, or important to the Infernal Hierarchy. Alastor enjoyed a challenge; it helped keep the mind sharp. And a challenge she was not.  

"Of course!" She hurried to grab some of the bags in the back. She handed them to Alastor who smiled a little wider as he took them in his arms, resting them on top of the package he was already holding. He peaked inside to see the contents. Everything was there. 

"This is just perfect! I know I can always count on you!" and with that he took his leave. He had what he needed. He would rather have dropped the package off first, but this was really on the way.  

Alastor exited the tiny store and dodged a foot that went flying in his general direction as a fight had broken out. It had nothing to do with him, and he had things to do, so he ignored it. He did see another drone up in the sky. He shook his head, rolling his eyes as he kept walking. The drone was trying to be subtle, but subtle it was not.  

With a sigh, Alastor turned back around, giving his best smile to the camera, before it exploded into pieces.  That should have been enough of a warning for Vox to find someone else to stalk- but knowing that ignoramus, it would only encourage him more. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario for Alastor. That was the nature of Hell, he supposed. Still, he had more important things to do than pay Vox the attention that he clearly craved.  

He reached his next destination.  The ever-unreliable postal service in Hell. It was run by Hellborns, and no one really understood why they had it since the odds of a package reaching its destination were entirely reliant on how much you were willing to spend. Still, it was a great way to send stuff you didn't want to deliver in person. Sometimes things were better as a surprise.  

He walked inside and immediately placed his package on the counter with a nice handful of cash. "I want to be absolutely certain this reaches its destination.  Am I clear?" The imp at the counter looked at the package, then the cash, then back at him. The imp's tail flicked.  

"Crystal."  

"Wonderful! And the quicker the better." 

"Yeah yeah," the imp looked down at the address, he looked back at Alastor. "You know this ain't far, right? Like you could deliver this yourself." 

"That would ruin the surprise, my good man!" of course he could deliver it himself.  Nothing in Pride ring was that far (especially when you could move beyond the confines of space through teleportation). But it also wasn't the point. It was a shame that nuance was so lost on most of Hell. There were so many opportunities that often went by without ever being capitalized upon because most Sinners and Hellborns lacked vision. It was one of the things Alastor appreciated about the Princess. She had that vision! Was it completely delusional and destined to fail? Yes! Absolutely! But it was still something.  

"Right." The imp looked back at the package then to Alastor once again. He seemed to have an idea because suddenly his expression changed, and he was grinning. "Riiiiiiiiight. I getchya."  

Alastor nodded back at him. "I assure you that you do not. But thank you anyway!" He picked his bags from Mimi back up and waved ado to the imp who was winking at him as if they were in on some sort of scheme together. Alastor didn't pay him any mind. Let the imp think whatever he wanted, as long as the package made it to its destination.   

As soon as he was outside there was another drone. Alastor, let out a heavy sigh, though the smile remained plastered on his face. (It wasn't like he had any choice in that regard.) "You're really starting to get on my nerves Vox."  

"Look who it is!" He could hear the voice clear as day despite it coming from a speaker.  There was no way the flat-faced buffoon would be willing to confront him head on. He was stupid-but not that stupid. Vox still remembered what happened last time and the Radio Demon knew that tawdry, tedious, technological terror was still too shaken to repeat the past. "You look like shit!" 

"Must be the quality of those God forsaken cameras then, because I feel incredible." Alastor smirked, shifting his bags into one arm so he could twirl his cane in the other. "Not surprising given who made them."  

"These drones are the height of technology" He must have hit a nerve as Vox's voice shifted, becoming more synthetic as his anger rose. Alastor didn't even need to see him to know the other Overlord was seething from the comfort of his tacky studio. "Not that you would know, you out-of-date fuckwad. They caught the whole God damn fight! I got you getting the ever-loving shit kicked out of you on video!"  

"Ah yes, you did so much during the fight, I can absolutely see the leg you have to stand on here." Alastor looked directly into the lens, tapping the top of the drone. "This blasted thing does pick up sarcasm, doesn't it?"  

"I wasn't about to face down with fucking angels because I am not dumb enough to piss them off!”  

"And you would also have lost.  You mock me, but I lasted easily two times as long as you would have. That Adam simply... lucked out."  

"I w-w-would h-h-have f-fucking o-o-obliterated the- the- the-"  

"Buffering again, Vox?"  

"The-the-" 

"You really need to work on improving your signal." And with that, Alastor patted the drone on the top again with his cane, only this time it burst apart. 

Finally, some peace and quiet.... well... mostly. 

At least, as quiet as things could be on the streets of Hell, given the situation.  

Though Vox had Alastor thinking back on that fight. Everything should have gone differently.  Angelic weapons or not- Adam's weapon was not supposed to have been able to break the microphone- even just the base of it. Either Alastor had to take up the issue of false advertising with his patron, or there was something else at play. Perhaps it would be worth a conversation- Alastor's patron had, in fact, been quite chatty since the fight which was... irritating. Hence why Alastor was happy to finally be out and about, away from all of that. If she needed to talk to him, she could wait. 

Another quick stop- this one the easiest of them all. He went inside the store browsing the wares with mild interest. He only had a need for some of the items. Luckily, they were easy to find. Soon he was carrying even more bags than before. At least the package had been dealt with.  

And look at the time! He definitely could spend the rest of the afternoon doing something a little less... dull. Just as planned! 

He hummed a happy tune as he continued his walk. Soon the war-torn, scorched, or heavily reinforced buildings were replaced with perfectly pristine little store fronts and houses. The chaos and screams replaced with catchy, upbeat music. The array of diverse Sinners and Hellborns replaced with the gray skin, sharp teeth, and empty void-black eyes of the residents of Cannibal Town.  

Alastor instantly felt at ease. The quaint charm of the town never failed to win him over.  All the irritation from Vox melted away as he was greeted with the wide smiles and friendly waves of the Cannibals. He waved back, chuckling to himself, this place truly had its own, unique charm. No one could ignore it, even the Princess had admitted how jarringly pleasant Cannibal Town was when compared to the rest of her beloved Hell.  

With his bags in hand he approached The Emporium, Franklin's name once artfully crossed out with what was probably paint, now gone all together. The new sign was nice, the only name on it was the only one Alastor wanted to see, especially today. It was never a bad time to visit an old friend- Charlie would certainly agree if she were here.   

He opened the doors to the sound of a jingling bell. There were some Cannibals shuffling about the store, one in talks with the woman he had come to see, but of course, the moment she noticed him, that conversation ceased and the tall, Cannibal woman was on her feet at once, almost floating toward him with how gracefully she walked. 

"Alastor! Twice in so many days! Am I a lucky gal or what!?" She clapped her hands together in excitement   

"Rosie! Good to see you old friend! Love the new sign!"  

"Cute right? You here because ya need a bunch just of us to charge into Heaven this time?"  

Alastor laughed. "No no! No favors! Just a friendly visit!"  

"You know I always have time to chat!" Rosie gestured for him to follow her. The other cannibals had stopped talking the moment Rosie had taken notice of Alastor. They stepped to the side, letting her have her conversation, watching, smiles plastered on their faces.  

"I do have one favor, Rosie, dear!" He stepped past the other Cannibals toward the woman with the white curls. 

"Oh you! I knew there was a catch!"  

"Nothing serious! Just have some perishables in this bag. Would you mind keeping them on ice while we catch up?" The blood from one of the bags was starting to drip into his hand and he really didn't want to make a mess. 

"Is that all? Of course, of course! I, if anyone, understand the need to preserve good meat!" She took the bag from him, placing it in a little cooler behind her counter. She wiped the blood from her hands with a little, purple, laced handkerchief.  "You want any Exorcist while you're here? We have quite a bit!"  

"Hmm, tempting! I may pick some up before I leave. But for now, just some tea would be lovely."  

"Absolutely!" Rosie led him to her back room. There was a cute little table already set for two. With a snap of her fingers a teapot appeared, pouring itself into both glasses as Rosie had a seat. Alastor took the chair across from her. "I already had your favorite brewing in the back!" 

"You knew I was coming?"  

"I suspected as much!" She laughed, taking a sip from her cup. "Though," she lowered it for a moment, meeting his gaze. "Should I have set out three?" 

"Nonsense Rosie! Two is plenty! Three's a crowd! I don't want our chat to be weighed down by uninvited guests! Do you?"  

"You have a point! When was our last little gabbing session!?" She chuckled; the teacup clinked on its saucer. "You know, I was worried about you after that whole fiasco with that delectable morsel you were fighting. That was certainly a turn of events."  

"It wasn't exactly my favorite moment."  

"Looks like you're all fixed up now!" 

"It was a process, but yes I was."  

"It's always a process, but it's worth it in the end." Her eyes closed; her smile was serene as she took another sip. Alastor drank from his own cup, the warm liquid flowing between the smiling lips. He was watching her carefully trying to get a read on her reaction. Rosie was his ally, maybe even a friend, as much as Alastor had them, but even she had her own unique interests at heart.  

"At least it's over for now. It was rather tedious, overall. I hope all the Exorcist meat was worth it."  

"It is divine!" They both chuckled at her little pun. "But this is only the beginning. There is so, so much more to come."  

"I too doubt Heaven is going to enjoy the report from the Exorcists. It seems everyone is getting prepared. Still, that whole nightmare is behind us for now. Let's talk about something more cheerful!" He had come here to relax, after all.... among other reasons.  

"The only thing I'm preparing is my new line of fashion with feathers from Exorcist wings! I think it'll be very popular." Rosie did change the subject. "Velvette already mentioned wanting her first pick of the pieces. Though if you're interested, you know the real first pick is yours!"  

"I just might take you up on that! You know I love anything from the Emporium! You'll have to give dear Velvette my regards if she visits to pick one up." 

"Oh of course! You know Vox will love that!" They both laughed again, Alastor took another deep gulp of the tea.  

"He was using those blasted creations of his to follow me all over, today."   

"Oh how annoying." She made a face of disgust. "You should have come straight here! You know I don't like his things in my town!"  

"I would have come much sooner, but alas, I had other things to do before I stopped by." He let out a forlorn sigh before taking another sip. "Nothing as fun and interesting as a visit to you, I promise!" 

"Of course! Nothing is as fun and interesting as me!" She let out a content little sigh. "It's good to see ya Alastor. Seven years you were gone and then all this chaos... it feels like we never get a chance to chat anymore."  

"My apologies, Rosie, I have been busy, as you well know." She was about the only person who did know. Alastor was the type to play things close to the chest and even Rosie didn't have complete knowledge of his plans and desires. But she knew more than most.  After all, she had been an integral part of his power climb when he had first arrived in Hell.  

"I know I know, but I am just tickled pink that ya found the time to visit. And I assume Miss Princess is doing a-okay?"  

"Doing just swell! In fact, the hotel has been rebuilt, and it's got two new members. One of whom is Mimzy, if you'll believe it."  

Rosie made a choking sound as she almost spit the tea in her mouth back out. She looked over at Alastor, raising an eyebrow.  "Really?" That was about the reaction he was expecting.  

"Apparently." 

"Huh."  

"That aside, I think some new smiling faces around the building is just the right thing to lift our Princess's spirit!"  

"I am glad to hear she still had that moxie I loved so much. It could be inspiring if she lived anywhere but here. It was certainly quite a fight she led us into. Lost a few of my people, real tragedy. But we'll recover."  

"I would expect nothing less." Alastor had more he wanted to discuss, but now wasn't the time. They both knew it. So, he simply finished his tea, placing the cup back down on the saucer. "Well, I best be off Rosie, my dear! Do keep your schedule open so that we can talk again!"  

"For you? I always have time."  

"You are a doll." He used his cane to get to his feet. "And the tea was delicious!"  

"Any time! Did you still want me to package you up some fresh Exorcist?" They were exchanging superficial pleasantries, smiles unwavering.  Alastor was a little annoyed they couldn't have the conversation he had wanted. But there was time- infinite time so long as Rosie didn't get herself Exterminated or something similar. (Alastor knew that he was far less likely to be felled. Call it ego, call it confidence- the fight with Adam had been a fluke. If he had been left fully to his own devices- oh how things would have been different.)  

"Hmmm, the meat is tempting. But I will take a rain check. Though do let me know if you need any help! I am always willing to lend a hand!"  

"Oh, I know you are," Rosie chuckled, "for a price."  

"For a price indeed." He gave a small, flourished bow.  "Till next time!"  

"Till next time!" She was still sitting, smile unwavering as she watched him leave, her cup in her hands.  

Alastor gathered his things from the cooler and left the Emporium. He could see the black eyes of the Cannibals, watching him for only a moment before they all went back to their day. Things really did feel better in Cannibal Town, it just had an air of civility that most of Hell lacked. Alastor gave a friendly wave which was returned as he made his way to the threshold.  The smell of clean, fresh meat was replaced by the sour odor of brimstone as he made his way back into Hell proper. He finally came to a stop. 

"How much longer are you planning on following me? I will give you points for persistence.  Even Vox gave up over an hour ago." He didn't turn around; he didn't really have to. He knew the man was there- he'd been there since Alastor left the hotel. But he had hoped that if he ignored him long enough, he would eventually get whatever he wanted and just leave on his own. And yet... "You can keep hiding if you want, but it's pointless.  You're not as subtle as you think."  

"What the fuck are you up to?" There he was, finally out of the shadows. Alastor smirked as he glanced over his shoulder at the petite form of the Devil himself, oversized hat and all, glaring up at him.  

"Errands, mostly.  I know, diabolical! Do try not to faint at the abject horror to which I have exposed you." As he spoke, he slowly turned to face Lucifer, arms still full from his earlier tasks. 

"Don't fucking toy with me. What kind of errands!? Who are you working for!? What's in that bag!?" Lucifer's cane tapped the bag that was dripping blood on his hand.  

"Groceries."  

"Yeah sure. I really believe you're not full of shit right now, you-" as he was ranting, Alastor shifted the packages so he could hand the bag in question over to his stalker. Lucifer blinked. He opened the bag, looking in. He reached in pulling out one of the many steaks inside. "Is this human?" 

"Charlie doesn't care for human meat. So, no. But if you really want to try it, you're welcome to."  

Lucifer sniffed at the meat; Alastor had no idea if one of the Devil's many powers included the art of meat identification- but he wasn't lying at this point in time- so he didn't really care. "Yeah okay.  Fine." He dropped the slab back into the bag. "So, all of these bags are groceries?"  

"Most of them."  

"Bullshit."  

Alastor sighed, placing all the bags on the ground so Lucifer could reach them. "Have at it." He gestured at the various bags. Lucifer immediately began pawing through them finding all sorts of horrible, incriminating items such as: food, snacks, beverages, and cleaning supplies (Niffty had her very particular brand she liked). 

"What about the other store?" Lucifer had finally found the bags from Mimi's little shop. She had sealed them mostly shut for easy transport, but ease be damned, as Lucifer's little tantrum clearly took priority.  So, Alastor got to watch him rip them open, reaching inside. 

"You caught me. I know how dangerous the stuff is, but I just can't help myself." Alastor put a hand to his chest, feigning a look of shame. Lucifer's expression was priceless.  He looked confused at first, then slowly his eyes narrowed, and his head carefully turned to look at Alastor directly.  

"The fuck is this?" 

"Yarn."  

"Why do you have this!? Is it made of like human hair?"  

"Really? Because I'm a Cannibal everything I do has to be cannibal related?" Alastor's smile was more bemused than anything else, as he raised an eyebrow at the speechless Devil. "It's angora, a little more expensive, I know. But sometimes it's nice to splurge on things you like."  

"But... why?"  

"Because some of us have hobbies other than neglecting our children."  

"Okay listen here you sack of dicks-"  

"Is this going to take much longer? Because I have to get back to dear Charlie at our Hotel."  

"You think you're pretty God damn slick, huh? Well, you're not." Lucifer dropped the yarn back in the bag. "You got rid of the evidence! BUT I saw you do it."  

"You did, huh?" Alastor put one hand on his hip and leaned his weight onto his cane. He watched as a second Lucifer appeared with Alastor's package over his head, jostling it about like it was some sort of cheap prize he had to shake free. "You know tampering with the mail is a crime, right?"  

"I'm the king of Hell and I can do what I want." Lucifer took the package from the Clone, and it simply popped out if existence once the task was complete. "And I want to stop you from getting this contraband to your cohort." He showed the box to Alastor as if he hadn't been the one sending it out to begin with. "Why mail something to Rosie when you just saw her, hm?"  

"Call me old fashion, but sometimes people like to get things in the mail. It's like a little surprise."  

"That's a fucking load and you know it. Hell Mail doesn't reach its destination... like... ever." He began to rip into the packaging like a wild animal. 

"That's why I paid extra. You are going to pay to have this sent again, right? It was quite pricy; I'll have you know."  

"I am not going to send your evil-" he cut off as he reached into the shredded package and pulled out a: "... sweater?"  

"Thank the Heavens, you stopped me before I started the matching scarf and hat, or the entire hierarchy of Hell might just crumble under the weight of such unadulterated malice." Alastor pretended to swoon, spinning around his on his heels, using his cane for leverage.  

"Why was there a fucking sweater in the box!?" 

"Because, my good man, it was a gift for Rosie. She did just put her life and the lives of her people on the line to save your daughter. I thought it might be a nice gesture."  

"There has to be more to it than that."  

"If you can find a way to make a hand-made sweater part of a big conspiracy, then hats off to you. Though you are the devil. Surely if anyone can, it's you."  

"Don't fucking patronize me." 

"Don't fucking follow me." Alastor smiled wider, crossing his arms, leaning forward and resting them on his cane so he could be more at eye level with Lucifer. "I'll admit, I am flattered. Being stalked by the King himself, it's a definite upgrade from the usual desperate assholes craving my attention."  

"This is serious." The moment the words left his mouth, the devil seemed to regret them. Alastor leaned in a little closer.  

"Is it?" He thought his smile might just split his face in two with how wide it felt. "Do tell."  

"Fuck you!" And with that the Devil vanished, leaving a mess of Alastor's things in his wake. 

"You're going to pay for that package!" Alastor had every reason to believe that Lucifer could still hear him. After all, he had spent an entire day eavesdropping on Alastor's private conversations, why would he stop now?  

Sure enough, a portal opened up and an arm threw a wad of money in his direction before flipping him the middle finger and vanishing again.  

"Thank you!"  

He counted the money, more than enough for him to resend the package.  That was good, he really did want it to get to Rosie.  Of course this was all incredibly inconvenient, but... it was also interesting. Lucifer was certainly acting all out of sorts. Whatever had gotten into him could be something quite worth Alastor's while. If nothing else, watching another breakdown like that would be entertaining at the very least.   

See? 

He had been right  

Today was a good day after all. 

Chapter Text

Lucifer rematerialized on the steps of his mansion, his horns visible on his head, his tail swishing back and forth aggressively. He held his hand out and the doors flew open with such force the bang echoed through the empty halls.

"Syn!" His voice bellowed, sparks of flame emitting between his clenched teeth. All six wings fluttered before finally retracting into his back. "SYN!"

"Master! You have returned!" She always sounded so excited to see him. The oblong little cylinder zipped down the hallway and flew smack into his face. The flames in his mouth died down to a puff of smoke that simply wafted around the overly excited assistant. He could feel the steady beating of her tiny, translucent wings against his face. He grabbed the little cylinder from behind and pulled her back. Way to kill a mood, Syn.

"Yes, I have returned." He cleared his throat, the horns slowly receding back into his skull. He stood up straighter, hands both on his staff as he tried to look professional.

"I missed you!"

"I am sure you did."

"Did you successfully catch:" her voice shifted into Lucifer's, "that scraggly, deer-face, mother fucking sunnovabitch?" Ah yes, Lucifer had raved about that on his way out. Syn was a surprisingly good listener.

"Yes, of course I did!" He was lying to Syn now. He had sunk this low, apparently. That was certainly a revelation. "But I let him go for now, to think about what he's done. Charlie would get sad if I killed him."

"We do not want Charlie to be sad!"

"Correct."

"You are so powerful and merciful!" At least someone thought Lucifer was doing a good job. And yet, all this enthusiasm was only making him feel worse. He had spent an entire afternoon following Alastor around only to have been played like a fucking fool. He was too frustrated to keep at it (Plus Lucifer didn't like to spy while he was in the hotel. Charlie wouldn't exactly approve.) And if Alastor knew he was being followed, it was a waste. Lucifer would have to wait, catch him off guard. He could use the time to practice the art of stalking his prey- clearly, he was out of practice if he had been caught so easily.

"Yep... I sure am." He sighed. It was back to the drawing board. He had already wasted enough time on this dead end. (Plus, he had the unfortunate bonus of having had to go to Cannibal Town. That place always left him feeling queasy. The less time he had to spend around Rosie and her little cannibals, the better.) "What's on my schedule for the rest of the day, Syn?"

"There is that meeting you have been making me reschedule. You also have a 6:00 PM cry and an 8:30 PM self-pity wallow."

"I told you. We do not schedule crying, wallowing, grieving, despairing-"

"Tragic reminiscence?"

"Nope. None of it. That being said, cancel that meeting and extend the wallow for an extra two hours."

"Ah yes sir. Of course. But I, again, am told to remind you that this is very important."

"Is it with Heaven?"

"No sir."

"Good. Fuck those guys. But also, that means it's not that important, and I need this, Syn. You know how much I need my me time."

"Your cry time?"

"It's called: self-care. And you want me to have self-care, don't you?"

"Y-yes?" Her little lights slowed down to show she was confused, processing the information she was given.

"Good." His formal coat flew off his arms and hung itself on the coat rack, leaving him in his collared, button-down shirt and pink striped vest. The hat flew off as well to join it. A plush white bathrobe flew from another room to situate itself on his arms followed by a glass of wine. "Syn, draw a bath for me. I am taking the rest of the night off."

"I do not have arms."

"Just move the faucet with your face or something. You're creative, you'll figure something out."

"I will do my best!"

"I know you will."

Knock knock knock.

Lucifer had just been taking a sip of the wine when a sudden, jarring sound reached his ear. He winced, almost spitting it back out.

"Someone is at the door."

"Thank you, Syn, I fucking noticed that."

They stared at each other (as much as Syn could stare given she didn't have a face) in silence. Neither of them moved.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

The knocking was louder this time.

"I think they want to get in."

"Yes Syn, that's how knocking works."

"Do we let them in?"

"No." He wasn't expecting anyone, and he had already had a shitty enough day without being bothered. "Security will take care of it."

BAM BAM BAM

"I think he is on break right now."

"Why would he be on break right now? I am here, in the mansion. I need securing!" He really didn't. Lucifer knew he was stronger than whatever pitiful soul was crawling to his doorstep. But that wasn't the point. The point was that he really didn't want to do it, and therefore shouldn't have to.

BOOM!

The doors flew open, and Lucifer's robe and wine glass vanished as he turned to face the intruder. He instantly went from on guard to vaguely annoyed as he saw the man before him.

"What up fucker!? Long time no see!" Gray skin of stone, cracking where one of the eyes should have been. The only eye on the Sinner's face was a vacant socket occupied only by a glowing green orb that operated as his pupil. Small stone horns peaked out through a full head of grayish, brown hair, reaching to the man's shoulders. His smile was filled with sharp fangs as he flipped the collar of the spiked leather jacket, walking in with a swagger like he owned the place. Lucifer let out an irritated sigh.

"What do you want, Cain?"

"Greetings Cain!"

"Sup, Syn?" The Sinner gave little finger guns in the direction of Lucifer's employee.

"No don't 'greetings Cain' him. He came in uninvited. Unless he was that fucking meeting..." he paused looking over at Cain. "Are you my 11:00?"

"I never make a meeting. I just come when I want."

"Ah. Right." That was true. Cain had been the very first Sinner in Hell (aside from Lillith, technically) and he and Lillith hadn't really gotten the whole Hell thing down just yet. So, Cain was just sort of allowed to roam free. It also didn't help that Cain's knowledge of farming had actually been immensely useful. Despite being a Sinner and thus being bound to the Pride Ring- Cain was able to help spread knowledge to Wrath Ring that was instrumental to the farming community. "Syn, tell Cain I am not in the mood for visitors and escort him out."

"The master is not in the mood for visitors."

"Thanks, I can hear him- wh... what are you doing?" Cain sounded more confused than anything else as Syn began to fly into his face over and over again.

"I am making you leave."

"Right." He grabbed her by the little cylinder and simply held on as she fluttered her tiny wings in vain. "This is kinda sad, dude. Like I know you've been a fucking wreck since Lillith... but like... this is just giving me depression at this point."

"What do you want, Cain?" The wine rematerialized in his grip, and he took a sip. "I am busy."

"Yeah, I just saw you murder my dad the other night on live TV."

Lucifer spit his wine back into the cup, coughing. Right. Adam was Cain's father. Shit. "Well, actually, the maid stabbed your dad. I just laid the groundwork..." he emptied the wine and it refilled itself as he took a nervous sip, looking at Cain, trying to get a read on his expression. "... if it helps..."

"I mean, I guess. I haven't actually seen him since he died." He was uncharacteristically quiet. "I didn't realize it was him, ya know? Like... damn. I know you really fucked him and mom over but like... I'm still here. Thought that might give him some kinda pause-"

"Listen, he never killed you in particular, right?" Lucifer interrupted.

"Did you just ask me if I was killed in an Extermination?"

"Yeah okay. Stupid question. Fuck."

"I mean yeah, kinda."

"Shit. Fuck. It's been a long day, man."

"Is something..." Cain was looking him up and down, sizing him up. "Wrong?" Lucifer took a deep breath, weighing his options. He already let something slip to Alastor- at least he knew Cain. He knew what the extent of Cain's abilities were; and thusly could easily rule him out as a suspect in this... chaos. Cain was an Overlord, a powerful one- but none of this really fit his earthy motif.

"Kinda."

"Something I need to be concerned about? Or just more of the usual?"

"I don't... know yet."

"Master defeated the threat!" Syn was still fluttering in Cain's grip. "It was a deer." Lucifer quickly cleared his throat.

"It wasn't a deer, Syn. It was The Radio Demon."

"Who?"

"Alastor."

"Should I know who that is?"

"He is a sunnovabitch!"

"That really doesn't narrow it down." Cain patted Syn on the top of her cylinder with his free hand. "But thank you."

"You could let her go, you know, you'll damage her wings if you manhandled her like that." He didn't want to have to fix up Syn on top of all the other things on his busy schedule. Cain's unexpected visit was already cutting into his prime wallowing time (or rather, self-care).

"Yeah sure." He released his grip and Syn fluttered happily back to Lucifer's side. "I don't know my own strength sometimes. It's why they didn't let me into Heaven, I was too tough to handle."

"Is that true?"

"Of course. I was too fucking awesome for Heaven. So, I was sent to Hell." Cain winked at Syn, pointing finger guns in her direction again. Lucifer frowned.

"Don't teach her that, Cain. What the fuck?" Syn was too young to know the difference between the truth and Cain's constant spew of bullshit. "You were barred from Heaven because you murdered your little brother in cold blood." Lucifer understood the need for the ego trip, but he was also annoyed.

"Can you blame me though? I mean, you, if anyone, should get me when it comes to murdering your-"

"Cain, can we focus? Please? For once?" Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes. "You're an Overlord, you should have information for me on Alastor."

"Who?"

"CAIN!" Lucifer was more than ready to just throw him out of the window. "The fucking radio demon! We were JUST talking about him!"

"He's an Overlord?"

"YES! For the love of all that is unholy do you NOT know the other Overlords!?"

"I do!" Cain looked slightly offended by the accusation. "I just don't hang out in the little Overlord Club where they do meetings and shit because it's boring as fuck, and also it kinda puts a target on your head. You know a bunch of Overlords got fucked over real bad one time by this one radio themed motherfu- ahhhhhh," Lucifer could almost see him putting it together in real time, "that's who you're talking about."

Fucking finally. Cain had arrived at the very obvious conclusion. "Yes. That's who I'm talking about, dumbass."

"Oh, I don't know his name. I only bother to remember the names of the hot Overlords. There's: Bitchy Ballerina, Moth man, Flat Face, Velvette, Smiley Deer Man, Madam Chompers, Raver Chick, and Zestiel."

"Zestiel... really you remember his name." Lucifer looked at Syn who he liked to assume was looking back at him with the same incredulous feelings.

"I know what I like." Cain shrugged. "So, what did Mr. Smiles do to get defeated by you anyway? I thought he was helping murder my father with Charlie and friends, last I saw him."

"Yes, that's true, but," Lucifer looked into his wine glass for a moment in silence, "things have been kind of... weird since the fight."

"Weird how?" Cain looked at the glass as well. "You really going to hold out on me? It's polite to offer your guest something to drink."

"You're not a guest. Guests are invited. You're an intruder I'm tolerating." Lucifer sighed and snapped his fingers and a second glass appeared in Cain's hand. The Sinner seemed content with this.

"Thank you. Continue."

"After the fight I noticed something... off. I was at my daughter's hotel- I am sure you've seen the commercial-" Lucifer was proud of Charlie and all her hard work, so he wasn't about to miss an opportunity to brag. Cain, however, just sort of shrugged the comment off, making the devil frown. "It's about redemption? I feel like you should look into it."

"And end up having to hang with Abel for all of eternity? No thanks." Cain took a rather aggressive swig of the wine.

"Anyway," one of the many innate powers that came with being the devil allowed for Lucifer to see through that stony exterior to see he had hit a nerve, so he dropped it. He would much rather be pouring his concerns out to Lillith, sitting together, drinking wine, discussing what could possibly be causing him distress- but that wasn't an option anymore, and somehow, in his desperation, he had decided to vent to fucking Cain (whose father he had just helped murder. And all above be damned, Lucifer swore when he fell from the Heavens, he could fall no lower, but this wouldn't be the first time he was wrong about something.) "It's not super important, it's just... somethings are off and that's weird."

"But why do you think Monocle Mcgee is behind it?"

"He's up to something."

"Everyone in Hell is up to something. That's not a big fucking surprise." Cain was so dismissive of Lucifer's concern, it was frustrating.

"Are you up to something?" Syn was learning from this conversation and Lucifer already regretted it. He really shouldn't let her interact with Sinners. They would teach her bad habits.

"Constantly." Cain smirked.

"Then I must stop you!"

"Syn, leave him alone." Lucifer sighed as she was once again flying into Cain's head over and over again as he batted at her, spilling wine all over Lucifer's floor. He waved his finger and Syn was teleported back to his side. "Stay." He sighed looking back at Cain. "You don't understand, this is... different. It feels like something is... off and I can't put my finger on it. The Infernal Eye glitched... it doesn't do that."

"That creepy orb thing? It's old, right? Maybe that's why?" Cain looked a bit dismayed at all the wine he had lost as he swatted at Syn. "Refill?"

"I don't take orders from you." Lucifer scoffed at the cup as Cain held it forward. "And age doesn't matter. I made things that have lasted longer than you've been alive, and they all work just fine. This shouldn't happen." He moved his hand, making the wine stains on the floor vanish.

Or, well... that was his intent.

Instead, the stains vanished for only a few seconds before reappearing completely reversed. Lucifer and Cain both stared for a moment at the re-stained floor before looking at each other in silence.

"What the fuck was that?" Cain did seem to be taking him a bit more seriously now. So at least that was a thing.

"..." On the one hand, Lucifer didn't want to admit that whatever had just happened really shouldn't have been possible. He was magic after all. He didn't make mistakes with simple spells; it was literally second nature to him. But on the other hand, it seemed that he had just flubbed up a simple cleaning spell and Cain wasn't the brightest soul in Hell, but he wasn't stupid. Egotistical and easily distracted? Yes. But he wasn't dumb. Lucifer waved his hand again, and this time the stains did vanish. But Cain was now staring at him. "What?"

"You really think that red-suited, bowtie wearing bitch can do all this?"

"Well ... no..." Cain had a point. Lucifer highly doubted Alastor was that strong. If he was, he wouldn't be hanging around the hotel. It was logical to assume the demon's motivations weren't altruistic, after all- but he wouldn't need Charlie if he could do something this large scale on his own. "But if not him, then who?"

"This shit is too hard core to be Sinner related. You should just throw that thought right the fuck out and just focus on the obvious answer. It's Heaven."

"Heaven." Lucifer repeated giving him a blank look.

"I mean, no shit Sherlock." It was mildly amusing that, despite his age, Cain seemed up to date on all the current slang. That was more than Lucifer could say for other Sinners. "I mean they seem to be on a pretty fucked up little kick recently. They sent my own father to Exterminate me and my fucking people. That's God damn demented is what it is. Like when they tried that shit with Abraham, they were all like: oh fuck! Jk jk, didn't think you'd actually do it. But this? This is some Jobe level fuckery right here. This is Heaven getting all pissed off that you kicked their asses so now they're gonna play dirty because they fucking suck."

"..." Lucifer was quiet for a moment as he considered Cain's proposal (or rather, rant, as the case seemed to be.) "You have a point."

"I have a series of fucking points, thank you very much. I say, use the good ol' Heaven Phone, call up those bitches upstairs, and give 'em a real piece of your mind!" Cain had only had one glass of wine, most of which he spilled, so Lucifer doubted he was drunk (unless he was already tipsy before he had come over, which wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility), so all this boisterous excitement had to be genuine. It was, admittedly, a little infectious.

"Heaven Phone?"

Ah, right, Syn was here. "It's this old phone I used to have that went directly to Heaven."

"You got rid of it? But we used to have so much fun crank calling them." Cain looked disappointed. It was true, he, Cain, and Lillith used to enjoy wasting Heaven's time with it in the early days. But over time the item had just become associated with the worst events to befall Hell. Why even bother having a way to communicate if you were just going to bully your way through?

"No no, I mean I still have it- it's just now Heaven only uses it when they want to fuck me over."

"All the more reason that Heaven is behind all this bullshit!"

"Okay, okay, I hear you." Lucifer sipped his wine, deep in thought. Cain was making sense, which wasn't a common occurrence, so he had to be cautious.

"Incoming call!" Syn's lights began to flash more brightly, and she started invading Lucifer's personal space, bumping against his cheek. He was almost glad Syn was connected to his phone because it was still on silent from his information gathering session on Alastor. That did remind him to flip the ringer back on, just in case Charlie ever needed anything. As he pulled it out, the name surprised him.

"Carmilla," he answered it, putting the phone to his ear and turning away from Cain. "This is unexpected."

"You answering is also unexpected, but pleasantly so." She sounded a little tired, which wasn't anything new. Lucifer had a feeling the current events would have her full attention. There were very few of the current Overlords with his personal contact information, and even fewer for whom he would answer the phone. But she was a unique exception. "I have been wanting to speak with you."

"Wait... you're not my 11:00 appointment, are you?"

"I don't make appointments with you; you so very rarely keep them." He could hear the frustration in her voice. Meetings were really more Lillith's thing. She was much more involved with the Overlords than he was. In fact, it had been quite some time since he and Carmilla had actually spoken.

"Did you need something?" He doubted Carmilla had called simply to complain about his lack of involvement. That wasn't her style. That might be something Vox would do- but Vox didn't have his number. (At least... he shouldn't.)

"It's been so long since we've talked. I just wanted to see how you were." Her voice was calm, almost completely devoid of emotion. Lucifer knew she wanted to discuss something important. No one could guarantee the phone lines would be private. "Is now a bad time?" Lucifer looked around at the messy hallway, ducks and discarded clothing articles on the floor. He didn't need Carmilla to see this.

"I can meet you at your place "

"Very well. See you soon." And with that she hung up.

"Who was that?" Cain looked curiously over as Lucifer put his phone back in his pocket.

"Carmilla."

"Who?"

Lucifer took a deep breath, debating if it was worth his time to go off on Cain or to simply just go along with his antics. Eventually he decided he didn't have the energy for the fight Cain so clearly craved. "Bitchy Ballerina."

"Oh fuck. What'd she want?"

"I'm going to pay her a visit."

"Can I go?"

"No. I think she wants this to be private."

"Cool, I'll go along for moral support."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. Fuck it. Cain knew this much. "Whatever." He looked over to Syn who was fluttering far closer to his ear than he really wanted. "Page the security intern, let him know I'm leaving. Unless he's still on break."

"One moment please."

It wasn't more than two minutes before the intern slid into the room with Lucifer, Cain, and Syn. "I am here sir!"

"Where have you been? I needed you for the intruder like... an hour ago." Lucifer folded his arms over his chest, the robe and wineglass vanished as his coat and hat flew from the rack and back to him as he readied himself to go back out. (His wallow was really getting pushed back on the schedule.)

"Intruder?" Lysander looked puzzled. Lucifer gestured to Cain who was already on his phone, seemingly just scrolling mindlessly. "Oh, hi Cain!" He gave a wave. Cain didn't even look up.

"Sup?"

"Don't 'Hi Cain' him. He was an intruder. He came over, unannounced, and interrupted my nightly plans." Lucifer couldn't believe he was having to go over this with the Hellborn.

"But that's Cain, he always comes over unannounced."

"It's true, I do." Cain grinned a bit, sharp fangs catching the light.

"Exactly. That's why you're supposed to stop him. Isn't that security's job?" Lucifer tapped his finger impatiently. Lysander looked completely unphased by his obvious irritation. He simply shrugged.

"How should I know? I'm just an intern. You're supposed to teach me that stuff."

"It should be intuitive!" Lucifer took a deep breath. Nope. This wasn't worth the fight. He had to see Carmilla. "Keep an eye on the house while I'm gone. No one gets in. You hear me? No one. I don't care who it is!"

"What about Charlie?" Lysander asked uncertainly.

" Not sure why she would come. But no. Not even Charlie." Lucifer adjusted his hat. He didn't need Charlie to see the house in such disarray (and it was way too early to introduce her to Syn, Syn wasn't ready for that sort of interaction). "Any more questions?"

"Nope." Lysander gave him a little bow. He may not have been the brightest Hellborn, but at least he was somewhat respectful. Which was more than Lucifer could say for most.

"Negative!" Syn flew to hover by Lysander's head, resting on top of one of his horns.

"Good. Syn, you're in charge."

"Hurray!" Syn gave a happy cheer at the same time Lysander groaned:

"Awe man, for real?"

"Syn actually does her job." Lucifer's cane flew into his hand, and he turned on his heel to exit outside. Cain was quick to follow behind as they headed toward Carmilla's domain. (Cain probably knew Lucifer would absolutely leave him behind if given the opportunity, so he was right beside the Devil, easily keeping pace. Sure, Lucifer could fly and ditch him, but the fallout wouldn't be worth it.)

"I wonder why she wants to chat with you of all people." Cain had his hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket as they walked. Having the two of them together in public could possibly create a stir if anyone cared enough to take note. Realizing this he quickly shifted into a snake, slithering his way across Cain's shoulders, weaving through the spikes on his jacket, slithering up the back of his neck so he could rest his head in between Cain's horns. "Ah!" Cain immediately tried to swat him off.

"Oh, calm down; you're fine." Lucifer smirked as best as he could with his serpentine mouth, his tongue flicking from between his teeth as he played the part of a snake.

"The fuck, dude!? Get off! You got legs! Use them!"

"Not right now I don't~" Lucifer artfully dodged Cain's swipes, causing the Sinner to smack himself in the head. "And I thought you were coming as my support?"

"I said moral support!" Cain once again failed to get a grip on the slithering serpent. "Not whatever this shit is!"

"If people saw us walking together, they might think there's something important going on, especially if we head to Carmilla-" Lucifer gave Cain a look as the Sinner opened his mouth- "if you are about to ask me who one more fucking time I will turn into a whale right now a literally crush you." Cain shut his mouth. "That's what I fucking thought." Lucifer's snake form looked surprisingly self-satisfied given the distinct lack of ability to properly emote with a snake's face. "As I was saying," he plopped his head back on top of Cain's, "if it's just you, no one will give a shit."

"People give a shit about me." Cain grumbled, though he had stopped trying to swat Lucifer away. Perhaps he had finally gotten tired of failing. "Plus, I don't really hang out with snakes. Won't that be weird to see?"

"Why?" Lucifer slithered into his face so he could look Cain in his only eye. "Your mom liked it."

"I will fucking THROW you!" Cain, once again, tried to grab Lucifer (with the same amount of success).

"You wanted to come along~" Lucifer almost had a sing-song tone to his voice as Cain once again slapped himself in the face as he attempted to wrap his stony fingers around the Devil's elusive form. "And Carmilla is expecting us, so if you would hurry." He used his tail to flick Cain on top of his head as if trying to get a horse to start walking.

Cain let out a frustrated sigh and began walking in the direction Lucifer wanted. At the end of the day, the Overlord knew Lucifer was stronger and was only letting Cain tag along as some sort of favor. It might be better to have two Overlords' opinion of the situation at hand, anyway.

Lucifer's disguise worked, too. Not a single Sinner or Hellborn was paying them any mind, other than the usual looks Cain would get when he was walking around since, like Lucifer himself, Cain didn't make too many public appearances- preferring to keep mostly imps for company.

They reached the fortress-like home of Carmilla only to be greeted by Clara, one of her daughters. "Overlord Cain, did you need something?" She stopped him right at the front door.

"I'm looking for your mom." Cain looked up at the snake on his head.

"Oh." Clara instantly seemed to recognize the situation. "I was not informed he would be bringing a guest. Right this way." She immediately let them inside, leading the way to her mother's office. The doors closed behind them and Lucifer changed back into his normal form. He pushed Cain to the side so he could take the lead as they followed Clara into the elevator.

"It's good to see you again, Clara." He tipped his hat to her. She smiled, but there wasn't much joy in it. Immediately Lucifer felt his vibrato start to waver as he was reminded of why it was, he didn't enjoy visiting the Carmines. Of all the negative emotions he felt as the Devil, the worst was guilt.

"You too, sir." The elevator doors opened, and she gestured for he and Cain to get out. They stepped into the room as Clara took the elevator back down, leaving them alone in the lavish office of none other than Carmilla. She was sitting at her desk, looking over paperwork- most likely weapon orders- and she only looked up when Lucifer cleared his throat.

"Oh. You brought Cain." She glanced over at the other Overlord, giving only a small nod of acknowledgement.

"Sup?" Cain nodded back to her.

"I haven't seen you at a meeting in quite a long time." Her eyes narrowed.

"I've been busy." Cain shrugged off her annoyed glare.

"Is that so?"

"Hey, with Hell's population growing at an exponential rate, farming and food have been completely screwed over. So, excuse me for doing my job." He glowered, crossing his arms over his chest. "But um," he relaxed again, "how's Zestiel?"

"Seriously?" Carmilla chose to ignore him looking back at Lucifer. "I'm, honestly, surprised you came. More surprised you brought Cain along."

"He was already over." Lucifer admitted; that heavy feeling in his chest still lingered as Clara's expression remained scarred into his mind.

"Oh?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow. She took a deep breath, putting her papers down on the table. "Lucifer," she met his gaze. "What is going on?"

"Nothing. What...um... what's going on with you?" He gave her an unconvincing grin as he leaned on his cane trying to look as casual as possible. Carmilla stared at him, her face completely stoic.

"I have sensed something... unusual since the last Extermination, Lucifer." She turned her gaze to look out of the window. "I was willing to dismiss it as the Exorcists have always left a bad taste in my mouth. However," she looked back to him, meeting his gaze, her expression stern. "Then I saw you skulking about. You almost never leave your ivory tower since Lillith left."

"First of all, I do leave." Lucifer protested, only to be interrupted by Cain.

"No, he doesn't."

"Secondly," Lucifer continued seamlessly (choosing to ignore Cain) "I wasn't skulking I was investigating."

"So there is something going on." Carmilla put her hands on the table and rose to her feet. "I was afraid of this."

"Retaliation from Heaven, no doubt." Cain remarked smugly. "Big guy and I have already figured it out."

"I beg your pardon?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow.

"I don't blame you for not figuring it out. I sort of have an in with Heaven since my dad and brothers are there-or my dad was there but then he got murdered on live TV. But anyway, don't feel bad." Cain waved his hand dismissively in Carmilla's direction. She looked at Lucifer who had his face in both his hands.

"I'm sorry, he's stupid. Ignore him."

"I'm not stupid!" Cain protested at the time Carmilla replied with:

"I can see that."

"Hey, don't shit all over me just because I had a good idea." Cain threw up his hands in frustration. "I don't see you spitting out theories here. And Lucifer thought the bowl cut bandit was behind it all."

"Bowl... cut...?' Carmilla blinked. Lucifer kept his face buried, regretting ever bringing Cain along.

"Alastor. He means Alastor." He mumbled through his fingers.

"You still don't know his name?" Carmilla sighed. Pinching the bridge of her nose. "Cain, he's been to more meeting than you have in the last seven years."

"I thought he was like... missing for seven years..." Cain sounded confused, and Lucifer could see him actively trying to do the math.

"He was." Carmilla mused. "My point still stands." She turned back to the devil she had invited. "You thought it was Alastor... now you think it's Heaven... but you admit that there is something wrong."

Lucifer took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, trying to look official. "I do. And since you feel it too... that gives some credence to the Heaven theory."

"Not necessarily." She gave a small sigh, shaking her head. "I am no longer in tune with Heaven, as you know. And I was nowhere near the rank you were even when I was Upstairs."

"Carmilla don't-" Lucifer tried to interrupt but Carmilla ignored him.

"I was just a seraphim. You were an Archangel."

"Carmilla!" His voice became more severe. "The key word there is was. I was an Archangel until I got kicked out because I saw a better fucking world! Which you should know because you were there!" He leaned up and Carmilla leaned down, the tension between them rising as Lucifer was already dealing with many external stressors. It was getting harder and harder to keep a cool head.

"Question..." Cain raised his hand up in the air looking between the two and somehow missing every unspoken cue to keep his fucking mouth shut. "Did you really think ducks were better than mankind?"

"That was a rumor. But maybe. Depends on the human." Lucifer was still making eye contact with Carmilla. "Better than you? Yes. Absolutely. Able? Maybe not. Barely talked to the guy."

"Hurtful." Cain artfully placed himself between Carmilla and Lucifer. "But also, follow up question, if I may."

"You may not." Lucifer and Carmilla spoke in unison.

"Perfect." Cain was perfectly in between them. "Why would Carmilla know this? Like... that happened way long ago."

"Because I was an angel once too..." Carmilla finally broke eye contact with Lucifer to look at Cain. "I... Cain... you know this. We've told you."

"Listen that was hundreds of years ago, babe, you really think I'm going to remember shit from back then? Especially when I have better things to think about than your tragic backstory?" Cain gave a shrug.

Lucifer heaved a sigh, the tension had melted away (perhaps that had been Cain's intention, but it was impossible to tell). "Look, I'm honestly just surprised he got your name right."

"He knows my name." Carmilla huffed. "He just pretends he doesn't when he's being a fucking dick- which is all the time." She too sighed and stood back straight; her own anger also seemingly having evaporated. She rolled her shoulders, cracking her neck. She walked back to the window, looking out over the literal Hellscape below. "I don't think it's Heaven..."

"You don't?" Lucifer was calmer now. Any mention of his past could put him on a short fuse. He walked over to join her, observing the Sinners scurrying about below. "Why not? If I may ask..."

"It's too soon." She closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them again and looking down at Lucifer. "You and I both know Heaven is powerful, meticulous, and thorough... but they are not quick. You have to go up the entire chain of command before anything gets done." She put her arms behind her back. "Think of it like this: I cut off an angel's head and it took them six months to retaliate."

"Wait you did what now?" Cain had joined them in looking out of the window, but currently he was staring at Carmilla. "An angel was decapitated? And I'm only just now hearing about this?"

"Please try to keep up, Cain." Carmilla rolled her eyes. "It's not something I like to advertise. But I am certain you won't be sharing the information around because you barely talk to anyone as it is."

"Rude, but true." Cain nodded. "Continue."

"The decapitation itself is something you would have known about, if you went to the meetings." She smirked, examining her nails. "Velvette sang a whole little song about it before throwing the head all over my table."

"Aw damn, I missed Velvette? Fuck. Why couldn't Moth Man or Flat Face have been there instead? Velvette is the best one of the Vees!" Cain threw up his hands in frustration. "The one meeting I miss-"

"One? You have missed so, so many." Carmilla replied flatly.

"Is Velvette the only thing you're taking out of that, Cain?" Lucifer had to try and process the conversation happening around him. "Really? An angel gets murdered and you're sad you missed Velvette?"

"She sang a song." Cain retorted.

"I fucking can't with you." Lucifer had to take a step away for a moment. Let Carmilla deal with Cain's antics for a bit.

She had a point. (Not about Velvette- they had gotten grossly off topic, but that was probably his fault for having Cain tag along). Heaven did not typically retaliate quickly. These strange little... visions, these uncanny feelings that seemed to creep under his skin had to be coming from somewhere... else.

But where?

Lucifer put his hand to the glass. He could vaguely hear Cain and Carmilla arguing behind him, but he was focused on trying to figure out an alternate theory for what could be causing these issues. Could Carmilla be wrong? Yes. But there was no denying the validity of her points. Still... there wasn't a lot out in the vast universe that could leave Lucifer feeling like this... this kind of constant, nagging unease that lingered in the air just enough for Lucifer to question himself. But Carmilla felt it... Charlie had seemed to actually see something...

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Could he feel anything right now?

... No... not really... no more so than usual.

He opened his eyes only to see that he was no longer standing in Carmilla's office. Or well... he was... but the building had been destroyed. Lucifer jolted into a defensive position. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out- just struggling, gasping breaths. The remains of her great tower were smoldering around him. He knelt over, he could feel the scorching rubble through his gloves.

He heard giggling in the air around him. His eyes instantly landed on Exorcists, masks and all floating in the air above the building, but something was off... they looked... distorted. Even their laughter sounded garbled in the air.

Again, Lucifer tried to cry out, but all that came from his lips was a raspy breath.

The ground beneath him shook, violently, and Lucifer was suddenly aware that as he gazed in the distance, bits of Hell were... gone. The ground where he stood seemed to be crumbling away, bit by bit... it was all... falling... apart.

"LUCIFER!" Carmilla's voice sounded so far away.

"Dude what the actual fuck!?" Cain too...

Lucifer tried to speak, but his tongue felt like it was burning.

"DO SOMETHING!" There was Carmilla's voice again... he looked desperately for her, to try to grab her before the final bit of Hell collapsed-

SMACK

Lucifer felt a shooting pain across his face and suddenly he was back in Carmilla's office with Cain holding him by the shirt collar, arm still raised. Lucifer blinked, trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

"Oh, I think he's back." Cain was snapping his fingers in front of Lucifer's face. Lucifer weakly tried to swat them away.

"You know when I said 'do something', that wasn't what I had in mind." Carmilla was giving Cain a look, but instantly her attention was back on Lucifer. "Are you okay? Can you hear us now?"

"Well, you said to do something, you weren't specific. Next time you do something, and I'll yell orders." Cain was carefully putting Lucifer on one of the chairs in Carmilla's office. Lucifer rubbed his, now very sore, cheek as he started to finally reorient himself back into the present.

"D...did Cain just slap me?" He looked from Carmilla to Cain.

"Yes." At least they both were honest as they answered him together. (Though Carmilla sounded embarrassed, and Cain sounded proud.)

"Lucifer... wh... what happened...?" Carmilla did seem truly concerned (which was more than Lucifer could say for most of the Overlords.)

"I saw something... a... vision..." He was still, honestly, a bit shaken. It had been so vivid so... intense. Had this been the culmination of all those strange events? Was this a warning? A prophecy?

"What did you see?" Carmilla must have had an idea because she looked almost as shaken as Lucifer felt. "I felt something... just now..." Of course she did. Carmilla was right about one thing- Lucifer had once been one of the five Archangels. Hell, he had been their leader: The Morning Star, top of Heaven's Legions. And despite having fallen, he still maintained some of that power- far more than just a fallen Seraphim like Carmilla.

"I didn't sense anything, if it helps." Cain interjected.

"Of course you didn't, asshole." Lucifer shook himself. Whatever this was... it was strong but it was subtle. The Sinners couldn't seem to feel it. "I need to look into this."

"But you haven't told me what you saw!" Carmilla tried to protest but Lucifer was already on his feet and walking to the elevator.

"Later. I need more information." He didn't even wait for Cain. His wings spread out as soon as he was outside, and he took to the sky. He felt cold down to his core, sweat beading on his skin as he soared through the skies. He saw the hotel in the distance, the happy little sign flickering like a brightly colored beacon in an otherwise macabre landscape.

Charlie!

He just wanted to be sure she was alright.

Just a quick visit, then right to his home.

He made a dive toward the hotel coming to an immediate stop as he saw something... lying on the ground not too far from the hotel entrance. Lucifer blinked. That looked like a person...

On the ground, a man was barely stirring, just a faint twitch of a finger. A Sinner, from the looks of it. The right side of his body: hair, hands, and face seemed to be almost entirely in silhouette. The left side of him was paper white, as if someone had forgotten to fill in any color; he was completely split down the middle. His outfit was oddly colored for Hell... a white robe, gold and purple trim and-

Lucifer stopped short in midair. The recognition had hit him like a fucking truck.

Despite the Sinner being on the ground, he could he could make out the form poof the broken halo around his head split in that same black and white color, the front of it completely missing.

The man on the ground had his eyes open, not staring at anything just looking up. The eye on the silhouetted right half was completely white, devoid of an iris or pupil, it was nothing but an empty, glowing void. The eye on his other side was completely glassy black with the only color being a golden (almost angelic) flame where a pupil would have been.

He had thought this day couldn't get any worse, but Hell had once again proven him wrong. He pointed his cane directly in the man's face, horns completely out, teeth bared, wings flared.

"Took you long enough to show your fucking face around here, Adam."

I did some art for this Chapter so please enjoy some Cain! 

And Sinner Adam! (These are just Screen edits).

Chapter Text

"Well, it wasn't the worst activity day..." Charlie sat on the hotel couch, Vaggie beside her, her hand on Charlie's knee. They had just barely kept Cherri for the thirty minutes before she had headed off to do whatever she wanted, Angel had come downstairs three hours later looking exhausted, and Mimzy was constantly trying to talk over Charlie for the entire duration of the activity.

"We have definitely had worse. You know it takes Sinners a bit to warm up to the idea." Vaggie was doing her damnedest to cheer Charlie up. "Angel didn't take things seriously for a long time. But now look at him!" She gestured to Angel who was sitting on a nearby chair, scrolling on his phone, his feet kicked up. Charlie looked at Angel then back at Vaggie, unsure of the exact point she was trying to make. "I mean, not right this second, obviously. But, in general, think of how far Angel has come."

"I know... you're right." Charlie had been fighting for this dream for so long, and even if Heaven didn't see things her way... she knew she had made a difference. Maybe that was all that mattered in the end?

"Why are you both staring at me and whispering?" Angel must have noticed their glances, because he spoke up. "Do I got somethin' on my face?"

"No! No!" Charlie held up her hands as if she had been caught stealing. "It's just..." she reached down to squeeze Vaggie's hand still resting on her knee. "I'm proud of you, that's all." Angel looked up from his phone, squinting at Charlie.

"Am I dying?"

"What? No!" Charlie shook her head. "Why would you be dying!?"

"Are you dying?" Angel squinted harder.

"Nobody's dying!" Charlie wasn't sure from where this train of thought had originated. But she was ready to snuff it right out. After they had just fought for their very lives, she couldn't stand the thought of losing another friend.

"We're all dying if you think about it. Nothing is forever." Niffty's voice made Charlie scream as she lifted her legs up just in time for Niffty to crawl out from under the couch. She even felt Vaggie flinch, pulling Charlie a little closer to her.

"Oookay. That's enough talk about dying!" Charlie clapped her hands together, her feet still drawn up to her chest on the couch as Niffty started to dust. "Let's talk about something else!"

"Where'd Smiles go?" Angel seemed to have finally noticed his absence. Charlie carefully put her feet back on the floor as Niffty moved to clean the table.

"Out doing errands."

"For real?" Angel looked unconvinced.

"I mean... I assume so?" Charlie gave an uncomfortable little shrug. "I don't really ask too many questions when he leaves." He rarely gave a direct answer when she did, so it wasn't really worth pressing him for details. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her. But Charlie trusted that whatever he was off doing, it was probably nothing too concerning... this time.

"That's probably for the best." Husk replied from behind the bar. He put down one of the glasses he had been cleaning. "He doesn't like when people prod in his business."

"He could try prodding my business if you know what I mean. Might get that stick out of his ass~" Angel grinned looking over at Husk who looked far from amused. "What? It was a joke!"

"I wouldn't make that joke around him. He's been in a mood lately. Though he seemed in strangely good mood this morning..." Husk remarked, he didn't sound... upset, just... cautious? Was that the right word for it?

"How can you tell?" Angel smirked. "He's all smiles all the time."

"I can tell." Husk replied flatly.

"I hope he's okay..." Charlie hadn't really had time to catch up with Alastor since the fight. He had been rather elusive, but that wasn't exactly a new trait. Alastor liked to play things close to the chest.

"I hope who's okay?"

Charlie jumped for the second time. Angel came completely out of his chair, falling on the ground. She turned to see Alastor standing in the entrance, his arms full of bags, his smile a bit wider than usual. She saw Husk immediately look back down at the glasses on the bar. Angel had his hand on his chest as he tried to catch his breath. "Fucking Christ Almighty! How long have you been there, asshole!?"

"Long enough."

Charlie wasn't sure if it was just her imagination or not, but she could have sworn Alastor was looking directly at Husk. She cleared her throat, peeling herself away from Vaggie, whom she had instinctively grabbed when Alastor had startled them. "Welcome back!"

"Why thank you! I had a very productive day out." He nodded to the bags in his hands and Charlie's expression immediately brightened.

"You got the groceries!? That's so nice of you!" She got to her feet taking the bags out if his arms, eager to help put them up. She reached for one that looked like it had already been ripped open, but Alastor stopped her.

"Not that one, my dear."

"Oh," Charlie withdrew her hand rather quickly. "Um... sorry about that."

"Don't be!" Perhaps Husk was right, Alastor did seem to be in an almost suspiciously good mood today. "It's just more yarn." As if proving his point (and to be fair, Charlie really didn't always believe him) he pulled a nice thick skein of yarn out of his bag.

"Oh!" A wave of relief washed over Charlie. "Did you finish that sweater you made for Rosie?" It was nice that Alastor had offered to make Rosie something as a thank you. Charlie was currently making gift baskets for all the Cannibals who had valiantly laid their lives down on the line for Charlie and her dream. She had one for Rosie too, of course, but it made her feel better knowing that she had already gotten a little token of gratitude.

"Shipped it off in Hell-Mail while I was out!"

"Oh, that's what was in your package?" Vaggie was helping Charlie put away the groceries (she was just so sweet that way). "You know you could have just said that when I asked."

"Indeed I could have! But I didn't!"

"I still can't believe you fucking knit." Angel was back up in his chair again. "So does that make you some kinda hooker?"

"Well the sweater was crochet- the hooks are also crochet, actually, so everything you just said was wrong. But I do knit so I can let you off on a technicality."

"Just," Angel was laughing, "the big bad Radio Demon making little sweaters. It's fucking funny, right?" He looked around the room for confirmation.

"Ah yes, it must be difficult for you to comprehend having a hobby outside of one's main personality trait, but I assure you it does happen."

"Listen here you sack of shit, I don't gotta take that-" Angel was on his feet, getting into Alastor's personal space. Charlie instantly inserted herself between the two. They had just survived Extermination Day; she was not about to have round two in her hotel.

"Okay! Let's both calm down! Angel happens to have lots of hobbies, Alastor! And they are all quite wonderful!" She gave Angel a reassuring smile. "So why don't we all just settle down and focus on having a nice evening."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Angel did seem to be calmer now, though Charlie was a little worried Alastor's comments may have put him in a bad mood.

"Why don't we all have a grand night out again!?" Charlie clapped her hands together loudly. "Wouldn't that be lots of fun!?" She hadn't technically been on the last big night out, but she had seen it all from Heaven's display. She knew she could completely trust Angel if she allowed them to have a night on the town.

"For real?" That definitely seemed to have improved Angel's mood. "Is that even your scene, Miss Goodie Two-Shoes?"

"Yeah! It could be fun! I mean I don't do it all the time but you really earned it after everything we have been through." Charlie looked at Vaggie who smiled and nodded. It wouldn't be terrible for Charlie to have a nice night out with her friends either. She could relax, think about something other than the Exterminations, Heaven, and what their Retaliation may be.

"I am texting Cherri right fucking now. If we are taking you of all demons out clubbing, I need backup." Angel was excited. "I gotta change. I am not going out like this. But first:" He stopped halfway up the stairs, "we ain't doing any feel good exercises. None of that Kumbaya bullshit. Got that? This is fun only. "

"Got it! Just fun! No holding hand around a campfire- though that would be a good activity for next time! Great suggestion Angel!" Charlie could hear him groaning as he made his way up the stairs, but she ignored it, turning her attention, instead, onto the room's other main occupant. "What about you Alastor?"

"No thank you." He patted the remaining bags in his arms. "I have had quite enough fun for one day. I think I will stay here, maybe get started on a scarf."

"If you're sure." Charlie had assumed he would turn them down. She had trouble imagining Alastor going out to a modern club. "We should probably invite Mimzy too..."

"We don't have to." Vaggie assured her. "Especially if this is supposed to be a celebration for our whole big last stand ordeal since she literally did nothing."

"Yes, but," Charlie both took her hands in her own, "it's rude to invite everyone except her. Mimzy is in this hotel too."

"Fiiiiiiine." Vaggie sighed dramatically and Charlie couldn't help but giggle at her theatrics. She had a feeling Vaggie was just trying to make her smile. She leaned down and pressed a kiss on her girlfriend's nose.

"Thank you."

Vaggie smiled as Charlie released her hands. "You're lucky you're so cute." She leaned up, returning Charlie's little kiss with one of her own before turning to walk over to the stairway that led up into the hotel living quarters. "YO MIMZY! WE'RE GOING OUT. YOU WANT IN OR NO!?"

It was only a minute or so before the small blonde poked her head out from the hallway. "I was in an important business meeting!"

"So, you don't want to go out on the town with us?" Vaggie folded her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrow.

"I... well I never said that." Instantly, Mimzy's tone changed. She began fixing her hair with her fingers. "I could easily get more sales out and about."

"Hurry and get ready. You have till Angel's done, and no bringing your products! This is fun only." Vaggie shooed Mimzy with her hands and Mimzy quickly scurried back to her room. In truth, Angel could take quite a while to get ready, so there really wasn't a huge rush, but they weren't going to tell Mimzy that.

"We're going out tonight!?" The doors flew open, and Cherri burst her way in, a bit of blood still on her clothing. Charlie frowned, but it wasn't her place to judge. Redemption was a process (if it even worked at all... no, Charlie, don't think like this. It could work. It would work.)

"Yep!" Charlie smiled brightly, pushing those negative thoughts away. This was about having fun! "Angel is already getting ready if you want to-" Charlie didn't even get to finish her sentence as Cherri barreled past her and up the stairs. "... okay then." Charlie blinked after her. "I guess she's excited."

"Very." Vaggie returned to Charlie's side. "I think everyone is." She slid her arm under Charlie's. "I think it's a good idea." Despite the grand re-opening party. Everyone still seemed to be quite on edge. Charlie, herself, had been feeling a little antsy. Maybe two celebrations in two days was excessive, but she felt as if she needed something to distract her mind or she would just linger on everything she had done wrong in the fight.

"I hope so..." Charlie reached over, placing her hand on Vaggie's as she gently held Charlie's arm.

"I know so."

"Hey, why don't we get ready too!?" She could use the distraction. "You could wear that cute black dress I got you!" Plus, it might be fun for her and Vaggie to get all dolled up together. Charlie rarely did so, but this might be a nice change of pace.

"That sounds fun." Vaggie took her by the arm, leading her playfully up the stairs. Charlie had a feeling Vaggie was working incredibly hard to make Charlie feel better, and she appreciated it. Despite the secrets Vaggie had withheld, Charlie knew, without a doubt, that Vaggie only had her best interests at heart. (Or whatever Angel's have).

"What should I wear?" Charlie threw open her closet, staring at all the identical red suits with a perplexed expression. When she had an outfit she liked, she tended to buy in bulk. Still, this was going to be a nice occasion, she wanted to dress up.

"What about that red dress we got last time we were out shopping?" Vaggie suggested from behind her.

"Oh right! I think it's still in the bag..." Charlie had to fish it out from underneath a pile of very cute faced stuffed animals that Vaggie had won her last time they went out on an actual date. (It had been way too long since their last one. The hotel was taking up so much of Charlie's time. Suddenly she was even more excited about going out. She and Vaggie could share a few dances~). Charlie pulled the dress from the bag, holding it up to her. It was surprisingly not wrinkled to all hell given how Charlie had treated it. She changed from her suit into the glistening red gown, using the closet vanity to do a quick face of presentable makeup. She even decided to change up her hair just a bit. "I haven't gotten dressed up like this in a while!" She commented, turning around only to see Vaggie had changed into a sleek, black dress with ornate silver accents. (Charlie had picked it out specifically for Vaggie, the colors were Vaggie's favorites after all.) Even her usual bow had been exchanged for a beautiful red hairclip that had technically belonged to Charlie, but the two always exchanged hair accessories for events like this. It was an unspoken tradition.

"Well?" Vaggie did a little spin for her. "What do you think?"

"You..." Charlie had to catch her breath for a moment. "You look stunning." Her expression must have given everything away, because Vaggie chuckled, making an obvious show of looking Charlie up and down.

"I could say the same about you." Vaggie walked over and tilted Charlie's face down with her hands so she could give her a soft kiss. "Red is your color."

"HEY BITCHES ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!?" Angel's voice boomed from somewhere in the adjacent hall. "I DID NOT GET ALL SLUTTED-UP TO STAY IN DOORS!"

"YOU ARE FUCKING FINE!" Vaggie shouted back

"Let me get my shoes!" Charlie had to pull away from Vaggie as she fumbled for a pair of heels from the mess in her closet. She quickly put them on before grabbing Vaggie's hand and dragging her downstairs. "Ready!"

"Aw fuck yeah look at you two!" Angel seemed to instantly approve of the outfits. "We all look hot as fuck right now!" He pulled Charlie and Vaggie into a quick selfie. "This club ain't gonna know what the fuck hit 'em!"

"Damn straight! We are gonna absolutely destroy tonight!" Cherri was also dressed up for the occasion. Even Mimzy had changed her dress to something a little nicer. "Which club are we gonna own tonight, anyway?"

"Oh! I was thinking we could go to Gomorrah; Sodom can get a little too rowdy for my taste." Charlie cringed a bit at the memory of her last visit. She didn't need to repeat a drunken Sinner trying to dance with her, despite her clearly dancing with Vaggie- and then puking all over her dress. Gomorrah was a bit more classy- in fact- it was the nicest club in all of Hell. Charlie had gone there a few times over the years.

"You can get us into Gomorrah?" Angel grabbed Charlie by both her hands. "Tell me you're not bullshitting right now."

"Yeah! It's no big deal."

"It is a very big deal! A fucking huge deal! We are going Gomorrah! Wait, am I dressed like too much of a ho? Or not enough?" Angel began to look himself up and down, letting go of Charlie. Cherri looked him over, deep in thought.

"Personally, I think it's the perfect amount of ho."

"Thank you." Angel looked relieved. "What are we waiting for!? Let's get the fuck outta here!" Immediately he was back in high spirits. He threw the doors to the hotel open, and Charlie couldn't help but laugh as she followed behind, her fingers intertwined with Vaggie's.

This would be a really nice night. Angel was already feeling uplifted; Cherri was feeding off his energy. Husk and Niffty were tagging along, though Husk didn't seem nearly as enthusiastic as the others. Niffty just looked happy to be invited. Mimzy had actually left her product bag (mainly to keep Niffty out of it) but Charlie was glad to see it. It might be nice for Mimzy to enjoy some time away from her job. (Charlie had already been talked into buying several shampoos just to stop Mimzy from freaking out.)

Charlie took the lead as they reached the club in question; the beautiful crystalline building would flash with colors from the lights inside. There was a long line already forming at the door. Usually, Charlie would wait her turn- but this particular line could get quite rowdy, and she was trying to avoid stress right now. She took a deep breath, her arm in Vaggie's, and walked past the line of complaining Sinners and Hellborns to the large Hellhound guarding the front doors.

"Name?" He didn't even bat an eye at her.

"Charlie Morningstar." She tried to stop her voice from squeaking. She hoped this would actually work. He looked at her, then at the group behind her, then down at the list in his hand. "An um... guests..." Charlie gestured to her friends. The hound sighed and reached over lifting the velvet rope.

"Enter."

"Omigosh! Thank you!" Charlie quickly scurried past, as if afraid he might change his mind. Angel instantly followed behind, looking around, eyes wide.

"This place is fucking classy." He stopped to admire himself in one of the reflective crystal pillars that lined the entryway. He looked back at Cherri. "You were right, this is the perfect amount of slutty."

"See? I fucking told you." Cherri put her arm around Angel as they all continued to the main area, several floors all overlooking a glowing crystal dance floor. A live band played as Sinners and Hellborns danced or drank (or both). It wasn't nearly as crowded as other clubs as this particular venue was just for Hell's Elite.

"Pretty!" Niffty seemed enthralled with all the dancing lights around her.

"You've been here before. We both have." Husk was the only one looking unimpressed as he made a B-line straight for a table all the way in the back corner. Charlie was a bit surprised by his reaction but decided to follow him.

"You have?" Charlie echoed back.

"Back when I was an Overlord." He gestured for the others to sit around the table. "C'mon, sit sit, make a circle." He took a glance around, positioning Angel and Cherri directly in the sightline of the bartender. "The alcohol here is overpriced as hell. You're paying out the ass for subpar drinks. So," He took off his top hat, "I came prepared." He gestured to Charlie, "name your drink."

"Any drink?" She blinked uncertainly.

"Any drink."

"An appletini?"

"Coming right up." Husk reached into his hat, pulling out a martini glass. He placed it on the table and then reached in again pulling out four bottles and a shaker in rapid succession. He poured from the bottles into the shaker in a fluid motion and then picked it up, tossing it gracefully and shaking it up before pouring the green liquid into the glass and passing it to Charlie. He swept everything back up into his hat as the others just stared at him in disbelief.

"How did you-" Angel began, but Husk shook his head.

"A good bartender doesn't reveal his secrets. Now gimme a drink."

"Sex on the Beach!"

"On it." Again, Husk pulled the bottles from his hat (different ones this time) and began to mix up a drink for Angel. He went around the table getting everyone's drink orders, somehow pulling all the right ingredients (and glasses) from his hat. Eventually, they all had drinks in their hands and Husk put his hat back on as if nothing had happened. "Let me know if you want more."

"That is the coolest thing I have ever seen you do, just so you know." Angel remarked as he sipped his Sex on the Beach. "What else can you pull outta that hat?" He leaned over the table a bit, getting closer to Husk.

"Just drinks. Calm your shit." Husk replied dryly.

"You're not going to get in trouble for this, are you?" Charlie was a bit concerned. This club could be notoriously strict.

"Only if we get caught. But I know where the security cameras are, so we should be fine." Husk didn't seem concerned, so Charlie chose to put her faith in him. "Do you not like it, Mimzy?"

"Huh?" Mimzy had just been holding her drink in her hand, not taking a sip, but rather, staring intently out at the dance floor where some of the patrons were already dancing and having a good time. "No, it's fine." Husk sighed, heavily.

"Do you owe someone here money or something?"

"No! Of course not!" Her eyes darted quickly around the room. "Hmm, well actually maybe a few. But that's not what I was looking at." She waved her hand dismissively before pointing to a particular Sinner on the dance floor. She was one of several female Sinners all wearing identical red blazers over their party dresses. The Sinner in question had green skin, dark green, short and styled hair, and glowing a singular golden eye with a golden triangle for a pupil sitting more to the right of her face rather than the center like Niffty or Cherri. She had long, vertical red horns, a golden triangle seemed to float in the middle. Charlie squinted, the Sinner looked familiar, but it was hard to tell from where she had seen her before. "That's Mary-Lu! The founder of DamnWay!"

"Oh! That's where I've seen her." Charlie had seen her face on a few ads here and there. She was one of the newer Overlords, good to know she had already built up enough of a power base to earn a way inside the club.

"I didn't know she would be here! I thought she was at a conference!" Mimzy looked almost intimidated.

"Maybe this is the conference?" Charlie gestured to all the other women in the matching blazers. Mimzy's eyes lit up.

"I should be out there with them!" She grabbed Charlie by the hand. "If she sees me with you, she will be so impressed!" Charlie was pulled along behind Mimzy until they were right on the group of Sinners. "Mary-Lu! Mary-Lu!"

"Hm?" She blinked, seemingly looking over Mimzy entirely, her only golden eye falling directly on Charlie. "Princess Morningstar! Well, isn't this just an exciting little meet-up!"

"Oh, yeah, hi." Charlie was never sure how to react when Sinners were instantly friendly. It meant they wanted something from her, and she was really just trying to have a nice night. "I was here with my friends, and Mimzy wanted to-"

"Mary-Lu! Hi!" Mimzy pushed Charlie back. "This is my dear personal friend, the Princess." Mary-Lu looked at Mimzy, only just now seeming to realize she was there. She smiled, pulling out her phone, scrolling on it for a moment, before looking back at Mimzy, the smile much wider.

"Well color me surprised if it isn't Mimzy! One of our newest consultants! Let's have a girl's night selfie!" Mary-Lu slid her way between Mimzy and Charlie, her phone still out, as she snapped a quick picture (Charlie happened to notice the camera was too high for Mimzy to have been in the image at all). "Look at you, Princess, your hair is just so beautiful."

"Oh, um, thank you. But really it was Mimzy-" Charlie didn't even get a chance to finish before Mar-Lu interrupted.

"You know, if you're having trouble with those frizzy fly-aways, we have an oil for that."

"I... um..." Charlie didn't think she had been having trouble with frizz, but her hand instinctively went to her hair, trying to flatten it down.

"Oh, don't be self-conscious! We all deal with them, it's that hellish heat! You just need to change up your hair care routine just a bit. Here," she reached into her pocket and pulled out a bottle with a cute pink label on the front. She handed it to Charlie who had no choice but to take it. "Take a moment to look at the ingredients!"

"Yeah, okay." Charlie couldn't help but think that she could be dancing with Vaggie right now, but instead she was a hostage in this conversation. But the quicker she did what they wanted, the sooner she could go back to enjoying her night. So, she lifted the bottle closer to her face so she could look at the print in the dim, club lighting. Mary-Lu instantly reached back over, turning the bottle slightly in her hand.

"Sorry hun, couldn't see the label."

Charlie was about to point out that Mary-Lu had just turned the label further away, but the flash of a phone camera suggested that Charlie had already done what she needed. It would only be a matter of time till the Princess saw herself in one of those annoying DamnWay ads. "Wow, thank you for letting me look." She handed the bottle back.

"You know, you could join-" Mary-Lu started to offer the opportunity, but Charlie felt as if she had done enough to help Mimzy. It was clear these Sinners only cared about using the Princess's image.

"I actually have a full-time job running a hotel. Thank you." She gave her best royal smile. Mary-Lu looked, for a moment, like she might try and finish the pitch regardless, but something in Charlie's expression made her stop.

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. And until then, you can get our products from your," she pulled her phone out again, "dear friend..." Charlie sighed.

"Mimzy."

"Of course! Our wonderful, enthusiastic Mimzy!" Mary-Lu turned her attention to Mimzy at long last. "I hope you are out offering the opportunity and building up your Empire!"

"Um, obviously!" Mimzy looked thrilled at the attention. "Why don't we talk shop, I have some questions about-" Mimzy reached out to Take Mary-Lu by the arm but instantly two of the other Sinners in the red blazers stepped in front.

"All questions can be addressed in the training. Which is actually going on right now, isn't it?" Mary-Lu gave Mimzy a little wave. "It was just so super to meet you, girl boss! But this party is for Diamond VPs and above. But I know with that determination you are absolutely going to be here in no time! Right?"

"Yeah?" Mimzy looked a little taken aback at having been stopped.

"I don't hear that DamnWay spirit! Remember, visualize then actualize! You are the only thing holding you back!" Mary-Lu clapped her hands together. "So, let's try again! Who is going to be a Diamond VP in DamnWay!?"

"I am!" Mimzy was looking excited again. Charlie did like the energy, but listening to Mary-Lu's actual words was like looking at uplifting posters. It felt nice in the moment, but there wasn't much substance to them.

"Who!?" Mary-Lu had the rest of the Sinner's join in.

"I AM!" Mimzy pumped her fist in the air.

"You're damn right! We are going to save you a spot at the head table!" Mary-Lu cleared her throat a bit as Mimzy walked forward once more. "When you're ready." She walked back to Charlie, her red-blazer clad Sinners parting like the sea. "Oh, and this is for you. Free sample. But if you use it, just tag us, okay?" She placed a small black bottle in Charlie's hand.

"Shoe glue?" Charlie blinked.

"You never know when you're gonna need it. A girl's gotta be prepared." She smiled a little wider and Charlie could see that Mary-Lu had a serpentine tongue similar to Sir Pentious. "Mimzy, you got this girlfriend! Remember, you have a whole sisterhood of support here with us! Now earn your way to this retreat! See you soon you bad ass babe!"

"You're right! I am a bad ass babe!" Mimzy seemed to be quite pumped up, despite the fact that she had just been completely rejected by this Overlord. Charlie was ready to comfort Mimzy, but it didn't look like she would need it. So, she made her way back to the table where Angel and Cherri had made a game out of asking Husk for more and more obscure drinks.

"How'd that go?" Vaggie gestured for Charlie to return to the seat beside her.

"Super uncomfortable." Charlie placed the little bottle back on the table.

"Why do you have shoe glue?" Vaggie picked up the little bottle, examining it.

"Because they want to exploit my title for sales." Charlie was optimistic, but she wasn't stupid. She had lived her whole life in Hell, seen her mother, father, and even her own image used in various cash grabs throughout the years. Vaggie rolled her eye, putting the bottle on the table, placing her hand over Charlie's.

"Do you wanna dance? Forget about all this shit?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely." Immediately Charlie was on her feet, practically dragging Vaggie onto the dance floor. "So how many drinks has Husk not produced?" Charlie had to speak a bit louder to be heard over the music as the two started to dance.

"None, actually. I am not sure how he's doing it." Vaggie laughed, Charlie felt her worries melting away. This was the whole reason she had gone out. Seeing Vaggie in the color changing lights, getting to move with her, Charlie suddenly felt lighter than air.

They spent so many songs on the dance floor that Charlie had completely lost track of time. They were just dancing, laughing, enjoying the atmosphere. Charlie felt reinvigorated!

They could have stayed out there all night, but Charlie stepped in something quite sticky on the dance floor. She tried to pull her foot away but-

Snap

"Oh fuck, my shoe..." Charlie stumbled as she pried her shoe free, crashing into another Hellborn whose drink spilled all over her.

"Okay fucking rude." The Hellborn scoffed. "I hope you're planning to pay for that"

"It was a fucking accident, jackass." Vaggie instantly was by her side, helping Charlie back to her feet.

"No, it's fine. It was my fault." Charlie sighed, she reached into her clutch pulling out a wad of bills. "Sorry for the inconvenience." Once satiated, the Hellborn lost all interest in the two. "My shoe completely snapped. I really liked these." Charlie sighed.

"Well, we do have that glue..." Vaggie nodded to the table.

"If it's okay with you, I think I want to change. Or at least get the wine off." She hated to leave so soon, but if they planned to come back, it wasn't so bad. The night was still young after all!

"Totally fine, babe." Vaggie reached up, moving a strand of wine-soaked hair out of Charlie's face. "Come on, let's tell the others we'll be back."

Angel, Cherri, and Husk had made it to the dance floor, though Husk seemed to have been dragged there. Angel took a look at Charlie with her heel in her hand, wine dripping from her hair and shook his head. "Girl, you look like shit. Need us to fuck someone up for you?"

"No, that's sweet but unnecessary." Charlie did appreciate their willingness to defend her. But this was a nice club, and she didn't want them all thrown out.

"Seriously, name the bitch." Cherri leaned over. "We'll make it look like an accident."

"You are not subtle enough for that." Vaggie retorted.

"Eh, you got a point." Cherri seemed less offended and more amused by the comment. "Well Sheila, if you change your mind, offer is still on the table."

"Thank you." Charlie smiled. "But I am just going to change. Can you guys tell the others?" Mimzy was at the actual bar, talking to the bartender who couldn't leave due to his job. Niffty was scurrying around in the dark, cleaning the crystalline dance floor. Charlie did see the red head stop at the spot where her shoe had gotten caught, looking annoyed.

"Sure thing." Angel nodded. "You hurry back, we aren't even properly buzzed yet, so things are gonna get wild from here!"

"Not too wild!" Charlie replied quickly.

"Not too wild ... without you." Angel winked at her, shooting finger guns in her direction. Charlie was torn between being flattered and concerned.

"We'll be right back." Vaggie looked amused as she nudged Charlie toward the exit. The two took their leave and soon the soft music from the club was replaced by the usual loud hum of background noise as they walked through the busy streets of Hell.

"Sorry about this," Charlie looked down at Vaggie apologetically.

"Don't be. I was ready for some fresh air anyway. I just hope the others don't burn the place down in our absence."

"I mean... the building is crystal; it would be very hard to burn."

"They'd find a way." Vaggie gave a small smile to Charlie who couldn't help but giggle.

"Despite this little blip, I am having a nice time." She pulled Vaggie to her, a little closer.

"Oh, me too. It's been fun."

"Thank you for coming with me. I know you could have stayed, and I just appreciate that you- Cain?" Charlie blinked as she saw a figure walking through the crowd out of the corner of her eye.

"Of course I came, that place would be trash without you there."

"No, I mean, yes- I am so, so, so happy you came with me, and that is what I wanted to say! But also," Charlie turned Vaggie a bit just in time for the former Exorcist to see a stony looking man in a leather jacket vanish into the crowd. "I think that's my Uncle Cain."

"Uncle Cain? You have an uncle?"

"Not like a real Uncle, he was just a friend of my parents." Charlie started to weasel her way through the crowd, trying to keep an eye on him. "I don't think my parents have siblings. He was just the first man in Hell, so he's just been around for like... ever."

"Oh, Abel's brother." Vaggie followed her without question. Charlie had eyes on Cain again, but she swore she saw something... white draped across his shoulders.

"You know Abel?" She had heard Cain mention the name a few times, but it always seemed to be a touchy subject.

"I mean, I met him a few times..." Vaggie shrugged. "The Exorcists don't really intermingle outside their clique. So, I maybe said ten words to him. Why are we following Cain?" It seemed Vaggie didn't particularly enjoy talking about her time in Heaven and Charlie understood that. So, she didn't comment on the abrupt subject change.

"This is going to sound crazy... but I think I see my dad with him."

"Okay? And? You said they're friends, maybe they're just going out somewhere to, you know, catch up. It might be good for your dad. You said he's been kind of a recluse."

"Neither of them are the type to go out. Dad hasn't been socializing since mom... well..." Charlie tried to keep her focus on Cain. "And Cain doesn't like other Sinners. He really only hangs around Hellborns. He likes... individual Sinners, but he told me big groups of them give him a headache. So, if that is dad..."

"I don't really see your dad, I'll be honest."

"He's the snake. I- damn it!" Charlie stumbled again thanks to the broken shoes. Vaggie caught her but she completely lost sight of Cain in the crowd.

"Careful." Vaggie caught her before she completely face-planted on the cement. "I don't think you're gonna catch up to him with a broken shoe."

"Ugh." Charlie huffed for a moment, her head flopping onto Vaggie's shoulder. "Wait! I can just go by the house! If that wasn't dad, he should still be home!"

"This is really bothering you, huh?" Vaggie squeezed her shoulder.

"Dad was acting kind of... weird at the party. I don't know if it was just me? But like... he seemed high strung. And I know he always seems a little... strained but like..." Vaggie had helped Charlie to a bench by this point so she could readjust her hoof in her broken shoe. "At the party I swear he seemed to be distracted."

"Hey," Vaggie hugged her a bit closer. "If this is bothering you, then we can absolutely run by the house to give you some peace of mind, okay?" Charlie sat up, squeezing Vaggie close to her, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you."

"But maybe we don't run because your shoe is fucked."

"Fair." Charlie smiled, walking arm in arm with Vaggie toward the mansion she had once called home. It was entirely possible that she hadn't seen her dad at all and Cain either just had a scarf or had adopted a pet snake. Cain never seemed to mind snakes, though Charlie had never gotten the impression he liked them. A scarf seemed equally unlikely since Charlie had never seen him wear one in all the years she'd known him.

They made their way up the winding path, through the gates, and up to the massive mansion doors. Charlie placed her hand on the door, the handle glowed, recognizing her, and slowly turned. The door started to swing open before it came to an abrupt stop and then started closing back.

"What the fuck?" Charlie started to try and push the door back the other way before it closed. She leaned her whole weight into it, her cheek against the solid wood.

"Hi!"

Charlie jumped as a face appeared near her's on the other side of the door. She didn't really recognize the Hellborn speaking. He looked to be roughly her age; his hair was a deep crimson that matched his glowing pupils. The sclera of his eyes was completely black, his skin an icy blue. "Oh, um, hi?"

"It's good to see you princess!"

"Yeah, um, who are you?" Charlie pushed her weight against the door, but it wasn't budging.

"Lysander! I am your dad's security intern. I am learning all about security from him."

"Okay, Lysander, this is my childhood home so if you don't mind just letting me in-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, no can do that your highness." The door wasn't budging. "I have strict orders from the boss not to let anyone in."

"Okay, but clearly he wasn't expecting me." Charlie insisted.

"Yeah, he wasn't expecting you, you are absolutely right! But I did actually ask him to specify, and he did say-"

"Not sure why she would come. But no. Not even Charlie." Her dad's voice came from somewhere in the darkness. It sounded a little... tinny... almost like a recording.

"Did you record that conversation?" Charlie was almost impressed by the forethought.

"Um..." Lysander's fiery pupils shifted to look behind him for a moment. "I guess you could say that."

"You're seriously going to not let in the fucking princess of Hell?" Vaggie now had also joined in pushing on the door. Lysander shook his head.

"I would love to; I have actually always wanted to meet you! Loved your song on 666 News!"

"Aw! Thank you!" Despite the fact that the man was actively stopping her from reaching her own house, she could still take a compliment.

"Unfortunately, rules are rules. This is out of my hands."

"Then can I talk to someone else?" Charlie finally stopped pushing against the door. It seemed that she was no longer allowed in and the magic that protected the house knew that. But this was her fucking house! Or at least, it was before she had moved out. Still, she didn't think her dad would just lock her out completely.

"It's just me." Lysander replied flatly.

"We have an entire staff, it's not just you." Charlie knew her parents had quite an extensive array of Hellborns in their employment. She knew most of them from when she was still a little girl.

"Well, fun fact, it is just me." He replied awkwardly. "I would open the door and show you, but I literally can't."

"That's bullshit." Vaggie tried to slide her arm through the crack in the door but was stopped by an unseen force. Charlie gently pulled her arm back.

"It's magic, if dad doesn't want us getting in, we won't." The fact that the door had opened at all simply meant that this Lysander guy had actually opened it for her just enough to maybe explain the situation. She wasn't sure why he bothered since the door simply refusing to open would have been evidence enough.

"Again, sorry about that."

"Charlieeeeeeee~"

"Huh?" Charlie swore she heard her name in a woman's voice somewhere in the darkness behind Lysander. "I thought you said you were alone?"

"I am. I'm the only hired staff left." He closed the door a little more. "And I really gotta go back to securing stuff."

"Wait!" Charlie could easily assume her dad wasn't home at this point. "Do you know where my dad is? I really need to find him."

"Huh," Lysander looked thoughtful for a moment, "he left with Cain a bit ago."

"Do you know where he went?" Vaggie raised herself to her full height, but still didn't reach to Lysander's face, the intern was taller than even Charlie.

"I do not, no. It's not my business." He gave a little shrug.

"They went to see a bitchy Ballerina!"

"Who is in there with you?" Charlie knew she had heard a voice.

"No one. I gotta go. I left the oven on." And with that, the door was closed directly in her face. Charlie couldn't believe her father would choose to lock her out of her childhood home. They were definitely going to have words.

"Are you okay?" Vaggie gently squeezed Charlie's arm. "That whole exchange was kinda weird, right?"

"I'm calling dad." Charlie pulled out her phone, dialing his number. It rang and rang and rang. Nothing. Just voicemail. "Dad, why am I not allowed in the house!? And I heard a woman's voice. Who is in there!? What are you hiding!?" She knew she was ranting a bit. As they made their way (finally) back toward the hotel. Sure, they had been sidetracked, but now Charlie had gone from puzzled, to actually upset. She didn't like having things kept from her, especially after her very life had been put on the line, and the lives of her loved ones. She was not about to risk everything again because her father was being an elusive piece of shit. "You better tell me everything! And also," her voice lightened up, becoming less intense, "you left those fountains up. Can you maybe take away just the chocolate one? I keep finding people in. Oh! And this is Charlie by the way. Okay bye bye." She sighed, hanging up.

"I think that might be the first angry call I have ever heard end with: bye bye." Vaggie mused.

"I should call him again." Charlie didn't like the idea that she was getting ignored.

"Slow it down, he'll answer. It sounds like he was meeting with Carmilla. So maybe he just can't get to his phone."

"Carmilla?" Charlie blinked. "Oh... bitchy Ballerina... right that is probably who they meant. I mean I never found her to be that bitchy. I always thought she was nice." Admittedly, Charlie's interactions with her had been very minimal, but she had helped Vaggie in a time of need, and that made her good in Charlie's book.

"She's got a bit of a strong personality, but I kinda liked that about her." Vaggie smiled, and. Charlie felt a bit better. Vaggie didn't seem nearly as concerned as she felt.

"We couldn't have won without her help." Charlie smiled too. "I guess I can just wait for dad to call me back." She sighed, going to put her phone back in her bag. "I can always a-" Charlie's words got cut off as suddenly she felt very sick. The phone toppled out of her hand; Charlie's breath seemed to catch in her throat. She looked down, the ground around her was crumbling, as if disintegrating away. She reached to grab Vaggie, but she wasn't there. She could no longer feel the comforting warmth of her hand on her arm. She wanted to speak-to cry out for Vaggie- but it felt as if her voice was trapped in her throat.

Charlie realized how quiet things were. She couldn't hear... anything. Even as the ground continued to crumble away, falling into the darkened void below (Charlie did not know what was down there- but the very thought filled her with dread) was completely soundless. Finally, there was a sound- garbled, distorted- something Charlie could barely recognize as a laugh. Her eyes looked up to see Exorcists, hundreds of them, swarming in the sky in such great quantity they blocked out the image of Heaven above...

She heard the laughter again, closer this time, the sound of it hurt, despite it being so much quieter, almost like a whisper in her ear.

"CHARLIE!"

Instantly the princess was awake, she was laid out on the ground, her head on something soft she vaguely realized was Vaggie's lap. Vaggie was leaning over her, eyes wide looking terrified. "V... aggie?" Charlie mumbled weakly. She was back. Or maybe she had just dreamed the whole thing? She didn't think she had gotten that drunk to black out on her walk home. She had only had two drinks.

"Thank fucking god!" Vaggie leaned down, throwing her arms around Charlie, holding her close. "You just went catatonic! You scared the shit out of me!" Charlie hugged Vaggie just as tightly, that had, honestly, scared her too. She closed her eyes, just hugging the fallen angel to reassure her.

"I think maybe I had too much to drink? I had some kind of like... nightmare..." Charlie laughed softly to help assure Vaggie that she was, in fact, unharmed. She opened her eyes, Vaggie's dress had gotten a small red stain on it. "Aw, you got something on your dress..." Charlie ran her fingers over it, the stain was still wet.

"Stain on my...?" Vaggie pulled away, looking at Charlie, her eyes went wider. "We're going back to the hotel; I'm calling your fucking dad. If he doesn't answer, I'm calling him till he does."

"Vaggie I just had a bit too much to..." Charlie wiped her nose with the back of her hand only to see the red color smeared over her skin. "What the fuck...?"

"Can you walk?" Vaggie placed a hand to Charlie's cheek.

"Y... yeah I feel okay now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." To prove her point, Charlie carefully got to her feet. It felt like the bleeding had stopped, she didn't feel nearly as shaky. "See?" Instantly Vaggie had an arm around her waist, supporting her.

"I'm still going to escort you back." Vaggie insisted. Charlie nodded, putting her own arm around Vaggie.

"Sorry, I guess I ruined our night..." Charlie gave an apologetic smile.

"As long as you're okay? I'll still call this a great night. But we are finding out what happened right fucking now."

Vaggie kept an eye on her the entire way back to the hotel. Charlie didn't mind, she was just a bit sad their night of fun was over, she would have to apologize to Angel and the others later. At least Vaggie didn't seem to mind. The hotel drew closer, and Charlie suddenly realized just how exhausted she was feeling. She was ready to get back home, shower, collapse on her bed and-

"Dad?" Charlie blinked. Her dad was fully transformed- wings, horns, tail, and all- standing in front of the hotel, his cane pointed at a lump on the ground. He didn't move, Charlie doubted he had heard her. "Dad!" She called a bit louder as they drew closer. She saw her dad poke the mass on the ground with the end of his cane.

"Mr. MORNINGSTAR!" Vaggie made sure they got his attention.

"Oh! Char-Char!" It looked like the girls had caught him off guard. He made a motion, signaling them to stop. "Hang on just a second, daddy is doing something." He turned back to what, Charlie just now realized, was a Sinner, lying motionless on the ground. "Come on, wakey wakey you sack of shit."

"Nope! We're not waiting! We need to talk to you RIGHT fucking now." Vaggie ignored the Devil's requests and continued to walk forward. She got close enough to grab Lucifer by the wrist. "Something happened to Charlie." She kept her voice quiet, but Charlie's father clearly heard her. He looked at Charlie with concern.

"Charlie!?" He pulled the two away from the Sinner on the ground, looking Charlie over, up and down. He must have noticed the dried blood on her nose because he offered her a tissue. "What happened?"

"I... I don't know... I blacked out... had like a weird nightmare, and then woke up and suddenly I had a nosebleed?" Charlie felt a little weird having all this attention on her. "But why am I locked out of the house?"

"Oh. Um, it's just not quite show-ready." His answer was entirely unsatisfactory, but it was clear he was far more interested in checking her over. "I don't think you'll have another one of those episodes, but if you do: tell me at once." He put his hand over Charlie's. "And take it easy, okay?"

"What was that?" Charlie felt like nothing she asked was getting a straight answer. It was a bit frustrating, however she could tell her dad was focused on several things at once. (Though his concern for her seemed to trump everything else, so that was kind of nice to see.)

"Hard to say for sure. But take it easy nonetheless." He nudged her back a bit more. "Now give me just a second." He turned back to the Sinner on the ground. "You should be awake by now, come on fucker." Her dad jabbed the Sinner with the cane, again, to no avail. Charlie squinted at the black and white form on the ground and was instantly reminded of an annoying rock ballad that had been sung directly in her face at the beginning of this mess.

"Is that... who I think it is?" Charlie squinted at the man on the ground.

"Yeah, it's Adam..." Lucifer finally lowered the cane, he gently lifted Adam's head off the ground. Adam's eyes were open, but only half lidded, his head rolled limply as Lucifer looked him over. "But something's wrong... he should be awake by now."

Chapter Text

"Come on fucker, wake up." Lucifer carefully tried to lift Adam into a sitting position, but he was completely limp.

This never happened. It wasn't supposed to happen. Lucifer knew what a Fall was like, he'd gone through it himself. Your body plummeted to the ground, transforming into what would be your new form. It was agony, but typically you were awake to know that. Lucifer had always assumed it was part of the punishment. (Maybe even after being cast out, Adam still held enough favoritism that they spared him the pain... but that seemed incredibly unlikely. Even still, he should be awake by now.) Adam had broken the contract with Hell. He attacked Charlie. And for that, Adam wasn't allowed to simply die. Death would be a release. Adam went back on a deal and there was a price to pay. And that price was damnation.

But in order to suffer Adam needed to be awake. A little dizziness or disorientation could be expected, but Adam was comatose. This wasn't normal.

He supported Adam's torso with one arm as he held his head in his other hand, looking into those half-lidded eyes. There was nothing- no light, no movement. Lucifer might as well have been holding a life-sized Adam doll at this point. "You love hearing yourself talk, so you should definitely say something." He moved his hand up Adam's cheek to his black eye. He used his fingers to pry the lid open, trying to see if there was any reaction. The gold that seemed to represent the pupil was dull, unmoving in the black void around it. The white eye didn't seem to have a pupil at all.

"Why is he here? What's wrong with him?" Charlie was getting closer. Lucifer held his hand out to stop her from approaching. It was bad enough that Charlie had seen the vision too- that combined with Carmilla's reaction meant that this was not something he could ignore.

"Why he's here is... complicated, as for what's wrong... I'm... not sure." Lucifer believed in signs and omens. He had to- he was an angel after all, fallen or not. And all of this seemed to signal something bad on the horizon. When it had just been his own instinct and discomfort, he could ignore it. He was the Devil, after all, suffering was nothing new. But now it was affecting Charlie. Now something had to be done about it.

"Is he dead?" Thankfully, Vaggie seemed to pick up on Lucifer's concerns, because she was now holding Charlie's arm, pulling her gently back from Lucifer and the Sinner on the ground.

"I mean, yes. Technically speaking." Lucifer's attempt at humor only got him a dirty look from both girls. "But no. As far as Sinners go, he's alive, just... I dunno... unconscious?" Lucifer shifted Adam so he was more or less laying against the Devil, giving Lucifer use of both his arms again. He forcibly opened the black eye on Adam's left side with his fingers. (He had no idea if Adam could even see out of the right one. If he couldn't, it fucking served him right after what happened to Vaggie. Sure, Lute had done the actual deed, but it was with Adam's permission, and apparently the fucker had overseen the whole thing so, if he ended up being blind in that eye: good. An eye for an eye.) A light appeared on his index finger on his other hand, and he lifted it, so it shown directly in the open eye.

The golden pupil swelled exponentially larger for a moment before returning to its original size. So, he was definitely alive. Was that really a good thing? That was debatable (probably not, that meant he was Lucifer's problem now), but it was at least confirmation he wasn't dead. But why wasn't he awake? In fact, Lucifer couldn't really recall any recent incidents of Sinners being asleep at all. Maybe the fact that Adam Fell made things a little different, but that didn't account for whatever this shit was.

Lucifer made the light vanish, releasing Adam's eye. As he pulled his hand back, he saw golden blood staining his black glove. He quickly wiped it off on his suit lapel. Now that was a little more expected, sustaining an injury during a Fall was traditional, to say the least. Maybe he just got knocked out? Lucifer turned Adam's head to examine the silhouetted side. He could see flecks of golden blood along the temple and cheek. Must have been where he hit the ground. Face first. That must have been fucking hilarious- Lucifer was a bit sad he had missed it. The injury had been hard to see due to Adam's... unique coloration and the dim lighting (it was rather late). Maybe all of this was just due to some head injury. (Though Lucifer had always assumed Adam had a thick skull.)

"Dude did you fucking ditch me back at the bitch ballet? What the actual fuck, asshole!?" Cain's voice reminded Lucifer that he had started this whole adventure with company. He looked up for a moment to see the angry Sinner storming toward him in quite a huff.

"Hi Uncle Cain." Charlie gave a little wave.

"Hi Charlie." Cain immediately lost any sense of anger, waving at Charlie, before turning back to Lucifer, rage restored. "You can't just abandon me you sack of dicks! She tried to go over boring graphs with me about fucking population growth!" Lucifer ignored him, examining the injury on the side of Adam's head. It was... really mild, actually. There was no way something like this had knocked him out.

"You should know about population growth, Cain. You're literally masterminding Hell's food production."

"But it's soooooooo boooooring- is that my fucking dad." Cain finally had noticed Lucifer was busy. It took him long enough. "Woah, woah woah," he stepped back, instinctively putting an arm in front of Charlie and Vaggie. (Lucifer was almost touched that Cain's selfish ass thought about protecting his daughter, but Cain had always treated Charlie like a niece, so it wasn't too surprising.) "What is going on, I thought he was fucking dead. Why is he here looking like some sort of half-assed art project a third grader would think was avant-garde?"

"Yeah, dad why is he back?" Charlie was on Cain's side; Lucifer didn't love the fact that they were teaming up against him. Lucifer sighed heavily, looking up.

"Adam broke a contract, Charlie. That results not just in death, but it means he must come here. Even if your weird little maid hadn't stabbed him, he'd still have been our problem. She only delayed the inevitable."

"So, when I was opening up to you about how seeing my dad murdered on live TV made me feel, you knew he'd be coming back, and you said shit-all to me?" Cain looked quite upset.

"Omigosh, Uncle Cain, I didn't think about the fact that Adam was your dad! I didn't send you a sympathy card or anything." Charlie interrupted before Lucifer even had a moment to react. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Cain once again instantly softened up when talking to Charlie, "you were just doing what you had to do. And I haven't talked to my dad in fucking forever anyway. And apparent he came back, so really you did nothing wrong. Sure, would have been nice to know that was going to fucking happen," He glared directly at Lucifer, but the Devil was content to ignore him, "but I digress."

"I wasn't one hundred percent certain, if you must know." Lucifer finally spoke up. "I didn't want to get your hopes up if I was wrong."

"Get my hopes up?" Cain squinted at him. "That he was coming back? Or that he wasn't?"

"I don't fucking know Cain, pick one." Lucifer had better things to do than focus on arguing with Cain. "I'm the devil, not a god damn mind reader."

"Why is he asleep?" Cain tilted his head to the side. Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes in frustration.

"I am trying to figure that out. But someone keeps interrupting me." Lucifer's crimson eyes flickered to meet Cain's green one.

"We just have a lot of questions," Charlie spoke up. "And you're kind of being avoidant right now."

"Char-Char, you are never an interruption. I'm talking about Cain, he's an asshole." Lucifer quickly corrected. "But I can't give you answers that I don't have. But give me some time, and I can figure this whole thing out."

"Oh, for fuck's sake! It's not that hard to wake someone up, I'm an expert. Got your ass up today, didn't I?" Cain walked over and before Lucifer could protest, he raised his hand and slapped the white side of Adam's face. (At least it wasn't the side with the pre-existing injury, Lucifer supposed.) Everyone was quiet for a moment, Charlie had her mouth covered, Vaggie was still holding her arm, Cain looked pleased with himself, and Lucifer looked like he felt: which was fucking annoyed. "Huh..." Cain looked down at Adam who remained catatonic. "Didn't work."

"NO! Really!? You fucking think?" Lucifer glared up at him.

"It worked on you." Cain retorted.

"Um, dad, what's he talking about?" Charlie spoke up again. Lucifer gave Cain a look to keep his mouth shut.

"Nothing crabapple~" He kept his voice light, easy going. "Cain just woke me up out of bed because he's an inconsiderate asshole. Isn't that right Cain."

"Yep." Thankfully, Cain wasn't quite as dumb as he looked. "Your dad ignored me when I wanted to go in the house."

"Wait, why can Cain go in the house and not me!?"

"I was home." Fuck. Charlie was still hung up on the house thing? He did NOT want her seeing the fucking disaster that he had created in the house. It wasn't at all clean. It didn't matter if Cain saw it. Lucifer didn't give two shits about Cain's opinion. "Different set of rules, Char-Char~"

"I thought you said it wasn't show ready." Charlie was glaring at him. Lucifer took a deep breath.

"Charlie, I'm sorry about the house thing. I honestly didn't think you would come by. How about, when I get home, I reverse the whole thing and we just forget about it? Then you can come in whenever you want."

"Yes, I think I would like that... thank you." Charlie seemed satiated with this. But that meant Lucifer would have to go into full cleaning mode (at least in the rooms Charlie would visit) the moment he got home. He would have to draft Lysander and Syn to help out. (Sure, Lysander was security and not a maid, and Syn had no arms- but none of that mattered. What mattered was not letting Charlie see that her father was falling apart without her or her mother around).

"Great! But there will be a slight raincheck on that." Lucifer sucked the air in through his teeth. "Just a quick one."

"Dad." Charlie looked entirely unimpressed, and Lucifer didn't blame her. He knew how it looked but unfortunately, this whole Adam fiasco had to take some priority. (The visions and the glitching on the Infernal Eye had Lucifer believing there might be more at play than just a concussion.)

"I know Charlie. I swear I'm not just stalling for time." Honestly, he wished that was what he was doing. Stalling would be far more enjoyable than what was awaiting him. "I have to look into this and to do that I have to go on a quick trip. I shouldn't be gone more than a few hours, and as soon as I get back, I promise I'll fix the door so you can go to the house. You have my word."

"It's two in the morning, dad!" Charlie looked even more distressed, which was exactly the opposite of what Lucifer was hoping to accomplish. "Where the fuck do you need to go right now?"

"Just going to do some quick research. I know it's late but everything in Hell stays open till basically it gets burned down, soooo..." He watched Charlie's expression trying to see if he was winning her over.

"What the fuck ever." Charlie sighed, "Just fix the door."

"Will do Char-Char! As soon as I get back!" He hated how defeated Charlie sounded. But unfortunately, this was about her too. If something was amiss with Hell, it could threaten Charlie and she was the only thing in this God forsaken cesspit that was worth protecting. Lucifer could risk anything, except Charlie. So as much as he hated seeing her upset, her safety was more important. "Now Cain," He looked over at the other Overlord who had gotten distracted on his phone in the brief time Lucifer and Charlie had been talking. Lucifer snapped his fingers. "Cain, pay fucking attention."

"What?" Cain looked annoyed. "I slapped him, I dunno what else you want me to do. I've exhausted all my ideas."

"That one braincell is really doing overtime tonight, huh buddy." Lucifer mused. Charlie gave him a look and his smile quickly faded.

"Dad, be nice!"

"Okay, wow. You fucking ditched my ass and now you're just insulting me?" Cain glowered at him. "I am going through a lot right now. My dad is an unfinished coloring page and is completely passed out and until ten minutes ago I thought he was gone forever so excuse me if I'm not on my A-game right now."

"You're right Cain, sorry." Lucifer needed Cain to be cooperative, so perhaps it wasn't for the best that he insult him right now. "I'm tired, it's been a day for me too. But I need you to do me a huge favor." Lucifer used magic to summon bandages. He carefully covered the wound on Adam's head. "I need you to hold on to your dad until I get back. It shouldn't be long. I should be back before sunrise."

"Woah wait a second-" Cain started to protest but Lucifer got to his feet, lifting Adam with him, and shoving him into Cain's arms.

"Cain, this is really important." Lucifer let go of Adam and his body flopped on the floor like a rag doll. He glared at Cain who held his hands up.

"Don't look at me. I said to wait a second." Cain retorted.

"Cain, come on dude." Lucifer hissed.

"Oh, excuse me for having some emotional hang ups about taking the unconscious body of my dead dad- who may I remind you, murdered so, so many Sinners just like me- to my fucking house for a few hours."

"It's only going to be a few hours!" Lucifer insisted.

"What if he wakes up!?" Cain gestured to the ground where Adam still lay completely unresponsive.

"He's not going to wake up." Lucifer nudged Adam with his foot to prove a point. Adam continued to remain unmoving.

"But what if he does? What if he tries to kill me!? Or worse: talk to me! I'm not ready to have a conversation with him!"

"He's not going to wake up."

"But what if-"

"He's not."

"I'll fucking take him!" Charlie's outburst startled both Cain and Lucifer.

"Honeycrisp, no." Lucifer quickly shut that down. "It's too dangerous, what if he wakes up?"

"Are you fucking shitting me right now?" Cain was giving him a look of disbelief. Lucifer cleared his throat.

"I mean... he probably won't, but Cain, that's my daughter, man. I have to be more careful. You understand that."

"What so I'm expendable!?" Cain looked completely betrayed.

"No. No. I never said that! You're my best friend. You know that." That much was true and hopefully Cain could see the honesty in Lucifer's expression. He snaked an arm around Cain, tightening his grip a bit. "That's why I trusted you to handle this."

"I can handle looking after an unconscious body, dad." Charlie was clearly tired, and Lucifer and Cain arguing on her front lawn was probably not helping. This was also probably a bad place to be having this conversation, given Lucifer had no idea how many ears were listening in. It was best to end it quickly.

"Fine. Fine. We'll take him inside." Lucifer looked over at Cain, then back to Adam on the ground. "Are you really not going to pick him up?"

"You dropped him." Cain held his hands up again.

"Whatever." Lucifer knelt down and lifted Adam up again, he quickly looked him over to make sure he hadn't been injured any further when Cain had dropped him. It didn't look like it. "Let's go inside." He walked behind Charlie and Vaggie into the hotel, making sure Cain followed. "Charlie, where is the room that's the most isolated from all the others? I want him far away from the other Sinners."

"Well, no one is home right now, but I really don't have anyone staying on the topmost floors. I have way more rooms than Sinners right now." Charlie seemed less frustrated now, and more just tired.

"We'll leave him there." Lucifer followed Charlie up to the top floor, picking a room far to the side. He placed Adam on the bed before closing all the blinds and locking the windows. "I want the door to stay shut. No matter what, okay?"

"Got it." Vaggie seemed far from happy about the situation. Lucifer couldn't blame her given her history with the Sinner in question.

"Vaggie, keep an eye on Charlie, and keep her away from him. Cain will watch the door." Lucifer didn't want to subject the Fallen Exorcist to any more than he had to. This worked out for him too as it would keep Charlie far away from Adam. Whatever was going on with him, he couldn't risk it affecting his daughter. Vaggie would keep her safe, Lucifer trusted that. (He knew an angelic nature when he saw one. Fallen or not, Vaggie was a protector. Charlie was in safe hands.)

"Wait, I thought the whole reason he was staying here at the hotel is so that I didn't have to have anything to do with him." Cain protested.

"It's a fucking door Cain. I think you can handle that. You don't have to deal with him directly. If you hear him wake up, you can call me, and I'll come right back. Okay?" That seemed fair enough in Lucifer's book. Cain seemed to consider it for a moment, looking back at Charlie before finally nodding.

"Okay fine." Cain sighed. "But you better be back quick because this is a fucking lot." He folded his arms over his chest. Lucifer felt relief washing over him. This part had finally been solved.

"Cain," He patted him on the back, "thank you." He hoped the Overlord could pick up on the genuine gratitude he was feeling.

"Yeah okay, whatever." Cain didn't sound annoyed this time, maybe a bit embarrassed at having been thanked. Lucifer walked over to Charlie giving her a big hug, holding her close as if assuring himself that she was okay.

"Call me if you need anything, okay? I'm so sorry to run off like this, but when I come back, I should have some answers."

"Okay dad." Charlie smiled, just a small one, but it still brought the Devil so much joy. He turned to Vaggie.

"Keep her safe no matter what."

"I always do." Vaggie squeezed Charlie's hand.

"Dad, stop. I'm fine. I don't need protection." Charlie shook her head. Lucifer looked up at her earnestly.

"I'm your dad, I'm always going to try and keep you safe."

"I..." her expression softened more, "go do whatever it is you need to do and come right back okay? It's really late."

"I will, I promise." Lucifer assured her.

"And I expect answers when you get back."

"Of course, Char-Char! I'm off!" Lucifer gave her a thumbs up as he went toward the front door. He paused, thinking better of it. "Actually, this way." He went down a floor and walked into one of the unused hotel rooms facing the back of the hotel. He opened the window, turning himself into a small parakeet (a duck might be too predictable) "Now I'm off."

"Be safe dad." Charlie gave his feathery head a small pat with her hand.

"I will!" And with that, he took to the skies. Before he got too far, he turned back around, watching as Charlie gave him one last wave before closing the window behind him. Hopefully this errand wouldn't keep him long. He didn't really love the idea of leaving his daughter in such an uncertain situation. But sometimes he had to put a little faith in Charlie. After all, with Adam out cold, there wasn't much that could happen.

So, Lucifer began to fly upward, toward the glowing white rings above Hell that gazed judgmentally down upon it, upon all his past mistakes. Despite how close it looked Heaven was actually quite far, and not easy to reach. Lucifer had a direct route, he let Charlie use it for her meeting, and had Heaven been his actual destination, he would have taken it too. But it wasn't.

There was more to the sky than Heaven. Lucifer flew toward the glowing white mass, though it drew no closer. Eventually he reached a point where the sky stopped, a force prevented him from moving any further, and Heaven still looked no closer than it was on the ground. (Almost as if it were mocking those below, being close but never close enough to reach.) Lucifer had to change back to his normal form, pressing his gloves to the solid sky, feeling along the invisible wall until he found what he was looking for, a small indentation, just large for his palm to fit perfectly over it. He used his magic to activate the door, and he felt the solid wall give way. Nothing changed, visibly, but he could feel the entrance. So, he flew through the door and vanished completely.

In a matter of seconds Hell was gone. The smell of Brimstone just a distant memory, replaced with the fresh smell of running water in clean, untamed nature. The dark brooding skies with Heaven's ominous light, replaced with clear blue, no Heaven or Hell in sight. Looking behind him, the door home had already been sealed shut. All that was around him was nature. Beautiful, large trees lining a clear running river.

And here he was, the realm between Heaven and Hell. Unless someone had a direct route between the two (and very few did, only those of the highest rank) this was how you had to travel. And this place was not easy to navigate. It was massive, this river was one of thousands- if not millions that snaked through a constantly shifting countryside. Unless you knew the route through, you would be lost in here for eternity and that was not a good thing. This world was made to be transient. It was not meant to house souls long term and bad things happened to those that overstayed their welcome.

Being the devil, of course, Lucifer would be fine so long as he wasn't here for more than fifty or so years- so he wasn't particularly concerned. But he still didn't like being here. He knew the way through, but that didn't make the endless maze of rivers any less daunting as he flew on the path he knew to be correct. The sooner he got to civilization, the better.

He hadn't been here in years. There was rarely any need for him to actually visit (though he and his family had taken one or two vacations out this way.) He really hoped he still remembered the way. It should be like flying or riding a bicycle, you never forget. (Not that Lucifer had really ridden a bicycle, but he had heard Sinners talk about it.)

He soared over the trees, watching as more rivers branched and merged and changed their paths. He took a turn to the right; he didn't see much movement below aside from the water itself. Which made sense, there wasn't much life here, this was a Way Station of sorts, a place that connected every realm in existence: Heaven, Hell, the Living Realm, and... others. Each had their own path, their own exit and it was important to get off at the right stop because, believe it or not, there was worse out there than Hell.

Another turn, then another, and another, Lucifer was starting to become concerned that he had forgotten the way through. That was until he saw something glistening over the horizon. The trees became more sparse, the rivers widened, and he could see glistening multicolored buildings rising in the distance as he drew closer.

The only real city in the vast expanse.

He passed under a rather cute and cheery sign that read: Welcome to Port Gatory. The pun was new, but he had a solid idea of who had put it up. There were very few locals when it came to this realm, so the options were incredibly limited.

Purgatory.

Limbo.

This bustling port city had hundreds of names throughout the years. But for Lucifer it was simply the closest he was willing to get to Heaven in order to find the answers he needed. Every soul typically passed through Purgatory, though they never remembered their stay upon arriving at their final destination. Falling was a bit different, admittedly, but if there was a chance Adam had passed through, someone here would have had to have seen him.

Lucifer landed, he saw the massive influx of new souls, popping into existence looking confused as they started to wander through a brightly colored town by the seaside. There were so many buildings, little shops and things to occupy the souls while they were processed to where they needed to go. Lucifer wanted to avoid any humans, especially those destined to end up in Hell, so he landed on the roof of one of the shops before turning into a bird again and flying down the chimney and changing back. This particular shop seemed to be selling little figurines. Lucifer was never really sure why Purgatory bothered having this whole set up, as the items you bought typically vanished once you crossed over to your final destination.

"Welcome to Port Gatory!" Lucifer was greeted by the shop keeper. She looked like a completely normal, non-descriptive human woman. (They were really leaning into this new name thing, huh?) "Please browse my wares and let me know if I can be of assistance. Do you need the boat times?"

"It's Lucifer. I need information."

"Welcome Lucifer! What sort of information can I assist you with today? Do you need the boat times?" her smile never faded, and why would it? She wasn't real. Most of the staff in Purgatory were automated due to the fact that the nature of this domain made long term stay nearly impossible for anyone save for the strongest Hellborns and Angels. Sinners were absolutely not allowed in this place; Purgatory was a one-way river. (He was never clear on the rules with Winners, but he assumed it was a similar set up.) But that also made dealing with most of Purgatory a fucking nightmare. He needed to talk to the one in charge.

"I must speak with Death, it's urgent." Lucifer brought himself to his full height, putting his hand on the counter for extra emphasis. The storekeeper didn't react.

"My apologies, Lucifer, Death is currently away on business. Would you like to leave a message? There is also the option to set up an appointment if that is your preference."

"Well tell her it's important. I don't have time to wait." Lucifer drummed his fingers on the glass. "And I am not setting up an appointment, I don't even go to the ones set with me."

"My apologies, Lucifer, Death is currently away on business. Would you like to leave a message? There is also the option to set up an appointment if that is your preference."

The same fucking spiel. Such was the endless annoyance of dealing with any of the automated staff. Syn was more advanced than this and she was only a few years old. Sure, they had arms they could hold objects but could they hold a conversation? They could not. "No. I just want to talk to someone else."

"Who would you like to speak with? I can direct you to the last known locations of any of Port Gatory's wonderful staff. While you explore, may I offer you a travel guide to all our best sights?"

"No. No guides, just answers." So, Death was away, that was annoying. This was her domain. Still, she wasn't the only one who dealt with souls. "Where is Jezebel?" It was a long shot, but there was a Hellborn who had been tasked with ferrying the Souls from Purgatory to Hell. She had been handpicked right after the Fall, not a particularly powerful Hellborn- but Purgatory was neutral ground. Heaven and Hell must have equal representation.

"Jezebel was last seen at the ice cream shop enjoying a wonderful, refreshing ice-cream sundae, courtesy of our friends here in Port Gatory! Would you like a map to the shop and a menu?"

"No. I know where it is." Lucifer sighed.

"I hope I was able to answer all your questions today! If you need any further assistance, please just ask me or one of our other wonderful employees here in Port Gatory. Do you need the boat times?"

"No. I do not need the boat times. I... I'm Lucifer. I told you that. I don't have to take the boats. Lucifer. The devil." Was he not registering with them? Was that why the shopkeeper wouldn't contact Death?

"Okay Lucifer. The Devil. I hope you have a great rest of your stay! Please browse my wares and let me know if I can be of any assistance. Do you need the boat times?"

Lucifer threw his hands up. "I am fine. Thanks." If he wanted to spend hours talking in circles to basically no one, he would have prayed. He left the shop, walking through the busy streets of the newly dead (or those in between life and death) as he made his way to the ice cream shop in question. It was a cute little place, brightly colored umbrellas over round tables outside a brightly painted store. He saw exactly who he needed, sitting outside at one of the tables with an absolutely massive ice cream sundae that looked to almost be more toppings than actual ice cream. She was in her human disguise, which made sense, they were surrounded by human souls. "Jezebel?"

"Wow just come out the gate with the ins- oh shit, King-dude." Jezebel blinked, her (currently) brown eyes widened, she pushed her long silky black hair over her shoulder, wiping her captain's uniform in an attempt to clean it quickly. "What an unexpected surprise."

"I am surprised to see you... here." He looked at the ice cream. She followed his gaze.

"What? I was fucking hungry. I'm allowed to eat."

"Yeah, but shouldn't you be, you know, on the boat?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow. Jezebel was the captain of the Hell-Liner: the ship that took souls from Purgatory to Hell. It was a beautiful, luxurious ship that looked ten times as lavish as the Heaven-Ferry. Jezebel seemed to give up on straightening out her Captain's jacket and went back to her ice cream.

"It's automated now."

"They automated the Hell-Liner?" Lucifer blinked a bit in disbelief.

"Yep. Also maybe don't call it that where the souls can hear you? I don't need them jumping off and getting trapped here forever." She took a big bite from her ice cream. "I am surprised you didn't know cause Hell and Heaven signed off on it like forever ago. I'm just here in case shit goes awry."

"Oh..." had he signed off on that? There was so much fucking paperwork when it came to Purgatory, he mostly just put it to the side and hoped it wasn't too important. (Which was seemingly biting him in the ass currently.) He didn't remember if he had agreed to this, or simply ignored it so long his silence was presumed to be consent. Or, depending on how long ago this had started, Lillith might have been the one to give the go ahead. But she had never taken interest in Purgatory's affairs before now, so that seemed unlikely at best. This was most likely a direct result of Lucifer's negligence.

"That all you gotta say? Oh?" She didn't sound pleased with his response (or lack thereof). "Cause let me tell you, without the boat to drive around, this place is fucking duuuuullll." She shoved another spoonful of mostly sprinkles in her mouth.

"Also, without the boats being officially manned I worry more souls than ever may not be reaching their destination." The voice behind Lucifer made him cringe a bit. He had been hoping to avoid any and all contact with one of the Halos up top. But just as Jezebel served as Hell's Captain, Jazeerael served as Heaven's. He was a low-ranking angel, not a Winner. But far from a Seraphim. "I have written up my concerns in a very concise report for Heaven. If you need a copy-"

"Thank you but no thank you." Lucifer had no desire to talk to an angel any longer than completely necessary. "I'm sure Heaven will respond in two to five hundred business years." He turned back to Jezebel. "So, you have no idea if a certain soul came through here or not, do you?"

"Depends, which soul?" Jezebel gave a shrug. "And what's it worth to you?"

"Lucifer is on our list of approved beings." Jazeerael took the seat beside Jezebel, much to Lucifer's dismay. He too was in a human form, wavy red hair half hidden under a hat, green eyes with thick glasses, a face full of freckles, wearing a similar, though far less elegant, version of the captain's uniform Jezebel wore. "You shouldn't try to charge him for information."

"Don't ruin this for me, nerd." Jezebel took her spoon. Scooping it full of ice-cream before shoving it in Jazeerael's mouth when he opened it to protest. He started coughing immediately. "What soul are you looking for."

"We ah-k-" Jazeerael couldn't seem to get a word out through his coughing. "O-one s-sec-" He tried to talk.

"You are really on the struggle bus right now, aren't you?" Jezebel patted him lightly on the back. "I believe in you."

"I w-was t-talking when you d-did that. I in-inhaled like f-forty sprinkles."

"It was more like ten." Jezebel smirked. "Also, you don't need to breathe, dumbass, you're not alive."

"It still surprised me." Instantly his speech returned to normal. Lucifer had to wonder if Jazeerael had become so accustomed to playing human he had forgotten what he truly was. Purgatory could do that. Make you forget everything about yourself until you became just a wandering shell, repeating the same phrases over and over again like one of the automated employees. (And those were the lucky ones. Far worse could happen to a soul who wandered too far.) Though Jazeerael and Jezebel had been picked for these roles and thus were both in possession of an item that made them immune to Purgatory's long-term effects. "And I have to make things look real, you never know if any of the souls are watching us. Speaking of: you aren't using a human form, King Morningstar, may I recommend changing?"

"I'm not taking orders from a fucking angel." Lucifer gave him a deadpan stare. "Plus, I'm only here to ask a few questions, then I'm leaving."

"Ooooohooo, You are in some kinda mood today, aren't ya Kingy?" Jezebel gathered another big scoop of ice cream on her spoon. "Here, maybe you're just hungry. Or maybe you're just a bitch, I dunno it's been so long since I've seen you."

"It really has been a long time since someone from either side has visited. So, I have a list of things I've noticed that really should be run by-" Jazeerael pulled out an electronic tablet from his coat.

"You." Lucifer pointed to Jazeerael. "Take that shit up with Heaven. I'm not your fucking boss. And you," he looked at Jezebel. "I do actually want some of that ice cream, thank you." He materialized his own spoon and it took a massive scoop from Jezebel's sundae and flew back to him. It was actually pretty good. He took a deep breath. Well, he had them both here, might as well ask. "Did you guys see Adam come through here?"

"Do you know how fucking many people named Adam come through here on ay given day? There's probably like, I dunno, a hundred Adam's here right now." Jezebel snorted. Jazeerael looked at his tablet for a second.

"One hundred and thirty-two to be accurate."

"Adam," Lucifer sighed. "The original man? The guy in Eden?" Jezebel and Jazeerael exchanged an uncertain look. "He probably flew overhead once a year with an army of Exorcists?"

"Bro," Jezebel put a hand on Lucifer's shoulder. "I see you speaking at me but nothing coming out of your mouth makes any sense. What the fuck are Exorcists? And also, Adam died like... forever ago? His processing was already done. I think he went up? I don't really know but I guess you could ask-" Lucifer knew where this was going, and he already knew his answer.

"No. Look, Adam came to Hell once a year with an army of angels to do a bunch of murdering Sinners. He probably had to fly over Purgatory, right? Like you can't move an entire army directly between Heaven and Hell. But anyway, we killed him, and he broke a contract, so he technically Fell- capital F. So, I thought, maybe, just maybe, he had to be reprocessed through Purgatory." Again, the two exchanged uncertain looks. Both of them looked completely baffled.

"What the actual fuck are you talking about!?" She turned to Jazeerael and started to hit him with the spoon. "You're murdering our people you god damn bastard!? I am gonna fucking spoon you to death, bird boy!"

"I didn't do anything!" Jazeerael covered his head. Lucifer supposed he should be thankful Jezebel was only using a spoon as a weapon, but really, he was more confused than anything else. "I have no idea what he's talking about! You know I don't go upstairs except to drop off reports!"

"Neither of you knew about this?" Lucifer didn't interfere in the assault. It wasn't his place to break up a fight. "I forget how isolated you both are."

"Well yeah," Jezebel finally gave up on attacking Jazeerael. "No oner ever tells us shit. Apparently, I missed a whole ass genocide."

"I swear I knew nothing about it." Jazeerael peeked out from under his arms. Lucifer didn't particularly trust angels, but he was inclined to believe Jazeerael on this. Purgatory was incredibly cut off from the other planes and he was such a low-ranking angel there was no way he would have known, (According to Charlie, a lot of Heaven was in the dark about what was happening, anyways.)

"He probably didn't." Lucifer conceded that much. "So don't kill him. Heaven is already pissed enough at us because we killed Adam."

"Sounds like he deserved it though." Jezebel retorted.

"Oh, he definitely did." Lucifer assured her.

"Adam: The First Man, originally processed for Heaven. Current destination: Hell... huh..."
Jazeerael was looking at his tablet again, squinting. "It doesn't look like he passed through again, though that could be because he Fell. That has very little to do with us. And it really doesn't happen a lot so I'm not entirely sure about the protocol."

"Awesome. So, this was a fucking waste then." Lucifer rolled his eyes. "So glad I came out here."

"I'm glad you did. At least now we know about these Exterminations. I feel like that is incredibly important information." Jazeerael replied.

"Look, you guys have been doing this job for like... a while, right?" Lucifer knew Death was away, and these two were probably his best bet for not returning entirely empty handed. He wasn't going to have abandoned Charlie with Adam for nothing. They looked at each other, then at him.

"Yes sir." Jazeerael was so polite it was almost unnerving.

"Yeah fucker, pretty much since the first humans died. We're almost as old as your ancient ass." Jezebel leaned back in her chair. "Why?"

"Have either of you ever seen a human soul arrive and be... unconscious?" Might as well ask. "I mean like..." Lucifer trailed off for a moment as he tried to find the right word. "Completely catatonic."

"No?" They answered in unison. Jazeerael started looking at his tablet again, swiping very quickly at the screen as if looking for something.

"There have been no records of a catatonic soul. A little dizziness or disorientation is considered normal, but nothing more severe has ever been documented. At least not here."

"Yeah, that sounds fucking weird, dude." Jezebel finally finished her ice cream, looking vaguely disappointed it was gone. She looked over at Lucifer before covering her mouth. "Ah fuck- did I get ice cream on your suit?" Lucifer blinked, looking down at himself. "Am I gonna die for this?"

"What? No. Why would I kill you for..." There was a small stain on his lapel, but it was black, it almost looked more like a burn than a stain. Lucifer rubbed at it with his gloved thumb before realizing that same burned looking stain was on his index finger- it was just much harder to see on the black glove fabric. "What the...?"

Adam.

The realization hit him like a bucket of cold water. Adam's blood. He had gotten it on his glove, wiped it on his lapel... but Adam's blood was gold. He distinctly remembered the color. But now it was...

Fuck.

Lucifer ripped off his gloves revealing the blackened clawed hands underneath. He tore his jacket off too, burning the items in unholy fire. Jazeerael and Jezebel both jumped back at his sudden movements. "What are you doing?" Jazeerael sounded quite concerned as they watched Lucifer's white tailcoat as it was devoured by the flames, reduced to smolders that Lucifer gathered in a small jar.

"Are you having some kind of senior moment?" Jezebel just seemed more alarmed than anything else. "Cause what the actual hell?"

"And can you not use magic like that in front of the human souls? It makes them anxious." Jazeerael added as an afterthought.

"I need to go to the Archives." Lucifer ignored them both. "Right now. Am I understood?" The severity in his tone must have shaken them because both of the residents of Purgatory nodded.

"Yes sir. This way." Shockingly, it was Jazeerael who took the lead. The Archives were a unique gathering of scrolls and research from both Heaven and Hell that only covered the most important topics. It was like a library, but only for the top Elite. Lucifer and his family were about the only ones who qualified for such knowledge in Hell, and he would be damned sure Heaven would hear about it when he did access any of their research. So, it was for the best he move fast. There was also the horrible realization dawning upon him that Charlie was alone with Adam and if what he thought might be happening was true- she was in grave danger.

He needed to get home.

He burst into the Archive, going right for the scrolls he knew he would need. They were old- ancient even. He remembered them from when he still lived upstairs. These predated his Fall and should in theory be obsolete.

"You have to sign those out..." Jazeerael watched him for a moment before intervening. Lucifer looked at him in silence, but his expression must have screamed every threat in his mind because Jazeerael held up both of his hands. "I'm not saying you can't use them; we just need a signature! It's not my rule! It's Uriel's."

Uriel, of fucking course. One of the Big Four- the Archangels. This whole Archive probably belonged to her. Hoarding all the knowledge to herself. "I'll sign whatever you want, just give me the fucking scrolls."

"Ooooooo, you got him big mad, Jayce." Jezebel had followed them inside, observing Jazeerael as he scrambled to pull up the paperwork. Her reaction wasn't surprising. The two had always acted more like siblings than coworkers. Despite their age, they constantly bickered like children.

"I'm just following protocol." Jazeerael looked rather nervous as he fumbled with a long sheet of ancient-looking paper. "Here, just sign this..." Lucifer took the pen, signing under the most recent name on file. "Here's your copy." Jazeerael rested the paper in between some of the scrolls in his hand. "Those are due back in two weeks please do try and remember."

"Yeah yeah-" Lucifer cut off as he heard his phone in his pocket. He shifted the scrolls to one arm as he saw Charlie's name. "Char-Char! Hey crabapple, you're um... you're not near him, right?"

"Dad!" Charlie sounded stressed. Lucifer's heart sank. "He's um... he's awake. But he's... He's really not himself."

"I'm on my way. Stay away from him." Lucifer was already halfway out of the door. "I will be home very soon."

"Dad I-"

"I'm dead serious Charlie, don't let anyone near him. Is he talking?"

"N-no. He hasn't said any words. How close are you."

"Very." Lucifer put all his energy into his flight as he took off across the bright blue sky of Purgatory back toward the entrance to Hell. "You just have to hang on a little longer. Where are you?"

"Downstairs."

"And he's still upstairs?"

"Yeah..." Relief washed over him, at least she wasn't close by. "Do you know what's going on yet? Where are you?"

"I am almost home; I didn't get as much as I wanted, but I have a solid idea of where to start." He didn't want to be right- not about this (and for the sin of Pride who loved to be right about things, that was rare). He also didn't want to explain the whole situation to Charlie in case he was wrong. She didn't need to worry about things that were settled long ago.

"None of those are answers." Charlie sounded even more upset.

"I was in Port Gato- I mean, Purgatory." Damn it, now they had Lucifer making that stupid pun. "Just picking up a few things. But as for what's happening, I still don't have a solid answer, Apple bloom." He was absolutely speeding toward the exit as fast as he could go.

"Purgatory? That place we used to vacation when I was little? How is that supposed to help?"

"It really didn't, not as much as I wanted." Lucifer had reached the wall and pressed his hand to the hidden panel. He felt the door shift open and he darted through. "I'm almost home. Stay on the line."

"Okay dad."

Hell was back in an instant, the sour odor and stagnant heat hit him in a putrid burst. Normally he'd complain- but his brain was only focused on getting to the hotel. He quickly used his magic to send the scrolls directly to his house- no need to explain those to Charlie. Not yet. His six wings were almost buzzing with how quickly they moved, his horns were out again, his tail lying flat to increase his aerodynamics. He could see the bright and cheery hotel sign in the distance, and he made a dive toward the door. "I can see the hotel."

"I can open the door for you." The door swung open, and Lucifer swooped through, seeing Charlie and Vaggie downstairs with the other Sinners, most of whom were still dressed nicely. Charlie blinked seeing him in all his blazing glory, as she simply hung up the phone. "Dad you're back!"

"Where is he. Did he touch you? Cut you? Bite you? Did you get blood on you? Any of you?" He grabbed Charlie by her arms looking her up and down. She did seem fine.

"No, Alastor and Cain have been the only ones close to him." Lucifer felt that icy feeling hit him again. Alastor.

Fuck.

He really should have specified that Alastor in particular should be nowhere near Adam. Then again, so much was happening all at once he didn't think about it.

"I am going to deal with this. Stay down here, keep the others safe, okay?" He pulled Charlie down so he could kiss her forehead. "I will be right back."

"Hurry." She gave him a small hug. "I do want an explanation though. You're not off the hook."

"I will, once I have one." He let her go and carefully ventured up the stairs. The door to the room he had left Adam in was closed, he could see Alastor's magic seeping out from under the door. Lucifer's stomach churned as he knocked on the door. "It's Lucifer. Let me in."

The door swung open, and he saw Alastor and Cain standing back on opposite sides of the room, Adam was in the middle, his arms strung up with the dark tentacles of Alastor's magic, his legs trapped in the solid stone of Cain's. "Not a moment too fucking soon." Cain was focused, clearly trying to keep Adam in place. Adam himself looked... feral... his eyes were wild, his teeth were bared like some sort of rabid animal. (Though Lucifer could only see teeth on the white side of Adam's body, on the silhouetted side his mouth glowed too brightly to see if he had teeth or not.) Golden blood was dripping out of his mouth. Lucifer noticed something new, as well. It looked like Adam still had his wings. He hadn't seen them before- but now they were flared out, the white one caught in stone. The black one still beating about freely.

"Has he said anything?" Lucifer made eye contact with Adam. The golden pupil in the black eye was blazing like a golden fire, the white eye seemed to have a strange shine to it. As Lucifer moved, he could tell Adam was watching him.

"Mostly just Aaaarg, if I'm being honest here. But historically speaking, the man has never been much for conversation." Good to know Alastor found this whole thing fucking funny.

"Did he get blood on either of you? Or bite you or something?" Lucifer looked between the two Overlords.

"Nah, we got him strung up pretty quick. Good thing boombox over here was close by cause he is a slippery sunnovabitch."

"Radio."

"Who's a ho?" Cain looked over for a moment, but Adam let out an almost other worldly sounding shriek that made Lucifer and Cain stumble back for a second. That in and of itself was almost confirmation enough for Lucifer.

"Fuck." Lucifer held his head for a moment before he finally started to make a move toward Adam. "If either of you let him go right now, I will kill both of you on principle. Then I will bring you back. Then I will kill you both again." He hated having to put his faith in anyone- but he assumed Alastor wasn't stupid enough to let Adam go when it would be entirely obvious to everyone who was at fault if Lucifer got attacked. And Lucifer knew that he could take Adam down himself if it came to that. Still, he would like to avoid the hassle so hopefully Alastor and Cain kept him held.

"That seems unfair."

"I think it sounds perfectly fair." .

Adam shrieked again and this time some of the rocks at his feet looked as if they were beginning to crumble. Lucifer had to move quickly. He summoned up an apple, it was the first thing he thought of; it didn't matter what it was, exactly, so long as it was made with his strongest magic. "You're not going to like this, Adam." Lucifer stepped closer. Adam was watching him like a predator, he snarled as Lucifer drew close. "None of that, stop." Adam made an attempt to bite him, wrestling with all his might against his restraints.

"He's really making it hard to hold him." Cain's voice sounded strained. The black wing was beating hard, Adam was tugging violently against the rocks and tentacles of shadow. He screamed again as Lucifer got too close. Flecks of that golden blood splattered on his vest. Great now he was going to have to burn that too.

"Don't do that." Lucifer had to move quickly, he grabbed Adam by the hair. Strands of black and white interlaced in Lucifer's claws. Adam tried again to bite him, but Lucifer jerked his head back by the hair. "No. You don't bite me." He held the apple in his other hand. "You bite this." He held the apple to Adam's mouth. Adam snarled at him again, trying to struggle free. "Come on fucker, you know you want to scream again." Lucifer had no idea if Adam could even understand him at this point. Adam craned his head at an unnatural angle, trying to get to Lucifer's hand around the apple. As he attempted to take a bite out of Lucifer's fingers, the devil was able to shove the apple in his mouth. (He had almost gotten Lucifer's index finger, he had not expected Adam's head to bend that way.) Adam's teeth sliced through the apple as if it were butter. Lucifer quickly dropped what was left and used his other hand to hold Adam's mouth shut. Adam was fighting against him, trying to spit out what he had accidentally bitten. "What's wrong dickhead? Bite off more than you can chew?" Adam was desperately trying to spit out the fruit, but Lucifer had his jaw shut tight.

"Is an apple really going to fix this?" Cain seemed uncertain about Lucifer's methods as Adam thrashed violently, trying to dislodge Lucifer from his head.

"Give it a second." Lucifer forced his head up and he watched as Adam, despite his best efforts to the contrary, swallowed the bite he had taken. "You are not going to like what happens next." Lucifer released Adam's head and took several steps back. "Keep him held but keep your distance."

"Oh look at that, we're getting a show!"

"Is he gonna like, explode or something? Was it poisoned?"

"Why would poison make someone explode?" Lucifer had to turn to look back at Cain. Adam let out another scream, but it got cut off, becoming garbled. "Come on, just do it." Lucifer kept his distance as Adam's thrashing became worse, almost more like seizing. His head jerked backward, then forward and Adam started to vomit up a viscous black liquid onto Charlie's nice clean floor. Lucifer would really need to apologize to his daughter later.

"Oh fucking gross." Cain recoiled away.

"Didn't you bash your brother's head in with a rock? Is this really too much for you?"

"Abel had it coming, and he also didn't puke everywhere."

"Don't touch it, this whole room needs to be burned." Lucifer kept them both back. Adam was still heaving his guts out on the ground, making quite the mess. Finally, it started to slow down, until Adam was just coughing and gasping, head limp on his shoulders. "Adam?" Lucifer kept his voice calm. "Adam, can you hear me?"

Adam made a coughing sound again, slowly, he lifted his head, squinting at Lucifer before him. "...M..." he looked disoriented, "Mic-"

"It's me, dumbass." Lucifer cut him off.

"...Luciael...?"

"He's disoriented." Lucifer explained quickly before Alastor or Cain could make a comment. "Give it time..."

"...wait..." Adam's black and gold eye flickered for a moment before finally glowing steadily. "Where the fuck am I!?" He reeled back only to realize he was trapped. He looked at Lucifer, his expression changing to anger. "The fuck do you want, you baked-bean shaped sack of dicks?"

Lucifer put his face in his hand. "I already miss you being catatonic."

Chapter Text

"Three."

The lights dimmed, casting the room in darkness only broken up by the dim floor lighting and the gentle glow of various the devices that lined the room.

"Two."

The subtle sounds of movement were heard as everyone shifted into place. Everything had to be perfect.

"One."

He would settle for nothing less.

"And we're live!"

"Good evening Hell, and welcome to our exclusive interview with none other than everyone's favorite Overlord: the big man himself, Vox!" Katie had nailed the introduction, she always did. She was a professional, after all- one of Vox's best anchors on staff.

"Happy to be here, Katie." He relaxed back in his chair, completely at ease with all of Hell watching him. He took a sip from his mug, locking eyes with the Sinner on the other side of the table. "It's always good to talk with Hell's most reliable news network."

"And we are just thrilled to have you!" Her smile widened. Not too wide, but enough for the sell.

"Th-" Tom started to speak from the seat beside Katie, but she kicked the chair with her foot, and it rolled out of the frame with a crash.

"Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to be here with us!" Katie finished Tom's line for him. She was always a bit of a diva, but their constant fighting was great for ratings. (In fact, the two were married just for the ratings. Killjoy and Trench: affairs, violence, and more drama than you can handle- it was great for Vox's celebrity drama show.)

"I always have time for the people. VoxTek cares, that's why you can put your trust in us!" The audience clapped on cue and Vox waved his hand as if embarrassed by the appreciation. "Thank you, thank you all, you're too kind." It was literally the least they could do. In fact, a few audience members seemed to be slacking on their enthusiasm. He might need to speak with Katie about that later.

"So, Vox," the applause quelled on cue. "With the last Extermination taking a rather surprising turn, what are your thoughts on the future between Heaven and Hell?" A perfectly curated question, no surprises. This was exactly what he needed after his afternoon. Having Alastor destroy his perfectly functioning drones was already enough of a hassle to last him a lifetime. The man had no respect for progress.

"I'm so glad you asked Katie," he took an easy stance, crossing one leg over the other. "Thanks to the VoxTek cameras, we were able to monitor all aspects of the battlefield. Our panel of analysts have been able to study the footage, over and over again to learn the subtle nuances of angelic fighting techniques." They also had the part where Alastor got his ass handed to him saved on multiple files, it was currently Vox's screensaver. "This is so our upcoming Angelic Security provides the most protection to you our beloved customers. That is why you can trust us with your safety." Smile, wink at the camera, use the trademarked line, this all came so naturally to him. Vox was more at home on the camera than he was off of it. That was why it had been so easy for him to establish a monopoly on the visual media of Hell. It was always important to control what was seen, image was everything.

"Amazing Vox!" Katie delivered her winning smile right into the camera. Her expression went serious as she looked back toward him. Right on cue. "And do you think another Extermination is coming?" Perfect. He brought up the product, now it was time to build the need- to rile the masses up.

"Of course I do. The Princess and her friend challenged Heaven directly. The Exterminations were bad before but think of what is going to happen now that we've fought back. I've talked to my good friend, King Morningstar, and he's telling me that- oops." A tactful sip from his mug, eyes flickering directly to the camera. He shifted in his seat. "Perhaps I'm saying too much." His smile widened a bit as he heard the nervous stirring in the crowd. Of course he hadn't actually talked to Lucifer. He barely knew the guy. Even before he had become a recluse, Vox dealt mostly with Lillith. She had been the voice that commanded Hell. Lucifer was... a hands-off kind of guy. That was respectable, for what it was. He could be as hands off as he wanted, it left room for Vox to step in.

"Ooooo, some special insider knowledge!" Katie covered her mouth with her hand. By this point, Tom had crawled his way back, dragging his chair with him. "Well, with all this unique insight, I certainly Trust VoxTek with my security needs. What about you, Tom?"

"Well, I-" Tom began to speak but Katie kicked his chair back again.

"Nobody gives a flying fuck! That's all the time we have today! Vox is a very busy Overlord, and he has so much more to do to keep us safe, happy, and on our way to a brighter future."

"A brighter future indeed, Katie. That's why you can trust us with everything you need." He delivered the slogan directly into the camera with a winning smile. A perfect interview to fix a crappy day. This was the sort of win he needed.

"Thank you again, Vox."

"You're welcome, Katie."

"And we've cut to commercials." The cameraman gave the signal and instantly Katie's smile dropped, she lit a cigarette, relaxing in her chair.

"Thank fuck." She looked over at Vox. Her demeanor changed to a more professional one, her back straight, legs crossed. "I hope that was up to your standards."

"Perfect. You'll see the results reflected in your paycheck." He knew she wouldn't be too abrasive with him. He was her boss after all. Katie would do anything to climb that corporate ladder so to him, she was a charming, friendly Sinner working desperately to maintain her relevance as VoxTek continued to evolve.

"You didn't let me do any of my lines!" Tom protested, fixing his hair and dusting off his suit. "I had half of those!"

"No one watches this station to stare at your shitty face, I promise." Katie didn't even turn to look at him. Tom scrambled to catch up to Vox who was already on his way out. (Katie was telling the truth in her news cast-for once- Vox was an incredibly busy man.)

"Vox, sir, you can't honestly think this is acceptable. I am just as important to the station as Katie!"

"People love the conflict between you two. So yes, you are important. You getting your ass handed to you is great for ratings. And ratings are..." Vox trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence for Tom.

"Ratings are all that matters!" He sounded newly invigorated. Perhaps he hadn't realized how much their bickering kept them relevant. Or maybe he just needed some reminding.

"Exactly! Now get back to work." Vox waved him away. They both had other things to be doing and in order to assure the highest ratings Tom and Katie would need to be on screen. Their bickering turned to violence, and that violence kept the Sinners and Hellborns tuning back in.

He took his leave of the news station. He had no more business there, at this point he was just wasting time. He smiled, waving to the adoring public as he stepped outside. It was hard maintaining an image of perfection, but after Alastor's absence, Vox had found his climb to the top to be far easier. Of course, Alastor was back now (just remembering it put the Overlord in a sour mood) but that didn't matter. Vox had been growing in power while Alastor sat passively in the shadows... being... mysterious or whatever it was that that antlered freak did for fun.

"Vox! Did you really hear from Lucifer that Heaven is planning a retaliation?" There was a slew of reporters out front. Most were his plants, but there were one or two 'independent Jounalists' (mostly Hellborns) that wanted 'the truth'. It was obnoxious, to say the least. The truth was what Vox said it was. Nothing more, nothing less, and the sooner everyone realized that the better. The Vees had a near monopoly on the media (minus radio, of course, but no one listened to that old-timey shit), so Vox's word tended to spread far and fast.

"I'm not at liberty to say." He brought his finger against his screen to his lips. "But if I were you, I would be saving up for VoxTek Angelic Security once it gets released. And just a quick warning," he chuckled, putting both hands behind his back, giving his most charming smile to the captive audience, "it will be expensive."

"How expensive?" Another reporter asked.

"Still in the works, but you can't put a price on your safety, and we want only the highest quality technology protecting our customers. I wouldn't release anything I wouldn't use myself. That's how you know you can trust us with something so important as your very lives." Were those lives important? That varied depending on the Sinner and their respective contributions. But that was more of an insider knowledge sort of fact. It wasn't for the public.

"What do you think of DamnWay and their Anti-Angel Oil? Are you concerned about any competition?" It seemed the reporters were out in abundance today. There had been an absolutely massive event recently, he supposed, so it wasn't surprising, but it was a bit annoying.

"DamnWay is great if you're looking for hair care or kitchen aids, but we're talking about a matter of public safety." It took every fiber of Vox's being to not roll his eyes at the suggestion. "That is something that requires, finesse, innovation! Mary-Lu hasn't been here as long as I have." He had no idea how long she had been around, but no longer than Velvette from what he could tell. "When lives are on the line, experience matters. And no offense to Mary-Lu, but if an angel is close enough to smell an oil or however that's supposed to work- they're too fucking close for comfort. Am I right?" He laughed and his plants in the crowd began laughing as well, causing the outside reporters to laugh as a part of the crowd mentality. Worked every time. "Now I'm afraid that's all the time for questions I have today! I really must get back to work."

"Wait! Do you know when the security might be-"

"That's all the time we have." Vox's voice shifted, becoming more synthetic as he opened his left eye a little wider, the eye creating a spiral, spinning and reflecting into every eye that watched him. Ugh, it was tiring to use the ability- and it didn't work on everyone. Fortunately, most everyone in Pentagram City was a fucking idiot and therefore Vox could push their actions with the power of suggestion. Due to the energy it cost and the restrictions on who was affected, Vox didn't use this power constantly (he didn't have to, his natural charisma still carried him far). But on occasions, when he needed people to listen, he didn't mind controlling the situation. The swarm of reporters stared back, slack-jawed, eyes wide. "Thank you everyone and have a spectacular day!" And with that, Vox vanished in a bolt of electricity.

The benefit of his unique Sinner form was that Vox could travel through the television. Selling more TVs, thus, gave him nearly free reign of Hell. Very few beings had the power to keep his eyes out of their homes. And why would they want to? Knowing everything about everyone was the business of VoxTek. How could they sell perfectly curated products if they didn't have intimate knowledge of every conversation people had? It was really for their own good that Vox listened in. He made life easier, and sure that came at a price- but in his experience it was a price people were more than willing to pay.

He reappeared in his office, around him various screens displayed the Hellscape outside from the eyes of various drones that surveyed his domain. It was important to have eyes everywhere. Vox was a man who liked to be kept in the loop. When things went down in Hell, he had to be there to capitalize on them. VoxTek was a trusted name in Hell, and he had struggled endlessly to establish it as such. Had it become a point of obsession? Probably. But here the obsession was a survival mechanism. And it wasn't enough for Vox to survive he needed to thrive.

There was nothing of interest that seemed to be happening in Hell at the moment. Petty fights here and there, a few underlings scheming against their respective Overlords, but that was nothing new. (And they weren't his underlings, so it wasn't important. His workers would never be so bold as to think they could take on a corporation as massive as VoxTek.) His last time watching the screens had gotten him into a fight with Alastor, so he needed a palate cleanser. Watching some Hellish drama could do wonders for detoxing the mind.

Not his own trash TV shows, of course. He knew how all those ended. But he found that real life could truly be better than fiction (and could often inspire ideas for future projects). Before he got completely settled, he made himself a fresh cup of high-quality coffee (not the shit from the news station) and relaxed into his seat. He had done a lot today; he had earned a little break.

The wires connected into the back of his head, his screen flickering as all the information around him spilled directly into his mind. Nothing like some unbridled chaos to really get the creative juices flowing. Flights, breakups, robberies, homicides, scheming, scamming- it was an array of sights and sounds. Some of these would be great twists in Vox's many soap operas and reality TV shows (which were really just soap operas with different marketing).

He was in an almost meditative state as he made the affairs of Hell his business. However, there was a small staticky sound coming from one of the many monitors he was watching. Almost as if the signal were weakening, he would have missed it entirely if it hadn't been accompanied by a twinge of pain. Vox winced, forced to come back to his own reality as he disconnected the cables. This wasn't the first time this had happened, it was far from a frequent occurrence, but once in a while, one of Vox's stations would pick up on some sort of interference. It never lasted more than a second, but it always seemed to leave him with a bit of a headache.

He planned to blame Alastor for it, though he had no idea if he was involved or not. (Honestly, he doubted that motherfucker was really smart enough to know shit about television, so it probably wasn't him. But he was easy to blame, as he had such a blame-able face.)

"Look who's finally back to the real world with the rest of us."

Vox blinked for a moment; he had been so engrossed in his little watch party for one that he hadn't realized Velvette had come into his office. He shook himself, smile returning to his face. "Ah, good afternoon, Velvette, my dear."

"It's evening." She never was much for pleasantries. More recent Sinners had a toxic trait where they lacked any sense of cordiality. Yes, it was superficial and fake, but at least it gave the illusion of caring and that was an illusion VoxTek valued.

"Why, yes, it is! What can I do for you this fine evening?"

"This whole Angelic Security bullshit, am I going to have to dress my models up in fucking Exorcist costumes to advertise this? Because that sounds like a fucking PR nightmare." At least Velvette understood the image they were projecting. She had a point, one poorly cropped picture of a big-name model in an Exorcist outfit could look terrible.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, the security system is still in its early stages. I am sure we can rope unwittingly Sinners that aren't connected to us to model for it when the time comes."

"Shouldn't you be hurrying on that since your good pal, " she put the words in air quotes, "Lucifer, is predicting an oncoming onslaught of biblical proportion?"

"Oh please, you know I made that up." Vox scoffed. He didn't know why, but he was in a much poorer mood than before. He thought that interview had lifted his spirits, but maybe the stink of Alastor had just soured his whole fucking day. "I may not be friends with him, but I do keep a careful surveillance over his house from a safe distance. So, while we aren't friends necessarily, I do still learn from him."

"What do you learn?" Velvette took a seat on the edge of Vox's desk as he came to the realization his alone time was now over.

"Mostly that he has no life. I couldn't even watch him when Lillith was around. So, once she left, I thought: this will be great! I can get insight into the royal family! But honestly? He never leaves the house and pretty much the only one who goes in and out is some Hellborn who occasionally shoots out my drones if I get too close. I think he's on security."

"You think the King would have more security than just some random Hellborn." Velvette examined her nails for a moment before looking at the screen. "Who's that banging on the door then?" Vox looked up to see a stony, gray Sinner pounding on the mansion entrance. "That's Cain, he goes over sometimes. Not frequently, but he's about the only Sinner I have seen go in and out."

"Who the fuck is Cain? You say that like I should know." Velvette gave him an annoyed look.

"Cain, you know: Cain Organics? The guy who oversees all our fucking food? He's been down here since like the beginning of time or some shit. I know he's older than dirt."

"Oh, that's the food guy. Never seen him before. I thought he'd look more... plant like- less... gargoyle. Is he like... Cain, Cain? Like the guy from the old stories?" She tilted her head examining the figure on screen.

"I have always been under the impression that it was." Vox wasn't one hundred percent sure one way or the other. It wasn't like he had really had the chance to ask him in their brief interaction. Velvette seemed content with his reply as she looked at the screen in front of her.

"You know what? Not a bad ass on him."

"I mean, I've only met him once when Katie wanted to do an exposé on him. It was a fucking nightmare to even meet with him to ask for an interview and he shot us right down like a fucking prick. It's like he has no respect for the media." Vox took a sip from his coffee cup, it had already cooled, which was irritating. He saw Cain physically kick the door in, must be one if the benefits of being made of stone to be able to be a human battering ram. The doors shut again, leaving Vox staring at the closed, white, decorative doorway. "However, I guess you are right about his ass," he had gotten a pretty good look when Cain raised his leg to kick, "it's not bad."

"If you're talking about Cain from Cain Organics," Vox could hear Val's voice shouting from the distance, "his ass is a solid seven on a good day!"

"How did he even hear us?" Vox looked at Velvette who rolled her eyes.

"Talk about asses and you'll fucking summon him."

"Have you even met Cain!?" Vox shouted back. He was almost positive that of the three of them, he was the only one who had. He couldn't imagine a recluse like that would ever have needed Val's services.

"I know the ranking of every ass in Hell. It's a gift!" He shouted back from the other room. Velvette looked Vox dead in the eyes.

"This is a fucking set up, he's building this all up just so he can say that he has the best ass and we fucking fell for it."

"Fuck you're right." Before Vox could say anything else, he heard Val shout again:

"The number one ass in all of Hell is my own, of course~ That's how I make the big bucks~"

Both Vox and Velvette sighed in unison. Vox knew better than to take the bait, but he would blame the beginnings of a headache that were trying to take hold of him.

"Do you actually want to come in here and be a part of the conversation!? Or are we just going to keep shouting!?" Vox really didn't enjoy the yelling, especially right now.

"Keep yelling! I am already settled on the couch and I'm comfy!" Val's voice called back. Vox winced, rubbing the screen between his eyes. The shouting was really grating on him. Velvette must have noticed something in his expression because she was giving him a look.

"What..." Vox stared right back at her.

"Were you busy when I came in? I spoke to you a few times, but you said nothing."

"Maybe I was just ignoring you." He wasn't. He hadn't heard a fucking thing. His fingers drummed on the desk as he dealt with that aggravation welling up inside him. While he didn't particularly enjoy interruptions, Velvette hadn't necessarily done anything wrong.

"Wow, okay bitch." She crossed her legs. "Let's see how you like being put on ignore."

"You can't ignore me with a Vox Phone, it's actually impossible." Vox smirked at her. "Benefit of making them."

"Whatever, prick." Velvette rolled her eyes. "I would threaten to withdraw my support from the Vee's for your piss-poor attitude, but judging by the fact you look like utter shit right now, I am going to assume you're just lashing out because you ran into Alastor and now your day drinking again."

"It's evening." Vox reminded her of her own snide quip from earlier. "And this is coffee." He showed her the mug as if that proved anything. "And while I did have to interact with that fuck head, it was much earlier, and I didn't start drinking afterwards because I had actual important shit to do, and he was running errands like a fucking peasant." Velvette put a hand to Vox's back, patting him gently.

"Awwww, you're pissed he's still alive, aren't you?" She gently rubbed his back as Vox let out a sad little sigh.

"Yeeeeessssss..." he let his monitor shaped head flop onto Velvette for a moment. "It's not fair that fucking Exorcist leader should have slaughtered him, but he ran away like a fucking pussy, and he still has the balls to act all high and mighty about having been in the fight at all." The complaints began spilling out all at once. "And also, I have a headache."

"I'm surprised you can get headaches." She flicked the side of the monitor, "given you don't really have a head."

"I have a head." Vox lifted his head off of Velvette to give her an annoyed glare. "The monitor is my head. I still eat and drink with it. Just because it's not a traditional shape doesn't mean it's not my head and that I can't get the occasional headache."

"But you weren't day drinking?" Velvette raised an eyebrow.

"If Alastor is involved, he was probably day drinking!" Val's voice called from the other room. Damn that fucker had some good ass hearing when he wanted to. He was easily fifteen feet away with only a cracked office door to allow sound through, but he was picking up on every bit of the conversation. Whereas when Vox actually needed to talk to him about important branding opportunities, suddenly Val couldn't hear shit.

"Either be in the room and be a proper part of the conversation, or stay the fuck out of it, Val!" Vox really was on a short fuse today. "And for the last time, I haven't been drinking." Not for lack of desire, of course. But he needed to be at his best for the interview. Rigged or not, he was not taking any risks with VoxTek. "If you must know, I heard some of that annoying feedback again while I was plugged in."

"Maybe you just stood too close to the microphone!" Val shouted his suggestion and Vox cringed.

"That's not how it works, and you know it!"

"Feedback?" Velvette relaxed back a bit. "First I'm hearing of it."

"It isn't super frequent, but over the last few years sometimes my signals will get a little distorted and I'll get a second of unpleasant feedback. Usually I don't even notice it, but this time I was plugged in directly and it was so, so much worse."

"Because plugging in is definitely something that can be done with a regular human head." Velvette mused. Vox gave her a dirty look.

"This is my head. We have had this conversation many times."

"Maybe some of your technology is just wearing out! Maybe that's why you're getting feedback, it's old, just like you!" Val called helpfully. Vox put his head face down on the table. Why did he even bother?

"Oh look, mister Solid Seven Ass is on the move. And he's not alone." Velvette's comment drew Vox's attention back to the screen. Vox might have commented on her use of nicknames to a fellow Overlord but given how he was fairly certain Cain didn't know his name, he didn't feel all that obligated to defend him. Sure enough, Cain was walking outside, escorted by none other than the Devil himself. Making an appearance twice in so many days was unheard of for the petite, pale king. It was made all the more interesting by the fact that Lucifer transformed into a serpent to linger on Cain's shoulders. So, they didn't want to draw any attention.

"Well, isn't that intriguing... where are those two off to at this hour?" Vox leaned forward, watching the screen, bringing his cup to his lips.

"Maybe they're heading somewhere to go fuck!" Val's commentary was still far from helpful. Fucker couldn't even see the goddamn screen.

"Why would they leave the house to go fuck!? They can fuck indoors!" Vox didn't really know why he was humoring Val at this point. Though that would make a spicy story to spread... people loved when Lucifer himself was involved in scandal. He could put the idea away for later.

"Don't kink-shame!" Val shouted back.

"JUST COME IN HERE IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE CONVERSATION VAL, I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING DEVIL HIMSELF!" Vox screamed the rebuttal so loudly that Velvette nearly fell off the table.

"No thanks! Too comfy!" Was all the reply he got. With support like this, it was a fucking wonder anything got done. Vox let out a sigh that was almost more of a quiet, frustrated scream as he turned back to the screen.

"Now where are those two headed?" Vox carefully maneuvered the drone to keep its distance until he was able to look at the next one. It was easy to map his path, it wasn't like Vox hadn't used his extensive spy network to follow people before. Hell, that's what it was there for!

"You think this might be actually like... important?" Velvette scooted closer to get a better look at the screen. "Val's stupidity aside, this is the King and the son of the fucker who killed us all. That seems a bit sus if you ask me." Vox's eyes widened a bit as the realization sunk in. Velvette had a point, a good one.

"Fuck, is it?" Vox tried to get a better view of the two. They were clearly arguing about something. There was a lot of background noise, so it was difficult to isolate Cain in particular. Lip reading was right out considering Cain constantly looked in different directions and Lucifer was a snake and didn't really have lips to read. "Where are you two going...?" They were winding through the crowd with purpose. This wasn't just some casual stroll. Vox could tell from Cain's body language that there was a specific destination in mind.

"Wait... I know where they're going..." Velvette leaned a little closer to the screen. "Fuck, those bitches are going to visit that old hag Carmilla! This is where I had to go because I drew the fucking short straw last time there was a meeting."

"Ah yes, I was told by Carmilla the meeting lasted all of five minutes, two of which were occupied by you singing a very catchy number in which you," Vox pulled his phone out to read Carmilla's text so he wouldn't leave anything out, "told her you thought she was hiding something, called Zestiel old, and told them both to get fucked." He looked back at Velvette who looked quite pleased with herself, before looking back at his phone. "You also threw a severed angel head directly at her."

"Damn straight, you should have seen the look on her wrinkled old face when I lobbed that bloody thing onto the table. Fucking speechless." She laughed, kicking her feet up playfully.

"That was a very important piece of evidence that was supposed to invoke a discussion about the future of the Exterminations." Vox looked back up from his phone. "It was not a way for you to sing an entire song calling the other Overlords senile geezers, no matter how true it is or how catchy the song was."

"It was pretty fucking catchy." Velvette protested. "And they were being paranoid pricks, so like, what was I supposed to do? They weren't going to step up and do anything unless I lit the fire underneath their wrinkly asses."

"Clearly, they are going to do something." Vox gestured to the screen where Cain was being led back by one of Carmilla's daughters. Great. Fucking fantastic. Now those two were completely out of Vox's reach. Carmilla was too damn sly to let Vox eavesdrop. "But now we're not invited to the meeting- probably because you burned a lot of bridges with that whole display. I understand that Carmilla, in particular, can be fucking frustrating as all get out. But you have to play the long game if you want to stay in the loop." Velvette glared at him.

"You thought it was pretty fucking hilarious when I told you about it right after it happened." She huffed. To be fair, Vox had gotten onto her a bit right after it had happened, but it was through laughter as he had to envision everyone just staring as Velvette completely derailed a meeting.

"Yes, but that was before I saw the King and fucking Cain going to some secret Overlord meeting without us."

"Why are you pissed? Cain doesn't go to those things at all. If you want to go to the super-secret club meeting so badly, then why don't you call up your best friend Lucifer and ask for an invite." Velvette met Vox's annoyed stare with a smarmy smirk of her own. "Oopsie~ Forgot you made that up."

"No, you didn't." Vox tapped his fingers against the desk again, making the drones circle Carmilla's building from a safe distance. He hated being on the outside like this. Not knowing something drove him fucking crazy. He made a living off of being on the inside. It was his business to know the business of everyone else.

Vox waited, and waited, and waited some more- his eyes never leaving the screens that displayed Carmilla's office building. If Lucifer left- even if he was as small as a bug, Vox would fucking see it. Velvette was on her phone, ignoring him after his outburst had clearly pissed her off. Vox's headache didn't feel any better either, which was only putting him in a worse mood.

One of the images flickered. Vox instantly was focused on that screen. He ran diagnostics on the drone in question. Nothing was wrong. Then why was it-

Before Vox could even finish his thought, the rest of the cameras began to flicker as if the feed was being interrupted. Not just the ones watching Carmilla's place either. All across the feed there was a brief little glitch. That horrible little feedback sound resonated for a split second, and everything was back to normal.

"Woah..." Velvette blinked, looking at the screens uncertainly. "The fuck was that? Was someone trying to screw over our signal?"

"Maybe Carmilla was onto us? Used some sort of jammer." Vox didn't know if that was even something Carmilla had access to, but he wouldn't put it past her. He knew she didn't approve of his constant surveillance. (Which was why he never asked). Great. Now he would need to work on ways for his tech to resist... whatever the fuck that was- and on top of all this shit- his headache was even worse.

"Oh, that's fucking rude." At least Velvette was on his side. "Oh look!" She grabbed Vox's shoulder. He was about to protest, given the fact that he was starting to get a migraine- but Velvette pointed to a figure on the screen that briefly made him forget all about the pain he was feeling.

"Where are you going, fucker?" Vox's eyes widened as he saw Lucifer, fully transformed, wings out- taking to the sky like a damn rocket. Vox was on him in a moment, following him through his extensive network of cameras- it looked like he was on his way back to the mansion- no more Cain. Where the fuck had he gone? Maybe Lucifer ditched him. He supposed it wasn't that important. Cain was definitely not as important of a target. Lucifer's trajectory seemed to change quite suddenly and he B-lined toward that fucking hotel.

"What's gotten into him?" Velvette, too, was intrigued by the sudden change. They both watched as Lucifer landed on the ground only to start messing with a body laid out in front of the hotel. He hadn't been poking at it for too long before the Princess and her guard dog showed up. "Oh, what happened to her highness? She looks like shit." He could tell Velvette was amused.

"I'm going to try and get sound." This looked important, judging by the expressions on the royals' faces. Vox was not about to miss some big update to Hell. He had to keep his distance, for one thing that fucking radio tower caused interference if he got too close, for another- he knew Lucifer would destroy his drones on sight, and Alastor had taken out enough drones for one day.

"Please do, this looks juicy." Velvette kept her eye on the screen as Vox began trying to filter out the surrounding noise and isolate Lucifer's voice. "Ooo~ Cain just showed up and he looks piiiiiiiiiised~." At least Velvette was giving him the play-by-play. Vox got a bit of sound. It wasn't much and was cutting in and out quite violently- but it was more than he had started with.

"B-dy of - dead dad- who-" Cain was cutting out immensely but Vox was getting the gist of what he said. ", M-rdered so - S-ners." Vox squinted at the screen as he saw Lucifer and Cain seemingly arguing about the body at Cain's feet. Had the body moved? Did it wake up?

"Why is that body in a different spot? What'd I miss?" Vox looked at Velvette for answers. Fortunately, she had been paying attention.

"Lucifer tried to hand it to Cain, and Cain fucking dropped him."

"Oh damn, sad I missed that." Vox could always watch it on his own later. That was the good thing about recording everything. "The sound sucks, but... did you hear Cain say: dead dad?" That much had his attention.

"Yep..." Velvette was thoroughly invested. At least Vox knew that when the real shit began, he would have Velvette right there with him to analyze how best they could utilize this to their own advantage.

"Oh shit, that's Adam." Valentino's voice shocked both of the other Vees as neither had heard him make his entrance. "I would recognize that ass anywhere." He squinted at the screen, long cigarette spilling pink smoke into Vox's office.

"First of all," Vox had to take a deep breath to ready himself for the breakdown of Val's comment. "How can you tell? You can't see his ass. He's face up. AND ALSO," he turned around to look at Val directly. "You can never see his ass because he's wearing a fucking dress when he comes to slaughter us!"

"It's a robe." Val corrected.

"Yeah, it's very clearly a robe, Vox, what the fuck?" Velvette was on Val's side, but that didn't account for the fact that the fucking main point had been completely missed. Vox brought his hand to his face.

"I don't care what it is! You can't see his ass in it!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. All the yelling was just going to make his head feel worse. "Forget it. Moot point. We heard Cain say it was his dad. So clearly that is the very same Adam who murdered the fuck out of Sinners like us."

"That, and you can clearly still see the halo. It's broken, but it's definitely there." Val tapped the screen with the end of his cigarette (it made Vox cringe to see him treating his screens like that. Couldn't Val show just a little bit of respect to the merchandise?) Vox looked where Val was pointing, and sure enough there was something broken and circular over the head of the unconscious body on the ground.

"See? Why didn't you start with that point?" Vox sighed. "That makes sense. We didn't need any of this fucking ass-nonsense." He watched the screen as Lucifer picked up the body on the ground. It seemed like they were going into the hotel. "Why do you think he's out like that?"

"I don't think they know." Velvette replied, leaning back once again as Lucifer, the Princess, Cain, and the others vanished inside. "Though it's fucking hard to tell because the sound is bloody awful." Vox gave her a dirty look.

"You try getting quality sound with the fucking radio tower close by! AND without getting close enough for Lucifer to notice we're fucking spying on him and destroying my very expensive drones."

"Pretty sure they said he's not waking up any time soon." Velvette just ignored his rant. "So, I guess the hotel is just going to be housing the man who fucking murdered us all. That's a good look."

"Yeah, you know how many Sinners would love to get their hands on the guy who led the Exterminations?" Vox sat back in his chair, keeping all his cameras focused on the hotel in question. He wasn't sure what to do with this new information. Adam was here in Hell, and he seemed to be weak. So why were they hiding him away at the hotel rather than making him publicly pay for his crimes? "Wonder what Lucifer has planned for him? Sure, seems like he's trying to keep this under wraps."

"I'd imagine he would. This would be a publicity nightmare if it got out." Velvette tilted her head to the side. Vox saw the windows in one of the top rooms close one by one. At least he could hazard a guess as to which room they were in.

"You know how many Sinners would flip their shit if they knew that fucker was down here?" Vox laughed to himself. "After everything he's done?" His fingers drummed on the table again. An idea was starting to spark to life in his brain. "Actually..." he looked at Velvette who seemed to be reading his mind.

"You have been looking for a way to test that stupid Angelic Security you promised." He could see the glint of her fangs in the light of the television screen.

"Well, it's not stupid, it's profitable. If they live, it works, if they die: they can't ask for their money back. So, it's kind of a win-win." Vox was focused on the new idea that was buzzing in his brain, but at the same time he wasn't about to let Velvette shit on what was a very good idea. "Also, it looks to me like Lucifer is pretty anal about keeping this guy locked away. Do you know what sort of leverage we could have if we got our hands on him?" The idea had been pinging around his brain since he first saw the unconscious body on the ground. Every time he tried to push it down, it wormed its way back into the forefront of his mind.

"I mean..." Val looked at the screen uncertainly. "I suppose that is a pretty big bargaining chip. But I am not sure how we're supposed to actually get him with the big guy just... hovering around like an unwanted pest." One of the drones caught the image of a parakeet flying out of the hotel. The Vee's exchanged looks. "Do think that was him?" Val put one hand on his hip, the other on Vox's desk as he leaned forward.

"That's definitely him." Velvette nodded. "It even kind of looks like him."

"Not gonna lie," Vox shrugged his shoulders, "I was expecting something more intimidating. But I guess he has to be subtle."

"I don't think a parakeet is very fucking subtle. But go off." Velvette turned back to the screen. "We following it?"

"Are we following... hah!" Vox repeated her question with a laugh. "Do you know me at all, Vel? Of course we are." A drone kept a close (but not too close) eye on the bird as it sped upward toward the bright light of Heaven in the sky. "Where the fuck is he going?"

"Heaven?" Valentino squinted at the screen, pushing his heart shaped glasses further up. (Vox had no idea how those even stayed on his face, since Val had no fucking nose. But he had tried questioning it once and Val's explanation was lack luster at best. Which was why Vox didn't even try to tell him that pushing the glasses closer to his eyes would do absolutely fucking nothing to improve his vision because he was wearing tinted glasses in a dark room while trying to look at a screen. Some fights just weren't worth starting.)

"You can't go that high. There's some kind of forcefield." Vox put both hands on his cup, elbows on the table as he leaned forward. "I have tried to send drones to spy on Heaven but there's like a massive, invisible wall."

"There's a fucking what?" Velvette turned to look at him.

"Yeah, if you try to fly up to Heaven you eventually just hit some kind of solid surface. It's like we have our own skybox." Vox saw Velvette staring at him and he took an indignant sip of the cold coffee. "What? You know I had to try."

"I guess I'm just surprised you thought that would work." She replied flatly.

"What the fuck is a Skybox?" Val interjected. Vox sighed; they were getting woefully off topic again. The point was to follow Lucifer, not debate what composed Hell's sky.

"Forget about the Skybox, just know the sky isn't infinite. It's solid." As if proving Vox's point, the parakeet on the screen turned back into Lucifer who began to put his hands along the invisible solid ceiling that separated Hell from the paradise above it. Vox gestured to the screen. "See?"

"Wait so if there is like a ceiling, then are we technically always in doors?" Valentino had a point. Vox had to stop for a moment, watching as Lucifer seemed to be searching for something in the unseen boundary.

"Fuck... maybe? I don't think so. I mean..." Vox had to think about it for a moment, but it didn't last as he saw a light appear in the otherwise dark sky. It wasn't super bright, or really noticeable, but he saw it wash over Lucifer's face before the Devil just disappeared. "..." The three Vees stared in silence for a moment before finally Vox spoke. "The fuck was that?"

"Did he just fucking leave? Can he do that?" Valentino looked completely floored by the revelation.

"It makes sense if he can, he is the King." Vox had to come to terms with the revelation as well. He had scanned that skybox over and over, he had never seen one of his drones just fucking vanish. But the idea that anyone could actually exit the massive black hole that was Hell was a bit hard to swallow.

"He is also recently single, so if he can leave, maybe he could take me too- if I play my cards right." Velvette put her hand to her chest, kicking her legs playfully. Vox had sincere doubts about her odds with Lucifer, considering the devil seemed about as social as a rock.

"I like your enthusiasm." Despite his doubts, he wasn't going to give Velvette an outright 'no' in case, by some unholy miracle, it did work. Then he could tell Velvette he knew it all along and utilize her perks.

"He obviously likes them tall, Sorry Vel." Valentino pushed his way in front of her with a flourish of his hand.

"I saw him first you bloody prick. So-" Velvette started to object.

"Can we focus less on Lucifer's marital status and more on the fact he literally just vanished." Vox gave them a flat expression.

"So, Lucifer is like... gone-gone? Well damn, that's a plot twist. Hopefully he's going to stay out for a bit. I hope that doesn't mean his daughter is in charge right now because she is the most annoying little insect." Val looked irritated at the memory. Vox didn't know the whole story (it involved Angel Dust, so he didn't really care. But he knew Val didn't care for the princess and also, she had set fire to an entire studio. Which, while impressive, was also quite expensive.)

"I don't think the Princess has that sort of power. Or if she does, she doesn't have the personality for it." Vox shifted the focus of the cameras back to the hotel in question. "And with Lucifer out of the way, that fucker who tried to kill us all is prime for the taking." Despite the revelation that Lucifer could actually leave, that figure on the ground was stuck in Vox's head. The idea to take him refused to be quelled no matter what else tried to take his focus.

"Except the fact that he is in a locked hotel with you-know-who, and also probably Cain, and little miss princess." Valentino didn't seem sold on the idea, which was annoying to say the least. The other frustrating factor was that Val actually had a point. There was no telling when the Devil would be back, and there were at least two Overlords and a Royal between them and the target.

"That sucks, because he would be such a good bargaining chip to get the Morningstars to owe us a favor." Velvette huffed. "But unless we're going to blow out a wall or something we might be stuck."

"It was a good idea though." Vox put his face in his hands. They watched the hotel in silence for a moment before seeing one of the other hotel residents running rapidly back to the building. It was one of Alastor's little henchmen, Vox knew she used to be an Overlord back in the day, not that they had ever really crossed paths, but Niffty had been in service to Alastor for the vast amount of the time Vox had known her. She seemed in a hurry, the other Sinners nowhere in sight (it was probably for the best, he didn't need Val going off on another raging rant- especially not in Vox's office.)

"Wonder what's got her going?" Velvette tilted her head to the side. Niffty hurried back into the hotel and vanished out of view.

"Dunno, maybe Alastor needed his fucking socks cleaned." Vox retorted; a bit annoyed his impromptu plan had been so easily thwarted. It was just so rare to have an opportunity to do anything while Lucifer was gone. Vox just felt like they were wasting it, sitting here staring at the hotel. "I like to think he has no idea how to do laundry. He just seems like the type."

"I mean I don't care one way or the other, but I'll say he can't because it'll make you feel better." Velvette patted Vox on the top of his head, careful not to knock off his hat. "And you seem like you need a win."

"I do." Vox huffed, stretching his arms out, resting his head on the desk, face first. "It's been a fucking day. And I still have that fucking headache." It hadn't really gotten any better, he had just distracted himself.

"Maybe you should go to tech support, see if they can fix that for you." Val put a hand on Vox's back.

"It's not a real TV- it's my fucking head!" Vox had just had this conversation with Velvette, he wasn't about to start it again with Val.

"Don't get so pissy, I'm just trying to help." Val scoffed.

"I think you're just being an ass because you had to get up to be a part of the conversation." Vox knew for a fact that Valentino had only gotten up because he and Velvette were talking about something interesting, and they weren't going to bring the screens over to him.

"I think you vastly underestimate just how comfy I was." Val retorted, bitterly. Vox glared at him.

"I didn't make you get up."

"Actually, you did." Val brought his cigarette to his lips, letting out an annoyed puff of smoke, crossing his arms. "Because it is very hard to unwind with you constantly shouting at me."

"I was only shouting because you kept shouting at us so you could be in the conversation!" Vox countered.

"BOYS!" Velvette interrupted before they could engage any further. "You're both pretty now shut the fuck up and look at this." She gestured to the screen where Vox could see Niffty opening the windows one by one, wiping them down with a cloth. He blinked at the scene before him.

"Is she fucking serious?" Vox looked to Velvette as if expecting her to have an explanation. Clearly, she didn't, but he was just in shock. Niffty just finished wiping the windows down and vanished back into the room. Vox carefully moved the drone so he could see into the room. The form of Adam was asleep on the bed, Niffty was wiping the floors. Once she was done, she gathered her supplies in a little basket, opening the door, and closing it again, leaving Adam in plain sight, windows open to the world. Well now this was just asking to happen. Vox couldn't deny temptation- if he could, he wouldn't have been in Hell.

"We could just send in some fucking expendables to go grab him. Worst case scenario and we get caught; we have plausible deniability." Velvette also seemed to notice the opportunity that had quite serendipitously fallen into their laps. Usually, he wouldn't be so quick to act, but this was a very narrow window of opportunity, and that idea just wouldn't leave his brain.

"Do it." Vox put his hand on the table. "If they die, that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Look at you, taking a risk." Valentino smirked, taking another long drag from his cigarette. "I'll deploy the lowest earners." He stepped out to make the call leaving Vox and Velvette to keep eyes on the screen. Vox had a camera focused on the door at all times. He had to be absolutely sure they weren't going to get caught. Just because the King was out of Hell for the moment, didn't mean he wasn't coming right back.

He could see their employees scaling the building. He was poised, ready to call it off at the slightest hint of discovery. That hotel wasn't easy to penetrate at the best of times, and now they knew Cain was inside as well. It was almost suspicious how easily they were able to secure the unconscious body. It wasn't long at all before Vox, Valentino, and Velvette were staring down at the catatonic form of the man who led the armies against them, on the floor of Vox's office.

"That seemed... easy." Vox frowned as he waved away the employees who had actually done the deed in question.

"Why does he look like that?" Val nudged the man's face with his foot. He was odd looking, split down the middle in a black and white palette. It would have an interesting camera read; Vox would need to account for that if he was going to put Adam in the Angelic Security commercials. Watching the leader of Heaven's army get his ass handed to him on camera would be incredibly well received.

"Sinner form?" Vox shrugged. "Maybe he got kicked out of Heaven after he got his ass murdered. Maybe they're pissed he didn't finish off Alastor. I know I am." He wasn't too aware of the details surrounding the interactions between Heaven and Hell and how souls moved between the two. It was something he would need to learn before the inevitable takeover, but maybe that was just another use for Adam. "We should restrain him in case he wakes up. I don't want him breaking my shit."

"It didn't sound like they thought he was going to wake up from the shitty audio you got when he was talking to Cain." Velvette replied leaning to get a closer look at him.

"Still, I would rather not risk it." He was in Vox's space, after all. Everything in here was expensive and he already had to worry about Val going temperamental and breaking things. He really didn't need the extra cost.

"Easy enough." Val took handcuffs from his pocket and snapped them around Adam's wrists. Vox narrowed his eyes.

"I just hope those are clean." He snapped and wires came down from the ceiling, lifting Adam up and pulling him into the ceiling. Vox had to focus, using his abilities to move Adam from his office into a nice cell at the bottom of the building. It wasn't currently in use, but it was sturdy. Mostly, it was somewhere for the Vees to keep people of interest, or employees who didn't obey the rules. Hell was a lawless wasteland, VoxTek had fucking standards- and Vox held his people to them. It wasn't a particularly horrible room. It had a bed, bathroom, sink, and you could see one of VoxTek's most popular soap operas playing on the screen outside the bars. Vox watched on the camera as Adam was placed on the little bed, still out cold. Good. Vox could keep an eye on him while they discussed their next plan of action.

"Seems like overkill, but he's out of the way." Velvette watched the screen as Adam was put back down.

"So do we go straight to Lucifer and use him as leverage, use him for our own gain, or do we want to see how much Hell is willing to pay for his head?" Vox took his seat at his desk so he could keep an eye on the cameras and still talk with his fellow Overlords, "because I think Carmilla in particular would pay a lot."

"I doubt it. For an arms dealer she's kind of a fucking disappointment." Velvette took a seat, kicking her feet up onto the table.

"We don't know until we make an offer." Valentino was the last to sit.

"I still think he could be great leverage for Lucifer. He seemed really intent on keeping that guy locked tight." Vox remembered how... uneasy Lucifer had looked when he was examining Adam. It was hard to say how the public would react to finding out the Devil had him, and Lucifer's PR was already struggling.

"Then he'd know we took him." Val pointed out.

"We could always phrase it as: we saw a flaw in the Hotel's security and took matters into our own hands." Spinning a story was Vox's strong suit. "As concerned citizens, we couldn't risk such a dangerous individual out and about."

"Oh, that's actually good." Velvette sat up. Vox smirked. They were starting to get the beginnings of a plan. This was good. A flicker of light got his attention, he looked over to the screen where Adam was still lying peacefully. It seemed as if the TV had experienced some of that annoying interference (it was bad today, Vox really needed to go through and do a full system upgrade. This was bordering on ridiculous.)

"It's all about presentation. We can look good in the public eye, especially if he tries anything. How would that come across? The King of Hell attacks concerned citizens only trying to keep people safe. Even the Princess would have to take our side then. She's all about that protect the Sinners bullshit." Vox was, admittedly, proud of himself for these ideas.

"It's not bad." Val gave a nod. "I think we should still spitball a little more, but we have something good here. This has legs."

"I mean, if course it does. I thought of i-" Vox cut off mid-sentence as his eyes fell on Adam's cell only to see that Adam was now sitting directly upright. "Oh, he's... awake."

"Oh shit..." Velvette got to her feet, getting a closer look at the camera. "Should we talk to him."

"I've got this." Valentino was already on his feet. He reached past Vox to the button on his console. "This is the microphone for cell three, right?"

"Don't touch that." Vox tried to bat him away, but Val had him trapped.

"Hello fucker~" Val spoke into the mic, thankfully it was going to the correct cell- it would be super awkward if he had been talking to one of the empty ones. Adam's head moved, almost snapped, in the direction of the speaker. It was the first good look Vox had gotten at his eyes. One eye seemed to be entirely white, glowing, with an almost crazed shine over it. The other eye was entirely black with a golden flame to act as the pupil, though currently the light was very dull. "And welcome to Hell."

"Well, we know he can hear..." Vox watched the screen, Adam wasn't talking back. He seemed to be looking at the camera.

"Come on, say something." Val instructed. Adam didn't reply. He just kept staring into the camera, unblinking. His body slid off the bed, his head didn't really move, gaze completely locked on the camera. Adam's mouth moved, but the microphone didn't pick up his voice at all. Instead, the Vee's were met with a horrible, reverberating feedback from the microphones implanted in the room, the image went pixilated for a moment before clearing up.

"Cut the sound!" Vox pushed Val aside, knowing too well he was just going to wind up doing it himself. His head rang with that horrible sound, his headache worse than ever. The cacophony ceased, but there was no more sound coming from Adam's cell. He was looking toward the door, solid bars of Infernal and angelic steel kept Adam imprisoned like an animal in a cage.

"What the fuck was that?" Velvette was holding her head in her hands. From the looks of it, she and Val felt every bit as shitty as Vox. That high pitched sound hit like a bullet to the brain.

"Must have been something wrong with the recording devices in the walls. Maybe some kind of faulty wiring?" Vox knew, for a fact, that wiring was not responsible for that horrible ringing. But he had no idea what was, so he was grasping at straws.

"Whatever it was, you need to fix it. Send in some of your repair guys. I do not want to hear that awful shit again." Val instructed. Vox gave him an annoyed look.

"The sound is cut, we're fine. I am not losing any of my IT guys for something this fucking petty."

"It's not petty, that sound is awful." Val huffed. "I think it tried to give me a fucking migraine. Plus, it's not like they'll have to be that close to Adam, he's behind bars and in handcuffs. Is he still staring at the camera?" Vox didn't really need to look, he could feel those eyes boring into him, but he turned anyway to see the screen.

"Yeah."

"Fucking creepy, and I know creeps." Val made a face. Adam's head snapped to look at the exit. The bars were made of a mix of Infernal and Angelic steel- strong and durable, made to withstand all but the strongest Hell had to offer. He placed his hands on the bars, eyes still locked on the cameras. Slowly, he began to pull, the solid metal starting the bend in his grip, much to Vox's absolute horror.

"Oh fuck no." The wires came from the ceiling to restrain Adam. If he somehow broke the bars, Vox had no idea if there was enough angelic steel in the bars to make them viable extermination weapons. It wasn't worth the fucking risk. "We'll have to keep him fully restrained. The handcuffs don't seem to be cutting it." As if on cue, Adam snapped the handcuffs. His mouth curled into a snarl. On one side, Vox could see the sharp fangs, typical of a sinner, on the other he could see nothing but blinding white light. He bit into the wires restraining him. "Fuck that shit." More wires came down, going to wrap around Adam's neck, but before they could tighten, he opened his mouth wide, and a horrible scream reverberated through the room.

"FUCK VOX, I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE MIC WAS CUT!" Val covered his head, antennae going flat. Velvette was covering her ears. They both looked as nauseated as Vox felt. He was hunched over, eyes on the floor. He could feel the screen that made up his face flicker for a moment.

"It... it was..." Vox choked the words out as he tried to get his barring back. He winced, looking back up that the screen and- "Fuck!" He scrambled to his feet. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He felt his blood turn to ice as the camera panned around a now vacant room. Vox felt his breath hitch in his throat.

"Where the fuck is Adam?" Velvette was staring at the screen too now.

"I don't-" Vox stopped short.

One of the benefits of Vox's Sinner abilities, was that he was always sort of aware of where the technology around him was, and what it weas doing, it helped him make sure things were working when he wanted them to and to be sure they would break only when it would benefit him. So, Vox could, in some sense, feel Adam crawling through the ceiling, clawing his way through the machinery like some sort of wild animal. Vox tried to control the wires, tried to send the pulses of electricity into Adam, but it was much more difficult to catch a moving target he couldn't see.

"Do you have him?" Val was finally up, brushing himself off. "I told you; you should have sent I.T. down there. If I end up with a migraine because of-"

"Shut the fuck up Val, I'm trying to focus." Vox hissed.

"Shut up? Shut up!?" He puffed his chest out with indignation. "It was your stupid idea to bring this guy here!"

"Val. Shhhh." Vox winced. His head was pounding, Adam was squirming his way through very expensive wiring, having made his way into the walls. He seemed to be climbing- trying to escape the wires Vox sent to hold him.

"Do not shush me! There is a fucking feral Exterminator lodged in our fucking ceiling and- AH!"

"FUCK!" Vox jumped back. Val's ranting had him struggling to focus, and he had completely lost hold of Adam who had managed to climb through their walls all the way to Vox's office. He had launched from the walls so suddenly and with such ferocity, it took Vox and Velvette a moment to react. He was on Valentino like a rabid animal, tearing at the coat with his teeth and nails. Vox reacted in a matter of seconds. All the wires from the televisions intertwined into a large, thick wire that slammed into Adam's stomach, flinging him backward and pinning him against the wall. "Val," Vox moved toward Adam as he used his energy to hold the wire against him, sending electricity surging through it. "Are you okay?"

"He fucking bit me. God damn psycho!"

"The fuck is wrong with him?" Velvette was helping Val up as Vox kept Adam pinned in place.

"Not a goddamn clue." Vox could see the mix matched eyes were wild, watching them hungrily as Vox got close. Adam snarled and Vox forced the massive wire back into Adam's chest. He coughed a spray of golden blood onto Vox's screen. "Oh, did that hurt?" He sneered a bit. "Fucking good." More golden blood dribbled on the ground as Adam bared his teeth at Vox. Vox's eye widened, the hypnotic spiral starting to swirl. "Why don't you be a good little Exorcist and stay put- OH SHIT!" As Vox held Adam to the wall, two wings erupted from his back, causing the wire to slip and Adam lurched forward. So mind control was not going to work on Adam. Either his will was too strong or (given how he was acting) there was literally no mind to control.

"ENOUGH!" Velvette swiped her hand quickly and Adam's own robes moved backward under her control causing him to miss Vox and fly into the opposing wall. "Val, do the smoke thing."

"It'll be hard if his wings keep moving." Val moved his hand, and trails of pink smoke wafted toward Adam, but the white and black wings beat it back as Vox tried to use the wire to push him back again. "Can't you control them too!?"

"I manipulate clothing. Not wings!" With Velvet and Vox working together, they almost had Adam back against the wall.

"Aren't feathers clothing!?" Val demanded.

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" Velvette managed to hold to Adam long enough for Vox to pin him back to the wall, wings and all.

"Got him. Smoke, now." Vox ordered. This time as the pink smoke swirled toward Adam, it reached him, despite the Exorcist's best efforts. The spoke wrapped around his neck, his wrists, wafting under his nose. Adam's eyes rolled back for a moment and his head lulled. "Oh thank fuck." Vox took a deep breath.

"We need to lock him up somewhere... even more secure." Velvette sat on the edge of Vox's desk; legs crossed as she caught her breath. Adam's head lulled. He was breathing heavily as all three Vees tried to get themselves put back together.

"At least that smoke should calm him down for a few hours." Valentino was examining a rather nasty looking bite to his forearm. "I can't believe the fucker actually bit me. Usually, people have to pay for that shit."

"I just have to think of where he should be put." Vox spit out a bit of the golden blood that had gotten into his mouth. Adam made a noise and all three Vees looked instantly over in time to see him starting to stir.

"How is he up already!?" Valentino forced more smoke forward, but Adam's eyes were already opening. "No no no! Go the fuck back to sleep!"

"We have to take him back." Velvette got to her feet. "This is bloody mental. He has torn his way through our prison, your office, our fucking walls, Val," she gestured around her. "If Lucifer wants him so much, he can keep him."

"But if we give him up now, it feels like this is all for nothing..." Vox's protest was more a sunk-cost fallacy than a real argument.

"Think of it this way," Velvette put an arm around Vox. "You leave him with Alastor. And do you think that bitch-ass stands a chance against this guy?" Vox watched as Adam's wings started to pump again and he snarled.

"Fair point. Let's bring him back." Vox carefully manipulated the massive wire to completely wrap around him. Adam's teeth instantly sunk into the metal, trying to rip free, it would only be a matter of time before he succeeded. "More smoke Val! He's getting bitey again!"

"He is pretty resistant; I'll do what I can." The smoke wrapped itself around Adam's head and he lulled again. "We need to move him fast."

"Yeah, let's go." There was no way to avoid bringing him in person. Any lower employee would be torn to shreds. And Vox needed to drop this psychopath back off where he could go apeshit on Alastor.

"You two go, I'll watch the cameras to make sure we aren't caught." Velvette took a seat on Vox's chair.

"Are you shitting me?" Vox glared at her. Val mirrored the expression.

"Someone has to."

"Let's just hurry." Vox sighed. She had a point, and they didn't have the luxury of time to spend arguing.

Val and Vox carefully traversed their way back to the hotel, having to constantly reinforce Adam's bindings, unless they wanted to unleash him on an unsuspecting Hell. If things didn't progress as intended, that was a backup plan, but they also didn't want him hunting them back down.

Vox climbed up the window, Val hovering behind as the two of them hoisted Adam through, onto the floor. He thrashed and struggled against the metal bonds the entire way up. Vox was lucky to have avoided getting bitten himself.

"Did you two have fun?"

Vox froze. His head slowly turned to see Alastor sitting in the comfortable plush chair against the opposing wall, crocheting what looked to be the beginnings of a scarf, unphased by the writhing mass of rage on the ground. "You-" Vox wanted to scream, wanted to launch himself directly at the Overlord and strangle him. "You fucking KNEW!?"

"Of course. Who do you think had those windows opened for you?"

"Y-Y-you s-s-sunnova f-f-fuck wh-who-"

"Shhhh," Alastor put a finger to his lips, "Cain isn't too far outside, and if you make a lot of noise he'll come running in here and report this whole debacle right to Lucifer. He's on a short leash like that- but why am I explaining that to you? You know exactly what that's like, I'm sure."

"We should k-" Val began, but Alastor cleared his throat, putting the crochet down on the chair as he stood up.

"Do you really want to make this a scene?"

"W-won't you get in t-trouble too?"

"Why Vox!" Alastor's attempt at feigning ignorance was fucking laughable. "I was simply investigating some strange noises when I stumbled upon this wild plot!" He grinned so wide that his smile neatly cut his face in two. "And who do you think they're going to believe, hm?"

Fuck. He had them by the balls here. Vox was seething his head pounding but as Adam started to break free, he realized it was best to leave things as they were. Hopefully Alastor's overblown ego would fuck him over in the coming few minutes. (He also did NOT want to end up in a situation where he was at any risk of owing Alastor a favor.) "I c-can't W-wait for him t-to rip your f-f-fucking face off."

"Lovely seeing you too." Alastor gestured to the window, stopping for a moment as he seemed to notice the bite on Val's arm. "Oh, that does look nasty. You might need to clean that before it gets infected."

"Oh you little-"

"Val." Vox spoke quickly. Yes, he wanted to murder Alastor, but not if the king was going to hunt them down for this. He wasn't ready to take on Lucifer, yet. He could let Adam do the dirty deed (and he did seem to already almost be out) Vox wanted to get out quickly before the bloodshed could be pinned on him. "Bye fucker!" and with that, he and Val took their leave, heading back to clean up the mess Adam had made of Voxtek.

Alastor watched as Vox and Val scurried out of the window like frightened animals. Adam escaped the restraints with ease and made a lunge at Alastor who caught him easily in the black tentacles, arms above his head, legs trapped in the wriggling darkness as he snarled and growled, glaring up at the Radio Demon.

"Well, you did quite a number, didn't you?" As Alastor kept Adam bound, he took the metal from Vox's wires, making it vanish as it was consumed by his dark shadows. He slowly went to each window, closing them, locking them back up one by one. It had been easy for him to message Niffty, have her come home and clean the newcomer's room. Oh, and to be sure and leave the windows open so all those cleaning chemicals could air out.

He had no idea if Adam was going to wake up with Vox, or not. But he was under the assumption he would. And he was right.

Not surprising.

"Good work today partner." He gave Adam a nod.

Alastor cleaned the droplets of blood off the floor, got rid of any trace Vox had been in at all. He stopped, looking at Adam who was watching him, eyes wide, staring at him- or really... more accurately... through him.

"Well, I'm going to go get your son. I will say, having met you both now, that apple did not fall far from the tree." He laughed slapping his knee. Adam growled at him. "What? You don't like apple jokes?"

He started to vanish into the shadows. "Everyone's a critic." And with that he released Adam's restraints. It was as if he was never there.

He reappeared. Cain was currently getting a drink from Husk (At Alastor's suggestion. Cain was shockingly easy to distract, Alastor had kept him roped in conversation for the entirety of Niffty's cleaning- as long as you kept Cain talking about himself, the man could rant.) Everyone was back from their little night out by now. Husk had wanted to turn in, but Alastor needed Cain to stay occupied, so while most of the others were in their rooms, Husk was making weird cocktails for another Overlord that he had once served alongside. (Presumably. Alastor didn't know how much Cain and Husk actually knew each other. But Cain was also dumb-at least that's what Alastor had gleaned from their needlessly long conversation when he had been distracting him. So even if they had a history, there was no guarantee Cain would remember it.)

"Cain! I think I heard a noise upstairs. We might need to check on Adam." As if on cue there was a loud BANG from above their heads. "I think he might be awake." Cain looked upset by the revelation.

"Fucking really?" He downed the entire drink in his hand. "Right. Smiles, with me, Cat in the Hat," he looked over at Husk, "tell Charlie to call her dad. I'm not dealing with bitch McGee for any longer than I have to."

"As you wish!" Alastor followed Cain up the stairs. Nothing was out of place- not a fucking trace of either of the unwanted guests from earlier. No one would have any idea what had transpired while Adam "slept".

And that was fine by Alastor.

What a perfect end to Alastor's day out.

...

Author's note:  So today is my birthday and my friend (Ladywitchfox on Instagram) did some gift art for me as a surprise so I wanted to share it with you guys!!!! Think of it as a treat for reading through that BEAST of a chapter !!!

Chapter Text

"Sera?" Emily sat at the breakfast table, a bowl of cereal in front of her. While she didn't necessarily need to eat, as an angel, it was enjoyable, and it didn't really hurt anything. She especially liked the taste of cereal. She had a small collection of colorful cereal boxes that had her favorite tastes. Being an angel, she was created, fully aware and conscious, but she had to learn things about herself. She had to learn about her likes, her dislikes, her sense of humor, her hopes, dreams, and fears. So, she liked to keep track of everything she learned with little mementos. Sera thought it was a little silly, but Emily did it anyway. "Seeeeraaaaa," speaking of Sera, she was ignoring Emily, sitting at the other side of the table, engrossed in work. "Hey Sera!" Still nothing. "Sera, is it okay to show that new Winner around Heaven? Say nothing if it is."

"What?" Sera looked up from her papers and Emily frowned, her plan thwarted by a response.

"I was just thinking... it's been a day or two since Pentious got here and-"

"No." Sera didn't even let her finish. "I don't want you near that... that thing."

"That... Winner?"

"That is not a true Winner." Sera's expression soured in disgust. "That is some kind of... warning of a flaw in Heaven's security."

"Oooooor," Emily held up her spoon, "it's proof that Charlie is right about redemption?" Emily gave her a hopeful look only to be met with a glare.

"Do not even start with that, Emily, I swear." Her tone was harsh. Sera had been getting more and more antsy and abrasive, especially after that fiasco of a trial. Emily was still mad at her, but at the end of the day, they were sisters- at least what the angels considered to be sisters. Emily was made in Sera's image. Sera was to guide her, to train her, to teach her the ways of the Seraphim. But recently, Emily had been on her own for more hours of the day than she was beside Sera, studying what was to one day become her job. She was just doing busy work, in her mind- though Sera insisted it was all important.

"But isn't it our job to help Winners get settled into life in Heaven? As Seraphim of Gabriel, we should-"

"Emily! I know what our duty entails. But this is not a normal Winner- this is a security risk and must be dealt with accordingly."

"So, dealt with by Michael's Seraphim?" Emily knew before Sera even reacted that she had hit a nerve.

"You are too young and inexperienced to understand the nuances of our jobs." Sera's hands hit the table and Emily milk sloshed in her cereal.

"Well to be fair, it's hard to learn all of these nuances," she repeated Sera's own wording back at her, "when you stopped letting me shadow you all the time."

"That is enough. I am the highest-ranking Seraphim here. You will obey me. You are not to have contact with that... that... abomination! Am I understood, Emily!?" She leaned over the table, close enough that Emily could see the fire in the two eyes on her face. The multitude of eyes in her hair and halo were glaring intently at her. Emily's hand tightened on her spoon, and she scooted back in her chair. She held her spoon in front of her as if trying to hide behind it.

"Y-yes Sera."

"Now," Sera withdrew, all of her eyes closed except the two on her face, as she went back to her paperwork. "If you're done wasting time snacking," her eyes flickered to Emily's cereal bowl where the milk was starting to turn rainbow from the sugary treats inside. "Don't you have studying to do?"

"More protocol manuals?" Emily groaned. Firstly, she wasn't done snacking, she still easily had half a bowl to munch on. Secondly, she had been doing nothing but reading boring manuals on angelic protocol day in and day out for what felt like years. Angels were big on protocol, she knew that. But eventually they had to run out of things to make protocols about. They were bordering on Doomsday prepping at this point.

"More protocol manuals." Sera smirked as the books materialized around Emily and she had to dive to save her cereal bowl as they landed on the table with a loud THUNK. She clutched her bowl protectively to her chest as she looked at the mountain of manuals with dismay.

"Wait! Before I read all these very exciting manuals like: proper protocol for repairing fountains in Doggy Heaven," how would that be any different than the manual on regular fountain repair? "Can I at least deliver these muffins to Abel?" She levitated a cute basket full of muffins she had baked last night. She had decorated the top to look like little sheep.

"Abel?" Sera made a face. "You know we're not supposed to form interpersonal bonds with the Winners."

"Sera, his dad just died!"

"Ah," Sera's expression softened for a moment, "yes... I suppose that is true." Her fingers drummed on the table for a moment, her expression distant. "Very well, but as soon as you finish, it's back to your books. I have much to attend to, don't bother me unless it's urgent." And with that, Sera gathered her things, and vanished. Emily didn't really even need to ask where she was going. It was probably her office. Sera spent most of her time locked away in there. Emily let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Finally, she was alone again.

She felt the need to just get out of the house. The image of Sera hovering over her, glaring, made her feel so small. She would really need to talk to Gabriel about getting a new tutor whenever he got back. At first, her time with Sera had been great. She had adored Sera, she was strict, yes, but she had so much to teach Emily. Every day was spent, learning, exploring, and experiencing all the joys Heaven had to offer. But gradually, Sera started to pull away. This whole... Extermination thing was just icing on an already rotten cake. Emily was shocked, appalled, but not entirely, one hundred percent, surprised. She still didn't want to believe it, but Sera refused to discuss it anymore, and it became like trying to squeeze water from a rock, trying to get information out of her sister.

She kept the muffins levitating, as she took her still half full bowl, and her spoon, and headed out into the glowing streets of Heaven.

"Good morning, Emily!"

"Good morning, Jon!"

"Good morning, Emily!"

"Good morning, Demetria!"

"Good morning, Emily!"

"Daisuke! Good morning!"

Walking out into Heaven was always such a pleasant experience, a real palate cleanser. Emily happily ate her cereal as she walked, waving and greeting everyone she passed. It was always such a beautiful day out, it would be a shame if she spent it all indoors, pouring over dusty books.

"Emily! Good morning!"

"Molly!" Emily's expression brightened as she was approached by a Winner with voluminous blonde hair and pink freckles beneath her eyes.

"It's so good to see you!" The two exchanged a hug as Emily was careful not to spill anything on her dress. "I was actually hoping I would run into you. I heard about what happened in Hell, do you know if my brother is-"

"From what we know, he's fine." Emily squeezed her a bit tighter before letting go. Poor Molly. Finding out about everything with the Exterminations had made her a nervous wreck. She had two brothers in Hell that she seemed to care about deeply. She had no way of knowing if either had survived. "I can't be one hundred percent sure, but everything I know seems to indicate that he's fine."

"Thank you." Molly hugged her back just as hard. Emily could feel the warmth of tears against her neck. Oh no, if Molly started crying it would make Emily start. (Angels were very in-tune with the emotions of humans- Winner, Sinner, Living- it didn't matter. A human was a human, and Emily was not as in control of her emotions as the other, more experienced Seraphim.) So, when Molly's feeling of relief, worry, and sadness swept over her, Emily burst into tears. "Oh no! Emily I'm sorry I forgot about the emotion thing!"

"No, Molly, it's okay! You need to feel your feelings!" Emily buried her face in Molly's hair. Even though these weren't her own feelings, it still felt nice to cry. And she could feel that Molly really just needed the empathy, the outlet.

"I'm just hope he's safe!"

"I do too!" And Emily truly was. She had seen in the trial that Sinners weren't a lost cause. She saw so much potential for good wasted down below. And with Pentious having just appeared in Heaven, that meant there was more potential for Angel! Of course, she was forbidden from telling Molly any of this. But oh, how she wished could!

"I didn't mean to stop you from doing whatever it is you were doing." Molly sniffed as she finally released her grip on Emily. Emily had to levitate her spoon and bowl as well, so she could put her all into the hug. The spoon flew to her mouth, as she took a bite and sniffed, looking back at Molly.

"It's okay!" Emily mumbled, swallowing her food. "I was just running some muffins to Abel."

"Abel... oh poor Abel." Molly started to tear up again making Emily's eyes start to water as well. "How's he doing? I haven't seen him since... you know."

"Neither have I." Emily hadn't been able to do much since the Exterminators had returned. Upon discovering Adam's fate and discovering Pentious's appearance, locked Emily in her room: in case those monsters try to go after them all. Emily wasn't sure how the 'legions of Hell' were going to get to Heaven since they would have to go through Port Gatory, and that place was a labyrinth.

"Can I go with you to see him? I am really worried." Molly took Emily's hands meaning she still had to levitate the spoon and bowl. Emily squeezed her hands in return.

"Of course you can! I am sure he needs the extra support in these trying times!" What could be better than surrounding Abel with loving friends? "I don't suppose you know where he is, do you?"

"No, but have you tried the petting zoo? You know how much he loves it there." It was true, Abel did often spend a lot of time at the zoo. He had run it for a while, at least, that's what Emily had heard. But Abel didn't have the... personality for such a public-facing job, so now Noah was in charge, and Abel just helped behind the scenes. It wasn't his main job in Heaven, but it seemed to be a favorite passion project.

"That's a great idea!" Emily's wings fluttered. "Let's start there!" She let go of Molly's hands and took her bowl and spoon back. Fortunately, in Heaven, cereal never got soggy no matter how long it sat in milk. Emily had never experienced soggy cereal, but Winners had described it to her, and it sounded terrible!

"Come on." Molly took the lead, Emily following behind as the two gave a wave and a greeting to each Winner they passed. It was the cheery atmosphere of Heaven. Everyone was delighted, having the best days of their afterlife- repeated for all eternity and never losing the fun and wonderment of the experience. There was nothing but a sea of happy smiles in between Emily and Molly and the petting zoo. They reached the entrance, the happy rainbow sign with the hand-painted dove underneath. There was already an array of Winners, low ranking angels, and even cherubs all flying around, enjoying every animal ever created; living together in harmony in a perfect paradise.

"There he is!" Emily pointed excitedly as she saw a familiar man with wavy black hair, a signature tuft of gold in the front. His golden eyes were focused on one of the sheep in front of him, resting its head in his lap as he petted it. The sunlight colored halo over his head seemed a little dimmer. He definitely was feeling down, and who could blame him? After everything that happened, he had to be experiencing a lot of emotions.

"Abel!" Molly called to him, waving all four of her arms. He looked up and smiled, waving them over.

"Molly, Emily, it's so nice to see you." He didn't get up as they walked over. Emily didn't blame him, that sheep looked pretty comfortable in his lap. "What brings you here?"

"You, actually." Emily took a seat on one side of him, and Molly sat down on the other. "We wanted to see you."

"See me?" He looked confused for a moment. "Oh." His face instantly fell; he looked over at Molly. "Did my dad kill one of your brothers and now you're here for revenge? I mean it's justified but let me at least get away from the petting zoo."

"W-what?" Molly blinked at him uncertainly. "Oh gosh! Abel no!" She covered her mouth with two of her hands while another hand patted Abel on the shoulder. "Honey no. My brothers are fine from what we know."

"That's good to hear. I was genuinely worried. I still can't believe my dad would do something like that, you know? Like... he didn't seem like that type of guy. Then again, I guess it's pretty on brand for me to have a family member I love and trust do something brutal." Instinctively, Abel moved a hand up to the golden strands of hair. Emily winced a bit.

"We are sorry about your dad..." Emily put her hand on Abel's other shoulder.

"Sorry that he existed? Sorry that he headed a genocide? Or Sorry that he died?" Abel looked back down at the sheep as Molly and Emily both looked at him in dismay. Abel was a good, wonderful person. He was kind, loving, caring. He would give a total stranger the shirt off his back if they needed it. But he had a tendency to get a little... bleak. Which was why he no longer was heading the petting zoo.

"Sorry that he died." Emily squeezed his shoulder. "I know you two were really close."

"We used to have lunch every Wednesday. It was great. Just... seeing him, talking to him. I don't have mom or Cain up here- and Seth doesn't really talk to me. It was just the two of us. I really thought he cared; you know? But then he had to get called onto some new job and he was just... around less and less... and when he was around it just... wasn't the same. I was worried about him, you know? Tried to talk to Sera about it, but she doesn't like me much." That was true, Sera found Abel to be a real downer. It was why she didn't like Emily hanging around him. "I even tried to meet with the Metatron."

"Did you actually get a meeting?" Molly asked. Emily knew the answer, but kept her mouth shut. Abel shook his head.

"No. They just keep telling me she's busy dealing with other matters and she'll be with me soon." The Metatron wasn't actually there, was the problem. Emily knew that, but only because she had forced it out of Sera by threatening to storm into her office about the Exterminations. She was out with the Archangels doing... well... only God knows what. Something important, no doubt. But the Winners weren't supposed to know that. Sera said it was to prevent them from worrying. "Hey Emily, think you can talk to Gabriel for me next time you see him? I want to talk to Michael, but I don't know any of his Seraphim." There also weren't really any around right now, but that was also not something Emily could discuss.

"Sure! Next time I see him, for sure!" Emily had only actually met Gabriel a few times. Right after she was made. He took her hand and led her to meet Sera for the first time. He had been so warm, so loving, so kind. She remembered feeling safe and happy around him. It was a feeling similar to how a human felt about a parent. He had come to her before he left. He told her that they would come back soon, and he left with the other Archangels. He told her to be good, to listen to Sera, and that he was proud. Emily felt a little guilty that she and Sera had been at odds recently. She hoped Gabriel wouldn't be too upset.

"Thanks," Abel smiled at her. "You're a really good friend." He smiled at Molly on his other side. "You both are."

"And!" The basket of muffins flew so it was in front of his face. "These are for you! Feel better muffins!"

"Oh wow, thanks. This does make the fact that my dad was brutally murdered a little better." Usually when humans said things like this, they were being sarcastic. But Emily knew for a fact that Abel was being genuine.

"You... you're welcome." Emily smiled; it was still a rather awkward sentence, even if Abel had meant every word. It wasn't often that an angel had to comfort someone about a death (outside of their own of course). So, Emily was not entirely sure how to handle it. But Abel was her friend, so she was going to do her best!

"We know this is rough for you right now, but just know you have all the love and support you need: in me, in Emily, in all of Heaven!" Molly leaned over to give Abel a hug. Emily decided to join in from the other side, sandwiching the Winner between the two of them. Abel didn't seem to mind. He only stirred to protect his muffins from the curious sheep in his lap.

"I really appreciate it, you guys." He was smiling as they let him go, though Emily could tell he was still sad (or maybe she was feeling Molly? It could be especially hard to tell in groups.) "But you really didn't need to go out of your way for me. I understand the inevitability and suddenness of death. Even the afterlife can be fleeting because there is nothing in this universe that is truly safe from disaster. We're all just one wrong step away from toppling, helplessly into the void. Oh! Is that the Heaven Flakes cereal that changes the milk into rainbows?" Abel seemed to have finally taken notice of Emily's floating bowl (it was honestly almost finished at this point).

"Oh, yeah! They're really good, have you tried them yet?" Emily was a bit caught off guard by his sudden change in topic, but she was relieved.

"Yeah! They're delicious." Abel agreed.

"You know," Molly looked over, "I actually haven't tried the rainbow milk ones. I have heard great things, but I just haven't had the chance."

"What!?" Emily gasped. "Molly, you have to try them! I have a big box at my house! I can totally make us all big bowls!"

"Except Sera doesn't like Winners in the house." Abel had found a slight flaw in Emily's very fun plan.

"She's got a lot of rules lately." Emily's wings drooped as she crossed her arms over her chest, careful not to press against the closed eye that was currently hidden by her dress. "I'm supposed to go right back to studying after this. Maybe I can get the cereal, milk, and bowls, and bring them outside! That way, you're not in the house."

"Ah yes, the angelic art of being technically obedient." Abel mused.

"I don't want you to get in trouble." Molly seemed concerned. "I can always just pick up some Heaven Flakes whenever I want. It's not like it costs money." That was true, but Emily really wanted to share. Sharing was caring! She already couldn't show Pentious around because of Sera's stupid rules.

"I won't! Sera won't even know. She's super busy today." She was super busy every day, and Emily was starting to lose her mind reading nothing but manuals while Sera was off doing... well... some sort of important angel stuff.

"Maybe she's meeting with Rochele." Abel gave a shrug. Emily's eyes immediately lit up and her mind started to race.

"Rochele is here!?" This might be the answer to her troubles.

"Oh, is she? I've never actually gotten to meet her." Molly looked excited. "I hear she's quite nice!"

"She's great!" Emily got to her feet. "Do you want to go meet her!?" She doubted Sera was actually going over. Sera had been so out of sorts with the whole Exorcism secret being outed that she highly doubted a visit would be on her mind at all. And Rochele never stayed in Heaven very long. She was the angel in charge of delivering souls to Earth. She served directly under both Michael and Gabriel- one of the few Seraphim who worked under two Archangels rather than just one.

"That could be fun! What do you say, Abel?" Molly looked over excitedly, swinging her legs a bit.

"Why not? It's not like I'm doing anything else. And I enjoy spending what limited time we all have left together." Emily blinked. Oof, Abel was worse with the morbidity than usual. His father's death must really have been hitting him hard.

"Let's go!" Emily gave the sheep one more pat on the head before she, Molly, and Abel headed out of the zoo. There was an idea forming in her head- a plan. She might just get to spend the day how she wanted after all!

"I hope she doesn't mind us visiting. I hear she's usually incredibly busy." Molly held to Emily's arm as Abel walked on her other side, carrying his muffins. Emily took a moment to finish her last bit of Heaven Flakes, drinking the milk, before making the bowl vanish back to the kitchen.

"She shouldn't. She loves me." Emily gestured to herself with her free hand. "So of course she'll love you too!"

"She likes me and I'm hard to like." Abel agreed.

"Awe Abel, don't say that!" Molly looked upset by the comment. "You're great! You're sweet, and kind, and sure you can be a little..." she paused searching for the right word, "... grim but we love you!"

"She's right!" Emily wiped the rainbow milk from her upper lip. Abel was quiet for a moment as he looked specifically at Molly.

"I am sorry about my dad though."

"I know." Molly reached over with two of her arms that were not gripping Emily's and patted Abel on the back. "I promise you we're okay. You know what they say: The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father."

"I dunno about all that." Abel gave a small shrug. "My parents ate an apple once, then some tangentially related stuff happened, and then I got murdered. So, I feel like that quote has some selective application. But I'm glad we can still be friends. There have been a lot of Winners avoiding me lately. More than usual."

"I think people are still just upset about everything." Emily had been feeling the tension lately. The Winners were really on edge since the revelation. She felt bad that Abel was taking some of the push back. The guy did seem to have a habit of being a target for unfounded blame.

"I don't blame them. I mean, a lot of people have family in Hell. I have family in Hell." Abel gave a small sigh.

"We'll get this all figured out. I promise." Emily wasn't really sure how; she didn't have any long-term plans outside of making a very convincing presentation to Sera- possibly via song.

"Oh hey, we're here." Abel derailed the conversation as he pointed to what appeared to be a large, ornate nursery. While it was usually busy, it was currently hectic. Low ranking angels and white, bird-like Cherubim were busy wrapping up white lights in soft blankets while at the center, a tall Seraphim stood reading over everything on a projected a series of rapidly changing holograms. The Seraphim in question was pale blue in color, her wings did not match, three were white like Emily's but they were alternated with three blue wings. Her cerulean, curly hair was held up with ornate golden clips, above her head her halo glowed like a beacon. Over her golden eyes sat a pair of rounded blue glasses, covering the dusting of golden eyes on her cheeks. (Though they were closed at the moment giving the illusion of freckles).

"Everyone is doing so great! I'm really pleased to see how many new souls we already had before I even arrived. I'm so proud of you all!" Her voice was soft, but somehow carried over the entire room.

"Rochele!" Emily called to the Seraphim as she stood in the doorway, waving enthusiastically. "Rochele it's been forever!" She saw the golden eyes look up and finally fall upon her. Rochele blinked, pushing her glasses further up her nose as she looked Emily up and down.

"Oh my heavens! Is that Emily!?" She flew over in a flash and picked Emily right up, spinning her around. "How you've grown since our last meeting! Oh Emily, look at you! I barely recognize you!" Emily laughed as she was twirled and drawn into a big hug by the much taller Seraphim.

"It's been too long!" Emily was put back on her feet.

"Oh yes it really has. I got a little turned around in Purgatory. But that ended up being a blessing in disguise! I found quite a few wandering souls. Got them back to the Port before they got too lost." That was pretty typical of Rochel. For all her gadgets and angelic power, she had a tendency to get turned around or otherwise get delayed. Which was sad because she was barely in Heaven as it was. Once every year or so. Though it was for such short amounts of time, that Emily almost never actually caught her. If it hadn't been for Abel, she'd probably have missed her again.

"You didn't drop another batch of souls, did you?" Emily teased playfully as she flew up to hug onto Rochele's neck as the Seraphim immediately went back to looking at all the holograms displaying lots of information about the souls she was gathering- getting ready to deliver to the living world. Rochele's face fell for a moment before she laughed.

"That was one time! And I only dropped one bag. And Chelm wasn't... that bad. It's all fixed now." She took a moment away from her careful analysis to reach over, affectionately pinching Emily's cheek. "I watch where I am flying now. Most of the time."

"Hey, since you're here, can I ask you something?" Emily leaned forward as Rochele went back to examining her work.

"Anything little seraph, I am happy to teach."

"So, there's this Winner that just got here, and I would love to show him around Heaven! But could you like... write me a note saying it's okay?" Emily put her hands behind her back. She felt a bit bad about going above Sera's head like this. But in Sera's own words she was `the highest-ranking Seraphim in Heaven`. Except right now, for this brief moment: she wasn't. Rochele blinked.

"Why not just ask Sera? You know she's the head Seraphim while all the others are out f- Winners! Hi!" She had nearly tripped over Abel and Molly who had both been watching Rochele's small angelic legion darting back and forth in preparation.

"Oh right! My friends!" Emily put one arm around Abel and the other around Molly. "You already know Abel! And this is Molly! She's really great!" Whatever Rochele had been going to say was anyone's guess. Emily was disappointed, she didn't even know where the others were, Sera had refused to tell her.

"Oh, it's so nice to meet you! And hello again Abel!" Rochele smiled brightly. "I remember when you were just little souls ready for Earth! And look at you now!"

"Dead?" Abel looked confused.

"Well, I was going to say: Winners, but I suppose you're not... wrong." Rochele blinked, but quickly recovered herself. "It's so wonderful to see you all! You picked a good Seraphim to have as a friend! Emily's the best!"

"We just love her!" Molly beamed, hugging Emily. "And it is so nice to meet you! I have heard so much about you!"

"Aren't you sweet?" Rochele smiled, going back to focusing on the many names and numbers that moved at light speed across her screen. Sera had been getting onto Emily, especially recently, about becoming too close to the Winners, so it was a bit odd to hear Rochele encouraging her. "I wish I could spend more time chatting with you all. I feel like I never get to talk to fully formed humans."

"Yeah, you missed a lot." Emily was happy she was here now though.

"Muffin?" Abel offered one of the muffins in his basket to Rochele.

"Oh, these look delicious! Thank you for sharing!" She took the offered muffin. "What's the occasion?" It was Heaven, so there didn't necessarily have to be on occasion, but Rochele must have noticed the decorated basket.

"They're: Sorry your dad was brutally murdered muffins." Abel replied right as Rochele had taken a bite. Her eyes widened for a moment, she chewed and swallowed.

"W... what now?"

"Wait... you didn't hear about Adam?" Emily was a bit surprised. Sure, Rochele wasn't around all the time, but the death of a Winner was big news. She would have thought Sera would at least called. Sera had numbers for all the highest-ranking officials in Heaven in a little book in her office.

"N... no?" Rochele looked genuinely shocked. "Abel, I am so sorry... you and Seth must be devastated. I know you were close with your dad."

"It's... hard. But thank you." Abel's sadness washed over Emily, and she teared up. She could see Rochele falter for a moment, but she was a much older, more practiced angel so she swallowed the emotion back down and instead offered a hug to Abel which he accepted.

"There has been a lot of craziness recently. There was a trial, and we got to meet some Hellborns, and there was an Exorc-" Emily started to explain but as she did, a red alarm began blaring on Rochele's screen.

"Oh, cheese and crackers! The time!" She began to rush even more, her attention no longer on her guests. "Whatever trial it was, I'm sure Sera had it handled. That's why she was entrusted to keep Heaven safe." So, Rochele hadn't been told about the trial. Did she even know Exterminations?

"Wait! Did Sera tell you anything about the Exterminations?" Emily tried to shout over the alarm.

"Exterminations? No, we don't really have pests in Heaven. I wouldn't think we would have a need for anything like that. But I really have to go, little dove." She was hard focused on the screens and Emily knew she had lost her to her work. "All right everyone! Who's ready for another successful year of delivering souls!?" The lower ranking angels and the stork-like Cherubim all cheered excitedly. "Amazing! Love your enthusiasm! Love your hustle! And mostly, I love each and every one of you!" They cheered again and Emily almost felt inclined to cheer as well. The energy was just so high.

"Wait! My note!" Emily still felt a tiny bit bad about going behind Sera like this. But she also felt like it was wrong for Sera to utilize her position to stop Emily from welcoming a new Winner- especially one who might prove Charlie's point about redemption. And she imagined there would be some culture shock for poor Pentious. "Do you think you can write it, just really fast? Sera is so busy." A true but unrelated statement. Emily felt a bit guilty- but nothing she had said had been a lie.

"Still a very strange request, Em." Rochele was too busy to really question her further. That was sort of Emily's plan. Rochele was easily distracted, especially when she was busy. "But if that'll make you happy? Sure. Not sure why you even need permission." She typed very quickly on one of the holograms, signing a glowing, sky blue signature at the bottom. The hologram turned solid, and Rochele handed Emily a beautiful scroll with permission to show the new Winner around.

"Thank you so, so, so, so, so much!" Emily hugged her again. Rochele smiled and kissed her on her forehead.

"All right my sweet little dove, I must be off. Earth needs me!" She took off toward the sky, then toward the right. None of her angels or Cherubim moved a muscle.

"Purgatory's entrance is that way!" Emily called, pointing to the left. Rochele stopped for a moment, looking at her map.

"Oops! Sorry! This way everyone!" She took off toward the left this time. Only then did all her underlings follow her toward the pearly gates.

"She was nice!" Molly seemed excited. "I love her hair! But did anyone get the impression she... hadn't heard about that whole trial? And thusly the Exterminations?" Emily looked at the note in her hand, deep in thought.

"Maybe she already knew?" Abel suggested, his mouth full of muffin.

"I just don't think Rochele is the type to be okay with that." Emily replied hesitantly. "Though I certainly wouldn't have thought Sera is the type either. So... I dunno..." She hated to even think that she didn't trust one of her own superiors. Surely something as big as the trial would have been important enough to bring to Rochele's attention. Sure, she was in and out of Heaven, but she was incredibly high up in the Angelic hierarchy. It just seemed like something that should have been discussed.

"She's gonna hear about it eventually." Abel shrugged. "I mean, she didn't even know my dad died. So, she might be kind of out of the Heavenly loop, so to speak. These muffins are awesome by the way."

"Oh, thank you! I worked very hard on them." Emily was glad he enjoyed them. She had been up at all hours baking.

"So, what was the whole thing about the note?" Molly leaned over to look at the glistening scroll in Emily's hand. "Since when do you need a note to give a tour? And... doesn't Peter usually do that?"

"Well... yes... but!" Emily held the note to her. "This Winner is super special. I just... can't say why. It's um..." She hid her face a bit. "Classified?"

"Oooo, mysterious." Abel seemed more amused than anything else. "Does this mean we can't meet this Winner?"

"Oh no! Of course you can!" Emily lowered the note again. "He's going to want to meet wonderful Winners! And I can't think of two better Winners than the two before me right now!"

"Emily you are so sweet I could cry!" Molly replied at the same time Abel said:

"Sera's going to be mad at you for having favorite Winners. She's been real sensitive about that lately."

"Oh shush." Emily nudged him playfully. "Are you ready to meet him!?" She couldn't think of two better Winners to help Pentious get acquainted with Heaven than her two best friends!

"Yes!" Molly looked genuinely excited. "You know how much I love meeting new people! I am even in the Welcome to Heaven dance number!"

"You do such a good job in that." Abel commended her. "I can't imagine having to do that dance as many times as you've had to."

"Oh, we only do it like once every day or two. They group Winners together and we perform it then. If we did it every time there was a new Winner, I would have no free time."

"You won't have to do the whole song number for our new friend! I think it might startle him." Emily had to assume there would be some culture shock for Pentious. Also, she was trying to keep things low key. If she had Peter up and dancing around with his choreographed song number, it might get Sera's attention. "I think he just needs a nice tour with some friendly faces!"

"No dance! Got it!" Molly pumped her first excitedly. "What's the hold up!? Let's meet our new friend!"

"This way!" Emily's wings fluttered excitedly as they headed in the direction of where Pentious was being kept. Of course, the very nature of Heaven didn't exactly create a need for places such as prisons, so when Sera wanted to keep Pentious away from the other Winners, she had to get creative. So Pentious was staying at a resort hotel, guarded by a rotation of various Exorcist. The two in front of the door were not the highest ranking, so Emily felt a bit more confident as she approached.

"Back away, Emily. This place is off limits. Sera's orders." The Exorcist on the right held her spear toward Emily. "You too, Winners."

"Viola, you know my name. My dad literally led your army." Abel made a face.

"I said stand back, Winner." Viola didn't stand down.

"Sorry about your dad, though." The second Exorcist had her sword up, but her stance was less aggressive.

"Thanks, Sugar Tits." Abel nodded to her.

"Abel!" Emily and Molly both gasped at the rather uncharacteristic comment. Abel blinked, looking between the two.

"What? That's her name."

"That is my name. But you can just call me Sugar." She still had her sword raised. Molly coughed a bit leaning over to Abel, whispering in his ear.

"Did your dad really name her-"

"The names got worse as time went on." Abel whispered back. "You haven't met Adam 2 or Cain Still Loves Me."

"Cain Still Loves Me?" Molly repeated, perhaps a bit louder than she intended. The two Exorcists exchanged looks.

"Oh no, I'm Sugar Tits, and that's Viola. Cain Still Loves Me was two shifts before us. But I can tell her you're looking for her!"

"Sugar, shut the fuck up. They aren't supposed to be here!" Viola nudged her companion rather aggressively, while still keeping her spear held. "Sera's orders- so don't try to pull any of that rank bullshit on us."

"Okay, I can sense some annoyance because this is rank related, but," Emily held out her note, "you can't argue with Rochele!"

"Rochele was here?" Viola snatched the paper from Emily's hand. "Why the fuck would she care about any of this? She's not even here in Heaven, like... ever." Sugar peered over Viola's shoulder, golden eyes trying to read the note as Viola kept moving it further from her with each gesture.

"I mean... but if that is from Rochele... that means we have to let her in. Hold it still, will you?" Sugar grabbed Viola's arm to stop her from moving. There was a thing about angels: they followed a very rigid hierarchy. It was almost second nature to obey commands. Not entirely, Angels were definitely able to question authority, but it was rare and it typically was frowned upon. It was one of the reasons Emily hadn't brough her concerns up to Rochele directly. (That and the fact that Rochele was only half listening by the end. Still, she had gotten her note. She did feel a little guilty about using Rochele's distraction and lack of knowledge to her advantage- but it was in order to do a good deed. The ends definitely justified the means here.)

"But Sera's orders are that no one goes in. Especially you." Viola poked her spear to Emily's chest as Sugar read over the note.

"Why not?" Abel put his hand on the spear, forcing it lower.

"Yeah, I'm curious too?" Molly crossed two of her arms and put her two other hands on her hips.

"Oh! No reason at all!" Sugar waved off their concerns. "Just unimportant stuff, boring too."

"So we can definitely go in then? Because it's unimportant and boring, and also because Rochele said it was okay?" Emily pointed at the note in Sugar's grip. Sugar looked at Viola who looked far from happy.

"You keep watch. I'm going to deal with this." Viola grabbed the note back, wings unfurling as she shoved past the three of them, storming off. This put Emily on a bit of a timer. She knew Sera would eventually find out what she was doing, and she would be very unhappy once she did.

"So?" Emily looked at Sugar. "Can we go in?"

"I suppose I can't say no... you did have a note." Sugar stepped aside and Emily opened the door to where a serpent-like Winner was curled up with a punch of little chicks in his lap.

"Pentious!" Emily beamed. "You have birds now!"

"Emily! Hello again!" He smiled at her as Emily let Abel and Molly in and closed the door behind her. "These are my egg boys! Though I guess they're chickens now?" He seemed equally confused by the birds.

"We're in Heaven with the angels!" One of the birds announced.

"Yes, I know. We all know." Pentious looked a little annoyed.

"I am so sorry you've been stuck in here." Emily gestured to the plush, comfortable room. This only made Pentious look confused.

"Stuck? This place is amazing! The TV is a little anticlimactic if I'm being honest, but it's really comfortable." The way Pentious spoke, he elongated the 's' sound, Emily hadn't noticed in her very brief interaction with him.

"Well, we want to show you around Heaven!" Emily gestured to either side of her. "You know me already. But these are my best friends! This is Molly and Abel!" She gestured to each in turn. Pentious squinted at Molly for a moment as if trying to figure something out, but eventually he seemed to give up.

"That sounds fun! Am I allowed to leave now?" He looked so excited. Emily knew she was doing the right thing.

"Yep! Rochele said so!" Emily clapped her hands together. "So, let's get out of this stuffy room!"

"I have no idea who that is but okay!" Pentious got up and all his little birds began to follow in a line.

"She's the angel in charge of new souls on Earth. She's kind of a big deal in Heaven." Abel explained. Emily opened the door leading everyone out. Sugar gripped her sword, watching them carefully.

"I don't think you're supposed to leave with him."

"It's allowed!" Pentious assured her with two thumbs up. "Rock-hallah said it was okay!" Emily snorted.

"Rochele. So, you are actually very close. But yes! Totally allowed! Be back soon!" Emily grabbed him by the hand and started dragging him outside. "Welcome to Heaven!" Emily gestured all around as they reached the outside of the resort.

"Usually we have a song, but you can see it at out next performance time." Molly walked up beside him. "But welcome welcome!" She grabbed both of Pentious's hands in hers. "Like Emily said: I'm Molly."

"Hello Molly, I'm Sir Pentious. But um... friends... ah yes... I had those once- they just called me Pentious." This was great! Pentious already seemed to like Molly. One of the chicks pulled on Molly's boot.

"I like all your arms and legs!"

"Oh, thank you!" Molly leaned down so one of her hands could pat the chick on the head. "You're so sweet!"

"They are charmers." Pentious seemed pleased.

"And I like the yellow in your hair! It matches my feathers!" Another chick was hanging off Abel's pant leg.

"I USED TO BE AN EGG." Another Chick shouted to no one in particular.

"Oh thanks." Abel touched the golden curls that only occupied the middle and left part of his bangs. "It's where my brother beat me to death with a rock." Pentious's smile had fallen slightly. Emily cleared her throat. "Oh, sorry. I'm Abel. That Abel." It was a common question with Winners who met Abel. Emily didn't really blame him for just getting it out of the way. But did he have to be so bleak about it? Pentious squinted at him for a moment, clearly thinking.

"Oh, you're Cain's bother!"

"Weird way to put it, but yes." Abel nodded.

"I know your dad." Pentious nodded.

"Wait... what? You mean like... know of him or-" Abel started to ask but Pentious cut him off before he could finish, or Emily could interrupt.

"Yeah, he killed me!"

"What?" Able and Molly spoke in unison and Emily covered her mouth. Technically, Sera had just told her not to say anything about Pentious to anyone. She never said anything about Pentious saying it himself.

"One second Pentious!" Emily smiled brightly before pulling Molly and Able aside into a huddle. "Okay guys, don't freak out."

"Is he a Sinner!?" Molly hissed, keeping her voice down.

"I mean... that's certainly an interesting idea." Emily bit her lip, her eyes darting between the two before looking solidly at her own feet. As an Angel, it was quite difficult for her to straight up lie. It wasn't... impossible. But it really didn't feel great.

"Yeah, he's a Sinner." Unfortunately, Abel was well aware of that fact and knew that Emily's refusal to answer might as well have been her waving the word: YES, on a big neon sign.

"Emily what the heck is going on!?" Molly hissed.

"I can't exactly say. I'm not allowed." These were her friends, Emily trusted them with everything in her. But rules were rules. "But if you figure it out for yourselves... I can nod or shake my head."

"So, he was in Hell... and now he's... up here." Abel looked behind him at Pentious who was playing with his chicks quite happily while they had their huddle.

Emily nodded. Molly looked thoughtful.

"And he's definitely a Winner. He's not just visiting..."

Again, Emily nodded.

"So, was he like...?" Abel looked at Molly.

"I mean... there's no way, right?" She met his gaze. They both looked at Emily who was covering her mouth with her hands.

"Was he redeemed?" They asked together. Emily could barely contain her squeal of excitement.

"Maybe!" They really weren't sure. But there was no other reason he could be up here. "But try not to say anything, okay? I am trusting both of you."

"O-of course... it's just... you know what this could mean for my brothers!" Molly looked just as excited as Emily felt. Even Abel seemed thrilled by the idea, which was a bit surprising.

"I could see Cain again!"

"Exactly!" Emily was a bit surprised Abel wanted to see Cain. But they were both excited, Emily could tell, and it was feeding into her own eagerness as some sort of energetic feedback loop. "PENTIOUS!" She broke the huddle running back to him. He seemed startled by her shouting, even more surprised as Emily pulled him into a hug. "There is so much to show you!"

"And sorry about my dad murdering you by the way. I know the feeling. Not how it feels to be murdered by my dad specifically but... I mean... you get it." Abel added as Emily picked up the larger form on Pentious in her hug. She couldn't help herself. All the energy around her was making her overly excited.

"Oh, it's fine." Pentious nodded to Abel. "I got better."

"Hey, this may be a weird question, but I have two brother's in Hell, have you seen either of them? Anthony and Arthur. They might look like me?" Molly clasped her hands together as Emily put Pentious back down.

"People don't really use their real names in Hell." Pentious shrugged. "So, I'm not entirely sure..."

"Is Pentious not your real name?" Abel tilted his head to the side.

"No. It's Cedric." Pentious replied as he looked Molly up and down taking in her four legs and four arms. (Sometimes Molly only had two, they second pair were retractable). He squinted, his hat squinted too. "Though you look a bit like Angel Dust." Emily gasped. That was the Sinner from the trial. She looked at Molly for a moment. There was some resemblance! (Though the Sinner and Winner forms were not necessarily any indication of biological relation.) Molly wasn't high enough in rank to have seen the trial- in fact- no Winners had been invited outside of Adam. (He had been going to a lot of meetings lately that, typically, didn't allow Winners.)

"Molly he's right! Maybe that was one of your brothers!" Emily grabbed the two of Molly's hands that weren't clasped together.

"Angel Dust... huh?" Molly looked amused, but also a little sad. "That sounds like something Anthony would come up with. Do you know if he's okay?" Pentious was thoughtful for a moment.

"I'm not entirely sure. I died before we finished the fight. But he was still alive when your dad blew me and my Egg Boys up."

"We 'sploded!" One of the chicks called gleefully.

"Well, if it helps, your friends killed my dad." Abel patted him on the shoulder. "So maybe that makes us even?"

"That sounds right." Pentious seemed content with that trade (though it didn't seem as if he had originally had an issue with Abel.) "So, am I going to get this tour? Or is this the whole thing." He looked around, hands on his waist. "Because I'll be honest, I thought Heaven would be bigger." Emilly giggled.

"No no! There's so much more!" She grabbed Pentious's hand. "Sorry, my friends were just surprised to find out where you were from. That's all!" She started dragging him along behind her.

"Let's start with the Petting Zoo! That's where I work!" Abel offered. Pentious didn't seem to mind being dragged around (all his chicks just hopped onto him, using their wings and feet to climb up to his hat), but he did look confused.

"You need jobs in Heaven? I thought that was just a thing in Hell."

"It's just something to do. You don't need to go. It's just fun stuff to stay busy. Pretty much everything is free in Heaven, so you only do the work you want to do. And people here love to help out!" Molly explained. "I'm a dancer!"

"I didn't think Heaven would allow th-" Before Pentious could finish, Molly cut him off with a laugh.

"Just a normal, artistic dancer."

"So, if I don't want to do any work... I don't have to. And I can still eat and have a place to live?" Pentious seemed a bit hung up on this whole job thing. It must have been very different in Hell.

"You could, but you will get really, really bored." Abel warned. "Take it from me, dude. I've been here forever. The work is fun! And you get the joy of helping others which is one of the best parts."

"It is!" Molly agreed with a happy sigh.

"You guys are a bunch of weirdos!" One of the chicks chirped happily from the brim of Pentious's hat.

"Be nice!" Pentious snapped as Molly and Abel both just laughed. "But he has a point. That sounds fucking ridiculous."

"That's Heaven for you!" Emily beamed. "Oh, here we are!" She pulled him under the sign, gesturing to the array of animals in their respective areas, surrounded by excited Heavenly beings from Cherubim, to Winners, to Angels. "This is our petting zoo! Noah runs it! But Abel helps with animal care!"

"Why are the animals all just... sitting there?" Pentious squinted at the scene before him. "They should be ripping each other apart!"

"It's Heaven." Emily reminded him.

"Are we gonna get eaten, boss?" The chicks peeked down at Pentious from the brim of his hat.

"The angel says no." He reached up, patting the little birds affectionately. "I could, perhaps, find enjoyment in this place."

"It's really fun!" Emily assured him. "Oh, but we have so much else to show you! Let's keep going! You will have all the time in the world to check this out later! And we can all spend a day here or something if you want!"

"Y-you want to spend time with me?" His yellow eyes started to water. Emily was hit with the feeling of loss, of loneliness. On no! Of course he still missed all his friends back in Hell!

"Absolutely!" Emily assured him.

"You seem great!" Molly added.

"Yeah, you're cool." Abel agreed.

"And I'm sure all your other friends will come up here on their own time! So, we can be your friends until you get reunited!" Emily gave him another hug. "You're one of us now! And I know there might be some adjustment period for you so if you have any questions, you can ask me, or Molly, or Abel!" She didn't want to think about him asking anyone else. Sera would kill her if word about his origin traveled far. And she doubted someone like Lute or Viola would be happy to help. She didn't want Pentious to have any kind of negative experience.

"You remind me of Charlie..." He sniffed a bit.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment!" Emily liked Charlie. A lot. Charlie was what everyone down below should strive to be. In a way. Emily liked to think she was helping Charlie by showing this redeemed Sinner around. She wished there was a way to talk to her, to tell her that Pentious was here- that her ideas were working. However, Heaven and Hell did not have a simple form of contact. Emily had no idea how they even kept in touch. Only Sera knew that. "Where should we go next?"

"Promise Land!" Molly suggested eagerly. "That's where I do some of my shows! I have a great acrobatics routine that everyone really enjoys!"

"Omigosh! Yes! I love Promise Land!" Emily grinned. They saw Abel's workplace, it was only fair to show off Molly's! Plus, it was just a super fun place! The winners loved all the rides, food, and shows.

"Promise Land?" Pentious blinked.

"It's one of our theme parks!" Emily explained. "It's really fun! There is so much to do and see! Sera used to take me after training!" She had stopped a while ago, claiming Emily was getting too old for constant treats. Emily was a bit upset by the change of heart, but she kept going on her own (or with Abel) whenever she had free time. It was how she had met Molly!

"Oh like Lu Lu World!" Pentious brightened up. "I have been there a few times! It was incredibly expensive, and the lines were awful. But the rides and food were great!" His face fell a moment. "Except when they weren't."

"I died on the Hell Drop!" One of the chicks chimed in. Emily covered her mouth. That sounded so dangerous!

"You got better." Pentious didn't seem that upset by the comment.

"You guys have a theme park in Hell?" Abel asked curiously.

"Several! But we can't go to all of them because we're bound to Pride Ring. We have Lu Lu World and Hellsny. There's also Loo Loo Land, but that's in Greed so I can't actually go there. But I heard it's just a bad rip-off of Lu Lu World." This was all quite fascinating! Pentious had insight into Hell, there was so much they could learn from him! Emily stopped as they reached the massive golden gates that surrounded the beautiful gilded amusement park within.

"Welcome to Promise Land!" Molly gestured excitedly at the towering coasters and rides that sat upon their bed of clouds. The park was bustling with Winners and all types of angels, looking around, waiting in short lines, eating food, all having a great time. Pentious's eyes widened, as did the eyes of his little chicks.

"It's so... nice... and clean!"

"Well of course! We want our Winners to have a wonderful time! Moses takes great care of the park!" Molly explained.

"He's still running it?" Abel glanced over at Molly. She nodded, enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah! He loves it, and he does a fantastic job! I am pretty sure he came up with the name."

"Why is it so... empty?" Pentious squinted at the small lines. Emily followed his gaze. It didn't look empty to her. "Where are the four hour lines that you wait in only to have the ride break down when you get to the front? Where's the massive mob of people shoving each other in the food lines? Or trampling one another at the shows? How expensive is this place if there's no one here?"

"It's free." Emily, Abel, and Molly, all said it in unison. It seemed Sir Pentious was really struggling with this one concept in Heaven. That must be a cultural difference.

"And you get a return time when you want to ride a ride. So, you can explore the park to your heart's desire until your time to ride whatever you want! That way you aren't trapped in a line forever! You just go up to the ride booth and get a ticket with your time on it! It's super easy and convenient!" Molly explained. She did know the park better than either Emily or Abel.

"And how much does that cost?" Pentious questioned, one eye narrowed the other wide. There was a collective sigh before everyone simply replied with:

"Free."

"This is incredible! You could ride everything without having to get into one fist fight over line cutting!" Pentious looked truly excited by the theme park. "And if you steal other people's return tickets, you can ride everything back to back!" Molly, Emily, and Abel looked at one another uncertainly.

"Bro, you can't do that." Abel put a hand on Pentious's shoulder. "That's against the rules, my man."

"So, no one ever steals the tickets?" Pentious looked genuinely confused by the revelation. "Are you sure?"

"This is Heaven, no one would steal. It's not allowed." Molly reiterated. "We take rules very seriously here."

"Very." Abel agreed. "But I mean they're basic ones like no stealing, lying, killing, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera..."

"No lying?" Pentious looked up at his chicks on his hat and then back over at the Winners and the Seraphim. Poor Pentious seemed to be going through quite the series of revelations. Emily felt bad for him.

"The lying rule is really more for angels. Winners aren't really encouraged to lie or anything like that but they aren't held to quite the same standards. After all, mistakes and bad choices can happen, your only human." She too put a hand on Pentious's shoulder. "If you mess up, it's totally okay! Just learn from it!"

"I didn't expect Heaven to be so... forgiving?" He tilted his head to the side. "Then again " he straightened back, "they let Adam stay and he was committing a lot of murder and that seems to go against one of your rules."

"Yeah, we didn't know about that. I mean we and in: the general public." Molly specified. "And a lot of people aren't super happy, Winners especially." It was true, ever since the trial had become public knowledge (in part thanks to Emily herself) there had been a growing divide between those that agree with the Exterminations, and those that vehemently opposed the idea.

"Ugh, sorry again about all of that." Abel put his face in his hands. Emilly patted his back, as did Molly, and- much to her surprise- so did Pentious.

"It's okay, you seem cool. And we were both brutally murdered by members of your family, so we have something in common." Abel looked up, blinking for a moment before a smile snaked across his face.

"Oh, I like you."

"Awe you guys are getting along already! This is so great!" Emily turned the group back-pat into a big group hug. This was going even better than expected! She knew she could count on her friends to make Pentious feel welcome! Heaven just had so much to offer.

"Why don't we show him where you work?" Molly suggested. "Abel and I both showed off our workplaces! And you have the most important job of everyone!"

"Oh, I want to see!" Pentious looked rather excited. Emily hesitated for a moment. She didn't have the heart to point out that she rarely got to visit her workplace anymore. Sera would only let her get study tools and then kick her right back out. But there was no reason she couldn't at least see the outside- it was rather beautiful.

"Okay, but we can't go inside." She didn't want to be caught by Sera anyway. Though, she doubted that she was actually in the building. There wasn't much there at the moment, save for a skeleton staff. (Not literal skeletons, of course, just the minimum of angels needed to keep it up and running.) "Plus, I am technically not working there. I am just a student."

"It is an important part of Heaven." Abel added. "I was just there earlier. It's where you would go to talk to the highest ranking members of Heaven, the big dogs."

"Like Sera?" Pentious followed along as they started to walk. They could fly, but Emily didn't know how good Pentious was at flying yet and she didn't want him to feel awkward. Emily nodded.

"Sera and other high ranking Seraphim. But it's more for the angels above her: The Archangels." She made a rainbow over their heads as she said the words. (Just to add a little fun emphasis.) "Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, and Michael- they are sort of in charge of everything."

"Haven't seen them around much recently." Abel put his hands behind his head as he walked, golden wings tucking behind him.

"I have never even met them." Molly added, two hands clasped behind her back, two stretched out in front of her. "Abel has met everyone, he's just been here that long."

"I'm old." Abel agreed. "Older than Emily."

"It's true, I'm only two hundred and fifty." Emily replied with a giggle.

"Only?" Pentious seemed taken aback.

"For an angel, that's super young." Emily explained. "Most angels are much, much older."

"Oh, there's also the Metatron!" Molly clapped her hands together. "I have only met her once. She's kind of..." she trailed off for a moment.

"Blunt. She's really, really blunt." Abel filled in the blank for her.

"Yeah, I was trying to think of a nicer way to say that." Molly giggled.

"And she is an Archangel?" Pentious counted on his fingers for a moment. "You only listed the four names earlier."

"The Metatron isn't a traditional angel." Emily wasn't sure how exactly to explain it. "She's sort of the messenger for the one in charge of all of this. "She is her own... entity... but maybe you could consider her more like... a very advanced AI?" Did that make sense? Pentious just looked confused. Oh no she had done a bad job! "A-ah well... you'll meet her eventually! It'll all make sense then!"

"I get to meet the Metatron!?" His eyes sparkled a bit. "I know I just learned who that is, but she seems very important."

"Everyone does! Eventually." Emily knew Metatron wasn't around at the moment. Had she been, something as exciting as Pentious would definitely have gotten her attention. She wasn't overly involved in Heaven's day-to-day. The high ups trusted those beneath them, and thus didn't pry into their affairs. But with something interesting like this? She would expect it to travel up the ladder pretty quickly. She was a bit disappointed that Gabriel hadn't shown up to see Pentious himself. She would love to have a chance to see him again. She came to a stop in front of a beautiful building made of marble and gold, the ornate designs seemingly alive with their own glow. "Here we are!" She gestured to the building. "The Main Hall! There are lots of offices and stuff in there, it's actually way bigger than it looks on the outside."

"Oh wow! It's so fancy!" Pentious seemed excited. "Maybe I can get a job here too!"

"I wanna work for Raptor." One of the chicks agreed.

"I wanna work for Nickle!"

"Raphael and Michael?" Emily asked genuinely unsure.

"Probably. They say crazy shit all the time, you learn to just accept it." Pentious assured her. "They are good minions."

"Friends." Emily corrected. "You have friends in Heaven, not minions. Coworkers is an acceptable term too, though."

"You'll get used to all the terminology." Molly assured him. "This is all still so new to you! And like Emily said: we are here to help!"

"You guys are so nice." Pentious's eyes watered. Emily felt a little lighter, there was genuine joy in his emotion, though it was muted by the sadness of loss. Of course, he still missed those who he left behind, but if he had managed to get here, then it was only a matter of time for all the others!

"EMILY!" The young Seraphim jumped at the sound of her name, bellowed through the busy streets. Oh no. Caught already? She slowly turned to see Sera storming toward her, a very satisfied Viola at her side. "What do you think you're doing!?" She grabbed Emily pulling her away from the Winners.

"I had permission! Rochele said-"

"You leave Rochele out of our business!" Sera's grip tightened on her arm. "You could have gotten her in trouble too. Did you even think about that!?"

"I just wanted to-"

"You need to think things through, Emily." Her anger was valid, Emily had sort of gone behind her back and over her head. "I am in charge for a reason."

"Hey, go easy on her, Sera. It was my idea." Abel tried to intervene.

"Winners shouldn't lie." The look Sera gave him could make a statue crumble.

"You let my dad lie to all of us about where he was going once a year!" Abel wasn't letting up. Emily was relieved to have his support, but at the same time, she was worried for him as she could see how upset Sera was getting. The eyes in her hair were beginning to open.

"Abel."

"My dad is dead because of you!"

Sera opened her mouth but closed it again. She took a deep breath and released Emily's hand and went to Abel. She stood over him, but he didn't back down. Glaring up at her, wings outspread, eyes bright. She knelt down and took him in her arms, hugging him tightly. "I am so sorry for your loss, Abel." It was only a moment before he was crying in her arms. Emily felt relief washing over her. That was the Sera she loved, comforting a hurting soul.

"It's just... it's just not fair..." Abel sniffed, Emily could tell he was trying to hold back tears. He failed and just started to cry in her arms. Emily started to cry too, overwhelmed by Abel's grief. The chicks on Pentious's hat also started to wail. And Molly began to pet them as a way of comforting them.

"I know." Sera hugged him gently. "I know you're hurting. And in Heaven, you should never hurt. I failed you, Abel. But I promise I can make things right." She placed a kiss to the top of his forehead. "But to do that I must be able to do my work without being undermined." She looked back at Emily who was still sniffling, wiping her face. She felt so... guilty.

"S-Sera I'm-" Emily started to speak, but Sera took her hand, gently this time.

"Everyone is emotional right now, loss is such a rarity on Heaven, and it has hurt us all deeply. Why don't we all calm down?" She nodded to Viola who walked over to Pentious.

"You're with me."

"Back to my room then?" Pentious didn't sound upset but Emily still felt bad about letting him get involved in this.

"Yep. Let's go." Viola led him away.

"We should go as well." Sera looked down at Emily who looked back up at her, tears still in her eyes. "Come along, now."

"We'll catch you later, Emily." Molly put an arm around Abel who still looked distraught. Emily nodded as she followed Sera silently back into their house. Sera looked so worried... so... disappointed. It made Emily feel even worse. Sera took a seat at the table, gesturing for Emily to join her.

"Sera, I-"

"I am worried about you, Em." Sera spoke rather bluntly, though her tone was gentle. "This sort of behavior isn't like you. Going behind my back, endangering Abel and Molly, exposing them to a Sinner, tricking Rochele into breaking my rules so you could do what you wanted..." she shook her head sadly. Emily thought about pointing out that Rochele actually out-ranked Sera, and therefore couldn't really break her rules. But this didn't seem like the time to argue semantics. Still... there was one point she felt she had to make.

"Pentious is a Winner."

"Pentious is a threat." Her tone was not harsh, but just... stern. "Look at it the chaos he has already caused. You let him wander for... what...? A few hours? And now Abel is lying? To my face?" Sera had a point, although, of the group, Abel would be the most likely to lie, especially if he was trying to protect Emily (and she had a feeling that's what he was doing.) Still, she could see Sera's perspective. And saying: Abel would have lied anyway wasn't going to help Abel. Emily bit her lip.

"I am sorry, Sera."

"I just worry about you, Emily... so, so much. I love you, we are family." She put her hand on Emily's that was resting on the table. "I just want to keep you safe. What you're doing? It scares me. The last thing I want is to have you ending up like Lucifer. Could you imagine if Gabriel heard about all of this?" Another pang of guilt hit her in her core. She didn't want to upset Gabriel! She wanted him to be proud of her when he finally came back. "Or worse, Michael?" Emily had never met Michael, at least, not in a one-on-one setting. She had seen him, once, when Gabriel left. But she knew of him: the Warrior. The Judge. The leader of the Legions of Heaven. "Now I can keep this whole incident between us. It was just an honest mistake, you were clearly trying to do the right thing." Sera squeezed her hand. "You didn't tell Molly or Abel about that Sinner's true origins, did you?"

"N... no of course not. You made me promise not to do it." Emily felt bad, even worse when she saw the relief on Sera's face. But it was true. She hadn't said a thing. Pentious had explained everything himself. So, it wasn't a lie necessarily, but it still left her feeling a little queasy.

"You are truly a good angel, Emily. I know you want to help, but there is so much more that you don't understand." Sera reached across the table, putting a hand to Emily's cheek. "I just want you to be safe."

"Yes Sera." She couldn't look Sera in the eyes. She felt so awful. "I think I should return to my studies."

"I think that is a wonderful idea." Sera smiled, letting her hand fall. "I will be in a meeting, I won't be back till later, why don't I cook us something nice when I get home? It's been so long since we've had a nice meal together." Emily finally looked up at her.

"I would like that."

"Wonderful." Sera got to her feet as Emily took out one of the manuals from the pile. She watched as Sera took her leave. She felt awful, could she get Sera into trouble? Was Sera risking herself on Emily's behalf?

The guilt was eating at her, gnawing at her gut. Her fingers drummed on the table as she read the same page over and over again. The words were just a blur. She really didn't want Sera getting hurt because of her. Or Rochele. Or Abel, or Molly, or Pentious. What if they blamed this whole thing on him!? And then Michael cut his wings off and cast him back out! Or he banished all of them!

Emily stood up. She couldn't focus. She needed to get up and move around. She hadn't damned her loved ones. She had been doing the right thing! Pentious being here was a good thing! I meant that redemption was possible. It had to be something good!

Ring

Emily paused. She was halfway down the hall when she heard a phone ringing. She blinked, looking around, realizing she was just outside of Sera's room.

Ring.

She had a phone in there? Maybe she had forgotten her cellphone because she was so distraught over Emily? Poor Sera! Emily felt like it was the least she could do to bring it back to her since it was her fault Sera forgot.

Ring.

Emily cracked the door open and slipped inside. She followed the sound until she saw a rather beautiful, white phone sitting on Sera's desk, tucked away behind a stack of papers. It wasn't a cellphone at all. It was an old looking design, certainly outdated. Emily hadn't seen the phone before, but then again, she didn't really go into Sera's room.

Ring.

Emily took a deep breath. Well, it would be rude to ignore whoever was calling. Her hands trembled as she picked up the gilded receiver. Her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end was masculine, but it definitely wasn't Gabriel. "Sera is that you?"

"..." Emily tried to force words out of her throat, but her tongue felt glued to the roof of her mouth.

"Sera? If you're talking, I can't hear you." The voice on the other line spoke again. "It might be an issue on my end. Try calling me back." There was another pause. "Oh, and this is Michael." Emily's blood turned to ice in her veins, and she instantly slammed the receiver back down on the phone, hanging up as quickly as she could.

She slipped out of Sera's room, her heart pounding. Her whole body shook. She closed Sera's door behind her.

What did Michael want!?

Emily hugged herself, trying to calm down.

Had she really messed up that badly!?

A/N. So glad you made it through this entire slog of a chapter! Here's a treat! The Heaven Trio! Abel, Emily, and Molly!

Chapter Text

"You know, if you don't let me go, you're gonna be in some deep shit." Adam was in a bad mood. He was strung up, arms above his head, legs frozen beneath him, his mouth burned and tasted foul. He found himself staring down at the devil himself (who, for some reason was taking off his vest and burning it- maybe it was some kind of weird threat?). The room was a wreck, most likely typical of Hell. There was a heavy, noxious smelling black sludge caked over the floor. Figured the damned couldn't take care of things. That's why Hell was as fucking forgone as it was. "Sera is gonna be pissed."

"I don't think so. First of all," Lucifer looked toward him, putting the apple head of his staff under Adam's chin, "she thinks you're dead." He tilted Adam's face to look him in the eye. Everything looked a little off, a little flatter. Maybe it was just the poor lighting. Adam could just assume that Lucifer sucked the light out of any place he visited. "Secondly, you're not going anywhere, Adam. You're right where you belong. Down here with the rest of us."

"Bullshit." Adam would gladly have taken the opportunity to spit in his face, but his mouth was both dry and burning (and also, he was too far away.) "I am a Winner. I am favored in the eyes of Heaven. I have divine ordainment motherfucker so you can just choke on my dick and die."

"I saw your dick in Eden, Adam- remember? You were naked all the time. Anyway, if I'm being honest, it's hardly a choking hazard." Lucifer spoke entirely straight faced and Adam struggled harder against the restraints. If he could get free, he could finish the fight they had started. "Also, like I said: You're right where you belong."

"Don't fucking lie to my face. This is a kidnapping! You think Heaven is gonna stand for this!? They fucking love me up there! You thought the Exterminations were bad? Then you are gonna freak the fuck out over the armies Sera's gonna send to save me." Adam glowered at him. If he could escape his restraints, he would really make a point.

"I'm not lying." Lucifer leaned a bit closer, raising a hand up in the air. Adam followed it with his gaze unsure if he was about to pull out a weapon, and chop his head off while he was trapped. "You really don't get it, do you?" He smirked, as Adam pulled back a bit, uncertain of the devil's intentions. The hand above him moved. "Congratu-fucking-lations!" And threw a surprisingly large amount of confetti over Adam's head. "You fucked up enough, and now you're down here with the rest of us!"

"Liar!" Adam repeated, shaking his head to get the confetti out of his hair. "I've never done anything wrong in my whole fucking life. I'm literally perfect."

"You bit the forbidden fruit of knowledge." Lucifer again replied with a complete, deadpan expression. Adam's eyes narrowed.

"Not my fault, doesn't count."

"I mean it counted enough to get you kicked out of Eden." The devil winked, clicking his tongue and shooting finger guns in Adam's direction. It was almost impressive how Lucifer could somehow make that gesture look uncool. That had to be some kind of hidden talent. "But you know what? Heaven has a song, and I'm not one to be outdone." He snapped his fingers. "Hit it boys!"

Adam suddenly became aware of two other Sinners in the room with them. One looked like a pompous, smiling butler who didn't understand the definition of: too much red. (Though he did look kind if familiar. Had Adam fought him before? His memory was a bit hazy.) The other looked like an edgy motorcycle riding gargoyle who never grew out of his 'my parents don't get me' phase. (Though there was an even stronger sense of familiarity about him that made Adam's stomach churn.) The two Sinners exchanged a look at Lucifer's command.

"The fuck is he talking about?" The attention seeking gargoyle asked. (Oh, that voice... that was... almost painfully familiar. Where had Adam heard it before?)

"I have no idea. I just assumed this was something you two had worked out. " The monocle wearing theme park employee replied with a permanent smile. Fucking weirdo.

"Listen, I have no idea what he-" the gargoyle didn't have a chance to finish (the familiarity of his voice was driving Adam crazy) because at that moment, music started to play from... somewhere and the Devil launched into a half-assed rip off of the 'Welcome to Heaven' song that Saint Peter had created.

"Welcome to hell, bitch~ oooh" Lucifer started to sing. "Where the rest of us reside!

A rotting dark ditch, ooooh

Where Heaven left your ass to fry!

You fell from grace right on your face, from heaven you're cast out

That's what this song's about!

Welcome to hell, bitch! Ooooh

I can see you start to cope!

But now you're stuck here! Ooooh~

And ye can just abandon hope~

You broke our little contract when you went on the attack,

And now you can't go baaaaaack~"

"I'm so confused, like did this need a fucking song?

God damn it, Lucifer, how did you make me sing along!?" Now the gargoyle was singing too. What an annoyingly unexpected twist.

"It seems to me that no one's coming,

So please don't make a fuss." Great now they were all singing.

"The consequences of your actions have trapped you here with us!

Welcome to hell, bitch!" Lucifer's dramatic finish included more confetti, balloons, and a dramatic, illuminated sign reading: You're here forever!

"Fuck you." Adam did finally manage to spit onto Lucifer's hat, spraying it with flecks of blood. Lucifer's smile fell as he took the hat off, examining it.

"That was uncalled for. I sang you a song and everything."

"Well, you're wrong. I am not supposed to be here. I didn't Fall. You clearly abducted me to use me as a bargaining chip for Heaven because I'm so important." Adam's jaw clenched as he glared at the being in front of him, the creature of pure evil and hate.

"I swear it's like you didn't even listen." Lucifer sighed as he shook his hat until a full-sized mirror fell out of it in front of the trapped angel. "See for yourself, fucker." Adam squinted. He saw himself, strung up in a mix of tentacles and stone. He was no longer in his battle gear, but rather back in his white robe, but the symbol on his chest was upside down. Though that was far from the most shocking thing. His coloring was split down the middle, skin, hair, even wings- half white, half black. One eye was pale, glowing, completely white, the other was a dark, empty black with a single glowing golden orb that moved as Adam looked desperately around. His halo... his halo was shattered in pieces that still floated around his head, even that was split down the middle in color. On one side of his face, he could see his teeth had grown sharp, the other side of his mouth seemed to just be a white, glowing void. He ran his tongue along his teeth- ow- they were sharp, and it definitely seemed as if he had all his teeth though he could only see half of them.

"What the fuck did you do to me!?" Adam's heart beat faster, he struggled harder against his restraints.

"That's the neat thing about Falling~" Lucifer put his clawed finger between Adam's eyes and poked him. "You did it to yourself!" Adam realized when the finger drew close, he couldn't see it fully. He hesitated, closing each eye in turn and-

Fuck.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE YOU BASTARD SNAKE!?"

"You're eye?" Lucifer looked confused. "Oh shit, you're blind in that eye now, aren't you?" He put his hand on the black, silhouetted side of Adam's face. Sure enough, he tried to look for it, but he couldn't see a thing out of his right eye. "You know, I suspected as much? But it's nice to get some confirmation." He laughed, clapping his hands together, hat tucked under his arm. "Guess you know how Vaggie feels now, huh? And eye for an eye you little shit!"

"No, this is some kind of fucking mistake. I did everything I was supposed to- I am a God damned hero." This was the Devil's trickery. There was no way this was Adam's reality. This was either some fucked up nightmare (which was par for the course, recently) or this was an elaborate trick by the Fallen Morning Star to get some sick revenge on him.

"I mean you got the God damned part right." Lucifer laughed again. "Look at you! The golden child, the First Man, the original Dickhead finally getting his much-needed comeuppance! What a fucking happy day in Hell!" More confetti and balloons rained on Adam's head. "You have no idea how many Sinners are gonna want a piece of you. You are a wanted man, Adam, and I do not mean that in a good way." Lucifer's mouth curled into a smug smile as he leaned back in the air as if it were some kind of throne. "And I get to throw you to those wolves and enjoy the shitshow! Finally, Lucifer gets a win!" He took his hat to put it back on his head, but he paused mid gesture. His gold and crimson eyes widened for a moment and suddenly all the snide confidence melted away in an instant. "Oh no no no no no, are you fucking kidding me!?" The hat went up in flames. "The fuck did you do on your way down!?"

"The fuck did I do!?" Adam parroted back at him. "The fuck did you do to me to trap me here!?"

"I fixed this. You should be fine, you're talking, you're not screaming and trying to bite people, you're intolerable- but that's just your shitty personality..." Lucifer was starting to pace back and forth. The two Sinners watching him, the smiley, posh looking dude seemed rather amused, while they stoney, but familiar Sinner in the leather jacket just kept looking uncomfortable.

"Wow, fucking rude." Adam scoffed. "I am a goddamn delight. Just because I'm charming and not built like a knock off build-a-bear doesn't mean you can project your many insecurities onto me."

"Nope. Not doing this. This isn't my problem. You're not my problem." Lucifer went to the bed and pulled the plush comforter off of it.

"The fuck are you doing?" Adam tried to pull back as Lucifer approached him, blanket draped over his arm.

"You'll be fine. It's just gonna make you think it's nighttime." And with that, Lucifer tossed the blanket over Adam's head. "It's an angel thing."

"THAT'S FUCKING BIRDS YOU ASSHOLE!" Adam tried to get free as the tentacles released him only for his arms to get trapped under the blanket. He got lifted up and flung over Lucifer's shoulder (at least that's who he assumed had lifted him, as he could feel the claws through the fabric. He was a bit surprised his head wasn't hitting the ground.) "LET ME GO!" He started trying to kick, trying to flare out his wings, the right wing was doing fuck all, and the left wing was still trapped in the fabric. He felt an extreme burst of heat on his face before he felt movement.

"Dad? What are you doing?" The voice of that annoyingly perky princess could be heard from outside Adam's prison.

"Oh, hi Honeycrisp!" The closeness of Lucifer's voice confirmed that's who was carrying Adam like a sack of potatoes. "I'm just taking Adam outside really quickly. We won't be long! Also, do me a favor and lock that room no one goes in there for three days. Pretty please, if you don't mind. Toodaloo~"

"What?" The princess sounded confused.

"Don't you worry about a thing. I have this all under control!" If Lucifer was trying to sound convincing, it was failing rather epically.

"He set that whole room on fire; you know."

"He what?!" So that's what that burst of heat had been. It seemed princess what's-her-name hadn't been privy to what happened in the room where Adam had been taken prisoner.

"It's fine. It will be fine, it's just a bit of a biohazard." Lucifer tried to explain himself, but Adam was at his limit.

"HE'S HOLDING ME HOSTAGE! YOU'RE ALL ABOUT HELPING AND SHIT! SO, HELP ME!" He tried again to free himself, but the devil had him in a death grip. He was shockingly strong for such a small guy.

"Dad-"

"Ignore him!" Lucifer laughed. "He's just cranky."

"I mean if you take him, you take him." Adam heard Vagie's voice. Finally! Someone he knew!

"VAGIE! IT'S ME YOUR OLD COMMANDER!"

"It's Vaggie."

"What the fuck ever just GET ME OUT OF HERE!" There was a moment of silence in response to Adam's command before Vagie- or fucking Vaggie or whatever- finally spoke.

"So, are you gonna kill him? Tell me you're gonna kill him."

"TRAITOR!"

"Ugh, not yet." Lucifer sighed. "Not for lack of desire, but things got a little... complicated. Maybe later though."

"I'll help you." Vaggie spoke up quickly.

"You- fuck you too bitch! AHH!" Adam was suddenly on the move again as he heard a door open, and the rotting smell of brimstone tried to assault his nostrils through the thick fabric of the comforter.

"Don't worry, crabapple! Daddy has a very good plan to handle this." He heard Lucifer speak before suddenly the comforter was yanked off and Adam was flung high into the sky in one fell swoop. This was quite the throw, he went flying straight up toward the beautiful light of Heaven. But it was not actually a straight shot between Heaven and Hell, Adam knew this. But knowing it was coming didn't soften the blow as Adam smacked his face directly into the invisible barrier in the sky.

"Mother fu-" Adam spread his wings, if he could get to the door to Purgatory, he could get back to Sera, to Heaven. His wings flapped desperately as he started to fall. The white wing was working, but the black one- he could move it, feel it flapping- but the air just wouldn't catch, meaning he didn't fly so much as he fell sloppily, while spinning in a circle. Before he crashed into the ground he was caught by the back of his robe. He looked up to see Lucifer, wings out, holding him just inches from the ground. It was clearly a clone because Lucifer was also standing in front of him looking pissed.

"Okay Heaven! You're not fucking funny! Take your rabid dog back!" He wasn't looking at Adam, but rather above him. "We don't want him!" The clone holding him vanished and Adam Fell on his face.

"The fuck happened to my wings!?" He started to get to his feet before one of the tentacles from earlier erupted from the ground, wrapping around his waist. The smiling Sinner put a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, gesturing to Adam.

"I think you didn't throw him hard enough, may I?"

"If you don't put me the fuck dow-" Adam started to talk but Lucifer cut him off.

"Have at it."

"YOU COCKSUCKER!" Adam was thrown directly upward again. This time he knew it was coming so he readied himself to grab onto the entrance to Purgatory. Idiots. They were helping him escape. He used his one good wing to try and stabilize, it wasn't going to work great but it was something. All he had to do was open the door and-

Fuck.

Where was the door?

Adam had flown this route many times. He knew where the door was. At least... he should... Adam tried to think on it, but his head started to hurt, something wet started to drip out of his nose- and then he smacked face first into the barrier again. Damn he thought he had avoided that.

He fell back down only to be caught by the clone again.

"Well damn. I really thought I could send him back."

"You tried, and I respect that." Lucifer nodded to the Sinner before Adam was dropped on his face again.

"STOP FUCKING THROWING ME!" Adam got back to his feet, he was dizzy, but that might have been from the head trauma. Lucifer looked at him and frowned.

"Stop throwing him. He busted his fucking nose." Lucifer snapped and a mask wrapped around Adam's face. Adam started to try and pry it off, but it wasn't budging. Lucifer waved his hand and the droplets of blood on the ground vanished in a flash.

"Let me throw the angel!" The voice made Adam jump as he saw a small, one-eyed creature with fiery red hair staring up at him with her singular eye sparkling. "I already stabbed it!" She reached up toward him with grabby little hands and Adam backed away. His memory was a bit fuzzy but seeing her made his heart sink into his stomach. She grabbed the fabric of his robe and he screamed.

"Niffty!" The Princess picked her up quickly before she could get a good hold on Adam. He continued to back away.

"Go back inside," Lucifer nodded to the one-eyed abomination. "You're scaring him and he's already enough of a bitch without the added irritation of him being jumpy." He had the gall to look annoyed. The tiny creature curtsied before scurrying back into the hotel and Adam relaxed a bit, only to jump again as Lucifer continued shouting at the glowing form of Heaven in the sky. "I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW! OR EVER! IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING ALL-POWERFUL YOU HANDLE THIS SHIT!"

"Dad, what are you doing?" The princess and Vaggie were both outside too at this point. Adam had to assume everyone had just woken up because outside of Lucifer, the gargoyle, and the game show host, the others were in pajamas. Adam was annoyed to see that Vaggie looked fucking amused by everything.

"I think he's having a mental breakdown." The stoney faced Sinner had his hands in his pockets, watching everything with an unreadable expression. Adam wanted to hear him talk more, that voice was driving him crazy. He knew it. He knew that voice and the fact that he couldn't think of it was making him feel sick.

"No, I am just trying to return the broken merchandise to Heaven." Lucifer gestured at Adam. "But it appears as if they aren't taking returns at the moment." He turned back to the sky. "YOU COULDN'T EVEN BUY ME DINNER BEFORE YOU FUCKED ME, SERA!? I THOUGHT HEAVEN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLASSY." He picked a rock up off the ground and threw it at the sky. "FUCK YOU GUYS! DEAL WITH YOUR OWN GODDAMN PROBLEMS!"

"I can't believe I am actually getting to see an old man yelling at a cloud. I thought it was just a joke, but here we are." The Sinner sounded amused. Lucifer scoffed.

"Shut up, Cain."

Adam's blood froze in his veins. His eyes widened as he stared at the man made of stone. For a moment, he envisioned him with skin, more well-kept hair, two eyes... Cain. His son. How the fuck had he not recognized him!? His head was starting to hurt, but he ignored it as he felt a bit of panic set in. "Cain..." Adam repeated his name and his eldest son glanced over at him. He saw Cain instantly tense.

"Oh fuck no. No. Nope. No way. Don't Look at me." He started to back up, away from Adam, inching toward the Hotel door.

"Cain... wait." Adam tried to go toward him. "You shouldn't be here... you're supposed to be safe. They told me you would be safe- You aren't supposed to be out on Extermination Day." Adam had never seen his son's Sinner form before. The rocky exterior didn't make him feel great as it reminded him of the worst day of his life. But that was still his son.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Cain was still backing away from him. "I told you if he tried to talk to me, I was fucking out of here." He looked over at Lucifer who sighed, nodding his head.

"You're dismissed."

"Bye bitches." Cain started to crumble to pieces; Adam watched in horror as his son started to fall apart in front of him.

"CAIN! FUCK!" Adam ran forward grabbing the bits of rubble that lingered on the ground where Cain once stood. "SHIT! FUCKING DO SOMETHING!"

"Chill the fuck out, asshole, that's just him moving underground." Lucifer stood behind him examining his claws.

"Nice of you to give a shit now though." Cain's voice spoke beneath Adam, and he jumped. A hand of stone formed on the pathway in front of Adam and raised the middle finger. "FUCK OFF DAD!" And the hand vanished.

"Cain hates me." Adam stumbled back, falling on his ass, as the realization started to sink in. His oldest, his first child, the first real happiness he had felt outside of Eden, and it had crumbled to pieces right in front of him. "I can't believe he hates me... what did I do!?" He was answered with only silence as those around him exchanged glances.

"Is that a serious question?" Vaggie raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, no. Thinking about it now, I think I can get why he might be upset." Adam's head felt... strange. Perhaps it was just the shock of seeing what had become of his son, but he didn't feel... right. He stayed on the ground, staring at where Cain had vanished. He could hear an annoying ringing in his ears. That fucking tinnitus was back. Awesome. It was drowning out whatever bitching Lucifer and his little daughter were doing. Adam didn't care enough to try to listen. It's not like the Damned ever said anything important.

"Adam?" He could hear his name being said behind him, but he didn't feel like moving. He looked at his hands, examining the new coloration. There were small, almost unnoticeable little cracks on his fingers- white on the black hand, black on the white hand. He put his hand on the ground and it stung to put any pressure on them.

Damn. How was he supposed to play guitar if his hands hurt?

"Adam!" Lucifer pulled on his arm and Adam blinked. It took him a moment to respond, his body felt a bit heavy but he shook himself and snatched his arm out of Lucifer's grip.

"Don't fucking touch me, bitch."

"See Charlie? He's fine." Lucifer looked over at his daughter who looked unsure. "I am just going to take him back with me where he can't touch anyone, or annoy anyone, or cause any more issues. I will tell you what I know once this is all figured out. Shouldn't be long."

"I dunno dad," she looked unconvinced. "I really wish you could just tell me right now."

"Now now my little Ginger Gold, I can't give you answers I don't have." He picked the blanket up again. "But it won't be long before this is all behind us." He gave her a smile that Adam thought looked less reassuring and more panicked. But it seemed to appease the Princess.

"Okay. But I want a real explanation."

"Of course! Now, it's time for Adam to go night-night." Lucifer smiled at his daughter and Adam briefly felt a surge of envy. Why would anyone trust the fucking devil when his own son wouldn't talk to him?

"Wait, the fuck do you mean night-night?" Adam saw Lucifer coming toward him with that fucking comforter. "Oh hell no. I already am wearing this stupid mask. I am not going back in the blank-" before he could stop him, Adam was wrapped up in the blanket again like a fallen, angelic, cocoon. "GODDAMN IT STOP DOING THAT!"

"Oh, don't make such a fuss. You're fine. Just go to sleep."

"THAT'S BIRDS YOU DENSE ASS MOTHERFUCKER!" Adam started to thrash around inside his fluffy prison as he felt Lucifer take to the air. He could feel the wings smack him in the face, even through the blanket.

"Stop wriggling like that. I'll drop you."

"Last time you did this, you threw me into the fucking barrier." Adam retorted. The mask, combined with the blanket, was a little stifling.

"I was trying to give you back. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah, but you know you can't just throw me into Heaven. Purgatory still exists, dumbass."

"It was worth a shot. It's not like it damaged anything of value."

"I think you gave me a concussion."

"I stand by what I said."

"Why do I have to be in the blanket? You know I'm not gonna actually go to sleep, right?"

"I can't have you bleeding everywhere. You're a fucking toxic bitch right now and I am not about to let you fuck over Hell any more than it already is." He could feel Lucifer land. The resonance of his voice altered, and Adam knew they were inside now.

"Excuse you?"

"Lysander, Syn." Lucifer ignored him. "I will be in my workshop. Don't bother me."

"HEY OTHER PEOPLE! I AM A HOSTAGE GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Adam didn't know who Lysander and Syn were- but he figured he might try one more time to escape.

"As you wish, your highness." A male voice responded with absolutely no regard for Adam or his plight.

"Your blanket is very upset." That voice was female, though it sounded a bit... tinny. It reminded Adam slightly of how the Metatron sounded when she spoke.

"You can ignore the blanket. It's just venting."

"Don't ignore me! I am literally a prisoner!"

"As you wish, Master!" Master? Damn. Lucifer was a kinky bitch if he had some chick calling him master publicly. But Devil or not- Adam wasn't about to kink-shame.

"Thank you. You're both dismissed." Lucifer started walking again.

"You're both fucking terrible for leaving me!" Adam called after the two disembodied voices.

"Sorry man, none of my business."

"My apologies angry blanket! I must obey orders!"

"They aren't going to do shit unless I tell them to, they work for me." Lucifer walked for a bit longer before Adam felt him stop. He heard the sound of vigorous shuffling followed by some oddly adorable squeaks? Before Adam was tossed on the ground. He struggled to get free of his blanket prison and finally managed to escape.

"Ha! Free at last! So, you take me to your workshop where you create all your fucked up forms if punishment." He had heard Lucifer say where they were headed. "Dis...gust...ing?" He blinked as he realized they were in a workshop, sure. It did have work benches, tools, a rolling chair, but there were also... ducks? Rubber ducks. There had to be hundreds of them in barrels all shoved haphazardly to the side. That explained the squeaking. "Okay, I'll admit it, I'm sure this is for some fucked up evil shit, but I'm struggling to see the vision." Lucifer glared at him as he took a seat in the chair facing Adam, hands folded in his lap.

"Don't look at those. They're not important." He looked surprisingly... serious. "What is important is you."

"I mean, I am pretty fucking important." Adam gave him a smug look, but Lucifer didn't really react, not even an eyeroll or an exasperated sigh.

"What did you do, Adam?"

"What kind of vague ass question is that? I've done lots of things." Adam could get up and run for the door, but curiosity kept him sitting on the ground looking up at Lucifer who was scrutinizing him.

"How long have you been Corrupted?"

"Corrupted? I am not fucking corrupted. I was actually a very good human. That's why I went to Heaven. You couldn't corrupt perfection~" Adam smirked at him. Lucifer didn't look annoyed so much as he did focused (which was annoying because Adam was very much trying to get under his skin).

"Not corrupted by me. Corrupted with a capital 'C'. Nothing to do with Hell."

"If it's bad, it has something to do with you."

"That is objectively false, but I don't have the time, and you don't have the attention span for me to sit here and explain everything to you."

"Wow okay. Fucking rude."

"Adam, right this very second, I am trying to have a serious conversation with you and you're looking at the ducks."

"No, I wasn't." Adam was, in fact, looking at the ducks. There were just so many and in such a variety. It was distracting! That wasn't his fault. If anything, Lucifer was to blame for having all these distracting things in a room in which he was trying to have a serious conversation.

"Look," Lucifer sighed, leaning back on his bench. "I know you're an idiot, but I'm begging you to try and understand the words I'm saying to you because this is really important. If it wasn't, I would be laughing my ass off while leaving you to the Sinners that you've fucked over."

"If you want me to listen, maybe start by not insulting me." Adam glared at him. To his surprise, Lucifer nodded his head rubbing the skin between his eyes. Did he always look so... tired? Adam kind of remembered him looking like a small, maniacal, cave troll constantly cackling and scheming about his next victim.

"You're right. I am just frustrated because I have to deal with all this shit and also because I hate you."

"Mutal." Adam nodded.

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just going to come out and say it." That was a weird way for Lucifer to start a sentence and Adam wasn't sure he liked it. "You're sick, Adam. You're actually ill. There is something wrong with you."

"I thought you weren't gonna insult me anymore."

"I'm not." Lucifer reached over, taking Adam's hand. Adam tried to pull back, but Lucifer held it palm up. "This is going to hurt." He took a claw and cut Adam's palm. It didn't hurt so much as it just stung, but Adam wasn't exactly thrilled about it. A small amount of golden blood dripped out of the cut.

"Why the fuck did you do that!? It hurt." Adam tried again to move his hand, but Lucifer held it tightly.

"Watch." Lucifer instructed. "And try not to keep wiggling. I've already lost my hat, my gloves, my jacket, and my vest to your toxic fucking blood. I'd rather you not splatter any more on me."

"What am I supposed to be watching? It's gold blood. I'm fucking holy; that's what it looks like."

"Actually, you're Fallen, but that's still what it looks like, so I'll let you off on a technicality." Lucifer had him in a death grip and they both sat there just staring at Adam's hand in uncomfortable silence.

"What exactly am I supposed to be watching for?"

"Look I don't know how long it takes, but I know it's gonna happen so, shush." Lucifer put a claw to his lip (though Adam could tell it wasn't the one he had used to cut his hand. That claw was being held out as if it had touched something disgusting.) Adam squinted at his hand.

"Will it just like... not happen if I talk? Why do I have to shush?"

"Because I'm trying to focus."

"On... my hand...?" Adam was getting bored. Whatever point Lucifer was trying to make didn't seem worth it.

"Adam, you need to understand how fucking serious this is- AH HA!" Lucifer's grip tightened and Adam's attention was brought back to the cut. The blood that had bubbled free of his skin was starting to turn a rather... disgusting looking black. "See that's not fucking normal." Adam felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was...Lucifer actually telling the truth for once in his goddamn existence? Was something actually wrong with him? That was impossible- he had been in Heaven. Bad things didn't happen to people in Heaven, that was kind of the whole goddamned (God blessed?) point of the place.

"I was fine until I got here." Adam felt his heart start to race again. He felt queasy as he looked at the now black, viscous blood.

"No, that's the thing, I don't think you were fine. These symptoms suggest you've been sick for quite some time. I don't know what you did or how you even contracted this stupid thing, but luckily since you were a nearly unkillable angel, it's unlikely you spread it to anyone else. I say nearly because you did get stabbed to death by what basically equates to my daughter's hotel janitor."

"What are you talking about?!" Adam started breathing quicker, he tried again to pull back. "Y-you kidnapped me!"

"Wait..." Lucifer's expression seemed to soften for just a moment as he looked Adam up and down releasing his hand. "D... do you not remember dying?"

"I died forever ago, jackass." Adam felt a cold sweat start to bead on his skin, his heart was pounding, his mouth was hurting worse than before. "Hence the whole angel thing. I feel like you should know how that works."

"Yeah, no I got that." Lucifer gave him a look, but quickly softened his expression once again. Adam hated it. "Adam, the last Extermination Day, what do you think happened?"

"I... it's still happening?" Adam's head was spinning. No, it had definitely ended. Extermination Day was always such a fucking blur, from all the adrenaline and chaos. "I... you... kidnapped me... during the Exterminations..." That had to be right. Adam's hand went to the center of his chest. He didn't know why but he clutched the fabric of his robe, feeling his lungs start to constrict.

"Adam, calm down, just breathe."

"I am fucking calm!" Adam scooted back, away from Lucifer. He reached up, pulling at the mask over his face. Lucifer raised his hand.

"You can take it off, go ahead." And true to his word, the mask came off and Adam took a deep breath. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, he could see black smeared over the back of the pale, white flesh. Were his hands shaking or was he just imagining things?

"I don't want to be here." Adam got to his feet. There was that ringing in his ears again. He didn't know where he wanted to go, but he knew he couldn't be in this room any longer. Not with him.

"Adam, you can't go out and about in Hell. You could spread this to the Sinners. I think I can help you, but I need you to make a deal with me." Lucifer looked so fucking calm it made Adam's blood boil. Deal? Was he serious?

"You're shitting me. I'm not gonna enter a deal with you!" Adam backed up further. "Oh, I get it now!" Despite the ringing, Adam was starting to have a moment of clarity. "You're lying." He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "No, no, no I see it!" He started to laugh harder. "This is just some normal fucking thing that happens in Hell and you're just pranking me! Oh-ho! You almost had me, asshole- you were this fucking close!" He laughed harder, bordering on hysterics. Damn, he almost got fucking played by Lucifer of all beings. That would have been a tragedy. Lute would never have let him live it down.

"Adam, please..." Lucifer was still trying to milk this bit. It was almost sad. "You're panicking, I need you to take a deep breath and-"

"And what?" Adam cut him off. "Hear the rest of your lame ass practical joke? Make a deal with you so you can keep me out of Heaven? Let you fuck me over more than you already have!? I already caught on dude; you're fucking busted!" He put a hand on the door behind him.

"Don't run. I need you to make this deal for your own safety. I can help keep that Corruption at bay and you are not looked on favorably here. If you leave now, you might get hurt." Lucifer stepped toward him, Adam turned the knob, hand holding to it tightly.

"You think you can fucking keep me here against my will!? I'm the original man, bitch! The fucking model for humanity! You are just some past-his-prime, fired, imitation Archangel! You can't do shit to me."

"You're right. I can't force you into a deal. It has to be made of your own free will, but I'm telling you that it's the best choice."

"Yeah, that sounds really fucking believable. I can't believe I almost fell for this. EAT SHIT SATAN!" He flipped up his middle finger and threw the door open, sprinting full speed into the hall. There had to be an exit- wow there were ducks everywhere, Adam almost tripped over a few as he skidded through the corridor.

"Wait I'm not Satan and you know that!" He could hear Lucifer running after him. Yeah, Adam knew he wasn't Satan, but 'Eat shit Lucifer' didn't have the same alliterative ring to it. Adam had to find a way out, he was not about to be tricked again by that fucking snake. (Actually, that wasn't a fair comparison, snakes were pretty cool. They didn't deserve to be brought down by Lucifer's reputation, maybe he should have called him a: misshapen bag of feathers and eyes wrapped in an unconvincing suit of flesh. That was both more appropriate, and nicer to the snakes, who were innocent in all this.)

"Door, door, door where are you?" Adam mumbled to himself as he turned the corner, trying to outrun the devil himself. He could see the exit, luckily the house wasn't subtle, and the large arching doorway was rather indicative of an exit. "Gotchya!" Adam folded his wings so they wouldn't slow him down (as they had proved to be rather unreliable recently) and made a break for the door, throwing it open and taking off into the sweltering streets of Hell. (How did everyone wear long sleeves around here? It was actually hot as balls.) He didn't know where he was going. It's not like he really knew the layout. It wasn't something he ever felt it necessary to learn, as he was only down here once a year and he could get an idea of where things were from above. Of course, there was a lot more to Hell than just the Pride ring, but as that is where the Sinners were- that was the only ring he really cared to know.

Adam ran until he could barely see the house in the distance. He knew he was being followed, and he could guess Lucifer could probably teleport so Adam would need to get as much distance as possible. (It was a fucking cheap ass move to do that when Adam was on foot, but Lucifer was a cheater-so Adam wouldn't be surprised.) So, while he didn't have an exact destination in mind, he knew he just had to get far away. Maybe he could somehow get so lost Lucifer couldn't find him.

It wasn't long before he started to grow tired. That seemed... oddly quick. Was... something really wrong- no. No. This was just some sort of Hell fuckery. Some kind of trick so he would make the deal with Lucifer. He wasn't about to give him that fucking satisfaction. He could handle himself, goddamn it. Unfortunately for Adam, there wasn't a crazy number of Sinners out. The streets were busy enough, but nothing like what he was accustomed to seeing. But he also wasn't usually around at this time of day... at least he didn't think he was. (He actually had no idea what time it was, or how to even tell without a watch. It's not like there was really a sun to follow.)

"Gooood morning Hell!" Adam stopped as he heard someone talking. He saw TVs lined up in the window of a nearby store where two anchors were sitting at a desk in front of a logo displaying 666 News. "Three days since Extermination Day, and Hell is just a buzz with activity!" One anchor was clearly female, in a red dress, a necklace of pearls around an overly elongated neck. Her short blonde hair was expertly kept, her crimson eyes focused directly on the camera. Beside her was a man with perfectly groomed sandy hair wearing a full suit and a massive, creepy looking mask.

Three days? There... was no way. It couldn't have been that long... it felt like it had just happened.

"That's right, Katie!" The anchor in the gasmask replied with a voice that seemed to suggest he had an overly friendly sort of smile on his face, despite Adam not being able to see it. Damn, if anyone was sick in Hell, it had to be that guy, right? His whole fucking face was covered. Or maybe he was just ugly. That was one of Hell's biggest problems, so Adam couldn't be sure. "And we're here with all the latest information about how Hell is coping with its victory!"

Victory...?

"Coping is a terrible fucking word to use there, Tom. You are terrible at improv, so maybe stick to the script." Katie was still smiling but the tension in her voice carried clear over the television waves.

"I am actually great at improv, which you would know if you came to any of my performances, like you told Vox you were going to when you said you couldn't stay late the other night, but you were actually-."

"Improv is a fucking cult, Tom. If I knew I was going to die in the next Extermination I would spend the hour before watching your fucking performance because it would feel like a goddamn eternity." She shuffled the papers in her hand. "In other news: Hell's oldest citizen with the rock hard body was spotted out from his cave yesterday. Cain from Cain Organics was out and about sporting a new snake pet. I for one would love to see Cain's snake up close."

Cain Organics? White snake? (Wasn't that a band?)

There was a lot for Adam to process in that one sentence. There was a little logo that had a rock in the middle, surrounded by produce, and text reading Cain Organics wrapped around it. Did... did Cain have a fucking company here? Hot damn! His son was a big shot! Fuck yeah! Cain deserved it, he was one hell (no pun intended- or... well... pun slightly intended) of a farmer. These Sinners were fucking lucky to eat what Cain grew. His joy was short lived as the image shifted to one of his son with that fucking asshole wrapped around him in the form of a snake. Why couldn't it have been the fucking band!? Lucifer had a lot of gall to hang around Adam's son. If that fucker did catch up with Adam, he would need to punch him in the face.

But this gave him an idea (other than the face-punching one). He could find Cain! Talk to him. Clearly his son was not in the best of moods when they had talked earlier, but that was probably Lucifer's fault. All he needed to do was talk to Cain one on one. Then he could sort this whole thing out. But first, there was the matter of finding him. He had an entire company, so theoretically, it should be easy. But it's not as if Hell had any fucking signs. That would be too helpful. So, it was up to Adam to try and navigate this place to figure out where the fuck his son was living. (All the while dodging a devil who he was certain was looking for him. Fucking weirdo.)

Adam wandered around for a while, trying to make heads or tails of how any of the streets here were supposed to fucking work. It was like they were constructed completely arbitrarily and with no real purpose. Streets would just stop suddenly, or randomly change names, or split off into several smaller streets all with the same name. It was a goddamn wonder anyone was able to find anything in this place. Adam could only assume people navigated by taking note of the very unique aesthetics that varied dramatically from one area to another. Everything would go from being highly technological and futuristic, to being like a party scene, to looking like a military base. It was actually a bit jarring how different the architecture could look.

Still, if this theming was supposed to be representative of anything, Adam just needed to look for something either rock or plant themed.

Sure enough, he managed to find a part of Hell where everything looked more natural. AN area with large stone walls with climbing vines, a more old-timey aesthetic, the houses shaped more like huts. There were certainly a lot more Hellborns in this area, especially the weird little red ones. There were lots of Sinners too, the streets were becoming crowded as time went on. Adam tried to just ignore them, though he was getting a few odd looks here and there. (Probably checking him out. Even with this fucked-up color scheme, Adam knew he was hot shit.)

He kept wandering around the area till he found the largest building, the stone facade covering all the activity around it. Adam knew it was busy just from the sounds. He pushed the doors open and walked inside a large, bustling room. He started toward the door when he was blocked by one of those tiny Hellborns.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I'm looking for Cain." Adam could probably drop kick this thing, but he didn't want to start shit in Cain's place of business. That might upset him. He had clearly worked hard to establish himself in this cesspit. Perhaps, once this whole fiasco was settled and Adam was back in Heaven, he could take Cain back with him. Sure, Hell was forever- but that was for the peons who didn't have Adam as a dad. Sera could be convinced, after everything Adam had done, there was no way she could say no.

"You and every other desperate fucker this side of town." The Hellborn looked entirely unimpressed.

"Look, I'm his dad."

"And? Whoop-de-fucking-doo. You got an appointment or nah?"

"Yes. I do. Just ask Cain."

"Name?"

"I literally just told you I'm Cain's dad."

"Cain's Dad... is your name?"

"What!? No. It's Adam but that should be obvious."

"How is that obvious? Caine doesn't talk about his fucking family to all his employees that would be weird."

"Okay, yeah that would be weird." Adam crossed his arms over his chest. "Can you just let him know I'm here?"

"I'll tell him, but he's probably gonna ignore you, dude. Caine doesn't leave his office for shit until it's clock out time." The secretary walked off for a moment, Adam could see him talking on the phone, before he came back. "He says to wait right here and don't touch anything." The creature gestured to one of the many chairs that lined the walls. Adam was impressed that Cain was the sort of person that people needed an appointment to see, but Adam was his father and should have been immune to such rules. He could discuss that with Cain later.

He took a seat, hands folded in his lap. His fingers still hurt, but he was going to blame that on the fact that Lucifer had cut him. Yes, it was his palm and not his fingers that had been cut, and the pain had started way before Lucifer had actually cut him- but Adam didn't want to be logical, he wanted to be mad.

He did keep getting looks from the Sinners that would pass through. The room was surprisingly busy, but that probably meant that Cain was just popular. And why wouldn't he be? He was Adam's son. He had that charm and charisma just like his brothers. (The thought of his kids sent a feeling of unease through his gut. Which was strange since he was on great terms with all his children, a point that would soon be proven once he and Cain had their face-to-face conversation.)

"Adam, there you are!" He tensed instantly as Lucifer's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Adam stumbled back as he tried to get as far away as possible.

"Back off bitch!" Adam picked the chair up and winced a bit at the pain in his hands as he held it aloft to keep the devil at bay. "Once my son gets here, we are gonna kick your ass family style!" Lucifer's frowned deepened and he looked... uncomfortable...? Was that the right word? He held up both hands, clearly intimidated by Adam and his chair.

"Cain's not coming, Adam. He's the one who called me to come get you."

"Liar!" Adam almost snarled the words. He could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. "Cain is on his way and we are gonna end you once and for all!"

"Woah, take it easy, buddy." Lucifer brought his arms down slowly. "You're not thinking straight, you need to calm down."

"Stop acting so goddamn condescending! I am the one in power here! I am fucking divine! You should be cowering in my presence because even after everything you did to me I still got into those pearly fucking gates that locked your ass out."

"I'm not condescending and I'm not jealous!" Lucifer's horns started to come out. Adam could tell he was actually quite jealous because: why wouldn't he be? One look at Adam in comparison to Lucifer and the envy was self-explanatory. "I'm concerned."

"NO!" That was so much worse. "ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT! I DON'T WANT YOUR GODDAMN PITY!" How fucking dare he!?

"Adam! That's not what I s-" Lucifer was cut off as Adam threw the chair at him, full force. It would have been a direct hit, but Lucifer waved his hand, and it floated harmlessly back into place. His crimson and gold eyes narrowed, looking directly at Adam. "Don't. Run." His voice was stern.

"FUCK. OFF!" Adam could feel his breath quicken; his heart was pounding so loud it was drowning out that awful ringing in his ears. (Damn tinnitus was starting to feel like the new normal.) He had to get out of this place. He could find Cain later. But for right now he had to leave. The room was starting to feel a lot smaller. Adam's eyes darted toward the exit. Lucifer was blocking it. "I'M WARNING YOU!"

"Let me help you." Lucifer stepped forward but Adam backed up. The room began to stretch, up and down, side to side. Adam felt like he was on an out-of-control ride. He crouched down to the floor for a moment.

"GO AWAY!" He screamed the words so loud his tongue burned. He saw Lucifer hunch over and Adam took his opportunity to try and sprint past him. The door was so... so far. He kept running but it just got further and further away. He tried to use his wings, but they refused to flap.

"I have to kill you, Adam. You left me no choice." Lucifer was suddenly behind him, flaming sword in hand, wings outspread. His eyes were gone from his face, replaced by just his mouth, tongue long, dripping, and wagging as he leaned close. "You got a little something..." The head tilted downward, and Adam followed the movement. He looked down to see a sword sticking right through his chest.

"Stab the angel!" He could hear it whispered over and over again by every one of the fucking Sinners and Hellborns around him. Their faces were gone, replaced with a mix of teeth and eyes, as they started to surround him. "Stab stab stab the angel!" The voices echoed around him.

"NO!" Adam refused to go down like this. Not down here. Not to him. He grabbed the blade in his chest and pushed it back out. He couldn't even feel the wound anymore. He started thrashing with his bare hands. "I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU! I WILL LIVE!" With every word he spoke his mouth felt like fire and tasted like blood. But he was not about to lose.

All around him the monstrous forms cackled and laughed, their voices resonating in the massive room, reverberating back a thousand times words, combining with the incessant ringing in his ears. The devil laughed loudest of all. Adam grabbed him, shaking him violently trying to make the laughing stop.

"ADAM!"

Stop. He had to make it stop. It was hurting.

"ADAM!"

He just kept shaking the monster in his hands. Anything to make the pain go away.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

Adam blinked. There was nothing in his hands at all, in fact his arms were being restrained tightly to the ground. He wasn't standing off with one of Lucifer's many, wretched forms, but was lying face up on the ground. All the Sinners and Hellborns were gone. It was just him, annoying, ugly, regular Lucifer who was standing above him. His heart was trying to break out of his chest with how furiously it was pounding. His tongue felt like fire. "Wh..." He tried to talk, but he winced. He was breathing so quickly it was difficult to form any sounds. He was freezing cold, but he could feel the sweat that was beading on his forehead.

"Just relax..." Lucifer looked relieved as Adam craned his head trying to see what was holding him down.

"Wha... what happened...?"

"You tried to attack me. Even tried to attack Cain when he was evacuating his employees."

"N... no..." Adam felt the bindings loosen a bit and he moved his arms as much as he was allowed. It seemed he was being permitted to sit up, so he did, but his legs were still frozen in place, bound by golden chains. "I... would..n't." It was painful to talk. "N... not Cain."

"Well, you did." Cain was leaning on the doorway that led deeper into the building. "And you made a fucking wreck of my front office. I'm lucky you didn't kill any of my employees. Vox is gonna have a goddamn field day with all this shit if I don't pay a whole lot of fuckers off." He looked so upset... but there was just no way. Adam wouldn't attack Cain. "So, I hope you're fucking happy."

"I can help you try and cover this up." Lucifer trying to help only made Adam more upset. That was his son he wouldn't have tried to hurt him. Cain's birth was the first time he and Eve knew that they could still be happy- just as happy as they had been in the garden.

"What's wrong with him anyway? Did he go into douchebag overload? Or has he finally fucking snapped?" Cain was talking about him like he wasn't even there.

"I am not one hundred percent sure. But if he would let me help him, I could give you a full answer." Lucifer joined in the discussion. No one seemed interested in including Adam in the talk of his own fate.

"Goddamn it dad, you couldn't just keep ruining my life from Heaven? You didn't fuck me over enough upstairs? You had to come down here and make absolutely certain I was miserable?" Cain glared at him.

"I wouldn't-"

"You attacked me." Cain's response was so flat Adam was a bit taken aback. He shook his head, trying to take a deep breath and slow his hyperventilation.

"N... no that's not... true..."

"Oh, so because I'm in Hell I'm a liar? Fucking love that."

"Cain... no I-" Adam was cut off as Cain pointed a remote at the TV that sat on the far wall behind the desk. Adam blinked as he saw himself throwing the chair and Lucifer putting it back. Adam watched in disbelief as he started to stare vacantly for a moment, his head lulling on his shoulders, before it snapped up and his body went rigid. He watched as he started jumping at the closest Sinner to him, but Lucifer pulled him back with golden chains. He watched himself biting at the chains on his wrist as Cain opened the door to the building's interior and he and Lucifer tried to move everyone away (though several of Hell's residents had stopped to take pictures on their phone.) Adam saw the golden chains turn black in his teeth and crumble as he launched himself directly at...

Cain.

He was full force trying to attack him. Adam might have hit him too, but his head reeled back, and a golden chain appeared around his neck, forcing him backward as Cain got the last of the onlookers out. Every time the Adam on the screen opened his mouth, the feed would become staticky, distorted. There was no sound, except when Adam would try to talk the TV would let out a high pitched beep that felt as if it were stabbing into his brain. Adam watched as the gold chains continued to appear, binding him to the floor where he continued to thrash and snarl. The feed stopped and Adam could see them both looking at him.

"Do you believe me now?" Cain lowered the remote, his single eye locked onto Adam's only working one. (Looks like they had something in common down here: lack of depth perception). Adam could feel himself trembling, but he wasn't sure if it was from the sudden, intense chill in the room, or from the wild array of emotions all surging through him. He couldn't slow his breathing, the shaking in his hands only got worse.

He had tried to attack Cain...

And he couldn't even remember doing it.

Adam blinked. He... honestly couldn't remember much of anything about the past few minutes.

Fuck.

Maybe... there was something wrong with him...

"I..." He tried to breathe normally, tried to control himself. "I'll make the deal."

Chapter Text

"Okay Adam, let's go back to my house, and we'll do this."

"You're not gonna put me in the blanket again, are you?" Adam glared up at him, starting to already regret his agreement to this stupid fucking deal. Maybe he didn't need to do this. Maybe this was all a fucking lie and Lucifer was just milking it like the piece if shit he was- Adam's thoughts stopped abruptly as he saw Cain picking up the scattered papers that had been dropped by the fleeing hellions when Adam had attacked them.

Fuck.

He had to do this. He couldn't go apeshit like that again. At least, not somewhere where it could hurt his son. On the off chance that this was true and he had some kind of sickness, he couldn't let it hurt his Cain. He already let Seth and Abel down- by being trapped here.

Abel... poor Abel... Adam didn't even say goodbye to him before he left. He used to spend so much time with him but lately he just... got pushed to the side. And now Adam was here, and he might never see Abel again. Seth hadn't talked to him since the Exterminations were revealed. Abel had tried but Adam and Lute had just... brushed him off.

"No blanket. I didn't bring it. But you need to stay close to me." Lucifer offered his hand to Adam to help him up, but he smacked it to the side, wincing as he put his hand to the ground to push himself back onto his feet.

"Whatever." Adam crossed his arms over his chest. He felt... confused, uncertain and he hated it. He hated how he couldn't just talk to Cain, convince him that he did this for him, that Cain was supposed to be safe. He walked toward Cain who was still cleaning up. "Cain I-"

"Don't talk to me. You've done enough today, don't you think," Cain didn't even turn to look at him. He just kept cleaning. Adam moved to try and help pick something up, but Cain grabbed his hand to stop him. "Can you just leave me alone? I have so much fucking work to do because of this whole fiasco that I'm already gonna be working late. So, thanks a lot, dad."

"Come on," Lucifer gestured for Adam to come back to his side. "We should get out of here so Cain can get back to work."

"O... okay." Adam wanted to refuse, to shout or make some kind of scene. But... one look at Cain and he just closed his mouth. "Let's get out of here." Usually, he would leave with two middle fingers up in the air and a crude comment; but he didn't really feel like insulting a building on which his son had clearly worked very hard. So rather than shouting and slamming the door he gave a quiet: "Bye, Cain, I'll see you later."

"Hopefully not," he heard Cain sigh under his breath. That stung.

"At least no one got hurt." Lucifer opened the door and Adam shoved past him, the streets feeling less sweltering than he remembered. He still felt a chill that seeped through his skin down to his core. So, despite the heat, he shivered. "We can make the deal at the mansion."

"I don't care." Adam hugged himself for warmth. He hated the way Lucifer's voice sounded. He missed the bitterness and vitriol from earlier. Even the smug song was better than this... almost gentle fucking pity. Adam was the first man, the basis for humanity. He should be envied not pitied, especially not by the goddamn Devil. "Was that Cain's building?"

"One of them. It's a packaging plant." Lucifer looked briefly behind them. "He's got a few different work buildings, and if you want to be technical, he owns this whole territory." He gestured around them. "Which is why I can be out and about. Cain doesn't like to be spied on. Once we get out of his domain I'm going to change into a bird. You..." He looked Adam up and down, "Tuck your wings in, maybe? You look like a fucking target. Not much we can do about your halo."

"Well, what the fuck did you do with your halos?" Adam didn't appreciate being scrutinized by the entire reason he was in this position. He knew for a fact that Archangels actually had two halos, so theoretically Lucifer should have it twice as hard hiding them.

"They're broken, just like yours is. And I can shape-shift so they're not always visible. You don't have that luxury." Lucifer waved his hand and a similar top hat to the dumb one the Devil liked to wear- except in black- appeared above Adam and dropped on his head. "Problem solved."

"I look stupid." Adam folded his wings in as he was told; but he started to pull at the hat Lucifer had forced upon him.

"You do, but that's not my fault. The hat is, honestly, the most stylish thing about your whole ensemble." Lucifer whacked his hand with the staff to stop Adam from pulling it off. Adam found he greatly preferred this sort of banter and bickering to the sympathetic way Lucifer had been treating him earlier. He didn't need his fucking pity; it was about time the devil remembered that. "Now keep it on, will you?"

"Bitch, I might." He tugged at the hat again and Lucifer smacked his hand with the cane just like before.

"Stop it."

"No." Adam smirked at him. Lucifer glared at him for a moment before vanishing. Adam felt a weight on the top of the hat, shifting as something crawled along it. He reached up to touch the hat again but touched something sharp. "Ow! Sunnovabitch!"

"Ha! Get wrecked." Lucifer peeked under the brim of the hat from his position on the top and Adam found himself face-to-snout with a white porcupine.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Adam glared at the little creature before it returned to the top of the hat.

"I said don't touch it, jackass."

"This is so dumb, can't you just like... teleport us to your house?"

"You wouldn't like that. It is easy for me to do because I'm an angel, but as a human, you wouldn't react well. You'd probably puke everywhere, and I really don't want to burn more of my shit just because you can't keep your lunch down."

"Why do you keep burning it anyway?" Adam was interested enough in why Lucifer seemed to have picked up pyromania to add to his ever-growing collection of crippling mental illnesses.

"Quite frankly, it's because that black gunk inside you is probably fucking toxic and I am not risking this spreading any further than you." The porcupine on his hat replied as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Probably." Adam repeated the word back at him. "You are using a lot of weasel words for a porcupine. Do you not actually know what you're talking about, devil?"

"Right now, I'm just impressed that you know the term: weasel words."

"Hey, shut the fuck up. I know stuff. I'm smart."

"It's nice being in Hell and having the luxury of lying, isn't it?" Lucifer sounded smug, and Adam could guess he had as self-satisfied a smirk as a porcupine could have on his stupid little face.

"Listen here you little shit-"

"We're here." Lucifer hopped off the hat and transformed back into himself before his feet hit the ground. "See? You made it without being attacked. All thanks to my hat." He tapped the top hat with his cane, and it vanished. Thank fucking God. Adam grabbed one of the pieces from his halo, examining it for a moment. It had lost the soft warmth that it usually had. Instead, it felt as cool and lifeless as a stone in his hand. He sighed a bit and put the piece back above him. It floated back into its original place without issue. "You're not thinking about running off again, are you?" Lucifer stopped in the doorway and turned to look back over his shoulder.

"No." He had actually been considering it, but there was no way he was going to admit Lucifer was right. "Just thinking about how dumb you look."

"... right." He went back to opening the door and led Adam back inside. This time he could see even more ducks than he had initially noticed. The fuck was with all the ducks? There were so, so many of them and Adam had yet to figure out their nefarious purpose. Lucifer led Adam back to the workshop. He gestured for Adam to sit on one of the benches, which he did. Lucifer closed the door, it seemed like he was locking it too, before he took a seat across from Adam.

"Why'd you lock the door?" Adam met his gaze, locking eyes.

"Because last time we tried to do this, you freaked out and ran all the way to Cain Organics, which is actually a pretty good distance away. So, I'm annoyed, but also kind of impressed."

"I was uncomfortable with the way things were progressing and chose to remove myself from the situation. It's a Heaven thing called: De-escalation. You wouldn't get it."

"I'm actually very familiar with the concept and- drawing from my immense well of knowledge- I can safely say that De-escalation- while it is a practice taught in Heaven- doesn't typically involve running out of a room in a blind panic while telling someone to, and I quote: Eat Shit."

"It's a newer technique, you probably weren't in Heaven when they taught it. You know, cause you got kicked out."

"So did you."

"That's still up for debate."

"Adam, can we please have a serious conversation? For like... just five minutes? That's all I'm asking." Lucifer put his hands on his knees, sighing heavily. Adam tilted his head to the side.

"What do you call what we were just having?"

"If that's you being serious, I would hate to see what it's like when you're being a sarcastic dickhead."

"It's very similar, I can see your confusion." Adam smirked at him, and Lucifer rolled his eyes. "But I promise you I can be much more sarcastic."

"Are we making a deal, or were you just bullshitting me to get Cain to think you were actually trying to be a better father?"

Adam's smile immediately faded. Low fucking blow. He remembered Cain's expression, the way he had looked at Adam, the fucking fire in his eyes. "Leave Cain out of this."

"If it makes you listen, I'll use his name as much as I Goddamn please." Lucifer's retort just made Adam narrow his eyes. "You lost control back there and tried to attack him, your own son. Doesn't make you feel very good, does it?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"You feel pretty damn shitty, don't you?" Lucifer met his gaze. "That's what it wants... that sickness... it feeds on negativity, enhances all your worst traits. I mean, you were always an insecure little bitch, but this is so much worse than you ever were back in Eden."

"I am not insecure." Adam felt the anger rising inside of him again. He could hear the faintest sound of ringing in his ears.

"But you acknowledge that you're a little bitch. I respect that." Lucifer was smirking, Adam could feel his own upper lip start to curl into a snarl, his fists started to clench, hair standing up on the back of his neck. Lucifer looked him dead in the eyes. That high pitched sound growing louder, burrowing into his brain. It was almost painful, at this point.

"How bad is that ringing in your ears right now?"

"W... what?" The ringing dissipated and Adam's hands unbleached as anger was replaced with confusion and unease. He hadn't mentioned the ringing. Not once. "H- how the fuck-"

"I may not know with one hundred percent certainty what's going on, but that doesn't mean I don't have theories." Lucifer spoke calmly, but Adam found his heart was still racing, his mouth felt dry. "I've seen Corruption before. Admittedly, not for a very, very long time- at least not in an angel but, the point still stands. I know some of the more common symptoms."

"R... right..." Adam didn't know what else to say.

"Have you been experiencing any other strange symptoms- aside from the blacking out and attacking people thing? Any unusual pain? I mean, Falling hurts in and of itself, so it might be nothing, but I gotta ask."

"I um..." It almost was starting to feel more like a doctor's appointment than an interrogation. It felt weird divulging anything to the literal reason for his suffering. But at the same time, on the off chance that this was true, and Adam might actually be sick... "My... mouth... hurts..." It might be worth it to at least hear him out. "And my hands... well- fingers."

"Your mouth, huh? Not shocking." Lucifer reached forward and took Adam's jaw in his hand, forcing his mouth open. "Say: ahhhhh~" Adam tried to pull back, but the devil was strong when he wanted to be.

"Ahhhhh..."

"Stick your tongue out a bit."

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"I need to see something, so stick your tongue out." Lucifer had made the point about the ringing in his ears, so despite how fucking weird it felt, Adam did stick his tongue out. "Ooooo..." Lucifer spoke with the same energy as a kid hearing their classmate get called to the office. "You said something you shouldn't have..." He released Adam's mouth and instead grabbed both his wrists, examining his hands. "You also touched something you shouldn't have. These little markings on your fingertips and tongue... I thought they were just part of your Sinner coloration but oh ho ho was I wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Adam didn't like the tone Lucifer had taken, and the words themselves seemed annoyingly vague. "Touched something... What like my dick?"

"The world doesn't revolve around your fucking penis, Adam. Focus. These," Lucifer pointed to the think lines on his hand, "they're not just markings, those little cracks in your skin... they're burns. Explains the pain, doesn't it?"

"Burns?" Adam repeated in disbelief. "How the fuck would I get burns on my fucking tongue!? I mean, hands? Sure. I'll buy it. Hell's a fucking trash fire, maybe I touched something. But my mouth!? I haven't even eaten since I got here!" His stomach growled a bit as if emphasizing his point.

"Actually, you had about half an apple, but you threw it back up along with everything else when you vomited all over my daughter's nice hotel floor." Lucifer replied with a small shrug. Adam glared at him.

"I don't even like apples."

"Yeah, that was on me. I had to give you something to try and shake you out of that trance you were in. Kinda like what happened to you back at Cain Organics, but that time you were able to come back on your own, without my help. I like to think that's improvement. Though the real improvement would be you not going absolutely batshit and feral in the first place. But baby steps, I guess."

"None of what you just said explains anything about the fucking burns you just diagnosed me with. I'm starting to think you're not even a real doctor." Adam folded his arms, as if attempting to hide his (possibly) burned fingers.

"I never said I was a doctor." Lucifer gave a little shrug. "I just said I have seen this before. If you want a doctor that's Raphael and his line of snippy underlings."

"Then how the fuck do you know my fingers are burned!?"

"Because I know enough. I have seen this shit before, though not for a very... very long time- which I already said." Lucifer sat back in his chair again, leaving Adam alone for the time being.

"Listen none of this fuckery started happening in until I got here! I was fine. Nothing hurt! I wasn't blacking out! And when I attacked people, it was because they were dirty Sinners who deserved it." Adam scoffed. Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, there's a lot to unpack in that last sentence, but I'm not qualified for that." He held his hands up as if in forfeit. "So, we're just gonna ignore it for now and instead focus on the fact that you only started feeling shitty once you got to Hell. Shocking, I know." Lucifer didn't sound shocked so much as he did tired. "That's the thing with Heaven, the innate nature of if it makes you feel good. I mean it's Heaven. No pain, no fear, no doubt and that's usually really great...However," he clapped his hands together, "it can also act as a mask when something is wrong. Not intentionally, of course, but all those feel-good vibes can cover up deeper lying issues. It's rare, but it can happen."

"So, you think people just... didn't notice I was bleeding black!?" Adam glared at him from his seat on the opposing bench.

"When was the last time you bled while you were in Heaven?"

"..." Adam had to think about it. Despite the dangerous nature of his job, he didn't really get hurt. Such was the benefit of being all powerful, and all-around beloved. "Okay... you have a point."

"I'm going to make a deal with you, hopefully my magic will be enough to hold this Corruption at bay until I figure out what's going on. I was able to bring you back from the brink with magic before, so this just might be enough- maybe." Lucifer finally got to his feet.

"That's it? Just keep it at bay? Can't you fix it?" (Adam still wasn't sure how much of Lucifer's story he actually believed, but on the off chance he was telling the truth, Adam had to ask.) "Aren't you supposed to be powerful or some shit? Master of corruption?"

"I thought I was just an imitation Archangel." Lucifer threw Adam's own words back at him with a coy smirk.

"Shut the fuck up." Adam glared at him. Lucifer looked bemused by his reaction.

"Look, if we're talking about me: I was really more temptation than corruption. I'm all about choice and free will. But this isn't about me, because this isn't regular corruption, this is Corruption with a capital C. It's not Infernal, it's..." He took a deep breath, looking Adam directly in the eyes. "Adam... it's Eldritch."

"Gesundheit."

"Of course you don't fucking know what that is. Why would you?" He let out a little sigh. "Just know that there is more out there than just Heaven and Hell."

"But you can fix it... right?" Adam finally untucked his arms, putting his hands on his knees, leaning forward a bit.

"I... don't know. It's been a really long time since I've dealt with this, Adam. I can't make promises, I mean... I can and then just lie to you, but I want you to know exactly what to expect when we make this deal. I can't grantee that I can make you better, but I might be able to stop you from getting worse."

"C..." Adam took a deep breath. Whether or not he fully believed Lucifer was irrelevant. He had to ask. "Can I die from this?"

"I mean you're already dead," Lucifer's poorly timed joke was met with a glare from Adam. "But... I don't think dying is the worst-case scenario here. Like I said, Adam, I haven't seen anything like this for a while. But if memory serves... what you become if you give in to this Corruption, won't be living much of an afterlife."

"What I become?" Adam repeated the word. That had been a purposeful choice on Lucifer's part. Adam couldn't shake the feeling that the Devil was lying to him, in a sense. Perhaps not about the Corruption in and of itself, but definitely about the amount Lucifer knew. "The fuck is going to happen to me?"

"If you make a deal with me? Nothing, probably." So many noncommittal words. (With the number of lawyers in Hell it was not shocking that Lucifer knew how to avoid any actual promises.) "But it's gotta be better than the alternative, right?" He offered his hand toward Adam. "So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

"What are the exact terms of this deal?" Adam knew from experience to ask follow up questions. He'd fallen for the Devil's trick once and he and his family had spent their whole lives paying for it.

"I will protect you: from the citizens of Hell, from those up in Heaven, from those Outside... and from yourself. In return, you will tell me what you know: everything about what you might have come into contact with that Corrupted you. You can't hold back anything, no matter who you're trying to protect. Does that sound reasonable?" The hand was still held forward.

"I... guess..." Fuck. This was a lot to take in and Adam felt as if he hadn't stopped since the moment he had woken up, strung up like a hostage in the middle of a hotel room with Lucifer- which even with context was still a rather shitty way to start one's morning. (In fact, the context might actually make it worse.)

"Then," Lucifer's hand flourished and an apple appeared in it. "Let's make a deal, shall we?"

"Oh fuck no. I'm not eating an apple. Are you shitting me with this?" He tried to smack it out of Lucifer's hand, but Adam was learning rather quickly that the Devil was much stronger than he appeared.

"It's how I make deals! It's not personal it's just that I have a theme and I gotta stick with it, you know?"

"I'm not eating the fucking apple." Adam repeated.

"It's just one bite. One bite isn't gonna kill you."

"One bite literally damned humanity."

"Not everyone has the same weird apple-beef that you do. One bite. Don't be a pussy." Lucifer leaned forward and began rubbing it against Adam's mouth. "You know, this is actually the second time I've had to do this to you in twenty-four hours, but you were super bitey last time, so I doubt you remember it."

"Listen he-AH" And with that, there was an apple in Adam's mouth. Lucifer got up from his seat across from the newly Fallen Sinner to put an arm around his shoulders, his other hand still holding the apple.

"You already verbally consented to the deal. This just seals it. Or don't bite it and I just get to enjoy this quiet forever."

CHOMP.

Adam chewed the bitter fruit and begrudgingly swallowed. "If this is some kind of fucking trick I will-"

"I know you're in the middle of threatening me right now, and trust me, you are very scary, but," Lucifer handed him a trash bag that he had materialized out of nowhere. "You're probably going to throw up again, so if you don't mind just aiming for the bag, that would be great."

"What ar-" Adam didn't get two words out of his mouth before the nausea hit him like a brick and he started throwing up again. He did use the bag, not so much by choice, as he could feel Lucifer's magic holding his hands on it and bringing it up to his mouth. It seemed he really didn't want him to mess up another floor.

"There you go." Lucifer sounded pleased with himself. The moment Adam was done, the bag went up in flames and Adam remained hunched over, glaring at Lucifer. "Don't you feel better?"

"NO!"

"Yeah, the vomiting is kind of a side effect to our deal. Whatever's inside you didn't like having to share with my magic." Lucifer sounded rather dismissive of the whole thing- which was easy for him because he wasn't the one who was heaving his guts out. "That should be the last time it happens though."

"Awesome. Because that fucking sucks." Adam wasn't exactly in the best of moods. He had more or less just sold his soul in exchange for a bite of his least favorite food and an opportunity to start throwing up. Maybe this was all some kind of trick, but it was a hard call, and when it came to Cain, Adam couldn't risk the off-chance Lucifer was telling the truth.

"It's no treat for me, either Princess." Lucifer retorted. "You think I want to have you around all the time? Because I will be the first to tell you that I would much rather let you run amok and get your ass handed to you in increasingly violent and hilarious ways- but the safety of my people does come first. Regrettably." That seemed like an oddly noble sentiment for the Devil, and that contradicted Adam's perception of him, so he chose to ignore it. It was probably just a matter of convenience rather than caring. Lucifer protected Hell because if he didn't Heaven would... get mad or something. Adam had no idea how all that worked. It was above his pay grade.

"So now what? Do I get to live here?"

"Regrettably, yes."

"Aw yeah. Fucking sweet." Well, his soul was fucked, but at least Adam had a one-way ticket to the ritziest digs in Hell. "There have gotta be like a billion rooms in here. Do I get to pick mine? Is there a pool?"

"Your room is assigned, kinda, when I remember to do it. Eventually. Maybe. But, yes there is a pool but it's a privilege."

"Booooooo."

"Hey, you are getting to live in my house. You think I'm happy about that? Because I am really not. The idea of you being around constantly is my own personal Hell."

"Aw, thank you."

"The fact that you took that as a compliment is the exact reason I am unhappy about all of this." Lucifer sighed. "But this isn't some kind of rent-free scenario. You're not in Heaven anymore. You're in Hell, and if you stay here, you have to contribute."

"Contribute... how?" Adam had not been privy to this part of the deal when it was struck.

"I dunno Adam, housework or something?" Lucifer threw his hands up. "You do know how to do housework, don't you?"

"I mean, yeah, but I'm not your fucking maid."

"Then maybe I don't let you stay here. Maybe you can sleep outside."

"Where I can get my allegedly Corrupted blood all over the innocent" He put the word in air quotes "Sinners?" Sinners were far from innocent, or else they wouldn't have ended up in Hell in the first place. Lucifer glared at him. He opened his mouth, looking ready to make an argument, but the reality of his situation seemed to be sinking in.

"Just don't make the mess worse I guess."

All right! The bare minimum! That Adam could do. "No problem, shithead."

"Oh, I hate every bit of this." He heard Lucifer mumble under his breath before he let out a heavy sigh. "You still have to hold up your end of the deal. You have to tell me how you got this Corruption to begin with. So! Lay it on me bitch-boy, what did you get up to when you were merrily skipping your way through Purgatory on your way to slaughter all my people?"

"... what?" Adam blinked.

"Come on, Dickmaster." Lucifer's condescending tone wasn't particularly appreciated. "You didn't get Corrupted in Heaven because the Archangels burn that shit on sight. There's no way it made it to you. You have to fly through Purgatory to get to me, and that place is actually dangerous. Maybe you wandered off the path? Saw a sexy Shoggoth waving its tentacle in a sultry way?"

"The fuck is a Shug goth!? You know I don't like goth chicks!"

"I don't believe that."

"Okay, I do kinda like goth chicks. But that doesn't mean I know when one is Shug or whatever."

"A Shoggoth isn't a goth, Adam, it's a horrible amalgamation of tentacles and teeth that screams. Have you seen anything like that in Purgatory? More importantly... did you touch it?"

"Why the fuck would you think I would touch something like that!?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Adam- or do. I don't really care." Lucifer reached over, putting a hand on Adam's shoulder. "But you absolutely strike me as the type to see a flailing, screaming, oozing mass, of teeth and eyes, and want to poke it."

While that did sound like something Adam would do, he chose to be offended rather than admit it. "No, I wouldn't. That's fucking dumb and doesn't even sound fun at all." It did. But the point still stood Adam was positive he had done no such thing. "And no, I didn't."

"Okay then, did you find a neat little trinket on your journey? Something that you just had to grab with your, grimy bare hands?"

"Bro, I wear gloves in my Exorcist uniform."

"Yeah, okay. Point." Lucifer was quiet for a moment. "Maybe you took the trinket back and touched it after you got- no. The Archangels would have sensed that the moment you crossed the pearly gates. Okay so maybe you didn't find a cursed object..." Lucifer looked deep in thought. Adam considered mentioning that the Archangels actually weren't home, at the moment, but that information would probably just mean he would be stuck here longer. Plus, Sera would fucking flip if he let someone in Hell know they were away. Especially Lucifer. If they knew the guard dogs were gone, all of Hell could rise up against Heaven. And that could endanger Abel and Seth.

"I don't just pick up random shit I find in Purgatory. Despite popular belief, I actually know that place is dangerous." Adam had been warned before he ever entered the labyrinth between realms. He had actually lost Exorcists on the way down.

"Okay, fine. Did you find any unusual boo-" Lucifer started to laugh before he could even finish his sentence. "Boo-" He laughed again, harder, struggling to get the words out as he gasped for air between cackles. "Boo...ks..." he finally got it out, though the word was breathy and difficult to understand.

"Books?"

"Sorry I just... the image of you reading books is just-" Lucifer broke down into laughter again. Adam glared at him.

"I can read, asshole."

"I mean, sure... but do you?"

"I... yeah! I read!" Adam didn't do it too often, especially not anymore. But he used to! (There seemed to be a number of things Adam had once enjoyed that he had gradually stopped doing overtime. That seemed counterproductive, considering Heaven was supposed to be all about enjoying the little things.) "But it's not like I stopped to get a coffee and a book when I was flying through Purgatory! I had a mission, after all." The very idea seemed a little farfetched when he said it out loud. "So no, I didn't read..." huh "anything..." Wait a second. "Suspicious...?" Adam trailed off.

"Adam?" The laughter was gone from Lucifer's voice, and he seemed to be completely focused on Adam.

"Huh..." Adam's head felt a little... off. It was funny. He hadn't really thought about it in years, but he had a vague memory of a piece of paper being shown to him by...

Odd... he couldn't remember...

In fact, the whole memory seemed to be more dreamlike than anything else. Even trying to remember the paper... or was it a book? Was it just a page...? The whole thing felt so unreal...

Maybe it had been a dream.

You have to... Adam... we need you.

He could remember words... some of them, but the voice in his mind was as distorted as the image in his brain. He couldn't even remember where he was standing when this conversation had taken place.

"Adam?"

Adam's chest felt heavy. It felt harder to breathe, like something was holding him so tightly it was starting to crush him. He heard that ringing in his ears again, his face felt flushed and hot. He couldn't get enough air to even talk.

"ADAM!"

"Nnn?" Adam blinked. He was somehow lying on his back on the cold floor staring up at Lucifer leaning over him. He could feel a cold sweat on his skin.

"Don't you dare bite me..." Lucifer seemed to be talking more to himself but his eyes widened seeing Adam's attempt to sit up. "Woah!" The golden chain appeared around Adam's neck again and he was forcibly pulled back to the ground. "No bitey!"

"I am not gonna fucking bite you, you goddamn weirdo! I don't want your shitty blood in my mouth!"

"Oh, you're you. I had to be careful. Not that the Corruption would affect me much, anyway, being as powerful as I am- but that still doesn't mean I want to deal with it."

"Let me get up you asshole!"

"Very well." Lucifer nodded his head and the chains vanished. Adam was finally able to sit back up. He felt... kind of dizzy. He shook his head and the feeling seemed to dissipate. "Just had to be sure."

"W... what happened?" Adam blinked several times and the room looked back to normal (pitiful, but normal).

"You um... had like... I dunno... a seizure or something. Your eyes rolled back and you kinda convulsed. But you seem fine now." Lucifer's easy-going tone didn't really match the severity of his words. "Super unexpected, actually. BUT!" He held up both hands doing a little spin in the chair in which he was now sitting. (It seemed he had forgone his seat on the bench in favor of a rolling swivel chair. Adam would ALSO have wanted a rolling swivel chair over the bench- and especially over the floor- but Lucifer hadn't even offered it to him. Fucking ass.) "You didn't go feral this time, so I am going to take that as a win." He clapped his hands together, sounding far too pleased with himself. "So definite improvement. Not the seizing, but the lack of biting." He looked back at Adam for a moment and the newly Fallen First Man glared at him with all the hate he could muster. Lucifer waved the look away. "Ah you get it."

"I started fucking convulsing and all you care about is that I didn't BITE someone!? Are you shitting me right now!?"

"It's the little victories, fucker." Lucifer kicked his chair over, so he was close enough to put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "When you're trapped down here forever- which you are, so you'll learn this in your own time- you're so accustomed to net loss that any kind of win feels good. Like right now: I just made a deal with you to garner information and it turns out that you can't fucking tell me without having some adverse reaction which is both frustrating and impressive. Like, I'm the Devil. I appreciate a good 'Monkey's Paw Scenario' more than most- I actually invented the monkey's paw, by the way, so if you're looking to give credit on a frankly amazing invention, you just shoot those compliments right this way." He gestured toward himself with the thumb of the hand that wasn't on Adam's shoulder. Adam glanced at the hand still touching him, trying to non-verbally remind Lucifer to move it, but the Devil misread his signal and simply continued on his rant. "But I digress, the point is I made a deal for information, and it turns out that the Corruption literally causes you to shut down when you try and remember important details. Which is a huge loss for me because it is going to be much harder for me to benefit from our deal now."

"So, then we break off the deal?" Adam brightened up a bit. He thought he was just going to have to sit and wallow in the feelings of instant regret. But if it was two-sided, then perhaps there was still an escape.

"Nah, I still think I can get information out of you yet. It'll just be much more difficult. And maybe, if we're lucky, painful." The hand turned into Lucifer's whole arm around his shoulder as his free hand gestured upward at the sky. His crimson and gold eyes glanced over toward Adam. "Painful for you, I mean. I should be fine."

"Get the fuck off!" Adam pushed free of him. "I'm not gonna let you torture me for information, jackass!"

"Oh relax, I'm kidding, probably." Lucifer spun in his chair looking far too happy with Adam's reaction. "I'm not going to torture you. It would be useless and honestly a bit dangerous since I have no idea what your capable of with that Corruption inside you. And I'm not evil." Adam raised an eyebrow at that last bit. Lucifer met his gaze, giving a little shrug. "Matter of opinion."

"So, we're keeping the deal?"

"Yep!"

"This is fucking bullshit."

"Listen, having you live here is no picnic for me either. But I do actually have work to do, I'm afraid." Lucifer stood up. "So why don't you start out on your new, illustrious career as my maid, and go clean something?" Despite his small size, Lucifer easily forced Adam to his feet and toward the door.

"I'm not gonna do that."

"I don't really give a flying fuck what you do, Adam, so long as you aren't bleeding on anyone."

"Oh really? Not one flying fuck?"

"Not really."

"So, what if I leave?"

"I mean you know where the door is. So, leaving is entirely in the realm of possibility. I'm not going to lock you up. But last time you left you caused an entire fiasco that your son is going to have to clean up and he was about the only one here who you would run to. Everyone else is going to make you earn your keep, and I promise you they'll make you do far worse than housework."

Fuck, he kept bringing Cain up like some sort of trump card, and Adam hated how much it was working. "I'm going to go pick my room." Adam headed toward the door. Lucifer had him by the balls, but rather than giving him the satisfaction of knowing he had won the argument. It was easier and more dignified to pretend it never happened as he threw the door open.

"Just stay out of the West Wing." Lucifer got to his feet behind him. "That area is always off limits."

"Listen dude, I don't give two shits about your weird, mysterious off-limits wing. It's probably just filled with more ducks." Adam didn't feel like trying him- at least not right now. He still felt a little weary from waking up on the floor.

"Good. Any of the rooms that aren't clearly marked for other uses are free for you to pick from, until I eventually assign one." Lucifer pushed past Adam and headed out into the hallway. "If you need anything, Syn will take care of it."

"Who the fuck is that?"

"You'll learn." And with that, Lucifer vanished. Sunnova bitch could teleport. Adam fucking called it. That was fine. Adam didn't particularly want to spend any more time with his new captor than he had to. So, he was happy to start wandering the halls. There were a lot of rooms, and it seemed like Hell was allergic to the concept of a map, so Adam just started opening doors at random.

Bathroom.

Good start.

Closet.

The fuck was a closet doing there?

Bedroom. Oh, look they did exist.

"..." Adam stopped for a moment. Hand still on the door. He had the unmistakable feeling of being followed, the hair on the back of his neck stood up, his wings fluttered and fluffed up a bit as he looked behind him.

Nothing.

"I know you're there!"

Nothing.

"..." Adam narrowed his eyes, still looking behind him as he closed the door slowly. He turned back around.

"Boo."

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Adam fell backward as he had ended up face-to-face with a blue skinned, red headed, Hellborn with massive black ram horns. He was a tall, well-built monstrosity with sharp teeth and a tail that towered over Adam, even before he had fallen on his ass.

"Oh man, you shoulda seen your face!" The Hellborn laughed before offering Adam a hand to help him up. Adam knocked it away, choosing to get back up on his own, dusting his robe off indignantly.

"I wasn't fucking scared just so you know. I was simply startled. There's a massive difference."

"Yeah okay." The Hellborn chuckled to himself. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, newbie."

"You were most terrified!" Finally, Adam heard that woman's voice again. He had a chance to see Lucifer's weird new playing. Except... Adam didn't see any sexy lady Hellborns around.

"He was, Syn. You did a very good job." The Hellborn folded his arms, leaning in the doorway.

"Syn? Where is Syn. Lucifer said I was supposed to: ask Syn if I had any questions. And if Syn is some hot ass bitch and Lucifer is holding out on me, I am going to mcfucking lose my shit." Adam looked all around, but the male Hellborn stopped him, sliding his hand under Adam's Halo to grab his head and turn it by force.

"Syn's a lady, but she's not a hot ass bitch, my dude. She's more like... an elegant young woman." The Hellborn gestured forward,

"Aww thank you!" There was the voice again, but all Adam was looking at was a flying cylinder with little lights that flared up and pulsed in perfect synchronization with the woman's voice.

"That's Syn."

"What... behind the cylinder?" Adam swiveled his one good eye to try and look at the Hellborn holding him.

"I am the cylinder!" It turned out the cylinder had little translucent wings, as it decided to fly directly into Adam's face, bumping against his nose. "I am Syn! I am Lucifer's number one assistant!"

"I'm Lysander, Lysander Warson." The Hellborn released Adam's head and instead offered his hand forward. "I'm Security. What did the big boss saddle you with?"

"Yeah, I'm actually here as part of a whole thing he's doing." Adam began. "He really didn't give me a position-"

"My files indicate that he is the maid."

"Oof, maid." Lysander opened the door to the bedroom Adam had just closed, flipping on the light to reveal all the ducks overflowing over the bed. "That's a rough one, my dude. Good news is: Boss doesn't really care. You can kinda do whatever you want so long as you're not actively in his way." That was actually good to hear because Adam- sure as shit- wasn't about to be picking up all Lucifer's fucking crap. He made the mess; he can clean it.

"What do you two want anyway?" Adam looked between the Hellborn and the cylinder. Was she supposed to be like... Metatron? If so, the attempt was, honestly, pretty pathetic since she didn't even have a fucking face.

"One of us! One of us!" Syn began bumping into Adam's cheek over and over again in excitement.

"We're going to initiate you into the mansion staff, my dude." Lysander patted him on the back with such force Adam stumbled forward.

"Just the two of you?" Adam looked between them skeptically. One dude and a half-finished robotics project were not much of a welcoming committee as far as Adam was concerned.

"Well yeah, we're literally the entire staff. Me, you, Syn- and well there's Quackers, but there was no way we were getting him out of the kitchen for this and I am not pissing him off again."

"Who-?" Adam started to ask but Lysander cut him off, leaning on Adam's shoulder, gesturing off with one arm.

"We'll get to him on our tour. Don't you worry."

"Tour?"

"Yes! Now that you are staff like us, you must have the big tour!"

"Syn is very excited, this is something we've been working on, just on the off-chance Boss man ever hired anyone else." Lysander gave a quick shrug. "And he did! Look at that! I owe Syn ten dollars."

"I except cash as well as VOX-MO."

"You won fair and square." Lysander shook his head for a moment before immediately brightening. "But enough about my financial loss-" he lowered his voice leaning down to Adam's ear, "seriously though, don't make bets with her she will fucking take all your money." He straightened back up. "It's tour time!"

"Hurray! Tour time!"

"Let's fucking go, newbie!" Lysander started pushing Adam down the hall. "You're probably looking for a usable bedroom. There really aren't any, but the better options are all on the second floor."

"Plus, they have the bigger beds."

"Why are you guys doing this?" Adam wasn't sure if this was leading up to some kind of trick and he was about to wake up in a bathtub full of ice and missing a kidney.

"One of us! One of us!"

"You're part of the staff now, new guy. And we are kind of an exclusive group."

"I have a fucking name, you know." Adam was half-led, half-dragged up the staircase to the second floor.

"His name is: Adam Don't Run or Adam Come Back. I am unclear on which." The mechanical mess of an invention spoke up, hovering far too close to Adam's face for comfort.

"It's Adam. Just Adam."

"Adam just Adam."

"No, fucking listen-"

"Dude," Lysander cut him off. "You gotta be real straight with Syn. She's learning she constantly takes things at face value." He turned to Syn. "His name is Adam."

"Adam!" She repeated it happily. "Hello Adam! You are one of us!"

"So, is she like... a Sinner? Or a Hellborn? Or like... what exactly is she?" Adam knew that Sinner forms could be really fucking weird but the idea that one had just materialized as a fucking light-up cylinder with wings seemed like a stretch even for Hell. (What sort of crimes could she have committed on Earth to be denied the existence of arms in the afterlife?)

"I am not any of those! I am just Syn! Syn like: Synthetic, Sinner, or Cinderella! I hope that clarifies things a little more for you!"

"No! The opposite, in fact because those are all different spellings!"

"Yeah, she gave me that same speech when I first got here. Boss-Man made her so I asked him about it, and apparently it's Syn: S.Y.N. and you think it would be in all caps, but it's not." Lysander gave a little shrug. Adam squinted at Syn, so she was created by Lucifer. What a very strange series of choices the devil had made with this diabolical creation.

"If you say my name in all caps, I will feel like you are yelling at me."

"I know, buddy." Lysander patted Syn on the top of her cylinder with a massive, clawed hand. "Now this first room once you make it up the stairs, it's a utility closet. Not much to it." Lysander opened the door to show Adam a bunch of disorganized junk covering what looked to be rather important switches and wires. "Then you have my room." There was a little plaque with Lysander W. inscribed clearly on the metal. "If you need anything, you can find me in here. Sometimes. I actually wander around quite a bit." Lysander opened the door to show Adam a fairly basic room with a bed, a desk, its own bathroom, it wasn't half bad.

"Do all the rooms look like that?"

"Most do. There are key differences here and there." He closed the door. "This next room belongs to Quackers, but he's almost never in there. I can't show it to you because he doesn't like anyone messing with his things."

"Who the fuck is Quackers?" That was the second time Adam had heard that name come up.

"We'll get there. He's on the tour." Lysander dismissed the question for the time being. "Then we have some closets, some vacant rooms with bathrooms, and then we have Charlie's old room. That is major off limits. So do not go in there."

"Why?" Adam looked at the door with Charlie in rainbow letters over the top. It didn't really scream Hell at him.

"Boss's orders, dude. We don't really question it. Not our place, not paid to care." Lysander skipped over the door moving on. "We have Syn's room over this way."

"Syn gets her own room?" Adam looked at the cylinder. She quickly buzzed away from his head flying excitedly to the door. There was a little piece of notebook paper taped over the door with squiggles in crayon on it that, if Adam squinted and tilted his head just the right way, did look a bit like the letters S, Y, and N.

"I made my own sign!"

"We taped a crayon to her so she could. We have fun here." Lysander seemed rather amused by the whole thing. Adam could think of several snide comments about the sign but given that it didn't seem like Syn was very old (and it was probably difficult to write her name without limbs) he decided to keep his opinion to himself. "You'll have to open the door for her so she can get in and out. If you hear tapping, that's her."

"So, are you like... a child? Or a cat?" Adam was getting mixed signals about what Syn was supposed to be. Lucifer hadn't been super clear with the villainous intent on this particular creation.

"I am a Syn!" She flew in as Lysander opened the door. The room looked very similar to Lysanders, but had a collection of crayons, markers, glitter, and paints. Adam wasn't sure why they even had this shit in Hell, or why Syn would have it since she had no way of using it, but she sounded rather proud of it. She flitted about, over the discarded craft supplies. "I have collected these over the years, but you may borrow them if you wish!"

"Yeah okay." Adam simply nodded, picking up a blue marker. Maybe he could draw a dick on the walls or something later to piss off Lucifer. (He was surprised Syn was into sharing but it seemed as if she wasn't natural to Hell so maybe she hadn't yet learned how to be a selfish, worthless prick.)

"Next up is Boss's room, but we can't go in there." Lysander waited till Adam and Syn were back out in the hallways before closing the door. "He is a very private man."

"Pfft." Adam snorted. "I wouldn't want to go in there anyways it probably smells like crime and sadness."

"Can't say. He says to stay out and I do. He signs my paychecks." Lysander shrugged. "There's a massive bathroom next to it, the master bathroom, but again, can't go in there. That's for the King only. So that's pretty much everything up here. You can have any of the rooms between mine and Syn's that aren't taken."

"Hmm..." Adam walked the hall for a moment, opening all the doors. All the rooms had ducks in them that he would need to move. But that was just consistent between all the rooms. He found one diagonal to Lysander that was about as far away from Lucifer as he could get without losing access to a connected bathroom. "This one. It's pretty much the best option." He opened the door, walking in shoving all the ducks off of the bed kicking them around to make a clear path. He flopped backward on the bed, hearing faint squeaking, he sat up, pulled the blankets back, and shoved even more ducks onto the floor. How did they even get under the covers?

"You need a sign!" Syn sounded rather excited. "I can help if you want-"

"I got it." Adam got to his feet, pushing past the other two as he walked into Syn's room, grabbing a piece of paper and using his borrowed blue marker to write: Dickmaster on the paper. He grabbed some tape and put it next to the door. "See?"

"I think it requires stickers." Syn didn't sound all that impressed. "Is that your last name?" His sign was being judged by a trashcan with fairy wings, un-fucking-believable. How could Syn even see his sign to judge it. She didn't even have eyes.

"No, I don't actually have a last name." Adam couldn't believe he was taking the time to explain this. It felt like something she should already know. Didn't Lucifer explain who Adam was to everyone on his staff?

"Everyone has a last name. Lysander's is Warson, Quackers is his last name, his first name is Darrell, and mine is Stop That."

"Is it?" Adam looked over at Lysander for confirmation.

"I think her last name is Morningstar but she's pretty much got the rest of that right."

"Well, I don't have one." Adam pointed to his sign. "This is a nickname because I am great at fu-" He stopped for a moment looking at Syn. It felt really weird to boast his sexual prowess to a fucking sentient thermos. "I just don't have a last name. It's just a thing."

"That is weird. You are a strange Sinner."

"I'm strange?" Adam gestured dramatically to himself. "You're a fucking flying soup can that doesn't even have any soup in it!"

"Speaking of soup, you should see the kitchen." Lysander intervened. He kept the door to Adam's room open until Adam and Syn were both outside. They headed back down the stairs. Adam stopped for a moment to lean over the banister and use the maker Syn had lent to him to draw a goatee and mustache on Lillith in the family portrait of the Devil, his daughter, and Adam's bitch of an ex-wife. He hurried back to join the group before Lysander took note of him lagging behind. They reached the kitchen, which had large, sweeping double doors, the kind that could swing in either direction. Lysander put a clawed finger to his lips, and carefully pressed one of the doors open just enough for Adam to see a beautiful, ornate kitchen. But it was hard to admire the craftsmanship because in the kitchen was a bright yellow duck the size of Sera, with red wheels on the bottom, that was pacing the room back and forth.

"The fuck is that?" Adam started talking but Lysander vigorously shushed him, trying to get him to lower his voice.

"That's Quackers. He stalks the kitchen."

"Is he the cook?" Adam craned his head to see inside more. There did seem to be a spatula sticking out from under one of the wings.

"Bro, I dunno." Lysander kept at a whisper. "But if you want a late-night snack from the fridge, you either gotta be really quiet or really fast." Adam craned his neck to get a better look. But, aside from the size, the wasn't really anything intimidating about Quackers. Especially because Lysander had to be only a tiny but shorter if not the same height.

"Why are you so afraid of this thing?" Adam spoke a little louder. Lysander vigorously tried to shush him again. "It looks lame!" Adam raised his voice even louder. Quackers stopped his pacing. The duck's head swiveled a perfect 180° degrees and Adam saw it looking directly at him. There was a horrible, ear-splitting, shrieking quack as the duck's head split open only to be replaced by an array of spinning knives surrounding a burning flame. "Holy fuck!" Adam tried to slam the door, but it being a swinging door, it swung back the other way, hitting him in the face. Lysander pulled Adam away.

"We should go."

"Sorry Quackers!" Syn called as the headless body drew closer and closer to the door every time it swung open. Adam could see the knives spreading out for more damage. He continued back up, but as quackers reached the doorway, he came to a stop. The head returned, and he went back to pacing.

"THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" Adam shrugged Lysander off of him and gestured wildly at the door, which was almost, finally, closed once again.

"Quackers. We warned you to be quiet."

"He is very grumpy."

"That he is, Syn." Lysander patted her on the top of her little cylinder. "But he doesn't leave the kitchen, so your safe now."

"Why does he have that!? What purpose does it serve!?" Outside of the obvious purpose of making Adam miserable. But he doubted Lucifer had that sort of forethought when he created the quacking abomination.

"Dunno man, I just work here." Lysander gave a shrug, his tail swishing. "Welp, no use dwelling on it. You learned a valuable Quackers-related lesson today, and that's good enough for our Kitchen part of the tour."

"Quackers was made by the Boss like I was. But I think I am much more social."

"You are." Lysander gave Syn a thumbs up and Adam remained perplexed about whether or not Syn could actually see anything or if gestures were really just a waste. "Come on, you haven't seen the best stuff yet." Lysander led him further down the hall (Adam began trailing the marker on the already kinda dusty walls, what's a little more mess?) before opening a large door. Adam's face lit up.

"Hot damn there's a gym in this shit hole?"

"This shit hole as you call it, is actually prime fucking real estate in Hell. You shouldn't be so dismissive because I have lived here my whole goddamn life, and this is the best gig I can ask for. We don't even really have to do our jobs half the time because Boss-Man pays us absolutely no attention. Like, you do the bare minimum, and you get to live here and have access to all his shit. Except the west wing. But I'm not gonna risk the sweet ass job for some dusty abandoned hallway."

"What kinda shit?" Adam was only half listening to Lysander's rant. He was more interested in examining all the gym equipment. "No fucking way that any of this shit is Lucifer's. I doubt that guy could bench a wet paper bag."

"Actually, he's the strongest being in Hell. Pretty sure he could like... make my head explode by thinking about it. But nah this isn't his stuff. It's mine. I've been sneaking in the equipment bit by bit to see if he notices. It's become kind of a game seeing how much more fucking insane I can make the things I bring before he catches on." Lysander gestured at all the equipment which ranged from basic weights to an entire chest press machine and treadmill.

"You snuck all this past him?" Adam put his hands on his hips, surveying his new favorite area of the house. "Am I allowed to use it too?"

"Sure thing man, I let Syn use it too when she wants."

"I like to use the free weights!"

"And your wings are getting so fucking swol." He patted Syn before turning back to Adam. "Like I said, this was more of a social experiment. I'll show you what else I've gotten in here." Lysander gestured for Adam to follow him. The Fallen Sinner begrudgingly left the gym to follow Lysander to the next room. He threw the door open and...

"A fucking Movie theater?" Adam blinked at the large screen, multiple seats, projector, and popcorn machine that occupied the next room over.

"Every fucking one of these seats I have brought in- while he was home too. This is all while he's home, it's cheating if he's away." Lysander seemed proud of his work. Adam had to admit he was impressed. Perhaps he'd been too quick on his call to slaughter Hellborns alongside their Sinner counterparts. Lysander was making a very powerful argument in favor of Hellborn kind.

"Sometimes I act as a distraction!"

"And you're a damn good distraction." Lysander winked at Syn who did a happy little flip in return. "Come see the next one." Lysander closed the door and brought Adam one room over and...

"A bowling alley!? How the fuck!?"

"This one took almost all my time. I had to get some outside help. I just told the boss I had old college friends over. But he didn't even look up." Lysander let the door close again. "And I do actually have friends over sometimes. So long as they stay on the first floor and out of the west wing, Boss-Man doesn't give a shit. Ah fuck, speaking of work." Lysander's crimson and black eyes were looking at the window in the back hall. He snapped and an icy looking sniper rifle appeared out of a burst of flame (though Adam noticed the room felt colder, not hotter). He walked to the window, cracking it open, his tail swished, he cocked his head and squinted for a moment before firing a single shot. Adam ran to the window just in time to see something small and sparking crash toward the ground in the very far distance. "Fucking Vox drones."

"Dude that was pretty fucking cool. Not gonna lie." Adam could use this guy as an Exorcist- if it weren't for the fact that he was a Hellborn, and therefore not as innately skilled as his army.

"Usually they don't get too close, but sometimes Vox gets ballsy and I gotta shoot 'em down. I also shoot would-be looters and stuff. It's a pretty fun job. Super easy though because the house has a whole bunch of bullshit magic protecting it. But I like what I get to do."

"Maybe I can join you on security. I mean, I'll probably outrank you because I used to be a general. But I'll still let you pretend to be in charge when Lucifer comes by so that you keep your same pay." Adam very much wanted a chance with that sniper rifle. It was so clear he could see the innerworkings.

"You are a maid. Not security."

"I am not a fucking maid."

"Like I said man, you don't actually have to do any of the work because he never checks on you, so do what you want. But I need this job. My dad was very insistent that I get it because it looks great on resumes. Come on, I'll show you the rest of the downstairs so you can get a basic idea of where shit is."

"So you can clean it!"

"Not gonna fucking happen." Adam flicked his middle finger up at Syn who had absolutely no reaction. At least, not one that Adam could ascertain. (Damn it Lucifer, at least get Syn some fucking googly eyes or something. There was no way to garner a reaction out of her like this.) He still kept making the occasional marks or dick-drawing on the wall while Lysander had his back turned. (The guy seemed cool enough, but he also seemed to respect Lucifer which was a bit of a letdown.)

"There's the pool, it's heated too. There's also a hot tub that is fucking awesome." Lysander led him to a glass door at the end of the hall. "And out here is the garden." He opened it and Adam was a bit taken aback with how beautiful and well-kept the garden was when compared with the rest of the house. There was a gazebo, ornate garden tables and chairs, even a small stage surrounded by the most beautiful flora Adam had seen since his time in the Garden.

"Okay... it's not... terrible." Adam was impressed but he would never admit it. (This might actually be his favorite place in the mansion- though not even torture could draw that confession from his lips.) All the flowers reminded him of his first home of a much happier time in his life... of loved ones from whom he was forever separated... it filled him with nostalgia and a heavy, almost overwhelming feeling of grief. It was so strange. Before waking up chained in a hotel room with Lucifer, a random Sinner, and his long-lost son- Adam hadn't really felt much of... anything. No... that wasn't exactly right either... he had definitely felt emotions- but they were almost... muted? (Maybe that was somehow just the nature of Heaven.)

"You okay man?" Lysander and Syn were staring at him. (At least Lysander was. Syn could have been looking at the fucking sky for all Adam knew.)

"Fucking fine, why? I was just comparing this sub-par little backyard to the gardens up in Heaven. I mean, it's... okay."

"Oh yeah, you're a Fallen. I suspected as much cause of the wings and the broken halo. But it seemed rude to ask. Ya know?" Lysander gave a shrug. "Don't get too many of you guys in Hell. But if you don't like the garden, take that up with Cain from Cain Organics. He does all the lawn work."

"This is the best fucking garden I have ever seen in my life. I was lying before. There isn't a single flaw."

"Well hot damn that's a change of heart." Lysander laughed.

"ADAM!" There was a shout from inside and Adam, Lysander, and Syn all went back into the mansion to see Lucifer looking quite frustrated gesturing to a rather well drawn penis wearing Lucifer's top hat. "The fuck is this!?"

"Dickcifer." Adam didn't miss a beat.

"Really man?" Lysander gave him a look. He didn't seem as amused by Adam's (clearly hilarious) joke. (Syn probably found it funny. If she had a face, she would be laughing her nonexistent ass off.)

"What? I was just decorating."

"I let you live here, I protect you, and you draw on my fucking walls!?" Lucifer had his hat, jacket, and vest back, which was fine by Adam because just seeing him in the undershirt had been weird as fuck. "What are you, five!?"

"Oh, like they were that clean to begin with." Adam rolled his eyes. "If anything? I just increased the property value with my artistic contributions."

"That is because we only just got a maid."

"I'M NOT A FUCKING MAID!"

"Are you shitting me, Adam? This is my fucking house."

"I mean the house wasn't that impressive man. I'll be honest, I thought you were supposed to be the creative dreamer angel. This is all kinda basic. Outside of Quackers, who by the way, is actually fucking terrifying- so good Devil-ing on that one," Adam gave a small clap, "this looks like a knock-off of Heaven."

"It's a house Adam! The fuck are you expecting!? I'm not gonna keep a goddamn theme park or evil torture dungeon where I have to sleep." Lucifer looked thoroughly exasperated.

"The theme park is fucking baller though." Lysander piped up. Lucifer took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm himself.

"Thank you, Lysander."

"Is it also just a bad rip-off of Promise land?" Adam smirked, folding his arms. Lucifer looked up, narrowing his eyes, meeting Adam's smug gaze. He slammed the bottom of his cane on the ground and tilted his hat up.

"Rip off!? HA! If anything, they copied me."

"Sounds like someone is desperately trying to not look pathetic, which isn't going great for you, if I'm being honest."

"Be prepared to eat those words motherfucker. You want to see something amazing!? Something Heaven can only dream of living up to!?" Lucifer threw up both arms and a rainbow appeared behind him that went up instantly in flames, sparkles raining down around him. "Lysander, Syn buckle up for a field trip because I'm taking my whole staff- minus Quackers so sorry Quackers but you are not ready for the outside- to Lu Lu World!"

Chapter Text

"Hurray! Lu Lu World!"

"I have no idea what the fuck that is." Adam watched as Syn began doing little flips in the air. She started bumping into his cheeks again and again. He held out his hand to stop her.

"I do not know either! But Master said it very enthusiastically!"

"Yeah," Lucifer raised an eyebrow at his own (admittedly confusing) creation. Once Adam got back into Heaven, Syn would be such a chore to explain. "I was confused why you were so excited."

"Because you were excited!"

"Oh shit, for real for real?" Lysander spoke up, sounding happy. Damn, just when Adam was starting to like him, he had to go play along with Lucifer's attempt at showmanship. "Lu Lu World fucking kicks ass! My dads used to take me all the time when I was a kid. I used to work there in college. Not that I needed the money, cause, ya know, my dad's rich and all that. But I did the face painting."

"That just means you had a good dad- or rather good dads-" Lucifer quickly corrected himself. Adam was starting to think Lucifer didn't really know who Lysander's family was. "Who loved you and wanted you to experience the finer things in life. And your employment taught you great customer service skills. And seeing it on your resume landed you with the only job more coveted than Lu Lu World: working for me directly."

"I thought you gave me this job because my dad talked you into it." Lysander didn't sound all that convinced.

"Even your dad who I know quite personally, could not have convinced me without work experience at Lu Lu World." This was clearly a point of pride for Lucifer- but given that he was the Sin of Pride, what wasn't? Still, it didn't really give Adam any additional information as to what the fuck a Lu Lu World was, or what it entailed. (And he remained unconvinced that Lucifer was really all that close to, or could even name, Lysander's dad. Any of them since apparently, he had more than one.)

"Yeah, none of this clarifies anything." Adam looked between the Devil, the Hellborn, and the sentient exhaust pipe- then back to the Devil and Hellborn because he was quickly learning Syn knew shit-all when it came to Hell, or really just life in general.

"Lu Lu World is my magnum opus, my little bit of paradise here in Hell- for those who can afford it- it is a wonderful place full of joy and fun- or else. And most importantly it is a testament to me!" A bunch of tiny, Muppet versions of Lucifer appeared behind him, unfurling a brightly colored banner with a castle silhouetted in the back and rainbow letters spelling out the name of this supposedly 'great' Park. That sort of overdramatic bullshit was par for the course when it came to Lucifer.

"Sounds kinda desperate, not gonna lie." Adam examined his nails on his silhouetted hand, frowning for a moment. The fact that his nails looked a little different unsettled him. Welp, that was something to obsess over at a later date. Right now, he had a Devil to take down a peg. (Plus, he could blame the elongated nails on the alleged infection. No way he was actually Fallen from grace this was all some kind of misunderstanding. At least, that's what Adam would continue to tell himself until the Metatron herself came from on high and delivered the message that this was truly his fate. And Adam happened to know that She wasn't available at the moment to be delivering sentences of permanent damnation to anyone. Once she was back and this was all explained, he could finally return where he belonged.)

"It's not desperate. It's awesome." Lucifer scoffed. "That's why Heaven tried to rip it off when they made Promise Land. Yeah, mine came first." Lucifer smugly gestured to the banner still behind him and the Muppets shook the banner until rainbow sparkles fell out of it, onto Adam's head.

"Don't diss it until you've been, dude." Adam really had been starting to rethink his stance on Hellborns with Lysander's- admittedly funny- sneaking prank. But he couldn't accept a coworker who would blindly simp for Lucifer.

"I am just excited to be able to leave the house."

"Wait." Adam had to pause his inner monologue on the vast disappointment Lysander had caused him for just a moment because Syn's little comment was enough to cause Adam to slowly turn and face Lucifer. "You don't let her leave!? What? Is she like a hostage in her own home!? All that hard work she does for you, and you just keep her locked up!? No wonder she compares herself to Cinderella!" In all fairness, Adam didn't really know how much work Syn did or how good she was at it. But the point remained that she should still be allowed to leave if she wanted.

"I'll be honest," Lucifer turned to look at Syn who was doing little flips in the air, "I'm a little surprised that she knows who Cinderella is given that she's never once expressed any interest in fairytales."

"I like stories about helping people. That is what I do! I help make the Master's life much easier."

"Gonna be honest with you Syn," Lysander patted the top of her cylinder, "not sure you understood the point of that story."

"So, you read it to her?" Lucifer tilted his head slightly. "I didn't realize you two hung out. Or really interacted at all."

"Nah, she must have picked that one up on her own. I'm not super into human books. I find their portrayal of conflict to often lack an edge. If I read something there had better be an accurate beheading. Or there has to at least be cute animal companion, but if anything happens to the cute companion, I will fucking find the author on Earth or in Hell and kill them myself. And you know they'll be in Hell because that's what fucking happens to people who kill the adorable animal sidekick." Lucifer, Adam, and Syn were all quietly staring at Lysander as he finished. Lucifer cleared his throat.

"Right... you are... weirdly passionate about that. Anyway," he turned to face Adam, "the reason that Syn hasn't been outside is that she is still new and learning. The Sinners would rip her to shreds, if not physically, then emotionally. Look at her man, she's sensitive. But at Lu Lu World I can let her out in a controlled environment. It might even be good for her to have some diverse interactions." Adam did hate to admit Lucifer was right about literally anything, but Syn did seem a little optimistic and naïve for Hell. His Exorcists would destroy her. (Maybe, once he was back, he could reason with the girls since Syn wasn't technically a Sinner or even a Hellborn and what was the purpose of killing a flying calculator? Clearly, he would be back in Heaven by the time the next Extermination took place. He... kinda had to be.) Adam shook himself as he started to feel cold.

"Outside! I get to go outside!"

"You sure do, and you can have front row seats to Adam taking a bite of hot, fresh humble pie served by yours truly." Lucifer did a little jump and bow and the Muppets pulled out trumpets with the hands that were not holding the banner and blew an over-the-top fanfare for the short sack of shit holding Adam (and apparently Syn) trapped in his comfortable, but still clearly evil mansion. (Sure, Lucifer said Adam was free to leave, and that Cain "was upset" and "didn't want anything to do with Adam", but Adam had an Exorcist back home whose name would say differently.)

"Delightful! I did not know you could cook!"

"It's an expression, Syn." Lucifer's bravado immediately faltered a bit as he was called out by the sentient can of chips.

"You can't cook?" Adam laughed. That was good ammo to have on the supposed most creative and talented of the angels. Apparently, the deceiver could be defeated by a simple recipe. This was important because it was something Adam was actually quite skilled at. Maybe he could challenge Lucifer to a cooking competition, win his soul back (or at least a set of golden pans, that asshole loved betting golden shit on fights he couldn't win.)

"I can cook, thank you very much. But as an angel, I can conjure which is much simpler." Lucifer regained his poise without difficulty. "But if you haven't been to our kitchen, then you wouldn't realize that cooking in my house comes with a unique and nuanced set of difficulties-"

"You mean the monstrosity that paces back and forth and attacks when you make too much noise." Adam cut him off. He had actually been to the kitchen- no thanks to Lucifer. At least Lysander and Syn believed in helping newcomers get acquainted with the mansion.

"Quackers. Yes." Lucifer gave a nod.

"I have a lot of questions about Quackers, not gonna lie." Adam figured he might as well attempt to ask. Sure, he might get ignored, but they were on the topic. "So... The biggest one is why? I mean I get that you're a master of evil bullshit and all that... but like... your own fucking house? And why the kitchen?"

"If you really must know," Lucifer looked away from Adam to polish the apple on his cane, "he was a home security system, originally. One of many, all of which do an amazing job." He hesitated for a moment. "... except him. Not really sure what went wrong there. He just got really hyper focused on the kitchen. Stays in there almost all the time. And it's not like I can't go in there, because I am all powerful and he is no match for me- but like he seems really settled in there. Just seems rude is all." Adam crossed his arms over his chest, raising a skeptical eyebrow at Lucifer's explanation. (He made sure to raise the eyebrow on the white side of his face as it was much easier to see than the one on the silhouetted side. He wanted Lucifer to be able to clearly read his disbelieving expression, after all.)

"He attacks you too, huh?"

"I never said that." Lucifer's head instantly snapped to look at him.

"You didn't really have to." Adam gave a little shrug. "I feel like it was implied."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Adam you dense-ass motherfucker. If you are taking implications from sentences where they definitely do not exist- that just sounds like a personal problem." Lucifer's tone was so as-a-matter-of-fact thatAdam felt like he was being challenged.

"Then why can't we take him with us to the theme park?"

"Do you want to go ask him?" Lucifer gestured toward the hallway that would eventually lead Adam into the kitchen. "Be my guest. I mean he wouldn't fit on the rides anyway, but I suppose if you want to stay home with him out of solidarity, I can lock you in the kitchen with him. Not sure how much he would like that, but you've got that Heaven sense of justice, and far be it for me to interfere."

"Does this mean we do not get to go to Lu Lu World?"

"I can't disappoint Syn. Not fair to her." Adam was relieved to have a way out of admitting he had no desire to face off with Quackers again. Once had been more than enough for a lifetime- or an afterlife-lifetime.

"No no, I can still take Syn and Lysander. It wouldn't be fair to them. You are absolutely right. But it also wouldn't be fair to you to deny you the opportunity to spend the time you clearly crave with Quackers." Lucifer wasn't going to let up. Fucking bastard. "Unless you don't want to ask him, of course." Lucifer locked eyes with Adam who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Fucking called out.

"Yeah... no... it's fine." Adam struggled to find the proper words to dig himself out of this hole he now found himself in. "I mean, if you think he isn't ready for the outside, you are the one who made him." Fuck, even just that small concession felt like it was eating Adam alive to say it. "And you did want to prove to me how amazing this dumb park is supposed to be. How are you going to stroke your own ego if I stay behind?"

"Are you sure Adam?" Lucifer put his cane back on the ground, folding his arms and leaning on top of it. "Far be it for my ego to separate you and Quackers."

"No, I... um... I'm good. Let's just go to the fucking Lucifer Land or whatever." Adam had been called on his bluff and he hated it, but there wasn't much he could do to back pedal at this point. He just had to blindly accept it and hope this wasn't held over his head for the rest of eternity. (Though knowing what a petty bitch Lucifer could be, Adam didn't particularly like his odds.)

"Lu Lu World, you weren't even close. Try to pay attention, Adam. Weren't you a general? You would think with all your Heaven Military training you could remember the name of a Theme Park that has been said multiple times in the last few minutes." Lucifer smirked as he stood back up. "But once it completely blows your mind, I am sure you'll remember it then. Maybe you just hit that head of yours way too many times on the way down." He tapped Adam on the top of his head with the apple shaped cane topper. "I mean you probably have even seen the park on one of your trips down to destroy all my things." Adam didn't actually pay attention to the locations in Hell during Extermination Day, and that was steadily starting to bite him in the ass.

"It's not that I can't remember, it's just that I don't care." Adam tried to explain it in a way Lucifer's feeble and senile mind could understand. "I am perfectly capable, just not willing. Big difference."

"Sounds like an excuse to me, but whatever helps you sleep at night, asshole." Lucifer seemed frustratingly unfazed by Adam's attempts at insults. Theme Park or not, if this is what his day entailed, this really was Hell.

"I can't believe we get to go in without a reservation." Lysander truly seemed excited about whatever awaited them. Adam wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. On the one hand, he was a Hellborn who fed on misery and hatred, and unborn babies- or something like that. (Adam didn't really know anything about the particular type of Hellborn that Lysander was- but those facts seemed accurate.) On the other hand, Lysander had his own gym and seemed to enjoy pranking Lucifer. So, Adam was, logically, torn.

"When you're with me, you don't need a reservation." Lucifer popped his collar and walked toward the door; nose held so high in the air that if it rained, he'd be the first to drown. Or at least- that would be the case if he had a nose. Which he didn't. Nose-less freak.

"Fieldtrip!" Syn fluttered right behind him.

"Do stay close, Syn. Hell is dangerous, and I don't want you getting broken or stolen. You should be fine when you're around me." Lucifer put his hand on the top of her little cylinder body. "But I can't protect you if you fly off."

"I will be good!"

"I know you will," Lucifer opened the mansion door. "Come on, unless you want to stay back with Quackers!" He called with a sing-song voice. Adam rolled his eyes and hurried to catch up with Lysander who was already outside the door. "You sure Adam? This park might be too extreme."

"Shut the fuck up." Adam made sure to flip him off as he exited back out into the putrid heat of Hell. "God it's like Satan's fucking ass-crack out here."

"Don't make me think about that. I actually know that guy, Adam." Lucifer made a face before taking the lead. "But you better get used to the heat, my newly Fallen little bitch~ Because this is mild compared to some of our worse days."

"Ughhh don't say that. I am in long fucking sleeves man!" Adam threw his arms down in frustration.

"I'm in a suit, stop whining." Lucifer reached behind him and poked Adam's cheek with the apple on his cane. Adam swatted it away. Lucifer made a show of leaning over to Syn. He began whispering in the most obvious fake whisper Adam had ever heard. "I don't actually feel hot. It's part of my angelic nature to self-regulate my body temperature. Just another of the many benefits of being me."

"You're not a fucking angel!" Adam snapped. Lucifer's head snapped to look at him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Neither are you!"

"Sonnuvabitch." Adam had walked right into that. He went to shove his hands into his pockets for a proper sulk. He did, thankfully, have pockets on his robes, it wouldn't have been divine if he didn't. Though he recalled wearing his war-gear the last time he was down here, he was now just in his traditional garb. Which was weird. What was even more confusing was the fact that the emblem on his chest had been inverted and his gloves and mask were gone. He begrudgingly removed his mismatched hands from his pockets and looked at them as they walked, squinting at them as if that would, in any way, help him figure out where his gloves had gone. (His nails were also longer, sharper, more claw-like- which was not a fact Adam was loving.) He flexed his fingers only to have a fucking apple cane-topper press into his palms, slowly forcing Adam to lower his hands. He looked up to see Lucifer was staring at him. Adam gave him as nasty a look as he could muster on short notice. "What?"

"Are you...okay?" There was that sympathetic look from the devil once again. Jesus fucking Christ, could Adam not even theorize in peace?

"Where are my gloves?"

"W..." Clearly Lucifer hadn't been expecting that exact question as he looked visibly confused. "What? What gloves? What are you talking about?"

"Gloves." Adam held up his hands. "I wear gloves like... all the time. But ever since I woke up here, I haven't had them. So where are my gloves, Lucifer? What did you do with them? And my mask and helmet?"

"Why do you think I have them!?" Lucifer blinked.

"Well, I always have them, but I haven't since I woke up. And according to you the only places I have been since I got to this literal Hellhole were the hotel and your house so... where'd you put my stuff?"

"Listen fucker, those gloves were probably burned off your hands. The mask and helmet broke when you di-" Lucifer cut himself off very quickly and cleared his throat. "When you arrived..." The way the Devil corrected himself made a chill run over Adam's skin. He shook himself, scoffing at the explanation.

"Well, I have more in Heaven. Have Sera send them down for me. Or better yet, let me go Upstairs and get them myself." Adam thought his demands were fairly simple, but rather than agreement, he was met by Lucifer's laughter.

"I don't know if it's the Corruption, or if you're always this fucking delusional, but that is not gonna happen, man."

"What do you mean delusional!? It's Heaven, Fuckface. They've gotta let me get my things because it's the right thing to do or whatever."

"Like I said: not happening. I mean we can ask if you want but you'll just get laughed off the phone call if they even pick up at all- usually, I just get stuck on that stupid automated options menu for like a half hour." Lucifer patted him on the shoulder. "But please, prove me wrong later."

"Fine. I will." Adam folded his arms over his chest for emphasis.

"Damn, what are you guys fighting about now?" Lysander leaned down so his head was between Adam and Lucifer. (Adam greatly missed being able to change his height as an Angel because having Lysander towering over him wasn't a super great feeling. Not that he couldn't kick Lysander's ass at his current size- as he was just back to his height when he had been alive- but the towering angelic form was great for intimidation.) Adam unfolded his arms, holding his hands out for Lysander to see.

"Lucifer stole my gloves, as well as this very cool helmet and mask I have. And now he won't give them back."

"That's not what happened, dumbass." Lucifer remarked dryly.

"Damn. Sucks." Lysander gave a shrug. "But hey, now that you work at the mansion, you can buy new gloves. And probably a better helmet and mask. I mean I'm not really sure what kind you're looking for, but for enough money, you can pretty much get whatever you want in Hell."

"It is not nice to steal the Dickmaster's things, Master."

Adam and Lucifer both nearly tripped as Syn tried to mediate the little disagreement. Lysander burst into laughter behind them.

"Why is she calling you that!? Did you tell her to call you that!?" Lucifer poked Adam in the chest with his cane. Adam held up both of his hands in a motion of surrender, but it did him little good as Lucifer kept poking him. "Don't teach her that!"

"Fuck no! It's goddamn weird coming from her." Adam slapped the cane away before he could be poked again.

"Just coming from her?"

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means the nickname is dumb as shit."

"Dickmaster?"

"Don't call him that." Lucifer quickly turned his attention to Syn.

"I thought that was an his preferred nickname."

"It's really not something you should ever call anyone. Especially him." Lucifer's mouth was drawn into a thin line, and he was glaring daggers at Adam.

"Adam. Just call me Adam." For once in his existence, Adam was in agreement with the Devil.

"Okay!"

"That's settled." Lucifer let out a breath at the exact same time as Adam, both their shoulders relaxing in sync. Adam noticed and immediately folded his arms again before anyone else took note. "And look, we're almost here!" He gestured and Adam saw quite the crowd of Sinners and Hellborns lined up in mass in front of a pair of large, arching golden gates. "You just wait here for a moment. Lysander- make sure Adam doesn't wander off. Syn, make sure Lysander doesn't wander off. And Adam... I dunno, just try not to get cut." Lucifer took a deep breath. "I'm serious though, Lysander you make sure, no matter what, Adam doesn't get cut, punched, shoved over- anything that could draw blood."

"Sir yes sir." Lysander gave a little salute and Lucifer vanished. "That's a super specific request. I feel like: 'Make sure Adam doesn't get hurt' would have been sufficient, but that's why I'm not the boss I guess."

"Yeah, it's really because Lucifer is dumb and not because there's anything wrong with my blood. You know, in case that's what you were thinking." Thankfully, Adam was quick on his feet and able to divert Lysander before he questioned Lucifer's request any further. Crisis averted.

"I wasn't. But thank you for ruling out that one, very niche line of thought for me." Lysander raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're welcome." Adam nodded his head. There was a definite shift in the crowd. All at once they started to turn away from the park. The mood went from excited to angry in a matter of moments. Lysander pushed Adam back with his arm and Adam saw the translucent gun appear again as his tail swished. But the crowd didn't really seem too interested in them as Lucifer reappeared.

"Good news everyone! We are going to have the park to ourselves." Lucifer dusted himself off. "The bad news is that there might be a riot."

"Is the bad news that we're missing the riot?" Lysander looked at his gun, then at the crowd, his tail drooping slightly.

"Yes, we're missing the riot. Sorry Lysander." Lucifer patted him on the back. "We're going to use a back entrance into the park to avoid the worst of it. Adam, stay close." Lucifer grabbed him by the wrist pulling him right beside him. Adam tried to break free but found himself to be quite trapped as he was pulled along behind Lucifer. Syn, seemingly giving up on flying at this point, landed on Adam's head. He was impressed she stayed balanced as he was dragged along the gate until they reached a very small, locked entrance. Lucifer tapped his cane on the lock and the door swung open. He pulled Adam (and Syn) through the entryway, Lysander bringing up the rear. As soon as they were through, Lysander's gun vanished.

"Aww..." He looked disappointedly at his hands which had previously been gripping a weapon. "I didn't even get to shoot anyone."

"Sorry, no weapons allowed" Lucifer looked Adam up and down, spinning him around before finally letting him go. "Doesn't look like you got hurt... good."

"I'll be honest, I'm a bit surprised you are letting me go out in any kind of group." Adam had to raise the question. Perhaps this was the point in time where Lucifer revealed the entire Corruption bit to be a bold-faced lie and Adam was secretly fine. After all, why else would he let him go outside?

"Well, you're not going to Corrupt Syn. She's a machine. And I can keep an eye on you and Lysander. Overall, this is a pretty controlled environment." Lucifer gave a shrug. "Plus, if I entertain you, you're less likely to run."

"I am incorruptible because I was made by the best." Syn was still sitting on Adam's head and overheard the conversation, but it didn't seem as if Lucifer had filled her in on his whole scam.

"Exactly." Lucifer gave Syn a little pat. "Now if you are done trying to poke holes in my logic, are you ready to be amazed? Be wowed!? Have your jaw hit the floor!?" Lucifer put his hand on Adam's back as he led him out of the small alleyway and toward this allegedly amazing park. Adam rolled his eyes.

"I mean, I wouldn't hold my breath on that."

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Syn. I know you'll be amazed but you'll also be too much of a petty bitch to actually admit it. I've accepted that." Lucifer pulled Adam out of the alley and gestured dramatically around him. "Welcome to Lu Lu World! A piece of Heaven in Hell, but better, because I came up with it. That's the tagline." Lucifer pointed to a nearby sign that did, in fact, have the entire spiel crawled under the Lu Lu World title. Seemed a little desperate, but Adam didn't have long to think about it because he had finally reached the park.

"Oooooo!" He could hear Syn cry out in excitement from her spot on top of his head. It was a bit overkill, but he knew she adored the Devil and would do anything to help inflate that already planet sized ego. That isn't to say the theme park wasn't something to behold. Adam would never admit it to himself but it was impressive. As soon as he stepped out from the narrow street, he saw a sprawling, gilded wonderland before him. Towering rides, lively stalls of exciting looking games and wondrous prizes, beautiful buildings that looked like something out of a fairytale, and a gorgeous plant life sprawled throughout the park. The streets were paved with some sort of luminescent golden stone that lit up underfoot, it seemed like they were inside as Adam could no longer see the siren call of Heaven, tormenting him from the sky. Instead, the sky looked more like the one back on earth. There were bright stars twinkling overhead, a beautiful glowing moon casting light over the park. It was definitely night (though Adam was fairly certain by Hell's time it was day) but he could still see everything clearly as all the buildings, the street, and even some of the plants gave off a warm, welcoming light. Adam didn't even realize his mouth was open until he felt the apple shaped cane-topper underneath his chin, slowly pushing his mouth closed. Lucifer was grinning at him from ear to ear.

"Nice, right?"

"It's fine, I guess." Adam tried his best to appear nonchalant. It was actually incredible. Upon closer inspection, the posts that helped light the paths were made of pure light. It was shockingly serene, especially for Hell.

"Damn, it would really kill you to pay me a compliment, huh?" Lucifer looked more amused than anything else. "That's okay, I know the truth." He started walking ahead once more. "Now anything with my face on it, you can take from for free. This trip is on me. Anything without my face still costs money because those are independent businesses. I try to support growing industry."

"Wait... seriously?" Lysander looked like a kid in a candy store, his pointed ears were perked up, his tail high. "I am getting a hat!" He immediately ran off to one of the booths with an obnoxious smiling Lucifer-face on the front and returned with an oversized top hat that matched Lucifer's complete with the dopey looking snake and apple on the brim.

"Dude, seriously?" Adam raised an eyebrow. The hat bulged awkwardly in the middle due to Lysander's horns preventing the rim from going all the way over his head. He just had the brim balanced under where the horns curled.

"It's free." Lysander replied as-a-matter-of-factly. "And I am not gonna turn down free shit in Hell. That's lesson one."

"Can I have a hat!?"

"Of course you can, Syn." Lucifer walked to the same booth, picking up another hat and plopping it on Adam's head.

"What the fuck!? I don't want that stupid shit!" Adam tried to take it off, but Lucifer swatted his hands away.

"It's not for you, dumbass. It's for Syn."

"I feel very cool!" Ah right, Syn was still on his head. He could rip the hat off, but then he might accidentally knock her off in the process and- while she could fly- he didn't really feel like possibly damaging her and garnering Lucifer's wrath in the process. (That, of course, was the sole reason for Adam allowing her to remain inside the horrible looking hat. It had nothing to do with how excited she sounded when Lucifer had put it on.)

"You are very cool, Syn." Lucifer assured her. "And you can practice interacting with people by talking to the staff here. It will be good for you to learn how to converse with people outside of myself and Lysander."

"I will talk to all of them!"

"Maybe not all of them, but I like your enthusiasm." Lucifer continued to lead them down the path. Lysander kept vanishing and reappearing with more and more Lucifer themed stuff.

"Can she even see under that hat?" Adam was just waiting for Syn to get bored and move. Though some of the things Lysander was returning with were starting to catch Adam's interest. None of the Lucifer stuff, obviously, but the food looked good. And Adam hadn't eaten since he had arrived in Hell. He was actually starting to feel ravenous which was strange because he hadn't felt hunger at all since, well, he had died. As they walked past each of the booths, Adam saw that most everything was apple flavored: apple tarts, apple turnover, apple fritter, apple cider, and so on and so forth. Finally, he saw just basic popcorn. There was one booth selling it in a stupid looking apple shaped tin, but there was another selling it in a regular bag. Adam's stomach growled so he grabbed the bag and just began to eat. God he was starving. He finished the entire bag and grabbed a second one. He was thirsty too, but that could be dealt with in a moment.

"You know you gotta pay for that shit, dude." The Hellborn running the counter was giving Adam an annoyed look.

"No, I don't." Adam pointed behind him to where Lucifer was probably still standing. "I'm with the Devil."

"I don't give a shit who you're with. I am losing money with the park closed down and you're eating all my food."

"Yeah, but it's okay. I was hungry."

"Listen here you two-toned fuck." The Hellborn started to come out of the booth, claws and teeth clearly visible. "I want my goddamn money and if you don't pay up, I will rip you apart and sell your organs to get it."

"Woah now!" Lucifer was suddenly at Adam's side, a hand on his chest, another on his back as he pulled Adam backward. "You know I don't allow fighting on Lu Lu World grounds, and certainly no dying. You need to take that shit off the property."

"This asshole just fucking stole from me." The Hellborn did relax her posture as Lucifer appeared, but her expression stayed rather intense.

"I was hungry, so I ate the food that was right there." Adam gestured to the shelf where all of the popcorn bags were lined up, ripe for the taking. "I don't see the problem."

"The problem," Lucifer brought his hand to his face and slowly dragged it down in exasperation, "is that she is an independent contractor. Remember? I gave a whole fucking speech on how you can have anything from a booth with my face on it but NOT from booths without it?" He pointed to the booth in question. "Do you see my fucking face on this, Adam!?" Adam still had the popcorn in his hands, actively shoving it in his mouth.

"Right there." Adam swallowed a mouthful of salty, buttery treat, as he pointed to a picture on the side of the booth.

"Adam that is a fucking smiley face! It looks nothing like me!"

"It doesn't have a nose, you don't have a nose..." Adam felt as if he were making some good points, but Lucifer and the Hellborn stared at each other in silence, before Lucifer let out a frustrated, heavy sigh.

"I'll pay for what he ate." He handed the Hellborn a card and she seemed satisfied. "But this is coming out of your paycheck. I am your boss not your fucking Sugar Daddy."

"My pay what?" Adam continued to eat unabashed by what was around him. Lucifer looked for a second as if Adam had struck him across the face.

"Paycheck! The funds you get from doing your job. I keep telling you: this isn't Heaven. Shit costs money."

"Yeah, I never really had to deal with that." Adam gave a little shrug. "I mean we didn't really do that whole... economy thing when I was on Earth. And Heaven just lets you take what you want, so you kinda lost me." He reached for a bottle of wine from the booth's display, but Lucifer pulled him back.

"Nope. Not for you. You have lost your taking stuff privileges as you clearly cannot follow very simple instructions."

"I'm thirsty." Adam pointed at the bottle he wanted.

"Fine. Don't touch anything." Lucifer took his card back from the Hellborn and walked to a different booth, grabbing a bottle wrapped in decorative white wrapping and handing it to Adam. Adam took a swig before spitting it out (he would have spit it all over the Hellborn and her wares, but Lucifer forcibly turned his head making him spit on the ground.)

"Gross. Apple." Adam made a face. Lucifer glared at him.

"Come the fuck on, Adam. It's apple juice. You used to like apples if I remember."

"Used to. I wonder what might have happened that changed that, hm?" Adam met his gaze, still holding the bottle in his hand. Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"The Fruit of Knowledge wasn't even really an apple. It just took the form of your favorite fruit which, for you and Eve, was apples."

"My point still stands." Adam wasn't about to back down. "Do you have anything not fucking apple related." Lucifer took the bottle from Adam and handed him a different one.

"It's water." Lucifer informed him before Adam even had a chance to ask. "So, you shouldn't have any reason to complain. Unless, of course, you suddenly hate water too because you saw me drink it one time."

"Water's fine." Adam snatched the bottle from Lucifer and began to drink heavily.

"Damn, would it kill you to say fucking thanks?" Lucifer looked very clearly annoyed.

"To you? I dunno probably." Adam continued to drink.

"Are you done causing trouble? You haven't even gone on any rides or played any games." Lucifer gestured for Adam to follow him once again. "And if you can't behave, I will take you back home."

"I would like to play a game!" There was a happy comment from beneath the top hat. Adam was beginning to wonder if Syn had gone to sleep or something since she hadn't really interjected in the food fiasco.

"There you are, you didn't want to practice talking to that Hellborn?" Adam tried to look at Syn but she was on his head, making it physically impossible.

"I am shy. I did not know what to say to them. But I do want to try a game."

"I have the perfect game for you, Syn!" Lucifer took them to a beautiful stream filled to the brim with little rubber ducks. "You just pick three ducks and if you get a red apple on the bottom, you win a prize!"

"Oh, I suck at this one." Lysander made a face.

"I cannot see the ducks."

"That's because your hat is too big." Lucifer lifted the top hat off of Adam's head and Syn flew out from under it, buzzing excitedly over the river. "Better?"

"Affirmative, Master!"

"So, she does have eyes?" Adam let Lucifer keep hold of Syn's hat since he was the one who had given it to her.

"She has sensors." Lucifer replied flatly. "So, she can see, just not in a traditional sense." Syn spun in a little circle, nudging one of the ducks. Lucifer picked it up for her. "Nope, two more chances." He put the duck off to the side. Syn flew to a different duck and began nudging it. Lucifer picked it up out of the water, turning it over. "One more chance, Syn." Syn flew around for a minute, back and forth before landing on the back of another duck. Lucifer picked it up and Adam watched the apple mark materialize on the bottom. "You did it!"

"I get a prize!"

"You sure do." He gestured at the (lame looking) prizes hanging overhead. Syn started flying repeatedly into a snake plush that was golden like the one on Lucifer's hat.

"This one!"

"That one it is." Lucifer took it from the rack and handed it right to Adam. "Hold this for Syn."

"Oh shit, can we do the shooting game?" Lysander didn't even make an attempt at the ducks. Adam didn't blame him, it looked- from his perspective at least- that Lucifer had just cheated for Syn to win, but Adam didn't know enough about the game to say for sure.

"I'd play that." A shooting game did sound like more fun for Adam than a game about ducks. He was a pretty good shot, after all.

"Sure, why not." Lucifer led them to a booth where a rifle sat on the table. Lysander picked it up.

"Probably gonna need all my eyes for this, huh?" Lysander, much to Adam's confusion, pulled his hair back, revealing a third eye under his bangs.

"Wait! You have three fucking eyes!?" Adam had spent a good part of his day with this dude and had definitely only ever seen the two of them.

"Yep. Trait from my biological mother." The eye on his forehead closed and seemed to sink into the icy blue skin, vanishing all together. "I can move it at will." Lysander poked out his long, serpentine tongue and the eye was now on the tip of it. It blinked at Adam who jumped back.

"Fucking gross!"

"It's actually really useful, gives me three-hundred-and-sixty-degree vison when I really need it." The eye vanished from the tongue and reappeared back on his forehead. "Great for not getting ambushed~" Lysander took aim with the gun. "Let's fucking go!" All at once the booth sprung alive with cardboard Exorcists popping out from all angles. (Okay, shooting Exorcists felt a little wrong, but Adam still wanted to play.) Lysander began to shoot. He fired off in rapid succession hitting each of the cutouts between the eyes.

"I still got it!" He looked pleased as the Hellborn behind the counter handed him a rather well made, light up orb that looked almost exactly like the moon. It even floated over Lysander's hand. "Papa would be proud."

"I want to try." Adam picked up the gun.

"Adam, you're newly blind in one eye." Lucifer didn't stop him, but apparently felt it necessary to remind Adam of his current condition. "Sure you don't want to try and get used to that first?"

"Pfft," Adam readied the gun. "It's fine. I had two eyes for a reason. Only need one to function." This was the first fun looking thing he had seen. Lucifer shrugged and the Exorcists started to appear again. Perhaps Adam should have taken Lucifer's advice. At first, he was missing rather badly, nearly clipping Syn with one of the (fake?) bullets. (At least Adam assumed they were fake. Lucifer had said there were no weapons in Lu Lu World.) It took him a bit to adjust his aim, he did hit a few shots toward the end, but overall, he was not happy with his performance. "Can I try again?"

"We aren't staying here all day for you to get a perfect score. There are other games." Lucifer waved Adam along to follow him. The Hellborn behind the counter handed Adam a very poorly constructed toy of Lucifer, the arms seemed to be falling off.

"Consolation prize." The Hellborn explained. "Usually for the kids, but you scored about the same.

"Hey, fuck you." Adam snatched the prize away and shoved it in his pocket. He didn't really want it, but maybe he could give it to Cain later as a peace offering. (Though he really needed to win something better than a shitty Lucifer doll to get his son to talk to him).

"Oooo!" Syn flew over to a large glowing Test Your Strength machine. There was a massive hammer sitting off to the side. "Can I play this one!?"

"You can't pick the hammer up." Adam pointed out.

"Aw."

"Here," Lucifer put the hammer beside the metal plate that was supposed to be struck in order to get a score. "Fly into it and knock it over." Syn did as she was told. She flew into the hammer until it flopped over, giving her a rather low score. However, the Hellborn behind the counter gave her a little plastic flower as a prize.

"I won!"

"You sure did." Lucifer took the plastic flower and put it on top of Syn, somehow it stayed put as she flew in a little circle.

"I can play this one." Adam at least had the distinct advantage that he had arms and could actually lift the hammer.

"You know you aren't as strong as you were in your angel form." Lucifer was either cautioning him, or simply trying to save Syn the embarrassment. (Though Adam highly doubted Syn would care. She didn't seem overwhelmingly competitive.)

"It's a fucking game, I think I'll be fine." Adam lifted the hammer. It was heavier than he was expecting, though it wasn't as if it was unwieldy. He tightened his grip, raising it up and slamming it down on the metal plate. The game lit up. His score was... okay.

"Better than I thought you'd get." Lucifer handed Adam a small, plush apple from the prize table. It was only about the size of Adam's fist. Adam rolled his eyes and shoved it in his pocket with the tiny toy Lucifer. There was no way he was dragging Lucifer's fucking merchandise with him back to Heaven. It would be even more unfortunate if he had to explain how he had gotten the Lucifer doll to all his Exorcists. "Here," Lucifer cracked his knuckles, stretching out his hands before picking up the hammer with insulting ease. "Watch the master at work."

"Hurray Master!" Syn called excitedly as she flew in circles around his head.

"You got this, Boss-man! I believe in you." Lysander echoed the sentiment.

"All righty then!" Lucifer made a show of twirling the hammer all around like it was some kind of baton. He brought it down toward the pressure-plate, stopping just before he hit. He paused, looking back at Adam, making eye contact, before lightly tapping the plate. The score soared so high the lights reached all the way to the top. Lucifer picked up a prize, a large potted plant. (Kind of a weird prize for a game, but whatever). He handed it to Adam.

"Bro, I don't want your shit." Adam held out his hands to refuse.

"Really? I'm surprised." Lucifer started to take the gift back, "Cain donated this himself, it's one of his favorite flowers, and-"

"Give it to me." Adam took it back, holding it close. It did look like something Cain would have enjoyed. The bright colors and delicate petals reminded him of the beautiful flowers Cain used to grow for Evie back at their little home. He always had such a green thumb, he took the soil and turned it to art.

"Changed your mind, I see." Lucifer grinned. "Well then shall we go to the best ride in the whole park? I mean we could keep collecting prizes, but we'll have to carry them all home and you're running out of arm space."

"The Fall!" Lysander gave a cheer. "Aw fuck yeah! No wait time!? I am gonna ride it until I puke!"

"Hurray! Ride!" Syn was just agreeable to whatever was suggested so her opinion didn't hold too much water with Adam, but Lysander's comment had intrigued him. (Though he highly doubted Lucifer would be super happy if Adam started throwing up on the ride- but that really just made it all the more appealing.)

"This way Adam, to the best ride in the park. Heaven wishes they had something like this. But since their a bunch of cloud-hugging pussies- they can't." Lucifer was talking a pretty big game- which was par for the course given the Devil's massive ego. (Though everything Adam had seen thus far had been... fun. The games were obviously rigged, but the food was good, and the atmosphere was actually quite enchanting. Not that Adam would tell Lucifer.)

"It probably won't even crack the top ten." Adam shrugged as he followed Lucifer along the pathway. They passed several more rides before they reached a large sign behind a golden glowing stairway. The sign simply read: THE FALL. Beside it was a silhouette of Lucifer and Lilith falling away from the bright ball that represented Heaven in the sky. Adam frowned a bit. That had not exactly been a great day for him but he couldn't compare it to how Lucifer had felt. So why make a ride to commemorate the worst experience in his existence? That seemed like a really strange choice. But Lucifer didn't seem fazed by the whole ordeal.

"I know what you're thinking," the Devil hopped on the first step. "Why make a ride about one of most painful and horrid experiences in your entire life? Isn't that trauma-dumping and a poor coping mechanism? I mean," he laughed, "what are you, my therapist? This ride kicks ASS and I am really happy with it." Adam raised an eyebrow, following Lucifer up the golden stairway. It was quite the climb. The higher they got, the more it felt like Heaven. The beautiful nighttime theme park slowly vanished and Adam was met with bright skies and clouds. There were faceless angels hanging in the distance, he could hear the faint melody of a harp.

"Oh fuck yes!" Lysander managed to reach the top of the stairs first running onto the platform that was shaped like a cloud. Adam bent down, touching it. It even felt like the ground in heaven, soft... warm... he stood back up, following Lysander and Lucifer as he past more faceless angels. These seemed to be moving, flitting about, some playing instruments. It was hard to tell if they were projections or animatronics.

"Please step into the holy center of the room." The ride operator was dressed in angelic garb with the most unconvincing pair of fake wings strapped to her back. "All arms, legs, tentacles, and other appendages must stay at your sides once the ride is in progress. Please place all items along the edge. They will be returned to you at the photo booth. Remember to pick them up because cleanliness is next to Godliness. Now stand still and enjoy the story of our brave and mighty King, Lucifer, and his rise to power in Hell. And have a blessed day." The Hellborn stepped back and seemed to vanish as they closed a door. Adam wasn't even sure when they had entered a building.

"Brave and mighty," Lucifer elbowed Adam in his ribs. "Did you hear that?"

"It's clearly a script dude. Don't milk this." Adam swatted him away before going to put the plant that Lucifer had w- that Adam had obtained- on the edge of the room, along with Syn's snake plush. Lysander put his cool moon-looking orb down as well.

"Oh Syn, you better stay in my pocket. Don't want you falling out." Lucifer took Syn and placed her in his coat pocket, she wriggled a bit till just the top of her was sticking out. Adam presumed this was so she could see. But in all honesty, he had no idea.

"Lucifer Morningstar," All of the sudden, they were not alone. Adam stepped back as he heard a voice speaking. The bright Heavenly lights began to dim and turn red. Shadows cast along the wall. Adam could see a silhouette of Lucifer and Lilith before him, and in front of them, a faceless angel, six wings, two halos, and a flaming sword. The only parts of him not blacked out were the many eyes on the halos and wings, and the distinct, angry frown. "You have committed treason against your holy brethren and broken our most sacred rule."

"Is that supposed to be Michael?" Adam looked over at Lucifer who was staring up at the massive, looming silhouette.

"Shh, yes that's clearly Michael." Lucifer whispered back to him.

"It doesn't look anything like him."

"It's a silhouette! It's artistic, dumbass."

"Also, your name wasn't even Lucifer back then."

"Adam, shut up." Lucifer shushed him again. The silhouette of Michael split into four and suddenly they were surrounded on all four sides by looming, angry figures with their massive wings, clearly outlined weapons in their hands. Adam felt... small by comparison.

"For your crimes, you must suffer. No longer are you welcome in Heaven's divine light. You shall be cast out to the depths below." The shadow of Michael before them was intimidating and Adam found himself stepping backward.

"But I only wanted to give the humans free will." The tiny Lucifer in front of the overwhelming form of Michael was pleading for any sort of mercy. But the simplistic, two-dimensional face stayed contorted in rage.

"Into the void with you traitor!" The Michael lunged forward, and Adam felt something slash against his chest. It didn't hurt, it just felt like a rough blast of air. But it scared the shit out of him. What was even worse was the ground under his feet vanished and he started to freefall. Adam let out a scream, his wings spreading out to no avail. He grabbed onto Lucifer with both arms. Fuck it. That asshole could fly and if Adam was going to fall to his death, he was going to land on the little bitch responsible. He could hear Lysander laughing as suddenly bars wrapped around him and a seat appeared under his legs, and he was sitting on a ride. It began to tumble and twist in all directions. It was dark, pitch black, except for flashes of light where an Angels in Exorcist's masks would appear beside them weapons raise. Finally, the ride came to a stop. There was an animatronic Lucifer at the bottom, a Lilith on his arm.

"I don't need Heaven. I know I did the right thing. We did the right thing. And together we will build a city like no other!"

"WOOHOO FUCK YEAH THAT RIDE IS THE BEST!" Lysander bounced off the ride, practically climbing over Adam to get out. "I want my commemorative photo!"

"Welllll?" Lucifer looked at Adam expectantly.

"It was fine." It kicked ASS. It was probably the most thrilling ride on which Adam had ever ridden. "Not super accurate. The Exorcist Angels during the actual falling are pretty anachronistic and I could do without having to look at my ex-wife."

"People like the Exorcists on the ride. They recognize them." Lucifer gave a shrug as they walked to a little booth where Lysander was buying his picture.

"Like I said, it was pretty fun. Not like it shook me up. I'm a bit too tough for thrill-rides you s-." Adam coughed as he saw himself latched onto Lucifer mid-scream, the Devil looking quite smug in his death grip in the photos at the booth. Lucifer looked over at him with that same self-satisfied expression.

"You sure about that?"

"I was surprised is all. What are you doing?" Adam tried to grab Lucifer who was going toward the photos.

"I want my picture." Lucifer easily kept moving despite Adam trying to hold him back.

"Why would you want that!?"

"Because your face is hilarious." Lucifer held up the photo and Adam's cheeks tinted gold and he looked away quickly, gathering the plant he had to put down at the beginning of the ride. Fortunately, it looked as if it was all in one piece.

"I told you I was just surprised."

"No worries, mate." Lysander put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "You held together pretty well for a first timer. What about you Syn, how did you do?"

No answer.

"Syn?" Lucifer checked his pocket. "Ah fuck. Syn fell out!" The Devil tucked the photo away running back toward the stairs where they started.

"You lost Syn!?" Adam ran after him.

"I did not lose her. She fell out." Lucifer kept running up the stairs with Adam and Lysander following. "Chances are, because she can fly, she just kept floating during the drop." They made it back to the top. Lucifer didn't even look remotely winded, but Adam was panting.

"Please move into th-" The Hellborn started to give the speech again, but Lucifer shook his head.

"We have a straggler." He ran back to the center of the room as he saw the Syn hanging out beside the Michael silhouette.

"You should be nice to Master." Syn was lecturing the animatronic. Adam had to stifle a laugh. "Because Master is very good at what he does, and you are just not nice. You need to try self-care. I can make you an appointment."

"There you are!" Lucifer took her from beside the other animatronic. "You were supposed to fall down with the rest of us."

"That guy was being rude to you. But as your Voice, I defended your honor!"

"Awww, thank you, Syn." Lucifer took her back down the stairs.

They stayed a while longer. Adam tried a few rollercoasters, some more games, even some of the non-apple food. They did have trouble keeping Syn on the rides. She had a habit of falling out no matter who was keeping hold of her. Eventually Lucifer showed her how to get to the lost and found. After a ride, they would go pick her up from there when she inevitably fell out. The poor Hellborn manning the station must have had her ear talked off by Syn.

Adam hated to admit it... but it was actually a pretty fun day overall. He didn't think it was possible to have fun in Hell. (At least for the suckers who were trapped down here. When you were an Exorcist, it was easy.) Lucifer had made his point; he had truly created something exciting down in the worst place in the afterlife. For a moment, Adam was able to see a bit of the angel he had once known in Eden as Lucifer laughed and talked with his mansion staff.

By the time they had made it back, it was already getting late. There were more Sinners on the streets than before. Hell's nightlife was only just getting started. Adam was forced to stay close to Lucifer as they navigated back toward his house. For his first day in Hell... it hadn't been the worst. Adam had definitely suffered far worse as a living human. Perhaps this was just a way to set his expectations mediocre so they could be crushed to pieces at a later date. It was a weird method of torture, but it made some degree of sense.

"So? Not bad right? Who's pathetic now?" Lucifer opened the door, and they filed back in.

"Still you." Adam mused.

"Are you kidding!?" Lysander was in a great mood. "Best. Boss. Ever. I'm putting my prize up in my room!" He bolted up the stairs, stopping as he reached the top. "Syn! Need me to get your door for you? I got your prizes!"

"Oh yes thank you!"

"Yeah, I have a plant to put up." Adam followed Syn and Lysander up the stairs, Lucifer tailing behind them, as it seemed all the bedrooms were on the second floor. He watched Lysander open Syn's door and put her things down before Adam opened his own door kicking the ducks aside and placing his plant on the little desk. It did add a little something, a bit of flair that gave the room a bit more of a personal feel. (Plus, he had a reason to call Cain and show him the flower.)

Adam was tired, but not yet ready to go to bed. Maybe he could work off some excess energy at the gym Lysander had snuck into the house.

He opened his door again, stopping in the hallway. The place was a mess. There were ducks everywhere along with discarded and forgotten papers. (Damn, Adam sure hoped none of this shit was important in any way.) The mansion was gaudy, sure, but it wasn't really an evil lair befitting the King of Lies. If anything, the mess was... kind of sad. He looked at the portrait of Lilith, Lucifer, and their baby that was beside the Devil's room- it was one Adam hadn't defaced. Lilly's judgmental little smile looked just as condescending in painted form as Adam remembered. Good to know she could still haunt him even now. She'd probably find his damnation hilarious- befitting even. If she could see how far he had Fallen...

No. Adam was better than that. He had gone to Heaven for a fucking reason. He was not about to give up on himself. Lucifer had been down here for centuries and he had made fucking Lu Lu World. And sure, Adam would never admit it to his face- but that place kicked fucking ASS! Lucifer had gotten kicked out of Heaven (on purpose, unlike Adam who was clearly only here by mistake) and had made something that even Heaven couldn't completely match!

Maybe Lucifer wasn't quite as pathetic as Adam first thought! Maybe...

He trailed off, surveying the mess again. This mansion wasn't half bad. It probably looked pretty fucking cool in its prime.

It just needed a bit of sprucing up...

Adam took a deep breath and started to pick up the papers that littered the floor. He couldn't think in this mess. (And Lucifer had sort of treated him to a fun time today.) He stacked them on an end table at the start of the hallway and began to gather the ducks. Maybe the house wasn't terrible it just needed a little spring cleaning. And, perhaps, Adam could try and do something to help out. He had been nothing but negative since he had arrived and...

Lucifer's bedroom door swung open, and the devil looked out to see Adam with the last armful of ducks that he was moving out of the hall and into the containers that were not yet overflowing. He blinked, rubbing his eyes. He had shed his coat and vest and was instead in just his pants and collared shirt, he looked as if he was in the process of getting ready to go to sleep. But he was now just standing in the doorway staring at Adam.

"What?" Adam stared back at him.

"D... did you clean the hallway?"

"Am I keeping you up?" Adam didn't give him a straight up answer.

"N... no but... it looks nice out here..."

"I mean, it was just cluttered. Hard to think in this fucking disaster." Adam gave a little shrug. He put the last of the ducks up. His stomach churned and he hunched over a bit. Maybe the food in Hell was starting to disagree with him.

"I... Adam..." Lucifer's expression softened, he looked at Adam who was starting to feel nauseous. "Thank you."

"It's nothing." Adam tried to wave it away. It wasn't a big deal. "Really." Ugh he really wasn't feeling great now.

"No, it was actually really nice of you." Lucifer wasn't letting this go.

"I was just-" Adam cut off mid-sentence, hunching over and throwing up viscous, black goo onto the floor. "Ah fuck." Lucifer's eyes widened. He looked at Adam who stared back at him. Adam looked at the oozing black mess on the floor then back to Lucifer.

"You just threw up." Lucifer looked more shocked than upset.

"Yeah, I noticed."

"You threw up that awful, infectious black gunk."

"Gonna be honest, don't love it when you describe it like that. Pretty fucking gross, my dude."

"But... why?" Lucifer looked at Adam and the First Man found himself staring back at him rather uncertain.

"I dunno man, theme park food? All I had today was popcorn and water. It probably just made me fucking sick."

"No if you were sick you would have just thrown up. But look at that!" Lucifer gestured to the mess on the floor.

"I absolutely do not want to look at it." Adam turned his head the opposite direction.

"That's not fucking food. That is Corruption. You somehow... holy fucking shit..." Lucifer began pacing back and forth. "How... how could this even happen!? Adam..." he turned to face him, grabbing both if Adam's shoulders in his clawed grip, shaking him. "This might be something good- no- GREAT!"

"Great!?" Adam gestured to the mess. "Are you fucking kidding me!? I just cleaned that god damn floor!"

"No, no, no, no, no... forget about the mess." Lucifer's grip on him tightened. "It's nothing. But you..." He looked at Adam with genuine excitement. "I gave to do some research but... if my theory is correct... you might be getting better!"

Chapter Text

Adam had thrown up the Corruption.

Right on the floor, completely unprompted. If Lucifer hadn't watched it happen, he would have never believed it. The first two times that toxic black gunk had splattered on the floor had been because of Lucifer's own magic. (Infernal magic wasn't the best at combating the Eldritch, but it was moderately successful. Holy magic was far more potent- so the fact that Adam had gotten Corrupted at all was still alarming to say the very least.) But he hadn't used any magic. He had just been minding his own business, readying himself to sleep- it wasn't really necessary for him. But he enjoyed sleeping, sometimes he indulged in it, which would have been problematic in Heaven, but in Hell, he made the rules and could do whatever the fuck he wanted. Though, sleeping was going to have to wait because Adam threw up the Corruption, completely unprompted, onto the nice clean floor.

(Also, Adam had been cleaning, which in and of itself was pretty fucking weird because Lucifer was fairly sure the only type of cleaning house that Adam was good at, or even enjoyed was the kind that involved murder.)

So, Lucifer had to forego the joys of sleeping to escape the Hellish torment of the waking world. And with Adam here, it really was bordering on torment the likes of which he had not seen since his initial Fall. Sure, Adam had eased up and been less of a fucking nightmare toward the end of their outing, but cleaning Lucifer's hallway seemed immensely out of character for a man who would rather bite off his own wings than pay Lucifer a compliment. Sure, Adam was technically his maid, but they both knew Lucifer was just giving him a job he would absolutely hate to prove a point. The point was that Lucifer held the cards so long as Adam was in Hell. It was unspoken, but he had assumed it was very clear. He never thought Adam was actually going to do anything helpful. Honestly, Lucifer had presumed it was just impossible for Adam to do anything more than make his already awful situation worse than ever before. That was the nature of Corruption, it took the worst, most toxic traits of whatever host it burrowed into, and amplified them until there was nothing left but an empty, malignant shell where a soul once resided. It devoured you from the inside out. Lucifer had seen it before, seen friends and allies turn to monstrosities starting from within. Of course, Adam had yet to start growing extra eyes or mutate in any, physical way outside of what was typical of a Sinner. So, Adam still had time to salvage what was left of him.

Admittedly the few human cases Lucifer had witnessed over time were more severe and had been in the living.

This was why Lucifer had decided to forget his previous plan of sleeping and chose to bury himself in the scrolls he had obtained from Purgatory. He had sent Adam to bed, of course, Sinners needed rest and Lucifer assumed the Corruption drained Adam more quickly. (Though maybe it didn't as Adam always seemed to have the energy to find an insulting quip.) Plus, Lucifer wanted quiet while he researched. Lysander was probably passed out, Syn was in her room doing... something (Lucifer had no idea what Syn got up to most evenings) Quackers was in the kitchen, and Adam was in his newly chosen room (with any luck, asleep). So that left Lucifer alone to go to his study and pull out the scrolls that he had initially collected.

There were quite a few of them, mostly written by Uriel and the angels beneath her: The scribes, the know-it-alls. They were an obnoxious lot, constantly watching, observing, silently judging everything. But damn if they weren't good bookkeepers.

He started reading through them. They were written in an ancient Celestial dialect that would burn the eyes of the Sinners, but he was no mere Sinner. He had spoken this language since long before the humans took their first breath. (The fact that, the longer he stared, the more it hurt his eyes, hurt his ego more.) It had been so long ago that Lucifer had last looked into this, that he recalled being there when some of these scrolls were written.

There wasn't much on the actual Corruption or how it pertained to humans. It was mostly just recounting events that Lucifer had already witnessed. Which wasn't really helpful. He didn't need a history lesson, he needed answers.

He pushed the scrolls aside in frustration, finding that stupid log sheet he had to sign still lying in between the papers. He saw the checkout date and return date- the return date was even highlighted- fucking Jazeerael had no faith in him apparently. Though it did look like he did that for everyone. The log had the previous few checkout dates listed as well, all highlighted and all by the same fucker too. Who kept checking out the same scrolls over and over-

Lucifer's eyes scrolled up until he saw the signature toward the top. Instantly he got a sour taste in his mouth and his desire to read plummeted to nothing. God, nothing could suck the drive out of him like being reminded of that callous, unfeeling bastard that had unjustly cast him out from his home in Heaven for nothing more than helping humankind and daring to love.

Michael.

Forget about the research. It was all bullshit anyway. Why would Michael even have been looking at this shit? That asshole didn't do anything that wasn't directly related to fucking over Lucifer. It was basically his full-time job.

Fuck the research, Lucifer was going to bed.

He stormed out of his study and back to his room. This was a dumb idea anyway. Maybe Adam had a concussion from one of the rides or something and he was just looking too much into it. With a snap of his finger, Lucifer was in his bed clothes. He threw open the door to his room, slamming it shut, and jumping face-first onto his bed. Fuck everything, he was going to sleep.

Lucifer awoke feeling slightly more refreshed. Sleeping was really a great thing, maybe if more angels tried it- they wouldn't all be such bitches.

Another snap and he was in his suit, his hair perfect, not a single blemish on his face. He opened the door. He looked over the hallway, it was a lot nicer looking than it had been, so maybe he hadn't imagined the whole thing with Adam from the night before. (Or maybe he had, and he was just sleep-cleaning or something). Though, there was a new black stain on the floor of the Hallway near Adam's door. Lucifer had burned away all the Corruption from the night before... so this was new. Was it more Corruption? Had Adam cut himself? Or vomited again? Or had the First Man simply spilled some of the paints Syn collected onto Lucifer's floor for the sole purpose of staining it? That did seem likely.

Still, he couldn't take the risk. So, he moved a gloved hand in the air, over the stain, and infernal fire burned the gunk away. And with that, he headed down the stairs to the main hall. He saw Adam, Lysander, and Syn sitting in the parlor with takeout. (Lucifer had to assume Lysander bought it, as Adam and Syn had no money). "Good morning my faithful staff, and Adam."

"Morning boss."

"Master, you have awakened!"

"Look who finally decided to get his sorry ass out of fucking bed and join the waking world."

"Glad to see you are all awake and ready for a new day!" Perhaps, everything with Adam last night had just been a fluke. He seemed back to his wretched, intolerable self, relaxing on one of Lucifer's expensive parlor chairs wiping his greasy fingers on the easily stained fabric. "Adam, you seem to be feeling more yourself- which is to say- more like an obnoxious pain in my ass." Adam's face tinted gold on the pale, white side that Lucifer could see.

"Shut the fuck up, you're the whole goddamn reason I'm trapped down here."

"No. You're the reason you're trapped down here. I did not hold your weapon and force your hand to spill Hellborn blood. I did not whisper in your ear to attack my daughter, thereby breaking the terms of our agreement. Those were all choices you made on your own." Lucifer met his gaze. Yep, Adam was behaving as expected. Whatever head trauma he had suffered at the park had clearly resolved.

"I got you a bagel." Lysander intervened, holding up a bag for Lucifer to see. "Figured you might be hungry."

"Thank you." Lucifer joined them in the parlor, taking the bag and opening it to find a plain bagel, nothing fancy, but it was still nice to have been included. He preferred things that were decadent, sweet... but this was fine.

"I was gonna get you a different one, but Adam said this was a better option." Lysander went back to eating a sandwich that appeared to be more meat than anything else.

"He did?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow. Depending on what Lysander's initial choice had been, Adam had either made things far better or way worse. Before Lucifer could inquire further, Adam interrupted.

"I puked in the hallway this morning. Twice. Same spot though. Your theme park food is absolute shit, and I can't fucking keep it down." So that's what the black sludge was in front of Adam's door. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Why?"

"Dude, I don't fucking know. I told you, it's probably because the food here is terrible and I am used to tasting only the best in Heaven." Adam immediately went back to eating. Apparently, his problem with the food didn't include what appeared to be some kind of steak sandwich.

"I mean, all you ate yesterday was two buckets of popcorn. I feel like that's not really the fault of our cuisine so much as it is that you ate junk and rode Rollercoasters." Lysander remarked, mouth still half full.

"I wasn't gonna eat any of that apple shit." Adam scoffed. "Call it personal."

"Again, it wasn't actually an apple Adam. The forbidden fruit just looked that way because it was going to appear like what you enjoyed most." Lucifer rolled his eyes taking a bite of the bagel. It wasn't bad, even a little sweet. It might have had some sort of honey glaze, which was a pleasant surprise.

"I would have had a cake."

"You don't eat." Adam remarked dryly. Lucifer did notice that Syn had food in front of her. It was a muffin of some kind and at Adam's words, she flew up and landed on top of the muffin. It was almost as large as she was.

"But if I could, I would eat cake."

"You have good taste, Syn! You get that from me." Lucifer wasn't going to lie; he was low-key eyeing that muffin she had. It did look good.

"She doesn't even have a mouth." Adam had somehow managed to finish the entire sandwich, slathered cheese, while only managing to stain Lucifer's furniture. Adam's robes, which were all white, were pristine.

"I like to feel included."

"Dude, why the fuck are you bringing it up anyway? You were the one who suggested the muffin." Lysander's comment drew Lucifer's interest. It wasn't like the Adam he had come to know in the current times to show any kind of empathy.

"He did?" Lucifer looked over at Syn who was sitting on her muffin quite content, wings folded behind her. "That's uncharacteristically nice of you."

"No, I didn't." Adam rolled his eyes- or at least the only eye that had a pupil. "I was being sarcastic, and you decided to take it literally." He reached into his bag of food pulling out some sort of fried potato snack that definitely looked to be covered in grease. Lucifer clearly watched Adam wipe his hands on the plush chair.

"You know, you are just making more work for yourself. You're the maid." Lucifer pointed out the fact that all these stains were eventually going to be Adam's problem.

"Yeah, but I'm not doing that." Adam popped one of the little round snacks into his mouth. "I thought that was pretty well established."

"You did it last night." Lucifer mused.

"I fucking told you; I only did that because it was hard to think in that fucking disaster of a hallway. Plus, I didn't want to trip over something in the dead of night and break my neck. I mean, it's unlikely because I am so smooth and coordinated, but like, why risk it? Ya know?" As he spoke, Adam was leaning the chair back on its two legs, pushing off with his foot. He attempted to remain balanced, but the chair tumbled back, and Adam's wings spread out as he tried to catch himself. The wings knocked over one of Lucifer's very nice vases as Adam crashed to the ground. Lucifer went to catch it with magic, but to his complete shock, Adam caught it right before it hit the ground. Adam seemed to surprise himself, as he glanced at the vase in his hand before letting it drop to the floor. Of course, it was already pretty close to the ground, so it didn't damage the vase at all, and it rolled to the side. Lucifer watched Adam's expression and he mostly looked annoyed if anything. Maybe a little... queasy?

"That was truly coordinated." Lucifer put the bagel in his teeth for a moment so he could clap his hands for Adam's little display. He took a bite before holding it again.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Adam lifted the chair back up and gathered the little potatoes he had spilled, putting them back in the bag. Lucifer made a face.

"Adam those were on the ground."

"Five second rule." Adam made direct eye contact with Lucifer as he took his snack from the bag and put it in his mouth.

"I do not have a five second rule in my list of rules."

"Not a real rule, Syn. Ignore him. It's something humans invented so they could eat food off the ground, like heathens." Lucifer considered just making the food in question vanish from existence, but it might not be worth the fight. "This isn't Heaven, Adam, and while my mansion is clean, that kind of shit will make you sick."

"I mean, I'm already sick, right?" Adam didn't sound all that concerned. "Plus, when I was alive, we didn't bother with all of this nonsense. I ate right off the ground all the time with zero negative consequences."

"In Eden." While Adam had a point, there was a major part of the story missing. "I guarantee that if you ate off the ground outside of Eden, that you were filled with a massive amount of regret."

"Only if I did it outside of that five second window. That's how I know about the rule, I discovered it through science. Cause I'm smart like that."

"Adam is a very scientific maid!"

"Not a maid." Adam interjected at the exact same moment Lucifer said:

"He's not scientific."

"Wow," Adam looked over at Lucifer, apparently having heard his retort. "Fuck off, old man. I am incredibly scientific. I had to be, you know, First Man and all that." He gave a smug little smirk to Lucifer before looking over at Lysander and Syn. "Who do you think named all the animals and plants that you see on Earth?"

"I have not been to Earth. Until yesterday, I was not allowed to leave the house. The outside is off limits."

"My dad took me to Earth like... twice?" Lysander had to think about it. If Lysander had access to Earth, his father had to be incredibly high up. Damned if Lucifer couldn't remember exactly who it was. Maybe he should pull up a list of all the highest ranking Hellborns and just try to see which one looked like Lysander. "Not sure if I saw any animals."

"Yeah, I forgot that Fuck-Face keeps Syn locked up like a prisoner in her own home, and that you Hellborns are trapped down here for all eternity without the ability to see my beautiful creations on Earth."

"You didn't make shit, Adam. You just named everything. And I don't think you were taking it seriously at all." Lucifer and his fellow angels had done a lot of the groundwork for the plants and animals, with guidance of course. But Adam had done fuck-all in the creation department... outside of Cain, Abel, and Seth... but Lucifer wasn't about to give him a win. "Blue footed booby, Tit, nipplewort, corn cockle? And let's not forget the sausage tree and Shagbark. Or the utter mockery that is Stiffcock." Adam snickered.

"Stiffcock."

"You see my point?" He looked at Lysander and Syn who had both become unwitting participants in an argument between two ancient men that had started right before Lucifer's Fall from grace.

"Actually," Adam stopped his immature giggling long enough to try and counter Lucifer's point. "Those are modern translations to the original names I chose. Don't let this asshole fool you, I spoke an entirely different language back then and had no knowledge of the colloquial slang of the future. I'm amazing, yes, but not psychic. Language evolves, and the fact that some of my wonderful names became hilarious is more the fault of modern humans than me. And don't get me started on scientists. Those fuckers need to get laid. I mean, phallus impudicus? Colon asperatum? Clitoria ternatae? They were so desperate to find the clitoris they had to put it in the wild where it could be accidentally stumbled upon."

"Adam!" Lucifer put his hand to his face, his cheeks flushed with gold. "Do not bring that kinda shit up in front of Syn! She's too young!" He was almost impressed Adam knew so much about scientific nomenclature as well as linguistic evolution. However, when it was dealing with the vulgar, maybe he shouldn't be shocked. Adam looked over at Syn, still sitting on her muffin and shrugged.

"Don't repeat anything I have said, Syn."

"Many of the words you used are necessary for day-to-day communication. Such as: those, need, and I."

"Then suffer." Adam grinned toothily. Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"Just don't repeat any of the bad words. And also, ignore Adam because he is dumb as shit."

"Yes master!"

"Don't ignore me Syn, I'm delightful."

"Apologies, Adam, but commands are commands."

"Syn! How could you!" Adam didn't sound all that distraught, more amused. But he must have known he was fighting a losing battle. Syn adored Lucifer. And why wouldn't she? He was the single greatest, most amazing being in Heaven or Hell. Also, Syn hadn't really met a whole lot of people.

"Get fucked." Lucifer finished his bagel with a smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face. "Thank you for the food, Lysander. It was an unexpected delight. I appreciate that some of my staff can be respectful."

"I, honestly, didn't know if I would even see you today. But I got something just in case. Cause after Adam's arrival, you kinda started interacting with us more. It's the most I have talked to you in... pretty much since I was hired. Now that I think about it." Lysander finished his own food. "You're kind of a cool guy."

"He's really not." Adam butted in. "He took you to a theme park. So of course he seems fun. It's hard to be un-fun at a theme park. Even a pathetic moron like Lose-cifer looks like the fucking life of the party when he's surrounded by bright lights, rides, games, and food. He can't suck the fun out of everything. He has some limitations." Lucifer could have argued, but it wasn't worth the effort when it came to Adam. You couldn't win a fight against unintelligent life.

"I'm actually great fun. I'm also just a busy guy. But my bagel was delicious- in spite of Adam's best efforts."

"Haha hey fuck you." Adam glared at him.

"Damn, I knew I shoulda gone with my original idea. I just thought since Adam knew you a lot longer that he might have a better suggestion." Lysander shot Adam a look and to Lucifer's surprise Adam looked briefly... flustered? Maybe he was just caught off guard by having Lysander call him out. That could be it. Though, as far as 'trying to fuck over Lucifer' went, a sweet plain bagel wasn't the worst that Adam could have done.

"Yeah well," Adam shrugged, "get wrecked."

"Out of curiosity, what was the original pick?" Lucifer had to admit, he was curious. Adam's reaction caught his attention.

"It doesn't fucking matter, does it? He listened to me." Adam laid out over the chair, legs over one arm, back over the other. He was dropping his little round, fried potatoes into his mouth.

"I'm curious." Lucifer gave a shrug.

"Don't you have some important moping to be doing?" Adam gave Lucifer an annoyed look.

"It is called: self-care."

"Syn gets it." Lucifer gave Adam a smirk. "So, Lysander, humor me. What was it?"

"Don't tell him, Lysander. Mansion staff solidarity." Adam turned his gaze to Lysander in an instant.

"Dude, he's my boss. Your boss too. Staff solidarity has its limits." Lysander was cleaning up the few crumbs he had dropped. Funny how security was doing more cleaning than Lucifer's maid. (Clearly last night had been some sort of fluke). "It was the sausage supreme." Lucifer immediately looked over at Adam and the black and gold eye refused to look back at him.

"Yes, well..." Lucifer cleared his throat. "What you got was preferred. Sausage first thing in the morning is a bit too savory for my palate." In all reality: Lucifer was a vegetarian, as were most angels. He could eat meat. But despite his best efforts, he always had a strong aversion to the taste and texture. But this was knowledge only shared with his family. Not that Lucifer was ashamed, but he despised having his personal tastes broadcast to Hell. The fact that Adam had even remembered was a fucking shock, nevertheless, kept his tastes to himself and offer a better suggestion.

"Fucking told you." Adam was staring at the almost empty packet of potatoes at this point, Lucifer could barely hear him grumbling.

"That was oddly nice of you Adam, thank you." Lucifer was genuinely thrown off.

"I'm kinda shocked too. I figured he was just bullshitting me since he threw up after he said it and I thought that might be the world's worst nervous tick. But damn if he wasn't persistent." Lysander finished tidying up after himself.

"I tried to fuck with you, and it failed." Adam still wouldn't make eye contact.

"Wait... you threw up?" Lucifer had seen the large spot on the floor this morning. "You said you threw up twice... When was the second time?"

"Don't remember." Adam shoved the rest of the food in his mouth.

"Come on, this is important." Lucifer was getting a little annoyed with Adam's attitude. Not that Adam didn't always have an attitude, but this was starting to actively inhibit Lucifer's investigation. And it wasn't just Adam's stupid ass at risk. Technically he was putting all of Hell in danger by keeping Adam alive. (Though depending on how deep that Corruption ran, not even an angelic weapon could kill him.) "You know that. You need to tell me shit because if you don't, who knows what could happen? You might go feral and attack Cain again." He knew Cain was Adam's weak point, it was a low blow, but cooperation was nonnegotiable at this point. Adam threw the bag onto the ground and slowly got to his feet. He finally looked up; his face was contorted with rage the likes of which Lucifer had not seen in his eyes outside of the battlefield.

"Don't you EVER talk about my son! EVER! You're the WHOLE FUCKING REASON he's down here! YOU brought that shit into the world. Not me!"

"Me!?" Where was this coming from? Lucifer wasn't about to take Adam's shit in his own god damn house. "Oh ho ho, I don't fucking think so." Lucifer straightened his stance. "I didn't put that boulder in Cain's hand, I didn't drag him out to that pasture, Adam. Cain made a choice. That's the ONLY thing I did. I gave humans the ability to choose and your son chose to damn himself! That had nothing to do with me!" He had even had this conversation with Cain before, long ago when he had first arrived.

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" Adam had gone from zero to a hundred so fast Lucifer's head was still spinning. "And I'm STUCK here because of YOU! I can't go HOME! I ALREADY couldn't talk to Eve and now Abel!? Seth!? I can't even say goodbye! And then I FINALLY see Cain again only to find out YOU turned him against me."

"I didn't turn Cain against you!" Lucifer was so mad he laughed. "You did that all by yourself, fucker!"

"I LOVED my son! Even after what he did, I was still his FATHER!"

"You literally came down once a year with an army to slaughter everyone he knows." Lucifer lowered his voice, narrowing his eyes. Adam's eyes looked wild. He was still talking and not growling, but the Devil still needed to be on his guard. "You don't see how that might upset your son?"

"Everything I did was to SAVE him." There was a strange vigor in Adam's words. "I had no choice! HE WAS GOING TO BE SAFE! You are the WHOLE REASON this even had to happen!"

"What I did was for humankind to have a choice."

"You fucked my wife so humans could have a choice?"

"Oooooookay," Lysander was suddenly between the two of them. Lucifer didn't realize how close together they had gotten, every exchange accompanied by a small step forward as the Devil tried to square up against the First Man. "Why don't we all just calm down for a second? I think everyone's just a bit shaken up after all of yesterday's adrenaline. But you're starting to scare Syn." He gestured to Syn who was hiding behind her muffin.

"I do not like yelling."

"Fuck this." For a moment, Adam seemed as if he might push the issue. Lucifer was ready to pounce the moment he made a move toward Lysander- no way he was letting the son of some important dignitary become Corrupted on his watch. But Adam simply turned and stormed off, up the stairs and back toward his room. Fine. He could pout if he wanted. Lucifer's day would have been infinitely better without Adam to insult him and bring him down.

"Sorry about that." Lucifer took a deep breath, calming himself. Adam really went off the handle. And in front of his staff too. Syn definitely didn't appreciate all the loud, sudden noises. (She did live in Hell, eventually she would have to be accustomed to chaos- perhaps Lucifer had sheltered her too much. It was complicated with Syn; she was a faceless machine- and at times he remembered that. However, there were other times, like this very moment, when Syn was hiding behind a muffin, that Lucifer became reminded of Charlie as a child. She never did like when he and Lillith would argue- the rare times they did so in front of her. So perhaps that was why Lucifer instantly relaxed, the moment that Adam's door to his room slammed shut.) "You doing okay, Syn?"

"The maid was very angry at you Master."

"Indeed, he's not a very good maid, is he?" Lucifer couldn't exactly fire Adam, given the situation, but he could still critique. He was in his own, unique, Hell wherein he had to put up with Adam and his awful personality or risk his Kingdom being devoured by another...

Ugh.

He did not want to think about that this early in the morning.

"But he was nice to me this morning. He asked me if I wanted anything when Lysander was ordering."

"I think he was being sarcastic, Syn." Poor thing, Lucifer really needed to teach her how to read people's intentions or Hell was going to swindle her out of everything she owned. Which was mostly crayons. How the Hell was the Metatron so put together? Lucifer's attempt to copy her seemed far more... childlike than he intended.

"I mean, it's been hard to tell with Adam, I won't lie." Lysander had his arms crossed, he was looking up the stairs after Adam, his ears were tilted back, his tail swished. "His sarcastic voice and his real voice all kinda sound the same to me. Maybe he was just fucking with us."

"And then he threw up."

"Yeah. That is like the weirdest thing. I guess that food yesterday didn't agree with him at all. I didn't even know popcorn could fuck you up like that. How the fuck is he gonna eat actual food? That breakfast I got him might have torn him a new asshole." Lysander glanced back at Syn. "Maybe that's why he was so grumpy."

"Because the food made him sick?"

"Huh." Was all Lucifer could say. He looked up the stairs again. Adam had really bolted. Was the food actually making him sick...? No... that stain this morning... the vomiting last night... it was very clearly that black, viscous sludge. Lucifer remembered the way it had stained his own coat and glove, how it was more akin to burning than to just a stain. Maybe Adam was just so forgone that he was already hollowed out- a shell of his former self- an abomination walking around in Adam's skin until eventually the fleshy exterior broke down to reveal what Adam had become.

"Master? Are you alright?"

"You have been kinda just spacing out, boss-dude." Lysander and Syn were both staring at him. Perhaps Lucifer had let his mind get away from him for a moment.

"Oh, yes. I am fine. Just thinking." He laughed, proving that he was unfazed by Adam's little tantrum. (He just HAD to have brought Lillith up. That was Lucifer's trigger as much as Cain was to Adam.) "You both said Adam threw up twice this morning?"

"Affirmative. He did not clean it very well either. I am beginning to doubt his maid qualifications."

"Not sure how hard he tried," Lysander shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, he started with the first one then it happened again and he just kinda gave up. Don't blame him. I was like that after my last frat party before graduation. I puked right on the stage. Got a standing ovation. It was fucking hell on my hangover, but I like to think I left a legend." Hellborns had their own schooling, but it was still a bit odd for Lucifer to think of a graduation of any kind in Hell that wouldn't result in the school being burned to the ground.

"What a lovely story, Lysander, so glad I could hear it." Lucifer was still deep in thought. "Can you both walk me through exactly what happened this morning?" Were Lysander and Syn the most reliable sources? It was hard to tell. Syn did record everything... at least everything Lucifer said. It was hard to tell if she would think of recording Adam. And Lysander was a fine security intern... maybe he had observation skills that surpassed Lucifer's expectations. Though Lucifer had watched Lysander fall off the balcony while trying to catch a potato chip in his mouth, so maybe Lucifer was having too much faith in them.

"Let's see... I woke up, went on my phone for a while. I got this really fucking funny meme from my cousin-"

"I should have been more specific." Lucifer cut Lysander off before he had to listen to any more of his mundane start to the day. "Stuff that relates to Adam." Lysander was quiet for a split second. He raised an eyebrow at Lucifer, giving him an unreadable expression.

"Yeah okay, um," Lysander looked up at the ceiling, trying to recall how things had started. "So, I woke up early and I was gonna go work out, but then I was like... super fucking hungry. Probably from everything we did yesterday." Lucifer's face fell, he was still getting completely useless details. Maybe he should just have asked Syn. (Though it was good that his security was making an attempt to stay in shape. Lucifer didn't really have a place for fitness in his mansion, maybe he should invest in one for Lysander at some point. Lucifer didn't really need to use it since he was magic, Syn was just a machine, and he didn't want to risk Quackers taking up fitness and becoming too powerful- but maybe he could empty out one of the unused rooms at some point.)

"Yes, and?" Lucifer was still waiting for anything that had to do with Adam.

"I went to see if Adam was up, I heard him kinda... I dunno, shouting? It was only when I got close to the door. I think he like, tripped over one of the ducks or something. So, I knocked to make sure he didn't die, and he opened the door and was all like: 'Yo hey Lysander, what up?' and then I was like: 'Adam! Sup? I'm like super fucking hungry'." Awesome, Lucifer was getting an entire play by play with the most unconvincing dialog he had ever heard. "So, like, I went to let Syn out of the room because I could hear her tapping."

"This is where I come in."

"Uh huh." Lucifer nodded his head. Perfect. Syn was starting to look like the more reliable narrator. Plus, it was a bit difficult to understand everything between Lysander's slang and his accent.

"So yeah, then Syn came out, and she was all: 'Hey guys, what's up?' And then I was like: 'Syn! Hey! I am actually starving. I think I am gonna order some brekkie!' You know cause the kitchen is completely and utterly inaccessible." Lysander looked at Lucifer who nodded.

"Right. Quackers. Continue." It would be a cold day in Hell before Lucifer believed that Syn had used the phrase: what's up, but at least Lysander was getting to some kind of relevant point.

"So, I was like: 'Adam, you hungry, mate?' And then he was all: 'Yeah I could eat.' So, I get out my phone to order some food and I show Adam the menu, he picks his thing, and then I realize: 'I should get something for the boss cause he took us to that theme park yesterday. I bet he would like this sausage supreme!' And Adam is all: 'I am gonna be passive aggressive about having a nice time because admitting joy is a sign of weakness, but also you should get him that plain bagel with honey cause he'll like that more.' And of course, at this point I'm kinda like... eh because Adam hasn't really shown much of your best interests since he got here, boss-man."

Lucifer had to snort at Lysander's description. "Fair point."

"So, of course I don't really trust him but he's like: 'I've known the boss-man forever, so I know what food he likes.' And I mean, he had a point."

Lucifer highly doubted that Adam had ever referred to him as Boss-Man, but that was neither here nor there.

"They tried to ask me, but I do not know what food you like to eat because you do not eat consistently."

"I don't have to." Lucifer shrugged. He was an angel, Fallen or not he didn't have the same biology as the others in Hell. "Syn, why don't you take it from here?" Lucifer expected a recording.

"Hurray! Yes! I was watching them debate about food. And Lysander did not trust Adam's opinion: 'Adam, I do not trust your opinion. I believe that your dislike of the Master would make you pick something he would quite dislike! Syn, what do you think?' of course, I was just excited to be included."

Awesome. Syn was just doing what Lysander did and was just paraphrasing the whole fucking conversation. Amazing.

"I responded: 'I do not see Master eat very often and he has logged no personal favorites into my database in regard to food. But the Master does enjoy wine when he partakes in the process known as Self-Care. ' The maid replied: 'That is quite all right. Believing my analysis is not required. Please continue as you were. Though I am insisting that The Master would very much appreciate my choice over yours.' However, we were all intrigued by his suggestion. Lysander gave him a thorough interrogation! 'Are you certain of this?' To which Just Adam gave a nod and said: 'He will prefer the plain bagel.' While suspicious, Lysander addressed Adam The Maid with a simple: `Affirmative. We will honor your suggestion.' And then Adam Just Adam suffered from emesis all over the floor as soon as Lysander finished speaking."

Well, it had taken two years off of Lucifer's life span, but they had finally reached the first incident with the vomiting. "Then what happened?"

"The maid began to swear about the recent cleanliness of the floor and Lysander ordered the bagel for you. Then Lysander addressed all of us: 'Is that everything desired or required from our wonderful staff?' To which the response from our maid was simply: 'You did not ask Syn what she wanted. And she is such a hard worker and a very good voice of her Master who did such a good job at the theme park yesterday.' Which was very nice of him to notice."

"Right." Lucifer knew for a fact Adam didn't say any of those nice things about Syn. Lysander's amused expression was evidence enough, but working compliments to herself into her own retelling was actually something Lucifer would do. He had to respect the hustle.

"Lysander did astutely point out: 'Syn does not eat' to which the counter argument was: 'Affirmative fellow member of the mansion staff, however she is still intelligent and may wish to be included in our activities even if she is a being of technological origin and therefore cannot ingest or digest sustenance.' And then he proceeded to suffer from another brief episode of emesis on our floor."

And there was time number two. "Thank you both for those... truly riveting retellings." Lucifer needed to install cameras or something- though too much technology left him open to Vox. "But a recording would have sufficed, Syn."

"I do not record when you are not talking as that information is not important."

"Flattering, but you should record if it's about me too."

"Affirmative Master! I will do so in future interactions!"

"Right, well, you both have work to do, I assume." He had no idea. "So, you best do that, I need to do some research."

"My job is to follow you!"

"Not this time Syn, I need quiet." Lucifer would need to return to those scrolls, as much as he hated the idea of seeing that fucking name again. He could hide that list- it wasn't relevant to the material. And he wasn't about to let that asshole up in Heaven get to him. "You are both dismissed." He walked past them toward the stairs. He swore he heard Lysander mutter something to Syn that sounded weirdly like: wanna go bowling? but since he knew neither of them left the house, he could only assume he had misheard.

Lucifer walked back up to his office, seeing the scrolls still tossed aside where he had left them. He shoved the offending paper aside and went back to the scrolls. This was mostly from Raphael and Uriel, careful and thorough notes from the last time the angels had faced off with those that lie Dead and Dreaming. The Corruption Adam was experiencing was milder than cases Lucifer had seen before, at least... if not mild it was slower moving. Lucifer had to assume he didn't touch any of those Old Ones directly- if he had then Adam wouldn't be able to form coherent sentences. The First Man was still just a man deep down. (And also, there was no way in Heaven or Hell Adam would have had the opportunity to have contact with one of them directly.

No. More likely than not, whatever Corrupted Adam was an object or some low-ranking monster. Something he must have come across in Purgatory. It was unsurprising that Adam would go off the beaten path and get himself fucked over by something he didn't understand.

There were lots of notes about how the Corruption presented, but not in humans... not after prolonged, untreated exposure.

Damn it.

There were probably more scrolls, more recent ones, up in Heaven. There was no way he would be granted access to that shit. Not without an Archangel's permission. And Lucifer wasn't at the point where he would throw himself under their judgmental, mocking gazes and beg for help.

He sighed; this was really getting him nowhere. The scrolls had been a nice refresher for what to expect, but there wasn't anything new. For most of them, he had actually still been up in Heaven when they were written.

He got up, walking back out of his study. He had a theory but there still wasn't enough evidence to prove that he was correct. Adam's outburst, if anything, seemed to be proof to the contrary. Adam was getting worse.

"Hey Cain... it's dad again."

Lucifer stopped walking. He could hear Adam's voice from inside the room he had picked. The door had actually been broken- must have happened when Adam slammed it shut. The locking mechanism was completely askew, and Lucifer could see the door was cracked open.

Hesitantly, Lucifer nudged it a little more with his hand. He could see Adam sitting on the bed, phone against his ear. (How in the fresh Hell had Adam found Cain's phone number? His personal phone was unlisted because it was something Lucifer had made for him since Cain didn't trust Vox- and with good reason. For all his bullshit, Cain was sly. He played dumb to his competitors so they wouldn't work hard to hide their hands. He was a remarkably savvy Sinner when push came to shove.)

"I know things are kind of strained right now, and I get that. But you have to understand- what I did, I did to protect you. You and your brothers... you're my Eden." Adam stood and Lucifer ducked further behind the door. "I know what happened between you and Abel was horrible... but I never stopped loving you..." he could see Adam pacing the room, phone still in his hand.

Lucifer bit his lower lip, his heart sank.

"Please... talk to me..." Adam sounded so uncharacteristically desperate. "I love you, call me back."

Lucifer heard the click of the phone hanging back up on the receiver. Landlines were a little outdated, sure, but Lucifer and some of the other Overlords could be old fashioned. (Plus, with everything with Lillith, Lucifer hadn't had a huge opportunity to do a lot of mansion upgrades.) He took a deep breath, balling his hand into a fist and rapping softly on the door.

"Adam?" He pushed the door gently open the rest of the way.

"What?" The reply was harsh, bitter. Adam flopped back into a sitting position on the bed.

"Hey... um... you talked to Cain?"

"Just his voicemail."

"Right..." Lucifer frowned. His eyes traveled along the phone that was sitting on the bed beside Adam, to the frayed cord that had been pulled out of the wall. There was no way the phone was working in that condition. He looked back at Adam who was staring at the phone as well. Lucifer could see the glaze over his white eye, that almost otherworldly sheen. The golden glowing orb that made up the pupil of Adam's black eye had become dull. Lucifer's hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He had seen this before, and it usually acted as a warning sign for Adam to become feral. Lucifer really didn't want to get bitten. (Even if he was probably immune, there was no reason to test the theory). "I am sure he's just busy. He'll call you later. He works a lot." Lucifer wanted to do his best to keep Adam relaxed. There was no telling how much magic it would take to pull Adam back out of that Corrupted state again.

"You don't have to fucking lie to me. I know he's pissed."

"He's just moody. He'll calm down on his own time." Again, Lucifer's eyes looked at the frayed wires coming out of his wall.

"Why the fuck are you here?" The fact that Adam was talking was a good thing. It meant he was still Adam. (And while Adam could be intolerable- the monster that the Corruption brought forth was far worse.)

"I... um..." Lucifer sighed. He had pushed Adam too far earlier. "I'm sorry about this morning." Lucifer had seen Corruption eat away at other angels. It was like a force that fed on every single negative thought you had, that rewarded giving in to your worst vices. Adam's overreaction was probably less a reflection of his innate hatred of Lucifer, and more the result of all those dark, toxic emotions boiling up inside him. Adam simply broke under the internal pressure. It wasn't surprising, he was only human, after all. (Though depending on how long this Corruption had been eating away at him... it was a wonder Adam had any humanity left at all.)

"Huh?" Adam still looked and sounded unfocused.

"I'm..." Damn it. Lucifer was really going to have to say it again? It sucked doing it the one time. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry...?" Adam finally turned his head to look at Lucifer.

"Yeah, I mean, I never should have brought up Cain. I know things are kinda tense with you two right now and I shoulda just kept my mouth shut. I'm sorry."

"..." Adam blinked at him. Lucifer could see the fog clearing, the orb-like pupil brightened as Adam seemed to become more aware of his surroundings. "Yeah, well you should be fucking sorry."

"You're right. I should be, and I am." Lucifer's acceptance seemed to throw Adam off. He saw him visibly falter.

"Y... yeah. Well... good. Be fucking sorry, cause you're a sorry piece of shit. And you're... short too."

"Oh come on, I'm apologizing." Lucifer's eyes narrowed for a moment before he caught himself. No. He couldn't let his emotions get the better of him. He was the Devil God damn it and no Corruption was going to get the better of Hell's King. "I'm sorry about what I said to you." He watched Adam's expression rather intently.

"Y... you..." Adam seemed to be struggling. It was unusual, the way his face contorted almost looked more akin to pain than simple irritation. "You fuck...ing..." Adam's breathing picked up; Lucifer watched that shine start to creep over his blind eye once again.

"I'm sorry for what I said." Lucifer's claws bit into the comforter on Adam's bed, his whole body tensed in preparation for Adam to attack again.

"Fuck it." Adam's body finally relaxed. "It's fine. Whatever. Let's just forget it happened." He waved Lucifer away. The shine vanished from his eye, but the pained expression didn't seem to go away.

Lucifer was... shocked. He had expected Adam to lord this sort of apology over his head. It seemed like the kind of thing he could exploit to earn favors from Lucifer. Maybe Adam just wasn't accustomed to the way things worked in Hell but... "Did you just accept my apology?"

"Look I just want to forget this whole thing." That wasn't exactly a yes but it was far from a no. "I'm already in Hell, and I guess I just kinda got fed up with how fucking terrible everything is here- especially you." Now that sounded more like the modern-day Adam. "And I guess maybe I said some shit too that wasn't like... relevant to the argument or whatever."

"Wait..." Lucifer blinked.

"Don't get me wrong, you need to fucking apologize for a lot more than just being a bitch at breakfast. But like, you're the Devil. Maybe I shouldn't have let you get under my skin so easily with your weaselly little voice and incredibly punchable face. I mean, I am a divine man, after all. I should have turned the other cheek. Your cheek. With my hand. When I slapped it. But like, I should have expected you to be the fucking worst and so the fact that I shouted all those very true things in front of your staff who seem to all be brainwashed, was probably not the time or place for such an argument."

"..." Lucifer was taken aback, watching as Adam looked rather conflicted. There was more going on inside of him that Lucifer couldn't really see, but his face was a mix of smug and queasy. Wordlessly, Lucifer materialized a small trash bag and handed it to Adam. If he was going to test his theory, this would be a good time.

"I don't want your shitty fucking trash-" Adam didn't get a chance to finish as he held the bag to his mouth and black sludge fell from his lips. "Are you fucking kidding me!? I NEVER puke up a steak sandwich! Fucking breakfast of champions! Mandatory on Extermination Day!"

"You didn't." Lucifer's eyes widened.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Adam still had a bit of the black sludge dripping from his lip. "Stop."

"You apologized."

"Oh no the fuck I didn't."

"You did. You apologized. You remembered I was a vegetarian and corrected Lysander. You thought about Syn's feelings. You cleaned the hall- it's acts of kindness. That's what makes you throw up."

"Well then I should be throwing up all the time because I'm a fucking Saint."

"You were never canonized."

"But I should have been."

"Adam." Lucifer plucked the bag out of his hands, burning it. "You are fighting the Corruption by being a good man. Which I know is a struggle for you, but I also know you gotta be capable of at least a little fucking decency because your ass somehow got into Heaven despite... everything." The old Adam, the one Lucifer had known in Eden was a far cry from the pathetic being before him now. Though Lucifer did know stories from Lillith that did not paint the man favorably, even then.

"Wow. Fuck off." Adam glared at him.

"No, you're missing the point, asshole." Lucifer took a handkerchief out of his pocket and offered it to Adam. "You still have Corruption on you. But Adam, you're getting better. I was right last night when I suspected as much. But you can't just prove a theory on one isolated instance. But this is multiple incidents."

"So... I'm not gonna die?" Adam wiped his mouth with the handkerchief and threw it back to Lucifer who burned it.

"Again, dying is the least of your problems when you discuss Corruption. But you are fighting it."

"So, I'll get better, and Sera will let me into Heaven?"

"There's always a chance." There was not a snowball's chance in Hell. (And Lucifer was well aware of the chances a snowball had in his domain.)

"Well fuck yeah! Let's do this shit! I can be nice. I'm nice as fuck! Nice looking, nicely built, with a nice ass-"

"Personality, Adam. You need to do nice things."

"So, I need to fuck more nice people?"

"Do you listen when I talk? Or do you just start watching a movie in your head?"

"Movie."

"I fucking knew it." Lucifer let out a sigh. He wanted to fully blame Adam, but he couldn't. The fact of the matter was, that nice deeds purged the Corruption- but they left Adam feeling terrible. Every cell in his body was fighting for him to pick all the worst options. The nausea, the vomiting, that was just the beginning. Statistically speaking, the more they succeeded, the worse it would get for Adam. (No wonder he had snapped at breakfast. Three nice deeds? He was probably feeling like utter shit- and behaving like an absolute monster was the only way to alleviate those symptoms. Lucifer had joked about it yesterday, but as it turns out, it might actually kill Adam to pay Lucifer a compliment. Funny how that worked). "Adam, you need to work on being a decent human being, which I know will be very difficult for you."

"What would you know about being decent? Or about being a human, now that I think about it."

"Nothing." Lucifer smiled. Adam was trying to get under his skin, and he knew it. The only thing he didn't know was how much of that push was really coming from Adam, and how much was from that Corruption inside him. "You've got me there."

"I'll be honest, I expected more of a comeback on that one."

"Look, Adam, I don't like you. You don't like me. We have that in common. And also, I'm literally the Devil. So, if I want you to do acts of kindness, it kinda goes against my whole schtick." He smirked. "Luckily for you, I do know an expert in the field and she just happens to be someone I trust completely."

"You don't mean-"

"Shh." Lucifer held a gloved finger to Adam's lips as he pulled out his cellphone using the speed dial. "Char Char! Hey bitch! It's dad! Are you busy right now because I would love to ask a favor."

A/N: I have a special treat! I made a quick doodle of the palace staff! Syn's lights actually can change color. Also Quackers in currently un-transformed. Ughhhh I have so much more art I want to share but it's currently full of spoilers T_T. 

Chapter Text

"Here we are!" Lucifer made a dramatic gesture as they walked toward the Hotel in question.  Fireworks materialized out of nothing, bursting behind him to add another layer of dazzle to the already impressive building. He walked past the chocolate fountain and water fountain that sat on either side of the entrance. (He had forgotten to take those away after the party. Oops. Can’t imagine the chocolate was very good at this point in time.)  

"Oh shit! Chocolate!" Adam got excited, walking towards the cascading waterfalls of milky brown.   

"That's been outside for a while, Adam. I don't think that's sanitary, and you've been puking enough as it is." Lucifer grabbed him by the back of his robes and Adam was stopped before he could reach his chocolaty destination. Adam’s wings popped out as he seemed surprised by the sudden grip.   

"Then why have it?"   

"It was for a party. I just kinda forgot." Lucifer snapped and the chocolate fountain turned into regular water to match the one on the other side. There, two ornate fountains. They really elevated the desire of the hotel and were not something that stupid asshole with the smile would have thought up for himself. (He did feel a bit bad about having forgotten about taking the fountain down when he left- but in his defense, the last few days had been more than a bit chaotic.) "Plus, you're not here to dick around, you're here to learn."   

"Seriously? Do I * have * to do this?" Adam looked up at the Hotel in question, his wings drooping behind him as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Lucifer swatted at the wings with his cane.   

"Put those back." It wasn't like Sinners wouldn't occasionally have wings, but that, combined with the broken pieces of the halo floating over Adam’s head, made him an obvious target. Eventually the halo would gradually turn into something different, but Adam was so newly Fallen he still looked predominantly angelic.   

"No. It's uncomfortable to keep them folded up for too long." Adam crossed his arms looking indignant.   

"It's * Hell * things are gonna be uncomfortable. You might as well get used to it now."   

"I don't understand why I can't just keep them out. * You * have wings."   

"Yes, but I'm special. Those wings and that fucking thing over your head make you a massive goddamn target." Lucifer put his hands on the wings in another attempt to force them back into Adam. The white wing resisted, the left... Lucifer's hand pretty much went right through it. That was weird. Lucifer stopped pushing for a moment and just started moving his hand in and out of Adam’s wing. When he stuck his hand in the black feathers, it felt a bit colder, but he couldn't feel any texture, though his hand looked as if it were buried. The feathers even moved and reacted as if he were touching them, but Lucifer could feel nothing but air.  The fuck was going on with that wing? No wonder Adam couldn't fly.   

"What the fuck are you doing?" Adam was turning his head to look at Lucifer who was still playing around with how the wing worked. "Stop."   

"Can you feel that?" Lucifer moved his hand around more. Adam tried to pull away.  

"Kinda? It feels fucking * crazy . Like a weird ass chill. So, stop it before I punch you in your ugly face."   

"Hmm you are moody." It wasn't entirely Adam’s fault, but it still didn't excuse him. Lucifer was taking time out of his incredibly busy schedule to help. He was going to only have three hours of wallowing tonight because of these shenanigans.  (He barely had any moping when they went to Lu Lu World, either. Adam was really cutting into his time.)  

"Yeah, because you keep fucking with my wing!"   

"If you tucked it in, I wouldn't be able to do this." Lucifer ran his hand all the way through. Adam made a face of displeasure and shivered so hard his wings both fluffed up. Lucifer stifled a laugh, unsuccessfully, as he gave an unintentional little snort. Adam glared at him, wings instantly folding back into his back, vanishing from view. "You know, you're lucky you kept your holy robes. Most of the time you would rip through fabric with your wings going in and out like that."   

"What, don't Sinners have wings?"   

"Some do, it's just rare. And they aren't really for flying, most of the time."   

"Sounds fucking stupid. So what, my wings are just aesthetic?"   

"Basically." Lucifer laughed to himself; this wing-thing was making Adam unreasonably angry. "It's not much of a punishment if we still let you flutter around. Also, you might escape, since you know where the exit is." He was also one of the few capable of navigating the realm between. Adam was a legitimate flight risk. (No pun intended.) "Never seen the whole: shadow-wing thing before, though. So, I will give you some credit."   

"Are you done obsessing over my wings? It's fucking creepy."  

"It's not creepy." Lucifer leaned forward to knock on the hotel door. They had sort of just been standing in Charlie's walkway arguing. It probably wasn't the best look for a place that advertised seeking redemption.  As he leaned around Adam, he got a face full of feathers from the white wing.   

"Oops." Adam's wings had sprung back out.  

"You did that on purpose." Lucifer pushed on the base of the white wing, and they contracted back again. The devil let out a sneeze, feathers flying out of his mouth. This was going * swimmingly . They hadn't even made it * inside * and Adam was already being a piece of shit. Maybe he shouldn't have put Charlie in this situation.  He did truly love his daughter, and as much as he wanted to spend more time with her, exposing her to Adam was probably going too far.   

Charlie didn't deserve this punishment.  

The door swung open.  

Too late.  

"Dad! Hey!" Charlie did look genuinely happy to see him, which always came as a bit of a shock to Lucifer. She looked beside him, eyes falling on the black and white menace that had cursed Lucifer over the last few days. "Adam."   

"Sup, fucker?" Adam gave Charlie a nod. Lucifer instantly put his face in his hands. They still hadn't made it across the threshold, and he was already contemplating murder.  (But if he did kill Adam it would have to be outside of the hotel. Charlie had worked so hard on her business and splattering it with infected blood wasn't going to help anyone.  Also, he would lose any leads he might get out of Adam if he murdered him. Sure, he would come back, but he would be incredibly unlikely to cooperate. He was barely cooperative now and Lucifer had been nothing but nice to him.)   

"Adam. That is my * daughter *. You may call her Charlie Princess of Hell, Princess Charlie, or your majesty.  Not: * fucker . Fucker is nowhere on that list."   

"Just Charlie is fine." Charlie gave them a sweet smile, but Lucifer could tell it was strained. Logic dictated that she was stressed about Adam, but the devil couldn't help but worry that he had already done something to upset her.   

"Good to see you, Charlie!" He pushed Adam to the side and wrapped his daughter into a hug. Much to his relief, she hugged him back. "Thank you for agreeing to help on such short notice!"   

"I am a bit surprised by the request, I'll be honest." Charlie stepped aside and Lucifer half-led, half-pushed Adam past Charlie and into the foyer.   

"Yes, well, it's a funny situation." Lucifer gave a small sigh. "Can I talk to you? One-on-one?" His eyes glanced behind Charlie, unsurprisingly, he saw Vaggie not too far off. He didn't blame the Fallen angel for lingering. He didn't trust Adam * either . (And Vaggie didn't even know the true nature of the stakes.)  

"What? You can't leave me alone in here." Adam suddenly dug his heels down, and Lucifer nearly walked into him. "These guys fucking hate me!"   

"Everyone fucking hates you Adam, this place isn't that special, at least not in that regard. It's incredibly special in other ways." Lucifer gestured at the interior.  "Like everything my daughter has contributed. You should really be impressed."   

"Why though?" Adam looked him dead in the eyes, face completely stoic. Lucifer's own expression fell, his eyes narrowed.    

"Just fucking sit and don't touch anything."   

"But I don't want to be left alone. Not with her." He pointed at Vaggie. Lucifer's concern rose as he saw Vaggie had her spear in her hand.   

"How about you put the spear away?"   

"No." Vaggie hadn't taken her eye off of Adam since he had walked in.   

"Vaggie," Charlie put her hands on Vaggie's shoulders, gently lowering the arm with the spear. "It's okay! We aren't going to fight! We're going to help!" Despite her enthusiastic voice, Lucifer could tell Charlie wasn't thrilled with the situation either. (But she had ten times the patience that Lucifer did, especially when it came to Adam, who it felt as if God had created specifically to push Lucifer's buttons.)   

"I don't trust him." Vaggie's response was short and sweet.   

"None of us do," Charlie assured her. "But this hotel is founded on redemption!"   

"Don't trust * me ? I'm not the one who lied to your little girlfriend about where you came from." Adam talked a big game, but Lucifer could see that he was moving so that the Devil stood between Adam and his former Exorcist.   

"Listen here you little bitch-"   

"What you did to Vaggie wasn't very nice Adam. You revealed personal information against her wishes. And while I can't entirely know your motivation, I would assume you did it to cause her pain. So, we could start this whole thing off with an apology! How does that sound?" Charlie was trying to make the best out of the tense situation. Lucifer was so proud of her.  

"Yeah. I am not gonna do that." And just like that, Adam was making an ass out of himself in front of Lucifer’s daughter (and possible future daughter-in-law).   

"That might have been too much to ask." Charlie’s face fell a bit.   

"I wouldn't have accepted your apology anyway; you sack of shit." Vaggie's hand tightened on the spear. "After everything you've done- you're lucky Charlie is giving you any of her fucking time. You * don't * deserve it."   

"Vaggie..." Charlie pulled her closer.  

"It needs to be said, Charlie. This fucking asshole acts like he's so entitled to all of this. But he's not." Vaggie was * livid . Lucifer realized he hadn't quite accounted for Vaggie's reaction when he had made his plan. Of course she wouldn't be okay with Adam being around. He used to be her boss. He had watched from the sidelines as Lute had ripped her wings and halo off. He couldn't blame her for having strong feelings about seeing Adam again.  

"I know, but he needs our help." Charlie did not look as convinced as Lucifer had seen in the past with the other Sinners.    

"Okay, you know what?" It was time to deescalate this before a fight broke out. "You trust Vaggie? I trust Vaggie." Lucifer gestured toward the stairs.  So why don’t we all go somewhere a bit more private so I can describe the situation?"   

"Me too?" Adam perked up.  

"Yes. You too. I don't trust you by yourself." Lucifer knew that if he left Adam to his own devices, the whole hotel might come down on itself in a blaze of unholy fire. It's not that he thought Adam was that strong (Though Corruption could greatly increase one's powers) it was mostly that Lucifer knew that: if Adam put his mind to it, any amount of destruction was possible.    

"We can talk in our room." Charlie led them up the stairs and into one of the many hotel suites.  This one was larger than the others, nicely decorated.  Lucifer could tell Charlie had inherited some of his taste for the finer things in life. Charlie closed the door and took a seat on the bed. Vaggie stood next to her, spear in hand glaring at Adam who was standing slightly behind Lucifer. "So, what's this really about? I doubt Adam just had a sudden change of heart."   

"Bitch, I might have." Adam interrupted before Charlie could even finish getting her words out. "I am an * angel . I love doing good deeds and shit. We get off on that kinda bull."   

"You didn't even do good deeds when you were in * Heaven ."  Vaggie snapped back. "I watched you take Cain Still Loves Me's drink right off her tray and drink it."   

"You are right about one thing. Cain does still love me. But I fail to see how that's relevant to this conversation." Adam gave a small shrug. Lucifer was on edge, watching him. Cain could be a real trigger and they were in an enclosed space.    

"What does Uncle Cain have to do with any of this?" Charlie looked genuinely confused by Vaggie's comment.  

"No, that's one of the Exorcist. Adam got fucking tired of coming up with good names after the first few, so he started naming us whatever was in that empty head of his. That's why we got fucking: Sugar Tits, Cain Still Loves Me, and Pick up the Dry Cleaning."   

"Damn, I did not do that before I got stuck in Hell." Adam crossed his arms looking annoyed. "How long do you think they hold on to shit? You think they'll still have it by the time this whole misunderstanding gets sorted out and I'm back in Heaven?"   

"Not a misunderstanding, you broke a contract and damned yourself, but in my experience, Heaven holds dry cleaning for a while so you should be fine." Lucifer wasn't really trying to assure Adam so much as he was attempting to calm Vaggie. "Though it is a bit weird that you named the Exorcists." That was not something left to humans. Adam was a high-ranking Winner, sure, but that was like... Arch business.   

"It's because I'm so good at naming." Adam gave a little shrug.  

"You are not." Vaggie glowered at him.  

"Heh... * stiffcock ." Adam snickered to himself. Instantly the spear was pointed forward and Vaggie looked ready to attack.  

"The fuck did you just say to me, asshole?"   

"It's a * plant ." Lucifer held his hands up, stepping in front of Adam. Charlie was carefully lowering Vaggie's hands, so the spear was no longer ready to plunge into Adam’s face. "We were talking about it earlier and he's just an immature fucking prick."   

"Right, so why don’t we discuss why you decided to bring Adam here?" Charlie was trying to get them back on topic.   

"So, Adam wants to try redemption!" Lucifer tried his first lie out on Charlie, but his daughter looked thoroughly unconvinced.  Her eyes were narrowed, lips drawn into a thin line.   

"Yeah. No. Really. Why are we doing this?"  

"It's a bit complicated, sweet apple." Lucifer let out a little sigh. "Adam got a just a tiny bit sick. Probably just something he picked up since he's new to Hell and you know there's all kind of shit running rampant down here." Time to try a different set of lies. "Actually, Vaggie, did you ever run into anything weird in Purgatory? Did Adam like to run off and try to dick around off the beaten path?"   

"No." The answer surprised him. Vaggie didn't even have to think about it. "He was really strict about Purgatory.  No stopping, no veering off. If you wandered off, you got left behind."   

"Path?" Charlie looked confused. "You guys don't just take the boats?"   

"Not for the Exterminations. Might freak the souls out if they saw an army of masked angels getting on the boat with them." Vaggie shook her head.  

"But Adam got sick in Hell.... not Purgatory?" Charlie looked back at her dad.  

"More likely than not, yes." No. Actually, it was the other way around, but Lucifer didn't want to go into the nature of the illness with Charlie. Not yet. She was such a good girl with a big heart. Telling her what else was out there and what they could do to her beloved Sinners seemed like a bad idea. He didn't want to stress her out. "Just had to be sure, which is why I asked Vaggie."   

"So, what does any of this have to do with Redemption?" Charlie's expression was hard to read. Lucifer was unsure if she was buying his story or not.   

"Well, that's the fun part!" * Fun * of course meaning that was the part Lucifer had been concocting his explanation for, since he had made the call. "Adam's a Fallen angel, not just a regular Sinner. He is more like me, especially because it like... just happened. So, when he does good deeds, it kind of... invokes his angelic nature and helps cure him!" None of this was true. But damn if it didn't sound plausible to anyone who had no idea how this sort of thing worked. "That being said, if he does throw up-and he will- let me take care of it. You are already going out of your way to do all of this for me, so at least allow me that."   

"His angelic nature... heals him?" Charlie repeated his words back, looking at Adam before looking back at Lucifer.  Finally, she turned to Vaggie. "Does that happen? * Can * that happen?" Vaggie gave a small shrug.   

"I can't say for sure. I mean, it sure as hell didn't feel like it happened to * me * when Lute stabbed my fucking eye out."   

"Oh, by the way, if it makes you feel better: Adam’s blind in that right eye." Lucifer gestured to Adam still standing behind him. "Probably because of his complacency in what happened to you."  

"Ha!" Vaggie let out a laugh. "Actually, it does, thank you."  

"It's not fucking funny." Adam's default smirk fell into an annoyed expression.  "My depth perception got royally screwed up by that. It's a goddamn nightmare."   

"Really. Is it? I wouldn't know. That sounds really terrible, Adam." Vaggie's complete monotone seemed to be lost on Adam.  

"How do people even see like this!? Syn keeps sneaking up on me!" Adam threw his hands up in exasperation.   

"Usually, we turn our heads." Vaggie's expression hadn't changed.    

"Sin?" Charlie looked a little confused. "Like... Sin is sneaking up on you? Is that some kind of... metaphor for Falling?" Lucifer's eyes widened for a moment.  Fuck. He was not ready to explain Syn to Charlie.  With his luck his daughter would want to meet his make-shift assistant, and Syn would start helpfully spewing information about Lucifer's depression to the entire Hotel.  

"Metaphor. Yep. Adam’s gotten real poetic since he arrived- but anyway this is the situation, Charlie. Do you think you can help?"   

"I can * try ." Charlie looked Adam up and down and Lucifer followed her gaze. The First Man was cleaning his ear with his pinky finger. "But Adam has to *want* redemption as well. I can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped."   

"Redemption is kind of a shitty word for it, babe." Adam yawned, not covering his mouth so Lucifer and everyone else in the room could see that his tongue was black in the half of his mouth that wasn't just a glowing void. "It implies that I did something * wrong . I'm only here because of a paperwork snafu or something. I dunno, Lose-cifer knows the story." He tilted his head in Lucifer's direction.   

"Okay." Charlie took a deep breath instinctively reaching over and lowering Vaggie’s spear again without even turning her head. "I have a great place to start! We can begin with something super simple! Why don't you use people's * names ? Like: I'm Charlie, not babe. And my dad is Lucifer." She gestured to Adam. "Let's try it! I'm..." she trailed off. Adam looked at her blankly for a moment.   

"Desperate?"   

"No, Adam, say my name."   

"Princess."   

"Princess.... * what ?" Charlie had her hands clasped together, a smile on her face, but Lucifer could tell from the way she was squeezing her fingers together that she was getting pissed off.  

"Princess... of Hell?"   

"Okay. Yes. That’s my * title *. That’s a good baby step! But what is my * name ? Come on Adam, you really should know it."   

"Know what?"   

"My * name , Adam. What is my name?"   

"You know, I could just kill him, save us all the trouble." Vaggie looked at her spear before making eye contact with Adam again. "If this is just some paperwork fuck up like he says, he should go right back Up. Problem solved for everyone."   

"Vaggie, I appreciate your suggestion, but dad really wants us to focus on redemption." Charlie kept her smile, wrapping her arms around Vaggie from behind and forcing her to lower her weapon once again. She brought her lips to Vaggie's ear, whispering to her softly.  "If it's too much for you, sweetheart, I don't mind if you step away. I know this has to be difficult." Vaggie's expression instantly softened, and Lucifer saw her grip on the spear relax.   

"I'm fine, dear."   

"Awesome!" Charlie gave Vaggie one last, loving squeeze before turning back to Adam. "Then we can keep practicing!"  

"You really should listen to Charlie." Adam smirked from his seat on the floor. "Ass-Face over there won't let you hurt me.  I'm under his protection."   

"You used my name!" Charlie clapped her hands together excitedly.  "I mean, calling my dad * ass-face * was a bit of a step back. But I can still take the win!" She immediately turned to face Lucifer who was ready just in case Adam started puking. (Though using Charlie's name didn't really feel like a genuine act of kindness so much as it felt like basic human decency.  And surely insulting Lucifer in the same sentence had put Adam purely in the red in the kindness department.) "Dad, I didn't realize you had made a deal with Adam."   

"Not my first choice but since he was so sick and pathetic I took pity on him." Lucifer gave a dismissive wave of his hand. He had no desire for Charlie to press this matter. "You are the one saying to give the Sinner's a chance."   

"I am just... surprised." Charlie's smile wavered for a moment.  She seemed to be struggling with her resolve.  Lucifer had to admit he was impressed Charlie had agreed to help at all with this. Given what Adam had done to her, to her hotel, to her * friends ... she was really sticking to the idea that * anyone * could be redeemed. "Thank you for using my name, Adam. That was great progress! Now how about you use my * dad's ."   

"Oh, you mean douche canoe? Shit brain? Fuck nozzle? Ass Dick." Adam made direct eye contact with Lucifer as he spoke.   

"If you want me to be insulted, I'm not. Half of those insults don't even make sense. You were just being vulgar to be vulgar." Lucifer's expression and tone remained completely stoic. He really wasn't that offended. It was fucking * Adam . He just sort of expected the shit talking.   

"Okay, I am asking too much again." Charlie sighed. "Let's try something else! Adam, how are you feeling this fine afternoon?" Charlie gave her biggest, warmest smile. Adam stared at her blankly. Lucifer could almost see the gears in that empty head trying to process what she was doing.   

"Actually, I feel like shit." Adam's response was... genuine, though far from polite. "I mean, I'm in fucking Hell."  

"Aw, I am sorry you feel that way. Is there anything I can do to try and help you feel better?"   

"Can you get me back to Heaven?   

"I can certainly try! But * you * also need to do your part!" She kept the same level of cheer and optimism. Adam's face fell and he rolled his eyes.   

"Ah, it's one of these fucking lectures."   

"It's not a lecture, I am just trying to help you." Charlie was really doing her best. Lucifer had to admire her conviction.  "If you want to go home, you have to put in the work."   

"Face it Charlie, he doesn't care. This is mister: Hell is Forever we're talking about here. Not to mention he’s lazy." Vaggie no longer looked ready to kill, but she was still watching Adam like a hawk. Lucifer appreciated her dedication.  He felt even safer knowing there was yet another barrier between Adam and Charlie should he start to deteriorate mentally.   

"What do you miss most about Heaven?" Charlie wasn't giving up. Lucifer could see himself in that eager expression, those wide, hopeful eyes. He had been like that once too, long ago before reality had worn him down into the miserable shell he was today. But Lucifer had the power to protect Charlie from his fate. And he would do everything that he could to keep her from the harsh realities of the Heavens.   

"How... it didn't have your lame ass dad breathing down my neck." Adam wasn’t taking the question seriously, which was no shock. "And it was clean, temperate, and the only thing that was hot was the population." Lucifer put his face in his hands.   

"If you could go back, what would be the first thing you would do?" Charlie wasn't letting Adam get under her skin despite the Fallen's best efforts. "Think about it! It's a beautiful day in Heaven! A glorious Wednesday afternoon and you can get as many of those tiny rainbows in your ice cream as you want."   

"Sprinkles, dear. We talked about that. The tiny rainbows are just Sprinkles." Vaggie looked amused more than anything else. Lucifer's gaze went back to Adam who for a moment looked ready to give a snarky retort, however, his shoulders drooped only slightly, he looked away from the others and toward the window.  

"It's Wednesday?" He sounded a bit distant as he kept staring out of the window. Lucifer started to grow concerned. An angry shouting Adam was at least coherent.  When he got quiet, things could turn very quickly.   

"Yes?" Charlie must have noticed the tonal shift. "Are Wednesdays your favorite day? Or... least favorite?"   

"I used to have lunch with Abel on Wednesday... though I guess I have been way too busy for it recently."   

Fuck. If Cain was a trigger for Adam, Lucifer couldn't imagine Abel would be much better. "Well, you were a busy guy up in Heaven, you know, plotting my downfall and all that." Lucifer put his hand on Adam in a dramatic pat on the shoulder. Though, his hand lingered, claws holding tightly to him just in case.   

"Huh?" Adam was still speaking quietly.  He was starting to put Lucifer on edge.   

"Adam... are you feeling okay?" Charlie started to step forward, but Lucifer held out his hand, shaking his head.   

"Adam is just distracted trying to think up his next insult, aren't you, jackass?" Lucifer forced a laugh and gave Adam a little shove. Adam blinked, shaking his head, looking around the room again, before the default annoyed expression replaced the distracted one that had been giving Lucifer concern.  

"Don't fucking touch me, bitch." Adam waved Lucifer's hand away and Lucifer let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.   

"See?" Lucifer smacked Adam on the back and the First Man immediately tried to swat him away like a cat. "He's fine Charlie.  You know how hard it is for him to form thoughts in that head."   

"Hey, fuck you." Adam glared at him.  

"You're sure you're alright, Adam? You have been sick..." Charlie must have picked up on her dad's unease, she was observant and that was a problem for the Devil.   

"He's no worse than he usually is." Lucifer tried to dismiss her concern.  

"I'll admit, this whole * sickness * is a bit confusing. I know Sinners can get sick, but I haven’t heard of anything like this before. It can't spread to the other hotel patrons, can it?"   

"No, not unless they touch his puke or something, and I know Sinners are kinda unpredictable, but I can't see any of your patrons wanting to do that." Lucifer laughed.  There was, of course, also the matter of * biting * but he was there to prevent that from happening, so it wasn't worth mentioning to Charlie.  

"Oooookay." Charlie raised an eyebrow at him, and Lucifer was worried he was losing her confidence.   

"Look, it's nothing I came up with. You have a problem with the sickness, you can take it up with Pestilence." It was time for Lucifer to throw someone else under the metaphorical bus. Someone Charlie had never met, and who was not here to defend themselves currently. "You know he's always coming up with new shit."   

"Hey, am I better yet?" Adam, thankfully, interrupted. "Cause I don't feel any different.  Not entirely surprising because I was already a divine piece of ass, but like... I was expecting to not be black and white anymore."   

"Um, no." Charlie smiled, but there was less energy in it than before. "You're not cured, Adam. You did one thing I asked you to do, and that was use my name. But when you did that, you also insulted my dad in the same sentence."  

"Right and that was funny, hilarious, even." Adam stared back up at her.    

"No, it was just mean." Charlie's smile faded a little more.   

"I just don’t think you understand my more sophisticated humor. Lute would have laughed."   

"Lute was a fucking psycho." Vaggie had the opportunity to join the arguing, and she had taken it. It wasn’t shocking that she had issues with the other Exorcists. Lucifer was just relieved to find out at least some of them had normal names.   

"Listen, Adam, if you don’t want help, there isn't much I can do." Charlie’s tone was serious, though far from harsh. "But if you want to go enjoy your Wednesday lunches with Abel again, I suggest you put a bit more effort into this." Lucifer instantly tensed. He kept a careful eye on Adam, mentally pleading for the First Man to remain coherent.   

"Wednesday Abel, Friday Seth...." Adam did seem rather collected. "Maybe I can work out something with Cain on a Thursday... or any other day- I'm sure he's busy with work." He looked over at Charlie, "you know my son owns a company here, right?"   

"Yeah, Cain Organics." Charlie seemed a bit confused. "He helps oversee Hell's food production."   

"He was such a fucking good farmer. Like, you have no goddamn idea how talented he was. He learned from the best, obviously." Adam gestured to himself. "He would follow me around in the fields all day since he could walk."   

"Aw!" Charlie's smile seemed to return as she watched Adam reflect on his oldest son. "Little baby Uncle Cain sounds so cute!"   

"You keep calling him * uncle ." Adam raised an eyebrow. (Or maybe he raised both, Lucifer couldn't tell what the eyebrow on the silhouetted side of Adam’s face was doing.) "Not sure you know what that word means."   

"He's just always been around since I was little. He came to all my birthday parties.  He even made my cake for my big one hundred." Charlie went to her dresser and pulled out an old scrapbook. Lucifer found himself leaning in as well- he didn't know Charlie liked scrapbooking! That opened up an entire new array of gift possibilities for her! Maybe it was something they could do together! Sure, Lucifer hadn’t really done it before, but it looked like fun. (Plus, Charlie's little book was just so nicely constructed with lots of colors and stickers.) "Here we go," Charlie flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for. To Lucifer's surprise, she handed the book to Adam. Lucifer's anxiety instantly shot through the roof. He had no idea if Adam could be trusted with something as fragile as a scrapbook. He * really * hoped Charlie had extra copies somewhere.   

"Oh damn, look at that." Adam took the book from her, Lucifer leaned in close to keep an eye on what Adam was doing with his hands. He had no idea what powers Adam had retained from the Fall (the actual fall from grace, not the super kickass ride that everyone in Hell loved), but now really wasn't the time to find out. But the worst Adam did was put his thumb directly on Lilith's face as he looked at the photo of Charlie with her parents standing in front of an absolutely * massive * cake. Standing to the side of the cake was Cain looking quite pleased with himself. "That is a fucking baller cake."  

"It tasted even better than it looks." Charlie smiled down at him. Lucifer had to admit, he wasn't expecting Adam to be capable of carrying on a civil conversation with Charlie. He wasn't sure if he needed to be watching him for signs of worsening Corruption, or signs that he would vomit over Charlie's beautiful album. "He made a lot of my birthday cakes, actually. But that one was probably my favorite."   

"Not surprised." Adam smirked. "Lilly couldn't cook for shit, and I * know * your dad's worthless when it comes to food unless he's pulling crap out of his ass."   

"It's called * conjuring , Adam, and you fucking know that." Lucifer's eyes narrowed. (He hadn’t heard Adam refer to Lilith as Lilly in quite some time.)  "I'm not pulling shit out of my ass; I'm altering the particles in the air to create a desired outcome. You wouldn't get it. It's an * Archangel * thing."   

"If it's an '* Archangel thing ' then why the fuck can you do it?" Adam met his gaze.   

"Listen here you little shit-" Lucifer was ready with an incredibly witty comeback, but Charlie spoke up before he could absolutely destroy Adam on an emotional level with his clever wordplay.   

"Archangel? Those are the Angels in charge, right? Like Sera?"   

"Oh * fuck * no." Lucifer tried not to laugh but failed. Much to Lucifer's surprise, Adam snorted.  

"She wishes."   

"Oh, I just thought... with the trial and everything..." Charlie didn't seem upset, just surprised by the reactions. (Or maybe simply surprised that Adam and Lucifer shared a sentiment, given that both had done nothing but bicker since their arrival.)   

"No," Vaggie shook her head. "Sera's not an Arch, but she is basically the go-to if you want to talk to them. I never saw a single one of the Big Four when I was in Heaven."   

"They're a bunch of elusive, judgmental, holier-than-thou assholes." Lucifer made a face. "I'm not shocked you didn't run into one of them. They don't waste their time on petty shit like damned souls. They have too much snooty gossiping to be doing. Lesser angels, Winners, even Seraphim are beneath them."   

"Oh..." Charlie looked slightly disappointed. "I thought if someone outranked Sera, maybe I could pitch the Hotel again... you know... without Adam and Lute interrupting."   

"We did have the best part of your song though, hands down." Adam didn't seem too invested in their conversation. He was distracted by Charlie's scrapbook where Lucifer could only assume that he was in search of photos containing Cain.  

"I don't think they'll care, Charlie. Last time I made a suggestion to those bitches they cut my fucking wings off." Lucifer took Charlie's hand. (He was still sitting beside Adam, and he didn't want to get up in case Adam pulled out a marker, scissors, or some kind of lighter to '* redecorate ' Charlie's carefully curated scrapbook. However, he did still want to give his daughter some comfort.) He hated letting Charlie down, but Heaven had burned him before- he couldn't let it hurt his daughter.  

"I don't think-" Adam spoke but didn't look up.   

"Adam, shut up." Lucifer didn't break eye contact with Charlie. "Sorry my little red delicious..."  

"Eh, it's fine. We'll just have to try again once we have proof it works!" Charlie's smile melted Lucifer's whole heart.  "Why don't we head downstairs! We can practice some more Redemption exercises! My room is nice and all, but it's a little crowded with all four of us!" Lucifer also had to imagine that Charlie wasn't the biggest fan of Adam pawing through her things like an animal. She held her hand out to Adam for the scrapbook. The First Man reached the end, and much to Lucifer's surprise, handed it back without damaging it.    

"I still think this whole thing is bullshit, but why the fuck not. It's better than being locked in Dick Bag's house and being forced to do all his bidding."   

"Wh-" Lucifer's cheeks went bright gold. "That... that did not happen Charlie. I swear to you. He has always had the ability to leave at literally * any * time. He is staying by his own volition."   

"I know dad." Charlie chuckled. "I trust you, and I don't trust Adam." She looked back at the newly Fallen still sitting on her floor. "Not * yet * at least. But if we work together, we can build that trust as we work your way back up to Heaven!"   

"Not gonna happen, princess." Adam got off the floor dusting himself off. "I liked some of those pictures though."  

"I'm glad!" Charlie opened the door. It seemed her chat with Adam had calmed him down immensely.   

"You go first." Vaggie half-nudged, half-forced Adam out of the door. Lucifer took the opportunity to jump to his feet, grabbing both Charlie and Vaggie and pulling them toward him, lowering his voice.   

"Real quick: do NOT mention Adam's death during Extermination Day, okay? He doesn't remember and if he thinks about it too hard, he freaks out."   

"Okay, that sounds easy enough." Charlie nodded. "Right Vaggie?"   

"I mean, sure, but he's gonna hear about it eventually." Vaggie seemed less thrilled with the idea. "And he's fine * now ."   

"Just trust me, you're better off avoiding it." Lucifer kept his voice low.   

"What are you losers whispering about?" Adam stood directly behind Vaggie who whirled around with the spear. Lucifer had to grab her arm to stop her from impaling Adam straight through. Luckily the spear stopped just shy of his chest. Unfortunately, it startled Adam enough that he stumbled back and started to fall over the hotel banister. His wings flared out, but Lucifer had seen how well they worked. In a flash Lucifer was beneath him, catching Adam in his arms and lowering him on the floor.   

"Adam, are you okay!?" Charlie ran to the banister looking down at the scene below her with genuine concern.   

"I can't believe you fucking fell!" Vaggie was leaning over the banister as well though her expression and words were far less empathetic and more amused.   

"I'm fine." Adam's wings rustled as he shook himself. "I was caught by a fucking baked bean in a top hat."   

"And what could you say to dad? You know, to show how you feel about him catching you?" Charlie was undeterred by Adam's slew of insults.   

"I'd rather have hit the floor." Adam's expression was stoic.   

"Not what I meant." Charlie sighed.   

"Eh, don't be so sad, Honeycrisp." Lucifer was more relieved than anything else. There was no telling how much Adam he would have been forced to clean off the floor if he had fallen. (Not to mention the subsequent reformation of his body would be a nightmare to monitor.) "It would probably kill him to say thank you, especially to me."   

"Oh, fuck off." Adam crossed his arms over his chest. "I mean... * thank you ." The amount of sarcasm dripping from Adam's voice could have made a moody teenage girl jealous. Adam hunched over for a second, he didn't look queasy, but he looked like he was ready to throw up. "It... it's not happening. What the fuck? I said the thing."   

"It has to be * genuine , dumbass." Lucifer rolled his eyes.   

"Yeah... that's not fucking happening." Adam returned to his standing position. "It's your fault I even tripped in the first goddamn place. If you hadn't been holding your * secret conference * upstairs, I wouldn't have almost been stabbed."   

"That's a big fucking stretch." Vaggie mused as she and Charlie reached the bottom of the stairs at last.   

"Yeah well-" Adam was cut off as the Hotel doors flew open and two of the Sinner patrons burst in.   

"Guess who is off work early tonight, sluts!" Angel Dust seemed to be in a remarkably good mood.   

"Angel! That's great!" Charlie clapped her hands together.  

"Damn, that's worthy of some drinks." One of the bedroom doors opened and Husk ventured out to join the group. Lucifer was starting to get a bit uneasy as the room started filling up.   

"The night is ours for painting the town red!" Cherri cheered, leaning on Angel's shoulder. "Get those drinks started and keep 'em comin', mate!" Listening to her talk, Lucifer realized that her accent was vaguely similar to Lysander's. Which was weird because Lysander was a Hellborn.   

"Yeah, Val was in a fucking great mood today. He decided to let everyone go early after Vox came down to talk to him. Not gonna question it because I am benefitting~" Angel gave a dramatic stretch.   

"* Oh goody~ " Great. The Radio Demon was now also back at the hotel, strolling in like he owned the place (which he only * partially * did). "* The Vees are all in a good mood? Perhaps it's time for Hell to freeze over. It's been a while since that happened. We're bound to be due. "   

"I wouldn't say that. I mean I only saw Vox for a second, but he looked a little tired. Maybe he was just hung over." Angel shrugged. "Not my problem~"  

"No fucking way..." Adam was staring at Husk. "That motherfucker has wings! Tell him to put * his * wings up!"   

"They are * little * wings. They aren't like yours! And he doesn't have * that *." Lucifer pointed at Adam's halo.   

"Bullshit." Adam scoffed. "He has something on his head too."   

"A * hat , Adam. He has a fucking hat! He's a cat-based Sinner with little wings and a tiny hat."   

"Cats don't have wings, stupid."   

"That's just his Sinner form, fuck ass! I didn't *invent* it! That's just what Hell does!"   

"So what? He's like a sphynx?" Adam seemed remarkably unconvinced by Lucifer's explanation. The Devil blinked.   

"I mean... I don't *think* so."   

"Hold the fucking phone!" Angel Dust's voice interrupted Lucifer's and Adam's private bickering session. "Um... Charlie... what the actual * fuck * is * that * doing here!?"   

"Angel! Sorry, that's my fault." Charlie could sense the tension and she quickly positioned herself between the Hotel residents and Adam. "Dad asked me to help him with something."  

"Help HIM!?" Cherri was poised, ready to fight. "Are you bloody serious!?"   

"It was an emergency, and well... this hotel * is * about redemption." Charlie was doing everything in her power to keep a fight from erupting.   

"Charlie..." Angel looked more * upset * than anything else. "He killed Pentious..."  

"I... I know..." Hearing the heartbreak in Charlie's voice tore Lucifer's own resolve to shreds. God, she was so fucking strong, putting up with Adam's bullshit after everything he had done to her? What kind of father would thrust that on his only daughter?   

"* Come now, Angel. Don't be so harsh ."   

"The fuck are you talking about?" Angel's eyes narrowed as Alastor surveyed the chaos with un unwavering grin.   

"* We've all killed people. This is Hell, after all. The only difference is: I've never killed anyone you knew personally ~"   

"Shut the fuck up." Cherri turned her aggression toward the radio demon.   

"We should go." Lucifer could feel the tension in the room boiling. The last thing he wanted to do was cause trouble for his daughter at her hotel. "Come on, Adam."   

"Yep, I'm out." Adam stopped for a moment, turning to Charlie. "They have every right to be mad at me. I get it. But thanks for letting me see those pictures." And with that he walked out. Lucifer closed the door to the Hotel behind them. Not a moment too soon as Adam hunched over. A bag materialized in front of him, and he grabbed it, throwing up almost instantly. "Are you fucking kidding me!?" The bag went up in flames the moment he stopped.  (Honestly, Lucifer was surprised he had made it this long. A genuine thank you to Charlie, that wasn't what he was expecting, but it was progress.) Though, perhaps in future sessions, he should have Charlie come to Adam. The Sinners, rightfully, didn't want anything to do with the general who led the Exorcists. He couldn't blame the harsh reactions. Who knows what they had lost at Adam's hands. He was lucky they didn't attack on sight.   

"Good work today, Adam." Lucifer wasn't being one hundred percent genuine, but there was a real compliment buried under his annoyance. "You only insulted my daughter * most * of the time."   

"Fuck off, I feel like shit." Adam glowered at him as they headed back toward the mansion.   

"Yeah, not surprising." Lucifer didn't feel like telling Adam: * it only gets worse from here , would be helpful in motivating him. "Maybe you can relax when we get back, after you finish cleaning, of course."   

"Not happening." Adam rubbed his eyes, he looked * exhausted . Not that anyone in Hell ever looked chipper and well rested- aside from Lucifer's darling daughter- but there was no denying that Adam looked * sick . (And that was ignoring his- half- pasty Sinner complexion.)   

"Figured I would try." Lucifer gave a little shrug. "You're really not much of a maid, if I'm being honest."   

"Because I’m not your fucking maid."   

"Yeah, not a good one at all. I am going to have to talk to your references."   

"I should have been security."  

"That's Lysander's job, you know that." Lucifer smiled at the absurdity of the idea. "Plus, you hate me. Why would I put you in charge of security? You would be handing weapons out at the front door and offering a power point presentation of all my weaknesses."   

"I mean... that's fair." Adam gave a little shrug. "Except I am not the best with technology, which wasn't so much a problem in Heaven because everything just kind of adapts to you and is just incredibly easy to use- but I will tell you I have been shit at it in Hell. I don't even think the phone in my room works at all." Lucifer didn’t have the energy or desire to explain to Adam that the reason his phone wasn't working was less that Adam was just innately bad with technology (which he might be, Lucifer hadn’t seen him try enough to know for sure) and more that Adam had ripped the phone out of the wall while in a delusional state. (Though the fact that Adam had yet to realize it wasn't plugged in didn't bode well for the future.) "So maybe instead if a power point, I would just like, give out pamphlets."   

"See? This is why you aren't doing security." Lucifer mused. "Also, before you get any ideas about passing out those pamphlets anyway, I should remind you that your safety is directly tied to me. If I go down, you are at Hell's mercy, and if the Sinners were merciful, they wouldn't be down here. So, proceed with caution."   

"Oh, I hate that."   

"Good. I'm glad you hate it." Lucifer hated it too because it meant protecting Adam, but at least it made Adam miserable, and that knowledge brought Lucifer a small spark of joy.  

"Fine, so no murder pamphlets, but I am not fucking cleaning."   

"Yeah, I really don't expect you to. So, you not cleaning is not the great act of protest that you think it is."   

"Your house is a disaster; you would need my whole fucking army to clean it."   

"Are you volunteering them? Because yeah it might be a little weird to have Exorcists at my house picking things up off the floor, but I'm not really * opposed * to the idea."   

"I wasn't volunteering them; I was insulting you."   

"Well don't insult me with the promise of extra help. I mean, you'd be the one having to split your paycheck with all of them. But I would give you a bonus for efficiency."   

"The Exorcists aren't coming to clean your fucking house."   

"Right, because you don't want to share your pay. I get that."   

"No. No one is cleaning your goddamn house!"   

"I don't know why you sound so upset when you're the one who suggested it." Should Lucifer have been a little easier on Adam given the situation? Probably. But Adam didn’t seem to like it when Lucifer showed him any kind of empathy or pity. In fact, it had quite the opposite effect and seemed to just upset him more. Plus, Lucifer wasn't exactly Adam’s biggest fan, and he could only bite his tongue for so long before a stream of mockery just sort of tumbled out of his mouth.   

"You know goddamn well I didn't suggest shit to you."   

"Oh look! We're here." Lucifer ignored Adam’s irritation and walked along the pathway up to his door. "Now you run along and get to dusting.  I have work to do." Lucifer opened the door and waved Adam along. The First Man simply flipped up his middle finger and stalked off toward his room. That was all well and good. Lucifer had more important things to do, and Adam would just get in the way. (Not to mention, he had actually made progress, which was mostly just shocking. Lucifer couldn't imagine that Adam felt great.)  

Lucifer had to go to the west wing again, though not to the hidden room, just to another, forgotten office that held different, less dangerous artifacts that Lucifer had long ago neglected. These were all important, sure, but not necessarily important to the Devil who owned them. The room had gathered dust in the years since he had last used it- it had to be at least five since he had last stumbled in here. It was a shame the maid wasn't allowed in the West Wing because damn if this place didn't need cleaning. (Not that Adam *would* clean it, but that was beside the point.)   

The King of Hell sighed as he surveyed how crowded this room had gotten. It was less an archive of important objects, and more a junk-filled storage chamber. And somewhere in here was the item he needed. Damn, Heaven would be riding his ass if they knew he had to actually look for the fucking thing. It was supposed to be displayed in a '* safe place of great importance ', but that was a waste of fucking time and energy.  And really, Lucifer had no desire to have to look at the fucking thing every day. It was tacky and clashed with his * incredibly * stylish decor.   

He moved some objects around, trying not to get too much dust on him as he tried to locate the item in question. It had to be around somewhere, and it wasn't like the thing was small. It was actually about the size of a door. So, it wasn't as if the thing could hide. It was just a matter of figuring out where it had gotten buried. He really needed to think about cleaning up this room a bit, but that was a problem for future Lucifer. Right now, he was on a mission.   

There was a soft *clink* under the heel of his boot as if it had struck glass, and he immediately pulled back. He started shoving items aside as he saw exactly what he was looking for, flat on the floor practically invisible beneath the pile of artifacts that had stacked up above it. Fucking finally!  

Lucifer grabbed the gilded edges of his target and started pulling it out from its impromptu tomb. He dragged it toward the exit, no need to use it in this filthy room. He could put it in his workshop. He would just need to make some room. Once he had it free, he teleported, with his item, to the new, temporary destination.  

He found a nearby wall and placed his newly found item against it. It looked like a mirror, beautiful silvery glass surrounded by expertly crafted golden framing. It was truly an ornate piece, but it was also tacky as fuck because Heaven had created it. It was like they were allergic to style, Upstairs. All the more reason that Lucifer was better off down below. He frowned as he noticed a crack along the bottom. Fuck. Hopefully it still worked. He really should have been more careful with the stupid fucking thing. He probably wouldn't get a second one, or if he did, it would be accompanied by a long-ass lecture and hateful stares.   

Nope. He wasn't ready to deal with any of that bullshit. Not today, not ever.   

Lucifer shoved most of his ducks to the side to create the illusion of cleanliness in the area the mirror reflected. No fucking way he would let them see the disaster in which he was living. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction. He placed his hand to the glass, and it began to glow, the mirror becoming consumed with light until a silhouette appeared. The light died down and Lucifer stood face to face with Sera, her expression serene, hands folded gently in her lap.   

"Greetings Lucifer." Polite as always.   

"I need to talk to Raphael." This was it. The Heaven Phone- poorly named since it was really more like a mirror- but Lucifer hadn’t been in charge of the name.   

"Raphael is not taking calls at the moment." She didn't bat an eye.   

"It's * important , Sera. You know I don't call unless it's life or death."   

"One hundred years ago you called us to ask if our refrigerator was running."   

"Okay, but that was funny. Back then that joke was still new. I basically invented it." Lucifer was wasting his time preaching comedy to a fucking angel. He rolled his eyes putting both hands on his cane. "Fine, if Raphael is busy, let me talk to Hippolyta." One of Raphael highest ranking Seraphim would do in a pinch. In fact, it might even be preferable since he hadn't talked to one of the Big Four since he had Fallen, and he was more than keen to keep it that way.  

"Hippolyta is currently attending to business and is not taking calls."   

"Florence?" In Lucifer's memory, Florence had been just as high up in Raphael's medical hierarchy as Hippolyta.   

"Unavailable."   

"Are you fucking serious? Go get them. This is important medical information, Sera. Raphael's angels are going to want to know!"   

"I cannot interrupt them. But if it is so urgent, I will gladly take notes and bring them to Raphael myself. He can call you back if he feels it necessary." Sera was polite about it, but Lucifer could tell she was purposefully avoiding putting him into contact with the others. Most likely by the request of the other Seraphim.  Lucifer wasn't exactly * popular * in Heaven and he doubted any of the high ups actually wanted to deal with him- important intel or not. Sera was about the only one who would talk to him anymore. He gave a defeated sigh. There was no winning this.  

"Fine. But this is really something for Raphael's staff, not Gabriel's, so please make sure it gets to the right Seraphim." He took a deep breath. "Adam is here and he has the Corruption." There it was... all out in the open.   

"..." Sera stared at him for a moment. Lucifer really had expected more of a reaction from such big news. It's not like Sera didn't know what Corruption was, she was old enough to remember.   

"D... did you hear what I said?"   

"Adam... who? There are many Adams in this life and the next."   

"* Adam *, Adam. The First Man? Calls himself the Dickmaster despite his unimpressive size? Cain, Abel, and Seth's dad?"   

"Adam is dead, Lucifer."   

"No fucking shit, bitch. Yeah, I know, I was there. He doesn’t know it, and I would *not* bring that up if you see him. It doesn't go well for anyone.” Lucifer sighed. “But turns out, he got better, you know how contracts work, which he did break by the way. So, he Fell, capital F, and now he’s my fucking problem. But all of this is kind of minor compared to the other part of my big reveal? Remember? He's Corrupted? Big C? Now that I am saying this out loud, we should really diversify our angelic lexicon because differentiating words based solely on capital letters can get confusing when we talk."   

"Adam... is with you?" Sera seemed to be ignoring Lucifer's suggestions in favor of focusing on his original point. "No offense, but that seems unlikely."   

"No, no, no, no, no, he's definitely here. It's been my pain the ass since arrived like three... four days ago?" It was actually hard to remember, the past few days had all been running together.    

"And you have proof of this?"   

"Really?" Lucifer glared at her. Sure, he was called the * Prince of Lies * by some, but that didn't mean that he would lie about something important like this.  

"I am sorry, I mean no ill will, but it just seems... hard to believe."   

"Ugh." Lucifer rolled his eyes. "You're really gonna make me do this, aren’t you?" He picked his cane up, "Stay.” He pointed his cane at the mirror. “Stay right there." And with that he vanished, reappearing in the room Adam had claimed. He saw the First Man lying face-first on the bed, looking ready to doze off. Lucifer tapped him with his cane. "Get up, I need you."   

"Huh?" Adam looked up sleepily, he seemed a little out of it, given he hadn't immediately sat up and spit out an insult.   

"I need you, come on." Lucifer slid the apple topper of his cane beneath the collar of Adam’s angelic robe and lifted him up. Adam immediately started to flail, the wings popping out so fast Lucifer was smacked in the face with white feathers.   

"HEY PUT ME DOWN!"   

"Let's get going, bitch boy. I have need of you." Lucifer lowered him back on his feet. Adam immediately jumped back, away from him, giving the Devil an angry look. He wrapped his wings around himself, hunkering down.  

"Need me * for what ?"   

"Oh, don't be so skeptical.  It's for a fucking meeting, dumbass. I think you'd actually want to be there for it."   

"Meeting?" Adam still looked unsure, "is it your eleven o'clock? Because it’s like... six... ish..."   

"Huh, Syn told you about that too? No. I'm not going to that one on principle at this point. This is a meeting with your old employer, the Up Top."   

"Heaven!?" Adam’s wings flared back out, this time with excitement. "Fuck yeah I'll go! They can finally take me home!"   

"I wouldn't hold too tightly to that idea, Adam." That was one reason Lucifer hadn’t wanted to drag Adam to his little conference; despite predicting they would want proof of his arrival. (The other reason, of course, was that Adam was obnoxious and he really didn’t need him * hovering * while Lucifer tried to have a serious conversation.)  

"What are you waiting for!? Let's fucking go!"  

"This way," Lucifer lead him out of the bedroom and back to the workshop. "And do me a favor and try not to touch anything. Or mention the ducks."   

"No promises." Adam shrugged. Lucifer was already regretting his decision as he opened the door to where Sera was waiting on the other side of the glass. "Sera!" Adam ran forward, putting his hands against the glass, Lucifer immediately brought his hand to his own face, slowly dragging it down. His *d on't touch anything * warning had apparently fallen on deaf ears. "Holy fuck it's you!"  

"Adam..." Sera brought her hand to the glass, her other hand covering her mouth, eyes wide- even the eyes in her hair and halo had opened in horror upon seeing him. "Oh Adam... what happened to you?"  

"No idea, I just woke up like this." Adam shook his head. "But you can fix it! Right? It's Wednesday and I have missed a lot of my lunches with Abel, so if I can just go on back that would be-"  

"Adam, you poor soul..." Sera lowered the hand over her mouth and brought it to where her heart would be if she were a human. "You cannot return to Heaven in such a state."   

"I am pretty sure this is a misunderstanding.  I served Heaven. I have been a good man. I deserve to go back. I * have * to go back."   

"I am so, *so* sorry, Adam, my child. I have no idea how such a fate has befallen you..." Sera had tears in her eyes.   

"He's Corrupted, Sera. I would show you the black blood, but it takes a while and seeing you has already made Adam antsy." Lucifer didn't really feel like stressing Adam out anymore, knowing how his emotions could worsen his mental and physical state. "So, you'll have to trust me. I’m guessing he picked it up in Purgatory. No telling how long he has had it, so you best check anyone he's in close contact with just to be sure it isn't spreading. I would focus on the Exorcists."  

"An excellent suggestion, Lucifer." Sera nodded her head gravely, though her gaze was still on Adam. "However, those are decisions that Raphael should be making. I will relay your recommendations."   

"You can help me! Right? Let me talk to Raph." Adam was getting stressed, just as Lucifer feared. "Let me go Upstairs with you guys so I can get better..."   

"Adam, I will relay all this directly to Raphael, I am sure he will come up with something." Sera's voice was calming, despite the sadness in her eyes. "But you cannot come up here. Even if this is a misunderstanding and you belong back with us- if you have an illness... Heaven will only mask the symptoms. You... might be better off where you are..."   

"Let me talk to Raph!" Adam insisted a tad more forcefully.   

"I will let him know the situation." Sera kept completely calm.   

"Listen I know he's n-" Adam started to say something but all of Sera’s eyes opened at once and she gave him a look.  

"Adam, you are going to exacerbate your condition if you keep stressing. Why do you not take a seat and let Lucifer and I finish talking?"   

"Take it easy." Lucifer hesitantly put his hands on Adam’s shoulders, pulling him back, away from the image of Sera. "You've already had a long day; you don't need to make things worse."   

"You have done so much for us Adam, I will talk to Michael and plead a case for your return. And I will alert Raphael to your possible condition." Sera looked empathetic, staring down at Adam, her expression soft, one hand still on the glass. Adam put his silhouetted hand against the glass so that his palm was against Sera's. Her hand made his look so small in comparison, especially since he had lost his angelic size-shifting abilities leaving Adam no larger than he was as a man.   

"Can I at least talk to Seth and Abel?"  

"Adam..." her eyes cast their gaze downward. "... no."   

"But they have to be worried! At least let me tell them I'm okay! I-"   

"* Are * you okay Adam? You're in Hell... Fallen from grace... you might be sick with something that could * endanger * your sons. You know they would both come running to your aid if they knew. And then what, Adam? What fate would befall them? Would you want them to forgo the comforts and safety of Heaven to come running to your side? Haven't they, especially * Abel , suffered enough for your mistakes?"  

"But..."   

"I am sorry my child, but they are better off not knowing the truth. When these things are settled, and if it is determined you are still divine, then you can open your arms to them up here."   

"Come on Sera, it wouldn't hurt just to let him say hi to his kids..." Lucifer never thought he would be arguing on Adam's behalf, but he hadn't seen the First Man look so crestfallen since he had died. He lowered his voice. "Things didn't exactly go great for him when he reunited with Cain."   

"Cain is a murderer who robbed Adam of his youngest son." Sera did not keep her voice down, and Adam was still right beside the mirror.   

"Don't fucking talk about Cain like that!"  

"Adam, temper." Sera did not so much as raise her voice. Her hand fell away from the mirror and back into her lap. "The sin of wrath is already consuming you... it pains me to see you like this... breaks my heart."   

"I think this conversation needs to end." Lucifer cleared his throat. Adam was beyond stressed by this point, bordering on having another episode.  

"I will relay your concerns to the Archangels, Lucifer. You have my word. They will contact you if and when they see fit." Sera didn't fight him. Knowing the Arch's, Lucifer wouldn't hear shit, so he wouldn't keep his hopes up. At least he had fucking tried. "Good day to you, your majesty."   

"Good day and thank you for absolutely nothing." Lucifer tapped the mirror and the image of Sera disappeared. He immediately turned to Adam. "Sorry about all that, why don't you go back to sleep?"   

"Did you hear her!?" Adam was * livid . "The fucking audacity of that bitch!"   

"Yeah, that's Heaven for you. They raise some good points, but they won't even let you argue your side. They know best. Fucking assholes." Lucifer tried to keep his tone light; he didn't want to push Adam over the edge.   

"After everything I have done for them, for * her . And they won't even let me talk to my fucking sons!? And did you HEAR what she said about Cain!? My Cain!?"   

"They do hold grudges up in Heaven, speaking from experience."   

"I just can't believe she would *do* this! What ever happened to the * Oh no Adam, you have to Adam. We Need you, Adam! This is fucking bullshit!"   

"Wait... what are you talking about?" Lucifer was quickly losing track of Adam's train of thought.   

"Next time you * need * something from me Heaven, you can suck my HOLY DICK!"   

"Who needed what?" This was the first time Adam had ever mentioned anything like this, and Lucifer wasn't sure if this was insight into something, or just another deluded rant. Adam could quickly disconnect from reality, and Lucifer had no way of knowing if he was genuinely recollecting, or if his mind was creating an event that had never taken place. Unfortunately, Adam wasn't the most reliable narrator.   

"When they needed-" Adam cut off suddenly, his eyes rolled back in his head.   

"FUCK!" Lucifer darted forward and managed to grab him before his head smacked into the work bench. Adam was rigid, he started convulsing in the Devil's grip. Lucifer carefully laid him on his back. He conjured up a pillow to place under the Sinner's head. Adam's convulsions worsened for a moment before he finally relaxed. "Adam...?" Lucifer called his name. He could see blood dripping from Adam's nose, but he seemed otherwise unharmed. "Adam... can you hear me...?"  

"Ugh..." Adam made a noise of discomfort. Relief washed over Lucifer. Adam was talking, that was a good sign. "I feel like I've been trampled..."   

"Do you remember anything we were talking about?"   

"I remember talking to Sera... and she was being a real fucking bitch. Unless... I dreamed that." Adam blinked, his eyes were still a bit hazy, but it seemed like he was back to his old, awful self.   

"No, that happened. Can you stand up?"   

"Fucking Sera." Adam shifted, but rather than getting into a sitting position, he flopped over. "This is her fault. Or your fault. Both. You're in cahoots."   

"Come on," Lucifer rolled his eyes. Yeah, Adam seemed fine. "You're gonna get blood on my floor if you flop around like that." He put a hand under Adam's arms and helped lift him into a sitting position.   

"It's just like... why wouldn't she do more? Why couldn't she just fucking fix me?"   

"That's not how Corruption works. If there was a be-all-end-all cure, I would have used it by now." Lucifer understood the frustration. Being let down by Heaven for the first time could really shake up a man's world view. "They're doing their best."  

"She could have at least let me see my fucking kids." Adam grumbled. "I mean, are they just gonna think I'm dead? I went for an Extermination and just never came back? That's fucked up."   

"Yeah, it kinda is." Lucifer looked toward the exit, "I can probably get you back to your room."  

"I don't need your fucking help. I can...." Adam stopped talking. Just mid-sentence. It was as if someone abruptly cut the sound. Lucifer started to turn his head when he felt a sharp, pinching pain in the side of his neck. His eyes looked in the now reflective, mirror surface of the Heaven phone. Lucifer's mouth went dry as he saw Adam, eyes completely clouded and blank, teeth sinking into Lucifer's neck.   

"FUCKING SHIT!" Lucifer immediately shoved Adam away, racing toward the mirror.   

"Ah!" And just like that Adam seemed back to normal. He had never changed personalities so fucking quickly before Lucifer didn't know it was even possible. "Why'd you push me, jackass!?"  

"You BIT me!"   

"No, I didn't." Adam ran his tongue over his teeth. "Though my mouth does taste kinda funny..."  

"Because you FUCKING * BIT * ME!" Lucifer examined the wound in the mirror, his mind racing. He could see the puncture wounds in the semicircular shape of a human bite. (It appeared Adam did, in fact, have teeth on the whited-out side of his mouth. They just couldn't be seen through the unnatural glow. Well, that was a fun fact.) Lucifer wiped the small streams of golden blood away with his black glove. Fuuuuuck. This was bad. This was RFEALLY bad. This was-  

Lucifer's mind stopped racing as he watched his natural healing kick in. The bites immediately closed up.   

Oh. Never mind. This was fine.   

"That's bad... right?" Adam was still struggling to get up.   

"It's fine." Lucifer showed him the white of his neck where the bite had once been. "Like I said, I'm immune."   

"Well, aren't you just fucking special."   

"I really am." Lucifer grinned at him. "Now let's get you back to your room. But this time, we're using safety precautions."  

"Safety wh-" Adam was cut off as a muzzle appeared over his mouth. He glowered up at Lucifer. "Oh, come the fuck on."

Chapter Text

Things had been a little strange for the Vees.

It was hard to say when things had started getting... weird, but Velvette had to place it around the time that Exorcist motherfucker had clawed his way through Vox Tower. Not that it was really her problem, her things weren't affected by the unholy terror that had ripped through, leaving nothing but pain and irritation in his wake.

If anything, Vox was the one who seemed the most upset. Something about Alastor... she hadn't paid attention when he was venting to her (it was always something about Alastor). But that whole incident was months ago by now. He should really be over himself. Sure, Alastor could wriggle under Vox's skin like a parasite, but usually Vox chilled out after a few days of angry rants. But this fucking time he was struggling to let it go- to let anything go. Vox had always had a problem with... obsessing. Usually Velvette could ignore it, however, recently Vox was making it everyone's problem.

The asshole had even beefed-up security: just in case.

In case of what? In case Velvette was threatened by the ability to easily access her own fucking room? The abstract and absolute horror. He went so far as to keep changing the security codes at completely arbitrary points in time. Sometimes the dumbass would even forget to tell Val and Vel, so they would both be stuck just pounding on the reinforced doors until Vox realized his mistake and let them back in. It was a goddamn nightmare. And to make things worse, Velvette was going to have to go to a fucking meeting tomorrow with Mary-Lu. She owed that slimy bitch a favor after Velvette had chipped a nail right before a major photoshoot and somehow Mary had just slid right next to her with the exact perfect press-on matching in size and shape. Velvette would have admired the play, if it had been used on literally anyone else.

She should have been prepping and outfit planning for tomorrow, but in all honesty, Velvette didn't give a flying fuck about whatever Mary-Lu wanted her to do, and the rising Overlord would get what she got out of the newest of the Vees. It's not like Velvette had to try hard to look good, anyway. To people like her, perfection came naturally. But Vox was always on about keeping good relationships with the other Overlords (except Alastor, because- in Vox's own words- fuck Alastor). Apparently, it was easier to screw someone over at a later date if they thought you liked them.

Whatever.

It was just one fucking day. Velvette could put up with Mary-Lu for that long. At least she was one of the more recent Sinners. She understood Velvette's references and jokes better than most of the old hags that typically maintained power.

Velvette sat in her room at the vanity, the TV on in the background playing some new melodrama that Vox had introduced. It had only aired a few episodes, but Velvette's models who were hired to play the lead kept coming to her and begging to be changed to any other task. Apparently, it started out strong, but the scripts would sometimes go completely batshit. Not in the ways of grotesque violence or steamy sex- her girls were fine with that. But they insisted things just turned to nonsense as the script went on. It seemed fine from the bits Velvette had seen. It was all stupid. But that was the appeal.

She finished fixing her makeup, running her fingers through her hair one last time just to make sure she was absolute perfection. She hopped on her bed, in her cutest, hottest bedwear and leaned lazily on the pillows. She held up the camera. Nope. The lighting was all wrong. She got back to her feet and began rearranging all her lights before hopping back on the bed. She held up the phone again. Much better. Velvette adjusted her pose, fixing her hair on the pillow.

Snap.

Perfect picture.

She sat back up and immediately logged onto her Sinstagram.

@Radvelvetcakes: So tired from working hard. Look like a mess but feel like a badass. Night babes! #sleepy #nofilter

Instantly the picture took off. And why wouldn't it? She was a fucking celebrity. Her feed was flooded with thirsty Sinners and Hellborns alike. There were hate comments too, but haters were easily dealt with in a place where murder was legal. And Sinstagram wasn't as anonymous as people believed, at least, not when Velvette knew the man who had invented it.

Now that the internet was abuzz with talk of her gorgeous face, it was time to actually get ready for bed.

Velvette hopped in the shower to wash off all the makeup and hair products. It would be a nightmare for her in the morning if she left them on. She finished her shower, drying off, and putting on an actually comfortable set of pajamas. Between Vox and Val, there was no one at Vox Tower that was worth the effort of impressing. The Vees themselves lived in the penthouse, each with a massive suit that was large enough to be its own luxury apartment. When image was everything to a Sinner, it meant Vox spared no expense in assuring that his cohorts had the best of the best. Velvette walked into her kitchen, opening the fridge and shoving the alcohol out of the way to find a bottle of very expensive water. She grabbed it before heading back to the bedroom, taking an unceremonious swig of water before flopping back on the bed.

"Do you hear that?" The woman's voice reminded Velvette the TV was still on in the back.

"Do you hear that?" The actress repeated the words, the exact same, empty inflection. Was this supposed to be avant-garde? Vox was terrible with that artsy shit. It was really more Val's expertise. It could be that the actress in question was just fucking bad. But with all the great actors that had ended up in Hell, it seemed unlikely Vox would have to settle.

"Did you hear that?" The staging was also piss-poor in Velvette's opinion. The actress was completely alone, facing the camera. Who the fuck was she talking to? Maybe there was a co-star off screen. Velvette hadn't been paying enough attention to know. Or maybe she was supposed to be talking to the audience. Ugh. Was it supposed to be one of these fucking artsy the audience is a character pieces? Vox was no Shakespeare, that much was obvious.

"D-d y- h-r th-t?" The TV screen became distorted, the sound was going to shit. Fuck, someone must have knocked into one of Vox's broadcast towers. Velvette figured she might as well text the asshole and let him know his precious trash TV was being interrupted.

He probably knew, the egomaniac was always watching his own shows.

Velvette pulled out her phone and started to scroll for Vox's number. Before she could even get close, the screen froze. Yes, it was well known that Vox-phones were pieces of shit that relied heavily on the concept of planned obsolescence, but the Vees used a different phone, a special one that was far superior to the crap the masses fought over in the streets. It shouldn't have been malfunctioning.

The TV was only spewing static at this point. Velvette couldn't make out anything through the pixelated screen and crackling waves of static pulsing through her speakers.

Fuck, she was really starting to get a headache from the noise.

Nope. She was not doing this. Not tonight. Not after she was ready to pass the fuck out, curled up in her very expensive sheets. This was Vox's problem, and he was going to fucking fix it.

Velvette slid her fluffy slippers and elegant bathrobe on before throwing open the door to her suite and making a B-Line for Vox's place. She walked through the common area that all three of their rooms shared (a luxurious sort of lounge stocked with even more food and drinks- things that didn't fit in the Vees' respective kitchens), right up to the front door, knocking loudly. "HEY FUCKER ALL YOUR SHIT IS BUSTED!"

No answer.

Velvette knocked harder and much to her surprise, the door slid open a crack with her constant banging. That was... unexpected. Vox had been locking his place up like it was the bloody crown jewels. Every month he seemed to have invented some new, incoherent lock to attach to his door. So, the fact that it was open left Velvette feeling a little uneasy. She shook herself; she was an Overlord goddamn it, and no pissy, little corporate bastard was going to stop her from making her displeasure known. So, with no further hesitation, she stormed into Vox's living room.

It had been a while since she had been in here, Vox hadn't been inviting people up as much as he once did. There were multiple TVs, computers, drones, and all sorts of technology scattered about. Those that were on were currently flickering and playing that same static. So even Vox's fucking top-tier shit was affected by this. That was... unexpected. Velvette didn't see her target, so she continued deeper into Vox's home. The sound was worse the closer she drew to Vox's room. The door was cracked open and she could see that it was dark save for the flickering, synthetic light from various screens.

"Vox I'm coming in so if you and Val are fucking, say something now because I don't want to see that shit." Velvette made sure she was loud as she opened the door. She didn't actually think there was some steamy debauchery between the other two Vees. (She was pretty sure Vox and Val were on one of their breaks. They had been rather snippy at each other lately.) But Velvette just wanted to say something. The sound of her own voice could at least drown out some of that static. "So here I come."

There were TVs in Vox's room because, of course there were. The man couldn't be without his technology. Usually, he would use them to display security footage. So, in theory, those should have been working. But they weren't. It was the same, flickering, distorted screen on each of Vox's security monitors as it was on Velvette's TV. Velvette could see Vox, sitting straight up in his bed. His face was... gone.

Warped.

Velvette slowly reached toward him; the static around her was blaring louder than ever. She felt a wave of nausea washing over her as her hand touched his shoulder.

"Vox." She shook him gently at first, but he was as rigid as a corpse beneath her touch. She shook him harder. "VOX!"

A hand wrapped around her wrist so suddenly Velvette let out a small cry. She tried to pull back, but found she couldn't free her wrist from Vox's painfully tight grip.

"Velvette!" All at once the sounds stopped and Vox's face returned. He was smiling, but crimson blood was dripping from the side of his mouth, piling up on the edge of his screen and slowly starting to drip over, onto his bedding. "What brings you here at this unholy hour?"

"What the actual fuck are you doing Vox!?" Velvette was out of breath, but she recovered quickly. Stupid Vox had nearly scared the shit out of her with this new display.

"Sleeping." He looked more annoyed than anything else.

"No, the fuck you weren't! I know what it looks like when you're asleep and it's not whatever the bloody hell you were just doing."

"I don't know what to tell you, Vel. I was asleep." He rubbed his eyes, looking more exhausted than he had the last time she had seen him. "Had a fucking awful dream..." He stared off into space again for a moment. "Can't remember what about..."

"Look, all the VoxTek crap you push on us was acting batshit and I come in and you're..." She trailed off, she couldn't think of a word that fit what she had just seen. "I dunno... possessed?"

"Sleeping, Vel. I was sleeping, we just went over this." Vox stretched and shook himself; he wiped his mouth and saw the red stain on the sleeve of his pajamas in the dim light of the security monitors. "Huh."

"Is huh all you have to say for yourself?"

"I suppose I could also add: how the fuck did you get into my bedroom?"

"Your door was open."

"Impossible. I locked it before I went to bed."

"Well, I dunno what to tell you, Vox. I knocked and it literally just opened."

"But that..." Vox's eyes darted around for a moment. "Hm. Well, I suppose I'll have to deal with that."

"And while you're on it, fix all the bloody TVs, phones, computers... Everything in my goddamn room- no, actually, in the whole fucking tower- was going absolutely mental!"

"Uh... huh..." Vox's eyes flickered to the monitors above him, which of course had begun working fine now that Velvette actually had Vox to complain to. "Fine. Let me see your phone then." He offered his hand out and Velvette sighed, handing him her phone. Vox looked it over, fiddled with it for a few moments, and handed it back. "I dunno what to tell you, Vel. It seems fine to me. All the diagnostics are normal.

"Ugh. Never mind." Velvette ran a hand through her hair. "I'm going to bed."

"Ah yes, hopefully no one wakes you up."

"You weren't sleeping you fucking prick!" Velvette stormed off. She was too tired for this bullshit. She had already gotten all ready for bed and all she wanted to do as pass the fuck out and forget this whole night. She made sure to slam the door to Vox's room before she made her way back to her own suite. She flopped down on her bed, plugging her phone in before finally getting to close her eyes. She had been so tense when talking to Vox she hadn't realized how badly her head had been hurting. Those boys could always find a way to give her a migraine. Maybe it was for the best that she was going out with Mary-Lu tomorrow; it would at least give her a break from the constant presence of her fellow Vees. She felt like she deserved at least that much. (At this point it may have been a downright necessity.)

For the first time in a while, Velvette slept like shit.

When she awoke, her headache had eased, but she hardly felt rested. She rolled over to see spots of red on her pillow. Where the fuck had those come from?

Velvette got to her feet, walking to her bathroom, flipping on the lights and looking at herself in the mirror. It was impressive how, even though she felt like shit, she still looked amazing. She started to fix her hair, but in the process felt something... sticky congealed in her otherwise perfect locks. Velvette took a closer look in the mirror.

Blood?

It had mostly dried but...

Velvette turned her head, dried blood was in her hair and smeared on either side of her head, Carefully, she took a cloth and wiped at her ears. Sure, enough the cloth came back stained red. How the fuck had she managed to do that to herself? She cleaned the blood off her face and out of her hair, checking herself for any sort of injury. There was nothing she could see. That was... certainly an unpleasant way to start the morning. Ah well, the show must go on.

Velvette got dressed back in the same cute nightwear from before. Fixed up her hair, her makeup, and headed back to her bed. She had to flip the pillow over, hide the blood. That wasn't on brand for the picture she was taking. She got her lighting all perfect, before lying in her bed once more, fanning her hair out over her pillows and holding up her phone to get the perfect shot. Then it was back to Sinstagram.

@Radvelvetecakes: Morning babes! Just woke up~ Still kinda tired lol, but there's too much to do. 3. #morningroutine #nofilter #bedhead

She absolutely did not have bedhead, but it made the post look more legitimate. Now it was time to get a cute picture of her breakfast. She put on a much fancier robe (she had yet to decide if she was going to be in said picture or not, but it was best to have the option), and headed out to the joint lounge. She was the first one out in the morning, which was fine by her. She wasn't really in the mood for social interaction until she had her coffee. She grabbed a cute mug that matched her outfit, picking out some of the most expensive and beautiful fruit and setting them up against the cup as she started her coffee. She poured a quick bowl of oatmeal, decorating it with some blueberries and strawberries to give it that nice pop of color. She sat back down taking a few pictures of her display.

@Radvelvetcakes: Starting the day with a healthy breakfast! #yummy #morningroutine #fitandfine

Her coffee was ready, she shoved the food aside and grabbed a bowl of sugary cereal. Sometimes she would eat her set up, but not today. Today she wanted junk. She grabbed the coffee pot, pouring it into her mug, adding a plethora of milk and sugar until that bitter taste was barely detectable. She put her cheek in her hand and shoveled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

"Goooooood morning~" one of the doors flew open and Valentino practically floated out of his room. He looked refreshed, well-rested; he was in a great mood. This had become commonplace for Velvette. Val seemed to be floating on cloud nine for the past few months, and Velvette wasn't complaining. At least someone was in a good mood. "Saw your post~ Cute look. Love it."

"Thank you." Velvette nodded to him. She had gotten his like and comment, but Valentino was always good about interacting with her stuff. "You look good this morning."

"I look good every morning."

"You know what I mean. I slept like fucking shit thanks to Vox's malfunction."

"Malfunction?" Val paused, drink in hand. "You mean because he's been such a moody little bitch recently? I don't know what crawled into his ass and died, but I am not letting him rain on my parade."

"No, last night, everything went bloody haywire and I had to basically go yell at Vox personally." Velvette shivered a bit at the memory of Vox's rigid form.

"Huh..." Val grabbed a pastry out of the glass case- freshly made by VoxTek staff every morning. "I didn't really pick up on anything last night. I was thinking he was feeling better, between you and me. Guess that's too much to ask."

"I don't know what's gotten into him, but he's becoming a fucking nightmare."

"You're telling me." Val took a seat beside Velvette. "Oh, we both look cute. We need a pic!" He took his phone out. Velvette sighed, picking up her cup.

"You're right we both look incredible. Let's do it." She made a cute pose as Valentino took the picture. She trusted his eye, she knew if he posted it, she would look amazing.

"Ugh," the last door swung open and Vox practically stumbled out. He already had a coffee in his hand, in his custom 'Fuck Alastor' mug. It seemed all three Vees felt like being in the lounge for breakfast. Velvette was here for the lighting and backdrop; she wasn't entirely sure what had the others' excuse was. "Holy fucking shit I feel like I was hit by a bus."

"You look like it too." Val had both hands around his glass as he took a sip. Velvette could see the bite on his arm as his sleeve drooped, it had pretty much healed up. She could only see pale, pinprick marks where the teeth had dug in. Good to see it was pretty much gone, the human mouth was a disgusting place- Val if anyone should know that- so it made sense he would have taken good care of it before it got infected.

"Shut up." Vox flopped down on the last remaining chair. He had his cup in one hand, and his phone in the other. "I have so many fucking work requests from last night. Half of Hell is up my ass about the TVs and phones messing up."

"That's so weird, I didn't notice anything..." Val gave a little shrug. "I thought last night was some of your beat work on that new soap opera."

"I didn't get to see any of it because my bloody TV went batshit." Velvette gave Vox an annoyed look.

"I dunno what happened, I was asleep." Vox kept scrolling through his messages looking more and more exhausted.

"I told you last night, you weren't asleep." Velvette watched Vox carefully. "You were fucking dissociating or something."

"What are you talking about?" Vox finally looked up.

"Last night? When I came to your room?"

"What?"

"I came into your room and shook you?" Velvette kept her eyes on Vox but he looked genuinely confused. "Remember?" He blinked.

"Vaguely..." he took a sip of his coffee. "I kind of thought I dreamed that."

"No. You didn't." Thinking back on it, maybe Velvette should have gotten Val to go with her into Vox's room. Not that she wasn't confident in her ability to fuck Vox up, should the need arise, but having another witness to what she had seen might have made Vox more inclined to listen.

"I am swarmed with either messages telling me that everything I made is shit, or telling me last night's episode of Love After Death was the best one I've ever made. Which episode even was it?"

"Oh, it was really good, Vox." Val leaned over on his elbows. "Usually your stuff is pretty contrived, but last night was something special."

"So, your TV didn't freak the fuck out? Because mine did." Velvette raised an eyebrow at Val. Maybe he had somehow been skipped over by whatever the fuck had been screwing with the electronics in Vox's and Velvette's room. Why did he get a free pass? Was he using something different? No way Vox would give Val something better than what he used for himself. Sure, they were fuck-buddies, but Vox would always value himself more than either of the other Vees. Not that Velvette cared, she was the same way. An alliance was nice and all but they were all only here for themselves.

"No, not at all." Val took another sip from his drink. "It's a shame yours did, Velvette." He sounded surprisingly disappointed. "I was really hoping you would have seen it." Velvette raised an eyebrow at Valentino, glancing over at Vox who looked equally confused.

"I'm sure it'll be on Vox Plus." She wasn't really into any of Vox's silly late-night soaps, she preferred his reality TV. But if Val liked them, that was fine.

"Doubtful. True art can really only be appreciated in the moment." Val sighed heavily. "It's a shame, really. I had such high hopes for you Velvette."

"Dude, it's Love After Death, not fucking Hamlet." Her eyes narrowed. There was a moment where it looked as if Val wanted to say more, but he changed his mind.

"There's still time. Not today though," he took his glass and headed back to his room. "I have a lot to do." He glanced back at Vox who was almost falling over in his coffee from fatigue, his phone slid out of his hand and onto the floor. "For the company, of course." And with that his door shut.

"Okay, fucking weird." Velvette turned her attention to Vox. "Wake the fuck up before you spill something." She noticed a black stain on his sleeve. "Or rather, something else." It was a good thing that it was just the two of them, Vox took a great deal of pride in always looking pristine, so having a stained sleeve- unless it was with Alastor's blood- would have driven him crazy.

"Huh? What?" Vox blinked nearly throwing his coffee as he jerked back awake. "Where's my phone?"

"You dropped it."

"Ah fuck." Vox reached down and picked it up off the floor. He went to get up but smashed his head on the table, dropping the phone again. "Double fuck." He finally managed to sit back up with the phone in his hand. But it was a struggle.

"Maybe you should take some time off..." Velvette watched the comedy of errors unfold before her. "You're practically falling apart."

"I'm fine, Velvette. No one calls out of work for being a little tired. I mean, I won't let them." He chuckled to himself. "That being said, the underlings won't do exactly what I want unless I micromanage them~" At least he was sounding a bit more like himself. Vox coughed into his arm before taking another sip of his coffee.

"Right. Well, if you aren't feeling better by the end of the day, maybe just sleep early." It was a waste for her to say any of this. Vox would do exactly as he pleased. Still, she would be lying if she said she wasn't at least the smallest bit concerned for him. He hadn't been himself lately and he just seemed so worn down...

"Yeah yeah." Vox was on his phone again. "Sounds good. But I am fine, Velvette, dear."

"If you insist." She finished her food and got up. "I have to go to a meeting with Mary-Lu today, so if you need me, I'll be in her headquarters."

"The DamnWay CEO?" Vox finally looked up. "Didn't realize you two had gotten buddy-buddy.

"We're not. But I owe her a favor."

"She pays good money for adds from us, so do try and play nicely."

"I'm not nice. Plus, I thought you hated that bitch because her Anti-Exorcist oil or whatever it is, was competing with your Angelic Security. "

"No, but you can be fake-nice with the best of them. So, say whatever she wants to hear, you don't have to mean any of it. Half of what I say to the other Overlords is bullshit. It's the same for them too. No one is honest in the entertainment or sales industries. It's not about that, it's about results. You're right, I don't really like her, but I like that she throws lots of money at me every time there's a new product she needs to push on unsuspecting viewers."

"I mean it depends on how insufferable she is planning on being. But I'll do what I can to be at least civil."

"Maybe don't sing an entire song telling her that she is an old hag that needs to fuck off."

"Well, she's not old. I think she's about my age. But I still might have to tell her to fuck off if she bugs me too much."

"Velvette, I am counting on you to represent the company."

"Yeah. Okay." Velvette rolled her eyes. At least Vox sounded like himself again- if not a little hoarse. "Like I said, if you need me, feel free to get me out of this." She would just have to make it up later, but at least it would break up the amount of time she would have to wear that fake-ass smile that Mary was expecting.

"A favor is a favor, Velvette. I am sure it won't consume too much of your day." Vox seemed remarkably unconcerned. Fucking asshole didn't give a single, solitary shit about Velvette's plight.

"Be back later." She walked back into her room to get ready. She needed to look cuter than Mary-Lu, which wasn't hard as she always wore that stupid red blazer. Still, Velvette couldn't do anything too simple, she was still a fashion icon. Hell would still look to her to know what was in style. So, she snapped her fingers, the fabrics around her forming something new, something with some nice cool, blue tones that would really stand out in contrast to Mary's red. She made a dress, then thought better of it, switching to a cute top and long, tight pants. That would definitely make her look fantastic.

Perfect.

Another snap and she was in the outfit. Now all she had to do was fix up her hair. Something semi-professional would definitely make Mary happy. Would glasses be pushing it? Too nerdy? She looked back at herself in the mirror. No. Not if she made them chic. Oh, she looked more like a stylish, corporate girl than Mary-Lu. It was perfect. It was on brand for her to completely outshine whoever she was with. If Mary-Lu had a problem with it, then that was on her. Velvette couldn't help being the best.

By the time she walked back out, both Vox and Val were gone. That was fine. She had other things to do.

She made her way out into Hell, over toward the Damnway district, a small area on the outskirts of Pride that had popped up almost overnight and spread outward like a plague over the other Overlords' territories. It was a Pyramid scheme, so rapid growth was expected, eventually it would stall out. Velvette simply had to wait.

She went to the front of the building, a Sinner in the matching red blazer was there to greet her. "Velvette! So happy you could make it! Mary-Lu is waiting for you in the studio!" She gestured for Velvette to follow as she led her into an elevator and up to a nice penthouse suite. There was a pool partially closed off behind glass, a massive theater sized TV, and other forms of entertainment scattered everywhere. Mary-Lu was sitting, legs crossed at the bar where another red-jacket wearing Sinner was serving her a drink.

"Velvette! Hey hun!" Mary-Lu instantly waved her over. "Mimosa?" She was smiling from ear to ear, but Velvette noticed she wasn't rushing to get up like she usually would. If Velvette didn't know any better, she would have sworn she saw the ever-enthusiastic Mary-Lu stifle a yawn.

"Actually, yes. That sounds fucking amazing right now." Velvette took a seat beside her and was instantly handed a mimosa in a cute little glass.

"So glad you could make it! I was hoping we would get some time together. I must say, I really admire what you do. Your social media following is truly something worthy of envy."

"It's true." Velvette never minded flattery. Even if it was fake, it was nice to hear others admired her empire. She made vital contributions to the Vees.

"I know this probably isn't how you want to spend your day, but I promise you this isn't all about work. We are going to have fun today too!"

"What is it that you are going to make me do, exactly?"

"I just want a few photos, nothing dramatic and you can have complete control over wardrobe. We're launching some new products and I know that your image gets sales."

"Of course it does." Velvette took a sip from her drink. At least Mary-Lu had the decency to provide alcohol. "You get one picture, you only helped with one nail."

"Individual? Or group?"

"One of each." Sure, she was being generous, but this was a damn good mimosa. "But I get to keep whatever I pose with." Also, DamnWay had a great shampoo that she would never publicly admit to using (without proper payment of course).

"Sounds fair." Mary offered her hand to Velvette. "Deal?"

"Deal." Velvette shook her hand. There was a brief surge of energy that always accompanied a binding deal, and everything was back to normal. "So shall we get this over with?"

"Oh, we can't. Everyone isn't here yet." Mary chuckled to herself. "But I am sure they will be here shortly. Not everyone is as prompt as you. Or they were held up by all that chaos last night..."

"Chaos?" Velvette had certainly had a night to forget, and Vox had mentioned all the complaints, but a few glitched signals didn't typically cause that much chaos. Then again, this was Hell and a small inconvenience could really make people overreact (especially in the Doomsday District, bunch of drama queens.)

"I only heard about it from some of my girls. I was too busy trying to figure out why my fucking phone was acting like a piece of shit. I need my phone Velvette. My entire business is on my phone." Mary-Lu laughed but it sounded more angry than joyful. "I can't make sales or do team meetings without my phone."

"Right." Velvette stared into her glass for a moment. If Mary-Lu had been affected, it was easy to assume this spread all over the Pride Ring.

"I mean, I suppose you understand me more than most." Mary-Lu's singular eye was watching Velvette. Since she was associated with Vox it made sense that Mary would try and pump her for information. But even if Velvette had answers, she wouldn't share them. What happened at VoxTek stayed between the Vees.

"My phone is important." Velvette wasn't going to give her too much of a response. "If I didn't have it, Hell wouldn't know what to wear or what to think."

"You are truly a kindred spirit in that way." Mary turned her head right as the elevator door to the penthouse slid open again. "Hey hun! So glad you could make it!" Velvette turned around as well, her eyes widened as she saw none other than Rosie enter the room, smile plastered on her face. She seemed to be remarkably energetic- though that may simply be because she hadn't suffered the same rough night that Velvette had.

"Pleased as punch to be here!" Rosie left her parasol by the door. "Oh Velvette! I didn't know you were coming too!"

"I invited a few people. This is a big product launch. I know Mirabel told you all about it." Mary snapped and her red blazer clad employee poured another drink for Rosie. Velvette didn't know who exactly they were discussing, but she could assume it was a Cannibal. Velvette interacted with them as little as possible, for obvious reasons.

"She did! And she told me if I agreed to come, you could get us more of that tooth polish." Rosie accepted the drink, joining Velvette at the bar. The Cannibal Overlord took a small vial out of her pocket and added something red to her drink before taking a sip. Even when drinking she never lost that smile. Velvette could feel the bulging, reflective black eyes staring at her as she looked back at her phone.

"Tooth polish in three new flavors, actually, but I am spoiling the surprise." Mary was more relaxed around the Cannibals than Velvette felt someone with human flesh should be.

"Oh, that'll be such a treat to bring back to the others!" Rosie clapped her hands together in excitement. Mary looked briefly at her phone before gesturing for her bartender to make another drink before the elevator doors even whooshed open. If Velvette was thrown off by Rosie's presence, her jaw almost hit the floor as Carmilla walked in looking annoyed.

"Marie-Lu." Carmilla was about as soft and friendly as a cactus, and with that outdated hairstyle she sort of resembled one. She looked even more annoyed to be here than Velvette felt. Mary-Lu just smiled handing her a glass.

"Come! Sit! Have a drink!"

"Velvette, Rosie." If Carmilla was surprised to see them, she didn't show it. She sat on Velvette's other side.

"How the fuck did she draft you?" Velvette arched an eyebrow at Carmilla who simply ignored her in favor of downing the entire mimosa in one gulp. She looked... tired. It wasn't super noticeable, but up close, Velvette could tell. Probably up doing late-night weapons deals. It's not like most of Hell liked being up early. Often times Velvette would wake up just for a photo bragging about an early start to her day and then she would go right back to sleep.

"This is turning into a real girl's night!" Rosie seemed pleased to see Carmilla. "How ya been, Carm?"

"Rosie." Carmilla didn't really give Rosie much of an answer. She held out her drink and Mary-Lu's underlings refilled it without a word.

"What? I don't get a hello?" Velvette knew Carmilla's opinion on her, but that was no reason for the other Overlord to ignore her. Velvette thrived on attention, negative or not.

"Velvette." Carmilla's eyes narrowed.

"This is almost everyone!" Mary-Lu seemed incredibly pleased with her current companions. Velvette did have to wonder what strings he had pulled to secure a meeting with the crème de la crème of the Pride Ring. Sure Mary-Lu was an Overlord, but she wasn't nearly as well established as the others in the room. This would definitely be something Velvette would have to tell Vox. Hopefully it didn't result in him trying to one-up DamnWay in some over-the-top fashion that would result in Velvette having to entertain Rosie- or worse- Carmilla on her own turf.

"Damn, I way overslept." The door slid open one more time as Missi Zilla almost stumbled in. "I am still a bit hung over from last night." She looked the worst of any of them, but Velvette rarely knew Missi to be up this early.

"Missi! You made it! I am so glad all of you could come to my new product line photoshoot!" Mary-Lu ran over with a massive glass the size of her torso, filled with mimosa, in her arms. Missi grabbed the glass, seemingly pleased to see glassware in her size. (It was shocking Mary-Lu even had something like that, nevertheless, that she was able to lift it. She was stronger than she looked.) Missi gave a toothy grin, tail swishing. She downed the glass with ease, her eyes widening as she spotted the other Overlords sitting across from her. "There is still just one more..."

"Oh shit! Rosie! I saw you last night!"

"Oh yes! At the riot." Rosie gave a friendly wave.

"Riot?" Velvette leaned back on the counter, tapping her empty glass. It was instantly refilled. "Rosie, you never struck me as the riot type.

"Oh, who doesn't love a good riot now and then?" Rosie chuckled to herself. "Al and I were just in the right place at the right time to enjoy it."

"You both kicked respectable ass but you really have to learn to get in there. Staying on the outside of the mob prevents you from doing maximum damage." Missi waved the glass and Mary-Lu's underlings swarmed around her, lifting a giant pitcher to refill it without her having to ask.

"I was really only in it for the light snacks." Rosie reached into her bag, pulling out a little container filled with body parts. "Any of these belong to your people?"

"If they did, you can keep them. Trophies, snacks, who gives a shit. If they wanted to keep their fucking fingers, they would have fought harder." Missi didn't look nearly as off put by the container as Velvette felt- being next to it and all. It did not smell great.

"You two were at a riot?" Carmilla must have forgotten to bring any sense of fun to the little party. "Was it the one in my district? Because we agreed that-"

"Nah, I know the dumb treaty." Missi made a face, clinking her empty glass with her nail. The bartender ran over and quickly refilled her drinks.

"We were over by the cinema. I was trying to talk Al into seeing this absolutely delightful picture- but you know how he is about film. Won't see any talkies. Luckily this was a lovely silent film." Rosie shook her head. "Never did make it to the picture show. But you know how riots get. They can be quite time consuming."

"That's what makes 'em fun." Missi gave a toothy grin.

"Wait that's in our territory! What the fuck you two?" Velvette hadn't even realized there was a riot. It would never get close to Vox Tower with all the security he had in place, but still, Overlords shouldn't be fighting on each other's turf. "If you killed any of our guys-"

"It's a fucking riot I wasn't paying attention to who I was killing. Just how many." Missi didn't really seem all that deterred by Velvette's annoyance. "Twenty-five, by the way."

"Oooo, very nice." Rosie clapped her hands together. "I did see a lot of body parts just go flying in the center of that mob."

"What about you, Rose? What's your count?" Missi staggered over standing between Rosie and Carmilla, cutting the weapons specialists out of the conversation entirely with her body. Her tail nearly knocked Carmilla's stool out from under her. Carmilla stood, looking annoyed and walked over to join Mary-Lu.

"You know I don't keep track of that sort of thing. Riots are just a fun time. A good way to get some snack food since the angel meat is running out- it stays good forever, you know. But it's very popular."

"Ha, you're fucking gross, Rose. I love ya." Missi slapped Rosie on the back. Velvette didn't particularly want to hear about any of Rosie's "food", so she stood up as well.

"You both shouldn't have been fighting on our turf." Velvette would have to tell Vox about this part too. Just great. He was already paranoid, hearing the other Overlords were caught battling in his territory was going to make him a thousand times worse. The door codes were all changing again. (Maybe she should text Val and give him a heads up.)

"It wasn't like I went straight out into your territory looking for a fucking fight. I was at a party, but then the people started getting really antsy- something about their phones getting all fucked up. I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention, but I could tell the mob was getting ready to snap, so when all the people surged outward, I just kinda went with 'em. Next thing I know they are trying to knock down one of them big ol' towers that Vox has set up. But some of the other Sinners tried to stop 'em. Suddenly, it's a full out brawl!" Missi started punching the air, her tail thrashing back and forth, sending Carmilla's stool that she had abandoned, careening into Mary-Lu's window. It ricocheted right off, back onto the floor.

"I don't think any of the towers were taken down." Velvette was certain if they had been damaged, Vox would have known instantly and he wouldn't have been nearly as calm at breakfast.

"You're welcome." Missi grinned at Velvette who rolled her eyes.

"So sorry I'm late..." the elevator swished open again and Velvette saw the princess herself walk in, a tiny Sinner at her heels like a desperate puppy. "There is a lot of destruction today and the Doomsday District is nearly impassable."

"Charlie! Hey hun!" Mary-Lu handed her a drink. "And you brought our little sales associate with you!" While Mary was smiling, Velvette could see the irritation in her eye. She had been fake-nice enough to know the technique through and through. It figured Mary wasn't big on plus-ones. Still there was no way she'd go off on the Princess.

"Yeah, Mimzy really wanted to come along. Oh Rosie! Carmilla!" Charlie smiled cheerfully waving at the Cannibal and the soulless bitch, each in turn. "I didn't know this would be a group thing!"

"Surprise!" Mary-Lu clapped her hands together. "I am unleashing a new line of bags: Boss Bitch Bags. For the toughest, most commanding babes in Hell!"

"That's why you got all of us." Carmilla crossed her arms over her chest, careful not to spill her drink.

"That is such a great idea, Mary-Lu!" Mimzy, at least that's what Velvette assumed the little Sinner was called, spoke up. She had certainly never met the woman before. She was one of Charlie's desperate entourage. Throwing oneself at the Princess of Hell was a decent technique to assure one's safety. But that was really more for the weak. Velvette didn't need bigger names to bail her out.

"I know. And I am loving the enthusiasm Mimzy, honey-pie! But you need to stay out from underfoot or you might get crushed." Mary-Lu's sweet laugh did wonders to hide the obvious threat in her words.

"I am not sure I would call myself a 'Boss Bitch'..." Charlie wasn't as sold as her little cohort.

"Charlie! You are a business owner! You have your very own hotel where you makeover Sinners!" Mary-Lu put an arm around the Princess, pulling her into a forced little side-hug.

"Redeem. I redeem Sinners." Charlie's smile looked forced.

"Exactly what I said, sweetie. A makeover of the moral variety. I love it! You are such an inspiration for the women of Hell. You all are!" Mary-Lu finally released Charlie going back to the group. "So, I thought, who better to inspire the masses with this truly unique and trendy line of bags, than Hells most powerful, sensational, and sexy ladies!" Oof, she was laying it on real thick, especially since it was obvious no one was here by their own volition- except maybe Missi. But Velvette could assume each and every one of them was in a similar situation to herself. At least it was only handbags. And a line called: Boss Bitch was pretty on brand for Velvette.

"I mean... that does seem nice when you say it like that." Charlie scooted away from Mary-Lu and toward Rosie. It was a weird choice, but perhaps the princess was confident in the fact that she didn't taste very good.

"And I am donating some of the proceeds to help young Hellborn ladies!" Mary-Lu's promise earned her a rather skeptical look from the princess.

"I... no offense, I highly doubted that."

"It's true! We at DamnWay value putting back into our community!" Mary-Lu's smile widened.

"How much?" Velvette didn't believe it either. There weren't charities in Hell, for starters. The only ones she knew of were the ones Vox had made up so he could run telethons.

"The percentage is classified. If you want to know you could always join up!" Mary-Lu's forked tongue flicked out between her fangs as she gave her best, most charming smile. Charlie took a step back.

"No thank you!"

"Well, now that everyone is finally here! We can get started!" She snapped and more of the coat-wearing underlings came flooding in with bags in their arms.

"Again, really sorry about being late. I wasn't expecting things to be that destroyed." Charlie was too polite for her own good. And she was the princess, she was older than Velvette, and should be more than accustomed to the inconveniences that rowdy nights in Hell could leave for the mornings. It was the main reason why nothing was really scheduled before noon. Mary-Lu must have just missed that memo.

"I might have done some of that damage. Sorry not sorry." Missi grabbed a bag out of the arms of the Sinners holding it, it was the only one that matched her immense size. "There was a big riot. Lots of fun, you shoulda come!"

"There was a riot?" Charlie looked genuinely surprised. "Usually, they don't leave that much cleanup."

"Well, this one was fucking huge." Missi was on her... maybe sixth drink at this point. "I killed so many people you shoulda seen it!"

"That's..." Charlie looked incredibly uncomfortable. Perhaps, this whole affair was worthwhile after all just to watch the Princess squirm as she was forced to play nice with the other Overlords. "Nice."

"Well, if we are being technical," Mary-Lu picked up a handbag and handed it to Charlie, "there were fifteen different riots in Pride Ring alone. There were twenty recorded in total across the other rings."

"Bullshit." Velvette examined the bags in question and picked the one that was the least obnoxious. "You're a Sinner, you can't know what the other rings are doing." Vox knew, but Vox had spent years cultivating a network that crossed the rings.

"I have a lot of sources." Mary-Lu's smile widened. "Oh, what a great choice Velvette! It will really detract from that tiny bit of blood in your hair. Did you kill something on your way over?"

"I do not have blood in my fucking-" Velvette knew she had washed it all out. But Mary-Lu simply pulled a few strands toward Velvette and she saw a very small amount if congealed blood sticking them together. Velvette's eyes snapped to the blood then to Mary-Lu.

"Sorry hun, I could smell it."

"You don't even have a fucking nose."

"Neither do you." Mary-Lu's smile never wavered. "But if you want to be certain you get all those nasty blood spots out of your hair or clothes, we have a great line of products that is specifically for that! Blood is a real problem for a boss babe on the go. You gotta teach a lesson to some rowdy pests, but you also have to look sleek and hot for a meeting-"

"Don't pitch me, I'm only here because of that fucking nail." Velvette was never in the mood for one of these over dramatic presentations. If she wanted to hear a bunch of made-up bullshit about products that didn't work, she'd go to Vox. "The blood probably just dripped on me when I was on the way over." Or maybe she had missed a trace amount when she was cleaning it out of her hair.

"If it did, it was probably my fault." Missi sounded remarkably proud. "Like I said, I killed a whole lotta fuckers at the riot. You can ask Rosie."

"I did see a lot of body parts flying." Rosie confirmed with a giggle.

"Oh, you were there too, Rosie?" Charlie looked surprised.

"Missi and I ran into each other at the same riot. It was quite the fun time. Did Al not tell ya?" Rosie opened her little container and took out a pinky finger to munch on as the girls gossiped.

"Oh, no. Alastor just said you tried to force him to go to the picture show but you got side tracked." For a Princess, Charlie seemed to be remarkably okay with having Alastor slinking around doing the Devil knows what under her nose.

"It's a bit of a shame, he would really have enjoyed it." Rosie shook her head. "Next time though!"

"I'm surprised Alastor wasn't at the Hotel. Usually when our TV messes up, it's because he stands too close." The one called Mimzy finally spoke up. She had been clinging to Charlie like a parasite. "I just assumed everything was on the fritz because of him."

"Can we please just get started?" Carmilla had been sitting quietly, drinking her mimosa and watching the others chat. Velvette would have assumed those cold eyes would have been focused on her, however, Carmilla seemed to mostly be watching Rosie. "We are all very busy and I am sure we have more to do than sit around and discuss how terrible VoxTek is."

"Oh of course! Did you pick out your favorite bag?" Mary-Lu gestured to the remaining items and Carmilla picked the closest one to her. "Now I want one big shot of everyone together, and one of each of you separately. This is going to be huge."

"We'll see." Velvette examined her choice in bag, it wasn't something she would wear in public, but she was keeping it regardless, as per the terms of their deal.

The actual modeling part wasn't terrible, at least not for Velvette who was done with her individual shot in no time flat. One or two clicks with the camera and instant perfection. This wasn't her first gig. She knew the drill. Watching Charlie struggle was a show in and of itself. The Overlords, while not as skilled as Velvette, still knew how to model a product. Mary-Lu kept going to Charlie, correcting her pose, moving the bag, fixing her hair and clothes. Bloody hell, had the princess ever learned how to do this shit? Most marketable face in Hell and she was a disaster.

"Oh, come the fuck on," Velvette eventually reached her limit. She snapped her fingers, and Charlie's tacky red suit changed into a fashionable red dress. Velvette included beautiful jewelry and a glittering tiara as each of the accessories she made moved Charlie's limbs into a perfect pose.

"Ah!" Charlie seemed taken off guard as her clothes changed and her new accessories started pulling at her limbs.

"Don't fight it, princess. You are going to keep us here forever if you don't get your shit together." Velvette had things to do other than watch this- frankly, embarrassing- struggle.

"Perfect!" Mary-Lu's photographer quickly got the picture as Charlie finally relaxed and allowed Velvette to work her magic. "Now we can do the group picture!"

"Finally!" Missi jumped to her feet and the whole room shook.

"Sorry, everyone..." Charlie looked genuinely apologetic. Velvette rolled her eyes, giving a little scoff.

"You don't have to apologize. You're a fucking princess."

"It's no trouble, Charlie sweetie!" It wasn't shocking that Rosie would suck up to the Morningstars. "I wasn't the best at all this either!"

"Well, you need to fucking learn." Velvette struck her pose with the others. She looked over at Charlie and with a flick of her wrist the Princess was posed perfectly with the others.

"Thank you all so much!" Mary-Lu clapped her hands together with excitement. Once the picture was taken, it felt like a burden had been lifted off of Velvette. A favor had been repaid and Velvette no longer had to worry about Mary-Lu. "Feel free to take drinks for the road!"

"Fuck yeah! Load 'em up ladies! Start with the big glass and just keep filling 'em!" Missi slammed her massive hand on the counter. Velvette decided that Mary-Lu had dragged her here, so the least she could do would be to drink as much as she could on Mary's dime. So, she stood beside Missi as the DamnWay representatives struggled to fill as many glasses as they could while Missi kept drinking them. Velvette grabbed two for herself, before heading toward the elevator to get out.

"Velvette wait!" Charlie made a dash toward the elevator. Velvette looked in dismay at both her hands, each holding a drink making it impossible to press the door-close button. She lifted her foot trying to hit it, but it was too late. Charlie managed to slide in before the doors closed, dragging her little Sinner mascot with her. "Thanks for holding the elevator."

"You're the best Velvette." Mimzy gave her two thumbs up.

"Mmhmm." Velvette made a noise of confirmation, accepting her fate of being trapped- it took everything in her power not to roll her eyes. At least the ride would be short.

"Thank you," Charlie just had to make this more awkward and uncomfortable than it already was. "For helping me."

"Don't fucking thank me." Velvette took a sip from one of her drinks. If she had known she would be trapped in this literal Hell, she would have been pounding the drinks down like Missi. "We would never have gotten to leave if I hadn't done something. And unlike you, I have an important job."

"Yeah... okay." Charlie rubbed her arm, looking away. "Are you... gonna change my suit back?"

"No. You're a bloody princess and you look like a worn-down college professor, struggling for tenure, who uses slang like: 'down with the kids' unironically."

"She has a point," Mimzy seemed to share Velvette's outlook which was an almost pleasant surprise. (The key world being almost, because Mimzy didn't look like the trendy type of person whose opinions mattered. Still, it left Charlie outnumbered.) "I mean, I thought you were a bell hop for like a month."

"No, you didn't." Charlie had to do a double take. "You're the one who asked me if you could move in! You called us both small business owners."

"Did I? That doesn't really sound like me." Mimzy shrugged.

"You did. You definitely did..." Charlie looked at herself in the reflective elevator door.

"Keep the dress, and the accessories. You just owe me a favor." Well since she was trapped in this conversation, Velvette might as well make the most of it.

"But I didn't ask-"

"You needed my help with more than just the outfit. I helped. Now you have to help me with something-something small, of course- at a later date." At least Velvette wasn't leaving this place empty handed. Two mimosas and a favor from the princess wasn't a bad pull. Perhaps, despite the way this day had started, things were finally starting to look up.

"Fine." Charlie let out a little sigh. "But it's very small, and I reserve the right to refuse if the favor goes against my best interest."

"And you have to tell me what the favor is." Mimzy added, hands on her hips.

"No, Mimzy, I don't think that's necessary." Charlie was trying so hard to be polite. Velvette almost had to respect the princess for not drop-kicking the small Sinner into the sky (or rather, the apparent magical ceiling that existed in the sky.)

"But I love gossip!" Mimzy folded her arms, pouting.

"Gossip actually isn't nice. And I have been meaning to talk to you about some of your behavior regarding that at the Hotel-" Charlie started to talk, but the elevator came3 to a stop, saving Velvette the secondhand lecture.

"Wow, this has been just so fun, but" Velvette had to give the princess that she wasn't as naive as she came across. Setting up boundaries was important when it came to favors and deals. Else, you would get screwed over by the other party. The elevator doors opened and Velvette took another sip of her drink as she pushed her way out before Charlie. "I am afraid I have more important things to do. You know, literally anything else." Velvette didn't wait for Charlie to answer and she headed right toward the exit, out of DamnWay and onto the streets.

Finally. Relief. Velvette could enjoy the rest of her day with these two mimosas and maybe a relaxing massage.

"Velvette."

"Oh, come the fuck on!" She slowly turned to see Carmilla waiting for her at the exit. The fuck did that old hag want?

"Can we speak?"

"No."

"This is important."

"Still no."

"Is... Vox alright?"

"Bitch, I said no to talking. Are you going fucking deaf in your old age?"

"Vox, is he having some kind of issue?" Carmilla grabbed Velvette's arm, pulling her to the side.

"He's got plenty of issues. Issues with Alastor, issues with Val, daddy issues? I could go on." Velvette shrugged herself free of Carmilla's grip. "But that's all nothing new. And also, it's none of your goddamn business."

"This is serious Velvette." Carmilla's frown deepened. It's like she didn't even care how many wrinkles she was getting- not that it mattered. She was so old that Velvette assumed she was held together with spite alone. "Something happened last night and it has to do with Vox."

"Vox does lots of shit, Carmilla. I'm his coworker, not his bloody babysitter." Though sometimes it did feel that way. "If you have a problem, bring it up to him. He has a complaint box." That box led straight into a fire, but it did exist.

"Have you noticed anything... unusual?"

"If you're trying to get secret intel on VoxTek, you are doing an incredibly shitty job." Velvette had a completely flat expression as she took a sip of one of her drinks, maintaining eye contact with the Overlord in question.

"It's not about finding intel; I'm concerned. Can't you see that?"

"Yeah, that sounds incredibly likely." This time Velvette could not stop herself from rolling her eyes. "We Overlords are nothing if not a tight-knit community that relies on trust and the magic of bloody friendship. Forgive my skepticism."

"You're impossible, you know that right?" Carmilla glared down at her. Velvette grinned back up at her. "Last night something shook all of Hell and Vox might be at the center of it." As she was talking, Velvette started handing her one of the mimosas without a word. Carmilla seemed too wrapped up in her lecture to even notice. "And while you may not be concerned, I am- what are you doing?" By this point Velvette used her newly freed hand to pull out her phone.

@Radvelvetcakes: Stuck in a boring conversation with an actual dinosaur. #notyouMissi #sendhelp

"You know, if you're concerned about us, maybe you should follow me on social media. You know: Sinstagram, TikVox, Slither?" She put her phone back in her pocket, snatching her mimosa back. "Actually, given your age that might be asking too much. Do you have FamineBook?"

"This isn't something you would share on your socials, Velvette." Carmilla was only getting angrier and that brought a small amount of joy to Velvette who deserved at least that much after everything Carmilla had put her through.

"And it's nothing I could share with you either. You haven't exactly been forthcoming with information in the past, regarding...Say... the head of an angel?" She sipped her drinks as she watched Carmilla's face contort briefly into anger, before succumbing to defeat. "That's what I fucking thought." She smirked, sipping smugly from one of her glasses.

"Well, this has been an absolute waste of my time. I have more important Overlords with whom I must discuss these events."

"Oh gosh, my feelings! More important!? You don't mean that do you, gram-gram?" Velvette's tone was dripping with false offense as she pretended to swoon from the attempted blow to her ego. "You know that I'm important!"

"You act like a petulant, idiotic child. But you would be wise to take heed from those that have been here longer than you." Carmilla must have taken Velvette's sass as permission to go off on a totally dull and meaningless rant. Damn if Velvette had known this would have happened, she would have fucking bolted the moment Carmilla had mentioned leaving. "There is more out there than just Heaven and Hell. There are many things you don't-"

"Do you ever shut up? I'm asking for a friend."

"I tried. I really tried." And with that, Carmilla stalked out of the alley and off toward the entrance of Mary-Lu's little office building. (Probably to bother some other unfortunate Overlord.)

"Bye bitch." Velvette sipped at her drinks. So long as no one else decided to corner her for some sort of fucking hostage situation of a conversation, she should be fine to head back. (Half of her expected Missi or Rosie to be waiting down a dark alley, eager to waste her oh, so precious time.) Velvette had very little tolerance for others. Thankfully, she was able to waltz back to Vox Tower without anyone else stopping her with their petty problems.

She put in her private passcode for the door, having to punch it in with her elbow as her drinks still occupied both hands. The lights blinked red. Fuck. She had probably typed it in wrong. Ah well, easy fix.

Velvette tilted her head back and began chugging the first mimosa. She finished and threw the glass behind her, hearing it shatter with a satisfying crash upon the pavement. There. Now she had a free hand. She retyped the code, this time certain she had done it correctly. The lights blinked red again.

Sunnovabitch.

Velvette sighed, pulling her phone put and hitting the speed dial. There was ringing for a moment before:

"You've reached Vox, how can I help you?" That overly formal voice and tone was as unmistakable as it was forced.

"Oh, hey Vox. How are you?" Velvette sipped on her other drink, phone against her ear, looking up toward the top of the tower.

"Good...?" Vox sounded confused. Velvette didn't really call him just to chitchat. "How was um... your thing with Mary-Lu? That's where you were, right?"

"It was! So glad you remembered! It was big fun, Voxy-luv, you should really have been there. Lots of gossip and all that."

"That's... nice..."

"Oh, a real treat. I am just so happy you asked about it!"

"Is there a point to this, Velvette?"

"Just a small one." She took a sip, swallowed, and took a deep breath. "DID YOU CHANGE THE BLOODY DOOR CODES AGAIN!?"

"Ah fuck. I didn't send you the new one, did I?"

"You fucking think,"

"Sorry, sorry, I'll buzz you in. I can tell you in person." The door lit up green and Velvette opened it, walking inside. This was a private entrance, used only by the Vees. Thus, Vox only had to remember to give the code to two fucking people, but obviously that was asking too much.

"Do I need a new elevator key too?" Velvette reached the elevator at the end of the long, ornate hallway that should take her to the penthouse. But of course, as she pressed her key against the keypad, nothing was happening.

"...I can send the elevator for you." Electricity surged from the top of the tower and the doors swung open. Velvette didn't even bother trying to push the button. She sipped at her drink as the elevator rose at Vox's mental command. The doors opened once again and Velvette hung up her phone as she walked into their joint lounge. Vox wasn't there.

"Oi! Where are you!?" She shouted at the ceiling as she flopped down on the couch, drink in hand. "I need the bloody passcode, Vox!" Electricity crackled and a bolt hit the floor as Vox appeared, more cleaned up and put together than before.

"Sorry about the inconvenience, Velvette."

"You should be. How hard is it to fucking text me like: Hey Velvette, the new door code is 123456?"

"That's a terrible door code." Vox narrowed his eyes at her. "Also, I think the six number code is too easy to guess. I mean. We're in Hell, right? Everything is based on the number six. Too obvious."

"It's six fucking numbers. Aren't there like... infinite possibilities?" Velvette raised an eyebrow at him.

"Only a million, Velvette, don't be silly. So, I am going to change the combination to a seven-digit number. Seven, being a lucky number, can counteract all the bad energy coming from the walls." For a moment, the screen that made up Vox's face glitched. It was so brief that Velvette almost didn't notice, but the small waver, the tiny distortion in his voice cued her in to look more closely.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Velvette sat up, putting her glass down on the counter. Vox was a bit anal when it came to security, he always had been. But he was also an incredibly grounded person, especially for a Sinner. If he was superstitious at all, it mostly came out when he was manipulating those who were true believers.

"What I mean to say is," Vox pinched the screen between his eyes, it lit up under his touch. He seemed to have confused himself with his own rant. "It gives us ten million options rather than just one million. Buy us some time."

"Time?" Velvette squinted harder.

"Until I need to change it to eight." Vox chuckled to himself. "Now, here's the new code." He showed her a piece of paper with seven numbers scribbled on it. "Now memorize it and destroy the paper."

"Fucking what?" Velvette leaned back as Vox leaned forward.

"You can't trust anyone, Velvette."

"Are you going to do this to Val?"

"Val..." Vox went quiet for a moment, he pulled back. "I suppose I have no choice, as of right now."

"Vox, you're acting a little off... actually no. You're acting fucking weird. Maybe you need to take some time off." Velvette knew Vox would refuse, but Carmilla's words were sticking in her mind, despite all the effort Velvette made to forget them.

"I'm fine Velvette." Vox smiled at her. "Now memorize the code." Velvette stared at the paper for a moment before it burst into flame in her hand. She let out a scream of surprise. "Like that? Self-destructing paper! It's fun right!?"

"I wasn't done memorizing it you FUCKING PRICK!" Velvette had almost knocked her drink over and had that happened, heads would roll (or flop, since Vox's head was not shaped in a way that was conducive to rolling.)

"Fine, fine." He pulled out another piece of paper, writing on it, and handing it over. "Please memorize faster this time."

"Just let me keep the bloody paper, you asshole!"

"No. Too dangerous. We have to be safe, Velvette." Vox's face flickered for a moment as his voice took on that mechanical tone. He started coughing and his face returned to normal, he covered his mouth with his sleeve.

"Why don't I work on memorizing this, and you go to bed early. You look like shit." Velvette held the paper away from her in case it combusted again.

"Ugh, maybe a ten-minute power nap wouldn't hurt." Vox coughed harder.

"You do that." Velvette watched him head back to his room. She picked up her glass, fingers drumming against it as she looked after him. She pulled out her phone.

Velvette [2:30PM]: Val, is Vox acting weird?

Valentino [2:31PM]:  No more so obnoxious than usual lol. Did he change the door codes again?

Velvette [2:31PM]: How'd you ever guess?

Valentino [2:32 PM]:  Fucking dick. He's probably just in a bad mood. Maybe Alastor mispronounced his name during a fight or something. Just let him wear himself out.

Velvette [2:33 PM]: Fuck, you right.

She put the phone down, looking back at Vox's room. She went back to her phone, pulling up a different number.

Velvette [Unsent]: Hey, Carmilla... what was it you were trying to say earlier about Vox?

She stared at the text in silence before deleting it. Val was probably right. Vox had tantrums like this before... maybe not quite as severe but the point still stood. She wasn't that desperate, at least not yet.

Chapter Text

"Wow, this has been just so fun, but" The elevator doors opened. "I am afraid I have more important things to do. You know, literally anything else." And with that Velvette took off like someone had lit a fire under her.

"Well, that was rude." Mimzy scoffed, folding her arms. It was, but Charlie didn't really expect much from Velvette. Still, the fact that one of the Vees had actually helped her was not something to be overlooked. There was hope for each and every Sinner, in Charlie's mind, and Velvette was no different. The newest of the Vees may claim that her help was solely to wriggle a favor out of a Charlie, but the princess had taken careful note that Velvette hadn't even asked for anything until Charlie had thanked her.

"It wasn't very nice, no." Charlie shook her head. "But Velvette is busy." She stopped outside of the DamnWay building. She was hoping to catch Rosie, it had been a while since Charlie had seen her and she wanted to be sure the Cannibals had all gotten their gift bags. "And speaking of not nice, it has come to my attention that you like to start drama at the Hotel by making up wildly unfounded rumors."

"Sounds fake." Mimzy avoided eye contact by looking offended and turning away from Charlie. "But you know that Husk is having a torrid love affair with Cain from Cain Organics."

"That isn't true." Charlie happened to be one of the few who actually knew Cain. As it turned out, most of the Sinners knew almost nothing about him because of his anti-social ways. At the Hotel alone she had heard things from: He is secretly an Exorcist sending information up to Heaven; to he was on his way to marry Charlie's father and usurp her mother's throne.

"Oh, it totally is. I read it in an article." Mimzy insisted. She pulled out a magazine and on the dogeared page, was a badly photoshopped picture of Husk with a regular boulder and some roses. Charlie looked at the top of the page: "Gambling with your heart? Husk and Cain's Forbidden Romance." And under that was: An article by Mimzy.

"You wrote this."

"And it wouldn't have been published if it wasn't true." Mimzy insisted, ignoring Charlie's obvious skepticism. The princess flipped the magazine to the cover and tried not to roll her eyes.

"This is from Demonic Deets they publish literally anything. Last week there was an article stated that I was pulled out of a hat as a baby and that's how I was born."

"That sounds like something a hat-baby would say, I'm sorry princess, but news is news." Mimzy took her magazine back, clicking her tongue and shaking her head. "Plus, you can't argue with photographic evidence."

"That's just a rock in the picture." Charlie wasn't even going to address the poor photoshop attempts as that was the least of the problems at hand. "That wasn't my uncle. Mimzy," she sighed, unsure of why she was arguing this point, as the issue was mostly about the lying, but still it had to be said. "You know what Cain looks like. You're one of the few Sinners who has seen him in person." Cain famously did not like to interact with other Sinners, vastly preferring the company of Hellborns.

"I do?" Mimzy's eyes lit up. "How exclusive! Is he that little reddish thing that runs around and screams?"

"I..." Charlie opened her mouth and closed it again. "Okay I need a bit more detail in order to correct you because, no, it's definitely not Cain, but you either described Niffty or Angel's pig Fat Nuggets."

"Come on Charlie, I know who Niffty is." Mimzy looked appalled by the accusations.

"Okay then if it has hooves and is pink, and it's about this big," Charlie gestured with her hands to show the size. Mimzy had been at the Hotel for four months, but somehow Charlie was doubting her claim she knew who Niffty was. "It's Fat Nuggets. If it wears shoes, has one eye, and cleans: it's Niffty." Both were small, screamed, and in the red spectrum of colors.

"So, then who is Cain?" Mimzy had a blank look. To be fair, she hadn't really met Cain so much as she had just seen him in passing.

"Remember that night my dad dragged Adam out of the Hotel and Alastor came down with him and there was another guy? He was kind of average size, grey, horns, brown hair? Only one eye?"

"Hmmm..." Mimzy squinted.

"Remember? We were all on the couch? You had just come home from Gomorrah?" This really wasn't all that long ago, Charlie was a bit surprised Mimzy didn't remember more, as the whole night had been fucking crazy. Then again, it might not have been as memorable to someone like Mimzy who was only tangentially involved with the chaos. Maybe it was only weird for Charlie to see her father wrestling with Adam who was wrapped in a bedsheet and screaming for freedom because she knew her dad, and hadn't really seen him do anything quite so... strange. "He was wearing the black leather jacket?"

"Oh yes!" Mimzy's face lit up. "He was handsome! A man like that probably knows the right way to treat a lady!"

"That's my uncle." Charlie lips drew into a thin line. The idea of Mimzy throwing herself at her uncle was weird for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which was that her uncle had all the charm and charisma of a scorpion that was actively on fire. He was nice to Charlie and to her parents and that was about it. Any of the other royals that would attend her birthday parties would get five words out of him max, before he would melt into the floor to avoid conversation.

"Think of it! I could be your aunt!" Mimzy fanned herself with her hand.

"What about his very real love affair with Husk that you wrote about?" Charlie opened the magazine back to the article and pointed at Hell's most unconvincing photo.

"Oh foo!" Mimzy's bubble was burst and she gave a little pout. "Okay, so my sources might not be the most reliable."

"You have sources?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at her.

"Plenty! But I can't divulge them, journalistic integrity and all that."

"I thought you were a small business owner."

"I have lots of jobs! Being in DamnWay isn't cheap you know!" Mimzy didn't look upset, but rather, mildly annoyed by the question. Charlie actually didn't know the costs associated with DamnWay, but she could guess it wasn't cheap. Mary-Lu had quite the office, after all.

"But you enjoy it?"

"Oh yes! And thank you for taking me to this very important conference. I would have been invited on my own merits, you know, but my invite got lost in the mail."

"I thought they were emailed." That's how Charlie had gotten hers.

"Lost in the e-mail then. It's all the same you know." It really wasn't, but that didn't seem to matter. Mimzy was walking on air, despite the fact that her interaction with the DamnWay CEO had been minimal at most. Charlie didn't really get the appeal of it all, but it made Mimzy happy, and in the end that is what mattered most. When the Hotel patrons were happy, they were more open to Redemption activities! And despite Mimzy's ulterior motives, she had made some progress in that regard. Cherri had admittedly done better, but it wasn't a competition, and Cherri had Angel to help her. Having a friend already at the Hotel was a huge benefit when it came to making progress. Mimzy did have Alastor, technically, but Charlie didn't pretend to understand the nuances of their relationship. (Plus, when it came to Redemption Alastor really wasn't the best role model.)

"Oh Charlie! I thought you'd be gone by now!" Rosie called to her as she and Missi walked out of DamnWay's sliding glass doors. Rosie was helping Missi carry another of the giant glasses. Missi had one in each of her hands, and a third wrapped in her tail.

"Oh yes! We were leaving, just got distracted talking." Charlie smiled seeing Rosie. She was truly one of Charlie's favorite Overlords, given her help in fighting off the Exterminations. "But I was hoping I would catch you!"

"Me?" Rosie struggle to hold the glass as she put a hand to her cheek and batted her lashes playfully. "Well don't I feel special?"

"Look at you Rose!" Missi threw her head back and chugged one of her giant glasses. She tucked it under her arm, taking the giant glass from Rosie. "Moving up in the world! Chatting with a royal. Never pegged you for a Cannibal, Princess. You don't have the... you know..." Missi made a very poor attempt at lowering her voice as she leaned over to Charlie. "The look."

"Oh no. I am not." Charlie quickly shot that down. (Hopefully not too quickly, she didn't want to upset Rosie.)

"She's just a friend!" Rosie laughed. "She's not super into our cuisine. But she does love a good, violent brawl against Heaven!"

"Well... technically, actually: that's not exactly true-" Charlie didn't have a chance to finish as Missi let out a roaring laugh.

"Damn! I almost forgot that was you, Princess. That fight against those fucking birds was brutal."

"Birds...?" Charlie blinked. "You mean the Exorcists?"

"Fuck yeah I do!" Missi gulped down another glass, tucking it under her arms again, and used her free hand to pat Charlie on the back. The princess nearly stumbled from the force of the blow. "That shit was awesome."

"Well thank you for-"

"You shoulda come to my district! My girls live for a fucking fight. Next time though." Missi really didn't like to give Charlie the chance to finish her sentence. And now those words were stuck in her brain. Next time. Four months had already passed. Would they get the whole year till the next Exterminations? Or would the new leader of the Exorcists be flying down here in just two more months? How did any of that work? "That fight earned my fucking respect." Missi's voice snapped Charlie back to the present.

"We all just did our best. Had a nice time." Rosie smiled, seemingly unaware of any of the stress that Charlie was feeling. "We lost some good Cannibals, but we won in a different sense. We told Heaven to suck it." She said the words in the most, polite, sweet tone Charlie had ever heard.

"Yeah ladies!" Missi bent down, moving her giant glasses so they were wrapped securely in her tail. She wrapped an arm around Charlie and another around Rosie. "FUCKING SUCK IT HEAVEN!" She used both hands to flip her middle fingers upward toward the divine ball in the sky.

"Rosie!" Charlie jumped. Part of her expected Sera or maybe God to be calling directly to Rosie, ready to deliver divine justice. But no. It was just Carmilla. Charlie watched as Carmilla approached from an alleyway up ahead. Velvette appeared behind her, and quickly ran off in the opposite direction. Was Carmilla just meeting with each Overlord individually. Rosie's smile didn't waver as Carmilla strode toward her.

"Hey again, Carm! Funny seeing you again so soon!"

"Can we please speak for a moment?" She eyed Mimzy, Charlie, and Missi. "Privately?" Her tone was serious, but Rosie just giggled, she didn't seem all that bothered.

"Why not? It's been so long since you and I had a nice chat!"

"Thank you." Carmilla nodded her head.

"Sorry Missi, I am needed~" Rosie wiggled free of Missi's massive arm.

"Sure thing, Rose. We should go to another riot some time. Don't be a stranger." Missi let her arm drop. Rosie walked toward Carmilla.

"I'll see you later, Charlie honey."

"Oh, yeah... see ya!" Damn. Charlie still hadn't had the opportunity to ask about the gift baskets and to thank Rosie for the billionth time. Next time. She didn't expect Rosie to be so popular at these sorts of things.

"Thank you, Rosie." Carmilla gestured for Rosie to follow her and the two began to walk away. Missi finally lifted her weight off of Charlie's shoulder as she stood back up, stretching her arms out.

"Boo on those two."

"I wonder what that was about?" Charlie watched them leave. She wasn't as in tune with the Overlords as, perhaps, she should have been, given that she was a princess and they were a major part of Hell's volatile politics.

"Hard to say. Those guys have history together, dunno what it was, but I never got the impression it was good." Missi took her glasses back in her hands.

"History?" They hadn't seemed like they were on bad terms, at least, not to Charlie. Rosie seemed downright agreeable to going off with Carmilla. Surely if there was underlying animosity, Rosie would have resisted at least a little bit.

"Oh gosh!" Mimzy's eyes widened and Charlie could almost see the gears turning in her head. "I can't believe Rosie and Carmilla are ex-lovers!"

"N- no one said that." Charlie was quick to try and shut this down before it became a headline.

"I mean... fucking maybe." Missi shrugged. "I never could figure out what the fuck was going on between them."

"Would you like to be a source? I am a journalist as well as a DamnWay sales rep-" Mimzy turned to Missi and Charlie quickly pulled her to her side by the back of her dress.

"Mimzy, no."

"You are a feisty little thing." Missi laughed leaning down so Mimzy was at eye level. Mimzy backed up a bit. "I could eat you whole."

"Please do not do that." Charlie clapped her hands together quickly, only making Missy laugh harder.

"Don't you worry princess; I'm not looking to eat one of your little mascots or whatever they are."

"Patrons, actually. Hotel patrons... you know, for my Hotel that I run? It... um... it had a commercial and everything?" Charlie had been running the hotel for well over a year now and it still seemed as if no one really knew or cared about what she was trying to do. At least her dad seemed to believe in her, at least a little bit. He was letting her help with Adam after all. Though the lessons were typically very short because her dad only liked to bring Adam around when no one else was at the Hotel. Redemption was actually lot harder when Adam wasn't around full time, and the times she could work with him were often cut short.

"I will be honest, I thought you were doing like an underground fight ring. My money was on the chick with the bombs." Missi didn't seem all that perturbed by the correction.

"Nope. It's a hotel. We redeem Sinners so they can go to Heaven."

"Oh shit, does it work?"

"I mean..." Charlie didn't want to lie, "I think it will."

"So, I could go up there and become an Exorcist? Damn, that's a pretty sweet gig."

"T... that's not exactly the point."

"I knew I liked you, Princess. You got some good ideas. We'll chat more later. But I gotta head back to my district. Don't be a stranger!" Missi slapped Charlie on the back once more before taking off running back toward her area of Hell. The ground trembled with every thundering step.

"She seems nice." Mimzy watched her go without much of a reaction.

"Yeah, that was certainly... interesting..." Charlie craned her neck to see if she could catch a glimpse of Carmilla and Rosie, but she wasn't sure where they had gone off to. She liked both of them, they had each been instrumental in the defeat of Adam and the thought of them in some kind of argument concerned her. (But Carmilla had not seemed angry, and Rosie had been far from concerned.) "I hope everything is alright..."

"I mean, it's Hell." Mimzy shrugged. "Is anything ever alright? No. But you make the best of it. I use DamnWay products and gambling to cope. You use positivity and denial."

"I don't think I would say I was in denial per say..."

"Oh honey..." Mimzy patted Charlie on the arm. "What do you say we go back to the Hotel and brag about all the important people we saw today."

"Or we could just go back and tell our friends about our fun adventure!" Charlie tried to rephrase Mimzy's idea in more of a positive light. It was a work in progress, all of this was a work in progress. But she had her father's support. Even Adam seemed more open to the idea, though he was hot and cold with how he reacted. She would really need to work with him... more, and for longer periods of time to get a better hold on how he was feeling about her concept overall.

"I'm still gonna brag." Mimzy put her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest.

"Just think it over." Charlie sighed as she started making her way back toward the Hotel. Her day had certainly gotten an interesting start. It had been difficult even reaching the DamnWay building, the Doomsday District had been a fucking nightmare to traverse. Usually, it was a little inconvenient if something had worked the Sinners up into a frenzy, but this was worse. Perhaps it was just that Hell hadn't quite repaired itself as quickly as it typically did. It was just something that seemed so natural to Charlie as it was something that had been a constant since she could remember. Despite all the destruction, all the devastation caused by the Sinners, Angels, or Hellborns- Hell repaired itself. It was a simple, innate process. (The buildings and Sinner made structures were not repaired by Hell. That fell on the Sinners themselves. But things that her family had made, roads, landscape, even certain plants- would regenerate naturally over time.) To see it staggering was... concerning.

"It's such a hassle walking to and from the building." Mimzy wasn't exactly thrilled with any kind of long, tedious travel. From the looks of it, Hell's repair was almost finished. This wasn't the first time Charlie had noticed it being slower over the last few months, but this was by far the most obvious example. "Once I reach Premium Jade VP, Mary-Lu basically buys me a house. So, then I won't have to walk all this way just to see her!"

"That... seems a little too good to be true, doesn't it?" Charlie did want to believe in meritocracy, but in Hell it was incredibly unlikely.

"It's part of the compensation plan, you really should join under me, Princess. You would have such a big market that you could climb the ranks in no time."

"I won't be joining DamnWay, Mimzy, but thank you for yet another offer." Charlie gave her a sweet smile, Mimzy would pitch Charlie once or twice a week. But that was a small price to pay for one more chance at redeeming a Sinner.

"Your loss." Mimzy had to step out of the way as a Sinner ran screaming between them. That was par for the course when it came to the Doomsday District, so Charlie didn't really react outside of giving a friendly little wave that was completely missed by the panicked Sinner. "Watch where you're running, ya cad! You almost trampled me!" Mimzy, on the other hand looked annoyed.

"I am sure it was not meant maliciously." Charlie tried to calm her, but quickly picked Mimzy up as more Sinners scrambled past them, all in a bit of a fit.

"THE END IS NEAR!" And as quickly as they came, they were gone. Finally, a sense of normalcy had overtaken Charlie's unease. The Doomsday District Sinners were skittish at best, and that was putting things politely. Just seeing the princess was enough to cause a panicking mob to flee. Not that Charlie had ever given them reason to flee, but that was irrelevant. Her position alone was seen as a threat.

"Your end is near if you don't watch it!" Mimzy waved her fist at the vanishing mob as they fled and Charlie put her back down on her feet. "Honestly, the nerve of some people." She dusted off her dress.

"I'm just glad you weren't hurt." Charlie let out a breath.

"Oh please, if anyone was gonna get hurt. It would be those assholes." Mimzy waved off her concern.

"Let's just be careful." Charlie kept walking only to turn the corner and see none other than Vox standing in the Doomsday District looking at a completely decimated VoxTek store. He didn't seem to notice her as she approached. "Vox?"

"What the f-" he turned, spotting Charlie and instantly changed his expression to a wide, toothy smile. "Princess! How are you dear?" His entire demeanor shifted, back straight, chest puffed out, grinning from one side of the screen to the other.

"Um... hey, Vox, does Zestial know you're here?" Charlie was a bit taken aback, as Overlords were typically respectful of one another's territory. (That, and Vox looked like utter shit. Despite his charming smile and clean, well-pressed suit, he looked like he hadn't slept in days.)

"He does." Vox scoffed a bit at the mention of the other Overlord. "I just wanted to see the damage for myself." He gestured to what remained of the store in question. Charlie looked over at it as well. All the screens were smashed, there was still blood caked on the walls, the building itself was mostly intact, but everything inside was completely destroyed and going to fall on Vox to fix.

"Does this happen often?" Charlie couldn't really imagine that the Doomsday District was a super profitable location for easily breakable items.

"Usually like once a month, but it's been getting more frequent and a lot worse. I am starting to think the sales aren't worth it." Vox had his hands on his hips, surveying the damage. "I might just cut my losses and close this whole location."

"That's sad..." Charlie knew how important the vPhone was to most of Hell's population. Alastor hated the thing, but he hated literally anything Vox made so Charlie tried not to take his opinion into account when it came to technology.

"Yeah, can you imagine storming this place and not looting?" Mimzy clicked her tongue in disappointment. "That's just wasteful."

"Who are you?" Vox looked down at Mimzy with the same expression he might have if he were looking at a particularly annoying insect.

"Mimzy, the Princess's best friend!" Mimzy put an arm around Charlie. (Or rather, around Charlie's upper legs as that seemed to be as high as she could reach.)

"Oh. My apologies then." Vox's smile instantly returned. "The technological outages last night seems to have just put me in a bad mood. Hopefully you weren't too impacted, your highness?"

"I was asleep." Charlie assured him. She hadn't slept great admittedly, but she had missed all the chaos. She didn't bother correcting Mimzy. She liked to think of all the Hotel patrons as her friends, that much was true. And it did stop Vox from being rude to Mimzy. Politeness was a positive trait, even if it was superficial. (And with Vox, pretty much everything was superficial. Charlie wasn't that naive.)

"Well good, then at least I haven't caused you any inconvenience." Vox looked back at the mess for a moment before grabbing his phone. "You've reached Vox, how can I help you?" He muted the phone before turning to Charlie. "So sorry, one moment princess this is important."

"Oh of course!" Charlie hadn't really been expecting to have a full-out conversation with Vox, she had just been stopping out of curiosity more than anything.

"Good...?" Vox sounded confused as he talked to whoever was on the other line. Charlie tried not to eavesdrop as that was rude. But Vox was standing close enough that she could clearly hear his side of the conversation. "How was um... your thing with Mary-Lu? That's where you were, right?" Oh. He was talking to Velvette, most likely. Charlie doubted he was on a chatting basis with any of the other Overlords that had attended Mary-Lu's little gathering. "That's... nice." Vox sounded really puzzled by the call. "Is there a point to this, Velvette?" So, Charlie had been right about who was on the other line. "Ah fuck." Vox's whole face fell and for a moment Charlie saw real exhaustion in his expression. "I didn't send you the new one, did I?" Vox rubbed his eyes with the hand not holding the phone. "Sorry, sorry, I'll buzz you in." He looked over at Charlie beside him. "I can tell you in person." His eyes glowed for a moment as his focus seemed to be elsewhere. He took note of Charlie again and tried to clear his throat, straightening up a bit. But instantly his expression fell again. "... I can send the elevator for you." He put the phone away. Sighing heavily. "Apologies, again, your highness. However, duty calls."

"It's fine, Vox." Charlie gave him a little wave trying to reassure him. "Try and get some rest okay?"

"Rest?" Vox laughed. "I assure you, your highness, I am quite well rested and alert!" He closed his eyes, his body crackled with electricity for a moment, before it stopped. He started coughing into his sleeve. He cleared his throat, shook himself, and then his body turned to electricity and he was gone.

"Wow he looks ready to fucking die, doesn't he? You think the Vees are looking for a replacement?" Mimzy looked after him with curiosity.

"I mean... he didn't look that bad. He just had a rough night with all the technical issues, that's all." Charlie had noticed his fatigue, but he didn't look nearly as bad as Mimzy was describing. "And I thought you were going to be under Mary-Lu, not join the Vees."

"Every girl needs a good backup plan. You know, in case something happens to the company."

"Isn't Redemption your backup plan?" Charlie wasn't so bold to assume that Mimzy was making Redemption her priority. After all Charlie had seen her participation in Hotel activities. She was no Pentious. (The thought of Pentious weighed heavily on Charlie's heart. He had made so much progress, and it was all cut so short.)

"It's like... plan C or D... or like Q. But it's definitely a plan." Mimzy pulled herself over the broken window into the abandoned VoxTek store. "Now come on and let's see if anything worth stealing survived!"

"Mimzy no!" Charlie quickly hopped over the broken glass, through the shattered window in pursuit of Mimzy, who- for such a small Sinner- could really move when she wanted something.

"Oh, come on! Free shit is free shit! And if there's extra. We could resell them!" Mimzy seemed to notice Charlie's disapproving expression because she rolled her eyes. "And ya know, put the proceeds back into the Hotel or something. We call it a Fundraiser! Then it's not stealing and reselling, it's: Charity!"

"No." Charlie sighed a little. She really didn't think there would be anything left for Mimzy to steal, but that didn't mean she wanted the Sinner pawing through shattered glass. And on the off chance that she did find something, it should be returned to Vox anyway.

"Where's your sense of fun?" Mimzy gave a little huff. "He's closing the location anyway, right?"

"He was only thinking about it."

"This could help the Hotel."

"It really won't." Charlie didn't actually like being inside the abandoned store. The flickering lights and shattered glass were nothing new. She was Princess of Hell. She had clawed her way through plenty of destroyed buildings. Not so much during her childhood as her parents were fairly protective of her, but as an adult, navigating through destruction was nothing new. Still. Something about this store, in particular, was making her skin crawl. At first it was difficult to tell why she felt so unsettled... but as she looked around, her eyes adjusting to the sporadic lighting, she realized the bloodstains she had noticed earlier, were not the random splatters she had once assumed them to be.

It was writing.

Did you hear that?

The question was written all over the walls in different handwritings... even different languages. (Charlie, of course, was able to understand any human language- it was the gift of being the Devil's daughter. The Tower of Babble didn't really affect her ability to communicate.) Even this wasn't all that strange for the Doomsday District. Bloody writing on the walls was almost a part of the atmosphere. But typically, the writing was something more akin to: The end is nigh! We're all doomed! Or: It's the end of days! This was a bit off-brand for the doomsayers.

The writing was clearly tilted all of it leading in the same direction, combining in one specific point on the ceiling. Charlie followed the writing with her eyes to where it converged, the letters morphing into something unrecognizable as they drew close to that center point. The words almost looked more like... symbols?

The edges of Charlie's vision started to distort, just slightly, as if someone were burning the edges of a film. It was almost unnoticeable at first, but the closer Charlie looked to the center of the writing, the worse the sensation got. There was a faint ringing in her ears, the distortion became worse, bleeding into the rest of her vision. The text became completely incoherent, the ringing slowly getting louder.

"Ugh, there is literally nothing here that wasn't destroyed or stolen." Mimzy's voice broke through the sound and Charlie was finally able to blink her eyes and shake her head. "Guess I wasn't the only one with a good idea."

"It looks like it was mostly destroyed." Charlie's mouth was dry, her tongue felt almost swollen in her throat. "I hope no one was too hurt."

"Judging by all the blood, I'm assuming multiple people were incredibly hurt. But they're Sinners, sweetie, they'll be just fine!" Mimzy chuckled almost as if telling a funny story. She put her hands on her hips, giving one last look over the destruction. "Well, this was a fucking waste."

"Please, can we just leave now?" Charlie felt ice under her skin, the hair on the back of her neck was standing on end. There was an uncanny sense of dread that had settled heavily into the pit of her stomach.

"Yeah, what a bust." Mimzy shuffled some of the glass around with her shoe as she examined the last bit of the store. Charlie felt a pressure in her chest as Mimzy walked beneath the ceiling where the writing merged. Charlie opened her mouth to speak, however, Mimzy stopped on her own, shivering. "Fuck it, let's get outta here." She rubbed her ears shaking herself.

"Thank you." Charlie couldn't leave fast enough. Her eyes traveled along the writing, one last time, the ringing started in her ears as she felt almost drawn to look back. But she stopped herself. She already had a rough start to the morning; she would feel a lot better if she got back to the Hotel. She could bake some cookies! Surely her friends would need a pick-me-up if last night had been so intense!

"Between you and me, Princess, that place gave me the creeps." Mimzy clambered back through the window with Charlie close behind. "You can tell Velvette didn't help at all with that design."

"I mean, it was just an electronics store, I don't think that's something Velvette usually oversees." Charlie didn't know as much about the Overlords as, perhaps, she should given her position. But working with Alastor was probably a good place to start. And she knew Cain. Cain was the first Overlord, after all. So that probably counted. (Though she knew Cain as more of a fun uncle figure, and hadn't really seen him in a political light- but the point stood that she knew him. And it wasn't like Cain interacted with the other Overlords anyway.)

"That is something I can suggest when Vox dies and I join the Vees." Mimzy patted Charlie on the arm.

"I don't think Alastor will want you to join the Vees." Charlie could think of a plethora of reasons as to why Mimzy wouldn't join the Overlord trio. But that was the first one that came out of her mouth. Mimzy was Alastor's 'friend' after all. (At least that was how it was presented to Charlie.)

"Are you kidding? If it meant Vox died? He would love it!"

"Vox isn't going to die."

"You don't know that."

"It's not nice to say Vox is dying, Mimzy."

"But it is nice to publish an article about it!"

"No! No, it's not." Charlie knew enough to know that any sign of weakness could cause a multitude of issues for Hell's already unstable political climate. While Charlie didn't love Vox- or really have any opinion on him outside of using his apps and technology- she didn't want to see any of her people getting hurt and a turf war was never pretty. "So, why don't you write an article about something else instead?" Mimzy looked thoughtful for a moment, contemplating Charlie's suggestion.

"You're right."

"Thank you." Charlie let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"The article about Carmilla and Rosie's tragic romance will sell way more copies. And then I don't have to deal with Vox's stupid lawyers." Mimzy seemed to be speaking from experience. "He does not like it when I write about him."

"I am not sure anyone appreciates being written about in a gossip magazine." Charlie tried to reason with Mimzy. This might be a good opportunity for a lesson, even a small one, about empathy. "Especially when it's something negative. How would you feel if someone made up things about you and published them for all of the Pride Ring to read?"

"Free publicity. I would be flattered."

"You could write something about the Hotel." Charlie suggested.

"I have been! All about the spicy love-lives of the other patrons. You saw my earlier article."

"I sure did..." Charlie gave a soft sigh of defeat. "I was thinking something along the lines of how we help Sinners be better people. It might get us more patrons!" She wasn't really sure how many people read that trashy magazine, but Charlie would try anything to spread the word. Once she proved the Hotel worked, she had no doubt that Sinners would be lining up in the streets. But it was a slow process, and the earlier the Sinners started, the further they could be in their progress by the time that Charlie had her definitive proof.

"That feel-good fluff isn't news, honey." Mimzy patted Charlie on the arm as if apologizing to her answer.

"Princess?" A voice distracted Charlie from her brick wall of a conversation with Mimzy and Charlie realized that Zestial had almost materialized in front of them. (He did move rather silently.)

"Oh! Zestial! Hi!" Charlie wasn't sure why she was so surprised to see him, given that she was literally standing in his district. But the suddenness of his appearance had caught her off her guard. (She was probably still shaken up from the ruined store.)

"How fair thee, your highness?" He gave an elegant, fluid bow.

"I am well. Thank you." Charlie returned the bow with a curtsy of her own. Zestial was a bit old fashioned (and that was putting it nicely).

"I seeth thee has't new robes. 'Ti's not thy usual compliment extern."

"Oh no, it really isn't my usual look." Charlie laughed, rubbing the back of her (still expertly styled) hair. "Velvette sort of... helped me with my wardrobe." That was the simplest and nicest way of phrasing it.

"Velvette..." two of Zestial's glowing green eyes narrowed and the other two widened in a bemused look. "I shouldst has't known. You behold lovely, dear princess."

"Aw, thank you!" It was different, but different wasn't always a bad thing. And Charlie liked to hold to the idea that at least a small part of Velvette helped her to be nice. Maybe it was deluded to think that she was being anything other than selfish, but Velvette hadn't actually asked Charlie for the favor until after Charlie had thanked her.

"Princess, I pray the question is not perceived with mal-intent, prithee, what brings thee here?"

"Just passing through." Charlie hoped she hadn't given Zestial any reason to be suspicious of her. She had caused a bit of commotion just by walking around the Doomsday District, but it was hard not to, in her defense. Even as she just stood talking to Zestial on the street, a Sinner passing by flung themselves through a solid window with a terrified shriek, shattering it.

"Ah, yes. Apologies for the chaos, your highness. We hadst a particularly... rowdy night."

"Yeah, I heard. I saw Vox here earlier." Charlie was almost hesitant about bringing up the other Overlord on the off-chance Vox was lying about having Zestial's permission to be in his district. However, if Vox was lying, Charlie felt Zestial should still know he was here. Oh fuck- she hoped she wasn't starting some sort of new turf war.

"Ah yes," thankfully, Zestial seemed well aware of the other Overlord's visit. "Surveying the damages. We has't did discuss the possible complete closure of his location here due to frequent... incidents."

"That store was pretty messed up." Charlie thought about the ringing in her ears, the way her vision seemed to blur and distort when she looked at the walls. She shivered. "It might be for the best."

"Princess, thee behold as if't be true thee has't seen an unholy apparition."

"I mean we're in Hell. We're all unholy apparitions if you think about it." Charlie gave an awkward laugh. She really needed to work on her poker face. Zestial had read her expression so easily. (Though Zestial was one of the Overlords her family was on better terms with, from what she could recall. She didn't know as much as she should about her place in Hell's hierarchy.)

"Forsooth, 'tis true I supposeth." Zestial gave a small chuckle, but Charlie had a feeling it was more out of a desire to appease her, than it was out of any sense of genuine amusement.

"Hey, what exactly happened last night?" Charlie had heard tidbits from the Overlords that Mary-Lu had drafted into her little photoshoot. But it might be nice to get another perspective.

"A riot." Zestial didn't sound all that surprised by her question. "One of many across Hell from what I knoweth. They hath seemed centered 'round VoxTek locations. Perhaps a new vPhone dropped?"

"No, I definitely would have known if there was a new edition." Charlie shook her head. She wasn't as big on social media as some of her friends, but there was no way she would have missed a vPhone drop. When those came about, every single platform from TikVox to Slither was stuffed to the brim with annoying ads about all the new features.

"Then I knoweth not, princess." He gave a small shrug of his shoulders.

"I just hope no one got too hurt. There was a lot of writing in blood on the walls..." Charlie knew Sinners would regenerate eventually, but that didn't mean she wanted them to get hurt in the first place. They were her people, after all.

"Ah yes... those gents shall doth yond when a feeling of great... paranoia befalls them. Yond is to sayeth, once a day at the very least."

"Oh, well that makes me feel a little better." Charlie let out a sigh of relief. At least the bloody writing was normal. If she could coax a Doomsday District resident into her Hotel, that would be the first habit they would need to work on fixing. "Because it gave me a headache when I looked." She let out a relieved laugh. Zestial's expression changed, only for a moment he looked... concerned? Maybe Charlie had just imagined it.

"Aye, it doest... occur. Tis nothing with which thee shouldst concern thyself. But bid me, Princess? Has't thee seen Carmilla about?"

"Last I saw her; she was talking to Rosie." Charlie wasn't that surprised he was asking about Carmilla. Zestial and Carmilla has been allies for as long as Charlie could remember.

"Rosie," his eyes narrowed for a split second before his default expression returned. "Very good. Alas, I am afraid I wilt taketh mine leave. Doth be careful, Princess. And if thee runneth into ado in the Doomsday District, summon me, and I will gladly assist."

"Oh, yeah. Thank you." Charlie gave another curtsy as Zestial took his leave, swooping past her, into the ever-present shadows. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed as if he was heading in the direction of the ruined store.

"I didn't understand a word that guy said." Mimzy watched him go. "But damn if he didn't sound charming."

"He's kinda old fashioned." Charlie didn't really have an issue understanding him, but she wasn't surprised others might. Many of the older Sinners- her uncle included- adapted their dialect as languages evolved. However, Zestial had made the conscious decision to keep his speech (mostly) unchanged.

"Is he single?"

"I have no idea." Charlie barely knew about the political relationships between the Overlords, the intrapersonal aspects of their lives was completely unknown to her. She couldn't even look up an answer as news on the Overlords was overflowing with gossip just as unfounded as the stuff Mimzy made up. The Seven Deadly had a similar hoard of gossip articles, her dad- especially- suffered from an influx of made-up bullshit that would circle around Hell. Even Charlie would see the occasional article or drama video about how she was involved I'm a love affair with someone she had never met before. That came with the territory of being a royal in Hell.

"I bet I could make a great second in command for a guy like that." Mimzy looked thoughtful. "He looks like he knows how to treat a lady with respect."

"I thought you were joining the Vees or taking over DamnWay." Charlie didn't know why she was asking, as none of these seemed like likely options. And really Mimzy should have been putting her focus in Redemption, but that would come with time. Charlie had no doubt once Angel was Redeemed and she had solid proof of the Hotel's success, that Mimzy would immediately refocus her energy to make it into Heaven.

"Options, Princess. A girl needs to keep her options open."

"Right, well I think your best option is Redemption with the Hotel."

"That's just because your bias. I get it. You have a pet project. I have them too." Mimzy patted Charlie on the arm again, this time looking almost empathetic.

"Yeah... thanks." Charlie wasn't really sure how to react to Mimzy's new-found understanding. Unfortunately, she didn't have a lot of time to process the exchange as she heard a loud sound from behind her. She turned to see smoke wafting up in the direction from which she had just come. She should keep going, but curiosity had been her vice as of late, and she found herself walking quickly toward the billowing grey cloud.

"Wait! Where are we going?" Mimzy almost fell as she scrambled to follow Charlie. "You can't leave me here!"

"I wasn't going to." Charlie assured her as she helped Mimzy get steady on her feet before walking back toward the source of the noise. "I just wanted to be sure everything was okay."

"It's Hell is it ever okay?" Mimzy had to really hurry to keep pace with Charlie's much longer stride. Charlie didn't really give her an answer as she came upon the source of the smoke. The VoxTek store in which they had been standing only a half hour or so before, was now up in flames. Zestial stood in front of it, watching the fire blaze causing his already long shadow to look enormous as it fell over the building behind him.

"Zestial!?" Charlie called to him uncertainly as he seemed rather focused on the flames. He didn't respond for a moment, all four of his eyes narrowed as firelight illuminated his slender face. Charlie waited a moment longer before speaking again. "Zestial, what happened!?"

"Ah, Princess! Seeing thee again so soon tis almost comical."

"Did... did you blow up the store?" Charlie had a good feeling that she knew the answer, but she had to be sure.

"Aye." Zestial's gaze went back to the flames. "The shoppe did need to be destroyed. I hast nary a choice in the matter."

"What the fuck!?" There was a crackling sound as the air surged with electricity. Vox materialized in a flash, looking like he had left in a hurry. "Zestial!?" He turned to face the other Overlord."

"How fair thee, Vox?" Zestial smiled at him, seemingly unconcerned with Vox's apparent distress. (Charlie assumed Vox had been sleeping prior to his arrival. He looked far more disheveled than she had ever seen him. Vox always seemed to take the utmost care of his appearance.)

"How fair- are you fucking kidding me!? My store is on fire!" Vox gestured to the flames and Zestial turned his head, smile widening visibly.

"Aye. 'Twas by mine own hand."

"WHY!?" Vox took a deep breath, trying to visibly calm himself. "We had an agreement, Zestial. Remember? We shook on it and everything."

"Thy shoppe wast endangering mine own people."

"It's a fucking store! The only danger it posed was to their wallets. Jesus fucking Christ what's wrong with you!?" Vox had a hand on the side of his monitor shaped head as he surveyed the rising flames with obvious dismay in his expression.

"Nay." Zestial's eyes narrowed as he looked back at Vox. "Thou art falsing."

"You know?" Vox turned to look back at him, his expression going from shock to annoyance. "For once in my life I'm not. I'm telling the goddamn truth. It was literally just a store."

"Coystrill! Yond shoppe was brimming with dark charm!"

"YOU THOUGHT THE INTERNET WAS A FUCKING EVIL SPELL, YOU ANCIENT PIECE OF-" Vox was angry enough that the crimson blood was starting to drip out of the corner of his mouth. He stopped himself mid rant, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, Zestial," he put on the most unconvincing, sleazy smile that Charlie had ever seen. "I am just a little overwhelmed right now. We're on good terms, remember?"

"We were. However, I doth not associate with those that bring the Eldritch to mine doorstep." Zestial stood firm, making unwavering eye contact with Vox who sighed, massaging the top of his screen, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I didn't graduate from an Ivy League school to put up with bullshit from a man who thought a Polaroid camera would steal his essence." He was grumbling quietly, but Charlie could hear him so she had no doubt Zestial heard as well. Vox finally looked up. "It was a phone store."

"It brought paranoia and ruin onto mine people."

"It's the fucking Doomsday District!" Vox was becoming increasingly frustrated and Charlie could see it in his body language as he turned away from Zestial taking a few steps and finally turning back. "Paranoia and ruin is literally your brand!"

"Thee shouldst be wary of thy temper. I tooketh behoveful actions to assure the District's safety."

"You are making it very hard not to freak the fuck out on you right now. I hope you know that." Both of Vox's eyes were narrowed, he was frowning, arms crossed over his chest, jaw clenched.

"Hey now," Charlie wasn't about to be witness to a brawl between Overlords. The Doomsday District had taken enough of a hit last night, they didn't need any more damage and a full out fight between Zestial and Vox might level the place. "Everything was already destroyed inside the store, right?" She tried her best to downplay the raging inferno to her left.

"That was true." Vox replied. He and Zestial were still glaring each other down without much relief.

"And you just told me you were thinking of closing the store!" Charlie was making small amounts of progress. She could turn this into a lesson later on the power of de-escalation.

"That was a passing comment, not a fucking permission slip for this shadowy technophobe to nuke my goddamn building! That shit is expensive to build!" Vox's fists clenched a little tighter.

"Okay, I get that!" Charlie scooted in between the two, holding out her hands to keep them separate. "Zestial, maybe apologize for burning down Vox's expensive store."

"Nay."

"And he should have to pay me back for the damages." Vox either didn't hear Zestial's refusal, or simply didn't care. (Which was a far more likely option.)

"Now wait a second," Charlie was starting to worry that the situation was getting worse, "you also had a technological failure last night that did incite a riot in Zestial's territory. I am certain the damages were not cheap for him either."

"Tis true." Zestial looked quite satisfied with Charlie's assessment.

"Yeah, but that wasn't my fucking fault! I am looking into last night's incident." Vox protested. "it's the fucking Doomsday District anyway! You could drop a fucking hat and start a riot!"

"Right! I know that." Charlie had no idea if that was true or not, but she would just have to accept it at face value. "But there was damage nonetheless. So why don't you both just apologize to each other and try and work out something new? Maybe a fire proof store?"

"I cannot allow those who partake in such abominable magics to spread their dark intent across mine own realm."

"You thought the fucking rotary phone was a magical implementation of great evil! You called Thomas Edison a witch!" Vox was at his wits end.

"He was a witch." Zestial's smirk made it impossible to tell if he was being honest in his grievances or was simply just fucking with Vox.

"Why don't you both take a bit of time to calm down?" Charlie suggested as she tried to block the locked eyes of Vox and Zestial with her head. "I think we're all a little flustered thanks to the chaos from last night."

"Princess, do you honestly think this is fucking acceptable? He literally burned down one of my buildings I paid for because his people threw a riot! How the fuck is that fair!? I seriously question-" Vox was mid-rant when he hunched over and started coughing again. He covered his mouth, taking a moment to catch his breath. "Fucking fuck, I don't have time for your shit right now." His voice sounded a little hoarse.

"Then begone." Zestial took a visible step away as Vox started coughing.

"This isn't over." Vox narrowed his eyes once again.

"It very much is." Zestial seemed to get the last word as Vox's phone went off in his pocket. He rolled his eyes, flipping the middle finger toward Zestial as he turned around and pressed his other hand to the side of his head.

"This is Vox. Fucking Christ, Velvette, I stepped out for two goddamn seconds." And with a crackling sound, Vox vanished again.

"Apologies, Princess." Zestial pulled Charlie back, gently, by her shoulders before grabbing a jug of foul-smelling liquid from beneath his cloak and pouring it over the area where Vox had once stood, making a trail of it lead close to the fire. The flames caught and almost instantaneously, the liquid was set ablaze.

"I do think you and Vox will need to work this out at some point. Just promise me it won't result in a turf war? Pretty please?" Charlie didn't know Zestial that well, but like Carmilla, he was one of the Overlords with whom her parents had seemed more acquainted. Perhaps that held some sort of water.

"Nay. For a turf war, Vox wouldst need to be allowed back upon mine turf. Fare thee well, Princess." He tilted his feathered hat toward her before swooping into the shadows and vanishing once again.

"Ooooo, I am just stumbling onto all the juiciest drama today!" Mimzy's voice brought Charlie's attention back to her companion. (It seemed Mimzy didn't talk much when Zestial was around- apparently due to the fact that she didn't seem to understand him.) Charlie had been so focused on stopping a possible fight, that she didn't realize Mimzy had a DamnWay brand notebook and pen in her hand and was vigorously taking notes. "Vox is dying and Zestial is poisoning him!"

"That is not what you should take out of that conversation." Charlie didn't even know how Mimzy had gotten such an idea. "Vox is not dying, first of all. And Secondly, Zestial had nothing to do with him feeling badly. Even though we don't actually know that he is feeling badly because that isn't something we can prove without asking him." The coughing was probably a pretty good hint, but Charlie knew that assumptions were not going to help anyone.

"But he's totally dying and Zestial caused it." Mimzy chewed thoughtfully on her pen. "It says so right here in my notes."

"Right. Because that is something you made up. Which is why you wrote it down."

"I only write what I see, Princess. And these eyes don't lie."

"I'm not saying you're lying, just... Maybe... misinterpreting events."

"It's called subtext, Princess, and with you being a business owner who works with people, you'd think you'd understand such a simple concept."

"I feel like misinterpretation is still a better word to use here." Charlie countered as she and Mimzy started back on the path toward the Hotel. "Vox is going to be fine. Sinners can't be killed unless it's by an Angelic weapon."

"And that is why Zestial was definitely concealing an Angelic weapon in his cloak. I can tell that sort of thing from experience."

"I don't think that's true."

"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, bless your heart." Mimzy shook her head and clicked her tongue in disappointment as she followed Charlie back toward their home. "You poor, innocent little thing. Think about it: Zestial is best friends with Carmilla- possibly even her lover. Carmilla sells what? Angelic weapons. And now, mysteriously, Vox is dying? You see the connection here, right?"

"No. Also, once again: Vox is not dying." Charlie reminded her politely.

"And now Rosie is involved?" Mimzy looked to be deep in thought. "I wonder how she connects to all of this."

"I don't think any of this is actually connected."

"Obviously Rosie knows about Carmilla's plan to help Zestial get rid of Vox- you know, because they're lovers! She must have been trying to pay Rosie hush-money! THAT'S why they wanted to talk in private!"

"Why is Zestial trying to kill Vox, exactly?"

"Please, Charlie, try to keep up." Mimzy looked a tad annoyed. "Because you saw how they were arguing. There is clearly some kind of long-standing animosity between the two of them! Also, Vox may or may not be a witch. I was a bit unclear on that whole point when they were fighting because, as cute as he is, I can't understand a fucking word Zestial says. He's one of those boys that's better seen and not heard."

"That's not very nice." Charlie wasn't going to argue with Mimzy on this point any longer as it seemed clear to the Princess of Hell that some forces could not be defeated with even her regal might, one such force- apparently- was Mimzy's dedication to make shit up based on completely random bits of evidence.

"He's trying to kill Vox. That means I don't have to be nice." Mimzy assure her. Charlie gave up for the moment. She had learned to choose her battles and only continued to debate Mimzy this long out of an (apparently misplaced) sense of hope that she might listen to reason... this time.

They reached the Hotel without much incident. Of course, Mimzy was still in a great mood as she burst through the door with Charlie behind her. Vaggie was instantly on her feet to greet her girlfriend, but came to a stop looking at Charlie's outfit in confusion. "Is that... new? Because I absolutely do not remember you dressing like that this morning... or... ever for that matter."

"Velvette made it for me." Charlie took Vaggie into her arms, hugging her tightly and giving her a tender kiss. God it was nice to be home. "You like it?"

"It's not your usual style, but I would be lying if I said you didn't look drop dead gorgeous." Vaggie put a hand on Charlie's cheek. "But you look great in anything, so I guess that's a bit of a loaded question."

"Aw, you're too sweet." Charlie nuzzled her cheek playfully.

"This was quite the adventure. I have so many articles to write I don't even know where to start!" Mimzy let out an excited squeal before bolting up the stairs, nearly bumping into Angel Dust who was on his way down.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, watch it will ya?" Angel dodged out of the way before going back to looking at his phone.

"What go into Mimzy?" Vaggie watched her go before turning back to Charlie. "I'll be honest, I didn't expect her to be in this good of a mood after being straight-up ignored by what's-her-name for God knows how long."

"Mary-Lu." Charlie sighed. "Her name is Mary-Lu. And we did a lot more than that photoshoot. Did you know Mimzy writes for the 'Demonic Deets'? Because that was news to me."

"The gossip magazine?" Vaggie raised her eyebrow. "No but now that you've said that; I can totally see it."

"Ugh." Angel Dust let out a frustrated groan as he flopped onto the couch, kicking up his legs and stretching his back. All the while he was still glued to his phone. Charlie gave Vaggie another little squeeze before making her way to Angel.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just-" Angel finally looked up from his phone, eyes scanning Charlie from tiara to expensive heels. "Damn bitch, you look fucking amazing right now. You and bitch-tits going out?"

"No, Vaggie and I don't have anything planned. But I might keep this dress for the next time we do." Charlie did like the way Vaggie's face seemed to flush when she saw Charlie dolled up. (It might not hurt to ask Velvette for more fashion tips in the future, just for special occasions.)

"You should. You look like someone should pay you to step on them." Angel gave a nod of approval.

"Thank you, but what was it that was making you upset?" Charlie appreciated the compliment, but she didn't want it to distract her from possibly helping Angel. "If you want to tell me, that is."

"It's nothing big." Angel assured her looking back at his phone, his expression returning to annoyance. "It's fucking Val. He's barely called me for anything these last few months but now he's been texting me over and over again about last night's episode of 'Love after Death'."

"Oh? I didn't know he liked that show." Charlie was trying to be polite and not let her dislike of Val seep into her voice. She wanted Angel to feel safe talking to her.

"He doesn't. He says all of Vox's shows are shit. And he's mostly right. Except for Real Housewives of the Greed Ring. That show is fucking fantastic." Angel put the phone down, rolling his eyes. "I didn't watch the fucking episode. For one thing: I don't even watch Love after Death. And for another: I was in fucking bed."

"Is he mad that you didn't watch it or something?" Charlie couldn't imagine a situation in which Angel would be forced to watch a melodrama for work, but she didn't dare interfere less she upset her friend.

"He says he's disappointed which is fucking weird." Angel made a face. "I told him if he's that upset about it, he can have Vox send me a copy- not that he will. That Flat-Face fucker hates me." He smirked. "It's cause I'm prettier than he is." But his face instantly fell again. "But then Val was all: Oh no Angel, if you missed it, art can't be recreated or whatever. So, I was gonna ignore it, but fucking TikVox is going NUTS with people talking about how the episode is fucking transcendent. So, now I'm legit curious, ya know? I message Vox directly to ask and the fucker leaves me on read. Which he always does because, like I said, he fucking hates me."

"I don't think Vox hates you." Charlie had no idea how Vox felt about Angel, but it was hard to imagine anyone could hate him. "He's just... really busy right now. I saw him on my way back and he was arguing with Zestial."

"Oh fuck, really?" Angel perked up. "Did you record it? I bet that shit was hilarious."

"Well no... they were just talking about a store that got destroyed. Well... more like... arguing." Charlie gave a little shrug.

"Did Vox do his whole: I know better than you because I graduated from an Ivy League school, thing? He uses that shit on Val ALL the time when I hear them fighting." Angel laughed.

"He did mention his school." Charlie nodded.

"Miskatonic University." Angel snorted. "And don't you dare pronounce it wrong or he will fucking go off for like ten hours. He thinks he's hot shit because his parents probably paid a lot of money so he could brag about wasting years of his life in a stuffy fucking building surrounded by other pompous rich bitches. Who won the fight? Was it Zestial? I'm hoping it was Zestial."

"There was no fight." Charlie wasn't sure if there wouldn't be one later- but for now things had been left alone. "Vox accused Zestial of being paranoid and burning down his building- which he did do. And Zestial accused Vox of being... Eldritch? I think was the word... and also a witch." Eldritch... Charlie had heard the word once or twice before, but she had never been clear on the exact meaning.

"Eldritch?" Alastor's voice made Charlie and Angel both jump. "You don't say! Why that IS quite a fight."

"Alastor!" Charlie caught her breath. "How long have you been here?"

"Who knows? I truly am a man of great mystery."

"He walked in just a minuet ago." Vaggie replied flatly. Alastor's eyes narrowed for a moment, but his smile never wavered.

"And now I must head up to my room! I have much to do." He started up the stairs. Charlie watched him for a moment before biting her lip.

"One second guys." She gave a wave to Angel and Vaggie before running up the stairs after Alastor. "Hey!" She called to him as he had his hand on his bedroom door. He stopped, turning to look back at her.

"Hello!" He greeted her with the same enthusiasm he always used.

"You um... you went to a riot with Rosie last night?"

"Indeed! It was far superior to her original plan. A picture show? Can you imagine? Where's the creativity?"

"Y... yeah." Charlie gave a nervous laugh. Despite all the time he had been around, all the things he had done for the Hotel, Charlie still felt discomfort around Alastor. That smile could be disarming, but it could also be unsettling.

"Is that all?"

"When Zestial called Vox... Eldritch... what did he mean, exactly?"

"HA!" Alastor gave a single laugh but stopped the moment he saw Charlie's expression. "Oh dear, you're being serious." As if to emphasize his point, his little 'Oh Deer' mug materialized in his hand and he took a sip from it, never losing his smile. "I would have thought mommy and daddy would have discussed this with you. Then again, that is probably expecting too much from your dad, especially."

"Alastor." Charlie narrowed her eyes.

"No, no. I am simply saying that your father doesn't like competition. And who provides a bigger competition than beings who believe in direct interference with humans? Heaven and Hell are hands off. But The Elders, those responsible for eldritch magic? They love helping humans, living or dead. I can see where it might step on your father's tiny, little toes."

"They... help humans?" Well, that sounded really nice of them. But Charlie lived in Hell, she knew there was always a catch.

"This is all purely theoretical, Charlie dear." Alastor laughed. "It's just things I heard while I was on Earth. I doubt they're even real. I don't think Heaven would allow big magical beings to give gifts to living humans. It goes against their whole- we're the best thing ever motif." He wiped his gloved hand on his suit jacket as if buffing his claws. He examined his work, the glove hadn't really been dirty to begin with, not that Charlie had seen. But now it was definitely clean. "And Zestial being a paranoid old fart who thinks that the radio is borderline sorcery, is most likely just getting senile in his old age. If you ask me... he's been in power a bit too long. I worry the stress of it is getting to his head." Alastor's smile widened.

"I just-" Charlie was cut off as her phone started to ring. "Fuck. Hold on." She fumbled for her phone seeing: DAD across the screen. She immediately answered, turning around to face away from Alastor. "Dad?"

"Hey bitch!" Lucifer's voice sounded surprisingly cheerful. (Though she really wasn't sure why he felt like he had to greet her like this every time.) "I need your help for something, are you busy?"

"Help?" Charlie repeated. "Is this another lesson for Adam?"

"No, no, no, no, no." Her father quickly shut down that suggestion. "I mean... kinda. But it's not a Redemption lesson. It's more like... proving a point. Can you come to the house? If not, it's fine, but I would love your input."

"The house?" Charlie had only been inside twice since her father had promised her that he would make it available to her. And she hadn't made it past the foyer. (His excuse was that Adam now lived there, and he didn't want Charlie to have to put up with Adam's bullshit in her childhood home.) "I can actually go in? Not just stand awkwardly at the door?"

"Yeah, you can actually come in. In fact, you'll sort of have to." Her father didn't sound as avoidant as he usually did on the phone.

"I can be there." Charlie couldn't pass on this opportunity. "I'll leave as soon as I change clothes." No way she was going to go to see her dad dressed like this.

"Perfect! Love you, crabapple! I'll see you when you get here!"

"Love you too, dad." Charlie smiled, hanging up the phone and turning back to face Alastor... he was gone. Ah well. Charlie had to get ready anyway. She could always talk to Alastor after. But for now, it was time to see what her dad wanted.

Chapter Text

Adam awoke with a gasp, sweat clinging to his skin, two-toned hair sticking to his face. He tried to wipe the sweat away with his arm, but his whole body was caked in moisture. The silken sheet was plastered against his body. His mouth was dry, his chest ached. His neck felt bruised as he rubbed his hand along it. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His mind was racing, his head felt heavy, buzzing with whispers he couldn't even understand.

Where was he?

Where was his family!?

He tried to look around the room but one of his eyes was completely enveloped by darkness. Why couldn't he see out of that eye!?

The rest of the room was dimly illuminated by red lighting pouring in from behind thick curtains. He could see... enough, but all the colors seemed to be distorted.

He turned his head fully to see a glass of water on the table beside him. There was a note on it that just said: Drink, in his own handwriting. He brought the glass to his lips and started gulping the cooling water, trying to ground himself.

He was in a room.

A bedroom.

It was lavish, more so than anything he remembered seeing before.

Adam finished the entire glass but his hands were still shaking, his breathing still rapid. He went to put the glass back when he noticed it had been sitting on a little notebook. He picked the little book up and there was another note in his writing on the front that just said: Drink.

Adam opened the little notebook, the strange lighting pouring in from outside made his hands look discolored. It was so odd as his hands didn't even seem to be the same color. One almost seemed to absorb the light around it, the other reflecting it back like some sort of apparition. He shook himself and tried to focus on the writing in front of him.

You are okay. You are safe. The confusion will pass. Just wait. You look different. Do not panic. There is nothing wrong with you.

Adam looked at his hands again. So, this was normal? Not a trick of the light? He felt a bit better knowing that this was all just par for the course. He turned the page.

There is more water in the next room, leave the mirror covered. Just breathe.

More water did sound nice right about now.

Adam peeled the covers off of his skin and planted his feet firmly on the ground. The ground was shockingly soft. He reached down and touched it with his hand.

Right. Carpet. He knew what carpet was.

He stood up. The discoloration seemed to be covering his whole body, a line right down the middle of him. His heart started racing again but he remembered the note. This was all normal. There was no need for panic.

He took a moment to steady his breathing, before walking into the next room. There were several glasses of water along a counter. There was a blanket covering the mirror. Adam took one of the glasses, drinking desperately to try and sooth the burning in his mouth. He took a look around. Two more notes caught his eye. One above the faucet (yes, faucet, that was the word) that simply said: More water here. The second was on the cloth that covered the mirror that just read: Don't. (Adam did have to admit, the desire to look at himself was overwhelming, but he had a feeling he should listen to himself.

He kept drinking, mind slowly starting to calm down. That's right, he was dead. He had been dead for a long time. But it was okay. He was in Heaven. He had two of his sons.

He put the glass down knocking a rubber duck off of the edge if his sink. He picked it up. Was this something Abel had brought home? It was cute, and Abel had always liked animals. He put it back on the sink. If that's where Abel wanted to keep it, that was fine by him. It wasn't in the way. He grabbed yet another glass, the pain in his mouth was subsiding from unbearable to tolerable.

Wait...

No, the duck couldn't belong to Abel. Abel wasn't here.

Adam's grip tightened on the glass as slowly he started to come back to reality. His hands shook again and he stumbled backwards into a wall. He slid down, knees trembling, as he sat on the floor, his breathing quickened again as he tried to bring the glass to his mouth to drink.

Fuck. He was in Hell.

He was in Hell and he was at the mercy of the Devil himself.

Adam finished the last glass, closing his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall until he was able to calm himself down.

Every fucking morning this same routine. He was so tired of having to relive the shock over and over again. He would attribute it to Hell, just another level of his torment at the clawed hands of the Devil- but that wasn't true. He had been dealing with this daily confusion since Heaven. (Though arguably it was getting much worse now that he was down here.) At least he had a system in place.

He took a deep, calming breath and got back to his feet. He started refilling all the glasses one by one and putting them back into place. He took the sheet off the mirror and took a long look at himself. Even with the fucked-up color scheme, at least he still looked like himself, so he was still handsome, especially compared to most Sinners. He washed his face, the cool water helping keep his mind focused. It didn't pay to dwell on how sucky night was from the night terrors to the morning confusion. He had brought up his concerns only once in Heaven, but was assured that he was either exaggerating his symptoms, or in danger of Falling because "that shouldn't happen in Heaven."

And that was the last time Adam had tried to bring it up. When it continued to worsen, he had thought about trying again, this time going to one of Raphael's angels since they were the experts when it came to healing- (and things had gotten so bad Adam was starting to push Abel out of their house for fear his son would catch him in his confused state. He loved living with Abel, but the risk that he might not recognize him one morning was constantly buzzing in Adam's mind. And he still had their Wednesday lunches... that is... until he had stopped going to those.) He really had thought about asking for help, but to be honest, the idea that he was Falling had terrified him into keeping his mouth shut. (It was easier to push Abel away temporarily- just until the problem fixed itself and Adam proved to Heaven that he still deserved to be there, than it was to face the reality he might lose Abel and Seth forever.) He had tried so hard to be obedient, and where had it gotten him? Sera had been right. (But if that had all been symptomatic of his Fall from Grace, then why the fuck were his symptoms worse now that the process was complete? Probably because Hell was Hell and by nature could only make him more fucking miserable.)

Adam dried his face on one of the surprisingly fluffy towels. He went back into the bedroom and opened the closet to find his white angelic robes. He did have a few other outfits now, mostly for walking around Hell- but most clothing really didn't accommodate for retractable wings. Yet another way in which Heaven was superior. He could make a list, but he didn't have the time or the paper.

So, he chose to wear the outfit that had materialized with him when he Fell. (The fact that the flowing fabric reminded him of what he had worn Upstairs was a bonus.) He went back to the mirror, examining himself. He poked one of the floating bits of his halo back into place as it had started to shift when he was getting ready. Once in a while, he would try to force the pieces back together, but that only seemed to make things worse. He examined his teeth- the half of them he could see, given the glow on the right side of his mouth made it impossible to see anything. At least if he had food stuck in teeth on the right, no one would ever know. Seeing himself with fangs was still a little off-putting, but he made them work. That was the blessing of having a beautiful face that even sin couldn't corrupt.

He picked the sheet up off of the ground and covered the mirror back up. It was a shame to deprive the glass of his image, but if he forgot to put it back on before going to sleep, he would have a complete mental breakdown in the morning. Even his angel form had freaked him out, waking up looking like some unfinished art project might break him. (He didn't want anyone in the fucking mansion to know his morning routine. Especially not Lucifer. Best case scenario: He got mocked endlessly. Worst case: the Devil pitied him. And Adam was not to be fucking pitied.)

He fixed the note attached to the sheet, making sure everything was set up, before exiting his room into the hallway. It didn't seem like anyone was really awake yet. That was fine by him. He walked through the hall which- thanks to his hard work- was free of yellow, squeaky tripping hazards. He wasn't a fucking maid, but something really had to be done with the disarray of the mansion. Plus, Adam did need money for things like new clothes or a new guitar since his modified harp would no longer appear when he summoned it. Worst side effect of Falling. Worse than looking almost two dimensional on one half of his body. He'd stay looking this way forever if he could get his harp-guitar back. That thing kicked ass.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Adam heard movement behind one of the doors. It had been a few months since he had started living in the mansion and he was more than accustomed to how things worked. So, without hesitation, he opened the door from behind which the tapping had originated.

"Morning Syn."

"Greetings and good morning, Adam!" Once in a while, she would still call him Maid or Adam-Just-Adam, but for the most part, she seemed to have his name figured out. "Thank you for releasing me!"

"Lysander not up yet?" Usually he was up first, and went right for the gym that Lucifer still had no idea existed. (Adam wasn't going to tell him. It was way more fun to see if he noticed on his own.) He would usually be the one to let Syn out of her room.

"Not yet. I am glad you are awake! I am ready to start the day!"

"You sure are." Adam peeked down the hallway to see if anyone else looked like they were awake. Nope. Lucifer and Lysander's doors were both closed. Well shit. It was rare he was the first one awake-or at least- the first one outside. Syn buzzed around his head for a moment before flying back in front of him. Adam noticed she had a green marker taped to her. Lysander must have attached it before they went to sleep so that Syn could color.

"I made a new sign for my door! Can you help me put it up?"

"Yeah sure, why not?" Adam gave a small shrug. He was supposed to be focusing on doing nice shit for people. And Syn should qualify. If not- he was going to have to take it up with Lucifer because it was way easier to do nice things for her and Lysander than it was to try and force himself to do anything for the former Archangel.

"It is this way!" Syn fluttered back into her room, spinning in a little circle over her desk. "Right here! Do you like it?" Adam looked down at the paper on her desk and the scribbles that did look a little more like letters this time.

"Yeah, that looks pretty good." He wasn't sure how much she cared about his opinion. But it was nice to be asked.

"I think it needs stickers. Can you help me add them?"

"Yeah, some stickers would look sick as fuck, let's do this." At times like this, Adam sincerely wondered if Lucifer had intentionally based Syn off of his daughter, or if Lucifer was just so sad and miserable that everything, he made was filled with the wonder he could never experience.

"They are right there."

"Where?" Adam looked at Syn who hadn't really changed position.

"There."

"Syn, I can't see where you're looking. I don't even know which part of you is the front." Adam had complained about this before- even asking Lucifer to give Syn arms, or eyes, or something to make her life just a little bit easier- but he hadn't been receptive to Adam's suggestions. He just continued to insist that the process was more complicated than Adam could comprehend.

"I rotate." The little wings spun entirely around her body as if proving a point. "I do not have a front."

"Can I give you a little makeover?" That was a good word, right? If he phrased it to sound fun, Syn was more likely to agree. "So then you'll have a front? That way we can know where you're looking?"

"I am looking everywhere! I have three-hundred-and-sixty-degree vision!"

"Okay, but in situations like this you can show me which direction in particular is your focus."

"Hmmm..." Syn was considering it, which was, honestly, more than Adam was expecting. "Okay! Can you add a sticker on me too? That is even BETTER than just having them on my sign!"

"Yeah, sure. Which one? Point with the marker." Adam grabbed the various sticker sheets and spread them out on the table- careful not to cover Syn's new sign. (He had no idea how she got these things. Either Lysander bought them for her, or Syn could make purchases herself- which was a weird concept. Was she a paid employee? Or was this all just stuff left behind by Charlie that Syn confiscated for herself? Adam highly doubted Lucifer would let anyone, even Syn, go through Charlie's things. So, she must have been purchasing the stickers from somewhere else.)

"I think I want this one on me!" Syn flew so the marker was pointing to a glittery rainbow sticker.

"Where do you want it?" Adam carefully peeled the sticker, holding it up so Syn could see.

"On top!" She tilted toward Adam so he could put the sticker on the flat surface. He carefully placed it where she wanted.

"Now I get to decorate, right?"

"Yes! You may give me a front!"

"Cool. Mind if I use your stuff?" He gestured to the hoard of craft supplies that Syn had gathered through unknown means.

"You may!" She actually sounded excited by the idea. Adam went to her stash and began looking through it. He had an idea of what he wanted to do, but he had to be certain Syn had all the proper tools. And she did, surprisingly enough. At some point, Adam would have to ask her about her source. He was curious. Maybe he wanted some markers so he could draw an array of dicks in various colors and leave them hidden throughout the mansion to see if anyone noticed.

"Ready?" Adam found what he needed and brought it beside Syn. He figured he would just use tape to make his changes on the off-chance Syn didn't like what he added- though she should because everything he did was amazing.

"Ready!" Syn settled down on the table as Adam removed the marker from her. He got to work, a little construction paper, a little tape, and then the pièce de résistance. It wasn't much, but it would be enough.

"Okay, finished."

"Can I see?"

"Have at it."

"Yay!" Syn flew up and toward the bathroom to look in the mirror. Why Syn got a fucking room with a bathroom was anyone's guess. But Adam had stopped questioning things a while ago. "I love it!" She flew back in and Adam had to stifle a laugh as he saw her large googly eyes with the oversized lashes. "I look like Master!"

"Yeah, sure." Not even remotely, but at least she was happy. Adam didn't feel the need to correct her.

"I approve!" And with that. She flew out into the hallway, probably looking for anyone she could show off to. Adam could only imagine Lucifer's reaction. He smirked as he started cleaning up Syn's things (even going out in the hall and hanging up her knew sign next to her old one) as she flew up and down the hallway. There was an all too familiar churning in his stomach that sent an ache all over his body.

"Sunnovabitch." Adam scrambled to grab the trash can as he vomited up more of the viscous black liquid. It always made his whole mouth hurt, and recently it had started sending pain through his entire body. He was under the impression that as he purged more of this Corruption that things would get easier. He had never been more wrong. (Okay, he had been more wrong about the whole apple incident, but that was on both he and Eve.) He picked up the trash can and carried it to Lucifer's door, knocking. "Hey fuck face, I did a good deed."

Nothing.

Ugh. Fine. He had been sleeping in late recently, that apparently wasn't new, according to Syn and Lysander. Adam would mock him for it later. Relentlessly. But he had a feeling Lucifer would be annoyed if he missed such a golden opportunity.

Still, there was the matter of the toxic puke in the trash can. Adam wasn't able to destroy it himself. That seemed to be a Lucifer-specific task. After all, if Adam was contagious, he didn't want to risk getting Lysander sick. And Syn didn't seem like she was equipped with any weapons (an obvious oversight on Lucifer's part). So, Adam simply went back into Syn's room and grabbed a marker and in his finest penmanship, he wrote: Thinking of you. Complete with a doodle of himself giving the finger.

There. Problem solved. Or at least it would be when Lucifer got his ass up and out of bed.

Another door opened and Lysander stumbled out sporting a black eye and bandages on his tail. He blinked in the bright hall lighting before spotting Adam with the trashcan and the note. "Whatchya up to, mate?"

"This is for your boss." Adam gestured to the can. "It's my puke."

"Right then. No further questions. Carry on." Lysander gave him thumbs up before rubbing his eyes and giving a huge yawn revealing a mouth of fangs and a forked tongue. "Boss is asleep, eh? Damn. I shoulda slept in."

"You look like shit, dude." Adam looked him up and down. Lysander was typically pretty well dressed, but this time he was in a stained T-shirt (it looked like the stain was some kind of blood but Adam wasn't curious enough to ask) and sweat pants.

"Yeah, I was out late. My boys and I were in a riot. It was a fucking grand time! I think you were asleep or I would have called you out to join."

"I'm not supposed to get hurt, remember?" Adam raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well then just fight better than everyone else. That's not hard, yeah?"

"I mean, it wouldn't be hard for me. I was a military general." Adam didn't mean to brag- well... that wasn't true- he was absolutely bragging intentionally. He couldn't go out and fight for risk of spreading the Corruption. But he could still make sure he was respected as the fearless fighter he was.

"Yeah. Sure." Lysander's tone made it difficult for Adam to judge if he believed him or not. "Regardless, I had to fight to protect the mansion. I am the Boss-man's security. If the place is I danger, I had no choice but to respond."

"I'm surprised I slept through a riot if it was that fucking close."

"I mean... close... ish..."

"You just wanted to be in a riot." Adam narrowed his eyes.

"No, I wanted to be paid to be in a riot." Lysander winked and clicked his tongue. "Important difference. Sure, it was like... ten blocks away, but this shit spreads and it was my job to suppress it. Which I did."

"I mean I respect the hustle; I won't say shit." Adam gave a little shrug. "Hey, you wanna go to the bowling alley? We could play a few rounds before-"

"Bowling what?" Lucifer's door opened and he stood looking up at Lysander and Adam looking exhausted for a brief moment before he straightened himself off.

"Nothing." Adam immediately changed the subject. "I got you something." He shoved the trashcan into Lucifer's chest. "Decorated it and everything."

"Wow... a vomit bucket. Gee. Thanks." Lucifer must have known what it was from the smell alone. "And here I only got you a fucking place to live rent free, a job, and all the food you can eat. However am I going to repay such kindness?"

"Did you even see my beautiful decorations?" Adam feigned his offense. Lucifer looked at the taped drawing with no change in his completely deadpan expression.

"Golly fucking gee whiz. I almost missed that." And with that, the trashcan and the note went up in a burst of flames. Even the ash dissipated into nothing before it ever touched the floor.

"That was Syn's trashcan. You know that right?" Adam didn't bat an eye. Lucifer snapped his fingers and a new trashcan appeared. He grabbed it and shoved it back to Adam. "Thank you."

"Why does Syn even need a trashcan?" Lucifer's expression stayed completely stoic. "What could she possibly need to throw away?"

"Master!" There was an excited cry from further down the hallway before Syn came zipping between them all, her oversized eyes facing in all different directions thanks to her movement. "Good morning! Today's weather is boiling hot with a twenty percent chance of acid rain! News reports of multiple riots last night involving VoxTek! But these reports are alleged to be greatly exaggerated according to sources!"

"Vox. According to Vox, you mean. If it's from 666 News, then the sources are all Vo- why the fuck do you look like that." Mid-rant, Lucifer seemed to finally notice Syn's newest improvements. "Who did that to you?"

"Adam gave me a makeover!"

"Did he now?"

"Do you like it, Master?"

"I personally love it." Lysander clapped his hands softly.

"I like it too!"

"I..." Lucifer seemed to stop himself as he saw Syn's wings spin around her in excitement. The motion made the googly eyes roll around and Adam could have sworn he saw the hint of a smile, before the deadpan expression returned. "It's fine."

"I also have a sticker now!" She rotated the body to show where Adam had placed her choice of sticker.

"Very good. Incredibly professional." Lucifer nodded to her.

"Hurray!"

"Don't you worry about those riots either, boss man, I took care of everything." Lysander assured him. "Of course, it was when I was technically off the clock, so there is the matter of overtime-"

"Syn does time cards. Take it up with her." Lucifer held up his hand.

"Syn does timecards?" Adam blinked. He had always been under the impression Lucifer handled all that. But Syn? That was even better. Syn actually liked him. And now that he had given her a makeover, he clearly was deserving of a raise. He'd bring that up to her later. When Lucifer wasn't around.

"Righty then~" Lysander patted Syn on the top of her cylindrical body making the eyes wiggle. Adam snorted. "So, who's fucking starving? Because I worked up an appetite last night slaughtering all those Sinners- you know- protecting the mansion and all that."

"I can conjure up something." Lucifer rubbed his forehead. "What do you want?"

"Fuck yeah! Pizza-bites!" Lysander already had something in mind. Adam scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What? You don't like pizza-bites?" Lysander turned to look at him a bit surprised.

"No, of course I do. But like... do we have to eat summoned food all the fucking time?"

"Do you want take-out, Adam?" Lucifer had already summoned up the box of pizza-bites and was holding it toward Lysander. "Because if you want that, you can pay for it yourself, princess."

"I mean it's better than summoned food. But you miss my point- can I have some of those by the way?" He looked over at Lysander who now had the box.

"Sure, mate. Imma go cook 'em up in the microwave." Lysander gave him a thumbs up before heading back into his room.

"What the fuck is wrong with summoned food?" Lucifer was glaring up at Adam, arms crossed. "Apparently it's not that bad since you're fine mooching off of Lysander."

"It doesn't taste as good as home-cooked. And it's not just you who had this problem. It's literally anyone who summons food. It's... fine... but it's never... great." Adam was at least going to give Lucifer that the problem wasn't just conducive to him. Any creature, angel or devil, who summoned food could never capture the nuance and array of flavors.

"I think it's you who has the problem." Lucifer looked rather annoyed. "I have been summoning food since before you were a concept, and I promise you it is not only great it is divine."

"It's really not. Why do you think Charlie liked Cain's cakes so much? I mean, aside from the fact that he is literally amazing at anything he does- but he bakes. He makes food from scratch, and there is a distinct difference."

"There's no fucking difference, except for the fact that cooking leaves room for error." Lucifer replied flatly. "So, either you get something roughly the same, or you get something infinitely worse."

"Well then," Lysander came back out with the pizza-bites on a little plate. "I think one of you should put your money where your mouth is."

"I don't bet with employees." Lucifer seemed unamused by the entire concept. Adam smirked.

"Cause you know you'd lose. Hey, it's fine to be a fucking pussy so long as you can admit it."

"Okay you want to play that game?" Lucifer whirled around to face Adam. Perfect. He never could resist a challenge. "If I win, you have to clean my workshop." Adam cringed a bit at the thought. Of all the rooms in the mansion, the workshop was by far the worst when it came to ducks, leftover food, and other garbage neglected by Lucifer in his depressed state. Adam didn't even like being in the workshop, the idea of cleaning it up made his skin crawl.

"Okay. Fine. But if I win, I want a raise." Sure, he could go behind Lucifer and bother Syn for one, but this would set a good precedent for Adam to slowly increase his pay over time. Lucifer looked annoyed.

"A raise? You barely fucking work!"

"I do stuff sometimes." This was true. Adam had gradually been picking up things as they started to bother him. The mansion was, overall, noticeably cleaner since his arrival. He wasn't doing it because he was the maid, because that was just a bullshit title Lucifer had given him to bruise his ego. No, Adam would only do enough to assure he got paid and to clean up the areas he liked to frequent. Just because Lucifer had given up didn't mean Adam had consented to be crushed under a thousand ducks.

"No raise." Lucifer was putting his foot down. (Probably because he knew Adam was going to win.) But that was okay. Adam had other ideas.

"I want a golden guitar."

"A what now?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. It seemed that the realization hit him because after a second, his eyes narrowed. "Is this about that whole incident in Georgia, because let me tell you, Johnny embellished everything. That isn't how that went down, at all. I actually still have the golden fiddle."

"Really? Because I heard you got your ass beat real bad." Adam grinned down at him. Lucifer was thoroughly unamused.

"Not true. And why the fuck would you get a golden guitar for a cooking competition? If anything, you'd get like... a golden frying pan or some shit."

"A golden frying pan would be terrible for cooking. It would stain. I would be too afraid to use it." Adam protested. This clearly demonstrated the Devil's knowledge (or lack thereof) when it came to the culinary arts.

"You could keep it as a trophy." Lucifer summoned up a series of golden cooking utensils. "I'll even throw in a golden spatula and a golden stand-mixer."

"I feel like that would throw off the flav-"

"Do you want fucking prizes or not?"

"Okay. Fine. I mean, just beating your ass is a prize to me."

"So, no golden stand-mixer for you." Lucifer went to grab it out if the air where it was floating but Adam quickly batted his hand away.

"Hey now you already offered it." If anything, Adam could sell the stuff (or more accurately have Lysander sell it for him) so that he could save up to buy his own guitar. He felt... empty without one. "Why do you care so much about what my prizes are if you're so confident that you'll win?" Lucifer pulled his hand back as Adam made a point. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You know what? You're right. I'll even give you these one-of-a-kind golden cooking tongs."

"Still feel like those would stain. They don't even have a rubber handle. They'd burn my hand." Adam grumbled it under his breath. But Lucifer was right, these were clearly items of pure aesthetic.

"I can judge!" Lysander offered through a mouth full of pizza-bites. Adam quickly grabbed a handful off the plate as he had no desire to let Lysander devour them all. He had been promised some, and he would need energy to compete.

"Dude you can't judge, Lucifer's your boss." Adam didn't want the odds stacked against him.

"I mean, sure, but I am also the only one here who can eat and isn't actively competing."

"He has a point." Lucifer gave a smug little smile. "And if you make sure I win, there is more paid time off in your future."

"Hey!" Adam whirled around. "No! It has to be a blind taste test. You can't know who made what."

"I mean it will be obvious, mine will be the most beautiful and decadent meal ever created. And you will have... burned toast." Lucifer was seemingly feeling more like himself, judging by the pure elitism dripping from his voice.

"I am actually a very good cook. So, fuck you." Adam retorted, crossing his own arms.

"Sure, you are." Lucifer chuckled. "Well, I am going to enjoy my relaxing morning. You just let me know when you finish putting your potatoes in water so I can create a grand feast." He tapped his cane on the floor, his top hat appeared on his head and he walked past Adam, making sure the coat tails smacked him on the way out.

"Wait!" Adam chased him down. "You have to get rid of Quackers first! I need access to the kitchen!"

"That's on you~" Lucifer didn't even break his stride. "This is your silly competition, after all. But don't worry, I'm sure he will tire himself eventually. I mean, his battery was only good for a few millennia."

"That's not fair!"

"Adam," Lucifer came to a stop at last "I'm literally the devil, my dude. Of course it's not fucking fair."

"You know what? That's on me I should have expected that." Adam's eyes were still narrowed, but in all honesty, Lucifer had a point. This was pretty on-brand for him.

"Can I judge too?"

"You don't even eat-" Adam started to protest, but Lucifer cut him off.

"Of course you can."

"I will vote for Master!"

"Oh come on!" Great. Adam's only saving grace would be Lysander and he had once seen the Hellborn eat a three-day old sandwich that had been left out on the counter. Clearly there was no one with any actual taste. He might as well give up now. But- he wouldn't give Lucifer the satisfaction. The Devil would need the flavor of Adam's cooking to get the bitter taste of defeat out of his mouth.