Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Xelqua typed as fast they could, they were finally in the coldness of the void–yet they still weren’t free from them. They were pulling up a list of servers, trying to find a good one, but if they could see it, so could the others. They could feel the void trying to consume them, tear them apart till there was nothing left. Xelqua hovered one of their fingers over something but it felt odd. They couldn’t see it, but something was definitely there. They pressed on it and gasped, feeling the air get sucked out of them.

Their wings were burning with pain, yet they weren’t on fire or anything, it was just pain. Something was pulling them into a world, they couldn’t flap their wings. They were useless to them, Xelqua was falling in the void and thrown out of something. Their back collided with a stone wall as they got thrown out, they screamed in pain as their wings got the worst of it. The air was sucked out of them as they tried to regain their breath as fell onto the harsh, cold stone floor. They stood up to see a giant portal that was cracked into the stone, its purple color fading as the portal shrunk–like it wasn’t ever there.

It was like they were in a cave–a dark one at that, and there weren’t any mobs. Xelqua shrugged this off as they limped against the wall, their breathing was rapid. They were sucking breaths in and out as they stumbled, the pain in their wings burned, and it felt like their bones were broken. As Xelqua took another step they cried out in pain, it was like a thousand netherite swords were being stabbed into their body. They sobbed as the pain got worse, it was horrible. They slowly flapped their wings, somehow still working as they flew to the top, seeing stone and a few patches of dirt, maybe they could get out. Their hands ached as they dug their way out, it was a long process as they finally got out, they were met with a night sky, stars shining brightly as mobs spawned nearby.

Xelqua quickly chopped down some trees as they quickly made a small shack, enclosing themself in it. It was a wonder as to how they lived, they had an arrow sticking out of their arm and their leg. They almost died and it scared them–cause if they did die it would either be permanent or not and it would alert the whole server. They let out a sigh as they laid on the grass, groaning as it did not provide much comfort, but they couldn’t do anything else about it till day. They curled their wings over themself to provide warmth–yes they still hurt like millions of blades slashing through them, but they still provided comfort to Xelqua. They hummed as they felt tired, but they wouldn’t sleep, it wasn’t something they were familiar with.

They just lied there, breathing slowly as they sighed, waiting for day to come. The small shack wasn’t that big, but it did provide shelter for the night. Xelqua knew they would have to move in the morning, they didn’t check to see if there were any bases nearby. This could be a hardcore world, a big server, or just nothing. Xelqua didn’t check anything as they got out, but they knew it was probably a server since it was night and had lots of mobs spawning, meaning at least a few players were nearby. They groaned as they shifted around, trying to get as comfortable as possible while they waited for day, they had a hole in the roof to see the light. Although spiders could crawl in, none haven’t yet; and that was good enough for Xelqua.

Their back and wings ached badly, Xelqua whimpered as they turned over onto their stomach, it provided some help. They just lied there, humming to themselves with a scratchy and raspy throat, trying to comfort themselves. They were never good at singing, they liked to do it for fun though. The other Watchers didn’t want them to sing, didn’t want them even speaking at all, so their words were taken away. Xelqua was upset about this at first, but they eventually learned to live with it. All they could do now was either scream, hum, or make noises of acknowledgment, but they mostly hummed to soothe themselves. It's what made them feel more human anyway.

Xelqua squirmed around and sighed as they saw the black of the night fade into a soft warm, misty glow. They slowly sat up, groaning as all the pain came rushing back, it was sharp and uncomfortable. They broke out of their shabby shack and limped over to a nearby tree, sighing as they didn't see any bases nearby. It was odd how weak they felt, being in the void took a lot of energy out of them, and being thrown straight into a wall certainly wasn't pleasant either. They limped around, looking for any sheep to gather wool from, if they were planning to take refuge here for a while, they might as well have a bed.

They managed to make a bed and continued to limp farther back to their little shack, it certainly didn't seem like there was anyone else there. Yes, there were many mobs spawning, but maybe it was because Xelqua was there. They chopped more trees down, humming to themselves again. They started on improving the small shack—by adding a door, some flooring, a proper roof, and flooring—it all felt more cozier now. They went inside and sighed, throwing themselves onto the bed, and curling up under the covers as it turned night once more. They spent the entire day fixing up their little house.

Xelqua tossed and turned, trying to be as comfortable as possible till they heard something. It took them out of the daze that they were in and led them to go outside where they saw multiple people. Some were hybrids and some seemed normal, but Xelqua sucked in a breath when one of them seemed to have noticed them. The person pointed towards Xelqua who began to panic, they ran back into their little house and went under the bed. They couldn't run because of the pain in their back affecting their whole body, and it was the only other place they had to hide. They sucked in another breath as the door swing open, revealing a few people inside.

“You said you saw the Watcher go in here, right?” A voice could be heard, Xelqua slapped their hands over their mouth.

“I'm sure it was a Watcher! It had these purple eyes and it was wearing a weird symbol on its robes!” Another voice exclaimed, and there was silence for a moment, Xelqua couldn't see anything as they were facing the wall so when they heard the door open and close, they thought it would be safe to come out; it wasn't.

They were met with a Voidwalker and a Vex. They screamed as they went back under the bed, “We have to kill it! You know what those things are capable of!” The more accent-heavy voice from earlier said as they gripped on Xelqua’s wings. They sobbed out as the person tried to pull them forward, but Xelqua wasn't having any of it, they turned their body around and scratched the person, blood immediately spilling out from the fresh scratch marks. The person hissed in pain and stepped back as Xelqua dove back under the bed, backing themselves up into the farthest corner.

“We’ll need to contact the others, stay back,” Xelqua could hear, they gasped as they heard fireworks ring out in the distance. The sound only got louder as it came closer, Xelqua was shaking with fear. Voidwalkers and Vexes were terrifying, the other Watchers were horrified by them. So if they were scared, Xelqua was screwed. They were trying to remain calm, more and more people entered leaving Xelqua terrified.

They tried to keep their breathing slow, but they couldn't help but hyperventilate. Their chest pained with little to no air, they were choking on their own breath as the bed above them was broken. They covered themselves with their wings and tried to not sob in front of the unfamiliar people. “Are you sure it's a Watcher? It doesn't seem like one…” One voice said as it trailer off. Xelqua choked on a sob as they made sure they weren't visible, their wings covering their whole body.

“It is, it has the eyes of one and it scratched me!” The Voidwalker from earlier yelled, Xelqua wanted to sob so badly.

Xelqua felt a hand touch their wings and they screamed, not only in pain but in fear, opening their eyes. The people around them gasped as multiple purple eyes littered the area. They stood up and ran out, tripping as the back in their back flared up. “Kill it…” One voice said, Xelqua looked to towards the voice to spot a woman with blue eyes, brown hair, and had an accent. “It's one of them, and it probably had something to do with his disappearance.” The woman continued, the Voidwalker nodding as they came closer to Xelqua.

They got up and ran, stumbling as the other people chased after them. Xelqua felt like their body was burning up, their breath was uneasy, and they were in horrible pain from smashing into a wall not that long ago. They suddenly felt the ground disappear underneath them as they had fell into the hole they dug earlier. They screamed as they fell onto the ground, their whole body in pain.

The other people flew down into the cave with their elytras, seeing Xelqua’s body twitch. Gasps and sobs could be heard, they all watched Xelqua stand up only to fall again, in far too much pain. “Are you sure we have to kill it? It doesn't seem too hostile…” A voice from earlier said, Xelqua liked the sound of their voice. It reminded them of honey, a sweet taste filling their mouth as they listened to it.

“Yes, Scar! Don't have any sympathy for that thing! It's a Watcher!” The accent-heavy woman from earlier said to the other, Xelqua groaning as they crawled away into a corner. Their whole body was in pain, their wings and back ached like no tomorrow. They covered themselves with their wings, choking on their sobs as they tried to calm themselves.

Xelqua looked over to the group of people, watching and hearing them argue like they weren't even there.

“But the Watcher isn't really trying to hurt us! I mean… I’d scratch someone too if they grabbed my wings,” the honey-like voice that Xelqua could find themselves drowning in spoke.

Another Vex with glasses and a lab coat rubbed the bridge of his noses and took a deep breath in, “Scar, you don't know what these things are capable of, they're monsters!”

Xelqua finally stopped sobbing but was still fearful of the other people. They propped themselves up against a wall, their hands in their lap as their head was hung low. They could still hear the arguing and wanted to tune it all out; so they began to hum to themselves.

“Look I don't care if it's crying! Those things took my brother—!” The heavy-accent woman yelled again as she stopped, “Who's humming?” She asked, looking around.

Xelqua tuned out the other people, only focusing on themselves. They knew their humming wasn't beautiful by any means, but the song they hummed brought a lot of comfort to them. They weren't sure on how they knew the song, it just came to them when they first started humming, and they haven't stopped humming it ever since. It had a nice comforting tune to it and it always lulled them to a calm enough state.

They could feel the other people's eyes on them. They stopped humming, they didn't like how their eyes felt on them. “I have some chloroform and a breathing mask, we could try to get it unconscious.” Xelqua heard, their wings puffed out everywhere, they never really expanded their wings fully but when they did; their wings were everywhere.

Xelqua knew what they were going to do, One and Two had done the same to them multiple times. They stood and ran as some of the other people came towards them, they didn't want to be unconscious—they didn't like being vulnerable. One of the Vexes grabbed them by their wings, making them scream loudly in pain as their entire body was still twitching from the fall. Others grabbed them by their limbs, forcing them to be still and not be able to get out of their uncomfortable position.

Something was being put over their mouth as they kicked and screamed. They had managed to forget that they didn't need to breathe, it was only a thing they needed to do in the void. Xelqua stopped breathing and didn't inhale the gas they wanted them to inhale. They refused and used a bit of the little energy they had left to summon their eyes, creeping the people around them out. All but one didn't go, the Voidwalker. They stepped towards Xelaua, who only hissed at them.

“I suggest you don't do that,” their voice was low and hard. It creeped Xelqua out even more when they realized that they were being spoken to in galactic, “You should be grateful that we’re only trying to take your life instead of torturing you for centuries in the void.” Xelqua’s eyes widened, they stood up with the aching pain and flew out with the little strength they had.

Their whole body was in pain, everything burned as they ran. The thumping of their heart that shouldn't even be beating was thumping hard in their chest, they were glad they hadn't inhaled the gas. They were grateful that One and Two were able to do something to their body and modify it so that they didn't need to breathe. They flew and crashed into a few trees. Getting up immediately to run as their wings were beyond broken to fly now, oh how disappointed One and Two would be if they found out their prized Watcher broke their precious gift to them.

Xelqua could hear fireworks fire off around them, the forest being wide thorough enough for them to hopefully lose them. It was a shame that Watchers had a hard time dying, even if they were in a regular survival server, it was still hard to die. A player killing a Watcher meant permanent death though, they wouldn't respawn if they were to die to a mob; or die to fall damage. Xelqua groaned as they dove into a bush, hearing the voices get louder, they silently hoped that they wouldn't be caught. The voices eventually disappeared but something appeared in front of them, a Vex.

“Hey, it's just me! Friendly ol’ Scar here, I don't mean no harm!” It was the vex that held the honey-like voice Xelqua liked. “I trust that you won't hurt me, will you?” Scar asked, smiling at Xelqua who only looked at the things on Scar’s legs. They were confused on what they were so they pointed to them, hoping Scar would understand their confusion. “Oh! These are leg braces, I use Vex magic to help me walk but I still have trouble so I use these to help as well, flying takes too much energy out of me,” Scar explained, Xelqua nodded.

Scar seemed different compared to the others, Xelqua found themselves feeling safe enough around him to relax. Still keeping their guard up since people were still looking for them, “I've noticed you don't really speak, why is that?” Scar asked, Xelqua sucked in and let out a shaky breath, before pointing towards their mouth and making an ‘X’ with their fingers before pressing the symbol against their lips.

“Are implying that you can't speak?” Scar looked surprised as he asked, Xelqua nodded. It was a sensitive subject but Xelqua didn't mind so much when it came to Scar asking for some reason, but something pulled their wings back and grabbed them by the hands.

“Thanks, Scar!” The woman from earlier seemed happy, Scar looked shocked before shaking his head frantically.

“No, look they don't seem like the Watchers you told us about, Pearl! They've been really kind so far!” Scar tried to defend himself, he tried to pry Xelqua away from Pearl.

The two ended up drawing some attention as more people surrounded them, Scar pulled Xelqua towards himself, “Look, what if they aren't a bad Watcher!” He tried to say, Xelqua began freaking out, and they fell to the ground as they felt something being stabbed into them. It made them feel tired and gross.

More arguments could be heard as Xelqua faded in and out of conscientiousness, groaning as their head hit the ground. The pain in their body catching up with them as their world spun around. The pain was unbearable and Xelqua sobbed, lying limp on the ground. Everything faded out around them and finally turned to black, leaving their vision black as the void for them to look at until they regained consciousness.

Chapter Text

Xelqua groaned as they woke up, feeling a lot of pain in their body. It was sharp, a tight pain that you would normally have if you have a tense muscle. They felt that exact pain all over, groaning as they turned to get more comfortable, feeling soft, warm covers over them. They say up, hissing in pain as they tried to open their other eyes to find out they couldn't.

It was like something was making it so they couldn't use their Watcher abilities; it was frustrating to say the least. The extra weight on their hands soon became very apparent, it was heavy and it felt like they were wristbands that were made out of metal. Xelqua gasped as they took in their surroundings, frantically looking around to see an unfamiliar place.

The walls were white and so was the flooring, the bed a red color with the most comfortable mattress and covers Xelqua had ever slept on, the lights a horrible color that made Xelqua’s eyes squint from the intensity of the brightness, and a small desk was near the bed Xelqua was on, a chair in front of it. They were confused, they don't remember how they ended up here, everything felt fuzzy. They got up and wobbled, leaning against a wall as their whole body burned with pain, their eyes looking around crazily as they tried to remember how they got here.

Xelqua groaned as they fell and slumped against the wall, the pain being too overwhelming for them to stand up any longer. It was like a thousand nether rite swords were stabbing them repeatedly, the sensation itching its way into Xelqua’s skin as they mumbled and moaned in horrid pain. They wanted it to stop, the burning of the pain being too great as they huffed out no air, still not breathing. They were glad they didn’t have to breathe as they were pretty sure they would be hyperventilating right now if they did have to breathe, it was one of the only good things that One and Two did to them.

They slowly stood up, limping while whining in pain as they made their way towards the bed. The sheets and warmth it had moments ago welcomed Xelqua with open arms as they slumped back into it, relishing in the warmth they sought so badly. They wanted to lay awake in the blissful warmth the sheets provided, the same thing it brought them comfort so many times whenever Xelqua was able to grab onto it the very few times they could. They felt themselves sink into the mattress below, sighing as the cotton and wool that was used to make the bed, the feeling being fuzzy. Xelqua groaned as another wave of nausea hit them full-force, making them gag as they whined.

They sat up and pulled the covers around themselves, afraid to throw up as more waves of nausea began to strike them. They whined and coughed, twisting and turning as they laid back down when no bile of puke arose in their throat. The door began to open and Xelqua sat up, their hand holding their head as a figure that was blurry to Xelqua made its way towards them.

“Can you understand me?” The figure asked, snapping their fingers in front of Xelqua’s eyes. They flinched back as their eyes began to focus properly, they were greeted with the Voidwalker from before, wearing a helmet that only showed their eyes. “Guess you can, do you not speak?”

Xelqua shook their head, backing away in fear. They looked at the Voidwalker, not wanting to possibly ‘say’ anything that might get them killed. “Right, do you at least know sign language?”

Xelqua vaguely knew sign language, they used it to communicate with One and Two since they had their voice taken away, but not enough to fully communicate. They nodded their head and also shook it from side to side, trying to explain that they weren't the best with sign language without using any words.

“Somewhat… Okay, what kind of sign language of you know?”

There were different kinds of sign language? Xelqua was confused and shrugged, they signed, ‘I don't know,’ and the Voidwalker seemed to understand what kind of sign language it was.

“VSL, Okay… Can you at least spell your name?” The Voidwalker’s tone hasn't stopped being cold since they entered the room. Xelqua nodded, trying to remember how they could fingerspell their own name.

‘X.’

“X. What’s next?”

‘E.’

“E.”

‘L.’

“L…”

‘Q.’

“Q?” Xelqua ignored the confused tone and continued to sign.

‘U.’

“U…”

‘A. Done.’

“A… So, your name is Xelqua?”

They nodded and backed away completely into the wall, curling their wings to cover them. They didn't like the VoidWalker looking right at them, their cold purple eyes boring into them with their purple color. Such beings of the Void always scared Xelqua, Voidwalkers especially. Most of them turned out to be either regular players or warriors of the voids, and a very small amount rarely became admins. If any Voidwalkers became admins, it either meant chaos or the Voidwalker vanishing from existence completely. Xelqua now knew it was because they were hiding their worlds and servers from the Watchers.

“Okay, Xelqua, let's talk about a few things…” Xelqua winced at the sudden shift in tone. It had gone from cold to dark and menacing. They shuffled on the bed and pulled the covers up to their chest, sighing softly before signing.

‘What you want talk about?’ Xelqua tried to sign to the best of their abilities as they signed shakily.

“I want to talk about what we're gonna do with you,” Xelqua felt their whole body freeze up, not liking where this was going. “You’re extremely lucky that we had three of our hermits beg us to not murder you and strain your blood.”

Xelqua felt their wings flare out and they shuffled as the Voidwalker got closer. The Voidwalker lifted their hand to make a gesture and Xelqua flinched hard. They closed their eyes and felt no impact, nothing hitting or hurting them. It was like the Voidwalker was teasing them like they knew that Xelqua was afraid of them or something, and Xelqua hated it.

They wearily opened their eyes, seeing the Voidwalker pointing at them, their eyes soulless with an expression that was unreadable. “You, Watcher, are lucky to still be alive. Mess up and we’ll give you a date worse than death, got it?” Xelqua nodded their head frantically, their knuckles going from the black void it had turning into a light grey from how hard they were gripping. They watched as the Voidwalker went out the door before letting a gasp of relief, sighing as they gulped. They felt nauseous and dizzy, like if they were to stand up they would collapse onto the floor and fall face first.

They shakily went back under the covers, but the warmth from earlier was gone. It was replaced with the coldness that Xelqua was all too familiar with, something they hated so much. The coldness haunted Xelqua ever since One and Two made them a Watcher, it was something Xelqua wanted to rid the whole universe of, to leave the coldness to rot and die. To leave it all behind so that only the warmth could be allowed to exist, that was all they ever wanted. To feel warm and be warm forever.

They whimpered as the pain continued to rock through their body, it was becoming unbearable. They weren't sure if they could ever fly again after this, they knew that One and Two modified something with their body, and injuries like this never seemed to heal no matter how much time had gone by; Xelqua would need One and Two to fix them up after they got more injuries. They didn't like pain, it was something that reminded them of One and Two, and they hated it. It was something that would continue to torture them, to forever ruin them of any sense of compassion, happiness, anger, sadness, things that made Xelqua—Xelqua.

They lied back as they continued to sob and whimper in pain, wishing it would all end. They sucked in a breath, breathing once more, as they felt a sharp pain in their back. It felt hot and sharp, warmth seeping in from their back as they went limp, but they didn’t mind it as the warmth returned. Finally having the thing they very much desired back in them once more, the heat and pain continued to spread throughout their body. They didn’t mind this kind of pain, it was comforting, even if it made Xelqua want to scream and cry out in pain, to finally have someone to hear their cries as they fell into the pain of this warm hurtful abyss. Their wings were twitching as more pain shot through them, leaving no part of their wings untouched as the pain continued to leave Xelqua sobbing in its wake.

They wanted for someone to hear them cry, to finally be heard—even if they were dying. It certainly felt like it, sobbing as more pain shot through them. It was becoming unbearable, the warmth being so warm it made Xelqua sweat. Tears streaming down their cheeks and under their jaw, staining their skin as their neck now became wet. Tears continued to flow through their eyes, staining their skin as they spilled, Xelqua wanted to cry and scream. They weren’t sure if they were crying of the pain or if it was something else, they wouldn’t ever know.

They sat in the bed, wishing for it all to end as the pain continued to grow. The heat worsening as it flared through their whole body, the warmth that Xelqua once wanted was now too much for them to handle. They twisted and turned in the bed, tearing the blankets off them, praying it would relieve some of the heat and pain they were currently suffering, sobbing as it only got worse. Xelqua shakily got up and groaned, feeling nausea wash over them like a tidal wave, but the feeling of needing to puke never came. They just paced back and forth to hopefully forget about the pain that burned their body in its delicious painful warmth.

They stumbled as they tripped over their own robes, sobbing as they collided with the ground below. They sobbed loudly, the pain and nausea continuing to torment them as it only got worse. The cramping in their wings got worse with time, but they shouldn’t be complaining, One and Two did worse. Xelqua had no real reason to cry and scream, One and Two had done much worse to them, to make them truly suffer. They should be grateful this kind of pain wasn’t as bad as the pain that One and Two forced them to go through, to feel cold and never feel the warmth they so desperately desired to have. They craved to hold onto something to give them warmth for eternity, to sob out of happiness as they finally feel the heat they want so badly.

Xelqua forced themselves to get up, to lay back on the bed and sleep it off. They couldn’t though, sleep never came, Watchers didn’t need it. They coughed as blood spewed from their mouth, a deep black spilling onto their chin as they sobbed, wishing it would all stop—even for a second to feel some relief. They collapsed as their body hit the bed, the coolness of the bedsheets soothing the heat on their body, but it returned more ferociously this time. They finally screamed, a loud sound erupting from their throat as the pain became too much, someone must’ve heard because someone came through the door not long after.

“What’s going on?!” Xelqua heard as they continued to cough up blood, sobbing as the pain got worse, the itching feeling seeping into their skin as it worsened. They screamed as the burning feeling reached their heart, or what should've been their heart. They were unsure if they still had a heart, One and Two modified them so much that it was hard to tell what was and wasn't fully a part of them. “Xisuma! Get in here!” That voice…

It was that voice that Xelqua liked, it made them feel comfortable and safe. They gasped as they coughed more blood, they could feel circles being rubbed into their back as they coughed more blood. Muffled ringing filled their ears, blocking out the sounds of voices that were speaking to them, begging them to tell them what was going on. Xelqua couldn't describe it, they gasped as more blood spilled from their mouth, tainting and staining the sheets below, cursed to smell like iron and metal till the end of time.

They lifted their head and turned to see who was with them, Scar and the Voidwalker. Scar looked worried as he talked to the Voidwalker, they couldn't hear anything they were saying as everything was muffled. Like they were drowning in cold dark water, forced to only watch everything around them just like before. They watched as another person entered the room, another hybrid with a cybernetic arm and eye, something about them made Xelqua scared. They were carrying something, many needles could be seen as Xelqua shrieked as the hybrid came closer to them. Scared, of what the hybrid would do to them once they had them in their grasp.

The Voidwalker held Xelqua down as they screeched, sobbing to get away with no voice to speak their words and worries. They sobbed as they looked over to Scar who could only look at them with pity, not even he would help. All people were the same. Xelqua tried to use their abilities, desperate to get away from the pain they were currently in and to get away from the people who were keeping them captive against their will. They screamed as more pain shot through their body as they tried to use the only abilities that could keep them safe while also bringing more pain. They kicked and screamed at the hybrid who looked unamused and stabbed Xelqua with a syringe.

Xelqua fell limp, sobbing as the liquid burned their insides, the liquid going from warm to cool. The heat and pain from their body faded in an instant and nothing but cool sweet relief washing over their body as they went completely limp. It was nice, to finally stop feeling the pain that was tearing them apart, to rip their soul from their body as they finally stopped coughing blood. Their limbs felt like jelly as they were picked up, being held as they watched the hybrid with cybernetic limbs change the sheets of the bed with new ones, “Tsk, only just had these out on a day ago.” Xelqua wanted to giggle, but they couldn't. They didn't have the energy to laugh or even make noises of acknowledgment.

“You, uh– okay?” Scar asked Xelqua, they didn't have the energy to ask as they tried to touch the ground. They were let down as they slumped against a wall, groaning as they slid down to the floor. They covered their eyes with their aural wings so they didn't have to see anything, they just wanted some peace and quiet. They sighed as their back hit the wall, they groaned as one of the people in the room tried to drag them upwards to get them to stand, they only responded with a hiss and a huff. They were content on the floor and would stay there until they heard a voice with a heavy accent speak to them.

“If you behave we’ll give you food.”

Food? It wasn't something Xelqua was familiar with yes they had seen players eating food when they watched—but they had never tried it themselves. ‘Food? What it taste like?’ Xelqua signed, taking one of their aural wings off their eyes and looking over to the Voidwalker.

“Its taste varies on what you eat,” said the Voidwalker.

‘Sound gross.’ Xelqua cringed, the Voidwalker huffed as they managed to drag Xelqua to the bed. They didn't really care if Xelqua was in pain or not, but the sobbing and screaming Xelqua had done was annoying.

“Think you’ll like it.” was all the Voidwalker said as they left with the hybrid, leaving only Scar in the room who had his eyes shifted to the side as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Sorry, I didn't do much to help you…” a breath was sucked in, “It’s just that Doc was trying to put some medicine in and he needed you still,” explained Scar, Xelqua only nodded and groaned as they felt uncomfortably cold now. A bitter feeling compared to the unbearable beat from before. It was sickening, a chilling feeling going into their skin to rest in as it made Xelqua want to cry and sob.

“I brought some elven cookies if you'd like?” offered Scar, holding out a small bag of cookies that looked delicious. Xelqua nodded slowly, feeling a cookie in one of their hands as Scar placed one. They cautiously bit into it, the texture of the food being warm, comforting, soft, chewy, and just perfect overall. It made Xelqua’s insides tingle all over, the feeling that Xelqua now wanted to keep forever. It was warm and reassuring, the taste of it divine, it oddly tasted fruity, the purple frosting of the cookie being sweet.

“Good?” questioned Scar with a chuckle, Xelqua nodded enthusiastically. They took another bite, savoring the taste this time, letting it melt into their mouth as they let out a soft moan of approval. Nothing could ever compare to this, it was all Xelqua would need now, living off the elven cookies that Scar made. They were simply divine. Too good not to be eaten.

Scar chuckled as Xelqua continued to stuff their face with the cookie, letting out small noises of approval while having their tastebuds pleasured by the sweet cookie. “Say, how would you like to try more cookies the next time I visit?” Scar asked him, his smile being wide, a sweet one at that. Xelqua nodded as they finished off the cookie, looking at the crumbs on their fingertips and cringing, unsure as to how they were supposed to get the crumbs off. Scar was currently trying his best to not burst out laughing and instead help out Xelqua who was visibly confused, “You can lick it off or wipe it off.”

Xelqua just stared as they slowly licked the crumbs off their fingertips, swallowing the crumbs as they felt that nice warm taste run down their throat once more. They could feel themselves relaxing around Scar, their wings slowly spreading out to rest on the bed below, they hummed as they licked every crumb off, their tongue still sticking out.

They didn't mind that Scar was watching them, if it was any other person they might be freaked out and grow feral, but with Scar they felt okay enough. Maybe it was because Scar had shown them kindness and hadn't tried to turn them in immediately. They were grateful for that, to be shown kindness and not be killed straight off. They wished they could thank him though, not being able to speak was difficult when trying to communicate with others. It wasn't very hard with One and Two, but with other people now—it was difficult.

“On a scale of one to ten, how good is it? One being the lowest and the ten being the highest!” Scar looked at them eagerly, waiting for their answer. They stuck up ten fingers, they loved every second of eating Scar’s cookies, the frosting of them, the taste of them, pretty much everything of the cookies was the best. “Oh, good!” Scar seemed to be delighted with Xelqua saying that they liked his cookies, he did try his best after all.

Xelqua hummed as they listened to Scar ramble on about things he was passionate about, like his buildings and cookies. They could listen forever. Even though the conversation was more one-sided than anything, Xelqua liked listening, even if it was the only thing they could do. It wasn't all bad though, it was nice to listen to people ramble about things they liked doing.

“—And he just blew me up! Can you believe that?” Scar was pouting now, he was explaining that he was trying to finish a build before another hermit blew him up. Xelqua giggled as Scar complained, they liked listening to Scar ramble on and on. It felt therapeutic to listen, they almost forgot they were pretty much in captivity—keyword almost.

They looked at Scar fondly, happy to be shown kindness when they didn't deserve it, it felt nice to be appreciated for once. Even if it may not last long.

Chapter Text

Xelqua was bored, insanely bored. Being stuck inside with nothing to suppress the feeling of boredom was bothersome. They spent most of their time just laying awake, they would sleep if they could. Sleep wasn't something that Xelqua was familiar with, they never needed to sleep since their body had been modified.

They sat up and stretched, groaning as their wings ached with pain from the uncomfortable position they were lying in for too long. They could never tell the time, there was no clock for them to read and they didn't want to disturb the people that were keeping them captive. It just wasn't fun to be locked up without knowing how long they had been in there, they could lose their sanity at any moment, and they wouldn't know how long till then.

Everything was becoming hazy, one minute they were feeling great, and the next, they felt like they were dying. They were in a constant state of just staring at the ceiling, waiting till something happened, they don’t even remember how long ago Scar had visited them. They just wanted something to do, even if it was a kid's book to read or a game to play, they were just so bored.

They got up and began to pace around the room, ignoring the pain they felt in their body as they walked. They just needed this one thing to keep their mind busy so they wouldn't succumb to madness. It was painful to be in this sort of state, Xelqua wouldn't even mind having that admin talk to them even if the admin would be upset.

They groaned dramatically as they went back onto the bed, slumping on it. It wasn’t as soft as they remembered, maybe they were starting to go insane already. Maybe they were becoming more undone by the second and they didn’t know—

“Xelqua, you have visitors.”

A voice, a voice they haven’t heard from in a while—only a day—and they were so glad to hear it. They saw Scar and another person ‘walk in.’ Scar wasn’t exactly walking as he was somehow floating, some sort of magic Xelqua wouldn’t be able to understand, and the other person was seemingly a bit nervous. They had a mustache which Xelqua liked, it fit the person and they couldn’t imagine the person without a mustache.

“Hey! Oh, wait! I don’t know what your name is, did you tell Xisuma it?” Scar suddenly questioned his face in both surprise and shock for a reason Xelqua didn’t understand. They didn’t know who Xisuma was so they tilted their head.

“I’m pretty sure Xisuma just said it, Scar, I think it was Xelquila?” The other man said as Xelqua burst out with laughter. It was hilarious hearing their name being pronounced as the drink, tequila, would be pronounced.

They collected themselves as they looked at the two men before them, they shook their head before nodding it. They were trying to signal that the other man that was beside Scar was somewhat close to saying their name properly.

“Did I say it wrong?” The man with a mustache asked, Xelqua nodded, and they hummed and shook their hand in a weird way.

The two men were left confused by the hand motions that Xelqua was doing, they couldn’t understand what they were trying to say. Scar knew that Xisuma could understand Xelqua’s hand signs but he couldn’t.

Xelqua frowned as they realized that Scar and the other person couldn’t understand them, it was difficult communicating without the ability to speak. They wished they could tell them but they couldn't. Their vocal cords were removed from their code, eating shouldn't have been possible for them; or at the very least, difficult, but it wasn't at all. Though, they shouldn't be able to make the noises they can make, like screaming and groaning. All of this was hurting their head to think about. Code was weird, without vocal cords they couldn't make sound, but they could, what did One and Two exactly do to their voice?

They soon began to space out, some things didn't make any sense. Though a part could be explained due to how heavily their body was modified, it still didn't explain everything to Xelqua. They kept thinking, getting themselves deeper into the small abyss of endless thoughts, but something touched their shoulder.

“Aah!” Xelqua screamed, their wings puffed up into the air and they backed away into a corner. Their chest felt tight as they looked the man they didn't know the name staring right at them.

“Ah, sorry, just wanted to tell you that Scar went to get Xisuma to grab a journal for you to communicate with us,” he explained, chuckling nervously.

Xelqua sighed in relief as the man in front of them apologized, genuinely being sorry for scaring them out of their thoughts. They relaxed their shoulders and wings, swaying their feet off the bed as they hummed. There wasn't much they could do since they couldn't really talk to the man in the room with them. They listened as the guy started whistling, it was a nice soft tune that made Xelqua feel more comfortable.

It was nice listening to the whistling, they stared at the man who stood awkwardly. He was probably trying to distract himself till Scar got back. Xelqua got up and walked over to the man, tapping his shoulder gently as they managed to scare the man back in return. His eyes wide and his shoulders tense, Xelqua snickered as they held their hands up apologetically. The man seemed to relax a bit, a soft chuckle escaped his mouth.

They went back over to the bed and sat down, patting a spot right next to them.

“You want me to… sit next to you?” The man asked, his face showing uncertainty while standing awkwardly.

Xelqua nodded and smiled, they watched as he sat down next to them, still keeping some distance. Xelqua then put out their hands, sticking out their index fingers, they wanted to play a simple game called “sticks.” They often watched many young children play this game and it was easy enough for them to memorize it, they even played it with Two a few times. Although they hated Two, it was nice that Two still played childish games with them a few times back in the earlier years.

“You want to play… sticks?” Asked the man, Xelqua nodded and smiled at him. They were glad when the other person agreed, they both tried to use the same strategy, making the game go on for far longer than it should've.

The two giggled and then the man decided to say something that he had forgotten to bring up, “I didn't give you my name, did I?”

Xelqua shook their head, for what felt like the hundredth time, and waited to hear the name of the person in front of them.

“It’s Mumbo, I’m sure you already know Scar.”

They nodded as they listened to Mumbo talk while playing, and the door opened. Xelqua saw Scar and the Voidwalker, a journal and pen were present.

“Here is a pen and journal for you to write in and communicate with, Xelqua,” the Voidwalker told them, giving them the items as they left.

Xelqua was going to thank the Voidwalker but they had already gone, leaving them alone with Mumbo and Scar. They began to write down in the journal, thankful that they somehow knew how to write. “My name is Xelqua.”

“Xelqua, huh? That's a unique name!” Scar chuckled, smiling as he watched Xelqua and Mumbo playing another round of sticks.

It was a calming atmosphere, hearing Scar and Mumbo talk about their builds and redstone as Xelqua listened in. Mumbo was a funny man, he had a calming accent as he spoke, Scar’s accent being much more rougher. They hummed as they watched Scar sigh as Mumbo beat him in a round.

They wrote down in their journal, “Not even close either.”

They chuckled hoarsely as they watched Scar pout. He huffed as he shrugged his shoulders, saying, “Well, at least I had fun!” Scar seemed to always look on the bright side according to Xelqua. It was nice to see a person have a lot of positivity, Mumbo was quite positive himself.

Xelqua could feel themselves being more open by the second with these two, they just had this certain energy that could make anyone feel at ease and not worry about a thing. It was a nice change of pace from the admin and that goat hybrid that made them feel icky.

They sighed and yawned, they didn’t know why they did but it was just something their body decided to do. “Feeling tired?” Asks Scar, his smile making Xelqua want to smile as well.

They shrugged, unsure as to what tired really meant to them. As a Watcher, sleep wasn't a problem since the void always gave into One and Two’s demands, but never Xelqua’s. They grabbed their newly acquired journal to write in, “Never really felt ‘tired’ before so I’m unsure.”

“Never felt tired? Maybe being on this server will allow you to be tired for once,” Mumbo commented, staring at the journal go which Xelqua shrugged again.

They laid back against the bed, purring softly as they felt the warmth of the sheets surround them. “Ah, think that’s our time to leave, Scar,” Mumbo spoke, gesturing to Scar as they both got up.

“Oh, yeah!” Scar yelled as he brought out something, another bag of cookies. “Forgot to give these to you earlier, here!” He held out the cookies for Xelqua to take, smiling warmly as the deity took them graciously, yawning.

They waved goodbye to the two as they left, leaving Xelqua to themselves. They hummed as they opened the bag and took a cookie, placing it into their mouth. It was perfect as expected, Xelqua didn't know how Scar did it but the cookies were something Xelqua now desperately craved in their life. It was far too good.

They felt themselves growing tired, at least that’s what they thought tired felt like. Their eyes drooping, their shoulders tense, their breathing slow, a slight soreness through their body, and a sense of uncomfortableness floating around in their body.

They shifted around in the covers, yawns flying from their mouth as they closed their eyes. The two human eyes they could only open on this world, forced to play as human when they're not. A hazy feeling of softness and warmth began to wash over them, leaving them floating in it.

Xelqua gasped suddenly, sitting up from shock as they grabbed their chest and breathed impossibly quickly. Beads of sweat were running down their forehead, they had dreamt of something. Something that they never knew they could do, dream.

They stopped their breathing to take in the present moment, hoping to remember what they were dreaming about.

“Oh, [REDACTED]!” A woman with a heavy accent called out to them, her face being blocked out with the black of the void. “I was wondering where you were!”

Xelqua(?) giggled, they clutched their stomach as they shook their head, “Sorry, me and [REDACTED] just goofed around,” they apologized.

“Oh, you and [REDACTED] always doing stupid stuff, what’da ya’ll do this time?” [REDACTED] asks, her head swinging from side to side as her voice was filled with sugar.

“Nothing much really, just goofin around!” Xelqua(?) told [REDACTED], smiling at her as she walked towards them. Him? They were confused.

“You know, we miss the old you, the one who isn't a Watcher?” [REDACTED] confessed, her voice becoming robotic, and Xelqua(?) stood up in shock.

“What do you mean? I've always been a Watcher,” Xelqua(?) was confused, for as long as they knew, they were a Watcher.

“No, you used to be someone else, someone we could actually love. We despise you for the amount of pain you've caused us, most died.”

The dream was weird, it was something that left Xelqua aching. Their chest heaved with an empty feeling, it felt gross. Something should've been in their chest creating warmth, but there wasn't anything. It made Xelqua sob.

Their soft cries rang throughout the room, gasps and whimpers flying from their mouth as their lips quivered. Their body was shaking with worry as they hugged themselves, their wings curling in to protect themselves and hide them away from the cruel universe. Tears stained their cheek, leaving them feeling gross, sticky, and stiff.

They put their head on their knees, wanting to hide away forever, something wasn't right. The dream made them want to sob and cry, spend their time ranting to someone who would listen to them for on and on. Xelqua choked on a sob, laying back down comfortably in the bed, their wings hanging off the side as they stopped crying.

Watchers weren't supposed to cry, after all, they weren't human. They shouldn't be trying to play as human knowing their powers could kill anyone in the blink of an eye.

Chapter Text

Entry #1:

Xelqua stared at the blank page in front of them, pondering on what to write about their time on this server so far. They sighed as they let their hand take over.

Entry #1:

I am not exactly sure on how long I’ve been on this server but it has been interesting. The Voidwalker who is also the admin, named Xisuma, has put me in this room where I cannot do anything. My powers have been forced away by some chains around my wrists, but it’s nice to feel player-like for once. Though I hate how boring this place is, I am forced to either write or possibly play games with myself.

The players seem to be on two sides from what I’m seeing.

Side one: Kill me.

Side two: Don’t kill me.

So far the hermits (which is what they are called) that I’ve met seem okay, one is named Scar, and the other Mumbo. Scar makes wonderful cookies, I absolutely love them. Mumbo is very sweet, he plays sticks with me which I very much enjoy. I adore spending time with Scar and Mumbo, they have visited me around five times now. It had taken me a while to figure out the admin’s name if I were to be honest.

Scar and Mumbo said they were going to introduce me to new people, but I’m afraid. Afraid that they will try and kill me, I know that I’m a Watcher but I still do not want to die. I can only hope that I can tell them of my worries, I cannot speak no matter how hard I try. Whatever One and Two did to me had caused me to feel trapped in my own body, I have a mouth but I cannot speak. I have the need to scream, I can scream all I want, but I can never speak.

Xelqua heaved out a sigh as they jotted their emotions down. They closed the journal and swung their feet, still very bored from doing nothing. Some of the foods they had eaten felt oddly familiar, but they were unsure as to why. They stood up and spread their wings out, wishing they didn't have so many. The wings themselves made Xelqua look like an Angel, something they didn't want to be.

They were about to begin preening when a knock on the door was heard, it swung open to reveal Scar and Mumbo, along with two other people. “Hey, Xelqua!”

Xelqua smiled and waved, grabbing their journal and pen to write with. “This is Cub and Tango!” Scar pointed at the two, but Xelqua couldn't help but notice something different about him.

“Why is your hair longer? And why are your wings gone?”

They watched as Scar examined the journal and began laughing, “I just decided to be an Elf!”

Xelqua was even more confused on how these players worked, just deciding which hybrid they wanted to be at will?! “How?”

Scar chuckled, “Well us hermits can switch between hybrids! But some of us can’t like Doc or Xisuma, I can only switch between three.”

Xelqua hummed as they nodded, feeling uncomfortable as they felt Tango’s glare on them. They were creeped out, feeling watched instead of watching themselves. They backed up a bit, clutching the journal close to their chest as they heard someone clear their throat.

“So… why does it not speak?”

Xelqua groaned at that question, finding it difficult to write now.

“I can’t speak, my vocal cords have been modified to the point where I am only able to scream, groan, and sometimes yelp.” They quickly jotted it down and showed it to Tango and Cub.

“Modified? But that’s almost impossible to do,” the person with red hair, Xelqua who assumed it was Tango, commented.

“Modification might be difficult to do but it's not impossible, especially since Watchers have all kinds of abilities. Apart from me of course.”

Cub seemed confused, looking Xelqua up and down in a way that made them feel small. “What do you mean ‘apart from you,’ cause you're one of them.”

Xelqua sucked in their breath and didn't have it out, deciding to keep it stuck in their throat.

“I was treated as if I was a doll, nothing more to those Watchers.”

They watched as their faces had uneasiness written all over them, they flipped the page to scribble something else instead. “Play hangman?”

“Uhm…” Cub murmured, Xelqua sighed as they knew how uncomfortable the situation was now. It was frustrating to be in situations like this, to not speak and pray that the moment just moves on. They sat on their bed and motioned for the others to sit down, scribbling into their journal again.

“Let’s just ignore what I had said earlier and play some childish games instead.”

“And play some what games?” Scar had asked, Xelqua knew by now that Scar had dyslexia so they gestured over to one of the others to explain to him.

“Childish, Scar, the Watcher wants us to play some children's games instead,” Tango thankfully got the memo. Xelqua silently thanked him by signing and handed the journal over to Mumbo, they watched as he thought of a word and placed multiple guess tiles down.

Xelqua hummed as they watched the others play, they didn't want to play themselves; the game was just a distraction for them so Xelqua could write in their other journal. Xisuma had gifted them another journal and pen for them to do whatever in, which they were mostly using for entries and sketches. It was calming, listening to the other four men laugh and joke around as they sketched down something.

They chewed on their pen as they tried to add some side notes to what they drew. When the slightest bit of drool touched their fingers, they stopped chewing on the pen, grossing themselves out. They heard a soft chuckle to which they paid no attention to, they were too focused on the drawing in front of them to even realize someone was watching them.

Xelqua carefully placed lines to match what they saw, remembering what the portal that brought them here looked like. They remembered how battered up it was before it had disappeared, spewing them out one last time before it died. They just needed to know what it was, because the magic it omitted was powerful, strong.

They had pressed down more on the paper to create darker lines, slightly trying to shade in some bits to hopefully recreate the image they had in their head. Time seemed to stop, everything was still as Xelqua drew, drew what was popping up into their head, and writing side notes.

Note 1:

Portal seemed to throw me out when I had first arrived. Painful, but still mysterious. It seemed to have large cracks forming around it. The glow had died down when I had gotten up, it only fading after as I looked back at it once more. Not like other portals that players on servers use when entering The End or the Nether.

Good. That was good enough for Xelqua’s tastes. They placed down the pen and closed the journal, it was just good enough for their research. Research that might not ever be finished as they only got to see that portal once, but it wasn't even a portal. More like a rift, breaking into the server as it threw out Xelqua, never giving them the chance to escape if they even had considered it.

Xelqua let out a sigh, leaning back expecting the wall to hit them. The wall from earlier wasn't there; it had been replaced with something softer, but still firm, and it was oddly warm. They quickly realized it was a chest, and they turned to see Scar smiling down at them, “Hey Xelqua, whatcha doin’?”

The next few moments had happened all too quickly, if you were to ask anyone that was in the room, they would probably describe it as this. Xelqua had screamed, forgetting that they were not alone, the surprise greeting from Scar had scared them, as they screamed they had pushed themselves away, falling off the bed and onto the floor, wings flapping all over the place as they stilled once they had come into contact with the floor beneath. They somehow managed to hit themselves in the face with their aural wings, feathers were all over the place as they began to blush furiously from embarrassment.

“Oh, sorry Xelqua!” Scar apologized as he stuck out an arm for the Watcher in front of him, who gingerly took it. They covered their face with their aural wings, too embarrassed to look at anyone. They ended up covering their entire body with their wings, fiddling with their hands as they could hear slight chuckles.

“I can make it up to you with cookies?” Scar offered, feeling guilty as Xelqua peered out from their wings. They slowly nodded and lowered their wings, taking the cookies that Scar was giving to them, having a very small smile on their face. They covered themselves up once more as they felt stares on them again, hating every second of the feeling of being watched. It was too much for them, they were easily overwhelmed when they were being watched. It was like a reminder of what they were, a Watcher.

Xelqua heard the door open, “I need to have a chat with Xelqua,” it was Xisuma. They could hear an upset groan from Scar, it made their heart strain a bit, wanting to talk a bit longer. They heard the door close and they peeked out, seeing Xisuma right in front of them.

‘What you need?’ They asked, signing as they uncovered themselves.

Xisuma didn't really say much but was willing to answer Xelqua’s question. “Just need a blood sample. Zedaph, one of our hermits, and Doc, the other hermit from a while ago, want to examine it.”

‘Okay, what arm you need from?’ Xelqua then questioned, holding out their arms. A part of them would be lying if they were to ‘say’ that they weren't nervous; because they were absolutely terrified. Having a few players on the server wanting to examine their blood had sent chills down their spine, it was an uneasy feeling.

“Either works and don't worry, it won't take too long,” Xisuma said as he put on gloves, grabbing what looked like a vial and a needle that had a tube connected to it. “Now, I won’t lie to you, because this will hurt. I need you to stay still no matter how painful the sting is,” now Xelqua was even more terrified.

They stuck out their left arm and lifted up the tattered sleeve of their robes, bent their elbow, and straightened it for Xisuma to do what he needed to do. Though before Xisuma could prick their skin, they stopped him. ‘I thought you wanted talk with me?’ They signed, huffing slightly as they slid away from the admin.

“Well, I do, but I need to do this first. So, please stick out your am again.”

Xelqua huffed like a child, pouting as they did what Xisuma asked them to do. They didn't ready themselves fast enough, once they had felt the alcohol wipes and the band around their arm, they thought that was it. It wasn't.

They screamed and pulled their arm back as the needle punctured the skin, Xisuka held them down as he filled the vial with enough blood. “Sorry, didn't warn you.”

‘No need say sorry, it fine.” Xelqua signed as Xisuma had put a bandaid on, they almost jumped back in surprise when Xisuma tried to hand them something.

“Scar had mentioned to me that you're frequently tripping over your robes, he asked me personally to give you these.”

The box that had been given to them was now opened, it held a red sweater with black pants and shoes. The sweater had a large enough hole in the back for the six wings that were on their back. The texture of the clothing was absolutely perfect, but Xelqua didn't really want to wear shoes. Two had made them wear shoes once, but it didn't go well. They had thrown a fit and were locked up for a day after that, but it wasn't their fault that they didn't like the shoes!

“Don't like it or…?” Xisuma pulled them away from their thoughts, looking at them eagerly for an answer.

‘They are good, I liked them. Tell Scar I say thank you.’

“Will do, also I’ll have Impulse bring you food instead of me this time,” Xisuma waved goodbye as he left, leaving Xelqua to their thoughts once more.

They slowly changed out of their robes and into the clothes that were given to them, the red sweater being the most comfortable thing they’d ever worn; which wasn't much in all fairness. They adored how the sweater was, the shade of red was absolutely perfect, and how it fitted them was even better. It was like they could hide in the sweater and still be content, it being something so simple yet so amazing to them that it made them want to cry from happiness.

They threw themselves onto the chair they had, opening the small bag of cookies Scar had given them to eat. It felt like each time Scar visited, Xelqua would anticipatedly wait for Scar to give them cookies. The way he baked them was simply divine, and Xelqua didn't want it any other way. They just hoped that they wouldn't end up dead once they were out of this small yet perfect prison they were trapped in.

Chapter Text

The gentle rapping on the door alerted Xelqua, they were too busy in their thoughts to even notice it at first. The sound only alerted them after a second time it had happened, someone was at the door, but they couldn’t answer vocally. They got up and knocked back, the door opened in their face, freedom was in their grasp; but they didn’t take the chance. It wasn’t like they could do anything anyway.

“Xelqua, right?”

A nod.

“Well, I have your food here, uhm…”

Of course. It was an awkward silence as always, nothing ever changed. The tray was given to them, it had soup, a piece of bread, and some sort of ginger ale. A sick child’s meal for whenever they had the cold, is that what they were really feeding Xelqua? Granted that they didn’t mind, but this was the kind of meal they watched many children eat on world servers.

“Is there something wrong with it…?” Right, they weren’t alone.

‘No, all good. Thank you.’ They signed, quickly glancing at the man in front of them who only looked confused. ‘What?’

“What are you doing with your hands?”

Oh, right.

Players didn't really understand sign language from what Xelqua understood, as most players weren't deaf, hard of hearing, or mute. They grabbed their journal, flipping through many pages with text on them till they found an empty one.

“I cannot talk so therefore I must sign or write.”

“Oh, uh, I don't know what to say to that…”

Xelqua began to scribble once more. “I completely understand, I never expected you to say anything either way.”

They watched as the person left, they remember Xisuma calling them ‘Impulse’? They didn't really know but they sat down and looked at the food in front of them. It smelt good, steam arising from the top of the soup as they grabbed a spoon. One bite, or slurp really, had warmth immediately fill their mouth, a savory yet sweet taste that rubbed them in a good way. Why didn't children eat like this all the time? It was too good of a combination not to enjoy.

They slowly ate, savoring the moment as they continued to feed. It had been a while since they had actually eaten, while they didn't need to eat player food as they didn't starve, they still needed energy from players. Negative emotions that made the Watchers as powerful as they are, and Xelqua was growing weaker by the minute. They weren't able to feed like they used to, being forced into cuffs that chained them down. They shook their head to get rid of that train of thought, shivering as they reminded themselves that they had to act normal.

They finished eating and set aside the tray, waiting for Xisuma to come back and collect it. They looked at the clothes on them, they felt a bit big but it was probably because it was hard to make out their figure under the clothing. They still loved it nonetheless, it was all the warmer anyway. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours of waiting. They sighed as they began to cut their robes with their nails, removing the symbol of the Watchers off from it, wanting to forget their past with them.

More rapping was on the door, a certain pattern that Xelqua has begun to recognize now, Xisuma’s. “It’s me.” The door opened to reveal the same man Grian had once feared.

‘Good day.’

“Good day to you as well, I was gonna take you out but do you want to is the question?”

‘Out what?’

“Outside, with the cuffs still on.”

“Yes, I want.”

Xisuma might've been smiling, Xelqua couldn't tell but could see his cheeks rise up through his mask. They got up as Xisuma grabbed the tray, the two walking out the door as Xelqua clutched their journals to their chest tightly. They were ecstatic to finally be outside for once! They followed Xisuma outside and sucked in a breath, taking in the awe and beauty of the HermitCraft server. It was magnificent.

They followed Xisuma to where it looked like a bunch of shops were, “Here, you know how to use this, right?”

It was a fishing rod. Of course, Xelqua knew how to use it, they've observed people using it in servers all the time! So surely they were an expert on it. Right?

Wrong.

They knew nothing.

It was going horribly, water was now all over the sweater that they were wearing and their wings. It felt as if they were out in the rain for hours on end, playing in it like a child, but that had not happened at all. They huffed as Xisuma laughed at them, they were embarrassed, to say the least. They put the fishing rod down beside them, sighing as they were ready to give up until Xisuma put it back into their hands. “Come on, don't give up.”

‘I want.’

“How about I help you, here, stick out the rod for me?”

Xelqua felt their stomach swirl with uneasiness, but so far the admin was becoming nicer to them with each passing day; so they could trust him, right? They did as Xisuma said, sticking out the rod as they awaited for the next instruction. “Good, now throw—don’t actually throw, but you know what I mean, right?”

They nodded and “threw” it, but they dropped the rod into the water below them. A loud and dramatic sigh was heard from them as they heard the very loud and clear laughter from Xisuma, they rolled their eyes as they tried to reach the rod. They huffed as they gripped the edge of the small dock that was there, their grip slightly slipping before they were pulled back. “You were about to fall in,” Xisuma began to explain, “Let me.”

The admin grabbed the rod from the water and handed it to Xelqua after he dried it, Xelqua hummed as they tried to have a better grip on the rod as they tried to get it into the water. They finally did it, and now the thing on the line was still in the water, “Great! Now just wait until the bobber starts bobbing.”

It had now turned into a waiting game, waiting for the thing to start going up and down in the water. They frowned as they were growing quickly impatient, they felt as if they just needed to do something that would give them the stimulation they needed. Then they felt something tug on the rod, they got out of their thoughts and saw the weird thing bobbing, “Pull!” instructed Xisuma.

It was like something inside of them smiled with glee, a joyous feeling arose in them. They caught something! They giggled weakly as they saw they had caught a cod, a cod! They could see Xisuma clapping softly, it made them feel good to have the admin clapping at their achievement. “Now you know how to fish, something to pass the time till I finish shopping!” Xisuma gave them shulker boxes so they could put things in them till whenever Xisuma would come back.

They hummed as they continued fishing, finding themselves repeating the same thing over and over again. They had collected many fish, books, bowls, and even some spare armor that they placed next to them. It was deafening. The only sound that was present was the soothing sound of water; but that still was far too quiet for Xelqua’s taste.

Humming, they weren't any good at it, but they always hummed. The croaky sounds that came from their throat soothed them as they fished, it was as if they were in a trance of just fishing again and again. It was a calming repetition though, the fishing calming their mind as they collected the things that the sea had offered to them. They would've stayed in this trance if it weren't for the sound of rockets nearby them, which only made them look at the player who was responsible for noise.

The player had long curly red hair, and they had stitches along their skin, they were a zombie hybrid. “Xelqua, yeah?” They nodded, confused as to what the player wanted. “You don't want to hurt us from what Scar said, right?”

Xelqua nodded, they just wanted to get away from the very beings that tortured them.

“Scar said you were trustworthy enough so I’ll believe him for now, but what are your intentions if ya don't mind me askin’?”

Xelqua quickly scrambled through the pile of books since they mixed up the books they used with the enchanted books. They groaned as they continued to look through the pile of books, they weren't really using the shulker boxes that Xisuma wanted them to use; they probably should've. It would have made things far more easy. They finally found the book they were looking for after a long minute.

‘I wanted to get away from the Watchers.’

“What would you do then? I mean, if Xisuma lets you live, where would you go?”

Xelqua felt their brain short-circuited for a minute. They hadn't actually planned that far ahead, all that was in their mind at the time was to escape, they supposed they could go to a single-player world and take refuge there.

“You didn't plan that far ahead, did you?” they heard the player chuckle, they groaned and nodded their head. It wasn't like them to often forget plans, but they only had one thing in mind that day. Escape.

Xelqua quickly found out that their name was Cleo, she seemed to be a fun player and they were glad that Cleo seemed to be alright with them for the time being. They mainly listened as Cleo spent time describing the other hermits, shenanigans that often occurred between the players when they were sometimes left unattended. It seemed like mindless fun, people who called each other friends and did fun stuff. Oh, how Xelqua yearned for that kind of feeling,

They yawned, feeling themselves grow tired as they listened to Cleo continue on. They began to tune everything out, feeling the wave of tiredness wash over them like a tidal wave. It was odd, they were beginning to grow tired more quickly now, and sometimes their head would feel as if it was pounding. Nothing about that was normal for them and Xelqua hated it.

“Hey, you alright?”

They were shaken from their thoughts as they stopped breathing for a moment, taking in the scene to collect themselves. They nodded and then shrugged, they weren't too sure if they were alight themselves. It was at the moment when Xisuma returned, taking Xelqua back with him as Xelqua only felt worse.

They were beginning to cough, shirt sniffles came from their nose as they walked back. They groaned as the pounding sensation in their head began, something didn't feel right and they didn't know what it was. They only hoped that it would be resolved soon enough.