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to be loved is to be seen

Chapter 13: Erin's birthday

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Erin promised to arrive on time. Obviously, she didn't. Hank was so overwhelmed by everything that he almost didn't notice how late it was when Erin and Jay arrived.
Despite their best efforts, the time alone with Olive and Daniel was beyond awkward. They were family, but they felt like strangers. As if everyone was protecting themselves.
They chatted for a bit, talking about trivial things, ignoring the obvious. Lexi played with Daniel while Olive helped Alvin prepare the snacks. The clatter of dishes was the only real sound for a while. Hank just stood there, watching the scene from a distance.
By the time the bell rang, Daniel was already fast asleep on his mother's lap. The boy was tired and stressed. It was strange to be in a house full of adults who looked at him with that overwhelming mix of tenderness and sadness.

“Be thankful your dad’s too hysterical to realize how late you are,” Alvin murmured as he pulled Erin into a quick hug. “Happy birthday, kiddo.”

She smiled fondly at him.

"I kept her busy with her birthday present, I'm sorry." Jay said with a smirk, winking at Alvin.

Erin rolled her eyes and shook her head

"First of all, you're an idiot. And second, don't ever talk about your sex life in front of me again. She's like my daughter."

“Come on, man,” Jay chuckled. “It’s not the last century. She’s an adult.”

“Do me a favor and shut up,” Alvin replied, deadpan.

Jay raised his hands in surrender but grinned anyway. Erin just sighed and walked further into the room, lowering her voice to a whisper meant only for Alvin: “Don’t kill him today. It’s still my birthday.”

Despite the initial awkwardness, dinner went very well. Olive didn't say much; she seemed far from the table as if her mind couldn't stay still at all, thinking of way too many things at once. Hank was going through something similar.
It was the others who were responsible for keeping the conversation going.

Under the table, Alvin took Hank's hand. His fingers were warm and firm. Hank held his gaze for a moment and nodded discreetly, a silent thanks, not only for the touch, but for being there, for seeing him.

After a while, the plates were empty. Alvin looked at the scene before him. Hank with his family. A family he was now part of. He thought he had finally found some peace and smiled, feeling real happy for the first time in a while.

Daniel slept in Justin's room, which now belonged to Lexi. Alvin escorted her upstairs to settle the child, and Olive followed a few steps behind, silently. When the door opened and the dim light from the hallway filtered inside, Olive paused in the doorway.
The room had changed. Justin’s things were gone. It was hard to see.
Her breath caught, sharp and quiet. She didn’t cry, but something inside her pulled tight.

Alvin turned to her, instinctively. He didn’t speak. He just walked up and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't do it out of pity; he understood her. At some point, he felt it too. Mourning Justin was tedious and painful.
He understands that the weight of that pain could be shared. At least for a brief moment. Perhaps that was why Hank insisted she allow him in her life. So that they could all heal.

“I know it’s not supposed to stay frozen forever. I know.” Her voice was shaking but didn’t break. “But it still feels like a second since he died, seeing it all gone or how big Daniel is… it's so difficult.”

He held her for a while, in complete silence. Then, slowly, she stepped back and straightened her blouse with a quiet exhale.

“Thank you” she said and he just nodded.

They went back downstairs together.

They had moved to the living room, Jay was cleaning up the table while the girls and Hank were talking over the couch. Alvin noticed how they were laughing at something Lexi had just said. Hank was leaning back, looking very relaxed. Alvin felt warm seeing him like that.

Olive paused, just watching them.

“He looks lighter,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “He’s getting there.”

She turned to him then, studying him with something softer in her expression, as if she knew something he didn't.

“You know,” she said, tilting her head slightly, “you don’t have to say it.”

Alvin blinked. “Say what?”

She offered a small, knowing smile. “That you and Hank are together. I’ve seen the way you look at him. The way he looks at you. It’s not subtle.”

Olinsky smiled.

"We're not hiding it, it just wasn't the night to talk about it. Hank wants everyone to have their own special moment, this being Erin's." He smiled, looking at the couch. "But thank you. It means a lot to know you support us."

"Of course."

Olive gave him one last smile before joining the rest. Alvin stood there admiring the view for a few more minutes until Erin called him over.

“Come on, Al, you’re officially allowed in the inner circle.”

“I didn’t realize I’d been out of it,” he said dryly as he sat down. Everyone laughed.

Hank leaned in closer, letting his shoulder brush against Alvin’s, casual and natural. The contact was small but full of meaning. No one said anything. No one had to.

Jay arrived with the cake and everyone celebrated Erin's birthday, grateful to have her in their lives.

"Thank you for giving us this family," Alvin whispered in Hank's ear.

"Thank you for staying by my side" Hank replied.

The candle flame flickered as Erin approached the cake. Smiling, she closed her eyes. It took her a few seconds to wish for something and then blow out the candle.

After Jay kissed her, Hank took his chance to hug her.

"I love you, kid," he smiled broadly. "I'm glad to see you happy."

“Me too, thank you for the cake by the way”