Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His work was simple. Keep an eye out for any sketchy people, especially if they’re hovering near somebody’s drink. Make people their drinks. I.D. Check people who don’t look of age. Flirt with people for better tips.

That was the easy part. He was a natural at coquetry. To be fair, some people were easily flattered.

Like this guy.

Wavy hair that was just barely growing out. Horrible sense of fashion. Nervousness that is only seen in two types of people. Sparkling eyes. A blatantly obvious gold ring on his finger.

Closet case.

He was cute, however. Despite the dad bod being something he didn’t in a million years expect to be into, it was hot. And if he was here, he didn’t like his life at home too much, now did he? Hopefully his family won’t miss him.

Whizzer noticed all of this while walking across his side of the counter, bending over the glittering quartz countertop. “What can I get for you today, hot stuff?” He asked, winking smoothly.

The man stuttered a bit, blinking. “Just a beer.” He choked out, avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll get that right to you, sir.” He slurred the final word, watching the man and smirking. Whilst pouring the drink, he decided to spice it up a bit, writing his number on a small piece of paper and setting the corner of it under the glass. “Enjoy.”

“Marvin.” The man said, staring straight at him.

“What?”

“My name. It’s Marvin.”

Whizzer chuckled, nodding and tucking a piece of Marvin’s hair back. “Whizzer. Whizzer Brown.”

Marvin was blushing like crazy now, trying to hide it by taking a sip of his drink. “Do you always treat the people you take orders from like this?”

“Depends. Only if they're cute. And if you’re thinking of a… different, kind of order, I’m open for that, too.”

“Huh?” Marvin breathed, eyes wide as he followed the others' eyes.

“What I mean, Marvin, is that I’d like for you to stay here until my shift is over, which is in…” Whizzer glanced at the clock, grinning. “Ten minutes. Do you want to know what I would want to do with you then?”

Marvin nodded, eyes glancing down to his lips.

“Then, I’d like to take you back to my apartment. And I’d want you to destroy me.” Whizzer whispered in his ear, quickly running his lips against his jaw before standing up straight again. Marvin didn’t know that it was going to be a different type of destruction, or that it would be the other way around. But he will soon.

Another person came up to the bar just then, and Whizzer pat Marvin’s cheek sweetly. “Stay close.” He murmured, before turning and taking the newcomers order.

Marvin stayed in his bar seat until the clock struck ten, and Whizzer’s coworker took his spot. He grabbed Marvin’s hand swiftly, pulling him along.

As soon as they made it to his apartment, he pushed Marvin inside, pinning him against the wall and kissing his jaw. “Have you ever done this before, Marvin?”

Shaking his head, Marvin clutched at Whizzers waist.

“Mm. You’re acting like you have.” Whizzer countered, running his hand down and cupping Marvin through his pants. “That’s a good thing. Do what feels natural.” He added as Marvin hesitated.

Slowly grinding his hand up, Whizzer moved his lips to Marvin’s neck, peppering around, feeling his fangs extract as he found the spot-

“Fuck- you’re so good, baby.” Marvin gasped, causing Whizzer to freeze. Lips slightly parted, he felt his fangs retract as he hovered over the spot he was about to bite. He kissed it instead, before trailing up his neck and latching onto Marvin’s lips.

“We haven’t even started yet.” Whizzer groaned into his ear, before dropping to his knees.

Marvin brought him up by the chin, connecting their lips again. “God, I can taste myself.” He sighed, fluttering his eyes closed.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Whizzer murmured, caressing his arms. “It's getting late. You should head back to your wife, Marvin.”

Marvin looked down, breath hitching. “I forgot about that.”

Whizzer smiled softly. “About the ring or that you’d have to go back?”

“Both?” Marvin laughed nervously.

“Well, if you want to do this again, you’ve got my number. And I have the same shift every weekday, come and find me if you’re having a rough night.” He laughed, winking. “Hope to see you soon, Marvin.”

Now what?

He still had to drink something.

Someone.

Which led him to another question.

Why not Marvin?

What stopped him?

The hesitation started when Marvin had called him “baby.”

That was the first a hookup had ever called him something sweet. Not his name, not a “slut” or “whore” thrown in through dirty talk. It made him feel something he wasn’t used to. But maybe… maybe he could give a relationship a shot. As long as Marvin doesn’t find out, what’s the worst that could happen?

For now, however, he had to keep himself from starving to death.

He made his way out of the apartment, tightening his windbreaker around himself as he looked around.

An alley. Two people. Enough to tide him over for a day or so.

Sneaking to them through the shadows, he pounced, using the tactics he only used in an emergency.

Disable, pin, bite.

Trying to do each step twice at the same time was difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. He managed. He felt stronger.

As long as Marvin didn’t find out, they would be fine. As long as Marvin didn't find out, Whizzer could finally feel fulfilled.

Marvin made him feel fulfilled. The feeling of his body. The sweetness tinged in his voice. The tenderness in which he touched him with.

He got a text from an unknown number, and he was quick to open it.

(ANON- This is Marvin. Could I meet you for lunch tomorrow?

Whizzer quickly named his contact.

(YOU- What for? ;))

(MARVIN- Just thought it’d be nice for you to come meet me in my office, Whizzer. I’m not sure what you’re insinuating.

(YOU- Mhm. Let me guess… PRIVATE office?

(MARVIN- Wouldn’t want others to hear our plans, would we?

(YOU- Mm. I guess not.

Whizzer grinned, tucking his phone away and falling into bed.

Chapter Text

11:30. Five minutes until he was supposed to leave.

Marvin’s work place was reasonably far, which made Whizzer sure not to question his determination to not get caught at a gay bar. He was willing to go far to keep people from finding out. Pretty deep in the closet, then.

As he pulled up to the building, Whizzer paused. If Marvin worked as what it looked like he worked as, Whizzer would have something to do later. That’s nice. He got out of his car, checked his room number, and made his way in, saying some song and dance about a scheduled meeting at the front desk.

He knocked on Marvin’s office door, trying to look professional to any passerby. He got the okay, and immediately went in, locking the door behind him and moving to sit on Marvin’s lap. “Hi.” He murmured, kissing his neck softly. Marvin trailed his hands down to Whizzer’s waist, squeezing and moving Whizzer’s lips to his own.

“Hello there.” He laughed, pecking Whizzer’s lips. “How's your day been so far?”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, yeah?” Whizzer went back to kissing him, feeling Marvin smile and slowly begin to unbutton Whizzer’s shirt.

“I’ve still got a little bit left of my break.” Marvin sighed, buttoning his shirt back up. “If you… wanna stay a bit longer.”

Whizzer whipped his head around, furrowing his eyebrows as he finished tucking his shirt in. “This is just a fling, Marvin. I don’t date.”

Marvin shrugged. “Did something happen that made you stop trying?”

Yeah, Whizzer thought, huffing. The first time I tried, the guy killed me.

“I’ve just never tried.” Whizzer told him. “I like variety.”

Humming, Marvin just nodded. “Okay. Will I see you tonight?”

Smirking, Whizzer winked at him. “I already told you to come by the bar if you want. Why, was this not enough for you?”

Marvin laughed, shrugging. “I guess you’ll find out later.” He decided, winking back.

“Mm. By the way, are you a cameraman, or…”

“No. I uh- I’m a meteorologist.” Marvin corrected. “For NBC’s weather. I uh- I’m on Sundays.”

Whizzer smiled, walking back over and kissing Marvin’s neck. “I’ll be watching.” He whispered, before patting Marvin’s chest and leaving the room.

As he left the room, Marvin made a type of strangled sound of agreement. He chuckled a bit, before checking his watch as he slipped into the car. He had to go home to change and get to work.

One o’clock.

Two o’clock.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

The same seat as yesterday creaked and Whizzer finished swiping the offered card before heading over.

“Hello, Marvin. Could I buy you a drink?” He asked, smirking a bit. He locked eyes with the man, noticing how his cheeks already had a pink tint to them.

“I can pay for my own. In fact, I might buy you one. Give you something nice for your service.” Marvin breathed, winking.

Whizzer smiled, leaning in a bit more. “You could always thank me with a nice tip at the end.” He murmured, voice as low as it could go with Marvin still being able to hear him in the loud setting.

“Do you mean-”

He chuckled coolly, before standing upright abruptly and standing. “You’ll find out, doll. Just give me an hour or so. You think you’ll have time for that?”

Marvin nodded, swallowing. “I uh- told her I was hanging out with a few friends and not to wait up. I’ll be good for a while.”

Grinning, Whizzer gave him a curt nod, before leaning back onto the counter. “So, what can I get you?”

“What would you recommend? I’m not too familiar with all the fancy drinks.”

“Could I buy you a cosmopolitan, doll? Or would that be too strong for you?” Whizzer asked, reaching over and curling Marvin’s hair around his finger.

“I’ll try that.” Marvin agreed. Whizzer smirked at how Marvin stumbled over his words.

Whizzer got to work, adding a little less alcohol to it that he usually would. He wasn’t sure Marvin could handle it.

Sliding it over, he winked at Marvin, getting to work on another person's drink as he watched Marvin. He took a sip, before sputtering into a coughing fit. Whizzer gave him a cup of water, which Marvin drank gratefully.

“Jesus, that’s- that’s strong.” Marvin laughed nervously, catching his breath.

“Mm. I knew you’d say that. I even put a little less alcohol in there.” Whizzer admitted, reaching over and almost tenderly caressing Marvin’s jaw. “Do you want me to just bring you a beer?”

Marvin shook his head quickly, taking another sip of his drink. “I never said I didn’t like it. I just wasn't expecting it to be this strong.”

Whizzer nodded, narrowing his eyes. “Hm. That one’s my favorite, y’know. In case you’re feeling nice sometime.”

Laughing, Marvin crossed his arms and rested them on the counter. “Is that you asking me to buy you a drink?”

“I have to drive us home tonight, Marvin. I wouldn’t want to risk that. I’m just letting you know for… future use.”

“Future use? How far in the future are we talking?” Marvin asked.

“That’s up to you to decide.” Whizzer shrugged, before tapping the counter. “I’ve gotta take care of some other customers. I’m off in thirty, you should stick around. I’m feeling a bit needy tonight.”

Marvin’s face reddened, and he buried his face in his hand, peeking at Whizzer through the side cut off. “I’ll see you then.”

“You don’t have to stop staring, Marvin. I know I’m pretty to look at.” Whizzer laughed, winking before walking away.

Ten minutes. Marvin was acting like he wasn’t staring intently at Whizzer’s ass every time he caught his eye.

Twenty minutes. Whizzer passed him a few times, running his hand along the counter and brushing Marvin’s each time.

Thirty minutes. Whizzer went through the back room, putting his arms around Marvin’s neck from behind and making him jump. “Back to mine?” He asked, teasingly kissing his jaw.

“Yeah.” Marvin breathed, hopping up and letting Whizzer lead him to his car.

Chapter Text

God. Marvin was sweet. Soft, tender touches, giving himself what he needed but not getting too lost in it. He wouldn’t only think about himself.

Basking in the afterglow, Whizzer lay on Marvin’s chest, hearing his heartbeat just below his ear. “How was that, baby?” Marvin asked, stroking his back.

“Good.” Whizzer breathed, voice raspy and raw. “How much time do we have?”

“Enough.”

“Can you hold me until you have to leave?” Whizzer asked nervously, absentmindedly tracing shapes into Marvin’s chest.

He felt himself being held tighter, and Marvin pressed a small kiss to his hair. “Course.”

Truth be told, Whizzer tried not to catch feelings. He really tried. But god, when Marvin was holding him like this, treating him like this, how could anyone blame him? On the second day they knew each other, as well. As Marvin threaded his fingers through his hair, Whizzer realized how touch starved he’d been.

Ever since he’d been attacked, he lost all trust with people. He moved states, trying to rebuild and fight what he needed to survive all while avoiding getting to know anyone.

“I haven’t eaten today.” Whizzer stated to himself.

“You should do that soon, baby.”

Shit. He said that out loud. “Don't have anything. I’ll last.”

Marvin frowned, pausing the hand and laying it on his head. “You need to eat.” He countered, rubbing his thumb against Whizzer’s scalp.

“It’s not that easy.” Whizzer sighed, nuzzling into Marvin’s chest.

“How about I take you out to dinner tomorrow?”

“I don’t eat dinner on weekdays. I have work.” Whizzer muttered, tensing.

“On the weekend, then.”

“Marvin, I’m fine. Really.”

“Please?”

Whizzer bit his lip, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed. He wanted to. He really did. But he didn’t eat normal food. Instead of filling him, it made him feel nauseous. “We aren’t dating, Marvin. We chat a bit, we fuck, and we go through a little aftercare, okay? That’s it. Please.”

Despite how heartbroken that made Marvin look, Whizzer was too scared to allow more. He couldn’t get too vulnerable. Not after what happened last time. “Go home, Marvin. Come back to the bar tomorrow if you want to do this again.”

Marvin stared at him, before nodding, kissing him softly, and making his way out.

He fell to the side, hugging a pillow to his chest. Feelings meant intimacy. Intimacy meant vulnerability. Vulnerability meant he would get hurt. Marvin would hurt him if he was too open with him.

Just like Nathan did.

No. He couldn’t think of that right now. He couldn’t think of him right now. Marvin was different.

For one thing, he was less brave. No, brave wasn’t the right word. Marvin is less confident in who he is. He doesn’t go around showing Whizzer off like a prize. He’s gentle, he takes care of him.

Marvin is still as kind to him as ever even after telling him they aren’t dating, and that they probably never will. Marvin didn’t throw a tantrum when he told him what they were.

But oh, Whizzer was doing what he promised himself he would never do again.

He was catching feelings for Marvin.

They went on like that for four more weeks. Marvin would meet up with him at work. They would go home together. They would fuck. They would cuddle. Whizzer would remind him to head back to his wife.

And the cycle would repeat.

Until today.

It started out the same. Marvin sat at his usual stool at the bar, watching Whizzer work and sharing the occasional conversation. Whizzer drove him back to his house. And now there they were, with Marvin rubbing his back and the sheets thrown to the floor.

“I swear, this’ll never get old.” Marvin breathed, laughing a bit.

Whizzer looked up at him from his spot on his chest, grinning. “The sex or the cuddles?”

“Both.” Marvin giggled, leading Whizzers chin up and leaning in for a kiss. “You’re so gorgeous.”

“I try.” Whizzer told him, leaning his head back down.

“I have to tell you something, baby.” Marvin whispered, stilling his hand.

“If you have an STI I just might kill you.” Whizzer said, staring daggers into his eyes.

“No STIs.” Marvin laughed. “It's uh… I told her. And we’re getting a divorce.”

Whizzers head shot up. He found himself holding his breath. “You did what?” He asked, breath catching.

“I told her I’m gay. Hiding has only done so much for me. She was upset, of course, but she understood it enough. And… she wants to meet you.”

“Marvin, we aren’t dating.” Whizzer protested.

“Can we be? Whizzer, I- I know you said that you like variety, and that’s okay with me, our relationship can be open. But I would love for you to always end up back with me at night.” Marvin moved his own hand from Whizzer’s back to clutch Whizzer’s hand, desperation filling his eyes.

And who could say no to that face?

“Okay. If you’re sure that’s what you want.” Whizzer conceded, giving him a shaky nod.

He could give this another shot.

Of course the relationship wasn’t really open.

But Marvin could believe he’s out cheating if it meant he didn’t know he was out practically killing people.

Marvin’s lips split into a grin, and he pulled Whizzer up, bringing him into a breathtakingly good hug. “Thank you.” He murmured, kissing Whizzer’s hair.

“Hm. You’re lucky you’re hot.” Whizzer teased, softly kissing his jaw.

Going back to rubbing Whizzer’s back, Marvin continued grinning down at him. “Why thank you, Whizzer. I’ve got to say that you’re pretty attractive yourself.”

“Oh, am I?”

“You are, pretty boy.”

Whizzer leaned in and kissed him, trailing his hand down Marvin’s stomach.

“I’ll meet her.” Whizzer promised, pecking him again and straddling him.

“Okay. Do we need to talk about what I’ve told-”

“We can talk more about what all she knows later. I want you inside me, now.”

Marvin smiled and grabbed his waist.

Chapter Text

Why did he agree to this?

Marvin’s hand rested on the small of his back, thumbing it lightly as he knocked on the door. Whizzer stared downward as it opened, trying his best not to make eye contact.

Trina probably saw him as a homewrecker.

He heard her talking to Marvin, before they were asked to come in and Marvin’s hand dropped from his back and laced with his hand. It was only then that Whizzer hesitantly looked up, taking in his surroundings.

Family pictures hung on the wall, though each one looked strained. Marvin never looked happy. Trina looked like she was desperately trying to make it not fall apart. There was a kid in the middle-

Marvin had a kid?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Whizzer asked breathily, tears brimming.

“Tell you what?” Marvin asked, reaching up and cupping his face, eyebrows furrowed.

“You have a kid, Marvin.”

After a quick glance at the picture hanging on the wall, Marvin nodded. “I do.”

Whizzer bit his lip, looking at his hands as they sat down at the dining table. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

And Marvin just stared at him. Watched him have a mental breakdown, watching him try his best to stop it, at least not let it show.

“I didn’t think it would be that important.”

Exasperated, Whizzer clenched his teeth, clutching Marvin’s collar. “How would that be unimportant, Marvin? That changes so much!”

“What does that change?” Marvin asked, seemingly hesitant.

“Well for one, I probably wouldn’t have gotten together with you, kids hate me.” Whizzer sighed, pushing Marvin away and crossing his arms. “Two, Trina can find a better husband. Your kid isn't gonna have better parents.”

Marvin looked straight up offended now. “How does this make us bad parents?”

“You’re never home, so you’re just leaving your wife to deal with him, and she’ll get tired, and then that kid is going to grow away from both of you because neither of you have the energy to be there for him!” Whizzer whisper yelled, clenching and unclenching his fists.

“Are you mad?” Marvin asked, placing a hand on Whizzer’s shoulder. Whizzer brushed it off.

“Yes.” He muttered, turning away from Marvin in his seat. Tears brimmed in his eyes, ones that he forced away with the palm of his hand.

Marvin exhaled, deep and strong, before wrapping Whizzer into a hug. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

“I don’t forgive you.” Whizzer told him, taking a deep breath. “Just give me a minute to think about this. And don’t hug me, you jackass.” He spat, pushing Marvin off of him and crossing his arms and legs.

Trina walked in just then, hesitating at the door frame as she watched the scene before her.

“I changed my mind.” Whizzer muttered, turning around and enveloping Marvin into a hug. “I need this.”

Marvin wrapped his arms around him, nodding and kissing his hair. “I love you.”

“Don't say that.” Whizzer stated, almost on autopilot. “Just- don’t. Please.” He sighed, Slowly pulling away from Marvin’s embrace. “Thank you for that.”

“Always.” Marvin whispered, cupping his face.

It was then that Trina decided to clear her throat, alerting the two of her presence. “Dinners ready!” She said, smiling. “Marvin, be a dear and go get Jason, will you?”

“Jason is a pretty name.” Whizzer murmured, smiling softly as Marvin left the room.

Trina smiled back, sitting and watching Whizzer carefully. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

Humming, Trina nodded. “That sounds like him.”

“I’m sorry.” Whizzer blurted, trying his best to keep his composure. “I never meant for it to get this far.”

“Did you know?” She asked, her features softening.

“Yes.” Whizzer murmured. He swallowed.

“For how long?”

“The whole time.” Whizzer looked down at his hands. He couldn’t look at her. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve said.” Trina teased, smiling. Whizzer still refused to meet her gaze.

It was sickening, how kind she was being. He stole her husband. Just hit him already! “Why don’t you hate me?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone, Whizzer.” She laughed. Instead of replicating her, he just watched her with a sad frown. “I don’t blame you. It would’ve happened one way or another, we didn’t even plan on getting married.”

Whizzer bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows. “Then why did you?”

Trina glanced at the stairs, lowering her voice. “I got pregnant. Our parents had us married by the next month.”

“That’s horrible.” Whizzer whispered, exhaling sharply.

“What I’m getting at is that our marriage was never going to last. Especially with him being gay and all. Thank you.”

“Please don’t thank me.”

Sighing, Trina grabbed his hand. “You make him happy, Whizzer. We always acted like good friends rather than a married couple.”

Whizzer looked up at her, smiling softly. “I don’t believe that you don’t hate anyone. Are you free Saturday?”

“I am.” Trina laughed, smiling back.

“Good. We’re going to a rage room.” Whizzer gave her a fist bump as Marvin came downstairs with Jason.

“Hey.” Marvin laughed softly. Jason looked a bit awkward. “Do you wanna switch to this seat, Whizzer? Jason likes that spot.” He said, gesturing to the other spot next to him.

“Oh!” Whizzer exclaimed, quickly switching seats. “Sorry, kid.”

Jason examined him for a moment, before sitting down and nodding stiffly. “Do you know how to play chess?”

Whizzer shook his head, earning a small frown from him. “If you’re up for teaching me, though, I’m a fast learner.”

His frown turned to a grin as he nodded quickly. “Can we, mom?” He asked, a hopeful glint in his eye.

“After dinner.” Trina promised, giving him a tight smile. “For now, however; we have something to talk to you about.”

Marvin’s hand found Whizzer’s knee and squeezed. Carefully, Whizzer pried it off and laced it with his own hand. Marvin would dislocate his knee if he kept doing that.

“What is it?” Jason asked. He almost looked bored.

“Me and your father… aren’t going to be together anymore.” Trina explained softly, taking a deep breath.

“Why?”

Trina sighed, tightening her lips. “We believe that it will be best for all of us.”

Jason looked around at them all, taking quick, unfulfilling breaths. “But-”

“You’ll still see both of us an equal amount, kiddo. We both love you, and you’re a great kid.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. Jason, this has nothing to do with something you did. It’s not something you could’ve stopped. Marvin and I have lost our love for each other, and that’s not your fault.” Geez. Probably the wrong thing to say.

He looked terrified and small. More of, he looked like he wanted to run away. Jason got up, running back up the stairs and slamming his bedroom door shut.

“I’ll talk to him.” Whizzer offered, standing.

Marvin glared at him. “He doesn’t even know you, Whizzer.”

Sighing, Whizzer nodded. “Exactly. Sometimes a kid needs to talk about family problems with someone who doesn’t have any bias about it.”

“But you do have a bias.”

“Not really. Sure, I still kind of see it as my fault. But you guys don’t love each other, not like that. What I’m getting at is that I don’t care what happens. I don’t have to defend myself to him because I’m not his parent.” Whizzer explained, squeezing Marvin’s shoulder. “Trust me on this.”

Chapter Text

He got a nod of approval from them both before heading upstairs. He knocked on Jason’s door, hesitating when he got no response.

“Can I come in, Jason?” He asked. There was a little hum from the other side, and Whizzer made his way in. “Hey.”

“What do you want?” Jason mumbled. He was facing the wall, curled up on his bed. Whizzer took a breath.

“Do you need anything? Water, someone to talk to, hell, if you want a hug then I’ll give you a hug. Just let me know, okay?” He put the options out, hovering near the door and shutting it behind him.

“Why? You don’t know me.”

Whizzer smiled, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. “I know what you’re going through. Thought maybe that getting rid of any worry that the person will judge you for your opinion would help you feel better talking about it.”

Nodding, Jason patted the spot next to himself on the bed. “It's weird to have you sitting on the floor. I like it when people are on equal footing while talking.” He explained, bringing his knees up. Whizzer gave him a nod of approval, going to sit next to him and crossing his legs.

“What’s going through your mind, Jason?” He asked, leaning his elbows on his knees.

Jason looked down, taking a deep breath. “Do you know why they… why they don’t love each other anymore?”

“Your dad… Do you know what being gay is, Jason?” Whizzer began, wringing his hands.

“No.”

“Okay. What you’ve been taught, from a very young age, is that a man and a woman can love each other. But, something people don’t tell you, is that a man and another man can love each other, too. Same with two women. That’s how your father is.” Whizzer smiled, patting him on the back.

“Then why did he marry my mom?” Jason huffed, crossing his arms.

Whizzer bit his lip, sighing softly. “Sometimes, people feel the need to hide who they are. Because there are some very hateful people in the world. Your father just recently became ready to show his true self. But that doesn’t mean he never loved her, okay? He did, just in a different way. And he loves you, too. That won’t change, because you’re a great kid, I can tell.”

“You can?” Jason asked, eyes widening.

“Yeah. I can tell, because you’re not a jerk about all of this. You aren’t screaming for no reason. You seem to like some pretty cool things, based off of your posters. But… yeah. You seem like a great kid, Jason.”

“Thanks.” Jason murmured, blinking a few times. “Can we go back downstairs?”

“Of course.” Whizzer smiled, standing and following Jason out and back to the kitchen.

Marvin looked at him like he was a miracle worker as Jason went over and hugged him. He was grinning, too. ‘Thank you.’ He mouthed, smiling softly as Jason pulled away from the hug and did the same for his mother. “We should get home. It’s getting pretty late, yeah?”

“Wait.” Jason cutted in, furrowing his eyebrows. “Who are you?” He asked Whizzer, crossing his arms. Marvin looked frozen.

“Your dads going to be living with me for a bit.” Whizzer explained, smiling.

“Oh. Are you two together?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Jason shrugged and walked back up the stairs, followed by his mother.

“That went well.” Whizzer pointed out, raising his eyebrows as they walked outside.

“About as well as it could have gone, I guess. The kid knew something was up the moment I knocked on his door. Usually Trina gets him for dinner since I’m usually just getting home.” Marvin explained, lacing his hand with Whizzer’s. Whizzer took his hand out and knocked it away.

“Don’t.” He muttered.

“Sorry.”

They kept walking in silence until they were home, and Whizzer made his way to the bathroom, locking himself in.

Three days.

He hadn’t eaten

In three

Days.

Marvin was banging on the door, but he refused to open it. He’d been holding back for so long, if he saw anyone he would burst.

He had to eat.

He had to get away from Marvin.

Marvin can’t know.

He never can.

It’s for his protection.

“Whizzer, open the goddamn door.”

“I can’t.”

“You can and you know you can. Open the fucking door!”

“No.”

He heard an annoyed groan. “I’ll kick the door down.”

“You’ll be the one to pay for the repairs.”

“Whizzer, please, just open the door.”

Maybe a bit too aggressively, Whizzer swung the door open, avoiding looking at Marvin as he walked to the front door.

“Did I do something wrong?” Marvin asked, sighing and watching Whizzer from the doorway as he walked down the hallway of their apartment complex. “Why won’t you look at me?”

“I’ll be back in the morning, maybe late tonight. Deal with it. And don’t wait up.” Whizzer called back as the elevator door closed.

There. Marvin could make all the assumptions he wanted about Whizzer cheating. It wasn’t true. It was rare that he actually fucked the people he picked up from bars. And he always kept them alive. Cause amnesia to stop from any allegations. Never let them become… this. He could drain just enough blood and leave the body. Somehow, his fingerprints disappeared whenever he was turned. All DNA was stripped from him. That was really helpful.

So that’s exactly what he did.

And then he went back home to Marvin as if nothing happened.

He climbed into bed with his lover, feeling Marvin’s arms wrap around him and his tear stained face pressing against his bare shoulder. “You’re back.” Marvin whispered, kissing his back softly.

“I am.” Whizzer agreed, quiet and unwilling. He didn’t want to talk right now. “Please just let us go to sleep.”

“Okay. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Mhm.” Whizzer replied. He was too tired to scold Marvin on the domesticality of his word choice.

Besides, how could he, with Marvin holding him like that and his exhaustion slowly catching up to him?

And, despite what he says, he didn’t mind when he heard the small “I love you.” Marvin gave him when he was just about to fall “unconscious.” In fact, he wished he had the guts to say it back.

But he doesn’t love.

He could do this, but he can’t do love.

Ever.

If Whizzer got too vulnerable with Marvin, Marvin could find out. That can’t happen.

Marvin could try and kill him.

Or worse, turn him into the police.

Or a lab.

Whizzer trusts Marvin. He doesn’t trust him enough to know he won’t make him a lab rat if he finds out.

It can’t happen.

Chapter Text

Marvin moved in with him.

He couldn’t have refused, Whizzer is pretty much his only option.

And that’s how they ended up hauling two boxes of the little stuff Marvin had to take with him into his apartment. Putting them away. Fighting over the sides of their bed and closet.

Whizzer would never admit how excited he was about it. He couldn’t. There weren’t supposed to be feelings here. Whizzer took him in because he had nowhere else to go. That’s all.

But that wasn’t all.

It wasn’t all, because Whizzer wanted to hold him and kiss him and love him like a normal person.

But he wasn’t normal.

He wasn’t even a person.

He was a monster.

He was a fucking monster, because that dickhead made him one.

Goddamnit.

Marvin trailed his hands around Whizzer’s waist from behind, hooking his head over Whizzer’s shoulder. “Hi.” He murmured, kissing his shoulder softly. “We should go to bed.”

Whizzer hummed, turning around in Marvin’s grip and kissing him softly. “Why are you so nice to me?” Whizzer asked. He could feel the alcohol in his system pouring through every word, but it was too late to back down now. And he wanted —needed— to know. It was eating him from the inside out. An itching feeling that he was being used, that Marvin wasn’t who he thought he was.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Marvin ran his hands up Whizzer’s arms and then back down. They gently sat at his waist.

Backing up, Whizzer walked to their bedroom and sat on the end of their bed, expecting Marvin to follow. He did. “I dunno, Marvin. I think the more reasonable question is why would you? I’ve done nothing that should mean you’re kind to me. Hell, I’ve done the opposite! I’m trying my best to push you away but you keep coming back and I can’t help but be drawn in to you! Why can’t you just hate me?”

Marvin stared at him, lips parted as he stared at Whizzer. Slowly, he walked over, sitting next to Whizzer and trailing his arm around his waist. “Why do you want me to hate you?”

“Answer my question first.”

“I don’t hate you because you have done things to earn my kindness, Whizzer. You let me move in with you since I don’t have the money to fully pay for two houses at once until Trina finds a job. You’re giving me a chance. And, when you aren’t trying to push me away, you’re a really sweet guy, Whiz.” Marvin rubbed his back, and Whizzer hoped he didn’t notice the tears welling in his eyes.

“Don't call me that.” Whizzer breathed, refusing eye contact even as Marvin watched him earnestly. He couldn’t look. He couldn’t give in to how tender Marvin was being.

Marvin frowned, but not out of anger, and he stilled his hand momentarily. “Okay. Your turn.”

“What?”

“Answer my question. Why do you want me to hate you, Whizzer?” Marvin held Whizzer’s hand, squeezing gently.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it.” Marvin sighed, taking his hand out of Whizzer’s. “Tell me why. Please.”

Whizzer looked down, nursing his bottom lip between his teeth. “I can’t tell you.”

“If you want me to hate you then telling me something that might make me-”

“I can’t tell you.” Whizzer stated, huffing. “I- I just can’t, okay?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Not enough.”

“I trust you.” Marvin told him, continuing to watch him carefully. “Can you tell me why you can’t tell me?”

“Worst case scenario is worse than a breakup.” Whizzer muttered, scooting away. Marvin let him.

“What do you think will happen?”

Whizzer continued to stare at the ground.

“Do you think I’ll hurt you?”

Barking out a laugh, Whizzer glanced at Marvin. “Definitely not the worst case. Maybe you would. I’d deserve it if you did.”

“Kill you?”

“I wish.”

“Police?”

“Close, but still not the worst case scenario.” Whizzer was holding back tears now.

“Whizzer, what do you think I’d do?” Marvin asked, hesitantly reaching over to gently rub his shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Whizzer looked over, scanning Marvin’s eyes. “Why do you want to know this stuff so badly?”

Marvin smiled softly. “You won’t like my answer. You’d probably tell me off.” He murmured through sad eyes.

“Hit me.”

“Because I love you. And I want you to trust me with this stuff.” Marvin said, reaching up to tenderly hold Whizzer’s cheek.

Whizzer smiled, failing to hold back a few stray tears. “You wouldn’t love me if I told you.”

“How do you know that?” Marvin sighed, scooching back over and resting his lips on Whizzer’s shoulder.

“It's… really bad.”

Marvin pulled Whizzer down, bringing him to the top of the bed and wrapping his arms around him. Whizzer buried his face in Marvin’s chest as quickly as he could.

“What’s the worst crime you’ve ever committed?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Did you do it to survive?”

Whizzer froze. “What do you mean by that?”

“For food or water, a place to sleep. Or even literally. Like you would die if you didn’t do that, because you needed that exact thing and there was no other way.” Marvin explained, stroking Whizzers hair.

“I did.” Whizzer breathed, leaning into Marvin’s touch.

Marvin smiled. “If I promise that whatever it is, since it was for that reason, I won’t report you, and I won’t tell anyone, will you tell me?”

“I’m not sure.” Whizzer murmured, glancing down. “Can I sleep on it?”

“Yeah, yeah definitely. I have the day off tomorrow, so whenever you’re ready to talk, just… let me know. And I promise you, nothing is going to get to anyone else.”

“Okay.”

“Sleep well, my darling.”

Whizzer smiled, hiding it in Marvin’s chest. “Language.”

Marvin huffed out a laugh. “Sorry.”

“You’re such a dickhead.”

“Am I?”

“You are.” Whizzer nuzzled closer, kissing Marvin’s bare chest as he closed his eyes.

He heard Marvin mutter a response, but he was too tired to comprehend it. Instead, he just fell into a long and fitful “sleep.”

Chapter Text

Truth was, Whizzer didn’t sleep. He closed his eyes and let his imagination run wild. Because everything he needed came from blood. Energy, hunger, thirst. All came from human blood. He’s tried animal blood. He’s tried insects, fish, all other mammals, reptiles, amphibians. None of it worked. He couldn’t fix it. Not without a doctor. But the doctors wouldn’t know. He would be sent to a lab, and he would be tested on like a goddamn rat. That’s why nobody could know. Not even Marvin.

“Hey, Whizzer.”

Marvin slid his arms around Whizzer’s neck, placing a soft kiss to the skin. “Sorry that I’m up so late, baby, I haven’t had a day off in a while and I guess my body decided that it’s time to sleep in.” He laughed, kissing up Whizzer’s neck and ending at his cheek, keeping his lips there for a moment.

“Mm.” Whizzer hummed, placing a hand on the back of his head and smiling softly. “Slept well, then?”

“Oh, yeah.” Marvin grinned against his skin, kissing it again before pulling away. “What about you?” He asked, smiling as Whizzer handed him a cup of coffee.

“Good.” Whizzer said quickly, walking to the couch and leaning into Marvin as he followed and sat.

After a moment, Marvin wrapped an arm around Whizzer and kissed his hair. “Anything specific you want to do today?”

“You.” Whizzer murmured, kissing Marvin softly.

“That wasn’t your best one, now was it?” Marvin asked, laughing.

“Shut the fuck up, you dick.” Whizzer laughed, leaning his head into Marvin’s shoulder. “That wasn’t even me trying a pick up line, I don’t need those to get in your pants.”

“True. Alright, seriously though, what do you want to do today?” Marvin kissed him again, smiling as he rubbed Whizzer’s shoulder.

“Dunno. Date night, maybe?” Whizzer sighed, smiling back. “What about you?”

“Date night would be fun. Anything you want to do tonight is fine. But uh… just… sometime today…”

Whizzer sighed again, this time, however; sadly, and looked down. “I know. I- I’m just not sure, you know? I’m still scared that it won’t go well.”

“I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, but… I don’t think you understand how serious it is. I mean- police find out and I could get- I-” Whizzer took a shaky breath. He shook his head quickly, standing up and holding his head as he backed up against the wall. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I can’t- Marvin I can’t breathe-”

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his arms up to his eyes to hold back tears. He felt a hand on his cheek, and another tugging his arms away. “You’re okay, Whizzer. You’re okay. Come on, let’s sit back down, yeah?”

Whizzer allowed himself to be pulled to the couch and sat down. Marvin made sure he was sitting up before wrapping his arms around his shoulders, pulling Whizzer’s chest to his own. “I’ve got you, Whizzer. I won’t let go unless you make me.”

Somehow, Marvin meant that in two ways. And somehow, through all the tears and panic and failed breaths, Whizzer understood. He understood both implications of the words being fed to him.

“Murder.” Whizzer choked out, clutching onto Marvin. “Only once. I- figured out how to get what I needed without killing the person. I didn’t want to, I never want to, I just- I have to, and-”

“I hear you baby, I hear you. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you. Breathe, okay?” Marvin kept whispering in his ear, kissing the skin under his ear a few times in quick, soft pecks. “Breathe.”

Whizzer put a trembling hand on Marvin’s chest, copying his breathing. Marvin nodded, pushing back his hair. “I’m breathing.” Whizzer sighed, nodding.

“Good job. I’m proud of you, baby. You think you can keep that up?” Marvin rubbed his upper arm, kissing his shoulder.

“Yeah, I can. Thank you.” Whizzer turned around, laying his head on Marvin’s shoulder. “You haven’t said anything about it. It’s a lot, and I know you probably weren’t expecting it, and I want you to know I wouldn’t put it against you to leave me. Just- please don’t turn me in, Marvin. Please.”

“I won’t, baby. I promise I won’t. Never.” Marvin ran his hand through Whizzer’s hair.

“I can’t tell you the full story on why. I’m not sure if you’ll look at me the same now, but I know you won’t if you know the whole story.”

“Okay.”

“I wish I didn’t love you.”

“I know.”

He stayed cradled in Marvin’s arms for a while, exhausted. “I hate everything.” Whizzer murmured, nuzzling into Marvin’s chest.

Marvin nodded, brushing his hair with his fingers. “I understand why. Let me know if you ever need to talk, yeah?”

Nodding, Whizzer laced their hands together. “I need to go on a walk.”

He locked eyes with Marvin. Marvin nodded. “I’ll see you later for date night, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Whizzer smiled, kissing Marvin quickly. “Find us a restaurant, yeah? Somewhere fancy.”

“Definitely.”

Whizzer smiled as he walked out, taking a deep breath as he found himself outside. God, he’s needed some fresh air. But more than that, he needed to eat.

And that’s how he found himself in a bar at noon on a Tuesday.

He scanned the crowd, finding someone who looked enough like they were drinking away their sorrows. It wasn’t too difficult, anyone who’s at a bar this early clearly wasn’t there for a good time. Still, it wasn’t the hardest to pick up a closeted man who came to a gay bar to hide from his wife.

And so he did.

Drink. Lead. Alleyway. Kiss. Neck. Bite. Drain. Drop.

He felt good. not proud or happy, but energized.

He almost felt alive again.

He went back to Marvin.

“Honey, I’m home!” Whizzer called sarcastically, chuckling as he saw Marvin’s hand raise and wave from the living room.

“Hey, Whizzer, how was your- shit, are you okay?” Marvin stood, holding his face.

Whizzer furrowed his eyebrows, grabbing onto one of Marvin’s wrists. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“There’s blood on your lip.” Marvin murmured, wiping it off with his thumb.

If it was possible, Whizzer could’ve sworn that his heart truly dropped. Instead, he acted like it was fine. “Oh! I must’ve not cleaned my nosebleed all the way. Allergies, it happened on my way home. Is there any more I missed?” Whizzer smiled. It seemed his excuse worked, as Marvin shook his head and dropped his face.

“We have a reservation at six. Go get ready, yeah?”

Chapter Text

Whizzer lathered gel into his hair, combing it back. Sadly, gel made his hair crunchy, which was a bit annoying. He quickly added a texture spray, smiling once he was happy with his efforts. Marvin came up behind him, hooking his head over his shoulder and smiling. “You ready?” He asked, running his hands up and down Whizzer’s arms.

“Yeah.” Whizzer nodded, turning and kissing Marvin. “Let’s go.”

Marvin grabbed his hand, leading him out and to the car, squeezing his knee as he started the engine. “I’ve got somewhere I want you to see after dinner, if you’re up for that.”

Glancing over, Whizzer nodded with a smile. “Yeah.” He said quietly, putting his hand over the one Marvin had on his knee.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Marvin looked over at him as he stopped at the red light, turning his hand and lacing it with Whizzer’s. “Are you sure? I- you’re not looking like you want to. It’s okay if you don’t.”

“No, it’s fine, really, I’m just… a bit nervous. About going anywhere, to be honest, just after our… conversation, it’s a bit scary. I’ve never told anyone before.” Whizzer pulled his hand away, lacing both of his own together and tapping his foot.

“That’s okay, Whizzer. I can show you another night once you’re feeling more comfortable if you’d like, how does that sound?” Marvin cracked a smile, cupping his cheek.

Whizzer nodded, smiling back. “Thanks.” He whispered, carefully reaching up to hold Marvin’s hand over his cheek.

They sat in silence for a while as Marvin drove. Whizzer leaned his head back against the seat, relaxing into Marvin’s massage he was giving to his thigh. “We’re here.” Marvin murmured after a moment, patting Whizzer’s thigh.

“No getting out of the car kiss?” Whizzer pouted as Marvin turned to open the door.

“Always, for you.” Marvin teased, leaning over and pressing his lips to Whizzer’s. “That enough for you, pretty boy?”

Whizzer’s lips turned into a lopsided grin as he grabbed the back of Marvin’s head and pulled him in for another kiss. “Now it is.”

Marvin quickly smoothed Whizzer’s hair down, winked, and exited the vehicle. Whizzer followed, catching up and lacing his own hand with Marvin’s. Hand signals were a way of snitching. If Marvin’s hands were occupied, there were less ways he could tell someone.

Part of him knew Marvin wouldn’t say a thing. But a stronger part of him still believed he couldn’t trust anyone. Marvin said he loved him. Maybe Marvin’s a good liar.

As they sat down, Whizzer kept his hand tightly in Marvin’s, gesturing for the other ones to meet. Once he got both hands in check, he searched his eyes. Nothing but love and the slightest bit of concern showed in them.

“Is this what you need to do to feel secure?” Marvin asked, thumbing at Whizzer’s knuckles. Whizzer nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “Whatever makes you feel better, okay? You might need to feed me though.” Marvin winked, bringing Whizzer’s hand up to kiss it.

“Not if you don’t want me to chew it up and feed you like a baby bird.” Whizzer laughed, kicking him.

“Oh lord, please don’t.”

“Don’t make me feed you.”

“Then I’ll need my hands.”

“Why, are you a whore for hands?”

“I- what?” Marvin stared at him, blinking. “What does that even mean?”

Whizzer shrugged. “It means whatever you want it to mean, Marvin.”

What he didn’t expect was for Marvin to start laughing, loud. His hand clamped over his mouth as Whizzer took his own hands away to stifle his own laughter. “We are in the middle- of a fancy restaurant- and we’re talking about this?” Marvin wheezed out, giggling.

“I have the talent to take this anywhere.” Whizzer giggled, kicking Marvin again under the table. “Now shut up, the waiter is coming.”

Marvin grimaced, trying to get himself to stop laughing. That alone made Whizzer laugh harder.

Once they managed to dial down their laughter, they ordered and ate, with Whizzer feeling a bit more secure, though he found himself looking wherever Marvin looked. Marvin offered to pay the bill, taking Whizzer’s hand in his own as they walked back to the car. Just as he was about to open the passenger door, Whizzer spoke up.

“Hey, before we go home, could you, uh- could you hold me in the backseat for a bit? I want to be close to you and homes kind of far away, but if you want to just get home then that’s fine, and I wouldn’t-” Whizzer was cut off by a kiss from Marvin, massaging their lips together.

“Of course.” Marvin murmured, kissing his cheek and switching to open the backdoor, opening his arms after climbing in. Whizzer closed the door as he crawled through, snuggling into Marvin’s arms. He kissed Marvin’s shoulder, smiling softly.

Marvin’s arms wrapped around him, causing Whizzer to hum contentedly. “Thank you. You’re so warm. So comfortable.”

Smiling, Marvin kissed his hair. “You’re so pretty, in my arms like this.” Marvin brushed his hair back, stroking his face. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Whizzer looked up at him with a smile, nuzzling closer and fluttering his eyes closed. “Stay.”

“Always, my dear.”

“We could just run away together.” Whizzer offered, holding Marvin’s shirt. He knew they couldn’t. He couldn’t rely on Marvin to be his only source of food. Especially not forever. Marvin didn’t even know.

“And go where?” Marvin asked. It sounded like he was thinking about it a little. Woah.

“Don't know. Somewhere nobody could hurt us. I’m scared, Marvin.”

“I know you are, Whizzer. I’m scared too. But I’ll never let anything bad happen to you, you know that? You’re safe with me.” Marvin kissed his hair, before replacing his lips with his hand and massaging his scalp.

“You’re amazing.”

“You’re perfect.”

Whizzer smiled softly, pained. “I’m not and we both know it.”

“You are to me.” Marvin continued scratching his hair, placing another kiss on it. “Even your imperfections are perfect in my eyes.”

“Even the murder?” Whizzer laughed, though there was no humor in it.

“That wasn’t your fault. You were doing what you had to do to survive. So yes.” Marvin decided after a moment of thought. “You’re perfect to me. Do you understand?”

Whizzer felt his eyes fill with tears. He leaned into Marvin’s hand, before putting his own over it. Gently, he pulled his hand down with his body to lay on Marvin’s chest. “Marvin…” he breathed, trying to feel every part of him he could. Just to make sure he was real.

“Do you understand, Whizzer? My darling?”

Nodding, Whizzer bubbled a sob out of his chest. He nuzzled into Marvin’s clothes, trying to memorize how he smelled. How he felt. Just in case he wasn’t real. Because how could someone be so okay with this? If their positions were swapped, Whizzer swore he would have left. Turned him in.

But they aren’t.

And here Marvin was.

Holding him in the backseat of his car.

“You’re perfect.” Marvin repeated, kissing his hair again.

“Thank you.” Whizzer sobbed, trying to get unattainably closer to him. “Would it be possible to stay like this all night? Not drive home until morning?”

“I have work tomorrow, baby. I’ve got to be home so that I can get ready.”

Whizzer groaned, but nodded, slowly sitting up.

“I didn’t say we have to leave now. Just not in the morning. Lay with me for a bit longer, yeah?”

Smiling, Whizzer nodded, leaning back down. “Thank you.” He whispered.

“Of course, beautiful.” Marvin stroked his face and hair, and Whizzer relished in how calm Marvin was. He was relaxed, and it made Whizzer relax too. “Sleep.”

Whizzer closed his eyes, letting himself doze into a state of conscious daydreams.

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, Whizzer and Marvin went out looking for a bigger apartment.

Marvin had been able to see Jason, of course, but he hadn’t been able to stay with them yet. Whizzer’s one bedroom apartment wouldn’t be enough for an almost-teen and two grown men.

So there they were, touring apartments in the area. Trina had gotten a job a week back, so Marvin no longer needed to pay the rent for the house and could spend it on a home for the three of them, instead.

“What if we looked into something else? Like a little house right out of the city?” Marvin offered after their fourth failed tour. When Whizzer had gotten his apartment, he hadn’t cared what it looked like, because it was all he could afford. Because he could decorate it and make it look less run down.

“I like the city. It’s closer to both of our jobs, and listening to all the noise outside helps me relax at night by now.” Whizzer countered, grimacing at a wall with a hole punched through it. “Jesus, do the realtors not fix up these houses before putting them on the market?”

“We could… look at a more expensive neighborhood?” Marvin put down another offer, sighing.

Whizzer hummed, beginning to lead Marvin back to the car. “I dunno. I don’t want our neighbors to have a higher chance of being snobby assholes.”

“Who said we had to have neighbors?”

Raising an eyebrow, Whizzer started the car. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Marvin smiled as he buckled his seatbelt. “I bet we could afford a penthouse.”

Huffing out a laugh, Whizzer shrugged. “I’m a bartender, Marvin. I can’t afford that.”

“I’ll pay.” Marvin decided, reaching over and putting a hand on Whizzer’s knee.

“I’d rather have something we can both afford. I don’t want to put it all on you.” Whizzer sighed, stopping at a red light with a huff and turning to him. “That’d be pretty selfish of me.”

“Let me do this for you. Please.” Marvin pleaded, grabbing Whizzer’s hand and flashing him puppy eyes. “I want to. You deserve somewhere nice.”

The light turned green, and Whizzer turned back to the road. “Marvin…”

“I bet you’ll have tons of fun decorating it.”

“You spoil me.” Whizzer laughed quietly, sighing. “Fine. If you’re sure.”

Marvin grinned, nodding. “More than sure. Trust me, you’ll love it, darling.”

“Mm.”

So that’s what they looked for when they got home.

Whizzer quickly made Marvin some microwaveable ramen, before settling down with him on the couch and going back to the sales website.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” Marvin asked, massaging his thigh. Whizzer shook his head.

“Not hungry. Hey, this one’s pretty close to your workplace.” Whizzer pointed at a listing, looking at Marvin, questioning.

“But probably pretty far from yours.” Marvin countered, sighing.

“I don’t mind. I start at noon, you start at nine. So yeah. I’ll be fine. Looks pretty nice, too. Roof access, three bed, four bath… oo, Marvin, there’s a jacuzzi. And only one neighbor on our floor.” Whizzer smirked, nudging him. “Lets at least check it out, yeah?”

Marvin nodded in agreement, leaning into Whizzer. “This one’s like- in between. Wanna check that one too?”

They went on like that for a while, debating over distance, locations, quality and price. Soon, they had five to check out, tours scheduled.

“We should go to bed.” Marvin told him, checking the clock. Midnight.

Whizzer hummed, bringing his hand up to feel his heartbeat for a moment. It was too slow. Much too slow. He needed to eat. “Yeah… hey, I need to go out and do something first, okay? I got a text from my coworker, he needs help closing up. Some drunk dickhead won’t leave.”

Sighing, Marvin nodded. He seemed suspicious about it.

“I’m not gonna go get fucked at midnight, Marvin. I’m too tired for that, and if I wasn’t, it’s still midnight, and you’re home, and I’d probably just get you to do it. I’ll be back soon, alright? You don’t have to wait up, but if you do we can cuddle a bit before bed, yeah?” Whizzer walked over and trailed his arms around Marvin’s neck, kissing him softly.

“Okay.” Marvin agreed. He stroked Whizzer’s hair a bit, kissing his nose before patting his arm. “See you soon.”

Whizzer kissed him one more time, before leaving the house.

Routined process, making his way through each step, as much as it pained him. He didn’t like it. It felt too much like cheating.

But he had to live somehow.

And besides, Marvin said he was okay with it, even if it was blatantly obvious that it wasn’t. Marvin wasn’t okay with cheating, but he wouldn’t say a thing, because he wanted to keep Whizzer in a relationship. Because he loved Whizzer.

Or so he said.

He shouldn’t.

Whizzer wouldn’t admit he loved him. He couldn’t. He had already been too vulnerable with Marvin. He told him what nobody else would get to know.

He felt himself breach the skin of this random stranger.

He felt himself grow stronger as he stole just enough blood from him.

He saw, not felt—he couldn’t feel anymore, his mind had gone blank,— himself bash the man’s head against the wall, hopefully hard enough for them to forget about the whole encounter.

He went home to Marvin and locked himself in the bathroom for a few minutes.

He cried.

“Whiz, you okay in there?” Marvin asked, knocking softly.

“I’m fine.” Whizzer tried to sound sure. He knew he didn’t as he sobbed and choked on his words, making his voice crack.

Marvin unlocked the door with a coin and came in, sitting next to Whizzer on the floor. “Come to bed, Whizzer.” He sighed, leaning into him. “It’ll be more comfortable than the bathroom floor.”

Against his will, Whizzer cracked a smile at that. “Okay.” He conceded, grabbing Marvin’s hand and allowing him to lead him to bed. “Hold me.”

And Marvin did. Sweet, wonderful Marvin.

“Thank you.” He breathed.

Chapter Text

Whizzer won that debate.

After the tours, they ended up going with the first option. And so, they bought the penthouse, and went back home to pack up.

“Marvin?” Whizzer asked quietly, looking at him as he finished packing up all their bedding.

“What is it, beautiful?” Marvin smiled softly, walking over and bringing Whizzer up by the arms, hooking his own under his and pulling. Whizzer hummed and Marvin’s arms slid down to rest around his waist and gently nipped at his neck. “You alright?”

Slowly, Whizzer nodded, leaning into Marvin. “I’ve gotta go to work.” He groaned, pouting and turning his head to kiss Marvin.

Marvin kissed him back, reluctantly pulling away as he nodded. “I’ll keep packing. What time do you think you’ll be back?”

“Hopefully before 11:30. Sometimes my co-worker is a bit late to his shift.” Whizzer lied, sighing. His co-worker was never late. In fact, sometimes he was early. But finding someone is hard. Finding someone who seems enough like an asshole.

“Hm. Is your car still at the shop? You can always borrow mine if you’d like.” Marvin kissed his neck; not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make Whizzer whine as he pulled away.

“I’ll just walk in case you have some emergency with work or Jason. See you in a bit, Marvin.” He murmured, leaving him with one more kiss before throwing on his work apron and pin and leaving the house.

He held back a few tears as a stranger gently pushed him against an alleyway wall. He couldn’t find anyone who sucked. He was about to hurt an innocent man. The same had happened the night before. If he didn’t eat soon, that’d probably be the end of him.

And so, while a stranger trailed his hands across Whizzer’s chest, he trailed the man’s neck with his lips, letting a tear slip out as he bit down. He muffled the screams with his arm, eventually resulting in making him pass out by shoving his head against the brick wall behind them. The man passed out. Whizzer exhaled deeply.

It didn’t take too long to drain him just enough. Whizzer pulled his fangs out and dropped the body, backing up and out of the alley, ignoring the headlights he had seen. Surely they didn’t fully see. He wiped his mouth and eyes, trying to clear them of blood and tears and sinking down against the front wall of the bar, balling his uniform against his chest and sobbing into it. He fought the urge to scream.

A hand found its place on his shoulder. Whizzer looked up, finding Marvin staring back down at him. Whizzer froze. He looked past Marvin, finding that the car he had seen a moment before was his.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Marvin knew.

He knew he knew he knew he knew he knew.

He was never supposed to know.

Whizzer let out a small sob, shaking his head quickly. “Marvin, I-”

Marvin nodded.

Whizzer pushed him back and stood.

He ran away from Marvin.

He ran as fast as he could, just trying to get away.

Because all he could think about was labs.

Scientists making him act like a lab rat.

Making him act like an object.

Maybe that’s all he was.

Maybe he was just a test subject.

A tear slipped from his eyes. Then another. And another. And soon, it was just one after the other, refusing to stop as he struggled to breathe. As he clutched the railing of a bridge and stepped over the ledge, hooking his feet through the holes in the railing. Wind blew through his hair, making him feel cold and warm at the same time.

“No.” He whispered, choking out a sob. “No.”

This couldn’t be happening. He had been careful. He had been so, so careful to make sure Marvin wouldn’t find out. What was he even doing there? It was ten minutes before he said his hopeful time to be back would be.

He could go back tomorrow, right? Go while Marvin’s at work and pack his stuff, then disappear forever. That was option one.

Option two? He stopped loosening and tightening his grip on the ledge and let go.

Loosen.

Tighten.

Loosen.

Tighten.

Back and forth, swaying with the grip of his fists.

All it took for it all to be over would be to stop tightening his grip and slowly let go more.

Loosen.

Hold.

Loosen.

Hold.

Loosen.

Tighten.

Fuck.

Whizzer let out another gentle sob, before climbing back over the ledge and sliding down and bringing his knees to his chest.

Cars zipped by. He found a sickening sort of comfort in the fact that nobody stopped. Nobody tried to stop him. Nobody cared enough to do so. Except for one car. One stopped, and a person got out, sitting down next to him and pulling him into their arms.

“I’ve got you, darling. It's okay. I promise you it’s okay.”

Marvin.

“I- no, Marv, you- you saw- I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, baby. We can talk about this later, yeah? I know you won’t want to, but… Whizzer, you can’t continue keeping this a secret. I saw, and I won’t tell a soul what I saw, but baby, I want to understand. I want to help you in any way I can, okay? But to do that, I need to know.” Marvin spoke softly, with nothing but care in his voice. It made Whizzer feel sick.

Even so, Whizzer leaned into Marvin, nodding weakly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don't be sorry, love. I’ve got you.”

“What?” Whizzer asked softly, turning and reaching up to lightly touch Marvin’s face. “You- you called me-”

“Shit, Whiz, sorry, I know you don’t like it when I say that, I-”

Whizzer pushed his lips against Marvin’s, holding one hand on Marvin’s chest and the other buried in his hair. “I love you.” Whizzer gasped, breaking the kiss to speak before going back in, but with more. More passion, more love, more heat. More of everything he could give on a sidewalk that was sandwiched between a highway and an ocean.

Standing, Marvin pulled Whizzer up, not breaking the kiss. He led him to the car, putting him down into the passenger seat and only then breaking the kiss. “I love you too, baby. Let’s get you home, yeah sweetheart?”

“Kiss me more.” Whizzer breathed, grabbing Marvin’s pajama shirt collar and pulling him close. Marvin obliged for a moment, but soon pulled away, leaning their foreheads together.

“Once we’re home,” Marvin leaned back down to kiss him, “I’ll be doing more than kissing you. So why don’t you let me drive, hm?”

Whizzer groaned, kissing Marvin one more time before letting go. “Drive. Now.”

“Yes sir.” Marvin grinned, closed Whizzer’s door, and ran to the other side.

The ride home was torturous. Marvin kept one hand on the wheel, one dangerously close to his crotch. Every time Whizzer would try and shift or pull at his hand to just get him to go closer, Marvin would move it further away and get that stupid look in his eye. He would smirk while Whizzer let out a huff of frustration, before bringing his hand up to cup Whizzer’s face and gently thumbing over his lips.

“Just a few more minutes, baby.” Marvin muttered, moving his hand back onto its spot on Whizzer’s upper thigh.

Whizzer sighed, placing his own hand over Marvin’s and tightening his grip when Marvin tried to pull it away.

“Just- hold my hand for a minute, okay? Please.”

Marvin squeezed his hand, the hint of a smile on his face.

Chapter Text

“Marv?” Whizzer murmured, tracing small shapes into Marvin’s skin with his finger.

Quickly, Marvin had a finger on his jaw, tilting it up to make easier eye contact. “What is it, doll?”

“Is it okay if I just start with telling you what all was a lie?” Whizzer asked, cuddling closer to him and kissing his chest.

“Course.” Marvin agreed, nodding as he adjusted his arms to hold Whizzer as close as he was asking for.

“Okay, uh-” Whizzer paused, trying to scan his brain on where to start. “I don’t sleep. I can’t- I just- I don’t work like that anymore. I don’t eat anything normal either. And I don’t know what’s wrong with me because I won’t go to the doctor out of fear. And I lied about why I don’t date, and I have tried dating before. And I never cheated on you. Not once. And I did enjoy it when you told me you loved me, or when you called me dumb pet names, but I didn’t admit it because I was scared. Okay, I think that’s it, but honestly there’s so much wrong with me that it just gets hard to count, okay?” Whizzer took a deep breath, before burying himself in Marvin’s chest.

Marvin craned his neck to place a kiss to Whizzer’s hair, running his hands down to Whizzer’s thighs and pulling him closer. “I’m glad you’re telling me, dear.”

“I’ll tell you more tomorrow. I need to think on how to word all of this. Get some rest, okay? I love you.” Whizzer sighed, gently pinching some of Marvin’s skin between his thumb and middle finger; he massaged it out.

“I love you too, princess. You won’t mind me holding you while I sleep, would you?” Marvin asked, getting himself comfortable, but still tense enough to pull away.

“Please do. I like it when you hold me at night.” Whizzer smiled, preening as Marvin fully relaxed into him and kissed his hair again. “Night, Marv.”

Marvin squeezed him gently; it was a way he said goodnight. A way exclusively reserved for Whizzer. And he loved it. Whizzer kissed his chest, smiling softly as he sat with his thoughts and planned the conversation ahead of him.

Marvin shifted, placing a soft kiss to Whizzer’s hair to signal his awakening. “Hey.” Whizzer murmured, lacing their hands together and rolling on top of him. “Good morning.”

“Morning, sweetheart.” Marvin laughed, putting his hand on the nape of Whizzer’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss. “You’re looking gorgeous this morning.”

“This morning?” Whizzer raised his eyebrows.

“Always.”

Whizzer smiled tiredly. “Mm. That’s better.” He mumbled, leaning in for another kiss.

Marvin smiled mischievously, before turning them over and pinned Whizzer down. Whizzer laughed, gripping Marvin’s shoulders as Marvin began sucking lightly at his neck.

Moving his hands down, Marvin started tickling his sides, slipping an amused grin while going back to connect their lips. Whizzer couldn’t stop laughing; however, so it was more like they were passing air between them.

Whizzer yelped. He tried to move his hands to grab Marvin’s, but one of his arms came up to pin his hands up and began tickling his stomach, before pausing. “Is this okay?” Marvin asked, brushing Whizzer’s hair back.

“Yeah.” Whizzer laughed, breathless. “You’re such a dork, you know that?”

In lieu of a response, Marvin tickled his stomach again. Whizzer made an attempt to lean forward and hunch over his stomach, but was left with Marvin cutting him off with a soft kiss. He stilled his own hand and let Whizzer’s go, pecking him one more time before opening his eyes and moving his arms away. “Hi.” Marvin choked out, stifling a laugh.

“You’re such a dick.” Whizzer giggled, slapping Marvin gently on the arm and pushing him off. Marvin smiled, turning on his side and drawing small shapes into Whizzer’s chest.

“You don’t mind.” Marvin pointed out, poking his stomach.

“No. I like it when you’re all lovey like this.” They made eye contact for a moment, before Whizzer sighed and broke. “I think I’m ready to tell you the rest, if you’re in the mood to listen to me.”

Marvin nodded quickly, sitting up. “Of course. Say as much as you’re comfortable to.”

After a moment, Whizzer nodded, looking down. “Can you turn around?” He asked, fiddling with his fingers. “I think… that’d make it a bit easier.”

He did as asked, and Whizzer turned too, leaning their backs together and interlacing their hands. “Whenever you’re ready, dear.”

Whizzer took a deep breath, glancing down at their hands before looking straight ahead. “I have dated before. Once. His name was Nathan, and for a while I saw him as perfect. Like- like he was an angel that was sent for me to help pickup my life. And it lasted that way, for a while. He could keep up with me; and- I was happy, Marvin. For the first time since I was a toddler, I was truly happy. I loved him, I think. I really did.” He sighed, leaning his head back enough to touch Marvin’s. “Then there was this time—he was kissing my neck, had me up against the wall. I felt a small sting, and then I felt woozy. Next thing I know, I’m laying on the floor, and I’m tired, and I’m pale as a ghost. Nathan was gone. All his stuff was gone. There was a bandaid on my neck. I was scared.

I still don’t entirely understand it. If I do, I refuse to acknowledge it. But I’ve tried everything. I mean everything. Nothing else worked. The only thing that’ll keep me alive is human blood, and there was a time where I refused to eat anything, thinking that if it killed me, then at least I won’t be harming anyone. But fuck- it hurt so bad. I couldn’t feel anything but the pain. I couldn’t do it. Nothing else will kill me. I’m not even sure that most of my organs still work. I just know that if I drink blood, my heart beats. If I don’t, it stops, and it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. So, I would find guys in bars, bring them to my place, or an alleyway, somewhere private. And then I’d drain just enough, and then I’d leave them there. I’ll bang their head against the wall hard enough so that they forget. I make sure they don’t turn into… this.

And then I met you. I planned to do what I always did, but then you- I don’t know—you called me baby. Nobody’s ever called me that before. And I liked it. I really liked it. I didn’t hurt you, and I kept seeing you again and again and again, and now we’re here, and- Marvin, I love you. I love you so much. I’ve never told anyone about this before. You’re the only person that I’ve ever told I love them. Maybe I did my parents when I was little, but… not any times that I can remember. I trust you with this, so please. Don’t tell anyone anything about what I just told you. Please. I uh- I think I’m done.”

Marvin pressed gently on his shoulder, and Whizzer turned around, finding himself immediately pulled into Marvin’s arms. “I love you.” Marvin echoed, kissing his hair.

“Oh!” Whizzer exclaimed, pulling back just enough to see Marvin’s face. “There’s a spot on my neck, it has a scar from when it happened. Try not to kiss too hard there. It hurts when too much pressure is on it, but light touches feel nice. Just… letting you know.” He added, smiling softly before diving back into Marvin’s arms. He felt Marvin nod.

“Can I ask you a question, Whiz?” Marvin asked, stroking his hair. Whizzer nodded, melting into his hand. “Where were you gonna go? Last night, I mean.”

“I dunno. I forgot you were off work today, I was gonna get my stuff while you were gone and get on the nearest bus.”

“You were going to leave? Just like that?”

“I guessed it was what you would’ve wanted. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again, it was surprising when you came after me.”

Marvin sighed, but nodded, laying down and pulling Whizzer with him. “I’m glad I found you before you left. Who knows if I ever would have been able to find you.”

“I’m glad you still love me.”

Chapter Text

When Marvin woke up the next morning, he had called Whizzer’s name three times before he found him.

Whizzer sat on the ground with his legs crossed, headphones plugging his ears as he finished taking apart and boxing the coffee table. Marvin took one out and kissed his cheek, sitting next to him.

“Morning, sweetheart. Why don’t you take a break while I do the bed?” Marvin offered, smiling.

Shrugging, Whizzer moved the box to sit with the others. “I’d rather keep working. I’ll start bringing these boxes down to the U-Haul, okay?”

Marvin sighed, but nodded in agreement. “Don't overwork yourself, okay? Take a break if you need to.”

“Not tired.” Whizzer muttered, picking up a noticeably heavy box and beginning to walk to the car.

Truth was, he was tired. Extremely tired. But that didn’t matter. He had to prove to Marvin; if not himself, that he was able to do something. Contribute to the relationship more than being eye candy and almost always being up for sex. Marvin wasn’t his sugar daddy, even though Whizzer would let him spend money on Whizzer’s things. He lived on his own for years, he’s not suddenly useless whenever a guy comes along.

He finished packing the truck just as Marvin came down with the boxes their bedding, mattress and frame were in. “Alright, sweetheart, turn in your key and we’ll head over.” Marvin smiled, patting him on the back as he got into the front seat. Whizzer did as asked, before joining him in the passenger’s side and scooting to the middle seat.

Marvin wrapped an arm snugly around his waist, kissing his hair before he started the car. Whizzer hummed, but gave his hand back, smiling a bit. “This is a big vehicle, Marv. Use both hands to drive today.”

Sighing, Marvin did as told, kissing Whizzer on the cheek before starting the drive.

It was a long drive, no doubt about it, but it felt relatively short with AUX control. Whizzer shuffled their shared playlist, tapping his finger and leaning back in his seat, softly humming along. He wished he could sleep through the drive; even when he could sleep, falling asleep in a moving vehicle was difficult, if not impossible. He had never been able to do it before.

But he zoned out, watching trees fly by and turn to buildings; in a much richer city, and couldn’t help but think that he didn’t belong. He didn’t grow up in a family with much money. The fact that there was enough money divided between his own and what he stole from his parents when he left to even get a one room apartment in New York was a miracle. But he kept working and got the home that he had now—or rather, previously.

“Whizzer?” Marvin called softly, lips in a tight line. “When are we gonna get our cars?”

He thought for a moment. “We’ll drop the truck off and then call a taxi to our old apartment, where we can drive our own cars. Then, I’ll head back to our new place and start setting up Jason’s bed while you pick him up and head over, maybe do something fun before you do. And boom. Our cars are at our place.”

“Is Jason’s bed there yet?” Marvin asked, pulling into the complex and finding a place to park the moving truck.

“Yep! Should be near the mail center. Now grab a box and come on.” Whizzer laughed, hopping out of the truck and steadying himself on the door, trying to get over his dizziness. He made his way over to the back, where he picked up a box of furniture; Marvin doing the same, and made his way to the elevator. He set down the box as he turned the key to the compartment with their floor number, clicking it as Marvin entered the elevator.

Marvin set down his own box, before cornering Whizzer in the elevator and kissing him, gently pushing him against the wall and holding his waist.

“You know those doors could open any second, right?” Whizzer breathed, trailing his own arms around Marvin’s shoulders.

Smiling, Marvin nodded and kissed him again. “Do you care?”

“No.”

“Me neither. I like the thrill of it.”

Whizzer smiled back and leaned back in.

Mavin kept it soft, gently massaging their lips together for a moment. Whizzer didn’t even notice the elevator door open until there was a short burst of laughter from the other side and Marvin jerked away from him, breathing heavily.

“You two don’t even have a box in the house and you’re already making out? Calm yourselves.” The blonde who was standing in the doorway across from theirs giggled, gesturing for them to step into the hallway before holding out her hand. “I’m Cordelia. My girlfriend is at work right now, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon. Let me know if you need any help moving in!” She grinned as Whizzer shook her hand, nodding.

“We will. Thank you, Cordelia. I’m Whizzer, this is Marvin.” Whizzer smiled, pinching Marvin—who still looked absolutely mortified—to get him to shake her hand.

He did so, before they started moving boxes inside, and were about halfway through when Whizzer’s exhaustion got the better of him. He tripped over their porch, the box he was carrying falling forwards as the ground hit him. It hurt. It hurt like hell. He barely had enough blood left, but his head was gushing out blood and he couldn’t stop it. It took a moment before there was a hand on his shoulder, and Marvin was turning him over. Everything was blurry, and he felt dizzy. He felt weak. Marvin scooped him up, helping him sit up against the wall.

“Shit, Whiz…” Marvin grimaced, stroking his hair, careful not to touch his cut. “I’ll go ask Cordelia for a bandage, okay? Just- stay here a minute.”

“I’m fine, Marvin.” Whizzer huffed, trying to stand, but ultimately falling back down.

Marvin cupped his cheek, furrowing his eyebrows and lowering his voice. “When was the last time you ate, baby?”

“Not since you found out.” Whizzer muttered, leaning his head back and fluttering his eyes shut with a groan.

“I’m getting you something for your head. And I’m gonna figure out some way for you to eat something. Don’t try and move, okay sweetheart?”

Whizzer gave up. He nodded weakly, letting out a quiet whine. “Be quick.”

Chapter Text

Whizzer had no clue how long Marvin was gone for. All he could think about was the throbbing pain eating at his forehead and the horrible need to fill his body with blood.

When Marvin did return, he wrapped his head in gauze and kissed his forehead gently. “Let’s get you inside, darling.” He murmured, wrapping an arm under Whizzer’s armpits and lifting him, helping him into the house. “I couldn’t find any way for you to eat.” He added, frowning. He looked up, eyeing a screw on the wall.

“Don’t.” Whizzer warned, glaring at him. “You’ll get an infection.”

Marvin shrugged, lips in a tight line. “Cordelia’s girlfriend is a doctor. I’ll ask her to treat it if I get one.” He sighed, before grabbing a ZipLock and walking over to the screw, tightly shutting his eyes as he deeply cut his inner elbow open. He squeezed the cut, getting as much blood out as possible. He managed a sandwich sized bag, before walking over to Whizzer and putting it to his mouth. “Drink.”

Whizzer did as told, feeling admittedly better afterwards. He helped Marvin clean and patch his arm up, kissing him softly as a way of thanking him. “Make sure that stays clean, baby. And uh… thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” Marvin murmured, leaning in to kiss Whizzer softly. “I’m going to keep bringing boxes in. Take a little break, okay?”

Raising his eyebrows, Whizzer sighed. “I gain energy really fast. I’m good to keep helping.”

“And that’ll look a bit suspicious, huh? Why don’t you start putting our bed together if you want to keep helping.” Marvin offered, squeezing his shoulder. Whizzer nodded, though hesitantly.

“Mm. Call if there’s a box too heavy for you!” Whizzer teased, winking before turning to one of the boxes. He took a deep breath, before looking in a few boxes until he found the right one, taking it to their bedroom and emptying it.

He was just finishing up when Marvin came over, trailing his arms around Whizzer’s waist and hooking his head over his shoulder. “Can you help me bring the dresser up, baby? I think it’ll be a two person job to carry it since we didn’t take it apart.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Whizzer smiled at him, pecking him on the cheek. He followed Marvin down, leaning on him in the elevator as they declined, eyes closed. “I wish I could sleep.” He muttered. “You’re so warm. You would be nice to sleep on.”

Marvin laughed, kissing his neck lightly. “If you ever just want to lay together and you can pretend to sleep for a bit, be my guest. You’re cute when you’re comfortable.”

“And you’re a sap now. Great. Let’s get this dresser, yeah?” Whizzer begrudgingly pushed off of him, making his way over to the back of the moving truck. “Is this all we have left?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. They only had the dresser still in the truck.

“Mhm. It’s been a while.” Marvin told him, coming back up behind him and squeezing his waist.

Whizzer nodded, before picking up one side of the dresser and gesturing for Marvin to do the same.

They brought the furniture up, situated it in their room, and pulled the boxes of clothes, along with their nightstands, into the room. Whizzer fell onto their neatly made bed, pulling Marvin down with him and into a cuddle position. He lay engulfed in Marvin’s arms for a while, before Marvin tapped him on the shoulder and he brought his head up.

“Why haven't you eaten since then?” Marvin asked, stroking his hair.

“No time.” Whizzer murmured, shrugging.

Marvin raised an eyebrow, stilling his hand. “We were just laying in bed all day until today. You had plenty of time.” He countered.

“Exactly. I just… I wanted to lay with you, is all. I forgot that I needed to until today, and today I was busy.” Whizzer moved his head back down, letting out a small whine when Marvin pulled away and sat with his legs crossed across from him. Hesitantly, Whizzer mirrored him. “What?”

“You have to eat, Whizzer.”

“I know.”

“Tell me the truth on why you didn’t.”

“I did tell you the truth!”

Marvin stared at him with a knowing look. A knowing, disappointed look.

“It was true at first.” Whizzer admitted, looking at the way right behind Marvin. “But I… it was fine before anyone knew, okay? I’m not sure why. But I can’t keep hurting people for it, Marvin. I just can’t.”

Nodding, Marvin scooted closer, bringing Whizzer back into his arms. “We’ll figure it out. But you’ll need to in the meantime, okay? Just a bit longer, I promise. It’ll be okay. I love you.”

A tear slipped from Whizzer’s eye as he scooted forward. “Thank you.” He whispered, before adding, “I love you too.”

Marvin kissed his hair, and Whizzer couldn’t help but let out a small sob, trying his best to get even closer to him. “Please don’t leave.”

“Never.” Marvin whispered, kissing his hair again. “I’ll stay right here with you. I’ve got you, my darling.”

“Good.” Whizzer choked out, leaning his head into Marvin’s chest. “Let’s stay like this for a little?”

Nodding, Marvin held him tighter, shifting into a more comfortable position and fluttering his eyes closed.

Whizzer stayed put while Marvin napped, wrapping his arms and legs around him and pushing his face into his chest, eyes closed. After a while, he felt Marvin’s hand shift against him, moving to hold his head. He began stroking his hair gently, and Whizzer melted into it, humming quietly. “Warm.” Whizzer muttered, squeezing himself closer. Marvin chuckled, continuing to gently scratch his scalp with one hand and holding him close with the other.

“You comfortable, baby?” Marvin asked, a teasing hint to his voice.

“Yeah.” Whizzer hummed, letting out a small, content noise.

“We need to go return the truck and pick up Jason soon.” Marvin murmured, switching to run his fingers through Whizzer’s hair. Whizzer groaned, tightening his grip.

“Do we have to?”

“Unless we want to be charged for an extra day, yeah.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“We’re not that rich, baby.”

Whizzer groaned again, stubbornly pulling away. “Fuck you.”

“I love you too, baby. Now come on, we’ve got to go.”

Chapter Text

The ride to drop the truck off, along with the taxi ride, was fine. He enjoyed himself, keeping one hand somewhere on Marvin at all times. It’s what kept him comfortable. He trusted Marvin completely by now, of course, and with that, the reason for keeping Marvin in his sight at all times changed. It used to be to keep him from telling anyone. Now it’s because he feels more comfortable when he’s around.

But now he was alone in his car, driving home with deep breaths, trying to act like he wasn’t as dependent as he was. The amount of dependence he swore to himself he would never feel again.

When Nathan left—when he killed him—Whizzer had to rebuild his life from the ground up. He tried to fix himself, he really did. All he ended up with was a shabby apartment he tried his best to patch up and a job that left most of his income to how hot he could look while pouring drinks. It was bullshit. Meanwhile, his fiancée just up and left afterwards like it was nothing. Like Whizzer wasn’t left broken and used. He wouldn’t even be friends with anyone for years.

Broken.

Weak.

Blind.

Naive.

He shouldn’t be thinking about this while driving. That was obvious as his eyes filled with tears and he had to pull over. He slammed his fist down on his wheel, letting out a broken sob as he clutched the sweater he was wearing. Marvin’s sweater. He used that to ground himself as he rocked back and forth in his seat, trying to regulate his breaths without another person’s to use as a reference.

He ended with his head back against the seat and a hand against his chest, keeping track of his heartbeat. Once it was at a reasonable pace, he got back on the road, trying to keep his mind blank for the rest of the drive.

It worked well enough.

By the time he got back, he felt as though he could burst at any moment. But even so, he persevered, going along with Marvin and his planning. He went to Jason’s room, and put together his bed, dresser, and nightstand, finishing up about an hour before Marvin said he’d be home with Jason.

In the meantime, he decided to get started on their living room, since the couch and TV stand were never taken apart. Marvin most likely wouldn’t mind, and if he did, they could rearrange together at a later date, but they should have some sort of space to spend time as a family in their own home. Besides, they both already knew that Whizzer was the designer out of the two of them. He made that shabby apartment look much more expensive than it was, so he would do just fine with this.

He quickly got the furniture to a position that he liked, and even without pictures and decor on the wall and bookshelf, he thinks he made it look quite homely. After the living room, he decided that his remaining time could be spent with arranging his clothing into his side of the dresser and closet, since he only had ten minutes left and he wouldn’t be too uncomfortable with only getting it half done today.

He heard the door open and close, so he strolled out, meeting them at the door and waving to Jason. The boy waved back, and Whizzer pointed him to his room. “You’ve told him the plan, right?” Whizzer asked, giving Marvin a quick peck.

Marvin nodded, frowning in mock-offense. “Did you really have that little faith in me?”

Laughing, Whizzer led him to sit on the couch, leaning into him. “I did have faith in you, I was just checking.” He promised, lacing his hand with Marvin’s and leaning his head on his shoulder.

The plan with Jason was to take him to a mall tomorrow and let him design his room. They would give him a $500 budget, letting him choose wall colors, posters, lamps, and even just small things to do in his room, so that he knew he had a say in what goes on in the house.

“I didn’t have time to set up the kitchen. Do you want to go out to eat tonight or order in and eat on the couch while watching a movie or something?” Whizzer offered, thumbing over Marvin’s knuckles and craning his neck to look him in the eye.

“Let’s just order in, I’m too tired to go somewhere tonight.” Marvin decided, smiling softly. “How’d your day go?”

“Good. Finished his furniture, the living room furniture, and most of my clothes are put away now.” Whizzer told him, smiling softly and putting his head back and closing his eyes. “I wish that I could sleep so that sometime I could pretend to fall asleep and you would have to either stay with me on the couch all night, or carry me to bed. This sucks.”

Marvin chuckled, kissing his hair. “If only. Maybe I’ll carry you to bed sometime just to appease your fantasies.”

Whizzer grinned at him, leaning in for a kiss. “See, this is why I love you.”

“Oh really? Nothing else?” Marvin teased, an amused smile crossing his lips.

“And your dick.” Whizzer whispered, smiling back. “That’s nice too.”

Laughing, Marvin nudged him with his elbow. “My child is in the other room.”

“I didn’t even say that loudly! I’m told that I’m a good whisperer.” Whizzer crossed his arms.

“Oh yeah? Who told you that?”

“You did! Like last week!” Whizzer giggled, slapping his arm before leaning into him. “Forget to take your memory supplements today, old man?”

Marvin playfully pushed him away, trying to hide his smile. “I’m not that old, you dick!”

“Oh, so when I say it-”

Cutting him off, Marvin kissed him quickly, before pulling away and leaning their foreheads together. “That made up for it?”

Whizzer nodded, laughing breathily a few more times as he nuzzled back into Marvin’s neck. “You’re a jerk.”

“You still love me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Whizzer kissed his neck, smiling against his chin. “Cuddle with me?” He offered, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Always.” Marvin pulled him closer and turned a bit, wrapping his arms around Whizzer’s waist. “What do you want to order for dinner?”

Shrugging, Whizzer scooted a bit closer. “Let Jason choose. Just hold me.”

Marvin held him even closer and kissed his hair.

Chapter Text

They agreed to wait for Jason to come out of his room to ask him what he wants for dinner. Scratch that. Whizzer buried into Marvin and told him that’s the plan. Marvin didn’t protest at all, instead chuckling and stroking his back.

About fifteen minutes later, Jason walked out of his bedroom, hovering awkwardly at the door. “Is he asleep?” He whispered, gesturing to Whizzers still body.

“I’m up!” Whizzer called, begrudgingly pushing himself off of Marvin and smiling over at Jason. “Just needed to close my eyes for a minute. What’s up, kid?”

“Are we doing anything for dinner or should I make myself something?” He asked, lacing and unlacing his hands and rocking from side to side. The same nervous habits Marvin has.

“We were gonna let you pick where we’ll order in. Anything you’re craving right now?” Whizzer brought his legs up to his chest, leaning his head down on his knees. Jason came and sat in between them, thinking.

“Subway?”

“Good choice.” Whizzer tossed Marvin his phone from off the coffee table, shrugging. “You have the app.”

“How’d you know?” Marvin froze, raising an eyebrow.

“We’ve ordered Subway off the app on your phone before. I think my order will still be in the recents.” Whizzer looked over. “Yep. Just add that.”

Of course, Whizzer wouldn’t actually eat the sandwich once it got there. He would casually pass it on to Marvin, drawing no attention to either of them.

Jason gave Mavin his order as well, and then began looking for a movie, eventually settling on the original Scream. He moved to the armchair in the corner, and Whizzer scooted back into Marvin. Marvin’s arms trailed around his chest and locked themselves there, before Whizzer quickly got himself situated.

“I’m terrified of horror movies, just so you know.” Marvin whispered. Whizzer looked at him and, sure enough, his face was like paper.

“Aw. Do you need me to hold you instead in case you get too scared?” Whizzer teased with an amused smile.

“And sacrifice my safe spot behind a human shield? Not a chance.” Marvin huffed. Giggling, Whizzer pushed Marvin’s head to look at the movie, before leaning his head back and watching as well.

Marvin wasn’t kidding when he said he would get scared.

About half the time, his arms were tight around him, almost, but not quite, enough to hurt. Whizzer held his hand, giving him a quick peck on the cheek whenever it got to a point that Marvin deemed ‘too scary.’ Which, in other words, was every single jumpscare, murder, or even small injury.

“Is he like this everytime?” Whizzer asked when they had to pause the movie so that Marvin could grab the food from the lobby.

“No. Usually he screams. Maybe he just isn’t that scared yet.” Jason shrugged, and Whizzer snickered, glancing over at the door.

“Stay here.” Whizzer breathed, before standing and slowly making his way downstairs to Marvin, holding his breath as he leant into his ear and whispered, “boo.”

Marvin yelped, jumping and turning around quickly, pushing Whizzer, who was bordering on hysterics, back. “Jesus, you asshole!” Marvin breathed, taking quick, deep breaths.

“Woah, Marvin. You’re in a public area. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear you get this scared over Scream, would you?” Whizzer smirked, taking Marvin’s wallet and paying the driver, thanking him, and taking him back upstairs, leaning up against the door once they were there. “So, Jason told me if you get too scared during a horror movie you scream.” Whizzer teased, grabbing the bag of food out of his hand and leading him back to the living room, throwing Jason his sandwich and taking his and Marvin’s out of the bag. “And I thought it’d be fun to test that theory.”

Groaning, Marvin curled back up on the couch, giving Whizzer less access to lean on him. “You both suck.”

“Aw, Marv, that’s not very nice.” Whizzer pouted, moving Marvin’s legs and taking his spot back. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, baby. Alright, Jason, want to unpause the movie?”

“Can’t I eat my sandwich in peace?” Marvin asked, a pleading glint in his eyes.

Whizzer pretended to think about it, before looking back at the movie. “No.” He decided, nodding to Jason and settling back in to continue watching the movie.

To nobody’s surprise, Jason was right. By the end of the movie, Marvin was muffling small yelps into his hand whenever anything unexpected happened. Whizzer was holding back giggles, and Jason seemed to be used to it enough to be content with just a small, amused smile.

After the movie, Marvin went to help get Jason settled into bed and Whizzer changed into a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. When Marvin came back into their room, he did the same, before tackling Whizzer—eliciting a yelp— onto the bed and bringing him in to cuddle, kissing him.

“Are you even going to be able to sleep tonight?” Whizzer asked, stroking Marvin’s hair.

Marvin hummed, shrugging. “I wouldn’t mind staying up with you if I can’t.”

“Mm. What if I fake sleep, what would you do then?”

“I’m not sure how you think I’d believe it.”

Whizzer chuckled a bit, before forcing himself closer to Marvin and kissing his ear. “Try and get some sleep, baby.”

“Wait, Whiz?” Marvin added quickly, pulling back just enough to look at him. “I have an idea for what we can get you to eat. I have no idea if it’s possible, but we can try, yeah?”

Nodding, Whizzer smiled at him, curling back into him. “Thank you.” He whispered, grinning into Marvin’s shirt “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, sweet boy.”

The next morning, Marvin went over to the neighbors, and when he came back in, he had a small bag in hand.

“Okay, so my idea can’t be consistent, but I got you something for now, and before I say this, they don’t know, okay? Cordelia’s girlfriend, Charlotte, you know how she’s a doctor? She agreed to take you in to get you some blood for ‘medical purposes.’ That sounds okay?” Marvin rambled, passing him over the bag, where Whizzer found a blood transfusion bag stored inside.

“You’re a miracle worker, you know that?” Whizzer laughed breathily, though it was more out of disbelief. “How’d you get this?”

“I uh- had Charlotte draw my blood. For you. Is that okay?”

Whizzer nodded, going over and engulfing Marvin into a tight hug. “Was your plan to give me yours?” He asked, smiling.

“It was, yeah.” Marvin confirmed, returning the hug.

“Thank you.” Whizzer breathed, grinning and allowing a tear to slip out.

Chapter Text

And the next day, as promised, Marvin drove Whizzer to the hospital at the scheduled time Charlotte had given them.

“Now, remember that this isn’t even part of my job, so I’m extra breaking the rules by getting this to you, so nobody can know about this. Deal?” Charlotte muttered, walking them to a room with large commercial refrigerators filling the walls.

“Deal.” Whizzer agreed immediately, a backpack hanging off of his shoulders.

Charlotte opened a fridge with Marvin’s blood type in it, since that’s what he told Charlotte Whizzer would need the day before. “How often do you think you’ll need a pack?” She asked, writing down a few notes.

“Every other day.” Whizzer told her hesitantly. He wasn’t sure how much the normal amount would be.

“Okay. I’ll give you a month's worth. Come see me once you’re out, okay? And you’ll want to buy a fridge to keep it in, make sure it’s at about three degrees Celcius. I have this all written down, don’t worry.”

Whizzer nodded, smiling softly as she filled the backpack Whizzer had.

“Thanks, doc. You’re a lifesaver.”

“That’s my job.” Charlotte sighed, patting him on the back quickly. “Now go. We’ll all be screwed if we’re caught in here.”

As they filed out, Whizzer spotted a glove on the ground that had P. Johnson, written on it. Was that there when they walked in? Whizzer wasn’t sure. He tried not to think about it too much.

Instead of saying anything, Marvin drove him home to look after Jason while he went out to buy a mini fridge for their room.

Jason taught him the rules to chess, and now they were playing their first real game. Unsurprising to them both, Jason was kicking his ass. Marvin walked in, waved to them both, and went to set up the fridge and put the blood inside of it. Once he finished that, he came and sat on the couch next to Whizzer, leaning into him.

“You hungry?” Marvin muttered in his ear, massaging his back lightly.

“I’ll eat tomorrow.” Whizzer murmured back, smiling softly. “Don't want to run out halfway through, do I?”

Marvin shook his head, continuing to watch the game and giving Whizzer tips every so often. Jason still won. Of course he still won. The kid was a legend.

After a few more rounds, it had been getting late, so all three of them settled into bed, Marvin on Whizzers chest, a stark contrast to how they usually lay together. Whizzer ran his hand through his sleeping lover's hair, smiling to himself.

They had finished decorating the house, and it was beginning to look a lot more homely than it had just days before. Pictures sat on the walls, ones that Whizzer took, along with a dick painting in their bedroom that Marvin apparently had been hiding in Trina’s basement for years before the divorce.

It was homely. It was sweet. Maybe the dick painting was slightly less “homely” and “sweet,” but the rest of the house still felt that way none the less.

How Whizzer loved it so.

He never thought he'd get to get used to this.

Oh how glad he was that he was wrong.

Over the next week, the two of them got closer with their neighbors, going as far as to planning a weekly dinner and game night, which they decided to start the day after they planned it.

Whizzer mostly ate before they got there, and spent the rest of their planning time helping Marvin cook.

“You know, Cordelia’s a caterer. You might want to ask her for tips sometime.” Whizzer teased after stopping Marvin from burning something for the fourth time. “How about you go out and get some wine, yeah? I’ll finish this so that you don’t end up making some monstrosity you call seasonings.”

Marvin groaned, closing the pantry door and walking over to put his arms around Whizzer’s waist from behind. He hooked his head over his shoulder, leaning into him a bit. “You don’t haven’t eaten anything real in years. How are you so much better at this than me?” He asked, kissing Whizzer’s shoulder gently.

“My mom and I used to cook dinner together. She taught me all she knows. It’s a bit hard to forget after being reminded for ten years. It echoes in my brain now.” Whizzer smiled, looking in Marvin’s direction and holding the back of his head.

“You’ve been cooking since you were eight?” Marvin asked, a bit bewildered.

“Six.” Whizzer corrected, bitterly. He didn’t get into it. Marvin didn’t need to know right this second.

“But if you did it until you moved out-”

“Just drop it. Please. I’ll tell you tomorrow if you want to know.” Whizzer turned around, forcing a smile. “Wine. Go. Love you, I’ll see you soon.” He ushered Marvin out, leaving him with a kiss before shutting the door.

Whizzer walked back to the stove, stirring the Mac and Cheese Marvin was attempting to make. How he was failing to make the dish, Whizzer had no clue.

Even so, he melted some cheese, drained the noodles, and added milk, butter, and a few extra seasonings. It looked good. He’d have Marvin taste test it. He didn’t want to eat more than he already would to keep up appearances. Either way, he’d be throwing up later.

It didn’t take too long for Marvin to get back, wine in hand as Whizzer packed up the food. “Hey.” Whizzer smiled at him, the time in between the two conversations bringing him back into a better mood, and brought a spoonful up to Marvin’s lips. “Taste test for me?”

Marvin took the spoon into his mouth, giving him a thumbs up and a nod as he swallowed it. “That’s good. Can you write down the recipe for me?” Marvin asked, bringing Whizzer in by the belt loops and kissing him softly. Whizzer hummed, smiling and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. He wrote down the recipe, sticking it on the fridge with a magnet and smiling at Marvin.

“It’s six.” Whizzer pointed out, tilting his head. “Ready?”

Nodding, Marvin walked over to the front door and held it open for Whizzer, following behind him across the hallway.

Whizzer had Marvin sneak as much food off of his plate as possible, and somehow they managed to get away with replacing his wine with blood. Now, however, they had cards in hand, and Whizzer was showing off his “Uno” skills.

“Uno!” Whizzer called quickly, laughing as Marvin yelled ‘what?’ Right after. They went around the circle again, and Whizzer won, earning a groan from the rest of the group.

“How have you won every time?” Cordelia asked, blinking.

“I’m just a boss at this.”

They played a few more rounds, and Marvin was one drink to being blackout drunk, so that’s when they decided to pack it up and go home.

“C’mon, Marvin.” Whizzer laughed, supporting his entire body weight. “I expect that Tupperware back next week!” He called, before making his way back across the street.

Chapter Text

That night, as the two of them lay in bed, Whizzer couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched. Maybe Marvin was awake? No, he’s been dead asleep since he got him into bed. He was probably imagining it, this building is ten stories high. Most likely, the suffocating walls and the high altitude was fucking with his brain. Whizzer shook Marvin a bit. “Hey, if you’re awake, I’m gonna go on a walk, okay? I need some fresh air. Do you want to come with me?”

No response.

Sighing, Whizzer left him a note in case he woke up to find Whizzer not in bed with him, and left the hallway to get into the elevator. He stepped inside, leaning his head back, letting all of his worries slip away for just a moment. In here, nobody could hurt him. Here, he felt safe. Almost completely safe.

Almost.

Nowhere was completely safe.

Once the elevator stopped, Whizzer found it daunting to open his eyes again. Because they weren’t on the bottom floor. Another person walked in, and said person went straight towards him, linking an arm around his shoulders. “Don't make a sound.” He muttered. The hand that wasn’t suffocating Whizzer further was sitting in his coat pocket. “You’re going to walk out of this building with me, and you’re going to get in the car I lead you to. Does that sound good?”

“Why would I do that?” Whizzer huffed, trying—and failing— to get away. That was reason enough for him.

There was a click, one that sounded like the safety of a gun coming off in movies. Whizzer sucked in a breath.

“Okay.” He breathed.

“Okay.” The man whispered, tightening his grip around Whizzer’s shoulders.

The elevator door opened, and he walked as calmly as he could, staring straight ahead. He was led to the car, which he slipped into, and then he heard the doors lock. It sounded final.

Surely someone found that odd. Surely, someone who cares enough about how wrong that looked was awake and saw it happen. Anyone.

The man was in the back seat next to him. The windows were tinted. The man’s gun was out in the open now. He asked Whizzer for his hands. Whizzer complied, allowing them to get tied together. He was told to open his mouth. He did, and a piece of fabric was forced in. A final piece of fabric slid over his eyes.

How long until someone notices that he’s missing?

Marvin would wake up and not know when Whizzer wrote that note. He would go to work, come home, and expect Whizzer to still be at work. It wouldn’t be until 11:30 that Marvin would realize anything’s wrong. Who knows how far this car could go in that much time.

Against his better judgment, Whizzer let out a soft sob. Not much noise came out. Still, he was hit on the back of the head, hard, and Whizzer fell forward. He was pulled up by the hair, and Whizzer fell limp against the window.

Let them think he passed out.

He’d be safer if they thought he was asleep.

He didn’t move for the rest of the drive. The long, long drive. They could be in a different state for all he knew. But still, eventually he stirred, and they yanked him up, dragging him backwards by the arms into a cold building. It smelled of antibacterials and chemicals he didn’t want to think about being put on his skin. He was put into a room, and all the bindings were taken off. A heavy metal door locked as he was left in the room.

A bed sat in the corner. The walls were a blinding white, and so was the floor and ceiling. He wasn’t given the liberty of a window. He was gifted a nightstand with a notepad and a few books in the drawer, and a lamp sat on top.

A chair, table, and small, locked cabinet was situated in the other half of the room. The chair was armed with too many restraints, some of them he didn’t even want to know about.

There was a slightly gapped door, and Whizzer could see a bathroom inside of it. That’s nice.

The entire room lacked any type of decoration. Any clues that he was in a home, rather than a sort of fucked up prision cell.

He wanted Marvin to find him.

Where the fuck was Marvin?

Whizzer lay back on the bed, taking deep breaths. He was okay, for now. He wasn’t hurt, he was just lost. So what, his greatest fear may have happened, he’d be okay.

It's okay.

Deep breaths.

If Marvin were here, how would he help?

He placed a hand on his own heart. Slowly and deliberately, he breathed, fluttering his eyes closed.

An idea came to him.

He took the many pillows from the bed, laying on them and taking a few cases off so that it felt like he was being held. Leaning down onto the pillows, Whizzer took the blanket over his legs and closed his eyes. He kept breathing, acting like he did when Marvin would cuddle him, or sleep next to him. This could work. He could pretend.

After a while, the door opened, and Whizzer opened his eyes, turning his head to find himself met with a tall man, along with multiple other people in lab coats behind him. Whizzer felt like he was about to puke.

Trying not to shake, Whizzer stood at the foot of his bed, nodding stiffly in acknowledgment.

“Get in the chair.” He was told. Whizzer shook his head.

The tall man cocked an eyebrow, before walking over and grabbing Whizzer’s arm, pulling him along with minimal effort. Whizzer was trying to get away with nearly all of his strength, and they were the same height. How was this so easy for him?

Whizzer was forced into the chair, and the restraints were locked before he could even try to get up.

“You know, I have to thank you, kid. You got me a promotion.” He huffed out a laugh, voice deep and rough. Whizzer hesitantly looked at his name tag.

Dr. Johnson.

Chapter Text

Whizzer tried to pull his legs and waist out, but to no avail—he wasn’t sure what he expected, really. He felt like he was on death row. Dr. Johnson kept telling him to do something, and he wasn’t sure what, but he shook his head all the same.

The man in front of him just got angrier and angrier, and eventually, Whizzer shook his head, and was met with a slap to the cheek. It stung, and the force made his head turn to the side, and he decided to just listen to what was asked of him.

“Give me your arm, Whizzer.”

There was an angry pause between his words, as if he was about to explode. As if he hadn’t already. Whizzer didn’t really want to know what would happen if he refused.

And so, he pushed his arm out, looking off to the side. He felt something sharp press into a vein. He flinched. He’s always hated needles.

Once they were done taking what they needed, they put metal cuffs on him to connect his wrists to the chair, along with his neck. He couldn’t look away anymore. Without being able to turn his head, all he could see was the face of the doctor who hurt him, forced him into a position where he couldn’t defend himself.

Whizzer screwed his eyes shut. He felt a gentle hand caress his face, and he relaxed the slightest bit. If he could just think of Marvin-

It was just Marvin.

He let out a breath, relaxing into the touch.

Marvin.

He leaned his head back.

Marv-

“Open your eyes, Whizzer.”

But it wasn’t Marvin.

Because Marvin wouldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t keep him latched to a chair while people ran tests on him.

Whizzer opened his eyes. The hand pulled away, and the restraints were taken off.

“That’s enough for today. Take a break, kid.”

“Don’t call me that.” Whizzer huffed, looking away.

“I’ll call you whatever I want.” He was told, earning a glare. Whizzer clenched his jaw.

“No, you won’t.”

The restraint on his neck came back, and Dr. Johnson squeezed his shoulder roughly.

“Hm. How about you spend the night here? Will that teach you how this works, kid?”

Whizzer felt as though he’d puke. “Fuck you.” He choked out as Dr. Johnson left the room. He heard a deep chuckle, and then the slam and echoey click of the door closing and locking.

It's not like being able to walk around would be useful in any way. There was nothing to do in the room he was put in. All this sacrificed was his comfort, but it wasn’t like he could sleep. He wouldn’t be losing anything by being stuck in this chair.

He let himself zone out, trying to make the time go by quickly. What time was it? Has Marvin noticed anything was wrong yet? Has anyone? If Marvin did notice something was wrong, did he think Whizzer was just willing to up and leave without taking any of his stuff? Was Marvin looking for him? If Marvin did find him, could he even help him?

He wanted help.

He wanted to see Marvin. Even hearing his voice would soothe him the slightest bit.

Whizzer sighed, trying to make up fantasies in his mind to get himself to waste time.

Some time—god knows how long—passed, and the door opened; Dr. Johnson walked in with the same hoard of people. They got to work, and just like last time, Whizzer fought at first, but eventually gave in, doing whatever was asked of him.

This time, when everyone left, Dr. Johnson stayed behind again, sitting behind his chair with a smug look sitting on his face.

“How about we make a deal, Whizzer.” He mused, walking around and sitting so that Whizzer could get a better look at him. “On days like today, where you’re a bit of a fighter, the days are normal. You’ll get to walk around your room, do whatever you’d like with the notepad and books in the drawer, and then we’ll repeat the next day. On days you’re good; don’t fight, don’t make… rude comments to the staff, we’ll let you write a letter; with a few restrictions, to whoever you want. We’ll give them instructions if they want to write back. Think of it as a treat. On days you… aren’t, you’ll get some sort of confinement. Last night, you stayed in this chair. We’ll change it up a bit, give you a bit of a thrill. We might have you hang pretty high in the air, keep you laying down in a tight space, whatever’s available, really. But overall, it’s your choice what happens. How would that feel, hm? To get a bit of control in your day.”

Whizzer fought back the urge to scream. Point out the fact that they’re treating him like a dog being trained. That this is against most laws for human rights. But no. He nodded, and tried his best to maintain eye contact. “That’d be nice.” He choked out, forcing a small smile. The restraints were taken off, and he was left alone again. Whizzer let out a small sigh, going back to his just too stiff bed and laying down.

He didn’t fight the next day; they came in, and the restraints were put on. He did as they asked. Afterwards, he was given a pad of paper and a pen, and a small sit down talk with Dr. Johnson.

“Okay. You can’t mention where you are, what happens here, or ask for help. Anything that will make him want to look harder for you. If you break these rules, the letter won’t get sent. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good boy.”

Dr. Johnson patted his shoulder and left. Whizzer walked into his attached bathroom and threw up.

He was left with a sour taste in his mouth after he washed it out in the sink. He felt disgusting. But as he looked at the pad of paper, he couldn’t help but have faith. Marvin knew how to read between the lines.

And so, he walked over to his bed and started writing.

Marvin-

Hope you’re doing well. Even though it may seem like so, I wasn’t planning on leaving, and I’m sure I’ll be home soon. Life just throws unexpected things at us, huh? Please keep yourself safe while I’m gone, don’t get into any trouble, I’d like to not come home to an empty house. Make sure to say hi to Jason for me! Even though he hasn’t known me long, I’d like for you to let him know.

I love you!

-Whizzer.

Chapter Text

Whizzer has been gone for four days.

Four. Days.

That’s all Marvin could think about as he paced the room, waiting for Trina to drop Jason off and put a pause in Marvin’s attempts of searching for Whizzer. He had left a note the day he disappeared about going for a walk, and he hadn’t heard from him since.

It was then that there was a knock on the door, and Marvin walked over. Trina stood with Jason on the other side, and Marvin offered a tired smile.

“Hey, kid. Why don’t you choose a movie to watch while we eat? I’ll be just a second.” He sighed, ruffling his son's hair. Trina gave him a disapproving look, lips in a tight line.

“Don't make that a habit.” She reminded him, searching his eyes.

Marvin nodded, glancing down. “I know. I’ve just had a long week, thought we’d have a pizza night so that I could wind down.”

Trina handed over an envelope. “Some guy in the lobby asked me to give this to you. Maybe it’ll help a bit.”

With another tired smile, Marvin nodded again, before saying his goodbyes to her and heading back into the living room.

He ordered the pizza, and then read the letter as Jason watched a Star Wars movie.

Somehow, he could tell something was wrong. Whizzer was very particular about how he texted, and Whizzer should’ve had his phone with him. So why send a letter?

He stared at the paper, biting his lip. Whizzer wouldn’t use “even” as the first word of a sentence twice in one paragraph. He hated repetition, especially in that sense. So why?

He read the first word of every sentence.

Hope Even Life Please Make Even

I

That didn’t make sense.

First letter?

HELPME

I

He was fairly certain the “I” wasn’t a part of it.

Help me.

Marvin took a deep breath, checking the other note in the envelope.

To reply, please put your note in the spot behind the keyhole to your floors button. Leave the compartment unlocked.

Okay.

He could do that.

After the movie finished, he tucked Jason in and headed into his office, picking up a piece of paper and a pen.

Whizzer,

Will you be okay? How are you getting food? Everything feels pretty dull without you here. Really. Even Jason was confused when you weren’t here.

Actually, Trina told me he’s been wanting to get a dog. Really, when I think about it, I’m not totally against the idea. Eventually I think you’ll agree, even though you’re not too much of a fan of dogs.

You make our bed warmer, I don’t think I’ve noticed until now. Over the past few days it’s been getting more obvious. Usually I’d cuddle with you when I’m cold, but I guess that’s not really an option, huh?

I love you. Please come home.

-Marvin.

He went to bed after that. Hopefully, Whizzer would respond soon, though he wasn’t sure how much hope he could put into Whizzer being completely safe.

Eventually, the next letter came.

Marvin,

If I was able to easily come back, I would, wouldn’t I?

Now, I am trying, really, and I think I should be able to come home soon, but it’s pretty strange, so if you want to come look for me, just don’t.

Truthfully, if I were asked how to get here, I wouldn’t know.

P.S. How’s Jason? If he wants to say something, let me know.

I love you dearly,

-Whizzer

When Marvin received that letter, he immediately started writing back.

Whizzer,

Jason’s been feeling ill. He won’t go see anyone. Like, what?

You’ve said you’re bad with kids, but you’re great with him. I just don’t know what to do.

Everything’s harder here without you.

I would make a bad flirtatious joke here, but I wouldn’t be able to. How do you do them? I wouldn’t know.

Your(not so)smooth lover,

-Marvin

He didn’t hear from Whizzer for two weeks after sending that letter. After another visit from a worried Jason, someone handed him the letter as he walked into the building, rather than their usual exchange spot.

As soon as he was inside, he opened it. Whizzers writing was frantic and messy, not at all how he would usually write.

I can't write to you anymore. He knows, and I got in trouble. One of the nicer people here agreed to get this to you.

I need you to ask Charlotte about a ‘Doctor Johnson.’ I think he works at the hospital, and he’s the leader of what’s happening to me here, I think.

They’re starving me. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t think you should come help me. It’s not safe for you.

Don’t write back. Don’t believe any letters you get from me again.

I love you, I miss you. Please don’t forget me.

-Whizzer Brown.

Marvin couldn’t breathe. The period of which Whizzer had ended his name had felt so… final. Unfixable.

God.

He went to his office, taking out the rest of the notes Whizzer had sent him and spreading them out on his desk, making sure he kept them in order. Then, he wrote down the questions he had asked in between the letters, fitting them to their responses.

Shit shit shit.

He needed another thing.

Marvin ran to the elevator, and drove his car straight to the closest Home Depot. He bought a large corkboard, thumbtacks, and something to stick it to his wall with. Anyone who walked into his office would think he was a stalker. Whatever. It didn’t matter to him.

Once he was back home, he cut out the letters, took out string from Jason’s old crafting supplies, and began his work.

HELP ME

String connected it to,

WHERE ARE YOU

Responded with

I DON'T KNOW

Connected to,

WHAT DO YOU KNOW

Connected to Whizzer’s final letter. He wrote down the name with big letters, pinning it to the middle of the board and making his way over to the neighbors, knocking on their door.

Chapter Text

“I said I’m sorry, I-”

“That’s bullshit, Whizzer, and we both know it.”

He didn’t want to breathe. He didn’t want to open his eyes. All he could think about was the anger of the man trapping him against the wall, and what it could mean. What would happen to him?

What would happen to Marvin?

“I told you to keep your mouth shut.”

“I did keep my mouth shut. I was using my hands.” Whizzer huffed, opening his eyes and forcing eye contact.

“Don't get smart with me. You knew I wouldn’t let this slide, and you did it anyway. Now tell me, what were you trying to get out of this little play? Did you want your little boyfriend to come help you out of here?”

“No, sir.” Whizzer murmured, choosing to close his eyes and try to ignore the hot breath surrounding his face. Small beads of spit landed in Miscellaneous spots.

“I know you’re lying. But you’ll learn your lesson. You belong here, Whizzer. It’s the only place people will see you for what you truly are. A monster. You’re a monster that does nothing but cause people harm.”

“I am.” He agreed quietly, closing his eyes tighter.

“And if you need more motivation, let’s give you more motivation. You’ll stay here, and if you leave, you’ll get replaced by that boy of yours. How does that sound, Whizzer? A nice little trade.”

Whizzer sobbed, biting his lip to make the noise stop. “Don’t. Please.”

A knee made contact with his gut. Acid and blood spilt out of his mouth, and he doubled over against the wall. A hand grabbed his hair and pulled him back upright, before slapping him across the cheek and dropping him, backing away. “How about we add on to the amount we’ll take from you each day? Speed the process up a little?”

“Fuck you.” Whizzer groaned, hearing the door close. He didn’t have the energy to look up. In fact, he’s had much less energy since they’d started their latest “experiment.” They haven’t fed him in days, and on top of that, they’re taking blood from him daily.

He forced himself to climb into bed, laying on his side, eyes lidded and mouth hanging open the slightest amount. He felt constantly nauseated and dizzy. Pale, though that may just be his breaking vision. Weak. Cold, oh, so cold.

Whizzer’s vision faded, and he took in a shaky breath. He couldn’t pass out, but he was brought to some limbo type space, leaving him in complete darkness and alone with his thoughts.

Everything was bright. Where was he? The white walls and sickening smell felt familiar, but he couldn’t figure out where it was from. His ears rang. Static flooded his vision, and as he held his hand up, he found it split into three, different colors filling each one. Shivers ran down his spine, making him curl up tighter under his blanket. His head hurt. His chin felt wet. He wiped it, and found blood.

Blood?

Was he bleeding?

Where was Marvin?

Where was he?

Oh.

Oh, wait.

The lab.

What the fuck was happening to him?

He shivered again, groaning as he covered himself further, coughing.

“Fuck.” He muttered, voice small. He needed Marvin with him. Marvin would feed him. Help him. Do something!

How long did he have until he died?

A day?

A week?

Definitely not long.

Fuck.

The next morning, he felt almost blissful.

Almost.

He was still alert to the aching and coughs, along with the throb-like chill that spread through him.

Three people walked in. He thinks he had heard them talking in the hallway minutes before. One of them was a child, no older than five.

He tried to sit up, but was met with the mattress again halfway through his attempt. Groaning, he buried his face in it.

A hand pulled him up, and he leaned against the wall, trying his best to keep eye contact. “What do you want?” He asked. He sounded like he was yawning.

Slowly, too slowly, Dr. Johnson answered. “We need you to turn her into what you are. Incase this… test doesn’t go according to plan.”

Whizzer glanced down at the child. It felt like he was spinning as he looked back up. “That’s a child.” He said plainly.

“It is.”

“So no. I won’t do it.”

“Yes, you will.”

Shaking his throbbing head in protest, Whizzer squeezed his eyes tight. “No.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“You’re already doing that anyway.”

Silence.

A punch in the nose.

“You’ll do it, or I’ll fuck up that little boyfriend of yours.”

“That’s not fair. You said-”

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want, Whizzer. Now do it.”

Whizzer stared at him for a moment, biting his lip. “Let me call him.”

“What?”

“Let me call Marvin.” Whizzer repeated, clenching his teeth.

“And then you’ll do it?”

“And then I’ll think about it.” He muttered, huffing out a breath. “And I want to be alone. You can listen all you want, but I don’t want to know you’re listening.”

A phone was thrown towards him. Whizzer caught it, barely, and watched as they left the room. He practically melted back down when they did. That took up all of that day's energy.

He found Marvins contact, weakly pressing the call button and holding it up to his ear.

After a few rings, it was picked up. Frantic breathing came from the other end. “Marvin…” Whizzer breathed, smiling the best he could. “Hi.”

“Whizzer?” Marvin called, disbelieving. “Is that you, sweetheart? You sound so…”

“Dead?”

“Tired.”

Humming, Whizzer tried his best to shift a bit. “That’s a shame. Was sort of hoping to sound the part.”

“You’re not dead.” Marvin told him. “You’re calling me, so you can’t be dead.”

Another hum. “Not yet. Soon, though. They’re trying something. They think I’ll die. They want me to bite someone.”

“Who?”

“A five year old girl.”

There was silence for a moment. “Are you going to?”

“Yes. No. Fuck, Marvin, I don’t know, I think…” he trailed off, coughing.

“You think what, darling?”

“I think it’s either her or you. They keep threatening you to keep me in line.” Whizzer muttered, forcing in a deep breath. “I don’t think I got this far when I tried to starve myself. This… this hurts bad.”

“You can choose me. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not putting you through this. You don’t understand how horrible-”

“I know. I know I don’t understand. But if you have to choose…”

Whizzer sighed. “I think I have to make a decision before I die or they’ll kill you.”

A hum. “I think I could deal with that.”

“Marv-”

“Keep holding on for me, baby. I know you’ll make the right decision, whichever you choose. I wouldn’t put either against you. And I love you, so much. You’re smart, and sweet, and so perfect. And you’re pretty. You always have been. You always have been all of those things, darling. Thank you for letting me be with you, Whizzer.”

“Don't do that.” Whizzer sobbed, shuddering and pulling his blanket up higher.

“Don't do what?” Marvin asked softly.

“Act like this is the last time we’ll talk. I know it probably is, I just- don’t say goodbye like that.” He whispered. He could feel himself losing his breath.

“Focus on breathing for me, sweetie. I love you. You don’t have to say it back, just keep breathing. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Please don’t hang up yet. Talk to me, please.” Whizzer rasped, breathing heavily.

“Okay. Okay, I’ll stay on the phone for a bit longer. Breathe for me.”

Marvin led him through breathing exercises, then told him stories from while he was away. He told him the work drama, the family drama, the neighbors and how they’re just as insane acting as the two of them.

He gave him a virtual kiss, which shouldn’t have meant as much as it did.

Marvin had to hang up.

Whizzer went limp.

Chapter Text

A hand caressed his face. Whizzer didn’t bother to open his eyes. He had a pretty big guess on who it was. A tear slipped down his cheek, and the hand wiped it away.

“Stop.” He breathed, a painful sob slipping through his lungs. “If you’re gonna kill me, you can leave me alone until you do. Just stop.”

“Oh, baby…”

Wait. He recognized that voice. The voice he hadn’t heard so clearly in a long time. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open, squinting. “Marvin..?”

There was a soft, kind laugh. “Hey, Whiz.”

Whizzer reached up, placing a shaking hand over Marvin’s. “What are you doing here?”

Marvin’s lips went into a sad line, leaning his forehead down to Whizzer’s. “I want you to choose me, okay? Nobody has to die. Bite me, but don’t kill me. I can fake it.”

“They could hear.”

“Not anybody who matters. It’ll be okay. They can’t hear me over there, I can tell. Can you do this for me?”

“I can try.” Whizzer murmured, trying to sit up. Marvin helped him, gently lifting him and guiding his mouth to his neck.

“Drink a bit. Get a little strength for me.” Marvin whispered, rubbing his back with one hand and holding his head with the other. “Let go whenever you think it’ll be believable. You’ve got this. I trust you.”

After a moment, Whizzer stopped biting him, placing a soft kiss to the spot and trailing up his neck and cheek to his lips, letting them linger for a moment before letting Marvin slip out of his grasp and collapse.

“How long should this stage take?” Dr. Johnson asked, arms crossed.

“I’m not sure.” Whizzer told him, trying to slowly bring himself into a lying position. “I think it'll be a while. It took about an hour for me to wake up.” He sighed, reaching for Marvin’s limp body and using the rest of the strength he gained to pull him up onto the bed.

“Okay.” He muttered, walking over. “I think while we wait we can take back that blood you took out, hm? Wouldn’t want you to get used to it.”

Whizzer brought Marvin into his arms, stroking his face a bit. “Yeah. Just… give me a minute, okay?”

A nod, and then the room was emptied, leaving him and Marvin alone.

“Thank you.” Whizzer murmured, tucking his face into Marvin’s neck. “That was genius.”

He laughed softly, stroking Marvin’s hair before furrowing his eyebrows. “Hey. Give me a sign you’re still with me.”

Marvin squeezed his knee, getting Whizzer to smile and put his head back. “I love you.”

Another squeeze.

“I was really worried I’d mess up. Go too far or something. I’m glad you’re okay.” Whizzer admitted with a sigh. “You can’t stay here, though. I learned how to deal with it. I learned how to deal with all of this a while ago. You don’t know how to do this, and since you don’t know how I work inside, it’ll be more difficult for you to fake it. You’ve got to go, baby. Please.”

Marvin nodded slowly.

They lay in silence for a moment, until the door opened and Whizzer was taken by the arm. “I think that was enough time, yeah?” Dr. Johnson scowled, bringing Whizzer into the chair and fitting the restraints on most of his limbs.

“Arm.” He ordered. Whizzer held it out, albeit hesitantly. “How much did you take?”

“I’m not sure.”

A hum. “Let’s take two liters then, hm? You’re lucky you can survive with less blood than people can. Wouldn’t want to kill you just yet, would we?”

Whizzer shook his head.

“Right.” The restraints were taken off, and Whizzer was given a soft push towards his bed. Just that was too much. He toppled over, landing on his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath.

“Jackass.” Whizzer huffed, gripping the chair to pull himself back up. Dr. Johnson chuckled, before taking his crew and leaving.

“Press the call button once he’s up.”

The door shut.

Marvin was up in a flash, and he held Whizzer’s arms as he led him back to bed.

“Okay, kid. We don’t have long, so we’ll have to work quickly, okay?”

Whizzer nodded, though he wasn’t sure what Marvin was talking about. He trusted him. And, honestly, he would be too weak to resist even if he didn’t.

Pulling out a rope, Marvin sat in front of Whizzer and tugged his chest to his back, wrapping the rope around their torsos and tying it snugly. He took a minute to look around, before finding what he was looking for and standing. “You think you can wrap your arms and legs around me for a moment, doll?”

He tried his best to do so, and spent most of his remaining strength to stay in the position.

Marvin undid the screws on the air duct with a needle, opening it and redoing the screws after lifting them inside. “How’re you doing, baby?” He asked as quietly as he could. There was no echo. That was good.

“As good as I can be doing, I guess.” Whizzer breathed, he didn’t even need to try. It feels as though he’s already dead. Maybe he is. Maybe Marvin being with him is some sort of hallucination he had whenever he passed, stuck in that stupid bed with too thin sheets and an unreasonably hard mattress.

Whizzer relaxed a bit as Marvin ran a hand through his hair. “That’s okay. The hard part is over. I’ll lean forward, and all you have to do is lay on my back. You’re doing great, sweetie.” Marvin whispered, kissing his cheek. He placed a hand to his ear after leaning forward. “I’m in. Left or right, Delia?”

He couldn’t hear what Marvin was being told, but he didn’t mind. All he could do was lean on Marvin, hoping he knew how to get them out.

The echoes of Marvin’s elbows and knees hitting the metal were soft, and it seems they were avoiding as many rooms with people in them as possible. They passed by another room like Whizzers. The person inside was fighting. He wondered how long they’d been there. How long it would take until they broke, just like he did.

Eventually, Whizzer saw light. Natural light. It was gorgeous. He didn’t look at nature enough before. Marvin untied the rope and the duct opened. He climbed out, gesturing for Whizzer to stay where he was. Then, he came back, gently pulling him by the armpits until Whizzer was snug in his arms, legs around his waist and his head in the crook of his neck, like how one would carry a child.

Marvin climbed into the backseat, cradling Whizzer, kissing his hair softly. Charlotte sat in the driver's seat, with a small packet of blood in her hand.

“I know you don’t have much, but it’s like a medication for you. If you stop for a long time and then go back in with your normal dose, it could be worse than if you didn’t take it again at all. So drink this, and we can get you more tomorrow. It’ll be okay.” She looked at Marvin, nodding. “Cordelia’s on her way.” She whispered, handing him the packet. He opened it, opening Whizzer’s lips with his finger and pouring it into his mouth, nodding a bit.

“Rest, dear.” He murmured, kissing his hair again and rubbing his back. “We’ll be home soon.”

Chapter Text

The ride home was long, but at least Whizzer could squint his eyes and watch the trees brush by. Marvin’s hand stayed on his back, and it probably wouldn’t be safe to be like this in the car if they crashed, but Charlotte was a safe driver and any position could probably get himself snapped like a twig if they got in a crash.

“The sunset is so pretty.” Whizzer murmured, eyes filling with tears. Marvin wiped one away as it fell. “I’ve missed it.”

“I know, darling.” Marvin sighed, lightly squeezing his waist. “You'll see it so much more. You’re safe now.”

Whizzer bubbled out a small cry, melting into Marvin, who kissed his neck. “I love you.” He breathed, turning to lay his head against Marvin’s chest.

“I love you too, dear. Breathe, okay? I’ve got you.” Marvin held him a bit tighter, burying his face into his hair.

They got to the apartment complex, and Marvin began to pick him up, before Whizzer’s breath hitched and he stopped him. “Wait.” He gasped, breathing heavily. “What if- what if they're in there? That’s how they got me the first time. They- they were hiding- and-” He was cut off by Marvin shushing him quietly, running his hand along his shoulder.

Charlotte walked into the building, before coming back to the car and opening their door. “Lobby’s empty. Let’s get to the elevator.”

Marvin glanced at him, seemingly asking for permission. Whizzer nodded and held onto him the best he could.

Once they got into the elevator, the rest of the group seemed to relax. Whizzer just panicked more.

But nothing happened. Marvin got him into the apartment without any problems. He lay Whizzer down in bed, stroking his hair a bit. Charlotte gave Marvin a paper before she left.

“Alright, baby. What do you need? Change of clothes?”

“Bath.” Whizzer muttered. “Then yeah, clothes would be nice.”

Marvin nodded, helping him out of the itchy scrubs he’d been forced into before leaving the room to start the water.

Whizzer lay naked on the bed, trapped under the blanket and getting lost in the warmth. He hadn’t had a warm bed in too long. The apartment still felt chilly, though. That was probably just him.

A moment later, Marvin came back, smiling softly. “Baths all ready for you. Do you want me to carry you there?”

Nodding, Whizzer weakly held his hands out. Marvin pulled him up, kissing his forehead. “Can we turn the room temperature up?” He whispered, sighing contently as Marvin eased him into the water. It was nearly overflowing with bubbles, and the lights were turned down, replaced with candles. It was easier to keep his eyes open this way.

“Of course we can. I’ll go turn it up now so that it’s good once you’re done with your bath. You’ll- you’ll be okay, right? You feel steady?”

“I won’t drown while you’re gone, Marv.” Whizzer laughed weakly, flashing him a tired smile. Marvin nodded, before leaving the room.

Hardly thirty seconds passed before Marvin was back, kneeling by the side of the bath. “Want me to wash you, doll?”

Whizzer nodded, allowing his eyes to flutter closed as Marvin stuck a soapy rag under the water and bubbles, slowly running it in circles around his body. He leaned into the touch, taking slow breaths. Eventually, the cloth was taken away, replaced by Marvin’s hand on his back, pushing gently.

“Lean forward, baby. Let me wet your hair.” He whispered, guiding Whizzer to lean his head back as he poured water through his hair. He let Whizzer lean back again as he took shampoo into his hands and lathered it into Whizzer’s hair, taking extra care in being as gentle as possible. He didn’t really need to; Whizzer felt completely relaxed and he trusted fully that Marvin wouldn’t accidentally hurt him. Marvin let the shampoo sit for a moment, before leaning Whizzer’s head back again, using his knee to keep his back upright, and poured water into his hair with one hand, squeezing bubbly soap out with the other.

He repeated the motion with conditioner, before pulling the drain and helping Whizzer out of the tub and into a towel. Once dried, he clothed him with boxers and a pair of fuzzy pajamas, one size too big, just as Whizzer liked as he slept. He didn’t want to suffocate in the clothing he wore. In fact, most nights he slept in nothing but boxers.

Sleep is the wrong word. Still, he doesn’t want to suffocate if nobody but Marvin was going to see him. Marvin wouldn’t even be looking at him for most of the night anyway.

But it was cold, and Whizzer just wanted to curl up with Marvin and be warm again.

So he let Marvin half lead, half carry him to bed, laying with him and bringing the blankets up. “I’m not sure if I want to sleep tonight.” Marvin admitted, turning to search Whizzer’s eyes.

Whizzer hummed, turning his head. “Why is that?”

“I’ve missed you.” Is all Marvin said in response, reaching out to tenderly touch his cheek.

They sat in silence for a moment as Marvin took Whizzer in, and Whizzer just let himself be in the moment.

“You told the neighbors.” Whizzer murmured, placing his hand over Marvin’s.

“I did.” Marvin agreed, darting his eyes away. “I’m not sorry.”

“Good. Thank you for telling them. And for getting me out of there. I’m not sure what would’ve happened if you didn’t.”

Sighing, Marvin locked eyes with him again. “I have a clue as to what could’ve happened. I’m just glad I got there on time.”

Whizzer hummed, inching closer and cuddling into Marvin’s. “I love you. Get some rest.”

“Are you sure?” Marvin asked, wrapping his arms around Whizzer.

“Yes.” Whizzer laughed, hooking his leg over Marvin’s.

Marvin gave in, tugging him closer and fluttering his eyes closed. “I love you too.”

Nuzzling into him, Whizzer let himself smile softly, then feeling as if suddenly his muscles wouldn’t work, and he couldn’t call out to Marvin for help, since blood was choking up his throat.

He tried to breathe, but nothing worked. He was twitching ever so slightly, but Marvin must not have been awake enough to notice.

Fuck.

Thinking was getting difficult.

He was trying, he really was.

Everything around him started to fade into darkness, before he stopped moving completely.

Chapter Text

Marvin woke up a few hours later, smiling at the body beneath him. He listened to his breathing, making sure he was still with him, even asleep.

Asleep?

He turned Whizzer over, taking his shoulders to sit him up, holding his face. “Whiz? Baby?” He called, shaking him a bit. “Very funny. You can- you can wake up now.”

It’s then he noticed the dry trail of blood flowing from the corner of his lips to the bottom of his chin, where it dropped and landed on his shirt.

But he’s breathing. He’s still okay, he’s breathing.

“Whizzer, baby, please.” He muttered, still trying to shake him awake. “Shit, shit, shit!” His own breathing was labored as he ignored his shoes on the ground by the door, rushing past them and banging on his neighbors door. “Charlotte!” He yelled, frantic. “Charlotte, it’s an emergency! Please open the door!”

Warm tears swam down his face, and he sobbed quietly as Charlotte opened the door, a bit groggy, but alert enough. “What’s going on?”

“Whizzers asleep.” He gasped, trying to even his breathing. Charlotte just looked unamused.

“So?” She huffed, crossing her arms.

“He doesn’t sleep- I mean- he can’t- Char, he hasn’t been able to sleep since he became-”

That seemed to be all she needed to hear. She rushed past him, going into their bedroom and kneeling next to Whizzer on the bed.

“I need tweezers, my blood pressure cuff, and my stethoscope. Now.”

“His heart doesn’t-”

“I’m not going to listen to his heart, I’m listening to his breathing. Now get me the damn stethoscope!”

Marvin nodded, running back into her apartment and getting help from Cordelia to find what she needed. He gave her the supplies, holding the washcloth near her.

“Clean up his face for me. And get his shirt off, it’ll make this easier.” Charlotte ordered, and Marvin obliged immediately. He dabbed lightly at the blood, watching as Charlotte listened.

“He’s struggling to breathe, I think there’s something blocking the- Marvin?” She froze, eyebrows furrowed.

Marvin hummed, finishing off the blood.

“His heart is beating.” She breathed, looking up at him for a moment.

They locked eyes, and Marvin felt like he couldn’t breathe. Charlotte seemed to realize something, and she cursed quickly. “Flashlight.” She said, snatching Marvin’s phone and turning the light on. “How did he drink the blood?”

“He swallowed it, I think.” Marvin told her, trying to watch. “Why, what’s going on?”

“Shit.” She muttered, grabbing her own phone and dialing a number. “Drive him to the hospital. He needs surgery now.”

Marvin couldn’t move for a moment. His eyes widened as he processed what she said, scooping his lover up immediately.

“Will he be okay?” He asked as they ran to his car, buckling Whizzer into the back and hopping in the driver's seat. Charlotte didn’t respond for a moment.

“We’ll see.” She whispered, and soon, the call went through. It took Marvin a moment to realize what she was talking about, but when he realized she was calling for an emergency surgery, his heart dropped. He should’ve known it was coming, but it just felt… wrong. For him to be going into surgery at all felt weird, but he didn’t even know he was going into it.

Once at the hospital, Marvin picked Whizzer up from the backseat, holding him in his arms. He was reluctant to let go as Whizzer was put into the stretcher and wheeled away.

Charlotte handed him some papers, a clipboard, and a pencil, asking him to sign them.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to sign these for him.” Marvin admitted, looking up to search her eyes. “We're not married.”

“You’re the closest to family he’s got. Please sign the forms, Marvin. He could die if we don’t operate.” Charlotte sighed, sitting down next to him.

Hesitantly, Marvin nodded, signing the consent forms and staring at the last one. “You’re gonna drug him?” He asked, nervous. “But- he’s already asleep. Why do you need to knock him out more?”

“If he wakes up during the surgery, it’s going to be bad, Marvin. This is a risky surgery. If he moves, he could make the knife cut another hole.” Charlotte pointedly looked at the form, and Marvin signed it after a moment.

“He’ll be okay?” He asked as he handed them to her.

“We have some of the best surgeons we’ve got on this.” Was all Charlotte told him before walking away.

Marvin froze, before standing up to follow her. “Wait- does that mean he won’t be okay? What’s happening to him? Charlotte, answer me! Why won’t he-”

Charlotte took a sharp turn, squeezing his shoulders. “There’s always risks, Marvin. We’ve got the best people doing the best they can. But if he doesn’t get this, then he will not be okay. You hear me? So what I’m saying is that I don’t know. But this is the best chance he’s got. Go sit down in the waiting room. You can see him once he’s done.”

He stood there for a moment, frozen, looking into her eyes, before nodding and turning away. He felt his eyes fill with tears. What did he do wrong? He finally got Whizzer back, and now he could die.

Fuck.

He sat in the waiting room, face buried in his hands as he choked back sobs.

It was Sunday.

He should let Trina know he can’t take Jason next week.

Pulling out his phone, he dialed Trina’s number, putting the phone up to his ear.

“Marvin?”

“Trina.” He murmured. He knew how small he sounded. It’s how he felt, anyway.

“What’s up? Do you need anything?”

“I might need you to keep Jason next week. Something came up and I’m not sure how long it will last.” He whispered, taking a deep breath to try and stop the tears that gathered in his eyes.

“Okay. Okay, that’s alright. What’s going on, Marvin?”

“Whizzer’s in surgery.” He told her, wiping away a stray tear. “Charlotte doesn’t know if he’ll make it, I just- if he- I don’t know how well I’d be able to take care of Jason if he doesn’t… or just if I need to help him out at all, I’m not sure how he’s going to eat, the surgery’s in his throat.”

Trina’s breath hitched, and she hummed. “I can keep Jason. Let me know if you change your mind though, alright? I’m sure he misses you both. Keep me updated.”

“I will. Thanks, Trina.”

“‘Course. Take care of yourself.”

“I’ll try.”

The phone hung up.

He slumped in his seat, head back in his hands.

That’s where he slept for the rest of the night.

Except he didn’t sleep that night. He stayed in his chair, tapping his foot, trying—and failing— to play the game he had downloaded onto his phone to waste time a year back, when everything was fine. He just couldn’t think.

Whizzer would be okay.

Right?

Chapter Text

As his eyes blinked open, Whizzer looked around the room he was in. Every wall, along with the floor and ceiling, was a blinding light.

The air smelled sickeningly familiar.

His eyes hadn’t adjusted to the light yet, but he knew where he was.

They found him.

He was trapped again.

There was probably more security this time, they won’t let him out, ever.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Whizzer hissed at the pain in his throat when he whimpered out of fear. He reached up to his neck, fingers grazing the puckered and stitched skin there.

Oh god, what did they do to him?

His breathing sped up, and he gripped the oh so familiar sheets, and he couldn’t breathe anymore, he was too scared-

“Whizzer, baby… calm down. I’ve got you.”

“Marvin.” He forced out, flinching at the biting pain he was met with.

“Sh, don’t speak, we don’t want to open up your stitches.” Marvin whispered, running his hand along his cheek. Whizzer leaned into it. “You fell asleep. I thought you were dead. Charlotte said you needed surgery, so we drove you to the hospital, and… she wasn’t sure you would make it. Nobody was sure. You really scared me for a bit there, kid.”

Whizzers eyes widened at the mention of a hospital, looking around. Marvin had promised. No hospitals, it was a rule.

“It’s okay.” Marvin murmured, gently picking up Whizzer’s wrist and holding his hand to his chest. “You feel that, Whiz? That's yours. It happened in your sleep.”

Whizzer exhaled, wincing again. He silently asked Marvin for his phone, going straight to the notes app and typing.

Why did I need surgery?

Marvin studied him for a moment. “There was a slit in your throat, connected to your vein. You were choking on your own blood. They had to drain your lungs and windpipe. How’re you feeling?”

High.

Laughing, Marvin nodded. “They had to drug you so that you wouldn’t wake up mid-surgery. If you moved it could have caused an incision that could’ve killed you. Charlotte had me sign your forms. It was strange, it didn’t feel right.” He explained, stroking Whizzer’s hair. “You’re okay, though. You’ll be able to speak once the incisions heal.”

Whizzer nodded, leaning into Marvin and feeling his arms.

It was then that it hit him fully.

His heart was beating.

He didn’t need to drink other people’s blood anymore.

Didn’t need to puke when he was forced to eat something.

He was free.

Slowly, he brought his hand up to rest over it again, closing his eyes and feeling it.

It was then that Charlotte came in to check on him, smiling softly as she watched Whizzer slowly open his eyes. She took his hand down, silent, and put the ear pieces from the stethoscope into his ears, placing the chest piece onto his heart, letting him hold it as she backed away.

Even if he was allowed to speak, at that moment, he wouldn’t. He was thankful that the two of them stayed silent as well, allowing him to take in the moment. He fluttered his eyes closed once again, allowing the tears that had gathered inside them to fall.

Marvin was close to him, so he gently tugged his head a bit closer, putting the stethoscope in his ears instead, but keeping it on his own heart.

It felt silly, if he was being honest. He was doing relatively fine without his heart beating. But this was the happiest he’s been in much too long. He kept letting the tears fall, leaning his forehead onto Marvin’s and smiling at him, bringing his free hand up to cup his face as he let out a silent, breathless laugh.

Eventually, he handed the device back to Charlotte, nodding in thanks. She nodded back, leaving the room, saying she’ll send a nurse in soon.

For the time they had remaining, Whizzer brought Marvin into a tight hug, sobbing into his shoulder with a grin. Marvin’s arms were snug around his waist, holding him just as tightly back and gently kissing his neck, hair, shoulders, and anywhere else he could crane his neck to reach in the position they were in.

“I love you.” Marvin whispered to him, running his hands through Whizzers hair.

Whizzer could only squeeze him tighter in response.

A few minutes later, a nurse walked in, causing them to untangle their limbs and listen closely.

“The good news is, you’ll only need the stitches in for about two weeks, and you can leave tonight.” The nurse told them, smiling. “Try not to talk or hum or anything while they’re in. Whispering should be okay in an emergency, but otherwise try to keep your mouth shut. Water and soft foods only for about a month, since something sharp could accidentally reopen the wounds. You’ll also want to keep from any yelling or straining in your vocal cords for that reason. Don’t worry, I wrote it all down for you. Does all of that sound good?”

Whizzer nodded, smiling softly and mouthing a thank you to the nurse.

Once she was gone, Marvin smiled reassuringly at him, kissing the crook of his neck. Whizzer gestured for Marvin’s phone.

Does that mean no sex for a month?

Marvin burst out laughing, hitting Whizzer playfully on the shoulder. “That’s your only question?”

He thought about it for a moment, before nodding and staring at him pointedly for a response.

“Yes. Yes, it does, because you can’t keep your mouth shut when I fuck you.”

Whizzer mimed a gasp, putting a hand on his chest and looking away.

“Mhm. You know I’m right. Now let’s get you out of here, sweetheart.”

Whizzer nodded, quickly and gratefully, kissing Marvin as a way of thanks. He really did hate hospitals.

And so, Marvin drove him home, playing music quietly. “Trina’s okay with keeping Jason for the week if you’re not up for that.” Marvin told him, rubbing his knee. Whizzer shook his head quickly, grabbing Marvin’s phone, since his own was left at the house.

I’ll be fine, you two should spend some quality time together.

Marvin nodded. “Okay. Are you up for getting him now since we’re already nearby?

Whizzer nodded back, smiling. He squeezed Marvin’s hand three times, and Marvin did the same to his. When Marvin asked for his phone, Whizzer handed it over.

Slowly, Whizzer put his free hand on his heart, still trying to get used to the fact that it was finally beating.

Chapter Text

“Whiz?” Marvin called softly as they parked in the driveway. “Once Jason’s back with Trina next week… I’ve got somewhere I want to show you.”

Nodding, Whizzer smiled, squeezing his hand.

“Okay. You want to come with me to the door? It might be a minute, especially since Jason’s probably not going to be ready yet.”

He followed him out of the car, lingering awkwardly behind him and leaning his head on his shoulder.

“Careful now,” Marvin murmured, reaching up to touch his face. “Don’t put pressure on the stitches.”

Whizzer made a face, but put extra care into doing as asked.

The door opened, and Trina smiled at them, opening the door a bit wider. “Jason will be just a moment. Why don’t you come in?”

They ended up on the couch, Whizzer twisted to nuzzle into Marvin’s shoulder.

“Is he okay?” He heard Trina ask. Truth be told, he wasn’t paying much attention. His hand was still on his heart, eyes fluttered closed. He didn’t care the only one in the house that knew why was Marvin. He was still awestruck.

He felt Marvin look down at him, running a hand through his hair before lacing it with the one on Whizzer’s heart. “I think he will be. I think he’s… okay, right now, but a lot has been going on. I think emergency surgery was just the cherry on top of it all.”

Whizzer decided to stop listening. He trusted Marvin not to say much else, but if he did, he didn’t want to relive it.

There were footsteps on the stairs, and Whizzer heard someone yell his name in the most excited way. He looked up, and Jason ran into his arms, eager for a hug.

“Where have you been?” Jason asked, exasperated.

Whizzer opened his mouth to respond, but stopped himself, looking to Marvin.

“He can’t speak for a bit, kid. Just got surgery on his throat.” Marvin told him, ruffling his son's hair.

Jason tilted his head a bit, examining Whizzer, before nodding. “Okay.”

“We better get going. I think he needs some rest.” Marvin told Trina, nodding his head towards Whizzer, whose arms were still held around his shoulders, head resting on his back.

Trina nodded, squeezing Marvin’s shoulder and walking them to the door.

They slipped back into their respectable seats in the car, with Jason in the back. He was less talkative than usual.

“Why did Whizzer need surgery?” Jason asked after a while.

“He had a little medical issue when he got back from his work trip. He’s okay.” Marvin lied, smiling, though his lips were tight.

Once back, Marvin slipped an arm around Whizzer’s torso, keeping him upright in the case of him possibly losing his balance. He got Whizzer to bed, laying him down and handing him his own phone. “Text me if you need anything, alright kiddo?” He whispered, kissing Whizzer’s forehead, trailing down to his nose, and then to softly kiss his lips. “I love you.”

Whizzer squeezed his hand. He watched as Marvin left the room, presumably to make dinner for himself and Jason.

A moment later, Marvin popped his head back in. “You want some pudding?” He asked, grinning. Whizzer remembered when he had once told Marvin that was the food he missed most. He nodded eagerly.

When Marvin came in and handed him a large bowl of it, Whizzer grinned back, leaning into him as Marvin held his hair and kissed it. “I’m going to go eat and play a game of chess with Jason before bed. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Whizzer nodded, blowing a kiss in his direction. Marvin caught it swiftly, before leaving the room.

He ate quickly, wanting to savor the moment, but honestly, he was starving.

And god, the pudding tasted amazing.

He finished eating, and lay himself down, holding a pillow to himself and drifting off to sleep.

He stared straight ahead, watching the wall in front of him.

“I told you what would happen if you even tried to escape, Whizzer.”

Whizzer kept staring at the wall, taking a deep breath. “What are you going to do to me? Kill me?” He asked, huffing out a laugh. It was almost funny. Almost.

“I’m not going to do anything to you, darling. That wouldn’t be enough to truly hurt you, would it? Why don’t you look towards me? Towards us?”

Slowly, he did as told, freezing as he saw the scene before him. Marvin hung limp from Dr. Johnson’s hand, battered and bruised from a bloody cut seeping from his hair to a nearly amputated ankle.

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“You- you killed him.” Whizzer breathed, beginning to stand. A robotic arm pulled him back, holding his jaw to keep facing the body before him.

“Oh, no. He’s not dead. Not yet, anyway. I thought it would be more effective if you got to watch his ending moments.”

Whizzer couldn’t breathe. He tried to fight the metal holding him in place, but it just wouldn’t work.

“Don’t- I’ll be better! Please, just-”

“I don’t think you make the rules around here. Besides, I told you what would happen. You had your chance. You broke my rules.”

A knife lifted itself to Marvin’s throat, slitting it. Whizzer watched as his barely conscious Marvin’s body twitched, and he sputtered, choking on his own blood, until he went still. Marvin’s body was dropped. Whizzer was dropped. Dr. Johnson left the room.

Whizzer ran over to his lover's body, checking for a pulse, a breath, anything! But there was nothing. Marvin was dead. Whizzer keened. He couldn’t stop screaming.

His eyes shot open with a scream, and he quickly used his hands to push himself against the headboard. Knees coming up to his chest, he buried his hands in his own hair, letting out loud wails and screams, mostly coming in the form of “no” over and over again.

Marvin appeared in front of him. His hair was a mess and he looked tired, but his full attention was on Whizzer. Whizzer reached out to touch his face, whimpering, just trying to make sure he was real. Once he decided he was, he pulled him closer, a broken yet yelled sob escaping him. “He’s gonna kill you.” He rasped, ignoring the shooting pain in his throat. “I need to- if I stay he’ll kill you, I can’t-”

He could tell Marvin was trying to talk to him, but he couldn’t tell what he was saying over his own panicked screams. A bit of light poured into the room as Marvin pulled his hands out of his hair, replacing them with his own in a comforting gesture, trying to pull him up to a standing position, letting him put most of his weight onto him. Marvin was still whispering incomprehensible words into his ear, and his voice was soothing, but Whizzer just felt more panicked.

Why wasn’t he concerned?

Could he not understand Whizzer?

Did Whizzer even speak proper English anymore after not speaking much for weeks?

Fuck!

Marvin led him outside and towards the elevator. Charlotte and Cordelia were both there, and Marvin was giving them a panicked, pleading look.

Charlotte wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tried to pull him away from Marvin. He refused, screaming another “no” to nobody in particular. He could hardly breathe, and nobody could hear him.

Nobody understood what he was trying to say.

Marvin stayed.

He was brought to their car, and Marvin sat with him in the backseat, holding his head and his back and allowing Whizzer to scream into his shirt.

They were talking, and he heard “hospital” and “stitches” and “mental” and “panic” all in there somewhere, and he couldn’t breathe, and he just needed someone to hear him.

To listen to him.

He wasn’t crazy.

He wasn’t!

Marvin practically dragged him from the car to the emergency room. Charlotte rushed off somewhere, while Marvin held him close. Whizzer clutched onto his shirt, sobbing loudly, repeating the words over and over again, just trying to get someone to hear him, to understand him. To make him feel like he wasn’t drowning in front of hundreds of people, but they all just walked on by.

Someone masked and in all white pulled him from Marvin’s arms. He tried to kick them off, but to no avail.

He screamed.

He begged.

Nobody helped him.

“Wait-” he yelled, voice scratchy. He felt something warm drip from his mouth. “Wait, Marvin, I- I need to-”

Something sharp pressed into his neck, and Whizzer began to feel dizzy.

“Marv- you need to- you need to hide from… from…” he trailed off on the rest of his sentence as his vision faded to black.

Chapter Text

Marvin buried his hand in his hair, backing up towards the wall. His nose stung and his bottom lip trembled. Slowly, he brought his other, trembling hand to his mouth to muffle a sob. Sinking to the ground, he buried his head in his arms.

A hand found its way to his shoulder, rubbing it gently. It disappeared, replaced with a pair of arms around him, allowing him to bury his face into the anonymous person's chest.

“It’s alright, Marvin. It's… it’s all gonna be alright.” A voice—one he recognized as Charlottes—whispered. “He’ll be alright.”

“You’re lying.” Marvin sobbed, clutching her shoulders. “You- you get that voice when you’re lying.”

Charlotte sighed, squeezing his shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”

“No- no, I have to be here when he’s awake. He’ll freak out, you should’ve seen him last time. He woke up while I was throwing away my coffee cup and he- he looked like he was going to have a panic attack.” Marvin told her, pulling away. “I can’t leave him.”

“You’re sons at home.” She rebutted, grabbing Marvin’s knee.

“Can you or Delia make sure he’s okay?” Marvin asked, a pleading hint to his tone.

Nodding, Charlotte clenched her jaw. “Cordelia already is. But you can not leave him with us all week! He’s probably really worried.”

“I know.” Marvin whispered. “I just… I’m worried he won’t be okay this time.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Charlotte sighed, before nudging him. “I’m not on call right now. I’ll go into the observation room, and when they’re done, or if anything somehow goes wrong, I’ll call you right when it happens. Go reassure your son, Marvin.”

He nodded, standing and shakily walking out of the building. Apparently, they had used Charlotte's car to get there. Grumbling, he walked to the nearest subway, holding a pole like someone in a bad drama movie as he stared off into the distance.

After the short walk to his apartment following the subway ride, he greeted Cordelia at the door, thanking her quickly.

He knocked on Jason’s door, cracking it after getting no response, in case he was asleep.

Jason was curled up on his bed, eyes open.

“Hey there, kid.” He murmured, walking over and sitting on his bed. “You want to talk about what happened earlier?”

“Is he okay?” Jason asked, looking up at Marvin.

“He had to go get his stitches redone. It’s- it’s another surgery, too. Charlottes going to call me as soon as they know something.”

“Does that mean he’s not?” Jason sat up.

“It means we can hope he will be, okay? He’s going through the same surgery he did yesterday, it’s not- it’s not healthy.”

Jason nodded, eyes wide. “Is he going to-”

“I don’t know!” Marvin raised his voice a bit. He didn’t mean to—he was just stressed out, and worried. Scared. He was so, so scared. “I’m sorry.” He breathed.

“Can I go with you when you go to the hospital?” Jason asked. He took a deep breath. “Please?”

Marvin hesitated, before nodding. “Okay.”

His phone started ringing, Charlotte's name buzzing on the screen. Marvin held a hand up to Jason, holding the phone to his ear. “That was fast, Char, is he alright?”

“The surgery went fine. He wants you here.” Charlotte told him, tapping her foot. It echoed, reaching the phone speaker.

He nodded, before realizing she wouldn’t be able to see it and speaking again. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, tops. How is he already awake?” Marvin stood, waving for Jason to follow him. “Charlotte?”

“We don’t know. He should have still been out for another hour, but as soon as they cut the stitch when they were done he convulsed and opened his eyes. No, Whizzer, he’s not- listen, he’ll be here soon, okay? I’ve got him on the phone, he’s on his way.”

“Give him the phone.” Marvin demanded, tugging Jason’s jacket as the elevator doors opened and leading him to the car. He heard some shuffling, and then a few ragged breaths on the other end. “Hey, doll…” he whispered, smiling softly. “I’m about a seven minute drive away from you, I’ll be there soon, okay? I love you.”

Marvin took a few deep breaths, wiping a few tears away. “I’ll stay on the line until I’m there, that sounds alright? I’m not sure if I’ll know what to say the whole time, but… but Jason also wanted to come with me to the hospital. And, I’ll hand the phone over to him if you want me to at any time, just let Charlotte know so that she can tell me.” He was silent for a few minutes, trying to even his breathing and force the tears back. “Alright, my darling. I’m pulling into the hospital parking lot. I’ll be right up there, is it okay if I hang up so that I can talk to the staff?”

More shuffling. “He's alright with that. I’ll see you in a moment.”

Marvin hung up the phone, opening his car door and getting out as Jason did the same. He grabbed his son's hand, gently pulling him along into the building. He walked up to a counter, finding an employee and tapping on the quartz. “Hello? Uhm- visitors for Whizzer Brown? He just got out of surgery and he’s awake, I need to see him.”

Just as he finished talking–the staff member somehow unable to hear him–Charlotte appeared from around the corner. He huffed out a relieved sigh, running over to her and engulfing her in a hug. “Where is he?” He asked, keeping a hand on Jason’s shoulder. Charlotte gestured for them to follow her.

Once outside the hospital room, Marvin turned to face Jason for a moment, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek. “I’ll come get you in a minute, okay? I just- I just want to make sure he’s okay enough for another visitor. I love you, kid.” He told him softly, quickly bringing him into a hug and kissing the top of his head.

He made his way into the room, eyes softening immediately as he saw Whizzer. Half asleep, staring at the wall with the most broken look.

“Hey, doll face.” Marvin cooed, walking over to sit next to Whizzer on his hospital bed. He received no acknowledgement other than Whizzer leaning into his chest. “Oh, darling…” he whispered, moving further onto the bed and pulling Whizzer closer. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m here.”

Whizzer was rocking back and forth, taking wheezing breaths and nuzzling into Marvin. “I love you.” Whizzer breathed, taking a few deep breaths.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Don’t speak. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Marvin buried his face in Whizzers hair, forcing back a sob. “We can take you home soon. You’ll have to stay a few days. I bet we can get you something for those nightmares. We’re not sure if they’ll be recurring, but I’m not sure it’s a great idea to risk it, with your throat and all.”

Instead of giving Marvin a nod or something similar in response, Whizzer started shaking, letting out a small sob. He turned around, straddling Marvin and burying his face in the crook of his neck, soaking tears into his shirt. “Oh, baby…” Marvin whispered, cradling his body. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Breathe for me, baby. Breathe.”

Whizzer placed a hand on Marvin’s chest, feeling his breaths and copying them. “I wanna try that.” He murmured through an exhale, leaning their foreheads together. He nodded, and Marvin nodded back, before chastising him about his throat with a small, tired smile.

Chapter Text

Whizzer curled into a ball on Marvin’s chest, leaning into him. He felt Marvin run a hand through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. “Hey, sweetheart… Jason’s outside the room, is it alright if I text Charlotte to let him in?”

He nodded, fluttering his eyes closed as he nuzzled into Marvin’s chest. Marvin messed with his phone for a moment, and then the door opened, Jason apprehensively walking in. “Hi.” He murmured. Whizzer squinted, smiling softly and giving him a small wave.

Gently, Marvin tugged him a bit higher up on his thighs to allow Jason to lay on his legs. He rubbed Whizzer’s back, kissing his hair gently before Whizzer tried to fall back asleep.

There was another, smaller nightmare. It was just flashes of his time in the lab, too short to make out what was what until his eyes shot open with a gasp, clutching onto Marvin tightly. Jason was asleep next to them, with Marvin watching Whizzer intently, stilling his hand. “Hey.” He whispered, cupping his cheek.

Whizzer stared at him, before shoving his face into his chest, taking quick breaths.

“Another nightmare?” Marvin asked, frowning. Whizzer nodded. “That’s too bad… I’ll call a psychiatrist today, how does that sound?”

He nodded again, letting a few tears soak his shirt. Slowly, he reached up and messed with Marvin’s hair, breathing shallowly. He lay his head down on Marvin’s shoulder, ignoring the tears that filled his eyes.

Marvin sighed, cupping the back of his neck and turning his head to sit in Whizzers hair. He kissed it gently, before leaving his lips to sit on the spot. “The nurse came in while you were asleep.” Marvin whispered against his hair. “Said they want to keep you here for a few days. Make sure you’re stable and all that.”

Whizzer groaned, shaking his head. He hated hospitals. Besides, he was fine. It wouldn’t get like that again, right? It was his first time really sleeping in years, it was just a weird reaction.

Right?

He was fine.

“Can you hear me, baby?”

Immediately, Whizzer looked up at Marvin, nodding.

“Did you hear me the other times I called for you?”

He shook his head, a bit guiltily.

Marvin smiled softly, touching his hair. “That’s okay, doll. Just making sure you’re okay, you seem a bit stressed. Everything about this past month gives you every right to be stressed, I just- you can talk to me- or- fuck, I- I love you, okay? I don’t want you to think you’re in this alone. Ever. So… let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Whizzer nodded, watching him for a moment. ‘Thank you.’ He mouthed, smiling sadly and letting a tear fall. Marvin wiped it away.

“Gorgeous.” He whispered, kissing his forehead. “You’re so gorgeous.”

Squirming a bit, Whizzer buried his face into Marvin’s shirt, pinching his arm.

“Ow!” Marvin laughed, pulling his face back and cupping it. “I was giving you a compliment, you asshole!”

Grinning, Whizzer leaned in to kiss him, placing his hands on either side of his head, thumbs on his temples. When he pulled away, he leaned their foreheads together, continuing to smile at him. Marvin gave him a loopy smile back.

Marvin slowly brought Whizzer into a hug, holding him close. “You’re still a jackass.”

Bubbling out a silent laugh, Whizzer leaned back down onto his chest, getting comfortable. Marvin’s hand found itself back in his hair, scratching it ever so lightly as he ran his fingers from his scalp to the nape of his neck. He smiled tiredly, squeezing his other hand in approval.

“That’s nice, baby?” Marvin asked, smiling down at him. Whizzer nodded, fluttering his eyes closed. “Good. I’m gonna take care of you, okay? Anything you need.”

Whizzer melted into him a bit more, finding that taking even breaths was easy this way. He could ignore the IV and heart monitor he was strapped to. It was just Marvin. His whole world.

After a while, a nurse came in, and Marvin gently shook Whizzer to let him know. He opened his eyes, giving her a small smile as he shifted a bit to watch her more comfortably. He noticed that Jason had awoken, and was now playing on his phone in the corner of the room.

“Was just about to let you know that visiting hours are over. He is allowed to have one guest stay the night, but they must be over eighteen and direct family or a partner. Does that sound good?”

Whizzer nodded, squeezing Marvin’s arm. He probably couldn’t stay. He’d have to take care of Jason.

But Marvin held his chin for a moment, leaning into his ear. “I’ll take Jason home and then see if I can come back. I’ll have to leave pretty early to get Jason to school, but I want to be with you when that psychiatrist gets here, in case there’s any questions that you wouldn’t exactly have been conscious for.”

Nodding slowly, Whizzer smiled at him, mouthing ‘I love you’ in his direction. Marvin smiled back, before Whizzer had to move off of him, and he patted Jason on the shoulder, leading him out.

The hospital room felt awfully suffocating without Marvin with him. He also felt more on edge. Last time he checked, Dr. Johnson worked here. He felt pretty weak anytime the man was in the room. Somehow, the man made him feel like his limbs were lead. He couldn’t ever bring himself to move.

He lay with his eyes to the ceiling, exhaling deeply into the cold air of the hospital room. Y’know, for a place with a bunch of people bleeding out, ultimately making them cold already, this was an unhealthy temperature for the building.

Soon, Marvin knocked and came back into the room with a smile, followed by the psychiatrist Marvin had scheduled a meeting with hardly a minute later.

She sat down, causing Whizzer to cross his legs and sit next to Marvin, clutching his hand as they waited for her to find a spot in the room.

Chapter Text

Whizzer watched the woman apprehensively. He knew this would be part of the process, he just didn’t want to do it. But this is what he signed up for.

She glanced in between Marvin and Whizzer, before checking her notes. “Whizzer Brown?” She asked calmly, smiling. Whizzer slowly put his hand up, forcing a small smile back and nodding. “Okay,” she turned to Marvin, “you’re Marvin Cohen, then? We spoke on the phone. I’m Sabrina, Whizzer. I’ll be working with you for as long as you’d like. Before we start, I’m going to need you to step out into the hall, Marvin.”

Taking a sharp intake of breath, Whizzer reached out to him, grasping his wrist and giving him a pleading look.

“It won’t be for the whole session unless you want it to be, I just need to ask you a few questions privately. Is that all right?”

Hesitantly, Whizzer let go and nodded, turning back to face her and curling in on himself a bit more.

Sabrina smiled softly, nodding at him. “First, are there any accommodations you need to make you feel more comfortable? A texture, something to do with your hands, anything like that.”

Whizzer put a hand up, grabbing his phone and going to his notes app.

I can’t speak for a bit. Just had surgery on my throat and speaking can reopen my wounds.

She nodded, writing something down before looking back up. “That sounds good. Can you let me know what’s brought me here for you today?”

Nightmares.

“What are they about?”

Whizzer stared at the wall behind her, biting his lip and shaking his head quickly. She’d think he’s insane.

“That’s alright, Whizzer. Were all your nightmares about the same thing?”

He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut.

I’m sorry.

Sabrina gave him sympathetic eyes, shaking her head. “It’s alright. Did this thing they’re about happen to you in real life?”

He nodded again.

“Is there anything you’re willing to tell me about this event? It could really help with what I prescribe you with, so that we can find something effective.” Sabrina explained carefully, placing a hand on his bed. “Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you specifically tell me otherwise. That's not just something I’m telling you, it's the law. These sessions are a safe space.”

Whizzer hesitated for a moment, staring at his hands and nearly shaking his head in refusal, but something in him believed her, trusted her just enough to tell her some of it. He grabbed his phone.

They experimented on me in labs. Threatened Marvin whenever I refused.

He completely expected her to laugh in his face. But for some reason, she just nodded, jotted down a quick note, and held out her hand. Whizzer took it. “That sounds pretty scary, Whizzer.” She said, careful and low. It was calming. “That was a really brave thing to admit to someone, you know that? Most people would be too shaken and humiliated to admit it to someone, especially after only knowing them for less than an hour long session. Thank you for telling me, Whizzer. Knowing what's causing all this anxiety and stress is definitely going to make it easier for me to help you.”

Slowly, he brought himself to smile at her. He nodded, allowing a tear to slip out, before quickly wiping it away and grabbing his phone.

We should probably try to get back on track.

“Yeah. If you’re ready, we can always get back into things. Next question for you; how long ago did the nightmares start?” She asked, writing down his previous answer.

Two days ago.

“And how long has it been since this event happened?”

Two days.

She bit her lip, writing that down. “What usually happens when you wake up? How do you feel?”

Scared. Marvin probably knows what actually happened, I think I was disorienting pretty badly. I think I was screaming, but I felt like nobody could hear me since nobody would do anything about it.

“Okay, Whizzer, we can let Marvin in in one second, you only have one more question left. Why’d you resort to this so quickly? Why not wait to see if they go away on their own?”

It opened up the wounds. Had to get the same surgery twice. The second one was the day after the first one, too.

“Okay. I’ll go get Marvin from the hallway for you now, does that sound good?”

Whizzer smiled and nodded, scooting back to lean against the pillow on his bed. When Marvin came back in, he slid into bed next to him, trailing a hand around Whizzer’s waist and kissing his hair. “How’s it going?” He whispered, stroking down his arm.

Grinning, Whizzer gave him a thumbs up, leaning up from his spot on his chest to peck his lips before turning back to Sabrina.

“Hi, Marvin.” She smiled at him, nodding and putting her left leg over her right to hold up the clipboard. “I was just wondering what you saw happening during the aftermath of Whizzer’s nightmare. The one that got him admitted again.”

Marvin glanced down at Whizzer, stroking his hair. “I don’t- he just woke up screaming. He had already gotten surgery the day before, and the screaming was messing with the stitches, so I began trying to get him to the car, but he wouldn’t stop screaming, I was trying to calm him down, and then my friend tried to pull him away so that I could watch my son, but it just got him more panicked… I don’t think he stopped screaming until he got sedated.” Marvin told her, running his hands through Whizzer’s hair gently. “He seemed to be doing better once he was up, though.”

Sabrina nodded, taking a few more notes. “Well, I’ll put this in. We can probably get you some medication for now, just until it’ll at least be safe for him if a meltdown like this happens again. And, it is too early to tell, but I am seeing a few symptoms of PTSD related to this event. We’ll check if we’re still seeing symptoms three weeks after we take you back off of the pills, how does that sound?”

Nodding in agreement, Whizzer held his hand out, shaking hers and mouthing a quick ‘thank you.’ She nodded back, smiling and shaking Marvin’s hand as well, before stopping at the door. “I left my card on that nightstand if you need anything. Marvin will be able to pick up the pills tomorrow.”

“That’s amazing, thank you.” Marvin called after her, before turning to Whizzer and cupping his face. “How was she?”

She was nice

“That’s good, sweetheart. Hey, I brought you some more pudding. And a smoothie, since you need some nutrients in you, doll. Eat up. I love you,” Marvin murmured, holding the side of his head and kissing his hair.

Chapter Text

He dug in, actually taking the time to savor the food he missed so dearly this time, snug in his lover's arms as he did so. Too soon, however, the cup and bowl were empty, and he put them aside for Marvin to take home in the morning. He scooched down and to the side, allowing Marvin to get comfortable before snuggling into his side and laying his head on his chest. Marvin’s hand found leverage on the side of Whizzer’s turned head, scratching his scalp until he drifted off into a restless sleep.

“Strip. We’re doing a different kind of test today.”

Whizzer didn’t remember this. It felt like a sense of Deja Vu washed over him, sending chills to every inch of his being. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can’t I keep my clothes on?” Whizzer asked, slowly looking up and nursing a spot on his inner lip between his teeth. “Or at least- like- only take off the part you need me to?”

Dr. Johnson seemed to think about this for a moment. “I suppose we could do that. Pants. Off.”

Taking a deep breath, Whizzer stood and began to do as told, before freezing. “Why do I need to do this?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I thought I’ve taught you not to ask questions.”

“You have. Why am I doing this?”

A sharp punch in the nose. “Do as I say, Whizzer.”

“Please.”

He huffed, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. Whizzer could see him doing an internal countdown. He didn’t want to know why.

Hesitantly, he did as asked, backing himself into the wall. “Underwear too.”

“Why can’t I just know what you’re doing?” He asked, subconsciously guarding his chest with his arms.

“I just need to check something.”

Whizzer nodded, nervousness increased tenfold as he quickly did so and darted his eyes away. Dr. Johnson walked over, and he squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for whatever was about to happen.

Two fingers prodded roughly at the skin above his asshole, causing a pained yelp to make itself pop out of Whizzer. Dr. Johnson calmly walked away after that, taking a few notes and nodding. “I’ve got what I need to know, we’ll start your normal tests in about an hour.”

“What the fuck was that?” Whizzer exclaimed, quick to pull his pants back up. “What were you even looking for?”

“Was checking for if you had a-”

“Why would you need to know that? And you didn’t have to fucking poke me, I have a dick, is that not enough for you to realize I don’t?”

“You’d be surprised. Besides, I just wanted to make sure for purposes such as which sex we’re testing on. And, if you could, we wouldn’t want to deprive the world of a mini you, would we? Has anybody ever told you that you have nice eyes?”

“You’re disgusting.”

“No, Whizzer.” Dr. Johnson walked over, caressing his face with a hysterical smile. “You’re disgusting. You’re a disgusting monster, and I think we both know you don’t deserve human rights. Because if you’re not a human, then why should you?”

Whizzer felt sick. He watched as the ‘doctor’ left, before walking into his bathroom and hunching over the toilet, just in case. As much as he would rather not puke, he felt like he would. He wanted to forget this ever happened. Maybe he could train his brain to forget. The memory would still be there, deep down, but he could forget about it.

He needed to.

He desperately needed to.

Whizzer opened his eyes with a small sob, grasping anything he could. His face felt damp, and he noticed how Marvin seemed to have gotten startled awake when he did. He noticed how Whizzer’s bottom lip trembled, how his eyes dripped with tears. God, he hoped those pills worked. He couldn’t keep doing this. Somehow, his mind brought back his biggest fears, his worst memories from that lab, nightly. It was horrible.

Marvin cupped his face with one hand, brushing tears away. The other was occupied by holding Whizzer close to him as he bubbled out small, painful cries and allowed the tears to fall freely. Marvin already saw them. There was no point in trying to hide it now.

“You’re alright, baby. I’ve got you, you’re safe with me. I love you. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? You’re safe now. As soon as your stitches are out, we can get you back on track to feeling like you used to. Help you feel less afraid, yeah?” Marvin whispered in his ear, all while rubbing his arm and holding his face soothingly. “It’ll all be okay soon.”

Whizzer nodded, huffing out a sigh and leaning onto Marvin’s touch, finding a comfortable spot on his chest.

“Can you let me know what it was about, doll?”

He shook his head, feeling another tear fall. Marvin was quick to wipe it away. “That’s alright, sweetheart. If you want to tell me anything, you can, but don’t feel pressured to. I love you.”

Leaning further into him, Whizzer sniffed, placing a hand on Marvin’s chest and calming himself by drawing small shapes onto it. Marvin held him close for a while, kissing his hair and allowing Whizzer to continue nuzzling into his neck, before he patted him on the shoulder. “I’ve got to go help Jason get ready, dear. Is that alright?”

Whizzer nodded, slowly moving off of him and laying down beside him, fluttering his eyes closed. Marvin grinned at the sight. “Love you, babydoll.”

Smiling back, Whizzer reached out and squeezed his hand thrice, winking at him.

The next night, when Marvin handed him a pill, Whizzer slept the best he had since, well… he could sleep again. He had a dream, but not a nightmare, and that felt perfect. He woke up in Marvin’s arms, since Jason had gone back to Trina’s, peaceful and on his body’s own will, instead of just his mind’s.

Chapter Text

Eventually he was out of the hospital, and a few weeks later, without the stitches he’d been graced with last time he was admitted. He could talk, and that was such a relief, since the lack of such a thing seemed to mess with his vocabulary a bit. Marvin helped with that, though. He couldn’t be more thankful for how much help Marvin was through all of this. The neighbors, too, with how Cordelia would make him some foods he could actually eat, and with Charlotte helping out in the hospital whenever she could.

But now, he was enjoying a game of chess with Marvin, despite how he could barely play, and watching him lovingly as he did so.

“Checkmate.” Marvin said, smiling and tilting his head playfully at Whizzer.

“Of course. How long is it gonna be until I convince you to come play racquetball with me? That’s something I actually might be able to win.” Whizzer grinned back all the same, enjoying Marvin’s thumb drawing circles into his palm.

Marvin laughed, squeezing his hand. “That’s not fair! I could never win that.”

“And I can never win chess. It's only fair, Marv, come on.” Whizzer rebutted, raising his eyebrows.

“Or,” Marvin continued, “we could do something we both can win at.”

Whizzer huffed out a laugh, allowing Marvin to lead him to bed and lay him down. He stripped his clothes off, and Whizzer almost forgot this was his first time having sex in months as Marvin kissed down his chest, running his fingers along his inner thighs, before stopping abruptly. “What happened?” He asked quietly, and Whizzer blinked his eyes open, watching him.

“Hm?” He hummed, sitting up.

“This.” Marvin ran his thumb along two scars, not larger than a fingernail.

Whizzer’s eyes widened. He gripped Marvin’s shoulder, whispering a quick ‘stop’ as he stared at the ceiling. Marvin listened immediately, crawling higher up on the bed and cradling Whizzer’s face in his hands.

“Hey, doll…” he murmured, thumbing along Whizzer’s cheekbone with a featherlight touch. “What happened?”

Leaning into Marvin, Whizzer stared blankly at the wall until his eyes filled with tears and he chose to instead hide in Marvin’s shoulder. “I don’t think I want to do this right now. Maybe a bit later. If you really wanted to I could like- jerk you off or something. I’m just not…”

“No, that’s fine, baby. That’s just fine. You don’t need to do anything.” Marvin held him close, gently trailing his fingers through his hair. “I love you.”

Whizzer sobbed quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. “I love you too.” He whispered, feeling Marvin lace their hands together.

“Hey, sweetheart? How about I take you out tonight? I don't think we’ve ever been on a date when you could actually eat the food. I can treat you to a meal, and then finally take you to that place I’ve been trying to show you for the past year?”

Huffing out a small laugh at the end, Whizzer nodded. “Okay.” He whispered, agreeing. “That sounds nice.”

Marvin nodded, cupping his face and leaning their foreheads together. “Are you doing okay?” He asked softly.

Whizzer nodded slowly, taking a small breath. “I’m okay enough.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Slowly, Marvin brought him into a hug, kissing his temple before letting go. “I’m giving you an hour to get ready. Your timer starts now.”

Giggling, Whizzer nodded, getting up and making his way into the bathroom to shower.

The tile was cold against his feet. He sighed. Turning the tap on, he messed with the temperature, before slowly stepping into the running water, exhaling as the feeling of dread washed away. He scrubbed down his body, then massaged shampoo into his hair.

Afterwards, he wrapped a robe around his body while he did his hair, styling it to perfection.

Once he was ready, he slipped out into the living room, yelping as Marvin scooped him up and spun him quickly. He softly kissed his neck as he sat him down, before pulling away at Whizzer’s direction and kissing him on the lips. “Hey.” Marvin muttered, grinning against his lips.

“Hi.” Whizzer laughed, reaching up to run his hands through Marvin’s hair and pull him close. “‘M ready.”

Marvin grinned, running his hands now to gently squeeze Whizzer’s waist. “I can see that. Gorgeous. As always.”

Whizzer huffed out a small laugh, kissing Marvin again. “Let’s go?” He asked, holding his hand out for Marvin. Marvin took it, leading him out of the house and to the car. “Where are we going?”

“I forgot the name of the place. It has some nice food, though. And a big dessert menu.”

“Ooo.” Whizzer teased, glancing over at him lovingly.

“Oh, shut it, you asshole. I chose this place because they have a whole selection of pudding and I thought you’d find that heaven.” Marvin grinned, soon pulling into the parking lot and leaning over the dash to kiss him.

“Well then, maybe I will like this place after all.” Marvin rushed out of the car to open the passenger door for Whizzer, who had his hand on the handle, earning a playful glare. “I can do it myself.”

“And I can do it for you. Let me treat you tonight, doll.”

Whizzer smiled, nodding slowly and following Marvin in, kissing his cheek as he felt Marvin’s arm around his waist. The waiter led them to a table, a small two person near the back with a candle sitting between them. His hand met Marvin’s over the table, causing him to crack a smirk. “This is really nice.”

“I wanted it to be nice. You deserve it. I uh- I kinda felt bad that you’ve had to throw up after every date we’ve been on so far… I wanted to change that. For you. I love you.” Marvin told him earnestly, bringing their hands up and kissing the back of Whizzers hand.

“I love you too.” Whizzer breathed, tilting his head as his eyes filled with tears. “That’s really sweet.” He laughed wetly, biting his lip to keep from letting out a small, grateful sob.

“Shit, are you crying?” Marvin asked, beginning to stand. Whizzer stopped him.

“Yeah. But good. Good crying. ‘M happy.”

Marvin nodded, kissing his hand again. “As long as you’re happy.”

Whizzer grinned, squeezing his hand in response.

They were silent for a moment, until Marvin cleared his throat, paused, and spoke up again. “Do you think you’ll ever get married?”

He remembered that same question being asked to him by the same man, one year ago.

“Whizzer, do you think you’ll ever get married? Is that something you’d want?” Marvin asked as they lay on the couch, binging a dumb tv show.

Snorting, Whizzer shook his head. “Hell no. I don’t want the commitment. It feels like a trap.”

He knew what he really meant, deep down.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone enough to even consider that again.’

Whizzer didn’t think too long on Marvin bringing the question up again. Things change. Marvin probably doesn’t even remember asking the question. “Yeah.” Whizzer decided, smiling softly. “It depends on the person, though. I’ve always been looking for someone who fits this weird list of traits. Never thought I’d find them.”

Nodding, Marvin took this into consideration. “I think I will again. I want to.” He was silent for a moment, before deciding to lighten the mood. “If everyone in the world proposed to you right now, who would you say yes to and why?”

Kicking his legs playfully, Whizzer smirked. “You.” He teased, winking.

That was the truth.

Whizzer laughed, trying to move on before Marvin said anything. “Ryan Reynolds. He’s on my hall pass list.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah.”

Marvin laughed back, staring lovingly into his eyes.

It didn’t take long before they were both finished, and Marvin was right. That pudding was amazing.

“We- we need to go here again, babe.” Whizzer muttered while swallowing a large spoonful. “I’m in heaven.”

“Told you.” Marvin laughed, watching him finish. “Are you ready to get out of here?” He asked. The check was already paid.

Whizzer nodded, standing and leaning over to kiss Marvin softly, before pulling away and connecting their hands as they walked out.

Marvin walked him to a nearby trail through the woods, with trees lining the path and firefly’s gleaming in the distant forest. Eventually, Marvin tightened his grip on his hand and led him to a narrower, hidden path to the side, which soon opened into a clearing.

Grass patches littered the dry, dirt filled ground, where a blanket and a few rose petals had been set up in advance. Whizzer looked over at him, grinning, before walking over to the blanket and sitting down.

As Marvin joined him, Whizzer found himself being gently pulled down by the shoulders. He giggled quietly and got situated in Marvin’s arms, before a hand tilted his head to look at the sky.

It was as if the breath was taken from his lungs. Right here, on this hill with a cliff hanging off of it just a few yards away, was probably the best view in the city of the stars. It was dark, and the sky seemed to light up the dim area, earning the most beautiful view he had seen in years.

“Woah.” Whizzer breathed, squeezing his hand. “That’s… gorgeous.”

Marvin grinned, craning his neck to kiss Whizzer on the cheek. “I knew you’d like it.”

“How’d you get the blanket and flowers set up?” He asked, lacing their hands together and gently thumbing at Marvin’s knuckles.

“I had a bit of help.” Marvin admitted, watching him with a small, delicate smile.

Whizzers grin widened, and he snuggled closer, watching the stars closely.

After a moment, Marvin spoke up again. “There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. This is one of the best spots to watch it at.”

“How come I didn’t hear about that?” Whizzer asked, huffing out a laugh. “I watch the weather.”

Marvin laughed, pinching him. “You only watch the weather when I’m on. And I know you spend that entire time staring at my ass instead of paying attention.”

“Your ass isn’t even on the screen the whole time! Sometimes I’m watching your arms.” Whizzer defended, knowing full well it did nothing to help his case.

“My point stays. I’m just glad I seem to be the only person to know about this spot. It’s really nice when you just need some quiet.”

“It is awfully quiet.” Whizzer agreed, smile softening. “It’s nice.”

“It's perfect whenever you need to think. Or when you want to have some time with your boyfriend without all the background noise.” Marvin added poking him and drawing a laugh out of the both of them.

“So get the time without the background noise! Lay down and watch the meteors with me.” Whizzer murmured, patting him on the shoulder and pointing to one.

He thought back to the question from earlier.

If everyone in the world proposed to you right now, who would you say yes to and why?

He hoped Marvin would propose to him. Honestly, he’s all Whizzer wants.

On the walk back to their car, Whizzer brought up another question. “Would you want to be the one to propose to your partner, or would you rather he do it?”

“I think I would want to. Have a do over so that I don’t link myself proposing to anyone as dreadful like it was the first time.” Marvin decided, shrugging. “What would you want your engagement ring to look like?”

Whizzer thought for a moment. “Simple on the outside.” He started, tilting his head. “A small gem, if any. But something meaningful on the inside. A quote or statement or something.”

Marvin nodded. “I like that.”

“Me too.” Whizzer teased, nudging him a bit.

Surely these questions meant something. Something more than just being icebreakers.

“I love you.” Whizzer whispered, but the noise was plenty noticeable in the quiet forest.

Looking over, Marvin kissed Whizzer’s hand. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

Chapter Text

Two years had passed since then. Whizzer had eventually convinced Marvin to have them move to the suburbs, because having blind spots and public elevators everywhere he went eventually got to him, despite not having what they wanted anymore. Charlotte had transferred hospitals, so the two of them moved as well, still coupling as their resourceful neighbors that ultimately gave too many unpaid home calls every time one of them got hurt; which, being them, was fairly often. Whizzer would always make it up to them by bringing over a cake they had equally tried their best to make good the next day.

The Weisenbachfelds lived just a few blocks away, making switching houses for Jason much easier. They had family dinners once a week, along with their dinners with Charlotte and Cordelia, and one lazy day each week that they gave themselves, where they just ordered in instead of trying to cook. That gave them three days a week where they didn’t need to worry about the fact that neither of them could cook.

Today was one of their lazy days. Whizzer lay splayed out on Marvin’s chest on an early Saturday morning, the one true off day they really got, since Sunday was the day they cleaned up the house to prepare for Jason’s visits.

Marvin was running a hand through Whizzer’s hair, the only clue that his lover was even awake at all. Truth be told, Marvin had no clues that Whizzer was awake, and he wanted it to stay that way. The way Marvin acted when he was “asleep” was the most real he got. Whizzer thought they didn’t hide anything from each other, but the way Marvin let his guard down whenever Whizzer was asleep and said those sweet things to him told Whizzer they needed to build a bit more trust.

He peeked an eye open, glancing at the clock. Ten in the morning. Gross. Either he would have to show himself soon, or Marvin would shake him up and Whizzer would have to fake annoyance. And so, he stirred, getting ready to open his eyes. Just a few minutes more.

When he moved, he accidentally moved to an angle that made it so Marvin had to stop touching his hair. As Marvin chuckled silently, leaving Whizzer with the ghost of his chest moving under him, he placed his hand on Whizzer’s chest instead. Whizzer whined in protest, moving again and grabbing Marvin’s hand to move it back. Did it blow his cover? Yes. Was it worth it to see Marvin’s smile as he put his hand back? Most definitely.

“Good morning, love.” Marvin cooed quietly, resuming his earlier movements with his hand. Whizzer hummed noncommittally in response, snuggling closer. “You have to wake up at some point, sweetheart, it’ll mess up your sleep schedule.”

“To hell with my sleep schedule…” Whizzer muttered, holding Marvin tighter and pulling the blankets further over them.

Marvin laughed, the vibrations of his chest leaving a pleasant feeling bubbling in his chest. A feeling stronger than what he’s always described as love.

Watching him carefully, Whizzer sighed, nuzzling into his chest. “Can’t we just stay in bed all day?”

Humming, Marvin nodded, switching on the TV and pulling Whizzer up to sit more comfortably on his chest. “Do you want to watch something specific?”

He shook his head, fluttering his eyes closed. “You pick.” He muttered, kissing Marvin’s shoulder.

Marvin nodded, reaching a hand up to slowly massage his back. “How’d you sleep?” He asked quietly, turning on some nature documentary Whizzer couldn’t care less about.

“Good. Christ, Marv, when I tell you to pick what we watch I mean something normal.” Whizzer groaned, bringing his head up to look him in the eyes, staring for a moment, before leaning down for a kiss, massaging their lips together and feeling Marvin thread his hands through his hair and tug him closer.

Whizzer caught his breath as Marvin collapsed on top of him, resting a hand on his lover's back. “I changed my mind. I’m picking the show.”

Breathlessly, Marvin barked out a laugh, lazily kissing along his collarbone with a small smile. “We should shower.” He whispered, though he looked like he had no intention of getting up.

“Mm. Later.” Whizzer protested, shifting to switch their positions.

“Later.” Marvin agreed, moving his hand back to Whizzer’s hair.

Whizzer snuggled into him, smiling softly and closing his eyes. He could have this for a bit longer. “Ima take a nap.” Whizzer murmured, shifting his head slightly to look at Marvin.

Laughing, Marvin nodded. “Didn’t you just wake up?”

“Mhm. Fuck you. I’m tired.”

“I can see that.”

He hit Marvin with a pillow and went still, clutching onto him like a sloth. “Lemme sleep.”

Marvin nodded, leaning down to kiss his hair before sitting up again, allowing Whizzers head to rest on his stomach.

Sleep wasn’t always the greatest when he was actually asleep.

Sure, he got more rest, which was quite nice.

But asleep, he couldn’t enjoy Marvin’s presence. The sweet things he’d murmur, careful not to wake him up. The way he’d run his hands through his hair, always resulting in Whizzer melting further into him. He loved being near Marvin, how warm he felt, even if his hands were always cold. How he smelled like rain on a partly cloudy day. He couldn’t explain the smell better than that. But it was comforting. He loved it. He loved Marvin.

No. He couldn’t have those things, because he truly was exhausted.

And so, he let the feeling of Marvin and the smell of Marvin and Marvin help him fall asleep.

When he woke back up, everything was cold. Marvin wasn’t under him, or even in the bed with him at all. He groaned, turning onto his back and opening his eyes with a huff. “Marvin!” He called, grimacing. His head hurt.

Marvin’s head poked into the room just as Whizzer noted the smell of bacon wafting through the house. “Good evening, princess.” Marvin teased, walking over and kissing him softly. “It's five. You slept all day. And we’re celebrating by having breakfast for dinner.”

Smiling, Whizzer tilted his head, looking down at Marvin’s chest. “Are you wearing the apron I told you to get? The one I told you to get as a joke?”

Shrugging, Marvin tilted his head back, smirking. “Maybe I am.”

“And are you wearing anything under that apron?” Whizzer asked, rubbing his hands under it at the hip and tugging him closer.

Marvin laughed, nodding. “Believe it or not, I have some boxers on.” Whizzer shrugged, trying to pull him closer. “We’re not fucking again, Whiz, you fell asleep for seven hours last time. And I don’t want the food that I’m so graciously cooking you to burn because you couldn’t keep it in your pants, either.”

Whizzer pouted, but agreed, opting for a kiss that was just too heated to be innocent before Marvin left the room again.

Chapter Text

He pulled a sweater and a pair of boxers on, before heading into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Marvin’s waist and hooked his chin over his shoulder, smiling tiredly at him. “You could have woken me up, I was hoping we’d do something fun since you’ll be working overtime all week.”

Marvin shrugged, leaning his head into Whizzer’s. “We can still do something tonight. What’d you have in mind?”

“Nothing that we couldn’t do whenever. I wanted to do something special since I’ll barely see you.”

Sighing, Marvin turned in his grasp, tilting his head. “Have you applied for this week's shifts yet?”

Whizzer shook his head, leaning his forehead to Marvin’s.

“Then I’ll tell you what. You take the evening shifts, and after every day I’ll come see you, and then we can drive home together. How does that sound?” He asked, leaning up on his toes to quickly kiss Whizzer on the nose.

“Okay.” Whizzer murmured, leaning their foreheads together again and fluttering his eyes closed, allowing himself to slowly sway with him.

Marvin took his head away and quickly brought it back to connect their lips. They stayed like that for a moment, completely still except for the slow movements of their mouths; along with the hands that were making their way to hold the other in some way. Whizzer ended up with his hands cupping Marvin’s face; Marvin with his own on Whizzer’s waist, softly kneading his skin. “Gorgeous.” Marvin whispered against his lips. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Grinning, Whizzer went to respond, but was cut off by the sound of the oven beeping.

“Oh!” Marvin exclaimed, hesitantly pulling away and pulling a batch of muffins out. “You go sit, sweetheart. I can take care of this.”

The rest of the night was filled with soft, loving touches and quiet words full of solidarity. It ended as most nights do; with their limbs intertwined and Whizzer’s face tucked into some part of Marvin’s body; tonight it was his shoulder blade; sound asleep while Marvin watched him quietly.

In the morning, Marvin gently shook him awake, kissing his temple as he lifted Whizzer’s shoulders and pulled his robe around him. “Good morning.” He whispered, stroking Whizzer’s hair. “We’ve got to get started on our cleaning schedule or we won’t be done when the kid gets here.”

Whizzer groaned, but nodded, forcing himself up and tugging his robe further around him. He checked the list of his chores for today, sighing softly.

Dishes

Wipe counters

Dust

Laundry

Groaning again, he quickly wiped his eyes, before heading to the kitchen to get to work, kissing Marvin on the cheek as he passed.

Dishes(-)

Wipe counters(-)

Dust (-)

Laundry

Whizzer sat on the floor of their bedroom, folding articles of clothing as he sorted them.

He picked up a pair of trousers, one he identified as Marvin’s, before going to fold them, pausing at the feeling of something hard in the pocket. Slipping it out, he let it roll into his palm.

A small, silver ring lay in the center of his palm, gleaming in the dim light of their corner lamp. Whizzer continued to stare at it for a moment, before trying to put it on.

A bit too big.

If it was big on him, there’s no way it would fit Marvin.

He pocketed it quickly, trying to push it out of his mind as he finished folding the laundry. As a last minute thought, he buried it in his sock drawer, planning to grab it the next day after Marvin had set off to work.

As if on cue, Marvin poked his head through the doorway, smiling softly and tilting his head. “Hey there, sweetheart.” He cooed, walking over and trailing his arms around his waist. Marvin kissed him, before bringing his hands up to Whizzer’s face. “Can you go order us some food? I have the place Jason picked and both of our orders written down.

Whizzer hummed, turning and walking out, before stopping at the door. “You coming, baby?” He asked, forcing a smile.

“In a minute. I lost something.”

“Oh. What is it? I can help find it.” Whizzer pushed, tilting his head and beginning to walk back in.

“No!” Marvin exclaimed, eyes widening. Whizzer took a step back, furrowing his eyebrows. “No, really, it’s just a silly thing. Was planning on giving it to someone else, anyway. I’ve decided I don't like it as much as I thought I would.”

Slowly, Whizzer nodded, before leaving the room to order the food.

Marvin walked in a few minutes later, the only trace that the earlier interaction happened being the line of sweat coating his forehead.

“Did you find what you were looking for, baby?” Whizzer asked as casually as he could, glancing up from the book he was trying to read.

“Hm? Oh! Uh, yeah… what are you reading?” He changed the subject a bit too quickly for Whizzer’s liking. Still, he made himself let it go. For now, at least.

Whizzer shrugged, setting the book down on the coffee table. “I dunno. Just thought it’d be a nice thing to pass the time with. It wasn’t really that good, to be honest.” He smiled, patting the spot next to him, inviting. Marvin came over to sit next to him, allowing Whizzer to nuzzle into him until the doorbell rang.

When it did, Whizzer slowly inched off of Marvin’s chest to let him answer the door, watching him carefully.

Marvin hugged Jason, kissing the top of his head before sending him into the living room. Jason sat on the armchair parallel to the couch, but Whizzer didn’t look up to greet him. He’d hardly noticed him come in. No, his attention was on Marvin, studying him and trying to figure out why. Why that ring that wouldn’t fit either of them was in his pocket. Why he hadn’t alerted Whizzer of it. Why he wouldn’t let Whizzer help him look for, supposedly, that same ring.

Who was that ring for?

He liked to think that Marvin wouldn’t cheat on him.

But he’s done it before. On Trina. With him.

What if that same cycle is happening again.

He cheated on Trina because he was gay.

What reason did he have this time?

What if-

“Whizzer?” Jason called, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Hm?” He hummed, turning quickly to face him. “Hey, Jason.”

“Are you and dad fighting?” He asked quietly, looking down.

Whizzer furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head. “What gave you that impression?”

Does he know something?

Jason fiddled with his thumbs for a moment. “You’re staring at him like you’re trying to figure out what he’s thinking. Or why he’s done something. Did he… did he hurt you?”

“No.” Whizzer promised, almost on autopilot. “And we’re not fighting, okay? It’s fine.”

“Then why are you looking at him like that?”

Whizzer watched him for a moment, sighing. “It’s nothing, kid. Don’t worry about us. Worry about school, and girls, and shit. You’re a teenager. That’s like- what you do.”

“You didn’t worry about girls.” Jason pointed out, raising his eyebrows. Whizzer huffed out a laugh.

“Right you are, Jason. I worried about guys. But unless I’m mistaken, you worry about girls.”

Jason shrugged, but nodded, before crossing his arms. “Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, Jason. Just leave it alone.” Whizzer told him, turning around to watch Jason in a way he hoped looked stern. He was just nervous. Jason didn’t seem to buy it, but he stopped nagging. Good.

Chapter Text

It seems like the only reason why was the fact that the couch sinked down next to him, and Marvin held an arm around Whizzer’s waist, squeezing gently. “Hey.” Marvin murmured, pressing his lips to Whizzer’s temple briefly. Whizzer turned his head, meeting Marvin’s lips for a quick kiss, before turning towards Jason and throwing him the remote. “Your turn to choose the movie, Jason. Save us from your father’s documentaries.”

“You jackass!” Marvin laughed, giddy as ever. Whizzer wondered if it was really overtime he was working. It didn’t matter. Not right now. He turned back to the screen. Marvin’s arms held snug around his waist, so Whizzer snuggled into him like he was supposed to. He’d just do what he always did. Then it’d all be okay.

Maybe he was better off not knowing. He could go his whole life without knowing, and then he would be happy. Marvin could keep his secret. Whizzer could keep his dignity. It was perfect.

Except it wasn’t perfect, because nothing that seems perfect ever actually is. Whizzer would be left wondering why, how, when, where, if, what—

And Marvin would think Whizzer was oblivious, going about his daily life thinking Whizzer thought he loved him.

No.

He shouldn’t think that way.

Marvin loved him.

He had to, right?

They’ve gotten this far.

Surely Marvin would’ve left a long time ago if what they had wasn’t love.

Unless he fell out of it. That was always possible. Maybe Marvin felt bad for him and didn’t want to make himself feel bad for leaving him.

God dammit!

A tear slipped.

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Whizzer said quickly, hopping up and walking to the door. He hoped nobody saw. He wiped the tear away.

He paid for the food, turning around as he closed the door and leaning against it. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. He stayed there for god knows how long, just trying to breathe. Figure himself out.

Figure Marvin out.

Hands found their place on either side of his face, wiping away a tear he hadn’t known existed. Those hands turned into arms wrapped around his body, holding him close and allowing Whizzer to lay his head on his shoulders.

Marvin’s head leaned into his, whispering sweet nothings and kissing his neck. “It’s alright, doll.” He murmured, shushing him soothingly. “I’ve got you. It’s alright.”

Whizzer sobbed, pressing his face closer and kissing his shoulders.

He didn't think he should ask.

He did anyway.

“Marvin?” He called out, exhaling shakily.

“What is it, princess?”

“Do you love me?”

Marvin froze, as if pondering, before taking his face in his hands once more. “Yes, yes, baby. I love you. Of course I love you. I don’t want you to feel the need to question it.”

Pausing, Whizzer nodded. He bit his lip.

“What is it?” Marvin asked quietly, running his hands through his hair.

“I- whose- Jesus. Marvin, are you seeing someone?”

Raising an eyebrow, Marvin nodded. “Have I not been seeing you for the last two years? Almost three?”

“I mean someone else.” Whizzer muttered, looking away from Marvin. He didn’t want to know the answer.

Marvin stared at him, disbelieving, before shaking his head quickly. “No, god, of course not, baby. I- I wouldn’t do that to you. Ever. Hell, I don’t think I could. Why do you think I-”

“You did it to Trina.”

“That was different!”

“Was it?”

“I’m gay, Whizzer. I was scared of myself. I only want you. I swear.”

“Am I not good enough for you anymore?”

“Of course you are.”

“Then whose ring was in your pocket? I know damn well it isn’t yours, it doesn’t even fit you!” Whizzer huffed, crossing his arms.

“I-” Marvin sighed, running his hand down his face. “Can we please not do this while Jason’s here?”

Whizzer grimaced, trying to push away the tears in his eyes as he pushed past Marvin. A hand caught his wrist, but he was stronger. He yanked it away, heading straight to their bedroom and locking the door behind him. All he heard for a moment was silence. Nothing and nobody in the house moved an inch. Whizzer choked out a sob.

He fucked up. He could’ve just accepted it and let it fade into the background, let himself enjoy the most stable thing he’s ever had in his entire life. But he had to fuck it up.

God, he was an idiot.

The house was still dead silent. Whizzer walked over to their closet and pulled out a briefcase, opening the latches and filling it with a week's worth of outfits. He grabbed his toothbrush and hair supplies, along with everything in his skincare routine. Marvin would probably think he’s gone for good.

Great. Let him think that. Maybe he’ll think about what he did.

A soft knock on the door. “Whiz? Can I come in?” Marvin murmured on the other side. Whizzer didn’t respond. “Please? One minute, that’s all I’m asking for.”

It took him a moment to decide. When he did, he tucked the briefcase in the closet, out of sight, and unlocked the door. If Marvin knew he was leaving for a bit, he would try to fight back. Or, at least Whizzer would hope he would.

Marvin didn’t seem to realize the door was suddenly unlocked until Whizzer was laying on the bed, eyes glued to the ceiling. “Hey.” He whispered, eyes sad.

Whizzer didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled out his phone and set a timer for a minute, before going back to staring at the ceiling.

“My dad passed. The ring was what he gave me in the will. That's all he gave me.”

“Bullshit.” Whizzer muttered. “You said he died years before we met.”

Apparently, that made Marvin very interested in the floor. “The stuff has been waiting for me. I never picked it up.”

His eyes hardened more. The timer went off, and Whizzer raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re time’s up.”

“Whiz…”

“Go.”

Marvin went.

Whizzer grabbed his suitcase. He grabbed the ring and pocketed it. He began walking out of the house, using the back door to avoid Marvin and his newly opened beer bottle in the kitchen. Jason waited for him outside.

“You said there was nothing wrong.” He stated, quiet.

“I lied.” Whizzer murmured, careful to stay out of sight to anyone inside.

“I know.” Jason said. “You said you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“I know.”

“Are you coming back?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “If not, you have to give me a way to contact you. Dad may be acting like a dick again, but I won’t. Promise.”

“Again?” Whizzer asked, looking up. Jason’s eyes widened. He shook his head. “I’ll come back, kid. In no more than a week.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Chapter Text

Whizzer went next door.

The neighbors were more than willing to take him in, even if he was only planning on staying there that night before going to a Trina’s, just long enough to ask questions, then a hotel. He couldn’t afford much, but he was sure a week-long hotel stay wouldn’t put that much of a dent on Marvin’s bank account. Marvin always told him to use his credit card if he storms out during a fight.

He didn’t say a word. The girls didn’t make him. They led him upstairs, offering the guest bedroom, before he turned and enveloped Cordelia in a hug. “Thank you.” He breathed, a tear slipping out.

Tap

Ta-tap

Tap

That was Marvin’s knock. Whizzer grimaced. “Please don’t let him know I’m here.”

“We won’t. Stay here. I’ll tell you when he’s gone, then we can talk, yeah?” Cordelia offered as Charlotte went to get the door. “Our floorboards are creaky. Stay in the bed to be safe, yeah? Yeah.”

Whizzer nodded, crawling into the bed and laying on his side, breathing slowly. He didn’t want this. Didn’t want Marvin to hate him.

Doesn’t want Marvin to love someone else.

Truth was, he tried to be angry. Maybe he was, a bit.

But he was scared. So, so scared. Scared of Marvin getting away. The one good thing he’s had since-

He hasn’t thought of Nathan in years.

Why?

Because he had Marvin, if he had to take a guess.

Marvin somehow had that effect on him.

If Marvin leaves, he probably wouldn’t ever date again. It wouldn’t be worth it. Nobody else was ever going to fit his standards list.

He wanted Marvin to hold him.

He could walk down there and ask for him to do so right now.

He stayed.

Cordelia walked into the room and sat on the bed, the spot Whizzer was facing away from, and rubbed his back. “Alright. What’s going on?”

Whizzer turned and sighed up at the ceiling. “What’d he say?”

“That he’s scared you think he doesn’t love you. Or that you don’t love him. He’s worried about whether or not you’re safe.” Cordelia murmured, talking sweetly, as a mother would to her child.

“Mm.” Whizzer hummed. “Did he say anything about… about the thing?”

“He said he feels bad for lying. And that he shouldn’t have. He wouldn’t tell us more, though. Wanted you to be the first to know.” She told him, smiling softly. “Do you need anything? Food, a shower…”

“Alcohol.”

Cordelia laughed quietly, nodding. “Alcohol it is.”

She left the room, leaving Whizzer to dwell in his own thoughts. His phone has been buzzing nonstop.

13 Missed Calls From MARVIN

He ignored that. Hesitantly, he swiped to their messages.

Marvin: Whizzer?

Where are you?

You brought most of your stuff.

Please come home.

I can’t do this without you.

Jason’s mad at me. Did you talk to him about all of this?

The neighbors told me to just wait for you to come home. Said that you will eventually. Is that true? Please let it be true.

I love you, sweetheart.

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without you in my arms.

Just let me know you’re safe. Please.

I’ll leave you alone. You don’t want to talk to me. I’m sorry for not stopping sooner.

Goodnight, my love.

Whizzer stared at the messages.

He didn’t cry.

He didn’t.

Maybe he did. Maybe his face was covered in streaks of tears.

He silenced his phone.

Cordelia didn’t mention the obvious when she came back. Just handed him a comically large Bloody Mary and sat down next to him in bed. He snuggled into her shoulder. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

“I think Marvin’s cheating on me.”

“Oh.”

Whizzer hummed.

“Why?”

“I found a ring in his pocket. Too big on me. No way it’ll fit him, his hands are smaller. He kept making up lies on where he got it and why he had it.”

“Dickhead.”

“Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay here tonight. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow, planning on finding a hotel.” He murmured, leaning his head on hers and taking a sip.

“You don’t have to.” Cordelia offered, smiling softly.

“I do. Wanna get farther away from him. Besides, he knows where I work. Best if he can’t figure out where I’m sleeping, right?” Whizzer laughed. Cordelia didn’t. There was no humor in his words. “I thought we had trust in our relationship. I trusted him with my life. Literally. But… Jason said something tonight. I don’t think Marvin’s told me the full story about himself. Almost three years, and I don’t even know about his family life before I got involved and fucked everything up.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up, Whizzer. You made it all better.” Cordelia sighed, brushing his hair back as he took a long swig.

“How do you know?” Whizzer asked. He froze. “Did he tell you two before telling me?” He asked, voice raising a bit. “Of course. Of course! Why should I have expected anything different from a lying- cheating- dickhead?” He emphasized each of his final words with a bang of his fist against his knee. Cordelia took his hand in hers and held it. Whizzer stared at her for a moment, before one, two, five sobs escaped his lips, and he was buried in her shoulder. “I hate him.” Whizzer sobbed, letting the tears fall freely. “I- I hate him. I hate him I hate him I hate him I love him I love him, fuck, I love him and I can’t live without him, Delia. I can’t.”

“You won’t have to. You won’t. He loves you more than anything.”

“Then why does he lie to me?” Whizzer asked as quietly as a cricket in the middle of a storm.

“Because he’s afraid you’ll hate him, Whizzer.” Cordelia explained, sighing.

Whizzer huffed. “I thought he’d literally kill me and I still told him what… what I was. That’s not fair.”

Cordelia nodded in agreement. “But it’s how he works.”

“Fuck him.”

He chugged the other half of his Bloody Mary.

The rest of the night was a blur.

Chapter Text

Whizzer went to work with no problems the next day. His hotel was nice.

Today went differently.

He went to work, as usual, and it started out fine. He checked in, practically just sat there with pre-made beers for the people only there to drink away their sadness, until the sun started setting.

Usuals and people—usually in groups—that he had never seen before flooded the bar, slowly but surely, and the rest of the drinks he had already made were taken. He made new drinks as they were ordered.

That seat creaked.

The one nobody liked. And if they had liked it, that changed a little more than three years ago, just because it wasn’t worth the fight. Whizzer glanced over.

As he suspected, sitting there in all his glory, was Marvin. He looked anxious as he was the first time Whizzer saw him, fiddling and refusing eye contact. He huffed, taking every order he could before apprehensively walking over. He could get out of it the easy way.

“What can I get for you, sir?” He asked, forcing his signature smile and opening his pen with his teeth.

“Whizzer…” Marvin sighed, biting his lip out of stress.

“Well, do you want a drink or are you just going to stare at me all night? I know I’m pretty, but it is mandatory for you to buy something if you want to stay here.” He laughed, and he could tell Marvin knew it was fake, but the man did this to himself.

“Can we please just talk? Civilly? Or- or will you come home? Please come home, babydoll. I’ll sleep on the couch, but Jason misses you, and I miss you. I know that doesn’t matter, but the kid’s really worried, all right? He asked me to come.” Marvin tried, furrowing his eyebrows. Whizzer could see tears in his eyes. He knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn’t stop himself. Not now.

“Oh, so you’re only here because Jason asked you to be?” Whizzer asked. Marvin nodded, then shook his head quickly, opening his mouth to speak but being cut off by someone calling Whizzer over. “I’ll give you a minute to look at the menu. I wasn’t kidding. Its protocol.” Whizzer scoffed, turning away and bringing his smile back, walking over to the other person.

He flirted with Whizzer. Whizzer found himself innocently flirting back. He wouldn’t take it anywhere; it seemed this guy didn’t really want to either. But Marvin didn’t know that. Marvin could get paid back. Even if Marvin was telling the truth about not cheating, he was lying about other things.

Why that ring was in his pocket.

Why everyone knew about his past except for him.

What said past was.

He made the drink, walking back to Marvin while winking over his shoulder.

Marvin looked on the verge of tears when he got back.

He tried his best to ignore how hurt he looked.

“Listen. If you don’t buy a drink now I’ll be forced to kick you out.” Whizzer huffed, crossing his arms.

“I’ll just take a coke.” Marvin whispered, just loud enough to be heard. Whizzer nodded.

“I’ll get that right to you.”

Once Whizzer set Marvin’s drink down, the only time he even went near him was to refill said drink, or when he was talking to someone near him. He would flirt with anyone who he knew wouldn’t try anything later, knowing Marvin could see. Every glance he got of him, his lover's eyes were filled with hurt.

No regulars sat in the seat next to him. They gave them privacy.

“Whizzer.”

He promptly ignored it, instead continuing to wash the cup he had in his hand. It was clean. Marvin didn’t need to know that.

“Whizzer.”

Again, no response. He had no reason to give Marvin the pleasure of a response.

“Whizzer.”

“What, Marvin? What do you want? Why are you still here? I just need some space, and-”

“Are we over?” He asked quietly, the tears in his eyes prominent in the colorful lighting.

He wasn’t sure what to say. “Do you want to be?” He asked, equally quiet now.

“No. God, no, Whizzer, I would hate that!” He exclaimed, face tight, as though willing the tears not to fall.

“Then no. Not yet, at least. I… I want to talk about a few things. But not now. I’m not ready yet.” He muttered, closer to Marvin than he had been all night.

Marvin smiled softly, tilting his head. “How many possible outcomes have you written out for yourself in your head?” He asked, smile growing a bit.

“That’s none of your business.”

He raised his eyebrows, urging.

“Fifteen.”

He responded. Of course he responded. It was Marvin! Marvin, who loved him when he was sure nobody could. Marvin, who got him out of the lowest time of his life, and visited him as much as possible in the hospital, and paid for that stay in the hospital since he saw no reason for getting health insurance at the time. It was perfect. In Whizzer’s eyes, it was perfect.

But nobody was perfect.

Not even him.

Not even if Whizzer has been waiting for him to just propose for two years. Marvin said he would want to do it. He wanted to respect that.

But maybe Marvin wouldn’t propose for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, Marvin was hoping to propose to someone else.

Someone who just so happened to have slightly bigger hands than him.

Marvin laughed. His smile grew a bit sad, and he studied Whizzer. “And how many of those ended with you happy?”

“Perfect or just happy?”

“Both.”

The cup Whizzer was “washing” was long forgotten by now. “Three were happy. Only one was perfect.”

A hum. “And what is this perfect ending?”

Whizzer’s smile dropped, before inching up again. “If I tell you, you’ll just remember it and not tell me the truth.”

“What if the truth fits your ending?”

“It won’t. What about you? How many happy endings?”

“Two.”

“I don’t think It's fair for me to ask, but what are they?”

“Well… one has to happen for the other to happen. So I’m just hoping the first one happens. I wouldn’t say it’s too much to hope for. You might disagree, though. Just remember that I love you, okay?” Marvin admitted, looking down.

Whizzer glanced at the clock, before starting to undo his apron upon seeing the peculiar headlight shade of his coworker's car. “I’m off. I’ll… I’ll come home eventually. Maybe in a little less than a week. Please don’t come back to the bar, I really do need some time to think.”

And with one final glance to Marvin, he left the building.

Chapter Text

The air was cold and bit his skin. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself, breathing out into the air, a puff of smoke coming out with it as the last of his cigarette was dropped and grinded into the concrete.

His hotel was walking distance, and in the afternoon heat he thought it would be smart to walk. It wasn’t. He walked quickly in the dark, helping keep him aware of his surroundings and his house key snug between two fingers.

“Trying to find me?” A deep voice asked, caught up from behind. He didn’t recognize it.

“Trying to get home.” Whizzer said. That was a stupid thing to say to someone who was following him. He knew that. But… maybe being a little reckless would make Marvin jealous. If he got hurt? Maybe that jealousness would turn into guilt. So he said something he shouldn’t have said.

“You looking for any company tonight, sweetheart?”

“Avoiding my current company, actually.” He forced a laugh.

“How about I give you a nice place to avoid him at?” The man asked, grinning and placing his arm around Whizzers shoulders.

Whizzer smiled uncomfortably, trying to step away, but finding himself pulled back. “I’m not really into that.”

“Then why are you such a flirt, sweetheart?” He added, roughly grabbing Whizzer’s wrist. “There are some bad people out there.”

“I was flirting to annoy my boyfriend. I didn’t- don’t mean that…”

As they passed an alleyway, Whizzer was pushed into it, his hands being pinned up above him.

“Could I interest you in a drink?” He asked, smirking.

“No sir.”

He pulled a water bottle out and opened it, placing it to Whizzer’s lips. “Drink. I don’t care what you are, you’re going to swallow tonight.”

“The water?” Whizzer asked, jokingly, pleadingly, though his hope of that being the case was fading.

“Drink.”

Water began pouring into his mouth.

Whizzer swallowed. He didn’t want to, but he was beginning to choke on it. His vision and thoughts went pleasantly blurry.

~~

He watched it happen. He watched it all happen, in fact, until he watched his boyfriend get swiftly shoved into an alley. Then, it was all shed from his view.

If he could help, he would. And honestly, by the time he thought of the most basic idea ever, the amount of time he thought necessary to make a phone call to the cops had already passed.

“Hey!” Marvin yelled, hoping he sounded more confident and intimidating than he was. “Get the fuck off my boyfriend.” He snarled while pushing him by the shoulder. Marvin pulled out a “knife”, which was really just some metal, but the way he held it in the din light made it convincing, watching as the man seemed just a bit smaller. “I would get out of here before the police come if I were you.”

He ran away a moment later, leaving Marvin with a seemingly high boyfriend. “Hey, dollface.” Marvin murmured, taking Whizzer’s face in his hands. “Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

Whizzer fought, though it was really just light pats. “I’m not leaving your side tonight, whether you like it or not. Come on, baby.”

Weakly, he nodded and began to try and follow Marvin, falling as he did so, and Marvin practically had to carry him to the car.

He was asleep by the time Marvin parked in their driveway.

Marvin scooped him up, holding him close to help himself feel he was safe and warm, and carefully tucked him into their bed. He kept his chest slightly propped up, blanket covering half of him.

He got an Advil and a glass of water set out on their nightstand for him, along with a bucket right next to the bed. He’d feel nauseous the next morning, most likely.

After a moment of debate of whether or not it would be okay, Marvin kissed him on the forehead, tucking his hair back and going to the couch with a blanket from the hall closet.

~

Whizzer didn’t know where he was. Not at first. His eyes opened, but he couldn’t remember getting in bed at all, the last thing he remembered was…

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

His head spun and throbbed as he shot up in bed, trying to catch his breath as he looked around.

This was his bedroom. The bedroom he shared with Marvin. How?

He focused on how he felt for a second. That could tell him what happened. His throat felt fine. His ass felt fine. All that seemed wrong was his headache and how goddamn nauseous he felt.

God, he felt as though he would puke. Whizzer slipped out of bed and weakly made his way to the bathroom, tripping over articles of clothing and gripping onto walls for support.

But he made it. He kneeled over the toilet, gagging, and waiting a moment. If he threw up, he might feel better. That’s how it works, right? That’s how he was going to vision it. Slowly, he ran two fingers under cold water and shoved them almost entirely down his throat. Jesus, his gag reflex needed to come back a bit in case this happens again.

Eventually, he seemed to hit a tender spot, and he quickly pulled his fingers out as a liter of acid and whatever food was left in him came out the wrong way. He coughed and sputtered a bit, trying to wash out the taste, all while keeping his hand in his hair.

After a few seconds passed, he heard quick footsteps, and Marvin was by his side, taking his hair from him and rubbing his back through another wave. And another.

There was a moment of stillness in the room as Whizzer bent over the toilet, waiting, trying to see if that was the end of it. It seemed to be, for now at least. He leaned onto Marvin, feeling said man take a wet washcloth and dab around his mouth. Then, he filled a cup with tap water from the bathroom sink, offering it to Whizzer. “Swish some around in your mouth and spit, can you do that for me?”

Whizzer nodded, doing as instructed and leaning further into him. “Thank you.” He breathed, fluttering his eyes closed. “Thank you.”

“Always.” Marvin murmured, pressing his lips to Whizzer’s hair. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like I just threw up.” Whizzer huffed, looking up at him. “When did you find me?”

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

Whizzer nodded quickly.

“I saw him go up to you and just kind of… followed. He didn’t seem like the type to know it was innocent. You flirt with the regulars all the time, either jokingly or to annoy me. That guy just seemed like he wanted to get laid. And the way he grabbed your hand just felt suspicious. I ran over there and told him I had called the police about a minute after he pulled you in there.”

“Oh. Did you? Actually call, I mean.” Whizzer asked, closing his eyes again. Everything was bright.

“No. I wasn’t sure what to do, I- there was no time. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Marvin explained, stroking his hair. “I managed to get him away from you before he did anything more than drug you, it seems like.”

“I’m sorry.” Whizzer murmured, biting his cheek. “I was being careless.”

“You weren’t. It wasn’t your fault.” Marvin promised him, wrapping an arm around him.

“It was! Fuck, Marvin, I was—still am, a bit—so pissed at you. Even if you’re telling the truth about not cheating, you’ve lied to me about something big, and I’m the only one who doesn’t know about it. I was being careless on purpose so that you’d be angry, or jealous, or even just feel bad enough for me to be sorry. I don’t want pity, Marvin. You know me. But it’d be better than nothing.”

Marvin stared at him for a second, biting his lip and his eyes filling with tears, before sobbing quietly and bringing him into a bone crushing hug. “I’m sorry, Whizzer. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I just told you-”

“No. You’re right. I should’ve told you the truth. If I hadn’t you wouldn’t have been doing that, because I don’t pity you. I’m so sorry, because I love you and you could’ve gotten murdered because of me, and-”

Whizzer scoffed. “I wouldn’t have gotten murdered.”

“That’s how a lot of people who get attacked like that end up.”

They stared at each other for a moment, before Whizzer broke. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t- don’t apologize. Please don’t go and do that again, I don’t want you getting hurt. Or- or don’t leave. I’ll go. You can stay here, and stay safe, but if you don’t want to see me-”

Whizzer cut him off with a short kiss. “Can you drive me to the hotel I was staying at so that I can get my stuff?”

He's never seen Marvin nod so fast. “Would you want me to leave?”

“No. We need to talk, Marvin. We’ve been needing to talk.”

Chapter Text

They sat across from each other, Marvin’s eyes sad yet hopeful. They had gotten Whizzer’s stuff, and he paid his check, smiling carefully at the receptionist.

But that didn’t matter. Now, he was with Marvin, and he would finally get to know what he’s been hiding.

Finally.

Marvin’s hand slid out and opened, inviting. Whizzer took it.

“I think the reason I haven’t told you about this is because I didn’t want you to look at me differently. Everyone who knows has. But it’s unfair that I haven’t told you yet. Especially since you’ve told me everything about you, even when you were terrified of it. So, uh…” Marvin paused, staring down at the table and taking a deep breath. “Sorry.” He muttered quietly.

“Take your time.” Whizzer murmured back, kissing his hand. A bit of tension drained from Marvin’s shoulders.

“I was an asshole. That’s just a fact. Have been for a while by then. I grew out of acting obnoxious for attention from my parents and started yelling and- and hitting. And I feel horrible about it. I was scared of who I was, but I couldn’t figure out how to change that.”

He stared at the wall, then glanced at Whizzer and gave him a soft smile. “I went to the bar you work at. I just wanted to experience what I wanted to be. So I sat. And you talked to me. Fuck, I was nervous. I think you could tell.”

“I could definitely tell.” Whizzer teased, earning a laugh out of Marvin. The air felt lighter.

“But- I don’t know. We kept meeting up, and I kept falling harder and harder, and I- I started to love you. I had never loved anyone before. I wanted to find out if it was possible for me to be kind. To be a good person. So, I thought, it’d probably be easier to start with someone who didn’t know who I am. Was. And I could. So I started acting better to my wife and kid. And… I told Trina that I was gay. She was a lot more upset than she let off. She did actually want to meet you. I just had to… have them all act like everything was fine. We were used to doing that to each other anyway.

Remember that time I came home really stressed and I kinda looked like I would have a breakdown if the slightest little thing went wrong?” He asked. Whizzer nodded, smile softening again. “Trina got engaged. I was mad, and it was difficult, and it shouldn’t have been because I’m the gay one and I insisted on getting a divorce even though she was begging me to stay.”

He took a moment to breathe, the guilt on his face prominent while he stared blankly at the table. “The only reason that she still let me see Jason was because he wanted to spend time with you. That’s why you were in charge of checking on him for a while. He really likes you, y’know. There was a time he saw you more as a father figure than he did me. Maybe he still does. But I worked with him first. I tried. I’ve been trying so hard.”

Whizzer nodded, taking a slow breath. “I’m sure you’re doing great, sweetheart.”

“No, I- Whizzer, I hit her.” Marvin sobbed, watching the shock form in Whizzer’s eyes. “But… we’re civil now, y’know. I tried extra hard. We’re civil.”

Nodding again, Whizzer gestured for him to go on.

“Two years passed. And now we’re here. We’re here, and I might be fucking everything up with you. And- and I’m sorry that I hadn’t told you sooner, but it was so nice to have someone who didn’t look at me like I would break at any moment. I couldn’t bring myself to lose that. And I’m sorry for not being braver. And I love you so, so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Whizzer swallowed, before standing, entire body trembling. Marvin looked afraid, as if Whizzer would get up and leave again. Instead, he tugged at Marvin’s arms and pulled him into a hug, and for once, Marvin was glad he was smaller than him while hugging. “We can talk about the rest later, baby. How about now I hold you for a little bit?” He offered, burying his lips in Marvin’s hair.

“Okay.” Marvin breathed. He was tense. Whizzer picked him up, holding him by the thighs, carrying him to their bedroom and pulling Marvin up to his chest once they were situated. He wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back and kissing his hair.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done this for you before. We’re usually switched.” Whizzer murmured, smiling as Marvin nuzzled into him.

“Nobody’s ever done this for me before.” Marvin admitted, breathy, comfortable and finally untensing.

“I’m sorry. I should have held you sooner.” Whizzer sighed, leading Marvin’s head up and kissing his nose. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Marvin whispered back, smiling. He tucked his head into Whizzer’s chest, and Whizzer leaned his head on Marvin’s, and the apartment had never felt so warm.

“Don't you have work today?” Whizzer asked, massaging his arms.

“Mm. Called out sick to take care of you. Called you out sick too.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Whizzer added, running his hands through Marvin’s hair.

They were silent for a while. Maybe it was a few minutes, but it very well could have been an hour before Marvin spoke up. “How’d you know the ring wasn’t either of ours?” He asked, voice low. Whizzer tensed.

“It was too big on me. My hands are bigger than yours. So it clearly wasn’t either of ours.” He muttered, before going quiet.

Marvin hummed. “How big on you, would you say?”

Whizzer huffed, but answered the question. “I don’t know, a size or so? Why does that matter?”

“Just wondering. How about we go out to dinner tonight?”

Sending him a glare, Whizzer scoffed. “You can’t get out of this forever, you know?” He mumbled, scooting out from under him and walking towards the bedroom door. He wasn’t leaving. Not the house, at least, but he needed to be alone.

“Wait!” Marvin called out, quickly running to grab hold of his wrist. “I want to talk about it. At dinner. But I need to go out and run a few errands first, okay? Charlottes gonna come check up on you while I’m gone.”

Despite his desperation, Whizzer got a pang of suspicion. “Errands?”

“Errands.”

“You’re not trying to avoid me? Or- or go see-”

“No. There’s nobody to go see. I love you, okay? Only you.”

“And you promise we’ll talk at dinner? Stop avoiding the problem and talk it over like adults?”

“Yes. I promise.”

“Okay.”

Chapter Text

Whizzer spent the entire time Marvin was gone, and then sometime after he came back, with the bathroom door locked as he got ready. Marvin might want to leave him. Maybe if he got himself to look younger. Prettier. Somehow more appealing than whoever Marvin could be lying about fucking in his free time. Did Marvin feel bad? Was he telling the truth about not cheating?

He couldn’t keep living like this.

How many times did Marvin lie to Trina about it? About the man he was fucking while she sat at home with Jason. Made him dinner, just like Whizzer did as Marvin worked “overtime.”

Speaking of Jason, Whizzer hadn’t seen him all day. Where did he end up?

A knock on the door. “Hey, Whiz? We should probably head out now if we want to be on time for our reservation.” Marvin called through the door. He tried the handle. “Can you open the door, sweetheart? You’ve been in there for hours. Are you okay? Feeling sick again?”

“I’m alright!” Whizzer assured him, wiping a few tears away, though he doesn’t remember starting to cry. His eyes weren’t red, though. He opened the door. “Hey.”

He trailed his hands around Marvin’s waist, bringing them down to squeeze his ass. Marvin chuckled, but carefully pulled away. “We’ll be late for our reservation, and you’ll need to redo your hair. Not now.”

Whizzer pouted for show, but searched Marvin’s eyes. Marvin kissed him softly. “But… I’m all yours once we’re back from dinner, yeah? Does that sound good?”

Nodding, Whizzer forced a smile, which faltered as Marvin’s eyes turned concerned. “Hey, doll. You okay? Do you need anything?”

It’d probably get Marvin off his back if he just claimed his head was hurting, right? “Advil? I still have a headache.”

Marvin grinned and nodded. “Course. How about you wait in the car? I’ll be right down with that.”

“I can get it myself.” Whizzer countered, searching his eyes a bit more. Why?

Whywhywhywhywhywhy-

Lips connected with his. Marvin’s lips. “Can you hear me now?”

“You’re such a dork.” Whizzer laughed, pulling him a bit closer. “What’d you say?”

“I said that I can also get it for you. Because I love you, and the kitchen is either really bright or pitch black, and you have a headache. Do you want to wait up here so we can walk to the car together instead?”

Right. Headache. He nodded. Marvin headed into their kitchen. He came back a moment later and handed Whizzer a blue pill, before taking his free hand and walking him down to the car.

Whizzer couldn’t stop staring at the pill. He couldn’t take it. He could only stare. What did the pill that had dissolved into that water bottle the night before look like? Where would he be right now if Marvin hadn’t been following him?

Oh god, he could’ve gotten murdered.

Kidnapped and used like a sex toy until he got murdered, or maybe he would just die without them needing to.

He had to stop thinking about this. He couldn’t swallow the pill. He just couldn’t.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Marvin asked softly, reaching over the middle console to massage Whizzer’s thigh.

“My headache is gone.” He said simply, turning to look out the window.

“You’re safe.” Marvin whispered, lacing his hand with Whizzer’s and squeezing gently. “You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not again.” His voice went grim and he finished, staring out the windshield with glassy eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Whizzer choked out. He refused to cry. He couldn’t cry. Not now.

Younger.

Prettier.

Just like when they first met.

He managed to put all his thoughts to the back of his mind. He didn’t need to think.

“It's okay to cry, baby.” Marvin whispered, squeezing his hand again.

“I don’t need to cry.” Whizzer said back, even though it hurt to talk and hold his tears back at the same time.

Marvin sighed. “Your voice is strained.”

“Drop it.”

He dropped it.

“Is it okay that we’re going out to talk about this? I can cancel the reservation. Just thought I could treat you to something nice to ease all the stress. It’s up to you, love.”

“Yeah. Yeah, this is fine.” Whizzer muttered, staring out the window. He had to keep up his appearance.

“Whiz.” Marvin murmured. “Whizzer, can you look at me?” He parked the car. Hesitantly, Whizzer did as asked, and Marvin stroked his face before cupping it gently. He leaned into it. “You look so gorgeous. You always look so gorgeous. I love it when you dress up nice, or when you’re just waking up in the morning, and I’m the only one who gets to see you with tousled hair. I love how you look cuddled into me after a long day.” His eyes got a mischievous glint in them as he leaned into Whizzer’s ear. “I love how you look sprawled out and naked on the bed for me, when your lips part and your cheeks are tinted pink.” He murmured, running his hand up Whizzer’s chest and stopping over his heart, leaning just the slightest bit closer and nipping at his ear. Whizzer huffed out a laugh.

“We’re about to go inside, you dick!” Whizzer laughed, turning his head to kiss Marvin on the lips.

“Mm. Like that. Your face always looks just like that.” He whispered, grinning. Whizzer punched his arm, getting him to yelp. “Let’s go inside, yeah?”

“Oh, you asshole!” Whizzer pushed him, grabbing his hand; thank god they were always cold, and holding it to his cheeks. “You're a dick.”

“I’ve gotta go check in, baby. How about you calm yourself down, hm?”

“I hate you, y’know that?”

“I love you too, my dear.” Marvin patted his thigh. “It’s cold out, nobody's gonna know. C’mon in with me, baby.” He whispered, low and seductive.

Whizzer was cackling. “Stop- stop talking like that, you weirdo!”

Marvin giggled. “Okay, we've actually got to head in now.” He wheezed, getting out of the car and running to open it for Whizzer, tugging him out and letting him lean into his shoulder, still holding back laughter.

Chapter Text

Once they were sitting down in the restaurant, the atmosphere felt different.

Marvin watched him with an unreadable expression; the closest Whizzer could point it to was nervousness. He bit his lip, looking down as Whizzer nursed his drink, choosing to avoid eye contact. “So.” Whizzer muttered, taking a breath. “What’re you thinking about, Marvin?”

“The best and worst ways tonight could go.” Marvin laughed apprehensively, glancing up and looking back down quickly. “What about you?”

“I’m not sure how to feel, Marv. I’m stuck between scared, pissed, and just flat out sad.” He muttered. Mirroring Marvin, he looked down, darting his eyes up as a hand was placed in front of him.

“I guess we can just be scared together, baby.” Marvin said, cracking a smile. Whizzer didn’t; he took Marvin’s hand slowly.

After a moment, Whizzer took a shaky breath. “Are you getting bored, Marvin?”

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “Of what?”

“Of me.”

Immediately, Marvin’s eyes filled with confusion and he shook his head, placing his other hand to sandwich Whizzer’s. “No. God, no. I don’t think you could ever get boring to me. Could… could you tell me why you think that, sweetheart?” He asked softly, searching Whizzer’s eyes.

Whizzer was quiet for a moment. “I’m getting old, Marvin.”

Younger.

He was just putting it out there. It was obvious, Marvin wouldn’t even need to be looking for it. His wrinkles were getting more prominent. His hairline was receding, and there was a bald spot slowly getting bigger on the back of his head. He had smile lines. Stretch marks in places he had never heard of people getting stretch marks. Surely Marvin couldn’t find that stuff attractive. Especially not on him. Not if when they first met, he had gotten countless compliments and had always been getting told he should go into modeling.

What was ruining Whizzer were the things that made Marvin hot. The endearing circles under his eyes. The dad bod. His wrinkles, and how they made him look wiser.

It wasn’t fair.

“Whizzer, you’re thirty eight, and somehow still look twenty. You’re not old, sweetheart.” Marvin assured him. It didn’t help. He probably hadn’t even gotten a good look at Whizzer in a while before tonight. “I know how you look, doll. And you were in the bathroom for hours, I know you did something.”

Prettier.

“I-” Whizzer cut himself off, looking down and taking his hand away. “Listen, Marvin. I love you. I really do. And- and if you’re gonna leave me tonight for someone younger, just do it. Don't try to flatter me first.”

“I’m not leaving you tonight. Or ever, if I can help it. Besides, who tries to sweet talk someone before breaking up with them?”

More silence.

“Nathan did.”

Marvin’s eyes widened. “I promise I’m not like him. You know I’m not like that, right baby? I love you. He hurt you. He knew what he did would hurt you. I would never, and I mean never, hurt you on purpose. You hear me? You’re my everything.” Marvin looked on the verge of tears. Whizzer wasn’t sure what to say. “Baby?”

Glancing at Marvin, then at the floor, then back at Marvin, Whizzer voiced the thing they both knew would come up sometime that night. “I’m gonna ask you a question, and you’re going to tell me the truth. The truth, Marvin. Cause the fact that you’ve lied about this? That hurt. You hurt me. So if you want me to believe that, you’ll tell me; Whose ring was in your pocket?

Marvin took a deep breath and smiled softly. “Nobodys? I bought it for sizing. It was $25, and I wanted to figure out what size to buy so that this works, but I was kind of put on a time crunch by you so we’re just gonna need to cross our fingers, yeah?”

Whizzer felt like he would puke. He just stared at Marvin. He glanced down at his steak, but his appetite had disappeared.

“Can you look at me, Whizzer?” Marvin asked, holding his hands out. Slowly, Whizzer took them and did as asked. “Listen, sweetheart. I’ve loved you since before I said it the first time. I think I knew I loved you when I decided to divorce Trina. I wanted to grow old with you. And that hasn’t changed. Three years, and I still love you just as much as I did then. I shouldn’t have lied to you about why I had the ring, Whizzer. I just wanted this to be a surprise. But… I lied. And it hurt you, and made you leave, and some bad shit almost happened to you, and I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that. I swear to you, Whizzer Brown; if I am ever anything less than a safe person for you, I give you my full permission to slap me across the face.” Marvin spoke with full seriousness, and Whizzer chuckled a bit. He couldn’t figure out where this was going.

“What’s going on, Marvin?” He asked, smiling softly.

Marvin huffed out a laugh. “I’m getting there. Promise. So, uh- to shorten that monologue, I love you, and I want you to feel safe with me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and god I’m scared to say this. I’m not sure if I did this whole monologue right, but-” He slipped out of his chair and removed his hands from Whizzer’s, before pulling Whizzer to stand with him. Slowly, he slipped down to one knee and fumbled with something in his pocket. “Will you marry me, Whizzer Brown?”

Whizzer could swear his throat closed up. His eyes burned with tears, and oh god, he’s been waiting for this for two years. He sobbed a laugh, and nodded fully, holding his left hand out and letting Marvin slip the ring on his finger before Whizzer pulled him up. “Yeah?” Marvin breathed, grinning.

“Yeah.” Whizzer sobbed, laughing and pulling Marvin in by the cheeks for a kiss. “I’m sorry.” He choked, moving to hug Marvin as tight as he could. He could hear distant cheers, but his brain ignored them for the most part. It felt like it was just him and his fiancé.

“Why are you sorry, sweetheart?” Marvin asked, feeling Whizzer’s hand and tracing the ring with his thumb.

“For doubting you.” He whispered, crying and laughing and loving. “I love you, Marv.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was my fault, okay? Mine. I love you too. I love you so much.” Marvin breathed back, pulling away just enough to kiss Whizzer again. Whizzer tried to convey everything he felt that he couldn’t put into words. “Do you want to get dessert or just go home?”

“Let’s get some dessert, yeah.” Whizzer breathed, nodding. Marvin helped him sit down before pulling his own chair to the side of the table to sit closer to him.

Chapter Text

They ordered a lava cake to share, an occasional joke about “practicing for the wedding” being thrown around as they fed it to each other. A few people congratulated them as they left the restaurant, to which Whizzer would respond with a teary eyed “thank you,” since he couldn’t seem to make the tears go away.

As they left the restaurant themselves, the question Whizzer had in his head popped back up again. “Hey, Marv?” He murmured, squeezing Marvin’s hand. “Where’s Jason at? Wasn’t he supposed to stay with us all week?”

Marvin nodded. “A friend asked him to spend the night. Lucky, too. I probably would have had him go to Trina’s so I could make sure you were okay. Didn’t want him to feel neglected, y’know?” He sighed, thumbing over Whizzers ring and smiling softly. “How are you feeling? You never took that Advil.”

Shrugging, Whizzer slipped into the car and waited for Marvin to do the same to continue. “I couldn’t take it. After last night, I just… I couldn’t not remember what happened when I took it this morning.” Marvin’s hand laced with his own, squeezing gently. “But I’m feeling okay. Definitely better than I did this morning.” He muttered, glancing down.

Whizzer touched his arm to Marvin’s. It wasn’t enough. He looked over at him, at the focus he held as he drove, at how calm he looked while doing it. He could hardly note those things. He probably wouldn’t have been able to if he hadn’t noticed them before. All he could think about was how much love he held for this man. He needed to be closer to him, but the car made that difficult. He hated cars. But he could wait it out. Just a few more minutes passed.

One minute.

He could hardly handle it.

Two minutes.

He came up with an idea.

“Can you pull over, baby?” He asked, fiddling with his pants pocket. Marvin raised an eyebrow, but did as asked, looking over as he parked.

“You alright?”

“Mhm.” Whizzer hummed. “Stay where you are.” He hopped out of the car, moving to Marvin’s side of the second row of seats and sliding in behind him. He scooched forward, leaning his head on Marvin’s shoulder and draping one arm over his chest. Marvin’s own hand found his other. “Okay. I’m good now.”

“Buckle your seatbelt, Whiz.” Marvin laughed, squeezing his hand.

“I don’t have to. Besides, it’ll pull me back. I want to stay like this.” Whizzer murmured, fluttering his eyes closed and feeling Marvin scratch his head for a moment, before taking that hand away and pulling back onto the road. “Kiss me.” Whizzer muttered after a while, turning his head.

“I have to keep my eyes on the road, Whizzer.”

“Please?”

“I’m sorry.”

Whizzer huffed, forcing himself up a bit more and draping himself over the seat to kiss Marvin quickly, before dropping back to his original spot. Marvin’s eyes were wide. “Jesus!” He exclaimed, checking his distance between the cars sandwiching him and fixing his mirror. “You’re gonna get us killed.”

With a laugh and a shrug, Whizzer closed his eyes again, allowing himself to melt into his fiancé the best he could.

Just a few more minutes, he reminded himself.

Once they finally pulled into their driveway, Whizzer was quick to get out of the car, practically pulling Marvin along with him.

“What are you so eager to get to?” Marvin asked, a hint of a growl in his voice.

“Mm. You. I wanna get as close to you as possible.”

Somehow, Marvin managed to smirk gently, nudging their shoulders together. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

His little sex scheme had disappeared; no doubt to be brought back later, but for now he looked genuinely interested.

“Not sure. Just need to. I need to be close to you in every single way I can or I might just scream.” Whizzer muttered, pulling Marvin to their bed and tugging him to lay over him, wrapping his arms around him.

Marvin kissed right under his ear. “I think I have a way for us to get extra close.” He murmured, moving his lips down. “If you’re up for that tonight.”

Whizzer nodded quickly, pulling Marvin’s lips to his.

Marvin collapsed on top of him, kissing his chest lightly and catching his breath. “I love you.” Marvin gasped, punctuating his sentence with a kiss.

“I love you too.” Whizzer breathed, threading his fingers through Marvin’s hair. “Turn on your side?”

Marvin did so, and Whizzer followed, digging his face into Marvin’s chest and wrapping around him like a sloth, grinning as Marvin followed suit. And that’s how Whizzer drifted off to sleep; Marvin in his arms and himself in Marvin’s.

The next morning, Whizzer was shaken awake by Marvin carefully pulling away from him. Whizzer whined, pulling him back.

“Oh. Sorry, baby. I’ve gotta go to work. Didn’t mean to wake you, I know you like to sleep in on Friday’s.” Marvin murmured, kissing his temple.

“Come back to bed.” Whizzer muttered, pulling again at Marvin’s arms.

Marvin sighed, reaching up to run his hand through Whizzer’s hair. “I can’t, sweetheart. You know I would if I could.” He whispered, kissing him gently. Whizzer’s eyes opened slowly.

“Why can’t you stay?”

“I didn’t go to work yesterday. I’ll need to stay extra late tonight, okay? Work the overtime hours I missed. It’ll probably be past two in the morning when I get home, so I don't want you waiting up for me, okay? I love you.”

Whizzer whined again, looking up at him. “I love you too. Can I call you at all? During lunch, maybe? I think… Jesus. Marv, do you think we’re making enough that we’ll be okay if I get a new job? I always feel bad that nobody’s here when Jason gets home, and I’ve never enjoyed my job much anyway, and after the other night-”

“We’re financially stable. Do it. I’d love for you to be home when I get home, and be there for Jason. I don’t want work to be miserable for you. How about you stay home today, alright? Look for a job if you want, or just take a day to destress. If you miss me today, look at the inside of your ring.”

And with that, Marvin pulled away and went to get ready.

Chapter Text

Instead of getting out of bed right away, Whizzer sat up in bed and watched Marvin get ready, responding with “yes” or “fuck no” whenever Marvin asked for his opinion on an outfit. It was calming, and he was relatively comfortable in bed. Marvin kept looking over at him with curious eyes, and he would smile and turn away after a moment.

Soon, Marvin walked back over to bed, kissing Whizzer gently on the temple. “Gonna go shower now, okay? Thanks for the help, love.” He murmured, kissing him properly as Whizzer turned his head. “Jason walks home from school. Call me if you need anything. I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” Whizzer echoed, taking a breath.

As he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, Whizzer decided he could still do what he usually did in the morning. He slipped into the kitchen, grabbing a few things and making Marvin a quick breakfast.

Marvin never did have time to make himself more than coffee in the morning. So usually Whizzer, since he never had to leave that early, would make Marvin something to eat before he left on the days he wasn’t too tired to do so.

And so, Marvin walked into the kitchen to get himself coffee and smiled as Whizzer handed him his favorite mug, trying his best to make something that resembled eggs. Marvin could bake. Whizzer could iron. Neither of them were good at cooking. It was just a fact. But still, each other's stuff tasted good enough, and they hardly cooked anyways.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Marvin hummed, kissing him softly. “You should put an apron or something on before you burn yourself trying to cook naked to mess with me before work.”

Whizzer snorted, leaning back so that Marvin was supporting most of his weight. “Is it working?” He asked, tilting his head.

Shrugging, Marvin huffed out a laugh and kissed him softly. “Maybe. Seriously though. Wouldn’t want my pretty boy getting hurt, hm?”

“Oh, your pretty boy.” Whizzer laughed, turning back to the eggs for a moment before deciding they weren’t burning and turning back to Marvin.

Marvin nodded, running his hand down Whizzer’s arm and running a thumb along his engagement ring. “Mhm.” He murmured, staring at it with a smile.

Laughing, Whizzer plated Marvin some food, handing it to him and kissing him one last time. “Have time to eat with me?” He asked, smiling. Marvin started getting up a bit earlier for that, but he hadn’t known Whizzer was getting up today. It definitely looked as though he wasn’t planning on it.

“Kinda. I might need to take some with me today, but I should have a few minutes.” He checked his watch. “Ten. Ten minutes.”

“Good.” Whizzer hummed, making himself a plate. “Go sit.” He instructed, brushing past a staring Marvin.

“What?” Marvin asked, blinking.

“I said,” Whizzer laughed, pinching him. “Stop being a dork who stares like a goldfish at their fiancé and come eat with me.” He walked back over to Marvin. “We don’t get much time like this. Not this week so far, anyway. C’mon.” Whizzer pulled at his wrist to lead him to the table. Marvin followed, smirking.

“It’s hard not to stare when you’re doing this naked.”

“Marvin!” Whizzer exclaimed, giggling. “You’re such a dork!”

Marvin grinned. “You still love me.”

“Yeah. Maybe I do, you dork.”

They ate, sharing small conversations as they did so, until Marvin’s watch beeped and he frowned. “I’ve gotta run.” He muttered, walking over to kiss Whizzers forehead and take his plate, slipping the dishes into the dishwasher. “My turn to load tonight, so don’t worry about that, I’ll do them once I’m home.”

“No, Marv. It’s fine. You’ve had to do it for two of my days, I’ll do it for two of yours. Besides, you won’t be back until- like- two in the morning. You’ll wake Jason.” Whizzer sighed.

“It wasn’t your fault that you were gone.”

“Wasn’t it? I was acting childish, Marvin. Let’s just move on and let me do the dishes.”

Marvin sighed. Even if he disagreed, he wouldn’t be home to stop him. Whizzer had him beat. “Okay. Okay, fine. I’ve gotta go to work now, okay? I love you, baby.” He kissed Whizzer softly, before the door clicked shut and Whizzer was left in the silence of the kitchen. He ran a hand down his face, closing his eyes. But he couldn’t mope around on how housewifey this feels. Whizzer knows Marvin doesn’t mean to make him feel like that, and Whizzer needs to get some stuff done.

But he thought about what Marvin had said. To look inside the ring. Slowly, he slipped it off, reading the engraved text he hadn’t noticed before.

For the one I’ve made it to hell and back with. You’re never alone, my love.

Whizzer smiled. The use of “my love” has always been such a Marvin thing. His sappiness makes Whizzer go weak in the knees.

He slid the ring back onto his finger, slowly bringing it up to his lips to kiss softly.

After a moment to just be, Whizzer blinked a few times and grabbed his laptop, flopping down on the couch.

He decided to send an email to his job that he was quitting first. Hopefully, he could keep himself from losing a letter of recommendation.

Pulling up his email, he took a deep breath and started typing.

5/17/24

Hello, Dan:

I would like to inform you that I’m resigning from my position as a bartender, effective 5/20/24.

While I have enjoyed my time here and am forever thankful for the experience, a recent grievance with a customer has made me too uncomfortable to continue in this position. Even so, I do not regret my time here and will hope to keep in touch.

Thank you,

Whizzer Brown

He sighed. It was good enough. Slowly, he hit send, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was over. The only thing that brought his past to mind was gone. It was finally over.

Whizzer lay his head back against the couch and smiled, before going to browse job listings.

Chapter Text

After a while, he had applied for an interview with fifteen companies, and was completely worn out. It wasn’t even that much work.

But the door opened, and a worn out Jason walked into the kitchen to grab a granola bar and a cup of water; before heading to the living room and flopping onto the couch, jumping as he spotted Whizzer.

“Jesus!” He exclaimed, steadying his water. “I didn’t know you came home.” He added, leaning back against the couch. “Or that you’d be home from work yet.”

Whizzer smiled. “I came back last night. And I’m quitting my job. Something… came up.”

Nodding, Jason drank some of his water and took a bite of his snack. “Hm. Now can you stop lying to me and tell me what’s going on?”

“I found a ring in his pocket. Wouldn’t fit either of us, I just got a bit suspicious. He kept lying about it, and that’s when I left. I uh- was gonna be gone for longer but I got into a bit of trouble at work and your dad helped me get somewhere safe.” He explained, glancing at the ring and smiling while running a thumb over it. “Turns out he was trying to size my ring finger in my sleep.” He huffed out a laugh, before showing Jason his hand. “He uh- he proposed that night. Is that okay? We can totally wait a bit if you’re not comfortable with that.”

“It’s fine. You’re cool. It’s nice that you’ll still be around.” Jason said. “Dad talked to me about it a while ago.”

“Ah. Okay.” Whizzer sighed, grabbing the remote and then pausing. “He told me about- about him, I guess. And how he used to act. I’m sorry.”

Jason shrugged. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault that dad was a dick, you didn’t even know him through most of it. Can I choose what we watch?”

Whizzer blinked, then remembered the remote in his hand and tossed it over. “Course. I was about to pass it over.”

Humming, Jason fiddled with the TV. “Why do you guys always let me pick?”

“We thought you’d enjoy spending time as a family more with movie nights if you decided what it is we’re watching. And also because I don’t think either of us want to risk Marv picking, and I don’t want to explain to him why he’s the only one who doesn’t get to.” Whizzer explained, curling into the arm of the couch and pulling his phone out. Opening up Wordscapes, he went in and out of watching the movie. He had seen this one a million times anyway, and knew it by heart. It was just a classic.

“Are you paying attention? I can turn something else on.” Jason offered, reaching for the remote. Whizzer shook his head.

“It was my favorite when I was a kid. I just know what’s happening by now.” He told him, rolling his neck. “Want me to act out a scene for you?”

Jason nodded, amused, and not-so-subtly pulling out his phone to record.

And so, he did. He acted out an entire five minute scene from the movie, playing every character, and regretting nothing. Jason was snickering. “What, you dickhead?” Whizzer asked, laughing and throwing a pillow at him.

“That was horrible.” Jason laughed.

“You mispronounced Tony worthy.” Whizzer sighed, kicking his legs up on the couch as Jason watched from the armchair.

“Mhm. Whatever you say.”

Whizzer saw the video on Twitter a few minutes later.

WhizB: Wow. Whoever did that has crazy talent.

Jason looked over at him and raised his eyebrows.

Chessgod: That’s you.

WhizB: wow.

Chessgod: this is really embarrassing

WhizB: Oh yeah? Well I fucked your dad.

Chessgod: I heard.

WhizB: oh shit.

I… apologize.

Chessgod: good

Whizzer looked over at him, face white. “That was probably my bad.” He said, blinking.

“Yeah. It was.”

“Oh.” Whizzer turned his attention back to the screen, blinking rapidly.

Marvin came home at around the time he had said, finding Whizzer calmly reading in the living room, with one small corner light to brighten the page. The rest of the house was pitch black.

“You did the dishes.” Marvin observed, sitting on the arm of the chair he was sitting on.

“I said I would.” Whizzer shrugged, bookmarking his page and smiling at Marvin, tilting his head.

“And you’re awake.”

“Mhm.” Whizzer hummed, slipping Marvin’s jacket off and hung it up as he toed off his shoes. “Come to bed?”

Marvin nodded tiredly, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. “What all did you do today?” He asked as he undressed, leaving himself in boxers and slipping on a T-shirt.

“Sent in a resignation email, and applied for a few jobs in the listing. Did you see the post Jason made of me?”

“I did.”

Whizzer raised his eyebrows.

“It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, doll.” Marvin told him sarcastically. Whizzer grinned and kissed his cheek, before pulling him down to cuddle.

“I missed you.” Whizzer murmured.

“I missed you too, love.” Marvin whispered back, kissing his forehead, nose, and finally his mouth, pulling away after a moment and twisting to turn the light off. “Just a few more days of this, alright? Then no more overtime.”

“No more overtime.” Whizzer agreed.

He should’ve known it would be too good to be true. Nothing good ever lasts. Whizzer didn’t get good things without a consequence.

A few weeks later, Whizzer and Marvin found themselves in a bar, the first one Whizzer had been in since he quit, and, admittedly, a much nicer bar than the one he used to work at. Marvin hadn’t left his side. He held his hand when Whizzer’s hands trembled as they walked in, wanting to get over his fear sooner rather than later. “I used to practically live in a bar.” Whizzer huffed, clutching Marvin’s arm. “And now they’re horrifying. That’s something, isn’t it?”

Marvin hummed, gently turning him and kissing him softly on the lips. “I’m probably gonna get a drink. Do you want one or would that be too much too quickly?”

Groaning, Whizzer nodded. “Need a drink. That’s the only way I’ll loosen up and get used to this again. Get me a cosmopolitan?”

Nodding, Marvin led him over to the bar and bought them both a drink.

Chapter Text

Whizzer sighed as he was handed a glass, smiling tightly at Marvin. “Thanks.” He murmured, taking a long sip before choosing to cover the top of his glass.

They sat, mostly in silence, at the bar, Marvin’s hand on his thigh and Whizzer’s hand resting on top. Whizzer finished his drink, and then another, and finally, Marvin finished his first, smiling and taking his hands. “Dance with me?” Marvin asked, smiling. Whizzer looked over into the crowd. Two people were practically fucking in the corner.

“Like that?” Whizzer asked, giving Marvin a lopsided smile. Marvin shrugged.

“Who said we have to do what other people are doing? C‘mon.”

And with that, Marvin pulled him up and into the crowd, placing his hands at his sides and gestured for Whizzer to put his own around his neck.

“Marvin, this is a bar, not a royal ball from the 1800s.”

“Never said it was!” Marvin defended, swaying slowly and pulling Whizzer with him.

Whizzer tilted his head, before taking his arms away and grabbing Marvin’s shirt, pulling him closer. “Do I need to show you how to act in a bar, Marvin?” Whizzer asked, a small laugh in his voice.

Raising his eyebrows, Marvin shrugged. “Maybe you do.” He murmured. Whizzer crashed their lips together and clutched onto his shirt.

Slowly, Marvin’s hand moved to his hair, pushing his face closer, before pulling away and grinning. “You’ve gotten your groove back, baby.”

“Please never say that again.” Whizzer huffed out a laugh, grinning back. Marvin shrugged.

“I love you.” Marvin whispered, leaning forward and kissing him for a short moment.

Whizzer’s smile softened, and he held Marvin close for a moment. “I love you too.” He breathed, closing his eyes, before pulling back. “I need another drink. Getting drunk is fun.”

Marvin laughed, nodding and following him back to the bar. “Do you know how gorgeous you are?” Marvin asked him, running his hand down his arm.

“Do you know how drunk you are?”

“How was I supposed to know I’d get drunk after one drink?”

“Because your closeted mind can only handle beer.”

“I’ve been out for three years!”

“And you forgot to stop drinking beer? Wow, Marv, some queer you are.”

“Fuck you.” Marvin laughed, leaning in and connecting their lips again. Whizzer trailed a hand around to squeeze his ass, and Marvin jumped. “That was you, right?”

“Yeah. That was me.” Whizzer smirked, winking at him.

He ordered another drink.

And another.

People were zooming past, and he had let his guard down, Marvin and his drinks standing open next to them on the counter. He downed his glass, and everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. He needed to go, but both of them were too drunk to drive. They should’ve thought of that.

A man walked up to them.

“You two need a ride home?” He asked, though Whizzer could hardly process it in his haze. Marvin said something, and then he was pulling Whizzer with him, setting money on the counter. Whizzer could’ve sworn that he recognized the man, but honestly, he just needed to go home and sleep.

He got into the stranger's car.

He blacked out.

An unreasonably bright light shown in his vision. He groaned, turning over in bed and bumping into Marvin, who hummed. “You need to wake up, sweetheart.” He murmured, rubbing his hands through Whizzer’s hair.

Slowly, Whizzer sat up and opened his eyes, going tense. There, in all its glory, was the room he had found himself coming back to in his dreams countless times. He didn’t scream. There was no point in doing so.

Marvin looked scared. But that wasn't really Marvin.

It was just a dream.

Whizzer curled into him. They’ll kill Marvin in a few minutes no matter if he behaved or not, that’s how these dreams worked. He wanted to enjoy Not Marvin for a bit.

It was just a dream.

The door opened, and two people walked in. One took Marvin by the arm, and Whizzer couldn’t help but run after him as he was led out. He was held back by the other person, who, once a light shone in the window, revealing Marvin and Dr. Johnson, revealed himself.

“Long time no see, aye baby?” Nathan asked, smiling unsettlingly.

Whizzer said nothing.

“Here’s how todays going to go, okay sweetheart? You need to be fairly weak for the test you’re doing tomorrow, and I haven’t gotten off in a hot minute.” Whizzer was pushed against the wall. He let out a grunt of pain. He bit the inside of his cheek and breathed shakily. “So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to kiss you, and I’m going to fuck you, and I think you know what happens if you refuse, hm?”

Slowly, Whizzer looked over at Marvin in the window and let a tear slide down his cheek.

It was just a dream.

Nathan forcefully crashed their lips together. Whizzer could do nothing but stare teary eyed at his fiancé, fiddling with his ring to calm himself.

He wouldn’t have remembered a thing about how Nathan’s mouth felt, tasted. But he could tell you every detail about it at that moment.

Nathan’s hand fisted through his hair, and Whizzer winced, sobbing quietly.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. He wanted Marvin. He needed Marvin. To just hold him. Maybe remind him that they’d be okay.

It was just a dream.

It hit him then, through the scarily realistic dream, that that wasn’t how brains worked. That he shouldn’t have been able to feel pain. He shouldn’t be able to know Nathan’s mouth, that he shouldn’t feel his body heat or hear the sound of Marvin’s breathing so clearly through the speakers. Shouldn’t feel the hot, fresh tears and their salty taste like that.

Something was wrong with his dream.

But that was just the thing, wasn’t it?

This wasn’t a dream.

Nor was it a nightmare, though he usually categorized those into dreams, since they were all he had for a hot minute.

This was real.

A pang of fear washed through him.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

He hated it. He hated all of it.

But it was over now, if that was the last time that would happen.

God, please let it be the last time.

He wanted Marvin.

He needed Marvin.

His own arm splayed off the bed. He was tired. He was so tired. He hadn’t moved since Nathan had left, because all of his arms felt like jello and he felt drugged all over again.

Someone kneeled at his side and cupped his face. It took all of his energy and the hand helping him to turn his head.

Marvin.

Another tear fell down his cheek. That seemed to be happening a lot since this started again.

Since it wasn’t just a dream.

“I didn’t want to…” he breathed, voice raspy. “I really didn’t.”

Marvin’s eyes were red and brimmed with tears. He shushed Whizzer softly. “I know, sweetheart. I know you didn’t.”

“I hate- I want the feeling gone, Marv.” He whispered. “I hate it.”

Nodding, Marvin climbed in next to him and wrapped his arms around his torso. “It’ll be okay, baby. I promise we’ll figure this out, and we can go home, and they’ll never bother us again, okay?”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a while, Marvin slowly combing Whizzer’s hair with his fingers and kissing his temple. “Marv?” Whizzer called, as loudly as he could; a faint whisper.

“What is it, my love?” Marvin asked, watching him and trailing a hand down his cheek.

Whizzer sobbed. “Make it go away.” He murmured, feeling Marvin’s hand lace with his. “Please.”

Marvin bit his lip in concern, cupping Whizzer’s face again with his free hand. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered, slowly leaning their foreheads together.

“Baby, please. I don’t care if I’m hurt. I can’t- I can’t deal with this.”

Slowly, Marvin nodded, pulling the blankets up to their necks and kissing Whizzer softly. “You tell me if I’m hurting you, okay baby?”

Whizzer nodded and let a tear slip away.

It did hurt. A lot. But he didn’t say a word about it, because the feeling he hated oh so much was finally fading, and he would have felt close to normal if he wasn’t in so much pain. Everything hurt by now, but he didn’t say anything, because Marvin would be upset that he didn’t say anything before then. He felt as though he would pass out, but he didn’t tell Marvin that. He would try and wake him up. He needed a distraction to get out of this place.

“I love you.” Marvin whispered, kissing his temple. Whizzer tried to respond, but found that nothing worked, so he just tried to squeeze Marvin’s hand in response. It worked, albeit barely.

Marvin wrapped his arms around Whizzers waist, and Whizzer faced the door because he felt as though he may puke and he’d rather throw up on the floor than on the mattress.

Eventually, he did. Marvin cursed and brought his arms up to Whizzer’s chest, pulling him up and gently kissing his hair. “You alright?” He asked, allowing Whizzer to put most of his weight onto him.

“I’m okay. It's- I’m fine. I’m fine.” He was gasping for air, clutching Marvin’s hand. “I need to- I think I’m gonna again. Gonna go to the bathroom.” He muttered, weakly crawling to the edge of the bed that didn’t have puke covering the floor, slowly standing and collapsing as soon as he let go of the frame.

He heard Marvin curse quietly, then felt him carefully scoop him up. “Do you need me to carry you completely or do you think that you’ll be able to walk like this?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to walk. I’m really sorry.” Whizzer breathed, putting most of his weight into Marvin’s side until he was entirely engulfed in Marvin’s arms and carried to the bathroom. Almost as soon as he was put down, more acid came up from his stomach, giving him a disgusting taste in his mouth that almost seemed sweet. Marvin held him up over the toilet, one hand holding back his hair as he placed his lips on Whizzer’s temple.

Slowly but surely, Whizzer seemed to have nothing left to bring up, and Marvin held him into a standing position so that he could lean over the sink and wash his mouth out. “Good?” Marvin asked, combing a hand through his hair and sitting them down.

Whizzer passed out.

When he woke back up, the lights were back on in the room and his pile had gotten cleaned from the floor. A hand ran through his hair, the back of his hair, because he was back in bed and sideways. He turned on his back and smiled weakly at Marvin, before inhaling sharply and trying—failing— to sit up. Marvin’s eye had purple and black splotches around it. It looked bad. “What happened?” He asked quietly, reaching a shaky hand up to touch Marvin’s cheek, just below the bruise. “That’s… jesus.”

“They came in about an hour ago telling you that you had to wake up and do a test. You had passed out, obviously, and I told them that and one of them hit me. But I’m okay.” Marvin murmured, brushing Whizzer’s hair back. Whizzer leaned into it. “How are you feeling this morning, sweetheart?”

“Sore. And tired.” Whizzer breathed, leaning into Marvin some more and nuzzling into his thigh. “You’re comfortable.” He whispered.

Marvin smiled, stroking his cheek a bit. “I’m glad.” He said, watching as Whizzer fluttered his eyes closed. “How do you put up with all of this?” He asked, and when Whizzer opened his eyes again, he was looking up at the ceiling.

Whizzer shrugged. “I know what’s on the line.” He stated, searching Marvin’s eyes.

“And what is on the line?”

You. You, and I can’t live without you.

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to say.” Whizzer told him instead, glancing down and fiddling with his engagement ring. Thank god he was allowed to keep it. “But- hey, I’ve got this, okay? Don’t try and stop them from doing anything, it’ll just get you in trouble. I can handle whatever they do, I promise. I’ve dealt with it before.”

Hesitantly, Marvin nodded. “You know I love you, sweetheart? I love you so, so much. We’re gonna get out of here. Alive. I don’t know when, or- or how, but surely there’s some way we can get out.”

“I love you too.” Whizzer breathed as the metal doors swung open.

Chapter Text

Marvin held his hand while they slapped Whizzer across the cheek. He held his hand while he was yelled at, and hesitantly let go as they started dragging him across the room until he was seated in a chair. Marvin was escorted out while Nathan stared at him, head tilted.

“Now, Whizzer.” He sighed, walking behind the chair Whizzer was tied to. “I heard that I didn’t dick you down hard enough last night. That you needed a bit more. Needy whore. Maybe I’ll have to try harder next time.”

Whizzer felt nauseous again. Next time.

God dammit.

Nathan huffed out a laugh and clutched Whizzer’s jaw, forcing Whizzer into another kiss. His nausea intensified. He looked at Marvin with fearful eyes as the door opened again and Nathan pulled away.

Dr. Johnson stood at a machine across from him. Whizzer should speak up.

He did.

“Your tests won’t work.” He muttered, looking down. “I’m not… that, anymore.”

He was stared at for a moment. Then, Dr. Johnson grinned. “So it can be cured. Write that down for me, Nathan?”

Whizzer frowned. “Why don’t you just test on him? You've already got him here.”

He received a hard pinch on his shoulder. Whizzer hardly winced.

“Nathan provides the test subjects and writes some stuff down for us. He really is quite handy to have around.”

Nodding, Whizzer looked over at the glass. “Can he hear us in there?” He asked, staring blankly at Marvin, who gave him a supportive smile back.

“No, this room is soundproof. Nobody outside of it can hear a thing. Lucky, too. Wouldn’t want anyone, especially doctors to get suspicious, hm?”

“Hm.” Whizzer hummed quietly, continuing to watch him. “He didn’t do anything wrong, you know. He shouldn’t be here. And you shouldn’t have hurt him because I passed out. Neither of us could control that.”

“He shouldn’t speak unless spoken to.” Dr. Johnson said sternly. “And you shouldn’t be either. I’ll let you off with a pass this time, because it’s been a while and you might’ve forgotten the rules.”

Marvin didn’t know them in the first place.

Who was he kidding? This was all bullshit.

“Permission to speak again?” Whizzer asked blandly, blinking away a few tears.

A few things were wrapped around his arms and a needle poked into his skin. Blood poured out.

“Granted.”

“What am I allowed to tell him? With the rules, and why it’s… important, for me to follow them.”

“You can tell him the rules. Don't tell him why. Let him assume the worst.”

“Yes sir.”

He was silent for the rest of the tests, up until the end where his chest restraint was taken away. “Now, we decided that it’s too difficult to remember everyone’s names, and though you have definitely made an… impression, we’re going to put your room number on your stomach, just in case you need to remember what we call you, sounds good?”

Whizzer grimaced, but nodded. After a moment, the chair fell back and Whizzer was laying down on his back. Nathan caressed his cheek. “This is why I had to tire you, baby. He had to loosen these restraints, and we were nervous you’d do a bit of fighting. This should calm you, and if it doesn’t, we’ll sedate you. But do try to behave. Wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt, now would we?”

A tear found its way to Whizzer’s cheekbone, falling sideways towards his ear. He couldn’t see what’s happening, but something metal gleamed for a moment. He flinched.

Something was pressed into his mouth. Fabric. He could bite down on it.

Another thing—it felt like a scalpel—cut deep into his skin. Whizzer screamed, biting down on the fabric and grabbing the handles of the chair tightly. He couldn’t stop from screaming out in pain, tears streaming his cheeks as he cried. Numbers were etched into his skin, and he wanted more than anything to get away, to fight back, but he got a glance at Marvin and his horrified face and knew he couldn’t. Because Marvin was worth more than anything.

Soon, new wounds stopped appearing, and his restraints were unlocked, the fabric taken away. Whizzer let out a few broken sobs, unable to move. It hurt. It hurt so much.

They left. He thinks it was Marvin who was let in a moment later, who started digging through cabinets. Gauze was wrapped tightly around the wound and Marvin picked him up, allowing him to cry and go limp in his arms.

He was laid carefully in bed, and Marvin sat on the edge of it, breathing quickly and allowing himself to examine Whizzer for a moment.

“Do you think there’s anywhere else that needs to be bandaged or anything?” Marvin asked slowly, gently holding Whizzer’s jaw to guide his eyes to his own.

Whizzer shook his head, letting out shaky breaths and a flow of tears. “It hurts.” He admitted as Marvin wrapped his own hand around Whizzer’s.

“I know, sweetheart. I can try and find you something to ease the pain, but I’m not sure there’ll be anything.” Marvin murmured, brushing Whizzer’s hair back. “Do you want me to look?”

Quickly, Whizzer nodded, tilting his head back and clenching his jaw as a choked, pained sound emitted from his throat. He heard quick footsteps leave the area, before the rustling of shelves and metal.

Marvin looked defeated when he returned, kneeling down and taking Whizzer’s face in his hand, holding Whizzer’s palm with the other. “I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered, leaning their foreheads together. “I couldn’t find any. I’m so sorry.”

Whizzer stared at him for a second, then nodded. “Can I lay in your lap?” He asked weakly, feeling Marvin brush a tear away.

“Of course.” Marvin agreed, standing and moving Whizzer until his head was in his lap, chest steady on his legs, and arms resting on the only good part of his stomach, intertwined with Marvin’s. “Sleep, love.” Marvin whispered, brushing his hands through his hair and breathing steadily. Whizzer removed a hand from their small bundle and rested it on his own heart, closing his eyes to the steady beat that was still there.

He wondered how long it would be until they tried to take it away again.

Jesus.

Chapter Text

Whizzer didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. The pain was too bad. Marvin only dozed off twice, eventually woken again by a small cry or sob or whimper. Whizzer was trying to let him sleep, really, but it was hard to muffle his pained sobs when the pain was that bad.

Still, Marvin held him through the night, kissing under his ear. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Nothing will change how I see you. You’re still sweet, and funny, and everything I’ve ever dreamed to have in a fiancé. I won’t let them take you away from me. I’ll still be here, even if we’re forced into separate rooms. Fuck, I’d let them punch me a thousand more times if it meant you were safe. I love you. I love you so much.”

Whizzer could only sniffle and nuzzle closer, hoping the kiss he landed on Marvin’s abdomen—the easiest place to reach—was enough to tell Marvin everything he was too weak to say.

He seemed to have gotten it.

The metal doors opened, revealing the two people Whizzer was dreading seeing. They let Marvin stay and carry him to the chair, restraints unused. He couldn’t fight anyway. Another scalpel was brought out, slicing a deep X in his inner elbow. Something small and cold was pressed into the cut, then gauze. Whizzer winced. Marvin squeezed his hand.

“I have some fun news for the two of you.” Dr. Johnson said. He sounded as though he was talking to a child. “You’ll have two days to live your normal lives before coming back. Say goodbye to friends and family and such. If you’re lucky, it’ll only be a month or two until you can go home for good! Now, let’s go over a few rules…”

Whizzer zoned out. He could have Marvin repeat it all later, but he couldn’t listen. He was in too much pain, especially with the new indent in his arm.

A hand lay in front of him, two pills in hand. Whizzer suddenly felt nauseous.

“It’s just painkillers, my darling. It’ll help.” Marvin whispered, also handing him a water bottle. Whizzer swallowed the two pills and downed the water, having gone without it for a few days. Marvin undid his bandages, rubbing some sort of clear jelly material onto his wounds, before replacing the gauze wrapped around him and wrapping some around his arm.

Whizzer leaned into him as he was given a moment to adjust, before taking him to try and stand. He almost could. Most likely, he’d be fine by the time he got home.

They were packed into a car, Whizzer between Marvin and the window, which he happily laid on while Marvin massaged his thigh.

He was going home.

Temporarily, but still.

He was going home.

They were taken to the bar they were last at. Marvin’s car still sat in the parking lot. Slowly, Marvin helped Whizzer out of the car, walking him to the passenger seat of his own.

“How’re you feeling, baby?” Marvin asked once he was seated, smiling softly. The car didn’t leave.

“Tired.” Whizzer muttered, leaning back. “I don’t want to sleep.”

Marvin smiled, kissing his temple. “How about we get you home then, yeah?” He offered, caressing his cheek. Whizzer nodded.

Whizzer turned onto his side and grabbed Marvin’s hand, feeling as he slid onto the couch behind him. Marvin’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close to his chest. “So gorgeous.” Marvin whispered, kissing the back of his neck. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Snorting, Whizzer felt a silent tear fall. “For two days. You think they let you stay with me?”

“I don’t think they’d give me the choice to stay here.” Marvin admitted.

“Mm.”

They had made plans to get lunch the next day, since the two of them wanted a lazy morning and to have dinner just the two of them, especially since they would have to leave the restaurant and get into a different car than the one they came in.

Soon, the show they had eventually decided to watch finished, and Marvin made him a quick macaroni dinner, and the two of them sat side by side on the couch. A new show was put on, one they had been procrastinating watching. Whizzer wasn’t paying much attention. All he could think about was what would happen in just a few days.

“Hey.” Marvin murmured, pulling him closer. Whizzer happily leaned into him. “I know you’re scared. It’s gonna be okay, alright? Focus on now. We’ve got a full day tomorrow to just live, and we’re going to enjoy it, okay?”

Whizzer nodded, wiping a stray tear away. “I don’t know how you can always figure out what I’m thinking.”

“It wasn’t that hard to guess this time.” Marvin admitted, kissing his hair. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Whizzer echoed, leaning into the hand that had migrated to his hair, combing through it.

They finished the show and headed to bed, Whizzer only wearing a pair of boxers and his bandages. Marvin handed him a cup of water and two pills. “Some more pain meds.” He explained, slipping into bed next to him.

Whizzer took them, setting his water cup on his nightstand and curling into Marvin. It was silent for a moment.

“Marvin?” Whizzer called quietly, waiting for the small hum of acknowledgment. “I don’t want to die again.” He whispered once it came, letting out a shaky breath. Marvin wrapped his arms tighter around him, allowing Whizzer to nuzzle into his chest.

“I know.” Marvin whispered, kissing his hair. “It won’t be forever, baby. And I’ll be right there with you.”

“But what if it is?” Whizzer asked quietly, blinking back tears. “What if- what if you can’t bring me back this time?”

Marvin didn’t respond for a moment, but Whizzer heard him sniffle a bit. “We will.”

“But what if you can’t?”

“Then I’ll make sure they let you leave, and I’ll make your life as normal as I can.” Marvin told him, holding Whizzer’s head to his chest.

Whizzer sobbed. “I’m scared.”

Instead of reassuring him, Marvin nodded. “I’m scared too, babydoll.” He admitted, kissing his hair again. “Try and get some sleep for me.”

Chapter Text

Whizzer spent another night without sleep.

He just quietly sobbed through it, with Marvin holding him tight, just loose enough to stop it from getting painful. Marvin kissed him, and kissed him, and he almost felt safe, if it weren’t for the dread building in every fiber of his being.

But somehow, at about six in the morning, he fell asleep.

He was awoken by the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate sitting on a tray next to him, with Marvin on the other side reading and running a hand through Whizzers hair. When Marvin noticed he was awake, he grinned and helped Whizzer sit up, putting the tray on his lap and handing him some painkillers, which he took quickly and washed down with the hot chocolate.

“These feel like offerings.” Whizzer laughed as he took a bite, fluttering his eyes closed. He hadn’t had chocolate in a while. “It’s good.”

Marvin smiled, taking Whizzer’s free hand in his own, before getting a mischievous glint in his eye. “Maybe they are offerings, since I may have mistaken you for a Greek god.” Marvin teased, nudging Whizzers shoulder.

“Oh my god, you’re such a nerd!” Whizzer laughed, leaning into him.

Laughing quietly, Marvin buried his face in Whizzer’s hair and kissed it softly. “I need to change your bandages once you’re done eating, okay?” He murmured, kissing his hair again. Whizzer nodded.

He ate a bit slowly, offering some to Marvin and fluttering his eyes closed as he did so. Afterwards, he was sat up on the kitchen table, and Marvin undid his bandages and spread some antibiotics on it, kissing his temple gently and adding some more on the new wraps. It burnt a bit, but he dealt with it, nuzzling into Marvin’s shoulder. Marvin’s hand rested on his head, keeping it there for a moment as they breathed in tandem. There were times he didn’t mind how much he was bleeding. It meant he was alive.

Marvin helped him shower and get into a pair of pants and a button up shirt, an outfit picked out by Whizzer himself, before changing into an outfit of his own.

He was helped into the car, and Marvin drove them to Trina’s for lunch, holding him up by wrapping an arm around his chest as he knocked.

Trina answered the door, smile faltering as he saw how worn out and weak Whizzer looked leaning against Marvin for support. His breathing was admittedly shallow, the small walk from the car enough to entirely wear him out. A few more feet. He’d be fine.

He’s fine.

Marvin helped him to the couch and sat him down, earning an appreciative smile from Whizzer. “Thanks, doll.”

Gently, Marvin leaned down and kissed him, leaning their foreheads together and bringing him in for a hug. “How’re you feeling, kid?” He asked, running his hands through his hair.

“Tired.” Whizzer breathed, fluttering his eyes closed. “This sucks.”

Nodding, Marvin smelled his hair, kissing it. “I know, baby. But you heard what they said. Two months, and it’s all over. We won’t need to worry at all, and you’ll never have to deal with all of this again.”

Whizzer nodded, leaning further into him. After a moment, he opened his eyes, glancing over at the door frame. “Hey there, Jason.” He called weakly, pulling away and smiling.

Jason apprehensively walked in and sat down next to Whizzer. “What’s going on?”

Slowly, Whizzer turned to him, taking a deep breath. “Private stuff, kid. We’re okay, though. You don’t need to worry.”

Nodding, Jason looked down, clenching and unclenching his fist. “You promise?”

Whizzer froze, looking to Marvin. “Yeah.” Marvin murmured, to Whizzer more than to Jason. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

A tear slipped down Whizzer’s cheek, which Marvin quickly, tenderly, wiped away. ‘I love you.’ Whizzer mouthed, smiling when Marvin did the same in response.

A man walked in with the neighbors, showing the two of them where everyone else was. Marvin perked up a bit, turning Whizzer a bit to face the man. “I don’t think you two ever properly met. This is Mendel, he’s Trina’s husband.” He explained. What he presumed used to be a stubborn tone was completely friendly, grateful even. Marvin leaned down to his ear. “He's a psychiatrist. My old one, actually. He’s not very good at his job, and he sounds a bit dumb sometimes, but Trin loves him, so try to be nice, yeah?”

Whizzer snorted, nodding. Marvin sat between him and Jason, and Whizzer shook Mendel's hand, muttering “Whizzer,” as he did so. He then leaned into Marvin, enjoying the comfortable silence in the room until Cordelia gasped.

“Whizzer!” She exclaimed, running over and kneeling in front of him, grabbing his left hand and looking at Marvin. “You did it, dumbass. You finally did it.”

“I did.” Marvin agreed, leaning in to kiss Whizzer on the cheek.

Charlotte was grinning, and Cordelia was screaming, and Marvin was right there with him and he felt happy, and he turned Marvin’s head to kiss him gently, moving his head to nuzzle into his neck afterwards.

“Are you okay, Whizzer? You’ve got blood on your shirt.” Charlotte told him, pointing. Whizzer cursed under his breath.

He nodded. “I got a nosebleed earlier. I loved this shirt, too.” He pouted, slowly standing. “Help me get this stain out, Marv?” He asked, pointing to the bag they brought with his eyes.

Marvin grabbed the bag and went over to him, wrapping an arm around his chest. “Rate your pain for me?”

“Seven.” Whizzer muttered, allowing Marvin to practically drag him to the bathroom and lift him onto the counter.

Marvin unbuttoned his shirt and ran the sink, before undoing his bandages. “Crap.” Marvin sighed. “Part of the wound opened back up.” He explained, putting extra antibiotics onto one part of the new set.

The bathroom door opened.

Silence.

“Whizzer, what the fuck happened to you?” Charlotte asked, staring at his stomach.

He didn’t dare breathe.

Chapter Text

Charlotte ripped the gauze from Marvin’s hand, spreading the antibiotics out. “You’re doing it wrong.” She muttered, wrapping them around his waist. Her eyes wandered to his inner elbow, unwrapping it. She pulled out the gauze inside of the wound, looking a bit nauseous. Whizzer flinched and choked on a pained whimper. “Oh god.” She breathed. “That needs stitches, Whiz.”

“I’m fine.” Whizzer breathed, shaking his head. ”I’m- I’m fine.”

Marvin kissed his forehead, brushing his hair back. “Can you watch him while I get him some water?” He asked, brushing his hair back.

“Course.” Charlotte agreed, nodding for Marvin to go do so.

Whizzer furrowed his eyebrows as Marvin left, looking down at his knees. Charlotte kept trying to talk to him, but it was all things he couldn’t answer. They would know he told.

They always know.

Two hands cupped his face, tilting his face up. Marvin was back. A tear slipped.

Marvin brought him into his arms, kissing his hair. He hadn’t realized how much he was shaking until then. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.” He took out his pain meds and handed them to him. “Here you go.” He whispered, kissing his hair. He backed up as Whizzer took them, checking that the door was closed. “Charlotte, I need you to promise me a few things.”

She nodded, eyes a bit wide.

“Nobody can know about this, okay? Nobody.” He muttered, grabbing her shoulders. He was shaking now, too. “And I’ll need you to use this to pay our rent for a few months.” Quickly, he pulled an envelope out of his bag, full of money Whizzer had helped him divide out recently. “We won’t… be in contact.”

Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows. “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?” She asked softly.

Whizzer shook his head, breath quickening. “No, Marvin, you can’t- I-” Marvin cupped his face, tilting it upwards. “They’ll know, Marvin. They always figure it out, they’ll- they’ll kill you, Marv, they’ll-”

Marvin pushed his lips against Whizzer’s, shushing him as he pulled away. “Quiet, doll.” He whispered. Whizzer could feel a drop of water fall on his head.

“Are you crying?” Whizzer asked softly, pushing a tear of his own away.

“I told you I was scared, darling.” Marvin forced out a laugh. He heard the bathroom door open and close as Charlotte left.

He heard a knock, followed by Trina alerting them that lunch was ready.

Marvin wiped his tears, then Whizzer’s, helping him off of the counter and into the dining room.

Charlotte kept staring at him throughout the meal, but she didn’t mention the numbers etched into his stomach. Whizzer was nearly silent for the entire meal; the only thing that got himself to eat was the fact that today he may have his last meal.

Marvin was massaging his thigh, explaining a fake reason for them being gone for the next few months.

A “silent retreat” was the thing Marvin had come up with, and it was definitely better than anything Whizzer would’ve thought of.

“Marv?” Whizzer murmured, squeezing his hand. “I want to go out and get you a ring before dinner. Sometimes mine is the only thing that can calm me down whenever you’re not with me, and I thought it might make you feel a bit better.”

Nodding, Marvin kissed his forehead. “I love you.” He murmured, reaching a hand up to stroke Whizzer’s cheek.

Whizzer smiled, tilting his head. “I love you too.”

Both Jason and Charlotte were still watching them apprehensively as they had their quiet conversation on the couch, occasionally shifting closer. Of course, the two nosiest people in their little family had to suspect something. Of course.

“So, Whizzer,” Trina started, breaking up the small conversations and menacing glares that were filling up the room. “Marvin did figure out how to do it, then?”

Cracking a smile, Whizzer nodded, before turning to Marvin. “Everyone keeps saying that. How long have you been trying to measure my finger for?” He asked, huffing out a laugh.

“A month.” Cordelia supplied, grinning.

“Two months.” Marvin corrected, his head falling into his hands. “I was scared I would wake you up, and after a month of trying I went to the neighbors, then I came here. I still was scared that I’d wake you up.”

“Honestly, I think the way you did end up getting them worked fairly efficiently.”

“You thought I was cheating on you and left to go stay at a hotel!” Marvin countered, raising his eyebrows.

Whizzer shook his head, raising his eyebrows back. “I went to the neighbors first! I hid in the guest bedroom while you three talked downstairs, and even then I couldn’t get some input.”

Laughing, Marvin looked between the three of them. “You were there the whole time?”

Nodding, Whizzer’s eyes softened. “I asked them not to tell you. I uh- was hoping you’d actually tell them something so that I could figure it out.”

Marvin huffed out a laugh, pulling him closer and kissing his hair softly. “So you were trying to play detective?”

“Maybe a little.”

“You’re a child.”

“And you’re a pussy who can’t put a ring on his boyfriend's finger in the middle of the night. I’ve slept through fires, Marvin. You’ve had to pull a half asleep me from a burning hotel and you thought a ring would wake me up?”

Pausing for a moment, Marvin shrugged. “Yeah?”

Whizzer laughed, exasperated. “You are a strange man, Marvin.”

Marvin kissed him softly, earning a small “ew,” from Jason. Whizzer had forgotten there were other people in the room with them. He turned back and leaned into Marvin’s side.

Later, the two of them found themselves in an engagement ring store, fitting Marvin for a matching ring, before Whizzer convinced the worker to let him engrave it himself.

Not even death can draw us apart, love. -Whizzer

It was a tight fit for the wording, sure, but he made it work. Then, he came back out and slipped it onto Marvin’s finger, kissing his cheek as they walked back out to the car.

“I paid the restaurant owner not to tow our car.” Marvin said, staring out the windshield.

Whizzer nodded. He remained silent, squeezing Marvin’s hand and allowing him to exit the vehicle and help Whizzer out on his side.

“I know you’re scared, baby.” Marvin whispered, holding him close in the parking lot. “But let’s make the most out of dinner, okay?”

“Okay.” Whizzer murmured, drying his tears in Marvin’s shirt.

Chapter Text

The air was tense as they sat silently across from each other.

Whizzer kept picking at his food, downing as much wine as he could, trying to get as drunk as he could. He couldn't do it again. He couldn’t. It almost broke him last time. Maybe the fact that Marvin would be there with him would make it easier. Maybe knowing that nobody would come to get them out of there would make it worse.

“You’re awfully quiet, dear.” Marvin murmured, reaching over and grabbing Whizzer’s hand. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

“I can’t do it, Marv.” Whizzer sobbed, looking up from the spot on his lap he was focusing on. “I can’t do it again. I don't want to die, I never wanted to in the first place, and I just want to live my life with you. I don’t want this.“

Marvin bit his lip, glancing down at his equally untouched food. “I don’t either, my love. They’ll let us go soon enough. It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.“

“I’m scared of what it’ll feel like.” Whizzer admitted, taking another sip of wine. “I had blacked out last time, but I overheard a conversation a few days ago. They’re gonna pump me with adrenaline to try and keep me awake. So that they know exactly how it feels.”

Sucking in a breath, Marvin let out a breathy sob. “I’ll be with you as much as they’ll let me, okay? I promise I’ll try to stay with you.”

Whizzer sobbed as well, pushing his tears away and forcing himself to eat. “Well, if this is the last thing I’m gonna eat until you bring me back to life, I guess I’m supposed to enjoy it, huh?”

Even though it was strained, the smile that came to Marvin calmed him the slightest bit.

They got dessert; they hardly ate any of it. Though, Whizzer tried to eat as much as he could—in the most amount of time possible.

Alas, the restaurant was closing, and Marvin slowly walked Whizzer out and to the car he’d been dreading. “I can’t.” He whispered as Marvin opened the car door, pushing back on his leading hand. “I can’t do it, Marvin, I- oh, fuck!”

An electric shock shot through his body, pain coming with it and making his fingertips tingle. He went limp in Marvin’s arms. A few words he couldn’t make out were exchanged and he was lowered into the car. A look of mixed betrayal and understanding was sent to Marvin as Whizzer blinked a few times, trying to clear his head.

“What was that?” He breathed, chest burning.

Nathan turned back to look at him with a teasing smile. “We had a taser built into that tracker in your arm. Now you have a warning for what happens if you don’t listen, isn’t that nice?”

Whizzer wanted to puke. Instead, Marvin held his face, staring teary eyed at him and pulling him into his arms. “I’m so sorry, love.” He whispered, scratching his scalp and giving it a small kiss. “Just remember that once this is over with, you’ll never deal with it again, okay? You’ll be safe.”

“I’ll be safe.” Whizzer repeated, nuzzling into Marvin’s shoulder. “Safe.”

“Exactly. Just a few more weeks.”

“And then I’m safe.”

“Right. Forever and always, because I swear I’ll do everything in my power to protect you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Whiz.”

Once back in their room, they were allowed one more night of complete privacy, which was mostly spent with Whizzer curled up in Marvin’s arms, sobbing. He saw Marvin shed a few tears as well, but he would never admit it. Marvin’s convinced he’s supposed to be the strong one here. As much as that pained Whizzer, and as much as he wanted Marvin to be vulnerable with him, he needed someone to ground him. And his person was Marvin. Marvin kept him sane.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” Marvin asked quietly after Whizzer had stared silently at his thigh for a while.

“You.” Whizzer murmured blankly, trailing small shapes into Marvin’s thigh. “About how you’re keeping me from going absolutely insane.”

Marvin chuckled, scratching Whizzer’s scalp. “I’m glad I’m here with you. Somehow, having to watch what’s happening to you is better than not knowing whether or not you’re even alive.”

Smiling softly, Whizzer wiped a tear from Marvin’s cheek. “How are you doing?”

“I’m holding up. I can have a breakdown once I know you’re okay. Once you’re safe I’m going to be having the biggest panic attack of my life.”

“Why’s that?”

Shrugging, Marvin studied his eyes as Whizzer turned to lay his head on his thighs to face Marvin. “Right now I’m focusing on you. It's easier to keep my cool when I’m only worried about one person. Someone else. But as soon as I know you’re okay I’ll be trying to figure everything out again and it’ll mess me up, no doubt.”

Whizzer nodded, understanding. One of Marvin's hands slipped under Whizzer’s recently untucked dress shirt, gently running his fingers along his skin. He hummed in approval, before stripping down to his boxers and reattaching himself to Marvin, giving him better access to rub his back.

Marvin’s fingers ran down to the small of his back, before beginning to slowly trail up and down his spine, his free hand connecting with Whizzer’s. “You should get some rest.” Marvin murmured, looking down at him sadly.

Shaking his head, Whizzer nuzzled into him. “I don't want it to be morning yet.” He whispered, throwing a leg to hook over Marvin’s and pulling him closer.

“But tomorrow will be easier if you get some rest, my love. It’ll suck no matter what, but it might feel a bit better to have energy.”

Whizzer groaned, but complied, closing his eyes and letting Marvin’s hand soothe him to sleep.

He had no dreams that night. Only living in the pitch darkness for a moment before morning came.

Marvin shook him awake the next morning. Whizzer’s eyes slowly opened in confusion, and he pulled the blanket up over himself as a hospital gown was tossed at him. “Put that on.” Nathan demanded, staring at him and crossing his arms. After Whizzer didn’t respond for a moment, he raised his eyebrows.

“Aren’t you going to turn around?” Whizzer asked carefully, clutching Marvin’s hand.

Nathan rolled his eyes. “It’s not anything I’ve never seen before. Put the gown on, Whizzer.”

He did as told. For Marvin, he reminded himself as he stood naked and quickly pulled the gown over his head. Marvin lightly touched his leg as he did so.

“Great.” Nathan mumbled, watching as Whizzer sat down. “Don't sit down, dear, we need to start.”

Whizzer’s eyes widened, and he reached for Marvin and clutched his hand. He shook his head. “No.” He muttered, breaths quickening.

“What was that?” Nathan asked slowly. Warningly.

“I’m- I’m not ready- please don’t do it yet. I’m not ready.” Whizzer sobbed, holding onto Marvin’s hand tighter. Nathan rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Whizzer’s waist, dragging him backwards.

He held onto Marvin for as long as he could, whimpering as Nathan put more pressure on his waist, right where his wound was.

Holding hands turned to Whizzer desperately linking his fingers with Marvin’s.

Chapter Text

“No! Marvin, help! Please!” He screamed, wailing as their fingers were ripped away from each other. He just kept screaming. He needed Marvin. He needed Marvin to hold him close and promise him he’d be okay again.

But no. What he got, infact, was a needle jabbed into his thigh, a liquid pouring into him that made him feel like he shouldn’t have slept at all last night. He kept struggling, until two fingers were shoved down his throat and Nathan was breathing down his neck. “This is your last warning, sweetheart.” He whispered, getting Whizzer to fight the urge to puke. “You shut up and stop struggling now, or boy toy gets it.” He hissed, harshly pushing more adrenaline into him. Whizzer whimpered quietly, nodding. Everything was taken away. A few things were hooked up to his arms and chest, and Nathan checked an iPad. They were noting his vitals.

Whizzer wanted to cry.

Two fangs breached the skin of his neck, sucking at some of his blood while some sort of liquid dripped into it. Nathan pulled away. Whizzer fell to the ground and screamed in agony as the door shut, signaling Nathan’s leave.

It burned. Everything around him looked blue, and then he realized that it was because he was glowing blue, every way into his body oozing out a blue goo he could only guess used to be his blood. He twitched, squeezed his eyes shut and went rigid on the ground.

That wasn’t even the worst of it. Along with the burning, every cut or scratch he had felt like it was splitting open, and as he turned his head to the side he saw that they were. The skin near the wound on his elbow cracked and shed more blood, along with the carvings on his stomach. He kept spasming on the ground, going into different rigid positions on the floor.

Whizzer sobbed, twitching as his head fell to the side again and neon blue bloody goo drooled from his mouth. He hated the taste.

A cough wracked his body, and Whizzer turned over and coughed some more up, gasping for air.

His skin was pale, glowing blue veins shining through it. His hair was dry, and his pupils dilated to those of a snake’s. Surely this wasn’t natural.

It hurt. God, it hurt so fucking much. Whizzer whimpered softly, and it quickly turned into another sob.

Yet, despite everything, all he could think about was-

“Marvin?” He breathed, unsure anyone could hear him. He could hardly hear himself. “Marvin, I’m scared.”

No response.

He didn’t listen.

He didn’t listen, and they killed Marvin for it.

A louder sob wracked his body.

Cough.

Spit.

Fall.

He could hear yelling. His door had been propped open?

But he could hear Marvin.

Sweet, caring Marvin.

He heard quick footsteps, and Whizzer’s trembling body was lifted up a bit, and his head was in Marvin’s lap. “Oh, baby.” He whispered. “Oh, baby.”

“Marvin…” Whizzer gasped weakly, and despite having jello for limbs, he wanted to reach up and touch his face.

“I figured out what it is that you’re putting up with this for, I think.” Marvin murmured, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to do this, love.”

“They’ll kill you.” Whizzer countered, shaking his head.

“They already have killed you.”

Whizzer nodded. “Sorry that I don’t look as pretty as I usually do.” He laughed bitterly, leaning into Marvin’s hand.

“I don’t care.” Marvin said immediately. “As long as I’ve got you, I’ll be happy. Or as close to happy as I can be with you feeling like this. I’m so sorry.”

Nuzzling into Marvin’s stomach, Whizzer let in a shaky breath, before turning over and facing the floor.

Cough.

Spit.

Fall.

Marvin wiped something away from his mouth. “How are you feeling, love?”

Whizzer whined softly. “Like I’m splitting in half and getting burned to death at the same time.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Marvin whispered, stroking his face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I was trying so hard to get them to let me in. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“You’re here now.” Whizzer stated, feeling Marvin’s hand lace with his. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Whiz.” Marvin murmured, bringing their hands up to kiss Whizzer’s lightly.

Whizzer grimaced. “I still don’t understand how you can look at me, let alone kiss me like this.”

“You’re beautiful.” Marvin countered, dropping Whizzer’s hand and lifting him up, gently connecting their lips. “You’re always beautiful.”

Whizzer hummed softly, connecting them again and melting into their kiss, sighing. Marvin helped him hook his legs around Marvin’s waist and lean his forehead on his shoulder.

Cough.

Spit.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Whizzer muttered, trying to scrape the goo off of Marvin’s shirt.

“Hey, hey… it’s fine, love.” Marvin whispered, helping him lay back down. “What is that stuff?”

“Blood.” Whizzer breathed, tucking his face into the crook of Marvin’s neck. “It tastes like acid.”

Marvin nodded, kissing his hair. “I’m sure it does, doll.”

“Hold me?”

“Always.”

Marvin cradled him in his arms, not caring what got on him or whether or not this was allowed.

“I’m so cold.” Whizzer murmured. The fact he was throwing up all the blood in his body was probably why.

Kissing his hair, Marvin squeezed him. “I’m sure you are. Do you want my jacket, love?”

Whizzer nodded, exhaling heavily as it was wrapped around him. “Thanks.” He whispered, tucking his face into Marvin’s shoulder again. “I don’t- I don’t know why I look like this.” Whizzer admitted, breathing shakily.

“You’re beautiful.” Marvin assured him, tilting his head up and kissing him. Whizzer sobbed as he leaned into it, clutching Marvin’s jacket with one hand and hooking the other around his neck.

“I love you.” Whizzer breathed, sobbing quietly and muffling the rest in Marvin’s shirt.

“I love you too, gorgeous.” Marvin kissed his hair, holding him close. Slowly, he rocked them back and forth until Whizzer had stopped saying anything, just letting out small cries of pain and occasionally bending over to cough or puke up acidy blue blood.

Chapter Text

Marvin had moved them to bed after a while. Whizzer lay on his chest, a bit of blood on his cheek from when he tried to wipe it off of his mouth, instead just spreading it. Marvin’s hand was threading through his hair, scratching his scalp.

He felt so weak.

It hurt so bad still.

He just wanted the pain to be over.

The metal doors to his cell opened, and Whizzer chose to bury his face in Marvin’s chest. He refused to look at anyone.

Something was handed to Marvin. “This should make him feel better. We’ll be giving him one at each meal for the next few days until he’s healthy, then start the next experiment.” Dr. Johnson whispered. He almost sounded… sympathetic. It made Whizzer feel sick again.

Marvin shook his shoulder, and Whizzer looked up at him, tears still brimming his eyes. “You got a present.” Marvin laughed humorlessly. “They said it should help you feel better.”

Whizzer shook his head. “I don’t want anything they give me.” He muttered, sitting up and bringing his knees to his chest.

“Baby…” Marvin whispered, crawling over and holding an arm around Whizzer’s shoulders. “I want you to feel better.”

He huffed and looked away. “No.”

Gently, Marvin took his jaw in hand and had Whizzer look at him again. “Can you please do this for me?”

He shook his head again.

Marvin watched him for a moment. “Then take mine.”

Whizzer whipped around and stared at him. “What? No, Marvin! I’m not risking that.”

“Then drink this!” Marvin exclaimed, standing. “Drink this, or me, I don’t care, just drink something!”

Watching him carefully, eyes wide, Whizzer clenched his jaw. “You’re scaring me.” He whispered.

“And you’re scaring me.” Marvin breathed back, a tear falling. He promptly wiped it away. His demeanor was softer now, along with his voice. “Please, baby.”

Whizzer sobbed. “Fine.” He muttered. He was really fucking hungry. And he really just wanted the pain to stop.

He held out his hand, waiting for Marvin to drop the blood packet into his hand.

“How sweet, they gave me a straw.” Whizzer laughed sarcastically as Marvin also handed him that.

Marvin smiled, sitting down next to them. “Hey, I think that’s a fair trade. Years of torment for one plastic straw.”

Laughing, Whizzer leaned into him. “I mean, what else would I want?”

Slowly, Marvin wrapped an arm around his waist from behind, sitting quietly until the door opened again and they came to bring Marvin a sandwich and a water bottle.

“Damn.” Whizzer sighed as they left. “I guess you’re not deserving enough of a straw.”

Marvin shrugged. “I haven’t made a good enough trade yet, I guess.”

Whizzer kept sucking on the straw, taking a deep breath as both his hunger and most of his pain ceased. “At least drinking this worked.” He murmured, placing the finished pack aside.

“I’m sorry.” Marvin whispered, kissing his hair as Whizzer leaned in and he grasped the side of his head. “I shouldn’t have pressured you. It was just really hard to watch you stay in pain when the cure to it was in my hand.”

Nodding, Whizzer exhaled slowly. “How much longer?” He asked.

“Sixty one more days. I’ll keep track for you.”

“That seems so long.” Whizzer murmured, staring straight ahead.

“I know.” Marvin sighed. “Just remember how many days without this are ahead of you once it’s all over.”

“A lot more than sixty one, I would hope.” Whizzer laughed breathily.

“An ungodly amount more.” Marvin promised, turning Whizzer’s body to hold him close. “If it means anything to you, which I’m fairly sure it will, you’re starting to look a bit more like you used to. I’m sure how you used to look will come back in no time.”

“That does mean a lot.” Whizzer murmured. “Thank you.”

Marvin nodded, stroking his hair. “How are you feeling, my love?”

Shrugging, Whizzer leaned his head down. “My head still hurts.” He breathed, leaning into him. “And I’m nauseous.”

“Hm.” Marvin hummed, before bringing a hand up to tap his head “And how are you feeling up here?”

“A headache.”

“You know what I mean, doll.”

Whizzer was silent for a moment. “Afraid?”

“Of what?”

“Me? Them? Everyone? I don’t know, Marv. Maybe that’s what I’m scared of.” He whispered, leaning into Marvin’s embrace.

“Not knowing?” Marvin asked.

“Mhm.”

Marvin nodded. “Do you feel safe with me?”

Looking up at him with fear in his eyes, Whizzer sobbed. “I want to, but I’m still scared. I don’t want to be scared of you. I really don’t. Why am I scared of you, Marvin?” He asked, taking a shaky breath and slowly pulling away, scooting into a corner and holding his head.

He sobbed, beginning to tremble. “How do I fix it?” Whizzer rephrased.

Horrified, Marvin opened his mouth but failed to speak, opting to close it again. He kneeled on the ground in front of the bed, reaching out to Whizzer on the mattress above him. He went to hold his hand, and Whizzer flinched.

“Don’t.” He breathed, scooting away. “I want you to, but I can’t. Why- why can’t I hold your hand? Why am I scared of holding your hand?”

Tears swam down his face. He couldn’t breathe anymore. He needed Marvin to hold him; he needed him to be as far away from him as possible.

“I don’t know.” Marvin whispered, slowly placing his hand palm up on the bed in case Whizzer changed his mind. “But I’m sure it won’t last long. You just lost and regained a lot of blood in just a few hours. Your body’s probably adjusting to it.”

“Yeah?”

“I think so, yeah.” Marvin murmured soothingly.

Whizzer laced his hand with Marvin’s.

Marvin smiled softly, asking permission before gently thumbing over his knuckles. “I’m here for you, okay? I don’t have the answer, but you tell me if you need someone to talk to, or someone to talk to you. I’m here. Always.”

The doors opened; Whizzer jerked away from Marvin and made himself hold his back to the wall. Marvin stood in front of him, taking a shaky breath.

Because he knew that even though he tried to hide it, Marvin was almost as scared as he was.

Chapter Text

Whizzer couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, even though they were right in front of him. His ears were too clouded with the blood rushing to them; he would’ve been able to hear his heartbeat if he still had the pleasure of having one.

Marvin yelled back.

A mix of shock and anger mixed in the air.

Something was snarled at his lover.

Marvin punched Nathan.

Both Nathan and Dr. Johnson lunged at Marvin.

“No!” Whizzer screamed, pushing Marvin behind him and getting pushed to the ground himself, punched in the face a few times before Nathan was dragged off of him. He looked sideways at Marvin, leaning against the wall in shock from the force. Whizzer was shocked too. He pushed him hard. He didn’t know he had the strength to do that.

But he was being gently helped back up by Marvin now, his lover carefully watching both Nathan and Dr. Johnson. As Whizzer did the same, Marvin turned to examine him, brushing his head with the pad of his thumb. “You’re bleeding.” He whispered, moving stray hairs away from the area.

“I can hardly feel it, Marv. I’m fine.” He muttered, tightly holding Marvin’s shoulder. It was true. His pain receptors weren’t doing their job right now. But he could feel himself growing weaker, and he could feel the blood flow down his face.

Whizzer pulled Marvin to his chest, hugging around his shoulders and kissing his hair, not taking his eyes off of the people across the room. “Are you okay?” He asked, blinking back a few dark spots in his vision.

“I am.” Marvin said, placing his hand over one of Whizzer’s. “It felt nice to punch that son of a bitch.”

Laughing weakly, Whizzer put more of his weight onto Marvin. The lack of blood in his system was getting painful again.

Dr. Johnson cleared his throat. “Marvin, I said that you need to come with us.”

Marvin went to respond, but was cut off. “No. No, he’s not going anywhere.” Whizzer countered, clutching him tighter. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for acting up earlier. Just- please.”

They knew what he was asking. Marvin surely knew, but he didn’t voice it; he wasn’t supposed to know.

Nathan walked over and grabbed Marvin by the hair and yanked him forward while lightly pushing Whizzer. It made him nervous how much that little push did to him. But Marvin was being dragged away, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“No-” he sobbed, running over and running into the door as they closed on him. “Marvin, no!”

He was screaming now, overwhelmed and terrified and guilty. His love. No.

They’re killing him. They’re probably killing him right now.

A bright screen lit on the wall behind him.

Marvin was being strapped into one of the chairs Whizzer usually was put into for tests.

He looked horrified, watching something off camera. Whizzer watched as his head turned and he forced a smile. One Whizzer could only describe him trying to reason with whoever was there.

Whatever was there.

“You don’t have to show this happening, y’know.” Marvin offered, forcing a smile. “He gets the point. He’s seen enough, you don’t have to make him watch.”

A grunt. “He can look away at any time. The only thing we’re forcing him to do is hear it.”

Marvin exhaled shakily. “Are you gonna kill me?” He asked, blinking away tears.

No verbal response.

Marvin nodded hesitantly, staring downwards. A vein bulged in his neck. It was obvious he was biting back a sob.

“I love you.” Whizzer breathed, walking over to the screen and placing a hand over Marvin’s. He received no response. He continued anyway. “I’m sorry, Marvin. I’m so sorry. This isn’t fair, you don’t deserve this.”

Again, no response.

No acknowledgment.

Marvin twisted the engagement ring off of his ringer and read it, laughing through a sob and smiling softly as he slipped it back on.

He looked at the camera, sobbing. “I love you.” He half whispered, half mouthed. Not all the syllables made it past his mouth, but he’s seen Marvin’s lips repeat that phrase enough times to know what he was saying. Whizzer sobbed, too.

Just then, the chair spun around, and Marvin was forced to lean as far forward as he could.

A knife was taken out. As a letter was carved into his back, Marvin whimpered, sweat beginning to coat his skin. Whizzer felt nauseous.

The final words carved into his skin made the feeling so much worse.

It’s your fault.

Whizzer knew it was directed at himself. He clenched his jaw.

A deep cut through his stomach made Marvin scream. Whizzer forced himself to look away and fought the urge to puke. “Oh, love…” he whispered, sobbing into his hand. “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m sorry I can’t stop it.”

He grabbed his bed frame and caught his breath, before raising his voice. “I’ll do anything to stop this. Please, just stop.”

It didn’t stop. He buried his head in a pillow and screamed, trying to drown out Marvin’s cries for help. Trying to drown out every scream, whimper, or plead. It hurt too much to hear.

Whizzer punched his mattress. He flailed, punching the wall, kicking the floor, trashing the room, having given up on getting them to stop and just ruining things out of anger. They had nothing stopping him from ruining every little thing they did; were trying to do. He punched the door until his first was bleeding and there were dents in it.

He kept doing it until he fell on the floor, too weak to move.

Instead, he let broken sobs wrack his body.

He vowed not to eat. Not to do anything they asked, to just try and wait until he ran out of blood and died for good. He would let the blood choke him to death this time, there would be no surgery, nobody to scream at Charlotte that he was dying.

Nobody.

He’d never see anyone he loved again.

The screen flickered to black.

Chapter Text

He lay there until the door opened and he was pushed by it, moving him to lay behind the open door until it closed. Dr. Johnson examined the room, a frown growing.

Dr. Johnson met his eyes and raised an eyebrow. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting something rebellious after that. I’m not sure whether to be impressed that you did this much damage or disappointed that you decided to be a brat.”

Whizzer just stared at him, a tear falling down his cheek.

“You know I couldn’t have let that go, Whizzer. I’m sorry it had to happen, I really am. He seemed like a real good man.”

Despite wanting to scream at him for killing a father, Whizzer just kept staring. He didn’t seem to know Marvin had a kid. Whizzer wanted to protect him now.

God, how’s Jason going to take this?

If he manages to get out of here, he’ll need to be the one to tell him.

How would he be able to tell him?

Dr. Johnson kneeled down, handing him a packet of blood. Whizzer didn’t take it; he looked at the wall behind him. “Take it, Whizzer.”

“You can’t make me.” Whizzer murmured, closing his eyes in the effort.

Frowning, Dr. Johnson picked him up, bringing him to bed and putting the blood on the table next to him. “You’ll drink this if you know what’s good for you.” He stated, before leaving the room.

Marvin’s jacket was still on the bed. Other than his ring, it was probably the only thing he had left of his lover. Slowly, Whizzer slipped it on, taking a few breaks, and zipped it up. He curled into a ball with the jacket tight around him, sniffling. He wanted him back. He’d do anything.

He just wanted his lover back.

And he would get that soon.

As soon as he starved and choked to death.

He’ll see Marvin soon.

Whizzer refused to drink the blood, or anything they tried to give him in the future.

Two weeks passed. They had forced him into the chair, put things Whizzer couldn’t identify into his body, yelled at him, hit him, all trying to get him to do as told.

He would not.

After the first week, Whizzer went on a vow of silence, going limp wherever they ended up dropping him that day and staying there until the next. Sometimes he would just stay in the chair. He wouldn’t speak. He wouldn’t eat. He wouldn’t acknowledge them at all. It didn’t matter. They had nothing to hold against him now.

They had taken away the only thing that would get him to behave.

Another couple of weeks went by. Whizzer was close to dying now, he could feel it. If he didn’t tonight, he would tomorrow.

And then he would see his love again.

The metal doors opened. They had the decency of carrying him to bed the day before. Even so, he didn’t turn to them.

A chair was brought to his bedside, and a calloused hand ran through his hair. Not a glove. A hand. One he recognized all too well.

“Hey, baby.” Marvin whispered.

Whizzer exhaled, but didn’t look. Marvin was dead. Either he was hallucinating, or he had already begun to choke and Marvin’s ghost was helping him through it. Either way, he didn’t want to break the illusion. He leaned into the hand.

There was a bit of silence, then Marvin grabbed his hand, along with continuing to comb through his hair. “It’s okay. I’m here now, my love.” He murmured, leaning his head down to nuzzle into Whizzer’s hair, breathing it in. “You’ve lost the smell of your shampoo.” He teased, chuckling softly. When Whizzer had no response, he paused. “Can you look at me, baby?”

No.

He’ll disappear.

Whizzer shook his head.

“You know I don’t care what you look like.”

“I don’t want you to disappear again.” Whizzer breathed, voice hoarse. It was the first he’d said in a near month. “I can’t- Marvin, am I dying? Please tell me that I’m dying, I want to be together again.”

It hit him, then, that admitting that it wasn’t real, that Marvin wasn’t alive, could make Marvin disappear again. He quickly turned and grasped his wrist, breathing in sharply at both the effort and the fact that Marvin was staring sadly back at him.

“I’m real, love. I’m real and alive.” Marvin promised, gently cupping his face. “It was just another test. They patched me back up after that video cut off, okay? You’re okay. I’m okay. I’m here.”

Whizzer shook his head, burying it in Marvin’s thigh. He couldn’t bring himself to speak again, but Marvin wasn’t there. It was too good to be real. He was dying, and his mind was fucking with him.

Marvin lifted him up and held a blood packet in front of him. “Drink some of this for me.” He whispered. Whizzer used his remaining energy to back away and turn over. He faced away from Marvin.

He wouldn’t. It was his body wanting him too; maybe it’s really Dr. Johnson or god forbid Nathan that he’s wishing so bad was his lover that he thought they were. Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Say something.” Marvin whispered. “Please.”

Whizzer didn’t.

Instead of barging in the next day, Dr. Johnson knocked. “Marvin” went to answer the door, and Whizzer brought his knees up to his chest.

Marvin held his hand and carried him over to the chair today. He didn’t leave. He kneeled at his side, talking to him, pausing. Maybe hoping Whizzer would respond.

Dr. Johnson watched them both solemnly. “I think you’ve noticed that if you keep rejecting food, you’re most likely going to die tonight, Whizzer.”

He said nothing, just giving a weak nod.

“We thought ending the test would get you to eat, or say something. We’ve brought Marvin back to you. What else do you want?”

Marvin wiped a tear away. “He doesn’t think I’m real.” He whispered, pressing his lips to Whizzer’s temple.

Dr. Johnson nodded. “Would you like to see the rest of the video, Whizzer?”

Slowly, he agreed.

All the things that broke him last time were skipped through. Instead, he saw the knife being carefully taken out, and the wounds fixed with pressure and gauze. He saw Marvin out on oxygen machines and an IV.

He saw Marvin alive.

“Talk to me, Whizzer.” Marvin murmured, sobbing quietly. “Please, just say something.”

Whizzer looked over, grabbing Marvin’s hand as tightly as he could. “Marvin…” he gasped, clutching his hand.

“Will you eat something now, Whizzer?” Dr. Johnson asked, offering him a packet.

Whizzer nodded and took it slowly.

Chapter Text

It took one packet for him to stop feeling as though he would die at any second.

Two until he could move around in his chair; sitting up, pulling Marvin into a tight hug.

Three packets until he could walk.

Four packets to make him feel the slightest bit normal.

He walked to bed, where he asked Marvin to hold him. Marvin did, clutching him tightly to his chest. Dr. Johnson left. Whizzer cried.

“I thought- I thought I was gonna turn around and you wouldn’t be there, and I’d be alone.” He sobbed, arms around Marvin’s neck. “I was so scared your voice and hands would disappear.”

Marvin nodded, shushing him gently. “It's okay. I’m here.” He murmured, rubbing Whizzer’s back. “I’m here.”

Whizzer fisted his hands in Marvin’s shirt. “I wanted to die.” He admitted, sniffing. “I wanted to die so that I could see you again.”

Slowly, Marvin kissed his head. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

“Part of me still wishes I was dead. I would rather die than keep dealing with this.”

He was held tighter. “I need you to keep going for me, Whizzer. It’ll be over soon.”

“I’m not sure why they wanted to make me healthy again if they’re gonna starve me anyway.”

“I love you, baby.”

“I hate this. I love you. Please just take me home.”

“You know I would if I could.” Marvin whispered. “You know it.”

Whizzer was silent for a moment. “Did you know they weren’t going to kill you?”

“No. I asked and Nathan said that he was going to let me die.” He murmured. Whizzer relaxed against him.

“I trashed the place.” Whizzer told him. “See those dents in the door?”

Marvin nodded. “Did you make those?”

“I ran out of things to knock over. Started running into the door at full force until I lost too much energy and just fell to the ground. You should have seen it. I covered the whole floor.” Whizzer sighed, smiling proudly.

“Did you have to clean it up?”

“Nope. I stopped talking and eating and doing what they asked in general. They were pissed.”

Marvin smiled at him. “That was really brave.” He murmured.

“I didn’t think I had anything to behave for anyway.”

Nodding, Marvin brushed his hair back with his fingers and continued to smile gently. “It was still braver than anything I could do.”

“You punched Nathan.”

“And you fought harder than I’ve ever seen you fight.”

Whizzer went quiet, melting into Marvin and sighing at the warm hand rubbing his back. “I’m sorry that I don’t want to live.”

Shaking his head quickly, Marvin tilted Whizzer’s head to look at him. “Don’t be sorry, my love. Don’t. It’s not your fault the world is like this.” He murmured, leaning their foreheads together. “But you tell me how I can make it better, and I’ll try my damned hardest to do it. Because I love you. I love you so much.”

With watery eyes, Whizzer kissed Marvin gently and nuzzled back into him. “I love you too.”

“I’m worried that I’ll lose you.”

Whizzer nodded. “I’m worried too. What if- what if I just die this time?”

Quickly, Marvin exhaled with a throaty sob. “You won’t. I’ll make sure you get to the hospital. I’ll be sure of it.” Marvin swore, threading his hand through the hair at the top of Whizzer’s head, combing them through until he reached the back. He rested his hand there and silently cried into Whizzer’s hair. “I’m not letting go, Whizzer.”

“Okay.” Whizzer breathed, nuzzling closer to him. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Marvin echoed, kissing his scalp. “We’re okay.”

“We are.” Whizzer murmured. He tried to sound sure of himself. All Marvin was doing was reassuring him, but everytime he does, he’s probably making himself more nervous. Marvin needs someone to reassure him, too.

And Whizzer would be that someone any time.

“Whizzer?” Marvin asked quietly, hand slipping a bit. “Promise that when this is all over, you won’t make it all for nothing. Promise you won’t try to kill yourself.”

Slowly, Whizzer climbed off of Marvin and tugged his fiancé to his chest, wrapping his arms around him and switching their positions. “I won’t.”

“Promise.”

“I promise I won’t.” Whizzer whispered in his ear.

Marvin sobbed quietly. “I’m sorry. I should be comforting you, not the other way around.”

“No. You need comfort too. And you can cry, Marvin. You don’t need to pretend you aren’t. I’m right here, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Hesitantly, Marvin leaned further into him. For a moment, there was silence other than the quiet sounds of breathing.

And then, a gentle sob.

And another.

Marvin began shaking.

Whizzer rubbed his back and kissed his hair, humming quietly to him.

Clutching onto him, Marvin let tears soak Whizzer’s shirt, along with his own face. Whizzer had never seen him really cry. He’s seen him shed tears. He’s seen him wipe them away after Whizzer gets home, if he’s had a long night. He’s seen him cry silently while Whizzer broke down in his arms, still refusing to let his voice crack too much.

But never has he seen him truly, effectively cry.

Marvin sobbed into him, muffling the noise in his chest. Whizzer slowly turned his head so that he could breathe and covered it protectively with his hand, letting it splay out on Marvin’s cheek.

Whizzer didn’t thank him for being vulnerable. He might later, or at least mention it, but he didn’t want Marvin to shut down on him; not when they’ve made it this far.

“That’s it, love.” Whizzer murmured, tightening the arm around his back and upper arms, kissing his hair. “Just let it all out. I’ve got you.”

Covering Whizzer’s ears with his own hands, Marvin screamed at the top of his lungs, before burying himself further into Whizzer’s chest.

Hugging him tighter with one arm, Whizzer ran his other along Marvin’s exposed skin, massaging a spot a bit whenever Marvin leaned further into his hand.

”I’ve got you, my love.” Whizzer whispered, kissing his hair. “I’m not letting go, either.”

Chapter Text

It took nearly thirty minutes for Marvin’s loud sobs to turn into small hiccups, and for him to stop trembling. Whizzer kept rubbing his back a bit longer before speaking up again.

“How’re you feeling, sweetheart?” He asked gently, smiling with a matching tone as Marvin looked up at him.

“Tired.” Marvin whispered, melting into him. “Crying takes a lot of energy.”

Whizzer laughed silently, a puff of air out of his nose being the only noise it made. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

“Thank you.” Marvin whispered, breathing Whizzer in. “That… felt nice to do. I mean, not nice, but I feel lighter now.”

Nodding, Whizzer leaned down to touch their foreheads together. “I’m glad it helped. How about you get some sleep, hm? It’s getting late.”

“But I don’t want you to get bored.” Marvin murmured, already halfway asleep.

“Sleep.”

Marvin was snoring within a few minutes.

Whizzer played with his hair, watching—and feeling—him peacefully breathe. He pulled the blankets up to cover Marvin and smiled, fluttering his eyes closed and pretending, just for a moment, that he could sleep too.

Apparently, Marvin started sleep talking since the last time Whizzer stayed awake all night, every night. He kept whispering Whizzer’s name and running his hand along part of his body, and it was a bit adorable.

The next morning, Marvin slowly lifted himself awake, smiling up at Whizzer and snuggling further into his arms. “You’re comfy.” Marvin sighed, cupping the side of Whizzer’s face and pulling him down for a kiss. “I love you.” He breathed against his lips, pecking them again before moving to lay his head down.

“I love you too.” Whizzer laughed breathily, wrapping an arm loosely around Marvin’s waist. “How are you feeling this morning?”

Marvin thought about it for a second, before smiling. “Good. Better than last night. I should cry more often.”

Nodding, Whizzer tamed his hair with his fingers. “That’s good. And yeah, you should. It’s healthy for you to cry sometimes. It makes you human. It doesn’t always have to be you comforting me, love.”

“Crying in front of you was a bit scary.” Marvin admitted. “Once I really started, though, I just wanted to feel my emotions.”

“I’m glad you were okay with being vulnerable with me. I want to be a safe person for you.”

Marvin nodded. “You’re my safest person.” He whispered, threading their fingers together.

“And you’re mine.” Whizzer confirmed, smiling softly at Marvin and cupping his face to thumb at his cheek.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to talk too in depth about it though. What I was crying about, I mean. It was just- everything. Everything’s a mess, Whizzer.”

Whizzer nodded in agreement. “It is, isn’t it?”

Marvin let out a small sob and nodded again.

“Just remember how I messed up their stuff back. It may not be the revenge we want, but it’s what I could manage.” He murmured, holding Marvin close.

“They deserve so much worse.”

“They do. They really do.”

“Mhm.”

Whizzer tugged Marvin closer and wrapped his arms around him protectively.

After a few days, he was finally feeling healthy again. He walked around his room, messed around with Marvin when the whitewashed walls began to make him feel insane. Tag became a recurring game between the two of them, since crying and cuddling just wasn’t cutting it anymore. They would do those things too, but it was becoming an endless cycle and Whizzer hated endless cycles, because if he might die in a month he wants to live while he can, and god dammit!

The metal doors opened, and Whizzer looked up from his place in Marvin’s arms. He felt sick as soon as he saw them. Marvin tightened his arms and kissed Whizzer’s hair. “It's okay.” Marvin whispered, voice cracking subtly.

Whizzer nodded, leaning further into him. “Don't fight them if they need to drug me cause I don’t want to go. Cause I don’t. I don’t want to go.”

Slowly, Marvin whispered “alright” in his ear. It was comforting, his presence. It was perfect.

Nathan wasn’t with him. That meant only one of, or neither of them was getting taken away. Not this time. Dr. Johnson pulled a chair up and smiled.

“Your time here is almost up.” He stated, looking between the two of them. “I think you know what that means, Whizzer.”

Whizzer couldn’t speak. He just stared at the wall, nodding.

“And you know our building is thirty minutes away from any hospitals? That means we might not make it in time for you to get your surgery.”

He clenched his jaw. “You don’t have to remind me that I probably won’t survive this. I already know. Just attach me to those dumb machines and leave me to die, okay? Okay.”

Scooting up, Whizzer wrapped the thin blanket around his waist and pulled his scrubs off, giving them access to his chest. Giving them access to his vitals. Marvin clutched his free hand as things were hooked up to his other. Things were hooked up to his chest and stomach, a few on his head. It seemed every organ had a thing or two monitoring it. Whizzer looked off to the side, staring at the wall and frowning.

His scrubs were placed in his lap as Dr. Johnson left the room, and Marvin pulled them back on, leading his arms through the holes that hardly passed for sleeves.

“Come here, love.” Marvin murmured, pulling him closer. “It’ll be okay.”

“It hurts.” Whizzer stated, breathing raggedly. He looked pleadingly over at Marvin; he knew there was nothing he could do.

Marvin kissed his temple, holding him closer. “I know, I know.”

“I hate this.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

After a pause where Marvin just looked at him, holding back a sob, Marvin whispered back, “I love you too.”

Whizzer leaned into his shoulder and closed his eyes. He knew he couldn’t sleep, but he deserves to pretend he was slowly drifting off, right? He needed this. He needed Marvin to hold him close and hum in his ear. He needed Marvin to help him ‘sleep.’

“You can rest for a bit.” Marvin whispered. “I’ve got you.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice.

Chapter Text

It took two weeks until Whizzer could really feel the exhaustion. He slowly walked across the room after a quick evaluation, steadying himself the best he could, until-

“Jesus!”

Marvin caught him in his fall, walking him the rest of the way before helping him catch his breath.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Marvin asked, kneeling in front of him and holding his arms.

Whizzer nodded slowly, fluttering his eyes closed. “Tired.” He murmured, leaning into Marvin’s side as he joined him on the bed.

“Okay.” Marvin whispered, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his hair, keeping his lips there for a moment. “Let me know if you need anything, okay? Just relax for a bit.”

“Mhm.” Whizzer hummed, letting Marvin help him onto his back and kiss his forehead while wrapping the blankets around him. God, Marvin made this so much easier to handle. It was nice to have someone take care of him when he was like this.

Curling around him, Marvin brushed his hair back and held him close, kissing his temple. “I love you, sweetheart.” Marvin murmured.

“Love you, Marv…” Whizzer replied as best he could, trailing off at the end of his lover's name. Marvin didn’t seem to mind.

Another two weeks, and he could hardly move.

“It's time for your evaluation, Whizzer.” Dr. Johnson called, and he could hear him mess with a few things near his chair. He heavily moved his head, silently pleading for Marvin to help him over. He understood. Marvin picked him up, carrying him bridal style to his chair and settling him in. Restraints were never used anymore. Whizzer couldn’t do more than the restraints would let him anyway. They didn’t need to keep him still, so why use them?

“Can Marvin stay here?” Whizzer asked, as he did at the beginning of every evaluation. Every time, the answer was no.

“I don’t see why not.” Dr. Johnson said, patting Marvin on the back. “Stand at the back of the chair though, yeah?”

Marvin nodded quickly, walking where instructed and holding one of Whizzer’s hands, his arm bent upwards to reach him. Whizzers arm would get tired. He could deal with it. He had Marvin.

Once they were back in bed, Whizzer had to practically force him to go to sleep.

“I don’t want you to die while I’m asleep. I’m worried, Whiz.”

Whizzer smiled, shaking his head. “I don’t feel even close to as bad as I did when I died last time, or when I almost did a few weeks ago. I’m fine. Trust me.”

Marvin took a deep breath. “I trust you, love.”

“Then sleep.”

One more week, and he couldn’t move at all. His eyes could hardly stay open. Marvin would carry him everywhere, and cuddle with him, and sing to him, and even read to him once he found a book in a drawer.

Marvin kissed his hair as he brushed it, which had gotten rather difficult since Whizzer couldn’t do anything more than lean on him anymore. But he would make do.

Whizzer coughed a bit, and a splotch of red landed on his hand. The metal doors swung open and a stretcher was quickly brought in.

He passed out.

~

Marvin grabbed Whizzer’s limp body and helped him onto the stretcher, breath picking up as they pulled him into an ambulance.

“Give me a phone!” Marvin called, reaching his hand out. He was given a suspicious glare. “I’m keeping him alive, god dammit! Give me a fucking phone!”

One was placed into his hand, and he quickly dialed Charlotte's number.

Luckily, she answered.

“Char, I need you to get to the hospital and get a room ready for throat surgery within thirty minutes, can you do that?” He asked, hearing shuffling on the other end.

“I’m heading to my car, Marvin. What’s going on?”

Marvin grasped Whizzer’s face and turned him on his side. “How can I help someone who’s choking on their own blood?”

Charlotte paused. “Marvin, what’s happening?”

“Remember when Whizzer woke up choking on his own blood, and he needed surgery? That’s happening, but this time I’m thirty minutes away from the ER. Now tell me what to do.”

“Okay. Marvin, is he laying down?”

“Yes.”

“Turn him on his side.”

“I have.”

Charlotte was yelling something to someone on the other side. “That’s good. Okay, Marvin, do you have a cotton ball?”

Marvin turned to the group of people in the ambulance, holding out his hand. One was placed into it. “I do.” He confirmed, holding Whizzer steady as he twitched from a lack of oxygen.

“Great. Put it into the back of his throat and swipe up. Try to get some of the blood out. Be careful, don’t make him vomit. And do not drop it. You hear me?”

“I hear you.” Marvin murmured, focusing entirely on doing what was asked of him. He got a clump of blood out, and Whizzer’s breathing seemed to improve greatly. “I did it.” Marvin sighed, touching Whizzer’s hair and keeping it out of his face.

“Good.” Charlotte said, letting out a breathy laugh. “They’re setting up the operation room now. He’ll be okay, Marvin. I’m sure of it. How far are you?”

“About five minutes.” Marvin whispered, carefully touching Whizzer’s face and hair. “Do you think you could pull a few strings? Let me into the observation room? I’m just…” he glanced at Nathan. “I don’t want to leave him alone for too long.”

Charlotte didn’t respond for a moment. “I’ll see what I can do.” She promised, before hanging up the phone.

They were silent until they got there, where Whizzer was quickly brought into the building and wheeled away.

He was then hurriedly led further into the building by Charlotte, who brought him into the room and sat down next to him. “Hey, Marvin.” She murmured, rubbing his shoulder. “Can you talk to me about what happened?”

“I think you know what happened, Charlotte.” Marvin whispered. He watched as Whizzers scrubs were taken off, and his scar with his room numbers showed. They were infected.

There were whispers, and Charlotte squeezed his hand. “You never did tell me how those got there.”

Marvin looked down. “It's almost funny.” He breathed. “They claimed they were gonna start calling him by his room number. They didn’t. They carved his room number into his skin for nothing.” He sobbed a bit, voice cracking. He pulled himself together quickly.

Charlotte sighed. “We’ll get him some antibiotics.” She offered, holding his hand.

They watched the surgery quietly, and Marvin watched as they cut open Whizzer’s skin and opened the flaps of his throat, draining it and stitching up the damage. They used stitches on his elbow and stomach as well, spreading antibiotics around on them.

Marvin stood and had Charlotte lead him to Whizzer’s hospital room.

Chapter Text

Whizzer woke to a hand in his hair, stroking it gently. He took a shuddering breath.

“You’re awake.” Marvin stated, smiling. “That’s good.”

Huffing out a laugh, Whizzer leaned into him. He knew the drill—no speaking.

“I’ll get you your meds. You’ll have to stay here a few days just to make sure they’re still working.” Marvin explained, running a hand through his hair. “I love you.”

Whizzer nuzzled into him, smiling. Marvin wrapped his arms around him, climbing into bed to lay with him. “Hey. We need to sign contracts with them. We spoke on the phone, the deal is that we’ll never hear from them again as long as we never say a word about it.”

Nodding, Whizzer fluttered his eyes closed. He was way too tired to think about this.

“Taking a nap, sweetheart?” He asked. Whizzer nodded again.

There was a knock on the door, and Whizzer’s eyes shot back open. He clutched onto Marvin, refusing to breathe.

It was just Charlotte.

He relaxed immediately, resting his head on Marvin’s chest and smiling at her. Marvin waved.

“Hey, you two.” Charlotte greeted, placing a pill bottle on the nightstand. “There’s your pills. If you’re about to nap, eat something soft and have the pill inside of it.” She handed him some pudding. Whizzer grinned.

She smiled back, turning a bit sympathetic. “I’m sorry you had to go through surgery again, Whizzer. And… for all of this. Those scars on your stomach didn’t heal correctly, so you had some loose skin. Hopefully it heals properly this time.”

He nodded, opening the pudding container and dropping a pill inside, mixing it in. He ate slowly, having Marvin hold him as he did. Charlotte talked to Marvin as he ate, not leaving the room until Whizzer finished eating and settled back into Marvin, getting ready to sleep.

Charlotte left then, waving goodbye and going to take care of another patient. Whizzer fluttered his eyes closed, nuzzling into his chest. Marvin pulled the blanket tighter around him. “Sleep well, love.” Marvin whispered, wrapping an arm around his back.

When he woke back up in the evening, Marvin was sketching something in his notebook. Whizzer pushed on it, trying to see, and smiling when he found a half finished drawing of himself sleeping.

“Can you lay back down so that I can finish?” Marvin asked, leaning in to kiss him. Whizzer nodded, laying back down.

Marvin scratched his scalp a bit, before going back to drawing.

Once he was done, Marvin placed his hand on Whizzer’s back to let him know.

Whizzer looked at the drawing and smiled, leaning up to kiss Marvin softly.

Hooking his arms under Whizzer’s thighs, Marvin pulled Whizzer up to his lap, massaging his shoulders and smiling at him. “You’re so adorable when you’re asleep.” Marvin whispered, tilting his head and pulling Whizzer closer. “You’re always so fun to draw.”

Smiling, Whizzer kissed him again, before tucking himself into Marvin’s side.

They kept him in the hospital for two weeks.

Since this is his third time getting this surgery, and he would most likely get nightmares more often, the doctors thought it would be safest to make sure there were no complications before allowing him to be sent home.

Luckily, that also meant that he was allowed to speak again the day he left. They wouldn’t need to make up an excuse for why he wasn’t speaking.

They planned to pick Jason up after heading to the place they were meant to meet to sign the contracts. Apparently, Dr. Johnson had gotten fired and banned from the hospital a year back for sneaking supplies out.

So Marvin held his hand and led him through the park.

A small picnic table was set up, two people already there and papers placed between them and the other bench. Marvin brought him to sit down on the extra.

Whizzer glanced up, getting a sick feeling in his stomach. Marvin squeezed his hand and leaned over.

“You let me if you need to step away for a minute, okay? Remember that I’m right here.” Marvin whispered to him, brushing a stray hair back and trailing an arm around his waist.

“Well,” Dr. Johnson started, smiling that same, sickening smile he always got when he tried to seem nice, “we’ve already signed the contract. You two can look it over and then sign at the bottom of the second page.”

Nodding, Whizzer grabbed the papers with a shaky hand, looking them over.

As long as Whizzer never spoke about this to anyone who doesn’t already know, or request a court case or an investigation on the company, nobody associated with it can ever go within fifty meters of him or someone he knows, or contact them in any way, along with compensation for his participation. It seemed fair enough. He looked it over twice, double checking for any catches.

Would you like us to email you with a copied page of our test results?

No

Whizzer continued reading and after deciding it was clean, signed his name at the bottom and handed it to Marvin.

Marvin did the same, before handing it back to them and frowning. “Are we good?” He asked, squeezing Whizzer’s waist.

Dr. Johnson put a hand up, handed over a duffle bag of money, and then nodded to them. “It really has been a pleasure working with you two. Goodbye, Whizzer Brown.”

And with that, Nathan and he stood up and walked away.

Carefully pulling him up, Marvin brought Whizzer into a tight hug. “It's over.” He murmured, smiling as Whizzer tucked his face into the crook of his neck.

“It really is.” Whizzer agreed, laughing wetly. “It’s finally over.”

Marvin held his head and leaned his own onto Whizzer’s, sniffing a bit. “Let's go get Jason and then bring you home, yeah?”

“Yes please.”

It was finally over.

Home felt warm compared to the lab and the hospital. Maybe it was the temperature—but maybe it was the fact that Marvin, Jason and himself were bundled together on the couch to watch a movie, and it’s the most relaxed he had been in months. Maybe even years.

It almost felt like a fresh start.

Chapter Text

Even with a written agreement that they’d never bother him again, they still did. They still bothered him, because the memories were still there and they weren’t behind bars or six feet under. It wasn’t fair. Why do they get to act like it never happened while Whizzer has to live with emotional and physical scars of everything they did?

It wasn’t fair.

Maybe that’s why he found himself thinking about doing things he swore he wouldn’t do while laying in bed at night. Or staring at the bottom of a cliff or bridge for too long as he stood on top. Maybe it’s why Marvin always held his hand when he noticed, and lathered him with plenty of extra affection.

But that wasn’t happening right now. Right now, they were snuggled up on the couch, waiting for Jason to get home and pack his suitcase. They were leaving for vacation tomorrow, and he had been procrastinating packing for a week.

“Honestly, at this rate, we’re going to need to pack it for him.” Marvin groaned, absentmindedly playing with Whizzers hair.

Whizzer smiled, reaching a hand up. “If it’s not done by dinner, I’ll go and help him out. And while I do that…” He turned in Marvin’s arms, cupping his cheeks. “You can get a warm bath ready for the two of us, because it’s nice to lay on you while taking a bath, and we haven’t done that in far too long.” He decided, kissing Marvin gently and smiling.

Nodding, Marvin helped him lay back down, putting a hand back into his hair. “Sounds good.” He murmured, scratching Whizzer’s scalp. “Baby?”

“Hm?”

“We haven’t really talked about how you were doing in a while. You know, we got out two months ago today, and I’ve noticed-”

“Do we have to talk about this?” Whizzer asked, frowning and looking down.

Marvin sighed. “We don’t have to, but I’m worried about you, doll. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

He was saved from needing to answer by the door opening, and Whizzer glanced apologetically at Marvin. “We can talk about it later, okay? Just… not now. Not with Jason here and awake.”

Nodding, Marvin kissed his hair. “You let me know when you’re ready.” He whispered, leading Whizzer’s chin up for a kiss. “I love you.” He sighed against Whizzer’s lips

“I love you too.” Whizzer murmured back, kissing him again.

“Ew. Get a room.”

Whizzer pulled back, snorting and turning around. “Sorry, kid.” He laughed. Marvin looked at him strangely.

Jason shrugged, flopping down on his chair. “What’s for dinner?”

Shrugging back, Whizzer leaned onto Marvin. “Haven’t decided. Anything you’re craving?”

Thinking about it, Jason eventually nodded. “Buffalo chicken sandwiches?” He offered, getting a thumbs up from Whizzer.

“I’ll get right on that. In the meantime, since you got to pick dinner, how about you pack your suitcase?” He raised an eyebrow. Jason groaned and sauntered off into his room. “Take some time to relax, hm? Read a few chapters of that book you’ve been wanting to start.”

“But-”

Whizzer’s cheery facade dropped. “please.” He whispered, turning away and heading into the kitchen.

He pre-made the chicken, added it into the Instant Pot, put the lid on and waited. Hopping onto the counter, he scrunched up his sleeves, sighing.

The Instant Pot beeped, and he quickly hopped down to turn it off. After adding chicken onto a few hamburger buns, plated and ready to go, he got curious. Slowly, he lowered his hand inside of it and bit down on his other arm, before pressing the pads of his fingers into the scathing hot metal.

He whimpered into his sleeve, letting his fingers sit for a moment before yanking his hand back. It almost felt nice.

Because all he could think about was the pain.

What had happened was far from his mind, getting replaced by the cold-hot burn and sizzle of his fingers.

“Marv!” He called. He had no intention of telling him what he had done. He just would need help bringing plates over. Marvin rushed in, relaxing as he saw that Whizzer was, in fact, not dying. “Help me set the table?” He asked, grabbing his own plate and glass, careful to hold his fingers just above it. Marvin nodded, grabbing the other two plates and following him out.

Marvin came up behind him after setting the plates down, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his head on his shoulder. “Are you mad at me?” Marvin asked, squeezing down Whizzer’s arms.

“No.” Whizzer said absentmindedly, trying to pull away but finding himself pulled back.

“We always make dinner together, Whiz. What’s going on?” He pushed, bringing his hands back to their original spot and frowning.

Whizzer huffed. “Nothings going on. Just wanted to let you relax.”

“Is this about earlier? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, i'm just worried-”

“I’m fine, Marvin!” Whizzer exclaimed, pulling away and turning quickly, finding himself face to face with his lover. “Please. I’m fine.”

He tried to back away, holding his hands up in defeat, but Marvin walked over and grabbed his wrist. “What happened?” He asked, examining Whizzer’s fingers.

“Oh. I stumbled a bit while holding the tongs; ran my hand into the side of the pot. I was just about to take care of that, actually. Mind finishing up setting the table for me?” Whizzer excused, tugging his hand away just a bit too forcefully and turning to the hallway.

“I love you.” Marvin called after him, sounding upset and defeated.

“Love you too!”

Whizzer locked the bathroom door behind him.

He flipped through the cabinets, ignoring Marvin’s insistent knocks and pulling out a burn ointment they got when Marvin got into some trouble with the stove half a year back. He gently lathered it onto his fingers, wrapping gauze around them.

Marvin was still on the other side of the door when opened it, head in his hands as he curled up against the wall. When the door opened, Marvin looked up, attempting a smile. “I’ll let Jason know that dinner is ready, okay? Are you gonna sit at the table with us?”

“Course.” Whizzer murmured, smiling softly.

Chapter Text

Marvin placed a hand on his thigh as they sat at the table, squeezing gently. Whizzer almost pushed it off. Almost. But instead, he looked over at Marvin and smiled. It wasn’t his fault that he was worried. Whizzer shouldn’t be mad at him about it.

“So, Jason, what’d you do at school today?” Marvin asked, taking a bite and giving Whizzer a thumbs up.

“Learn.” Jason stated. Marvin sighed.

“And what did you learn?” He added, opening a new bottle of wine and pouring himself and Whizzer a glass.

Jason thought about it for a moment. “Not much.”

Whizzer laughed as Marvin’s head fell into his free hand. Jason just went back to eating, so Whizzer leaned into Marvin’s ear. “He’s a teenager, Marv. You’re not getting any real responses until he goes to college and starts learning about things he likes.”

Marvin groaned, but perked up a bit when Whizzer started joking around with him again, instead of just dodging all his questions. “There’s no college degree for baseball or chess, Whizzer.”

“Baseball gets scholarships.”

Both Jason and Marvin raised an eyebrow at that one.

“Oh come on!” Whizzer argued, crossing his arms. “You’re not that bad.”

“I’m the worst player on the worst team in the league.” Jason muttered.

“So we’ll practice. We’ll have all of next week to practice. And speaking of next week…” Whizzer raised his eyebrows, leaning on his hands. “Have you gotten that suitcase packed yet?”

Hesitantly, Jason shook his head. Whizzer sighed.

“I’ll help you pack after dinner, kid. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

Jason nodded, and the three of them were left in a comfortable silence.

After dinner, Jason retreated to his room with the promise that Whizzer would be in there to help out in a few minutes.

Marvin laced his hands with Whizzer’s and glanced at his hand. “Listen, baby…” he murmured, rubbing circles into Whizzer’s palm. “If you’re not ready to talk, you’re not ready to talk, but I don’t want you to lie to me, okay? I love you. And if you’re not feeling okay, I want you to talk to me. But if you’re not up for that, it’s okay. Could you at least tell me what really happened to your hand? Or- or just tell me if you were lying about it before?”

“I… was.” Whizzer muttered, looking down. Marvin pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you for telling me, love.” He breathed. “You should probably go help Jason out. Do you still want me to run us that bath?”

Whizzer nodded, backing away. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Whizzer.”

Heading into Jason’s room, Whizzer greeted him with a smile, pulling out his desk chair. “Alright, kid. Get out a suitcase.”

Once they had successfully packed, Whizzer took his suitcase and put it by the door with the other two, then said goodnight to him and made his way into the room he shared with Marvin.

“Love?” He called, knocking on the wall.

“In the bathroom!”

Whizzer walked inside, smiling gently. “Hi.” He murmured, nuzzling into Marvin’s side.

“Hi there.” Marvin whispered, unbuttoning his shirt and helping it off of his shoulders. “I filled the bath.”

“I see that.” Whizzer agreed, stripping down the rest of the way and following Marvin in, inhaling the aroma of candles. “This is nice. Thank you.”

Marvin smiled and turned on the jacuzzi, before stroking Whizzer’s hair and smiling contently. “Anytime. I love doing this with you.”

Whizzer sighed happily. “I’m glad you learned how to do this right.” He murmured teasingly, nuzzling into his side. “You used to never get it perfect like this.”

“I got your approval and you didn’t fix the temperature? I must’ve really gotten it this time.”

“You really did.” Whizzer murmured, melting into Marvin’s chest. “You’ve got it just right.”

“Good. Now relax, love. I’m gonna pamper you tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Marvin whispered, one hand on Whizzer’s chest and the other threaded into his hair.

Whizzer hummed, turning his head and nuzzling into Marvin’s chest, kissing his shoulder blade. “I could fall asleep like this.” He murmured, sighing.

“If you need to, you can. I’ll keep you above the water.” Marvin promised, continuing to touch his hair. “I’ll wake you once the water’s running cold if you do.”

“Thank you.” Whizzer mumbled, melting.

He drifted off a few moments later.

Marvin shook him awake and hooked his arms under Whizzer’s knees and back. He was carried to bed, laid on his stomach as a hand ran across his skin.

After a moment, Marvin straddled him and gently kneaded his back, getting the knots in his shoulders and back out. He squeezed down his arms and legs, placing soft kisses along his back. Marvin took his hands and rubbed his palms, before carefully turning Whizzer onto his back and stroking his hair. “How is that, baby?” He asked softly, leaning down and pressing their foreheads together.

“Good.” Whizzer murmured, reaching up to hook his arms around Marvin’s torso. “Hold me.”

Marvin smiled, sliding himself down into a lying position, wrapping his arms around Whizzer and pulling him close. “I love you, babydoll.” He sighed, kissing Whizzer’s temple as Whizzer nuzzled into his shoulder.

“I love you.” Whizzer echoed. He felt so loved. And warm. Marvin was very warm. He used to always feel freezing, but Whizzer turned the heat on and warmed up quickly.

He wasn’t quite ready to fall asleep just yet, so Whizzer just breathed Marvin in and melted into his touch, sighing softly.

When he fell asleep is still a mystery to him, but he did. Marvin was still clinging to him in the morning, awake and gently kissing under his ear to wake him up.

“Ready to go?” He asked, squeezing his thigh. Whizzer made a little noise of disapproval.

“I’m not even out of bed yet.” He mumbled sleepily, lacing his hands with Marvin’s. “Give me an hour or so, okay?”

Marvin nodded, kissing him one last time—on the lips—and detaching himself. “You better get on that then.” He murmured, kissing Whizzer gently.

Chapter Text

It was too early to be awake on a weekend.

That was what Whizzer decided as he did his hair in the mirror, drowsy and bleary eyed. He ducked under the sink and grabbed an alcoholic can of sparkling water, taking a sip, relishing in the burn he got from it. Marvin didn’t know that Whizzer had the case of them under the sink. He would tell him to stop. But Whizzer didn’t want to stop. He didn’t do this in front of anyone, and it was to get rid of the memories he hated oh so much.

Sure, drinking didn’t get rid of them.

But it helped him cope with them.

So he kept drinking with the door locked, finishing off three cans and hiding the empty ones in the trash bag he kept down there specifically for this.

He changed in there, and he got almost completely ready in there, turning on the sink and drinking a bit of water to help sober himself up faster.

Marvin knocked on the door.

“One minute!” Whizzer called, watching himself in the mirror. Hopefully Marvin couldn’t tell. Hopefully he didn’t look drunk or act drunk or smell like alcohol, because that would give him away.

He needed coffee.

Coffee hid the smell and sobered him faster.

Whizzer finished up his hair and smiled at Marvin as he opened the door. “I’ve still got to brush my teeth. Make us some coffee, love?”

Marvin handed him a mug and smiled crookedly. “One step ahead of you, Whiz.” He mused, watching Whizzer take a sip.

He brushed his teeth and followed Whizzer out.

“Do you mind driving first today?” Whizzer asked, leaning into Marvin. “I’m still really tired.”

“Of course.” Marvin murmured, kissing Whizzer on the cheek. He glanced over at him for a moment, confused, before smiling again.

“You alright?” Whizzer asked, taking a small step away. He’d been caught, hadn’t he?

Marvin nodded. “Just… I don’t know. I smell alcohol.”

“Oh.” Whizzer breathed, looking away. “That’s weird.”

“I know you were drinking.” Marvin sighed, slipping the final suitcase into the car. “I know you’ve been drinking, and that you think I don’t know, but I do, and Christ, Whizzer, I’ve been waiting for you to come to me about it, but I can’t keep waiting.” Marvin ranted, cupping Whizzer’s cheeks. “It’s getting excessive, baby.” He murmured.

Whizzer stared at him for a moment. “Sorry.” He whispered.

“Promise you’ll stop drinking so much.”

After a moment of staring at the ground, Whizzer spoke up again. “I’m not sure I can promise that.”

Marvin sighed, pulling him into a hug. Whizzer pulled away from it. “I just want you to be healthy.”

“Well maybe it’s not that easy.” Whizzer huffed, closing the trunk as hard as he could and walking to the passengers seat.

“Whizzer, talk to me. You’re being unreasonable and you know it.” Marvin sighed, standing at the car door. “Just- I promise you there’s healthier ways to process this. We can- we can get you into therapy, or-”

“I’m not broken, Marv!” Whizzer exclaimed, trying to hide the way his voice cracked. “I’m not.”

“I know you’re not.” Marvin whispered, cupping his face again. “Jason goes to therapy, and he’s not broken.” He reasoned. Whizzer nodded. “And you aren’t broken either. You’re stuck with something that nobody you know is stuck with the same way you are, and that’s hard. A therapist can help you get through that without drinking or…” Marvin gently picked up Whizzer’s burnt hand. “Or hurting yourself.”

Whizzer’s eyes stung with tears. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“It’s okay. I'm not mad, and I don’t want you to be sorry. And you know what? I’ll also help you get off of those things that you think are helping. But they aren’t really helping, right? How about you give it a shot?”

He nodded slowly. “Okay.” He whispered, sniffing. “I’ll try it.”

Marvin smiled, wrapping Whizzer up in a hug. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too, Marv.”

Jason came out and hopped in the back, and Whizzer wiped his eyes to turn around and flash him a bright smile. “Ready, kid?”

He nodded sleepily, and Whizzer turned back around to let him rest.

They were driving twelve and half hours today, and another twelve tomorrow, with a stay at a hotel in-between. Marvin was driving today. He hopped into the driver's seat, smiling gently at him and leaning out to cup his face for a moment. “All good to go?”

“Yeah.” Whizzer murmured, grabbing his hand and holding it in his lap.

They drove in silence for a while, until Whizzer turned around to check that Jason wasn’t awake, before turning to Marvin. “You really aren’t mad?” Whizzer asked, avoiding eye contact. Thankfully, Marvin kept his eyes on the road.

“I’m really not. Promise.” Marvin whispered, thumbing over Whizzer’s knuckles. “Is it okay if I move that stuff to the fridge once we’re back? I don’t want to throw out alcohol; shit’s expensive, but I don’t want you getting…”

“Tempted?”

Marvin silently nodded.

“Thank you.” Whizzer murmured. “And if you catch me with another burn-” Whizzer cut himself off and glanced at his hand.

“I won’t push you. I’ll simply pull you into my arms and kiss it better.”

Whizzer laughed, looking back over at Marvin. “Maybe I’ll have to burn other places for you to kiss better.” He sighed, winking at him. Marvin glanced at Jason in the mirror to make sure he was still asleep.

“Or, you can stop completely and just ask politely.” Marvin offered, nudging him.

“Oh, of course. Everyone goes up to their boyfriend and politely goes, ‘oh, dear lover, will you please blow me?’”

Marvin laughed, stopping at a light and looking over. “You’re a dork.”

“Next time you want sex you have to say please about it.”

“Christ.” Marvin giggled, pulling onto the highway.

Whizzer turned the radio up a bit, and the conversation turned to quietly listening to the music and news stations on at the time.

They arrived at the hotel, bringing small backpacks inside for the overnight instead of their suitcases.

Marvin and Whizzer took the pull out, giving Jason the bedroom since the bed in there was smaller.

They had the door in between the rooms closed, and while Jason slept, Whizzer silently stared at Marvin, who was whispering to him.

“—and I’m really proud of you, y’know. Getting a new job in a completely different industry must’ve been really hard. I’m happy you got the job you wanted, love.” Marvin took his hand and unwrapped the gauze around his fingers. “These are still looking pretty bad.” He murmured, gently bringing them up to kiss gently. “That didn’t hurt, did it?” He asked, looking Whizzer in the eye again. Whizzer shook his head. “Good. You tired?”

He nodded, fluttering his eyes closed.

“C’mere.”

Marvin pulled him close, kissing under his ear and wrapping his arms around him. “I love you. Goodnight.”

“Love you.” Whizzer breathed, already half asleep. “G’night.”

The next morning, Marvin was still sound asleep when he fluttered his eyes awake. He could hear the shower running, so he just lay with Marvin for a while longer, stroking his hair.

It didn’t take long for Marvin to wake up, leaning into Whizzer’s hand and smiling softly. “Hey there.” Whizzer murmured, leaning in to kiss him softly. Marvin kissed back hungrily, cupping Whizzer’s face and flipping him onto his back, carefully climbing on top of him and leaning their foreheads together.

Whizzer giggled breathily, wrapping his arms around Marvin’s waist. Marvin stroked his face, leaning down and placing another quick kiss to his lips. “Good morning.” Marvin breathed against his mouth, running his nose along his cheek and kissing his jaw.

“We can’t have sex right now, Marvin.” Whizzer whispered, running his hands up and down his back. “We’ve got to go. Also, your son is like- right there. These walls are thinner than our own.”

Marvin sighed, rolled off of him and turned his head to grin at Whizzer. “You suck.” Marvin murmured, squeezing Whizzer’s thigh. Whizzer hit him on the chest playfully.

“You’re a dick!” Whizzer countered, laughing and turning on his side to pull Marvin in to cuddle. “I love you.”

Grin morphing to a small smile, Marvin kissed his hair, wrapping his arms and legs around Whizzer. “I love you too, baby.” He sighed, rolling them over again and clutching onto Whizzer like a sloth. “You’re a comfortable pillow.” He murmured, tucking his face into Whizzer’s neck.

Jason came out of the bathroom then, dressed and ready to go. Whizzer carefully picked Marvin up as he stood and dropped him on the bed, alerting him that it was time to go.

When they got into the car, Marvin went straight to closing his eyes again, getting comfortable in his seat. Jason pulled out his headphones and watched something, and Whizzer sat in silence for a while before deciding to listen to music while he drove.

The silence was calming, in a way. But it had gotten to him, and music cleared the dread that was bubbling in his stomach.

Once Marvin woke, Jason and he were getting fairly hungry, and Whizzer was bordering on hunger himself, so they began looking for a place to stop and eat. They were getting to Nebraska by then, and they’d rather eat there than Iowa, so it took another thirty minutes until they were in the drive through of a shitty fast food place in the middle of the farm fields bordering Nebraska. It was still a bit uncomfortable, truthfully, since there wasn’t a huge difference anyways, and Iowa was only about ten minutes from there. The people were mostly the same. They didn’t get out of the car until they had to get gas, and even then Marvin was the one to get out and do it.

The rest of the drive went by with a breeze, and by the time they were up the mountain their rented cabin was on, it was about time for dinner.

They had a cooler with food and drinks for dinner that night and breakfast the next morning, and they planned on going into town and buying groceries for the rest of their snacks and meals for the next week afterwards.

Marvin was insistent on helping with dinner tonight, and Whizzer didn’t fight it at all. Marvin worked on grilling a few hamburgers and hotdogs while Whizzer cut up fruit for a fruit salad and got bowls and plates out.

After a while, Marvin came up behind him and hooked his head over his shoulder and his arms around his waist. “I’m done. This stuff ready?” He asked, rubbing Whizzer’s hips.

Whizzer hummed, turning and resting his head on top of Marvin’s. “I think you know that it is, since you’ve been watching me like a hawk.”

Frowning, Marvin brought Whizzer’s head down to face him. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He murmured, taking Whizzer’s hands in his.

“I’m fine, Marv. You don’t need to act like I’m gonna break at any second.”

Marvin leaned his forehead on Whizzer’s collar bones. “I know. I’m not trying to. I just don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Whizzer nodded. “You won’t. I’m okay, love. The thoughts are still going to be there for a while, but I’m trying pretty damn hard to get rid of them. I’m right here. Remember that. I’m not going anywhere.” He wrapped his arms around Marvin and held him to his chest for a moment, pressing his lips to his hair. “I’ve got you.”

Sniffing quietly, Marvin buried his face a bit more. “I’m sorry.” Marvin sobbed, wiping away a few tears.

“It’s alright, my love. It’s alright.”

Marvin pulled back after a few minutes, smiling softly at Whizzer and dabbing at his eyes with his shirt. “Okay. I’m okay now.” He murmured, cupping Whizzer’s face and pulling him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, dear.”

And as he sat down to eat with his little imperfect family, he knew that he could get through it. Because Marvin had him, and held him close. And Jason was there, and if he didn’t act perfectly he’d become Whizzer’s therapist, and he was much too young for that.

He could get better.

Everything will be alright.