Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Arthur died the moment he saw Merlin's body crumple to the ground and remained still.dromant.

or at least, part of him. The part that made Arthur the man and King he is today, the compassionate, calm and forgiving part. The part that Merlin praised the most and constantly encouraged to become better. A better king and most importantly a better man and friend, so one day he would unit all of Albion together as Merlin always liked to imagine was his rightful place.

The part that mattered.

It disappeared. vanished on a whim.

And what was left of him?

The anguished part of Arthur that never got used to the feeling of not doing enough. the numbness that came after realizing he lost another loved one. the weight of regret and What ifs that would attack his mind relentlessly and hunt him. What if he was faster? What if he made a different choice? What if he could have convinced the sorcerer  to  take him instead? What if he wasn't his father's son and brought magic back again? Had he been a wiser King, would that have made a difference? A better outcome perhaps?

Would that have stopped his enemies from depriving him of everything he cherished?

There was also rage. He was furious beyond reason.
The rage spread like a plague, a constant pressure in his chest, a boiling heat searing his skin like a wildfire with no escape, burning through his veins with intensity and promising hell to anyone that stood in his way to rescue Merlin.

For instance, his uncle Agravaine.

"My Lord, while I have no doubt that the servant Merlin was loyal to you and is an invaluable companion to your person," there was a mocking edge to Agravaine's tone that had Arthur's fists clench tightly under the table. the meaning hidden beneath the buttery words was picked so carefully so that only Arthur could understand what his Uncle really thought about his closeness to Merlin,
"While I'm aware of all of this, I can't help but feel grateful that the sorcerer only attacked the servant and not anyone of the council or the Knights , It is indeed a minor sacrifice for the greater good. We must  -"

"Enough." Arthur's voice was steady,almost serene, but that calm composure made everyone around the table flinch because it carried the weight of his restrained rage. Unfortunately his Uncle did not heed the quiet warning.

"Your Majesty, I understand that you are in mourning, but as I previously said -"

"SILENCE AGRAVAINE!" Arthur slammed his hands on the table so hard that all the goblets tobbled to the ground, the voice of it falling kept echoing for a few long seconds, while everyone else remained stockstill, scarcely breathing and dreading the next words that will come out of the King's mouth.

"Shut your mouth, or you will be silenced." He retracted his fake composure and looked straight into the widening eyes of Agravaine.

"Utter one more word about Merlin and you will be dragged to the dungeons, Interfere with the Knights' rotations to go looking for the druids again and it will be your exile, Insult Merlin again and I will personally run you through. you have my words on this Uncle."

He turned his face to look straight at the doors of the throne room, locking his fingers together and resting his hands on the table, his uncle's tongue seemed to melt in his mouth as he didn't hear any reply forthcoming, so he encouraged one from him.

"Is that clear?"

Agravaine seemed to sputter for a minute and looked to all the people that sat around the table , searching for someone to speak for him , the ones who shared his Uncle's malice and disdain about Merlin perhaps, but every other member except for his Knights was keeping their eyes down and mouth clamped shut,not daring to do anything lest they be the next target of Arthur's wrath.

Agravaine finally realized he was on his own and gulped, feeling in denial that that was the same foolish nephew of his that always clinged to every word he said and respected him even more than Gaius sometimes.

"Yes, Sir." he wheezed weakly.

"Good. Now where were we?" Arthur continued like nothing happened, but even though he knew that he has crossed all boundaries and is using his title to his advantage, he felt neither remorse nor satisfaction from his actions.

Oh how disappointed would Merlin be in him now. He thought.He was being the arrogant condescending noble, the version that Merlin hated the most of him. Would Merlin be horrified to see Arthur treating the people around him like this just because they insulted Merlin? Or Would he tease Arthur that he did care about his manservant afterall? There is one way to know..

But it's alright, if Merlin thought he was acting like a complete prat with no manners , he should come back and berate him for it himself.

Chapter Text

It all started like every catastrophe starts in camelot.

In a feast.

King Arthur stood in the castle's courtyard, with his knights wrapped around him in a semi-circle from both sides. Today marked a remarkable achievement in his regin--The successful negotiations of a trade deal with the neighboring kingdoms of Mercia and Nemeth.

After months of careful diplomacy , strategic discussions, humoring rulers with fake laughs and listening to the unending complaints of his uncle and the council, the agreement had been sealed,promising prosperity and growth for all parts involved.

Today was the first day in his three day's celebration feast. In honor of Camelot and the other respected kingdoms long awaited success, Arthur wanted to express his gratitude for the warm  welcome he received from Queen Annis and the stern but not maliceful guidance from King Bayard.

As his manservant finished preparing him for attending the feast , He tuned off Merlin's chatter a bit to organize his thoughts and recite his speech for the umpteenth time, He wouldn't say it out loud if his life depended on it but he was nervous.

He fought tooth and nail to secure this trade and worked his butt off for many weeks just so Camelot's people would reap the benefits of this deal for as long as Camelot and the other kingdoms stood.

Arthur liked to think that he did well this time and mostly handled the rising issues with a calm head and a professional manner suited to a King,  Although in the back of his mind he was aware that if it weren't for Merlin soothing his tantrums and grumblings,  listening to him swear up and down that he would kick that one specific old fool noble that existed from his father's days from the council and generally handling any problems that would distract Arthur from this trade, he probably would have blown this deal eons ago only because he would have been overwhelmed.

This was half Merlin's success as it was his. His manservant admirably lead the insides of the Castle and took hold well of all the duties that should have been left for the Queen to take, He never once complained or left a job unfinished,  never spoke to Arthur about any of the castle's affairs-except for the ones needing a direct permission from the King.

He was unmistakably Arthur's righthand but only lacked the title for it.

Arthur knew he should promote Merlin and give him a title, maybe make him his advisor..

But he selfishly wanted to keep him hidden by his side a bit more.

He was cut out of his thoughts with the voice of Merlin grunting quietly over something in his hands and had his back bent facing Arthur.

Arthur was immediately suspicious.

"Merlin?"

"Yes?" Did his voice just waver?

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing!- I mean - err ... I'm just holding your belt?"

"Holding my belt?"

"Yes!"

"Will you perhaps keep holding it till the feast ends or just come finish dressing me already!"

"Just a second! err...please?" 

Arthur headed over to where Merlin was sitting on the ground and peeked over his shoulder to find him... adding another hole to his belt! 

"Are you suggesting that I'm fat now?"

Merlin jumped to stand infront of him and hid the belt behind his back, "What? No! of course not , My lord." The snort he let out after meant that he did in fact believe that Arthur is fat.

"Merlin there is no use lying, I already saw it. And stop pressing your mouth like that, it makes you look more stupid than usual." 

"Stop being a prat! I was just enhancing it, for comfort and ease of use."

"So you are saying I got fat and now I need to add new holes to all my belts."

"I have no idea what you are talking about ,Sire."

Arthur sighed ,"Just hand me the damn belt Merlin."

A few embarrassing moments passed where Arthur attempted prove to Merlin that he is still fighting fit and tried to put his belt using the old hole but it left him wheezing and breathless instead , he begrudgingly conceded and made Merlin use the new hole glaring at him in warning to not utter any smart comment.

Merlin patted his chest two times for good measure and stepped back , grinning mischievously  "All right! You are all set, Your majesty!"

Arthur turned to look at his attire, since he became king he ceased wearing anything but his chainmail in special occasions such as this one. Merlin and Gwen always noted that the metal armor gave him a sense of regal authority, although Merlin always ended the praise by saying "Don't let it get into your head prat!". Draped over his shoulders was Camelot crimson cloak, the cloak is fastened at the front with a golden brooch, emblazoned with the emblem of Camelot. It felt safe to be in his armor and to have his sword fastened to his side.

He shifted his gaze and saw Merlin's sparkling blue eyes full of pride and fondness looking back at him, Arthur held his hand so that Merlin would grab his forearm and they both clasped each other, A sign of mutual respect and camaraderie between them.

"You will be there should i need you?" Arthur asked.

"Of course ,Arthur." Merlin replied.

----------------------

"This is not what i meant when i said i need you to be there, you idiot!" Arthur huffed as he dragged Merlin's limp body back towards the servants passage to reach his chambers.

He was so busy humoring his guests and making small talks with all kinds of people that he lost track of  the amount of wine his servant drank sneakily behind him. He wanted Merlin to have a little fun and loosen a bit seeing as it was rare that he did that these days, but as he was hauling the stumbling form that was Merlin back to his chambers ,he was regretting ever having that thought.

Arthur knew that Merlin was lost to them the moment he started standing infront of him and began to spout some nonsense about protecting him from hidden evil whenever his Uncle approached him for a word--all the while glaring heatedly at the man. if looks could burn,his uncle would have been scorched right where he stood. 

Merlin mostly seemed that he was the happy drunk type. All lopsided grins, childlike glee and uncoordinated motions.

And the most surprising thing of all ; was the easy affection. Merlin was a sentimental man. He always had a reassuring smile and a word of praise ready on his mouth. His touch came freely without expecting anything in return.

Although somewhere in the middle he stopped showing that side of him just as openly as before.

That particular side however, made an appearance again tonight.

Merlin was latched to Arthur's body, his arms circled around Arthur's waist and head on his chest, the man was currently tilting his head and his droppy eyelids was staring at Arthur with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Stop frownin...Arthur."

That remark made Arthur frown even more.

"Huh? Why'd it.. not go 'way?"

Merlin placed his finger on Arthur's frown, easing it away. "There, tha's better."

Arthur shooed his hands away and cursed. "Merlin,you need to use your legs."

"Legs?" Merlin slurred.

"Yes, your legs. You know those two sticks you have that are touching the ground, Can you try to move them perhaps?"

"Dun wanna."

"I will drop you."

"Nah. you won't." He snorted and tightened his hold on Arthur even more.

Arthur sighed because he knew that dropping the man wasn't an option. He looked around him, the halls leading to his chambers seemed to have been deserted. Everyone was still busy at the feast drinking and dancing.Even the guards who usually roamed the corridors were nowhere to be seen.

Arthur detached himself from Merlin -not easily- then held Merlin's wrists to keep him steady as he kneeled on the ground with his back facing the other man, he tugged on his hands. "Merlin, if you don't remember this in the morning, it will be the stocks for you!"

"Whaaa... y'doin'?"

"We don't have all night, come on,hop on."

"Y'will... carry me?"

"Yes Merlin, I don't know what I will do without your observation skills."

Arthur heard the sound of Merlin's laugh before the man all but jumped on him. If it weren't for his training in withstanding sudden blows, Arthur was afraid he might have fell nose first on the floors.

"Careful!" he hissed.

"Sorry." He heard the slurred voice near his ears.

Arthur sighed for the hundred time today and stood with Merlin on his back , He secured him by holding both legs and Merlin had his arms wrapped around Arthur's neck, his head leaning on his shoulder.

"Hey! Don't sleep on me."

"M'not."

                             -----------------------   

Finally arriving at Arthur's chambers, he dismissed the guards standing infront of his door offering to help him in carrying Merlin and entered the room with the man drooling all over his shoulder.

Arthur disentangled Merlin's lanky arms from his neck then placed him carefully on the chair infront of the hearth. 

He poked his cheek, "Merlin ,wake up."

Merlin mumbled something incomprehensible but otherwise he didn't move.

"What was that?" Arthur asked.

"M'mouth's... so dry..."

Arthur went for the pitcher that was on his table and poured a goblet of water , going back to where Merlin was sprawled on the chair, he graped Merlin's neck tilting his head and put the goblet infront of his mouth, He couldn't help but complain.

"I can't believe you are making the king serve you Merlin that's too much insolence, even for you."

Even though he spoke those words, Arthur continued to coax Merlin into opening his mouth. When Merlin finally did, Arthur only let him take a few sips of water, just enough to prevent him from choking or vomiting on the floor.

"Arthur?"

"Finally coming back to the land of living,Merlin?"

"Yeah." He shook his head then looked like he instantly regretted the action. "More or less. I'm a bit queasy though."

"That's what you get for trying to keep up with Gwaine! you fell straight into his trap like an idiot."

Merlin groaned as an answer.

Rolling his eyes at Merlin in exasperation , He said "Just sit still for a moment. I will be back."

Arthur found his night wear on the bed and got behind the dresser to change his clothes, he was tired and weary after long days of doing the same routine. He longed for the days when he was only responsible for training the knights and maybe participating in the council with an idea or two just to avoid his father's disapproving scowl.

However, his days as the Crown Prince of Camelot were far behind him. Now, his only wish was to be a just King, ensuring that none of his people went hungry or lacked shelter and maybe abandoning a few of Uther's unnecessarily strict strategies.

The last one was the most challenging to achieve.

But Merlin and Guineveres' constant presence made it feel less daunting. Having their steady flow of support and advice would give him enough strength to tackle yet another hard meeting.

Speaking of his manservant..

"Merlin?"

No answer.

The man sat collapsed in the chair with his mouth slightly ajar , his breath steady and slow. the sounds of soft snoring echoed faintly in the chambers. Merlin looked peaceful sleeping like this, the usual lines of concern and tension melting away,leaving his face looking much younger.

Arthur hated to disturb him. He understood the immense effort Merlin had put in, but they still had two days of celebrations left, and they both needed their rest. Reluctantly,he began to lift him again for the second time that day.

Arthur layed Merlin on his bed then removed his boots and secured him under the bed covers, He made to stand up when a hand held his wrist, looking down he found Merlin's heavy-lidded eyes staring back at him.

"Arthur? Why am I in your bed?"

"Because you were being such a dollophead."

"That's my word."

"And it suits you perfectly. Go back to sleep."

"Arthur." Merlin tightened his grip on Arthur's wrist, silently waiting for him to meet his gaze. When Arthur finally did, Merlin spoke softly, "You know I'm proud of you, right?"

Arthur froze, taken aback by the sincerity in Merlin's voice, devoid of its usual teasing tone. He was well aware of Merlin's unwavering loyalty, but they both had a habit of masking their true feelings with jest. After such a long day, hearing Merlin voice those words so earnestly outloud, Arthur was horrified to feel his eyes beginning to well up.

"Merlin,you are clearly still tipsy." He tried to ignore how his voice quivered.

"Maybe I am. I think it's the only thing helping me saying this right now."

"Well , you've said plenty. Now it’s time to rest."

"No. no just-- just hear me out for a minute?"

Arthur sighed then nodded his head, allowing Merlin to continue.

"I've seen how you struggled since Uther's death. how heavy Morgana's betrayal weighed on you.You were such an insufferable prat most of those days ,taking out your frustration on the knights and making me muck out the stables dozens of times just to keep me out of your hair."

Arthur opened his mouth to clarify those exact behaviors, but Merlin squeezed his hand in reassurance that there was no need to.

"But I've also seen you painstakingly read every one of those mind-numbing grain reports that never seem to end,I've seen you reprimand some of the nobles for how they were treating their servants,I've seen you guide the young knights with patience and I've seen you give your everything to help your people in every way possible.

For all your mistakes, you are undeniably a great king, one who will soon be able to unit Albion.

I wanted you to know that i believe in you, and so do the guests that attended the feast."

"Merlin.." Arthur's carefully constructed walls was about to crumble, feeling a gentle warmth enveloping him,warming him from the inside and filling him with a sense of peace.

the impact of Merlin's words was like a cloak shielding him from all the wavering and uncertainty.

Merlin's voice gradually softened into a whisper as he gave in to his growing drowsiness,

"As your subject, " he said, "I'm contented by having you as our king, As your..." 

"As your friend, I'm proud of you."

Chapter Text

For a long time after Merlin drifted to sleep Arthur remained in his place, the words Merlin spoke to him rolling around in his head.

A part of him wanted to shrug it off, to shove the words aside like he always did with things that made him feel too much. But tonight, he couldn’t. Maybe it was the exhaustion creeping in or the weight of the day finally catching up to him. Or maybe , maybe because he knew there was no one around -at least awake- to see him reacting to those words , so he let himself repeat them.

Someone believed in him.

Someone saw all his efforts.

Someone was proud of him.

And that someone was Merlin.

He spent years perfecting the art of brushing things off, of keeping everything inside. But tonight after hearing those affirmations coming from his closest friend, he couldn't hide it.

It felt good. A part of him wanted to shake Merlin awake to thank him and tell him how glad he is to have him by his side, but it seemed really ridiculous now to attempt it , he was secretly relieved that Merlin had fallen asleep before he was forced to respond to his speech.

He wasn’t the guy who talked about feelings. And yet, the knot in his chest felt looser now, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little.

For once, he allowed himself to believe that maybe he didn’t have to carry everything alone, that maybe someone being proud of him wasn’t so hard to accept.

"Thank you." came his late reply.

And after he thanked Merlin,  he also came to realize that he quiet literally was the one who put Merlin in his bed  , so Arthur resigned himself to sleep in the antechambers for the night , too fond of the one stealing his bed to actually feel annoyed about it.

---------

Arthur woke with the first light of dawn, his body sore from the hard mattress, but his heart unexpectedly light.

He found that himself alone in the chambers with his breakfast already on the table ,Merlin probably just woke before him  and went to see the rest of the preparations for the day ahead.

Arthur felt a flicker of worry as he knew Merlin would be struggling with a hangover and likely exhausted. He settled on the table and began to eat,  resloving himself to check on him before the feast.

But that never really happened. Merlin had all but vanished and no matter whom he asked , no one seemed to know. He didn't even show up to dress him for the feast. Arthur felt restless and couldn't shake the feeling that, despite the festivities ahead, it was important to make sure Merlin was okay before it began.

He was in the middle of going to Gaius' chamber, when he was stopped by his Uncle, "Arthur?"

Arthur really wished he could pretend that he did not hear him and just continue on his way ,but alas,  you don't always get to do what you want even if you are the king.

He faked a patient smile and turned around, "Yes, Uncle,How can I help you?"

His uncle offered him a kind smile, though it carried a hint of exasperation.

"Where are you heading? The feast is about to start and our guests are waiting for you."

"Yes, I'm aware, Uncle. In fact , I was about to head there my self but I wanted to check on something first."

"You can tell me about it, Arthur, and I can do it for you , or - ...." Agravaine paused to look behind Arthur , seemingly expecting Merlin to pop out from behind him as he was always following him like a lost duckling.

"Where is that boy?"

Arthur's eyes twitched a bit on the title, feeling offended on behalf of his manservant.

"Merlin."

"What?"

"His name is Merlin, Uncle. it's not really that hard to forget the name , seeing as no one else goes by it."

"Uh, yes , of course. Merlin. Where is he?"

"I was heading to Gaius to ask him myself about the answer to this riddle. He seemed to have disappeared since morning."

"Arthur!" Agravaine's tone held both reproach and annoyance, "Tell me you didn't ignore our esteemed guests in favor of searching for your manservant."

Arthur did exactly that , but he wasn't about to admit it. "Of course not, Uncle. I'm sure our guests will understand that the King has alot on his hands."

"But Merlin isn't that imp-"

Sir Leons' call cut through the conversation , "Your Majesty!"

"Leon. What is the matter?"

"King Bayard,Sir. He has been inquiring about your presence. I’m afraid it’s time for you to make an appearance."

"See what I meant Arthur? There are more important matters to attend to than looking for this boy- uh, Merlin."

Arthur ignored his Uncle and turned his attention on Leon, "Have you seen him?"

"You mean Merlin ,Sir?" Arthur nodded. "Last I saw of him , he was with Gwen. Come to think of it, he looked a bit pale." Leon finished with a grimace.

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, the dull throb of a headache already settling in. He knew there was no avoiding his guests now—it would be a grave insult to Bayard and his people. His duty to Camelot had to come first, no matter how much his mind drifted to Merlin. Still, he forced himself to push aside the gnawing worry, trusting that Gwen would tend to Merlin's hangover.

With a heavy sigh, he straightened up, reminding himself that personal concerns could wait—diplomacy could not, "Alright, Let's go."

---------

Fortunately, Bayard was not that insulted by his late arrival, It was all thanks to Queen Annis placating the old King. Arthur had to admit, having made an ally of Annis was one of the best achievements in his region, The Queen was a force to be reckoned with and the thought of having her as an enemy made him gulp.

Arthur scanned the hall, frustration growing within him. Of course, Merlin was absent. He rolled his eyes at his insubordinate manservant, wondering if Merlin was hiding out of embarrassment after his drunken confession.

The thought made Arthur snort, prompting him to clear his throat when he noticed the curious glances from Bayard and Annis.

It was time to begin the feast.

Rising to his feet, he raised his goblet in a toast, wishing everyone a wonderful evening and congratulating them on their successful trade. Despite the numerous nobles and knights fighting for his attention, he kept his gaze fixed on the servant’s door, waiting the appearance of his wayward manservant.

He didn't have to wait long.

Merlin quietly slided into the hall, with his hair dishevled and looking rumbled more so than usual in his standard outfit.

Arthur thought to himself ,His hangover was clearly far from over.

Merlin searched the hall untill his eyes locked on Arthur, Once he spotted him , A smile broke across his face, and Arthur let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Pretending to Listen with a feigned interest to what Bayard and Annis are conversing about , he motioned subtly to Merlin to come over.

He raised his goblet , waiting for Merlin to pour wine into it ,"Merlin." Arthur said in greeting, hoping not to draw too much attention on them.

"My lord." Merlin replied with his usual sarcasm.

"Where the hell have you been all day?"

"In my room." Arthur opened his mouth to give him a piece of his mind, when Merlin continued, "With a bucket. Throwing up everything I ate the day before." he shuddered and added, "I will never drink again in my life."

Arthur tried to hide his smirking face behind his goblet , feeling much too amused at Merlins' dramatic response to sympathize with him.

"Arthur." Merlin called.

"I told you not to over do it , you only have yourself to blame."

"Arthur!"

He looked up at Merlin's face to find him frowning at entrance of the Hall , His shoulders tense and body on guard.

Arthur hands immediately went to his sword, his previous experiences at the feasts in camelot made him learn his lesson , While everything seemed in order as he surveyed the room—nobles chatting and servants serving— Merlin's anxious eyes made him feel on edge.He was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"What is it?" He asked in feigned calmness.

"Arthur, You need to get out of here."

"Why?"

"Something is not right."

Of course , It was at that moment when all the chaos began.

Suddenly, every window and door in the hall slammed shut with a deafening bang, sending echoes reverberating through the room. Nobles and servants alike collapsed were they stood like headless chickens, and even Annis and Bayard crumpled over, unconscious.

In a flash, all the swords of Arthur's knights shot up toward the ceiling, suspended mid-air as if held by an unseen force, it also meant that Excalibur was no exception.

The only ones who weren't affected by the spell -because it had to be a spell- was himself , Merlin , Gwen and his knights of the round table.

Even Agravaine was slumped down on his face.

Just then, the entrance of the hall crashed open, and a dark figure clad in a black cloak walked languidly in, the figure appeared to be in no hurry, as if he was enjoying the moment.

The figure of a man reached the center of the hall and started to lower his hood, the beginnings of an evil smirk already showing, he opened his mouth to speak and a smooth yet sinister voice exclaimed,

"This is going to be so much fun."

Chapter Text

The grand throne room once filled with the hum of courtiers and the soft clink of armor, now lay in unnatural silence. 

Bodies of the court members lay slumped over, breathing but eerily still, like puppets with their strings cut. The only movement came from the flickering torches lining the stone walls, casting dancing shadows across the room.

Arthur stood from his seat, his breath quickening as his eyes darted from the motionless forms of his people to the figure at the center of the hall. The sorcerer held himself with a lazy air, as though the chaos around him was beneath his concern. 
Yet, the evil gleam in his eyes betrayed his true intent.

"What have you done?" Arthur's voice echoed in the now silent Hall, his hand instinctively reaching for his sword--only to be reminded that it was hanging from the ceiling like the rest of their weapons. His jaw tightened in frustration. 

Behind him, Arthur heard the soft clink of Merlin's boots he took a step forward, his presence steady but charged. Arthur didn't need to look back to feel the intensity of his friend's gaze, sharp and watchful, as they both waited for the sorcerer's next move. From the corner of his eyes , he could see the knights forming a protective circle around Gwen.  seeing this, he too took a slow step to shield Merlin better.

The Sorcerer seemed to notice him moving, however much he tried to hide it. He turned his head slowly, an amused smile on his face. "Oh, Arthur," he purred, "Aren't you going to let me introduce myself first? Where are your manners, Your Majesty?" his tone was dripping with mockery.

"No matter how you were wronged by camelot, your revenge is with me,"Arthur said, his voice steady despite the panic under his skin, "Leave my knights and servants out of this."

"Wronged?" he scoffed. "You call your father's knights butchering my family as if they were misbehaving pigs being "wronged"? No,  King Arthur, I'm afraid it is quiet more than that." He stepped closer , a thoughtful  expression appearing on his face ,“You see, I have no personal quarrel with you. But you are your father’s son. Delivering the point through you will suffice. The only shame …” His voice dropped to a venomous whisper. “…is that Uther died before I could personally light his pyre.”

Arthur drew in a slow breath, his fingers curling tightly at his sides. “I’m aware that my father’s stance against magic caused suffering for many. I do not deny that. But surely, you can see the difference between our rules. While magic remains outlawed, I have never ordered a pyre to be lit. I have never allowed a sorcerer to be executed.”

The sorcerer’s laugh was soft but dripping with disdain. “ how noble of you. So proud of your restraint.” He tilted his head, his mocking smile widening. “I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before you do. After all, a dog trained by Uther will eventually bite.”

"How dare you insult our King!" Sir leon shouted from the side , his face flushed with anger as he stepped forward clearly contemplating attacking with his bare hands,

The sorcerer barely spared him a glance, the mocking smile never leaving his lips. “Oh loyalty,” he drawled, turning his gaze back to Arthur as though Leon’s interruption was beneath his notice. “How quaint. Though I can’t say I’m surprised. Uther’s knights always did have a talent for barking louder than they bite, I'm afraid without their pointy sticks they will be useless."

“Stand down, Leon,” Arthur commanded, his voice firm but quiet. His eyes remained locked on the sorcerer, refusing to break eye contact “This isn’t your fight.”

“But, sire—”

“That’s an order,” Arthur snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. He watched in his peripheral as Leon reluctantly stepped back, his anger simmering just beneath the surface but controlled for now.

The sorcerer chuckled, shaking his head.  “How long do you think that control will last when the choice I offer tears your perfect little world apart?”

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I’ve been watching you, Arthur. For a long time now," the sorcerer began,  "You and your pretty little circle of loyal knights. And I must admit, I’m quite proud of my observations. By now, I know exactly who holds the closest places in your heart."

He paused, and gave him a confused look as if he didn't understand what he saw then. “At first, it puzzled me. I’ll admit, it seemed almost… absurd. But also, amusing. You don’t hide your loved ones well, Your Majesty,” he said, his lips curling into a pleased smile. “And today, you’ll regret that carelessness.”

Arthur stiffened, feeling weary and unsettled, but he said nothing. The sorcerer’s grinned, his tone taking a playful edge. “don’t look so grim. I’m not that insensitive  as to rob you of everyone you hold dear. In fact, I’m a rather generous person. So, I’ll make you a deal. A good deal, really.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed, his voice hard. “What kind of deal?”

“Simple, really. I’ll let you save one of them, but who it will be is up to you.”

With a flick of his wrist, tendrils of dark energy erupted from the floor beneath Merlin and Gwen, twisting like sentient vines. They coiled around their arms and legs, dragging them forward toward the center of the room. Gwen let out a terrified scream, struggling against the invisible force.

“Gwen!” Elyan’s voice broke through as he surged forward, only to be thrown back by an unseen barrier. He hit the ground hard, gasping in anger as he saw his sister getting dragged.

“Elyan! Arthur!” Gwen shouted, her voice trembling with fear, but the sorcerer’s magic tightened its hold, pulling her further away.

Arthur’s heart sank as he watched them—Merlin' face paled as the tendrils tightened around him but he didn't make another move and no sound escaped his mouth, and Gwen, her terror palpable, tears streaming down her face.

“You’re insane,” Arthur spat, his voice trembling with restrained fury.

“Perhaps,” the sorcerer mused, tilting his head as though considering the accusation. “But I prefer to think of myself as… practical. You see, I could kill them both. But where’s the fun in that? A choice, Arthur. That’s far more interesting. Far more cruel.”

Arthur’s breath quickened, his chest heaving as he tried to keep his composure. “You can’t expect me to choose,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh, but I do,” the sorcerer replied, his voice sharp. “Think of it as a lesson, Your Majesty. A lesson in consequences. You don’t get to sit on that throne without making sacrifices. And today, you’ll make the ultimate one.”

He stepped closer, his gaze locking with Arthur’s. “So, who will it be? Your friend Gwen, Morgana's hand me down maid… or Merlin, your loyal shadow who has been by your side since the beginning.
Who Arthur? Which one of them will hunt your dreams for the rest of your days?”

The room seemed to grow colder, the air thick with dread as Arthur’s mind raced. He looked at them both, his heart breaking under the weight of the impossible decision. How could he do this to either of them? Arthur had always feared losing the people he loved, yet it seemed to happen over and over again, each loss crueler than the last. Everyone he cared about was ripped away, and now this choice was thrust upon him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t condemn Merlin or Gwen to such a fate. He’d rather die himself!

Losing Gwen... Gwen was—he hesitated, his thoughts tangled. Their relationship had always been complex, something between friendship and more, but lately, he wasn’t even sure where they stood. Even so, he couldn’t bear the thought of her dying like this, dragged into a nightmare because of him.

And then there was Merlin.

Arthur remembered his life before Merlin came to camelot. dull, quiet and most of all Lonely. At that time he had the bliss of not knowing a different life , he didn't know Merlin back then so it didn't matter , it was his normal routine,  just to act as befitting of his station , to be Prince Arthur of camelot.

But now that he experienced what life is with Merlin by his side throughout it all, he couldn't lose this , he couldn't lose him.

Arthur hadn't known this before but back then he was painfully lonely, it was almost pathetic, the one and only prince of camelot, lashing out at servants just to fill his days with something ,anything ; than to feel this aching loneliness.

After Merlin appeared in his life though.. It was almost like the first gulp of fresh air after drowning.

Suddenly, Arthur gained a purpose , training was more satisfying, hunting was more enjoyable, Suddenly,treating nobles and peasants alike with respect made more sense,

 Suddenly, life was worth living.

No.

He had the bliss of ignorance of not knowing a life without Merlin then , but now Living a life having lost him would be too unbearable. He's afraid he won't survive it.

“Time is of essence, Your Majesty,” the sorcerer sing-songed. “Choose wisely… or don’t. Either way, one of them will die today.”

“Arthur…” Merlin’s voice broke the silence, firm and unyielding despite the tendrils tightening around him. “Choose me!” he demanded, his tone carrying a stubborn edge. “You can’t let Gwen die. It has to be me.”

“Shut up, Merlin!” Arthur snapped, his voice sharp and trembling. He turned to his servant, his eyes blazing with anger and desperation. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do. Not now!”

Merlin met his gaze, his expression unwavering. “You know I’m right,” he pressed. “Gwen… she’s the future of Camelot, Arthur. She has to live.”

Arthur’s throat tightened, his head shaking as if to block out Merlin’s words. “No! Don’t put this on me! You think I can just stand here and let you die? After everything you’ve done for me? For Camelot?” His voice cracked, and he took a shaky step forward, only to halt as the sorcerer raised a hand, a silent warning.

“Touching,” the sorcerer drawled, his eyes glittering with dark amusement. “ Watching the threads of your little family unravel is quite... entertaining. But we don't have all day.”

Arthur ignored him, his gaze fixed on Merlin. “Stop it, Merlin. Just stop,” he said, his voice breaking. “I can’t—”

“You can,” Merlin interrupted, his voice softening but losing none of its determination. “You have to. You’re the king, Arthur. Camelot needs you to make the hard choices. And this…” He drew in a ragged breath, the magic vines tightening around his chest. “…this is my choice. Let it be me.”

“No!” Gwen’s voice rang out,  fearful but filled with resolve. “You can’t, Merlin! You can’t ask him to do that!” She struggled against the vines, her tear-streaked face turning toward Arthur. “Arthur, please…” 

“Just take me!” Arthur finally roared,  He turned to the sorcerer, his eyes blazing. “If you want vengeance, take me! Leave them out of this!”

The sorcerer raised an eyebrow, “I dare say that would be too simple. Too... unsatisfying. You see, your suffering is the point. Watching you destroy yourself with this choice—that is the justice I seek.”

Arthur had enough of this sick game, "It's either me or no one. If you hurt any of them I will hunt you down to the end of the earth, I won't rest until I finish you with my own hands! Do you understand? Or so help me--"

"Oh save it!" The sorcerer rolled his eyes with annoyance. "Such unnecessary dramatics, you are boring me, Arthur." He waved  a hand dismissively. " If you are too afraid to make the choice, then I'll make it for you."

"Don't!" Arthur shouted as he surged to where the sorcerer stood,only to be stopped mid-step by him, pinned in place he had no choice but to snarl at him. "Release them!"

"No, no.  None of that now. You had your chance to choose but your time is up. Let's see..." He turned his attention to Gwen and Merlin , both still held in the same place , Gwen held his gaze with hate in her eyes and Merlin looked down at him in defiance. "Who shall it be? the sweet Gwen or the loyal to a fault Merlin?"

"Don't you dare!" Arthur struggled against the force holding him back with everything he had. The knights were the same as him all screaming with rage and fighting to reach the sorcerer. But it was of no use , they were all helpless.

“While I’m sure the girl dying would break your heart,” he paused, his eyes carrying a victorious glint, “call it intuition, but I have an inkling that killing the servant… well, that will break everything that you are.”

“No!” Arthur’s roar was primal, raw with fury and despair. “Please! I will do anything!”

"I think that will do. Say your good byes, Merlin."

Merlin locked eyes with Arthur, his expression steady despite the panic flashing in his eyes. “It’s okay, Arthur,” he said quietly, his voice trembling but resolute. “It’s okay.”

Arthur has never experienced such helplessness before, part of him was going mad with how panicked he felt watching the sorcerer direct his hands towards Merlin's body, ready to fire a spell. the other part of him was feeling numb, as if what is happening at this moment was just a scene out of Arthur's darkest nightmares.

"Þū scealt forþfēran nū, sāwol þīn tō eorðan!"

With the spell complete , a dark energy shot from the sorcerer’s outstretched hand, striking Merlin square in the chest.

Merlin gasped, his body seizing as the dark magic wrapped around him like chains. His eyes widened, but he couldn’t break free. Arthur watched, helpless, as Merlin’s knees buckled, his breath coming in ragged gasps."Arth..ur." 

He could feel from where he stood how erratically Merlin’s body was trembling, how painful it must be for him.

That painful look in Merlin's eyes is what broke the numbness Arthur was feeling.

“MERLIN!” Arthur screamed, but it was too late. Merlin fell on the floor of the throne room, The light in his eyes dimmed as he collapsed to the floor with a sickening thud.

Chapter Text

Arthur could see the final gasp of weak breath slip Merlin's lips from where he stood.

He didn’t move at first. Couldn’t. The spell still held him in place. But even without its grip, he knew he wouldn’t have taken a single step forward.

His mind refused to accept what his eyes had just witnessed. 

Alistair watched Arthur, his eyes drinking in the despair and horror etched across the young king’s face. He glanced down at Merlin’s body—almost with pity, as if he regretted that this had been the only way.

“Your beloved servant is gone. Tsk tsk. Such a pity. He was so loyal too! I doubt you will ever be able to replace him.”

Arthur’s head snapped up. “You… I’ll kill you.”

“You may try,” Alistair said softly. But this time, there was no mockery in his voice. He looked at Merlin again, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.

“I told you my mission would end today. And so it has.”

“I was never meant to walk away from this. I didn’t want to,” he said quietly. “I have done what needed to be done. My vengeance is fulfilled. Your suffering… will echo for years. That is enough for me.”

He smiled, satisfied with how it had all unfolded.

“Stop!” Arthur shouted.

“I can now join your father, wherever he may be. I know I won’t be going anywhere good,” Alistair murmured, his voice hollow. “But I’ll go gladly, knowing I took my revenge on his son.”

He whispered a final incantation. Dark magic curled around him like smoke. And then, before their eyes, he began to crumble into ash.

In a whirl of shadow and light, as suddenly as he had come, Alistair vanished—leaving behind only a scorched mark on the stone floor.

The invisible force pinning Arthur down faded away at once with Alistair gone,  The sorcerer was dead. there was nothing left of him for Arthur to chase.

The suspended weapons began to drop loudly and so did the spell blocking the knights and Gwen.

It took everything in him to move and drop to his knees beside Merlin. Trembling fingers reached out to the very still body on the floors,

“Merlin?” he whispered the name, barely audible,  his voice shaking.

He grasped Merlin’s shoulders, gently at first, and gave a light shake. “Merlin… wake up.”

“Wake up.”

His grip tightened. The shaking grew more franatic. “You idiot—wake up!”

Arthur waits. Nothing.

“No. No…” Arthur kept repeating, the words tumbling out like a madman’s mantra.

It was strange. No matter how many times he called or shook him, Merlin wouldn’t move. His eyes wouldn’t open. He didn’t tell Arthur off for being annoying—and that, more than anything, made it real.

“I need you to wake up. Please. Just open your eyes. Call me a clotpole. Say something. Anything.”

“Please.."

Behind him, there was the faint sound of footsteps, then Gwen’s soft voice.

“Arthur,” she said gently, kneeling beside him. “Let me try… let me feel his heart.”

Arthur didn’t move at first, her words not registering.

“Arthur,” she called again, touching his shoulder.

He finally blinked and let his hands fall away, his breath catching in his throat as he moved back slightly to give her space.

Gwen leaned in carefully, placing her fingers at Merlin’s neck. Her brow furrowed. Nothing. She tried again, placing her hand flat over his chest.

She stayed there for several seconds. Too long.

Then her hand faltered. Slowly, she pulled it back, her eyes glistening.

Arthur saw the change in her face and his stomach twisted into knots.

“Gwen?” 

Gwen shook her head slowly. Her voice cracked as she whispered, “I—I don’t feel anything.”

"You are wrong." He said defensively. He started to gather Merlin’s limp body in his arms, cradling his head in his hands. He is warm still.

If he is still warm, something can be done, right?

"Gods.. Arthur, I'm so sorry." Gwen choked out.

Arthur shook his head,"Stop it. He is still warm. I can feel it."

"Arthur."

"Please. Just stop." 

Gwen nodded quietly and rose to her feet, moving to stand with the knights, who had gathered together and were looking at him with grief.

From the corner of his eye, Arthur saw Gwaine—normally so full of life—crying silently, his shoulders trembling. But Arthur couldn’t turn to comfort him. Not now.

Not when he was on the verge of breaking into pieces.

He looked down at Merlin’s face. Merlin looked so peaceful, like he was only sleeping—just like the night before, when he’d drunk himself senseless and passed out in Arthur’s bed without a care in the world. His mouth had been slightly open then, a faint snore rising and falling with each breath, his limbs sprawled across the sheets in complete disregard of how vulnerable he left the King after his little speech.

Now, that same face was still. Too still.

Merlin didn't deserve this. it should have been Arthur's body laying broken on the ground. But not Merlin.

Never Merlin.

So why? Why did this happen?

Arthur sat back on his heels without a care for his numb legs -What part of him wasn't numb with grief?- staring at Merlin as though the answer might be written on his face. As if the stillness of his friend’s chest, the slackness of his features, could somehow explain why the world had just fallen apart.

The gap in his chest was widening, every breath ached, a phantom pain spreading from his heart to his ribs. It wasn’t just grief — it was something deeper, like part of him had been cut away. the best part of him had been cut away. 

He cradled Merlin’s body closer, trying to keep him warm for as long as he is could ,"I'm sorry," Arthur whispered again , His voice hoarse. He pressed his lips against Merlin’s temple and screwed his eyes shut, "I'm so sorry, Merlin." He faintly realizes that he's crying. he doesn't care.