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Chapter Text

SIMON

Taking a deep breath, Simon set his shoulders and started dragging his suitcase up the gangway of the ridiculous monstrosity that was The Crown of the Ocean. His bag clattered as the little wheels bounced over every tiny ridge. Inside his chest, a swirling mix of excitement, anticipation, and not a small amount of dread congealed to make his heart beat uncomfortably quickly.

The ship rose in front of him, an imposing colossus that would be his home for at least the next two months. He’d said his teary goodbyes to his mum and Sara and promised to text as often as the notoriously dodgy WiFi would allow. He knew that they would miss him terribly, and he would too, but he hadn’t been able to pass up the opportunity to spend two months at sea, singing almost every day. After the unpredictable performing gigs he’d had in between boring temp work in the few years since finishing uni, this was a welcome steady job, doing something he actually enjoyed.

Giddiness overtook the nerves as he entered the ship, unable to hold in a gasp at the splendid entrance way, two staircases curving up and away from a grand lobby.

There were what felt like hundreds of people milling around, mostly guests wearing completely inappropriate clothes for the decidedly moderate Swedish September weather outside, but a holiday is a holiday. Dotted amongst them were staff, noticeable by their uniforms: stiff burgundy blazers and starched white shirts.

Giving his suitcase another heave, he made his way over to the reception desk.

“Can I help you today?” asked an exceptionally bubbly person behind the desk. She had glorious curly dark hair and a dazzling smile. Her name badge read ‘Margot’.

“Hi,” he said, dragging his case to a halt beside him. “I’m Simon Eriksson. I’m supposed to start work today, I’m replacing—”

“Ah yes!” Margot said. “Just hold on one moment, I’ll call down to staff to get someone to come and escort you.”

Nodding, he stepped to the side whilst Margot lifted a phone to her ear and started dialling. After a brief conversation with someone, she replaced the handset and turned her winning smile back in his direction. 

“Wilhelm will be up momentarily. Can I just ask you to step to the side whilst you wait? Thank you, Simon.”

And with that he was dismissed. Simon awkwardly manoeuvred himself and his luggage around the queue of guests that had formed behind him and made himself as unobtrusive as possible at the side of the lobby.

He used the time to take in his surroundings. The vaulted ceiling held a huge chandelier, and Simon could count at least four floors with balconies looking down to where he was standing. The guests seemed to be mostly couples, some families and groups of friends, most seemed to be on the older side. Everyone exuded a sort of quiet wealth, with their subtle designer brands, shined shoes and coiffed hair. 

Simon looked down at his scuffed shoes, and wondered if they were the reason Margot had asked him to hide away. Or maybe it was the hoodie, or the fact that he’d slept funny last night and his hair was sticking up, or maybe—

“Simon Eriksson?”

Whipping round, Simon almost collided with a tall, handsome man in a burgundy jacket. He had slicked back hair, arresting brown eyes and an expensive watch peeking out from under his sleeve.

“Yes,” Simon said, quickly trying to correct his footing. “Yes, that’s me. Hi.”

The man extended his hand. “Wilhelm,” he said, offering Simon a small but sincere smile as they shook hands. “We’re slightly short-staffed today with it being a port day, so I’ll show you around. But you’ll be introduced to Felice, your manager, when she returns later.”

“Okay.” Simon wondered how many names he’d have to remember today. At least he’d already spoken to Felice on the phone.

“Follow me,” Wilhelm said, turning and starting to walk away at speed. Simon stumbled to keep up. “I’ll show you your quarters and get your contract sorted and give you your uniform. Your first shift starts at 20:00, so there’s plenty of time to get you settled. Just a four hour shift today. We leave port at 21:00 tonight and you’re working until midnight.”

Simon nodded and, slightly out of breath, said, “Yeah, great. Thanks.”

Wilhelm didn’t say anything else as they walked briskly down the corridor. He slowed a couple of times to nod to guests, but Simon could tell that he didn’t want to be waylaid. A sharp turn led them to a flight of stairs. Simon grabbed the handle of his case but his other hand was arrested in mid-air halfway to the bannister.

Simon looked up wide-eyed at Wilhelm, who was gripping Simon’s hand and smiling wryly. “Don’t hold the bannisters,” he said.

“Erm… why?” Simon asked, removing his hand from Wilhelm’s firm grip. 

“Because thousands of people touch them every day and I don’t want you signed off for the first week with norovirus.”

Recoiling, Simon grimaced and nodded. “Noted.”

Giving him another tight smile, Wilhelm descended the stairs ahead of Simon. “It’s the illness everyone gets on ships.”

“What, not scurvy?”

Wilhelm gave a bark of laughter, and Simon felt quite pleased to have broken through the stiff, professional façade.

“Eat plenty of citrus and you’ll be fine on the scurvy front.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Simon said, thinking back to his childhood when he was rarely seen without a clementine segment in his mouth and several more clutched in his fists.

Wilhelm sent him a curious look over his shoulder but didn’t comment further.

They descended three more carpeted staircases before they came to another with a chain across it. “This is the access to the staff quarters,” Wilhelm said, as he unhooked the chain. “We get the odd guest wandering down here. Some by accident, some just nosey.”

He stood to the side as Simon squeezed past him, this staircase was noticeably narrower. “Sorry,” Simon mumbled as he bumped Wilhelm’s abdomen with his elbow.

“No worries,” Wilhelm said, closing the chain behind them. He manoeuvred himself around Simon once more to take the lead. Simon did his best to press himself against the wall, but they still ended up alarmingly close. Wilhelm had freckles on his nose, Simon noticed.

Two more staircases, past the medical room, and Wilhelm led them onto a utilitarian looking corridor lined with doors.

“These are all the staff cabins,” he said. “You’re down this way, towards the bow.”

Front, Simon thought to himself, having tried to learn at least a bit of the lingo before leaving.

“Most people share with one other person, some have single rooms, but I’m afraid you’re not one of those lucky ones.”

“That’s fine,” Simon said. “I don’t mind sharing.”

He truly didn’t. He hoped he liked his roommate, but if not, he’d read that very little time was spent in the cabins doing anything other than sleeping anyway. He knew his work rota was exceptionally full-on, so he couldn’t imagine it would be too awkward if he and his cabin mate didn’t get along. 

They passed more and more doors with little numbers on them; Simon had lost count after they’d passed twenty, and Wilhelm still showed no sign of slowing down. He supposed there had to be a lot of staff on a ship this size.

Eventually they stopped outside a room bearing the number ‘314’. Wilhelm raised his hand and knocked. When there was no answer, he removed a key from his belt and unlocked the door.

“Is that a master key?” Simon said.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’ll give you your room key when we go to the office.”

Wilhelm held the door open for Simon who squeezed past him to get into the room. Simon was realising just how short on space this place was, and wondered if it was a bit ridiculous how much of his body had already touched Wilhelm’s when they’d known each other for less than ten minutes.

Wilhelm didn’t come into the room, but stood holding the door whilst he waited for Simon to deposit his bags. The room was miniscule, and windowless; Simon wasn’t quite sure how two people would be able to live in this space unless one person stayed permanently horizontal on the bed. 

The bunks were narrow and made up with pale blue bedding. The top bunk was neat and unruffled, whereas the bottom one had the sheets thrown haphazardly across the bed, fairy lights were strung across the wall and several polaroid photographs tacked above the pillow. Simon lifted his case onto the top bunk, that was a job for later. 

Turning back to Wilhelm, Simon bypassed the narrow desk, which had a laptop adorned with several stickers, one with a middle finger saying ‘Fuck The Patriarchy’, and the wardrobe, which was already crammed full of brightly coloured clothes. He wasn’t sure if he was excited or nervous to meet his cabin mate now that he’d had a glimpse into their personality.

“The bathroom is through there,” Wilhelm said, indicating a slim door to the left that Simon hadn’t noticed. “There’s a toilet, sink and shower. The rooms get cleaned once a week, but you have to keep on top of tidying, otherwise housekeeping can’t clean them. You need to strip your own beds and then you’ll be provided with clean bedding.”

Simon nodded and let Wilhelm pull the door shut behind them. “I’ll show you the laundry room on the way to my office. Everything else is back upstairs. You’ll eat in the main dining room. They prioritise guests unless you’ve got a shift, but the wait is never long. Your free time can be spent however you want, but bear in mind that a lot of the guests will know that you are staff; you’re expected to be a good representation of The Crown even in your down time. That means no alcohol, I’m afraid.”

“That’s fine, I don’t drink,” Simon said, still trying to keep up with Wilhelm’s long legs clad in distractingly snug trousers.

Wilhelm sent him another intrigued look, before continuing. “You get one day off a week, and shorter hours on port days. Since you’re part of the entertainment team, they’ll be in charge of your rota. The bar you’re allocated to doesn’t provide entertainment for all your working hours, so you’ll be given other work in between. Some time will be set aside for rehearsing with the band and sound check, especially as we cycle through musicians.”

“Cycle through?” Simon questioned.

“We have a lot of staff turnover,” Wilhelm said. (He really did walk very fast). “Most people’s contracts are for six months or so, but a lot of people don’t renew. It’s hard work and not for everyone. Your contract is only for two months this time, because you’re replacing someone that ended their employment early. If you choose to renew after those two months, it will be for six months next time.”

Simon nodded again. He hadn’t decided whether he would stay on yet. The whole prospect was quite daunting, but he was excited to have been given the opportunity and was looking forward to giving it a go.

“Here we are,” Wilhelm said. 

The door opened to a room filled with washing machines. It was exceptionally noisy and humid. Baskets piled with clothes littered the surfaces, and shelves holding detergent lined the walls.

“It’s kind of a free for all,” Wilhelm said. “People mostly get a machine when they need one, but sometimes you’ll have to come back. Careful not to overfill them.”

Simon watched as Wilhelm pushed his hair out of his face, the steam having made it fall forwards. Wilhelm caught him looking and smiled. It made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Shall we find you a uniform?”

Swallowing, slightly overwhelmed by the heat from the room, Simon nodded. 

Wilhelm led him amongst the clattering machines to a cupboard at the back of the room, which was stocked with burgundy jackets in clear plastic bags, piles of brand new white shirts and black trousers. 

“Sizes go from extra small at this end” - Wilhelm pointed to the left - “To XXXL at this end. What size do you think you’ll need?”

“Erm…” Simon said. He looked down at the clothes he was currently wearing: baggy jeans and an oversized hoodie that dropped halfway over his hands. 

“They’re not the best fit I’m afraid,” Wilhelm said.

Simon raised his eyebrow, trying to push down the thoughts about just how well-fitting Wilhelm’s trousers had looked from the back. He obviously didn’t hide them well enough, because Wilhelm cleared his throat and reached into the closet, pulling out a jacket. 

“Try this to start,” he said, pushing it into Simon’s hands.

Carefully laying it on the tumble dryer beside him, Simon pulled his hoodie off over his head. When his head reemerged, Wilhelm’s cheeks were pink and he was looking pointedly in the opposite direction. 

Huh, interesting, Simon thought. 

Cataloguing that to the back of his mind to overthink later, Simon shrugged the jacket onto his shoulders. It was a little bit big, but not awful. He stretched his arms out and straightened up the collar. 

Wilhelm had turned back, his face almost returned to its normal colour. He made a positive noise in the back of his throat. “That’s fine,” he said. “I’ll grab you some shirts. I’ll give you a couple of sizes of trousers and you can try them on back in the cabin. Just return the others when you get a chance.”

Simon shucked the jacket off and folded it over his arm, accepting the stack of shirts from Wilhelm.

Grabbing a few pairs of trousers, Wilhelm gestured back the way they had come. “Shall we?”

Obediently, Simon followed Wilhelm once more, this time he managed to match pace. “So you said you’re not my manager?”

“That’s right,” Wilhelm said. “You’re under Felice. She’s the Cruise Director and manages the entertainment team. Singers, dancers, that sort of thing. We hold a show twice a week, you’ll sometimes be roped into that, but in general I think she has you in The Apex, the bar on the top deck. We have a singer on in there every night from 20:00 until 22:00. She’ll discuss your set list with you. She’ll work alongside August who organises the bar team to fill the rest of your time where you’re needed. Everyone needs to be a bit of a jack-of-all-trades here.”

“That’s fine,” Simon said, following Wilhelm around a corner. “I’ve worked bar jobs before.”

“That’s good,” Wilhelm said, smiling. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in then.”

A pleased warmth spread through Simon’s chest at the words. He found himself suddenly desperate to prove himself to this man, and the faceless people that had been mentioned.

“What team do you manage?” Simon asked, wondering how he’d ended up being given a tour by neither of the people who would be managing his rota.

“Oh, I don’t,” Wilhelm said. They’d now turned several corners and Simon was well and truly lost.

“You don’t…?”

“I’m not a manager,” he said. “I, uhm…” That was the first time Simon had heard Wilhelm falter over anything he’d said. “My mother owns the company.”

“Your mother—”

“Owns the company,” Wilhelm repeated. “There’s a fleet of three ships. I’m on this one as kind of her representative.”

“Huh,” Simon said, suddenly sceptical. “Her representative?”

Wilhelm nodded, not meeting Simon’s eye as he continued to walk.

“So you’re everyone’s boss?”

“I’m actually no one’s boss,” Wilhelm said. “I just— help out.”

Simon had so many things to say about that, but decided that half an hour into his first day was the wrong time to be questioning the running of the whole thing. So he pursed his lips and said nothing.

Although he must have had a terrible poker face, because Wilhelm gave him a knowing smile and quirk of his eyebrow before unlocking another door and pulling it open.

“This is me,” he said.

The first thing Simon noticed was that Wilhelm’s office was about three times the size of his whole cabin. It was still fairly minimalist, and the furniture looked like it had seen a few years at sea. But there was space for a desk, two chairs, and a low cabinet. The desk had a ceramic frog sitting beside his computer and a snowglobe containing another frog wearing a crown.

“Seems risky having breakables on your desk,” Simon said, as he took the seat Wilhelm indicated.

“They’re glued down,” Wilhelm said, gently touching the tips of his long fingers to the ornament’s head as he rounded the desk to his own chair. 

“Learned the hard way?” Simon asked, as Wilhelm tapped a few things on his computer.

“No, I’d just rather not have to deal with smashed ornaments on rough sea days.” 

And that was fair enough. Simon was prevented from having to find a way to respond when the printer whirred into action. Wilhelm removed his blazer before leaning over and retrieving the printouts.

Simon watched Wilhelm’s shoulders stretch through his shirt as he grabbed them, and felt a blush rise to his cheeks.

For fuck’s sake, Simon, he thought. Now is not the time. 

If Wilhelm noticed anything in Simon’s face, he didn’t say anything. He rifled through a pile of paper on his desk and pulled out a stapled bundle, pushing it over to Simon along with the printouts. “This is your contract as well as this week’s timesheet. I assume Felice ran you through the basics when she spoke to you on the phone?” Simon nodded. “If you can just have another quick read through whilst you’re here and sign on the last page. If you have any questions, let me know.”

Simon took the papers and started flicking through. As with every work contract he’d ever read, it was full of lots of legal jargon, and wild scenarios that would likely never happen. Boring things like length of service, non-compete clauses, rules around mobile phone usage, interpersonal relationships, sick days and holidays. Unlike every other contract, it included information about maritime laws, lifeboat locations, and the strict rules around alcohol consumption. 

But Wilhelm was right, Felice had already gone through most of it with him, so not five minutes later, Simon interrupted Wilhelm’s typing by pushing the contract across his desk. “Done,” he said.

Taking the pages, Wilhelm checked to make sure everything was in order. “Fantastic,” he said. “Okay, you’re free to go. Felice will come and collect you from your cabin in an hour to show you where to go for your first shift, so you’ve got some time to get settled.” Wilhelm reached into a drawer and slid a key over to him. “Welcome aboard, Simon.”

Suppressing a snort, Simon shook the hand that Wilhelm offered and left the office, feeling only slightly disappointed that Wilhelm wasn’t going to be escorting him back to his room. 

—

After only making two wrong turns on his way back through the bowels of the ship, Simon spent his time in the cabin unpacking his small case. There was still no sign of his cabin mate, so he just made some assumptions about where he could put his things and figured he could ask them when they met. 

He was just getting bored of staring at the four walls in this really very tiny room when there was a knock on the door. Simon hopped down off his bunk and pushed it open. 

The woman standing on the other side had lots of curly dark hair held at the nape of her neck with a burgundy scrunchie to match her jacket. She was wearing a warm smile and holding her hand out for him to shake. “Felice,” she said, gripping his hand. “Welcome aboard.”

Simon didn’t think it was the right moment to say that that greeting was starting to feel slightly like he was starring in a horror film. “Simon,” he said as he dropped his arm back to his side. 

“Nice to meet you, Simon. Ah, I see Wille has already got you sorted with your uniform. Perfect.”

Wille, Simon thought. The nickname suited the slightly flustered man who had been not-so-subtly checking him out in the laundry room, even if it didn’t quite match the brusque version that had frog-marched them the length of the ship. 

“If you want to follow me, I’ll show you The Apex. I’ll also introduce you to some of the rest of the team.”

Simon nodded, pushed the door shut behind him and started following Felice down the corridor. She also walked quickly. He wondered if it came from working somewhere with quite so many monotonous corridors.

“Your cabin mate is Maddie. She’s part of the kids’ team, so you’ll keep fairly different hours. You’ll get pretty good at sleeping through anything though. If you have any problems, just get in touch with HR. But honestly, Maddie is a sweetheart, so hopefully the two of you manage okay. Did Wille explain how your shifts will work?”

Wille. Simon could definitely get used to the sound of that name.

“Yeah, he did,” he said. “20:00 until midnight tonight, is that right?” Simon had lost track of the number of doors again.

“We’ll have you come up at 19:30 to get set up, your set starts at 20:00. Since it’s been a port day today, the bar will likely be less busy, on a sea day you won’t be able to move for patrons. But you’ll see that tomorrow. For tonight, the rest of your shift will just be training, learning the ropes. Tomorrow you’ll have your compulsory safety briefing along with a couple of other new starters. That’s at 10:00 for an hour. Then your first proper shift is tomorrow: 14:00 until midnight.”

Simon held back a comment, he knew when he’d signed on that this would be long hours. He’d spent some time trawling the internet for first-hand accounts of working aboard cruise ships. He’d also asked on Reddit and had mixed feedback; one thing that seemed unanimous was that the hours were long. But people were quick to say that not having to do your own cooking and cleaning negated a lot of that. And the almost zero commute. 

Felice must have sensed his trepidation because she shot him a friendly smile. “Don’t worry,” she said. “We have a blast, you’ll barely even notice you’re working, I promise.”

Once they had ascended the stairs once more - Simon remembering to not touch the bannisters as per Wilhelm’s advice - he noticed Felice pull on her customer-facing persona. She greeted several guests by name and even tolerated some overt flirting from several leery men. 

Simon followed her up the curved staircase that wound away from the lobby. She pointed out various things as they passed - “That’s the shop, you get an employee discount. The casino is down that way. That corridor leads to the main bar area and the biggest of the dining rooms, that’s where you’ll eat. The leisure facilities - spa and pool - are just down there. Up that staircase are the more exclusive suites and their restaurant.”

Gazing around, wide-eyed, Simon tried to retain as much as possible as he followed her up yet more staircases and down more corridors.

“I wish the carpet wasn’t all the same,” he joked, weakly, as she led him down a corridor that looked identical to the previous three. 

Felice laughed. “You’ll get used to it quickly enough,” she said. “Here, this is us.”

She pushed open doors into a swanky-looking bar area. There were huge windows spanning one entire wall, looking out into the ocean. Several booths were laid out underneath, each with a candle in the centre of the table. A few guests were sitting at the bar, twirling straws around their drinks. Felice led Simon over to the left, where a small stage was raised a few centimetres off the ground in front of a dancefloor. 

There was a microphone and keyboard already set up in front of a black curtain. Stepping up onto the stage, Felice held open the curtain for him to step through.

“This is our backstage area. I know it’s not much, but it’s usually enough for a breather in the middle of your set and for the sound team to sort your mic if you don’t use the standing one.”

“That’ll depend if I use a guitar or not. There is— is there a guitar?”

“Yes,” Felice said. “It should be… Ah yes, over there.” She pointed around the corner where there were several amps, a guitar, and what looked like half a drum kit.

“We tend to raid the instruments for the shows. Sorry,” she said. “Usually if you ask, we can make sure the right equipment is around. But you wanted the keyboard tonight, yeah?”

He nodded. “Is the setlist okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, looks great,” Felice said. “I’ll work with you on some other ones too, I know it was all a bit late notice. But it’ll be a great start tonight. I think it’ll go down really well.”

Simon looked around at the modest backstage area. He could see a mirror and some makeup stashed in a corner, a small curtain on a rail that could be changed behind, and a stack of sheet music.

“I’d like to introduce you to August before the evening rush starts. He’s the Hotel Director and manages the bar staff rota and will be the one giving you bar shifts in between your sets. He sometimes tries to poach the entertainment staff, but don’t worry, I’ll fight for you.” She winked at him. “I’m just joking, he’s alright.”

As it turned out, Simon did not think that August was ‘alright’. Simon thought that August was a pompous asshole who thought he was better than everyone else, especially Simon. Unfortunately, he was technically the ‘big boss’, so Simon knew he’d have to bite his tongue.

By the end of their introduction, Simon was left with a bitter taste in his mouth, and a revolted look on his face that he had to shake off lest he put the guests off for his first set. Felice left him to go and grab some dinner before he was expected back up at the bar.

Simon was too nervous to eat much, managing some pasta and bread. He grabbed two clementines on his way out in case he got hungry after his set. He smiled to himself as he remembered his conversation with Wilhelm earlier. 

The nerves carried him all the way through his sound check, where a few guests were milling around to listen, and right up to the moment he needed to start. He saw Felice nod to him from the back corner as he leant up to the microphone to introduce himself.

Settling himself down behind the keyboard, he took a deep breath to steady himself. When he looked back up, he saw that Wilhelm had joined Felice and was whispering something in her ear. That did not help with the anxiety bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Felice dropped her hand on Wilhelm’s arm and gave him a warm smile, before pressing a kiss to his cheek and heading to the door. Before she pushed through it, she sent Simon a tiny thumbs up.

Simon didn’t really have time to analyse the interaction he’d just seen, which on the surface very much looked like the intimate relationships that his contract had had lots of small print about. But he shook that thought away and launched into his first song. 

Three songs in, Simon was really getting into the swing of things. He chanced a glance around the room and noticed that most people weren’t paying much attention. He’d also been warned about this, that the entertainment was often just something that blended into the background, like elevator music; nothing at all like the few gigs he’d had back home.

That was fine, Simon could deal with that. He was fairly confident he was doing a good job. The lady in the booth to the left certainly seemed to be enjoying herself; she looked younger than the majority of the guests and seemed to be trying to prove that with her red lipstick and alarmingly high heels. She even sent him a small wave as he paused to have a drink of water, the bracelets on her wrist jangling. As he lowered his bottle, he noticed that Wille was still in the back corner, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He looked unfairly attractive like that, Simon thought. 

Placing his bottle on the ground, Simon started up with his fourth song. This one was a bit more his style, and he enjoyed belting the chorus. People definitely noticed the difference as well, Simon saw several guests from booths further up turning to watch, and a few more appreciative glances. The lady with the bracelets even started shimmying her shoulders in a sort of dance. 

What Simon hadn’t bargained on, was catching Wille’s eye as he sang the outro. Wille was staring at him with his mouth slightly agape. It would have been comical if it hadn’t made Simon’s heart speed up just a little bit.

As Simon’s voice faded to mark the end of the song, Wille seemed to shake himself out of whatever state he’d been in, pursed his lips, and left hastily through the door that Felice had disappeared through. Simon was partly glad, he hadn’t really expected management to be watching his whole set; but at the same time, he had secretly been enjoying a little bit of attention from the hot-boss-guy in his exceptionally snug trousers.

The rest of Simon’s set went without a hitch. Halfway through, there were a few cheers as the ship started moving, albeit at a very slow pace, as it manoeuvred out of port. After he’d cleared the stage, Simon headed to the bar for his short shift before he could go to bed.

He lifted the bar counter and stepped through it, replacing it after himself. There were two people already hard at work, pouring drinks, chatting to guests, cleaning up. Simon tried to go up to one of them to ask where he was needed, but felt the floor lurch slightly under his feet. Stumbling, he gripped the counter for support. 

One of the other bartenders, who had remained stoically upright, snorted. “You’ll get your sea legs soon,” he said over his shoulder. “Grab that box down there would you?”

And so Simon was set to work. This was considerably more tiring than the singing had been, and by the end of his shift, he was more than ready to just fall into bed. His shirt was sticky with the residue from the couple of drinks he’d spilt when the floor had moved differently than he’d expected it to. Luckily the patrons were understanding, and bracelets-lady didn’t seem to find it off-putting enough to not come back several times during his shift.

Simon placed his hand on the wall as he meandered his way back to his room. He vaguely wondered if this was what being drunk felt like. It wasn’t particularly pleasant, and made his body feel weird. It appeared he was alone in his struggle though, most people were walking through the corridors with ease; he supposed you got used to it after a while.

As he unlocked the door to his cabin, stomach feeling less than ideal, he was half expecting to be greeted by an enthusiastic roommate, but the light was still off, Maddie seemingly having not returned from her shift yet. Or maybe she was having a night out. Or a hookup. Without knowing her, Simon had no frame of reference; he couldn’t help but be pleased that he didn’t have to do any small talk before brushing his teeth and clambering into bed.

WILLE

Wille liked sea days. He liked not having to wander the lobby as much, he liked the gentle lull of the ship as it rode the waves, he liked being mostly left alone.

Wille particularly liked this sea day, because it was accompanied by fairly pleasant daydreams about their newest member of staff. Felice had told Wille from his application that Simon was charming, beautiful and talented, and had jokingly warned him not to fall in love. He’d scoffed that he wasn’t susceptible to pretty faces, he’d seen more than his fair share of those pass through this ship over the past five years and he’d barely turned his head.

But none of them had been Simon. And Felice was going to be so smug about it. Wille had been mostly fine - agreeing with Felice in his head that Simon certainly was charming and beautiful - managing to get through having Simon’s body pressed against him several times on the trip down to the staff quarters. Until he’d had to watch Simon remove his hoodie to try on his uniform, and he’d seen a tiny sliver of abdomen under the t-shirt that had ridden up. A smooth, soft-looking abdomen with a trail of dark hair leading—

Wille had to cut his thoughts off again. Shifting himself in his chair, he tried to focus on the boring paperwork in front of him without his thoughts drifting to Simon again. It was almost impossible, because as well as being utterly gorgeous, and apparently very much Wilhelm’s type, he’d also got a phenomenal voice (which he supposed Felice had covered in the ‘talented’ part). But not even just that, he had such an electric stage presence, that Wille had been glued to the spot way past the promised ‘one song’ that he told Felice he’d sit in on. 

Wille thought he’d most played it cool at the start of Simon’s set, but he was fairly sure Simon had noticed his ogling by the end of his fourth song. So Wille had hotfooted it out of there, and decided to make himself scarce for the rest of the evening.

And that wasn’t too difficult. It was unlikely that his and Simon’s paths would ever really cross. He had been truthful yesterday when he’d said he wasn’t anyone’s manager. They had a good team, and the managers tended to keep to themselves. Wille’s job was usually to be his mother’s eyes and ears for big decisions, exceptionally dry paperwork for the company, and smiling in photographs with the captain and any particularly important guests. 

Wille was just lamenting this fact when the ringing of his phone jolted him to attention. His stomach lurched apprehensively. It was almost always his mother. He toyed with the idea of ignoring it, but decided her wrath if he avoided her would likely be worse than whatever she was bothering him with this morning.

“Hello?” 

“Wille,” came Felice’s voice down the phone, she sounded slightly breathless. He glanced at the timetable tacked to the wall and saw that she should be in rehearsals for tomorrow’s performance. They’d managed to bag a z-list celebrity for this one, and it was Felice’s job to shoehorn them into the already prepared show. “Are you busy?”

“Phenomenally,” he said, drily. Felice knew as well as he did that his job was mostly made up. “Not at all,” he amended. “What’s up?”

“Simon didn’t show up for his safety training. It started twenty minutes ago.”

“Okay,” Wille said. Staff absence was not even close to his remit, so he wasn’t really sure why she was calling him.

“He didn’t strike me as the flaky type,” she said. Wille could hear a clattering through the speaker and assumed Felice was juggling several things in her actual hands, as well as just her brain. “Maddie stayed out last night so couldn’t say where he was. Do you mind just going to check on him?”

“He probably just got lost, Felice,” he said, but he was already reaching for his jacket. “You know what this place is like for newbies.”

“I know,” she said. “But if you don’t mind, it’d be one thing fewer for me to worry about.”

“Fine, I’ll go and find him.” His blazer was already on.

“Thanks, Wille. Love you.” And then she was gone.

Wille chuckled to himself as he replaced the handset and stepped out from behind his desk. Felice had been the one good thing to come out of this job. Well, that and the excuse to not see his family for several months at a time. Unfortunately, they were still on the other end of a phone though, so he was counting Felice as his biggest win.

Striding through the hallway, Wille wondered how he was supposed to find Simon, who was almost certainly lost in the maze of corridors above deck. But he decided to check his room first to make sure he’d not just slept in or something. 

Stopping at door 314, he raised his hand to knock. There was no answer.

“Simon?” he called through the door. 

Wille thought he could hear a noise, but then it fell silent again.

He knocked again. “Simon,” he said. “Your safety briefing started twenty minutes ago, I just wanted to make sure you’d not forgotten?”

There was definitely a noise then, an indistinct shuffle, and potentially a groan. Oh God. Had Simon brought someone back last night and Wille was interrupting them? He hesitated. He really didn’t want to know if there was someone else in there with Simon, but at the same time, missing work for a hookup was really not the best start.

So Wille knocked one last time. “Simon?” 

This time there was definitely a groan, and then, very quietly, “Wille?”

Wille’s heart lurched in his chest. “Yeah?” he called through the door.

There was no response, just another muffled groan. 

Shit, Wille thought. It didn’t sound good. Maybe Simon had had a few too many drinks after his shift last night. Wille knew the staff mostly ignored the no alcohol rule, but then he remembered that Simon had said he didn’t drink. Maybe he’d fallen out of the narrow bunk bed and banged his head. Shitshitshit.

“Simon,” he said again. “Is everything okay?”

Another groan.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

Wille almost never used his master key. The housekeeping staff all had one, but everyone knew the cleaning rota and were able to easily be out of their rooms when the staff came round. He only hesitated briefly before slipping it into the lock and turning it.

The door swung open to reveal the cramped room he’d shown Simon round yesterday. And Simon. Wedged half in and half out of the bathroom, sprawled on the floor, with his head hung over the toilet bowl.

“Oh fuck,” Wille said, covering his nose and mouth with his hand.

Simon just moaned quietly. 

“Are you— are you okay?”

Simon managed to let out a very weak chuckle at that.

So not okay then. Stupid question, Wilhelm. 

Wille dropped down to his knees and shuffled close to Simon, trying not to breathe through his nose. Tentatively, he reached out and touched Simon’s upper arm. His skin was clammy to the touch, slightly cold, with a sheen of sweat. Wille could see now that Simon’s t-shirt was clinging to him, and there was a horrible looking stain on the front.

“Hey,” Wille said.

Simon lifted his head slightly. Wille took that as a good sign and continued. “I’m going to help you up okay. Do you think you can move?”

“No,” Simon mumbled. “I think I need to stay on the floor of this bathroom forever.”

Wille chuckled under his breath. Okay, so Simon was coherent enough for snarky comments. That was also a good sign. Placing his hands under Simon’s armpits, Wille tugged him to a seated position. 

Simon looked dreadful. The skin on his face was pale and drawn, his eyes were bleary and it looked like he couldn’t focus properly. Wille could see his hands shaking as he placed them weakly in his lap.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice trembling slightly.

“Have you tried drinking some water?” Wille asked.

Simon nodded and winced. “I can’t keep anything down. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I felt fine yesterday. I promise I didn’t touch the bannisters. And I only had the pasta for…” He trailed off, seemingly too tired to finish the thought.

Wille sighed. “I assume it’s seasickness,” he said. Lots of people got slightly seasick, it wasn’t unusual for guests to be hit with it on particularly choppy days, or in notoriously rough waters. But some people were especially sensitive, and it looked like Simon was one of those people. 

Simon’s face had fallen. “But I’ve never been seasick before.”

“I assume you’ve never been on a ship this size before,” Wille said. “The movement’s different. Don’t worry, when it hits this early, it often means it goes away when your body gets used to the movement. You might be in for a rough day or so though.”

Simon groaned and went, if possible, even paler. “I don’t think I can throw up any more,” he said. “I think I’ve run out of organs.”

Wille laughed softly. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll see if I can get you something from med bay. It might only take the edge off though if you’re this bad.”

“I will take literally anything,” Simon said.

“Okay,” Wille nodded. “Let’s get you up and somewhere comfortable and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I think I need to stay near the toilet,” Simon said. “I don’t really want to be vomiting from a top bunk.”

“Good point,” said Wille. He looked into the cramped bathroom. And the toilet that definitely needed nuclear decontamination of some sort. “Do you think you can walk a little way?”

“To med bay?” Simon asked, looking hopeful.

Shaking his head, Wille said, “I’m afraid not. They have very limited space and won’t have you in for seasickness. But I can take you to my cabin. The bathroom is bigger than this one. And it’s closer to the centre of the ship, so it doesn't move as much.”

Wille hoped that Simon couldn’t see the blush on his cheeks, but it seemed that he was currently trying to suppress another wave of nausea and had his eyes closed. Taking a subtle step backwards, Wille waited for Simon to open his eyes.

“I think I can walk,” he said. “Do you have a bucket just in case?”

After rummaging around in the supply cupboard a few doors down, Wille came back brandishing a bucket. Simon had his head in the toilet once more, so Wille waited for him to finish before handing him a towel to allow him to clean up as best as possible.

Once Simon felt ready, Wille placed two hands under his armpits again and hoisted him up. Simon was exceptionally light, but Wille still stumbled a bit, because it seemed Simon couldn’t really hold his own weight at all. Groaning, Simon leant his forehead onto Wille’s shoulder and Wille held his upper arms to keep him steady.

“Take your time,” Wille said in a soothing voice. “Let me know when you’re ready to move.”

They stayed like that for a minute or two whilst Simon tried to get his nausea under control, but eventually he nodded, and Wille manoeuvred them so that he could slide his arm under Simon’s shoulders and hold him upright. Simon leant all his weight on Wille, gripping the front of Wille’s jacket with his hands.

So they made their slow way down the corridor; Wille holding Simon up with one arm and clutching the bucket in front of them with the other. Feverishly, he hoped that Simon didn’t vomit on the way, he could just about cope with the toilet, but wasn’t sure he wouldn’t just drop Simon to the floor and run if he threw up into the bucket. 

Luckily, it seemed that Simon’s body was cooperating for now, and although it took them ten times longer than it normally would have done, they eventually made it to Wille’s room.

“Bed or bathroom?” Wille asked, as he closed the door behind them.

“Bathroom,” Simon said, apparently having used all his energy on getting here.

Wille lowered him to the ground on the floor of his considerably bigger bathroom and placed the bucket nearby.

He grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the tap, placing it beside Simon.

“I’ll go down to med bay now and see what they can give you. Will you be okay here?”

Simon nodded and attempted a small smile. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem. I’ll be back really soon okay?”

Wille had never run to the medical bay as quickly as he did then. Sliding to a halt in front of the door, he knocked before pulling it open.

He vaguely recognised the doctor on duty, but as with the rest of the staff, there was a high turnaround, and in any case, Wille was too frantic to notice much. After explaining the situation, and insisting that Simon was in no fit state to make it to the med bay himself, the doctor asked Wille lots of questions he didn’t know the answer to before handing Wille the medication he had asked for.

Running the whole way back, he wrenched open the door to Simon heaving over his toilet bowl. Wille’s own insides clenched at the sound, but he tried to tamp it down as he knelt beside Simon and placed a hand on his back.

“Hey,” he said. “How are you doing?”

The resulting groan was answer enough. When Simon finally sat back, he wiped a shaky hand across his mouth. “I tried to drink some water,” he said. “My stomach did not approve.”

Wille gave him a gentle smile and held up the pill packet. “I got the meds,” he said. “But we do really need to be trying to get some water into you too, otherwise you’ll get dehydrated.”

Opening the box, Wille pulled out the instructions and tried to scan them as quickly as possible to check he remembered how they worked. Simon had closed his eyes and was leaning against the wall with his head tilted back, his breathing shallow.

“Huh,” Wille said, “Technically you’re supposed to take it before you travel, or immediately at the onset of symptoms. But we’ve missed that boat. Ha!”

Simon did not laugh, in fact Wille wasn’t convinced he wasn’t asleep.

Carefully, Wille popped one of the pills out of its bubble pack and reached for the glass of water. Nudging the glass against Simon’s hand he said, “Hey, try to take this. It’ll really help.”

Simon blinked his eyes open, looking at Wille blearily. “Thanks,” he said, taking the pill and the water.

Wille watched as Simon took several deep breaths before placing the tablet on his tongue, and the glass to his face. The moment the water touched his lips his body moved involuntarily towards the toilet bowl once more.

Making soothing noises as he stroked Simon’s back, Wille took the drink and placed it down as Simon spat the saliva out of his mouth.

“Urgh,” Simon mumbled. “Sorry.”

Wille chuckled. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

Simon groaned as he leant back again. 

“I don’t think that one counts,” Wille said. “Let me know when you want to try again.”

Eyes closed, Simon nodded. 

Unsure of what to do, Wille lowered himself to the floor on the opposite side of the bathroom. Despite this room being significantly bigger than the one in Simon’s cabin, it was still very small. Wille was careful not to jostle Simon as he stretched his legs out.

“Don’t you have important ship stuff to be doing?” Simon asked, eyes still closed.

Shaking his head, Wille laughed lightly. “I told you. I just help out. And my job at the moment is making sure our newest recruit doesn’t choke on his own vomit, or die of dehydration.”

A small smile crept onto Simon’s lips, which were chapped and pale. 

“How did you know to look for me?”

“Felice reported you absent for your safety briefing. She was worried because she said you didn’t seem the type to skip, so sent me to find you.”

Simon nodded but didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a long time, Simon drifting in and out of sleep, Wille not really knowing how to help but also not wanting to leave Simon alone.

Eventually, they managed to get one of the seasickness pills into Simon without him throwing it back up. 

“Do you want to be somewhere more comfortable?” Wille asked after a while.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Simon said.

“You’ve not thrown up for an hour,” Wille said. “Maybe the worst of it is over? Or maybe the drugs are working. You have to take another one this evening and then one every evening after that.”

Simon took a breath in through his nose. “Okay then,” he said. “I’m not sure how far I can walk though.”

“It’s okay,” Wille said. “I’ll just take you to my bed.”

It was testament to how ill Simon was that he didn’t say anything to that. Wille was mentally kicking himself for the wording he had used, but Simon seemed unfazed, willing to let Wille gently hoist him up and half carry, half support him to the bed.

Wille’s bed was also bigger than Simon’s, and not a bunk. The idea of having to help Simon onto that thing was fairly daunting, so Wille was glad he had agreed to this solution.

Grabbing the bucket and placing it beside the bed, Wille perched on the edge. Simon had curled onto his side and was clutching the covers to his chest. Wille wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke his sweaty curls away from his face, but given that they’d already crossed several casual-acquaintance slash weird-employee-dynamic slash only-met-less-than-24-hours-ago lines, he didn’t want to push it.

Instead, Wille filled the glass with water once more and placed it on the small nightstand. 

“Will you be okay here if I head back to work?” Wille asked.

Simon hummed in agreement and kept his eyes closed.

“There’s a phone on the desk,” he said. “I’ll write down the extension for my office, and Felice’s and the med bay. You can also dial zero for reception. Please let me know if you need anything.”

Another hum.

Wille hesitated by the door, wondering if he should delegate his responsibilities for the day and just stay here. But Simon looked tired, and would probably appreciate an opportunity to just sleep it off a bit. He knew from other accounts that sleep was often the best reset for seasickness.

So he fought against the pull, and quietly closed the door behind him, striding away from the room with a weird ache in the pit of his stomach.

Once in his office, he made several phone calls. One to the finance team apologising that he wouldn’t be at the meeting that would be starting in two minutes, one to housekeeping to ask them to make a call at Simon’s room to clean up (and warning them what they would find there), one to kids’ club to get a message to Maddie to not to go back to the cabin until after lunch, and then one to Felice.

“Hey,” she answered, breathless, after seven rings. “Did you find him?”

“I did,” Wille said. And he launched into an explanation of Simon’s condition, sparing the details.

“So where is he now?” she asked.

“Asleep,” he said, for some reason feeling awkward revealing exactly where he was asleep. 

“Okay,” Felice said, sighing. “I’ll get Maddie to check on him later. Can you—”

“He’s, uhm” - he cleared his throat after interrupting Felice - “He’s not in his cabin.”

“Okay,” Felice said. “I thought med bay didn’t take people for seasickness?”

“He’s—” Wille coughed, a weird tickle at the back of his throat. “He’s in my cabin.”

There was a beat of silence over the phone. Then, “Why the fuck is he in your cabin?”

“I— uhm. It seemed like the best solution at the time. My bathroom is bigger, and closer to the middle, and not covered in vomit, and doesn’t have anyone else in it…” He trailed off, all his reasons suddenly feeling less solid when faced with an incredulous Felice.

“Except you, Wille. You are in it.”

Wille clicked his pen up and down a few times. “Yeah, well, I’m working all day aren’t I?” 

“So’s Maddie.”

She sounded amused, and it was not helping with Wille’s embarrassment. “I panicked, okay! It seemed like the best idea. Even though he couldn’t really walk…”

Felice burst out laughing. “Oh my God, Wille,” she said. “You carried him to your room? For fuck’s sake, I know he’s pretty, but Jesus…”

“Fuck off, Felice,” he grumbled. “It’s not that. And no one looks pretty covered in vomit.”

“That’s fair,” she said, calming down slightly. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

Wille started chewing the side of his thumb, a habit he really should have figured how to get out of by now. “I think so,” he said. “The vomiting seems to have subsided slightly. I’ll go and check on him in a bit.”

“Can you report back to me so I know what to do about the schedule? Annemarie will be devastated if he doesn’t sing tonight, she’s already far too fond. She’s really latched on to him. I think she’s trying to distract herself from the divorce battle with that CEO ex of hers.”

“Hmm,” Wille said. “I noticed. I doubt he’ll be able to sing tonight though. Even if he’s stopped throwing up, I bet he won’t be strong enough to.”

She sighed. “I thought that would be the case. I’ll see if I can shift some people around. Let me know how he is though, still, please?”

“Of course.”

They exchanged goodbyes and Wille hung up the phone. He resisted the temptation to call down to his cabin to see how Simon was doing; partly because he didn’t want Simon to have to get up to answer, but also partly because even he could tell that was a bit much. 

So he tried to busy himself with the work that he had been supposed to do this morning. It worked for about twenty minutes until he realised he’d been staring at the same email for so long his eyes had gone blurry. 

Pushing himself decisively away from his desk, he left his office before he could talk himself out of it.

Fifteen minutes later, he was tentatively knocking on the door to his own cabin, arms full of bread rolls, and ears straining for a response. 

A very timid, “Hello?” came through the door.

“It’s me,” he said, then shook his head, berating himself, “Wilhelm, uh, Wille. Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Simon called.

Tugging on the door, Wille stepped inside. Simon was still lying on the bed, he seemingly hadn’t moved since Wille had left, and Wille hoped that meant he’d been able to get at least a little bit of sleep.

“Have you been able to drink anything?” he asked, hovering awkwardly by the door.

Pushing himself up to sitting with a wince, Simon shook his head. “I haven’t tried,” he said.

Holding up his bounty, Wille said, “I brought some bread. I thought it might help.”

Simon didn’t look convinced. “I’m not sure I’m up for eating anything,” he said.

Wille crossed to the bed and peered into the bucket. “You’ve not thrown up again, so it’s been a good few hours now. That’s a really good sign. But you’ll feel terrible for longer if you don’t eat and drink.”

“Why did I not assume you’d be a good nurse?”

Wille felt his cheeks warm and avoided answering by placing the bread rolls beside the water glass. “You don’t have to eat them,” he said. “But the water might be more palatable with some food. And it’s really important you get some water. Okay?”

Simon nodded. They fell into a slightly awkward silence. It was broken a few seconds later by some loud sniffing.

With horror, Wille saw that Simon was crying. “Oh, shit,” Wille said, dropping down onto the bed before panicking that maybe that was too much. “I’m sorry. Have I done something wrong?”

Simon sniffed again and tilted his head back as if trying to make the tears move backwards into his eyes. “No,” he said, in an exceptionally wobbly voice. “No, you’ve been great. I just— I just feel like shit.” He gave a wet chuckle. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to be dealing with this. I just… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this terrible before.”

Wille gave what he hoped was a sympathetic smile. “I’ve heard it’s pretty rough.”

“Pretty rough is one way of putting it.” Simon groaned and scrubbed his hands down his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Water sounds like a good idea.”

Wille hesitated. It sounded like a dismissal. And he knew Simon probably didn’t want Wille seeing him in such a fragile state when they’d only just met. He should probably go. But at the same time he didn’t want to leave Simon if he needed some support. So should he stay? 

He decided to opt for the former, and hoped he’d not got it too wrong.

“I, uhm, I should go. I— can I get you anything else?”

Fiddling with his fingers and avoiding Wille’s gaze, Simon shook his head. “No,” he said. “I’ll try to drink the water. But I think I’m just going to sleep, if that’s okay?”

“That’s absolutely fine,” he said, heading back towards the door. “My shift finishes at 18:00, I’ll come and check on you then. Don’t forget to call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Simon said.

Wille nodded and placed his hand on the door. 

“Wille—” Simon said, quickly. Turning back, Wille waited as Simon chewed his lips slightly and tried to calm the drumming of his heart at the sound of his nickname. “I— thank you.”

When it became clear Simon wasn’t going to say anything else, Wille smiled. “No problem,” he said. “Get some sleep, Simon.”

Simon nodded, and was already shuffling down on the bed as Wille closed the door. 

That afternoon was one of the longest Wille had ever experienced in his life. His job was boring at the best of times, but as his mind kept wandering to Simon, potentially really ill in his room, he found he couldn’t concentrate on anything. The last thing on his agenda for the day was a meeting with the entertainment team to organise the slightly different security involved for tomorrow’s show. 

After fifty minutes of listening to an agent make all sorts of demands, most of which they just couldn’t fulfil on a boat in the middle of the ocean, the meeting finally wrapped up, leaving everyone feeling slightly disgruntled.

Felice sighed as the door shut behind everyone, Wille thunked his head down on the table. “Precisely,” she said. Then, “Are you coming to dinner?”

Wille lifted his head up and looked at his watch.

“Or do you have somewhere you need to be?” She gave him a knowing look.

“No. I— I was wondering if I should check on Simon. But he’d have called if he needed something, right?”

“Right,” said Felice.

“And I should probably take him something to eat. So yeah, I’ll come and grab something with you.”

“Perfect,” Felice said, linking her arm through his. “And you can tell me all about your nurse duties.”

Groaning, he let Felice drag him out of the room. 

Another tentative knock on the door, this time a much clearer “Come in!” called back.

When Wille pulled the door open, slightly awkwardly because of all the parcels and pots of food in his arms, Simon was sitting up on the bed.

“Hi,” Wille said, pulling the door shut with his foot. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was throwing my guts up all night,” he said, with a slightly cheeky smile. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked drawn, but at least he didn’t look on the brink of death any more, and some of his sense of humour had come back, which hopefully meant he didn’t feel quite as dreadful.

“Have you vomited again?” Wille asked, placing everything down on the desk.

“No,” Simon said, shaking his head. “My stomach doesn’t feel great but much better than last night.”

“You can take another of those pills now if you’d like. Have you managed to drink any water?”

The glass beside the bed was half empty.

Simon nodded. “Thanks,” he said. “And thanks for the bread rolls. I couldn’t manage much, but I think they helped.”

Gesturing, Wille said, “I brought more food. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for eating anything, so I brought—”

“The whole buffet?”

Blushing, Wille grinned. “I thought you probably wouldn’t want to walk to dinner.”

“Hmm,” Simon said. “Definitely not. I’m still not sure I have enough energy for any walking.”

Wille leant against the edge of his desk. “I can help you back to your room in a bit if you’d like?”

Nodding, Simon shuffled a bit to place his feet on the floor.

“Oh! I didn’t mean now!” Wille said, standing up and holding out his hands. “You’re welcome to stay and have something to eat.”

“I know,” Simon said. “I wanted to use the bathroom.”

“Oh!” Wille felt heat rise to his cheeks again. “Oh, of course. Please—” He gestured to the bathroom, feeling slightly foolish. Luckily, Simon seemed to find his fluster amusing and he raised an eyebrow as he pushed himself to his feet.

“Ah!” Simon said, before falling back onto the bed, dropping his head between his knees. 

Quickly, Wille bent down beside him and placed a hand on his back. “Are you okay?” 

Simon made a non-committal noise. “Dizzy,” he said. “And nauseous. I don’t think I’m going to throw up though. Just… give me a sec.”

“Of course.” 

Wille rubbed soothing circles into Simon’s back until he lifted his head again.

“Okay. I’m okay. Let’s try again, slower this time.”

Simon gripped Wille’s hand and let him help get him to his feet. Then the two of them shuffled the few steps to the bathroom. 

“I think I’m good with this bit,” Simon said, grinning as a pink blush tinged his cheeks. It was a stark contrast to the paleness that had been there for the rest of the day and Wille was very glad to see it, hoping it meant the worst was over.

Unsure of what to do, Wille busied himself laying out all the food on the desk whilst Simon was in the bathroom. When he heard the flush, he hovered by the door in case Simon needed help back to the bed.

The door opened, and Simon sheepishly took Wille’s proffered hand. Back on the bed, Simon lay down and closed his eyes.

Wille had to resist the urge once more to not run his hands over Simon’s hair. Far too intimate, and, in fact, a little bit gross after the 24 hours that Simon had had. 

“I wasn’t sure what you’d want,” Wille said, gesturing to the desk.

Simon cracked an eye and made a noise in his throat. “I’m not hungry,” he said. “I just want to sleep.”

“Oh. I— that’s okay. I can go. I—”

Simon’s hand shot out and gripped his wrist. Wille’s words died on his tongue. “Can you stay?” Simon asked, voice muffled by the pillow.

“Yes, of course,” Wille said. “As long as you need.”

Nodding, Simon dropped Wille’s wrist and snuggled further into the bed. Quietly, Wille walked around and sat down at his desk chair. 

“Just a short nap,” Simon mumbled. “That walk took it out of me.”

Chuckling, Wille pulled his book out from his drawer and settled down to read.

An hour later, Simon groaned and rolled over. Suddenly alert, Wille planted his feet on the floor, ready to grab the bucket. But Simon just rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up onto his elbows. Giving a huge yawn, he chuckled. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve commandeered your bed.”

Wille laughed. “That’s okay,” he said. “It’s early. I was just reading.”

Craning his neck to look at the bounty on the desk, Simon said, “Is any of that still good?”

Simon ended up eating a few bites of bread, half an apple and a ginger biscuit, as well as drinking another half glass of water. Every bite he took seemed to bring a bit of colour back to his cheeks.

After he’d finished his meal, he stretched. “Thank you,” he said, “for the food. I really appreciate it.”

“It can’t be easy being ill on the first day at a new job when you don’t know anyone,” Wille said.

“Yeah,” Simon replied. “I was questioning all my life choices at three o'clock this morning.”

Wille chuckled. “I hope it hasn’t put you off too much?”

“Well, I’m stranded in the middle of the ocean,” Simon said. “So there’s not much I can do about it now.” He had a glint in his eye, so Wille didn’t think he was serious, but his worry must have shown on his face, because Simon hurried to say, “Wille it’s fine, I’m joking. As long as that doesn’t happen frequently, it’s not completely put me off. I think I’ll enjoy it. The job. I like the singing. And… the people seem nice.” 

Apparently Wille’s heart was reading more into that than it should have done if the flutter in his chest was anything to go by.

Simon paused for a moment, but when Wille didn’t fill the silence, he continued, “I should probably head back to my cabin now. Thanks for the… use of your bigger bathroom.”

“You could stay for a bit,” Wille blurted.

Simon raised an eyebrow. 

“I mean… you’ve just finished eating. We should wait to make sure it settles, and that the new tablet has worked. I can take you back later. We could… watch a film or something?”

With a pensive expression on his face, Simon observed him. Wille felt split open under the scrutiny, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Okay,” Simon said after a while. “But first, can I— is it okay if I use your shower? And I’d quite like to get changed. Do you mind going to grab—”

“You can borrow something of mine,” Wille interrupted, suddenly having an overwhelming urge to see Simon wearing his clothes. 

Simon watched him again. “Okay,” he said. “If that’s okay?”

“Yes,” Wille said. “Absolutely. That’s fine.”

Getting up, he helped Simon back across the room to the bathroom, since his legs were still a little wobbly. He showed Simon how to work the shower and then stepped out to allow him to undress in privacy. 

Wille dug through his casual clothes to try to find something that might fit Simon. He left a pile of sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie and underwear just outside the bathroom.

Some time later, Simon’s wet arm peeked out of the gap in the bathroom door, grabbed the clothes and disappeared again. When Simon reappeared, he looked much better, and sent Wille a small smile. “Thanks,” he said.

“No problem,” Wille managed to reply whilst feeling all sorts of ways about seeing Simon look all snuggly with his wet hair dripping onto the shoulders of the borrowed hoodie.

Wille had set his laptop up on his desk. Much as he hoped Simon would stay, if only so that Wille could make sure he was definitely okay, he didn’t want to put any pressure on.

Simon seemed nervous. He pulled the sleeves of Wille’s hoodie down over his hands and looked everywhere other than at Wille’s eyes. “So… uhm—”

“We don’t have to,” Wille said. “It was just an idea. To make sure you’re okay, before heading back to yours.”

“No,” Simon said. “I’d, uhm, I’d like to. If that’s still okay? I don’t really feel like going back to that room yet.”

“Of course,” Wille said, gesturing to the bed. He dragged his desk chair up to the side and pulled Netflix up on his laptop. “The WiFi is shit. So it’ll have to be something from my downloads I’m afraid.”

“As long as you’re not into weird stuff, that’s fine.”

Heat rose to Wille’s cheeks, suddenly panicking about his taste in movies. He didn’t think it was that weird. Was it? Weird was subjective right? He brought up the selection and twisted the laptop towards Simon to let him choose.

It turned out that it didn’t matter whether Wille had a weird taste in films or not. Simon was fast asleep within the first two minutes, wet curls fanned out across Wille’s pillow. Wille looked down at his watch, it was just past eight. How long was too long to let Simon sleep? Would it be cruel to wake him when his body clearly needed to recover?

He swivelled on his chair a few times, chewing the inside of his lip. Eventually, he quickly jotted a note to Simon telling him where he was, grabbed some comfy clothes, and slipped out into the corridor.

When Felice opened her door, she gave him a knowing look and let him silently step past her. Luckily, Felice’s room was almost as big as Wilhelm’s, so as they settled in for the night, after just a small amount of teasing from Felice, Wille only had a moment of wondering if Simon was okay before he drifted into a comfortable slumber.

Chapter Text

SIMON

Waking up in Wilhelm’s bed the next day had been an experience. Somewhere in the back of Simon’s brain, he had known that he was going to be somewhere strange. But then the strange he was in felt different than the strange he was supposed to be in. And the whole thing hurt his head a little bit. And his head was hurting just fine all on its own. 

Once he’d got his bearings, Simon reached over to the bedside table and lifted the glass of water. Despite feeling absolutely parched, he was careful to take it slow, worried about shocking his still very sensitive stomach.

Fifteen minutes later, it looked like the water was staying down. So he tentatively swung his feet out of the bed, giving himself a moment to acclimatise to the new orientation. Dizzy, but nowhere near as bad as he had been yesterday.

Carefully, he levered himself up and off the bed, taking lots of time to pathetically shuffle towards the bathroom. His legs were like jelly and it felt as though he might keel over at any moment.

The bathroom trip was a success, even if it completely took it out of him, and he gratefully slid back into the bed upon his return. 

Lying down, he looked around the room. Wille’s cabin was much bigger than his own, and he could tell that Wille spent time in here, even if it wasn’t quite as chaotically decorated as Maddie’s bunk.

There was a photograph tacked to the wall. Wille and Felice, cheeks squished together, holding cupcakes in front of their faces with so much joy in their eyes. Simon smiled. The Wille he’d met so far had been slightly reserved and cautious; but he’d seen a glint of a playful, sweet man underneath, and this picture seemed to prove Simon right. 

Underneath the photograph was a printout of a poem that Simon couldn’t make out from this distance, and a poster of a frog. Remembering the ornaments from yesterday, Simon let out an amused huff. Frogs must be a thing for Wille then.

Wille’s laptop remained on the desk with the lid shut. Vaguely, Simon remembered that they’d started watching something the previous evening, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it had been. He wondered if Wille had continued watching it whilst he slept. The thought made him feel oddly warm, and very self-conscious. 

The digital clock on the desk told Simon that it was just after seven. Suddenly, he wondered where Wille was. Simon had slept in his room. All night. Had Wille slept in here too? In this bed? Panicking, Simon looked at the covers and tried to tell if there’d been two bodies under them when there came a tentative knock at the door.

Swallowing hard, Simon called, “Hello?”

“Hey, Simon,” Wille’s voice came through the door. “Sorry if I woke you. Can I come in?”

“Erm…” Simon looked around hastily. Now that he wasn’t half dead, he was very aware of the state he was in. But at least he was wearing clothes - not his own he noted - and they didn’t have vomit on them. “Yes!” he shouted.

The door opened and Wille stepped inside, looking sleep-rumpled and soft. Okay, Simon thought, so he slept somewhere else. He tried not to think too hard about where that might have been.

“Good morning,” Wille said, as his eyes raked over Simon. “How are you feeling?”

Simon clutched at the covers to try to maintain some sense of dignity. Given what Wille had done for him yesterday, he realised that that was probably futile. “Okay,” he said. “Thank you.”

Scrutinising him for a moment, Wille peered into the bucket. “No more vomiting?” he asked.

Shaking his head, Simon cleared his throat, cheeks burning. He had no idea how to act around a person that he’d known for not even two days, but who had cared for him so attentively. “No,” he said. “And I managed to drink something.”

Wille’s face broke into a relieved smile. “That’s good,” he said.

“I should be able to work today. Don’t worry.”

Frowning, Wille shook his head. “Absolutely not,” he said. “No offence, Simon. But you still look like shit. So I assume you wouldn’t be able to work even if you tried.”

Remembering his exceptionally wobbly trip to the bathroom earlier, Simon pressed his lips together.

“Look,” Wille said, using a gentler tone, “I get that you want to get started. But, you’re no use to anyone if you pass out on stage. Take today, and tomorrow if you need it, and then we’ll reassess. Felice knows how ill you’ve been and she wants to make sure you’re well enough, just like the rest of us.”

Simon felt something warm bloom in his chest at the idea that these people that he barely knew cared about his wellbeing. Then he reminded himself that they probably just needed him healthy enough to be able to work. 

So he acquiesced. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Simon nodded. “I’ll get out of the way.” He started shuffling to the edge of the bed.

“Wait!” Wille said. “At least have some breakfast first.”

It was only then that Simon noticed that Wille was carrying a napkin-wrapped parcel in his hand. 

“Sorry it’s not much, I’ve not been up to the restaurant yet. This was just what Felice had in her cabin.”

Ah, so Wille had stayed with Felice. Did that confirm that there was something going on there? Simon wasn’t sure. In any case, his musings were mostly drowned out by the buzzing in his brain at the idea that Wille had scrounged round Felice’s supplies to make him some breakfast.

He took the green parcel from Wille and unwrapped it. A crispbread sandwich.

“Sorry,” Wille said. “I can get you something better. I just—”

Simon stopped Wille by placing a hand on his arm. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Face splitting into a relieved smile, Wille said, “Oh, good. You don’t have to— Just in case you were hungry.”

Suddenly, Simon realised he was ravenous. Taking a huge bite out of the sandwich, he grinned at Wille around the food. After several chews, he regretted the size of the mouthful he’d taken, but with some effort, managed to swallow it. His stomach made a funny noise, but no wave of nausea hit him.

“Thanks,” he said, again.

Grinning, Wille nodded. “No problem. I’m just going to get dressed.”

“Oh, I can go back to my—”

“No! No, it’s fine. You can stay.”

“I kind of want my own clothes to be honest. And a shower,” Simon said. Not that wearing Wille’s clothes didn’t make him all warm and fuzzy, but he was starting to feel more than a little gross. And he’d already completely taken advantage of Wille’s generous hospitality. 

It looked like Wille was fighting with something internally, but eventually he said, “Why don’t you wait here whilst you eat and I get ready, then I can walk you back to your cabin, in case you need any help.”

Simon was about to protest, but the look on Wille’s face made him swallow the words down and just nod. Quietly, Wille bustled about the cabin, grabbing a new stack of clothes before heading into the small bathroom. Simon thought Wille had been trying to avoid his eye, but couldn’t be sure.

Unable to manage much more of the sandwich, despite his hunger, Simon waited for Wille to finish, and tried not to let his mind wander too much when he heard the shower running.

When Wille emerged several minutes later, it was wearing his uniform once more, wet hair dripping slightly over his collar. Simon swallowed and tried not to watch a drop of water run from behind Wille’s ear down the curve of his throat. 

“Ready?” Wille asked.

“Mhm,” Simon said, not quite trusting his voice. 

When, embarrassingly, he couldn’t quite manage to pull his own weight off the bed, Wille placed an arm around his waist and helped him up. Simon was torn between being mortified at how helpless he was, grateful to have someone willing to assist, and desperate to maintain some sort of physical contact with Wille, whose mere presence was making a sort of giddy energy bubble in his chest. 

As it happened, Simon would not have been quite strong enough to manage the walk himself. So, like yesterday, Wille propped him up and they made their way slowly through the ship. This time though, Simon was considerably more lucid, and therefore exceptionally aware of every point at which Wille was holding him. His firm hand around Simon’s waist, and the steadying grip of his palm around Simon’s fingers on the other side. His shoulder where it pressed slightly into Simon’s back, and his damp hair brushing the side of Simon’s head.

Simon was weak, and pathetic, and very, very gay. 

His complicated emotions came to a head as Wille dropped him back at his cabin. It was mercifully empty, and Simon was getting more and more anxious about meeting his mysterious cabin mate. 

“Do you need help getting up onto your bunk?” Wille asked.

Simon was exhausted, but that was a step too far, even after everything Wille had already done for him. “No thanks, I want a shower first, I’ll manage.”

Wille seemed to hesitate for a moment before letting it go. “Promise to call if you need help? With anything?”

“I promise.”

“I have a few meetings today, but I can cancel any of them if you need me.”

Simon raised an eyebrow, more and more convinced that Wille’s job was made up. “I’ll be fine.”

“But promise you’ll call?”

“I promise.”

“Okay.” Wille wavered by the door. There were lots of things Simon wanted to say, but his brain was too muddled to try and put them in any sort of order, so he just offered a small smile instead, before Wille added, “Can I come and check on you later?”

Simon’s smile widened. “Of course.”

“Okay.”

Wille was still hovering.

Giddiness bubbling beneath his sternum once more, Simon said, “Bye, Wille.”

Smiling sheepishly at him, Wille ducked his head slightly. It was adorable. “Bye, Simon,” he said.

Wille raised his hand in a half wave and backed out of the door.

Simon felt a giggle rise up in his throat and hoped against hope that Wille hadn’t been able to hear him. Developing a crush on the person who nursed you when you were sick was too cliché even for him, and Simon prayed that a shower and fresh clothes would knock some sense into him.

Predictably, it did not knock any sense into him. Neither did the fact that Wille visited him no fewer than five times that day. Each time, Simon pretended to be exasperated, but was secretly very pleased.

That evening, as Wille made sure Simon took his seasickness pill, and Simon insisted that he was feeling well enough to work the next day, Simon was more than slightly disappointed that there was absolutely zero reason for Wille to half carry him to his cabin again.

He could sense Wille hesitating, and wondered if he was going to invite him anyway, when the cabin door clattered open and revealed a woman with two plaits down the back of her head, a violently purple t-shirt, and glittery eyeshadow spread across an alarming amount of the top half of her face.

“Simon!” she exclaimed.

Simon just stared at her, eyes wide.

“You are Simon right?” she said, stepping into the room.

He nodded mutely. 

“Maddie,” she said, pressing her hand to her chest. “Felice has told me so much about you.” She gave Wille a pointed sideways look, and Simon saw him frantically shake his head in jerky, small movements.

“Hi, Maddie,” Simon said.

“Has Wille here been taking good care of you?” she asked.

Wille blushed all the way to the roots of his hair.

“Yes,” Simon said, grinning. “The best.”

“I’ll bet,” she said, with a smirk.

Sending her a stern glare, Wille cleared his throat. “Okay then,” he said. “I’ll just leave you to it. Bye, Maddie.”

Maddie waggled her fingers at him and gave him a saccharine smile.

“And Simon,” Wille said, turning back to him. “Promise me, if you need—”

“I promise,” Simon interrupted. When Wille didn’t move immediately, Simon sent him a soft smile. “Thanks, Wille.”

Smiling back, Wille nodded his head and stepped out of the room.

“Oh my God,” Maddie said, gleefully as Wille’s footsteps receded. “This is going to be so much fun.”

It was not fun. During that first week, Simon found that harbouring a crush on your boss-not-boss was really fucking awkward. The day after Simon had met Maddie, he agreed with Felice to have a reduced shift to ease him back into it alongside the safety briefing he’d missed. He was still very weak and was struggling to eat and drink. But he was well enough to not want to sit round in his room all day, no matter how many times Wille promised to visit. 

At the end of each shift, he was so exhausted, he just stumbled back to his room and fell into bed - well, as much as one can fall into a top bunk. Maddie was always up and out before him in the mornings, and in the chaos of learning the ropes, and August pushing his luck with the bar shifts, and him still coming down from his horrific first couple of days, Simon felt a little bit like he was in a lucid dream by his last shift of the week.

But still, he dragged himself out of his cabin a little earlier and made his way towards the shop that Felice had pointed out on his first day. With all of his accommodation and meals included, Simon had so far had no need to spend any money on the ship, but still, seeing the prices on the edges of the shelves made his eyes water a little bit.

Slowly, he meandered through the shop to see what sort of things they sold, and see if anything screamed out at him ‘thank you for taking care of me whilst I puked my guts up and slept in your bed’. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a section for that. There was alcohol, chocolates, clothes, and more cruise line branded things than Simon thought anyone would ever need. And besides, Wille worked here, lived here, he was sure he didn’t need a keyring and baseball cap with the name of the ship under a little crown embroidered on it.

Simon also didn’t know what Wille liked to eat or drink. He eyed the huge novelty bars of chocolate, and well as the bottles of spirits, but decided in the end that they were a bad idea given that he didn’t know whether Wille would hate them.

What did he know about Wille? Other than the fact that he’d been so willing to care for Simon despite not knowing him at all? He knew what his job was - well, actually, scrap that, no he didn’t. But at least he knew where he worked. He knew that Wille was good friends with Felice, unclear on whether there was a romantic aspect to that or not. He knew—

Simon’s eyes landed on a shelf beside the t-shirts with the names of all of the ports splashed across the chests. Stacked in a hotchpotch pile were hundreds of stuffed animals, and perched right on the top, way too high for Simon to reach, was a fluffy, green frog.

Grinning, he caught the attention of a sales assistant, who dragged over a stool to grab the frog down, commenting that at least Simon didn’t want one from the middle and how that always ended in disaster. Simon clutched the little frog to his chest as he paid, before stashing it in the paper bag he was given and hurrying to the bar for his shift.

When he arrived, slightly out of breath, Felice intercepted him before he could deposit his purchase and get started.

“Simon!” she said. “I’m glad I caught you.”

“Erm… you do my rota, Felice. Surely you knew where I’d be?”

“No, I mean before August realised you’re here. Come on. Quick!”

Confused, clutching his parcel, Simon quickly followed Felice out of the bar and round the corner.

“What’s going on?” he said.

Felice glanced over her shoulder, and Simon felt like he was involved in some sort of bizarre espionage. “I need to borrow you before your set tonight, and August will be angry that I’ve stolen you away.”

“Are you getting me into trouble?”

Looking indignant, she pulled herself up. “I’m your manager,” she said. “I get to decide where you work.”

“Yeah, but isn’t August your boss?” Simon raised his eyebrow at her.

“Pfft,” she said, waving her hand. “He’s scared of me.”

“I… do not understand the hierarchy here,” Simon said, causing Felice to laugh. 

“All you need to know is that I get to tell you what to do, no one gets to tell me what to do, and Wille is no one’s boss.”

Winking, she turned to leave. Simon blinked in surprise a few times before following her. He desperately wanted to ask her what she meant by the Wille comment, but decided that nothing good would come of that. He’d mostly avoided Wille this week, apart from fleeting glimpses in the corridors that had made his heart flutter in his chest, and the couple of times Wille had snuck in at the back of the bar to make sure his sets were going okay.

Catching up with Felice, he fell into step beside her. “So what am I doing instead of bar work?”

“I need someone to play piano in the Sunset Bar,” she said. “Our pianist is off sick and you’re the only other person on the entertainment team who is available and can play.”

“Uhh…” Simon trailed off. Piano had been on his resumé when he’d applied for the job, but that was more in the sense of ‘I can play alongside the songs I’m singing’ rather than ‘I am an adept pianist’. “And I’m just playing my normal set?”

“No,” Felice said. “It’s a different vibe. More background noise than a performance. Don’t worry, the sheet music is in there, you’ll have time to practise.”

“Uhh…” Simon said again.

Stopping, Felice turned to face him. “What?” she said. “What’s wrong?”

Simon wasn’t sure how to reveal to your boss that you’d apparently lied without meaning to when applying for the job. 

“I, uhm, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that,” he said.

Frowning, Felice said, “Why?”

“I can’t, uhm, I can’t just… play piano like that.”

“What?” She looked confused. “What do you mean? You play beautifully.”

“I can, uhm, I can play by ear. And when I know the song. And I can kind of read sheet music. But I’m not, like, an accomplished pianist or anything. I can’t sight read.”

“Pfft,” Felice said, waving his concerns away. “We don’t need an accomplished pianist. We just need someone who’s vaguely musical that can make this bar not embarrassingly silent for a couple of hours. Come on, I’ll get someone to help you learn the pieces.”

Unconvinced, Simon followed as Felice continued their mission to the other bar.

Once there, she directed Simon to the piano and the stack of sheet music on top of it. “Just pick three you like the look of and play them on a loop,” she said. “No one will notice, and if they do, it’s still better than nothing.”

Simon flicked through the pages and chose the three easiest looking ones.

“Wait here,” she said. “I’ll get someone to come and help.”

A few minutes later, an embarrassed cough drew his eyes away from the music he was frantically trying to decipher.

Wille was standing beside the piano, looking exceptionally awkward with his pink cheeks and nervous fingers. “Hi,” he said, a small smile creeping on his face.

Almost involuntarily, Simon found himself smiling back. “Hey,” he said. “Are you my piano prodigy?”

Wille laughed. “Not quite,” he said. “But I’m not bad. I can help.”

“Why can’t you just play?”

Shaking his head frantically, Wille said, “No, thank you. There’s no way they’re getting me to do that. Besides, you’re the performer of the two of us.”

“Hmm,” Simon said. “Feels like a bit of a flimsy excuse to me. Boss’ privileges?”

“Not the boss,” Wille said, grinning. 

Simon’s cheeks were already starting to hurt from all the smiling, and they hadn’t even started yet. This was bad.

“Before we start, I, uhm” - Simon cleared his throat and reached down under his seat where he’d hastily flung the gift earlier - “I got you something.”

Wille’s face did something funny as Simon handed him the bag.

“For looking after me this week. It’s not much,” he added hastily. “And I didn’t get a chance to wrap it but—”

As he opened the bag, Wille let out a little noise of surprise. Simon watched with bated breath as he reached into the bag and carefully lifted out the little plush frog. When his eyes met Simon’s, Wille’s face was a complicated mix of emotions that Simon didn’t have any chance of deciphering.

“It’s a frog,” Wille said, rather obviously. 

Simon laughed. “Yes, it is,” he said. “I, uhm” - he shifted in his seat, suddenly nervous again - “I noticed you had a few frog things, so I thought you might—”

“Thank you,” Wille breathed. “I really love it.”

There was a moment where they just gazed at each other. Simon kind of wanted to hug him, but the angle was awkward, and he wasn’t sure what was appropriate, and Wille was looking at him with such awe, that all he could do was stare back and hope he didn’t explode. 

In the end, it was Wille that broke them out of whatever moment they’d been having. “I, uhm” - he cleared his throat, and carefully put the frog back in its bag - “I hear you need some piano tuition?” Taking a step towards him, Wille inclined his chin. “Move up,” he said. “Let’s see what we can do.”

Something warm oozed from beneath Simon’s sternum and spread to all his limbs. He wasn’t sure how he would cope with being in such close proximity to Wille for so long, but damn if he wouldn’t try to survive it as long as he could.

Two and a half hours later, Simon’s bum was completely numb, his eyes were blurry from staring at the music for so long, and his sides were hurting from laughing so much.

An hour in, Felice had come to check on them and had left with a huff, rolling her eyes and muttering about giggling school children. Simon had berated Wille for getting him in trouble with his boss, and Wille had pulled the most ridiculous faux serious face that Simon had cracked up all over again.

But despite how light-hearted the practice session had been, by the time the bar opened and Simon was expected to start playing, he was exceptionally nervous again. Wille had promised to stay for moral support, and Simon wasn’t sure if that helped or hindered, the charged air from earlier never having completely dissipated. 

Taking a deep breath, he looked over to the corner where Wille was standing watch. Smiling encouragingly, Wille held up two thumbs. And if Simon didn’t just melt on the spot. He was still tingling all over from having had Wille’s body pressed into his own for the last two hours, and the fluttering in his chest was only partly nerves. Oh no. This was definitely going to become a problem.

Simon pushed down all the complicated thoughts swirling around his head. Thoughts about how much he liked Wille, and how he didn’t want to mess things up with this job, and how good he felt when Wille was around. Swallowing hard, Simon placed his hands on the keys and started playing.

Felice was right, it was definitely background music, Simon didn’t think a single guest had spared him a glance as they’d chatted over drinks and nibbles after a later lunch, or before heading to dinner. None of the passengers had watched him. But Wille had - unwaveringly - from his discreet corner of the bar. 

By the time Simon had finished his set, the chatting in the bar had increased so much that his playing could barely be heard anyway. Looking at the time, he saw he had half an hour to get up to The Apex before his own set started. As he slipped out from behind the piano he saw Wille striding over to him, a wide grin on his face.

“Well done. You were amazing!” Wille said once he got within hearing distance. And before Simon had a chance to respond, Wille had pulled him into a crushing hug. There was only a moment of surprise before Simon was hugging him back, arms wrapped around the shoulders that he’d been casually fantasising about for almost a week. 

Simon had just got to the point where he was wondering when a hug was deemed inappropriate for the workplace when Wille was pulling back. The small cough and sheepish look on his face suggested that the same thought had been going through Wille’s head.

“I, uhm, I should head up for my set,” Simon said, putting a bit more distance between them.

Nodding, Wille stepped to the side to let Simon pass. Just as Simon wove around him, a hand shot out and gripped his wrist. “Wait,” Wille said, dropping his hand as soon as Simon turned. “I, uhm. Do you have your day off tomorrow?”

Simon paused for a moment before answering. “Yeah.”

“Do, er… would you like me to show you around? The ship I mean? I know you’ve not really had a chance to see anything yet. And, uhm, I mean… I’d be happy to do that. If that’s something you might want?” The confidence had started leaving Wille’s voice the further he’d got through his invitation.

Smiling, Simon placed his hand on Wille’s arm. Wille looked down at it and then back up at Simon, sucking in a shuddering breath. 

“I’d love to,” Simon said.

Wille’s responding grin was slightly relieved, and boyish in its giddiness. “Okay,” he said. “Great. I’ll, uhm, I’ll come and get you from your cabin. Would you… would you like to go to breakfast together? Just so we can get started? Or—”

“Breakfast sounds lovely,” Simon said. “Nine?”

“Nine. Perfect. See you then.”

Simon tried not to trip over his feet as he left the bar, and if the dopey look on Wille’s face was anything to go by, he was struggling to keep his composure too. Wille’s eyes were burning holes in the back of his head all the way across the room and out through the doors. Only once he was in the corridor and out from under that intense gaze could Simon finally breathe and tell himself that it was fine. It was all fine. Breakfast between colleagues. No big deal.

WILLE

This was a really big deal. A really, really big deal. Wille was standing in front of his tiny wardrobe and looking at his paltry selection of casual clothes. Normally, he spent all his time on this ship working, pretending to work, or watching films in his pyjamas either alone or with Felice. He had very little use for casual clothes. Unless he was going on a not-date with a not-employee who he had a not-crush on. 

Sighing hard again, he scrubbed his palms down his face, closed his eyes, and shoved his hand into the wardrobe at random. He pulled out his maroon shirt. Remembering that Felice had told him once that it made him look cool, he decided he could do much worse and tugged it on over a grey t-shirt.

Twenty minutes later, he was taking several steadying breaths outside Simon’s cabin door. Having peeked at the rota, he knew Maddie had been working since 7 this morning, so he didn’t have to contend with any knowing looks from her like he’d had from Felice. He both hated and loved that they knew him so well.

Raising his hand, he knocked twice on the door. It opened immediately, which made Wille feel both mortified for having been standing outside for so long, and also tingly, knowing that Simon had likely been waiting for him. Or had just been standing very close to the door. Which wasn’t very hard in these cabins. 

“Hi,” Simon said, slightly breathless but with a small smile.

“Hi,” Wille responded, grinning so wide his cheeks hurt. 

Simon looked slightly nervous, pulling the cuffs of his purple shirt over his hands. He had a faint pink blush high on his cheeks and Wille’s fingers were itching to reach out and caress it.

Instead, he offered Simon what he hoped was a friendly smile and gestured out of the door.

Falling into step beside each other, Wille realised he hadn’t really thought much about how their conversations might go. He’d just wanted to spend some more time with Simon, show him around some of the ship, and hopefully get to know him a bit better. But he realised now, when faced with the reality of his situation, that he and Simon were from entirely different worlds. Would they even have anything to talk about? Would they have anything in common at all? Would—

“So,” said Simon, sending him a small sideways smile, their shoulders bumping slightly with the subtle movement of the ship, “breakfast?”

Wille returned the smile. “Breakfast,” he said. “If that’s still okay with you?”

“Do we get a private dining room since you’re the captain's son or whatever?”

“Not the captain’s son,” Wille said. “And don’t let the captain hear you say that, she only tolerates me at the best of times, if she thinks I’m spreading rumours that we’re linked in any way other than her suffering my presence, she’ll be furious.”

Simon snorted, and Wilhelm felt a little flutter of pride in his chest that he’d managed to make Simon laugh. “But no - no private dining room I’m afraid. But I did think I could take you up to The Queen’s restaurant. It’s a couple more levels up, and slightly less crowded at this time in the morning than the main restaurant.”

“Urgh,” Simon groaned, and Wille had a slight panic before Simon added, “I’m already so sick of stairs and I’ve not even been here a week.”

Wille laughed. “You’ll get used to it,” he said.

“Can’t we use the lift?”

“If you want to be waiting for half an hour,” Wille said, as they rounded a corner. “They’re almost exclusively used by the less physically capable guests. Unfortunately we don’t really have enough, given that a very high proportion of our guests are less mobile than they might have been thirty years ago.”

Grumbling, Simon went ahead of him as they reached the staircase up to the main deck. Wilhelm let him go a few paces in front, and was not complaining about the view at all. He was also amused to see Simon determinedly not holding the bannister. 

Once they were out into the main corridor, Wille couldn’t pay quite as much attention to Simon as he wanted. A few guests had stopped to say hello to him. Enquire about their route, and the itinerary, and the entertainment. Wille nodded politely and directed everyone to the correct team member, which was almost always not him. 

He understood why his mother wanted him on The Crown. It was the newest of their fleet, and she couldn’t be everywhere at once, although he was sure if there was a way, she’d have done that instead. But at the same time, Wille was the definition of a spare part. He had absolutely nothing to do with the daily running of the ship; remove him from the equation and everything would work in exactly the same way.

Maybe she’d done it as a punishment, or to keep him out of trouble. But whatever the reason, he felt like a complete fraud. He didn’t want this job, and he wasn’t needed here. 

Felice tried to convince him that at least with Wille around, August wasn’t quite as tyrannical as he might have otherwise been. Wille wasn’t so sure, he didn’t feel like he had any sort of power over August, no matter how much sucking-up he did when Wille visited his bar, which he did as infrequently as possible. Or had. Until Simon had started working. Now it had become one of his favourite haunts. A fact which Felice took great delight in teasing him about.

After ascending a few more flights of stairs, the crowd thinned out slightly. Wille also noticed that Simon was bracing himself a little bit more, sometimes using the walls as support, other times just holding his arms slightly out from his body.

“Still not used to the movement?” Wille asked, a small smile tugging at his lips. It was adorable. Sue him.

“Not quite,” Simon said, frowning at his feet. “It’s worse the higher up I go.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Wille said. “The waters around here aren’t that bad, but there’s still a bit of a swell. At least there are no storms forecast for the foreseeable future.”

“Hm,” Simon responded, sending him a sceptical look. “Remind me again why I agreed to work in the middle of the ocean?”

Wille grinned at him. “Don’t ask me!” he said. “I have to be here. This is entirely your own fault.”

“You don’t have to be here either though.” 

Simon said it so easily, so casually, as if that wasn’t an idea that Wille had grappled with his whole life. It seemed that Simon didn’t need a response though, so after a moment of reeling, Wille quickly caught up with him, taking a moment to watch Simon regain his balance after a marginally more prominent lurch.

The restaurant Wille had chosen for breakfast was one of the more exclusive ones on the ship. It wasn’t that he was trying to impress Simon, and if the small amount of time they’d spent together had taught him anything, it was that things like that wouldn’t impress him anyway. No, it was because there would probably be fewer people up here, and they would be less likely to be interrupted.

One major downside of Wille’s position - not that there weren’t hundreds that he could think of if given enough time, but one in particular - was that he was expected to be a familiar face to the guests. A lot of their passengers were repeat customers: Rich sixty- and seventy-somethings who were spending their retirement in luxury. And being a familiar face meant putting up with them as if they were old relatives at an awkward dinner party. But all the time. As if they were living in your home. Wille hated it.

So he breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they were seated in the back corner of the restaurant. A less favoured spot by the guests as it was near the kitchen door, but perfect for Wille who wanted to go as unnoticed as possible. 

Simon didn’t seem to mind and looked around with wide eyes as his seat was pulled out by their server.

“Thanks, Dmitri,” Wille muttered. “You don’t have to worry about us. I’ll let you know when we’re ready to order.”

Dmitri gave a slightly awkward nod and walked away from their table. 

“This place is ridiculous,” Simon said, his mouth slightly agape as he watched the couple on the table next to them leave, dressed up in all their finery, even just for breakfast.

“It is,” Wille said. “That’s Yvette and Leon. They’ve been on this cruise every time it’s sailed for the last six years.”

“Seriously?” Simon asked, incredulous.

“Mhm. That’s what these things are like. You get the odd people who have saved up for years and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but mostly it’s regulars.”

“I can’t believe that ‘cruise regulars’ is a thing. Do you know how much a ticket on this thing costs?”

“Of course I do,” Wille said.

Simon raised his eyebrow.

“What?” Wille said, not sure how defensive he should be being. “I told you, I do actually have a job here, even if it’s kind of pointless.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t pay your staff enough for the amount you charge for tickets.”

Wille felt an uncomfortable clench in his chest. Had he completely misjudged this? Did Simon hate everything he stood for? Was this not-date about to end before it had even started? Would—

“You’re right,” Wille blurted.

Simon looked as surprised as Wille was that the words had left his mouth. 

“You’re right,” he said again, more decisively. “The amount we pay our staff is embarrassingly low.”

“I’m… right?”

Wille nodded. “I’m not supposed to— I’m in a weird position.”

Simon paused for a moment, chewing on his lower lip before responding. “Because you’re my boss?”

“Not your boss.” How had this conversation got away from him so quickly?

“Because you get paid twenty times more than I do and this is an awkward conversation to have over breakfast?” The furrow between Simon’s brows was causing a knot of anxiety to grow in Wille’s chest.

“I, uhm…” - Wille hadn’t been expecting to divulge this on their first not-date - “I… I don’t get paid at all.”

“You— What?” Simon looked completely flabbergasted.

Wille gave a small laugh, unable to contain it at how adorable Simon’s face looked with his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

“You don’t get paid? I thought this is your job?”

“It is,” said Wille. “A real job, just like yours. Just… a bit different. Because it’s also the family business. And it’s a privilege that I’m able to contribute this way.”

Now it was Simon’s turn to laugh. “You surely don’t believe that?”

Wille shrugged. “I don’t really have a choice,” he said.

Simon opened his mouth to argue, but seemed to think better of it. In the hope it would steer the conversation in a different direction, Wille suggested they order drinks. Looking torn for a moment, Simon chewed on his bottom lip, before nodding.

They both ordered coffees, and by the time Dmitri had left again, the air seemed to have cleared somewhat.

“So, how did you end up singing?” Wille asked.

Simon gushed about his successes and failures on his way to his current position, carrying the conversation all the way until their coffees arrived and they ordered their food.

And Wille’s tales of a life at sea, which were way less romantic than they might have seemed, took them to their plates being cleared, and Dmitri asking, “More coffee?”

Looking towards Simon, Wille raised an eyebrow. Simon shook his head and said, “I think I’d quite like my tour now, if that’s still an option?”

Wille wasn’t sure how to tell Simon that he’d happily spend every waking moment with him if he could (and all the sleeping ones too, but maybe that was a bit far even only in his head) without sounding either desperate, or a little bit scary. So he settled for a smile and a nod, pushing his chair back.

They left the restaurant in silence, Wille inclining his head to a couple of people as he passed. Once they were safely out of sight once more, Wille said, “I thought we’d go out on deck first?”

Simon’s eyes lit up. “Yes please!” he said. “I’ve been meaning to but…”

“You haven’t been out there at all yet?” 

“Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I was basically bedridden for two full days,” - Wille had not forgotten, given that one of those beds had been his own - “and then I’ve worked. A lot. This is my first day off. So you’d better make it worth it.” 

Simon's cheeky grin did something funny to Wille’s insides. He desperately wanted to ask if Simon thought that this was a date or not, but he also dreaded the answer. And since he was willing to do practically anything to continue hanging out with him, he kept his mouth shut. 

Wille led them along another corridor and out of some doors to the left where they were immediately blasted by a gust of Baltic sea air.

Taking a deep breath in, Wille sighed. This was what he loved about what he did. The ocean, the air, the vastness of everything. His brain quieted somewhat when all that his ears could hear was the roaring of the waves and the whistling of the wind. Today wasn’t a particularly inclement day, but the weather often felt harsher when you were in the middle of the ocean, even in early September. 

When he turned to face Simon, he was already looking at Wille with a curious expression on his face. 

“What?” Wille said, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing,” Simon replied, quickly. The wind seemed to have turned Simon’s cheeks slightly pink; it also made his curls dance in the most delightful way. If Wille’s fingers hadn’t already been itching to reach out and touch them, they certainly were now, and all he wanted to do was brush them off Simon’s beautiful face.

Before he could do something ridiculous, Wille cleared his throat and motioned towards the bow. On the way, Simon stopped to climb up on the railing and lean out to look at the deck below, which stood further out than their own. It took everything in Wille’s power not to haul him back in, but he just about resisted. 

As they neared the front, Wille glanced sideways at Simon. “Are you doing okay?” he asked. “The movement is much more pronounced this high up and far forward.”

“Hah,” Simon said, standing still with his arms out as if to test. “I hadn’t even noticed.”

“It’s easier to correct yourself when you’re out on deck,” Wille said. “Because you can see the horizon. But you feel okay?”

“Yeah,” Simon said. “I’ve felt fine since those first few days.”

“That’s good,” Wille said, as they started walking again. “That probably means you’ll be fine for the rest of it. Although we pass the Bay of Biscay next week before heading into the Mediterranean, it’s notoriously rough. But I’m pleased that you’ve been doing better, I was worried.”

“I know,” Simon said, shooting him a shy smile. Then his face turned more serious. “I need you to know how grateful I am for what you did for me this week.”

Wille felt his throat constrict at Simon’s expression. His mind wandered back to the little frog plush that was currently perched on his bedside table.

“I mean it,” Simon said. “I have no idea what I’d have done without you.”

“I’m sure you’d have been fine,” Wille said, trying to swallow around the tightness.

“No, Wille,” Simon said, stopping to reach out a hand, placing it on Wille’s forearm. The warmth seeped through Wille’s sleeve and sank all the way down to his bones. “It was a really big deal. I’m so grateful. I—”

Simon seemed unable to finish that sentence, and shook his head with a small laugh. When he removed his hand, Wille could still feel the ghost of it through the fabric of his shirt. 

When they carried on walking, their shoulders bumped every now and again, as if they’d chosen to walk slightly closer together. The thought made Wille giddy and terrified in equal measure. He’d not felt like this about anyone in such a long time. Perhaps not since he was a teenager. And maybe not even then.

Behind him was a very short string of failed relationships, none of which he’d ever felt strongly enough about to lament their demise. When he’d told Felice about the frog, she’d almost vibrated out of her skin with excitement, and then proceeded to put all sorts of thoughts in his head that had made turning up today significantly more nerve-racking than it should have been. 

Once they reached the front of the ship, Simon gave a small, excited shout and jumped up onto the lowest rung of the railing, holding his hands out to the side. His joy was infectious, and despite Wille having been up here thousands of times, he found himself experiencing it - really experiencing it - for the first time.

Laughing, Simon turned to him. “You’re not going to do a Leo?”

Wille blushed. “I, uhm…”

“I’m joking, Wille.” Simon flung his head back and let out a joyful whoop.

In that moment, Wille wanted nothing more than to stand behind Simon, wrap his arms around him, and kiss down the side of that beautiful neck. Instead, he compromised by stepping up onto the railing beside him and screeching into the sky.

Simon looked at him in delight, a giddy smile on his face. When Wille met his eyes he almost did it, almost leant forward and kissed him right there on the bow of the ship, Kate and Leo eat your heart out. But then he remembered where they were, he saw a pair of elderly women walk past, looking at them curiously, and a group on the deck below crane their necks to see what the noise was about.

Clearing his throat, Wille hopped down and gave the women a curt nod. Simon looked disappointed as he joined Wille back on the deck. Needing to do something to make up for the loss, Wille scrambled to think of where to go next. “Would you like to see the library?” he said.

Simon's eyes lit up again. “Yes please!”

With only a slight sinking feeling in his stomach, Wille led him away from the beautiful view and back into the interior of the ship.

They spent the whole day together. Wille couldn’t quite believe how easy and natural it felt. Normally, people exhausted him, and much as he might like them, he was ready for a break after a couple of hours. But not Simon. He could have spent days, weeks, an eternity, laughing and smiling with him. They ate ice cream on the chilly aft deck, and drank coffee in one of the viewing lounges; they visited the library, and the gym, and the cinema; Wille showed Simon up to the bridge and ignored the snide looks from the captain; they looked round the casino, and more of the bars, and they even had a game of mini golf before grabbing some food from the buffet restaurant and taking it outside to eat. 

By the evening, Wille was exhausted and his feet hurt and he didn’t think he’d ever had a better day in his life. Simon was wiping away tears of mirth and Wille could do nothing but stare at him, unable to contain his grin.

“What?” Simon said, trying to calm down.

“Nothing,” Wille said. “I… I’ve had a really good day.”

Returning his smile, Simon said, “Me too.”

They both fell quiet, and Wille realised that this was probably the point where Simon wanted to go back to his cabin and have some time to himself. “I should probably let you get back,” Wille said. “It’s getting late.”

Simon nodded. “It is,” he said, but he made no move to leave the deck chairs where they were bundled under blankets to protect them from the biting sea air.

Suddenly struck with a surge of confidence, Wille sat up straight. “Or…” he said.

Simon’s eyes lit up. “Or?”

“Do you want to come and see the planetarium?”

Wille knew that it wasn’t open tonight, but he was sure he’d be able to wangle his way in. And it would be entirely worth doing if the excited look on Simon’s face was going to be his reward.

“Er, yes,” Simon said, laughing. “That sounds amazing.”

Simon was already on his feet, flinging the blanket back onto the chair.

“Okay,” Wille said, standing up beside him. “Follow me.” Itching to reach for Simon’s hand, Wille clenched his fists a couple of times.

A funny look flitted across Simon’s face, but it was gone before Wille could read into it. So off he set across the deck.

When Wille tried the doors to the planetarium, they were locked. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “I hoped Henry would have left them open.”

“It’s shut tonight?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, but he’ll let me in. I’ve just got to find him, hold on.”

Wille left Simon where he was and dashed around the corner, where he assumed Henry was skulking in the office. Sure enough, when he pushed open the door, Henry jumped and pretended to be hitting keys on his computer.

“Oh, hi, Wille!” he said.

“Henry, your screen is off,” Wille said. 

“Shit,” Henry muttered, panicking for a moment, before giving up and flopping back down into his chair. “Sorry, boss.”

“Not your boss. Which is lucky for you. But you can do me a favour.”

Henry groaned.

“Just let me into the planetarium and put on the cosmos show,” Wille said.

“But it’s cleaning day.”

Wille looked at his watch. “They’ll be finished by now. Please, Henry? For me?”

Henry looked at him sceptically. “Who are you trying to impress?”

“No one!” Wille said, too quickly.

A grin spread on Henry’s face. “So not that hot new singer that’s bunking with Maddie?”

“Who said— Urgh, I’m going to kill Maddie.”

Henry laughed. “Good luck with that. She’s got protection spells coming out of her ears, she’s probably got you cursed. Plus, it’s not just Maddie. You are not subtle.”

Wille didn’t reply as Henry stood up, jangling the keys on his belt as he headed to the door. 

“You owe me,” he said as he passed by.

Snorting, Wille said, “I do not.”

Henry grumbled as he got the key out. Simon was still waiting at the door as they rounded the corner. Heart picking up speed, Wille sent him a smile before he heard Henry make a faux gagging noise beside him. 

“Shut up,” Wille muttered, feeling the embarrassment flush his skin. 

Luckily, it didn’t seem that Simon had heard, because the grin on his face was just as soft as it had been and made Wille wish he could reach out and touch it. 

“There you go,” Henry said. “Let me know when you’re… done.”

The smirk on his face didn’t vanish at the panicked glare Wille sent his way, he just raised an eyebrow and sauntered off.

Throwing a nervous glance at Simon, Wille pushed open the door and led them inside.

Simon’s gasp made everything worth it. Wille knew that the planetarium was impressive, it was another of his favourite places on board The Crown. Often, when he was bored, he would come to the shows; but it was even better when it was closed to the public like this and he could have the place to himself. Sometimes he and Felice would bring a midnight picnic and spend hours chatting and eating and staring at the display.

But this was even better. Wille was filled with a giddy energy as he watched Simon taking everything in, eyes wide, lips slightly parted; lips that Wille really, really wanted to kiss. 

“Come on,” Wille said gently. “I’ll show you where the best seats are.”

They made their way down the aisle, Wille painfully aware of Simon’s presence as he followed silently behind. 

Wordlessly, Wille gestured to his favourite seats and let Simon slip in ahead of him.

Simon groaned slightly as he reclined in the chair, eliciting a tingling sensation behind Wille’s navel. Lowering himself into the seat beside Simon, Wille leant back too, shuffling close enough that they weren’t touching, but he could feel the heat from Simon’s arm beside him.

Just as Wille was wondering if he needed to fill the echoey silence, the show started above them. Simon gave a quiet gasp as stars appeared on the great, domed ceiling. 

Wille lost himself in the film for a while, letting the sounds and images wash over him. Before long, Wille became increasingly aware of Simon beside him, transfixed. Their hands were mere millimetres apart, and Wille was suddenly overcome with an urge to move his fingers just slightly to the left. 

His whole body was thrumming with an energy he could barely contain. Swallowing hard, he gently nudged his hand, carefully, slowly, until the side of his pinky just touched Simon’s. A breath, a whisper, so softly that it could be explained away as just proximity. One second, two. Wille took a breath. Three, four, fi— 

Simon moved his fingers slightly to the right, not taking his eyes off the screen, and hooked his pinky over Wilhelm’s. Suddenly, all Wille’s senses were honed to a few very specific points: his thunderous heartbeat in his ears, his ragged breathing, the aching tingle somewhere in the middle of his chest, and the intense burning where his hand was touching Simon’s.

Taking several steadying breaths in, Wille flexed his fingers slightly and was rewarded by Simon moving his grip over more of Wille’s hand. Emboldened, Wille turned his palm face up and laced their fingers together. Simon’s hand squeezed his. Feeling a pleased smile spreading on his face, Wille ducked his chin slightly. 

Seconds passed, and minutes. Neither of them moved or said anything, but now and again Simon would caress Wille’s fingers. The film continued playing overhead, but it could have been literally anything and Wille wouldn’t have noticed.

Unable to resist any longer, Wille turned his head to the side, watching the expressions of awe flit across Simon’s features. The stars were reflected in his dark eyes and Wille had never seen anything so beautiful.

After a moment, a grin appeared on Simon’s lips. “You’re not watching,” he whispered. 

“Yes I am,” Wille said, surprising himself.

He must have surprised Simon too, because he tilted his head to the side, his twinkling eyes meeting Wille’s.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said, laughing. 

“Maybe,” Wille said. “But I was enjoying what I was watching.”

The smile slowly slid off Simon’s face, and Wille was worried he’d crossed a line. Maybe light flirting was okay. And gifts. And spending a whole day together. And laughing more than he could ever remember laughing before. And an exclusive planetarium show. And holding hands. Maybe that was all okay. Maybe whatever this was was too much, maybe—

Simon moved forwards slightly, and Wille saw his eyes drop quickly to Wille’s mouth. Heart in his throat, Wille edged almost imperceptibly nearer. Their faces were so close now, Wille could feel Simon’s breath tickle his lips. He wanted to stay here forever, but he also wanted - needed - to know what Simon’s lips felt like, tasted like. He needed—

But then Simon closed the gap between them, and Wille stopped thinking at all. Simon’s lips were soft against his; gentle, but determined. It was everything Wille had ever wanted. The kiss only lasted a couple of seconds before Simon moved back a fraction, looking at Wille with a question in his eyes.

And Wille needed him to know that the answer to that question was yes. So he pressed forwards, bringing the hand that wasn’t still gripping Simon’s up to cup the back of Simon’s head, and pushed their lips back together. 

The angle was awkward, and it was making his shoulder ache, but holy shit he was kissing Simon. And Simon was kissing him back with equal fervour. Their mouths slotted together as if they’d done this a million times, but the giddy bubbling in the centre of Wille’s chest told of how new and exhilarating this was. 

On the screen above them, a supernova was exploding, and if Wille hadn’t been so overwhelmed with sensations, and the feel of Simon beneath his hands, he would have laughed at how ridiculous it was. 

Eventually they broke apart, but their faces stayed close together. Simon brought his free hand up to Wille’s face. Wille’s eyes fluttered shut as Simon traced his fingers across his cheekbone. “You’re beautiful,” Simon whispered.

Opening his eyes, he responded, “So are you.”

“I didn’t think—” Simon cut himself off.

“What?” Wille whispered. 

Simon shook his head. “Nevermind. Not now. Can you just kiss me again?”

There was no universe in which Wille would say no to that, so he leant forward and captured Simon’s lips again. The film lay forgotten above them until aeons later, Henry banged through the door with a disgruntled - “Show’s over!” - before stomping off again.

Giggling, hands clasped between them, they made their way back through the almost deserted corridors to Simon’s cabin. 

Outside the door, Wille leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Simon’s lips. “Goodnight, Simon,” he murmured.

Simon’s eyelids fluttered open slowly, gazing at Wille with a slightly dazed expression. “Goodnight, Wille.”

Stealing one last kiss, Simon quietly opened the door, and slipped into his room.

Wille watched the closed door for several moments, before letting out a giddy laugh, and heading back to his own cabin, considerably lighter than he’d felt in months, maybe years, with the sensation of Simon’s kiss still tingling on his lips.

Chapter Text

SIMON

The next day, Simon woke when Maddie left the room. She was very quiet, and usually he managed to get back to sleep, but today he just couldn’t. Tossing and turning for what felt like forever, Simon eventually pushed his covers away and clambered down off his bunk.

Looking in the mirror, he ran a hand over his sleep-rumpled hair. His eyes dropped to his lips. Carefully, he brushed his fingers over them, remembering how Wille’s had felt pressed against them. A giggle bubbled up his throat and broke free, surprising him. 

Oh shit. 

It had really happened. They’d really kissed. In a closed planetarium. After a day-long date. Had it been a date? Simon had been convinced that it wasn’t at first, but then as the day wore on, and he’d caught Wille gazing at him with a look in his eyes, he’d started to wonder…

But it wasn’t until Wille had very unsubtly held his hand that Simon had known, really known, that it wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him, and that Wille did feel some of the intense magnetism between them. 

It was utterly ridiculous that they’d only known each other for a week and Simon felt like this. He gave himself a stern look in the mirror. That lasted all of three seconds until his dopey grin split his face once more.

Oh no. 

This was bad. Simon wasn’t here to kiss cute boys, even if those cute boys happened to be the son of the owners of the whole fleet of ships. Maybe especially. Did that make it worse? Better? Simon wasn’t sure how he felt about that whole thing. All he knew was that when he was with Wille, he didn’t care who he was or how awkward it might be. All he knew was that Wille made him feel giddy and light and like he was the most important person in the world. So sue him if he wanted to feel good about himself.

Deciding to use his early morning to actually make it to breakfast today, he quickly donned some casual clothes, forgoing the uniform until later, and headed out of his cabin. 

The main restaurant was bustling when Simon arrived, mostly with holiday goers, but Simon spotted a few members of staff amongst the diners. Simon hadn’t spent very much time with his fellow grafters, opting to grab and go at most mealtimes instead. But today he hovered at the edge of the room after he’d filled his plate until he spotted a familiar face at one of the side tables.

Henry looked shocked as Simon pulled out a chair and said, “Is anyone sitting here?”

“No, go ahead,” Henry said, shovelling more food into his mouth. 

There was silence as Simon got himself settled and started eating. 

“So,” Henry said, around a mouthful of food, “you and Wille, huh?”

Simon forced down his forkful of pancake and looked around. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed about Wille. Quite the opposite in fact. But at the same time, he wasn’t entirely sure where they stood, and what was expected of them as employees. Not for the first time, he wished he’d paid more attention to the small print in his contract.

“I, uhm, don’t know what you mean,” Simon said.

Henry snorted. “Yeah. Okay. Very believable. It would help if I’d not had to forcibly remove his face from yours last night. But you keep telling yourself you’re subtle.”

Heat rose to Simon’s face and he fidgeted in his seat. “It’s not…” Simon didn’t really know where he was going with the sentence, because whatever he was trying to say it wasn’t, it probably was. Or at least, he hoped it would be. 

Hmm. He hadn’t really admitted that to himself before. What if it was just a one-time thing for Wille? What if—

But Henry was already fed up of waiting for whatever Simon might have said, and had dug back into his porridge with a huff.

Starting to regret his choice of breakfast-mate, Simon continued to eat in silence until Henry made a show of clattering his spoon into his bowl.

“Well,” he said, “as riveting as this has been, some of us have to work. Even though we were kept way past the end of our shift last night.”

Giving Simon a pointed look, he stood from the table and walked away, leaving Simon alone. He didn’t have long to feel awkward before the seat was taken by a decidedly more friendly Felice carrying a bowl of fruit salad.

“Hi,” she said, grinning.

Suspicious, Simon returned her greeting.

“How was yesterday?” she asked.

“Yesterday?” he said, feigning ignorance.

“Yes, yesterday. Don’t play dumb with me. Even if I hadn’t already known, you two are so obvious, it’s a bit embarrassing.”

Scowling, Simon stabbed at his food, feeling his ears grow hot.

“So you two talk about everything?”

“Yep,” said Felice, popping a grape into her mouth.

“Great,” he said. “Good to know.”

Sensing his discomfort, she dropped her voice. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just thought…”

“No,” he sighed. “It’s fine. I’m just not used to… whatever this is here.”

“Yeah,” she said, spearing a piece of strawberry. “It gets a bit strange. Living in each others’ pockets and knowing everyone’s business.”

Simon toyed with his fork for a moment. “Does… everyone know everyone’s business?”

“Not everyone,” she said. “But… Wille and I… we—”

“I know you’re close,” Simon said, quickly. “And I’m not actually annoyed, don’t worry. It’s just new, and… I don’t really know what it is. And it’s a bit unnerving not being able to figure that out on my own.”

“I get that,” she said. “But—”

“Hi.”

Simon nearly toppled sideways off his chair in surprise.

Snorting, Felice shimmied her own chair over to make room for Wille, who was looking at Simon with an amused expression.

“Good morning,” Wille said, when Simon had recovered somewhat. 

“Good morning,” Simon said, and was horrified to hear how breathy his voice sounded. 

Looking pleased with himself, Wille turned to Felice. “How’s the ballroom class looking?”

Felice groaned and rolled her eyes. “Nightmare,” she said. “Again. The list is eighty percent women again. All of them want to dance with Antonio again. And none of them will dance with each other because it’s not ‘proper’.” She curled her fingers around the word with a disgusted look on her face. 

Wille placed a sympathetic hand on Felice’s arm. Simon watched her eyes soften as she covered his hand with her own. “I’m sorry, Felice,” Wille said. “I know it makes your life more difficult. Can I help?”

Simon should have seen what was coming with the speed at which her face lit up. “Yes!” she cried. “You both can.”

She turned to face Simon as Wille started spooning cereal into his mouth. 

“Simon.”

Sensing a request coming, Simon tentatively replied, “Yes?”

“Can you dance?”

“No,” said Simon. “Absolutely not. Two left feet. In fact, fifty two left feet.”

Felice’s face fell. “But you’ve got such good rhythm!” 

“Oh, he can dance,” Wille said, casually, not looking at Simon.

“Excuse me, what?” Simon said, as Felice’s grin spread over her face. 

Wille continued eating his cereal, still not meeting his eye. “I’ve seen you,” he said, slightly muffled through cornflakes.

“You’ve seen me… dance?”

Nodding into his bowl, Wille tried for a nonchalant shrug, but Simon could sense the tension in the way he was holding his shoulders. “You dance whilst you sing,” was all he said.

“I dance when… How many of my sets have you seen?”

Now, Wille did look up at him. And Simon felt time slowing down as Wille’s eyes caught his own. “All of them,” Wille said, his voice slightly hoarse.

Simon swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. He didn’t know what to say. He knew Wille had been in the bar a couple of times, and had always assumed he’d just been popping in to see how everything was going (he was still unclear on what Wille’s job actually was); but the fact that Wille had been in to watch every set, and surreptitiously, as if that might for some reason not be okay? That made Simon’s skin tingle in the best way. It made him want to skip. It made him want to jump up and hug Wille. It made him want to—

“Oooooookay,” Felice said, drawing out the word to break whatever spell had just descended over their table. 

Wille’s eyes snapped away from Simon’s, and Simon could see a pink blush spreading across Wille’s cheeks and down his throat. He wanted to touch it. With his tongue.When he finally tore his eyes away from where Wille’s neck disappeared into the collar of his shirt, he found Felice looking at him with an amused expression on her face. 

“Anyway,” she said, stifling a laugh. “I need both of you to help me out then.”

Simon recognised when he’d lost, so he listened to Felice’s instructions whilst he finished his breakfast and tried not to think about where Wille’s blush went once it dipped below his collar. 

It seemed Wille was also focussing too hard on his breakfast, ears still slightly pink. And it made Simon feel marginally better that he wasn’t the only one struggling to concentrate when Wille’s lips were just right there and it had been almost twelve hours since he’d had his own on them.

“So your shift starts at two today, Simon. Please can you come straight up to the ballroom?”

“Wait— there’s a ballroom?” Simon said, whipping his head to Felice.

“Yes,” Felice said, impatiently. “Where did you think we held the ballroom dancing lessons?”

Simon did not justify that with a response. What on earth was this boat? But he supposed he’d been kissing someone in a planetarium last night so he shouldn’t be too surprised.

Wille was looking at him with an amused expression on his face, so Simon just huffed. “Fine,” he said. “But if August takes it out on me for missing another bar shift, I’m sending him your way.”

“Deal,” Felice said brightly, clapping her hands. She leant over and pressed a kiss to Wille’s cheek. “See you both at two. Bring your dancing shoes!” And with that she jumped up, taking her bowl and sunny disposition with her. 

“Was she being… figurative?” Simon asked. “About the shoes?”

Wille laughed, bright and easy, pushing his chair away from the table. “She was,” he said. “Although having a real pair wouldn’t hurt.”

“Have you seen the size of my cabin?” Simon said, following Wille with his empty plate and depositing it on the rack. “Why would I have packed ballroom dancing shoes?”

Shrugging, Wille grinned. “Maybe you had dreams of becoming a dancer.”

Simon snorted. “Singing is fine, thank you very much.”

Laughing, Wille held the door open and guided them through it. Taking a deep breath as he squeezed past Wille, Simon felt his whole body tingle from the proximity. He was quite glad that Wille seemed unruffled, walking away from the restaurant with long strides, giving Simon a chance to pull himself together before following.

Falling into step beside him, Simon wasn’t sure how to fill the silence that had descended on them. It wasn’t awkward per se, but Simon felt the anticipation fizzing in the air. He also wasn’t sure where they were heading, or if he was supposed to ask.

“Did you, uh, sleep okay?” Wille asked after a while.

“Yes, thank you,” Simon said, scolding himself for how formal he sounded. “Maddie woke me up when she left this morning though.”

Wille’s expression turned sympathetic. “Yeah,” he said. “Those rooms don’t really lend themselves to people on different shifts do they?”

Simon hummed in agreement. “Although, getting ready in the morning would be a nightmare if we were both fighting for the bathroom at the same time.”

“True,” Wille said. “Well, if you ever want to use my shower, you’re more than welcome…” He trailed off at the end of his sentence, as if only just realising what he’d offered. 

Shooting him a grin, Simon replied - “Thanks. Noted” - and watched as a delightful blush rose on Wille’s cheeks again.

Wille must have caught him looking, because his sheepish expression turned somewhat mischievous, but he didn’t say anything else as they continued down the corridor. Simon realised they were heading back to the stairs down to the staff quarters.

“So,” Simon said, searching around for something else to break the tension that had fallen, “ballroom dancing lessons, huh?”

“Apparently so,” Wille sighed. “It happens constantly. We end up with a load of women, who refuse to dance with each other, and a shortage of male partners. I often get roped in. I’ve tried to tell Felice to cancel the event but she insists.”

“I don’t know,” Simon said, with a grin. “I’m looking forward to seeing your moves.”

Chuckling, Wille shook his head. “I’m sure you’ll be sorely disappointed. We’re basically just warm bodies for the guests to learn with.”

They started descending the stairs, both being careful to not touch the bannisters. Or each other.

“Is that right?” Simon said, trying to distract himself from thinking about Wille’s warm body, which was made even more difficult from his vantage point of slightly above on the stairs, where he could imagine looping his arms around Wille’s neck and—

“I’m afraid so. So the fact that you can actually dance will be irrelevant.”

Simon snorted. “But I actually can’t.”

“Of course you can,” Wille said. “Felice is right. You have such good rhythm. And I’ve seen the way you move during your sets.”

“Because you keep sneaking in to watch?” Simon tried to sound teasing, but he thought it probably came out a bit too breathy for that.

“Yes,” Wille said. And the simplicity of the admission made Simon’s stomach swoop and caused him to lose any pithy comeback he might have had.

So instead, he just followed Wille further down into the bowels of the ship, without really knowing where they were going. A fact that Wille had apparently picked up on as they began walking down the long corridor towards the staff quarters.

“Are you just following me to my office?” he said, throwing a curious look over his shoulder.

Simon could feel heat rise to his cheeks. “No,” he said, potentially a little too indignantly. “I’m going back to my cabin.”

“Hmm,” Wille said, turning away again with a slight smile. “Okay.”

“What?” Simon said. “It’s early. My shift doesn’t start for another four hours.”

Suddenly, Wille stopped walking, causing Simon to bump into him. Barely having time to look up in surprise, Simon found Wille crowding him against the wall, the smell of coffee and laundry detergent and Wille filling his nostrils until it made him dizzy. 

Intense gaze fixed on him, Wille paused for a moment before crashing their lips together.

Simon responded with enthusiasm, tilting his head to the side for a better angle, plunging his fingers into Wille’s hair, opening his mouth to welcome Wille’s tongue, which eagerly moved with his own.

Almost as soon as it had started, the kiss was over. Wille pushed back, one hand bracing against the wall, one gripping Simon’s hip. It burned through his layers of clothes.

A smile spread on Wille’s face as he nudged their noses together. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” Simon responded, unable to stop the giddy laugh from bubbling up his throat. 

“I have a meeting in twenty minutes,” Wille said, still brushing Simon’s nose with his own.

“Is that so?” Simon asked, playing with the hair at the nape of Wille’s neck.

“Mhm.” Wille’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Would you like some company until then?”

Simon almost held his breath waiting for the response.

Wille’s eyes opened and he watched Simon for a beat, before smiling and pushing himself away from the wall.

The whine that left Simon’s lips was cut off as Wille grabbed his hand and tugged him along the corridor to his office.

Just ten minutes later, Simon exited Wille’s office laughing, leaving behind Wille, who insisted he needed a good few minutes to gather himself before his meeting. Wille had been looking decidedly less put together than he had when he’d arrived for breakfast, but Simon liked to think that there would probably be more of a spring in his step on his way to discuss budget and other equally tedious sounding things that Simon had stopped listening to in favour of kissing Wille up against his desk.

For lack of anything better to do whilst waiting for his shift to start, Simon headed back up to stroll around the deck. Yesterday, he had thoroughly enjoyed being shown around by Wille, but he had to admit that he’d spent a little too much time concentrating on Wille , and not the things he’d been shown. 

He knew they were docking tomorrow, today being the last sea day for a while as they hopped between a few ports. It meant his shifts would ease up slightly over the next week, which he was exceptionally grateful for. So far, he was enjoying himself, but he had to admit that he was tired. 

The decks were busy with people enjoying the sea air. Without his uniform on, Simon was fairly inconspicuous, and managed to meander through the guests without turning any heads. He made it to the railing and leant up against it, looking out. 

The sea was calm today, he watched as the waves bobbed up and down, some crashing into the side of the ship. Wispy clouds were scudding across the clear blue sky, the sun peeking out, its reflection making the water dazzle. It really was beautiful.

Suddenly, Simon became aware of someone leaning against the railing beside him. He turned to find a woman whose face he recognised, dressed in a floaty red sundress to match her lipstick and huge straw hat. It wasn’t quite the weather for this outfit, and she was having to use one hand to hold the hat in place in the bluster, but he supposed if one was on holiday, one might wear certain clothes regardless.

She was reclining casually on the barrier, face tilted to the sun, small smile on her lips. After a few moments, she turned to face him. “Oh!” she said, as if he’d startled her. “Hello!” 

Recognising her as a regular from The Apex, Simon plastered on a professional smile. “Good morning,” he said. 

“Fancy seeing you here!” she cooed, placing an unwelcome hand on his arm. Her smile widened, eyes scanning up and down his body. Simon noticed that her face appeared too tight, and the absence of lines around her eyes made it hard to judge her expression. He wondered who she was trying to look young for. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. My name’s Annemarie.”

Gritting his teeth, Simon widened his smile but took a small step away, removing his arm.

She looked slightly disappointed, but hitched a flirtatious smile back onto her face. “I didn’t think they ever let you out of that place!” she laughed. “I never see you around here.”

With his smile starting to hurt his cheeks, Simon nodded. “Well, we don’t get much time to relax,” he said. “It is our job after all.”

“Oh pish!” she said. “They work you youngsters too hard. It was all partying for me when I was in my twenties. Although I can still hold my own a decade or two on.” She winked at him, as if he was in on the joke. “Plus, you’re far too pretty to be cooped up all day long. You should be given a chance to mingle.”

Suddenly she was leaning forwards, her fingers tracing down Simon’s cheek. Stumbling away and out of reach, he pursed his lips together, heart thumping, noting the disappointment on her face.

“I, uhm,” he said, frustrated with how unsure he sounded, “I have to go.”

“Will I see you later?” she asked, her voice slightly smaller, almost abashed.

But it didn’t stop Simon’s stomach roiling uncomfortably as he gave her a tight smile before saying, “I’ll be in my usual spot!” And he turned before she could respond.

Trying to shake all the tension from his limbs, Simon half ran down to his cabin, slamming the door gratefully behind him. 

He knew unwanted attention kind of came with the territory, but he’d never had someone cross a physical boundary so blatantly before. It made his skin feel tight on his body. 

Shrugging out of his clothes, he took a long shower, and felt slightly more steady by the time two o'clock rolled around.

Walking into the ballroom, the first thing he noticed was the ridiculous chandelier on the ceiling. The second thing he noticed was the group of guests waiting on the seats to the side of the room; Felice was right, this was a very female-heavy group. The third thing he noticed was Wille, who was leaning against the wall, chatting to Felice as she flipped through a folder. 

Simon paused by the door for a moment, he could feel a smile slip unbidden onto his lips. Rolling them together to hide it, he shook his head and strode into the room, chastising himself for being so affected by a pretty boy. Even if that pretty boy looked exceptionally good in his tailored trousers. And had had his tongue in Simon’s mouth not five hours earlier.

Felice noticed him before Wille did, sending him a slightly frazzled smile. Then Wille turned around and his face lit up, making Simon’s knees wobble a little on his way over.

“Hi, Simon,” Felice said. “Right, we can get started. Antonio is just— ah! There he is!” Felice excused herself and hurried across the dancefloor to a man that had just appeared through a different door.

“Hi,” Wille said, taking a step closer to Simon.

Simon pressed a finger into Wille’s chest and stepped back with a grin. Wille’s face fell.

Simon laughed. “No,” he said. “We have to stay at least an arm’s length apart.”

Looking nonplussed, Wille said, “Why?” It came out almost as a whine, making Simon laugh even more.

“Because,” Simon said, lowering his voice slightly. “I’m not sure if I can keep my hands off you if I can reach you.”

Feeling exceptionally pleased with the blush that rushed to Wille’s cheeks, Simon turned and headed back over to where Felice was rallying the staff, which consisted of Antonio and a couple of others that Simon had never met before.

“Okay,” she said. “Antonio’s going to start the lesson in a minute. He’ll direct you guys to where you need to be. I can’t stay this time, I’ve got tech coming to sort out the sound in the theatre. Hope it goes well!” And with that she hurried from the room.

Antonio reached forward to shake Simon’s hand. “Antonio. Nice to meet you.”

“Simon.” He nodded, scanning his eyes up and down Antonio as he did so. The other man looked every inch the dancer, with slicked back dark hair, a black shirt slashed to the waist, and phenomenally tight trousers.

“I hope you brought your dancing shoes,” he said, dropping Simon’s hand and throwing him a wink before turning to nod a greeting to Wille.

“Hey, Antonio,” Wille said. “Sorry you’re stuck with me again.”

“You know that’s never an issue,” Antonio said, squeezing his shoulder. “Okay!” Antonio called, pulling everyone’s attention to the guests that were congregated on the chairs at the side. “Everyone up! Let’s start with a short warm up exercise!”

It turned out Simon’s lack of ballroom dancing experience did not matter. Wille was right, Simon was just a warm body for the guests to dance with. And they were all clamouring over Antonio anyway. Wille also had a small fan club that jumped at the chance to dance with him, and after a few begrudging minutes where Wille and Antonio were otherwise engaged, Simon developed his own gaggle of groupies. 

Some couples had clearly come together and danced as partners, but their job as extra staff members seemed to be solely to make sure that the individual guests didn’t feel left out or - shock horror - have to dance with other women. Simon got more wound up the longer he stayed, and the more times someone commented on him being a ‘leading gentleman’ or similar.

Luckily, Simon was able to distract himself by watching Wille. And it definitely made him trip over his feet more than he might otherwise have done. Although Wille didn’t seem completely comfortable, Simon noted that he was exceptionally good at schmoozing the guests. And it didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally good whilst doing it. 

Simon stared at Wille’s hands, splayed on his partner’s back, his long neck that Simon was desperate to kiss, the dip of his waist where his shirt was tucked into those delectable trousers. Wille caught him staring a few times and sent a flirty wink, causing Simon to bump into his current partner, or lose his place in the very basic choreography, or walk into a chair. And Simon found himself unable to be embarrassed about it.

Towards the end of the session, Antonio called them all together to demonstrate some additional steps.

“Wilhelm! Simon!” he called, pulling them from the crowd. “Come up here and help me, would you?”

Slightly reluctantly, Simon stepped up towards Antonio. If nothing else, this session had made him realise why he enjoyed singing so much. 

“Wilhelm, you stand here,” Antonio directed. “And we're missing Felice today, so I’m just going to borrow you instead, Simon. Come here.”

Antonio placed a firm hand on Simon’s hip and dragged him towards Wille, squaring them up to face each other.

“Hi,” Wille breathed, smiling down at him.

“Hi,” Simon whispered back. He thought he heard Antonio snort somewhere behind him, but then he was gone.

“Okay!” Antonio said, clapping his hands together. “So we have our lovely volunteers here to show you where your hands need to go for this dip. Anyone that doesn’t want to try, doesn’t have to. But if any of you are feeling adventurous, it’s a nice flourish you can add to your routines.”

Antonio was back behind Simon, manipulating Wille’s hands so that one was grasped in Simon’s, and one was pressed firmly into his lower back.

“Sorry, Simon,” Antonio said. “I’m just taking advantage of Wille’s height here and having you be dipped. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, that’s fine,” Simon said, slightly breathless as he felt Wille’s hands flex at his waist through the thin shirt .

“Good,” Antonio said. “Okay!”

Antonio launched into an explanation of the move. Simon was paying attention just enough to not make a fool of himself, but mostly he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Wille’s. Eyes that were looking at him so intensely. Feeling Wille’s body moving against his as he leant Simon back, their hips pressing dangerously close, made him a little lightheaded, and when Wille righted him again, he felt almost drunk. 

Simon’s body ached for the contact again once they were directed back out onto the floor to take it in turns with different partners, but he thought it had probably been a good thing that they’d had to separate. He wasn’t sure how long he could have resisted kissing Wille if he’d stayed in his arms much longer. 

After a few minutes, a couple sidled up to Simon and tapped him on the shoulder, interrupting his dance.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the gentleman said. “I seem to have forgotten what to do with my feet. I don’t suppose we could have another demonstration?”

“That’s okay,” the woman in Simon’s arms said, slipping out of his hold. “I need to head off now anyway.”

Simon tried to show the couple what they were supposed to do, but found that explaining in words wasn’t as easy as Antonio made it seem, and the man himself was currently busy with another couple. Looking around in a bit of a panic, Simon caught sight of Wille just finishing up with his partner. “Wille!” he called. “Do you mind coming and helping me?”

Wille excused himself and headed over. “Mhm?” he asked as he got within earshot.

“Can you do the dip with me again to show these guests?”

Simon thought he might have seen a mischievous twinkle in Wille’s eye as he nodded. “Sure,” he said. “Here.” And he grabbed Simon’s waist and pulled him closer again.

Almost forgetting how to breathe, Simon grasped Wille’s hand and let himself be guided through the move again. When they were done, the couple thanked them and moved away to try themselves, just as Antonio announced the end of the session.

As the guests finished up and filed out, Wille’s hands were still on him, and Simon felt like he was going to melt on the spot. The hand that Simon had resting on Wille’s shoulder crept up towards the nape of his neck, fingers tangling into the hair there. Wille’s palm on Simon’s back pressed harder, drawing them together. Simon tilted his chin up just as Wille dipped his head down and—

A loud cough made them spring apart. Antonio was looking at them in amusement. “I think I remember you saying something about ‘on the dancefloor or off the clock’, boss?”

“Not your boss,” Wille said, voice low, not moving his eyes from Simon. “And also still technically on the dancefloor.”

Suddenly embarrassed, Simon swallowed and stepped away from Wille. He lamented the loss immediately, but was painfully aware that Antonio was right, he was working, and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise his job. 

Wille dropped his hands too. “Sorry,” he said.

Smiling weakly, Simon shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. “Just remembering why I set myself that arm’s length rule earlier.”

Wille returned his smile and seemed to shake himself out of whatever had descended over them. “All good then?” he said, turning to Antonio.

Busying himself over the sound system Antonio nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “It wasn’t too bad today. Thanks for your help, you two.”

“No problem,” Wille said. “Do you need help packing away or…?”

“No,” he said. “It’s fine. You two go do… whatever you need to.” He threw them a knowing smirk that made Simon’s cheeks heat even more. 

“My set starts in The Apex in a bit,” Simon said, gesturing over his shoulder. “I should…”

Technically, he still had a few hours to go, but he also knew he should be behind the bar until then. Wille looked as disappointed as Simon felt, but Simon knew himself well enough to know he should be putting some distance between them.

“Okay,” Wille said. “What time do you finish?”

“Midnight,” Simon said. “But… maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Nodding, Wille said. “It’s the employee quiz night in the Captain’s Lounge tomorrow night. Will you come?”

Quizzes weren’t really Simon’s thing, but he was quickly realising that Wille was his thing. So he nodded. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah,” Wille said, hovering awkwardly. “See you there.”

Throwing a quick wave over his shoulder, Simon sped from the room, not daring to slow down until he was safely in his bar, and under the oppressive glare of August, which did wonders for dousing the smouldering fire in the pit of his stomach.

WILLE

Wille had never looked forward to an employee quiz night so much. Usually, he dreaded them, and was dragged along to them by Felice, or bullied into going by August or his mother, both of whom told him that it was good for appearances. 

But tonight, Simon was going, and Wille was quickly realising that he wanted to be pretty much anywhere that Simon was. He’d chosen to go and sit in August’s bar for fuck’s sake. Multiple times. In fact, every single time Simon had sung. So much so, he was starting to worry he was coming on a bit too strong. 

Simon didn’t seem to mind though, if the dazzling smile he sent over as Wille arrived in the Captain's Lounge was anything to go by. Felice was already there. As quiz master, her job was to make sure everyone stayed on topic and no one got too raucous, whilst she asked the questions. 

With not a small amount of disappointment, Wille noticed that Simon was sandwiched between the wall and Henry. Not to be deterred, Wille made his way over and took the seat opposite, offering a cheerful ‘hi’ to Henry, before turning to Simon.

“Hi,” he said, slightly nervous. He hadn’t seen Simon properly yet today, and was almost taken aback by the bubbling giddiness in his chest.

“Hi,” Simon replied. The breathlessness of his answer made Wille feel slightly less ridiculous at his body’s own reaction. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Henry muttered under his breath. “Move.”

Tearing his eyes away from Simon’s, Wille looked at Henry, blinking blearily a couple of times. “What?” he said.

Henry was standing, an exasperated look on his face. He grabbed a handful of Wille’s shirt and yanked him up.

“What the—” Wille said.

“I’m not sitting in between you two fools whilst you make heart eyes at each other all night. Move. And then I might just about be able to tolerate being on your team.”

Wille did as he was told. As he walked past Henry he said, “What if I don’t want you on my team?”

“Oh, please,” Henry said, flopping down onto Wille’s vacated seat. “Like you can manage the sports round without me.”

Wille had to admit that Henry was right, but as he slid into the chair beside Simon, casually shifting it slightly closer, he found that he didn’t really care very much any more.

“Hi,” Wille said, turning to Simon.

“You already said that,” Simon said, a teasing grin on his face.

Wille felt his cheeks heating up. “I know,” he said. “But since I’m not on the clock any more” - he leant forward slightly, swaying into Simon’s personal space - “I thought I could say hello properly.”

“Mhm?” Simon said, leaning closer. “Hi, then.”

Wille heard Henry mutter something under his breath, but his brain couldn’t comprehend anything except Simon filling all of his senses. He closed the last bit of space between them and pressed his lips to Simon’s, soft and chaste, before pulling back again. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Alright!” Felice called over Henry’s renewed groan. “I think everyone’s here now, so let’s get started. Tables are teams as normal.”

Wille only half listened as Felice explained the structure of the quiz to the newbies, intent as he was on watching Simon’s profile as he took in the rules. When she’d finished, Simon turned to him, a grin on his face. “I hope you know that I won’t tolerate you not concentrating on this quiz. I’m very competitive.”

“Noted,” Wille said, leaning forward again.

“I want a new team!” Henry declared.

“Pipe down, Henry,” Felice said. “They’ll keep it in their pants. Won’t you?” She glared at Wilhelm and Simon, who had the decency to look contrite.

“Good. Right. First round. Famous faces.” She distributed the sheets and handed each team a pencil. Wille tried exceptionally hard not to ogle Simon’s fingers as he twirled it between them.

“Wilhelm’s shit at this one,” Henry announced. “So I hope you’re good, Simon.”

“Hey!” Wille protested, even though Henry was right.

“I don’t think I’ll be too bad,” Simon said. “Depends what sort of famous faces we’re talking about.”

“Okay!” said Felice. “You can start. You can come back to this one during the questions too if you need to.”

Wille peered over at the sheet. As usual, the badly photocopied celebrity mugshots did not look at all familiar to him, despite Simon frantically scribbling, barely letting Henry get a word in edgeways. Until—

“Oh! I know that one!” Wille said, reaching over and pointing at a blonde woman with big doe eyes wearing a ludicrous headdress.

Raising his eyebrow, Simon said, “Seriously? Who is it?”

Wille pulled the sheet towards him and scribbled her name. ‘Princess Beatrice’.

“Who the fuck is—”

Simon flapped his hands at Henry to get him to be quiet, furtively looking around at the other teams bent over their paper.

“Shush, Henry! The others have all been so easy, maybe this will win us this round. But I second the sentiment.” He dropped his voice to a whisper, his breath ghosting over Wille’s ear and making his whole body tingle. “Who the fuck is Princess Beatrice?”

“She’s a member of the British Royal Family,” he said. “Ninth in line to the throne. Or something.” He knew for a fact that she was ninth in line, having had to listen to her prattle on about it at the last event they were at together.

“How the fuck do you know Princess Beatrice?”

“He knows loads of royalty,” Henry said, with a vague gesture of his arm. 

“Really?” Simon said, turning a curious expression to Wille.

Wille just shrugged, feeling his cheeks burn. “We sometimes go to the same events,” he said.

“The same events? How—”

But he was interrupted by Felice. “Okay, everyone!” she called. “I’m going to start the first round - general knowledge!” 

There was a collective groan and she just shrugged. “Question one!”

Wille felt like they didn’t do too badly on general knowledge. When they moved onto the next section, Wille’s pretty decent geography knowledge was eclipsed by how abysmal they all seemed to be at world history. Henry was correct in his assumption that he would carry the team through the sports section, knowing a rather alarming amount about Olympics stats, but Simon absolutely shone for the music questions.

“Fucking hell!” Henry said, once they got to the end of the round. “How did you know all that shit?”

Simon shrugged, his cheeks turning pink. “I like music,” was all he said in response. 

“Right, tie breaker round,” Felice said. “US states!”

Everyone groaned. 

“Felice!” Henry whined. “We haven’t got anyone American on the ship at the moment. It’s so unfair!”

“Maddie is—”

“Not doing the quiz!” Henry interrupted. “So my point still stands.”

“That just makes it more fair,” Felice countered. “I’m going to give you three minutes to write down as many as you can. Go!”

There was a mad scramble and lots of furious whispering as everyone tried to write down several things at once.

Wille contributed ‘Florida’ and ‘California’ before realising that, once again, Simon had it in hand. So instead Wille let himself watch as Simon scribbled frantically, a small crease between his eyebrows and his tongue held between his teeth. It was considerably more captivating than it had any right to be, and Wille felt his neck get warm. 

Felice called the three minutes just as Wille was worried he might need a cold shower when he got back to his room. Simon flung the pencil down and beamed at him. It didn’t help.

“Swap papers and I’ll start giving the answers,” she said, before micromanaging the answer exchange to make sure it was fair.

Wille was quietly smug that their team was the only one to get Princess Beatrice, but unfortunately, it still didn’t win it for them. He and Henry had still done significantly better than normal with the addition of Simon, but another team took the prize.

“Ah well,” Wille said, as they made their way out and back down to the staff quarters. “Maybe next time!”

“Yeah,” Simon said. “It was good fun.”

“Wait until you see the Christmas one,” Wille said. “We all wear costumes. Felice wore a massive snowman dress last year.”

Simon laughed. “Sounds good. But… I probably won’t be here for the Christmas one.”

“Oh?” Wille said over his shoulder as they descended the stairs. 

“Yeah,” Simon said. “I think I’m just doing this one contract, then heading home.”

Wille felt like someone had doused him in cold water. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Simon bumped into his back, holding out his hands to brace himself against Wille’s shoulders, giggling.

“What did you stop for?” he said.

Turning around, Wille studied Simon’s face. The smile slipped off it quickly, probably sensing the panic that was slowly rising in Wille’s chest. He tried to swallow hard and tell himself that he was being dramatic, and that of course Simon wasn’t going to stay onboard forever, and that this was really new, and they’d only kissed for the first time two days ago. But it felt like something had been taken away from him, the potential of something more. Something real. 

“What?” Simon said, looking worried. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, Wille forced a smile onto his face. “Nothing,” he said. “Of course. I didn’t think. I forget not everyone lives on this ship forever like me.” The laugh that followed sounded fake even to his own ears and didn’t ease the tension in Simon’s brows.

“Hmm,” Simon said after too long a pause.

The air felt wrong, and suddenly Wille wanted to be alone, a feeling that he was very used to having, but not recently. Not when Simon was around. 

“I— uhm…” Wille seemed to have lost the ability to form sentences. 

Simon watched him cautiously for a moment, before sending him a gentle smile and placing a hand on his arm. 

“It’s still quite early,” he said. “Do you want to maybe go for a walk or something?”

“I don’t know,” Wille said, taking a step back so that Simon’s hand dropped. “I was kind of hoping to just go back to my cabin.”

What was he doing? Why was he sabotaging the best thing that had happened to him on this ocean-locked prison? 

“Oh.” Simon’s disappointment was palpable. “Okay.”

“I was just going to watch a film or something.”

Perking up a bit, Simon said, “I could… join you? Unless you wanted to be alone?”

The hopefulness in Simon’s eyes made the walls that Wille had hastily been trying to build around his heart in the last minute crumble again. “Okay,” he said. “Yeah. I… I don’t mind some company. Sure.”

Beaming at him, Simon slipped his hand into Wille’s and gave his arm a quick hug. “Perfect. Lead the way then.”

Arriving at his cabin, Wille hastily pushed away the pile of clothes on his bed and the used glasses cluttering the desk. It was too late to hide the frog plush that Simon was sure to have seen, but he’d have to deal with the embarrassment of having Simon know that he kept it on his bed.

“I still don’t have the best selection,” Wille said, handing his laptop to Simon, who was already sitting cross-legged on the bed. “But your choice.”

Simon pulled up his list of downloaded films and made a face. “Are these my only options?”

Snorting, Wille sat down on the chair. “I told you last time there wasn’t much choice.”

“Last time?” Simon said.

“Last time we… watched a film together?” Wille said.

Looking nonplussed, Simon just shrugged and shook his head. “What?”

Wille huffed out a slightly embarrassed laugh. “When, uhm… when you were ill. We… started watching a film together?” His voice rose at the end of his sentence.

“Oh yes! Oh… I’d forgotten. Sorry.” The pink tinge on Simon’s cheeks would have made Wille swoon about twenty minutes ago, but he was too busy trying to hold a casual conversation when it felt like his world was slowly crumbling.

So he just said, “You, uhm. You fell asleep pretty early on.”

“That sounds about right.” Simon laughed. It was such a beautiful sound. “Well… sorry.”

“That’s okay. I didn’t mind.” 

Wille knew that Simon had struggled to express his gratitude for the care he’d received in those two days, but Wille also knew that he himself would find it even harder to communicate just how much he’d loved it. How much he’d loved feeling useful, and needed, and wanted. How much joy he’d got from being around Simon, and being the person Simon could rely on. How much he was secretly pleased they’d had a reason to spend more time together, although he very much wished it had been under better circumstances. 

“In my defence,” Simon said, “I don’t remember most of those two days. Seasickness is really awful. You don’t put that on the brochure do you?”

The tension from earlier was slowly leaving Wille’s body as he watched Simon scroll through his paltry film selection, replaced with a sort of heavy melancholy. “We don’t,” Wille said. “How else would we ever recruit anyone?”

“Well, there are other perks,” Simon said, lifting his head. And he winked at Wille. If Wille hadn’t already been sitting down, he might have had to hold onto something lest his knees give out.

The swoop in Wille’s stomach made him feel a little bit sick. What had happened to all the flirting he’d been doing earlier in the evening? He knew exactly what had happened. He’d realised that this couldn’t go anywhere. And in doing so had realised that he wanted it to. So badly.

Wille didn’t do casual. And he’d never had a relationship with a member of the crew before. And this was exactly why. Well this, and the fact that he’d never met anyone like Simon in his life. He’d never met anyone that he was willing to… what? Willing to get close enough to that he would miss them when they were gone. 

Because that’s what this life was. Watching people leave. That’s why he never got attached. Yet here he was, watching Simon pull faces at his laptop in mock disgust, and shifting over so that Wille could sit next to him, jokingly arranging the frog so it could watch the film with them, completely oblivious to the turmoil going on in Wille’s head.

Wille didn’t watch any of the film. He spent half of it staring into space, wondering what on earth to do with his scarily big feelings that were going to come to nothing; and the other half watching Simon laugh and groan his way through his choice of film. Simon’s eyes reflected the screen, crinkling in mirth, and occasionally flitting to Wille to see if he’d caught the joke.

Towards the end, Simon’s laughter started getting less frequent, and his body started shifting sideways. By the time the credits were rolling, Simon had fallen asleep, head lolling on Wille’s shoulder, hand lightly resting on Wille’s thigh.

Wille wanted to stay here in this moment forever, arm wrapped around the boy that he was swiftly falling for, his breath tickling Wille’s neck. But he knew that he couldn’t if he wanted to protect his heart. And much as he wanted to lie them both down, and curl up around each other, he knew that they couldn’t wake up together.

So he carefully extricated himself from Simon’s embrace, gently laying Simon’s head on the pillow. Taking one last backwards look, Wille quickly grabbed some things and snuck out of the room.

When Felice opened her cabin door, with a face mask half covering her perplexed expression, Wille just shook his head and squeezed inside. 

Chapter Text

WILLE

Waking up to Felice’s slightly tentative ‘Good morning’ did nothing to dull the ache in Wille’s chest. He mumbled a response, keeping his face firmly planted in the pillow. 

Wille could hear her pottering around the small cabin, unwrapping her hair, buttoning up her shirt, applying makeup. After a few minutes, he felt the mattress depress where she’d sat down on it. A hand was placed gently on his head, softly brushing the hair off his forehead.

“Want to talk about it?” she said.

He huffed again, shimmying over to press his face into her skirt instead of the bed, still refusing to lift his head. “Not really,” he mumbled. “I’m just going to stay here forever if that’s okay.”

Wille felt Felice’s laugh reverberate through her body. “Well, you don’t do anything else useful around here. But this cabin is fucking tiny and you’re a gangly monster. I want my bed back.”

Rolling over, he pushed his hair off his face with a sigh. “Fine. You can have your bed back.”

“So you think you’ll be sharing with Simon again tonight?” She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

“Don’t, Felice,” he groaned. “And I’ve never shared a bed with him before. So no ‘again’.”

“What, really?” she said, a disbelieving look on her face.

Covering his face with his hands he groaned and shook his head. “When would I have done that, Felice?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Why didn’t you do it last night?”

With a deep sigh, he flung his arms back down by his sides, hitting the mattress with a thud. “He’s not staying after this contract.”

There was a short pause. “Ah,” Felice said.

Wille craned his neck to look at her, frowning. “What was that? What does that mean?”

Her laugh was a little incredulous. “Wille,” she said. “You’re your own worst nightmare sometimes, you know that?”

“Yes, I know that,” he said, pushing himself up to sitting. “But you can’t tell me you think it’s a good idea to get involved when he’s going to be gone in a couple of months?”

She shrugged. “Why not?” she said. “Why can’t you have a bit of fun?”

Wille’s heart clenched alarmingly in his chest. Felice's face dropped at what she must have seen in Wille’s expression. “Oh, Wille,” she said. “You want to be able to fall in love with him.”

Heat rushed to Wille’s cheeks and he spluttered before Felice finally took pity on him and dragged him into a hug.

She sighed against him. “I know you like him,” she said. “And it’s a shame he’s going, it really is. But you shouldn’t deny yourself some joy now.”

“But what if we hurt each other,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “I don’t want to— I don’t know how to do casual. I don’t know how to not…”

When he couldn’t formulate the words, she squeezed him tighter. 

“Have you talked to him about it?”

Wille shook his head, relinquishing his hold on Felice. “No,” he said. “Last night, we didn’t plan on— I just snuck out once he’d fallen asleep.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Did you—”

“No!” The look on Felice’s face made him hurry to explain. “No. We just watched a film. He was going to go back to his room afterwards. I think. Urgh.” He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “He’d just told me he wasn’t staying after his contract was up, and I was trying to get away to sort my head out, but he suggested watching a film and I— I don’t know what he was expecting. Do you think— Maybe he was expecting—”

“Wille,” she said, stopping him with a hand on his arm. “It doesn’t matter what I think. You need to talk to him.”

“But—”

“Talk. To. Him.” She punctuated each word with a gentle prod to his bare chest. 

A reluctant smile spread on Wille’s face. She was right, of course, Felice usually was. 

Whilst she busied herself with the last of her morning routine, Wille pulled on his clothes, pressed a kiss to her cheek, and slipped out into the corridor.

The closer he got to his cabin, the harder his heart beat in his chest. Pausing outside the door, Wille took a steadying breath and knocked quietly.

“Simon?” he said, forehead pressed to the door.

There was no answer. He tried again a little louder.

“Simon? Is it okay if I come in?”

Once the silence had stretched for long enough, Wille tentatively pulled the door open, peeking inside. The cabin was empty. The covers had been hastily thrown over the bed but there was no other sign that Simon had been there.

The disappointment and relief hit Wille simultaneously. Pulling the door shut, he groaned softly to himself. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

Choosing to take a long, miserable shower, Wille emerged from his room half an hour later with wet hair and a morose weight in his chest. 

He shuffled the length of the corridor and up the stairs to the restaurant for breakfast, hoping to grab a pastry and a coffee and slump back to his office to wallow in peace.

Apparently he had no such luck. On pushing open the doors to the restaurant, he came face to face with a very startled Simon, who had stumbled back to avoid being hit in the nose.

“Oh!” Wille said. “Sorry. Hi.”

Simon’s expression quickly shifted from surprise to concern then to downright anger.

“Hi,” he replied, tone clipped.

“I, uhm, didn’t think you’d be here. You usually skip breakfast.”

“Yeah,” Simon said, “well I woke up in a different bed - all alone - so I thought maybe I should make myself scarce. And since I was up, why not have breakfast.”

Wille’s heart sank. He’d not really spared much thought for how confused Simon might be upon waking. “Shit, Simon, I’m so sor—”

Wille stopped speaking as Simon held up his hand, his eyes closed.

“Can we not, please, Wille,” he said, with a sigh.

When Simon opened his eyes again, Wille’s heart tugged at how sad they looked. 

“Just—” Simon shrugged his shoulders. Wille noticed that he had a clementine in his hand. “I don’t— I don’t get it. Did I do something wrong?”

“No! No. It wasn’t—” Wille groaned in exasperation, tipping his head back. When he straightened up again, Simon was watching him with a guarded expression on his face. “Do you maybe want to… go for a walk?”

“A walk?” Scepticism oozed from the question.

Nodding, Wille added. “And maybe… talk about… this?”

Pressing his mouth into a thin line, Simon’s eyes roamed Wille’s face. Wille tried his best to keep his expression open, to hopefully convince Simon he had nothing to worry about. But maybe he did. And maybe that was the problem. But eventually, Simon gave a curt nod.

Relief flooded Wille’s chest and he sent Simon a small smile that wasn’t returned. “Just let me grab something to eat.”

A couple of minutes later, Wille was holding open the door with his elbows, trying not to spill his coffee. They weren’t technically supposed to walk around with hot drinks whilst in uniform, but Wille wasn’t sure he wanted to experience this conversation without caffeine. Or without something to do with his hands. 

They headed out on deck and Wille was grateful for the distraction of the sea air and the screeching seagulls. The sounds of the bustling port below were just able to be made out. Simon started peeling his clementine, refusing to meet Wille’s eye. Wille dipped his croissant in his coffee and took a bite to buy himself some time. 

By the time he’d finished the croissant, he knew that he really needed to say something. Simon was already looking like he regretted agreeing to come out here if the way he was frowning as he chewed was anything to go by.

So Wille sighed. “I’m really sorry I wasn’t there this morning.”

Simon just hummed but didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry I left without telling you. I just—”

“Seriously, Wille?”

Wille pressed his mouth shut at the incredulous look on Simon’s face. 

“If you hadn’t wanted me to come to your room last night, you should have just said.”

“But I did want you to.” Wille knew that wasn’t quite the whole truth; but if you took away all of Wille’s complicated feelings, he wanted nothing more than to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with Simon. And that was the whole problem.

Simon scoffed. “Well, you have a funny way of showing it. You could have just woken me up and told me to leave.”

“But I didn’t want you to leave.”

The laugh Simon let out was incredulous. “Do you know how embarrassing it is to wake up in someone else’s bed and realise that they’d chosen to sleep anywhere else but in their own bed with you? I thought— I wish you’d just said that I was asking too much instead of letting me—”

“But you’re not!” Wille exclaimed. “It’s not too much. You’re not too much. You’re perfect and…”

Groaning, he titled his head back and tried to gather his thoughts together. Simon dropped his peelings in a bin at the side of the deck and crossed his arms, waiting for Wille to say something.

“You’re… You’re amazing,” Wille said.

Simon did not look impressed. In fact, his frown seemed to have grown deeper.

“It’s just… you’re leaving in a few weeks and I couldn’t…” Shaking his head, Wille looked down at his feet. His coffee was getting cold, but he suddenly didn’t want it any more.

When Wille looked back up, Simon’s face had softened a little. Wille brought the mug to his lips for something to do and took a sip of the tepid drink before putting it down on the shelf beside them. 

“Wille…” Simon started, his voice gentle. “You didn’t— This is because you found out I might be leaving?”

Hands now empty, Wille brought his thumb to his mouth and started chewing at the skin there. He shrugged. “I just— I didn’t want to—” Shaking his head he fell silent again.

“Didn’t want to what?” Simon’s voice was soft and Wille felt like crying.

Throwing caution to the wind he decided to come clean. “I didn’t want to start something with you when I know you’ll be gone soon.”

Simon’s face did something complicated that Wille couldn’t quite parse. “What is this to you?” Simon asked, gesturing between them.

Wille wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. “Erm…” The sound didn’t quite buy him the time he needed. Simon was looking at him expectantly as Wille tried to untangle the thoughts in his head.

“I don’t know,” he settled for in the end.

“You don’t know? Wille, you took me out on a date, you kissed me. And you don’t know what this is?”

Wille held his arms out to the side. “I don’t really know what to say, Simon. I really like you. Like really like you. And the idea of you being gone is just… I reacted badly. I’m sorry. But I just… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But, Wille. Leaving me alone last night hurt me. I really like you too. But if you can’t cope with the fact that I might not be staying after the end of my contract, then maybe it’s a better idea if we just… stop.”

Wille’s heart plummeted. He knew that that had been a potential result of this conversation, but hearing it said so plainly made his stomach twist uncomfortably. So he just nodded. 

Shaking his head, Simon heaved a sigh. “I need to go,” he said.

“You have a shift?”

“No, Wille. But I just need to be somewhere else right now.”

As he turned to leave, Wille darted out his hand to grab his sleeve. “Wait!” Panic was starting to fill his chest at the idea of Simon walking away and out of his life.

When Simon turned back to face him, he had a resigned look on his face.

Dropping Simon’s arm, Wille lifted his shoulders. “Just… Do we have to… pretend like nothing happened? I don’t— I don’t want to not see you.”

Simon sighed. “I don’t know, Wille. Can we just… see how it goes? I can’t be around you right now.”

Wille nodded. Simon sent him a final tight smile and walked away.

That week might have been the longest in Wille’s life. Felice was at the end of her tether, and ultimately, Wille found himself just holing up in either his office or his cabin so as not to annoy everyone else as much as he was annoying himself.

The ship had two sea days, and the rest in ports, so Wille did his best to hide himself amongst the bustle when he did have to venture out. 

The first two days he managed to avoid Simon almost entirely, even going as far as to turn around and run back down a corridor when he saw Simon entering it with his head bent over a stack of sheet music.

The third day they exchanged an awkward greeting at breakfast and Wille’s berated himself about it for the rest of the day. On the sixth day, Felice insisted that Wille go up to The Apex to talk to August about something. He whinged about it for ten minutes straight until she lost her temper and told him that some people had actual jobs to do, not just mope around over a breakup. 

Taking a deep breath before pushing open the doors to the bar, Wille’s eyes were drawn to Simon straight away. He was sound checking on the stage to the far left. The woman who seemed to have taken a liking to Simon was in her usual booth, head propped on her chin, playing with her bracelets as she watched him fiddle with the microphone.

Not looking where he was going, gaze too focused on how good Simon looked whilst he was concentrating, Wille banged into the bar and knocked over a tub of ice and the remnants of some sort of sticky cocktail.

“Smooth, Wille,” August said, clapping him on the shoulder and bending down to pick up the ice.

Face burning as he placed the glass on the bar, Wille crouched down to help. Simon had already looked over to see what the commotion was, but had since gone back to his sound check.

“Sorry,” Wille muttered, trying to dab at the sticky patch on his shirt with his hands. “I wasn’t concentrating.”

“Head in the clouds?” August said, hitting his shoulder again.

Wille hated it. He hated how patronising August was. But even worse, he hated how he had to suck it up and take it because August had power here, and despite Wille’s position, August could make Wille’s life hell if he wanted to. Not least with his mother, who adored August. 

So Wille just hummed and put the last pieces of ice into the bucket. August lifted it and threw it all into the sink. 

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” August said, wiping his hands.

“Felice sent me to double check the rotas,” Wille said, waving the folder Felice had given him. “She needs extra staff for the big show in a couple of weeks.”

“Tell her to come and ask for them herself.” August wiggled his eyebrows at Wille, whose stomach turned. He knew Felice found August’s persistent pursuit of her disgusting, and that she did most things she could to avoid him.

“She asked me to ask,” Wille said, opening the folder and ignoring August’s grumble.

They spent a while poring over the papers, August reluctant to give up any of his staff, especially if it meant him having to put in a shift of actual bar work himself. After arguing over the same point four times and getting nowhere, Wille eventually snapped, “For fuck’s sake, August. I’ll do it then.”

August blinked at him. “Do what?”

“The fucking bar shift. I can’t do what Felice needs in the theatre, send Valter, and I’ll cover his shift. Then you can do… whatever it is you do that’s so important.”

“I’ll have you know that—”

“Whatever,” Wille said, snapping his folder shut. “I’ll see you then.”

Wille stormed out of the bar, vaguely aware of Simon watching him as he went. Everything felt tight and Wille wanted to yell into the sky, but professionalism dictated that he smile politely at the guests as he made his way back down to Felice’s office. She wasn’t there, as expected, so he left the folder and a note on her desk telling her what they’d agreed on and left.

He headed straight to the laundry room to try to find himself a clean uniform and remove the awful sticky one he was wearing. The noise in the room sometimes helped ease Wille’s anxiety; today, it just set his teeth on edge. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, he pulled it over his head, trying not to get the sticky residue on him. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, as the buttons got stuck on his hair. 

Face covered with shirt, he almost didn’t hear the, “Shit! Sorry!” from the door. 

Hastily untangling himself, Wille pulled the shirt off to find Simon staring at him wide-eyed. 

“Er… hi,” Wille said, holding the bunched up shirt in his hand. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uhm, I came to find you,” Simon said. Wille saw him visibly swallow. “I saw you come out of Felice’s office but couldn’t catch up in time.”

“Oh,” Wille said. “What, uh, what did you need me for?”

Simon blinked several times. “I just wanted to, uhm, talk to you.”

“What about?”

Had the laundry room always been this hot? Or was the look in Simon’s eyes making Wille blush so hard he was heating up the very air around him. 

“I, uhm, I saw you in the bar. And I just wanted to say that you, uhm” - Simon shook his head as if trying to dislodge something - “you don’t have to avoid me, you know. I, uhm, I don’t mind seeing you around here. I know we work in the same place. It doesn’t have to be weird.”

This was certainly weird. Wille had never been so conscious of being half dressed in his life. He could tell that Simon was struggling to keep his eyes on Wille’s face, and that knowledge was doing something to Wille.

“Okay,” Wille said. “Doesn’t have to be weird.” 

It was like something snapped inside him. Days of being so wound up finally causing something to burst free. The noise of the room quieted. Boldly, Wille took a small step towards Simon.

Simon watched him with wide eyes. “I mean, we can talk to each other,” Simon said, “and stuff.”

“Stuff?”

Another step.

“Mhm,” Simon hummed, taking his own step towards Wille.

With one final stride, Wille was right in front of Simon, his naked chest pressed against Simon’s clothed one. Wille watched as Simon closed his eyes, breathing in deeply through his nose, before his eyelashes fluttered open again.

“Does this count as stuff?” Wille whispered, bringing his hand up to cradle the side of Simon’s neck.

Simon leant into the touch. “This wasn’t” - he swallowed audibly - “exactly what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind?” Wille said. Their breath was mingling in between them and it was making it exceptionally difficult for Wille to think straight.

Simon reached up to nudge his nose against Wille’s, eyes closed once more. “Hmm?” he said.

Their lips were almost touching, and as Wille’s spoke, they brushed together. “I said, what did you have in mind?”

Wille thought he heard Simon say something that sounded like ‘Fuck’, before pushing himself forwards and crashing their mouths together.

Responding with enthusiasm, Wille used the hand that had been on Simon’s neck to cradle the back of his head, tilting it back to give his tongue better access. His other arm snaked around Simon’s waist and drew them together so there wasn’t a millimetre of space between them. 

They both groaned as they melted into each other and Simon started walking Wille determinedly back towards the row of washing machines. Whilst Wille didn’t have relationships with staff members, he wasn’t completely inexperienced. But this. This. This was something completely new.

Wille had never felt so desired before. The noises Simon was making as he seemed to be trying to fuse his body into Wille’s made his skin tingle and heat pool low in his belly. Wille had had a couple of girlfriends from in his parent’s circle. A boyfriend once too. And he’d had some casual hookups along the way. But they’d always seemed to want Wille as a stepping stone to something else. A job, connections, money… a different person.

But Simon. It seemed as though Simon couldn’t see past anything except Wille. And it was intoxicating. 

Simon’s hands were in his hair one moment, tracing down his chest the next, reaching round and squeezing his arse bringing them impossibly closer after that. Taking Simon’s lead, Wille snuck his hands under Simon’s shirt, untucking it from his trousers at the back so that he could skim his hands up the planes of Simon’s back.

It was all too much. And also nowhere near enough. Wille needed to feel Simon’s skin on his own, he needed to—

“Wait.” Simon’s hands grabbed Wille’s wrists where he had started undoing the buttons of Simon’s shirt.

Delirious, Wille blinked at him.

Simon let go of his wrists and placed his hands on Wille’s cheeks, pulling him in for another kiss. This one softer, lingering on Wille’s lips.

“I have to go back to work,” Simon whispered into Wille’s mouth.

“No,” Wille muttered, whiny, needy. “Stay.” He reached for Simon’s hip to try and keep them pressed together. 

He didn’t want to admit it, but Wille was terrified of what would happen if Simon left this room. This had been a fluke, a culmination of coincidences that meant both Wille and Simon had gone back on their promises to themselves. 

“I can’t,” Simon said, arms locked behind Wille’s neck now, noses brushing as he shook his head. “I only had twenty minutes and I spent most of them looking for you.”

Sighing, Wille leant back out of Simon’s space. It wasn’t helpful. Simon was a picture of absolute debauchery. His lips were red and glistening with Wille’s saliva, his cheeks were flushed and his hair mussed up. It took all Wille’s strength to not grab him again.

But the intensity in Simon’s eyes made him pause. Simon’s hands trailed down Wille’s chest before falling to his sides. ”I should go,” he said, sounding like the words were being wrenched from him.

Nodding, Wille reached forward and took one of his hands. “This was nice,” he whispered.

Simon grinned, all seriousness from the last moment dissolving as he giggled. “Yeah,” he said, “it was alright.”

“I don’t want to keep avoiding you,” Wille said.

“I never said you had to avoid me.”

“I did,” Wille said. “I knew if I was around you I wouldn’t be able to resist and I didn’t want—”

Simon stepped up to him again. “And then it was me that couldn’t resist you.” He pressed his smile to Wille’s lips, who kissed it giddily.

“I think it was a joint effort,” Wille said.

“So what now?” Simon swayed back again.

Shrugging, Wille stroked the back of Simon’s knuckles with his thumb. “I don’t know,” he said. “But… I don’t want to stop seeing you.”

Simon’s reply was quick. “Me neither.”

Wille’s heart did a sort of flip in his chest at the idea that Simon was just as keen on this as Wille was. He tried to tamp down his excitement by reminding himself that Simon was leaving in a few short weeks. Exactly the reason Wille had considered putting a stop to this before.

“Maybe we try to… keep it casual.” Wille could feel the slight shake in his voice as he said it.

“Casual?” Simon didn’t look convinced.

“Yeah,” Wille said. “I know you’re not staying. But I don’t want that to mean we can’t… enjoy ourselves now.”

“Enjoy ourselves?” Simon said, grinning.

Wille let out a short laugh. “Yeah. Just… maybe we need to… take it easy a bit.”

Simon trailed a finger up Wille’s bare arm sending a shiver down it. “Take it easy?”

“Mhm.” Wille nodded as he closed his eyes. “I don’t want to… complicate things.”

Simon’s finger tip grazed down the front of Wille’s chest, his nail scratching at his nipple on the way down. “And this… complicates things?”

Wille grabbed Simon’s hand as it reached the waistband of his trousers. “Very much so,” he said, trying to give Simon a pointed glare.

Sighing, Simon retrieved his hand. “You’re right,” he said. Then added, “Okay. Boundaries. I can live with that.”

They gazed at each other for a few moments. Wille leant forward but Simon put a hand up to stop his lips. Smiling, he said, “I have to go back to work now. And that is not going to help.”

Wille groaned but leant back. “Fine,” he said. “Go and be responsible.”

Laughing, Simon tucked his shirt back in and stepped out of Wille’s space. Wille mourned the loss instantly. Or at least until Simon rushed back and gave him a quick, and very dirty, kiss before disappearing with a cheery wave.

An incredulous laugh slipped out of Wille’s mouth after the door had shut behind Simon. 

Oh no, he thought. Boundaries or not, this was about to get a whole lot more complicated.

Complicated actually ended up not being a word Wille would use to describe what he and Simon had going on for the next couple of weeks. It felt exceptionally uncomplicated to slip in the back of the bar to watch Simon sing, then sneak backstage to kiss him senseless, then head back to work trying to look as unruffled as possible. 

It also didn’t feel complicated to bump into him at breakfast, hooking ankles under the table, exchanging flirty smiles over eggs or pastries, and then dashing to Wille’s office for a makeout session before Wille had to go into some boring meeting in which he did absolutely nothing except daydream about Simon.

No, it wasn’t complicated, in fact it was very simple. Wille liked Simon. He really, really liked him. And for once in his life, he was letting himself act on that desire. There was only one niggling, potentially complicated thought in the back of Wille’s head. 

This wasn’t enough.

Wille wanted more. Wille wanted to walk hand in hand with Simon through the ship, he wanted to taste every inch of Simon’s skin until he was crying out Wille’s name, he wanted to wake up next to him every morning and see what he looked like, all sleep-rumpled and content. 

But there was an invisible line that Wille didn’t want to cross; and he could tell that Simon didn’t want to cross it either. They’d agreed on casual, and taking it easy, and Wille had promised himself not to get too attached. But attached he was; and Simon’s wandering hands, that always stopped just at the most frustrating moment, were not helping matters.

Wille had taken more cold showers in the last two weeks than in his whole time on the ship combined. He’d also taken several longer, more luxurious ones, conjuring up images of Simon in his mind, leaving his cabin slightly wobbly-kneed, a dopey grin on his face. 

The day of Felice’s big show rolled around, and Wille realised with some embarrassment that he had absolutely no idea what it was, wrapped up as he’d been in whatever he and Simon had going on. But he did remember that he’d promised to cover Valter’s bar shift. 

So, just after lunch, Wille grabbed an apron from the laundry room and headed up to The Apex to report to August. Wille hadn’t seen Simon yet today, so he couldn’t really be blamed for looking towards the door every two minutes, waiting for him to appear.

“What are you looking for?” August said, polishing some glasses that Wille knew full well had already been polished.

“Nothing,” he replied quickly. 

August smirked. “Yeah, okay. You’re not very smooth, did I ever tell you that?”

“Constantly. Thanks, August.” Wille elbowed his way past August to lift a crate of glasses off the floor.

“Are you fucking Felice?”

Whipping round, Wille placed the crate on the bar with a little more force than was wise. “Excuse me?”

“I said are you fucking Felice? You’ve been weird for the last few weeks, and you keep looking at the door expecting someone to come in. And I know someone saw you come out of her cabin the other morning. Like, it’s fine if you are, good on you.”

“I’m not sleeping with Felice, August. Not that whoever I or she sleeps with is any of your business.”

“It is if it’s affecting your work.” August placed the glass down and took a menacing step towards Wille. “Wouldn’t want to be breaking any rules, right?”

“I’m not sleeping with Felice, August.” Wille tried to insert as much confidence as he could into his voice, but August still had a smug smile on his face, as if he’d caught Wille red-handed.

“Good.”

Temper rising, Wille glared at August. “What does that mean? ‘Good’?”

With an infuriating grin, August just shrugged. “Nothing.”

At that moment, the door swung open behind August, revealing Simon hurrying in. He shot a dazzling smile at Wille, who couldn’t help but return it.

August whipped around to see what Wille was smiling at, and when he turned back, he had a cunning glint in his eyes.

“Ah,” he said.

“What?” Wille said, heart rate picking up.

August shrugged, but he couldn’t have looked less casual. “Nothing,” he said again. “Don’t forget the ice.”

And with that, he left Wille alone in the bar, wondering what had just happened, and with the sinking feeling in his stomach that it was nothing good. 

SIMON

Having Wille in the bar was distracting. Simon was in charge of replacing all the syrups in the soft drinks, which meant he spent most of his time in the back room whilst Wille was restocking the fridges at the front. Being in separate rooms was both a blessing and a curse.

Simon wasn’t sure he’d have been able to keep his hands to himself if he was sharing that small space with Wille for the whole shift. In fact, he’d proved that he couldn’t on the few occasions he’d had to go round the front to make sure the new syrups were coming through. 

A hand pressed against a lower back, fingers danced up an arm; Simon watched as goosebumps erupted on Wille’s skin in the wake of his feather-light touch.

Wille was no better. As if his intense gaze wasn’t enough to make Simon’s blood run warm, his big hands on Simon’s hips to move him to the side would definitely have done it. And then one time, as Wille squeezed behind him to get to the sink, Simon heard him fucking sniff his neck. 

Scurrying away so that he didn’t do something that would get him fired, Simon tried to stay in the back room until sound check. Patting himself on the back for his excellent idea, Simon didn’t quite factor in how having Wille watch his every move from across the room with his hungry eyes as he strummed his guitar would make all the hairs on his arms stand on end.

He was concentrating so hard on keeping his heart rate down that he didn’t even notice Annemarie sidle up to him as he was adjusting his microphone stand. She’d taken to doing this most days, and it was starting to grate. Part of his job was to keep the guests happy, and he knew that, but he felt like her interactions with him were bordering on inappropriate.

She’d never crossed any physical lines again like she had that day up on deck, but her presence still made Simon uncomfortable. Luckily today he managed to appease her with a smile and a couple of polite words before she slipped back into her booth with her cocktail to watch his set.

By the time he stepped up to the microphone, Simon wasn’t sure what heady mix of chemicals were running through his veins, but he felt almost like he was floating. He lifted his gaze to find Wille watching him from behind the bar, bottle hovering over a glass waiting to be poured.

At the first strum of his guitar, he saw Wille’s hand slip and clear liquid splashed down the side of the glass. Grinning, Simon watched as Wille broke eye contact, muttering what he assumed was an apology to the guest. Deciding to put him out of his misery, Simon introduced himself and began to sing.

“Strange light revolves around you
You float across the room
Your touch is made of something
Heaven can't hold a candle to
You're made of somethin' new
Let's not get complicated
Let's just enjoy the view”

The promise to himself to not look at Wille during his set was broken fifty times over. Every time Simon opened his eyes, or looked up from his guitar, his eyes found Wille’s. And more often than not, Wille was already looking back at him. How he was getting any bar work done was beyond Simon.

“God only knows where this could go
And even if our love starts to grow outta control”

“And you and me go up in flames
Heaven won't be the same”

Something warm simmered under Simon’s skin that Wille seemed incapable of doing anything other than staring at him.

Simon was absolutely done for.

“I'm havin' revelations
You dance across the floor
Beyond infatuation
How I obsessively adore you
That's what I do
I believe, I believe, I could die in your kiss
No, it doesn't get, doesn't get better than this”

When he’d started whatever this was with Wille, he’d genuinely thought that they could have a bit of fun, enjoy each other’s company for a few weeks, then go their separate ways. Now he wasn’t so sure. Because he liked Wille. Really, really liked him. More than he’d liked anyone in a long time. He was sweet and funny and made Simon’s stomach swoop in the best way. And the rules they’d laid down for themselves meant that the whole thing just felt a little bit forbidden as well. 

“And you and me go up in flames
Heaven won't be the same”

The last notes of the song rang out and Simon’s heart was beating just a little bit harder than it usually was. 

Packing up after his set, Simon headed over to the bar, where Wille was finishing up with last orders. He sent Simon a small smile and nodded his head to indicate that Simon should wait for him at the side.

A nervous fluttering was tickling Simon’s stomach. What he and Wille had been doing the past couple of weeks had definitely been teetering on the edge of not-casual-any-more; but this, waiting for Wille at the end of his shift, walking back to their cabins together, that was definitely something new. Because could Simon satisfy himself with a quick kiss and a goodnight? Probably not.

Twenty minutes later, after the last guests had filtered out, Wille lifted the bar and headed over to Simon with a wide grin.

“Hey,” he said. “Your set was amazing.”

“You’re biassed,” Simon grinned. 

“Oh yeah?” Wille said, leaning forward, unable to wipe the smile off his face. “What makes me biassed?”

Simon met him in the middle in a kiss that ended up being more teeth than anything else, but perfect all the same. 

Slipping his hand into Simon’s, Wille gave him a gentle tug. “Come on,” he said, eyes sparkling.

Giddy anticipation buzzed through Simon’s veins as he let himself be pulled along. They’d just got to the door when a voice called out, “Wait!”

Turning, Simon saw August jogging over to them, a sheet of paper in his hands.

Wille had a frown on his face. “What is it, August?”

The annoyance was clear in Wille’s tone.

“Oh, nothing,” said August, with a smug look on his face that spelt trouble. “I just thought you might want to look at this.”

He pushed the paper towards Wille, who dropped Simon’s hand to take it. A frown formed on Wille’s forehead as he read it.

“What is this?” he snapped.

“The contract that Simon signed when he started working. The contract that says that close personal relationships between crew and their superiors is forbidden.”

Simon’s stomach dropped. He knew that he’d signed something about interpersonal relationships on that first day, but hadn’t read all the small print. And he assumed Wille would have stopped them if they were breaking any rules. 

“I’m not Simon’s superior,” Wille said, glaring at August. “That doesn’t apply to us.”

August snorted. “Wille, you’re everyone’s superior. Do you really think the board will care that you’re not his direct line manager? He’s still getting preferential treatment, it’s still a fireable offence.”

Shit.

“Fuck you, August,” Wille seethed. “We’ve not done anything wrong.”

“But you have,” August said, now with obvious glee. “Since you’re family” - Wille scoffed loudly - “I’m prepared to let this one time slide. But it needs to not happen again. Otherwise I’m reporting him. And he’ll lose his job.”

“What the fuck?” Simon said, voice rising. “That’s not fair.”

August turned his sneer to Simon. “Just because you’ve somehow got your claws in him” - he jerked his head to Wille - “doesn’t mean you get to break the rules that everyone else has to follow.”

“Fuck you, August,” Wille repeated. “You can’t do that.”

“Oh, but I can,” August said, placing a hand on Wille’s shoulder that Wille immediately pushed off. “So, I suggest you get over your little infatuation and stay away from each other.”

With a face like thunder, Wille shoved the contract back into August’s chest, grabbed Simon’s hand, and tugged him towards the door.

Simon followed blindly for a few corridors before pulling Wille to a halt. “Stop,” he said.

“What?” Wille asked, turning to him, brows still furrowed and brown eyes swirling with anger.

“Wille…”

The fight seemed to go out of Wille when he looked at Simon. “I’m sorry,” he said. “August is just a dick. He doesn’t—”

“Wille…”

“—care about anything. He’s just trying to fuck with us. We can still—”

“Wille.” 

At the slightly more forceful tone, Wille stopped his rambling. “What?” he said.

“We can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

Simon took a deep breath. “We can’t keep doing this.”

Panic filled Wille’s eyes. “What do you mean?” he said. “Of course we can. We can just—”

“Just what?” Simon slid his hand out of Wille’s grasp. “Just sneak around and hope we don’t get caught? Just risk me getting fired when I’ve barely been here a month? Just because you don’t care about this job, doesn’t mean I can afford to get fired.”

“That wasn’t what I meant, Simon.”

Simon crossed his arms, if only to stop him reaching out for Wille again. “Then what did you mean?”

“That we can… we can… urgh.” He tipped his head forward into his hands, shaking it. After a moment, Wille ran his hands through his hair and looked back up. The pain in his eyes was almost too much for Simon to bear. But he reminded himself of what he had to lose and set his mouth in what he hoped was a stern line. “I don’t want to lose you,” Wille whispered.

The words caused a twist in Simon’s chest that he tried to ignore.. “I know,” he said. “But… It's been good. We knew it couldn’t ever last, right? So… maybe this is for the best.”

Simon didn’t believe his own words, so he wasn’t sure how he was expecting to convince Wille. 

Wille looked like he was about to say something, before deciding against it and shaking his head again. 

Drumming up all his courage, Simon reached forward and squeezed Wille’s shoulder. He leant in to place a soft kiss on Wille’s cheek. “See you around?”

And before he could second-guess his decision, he slipped past Wille, down the stairs and along the corridor to his cabin, slamming the door firmly behind him, where he could pretend he didn’t have the devastated look that had been on Wille’s face seared onto the inside of his brain.

Avoiding Wille was actually easier than Simon thought it would be. Over the previous weeks, he had been so used to seeing Wille round every corner that his absence now was conspicuous. Simon wondered how many responsibilities Wille had shirked just to see him. And that made him realise that maybe putting a stop to whatever they’d been doing had been a good idea. 

So Simon kept his head down, worked his shifts, ignored August and then went back to his room to mope. He was homesick, and - although he didn’t really want to admit it to himself - lovesick, and being cooped up on a ship was starting to become slightly hellish.

After a week, Simon decided he couldn’t take it any more. The next port day coincided with his day off, and for the first time, Simon decided to disembark. 

They were docked in the Bay of Palma in Mallorca, and Simon was at least glad that he could spend some time speaking his mother tongue. The sun was beating down, and he spent the day wandering through the old town, stopping at cafés for cold drinks and ice cream, and watching the world go by. 

When it came time to return to The Crown, Simon could feel the sinking in his stomach, and for the first time, hoped the rest of his contract went by quickly. If he decided not to renew, he had just under three weeks left, and if this week had been anything to go by, it would feel like forever.

As he got back to his corridor, he noticed a commotion. Multiple staff members were milling about, considerably more than he’d ever seen at the same time before. He made his way to his cabin, only to find Maddie standing outside the door looking harassed.

“Don’t go in there, Simon!” she shouted.

“What?” he said, nonplussed. “Why?”

“All the toilets are backed up. Something to do with a blockage further down the way. Someone” - she emphasised the word - “has been putting face wipes down them.”

Then in a stage whisper she added, “My bet’s on Henry.”

“Hey!” Henry shouted from further down the corridor. 

Maddie snorted and pretended to be very interested in something on the wall.

“So what happens now?” said Simon.

Shrugging, Maddie said, “They’ve just told us to wait for now. Some people are already deciding to bunk together. I think they were talking about putting any people who can’t squeeze in together in some of the activity rooms upstairs. I’m going in with Felice, she’s got a massive room and no fucking way am I sharing with Henry.”

“What have I ever done to you?” Henry shouted again, looking hurt.

“No offence,” Maddie called to him.

“Offence taken!” he grumbled back.

“Shit,” Simon groaned. “I really don’t need this today.”

“Why? What’s wrong with you?”

Simon shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “I just really wanted to be able to hide away in my room.”

“Because you’re avoiding Wille?”

When Simon turned to her, it didn’t look like she was teasing him. In fact, she looked more sincere than he’d ever seen her before, which was probably what made him sigh and say, “Yes.”

Reaching out, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It sucks to break up with someone on a ship,” she said. “We’re locked in this tin can together and it’s impossible to escape. Sorry it’s shit.”

“Thanks, Maddie.” Finding himself oddly moved, he accepted her hug, if only to subtly wipe the tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Do you want me to do you a reading?”

“A reading?”

She leant back. “A tarot reading? It might help you work out what to do about it.”

Smiling, he sniffed and shook his head. “No thanks,” he said. “I think I just need to suck it up and get over him. It was never going to last anyway.”

She laughed, before quickly stifling it at whatever she could see on his face.

“What?” he said, defensive.

“Oh, Simon,” she said. “That guy is so gone for you, I’m surprised he hasn’t proposed to you and moved into this cabin already.”

“It wasn’t— We never— It wasn’t like that,” Simon spluttered, feeling his face heat up.

The look on Maddie’s face was almost pitying and it made Simon squirm. 

He was saved the embarrassment of having to prove his point by the man himself appearing around the corner, hot on the heels of August. It looked like Wille had run his hands through his hair several times, and was currently glowering at August’s back.

“Alright everyone!” August called. “Listen up! I know this isn’t ideal, but we’re working to get it fixed as soon as possible. Luckily we’re in port, so maintenance are trying to get the parts now and will hopefully be able to fix it within the next two days.” Loud groans filled the corridor. “I know!” he shouted over the hubbub. “I know. But it is what it is. We’re just arranging accommodations for anyone who needs it. Head over here if you’re affected and we’ll find somewhere to put you.”

Maddie gave Simon a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before nudging him towards August. Trying to avoid Wille’s eye, Simon queued up behind Henry to put his name down. 

Afterwards, Simon was painfully aware of Wille hovering at the edge of the crowd. Eventually, Simon sighed. “What do you want, Wille?”

Wille blushed and brought his hand up to the back of his neck. “I just… I thought maybe… since you’ve done it before. I thought you could sleep in my bed.”

Simon was annoyed to find heat rising to his own cheeks. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” he said.

“I can go in with Felice again,” Wille hastened to add. “We don’t have to—”

“You can’t,” Simon said. “Maddie’s going in with Felice.”

“Oh.” Wille looked genuinely disappointed. “Oh right. Okay. Well, uhm, nevermind then.”

Simon pursed his lips and waited. Wille bounced on his feet for a few more seconds before taking the hint and slinking off around the corner. 

Letting out the breath he’d been holding, Simon tipped his head back against the wall, praying that his day wouldn’t get any more disastrous.

Henry snored. So did Valter. And so did about three other people in this room. They had all been shoved on makeshift beds on the floor of one of the big activity rooms. Simon couldn’t sleep. He had no idea what time it was, but it felt like he’d been lying here trying to drift off for hours.

Rolling over again, he tried to punch his pillow into something more comfortable. Just as he thought he might finally be able to drift off, something sharp dug into his back.

“Ouch!” he hissed.

Henry didn’t wake up, just dug his knee more firmly into Simon’s spine.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Simon hauled himself to his feet and looked around the room for another space. It felt like there were sleeping bodies everywhere. He delicately picked his way across the room, being careful not to step on anyone. Once at the very edge, he turned around and let out a defeated sigh.

There was no way he was getting any sleep in here. He weighed up his options. He couldn’t go back to his cabin, they’d been forbidden from entering because the management couldn’t be held accountable for any contaminants they might come into contact with. Simon didn’t really want to find out what the contaminants might be. He could go to the other room they’d lumped the rest of the staff in, but if memory served, he’d actually been in the room with the fewest people, so that was a no go.

He could go to Felice’s room and beg for a bed swap, sending her in with Wille. That seemed like the most appealing option. But as Simon headed back down to staff quarters, he realised he didn’t want to be responsible for all four of them losing sleep. 

Also, somewhere deep down, he knew he was probably seeking the sort of comfort he could only get from someone he knew. Someone he cared about. Someone like Wille.

Sighing in frustration at himself, Simon stomped down the corridor to Wille’s cabin. He took a deep breath through his nose before knocking softly on the door.

It only took a few seconds for Wille to open it, sleep-rumpled and confused.

“Simon?” he said.

“I can’t sleep,” Simon said. “I wondered if I could… stay here?”

Wille blinked at him several times before shaking himself out of it. “Of course,” he said. “Yeah. Sure. Come in.”

He moved to the side to let Simon pass, closing the door behind them. The room smelled of sleep and Wille, and Simon could already feel some of the frustration from the evening leaving his body.

They stood facing each other on opposite sides of the bed for an awkwardly long time.

“Do you want me to go somewhere else?” Wille asked, eventually.

“No,” Simon said. “No, it’s fine. I think… I think I’m okay with you being here.”

Wille nodded and lifted the covers, shimmying himself back under them. Simon followed suit and slipped in beside him.

Wille’s bed was considerably bigger than Simon’s, but it was still a bed in a cabin on a cruise ship. As they lay side by side, their arms still touched. Unless he wanted to fall out of bed, Simon couldn’t move much further over.

He felt Wille shift and roll on his side, facing towards Simon, cheek cushioned on his hand. Simon mirrored him, looking into Wille’s searching eyes.

“Is this okay?” Wille whispered.

Simon nodded. They stayed looking at each other for a long time, neither making any moves to say anything.

Finally it was Wille that broke the silence. “I’m really sorry. About everything.”

Shaking his head, Simon said, “It’s fine, Wille.”

“It’s really not. You deserve so much better than this. I’m sorry I got us into this mess.”

“We both got us into this mess. It wasn’t just you. I should never have… It was a bad idea from the start.”

Wille nodded, but didn’t say anything, his eyes pinched at the sides, a tense pull on the corners of his lips.

Simon’s mind was in chaos. He’d hoped to spend a couple of months having a fantastic experience and earning a decent enough wage doing something he loved. Instead, he’d found himself falling for someone, someone sweet and kind and fun. And someone he couldn’t have. It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that this would have to end in a few weeks anyway, and it wasn’t fair that they couldn’t have any time together before then. Simon didn’t want to stop seeing Wille. But he also didn’t want to lose his job.

It was a mess. He’d put the boundaries in place for a reason. And he knew that starting anything again with Wille was a bad idea. But right now, in the middle of the night, only a handful of centimetres apart, Simon couldn’t think of any of those reasons.

So he shuffled forwards slightly, erasing those centimetres, nose nudging Wille’s. He heard Wille’s breath catch in his throat. His eyes fluttered shut and his chest rose as if he was breathing Simon in. 

Slowly, carefully Simon moved further forwards until their lips were a hairsbreadth apart. “This doesn’t change anything,” he whispered.

Without opening his eyes, Wille nodded. Taking that as a final invitation, Simon lurched forwards, bringing his hands up to cup Wille’s face and crashing their lips together, gasping as Wille’s hand on his lower back pulled them even closer together.

The kiss was frantic and desperate and Simon never wanted to let go. After several minutes of lips and tongues and teeth, Simon pushed himself back, breathing heavily. 

Wille’s hands were inside Simon’s t-shirt, burning imprints into his back. Simon’s were bunched in the front of Wille’s pyjamas where he’d tried to pull them even closer together.

Gently, Wille pressed a small kiss to Simon’s lips. His eyes were shimmering, and Simon didn’t want to see. So he turned over, and snuggled himself backwards towards Wille.

“Will you hold me?” he murmured, half hoping Wille wouldn’t hear.

But Wille looped his arms around Simon’s chest and pulled them flush together.

“Good night, Simon.” Wille’s voice was gentle and tickled his ear.

Simon swallowed, letting himself melt back into Wille’s embrace. “Good night, Wille.”

Not wanting to think any more, Simon closed his eyes, and eventually Wille’s steady breathing lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

Simon awoke slowly; the last tendrils of sleep clinging on as he became more aware of his surroundings. After the early days of hating the feeling of the ship moving under him, now the gentle heave and sway was adding to his drowsy contentment.

Vaguely, he was aware of how warm he was, much warmer than he had been on previous mornings. He was just trying to remember why he felt the remnants of annoyance buzzing under his skin, when he noticed something move.

Suddenly, Simon remembered why he was warmer this morning, and was now acutely aware of a strong arm wrapped around his middle underneath his t-shirt, a broad chest moulded to his back, and gentle breath tickling his ear. After a moment of holding himself tense, Simon let his body relax. He let himself bask in the contentment being in Wille’s embrace brought him, still trying to push back the reasons this was a bad idea. Because everything about waking up in Wille’s arms felt right, it felt like exactly where he was supposed to be.

He sensed rather than heard Wille wake up, his breath hitching slightly as it went from deep and slumbrous to shallow and quick.

The arm round Simon’s torso tensed slightly, the palm spreading as Wille’s hand splayed across Simon’s stomach. Simon’s eyelids fluttered shut again as he felt the heat unfurl from where Wille’s hand was pressing into his abdomen. Wille’s fingers were moving gently, carefully, minutely caressing the skin across Simon’s middle; if Simon’s senses weren’t on high alert he might not have even noticed.

Simon’s breath stuttered and Wille’s hand stopped its ministrations. Then, “Good morning,” Wille whispered, voice gravelly and rough from sleep.

Unsure if he’d be able to speak, Simon instead pressed himself slightly closer to Wille, who gave a gentle gasp as their hips connected. It felt good, he felt good. And suddenly, nothing else mattered. 

Trying to tamp down the smile on his lips, he replied, “Good morning.”

Wille groaned and buried his nose into Simon’s hair, shifting his hips back slightly to hide his erection. 

Simon held his breath for a moment, unsure of what he wanted to do. He wanted Wille, he’d established that already, but he knew the exact reasons why this was a terrible idea. However, lying here in this bed, with the feel of Wille surrounding him, overwhelming him, it was hard to convince himself he wouldn’t regret it if he didn’t take this opportunity.

Wille started to move his hand away from around Simon and, making a split second decision, Simon grabbed it and pressed it back into the soft skin of his belly. He felt Wille’s shuddering exhale against the back of his neck, the little hairs there sticking up as goosebumps travelled all the way down his arms.

Flexing his fingers ever-so-slightly, Wille took another breath. “Is this okay?”

Simon nodded before swallowing. “Yes,” he said, and pressed himself backwards again to another sharp intake of air from Wille.

Nudging his forehead to the base of Simon’s neck, Wille began moving his hand, still painfully gently, but now with more purpose. Every slight flex of Wille’s fingers sent sparks of electricity through Simon’s body, his toes curling with anticipation. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Simon shifted his hips back slightly again, feeling Wille’s answering groan vibrate down his spine; a reverent - “Simon” - whispered into the scant space between them.

Emboldened, Wille started moving his hand more. Tracing delicate patterns onto Simon’s body, skimming up and across his chest, leaving Simon’s skin tingling in its wake, gently tweaking one of his nipples, eliciting a mewling gasp, before moving away, back to his navel, tracing the line of hair down to—

“Still okay?” Wille breathed, fingers dipping ever-so-slightly into the hem of Simon’s underwear. 

Simon felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin at any moment so— “Yes. God, yes please.”

With no more hesitation, Wille plunged his hand into Simon’s underwear and took hold of him.

Now it was Simon’s turn to let out a low groan. It was like it was almost involuntary when he felt Wille thrust his hips forward slightly, and his erection pressed against the curve of Simon’s backside. 

After a moment, in which Simon could hear both of their ragged breathing, Wille began to move his hand, slowly at first, gently teasing and caressing. Suddenly, it wasn’t enough for Simon. He dragged Wille’s hand out of his boxers and turned around.

“Sorry!” Wille said, shuffling back. “Was that not— Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

But Simon reached forward and grabbed Wille’s hip, pulling them together again. He buried his face in Wille’s shoulder as he felt a strangled sound leave his mouth at the feel of their cocks brushing against each other, overwhelming even through their underwear. 

“No,” Simon said, panting slightly. “It was fine. Great. Fucking fantastic. I just wanted to—” 

“Wanted to what?” 

Simon could tell that Wille was holding back, waiting for something more from Simon.

He lifted his head from Wille’s shoulder to find intense eyes contemplating him. Insides turning to molten lava, Simon leant slowly forward, brushing his nose against Wille’s. Wille’s eyes fluttered shut, lips slightly parted.

“I wanted to do this,” Simon said, and pressed forward, erasing the last millimetres of space between their quivering lips.

Wille responded immediately, bringing his hand up to cup the back of Simon’s head, holding him with so much reverence that Simon felt his whole body melting into Wille’s. They got lost in the kiss for a while, Simon’s hands skimming up Wille’s back, palms caressing his shoulder blades, up the sides of his neck, into his hair, never stopping in one place for long. Pausing to tug off his own t-shirt, Simon waited impatiently as Wille followed suit, before crashing them back together again.

Simon felt Wille groan into his mouth. “Simon,” he murmured again, as he pressed his hips forward.

Hands skimming down Wille’s back, Simon grabbed Wille’s ass and tugged, causing them both to have to break their kiss to catch their breath. 

“Can I?” Wille whispered, fingers skirting over the elastic of Simon’s boxers.

“Yes,” Simon breathed, lifting his hips. Digging his own fingers into Wille’s waistband, Simon slipped them down with a nod from Wille, removing the last barrier of clothing between them.

They pulled one another close once more and Simon saw stars as they brushed against each other.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and swallowed Wille’s response with another bruising kiss.

Finally having permission to touch Wille exactly where he had wanted to for these past weeks was dizzying for Simon. He wanted to take his time, but he also couldn’t get his hands on him quickly enough. 

Wille seemed to be having the same conundrum. Everything alternated between frantic and gentle, soft and fiery; it was passionate, and loving, and overwhelming and the best sex Simon had ever had. His body sang under Wille’s touch and he let himself be worshipped in a way he could never remember having been before, and he worshipped Wille’s body in return. They danced together as the ship rocked beneath them, riding waves of pleasure as real waves crashed against the hull.

After they had both cleaned themselves up, they lay facing one another on the bed, gazing into each other’s eyes. 

A euphoric giggle escaped Simon’s mouth.

“What?” Wille said, laughing self-consciously.

“Nothing,” Simon said. “I just can’t believe we did that.”

“I know,” Wille said, face serious. “I know it’s really complicated. I—”

Simon reached up and placed his hand gently over Wille’s mouth. “Can we just pretend it’s not?” he breathed. “Just for a minute. I know we’ve got to get up and face the day soon. Can we just… have this?”

Nodding, Wille leant their foreheads together and wrapped his arms tightly around Simon. Sighing, Simon held him close, breathing him in, and hoping they could find a way to have this. Even if only for a while longer.

Chapter Text

WILLE

The day that Wille woke up with Simon in his arms might have been one of the best of his life and he walked around the ship with a spring in his step all day. They’d got out of bed, exchanging giggly kisses, some of which threatened to keep them in bed a little longer, until Simon insisted Wille go to work. They’d shushed each other dramatically as Simon snuck his head out to check the coast was clear before ducking back for a quick kiss and hurrying away.

Wille knew they hadn’t fixed everything, or anything at all really. He knew their whole situation was still fucked up, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. Not when Simon had felt so good wrapped around him, had sounded so delicious as Wille had kissed, touched, worshipped.  

And not when Simon was leaving in only a few short weeks. Wille was determined to make the most of their time together, and try exceptionally hard to not think about what was happening at the end of that.

So Wille did his job. He attended his boring meetings, oversaw updates to the budget, called his mother to brief her on the latest restructure, and liaised with the head of maintenance about the toilet issue. Secretly, he hoped it wouldn’t be fixed today, to give Simon an excuse to stay with him again. He wished there didn’t have to be an excuse.

His shift finished just before dinner, where he headed to quickly grab something before sneaking into The Apex to watch Simon perform.

August threw him a sideways glance, narrowing his eyes, but Wille just gave him a cheery wave and settled himself in the back corner. Simon kept catching his eye and grinning and Wille’s heart was just about ready to beat out of his chest. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have met Simon, how good he felt when they were together, how hopeful and happy and alive he felt. 

There was polite applause as Simon finished one song and moved to seat himself behind the keyboard. He adjusted the microphone and looked up to meet Wille’s eyes. It was as if all the air had gone out of the room and they were the only people there. Simon cleared his throat before closing his eyes and beginning to sing.

“Now that we're both standing here
In this moment
It's like there's no-one else here
You're in focus”

When Simon opened his eyes again and their gazes met, Wille could feel his heartbeat in his throat, pulsing in time with Simon’s fingers on the keyboard.

“Sometimes it won't be easy
But things that really matter never are
They break your heart
But I'd go anywhere for you
Anywhere for you, I'd go”

Watching Simon sing into his microphone on that stage, Wille realised something, something he probably should have realised sooner. Should have realised this morning, watching Simon giggle, tangled up in his bed. Should have realised yesterday when he ached to have Simon in his arms again. Should have realised as he watched Simon sing every other time he’d been here. 

Wille was completely and utterly in love.

The thought hit him like a tonne of bricks and left him momentarily stunned. But then Simon’s voice reached his ears and he felt the tension ease out of him again. 

“To the places where your broken heart is
In the dark, no starlight cutting through
If the waves are tryna take you under
Well, they're gonna have to take me too”

Of course he was in love with Simon, how could it be anything else? And that thought didn’t scare him; quite the opposite. It filled him with an immense sense of calm. The feeling settled on him like a warm blanket, and he smiled.

“If you're falling or even if you're flying
I'm gonna be next to you, know it's true
I'll go anywhere for you
Anywhere for you, I'd go”

The end of Simon’s performance felt like surfacing after aeons underwater. Polite clapping and background noise from the bar assaulted his ears as Wille blinked dazedly at the stage watching Simon thank the audience and move to the next song. His whole body felt syrupy and warm and every inch of him tingled to touch Simon again.

Wille stayed until the end of Simon’s shift. At just after midnight, he slipped backstage and pulled Simon in for a fiery kiss. Giggling, Simon looped his arms around Wille’s neck and held them close, fingers in Wille’s hair, before pulling back with a sigh. “What if August sees?” he whispered, rubbing his nose against Wille’s.

“Fuck August,” Wille said, capturing Simon’s lips again.

“No, thank you,” Simon giggled. “I’d much rather— Mph!”

The sentence got lost as Wille covered Simon’s lips with his own once more.

“Wille,” Simon said, more firmly, pushing Wille’s shoulders with his hands.

Cold panic filled Wille’s chest. Had he misread this? Should he not have assumed? Were they not—

“Much as I like where this is going” - the look in Simon’s eyes, and the suggestively raised eyebrow calmed Wille’s suddenly erratic heart rate - “I really don’t want to get fired. Just… go and wait for me out there. I won’t be long.”

Heaving a put-upon sigh, but feeling exceptionally relieved, Wille grinned. “Okay,” he said. “I can manage that.”

“Are you sure?” Simon teased.

“No,” Wille laughed, “but I guess I’ll have to find out.”

Simon gave Wille’s backside a light squeeze as he turned to leave, eliciting a delighted giggle and a playful shush. 

As Wille reentered the bar, he noticed August was still there, pretending to clean a glass whilst flirting with one of the regulars. Rolling his eyes, Wille tried to go unnoticed, but August caught his glance, sending him something that might have been a smile, but looked more like a grimace. The woman - Wille couldn’t remember her name, Anna… something maybe - looked him up and down rather predatorily before turning back to August with a flick of her hair, bracelets jangling with the movement.

Wille settled himself into one of the booths and waited for Simon. True to his word, it was only a couple of minutes before Simon emerged from the back of the stage, looking utterly radiant with the huge smile he was sending Wille’s way. When Simon noticed August, who was watching them closely, his walk stuttered slightly. But he just tilted his head at Wille as he walked past the bar, sending August a saccharine smile.

“Goodnight, August!” Simon called. “See you tomorrow!”

August opened and closed his mouth a few times, causing Wille to snicker behind his hand. 

Common sense told Wille to wait a couple of minutes before following Simon out. Common sense that Wille did not want to follow, but knew he had to if he wanted Simon to keep his job and wanted them to be able to continue seeing each other.

Counting slowly in his head, Wille sprang up once he got past a hundred, not able to wait any longer. August went to say something but Wille just waved and called, “Better head to bed. Busy day tomorrow!”

August’s confused expression was enough to make Wille dissolve into laughter once he’d rounded the corner to find Simon leaning against the wall waiting for him. 

“Come on,” he said, grabbing Simon’s hand and pulling him down the corridor.

“Where are we going?” Simon laughed. 

“You’ll see.”

The idea had just come to Wille, his chest full of joyful bubbles, his body overflowing with the thrill of them having this to themselves, at least for a little bit. If he could only have Simon in secret, then he planned on making every moment together worth it.

Simon’s laughter buoyed Wille on as they tumbled down the corridors, periodically shushing each other, but without much urgency. Wille tugged Simon’s hand as they neared the planetarium. Simon’s face lit up but Wille shook his head.

“Not this time,” he said. “Give me a sec.”

Wille poked his head into the office beside the planetarium, and rolled his eyes as Henry scrambled to look like he was working. At least this time his screen was actually on, the fact that it was open on Netflix was irrelevant. 

“Hey, boss,” Henry said, with mock joviality.

“Not your boss,” Wille said. “I need your keys.”

Henry groaned. “I can’t give you my keys.”

“Yes you can.”

“Which one do you need?”

“I’m not telling you,” Wille said. “I need you to not know where I am.”

A mischievous grin spread on Henry’s face. “Causing trouble, boss?”

“Still not your boss. And yes. Fireable trouble. So the less you know, the better. Keys, Henry.”

“What do I get for it?”

“Me not telling your actual boss how little work you do around here.” Wille knew he was pushing his luck. He liked Henry, but at this point, he liked Simon a whole lot more. Was, in fact, in love with Simon. So he’d do just about anything if it meant them getting to spend some time together.

Henry’s next groan was only slightly real, and Wille knew he’d won.

“I want better shifts next contract.”

“No.”

“I want Saturdays off.”

“No.”

“I want Felice’s phone number.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You have to give me something!”

“My undying gratitude,” Wille said, grinning. “But I’ll also throw in one of those crème brûlées that never get served in our restaurant.”

It looked like Henry was mulling it over, but Wille could tell he was already imagining eating it.

“Fine,” he huffed. “But I want two. And one of the bottles of red wine.”

“Just the crème brûlée,” Wille said. “But I’ll get you two.”

Glaring, Henry unhooked the keys from his belt and threw them at Wille, who caught them after only fumbling slightly.

“Can I go to bed?” Henry asked.

“When your shift’s over!” Wille called over his shoulder as he left the office.

Euphoric, Wille shook the keys at Simon as he neared him again. 

“What was all that about?” Simon asked, a slightly unsure smile on his face.

“Henry thinking he has any sort of leverage on me,” Wille grinned. “But it’s fine. Come on.”

Grabbing Simon’s hand again he tugged him down corridor after corridor and out into the main lobby. Since it was past midnight, there was almost no one around, but Wille still thought it was prudent to let go of Simon’s hand when they were in such a public space. Crossing the open area, Wille chanced a look at Simon.

“Where are we going?” Simon asked again as they entered a corridor leading away from the main area.

“Have you been to this part of the ship before?” Wille asked.

Simon nodded. “I’ve wandered around here. But not much. Isn’t there just the gym and the—” A look of comprehension dawned on his face. “Oh!” he said. “Is it— Can we go there at night?”

“Technically no,” Wille said, shaking the keys, “but I have means.”

“Is it… safe?” Simon asked.

“Can you swim?” Wille asked.

“Yes,” Simon huffed, indignantly.

“Then as long as you don’t plan on drowning, we’ll be fine.”

Simon’s laughter was music to Wille’s ears. 

They walked the rest of the way in a sort of anticipatory silence. Wille slipped the key into the lock on the glass door at the entrance to the leisure pool and ushered Simon inside, locking it behind them.

Their footsteps echoed on the tiles and the smell of chlorine hung in the air.

“I don’t have any swim shorts,” Simon said.

Wille raised an eyebrow at him. “What a shame,” he said.

Simon blinked at him a few times, and Wille had a sudden worry that he was being too presumptuous, that he shouldn’t have assumed that—

The air almost left Wille’s lungs as Simon lunged at him, pinning him against the wall. Their lips were so close they were almost touching, but not quite.

“That wasn’t very good planning,” Simon breathed between them.

“I think it was excellent planning, actually,” Wille said, the breathlessness of his voice at odds with his confident words.

“I suppose we’ll have to make do,” Simon said, before slowly pressing himself forward - thighs, hips, and chests touching - and dropping a quick, dirty kiss to Wille’s lips, before tearing off, leaving Wille momentarily stunned.

By the time Wille gathered his remaining wits and sped after him, Simon had already divested himself of his t-shirt and was standing on the edge of the pool, the slightly blue ripples reflecting off his skin. 

Wille’s brain ground to a halt once more. Although his hands and mouth had been all over that torso this morning, they’d been so closely wrapped around each other that he hadn’t really had a chance to look.

So he looked now.

Simon’s body was all smooth planes and sharp edges, soft curves and enticing hollows. He wanted to touch every part of it. Caress his chest down to his hips. Lick his way down—

Wille was snapped out of his daydream by a small laugh. “You’re drooling,” Simon said, a pleased smile on his lips.

Grinning back, Wille quipped, “Who can blame me?” Then he whipped his own t-shirt over his head, making Simon’s smile slip off his face. 

They made quick work of the rest of their clothes, and Simon yelped with glee as they both jumped into the pool. The sound echoed eerily off the domed glass ceiling, the palm trees and rocks adorning the edges of the room doing nothing to absorb the sounds of their splashing.

Wille looked around to see where Simon had gone when he felt a pair of slippery arms wrap around him from behind and pull him under the water. Resurfacing with a splutter, Wille rounded on Simon and tried to repay the favour.

They messed around for a few minutes, each trying to overpower the other, and finding themselves fairly equally matched. It wasn’t long, though, before Simon swam more calmly towards Wille and hooked his arms over his shoulders.

They gazed at each other for a while. The high ceiling looked out onto a night sky that neither of them were interested in experiencing, far too absorbed by the face in front of them. The silence was oppressive, the emptiness of the vast space pressing down on Wille’s eardrums without the splashing and chatter of people that normally filled the room during the day. The gentle lapping of the water at the edges was far too clinical to feel like the ocean, but calmed Wille nonetheless, the water supporting their weight as they bobbed together.

Eventually, Simon broke the silence. “Hey,” he said, his smile reflected in the water below his chin.

“Hey,” Wille responded, reaching for Simon’s hips. He’d momentarily forgotten they were both naked, and made the executive decision to not pull Simon any closer for now.

It seemed like the right move, because a small frown appeared between Simon’s eyebrows as he said, “We probably need to talk.”

Nodding, Wille said with a sigh, “I think you’re probably right.”

Neither of them said anything for a few long seconds before Simon slowly leaned forwards, pressing his lips to Wille’s. Surprised, Wille wrapped his arms around Simon’s back, bringing them closer together. “This isn’t talking,” Wille whispered in one of the gaps between kisses.

Simon sighed. “I know,” he said, rubbing his nose against Wille’s. Their faces were both wet and Wille could taste chlorine as well as Simon as they kissed again. 

“I really like you,” Simon admitted, voice small.

“I really like you too,” Wille replied quickly.

Simon’s arms tightened around his shoulders and he wrapped his legs around Wille’s waist. This was dangerously becoming a situation in which Wille wouldn’t be able to think clearly enough to have a proper conversation.

But Simon’s next words went some way to slowing down the blood rushing south. “But, Wille… I can’t lose my job over this.”

Wille didn’t respond immediately. Just carefully ran his hands up and down Simon’s thighs. “I know,” he said, eventually. “But I don’t want to lose you, either.”

Simon sighed and rested his forehead on Wille’s shoulder. Wille wondered if it was so that he didn’t have to look in Wille’s eyes.

“Wille…” he said, sounding defeated. “You’re going to lose me anyway. I’ve already told you I’m not staying on board forever. Maybe not even after this contract.”

“I know,” Wille said, starting to get desperate. “But we said we could have a few weeks. We said we didn’t have to avoid each other. We—”

“But that was before August threatened to fire me,” Simon said, leaning back again. Arms still looped behind Wille’s neck, but eyes harder.

Panic was starting to fill Wille’s chest, making it feel tight as he tried to pull in his breaths. “Simon, what are you saying? I thought after this morning— Are you saying you want to stop? What—”

The groan that left Simon’s mouth was frustrated, but he still leant forward to press his forehead into Wille’s. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I just— It’s a really big deal. And I can’t lose this job. It’s not just the money, I need the references and—”

“I can give you references.”

Simon’s smile was sad. “Wille…” he sighed. “Don’t you think that’s exactly why this rule exists in the first place? Because we’ve just tried to tell August that I don’t get special treatment.”

“But it would be so unfair if you lost your job!” Wille exclaimed. “Because you don’t get special treatment! I have nothing to do with your day-to-day work. I don’t organise your rota or your cabin or your pay. This rule gets bent and broken all the time. If August fired you, it would be out of spite. So the rules don’t even matter.”

“Yeah, to you,” Simon snapped. “Because you’re above them.”

Wille pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Sorry,” Simon said, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to— I’m just worried.”

Hugging them closer together, Wille let Simon lay his head on his shoulder. They clung to each other, no words good enough to fix the problem. Nothing else Wille could say to make it better.

After several minutes, in which Wille wondered if this might be the end, Simon mumbled, “I don’t want to lose you either.”

Not daring to believe his ears, Wille just tightened his hold on Simon. “Then don’t,” he said.

“Is it really that simple?” Simon asked, words still muffled in Wille’s shoulder.

“We can make it that simple,” Wille said, determination taking over. “Simon, I really, really like you.” (I love you). “We can make this work. We just have to be discreet, and careful, and not take silly risks.”

“Like coming to the closed swimming pool in the middle of the night?” Simon lifted his head and Wille was overjoyed to see a cheeky smile on his face.

“Well, we’re here now,” Wille said, grinning back. “May as well make use of it.”

Simon's face fell slightly. “And the fact that I’m leaving at some point…?” His eyes darted around Wille’s face, looking for an answer.

Wille tried to rein in all the scary, big confessions that were on the tip of his tongue, because they would just make the whole thing worse. “Is really sad,” Wille said, trying to look as resolved as possible, and not like he was falling apart inside. “But like we said last time, that shouldn’t stop us having this now, right?”

Simon didn’t look completely convinced, so Wille ploughed on. “What would be the point in just being miserable whilst you’re here, and then more miserable when you go? We might as well have fun now.”

“Fun?”

Wille tried to convey his sincerity when he said, “I just want to spend time with you.” 

“Me too,” Simon said. “I really, really like you too.”

Wille wondered if he could hear the same unspoken thing in Simon’s confession as had been in his, but reminded himself that most people didn’t fall in love with people they couldn’t have when they’d only known them for a few weeks.

Yeah, Wille thought bitterly, but most people don’t have the privilege of falling in love with Simon. 

But other people would eventually. Weeks, months, years after Wille had last seen him, Simon would be in love with someone else, and Wille would still be on this fucking ship, living a monotonous, miserable life that he hadn’t chosen. So Wille had to make the most of it. If this was his one shot at a spark of happiness, even if it was short lived, he had to take it.

“I promise we’ll be careful,” Wille said. “Just… please, Simon. We can have this.”

Frowning, Simon watched Wille for a moment. And another. Then he lifted a hand from around Wille’s neck and traced it gently over his eyebrow. Wille held his breath, not knowing what Simon was thinking, not wanting to shatter this moment. 

Still concentrating hard, Simon’s finger made a path round the side of Wille’s cheek, down to his chin, up the length of his jaw and around his ear. His face was being mapped out by Simon’s delicate touch, and Wille had never felt closer to someone in his life. All the love he was trying to hold in was making his heart about ready to burst out of his chest. He could feel tears pressing at the back of his eyes and a stirring warmth in his lower belly.

Then, just as Wille thought he couldn’t take it any longer, Simon said, “Okay.”

It took a few seconds for Wille to process the word. “Okay?” he finally said.

Simon nodded, an upward tug at the corner of his lips. “Okay. I want to spend time with you too. And I don’t want to have to avoid you just because August is a fucking dick.”

“He’s such a fucking dick.” The laugh that bubbled up Wille’s chest and out of his mouth was euphoric, and the grin on Simon’s face was joyful and so, so beautiful.

But as Simon leaned closer, the grin slipped off, and suddenly, any space that was between them was too much space. So Wille crashed their mouths together, hands reaching for any part of Simon that he could. Simon’s hands were up in his hair and they clung together so tightly. 

They still weren’t close enough, and Wille felt an odd panic in his chest that he couldn’t get enough, that it would never be enough, that there had to be more and now. The pressure behind his eyes was starting to hurt and he desperately didn’t want to cry and have to talk this through more, even though he knew they probably should, because they still weren’t close enough. 

Simon matched his desperation with the pull of his hands and the stroke of his tongue and the grip of his thighs around Wille’s waist. The fingers scrabbling at his shoulder blades told Wille that Simon was having a similar crisis about their proximity.

Wille wrapped his arms completely around Simon’s back, holding him so close that it was becoming increasingly difficult to continue kissing. But somehow they managed it. 

A small whining whimper escaped Simon’s mouth and Wille hugged him tighter, wondering whether if he wished for it hard enough, they could bypass pesky physics laws and just exist in the same space.

Apparently, Simon was the stronger of the two of them, because eventually he pulled back, Wille only breaking the kiss to prevent them from plunging into the water.

“Wille,” Simon said, his voice rough and breathless.

“Mhm?” Wille said, trying to chase Simon’s lips once more.

This time, Simon put a finger on his lips to stop him. Blinking a few times, Simon dragged his finger over Wille’s lips and watching Wille’s lip tug with the motion. Simon looked up and smiled. It was the most wondrous thing Wille had ever seen, and he couldn’t believe he wasn’t still kissing it. 

But then Simon giggled before hitching a mock-stern expression onto his face. “Wille. I refuse to have sex in a public swimming pool.”

That snapped Wille out of whatever love-drunk haze he’d been in and he snorted. “We’d better get you out of this pool then.” Which pulled a delighted laugh out of Simon.

Wille leant forward for another kiss but Simon unwrapped his legs and pushed himself back, floating away from Wille, a grin on his face.

Simon quirked an eyebrow. “Are you coming then?”

Wille did not need to be told twice. Kicking off from the bottom of the pool, he glided to the edge and hauled himself out, turning just in time to watch Simon’s shoulders tense with the effort of pulling himself up, water droplets dripping down his back.

When Simon met his gaze, he winked. “You’re drooling again,” he quipped, and walked past, trailing a hand teasingly down Wille’s chest.

Without gracing that with a reply, Wille hurried to follow. 

As turned on as the last few minutes had made him, almost all of it was extinguished as Wille realised that they had to get dressed to walk back through the ship without having brought any towels. The idea of putting clothes onto wet skin was utterly revolting to him.

“When you say you refuse…?”

Simon held up his boxers with distaste. “I am slightly questioning my resolve,” he said. “But I know I’m going to regret it if we—”

“Oh wait!” Wille said. “The changing room has towels you can rent! Give me a sec.”

Rushing through to the next room, Wille fumbled with the keys and found the one for the towel dispenser, before heading back with two. “Here,” he said, draping one over Simon’s shoulders and rubbing his arms.

Simon leant back into the touch, head tipped back onto Wille’s shoulder. He sighed as he whispered, “Wille…”

“Hmm?”

“I refuse to have sex on the poolside either. So I really need you to stop touching me.”

Lifting his hands quickly from Simon’s upper arms, Wille hurriedly dried himself off with his towel, trying extremely hard not to peek too often at Simon lest he delay the whole thing even more.

After what felt like aeons, they were both fully dressed once more, and mostly presentable enough to be seen in public. As requested, Wille did his best to keep his hands to himself as they walked back through the corridors of a deserted ship, but the anticipation that was coursing through his veins was making it exceptionally difficult to concentrate. Especially when he now knew exactly what Simon’s body looked like under those clothes. 

That drop of water that was dripping tantalisingly down Simon’s neck and disappearing under his collar was begging to be licked off; the undone top button of Simon’s shirt revealed collar bones that Wille wanted to bite; the trousers hugged Simon’s arse so perfectly that—

Determinedly, Wille strode forwards, overtaking Simon, who chuckled knowingly. “Fuck off,” Wille muttered. “This is really hard.”

“I know it is,” Simon said, winking.

Wille groaned. “How are you not suffering here? Has this ship always had this fucking many corridors and staircases?”

Simon’s laughter rang brightly through the air and Wille’s whole body was thrumming with the effort it was taking to not push him into the wall and devour him there and then.

At long last, they made it to Wille’s corridor, both of them practically running to get to the door. Wille did a cursory glance down the corridor to make sure they were alone, but Simon had already attached his lips to the back of Wille’s neck and was placing wet, open-mouthed kisses down the side.

“Simon,” Wille moaned, trying to fumble his key. “I thought we had to be careful.”

“It’s my job on the line,” Simon said, between kisses. “I get to decide when I’m allowed to do this.”

Wille’s groan stuttered as Simon slipped his hands under Wille’s shirt just as he managed to wrench the door open, letting them both stumble inside.

For several minutes, Wille wasn’t sure whose limbs belonged to whom or even really which way was up. Simon had been on him before the door had properly closed and despite elbows banging into walls and feet stumbling out of trousers, they managed to divest themselves of their clothes and tumble onto the bed, barely separating their lips.

Only now did they both slow down. Wille took a moment, hovering above Simon to trace his fingers across Simon’s face, pausing to drag a finger over his lip. Simon’s tongue darted out to lick it just as he reached his hand down to grab Wille’s arse and pull them closer together. It was all so overwhelming, Wille didn’t know if he was more turned on, or more in love, or if he would ever be able to tell the difference when it came to Simon. As he buried his face in Simon’s shoulder to stifle his groan, Simon took advantage and rolled them over, straddling Wille’s hips.

Hands automatically going to Simon’s thighs, Wille gazed up at him. 

“These beds are so fucking noisy,” Simon muttered, leaning forward on his forearms to nudge his nose against Wille’s.

“We’ll have to be quiet then,” Wille said, stretching up to kiss him.

“What if I don’t want to be quiet?”

Wille smiled against Simon’s mouth and ran his hands up the sides of his ribcage, over his shoulders and into his hair. “If I’m doomed to stay on this ship forever, I’d rather my neighbours didn’t know everything I’ve done in here.”

Eyes closed, Simon nuzzled his face into the crook of Wille’s neck. ”What if I don’t want you to stay on this ship forever?” he whispered.

Wille’s heart stuttered in his chest, and suddenly everything ached. For his whole life he’d just assumed that this would be what he did; it was what was expected of him, and he knew his mother needed him. And since there had never been any other option, Wille had never considered them; content with just letting this mediocre existence happen to him. No one had ever suggested anything different. No one had ever wanted anything else from him, other than a lifetime of service aboard this ship. 

Simon had stilled, gently nudging his nose against the side of Wille’s throat.

“Simon…” he said, unsure of where he was going to go with that.

Wille felt Simon’s thighs tense against his hips as he sat back up, dark eyes flitting everywhere except Wille’s face. “It’s fine,” Simon said, his voice breezy. “Sorry. That was a ridiculous thing to say. I didn’t—”

Sitting up quickly, Wille wrapped his arms around Simon’s back and pressed their chests together. Simon’s body was stiff in his arms and Wille wanted to go back to several minutes earlier when they were playful and horny and nothing felt difficult.

“Simon…” he said again, still with no plan of what to say next. 

But Simon just shook his head into the crook of Wille’s neck. “It’s fine,” he said. “I didn’t mean— Pretend I didn’t say anything. Will you just kiss me again?”

So Wille did. He kissed him and he held him and he made gentle love to him. The whole time Simon’s words were dancing around inside Wille’s head. Because he could never forget, never erase the memory of someone wanting him. And that someone being Simon, who Wille wanted more than anything in the world.

SIMON

The next morning Simon woke to Wille already dressed.

“Hey,” Simon mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Just after eight,” Wille said, pulling on his shoes. “I have a meeting in twenty minutes so I’m going to go and grab breakfast. Do you want anything?”

Simon yawned and stretched his arms. “No, thanks. I’ll go myself in a bit.”

“Okay.” Wille looked at him with a soft smile on his lips. Simon returned it, butterflies erupting in his stomach as he did so. 

Hopefully this meant Wille wasn’t completely freaked out by Simon’s ridiculous declaration, said in the heat of the moment last night. And even though Wille leaving made Simon’s chest feel achy and worry spread through his veins, the way Wille leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips almost made the whole thing okay. “I’ll see you later though, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Simon said, nodding. “Hope your meeting is riveting.”

Laughing, Wille pulled his blazer on, glanced over his shoulder once more and left the room.

Simon took his time getting up. He liked waking up in Wille’s bed, especially when there were good memories from last night in it and he could revel in the giddy energy before any of the guilt could creep in.

He swung by his own cabin to grab a change of clothes and was just on his way to breakfast when Felice collared him in the lobby.

“Simon,” she said, stepping in his way.

“Oh! Hi, Felice!” he said. The smile on his face slipped when he saw how serious she looked. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I have a word?” she said.

“I was just heading to breakfast,” he said. “Do you mean now?”

“Yes,” she said. Her voice was slightly sharper than usual and it was making unease spread through his chest. “Now please.”

And she turned without a backwards glance and marched towards the staircase.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Simon followed her in silence to her office, where she ushered him inside and closed the door.

He tugged nervously at his cuffs as she rounded her desk before gesturing to him to sit. Suddenly feeling trapped, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to, but he complied, perching tensely on the edge of the seat.

“What is it?” he said, hearing the shake in his own voice.

Felice sighed and folded her hands in front of her. Her face was tight and Simon couldn’t tell if she was sad, or angry, or—

“Is it Wille?” he said. “Is he—”

“No, it’s not Wille,” she said. “Simon, we’ve had a pretty serious complaint come in.”

“Complaint?” Simon said, nonplussed. “What do you mean? What about?”

“About you.”

Shaking his head in surprise, Simon said, “Me? What do you mean? What have I done? I thought the sets were going down well. I thought—”

“They were,” Felice said, cutting him off. “It’s not about your performance.”

“Then what is it?”

Felice surveyed him shrewdly. From his own experience, and also from his impression through Wille, Felice seemed to be a fair person. He couldn’t imagine she would reprimand him without warning, or without due cause. Shrivelling a little under her gaze, he shifted in his seat.

After a few moments she sighed, shaking her head, “Annemarie told us what happened.”

What? “Annemarie?” Simon’s mind was reeling. What did Felice mean? Did she mean that day up on deck? Why would Annemarie say something about that to Felice? What—

“Simon, it’s a really serious accusation.”

He opened his mouth to protest but then shut it again. All of a sudden, his blood was running cold. This sounded dire. Like ‘about to get fired’ dire. And after everything with Wille, he’d realised just how much he wanted to keep this job, even if only for a little while longer. 

Taking a deep breath through his nose to try to calm himself, he crossed his hands in his lap and asked, “What did she say?”

“I’d quite like to hear your version of events first,” Felice said. “If you can tell me what happened please?”

“Nothing happened!” Simon burst out. “At least, nothing… There must have been some sort of misunderstanding. I was really polite about it and never—”

“Polite? Simon, it doesn’t matter how polite you were, it’s still technically assault.”

It was like the ground had been pulled out from under Simon. “Assault? What the fuck? If anything she assaulted me.”

Felice opened her mouth and then closed it again. “Okay,” she said after a moment. “There’s definitely some discrepancy here. Can you tell me your whole story?”

“Calling it a story makes it sound like you already don’t believe me,” he snapped.

“Simon,” she said, “I want to be able to help you here, but if I don’t have all the facts then I can’t.”

Sighing, he flung his arms out to the side. “I don’t know what’s going on!” he said. “It was weeks ago. We were up on deck and she came over to talk to me. She touched me twice: once on my arm, once on my face. Both times I politely stopped her. She seemed to get the message because she hasn’t done it since. She still flirts with me loads, but I just smile and nod and get on with it.”

Felice’s lips were so thin they had almost disappeared.

“What?” he said. “What’s she said?”

Eyes flicking between Simon’s with a slight frown, Felice eventually sighed. “She said that last night you tried to kiss her, and that when she rejected you you got angry and threatened her.”

Simon blinked several times before he was able to process Felice’s words. The story was so ridiculous, he almost wanted to laugh, but knew that that wouldn’t help. “That isn’t true,” he said.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” he said, more calmly this time, even though his body was so wound up he thought he might start buzzing. “I barely even saw her last night. She came to talk to me as I was setting up, which she always does, but I barely exchanged two words with her before she went to sit back down.”

“She said it happened after your set. That you accosted her in the corridor leading to the cabins.”

“I didn’t see her at all after my set.”

Felice shook her head. “Are you saying she’s lying?”

“Yes! I’m saying she’s lying!” Simon cried. “I swear, Felice. She’s always been a bit flirty, bordering on inappropriate, but I’ve never done anything, I’ve never even reciprocated.”

The silence in the room was suffocating. Simon watched as Felice mulled over his words. “Why does she think she spoke to you after your set then?”

“I don’t know,” Simon said. Then he remembered. “She was talking to August at the bar. As I was leaving, they were chatting. Did she get us mixed up, maybe August—?”

“It was August she reported it to,” Felice interrupted.

A sick feeling settled in the pit of Simon’s stomach. “Fucking August,” he muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“I bet it was August who put her up to this. He fucking hates me, he’ll do anything to get me fired. He—” But Simon stopped himself. He knew that Felice was Wille’s best friend, but she was also Simon’s boss. And this was already more serious than Simon wanted it to be. Pressing his lips shut, he sent her a defiant glare.

“That’s a really severe accusation, Simon,” she said, levelling him with a grave look. “Why would you think that August would do that?”

“Because he’s already told me he wants me fired,” he said, stubbornly.

“Why?”

Simon tilted his chin but didn’t say anything.

Felice sighed in frustration. “Simon, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.”

“But will you help me anyway? If it’s my word against theirs, why would you believe me?”

“Can anyone else attest to the fact that you didn’t interact with her after your set?”

Yes, Simon thought, Wille can. “August saw me leave the bar alone,” he said. “But I doubt that’ll stand for anything. There were other guests there too.”

“But that doesn’t prove you didn’t follow her later.”

“I didn’t.”

The noise that came out of Felice's mouth almost sounded like a growl. “Simon!” she exclaimed. “Can you give me anything here?”

Watching her for a moment, he mulled over his options. He knew she had some idea about him and Wille. But he wasn’t sure where she stood on the whole contract thing, and whether Simon or Wille were in breach of it. He knew that Wille trusted her, but if it came to a decision between Simon and August, Simon didn’t know which side she’d fall on.

But he was running out of options. So he heaved a sigh and dropped his head into his hands. “I was with Wille,” he mumbled.

When he didn’t get an immediate response, he chanced a peek through his fingers. Felice had the biggest grin on her face. He didn’t quite know what to do with that, so he slowly lowered his hands. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said, shaking her head.

“Your face doesn’t say nothing,” he said, frowning.

“It’s just… I’m so happy you guys worked it out! You did work it out?”

“I—” Taking a moment to try to decide how to proceed, he fiddled with his cuffs. “Are you being my boss right now? Or Wille’s best friend?”

Her face fell. “Why do they have to be different people?” she said. “I’m a professional. I can be pleased that my friend isn’t sad any more at the same time as dealing with this.”

“But can you?” he snapped. Her face fell, but Simon was strung so tight that he didn’t have the capacity to worry about Felice’s feelings too. “Because my job is on the line here, in more ways than one, and I could do without the whiplash.”

Felice looked horrified. “Simon, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to— I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s none of my business. Except…” She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment. “It means Wille can vouch for you, doesn’t it?”

Simon let out a frustrated noise. “He can’t because I’m not supposed to be with him, am I?”

“What?” said Felice, with a puzzled look. “Why?”

“Because he’s my superior. It’s in my contract, I’ll get fired.”

The confusion on Felice’s face made Simon’s stomach feel strange. He had half hoped she could make sense of the situation. “But he’s not your superior, I am.”

Flinging his arms in the air, Simon cried, “That’s what we said!”

“Who said you’d get fired?” 

“August. This is what I mean. He’s already got one big black mark against my name, it won’t take much for him to just get rid of me.”

Felice levelled Simon with a look. “Simon,” she said. “This must have all been a big misunderstanding. I know the clause August must have been talking about, it’s not for situations like this, he must just be confused. I’ll sort it out. I promise.”

Simon didn’t want to get his hopes up too much, but the fact that Felice knew about him and Wille and wasn’t insisting they put a stop to it made a small spark flicker in his chest. “Is that all?” he said, itching to leave. “Can I go now?”

Sighing, Felice nodded. “I’ll talk to August, see if I can get the whole thing sorted out.”

Saying a hasty goodbye, Simon dashed from the room without a backwards glance.

Simon was twitchy all day. Wille was in back-to-back meetings but Simon half expected August to jump out from behind every corner. 

It was with trepidation that Simon climbed to The Apex for his shift that evening. August wasn’t there, but that wasn’t unusual. However Annemarie was also notably absent, and he couldn’t remember ever seeing her skip a night. Simon wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.

By the time the start of his set rolled around, he was more nervous than he had been for any other performance. Not even Wille slipping in halfway through his first song and sending him a tiny wave and an adoring smile stopped the anxious fluttering of his heart.

And when he made his way out at the end of the evening, he was even glad that Wille was trapped in conversation with an elderly couple and could do no more than send Simon a subtle wink without appearing rude.

Simon snuck out of the bar and made his way down to the cabins. Briefly, he considered just going back to his own room to prevent the risk of someone seeing them and reporting to August. But after the day he’d had, Simon just wanted to be held, so he made his way to Wille’s to wait for him there.

Sure enough, the first thing Wille did when he closed the cabin door behind them both was wrap him in a tight embrace. Simon could feel the tension from the day melt away as Wille breathed him in, rubbing his hands firmly across Simon’s back.

Wille’s exhale hit Simon’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “I’ve missed you,” Wille said, holding Simon impossibly tighter. 

Simon was slightly embarrassed to feel a lump form in his throat. “I’ve missed you too,” he mumbled. “How was your day?”

Sighing, Wille leant back. “Really fucking boring,” he said. “And also stressful. How can something be both of those things? What about you?”

Toying with the idea of brushing over his conversation with Felice, Simon made a fuss of taking his shoes off, but then he realised that he needed to tell someone, and Wille was the only person here who he wanted to talk to.

“I— erm… pretty shit actually.” He laughed, but it felt weird in his throat. 

Immediately, Wille looked serious and grabbed his hands. “Why? What happened?”

Guiding them to sit side by side on the bed, Wille held Simon’s hand between both of his, gently caressing his knuckles. Simon felt the knots in his stomach loosen at the touch.

“Felice called me into her office this morning…” Simon launched into the story, watching Wille’s expression get more and more horrified the longer he listened. 

By the time he was finished, Wille was furious.

“That absolute fucking asshole,” he seethed. “How dare he do that? How dare he threaten you and fabricate something that despicable. What—”

“Wille,” Simon said, laying a hand on his cheek.

Wille let out a forceful exhale.

“I appreciate the support, I really do. But Felice said she’ll handle it. I don’t want you getting into any more trouble than you already will do.”

“But—”

“Wille, do you really think August is going to listen to you? You were right there last time, he’s got it in for you just as much as me. There’s no point in both of us getting fired.”

Nuzzling his cheek into Simon’s hand, Wille said, “If he fires you, he should fire me too. It’s so messed up.”

“Or, even better,” Simon quipped, “neither of us get fired.”

The smile on Wille’s face was forced. “If either of us get fired, it should be me. Surely the superior is the one in the wrong anyway?”

“When has hierarchy ever worked like that? It’s always the fault of the person lower down the ladder.”

“It’s not fair.” 

Shaking his head with a sad smile, Simon said, “It’s not.”

Wille lifted his hands and placed them on either side of Simon’s neck. “What can I do to fix it?”

Simon raised his own hands to cover Wille’s. “I’m not sure there’s much we can do except wait to see what Felice says. If August is making shit up to get at me, I don’t think we’ve got much of a chance.”

“Don’t say that,” Wille said, fiercely, stroking the side of Simon’s neck. “We’ll figure it out. We can’t let him get away with it.”

Tilting his chin forward, Simon pressed a gentle kiss to Wille’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For sticking by me through this.”

“Of course I am!” Wille cried. “I— Simon. None of this is your fault. If anything, it’s mine. But really, it’s just August rampaging around and ruining anything he doesn’t like.”

“I fucking hate August. If that wasn’t already clear.” The pressure in Simon’s throat meant that the casual tone fell sort of flat.

Wille’s laugh was hollow. “Join the club.” 

“Do we get badges? Or maybe t-shirts?”

That pulled a real laugh out of Wille. “Maybe it’s a secret club” - he rubbed his nose against Simon’s. Then, voice dropping to a whisper - “maybe only very special people get to join.” 

Simon’s responding murmur came out more wobbly than he meant it to. “Can I not join, then?”

Nodding, Wille’s nose brushed Simon’s once more. His eyes had fallen shut. “You’re the most special person,” he said. Simon’s heart stuttered in his chest. “I don’t want to be in the club if you’re not in it. I don’t want—” Wille’s breath caught in his throat. “I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not.”

“Wille…” 

Time seemed to slow down. Simon wasn’t sure how they’d gone from lamenting his work crisis, to joking about August, to… whatever this was. His breath was coming in short, sharp bursts. Wille’s face was so close to his, his eyes still shut, lips pursed as if considering something. 

Simon watched as Wille’s eyelids fluttered open. Swirling, brown irises gazed back at him as Wille’s hands moved to cup his cheeks. “Simon… You’re— you’re the best thing about this place. I can’t… I don’t want—” 

Shaking his head, Simon pushed his lips into Wille’s, trying to stop the flow of words that were making it hard for him to breathe.

When they broke apart, Wille’s eyes were wide and wet. “Simon…” His voice was gentle and reverent and Simon’s heart was fit to burst. Wille’s thumbs stroked his cheeks as Simon held his breath. “I love you.”

This time, Simon was convinced that time had actually stopped. That the world had ceased rotating. Or at least had tilted so dramatically on its axis that he no longer knew which way was up. All he knew was that Wille was holding him like he was something precious, and that he had never felt like this about anyone before.

“Wille…”

“I know, it’s ridiculous,” Wille said, desperately. “And I know it’s too soon. And I know you don’t—”

“I love you too.” The moment he said it he knew it was true. Painfully, gloriously, devastatingly true. 

Wille’s eyes went, if possible, even wider. “You—”

“I love you too. So much. And you’re right. It’s ridiculous. But it’s real. Right?” The heartbeat in his throat was making him feel slightly sick.

Wille’s nod was so vigorous that Simon’s body shook with it. “It’s so real. Fuck, I love you so much. I can’t— I don’t—”

But Wille had run out of words, so he launched himself forwards and Simon was only too happy to catch him. They clung to each other, and cried and laughed and tumbled onto the bed in a rush of hands and mouths and tears and pleasure and nothing in Simon’s life had ever felt more real.

Chapter Text

WILLE

The next morning, Wille cancelled all his meetings, kissed Simon until he’d almost forgotten his own name, and then left to go and find Felice.

He strode into her office without knocking and she sent him a furious glare whilst she finished her phone call.

Standing in the corner, tapping his feet with his arms crossed, he frowned at the wall until he heard her slam down the phone.

“What the fuck, Wille? You can’t just—”

“August is lying,” he interrupted. 

Felice paused for a moment, surveying him through narrowed eyes. “Simon said as much.” 

She gestured for him to sit and offered him an apple from her fruit bowl.

“He’s got it in for Simon for some reason, so has made up some horrendous story to try to get him fired.” Wille turned the apple over in his hands but didn’t take a bite. “That thing in the contract is bullshit as well, Felice.”

Watching her as she pressed her lips together, Wille’s heart plummeted. 

“Well…” she started.

“No, Felice. Come on! You’ve known loads of people who’ve got together on here. You know that’s what happens. And anyway, I’m not his manager.”

“I know you’re not, Wille. But do you really think that’ll make a difference to August if he’s got something in his head? You know as well as I do how much stuff like this can get twisted. And you’re right, people have got together and we’ve turned a blind eye. But it’s written into the contract for a reason. It’s to protect people, to prevent abuse and—”

“Felice!”

She held up her hand quickly. “I know there’s nothing sinister going on with you and Simon, Wille. But you’ve got to admit it doesn’t look good if that’s the angle August is going to go with.”

He slammed the apple down on her desk. “What do you mean ‘doesn’t look good’? What, just because I’ve got this shitty fucking job that literally no one else can do, I’m not allowed to fall in love? Because how else am I supposed to do that, Felice? When do I ever get a chance to live a normal fucking life? And then when he leaves? And goes ashore? And I’m stuck on this fucking prison forever? What—” 

But he couldn’t finish his sentence. Great, gasping sobs tumbled from his lips, before tears had even started falling.

Wide-eyed, Felice hurried around her desk and crouched beside him, her hand on his knee. He placed his own over it and squeezed as he tried to get his breathing back under control. Wet rivulets were now tracking down his cheeks and dripping from his chin onto their clasped hands.

“Wille…” she said, voice gentle. “You said— Are you… Are you in love with him?”

Swallowing several times before answering, Wille said, “Of course I’m in love with him. How could I not be?” His voice was shaking, but he’d never been more sure of anything in his life. “I think I probably started falling in love with him the first day I met him. Felice, he’s perfect.”

“Nobody’s perfect.” She attempted a smile but Wille was far too emotional to take the joke.

“Simon is.” He was undeterred by the very sceptical look she gave him. “Felice. He’s perfect for me. He’s sweet and he’s funny and he’s beautiful and he’s got the most incredible voice and he doesn’t take shit from anyone and he’s—”

“Leaving in two weeks, Wille.”

An awful tightness spread in his chest. “I know.”

“Is he really worth getting this worked up over?” She looked incredulous as she stroked her hand down his cheek, drying his tears with her thumb.

“Yes,” he answered, “he is. I’m in love with him, Felice.”

Sighing, she pushed herself back up to her feet to lean on the edge of the desk. “So you’ve said.”

They surveyed each other for a while; Wille trying to control the maelstrom of emotions raging in his chest, Felice watching him carefully.

“What do you want to do then?” she asked, eventually.

“I want to call August out on his lies, I want to make it clear that he can’t just slander someone and get away with it.”

“How are you going to clear Simon’s name, Wille? Because at the moment, there’s a chance he gets fired either way. It’s just that with one option, you get punished along with him.”

“Yeah, but they won’t fire me.”

“I’d like to think not,” Felice said, exasperated. “And if we’re being honest, they’re not going to want that anyway. But you don’t think they have a million different ways to make your life miserable even if they don’t drag you off the ship?”

“My life is already miserable, Felice. He’s worth it.”

Covering her face with her hands, she groaned. “Wille, I love you, but my God you’re hopeless when you’re in love.” Dropping her hands, she held them out to her sides. “What’s the point in you both getting punished?”

“Because the other option is to ruin Simon’s reputation.”

“Maybe Annemarie won’t press charges,” she said. “It sounds like there’s been a big misunderstanding.”

Wille leaned forward and picked the apple up, taking a bite. “I don’t care that she might not press charges,” he said, spraying juice everywhere. “It’d still be a mark on his career if that’s why he gets fired, and I’m not willing to let that happen.”

“Getting fired isn’t going to look good either way.”

“Yeah, but sleeping with his superior is a whole different level of transgression to assault.” He forced the bite down and dropped the rest of the apple in the bin beside Felice’s desk.

She threw him an unimpressed look, but then her face split into a grin. “Was it good?”

Feeling heat rise to his cheeks, Wille tried to feign ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, Wille. You know what I mean.” She held up her fingers into quotation marks. “‘Sleeping with his superior’.”

After a moment, Wille gave up trying to rearrange his face into something innocent. He felt the smile appear unbidden on his lips, the partially dried tears making his eyes feel tight as they crinkled. “Yeah,” he said. “It was. Is.”

Felice looked at him as if waiting for something else. 

“I’m not telling you any more, Felice! Especially not until we’ve sorted all this shit out.”

She groaned dramatically and walked back behind her desk. “You’re a terrible friend, you know that?”

“I don’t want you in friend-mode, I want you in boss-mode. Simon’s boss. As in on his side. You are on his side, right?”

“Wille, I’m just trying to figure out who to believe at this point. I know that you’ve vouched for his whereabouts, but I can’t just dismiss Annemarie’s account like that.”

Scooching forward on his chair, he pressed a hand to his chest. “But you do believe me, right?”

“Of course I believe you,” she sighed. “Do you honestly think the accusations are completely fabricated?”

“Yes,” he said, without hesitation. “There’s no way he’d do something like that. I’ve seen Annemarie with him, she’s all over him, but he never even looked at her funny. And we already know August will look for anything to get rid of him.”

She chewed the inside of her lip as she thought. “I can’t promise anything, Wille. Maybe she mistook him for someone else? Or maybe August really has blown something out of proportion. I don’t know. But this whole thing is really bad.”

“Please try.”

“Of course I’ll try. But I think it’s fairly unlikely Simon will come out of this unscathed.”

Wille’s heart hurt. He knew that she would do everything she could to get a fair result, but he also knew she was being realistic. “I know,” he said.

“What are you going to do?”

Taking a deep breath in through his nose, he said, “Try not to punch August in his stupid, smug face today?”

Giving him a wry smile, she leant across the desk and grasped his hand. “That might be a good idea. Please don’t get yourself into more trouble.”

“Maybe I want to.”

“Don’t say that, Wille. I know you love him. But keep your head, yeah?”

He squeezed her hand. “It’s not my head I’m worried about.”

“I know.” Pulling her hand back and turning to her computer, she said, “Can I trust you not to make it worse though?”

He pushed himself up to standing. “I’ll try.”

Starting to type as Wille walked to the door, Felice called, “And I want to meet him officially after all this is over!”

Pausing with his hand on the handle, Wille turned back to her, his heart sinking. “When this is all over, he might be gone.”

Felice didn’t get a chance to reply before he’d turned and walked out of the door, letting it fall shut behind him.

Wille watched Simon nervously fiddle with the cuffs of his jacket as he waited for Felice to get settled. Reaching out, Wille gripped his hand to try to reassure him, but Simon just sent him a tight smile and retrieved his hand.

Trying not to feel too disappointed, Wille reminded himself that Simon was in a much more dire situation here than he was.

The door opened and August strode into the room. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, flinging himself down onto the empty chair and making the room feel suddenly so much more cramped, “I was just reassuring Annemarie that we take her complaint very seriously and will get to the bottom of this.”

The unimpressed look that Felice sent August eased some of the tension from Wille’s chest. If she thought he was as full of shit as Wille knew him to be then they might be okay.

“Right,” she said, turning to face the three of them. “I know I’ve spoken to all three of you separately about this—”

“Why was Wille involved?” August interrupted. “It’s got nothing to do with him.”

Wille turned to snap back at August but Felice raised her voice. “Hey!”

Sinking back down into his seat, Wille clenched his fists and tried to concentrate on Felice instead of the infuriating look he knew was still painting August’s face.

“This is a serious situation,” she snapped. “I know you two don’t see eye to eye, but we need to do this properly” - she turned to Wille and said in a softer voice - “for Simon’s sake.”

Guilt flooded Wille’s stomach. Giving a curt nod of the head, he pursed his lips. He could feel the tension radiating off Simon in waves. And although he wanted nothing more than to wrap Simon up in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, he knew that that was neither helpful nor necessarily true; so he kept his hands to himself and decided to focus all his energies on getting Simon out of this meeting with his job intact instead.

“Right,” Felice tried again. “I need all three of you to behave, otherwise this is going to end up being more painful for everyone. Understood?”

Abashed, Wille nodded, seeing Simon do the same out of the corner of his eye. August made a noncommittal grunting noise, that Felice seemed to take as assent.

“Okay. So we all know what this meeting is about. Simon” - Wille felt Simon shift slightly at his side - “we’ve had a guest come to August with a complaint about your conduct. She claims that you cornered her alone in the corridor when she was on the way back to her cabin, and when she rejected your advances, you threatened her.”

The buzzing in Wille’s ears made it difficult for him to hear Felice’s next words.

“Can you tell us your version of events?”

Simon took a deep breath before speaking. “That didn’t happen,” he said. Wille was proud to hear that Simon’s voice didn’t shake. “There was an incident up on deck several weeks ago when Annemarie inappropriately interacted with me. But I politely shut her down, and we’ve had nothing but casual conversation since.”

August’s voice cut across Simon. “I object to that. We have no witness—”

“August, this isn’t a courtroom,” Felice interrupted. Wille tried to contain his glee at her barely suppressed eye roll. “Simon is allowed to tell his version of events. In fact, that’s exactly what I asked of him. And as his manager it’s my job to hear him out. Will you let me do my job?”

Wille chanced a glance sideways. August seemed to be battling with himself when he gave Felice a short nod. She turned back to Simon. “And the night before last, when she claims to have seen you, you said you were elsewhere?”

“Yes,” Simon said. He didn’t elaborate. Simon had already made it clear that he didn’t want to drag Wille into it if he didn’t have to. Mainly because in doing so, Simon might lose his job anyway, but also because he didn’t want to get Wille into trouble. 

The breath Felice let out of her nose sounded frustrated. “And you’re not willing to say where you were?” Wille knew she wouldn’t give them away to August if Simon didn’t want to say, even if he could tell she wanted to.

Simon’s face was hard to read as he shook his head. “Like you said, this isn’t a courtroom. And at the moment” - his glance at August was almost imperceptible - “I’m not comfortable saying.”

“Okay,” she said with a sigh. “August, where are you going from here? I believe Simon’s story. I assume Annemarie has either confused Simon with someone else, in which case we need to investigate further and make sure she’s okay, or has fabricated the story for some reason, which I don’t really want to believe.”

“We have to believe the guest,” August said, quickly. “We cannot be seen to be protecting a staff member who may have committed a crime.”

“August, you know that we have to be fair.”

“He assaulted her, how is that fair?” August had thrown his hands up in the air and looked furious.

“I don’t believe that he did,” Felice said calmly. “I am happy to talk to Annemarie myself if you think—”

“No!” August cried out. “That won’t be necessary.”

It took everything in Wille’s power to not interject, but a sharp look from Felice kept him rooted to his seat, lips pressed firmly shut.

“She has given me her statement,” August continued, “and frankly, it’s pretty damning. If a crime has been committed, it is our duty to ensure the member of staff responsible is disciplined accordingly and made to leave the ship at the next—”

“No!” Wille cried out. Both Felice and Simon turned to him. “No. That’s not fair. You can’t—”

“Oh yes I can, Wille. Felice doesn’t get a say in this, I was just being polite following the chain of command up until now. It’s a criminal matter and I am well within my rights to enforce—”

“He was with me!”

The silence in the room was deafening. Wille could hear a high-pitched buzzing in his ears and it felt like his skin was vibrating with the tension. The gleeful smile that spread on August’s face felt like lead in Wille’s stomach, but Wille couldn’t risk Simon getting a criminal record over this. He’d hoped that August wouldn’t follow through and that they’d be able to get away with not mentioning Wille at all. But— 

“And what was he doing with you, Wilhelm?” August said, feigning innocence. 

Swallowing, Wille croaked, “I don’t have to tell you that.” He really wanted to reach for Simon’s hand again, but he could tell from the way Simon was holding his shoulders, tilted slightly away from Wille, that that would be a bad idea.

“Oh, but it isn’t really a criminal defence if you don’t,” August said. “So please, go ahead.”

Wille looked between Felice and Simon. The former just shrugged her shoulders, the latter had turned and was staring at Wille wide-eyed. Simon gave a small shake of his head. “Wille, you don’t have to—”

“I do,” Wille said, fiercely. “He’s never going to let this slide otherwise. Surely you don’t want to risk getting a criminal record because he holds a bit of a grudge?”

“No,” Simon said. “But my job—”

“Is lost either way,” August interrupted. “Either you admit to the affair or I get you thrown off for the assault.”

“August—” Felice started.

“No,” he snapped. “This puffed-up wannabe is ruining Wille’s career prospects and messing up The Crown and I want him gone.”

Felice’s eyes were hard when she asked, “Are you admitting to fabricating the story?”

“I’m doing no such thing. I’m just saying that he’s a piece of work and I won’t have him on my ship.”

“It is not your ship,” Wille hissed.

“It’s not yours yet, either,” August sneered. “What, you think because of who you are you get to break all the rules?”

“Enough!” Felice snapped. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you two, but August, you know as well as I do that this wouldn’t hold up as a criminal case.”

“But he—”

“I don’t care about your personal vendetta against Simon,” Felice interrupted him. “And I will be speaking to Annemarie separately to find out what on earth has happened, because I need to get to the bottom of it for my own sanity and to ensure she hasn’t been taken advantage of. But you can’t press charges against Simon.”

The smile on August’s face was ominous, and Wille felt his stomach clench in anticipation. “But I can fire him for the breach of contract,” he said. “They’ve basically admitted to it. It’s gross misconduct. He’s gone.” The last bit was spat in the direction of Simon and Wille.

“Get out of my office, August.” Felice’s voice was cold and calm. 

But August knew he’d won. He bowed his head in mock reverence and got up to leave, not before throwing a - “Good riddance” - over his shoulder at Simon.

Wille wanted to lurch after him, wanted to push him to the ground and punch that look off his face. But the expression on Simon’s kept him rooted to his seat as the door shut, leaving an echoing silence behind.

“Simon, I’m so sorry,” said Felice. “He’s full of hot air with the criminal charges, but he has some ammunition with the contract. And if he wants to use that as a reason to fire you, he can probably find a way.”

Simon nodded, small and meek, and Wille wanted to scream.

“But I won’t let him kick you off the ship, he doesn’t have that power. You can stay until the end of your contract, even if he fires you.”

“Okay,” Simon said, voice quiet. “Thanks, Felice. Can I go now?”

She sighed but nodded her head. “Yes,” she said. “Take the day off today.”

Wille panicked as Simon stood up and reached out. “Simon—”

But Simon dodged his hand and just shook his head. “Just give me a minute, Wille.” His eyes were wet as he turned to face them. “I’m not mad at you, I just— Can you give me a minute?”

Swallowing hard, Wille dropped his hand and nodded. “Yes. Of course. Sorry. I— Yes.”

Simon nodded once before turning on his heel and striding from the room.

After the most stressful day Wille thought he’d ever had, he made his way to the restaurant to get himself some dinner. He’d used almost all his energy up avoiding August, and then the rest of it trying to not search high and low for Simon.

He wasn’t paying attention as he loaded his pockets with food, planning to sneak away to eat it somewhere quiet. 

There was a small cough behind him as someone cleared their throat. Whipping round, Wille almost dropped the bread rolls in his arms. His surprise was quickly coloured by something dark and fierce as he realised that it was Annemarie, standing behind him looking sheepish and fiddling with the bracelets on her wrist. There were small dark smudges under her eyes, and hastily applied powder only just covered a slightly red nose.

“Hello, Wilhelm,” she said.

The professional in him fought hard with the real person that wanted to curse her out. But he nodded, tight-lipped, and curtly said, “Annemarie.”

“I wonder— I wonder if we might talk somewhere… more private?”

Wille took a moment to watch her face. Her eyes were wide and she was chewing the inside of her lip.

“Fine,” he said. “Follow me.” And he strode from the room, not waiting to see if she had caught up. 

He walked down several corridors before pushing open a door.

“Hey, Wille,” Henry said. “What—”

“Can I borrow this office for a moment?” Wille said, sharply. “I’ll only be five minutes.”

It said a lot about how Wille must have looked that Henry simply nodded and got up to leave, just as Annemarie arrived, slightly out of breath.

“Erm…” Henry started, glancing over his shoulder.

“Actually, Henry,” Wille said, giving Annemarie a reproachful look, “will you just stay outside the door? Keep it open.”

When Annemarie sent him a confused look he just said, “Can’t be too careful. You never know what someone might say has happened.”

Annemarie blushed and looked down at her feet. Appearing thoroughly perplexed, Henry shook his head slightly but did as Wille asked.

Once Henry was out of the room, Wille placed his food on the desk and turned to Annemarie. On closer inspection, she looked even more nervous than she had done in the restaurant; and if Wille wasn’t mistaken, she was already on the verge of tears.

“Okay,” Wille said, crossing his arms. “What did you want to say to me?”

Her bracelets clattered together as she spun them with her opposite hand. “I— uhm… how is Simon?”

Wille felt his eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously?” he said. “He’s a mess. He might lose his job. I— Are you honestly asking me that?”

Her chin wobbled as she pressed her lips together, her signature red lipstick notably absent. Then she burst out, “I’m sorry!” 

Her eyes went wide and she pressed her fingers to her mouth, as if trying to hold the words back. She gave a tiny shake of her head before lowering her hand again. “I’m sorry,” she said, more firmly this time. “I didn’t— Simon never did anything to me.”

“I know that,” Wille said, throwing his arms out to the side. “What the hell happened?”

Annemarie took a small step back and Wille tried to rein in his anger slightly. He crossed his arms again and gestured with his head for her to continue.

“I— I don’t know what happened. Simon… he’s so lovely. And I wanted— hoped… But then he shut me down and I was disappointed. But” - Wille had gone to interrupt but was forced into silence by her tone - “but… I respected his decision and didn’t make another move.”

She paused long enough for Wille to decide to jump in. “But you were always there!” he cried. “You never backed off.”

“I still liked him, okay?” - some of her usual confidence burst out - “I’m only human. I just wanted to watch him sing.” 

And Wille couldn’t really blame her for that could he? He’d also been slipping into the back of the bar to watch Simon sing every night. Was it inappropriate? Had he been crossing any lines? Had Annemarie?

“So…” Wille said. “Why the accusation? Why say that happened when it didn’t? If you liked him so much, why punish him like that?”

“I didn’t,” she said.

Wille waited for her to elaborate. When she didn’t, he shook his head. “Didn’t what?”

“I didn’t make the accusation…”

The realisation hit Wille like a tonne of bricks. “August did.” Of course it had been August. He knew that August had reported Annemarie’s complaint, but he’d assumed August had manipulated Annemarie into saying it, or encouraged her if she’d twisted what had happened up on deck; not that he’d just made it up completely.

When she nodded, Wille felt his stomach plummet. He almost didn’t want to believe it. He’d known August his whole life, and whilst they’d never been close, they’d always had this familial connection. 

“I’m going to fucking—” He pursed his lips shut. Annemarie did not need to know what his plans were for his cousin. But when the red cloud that had descended over him abated slightly, an ache was left in its place. 

Simon. 

If August was willing to go to these lengths to get rid of Simon then they really didn’t stand a chance. And they’d already admitted to their relationship. Or Wille had. Wille knew there was a loophole big enough to get away with it in most cases, but that was without the added complication of August. Who wanted to strangle them both with that same loophole.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, seemingly oblivious to Wille’s spiral. “I’d told August that Simon had rejected me. And he was sympathetic and nice and… and then he just told me he knew how to make me feel better. I thought he was just going to upgrade my cabin or something, maybe get me dinner with the captain. Or perhaps even get Simon to talk to me, have a drink together, a dance maybe. But then he came to me today and told me he’d got Simon fired for it. He thought I’d be pleased.” She gave a hollow laugh. “But I— that was never what I wanted. You have to believe me.”

There was so much Wille wanted to say to that, but he knew it was no use. August used people around him, and assumed that everyone thought like him. Wille knew that if Annemarie had complained about Simon to him, then August would have assumed she wanted him gone, just like he did. So instead Wille just said, “Thanks for telling me.”

It looked as though she wanted to say something more, but she just gave a curt nod and moved to go past him. Pausing at the door, she turned slightly. “Will you tell Simon that I’m sorry?”

Nodding, Wille croaked, “Of course.”

And then she left, leaving Wille alone. 

Several hours later, when the sun had already set over the water, Wille had still not seen Simon at all. Simon had taken Felice’s advice of missing his shift, but Wille already knew August had been ready to turn him away if he showed up, so it had probably been a good decision.

Unsure where exactly Simon might be, Wille roamed the ship aimlessly before deciding to try looking out on deck.

He wandered for a while, making polite small talk with the guests who were taking an evening stroll, before he caught sight of Simon, curled up on a deck chair under one of the blankets that were left out for slightly chilly nights like this one.

Wille took a moment to gaze at Simon’s beautiful profile before making his way towards him and lowering down onto the seat beside him. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Simon gave him a wan smile. “Hey,” he replied. “You found me.”

“Is that okay? I don’t want to intrude or—”

Simon reached out to grip his hand. “It’s fine,” he said, sighing. “I want you here.” Simon swung his legs so that he was facing Wille. “I missed you.”

All the tension that Wille had been holding leaked out of him as he sighed, “I missed you too.” He scooped both of Simon’s hands into his own and held them tight. “I’m so sorry about today. I wish I could—”

But Simon pressed his forehead into Wille’s, shaking his head. “Can we not talk about it please?”

Wille paused for a moment before saying, “Sure. Whatever you need.”

“Can you just… Can you just hold me?”

“Of course.” Wille manoeuvred himself onto Simon’s deck chair, slipping himself behind Simon and bracketing him with his legs. Simon readjusted the blanket and leant back so that he was pressed against Wille’s chest, head tucked beneath his chin.

Wille was filled with an overwhelming feeling of contentment, which was jostling for space alongside the profound sense of dread that had settled in his chest for most of the day.

“What happens now?” Simon whispered.

Wille wrapped his arms around Simon even tighter. “I’m not sure,” he said, and paused for a moment before adding, “I spoke to Annemarie.”

Simon’s questioning hum vibrated through Wille’s chest. 

“She didn’t do it. It was all August.”

The silence stretched between them, tension pulling at Wille’s heartstrings until he wasn’t sure he could take it any more.

“I guess it won’t make any difference now,” Simon said. 

The flatness in his voice made a lump form in Wille’s throat. “I— I think Felice is running out of options. But we can fight against the criminal record now that we know that August fabricated it. We can—”

“Wille.” Simon’s voice sounded tired. “Just… leave it. He’s got us for the contract breach anyway. No point in making it worse. It’s easier if I just… go. Hopefully it will mean he drops it and doesn’t raise anything against you.”

Instead of responding, Wille just held Simon closer, stroking his hands up and down Simon’s arms.

After a while, Simon spoke again. “Will I have to leave tomorrow?” His voice was small and it made Wille’s heart clench in his chest.

“No,” he said, more firmly than was probably needed. “Felice said she won’t let him kick you off.”

“But when you’ve been fired don’t you have to leave at the next port? Won’t they fly me ho—”

“Not you,” Wille said. “I promise. I won’t let him.”

Simon remained silent in Wille’s arms and worry crept in around the edges of Wille’s determination. “Unless… unless you don’t want to stay? Unless you’d rather disembark tomorrow?”

The silence stretched even further and Wille wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be filling it or not. Eventually, Simon said, “No, I’d like to stay. Just for a bit longer. Even if I’m not working. I want to— I suppose there was always a chance I was going to go anyway, wasn’t there? I don’t know why today’s made it…” He trailed off, skimming his hands along Wille’s forearms and wrapping them around himself, holding Wille closer to him.

Wille thought he knew what Simon was trying to say, but knew that his interpretation was coloured by the fact that he wanted nothing more than for Simon to stay on board the ship. Selfishly, he wanted Simon to stay here forever, he wanted them to sail several circumferences of the world together. 

But they couldn’t do that. Even without Simon getting fired, he’d never wanted to stay. Wille had never been enough for him to—

Simon shifted onto his side and burrowed himself even further into Wille’s chest. Wille’s heart soared and shattered at the same time. He’d never been in love like this before. He’d never had someone shift his world so monumentally that he couldn’t imagine his life without them. Slowly, Simon’s arms wrapped around his waist as he clung to Wille, face pressed into his chest, shoulders rising and falling with stunted breaths that sounded like they were fending off tears.

“I’m going to miss you,” Simon mumbled into Wille’s shirt.

The wind whipped around their heads, almost snatching Simon’s words away. But Wille heard them, felt them down to his very bones.

“I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered into Simon’s hair. “I love you.”

Wille thought the patch of his shirt where Simon’s face was pressed felt slightly damp as Simon murmured, “I love you too.”

They lay tangled together for so long that Wille lost all concept of time. All he knew was that the deck had been empty of other people for a while, and the air was getting even more biting. “We should head back inside,” he whispered, loath to break the calm that had settled over them. 

The shake of Simon’s head was almost imperceptible. “Just a little longer,” he said.

Carefully he rolled over so that he could look up into Wille’s face. “We could watch the stars, for a little bit. If you’d like?”

Wille felt the grin spread on his lips, welcome after the day they’d had. “Better than a planetarium show?”

Simon’s responding smile was worth a slight shiver and a crick in the neck. 

Shuffling around to get comfy, Simon slid down beside Wille, curling slightly into his side. Wille watched as Simon rearranged the blanket, hugging it snugly around them both before tilting his head up to the sky.

After a moment, Simon said, “You’re not looking.”

Smiling, Wille turned his head upwards. “Yes, I am.”

Simon’s chuckle shook their deck chair and Wille pulled his arms tighter around him.

Several minutes passed with neither of them saying anything before Simon broke the silence. “What will happen with us?” He continued to gaze upwards, not meeting Wille’s eye.

Wille didn’t respond right away, although he’d thought about it a lot. “What do you want to happen?”

Lips pressing into a thin line, Simon hesitated. “I— I don’t know.”

Shifting fully onto his side so that he could look down at Simon, Wille said, earnestly, “Whatever you want to do, I’ll do. No pressure at all. I— I don’t want to stop seeing you, stop speaking to you. But it’ll be hard and… I don’t expect that from you. I just—”

Simon’s hand had lifted out of the blanket and came up to trace along Wille’s cheekbone. Eyelashes fluttering shut, Wille leant into the touch, revelling in the way Simon’s warm fingers felt against his cool skin.

“I don’t want to stop speaking to you either. But… how will that work?”

Wille raised his hand to link his fingers with Simon’s. “Signal is patchy, but we have phones. I’m always contactable when we port.”

“Will you come and visit?” Simon’s voice was wobbly and Wille could feel his own tears pressing at the backs of his eyes.

Reaching down, Wille pulled Simon into a fierce hug, crushing their bodies together. “Of course,” he said. “Every opportunity I get. I promise.”

When they finally broke apart, wet tracks stained both of their cheeks. 

“I didn’t expect to fall in love,” Simon sobbed. “I don’t want— I’m going to miss you so much.”

Wille’s hands cupped both of Simon’s cheeks. “I’m going to miss you too. Every moment, I will think of you.”

Everything was pressing in on Wille, all the pressures and stresses and worries, it was all too much to bear. And these last weeks, he’d had some respite from it all. He hadn’t realised how grey his life had been until Simon had come tumbling in in full technicolour, making everything feel brighter. 

Simon’s eyes were bright and wet and wide and so, so beautiful and it was all too much. So Wille lurched forwards again, dragging Simon into a desperate hug. And he held him, and stroked his hair, and whispered that everything would be alright; whilst deep down wondering if anything would feel alright ever again.

SIMON

For several moments after he woke, Simon wasn’t sure why his head was stuffy and his chest felt weighed down. All he was aware of was the all encompassing warmth surrounding him, both physically and emotionally, from the strong arms wrapped across his chest. 

Wille had clung to him in the night, and was holding on now as if he never wanted to let go. As the previous day’s events came flooding back to him, Simon remembered why. He remembered them sobbing and clinging to each other up on the deck, stumbling back to Wille’s cabin and kissing and crying and holding one another until they fell into a slumber.

There was no window in Wille’s cabin, and they were too far into the interior of the ship to be able to hear the port, but Simon thought by now he could tell the differing motion when they were docked compared to out at sea. Simon’s eyes were drawn to Wille’s frog plushie, which was sitting on the bedside table; shiny, black eyes watching as Simon stroked his hand along Wille’s arm.

Simon was supposed to have a day off today, he had been planning on whisking Wille away for a day in Barcelona. He wanted to go and do all the touristy things, holding hands and kissing on the tree lined streets; wanted to watch Wille butcher his Spanish, only to discover Simon’s Catalan was almost as bad; wanted to spend a day in the sun pretending that this was forever, even though they both knew it wasn’t.

But forever felt even further away now as Simon's chest constricted, the memory of yesterday’s tears stinging his eyes. By the time they’d got to the bottom of everything, nothing had really changed. Simon was still leaving in two weeks, which there had always been a chance of, whether that was for the end of his contract, or because he’d been fired. But having the choice taken away felt brutal in its finality.

Wille’s breath was deep and slow, peaceful in the moments before waking. Burrowing further into Wille’s embrace, Simon tried to shut out the thoughts that had been plaguing him since August had first threatened them. He was embarrassed to have been found breaking his contract, and frustrated that he’d not done more to defend himself once August pulled them up on it, and disgusted that August had sunk to such depths to get him fired. 

But most of all he was just deeply, painfully sad that he was going to lose Wille. This wonderful, beautiful, ridiculous man that he’d fallen so hard and so fast for. 

Before the tears could start falling again, Simon turned around in Wille’s arms and nudged their noses together. If they only had two weeks left together, he was going to make them count.

Simon’s plan was scuppered at breakfast, however, where they’d been enjoying a leisurely coffee and pastries, Wille having cancelled his day once again to spend it with Simon. 

“Wille.” Felice looked harassed as she strode over to their table. “Morning, Simon,” she threw at him before turning her back again. “Wille…”

“What?” Wille said, lowering his mug. “What is it? I double-checked that I wasn’t leaving anyone hanging if I don’t—”

“No, it’s not that. Or well, that’s the least of your worries. Wille, your mum’s here.”

Wille pushed his chair back abruptly. “What?” he said, his tone clipped and harsh. Simon could see Wille’s breaths coming more quickly in the rise and fall of his chest. “What’s she doing here? She wasn’t supposed to— Where is she?”

“She’s in your office,” Felice said. “I think… I think she found out what happened and has come to—”

“She’s come to make sure I’m not tarnishing the reputation of the fucking company. Unbelievable.” Wille’s face had gone hard, his mouth a thin line and the crease between his brows was so deep that Simon wanted to caress it until it disappeared. 

“She just said that she wants to speak to you. Alone.” Felice now turned to Simon, sending him what he hoped was an apologetic look, but felt a little too close to pity.

Simon turned his attention back to Wille, who was looking at him with a fierce expression on his face. “If you want to come with me, you can. I want you to be there.” Then, when Simon didn’t immediately respond, he added, “There’s nothing she can say to me that I don’t want you to hear. You don’t have to, but—”

“Okay,” Simon interrupted. “I mean, she sounds fucking terrifying, no offence” - Wille gave a humourless laugh - “but I’ll come.”

Nodding, Wille addressed Felice. “I know you’re just delivering her message. But I’m not going without Simon.”

Holding up her hands, Felice shook her head. “Nothing to do with me any more,” she said. “I fulfilled my carrier pigeon duties.” She leant over to squeeze Wille’s shoulder. “But please try to not get me fired too.”

Wille laughed and stood up to hug her. “I won’t. She fucking loves you, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, only because she thinks you’ll marry me one day. Contract loophole or not. I’m not sure what she’ll think of me once you tell her you have no intention of ever looking at anyone except—”

“Felice.” Wille’s tone was warning. Simon felt his heart soar and then plummet immediately afterwards. They really were in a mess weren’t they?

The walk to Wille’s office was quiet. Wille gripped Simon’s hand hard, and Simon clung back equally feverishly. Just before he pushed open the office door, Wille turned to Simon. 

“Before we go in there, I want you to know that I love you.”

“I know,” Simon said. “I love you too.”

“And I want you to know that I’ll do everything in my power to protect you. And I know that you’re leaving and I’m staying. But we can work it out. I know we can.”

Simon wished he had some of Wille’s confidence, but looking in his eyes, Simon wondered if it was more desperation. And a need to hope that it would work. Because it not working was too painful a thought to bear.

“I know,” Simon said. “We can. We will.” Okay, so maybe he could blindly wish too.

Cupping his hands around Simon’s cheeks, Wille dragged him in for a long, desperate kiss, before pulling back, taking a deep breath through his nose, and opening his office door.

Kristina was sitting behind Wille’s desk, hands folded in front of her, a severe look on her face.

“Wilhelm,” she said, as Wille gestured for Simon to sit in the one remaining seat. “I would like to speak to you alone.”

“No, Mum. I want Simon here. I know it’s to do with him. So you can talk to both of us or not at all.”

The breath that came out of Kristina’s nose was short and sharp. “Really, Wilhelm,” she tutted. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is a highly sensitive conversation regarding Simon’s conduct at work. It is inappropriate for him to be present.”

“But he didn’t do it,” Wille said. “August made it up.”

Kristina raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t assault a guest? Or he didn’t sleep with his superior for increased chances of promotion.”

Feeling his blood boil, Simon opened his mouth to retort, but Wille held up his hand to stop him. Simon nearly snapped at him too, but Wille started speaking. “He did neither of those things.”

That seemed to surprise Kristina, her shoulders dropped slightly and her eyebrows raised as she said, “So he has not seduced you?”

Wille looked about ready to explode, his face was red and Simon could see his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“Simon and I are in a mutual, consensual relationship,” he said, through gritted teeth.

Grim satisfaction painted Kristina’s lips as she leaned back slightly in her chair. “So you admit that he has broken the rules.”

“If he has, so have I,” Wille said, quickly. “He has done nothing wrong. I’m not his direct supervisor, I have no control over his job, we just… fell in love.”

When Wille turned to face him with the softest smile on his face, Simon felt his own heart melt a little. 

Kristina’s scoff broke the moment and made Simon turn to face her again. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Wilhelm.”

“You’ve said that to him twice already,” Simon said, trying his hardest to keep his voice level even through the ringing in his ears. “Do you not trust your son to make his own decisions?”

“Not when he makes such foolish ones,” she snapped, glaring at Simon. “He has an image to uphold. A job to do. And you are ruining it for him.”

“Excuse me?” Simon said, narrowing his eyes at her. “And what is it about me that ruins your family’s image?”

Kristina opened and closed her mouth a few times before sniffing and saying, “It is inappropriate to have relationships with the staff.”

“Our relationship has not affected our ability to do our jobs at all!” Wille cried. “Simon has been an exemplary employee. We’ve had nothing but glowing feedback from the guests, he’s shown up for every shift, barring illness, he’s—”

“He’s had an assault accusation made against him. I hardly think that counts as exemplary.”

“And it was fabricated,” Wille snapped, “as we’ve already established. I’m sure the guest in question can vouch for the fact that August set this whole thing up.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Kristina said, looking slightly ruffled for the first time. A cold feeling spread in Simon’s chest as he realised that nothing they say might make any difference at all.

“Because you know it’s slander,” Wille said. “So why are you here? What is this?”

“I’m here to make sure the correct action is taken against an employee who has been accused of several fireable offences. Which means he is to leave this ship. Immediately.” The cold feeling made it to the tips of Simon’s fingers and he reached his hand out to Wille, who took it without hesitation.

“Because you don’t trust me? Or you don’t trust August? Or because you just take great delight in ruining my life?”

“Wilhelm,” she huffed. “Will you stop acting like a child?”

Wille threw his free hand in the air. “Will you stop treating me like one? This has already been sorted without your interference. Simon will not be charged with anything, August thinks he’s got him with this contract breach, but he hasn’t. Simon is choosing to not fight him on it, mainly to protect me. Because if August fires Simon, he should be firing me too.”

“I would not allow that,” Kristina said. 

Simon felt something falter in his chest. A flicker of hope that maybe—

“You wouldn’t allow Simon to be fired?” Wille sounded equally as blindsided as he was.

Kristina scoffed. “Oh, no. Simon is already fired. I want him off my ship. I will not allow you to be fired.”

Wille’s face turned thunderous. “That’s unfair.”

“Life is unfair, Wilhelm.”

“Wille…” Simon said under his breath. When Wille turned to him, it was with blazing eyes that took Simon aback for a moment. But then he gathered himself enough to say, “There’s no point getting yourself in more trouble.”

“Listen to him, Wilhelm.”

Simon was just about to snap back at her to mind her own business when Wille roared, “No! You listen to me! This man is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will not let you abuse your power and force him to leave when he has done nothing wrong.”

The drumming of Simon’s heart against his ribcage should have been loud enough to be heard across the room, but he just squeezed Wille’s hand and hoped that was enough. 

Kristina’s smile was cold and emotionless. “Wilhelm, this has gone on long enough. Simon must be off this ship by noon. I have arranged transportation home for him, as is expected, and the cost will be taken out of his final salary.”

“But—” Simon could hear the panic in Wille’s voice.

“And if I hear either of you have done anything to disobey my orders, I will see that he never works again. Do you hear me?”

Standing up, Kristina smoothed down the front of her skirt. “Now if you will excuse me, I have been pulled out of a very important conference to deal with this nonsense. I expect to hear from you this evening, Wilhelm.”

And with that, she strode from the room without even a goodbye. 

The silence in her wake hung in the air for a few moments before Wille collapsed into the recently vacated chair with a groan. “Simon, I’m so sorry. She’s always been… but that was just…”

“Wille, it’s fine.” It was anything but fine, and the clenching in Simon’s chest was close to painful. But admitting that wasn’t helpful to anyone right now. All that mattered was that Kristina seemed to think she had the power to ruin both of their lives, and Simon wasn’t willing to put that to the test. So he and Wille had— He looked at the clock on the wall.

“I’d better go and pack,” Simon said in a shaky voice.

“Simon…”

Simon offered him a wobbly smile. “No point in delaying it right?”

When Wille offered him his hand, Simon took it and clung on, trudging through the corridors of the ship without really paying attention to anything. Suddenly, he seemed to be able to sense time slipping past, every beat of his heart a moment closer to the inevitable. 

He hadn’t brought many belongings with him. Carefully, he layered his clothes back into his case, exchanging ‘thank you’s and ‘over there’s with Wille as they skirted around each other, folding his uniform and placing it in a neat pile on his bed.

“I’ll make sure it gets back where it’s supposed to go,” Wille said.

Simon nodded, not sure what else he was supposed to say.

When the last items were pressed into his bag, Simon turned in the small space to face Wille. “So,” he said, trying to sound like his chest wasn’t almost too tight to breathe. “This is it.”

Wille nodded, eyes already shining with tears. “I’m so sorry, Simon,” he blurted. “I wish I could have—”

Taking a step forward, Simon pressed his fingers gently over Wille’s mouth. “Shh,” he said, shaking his head. “None of that. Everything was stacked against us. It would never— It was… it was good. Right?”

Wille nodded, and Simon removed his hand so that he could speak. “It was the best. Simon, this has been the best few weeks of my life. I don’t— How can I—” The tears started falling down his cheeks in rivulets, dripping off his chin onto their feet. “Simon— I’m going to miss you so much.”

Pulling Wille towards him, Simon crashed their bodies together in a fierce hug. “I’m going to miss you too,” he mumbled into Wille’s shoulder.

Wille’s sobs were loud and racked his whole body. When it seemed he couldn’t tug Simon close enough, he leant back, hands on either side of Simon’s face and pulled their lips together. The kiss was filled with snot and tears and so much love. Simon could feel it tattooing itself on his heart along with Wille breaking away periodically to mutter, “I love you,” directly into Simon’s mouth.

When they started running the risk of never leaving this room, Simon gripped Wille’s upper arms and pushed him away.

“Wille…” he said, knowing his face looked just as wet, and raw, and devastated as Wille’s did. “I have to go. I should probably go on my own. I don’t trust myself not to cause a scene.” His chuckle didn’t do anything to ease the pain in Wille’s expression.

Nodding, Wille sniffed and cupped Simon’s face. “I’ll miss you,” he said, voice ragged and heartbroken. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The words tore something from deep inside Simon, and he hoped it wasn’t something unfixable.

“I promise, I promise we will do everything we can to see each other again. I—” But Wille couldn’t finish his sentence, he just placed one last hard kiss on Simon’s mouth, and whispered another, “I love you.”

Outside the cabin, Felice was waiting.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her face sombre. “I’ve got to take you upstairs now.”

Simon nodded, squeezing Wille’s hand one last time. They didn’t say a word as their fingers slipped apart and Simon began walking away.

Each step felt painful, a dread settling in his bones as the realisation solidified that this was it. They could make all the promises in the world, but he knew there was a good chance he would never see Wille again. There was a good chance this would have all been a whirlwind romance that he reminisced about in years to come. I wonder what happened to him? I wonder if he remembers me? I wonder if he’s happy? 

Felice remained silent as they made their way up to the main deck and the exit. When they got there she turned and laid a grim hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry about how all this happened, Simon. I really am.”

“I know,” he said. “Will you… make sure he’s okay?”

“I promise.” He watched as she faltered for a moment before wrapping him in a hug. “Thank you for everything, Simon. I hope we’ve not ruined anything for you.”

He laughed weakly. “This has certainly been an experience.”

“He’ll be okay, I think,” she said as she pulled back. 

Simon wasn’t so sure, but he nodded to stop himself from crying. “Bye, Felice.”

She sent him a small smile. “Bye, Simon. Safe travels.”

Taking a deep breath, he grasped the handle of his case and began walking down the gangway to the dockside. 

The walk to the terminal felt neverending, every step felt like a chore, his heart clenching uncomfortably in his chest as he tried not to cry. He was just approaching the gates when he heard a voice that made him turn.

“Simon!” 

Wille was running full tilt down the gangway; clattering and clanking, hair flying everywhere.

“Simon! Wait!”

Heart pounding, Simon watched as Wille sped towards him, not daring to hope that— what? Had Wille managed to get him his job back? Or at least convinced them to let him stay aboard until they got back home?

Once Wille was in front of him, he had to pause for a moment to catch his breath. 

Time seemed to have stopped as Simon waited for Wille to straighten up, looking fiercely at him.

“I— I don’t want to do it any more,” Wille said, eyes shining.

Stomach dropping, Simon shook his head. Why would Wille run all this way just to break off the very tentative connection they were hoping to maintain?

“What? What do you mean?”

“The ship. This life. I don’t want it any more.”

Oh. 

Simon shook his head. “Okay,” he said. “What… what does that mean?”

“It means I quit. It means they can’t fucking fire me because I’m gone. It means they can figure it out without me.”

“But… how?” Simon felt sick, the adrenaline in his bloodstream starting to take its toll.

“Not my problem any more.” Wille looked angry, and determined, and… a little bit mischievous. It made something warm start to bloom in Simon’s chest, pushing away all the cold dread that had settled over him.

“But your mother—”

“Is currently throwing a strop at Felice. But it’s fine. Felice can hold her own. She might even get a promotion out of it. And unlike me, she actually wants this job.”

“Wille… I don’t understand. You’ve… quit?”

Grinning, Wille nodded. 

“Why?”

“Because I hated it. I’ve always hated it. It’s never been me. But I didn’t realise that I had a choice. Until I met you.”

Panicking slightly, Simon shook his head. “You can’t quit your job and leave your whole life behind for me, Wille.”

“It’s not for you. And that’s not my life.” He gestured over his shoulder at the ship. “I want to build my own life somewhere. Anywhere!” Wille let out a giddy laugh. “I’ve been everywhere, but I’ve never been able to go just anywhere before.”

Wille’s joy was infectious. Simon found himself laughing along, and before he knew it, Wille had bundled him into his arms and was holding him close, breathing him in.

“I love you, Simon.”

“I love you too.”

Leaning back, Wille looked into his eyes. “If this is too much, if you need some space for a while, if you want to keep it as just a temporary thing, we can—”

Simon shut him up with a kiss; fierce and quick. “I don’t need space. I don’t want it to be a temporary thing.”

He dived back in, plunging his hands into Wille’s hair and holding him close. The emotions coursing through his veins threatened to overwhelm him. But for once, he didn’t care. He wanted to be overwhelmed. He wanted to drink up every feeling, every moment, every touch, every word. He wanted to be surrounded by this joy, this excitement, this love. 

Wille’s arms were strong where they wrapped around him, his smile was radiant, his mouth eager. And he felt like home. 

After a while, Simon moved back, rubbing their noses together. “So… anywhere?” Simon asked.

Wille’s smile was gleeful and unhindered and beautiful. “Anywhere. With you,” Wille answered, stepping back and holding out his hand.

“Where first then?” It was difficult to get the words out with how wide they were grinning at each other.

“Well,” Wille said, “I thought I might take my boyfriend on a date in Barcelona?” 

“Boyfriend, huh?” Simon tried to raise an eyebrow but dissolved into laughter immediately. “He’s a lucky guy.”

“No,” Wille said, simply. “I am.”

Simon squeezed his hand and tugged him towards the gates. “We both are.”

“I can take that,” Wille said, and they strolled away from the ship, hand in hand, with full hearts and a whole lifetime of ‘anywhere’s waiting for them.