Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After going on too many investigations with Ranpo to count, Atsushi learned three things. 

None of it had anything to do with actually investigating of course. Atsushi still had no idea about hair samples or fingerprints or whatever Ranpo was going to use as evidence for his insane deductions. 

Atsushi did however learn a lot about Ranpo.

Firstly he learned to always keep something sugary on his person so the detective could have a little pick-me-up any time he needed. Ranpo got grumpy without sugar and he often refused to take cases until he had some. It was just easier to have something on hand to keep Ranpo from leaving crime scenes due to being hungry. 

Secondly, he learned that Ranpo had no sense of direction outside of a case. Ranpo could point out how far away a victim was from their house or regular grocery store and how odd it was that they were in a place unfamiliar to them. But the moment after a case was done he was lost once again. Most of the time literally. 

Most cases someone was sent with Ranpo to make sure he didn't travel outside the country again. Even then Ranpo could usually entertain himself with the local authorities until the agency could send for him.

Thirdly, suspicious people showed up around Ranpo and nine times out of ten they wanted to hurt the detective. Which was the second reason why someone was supposed to chaperone the detective. 

The last lesson was at the forefront of Atsushi’s mind as he caught sight of a man who was peering out from an alleyway watching the active crime scene from afar. 

The man's hair covered his eyes but Atsushi could see the smile on his face as he presumably watched the crime scene… If he could see anything through that mop of hair. 

Atsushi squinted at the man, he had on an odd hat, and if Atsushi's track record with guys with hats was anything to go by this guy was bad news. The weretiger took a step back and turned to Ranpo, who was busy berating an officer for interrupting him. 

Ranpo glanced at Atsushi and paused mid-rant, finger still raised at the offending police man. The detective looked past Atsushi and spotted the man. 

Ranpo raised an eyebrow and broke out into a grin. Atsushi imagined he could see sparkles with how much Ranpo had brightened. 

“Poe!” Ranpo shouted, completely turning away from the police officer. “Come over here, stop hiding in the shadows you’re scaring people!”

Poe, Atsushi assumed, jumped and slowly slunk out from the allway. Ranpo bounced on his heels as the man approached. He had the same look on his face as when someone was handing him candy. 

Now that Poe was closer Atsushi could see his outfit better. He was wearing mostly black except for the off-white suit jacket and undershirt he wore. He also got a better look at Poe’s…

Hat?

Atsushi’s eyes went wide as he realized the man was not in fact wearing a strange raccoon-like hat on his head but an actual live raccoon. 

The police around them had similar reactions to Atsushi. One step in front of the armed detective agency members. “This is a police investigation, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” 

Ranpo laughed and patted the officer’s shoulder a little harder than necessary. “Relax he’s with me as well,” he said, slipping past the officer to approach Poe who had taken a step back when the officer spoke to him. 

The raccoon on top of Poe’s head cooed as Ranpo approached and held a clawed hand out. Ranpo reached into his pocket and pulled out an orange that he immediately started to peel. 

“Now back to what I was saying. It was obviously her ex-boyfriend.” Ranpo gestured at the corpse of a young woman on the ground. “Strangulation is usually a crime of passion,” he said, handing the raccoon a slice of the orange. “You’ll find he was jealous of her new lover, the guy who reported the body. He lied about his relationship with her so he wouldn’t be under suspicion and could leave to kill the man who killed her.”

Ranpo turned on his heel to the police. “Who he is en route to kill now at,” Ranpo paused. “Ed, where is that cafe we went to last week?”

Poe, or now Ed’s smile grew. “Coelacanth ave. Bean Hive Cafe,” he said, preening after he was asked a question. 

Ranpo nodded. “That’s where he’ll be! It was a spot they both went on dates with her. So,” Ranpo opened his eyes to catch the highest-ranking officer in his gaze, “why don’t you boys go do your jobs and prevent another murder.”

Four of the five officers took off towards their car, shouting street addresses to each other. 

The last officer looked from the body to see Ranpo locked in an internal battle before making the decision to not bother with the detectives, stepping aside and pulling out his phone.

Atsuhi looked from the officer back to Ranpo who was once again feeding the raccoon on Poe’s head. Poe, still smiling, had leaned over so that Ranpo could reach the raccoon more easily. Ranpo was making cooing noises which the raccoon responded to with its own chittering. 

“Ah, Ranpo?” Atsushi questioned. 

Ranpo hummed and looked over to his coworker. “Yes?”

“Who is-”

“Edgar Allen Poe,” Ranpo interrupted. The raccoon chittered, almost sounding annoyed. “And Karl,” Ranpo added, gesturing to the raccoon who preened just like its owner under the attention. “They used to work for the guild.”

Atsushi choked on his breath, his muscles tensing as he prepared to fight. “The guild! Ranpo should we-”

“Relax Atsushi! Poe’s harmless,” he said with a smirk. “ Aren't you?” he asked the taller man. 

Poe’s smile dropped as he fidgeted with his jacket. “Ranpo I would hardly-,” he started to say.

“Harmless!” Ranpo shouted over him, clapping a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “He’s just a writer and he was in charge of the guild's finances. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Poe’s frown deepened. “Ranpo- '' he began again but Ranpo shushed him. 

Atsushi glanced between the two, untimely deciding it wasn’t worth it. “It’s good to meet one of Ranpo's friends,” he said hesitantly. 

“I am not Ranpo’s friend, I'm his rival,” Poe stated. 

Atsushi blinked. “Come again?”

“He’s my rival,” Ranpo confirmed and pointed at Poe for extra emphasis. 

Upon hearing those words Poe’s smile returned to his face. “Oh Ranpo,” he gushed, “How good it is to hear that.”

Ranpo leaned against Poe's side and blinked up at him. “Good enough to take me to that cafe again?” he asked. 

“I assume they would have it shut down for the arrest,” Poe murmured, looking away from the detective.

Ranpo kicked at the ground, “Aw you’re right Ed. Take me somewhere new then, with lots of sweets!”

Poe looks over to Atsushi. “What about your friend, the tiger boy?”

“How did you know that?” Atsushi asked. 

“I was a part of the guild, I've been informed on every member of your agency,” Poe said. “In fact I-”

Ranpo elbowed him softly and Poe cleared his throat. 

Atsushi nodded at him once again, deciding it wasn’t worth it to ask. “Well, it is nice to meet you and Karl.” 

He looked at Ranpo and tilted his head. Ranpo opened his eyes only so Atsushi could see he was rolling them. 

Atsushi nodded and spoke again, “As long as you can get Ranpo back to the agency I’ll leave you two alone.”

Ranpo nudged Poe again. “You can get me back right.”

“Yes, Ranpo.”

“Yes! I've been wanting to ask you about that new story of yours!” Ranpo cheered. 

“Of course dear,” Poe whispered so that only Ranpo and Atsushi with his tiger abilities could hear.

“Come here you,” Ranpo muttered, reaching for Karl. Poe bent down again so Ranpo could successfully reach the raccoon who happily curled up on the detective's shoulder. 

“Have fun Ranpo!” Atushi said, waving as the two walked away. 

“Are you sure that guys are harmless?” 

Atsushi turned to the police officer in question. “Sure he is, if Ranpo was actually in danger he would have signaled to me. Besides, why would Ranpo lie?”

Chapter Text

“I’ll have a coffee with ten espresso shots,” Dazi said, holding up eight fingers.

The waitress blinked and took her pen off the pad of paper she held. “I’m sorry sir the limit is four. It’s a health hazard.”

Dazi huffed and laid his head on the table. “How sad,” he whined, “I wanted to see how fast my heart could go before it burst.”

The waitress nodded slowly and glanced back to the kitchen behind her mapping out her escape. “Is four ok?”

Dazi sighed, picking his head off the table to lean closer to the waitress. He smiled up at her and batted his eyelashes. “It will be if a lovely lady such as yourself commits double suicide with me.”

The waitress took a step back and gave her most fake customer service smile. “I’ll be right back with your order sir,” she said and quickly jogged back to the kitchen.

Dazi didn’t bother replying, instead, he lifted his head to look at the other patrons of the coffee shop. While he would normally only go to Café Uzumaki they were closed for renovations.

Renovations meaning Atsushi had gotten thrown through the window again during a fight and they were still picking up glass from the floor. Dazai specifically wasn't allowed near sharp objects which unfortunately included broken glass.

Nothing was interesting enough to entertain him while he waited. The other patrons were minding their own business. Dazai could always make his own entertainment but opted to just keep his head on the table. He actually wanted coffee and didn’t feel like getting kicked out for causing a scene. Or more of a scene than he already had.

Behind him, the door opened with a little jingle. Dazai listened as hurried steps followed by someone else stumbling behind the other approached him.

Ranpo slid into the booth across from him, dragging another man by the arm to sit as well. Dazi picked his head up to get a better look at the new person in front of him.

Hair covered half of his face leaving only one gray eye exposed. He was wearing gothic attire with layers upon layers. Dazai wondered if he was perpetually cold or just committed to the aesthetic. Dazai assumed the latter since the man also had a live raccoon sleeping on his shoulders.

“Dazai,” Ranpo pointed at him. “Poe,” he said, pointing at the other man. “You can both can figure the rest out.'' He let go of Poe’s arm and waved at the kitchen area. “Hello can someone take my order over here I haven't had sugar in an hour and-”

Dazai tuned the detective out and locked eyes with the other man.

Poe’s eyes were cold and tired. He had dark eye bags that bore a large resemblance with the raccoon on his shoulders. It was a good idea on his part to hide his eyes, Dazai considered, they portrayed too much emotion.

Dazi leaned back in the booth as he continued the staring contest, “I didn’t know you were making friends with guild members Ranpo.”

Poe sat up straight, his visible eye wide. “I-”

“Only these two,” Ranpo said, continuing to wave at the waitress who looked as though she was going to throw Dazis hot coffee in Ranpos face. “Besides they’re not part of the guild anymore.”

The waitress set the coffee in front of Dazi and whipped out her pen and pad. “Yes sir?” she asked, teeth clenched.

Ranpo grinned. “Two hot chocolates and a bowl of water.”

The waitress nodded. Dazi laughed as she walked away briskly without any questions. “Where did you pick him up?”

“We met at a crime scene six years ago,” Ranpo said. Poe lowered his eyes and the raccoon, now awake after Ranpos shouting, moved to stare at Dazi in its owner's stead. Its eyes, however, unlike its owner, betrayed nothing. “He almost beat me,” Ranpo said with a soft smile.

Dazi laughed, “Well Edgar.” Poe startled, causing his raccoon to slip and look away from Dazai to smack its owner. “It’s always good to meet a rival of Ranpo.”

“I am his only rival,” Poe spoke for the first time in Dazai's presence.

Dazi shifted so he could lean on the table and get a better look at the two men. “Oh?”

“The only one worth any merit,” he turned his nose up as he spoke and Ranpo giggled.

Poe fixed his gaze back on Dazai, he considered him for a second. Dazai recognized a spark of recognition in the former guild member's eye as Poe tilted his head and smirked. “It is good to meet an enemy of Chuuya Nakahara.”

Dazai raised an eyebrow. “Going from the guild to the port mafia then?”

Poe shook his head. “No, Ranpo trapped him in one of my books. We talked after he freed himself and came to an understanding. We have some common interests.”

Ranpo laughed, reaching up to take the raccoon from Poe's shoulders, his hands lingering on Poe’s shoulders just slightly longer than needed. “You make it sound scary Ed,” he turned to Dazai. “It’s poetry and wine.”

The bandaged man slapped the table, wheezing. “You’re telling me that Chuuya Nakahara, the great and scary gravity manipulator, likes poetry!”

Poe frowned and looked away from Dazai. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. And that isn’t even the whole story. It took quite a while for us to even reach that point. I nearly died. He was quite upset with me.”

Ranpo patted him on the shoulder.

Dazai slowly recovered from his laughing fit, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. “Oh, the verbal ammo you’ve given me today. Oh, I like you, Poe. You seem like the kind of guy who’d know how to kill yourself in some pretty twisted ways.” Dazai began to rock back and forth in the booth. “Ooh, come on, give me some ideas!”

Poe shifted and turned to Ranpo. Ranpo looked back and turned the raccoon so they were both staring at him. “Come on Ed, give us something twisted,” the detective whispered, a gleam in his eyes he only opened to look at the writer.

In an instant Poe’s posture changed, he went from bent over to ramrod straight as the two looked into each other's eyes. Poe slowly turned to Dazi. “Knife swallowing. You may get lucky and they will not harm you but eventually one will pierce your organs and you will die slowly and painfully.”

“Urg,” Dazi groaned, “too painful but it is new. I’ll give you points for that.”

“If you’re looking for something nonpainful the best way would most likely be a type of overdose. If you know what to use and the correct dose of course.”

Dazai nodded. “And you would know all about that would you now?”

“Of course.” Poe suddenly flinched when Ranpo pinched his side. “Because I’m a writer.”

Dazai waved his hand at the pair. “Relax, I'm just teasing. Of course, a writer would know this stuff.”

Poe’s posture relaxed again and a different waitress set two mugs of hot chocolate on the table followed by a bowl of water. The raccoon chirped, wriggling in Ranpos arms to try to get away and reach the table.

“Will that be all sirs,” she said, almost too quietly to hear.

“Yep, bye!” Ranpo exclaimed, letting go of the raccoon and waving her away.

The new waitress quickly made her retreat back to the kitchen area leaving the three men and raccoon alone again.

“What's his name?” Dazi asked.

“Karl,” Poe responded, now holding his hot chocolate away from Karl's reaching paws.

“Cute,” Dazi said, picking up his coffee and chugging it in one go.

Chapter Text

Yosano enjoyed riding the train, even after the unfortunate events with the lemon bomber. She appreciated the fact she just sat in silence as the train took her exactly where she needed to go.

She could just watch people get on and off the train, imagining what their lives were like and where they were going. She enjoyed watching the scenery whip past. She especially enjoyed not having to deal with her coworkers for as long as the train ride took. She did love them but some of them were a little much at times. 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her muscles relaxed and her arms that were still wound around the bag of groceries in her lap dipped lower, almost letting go of the bag. The train's noises and peoples voices turned to static as she rolled her shoulders to relieve more of the tension that seemed to never fade from her body. 

“Yosano!"

Instantly all of her muscles tensed once again and her eyes snapped open. Ranpo was leaning over her and grinning. “Hi Yosano!”

She glanced behind Ranpo to see Edgar Allen Poe, a man she hoped she wouldn’t see again, trying to hide behind the smaller man and failing miserably. 

“You,” she hissed, pointing at Poe. 

Poe folded further into himself and brought the pet carrier he held closer to his chest. Ranpo laughed and nudged the writer beside him. “I see you remember Eddie.”

“Yes,” she muttered. Her fingers itched to open her medical bag and tear this man to pieces using anything she had inside.“Yes, I remember the man who trapped me inside a book and then killed me.” 

“Oh yeah he’s sorry about that,” Ranpo said, grabbing Poe’s shoulder and pulling him closer to Yosano. “Isn’t he?”

Poe nodded so quickly Yosano would be worried his head was going to come off if she cared. “Y-yes, Dr. Yosano. My deepest apologies. It will never happen again I swear it,” he spluttered profusely, shaking like a leaf. 

Yosano scoffed. “Sure,” she muttered and turned her glare to her coworker. “Ranpo what are you doing with him?”

“Taking Karl to the vet.” 

Yosano took a deep breath, summoning the strength to not punch her favorite coworker. “Who?”

Poe slowly held the pet carrier out to face her. Inside was a sleeping racoon. 

“Did you know chocolate is toxic to racoons?” Ranpo asked, patting the carrier gently. 

“I did,” Poe whispered mournfully. 

“The raccoon's name is Karl?”

“Yep! And we can not leave chocolate lying around cause he eats everything.” 

Yosano nodded slowly, processing the information . “When did you two become friends?”

“We are not friends, we’re rivals,” Poe said and pulled the carrier back to his chest. He cradled it gently as the only eye visible darted around anxiously. Ranpo nodded and smiled up at the taller man, patting him gently. 

She opened her mouth to say something but found she didn’t want to deal with however Ranpo wanted to qualify his relationships. “Rivals then,” she gestured at the two men. “I wouldn’t think that people would want to spend time with their rival?” 

“Well I-”

“Ed buys me candy and he isn’t an idiot.”

Yosano raised an eyebrow. “High praise from Mr. everyone's an idiot but me.”

Ranpo huffed. “You aren't an idiot either Yosano.” 

She smirked. “Thank you Ranpo. That makes one of us.”

Ranpo scoffed. “I-”

A soft chitter interrupted him. “Karl!” Ranpo shouted, startling the other train goers. 

Karl had woken up and was now touching the bars on the carrier inquisitively. Poe, who had also jumped at Ranpos' shout, was clutching the case with shaking hands. Karl, obviously displeased with the shaking, made another loud chirping noise. Ranpo leaned over to coo softly at him. 

Yosano raised an eyebrow at Poe when he looked at Ranpo and his racoon fondly. His shoulders relaxed and for the first time Yosano saw what must have been a genuine non evil smile from the writer. 

“Why is his name Karl?”

Poe looked up, thinking for a moment then he smiled. “He’s a free man,” he said just as Karl managed to pry open the carrier door and fly out onto the train floor, jumping at a passenger eating popcorn. 

Yosano wrapped her arms tightly around the grocery bags as Poe frantically ran after his pet with Ranpo close behind. While her peaceful train ride was a thing of the past she was content to watch two grown men chase a raccoon up and down the train car. 

Chapter Text

Kunikida glanced at the clock in the detective agency before he opened his notebook to check his schedule. It was 14:28 which means he had two minutes before he needed to check that Ranpo was writing his reports. At 14:34 he had scheduled scolding Ranpo for three minutes. Then from 14:37 to 15:37 he was scheduled to do his paperwork next to Ranpo and stare the detective down when he paused for more then ten seconds on the forms he needed to fill out. 

Kunikida pushed his chair away from his desk and placed his notebook into the pocket under his vest. He rolled his neck as he walked to the office Ranpo sometimes used, already feeling a tension headache beginning. 

He pushed open the door at 14:29, and was greeted to the sight of a strange man in Ranpo’s chair with the aforementioned detective sitting on the desk leaning over the man.

The man in Ranpo’s chair jolted and dropped the pen he was using to fill out the case report. 

Kunikida’s eye twitched as he stared at the stranger in the agency. 

Ranpo finally looked up, smiling brightly at his fellow detective. “Hey Kunikida,” he waved as he spoke, “is it that time of day again?”

“Ranpo, why is there a stranger in the building? Why is he filling out your paperwork? And how did he get in here without anyone noticing?” Kunikida’s voice rose with every question until he was shouting. “Who even is this guy and,” Kunikida paused to stare at the corner of the desk, “Is that a raccoon?”

There was in fact a racoon sitting on the corner of the desk happily munching on a cracker. 

“He was bringing me a book to read. He's better at paperwork than me and knows how to do the boring bits. He’s also got nicer handwriting so you’ll read the report a lot easier. You were in the cafe when he got here. Dazi noticed but I think he’s asleep now.” Ranpo grinned. “Lastly he is Edgar Allen Poe and the raccoon's name is Karl.”

Kunikida took a deep breath, taking another step into Ranpo’s office. He gently shut the door behind him and counted to ten in his head. “Ranpo,” he began trying to be as gentle as possible, “you can not have non agency members fill out paperwork for you.”

“Why not?”

Kunikida spluttered. “Because you can’t! And I still don’t know who this man is.”

Poe had begun to sink into himself the entire conversation and was now either trying to become one with the chair or slip out of it and onto the floor without anyone noticing. He wasn’t succeeding in either however and was instead just pushing himself away from the desk causing the chair to make a grating noise. 

Ranpo grabbed Poe’s shoulder, stopping him from furthering his retreat. “He’s my friend and he’s helping me with paperwork.”

“You still can’t-”

“We’ve gotten about half of it done,” Ranpo interrupted in a sing song voice. 

Kunikida’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. He blinked, opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for air. “H-half?” 

“Yep! I just detail the case and Poe writes everything down in the correct spots. He’s amazing isn’t he?”

Kunikida nodded to himself, thinking about the situation over again. “Alright,” he started slowly, “but I have a few more questions for your friend then.”

Ranpo nodded and pulled Poe closer to the desk by the chair. “Alright shoot!”

Poe shifted so that he was sitting upright in his seat. He was still bent over enough so that his hair covered all of his face. “Where did you and Ranpo meet?” Kunikida began. 

“A case.” Poe said and slowly lifted his head. He looked to Ranpo as if asking for confirmation. 

“A case?”

Poe ducked his head. “Yes?” he mumbled. 

Kunikida raised an eyebrow. “Was that a question?”

Poe lifted his head again and Kunikida caught sight of gray eyes before his hair covered the top half of his face. “No, we met six years ago and Ranpo beat me in a battle of wits between detectives.”

“That's a better answer. Why did you really come here?”

Poe's fidgeting increased and he turned to the window. He looked like he would prefer to jump out of it then continue talking. “Ranpo asked me to bring him one of my novels, he said he was bored.”

“And why are you doing his paperwork?”

“He asked me to help,” Poe reasoned.

“Do you do everything Ranpo asks you to do?” Kunikida asked, leaning over the desk now.

“I-”

“Thats what friends do Kunikida,” Ranpo whined. “Do you want us to finish this or do you want to keep interrogating my friend?”

“One more thing.” Kunikida held up a finger to Ranpo to shush him. “What is your current occupation and would you be willing to leave to work here?”

Poe choked on air, his face flushed red. “I-”

“Goodbye Kunikida!” Ranpo sang. Jumping off the desk to shoo the ex teacher out of his office. 

“It was not a joke! Please, I will pay you to watch him!” Kunikida shouted, struggling against Ranpo as the detective pushed him out of the office and shut the door. 

Dazai opened one eye to peer at Kunikida from his spot on the couch. “Did you just offer an ex-guild member a job?” 

“He’s a what?” Kunikida shouted and turned back to Ranpos' office, his fury reignited.

Chapter Text

“Slow down Kyouka!” Atsushi whispered urgently.

Kyouka ignored the weretiger and continued to run up the stairway. She reached the door at the top and stopped, turning to see if her companion was going to continue following her. Atsushi wheezed and climbed the last few steps to her. 

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be here,” Atsushi mumbled, pointing to the authorized personnel only sign.

Kyouka didn’t reply and instead opened the door slowly, peering into it before entering. 

It was dark in the room and the sound of the large clock ticking echoed throughout. Light filtered through the clock face and cast the room in a pale yellow. There was a machine connecting to the clock that was turning the hands. Kyouka stepped farther into the clock tower room, looking around in wonder. 

Atsushi smiled at her and gently closed the door behind him. “Kyouka-” 

“Aren't you two trouble makers?”

Atsushi shrieked and Kyouka whipped around to face the voice. She prepared to summon demon snow but relaxed instantly when she saw the person who had spoken. 

Ranpo was lying in the corner flat on his back with a raccoon laying on his chest. Kyouka smiled brightly and walked slowly towards Ranpo and said racoon. “He’s so cute!” she whispered, staring at the animal.

Ranpo chuckled and held the racoon up for her. Kyouka put her hand out for the animal to sniff. He chirped at her and lept towards her. 

She caught him with a laugh and spun around. The racoon continued to chirp happily as Kyouka showered him with attention through pets and kisses. 

Atsushi approached carefully, frowning at the detective on the ground. “Why do you have Karl? I thought he belonged to Poe?”

“Up there,” Ranpo said and pointed above them. 

Kyouka looked up to see a man laying on a support beam, his legs were wrapped around the beam so he didn’t fall but his arms were free and he was frantically writing in a notebook. “Is that Poe?” she asked, scratching behind Karls ear. 

Ranpo sat up and stretched. “Yup he’s my friend.”

Kyouka tilted her head and watched the strange man wobble on the beam. “What is he doing?”

Ranpo looked up and frowned. “Figuring out how to commit murder.”

“What?” Atsushi squeaked, staring at Ranpo with wide eyes. “I thought you said he was harmless.”

“Fictionally,” Ranpo assured. “A clock tower mystery.”

Kyouka nodded. “He’s a writer,” she whispered to herself. 

Ranpo stood up and grinned. “The best there is,” he said and brushed his clothes off. “He’s working on his newest book now and I’m helping.”

Karl chittered happily, wiggling his way out of Kyouka’s arms to sit on her shoulder. “Can I read it?” she asked. 

Ranpo thought for a moment, then glanced at Atsushi. Atsushi frowned, fidgeting with his tie. 

“I don’t think he has anything kid appropriate,” Ranpo said, tapping his foot on the ground.

“I do.” 

The three of them looked up to see that Poe was now hanging off the beam with his arms and upper body swinging freely, only his legs were still wrapped around the beam. “I have poetry that should be fine for you to read. And some of my novels aren't too dark,” he said, smiling at the agency members on the ground. 

Kyouka smiled back. Poe laughed nervously, his short wind of confidence quickly fading. “I-if thats ok it doesn’t-”

“That’s great Poe! You’re getting another fan!” Ranpo interrupted. 

Poe's eyes went wide as he blushed, staring at the short detective. Ranpo grinned at the writer and Atushi swore he opened his eyes just to wink at the other man. 

“I like poetry,” Kyouka said, breaking the silence. 

“That's-” Poe cut himself off with a shout when he slipped and fell from the beam. Atsushi pushed Ranpo and Kyouka aside. His forearms charged to that of a tigers and he caught Poe before he could hit the ground. Poe’s squawk at being caught was at a pitch Atsushi didn’t think men could reach naturally and he nearly dropped the writer in shock of the sound. 

“Are you ok?” Atsushi asked. 

Poe whimpered in return and stared at the claws that accompanied the tiger arms. They had cut through pieces of the odd cape he wore. “Th-thank you,” he whispered. 

Atsushi gently set Poe down and helped him stand up. Ranpo bounced over to Poe as the writer brushed himself off, his hair falling in his face once again. The detective gave Poe a once over, gently placing a hand on his arm and turning to smile at his fellow agency members. 

Kyouka looked between the both of them and smiled. “I like you Mr. Poe.”

Poe startled and stared at her. “Oh thank you miss?”

“Kyouka.” she offered, Karl chittering as she introduced herself. 

“Miss Kyouka,” Poe said and smiled at the young girl and the raccoon on her shoulders. “It-”

The door burst open and two security guards entered the room. “Put your hands up!”

Kyouka summoned demon snow. 

Chapter Text

Tanizaki reached up and gently touched the spine of a book. It was black with the name Carmilla in red lettering on the spine. Tanizaki shuddered and turned away from the book shelf. He hadn’t meant to end up in the horror section; he was actually trying to find the romance section but they looked the same to him. 

The orange haired man skimmed the other titles on the ajecent shelves only to find equally frightening titles. He stepped quickly away and moved through the shelves into an open area in the library. There were several tables scattered throughout the area that perhaps once had order but they had been moved by library goers into an unorganized fashion. He felt a twinge of sympathy for the librarians who had to move the tables back to their correct positions. 

There were only a few other people in the library. Tanizaki assumed they were all regulars as they were all sitting in groups going ignored by a librarian who was shelving books and bouncing to the music playing in their headphones. He liked that about the library, everyone minded their own business and-

There was a crash from one of the shelves near him. Tanizaki and the rest of the library goers turned to the sound. Tanizaki glanced back at the librarian who didn’t look the least bit interested in the noise, not even giving the area a glance. It was quite possible the music was to loud for them to hear anything. The other patrons quickly went back to talking, also ignoring the sound. 

Tanizaki groans to himself and walks towards where the noise had been heard from. Curse his inability to mind his own business. As he approached he heard someone speaking in a hushed voice. “-brary. Please do not get me banned, it's the only one close to us that allows Karl to come in with me.”

Tanizaki turned the corner to look into the aisle. Ranpo was leaning against a shelf and sucking on a lollipop. His arms were crossed and he stared at the pile of books on the floor. A man Tanizaki hadn’t seen before was frantically picking up said books. A racoon was sitting on the empty shelf holding out its paws to grab books and put them back onto the shelf. The raccoon chittered happily, occasionally shelving a book upside down and making a sound that was too close to a human's laugh for Tanizaki to be comfortable with. 

Ranpo looked over at Tanizaki and grinned. “Hey Tanizaki,” he said loudly, waving at him. 

The man on the ground glanced over, well Tanazaki assumed he did since he couldn’t see the mans eyes, then quickly returned to his task, muttering to himself as he did so.

Tanizaki smiled nervously and approached the two. While he trusted Ranpo with his life the detective often made questionable decisions that often blew up in everyone's faces. 

“Hi Ranpo and uh,” he paused as he stared at the man on the ground. 

“Edgar Allen Poe, formerly of the guild,” Ranpo said, pointing at the man who after shelving the last book was standing up and picking the raccoon off the shelf. 

Poe and the raccoon made soft noises at each other, ignoring the other two men in the library aisle. Now that he was standing Tanizaki could now see how short he made Ranpo seem in comparison, but Ranpo was short around most people anyways. However the man also stood around a head taller than Tanizaki as well. He turned Ranpos' words in his head again and froze. 

“The guild?” he muttered, his worried expression turing to one of anger.

Poe fidgeted with the ribbon around his neck. “Formally I swear I don't have anything to do with what happened to your sister.”

“How do you know about that?” Tanizaki asked, his voice rising. 

“Oh I-”

Ranpo stepped in between them. “Poe kept tabs on everything but he really didn’t hurt Naomi and he wouldn’t. He’s a big softie,” he cooed and wrapped his arms around Poe’s waist. Poe blushed a violent shade of red and struggled to get out of the detective's grip.

Tanizaki took a deep breath, ignoring Ranpo’s antics he offered Poe an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I assumed the worst, I'm just protective of my sister.”

Poe nodded, successfully prying Ranpo off of him. 

“What are you doing in the library? I didn’t think you liked to read,” Tanazaki asked, turning back to Ranpo. 

Ranpo sighed, “Well I wanted to see if anything held up to Poe's writing but they're all stupid.” 

Poe blushed and tried to hide his face in the raccoon. 

“It's all so predictable it’s embarrassing that the library even allows people to look at them. They belonged on the floor,” Ranpo huffed.

Poe sighed, “Ranpo, dear, they’re idiots like you said, they don’t realize the books are bad.” 

“So I’m saving them!” Ranpo said, voice rising. 

Poe gently set a hand on Ranpo's shoulder. “Thank you for that, would you like to borrow a cookbook with me. We can try out a recipe together.”

Ranpo huffed again but nodded. “I’ll see you later, Tanizaki. Don’t read any mysteries that aren't written by Ed. The rest aren't worth it.” 

Tanizaki nodded, ignoring his need to ask questions. “Of course Ranpo.”

Poe led the detective away with a gentle hand on his arm. Tanizaki didn’t like that he was ex-guild but he hadn’t seen Ranpo that happy with anyone so he could excuse it. 

He turned to the shelf and found the P section trying to see if any of Poe’s books were there. His eyes widened as he found there were four shelves dedicated to his books. How did one man write that much? When did he even find the time?

Tanazaki pulled one of the books out and stared at the cover. 

He gulped. 

How was this mystery and not horror?

Chapter Text

Kenji often missed his village while he was in the city. He couldn’t fully replace his home but some things made it more tolerable for him. 

Such as the farmers market. 

It wasn’t truly the same as picking fruit right off the trees with his friends and family but the fruit was fresh and the people were friendly. 

He adjusted his hat as he passed through the rows of fruit. The air smelled sweet and a pleasant warm feeling filled Kenji. He waved at one of the sellers who happily waved back. 

He picked up an apple and inspected it before placing it into the wicker basket he was holding. 

Cases had been piling up recently and the entire agency was exhausted. Something about the summer heat making everyone irritable, sometimes enough to murder. Kenji's baked goods always brightened their days. So apple pie would do just the trick. 

He hummed a song he heard recently on the radio to himself, thinking he should get Kyoka and Atsushi to help him bake this time. 

Kenji nodded, he would ask those two himself when he got back to the agency. He picked some more apples out of the box, inspecting them as he did so, putting the ones that didn’t match his standards back. 

When he decided he had gotten enough he turned and walked to the space that had honey and beeswax products. He looked at the honey jars, beeswax candles and actual honeycombs. There were also pamphlets explaining different beekeeping techniques and other general bee facts. Kenji grabbed some of them, smiling as he thought about showing them to Kyoka later. 

“Oh honey candies!”

Kenji smiled at the familier voice and turned away from the honey themed table to see Ranpo running towards him with a raccoon clinging to his head. The racoon voiced its displeasure rather loudly and many customers were also turning to stare at the detective. 

Kenji just laughed. “Hello Ranpo! Who is this?” he asked, pointing to the raccoon who was clinging to Ranpos head and beginning to calm down.

“His name is Karl and this,” Ranpo held his hand up as if he was going to introduce another person and stopped. 

About ten seconds later a hurried looking man appeared from the rows of fruits and vegetables and made his way to Ranpos side. “Is Edgar Allan Poe.”

Poe nodded at Kenji and held a hand out for the racoon who took it in its hands and chittered happily. Kenji grinned and held out his hand. “Hello mister, I didn't know city folk kept racoons as pets!”

Poe jumped at Kenji's voice and shook his head. “They don’t normally,” he whispered, taking Kenji's hand in his. 

Kenji noted his hand was loose around his and that Poe didn’t protest as Kenji shook his hand for longer than was comfortable for most people. While Kenji would normally make eye contact with new people, as it was only polite, this man's hair covered his face and Kenji couldn’t tell where he was looking. He could assume it wasn’t at him given the man's nervous demeanor. 

“Hey Poe can we get these?” Ranpo asked, holding up a handful of honey candies. 

Poe smiled softly and nodded.

Kenji looked between them and grinned. “It’s great to meet people who care about Ranpo!” he said, using the fact he was still shaking Poe’s hand to pull him into a hug. 

Poe squawked and went limp in Kenji’s arms, not hugging back but not pushing him away. Kenji squeezed him once before he let go, stepping back and grinning at the gothic man. “What do you do for work? What are your hobbies? What are your favorite foods?”

Poe made another startled noise and glanced at Ranpo who was busy looking over the jars of honey. Poe gulped and hunched over. “Well I'm a writer and at the moment I'm more freelance due to disagreements with my publisher. Uh, I like writing, it's a hobby and ah well I like exploring the city. Oh um…” Poe shifted his weight. “What was the last one?”

Kenji smiled and patted Poe’s arm gently. “What are your favorite foods?”

Poe thought for a moment. “Nothing comes to mind. But I do enjoy fruit-based pastries.”

Kenji nodded. “That sounds great! I’ll make you something someday!”

“Oh you don’t have to.” Poe said, holding his hands up. 

“He’s going to.” Ranpo said and made his way back to Poe’s side, now holding a bunch of candy in his arms. “You’re making us pie?” Ranpo asked.

Kenji clapped. “You got it! I’m making an apple pie for the agency!”

Ranpo bounced on his feet. “Good I love apple pie,” he turned to Poe. “We have to make pie!”

Poe inclined his head at Kenji. Ranpo raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “Not an apple one we should make,” Ranpo trailed off. 

“You could make a blueberry pie,” Kenji suggested, thinking of the blueberry baskets he saw when he walked into the market.

“I like blueberries,” Poe whispered so quightly Kenji almost didn't hear him. 

Ranpo perked up at Poe’s words, eyes opening to stare at the man. “Yes we should do that! We’re making blueberry pie!”

Karl chirped happily and reached out to grab at Kenji's hat. “Oh hello!” Kenji laughed. 

“Are there oranges here?” Ranpo asked, looking around the market.

Kenji nodded. “Do you want me to show you where they are?”

Ranpo picked Karl off his head and held him out to Kenji who lowered his head so the raccoon could be placed on top of his hat. 

“You go get oranges for Karl and we’ll get blueberries.”

“Ranpo-” 

Ranpo looked up at Poe and the two didn’t speak for several moments.

Poe relaxed and smiled at Kenji. “He doesn’t bite but he will steal. If he eats anything let me know so I can pay for it.”

“Will do, sir!” Kenji said with a salute that was anything but mocking. 

The two men walked away and Kenji reached up to pet Karl as he walked over to the orange display. “City folk are so different.”

Chapter Text

Ranpo often changed his address in the agency's paperwork as the detective moved often due to boredom, threats against his life and lastly being kicked out of his apartments by angry landlords. 

The last one hadn’t happened as often but had Ranpo pouting in the office and following a member back to their rooms in the dorms. It was usually Atsushi who housed Ranpo. As the weretiger was known to hoard blankets for his fellow agency members and himself. Sometimes Ranpo would follow Fukuzawa into his apartment and curl up in the corner. It reminded Fukuzawa of old times when the detective would refuse to sleep without Fukuzawa in his sights for fear the other man would vanish into the night. 

Fukuzawa smiled at the memories as he stepped up to Ranpos' latest apartment. He liked to make sure the young man was actually living in the place he said he was. They already had this problem when Ranpo vanished for a week because he got lost and didn’t want to admit he lied on his paperwork about where he lived. There was also another time when Kunikida broke down the door to a young couple's apartment whose only crime was living in the place Ranpo put on paper.

Fukuzawa knocked on the door and stepped back as he heard several locks being undone. 

The door opened just enough to allow a man to stick his head out. “Hello,” he said. His voice was deep and had a slight accent to it. Fukuzawa couldn’t see the man's expression fully as his hair covered his eyes. “Can I help you?”

“I apologize I must have the wrong address,” Fukuzawa sighed, stepping away from the door and bowing his head.

The man nodded, tapping at the edge of the door. “Of course I-”

The man cried out in shock as he was pulled away and the door was fully opened. Ranpo grinned at Fukuzawa’s bewildered expression. 

“Hiya boss! How’s it going?” 

Fukuzawa blinked and glanced at where the stranger was now hunched over behind Ranpo, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. “You changed your address. I wanted to visit you.” he explained, not taking his eyes off the strange man. 

Ranpo nodded to himself, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Well since you came all this way do you wanna come in,” the detective gestured to the other man, “We made cookies.”

“I-”

Ranpo grabbed Fukuzawa's arm and pulled him inside. “You have to try them, they're really good!”

A crash sounded from deeper inside the apartment that caused the strange man and Fukuzawa to jump. The strange man muttered a curse in english as he ran towards the sound. 

Ranpo laughed, unaffected by the noise. He waved a hand to dismiss any questions Fukuzawa might have had. “It’s just Karl. He’s mad cause he’s not allowed chocolate.”

Fukuzawa took a deep breath and took stock of everything that had just happened. The strange man looked vaguely familiar but he couldn’t place him, he could be a friend of Ranpos. The detective often forgot to introduce his friends, just assuming everyone else knew them. Not that it happened often, Ranpo didn’t make friends most of the time. Let alone two if there was another person in the kitchen apparently named Karl. 

Ranpo raised an eyebrow at Fukuzawa as he thought about the strange encounter. The detective laughed again and gestured for Fukuzawa to follow him to what the ex-bodyguard assumed was the kitchen. 

He then took the time to glance around the apartment as he followed the detective, which did not look as though Ranpo had just moved in. It instead looked lived in and homey. 

The living room didn’t have normal walls, instead there were bookshelves surrounding the room. They were mostly filled with books while otheres only some having macabre items displayed, including several skulls, some ceramics and art pieces. 

There were several bean back chairs and large pillows scattered around the room. In the middle of the room was a couch that had black and gray throw pillows with a fluffy black blanket laid across it. Near the sitting areas were more books, piled up and laid across the chairs and floor. 

Also the floor there were what Fukuzawa recognized as cat toys. When did Ranpo get a cat? And how dare he not inform Fukuzawa. 

When he entered the kitchen the theme was much the same, favoring darker tones to the lighter ones and more gothic decor.

The strange man was now in the middle of the kitchen wrangling a… racoon?  Ranpo walked right past the stranger who was now negotiating with said raccoon in a hushed scolding tone. Ranpo grabbed a plate of cookies and held them out to Fukuzawa. 

“Poe’s been teaching me to bake.”

Fukuzawa looked at who he assumed was Poe who had successfully calmed the raccoon down and was petting it gently while making cooing noises. He had definitely heard the name before Ranpo must have mentioned him at some point. 

Fukuzawa took a cookie and said a quick prayer before taking a bite. 

His eyes went wide as he discovered that it was both edible and not going to cause him food poisoning. The last time Ranpo had made food Atsushi had begged Yosano to kill him and not bring him back.

“This is,” he trailed off, taking another bite.

Ranpo cheered, “Good? I know right! Poe did most of it but I added the chocolate chips!”

Well that explains a lot. 

“My compliments to you Mr. Poe,” Fukuzawa said, smiling softly.

Poe’s arms tightened around the raccoon, who didn’t seem to mind and instead started to emit a purring sound that Fukuzawa was unaware raccoons could make. 

“Thank you sir.” 

“I apologize for Ranpos manners and my own. My name is Yukichi Fukuzawa. I am the president of the armed detective agency.”

Poe took a deep breath and straightened his stance. “My name is Edgar Allen Poe,” he paused and bent over again. “This is Karl,” he said, holding out the racoon who chittered loudly, waving a hand at Fukuzawa. 

“It is very nice to meet you both. I apologize again for Ranpo. He made a change in his paperwork that this was his new place of residence.”

Poe nodded, “He informed me that agency members may visit us.”

Fukuzawa tilted his head. “Are you,” he trailed off. 

Ranpo practically skipped over to Poe and stood next to him, leaving no room between them. “I’m living with Poe.”

Fukuzawa glanced back and forth between the two men before finally nodding in understanding. Pride flowed through him as he looked at the man he could consider his son to stand next to his partner. 

“Congratulations on your relationship then.”

Poe went red and his mouth fell open while Ranpo grinned. “Thank you!” the detective said, wrapping an arm around Poe's waist. 

“Are you happy?” 

Ranpo nodded, staring up at Poe who was still in shock. “Very.”

“I’m very proud of you. Please bring him around the office to meet the agency.”

Ranpo giggled, “Oh they’ve all met him.”

Fukuzawa raised an eyebrow. “I see,” he said and took another bite of his cookie. It was rather good; he just hoped Ranpo wouldn’t eat too many of them. 

He studied Poe again who was holding Karl out to Ranpo, still red in the face. Fukuzawa smiled as the raccoon climbed onto Ranpo’s head and Ranpo brushed the bangs out of Poe’s face. 

“I will take my leave now. Thank you for letting me into your home, both of you. And please feel free to bring these with you when you come to the office.” he gestured at the plate of cookies. “Ranpo isn’t the only one with a sweet tooth.”

Poe smiled and now that Fukuzawa could see his eyes he could easily see the fear and anxiety. However mixed with the frenzy of emotions there was always a softness when he looked at Ranpo. 

As Fukuzawa left he took in the apartment again. The gothic decor must have been from Poe but now he saw candy wrappers and case files laying next to the books. Still scattered around the floor was what he now knew were racoon toys. He smiled to himself when he realized some were shaped like murder weapons. Ranpo always did have a strange sense of humor.

As stepped out of the door and down the hall he turned Poe’s name in his head, trying to remember where he had heard it before. It sounded similar to Ranpo’s. Come to think of it, there was a man in the guild with a similar name.

Fukuzawa quickly turned and walked back to the apartment. What was with his agency and sleeping with the enemy? 

Chapter Text

It was a nice day. There were just enough clouds in the sky that the sun wasn’t blinding and while it was warm, a cool breeze blew through the air. 

Edgar Allen Poe walked through the crowded streets clutching Karl in his arms and petting him to ease his anxiety. 

His version of a nice day was akin to a rainy day where the streets would be empty and he could walk with an umbrella through the dreary streets. Not enough rain however that he would be drenched but just enough that no normal person would want to venture outside. 

It was still a nice day in his eyes; but Poe couldn’t help but feel some sort of dread. He chalked it up to his everyday anxiety and tried not to dwell on it. 

When he entered the armed detective agencies office no one batted an eye. Kunikida just raised an eyebrow and informed the writer that Ranpo was on a case and would be back soon. Poe nodded and took a seat at Ranpo's desk. 

Karl jumped out of Poe's arms and ran over to where Kyouka was sitting, chirping happily when she scratched behind his ears. She took him into her arms and started whispering to him in a soft voice. 

Poe pulled out a book from his coat pocket and began reading. He had just gotten to the major plot twist of the story when Atsushi threw the door open so he didn’t look up. 

“Someone took Ranpo!”

The agency members froze before Yosano rushed at Atsushi, grabbed him by the shoulders and began to press him for information. “We were leaving the crime scene when someone grabbed me and knocked me out. When I woke up Ranpo was gone. I-”

Atsushi yelped when Poe pulled him away from Yosano to face him. Atushi felt a shiver go up his spine as he stared into the writers eyes. Poe's eyes had gone from a gloomy gray-purple to stormy gray that reminded Atsushi of sea storms that threw ships into cliffs and rocks without mercy. 

“What street were you on?”

Atsushi gulped feeling frozen by those eyes. “What?”

Poe sneered and Atsuhi squealed when Poe squeezed his shoulders, sharp nails digging into his skin. 

“Bildad street!” Atsushi yelped. “We were near the coffee shop Ranpo sometimes stops at! The one with a panda theme!”

Poe released him and turned on his heel to the door, Karl ran across the room to him and jumped onto his coat, climbing the cape to reach Poe’s shoulders. 

Kunikida ran towrds the the author, “What are you-” 

“I’ll return with Ranpo!” Poe shouted and slammed the door shut. 

The agency was silent for a second before Dazai started laughing. Kunikida whipped around to glare at him. “What is wrong with you?”

Dazai waved his hand dismissively, still laughing as he spoke, “Oh several things! They might name a disorder after me!” 

Atsushi rubbed his shoulders where Poe had dug his nails into his skin, “But why are you laughing?” 

Dazai hummed at the weretigers questions. “Just thinking how even I’m not enough of an idiot to mess with those two.”

Kunikida glared at the bandaged man then turned to Atsushi. “We need to follow him,” Kunikida ordered. “Now! We can’t let non agency members get hurt.”

Atsushi nodded and ran out the door after Poe. 

For someone who didn’t look like he did an exercise Poe could definitely walk fast. The two detectives nearly lost the writer as he had already made it down the block by the time they left the building. 

Atsushi and Kunikida trailed after Poe for several minutes. Kunikida took his notebook out of his breast pocket and started flipping through the pages in anticipation. Atsushi would have activated his ability if he wasn’t afraid of accidentally hurting or scaring a civilian with his tiger claws. 

Poe abruptly turned a corner into an alleyway. 

Atushi ran past Kunikida to catch up with the ex-guild member, skidding to a halt at the alley entrance. He watched Poe stop at a door in the ally and check the lock. When the writer found it open he stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind him. 

Kunikida caught up with Atsushi and nodded to follow the man. 

As Atsushi opened the door a flash of golden light filled the room. Atsushi blinked away spots in his vision and watched the blurry figure of Poe close the book he was holding with a snap. He turned to the weretiger and tossed the book over to him. 

“Hold that.” 

Atushi scrambled to catch it and then held it close to his chest. While he was aware Poe was an ability user, Ranpo had mentioned, he didn’t know what it was. Nor had he ever seen it in action. The only thing he knew was that it had something to do with books. 

He looked at the cover and frowned. “The Cask of Amontillado?” he muttered to himself. 

Kunikida pushed past Atsushi, who continued to stare at the book in his hands, to follow Poe as he walked into the next room. There were shouts of surprise before another golden flash lit up the room adjacent to the weretiger. 

Atsushi looked up from the book and sprinted in to see Kunikida and Poe untying an unconscious Ranpo from a chair. They were the only four people in the room with no sign anyone else had been there. The only thing left was another book lying on the ground. Atsushi quickly picked it up. This book was no less concerning then the other book with the title being The Pit and the Pendulum .

Ranpo slumped forward into Poe's arms who struggled to carry him on his own. Kunikida quickly stepped in and lifted Ranpo into his own arms. Poe took one of Ranpos hands in his own, gently stroking it.

“Where did the perpetrators go?” Kunikida asked, glaring at the writer and detectives intertwined hands.

Poe hummed in acknowledgement, not looking away from Ranpo. “I don’t think I understand,” he muttered. 

Kunikida’s frown deepened. “Where ar-”

“Kunikida, truly I wouldn’t worry about that.”

Atsushi shivered as Poe's hair shifted to reveal one of his eyes. Normally Atsushi would be delighted to see the author's eyes as it was a rare sight. Twice in one day was nearly unheard of. Today however he decided he had seen enough of them for at least a month.

“Get Ranpo back to the agency,” Poe stated, voice reverberating around the nearly empty room. 

Kunikida’s eyes went wide but he listened to the writer as he turned to walk briskly out of the room. Atsushi turned to follow him but stopped when someone grabbed his shoulder. The weretiger froze, ice filling his veins as looked up to see Poe leaning over him, smiling. Atushi only blinked when Poe slowly took the books from him.

 “Thank you,” he said in an almost pleasant tone that made Atsushi's hair stand on end. “I’ll be back at the agency soon. I just have to take care of something.”

Atushi nodded and sprinted out of the room trying to forget the look on Poe’s face. 

Ranpo woke up at the agency two hours later. His only injuries were some slight bruising but he also was high out of his mind. He kept grabbing at anyone around him and babbling about something. No one could really tell he was just stringing words together, his brain moving faster than his mouth. 

The agency had unanimously decided to let him ride out the high and go back to normal work. Only Kenji and Kyouka were still listening to the detective. They sat on the floor in front of him watching with rapt attention as though the detective was telling a story.

Ranpo stopped talking when the door to the agency creaked open. “Ed!” He cried attempting to stand up only to fall back onto the couch with a groan. 

Kenji and Kyouka both stood up to get out of the frantic ex-guild members' way. 

Poe walked up to Ranpo and gently cupped his cheek in his hand. “Are you alright?” he whispered, tilting the detective's head to check for any wounds. 

Ranpo giggled and leaned into the touch, reaching out to grab Poe’s tailcoat. 

“Yep! I feel like a marshmallow!”

Poe frowned and looked over to Yosano who rolled her eyes. “They drugged him. It was most likely they're version of truth serum,” she said, gesturing at the detective who started ranting unintelligibly again. 

Poe nodded and looked back at Ranpo who had stopped talking abruptly. Ranpo frowned and narrowed his eyes at Poe. “You smell like blood, I don't like it,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry dearest.”

“Why?”

Poe leaned over and whispered something into Ranpos ear. The agency members learned forward to hear but it was too quiet for them. Ranpo snickered and pushed Poe away gently, only to pull him back and kiss him square on the mouth. Poe squeaked but after a few seconds of Ranpo kissing him he relaxed. Karl huffed from the spot on Poe's shoulders and stared at the agency with his black eyes as if asking ‘can you believe these two’. Kyouka and Kenji laughed quietly at the raccoon. Normally Atsushi would also laugh but he had seen too much today. 

“Can we go home?” Ranpo asked when he pulled away from the writer. 

Poe looked over to Yosano who smiled at the two of them. “I don’t see why not.”

“Are you sure?” Poe asked. 

“It’s alright I know you will take good care of him,” Fukuzawa interrupted in the doorframe he just appeared in. 

Poe jumped, nearly falling onto Ranpo who hadn’t let go of his shirt. Fukuzawa just smiled while Ranpo laughed again and used Poe’s arm to pull himself to his feet. 

Poe carefully guided Ranpo out of the room with an arm wrapped around his waist to stabilize the detective.  

The moment the door closed Dazai spoke up, “So we all agree he totally murdered those guys right?”

Kunikida’s pen snapped in half. “No, I will not have another member dating a serial killer.” 

“But Kunikida,” Yosano said. “He did it for Ranpo. Isn’t that worth something.”

Kunikida muttered a curse. While the sadistic doctor laughed. 

“God they’re perfect for eachother,” she said. “I think if the roles were reversed the body count would stay the same.”

Fukuzawa nodded in agreement and returned to his office, gently closing the door behind him. 

Dazai turned to Atsushi, smiling. “Find someone who will kill for you kid.” 

“Do not do that.” Kunikida hissed, pulling another pen out of his drawer. “Do not listen to him. Never listen to him.” 

Atushi blushed and looked away as the two men started to argue, trying not to think of a certain enemy of his.