Chapter Text
"hOI!!! welcum imm!!!!" You give a small smile to the monster hanging over the counter and pop to the back of the store. You grab a bottle of clear rum, and as you turn around to head to the counter you notice the same sea tea rum as you had before. You glance at the bottle in your hand, then place it back and grab two of the sea tea rums instead. You justify that they're almost half the price as the human liquor.
You head to the front and set the two bottles down, then nod your head to the stash of shooters behind the counter. "And um..." You gaze lazily over the selection. Might as well be a little adventurous. "Uh... 3 of those spicy pickle shooters."
"OKIII!" The monster hops off the counter and trots to the wall. She hops once, then again, and again. Thankfully what you asked for was relatively low, because she didn't seem to have a stool or anything. After awhile, she trots back up to the counter and throws the three plastic bottles on the counter. You lean over the counter to see her still on the ground. "Uh... Do you need some help?" She nods. "tem SHORT!" You give her a small smile. You step around the counter and gently lift her, and set her back in her spot on the counter. "tem THANK!!!!!" She nudges the little bottles again then looks up at you.
"one monieZ plszz!!" She yips. You raise an eyebrow. "Um. Those are two dollars each and I'm pretty sure these bottles were like... eight a pop." The monster shrugs. "one moniezz!!1! pls!!!!!!!" She says again. You shrug and hand her your card, which she just looks at. She spins a little card reader towards you. "tAP!!!!!!!!!!!!" She barks, so you do as told. At the end of the transaction, it asks if you want to tip.
"tip??? TIP???" She's smiling really wide. Man you can't help it you have to tip her. You tip her the actual amount of the items you took, plus an extra five. She gasps when she sees you tipped her.
"tEM?? gO VACATION???????" She shouts, jumping happily on the counter. "HOOMANN!!! has GOOD DAY!!!" You wave as you step out, chuckling to yourself.
You stuff the bottles into your bag as you walk towards your building, realizing how much alcohol you just bought. You definitely can't drink all of this alone, but at least you'll have some for awhile.
When you arrive home, you set all but one of the rum bottles on your coffee table then immediately dash to your room to change into shorts and a short tank top. You then head to the kitchen with the other bottle. You place the other on your kitchen counter and grab yourself a shot glass and an apple juice from your cabinet, then return to the living room with your other drinks. You flick your TV on, sitting in the dark with just music videos playing. Eventually, you decide to try these pickle shots. You down all three to get it over with, then pop the rum bottle open.
Okay damn, those pickles sure are spicy and the alcohol sure is alcoholing. You're already pretty tipsy. You let a few videos pass by before you pour yourself a shot of the monster rum you picked up, then immediately throw it back. A buzzing catches your attention after while.
$n@$
hi
$n@$
not to be a bonehead but can u turn ur music down just a little
$n@$
paps is doing something with frisk early tomorrow, he can probs sleep through it but just incase u kno?
$n@$
i dont like texting so much but maybe u arent near ur phone so ill just come by
As soon as you finish reading the last message, you hear a knock at your door. Ah, shit. You didn't mean to bug them, this is definitely unlike you for a weekday anyways.
You flick the volume down a few notches before standing- almost tripping- and trotting towards the door. You take a breath, then open it to find none other than Sans.
He's ditched his jacket. He looks like he was working on something. Probably that weird sculpture thing. Currently, he stands in front of you, staring at you, in his usual slippers, a white t-shirt, and his usual shorts. You bite the inside of your cheek and look away from him. "I saw your text as you knocked, I turned it down. Sorry." You stifle a hiccup, then sigh. Sans doesn't say anything, so you look towards him again.
He has his hands in his pockets, eye sockets narrowed, and his head tilted slightly. "have you been drinking?" He also has a slight smirk, which you didn't notice until he spoke. "M-Maybe." You stifle another hiccup. He chuckles, then leans one arm on your doorframe. "it's tuesday at... ten pm." He stares at you, then leans a little closer to you making you back up. You cross your arms and give him a huff. "I didn't ask." He leans back a little and shrugs. "can i ask why? seems unlike you." You shrug, a hiccup escaping your lips. "I just had a long day." Sans glances down at your chest then immediately back to your eyes. "alright." He doesn't move, he continues to lean on your door frame with a smug look. You have to admit, whatever vibe he's giving off right now you're definitely catching. He just seems so cool right now.
"What, you think you're hot shit now because I said you were attractive?" Sans snorts, standing up straight. "oh, so you think i'm attractive?" You shake your head. "No, I said you're not unattractive." Sans laughs, then places his hands back in his pocket. "but you just now said i was attractive." You think for a moment, then sigh. "I give up." You state, crossing your arms. It's silent for a few moments, and you feel you could cut the air with a knife. Suddenly,
"...do you want some company?"
You only nod and step aside, pointing to your dark living room with random music videos cycling. You let the door shut behind you, then head to the kitchen to grab another shot glass. When you emerge into your living room, Sans has flipped your lamps on and added a few things to the queue. You set the glass down in front of him and grab the rum bottle. "Can you have human alcohol?" Sans shrugs. "dunno. never tried it."
"It doesn't really matter I guess, I got the same bottle as Undyne had." Sans nods, taking his glass from your hand. You pour yourself a shot as well, cheers, and repeat the process two more times. You're a few shots in by now, you're definitely feeling it and you can tell Sans is a little tipsy. He's got a dumb grin on his face.
You guys hold dumb conversation for awhile, Sans asking about your day and you ranting about your shitty boss and shitty coworker. As you finish up complaining about them, Sans seems to finally notice the little empty shooter bottles.
"did you uh... drink human and monster alcohol?" You hiccup in response, making Sans sigh. "they don't... interact great. you're gonna have the worst hangover." He gives you a look, resting his arm on the back of your couch. You hiccup again, pouring another shot. You cheers with Sans again, him giving you an even more nervous look. You take the shot anyways, and he follows suit.
"Ah, man. I love this song." You sit up straight, leaning to pour another shot. Sans moves closer to you, then rests his hand on top of yours before your hand reaches the bottle. "maybe that's enough? you've had quite a bit." You glance at the bottle, then to him. You don't notice your proximity, instead opting to pour the shot anyways. "One more. I was gonna call out tomorrow anyways." Sans shrugs and sighs, not moving. "if you're sure." He murmurs, taking his glass from your hand.
You both cheers and take the shot, you leaning back into his arm which remained on the back of the couch. Sans places his glass down, then relaxes again back into the couch. Music plays lowly as you both sit quietly for awhile, the music being only broken by a hiccup from you every once in awhile.
Recently, you've found yourself changing. You've felt prettier, you've felt cared for, you've felt grateful, and lucky, so many new things. Mostly thanks to Sans. You feel you still don't know as much as you want to about Sans, or monsters in general, but you feel like you want to get to know this one better. You figure now's a good time to use the 'I was drunk!' excuse.
"Sans, what was your last partner like?" Sans hums for a moment, then glances at you. "i hope i don't remember this conversation later." He chuckles. "uh, don't ever bring any of this up okay? i can't believe i'm telling you this." You sit up straight and turn to face him fully, then make a zipping motion on your lips.
"ok. well, they were literally the prettiest i'd ever seen. for whatever that's worth." He sighs happily, gazing at the TV as he speaks. "they had such a pretty soul, and it was extremely powerful. so powerful it..." He pauses, then continues. "we didn't work out because of it." You lean forward a little. "What happened?" Sans shrugs. "we grew apart. their soul was just too much for me to handle, and i couldn't help them when they needed me." You look away as Sans looks towards you. "It uh, sounds like you love them a lot." Sans lowers his arm from the back of the couch, letting his hand fall to his side. "i did, but i'm over it now. first loves do that i think." He doesn't sound like he's being entirely honest, but something about his vulnerability right now is kinda... Hot? You just wanna ask him so much.
"I get it. My first love was a jerk, but for a long time I thought they'd come back." You and Sans make eye contact, so you give him a wide grin. After another few quiet moments, Sans speaks again. "do i get to ask you questions too?" You nod, chuckling. "Yeah, you always can. I think I'm a pretty open book though." Sans thinks for a moment. You think you see a hint of blue tinge his cheeks, but you aren't positive.
"have you uh. dated many people?" He asks. You nod. "Well, a few. Obviously they didn't work out! That's why I always end up drinkin' alone." You joke, raising your glass. You set it down and Sans gives you a weak smile. You've had a question on your mind for the last few days, more specifically since Sans last said you guys would chat. You think you're drunk enough to ask.
"Um. What's it like for... A monster to... Date?" Sans hums and turns to face you fully. "be more specific, because the easy answer is just like humans." You sigh and look away. After a few moments you take a deep breath. "Do monsters have the same uh... Needs?" Sans raises an eyebrow at you. "um... yeah. physical intimacy, hand holding, kissing, gifts, all that... yeah." You nod. Another awkward few moments go by before you decide to just be out with one of your more... Invasive questions.
"What's it like for skeletons to date?" You refuse to look at him, knowing your face is bright red. You can feel his eyes on you. "just like humans? again, be more specific." You hiccup, then let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"What's it like for skeletons to kiss?"
Sans scoots closer to you, moving his arm to rest on the couch behind you. "heh, are you curious?" You can feel your face burning, and you know if you turn to face him he'll be so close- too close- you might explode.
"Y-Yes?" You squeak. Sans chuckles lowly. "do you want to find out?"
Your head is spinning. Maybe it's the alcohol talking, for both of you- but you kind of do. But, friends kiss all the time, right? You both have been drinking, so-
"Yeah, I do."
You turn to fully face Sans, a rush of adrenaline surging through you. Sans looks taken aback, like he was joking and you caught him off guard. As you're about to try to laugh it off and say you were joking, his palm rests against the back of your neck. He pulls you forward a little.
"close your eyes." You do as your told, and as soon as you do, you feel him pull you forward.
Surprisingly, it feels almost exactly like kissing a human. For a split second you feel guilty for some reason, but that quickly goes away when you feel his other hand on your lower back. You wrap your arms around his neck. You can feel his ribs against you, and his hand that had pulled you moving onto the back of your head into your hair.
As quickly as it happened he's retreating, moving back slightly. He doesn't move his hands, keeping only about an inch of space between your faces, allowing you both to breathe for a moment. He moves his hand that was on your back to your hip, letting his hand linger on your bare skin for a moment before fully pulling back. You quickly remove your arms and retreat to the other side of the couch.
Sans has a deep blue coating his face as he wipes the corner of his jaw with his thumb, refusing to meet your gaze. Your heart is pounding, and you know your face is bright red.
"that... didn't mean anything, okay? you just..." You give him a curt nod. "Yup, I was curious. About monster magic or something. So this um. Stays between us. No one needs to know that um... This happened." Sans finally looks at you, and gives you a dopey grin. "yeah, agreed. we're just two um, curious uh..." He's staring at your chest as he trails off.
After a moment he finds himself, and lets his eyes meet yours. "i should..." You nod. "Oh! Yeah. It's late so..." Sans stands and you follow. You lead him to your front door.
"Uh. I'm glad you um. Came over."
Sans nods, shooting you a wink. "yeah, i had a great time." You roll your eyes and nudge him lightly. "Okay weirdo, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He gives you another dopey grin and finally a hiccup escapes from him. You chuckle, letting your door close.
Sans lingers outside for a moment, the events of tonight finally hitting him.
The look of pure anxiety stained on his face doesn't go unnoticed by himself when he passes a mirror in his hall.