Chapter Text
SAME DAY:
“Ah yes, the moons!” the Sun finally remembered. “This isn’t much of a punishment as it is—well—a personal redemption. Since some of you already apologized to the planets, the others must do this immediately after the trials or in the near future. And it has to be sincere and not just because I told you to!”
All satellites (minus the two perpetrators) nodded obediently.
“For the next two years—Earth years, not Neptune years—each of you will jot down how much progress you’ve made in terms of improving relationships with your designated planets!” he instructed. “Now I don’t expect professional writing from any of you, but it has to be authetic. So no bullshitting! Believe me, I’ll know if you’re lying.”
The Sun inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.
“The only ones exempt from this task are Luna, Tethys, Laomedeia, and the dwarf planets’ moons—since none of you were involved in the violence nor supported the revolution in any way, shape, or form! Of course…you can still track your progress if you want, but it’s not mandatory,” he added. “It might be helpful though.”
“We’ll keep that in mind,” Luna smiled appreciatively. “And we’ll let the other satellites know as soon as possible.”
“Thanks, but there’s no need. I’ll summon them all later,” Sol informed him.
“Oh…okay,” Earth’s satellite replied.
“Before I move forward…I’m gonna address Phobos, Deimos, Io, Callisto, and Neptune’s moons for a sec.”
This caught their attention.
“You guys did initially support the revolution, but didn’t participate in the attacks—so your required assignment is basically what the others moons have, but for three months rather than two years. You already have a good relationship with your respective planets, but there’s always room for improvement!”
“We can do that!” Phobos chirped.
“Hooray for more time with Mars!” Deimos applauded.
“And Neptune!” Naiad cheered.
“Anyway! Moving onto…drum-roll please…Titan!” The said moon gulped quietly. “Since the Moon Revolution was your idea and it wasn’t run by me first, therefore technically illegal—you have an additional task!” the Sun proclaimed.
“For six whole semesters, you will audit a variety of Earthling courses online from an undergraduate major of your choosing—but here’s the catch! You must complete the professors’ homework assignments, exams, pop quizzes, projects…whatever! This will start in a few months since first, you have to study for the United States High School GED and SAT!”
Titan blinked rapidly. “Uh…how am I supposed to — ”
“Don’t worry. I promise to explain the details in tomorrow’s one-on-one meeting. Feel free to take notes while I’m talking in order to make your job easier,” the yellow dwarf highly recommended with a toothy grin. “By the way, Earth is not required to help you with either process, but he cannot do the work for you.”
“Oh…o-okay. Sounds good, I guess…” he trailed off.
“And now for the grand finale!” the Sun broadcasted. “Ganymede and Europa! You two have a lot of crimes under your belt! But mostly for an illegal armed conflict, plus promoting violence born out of hate and prejudice towards a targetted group of celestial bodies!”
The two culprits exchanged apprehensive glances before eyeing their prosecutor.
“Now at first, I considered banishment…but then I realized, that would be too easy. You guys would ironically have even more freedom! So here’s the deal—the others can still visit, but you two are not allowed to leave your designated orbits for the next five hundred years!” he nearly shouted.
Ganymede and Europa swallowed thickly before Sol’s tone instantly returned to normal.
“However…I can reduce your sentence by five decades if you’re willing to display genuine remorse for your nearly successful power play,” he offered. “So what’s it gonna be? Do both of you regret conducting violence against the planets? Yes or no? And remember, no BS! Being sorry you got caught doesn’t count!”
“Uh…” Ganymede was at a loss for words. “Maybe we took it too far…”
“Yeah…does sort of count for anything…?” Europa hoped.
“So your regret is fifty percent?” the Sun assumed.
“Seventy percent on my end,” Jupiter’s smallest Gallilean moon admitted.
“I’ll go with sixty,” the largest moon said truthfully.
“Alright then…70+60 is 130—divided by two is sixty-five. So 50*0.65 is…32.5! Huh—looks like your sentence is 32.5 years shorter, so 467.5 years!” Sol stated.
“467 years and six months…okay, not bad,” Europa hummed. “At least it’s better than a thousand.”
“Let alone a million,” Ganymede mumbled in partial relief.
“Ahem! But keep in mind that each major violation will add ten years to your imprisonment!” the yellow dwarf warned them. “That includes the following! Further acts of moderate-to-severe physical harm towards each other or anyone else, whether it’s intentional or simply a prank. Other factors are substantial threats, promoting hate speech…you get the jist.”
“What about Earth? He also said something discriminatory against all moons of the Solar System,” the female culprit challenged.
“His freedom is already limited due to his Earthlings, so he can’t really go beyond the Asteroid Belt anyway. Also, he did not cause physical harm on anyone, let alone start a war,” the Sun reminded her. “And according to Mercury, he already paid a heavy price for his past misconduct, and I should know ‘cause I was a direct witness!”
“Yeah! Earth genuinely apologized and made up for it! Did you forget that? You guys were there!” Luna supplied aggravatedly. “And he wrote detailed letters to every individual satellite in the Solar System, including the dwarf planets.”
“I-I-It’s true! I read mine,” Io volunteered. “I-I-It was very sweet and thoughtful!”
“I did too, and he’s right. Earth wrote to all of us,” Ariel confirmed.
“He has really nice handwriting,” Despina complimented.
Earth ducked his head and smiled. “Thanks.”
“I—I should probably read mine soon,” Titania confessed.
Triton nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
“So far, so good! Any questions?” the Sun asked, which was met with an awkward silence. “Alright then! The trial is officially over, so everyone’s dismissed! As for Titan, Ganymede, and Europa—I will see you three in twenty-four hours.”
“Yes sir,” they replied synchronously.
Right before the Solar System members parted ways for the night, four planets apologized for unintentionally invalidating their moons’ feelings. In the meantime, Mars and Neptune were looking forward to strengthening their bonds with each natural satellite starting tomorrow morning.
For a brief moment—the eight planets, Luna, Phobos, and Deimos exchanged warm smiles with Rhea and Tethys, promising to keep in touch from now on. Obviously Venus denied expressing his soft side, but that’s a story for another time.