Chapter Text
Michael knew he needed a new secretary. It’d been a long time coming since he fired Kitty, then rehired her, and fired her once more. And since Michael was too guilty to let George-Michael give up his spring break, filling in for the now twice-fired Kitty, he knew he’d have to hire someone. Albeit that task wasn’t very high on his list, the few following days made him reconsider. Busting Gob and their Father’s inane plan to prevent Gilligan from testifying, and then making the worst business investment of his life. Which he attempted to fix by blaming his father, but ultimately only made things worse for himself. Michael swore the Bluth family name was cursed, things seemingly never went their way, he also swore that this whole secretary thing couldn’t be held off any longer. With nowhere else to turn, Michael made a rare, unsolicited visit to his Mother’s.
“Michael?” Lucille's voice boomed as she walked into the living room, brushing out her hair as she entered. “I hope you’re here to bring me a check for Buster’s surgery. They made him stop eating after midnight, and he’s hungry, and he’s in a foreign land, and his jaw is clicking, and he is scared.” Michael shifted on his legs, “I don’t have the money. All right, Mom?”
“Then why are you here?” Lucille stared back a little incredulously, before Michael started for the door. “I don’t know,” It came out in an exasperated sigh. And even though he’d already cracked the door open, he found his fist shutting it right back closed. “So, how’s work?” His mother asked heedfully as she leaned against the door frame.
Work. God how Michael hated work right now. So much so that he found himself turning back into the apartment. “It’s- it’s not great, Mom, -since you asked.” Apparently his increasing dislike for work surpassed his fatuous dislike for his Mother. “It’s- It’s just- It’s not that great, you know?”
“I got a Board Member who’s trying to extort me, and a seller I can’t find-“ Michael set off through the house as he talked, “This whole real estate thing is a total mess, I have to hire a new secretary, I got dad completely-“ Lucille, who was falling behind, cut him off. “What, What did your father do? Did he try to screw something up for you again?” Raising an accusatory finger.
“No, No. He didn’t screw anything up.” Michael raps his finger against chest as he speaks. “I screwed something up, Mom. I-I did it, and Dad is just, you know, furious at me.” Michael turns to walk away again “And he should be, you know? He told me to pay off his brother, and I didn’t. Instead, I bought his worthless land.” Michael’s voice rising in pitch by the end of his spiel.
“With the lemons and the tanks?” Lucille stood back as Michael teetered on the edge of the living and dining room. “I know it!” He called out, back turned. Michael smoothed his hand across the edge of the dining table, “First investment I made with the company money, and it’s a total disaster.” When Michael finally turned around his mother was making slow steps towards him. “Then I went ahead and lied about it, which is gonna let this Board Member bring the company down.” He flung his hands while he talked, “I’m gonna ruin this family, Mom.”
Amongst his irate ranting, Michael missed his mother approaching him arms open. Getting sucked into an awkward hug. Michael stood stiff as Lucille’s arms wrapped around him, “What’s this? What’s happening?” She shushed Michael in return. “It’s going to be all right.” Her hands patting the back they were wrapped around. “Why are you squeezing me with your body?”
“It’s a hug Michael. I’m hugging you.” Lucille replied, her voice dropping an octave in annoyance. “Because you need your mother right now.”
“But I don’t get along with my- Sorry.” One of Michael’s hands loosely hung beside her back. “That was- That was a knee jerk.” Finally pulling back from the hug, Lucille looked at her son. “Michael. You made a mistake. You’re a human being.” She held each side of his arms as she spoke, “But you’re so forgiving to everyone else in this family. Try being forgiving to yourself. ..Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Michael’s mother let go of him, turning around and heading for the front door. “Let Mama take care of it.”
“No, No. Mom, Come on. I don’t want you to do anything.” He said, stepping after her, “Hey! This isn’t Algebra. I’m a big boy. Mother! Do not make somebody dis-“ but as the door swung closed he hung his head. “Disappear.”
While Lucille drove off to Oscar’s trailer, unbeknownst to her son, Michael headed back to the model home. And the next day, as Michael stepped out of office, he was quickly faced with his Mother once again.
“Hey, Mom! Hi. Uh, listen. I’m sorry about yesterday,” An arm rests upon her back as he leads her towards the conference room.
“It was a moment of weakness. Now I-I gotta go into this Board Meeting. I’m just gonna tell them the truth.” He stops a few feet from the door, facing her head on. “Kay’, If this guy Jordan wants to try to get me fired, then maybe I deserve it.”
“He’s gone.” She said bluntly, shaking her head, “We bought out his shares.” Michael’s eyes widened, face fixed with bewilderment. “With what?”
“With the money you tried to spend on that Lemon Grove.” Michael’s lips quirked into a smile despite the serious eyes still set on his mother.
“You got it back. How?” Lucille just smiled, pulling him into another, slightly awkward, hug. Shushing him to the tune of her pats once more.
After wrapping up with his mom, Michael headed into the board room with a new found confidence. Letting out a small sigh as he began to lay out his things, but quickly being cut off by a blaring, but familiar, voice. “All right. Let’s get this meeting started.” Michael looked up to none other than his mothers face staring back from the end of the table.
”Why have we been spending so much money on whistles?” She asked after pulling up her glasses.