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Hey, Sora. It’s me again… Uh Riku. I decided to come back down and say hi. I guess.
I don’t know. I just… light, I’m so frustrated right now. There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell someone, but I can’t just tell the Ki- shit uh… Mickey. Mickey. He wants me to call him Mickey.
Anyways, I can’t tell him even if I wanted to, it’s just… not something I think he would be good at. Or DiZ, fuck no - I would never speak a word of this to fucking DiZ! And I can’t go to… to Naminé...
So who better to tell then my childhood best friend who isn’t even conscious and definitely isn’t listening. I sound crazy when I say it out loud but… You were always easy to talk to. A good listener too. Felt like I could tell you anything and you would die before telling someone else.
What I wanted to talk about is that... well I’ve been... feeling things for Naminé . Can you believe that?
First off, I didn’t even think I was capable of… Well any strong attraction outside of the platonic sense. I mean sure, yeah, I’ve had that fleeting heart flutter of attraction I think, but like… never anything like this. This… Kingdom Hearts, this is a whole new experience. That whole thing with Kairi, I’ll be honest, was just because I thought it was funny. I was never attracted to her. You would get so flustered and it was absolutely hilarious. Kairi even told me once or twice that she found it funny as well so I mean that was just a whole tag team tease against you. I would say sorry but I’m not.
But now Naminé’s here and I’m rethinking my whole sexuality, which is just so thrilling. I haven’t exactly dwelled on it fully, just a lingering thought in all honesty. I’ll figure that out later, I’m not dealing with that now. Let me tell you.
Secondly, Naminé ? of all people? I’ve tried to reason with myself, saying she’s just the only person I’ve really had contact with in a while so of course my heart would latch onto her. And maybe I’m mistaking platonic desire for romantic desire, but then again I’ve never done that before and I can’t see myself ever doing that and- and-
Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know why, but when I’m around her she makes me want to hold her and never let go. I just want to spend my days endlessly with her. When she and I are hanging out I lose all sense of logic and just want to… light, I really don’t know how she’s able to toy with my feelings so much. It’s driving me fucking crazy! She makes me calm. So fucking relaxed and shit. I don’t know why I started escaping to her room in the first place but now I feel like I’m going crazy if I don’t see her at least once a day. Somehow she’s able to ease that pain within me, ease that darkness. It fades around her…
But the bad side of this all is… Sometimes late at night, I’ll think of her. And I’ll think of what happens to her. Roxas and Xion are bound to go back to you, become one again. So reasonably Namine is bound to go back to Kairi. And even though I shouldn’t, I imagine a world where we don’t wake you up. Where Roxas and Xion stay and so does Namine. I imagine what would happen then.
Kingdom Hearts, that’s horrible. But I just… I like her, so fucking much.
Fuck- Maybe I should say something, or do something ! I don’t know. It would be great to have you here to help me talk to her, since you know you and Kairi are pretty tight. And I swear you were always better with girls than I was. Better with anyone really.
…You know what? Fuck it, I’ll go for it. Live the real teenage boy experience by asking a girl out. Surely it can’t be that difficult?
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