Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

PART 1:

Nico di Angelo

Will had been laid in the Hades cabin, on Nico's bed. A few minutes ago,- at least it felt like a few minutes- Will had wandered into Cabin Thirteen aimlessly. They'd laid down on Nico's bed without speaking, and it had grown to be such a common ritual by that point that Nico hadn't been concerned by the behaviours.

Their body was splayed out like a starfish, something that they could distantly hear Nico snickering at from his desk. The blonde stared at the ceiling almost blankly, not quite paying attention to anything else in the room. Even when their boyfriend stood up and padded his way to the bed, fluffy socks making little noises against the Hades Cabin's hardwood flooring as he moved.

The first time that Will seemed to pay attention since entering was when Nico's cold hand placed against their cheek. They jumped slightly, green-tinted blue eyes watching frantically until registering that it was simply Nico. At seeing his presence, Will's body deflated and they relaxed back into the thick comforter.

Everything felt like they were underwater, vision glassy and hearing muddled. Will's blinked up at Nico, lips curving into a smile as he settled into the bed beside them. Cold, worn, war-calloused hands immediately slipped into Will's hair. Fingertips brushed against their scalp, drifting through the thick bundles of curls. They wanted to protest, to scold Nico that their hair would be all frizzy now. But Will couldn't muster the energy to speak.

"Hey, pretty boy. How're you doing?" Nico murmured, voice low and tender as his hands carded through Will's curls.

Will wanted to be happy about the way that Nico spoke to them, but one word drifted around their skull like a whisp of smoke that wouldn't force its way out of a set of lungs. It had them wanting to gouge their own eyes out, to vomit and curl into a ball and never be seen by anyone ever again. To shut off from the world and never let Nico see them, see their imperfections and their body.

Boy.
Boy.
Boy.
Boy.
The word made them sick. But Will couldn't even muster up tears for that day, they were unable to even be upset about the misuse. It wasn't Nico's fault, really, it was Will's. Anxiety still gnawed at them with the mere concept of explaining to Nico who they were, fear of rejection and fear of denial. So silence plagued Will's mind.

Giving an empty hum in response to Nico's question, Will shifted to nudge their head between Nico's jaw and neck.

Even if today felt like shit, even if guilt crept up on Will like a serpent... this was nice.

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PART 2:

Percy Jackson.

Will yawned as they wandered through the Infirmary. It was a slow day today, so they didn't have much to get done. Kayla was sat at the Infirmary's front desk, head lolling against her forearms as she took a nap. Will walked towards her, tugging off their flannel and folding it up to slip underneath her head. Will wouldn't want Kayla getting bruises on her head from the cold marble surface, she already bruised easy enough. Lee used to call Kayla his 'Little Peach' as a joke because of it. None of them ever forgot that nickname.

Austin was somewhere in the back, likely going over the Camp's Nectar and Ambrosia stock to make sure of their supplies. If they didn't have enough, then it would be up to Will to ask Chiron for a new shipment from Hermes and Apollo. He was always so focused on keeping the Camp in order. Will really needed to check in on him, make sure that he was alright. They made a mental note in their head to have a chat with him before it hit Lights-Out that night.

Abruptly, the door to the Infirmary flew open. Kayla's head jolted up, hair wild as she glanced about. Her eyes landed on the figure in the door at the same time that Will's did:
Perseus Jackson.

Both Healer and Archer relaxed upon realizing who it was, Will offering Percy a casual wave. In return they were given a bright grin and a friendly arm slung around their shoulders, Percy beginning to ramble away as he led Will through the Infirmary. He was recounting the tale of the currently horribly bandaged cut on his leg.

"And so I tell Leo that if he can beat me in a fight, then I owe him 50 Drachmas. And guess what?"

"You lost 50 Drachmas to Leo?"

"I lost 50 Drachmas to Leo! I don't really mind, like. But it's a bummer to lose so many Drachmas, you get me?" Percy laughed, loud and boisterous as it ever was when he spoke.

Will nodded along to Percy's ramblings. They stopped paying attention to the Son of Poseidon's words as they led him to a cot, giving a gesture to have him sit down. Percy did as told, shifting back so that he could prop his leg up. Gentle hands rolled up the man's pant leg, beginning to unwind the layers of thick cotton bandages that had obviously been carelessly wrapped around the wound. Will winced as they caught a glimpse of the cut, the blood having only dried marginally. As they removed the bandages, blood stuck and peeled akin to a spider's web or thickened glue. It looked extremely painful, and yet Percy didn't flinch.

At this point, Will had mostly zoned out whilst they focused on patching up the cut. Hands moving like a well-oiled machine, they worked on what they had to. Re-opening the wound using a scalpel to disinfect the entire area, Will knew just how hard it was to disinfect after blood had already clotted around an area. Then they worked on bandaging the injury, tuning back in only when they offered Percy a piece of Ambrosia once finished. Then Will stood up, stretching and cracking their back.

"You and Nico have gotten so big lately! It's so weird- I swear you two were still babies last time I talked to you!" Percy rambled, and Will took a mental pause.

Big? Will understood what Percy meant, in reference to Nico. As of late, their boyfriend had finally gotten his long-awaited growth spurt. Years of malnutrition and stress had finally melted away enough for Nico's body to really grow in. Though, the height shift from 5'6 to 6'1 had been so bad that he'd had to get knee surgery a few months ago. Nico now used a cane for his strange gait, but Will was somewhat convinced that he only used it for the aesthetics that it gave to him. But what did Percy mean when talking about Will themselves?

Will hadn't grown in a long while, they still stood at a solid 5'10 and that had not changed. Sure, physically a few things about Will had become different. They'd grown out their hair to be a little bit longer and had finally stopped trying to burn it straight. Will's demeanour had dropped slightly, less willing to upkeep their constant joyous persona after Tartarus and the events that it had brought. They'd also put on a little bit of weight since Tartarus, using stress eating as a coping mechanism. They were nowhere near an unhealthy weight, Will always did their best to keep fit. But that was the only context that Will could see that fitting into.

Insecurity hit Will like a freight train, and they curled an arm around their stomach as they spoke.

"Yeah, Starshine's gotten super tall lately... it's freaky! Gods, he's taller than me." Will laughed, putting on a front to avoid the whispers that peeked through their mind. Will cleared their throat, turning away and wishing Percy a goodbye. Just quickly enough that they didn't get to hear Percy's last comment.

"You've gotten taller too, lately. At least it looks like you have! Oh- er... bye, then?" Percy murmured as Will left, wondering to himself what that had been about.

But Will was too far gone to have registered Percy's misunderstanding.

A/N.: Topics of [Implied] Eating Disorders, Body Dysmorphia and Gender Dysphoria are continued from below here. Read at your own discretion.

Will was stood in the Apollo Cabin bathrooms. They were stood before a full-length mirror, shirtless and clothed only in shorts and ankle socks. There was a frown tugging at their lips as they stared at their own reflection. Had Will really put on that much weight? The scales had shown that Will had only gained 10 pounds since Tartarus, that was healthy! It was completely normal, they were a growing teenager. But Will couldn't help the way that they poked at their stomach, tugging at the excess skin that hung slightly underneath their jaw, at the baby fat that refused to leave their cheeks. Their thighs were so thick, and just seeing the stretch marks that ran along the edges had Will feeling sick.

Nico often complimented Will's body, using it as a pillow to nap on whenever he got tired in inconvenient scenarios. But what if he was just being nice? Nico had grown out of his people pleasing tendencies a while ago, but there were still some aspects that stuck with him. Will glanced back up at the mirror, crossing their arms over their chest as they continued to scrutinize their appearance.

They looked so masculine, too. All of Will's attempts at making themselves present more androgynous had failed, and they still looked like a boy. Everyone called them a boy, it was always He, Bro, Man, Dude. Their friends never meant it maliciously, it was only Kayla and Austin who actually knew about Will's identity. But that didn't make it ache any less.

Everything from that day had built up, and as Will stared at themselves, nausea built up in their chest. Their body was so wrong, everything about it. So much was wrong, and Will just wanted to shut themselves off from the world. Hand curling into a fist, rage and anguish and fear and sorrow overwhelmed them. Hot tears welled in the back of Will's eyes, and within moments they'd became a sobbing mess.

Fuck this. Fuck today. Fuck everything.

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PART 3:

Naomi Solace.

Today was going to be a good day! Will hoped, at least.

Their mama was on tour, and Cabin Seven had been given permission to watch her Interview on the old, rackety, 80's style TV that Camp Half-Blood had. It was mainly used by Mr. D for when Chiron wasn't around to play Pinochle with him, but he'd let Will borrow it as long as they did him some favours later. Sometimes, it was a good thing being known as the 'Errand Kid' for Camp.

Flopping into one of the more comfortable chairs in the Big House, Will tucked their legs under their form. Within an instant, two other bodies rammed into their sides. Will laughed, worming their arms out of the grips so that they could wind them around Kayla and Austin's shoulders. Pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads, Will pulled both of them to their chest. They could feel Austin's eyelids flutter shut against their collarbone, Kayla giving a hum as she snuggled closer. Warmth pooled in their chest at how their siblings acted.

The three had settled, cuddling up together, until the clock had reached 6pm. The time of the interview. Will reached over, grabbing the remote control from the table beside the couch. It was a little hard, reaching over Austin's head to reach it, but they managed. Will flickered through the channels, until they found it. Interview with Naomi Marie Solace, famous Alt-Country Singer.

"Hello folks!" The Announcer's voice was full of stage-born excitement, small creases under his eyes that showed the genuine nature of his smile. "I'm Nathan Davis, and with me, we have the lovely Naomi Solace, famous Alt-Country singer!"

Naomi seemed just as bright as the last time Will had seen her face, though there were small grey curls blooming around her hairline, they only added to her charm.

"Oh, please, you flatter me Nathan. It's my pleasure to be here." Naomi chirped back, laughing as she swept some of her blonde locks behind her ear. Her eyes flickered to the camera, and her smile dropped to something more subtle. Directed to Will, and only Will. "And I do hope that my sweetie's watchin' this, from all the way back in Long Island.

"Ah, yes! That is actually what I was going to bring up, Mrs. Solace." Nathan cleared his throat, crossing one leg over the other and leaning forwards. "Many fans have been speculating about your son, Will Solace. You said that he currently lives with an Uncle, and helps run a Summer Camp?"

Will cringed slightly. Being referred to as a he on the daily basis, around Campers, was fine. But being called a male on national television? It made their jaw tighten. Kayla's weight against their chest increased as she nudged her head underneath Will's chin, yawning. They ran a hand through her ginger hair, refocusing on the TV.

"Ah, yes! Th-... he, indeed does live with an Uncle, on his father's side. Will is also going to University soon! He's hoping on becoming a Doctor, like his half-brother." Naomi picked at the skin around her shiny blue nails, a habit that seemed normal to anyone else, but Will knew that it was anxious.

They couldn't help the disgust that bubbled up in their chest at their own mother calling them a boy. Will knew it was their own fault, they'd asked their mother to not expose their identity as best as she could. But that didn't mean that their chest didn't feel hollow everytime someone called them a he, every mention of masculinity about them.

Austin gave Will a sad look that they didn't catch, frowning. He always knew whenever Will felt like this, insecurity and self-dislike washing over their body like a blanket. He moved to cup his older sibling's cheek, pressing a small kiss against their temple. A silent reassurance, he was still here. Kayla was still here. The two would never leave their side. The blonde merely gave a tired laugh, returning the affection with a peck to Austin's hairline. The interview kept rolling.

"An honourable profession! Do you think we'll be seeing any more of your son in the near future, Mrs. Solace?" Nathan asked, the expression in his eyes genuine. He was the type of person that Will knew they would've gotten along with.

"Oh, gosh, no! Will... he's always preferred to stay in the background. And I wouldn't have him any other way. They're my pride and joy, my little drop of sunshine." Naomi slipped slightly, but cleared her throat to hide her mistake and swiftly continued. "Though, if anyone watching has seen any of my song releases on Spotify, Will is credited within the entire album of 'Nightlight'. He wrote most of the lyrics."

The screen goes black. Will looked startled, glancing to Kayla, who held the remote in her hand limply, thumb hovering over the button to flick the TV off. She gave them a mere shrug, flopping back down to resume her position. Will did relax, though, slumping slightly. They knew they'd be getting a call from Camp Half-Blood's phone soon, Naomi's frantic apologies likely prepared on the tip of her tongue as she'd spoken.

So, maybe the day hadn't turned out exactly as glamorously as Will had anticipated.

But, the warm weight of Kayla and Austin against their chest made it a little bit more bearable.