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We Are Team Fortress 2, And You Are Dead

Summary:

Low-lives. Psychopaths. Lunatics. Morons. Bottom-Scrapers. The laughing stock of the mercenary world.

It's nothing that they haven't heard before, and honestly none of them could give two shakes of a rat's ass. They had their assignments, they got paid, they were all lucky enough to be part of a team that actually tolerated each other, and that's all that really mattered.

Unfortunately for them, some people took those words to heart more than they did, and decided to do something about it.

Permanently.

Chapter 1: Meet The Mercs

Notes:

This is just an excuse to write TF2 mercenary whump. Also, the comics recently came out and I'm feeling butthurt for numerous reasons so I want to write a story where the mercs of TF2 each get their own showdown with their counterparts.

I can't say this will be a canon divergence to the comics, since I'm going to be leaving out a lot of characters that are canon to the comics and the plot is very, very loosely based on it.

Going into this, expect character interactions of the homoerotic variety but probably no shipping (maybe).

As always, hope you guys enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

>>

Digital-7


 

              >>>> Digital-7 Italic  

  • Name: Jeremy Willis 

            - CN: "The Scout"

            - Age: 27 

            - Height: 175 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Unknown; Placeholder: "Jane Doe"  

            -CN: "The Soldier"

            - Age: 50 

            - Height: 181 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Unknown

            - CN: "The Pyro"

            - Age: Unknown 

            - Height: 177 cm

            - Status: Alive

               ---

 

              >>>> Digital-7 Italic  

  • Name: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

            - CN: "The Demoman"

            - Age: 33 

            - Height: 188 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Mikhail

            - CN: "The Heavy"

            - Age: 53 

            - Height: 200 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Dell Conagher 

            - CN: "The Engineer"

            - Age: 40 

            - Height: 168 cm

            - Status: Alive

---

               >>>>Digital-7 Italic

  • Name: Herbert Ludwig

            - CN: "The Medic"

            - Age: 56 

            - Height: 185 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Mick Mundy

            - CN: "The Sniper"

            - Age: 29 

            - Height: 193 cm

            - Status: Alive

  • Name: Unknown

            - CN: "The Spy"

            - Age: 45 

            - Height: 183 cm

            - Status: Alive


The screen flickers periodically, rolling like a wave of technicolor behind a thin pane of glass. 

The room is dark, illuminated only by the grey screen lit brightly in the middle of the large warehouse. 

Someone steps forward, the heels of his shoes clacking against the concrete, quick and steady. 

"Do you all understand your assignments?" the man with loud shoes states, his question echoing behind him. 

No one answers, but suddenly the warehouse echoes with noise.

Equipment shuffling.

Clothes rubbing against itself. 

A rifle cocks and a bullet clatters against the ground.

Bang

The screen explodes with a blast of glass and electric sparks. It crackles and spits color, blinking furiously and fluttering like a dying butterfly. 

The names glitch and expand before fading a snap second after. The screen dies with lingering fanfare, smoke drifting ominously away from the mechanical corpse and its newly acquired bullet hole embedded at its heart.  

An old man chuckles, amused and satisfied all at once. 

"Excellent." 

Notes:

What's up!

Let me know what you guys think of this opening