Chapter Text
Maybe you just said the wrong thing. Maybe you just have to approach them in a different way, and then it'll all be fine.
…
You can help them, right?
Like, you're not just going to always be on the brink of stopping Siffrin from looping, right? There's a way out, right?
…
You're not completely useless, right? There must be something you can do, right? There has to be a way for you to stop Sif from looping, right?
But then what? If you manage to keep Siffrin from looping, then what? Would you be able to continue going through the House with them? Would you be able to do it? Are you going to be weird because you’re not going to be your goofy self? Would you be able to smile if you knew what was happening?
Now that you actually know what you were like during the loops, are you satisfied? You're not a coward, but are you proud of yourself? Is reaching out, but not being good enough truly better than not having reached out at all?
Maybe you're thinking about it too hard. Maybe you should just keep trying and then see what happens and improvise! Yeah! If you manage to convince Sif not to loop, then you could find out new things about this situation you're in! Or maybe that's the worst choice you could make. Maybe if you convinced him to not loop, then something would go wrong. Really, really wrong.
He didn't want your help in past loops, did he? He pushed you away. You're still wondering why.
“Well, Isa, guess you were right!”
You jolt. You didn't even realize that you were somewhere new. Siffrin is standing in front of a row of tears.
You were right? About what?
“I really should have listened to you.”
They're slowly shaking their head like they made a very avoidable and silly mistake. Your mind tells you that they’re talking about past loops, about you trying to stop them before touching a tear or before their dagger… Your gut tells you that they're talking about something else, but you don't know what, so you can't listen to your gut right now.
“Mira, is it too late to join the Beauty Alliance?”
“Oh? You want to backstab your allies? What a twist! Join the dark, but pretty side!!”
“Siffrin, how could you? After all the years and adventures we shared… I thought what we had was special.”
“Frin!!! You can't do that!!! We don't have another crabbing Crest! You're stuck with me and Dile whether you like it or not!”
…
Oh! You should say something now! It’s your turn!
…
What are you meant to say?
It's like everyone is in on some inside joke you don't know about. They look at you strangely, because usually you have some joke to say, but you really don't know what to say, and you don't feel like joking right now.
“Uh… Yeah! What they said!”
Flawless recovery. Good job, Isabeau. Really outdid yourself with that one. Ignore the fact that they're all looking at you weird. Don't think about it. Stop it. You panicked, everyone panics sometimes, right? Right! This is fine.
“I don't need a Crest to go out with style, Bonnie!”
Oh, thank Change Sif said something, now they're looking at him and not you. He smiles and twirls into a majestic pose. They hit a tear as they extend an arm and everyone is gone again.
…
Oh.
Right.
…
You still have no idea what they were talking about. It would have been nice to know what the joke was about, you bet you would have found it funny.
God, Isabeau, what are you even saying? Wanting to laugh at a time like this? How could you? What is wrong with you? Siffrin froze right in front of you, and you want something to laugh at? You’re sick.
You slap your face.
Get your head in the game. Try to help Siffrin, that's what you're here for, after all. Try again and don’t mess it up this time!
And don't think about what Sif was talking about. Don't think about what you might have been right about. Please, Isa, don't do this to yourself. You said you weren't a coward, so stop acting like one.
“Ok, so… Next key should be on the left, that opens up the library, second key should be in there and then we can open up a door on the right side, get the Star Crest, get rid of the tears, and then. Get. The last. Key!”
Siffrin says, more to himself than you. Since they're not technically talking to you, you don't say anything about the fact that you don't need to get rid of any tears to get the last key. If you say that, will they avoid going to the library? Yeah, you're not gonna say anything, maybe Siffrin forgot about you wanting to go to the library.
You're still silent as you follow them. You don't know if you prefer the silence or hearing them trying to make a joke to lighten up the mood.
They stop in front of a room and look into it, but don't say anything.
It's weird seeing him like this. They're barely blinking and staring intently into the room. The door is open, so you also look in.
It looks like a gardening room. Towering frozen plants stare down at you, a tall closet tries to hide in a corner, but is taking up too much space. There's other plants around and it's really tight. You don't know why Siffrin is having such a strange reaction to this room. Maybe you're missing something? You follow their gaze.
…
Oh, shrimp.
Now that you know what you're looking at, you feel a chill go up your spine.
There is a dead person in the middle of the narrow space between the wall and the table. They're wearing a darkless cloak and wide hat, and there is a large stain on their chest. Their body is slumped against a wall, one leg is tucked up to their chest, foot against the table, while the other is laying under it. One of their arms is next to them, the other is on their lap, holding a bloody dagger.
You want to run, but you're stuck. You want to look away, but you can't.
You're not stupid. You know why there's blood on that dagger. You know how that person died. Honestly, you'd like to be stupid right now. You'd like to look at this and see a reversed egg, but you can't. You see a person. You see a dead person. You see a dead Siffrin.
The most frightening part of it all is their expression.
When you scraped your knee earlier, it hurt. You can't imagine what Siffrin felt when they stabbed themselves with the dagger. You especially can't imagine why they'd be smiling. It's not a scary smile, it's a fond smile. One you'd get when seeing a really big and fluffy dog. His eye is also smiling, but there's no life in it. You've never seen the eye of a dead person. It's like cutting a beautiful cake open, only to find that there's nothing inside, just frosting on air.
“Is there a key in here?”
You ask in a single breath, voice shaky and eyes not looking away. Siffrin (the real one. The one that you somewhat trust. The one that still breathes) startles. They turn to you and notice that you're looking in the room. He moves in front of you, blocking the corpse from your vision. You're still staring at where it was, but now you see the two pins on their cloak. You can't bring yourself to look up or anywhere else.
He takes a breath in, and out.
“No, no keys in here.”
You can't reply. You can't move. Maybe you can't breathe.
You see his cloak move. The collar is darkless and not bloody. They're fine. There’s no stain or anything on their cloak. You think you see their mouth move, but you can't hear them. You can't really hear anything. Everything feels like it's moving slowly and quickly. The room is spinning. You’re lightheaded.
Woah, it's cramp in here!
The size of the room drags you away from your thoughts. Oh, crab, you hadn't even realized you were going on a hypothetical brain tangent again!
You're in a gardening room? You'd have expected gardening classes to be outside, and it's a little weird that there's not a lot of room for the plants to grow, but you're not here to judge the House of Dormont's room layout.
What you’re here for is Siffrin. You feel them poke you. Weird! You don't react, since every time you did something really bad happened. (Maybe you are a coward after all)
Siffrin takes a deep breath in, and out, bending over a little. Should you do something now…? You look to the others.
Mira’s looking at a couple of plants pensively. Bonbon's looking at those same plants with disdain. Odile is looking at you with a puzzled expression. Ok. You have her attention. You point to Sif. She looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
Right. How are you meant to tell her that Sif's looping in time without telling her that Sif's been looping in time? Well, you could say it, actually, you haven't tried it yet, maybe it'll work!
Or maybe it'll make things worse. Way, way worse. Is that really a risk you're willing to take?
Before you can answer that question, you see Siffrin turn to you all. He has an unreadable expression on his face. He's contemplating something. He's looking at each of you. You turn to Odile again. She's looking at you with a quizzical yet concerned expression, as if she can tell that something is wrong.
You should just tell her. She'll know what to do, or at least she'll be less hesitant than you. That’s the thing you admire about her, she's not afraid of doing what she thinks is right. You’ll be too busy thinking about all sides of a situation. As a matter of fact, you’re still unsure whether Siffrin will be ok with you or if they'd hate you if you told Odile of their situation. You turn to look at them.
They're looking at you, staring right into your soul. Their one eye looks tired, hungry– no, starving, for what you're not sure.
They walk past you again, not poking this time, just brushing by. You don’t react. Siffrin laughs, low and empty.
You look at Odile, because if you can’t do anything maybe she can? Maybe she'll be able to act? Or maybe you're just avoiding responsibility and trying to make her do something so that if she messes up you won't have to blame yourself. She's looking at you with serious concern. She takes a step towards you, even though it's Siffrin she should be worried about.
That’s when you hear it. That choked sound you've heard before. That stab.
You look at Siffrin, they're holding onto the table. You should move. You really, really should move and do something, anything.
“Frin? You okay?”
Bonbon is the first to notice. Bonbon. They touch Siffrin's side to check up on them. Siffrin sighs, it comes out high pitched and painful. Now everyone is looking at them. You can't see their face, but you can imagine what their neck looks like.
“Siffrin? What's–”
Mira looks at his face. You've never seen her more scared in your life. She takes a step back and covers her mouth. Her eyes look like they're about to pop out of her head. Siffrin looks down. She reaches towards his face. You hear him exhale. They almost sound happy.
“S–Siffrin!!”
Bonbon's trying to move around to see why Mira's so upset, but Odile moves in the way. As soon as she sees his face, she tenses up and puts her arm out. Siffrin's arm bends on the table, unable to hold his weight, and he is now being held up by Odile. You think you hear him chuckle.
And you? You're just watching. You're standing there watching him bleed out while your friends surround him. Mirabelle is holding their cheeks, Bonbon's touching their arm, Odile is holding onto them, and Siffrin is smiling fondly.
You realize you're the only one who isn't near Siffrin. The only one who isn't touching him. You all thought he was touch averse, but now you know he isn't. Is that why he stabbed himself? Was he that desperate for touch? And when you tried to touch them in prior loops, they pushed you away, so you don't want to risk anything. (Looks like you still are a coward after all)
They look at you, and that hunger that you saw is replaced with disappointment as their smile slowly fades.
That's when you move. When you finally put your hand on his shoulder. Siffrin looks at you, then at nothing, and they smile. They try to reach their hands out, but they don't have the strength to do anything, so they just melt into the touch and smile.
Then Odile is gone, and so are the others, and you have to move so Siffrin doesn’t fall face first into the ground even though you know they're dead. They're still smiling when you grab them from under their armpits. They're still smiling when you gently make them lean on a wall and sit on the floor. They're still smiling when you go to close their eye, but you can't do it in time and you end up in another place again.
You're sitting down now. When did you– Your head hurts. You take in your surroundings. There's lightless bricks all around you, and a darkless figure sitting down in front of you. It's a person wearing an eyepatch. Siffrin. Right. His name is Siffrin. He's looking at you with a worried expression. Everything looks hazy though, you blink and everything looks normal again. You feel something wet on your cheek. Oh, a tear! You must be crying.
“Chou, can you hear me?”
Chou… Right. That's the nickname they gave you. Right.
You're still shaking, you can't really talk so you don't. You just look at them. You remember the fact that you just saw a dead body. They move an inch closer to you, and that's enough for your body to react.
You break. You sob and you can't stop sobbing. You reach out towards them and hug them. You hold them as tight as you can. You're still shaking. You want to go home. You're scared, and you just saw a dead person, and you don't know if you want to be here anymore.
Siffrin flinches. You should let go, but you can't make your body listen. It doesn't look like they like the hug. You have to hold onto something, though, and Siffrin is the closest huggable thing.
You regret joining them, but you're glad they're here. Would it really have been worse if you had walked away? If you had never come into the House in the first place? Was this really the best choice?
Siffrin hugs you back. They don't squeeze you, but their touch is grounding. Are you forcing them to hug you back? Are you making them uncomfortable? Oh, shrimp, you gotta stop crying, they have to continue, right? They have to keep going through the House, and– and
“ ’m sorry…”
“Don't be, it's not your fault.”
But you are sorry. You're sorry for being a weight, for slowing them down, for crying, for not doing anything other than following. You're sorry they have to see this. It's already bad for you, you can't imagine what their mind is going through.
And you looked, you weren't meant to look. It's your fault. Siffrin stopped you from getting into a room on the last floor, probably because a corpse was in there, and he didn't want you to see it, but now you saw it! You weren't meant to see it! Siffrin must be so mad at you, oh, shrimp.
“I’m sorry you saw that.”
You know, you know, you know you weren't meant to see it, but you did!! Why are they sorry, they should be furious!
“I–I’m sorrier.”
“Don't be, you're being really brave.”
Yeah, because crying into a semi-stranger's shoulder after seeing their corpse is a perfect synonym for brave. You cry harder.
They don't say anything after that. They just hold you as you pathetically cry and cry. You can't say anything either, you just try to breathe between your sobs.
You want to go home.
The library will make them feel better. Surely.
You've decided to up the physical contact with Chou, and are now holding their hand as you walk. The gardening room reminded you… how important touch is.
Stars, you shouldn't have stared into that room. You feel horrible. You can't let that happen again.
You just gotta get through two more floors, and once you have the key to the library you'll basically be halfway through! It's not that bad! You still don't know how you got here and everything, but if you make it to the top of the House, then it'll be over, right?
You should just focus on getting the key for now, no need to spiral. You'll just walk into this hallway and then in the Head Housemaiden's office and get the key. Then go to the library, etcetera etcetera you've been here, you know how it goes.
…
Ah.
Right.
The key to the library. The key that's in the Head Housemaiden's office. The key that's taped under the desk. That key.
“Um… Siffrin?”
“Yes, Chou?”
“Is the key to the library in that room?”
“Yep.”
“The one behind that boulder?”
“Yep.”
“And…” She looks over to a couple of frozen-yous. “You can't get the key if a boulder’s in front of the door, right?”
“Yep.”
…
Oh, would you look at the time! It’s sitting-on-the-floor o'clock!
You exhale, sit on the ground, and run a hand through your hair.
Ohhhhh this is awesome. This is just great, isn't it? You can't get the key to go to the library! You can't get something to help Chou deal with the horrors happening all around you! And you made it worse by making her see your corpse! Haha! Way to go Siffrin!
Oh.
Oh, no.
You don't have the key to the library.
If you don't have the key to the library, then you can't open the door with the tears. If you can't open the door with the tears, then you can't get to the trap building room. If you can't get to the trap building room, then you can't get the key. If you can't get the key, then you can't open the main door. If you can't open the main door, then you can't progress. If you can't progress, you're stuck here. And you can't loop back. And, worst of all, Chou is also stuck with you.
You inhale heavily and shakily. This is bad. This is bad, bad, bad. You're stuck. There's no tears to loop back, but you should still have your dagger, so i– Siffrin. Stars. No. No, not when all of this is happening, not when Chou knows, you've already scared them enough as is.
“Um… Siffrin?”
And they don't even know they're stuck! They're stuck here with you and they don't even know. You're gonna have to tell them eventually. You're gonna make them cry again, and maybe they'll hate you.
Stars, this can't be happening. You wipe a tear. Oh, you're already crying! Great!
“It's ok if we can't go to the library. The other key is on the other side of the floor, right? The one to get to the next floor?”
Ha. She thinks this is about the library. Adorable.
You look at her. She's trying to give you a reassuring look. You could cry even harder.
You look away from them and take multiple deep breaths in, and out, and in, and out. You can't tell them. You really, really can't tell them now.
Maybe you're misremembering things! Maybe the key leads to the Star Crest room and not the corridor with the rows of tears ! Or maybe the door is already open! Deep breath in, and out.
You don't feel good about this, but you’re going to lie. Or at least, you're not going to mention this until you're sure you're stuck.
You take another deep breath in, and out. You wipe your eyes, look up for three seconds while exhaling, sniff, smile, and look at Chou.
They moved towards the locked door, trying to open it. Behind them are multiple Siffrin ice statues. The thought of looping is tempting. You put your hand on your hip on instinct. There's nothing there. There's– Where'd your dagger–? Oh, Stars. Did you drop it somewhere? Did you–
“Oh, yeah, it's super locked!”
Oh. You definitely dropped it when you were with the Change God.
But it's a good thing! You won't be tempted! You won't slip up! No dagger means no loop! No bleeding out in front of a kid who already knows you've done that!
“Um… Siffrin?”
Still. Not having a dagger feels wrong.
Maybe you can sneak into the gardening room to get the scissors? Oh, but they’re not gonna be in there because you already got them and WHY WOULD YOU BE THINKING ABOUT THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE???
“Sif?”
You gasp and look at them. You weren't expecting them to call you that.
“S-Sorry!!! Do you not like being called Sif?”
Ah! They called you that again!
“Haha, no, it's fine! I just– Didn't expect you to call me that…”
“...Ok… So, should we go to the other side now?”
Closer to your demise? Sure, what could go wrong! You smile.
“Yeah, why not?”
You stop Siffrin before they can touch a tear. You put your hand on their shoulder, they kind of pivot around that spot until they bump into you.
Ok. Cool. Now what.
Siffrin stares into nothing blankly.
“Um. Sif?”
They don't respond. You doubt they heard you. You stopped them from touching a tear and they didn't even flinch though, which is a pretty important step forward!
“Hey, Siffrin?”
Still no response. You kneel down so you're making eye contact, but his face is completely blank. You snap your fingers in front of him. He doesn't even blink.
This hasn't happened before. This is quite scary, actually!
“Is Siffrin feeling better?”
Mira whispers next to you. You startle.
“Mira! Woah! Hey! Um, what do you mean?”
You look at her. She's looking at Siffrin with a sad look on her eyes. Then she turns to you, confused.
“He's been acting strange since last afternoon, Isabeau. We already talked about this in the clocktower last night.” She squints and then her face drops. “Are you also starting to act weird? Is the King's curse getting worse?” She takes a step back and raises her voice a little.
“N–No, Mira, it's not that!! I– I uh–” Crab. Yeah. You gotta tell her, what other choice do you have? “Mira I– I think I know what's wrong with Sif.”
“You do!?” She gets closer to you and grabs your hands. Mira hand grab!
“Yeah, but, um.” You look at Siffrin. They're still there. Still out of it. Still hovering. It doesn't look like they're listening. Ok. You've made up your mind: you're gonna tell Mira about Siffrin looping in time. She's your best friend, and she reads all those weird horror stories, right? Something like this must have happened in one of those books!
You inhale, and look at her.
“I think Sif's stuck in a time loop.” Well. You're sure of it, but if you said it with more certainty, then you'd be the weird one, and she won't believe you. No, she has to believe you, you're going to help Siffrin this time whether they want to or not.
You look to the side, you don't want to know what Mira looks like as you tell her this. You also let go of her hands to gesticulate and so you can get some pent up energy and stress out. You're doing something that might make things a lot worse, after all! It's scary!
“I just– Ok. Mira. I know I literally just said that I think Siffrin's looping in time, but it's more like I'm sure of it? And– And I guess I can tell you why I know that, but that'd be a lot longer and– And right now it's Siffrin the one I'm worried about. They made a whole Wish thing with ancient Craft because they don't want to separate from us after we defeat the King. And it might sound really cute, but haha! It really isn’t! Oh, Crab, I should tell them that we also want to stay with them next time. But there won't be a next time, don't worry about that haha! We should actually tell them right now! So, um. Yeah, I’ll– I'll tell you why I know later, but you just gotta trust me on this, ok? And, um, if you don't believe me I totally get it, haha! Maybe I'm also. Losing it a little. Ah no, forget I said that, it's uh…”
You sigh. You're not making any sense. You're saying the first thing that comes into your mind and it's all wrong and you're making this about you, but it's about Siffrin and!!! And… And Mira's your best friend. You've seen her cry and be honest and you've always been there for her. It's ok to be honest with her too. It's probably good.
“Mira, I'm scared. I don't– I don’t know if I can help them. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't know if I even can do the right thing, but I just– This whole thing is disorienting, and it hurts, and I can't do anything, and, and–” Crab, just talking about it made it worse, but at least Mira's here. You can't wait to give her a hug. “Crab I’m sorry I– I'm glad you're here, Mira.” You look up at her. She must think you're crazy rambling like th
…
You've been talking to the air this whole time.
Ok, Isa, deep breath.
Yep. Hold it in. Hold those tears in too, buddy. Don't exhale, that's gonna sound like a sob, buddy!
Oh, who are you kidding, you failed again. You hug your arms and crouch down to the ground, letting yourself cry.
So you're alone in this. So you can't help them. So you can't do anything.
No, wait– There is one thing you can do! When you were rambling you mentioned Sif's Wish, right? You could tell them that you'll stay with them! Yeah! Next time you'll do that! Ok! Come on, Isa, don't give up! You still got it!
You wipe your tears, and take a couple more deep breaths, but you're still shaking. You flap your hands a little, hoping that it'll help. It kind of does.
Isabeau!!! You can still help them!!!! You can!! Come on!!! Don’t give up!!!
Siffrin's been weird. Weirder than normal. They must be really upset about the fact that you couldn't get to the library. You are a little bummed out about it, but you're sure you'll find some other fun stuff around the House!
You're on the other side of the floor now, in front of a door at the end of a hallway. Siffrin tries to open it, but it's locked.
“Did you miss a key?”
They don't reply. You don't say anything. Their hands are shaking on the handle. You hear them breathing in and out.
“Um… We can go back to look for it if you missed it. Stuff like that happens sometimes.”
You've misplaced plenty of objects before, this is kind of the same thing, right?
Their grip on the handle tightens, then they let go and stand up tall.
“Oh! Right! The key’s in the classroom!! Haha!!!”
They turn to you with the fake smile they've had since the room before the library. You've got a bad feeling about this.
There was a key in the classroom. You spent some time looking around, since it looked like Siffrin didn't want you to see them upset and they needed some time. You looked around at the books in the classroom. It looked like some more advanced stuff than what you were studying, but that was to be expected. You're still in school, you're not a Housemaiden. You will be though, probably. You've gotten good grades your whole life, and that's what everyone in your family expects you to do. Continue your studies, go to a House, Change, etcetera etcetera.
It's nice to know that you already have a path to follow! You're good at studying, so you should continue doing that. Maybe you'll even be a teacher? Oh, but that would involve being a little mean sometimes. You couldn't do that! So you'll just study? People do that for a living, right?
You look at a pile of books. They're about various subjects. Ooooh maybe you could look at one of them since you couldn't go to the library? You excitedly look at the covers. Mathematics, geography, Crafting, art, sewing, cooking… That's a lot of subjects!
Are you going to have to study them all if you become a Housemaiden? Er, when you become a Housemaiden (what else are you good for?)
Maybe you can just focus on one subject? You open the book on sewing. You're used to having your older siblings’ clothes, and sometimes they're a little worn, so knowing how to mend clothes on your own would be very useful.
You flip through the pages. It's definitely not for people your age, since it uses a lot of complicated and specific words, but you could figure them out.
You think about it a little bit more. None of the clothes you're wearing now are technically your own. They all belonged to your older siblings, and then they'll be your younger siblings' when you grow out of them. Wouldn't it be nice to have something that belonged to you? Sure, you could go and buy some new clothes, but it wouldn't be the same.
The book you’re reading doesn't mention anything about making your own clothes, but it does have a list of a few other books for more advanced stuff at the end. You should write them down somewhere for later! You take a pen and some paper out of your backpack and write the titles and authors on a blank page.
As you make sure that your backpack is organized again, you realize a few things. Number one: you might not be able to find those books. Sure, the library you go to in Jouvente is very big, but will you be able to go there? Will you make it out of this place? Will you be able to make it home? You don't think you want to think about it.
The second thing you're thinking about is related to sewing and fashion in general. You never really thought about it in too much detail, but it is something you find really interesting. You remember waiting to grow taller so that you could wear your older sibling's clothes when you would fit them. You've always been careful about what you wore.
Take the clothes you're wearing now as an example! There's no uniform policy at your school, but you still wanted to dress semi-formally for it. You care about your education, and you wanted your clothes to reflect that. Your appearance is one of the few things you have control over, and you love learning about sewing and stitching.
Huh. Maybe you could be a tailor? But you're already good at studying, so why should you try something new? Yeah, you should just stick to what you know. Maybe you could sew as a hobby, some of your classmates knit in class, you could do that too!
You look at the board. There's doodles on the corner, some of them make you giggle. Someone wrote something on it! You wonder if it's gonna be a funny joke.
‘Don't stay with your mistakes! Don't be afraid to start over!’
Huh! That's a good thing to keep in mind you guess!
Ok. It's been long enough, time to look back to Siffrin and continue with whatever this is.
Oh.
Was choosing going through the House a mistake?
…
Maybe, but it's too late to start over. You've already gotten so far and you're getting better at this. Well, except for when you saw a corpse, but that was an exception. Plus! You're better now, it's Siffrin who looks worse.
Siffrin, who is holding a key and staring at nothing while gripping the corners of the desk and breathing heavily.
Looks like they haven't calmed down yet. You don't think they'd want you to see them like this, but you want to help them feel even a little bit better for everything they've done for you so far.
Ok, how do you make Siffrin feel better? A joke? That's what they tried to say to you to make you feel better. Ok. Maybe something that has to do with learning? Or keys? Hmm…
“Are you. Um. Locked in? Like. A key? And a lock?”
Ugh that was bad.
Siffrin looks at you confused.
“What?”
Embarrassing!!!
“Um. Sorry. I tried to do a joke. Make a joke? Ah, you know what I mean!!”
They smile, still confused.
“What? Why?”
Even more embarrassing!!!!!
“Um. Because you make jokes when I’m upset and you looked upset so I thought it'd make you… Nevermind it's stupid!!!”
You turn away and hide your face. You hear him chuckle and sniff.
“...Thanks…”
Oh? But the joke was bad, and didn't make sense, and…
!!!
They ruffled your hair????
You look at them in surprise. They snicker. Um. Ok????
You stand in front of the wrong door holding the wrong key.
You take a deep breath in, and out. You hold the key right in front of the lock. You realize what Chou told you before and find the joke funny. You don't laugh though, because you know you'll break down into sobs if you do.
You're stuck. Chou is stuck. Chou won't be able to go home. You have to tell them. They have to know. They probably already figured it out, anyways. Stop stalling, Siffrin, just get it over with.
You turn around.
“How about we get the Star Crest first?”
You go to the room on your right before they can tell you that you don't need it. Right! Because prolonging the inevitable is always the right idea!
You don't know the logic behind your action. You're back in the House, you're surrounded by your worst mistakes, whoever or whatever put you here must hate you. They hate you because you got out of your eternal punishment for being selfish, so they put you back in and made sure you wouldn't be able to get out. And they put you with an innocent bystander.
Do they hate Chou too? Would they be willing to trap them with you too? What could they have possibly done to deserve that? They're just a kid.
There's no Sadness in the room. You don't see a key.
…
You're stuck.
You're stuck.
You’re stuck!
Chou is stuck with you. You convinced them to follow you, and now they're stuck. You trapped them here. How could you? Siffrin you're–
“Oh! Is that the key over there?”
You almost choke on your tight throat.
“Wh– What do you mean?” Oh you sound bad.
“Um… That little sparkle over there?”
They point to the note on the wall. You don't see anything. You squint, still nothing. Are they saying that to make you feel better?
Chou walks over to the note. You see her eyes following something, but you can't see what it is. Wow, they're willing to go a long way for a lie to make you feel better! They rip the note off, revealing a hole in the wall. It’s not like those ever lead you anywhere though…
“Hey… Chou? You know you don't…”
…
You blink.
They're in the hole in the wall. They walk to the right and you can't see them anymore.
After a couple seconds, they pop their head out, nodding for you to follow.
…
Has there been a secret passage there this whole time?
“Siffrin? You're, um, doing the thing again.”
Hmm, yes, the crying and shaking thing? You figured.
“It's sitting on the floor o'clock.”
You sit on the floor and exhale.
Oh….. Thank the Stars that Chou found that secret passage. They've walked up to you. You wave at them dismissively.
“I’m fine. Just– Surprised.”
You were sure you were trapped. You were certain. Looks like you're not locked in. Maybe you're not. Maybe that's a dead-end. Maybe only Chou can go in there because they've never angered a deity before.
You really don't think you can follow Chou through the secret passage. With your rotten luck, it might collapse when you go in, or, or–
“Ok… Do you need a minute?”
You wait a second and then nod. Yep. A whole 60 seconds is enough. You look down and bite the inside of your cheek. Stars. Your brain is mush. But hey, at least Chou isn’t trapped in here!
Yes, Isabeau. Now is the time to maybe actually fix things? This is the best chance you have at helping Sif. Tell them that you'll stay with them. That’s what they Wished for, after all!
Ok. Maybe you let them loop a couple times on purpose just so you could think about the right words to say, but it was a necessary precaution!
Oh, Crab, Isabeau, since when did you start thinking like this? You’re ok with Siffrin dying a little so you can try a fun little experiment that might not even work?
Siffrin touches another tear while you're thinking about that.
Crab!!! That was your chance!! Ok. No more distractions, TELL THEM!!! TELL THEM NOW!!!
“Hey, Sif?” You say before you even know where you are.
Siffrin is rummaging through a closet. They hitch their shoulders and hum.
“Can I, uh, tell you something?”
You look around the room. There’s a couple beds, a stool, and a chair. The room is very clean, must be an infirmary. Keep talking, Isabeau, you know which words to say (and you really hope it'll work this time.) Siffrin hums in response, taking a doll out of the closet and fixing its hair.
“So, um. I was just thinking. After we beat the King…”
You look at their reaction to find out whether you're on the right track or not, but you can’t tell what they're thinking about.
Well. Here goes everything.
“We’ll all still travel together, right?”
Siffrin doesn’t move. Crab. Did you say something wrong? But– But that’s what they Wished for, right? Crab.
Siffrin slowly turns to you, a stern and angry expression on their face.
“Isabeau.”
You messed up.
“S–Siffrin.”
Their face slowly creaks into a very fake, very forced smile.
“Why didn't you tell me sooner?”
They're smiling, but you know they’re furious.
They raise a good point, though. You waited until the second floor for this. It should have been the first thing you said. You don’t reply.
Siffrin stands up slowly, holding the doll and not looking away from you.
“And, most importantly, why are you telling me this?”
“I– Uh–”
None of this feels good. You feel like you're trapped in quicksand and he's pushing you deeper in.
“Well, it’s what you Wished for, right? It's the whole reason you're looping?”
You swear you see his face crack like the doll he's holding. The quicksand is up to your waist.
“The reason. I’m looping?”
The quicksand is up to your abdomen.
“Y–Yeah, and we all want to travel with you when this is over, so don't worry about it!”
You hold a sturdy tree branch and try to escape the quicksand.
“Isabeau.”
He holds the other end of the tree branch.
“Don’t you know it’s too late for that?”
He yanks the branch away from you. The sand is all over your face. You've sunk down to your chest.
“What do you mean?”
You look to Siffrin, begging them to put the branch back.
“Well, first of all, we've gone the wrong way, so we're stuck.”
They hold the branch above you. You sink to your clavicle.
“And second of all, you know what I Wished for. And you know of the loops.”
You grab the branch and try to pull yourself up.
“So you know I’m forcing you to be here.”
He pushes you further into the quicksand. It’s up to your chin.
“So, I’m making you say that, because you’re so used to being with me that you don’t know anything else.”
The quicksand smells so sweet.
“Sif–”
Your mouth is under the quicksand now.
“Isa.” He looks at you, and for a second you think he’s the one under quicksand. “I’m sorry you want to stay with me.”
You can’t breathe.
“I’m sorry you want to be with a monster.”
You're forced to close your eyes as you see Siffrin look down, breathing heavily, clutching the doll to their chest with one arm and pulling on their hair with the other.
You feel the last bit of your hair get submerged in the quicksand. Your ears are ringing. Your movements are sluggish. Everything feels heavy. It smells so, so sweet.
Siffrin doesn’t say anything, he keeps breathing heavily. You can see the thoughts rushing through their mind.
You messed up.
That's the only thing you're thinking as you see them shakily grab their dagger.
You decide to do the one thing you're good at and close your eyes. If you try to speak you'll only make things worse.
You should stick to being a coward next time.
You follow the cute sparkles deeper into the wall. You're kind of worried about Siffrin, and you really didn't want to go alone, but they said they were claustrophobic and just wanted to sit down, so it's ok. They taught you a neat little Craft too! What was it again…?
You look at your closed fist, stick out your pinkie and your thumb, then think really hard:
Boy, oh, boy, I wish I could talk to Siffrin right now!
You put your hand up to your ear and wait a bit. Then you hear them.
“Woah! This Craft works super well! I can even hear your breathing!”
“... Ok. Um” You hear them sniff and clear their throat “Where are you right now? Are the sparkles still there?”
You look at the sparkles. It's almost like they're looking back. You smile and wave at them.
“Yep! I'm still in the wall, it's pretty cramped in here!”
“Um. Ok… Just keep going? And be careful of where you walk!”
“Ok!”
You follow the weird sparkles. If this was any other scenario, you'd be running the opposite direction, but there's something about the sparkles that make you feel like you'll make it home. Siffrin said you were being brave earlier, too, so that gave you a pretty big confidence boost now that you're not losing your mind over seeing a corpse. Oh, shrimp, will you find any more of those where you’re going?
The sparkles fade into the wall, everything around you is suddenly very dark. You step on something that crinkles. Paper? You pick it up even though you can barely see anything.
“Um. The sparkles are gone.”
“Oh.”
“Yup.”
…
“Oh, wait, I think I see a crack in the wall? Some light's coming in through this spot.”
You knock on it. It feels like wood. Huh!
“Ok, is there a door or anything nearby?”
“Um… I don't think so? There's a wooden thing near the light… Maybe I can push it?”
You wait for them to tell you to try pushing it. Maybe it's a bad idea.
…
“Did you push it yet?”
“Oh, um! I'll get to it right now!”
You push it, and it moves! More light enters the corridor you were in. Yay!
“Something was in the way, I made it through now! There just was a… Barrel?”
“A barrel…? Ok… I think I know which room you're in. It should be safe.”
You know that they mean that there's no corpses in here. You get into the room and blink a couple of times. You take the paper you found in the secret passage up to read it.
‘Secret tunnel brought to you by: Claude the God!!!’ There's a little ‘kiki’ shape next to it.
Oh, shrimp, were those sparkles Claude? The God?? You thank them under your breath and look around.
It looks like a storage room? There's a couple of barrels around and some tables with various items and vials on them.
“Um, I think I'm in a storage room? Where should I go now? Is the key in here?”
You put the paper back in the tunnel, it must be some sacred material, and you want to pay respects to Claude the God who made the secret tunnel.
“Nope, no keys in there, you can get out.”
“Ok!”
You look around for a door, spot it, and then go towards it. Ok. You know how to open doors. You hold the handle and…
Oh, it's locked by an openphrase.
“Um… Do you know the openphrase for this door?”
“It’s openphrase123.”
…
“No it isn't.” You giggle.
“It is!!”
“That's such a stupid openphrase.”
“Oh, this House is full of stupid openphrases.”
“Really?”
“Yep, there's a room on the first floor that's locked by an even stupider openphrase.”
“Stupider than openphrase123?” The door clicks open. “I don't believe you.”
“You should! Do you wanna guess what it's called? I'll give you a hint: it's a storage room.”
You don't go through the door yet. Hmm… Stupider than openphrase123? A storage room? The openphrase must be related to the purpose of the room then… But “Storage Room” is too simple of an openphrase… Hm… Siffrin wouldn't have said it if it wasn't relevant… Hm… Ok… If it's a storage room, then it contains things, right? What if the storage room was contained in the openphrase, which was the storage room itself?
“Iiis it Stostoragerage?”
He makes a surprised sound.
“You're really close! Wanna try again?” You hear a smile in their voice. Yay!
“Um… OpenStoragePhrase?” Ah, no, that's not it. You already know that’s not it.
“Ah, nope. Sorry. You were really close though! It was Stostorage Roomoom.”
You laugh and hold the handle.
“That's so stupid! OpenStoragePhrase was way better!”
You laugh together for a bit. Then you sigh and it's awkward again.
“Um. Is the next room safe?”
“Uuh… Yeah? It's a four-way corridor, you should go… Right. Wait, no– Left. You should go left.”
You open the door. Yep, that's a hallway. Oh boy, there's a lot of frozen Siffrins in here! Especially on the left.
“Are you sure I should go left? There's a lot of, um, yous.”
“Yep. Don't go where the dog is.”
“There’s a dog!?!”
You go right. Puppy.
Ah!!! It's right there!!! Frozen in time… They're so cute!!!
“Did you go to the dog.”
“...Maybe.”
“That's ok, just don't go into the room.”
“Are there fifty more puppies in there?”
“No. It's– Not a safe room.”
“... Oh.”
You pet the dog. It's frozen, so it's kind of like petting a seal. Well, maybe not a seal, since they have fur. Maybe a sea lion? You actually don't know, you've never pet a seal or sea lion before.
You pet the dog again. Good doggy. Thank you doggy for being here. Thank you doggy for making this a little bit better. Good doggy. Pet pet. You turn back around and go where there's a bunch of other Siffrins. You actually have to squeeze through a couple to get through, which is pretty bad.
“Ok, I'm in front of the door without the puppy. Is it safe?”
“Yep! Super safe! The key should be in the open book in the room.”
You go in, and find the room pretty quickly. You grab it and get ready to go back up.
Suddenly, you realize something. What if the big tall scary man is in the room near the puppy? Or somewhere in here where you couldn't see him?
What if this was a trap? You grip the key tightly.
“Did you find it?”
“Siffrin.”
Oh, shrimp, you're scared. You hear them inhale.
“Is something wrong? Was it not a safe room? Stars, I'm so sorr–”
“No, it's not that. I just– Siffrin, what if the big tall scary man is in here?”
Siffrin doesn't answer immediately
“Siffrin?” You ask, a little desperate.
“Sorry–! Sorry! Um. I don't know?”
He doesn't know??? What does he mean he doesn't know??
You inhale and exhale. There's a possibility that the big tall scary man is in here with you. Siffrin is not here to help.
“Chou, hang on, I don't think he's there, but I'm coming over, ok?” You hear them shuffle.
“But you're claustrophobic, I don't want you to–”
You hear the sound of fabric abruptly come to a stop.
“S–Siffrin?”
No answer.
“Hello?”
No answer.
Oh no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no the big tall scary man got him, oh shrimp, it's only a matter of time before he gets you too, oh no, no, no, you don't want to die here, please you just want to go home, please!!! PLEASE!!!!!
You curl up into a ball and hold your arms, trying not to make too much noise even though you're whimpering and sighing. It’s suddenly very hard to breathe.
You left Siffrin alone, and now the big tall scary man got them, and he's gonna get you too, soon. Or maybe he'll be blocked by the barrier of frozen Siffrins? That's a horrible thing to think about! Those were people!!! Oh, shrimp, you suck!!
You hear footsteps hurrying over on the other side of the door. You gasp. He's here. Oh, shrimp, he's here. Of course he is. Did you seriously think some ice statues would stop him? No, he's big strong and already killed Siffrin, so of course he can knock over a couple–
The door opens.
You cover your face.
You don't want to die you want to go home you don't want to die you want to go home you don't want to die you want to go home you don't want to die you want to go home you don't want to die you want to go home you don't want to die you want to g
There's an arm on your shoulder. This is it. This is the end. Oh, shrimp, you're done for, you should have stayed outside. Anything would be better than this. Anything!!!
Can the big tall scary man get it over with already? His hands were built to hurt you, why is he just holding your shoulders???
Against your common sense, you open an eye.
It’s Siffrin.
He's breathing. He's looking at you, worried.
Oh, you– You thought he was the big tall scary man!
You laugh.
You were so scared. You're still laughing. You look down. Your glasses are fogging up, you try to wipe them but your hands are shaking. You cover your face. You don't know if you're crying or laughing.
Siffrin hugs you. You feel really silly. You let your fears get the best of you. You shouldn't have mentioned anything about the big tall scary man, but you were scared.
You’re glad Siffrin is here, but you’re sorry they have to deal with you.
…
…
…
Hey, coward, how about you open your eyes?
You did it again. Ignored the problem until it went away. Siffrin being the problem in this case.
Crab.
You punch a column. OWIE. You're back in a hallway. One of those little breaks that whoever’s in charge is letting you take between floors. It’s the second one, so you imagine it’s a pattern,
Who is in charge of all of this, anyway? Is it you? You're the one who made the Wish, so it must be you. Wow. You didn't think you hated cowards that much.
You wanna think about what just happened, buddy? You want to stop being a coward? Is that what you want? You want to say the right things and not make Siffrin feel worse? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
You start walking towards the door to the official break room. This corridor doesn't make you feel really great. Every step you take is a new consideration.
Start from the beginning. You made a Wish to be there for Siffrin and to know why he pushed you away (which you still don't know). This resulted in you being present right before he looped in time. You've only managed to postpone their deaths at best thus far.
You're about to enter the next floor. The third floor. After that, there's the King. You wonder what you'll see up there. You'll worry about that later, though.
Right now you should focus on what you're doing. You're trying to stop Siffrin from looping. Whether that be a tear or a dagger, you don't want to see them hurt. Maybe it's selfish. After all, they themselves have said that they were stuck, probably meaning that they couldn't progress anymore because they went the wrong way. Something about only having one crest, right?
You're a few steps away from the door. Your real break will start soon.
What are you trying to accomplish, really? Trying to ‘save’ Siffrin, but isn't he already fine? Everytime you see him loop, it's not the Siffrin that you know. And do you really think you're capable of helping them on your own? You tried to reach out to Mira before, but it didn't work.
It hurts to see them loop. Every time they do that is like they've given up. You hate it. You hate having to look away, too. You did kind of put yourself in this predicament, though, so that's on you.
You put your hand on the handle and think about how you're going to enjoy some good old fashioned floor time. Floor time is better suited for circular rooms than long corridors.
You didn’t even realize that the handle was sparkling.
You think that the madeleine in your hand is a nice little gift. A little treat for all your troubles. You smile as you bite into it.
It has all the flavors that Bonbon uses when they bake something! It's divine.
Oh! they're with you too! And so is Mira, Odile, and Sif! You're having one of your snack times, right? Ooo you wonder what options you had. You look at what the others are eating. More madeleines, right, makes sense, Odile is eating… Fish? Head? What? People eat that? Huh! You might try it out someday! Sif's eating pineapples. Have they been in Bonbon's pocket this entire time? Yikes! Oh well, they're such a good chef even the lint in their pockets tastes good.
Siffrin takes a bite and you watch their cute little hamster cheeks. Hehe. Cute. It almost makes you forget the times they hated you and pushed you away!
Their eye suddenly go wide as they stop chewing.
Um. You didn't know that hamster cheeks extended to their neck. Their whole face is pretty puffy, actually.
You. You don't think he's breathing. He slumps forward. When he hits the ground, the others are gone.
…
God crabbing da–