Chapter Text
The pain is immediate.
Sharp.
By the time Vi yanks her jacket down, the skin is already torn. Blood is slipping down her arm. That’s about all the warning she gets before pain laces through her side, hip and ankle in rapid succession. Her heart picks up at the sight of the blood.
“Fuck.”
Then.
“Cait.”
Vi looks around as though her soulmate will appear. She doesn’t, of course she doesn’t. Vi’s on a walkway making her way deeper into Zaun. Cait is supposed to be on a standard patrol. They are going to meet later for coffee and pastries at one of the cafes between their two cities.
Vi was almost convinced today was the day she was going to spit out the words.
That’s the last thing on her mind as she yanks out a roll of gauze and wraps it around her arm. Ever since Cait announced she was joining the Enforcers, Vi’s been carrying around a med kit. Just in case. Mostly it’s been paper cuts and the occasional bruise or scrape. Nothing serious. Definitely not as serious as Caitlyn makes them out to be when she examines each bandage Vi has slapped on with careful fingers and an apologetic look. Like they aren’t mirrored on her own skin. Vi doesn’t mind, but she lets Caitlyn buy the coffee to make her feel better. Crouching down she re-arranges the laces on her boots to give their ankle more support and pulls her jacket back up.
Her mind goes back as she tries to remember where Caitlyn said she was patrolling. She always tells the route, even though its confidential enforcer business and she’s technically not supposed to. Their Connection flows in sensations. Pain is the easiest to recognize, it’s the one all the pairs share. Other sensations come across their bond too, that’s not something all soulmates get. But it always stops at sensations. Never thoughts. Which some tiny part of Vi is grateful for because she’s not ready to talk about those things yet. Even though she tells Cait everything else. But right now she’s definitely not grateful for it. Especially not when she feels her heart start to pick up no matter how steadily she breathes.
It’s not her heart.
Worse, her ankle feels the same.
Cait’s not running, she’s panicking.
Vi takes off towards the nearest Enforcer station. She hopes the ache in her ankle isn’t going to make Caitlyn’s situation worse, but it’s not her biggest worry right now. Her heart’s already racing and pumping blood so she leans into the adrenaline as she hauls herself up towards Piltover. Even though the temptation is there to pull herself up like she knows how, she forces herself up the stairs. She uses the railing to swing herself up and save their ankle wherever she can.
She’s mid-swing when pain laces up her side.
She barely manages to catch herself on the rail as blood pours down her side. The arm was worrying, but this is something else. She leans against the railing and fumbles out the med kit with wet hands. Her fingers tremble as she undoes the buttons of her vest and the shirt underneath. She shoves the gauze against the wound and presses hard. It hurts like hell but she thinks about Caitlyn. Caitlyn is somewhere panicking, in pain and whoever did this is around. Even though she wants to collapse, Vi shoves herself forward. She leaves wet handprints on the rail but it’s the least of her concerns a she gets up to the pristine white-stoned streets.
It’s getting harder to think.
Enforcers. She has to get to the Enforcers. Ironic, when she spent so much of her life trying to not be spotted by them. Now she is in love with one that hurt and relying on some others to save her. There’s a vicious irony that even she can appreciate as she staggers towards Caitlyn’s station. People are looking at her weirdly but Vi doesn’t have the energy to tell them to fuck off. Everything’s going towards breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. She’s got to be getting close.
“Excuse me!”
Enforcers.
“Let me see your hands!”
That’s not gonna happen.
“Hey! Did you hear me? I said—“ the Blue Belly comes in front of her and his eyes widen in horror. Horror and, Vi hopes, recognition, “I need backup and a medic—“
“No,” she gasps out, “backup and medic to Officer Kiramman’s location. Her patrol started on—“
“Easy, easy,” he grabs her as her legs buckle, “medic!”
“No,” Vi shakes her head, “Caitlyn. You need to find Cait.”
Then there’s a sharp pain in her skull.
And it all goes dark.
She wakes up in the hospital.
Again.
“Where’s Caitlyn?” She demands through the oxygen mask someone has clapped onto her face, “did you find Officer Kiramman?”
There’s a flurry of people around her suddenly. Then, thankfully, Vander appears. He pushes them all aside and puts his hand on her forearm. Vi finally looks down to see both of her hands have been wrapped up. One has been made into a mitten. The other is just her palm and up past her wrist. Her heart pounds as she looks at the bandages. A flex of her legs tells her her ankles are in a similar state. Bindings around her ankles and wrists. This is bad.
“Dad—“
“Vi it’s going to be okay,” Vander soothes, “they’ve got teams out looking for her.”
“I need to look!”
His face darkens and Vi wonder how many times she’s made the request and can’t remember. From the annoyed look that passes among the staff, she’s guessing it’s a lot. She can barely feel any of the pain which is a good and bad sign. It means they’ve got her on enough drugs to take the edge off. It’s good because it’s lessening some of Caitlyn’s pain. It’s bad because holy shit there isn’t a part of her not banged up. She looks desperately at dad and he gives her a sympathetic look.
“Right now you need to stay here,” he says.
“No, no way,” Vi shakes her head, “Dad—“ she’s cut off by a sting in her bottom lip and she tastes blood, “I have to help her.”
“This is helping her,” he says, shifting the oxygen mask and pushing a tissue against Vi’s lip.
“How long was I out?” Vi asks.
“A few hours,” Vander says and her stomach bottoms out without any help from Caitlyn’s dire situation, “Vi,” he shifts the mask back onto her face, “Vi, breathe.”
Vi tries to copy the puff of his cheeks but the panic is crippling. She’s been laying here getting beat up for hours and she’s the one whose better off. Caitlyn is somewhere. She could be anywhere. They clearly haven’t found her. Vi knows this has turned from a missing officer to a kidnapped heiress situation. Even before she sees Cassandra Kiramman talking to a man clad in black. Even the best security money can buy can’t find Caitlyn. It makes Vi want to puke, but from the dryness in her throat she doesn’t think that’s going to help matters.
“I need ice,” she says, “lemon ice.”
Vander looks at the doctor who nods. Vi knows they might need to take her in for surgery but this barely counts. She likes the cherry better but this isn’t for her. All soulmates can feel pain across their bond, but if your bond is strong then you can feel other things too. The lemon hits a different part of her taste buds than the sweet cherry. She shoves it into her mouth and holds it against her tongue, hoping Caitlyn can feel it. Wherever she is.
Because even hours later, they don’t know.
“Still?!” Vi demands.
“Vi,” Vander says. Cassandra Kiramman’s face is starting to look gaunt with worry, “they’re doing everything they can.”
“It’s not enough!” Vi shoots back, “I can find her—“
Vander catches her before she gets up fully, his hands firmly on her shoulders.
“She needs you here,” he reminds her, “if you’re both out there—“ he doesn’t’ finish but he doesn’t need to, “you need to rest. For both of you.”
Vi opens her mouth to protest again but then the procession of carts begins. Carts with little labels like ‘chest’ and ‘intubation’ and ‘exsanguination’ and ‘crash’. Little boxes that are supposed to keep her and Caitlyn alive should the worst happen. The only way they do that is by keeping her body going. One of the nurses gives her an apologetic look and motions at the top of her ear. Vi fumbles out her earrings.
“It’s just a precaution,” the nurse says.
Vaguely Vi remembers Caitlyn explaining how long a kidnapping victim usually gets before a ransom note is given. How long they get before body parts start coming back. Vi rubs her earlobes with her less bandaged hand and wonders if that’s where they’re going to start. She doesn’t give a shit about her earlobes but Caitlyn—she can’t think about them cutting off pieces of Caitlyn. She has to stay calm for both of them.
“You should get some rest,” Vander says
“Seriously?” Vi asks.
“For Caitlyn,” he says.
That gets her to nod instead of pointing out she’s got a better chance at walking out of here and finding her at the cafe they were supposed to meet at. Cassandra Kiramman meets her eyes through the window and Vi tries to smile at her. It doesn’t work so instead she settles for a half yawn. Tries to show her she’s okay and so is Caitlyn, even though neither of them truly believe it. Still it’s enough for the circus to darken the lights a bit.
“I’m gonna let the others know we’ll be here overnight,” Vander tells her and then slips out as well.
Alone, Vi wraps her arms around her middle. Their bond is strong. They can feel more than pain echoing between them. She needs Caitlyn to feel this. She needs her to feel she’s there in some way. Even if Vi waited too long to get the words out, Caitlyn has to know she’s with her. Neither of them are ready to die. The thought of leaving everyone makes Vi sick. The only thing that sounds worse is having to learn to live without her soulmate. She’s not meant to. Neither of them are. That’s the only comfort Vi has in this. If Caitlyn goes, she goes too.
Two halves of a whole.
There’s a stinging pain on her fingertip and Vi watches a good piece of her nail fall away. They keep their nails short and practical. There’s another stinging feeling but it barely registers up her fingertip. It’s a scratch. It starts at the base of her fingers. Vi rips the bandage off as the scratches purposefully dig into her flesh.
W-A-R-H-O-U-S-E
O-N
S-U-L-L-I-V-A-N
Vi slams her hand into the buzzer.
“I found her!”
There’s an entire circus in the room again.
Vi’s glad she missed the first one.
“Really, I’m fine,” Caitlyn protests as they slap monitors on her and tuck a hospital gown around her, “these are just going to show you the same thing!”
“Let them work,” Vi says.
Caitlyn opens her mouth and then closes it, pressing her lips together. Vi focuses on the team that surrounds her. This place is specially equipped for soulmates. One nurse sprays something numbing in her arm as Caitlyn’s IV is inserted. Her machines are shut off and switched on in sync with Caitlyn’s so their blood pressure cuffs will sync with that annoying squeezing they do. The grey cap on her finger is moved in to another and matched with Caitlyn’s so even that discomfort will be the same. Their numbers are identical, right down the wavy line of their heart monitors. Finally the teams step back.
Vi feels like she’s fourteen again.
At least Caitlyn’s awake this time.
The circus slips out, half to attend other patients and half to update Caitlyn’s parents. Caitlyn opens her mouth to speak and then closes it. They have maybe a minute before her mom comes flying into the room. Less if the click of heels is any indication. Vi’s hand squeezes like someone is holding it. Caitlyn offers a small smile that cuts right to Vi’s core. She can’t figure out how to make her face reciprocate the gesture before the door bangs open and Caitlyn’s parents come flying into the room, throwing the curtain shut between them. It doesn’t matter. Her own forehead grows tacky with the feeling of Cassandra Kiramman’s lipstick and her cheek itches with the brush of Tobias Kiramman’s whiskers. The feel of her own hand being squeezed echoes along their bond.
Even though she’s hidden by the curtain, Vi still feels like she’s doing something forbidden when she lifts the squeezed hand to her lips and kisses her own knuckles.
For a beat nothing happens.
Then.
“Tobias! Get the doctor, I think she has a fever! Look how flushed she is!”
Cherry-lemon is not a bad combo, thank the Gods.
“The nail thing was smart,” she says, trying to dig at the ice, “but I think we’re gonna lose it.”
Caitlyn sighs in annoyance even though it’s like the least of their problems. It’s an inconvenience compared to the rest of it. But no-one cut their earlobes off and their hearts are still beating. Vi is calling it a win. Even though Caitlyn keeps trying to apologize like it’s somehow her fault. Vi has to keep coming up with new ways to shut it down. But she’s not sure either of them can handle another brain freeze. The nail thing is minor but it’s annoying as they scrape at the ices.
“I’m sorry,” Caitlyn says.
“Cait!” Vi rolls her eyes.
“Would you let me finish?” Caitlyn questions, “I’m not apologizing for this,” she says, motioning around with her spoon. She stabs the ice, “I’m sorry because we were supposed to get coffee afterwards and you sounded excited.”
Excited.
Nervous.
Both?
Soulmates are one thing. They’re their own thing. She and Caitlyn will be soulmates for the rest of their days. She will always have Caitlyn no matter what happens in her life. Literally. Vi hates to even think about her family dying. She know she’ll want to die if that happens, but that will be the extent of it. She’ll never watch Caitlyn die. Caitlyn will never watch her die. Their hearts will stop at the exact same time down to the millisecond. That bond is sacred. In a way it makes the prospect of confessing your feelings even scarier. Not just because you’re confessing your feelings but if you fuck up the relationship—you break your own heart. Sure there are soulmates who never speak. Who drink the bond away or cut themselves to punish their other half. Vi doesn’t think she could bear it. But she doesn’t know how to bear the idea of Caitlyn in love with someone else either.
“I’ll tell you when we’re out of here, how ‘bout that?” Vi says.
Caitlyn’s smile turns sad but she nods.
“We’ll get coffee.”
“Vi!”
“Vi stay with us!”
Dimly Vi is aware she’s flying. There’s a bang up ahead. She forces her eyes open as the lights shift from tiles to the big round ones. Her body feels like it’s being sucked away. She’s lifted onto a table and looks over to see Caitlyn on it’s twin. Her lips are colorless and her eyes are wet. Something’s horribly wrong. Vi watches and feels as their arms are strapped down so they can’t even squeeze their own hands. All they can do is look at each other.
“Sorry,” Caitlyn mouths.
Their hearts will stop at the same time.
Down to the millisecond.
They’ll never live without the other.
“I love you,” Vi whispers back.
Tears break free on Caitlyn’s face. But her lips curve up.
“Love you too,” she whispers.
Then the doctors guide her head up and fit a mask over her face.
A moment later the same is done to Vi.
“Count back from ten,” the doctor instructs.
She gets to eight.
She wakes with a scratchy throat.
But she wakes up.
Actually she wakes up second this time. Because by the time she pries her eyes open Caitlyn is climbing into her bed. Vi barely manages to scoot over enough but Caitlyn doesn’t seem to care. She’s disconnected all of her monitors but Vi never got the point of two sets. Caitlyn is still pale but she’s looking at lot better. The IV pole she’s attached to still has a bag of blood hanging from it. Vi doesn’t need to look she has the same. Caitlyn wiggles down so they’re sharing the pillow. Vi touches her chest and feels the bandage taped there.
“There was a bleed,” Caitlyn whispers.
“Did we—“
“I think so,” she says.
Vi looks up and bites down on her lip, just enough to dent it. The same dent appears on Caitlyn’s. Relief swamps through her. Even though there is no evidence of the bond being broken through death, the idea of being without Caitlyn terrifies her more than she can say. She shifts over so she’s facing Caitlyn. They reach for each other at the same time and just wrap their limbs together. It’s only been days but suddenly the world makes sense again. They let out twin sighs as Vi’s heart rate monitor steadies. They’re alive and they have each other. That’s the most important thing.
“Was that what you were going to tell me?” Caitlyn asks into her chest, “that you love me?”
Vi opens her mouth and then closes it and nods. Caitlyn nuzzles closer to her.
“That’s such a relief,” she sighs, “I was planning to tell you the same thing.”
“What?” Vi stares down at the crown of her midnight hair, “you were?”
“Of course I was,” Caitlyn says, peering up at her, “I’ve loved you since I woke up.”
Vi doesn’t know which one of them starts the tears first. But she doesn’t question if they’re tears of relief, the feeling is too strong. They just hug each other closer. Until there’s a knock at the door. Vi doesn’t want to do another one of the circuses. She glances to make sure it’s not Tobias and then flips off whoever is trying to come in to poke and prod them. Caitlyn makes a fond, exasperated noise that rakes across the rawness in Vi’s throat. But then she tightens her arms around Vi and Vi doesn’t care.
“Violet,” she sighs, much more fondly than when they were fourteen.
“What? Can’t I just hold you?” Vi asks, feigning innocence, “they’re gonna make you go back over there if they come in.”
Her finger throbs as Caitlyn tightens her hands in her hospital gown.
Vi isn’t ready for that to happen either.
She’s out of her fucking mind.
Vi looks at the blue pants and the white t-shirt. She’s gone insane. No-one is going to let her live this down. And yet, it didn’t stop her from signing the forms or taking the clothes. It didn’t stop the warm feeling in her chest when Cassandra Kiramman hugged her so tightly she thought Caitlyn would feel it. She’s hated Enforcers for as long as she can remember. Caitlyn’s the exception. She’s a good one. Vi doesn’t know if there’s more, she doesn’t care. She’s not doing this to protect people, she’s doing it to protect Caitlyn so she can protect people. Somehow she thought the hardest thing would be telling Caitlyn she loves her.
Turned out that was the easy one.
Vi steps out of the bathroom to see Caitlyn already changed. They’ve established they have feelings for each other. But the other stuff is going to come slowly with their injuries and the protectiveness they feel towards each other. This is it for them. They both know it. This is the relationship Vi will be in until she dies, with the person she will have until she dies. And she’s going to do everything in her power to make sure that day is a long time off. Caitlyn smiles when she hears the door close before she goes back to business.
“So I will see you after my evaluation,” Caitlyn says, scraping her hair into a ponytail, “and we can talk.”
“Actually—“ Vi says.
Caitlyn turns around.
Her eyes widen at the sight of Vi’s matching garments. Then they flood with tears. Vi’s own eyes flood right back as she crosses the room and goes to pull Caitlyn into an embrace. Caitlyn flattens her hands on her shoulders and looks at what she’s wearing.
“But you hate Enforcers,” Caitlyn breathes.
“Yeah, but I love you,” Vi says, “I want to protect you.”
Caitlyn laughs wetly.
“You can’t just join the Enforcers to protect me,” she says.
“Your mom thought differently,” Vi says, pulling out the trainee badge, “besides I figure if I protect you and we wind up protecting some other people along the way—that still counts.”
Caitlyn opens her mouth and then closes it. She looks down at the badge and then back to Vi’s face. Vi can feel their hearts racing in sync, no monitor required. But there’s something impossibly soft and happy on Caitlyn’s face as she looks from the badge to Vi. A shiver goes down Vi’s spine as her hands shift from her shoulders to wrap around her neck. The hand without the half healed nail strokes through the hairs at the nape of Vi’s neck.
“So we’re partners,” Caitlyn says.
“Damn right,” Vi says, letting her hands settle on Caitlyn’s waist, “if I pass this stupid test.”
Caitlyn’s eyes flick to her lips and the old, matching scars they share. Vi wonders what it’s going to feel like to kiss her soulmate. She’s felt the echoes of pleasure across their bond but it’s not something they’ve ever talked about. They can talk about it now. They can discover it now. All the shit she was worried about doesn’t even seem to matter as she dips her head. Only to be stopped by the press of Caitlyn’s forehead.
“After,” she whispers.
“After?” Vi gets out around the ache she knows Caitlyn shares, “Cupcake—“
“Think of it as motivation not to call this ‘stupid’ in front of your evaluators,” she says. The wicked smile turns soft again, “I need my partner.”
Anything snarky Vi wants to say falls away and she nods with the simple truth on her lips. She needs her too. So much.
“Ready to watch the course record get beaten?”
Caitlyn sighs and her breath tickles Vi’s face.
After.
They both know who holds the record.
“Violet.”
“Come on, it’ll still be held by a soulmate pair,” she says, shifting so her arm is around Caitlyn’s waist. Caitlyn picks up their duffle bags and wraps her arm around Vi’s shoulder, “I gotta impress my partner.”
“You’re very impressive,” Caitlyn says, “but you’re not beating my record.”
“We’ll see.”
The record stands.
But later when Vi feels the echos of Caitlyn’s pleasure mixing with her own as they kiss, she finds she could care less.
She has her partner.
That’s the only thing that matters.