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Published:
2025-02-04
Updated:
2025-05-24
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3/?
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Slowly Learning What It Means To Live (again?)

Summary:

A new message appeared in the world chat on everyone’s comms:

-Tommyinnit tried to swim in lava.-

Then another:

-Tommyinnit left the game.-

Everyone panicked.

Eburnean Tommy AND Hermit Tommy in one fic???

Chapter 1: Alexithymia

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Tommy, run! Follow me! We need to get you the fuck out of here!”

“No, Tommy. Stay.”

Two conflicting orders. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know, so he did nothing.

Tommy lay still, sprawled on the warm, hard ground of the room he was in, in a pool of partially dried blood.  He couldn’t see. He couldn’t remember. His heart was beating fast in his chest and his eye felt prickly. It was weird.

“See, Sam?” That was the same voice who told him to stay. He sounded smug. “He’s completely obedient to me.” That didn’t really mean anything, Tommy thought. He was obedient to everyone. Stay Man wasn’t special.

“No, Tommy! Don’t listen to him!” The person who told him to run–Sam, as Stay Man had called him–exclaimed. Tommy took it as an order. He would no longer listen to Stay Man. Got it. “Get up and follow me. You need help.”

Tommy obeyed Sam and stood up, walking toward where he had heard Sam’s voice coming from. His body ached. It made his throat clench and his muscles tighten.

He felt Sam take his hand and lead him…somewhere. He didn’t really know or care exactly where. He couldn’t see his surroundings, but he did know that this area was much warmer than the last place he’d been. And a bit brighter, too, if his now mostly useless eye wasn’t deceiving him. A part of him wanted to go off the path and to the warmth.

That part of him only grew stronger as he felt Sam let go and himself start moving. He wasn’t the one moving though–the floor was. That part of him was now screaming, ordering him to listen, and who would he be if he didn’t obey?

He took one step, two, barely listening to Sam’s apologies and panicked yelling as his foot fell short of the floor and he fell. He sank into the burning liquid, letting the heat and weight of the molten rock crush him.

A new message appeared in the world chat on everyone’s comms:

<Tommyinnit tried to swim in lava.>

Then another:

<Tommyinnit left the game.>

Everyone panicked.

Notes:

List of different psychological disorders dealing with lack of emotion:

Apathy (AH - puh - thee):
A lack of interest, emotion, or concern. People with apathy may lack the energy to do everyday things, and may not care about their problems.

Anhedonia (an - ah - DOE - nee - uh):
A lack of interest or enjoyment in life. People with anhedonia may feel numb, bored, or negative.

Alexithymia (uh - leck - suh - THIGH - mee - uh):
Difficulty recognizing and feeling emotions. People with alexithymia may have trouble expressing their emotions.

When I first posted chapter one, I failed to research Tommy’s conditions properly in this fic to match them to the correct term. I called it apathy when alexithymia is the more accurate term. I know that nobody cares but me and my psychology obsession, but I want to be as accurate as I can be to not accidentally misinform anyone. Thank you.

I have also changed some details (such as the title and Tommy’s internal monologue), again just for accuracy’s sake. I really don’t wanna use the “medical inaccuracies” tag, because of my perfectionism. It would drive me nuts, lol.

(If you read that, comment about what phobias you have :3 )

I also made some other edits as well, but they are more minor.

 

Anyway, to clear your mind, here is a link to a picture of cute kitties:

https://media1.tenor.com/m/KzH3RjSXI9MAAAAC/love-you-kiss.gif

also, this chapter is short because it's the prequel. The next one will be longer, I promise

Chapter 2: Hacker? ⚠️

Summary:

< ℸ ̣ 𝙹ᒲᒲ||╎リリ╎ℸ ̣ joined the game.>

There's a hacker on Hermitcraft???

Notes:

Guys, if you realise that anything doesn't match up to how characters act or the world locations, shhhhh no you didn't. I am only just now watching HC8 so...

Also, I'm watching it from Pearl's POV, not Tango's so I don't know why I chose him to be the MC. I must just like making everything harder for myself.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

< ℸ ̣ 𝙹ᒲᒲ||╎リリ╎ℸ ̣ joined the game.>

That was the message that appeared in the world chat of Hermitcraft Season 8 on an otherwise normal day.

Before the message, Tango had been hauling some wares up to the Big Eyes Pass N’ Gas up by world spawn. He’d asked BDubs earlier if he had restocked and he’d said no, so Tango was being responsible and running the gas station, all on his lonesome. (He wasn’t really upset, he just liked complaining.)

As he was putting golden carrots in the chest and taking out the diamonds that had piled up there when he felt his comm buzz in his inventory. He took his comm out to check if it was meant for him or not and that was the message. “ <ℸ ̣ 𝙹ᒲᒲ||╎リリ╎ℸ ̣ joined the game.> ” What in the Nether..?

Soon, a flood of messages from other Hermits started coming through:

<GoodTimeWithScar> who is that

<GoodTimeWithScar> xisuma do you know them?

<Grian> why is their name in galactic???

<Grian> is it one of THEM????

<ImpulseSV> ???

<GeminiTay> huh?

Tango even contributed to the flood of confused messages, quickly typing out his guess:

<TangoTek> new hermit???? Mid-season??? :0

Xisuma was quick to respond, sending out an admin message–a message that overrides everything and even has a built in TTS system to make sure everyone hears:

<XisumaVoid> I do not know the new person, nor why their name is in Galactic. If anyone is near spawn, I need someone to get there and hopefully catch the person before they get too far–they are a hacker of whom we don’t know their intent. Even if you aren’t near spawn, still do keep an eye out for anyone you don’t recognise. Thank you. Hopefully they aren’t dangerous, but better safe than sorry. On that note, stay safe! -XisumaVoid (Server Admin)

Okay, so that can’t be good. Hackers nearly never have good intent and are often quite hostile. Still, Tango, being the good Hermit he was, quickly let Xisuma know he was near spawn and was going to look around for the mystery hacker person. Xisuma thanked him and Tango was officially off work for today. At least by his standards.

Tango left the gas station, abandoning his task to run across the dirt path and into the Spawn Egg to check for the hacker. 

Luckily for him, the hacker is still in the spawn, sitting in the middle of the floor unmoving. Tango was about to go question the person–”why are you here” “who are you” “what do you want”–but stopped when he saw the person’s appearance.

Scars, both old and new, marred the person's skin. There were cuts from weapons and nails alike, burns, arrow scars, bruises, and there were even a few places where their flesh was ripped away and bones were visible. The person was incredibly thin–so much so that Tango could see their ribs through their ripped shirt. The sight made Tango feel slightly ill.

They also had red horns, chipped, cracked and broken like everything else on their body. They only had one wing–the other had been crudely cut off just above the shoulder, mid-bone–and the one that he did have was broken, feathers missing and bones broken. Their tail wasn’t looking much better–it was sitting at an odd angle, one that even the most nimble tails can’t achieve without being broken.

Their hair was matted, burnt, and so caked in blood and dirt that it was impossible to tell what colour it was. There was a crushed flower tucked behind their left ear, lavender colour seeping into their hair, dying it slightly. Their eye was a cloudy blue-grey colour, covered in a white film that gave away that they were blind. They only had one eye, the one on their left was missing from the socket, the flesh around it ripped away from the cracked bone.

Suffice to say, Tango’s opinion on the ‘hacker’ (was he even a hacker on purpose or was it an accident?) had completely changed since two seconds ago. The danger-threat-attack in his mind had shifted to help-save-protect. He rushed over to the person, holding his hand out to help them up. Remembering that they were blind, Tango said, “Here, let me help you up.”

The person didn’t react to a stranger talking to them nor did they flinch at the sound of a voice so close, they merely reached up and took Tango’s hand using it as something stable to help themself up. The stranger didn’t even thank him or say anything at all, just continued staring expressionlessly at nothing. Maybe they were mute.

“Can you speak? If not just shake your head or something,” Tango said, wanting to know what to expect of the person. The person almost immediately shook their head, still expressionless. 

Tango needed some way to communicate with them! He was sent to make sure they weren’t a threat, and even though he had a hunch, Tango couldn’t be sure without proof. “Can you write?” Tango asked hopefully. When the person didn’t respond, he questioned if they had even heard him. He repeated himself. “Can you write, yes or no? Nod for yes, shake for no.”

The person responded this time, nodding. Good! A form of communication! Tango led him toward the yellow bed, telling him to, “Sit down and wait here, I’ll be back for a book and quill for you.” They did as they were told, sitting and waiting. It was as if they were an animal. The thought was disgusting.

Notes:

Yes. FatherTek FTW y'all. He is going to be the father figure here. Tommy will be his spark and Tango will be his O2 :)

Chapter 3: Be a good friend🫡

Notes:

Oopsy poopsie :3 if this is different or the way I show Eburnian!Tom is diff from the last chapters, just know that its been a few months so I might not be perfectly true to the OG. PLus, the OG was a mess anyway lmao

also, I watch Tango like ritually now, so I can hopefully characterise him better :p

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tommy—that was his name, right? It was what his first master—Stay Man—as well as Sam—the man who had told him to run and not listen—had called him, so it must be—took the book from the new master and the quill too, waiting for an order. A moment of silence. A crackle of a flame. Then: "So, can you write your name for me, Sparky?"

Tommy could try. But, was his name Tommy or Sparky? Tom- Sparky(?) didn't understand what to write for his "name" so he didn't write at all. "Write your name, dude! I won't judjificate you," New Master—that was what Tom-Spark would call him—prompted again, urging Spar- Tommy(?) to just write down something. 'I can't.' He hated disobeying orders, it went against the very fabric of his being, but Sparky couldn't help it. He genuinely couldn't follow through doing what New Master told him to if he didn't know how. Plus, 'I can't' and 'I won't' are two different answers, no? 

New Master squeaked curiously, as if hoping for an explanation that Tommy/Sparky could never give. "What do you mean you can't? Is it that you don't know your name? Or maybe you don't have one?" Tommy/Sparky wasn't sure if New Master was looking for an answer or not. He did not give one either way. After a moment's silence, New Master muttered, "...Could you answer my question? It's so awkward just sitting here." Oh no! Tommy/Sparky had upset his master! He quickly felt for his first message, and hurriedly wrote under the 'I can't.', adding a new response, wanting to rectify his mistake: 'I don't know it. It might be Tommy, because both Stay Man and Sam called me that, but you called me Sparky, so I don't know...'

"Hm..." New Master hummed, thinking. "Well, I called you Sparky as, y'know, a little nickname thing! So..! Yeah! We'll go with Tommy." He sounded chipper, like he was oblivious to the fact that Tommy/Sp-— just Tommy!— did not in fact know what he meant by a 'nickname,' but decided it was best not to question it. He wasn't told to question his new master, so he wouldn't. He could be good. He wouldn't break the rules.

Being bad wasn't something a good friend would do, at least according to his very faint and blurred memories from before he woke up in the weird hot box and fell in lava. It was one of the few things that was even there at all, actually. Just 'good friends listen to what their friends tell them' and 'if you're not a good friend, your best friend will punish you as a lesson'. Those two phrases summed up all of his 'memories' pretty well. Just thinking about it made Tommy's fists clench subconsciously and that impulsive voice in his head, the one that had begged him to walk into that molten rock, make him want to hurt someone or something. The voice wasn't ordering him to, though, so he tried his best to ignore it.

New Master cleared his throat. "Er... Erm," he stuttered out, voice somehow even squeaker than average. "I'm uh... Tango! Of the Tek variety, if you were wondering..." The last part was mumbled out, almost self-consciously. Tommy had, in fact, not been wondering, but if Tango was what his master wanted to be referred to as, then Tommy would do so. That was how good friends acted, after all. Tommy focused on unclenching his first and quieting the voice that was now merely suggesting he hurt something. 

Silence. This specific silence made Tommy's throat feel dry and his tongue feel heavy. It was weird, and that feeling just led to his heart beating quicker and his breaths coming out shorter and more rapidly. Tommy wrapped his arms around himself in a way that his subconscious told him would feel safe. It didn't really help.

"So, uh, do you ever speak unless your spoken to? Or like, write or whatever? Because, like, you are unusually quiet-slash-untalkative for a teen, man..."

Notes:

Again, sorry if it's different than the last two parts of this, but I am excited to continue! Woop Woop! Also, thank
Bianca_Di_Angelos_Ghost for commenting the one comment that reminded me of this fic's existence and therefore got me to write another chapter.